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bipolarreddit,onetrueking666,2019/08/04,"How to tell a new significant other that you’re bipolar ? I recently got into a new relationship, and i feel its best to let my new girlfriend know that i am bipolar. however, i don’t want to tell her too soon, or i don’t want her to leave me over this. i just need some help figuring out when to tell her, and how. it’s especially hard to tell her because her own brother is bipolar, and she has a terrible relationship with him. i don’t want her to associate me with her brother and for her to eventually dislike me as much as she dislikes her brother. any advice ?",4.968981366459623,5.09956890434783,6.516273291925469,77.60521739130434,68.65217391304347,10.049689440993786,33.81987577639751,9.957137785484203,3.19411801242236,444,20,92,10,7,153,66,115,0.1,0.7859999999999999,0.114,0.1697,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,3,0,7,3,0,2,0,20,14,10,0,4,2,3,2,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,23,1,16,12,4,9,0,0,0,0,23,3,0,2,6,70,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15866433687737594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11041595150916986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989781545450562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703954204089301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209824623874684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12986069117377422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14545002493413342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883198944160448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892333226203334,0.0,0.0,0.1719244916196638,0.0,0.1660324968100045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935931761183435,0.12039397129914325,0.0,0.470448690684847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16031902038559045,0.3486453886018725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5676678932864749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873069334731627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CapriciousFatal,2019/08/04,How many depressive episodes did you have before treatment? How many after? Were your post-treatment episodes shorter and less intense?,7.189999999999998,11.331647047619052,3.4352380952380983,82.90142857142861,78.52380952380952,4.704761904761905,40.333333333333336,6.42735559955562,3.3601619047619065,112,7,14,1,3,29,17,21,0.142,0.813,0.045,-0.4824,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,3,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,10,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33389805545459905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3379680357455582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7956510507481462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3758046045770293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,planarX,2019/08/04,"Update, additional advice requested: Bipolar gf attempted suicide last nigh, need advice An update to my previous post: I ended up talking with her that night, drove her to get a burrito and a candy bar and went to bed. However, the next day, she was still really shut down so I decided to take her to the hospital as a voluntary admission. I'm visiting her shortly and seemed tonbe doing bettee when we talked on the phone. Thanks to everybody for your help.

I need some additional advice. It seems like encouraging her in things she enjoys doing (camping, for example), encouraging hobbies and helping maintain a routine might be beneficial overall, even if slightly, and reduce triggers. Are there any things you do or a loved does for you that you believe is beneficial for your bipolar? If so, what exactly do they (or you) do? Do you have any activities or non-prescription meds or diet that you feel have helped?",6.311727272727271,8.096915521212125,7.15068181818182,68.28602272727272,66.51515151515152,10.833333333333336,34.96212121212121,10.864195022040775,4.456303030303031,731,35,116,22,12,243,111,165,0.025,0.804,0.171,0.9754,1,0,0,0,0,1,26.0,1,8,1,1,6,6,0,0,9,0,13,5,0,1,1,25,25,15,1,4,6,0,1,1,1,1,2,0,1,0,7,9,2,0,4,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,21,6,16,20,1,19,0,0,0,1,29,6,0,10,10,84,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4630906725403579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148460002623145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779747530752943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10187566872939527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13823801609123448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13991190514243892,0.0,0.0,0.10433573622255864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07987287883617304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253125548582864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3176459195324325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876421639794644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717471365450101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425714157502164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17546576380355985,0.0,0.0,0.16757805989217756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23426110843385406,0.0,0.0,0.16799973289784714,0.14824136055387352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512887525784601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011977270429687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28761451009640504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615267751330486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727902962548627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877155042838786,0.2539358367031177,0.0,0.14543482148970796,0.0,0.0,0.2098925565767716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14643702324569516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,i_am_meee,2019/08/04,"Think I’m stable but not completely satisfied I am fine except for my manic episodes although it hasn’t happened in years thanks to meds. I don’t get depressed. It’s so annoying to think people still see me as a weird person for how I acted. Hopefully if I continue to stay stable people will see me more positively. I still want to improve but I feel like I’m stuck where I am. Stuff like my shyness at work, being more assertive, not being sensitive, being more sociable I really want to work on. I have a gf and a job but I’m never satisfied. I am stuck in my own head so much and I don’t actually do a lot. I wish I had more social media presence but I have hardly any friends and the only time I use it is when I’ve gone mad. The rest of the time I don’t ever know what to say. It’s like I lost my natural ability to connect with people sometimes. I want there to be more to my life than always playing it safe and feeling like a boring person.",1.6703055555555582,3.438785775000003,4.083333333333332,85.57722222222223,78.75,7.044444444444442,23.61111111111111,7.984000788550335,1.3275277777777772,745,25,155,13,18,260,112,200,0.149,0.5660000000000001,0.285,0.9836,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,9,16,2,0,8,0,17,2,1,2,2,29,40,15,0,6,8,0,3,4,2,1,1,1,0,2,7,5,0,1,5,1,0,2,7,6,0,0,5,6,25,10,20,30,9,17,0,2,2,0,6,5,0,3,13,108,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.13487600214433468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500433201811522,0.0,0.0,0.09398961549013277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14491375633777975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11904269992529096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502161918215413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13976934475365585,0.19747886519631236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10678306180755616,0.0,0.07221061559963879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222213462116265,0.0,0.12381174757574848,0.0,0.1418464667279371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13727674741041346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13715512836560714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595827928264129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976239666990812,0.2700956649168762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15087587412568576,0.11750379501828105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15352354385414038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160249686902588,0.0,0.1065984269502539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511725483862794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874585846748761,0.2413646133084717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885428208263687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991256712082537,0.0,0.0,0.22027581729199908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14089080183728048,0.0,0.0,0.13669624340303693,0.0,0.0,0.1473167245448139,0.22075424514395392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582208783714804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272480095883028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17712268698197184,0.0,0.0,0.16118628523571282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937170121691165,0.0,0.0,0.2445649187069596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15893818979694604,0.0,0.0,0.20124149722129897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900467456575666
bipolarreddit,emobf,2019/08/04,"In need of some advice/education on Bipolar disorders Hi, is there anyone on here who would be willing to give me some advice? It isn’t about me, but a friend. I am in a very complicated situation that will take a long time to explain and go through, but I am really desperate for some pointers from somebody who knows what they’re talking about. I want to know what to do, and I want it to be the right thing. I do not want to blast my friends business publicly on the internet, no matter how anonymous I try to make it, so please dm me if you’re willing to help. Thank you, and have a nice day regardless!
If this kind of post isn’t allowed, feel free to remove it.",6.327741596638652,5.201338727941182,6.823907563025213,80.74294117647061,66.13235294117646,10.124369747899161,34.134453781512605,9.23628265651192,2.726104201680672,521,20,112,8,7,171,89,136,0.042,0.733,0.225,0.9776,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,0,6,0,14,1,0,3,0,25,27,9,0,8,5,0,1,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,11,3,0,0,4,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,11,7,21,21,3,12,0,0,0,0,11,6,0,5,3,79,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20062785818180592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435584575869036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13240882464267195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353045746742165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10381157875504232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3172460527758099,0.0,0.0,0.19695333854767735,0.11668316180484277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13761585856693828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138001589027685,0.2256674782512684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18169406871522056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704690888101084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15223575174562812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253701895262972,0.0,0.0,0.19663150348273367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152769705847467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753347563686874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23077854022159294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15436857091935796,0.16502147221150748,0.0,0.18902309075113494,0.0,0.0,0.13639972656963198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11971868919806355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13939291794920594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16940335146312935,0.3632938304721356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14584728011755982,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ishitart,2019/08/04,"I struggle with being alone and making decisions, advice? I don’t know if anyone else struggles with the alone part but lately after starting my new job which involves me to interact with a lot of people I’ve begun to notice that once I’m home it’s very difficult to be alone. 

When I’m alone I just don’t know what to do with myself, I’ll pace around my room, clean things up, get ready for work but still have hours till I go in. When I’m alone it’s almost impossible to make a decision, what do I want to do with my free time? I want to draw, play video games, watch TV, do laundry, cook and clean all at the same time. Cleaning usually helps the most as it calms my anxiety but i know I can’t keep cleaning day and night. 

When I’m with my boyfriend (who lives with me) he can usually help/tell when I can’t make a decision and he’ll give me 2-3 options to pick from and for some reason that makes it easier. But I want to make small decisions on my own and not feel like it’s a stressful situation just to decide to draw or play games. 

Does anyone have any good coping mechanisms for this? Ive found what works the best for me is usually make a plan the day before but then that brings on more anxiety.",3.641097419204837,4.219888241106723,4.672615670774238,88.06933271332252,71.72727272727272,8.324482678446875,24.36851894908161,8.4952907291091,1.2379143920018598,947,24,213,15,17,310,139,253,0.107,0.723,0.17,0.9690000000000001,1,5,0,1,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,4,8,11,0,3,10,0,15,1,0,8,1,53,40,20,0,4,10,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,6,0,15,14,1,1,11,7,1,2,5,4,0,0,1,2,22,8,33,36,9,31,0,0,1,0,9,8,0,7,22,125,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951254125187184,0.0,0.0,0.097477986049879,0.5041056380776084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06619863759348853,0.0,0.14893889088024645,0.0,0.0,0.13613321322635294,0.09974251013408428,0.0,0.08665860402094126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828343004747301,0.0,0.10215865125524097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556027043700993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08518816564137496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132011573547906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04922107698694635,0.06954402229082675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673489582887333,0.0,0.0,0.050859282140430055,0.09338318091054433,0.05532399140011656,0.08164923024841618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13049798202436033,0.0,0.09764600380751873,0.0,0.0958662293182785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09660091265844586,0.08652562300988091,0.0,0.0,0.16049649451915604,0.0,0.10981056036850756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04755835244182289,0.0,0.08595832672601639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276011239870817,0.0,0.0,0.3898753800155039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401740103464123,0.0,0.091352653451216,0.0,0.0,0.11082909877950928,0.0,0.1036703434407347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541626268519158,0.0,0.0674874792312455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008793037095796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10942101479822054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890202008859313,0.0,0.0777406641962638,0.0,0.11150954687675876,0.20353441038745693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467237588520143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352650423896901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3216386927172386,0.08032066850547168,0.1722516294713712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417381364297885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,anthroplology,2019/08/04,"I'm afraid I'm entering a mixed episode but how can I pull my shit together before I go to work this afternoon? This is going to be rambly, and I apologize, but I'm having a bit of trouble organizing my thoughts right now. I have been up since 2am being jittery and I leave home at 3pm to work from 4-8pm today. I will probably fall asleep at 10-11pm. I need the money because I've been having to call out sick a lot lately (one day because I was feeling too tired and depressed), but now I'm a little scared. I haven't been able to take as much of my meds as before due to some mix-ups for a week or two now. Yesterday I was about to impulsively purchase tickets for a sex party later that evening, but then I snapped out of it and randomly ended up going on a 3-hour bus ride to another city and shoplifted instead. I have energy but none of it is being used productively right now, and I'm forgetting to do basic stuff like laundry, updating my voter registration, etc. I know something is wrong but I don't want to admit it to myself. I'm too embarrassed to admit to my psychiatrist that I haven't been taking optimal care of myself. I can feel my mind starting to split and I've been repressing the urge to yell at people. And then there are moments when I start feeling trapped and paranoid. Sometimes I have thoughts that there is a group of people out there rummaging through my past to ""expose"" me to everyone around me and ruin my life. I am stuck in my current living situation and can never leave because no one wants me to be better, as if I can be better. One moment I want to apply for a PhD program, and the next moment I'm freaking out that I have no skills to accomplish anything in life and that my entire college career was a mistake. I don't want this to happen again. How do I calm down? I am afraid of feeling even worse if I call out sick again.",5.4013469776297,5.152652837696337,6.503284150404571,79.36378867206093,67.7434554973822,9.353831508805332,31.499762018086624,8.97023862654752,2.4843256544502608,1472,54,297,23,22,496,193,382,0.185,0.7170000000000001,0.098,-0.9884,1,1,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,6,19,17,1,5,13,0,37,8,2,3,1,53,69,30,0,8,9,0,4,1,0,1,5,1,1,0,12,19,0,1,9,1,2,7,8,12,0,4,11,5,41,5,52,52,6,53,0,2,0,1,6,18,1,6,29,208,53,7,0.10540274615099912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052396957405912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08673747918626455,0.09383079075426272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19275760722218813,0.0,0.17937994739084198,0.0,0.0,0.18644032701449367,0.11507249972497828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152559771073426,0.0,0.10746512442573283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797605151576587,0.0,0.09078323081169863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335554789724948,0.0,0.11755192391600952,0.1392350395115214,0.0,0.0,0.10071684088273312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131791818084473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17970842893455313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320730032341376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572754840407034,0.0,0.1038004731923658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05792659276463934,0.0,0.1188988886787961,0.22321257843761114,0.0,0.0,0.1488981534719607,0.051494457671021385,0.10564124193826152,0.09307255591915993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960964553970789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170786896255478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10642672666713553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748314621639424,0.07815480071761884,0.08129309570483721,0.0,0.1120970162996716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21427088590928384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006188477704533,0.14614598547535818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136419875785124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18002673860426535,0.0,0.0,0.10552653655488477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819440424583844,0.08719024081803134,0.11847710287566895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114418349930386,0.10424601108457854,0.0,0.14920921246126867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066092695681688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849949514388628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16735601368579614,0.0,0.12114495133023992,0.09990947893152884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029631673714976,0.0,0.0,0.0910341307006737,0.0,0.0,0.2486770822833829,0.0,0.08454772516669279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15346890907715055,0.0,0.10741440313639328,0.0,0.11524135651582355,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Comrade_Soomie,2019/08/04,I always forget that I can still have depressive episodes on medication until it happens It always starts with being tired. You chalk it up to maybe just getting less sleep and having work burnout. Then the lack of motivation and emotional response starts up. You spend the good part of one day on the couch. You really start to feel like crud. Really. What I can only best describe as having a mental cold. You just feel like straight ass. Somehow taking your Adderall makes it worse whereas it usually gives you a small boost each morning. And that’s when you realize what’s wrong. You’re depressed. But how?! You take lithium and lamictal and you’ve felt great for the most part since April! But you know it still happens. It’s never as bad and never as long. But it still happens. I feel like crud. I had a first date today that Im going to reschedule because I’m just not feeling myself. I feel like they will think I’m blowing them off but I would rather that than show up not at my best self for a first impression. Depression sucks yo. But thank god for medication. Most of the time medication is like Moses painting Xs on the doors of the Hebrews so that depression would pass over that house. And depression is the plague. So apt  analogy.,3.0011764705882342,5.648313201680676,3.3438084033613467,88.04530924369749,78.74789915966386,6.497075630252103,24.22588235294117,7.699297019823105,1.3281725714285717,994,35,189,16,25,307,139,238,0.135,0.713,0.152,-0.185,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,9,2,7,12,19,1,0,12,0,12,6,2,3,2,41,36,21,0,4,11,0,6,5,0,3,4,0,2,1,16,9,0,0,10,1,1,2,4,8,0,3,2,7,20,11,25,30,9,33,0,5,0,1,13,11,2,3,25,126,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15633122476233974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07843598315247889,0.0572649572121402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19716848639403944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06058353396678541,0.0,0.4045519579950477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566986549108877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374944541885486,0.2684430431364411,0.0901971398420821,0.0,0.0,0.1598106463426026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04907977716768037,0.09011581598111686,0.05338827163244396,0.0787924221077299,0.0,0.1035691909185008,0.0,0.0,0.24921251760789104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10839415708771744,0.0,0.0,0.10147132927810604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05162697188321872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22947171510027706,0.0,0.0,0.08313395133049553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627056850753125,0.0,0.0943753648514659,0.0,0.0,0.28390402647382434,0.09466943355982947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14490465141997447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636561808907436,0.07144560950099332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20345574945997905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12036074972826467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799991633481896,0.0,0.0,0.07770814571285098,0.0,0.09400785076887727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19947366439505504,0.0,0.22506183621024844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14126239070447988,0.0,0.0,0.08648733851336944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060192964263134335,0.0,0.0,0.05477717435422698,0.1079702205433028,0.08904414386364069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346164752829656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683894449485979,0.0,0.09573289409765656,0.13346457341964585,0.10270865225579526,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,that_guy_95,2019/08/04,"Someone has been tracking me I was diagnosed in February, and recently I've been seeing adds related to bipolar stuff, like news articles and self help websites. I know it's silly, but it kind of upsets me. And I put so much effort into keeping my info safe. Has anyone else had this problem?",5.082857142857144,6.445201571428572,6.516428571428572,73.27857142857144,69.0,9.171428571428573,33.64285714285714,9.516144504307137,3.5222285714285704,232,11,38,5,4,79,47,56,0.128,0.733,0.138,-0.335,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,1,6,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,0,12,9,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,5,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,4,1,6,4,4,5,1,4,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,26,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19155437747480664,0.28069732556361204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780566301634535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288526624283551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836249884650176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435021029543882,0.0,0.28527999695066864,0.15055745944666205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383964691369374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013870501873492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621361188376559,0.0,0.27539853218168725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704956366236667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21830515213237248,0.0,0.2857928305911691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321195728948259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31361075716828785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Jack453376,2019/08/04,"To lithium or not to lithium I need some advice regarding managing lithium side effects. 

I was originally on lithium and lamictal, the combo was great. However, the lithium gave me muscle spasm and I had to reduce my dose, from 900 to 600. At the time I believed that the lithium wasnt doing much, so I asked my psychiatrist to discontinue it and increased my lamictal. 

Now I've noticed quite the difference without the lithium and I think I was to quick to judge. Although there were very difficult to tolerate side effects over lithium was great. My mood felt great and I also felt really sharp mentally at 900mg. My anxiety seemed also much less.

I'm thinking of going back on it but with extended release. Anyone had positive experiences with ER. Also, I feel te lamictal is making me really stupid.  I have a hard time focusing on simple tasks. I'm a philosophy student so I need my mind to do my work. Should i just discontinue the Lamictal once I'm back on the lithium (of course with titration period). 

What's your opinion?",3.733558767384782,6.3596056010362725,5.490749931824379,73.7889855467685,75.89119170984455,9.037251158985546,31.919552767930185,9.549672527348893,3.747855958549224,823,42,136,24,19,280,110,193,0.055,0.87,0.075,0.5884,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,4,11,6,1,0,10,0,13,1,0,4,0,29,28,13,0,3,5,0,5,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,8,0,0,2,3,2,1,0,11,5,22,3,23,16,5,19,0,0,0,0,3,9,0,4,8,96,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405106871351981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449683071263456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999955398153828,0.0,0.0,0.10054185745892734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344249700153896,0.0,0.0,0.2211324700069124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620029704559475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15023076195917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406549752197128,0.0,0.0,0.07270493936212259,0.0,0.2761233985552017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171961456842575,0.0,0.0,0.4755895314213683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12880829649275108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598146294905724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14490728741289852,0.0,0.14518769878375945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21140553780007787,0.21323808446320225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163706757340151,0.0,0.1531324890657711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529391952746233,0.0,0.0,0.1842321127133721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130901726724513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18427065304452106,0.0,0.0,0.16769112160786273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11864245341003378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13860918181043064,0.0,0.10468140119283637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ChoonieShlop,2019/08/04,"Brintellix Dreams My psych recently started me on a low dosage of Brintellix, alongside my Seroquel and Epilim Chrono. And ever since, I've been having a lot of just very odd dreams that I usually actually remember when I wake up. They're sometimes good, sometimes nightmares, but I generally enjoy them regardless because they're so interesting.
I'm just curious if anyone else has experienced this with Brintellix and what did you think of the dreams?",8.589113924050636,9.93955449367089,8.346683544303797,63.362556962025316,61.02531645569621,12.395949367088607,39.85063291139241,11.979248473330829,5.548785316455698,371,19,55,12,5,119,61,79,0.039,0.7090000000000001,0.253,0.9607,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,1,0,5,4,0,0,3,0,4,1,1,0,1,14,7,7,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,8,3,6,5,1,8,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,2,5,35,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.24814405017750635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778009606737519,0.2605435323467201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15500888329778614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21242126527679586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300140162103155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21328096549520756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161827689395856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510743146868124,0.0,0.2880536765388167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103459685732034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5029858379963051,0.0,0.17998319548579442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16293462227251862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800573898640835,0.20981054782693204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BipolarWitch,2019/08/04,"Consistently restless Mania for me feels completely restless, I can’t stop moving and want to burst out of my own skin. My mind wants to do 100 different things but it can’t agree with my body so I end up doing nothing but rocking back and forth instead. I’ve been feeling this way consistently for almost 3 months now. Is this mania or a side effect of my medications? I feel like this is going to last for the rest of my life and that it’s going to be the death of me",2.6955927835051554,4.3085396288659785,4.223286082474228,86.37967139175258,75.3917525773196,6.911855670103092,23.465206185567013,7.645422480735847,0.9910628865979384,372,11,78,5,8,124,67,97,0.102,0.8029999999999999,0.094,-0.1979,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,2,3,0,8,4,2,1,0,17,15,7,1,2,3,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,4,1,0,3,2,2,0,0,1,4,10,1,14,13,2,13,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,7,54,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285733039052047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17552083439547309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25354971308639884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23933033604686066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23848717187590734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20217404602046435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3462512299829997,0.1630717620051938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594552475279308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18606552877201174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16122952952691785,0.11151820207234482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299518452606453,0.0,0.0,0.230481448822848,0.0,0.18219805183691815,0.2426083807726473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190253498745683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19083882527307525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15164837956249635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692719019395136,0.1811852437170588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sno-whyte,2019/08/04,"Have you ever been sucked into a MLM/Pyramid scheme, and do you feel that your bipolar made you an easy target?   I'm wondering how many others here with bipolar have been through this. Its bad enough getting sucked in to these situations but when you add bipolar on top it, especially while in a manic/hypomanic state, its a recipe for disaster in my experience. 

  At one point I joined a pyramid scheme (MLM) and heavily advertised myself on Facebook. I made a Facebook buisness page, took a weird stock photo looking selfie as a ""professional head shot"". I had this delusional idea of being successful in my head.  I threw awkward parties with ""friends"" I hadnt seen since highschool and literally nobody bought anything at one of them. Ended up losing a lot of money from this. I cried in front of everyone. Ugh.

 Theres so much more to the story but I dont even want to think about all the other humiliating parts. I'm working so hard on forgiving myself for these things!! And man, is there a shit ton to forgive.",5.28645112781955,6.900134336842108,5.8502255639097775,77.29157894736842,68.78947368421052,8.586466165413531,30.939849624060148,9.04235418022936,2.7133533834586467,804,33,143,15,14,260,127,190,0.188,0.716,0.096,-0.9522,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,5,1,4,10,12,3,1,12,0,10,6,3,3,2,23,26,12,0,1,2,0,2,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,12,8,0,0,6,0,2,3,2,8,0,2,10,4,17,4,28,15,8,22,0,1,2,0,10,14,3,2,4,104,29,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13866217456164864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406915085413175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18509071498524404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19748221441000088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492420969605105,0.17410683830123636,0.0,0.11129348889875253,0.1524190308546922,0.0,0.16101016887738734,0.0,0.16482655897874882,0.0,0.0,0.08519929676926025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301836506267841,0.0,0.08803495042790745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15094402630017364,0.0,0.34586179782769305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19021740538946266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414986149867414,0.1885098019440453,0.0,0.14325374023784276,0.0,0.31887992089042816,0.0,0.17083382393897256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12386780947566185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283616207139915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18247043743483787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592881491693014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17296411549974774,0.13938597830840088,0.18940246908980887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119447456884723,0.10796879959152196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872110928310484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938640515195064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18273242186044628,0.12267091953723455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,illmomforthewin,2019/08/04,"The ones who truly care. 
Everyone in the house, 3 adults and a 2 year old, pitch in and cleaned house....it was nice and for a second I wasnt depressed or upset or sick. I was just grooving along and the music was nice and they new how to make me feel better. It was nice to just be productive and have a little fun. And I cant ever Express how grateful I am to have a s/o like i do. Could you imagine.....2 bipolar depressed individuals making a life together and having to work on everything for someone that's exactly like you in different ways. I couldnt ask for a better keystone. And I cant wait to see our now toddler and our soon to be newborn grow up in a healthy life. Today ladies and gentalment was a good day.",2.404,3.7836573333333336,4.2316666666666665,86.98750000000004,75.66666666666666,7.133333333333333,26.5,7.793537801064563,1.4468,560,21,120,8,12,190,89,150,0.021,0.693,0.28600000000000003,0.9892,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,2,2,1,3,7,13,0,1,11,0,17,4,0,4,2,26,24,15,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,1,2,3,12,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,3,0,2,6,2,13,10,16,14,0,17,0,2,1,0,10,7,0,2,10,82,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797801076570657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401579775893585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19606873669130767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354065624461088,0.0,0.0,0.12402143129858086,0.0,0.3312656728984896,0.0,0.0,0.20091879176413827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17395174517726214,0.0,0.18375658020164493,0.17283219155593255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723566852368584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612971103772194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218952515017049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716627650404984,0.1879019508164,0.19274108656199487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25673143523987657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857302887721712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017927494499232,0.0,0.13031149139301834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532429474556049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16294021082457302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822835587105225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15264351523303027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14000102491364547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12383872942078852
bipolarreddit,fitemillk,2019/08/04,"Latuda with no appetite/nausea + withdrawal I’ve been taking Latuda since the end of 2017. Since then, my gastrointestinal issues (of which at least one is undiagnosed currently) have gotten worse, and it’s been getting harder and harder to take it. 

My appetite is so bad now that I cannot eat more than 800-1000 calories a day — and that’s on a good day. It’s nearly impossible to eat 300+ calories in a single sitting without getting nauseous or full. This has been very troublesome for taking it. Even when I can make the food requirement, I still vomit. 

Unfortunately, nothing else works for me. Everything else gives me excruciating akathesia and weird mood swings. I’m currently in withdrawal because of the appetite/nausea and i am NOT LIKING THIS. 

Is there anything I can do to increase my appetite enough to take this? I’m about to just start taking it again and deal with the vomiting, but that physically hurts",6.1833921568627455,7.739915005882352,6.3855882352941205,74.51348039215691,66.58823529411765,8.960784313725489,31.81372549019608,9.2995712137729,2.971607843137255,741,30,125,14,12,237,105,170,0.125,0.84,0.035,-0.9293,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,9,6,0,0,7,0,13,5,0,1,0,15,26,11,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,12,8,3,1,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,4,0,10,2,20,22,6,19,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,1,12,87,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237602229922576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255714655076988,0.0916778793399602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19398145698143804,0.1550480760195832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077781703388948,0.2512672914348503,0.0,0.13320312664974918,0.15539566720885384,0.0,0.09933283570114664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516309229894538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818552223132909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15714776045468978,0.14427020129489276,0.0,0.12614210362780612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16099829444319344,0.0,0.0,0.15697070918560446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734741846779446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10038816948675393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14430567124275992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10190985822839428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24881247985581245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644859396392277,0.0,0.1201036542451643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.565382261716511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12408957266646625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14497301466837534,0.0,0.10948753980375292,0.0,0.15326281798198052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ManicPineapple,2019/08/04,"Hypomania, patience, and relationships Advice?? I've been with my SO for almost 2 years. In essence, he grounds me. When I'm more hypomanic, he talks me out of a lot of impulsiveness, handles the mood swings and irritability, and keeps up with the heightened sex drive. 

That being said, I pretty much lose my patience and am a ticking time bomb when hypomanic. How do you handle the heightened emotions and narcissism?  I'm tired of hurting my SO and then coming around and realizing I was a jerk :/",5.462747252747255,7.381067802197805,6.207472527472527,73.7125274725275,68.78021978021978,8.716483516483517,32.78021978021978,9.23628265651192,3.0857428571428573,394,18,69,8,7,129,64,91,0.19699999999999998,0.77,0.033,-0.9329999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,1,6,4,1,0,6,0,5,2,0,1,0,17,10,13,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,12,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,3,1,8,0,10,6,3,12,0,2,0,1,6,5,0,2,5,46,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521195555669612,0.0,0.0,0.2583547957347565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296792008919148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222485111926343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29022096248421586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27619974960180416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22932674919136856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28864166353640824,0.0,0.21934667303049268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896634032657807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624838973622713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770008754163468,0.0,0.0,0.2454218916779628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20737469168049916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15044482350164542,0.29653885883249204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661467976172437
bipolarreddit,ChefHelvetica,2019/08/04,"Anxious to the point of not being able to function Whenever I'm in a stressful situation, usually at work it's like all common sense and my ability to think clearly go out the window and I end up doing something wrong and I make myself look like an idiot while my coworkers and customers get a cheap laugh out of it. I've been at the same place for almost 2 and a half years and I still feel the same way as I did my first day and even if I did get better, everyone's still going to see me as the idiot from before and if I quit and worked somewhere else it'd be the same situation and I just feel so fucking hopeless, I'm sorry that this post doesn't really have a point I guess I'm just looking for someone who can relate",3.2255258467023147,4.169485183006536,4.8737611408199655,84.89374331550802,72.98692810457516,7.655139631610218,25.673796791443852,8.00094639256281,1.40216862745098,575,18,121,8,11,195,98,153,0.129,0.765,0.106,-0.5625,0,0,1,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,0,5,6,10,3,1,11,0,10,1,0,1,2,28,26,16,0,2,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,12,0,0,3,0,1,2,2,6,0,2,3,5,13,4,17,20,4,22,0,1,3,1,1,9,1,4,11,82,19,2,0.151312900892035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15151801314012395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709405085031076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287561339373682,0.0,0.0,0.13382396452654124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758430327139488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640251264793145,0.0,0.13401831814193424,0.0,0.0,0.09994074397323333,0.0,0.0,0.14458596117425154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530166982699669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12870667620053372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13988633865108474,0.15810949101282787,0.0,0.17198921716822585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16668821949986273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14784768053200276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541294552428313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100253630936476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580897761228971,0.0,0.2860791999895294,0.0,0.14491593230550873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16093989557180313,0.0,0.0,0.0969349188997026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205767914636323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401640807293444,0.0,0.0,0.1282069298968984,0.11648806358617708,0.0,0.16938240437897606,0.0,0.0,0.2416773562224428,0.0,0.17332841673889887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969551971444628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166649783006958,0.0,0.0,0.12010513769229708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22031518795470675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16543690362831395,0.0,0.09744054718614366
bipolarreddit,edgy_emo_fgt,2019/04/11,"How do you live with yourself? A'ight, the title is a bit harsh but it's a question I've been asking myself that for the last month or two. 

I'm 23 and got diagnosed January 2018, and that's when I started on my medication.

I got the diagnosis after a massive manic episode, and in that manic state I actually thought I had finally found joy in life, and an end to my depression for good. A conclusion to my struggles ect ect. 

But that conclusion was ripped apart as I got the diagnosis. My so called happiness was taken away from me. (but being manic was of course very bad for my health since I hardly ever ate and I did reckless shit. You know classic mania 101)

When I started on the meds I kept telling myself that one day I'll be stable and then I will find a new and better conclusion/happiness. But it's been a year and I'm loosing my patience because I simply don't feel better than what I did before my manic episode, before the aggressive depression that lasted a year, even before there even was a build-up to that depression.

(I'm starting to tear up as I write this)

I can't live with my own thoughts. They always focus on the pessimistic side of things. And even in bright times they seem to spiral down into some negative memory that involves either depression or mania. (all my memories of the mania has turned negative because it's now clear to me how much of an asshole I was, and all the bad/irresponsible shit I did that had consequences on behalf of my friends and people I knew). And these spiraling thoughts always come out of nowhere. 

Whenever I take my meds I get reminded of the fact that I will be taking them for the rest of my life. That I'll never be ""Normal"" and that I might not get to a state where I can call myself happy. 

... Yeah back to the question... How do you guys live with this? How do you cope with the fact that we're not normal? Just... How?",3.2197470967741917,4.974805736,4.483475268817205,84.46397419354841,74.30666666666667,7.612043010752687,25.43010752688172,8.360895534625662,1.6548339784946235,1481,50,294,26,31,488,185,375,0.147,0.745,0.10800000000000001,-0.9586,0,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,0,4,3,4,17,17,3,1,24,1,27,8,2,5,7,61,54,30,0,2,10,0,2,0,1,3,5,0,0,1,21,20,1,1,13,0,0,1,7,9,0,2,23,3,46,8,41,24,8,39,0,4,1,0,17,15,2,7,21,210,67,0,0.0,0.0,0.08675334917960541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14794345642093004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310928206935747,0.0,0.08352425801119971,0.06835843378798669,0.14845518511087616,0.10838494631689972,0.0,0.22694146321404,0.0,0.0,0.1572492400635466,0.09705552132269547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815532045094216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657927801780992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057332995573128966,0.0,0.306276958086292,0.09023139273414804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07873880719710008,0.0,0.0,0.17615237409208062,0.08041492935342498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044950393610580015,0.0,0.0,0.09738534996072756,0.08125277698228818,0.0,0.0,0.0974740065270108,0.06868373988090824,0.0,0.0928929186807582,0.0,0.0,0.07456490719698243,0.2133037957654268,0.0,0.0,0.08802474667243808,0.0,0.2839063669126767,0.0796367300276422,0.0,0.0,0.09449629576123283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0488569873137047,0.1449303516883958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255850697929261,0.0,0.0,0.2355003703880345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974952014520122,0.08955716307306137,0.0,0.09430860465291382,0.0,0.0,0.07095894630224799,0.0,0.06535155808492803,0.0,0.06856498122857861,0.08585994946578804,0.0,0.0,0.17420579397511618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06024078323348011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0616319052920124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19917617063901707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093100953244031,0.0,0.0,0.1825086677246993,0.07353880637919714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18877113910171464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09293733924838596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336831229645631,0.0,0.07770231525138506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059061055338999364,0.0,0.0,0.21172945569423504,0.05183816936927437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669741887955448,0.08684215525134266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733516185625799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144970712129691
bipolarreddit,gotja,2019/04/11,"Agitated It's hard with these things to know what's going on.

Is it Spring unsettling me, a bit revved up?

I'm glad I didn't have coffee today, had a bit of tea but not much, I don't think it's caffeine.

Ate some carbs and that can rev me up temporarily, I can be like a hyperactive kid on sugar.

Or is this some trauma/cptsd thing? I do feel like I might be in a flashback. I'm on edge, I feel the other shoe is going to drop and noises startle me. I still don't know where this is coming from,I do know at least that I get flashbacks from like 40 years ago to my childhood. It seems insane, but a year or so ago I was freaking out and melting down and realized a neighbor walked just like my mother when she was pissed and about to rage at me. 

It's weird because I grew up. I remember breaking free, the day I moved out and she tried to stop me and I realized she couldn't. Kinda like when Toto pulls back the curtain and Dorothy sees a little old man and not the fearsome wizard anymore. I was free of her, mostly. I was still interacting with her, and the walking wounded.

Later I realized she couldn't negoatiate boundaries at all, every goddamn time she'd seemingly accept at first *something*, even though she still pushed over them, it was at least a step back. Maybe this time she wouldn't invade me. And then she'd worm her way around them and I'd feel myself falling apart and going crazy because she'd make everything seem like *I* was overreacting or wrong. So I cut contact completely. There was no other way to stop it. And even so she tried to create drama and emergencies like I must be in a cult and have to be rescued, fortunately everyone had the common sense to be like, WTF lady, or maybe they were burned out on it too. Of course it couldn't have anything to do with her behavior or her lack of boundaries that had been discussed many times.

So yeah, that's in the past. It could still be affecting me in some way. I have been in therapy 3 years now for cptsd. It took a year and a half to come out of crisis, and progress has been really slow. I'm struggling with this IFS stuff, I don't do homework, or practice enough on my own. I'm mostly focused on self care and managing my emotions and hypervigilance and unexplained fatigue, am without meds now. It's hard just to get through a day, let alone practice stuff for therapy.",3.1599433710859444,4.738791267932491,4.111867643793026,87.79952698201203,74.084388185654,7.099178325560738,25.131912058627574,7.7627490962704995,1.2031316455696204,1847,60,387,25,38,596,226,474,0.155,0.721,0.124,-0.9447,0,1,1,0,0,0,55.0,0,0,3,2,25,22,3,2,19,1,51,7,2,2,2,81,77,38,0,8,14,1,5,8,1,3,2,0,3,3,28,32,3,2,15,1,2,14,12,9,0,2,17,7,51,15,53,43,14,81,0,1,1,0,26,29,1,18,41,269,79,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15419998218212794,0.0,0.0,0.09008209122616263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625795632711082,0.0,0.0,0.07157477935479226,0.07742809922455697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13376011136434685,0.0,0.10604092052877803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899130307887477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867899599190993,0.0,0.0,0.14984621777077176,0.09119388166297453,0.0,0.0,0.0694441728420373,0.0,0.0,0.11218612609671964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783758125686397,0.0,0.08987064118218542,0.0,0.11489516786730715,0.0,0.07328199590771434,0.08311038931639718,0.07816944955580482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13193477356145314,0.062136489725910175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398271505595361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088393676656377,0.0,0.14829334758006066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15582887563263434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434010926349538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08894002358575842,0.0,0.3399411170696509,0.08717394894841107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05805791963784202,0.08818117336917386,0.17476046523557168,0.0,0.0966120004375663,0.0,0.0,0.09226900589994813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244294029777622,0.06393820925143677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126788248674196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08302952651688399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055719786227366896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985281500389702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693095235504035,0.23754217836813604,0.0907361311856907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06695925549571613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778402412167496,0.1454335755016559,0.0,0.0909273966569058,0.19913604371952934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19893189075061227,0.0,0.11556750062387705,0.0557314424960875,0.08545460329910351,0.0,0.15215121800325482,0.0,0.08244416343504771,0.0,0.09663480833552347,0.11810354417268655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20711522760794693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384286393809398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950958540938691,0.0,0.2240417187415108
bipolarreddit,Paranoiadestroyer,2019/04/11,"My new subreddit (mostly) for people experiencing mental health issues in the UK! Hello all! I'd like to introduce [My brand new subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/MentalHealthUK/). As someone from the UK who has dealt with mental health issues for years, I've noticed a lack of active UK spaces and would like to try and change that if there is the demand for it. Anyone is welcome to participate but I would prefer it if people who are not from the UK only talk about their specific healthcare processes/systems if relevant to a comments discussion rather than promoting it - just so we dont get swamped out due to uneven population. I'm hoping it can be a sub where people can either ask questions, give support, vent or promote their own blogs or work if related to mental health/therapy. My inbox is always open too! Thanks for reading if you got this far 🙂",8.14222222222222,8.531749662420385,7.973842887473463,68.96455767869783,61.92993630573248,10.544656758669495,33.36801132342533,10.25414643259724,3.4997365888181173,695,25,112,14,9,223,111,157,0.018000000000000002,0.8220000000000001,0.16,0.9722,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,1,1,2,3,7,6,0,0,7,0,11,2,0,0,1,26,19,12,0,11,12,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,8,6,19,15,5,10,0,0,0,0,14,6,0,10,6,75,16,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494000995256705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658772832402407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913827943864664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461293075163747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618940703994033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217022811276448,0.1325123986139012,0.0,0.0,0.11047977833928704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4404955286852507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13719996835530984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883556687329018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13497230003823188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4176250388409417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26682473655464545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572684671082079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505846262761012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872978087319062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547436540243224,0.0,0.13817313165004105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704197283824865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15675481229235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102828348477356,0.0,0.1271768396187027,0.15797026895139032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378510688595704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056447130114242,0.0,0.0,0.1962553472025856,0.0,0.0,0.08895489414087136
bipolarreddit,cozykayles,2019/04/11,sometimes I can’t talk right i don’t know if this is a common symptom with other people but I swear sometimes I feel like I mix up my words and I can’t talk right with my medication. does anyone else experience this?,1.1773333333333331,3.5164809555555583,3.1288888888888917,88.66000000000004,83.8888888888889,5.377777777777778,20.11111111111111,6.742157984588678,0.3149111111111109,173,5,36,2,5,58,31,45,0.035,0.879,0.087,0.4497,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,0,8,6,3,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,8,1,3,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,22,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16832462982396582,0.24665723666005146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21066521691697346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20109976182897865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354809950316372,0.0,0.0,0.12172076699003262,0.17197819005578238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229939697895549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176089490592861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425110372368061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16689248259296835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4111657154461784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.476177995139056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25021156039503323,0.0,0.3869807281287186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,doublybiguy,2019/04/11,"Riding the wave. All aboard the hypomania train toot toot Went to therapy today, was told I’m hypomanic right now. I think it’s probably and exaggeration, but holy crap I feel so good right now. How can I be hypomanic if I felt like shit literally two days ago I don’t understand. I’m also on abilify and an SNRI , but I may or may not have forgotten to take my meds a couple days ago I should really get a pill case thing. Like 90% sure I took it.

Anyone else go from feeling like shit to hypomania in 2 days flat?",-0.03421383647798848,2.3113743207547195,3.084867924528304,85.53214465408806,93.52830188679243,7.35496855345912,18.3874213836478,8.238735603445708,1.2506976100628928,402,12,88,12,15,143,77,106,0.115,0.696,0.18899999999999997,0.6797,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,5,8,3,0,5,0,8,4,3,1,2,18,21,9,0,2,5,0,3,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,5,0,0,4,2,3,0,1,5,3,9,5,6,12,1,16,0,0,0,0,1,4,3,4,11,45,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939144574319686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257714828807446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115919803096074,0.1698649706567419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834364876789674,0.0,0.3207502742526265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13849099099912907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16765041880019327,0.1184358934811516,0.15917833029797318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661512986582533,0.0,0.0942186853244559,0.1390514844838791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429805946678084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18414829423576629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787428457994862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10620526997142496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831567122661886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3403491284613509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562491555916881,0.0,0.12464869465710085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895880852529,0.0,0.11013930988175023,0.1062274875219604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15714354321924862,0.15841340989285616,0.18419176746357332,0.0,0.0,0.16194656517948944,0.17258665662871486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15368313145034695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,funferret7,2019/04/11,"Does exercising help? Hey, I know that exercising can be helpful for people with depression, anxiety and other mental health problems. Has anyone here been able to maintain a workout routine and has it helped with your bipolar at all? If so what kinds of exercise have helped the most? Cardio? Lifting? Thanks!",4.4838274932614555,7.915647679245282,4.50625336927224,76.24056603773586,81.64150943396227,6.8021563342318085,30.21293800539083,7.957251820313856,2.931886253369272,249,12,36,5,7,77,48,53,0.129,0.7140000000000001,0.157,0.4245,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,6,6,0,0,1,9,8,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,2,6,6,2,1,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,2,0,27,6,0,0.2458412796420961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18806790602903053,0.0,0.0,0.17189793882021798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21174273392098147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21513736050994664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613177842030374,0.0,0.0,0.6591289105293195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560058616718778,0.13510793798640067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477501873931654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17043538899995098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352369030274507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263376204768538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,peachpearl1994,2019/04/11,"Latuda Anger Has anyone experience severe bouts of explosive anger when starting Latuda? My spouse was on Latuda a few years back. It worked amazing like a miracle drug but our insurance wouldn't cover it after the office ran out of samples. We have different insurance now so its covered but it doesn't seem to be working like it did last time. Also, we are on week two of taking it every night. She doesn't sleep and gets super angry a few times a day.",2.8876388888888904,5.427609556818184,4.180151515151515,82.50828282828284,78.43181818181819,6.638383838383841,22.277777777777786,7.793537801064563,1.3222308080808085,363,11,64,6,9,119,67,88,0.11199999999999999,0.7340000000000001,0.154,0.6369,1,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,3,0,0,3,5,6,2,0,5,0,9,2,1,0,0,8,14,6,0,1,2,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,3,1,5,4,8,9,2,16,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,14,44,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850443746159246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16179490769333155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17792643023022836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922891984873202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24175575106927316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683416578752777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19495803044735274,0.0,0.0,0.2263461140209977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12089294984285355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18861564461750155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22609322327762724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171460407403236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106509003072903,0.0,0.26140748652339185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23155945368309985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16378069268932746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17397824623136324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26985347423702605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260366983435207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18560898170684026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3369127659118993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14900908361888202
bipolarreddit,InterpreterCarli,2019/04/11,"I started Lithium yesterday. . Ive had appointments every single week since Feb. They tried Valproic acid and that sent me into a severe depression. We switched to Lamictol, and Tuesday I saw the med doc for the first time. Added lithium to the lamictol, upped seroquel, wants me off the antidepressant later, to add more later. He said if i didn't like the lithium after 3 days to stop taking it, and he sees me next week.

I was completely off meds last year (age 25) after taking the wrong stuff for the last 10 years after being misdiagnosed. It was full blown crazy. Trying meds and going to 3 different appointments a week, it has really effected my budget and my partner who has his own untreated stuff. It feels like being ""responsible and getting help"" has only made things harder.

I guess I am just trying to get this out, and if you can share your experiences with the meds or how you communicate in your different states to your partner without being mania mad or so depressed you dissociate-that would be even better.",6.879920634920634,7.831103195767199,7.097473544973546,72.22970238095238,64.66137566137566,10.109523809523813,31.62301587301588,10.125756701596842,3.2896698412698413,820,30,137,18,12,265,123,189,0.11,0.825,0.064,-0.8436,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,6,1,3,4,8,1,0,10,0,15,0,0,3,0,26,29,13,0,4,6,0,1,2,2,1,0,1,0,2,10,12,0,1,2,0,1,2,2,4,0,1,8,5,21,4,20,16,4,31,0,2,2,0,18,7,0,5,23,95,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10553474502121564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12511174603775613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695583224017499,0.0,0.20555177668552324,0.0,0.0,0.24934195116125235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881414191965554,0.0,0.10053786826433887,0.0,0.0,0.11672438289087722,0.0,0.0,0.060335151080905626,0.08524699881726856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149920683793202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12468652291468794,0.0,0.06781609797790494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145178298367885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799821534104303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19453432913366014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11659396971331325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290978290405827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5301801323740308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12690527014474967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09075331165180674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644372206372213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11350699126785617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508790886304204,0.0,0.0,0.13480517516049606,0.0,0.09870825674269497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08446003310588616,0.0,0.0,0.09976244146932453,0.0,0.0,0.2732009831632889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794376149608565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927533911599655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958034244925017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430449338580679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07038196320412075,0.0,0.2871499774905596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11502665429757525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476624463438975,0.13046498437916798,0.0,0.15368492987633625
bipolarreddit,athendite12,2019/04/11,Anxiety strikes back I woke up okay and then went straight to a panic attack. Now I'm going to my Dad's at almost 30 years old to try to get some relief.,-1.406470588235294,0.6005407058823522,1.2914117647058845,97.9153529411765,97.8235294117647,3.896470588235295,15.623529411764707,5.6839178017228535,-0.7174517647058827,120,3,28,1,5,41,30,34,0.262,0.568,0.17,-0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,2,2,6,3,1,10,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,5,14,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3479514981386224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658216091291049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39530919953816224,0.0,0.2671910334190837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181544204308471,0.0,0.1974811592930188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3646223016842379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40769346373051096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359164305119417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32211787776578354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237660306534698
bipolarreddit,ssnakeggirl,2019/04/11,"I didn't feel ""numb"" before but on a lower dose I definitely feel much more emotional I'm listening to some music right now to help me slow down a bit and work more carefully (on lunch break rn). To be fair, I chose a playlist of songs that I knew if feel an emotional connection to, but I didn't expect to feel this *much* of a connection. My heart aches. What is this.

I took a higher dose of saphris because at the time that's what I needed to do to be stable. I'm glad I did it. But I'm also glad that I've been able to safely & slowly reduce dose. It's like moving from surviving to living.",1.0327690288713924,2.8395397244094513,3.217814960629924,90.84252296587928,80.88976377952756,6.753018372703411,19.24475065616798,7.793537801064563,0.5332734908136483,463,11,105,8,12,158,77,127,0.039,0.68,0.281,0.9858,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,2,6,0,0,7,0,8,6,1,0,0,14,20,6,0,3,4,0,4,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,9,1,1,1,5,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,6,6,10,5,17,12,6,11,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,4,63,19,1,0.2006466865739235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604570827615154,0.0,0.21740060107354592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231235780025017,0.0,0.1707355519476472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21905421470251468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045726693627832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4514010321799493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4058119739605999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23776728966622904,0.13448924455986902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980258360044034,0.0,0.1771747002624811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21325567400634232,0.29499680267097056,0.14877697570963025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171351174019261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699869649916565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229258515326725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14607317751631987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Yas-Qween,2019/04/11,"It's my cake day and I just want to send love to the kind and wonderful people of this sub. Hang in there, everyone. I grew up with a toxic family, was depressed on and off since I was a kid, life-long ED, trauma, bipolar 2, med-induced psychosis, MASSIVE episode that lasted 2 years... now I've been stable for over a year and it is like nothing I ever dreamed of. It took me 3 years to get my meds right and 2 rounds of DBT (plus I've been in therapy for 5 years and counting) to learn how to regulate my emotions and cope in general. It's a long haul but it's possible.

I'm not cured and I'm still dealing with some shit. I probably always will be. But I think I can actually do this. I think a good life is actually be possible for me.

Not to be nauseatingly positive (I know that can be hard to palate) but... I think a good life is possible for you folks too. I'm sorry you (we) all have to deal with this nightmare of a disorder. Hang in there. I'm rooting for you.",1.0815661103979473,2.8251992926829312,3.468626444159181,89.41148908857511,80.46341463414635,7.242618741976894,23.9602053915276,8.20500826718156,1.325439024390244,745,27,171,15,19,258,114,205,0.078,0.8,0.122,0.8271,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,1,3,0,0,8,8,1,0,8,0,16,5,1,2,2,32,29,13,0,1,6,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,10,13,0,0,6,1,0,5,2,3,0,0,5,2,19,5,29,19,2,24,0,1,1,1,9,9,1,2,11,105,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.2376995547677773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10133929714130342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854467666154076,0.2511209305767299,0.10489781844332467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13958225053839401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13699771001170707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11016631106897357,0.0,0.11637586363296422,0.0,0.0,0.1148130683836492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363041202531011,0.0,0.0,0.2043038731026888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091001987228312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682586977508808,0.06693277113555336,0.0992753605320398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25807230029924144,0.059500595245572524,0.0,0.0,0.21556118962719892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099205128265107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705631649835591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686109038013635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443406845925645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4119008369769268,0.0,0.0,0.13131055674010222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10400826216586127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12501600649908925,0.1007462057649199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13633428469638806,0.0,0.0,0.09726190157916592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927783746810982,0.0,0.0,0.2341149453879453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13531351939935815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183508230304278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320763996213607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31371587502855
bipolarreddit,Chairo777,2019/04/11,"More sleep = more depression? We all know that less sleep while manic worsens mania, but does more sleep while depressed worsen the depression? I’ve been severely depressed for the past month after being manic for most of January and February. This past week it seemed like I was coming out of it, like I was finally eating healthy again and taking care of hygiene and not wanting to die 24/7. Then today and yesterday my classes were canceled, so I stayed in my dorm all day taking a bunch of sleeping meds and such so that I didn’t have to be conscious. It’s now the middle of the night and I feel like shit, i feel 100 times more depressed that I’ve been feeling, and I feel like I was so close to this episode ending but now I’m way worse. Idk how to explain it but I feel so existential and horrible and hopeless. Did I fuck myself over?",4.468534136546187,5.756864427710844,4.874879518072291,84.7507931726908,70.3855421686747,7.702008032128515,28.29116465863454,8.07648339933343,1.8013670682730925,669,24,130,9,12,212,98,166,0.276,0.598,0.126,-0.9889,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,1,0,0,0,9,13,2,0,5,0,11,7,5,1,2,31,26,20,1,1,4,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,9,13,1,0,9,0,0,1,2,8,0,0,8,5,14,5,15,16,9,26,0,6,0,1,2,5,2,2,22,88,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202400461835802,0.0,0.0,0.10158840852706616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07605670786043367,0.0,0.5078754583789162,0.0,0.1223953185513515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320352775287604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067439203492562,0.0,0.0,0.10445319307675628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29815108393304623,0.16850200683396538,0.0,0.1291892920962358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090266983088659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648126192241198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23046345506596397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13099642440201756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09413259842860394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067166471738654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22515983613305024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073613211262887,0.0,0.13323015977863625,0.12105601917685445,0.0,0.0,0.4720706881467597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257003563461391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17734113013888197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876739065046228,0.0,0.11178622297326336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955964555555863,0.09360933125274364,0.0945983400017867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018329539856723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,myBisL2,2019/04/11,"Psychiatric drugs in minors So this is not strictly about bipolar but it touches on some of the same issues and I was curious as to what others thought in this community.

I am not a doctor, do not consider myself any type of expert, but I have suffered psychiatrically for a long time and have spent a good deal of time invested in researching depression and bipolar, the drugs, etc.  And one thing I am is a proud aunt.

This stems from a situation with my nephew.  He is almost 13.  He's a fantastic kid and has just entered middle school.  He was always a pretty popular kid due to being just genuinely kind and friendly, but he had a bit of a rough go in 6th grade and he's in middle school now, and yeah, its rough.  Middle school kids are mean.  It's a rough age.  But he's still got a healthy friend group and he just made the honor roll.

Apparently he is struggling with some anxiety, which to me sounds like a normal part of growing up and being that age.  My sister took him to a psychiatrist, which I think is great (I could have used some counseling at that age, for sure).  But you know, he's successful.  The anxiety isn't impacting his school work, he has hobbies, he has friends, all the things that make for a healthy psyche.

But for some reason my sister seemed really keen on getting him medication.  Not that my opinion was asked, and I'm not his parent or with him 24/7, but to me, if you are experiencing hardships and they are not negatively impacting you to a point where it's actually interfering with life, especially at this notoriously hard part of growing up, then meds aren't... a given.  We learn by going through tough things.  We develop coping skills and its necessary because those are the going to be a foundation for the rest of your life.  

Well I guess my sister's pushing finally led to the doctor prescribing him prozac.  I am not keen on this.  I don't think it's good to potentially deprive him of the coping skills he needs to learn for the future, and honestly at such a young age, it seems like a generally bad idea to screw with brain chemistry.  I know it's been considered safe for over the age of 8, but really, we don't understand the brain.  On top of that, the doctor apparently gave instructions to *never* stop taking the drug unless it caused him to be manic.  Specifically saying even if it caused suicidal thoughts, keep taking it.  (I'm sorry but after years of doctors and drugs, that is absolutely, wildly wrong.)

I was curious as to what other's thoughts were, and some people here probably started medication at a younger age than I did (18).  One reason that its not recommended for bipolar to be diagnosed in a minor is because the brain is still forming, hormone changes are involved, and other things which can make it hard to properly identify a diagnosis and treat accordingly.  I think something like anxiety is different, but also that similar things to be taken into account when diagnosing and treating.  My sister seems to be on the magic pill wagon when it comes to her children, which is shocking to me because she'll rarely even take a tylenol for a headache.

Anyways, I was curious as to your thoughts and experiences.",6.673017065479506,7.1183329549248775,7.151253478018919,73.42732911333705,65.02671118530884,10.595455388610647,33.50032461509924,10.442506126195006,3.499609868299017,2516,101,458,59,36,825,280,599,0.077,0.752,0.171,0.9968,4,0,5,0,0,0,75.0,3,5,1,7,19,31,1,1,40,1,48,24,3,9,3,100,87,42,1,5,25,7,6,3,3,1,20,2,0,4,42,30,0,3,19,0,3,10,14,9,1,2,20,9,43,22,75,58,13,59,0,3,0,1,51,25,1,14,27,322,85,17,0.0,0.0,0.06705759342601747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880985584825061,0.0,0.0,0.054952725677791116,0.05717780491779964,0.0,0.0,0.04672971708532938,0.0,0.15770427806782955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642408448738639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057375579959105485,0.12566720015452754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502084645900338,0.0,0.0,0.230131712624918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118197373983193,0.07269316438542572,0.05919335839755084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05486469892684845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084390746894365,0.05918559895764874,0.13949202204754182,0.0,0.07179433310043906,0.0,0.2813378451355493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187582555535798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663729262977964,0.09077347364376193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721812504620442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527579355809026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15927107186525924,0.0,0.0359016431754936,0.0,0.1171598643177939,0.11527262700399447,0.05495902789509388,0.07576041194374324,0.0756991998355987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12311334408347135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07757279785888131,0.0,0.07172238883812314,0.0,0.061078566430818985,0.0,0.07155787582006687,0.0755298100254256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707328454970864,0.1007145359228375,0.0,0.0,0.06081212321399306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502140956513003,0.0917378708936442,0.0,0.0,0.07485263880228694,0.07632877028839735,0.13844970566629625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05095256745689503,0.052998560608533016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732778281939894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09312843798969364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630177093363102,0.1488269943475788,0.0,0.047639512321147034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06495949921893979,0.0,0.0,0.06990959501494204,0.07408823239087899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804336405839625,0.14130443888020622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054646283410082166,0.0,0.2781799039531718,0.0,0.18767132741634907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772404576678695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05290147816282366,0.0,0.07692272745002747,0.0486380388236924,0.0,0.10975450178371446,0.05745024389521799,0.0,0.07183762204398239,0.0,0.0751649241710021,0.0,0.06476468302033081,0.0,0.15499923505752222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282616333367565,0.13209267335916205,0.0,0.2182135581780133,0.08013852879194733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763467897766188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153651530320332,0.0,0.059349171679996524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061784572043928586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050026581032064366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751309316610268,0.0,0.04425130627506672
bipolarreddit,sweetally4,2019/04/11,"Experience with SNRIs for anxiety? Long story short, my doctor wants to put me on an SNRI for my crippling panic attacks instead of giving me any Ativan to use on a *as needed* basis. My anxiety is usually pretty well controlled with my other meds, but when I get stressed everything goes down the shitter. My attacks have been so bad lately that I felt like I am having heart attacks, and now I’m out of Ativan. Anyways....

I’ve been on Pristiq before a few years ago with no luck, and after my experiences with SSRIs (I know they aren’t the same) I’m super skeptical and really do not want to take an SNRI. 

Anyways, have any of you had luck with any of them for anxiety? Any insight is appreciated, seeing that’s probably the route he’s going to make me take.",4.923221476510065,5.811800684563758,6.376704697986579,75.88331208053692,69.0,8.913020134228189,29.66510067114094,9.120678840339163,2.5676893959731544,598,22,109,11,10,204,98,149,0.18899999999999997,0.662,0.14800000000000002,-0.6514,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,2,2,7,12,4,2,7,0,11,2,1,3,0,23,26,7,0,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,9,0,1,3,0,0,2,3,7,1,0,4,2,16,5,23,22,2,16,0,0,1,0,5,6,0,2,9,75,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855397316330868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3637958474285957,0.0,0.30693616964360315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4564515726492055,0.0,0.0,0.11166875724293084,0.0,0.0,0.11380436075743157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15000272126102904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689032666024106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019844222658535,0.2616501477966619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12841303325607425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06987453336844708,0.1282972530475119,0.07600850661810846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15848459269800694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350095655978994,0.0,0.15086649558857246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06533945318907368,0.0,0.0,0.11835722147733845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927364256803408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14855691090289003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991677973504318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15691710260896558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13606341931949825,0.14419620408737904,0.0,0.0,0.13444737726653294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08567837619153988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10657484234013878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320069859866506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011142715514757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11550991292159972,0.1472976195036817,0.0,0.15776867367800584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024987602477208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08612528852231313
bipolarreddit,onelongclimb,2019/04/11,"Doc told me to discontinue and I feel awful! Achy all over, the shits, periods of panic and depression. All within a week of the first reduction. Seems like discontinuation syndrome, but I’ve only been on 50mg sertraline for the last two years. When will this end (based on experience)?!",4.3309615384615405,7.022076326923081,5.712153846153848,72.63284615384616,74.19230769230771,9.544615384615383,25.784615384615392,9.888512548439397,2.948687692307693,227,8,40,7,5,76,45,52,0.17,0.7979999999999999,0.032,-0.7494,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,1,4,1,2,1,1,0,2,7,5,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,2,1,2,1,8,2,2,11,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,1,8,25,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25818927721911256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26550499712860004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932301003513053,0.0,0.0,0.1515714366440902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549820514749609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443504923344313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464512409174792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279866641723959,0.0,0.3517125301272241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27289704046109364,0.0,0.0,0.3077069936993888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864406578043294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928292541050629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24045537767417266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19304041835137228
bipolarreddit,sketchypudding,2019/04/11,"New job has got my mood swinging like a mofo I really just need to vent so excuse me if this post gets out of hand.

About a month ago I got a new job after being unemployed for several months and being in and out of the hospital a few times. I felt like I was finally on the right med combo and my mood was great throughout training. Now that I'm actually on the floor working, I am having terrible mood swings. I know it's normal to feel stressed when you start a new job, but I'm seriously having like a mixed episode (or something idk) throughout the day and IDK what to do about it. Like I'm fine one minute, then I'm like too fine with like extra energy and really outgoing, and then I'm depressed as shit and can't stop thinking about death. It just keeps cycling like that throughout the day and it's freaking me out. Luckily, I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow and I am going to ask her to raise my meds because this is ridiculous. I know it's normal to be stressed by a new job, but this is obviously much more than that. I really can't afford to lose yet another job. I can't work like this and I can't live like this. If this makes any sense, can anyone relate? 

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers friends.",5.174523809523811,5.164139150793653,5.946126984126984,82.35442857142857,68.2063492063492,9.577142857142855,29.895238095238096,9.3871,2.3414599999999997,974,33,206,18,15,320,137,252,0.126,0.674,0.2,0.9511,8,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,3,10,25,2,2,13,0,19,2,2,1,1,37,40,21,1,5,7,0,3,9,1,0,0,0,0,0,15,16,0,3,6,0,0,1,4,9,0,1,6,3,22,13,26,31,4,31,0,2,0,0,6,9,2,3,29,125,37,8,0.0,0.0,0.09237833383911563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391385643235096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437471410122382,0.09926337762293692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06619121631280685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849798972299748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057706249088254086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210079853138725,0.0,0.08153389854364176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04786492402225313,0.0,0.09089221178483352,0.10369970098890556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07313711242319533,0.0,0.049457992886332576,0.0,0.05379968922006008,0.0,0.15142277457265352,0.10436730978199196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4696966856396776,0.16828328939021073,0.0,0.0,0.1040496332906966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4162321019854127,0.0,0.08358997871809956,0.0,0.0,0.1059047162318504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06318890397142346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103005569685414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511196810813606,0.0,0.06958887589662156,0.07019209974610996,0.0,0.3657080285737155,0.0,0.0,0.18550109182787256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414672444231664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09066187112702304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18193240008557415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084247338006939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694328846896158,0.09717115705066078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07287691312244343,0.0,0.0,0.06700361224105092,0.0,0.0,0.07914327876299768,0.2168744089215046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060656819776552996,0.0,0.07515258114589847,0.05519929502305845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783292740763878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Bored1985,2019/04/11,"Stability doesn't mean it's time to get lazy. Stability isn't guaranteed in the future even if you are doing great now. Things happen in life that can change everything. It's important to practice all the good skills you have when you're doing well because you'll need them when life with BD gets hard.

I have been inpatient free for 10 years. A recent hormonal change has brought me back to a place where I'm getting close to needing it. However, all the good things I've built up are really being put to use now. I'm glad I have that stability toolbox. I also know things can and will get better.",4.13985060690943,5.629138092436974,4.9364145658263325,83.22116713352008,71.43697478991595,8.650233426704013,25.827264239028946,9.150863307647796,1.9586967320261444,479,15,96,10,9,155,81,119,0.032,0.779,0.18899999999999997,0.9590000000000001,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,1,2,9,7,0,0,5,0,16,2,0,1,2,11,29,5,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,2,0,1,0,2,1,8,8,10,24,2,17,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,9,59,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380876156908113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277591696513705,0.0,0.10526068134531026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15271643076452132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3653331340054151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404977995937353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15518857210219833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3608608850126449,0.0,0.0,0.2896621054018236,0.0,0.1903740809947333,0.0,0.0,0.1526953578608774,0.0,0.15468230132831834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948973071976854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439300006580447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188092988889733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25607168585966583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18040794438624508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17358541520485682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11061961049491204,0.0,0.1704950895070293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441514972630551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068780237339316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14913519774374845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15525497843451455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119662035612823
bipolarreddit,skuirkee,2018/12/17,"Should I contact person I was infatuated with during last episode? I recently started having the feelings that depression has come back and my thinking is off. the last time I was depressed was a few years ago, and at that time, I was obsessed with a guy friend of mine, and I tried to take it further. He wouldn't go there (as I'm married and he's in a serious rel.). There was a lot of flirting though, and he was always a very cheery person, so that when I contacted him/hung out with him, I felt great. I saw him a lot, and helped at his company so it seemed normal at the time, but eventually got to a place that was unhealthy, I guess when he staretd reciprocating some of the flirting.

When the depression ended and I came out of it, I thought that the relationship with this guy was so embarrasing and I pretty much stopped talking to the guy completely, except at times I did try to contact him when I must have felt down, but I think he blocked me, and it's been a few years now. When I did see him at events, I barely spoke to him (just hi/how are you). 

Now I know that I've become sick again because all of a sudden. contacting this person that I was infatuated with seems like a great idea. I thought I should even contact him to say - don;t contact me! but I know that'll just get me to the high I want  - when I used to speak to him he became like this drug...

So I guess I'm just wondering if anyone had any similar experiences? Ideas as to whether or not I should ? ",4.109300000000001,4.7465399966666695,5.010000000000002,85.86000000000003,70.7,8.266666666666667,28.333333333333336,8.395991825355821,1.7120333333333335,1149,40,252,17,20,375,149,300,0.09,0.8,0.111,0.6278,0,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,0,1,0,0,21,12,0,1,18,0,24,2,0,1,2,59,52,28,0,8,11,0,3,2,1,6,2,3,0,6,15,18,0,2,14,0,0,3,2,5,0,0,21,8,41,7,33,25,7,41,0,3,2,0,34,13,0,10,27,174,56,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177986571427596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861516059745994,0.0,0.0,0.07040914178897666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723959212809093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961404978923026,0.0,0.06311558087506358,0.11434918255888955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184194709125104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918850411117339,0.10855723969028376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675304381534258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007078477864842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170361240248588,0.0,0.0,0.06838563097644013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10127967367157904,0.0,0.0,0.052351738866011466,0.0,0.19882473161773234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999291943330257,0.0,0.05409414056979536,0.0,0.05884282360527138,0.0,0.08280850450226329,0.2283012146980431,0.2281167542617139,0.3075556083978969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939909379972113,0.10939319526129196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23376277298833986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138031521497104,0.16879398189661815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10116651647392222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17604798830257054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611207441226647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014448985045695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712152059457324,0.10817479099399097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053349965468188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223092300990072,0.1111606713732094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233728250131045,0.0,0.0,0.08250608948402012,0.18851354735224224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07328447047136602,0.0,0.0,0.08656209839326451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07784741558510465,0.08321962852416391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326854708014783,0.10172520002233128,0.1643946327556131,0.2414945087798807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405905146181729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942327290885928,0.0,0.08542939164571897,0.06106917928486692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228214779166412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13334968376458525
bipolarreddit,Invisible96,2018/12/17,"Starfish Mental Health Support Group Discord Hello guys, I created this a while ago and thought I'd extend an invite! https://discord.gg/G4wnj8",9.974999999999998,13.84862377272728,6.936363636363637,64.9245454545455,61.27272727272727,8.036363636363637,38.27272727272727,8.841846274778883,4.179654545454547,121,6,14,2,2,34,21,22,0.10800000000000001,0.56,0.332,0.5562,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3671368543165887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4100935708715216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4402435091016213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41738610409235055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.469995385683883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3288048411637555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jrt364,2018/12/17,"What differentiates schizoaffective from bipolar 1 w/ psychotic features? Is it *really* possible to have a diagnosis of ""Bipolar 1 w/ Psychotic Features"" while *constantly* getting psychosis outside of episodes? 

The only ""reason"" I didn't get a schizoaffective diagnosis is that the examiner believed my thought processes were ""too linear"" for such a diagnosis. I literally met the criteria for schizoaffective except for that ""linear thought processes"" part. But I am on an antipsychotic which helps with all symptoms, except for the negative symptoms I get, such as flat affect, monotonous voice, etc..

Is it true that your thought process must be non-linear most of the time in order to meet the criteria for schizoaffective? Seems like a strange ""requirement"" to me, but I am not a psychologist, so I could be wrong.",9.096666666666668,10.972648888888893,8.790370370370372,58.75666666666669,60.111111111111114,13.111111111111116,43.88888888888889,12.45797560212912,6.591444444444448,660,39,92,24,9,212,85,135,0.069,0.889,0.042,-0.6581,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,0,1,4,3,0,0,12,0,12,4,0,2,3,19,20,5,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,7,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,6,1,9,2,18,10,4,6,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,4,71,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22850518567246084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21917300939442294,0.0,0.16193278576080294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22619444800476435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31789036702175605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13594388823256418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908608928020332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15425138646391326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21963093083991397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286455731456076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992969512817135,0.2085295451884957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18463688218707253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4216088182157546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4830418747078576,0.11826416136316326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217484338498936,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,playingtricksonme,2018/12/17,"Avoiding an episode, need some love Today is my husband’s birthday. As some of you know we are in a polyamorous trial and he has a girlfriend. Since they had sex I haven’t been intimate with him and that has been since dec 1. 

Well we had planned to try and be intimate for his birthday but his girlfriend made plans with him and he didn’t say no. Now he is saying we can celebrate his birthday another day but depending on what they do I don’t know if I’ll be ready for that again. 

This holiday season has been so bad. I got him a galaxy S9 because his phone sucked. My major gift was going to be myself and connecting with him. 

I’m waking up at night because he goes out every night and I wake up and I don’t know if he is home or with her. My anxiety is sky high. I’m trying to avoid an episode! I just want some love. ",0.5272232304900193,2.6630237126436818,2.2229582577132483,95.4362885662432,84.86206896551724,5.502238354506957,21.226860254083483,6.8360192770164,0.3674068965517243,642,21,146,8,19,210,103,174,0.10300000000000001,0.753,0.14400000000000002,0.8319,0,2,0,0,0,0,13.0,3,1,2,2,5,7,1,2,5,0,23,5,2,2,0,33,36,14,0,4,6,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,4,15,0,2,3,1,0,1,5,4,1,0,9,2,25,3,17,24,4,16,0,0,0,3,28,8,1,7,7,95,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19749912459932936,0.14408557623918555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15726257274218328,0.22963018087362616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146877025699665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586911721546396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704241361844026,0.0,0.1506389674553562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19899982592189905,0.1889282328196261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31053312886230106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3399825446246293,0.17821927305699992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396575311622502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35350336331107507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29956351207232285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.311606546553275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785317221612293,0.0,0.0,0.2557516294177235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110924314611544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16934732097398156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Avachi,2018/12/17,"Manic episode warning signs What are your manic episode warning signs? I'm wondering if I'm going into a manic or mixed episode. I had a medicine change and stressful/sad life event so I wouldn't be surprised. :/ 

I've noticed I wake up in the middle of the night a lot more (sometimes just wake up and come downstairs at 5am), I'm paranoid, my eyes feel bigger or more open, I just feel very ""off"" overall. I want to get this under control before it gets worse, but yeah I'm just wondering what some of your warning signs are that you're going into a manic episode.",1.8265634218289044,4.212349407079647,2.7019690265486744,92.46292404129794,81.47787610619469,4.474631268436577,25.34587020648968,5.46131890053228,0.5614135693215343,445,18,88,2,12,140,72,113,0.111,0.836,0.054000000000000006,-0.6014,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,1,4,1,0,0,6,1,5,4,3,1,0,25,19,7,0,3,7,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,4,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,3,8,1,11,16,4,16,0,0,1,0,2,11,0,7,2,49,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983854719553616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24663183272237654,0.20082997610580555,0.0,0.0,0.261486997984078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357657765501485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436126733228862,0.0,0.2649983420265553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646740947328702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982077939114749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21878665197182168,0.0,0.0,0.26543210894221025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23058200662103445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923654046440484,0.13751236147310264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5056620532619394,0.0,0.0,0.2375901807417386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pressure_art,2018/12/17,"About to stay with my family for the holidays and I'm very depressed. I don't know how to survive this... Hey lovely community,

​

As the title states, tomorrow I'm leaving on an 8 hours trip to stay with my family for 8 days. Since yesterday I am very depressed to the point where it's hard to breathe or think. The worst about it, it's entirely my fault by taking ecstasy Saturday night...

My main problem is, that I won't have privacy at all, since I have to live with them in a small apartment, sleeping on the couch. I don't have a good relationship with my dad and very superficial relationships with the rest of my family. They dont get depression or even pain. I won't be able to retreat the whole stay and I am scared to death because I am very bad at acting that everything is fine, in fact I know it will make me feel worse. Even when I'm not depressed, I need a lot of alone time to recharge...

Since its christmas our family gets tight and I am forced to meet a lot of people I don't wanna see honestly.

I haven't seen my family or my friends there in a long time and instead of being happy I can't stop thinking about how I just want to stay in my bed, alone.

I am sure I am not the only one this time of the year and I guess I'm wondering if someone has any tips to survive this week...or just some sympathy.

Thanks for listening, I rarely post anything but I wanted to say, as a silent long time lurker, this community has helped me trough some rough times.",3.800424328147102,4.639507646864686,4.913710513908537,85.53257425742575,71.54125412541255,8.807732201791607,26.96982555398397,9.107695989026183,1.9132657237152288,1159,38,252,23,21,382,160,303,0.11800000000000001,0.799,0.083,-0.8452,0,2,0,0,0,0,39.0,1,0,2,2,13,18,0,1,16,0,24,4,2,3,3,44,47,16,1,6,9,1,4,0,1,3,1,2,2,0,11,11,0,2,6,1,0,2,10,10,0,1,1,8,34,8,41,41,9,36,0,4,2,1,13,12,0,10,16,159,45,0,0.0853257051114359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17674339521836355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09245036583953777,0.10368007107422217,0.05802440541887914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021578508546635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124339971096548,0.05201375787136931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05502802097741205,0.0,0.2939636191339971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10000109091791054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11271364700042577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668524192093229,0.0,0.4021874049288726,0.0,0.04314324025492275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592242810953236,0.0,0.08915831846423826,0.0,0.0,0.07156715319681317,0.0,0.0,0.09399588388529974,0.0,0.0,0.09083079971616302,0.0764350721033576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05719202154752421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08402863198033819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378555213855784,0.0,0.0,0.09034760165378447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534416085278241,0.15102112796053505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14508172641930614,0.07700978020101594,0.0,0.05695557072684215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.063267929182046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08007239412530015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057818906030113824,0.06489404366077554,0.09079256614808158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05915410041606588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066037103551098,0.0,0.08171843929336453,0.0,0.0,0.08164517630346224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18321575007192373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06785442542764814,0.08542591600615435,0.0,0.06799353981753291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117469149990616,0.0,0.08538732631522132,0.0,0.07229619304854082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3637833948099089,0.0,0.07133611010532226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041846727928642,0.0,0.06415431132877801,0.0,0.0,0.07855644539658996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10934653306888042,0.0,0.0,0.24877052410811176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816105709906821,0.10065462317502948,0.0,0.06844313387320197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952631026003189,0.0,0.0,0.09253208744245817,0.0,0.0,0.08695418308747653,0.0,0.0,0.10368007107422217,0.05494695657863435
bipolarreddit,married_to_a_reddito,2018/12/17,"Does anyone have a weird perception of faces when manic/hypomanic? I have noticed the last 5 or 6 times out of 8/9 that I’ve had hypomania I have also had a really strange perception of faces...like peoples’ faces Just look strange, like there’s something missing. Specifically in the space between the eyes. I don’t know how to describe it. I just get fixated on this space in the face and have trouble concentrating on other things. I can’t say for sure what’s wrong, just that it doesn’t feel right. Like it’s not a face anymore. 

Does anyone else have a strange response to faces? I have trouble realizing I’m hypomanic and so I’ve been working hard to notice the symptoms. This one is fairly consistent and yet I can’t find anything like this online. Should I ask my doctor about this?",2.0212177502579958,4.774540189542486,3.2067354661162715,86.41452012383905,85.01307189542484,6.096869625043,25.04609563123495,7.475848149327749,1.501922875816994,631,26,120,11,19,203,91,153,0.14300000000000002,0.789,0.068,-0.8325,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,10,9,0,0,9,0,15,8,6,1,1,18,22,8,0,1,5,0,2,3,0,1,2,1,0,0,12,4,0,0,6,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,3,5,9,4,14,18,0,12,0,1,2,0,2,8,0,1,7,74,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14615212917699133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812475995722144,0.2555783746299326,0.18725796605705944,0.15039490268899006,0.0,0.17085478732201473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870613539977912,0.3198668773964319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267150838373364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09240832972142976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16703821263967353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548391870162652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637159680977461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043944513575703,0.14897279700696311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678601230902029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15347134500690052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4161441613909384,0.0,0.0,0.12384207817940796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670192556987325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11707995334469855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15607499830414862,0.0,0.14533711610269742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14069663651336414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722479859214649,0.189956347999278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12141681166896995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656811347929412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13305056743047786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19981803439001813,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,koolkat711,2018/12/17,"Difficultly with memory I have been beginning to identify when my memory is bad and connecting it with either mania or depressive episodes about to start. I didn’t know that memory could be affected by being bipolar and never thought it was out of the ordinary until it started to get worse. 

It begins with my short term memory. I will miss a turn onto a street I take everyday. I forgot where I left things I just put down. I forgot what I was doing when walking into another room. I have blocks of time I absolutely cannot remember. When I try to think back it’s just blank spaces between memories. 

Next is my verbal communication memory. I stumble on how to pronounce words right. I will forgot a word. I switch the order of words around from a sentence I want to say. 

Shortly after I will either go into a depressive episode or mania. Usually with mania I will get an anxious feeling like I should be doing something but nothing I do will fix that feeling. It’s a physical feeling I get and then I have excitement in my chest. With a depressive episode (which is my worst) I completely lose all ability to feel anything but a black hole in my chest. My mind is blank and I want to sleep all day. 

Now that I’m aware I see how much I mess up in a day due to my memory loss. It makes me feel bad because I feel like an air-head. ",3.0420849802371563,5.007287325757581,4.843339920948619,80.78229249011859,75.36363636363636,8.530698287220025,26.62977602108037,9.20300075937882,2.4253394598155467,1050,40,201,26,23,357,146,264,0.133,0.7829999999999999,0.084,-0.9099,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,12,14,0,0,13,0,25,4,3,4,3,50,53,15,0,4,8,0,6,2,0,6,1,1,1,0,13,13,0,4,10,0,0,3,3,11,0,0,8,9,36,3,34,35,7,44,0,6,2,0,1,19,0,2,23,147,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393093264998764,0.0,0.15008755340650914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10932777617654098,0.1182685015323152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021567628179589,0.22185559694805615,0.08098675350194003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13929521506030465,0.0,0.0,0.10607335507952144,0.0,0.0,0.17136007675578208,0.0,0.3432816643466515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4030507819613251,0.189822289426182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20823267887990726,0.0,0.07550416528862297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13634684924153884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07301325364600862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14434659517808138,0.0,0.0,0.12981180904508696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14862998866976382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886812827180111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341449793264114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766320334038016,0.0,0.10246543311260972,0.0,0.14129206454975315,0.0,0.0,0.12747729234150573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355527489518754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504980334085788,0.11345685376475947,0.0,0.1056510786956536,0.0,0.0,0.10586768336455743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13295025453807874,0.0,0.0,0.1022777375462958,0.0,0.0,0.1880699270544025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988990625363717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08826249941239626,0.08512767662203159,0.0,0.10547148117336716,0.07746841581535469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019935485210252,0.1445073378396139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632025156743506,0.0,0.15672182686869135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13538989067245094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,stressvape,2018/12/17,"Massive life changes all of a sudden I dropped out of college on a whim and now looking to work full time. I decided literally over a weekend that I hated school, I hated the program I was in so I quit without really thinking it through. I’m worried about the loans, I’m worried about everything I have to pay. 

I’ve been doing this a lot lately. I actually joined that stupid program on a whim without really thinking it through or considering it financially - doesn’t help that the “financial aid” people were super pushy about signing everything right then. 

I feel like I’m majorly fucking up my life and I’m stuck on this hellish carousel of indecision, manic impulses and financial consequences...
",6.329224806201553,7.842222697674423,7.013953488372098,70.30527131782951,66.2093023255814,10.38449612403101,39.91472868217054,10.504223727775694,4.757347286821705,564,33,92,15,9,186,82,129,0.209,0.723,0.069,-0.9485,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,5,8,5,1,8,0,6,3,0,0,1,15,18,6,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,4,1,2,0,3,6,0,0,4,2,10,2,19,14,4,16,1,0,1,1,1,9,1,3,7,61,18,6,0.0,0.0,0.17368593792637302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882826357472596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199196642571429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999365843789946,0.1271512403131308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16454260904889645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3514431424854328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11929839349360423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20077281253513865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25142960868721353,0.08695360580293097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14946106962642258,0.0,0.0,0.1513149598385814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339114717831642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893070515162566,0.0,0.0,0.2280412028437426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15199668829012536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18012850991916546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22808890779237376,0.0,0.0,0.1037834406675013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3431389249106012,0.0,0.12957389616718062,0.361501177184746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ladyfishbones,2018/12/17,"I've never been more paranoid in my life So, I have a constant paranoia that I do a good job subduing but I constantly feel like I'm being watched by cameras. No matter where I am I feel like I'm being watched, even at home. AndI've accepted in today's society we mostly are being watched and listened to... Anyways I was just scrolling through my facebook feed when I came across a short video by my ex boyfriend. It was a timelapse of his living room during a party he had from beginning to end from a nest in the corner of the room. Holy shit. The thought that someone I had trusted had a camera like that in their house and was using it that way just blows my mind. Am I crazy?


(Crossposted)",2.4511898173768683,4.570734539568349,3.3512230215827365,90.08014941892641,77.70503597122303,6.003541781959047,27.95849474266741,7.010146845296331,1.3996603209739904,547,24,110,6,13,174,90,139,0.087,0.741,0.172,0.8819,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,1,0,7,7,1,0,10,0,15,3,1,1,1,16,24,5,0,0,3,1,2,3,0,0,1,1,3,0,6,4,1,0,4,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,9,6,16,6,15,12,2,20,0,0,3,0,6,11,1,1,10,76,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23342767273747134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44110339715407054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807655502915268,0.0,0.0,0.13480130053365685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20639079828825466,0.29160772488961284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17118326987299826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20472161428768074,0.0,0.0,0.23549556859710424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20253050826415409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14415670656968102,0.2991281457030633,0.0,0.1802175892779645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20607544216745452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15740886868513154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20949821903984692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17292707859126966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16202680285164153,0.0,0.0,0.19345601140143512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17627056026204194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619992819548327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,turdylogmonster,2018/12/17,"Med issue 27 y/o make here dealing with a massive drop in sex drive from my meds. Does anyone else deal with this? How do you cope? I’m single atm and it did affect my last relationship though she was young and immature. It’s almost got me wanting to get off my lithium but I know sex/love is less important than stability(or what stability I’m getting).  

Anyways though I’d throw it up to see if here’s any work around out there. Seeing my dr Wednesday. ",1.5492391304347848,3.9273884891304327,3.1327826086956527,88.98830434782612,82.58695652173913,5.853913043478261,22.243478260869566,7.1686216300943375,0.7763921739130426,359,12,74,5,10,118,76,92,0.018000000000000002,0.9570000000000001,0.025,0.1457,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,8,0,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,3,0,14,14,7,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,8,0,11,11,2,11,0,0,2,1,5,5,0,2,3,42,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923141771374288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060319598618142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13428850935278788,0.19678185341501397,0.0,0.17096863404254015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3959981488737974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16806760829860562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160436338255765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20068040777191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15360299909982567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20045431023941074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10554776699735907,0.1565495114611905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819742852069496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42665703826781537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061939484054856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060840879790965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3773838424296788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327832989018807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398174817775753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jibberjabbery,2018/12/17,"Super don't want to see my pdoc It's only the second time I'm seeing him. I've heard nothing but amazing things. Our first meeting was...short. No med changes. Now, need a med change and it has me super worried. What's going to happen? I usually go in knowing at least kinda what change I want to happen but I'm clueless. That's Tuesday. Therapy is Friday. I haven't gone to therapy consistently since school started. I'm thinking about stopping. I don't feel that it's productive. I don't feel that I get much out of it. Why am I suddenly so against seeing my professionals? Maybe I was hypo for a couple weeks. Spent around $2000. Got a piercing which I took out today because it was too irritated and one was in the wrong spot, they weren't even. I'll get them redone when these heal and I'll go somewhere credible, not the mall. Why why why am I so wanting to avoid my appointments? Depressed since last week and some passive suicidal and self harm thoughts. Passive, not active.",1.2616923076923072,3.865052810256412,2.7617435897435914,89.15492307692308,87.56410256410255,5.3764102564102565,23.6974358974359,6.918507183188421,1.0504420512820514,778,31,151,11,25,253,123,195,0.23,0.711,0.059000000000000004,-0.9885,0,1,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,0,2,3,8,7,0,1,6,0,12,1,0,0,0,25,40,10,1,4,4,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,13,8,0,2,5,1,1,5,8,4,0,3,10,6,18,3,15,30,3,24,0,1,3,0,7,6,0,2,13,86,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10116713540275238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06927624643254165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36066042749104105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257447771377402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978812960010059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07506070225902756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492350739932017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666541509461588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187484599115929,0.0,0.19375928537841824,0.0,0.09089138189133794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20098979229620145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062455697181408774,0.09263491933431656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417053903299045,0.0,0.25246543380721786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354131817171223,0.08426548729917074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10904435524251203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700802530952926,0.08643128173445418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150136604170201,0.2716783450949055,0.0,0.11855533793955406,0.0,0.0,0.188014762056892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804377138840293,0.0,0.0,0.09501136132898927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243079451969324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599233318271851,0.0,0.07549993542954841,0.07281840114453167,0.0,0.09022053614232516,0.0662666526648035,0.0,0.107721097753034,0.0,0.12626251757964252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12516266385976688,0.0,0.20109029125213992,0.0,0.18231651020259404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41018365466724505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11541086319910647,0.0,0.0,0.12425172829638048,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Clinton_Dix_Lewinsky,2018/12/17,"My day from hell I'm getting evicted

My girl cheated on me

My best friend had a stroke.

Can someone just kill me cause I'm too much of a coward to do it myself.",0.924166666666668,2.1497386388888917,2.8566666666666687,95.955,79.27777777777777,4.800000000000002,23.11111111111111,3.1291,-0.15248888888888867,125,4,30,0,3,42,30,36,0.318,0.531,0.151,-0.8481,1,0,0,0,0,1,2.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,3,0,2,0,3,1,0,1,0,2,6,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,6,2,4,5,2,2,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,20,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4311444889405573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42203924927092346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649536674752525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3174089997469452,0.0,0.2146435856081683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4545264789876998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30200994761799943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3480979535966334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,diabetesmonster,2018/12/17,"New to being medicated for bipolar. lamotrigine. Help? I started to take it and everything was going great. However, it makes my nose dry and hard to breath out of my nose when sleeping. I keep on getting sinus infections  and problems. The doctor said it was unlikely it was the meds. I started them back up again and my nose/sinus problems are back. 

Any advice? What should I do? Has anyone else had this problem? 

To be fair the medication is working great except for the sinus problems.",2.2322051282051305,5.143505400000002,3.6300000000000026,81.36807692307694,89.44444444444444,5.88034188034188,25.81196581196581,7.321109707123232,1.912094017094017,386,17,64,7,13,126,61,90,0.12300000000000001,0.7390000000000001,0.138,0.5477,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,1,4,6,0,0,4,0,11,11,4,1,0,13,19,5,0,5,1,0,1,0,0,1,7,1,0,0,6,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,5,4,8,2,11,11,0,11,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,7,48,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15132356391431884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530744100529296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827896798064346,0.15866834852652734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23814952542666615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15850175422134846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293623796753167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391746547210236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08090590755755529,0.0,0.08800827588509423,0.0,0.0,0.34145873799039705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13872062605644073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037967626141285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13764319435866326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033676323081844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17201018913669944,0.3120024070556793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14956096186940732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5927053986939194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14730358867953666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15496790985839567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21921585335885335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643249606298148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127370666745284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,twobeanz,2019/08/05,"I thought I was cured. I'm 29. It's not my first rodeo. My cycles are so long sometimes I think I'm cured. 

My last hospitalization was in June 2016 and I've been relatively stable since. Usually spring triggers depression but seldom summers trigger an uncomfortable mania, usually dysphoric. 

Since June I've been ok, I thought I could escape it even though I felt it slowly creep. I've distracted myself, tried sleeping well, etc. The past week I am literally vibrating. I want to rip my fucking skin off. I'm so uncomfortable I just want it to end. My to do list is 10 feet long, because I want to do everything and I need to do it now. 

Just when I think I'm safe, and the diagnosis was bullshit, it bites me in the ass. Thanks for letting me vent.",1.9395270270270253,4.4007889662162185,3.7242567567567586,84.83679054054058,81.63513513513513,7.213513513513512,25.466216216216218,8.278499904357787,1.8452486486486488,589,24,119,13,16,197,89,148,0.142,0.723,0.135,-0.7227,0,0,0,0,0,1,21.0,0,0,0,1,9,7,1,1,4,1,13,5,4,2,0,20,28,8,0,5,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,5,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,8,2,20,4,9,18,1,18,0,1,0,2,0,3,2,0,15,68,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039103495382894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360978052138875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468162639358539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15097626111575455,0.0,0.19010707300798413,0.11258669760521646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153197742646057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636675688698107,0.0,0.0,0.14499251313401235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15758678875783294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894700338381086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17430608660609972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3017020656891216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12639334101043428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16272259952754115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820112325617117,0.0,0.17058230911707525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685885128873512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15693593452393856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21844675210905626,0.1674753039522304,0.2706511374056537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157306113102268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3754734651646061,0.0,0.30162376757974785,0.0,0.1367320927253189,0.0,0.15326329708779482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Stonedmonkey420,2019/08/05,"Trying to make a change while coming out of a manic episode Been trying to start a routine for myself to keep on my fitness, hygiene and just general betterment of my self starting this week but the problem is I’ve just came out of a week long manic episode and I’m now hitting an intense low. Almost fucked my relationship again, got myself in a load more debt after clearing a lot and hurt myself. So now after day 1 of my new routine I’ve gotten my workout area cleaned up and partially worked out. That’s all I’ve gotten done and it’s 8pm, still need to tidy my room and bath but it feels like I have a mountain to climb when all I want to do is lock myself away and hide. Don’t know the point if this just wanted to give myself some sort of visual motivation I guess. Wish I could be normal",4.082181818181816,4.712686309090909,4.992121212121212,85.98818181818184,70.75757575757575,7.212121212121213,26.51515151515152,6.980632752743323,1.11669696969697,631,19,131,5,11,206,105,165,0.131,0.7859999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.9059999999999999,1,0,0,0,0,2,8.0,0,0,0,4,9,6,1,0,10,0,9,1,0,2,3,40,29,13,0,8,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,5,12,0,2,3,2,1,3,1,4,0,0,6,1,15,2,22,20,5,30,0,2,0,1,3,12,1,6,16,86,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17286367054801913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16219125040590282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267690775453965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19744234467023894,0.0,0.0,0.18261929289791853,0.1487051684460867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783073838902846,0.0,0.0,0.1113318509249731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17666008033036415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728674422896268,0.12332666528126834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15959334113223164,0.0,0.16560210231863362,0.0,0.0,0.1380677110071062,0.0,0.1901710355270608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848036239653535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15344117575724908,0.0,0.0,0.09487274777601196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843381331668378,0.0,0.0,0.1527718188477574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467635656412403,0.0,0.0,0.11523164011495887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280027072556111,0.0,0.1667268036284321,0.0,0.0,0.16914041636256466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16319082976588736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16518327273102112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853396525243696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18009038696932952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24437632707333395,0.0,0.1378622713535618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344084180642545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036428950776115,0.0,0.27694620456502056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19851559217755416,0.0,0.0,0.12567645020564908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,merderlee27,2019/08/05,"Finally starting medication and feeling good about it Its been about a week since i was so low and came so very close to possible self harm. Luckily i have my boyfriend and friend who have been helping me as much as possible. Being therefore me when they notice a change in moods. My mood swings are severe and constant. Today i finally met with a psychologist who agreed with my therapists’ diagnosis and decided to start me on mood stabilizers.  Its a low dosage but she says that in the next week i should start to see my mood level out. 

I really am excited to be doing this. I hate scaring myself and the people i love.",4.1120168067226865,6.17107368907563,5.214025210084035,78.87582773109246,72.61344537815125,9.129747899159666,27.866386554621855,9.642632912329526,2.771318655462186,495,19,92,13,10,163,80,119,0.135,0.7140000000000001,0.151,0.0551,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,5,13,1,1,6,0,11,2,0,1,0,16,20,12,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,1,7,11,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,5,3,17,4,14,12,1,20,0,2,1,1,10,8,0,0,11,66,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18683194784994,0.0,0.0,0.17280547525953127,0.0,0.0,0.17652621458083728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825960230213714,0.0,0.0,0.3578897518444566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12620587507073847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13701247746090456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16127695212802515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949185783140332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14743217108335047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16456063915690022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200830151305889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17372742798561278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859781084566249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11324818003711255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36831120419052016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10464790945742232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299046073407633,0.16354452941816244,0.0,0.1301709363249016,0.0,0.17041247075304272,0.18454203149381107,0.0,0.1351270246325651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468656022479385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18966505146078316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15483923996474938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13478306837392626,0.0,0.0,0.2620633326399613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,piggiez,2019/08/05,"DAE keep a medical journal? https://imgur.com/Pdot6bB

So I've been finding a lot of catharsis in keeping a record of my illness and was curious if anyone else had success with journaling. This is also intended for people that haven't considered the idea, so here it goes. This comment was taken from a thread on /r/bipolar:

""It helps your psych too! I always dreaded the ""so how are things"" question since when I speak to my psych I'm always in a different head space (generally positive, upbeat, and chatty) and journaling has helped that so much. They can be short excerpts, no need to get super detailed unless you have a lot to talk about. I only ever journal when I have to; when I need that immediate release from the built up nonsense that would otherwise be floating around in my head.

There's an app called Journey that makes it feel a bit less soapy than if I were writing in a physical journal. Even if you have a healthy social network journaling can be a great supplement especially if you're like me and try not to overburden friends with baggage. Not saying that a good talk doesn't have its place, but journaling can help you get to know yourself and develop a familiarity with your diagnosis in a way that friends/family can't (at least not in my experience). You can always be there for yourself even if that often gets lost when you're knee deep in bullshit""",8.629239713774599,7.84586659302326,8.24922480620155,71.26789803220039,61.36434108527132,11.504353011329755,38.83840190816935,10.727762888450028,4.160059868813358,1103,49,195,23,13,352,155,258,0.077,0.841,0.08199999999999999,0.1012,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,6,1,3,20,8,0,1,17,0,24,5,3,3,1,38,37,22,0,8,10,0,1,1,1,1,2,2,0,0,15,9,0,2,5,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,7,3,18,6,29,25,6,22,0,1,0,0,20,15,0,9,6,141,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10725249817309608,0.3347857094538819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09377700931364563,0.13741766730001395,0.0,0.11939165356902302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14641991090607911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369474073535603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012265060048626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203668921019064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17716467556545226,0.12131557927857753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13119116012530374,0.12643260688826036,0.0,0.06781306759222222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12257957305759327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036176709681662,0.0,0.21021018729815,0.0,0.0,0.11249011823039076,0.0,0.14786333786666395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27528336926507346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696853365687264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15140061312744052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384168848310368,0.0,0.0,0.07370663340035323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06552229179315534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14640343157011368,0.2280412148446849,0.0,0.0,0.08952345592568789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510773688557287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859067451251798,0.19889059480424492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200124383561257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09297913152024002,0.0,0.14012265060048626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15024058787245592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066544077535176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11094212190547027,0.0,0.0,0.1367143487000426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21559468381947575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910069559054662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09105594462705786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645501978001423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527214192639816,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lavenderaquarius,2019/08/05,"Having a bad day I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to control my bipolar 2 over the years. Lately it’s been flaring up (like today, for example). Hard to admit it’s a bad day that I can’t control but better to just own your shit— right?",2.215,3.4380786862745154,4.190343137254903,87.72904411764708,75.86274509803924,6.668627450980392,24.514705882352942,7.1686216300943375,0.9767999999999994,187,6,40,2,4,64,40,51,0.114,0.741,0.14400000000000002,0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,3,1,4,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,2,0,5,6,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,3,2,7,3,2,8,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,6,25,6,0,0.2373982889943926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.396435310354324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20995949464821556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5325247349869088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062045138618913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24529589309396985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126622371629032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677956103273064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11598081255190118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027368416789976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436859321476628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22502581971334568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15287671470374636
bipolarreddit,kayabee217,2019/08/05,"feeling lost today So I came to reddit about 2 months ago to look for support with my bipolar, I was diagnosed this year and had a hard time accepting it. Immediately I made a friend who I really hit it off with. I talked to this person every day since then and it really kept me grounded, gave me a reason to watch my moods, and most importantly gave me hope! Today after 3 days of not hearing from him I got a message saying he no longer wanted to talk to women online. I thought this was purely a friendship thing and we helped each other. I feel hurt, betrayed, lost, furious I don't know what to feel honestly but I needed to vent...",2.8489477451682177,4.7392398503937025,4.52217609162491,83.20455261274161,75.69291338582677,7.137866857551898,23.356478167501788,8.00094639256281,1.3086283464566928,499,15,97,8,11,168,90,127,0.10800000000000001,0.769,0.124,0.2465,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,2,2,10,1,0,5,0,4,2,0,2,1,25,24,7,0,3,2,0,4,0,1,0,2,2,0,2,10,9,0,1,7,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,12,8,17,5,16,11,2,13,0,3,2,0,15,2,0,2,10,63,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14781479057549324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19071883747886925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215081331395698,0.0,0.0,0.16924885826168526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14049499519732647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529431021668642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12883148762023885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336608912653822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493762339741832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879406108493034,0.0,0.11176974858592728,0.0,0.0,0.1656214692216277,0.0,0.0,0.17851050332399632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916420446408644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002892818858134,0.0,0.36405705138229255,0.0,0.0,0.15778392441272393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309913857245198,0.0,0.0,0.12364382910216695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560063021724362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21365005146061766,0.17144790502522106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13260716906446002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379382345818091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18922717425258576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680564384429308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11078202254183832,0.0,0.0,0.13238174856430587,0.0972339084466465,0.0,0.316121093656929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983541202240586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10738224242086927
bipolarreddit,Rhys345,2019/08/05,"I haven't felt so okay in a while, but it also feels kind of dark I don't think I'm in any particular mood state right now. My energy level is totally normal and I'm not depressed. At the same time though everyone is really worried about me. They say I've been isolating a lot and seem really disheveled and distant. Apparently my parents were trying to reach me for 3 days and I never responded. I keep staring off and zoning out and getting asked if I'm okay and say I'm ""pausing"". I feel fine aside from feeling kind of paranoid much of the time. Voices come and go but they sometimes keep me awake all night and it's absolutely awful.",2.042933810375672,4.3267139612403165,3.9218604651162816,84.61889087656532,79.93023255813954,7.070005963029219,23.87656529516995,8.139509932561175,1.559022182468694,507,18,100,10,13,171,90,129,0.079,0.7959999999999999,0.126,0.4778,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,0,5,7,0,0,4,3,6,0,0,0,3,29,22,16,0,2,4,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,11,0,2,6,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,3,8,12,5,12,19,5,17,0,1,1,0,7,7,0,3,7,60,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14142863395127173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026555499827557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653329261164927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15234250374112038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11405503314562102,0.0,0.152322533721944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16898984817525164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682653460845644,0.0,0.16980583833173085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239797095211448,0.0,0.10050917620560376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3143887080201317,0.0,0.3683286861884226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15035340924190452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13000670990559335,0.0,0.13639931296943442,0.0,0.0,0.1659638017830792,0.1732775987663847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963734300365655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.226592085354664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510308055613179,0.0,0.28127992261994106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609995933834875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17491133986787608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11331974357799658,0.17375638059419785,0.0,0.2062478705854313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007102940356325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17960198546353429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,smlybright,2019/08/05,"Lamictal and eyesight I've heard that lamictal can cause eyesight issues. I've been on it for years now and my eyesight is getting worse. I noticed a little up until recently, when it seems to have gone worse very quickly. I'm already in glasses. I suppose my eyesight is could just be doing its own thing but I'm scared it's the lamictal. Is there truth to this? Has anyone else had this problem? Focusing has been more difficult. I sometime will get something like an eye glitch while ready and have to refocus after my eyes seem to need to pull away from focus sometimes and road signs and subtitles are harder for me to read now. I'll be going to the eye doctor soon. If it's a lamictal thing, or could be, I'd like to get off of it and maybe on to something else. Thanks for reading and any advice.",3.0359732142857148,5.019465793750001,3.985892857142858,86.84125000000002,75.4375,6.821428571428572,27.05357142857143,7.7094869923839395,1.6166071428571431,637,25,124,9,14,205,101,160,0.09300000000000001,0.807,0.1,0.2693,0,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,1,5,0,19,4,3,1,1,20,31,13,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,11,7,0,0,2,2,0,3,0,3,0,0,5,4,7,4,22,20,2,21,0,0,3,0,1,8,0,4,12,84,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14480355427974165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635245758068909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007701071480495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361360129092152,0.15183187749494914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13922361563744948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15222564471294933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366255108888608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15167246116289446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475772032130781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23225985445060585,0.0,0.08421630329437302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466545185656125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14479029918339567,0.1485191583535613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488706059744068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987645554805826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16870830828445102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14179194262875414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964479239821694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14631368603280664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14835789607866592,0.0,0.0,0.2698020439232008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22815835212627697,0.2931152558211285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13642779038643335,0.0,0.0,0.1968935459817292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222672046697149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020240288009965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542554830017536
bipolarreddit,clown_farts,2019/08/05,"Urgent question If your epilim was increased by 600mg in the morning Increased by 1000mg the at night from your normal dose immediately 

would one start to feel mania really soon after or would one feel incredibly down from the fast dose increase? 

So morning went from 400mg to 1000mg
And night went from 1000mg to 2000mg

And the higher doses started over one night too. 


I’m so confused right now. Any help would be appreciated ASAP. Thank you 🙏🏻",2.834116161616162,5.360793068181817,3.911969696969699,84.43101010101012,78.54545454545455,5.729292929292932,22.277777777777786,6.937597516519254,0.7338217171717174,362,11,68,4,9,117,58,88,0.033,0.784,0.183,0.8959,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,3,0,0,5,2,0,1,4,0,5,3,0,0,0,12,13,6,0,5,2,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,5,0,1,0,3,3,2,3,1,14,6,3,19,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,4,9,38,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12810767846273255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19050536788851868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262699213227963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.530357275337504,0.18457646420770005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3829619159025165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21103335596421444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206837070399399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16087903038483642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666785346594644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17343881036594266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34926797922408964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4014680744798809,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tamefox142,2019/08/05,"Diagnosed at 12, and a Brief Overview of my Bipolar *Disclaimer: I don't know if there's anything triggering in here but I just want to be safe.*

At 12 years old I was diagnosed with depression and Complex PTSD. 
It was extremely noticable looking back on it, but at the time I just looked lazy. In class I wouldn't do my homework. I wouldn't clean. I wouldn't really talk, unless it was to myself or the animals hanging on our walls at home. 

At 15 I was diagnosed with Bipolar II. I was put on antidepressants because that's all the medication my parents could afford at the time, along with my dad's extreme denial of any ""mental health issue"" I had/I was lying and ""was faking it"" I would stay in depressive states for months with hypomania happening for a couple weeks at a time to maybe a month. I wasn't suicidal and because hypomania helped a little to find motivation my school work was getting done with more ease.

At 16 I realized the hypomania wasn't really helping me focus and even though I had energy, I couldn't concentrate on anything. I found myself getting irritated by very, very small issues that I didn't normally notice. I started thinking there were cameras in the eyes of the animals hanging on the walls, that I was being followed. And many many other weird things. I started experiencing auditory hallucinations. 

At 16 and 3/4 I didn't leave my room except to go to school. For months I would only leave my room to eat, even then I really wouldn't. I didn't shower. I didn't brush my teeth. I didn't have motivation. My parents just saw me as the most lazy and disgusting teenager. 

At 17 and 3 months I had my first full blown manic attack. It lasted 4 weeks (I think, I don't remember half of it) luckily, I didn't have a bank account yet so I didn't ruin my financial situation. I did try and steal and did steal stuff from stores. I lost my virginity. I got drunk and high for my first time. I blacked out and passed out on my front lawn naked. I didn't go to school for a week. I hid in my closet for 16 hours with my eyes closed because if I was in the place monsters could spawn. They couldn't spawn. I crashed my four wheeler. I had sex with my boyfriend's brother because I got upset he was at work. 

At 17 and 4 months, I was diagnosed with Bipolar I. After I went in for a normal med check up, I told my Dr. Just a tid bit and my mom filled in some blanks.  My doctor recommended me to see a Psychiatrist. I got in within 2 weeks. He immediately put me on Prozac (I was orginally on Zoloft) and Risperdal. 

At 19 and some change, I am still on those same medications. I'm bad at taking them. And my wonderful and caring best friend reminds me and watches me take them almost every day. I have really bad days and I have really, really good days. I've only been in mania one other time. I have weeks where I feel crazy and I have weeks when my will to live is beyond low. I'm still working at this. I did graduate high school. Barely. And I mean, by a thread. I'm working on going to college but need to get my mental health more stable before I can accomplish my goals. 

Well thank you for listening to my story. It's very brief of what I've actually been through with this debilitating and extremely troubling mental disorder, but I'm still here.",2.3617280439485637,4.575944759571215,4.0652446583533886,84.37815041687941,78.43338437978561,7.331330367777536,23.99448212158779,8.319207256438283,1.5726967062884372,2580,89,518,52,63,864,293,653,0.132,0.765,0.10300000000000001,-0.9695,5,0,0,0,0,0,79.0,1,1,3,12,21,22,2,1,21,0,58,22,3,3,1,85,96,37,1,16,13,5,1,0,1,7,15,1,8,0,18,37,2,1,13,1,4,14,18,15,1,5,41,12,95,7,84,42,10,104,0,5,8,2,18,53,0,8,35,342,113,17,0.0,0.0,0.05935802717010909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06090909447142565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041364201646495416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10011028539026502,0.0,0.0,0.06919908524291231,0.0,0.04677193224774441,0.10157540884227384,0.14831742288104738,0.0,0.0517589913122344,0.0,0.06383380691918412,0.0,0.06640693790109031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06201681428081043,0.0,0.06434652074759922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09713024649990447,0.06730352121481499,0.0,0.11768445395443852,0.0,0.10477979335429716,0.2469510404916775,0.0,0.0,0.06971260024460196,0.06225864440676687,0.0,0.06224677219949901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062240839028400774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035084528967118,0.0,0.05124906838988612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030755777275180494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055594447815223984,0.10347821935272622,0.0,0.0666932721621067,0.04699451187244874,0.0,0.0953382280299232,0.0,0.10370754532213344,0.05101850048661462,0.14594586404173213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05378879766493559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931174978979496,0.0,0.0,0.08154163044961714,0.1285333714506647,0.06101408032400285,0.0,0.0599019886928986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269744196846368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03342873108463603,0.04958183075723645,0.0,0.12881326007929905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06096427391387769,0.053711038310553016,0.0,0.10215811755030572,0.0,0.0663994639022787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333733350790092,0.06110853644041719,0.06625804388107738,0.06756468565544797,0.12255288283944145,0.18389684234618253,0.0,0.0,0.07123942666904222,0.2427562222324744,0.0,0.0,0.04510218349589245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11919438672687342,0.0,0.13850306764216275,0.06382732748236658,0.0,0.041217706079780765,0.09252280271595584,0.0,0.0,0.13508157274396518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06355089345008152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711030881620195,0.12229514907119685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23380262229475296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890472669487692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24623923188129485,0.04847095754567365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06837169290811737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08610681900425651,0.06483310595746214,0.14572870198750335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963195118433711,0.06653447258145223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09146812797610156,0.048890149883333615,0.0,0.05600099862392047,0.0,0.0,0.040410517411260914,0.07795051083340719,0.05976186585067235,0.0,0.17734251731882825,0.0,0.0,0.05812246204852239,0.0,0.04129729640562906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15056504707138155,0.03587712876683155,0.0,0.2927487739420833,0.0,0.05469045515513785,0.05638690551047652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596389736542899,0.17713007606842165,0.0,0.0,0.08641900098776129,0.0,0.0,0.03917036245993753
bipolarreddit,zephyrthejester,2019/08/05,"Friends are always understanding about you being bipolar until they see it for themselves Does anyone else have this problem? 
I've had issues with friends and significant others saying they support me until they actually see my mood cycles. People always think you're not trying hard enough to ""get better"" when they don't see how bad you used to be or how many times a day you hold in an outburst. Also them thinking meds are a ""cure all"" and you should be better automatically after starting them when sometimes it takes months to tell.",9.324693877551018,8.848978000000002,8.429510204081634,69.53691836734697,59.81632653061224,9.47265306122449,33.885714285714286,8.238735603445708,2.7090587755102047,436,14,70,4,5,136,75,98,0.028999999999999998,0.779,0.192,0.9384,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,4,6,2,6,8,0,0,3,0,9,1,0,3,1,15,20,10,0,2,2,0,1,0,2,1,1,1,0,0,4,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,5,12,5,10,15,2,10,0,0,3,0,14,1,0,1,9,49,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.16210946421900405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284635582439938,0.2764508192698415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615518668220272,0.1702098938267519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13870352410852402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938398378461662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713386033303043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453730070520779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13877220702294235,0.0,0.0,0.17164669207226824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566882864568185,0.0,0.08679100818287118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14881117281371187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17338644936434805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16841992571507566,0.0,0.0,0.1845222207325252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13259565048938465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151669098676517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589547063404521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321055420060932,0.0,0.0,0.39712914996616144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16429723914194236,0.0,0.1175808139173801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885113647571184,0.0,0.0,0.12490180289202715,0.0,0.1451964772898866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21288638031360785,0.0,0.0,0.09686609153439578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278478940723907,0.0,0.0,0.17293710637992402,0.0,0.1434746153468889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pipette_on,2019/08/05,"Euphoria and feelings around the show (possible spoilers?) So I’m not sure if anyone else is watching Euphoria on HBO, but the series finale was tonight and I am having some serious feels about the whole season.

So at one point they allude to Rue (the main character) as possibly being bipolar, and while I think that may be possible, I don’t think it’s quite possible to diagnose a TV character.

None the less, the depression and feelings the character experiences I empathize with so much, that it’s kind of sending me for a tailspin.

Is anybody else watching and would be open to talking about it and how it relates to their bipolar disorder?",10.932773109243698,8.501267991596638,10.350823529411766,63.24270588235295,58.15966386554621,14.225882352941177,47.32941176470589,12.688352899677879,6.096881008403362,517,28,85,14,5,168,80,119,0.09699999999999999,0.8590000000000001,0.044000000000000004,-0.7434,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,2,1,7,4,0,0,9,0,11,3,0,1,1,22,17,14,0,2,3,0,3,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,6,9,0,0,5,2,0,1,3,2,0,1,1,5,7,2,13,11,6,10,0,1,2,0,4,5,0,3,4,67,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784462838633088,0.15803188193089468,0.0,0.137301760909401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284229357221464,0.1565451771222351,0.0,0.0,0.17676655795763807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25768693631712364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15087132778957452,0.0,0.0,0.23395739940139604,0.0,0.0,0.16895679426815946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16061191429177765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133803981698642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451356003173363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14580183385017928,0.6955067031941294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16404780155204632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14536456817906976,0.0,0.0,0.12396817049696965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976549926801492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721977580696891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10956404791346992,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,t0fupan,2019/08/05,"I'm close to just calling quits My reason for writing this post is to gain clarification. I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I get unreasonably irritated and upset over dumb shit and therefore cause problems with my significant other. My S.O. has kept telling me that he's basically tired of me and how I treat him. I've been trying over and over to help the situation, such as trying to manage my irritability and my irrationality of getting upset. I talk to myself sometimes, but manic takes over, I lose my train of thought and think it's okay to act irrational and get into horrible arguments over topics. 

I honestly just think now I'm just a shitty person with a disorder. I talked to my ex to get clarification on how he felt when I treated him the same way. He tells me ""Having a mental disorder doesn't make it an excuse to be a generally shitty person and you're not trying hard enough."" 

I've tried so hard with my psychiatrist and my therapist to get help, and I honestly feel like it's not doing enough. Depression has kicked in and I feel utterly hopeless that I just don't deserve to be with anyone because of how I treat others when I'm manic. I hate not having any ounce of control sometimes and I don't know anymore.. I can't tell who I am anymore.",4.266611039794608,5.91144024390244,5.96028669234061,75.39098202824135,71.35772357723576,8.756183140778777,28.801026957638,9.276330184999452,2.617360975609756,1004,39,185,22,19,344,133,246,0.22,0.647,0.132,-0.9782,0,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,0,0,0,4,12,16,3,2,7,1,15,3,1,8,0,48,34,20,0,1,8,1,5,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,9,18,0,2,10,0,0,1,7,9,0,0,4,5,31,7,30,28,3,15,0,3,0,0,19,9,2,0,4,123,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591925751384247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22143443142819172,0.07806151944231936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805491326610509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139972662803783,0.0,0.0,0.11468537891096987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521413098788492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615565872508576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38384849502187146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307086230607757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11289741767278333,0.07975587910535797,0.10719223112424353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916373416549192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000156272248802,0.1102217198803867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14966032931346468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06135460960336209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05454182951825549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12489698068241067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452079189168406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250720167306147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19496007231159052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692058266785234,0.0,0.0,0.10682472521345064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187432405483436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11478486017373428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145972016815046,0.0,0.12548841640676284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208302959847632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393963966079712,0.1794645481425669,0.29273572602309106,0.0,0.0,0.12962303600960018,0.0,0.1430692403028261,0.0,0.0886299572822016,0.0,0.12831414449811113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031858424092243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861490313149564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,momri,2019/08/05,"Possibly misdiagnosed I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at age 15- I’m now 25. I was medicated on and off for years, but was largely unmedicated for the past few years due to finances. I had my first (and only) son 2 years ago, and I felt that I was experience PPD afterward, so I began seeing a therapist as well as a psych who started me on Zoloft again. 

I’ve thought, for years, that I have bipolar disorder, but my current psychiatrist has only seen me once and just picked up my previous diagnosis of depression from the doctor who diagnosed me 10 years ago. Thankfully I have a medication management appt this month, so I plan to talk with her a bit more about my thoughts on this, but I’m curious if anyone else has dealt with this transition of diagnoses.

For reference, here are some of the symptoms that lead me to believe I might have bipolar:

I don’t necessarily experience mania, but I do experience hypomania. Even with a diagnosis of depression, my doctors have noted the hypomania. Some examples: before this current relationship and having my son, I went on a 2 year spree of reckless sex, partying, drinking. Not your typical young party phase- I put myself in very dangerous situations often. I would start a job and then decide the day after that I couldn’t go back- so I was constantly starting and quitting jobs. I packed my car at 2 a.m. one morning (albeit while I was drunk) and moved two states over to live with my best friend. And then left two weeks later to move back home  without any of my stuff. 

I feel as though I recognize that my hypomanic behavior isn’t always “normal” or healthy behavior- so I have developed the ability to control some of it. But the last year or so, I’ve channeled it into work which has completely exhausted me and taken a toll on my family. I still have the urge to just run away and leave in the middle of the night or to be promiscuous and risky like I did when I was younger, but I am able to control those urges and channel them into other tasks. 

I’ve noticed the hypomania for years now. I knew before starting Zoloft that antidepressants could trigger mania and rapid-cycling and a year and a half down the road, I’m starting to see that that might be what I’ve been struggling with for months now. I originally thought it was my menstrual cycle, but my “pms” was a full 2 weeks- and by that I mean the mood swings and irritability. Now that I’m tracking my moods more, I feel that the Zoloft might’ve triggered rapid cycling in me because I’m cycling through a full episode each month- with the hypomanic period lasting about two weeks, and the depressive lasting about two weeks. 

Sorry this is so long! It seems as though it all clicked in my head recently and I just need some sort of conversation to tide me over until I see my doctor. I’m really struggling right now because it heavily affects my relationship- when I’m hypomanic and irritable, i immediately jump to wanting out of my relationship desperately. Soon after, I’ll be in love again. It’s become a vicious cycle that I’d like to treat before it hurts my family.",5.928871185407687,6.967425213921902,6.888115449915112,72.57754429498067,66.80984719864176,10.523198815898306,33.43872709067955,10.560738912317856,3.7038499064037262,2477,108,449,66,39,828,286,589,0.10800000000000001,0.8109999999999999,0.081,-0.9189,4,0,1,0,0,0,62.0,0,1,1,8,31,20,2,2,29,0,36,21,1,8,1,83,69,51,0,7,16,2,3,2,1,3,16,0,1,0,32,33,2,2,11,4,1,9,5,10,1,7,21,8,63,8,71,40,13,99,0,5,5,2,14,27,0,13,64,315,95,10,0.06256059714472598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091238935673116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05205542844935855,0.0,0.0,0.04254335135270075,0.0,0.0478586855798309,0.0,0.0,0.04374382412992844,0.06410072484410242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05877774038639614,0.0962104751381848,0.0,0.07627271870591155,0.06909326440985818,0.1597033810933715,0.07048436966709055,0.06565348702126828,0.0,0.06829996902943801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655935958410752,0.06760578045414146,0.14033405866671966,0.04994954621794294,0.0,0.0,0.040346409649277035,0.0,0.21553340259924594,0.19049306763501744,0.0,0.0,0.07169986432381084,0.1921002662913247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061285568133751286,0.0,0.0,0.052261351313929054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04132068439104765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18358880533485428,0.11795312647496994,0.0,0.06326503530398837,0.0,0.06006798407067019,0.0,0.0,0.05321401197220805,0.0,0.0,0.048334162165744224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03555462906687473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06420522140320206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06275337981546378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06697241315247544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12416347881528192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15298570957387053,0.0,0.06624263933913913,0.06797227184758155,0.0,0.0,0.0611278954141818,0.0,0.05524215344206525,0.05536415980589925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056463381451903674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06814683055811292,0.0,0.1260464398293656,0.0,0.19910072160409795,0.0,0.0,0.14980581533402534,0.132984028175541,0.0,0.046387890080366236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058708882449249586,0.061296102329352,0.0,0.07122565449811652,0.0,0.06662499420211873,0.042392679706246224,0.09516030643407868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05972116885376017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705276733782286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628906794833263,0.0,0.06654089579953221,0.0,0.0,0.04007792048655515,0.0,0.06177104231374157,0.20150000605061852,0.0,0.053426408136300604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495580885295884,0.05695281802885185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07032073237694028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07003146659199362,0.2214035632833171,0.0,0.049960973692595965,0.0,0.0,0.13080383899517126,0.07161691623898049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502441445819201,0.0,0.050283838231629165,0.0,0.05759739256955814,0.0,0.07263767514263053,0.0,0.0,0.1229309381143844,0.14899837813919847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24445045200037974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05161904452015796,0.03689986108514005,0.0,0.2007293497298064,0.0,0.05624949005878577,0.057994300320963324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060306183167400586,0.0,0.04554485981447641,0.0,0.0,0.04444125326039283,0.0,0.0,0.3625827608831068
bipolarreddit,kaitlinpritch,2019/06/06,"thoughts on CBD? i’m curious to hear about yall’s experiences with using cbd. i don’t react well to weed so i’ve been looking for some other alternatives. i have tried cbd oil before and found that it helps me relax, but i’m curious if anyone has tried cbd joints or pens? i’m looking to buy some but want to see if its helped anyone else!",2.167083333333334,3.7013659861111137,4.003888888888889,87.73,76.6388888888889,7.022222222222222,21.722222222222207,7.793537801064563,0.7877888888888886,269,7,59,4,6,91,52,72,0.0,0.826,0.174,0.8403,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,14,15,7,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,3,5,4,2,8,12,2,1,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,5,0,30,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.334427479638414,0.24502937590614016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20349234164710395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19977256618560293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339268939831757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26220700559067417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269530564363442,0.0,0.3205838618805006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4016383246954431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19056531827186207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898521412733233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3247236213928917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20654202095093674,0.0,0.0,0.14105222608176168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150174975035558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,scurius,2019/06/06,"A poem about who I want to be to my friends 4am

​

You tell yourself that the pain won't end and the pills will never work

That thanatos is stronger than Thanos and that no one will love a fuck up like you.

Your body too fat, too scarred, your hair in the wrong places,

Your bachelor's the bastard child of education.

Even a 4.0 couldn't get you a job you tell yourself.

​

But your 3.0 is more than you know.

Ivy grad schools would take you,

But your mind tells you no and slashes at your beautiful tender heart again.

Your mind bleeds all day, the klonopin taken for the wrong reasons

Not giving you the fool's confidence to take too many.

​

*It's 4am but call me.* 

I'm sleeping but I've made exceptions in my phone for you.

Better drunk than dead you say.

Best neither.

​

My phone rings and I wake to take your call.

You're crying and sobbing.

Your tears fill my heart and I melt into hugs.

​

Soften the pain.

I'll take your bleeding on

and together our crying can harmonize

into a soft landing.

You're gonna stick it and I'll stick by your side.

​

Scream or howl, blame and curse

me or God, I've got your back.",2.523523214982444,4.6978325364806865,2.467493172063985,96.23544186500195,77.71244635193132,5.4380803745610615,23.037261022239555,6.351523495107088,0.2985896995708157,923,29,199,7,22,275,135,233,0.20800000000000002,0.6659999999999999,0.127,-0.9671,1,0,0,0,0,0,52.0,1,22,0,3,7,17,2,0,13,0,9,17,7,2,2,29,24,15,1,3,8,0,2,1,1,5,7,4,0,1,6,11,2,0,2,1,0,1,7,9,0,1,3,6,32,8,20,14,4,16,0,1,0,3,36,10,3,2,6,110,38,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4458284401786993,0.4999820600479333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05273260780477609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719688698582144,0.06065208083605444,0.0,0.07617521660746737,0.0,0.0,0.14005256408870692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15066045097103625,0.04422743767371234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06074016633877661,0.0,0.0,0.04529543048381122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05298355326481603,0.06339968741579595,0.03582941838476002,0.0657867142069602,0.0,0.0,0.05484846459109017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16253162649038444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805354637983982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03768893182261996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033503974802927425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0618947436889434,0.06489060336007449,0.0,0.06952780142916437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13848940370995955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05289194125603091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046470543868164266,0.0,0.1459446474442168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164990153058891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051008550659535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054536349266835066,0.0,0.06940506954131576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06862799325968046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20624988908528316,0.0,0.17982180787154511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04044935647305901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049925940531335866,0.0,0.0,0.04871617513928923,0.14995957544122807,0.4999820600479333,0.0
bipolarreddit,MoFoShoHo,2019/06/06,"Anyone gain weight on Vraylar for Bipolar? My psych prescribed me Vraylar for anxiety and bipolar. I’m a 31 yr old female. I have bipolar 2, severe anxiety and PTSD. I took Rexulti for several months and it was very effective in treating my anxiety, but I put on over 40 pounds and felt compelled to eat 4,500+ a day. After, I switched to Lamictal for several months and it worked well for anxiety but I broke out in an upper body rash (not SJS) and got off it because it was physically and mentally difficult to tolerate. Lamictal was weight neutral for me. I have taken around 16 scrips for my anxiety over the past decade+ and only 5 of those caused weight gain. Rexulti being the worst. I am terrified to start Vraylar if it also causes weight gain. I’m still trying to lose the weight I put on. I have researched weight gain and Vraylar and it’s a mixed bag. Can anyone with PERSONAL experience or MEDICAL experience weigh in. I wish the med was older so there would be more data on weight gain.",4.447812499999999,6.203323572916666,5.627000000000002,77.51800000000003,71.08333333333334,9.495,31.55,9.888512548439397,3.36094125,794,36,144,21,15,264,110,192,0.161,0.7,0.139,-0.4317,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,8,6,6,0,0,8,0,12,15,2,4,0,25,20,16,0,3,5,0,8,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,7,13,9,0,2,0,0,3,1,4,1,0,8,8,15,2,27,9,2,25,0,2,0,0,1,13,0,2,9,91,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06823580458827214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3263738109512309,0.0,0.0,0.11932495357024055,0.0,0.0,0.07595893504744612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052014420316947516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477883016032318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17530823908505674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05502872181255001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731060988564142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669319506492299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192710117205744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824363016676784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09545885429506752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477883016032318,0.08595776592176609,0.08598933707584049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621406232637825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953611450053063,0.0,0.0,0.06489487014926693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08145407771699413,0.0,0.07450406340675016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974245349336776,0.17155398638809105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891849623423218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060394742422605036,0.0,0.06814208616610465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09480120528843364,0.05793129064597422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040353939350598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7273353168302181,0.07671903317915632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812159958387842,0.0,0.0,0.0621189206799054,0.0,0.0,0.06061370476148574,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mollymilli0ns,2019/06/06,"Tips for productivity Does anyone have tips for getting shit done during depressive episodes?

Due to insurance issues I had to drop my psychiatrist and go off meds. Just met with my saint of a general practitioner who gave me some mood stabilisers to hold me over, but I'm still looking for a psych who will treat my attention issues. In the meantime, my productivity is just awful. Wondering if anyone else has this problem and how you get through it?",6.3685772357723565,8.206780573170741,6.7204878048780525,71.22186991869921,66.4390243902439,10.34471544715447,33.178861788617894,10.504223727775694,3.828115447154472,365,16,62,10,6,118,65,82,0.158,0.802,0.04,-0.8640000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,4,5,1,0,3,1,6,1,1,1,0,14,14,5,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,4,1,8,1,12,9,1,7,1,1,1,0,5,3,1,3,2,42,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3319047271226555,0.2431809976712825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044190139933852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20769622784314565,0.24287934514752696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19826558253560755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479987911900082,0.0,0.13488474879719664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4954387643531507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993042837032603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636291975831285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22710057096775835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24362421603402495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895385653866284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573831160938979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Dr_Julian_Helisent,2019/06/06,Medication discontinued There will be no more low doses of Haldol in my state for the foreseeable future which means I get to go on the medication merry go round. Please hold me while I crawl into the fetal position and cry.,9.367857142857146,8.129635785714285,9.738095238095235,62.648571428571465,60.19047619047619,13.161904761904767,32.904761904761905,12.161744961471696,4.070247619047619,181,5,31,5,2,61,37,42,0.159,0.722,0.12,-0.2247,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,4,6,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,6,4,1,9,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,2,21,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3617090158175098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17204015490112665,0.0,0.3742855836597999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35869276265031225,0.0,0.6634489873461765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3614609495560863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,suhbreenahawk,2019/06/06,"what are some ""ugly"" things yall do when having an episode -i smash my head against the wall
- i slash my wrists
- i rage at my parents; i'm incredibly hurtful
-i yell like a monster
- sometimes i need to break glass to release my anger if it's that bad
- i rip clothes, throw food away
-i start to hate everyone around me for
- i get vengeful for no reason
- i overrall can lack empathy and it scares me",0.7040740740740752,3.1221695925925954,1.8455432098765456,96.25794444444449,87.64197530864197,4.721481481481481,24.14938271604938,6.2581,0.532406419753086,311,13,68,3,10,98,65,81,0.3,0.6729999999999999,0.027999999999999997,-0.9741,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,2,7,3,1,3,0,4,3,2,1,0,7,9,3,0,3,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,0,1,16,1,9,9,2,8,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,2,3,43,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23627084827648726,0.0,0.0,0.2493610920167517,0.0,0.22160596188614606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25361028336010555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3209343882530777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13866558167898452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620370699811944,0.2723868596688229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841265072272761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12966574295780575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19679788387153416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947059943170168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27288531217592266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657213491123612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624969188728116,0.0,0.1878583081070804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763263703943336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Tinyasparagus,2019/06/06,"I Don't Think I Can Do This Again... I'm a stay at home mom to three kids...5, 3, and 5 months. My 3 year old has autism and does go to aba therapy...

Right after I had my youngest in January, I had my worst depressive episode. I ended up in a psych ward for a week, turned to drinking, and went to rehab. 

My husband quit his job and was there to help me out for a while, and now he has started to work again and I feel so overwhelmed again. 

I don't think I can do this anymore...I'm terrified that I will have a breakdown again..that I'm on my way to another one. 

I had actually gotten a great job offer but turned it down because my husband was afraid of my mental state in a fast paced job working close with an eye surgeon. 

I don't know how to handle my bad days like today.",3.6447305389221536,3.3062549401197643,4.913419161676647,89.58030838323354,71.45508982035929,8.117125748502994,27.47844311377245,7.554174236665415,1.21035377245509,593,18,143,6,10,198,103,167,0.077,0.8640000000000001,0.059000000000000004,-0.5635,3,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,3,7,7,0,2,8,0,16,4,1,1,0,15,28,10,0,0,1,3,1,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,4,9,1,0,4,1,0,2,3,5,0,2,7,2,21,2,21,20,1,30,0,2,1,0,7,10,0,0,16,88,25,6,0.0,0.0,0.15282817000864687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16421859672648922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13076229611504042,0.095467628389794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100009829493717,0.0,0.1348874350753796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704992946253092,0.0,0.0,0.1534175769139563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13870943227429194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07918641137935792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890047233895253,0.0,0.0,0.17266240145103792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497197055945752,0.0,0.15709198376750574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4662319525081782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606842310872416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765114355783282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578254266301287,0.0,0.0,0.18341902063378346,0.12500411813108198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16433520655458753,0.0,0.10612257334757363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665733599298432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337435603370592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108489297999534,0.16692476842365767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909648205953194,0.0,0.0,0.20069794246645492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14844738650846706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3406920819005345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243092414044508,0.1256226032850518,0.0,0.0,0.14517847025003772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22802699710226526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085131023933676
bipolarreddit,flozzatroz,2019/06/06,"Still got so much regret after 3 years I done some pretty reckless things when manic. I trashed my mums place, punched my cousin and my mums bf. I said some very hurtful things to people. I was a piece of shit.

I still regret it all but I never quite understood why I would talk so illogically and say some pretty random things. Like seriously random. Sometimes I would update my Facebook status then put a random picture with it with no connection. I provided no context for stuff I was sharing on there. I probably said some pretty random things in real life too. Sometimes with no connections. I would often plan on doing a lot of things but I am quite a  lazy individual in general which is why it didn’t happen. I had flights of ideas but nothing happened. I wanted a stupid tattoo, I wanted to join Scientology. I had a lot of random ideas but they weren’t really logical at all. Like they were not something I’d even think about doing when in a normal state. I find it hard to relate to my manic self. I can’t really describe it but I can’t really think of any examples of what I said. But all I can say was it was very random, incoherent, and jumbled. I would reach out to random people on Facebook and just say literal random words and sentences. I have no idea why.

Is this normal in a manic episode? I’m too ashamed to show my face anymore to some people. I was a cunt but I was also a very weird guy for a while. I’m trying to make sense of it but I can’t.",1.8955819209039573,4.1715682135593255,3.8050000000000033,85.29687853107349,80.42372881355931,6.2384180790960455,21.69774011299436,7.42949916751922,0.9178790960451976,1153,35,226,17,30,389,142,295,0.13699999999999998,0.7609999999999999,0.102,-0.8042,2,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,2,3,14,12,3,1,11,0,26,3,2,1,4,61,40,20,0,10,10,3,1,2,1,4,1,6,0,2,16,9,0,0,8,1,0,1,11,9,0,0,17,7,35,3,31,19,12,22,0,3,0,0,16,10,2,16,12,165,51,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265820434133939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061785785708006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901055988732624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09297812057395677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060010104279933425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304153114381159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07266653709985027,0.0,0.0,0.0899625836027585,0.16068885624430165,0.0,0.08138990742708188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726415610941763,0.3076990337772033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06417489267277801,0.08877615248339565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15448651983556955,0.0,0.0,0.0606476647610916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06679025194657827,0.0,0.07007441758340162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17804087937782684,0.08717961506221097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18896613652508407,0.0,0.09492608893593228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2773022945103231,0.09795907049103274,0.0,0.0,0.09133624695838664,0.0,0.1932749253628163,0.0,0.1034150066381776,0.17461570807685808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592770618284228,0.2167590839689225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478352824549706,0.0,0.09326326913220397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994605568521907,0.17971953088532713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451168239541193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10400937629773636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302730872795356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30180632887101216,0.11643482447316986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061685849224032765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22489929366874165,0.10717946927878404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459525738804133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25816844825202445,0.0,0.0,0.05850884399360026
bipolarreddit,shahshahshahisinpain,2019/06/06,"Here's a story, written by someone in a hypomanic state, that'll stop you from wanting to induce hypomania [tl;dr it's not going to go how you want it to, you'll do or say something that you regret, cons > pros big time and it's bad for your brain] You probably don't need a cautionary tale to use common sense, cause I'm pretty sure you are smarter than I am. But that's not exactly a high bar. I've never been accused of being a rocket scientist. Or a scientist of any kind. Or even a rocket. So let's go.


Bad stuff has been happening lately, so I've been sad. I really wanted to feel good and I also hadn't slept the night before. So, instead of using the methods my DBT for BP book taught me and taking an extra tab of seroquel, I thought, ""hey, let's induce hypomania""


Induce sounds so much better than trigger. Trigger makes me think of guns, which leads to death and that's sad. Induce usually means labor, which means babies are being born, which is awesome. Anyways, I took 120mg Vyvanse and drank two Redbulls. I usually feel pretty good on 60mg and one Redbull, so I thought my body was going to just get more of that familiar energy and my brain was going to go all Eye of the Tiger. 


Nope. I still felt tired. I still felt sad. I couldn't focus on work. Except for my hands and toes getting tingly for a bit and me peeing a lot, nothing physical either. Music sounded really good though. I listened and danced to ""The Other Side"", from The Greatest Showman, like 5 times on repeat. I love that movie. Psyched for the sequel.


Then it kicked in! But not the one we wish for. The other one. You know what I'm talking about? The one where you get anxious, you feel scared, you feel extra emotional and you blow money. I spent $32 combined to get my dad a father's day gift and then a birthday gift for my stepmom. That was good, that was responsible and that was where I should've stopped. But then I got myself a couple of t-shirts that I already own, cause it makes me look sort of like I lift. And then I bought some stuff for my brothers(thank god for Amazon's cancellation policy).


And then I got my bestfriend a $60 Lush package. Because I'm emotional that she's moving............ in August. Thankfully, she immediately made me cancel it. Cause, 1. she cares about me, 2. she's also bipolar and has been for twice as long, 3. she knew what I was up to yesterday and 4. she had just looked at my finances and knew that I could not afford it. I'm very lucky to have her in my life. She's the Rosa Diaz to my Jake Peralta. 


And that appreciation I just talked about, came forth, with all the emotion you get from hypo. She knows what it is though, so she was just like, ""uhuh, okay. Don't take any more stimulants and go to bed tonight. I'm serious.""


I was about to go home then and I started to feel pretty good. I thought the good hypo started. I was pumped to go to Crossfit. I was going to talk to the pretty girl I see there. That good feelings started. But then I went to get ready and saw that I had really bad dry scalp and flakes(don't judge me, it's genetics). They would not go away. So like a rational person, I had a full blown meltdown, cried, begged my best friend and parents to help, ordered a special shampoo and then took a shower where I put my current shampoo in and scrubbed it in till my scalp hurt. My hair was already falling out from lithium, but I took like an extra 1/8th off with the scrubbing. 


Oh yeah I also didn't sleep last night, cause that's one of those things that can happen in hypo. I have literally no memory of what I did the whole night. I also have no idea of where time is going. I came into the office at 7. It's 9 now. What have I been doing?


So in conclusion, here is what my attempt lead to: 1. Did not get anything productive done. 2. Scalped myself. 3. Would've spent a lot of money, if it wasn't for a bestfriend who has my best interests in her heart and Amazon having a great cancellation policy. 4. Didn't sleep two days in a row, which is really bad for you. I am actively getting dumber and I cannot afford that. My only brain cell is getting lonely. 5. Felt extreme emotions over the smallest things. If something real had happened, I would've probably lost it.


CONS > pros by an insane margin. The risk reward is not worth it.


All that being said. Kind of glad I did it. I feel better than I did when I was depressed. I'm paranoid now, but not suicidal though. And isn't that what we all strive towards? To survive through life, without wanting to kill ourselves. 


If you fell for that, here is an article about how bipolar people need to try to be as stable as possible, cause the swinging causes our brain to actively erode: https://medium.com/invisible-illness/brain-damage-fbb399d35eb4 I only did this cause I have like serious non bipolar issues and I thought it was a good idea. I'm making jokes about it and posting here, so that I don't freak out that my brain is literally decaying.


And sorry about the length of this post. You know why it's long.",1.7195934860374962,4.104544103206416,3.1463676886483256,89.11728925140001,81.91583166332666,5.734849137527393,21.751952503137122,7.034252958101416,0.6736799655385539,3917,124,791,50,107,1277,411,998,0.07200000000000001,0.78,0.14800000000000002,0.9965,5,2,3,1,0,0,176.0,3,16,1,12,46,52,1,2,46,3,73,27,18,24,7,143,169,75,3,14,27,3,12,6,1,3,6,5,3,2,62,41,2,2,29,4,7,25,24,19,0,8,60,22,109,33,104,98,21,102,0,8,5,1,48,31,0,11,48,524,171,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457961109216878,0.1370794317566508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05828357906908005,0.0,0.0,0.048412157602651495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03526470656944272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040262191040279935,0.0,0.1431232354809485,0.02612304208626649,0.0,0.036465097144429366,0.0,0.08994402369107184,0.07580072059458952,0.04678482675637,0.04760047990688683,0.0,0.28703148030160325,0.0,0.09802577365498434,0.043691909366928516,0.3081558090860093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03421496231365107,0.04741648507899494,0.047072460628266234,0.05527381088179955,0.0,0.03690958079523613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0438539186648595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19281728148317695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02830427433805402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516758082723217,0.0,0.12343798693991098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03310843965923309,0.0,0.20150225063604485,0.0,0.29225497784289445,0.2875472692556545,0.06854757631068807,0.04724603780252173,0.0,0.0,0.11368539160481905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0507814993218593,0.028723738622758024,0.045276982389160655,0.04298546609556664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04587546365422388,0.09675257158869666,0.0,0.04472782826008617,0.0,0.0,0.04741095090273277,0.08925046787162423,0.07065334324597577,0.03493125019099667,0.04834051508098886,0.0,0.0,0.08764103395929186,0.060537264169789815,0.1256160743953502,0.0,0.0,0.0758478418610871,0.07197214601984325,0.0,0.04677956119601395,0.07286487653079007,0.03867687726428658,0.040548934403478884,0.08581495542914458,0.0,0.0,0.09335985673091156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04554639488105275,0.031502188454550634,0.06355052372185026,0.03305119301422678,0.0,0.0,0.12064507203207005,0.0,0.04111900439126355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14519290447556238,0.0651839014551027,0.0,0.0,0.04758364245176739,0.0,0.0,0.029709159998891687,0.037417946256305006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048310782968409564,0.08208344546701664,0.17438930354748236,0.0924064518250172,0.0,0.0,0.04307951505731488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04877656444162248,0.10981197171031767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04076340796056141,0.03407875307855004,0.04290374105645999,0.0,0.03414862095986622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576872005604907,0.0,0.03630955675908675,0.0659813000738695,0.0,0.0479708860568995,0.09099559632586462,0.0,0.06844558004939097,0.07165474223801993,0.0,0.0,0.09811380785903508,0.04687467712614686,0.0,0.04038883347834793,0.0,0.06444086501120136,0.10333184745507618,0.0,0.07890732810798122,0.0,0.0,0.05693980526664441,0.027458735940688674,0.12630977856374967,0.13608328880731005,0.07496450712717205,0.04925369288005377,0.0,0.0,0.14283515189565466,0.029094653644797783,0.0,0.08372311298138968,0.0,0.0,0.07402317745641669,0.09439395764092808,0.03535855271272605,0.10110421030840117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03972554207460507,0.03866853873356543,0.047844303898416624,0.049279308697136114,0.04130915975391869,0.0,0.0311977941768178,0.0,0.0,0.0913255026687038,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Paul_muaDWEEB,2019/06/06,"Just got a job AND I managed to apply and interview for it during a bad depressive episode! Hey all! This is my first actual post on this subreddit, but I've been struggling BP 2 and all of your posts really help me feel like I can figure this out. I've had a really bad bout of depression recently -- though it tends to get mixed with my hypomanic episodes in a weird way -- but I'm happy to say I've gotten a job! I've been off of work and struggling to graduate for the last year or so, and everyone's posts have really helped me get the gumption to get up and try when things get hard.   


I just wanted to thank everyone, I don't know anyone close to me with BP so this subreddit has been my secret place to read when things get tough and I know people won't get it if I try to explain it. I really credit reading everyone's experiences with giving me the gumption to believe I can do it, apply for jobs, and then get myself out of bed and dress for the interview. Thank you again everyone, as indirect as it was I really appreciate everyone for posting and the mods for putting it all together. Things got hard and I didn't think I was good enough for anything, and you guys gave me perspective and enough ""just keep trying"" to get through it. Thank you.",6.7125874125874105,5.663773071146249,7.39130434782609,76.73371237458196,65.32411067193675,11.73718455457586,32.505016722408016,11.051253699011982,3.34608385527516,989,33,204,25,13,330,126,253,0.115,0.7609999999999999,0.124,0.7569,3,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,4,0,2,9,15,0,2,10,0,15,0,0,0,3,39,40,25,0,2,7,0,3,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,15,19,0,1,7,2,1,1,3,8,0,1,11,4,24,7,34,28,5,22,0,2,0,0,15,8,0,3,9,131,39,11,0.0,0.0,0.08374930651352998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06000831832644901,0.0,0.07062369974223369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14331456847427906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669132903101757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14783569212812905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773528954111327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4100301274731339,0.0,0.08394979703484556,0.0,0.0,0.04339387848418981,0.06131082530742375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299963899751884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.358705114815793,0.08232770701002642,0.0,0.07198291855066571,0.13727842702705886,0.0,0.0,0.08497667882059025,0.0,0.0913584761416993,0.1537582347169638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504855076411435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554934911201236,0.07628200357451237,0.0,0.0,0.0943303940322114,0.0699558954290989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041928001033298135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059497752837501174,0.0,0.0896650968453974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3287727118928473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627421102902771,0.0,0.0,0.1716892489779299,0.0,0.27489693211045385,0.0,0.08473827892846414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824862189821061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17943832220588854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370384439518696,0.0,0.0,0.17104777417957825,0.05499088780329877,0.08431908976026065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17480129140461653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050619685275386433,0.06812103266208519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062479001327428466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055266167834421086
bipolarreddit,Sicxor627,2019/06/06,"Is life really down hill from here? I’m 20, living 500 miles away from my family for college and set to graduate next year and get a boring 9-5, settle for that because law school is too expensive, and I’ll probably die a housewife in the Midwest with crippling debt in a world that is rapidly dying of climate change. It sounds a little dramatic but honestly that’s how I feel right now, and if my life turns out any different it’ll be a miracle. 

I’m realizing that my childhood was shit and that it’ll never get better because it’s over. I didn’t even realize I had hoped that. Is this really my life now, as soon as I graduate, it’s boring monotony for the rest of my life? I am so dissociated from myself, I see myself do things and I feel like my mother and I hate that. I moved to a city with a unique fashion sense and spent a lot of money on the clothes to achieve that style, and now I fit in but I don’t feel like myself. The next few years of my life involve a lot of little steps, graduate school, get this training, get this shitty job, move to a cheaper state, go to law school if I’m ever lucky, probably never fall in love because I pretty clearly have intimacy issues, probably never adopt kids like I always imagined, and then the world going to end because corporations can’t stop shoving oil blood money up their asses. 

Absolutely nothing is helping this depressive episode. I thought I hadn’t crashed, I was sleeping a lot but being very productive at school at work. But today I realized i’ve been running on a adrenaline to finish final exams, and now that I’m almost done I think the depressive thoughts are finally hitting. I was hypomanic for half of April and all of May. Now I don’t even know how to live with myself. All of life seems so pointless. I’m stuck in the rat race. I really am. I had a 15 year life plan all figured out since middle school. As a senior in highschool we were supposed to write letters to ourselves that our teacher was gonna mail us in 10 years. We were supposed to describe our current goals and plans, and in 10 years we could reflect and see if they came true. I didn’t even turn my letter in because I was terrified to receive a letter detailing my life plan if i didn’t follow it. And I’m already detailing from it because I have no other choice. My very high achieving, Type A personality goals are not coming true because this fucking illness hit me in college and stained my medical records and ruined everything.",5.612518669382213,5.934773731160897,6.4141812627291275,78.22690665308895,67.28920570264765,9.31652410047522,33.06727766463001,9.21078282632365,2.870040271554651,1966,82,375,34,30,650,242,491,0.133,0.78,0.087,-0.9724,4,0,0,0,1,0,44.0,6,0,2,9,16,18,3,0,23,0,36,16,4,2,10,75,72,34,2,6,9,1,3,3,0,4,10,1,0,2,24,28,0,1,14,0,5,11,12,8,0,1,20,7,50,10,54,43,8,70,0,3,2,3,20,29,3,12,31,242,74,20,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023151447828885,0.0,0.07739730670176896,0.0,0.05835913742905063,0.0,0.0,0.04769518496423488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06589549507436665,0.0,0.0,0.2992816641748651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06202998249122967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021740394829352,0.0,0.0,0.07419505482276713,0.06041633362064111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05599824108810247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12081682773081938,0.0,0.1455811052937784,0.07327765306938612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177393000000609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06212006913156039,0.0,0.0,0.13897337343321542,0.06344242627577272,0.0,0.0,0.06303411075119666,0.0,0.06611839459582611,0.0,0.10638927580869884,0.1002109749353547,0.0,0.15366208575698118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06484000954528647,0.1465735826004142,0.0,0.0797203114357703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06924521509990536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047010977992721435,0.07410300067927891,0.0,0.06966131125108799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320422238946123,0.06959959546677542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038545153749787606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3963155397007705,0.10279536703925143,0.14059027878175093,0.12386352473262235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17888248211797864,0.06330087631621749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065508558440411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490878743552205,0.0,0.0,0.16228064123177285,0.0,0.14918180137813572,0.0,0.0,0.06729780673427874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061240434996657336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07135397500746309,0.2268568376588075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13479360016145964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059896137399006184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3549091135131496,0.11177932577022676,0.06384958175017065,0.0,0.0,0.07199404880357944,0.05801758876906645,0.0,0.07018709270359691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05863720518186215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0465955349241902,0.04494059941044392,0.0,0.11136099968248728,0.0,0.0,0.0664811452336579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15257661525415156,0.0,0.0,0.08436550285643732,0.0,0.0,0.11573981822237032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05106016437239845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22582784246739224
bipolarreddit,FishSpecies,2019/06/06,"Problems with trying to be better I've been trying to drag my ass out of depression lately. Trying to make good habits and stick to what helps: taking meds, brushing teeth, keeping things clean, exercising, finding a job, and so on. 

​

Unfortunately it just feels like I'm coming full circle. Every time I do this, I swear it will be different and I'll do things differently, but no matter how much I pace myself, I end up taking it too far. I quickly transition from doing a few basic things every day, to having to do 90 things a day for an unrealistic minimum amount of time. I start off brushing my teeth each day, and within a few weeks I'm trying to learn 2 new languages while reading a book each week and planning my PhD on the other side of the world. 

​

Give it 3 weeks after that and I'm burnt out, dreading waking up, in desperate need of a holiday and struggling to keep things together.

​

What advice do you guys have for creating healthy habits without ending up pushing things too far and getting burnt out?",5.5043073593073615,6.9035074393939375,5.897431457431459,77.97090909090913,68.04040404040404,8.08138528138528,29.294372294372288,8.418075326091056,2.21635238095238,835,30,146,12,14,268,123,198,0.121,0.78,0.099,-0.6764,3,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,2,7,7,0,2,9,0,11,5,4,2,0,28,25,12,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,15,15,0,2,3,4,0,2,2,4,0,0,1,3,11,3,29,21,7,34,0,1,0,1,4,16,1,0,17,98,26,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949789517340639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3159359599586626,0.3543118784437308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596209508190447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372587588480969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18805042548235115,0.0,0.08371490056731183,0.0,0.0,0.20309857677035456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17217387704201542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16378389485536154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04914529326768386,0.06943694814730343,0.0,0.0,0.08883551917704198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05078097614235845,0.09323940257006144,0.0,0.08152351820142488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623946850183608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06514852975615483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645218010537007,0.1727848059528396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096414894503472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04748512875289399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487918408677205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796301005064997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145035292478327,0.07206971279205028,0.0,0.09387264621085534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300358780695828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722245149166564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879593441012663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161051830712142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14615881542552134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3874368145222446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11335171203098095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639592197404734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338946634385481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09369361902275647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3543118784437308,0.0
bipolarreddit,shatter-me,2019/06/06,"Zoloft Side Effects? I've been on Zoloft for a few years and recently my Doctor increased my 50mg dose to 100mg. I'm on 75mg to titrate up and will go to 100mg in a few days. 

I've got kind of an emotional numbness going on. I can react (more or less) appropriately to life at the moment, but I don't remember how long this lasted when I first started taking it.

Anyone else experience this? Any idea how long it may last?",2.268571428571427,3.4574167777777767,4.370952380952383,86.625,75.66666666666667,7.365079365079365,23.968253968253972,7.957251820313856,1.1021587301587306,330,10,74,5,7,114,66,90,0.02,0.937,0.043,0.212,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,4,0,5,6,0,4,0,11,11,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,1,0,1,2,0,5,1,12,7,5,21,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,2,11,42,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14690883709726496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510542570997314,0.22134981482461505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13932245425345138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22111740792718007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180466608824731,0.2430063754438943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21132027322923025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18375629487451606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455513749415792,0.0,0.17278013606033962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438732830977749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22496357730307928,0.0,0.3521890334037741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15258944667232704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3823621823547507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21330505717250312,0.0,0.24472159177057115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529082170395492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16242881256686093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13911721170993116
bipolarreddit,enimicmic,2019/06/06,"My doctor won't fill my prescription So I've had issues with my psychiatrist in the past, especially when it came to medications. The pharmacy says she requires ""prior authorization"" for all prescriptions, which I understand. When the pharmacy calls them, the issue is typically resolved. This time, though, the office has ignored multiple calls from my pharmacy. The pharmacy called to let me know that they're trying to give me my medication, but they can't without the authorization. I have called twice a day every day for THREE days now. No calls have been returned and the pharmacy still needs the authorization.

I'm on a maintenance dosage so I only see my doctor every two to three months. This is the second month since my last appointment. I made myself an appointment with a new psychiatrist back in February, but I was waitlisted until July. I told my current office I would call later to schedule another appointment (just wanna keep it in case the new appointment falls through).

I know this post is a mess, I'm just so stressed out and I don't know what to do.

Side note, I am not currently off meds, my lamictal dosage changed a million times but they always asked to see me after two weeks, so I have a few extra pills at varying dosages. I'm cutting them and taking multiple pills to keep my dose accurate. My reserve is running low, though, and with all the stress this is causing I am horrified of what will happen when I run out of mood stabilizers.",6.14054573703632,7.640326833948343,6.5187570402019785,73.7305884637794,66.63837638376384,10.428510390367062,32.34433870654496,10.5429385540328,3.678250184501845,1176,49,204,32,19,380,153,271,0.095,0.9,0.005,-0.9731,2,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,4,2,14,8,1,2,19,0,21,7,0,2,2,33,40,17,0,3,7,0,0,0,0,3,7,1,0,0,10,10,0,4,5,0,0,5,6,6,0,7,6,3,33,1,29,30,4,42,0,1,2,0,15,10,0,0,26,146,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006547355479285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089849429037062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995577346455143,0.0,0.0,0.07398975940006226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5895283365454959,0.1100537930716416,0.0,0.09884780992494048,0.10179146679525047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861681571566146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19697719973725747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16214451947633085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230613388046363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508992479863052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20086420019309487,0.0,0.17105533702672918,0.0,0.0,0.158645387381075,0.07843481233383186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839481859014317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091048789919734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10688236716644342,0.1938696538565944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15360900106251246,0.0,0.0,0.0713483395897007,0.0,0.18586607828898488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318213705296661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185600441601924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215529941981836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652061084764747,0.0,0.0,0.15335498510938592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959688789009065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684403216175112,0.0,0.2204468741071487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234792808941769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18907775937793486,0.0,0.11221713157642116,0.0,0.0,0.09194546335888897,0.0,0.0653292878459796,0.0,0.18799231687367604,0.10017182335776653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771845075585994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09275580390769993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683542541797229,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fatgnuts,2019/08/24,"Has anyone experienced a change in accent while manic? Recently I had my first manic episode in about 6 months and while manic I started speaking with a southern accent. I am type 1 and I do experience psychosis so I was thinking that was what caused it, but nothing like this has happened to me before. Has anyone else experienced this?",4.3239247311828,7.036549887096777,5.188387096774196,76.26924731182797,74.32258064516128,6.713978494623658,29.68817204301075,7.793537801064563,2.3435397849462367,271,12,43,4,6,88,45,62,0.055,0.945,0.0,-0.4633,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,8,0,0,1,0,6,11,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,3,7,1,5,8,0,8,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,7,34,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3916876897833668,0.28698296647603605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383340187072545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28772724024902196,0.2962956674926556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23397734844019544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739795329664172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382424699723285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476806441528404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13683671130914507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22356334443164147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687517195688646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27655283163533984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198247528507494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794689003417453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,amidskycayla,2019/08/24,Last night I had these feelings I couldn’t shake. I was trying to sleep but all I could think about was that I truly don’t see a future for myself. I don’t know if I’m starting to feel suicidal but I legitimately didn’t see me living too long and it scared me. It might be cause I read someone say something about only a fraction of people surviving this disorder. I’m terrified. I have never not seen some kind of future for myself.,1.7723096129837683,3.9999047078651735,3.6464419475655454,86.53260923845195,80.57303370786515,6.202746566791513,21.124843945068665,7.3871296695380915,0.7876357053682903,345,10,69,5,9,116,61,89,0.228,0.701,0.07200000000000001,-0.9476,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,2,2,0,11,1,1,1,2,16,21,4,1,3,4,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,4,1,0,1,6,2,0,0,5,6,13,1,8,12,2,8,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,3,7,48,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22227817036874264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727589517591668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479861047747905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21881282233145827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22532272770274545,0.11891481281943367,0.17637564850469126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910643287914793,0.19148630843133316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295411707962072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688282182469588,0.0,0.0,0.20305459726561256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645640054155988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15000815409362955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164349583692824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172071201047643,0.21663052741412828,0.0,0.3448479590283709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165326682925595,0.0,0.1833350248068833,0.16657712687178405,0.0,0.0,0.15315233232221118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23668066649109185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386452626853392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469053748881632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Josh261995,2019/08/24,"Seroquel question Hi all

First question on this Reddit so go easy on me !! :P

I have quite bad OCD/Depression with previous episodes of psychosis, for this psychosis about 5 years ago I was given Quetiapine(Seroquel) and at it's peak I was on 200MG but at the moment I've got myself down to 75MG. It really has worked wonders and has made me able to function in day to day life and to control my thoughts and ideas.

I have recently dropped to 75mg and have became absolutely petrified of developing the rare side effect Tardive Dyskinesia, I had this episode of obsessing about it a couple of years ago and I remember my doc telling me it was incredibly rare and told me the dose I was on at the time 100Mg acted more as a anti histamine than a Anti-P. I have again been getting myself in a state about this worrying about it and I'm sure I don't need to explain what it's like to people on here what if feels like to get so anxious about something.

I was just hoping someone on here with some superior knowledge of Quetiapine could help calm me down and make me feel a bit better

Thanks in advance",5.398755760368665,6.107800188940092,6.007073732718897,79.60203917050694,67.84792626728111,8.964976958525344,32.08986175115207,9.04235418022936,2.629042396313364,879,36,171,15,14,286,130,217,0.09,0.753,0.157,0.9407,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,7,11,10,0,1,9,0,15,2,0,4,2,34,32,14,0,4,3,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,12,11,0,1,11,0,0,3,1,2,0,1,12,2,20,8,37,19,4,31,0,0,0,0,7,15,0,6,13,114,32,1,0.15184415959304598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692013714538101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17154067961847286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678353072541004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342938196753051,0.1657744949830675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17030613655456178,0.1212352057633285,0.16801267446763174,0.0,0.19585384236722247,0.0,0.13078315215806388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15355393899350508,0.10847749795316976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12915856458022007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15866461250159586,0.0,0.08629653514675904,0.0,0.121443645654522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177793943770493,0.0,0.0,0.15081551204406055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17141357364592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10725202048586258,0.14836677286480368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14367861524512346,0.10135715561758103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125905203278836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526962129910747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34020041982529986,0.16150495459425446,0.0,0.0,0.09727525682722676,0.0,0.14992778898222675,0.0,0.17200983256904498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286570636702654,0.11689705248916715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14311132341463076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327184882865737,0.13979770124704774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205473015596622,0.08854155055709012,0.0,0.0,0.14509360162965906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16466851384046952,0.11054435663895,0.15420511475764606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955653207431881
bipolarreddit,td4k,2019/08/24,Angry So today as I was leaving work a coworker was “joking/playing around” or whatever and pulled on my headphones and they now seem to be broken. I just bought these and honestly I have never felt this mad in a while. What should I do?,3.084574468085105,4.950327191489362,4.30739361702128,85.10875000000001,74.95744680851064,7.253191489361702,24.51595744680851,8.07648339933343,1.4757702127659569,186,6,36,3,4,61,40,47,0.207,0.732,0.061,-0.7992,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,1,4,2,1,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,1,10,9,7,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,4,1,6,1,5,3,0,8,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,4,31,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37327365099405146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.402602118509837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4439873810688204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233967271343163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3817229019463108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3974556291159764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30526173521936145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,attypos,2019/08/24,"does anyone crash after a manic episode? i have hypomania, so my highs aren't so severe as most. however, when i do have an episode of mania the day or time i come down hits hard.
i am exhausted and just want to sleep and have absolutely no energy (i also have a fibromyalgia so that's there)
does anyone else have that?? i have always wonder about others 
(also my first post hi everyone it feels nice to not feel alone ٩ʕ◕౪◕ʔو )",0.9536363636363632,3.287345272727272,3.262454545454545,87.34618181818182,84.9090909090909,6.701818181818182,17.89090909090909,7.908726449838941,0.7135190909090903,336,8,70,7,10,115,66,88,0.105,0.762,0.133,0.3435,1,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,9,2,0,0,4,0,9,2,1,0,0,11,15,10,0,1,3,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,3,8,1,7,14,1,9,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,3,5,47,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22139337977833307,0.0,0.34189142925019944,0.17786744154745432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29893528161280725,0.2190248408088616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841373804032884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13785906434184506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3741298347779421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17857105640892665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042591344738484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161693852904681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818261888513739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19148912383012445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22585171273027546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047252905039675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24149066776465355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21391677736875464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464657489118952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12608260233714794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318162050867016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Okay_then_now_what,2019/08/24,"Lessons learned with medication I am diagnosed Bipolar I for about 3 years. In the past year I have finally been relatively stable and happy with my current medication combo: Welbutrin (bupropion), Seroquel (Quetiapine), and Lamictal
(Lamotrigine). 

I was on 300mg Welbutrin for a while, went down in the spring to 150mg and recently went up to 300mg again. I'm proud because I noticed a few warning signs that I ignored last year which led into a depressive and suicidal episode. This time I hope I stopped it early. 

After having experienced periods of tough side effects with this medication, I feel it working and lifting me already, and without such debilitating side effects (racing heart and poor appetite). I'm curious if this is because i have been on this dosage in the past, so I am used to it. Does anybody have a similar experience? 

The whole reason I went down to 150mg was because I thought ""I'm not bipolar, I dont need to be on meds"" and my pdoc listened and was happy to help me ""challenge"" whether or not I need meds. Now that I'm going back to my dosage and feeling good about it, I an thinking maybe this is truly the right combo for me. 

Im curious and would like to hear about your experiences. How long does finding the ""right"" medication combination last for you? How many and which medications were a total no go? Is the trial and error period ever over? Do the side effects of a medication get easier after you have changed the dosage before?

Lots of rambling and questions. Thank you for taking the time to read.",6.9926715686274505,7.360426763888893,7.610808823529414,70.67095588235296,64.34722222222221,10.526470588235297,37.77450980392157,10.328600350310266,4.055273039215686,1220,60,213,27,17,405,155,288,0.079,0.789,0.132,0.9409,1,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,4,0,7,11,11,0,0,17,0,20,10,1,8,2,50,42,21,1,5,6,0,2,1,0,1,9,2,0,0,13,18,0,2,12,1,1,6,5,3,0,0,10,5,26,8,37,30,4,47,0,1,0,0,8,16,0,5,26,146,39,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229498650906907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127934559091832,0.0,0.16952424779076328,0.0,0.07887950854029588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806261297153293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984099375973648,0.0940869219706656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16224198431640996,0.0,0.10864183125061216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08385100743866647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813536399689212,0.0,0.0,0.09374218989725937,0.0,0.0,0.101546563177156,0.08472465575652434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04843108660250253,0.0,0.10536527083873992,0.07775101760717214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973583352850031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447783086818424,0.10984804712249488,0.06213378170992182,0.0,0.0,0.09207042464788036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013017620575457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15112313217489176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04528775454247467,0.0,0.0,0.08203516455952464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880886245597306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398162527052736,0.09312799959641996,0.0,0.2059340440786981,0.5603032974651465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13746937403740758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10553773972363688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17698221852482052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384341999764504,0.0,0.09272348279994637,0.0,0.0,0.09530939131773043,0.09152848411295136,0.0,0.0,0.15832784959264345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750001089987553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139700108437416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06969765830956562,0.0,0.0,0.08534422980875395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059397389990778135,0.0,0.07359217294247344,0.10810636184945543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006165231408477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577970289998576,0.0,0.10349445013164306,0.0,0.08935794704442344,0.0,0.0674855372649029,0.0,0.0,0.06585028179294017,0.0,0.0,0.1790841858690626
bipolarreddit,Emilz1991,2019/08/24,"Is it a good mood or a warning sign? What my doctor said: I mentioned in a post yesterday that my doctor gave me a breakdown on how to differentiate between hypomania/mania and what may just be a good mood.  A couple people requested that I share that info so I decided to make a post. 

So one of these three things HAS to be present but more than one may be present:

1. You felt so good or hyper that other people thought you were not your normal self or you were so hyper that you got into trouble.

2. You were so irritable that you shouted at people or started fights or arguments. (Note: just being irritable is not enough, there should have been a consequence)

3. You felt much more self confident than usual.

At least three of the following must be present;

1. YOU GOT MUCH LESS SLEEP THAN USUAL AND FOUND YOU DIDN’T REALLY MISS IT (this is a hallmark sign, note: if you got much less sleep than usual and did miss it this is not applicable)

2. You were much more talkative or spoke much faster than usual

3. Thoughts raced through your head or you couldn’t slow your mind down (note: not applicable if you successfully slowed your mind down)

4. You were so easily distracted by things around you that you had trouble concentrating or staying on track 

5. You had much more energy than usual

6. You were much more active or did more things than usual (note: not applicable if you had more than usual to do, so you crammed)

7. You were much more social or outgoing than usual, for example you telephoned friends in the middle of the night 

8. You were more interested in sex than usual 

9. You did things that were UNUSUAL for you that other people might have thought were excessive, foolish, or risky

10. You spent money to the extent that it got you or your family in trouble

Important: these must have occurred at the same time AND caused a problem for you I,e. Being unable to work, having family/money/legal issues, getting into trouble/arguments/fights



This may not be news to all of you but I personally found it really helpful to have this list to consult. This way if I’m feeling confident and energetic for GOOD reasons I have a handy dandy key to assure myself I’m not hypomanic and on the way to mania. Much love, guys",3.5017497291440947,5.7966459788732445,4.514131455399063,82.15371072589383,75.1267605633803,7.6556157457565925,24.77284218129289,8.5409612609427,1.8120192127121704,1761,59,329,35,39,572,182,426,0.1,0.753,0.147,0.9741,2,0,0,0,2,0,53.0,0,34,0,2,12,20,1,1,17,0,45,7,3,4,4,68,70,32,0,10,27,0,3,0,1,7,2,3,0,4,30,9,0,0,11,0,2,1,9,8,0,4,33,6,43,10,47,22,25,41,0,2,0,2,51,16,0,20,19,252,73,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057478586163836914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632840309824581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144248948623916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13217473523447273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06671528094481738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06086830420473303,0.0,0.0326471669678336,0.0,0.123989467228051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158942382929504,0.049884535901805416,0.0,0.0337337493924224,0.0,0.0,0.21662395184258693,0.2065614729444772,0.0,0.0,0.06393177836912071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626467758328801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04327810024600349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673914862075907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582745092284037,0.0,0.04309917419926069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849570193490813,0.13038913409336608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4271795531316756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060592037247934175,0.06326224517565747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750494714393757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17905134447058058,0.056377675982502325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367525091752167,0.0,0.0,0.0617821862045516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08272693158621464,0.06638593818563024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06141828817116984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13471555124720996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292278596915003,0.06581823131417867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045701067346614346,0.06882015096866356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17158258071359234,0.0,0.0,0.15377767215883176,0.0376497119328273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6400058316830542,0.0,0.0,0.10250103493978403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04700576347567605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Sandpapergate,2019/08/24,"I only ever feel worse after being social I put on a brave face and head out with friends. There are moments when I'm with people where I feel good, or at least forget how shit I feel. But I get home and feel more alone than when I left. The silence is louder.",2.7435454545454547,3.6424829454545455,3.717954545454546,92.8969318181818,74.0909090909091,5.5,19.204545454545453,3.1291,-0.544,202,3,45,0,4,65,43,55,0.18100000000000002,0.6629999999999999,0.156,-0.1263,0,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,6,4,1,0,2,0,3,3,3,1,1,14,9,7,0,0,2,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,4,6,3,7,8,2,11,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,1,5,30,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589589390022908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261693002883725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5056970964140408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19317499269048327,0.0,0.13063200197213715,0.0,0.0,0.20971594481778488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566061481054215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25080363750976137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716617507982396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19016147871551967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733415052081992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513523769757482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566554370423024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548773106367989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548051424079953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mcridewithcheese,2019/08/24,"Insecure about my diagnosis I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 while I was in inpatient last week (and again by my psychiatrist yesterday), but I’ve been incredibly weary about telling anybody. I’ve had the feeling I’m bipolar for a few months now, but I always tried to hide my feelings of mania/depression from other people and delegitimized my feelings because I didn’t feel like it was valid. Now that I’m diagnosed I still feel invalidated as if I’m just making up my problems and they aren’t real. I tried telling some of my close high school friends and they replied with the expected, “What? Nah you can’t be, you don’t seem like it at all.” I told my mom while I was in inpatient that they were giving me meds for bipolar disorder and she didn’t seem to take it very seriously either. I feel like I should start being more open about my mood swings, but now I’m worried that people will think I’m just faking it for attention or validation. I’m worried that my college friends will think I’m crazy or full of shit. I really want to tell my girlfriend but I don’t want her to view/treat me differently. I know she will understand, but I just feel embarrassed/insecure about the whole thing. Any advice on how to handle this situation?",4.226065680730752,5.9544605495867815,5.1269551979121335,80.99057633753809,71.60330578512395,8.896389734667247,29.26576772509787,9.414487439383343,2.629558677685951,991,40,193,23,19,323,133,242,0.14400000000000002,0.7490000000000001,0.107,-0.8485,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,3,0,13,11,1,1,4,0,19,6,1,2,1,45,46,17,0,6,12,1,7,3,3,4,5,0,0,0,12,9,0,0,14,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,10,7,34,5,25,30,7,21,0,0,0,0,17,9,1,6,15,125,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11735353732674385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09992703700755597,0.0,0.0,0.08166739131121625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320760785022841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343596690810017,0.2437838330702384,0.0,0.125471675433749,0.13763703823305046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42505857685709975,0.1715889960351553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18556718310998932,0.0,0.0,0.11520419535126007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12688489956267174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06599999888448692,0.09789186333107427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760141924445794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016304257362132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13339630411337305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406515272381739,0.09585712575198103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16651479774646702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149128287263524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366921811836362,0.07693468218289598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12154057678958505,0.0,0.2186564023919318,0.0,0.0,0.12327378875099497,0.0,0.13498961848839686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850024780156791,0.0,0.09590646385651032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09029502689025773,0.0,0.3148998537497785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797844853073279,0.15390155297921548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475405454828012,0.0,0.1630705939632001,0.0,0.0,0.12502109905008718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908934237432183,0.14166798330420427,0.0,0.09633139980043798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340796001513094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24392064090723464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Mad_Squid,2019/08/24,"I've been pretty hypomanic last night and nothing on TV was holding my attention so I made a tour for my new bedroom with stupid commentary https://imgur.com/a/EbLtVnC

I don't know hypomanic me is kinda weird. Maybe I'm just glad to have moved out of my parents house and no longer needing to share a room with my brother. My masturbation life sure has improved haha",6.149411764705883,7.9641798235294115,6.025764705882356,76.08394117647059,66.94117647058823,8.969411764705884,32.71764705882353,9.3871,3.0852435294117653,300,13,52,6,5,94,56,68,0.092,0.6859999999999999,0.222,0.8687,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,2,1,6,1,0,1,1,13,10,3,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,5,0,1,2,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,0,8,4,8,7,0,7,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,3,29,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32939063982155115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15688522110007344,0.23269374063888895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016338145742022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27011581817642405,0.0,0.0,0.2867900138441982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034062891977389,0.0,0.2116701950766317,0.0,0.2757058487681827,0.0,0.2678914815749168,0.0,0.2739133266296936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3169773682528844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29042260975484224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269049309450147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Odramabama,2019/08/24,"Getting my shit back together. I've had a weird summer. I hadn't had a real break from school since January and had classes until the end of June. My boyfriend decides it'd be cool to go to my first music festival as a gift. I used to rave a lot but not actual festivals with car camping. 

Well, he decides to take a stupid amount of shroom tea with a stupid amount of what they claim to be acid but I wouldn't be surprised if it was some sketchy research chemical. My bf has BP I, so he was on lithium when he dosed this shit. He had a major episode, six people had to hold him down, and he had to be taken to the hospital since the ativan wasn't working on bringing him down. His face was all bloody, he had been trying to bite himself, and had dislocated his shoulder from fighting against his restraints. 

After that the relationship fell apart. It was a really traumatic experience to see a loved one like that but he just thought it was funny. We eventually broke up at the beginning of this month, he moved out, my roommates moved out (unrelated reason), and now i have a new tenant who i see maybe once every two days. I'm in charge of taking care of the house for my parents which includes finding tenants. 

I've been so alone and just kinda reeling from the break up. I love my house but it is so big and empty right now. I did that whole thing where I lost contact with all my friends because I was having all my emotional/social needs met by my boyfriend and didn't feel inclined to actually stay in touch with people who care about me. So I'm trying to slowly rebuild those relationships...

The hardest part is the drinking. Averaging a fifth of vodka every other day and has created one hell of a vicious cycle of being depressed from drinking so i decide to drink. I haven't been taking my meds regularly (they upset my stomach so i didn't want to take them when hungover and already nauseous) and I just haven't been doing anything... I'm in a full blown depressive episode that i'm making worse with every bad decision i make.

My first class of the semester is on Tuesday and i just do not feel ready. I can't focus and getting out of bed is difficult unless it's to pour myself a drink. I'm trying to do an emergency ""reset"" so i can feel at least a little like a human being again. No alcohol in the house, i'm keeping my sketch pad out in case i feel up to drawing something, i've deleted postmates off my phone and bought some healthy food. 

It's been so long since i've been at this level of just fucked that i can't even remember my previous methods of self care... I'm avoiding the roads this weekend since it's move in weekend and traffic is insane and at times dangerous, otherwise I'd take a drive. But even if there wasn't traffic, i'm drunk so often that i can't even drive. 

Can somebody please tell me what to do? I feel so lost and I need help from people who understand what i'm going through... Like... what the fuck do i do? I just need someone to tell me what to do, please.",4.0322721506822985,5.1006080280991775,4.9739035172016175,84.46195464155295,71.19834710743801,7.743609456083031,28.78051124351336,8.057270187336151,1.8253494137997308,2367,89,478,32,43,773,285,605,0.17600000000000002,0.732,0.092,-0.9957,1,2,8,0,2,0,64.0,1,0,3,5,30,34,10,2,31,1,57,18,5,4,3,76,106,38,0,7,16,1,6,3,2,1,2,0,3,2,30,26,8,3,14,8,1,10,14,20,1,6,32,10,55,14,75,66,13,67,1,5,2,4,37,31,5,7,26,318,85,5,0.0,0.0,0.14112874162892247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727766377271783,0.0,0.07489160892159755,0.07979615637493492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059505172572325064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055602116987147635,0.060376036375296725,0.04407965579967004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22117535007193054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326825529583636,0.0,0.1245614206639014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2833460555393688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06404541658722172,0.0,0.0,0.14328070976887916,0.0,0.18277350704711576,0.0,0.0,0.07073329743701914,0.0,0.0,0.18281116942391365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06609025632904082,0.12301411939955673,0.08743783846937551,0.0,0.05586671795052482,0.13369931749601044,0.07555823978917456,0.0,0.08219116024410507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04846803475604774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503089516380019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427267055438053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598140339029992,0.07247386471529432,0.0,0.06399229368738417,0.0,0.0,0.15787035439214436,0.06147558670150505,0.1305256433447408,0.0,0.09653530359108704,0.0,0.0726453629085916,0.0,0.08032038394554983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05771734978333715,0.2305630488182851,0.0,0.1608513971476141,0.0,0.06983768776086724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700805378153609,0.09799859040462708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029197265930849,0.0783049516079836,0.0,0.15039246300532627,0.0,0.0,0.15874987508978725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230489253805087,0.046323796245563036,0.07434697782491254,0.0,0.1552682892134238,0.08191341453165524,0.061752556384968474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731818310678698,0.11524381065371035,0.0,0.07543535856374449,0.0,0.148450860145081,0.2392631363131029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061268238166662624,0.05566796138953404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707310279576474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27184153550593665,0.0,0.12640468727471074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048039715458205234,0.0,0.0,0.05740625949022679,0.04216468690036759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472817347273119,0.0,0.07063660485079418,0.07527751794729766,0.0,0.062452837091131426,0.0,0.0,0.04265045754983812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06501559673671542,0.0,0.0,0.08073180913817643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052642721490160915,0.0,0.07369031997873125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,helenann18,2019/08/24,"Bipolar husband Long story short my husband of only 5 months left me a little over 2 months ago. Suffers from a high case of Bipolar. Been put in mental wards a couple of times..most recently in January. He was super depressed and he believed his meds were making him that way so he got off them for a week and started acting crazy saying he didn’t know if he loved me and then eventually got back on them but not even two days later he then kept saying he didn’t love me and we weren’t meant to be together. Took off back to his hometown thousand of miles away..texted me when he got home and said he needed to think. Weeks went by and he would avoid “divorce” whenever I’d bring it up and then more weeks went by and he texted me saying he couldn’t make up for what he did to me and that it sucked we were so far apart. Wtf like you left me what do you mean? Anyways not much more from that conversation and then a couple days later I asked him again if he a hundred percent wanted the divorce and he said yes i deserved better and that someone else is meant for me. 
I haven’t heard from him since. August 3rd. 
I am still having a hard time wrapping my brain around what’s happening. It’s like he completely switched personalities on me. Wtf so I’m supposed to act like this is something normal that people do and act okay about it? Am I supposed to wait around and hope he snaps out of it? Do I trust him when he says he wants the divorce? I’m lost.",2.3408695652173925,4.12321026086957,3.260217391304348,92.17119565217396,76.82608695652173,5.804013377926422,22.202341137123746,6.490185161304077,0.3170307692307697,1144,32,247,9,26,364,161,299,0.08900000000000001,0.7879999999999999,0.12300000000000001,0.9189,1,1,1,0,3,0,20.0,2,2,2,3,14,15,1,1,9,2,20,5,1,2,0,41,52,26,0,9,5,2,1,3,0,1,2,7,1,1,14,19,0,3,5,0,0,8,7,5,0,2,21,8,29,10,32,28,4,54,0,3,0,2,48,20,1,3,28,143,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345946471024827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877143850383089,0.09856506540266363,0.0,0.09905721417148676,0.16214202142941572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878621491667934,0.0,0.09324639345607602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769743144277192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054386964850307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333178993180025,0.0,0.13599035673729212,0.0,0.09080877506531447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807524474338835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963710847897364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529717747135658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323352665284727,0.0,0.09444672494076213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11139512345651367,0.1057572976351394,0.10471816654959623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057942891937553226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291052308532352,0.0,0.0,0.1545268409798284,0.10567096688473274,0.0,0.09330435976723396,0.0,0.0,0.11509192352710837,0.0,0.1903137219144299,0.0,0.14075389671924926,0.0,0.0,0.11484679651389545,0.1171116327992382,0.0,0.10625106525625228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16831027796265596,0.0,0.07750494814082684,0.07817679162973967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330137049163067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08018609420077777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309355374924774,0.09205950844701513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598868663573258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041017794805269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005807199448898,0.33537631759999464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872147740892574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933253375998099,0.08116701555302372,0.0,0.0,0.07462559820200862,0.0,0.08419845401931984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06755682730316179,0.0,0.0,0.061478482631734076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171392801945761,0.0,0.0,0.10299213877113728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243735270658621,0.08368733481312275,0.2537145446895748,0.0,0.0,0.1954737895623081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489615479132802,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,brooker216,2019/08/24,Is there a name for the period between mania/hypomania and depression? I’m diagnosed bipolar two and have been in a funk lately. I’ve been hypomanic for several weeks and now I’m crashing into that familiar and horrible depressed state. I was just wondering how many of us have time spans between the two states where you feel “normal” more or less. Or are we always on one end of the spectrum? Is there such a thing as a happy baseline that’s neither hypomanic or depressed? How long does it last for you?,3.624352806414663,6.00387780412371,5.036013745704466,78.15328751431845,75.08247422680412,8.434822451317299,29.33447880870561,9.150863307647796,2.9014774341351663,405,18,72,10,9,135,69,97,0.147,0.816,0.037000000000000005,-0.9013,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,2,2,0,0,8,4,0,0,7,0,8,2,0,2,0,16,12,10,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,3,3,1,5,1,11,9,3,15,0,3,0,0,5,5,0,4,8,56,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16430562501849832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5102256116413126,0.20042150884040533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17280182310616105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17489423652400604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09984358478147597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210203790875332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16095927859465475,0.2227476655369028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17474916932787998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001972085542912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934725100614577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380652014265818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223077786232282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311861145668561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514267712929314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38578670369652623,0.0,0.2375245297907128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15839347715194432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21414097001010152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,OutsideBobcat8,2019/08/24,"I think my new friend might be Bipolar. Hello, so in the past couple weeks, there's this guy. He's a friend of a friend. I hang out with him sometimes. But he seems to have, like, mood swings. Some days he's really mopey. He'll just sit at his desk with his head down, sometimes he falls asleep.

But other days, he's very energetic. It's fun sometimes, but some of his behaviors on his energetic days have me concerned. He just says and does things that are...odd.

He tends to be a little obsessive about certain things. He'll talk endlessly about games he's played or some movie he saw. Then, he got this mask. A cheap plastic halloween mask of a sheep and this shirt of the same thing, he treated them like they were the coolest thing. Whenever the teacher was out, he'd put it on. At lunch he wanted to put it on and scare the other kids outside. He brought it to school every day, wore the shirt for about 3 days straight.

One day, i saw him getting bullied. But, he was, you know...smiling and laughing the whole time. Like it was a joke. But i know the bully, he doesn't joke about these things. He's a real bully. Speaking of the bully, he had this wrestling game when i went to his house. He created the bully and was beating him up in the game. I asked why, he said there was no better alternative to deal with it.

There was this girl, he talked about her to the point of obsession. It's all he talked about for a week.

I caught him doing the Naruto run down the hallway, once.

Oh, and a few days ago, he came over for this assignment. He couldn't sit still to save his life. Couldn't focus at all. And, as soon he got to my house, i told him about my parent's rule for no shoes on the carpet. He said ""I didn't know you were Japanese"". Which, we aren't. And he put his shoes on a table. Not the floor, but a table. Then, my weenie dog started to bark at him, like she does all company. He literally got on all four's and started barking back at her. Thank God, my parents didn't see.

Anyway, afterwards, my dad was watching UFC. One of the matches had a triangle choke. He ssaid ""Oh that looks fun. Wanna try it?"", i said no and every day since then, he always asks ""Can i put you in that chokehold"".

That's another thing, i think he might be gay. He seems very, like, hands on. Always wanting to put his arm around other people's shoulder or touching their hair. Just guys though, never girls. Sometimes he'll talk in kind of a lisp. ""Oh, that's soooo fabulous"". He says it anytime something cool happens.

We played badminton in gym class once and he just smacked another boy on the butt with the paddle. Why? No idea. And in the locker room, even after he changes, he just kinda sits on the bench and looks around for a few minutes.

And, he even asked to sit on my lap a few times, as a joke.

But yeah, he seemingly has endless energy. He got in trouble by one of the teachers, and she just kept lecturing him. He cracked a smile the whole time. Made a joke about the vein popping in her head.

Like, nothing gets him down...when he's in an energetic mood at least. He's unpredictable, never violent but he has some bad habits. He's never hurt anyone or anything. I just wonder if i should be worried about his behavior.",1.3145934659788736,3.5763720647149486,2.332806324110674,95.09027310689802,82.59013867488443,5.364784171858601,20.49978785645698,6.635868238458433,0.1657386436211783,2486,72,545,26,69,784,282,649,0.09,0.762,0.149,0.9879,3,0,1,0,0,0,126.0,2,3,3,2,30,34,1,3,43,2,31,17,13,1,8,81,74,35,0,7,20,3,3,6,3,6,2,6,2,6,31,26,1,1,9,10,1,12,14,7,0,4,30,16,53,25,77,31,15,84,0,1,6,2,108,38,1,15,36,310,84,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05505681899498239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10336108773653986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302556227772098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04342879675098532,0.0,0.05111128569247437,0.1105822396035543,0.17419356023257826,0.0,0.0,0.047758800850166885,0.0518593041706801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0549312990649211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103736015270222,0.0,0.0,0.06570420596497646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872359793021686,0.0,0.3204467938762833,0.06403274265271135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870586078291036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204621519601724,0.0,0.1046608054601888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14395823044120565,0.0,0.06489988371332085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987003492822559,0.0,0.0,0.12299744488745627,0.05492371925201926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748567671585675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14333333597180176,0.06649010178174906,0.07011469552729077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467806775296356,0.10240219083242437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04387017084531799,0.18206302251076176,0.062250595109170866,0.0,0.0,0.10431361196432673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05877003872811079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317779129359508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14370931730006628,0.059986281140668826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595962758599296,0.0,0.0,0.13229036963687715,0.1262621483588522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379317385699301,0.0,0.05929107835148632,0.0430592938976149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058714080644956236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3121888164944496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069484373459654,0.03978929363475387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772426649263394,0.0987848222250832,0.06218300334059244,0.062858694690147,0.049493674885590366,0.16962799259783684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051378081884027614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04781535714462232,0.2457137424251311,0.0,0.08792363759707557,0.0,0.049601172625705334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19968684803912876,0.0,0.05718259674463776,0.0,0.0,0.2475789766059559,0.07959523466642764,0.06102281672860101,0.0,0.10865062305360254,0.0,0.0,0.05934882217808375,0.0,0.04216865243539017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10249460524016013,0.07326824296139843,0.0,0.09964188436612886,0.0,0.0,0.05757664610834835,0.11208933365884556,0.13868732357061445,0.0,0.0,0.06735570856661152,0.0,0.0630757788896996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwaway98bc,2019/08/24,"Can you be functional while manic? My therapist seems to suspect I was manic during a time when I was giving Uber and Lyft rides.  In reading about mania this doesn't seem very likely to me.  I mean my rating at the time was very high and there weren't complaints.  Also no speeding tickets or accidents.  I do know that hypomania is very possible but would you say it is possible to be that functional while manic in your experience?

Also I guess a twofer if you don't mind.  In the distant past there was a period where I was clearly psychotic for a time.  Not necessarily due to mania but possibly due to extreme life events.  During that time (a couple months) I was able to avoid inpatient and for the most part no one ever saw that I was acting different.  Again, is this sort of thing possible if experiencing full blown mania (no hypomania)?

The reason I am asking is again that I suspect my Therapist sees these as mania which would by default probably make me bipolar 1.  But I question how I could be that functional during those periods if in full blown mania.  Another interesting thing: I do not ever get depression.

Thank you for any input you might have.  I know you can't diagnose or give medical advice.  I'm just looking for insight, experiences, and knowledge. :)",4.527605042016808,6.689884071428577,5.9081428571428605,73.89935714285717,71.73109243697479,9.297815126050422,29.12689075630252,9.766711354998122,3.180982521008404,1011,41,172,27,20,340,134,238,0.037000000000000005,0.8540000000000001,0.109,0.9527,1,1,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,7,0,0,13,5,0,1,9,0,27,4,0,3,3,40,43,19,0,6,11,0,0,1,0,3,4,1,0,0,14,4,0,1,11,2,0,2,9,2,0,1,9,5,26,3,19,27,4,30,0,1,3,0,12,9,0,12,20,131,40,1,0.107418256838405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496787737030397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17180468236905042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304809817909758,0.1126374082654184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10042156974512123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576473738235571,0.11885625806379665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925191872134046,0.10902726955443814,0.0,0.11222921558560388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19433192624320292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21015133427082205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056121605673014524,0.20609076003403576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833332034886135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11349328602132065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11806852945655892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587269154022754,0.05247913438551067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09020428176496403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07170252055606967,0.0,0.0,0.11700997243808685,0.0,0.10821259279091444,0.0,0.11395379533917888,0.10846181790390406,0.0,0.08574022777846621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07278939084004075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11632350432328008,0.10254288078137018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4843917787825254,0.0,0.0,0.11581504899167908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033303148197233,0.0,0.10744732574425132,0.0,0.0,0.11044385851529323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542330929103115,0.0,0.0,0.0855984432116128,0.19557909335620516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889629879884897,0.0,0.24944175090162146,0.14272783352877885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25054579758885115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658939349248283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15261369535530162,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,eekpeek,2019/08/24,Recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder and feeling alone. Recently diagnosed with bipolar 1 and feeling very depressed and alone. I’m not sure how to handle it and have no one to talk to about my mania and depression other than my therapist who I only see once a week. I’m not sure what to do. I just want to talk to somebody who understands how I’m feeling and understands what I experience during my manic and depressive episodes.,7.138148148148147,7.9247657777777825,7.772444444444449,68.19200000000001,64.06172839506172,11.912098765432098,39.65679012345679,11.602472056035307,5.202652345679012,352,19,57,11,5,117,47,81,0.257,0.6779999999999999,0.066,-0.951,0,2,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,2,2,22,12,9,0,1,3,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,6,9,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,4,6,2,10,12,0,3,0,3,1,0,4,0,0,0,3,39,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32809865141475336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40927583269959,0.3215349368985828,0.0,0.0,0.18153425453123076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549405856903145,0.0,0.0,0.2402676308409877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16868537715785678,0.10733246960272093,0.12046644336352764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3127916690999447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262202114624198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985705986984903,0.0,0.0,0.2546236084108293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18390866331835054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.329789311192587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069236399474454,0.09342540376568513,0.0,0.12705481805785646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SolluxSugoiAF,2019/06/10,"Work, friends, life I'm being told to go to therapy. I feel cornered and unwelcome. I know I need therapy. I don't need you telling me to go.",-1.4740000000000002,0.43544626666666986,1.696666666666669,93.585,103.0,6.4,26.0,7.554174236665415,1.9322000000000008,108,6,25,3,5,38,21,30,0.166,0.727,0.107,-0.1779,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,10,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,1,6,1,3,8,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,12,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14254209825974534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21780286250145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3204317459517647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15493028930242925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991212748153427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41806518587248653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464016478148416,0.0,0.6447769989576595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693769571255349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052337393540394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sloth-four,2019/06/10,Ultra rapid cycling Have any of you ever experienced depression/mania feelings changing every few hours? I have only had a few manic episodes in the last few years but the last few days has been a crazy up and down I don’t understand,5.852,6.9220848666666654,6.255555555555558,76.93000000000002,67.0,8.666666666666668,30.555555555555557,8.841846274778883,2.5425555555555555,189,7,33,3,3,61,37,45,0.075,0.925,0.0,-0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,6,0,0,0,1,5,8,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,4,6,4,9,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,6,24,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207986364560041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434763267807836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20939657909414344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2936984357153736,0.2735632254390696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16417175758739114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31975178772767604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5293273017934681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469394774660394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3380111419660232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20908810701957367
bipolarreddit,Eternalthrowaway11,2019/06/10,"What one little good thing happened today? For me, it was simple. I went to subway and had a healthy lunch. That's about it, but for 15 minutes munching away and reading the paper it was nice and an improvement over the peanut butter sandwiches I've been living on. Did anything nice happen in your day?",3.9408620689655134,6.080363086206898,4.192620689655172,85.66444827586207,73.3103448275862,6.019310344827588,25.393103448275863,6.742157984588678,1.096416551724138,241,8,43,2,5,75,49,58,0.0,0.7609999999999999,0.239,0.9373,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,5,2,0,0,0,4,8,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,6,1,3,3,8,2,0,8,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,31,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.245341146045424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801092949028381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19227354240612687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500629646616157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5272826947631094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29881135133218506,0.2632602163310218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20202518068058986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982174345273915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980688121169098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28259878303846364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27637575831425204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tw2thr3tw2,2019/06/10,"Read My Diary I finally put all of my diary entries together on a blog that I will continuously be updating since I also have scanned images to include as well. 

The posts are from 2010, when I got my bipolar 2 diagnosis to now. It includes a sugar baby lifestyle that was completely due to my mania and not being on meds. 

[www.tw2thr3tw2.com](https://www.tw2thr3tw2.com)",8.72171875,10.003665234375003,8.165625000000002,65.01687500000001,60.71875,10.775,36.3125,10.686352973137794,4.3030125,301,13,44,7,4,95,52,64,0.0,0.9640000000000001,0.036000000000000004,0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,6,2,0,0,1,3,7,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,2,8,1,8,2,1,10,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,6,35,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631761419574399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3450485211571055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3605061020550859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632063241406721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3655489520690785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31518082938850883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33083010120171435,0.0,0.0,0.329182793659533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722297393626369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958947914313214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,akiamarie,2019/06/10,Dissociation So I've started disassociating and its terrifying. Anyone have any advice or ways to muddle through untill it passes?,6.517142857142857,10.491668333333337,9.05428571428572,42.61571428571432,79.95238095238095,8.514285714285714,30.809523809523807,8.841846274778883,4.2792095238095245,109,5,12,3,3,39,21,21,0.163,0.8370000000000001,0.0,-0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5607060046979334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3902003956533428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4012109281514031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4061351785663962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4554519023896891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cherpumples,2019/06/10,"Struggling to handle stress and productivity I've been out of work for just over a year now because I'd had a severe mental breakdown and was struggling to function normally after recovery (I also had to drop out of uni), and am now in the process of getting diagnosed with what they think will be cyclothymia. I've been on disability benefits ever since leaving my job, and have recently started becoming more active in the local arts scene and have managed to get a fair few paid exhibitions and residencies. 

Even though I'm good at multitasking and generally good at what I do and can still produce high quality pieces of art, I'm finding the stress totally unmanageable, even when it's something I enjoy doing. I had a really successful performance art piece on Friday night, and I was mostly just standing there the whole night talking to people, so nothing too physically demanding, but now on Monday night I still feel totally exhausted and in pain and generally not coping. I'm making silly mistakes like getting out of the lift on the wrong floor, trying to use an out of date train ticket, stuff like that that tells me my brain isn't really screwed on right. 

I've had a few meds changes recently so I know that's causing a lot of the brain fog, but for as long as I remember I've found it difficult to manage stress and whilst in the moment I feel capable of multitasking, once the event/work is over I'm totally drained. I wish I was able to enjoy my successes but any time something goes well I just want to sleep for a week to get over the excitement because it's too much. This feeling has definitely got worse over the past few years for sure. I'm considering asking for my Lamotrigine to be increased, since my antidepressants were decreased last week and I feel like I need some balance. But I don't know if any medication can really help with stress management. I've tried mindfulness and meditation and all that jazz, it doesn't work for me unfortunately. 

Lemme know if you have anything that works for you in terms of stress relief and management! I'm all out of ideas!",10.291596425912138,8.023107458227848,9.902144452717797,65.45370811615786,59.22784810126582,13.648548026805663,40.956813104988825,12.214722805548654,4.914776619508562,1686,70,302,43,17,550,207,395,0.11800000000000001,0.7120000000000001,0.17,0.9628,1,0,2,0,0,0,29.0,0,2,1,7,20,28,1,7,19,0,26,8,3,4,7,67,54,29,0,7,10,0,4,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,13,23,0,0,12,5,1,1,4,13,1,0,13,4,25,15,54,38,18,55,0,0,0,1,7,25,1,5,30,196,38,11,0.08219090984767702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06572804091042947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178527428562614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06763611568525965,0.0,0.07683740575030938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10020563154939917,0.09077340251492637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18350447511178933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443270494166924,0.08694708449311432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342204339033163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10857264158691683,0.0743463834756159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16623277431803002,0.05871720241770079,0.0,0.0,0.07512100258689844,0.0,0.0,0.0901180903400642,0.0,0.0,0.1717654323628329,0.0,0.0,0.13787567131785228,0.06573557888769255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055090834360874814,0.08683920884815484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278353290609652,0.0,0.0,0.08156179575837946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13550992372288706,0.06699656140046355,0.0,0.0870283060981677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204629807850738,0.0,0.0,0.072736368818095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06987577237774474,0.0,0.0,0.05486307054619895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09129557222647698,0.08279869474926678,0.08282910561815171,0.0,0.08298938895150396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06041977574533688,0.06094351821481536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313918033813523,0.08052964086821336,0.07886439469994294,0.0,0.0,0.08753063656666173,0.0,0.0,0.08745692296794247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07846052354490837,0.05698082808770926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15796080440085053,0.0,0.1623072157786711,0.0,0.09310627869709556,0.07019058792641446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285233341550823,0.0,0.13597833992685085,0.0,0.0822502671398133,0.0,0.0,0.1265491557705762,0.0,0.0,0.05817514902447717,0.0,0.13127553354936267,0.0,0.4707470476820834,0.17184756906509982,0.09408892777269326,0.0,0.0,0.07746395984197177,0.0,0.0,0.06606193999923192,0.07183847791786471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052664616306908496,0.08075215161930012,0.0,0.04792618049396883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160446526711038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07098655682805279,0.0,0.0,0.04847832812120508,0.0,0.13185718040110006,0.0,0.07389949868452006,0.0,0.0,0.09176321563832493,0.09451549007974043,0.0,0.0,0.2393438450324828,0.0,0.08375955890065444,0.0,0.08986285737324955,0.0,0.10585650241414712
bipolarreddit,lilylilacpeony,2019/06/10,"How do I ask for help? My parents know I have bipolar 2, but we are all still learning how to deal with my ups and downs. I still look at my manic and depressive modes as a personality flaw sometimes and I think they do too. How do I reach out to them and ask for support without sounding like I'm blaming them or making it seem like they are incompetent for recognizing an episode? Thanks in advance for any help :)",4.042931726907632,5.225552590361449,4.874879518072291,84.7507931726908,71.28915662650601,7.461044176706826,30.700803212851405,7.793537801064563,1.8791381526104407,327,14,68,4,6,106,58,83,0.16899999999999998,0.65,0.18,-0.1506,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,4,1,6,5,0,0,2,0,6,1,0,4,1,19,16,10,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,7,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,13,4,14,16,1,8,0,1,1,0,12,5,0,2,4,49,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528412001064375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4202314261155829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23171267692485406,0.19358126986275526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30129726092782044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351954525016265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196080138968938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887377087613407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002579896846782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495639812765722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19624751611610688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20460863519678196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22228857712430186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3589794849191053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550494656055529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20692433302563554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14401401635292085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166559313282453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Charlietd76,2019/06/10,"Negotiating a relationship with bipolar meds TD;LR - I met a cute girl, might turn into something serious. I’m on a fuck ton of meds... how do I deal with the change? 

So I’ve met this girl online. We get on really well; we met yesterday for the first time and we had a good time. I’m thinking we may have the start of something, but I’m worried about negotiating this with my illness(es)- I also have borderline personality disorder. 

The thing I’m most worried about is the issue of medication. I’m on extended release Seroquel, which basically puts a limit on what I can do in the evenings. If I don’t take it early I struggle to wake in the morning, which sucks. I also take Latuda, which needs to be taken with food, again complicating things.

I’m very self conscious of how sedated I become with the Seroquel and klonopin at night. I often have to cut conversations off with this girl super early because I’m too sedated to text. She left at 9pm last night, I took the Seroquel at 9.30 and I didn’t wake up this morning til 10am. I’m worried because we are already discussing her staying over, and I really don’t know how I feel about this. 

Since I got divorced my life has worked in a very regimented way, almost OCD. I take my meds at this time, I do this at this time, etc. I’m worried about introducing another person into my disciplined life. I’m nervous about her staying over, and I’m even more terrified taking my meds when I’m not at home if I stay at hers. 

Sorry guys, this may all sound a bit out there but I could use a bit of advice! This girl is super nice and I’m sure she’d be very understanding about my meds situation, but that doesn’t stop me worrying.",3.1016071428571443,4.868003089285717,4.753095238095238,82.35857142857144,74.65476190476191,7.776190476190476,26.880952380952376,8.527137837955566,1.9124416666666664,1322,50,266,25,28,446,169,336,0.13,0.8009999999999999,0.069,-0.9534,0,0,2,0,1,0,43.0,5,0,0,5,20,13,3,2,17,0,23,8,2,4,2,48,57,19,0,4,6,0,1,0,0,3,4,1,1,8,18,20,1,3,5,0,0,2,5,6,1,1,8,2,35,7,44,42,7,44,0,0,0,1,26,22,2,8,16,168,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917581093219088,0.0,0.0,0.08113393034713266,0.0,0.0894121070525715,0.1295898839654478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496083148612624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09878307633470436,0.08948475061875484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17691466015016974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571275238487132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469114934732853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08353228739179397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286063602893443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036328714203294,0.10703130528600724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04096821850449706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891905645837536,0.0979746610467694,0.0,0.0,0.07490547309471696,0.04233174711442392,0.0,0.0,0.06795916932959878,0.06480237294814843,0.0,0.0,0.08022659571618626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127377670216966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845681077018299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04452872535621537,0.06604545409927491,0.0,0.0,0.08803291966623596,0.0,0.11445943332002613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4499975371056213,0.08162325467504873,0.0,0.08595376395915276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06007834209349532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520712547004023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14149423444322573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08145159760329014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10381222397551024,0.0,0.0,0.08698955894435212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452580502447964,0.0,0.0,0.06702397123378552,0.09107448104855892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247526184036328,0.0,0.0906998442898303,0.05734927366866325,0.2590827239473432,0.0,0.06773977403614782,0.0,0.08470397955888596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636425358474627,0.0,0.2436801528112404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10765762102981052,0.051916970457080575,0.0,0.0,0.1889832127382038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002075425973809,0.0,0.08813095208461183,0.0,0.08434894359736184,0.0,0.06997880611556719,0.0,0.2005600994040898,0.0,0.06431315771576146,0.0,0.0,0.07285039480092073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05898650841402525,0.4114195231533268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,books_about_books,2019/06/10,"Experiences on Geodon? My psychiatrist and I talked about switching to Geodon if my lower dose of Abilify continued to give me side effects and guess what? Still gaining weight despite eating 1500 calories and exercising every day. 

I’m really just looking for any insight or experience with Geodon, since I’ve never taken it. What are your experiences?

Note: I’m also on 300mg of Lamictal/lamotrigine, 75 Zoloft/sertraline, and 50 trazodone if that gives you any insight!",5.751585365853658,8.847544097560974,6.39530487804878,67.46783536585366,71.4390243902439,9.465853658536586,33.420731707317074,9.827888789773867,4.206604878048781,384,19,56,11,8,125,64,82,0.027999999999999997,0.9259999999999999,0.046,0.3468,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,1,14,8,8,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,5,2,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,6,0,9,7,0,7,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,4,4,31,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16556626430274166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28158256371508084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13352081000338364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118490666298117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17443639053597326,0.0,0.0,0.6075615205652507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3972147531212442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280730131745229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738577290210971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15967858891708325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13263228260291893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17126195650998546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653388674229328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16640734253999578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25211353907159656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,amabipolarrrrr,2019/06/10,"Hate my pdoc I've been out of the hospital (3 day stay, mixed state) for two weeks and he won't let me cook, leave my house alone, or use my phone for more than an hour. But a month ago he said I was a bad person who didn't want to sleep, not Bipolar. Grrrr.",0.2053448275862096,1.4170329827586237,1.7512413793103467,103.16789655172414,81.24137931034483,5.329655172413793,15.048275862068966,5.6839178017228535,-1.199100689655172,195,2,54,1,5,63,51,58,0.198,0.802,0.0,-0.8632,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,4,0,5,3,1,1,0,7,9,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,1,4,1,5,0,6,3,1,8,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,5,27,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22481022176396415,0.0,0.0,0.2626637775041513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117540003936291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16355765759333987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503876581102583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497550515785109,0.2926322264361674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26853668064375497,0.0,0.2593337060492082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20242931537885234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221442724646652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24124146373075495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537934461791461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703148271990614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477404041299354,0.0,0.0,0.21903786475439532,0.0,0.0,0.14958592095476053,0.0,0.20343087859262424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Greenlight451,2019/06/10,Can't Stop Ruminating I hate my brain because I feel like it works against me. I cant stop thinking about stupid things I did while psychotic/manic a year ago. I even dream about it so I dont get a break. It's like my mind hates me and wont let me be happy and have peace. I just feel angry as these thoughts pass and feel totally ashamed. I wish I could move on. I dont have any friends to talk to just my S/O who's fed up hearing about it. I sleep fine eat fine and work but these thoughts really suck.,0.2914004914004913,2.084974045045051,1.7400491400491411,100.56029484029486,83.32432432432431,5.477805077805079,20.000819000819,6.574015621080383,-0.1805927927927926,393,11,101,4,11,126,72,111,0.138,0.68,0.182,-0.0739,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,7,11,4,1,2,0,11,4,2,0,1,19,24,8,0,2,3,0,3,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,8,4,2,2,6,1,0,2,5,5,0,0,4,4,17,6,9,16,1,10,0,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,7,58,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463280495185512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11225591044478406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062751532487664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18427706203709607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13179807440447566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3869307552717883,0.0,0.0,0.16891180716338913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109029751983189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503989664034699,0.11792882485268855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275356831792475,0.0,0.08624429790083321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17572423267345008,0.0,0.3259525954585836,0.0,0.0,0.1860502788918007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16879924357016382,0.0,0.16129353553753126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16667757848325607,0.0,0.0,0.17544742812689215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10575056524469846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16519311118769922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760183384785471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132680145354638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10966776204975373,0.1057726876735394,0.0,0.26210047024186983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189826834667444,0.0,0.0,0.2403515257727595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630217737479346
bipolarreddit,BINKS_jarjar,2019/06/10,"Going back to college in two weeks SEND HELP. Alright, so I finally bit the bullet and registered for one of my last semesters to get my business degree. I dropped out of college after a particularly nasty manic episode, so I’m obviously apprehensive about going back, even though I’ve been stable (with a few short depressive spells) for nearly a year now. How do you cope with the stress of classes and the stress of bipolar disorder? Aside from scheduling myself time to decompress, how can I make sure that I get me work done and don’t become too overwhelmed? Anyone with bipolar successfully finish a degree and find a good job after? How did you/do you manage? Looking for any tips to make it through so I can finally make some decent money post grad. Thanks in advance, you lovely people!",6.29795918367347,7.625811210884358,6.438238095238094,75.08592857142858,66.14285714285714,8.873197278911565,31.706802721088433,9.120678840339163,2.8563774149659857,636,25,107,11,10,203,99,147,0.09300000000000001,0.7490000000000001,0.158,0.8553,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,3,0,3,13,11,0,4,8,1,7,3,0,6,2,18,18,11,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,1,0,1,4,1,5,0,2,3,1,12,6,23,15,3,24,0,2,1,1,6,5,0,1,13,72,14,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987284368535616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297319552899365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24847404258575315,0.0,0.0,0.17844088908932196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763921172705102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915962835434065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517271758401813,0.0,0.0,0.1653417592884446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671517294044358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3539831188704444,0.14767165402534305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16882685685708293,0.0,0.1836474127000131,0.13551688430814926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10829667272206296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603328612525429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317007587135477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13567774106605984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14582283922062994,0.0,0.3235468148775453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10948371772954067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201199187553552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15473897994945712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3701547783702466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522774015693421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487515465816121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15874127587598372,0.0,0.09421251182683016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15782998663401812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12960135817159904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762456656461202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404550167412928
bipolarreddit,RagingAmish,2019/06/10,I'm starting a band The members will consist of only those with bipolar disorder. Our name? Two Moodz (Two Chainz parody). (This is also a gentle reminder to take your meds today ❤️),2.188714285714287,4.841183800000003,4.005357142857147,81.93089285714288,82.42857142857143,5.785714285714287,25.892857142857146,7.1686216300943375,1.6748571428571433,143,6,24,2,4,48,33,35,0.078,0.838,0.084,0.0516,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,3,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,15,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588166942390301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3709222063714585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3594937240639414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24614461376177765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22907574223757185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433387918577145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067751335896893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.632303156077032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,31secondstodeath,2019/06/10,"Guns? Is anyone here allowed to own weapons? I was diagnosed last year and one of the first questions my psych asked me was if there were guns in the house. I get it... to an extent, but shouldn't you also take away my ""other options"" if I seem suicidal?

I did mention that 1- I have no guns. I don't really have a reason for them unless I wanted to start hunting. And 2 - I DO HAVE pellet rifles though. I love target shooting and in the country I have a lot of pests to dispatch. I did not mention that you can buy pellet rifles that can hold pressure to shoot many pellets on one tank fill and also that you can get pellet rifles all the way up to .50 cal without any background checks.

I guess my question is if I wanted to get a rifle for hunting (I've been considering getting into it now that I'm in the country) can I? Am I on a list? Any other info anyone has on this...

Thanks.",2.274590163934427,3.751157114754101,3.9986010928961737,88.12413114754101,76.21311475409837,5.75431693989071,23.67540983606557,6.079149491110277,0.5566432786885249,684,21,141,4,15,230,106,183,0.099,0.848,0.053,-0.8025,1,0,0,9,0,0,26.0,0,3,1,1,6,4,1,1,10,0,21,2,0,2,1,26,35,12,1,6,7,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,10,5,0,1,5,0,2,1,5,2,0,3,6,0,23,2,22,28,4,16,0,0,0,1,10,9,0,9,5,108,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26433696555965697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22478214617094766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23112496681636224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15450762259285636,0.0,0.15527910015361507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16774826622808445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14058083621943054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3453925641927145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18206646288268866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907024543536862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13471927276566428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405089013807764,0.1491650241374563,0.0,0.0,0.16756053196578993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239860571234164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37028639685398174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587789507166502,0.16992781583170571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15045801823268984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698083611732173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18078146012613824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426446839479245,0.0,0.0,0.15216085597372636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16237954475585226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949641883960574,0.13118574101568595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15931694199834154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643017137482534
bipolarreddit,SryUnderConstruction,2019/06/10,"Oh sweet mania, welcome back. I thought about making a post about all I’m going through, but what’s the point? 

I’m reaching hour 24 of no sleep and planning to go to the hospital when my class ends next week. 

Much fun.",2.093,3.9126493555555584,2.695277777777779,95.77625000000003,77.66666666666667,5.388888888888888,24.583333333333336,5.985473137389443,0.4040000000000004,171,6,38,1,4,53,39,45,0.057999999999999996,0.722,0.22,0.7814,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,1,5,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,3,6,5,2,10,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,19,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451217437623192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823440013529114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3623394505921448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3139335754926425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127877788928592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343395977304741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390255944575128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013496481254892,0.0,0.30530262395616753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.319009699671973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530752998553848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557056711308061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ManicTypist,2019/06/10,"Cried for three hours in hotel room and called my boyfriend 20 times. I started crying at 9pm. I'm on vacation that I don't want to be on. I get sun-sick easily and dehydrated even easier. I ended up calling my boyfriend 20 times. He didn't answer his phone so of course I've got all these what-if's running through my head since he's not on this trip with me (It's a family reunion and he's watching the house/cat). I'll probably end up moving to where I'm at, and I fucking hate it here. 

It's literally sunny with no clouds or trees, which to me gives me energy and helps me relax. Instead there's palm trees and stupid ""trees"" that give no shade and are only like, 15 feet tall and they have thorns on them. There's no breeze here either, just hot-hot-hot weather (but hey, no humidity... I could care less about humidity). 

My dad expects me to go to school here, not realizing that once everybody moves, I'll be moving out of state. I don't know how to tell him I don't want to/am not going to go to this school. I'm almost 30 fucking years old and AGAIN he's putting me into a college I don't want to go to (I haven't finished because guess what, my mental illness made me manically leave college and not return. Seriously, packed my entire dorm into my car in one night in the pouring rain and left). 

I just feel so alone not with my boyfriend, and I don't have any IRL friends I could see... there's two, but it'd just be awkward due to things. 

I haven't been able to talk to my boyfriend for more than five minutes at a time for the past 3 days, and I've only talked to him about 6 times, realistically speaking. I just miss him and my cat, and I don't want to be here.

So I decided I'd call my boyfriend. He didn't pick up, so I called two more times. Then I began crying and crying for hours, trying to get ahold of him but to no avail. I just wanted to vent. Eventually, I cried so much I threw up. 

I'm a little manic right now, also have some brain fog going on from sleep schedule madness and that it's only lol, 4:20 where I'd normally be and my body hasn't adjusted to the two hour time difference, so I'm awake and can't go back to bed. 

Anyway, I just feel like a huge burden is upon me and yeah....I just needed to talk to somebody. 

​

Thanks for listening; peace.",1.524539939332655,3.2098006335403766,3.2292069911887933,91.9171833020367,78.89648033126295,6.232153690596562,21.17044633829265,7.121374137718711,0.377866329625884,1778,48,407,21,43,591,236,483,0.109,0.812,0.079,-0.8365,0,1,0,0,0,0,76.0,0,0,2,0,32,15,5,1,9,1,26,9,6,3,1,67,64,33,0,10,17,1,2,2,1,0,1,2,3,0,15,26,0,0,7,2,0,14,22,9,0,6,7,6,50,6,57,49,7,68,1,1,2,2,29,27,2,4,28,234,65,5,0.07461113892724312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471227807894547,0.07727463838644885,0.0,0.05966650084385429,0.0,0.08084113785546332,0.0906607003927172,0.05073813299549789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05737136036429547,0.0,0.04548225777449321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287615547091247,0.0,0.08329070642794148,0.3047452594805693,0.0,0.07607102870806766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914184653954728,0.0,0.4097841632119948,0.048118012182552315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795276000754495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13216664666045902,0.0,0.0,0.049279953587033916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07033674155928815,0.0,0.07545126731100503,0.05330221255763296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05764438085425561,0.13795359134072174,0.0779624812565785,0.1431476061993121,0.2544193780003415,0.0,0.05967334365737038,0.0,0.08219258126253873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366305289884975,0.07657255385345307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05001027368762169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22043082772172445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04100433070455986,0.0,0.0,0.07900242312595045,0.08106522075369581,0.0,0.0,0.07290246745130365,0.07477996225459271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059886367482493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07519047931150108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23789949874574115,0.054847771979197935,0.055323214120242215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001749958605406,0.07310307470393672,0.0,0.0,0.07829183935964815,0.07945842791336133,0.050558438688552435,0.17023539978255994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122477453239727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044342707201896,0.0,0.0,0.07500480235672997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06371750497552857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15102091178593935,0.05945541778829154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061719105130851035,0.0,0.07466502219947031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05281014815412722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17990882175001985,0.06521342404147848,0.0686919124015514,0.0,0.0,0.04956832539286191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610381306921645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05065606572781112,0.0,0.2186527239282268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200379142362017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906607003927172,0.048047127246865495
bipolarreddit,Astreal04,2019/06/10,"Am I just plain weak or is it something else? Everyone's family screws them up in some way. If not your family, then your partners will. In any way you're screwed.
So when I try to tell my friends about this, the response is almost always that they have been through worse. That what I'm going through and which is getting hard for me, is something they face every other day.
Almost invalidates what I feel and makes me feel like I'm overreacting.
So wtf is it then, if everyone is getting fucked by someone or the other, when does something ""qualify"" as serious and worth mentioning?",5.153716216216218,6.5926444054054105,5.341970720720724,81.47619932432436,68.9099099099099,8.793243243243245,30.992117117117118,9.188382445141503,2.670936036036037,463,19,87,9,8,146,76,111,0.185,0.755,0.061,-0.9355,0,0,3,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,3,0,6,7,3,0,2,0,10,5,1,1,0,15,19,14,0,2,6,0,3,1,2,1,1,0,0,1,10,3,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,5,0,0,1,3,11,2,10,17,1,11,0,0,0,3,9,3,3,7,6,59,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3557945403231568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14782439642280448,0.0,0.0,0.12081247667828555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11457371175099965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15546835477210585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14840916585169128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496832196243187,0.33951669855649586,0.0,0.0,0.33495737614200755,0.0,0.17965687608502892,0.12691780188465834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13725693095973615,0.16424052337534314,0.18563632306745334,0.0,0.10096625344195437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15914528204515546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08679396667523816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858705850514825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15052773179755558,0.4103058393306288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15527956599864146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12061706645567567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28203083824865777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181047098035702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SaveTheWalrus,2019/06/10,"Help with hopelessness. I'm not going to describe my situation because it's the feeling of hopelessness I need to address primarily. The situation, I can figure my way out of given a clear head. I figure people on this sub know what it is like even without elaboration. 

I'm cognisant of the fact that in a fundamental way, I'm incapable of seeing past my hopelessness; but in an equally fundamental way, it is not an accurate reflection of the truth. For years now I've lived under a blanket of doom. Now I see it as the immediate impediment to my progress. How to come out of it? Please help. I'm paralysed and incapable of doing anything to help myself.",4.52664,6.433510184000004,6.465799999999998,70.96990000000002,71.16,9.8,33.3,10.125756701596842,3.8542,523,26,91,15,10,182,74,125,0.12,0.7090000000000001,0.171,0.7140000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,3,14.0,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,10,0,4,1,1,1,3,19,16,4,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,8,5,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,1,3,9,2,23,15,1,15,1,4,2,0,3,6,0,0,5,63,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15843528431447654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11736412982613605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16584702272205906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12716384703879294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734864500505724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094188898081426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19759070000731946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3871451775425871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105809118274305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09406013546010464,0.0,0.17000697965017922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142758103975404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18379108896712387,0.1334756380830723,0.0,0.0,0.21133945594534492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3068419956972973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43282220454095466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4584626074676893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18559146260061074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239826155494066
bipolarreddit,Angrbodas_Babies,2019/06/10,"Lamictal issues So I'm starting on lamictal and I'm having some weird sensations. It kinda feels like a bad sunburn everywhere, and just a general sens of ickyness. There's no rash or anything like that, but it's still unpleasant. Has anyone else had problems like this?",3.366466666666668,6.4024697800000006,4.652000000000001,76.55266666666667,81.2,8.933333333333335,30.333333333333336,9.2995712137729,3.791733333333333,219,11,35,7,6,72,41,50,0.263,0.629,0.109,-0.8207,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,2,0,3,2,1,0,0,10,7,5,0,1,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,0,3,2,6,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,5,21,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22486856762447813,0.3295148164589078,0.26464747962079865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685206204014478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26865358586796445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16260944433281282,0.22974943893200786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3356644126510535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4713491295202562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30772553643894834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276284853130259,0.0,0.2568283138211462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,deadblinger,2019/06/10,"Parenting? Recently we lost our child to still birth and are going to try again within the next year. It was something I thought about while pregnant, but more so now that it’s coming around again.

What are some issues you had with parenting and some tip and solutions you had? 

The only real issue I see in my future could be not being able to connect with my child because I have a short attention span and can be in a shitty mood that makes me unable to spend quality time worth anything. I don’t worry about care for my child but I do worry about sticking to the moral outline of how I want to talk to my child because of the constant jumbled thoughts and short train of thought. 

I’d like to know your experiences! Positive and negative.",5.9006250000000025,6.481879479166667,5.891666666666668,81.32000000000002,66.70833333333334,8.9,31.277777777777786,8.841846274778883,2.447769444444445,591,22,112,9,9,186,95,144,0.125,0.7609999999999999,0.114,-0.565,2,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,2,3,0,1,10,4,0,0,6,0,13,0,0,2,0,26,24,11,0,2,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,11,0,0,5,0,2,2,3,1,0,0,7,1,16,2,21,13,3,21,1,1,1,0,12,7,0,2,13,81,21,1,0.1619177791778619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324453597448185,0.1441411520309698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974071506406664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650859671261262,0.0,0.0,0.13947782958174645,0.0,0.1749755969463843,0.0,0.12927817130391808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583866576218277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202160530346436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33800018780395474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898577692040427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910484812336327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17675238307679067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080813749133837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17220139507281107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12314576735933355,0.0,0.0,0.35958106419948554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842978810175338,0.0,0.0,0.15987427303171056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12902750643921615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12465221699808288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12930774760916253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13014337756669958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3856338908273376,0.09441555914689903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10993154349960073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550330130410484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3288707288623154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426974110762392
bipolarreddit,MoodyRedditor,2019/06/10,"DAE here get obsessed with a celebrity/particular person when they are [hypo]manic??? For transparency, I have an undiagnosed mood disorder (we are working on a diagnosis, I am not able to be officially diagnosed with a label yet). 

Sometimes I have episodes where I get really attached to a particular celebrity that I am infatuated with among other symptoms. The person isn’t famous in mainstream music, or even particularly well-known in their genre of music, but I absolutely love this person. When I’m hypomanic I get a lot of thoughts about going to meet them and falling in love because they seem so amazing. I try to remember that I don’t know this guy and he would not give me a second thought if we met in person, but I get really lost in it. There are a lot of factors surrounding this, but it gets to the point where I’m not doing my work because I’m fantasizing about it,  and I would rather sit and daydream and stare at the wall than interact with the people around me, or do anything.

I get ideas of leaving everything to pursue this guy. I don’t have the means to do so, at the moment, but part of me wants to go for it to see what happens.

Does anyone else have experience with being obsessed with a celebrity that is connected to their mood disorder? How do you manage it? I just want to know I’m not the only one who deals with this.",7.882419260129183,6.7442568015267215,8.483740458015266,70.13457134468587,63.04580152671756,11.572988843217852,36.56605989430417,10.727762888450028,3.8133871990604815,1070,43,201,23,13,360,139,262,0.055,0.856,0.08900000000000001,0.9287,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,2,1,5,3,16,8,0,2,16,0,21,4,0,1,0,43,48,17,0,6,13,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,16,15,0,0,8,0,0,3,7,3,0,2,4,2,26,3,38,40,3,23,0,1,2,2,23,15,0,6,4,151,42,3,0.11401172201934395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07971964694050103,0.11681848249078555,0.09382193279362946,0.10149460448596506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390009750488946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754107916402945,0.0,0.11571949792173945,0.0,0.0,0.2613346218930757,0.0,0.09977242625056444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524216408252847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07530366712361733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246638423271204,0.11152534126914324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3573985145688933,0.1093704326216317,0.1295909780495163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257790593931038,0.10082018925221166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12870535660533886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531572151542464,0.0,0.0,0.12072195162539745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12445726261766132,0.19385737792616853,0.20580006087455704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12419218896068188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725729348686508,0.08671105216066817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12346358458574562,0.0,0.07904137263363736,0.39820255212067296,0.0,0.0,0.10777792915355916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14607765712516715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12915305579098468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085258130200644,0.10379198974559564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276050834931454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185018334867825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810251441008556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740647532514777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13449413517773806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251023035276087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660037830062761,0.0,0.0,0.16198131233286406,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,imisuchajerk,2019/06/10,"Officially in a down cycle Christ dude. I can feel the fucking bipolar gears turning in my fucked up head. Nothing feels even ok. My mother knows me so well, as soon as I came home from work today she’s been on me asking what’s wrong. I can’t hide it and I don’t even know how I would. Fuck this dude, I want to be able to be happy. 

I want to enjoy things. 
I want to smile. 
I want the negative intrusive thoughts to slow down just for a little bit. 
I want to see the world in color. It’s all so gray
I want these 100 pound weights to get out of me and let me get up
I want to see a point in doing all of this
I want to enjoy living
I want to feel thing
I want my head to stop running these self destructive circles


Last time I was here I reached out to my abusive ex, in my mind I figured she knew my situation, she could help. That was terrible. This time I need to reach out to a doctor, I stopped taking my medicine while I was up. I’m a fucking idiot.

I need help. I can’t do this alone. I’m sorry for rambling on here, I just need to put this out here. I need to write it down",-0.6167522564581382,1.3233133067226888,1.5813912231559293,99.42493775287895,88.2016806722689,4.534329287270464,17.63834422657952,5.82211442006289,-0.6130117024587611,829,21,207,6,27,277,120,238,0.16699999999999998,0.684,0.14800000000000002,-0.9272,0,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,12,13,6,0,8,1,15,9,2,1,2,40,50,8,0,16,2,2,4,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,14,7,1,2,8,0,0,3,4,8,1,0,7,8,39,5,40,38,3,32,1,0,4,4,10,20,4,0,9,134,53,2,0.09645050011291234,0.11427807093130775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09989363016808248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901681977451131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529896566278332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11031367742276152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700787609153707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872117382319393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274092913564952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463048126110752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3566677326869374,0.10078281092281936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267335085995716,0.0,0.0,0.1979720781716086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12929747427279922,0.0,0.09674771570634327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601334492713337,0.07862003066879031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862717108676466,0.0,0.0,0.09666873956867876,0.08516755865477878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09738751016714517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28606729485550064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925468561427124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09117689816342828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695939242036254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15371712220329065,0.0,0.10061890669022952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10841440324445396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796843835765604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16127387372380367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07251877267206783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281548530860299,0.0,0.0,0.07657092346424334,0.11248212450042963,0.0,0.09142379644607668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491044766452652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5688900391288518,0.0,0.0,0.1174507252215127,0.08672058284091275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021711280211239,0.0,0.0,0.06851566798017429,0.10545348082030262,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,elealyansteorra,2019/07/10,"How do you get help? I don't understand. When I'm in a good place mentally, I have no issue finding a doctor, making payment arrangements, etc. But now? I've been off meds for a while, new city, no insurance. I need Medicaid, but I don't have the mental strength to go through the steps. I have no support system to help me and I don't understand how I'm supposed to complete the steps needed to get help....",2.430619621342516,4.089821975903618,4.104165232358007,86.75662650602413,76.22891566265059,7.634423407917385,27.5197934595525,8.418075326091056,1.9375142857142864,316,13,66,6,7,106,51,83,0.07400000000000001,0.736,0.191,0.89,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,1,4,3,0,0,6,0,8,1,0,3,0,11,19,7,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,3,6,0,0,0,1,0,8,3,8,18,1,11,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,42,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20153624733130854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19674261530805792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21437316938071044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17568318687301335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20085127669333344,0.0,0.10924155667202316,0.16122280384474627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3865177386370423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006249866505541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830658195816202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135101572637978,0.0,0.3874197824770835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28505347720424656,0.0,0.18564472633585966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008262322713503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21812598491131704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4002101062228896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,anotherburner33,2019/07/10,"Self-Education I spoke to my former psychiatrist for around an hour on Monday, to give him an update on my discrimination case. That was particularly supportive of him given that I was formally discharged as an outpatient over a year ago. I was concerned he might be alarmed that I was representing myself in a big legal case, though he commented that he always thought I'd be very good at it. Overall it helped to talk to someone who understood why I haven't cheerfully accepted a settlement.

Anyway, at one point during the call he mentioned that he'd attended a conference where he was the only person in the room who had read the research paper. The presenter asked how he'd come across it and he advised that a patient had handed him it two years earlier. 'It was that study you gave me about anti-psychotics reducing grey matter in monkeys.'

He found it pretty funny. 

Generally I've been feeling better this week and I'm staying busy until my new contract starts. Next week I'm going to two conferences despite them being a significant distance away, so I'm hoping my mood remains decent. One is on improving support for customers with mental health problems within the financial services. I know at least one financial journalist on the panel is openly bipolar.

Lastly, I decided to waive the right to anonymity in my case. While it's a personally risky approach, it seems like a good opportunity to challenge misconceptions about financial services workers with this diagnosis.",8.254567669172934,9.099886515037596,8.460667293233083,64.0147603383459,61.66917293233082,11.311654135338348,38.805451127819545,11.080906280650957,4.811504511278197,1207,59,181,31,16,396,169,266,0.048,0.81,0.142,0.9702,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,1,4,8,14,0,1,19,0,18,3,1,1,0,21,38,8,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,1,1,2,19,7,0,0,8,1,0,4,1,2,0,5,15,4,21,11,33,17,1,43,0,0,1,0,28,22,0,3,17,122,40,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996606552765615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126093302406521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12047659531223535,0.12651969633565693,0.0,0.1271514263764082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969256385375575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13819188261142815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657887974933465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842930185623253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14838753746092362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12982539728900086,0.07691384136950508,0.22702468800020986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14385448107442705,0.0,0.0,0.0907120115021295,0.0,0.0,0.1344179155013641,0.13327744018236426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07437642396725798,0.11031586141084304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661177092059499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13638556882850533,0.14356875339831013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13070711794551226,0.14393001231134836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27511893059170645,0.10292815458681394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363381184995681,0.0,0.0,0.12793505644942613,0.0,0.0,0.13768406610476802,0.0,0.12949705171339002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353713456157315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557511323233904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12320364819945635,0.14118363057515576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11466867087273486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09579061287905084,0.14424880691994307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30715247774078397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877692325021736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296567734893422,0.1074406523264678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644047172099171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116653191459616,0.0,0.0,0.2171147016367864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211853674195985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17430224784155607
bipolarreddit,ConstanziaCorleone,2019/07/10,"For those who’ve had ECT Were you able to reduce your meds afterwards? Im scheduled for ECT as I am a non- responder. I take lamictal, latuda, Prozac, cymbalta, klonopin and am hoping that ECT will allow me to get off some medications so I’m not a walking pharmacy. This regimen keeps me just above suicide level - has anyone found themselves a better responder after ECT? Any personal experience is appreciated.",5.804369369369372,8.100641959459463,7.079459459459461,66.27342342342342,68.5945945945946,10.87927927927928,33.954954954954964,10.864195022040775,4.614160360360361,331,16,51,11,6,112,61,74,0.059000000000000004,0.795,0.147,0.6966,0,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,2,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,0,7,2,0,1,0,8,13,3,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,6,2,7,9,1,6,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,2,3,31,9,0,0.27862000766359674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18947115949841675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19481758759623927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464167549636908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725438304828152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30549245734973496,0.0,0.0,0.14556745438749422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27673253442294266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009574197100459,0.0,0.0,0.24765026462746406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3094840181296811,0.2806803454096149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432802438171701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3047650665268297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20948757107524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nodfvther,2019/07/10,"Stages of the Manic Come-Up 1. Exponentially adding clothes to your Amazon wish list 

2. Itemizing every documentary and book you want to watch/read, alphabetically

3.  Spending hours on Pinterest looking at outfits and hairstyles/color to help create your next superior form 

4. Making a sock puppet facebook to stalk your ex lovers and ex friends 

5.  Texting people relentlessly about stupid topics 

6.  Mapping out your new 5 year plan on a giant 3x5’ whiteboard 

7. Posting stupid shit like this on reddit",6.041637931034483,8.985415735632188,6.147801724137932,70.35549568965517,69.80459770114942,7.5683908045976995,31.5646551724138,8.472884824447931,2.928472413793103,407,18,60,7,8,129,73,87,0.102,0.674,0.225,0.8625,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,5,0,1,1,7,3,0,3,0,0,2,1,1,0,7,4,3,0,2,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,4,11,4,2,13,0,0,1,1,10,7,1,0,5,25,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24405203464794345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23870632799953706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188895860479038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189901044011608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.279009632955074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841410633443002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237914462466512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18911592999587745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27362879233494297,0.301310258144667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19641595318053048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713388426725565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28339311890443675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29082026399321337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16710738236145226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32579993477387714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824465045508582
bipolarreddit,marypants1977,2019/07/10,Lamictal dosage? Curious how many milligrams of Lamictal others are on. I am 150mg two times a day so 300mg each day. I know many of us here use it. My Google search says it can be up to 700mg.,-0.8093023255813954,1.1331820232558163,1.7593488372093056,97.7664651162791,89.23255813953489,6.2306976744186064,17.902325581395353,7.554174236665415,0.2296641860465116,149,4,38,3,5,51,35,43,0.0,0.94,0.06,0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,2,0,4,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,5,5,1,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,22,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4039274860827341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17210578189682185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6349947345205218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490391894506694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826074255073085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3059140125683735,0.0,0.37669562634202,0.27047163480157216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,poprockroppock,2019/07/10,"Forcing myself to socialize to keep the depression at bay Why is doing well in life a trigger for depression? I've managed to achieve everything I wanted to this year, but this is the lowest I've felt in a while. I feel purposeless. 

I've resorted to making several hundred plans to try and keep busy and hope that I can just skip over being depressed. 

I've been stable for a while, but I finished therapy a month ago and since then it's been...rocky. 

I feel like my brain reacts the opposite to the way its meant to. Good things make me feel low, bad things give me the motivation to sort myself out (... or want to die. It's a tricky process)",4.226736111111111,5.2707536875000045,5.0754166666666665,84.00569444444444,70.71875,8.813888888888886,28.284722222222207,9.150863307647796,2.207252430555556,504,18,103,10,9,164,82,128,0.18899999999999997,0.6729999999999999,0.138,-0.8537,1,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,0,3,2,9,0,0,10,0,6,2,1,5,0,24,19,9,1,3,4,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,4,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,3,4,10,4,17,15,0,14,0,4,0,0,2,6,0,3,8,62,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15082152204556892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14206231544105205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18993588082370372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4396318033568605,0.0,0.17658159341176605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15291357615782195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25808827053914063,0.1215502080144443,0.16336398190122756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16321668909599976,0.0,0.1427078934176538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16899041005420634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3024618688705813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12017704727715935,0.08312328567872236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271435750553165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580653589735886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19221318415332472,0.0,0.14074406496744962,0.0,0.0,0.17343938303087925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19457337233004948,0.0,0.2260709255142255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155159426027818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20070952377487947,0.1350516103594616,0.0,0.0,0.1529790090026278,0.0,0.15352761216590982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095665269999502
bipolarreddit,SpishieofHouseValor,2019/07/10,"Advice on BD and my relationship? So, over 17 years of marriage, its become clear that this relationship should have ended at least 9.5 years ago (he asked to sleep with his best friend (F) and it went south from there...door slam and everything...I have ZERO love for this man since). I've requested a divorce countless times, was diagnosed as Bipolar I two years ago...ever since the diagnosis, spouse has blamed the requests and any disagreements on the bipolar.  

Now, I am not exhibiting any signs of mania or a deep low, in fact, I feel rather stable (thank you Dr. Vagts) for the first time in many, many years.

I've been able to keep mostly calm through spouses ""discussions"" about the relationship and such.

How to I explain that this is just how I feel and that it's not mania?",5.5930612244897935,6.745833510204086,5.234156462585037,83.71858163265307,67.63945578231292,8.60108843537415,27.62517006802721,8.841846274778883,1.9061733333333324,614,19,120,10,10,188,103,147,0.069,0.807,0.124,0.8577,0,0,0,0,1,0,33.0,0,1,0,2,8,6,0,0,7,0,8,6,1,2,2,23,16,11,0,2,5,2,2,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,9,7,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,3,3,2,8,5,18,12,3,20,0,1,0,1,18,9,0,2,10,72,17,0,0.14942748189838945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14601880590242095,0.2649168935291605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20323162355519292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13969452434767113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16503091383575608,0.0,0.0,0.15681492330933988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516657487030818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13234839653557018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15111004928258825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710293976770554,0.0,0.0,0.1154473018438002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328180116893549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348641364517006,0.0,0.0,0.3029920261485662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4812875816546213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24721591433467785,0.0,0.14953539663875026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375727491166961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17426473271785733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14596893715239753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13852077276968688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3849055966805033
bipolarreddit,Chernushka,2019/07/10,"I want to call my psychiatrist but I'm afraid she'll get me hospitalized I've been hypomanic since the heat wave of late June. I swing from extremely angry and antagonistic to okay to nervous, my energy is all over the place and I can't get my projects done. I have a 20 euros commission to draw but I don't have the patience to. I can only play video games that require me to shoot people or walk around in town, I HAVE to move. The stress has been building up and I've become more and more nervous, my SO is very tired and can't make it to our calls lately (we live in different countries) and while I know she won't resent me or anything and my thoughts are irrational, I feel so needy and pestering. That was the last straw, and I self-harmed again. I just spent 10 good minutes washing and bandaging my cuts and I want to call my psychiatrist, but I'm afraid the sword of hospitalization will finally hit my neck. I washed the shower thoroughly and got rid of the washcloth so mum wouldn't find out I had cut. I have one of them that is deeper than the others (white-pink layer and it's wider too, so I guess I've cut pretty badly) and I'm afraid to even go to the ER because I'll have to say why I have a good dozen cuts on each leg and one I'm worried about. IDIOT ME. I thought I was smarter than that. But no apparently. I hate that fucking disorder. I just don't want to be hospitalized. I'm already stressed out enough. I want to keep on doing household chores and find a job and draw and fucking daydream about setting fire to homes while actually not acting on it.",2.9361824243867574,4.481379328173379,4.087198142414863,87.88625803762802,74.60371517027862,7.322171945701357,25.116575375089308,8.012643519586192,1.2532839723743745,1245,41,270,19,26,406,175,323,0.20199999999999999,0.708,0.09,-0.9924,4,0,0,1,0,0,29.0,2,0,1,1,12,21,9,7,13,1,28,7,2,1,1,48,53,30,0,5,9,1,2,0,0,4,3,1,3,0,9,23,0,2,6,3,2,4,8,17,1,3,10,3,39,4,34,37,5,25,0,0,0,2,11,12,2,3,8,167,48,3,0.0,0.0,0.1155331146715742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306480647160662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742619181607357,0.1053936165085864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885203330591832,0.07217041503249863,0.1307542107587978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3626731543035888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12369401428062606,0.13568702030867055,0.0,0.0,0.12115570232565832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223301616208598,0.0,0.07819652931022805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598623457037023,0.0,0.0,0.12969220105901275,0.21641553874868502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189022363763808,0.12370943978084778,0.0,0.06728466952847742,0.1986024990419498,0.0946885706396163,0.0,0.13042168512655558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11688718547416314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11875641888252304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11748538599402547,0.1052318858894406,0.0,0.0,0.06506492223298352,0.0965049482201626,0.2671017429561809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045419439308335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790273063510305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12583152494049518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604504121866286,0.09004213992223825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207782234191385,0.0,0.12369401428062606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12044681064219175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09414974509274332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350824971077792,0.0,0.0,0.0979347475407418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27123433508657385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187979397647837,0.0,0.13607371780430855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09768546158594152,0.27932171128439914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068299962877913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12023240757492705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Passingstorms,2019/07/10,"The Tears Won't Stop Falling asleep is difficult, waking up even more so. I feel so alone. In a new place (do you still count it as ""new"" 4 months later?), having extreme difficulty finding the same types of ""feeling outlets"" that I had where I previously lived (exercise, friends, activities, etc.) and with each passing day my motivation to keep looking dwindles. I cry all the time, seemingly at nothing. It feels as though my days consists of waiting for my SO to come home. I'm tired of advice from others to ""just get out there"". I'm out of ideas and anything that anyone suggests to me infuriates me and I become defensive. I've moved before and been fine; I've adapted. This feels impossible (I'm aware that it isn't). I just want to lose myself in a TV show (I'm tired of reading, which is something I never thought I'd say) and not leave the house. Even thinking about it makes my body tense, my anxiety rise, and I cry. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired. 

​

Thanks for listening (reading). I hope you're having a better day.",2.8166378633150053,5.0680573880597075,3.975590468709086,85.40184603299294,77.10945273631843,6.61963864886096,26.99685781618225,7.669130373188453,1.62424776119403,809,33,157,12,19,263,128,201,0.19699999999999998,0.695,0.10800000000000001,-0.9647,0,1,1,0,0,0,47.0,0,1,0,3,12,8,1,0,7,0,9,8,3,2,2,34,32,12,0,2,3,0,4,0,1,1,5,2,1,0,10,11,0,4,10,5,0,5,4,3,0,0,3,7,18,5,24,28,5,24,0,1,1,0,5,8,0,2,11,92,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10545740648021397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177175851564806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169304228034486,0.13113365682124395,0.0,0.0,0.08255790298507079,0.0,0.0,0.07545962336743706,0.0,0.0888083174464668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11918829259437155,0.0918313021133954,0.0,0.0,0.09544577443143064,0.0,0.11987391761932288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09296284666121077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3556325657974225,0.20879689443610752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12035845027450445,0.14255924549129226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21826878794075755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863620607189988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08337811669081553,0.0,0.05638333488351301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825177039491654,0.10718812956636094,0.0,0.1245242829365873,0.0,0.12182765613675095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592355559994266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427086485510213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952946427446061,0.0,0.0906249592414333,0.12073399530723695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203691305733259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614008665376577,0.11470104500014798,0.0,0.0,0.08323395050549781,0.2084580978857243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355139600753817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275260873585025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21589683606251733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582169018250409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824559886228608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308148305377189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618442335347533,0.09022529483816696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09935751244189142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069150274462015,0.10603007938634394,0.0856758008730384,0.06292856128981751,0.4961490417155875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06365354824774827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13113365682124395,0.0
bipolarreddit,Soakitincider,2019/07/10,Anxiety with Abilify? Do you experience this. At first I thought it was because I was coming off Seroquel but I’ve been off for a month now.,0.7417857142857116,3.2818510357142903,3.1542857142857166,84.91571428571432,92.21428571428572,7.085714285714286,28.42857142857143,8.07648339933343,2.578614285714285,111,6,22,3,4,38,24,28,0.055,0.945,0.0,-0.09,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,3,0,5,2,0,7,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3548888744496878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827944286895127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3996162550689055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4537917112813965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.394600490693958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3702874866271932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3682916769931339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Siph0nn,2019/07/10,"Therapist not diagnosing BP cause I am obsessed with Saving money. Since I was 16, I was following a path with my Psychologist to understand why I had periods of complete mental breakdowns, will to drop studies, aggressive behaviour without a triggering event, followed by hyperactivity, _necessity_ to create stuff (I would define myself a try-hard artist) with little to no sleep for weeks. 

Needless to say she was pretty sure I had BP disorder, but right a month before we were supposed to meet up for running all the tests, she got pregnant and gave me a number of another colleague as she needed to go back in her hometown for obvious reasons. 

Now, she followed me also when i was younger when I had family problems going around, and the idea to start over everything with another therapist really disgusted me (literally I felt a kind of body repulsion to the idea)

In all those years (i am 22 now) I have been followed by other two psychologist; the first told me to go to the second, and the second tells me that, since I am obsessed with money to the point I would *not* buy a bus ticket but walk where i need to be 2h or more, mine can't be BP disorder. (Fun fact is that i have no problem spending my money for friends or family instead, i just think I don't deserve spending them on me)

I would like to know if she is right and spending money is something essential to be diagnosed with BP disorder or if someone of you is also obsessed with saving, saving and saving, without a goal or a reason. :(",10.160894736842103,7.566265764912284,10.275307017543863,63.6950657894737,59.7719298245614,13.42982456140351,42.69736842105263,11.855464076750405,5.1024210526315805,1193,54,205,28,12,401,157,285,0.128,0.823,0.049,-0.968,3,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,1,1,1,2,11,16,2,3,16,0,27,4,2,4,5,53,44,18,0,9,13,0,1,1,1,4,2,1,0,0,5,14,0,0,8,2,8,9,8,7,0,4,13,2,37,9,41,24,3,33,0,0,0,0,15,11,0,6,13,160,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16665374109369324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21852076690444405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927580525468403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012160677366989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08866457615978933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574016543080665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10703975011490416,0.0,0.0,0.10924931584219613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115169633554856,0.0,0.0,0.3582588066524066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364618248506944,0.0,0.19645665409257845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004614138917567,0.0,0.0,0.08863051837053959,0.0,0.0,0.08050289179460787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17765387843610503,0.0,0.08333642683434407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334068108998994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352530618060337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850587994538427,0.05726433607059559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05090573757423703,0.10443347852077606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500678349382613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831696175242361,0.0,0.0,0.15452256244410634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850051504164364,0.0,0.0,0.10600653019376684,0.0,0.19940627134026628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675172076467024,0.21426519869649224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17796854897049982,0.0,0.0828622006900467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17238684389970765,0.0,0.1042729597211418,0.0,0.08828638102465748,0.08021648732142797,0.0,0.0,0.07375167500294272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928144815834255,0.0,0.0,0.09820510796289196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910733906994414,0.0,0.0,0.24196314325950524,0.0,0.06676568485260878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956537660882807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10178602154645702,0.10847349019580317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835811173569548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940222257999315,0.0,0.0,0.20088574707980766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220571894990092,0.0,0.0,0.06709990858563655
bipolarreddit,happymilkboii,2019/07/10,"How do you tell, Manic or actually finding yourself I’m Bipolar 1 and something that keeps popping up in my mind is if I’m being Manic or If I came to understand my self better. I may or may not have been hypomanic at the time but around a month ago I was fishing at a lake. Birds were chirping all around me, dragon flies were buzzing, fish were jumping, and  I could not have been happier. While I was fishing all I could think of is “if this makes me happy what am I doing things that torture me?” Some context I am currently in college and recently got hired to work in a start up. Combing the two I spend between 60-90hrs a week studying and working. I see my friends once a month and my girlfriend and I have become distant despite us living together. I pushed the thought of why am I doing this away telling myself it’s just my bipolar acting up, but I still wonder if it wasn’t my bipolar. Maybe it was the real me trying to steer me towards a better life, a happier life. *so I guess the real question is: how do you know it’s you or BiPolar?*",3.7950155763239866,4.7105432990654235,5.0272710280373865,84.43003426791277,71.61682242990653,7.2019937694704055,31.089096573208717,7.3011,1.8943586292834889,822,36,165,8,15,273,120,214,0.062,0.8640000000000001,0.075,0.3983,1,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,1,3,0,4,8,5,1,0,12,0,27,6,0,3,2,44,41,20,0,6,13,0,0,0,2,2,6,0,0,1,10,9,0,1,7,0,1,4,3,1,0,1,12,1,31,4,18,24,3,26,0,0,1,0,10,12,0,14,10,126,41,4,0.0,0.0,0.13419022148363785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12189458839790615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448266504794317,0.0,0.0,0.12919545801713314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15186932812743034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24323338005746645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727515564378325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21958157829655786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568192747049714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062401204576246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997955263492483,0.0,0.15148310389755118,0.0,0.0,0.1463822765610808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12222547721306515,0.0,0.0,0.07557206736855962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942551900291664,0.0,0.0,0.1214241185333522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178919630658294,0.0,0.13814758391447846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388462081687246,0.0,0.21951882689464444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14644398686894353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15404301220105426,0.0,0.0,0.3130336636291421,0.0,0.0,0.13577483672316562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10957790948708176,0.0,0.14345323789512196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586215085862104,0.0,0.0,0.0973305015707403,0.0,0.10981590712341836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24038013499140015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135573637151152,0.08811105095794912,0.0,0.10916782204146028,0.08018336461648176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336047061445184,0.0,0.13432758685970927,0.1431530769635407,0.16540796559889773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030247209803336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240816618136414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14912405986849112,0.2002182794158338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,491141,2019/07/10,"Does anyone else fall into a mini-depressive episode when they are PMSing? It happens every month like clockwork. Anywhere from 10-5 days before my period. I will have been doing really well then suddenly start oversleeping, lack motivation, isolate, stop showering, foggy headed, crying jags and just generally have negative thoughts and suicidal ideation. I'll be wondering what could be happening then remember PMS and check my period tracker and ofc will be PMSing.

WTF can be done about this? I just have to live with a mini-depression every month? It helps to know whats causing it.",6.216666666666669,9.027858313725492,6.761372549019607,66.77284313725491,68.80392156862746,11.2,31.92156862745098,10.980518767755715,4.7352274509803935,476,21,68,17,9,155,78,102,0.198,0.716,0.086,-0.9298,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,1,5,2,0,0,2,0,15,2,1,2,0,18,21,7,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,6,6,0,1,5,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,3,0,5,2,6,11,1,13,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,12,46,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961918483088994,0.18993958270962272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15774129250470145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19043218006339105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480076237553495,0.0,0.20362679280600016,0.119552161559063,0.0,0.3193280937871673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622237560691958,0.1897039732046281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15485783171018172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31237449117643906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3278547070114658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19024922090604326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242536016831436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10187778228275024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056533272537076,0.0,0.16369037321006516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959306531111453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11875658990751806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099948312934748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121006204760852,0.0,0.0,0.1549826072031072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027712178122782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14716780939684768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16667525516098464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010323262735364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sh3pha3drus,2019/07/10,Do you face social alienation because of your behaviour patterns? Do you face social alienation because of your behaviour patterns? How do you get over that? For instance I’ve had psychotic breakdowns during my manic/hypomanic states after which a lot of very long term close people ghosted me. Sometimes i just think it’s not the illness that’s who I really am.,6.518615384615388,8.699188246153852,6.3630769230769255,72.59692307692309,66.53846153846153,8.276923076923078,36.07692307692308,8.841846274778883,3.616907692307693,296,15,43,5,5,93,48,65,0.076,0.887,0.036000000000000004,-0.3574,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,5,3,2,1,0,6,7,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,9,0,6,6,2,6,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,1,3,31,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3783727505447659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16214497650163684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27464983263713755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26384832650820994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21515749482838606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19881804749981954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6327251350372614,0.0,0.0,0.3069439166304285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19885963912723006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560711114925961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,starcoloured,2019/08/22,"reason to stay alive? I have been thinking about it for a while and I don't think I really have one, nor do I think many others have. You live your days and then you die. So if I don't enjoy being here, why won't I choose to die? I mean every one of us still dies in the end, so what's the big deal.",-1.0062111801242215,0.5414455217391314,1.4224016563147008,102.42130434782612,86.53623188405795,4.522567287784679,11.306418219461696,5.288315135182226,-1.696740786749482,227,1,62,1,7,77,49,69,0.166,0.795,0.039,-0.8574,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,3,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,0,9,0,0,1,0,9,13,8,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,0,11,1,6,10,0,8,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,5,44,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12481974251980126,0.1995351641142362,0.0,0.0,0.6026037378021861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17142236407519235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16306900289349582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709027253928527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19622304001378787,0.0,0.2108259425744614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623005819677872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398911723116655,0.19899526585537464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062919439343043,0.15456433240423748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3720451651902876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23280936657385856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746431798835817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,trollwizard7,2019/08/22,"Mood Stabilizers My psych is going to have to switch my mood stabilizer because the one I'm on now, Triliptal, is giving me shit tons of migraine with aura.  I had to go to the ER yesterday because I thought I had a seizure or a stroke.  The ER doc blamed the triliptal.

I've tried severl meds so far: topomax, seroquel, lamictal, amitriptaline, pristiq, prozac, lexapro.  They don't work for me.

I'm currently on abilify, congentin (to counteract the shakes from abilify), trazodone for sleep, and vyvanse. 

Anyone have a suggestion for a mood stabilizer that isn't listed?  My doc seems to be throwing darts at meds and having me try whatever is next lol but I'd like some solid stories from others about what works for you and what, if any, side effects it has. 

​

Thanks guys.",4.7509770114942524,6.892025379310348,4.991465517241379,80.79800287356323,71.06896551724137,7.8678160919540225,32.77298850574713,8.59863814320734,2.838574712643678,620,30,109,11,12,195,99,145,0.031,0.8809999999999999,0.08900000000000001,0.8047,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,1,3,3,7,1,1,9,1,12,5,2,1,0,11,20,7,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,3,0,0,4,2,2,2,1,3,1,11,2,18,16,2,13,0,0,0,0,5,5,1,4,5,66,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21736563974760886,0.24376847807440255,0.13642468464365295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402742666546898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24458537622254034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924476313995217,0.22802759556282676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19863981589125088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801007195781897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4456747896340935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21335571109374693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13594152261718526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826318329916955,0.0,0.0,0.205927818743404,0.0,0.0,0.20075930086702096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18469880410819645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15926544026066325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724080443723853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920993734516819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24376847807440255,0.0
bipolarreddit,mentalplan,2019/08/22,"I made a document for planning your next manic epidsode Hi r/BipolarReddit,

I'm Thibault, 22, and I recently experienced two psychotic/manic episodes in the past year. I thought it would be useful to come up with a plan that would make my next episode go smoother so I made a document to do just that. I thought I would share it here so that others can use it. The intended use for this is for yourself as well as anyone who is likely to help you in your next episode like close friends, family, your psychiatrist, etc ... I am also thinking of making a website for this so please be sure to let me know if you have any suggestions on this document or what the website should be like.

Here's the document: [https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oh-fC40cuaCLT\_9EUXxfG6ot1zdpKAqMRRer7TTJDv0/edit?usp=sharing](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oh-fC40cuaCLT_9EUXxfG6ot1zdpKAqMRRer7TTJDv0/edit?usp=sharing)

Have a good one!",10.332503201024329,13.501070880281697,7.726235595390527,62.66185019206147,58.50704225352112,8.82560819462228,31.21895006402049,9.339509955726095,2.7814281690140845,763,26,115,13,11,220,90,142,0.0,0.812,0.188,0.9753,0,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,5,0,2,8,8,0,0,9,0,15,0,0,8,1,24,29,9,0,5,3,0,0,3,1,4,0,0,0,0,12,4,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,4,1,14,8,16,17,1,13,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,2,9,80,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174255976589241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985428183037136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267193354833767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264871833296604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16376221159218515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13842497545809102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344600031437595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834509233131358,0.12316001574721508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09842183124201452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069784504688379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15015091119410914,0.0,0.21521161012146087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27788168046764605,0.19602984537665968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4684888521748649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995006376399035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401726529845654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16118307142449526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14498394865548314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13839225474354694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408730215683894,0.0,0.2331445544355353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143438537112674,0.0,0.0,0.3804603976851808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320242118816552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3129266468338393,0.0,0.0,0.09455829574324176
bipolarreddit,constantlytiredperso,2019/08/22,"I have no money (rant) At all. For rent or food.
I’m a full time university student and I was living off of student allowance and had a part time job & made about $150 a week.
I was doing my best at school, studied at least for 3 hours everyday after classes, recorded and listened to all my lectures afterwards, did all my readings before classes... then depression hit and couldn’t get out of bed for the second half of the semester and failed every class and had to quit my job.
I just got a letter that my student allowance got declined because I wasn’t meeting my course requirements and I need a medical certificate and a letter from a doctor saying I’m well enough to get back to my studies - but I’m still depressed. I am feeling a bit better, I manage to go to (some) classes and eat at least once a day, but I’m still very suicidal and have no motivations to do anything.
I’m 21, had a couple jobs before starting uni (I just started uni this year) but blew all my savings through my manic episodes, and an orphan with no siblings.
I don’t know what to do. 
(I’m not asking for practical advice, just wanted to rant)",4.106316666666668,5.196492906666666,5.260597222222224,82.39356250000002,71.04444444444444,7.580555555555558,30.50694444444445,7.865858978985527,2.0844277777777767,884,37,170,11,16,293,128,225,0.105,0.85,0.045,-0.9336,4,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,6,8,7,0,0,13,0,15,4,0,4,4,37,36,16,1,3,8,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,3,13,2,1,3,1,2,1,7,3,1,2,10,3,19,4,27,24,12,23,0,3,0,0,6,7,0,2,15,117,22,19,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13265689764792987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14708902529929513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11171368869185286,0.0,0.1269113392883732,0.0,0.0,0.10438617886807168,0.0,0.0827541662813122,0.0,0.231032718363284,0.0,0.1424650825114724,0.12006307335135602,0.1482078281715299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502088339384256,0.0,0.08754987496496394,0.0,0.233848843210208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894961526721722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13890987700280058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026981182571632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437830687498868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06864112542685022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415385494065907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14185136036119902,0.0,0.07715192891485284,0.0,0.21714919378313288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13369000179700016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4041436576384809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07460665691231445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987296189897352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284533879735097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675752245079315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10065961288075426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14457320893338674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14700797609371727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443907192225251,0.13579038893503775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10795675287774906,0.0,0.13738994343523728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19217426730905388,0.0,0.2168260838046097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484924616539703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158318092446566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201098022935768,0.08007102124603639,0.0,0.10889339115554963,0.0,0.12205883656807412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742090107400736
bipolarreddit,wacktaters,2019/08/22,"Videos for People with Bi-Polar I highly suggest people give ""Polar Warriors"" channel on YouTube a go. The individual who runs it is Bi-Polar himself and gives his stories on how he handles/handled his Bi-Polar. I'll add his link. 

Polar Warriors:

[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1HE3FmZKWd4T0FAuTXC2XQ](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1HE3FmZKWd4T0FAuTXC2XQ)",13.552624113475176,19.20409238297873,7.8011702127659595,53.0841666666667,61.3404255319149,4.835460992907802,31.23758865248227,6.42735559955562,2.2760099290780142,310,11,29,2,6,81,35,47,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,4,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,0,0,16,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7229505204331398,0.21415263426005568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3981257101542565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5224721171116216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FlammableBrains,2019/08/22,"Hoping for advice? I posted this in r/bipolar but they said it fit better here...

I've recently been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but havent really been given much info on it by my psychiatrist. We've only met a few times in person, but she seems competent enough.

My problem is that I havent been given any direction. I'm currently on 150mg of lamictal (spelling?) which I started after a really bad reaction to an antidepressant.

The more I read about bipolar disorder, the more it fits with a lot of the things I've done/dealt with in life, I just didnt know it at the time. Now I just wanna know what to do? I dont mean to sound stupid or whatever but I want of this fucking ride but I guess I'm buckled in forever. I want to be ok but I dunno what to do and I dont have much of a support system, memes are great and all, but I need a little help",1.3853762734143942,3.2990667094972075,3.9421689122576415,85.55323365100232,80.2290502793296,7.563720013144922,22.819914558001965,8.4952907291091,1.5252941833716729,667,22,141,15,17,234,106,179,0.111,0.723,0.166,0.7941,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,2,5,9,2,0,10,1,14,5,0,0,1,30,32,10,0,6,10,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,11,5,0,0,5,1,0,1,5,4,0,0,8,2,17,5,24,23,8,20,0,0,0,1,6,10,1,6,7,98,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501627532078481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10449962230324866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830649978488107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359070050083957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559699536770886,0.0,0.0,0.3522340625643616,0.0,0.0,0.15725588614122624,0.3601958918973908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15878029344239705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420637431787381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16941969537720974,0.1692828094172582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10300053240237043,0.0,0.0,0.1526271618476052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16890401039408445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10854037006747733,0.0,0.15401587228583138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130643179404195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673896820080726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22592756641279904,0.11394299787656845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11687156470327464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13417711518754366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471716251070636,0.0,0.0,0.14703968140650642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15370975066646286,0.0,0.19688752391994024,0.0,0.15172877513924873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14617361540625592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13989372684300413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10876711873443552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17438081358864646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10209030123789184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17921028658069152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18127493127993494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,6BigTony9,2019/08/22,"What have I been feeling? I don't even know where to begin. When I'm going through a depressive episode (which is all the time without antidepressants making me hypomanic.) my mood changes so rapidly and is extreme.

I go from horribly depressed and feeling no interest in anything at all to something I can't really call mania within hours. The ""mania"" is extreme irratibility, and I have this sort of intense urge to laugh combined with this weird feeling in my chest. I also dissociate pretty hardcore during this time. It's like I feel euphoric but also intensely anxious and I feel like I'm losing my mind when it happens.

Then, after about an hour of that, it just disappears, giving way to more depression. I had this for months after starting and stopping abilify. It only ended when I was prescribed Wellbutrin with topamax which almost immediately put me into a manic(or hypomanic) episode. I've been riding that respite from the rapid mood change hell for about two months now. And now my depression is here again, along with the intense, borderline psychotic feeling of elevation for an hour or so at a time.

I'm kind of rambling, but I'm just so lost and confused. I can't feel validated in any of my depression symptoms because they change so frequently, and what replaces it for short periods of time isn't better than depression. It's horrifying.",5.988502024291499,8.03740744534413,6.4872874493927135,71.70639676113362,67.66396761133603,9.08663967611336,36.07692307692308,9.549672527348893,3.868276113360325,1097,57,174,24,19,356,139,247,0.23600000000000002,0.6759999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.9942,0,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,3,19,19,1,1,9,0,14,2,1,1,2,35,34,21,0,0,6,0,7,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,16,13,0,1,8,0,0,5,6,11,0,1,5,7,19,6,34,29,3,39,1,8,0,0,3,9,1,4,26,126,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035072885652056,0.0,0.0,0.1653253756764066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029321964557751,0.0,0.0,0.11677547886501853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08506237277174145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630116669054991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09141986108528516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10554943686298504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3280462769470319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5341799480345484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915526308816629,0.0,0.0,0.06827304035654234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36585882597120667,0.07384552630743063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915920758455707,0.11749188867116375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140724632003597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3053875196999172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764100012003028,0.05680789288977739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10099995515628778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11564142200122784,0.11283747575548628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06899838807893256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437137419218087,0.0,0.1650133764993258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861539005537835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051615722120748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10391255521764224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621965543672594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957709688857781,0.0,0.0,0.07316381436508408,0.0,0.0,0.08641958189998088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10743806734785116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410969103947052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009747044401132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204804753995454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09964226241201868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,allthingsconsidered4,2019/08/22,"Was anyone previously diagnosed with anxiety/depression? I haven’t been diagnosed with bipolar but have been diagnosed with depression first, then anxiety, and now OCD. I relate to some parts of bipolar but obviously need to be diagnosed by a doctor to tell for sure what I have. But, was anyone misdiagnosed and what do you think makes bipolar in your experience different from anxiety/depression? Any advice or personal insight or experiences is appreciated!",9.596052631578944,11.497186500000002,10.211684210526318,48.92278947368422,59.0,15.553684210526312,44.14736842105264,13.968273953766033,7.89551894736842,378,22,49,18,5,128,51,76,0.08900000000000001,0.8109999999999999,0.1,0.2387,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,10,8,0,1,2,17,13,8,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,5,1,11,8,2,4,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,3,3,41,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15687593367991373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091713854988354,0.0,0.12281117605398975,0.0,0.0,0.22450388770223254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4148135860518702,0.6517710040981687,0.0,0.16772810332293894,0.0,0.16431750640935974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140740539271075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13655359134251116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716040126975906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903693689894924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738470740458796,0.0,0.0,0.14017564125497886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513052211253844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403173399455394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286630624171676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FriendlyRelic,2019/08/22,"Akathisia is the worst. Title. I had a bit of wobble stability wise last weekend and got put on Buspar. I've had some bad luck in the past with Akathisia so around my 5th dose today I felt it.  


Now I've got this nervous head twitch thing going on which means an immediate stop and back to the start of finding out some sort of anti-anxiety medication that works for me.  


Sucks cause it also curbed the sweat problem I was having. Small steps I guess.",2.9195786516853914,4.993003471910119,3.5981882022471936,89.08020365168541,76.07865168539325,6.247752808988763,22.360955056179773,7.1686216300943375,0.6299314606741575,355,10,73,4,8,112,71,89,0.18,0.757,0.063,-0.8827,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,5,7,1,1,6,0,5,5,2,1,0,17,13,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,5,0,2,3,1,0,3,0,5,0,0,6,1,6,2,11,7,4,17,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,5,8,43,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17355401466911588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16602276624486564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19319737206910104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668780601749944,0.1812059751914364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369339996559516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22294343036891595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2083770742414198,0.0,0.1983560045961527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333974071741535,0.0,0.34714783719492026,0.0,0.239076403884684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22272923578193526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17690352609051155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23640275914401795,0.0,0.21862884826706752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20717396510898928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20766265860089927,0.0,0.2181690627801388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15361070446221126,0.0,0.0,0.18144178198179112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441811024727179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20571337637893336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15799605699619612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,inkedandnerdy,2019/05/12,"Art/Hobby Buddy Hey guys! 

I'm trying to get back into self care and this means doing hobbies again. I want to promise myself to paint/sketch everyday (I will also be trying to go the gym regularly as well.) If any of you are trying to do this, we should share our accomplishments and motivate each other on the hard days! 

I'd love a buddy to keep me going.",2.8212499999999987,4.518011958333336,4.823333333333338,81.855,75.25,7.022222222222222,20.333333333333336,7.793537801064563,0.8347333333333329,279,6,54,4,6,96,58,72,0.018000000000000002,0.768,0.213,0.9323,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,2,1,0,2,4,5,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,1,0,11,15,5,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,5,0,1,2,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,5,10,12,1,8,0,0,0,1,8,2,0,1,4,37,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019492777734788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17173001883972416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941810668732192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574726033839839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16286186839734534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13193723915868028,0.0,0.2870388403994972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500457993685449,0.0,0.0,0.22621854162170296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2244615208072997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279194574988365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2750807382002193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634453362496545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5143567534829399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14894956880100205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270560658805958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Phiona986,2019/05/12,"Manic Meals Today’s breakfast was: half a banana, a shot or two of tequila, and some tortilla chips. A meal just about as balanced as my goddamn mood!",2.568160919540229,5.0633538620689675,3.235172413793105,89.08540229885055,79.34482758620689,3.8666666666666663,26.90804597701149,3.1291,0.6095425287356324,118,5,21,0,3,37,26,29,0.124,0.8759999999999999,0.0,-0.5255,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,1,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,15,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6963843524023433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7176690279851631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,h0nne,2019/05/12,"Does Anyone Else Feel Great After A Night Of Drinking? I have been feeling a bit low and off the past three days (I think bc of PMS) and last night I got drunk and today I feel amazing. Higher energy, better mood, more focused. I have noticed that I always tend to feel better the day after I get drunk. Does this happen to anyone else?

I did some googling and no one seems to know why but GABA and anti-inflammatory effects are postulated as a cause. I think GABA production is lower in people with bipolar disorder if I remember correctly. 

Is there anyway I could mimic these effects? Do GABA supplements even work? Do antipsychotics increase GABA production? I am wanting to go 60 days sober just bc I feel like I am drinking too much but I would like to be able to get the mood benefits I get the day after drinking w/o actually drinking when my mood starts to dip. 

I am med compliant and mostly stable but highly sensitive to environmental/hormonal(PMS) triggers and still have baby cycles of mild low mood and mild elevated mood. I meditate and exercise but my diet is shit.",3.8657998444386834,6.339656788177344,5.317728804770546,75.96688099559245,74.71428571428572,8.017526575058335,26.94036816178377,8.841846274778883,2.511301477832512,860,33,144,19,19,288,121,203,0.09699999999999999,0.7609999999999999,0.14300000000000002,0.8297,1,0,4,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,5,7,15,1,0,7,0,17,11,1,4,1,36,35,16,0,4,6,0,5,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,10,7,0,12,7,0,2,1,3,0,2,3,5,20,7,18,29,6,22,0,2,0,0,0,5,1,4,17,93,23,1,0.11376204328810705,0.0,0.11101534387715974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465913330298384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15909013153260107,0.23312531424993194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20122656502788488,0.12419868715972325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686495565394475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09082973466384132,0.0,0.0,0.2934684264872107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13038115748938953,0.0,0.1991078614206075,0.0,0.0,0.4457739710405437,0.0,0.0,0.19006717908131016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513875667641155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876075362670465,0.08127162645575474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17830791678856162,0.0,0.0646535908479476,0.0,0.09098589837793128,0.12542305434043122,0.0,0.0,0.10059939917475556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201958447034757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06252064385668744,0.09273124889746268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115677601560862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126363984276231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362819144522465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21351594234745772,0.0,0.0,0.12951884029325594,0.0,0.0,0.0770881047168426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085987427620097,0.07886827683888177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12887021846045307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035646916059549,0.0,0.0,0.11677510263075205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052135976934557,0.0,0.09085051472230436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145788247658081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10783311519054824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06709980060423265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265254951360564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282012241313826,0.0,0.0,0.0808132915593941,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lefthandbunny,2019/05/12,"Mother's Day When You Are Estranged I know there are a lot of lucky moms out there today, who have the joy of having kids they love & who love them back. This is for those of us who have kids that, for whatever reason, we won't get to celebrate with today. I have 2 kids that I am not in contact with. I'm not telling the stories, as this isn't what this is about. I just want to say that for any of you who feel sad, or angry, or isolated today, to treat yourself with kindness. This is one day & you can get through it.",2.601696428571429,3.347780062500004,3.5664285714285704,94.42857142857143,74.26785714285714,6.671428571428571,22.92857142857143,6.6274283507984215,0.3100857142857145,405,10,97,3,8,130,70,112,0.094,0.73,0.17600000000000002,0.8834,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,2,3,2,0,6,7,0,0,3,0,13,2,0,1,0,16,21,4,0,1,5,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,14,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,2,11,6,18,20,1,9,0,1,0,2,21,2,0,4,7,70,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4073925892624325,0.0,0.1278454257554752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14455924092821806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24248695767072834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505768958843562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19644291227832408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19577150624877127,0.1033190582161924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15982960057511142,0.33935196978101595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22018156934140426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273926480551346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932937676124939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14950395175214173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16431897409971585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5346017836065805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261390461079851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11088638531642483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,2017NYRes,2019/05/12,"Difficulty Making Decisions Prefacing this to say it's partly situational and due to long-term intense stress since I've been representing myself in a discrimination case at an employment tribunal which has dragged on since last August. All due to one solitary sick day several months into a contract and a bad manager's perception that I'd probably 'take a lot more time off' due to depression.

Anyway, other than going to work every day (I've been at my current job since last October and did an illness cover position for 6 weeks prior to that) I feel that I've made no progress in my life due to the stress and uncertainty. I've gone from being a generally outgoing, optimistic person even last autumn to someone very withdrawn (I've spent most weekends alone through choice this year) and pessimistic. I haven't been able to buy a house because I'm worried about potentially paying their legal costs, if I lose. I haven't been able to study for industry exams in case the exam dates clash with court dates.

I turned down an initial settlement (it was offensively low and they won't admit blame), and have been asked to come up with a more suitable figure before we're due back in court next month. If I don't settle then there's a hearing on disability to be held before September, then another case management hearing, then a final hearing. Then they could appeal if they lose. It could drag on until early next year, if not significantly longer. It's like being in limbo, unable to make any future plans and feeling trapped. They have accessed my medical records to pick apart and can continue to. It's intrusive. 

For a few months I've been getting a lot more depressed and anxious (but not dangerously so - I haven't felt suicidal or had hallucinations for a few years) and it's just sucked all happiness out of everything. On paper I'm ok - still going to work and have only missed five days in total (consecutive due to combined flu and depression) since last Oct. 

I get offered higher paying contracts by recruiters and people are interested in developing an app I designed, but I still just force myself to go to things and see nothing to look forward to ahead. Despite chatting to coworkers and friends I feel very alienated in general.

I'll try to see my GP this week and maybe take annual leave, though things seem unlikely to improve. Even if I take a settlement, I'll be letting the company off with discrimination and it'll take me months to go back to my normal brain state. On the other hand, maybe I'll keep getting worse pursuing it. 

I did consider asking for SSRIs, though based on my experiences between 16 - 27 it would just make my episodes more severe. I can't get anything else beyond beta blockers without being referred to psychiatry again (which can take at least 12 months) and none of those meds even worked for me (mood stabilisers, atypical antipsychotics, epilepsy meds.)

I struggle to even make basic decisions now, like buying a new phone (mine has been broken for weeks), going to the dentist (I keep putting it off) or getting a hair cut. I think most of my friends and coworkers would say that's I've been anxious but generally cheerful, but it's privately miserable. I've kept a detailed hand written mood journal since January and now it won't even be private since I'll probably need to hand it over as evidence of hurt feelings. 

The whole thing has been pretty soul destroying.",8.945032582938389,8.275715499210111,8.640959221958926,68.34376110781993,60.67456556082149,11.893542654028435,38.896573854660346,11.144777236671896,4.425047432859399,2753,121,467,63,32,886,329,633,0.125,0.7859999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.9236,3,2,0,0,0,0,66.0,0,0,5,8,22,28,5,4,26,1,41,11,5,6,3,84,91,41,1,11,17,0,9,2,2,5,6,5,0,1,28,27,0,5,13,2,6,9,12,18,0,2,20,17,35,8,80,57,17,91,1,9,3,0,19,29,1,12,56,287,63,14,0.12287554444523707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363100335998692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04177979190236049,0.064422861033458,0.0,0.13881439008992447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050558051701761315,0.0,0.11487204707706128,0.0,0.0,0.09448370902367596,0.05129797354842633,0.03745189570212322,0.0,0.10455803811141386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06858487249163799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05292320069765483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981061237654712,0.0,0.0,0.1188668413905178,0.0,0.15874878956907545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051323375169255385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20289534559804864,0.0,0.05176397288694424,0.0,0.05521630814326769,0.06009793021791995,0.0,0.0,0.12425913453705037,0.0,0.058989896062985825,0.06730207641529726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09493334083242333,0.0,0.16049350117891376,0.0,0.17458250894065291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06540165096170979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20773450336850596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07089094035170472,0.06577040585054203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060967508927177026,0.10921742969316037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20031993740663964,0.0,0.06505372986974749,0.0,0.06282428463404792,0.043395315451617886,0.06003078433245345,0.0,0.0,0.0543704950830739,0.05159225516867038,0.13746630388720066,0.0,0.10446439381628904,0.0,0.05813390558022755,0.16404076012287086,0.0,0.12344499999094045,0.0,0.13648702957003314,0.061892091932832474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451952181877845,0.0,0.0,0.0455553296278865,0.0,0.05933698325559579,0.13067953551016848,0.0,0.06019597230399072,0.05895119943348238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041631824480088835,0.04672619426734785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06653112024989905,0.0,0.04259321552221275,0.053645092939444534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06250430162821494,0.13248061939054342,0.0,0.0,0.061761930310283875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771556480608018,0.0,0.0,0.09791590017248512,0.055930640390120086,0.0,0.13881439008992447,0.0,0.30493176037782144,0.06905863011997145,0.0,0.0,0.0520560250311181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812856851877774,0.0,0.14075352100889002,0.06422809909757136,0.0,0.06720295105760618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23096779343158064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224495777197412,0.03936684369174062,0.1207245985442303,0.0,0.035824859052485364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04171221445787208,0.06682665387779814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138519273536137,0.0,0.0,0.14784502502307675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859307861721857,0.0,0.0592238200105898,0.0,0.13418228969520574,0.06239303995250201,0.06261033867057075,0.08728726130229708,0.0,0.0,0.11869173298464072
bipolarreddit,Mihkelp1,2019/05/12,"Strong urge to drink So I'm currently on 200mg Lamictal and 100mg Quetiapine. I was wondering what would happen if I were to drink on these medications. I have been sober for two months after coming out of inpatient and the urges have become stronger. It's like I'm just numb and drinking would make me feel something again. I am very aware of the long term damages of this, but I just don't care at the moment. I'm not depressed, but I'm not normal. I feel like I've gone off on a new axis. I feel irritable and weird, sometimes paranoid amd anxious. I don't see this getting better anytime soon. So is it safe to drink on these medications?",2.4643589743589764,4.535170230769236,3.7934615384615378,87.16070512820515,77.46153846153845,6.7948717948717965,24.679487179487186,7.793537801064563,1.2817948717948722,510,18,105,8,12,167,85,130,0.135,0.7140000000000001,0.152,0.5117,1,0,5,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,6,10,0,0,4,0,11,7,0,1,0,22,26,9,0,4,7,0,3,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,7,6,4,1,4,4,0,2,4,4,0,1,4,4,9,6,15,20,1,18,0,2,1,0,0,7,0,2,11,62,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17679781188209184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17283937141261896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13840946369507873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15955979562870307,0.0,0.0,0.1348088778847908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13479120628421712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6132325148262333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373897592131645,0.11180196044005417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176356878086348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13839036496891513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15291370453262362,0.0,0.0,0.13849550547902753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10446340408372302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3153098585655719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491494010518682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114641639786447,0.0,0.0,0.15333448038875944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12470837416600955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12047954538548528,0.15478018857418205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15287547500523047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129126960261428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16971503784188016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22234289677647226,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Jspeo,2019/05/12,I just can’t anymore. Everything is crap and I have very little hope it’ll ever get better. I need to be stable. Can’t get stable. Four meds in two months and they all made me worse. Just like all the other meds I’ve tried over the years. I don’t have a psych currently because my last one fucked me just like the past 5. They say ask for help well I’ve asked and asked and get no better. I hate my job and it’s incredibly stressful especially given my bipolar combined with ADHD and anxiety (I bartend). I feel like a zoo animal on display for all the drunks.  It’s loud and intense and I can barely get through a shift with the sensory overload and stress.  I don’t sleep well. My relationship sucks but I’m in no position to leave him. Everything feels like shit all the time. Nothing is enjoyable. I look forward to nothing. Every single thing is a task. I just want to crawl in bed forever though I can’t sleep. I’m fucking sick and it doesn’t matter.  If I had a physical illness it’d be acceptable to stay home from work. And people might give half a fuck. Life gets worse every day. I hate everything and just want to go away.,0.6995118674429008,3.138746952380956,2.4836512912375,91.44350649350649,88.13419913419914,5.783609493954322,20.519629795491863,7.237678284180719,0.6944535303776678,890,29,187,15,29,293,133,231,0.21899999999999997,0.657,0.124,-0.9840000000000001,2,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,2,3,9,21,8,2,12,0,18,12,4,1,5,36,45,15,0,5,7,0,2,4,0,2,4,2,2,0,7,14,1,0,3,1,0,2,8,10,2,4,3,5,23,11,18,37,5,18,0,0,1,3,10,8,6,3,13,110,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956035057640653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610493375199916,0.0,0.09866132591394744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.279012134158818,0.0,0.09346842655628758,0.0,0.0,0.060644480033991525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17597090229692094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06415890441385788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998890977626893,0.1676390025856235,0.0,0.26822922316495323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10060412780448401,0.14214267819535314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27591386922215233,0.25988123552523523,0.09543405023020092,0.05653900973100996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19643956827809134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06668198089858829,0.0,0.09979049269131196,0.09880998916752716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872244938583384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08109268046863298,0.0,0.10533911697289387,0.0,0.0,0.07026844148039238,0.19441129126437973,0.09970903270405684,0.0,0.0,0.08354144509453093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09413409949387933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210084372094798,0.0,0.0,0.10553672786227992,0.0,0.0,0.07940712337814343,0.0,0.0,0.07376607315243708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19091502686316605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741288527934929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496866752903063,0.0689696305058836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10680850943924552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911361371430636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021188239877842,0.0,0.0,0.1991115511663389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10603663206668047,0.0,0.0,0.2279170101943256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06609270222490189,0.0,0.09774245560568726,0.0,0.05800987930781407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06754305781964963,0.0,0.09718134352072236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08208466062017572,0.11735639829297953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17889600028262004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724254855086445,0.0,0.20276524657808534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06406438887577083
bipolarreddit,Ninetenthsofacent,2019/05/12,"At my wits end... tired after a year of fighting with meds and being tired (got put on neurontin) Hi there,

   I went inpatient a year ago and was placed on neurontin (gabapentin) for anxiety.  They also threw in another klonopin to boot, and I'm so tired and at this point so weary that I just don't know what to do.  I had tried to get off benzos in the first place, but apparently that didn't work out for me, so they added those, and I just can' t get off of them. The withdrawals for neurontin are fine, but after about 10 days or so, I start getting really, really afraid.  Even right now, after going back up, I'm living with a low level fear which isn't the best.  I have to see a neurologist tomorrow which is basically keeping me from going inpatient, other than the fear of them adding something else.  I went from waking up at 6 and going to bed at whenever, to I can't wake up.  Maybe 10?  Does anyone have any experience with this or have another way of having any energy at all?  I'm depressed from the drugs all the time, too, which doesn't help.  I'm working with my psych but I'm just so far from having any energy to deal with this.  I suppose I could try cutting out that last klonopin, which has been brought up but with the problems I've had with neurontin... I mean I'm twitching, tired, fingers and toes hurt.  Not what I call a solution.  I'm really sad over the whole thing and to boot, my wife couldn't take it any more and now we're separated.  I'm just hoping this neuro is a good guy at least.  Wish me luck, let me know if you found something that got you out of bed in the morning, caffeine doesn't seem to be it for me.  Thanks!",3.7751513975155286,4.5208099494047636,4.787153209109731,86.76074534161494,71.52976190476191,8.462525879917184,25.322981366459626,8.716276077567194,1.489448913043478,1277,36,281,22,23,418,172,336,0.156,0.769,0.075,-0.9797,1,0,3,0,2,0,47.0,0,2,4,4,17,16,2,3,15,0,26,10,4,0,2,45,58,22,0,6,12,1,1,0,0,0,6,0,2,1,19,19,0,1,5,0,0,8,8,10,0,1,12,2,26,6,55,41,6,53,0,4,1,0,13,28,0,6,16,181,45,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712958042425374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786037638645779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26736665757187306,0.2061346435854288,0.07519281152288837,0.0,0.0,0.0687277781084373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558017981423458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315097908771416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036672201436583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847785138508721,0.0,0.0,0.06338995606811759,0.101334332469397,0.08465841843639066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601564903827359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398706042503215,0.0,0.08211002645956092,0.0,0.08705719070118624,0.0,0.0,0.0649206804526657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614805386599533,0.0,0.22121077267835504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836067920404659,0.0,0.1077716754508212,0.0,0.0,0.15405992592960682,0.0,0.16758415885026276,0.08244233785780579,0.15722555697136645,0.0,0.0,0.09732414587261216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06588279332873978,0.0,0.0,0.09762574547747163,0.0,0.0,0.10522319989350803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736609792688291,0.0,0.0,0.10803699504889826,0.08012077979377462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005098292267964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867932911562919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09874713210237683,0.10706837690916167,0.10917981886833973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20538762131402247,0.0,0.09291734075768268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405179483330184,0.0,0.09881021494098556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18890436405830954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394049666568289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832568617574731,0.08948098887081779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15133936474704313,0.0,0.0,0.0695713064525713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390305710577699,0.0,0.0,0.09049370728053956,0.0,0.0,0.06530057719556043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057314627399480324,0.4518869791027538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334671003817556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801930378798612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822346117785456,0.0,0.10973907077678796,0.11303049902091213,0.0,0.0,0.14311492337806905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265931466089299
bipolarreddit,Baafsk,2019/05/12,"I need help but not sure how to reach out. Extremely afraid and anxious. Basically, I am almost on my max. I feel like I will just end my life eventually because this sadness is too much. I am feeling really, really bad.

But I am scared of telling them tomorrow and eventually go to a hospital. But like this is so so much. I've been crying randomly and I can't stand this anymore. And my anxiety is at its peak.

Oh god I hate this so so so much. I would give all to just finish this.",-0.2431714285714257,2.0476195400000035,2.6537142857142872,88.75900000000004,93.6,6.857142857142858,21.142857142857142,7.957251820313856,1.3886857142857147,374,14,82,10,14,131,64,100,0.258,0.624,0.11699999999999999,-0.9670000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,1,0,9,8,1,2,1,0,10,1,0,1,2,20,16,13,0,2,6,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,1,2,13,3,7,13,4,8,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,2,5,58,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20982311328001493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602968169499052,0.23671950903039385,0.20780645511891707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17495637310758896,0.12773307374143214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301688319746657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18558942376763235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118985020292015,0.14969475528156068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20100897177558774,0.1190858837472221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20687645311276848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14044962342112674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14800364373277836,0.204740413219152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4621059845473037,0.1553705672192233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684721908314844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20978516598682054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19748809606414275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18314638519754686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488505451538717,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,VerlanderFan_23,2019/05/12,"Rate all of the medications you’ve taken 1-10 for anxiety/bipolar/depression Here are the one’s I’ve taken:
Gabapentin: 8 for anxiety 
Lexapro: 1 for anxiety 
CBD Oil: 4 for anxiety


Let’s see yours!",0.7807692307692307,3.3174761794871803,3.5860256410256426,80.9298076923077,94.89743589743591,8.753846153846155,29.57692307692308,8.841846274778883,3.6664153846153855,157,9,30,6,6,55,28,39,0.172,0.828,0.0,-0.5255,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,5,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,13,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7581421743070563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845268323166093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3378015306070366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3327891994181412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22385124022113956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632432756035355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,imakehersay,2019/05/12,"Worried about oncoming mania, so I would love to hear your coping skills! So for reference, I’m about to be 27 and I was diagnosed with type 1 when I was 12. I’m not sure about everyone else, but I’ve definitely noticed that with every manic episode, I get worse with time (I’m aware that mania does damage your brain). It’s scary having your cognitive functions and general memory fade so young. I’m becoming aware that I kind of “lose” myself for longer periods of time.

I am unmedicated because of crap insurance, poor mental health care where I live, and honestly pride that I can do this alone (working on that).  Plus last time the meds almost killed me.. so I’m  still nervous about trying something else.


Anyways, if you’re in a similar situation, how do you manage this? I’m heading into my typical manic phase (Energy>sleep<$$ I don’t have), and I’ve finally gotten myself back on track from last year’s shit episode. I finally have a job I love, and I signed a lease for the first time in almost five years. I’m scared that this isn’t going to end well.

Please give me all your coping mechanism techniques!! 

Also cheers to everyone in this boat with me. 

Fuck this shit, am I right?",4.310845410628017,6.0421879782608725,5.143768115942031,80.94294685990342,71.3913043478261,8.763285024154591,26.690821256038646,9.2995712137729,2.287792270531401,945,32,179,21,18,307,138,230,0.22,0.654,0.126,-0.98,1,1,1,0,0,0,40.0,0,5,0,5,16,18,5,2,5,0,14,10,5,1,2,23,30,15,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,12,11,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,9,1,2,3,1,24,9,26,25,1,27,0,2,0,3,9,8,4,3,18,104,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409808036556132,0.12462278583505733,0.0,0.09622569204406513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925242602882151,0.0,0.07335040044547812,0.13289204052341194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13432505264288935,0.0,0.0,0.12268169372113802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212966864331018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529922421510428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010360250290332,0.0,0.1065742657955452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138093329387804,0.2299557682878809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636253339557578,0.0,0.10235033321735792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124064264690668,0.06286604381258461,0.1154289029536655,0.06838477306155255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12349051615097192,0.12790228477734658,0.13561760335279546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940627063420375,0.0,0.13312432077137812,0.12530235829179326,0.0,0.19616560591293547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062512034498117,0.0,0.0,0.13461546136520827,0.0,0.0,0.21720015807864046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13365649571121954,0.0,0.1212616091868473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13699341961500566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13208323315211426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275885002267443,0.0,0.0,0.12046861068890967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470284724455328,0.0,0.13525291787109436,0.12041419106227925,0.0,0.0,0.09263382814201336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09609353092887406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340704881840813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806552467520238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169433286601628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818868635257116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759970176246214,0.1221982059847316,0.12262379052959425,0.08547705597115614,0.0,0.0,0.15497366209418334
bipolarreddit,greenbeanz17,2019/05/12,"Does it sound like i’m becoming manic? So I sort of impulsively quit my job without another one secured yet. It was somewhat premeditated as I’ve been miserable in my career for quite some time. 

I also applied to become a Playboy bunny which is a huge jump out of my comfort zone lol.

These decisions are kind of unlike me but I’m really believing in following my dreams right now.

Does it sound like mania or just a change in my thinking? I don’t wanna get pushed over the edge.",2.78693567251462,5.039380863157895,4.798245614035089,79.4621637426901,77.21052631578948,8.011695906432749,26.345029239766077,8.841846274778883,2.3270467836257307,382,15,71,9,9,131,74,95,0.039,0.8109999999999999,0.15,0.8584,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,6,6,0,1,4,1,5,0,0,0,0,11,10,5,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,1,0,1,2,1,0,3,2,1,0,1,2,2,9,5,13,8,2,13,0,1,0,0,0,7,0,4,5,46,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16613446385869066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178398769413139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4588784436766466,0.0,0.23405868960324566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21976780482510566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3635999864090636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853875157310304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20615592708956432,0.0,0.0,0.21633557185022667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029884805159558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14077411925053926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4419270527473102,0.0,0.0,0.1330874574804633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17741401586839042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311529863479585,0.0,0.0,0.12113840897845685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20025980616416764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jWlt6400,2019/05/12,"Anyone not cried in a long, long while? I don’t get why, like it’s been months+ since I have. I guess like any “up” moods makes me not care for emotions, and “down” moods I’m just so numb. And yet I could really use a good cry cause so much has happened.

Anyone else relate?",-0.3961083743842373,1.7146795862068984,1.0690147783251265,102.15603448275864,89.34482758620689,4.0039408866995085,13.458128078817735,5.288315135182226,-1.3604906403940884,208,3,51,1,7,66,46,58,0.147,0.679,0.17300000000000001,0.1567,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,2,0,5,1,0,3,0,10,12,5,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,5,4,4,10,1,8,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,7,27,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378750289426696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28353107248068543,0.20773843649169102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20671425347389366,0.2082771941462669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16187711855086154,0.0,0.4454164946756296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16936924562558156,0.2280632786263061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10592702889409514,0.0,0.0,0.17005470796508326,0.0,0.0,0.22334886704346787,0.0,0.17928865394825585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19810405342925025,0.0,0.0,0.35884973293907474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13533531116295788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16183085776612005,0.0,0.1490424992528571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12988502953693642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16771455518449652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17510845931639368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18294778674254208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cat-pants,2019/05/12,"How do you deal with severe libido changes? [NSFW] Of late, I'm like two totally different people as far as libido is concerned. 

In November, my libido was through the roof and I was really wild. 

For the past several months I've been completely uninterested in sex. 

How do you guys deal with this? 

(I'm going to the gyno soon to get checked out, maybe there's something hormone-related going on)",2.3930666666666696,5.187300573333335,4.18,79.93666666666667,83.26666666666667,7.6,25.666666666666664,8.515128840125781,2.4324666666666674,313,13,55,8,9,105,57,75,0.040999999999999995,0.925,0.035,-0.1179,1,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,6,2,0,2,1,7,11,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,4,1,13,8,1,11,0,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,5,34,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22699442181927576,0.0,0.22498030609821906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4424397245954877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22418769728645946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210782752245972,0.0,0.2438985461341341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21246534736572995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420526370770596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483167178960004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155718248065834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712736218476835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048383943124004,0.1487609412317607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13746376766249654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4848227369807455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16519215459222406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096109262333435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Genevievemina,2019/05/12,Seroquel made me sleep for way to long. What shouold I do? My doctor prescribed me 300mg ER of Quetiapine which is the generic name for Seroququel XR. I took it for the first time last night. It made me pass out instantly. I then slept for 17 hours. I couldnt bring myself to wake up and I ended up missing work. The doctors office is closed now and I can't get a hold of him. My friend recommended that I just cut it in half and take it that way. But I also dont wan't to do that because it's not what my doctor said to do.,0.24266961651917285,2.2350543805309715,2.0754203539823024,96.95495943952804,84.84070796460179,4.828613569321534,19.151179941002948,5.985473137389443,-0.3312412979351036,407,11,97,3,12,134,75,113,0.040999999999999995,0.9109999999999999,0.048,0.1779,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,3,3,1,0,4,0,8,6,3,2,0,13,17,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,11,5,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,2,1,2,5,1,16,1,14,11,0,19,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,9,64,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506804801741179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114859902021044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5785716869360235,0.0,0.0,0.22082841107604706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688538375928744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16027109836851153,0.0,0.0,0.1455738624456912,0.0,0.09844237507784832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18555706857582452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15358854306328135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16674695955973953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3565776617639685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768206666891279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17923184554586816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885574189555676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416694008472533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987000053118544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093430453431108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991201840633958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371729820205686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,_B-26354_,2019/02/17,"Help with potentially changing psychiatrists? Hello all,

I was diagnosed as BPII a little over a year ago and began seeing a psychiatrist not long after. Personally I think the world of my psychiatrist. But I am still struggling a lot. At times I feel like we've made no progress. Dealing with the illness has been a long, difficult learning experience that has also been painful at times. I know that it can potentially take years to find the right combination of medications. So I've tried to keep this in mind through all the medication adjustments and changes. I'm beginning to lose hope that there is a drug or a combination of them that will allow me to function like a (mostly) normal person. I've talked with my therapist about getting a second opinion on the medication side. But I just don't know how to have that conversation with my psychiatrist. This is a new situation for me and I'm really conflict-avoidant.",5.833017751479289,7.843304609467458,6.656331360946747,70.4944378698225,67.99408284023669,10.170414201183434,33.11834319526628,10.389873798559362,3.8357005917159768,745,34,128,21,13,246,110,169,0.096,0.812,0.09300000000000001,-0.128,0,1,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,2,7,7,0,1,15,0,12,7,0,3,2,31,26,10,0,2,5,0,1,2,0,1,7,0,0,2,8,7,0,1,7,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,5,2,12,3,22,20,4,21,0,1,1,0,8,9,0,5,14,88,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12411084194735468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196632952852156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962250442597783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443446560824838,0.0,0.14210768905942522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623677053369203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695711443580605,0.0,0.0,0.07079350506238635,0.10002351422359214,0.0,0.0,0.1279670413670121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07314969659507331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09384607282691948,0.0,0.0,0.13906199717649947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444774689104494,0.0,0.0,0.1538921954139066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13680409574304273,0.1403272821015537,0.0,0.24780973620963784,0.0,0.1566359127866671,0.0,0.1190319024838772,0.0,0.13248130060854427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4231374834430903,0.0,0.0,0.14137067136045306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13522299314709094,0.0,0.0,0.1371805424499295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489810212040776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445034997373741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896942980659648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195681841221979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157022460158986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573776446846872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181254944484534,0.0,0.0,0.14636935225894754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10527045574212604,0.11253511957441804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625629575079241,0.0,0.0897130616132027,0.0,0.0,0.16328247256125478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505792475984866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18032431619544054
bipolarreddit,KahleenB,2019/02/17,"Medication changes I’ll try and make this as short and sweet as I can. 

Currently I’m on seroquel, Effexor (started last month) and Wellbutrin. During this past week I had a pretty severe manic episode. I’m going to see my doctor on Tuesday and I think I’m going to request finally trying lithium. 

I’m just wondering if anyone has experience or advice they are willing to share. It’s always nice to hear from someone who’s experienced before trying it myself. I’m gonna be coming off the Effexor for sure so I hope I don’t get hit with withdrawal bad.

Thanks guys. ",2.7949140049140047,5.210300252252253,4.8229320229320285,78.45759213759214,78.009009009009,7.27960687960688,27.208026208026208,8.296473431620573,2.273911711711712,452,19,79,9,11,155,83,111,0.054000000000000006,0.757,0.18899999999999997,0.9208,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,2,7,0,0,2,0,7,2,0,1,1,14,26,9,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,5,6,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,1,4,8,6,12,21,0,15,0,0,1,0,6,4,0,4,8,42,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18028783858694386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535158626563548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12900423831352756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540468660084704,0.0,0.0,0.15699292752619487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951728272166466,0.15892739308531847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18883997932394686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18047297316582447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021068909837508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639180326684407,0.0,0.20970721844842447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18268053548889066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20794095745669774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832466475962713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15038926697257635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12315284233752508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18586080761963086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14726334125629426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17612277967032647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876992620144158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470198188212086,0.0,0.0,0.20842852330261427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15632328059376593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305875680024226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17388576210340587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16985958372572754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11821790366890625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3757830261331359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479919587742827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20007857757437225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lordhooters,2019/02/17,nightmare related to my bipolar disorder I have been extremely manic the past week or so and a few nights ago I experienced a nightmare that really irked me. I get weird dreams and nightmares quite a lot but this one was extremely unsettling. It started off with me walking down a street in the city I live in and I could see something up ahead so I started walking towards it. When I got close enough I saw a person with a bag over their head being held in handcuffs by two men and was wearing a nightgown of some sort with “BIPOLAR” written across it. They were knocking door to door telling people to stay away from people with bipolar disorder and that they’re freaks. I started running down the street and I passed two children in a window sewing dolls (not sure what that was about but pretty creepy) and after that I woke up. Overall it was a horrifying dream and I would like to know if anyone else with bipolar disorder has had a nightmare similar to that. ,5.4084448160535095,6.778599978260871,5.321304347826088,82.12102006688964,68.23913043478261,8.052842809364549,32.63210702341137,8.384062270229773,2.5391317725752507,772,34,141,11,13,240,113,184,0.09300000000000001,0.825,0.08199999999999999,-0.2732,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,2,4,4,0,0,13,0,12,6,2,0,1,28,23,15,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,3,3,11,14,0,1,1,2,0,4,1,2,0,3,12,3,17,2,29,8,4,31,0,0,2,0,6,16,0,6,11,105,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13606391379443608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10732716065308237,0.15727360216353506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442134543733186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225531392856415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5277551524230522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12822524230522545,0.0,0.0,0.1586012008745983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08019471832946784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276384510213502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575299885039901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435674950668806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498982521528165,0.0,0.1355387553609494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304958234448525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440445087671819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040120756665633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465281925265427,0.2128279896979993,0.13402577320688733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561594340778628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16326065577312598,0.0,0.0,0.09833272459046444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231551397142187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11816782646249475,0.0,0.0,0.3259333121186679,0.1636050756801781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14466706961362613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416125520928626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2998843088756525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12312430151425666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090383299396807,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,alis_volat_propriis1,2019/02/17,"____ time of year is really hard for people with depression- quoth the person without depression about every single season or holiday lol Sorry just anyone else ever notice this?  It’s well meaning and probably motivates people to check in on their loved ones so that’s good, not trying to say it’s not 

It just makes me chuckle that it’s said about literally every single season 

Holidays?  Hard time for people with depression.  Winter?  Summer?  Somehow even the spring and fall lol 

Every holiday there’s articles about it, esp Valentine’s Day which I learned is the deadliest day for suicides.  

",3.5565714285714307,6.795761990476192,4.446666666666669,75.65000000000002,86.23809523809523,7.371428571428572,24.142857142857146,8.238735603445708,2.5814000000000004,479,18,69,12,15,154,71,105,0.12300000000000001,0.667,0.21,0.8989,0,0,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,1,1,11,7,0,0,3,2,2,1,0,2,1,16,6,4,1,0,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,9,4,0,0,3,3,1,1,3,3,1,1,1,4,3,4,14,5,2,14,0,3,0,1,5,2,0,2,11,47,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925802820350586,0.16010303036333026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20154475522202692,0.0,0.4037499301051252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305320764561132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320580311350648,0.14134275638938254,0.3949579803121592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106035903880486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799498805121973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14102739862920835,0.0,0.10430228415250656,0.0,0.0,0.17020890338674685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17789881709596908,0.0,0.0,0.10588330323407456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3249853023143165,0.13643696171528436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684707044520211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001017778841612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486355101694681,0.1242612701732472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749161191146512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17091901529466674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822285937137576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10608776115781206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14049316660156594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15062548353749572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062392502159928
bipolarreddit,TheVilleGirl,2019/02/17,"Been on the downward side lately. Would you guys pray, send good vibes, remember  me in meditation,  sacrifice a goat or whatever you do?  I could really use the boost. Thanks guys.",3.17625,6.225134125000004,4.123750000000001,79.74625000000002,82.75,9.45,23.625,9.516144504307137,2.9579125000000013,140,5,25,5,4,45,29,32,0.0,0.701,0.299,0.8768,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,1,0,5,6,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,2,2,3,0,6,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,1,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24845323998126906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26100441832808113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6162375483958537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35102647444516377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993509441136697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3525081674199776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864942703571397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687610482244694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22105452796699016,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,scienceofspin,2019/02/17,That scene in Insidious Where the demon is in his workshop playing “tip toe through the tulips”. I’ve never seen a more accurate depiction of my manic episodes tbh ,6.7940000000000005,8.098055066666667,6.780000000000001,73.17000000000002,65.0,10.0,38.33333333333333,10.125756701596842,4.1963333333333335,132,7,22,3,2,42,28,30,0.0,0.938,0.062,0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,4,1,1,4,1,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,14,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,two_fat_furry_pigs,2019/02/17,"Hypersensitivity Does anyone else suffer with extreme hypersensitivity? Stress really pushes me to lose all control and react in withdrawal, tears, fear and extreme reckless behavior like quitting my job because in that moment I'd give my arm to get away. Controlling stressors is something I never could do. Does anyone else have a similar problem or perhaps any pointers? I feel like I'm losing a hold no my life. 🙁",5.72127201565558,8.747666958904112,6.904540117416833,64.13493150684931,71.1917808219178,8.007045009784736,33.71624266144814,8.841846274778883,3.6392050880626217,340,17,47,7,7,114,58,73,0.32,0.61,0.07,-0.9668,1,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,5,1,8,0,2,2,0,4,2,1,3,2,13,8,3,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,0,1,6,2,6,7,1,6,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,1,4,25,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490922610404787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363033855010369,0.34627101299468865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587581712580961,0.0,0.0,0.10300597861564148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37904108549758414,0.13491329473713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29574343348832605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28231492083681936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19014456720367312,0.08543915811847615,0.12071622728362005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828279498518096,0.16209682615311755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16768224419800734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935248808179705,0.1651059197753328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3780810261568019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13032442659634558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16168686187186482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17972638726095422,0.0,0.0,0.1082501185388457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13008569909272344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19356101878570628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Jakeas,2019/02/17,"Sleep Apnea I have a sleep study appt in April to see if my Pdoc's suspicion is correct. I'm also 99% sure I have sleep apnea due to my loud snoring, waking up choking for air and my husband just recorded a cycle of me not breathing last night.

We all know proper sleep is crucial for managing Bipolar disorder. What I'm wondering is how did getting diagnosed and treated for sleep apnea help you manage your disorder? Is it possible that my daytime fatigue will be reduced? Did your cycles decrease in severity or at least in length? Did you notice any changes at all?

To know that I stop breathing while I am sleeping kinda freaks me out. Any other advice is welcome.",3.5528645833333314,5.955391890625003,4.6106250000000015,81.00520833333336,75.40625,6.766666666666668,30.979166666666664,7.793537801064563,2.4531541666666667,534,26,90,8,12,174,88,128,0.129,0.812,0.06,-0.8056,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,4,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,0,13,12,9,1,4,18,20,7,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,5,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,2,15,3,14,15,3,14,0,1,1,0,8,8,0,4,6,61,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12873724095773895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10535442530568627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17917882789249406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13936609081746554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13371585882487216,0.0,0.0,0.3019766248099237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06883001593881959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830421709373895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14480445929713584,0.10738771650628892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363140666710735,0.0,0.0,0.14998970324464214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485198679475145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10498171140934467,0.0,0.0,0.14883151984727122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7910258245088699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11014262449402668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12416574201831584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14286911559623605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Rakosman,2019/02/17,"DAE hang out with friends and feel even more alone and isolated afterwards? I've been feeling more and more alone lately. Not really depressed necesarily; it persists through my cycles. You always hear that you should go out and do things when you feel down but immediately afterward I just feel so worthless and unwanted. I have fun, I appreciate the event, I remember it fondly. It just totally drains me though.",4.682363013698629,7.859086328767128,4.941352739726028,75.8881934931507,76.12328767123287,9.12945205479452,29.67294520547945,9.516144504307137,3.5027547945205466,334,15,55,10,8,105,54,73,0.149,0.655,0.19699999999999998,0.6342,0,2,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,1,6,5,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,20,10,9,0,2,4,0,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,5,8,0,0,5,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,1,5,9,3,5,8,4,10,0,2,0,0,5,3,0,0,5,41,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5051481382940398,0.0,0.0,0.20291800741914887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21004345699630453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16107274863723148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.493228671268217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18841208629160155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385960062127983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748573601308976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2750941268317902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562283129519621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27625530715525004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620152990256397,0.0,0.2395994208039697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mistyterrain,2019/09/19,"My life is over tbh I'm 21 years old. I'm a full time student, double majoring. I'm in two orchestras, and I work 10 hours a week workstudy for the art department. It's my senior year and I'm taking 20 credits, 6 classes. I have psychosis, like right fucking now. How can I not feel like my life is fucking over and this is going to be a cycle I am in forever and ever?",0.34937499999999844,2.1874371875000023,3.207500000000003,89.87750000000004,83.375,6.0,23.75,7.1686216300943375,0.9727500000000004,285,11,63,4,8,101,56,80,0.0,0.895,0.105,0.7579,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,2,0,4,0,7,4,0,1,1,8,16,5,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,2,1,2,1,2,0,1,0,1,7,3,6,15,3,17,0,0,0,2,0,6,2,0,11,37,9,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277949356721409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12733297291050066,0.17990762593011825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.46562613287033,0.0,0.0,0.14312097031359278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480021309581164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3557503951676666,0.24606314098932405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642535510822703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21506171133033555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18934505471194915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14684428067998373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460016234319694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20200308692372235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833354671534869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.324340929990458
bipolarreddit,imamess777,2019/09/19,"Just came home from probably the most needed vacation/trip i needed. Hasn’t been 24 hrs yet and I’m hit with the most angry, annoyed, irritable, low episode I’ve had in awhile. I hate being home. I hate that I used the vacation to work on myself and anxiety and it helped so much and now I’m back home and I hate everyone even more than I left. I can’t stand being around anyone whose close to me. I’m so dissatisfied with everything. What do I do? Does anyone experience this?",1.2364104967197775,3.6359371958762914,3.298575445173384,87.11959700093723,84.25773195876289,7.2386129334582945,20.158388003748826,8.296473431620573,1.2023896907216494,376,11,79,9,11,127,64,97,0.281,0.7190000000000001,0.0,-0.9808,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,8,5,4,0,3,0,8,0,0,1,0,16,19,7,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,10,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,3,0,10,0,9,13,4,11,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,2,3,51,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168390533338098,0.0,0.0,0.240723602240892,0.0,0.0,0.1532379265183594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323622969026503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19687822952697973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15063775852692365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369449506892325,0.0,0.0,0.1644837450295963,0.1547051327228492,0.1683824685744666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5098472905283141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537942715653908,0.0,0.5180006529756284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18702674557037827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12654008956840973,0.2552739780439166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855921963565597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14867061567781598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125317378351886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Megang17,2019/09/19,meds: lamictal/lamotrigine my psych just prescribed me lamictal to start taking to then wean me off of Latuda (i'm convinced it's making me gain weight). i'm also taking prozac. anyone have experiences good or bad with lamictal? thanks!!,2.614285714285714,5.302846023809527,3.8765476190476207,76.62053571428574,100.66666666666669,6.861904761904763,21.91666666666667,7.645422480735847,2.2101809523809526,191,7,29,5,8,62,34,42,0.071,0.674,0.255,0.8395,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,4,8,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,3,5,8,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,15,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496857062250517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21831453063556125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26069429724303755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054153332028138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618789780389493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084121833734571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34681087570603475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209940075457104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4695077207100951,0.0,0.0,0.28745424010728393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3802051542147791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ByePolarCoordinates,2019/09/19,"I have to get a mammogram. I’m 33. I found a lump in my breast, my doc checked it out, and now I have to go in for a mammogram and ultrasound. I couldn’t get in until mid-October. I’m struggling to not waste any energy worrying until then, but it’s hard. I suppose I’m relatively low risk, but I do have a prior personal history of cancer and I’m not sure what that does to my overall risk level. 

My bipolar has been stable for almost two years. It was a STRUGGLE to get to this point. It cost me my job and contributed to the end of my marriage. I finally turned things around with extensive ECT and I feel like I’ve just started to thrive again in my personal and professional life. 

I have a number of other chronic health conditions that I’ve put a lot of work into to get optimally managed and have just recently started to feel like things had fallen into place and were all under control. If it’s not one thing, it’s another...

I am aware this could be absolutely nothing, but I can’t help but feel a little panicked given my poor track record with health stuff. 


I’m tired of being a professional patient. I just want to live my life. 

Can anyone relate?",3.3966288416075656,4.77678290638298,5.168049645390076,81.26361111111113,73.12765957446808,8.626477541371159,27.52364066193853,9.150863307647796,2.284782505910165,913,34,183,20,18,312,132,235,0.18600000000000005,0.7440000000000001,0.07,-0.9818,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,6,8,0,4,10,0,18,12,1,1,2,37,37,16,0,4,11,0,4,2,0,0,11,0,0,2,16,14,0,1,4,0,3,3,5,5,0,2,6,4,22,3,31,27,2,29,0,1,0,1,4,14,0,3,14,123,38,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186087336270358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08954852805465131,0.13808044788967894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09207537577003692,0.0,0.0,0.11722522872750915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14769297657531705,0.10513765837891882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523613050325532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663149555989258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19974769060259034,0.1881478247146269,0.0,0.14425160115914865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14438292328968255,0.0,0.0,0.27519441602766204,0.0,0.07483812622264498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11796153961760035,0.0,0.0,0.2799444058611148,0.0,0.0,0.08826391772701128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067443457704395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860223062978012,0.12866671015261127,0.13198033022766825,0.11627794637744485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195164306026116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12635278674105332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923138274920238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299599347602695,0.1375800508286842,0.0,0.12448240436810955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13237715405632264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13002045536419612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864109203217933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753260115501362,0.15074481038990442,0.0,0.0,0.12410907653916553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26245174871483595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513495145326288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14323260641315885,0.1286345425484361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766967435642876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09586633462487884,0.13372984005422822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479912973134253
bipolarreddit,foxinsoxandbox,2019/09/19,"Anyone have a bipolar child? Does anyone have a child with (diagnosed or suspected) bipolar? I read through the Family of Bipolar sub, but that seemed to be all adult family members. 

I’ve been diagnosed as BP-1, but started the diagnosis process after my young child was diagnosed with a suspected mood disorder. (They’ve been under the care of a psychiatrist for the last 2.5 years, current diagnosis is DMDD but we suspect that is incorrect.)

Today is even rougher than usual. They were up all night (“can’t sleep because I’m not tired”), Alternately raging and physical, or overly hyper and pressured speech, antagonizing for the last 3 hours. I left a message for their p-doc at 6 this morning and am desperately hoping for a call back today. 

I’m working with my own p-doc to get my BP under control, I’m about 5 weeks into the slow titration of Lamictal. But trying to help them manage their episodes makes it even harder to deal with my own. And then there’s the guilt, that I inadvertently passed this condition on to my child, even though I didn’t know I had it. (I have other children that don’t show any signs, but this one is totally different.)

I’m just feeling very alone right now, and feeling that we may never find the right meds for this child. Which immediately triggers the guilt that a child this young is even on a cocktail of meds, even though they obviously need it.",5.72471264367816,7.0072596513409975,6.160019157088126,76.72439655172415,67.42911877394636,9.324904214559387,31.358237547892717,9.586721724236666,2.9228099616858243,1103,44,201,23,18,356,150,261,0.106,0.823,0.071,-0.855,2,1,0,0,0,0,38.0,2,0,5,2,12,7,1,3,17,0,19,8,1,3,5,41,33,16,0,2,9,0,2,0,0,1,7,1,0,8,16,12,1,1,8,3,0,1,5,4,0,1,6,3,18,2,31,25,5,31,0,0,0,0,19,11,0,5,19,133,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226814447042874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805520101738519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16564999485558835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910829415848336,0.0,0.072207767110899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12095361906738936,0.0,0.12077059041512955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13285496043486847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211970264603515,0.0,0.3606814939183222,0.0,0.12375803259778535,0.13575724565264569,0.0,0.1036589004682294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.391185001137304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22333363831822928,0.0,0.11978665538610553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826377272534694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061886733040767285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939645858155388,0.0,0.0,0.11765042229795912,0.11665221158772557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509859683600842,0.19310978946131785,0.0,0.0,0.1286993844940387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07906820724014504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631488596261529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878312985434321,0.0913581519345072,0.0,0.0,0.1111599896571668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026672696008963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184849201040628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20231619911976906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078350395871757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853841031904512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384154757470769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23275867703926026,0.0,0.0,0.13614414328507338,0.2245589315251268,0.0,0.0,0.08042171993667996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13045909598705432,0.09773601907571199,0.0,0.0,0.09501574339770244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623509654251682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627976147954216
bipolarreddit,accountforpoetry96,2019/09/19,"I need help It has been almost a month where I have been struggling getting out of bed. And every task has been an effort. In this time I had good sleep routines, healthy diet, a busy social life and fair amount of exercise. But after a while and seeing no changes I slowly started to give up. This week I have been only one day in Campus, and I spend almost all day in my bed sleeping or wasting time on the internet. My social skills are slowly becoming worse and worse as I get more and more anxious about everything.
My memory is shit, my focus is shit,  and I’m loosing money since I’m skipping lunches and dinners I paid for in my monthly bill. Instead I buy from a vending machine in the middle of the night so I don’t have to interact. 
I have an excellent summer where I was manic but a milder and functional period, and this gigantic drop felt unexpected and really is taking all my hopes.

HELP",4.8531273408239715,5.756984780898879,5.906235955056182,79.13759363295883,69.1685393258427,8.629962546816481,29.44007490636704,8.841846274778883,2.3791782771535583,713,26,132,12,12,237,111,178,0.10400000000000001,0.7959999999999999,0.10099999999999999,0.3656,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,5,6,2,1,10,0,17,9,4,0,2,22,29,17,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,4,12,3,0,1,1,5,0,2,3,0,1,8,2,18,3,18,21,5,25,0,0,1,0,6,11,2,4,13,92,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29799351401368923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680960625091467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16433245113007028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15740544165475462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19192100557395636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253662536929897,0.0,0.13372740360941468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142866589689846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15547855284459106,0.14273777781513627,0.0,0.1248022349671254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19946838158533464,0.0,0.0,0.1477870659967778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509834973209682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375335911312225,0.0,0.0,0.11032964999944636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13963408211200126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008273820263362,0.11316534643548798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09532192415577873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857039652280317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054719772230432,0.12308480943579744,0.0,0.2978050316658785,0.3033556464914556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10531790777014703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15555290130590954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11187536570847972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17352718958796312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193544202050241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30326975167543546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,doyouhaveanymedicine,2019/09/19,"Anyone experience a temporary ""destablisation"" on increase of mood stabilizer as your body/brain/mind initially aclimates to the higher dose? Seems every time I go up on dosage i become unstable for a duration. As a concept id describe it almost like when you change a radio station with a dial, as you go up you spend time between stations or channels and experience static (unstable strange confused period) before you effectively tune into the next one and the signal becomes clear again. In other words it throws you out of wack for a while before becoming better than before the dose increase. Have experienced a milder form of this ""effect"" as I worked my way from 100mg upward to 250mg by 50mg increments. Since being on the 300mg its been 3-4 weeks and ive recently noticed it more severely, plus other side effects. I've experienced what i describe as a mixed episode the past 1-2 weeks or so, but im wondering if it's just a hightened version of what ive described due to the dosage being higher. Overall i have responded very well to lamotrigine (my psychs words, plus i can vouch for them). 20 year old male by the way.",6.6869516994633305,7.1876163069767465,7.489767441860469,70.82148479427548,65.0,10.522361359570665,34.67799642218248,10.389873798559362,3.760277280858677,906,39,156,21,13,303,139,215,0.036000000000000004,0.895,0.07,0.6953,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,6,1,5,5,5,0,1,17,0,8,2,0,3,1,23,12,17,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,10,8,0,0,5,2,1,5,0,1,1,1,1,2,17,3,32,9,5,30,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,7,15,98,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428836711717716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977233867058866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4727705028313109,0.364256672621,0.0,0.0,0.1261979281937244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15928950655659793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15094736165977268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12022268758428857,0.0,0.0,0.2791568840680569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621883117502916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15412995292277626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971124729938015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14407647342077667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15175269685744527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16245379236879354,0.1497294115255952,0.0,0.09669060446664493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362139868472107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14088940499249325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12989984212951594,0.0,0.16119936435746138,0.0,0.11803484714004045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16640766144533736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773439780711326,0.0,0.22652175334685745,0.2289150189851273,0.0,0.12829566879026916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15474148650809588,0.10388019951382008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188784101905273
bipolarreddit,amaracibo,2019/09/19,"I’m done. It’s currently 6:17am and I have to be awake by 1pm tomorrow to make it to work on time. If I put my phone down and get some sleep I can get 6 hours of sleep. And shit man, 6 hours of sleep can be a great thing for us BP folks. However, I feel like I legitimately CAN’T. As soon as my head hits that pillow it’s just going to be me trying to convince myself to be happy. In reality I know I can’t. Even the hypermania seems like false happiness sometimes, and my highs are HIGH. 

Last night I had a dream me and a large group of people I care for were walking in a forested area with unique scenery and an overwhelmingly beautiful lake. All I remember is having to walk across this section of the forest that intersected with the lake itself, causing it to be a dangerous path. Everyone of my friends made it across. But I did not. I was the last one to go and as soon as I stepped foot in that water I was overcome with huge waves that ended up bringing me out to some sort of lake waterfall and ultimately caused me to fall, and fall, and fall. I remember having actual feelings of hopelessness and danger. I could hear my friends in the muffled distance screaming out for me. “AVERY! AVERY! WHERE ARE YOU?” Over and over again. I didn’t know where I was landing, what I was landing on, and if I was going to live through this or not. It felt so real. The pain, the fear, the everything. After about what seemed like an eternity of falling I calmly woke up from my dream. No sudden jerk awake, nothing. I simply woke up calmly and realized that I can’t escape my pain even in my dreams. I have no control over my emotions. 

And I have dreams like this every. single. night. It’s not like I’m going to bed every night thinking about my worst fears. It doesn’t matter what I’m feeling or how good of a day it was, I still have shitty dreams. 

And to top it all off I’m currently going through some weird mixed-mania bipolar BULLSHIT. I’m going to go to bed tonight (potentially) and think about how good of a writer I am and how this post is going to impact the entire world. Then I’m going to wake up this morning, reread it, and realize I’m just like everyone else and nothing about me is special. I’m just a person that is craving contentment but can’t reach it because the chemicals in my brain want to be on that fuck shit. 

I’d elaborate to give more context on what I’m feeling, the medications I’ve been on, what got me to this point etc. but I’m sure everyone here knows what being bipolar feelings like. If you made it this far, thank you. Wish me luck. I wish all of you luck and thank you for listening.",3.030622710622712,4.482552078799248,4.280861699276336,86.9740540963102,74.17823639774859,7.402644509961583,25.44844992405968,8.037061389416179,1.376622478334674,2050,68,432,31,42,674,240,533,0.084,0.757,0.159,0.9819,3,0,0,0,0,1,61.0,1,5,0,3,20,39,6,3,21,0,40,16,9,9,4,82,92,38,0,7,14,0,6,7,2,0,5,3,3,2,35,26,1,1,17,5,0,18,11,15,0,1,18,9,54,24,76,65,11,79,0,2,0,1,15,38,3,13,29,289,89,1,0.0,0.0,0.07326366445343369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045765831601066974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381000923953251,0.0,0.0,0.07654531810700436,0.1542481354085604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842044836712706,0.05994233743192667,0.0,0.0,0.04841801947131495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682914761745842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271663693278318,0.0844507619460391,0.06649534115402307,0.0,0.08372994921212516,0.09917441074956487,0.0,0.12651008563028665,0.2152159409473119,0.06747376101376226,0.0,0.0,0.1689634788087853,0.18980423151833192,0.10726908483619528,0.07208504666507444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160075667309164,0.06940685378203207,0.07844856352735599,0.07202005309296199,0.3840084566824774,0.12594092084148378,0.06004539639251101,0.08277191464713074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15984029049700052,0.0,0.0,0.07704997017289812,0.0,0.0846164759768119,0.0,0.0,0.15864452115369632,0.0,0.0,0.14787011660993638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12377995634542285,0.12239445226758985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567495050108101,0.0,0.06629377147176244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420780701867751,0.050114030696907536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563150018799142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21136213890728509,0.0,0.14407551956312412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050873661604608905,0.0,0.1597730086427399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052048471576487655,0.06555375218432591,0.0,0.0,0.07097139504551613,0.0,0.07190236745922082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547244402309497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545329548305015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17009368459506835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13669333535439468,0.0,0.0,0.15412953987912442,0.0,0.0,0.2253916361900942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425240628060578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0599560510608485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075854892510282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13824038863293542,0.0,0.0,0.049877375127776125,0.09621175672341667,0.0,0.0,0.04377760953860221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05097189733117676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09030757648045444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04428196233666957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17266813993579988,0.0,0.0,0.05465645960780411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,confused_asf_,2019/09/19,I need to go back on medication I decided to go off of it about a month ago also recently been kicked out of my father's house. My mom told me I can move in with her but she told me I have to go back on medication and stop drinking. I dont really want to be back on my medication.,1.0933333333333335,2.1038192857142874,4.495428571428572,85.27457142857145,78.36507936507937,8.84952380952381,22.123809523809523,9.3871,1.5069580952380957,217,6,54,6,5,81,43,63,0.078,0.922,0.0,-0.5359,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,0,0,8,12,3,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,1,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,3,0,12,0,14,8,0,17,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,7,39,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15615508676281906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14087497617216296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4063681752732031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064580436200276,0.1725695977652075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003471236509282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20326482643976215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5323875771279063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20631629862732434,0.14060911936429446,0.1872300522805435,0.0,0.13062030386786702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11285251696674528,0.0,0.1739366093882943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14727753064111718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3366565902521318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039036494066173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,living-in-a-box,2019/09/19,"SSRI made me (hypo)manic so doctors stopped my medication (content warning for symptoms) (reposting from r/bipolar)
I was put on sertraline about 4-5 weeks ago (I lose track of time - this is in the UK) and have been buzzing ever since. It kicked in about 3 hours after I took the first pill, I’ve barely slept in weeks, decided I want to move to Australia, decided I could book a better package holiday to Italy than our travel agent and proceeded to do so, bought a leopard gecko (I do already keep pet lizards so this isn’t completely out of character), went to a crocodile zoo halfway across the country twice in two weeks, sent stupid disconnected messages to my friends about wanting to eat cheese and dye my hair and being a reverse lizard (I was convinced I could taste burger through my nose, there were no burgers present, I was at work) and telling them to feel my arm because I was sure it was itching and burning and pulsing all over for weeks, spontaneously told my stepmom I wouldn’t be donating my kidney (which was a dumb decision I made on a whim a couple of months ago), and got into an argument with a friend which ended at 3am the next morning, among other things.

The GP’s response upon hearing this? “Stop taking antidepressants because they’re making you manic, let us figure out what to prescribe you.”

So now I’m unmedicated, awaiting new medication, still hyper, due to go on a holiday which I booked in a hyper state, probably going to crash at some point. Great.",10.085952380952378,7.710541785714287,9.44,68.94166666666668,59.71428571428571,12.333333333333336,42.97619047619048,10.686352973137794,4.5610833333333325,1180,55,211,21,12,378,187,280,0.085,0.826,0.08900000000000001,0.2782,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,2,2,1,4,11,9,2,0,16,0,19,13,6,3,3,32,38,12,0,5,0,0,2,0,2,1,6,1,1,0,11,12,2,3,5,5,2,8,3,3,0,3,17,5,26,6,42,15,2,50,0,1,0,0,12,19,1,1,22,136,37,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152357543055096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13397302537608566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14801426818781735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073725271913851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729044212595664,0.0,0.0,0.19386343256673155,0.13433191118839286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426278061241447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12422724264259985,0.0,0.0,0.10752846517250347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098174361301164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061385827470645124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10326671414157496,0.0,0.0,0.1875938281161449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379940951708827,0.0,0.09709837114461743,0.13384903042725338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13683183862486453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955910299877892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079100111377744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414445704552908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13582072408416573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297519879846627,0.08103853158621127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446047796061753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969040154118544,0.12903390586459587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172533457705837,0.129115198663795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476661444174055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13089472215319914,0.0,0.0,0.122045182832032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10042716243819616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695389235531783,0.2029994094777153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144224246647011,0.12618589298593688,0.09128117089622324,0.0,0.10611299557048873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065583996178179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07079201461202284,0.0,0.0,0.11600732426811268,0.13488500822067814,0.0,0.0,0.11859468029626255,0.0,0.1460348187386393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432151895832661,0.0,0.3895338767014608,0.0,0.0,0.1125433060039406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883840147504008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DezDemonah,2019/09/19,"I was raised by a overly cruel, bipolar mother, its honestly a miracle i have ANY sense of self worth or esteem after what shes done to me growing up(sometimes i doubt i have any at all,) and i always said id kill myself if i ended up like her...... I grew up basically getting made fun of all day at school, and then going home and getting made fun of all night by my mother. (i was extremely awkward/shy, literally COULD NOT look ANYONE in the eye, and my mother screamed, slapped, and shamed the will to stand up for myself out of me before i even knew what that meant,)

Out of my older sister, me, and my younger brother, for some reason, she ALWAYS chose me to be singled out and treated the worse. Ive been literally getting called every name you can think(almost daily) since b4 i even knew what the words meant. Like getting called ""slut/whore retarded cunt fatass bitch"" or ""ugh god look at you, your so disgusting, whos ever gonna want you?"" -said to an 11yr old me b4 i had even thought about someone ""wanting me.""

One time, when i asked her why it always seemed she saved her worst for me? why do you attack me for somethin but my brother does the same and you don do shit? She looked in my eyes and told me ""because youre easier. And more fun."" 
(I also look ALOT like my mom, more so than my siblings... Could this be part of why she singled me out?)

The only good thing she did for me as a child other than keep me from dying, was that bc of her, i have VERY thick skin. The ONLY thing someone can say to me that actually hurts is saying im ""just like her"" 

the thought of being as ""crazy"" and irrational as i saw her be, is like, more frightening to me than death... 
Ive always been heavily depressed and I was an addict bc of my self medication for longer than id like to admit... As of today, ive been clean for 2 years but Now that im not numb all the time, ive been noticing more and more that its more than ""just"" depression... Im losing contol of my emotions, like just suddenly exploding in a way that when it passes and i reflect, im shocked by it.

 I dont think i used to be this way...  Im little by little, starting to lose all control of my emotions... Like LITERALLY just explode with such intense rage, attack inanimate objects, then later be like wtf i literally couldnt control myself. Im coming to the realization that i need help.... And Its one of the most frightening feelings ive ever had...

Im losing the ability to calm myself naturally. Im constantly filled with an unwaivering sense of DREAD and self loathing. I feel like the thick skin i once prided myself for having is now peeling off.

The more these things happen the more TERRIFIED I become, bc im reminding my OWN self of her......
Do you think maybe sometimes bipolar doesnt really kick in till you're an adult? Or maybe ive always had it and it never really was ""just"" depression?",3.1517758454106293,4.5952333408695685,4.5178550724637665,85.43042512077297,73.85217391304349,7.337198067632851,24.951690821256037,7.946510646118237,1.3297053140096615,2221,70,455,32,45,737,258,575,0.166,0.7290000000000001,0.10400000000000001,-0.9940000000000001,0,0,1,0,0,1,111.0,0,8,0,6,19,43,9,3,24,0,45,10,5,6,8,79,83,35,3,7,13,7,6,10,0,2,5,5,2,6,25,24,0,3,14,0,1,6,6,24,0,2,26,18,82,19,69,46,22,53,0,7,7,0,46,20,3,9,34,307,107,1,0.0,0.0,0.05512888527105424,0.06158555952695206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056569442098472235,0.0,0.0,0.045177322275440655,0.2350329385770281,0.0,0.0,0.07683416837164428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03950112346056573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05281320109815885,0.1285375748855571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03443752504726594,0.062391928964437,0.048071265670948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537105917687265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04866359941036701,0.0,0.061048715641206376,0.12672309948603105,0.09020990876763683,0.0,0.0,0.036433223213703056,0.0,0.14597166083366658,0.0,0.058630672908910914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04943728526827524,0.0578118129372008,0.06620921491110099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709373469396812,0.050035908808106884,0.0,0.0,0.1119390100022685,0.10220205804912216,0.04759767374710159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0571289780897348,0.04035851274422867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11806075742027468,0.0,0.03210619602423715,0.047383533350382964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049956452340306684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03786597537169617,0.0,0.05666694791693931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06047677844831983,0.0,0.5491978781340981,0.0,0.0,0.05021345248543705,0.062500982995618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759955938543701,0.11324138022982448,0.0,0.0,0.18975910792310535,0.18960319075392612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690982616407227,0.0,0.0,0.1135093484441897,0.0,0.0,0.056910616304097286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06616375858244504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041888742230152536,0.043570778759639016,0.0,0.0,0.05301472516375176,0.0,0.0,0.06431749916360828,0.059279756785874424,0.0601630555600369,0.07656205227631024,0.08593073622994099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06117626563556487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07238154947221535,0.05808407222302121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074752992410298,0.08985078451786757,0.0,0.057173793549073385,0.0,0.05142898091631686,0.2357375077332508,0.0,0.057989112230915685,0.04673148020436427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573243929377928,0.0,0.11174577240932353,0.0,0.03998593932659812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259404419177807,0.10859503693341188,0.0,0.08969804610313364,0.0658828856486853,0.0,0.0535486287583637,0.05398135171779675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04879169545635965,0.0,0.046612528535477496,0.06664190876739548,0.0896828105332939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529280663539273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057571053901641286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03637955169721213
bipolarreddit,DarkDoomsy,2019/09/19,I'm 31. I never thought I'd make it this far. But I still want to die I want to end it at 40. It comforts me to know I'm not trapped. Is this normal for us? Healthy?,-4.08960714285714,-2.8980361749999983,-0.6764285714285698,110.09,110.75,2.2857142857142865,15.714285714285715,3.1291,-1.6473214285714284,123,4,37,0,7,43,28,40,0.09,0.645,0.266,0.6844,0,1,0,0,0,1,6.0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,9,8,1,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,5,1,5,7,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,20,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3608815741775373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079793671160294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19109946629499905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321078016866911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681854129722935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34069471005637536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27769203586346725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760532198618892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4182679533263822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41019206754692256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hauntedgirl93,2019/09/19,"Newly diagnosed – Bipolar II Hey guys. I just wanted to share with people who get it that after 10 years of shitty doctors I've finally been diagnosed and am receiving proper support.

NGL feeling pretty terrified at the new meds and learning to deal with new stuff – my doctor advised me to stop forcing myself to work to the point where I'm suicidal and incapable of replying to emails, so that's new...like letting time do it's thing? taking a break? wow 

does anyone have any advice for coping with new diagnosis and tools you found helped you? I've kept a mood journal since I was 10 years old but anything else is welcomed! 🖤",3.7280454545454553,6.084405350000001,4.6928787878787865,80.84727272727275,74.66666666666666,7.363636363636362,27.57575757575757,8.296473431620573,2.1911666666666667,502,20,87,9,11,163,92,120,0.09,0.8029999999999999,0.10800000000000001,0.2919,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,1,3,5,0,0,4,0,7,5,0,0,0,15,15,6,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,7,7,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,7,4,14,10,0,15,0,0,0,0,12,3,0,0,10,47,14,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14169972397721028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861012348113474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139266799242057,0.0,0.11932887872987714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14949644250236266,0.0,0.29435927235818216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29684279489723914,0.12689710601919746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211352218971426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332018688001883,0.0,0.0,0.15884871043300405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589933213137083,0.0,0.0,0.07576047293944597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14358029724950827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09719552085409416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14828006994040122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16107072614109702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5601968779075456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15216105700036528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052999430728816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370790289090657,0.0,0.0,0.14752483487865664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995176445767908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123282565961255,0.0,0.0,0.16599898054847595,0.15861475130307653,0.1645528776249231,0.0,0.0,0.10902764993985813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633658944795814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455508306780814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552922471659924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556724158853506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18676024800311855
bipolarreddit,ajjuerg,2019/09/19,Bipolar Resources-These are great help Check out the Polar Warriors YouTube channel and look up Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) on Support Groups Central. DBSA hosts virtual support groups where you can share your struggles and victories with those that share similar experiences with the disorder. The channel is good for more insight into the disorder as well as a great resource to refer your friends and family to for them to understand the disorder more too.,11.994999999999996,12.10036087341772,9.8871835443038,59.35330696202536,54.18987341772152,12.963291139240505,51.39556962025317,12.161744961471696,6.9113772151898765,395,25,50,10,4,119,55,79,0.134,0.5710000000000001,0.295,0.9451,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,3,1,0,3,12,0,1,6,0,3,2,0,0,0,11,8,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,4,10,13,8,2,5,0,1,1,0,10,5,0,0,0,37,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14295393627365635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5706648368244182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623552981387537,0.1564663622624995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12823179432525775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13921186965276452,0.0,0.3659758215447508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124947539769646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13937711230964334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17351300019916946,0.0,0.0,0.5650390414112253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17278572203368697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14923136591019434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,odinsun95,2019/09/19,"I am very lonely but feel unable to reach out to others. After losing everything to my illness and drug abuse I am very, very lonely. However, I feel like people instantly dislike me and I lost all my old friends months ago. Furthermore I dislike people whom others love. Fun loving, outgoing people often seem like frauds to me. Maybe because I am not naturally easygoing or fun. It has been said I'm too serious. Depression and mood swings don't help. I am trying to rebuild my life from the wreckage my condition caused my life. Staying clean is so hard alone and the medications can't fix the isolation.",3.4938200589970485,6.2937125929203575,4.686039823008848,78.238145280236,77.93805309734512,8.014454277286136,27.11578171091445,8.841846274778883,2.7059268436578168,485,20,81,12,12,159,77,113,0.295,0.46,0.245,-0.738,1,6,1,0,1,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,3,14,0,0,3,0,9,7,0,1,1,14,17,7,0,0,3,0,3,2,1,0,5,1,1,0,4,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,3,4,14,7,8,14,1,6,0,5,0,2,6,1,0,3,6,49,18,0,0.0,0.19435848702986835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454099995367099,0.0,0.0,0.16989414211463308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999618668405426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16851245573807175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14128589309937098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902322761441992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14742699010521493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658853227776863,0.1171889492384725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267355349369108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14694603989502675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099513724358814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23173011585992426,0.16028159334422967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835168277675749,0.17906711319865662,0.0,0.2961018266175909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647984572327984,0.0,0.0,0.1652512660081797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13093375570066595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17213053545542895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34117037743901585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15603792769776653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493342500548533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17484293458440042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137119512212618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40604617482110256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,anmmtc3,2019/09/19,"Identifying mania before it’s too late I am totally unable to recognize that I’m manic until I’m deep in the middle of it. I think I would be able to control the damage of mania better if I realized it was coming on and if I knew my warning signs. 

How did you learn your warning signs? I need help.",0.6390476190476164,2.8444979841269853,3.8406349206349217,83.55714285714289,85.03174603174601,6.139682539682537,20.11111111111111,7.447530270364453,0.9118634920634924,235,7,46,4,7,85,46,63,0.128,0.7829999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.34,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,2,2,2,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,2,1,15,11,5,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,9,1,7,6,1,7,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,2,2,33,13,1,0.360538559895951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067917595517628,0.0,0.0,0.3188670573726725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105720450845413,0.0,0.0,0.4043746521393168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24166139687158544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4067031995169302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673347737953433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23101855127233706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561162485934493,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,saltnvendetta,2019/09/19,"How do I talk with my Professors about the drawbacks of my bipolar/medication affecting my schoolwork, without “making excuses” or “asking for special treatment” ? This is my first semester on a good medication regime, which has helped tremendously with stability! But my lamictal/celexa dosage reeeally kills my memory. I find myself having such a hard time concentrating/remembering/making connections in my classes and with homework. Specifically critical responses to assigned readings. I just feel dumb, or slower than I was. I want to talk with my professors bc I want to get ahead of talking behind, but I don’t even know what I want to say or ask for, I just know that I’m struggling but want to do my best. Any advice?",6.459375000000001,8.7145099375,6.825437500000002,68.92581250000002,66.8125,10.4325,35.45625,10.577609850970193,4.474378750000001,584,29,90,17,10,189,86,128,0.087,0.789,0.12300000000000001,0.5426,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,3,6,6,2,1,3,0,7,1,0,3,0,25,19,8,1,4,9,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,4,5,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,3,19,3,20,18,1,5,0,0,0,0,8,2,1,3,3,67,23,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755206008038258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214637850340415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3358371093500551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18849797725818046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186359747215402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09082024220667824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641675699088813,0.15278295294969454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09384297551385633,0.0,0.0,0.15065503075271178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16090241995024404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039413865403956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19872067044159009,0.0,0.1974266770502708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989638928061686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19951507194707546,0.1809462073258465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796665764981045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14283941854438778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18777570078042585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4331103598062882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473668236266996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4237733281952573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17314531274681325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kindahappybutno95,2019/04/02,"Thought loops Hey, I'm just curious if someone can relate to this. So from time to time I experience something like thought loops on different topics. I'm not sure even how to call it, but, for example, today I spent whole day thinking about that our world seems kinda hollow and that there's something beyond love, family and money. The reason I post it is that it feels somewhat damaging to me. I feel like I have to find the answer and I spend some time doing researches. I just don't know how to be over it and calm about it. So why it feels damaging..I have 2 outcomes: first is logical but I can't accept it, the second is irrational, I can't prove it, but it feels like it's the truth. 
I'm not sure, maybe it's something obvious and I just don't know about. Just curious if it is related to bipolar, because my friends say I just need to calm down, but I can't. If you experience it, how do you stop it or what do you do about it? Btw, I have bp2",1.7206060606060625,3.54403641414142,3.5393939393939418,89.27909090909094,78.79797979797979,7.228282828282829,23.626262626262626,8.167268648758528,1.2780383838383842,742,25,163,14,18,249,99,198,0.081,0.764,0.155,0.9436,1,0,3,0,0,0,26.0,1,3,0,1,17,12,0,0,4,0,18,2,0,4,5,48,34,18,0,4,15,0,4,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,20,5,0,1,16,0,3,0,7,1,0,2,3,5,19,11,18,30,3,13,0,1,0,1,9,5,0,8,10,111,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109290668888048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15258769487313284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637185593406904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15612557161773635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09869901876888657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29234809330228234,0.14087203558424338,0.0,0.3022310496016594,0.21350978216153144,0.0,0.0,0.13657896014856302,0.1271075453810883,0.0,0.0,0.11545148511162505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642488237602487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21901609517244594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13486902329438755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501254296287343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11080259925905432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431154077296325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536419055626047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188350370529694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13603809661943764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266140082325616,0.3451222329500348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493259259294415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28167747287365824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09575056620816584,0.0,0.23726605592687194,0.26140657087956193,0.0,0.141644913103022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13483994624438714,0.16683649232813344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thesquareunicorn,2019/04/02,"A neurobiological condition I've been trying to understand the science behind how bipolar disorder affects you physically (energy, appetite, aches, etc), but there are not a lot of resources and the ones I find are iffy. So taking the information that bipolar mainly affects serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine, I've done research on those chemicals and how they affect the mind *and* the body. I mean come on, your body is controlled by your brain right? I learned a ton. Including that deficiencies and fluctuations in these chemicals play a role in other illness that people don't consider mental, such as Parkinson's disease. It's been enlightening and encouraging to me because it helps me to reassure myself that it's not ""all in my head"" and that I could ""get over it if I really wanted to"". It's nice to know why I'm so exhausted and achey and why mania gives me a crazy heartbeat and panic attacks and endless energy.


And it makes me feel better about my treatment plan. The actual benefit of the combination of medication and behavioral therapy make sense. Much like medicine helps you get better but knowing to stay inside and take care of yourself helps you get better faster. It gives me permission to know I need these things and that it's not a crutch to get over something that's nothing more than an excuse for bad behavior. I was really feeling horrible about myself but after educating myself a little better, I'm not beating myself up so badly. It's like I can see it in a different perspective.


I'm hoping to share some of it with those particular friend/family members that give me crap about having a disorder.


Just thought I would share my excitement, however short lived it may be. I'll probably go back to feeling like a broken piece of trash but I'll take what I can get. Maybe not 100% of my research is rock solid, I'm not an expert. If anything here is blatantly false I'm sorry. Hope you guys are feeling ok today. Hugs to those who aren't feeling so great.",6.0045884304374875,7.467693221024259,6.768530997304584,71.95065260211489,66.9245283018868,10.02036077130417,32.59807173958117,10.214889679676881,3.5945350611652502,1599,68,270,40,26,528,204,371,0.113,0.635,0.252,0.996,2,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,0,6,1,7,14,27,2,1,19,1,19,11,5,8,2,65,56,28,0,8,13,0,5,3,0,2,5,0,0,1,29,17,0,1,15,2,0,2,8,6,0,1,5,6,31,21,37,47,9,19,0,0,1,1,22,12,1,7,7,183,60,3,0.0,0.0,0.09160839535069094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725107319031745,0.0,0.0,0.1067962912694496,0.0,0.07218403078639964,0.15676329983919832,0.057225289318260326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3320990068640163,0.0,0.20854778133146165,0.0,0.1047954742373021,0.0,0.0,0.09571175310030802,0.0,0.0,0.08086494461213511,0.0,0.0,0.10528872242476303,0.07495149726231172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807932725561312,0.21517761787568634,0.0,0.0,0.09606665161923747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10469536771523233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849693446157905,0.0,0.237329939880594,0.06706427262334698,0.0,0.0,0.08579999028884562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252754224102544,0.0,0.2452288960674218,0.2701601761038558,0.05335128914967182,0.0,0.0,0.10349744771158004,0.0,0.09295094506517128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09634276666360476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18876717124613468,0.0,0.0,0.1864779849535053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547736284006105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13758765492471398,0.09408734712434444,0.0828932878471238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980911309724333,0.0,0.0,0.12532449669145113,0.0,0.09430999028139624,0.10225732505607478,0.0,0.0945691212946509,0.09460385528601348,0.0,0.09478692404137493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900887892447084,0.06960707513122576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09007553235945392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361208574510299,0.0,0.0,0.11014201023422217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06508106026567463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012130578647369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12027737487425345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016868192737699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07480616950333302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226951160307556,0.0,0.105085304551975,0.0,0.1000581907034009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21174680567488205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10735416993803727,0.0,0.06236633580707944,0.0,0.0,0.07452621279388362,0.0,0.0,0.08898246227298967,0.0,0.0,0.06373491903967167,0.0,0.0,0.09772711845283713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055369869128241635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16941505581434324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06668606072107802,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,robbyes,2019/04/02,"My experience with tramadol This past week I was prescribed 8 tablets of tramadol for an unrelated post-treatment painkiller, and I felt completely different. 
It’s hard to explain, but basically even during arguments and other stressful situations that unsettle me, I was able to stay calm and focused. I felt enough of the “anger” emotion that I knew I was angry, but my brain was calm enough to accept the anger and be passive while yet acknowledging it. I was also productive and in great spirits, which seems to be the norm on this opioid.

I’ve never been diagnosed and I’ve always lied on depression quizzes at the hospital, but the truth is a couple weeks ago it hit me that my mood swings and depression might not be normal.

I realized that sometimes I am completely happy and good, to the point of being TOO happy. I will often hyper-organize my house, deep clean or workout every single day... basically checked off every symptom of a mania. During these times I paint,write, exercise, I eat and cook , hell I even tackle projects outside and have a hard time falling asleep for being too excited with my projects.  I’ve also had bad instances with alcohol during these times, from a feeling of cockiness and recklessness where I have acted out in ways I am ashamed of.

As for the depression, it comes on as low and long as it can be. I sleep on the couch during the day, lose weight, and am constantly weepy or angry. I do not like to work on anything, much less have the energy to deep clean or create. 
These “mood swings” as Ive always called them come in bouts of weeks, sometimes months and occasionally like I mentioned as a result of an argument or something else incredibly stupid. 

This is having a toll on my marriage and family, and I am curious as to medications having any similar effect on me as tramadol , which I read up on and completely agreed with the following: 

“In fact, one of the reason people like taking Tramadol is because for some people it works as an antidepressant, producing euphoria or energy, unlike other opioids which tend to make people drowsy. This has led it being used recreationally, while people still go to work or live their daily lives.” blog.iodine.com

I am obviously not going to get this prescription refilled and don’t need the cautions because like I said, I read up and completely understand the danger of taking opioids as anything other than a TEMPORARY strong painkiller.

TL;DR I’m (24f) hesitant to take the first step in getting diagnosed or treated for what I suspect is Bipolar 1 Disorder. Had a good experience with an unrelated painkiller and would like to hear from people who self-diagnosed and are now on treatments, or anyone who can relate to my experience. ",8.870321678321677,8.587731967676769,8.617222222222225,67.19096153846154,60.63636363636363,11.8982128982129,38.23038073038072,11.285456440507946,4.524089355089355,2184,95,355,53,26,704,251,495,0.188,0.6779999999999999,0.134,-0.9874,1,0,5,0,1,0,56.0,0,0,2,8,11,32,5,2,27,0,39,13,3,7,4,72,64,45,0,3,14,0,6,5,0,3,7,2,3,0,28,29,4,0,13,5,1,9,5,13,0,2,12,8,37,17,65,41,6,55,2,5,0,0,10,24,1,13,25,252,65,8,0.07531286670309555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06676031221394375,0.08048655040029297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045534458535245,0.1253326765698742,0.0,0.0,0.05121533194634832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052660507510176285,0.0,0.12395214444905135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06288309787654099,0.09182004902690223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407406670110193,0.07690285738715646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297507320155162,0.3158564314037771,0.08138645351998104,0.0,0.0,0.08333225453335663,0.0,0.09714113709097333,0.0,0.1946005852030547,0.2293229231407566,0.0,0.07868591617816707,0.08631507004252484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706386451505111,0.06291423619445738,0.08471683820625449,0.0,0.1556366474051486,0.0,0.09948687632966434,0.0,0.1269086768293281,0.0,0.0,0.22101130512514708,0.07099826805418909,0.0,0.03808044830353401,0.0,0.14462432533924194,0.0,0.0,0.0640610859440573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07869572885685255,0.0,0.08560407546612693,0.1263377187915958,0.0,0.08303270141793867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16034389408502212,0.13493107122275955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488307434681716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690093647633049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839703123564712,0.0,0.1330052821890287,0.06664951707453583,0.0,0.0842558335555377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050271923338310494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586978988793941,0.0,0.07989504997834818,0.0,0.0,0.0601140116757508,0.0,0.055363622636282216,0.05584353637447643,0.058085925692386325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737906189333579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05103394759032763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07189465309660133,0.26106229498826616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071195002304241,0.0,0.07212890790235392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506664948688259,0.0,0.0,0.07743417031101889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07163978270758323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685620052930421,0.07856774509723845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465481765969733,0.07536725675473023,0.0,0.0,0.057979524241804276,0.14897270182875333,0.0,0.0,0.08027349520972857,0.060144952634688026,0.0,0.08627063435278064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827890528614463,0.16987770887646314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317466146738168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840335028882105,0.0,0.06504613590494225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059779848063523926,0.18123431660140096,0.09171078223995116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16448599179530066,0.0,0.0,0.05350009967417066,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,desperatedark,2019/04/02,"Blacked out during first few days of manic episode and I’m horrified I talked last night with my roommate about the first few days of my manic episode which flipped into gear around January 13-14. He stayed with me for about 4 days until my dad came.

In past manic episodes, I swear I remember everything, even if the events aren’t linear in my mind. Then again, I’ve never had anyone with me 24/7 monitoring me.

So last night he told me about things I did and said that I have zero memory of. It freaks me out because 1) I’m the person who prides herself in never being black-out anything (drunk, high, etc) unless it’s anesthesia for medical reasons and 2) I am a control freak so the idea of blacking out-even in the worst of mental states- terrifies me.

There were a few things he said where I remembered it vaguely or in small pieces but I don’t remember him even being there when he said he was right beside me.

So I’m kind of freaking out over this. Before my episode got bad on the 13/14th I had some weird/stressful stuff happen at work pushing me toward a manic episode which I think on the 12th (maybe the 13th) led to me not taking my medication. I was on a very low dose of seroquel (50 mg) and 200 mg of Lamictal. I’m no doctor but given that Lamictal is an epilepsy medication, maybe cold turkey cessation of it led to some kind of partial seizure issue?",4.446681501547988,5.500521775735294,5.046834365325079,84.3772678018576,70.21323529411765,8.079256965944273,28.654024767801857,8.371475516178862,1.9197397058823524,1081,39,216,16,19,347,159,272,0.1,0.9,0.0,-0.9724,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,5,15,9,0,0,13,0,13,6,0,4,2,33,27,15,0,1,6,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,13,13,1,1,6,1,0,4,6,6,0,3,13,6,28,3,38,12,8,44,0,1,2,0,15,21,0,4,17,139,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566001575638298,0.0,0.08904415894814921,0.0963261086734024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903473285978086,0.06596125526121069,0.0,0.09207517152579506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12375861618416495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12136201282202065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093513804859093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075322793938493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067807706700635,0.21440674387351336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09724840165602797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18407960732097975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08654206817941137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568603725850754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11432537538952466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12215118458764244,0.0,0.1129387491472206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253593924483115,0.0,0.17640434853128162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21741455278753635,0.0,0.0,0.32701789840777845,0.1090460025900499,0.0,0.1092570184721294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669099771687836,0.0,0.0,0.20308763851813366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10329468596627916,0.0,0.09448113646993493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11125359064726036,0.0,0.0,0.3677282556240143,0.09240716745278447,0.3087855023458805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153329923987978,0.0,0.0,0.12394938566027287,0.0,0.12386976033395294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813573000460715,0.08697172843408417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437742594187101,0.06933391159240768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339528508845253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928112252199143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877511579578436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wheelchairassassins,2019/04/02,"I feel so empty and don't know who I am I don't think I know what I'm looking for here. Maybe just a place where I can spew how I'm feeling out without being afraid of creating some kind of judgment or conflict. 

I have been having a growing identity crisis lately. Once I was diagnosed, my life was based around understanding my illness. Then it was about treating it. Then it became about  maintaining it. Now that I've been maintaining it for nearly two years, I feel like I've completely lost myself in the process. 

I am on disability so don't work, live in a rural town so don't have a big social circle, and I used to get into a lot of different artsy projects, but since getting on my current med cocktail that actually seems to work, I've lost all drive and desire to be creative. I even pulled my art bag out in the hopes that I would want to pick things up and get messy...but nothing. I ended up putting it behind the end table in my living room so it is out of the way. 

I spend my days exercising, taking care of my dog, cat and husband, my house, cooking and watching tv/movies. And while I am a genuine cinephile - it's not enough; I feel so empty. Nothing about my life feels worth while anymore. I can't tell my husband before I sort this feeling out because he'll take it personally and I cannot handle that kind of conflict right now. 


I literally cried myself to sleep last night (though that was provoked because right now my husband is sick with an infection for over a week and he can get a little brash when he doesn't feel well...I try not to take it personally, because it's not personal, it just can hit the right/wrong buttons). When I was showering today I was listening to music, and the song ""Try"" came on, and when Colbie Caillat sang ""You don't have to try so hard"" I just lost it. There was no trigger this time except the song. 

I've always really been interested in and invested in politics, but the way that politics have been for the last two years, I just feel like it is adding this constant weight to my heart. I am so so sad to see what has happened to our country. Everything feels like it's getting worse and I can't see the good happening in the world, anymore. So that hobby has become a very heavy emotional weight. 


I just....I just feel empty and I don't know what to do. I don't know who I am other than a woman on disability with bipolar. I know others feel this way and that I'm not alone and I wish it made it better. I guess what I need is how to dig myself from out of this pit that is quickly burying me alive.   ",3.9228865429729134,4.771325220729366,4.979694497760718,85.13724914693965,71.26487523992324,7.861825549157603,27.524045638728946,8.07648339933343,1.610552100661122,2004,68,419,27,36,659,238,521,0.10800000000000001,0.797,0.095,-0.8446,3,1,0,0,0,0,62.0,1,1,0,6,32,16,0,1,22,0,46,13,2,7,1,79,96,38,0,6,14,3,14,3,0,2,8,4,2,4,40,26,4,2,19,7,3,5,17,5,0,2,16,22,52,11,56,75,4,64,0,4,4,0,17,31,0,7,28,278,92,3,0.0,0.0,0.07084818939668744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075192832187949,0.0,0.0,0.060409921459116986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14400154229759154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.064630360956064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277084879764015,0.08018219810473902,0.06177817886301465,0.0,0.0,0.06420976278069956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303630392176456,0.07402164818170745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07612085984145316,0.07845598449718108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974888646798786,0.046821695847558034,0.0,0.0,0.07368857643433385,0.0,0.07585268497177051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166645255439615,0.12860603026680234,0.07501633175976741,0.0,0.047952334137995344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06524917686376809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40380220857218063,0.15559869607084426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18965536081725765,0.0,0.0,0.060894348372663734,0.0,0.0,0.07997828393658628,0.0,0.128401805318236,0.0,0.06503631485454685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603263925534715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210926217909637,0.0,0.08377190834717539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120572272006835,0.1994982973733217,0.11835915388684352,0.08189718993960794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10256059154171678,0.10640767363554404,0.07276536351694922,0.12821618225327558,0.0,0.06096662916265026,0.0,0.23775799257473065,0.0617228490756715,0.0,0.06869690521763634,0.0,0.0,0.07293755149708248,0.0,0.08064344241304798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05383278708646586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813120328386045,0.0,0.13932540466798835,0.0,0.0,0.0773177896495387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19017740997806304,0.07585268497177051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298414634689378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04651011625411694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860027982958472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570733544068935,0.06609330412764508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060056370522056014,0.0,0.07265351998772727,0.0740076667021679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16376094936679256,0.0,0.06345655124039194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048232937104972964,0.04651984591120988,0.07133020068800378,0.0,0.04233427845936469,0.0,0.0688173427333461,0.0,0.0,0.14787411998712002,0.0,0.14184142793440552,0.07558029338723585,0.0,0.06270403008661375,0.0,0.05990350128980315,0.04282200293816054,0.17288209388915882,0.05823621384421944,0.17681713352641573,0.06527709746683492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08348766862952035,0.0699848583935089,0.0,0.10570891398716044,0.0,0.0739867115131382,0.05157373013684493,0.0793778930009259,0.0,0.09350544115442
bipolarreddit,showmethememez,2019/04/02,"How can I rebuild my life after mental health? I was actually diagnosed with bipolar a few years ago after suffering with it for years. Mainly just cringe worthy manic episodes where I’ve done a lot I regret. Also some very cringe worthy stuff. I’ve broken some relationships, got kicked out my mums, quit a lot of jobs, lost a lot of reputation through embarrassing myself on social media and I don’t think my family and friends will ever look at me the same.

Since I was diagnosed I have been completely stable because I’ve stayed on meds. Like I managed to get a girlfriend, I’m functioning quite well. Just need to succeed in work but I have got a job lined up. Just hope I can sort out my attitude towards it. 

I was depressed only once in life. My coping mechanism was to not even talk for about 10 months. I had some major life changing delusions which actually helped me in a weird sort of way. That’s a long story though. 

Things are going well for a couple of years. I feel like I’ve woken up and I’m now an adult and I’m trying to grasp what my goals should be. I’ve noticed I’m a lot more introverted since all this. I rarely want to hang out. I don’t want to do much at all. I find myself with very little hobbies. I can spend some days only listening to music and on reddit and also watching TV. 

I miss being sociable but now I’m happy with minimal socialising. I guess I should be happy with that. 

Anyone else overcome mental health and how did you rebuild your life?",2.0403357025697098,4.449974616949157,3.6012903225806454,86.19240021869877,80.79661016949153,6.247129579004921,21.380535811919078,7.4822170145007005,0.9082662657189721,1172,35,228,18,31,387,166,295,0.071,0.7979999999999999,0.131,0.9649,2,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,2,0,6,16,16,0,1,12,0,23,9,0,2,3,49,44,14,0,7,6,1,1,2,2,3,9,1,0,1,9,15,0,0,4,1,1,2,3,7,2,0,12,4,31,9,37,26,16,32,0,5,2,0,11,16,0,12,14,152,40,6,0.0,0.0,0.18984873868970267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622660282017887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555782891165033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680155097363464,0.09966763449375733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05929668867485025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290188526644764,0.0,0.10198883946038577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763067120972836,0.0,0.06273300683946198,0.0,0.08378105100879336,0.19745999736941935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09954400232771766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08125906959047058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06424786738270008,0.08798895405157614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170028205995284,0.0,0.049184127248544686,0.06949181633377857,0.0,0.0,0.08890571586571963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515284140723112,0.0,0.05082110261886283,0.0,0.05528246026884708,0.0,0.1555961315105522,0.0,0.10715712326049748,0.0,0.0,0.20709773234137616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067931985424329,0.0,0.0,0.06520000928938056,0.0,0.0,0.09661398963843247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193056790763786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748270507584079,0.09504530178606604,0.09749305240986456,0.0,0.08608350150499151,0.08168478084799981,0.0,0.10618491779885147,0.3307919410541492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804832103746508,0.0,0.19605651351579276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07764234223593001,0.0,0.07150681207790842,0.07212666135540441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074590055513316,0.0,0.10359251921776694,0.0,0.1479609265426007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2069235159996835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443474704530156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609303821450498,0.0,0.0,0.09915752467649804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368002423738078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113542576723836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818431417120449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.064623827021238,0.06232857992201176,0.095570181443014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06604194923320815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16052074526971385,0.11474821467147656,0.07721074160206683,0.0,0.0,0.17492013169193046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081586755997961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187921775577029
bipolarreddit,universemessages,2019/04/02,"What's it like to have a job? So depressed.

So tired.

What's it like on the other side of success? What's it like to work full time? I've never been able to. I even dropped out of highschool because my sleep pattern was fucked so often.

Is it fun? Is it fulfilling? Do you like it?",-1.4740000000000002,0.43544626666666986,0.5166666666666693,102.045,103.0,3.066666666666667,17.666666666666664,4.935628992294339,-0.8156333333333334,216,7,51,1,10,70,41,60,0.154,0.605,0.24100000000000002,0.6716,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,2,5,8,1,0,2,0,6,3,1,0,1,3,7,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,10,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,3,6,7,5,1,7,0,1,0,1,1,4,1,1,6,35,13,4,0.2887315425055619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760080684021029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24868405447756675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19070446073289216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669276584883001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28652150392889314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5642385890986744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22268756531527453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889400609724972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683616843525512,0.3318544339844018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102000017201235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ManyAsparagus,2019/04/02,"Mentioning disability on job application? I've been out from work for 7 months on disability related to my bipolar diagnosis. My current workplace is terrible and I'm not looking forward to my impending return. I was looking at applying to different jobs,  and there's a section,  like the section asking if you're a vet,  asking if you have a disability.  I would have never considered my bipolar as a disability,  but this time it gave me pause because I am actually on disability leave lol. Does anyone report their mental health as a disability? Even without having to divulge details? Do you think this might later help if I need a reasonable accommodation at that job?

",7.343500000000002,8.784037683333334,8.845000000000002,58.36500000000001,63.83333333333334,12.0,40.83333333333333,11.698219412168324,5.706083333333334,542,31,80,18,8,189,83,120,0.03,0.883,0.08800000000000001,0.8229,5,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,1,1,2,2,0,0,7,1,10,3,0,1,1,15,18,8,0,5,6,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,3,2,12,1,15,13,2,15,0,0,2,0,8,9,0,4,8,60,16,5,0.0,0.0,0.1784067910002574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783259887906215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34182565760389105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144590178933997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910088914029432,0.0,0.0,0.15998777006122872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207514564222842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19433002930261573,0.0,0.0,0.12254097141532687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5442644932806712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19358089768692585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931703949330899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3070469622338633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842404309476108,0.19394404572214152,0.0,0.0,0.14592586940170538,0.0,0.0,0.13555935411308506,0.14100272083627274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18797029692485628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11714422764392406,0.0,0.0,0.10660431598269902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1762327888816469,0.0,0.1330957663503345,0.0,0.0,0.12987069637178295,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,berfica,2019/04/02,"Ultra Ultra Rapid Cycling?? (Self-harm and Suicide Trigger Warning) I don't know what's going on. One minute I'm meh, the next I'm SUPER productive, and the next I am attempting to take my life... over and over.

Like for instance, (**trigger warning ahead, suicide and self harm**)

The day before yesterday, I was ok, then later I put a plastic bag over my head(until my reflexes kicked in), then after that I spent 5 hours sorting my Magic the Gathering cards to sell(organizing, writing prices.. more productive than I've been in months) then after that I got super depressed, cried, and made a real attempt to slit my wrists(but the blade was too dull). Oh and twice during the day I took a hammer to my hand.. WTF 

And this has been my pattern! Except now my family is freaking out because I can't hide the attempt. There was a huge discussion on hospital or not, taking my rights away or not, long term facility... I feel really bad. We settled on no hospital, and I'd sleep in my moms room, because... I just always end up manipulating them to let me leave inpatient and I've been over 6 times in 6 months. 

Last night I was crying hard and wanting to end it, then I started laughing! Like hard and uncontrollably... then I just spent 2 hours listing on eBay... WTF is going on!!! I just started Geodon last week. I've seen my pdoc and therapist within the last week because I've been so messed up... I've never cycled(?) this fast if that is even what is happening.  I almost went into the hospital last night, but changed my mind because I want my Switch and laptop and stuffed animals damn it... 

<3 <3 <3 ",3.1852597402597413,5.372474928571432,4.331168831168832,83.60246753246757,75.68831168831169,7.127272727272729,26.584415584415584,8.07648339933343,1.7992324675324678,1250,48,236,21,28,408,171,308,0.128,0.816,0.055999999999999994,-0.9553,0,0,0,0,0,2,80.0,1,0,1,6,8,14,1,1,13,1,17,3,2,4,1,41,37,24,2,3,10,1,4,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,9,17,0,0,2,0,3,5,6,8,0,2,15,5,32,6,31,21,2,63,0,2,1,0,7,22,1,5,38,140,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570403794337564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783516236219062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09917798246813607,0.0,0.08813897960192657,0.25739588860965323,0.0,0.08982458907094662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11166948268816113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319074821462947,0.13615615307914622,0.0,0.09091948705310024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869913298411777,0.0,0.0,0.06972200845364916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09951346404857664,0.0,0.053374785428780915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998543513495513,0.0,0.08442673071087008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334719484247532,0.0,0.1891237444681548,0.0,0.10833598367050117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20791253393689169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05801353459009258,0.3441850360867648,0.0,0.11177379871752872,0.0,0.10794321800331326,0.07456081710125669,0.10314349105371404,0.0,0.0,0.0934181143149798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988431830116977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065864621780959,0.12363170270445348,0.16851547801545502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141510823483426,0.0,0.22453052465799245,0.1981235915500814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153082811697352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611790562554722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12015146538367595,0.06762504426411872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901484700610211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22024617476990568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10563717962496362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14943316005919716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309330806942696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587373864953976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225643929906724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061553435795823314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728209373378318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12452516043388726,0.0,0.16934924511789076,0.0,0.0,0.09785605337451078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,OneFaraday,2019/04/02,"Advice for Terminal Insomnia? I'm recently out of a long and dreary depression, and finally feeling active and happy again. I'm probably in the early stages of hypomania, but doing good so far and keeping an eye on it. 

My main problem now is the insomnia. I have no trouble falling asleep at all, but most nights I wake up after 4 or 5 hours and can't get back to sleep at all.

I know that the lack of sleep will probably trigger hypomania or mania for me. I'm going to talk to my doc and see if a low dose antipsychotic would help, but I thought I'd see if anyone here has any tips. ",5.117928571428571,4.9147026500000015,6.927380952380954,75.93000000000002,68.33333333333334,10.523809523809526,32.14285714285714,10.290406445055957,3.176285714285714,458,18,93,11,7,161,86,120,0.16699999999999998,0.733,0.1,-0.8225,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,6,0,7,8,5,1,2,25,18,14,0,5,7,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,3,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,1,4,7,2,15,15,5,21,0,2,3,0,2,8,0,5,10,61,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19102000464256128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329325542525361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136683596601422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503114329186142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683659421699456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988401532840473,0.0,0.0,0.2141379005738744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212981004072468,0.0,0.11109532998887924,0.1639586723268608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080912354707473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13102558229239222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19250762845142952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737508881319765,0.0,0.0,0.10743025204448296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17299293410218305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18344398015543734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4215192638034181,0.1870471873010625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193012119932246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3115432154924016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3912407307213533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15711877041222927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15518864370700713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13886280986918145,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,i_miss_the_aol_era,2019/04/02,"Me thinks it's time for a dose once I usually try to hold out on any med changes,  give myself time to just... get over it I guess. 

My next psych appointment in two weeks. 

I want to call him today and ask if I can up my lamictal to 250 - just a 25 mg increase.

Has anyone done that? Just call in a request? Im not going to lose my shit in the next two weeks but i'm definitely not feeling good...",0.3204651162790704,1.8896286627906989,2.5978488372093054,95.58421511627908,82.13953488372094,6.16046511627907,20.05232558139535,7.1686216300943375,0.1771674418604654,299,8,75,4,8,102,62,86,0.047,0.852,0.10099999999999999,0.5399,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,1,0,4,0,3,2,1,0,0,14,12,3,0,2,7,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,2,2,0,2,1,1,10,1,13,11,1,17,0,1,0,0,6,7,1,2,8,43,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784942231964217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211748543509332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16201139082195332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35391578940854296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18332761171581624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773452853669386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08762530015319878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09054169749908776,0.16624441717756408,0.09848994879559128,0.14535517598878464,0.0,0.0,0.19090864501478452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18719291183698794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19387751546708507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924963823005968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3686114044048749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845580291424492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17788917410250515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104315211673338,0.0,0.0,0.20210435484622272,0.0,0.1642674112032454,0.0,0.0,0.11765880474037305,0.0,0.33857634199040776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19086462355483025,0.0,0.102216378688811,0.0,0.2780203857488696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Joyful_Desecration,2019/04/02,"This isn't what I thought being 18 would be like. When I was about 10 I couldn't sleep at night because all I did was read informational books about animals and try to learn as much as I could, I wanted to be the next steve Irwin,by 13 I was sent a letter from Washingtons goveners because of my WASL test scores, they congratulated me on being the top 5% in washington state. I had my mind set on my future at such a young age and I was able to stay strong despite the abuse i was going through.

 I knew at 18 I would get a scholarship to WSU and get a degree in zoology,hell I was even part of a program for kids with mental disorders. If i kept a 3.0 gpa all through highschool and graduated id have a 2 year scholarship. 

Then I started cutting and at the age of 14 my druggie of a mom forced me to move in with her and my 'step-dad'. Later that year he held my mom hostage because some guy witnessed him beating her. He was arrested after a 2 hour standoff, and my mom never let me forget it was my fault. A few weeks later I was admitted into an inpatient unit for a psychotic episode. 

Thats when I started cutting every day, and eventually I would end up in the er atleast 45 times in 3 years to talk to crisis, and inpatient 6 times in 3 years for mixed manic episodes/psychosis. 

I am just a shell of what I used to be, I dropped out of highschool last year. I have nothing going for me, no except my dad and sisters thinks im alive or sane. I constantly ride a roller-coaster of emotions and energy. 

I dont like being this person, I dont like being afraid that one day im gonna snap again and end up in long term because im not stable. I just want to live my own life without having the lable of bipolar, I want to be known for my intelligence not my instability. 

No one will hire me because of my arms, I cant just go and get a job, the only friend i have is my girlfriend but were toxic for eachother and she recently moved 4 hours away. 


I am nothing, I won't ever be something, I won't ever be noticed, I won't ever be congratulated for my performance again. 

Im just a burned out star, a black dwarf, floating in the endless universe serving no purpose,lighting no fires. Creating nothing. 

I used to be so intelligent, so happy. I am nothing. 
",4.135615164520743,4.514215766094424,5.6104892703862665,82.50471816881259,70.52360515021459,8.359256080114449,30.554792560801147,8.344100000000001,2.098160457796853,1761,70,372,25,30,598,241,466,0.057,0.8540000000000001,0.09,0.9418,1,0,2,0,1,0,46.0,0,0,1,4,17,10,2,1,25,0,46,4,2,2,6,58,67,24,0,9,11,5,1,3,2,8,2,0,0,3,8,19,0,2,7,2,2,7,16,4,1,2,17,2,60,6,59,27,8,71,0,0,1,0,22,21,0,3,42,247,68,13,0.08205262242474927,0.097218940229217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709113977521362,0.0,0.0,0.25009258522610145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08866973511300334,0.0,0.06551234232350912,0.0,0.0,0.10583430683974784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403941400459233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19233012477152334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229815624679523,0.14534853791939836,0.0,0.0,0.05419498325483439,0.22266388375342014,0.06913287329343805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06339365254503093,0.0,0.1286073258594941,0.0,0.1398971886822325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812449964954226,0.0,0.08734654233345987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16161060969250216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3545236500777206,0.0,0.08142456682922307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06688383869380096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08390436566455968,0.057956193802932314,0.12026030003604896,0.0,0.07245396887478348,0.07261398880045537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268974442138954,0.0,0.08284975807565989,0.2882971190777784,0.0,0.1744179044066201,0.06031811857793017,0.0,0.06328404079768644,0.0,0.08726389481542683,0.07700082774854669,0.0,0.31492681675204537,0.09341745447169676,0.0,0.0,0.1112019609871385,0.06240471678679577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885499411631967,0.0,0.0,0.07164518498410523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207482702968248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810170657423134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211187984736255,0.0,0.0,0.06316811747100612,0.0,0.0,0.11615453694953493,0.08745717805597819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659507898069171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0525760073100978,0.0,0.06514061683838605,0.09569108797116334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0557083445508121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14173424178999633,0.0,0.0,0.14519028784877616,0.0,0.06581766437124614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909579996279886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17486348629738502,0.0,0.0,0.2641959932031968
bipolarreddit,beast-freak,2019/04/02,"[Long read] The Challenge of going off Psychiatric Drugs | New Yorker I saw this article from the New Yorker and thought r/BipolarReddit might appreciate it.

* https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2019/04/08/the-challenge-of-going-off-psychiatric-drugs

I am fortunate in that I have never had any difficulty in tapering medication — I think that might be a side effect of being depressed and also the difficulty in getting decent medical care in the first place. 

Some people said they found Laura, the woman featured in the article, unbearably privileged. Despite having a very different life story I found the article highly relatable. I could identify with her lack of agency, the desire to conform to family expectations, the endless medical merrry-go-round  of various specialists and conflicting diagnoses, and underneath it all the sneaking suspicion that medication, though initially helpful, may be making things worse. 

The article is structured like a fable. In the end Laura is able to find work, shrug off mental illness, and find love. Unable to achieve even one of these, I  am slightly envious of her accomplishments but wish her well.

Needless to say I am not suggesting anyone come off their medication. I would however be interested in anyone's thoughts on the article. 

",9.505074257425745,12.593880039603965,8.669393564356438,55.39389232673268,60.4851485148515,12.376732673267329,38.367574257425744,11.81641974633143,6.046939603960396,1056,52,128,37,16,331,134,202,0.062,0.794,0.145,0.9341,2,0,2,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,2,6,4,9,1,0,16,0,17,10,0,2,2,31,31,8,0,6,2,0,0,1,0,4,9,2,0,1,8,7,0,1,8,1,0,2,2,2,1,2,7,3,14,7,25,15,4,23,0,1,1,1,11,15,0,4,7,98,22,5,0.11137217866576493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906429104135234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07573690060745909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557480337104774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11355135871635852,0.0,0.0,0.09593727035391086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892162222795533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592469428957127,0.11304041697980785,0.0,0.11636022234583228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583127378514317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864269328389114,0.0,0.0,0.07356027363270462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10499177817601267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035843072467436,0.0947331182785958,0.0,0.24422769079870066,0.0,0.0,0.05818736663570484,0.0,0.1265907514172375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465042373489215,0.1176708215172985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866546345825214,0.054410820870052834,0.0,0.0,0.09856087344112548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10051773950602047,0.0,0.07434179407853858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5609787652915306,0.11223696107910927,0.2362965631298451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589709006406601,0.2151278883187362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546867059856102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772114456217685,0.0,0.11636022234583228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140231755901102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594044588343353,0.08856762662694949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739907267358554,0.07136279507754767,0.10942260007167713,0.1768341389350795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189371123737357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013696388148018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12807250908101112,0.0,0.0,0.08108027250492293,0.0,0.11349776485182685,0.07911560030024804,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,A_Faceless_Baby,2019/04/02,Depakote and Panic Disorder I was given 500mg of depakote along with 100mg of Seroquel and 25 mg of Lexapro. At first when I was on Lexapro it didn't help much with my panic disorder but when I went on this depakote and Seroquel during inpatient it was like night and day. It was like my panic was gone and I could finially relax and function. Is it common to use this medication for panic disorder?,4.2318143459915625,5.769178784810129,5.22854430379747,81.02779535864978,71.27848101265823,7.79831223628692,30.888185654008442,8.344100000000001,2.407479324894515,320,14,59,5,6,105,45,79,0.23600000000000002,0.653,0.111,-0.8667,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,2,7,0,4,0,0,8,1,0,1,0,12,12,9,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,9,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,4,0,1,9,0,6,3,11,2,1,11,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,8,42,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458684645138601,0.0,0.0,0.10063418638292902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.536512981406443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13272925262856838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459166900427977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15246848663316415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571959070082995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470883059554984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14643485430523606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7323267029008668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477019438257232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14465250510219715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pinkbicyclee,2019/04/02,"Hospitalization While Pregnant Thinking of going to the hospital while pregnant, what should I expect?",9.324000000000002,13.965371066666664,7.788333333333334,52.58250000000001,71.66666666666666,8.333333333333334,40.833333333333336,8.841846274778883,5.538333333333334,86,5,8,2,2,26,13,15,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,8,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6635539956669031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7481283946185223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sonderpod,2019/04/02,"Quetiapine/Seroquel Problems Hi all, I’ve just started quetiapine/Seroquel and I’m 2 or so weeks into 50mg slow release at night.

I found it’s really messed with my sleeping pattern. It knocks me out but if I take it at the wrong time (day a little later that 9) I don’t get knocked out til 3am then sleep through my morning. Generally even with taking it consistently at one time (early eve) my sleeping pattern is all over the place.

Also, I just had a personal trainer session with my regular PT. He pushes me and I love that but today we weren’t even going that hard (hard enough but we usually go harder) and right at the end, just doing bicep curls, I suddenly felt ridiculously nauseous and wanted to vomit. So I lay on my back, but it comes up like a fountain all over my face and body in the middle of the gym.

I’ve had nausea and feeling like I want to vomit before when really pushing hard but this was so sudden and I couldn’t control it at all. I have a feeling it’s related to the new meds.

Has anyone ever experienced these kinda side effects before? I’m on 150 lactimal (lamotrigine) and 60mg fluoxetine too. (I also smoke weed pretty regularly atm)",1.8875862068965503,4.327562034482757,4.203337931034483,81.45545517241382,81.67241379310346,6.64303448275862,24.797241379310346,7.839951260653429,1.6968746206896554,920,36,171,17,25,318,145,232,0.063,0.8420000000000001,0.095,0.8557,1,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,2,0,0,2,16,7,1,0,10,0,10,9,6,2,5,44,26,23,0,5,10,0,6,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,12,17,0,1,5,1,1,5,3,4,0,1,6,7,21,3,23,19,5,45,0,0,0,1,6,19,0,3,23,112,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21005342651550105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183087792937088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098674011329373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235089102792804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14588102358016558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11313149261484867,0.0,0.0,0.14730079122117426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469872703370372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11632179116195165,0.13570178721157272,0.0,0.17348802029753246,0.11879794667370455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328115191059177,0.09382410758332246,0.12609998833831113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14399952748295192,0.0,0.0,0.06861591553043793,0.0,0.14927880068127808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3529449102235305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12832504732979005,0.1316298683861478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853288990437776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14588102358016558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684194067017754,0.0,0.12324684283554073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899443687502738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146746484660474,0.13721471943508395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13361257151557762,0.0,0.1256676576499842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16827018200019905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121574087623645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3942826426565148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09295796148324216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19749169265970445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15316230779306733,0.0,0.12448804388319715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446444152178505,0.0,0.15492685910840973,0.0,0.10534717059218164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435916912041239,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bedgrimlin,2019/04/02,"Diagnosed . . . Now what? I spent almost a decade avoiding seeking help because I was convinced I could manage myself and things weren't serious. I thought I was suffering from depression alone. Recently It got so bad I finally made the call and was eventually diagnosed as bipolar 1. Now that I've been officially diagnosed I've been so out of my body. Trying to look past the stigma and facing the signs that have always been there is so surreal. Makes me think how long I've been suffering from this and how alot of things are explained.

I'm in therapy now and I've gotten some answers but now what? I feel like therapy is so wasteful. I go, talk for 50 mins and I'm back to my brain spinning until we meet next time. Nothing is better just more confusing. I did not want to be on medication if therapy would help but at this point I dont feel like a chat is enough to help me cope. I'm afraid to lose alot of myself in it all. The transition from unmedicated to medicated has me hung up. What has it been like for other people making this transition? I dont know how I'm meant to tackle this.",2.2565179316096757,4.597868738532114,4.025921601334446,83.84791492910759,79.50458715596329,7.8168473728106775,24.587989991659718,8.710501217029153,1.969644036697248,867,32,172,21,22,291,127,218,0.107,0.7959999999999999,0.098,0.2876,0,2,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,0,2,14,14,0,3,8,0,23,9,3,6,1,38,43,18,0,4,5,0,2,3,0,1,6,0,0,0,15,8,0,1,8,1,1,1,4,9,0,0,16,3,19,5,23,24,6,21,0,4,1,0,9,7,0,6,16,116,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026093865238313,0.12438545290451655,0.0,0.0,0.09993127299469924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234805612383873,0.10027693004943726,0.07321071117936666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621704478966157,0.0,0.13340195888955886,0.0,0.134069242614449,0.12263362829156355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958885919827274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344035164159268,0.3656912508933005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815082502947791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240934824459184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145045583733065,0.17159626983014512,0.0,0.13156164156285038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825454038791816,0.0,0.0960534533986316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414977542077185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06600279667730759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17602165382718976,0.0,0.0,0.1062830742631924,0.10085218976062624,0.13435909827937426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11363976352527674,0.16033288149841798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24197248133020555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772573393055714,0.0,0.0,0.11523740399493974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464726362003802,0.0832609282210634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135315610555382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858242409102085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653033536040652,0.0,0.0,0.4120280678105565,0.0,0.15957573487113966,0.07695403849466301,0.0,0.095344507736792,0.07003019099469336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153875332815129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708369943617484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531427257603541,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Eggsandbake,2019/04/02,"People are saying I'm manic, but I don't agree I saw my therapist today and she said she thinks I'm manic. My husband said he agrees with her. My therapist even sent a message to my psychiatrist about it. I don't agree. Just because I'm not threatening suicide doesn't mean I have a problem. I don't see a problem with feeling happier. I thought that was the goal, but apparently not. I don't feel like I can trust my therapist and psychiatrist anymore. They just want me to keep taking these drugs that make me feel nothing at all. Should I stop seeing my therapist? What do I say to my husband to get him to leave me alone?",2.1824540682414693,4.274778944881891,3.868208661417324,86.17953083989502,78.44881889763779,7.067979002624672,26.33136482939633,8.07648339933343,1.7077616797900277,494,20,101,9,12,165,74,127,0.08900000000000001,0.6779999999999999,0.23399999999999999,0.9658,1,1,1,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,1,1,4,4,0,0,4,0,11,1,0,1,1,24,31,4,1,4,6,2,3,1,0,1,1,4,0,0,5,4,0,2,6,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,6,10,25,2,9,24,1,4,0,0,3,0,14,1,0,0,3,64,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14482038822465199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13867252139378874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523829248214095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16215692749119967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923555536355458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121048131479432,0.09989366856982924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730547372222631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428619488820022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480584293461376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831325166501391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09333675924950104,0.0,0.0,0.15231447294386588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416943215505436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693963134238387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26759440972217025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.266018274505468,0.22239482773434266,0.0,0.0,0.2228507791417683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690307461985333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15294992924981612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513379876447576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6494077047813852,0.0,0.08959660048676997,0.0,0.11100838806391627,0.0,0.0,0.13254128088061792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247460442187599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hammerkat605,2019/04/02,"I am livid at a friend who made a post claiming that everyone who takes meds is ""addicted"" to them. So I have a shitty friend, Emma.

She's a flake, she's a liar, she wants to copy my homework all the time, she's always got her hand out. 

I guess you can tell that I'm fairly unimpressed with her at this point. I'm only staying friendly with her because we have a class together and next semester we'll have another class together.

Tonight though she went too far with a post about the evils of prescription medications, how it ""only hurts doesn't heal"", how pot is the answer for everything, and how everyone who takes meds has to take them because they're ""addicted."" 

She knows I have bipolar and that I take meds for it. She's even suggested that she is also bipolar, because she ""has ups and downs too"". Also, that her bf must be bipolar... And her friend Alicia 🙄🙄🙄 

Anyway, I'm just so angry at her ignorance and stupidity right now. 

",2.9692741935483866,4.857336612903229,4.106115591397852,86.3291733870968,75.34408602150538,7.660752688172043,25.603494623655912,8.472884824447931,1.7186462365591395,734,26,149,14,16,239,103,186,0.153,0.765,0.083,-0.9263,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,2,1,2,0,15,10,3,0,10,0,15,8,1,4,2,23,28,14,0,2,1,0,1,0,5,2,7,0,1,0,11,11,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,3,1,26,4,16,22,1,17,0,1,0,0,30,9,0,1,4,98,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26959390477525874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19776601549257866,0.10288685878392388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296579995428314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.226128014089694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166978058652775,0.0,0.0,0.2363061001057969,0.11112881267844488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38212730278641904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889434807917877,0.0,0.1362146184999261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132370079734158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06795490758375908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170007941626426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4120424396023727,0.1245645520673848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315033738305659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1880830741685812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11688939147667213,0.0,0.2368453930671717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055965818166189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131794644330137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3718782006854093,0.0,0.10807571121911648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148567831167095,0.0,0.07210141685940923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293208239187962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11462495968504414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Choky672,2019/04/02,"New trimester and I’m depressed as hell My school year is divided into 10 week trimesters. For most of last trimester I was very manic which boosted my grades, and I crashed before finals which was annoying but ultimately fine since I had hyperfocused on school and had good enough grades that I bombed finals and still got good grades. Now I’m still depressed from that episode and today was the first day of the next trimester. I spent all morning crying in bed and wishing I could skip class (if you don’t show up to the first day you’re dropped so I literally had to go). Then all day in class I was just on the verge of tears. I have literally no self esteem. I feel like complete garbage. It’s like there’s a hole in my chest. How the hell am I supposed to get a running start on the trimester if I already wanted to skip on the first day? 

Ive already exhausted my universities resources. I have accommodations through the disability office that allow me unlimited absenses, but im really cautious about using it because in the past it’s just caused me to fall behind on the material. I saw a therapist on campus all last year who I adored and who was very helpful but he moved to a different school. The therapist they set me up with this year was a total bitch, she spent all the sessions telling me to drop my classes and saying I’m “going down a bad path” and yelling at me to tell my parents I’m bipolar so I can use their insurance and see a psychiatrist. My parents are emotionally neglectful, I.e they have no fucking emotions and don’t give a shit about mental health, so I absolutely cannot use their insurance to get on meds. Even if I don’t tell them what it’s for they’ll still get the bills and be furious. 

I’m so hopeless. Idk what to do. I have no choice but to stay in my classes and act “normal” but every second I’m not in class I’m in bed crying and feeling like absolute shit. I’ve never had a depressive episode this bad before. I just don’t know what to do. ",3.67551061760415,5.222007680904525,4.567348030474958,85.18411168746962,72.69346733668341,7.748549197600907,28.416599124655534,8.360895534625662,1.8941448208785867,1579,62,324,26,31,511,193,398,0.19399999999999998,0.7170000000000001,0.08900000000000001,-0.9943,3,0,0,0,1,1,28.0,0,1,6,3,16,23,8,0,22,0,29,7,3,6,6,49,57,29,0,7,12,2,2,3,0,1,3,2,2,1,16,16,0,1,3,1,3,6,10,16,0,4,14,6,42,7,43,40,7,56,2,5,2,1,20,20,6,4,29,203,58,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18842282438454067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425660560080636,0.05204268990505622,0.0,0.14529255335411162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770175913632564,0.0,0.0,0.08951214080297583,0.0,0.0,0.06816352658784147,0.0,0.18755682921268452,0.2202345186362895,0.0,0.22059534967352926,0.0,0.0,0.0891967882603896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19206664284020003,0.0,0.08821330270032404,0.0,0.05638817131245956,0.0,0.07193057490695333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633447633754572,0.12198121443944501,0.0,0.1870442618288689,0.0,0.21785511548513314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892611676217551,0.1338118675764249,0.08189772061249563,0.09703907591657657,0.1432139231478046,0.06828072025263446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09074768378072286,0.0,0.0,0.057223833928743174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09221766994972598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04691885961779439,0.1391810506358827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12512705038829589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483034200018857,0.0,0.08603607186834733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073816507511663,0.0,0.0,0.06584504910842097,0.08245393621817165,0.09079533113068726,0.0,0.08364757674929495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189593596373088,0.0,0.0814983476177794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05469223657710346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06789216864410892,0.0,0.2592066071199585,0.06803136041471718,0.0,0.08906283187535842,0.0,0.17526865717329745,0.0706215655666895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06042756667560671,0.0909964362482733,0.20453736318988094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238597315373985,0.0,0.0,0.1982496529301841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092377943791139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22120501456699732,0.0,0.1408836067593674,0.050355305555530326,0.0,0.06848120455172811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981749282029018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649325605075634
bipolarreddit,torchic442,2019/04/02,"People with breasts Through mania and medications I managed to lose so much weight I now have the smallest breasts in my life.
Maybe this isn’t the place but I’m p angry about it. I lost a lost of weight, unhealthily, but like, god fuck.
I also worry, maybe it’s new med, I’m gonna enter mania soon. ",0.2214516129032269,2.573178161290325,1.8970161290322598,95.26552419354843,89.96774193548387,4.390322580645162,19.04032258064516,5.985473137389443,-0.18049032258064512,234,7,51,2,8,76,48,62,0.298,0.617,0.085,-0.9423,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,3,5,5,1,0,3,0,2,7,2,0,0,4,8,5,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,2,5,1,6,5,1,6,0,3,0,3,0,2,1,0,4,27,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16141916514326676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18660683321291466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425724416437954,0.09861358774557426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258182292832655,0.4406856735405202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4055703910494449,0.0,0.22420955875069049,0.2033423786294241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14838278494024185,0.0,0.0,0.19494773789487208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13993719532313886,0.0,0.21089001806827767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4915972123866731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20498821024875027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ctilley83,2019/04/02,"What careers can BP sufferers succeed in? To start let’s just say I’ve had a very hard time getting my career together.  Took me seven years to get a bachelors degree in Information Systems.  My grades in subjects that interest me I excelled in, and anything else I usually failed or received a sympathy D.

My first Job out of college I was happy for about 6 months, then I started struggling. This was well before I was diagnosed and started having intense panic attacks. I was able to hold that job for another year before I was let go right in the middle of the Great Recession.

So I tried to freelance however I struggled.  I would program for hours upon hours until I would crash after a few days.  That led to poor quality work and I was in over my head. It was the perfect example of being overly ambitious and it led to me abusing Xanax to try and reduce the anxiety. I literally forgot two weeks of my life off of one binge.

Luckily I was diagnosed and got on the right medications. I’ve been sober for quite a few years, but I’ve had very little luck becoming financially independent. That’s kind of the cruelest thing about it because my mood has improved, however I’m still spinning my wheels. I’m getting older and feel like I’m running out of time to build any type of meaningful career.

My question is what careers have bipolar sufferers been able to excel in? Is there anything that fits the personality type so to speak? Seriously need to know what careers would accept someone who is only productive 6 months out of the year and burns out quickly. I feel I need to work in a field completely different than what I’m in because it’s just not working.",4.882667189132707,6.52479729153605,5.980583855799375,75.85869187565311,69.81504702194357,9.078422152560083,33.35436259143156,9.516144504307137,3.3808149425287364,1332,64,233,30,24,443,175,319,0.10400000000000001,0.758,0.139,0.9119,5,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,11,10,21,1,3,14,0,25,7,1,3,1,36,44,14,0,5,5,0,3,1,0,3,6,2,0,1,16,12,0,2,7,0,1,6,1,8,1,4,15,5,27,12,48,23,2,53,0,3,0,0,7,23,0,3,24,156,43,20,0.19815448077335288,0.11739032862797005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737592096628046,0.10389112524915907,0.07579381770947513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630642538204953,0.0,0.0,0.11271466419467045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079313227604024,0.10942302790363974,0.16861486837099224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10388060152204888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389662359381325,0.0,0.0,0.20112262686590124,0.0,0.10351462868840307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276632102926161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019285935497577,0.07078080032881033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427505005927527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15529130651923415,0.0,0.05630787894764892,0.0,0.07924112001538235,0.1092330072996956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546956472541598,0.08875374663317408,0.0,0.1016818324212736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195142248381226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19663774642957946,0.0,0.0,0.10317369944620017,0.05445026022283464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026263819675738,0.06998118494720952,0.04840413506821102,0.09930142339242047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998098962352344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581650160492704,0.0,0.0,0.14692903668713214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06713730222514702,0.07535270590550805,0.0,0.11624579420978133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651042471833324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11098918412474494,0.1053808408098103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16922284388275485,0.0,0.07879019822473013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394782426183346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21038214208034176,0.0,0.07912321215608865,0.0,0.0,0.20715408725470008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582251606295167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11554547125506474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007845959404744,0.13453388524337515,0.0,0.09678406737169028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091195827588352,0.16349819905404758,0.0,0.0,0.07947378599117905,0.0,0.08908233780585176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21638823301721494,0.0,0.0,0.2111448867173882,0.0,0.0,0.2552099777363804
bipolarreddit,klk_kvn,2019/04/02,"Does anyone take Saphris (Asenapine) more than twice daily? Hi there.

So I’ve been taking saphris for a few years and it’s starting to feel like it’s effects don’t last all day. I take it upon waking and before bed since it makes me sleepy. Anyone on a different dosing schedule for saphris? ",3.440526315789473,5.535845684210528,3.7612631578947346,88.4008421052632,74.6140350877193,5.963508771929827,25.43508771929825,6.742157984588678,1.006167719298245,232,8,44,2,5,72,45,57,0.0,0.945,0.055,0.4329,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,2,2,1,2,1,6,8,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,2,1,6,7,3,7,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,6,24,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770566378202472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22943132019708795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17388604989460102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.281701111522825,0.0,0.0,0.2359509671266111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363306819749467,0.19262040911261866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197806525980821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13172533026284822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799770196578297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22303688177137065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908422156349924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6081741401484598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17362989007202048
bipolarreddit,Reaper_of_Souls,2019/04/02,"Reminder: It's okay to strive for average. I've been laying low lately, but I've got a few reasons I want to write this post. And I know I'll catch some shit for it, but I'm willing to take it.

My sisters and I all went to prestigious colleges, having been instructed by our parents to meet ""better quality people"". I never really knew what this meant... just that all my friends were rich. They also drank more and did more drugs than the other kids. Let's just say it helped with the homesickness.

Five years later, I was homeless. Back at that same college and hiding my situation from everyone. My mother disowned me (not for my drinking, but hers) we were losing our house, my entire belongings I carried around in a backpack.

The overnight laundromat was dope. Energy drinks were my best friend so I didn't have to sleep. I ate so much at the 24 hour McDonalds. And if I had to sleep, I'd lie on the swing right by the lake where I could stare at the moon, with the mountains in the distance...

It's only now, in my late 20s, that I have a solid job history. I still want to finish school and start on the career path I've planned on since I started college, but it's an uphill battle

I am bipolar. I am an addict. I am sober from alcohol (over two months!) I am working class, but I am educated. I have insanely rich friends from college. I have friends from the hood. I've seen life from so many different perspectives... I sometimes feel blessed.

So I guess basically... I'm average.

Manic symptoms, and sometimes just coping mechanisms, often lead people to believe they are ""better"" than others. I've heard people with bipolar (no, not just Kanye) view it as a ""superpower"". It's all very self-involved thinking that, not surprisingly, draws people away.

When I was bullied in school, I would often talk about how I was ""better"" than ""everyone else"". I'll never forgetting sitting with my uncle at our cottage, facing the ocean, saying to me in his Irish brougue, ""Reaper, you're no better than they are. You put your pants on one leg at a time, just like they do. Just as long as you know you're just as good as them."" His time is coming soon, I'm going to miss him.",2.9535199701381103,5.032840326241138,3.9267295010576113,86.73644736842104,75.99763593380615,6.816697772800798,25.079569491103648,7.7627490962704995,1.3723465721040191,1690,59,332,25,38,544,231,423,0.07400000000000001,0.7859999999999999,0.14,0.9852,4,0,4,0,0,0,86.0,4,3,5,9,23,22,2,0,19,1,30,16,5,3,5,55,54,25,1,5,16,3,1,1,4,2,7,3,1,1,17,14,5,0,7,2,2,6,8,6,0,3,20,7,52,16,52,30,10,47,1,4,3,0,31,20,1,5,20,224,69,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489545377126634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028313402395014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694816376847521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856573848433002,0.0,0.0,0.09040310804162004,0.07398826427721925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840849009116127,0.10097835067280862,0.34039979228600303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288615677932785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682490333391083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053081140056576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18852054539578347,0.11158619590002956,0.0,0.08038057533643597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18388721080455714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048652396164306166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2973614470815741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05468479992225637,0.08070588739068227,0.07695698851816936,0.0,0.10599864436653947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06449513002098144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475862888591516,0.1110264972406658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548482398584396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057614544056568,0.0,0.2170837053195709,0.0,0.0,0.09839283031038523,0.06796397180434659,0.047008882079823296,0.0,0.0,0.08515285017191025,0.0,0.10764705710981444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975533272657362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07680294853049123,0.0,0.07073374977420045,0.0,0.1484236449020042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520206422471747,0.07318065824987689,0.0,0.0,0.10684240123140196,0.0,0.0,0.2668310225361156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215343722301728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967290143303626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06164184863200474,0.09893155407722501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08217249107009794,0.0,0.15303812916697296,0.0,0.1947622483004358,0.0,0.0,0.10037983349718928,0.0,0.09876981370271942,0.07959527946310993,0.10815680774468377,0.19258164211831624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19033071378959932,0.0,0.13621190689347354,0.0,0.07684247936216418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10001080556964634,0.07234646614332126,0.07733906119081478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06165474376317336,0.0,0.0,0.11221486398698503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939942590415058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939267532375373,0.11350766825914793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08919813798979667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005027507831016,0.0,0.0,0.06835287293443072,0.0,0.0,0.06196338252970274
bipolarreddit,andrewtha,2018/12/07,"What do I do now? For years I've been going manic, thinking I'm amazing, fucking up my life, and, when it all crashes down, getting depressed and hating myself. 

This year it's gotten worse and I began to question if maybe I'm not actually a troubled creative genius, so I went to the doctor and was diagnosed bipolar. 

I've been on Lamictal for a month, just got up to 100mg, and Klonopin for panic attacks. Was on seroquel for a couple days but it fucked me up. Hopefully some of the medicine helps soon. 

How do you deal with this? I'm questioning what parts of me are actually me, or if I've ever made a decision on my own, without the influence of an illness. I'm grateful to have an answer to why I am the way I am, but the answer presents a new problem.

What do I do now?",4.350250000000003,4.546428525,5.9162500000000025,81.14375000000003,70.0,8.4,32.875,8.238735603445708,2.442575,604,27,123,8,10,207,97,160,0.16399999999999998,0.746,0.09,-0.8861,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,0,8,10,4,1,12,0,13,7,0,3,2,28,29,13,0,4,8,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,6,0,0,2,2,8,0,0,9,0,13,2,21,20,4,22,0,1,0,2,5,7,2,7,12,90,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.3195327714328462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18625429905982588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811522525784752,0.0,0.10558538167847324,0.16878737318286188,0.14101116292456273,0.16617160757043087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16757360496445325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480934481715493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30271164445375504,0.08553655862639195,0.0,0.09304543113242728,0.0,0.1309412521487904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616388791461099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109737572182317,0.0,0.0,0.16261017103100234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563975852518095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15491512697766432,0.0,0.0,0.1644780069176926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306791552391277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15812108620203566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920892820281262,0.0,0.17729200951853585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15665722570226295,0.0,0.0,0.3668060911164704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490469422873393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299527319421266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15176939875924345,0.14773117163436686,0.0,0.0,0.15781952899038207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668439178214262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108596776470318
bipolarreddit,ekhojustin,2018/12/07,"SAD Light and My Great Experience Let's face it. It's that time of year that many of us also get hit with Seasonal Affective Disorder on top of our regular ups and downs. My Pdoc strongly recommended Aura® Day Light Therapy Lamp. At first I was skeptical but living in Western Pennsylvania skies are very gray right now.

​

I decided to give it a shot and I must say that I am pleasantly surprised. I feel more energetic and strong enough to combat the winter blues. This 10,000 Lux of Bright Light pulled me out of what was about to be another damn depressive winter episode.

​

Just thought I would share so others may give this a try. Have a great weekend Warriors!

​

[Link for those interested.](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01IAEV13W/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1)

​

​",7.9283216783216774,10.459031762237764,6.478601398601402,71.76867132867136,63.54545454545455,9.955244755244756,34.67832167832168,10.230975488527342,3.963844755244757,694,31,107,17,11,206,109,143,0.102,0.675,0.22399999999999998,0.9646,0,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,2,0,0,4,5,12,2,0,4,0,10,1,1,1,1,16,16,7,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,11,6,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,4,0,1,3,8,11,8,17,7,2,19,0,2,3,0,6,9,1,1,9,65,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670813174700162,0.0,0.5453240887021027,0.5096359882921055,0.0,0.08795878713738131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054097686400129616,0.0,0.07224842634030894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613734676366337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667370792464868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205380771105246,0.0,0.0,0.04241383644442349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07135095679614797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04382547897026047,0.1609367045280314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18496291794717495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577619482491745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407035022334972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850443388910372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716357439972286,0.0,0.06670724046486552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592768210512392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06659384403527895,0.04891293402799542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05695114643578617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10090109024161344,0.0,0.0,0.0692123761940704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05958817656907792,0.0,0.5096359882921055,0.0540179925215311
bipolarreddit,ledandelion,2018/12/07,"Just therapy, no meds, did this work for anyone?  I may have asked a similar question before, but did anyone find it worth trying therapy without/before meds? I am not against meds at all, but my psychiatrist didn't say he thinks I definitely need them, just that they are an option. He also seemed okay with me just returning if I had problems and decided I needed them. My therapist mentioned she wants to see if there is anything else going on such as trauma before concluding it is something that needs meds. I have been diagnosed with bipolar for about 6 months (after a mixed episode on an SSRI). Guess I am a bit conflicted/confused right now. ",6.218119834710745,7.317418115702484,6.497179752066118,75.42031508264462,66.1900826446281,9.686363636363636,32.48037190082645,9.827888789773867,3.2587760330578512,516,21,89,11,8,166,88,121,0.078,0.853,0.07,-0.2406,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,3,2,8,3,0,0,5,1,13,2,0,1,1,26,23,7,0,7,8,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,6,0,1,1,3,2,0,0,5,2,14,1,12,17,2,9,0,0,1,0,10,4,0,7,4,64,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067425636838778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866622886972789,0.0,0.10984128365703907,0.0,0.12478421025484912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34074065562990863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14572375404492355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13547768434733198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115040081737648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219967656354777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07585880484172124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14704141713821509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5930572886370308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10654112097193713,0.0,0.0,0.29691744728994035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772072488631636,0.0,0.0,0.1495262655140811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139897553306699,0.0,0.10614731689906597,0.0,0.0,0.10636493895002658,0.12151364875472452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275813132320423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3052881816380492,0.15497861649567493,0.0,0.08552751736032896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062301702719207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872897100063354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12866833657694124,0.0,0.09717380613678872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ZetaBunny,2018/12/07,"Describe your hypomania please? Would you mind telling me what YOUR specific, typical hypomanic episode is like, and compare it to what your “normal” is like when you’re not depressed or hypo?  Be as detailed as possible, please.",7.170769230769231,9.513321461538462,6.726153846153848,69.99384615384618,65.15384615384616,10.328205128205127,41.20512820512821,10.504223727775694,5.089882051282052,183,11,28,5,3,57,31,39,0.0,0.723,0.27699999999999997,0.8925,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,6,4,5,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,3,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,19,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25927509741834803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29413428911451744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3039526097256017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.294943664622745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6608770052505275,0.0,0.3393639995528679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631118642723093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138417550045608,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SecTrono,2018/12/07,would you compare hypomania/mainia to being high on cocaine? i was thinking about how i would describe hypomania to a normie. i've only ever tried coke when i was too drunk to feel much but from what i have heard its a lot like a nice hypo episode that only lasts an hour.  do you think this is a good comparison?,4.911190476190473,5.373387698412703,5.723928571428572,82.07732142857144,68.84126984126982,8.204761904761906,28.448412698412696,8.07648339933343,1.6796698412698414,247,8,51,3,4,81,49,63,0.027000000000000003,0.792,0.18,0.8875,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,5,3,0,0,5,0,8,2,0,1,1,9,12,3,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,4,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,6,3,6,6,2,6,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,5,36,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562033594524272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14321273356001546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23756508741261126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992545971840751,0.0,0.0,0.2789306044726128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308753069097068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837490103295358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407972895330268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20821119736637397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4308277880617568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36297264214683467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922987884185616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.402405741602586,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,chemkitty123,2019/01/07,"Struggling to stay medicated (xpost from r/bipolar2) I was diagnosed a few years ago (bp2) after a long depressive stage and short hypomania. Basically I have a hard time staying medicated. I recognize that it helps make the depressive and hypomanic stages more manageable and my life more livable in some ways. However, there are a few things counteracting this:

1. I sometimes get this intense urge to cut/hurt myself. It's so intense that I can't focus on anything else, and it makes me very irritable and frustrated. All I can think about is ripping my veins open, I want it more than anything. Theyve tossed around the idea that it could be harm OCD ,but no therapy (ERP) works on it. No idea if it's that or just another facet of bipolar, but it seems to get more intense and unbearable when I'm slightly affected by but not consumed by depression. This plays into wanting to stop medicating because it gets so intense that I'd almost rather be severely depressed. It's like I can't win.

2. In a sick way, I like feeling extreme emotions. I really can't describe it. I don't enjoy being severely depressed or even hypomanic, and yet I want it. Even the depression.

3. I think I deserve it. I'm not sad about deserving it either. Rather, I'm angry about it. Angry about not feeling extreme emotions and instead feeling dead all the time, even though I'm still experiencing rapid cycling with only sometimes less intensity.

Just. I'm fucking mad. All the time. I want to flay my veins and feel all the feelings. And yet I'm sick of it all 

Just, can anyone relate? I don't know how to fix this, or if I even want to feel okay anymore. I'm waiting for a new therapist in February and I'm not hopeful that it will help. Waiting for psychiatrists appt at the end of January, and I dont even know what to say. I'm fucking sick of trying meds and trying to justify side effects...nausea, rashes, 60 pounds gained, lack of focus, constant exhaustion, poor memory. And I'm irritable because of wanting to flay my veins.

Commiseration or advice much appreciated.",3.3497752052766216,5.835616690537088,4.900644097455917,78.25409981154934,76.46803069053709,8.003257504374748,30.238322789069862,8.841846274778883,2.8712823529411766,1630,78,292,38,38,546,203,391,0.222,0.66,0.11800000000000001,-0.9952,1,0,0,0,0,2,61.0,0,0,0,3,25,21,4,1,13,1,17,16,4,4,5,73,54,28,1,13,19,0,7,2,0,1,10,1,0,0,29,18,0,3,13,1,1,0,12,14,0,0,1,9,24,7,36,48,16,32,0,7,0,2,3,11,2,10,17,184,53,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807718799087134,0.07327082076067024,0.0,0.08276947215776599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667351804731221,0.0,0.0,0.08197395573963925,0.05779599404177385,0.0,0.13604003722634234,0.07358263340680775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077439921080736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932331276550932,0.0,0.06599522865277807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.427156318641556,0.08389554732215028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687388750683686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06904967293630702,0.18595695741293145,0.07320994528763379,0.0,0.0,0.2729722510969361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507644685536485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15283091656600795,0.1295552803562928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404481799699493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11080706041960073,0.0,0.0,0.08209747440164956,0.0,0.0,0.08848648394403692,0.18662034539762584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085271914778696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058383384354991914,0.0807644861741082,0.0,0.0,0.07314922080807121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103489472131667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09181376634699982,0.2498059816533261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060762718691976976,0.0,0.0,0.07983105696603504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286469705233774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0529524635698881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06573250266954568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524821610659528,0.0,0.1867587274405142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16350061543971547,0.0,0.0,0.1762036360913265,0.06601032706427032,0.06910530917298825,0.0,0.08641148835949328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452597013632287,0.09597164224331037,0.054913920897665086,0.10592708186026524,0.08121050123219135,0.0,0.1445946291960888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223793276520597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820103291993529,0.2925209481116107,0.13121923452142625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601755904708373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05322867222329791
bipolarreddit,kra4173,2019/01/07,"There is hope To those of you out there thinking no one loves you or wants you, please do not give up. I have struggled so much with those thoughts recently. I was having a particularly bad day while spending time with my boyfriend this past weekend. He recognized that I wasn't doing well without me having to say anything. I told him there wasn't anything he could do to help and that I just had to work through it. He kissed me on my forehead and told me he loves me unconditionally and that broke my bad spell. It took me a bit to fully pull out of it. 

If I can find someone who loves me, there is hope for every single one of us. Please do not give up. Focus on yourself and someone will come along. Remember, if you're gone, they won't be able to find you. ",3.756551319648096,4.7463635290322586,4.2177126099706745,89.92111436950148,71.7741935483871,6.926686217008798,26.34897360703813,6.980632752743323,0.9102903225806456,597,19,132,5,11,188,92,155,0.098,0.746,0.156,0.875,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,4,1,1,7,11,0,1,2,0,18,5,1,0,0,26,33,9,0,6,7,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,10,10,0,0,5,1,1,4,7,4,1,2,9,1,22,7,21,20,3,16,0,1,0,4,21,6,0,5,6,95,32,1,0.1357855307071515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22347984418991912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267504927501296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482426313880875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169672114316431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10841369730046686,0.0,0.0,0.08757043404943057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11440516600269315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482110302080711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26051570793184425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101417899685882,0.0,0.0,0.269731340298602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3676552286528206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981798875316286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840235795286429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296226535130326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29810347417372896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407183028482986,0.0,0.15381853648393926,0.0,0.0,0.10798210405046113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301012790549348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195251889463026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700588529771808,0.0,0.10779854399051507,0.0791776349136524,0.0,0.0,0.2594977871035292,0.15086272081326044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16333327460927574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800898240928684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208749929240023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130892406083731,0.0,0.09885348355267183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BluesBreaker013,2019/01/07,"New here and seeking advice I’ve been on a mix of 1mg Clonazepam, 75mg of Venlafaxine (Effexor), and 200mg of Lamictil (god I hate spelling these) for about ten years now. I had a suicide attempt about four or five days ago now. While I was in there, a psychiatrist decided to take me off of the Effexor and onto Latuda (40mg) instead. Is there anything I should expect? I typically drink 3-4 times a week, though I won’t be for awhile, and smoke pot everyday. Today was my second dose and I’m afraid to go outside or do anything until I know how this affects me. I’m sick (bi-polar II) and I truly want to get better. Any advice you guys can offer me? I found this sub late last night while searching for other resources. This seems to be a place that I can speak freely and get legitimate answers. Thank you all. ",2.560675324675324,4.281642145454549,4.167640692640696,86.1743181818182,76.03030303030303,6.896103896103897,25.119047619047624,7.7094869923839395,1.3039956709956722,634,22,130,9,14,212,114,165,0.07400000000000001,0.8440000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.3313,0,0,2,0,0,1,26.0,0,2,0,2,10,4,1,1,6,0,12,3,0,2,1,20,24,14,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,6,7,1,0,5,1,0,1,1,2,0,4,5,1,16,2,18,15,1,22,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,3,16,82,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3782377429793463,0.17155592950220824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316095384434825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31852345577119057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17116481195009034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12481321247523043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895893266250068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121996900013685,0.0,0.0,0.20222671920146126,0.0,0.10998964990386344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916287697804266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19107444085921904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636104877351103,0.15775577918583186,0.2183144199291044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869160334055278,0.0,0.18161824764630125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022015032736598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618579297366538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21169443331362767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455132412333654,0.0,0.0,0.1781798097846938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901458572401745,0.0,0.11285104472801433,0.0,0.1834472986310224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415117830710368,0.0,0.15524104372376352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462934418687295
bipolarreddit,yauc-OIC,2019/01/07,"Is each episode different? I'm 19 and I'm looking for help because I can't tell if my diagnosis of Bipolar II is correct. Around mid November I experienced what I believe to be my second hypomanic episode, starting about a week before I got a new job, not triggered by anything major in my life. I started averaging 6-7 hours of sleep instead of my usual 9-12, I started feeling lots of motivation for no reason, lots of energy and focus, which eventually grew into a sense of power and superiority amongst other. My mind was always racing with thoughts, and my internal world was flowing with extremely vivid and beautiful imagery. I would talk to anyone and everyone, just became extremely social when I normally keep  to myself. I was always happy, always felt accomplished, very excited about what was going on in my life, telling my friends how great my life was like my first episode. I started to lose inhibitions, I had what I refer to as “tunnel vision” where there's one thing I want to do in that moment and I will do that one thing regardless of the consequences, regardless of what other people might think, I just didn't give a shit. Eventually I took MDMA again (fucking idiotic move when you're manic) and it kind of pushed me over the edge; I started getting overly suspicious of everyone in my life, I felt like everyone who is normally nice to me was turning against me, just generally paranoid which is extremely unusual for me.


This time I didn't blow all my money again, although I did have one splurge where I spent a considerable amount. I made an effort not to go crazy spending again after the last episode. This time I also didn't clean the fuck out of my house, I didn't stay up till 3am every night chain-smoking like the first episode, I'm pretty confused on what I'm experiencing exactly.


Then a few days before New Year's it kind of just ended. My mood started to sink, I've been avoiding my family and coworkers, everyone can tell something's up. I just stay in bed for as long as I possibly can now, distracting myself by staying on my phone all day instead of going out and enjoying the world",10.217246187363834,7.594562387654321,10.250312273057377,64.00522875816996,59.69135802469136,13.4800290486565,43.08278867102396,11.892052765847286,5.111257080610021,1697,78,298,40,17,568,221,405,0.059000000000000004,0.794,0.147,0.987,3,1,1,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,0,7,22,21,4,3,13,0,27,9,2,5,4,55,57,21,0,7,8,0,3,3,1,3,5,0,2,0,18,17,0,2,9,0,3,8,8,8,0,6,20,7,48,12,54,33,8,64,0,1,2,2,10,21,3,5,35,206,66,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06600320648541959,0.20602718524830774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057710388240320765,0.0,0.06791926927396913,0.07347364487896504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05031256750197313,0.0,0.14046240521961498,0.0929886771280035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106456488945591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862315041458695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310150877495518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695392938386572,0.31546290256593523,0.0,0.0,0.0778066488061444,0.0,0.04173217387883574,0.0,0.15849307875943358,0.0,0.0,0.14040845087615927,0.0,0.0,0.06376633317587099,0.15260454770919776,0.0431211289058157,0.0791750888374737,0.14071962074660693,0.0,0.06601077601986614,0.09099512446867096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786003797839702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0553214680585116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128034565517013,0.09523430402806796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190324817528116,0.07336089670245469,0.0,0.17189499502182787,0.0,0.06727703754252963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331876341100849,0.12096729013179415,0.0,0.0,0.07304087423878446,0.06930860967354432,0.09233554889425047,0.0,0.14033660424662514,0.0,0.07809660883181183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755658786310222,0.08333681788157106,0.0,0.0,0.08772163897899228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594256268977789,0.0,0.07745350267590083,0.16173354449023206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677835479446254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05721937410409721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09304580688361426,0.0,0.08396776280285784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485972207640541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472098733846363,0.0,0.0,0.08259460179116032,0.08413403454906285,0.0,0.0635394722190442,0.0,0.0,0.3505121698620425,0.2639139723292114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06633850341802637,0.21641767315441335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096651678838484,0.052885092822365136,0.0,0.0655235675787523,0.09625363979771304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09169941741691684,0.0,0.08977437513175343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909006376421289,0.06810001546743122,0.048681279051238265,0.0,0.06620459536028912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05863049311660368,0.0,0.0,0.0531498314105131
bipolarreddit,Crrrie,2019/01/07,"Crisis Center I'm sitting in my car outside a crisis center. I don't know if I should go in or go home. I forced myself to not move last night because I was scared if I got up I would kill myself. I felt like Donnie Darko, with the path laid out towards the supplies to do it. 

My husband is worried I'll lose my job if I check in. I'm scared to go home. He keeps telling me to calm down, but the problem is I'm terrified of myself. I think I'm going to sit in my car all day...I can't decide if I should go into the center or go home.",0.5405785123966922,1.6288345041322358,3.0744545454545467,94.57168181818184,79.99173553719008,5.170578512396695,20.36446280991736,4.935628992294339,-0.3225411570247938,409,10,100,1,10,143,69,121,0.22,0.752,0.027999999999999997,-0.968,1,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,1,0,7,1,2,5,0,9,0,0,0,1,21,24,7,1,8,8,1,1,1,0,3,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,1,4,0,1,9,3,5,0,0,3,1,18,2,16,18,1,25,0,1,0,0,3,12,0,6,3,58,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871523588077696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443590875074313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554848264759542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5521948588495311,0.0,0.1295157382937905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4873077658095361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606973936026544,0.14393696410194373,0.1791591954045691,0.0,0.08899628944770682,0.1320001931944786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791141933457622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811659778428021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721133051562113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15196681795545594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15495175059751398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3242541894294001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14153999497487366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376263171884087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16445479035873753,0.0,0.1150353330226056,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Karoal,2019/01/07,"How effective was therapy in your Bipolar treatment? You can also say which type of therapy you had, if you had any :)",3.766363636363636,6.097911090909097,5.327272727272729,76.46090909090911,74.45454545454545,9.854545454545457,33.72727272727273,10.125756701596842,4.172381818181817,92,5,16,3,2,31,18,22,0.0,0.775,0.225,0.7269,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,0,3,4,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,4,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,14,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030048123081533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25766381885540873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013151148333663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8666063937820347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ugvjivvnjbhyfv,2019/01/07,"How to get meds without psych? Hey guys I'll keep this short, basically I've been seeing a psych through my university. Were currently about 2 weeks from the end of winter break and I'm going to run out of my lamictal tomorrow. For some reason the pharmacy said im not able to refill my prescription without a confirmation from my doc. Do I have any options for getting an emergency script somewhere or am I going to have to just wait it out? I cant afford a trip to urgent care, however after I get my next paycheck I will be able too if that's my only option. Anyone know what I should do",4.478249999999999,5.207128325000003,6.091666666666669,78.10500000000003,69.91666666666666,9.333333333333334,29.166666666666664,9.516144504307137,2.575916666666666,469,17,92,10,8,161,87,120,0.024,0.927,0.049,0.4137,3,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,6,0,11,0,0,2,0,18,23,4,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,4,3,0,2,2,0,0,4,4,0,0,0,3,2,12,1,19,17,1,15,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,5,7,60,16,2,0.41113771905708507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13979387373597102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14373852629641354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095911527356483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820729934721714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222037336856345,0.0,0.2336590404125952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035454904233122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220496440842299,0.0,0.0,0.1827190476675201,0.0,0.0,0.11297526910676566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283406607541404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21862481423646954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634438095904038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21135902504054874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19554306020680493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16381176595428393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16489493939133898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3963220896873116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ovihydration01,2019/01/07,Suicide hotline doesn't answer. I've exhausted all my options. Now what? I'm I just supposed to die at this point. I can't think of anything else to do. ,-1.1008333333333304,0.7010222500000012,1.2399999999999984,95.67166666666668,107.75,3.3833333333333333,24.08333333333333,5.46131890053228,0.4986083333333333,120,6,25,1,6,40,27,32,0.251,0.6859999999999999,0.063,-0.8069,0,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,5,5,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,4,5,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,15,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3697666097852109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4663415518998346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3753639588609564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4247693293682415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4915024717866411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28791743035723283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,speleothemm,2019/01/07,"I literally cannot leave my house. Please, does anyone know what to do during these periods of intense social anxiety? I can't even bring myself to text reply or reply to texts. I am fine otherwise, all things considered. But that doesn't make this any less...idk. 

What to do? I need to do something. ",1.7964778325123127,4.451851603448277,3.3069458128078817,86.11120689655175,84.6896551724138,6.762561576354681,20.354679802955662,7.957251820313856,1.206750738916257,235,7,45,5,7,77,45,58,0.032,0.8390000000000001,0.129,0.4953,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,1,1,6,11,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,6,11,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,29,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175986989995819,0.0,0.2447853163157103,0.0,0.0,0.22373881975178908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800183612169596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113450604942412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3692162092965422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758537117527077,0.0,0.0,0.3388146838502449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135904366700692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23726256183112185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3512440928903571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3261813022739585,0.0,0.2463377384109853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21258178967743566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Dragonrun,2019/01/07,"Abilify Withdrawal? I'm thinking of dropping my abilify 15mg to see if my lamictal is enough to hold my moods on its own. At the current dose lamictal has worked wonders for my depression/anxiety, and if it's able to control my hypomania then that would be amazing, so I feel like this is something worth trying to keep my meds as few as possible. Has anyone dropped abilify cold turkey? And was it painful or just meh?",6.1496296296296284,6.6907229753086455,7.04404938271605,73.41422222222224,66.16049382716051,11.418271604938273,39.65679012345679,11.20814326018867,4.802281975308642,335,19,61,10,5,112,63,81,0.05,0.83,0.12,0.7112,1,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,1,0,7,2,0,1,0,13,13,9,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,2,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,7,2,10,10,3,6,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,3,41,12,1,0.26592227371651883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034298115318661,0.0,0.0,0.1859390367834227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982544418029699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747687942536659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13445829166138878,0.18997492547686373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363639352696681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299161906850113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953796982136899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829600481487189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997874080595413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21190562307922464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20471995809381266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17039225552674642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805437682570261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883813623608287,0.19359458238462002,0.0,0.0,0.18890355356545055,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,carnimirie,2019/01/07,money Have spent over $7000 in the last few months and my account is overdrawn. Just opened another credit card to get by. Somebody take my cards away from me lol.,3.0377083333333315,5.3122831875,2.9512500000000017,92.90208333333337,76.5,5.5166666666666675,23.166666666666664,6.42735559955562,0.4775291666666664,130,4,26,1,3,39,31,32,0.0,0.843,0.157,0.6597,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,6,4,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,15,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.51647099015651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4627574133287986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573317488166493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40148572556706863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3931406183693644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3703286785289477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,un0m,2019/01/07,"I'm trying to create a new podcast: The Mental Health Podcast - I need your suggestions! The Mental Health Podcast is a podcast talking about anything and everything mental health. We're going to take deep dives into various mental health issues faced by people around the world, be sharing opinions and viewpoints of people who struggle from these mental health issues, or just talking about how we have been this week.

Before I write my first episode (or second; the first would probably be an introduction), I would love to have suggestions on what I should talk about.

These can be suggestions for deep dives into factual issues (like 'what is depression?', your opinion or viewpoint, your story or anything else. I don't want to narrow the scope too much.

Please leave your suggestions as a comment!

https://twitter.com/the_MH_podcast",11.480785714285707,11.321107221428573,8.982857142857146,66.28214285714287,55.35714285714285,11.142857142857144,39.285714285714285,10.290406445055957,4.2717857142857145,681,27,95,11,7,199,86,140,0.034,0.88,0.086,0.8505,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,4,0,2,7,5,0,1,9,0,13,7,1,1,1,21,19,8,0,5,5,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,3,1,0,11,3,16,12,2,13,0,1,0,1,17,8,0,6,5,69,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17106841421576235,0.09252911618789933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884457429191624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952383374544809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682898279186743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934150541306225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17682353837603842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059071803499196565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5524196612208634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32546075365893024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11005802273874588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05078009700838356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381039435831236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5237380800718846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640825555480066,0.07707059247941102,0.0,0.10038642004799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14411856451108634,0.0,0.0,0.11409549882219233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206548072279013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866121904309456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815034960272768,0.2506304036206289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056880299530395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061306822778805135,0.0,0.08337483061247772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14767275309879713,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,magicalpussyjuice,2019/01/07,"My brother keeps asking me if I'm okay :/ I don't even know how to respond to that. I'm slipping. I quit my job I just lay on the couch all day and want to sleep all of the time, but I'm not depressed. I don't feel like leaving my house, I'm afraid to drive, idk what to do. I watch YouTube videos and dick off on Reddit all day hitting my weed pen. I feel like I'm losing my goddamn mind again. I'm getting scared. I live with my brother and he is getting concerned about me and my ex fiance texted me after not speaking for a year only for him to say that it was good to know I was still alive??? Lmaooo and then I think he blocked me what a fucking jabroni GOD I am so happy I am single",0.059692982456141415,1.781510671052633,1.7922631578947374,100.26150877192984,83.73684210526315,4.053333333333334,20.659649122807018,3.1291,-0.6336671929824562,530,16,131,0,15,173,91,152,0.166,0.696,0.138,-0.5589,1,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,7,10,1,2,4,1,8,3,2,1,3,24,26,10,0,2,5,3,2,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,5,6,0,2,5,1,0,1,4,5,0,0,2,5,23,5,16,23,4,12,0,2,1,2,10,3,2,1,10,76,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18160080430131628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25055488026945283,0.0,0.16731025868149804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830260759567125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19644081696024654,0.2775494846879242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795842346416011,0.2029788770434132,0.0,0.0,0.16293062318026713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20678646754354155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22414246308172545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19276662929138208,0.17266144010383028,0.0,0.0,0.2135132916803109,0.0,0.0,0.20568641314838726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898049002347647,0.0,0.17152940325820812,0.0,0.0,0.21731998328103136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19614066397611565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14773854348042506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20661251304640774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544781834490794,0.19448164568389825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943937919393912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15513109952669568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12446980199505618,0.0,0.0,0.1132707805502628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11457574981907187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250928879704918
bipolarreddit,4chanRedditcancer,2019/04/10,Looking for a psychologist again I had an unexpected emotional response after talking to the Behavioral Mental Health Receptionist. I immediately cried after getting off the phone. It was very strange. Going to my psychiatrist is a lot different. I don't get emotional about that.,6.822391304347825,10.510265152173917,8.006695652173919,54.04482608695656,71.3913043478261,11.50608695652174,39.63478260869565,10.793553405168565,6.334979130434784,231,14,29,9,5,78,39,46,0.107,0.82,0.073,-0.3597,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,4,0,7,6,1,5,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,3,24,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970467728065733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825342932985355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6083785555446535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825695272815966,0.0,0.15368752211343994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28744681513214737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227087063452979,0.0,0.0,0.2299038135625269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27252260129079386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21735562156017846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231271498078309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,vomitflavoredgum,2019/04/10,"Citalopram and menstruation question Details: I was put on 10mg of citalopram in the beginning of March. I had my last period on March 5th, then began spotting a few days after ovulation (I track my cycles). I am currently 10 days late, I took two HPTs at 3 days late, one came up faint but the next negative. My cycles are pretty regular, never exceeding more than a day or two since I was put on lamotrigine in September.
My psychiatrist told me to stop taking the citalopram on April 2nd as I began experiencing psychosis - yay for trial and error. Anyway, still no sight of my period. I also have my tubes tied, so it is not likely that I am pregnant.

Question: I know that SSRIs can cause disruptions to the menstrual cycle, but I'm wondering if anyone else here has gone through a similar situation and how long it took for your period to finally come back. 
I've tried looking this stuff up, but can't seem to find much of anything.",4.952436613665668,6.391011368715084,6.392290502793298,73.75755479157716,69.39106145251397,9.976966050709068,29.970348087666522,10.214889679676881,3.279114825956168,741,29,132,20,13,252,123,179,0.095,0.855,0.049,-0.8126,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,0,7,2,0,0,7,1,11,1,0,2,1,21,26,13,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,6,0,0,7,5,0,0,3,10,3,18,2,23,16,3,42,0,0,2,0,4,9,0,6,27,91,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898724418236376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529379722477993,0.1396403171591048,0.1121511268802524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479492466737968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587398915494197,0.0,0.14000246626847238,0.0,0.11739765272926793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3515707788552139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11384881669262252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492938010325562,0.12456222547876306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489879479823003,0.1110906470905088,0.3074713370791226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658207628435484,0.0,0.0,0.12060813435956692,0.11444526362669025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018532062402928,0.0,0.10511156626195166,0.0,0.14494088156429866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235039469213134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386510679608188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274008584170052,0.3053412818437206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12406894917328475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273654540621328,0.15319030160514513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883755572155077,0.11394054949079567,0.0,0.0,0.1560139752224406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246952734333596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13022637165372347,0.3028357963065249,0.09252872091900917,0.0,0.2662617211430812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14779551160215884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Quitemoose,2019/04/10,Any reason not to I've compiled a pro/con list for suicide vs. life. My suicide list is larger and more compelling than the life list. So any good reasons not to bite the bullet?,3.017500000000002,4.763005750000005,3.5122222222222237,91.255,74.83333333333334,4.800000000000002,25.88888888888889,3.1291,0.3894555555555561,141,5,28,0,3,44,28,36,0.20800000000000002,0.669,0.124,-0.6837,0,0,0,0,0,2,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,3,0,7,1,2,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,14,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3692986173323393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277459849109933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3835785020766882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5583549094262014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.594018202968231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lissyh13,2019/04/10,"Wondering if I could be bipolar So when I was diagnosed with depression a few years ago my doctor told me to watch for any mania because of my family history with bipolar. I hadn’t had any issues until this year. I’ve always been moody and could change at the drop of a hat. But I never considered that abnormal for me.
I had one experience a few weeks ago where I felt I could have been manic. I was at work and just in a great mood, nothing could shake me, overly peppy and talkative. I couldn’t focus very well, my mind was just jumping from thing to thing. My boyfriend who works with me pointed out that I wasn’t acting normal after I had already kind of noticed the elevated mood myself. I was trying not to fixate on it but once he pointed it out it started making me very anxious. 
Since then I’ve been keeping track of my moods with an app because my boyfriend also pointed out that it’s not the only time I’ve acted odd and I sometimes don’t notice it at all. 
I just started seeing a therapist and when I brought this up to her she told me the feeling has to last days to be mania. From what I’ve read hypomania doesn’t have to be long lasting. 
I’m just confused about whether I should be seeking a mood stabilizer because I have been struggling with mood swings. Any opinions would be very helpful for me!",4.937513873473918,5.4877263207547164,5.718091009988902,81.8310543840178,68.81132075471697,8.197558268590456,30.68257491675916,8.124751697461798,2.108711431742508,1045,40,205,13,17,342,142,265,0.07400000000000001,0.88,0.046,-0.7956,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,11,13,0,3,11,0,31,4,0,1,2,41,43,15,0,9,10,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,14,13,0,1,3,1,0,5,8,5,1,1,17,4,33,3,34,14,3,38,0,1,2,0,7,14,0,4,18,150,47,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19066267810533136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867756774193225,0.08600296279750998,0.08948529064821574,0.0,0.0,0.21940098896597404,0.0,0.0,0.1214942004323276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19667362094333696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376737796283128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434607912531118,0.0,0.0,0.06935703540678513,0.0,0.09262755946171684,0.1091549785268668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007592403420548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519874740268688,0.10138298847877893,0.0,0.05437751873999598,0.0,0.10325918301576384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856772907180906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208453062641483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11224807983431027,0.0,0.09559012062977464,0.0,0.11199061113194676,0.0,0.17532555962035015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517312755469612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178650922475946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108588864535163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294462522319161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537036570318398,0.10319144629109282,0.2448792982493217,0.0,0.1145309365076554,0.07287465261304378,0.08179211979506562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049917538628588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757318405123344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569870885404082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08896157521211373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636384609853826,0.0,0.15224050825156465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242842388447914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486696711126705,0.14289501761979956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06270981853340951,0.0,0.0,0.20552595637430093,0.0,0.07301537168499618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662053894934242,0.0,0.0,0.08626537489588375,0.0,0.09669504442982624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166269684247717,0.15658674376277787,0.0,0.0,0.07639622961985673,0.0,0.0,0.1385097245086737
bipolarreddit,brainoffthechain,2019/04/10,Depression sucks so bad! I have posted about my paralyzing none existent life. I have been fighting with a down hill slope for a very long time. I finally reached out and got an appointment with a therapist this Friday and I’m hoping she can at least help me figure something out to put me on a path to getting out of this god awful dark hole. I’m sorta anxious and worried I haven’t had a therapist in years and I worry so much about the possibility of medication changes. But I am at a point that something has got to change or I’m just not going to be able to dig my way out.,3.3086741363211942,4.591517327731093,4.9364145658263325,83.22116713352008,73.2016806722689,8.314098972922503,27.507936507936506,8.841846274778883,2.014074883286648,458,17,96,9,9,155,81,119,0.182,0.742,0.076,-0.9194,0,0,2,0,2,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,2,0,8,1,9,2,0,0,0,17,18,8,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,10,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,4,0,11,1,21,13,3,18,0,1,0,0,3,10,1,3,4,65,14,0,0.16935623815567266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913243437792552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14140538484519302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3583128882657925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14586627976335412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855214808320172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884816445153824,0.0,0.0962490529599086,0.0,0.27089930927975264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351591655946025,0.0,0.0,0.16820895741895464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962131946833646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987494143775187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17060859276194013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12449632142293175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600963858309103,0.19092371227814775,0.1621964617649794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702497958533023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260757412258854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3932712912593028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098752984395363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397366328985099,0.0,0.13442709896395375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3439789611890315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10905986480987667
bipolarreddit,ConvolutedThoughts,2019/04/10,"What the heck am I?... I was almost glad to receive my bipolar 2 diagnosis last November, my years of cycling moods and impulsive behavior finally explained in some way besides me just being hopeless and self-serving. However, I have more recently been diagnosed with ADHD as well. I was skeptical to start taking mood stabilizers for my bipolar symptoms and instead tried moreso to engage in more self-care and just a healthy lifestyle. At times this seemed effective but the cycles would still occur because of things going on in my life...

​

My therapist suggested I try medication for ADHD, believing maybe it would help overall since being able to focus and decreasing impulsiveness could understandably help with my mood cycles as well. Initially, it appeared to be true (I'm currently on 30mg of vyvanse, going into my second month). I can actually complete thought processes and am a calmer person than ever; I don't react as emotionally before and am able to process things infinitely better. Before, I had worried that a stimulant would just put me into hypomania or worse. Thankfully(?), it hasn't. However, I don't know what to make of this.

​

I don't really feel happy, though I'm not as horrendously depressed as I had been before, either. I haven't experienced any hypomania since I started this medication. I don't even like being social, and before the medication I was constantly surrounding myself with people, going out, and living! Sure, that environment may increase the likelihood of impulsive behaviors, but I was living, and happy. Right now I feel like I'm just chugging along, and focusing on myself. However, even that is kind of unsuccessful as by the time I'm home from class/internship/work I hardly have any energy once the vyvanse wears off and it's hard for me to clean/tidy or exercise or anything I really want to do. Sometimes I even lack the motivation to play videogames (something I enjoyed when I was younger, couldn't really do effectively till I started vyvanse, but then after a week or two I can't focus enough on it again). 

​

What's going on? Am I just depressed but also on a stimulant, getting me through the workday? Am I even bipolar? Will I get the motivation to be social again when my mood cycles the other way? It just seems like this has been going on for a long time, I'm pretty numb. My life seems meaningless in the sense that I get all of my priorities done (bills, work, internship, school) but am not really living and am shutting people out.

​

Any advice/shared experiences are appreciated... just feel so alone in my experience.",7.74068965517241,8.65578885562633,8.25623984186251,64.79713375796182,62.779193205944786,11.507167435390587,36.835859140493454,11.277492542979429,4.672235903067577,2105,97,326,59,29,699,231,471,0.1,0.7609999999999999,0.14,0.9576,4,1,1,0,0,1,90.0,0,0,0,6,24,25,1,0,17,0,45,13,1,8,4,73,76,35,0,7,19,0,5,3,0,5,12,0,1,1,20,21,0,0,14,2,1,9,10,5,2,3,12,6,45,16,56,52,8,58,0,3,0,0,8,21,1,11,29,242,65,4,0.12855223521411158,0.0,0.06272421884305268,0.0,0.15449480524202092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06436324711751451,0.06657067317808361,0.0,0.05140158802804083,0.0,0.27857258629186665,0.3124100730569378,0.13112989228436495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052893768110453036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03918212470390677,0.0,0.21877696769538954,0.07241717376355059,0.0,0.056847002680147626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739228640668535,0.06945964862411039,0.0,0.051319249713942784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11072185182047878,0.06523890636951518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06577678450339655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230198097902593,0.0,0.06641441157736483,0.0,0.16981507790783068,0.05814142825276215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12574875327935567,0.0,0.0,0.09749980903011178,0.04591887126145622,0.0,0.07041134504672192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10074485565229696,0.0,0.18264799439900664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684624480452245,0.1151575525195569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616585349919932,0.0,0.06447418671416931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693368541228348,0.035324473271142486,0.05239361466888832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080024547298256,0.09420619305209874,0.0,0.17027096832028304,0.05688234143078045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04290480761494269,0.0,0.06457399943368675,0.0,0.0,0.19425427889572144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0513045838440202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684519675059689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912193366153719,0.05612342664905004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06539191928777266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461525137789888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647077072925425,0.0,0.0634649118083616,0.0,0.0,0.05489145323768569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06505086255648522,0.0,0.175543690281943,0.1341080175290608,0.0,0.0,0.10633973739125724,0.0,0.0,0.1310428148360705,0.0,0.04948289558089783,0.06357072384944969,0.0,0.13648490060890747,0.0,0.05133099054984066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060579480168043764,0.06680749707960601,0.04832764117897147,0.0,0.0,0.059176813323828376,0.0,0.07462952662312353,0.08540439291895223,0.0,0.0631509592012581,0.0510280576679942,0.112439763214559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727852932004139,0.0,0.06278842721691852,0.06691370524798146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03791171950142471,0.10203878069894416,0.051558424468733474,0.0,0.11558389796029064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358755828560522,0.06527551746696167,0.0655028551039424,0.13697972932843588,0.0,0.3124100730569378,0.04139171236364899
bipolarreddit,weatherthestorms,2019/04/10,"Do you ever feel like you have nothing to say? I don't know if its the meds or what (I'm betting it's the meds) but I feel like I have nothing to offer in terms of conversation. It's like the words just can't be formed in my head, or I can't think of what to say. I don't know if anyone knows what this is or has had any similar experiences, but any advice or suggestions are welcome. TIA",1.2526245847176083,2.438777883720931,3.4711960132890383,92.05802325581396,78.30232558139534,6.774750830564784,21.588039867109647,7.447530270364453,0.4719621262458476,302,8,74,4,7,104,50,86,0.0,0.795,0.205,0.9571,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,12,1,1,0,1,18,19,8,0,2,9,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,7,0,0,0,6,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,4,8,4,7,17,2,4,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,7,5,48,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930933851529464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26875087712075896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13816719569259064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17874139413725335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932916695343285,0.0,0.0,0.19982597971731367,0.28233235106644705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20279560752972609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32578898331491496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2896135645187802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.438980273026216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3792069283661048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3142804517954134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12661472556345313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LIKES_ROCKY_IV,2019/04/10,Have any of you lost loved ones because your illness makes them uncomfortable? My sister hates talking about my bipolar because it makes her feel helpless which manifests as anger at me. We have grown apart and at times she has snapped at me to stop victimising myself which I don’t think is fair considering I’m trying my hardest to manage a disease that I have very little control over in terms of causation. Has this happened to anybody else? Does it infuriate you when somebody basically tells you to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get over it because your suffering makes them uncomfortable?,9.1575,9.504775305555556,8.037407407407407,69.49833333333333,59.83333333333333,10.533333333333337,41.14814814814815,10.125756701596842,4.35747037037037,495,25,79,9,6,152,79,108,0.252,0.7,0.048,-0.9754,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,6,2,2,2,6,2,0,1,0,7,3,0,4,0,10,18,4,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,3,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,5,0,1,1,1,19,1,16,17,1,15,0,3,0,1,15,9,0,0,4,54,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509506302754873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4059417486659075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489638678114361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942518420778349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18543165192803865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122372433046668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597278997796027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19629178338005246,0.0,0.0,0.21915438362867207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224772920854131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24231196365547744,0.0,0.2003411284407204,0.0,0.4445101627591824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15041602312128358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18558106203870456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17841511851776606,0.19401595763007815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14223263440642214,0.0,0.0,0.12943542337743502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15070647257690967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18315264446230875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,II_Gryphon_II,2019/04/10,"NY Islanders Goalie Robin Lehner Opens Up About His Addiction and Bipolar Diagnosis I posted this to the other subreddit, but it wasn’t a meme so no one read it. Anyway, I thought you all would find this article interesting. It’s always encouraging to see people be more open about their diagnosis... god knows I’m not volunteering. Typically when people discuss famous individuals with bipolar disorder, they are artists. Robin Lehner, by contrast, is an athlete... his professional career requires him to be at peak performance all of the time. It’s a wonder that he managed to succeed to the degree he did before receive professional health. Anyway... here is the article: https://theathletic.com/522117/2018/09/13/islanders-goalie-robin-lehner-opens-up-about-his-addiction-and-bipolar-diagnosis-i-could-not-stand-being-alone-in-my-brain/ 

Hopefully this doesn’t get removed, as I know the subreddit has a “no link” rule. I just figured people would find it interesting, helpful, perhaps empowering.",11.02431547619048,15.41762422916667,8.415873015873018,53.045000000000016,60.18055555555557,9.669841269841275,35.285714285714285,9.957137785484203,4.617479761904762,835,36,95,20,14,244,102,144,0.07,0.767,0.163,0.9408,1,1,0,0,0,0,56.0,0,1,2,3,8,5,0,0,9,0,11,4,0,0,2,21,19,5,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,10,4,0,1,8,2,0,2,5,0,0,1,3,1,10,5,13,12,3,9,0,0,1,0,12,4,0,2,2,68,20,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21938217363615506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674484646633954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712410966684219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246512844439055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606744017670441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23063938872918502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36786088643516623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514001083588323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21390955739976866,0.0,0.0,0.13488746465411788,0.0,0.0,0.199877519259341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22119335891361366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636597260329494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4185450914191529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19273305600176946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20129525621305064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603628609494894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597627144753766,0.11734512741339502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21823706063431894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2859113774621749,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rainywriter,2019/04/10,"Manic/Worried about looking crazy Today was the first day in a long time that I felt on top of the world. I could literally feel my elevation, quick speech, etc. My mom noticed. My boyfriend noticed too.

Ugh... Like, I really love him. I really, really do. And he has been so understanding so far. But like... I'm so scared he will notice these what feels like uncontrollable behavior... And like, not desire me anymore. Or check out and realize I'm not for him.

I hate it! Today, I truly hate my brain!! I hate that I can think, analyze, understand, love, give, hope... But my uncontrollable, trippy mood swings are... Weird. And difficult... Even for those close to me despite my efforts to suppress my inner crazy.

Tonight... I silently cried while holding his hand while watching a movie... Because I so deeply just want him. If he leaves, I'll be fine and all. But I genuine love who he his. And in complete honesty... I love who I am too... Until anxiety creeps in and I fear that those I love can't accept things about me that I have learned to accept about myself.",1.8552611940298505,4.507573338308461,2.998638059701495,88.48064365671647,84.27363184079601,6.136069651741294,22.80286069651741,7.492282038375204,1.1413696517412943,815,29,160,14,24,261,124,201,0.127,0.65,0.223,0.9776,0,0,0,0,0,0,62.0,0,0,0,3,12,24,3,4,4,0,12,7,2,0,1,34,32,19,0,5,8,1,4,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,12,9,0,2,10,0,1,0,3,10,0,1,3,7,32,13,15,26,2,21,0,0,2,5,18,10,0,3,15,103,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641061638750511,0.0,0.1120214625455709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06885659893369657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12609564801836473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184316489061467,0.0,0.0,0.0901857421422286,0.0,0.12407626690640113,0.07284692599844551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259751943741294,0.07460601486491147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271062940163796,0.11422734724454632,0.08069540194237802,0.10845495369995886,0.0,0.0,0.09607985508294901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10835716816495043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3345603893392662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121902569028179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11960352080464368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22073732519876946,0.0,0.0,0.09996202604904456,0.0948541363697292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5097335557245216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229206751659514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858016136393525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170864768316242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308811894587628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07504258733842706,0.07237729670421017,0.0,0.0,0.06586523606850019,0.0,0.21413713376924526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23518123124999635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06662405585004222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11471175083989085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AAAAAbirb,2019/04/10,"Can Abilify induce hypomania? TLDR: is it the Latuda or the Abilify making me temporarily hypomanic at night?

Long version: 
I've been on Latuda for 3 years, with a 6 week break at the end of a pregnancy (to avoid neonatal withdrawal). Latuda made me feel like shit, but I took it because it's the ""safest"" during pregnancy, according to 2 psychiatrists I talked to. It made me anxious, nauseous, and kind of caused a sundowning effect where I got depressed at night (I called it the ""Night Dreads"").

When I stopped taking it at the end of my pregnancy, I felt so much better, but I know I can't stay off medication. I started taking it again, but the side effects were so nasty that I couldn't deal with them with a newborn. 

My psychiatrist put me on Abilify, but I have to cross titrate. I can't just stop the Latuda. I'm down to 15 mg of Latuda a day, and I'm taking 2.5 mg of Abilify. 

I feel muuuuuch better during the day... more like my old self. However, my Night Dreads have gotten a lot more agitated and started feeling like a mild mixed state. So now I'm wondering which to blame - Latuda, or Abilify? The nausea accompanying it sure feels like Latuda. 

I've been down to 15 mg of Latuda for about a week. I'm debating dropping it completely tomorrow and taking the full 5 mg of Abilify. I'm worried about mania... I have a 5 week old to think about. Can I get some opinions? I'm loathe to give up the Abilify, since I feel so much better during the day now. I have a psychiatrist appointment soon, but in the meantime, I'd like to hear what you guys think.",3.627867965367965,5.164922133116888,5.390974025974028,79.2695562770563,72.79870129870129,8.8995670995671,27.768398268398272,9.408791572840183,2.4922917748917754,1219,46,239,29,24,417,147,308,0.122,0.768,0.11,-0.6946,1,1,0,0,0,0,53.0,0,1,1,5,14,15,1,3,24,0,13,2,1,7,1,40,44,16,0,1,8,0,6,5,0,0,1,1,0,3,12,7,0,3,13,0,0,3,3,5,0,0,9,7,27,10,36,34,8,47,0,1,0,0,10,14,1,6,31,141,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144383065063072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060134726946805925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617376425919679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10073033894919564,0.0,0.0,0.10133836948164922,0.0,0.0,0.1034302445824967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908588314701208,0.10170145494411792,0.08496512601836162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17474517751092974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493962250089896,0.2114218260913664,0.094717269336169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05153935569453007,0.09463187002022627,0.0,0.0,0.0788975834188096,0.0,0.0,0.09767673990873163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118313597841227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272640716213496,0.054214200244431736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24097143526102136,0.0,0.0,0.08730011697640036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386675333833646,0.0,0.1866856922930176,0.06584811084460064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937718715628302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450348312945637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3702967640684477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20702834962146266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09916819283211936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10291107330740837,0.0,0.1012604542605088,0.08160240313589602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13964671037284246,0.10514533082177813,0.0,0.16494780143513227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09297429697888557,0.0,0.29668319706928953,0.07928929067168597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264189356388816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10960123287946327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23738772213077544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697923087831883,0.0,0.1001815355560801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352588941151988
bipolarreddit,ntkx451,2019/04/10,"I feel like I hit a wall of bricks full speed the other day and I can’t stop sleeping or get out of bed 
I’d been in mixed episode since November/December and I had my meds increased last week and the last few days I’ve been sleeping 18 hours a day, and then barely moving for the other six and not eating at all. 

My sister just had a baby. I went to the hospital and saw my niece and she was beautiful so that was nice and enjoyable, but it makes me sad that I kinda feel like I’m incapable of feeling the happiness I should for this wonderful event. 

I haven’t spoke to my dad in years. My aunts on his side haven’t really talked to us either. Out of the blue they call and say my dad is in the ICU Burn Unit and on a ventilator. It’s horrible but I can’t say I care much and felt slightly annoyed.

Feeling a little stressed out and like my brain is just made of sand. 

I’m having self-harmy and suicidal thoughts. Before they were frantic feeling thoughts, now it just feel like my head is stuck underwater and I’m failing in every capacity to do anything. Everything is feeling black. 

How do you guys get moving everyday? I haven’t felt this low-functioning in a long time. It all just seems so hard right now.",2.262858181818181,4.080065584000002,3.615418181818182,89.3817090909091,77.16,7.2654545454545465,24.163636363636364,8.150884317080207,1.2934,956,32,207,17,22,313,142,250,0.142,0.706,0.151,-0.3702,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,1,2,1,9,13,1,2,13,0,20,5,4,3,2,47,46,21,1,1,9,4,11,4,0,1,0,3,1,1,10,17,1,1,13,0,0,4,6,5,0,1,16,17,26,8,22,28,7,37,0,2,3,0,16,16,0,4,21,126,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09482844087277806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805634712063543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12864017316580534,0.11766763854066525,0.0,0.1174895822785811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22295078352756065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791399256665674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709030860614967,0.0,0.1035656287323774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4078633232991615,0.2469713422157104,0.22128700306326465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204108779886354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141005921880995,0.0,0.12266961210826295,0.10322776718564458,0.0,0.1182641738784879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11348308859138928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878635222344056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22519165557237,0.1154955661480148,0.0,0.10197919232772423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903797599910718,0.07692013931727171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279999107741735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449527606555307,0.08471085416074324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738223785156792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098409909403714,0.0,0.18327871323492226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490545514882536,0.12021505240715495,0.0,0.0,0.09532343657740604,0.0,0.2306360888769316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09634147209181787,0.1320011006690143,0.0,0.0,0.12604819324199534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262138589255872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829671555755853,0.06719435211772341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386133038528546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243442433553274,0.0,0.0,0.10682383561997336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496725020152345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420744803627691
bipolarreddit,colouredcats,2019/04/10,"I feel so lost I feel hurt and lost and alone. I'm overall not okay right now and I don't have anyone to talk to right now.

I don't need any replies I just wanted someone to know.",-0.3369512195121942,1.2467610975609773,1.3587195121951223,103.57759146341465,84.36585365853658,4.1000000000000005,17.567073170731707,3.1291,-1.1631512195121956,139,3,37,0,4,45,26,41,0.309,0.691,0.0,-0.8889,0,1,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,10,11,4,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,2,5,1,3,9,0,4,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725511336570461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789556826964069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18400538890375756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26612002166394444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817148517089315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14462412315003514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5745335783273584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195127470550127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4494690257372773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229719458554475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21151550860991655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552167288643708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Subby13,2019/04/10,"Lamotrigine Brand Teva has discontinued their version of Lamictal. I'm currently paying out the nose for the brand because my experiences trying anything other than Teva or Brand were pretty disastrous, but this was a few years back. Has anybody had issues being switched to other generics? What brands and what are your experiences? Thanks.",7.804107142857141,11.061726910714288,7.320857142857148,62.524142857142884,65.60714285714286,9.48,34.41428571428571,9.888512548439397,4.383532857142858,281,13,35,7,5,88,48,56,0.040999999999999995,0.853,0.106,0.594,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,7,1,1,0,0,4,9,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,3,1,5,5,2,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,28,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696244625423692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25193928965849305,0.0,0.1997297544107312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6410006552665862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34197694603144707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333334289166542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.301652104915062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224498972191208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21099306399295228
bipolarreddit,Useful_Pineapple,2019/04/10,"Crying in my car right now I wrote out a long post about how freaked out I am to feel like I’m re-accepting my diagnosis all over again and then deleted it. But I just would rather say I don’t want to feel so alone so here I am, posting anyways.",4.229444444444447,3.3527089814814843,5.196666666666669,89.86500000000002,70.29629629629629,8.681481481481484,29.11111111111111,7.793537801064563,1.3857111111111116,191,6,48,2,3,63,43,54,0.153,0.773,0.073,-0.6269,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,1,13,9,6,0,3,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,3,7,1,7,7,1,12,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,5,33,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31636647315168503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3355356250791016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089014951403985,0.21822208877520874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14923328658157145,0.0,0.0,0.27032422662942984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5850962498205015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26086284902845835,0.0,0.2429156148523355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18016938115822384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169914157494039,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LambofgodQueen,2019/04/10,Game of thrones? I'm looking for something to binge while I'm manic or depressed is game of thrones worth it?? I hope this is appropriate sorry if its not,2.4247311827957034,4.665642225806452,3.2851612903225837,89.91440860215056,78.35483870967741,5.423655913978496,29.68817204301075,6.42735559955562,1.3501526881720434,123,6,25,1,3,39,24,31,0.136,0.7070000000000001,0.157,0.1877,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,6,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,4,6,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,3,1,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4163597001294493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4801344847052048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4059420411835535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3721520770625129,0.0,0.5411371059563095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Awarenessokay,2019/04/10,"What stability means Stability does not mean that you will have the life you always dreamed of having, it only means it will be easier to work towards it.

​

I would say I am the most stable I have ever been. I go to work every day, I am keeping up with working out--and not in an obsessive way. I am eating healthy and taking care of myself. I am working towards attainable goals and have reasonable hope for the future.

​

But I still have to sit in my room sometimes with the lights off and calming music and candles and tell myself everything is okay. I still cry sometimes. I still have to go to therapy every week. I still have to take my meds. I still have to take active steps to work towards the life I want.

​

I think a lot of us think that taking meds will be a miracle that gives us the life we've always wanted. That's not true. A lot of us have residual PTSD from the disorder itself, anxiety, all kinds of trauma--and many of us has trauma outside of the disorder. I think being to the point of suicide causes trauma and so does the destruction of mania. And we still have to deal with those things when we are stable. We might not ever be totally unblemished because this disease does scar us in many ways. But being stable can give us time to heal those scars.

​

I am stable, but I still have to work on myself. I still have existential anguish and crippling anxiety. I still have days where I spend too much money, and days where I want to lay in bed. It is quite possible that I am still cycling, but the steep, rocky mountains have turned into hills and the depths are shallow. In fact, if anything stability has given me the ability to move forward, climbing through the mountains and valley at a steady pace, without the force of gravity dragging me down before projecting me into the sky.

​

If you're looking for perfection, meds won't give you that. But if you're looking for a life that builds on itself in a steady and consistent way--keep up with the meds, keep up with the therapy, keep working--and eventually you will find a pace that allows progress without destruction.

​

It's taken me two years of trial and error to get here, and I very well might have an episode again. But what happens when an athlete sustains an injury? They may feel despair, but they rehabilitate and work towards returning to their sport. They know how good it feels to be active, and they aren't willing to give that up. Now that I know stability, I will never lose sight of it.",6.484682958107723,6.856942365702484,6.497891137076093,78.20202479338845,65.42561983471074,9.237845540039897,32.39213451125677,9.035553425615538,2.705200427472214,2011,76,368,31,29,639,216,484,0.08199999999999999,0.8140000000000001,0.10300000000000001,0.6707,0,0,0,0,0,1,79.0,9,4,5,14,23,17,2,2,29,1,47,6,0,4,8,79,82,30,1,8,16,0,2,0,0,11,5,1,2,0,25,26,1,3,12,2,2,6,9,8,1,1,3,7,52,9,63,62,6,61,0,2,3,0,25,28,0,10,26,277,77,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07704365398540121,0.3009689790767127,0.3375268973620935,0.0,0.0,0.0708323439426813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03809751131564287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028221499291955682,0.0,0.03939432895465229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04720166913145272,0.04755855506094075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050853779200150204,0.08957091269346155,0.04772895271038954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611803038251556,0.0,0.12154133979836695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0473721767935383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375443081089548,0.07801244218966953,0.0,0.041607693601509566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04681711047750231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042313536445744135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02418765269405268,0.1776446581446803,0.05262195742125986,0.038830733366083066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04093923655708566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0459821905928868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16459939113736266,0.0,0.04820996742125108,0.05088593867452293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308004138463515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775364987094546,0.05179317528645768,0.0,0.07871809319264565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387338055506934,0.0,0.15128914476696753,0.20569685652272365,0.0,0.0,0.09822508788833682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04920512498666926,0.034032751094963176,0.0,0.03570618678977144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03521005368913762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043764509568737835,0.052191575653188126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0541173306073325,0.0,0.0,0.04924129821393265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047599808664125734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0368162904879539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157549018404673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3697189788468187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0506401078005257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923476601851986,0.0,0.04046458312464672,0.0,0.10588659898406304,0.0,0.030756882538988436,0.08899346726339437,0.0,0.0,0.026995462190364115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05035655284571162,0.04522428448267881,0.0,0.33412899316466843,0.0,0.0,0.03819889609531276,0.08191941400459067,0.11024238982732397,0.037135710496415,0.0,0.041625497839868006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925502771818393,0.0,0.2359273343261047,0.0,0.0,0.03288721888248602,0.0,0.3375268973620935,0.02981298717185392
bipolarreddit,whatiscalm,2019/03/09,"Lithium and no appetite? Can barely bring myself to eat or do anything. 900mg every night It feels like it helps with painful feelings at night after I take it.

In the day I feel so numb.  Food is hard.  Doing is hard.  It's like I'm depressed but without the sharp edges.

I was, apparently, manic for the last few months, and ended up in the hospital.  I'm out now.  I don't feel well.

I ate hot food I can usually never eat, and couldn't even taste the heat.

Then I was in pain from acid reflux after.  

I was supposed to taper off olanzapine but had to wait too long to see the psychiatrist, since I flew home.  I couldn't stand the akathasia so I stopped it myself, secretly.  Maybe I'm experiencing withdrawal still but I was only on it for a month.  It's been maybe three days without it. 
",0.7962763157894734,3.176136575000001,2.6654605263157904,90.9513815789474,86.375,5.368421052631579,20.296052631578945,6.8360192770164,0.3838124999999999,612,19,130,8,19,203,100,160,0.132,0.825,0.043,-0.9121,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,0,8,0,15,9,0,0,1,21,28,10,0,2,6,0,8,2,0,0,3,0,1,0,8,5,6,2,5,0,0,2,7,4,1,1,8,12,14,3,20,18,1,28,0,1,1,0,2,8,0,1,19,84,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468278313975235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17975350097363013,0.0,0.1200320054211676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28520356792128104,0.0,0.0,0.12343307823601625,0.0,0.0,0.09204707118283,0.0,0.11741822078240086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2818617984590853,0.09956000759679448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3370333782396516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24968137257544065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934111923191523,0.0,0.13979112166130098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359836448847023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13617014876125388,0.0,0.0,0.12333069584237777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800150655954679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224743168523191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748431419659386,0.0,0.0,0.2615629804544708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10599083278997297,0.2965812932686917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110532107888124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528141667760752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11129441270440874,0.11651259948577465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10478263491098216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15348719480368264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12530288139565998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686793607889594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Bootstrapbill22,2019/03/09,"Overly ambitious while manic What's are some overly ambitious things you've roped yourself into while manic that you regretted doing later? 

I recently booked 2 weekends worth of studio time and convinced myself I was going to record an entire album by myself, playing every instrument. Woke up today and had to cancel cause I felt like shit and realized I was in over my head",6.634264705882355,8.569458602941179,7.066941176470588,68.61923529411766,65.91176470588235,8.969411764705884,28.30588235294117,9.3871,2.99392,307,10,42,6,5,100,55,68,0.109,0.691,0.201,0.7096,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,2,0,5,1,0,1,0,5,2,2,1,0,9,8,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,0,2,3,1,1,0,2,0,0,5,1,8,3,10,3,1,14,0,1,0,0,1,6,1,1,8,33,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3629592649295921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29768922369741824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33924475625808737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008011698452868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3626105490705342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17261539821243568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3488630843492107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3626801993442999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23473159484286954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20602503798725244,0.0,0.3349081681982249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Sbananas2,2019/03/09,"How do you experience ""vivid dreams""? I often see ""vivid dreams"" listed as a symptom of bipolar. I definitely experience this, and i'm interested to hear about how you guys experience it. 

Personally, I seem to have weird dreams that I remember when I wake up nearly every night, and I didn't think this was abnormal until my friends started talking about how they never remember their dreams. Something that seems concerning to me though is sometimes when i'm on my phone or reddit or whatever and winding down to sleep, i'll get like a few seconds of a flashback to a dream and a really intense feeling of dread, as well as a sense that all these dreams take place in the same setting and are connected. They're not even nightmares, so i don't know why i feel dread when thinking about them. I won't remember these dreams all day until these pre-sleep flashbacks. Does anyone else get something similar? I thought it was maybe a manic thing, as this happened most often leading up to and during my last manic epsiode. However now i've fallen into depression and I still get these weird flashbacks. 

So, do you guys experience this? Do you notice your dreams fluctuate with your mood? ",8.032484848484849,7.922156854545456,7.704545454545452,72.47848484848488,62.27272727272727,10.787878787878787,36.51515151515152,10.317481424215053,3.7671515151515145,948,40,165,19,12,301,128,220,0.07,0.772,0.159,0.9519,1,0,2,0,0,0,25.0,0,6,3,1,18,10,0,2,8,0,11,4,2,4,3,34,29,24,0,0,3,0,2,1,1,1,2,1,0,3,14,9,0,0,11,8,0,2,5,5,1,1,4,6,24,4,26,24,5,23,0,1,3,0,16,8,0,7,13,115,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387150835548272,0.12290248020808853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773575310645481,0.0,0.1033123642968172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049686520584634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10020245030191853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922554086410842,0.0,0.1010626620624323,0.0,0.0,0.4693346722463154,0.0,0.0,0.1213001844865695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267271818528376,0.0,0.18800605403630535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375378089734265,0.1060709833747675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13519185089400032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592113103560758,0.09777488574298032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05860128707261252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050543671202595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925124810296121,0.0,0.0,0.11256451905663203,0.0,0.0,0.13656334797387726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473531293449574,0.12532174086853687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684274774364545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4076383431299333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955842546251562,0.21839511511326795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400723351711961,0.0,0.0,0.1846860344425542,0.11863316360704113,0.0,0.08490090282319702,0.0,0.09579185875611898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12467350143741412,0.09018712727426227,0.09641089781870256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968914544616902,0.1537176456363699,0.1178498154686229,0.0952265374264586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784904313451048,0.0,0.10823580421112013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,winningwriters,2019/03/09,"Supporting and promoting writing and poetry from the Bipolar community Hey there writers and poets of /r/BipolarReddit,

I'm from a writers' resource website called [Winning Writers](https://winningwriters.com/). Part of our mission is to find and promote voices and themes underrepresented in publishing, including (but of course not limited to) racial, cultural, national, religious, gender/sexual identity, body positive, neurodiverse, and [dis]abled. We are interested primarily in the representation of the voices/themes in the poetry, rather than the identity of the writer.  At this time of year we're offering two contests: 

[The Tom Howard/John H. Reid Fiction and Essay Contest]( https://winningwriters.com/our-contests/tom-howard-john-h-reid-fiction-essay-contest), with two first prizes of $2000 each, ten honorable mentions receiving $100 each, and the top twelve entries published online. The contest is international. The deadline is April 30.

[The Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest](https://winningwriters.com/our-contests/wergle-flomp-humor-poetry-contest-free), with a first prize of $1000, a second prize of $250, and ten honorable mentions of $100 each. The top twelve entries will be published online. The contest is international and the deadline is April 1.

Since I started doing outreach on Reddit last year we've received hundreds more entries featuring diverse characters and voices. We're working hard to increase the diversity of our entry pool and give good writers the exposure they deserve. I know /r/BipolarReddit isn't technically a ""writers' subreddit,"" but in the past some of our strongest entries have come from subs like this one, which ostensibly have nothing to do with writing. So, if you are a writer, please consider entering our contests. And if you know any writers, please consider passing this information on to them.",12.713453832752617,13.977227198606277,11.058586672473867,47.72669533972129,52.275261324041814,13.307404181184669,46.50892857142857,12.602617957971056,6.722756271777003,1534,82,182,44,16,478,160,287,0.004,0.838,0.158,0.9862,0,0,0,0,0,0,98.0,5,2,2,14,3,11,0,0,22,0,14,2,1,0,0,35,21,18,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,4,21,0,1,4,1,0,6,2,0,0,8,0,3,11,11,31,19,7,26,0,0,0,0,21,10,0,3,11,117,15,6,0.18303155081097644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12446773097077955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033067914414853,0.0,0.0,0.18689567753219066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576654743025684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16728752154510915,0.311373087236211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17558054155351005,0.0,0.1535181809471367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16396031846622633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20117870727426632,0.1491951428066132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941997044550329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17562370939135524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240269157232841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19820533323386794,0.17472432570074034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4018273588946087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15140559022669736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295506737222311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20770203483828809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672716917862186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35759045923561444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324914888564005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23573263559430985
bipolarreddit,completedisaster1989,2019/03/09,"Part of me wants to quit my meds and go “natural” Basically, I’m so tired of being in this depressive phase. It’s gone on so long it’s become soul crushing. 
At this point I’m begging for a manic phase to return, even if it is false happiness. My thinking is that if I get the meds out of my system and just give it enough time I will inevitably slip into a manic phase and finally feel some relief.

It’s not just the mania. I’m skeptical about the medication entirely. Im not sure if they work, I’ve read that they can cause potential brain damage. Not to mention when I was younger there were plenty of times I wasn’t on any medication, of course I was swinging between depression and mania the whole time. 

I don’t know.....I just feel aimless. I’m desperate for solutions and for a direction. I’ve been on meds for 6 years straight which is the longest streak I’ve ever had of being medicated and frankly I feel like I have deteriorated more over that time period. Is it the pills or is it the natural progression of my mental illness? I’ve also had some trauma in my life as well that has to play a factor.

Sorry for ranting. I’m just a mess.....",2.9553557714027576,4.574076399141632,4.790914840749945,82.55613508018975,74.70815450643778,8.167065733002032,25.997063474135985,8.841846274778883,1.9522669527897,903,32,184,19,19,308,130,233,0.127,0.779,0.095,-0.816,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,2,3,13,12,1,0,12,0,19,8,1,1,2,29,33,15,0,4,11,0,3,1,0,1,7,0,0,0,14,8,0,0,4,2,0,2,5,6,1,0,8,3,16,6,28,22,6,25,1,3,0,0,4,11,0,6,12,120,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530081490938298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08954382569523332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454251963776768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14699335702947958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526696539574626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.226823755301335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360559455285419,0.0,0.08697039709084492,0.11910798887519562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19973720148060772,0.09406897236156622,0.0,0.1442440262398283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879499126452293,0.12631509617567593,0.07483419633373098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14017097183207747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422320885328657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07236538722630194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300626896061197,0.06432997681242228,0.0,0.0,0.1165286353282972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4387852438581213,0.39794750808467705,0.13269788965249316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14259168760074611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12447586756600605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14005305613281796,0.13171108964771486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14739989301047254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410255934119922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08437231563868937,0.0,0.0,0.30712407012930193,0.15134156688870284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766559577766664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183920488894424,0.0,0.0,0.14701094466802833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09586130050571147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847946767716458
bipolarreddit,ironically-spiders,2019/03/09,"Meds while pregnant? I'm 28F and my SO and I are at the point where marriage is likely and then kids. It sort of hit me the other day, and I can't find a definitive answer anywhere online, do you have to completely come off all mental health medications when pregnant? Right now I take a handful (lamictal, cymbalta, ativan, and trazodone), BP2. I just know if I have to get off them... well, I'd likely be dead in a month, it's nasty. I don't believe I could do that. Does it just depend what ones you're on?",1.5230769230769212,3.5167805384615427,3.3294615384615405,89.71553846153847,80.15384615384616,6.083076923076924,21.93846153846154,7.1686216300943375,0.6495530769230773,392,12,84,5,10,131,77,104,0.08800000000000001,0.89,0.022000000000000002,-0.8095,0,0,0,0,1,1,20.0,0,1,1,0,7,3,0,0,5,0,10,3,1,1,1,16,16,10,1,2,3,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,1,11,3,8,13,1,15,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,3,8,57,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836024624287547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21683466068115406,0.2639238371279787,0.0,0.0,0.20097809445576395,0.0,0.0,0.16233870261929453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22028204049904726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23006769954475745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13151341344025047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675667981911184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13833883708862862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459555465194661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796043923464763,0.2535816159300663,0.25367475311413695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20092065950480484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17057211989594284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23795694909818285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149676726591055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18926226100013988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263266872695279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,uhohimout,2019/03/09,"I won't be able to take my Latuda for the weekend. How bad is this? So, I was going to refill my 80mg Latuda prescription today when I discovered I didn't in fact have any refills remaining. Normally, that's not a problem and my doctor's office will send a new scrip right over, but I realized this after they'd closed for the day. That means I'll miss three doses before I can get it refilled. How bad is this?",2.4575083056478384,3.94292581395349,4.294451827242527,86.15569767441862,75.74418604651162,7.239867109634551,22.75083056478405,7.957251820313856,1.1139388704318942,324,9,67,5,7,110,65,86,0.11900000000000001,0.86,0.021,-0.8239,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,10,2,0,2,1,11,15,6,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,2,1,0,2,3,4,0,1,2,0,10,0,7,9,0,12,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,6,44,16,1,0.27500482736386794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870127129247864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4592350877790336,0.0,0.0,0.2340088530240377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17735536306796112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814790937592172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14367867189195022,0.0,0.15629158087961972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29956087742695875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26560137593156946,0.0,0.0,0.2694463417630997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631424795740355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348526199678949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067694054045835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606724208704941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pickleb1tch,2019/03/09,"Hypomania and False Hope r/Bipolar: “Is there anyone present who is making their first post or has been diagnosed in the last 30 days? If so, please introduce yourself.” 

Me: *stands up* Hey everyone, I’m pickleb1tch, and I have been diagnosed with bipolar 2. I’ve been trying to manage, but it’s getting hard. I’m on meds, but they’re being adjusted and that’s a process. 

I used to love my hypomania. With the small caveat of mild insomnia, loss of appetite, and wanting to do everything at once thus getting nothing done, it’s a pretty good time. The world seems beautiful and I feel euphoric. I become more creative and productive. Being around people makes me happy and I seek company. Conversations become more meaningful and memorable. 

Lately, I feel as if being hypomanic contributed to me doing things “normal” me wouldn’t do. Hypomania let me feel capable and as if I mattered a bit more than I did. Think very mild delusions. Among the things I wouldn’t normally do: A friend (A) had confided in me about troubles regarding her friend (B). I hadn’t been present in either of their lives for almost 2 years for various reasons. So I went ahead and made a long but gentle text to B about maybe considering talking to a professional about problems A mentioned - without telling A that I texted B. A texted me, clearly upset, and I hadn’t grasped the gravity or the sensitivity of the topic. It was something between the two of them and I had breached their trust. I was way out of line. I had been absent for 2 years and thought I could butt in and fix things like a glowing ethereal fairy whose words of wisdom would magically make all things well. I thought I had a connection with them that had clearly been far weaker than I perceived, but thought I was doing a good thing. Writing that text felt like I was genuinely helping, like it would change things: more so than I normally would and looking back at the text I sent to B makes my insides curdle. Like Reggae says, “it wasn’t me”.

You might think “ok, it’s just one text to your friends what’s the big deal?” For me, a lot was at stake. I hadn’t been there for a long while and was still testing the waters. I had no friends when I came back, and I desperately needed friends. It felt like I kinda had to make good impressions else I’d lose them forever. 

I know this is super mild compared to the severity of others’ mania, but for me it’s new and scary. When I realized what I had done with some semblance of sanity, I just sobbed and screamed in the car for this to “go away, leave me alone, make it stop.”

So please, if you’ve made it this far, a bit of advice about grounding yourself during mania would be greatly appreciated. ",3.7678433268858815,5.8033036421663455,4.489985493230176,83.79965909090909,73.50676982591875,7.794777562862669,28.384429400386853,8.575989854853784,2.1636038684719527,2121,86,408,40,44,679,251,517,0.087,0.6859999999999999,0.22699999999999998,0.9981,0,1,1,0,0,0,67.0,0,2,6,5,19,30,0,1,29,1,51,7,1,11,3,96,85,39,0,18,15,0,6,5,5,7,4,2,0,0,28,26,1,1,19,0,0,5,8,7,1,3,38,10,55,23,58,34,11,48,0,3,2,2,27,20,2,13,25,279,83,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390066080511813,0.0,0.0,0.07572831898753273,0.07832552581507145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05287932082802742,0.0,0.0,0.06732299952272426,0.0,0.0,0.07105293268843961,0.11630315097139067,0.0,0.0,0.16704551869688564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16512758299889851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649577329599042,0.0,0.0,0.08000207343745841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06038105109026985,0.0,0.0,0.0487723874750004,0.07796688362438724,0.0,0.15351719912229342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15478290925107602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317565548972565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226369698233089,0.06796759661985849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11471603702614674,0.0,0.1452252638786844,0.0,0.0,0.06432727059406007,0.0,0.0,0.2921415444297685,0.0,0.07902272292405849,0.0,0.04297988744112696,0.19029401008063526,0.0,0.08337771633986836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08050507504602618,0.06774586632571779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05069038256962602,0.0,0.0,0.07511348770847016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04156196431574557,0.061645124232331726,0.08530920139785121,0.08007680736154647,0.0,0.07733250880987723,0.0,0.1847347401285554,0.0,0.06677897081923154,0.13385291418759718,0.06350662885527497,0.0846059307984296,0.0,0.0642943545013999,0.0682552411047148,0.14311792936832213,0.30288487010894977,0.0,0.07597628532455288,0.0,0.08400322007756131,0.0,0.0,0.08022702742771604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05607557571576608,0.0,0.07303987314927646,0.0,0.0,0.222291694316944,0.07256499896652888,0.0,0.0,0.08053901353285882,0.0512460022765291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052429410598133636,0.0,0.0,0.16602884646932295,0.0,0.0,0.07242861571751394,0.07693863104808922,0.0,0.07236368132831324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777559223890354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06014067506096993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06884689202440902,0.0,0.08543563294908578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582204389740508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06039486508825586,0.06322655878255602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06078515692677505,0.06610028639287371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3014545443035791,0.09691592365410548,0.0,0.1801153236414887,0.04409801471559435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05134495698331742,0.0,0.07387542204523732,0.0,0.0,0.06531641360418405,0.0,0.06239920880968777,0.04460605883553228,0.0600282434458299,0.0,0.0,0.06799668045474874,0.07010587834663119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290057673400717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21488960655802425,0.0,0.0,0.0974010770958026
bipolarreddit,ANNAGRAM_,2019/03/09,"Any mothers feel like extreme shit and guilty ALL the time!? I have a 2 year old and a 9 month old and some days it's hard for me to even get up and do my dishes. I'm irritable with them and angry. I try not to yell at them, so I end up walking away screaming into a pillow from the stress. I feel like a failure as a mother and like I can't do this. My thoughts are constant, ""How can I be a mother when I'm ""not normal."" ""What if they have bipolar too?""

I want to protect them from this pain and I can't even help myself. I feel so guilty. Like I'm a bad mom. Or I don't do enough.

I'm on meds. I see a therapist. Nothing works. I'm cycling through mania lately and now that the mania is ending I feel the depression coming on FULL FORCE. This time of year is always bad for me. How do you cope? I lost my passion for every artistic thing that helps me like producing music and drawing. I can't stop thinking negatively, even with nightly meditation.

(oh and side note. I recently, in November, got the Nexplanon birth control implant in my arm and I've had my period for over TWO MONTHS. as If I wasn't already an emotional mess.. I feel like a 15 year old again going through crazy ass hormones I can't control) HELP!!!!!!! :'(",0.8244050480769225,2.8302521015625004,2.8617187500000014,92.08256009615386,82.671875,5.500961538461539,22.73677884615385,6.67199483983844,0.5421753605769228,942,33,208,10,26,317,144,256,0.201,0.69,0.109,-0.9790000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,1,4,5,11,16,1,1,15,0,18,7,3,5,1,37,37,21,0,4,5,4,6,6,0,0,2,2,1,0,8,15,1,4,7,1,0,3,9,9,0,1,5,9,32,7,26,31,4,38,0,2,1,2,12,12,2,4,29,132,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884348986042274,0.0,0.08961039928736797,0.0,0.0,0.07323591055344157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118246918970687,0.0,0.17984071395784554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276922205723827,0.0,0.11637942787318285,0.2415769383778193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945400290001806,0.0,0.09275706128071193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114174700152475,0.19077061258506625,0.11127714255705108,0.0,0.21339348099178235,0.0,0.09073720848343524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722677174790253,0.2308107831747208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056265898711111206,0.0,0.06120523069551575,0.0,0.08613307980614378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647306272760234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21655593422395625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148401642879662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156843740700476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756120039985732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196242421773664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261304236934178,0.17192134522161304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106393424675064,0.10551768313339632,0.10333571739223256,0.0,0.33902158825491546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11459447460662622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633526475564901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581852350474115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054679256433897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003737205386361,0.12336361438538702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12504154257743802,0.07154739897657715,0.06900624708991772,0.0,0.08549735385242895,0.12559498521624934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07311745386769385,0.0,0.10520181690100723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352096955084338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784028331921783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20805506070041024
bipolarreddit,Jord_Anstead,2019/03/09,"I feel very alone and I don’t know what to do anymore :-( I feel bad for dumping such negative thoughts on the internet, but I have no where else to turn to. I feel that it’s impossible to talk to my friends, family, or boyfriend about any of this, I just can’t handle telling them that I’ve been feeling this way. I’m 18 and I was diagnosed with depression at 12 and later rediagnosed as bipolar 1 at 14. This is the worst depressive episode I’ve ever had, and it’s lasted almost 3 months. It feels like it’s at its worst right now, I don’t know how much worse it could get. I get absolutely no happiness or satisfaction from anything, and I don’t think I’ve felt a single positive emotion for about 2 weeks. My parents won’t let me go back to therapy because they don’t believe I actually have bipolar. I go through my days feeling absolutely numb, and then at night I’m filled with self hatred and hopelessness and I cry for hours. I don’t know what to do and I’m really scared because I’ve been having thoughts of suicide  more and more frequently. I feel so desperately alone but it fills me with dread to talk to anyone who cares about me about this, hence me spilling this on the internet to strangers. I’m sorry for the dreary post, but I really had to let it out. ",4.958190154440158,5.209750540540544,5.848993725868727,81.95989985521237,68.6911196911197,9.718243243243244,31.63151544401544,9.673873057562805,2.701704440154441,1006,40,214,21,16,332,138,259,0.278,0.627,0.095,-0.9955,1,2,0,0,0,2,24.0,0,0,2,0,12,14,1,2,5,0,21,4,0,1,1,38,45,19,1,1,6,1,8,1,1,1,4,0,0,1,18,14,0,0,14,0,0,4,10,10,0,0,8,8,25,4,34,33,6,27,0,3,0,0,9,9,0,3,13,136,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.11374923347068193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11672158152531947,0.24144941731619535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926722727713803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559974358154085,0.08150396099573078,0.0,0.09592188932626992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963019316455187,0.09732571520754724,0.14211214529348307,0.0,0.0,0.13132723145310926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884433198090165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306652876551637,0.0,0.1280396123474991,0.07517386199718684,0.0,0.200792070516616,0.11830957370017332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737390874705004,0.1311183314272067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054384258366074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988576342783704,0.0,0.41256631657831744,0.08327304036896897,0.11191931039788794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005672792157388,0.0,0.1217993125880918,0.0,0.13249153032789385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12408409173500465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11479164018810074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19218087517688215,0.09501487012945753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383883031418034,0.0,0.056947074274879286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303993247635332,0.0,0.08568763867416054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938701772012656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12943005426718227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11163568249322464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14934722023497374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09954465507975152,0.0,0.0,0.11670047199164126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160122897961803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13048337759941084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12750163063585498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18737877044189932,0.10188170119454204,0.0,0.13330060518564646,0.0,0.0,0.0746892314205248,0.0,0.1850769145409608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678769615419705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617715585888643,0.0,0.0925227392455082,0.09350026784628596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878823994377816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Derpyjersey,2019/06/16,"BP1 - Has anyone ever dealt with akathisia from a neuroleptic? How did it resolve for you? Hey all, this is not my main reddit account but I use this to ask personal questions and do more private things.  I'm sorry if this is a long post but I would really appreciate any input you guys might have.  

I have been having akathesia for a few months now and have started to taper off of my antipsychotic (risperidone).  (I also take lithium, gabapentin, lexapro, and ativan).  I swung into a manic episode (diagnosed by my doctor) at the start of the new year and had to increase the Risperdal from 1.5mg to 3mg a day.  The manic episode lasted about 3 months (cycling between euphoric and dysphoric mania) until it setted into pretty intense hypomania before finally resting in the pleasant euthymic state I'm in now.  I didn't realize I was having akathisia at first because I assumed the constant urge to move was just from all of the energy and agitation from the mania but once my mood settled down I realized that the pacing was a side effect rather than a symptom. 

 So basically now my doctor is decreasing the Risperdal by .5mg every two weeks (dropping to 1.5mg this week hopefully).  This terrifies me because the risperdal actually works really well and emotionally I have been doing incredibly.  I just graduated law school and have my Juris Doctor now, am taking the bar this summer, and start the job I wanted in September. I'm in the best physical shape of my life and only getting stronger.  My life is going great besides this damn constant urge to pace and inability to sit still unless i'm really focused.  I worry that without the risperidone I could be prone to a resurgence of the mania or mixed states.  I also worry that that akathesia wont stop and i'll have to deal with it long term.   I spent 3 hours pacing today before taking half an ativan to try and relax.  

Has anyone else had an experience with akathisia?  If so, how long did it take to stop upon decreasing the medication that was causing it? Did you have to come off it entirely or was it possible for you to maintain a lower dose?  Any input is appreciated.",6.914755639097747,7.427297320802008,7.42557957393484,71.43581296992484,64.51378446115288,9.858020050125313,34.670112781954884,9.725611199111238,3.4613165413533835,1697,72,285,32,24,559,210,399,0.064,0.789,0.14800000000000002,0.9897,2,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,4,0,5,17,9,1,0,28,0,37,10,0,5,3,53,56,28,0,7,13,0,0,0,0,3,9,0,0,2,20,19,1,2,6,2,2,4,4,1,1,3,14,0,29,7,49,37,9,55,0,0,0,0,10,14,1,8,31,210,49,7,0.0,0.0,0.09431375976350394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15457751771670547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314468678588845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13515598765079334,0.09902651343082956,0.0,0.0,0.09035211824478312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783051473608648,0.0,0.1644793570458009,0.0,0.10142531040178372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09928333298246302,0.0,0.08325303516388292,0.0,0.20888265280699728,0.0,0.07716495283703574,0.0,0.0,0.06232947110562163,0.0996390554502288,0.0,0.09809490904883032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.296767620744214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073636328432636,0.10871513093760214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874229571556532,0.08142946379223842,0.0,0.0,0.09453954091500713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058723217897395,0.0,0.08220808866187126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05049419128505158,0.0,0.05492685084891,0.0,0.0,0.1065539177085056,0.0,0.0956959574404454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959925114219051,0.09517805830620876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590746775815348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878039580512754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13652960046316429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565892848141434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09736192139034228,0.0,0.10252744322817672,0.0,0.0,0.15428580171046333,0.10272071559439344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933425017454727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10292615097927504,0.0,0.07350457725785879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438863768599034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089552358732319,0.09256133530266393,0.0983249832351563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826702188391736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857440804761845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781216150196176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081886668819908,0.20522223097880726,0.0,0.07718260666193336,0.1616028319616388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045348266086593,0.2906667710917327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642081284157603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916102780520596,0.0,0.0,0.06561712842848776,0.0,0.09441030513719352,0.0,0.0,0.08347218016652544,0.0,0.0,0.05700504320708252,0.0,0.1550491643840529,0.0,0.08689747107120503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316448561093156,0.0,0.070360338094343,0.1962999168860692,0.0,0.06865542275187064,0.0,0.0,0.0622376505928799
bipolarreddit,er-i-ca,2019/06/16,"help okay, so I have felt with mental illness since I was 11 and been on medication for all types of things. I've probably been on maybe 23+ medications for a variety of reasons. it all started with ADHD and well now? now, I am 18 years old and diagnosed with everything to a sensory processing disorder to bipolar 2 to PTSD to ODD its just a lot. especially when you want to be a good kid, but sometimes you just can't help it. anyways it's June when I'm writing this, but back in October I was hospitalized and finally diagnose with bipolar 2. my dad has bipolar 1, so I was kinda predisposed to getting it. after learning I was bipolar (I kinda always knew but hearing it and being diagnosed is completely different) I honestly just kinda... well ignored it. when I say ignored it, I mean that I just thought i was misdiagnosed. I had always been in the more depressed side, never had I been manic. I mean sure I've always had impulsive risky behavior... but I'm a teenager... right? (sorry I go off on tangents a lot lol) leads talk medication for quick second. I've been taking Abilify on and off since I was 13. I've been probably taking 20 mg for about 8 months. I am on Wellbutrin 300 I believe and I've been on it for 6 months. I take Adderall 30 and klonopin 1 mg twice a day I just got put on this instead of Xanax because I needed something stronger for my panic attacks/anxiety. my mom gives me my medication every morning, as of the last month I've been abusing my Adderall and Xanax of what was Xanax lol. and I've been smoking a decent amount of weed lol. when I don't smoke I feel infuriated, but well get to that. and if we don't oops. now that we know a little medication history. lets get into it. so about three months ago (give or take) I stopped taking my medication and I've started to smoke heavily, I've stopped taking it before and id just start to get depressed. but this time? this time is different? I feel weird. I feel constantly enraged. I feel as if I did something wrong, even though I know I didn't. I feel like somethings gonna happen to me, its like a constant thing too. but I wouldn't call it paranoia. I've also had THE MOST energy. like I don't need to sleep kind of energy. I won't sleep for 2 or 3 days and then I'll crash for a day and the cycle repeats. I feel extremely confident in myself. I feel even when I'm doing ""wrong"" I still feel like I'm right. and there's no real way to convince me I'm wrong, even by telling me the consequences. I feel like I can do anything and nothing can hurt me. I've been making extremely impulsive decisions. mostly involving sex and spending money (I'm a girl btw.) I just don't feel like me, I feel as if I'm in the corner of my mind just rocking and hitting my head if that makes sense. I feel like I'm going crazy but I low key am in love with whatever this feeling is. basically, I wrote this for background information because I have some questions.

1.) have you ever felt this way

2.)what did you tell your family/doctor

3.)have you ever struggled with controlling sexual impulses 

4.)does this seem like a manic episode 

5.)have you ever abused prescription drugs or weed 

6.) WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO",1.7732576553850448,4.110243873239437,3.715154742718333,85.41378179524912,81.31611893583722,7.007413636045128,26.125732838156644,8.11326742549577,1.8670722957980053,2501,106,498,51,67,844,283,639,0.151,0.7440000000000001,0.105,-0.9832,2,0,6,0,1,0,91.0,2,7,0,2,39,32,2,2,20,4,50,24,3,5,7,109,110,48,0,8,23,2,15,8,0,3,18,2,0,2,29,28,0,5,27,1,2,4,10,14,3,3,30,17,71,18,57,73,9,67,0,4,0,3,29,21,1,17,48,312,100,3,0.0,0.13218419429878006,0.0,0.0,0.06703866614042106,0.0,0.04944703965716759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04460854063670547,0.1392443269774389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0426727859264569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045903519612982516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04289262188998224,0.0,0.06800791450774582,0.0,0.04746604933922972,0.06284678280492874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05695926985461286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058485966331100925,0.12056022691632046,0.06256382902207706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792358885365888,0.0,0.0960892535773542,0.16985150756185674,0.0,0.11655983888313065,0.06393056817539106,0.05709485081303416,0.04881487077548901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06468896865789994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105296999692545,0.15137300408741616,0.04699841992880752,0.0,0.05013292242277356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3666632146373591,0.19925199913482036,0.1071182041138953,0.06110603713426755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05156920800003563,0.1165743747022727,0.10702162382372804,0.06340395923889426,0.046786975555660686,0.04461365653793119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04932750154383677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05724803418868344,0.0,0.06286993880434145,0.0,0.07477848690625262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059715376943787535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0580879723803372,0.0613122380781836,0.04546946463572274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057040484844675075,0.0,0.2180166516101333,0.0559078366900561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09484707556951404,0.05034508909280153,0.0,0.07446932779419617,0.0,0.056040133939846346,0.1215250722722903,0.0,0.3371646762837956,0.05621475207064933,0.0,0.056323533733546816,0.06533075810486116,0.17809742469487422,0.0,0.0,0.08272272750481488,0.043022223473586835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05352396795997242,0.0,0.05853342576158479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654477111864077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028403994693534,0.0,0.06520572764856539,0.05607593417677145,0.062488179609341214,0.0,0.0,0.06349169468037079,0.0,0.05735279484491545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527439584260836,0.0,0.0443597824143736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05078149101273828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09228626349300148,0.0,0.11164380782583308,0.0,0.0,0.12883024686736322,0.055169447616987256,0.06244295566812182,0.11844755130498667,0.0,0.04454727306510003,0.09327186259749824,0.0,0.058315059765786825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052573515848429966,0.0,0.2516450127064806,0.0448351524581608,0.09751118752634663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741176581937492,0.0,0.054805157541815024,0.04428437469389269,0.06505342135606093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03290144419398286,0.0885537056334837,0.0,0.0,0.15046312400789166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829653312044324,0.0,0.035921533824779694
bipolarreddit,doeyeknowu,2019/06/16,"For the first time since I was 9 I can say I am not depressed and I don’t know how to deal with it. Depression has been my thing for a majority of my life, nothing ever worked until we started treating it as bp2 with lamictal. It’s been a couple of months on 200 mg and the other day I realized that I’m not irritable, angry, or just constantly thinking about the end but now I feel trapped in this life that I’ve created by coasting for the last 17 years. I am realizing how toxic my household (my ex and our son) is, my goals seem bigger than I prepared for and I have literally no outside support as I had been slowly cutting people out of my life for years. Don’t get me wrong it’s an good feeling, I actually feel like a person rather than mental illness but I honestly think it was easier to feel the apathy that came from soul sucking depression. So much to do, to catch up on and it sucks",3.1260617760617784,4.367158351351353,5.063030888030892,82.29925675675678,73.5945945945946,8.312741312741313,27.808880308880312,8.841846274778883,2.1110231660231653,705,27,146,14,14,243,120,185,0.149,0.7020000000000001,0.149,-0.435,0,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,2,0,0,3,8,12,3,0,9,0,15,4,0,2,1,30,30,14,0,1,7,2,4,1,0,0,4,1,0,1,12,10,0,0,10,0,0,2,5,7,0,1,7,5,21,5,27,23,2,21,1,3,0,0,7,6,2,2,14,104,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.15333038379782085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17970802723254845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697952525904792,0.0,0.0,0.1738547460352428,0.0,0.10133199811464168,0.16198797133891651,0.4059920796363931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916525000457491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421276768843633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.317786514035524,0.1122494354485156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336496161049842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209081844167485,0.0,0.0,0.1317881781681113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08635125544843754,0.12807705211661755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3329440384617275,0.07676286237991037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15834406207234744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12541489836764055,0.0,0.11550423790789233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15076474044323418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10893001575133184,0.13719463879940888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495133183740935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303981195081528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12997461784226672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121319419608904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783024825090471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438622103089967,0.2013574627247934,0.0,0.0,0.09162028301998787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11438816214306795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717904565033724,0.0,0.2023654422432159
bipolarreddit,ohnoathiest,2019/06/16,"Manic episodes and different personalities, but not how you think. With me at least i am a totally different person between manic and depressive episodes. Ill either be groggy and everything feels weird and im numb and anxious. Or i have so much joy so much energy that i treat people completely different. Im never rude when im in a depressive state im just quiet because why speak? Theres no point? But when im manic i treat people with energy like with my family ill help them clean, ill usually go out and talk to them more to try to calm myself. And i really fear it makes me look fake or like i want something. I hate seeming like im kissing everyone's butt too.",1.139857978279032,3.7585158721804497,3.439035087719297,83.56685672514621,89.52631578947368,7.466833751044277,21.674603174603178,8.344100000000001,1.912377109440268,533,19,101,15,18,182,85,133,0.23399999999999999,0.4970000000000001,0.26899999999999996,0.7538,3,0,1,0,0,1,11.0,0,1,2,0,8,16,2,1,2,0,3,6,1,2,2,26,11,16,0,1,7,0,1,3,0,0,4,2,1,2,2,11,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,8,0,0,0,4,14,8,10,10,6,10,0,2,1,2,8,4,1,3,7,59,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12547245184731495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770452511488427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645011040240905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19132118163563125,0.0,0.0,0.34811956503169755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10612788747439714,0.09981854993858484,0.0,0.10470271086829334,0.12497961573412035,0.05615807649584858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06312110850250953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965423132151876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444489338400148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7198190826651417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627830448622277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932670848915863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413711345841154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16329190929231222,0.0,0.08566059496895373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539977283384268,0.19395629909345385,0.0,0.0,0.10499283920333037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115143186639815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110990047346972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855036824044422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927027766121184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07116631634937706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07540621424939875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12232300615465813,0.0,0.06550933581395925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021937886089156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,famousspouse,2019/06/16,"Does a psych hospital make anyone else manic? I was admitted to a psych hospital for sincere depression and suicidality 10 days ago. The thing is however that after only 24 hours I felt like someone spiked a ton of adrenaline in my veins and I switched to hypomania, which later turned into some mixed kind of episode because there's no euphoria (unfortunately).

Im currently not sure what to do, staying here cooks my brain with all the loud and annoying sounds (I have hyperacusis, at all times, not just when manic) and erratic patients who stress me out, but I cant imagine going home and having to deal with all the stressors that caused my suicide attempt. 

I'll discuss this with the doctor (again) on Monday as well, but I was just wondering if anyone else experienced this? That overstimulation in a psych hospital induces (hypo)mania? How do you deal with it?",9.2625,8.757654955414015,9.275214968152868,63.51817277070064,59.955414012738856,12.690764331210193,40.00716560509554,11.93303328291395,4.996363694267515,696,32,115,19,8,229,112,157,0.126,0.812,0.062,-0.9089,2,0,0,0,0,1,21.0,0,1,0,1,8,8,1,1,8,0,8,4,2,4,4,31,14,11,2,1,7,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,10,11,1,0,5,1,0,1,4,3,1,0,3,4,11,5,19,11,5,18,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,3,11,80,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14166810816355355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22349549384944595,0.3275027604488395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742294640144818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17840860205974046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16417605998534024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10306872946034742,0.3295285734891449,0.1376501289413238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16357944897496826,0.13985691440699688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670131556503465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15344936149775354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908276715626512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16030945958132758,0.0,0.1573875306193482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726297609360453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16642478925401671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807850276756423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066790737925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12154801337314985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13541240680619415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17034363418784454,0.0,0.0,0.1830698082966039,0.0,0.0,0.3496276691026427,0.0,0.15062561037815442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061752987703816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931905650669601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17383497942817802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436946564402758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17331469526993812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,witch-bitch-,2019/06/16,"I feel like I’m going crazy I’ve been having these intense manic episodes that lead me to not sitting still, then comes the compulsive behavior, and then a HARD crash to depression. Right now I’m so goddamn numb I cut myself and didn’t feel anything. I literally do not know what to do with myself.",2.5661581920903984,5.0086995423728835,3.645,86.44399717514126,79.0,6.6451977401129945,25.08757062146893,7.793537801064563,1.509980790960452,239,9,46,4,6,77,45,59,0.304,0.639,0.057999999999999996,-0.9448,0,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,1,0,2,0,5,1,0,1,0,10,12,5,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,2,3,6,1,4,10,0,9,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,29,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31727384822687066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.332116190807309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3320726549159041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3898901605670159,0.27543617162864464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191162933708276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3453760352634749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21188756202656966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883596906540934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32925660669738016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30789980534259936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Anonymythical,2019/06/16,Does Seroquel make you groggy throughout the day? I was just prescribed Seroquel and I'm hesitant to take it because of the fear of sedation throughout the day.,4.679540229885057,7.699149137931035,4.455862068965517,80.33367816091955,74.86206896551724,6.625287356321839,37.25287356321839,7.793537801064563,3.398508045977011,131,8,20,2,3,40,22,29,0.172,0.828,0.0,-0.6369,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,3,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,12,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705095460064781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5723718332002459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3883338763560657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4993488848039868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962105837067127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3336492947658874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BonkersinYonkers2019,2019/08/13,"Frustrated with my psychiatrist’s indifference to helping me I’ve had the same psychiatrist since 2014. He’s alright. There aren’t many in my area, so it might be difficult to switch, and I think it’s important for me right now to be working with someone who knows my history instead of starting new with someone else.

However, he doesn’t listen when I say I have issues with medication. The answer is always just more—higher and higher dosages of something that’s already not working. 

And this past month I’ve been trying to get into a TMS treatment program or one that uses ketamine treatments. last Monday morning (August 5), I sent emailed him a referral form I need him to send to set an appointment with their psychiatrist to see if I qualify for the treatment. 

I called the TMS place today to make the appointment, but they hadn’t gotten the form. I called my psychiatrist and he hadn’t signed or sent anything. 


I’ve been suffering for a long time and attempting to get into this program since last year. 

Having it delayed for another week because he doesn’t have the time to sign a fucking piece of paper is so frustrating. He didn’t even say he’d do it today, all he said was that he’d received it.",7.9496408045977,7.2780234181034515,7.971551724137932,72.34528735632183,62.66379310344828,11.009195402298849,37.86781609195402,10.317481424215053,3.8936540229885046,971,43,174,19,12,315,132,232,0.077,0.902,0.021,-0.9211,2,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,3,8,6,3,0,12,1,21,2,0,2,1,30,36,12,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,11,12,0,1,3,0,0,4,7,5,0,1,11,5,20,1,25,20,5,29,0,1,1,1,25,6,1,4,18,111,31,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16070280914123825,0.0,0.12117317415250145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15270241063403256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119838458708151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877275341060094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974025158013346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165251565201204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618513640105604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346296418145786,0.15216799830350894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976105829239998,0.15386272316738164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15199655750705174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08003268783292464,0.23741057793262102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12887514670047476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720702834042114,0.14764273112538076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467036931566617,0.0,0.15448703514365406,0.0,0.0,0.11623793259900965,0.0,0.0,0.10798043644465627,0.0,0.14064728323963951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868049719028844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901727081446774,0.0,0.0,0.15214902426647728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12436450242150195,0.13852444715698226,0.23161657310756575,0.0,0.0,0.116045715417501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409280087927669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467782517808056,0.11211063515929158,0.0,0.0,0.10307540762175534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331178147552192,0.0,0.0,0.16983233126196715,0.0,0.2760743816355895,0.0,0.0,0.09887104668159312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12577480940595148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681304513702412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21203610821951924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09377889286678627
bipolarreddit,whorax121,2019/08/13,Advice from people who have received ECT treatments? I have some legal stuff coming up and it’s around the same time I am going to begin my ECT treatments. I’m wondering how I should expect to feel in the moments/hours/days afterwards. Will I be able to stand in court and explain my case the day after? I’m tempted to postpone but that would mean having to disclose my medical stuff to the courts and the other party- which I absolutely don’t want to do.,5.171666666666667,6.072773055555558,5.731111111111113,80.69000000000003,68.44444444444444,7.777777777777778,28.333333333333336,7.793537801064563,1.7880000000000007,365,12,67,4,6,118,63,90,0.017,0.898,0.084,0.6785,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,10,1,0,1,0,17,20,5,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,4,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,13,16,2,13,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,5,50,15,1,0.24981071070108116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24411213529658055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223844954702313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151898075169761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222144841554645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631180130248054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14197318378151166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721170984727964,0.0,0.25165800961164075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17318729269827016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5719469941276846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14566663433432014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14734482954383216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709090595438509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774583614626094,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wheresthecat1515,2019/08/13,Bipolar and weed y’all I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder for a couple of years and had an on and off relationship with weed. My doctors advise me to avoid it but I keep coming back to it for some reason. Has weed made your symptoms worse or had an effect on your guys’ life?,4.204473684210527,5.229678526315791,5.079780701754388,84.02388157894737,70.75438596491226,7.805263157894737,26.530701754385966,8.07648339933343,1.5372491228070175,224,7,45,3,4,73,43,57,0.132,0.868,0.0,-0.765,0,1,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,3,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,0,4,6,0,3,0,14,7,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,6,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,0,6,0,10,3,1,6,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,2,2,32,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20656523985217007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314069538298125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.297241686082027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726608590848114,0.0,0.0,0.30788122915189403,0.2749613111263961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659928249045715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23877687268767075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897462290028818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541907864077184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762035357437362,0.0,0.2884155598807565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792166601300244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737640119837217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17299339428132435
bipolarreddit,ACaulfield910,2019/08/13,"Day 3 of Celexa got me wanting to die title. I'm just numb. I don't care about anything anymore, not even the reasons that kept me going (aka the impact of my death on others). I just, really, don't care.",1.0324418604651164,2.7784433488372144,3.1466860465116286,91.64933139534887,80.62790697674419,5.230232558139536,20.05232558139535,5.985473137389443,-0.006669767441860318,156,4,34,1,4,53,34,43,0.326,0.674,0.0,-0.9377,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,6,9,0,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,5,2,5,7,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,20,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056745761012512,0.0,0.0,0.2536414177939465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6285081553779389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987784547608056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3198870024224513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20357850585246734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17517033825173645,0.0,0.2465142366567609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19745566392638408,0.3169047672500364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18179801948062446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hartcrane19,2019/08/13,"Agony. I have been having an exceptionally difficult time. Psychiatric medication has failed me for 7 years. I live with hateful, homophobic people. I am gay and cannot conceive hope. I beg, offer some. Much love.",2.7261003861003883,5.458219216216217,4.330888030888033,73.42675675675676,100.08108108108108,7.519691119691122,24.204633204633204,7.957251820313856,2.6912038610038613,169,7,27,5,7,56,34,37,0.332,0.5720000000000001,0.096,-0.8519,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,1,0,6,3,0,0,0,5,9,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,5,2,3,8,2,2,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,2,18,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3919150538335491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3942700807513714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3505222699760607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.358271200593254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3998946588652248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918107064798728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27520154609918285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23147011746243226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25562872729914665
bipolarreddit,Geishawithak,2019/08/13,"Guys, I actually slept like a normal person!! So my doctor and therapists have been suggesting I take magnesium for awhile and I finally was able to afford it and got some.  I also have celiac disease and magnesium deficiency is really common with that. I took some last night and my muscles actually unclenched and I felt sleepy in a normal non drugged way! I haven't slept without a sleep aid in years and for the first time last night I didn't need them. My pounding heart relaxed and I slept all night. I want to cry. This is like a miracle.  I just hope it keeps working. 

I just wanted to share the good news with you guys.  This has been a constant, life long serious problem for me and it could have just been a mineral deficiency the whole time.",3.906425287356321,5.83770726896552,4.828706896551727,81.96489942528737,72.86206896551724,8.419540229885056,27.25574712643678,9.075114841892004,2.2771264367816086,594,22,114,13,12,193,86,145,0.05,0.7959999999999999,0.155,0.9334,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,1,2,5,8,0,0,9,0,13,8,5,0,1,29,25,11,0,8,4,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,3,6,11,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,2,0,1,11,1,18,6,11,13,4,17,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,3,15,76,24,2,0.13854979897935268,0.0,0.2704092355101392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079822418712468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14972311197885033,0.0,0.11062074058526307,0.0,0.15219044838146392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418115901130318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067378016608494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13302953453007307,0.15177453252120934,0.0,0.1178503882336398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620899793319198,0.11081093100879688,0.0,0.0,0.27437216751584914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16418217888180595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13761121226311346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12314942731157524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22587315632701765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09786182042345873,0.13537686672128835,0.0,0.0,0.12261221218881475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027329203850617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.390058802164025,0.2714987721841302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12097634035389758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325734460641733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875854899653579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13864985798720014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417220609724206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16086699533985188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16157900394565902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393392457429625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16344052227906802,0.1099743814675037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15468590266187746,0.0,0.13355706205498966,0.0,0.10086590377711052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922152800910968
bipolarreddit,catatonic11,2019/08/13,"What should people say to help you feeling better? My bf is bipolar and i only can imagine what kind of hell you live every day. But when he is really down, i really can’t talk to him; every fucking word i say is wrong, every time. He is aggressive, he asks for conversation and then he says i’m stupid, useless, i can’t understand and i only say bullshits. On the other side he’s so kind with some friends and says i should learn from them how to behave. What am i doing wrong and really how can i feel him better?",3.05745283018868,4.265251301886797,4.7171226415094365,84.84285377358493,73.71698113207545,7.564150943396226,22.683962264150942,8.07648339933343,1.0987962264150941,402,10,83,6,8,136,65,106,0.16699999999999998,0.72,0.114,-0.7994,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,1,2,4,12,4,0,1,0,12,2,0,2,0,18,18,11,0,2,1,0,2,0,2,2,1,5,0,0,4,6,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,0,7,14,5,9,16,1,7,1,1,0,1,21,3,2,1,4,52,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13493903831262632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255315179017649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308778867520176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36483970983398345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14596595553608016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11151724063155524,0.13344062000099324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674850596405912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006171841548317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745545267297864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21955516172581385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006764373850058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774049804102583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5739274557483101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11601555994134907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416620320145915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15026372393147092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31562771896218456,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sixkittensdeep,2019/08/13,"In a daze and spinning in a circle. I cycle quickly. I am in a difficult situation in my life but cannot think clearly to make a decision so it keeps getting worse. I have these ""Episodes"" (which is really just the effect of the person I live with pushing my buttons relentlessly)  where I get so fucking pissed off, my PTSD mixes in with my BiPolar and I am somewhere else. Then I will punch myself. Hard. In the head. I have 2 cracks in my skull from it. I hate it but I have trouble controlling it. I suffer from PTSD as well as brain trauma and post-concussive syndrome. My head does not need this from me.

The next day after this happens I am not myself. I am foggy. My head hurts. I think about... It isn't good.

I know I am fucked up but have no support or family or anything really. I get paid in 3 days and I am considering leaving. Leaving everything. But chances are I will still be sitting here being abused and stuck and unable to make a move because I AM PARALYZED BY FEAR.

I really do not know what to do or even how to begin deciding what to do.",1.0980062305295917,3.438742500000004,3.161331775700937,88.27897585669783,84.2803738317757,6.183489096573209,22.935358255451714,7.492282038375204,1.1328760124610595,821,30,168,14,24,277,122,214,0.272,0.693,0.036000000000000004,-0.9957,0,0,0,0,1,0,29.0,0,0,0,2,12,14,4,1,9,0,22,10,6,5,1,33,41,19,0,1,11,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,11,8,0,2,7,0,1,2,6,11,1,0,2,1,31,3,26,35,0,22,0,2,0,2,1,11,3,3,8,127,42,0,0.0,0.1515562682463207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526169439275583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797472147624156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14279347492991742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14346557096462728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16498691056753376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193773489948597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10685509529004868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448548606278806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149601687097922,0.0,0.12058521500459946,0.1439379526041948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23650745120820665,0.20048815930772515,0.0,0.0,0.10728755363474198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311325223953073,0.0,0.11458513482173152,0.1262878386854985,0.3938276496112691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13693376480498534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369516150009433,0.0,0.0,0.1405955386762187,0.0,0.0,0.27088329562429303,0.0,0.0,0.09034890149824154,0.0,0.0,0.11294973095167728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17076615671295192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359515267543857,0.0,0.09484604378227633,0.0,0.0,0.13603717773186488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116889039153001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225055216954565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29904745580595365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24583348334564226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14377983672613626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021516755783366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14515442448104054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16392327356012526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500936101218315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13035451551506216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,loony1uvgood,2019/08/13,So I have decided to take medication after being on the fence about it for 15 years? Anyone on bupropion hydrochloride and Lurasidone hydrochloride(Latuda) and having insomnia as side effect? None of the sleep meds worked . I was barely getting 4 hours of sleep. Now the doctor has prescribed melatonin. Will it help? Has anyone been in this situation before?,5.699214285714284,9.264624016666673,5.452857142857141,71.23500000000003,75.5,8.095238095238095,26.904761904761905,8.841846274778883,3.0134761904761898,291,11,40,7,7,90,50,60,0.0,0.9390000000000001,0.061,0.5661,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,0,8,5,2,1,0,5,10,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,10,6,1,8,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,4,31,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.367918504478811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238709513125009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26928465175624616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13745411997922788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763442632624609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590915095947793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2922346450217608,0.2650363711866821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2957251589748116,0.5265617386333101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19781159085245947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19153328547440227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16942189337234848
bipolarreddit,Evaura,2019/08/13,"Does certain medication interfere with bipolar disorder? Before i was correctly diagnosed, i was prescribed zoloft and things went really bad and I'm wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. I was angry all the time and couldnt stand being spoken to for the whole time i was on it. My anger escalated into me breaking things and that never happened before. I got so depressed that it started turning into a minor psychosis situation but it was scary to me. Has anyone had experiences like this under certain meds?",5.906693548387097,8.524340462365593,7.214717741935487,64.04207661290322,69.10752688172043,9.811290322580646,34.20564516129032,10.125756701596842,4.419667741935483,425,21,59,12,8,144,66,93,0.163,0.762,0.076,-0.8214,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,4,0,11,4,0,0,5,17,18,7,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,8,7,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,9,0,8,3,8,7,2,11,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,2,5,49,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666872115362879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592286024039692,0.0,0.0,0.3245475235559691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16425176375010447,0.19355899960370546,0.0,0.0,0.2185615599959043,0.0,0.16688502248907308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3730872303147429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15252219162671427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16863757034887944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931675973656847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21182746082737114,0.19211268236589465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14708150647250262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12216888979557472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21435757394110616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349801945546604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533885035031593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22240029551504265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20742953306431366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17678310647529866,0.0,0.21291250486717034,0.0,0.0,0.20680870116753736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BPvsBPD,2019/08/13,"[Rant/Emotional Dump] I’m angry and I’m sad My SO/ex or whatever the fuck we are currently just stopped by my place, and laid out some shit that just fuels my paranoia and fear. This fucking crazy bitch has the audacity to tell me, that she wants to hang me up and disembowel and castrate me. Then she decided that everything was fine for about 30 minutes. She then picked a fight with me because I don’t remember someone’s name. She gets super fucking pissed off then tells me that she wants to punch me in the face. FFS! I’m a liar because I don’t remember someone’s name. I hope that this shit stops, I can’t keep letting this chaos into my life. Thanks for letting me get it out before I dwell on it. I gotta figure things out, I can’t keep living with this kinda shit in my life. How the fuck am I supposed to be stable when I’ve got to deal with this kind of shit. Holy fucking shit Batman!",2.2095967741935496,3.908973548387099,3.4717069892473127,90.87756048387101,76.95698924731181,6.585483870967742,23.990591397849464,7.413659706084162,0.9013881720430112,704,23,154,9,16,229,107,186,0.305,0.626,0.069,-0.9947,2,0,0,0,1,0,20.0,1,0,0,1,5,23,15,2,6,0,11,14,7,2,0,33,29,11,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,13,13,0,4,4,0,0,1,4,18,0,0,2,0,26,5,22,23,1,18,0,1,0,5,12,10,12,4,7,92,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13156702118538516,0.0,0.09182705813291328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11125482858726086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121388979478496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969863480482272,0.0,0.0,0.12143350627694904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4988248155059554,0.1127614582592448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630886474566067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718317587062404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19183824499221164,0.0,0.11237606017031218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22069921515176752,0.15244601856150652,0.0,0.0,0.09529023870595534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127473978778991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444915630474182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5538620114929165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18287074711969206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18044225015851212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886435802060907,0.09935292063785674,0.0,0.0,0.071693416688123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12730121300239206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,broskymchoesky,2019/08/13,Hey let’s play a game It’s called “am I masturbating because I’m horny or because I’m in dire need of the dopamine rush so I can forget about how many people I’ve pushed away,0.3526923076923083,2.2717606153846184,2.1304487179487204,97.15413461538462,83.87179487179488,4.925641025641027,20.006410256410245,5.985473137389443,-0.2691589743589744,140,4,34,1,4,46,32,39,0.146,0.787,0.067,-0.4173,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,4,6,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,4,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,15,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3680694760559728,0.0,0.0,0.4776240023331518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4000286530597211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4005990312117896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3971810575106076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29048354504580715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27159562538251525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,yardsard33,2019/08/13,"What was it like opening up to your therapist about hypersexuality the first time?  Those of you who've dealt with hypersexuality, how was opening up the first time? I grew up in a household that was very conservative and religious, so obviously speaking to a therapist is very nerve wracking, and I'd like to hear other people's stories.",9.893060109289612,9.155217868852462,10.330163934426233,57.21633879781425,58.836065573770504,12.723497267759562,41.6448087431694,11.855464076750405,5.043421857923496,274,13,46,7,3,93,44,61,0.0,0.9079999999999999,0.092,0.6553,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,2,3,2,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,1,1,8,5,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,2,3,2,10,2,0,11,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,6,32,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4381482448394108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29028051502365504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516543960304924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17855455407475546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5980768728653759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003620015291664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4250157602964917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,buffystan,2019/08/13,At what times a day do you take your medicine? I know I could just ask my psych doc but I’m away. Plus I know this can vary from person to person. When do you take your medicine?,-1.6346153846153832,0.3021679743589765,-0.6498717948717943,111.29903846153849,100.02564102564102,2.6,11.628205128205128,3.1291,-2.2253794871794867,137,2,37,0,6,41,29,39,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,6,10,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,5,9,0,5,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,3,23,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30064573877528056,0.0,0.30214690381368153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567655823009972,0.0,0.0,0.20740067031139145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3534778469871775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5616046378150953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4835953369435534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18752327464190427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,internetontape,2019/08/13,"Psychosis and severe depression right after starting Seroquel? Am I going into psychosis? Quick background: have been manic since early June. Wednesday (five days ago) I took a small dose of MDMA. Friday (three days ago) I noticeably began to crash into depression and also started taking 200mg of Seroquel. I've also been pretty much constantly stoned since Friday.

Since Friday my mood has just been getting worse and worse. I haven't been this deeply depressed in a very long time. I haven't left my apartment, haven't really gotten out of bed. The Seroquel/weed knocks me out so I sleep 12+ hours a night. Called out of work twice. My dreams have been absolutely insane. I tried to quit my job this morning but was roped into staying

I'm weirdly at peace with all of this bc I feel like everything is going to be over soon. Everything has this dreamlike quality. But sometimes my thoughts race so fast and I'm getting what I guess could be voices in my head? It's hard to tell if that's what it actually is, they're just characters that say nonsensical things.

I feel like my thinking is off. Sometimes I get so so paranoid and sometimes I feel like ""I'm figuring everything out"" I've been binge watching The Leftovers and I feel like the existential/surreal qualities of that show are fucking my head up. It's pushing me down into the brain place I've been in during psychotic depression before. Like I'm thinking about things that shouldn't make sense but do, and I'm so severely depressed but at the same time I feel so at peace and like something big is going to happen. And I feel like I'm special or immune

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense. I have my first meeting with my therapist in over a month tomorrow and I don't even know how to explain this. I'm afraid she'll send me back to the hospital if I do

I'm just confused because this started right as I started taking Seroquel. I would think Seroquel would have the opposite effect. If anyone has an explanation or a similar experience please share. I know the weed has probably definitely played a part

tldr: not sure how to summarize but was manic, just started taking Seroquel, immediately started to become severely depressed and am inching into what feels like psychosis, unsure if this is normal or what would cause me to become psychotic right after taking seroquel",4.597908608382654,6.7472541828442445,5.141310475260816,79.52712769202614,71.5056433408578,7.768873162101152,29.580196449270943,8.524219190627866,2.4529758892074924,1885,78,325,33,37,603,209,443,0.13,0.746,0.12300000000000001,-0.2944,1,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,0,4,20,24,1,2,15,0,39,7,4,6,3,74,86,35,0,11,19,0,8,8,0,5,2,2,1,0,21,22,0,0,16,3,0,6,7,10,0,4,13,11,36,13,44,65,4,66,0,6,1,1,8,30,1,10,37,206,57,2,0.0,0.0,0.06533548158679525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869779403818125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070829599820538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04552964719130708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04681438617570953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051481945472914604,0.0,0.040813309983646934,0.14788641946877726,0.056971209877650836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474056008949714,0.06836546463290641,0.0,0.0,0.06877813364897266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07235131305598523,0.0,0.053455713862665837,0.0,0.0,0.08635698591483518,0.0,0.34599389092307564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044221156119810916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805163870737785,0.06549189058060137,0.0,0.0,0.2369705549451647,0.2869830782871444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05694932612719091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06189603333526425,0.1049389499437989,0.0,0.11415107173942708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375516215699697,0.0,0.059205421186621886,0.0,0.05997582983893358,0.0,0.13742410907371894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593422096124056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06643951645509287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359012246114559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274353001378064,0.0,0.0,0.26167487264287986,0.0,0.0,0.05925040183383948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938194272056889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05344043744006615,0.0,0.04921741420134089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282990455430039,0.06559873222306656,0.0,0.07622528120515155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250247773611311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06995057664118384,0.07349317666352123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811424067698346,0.07218556610614056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07121167969184693,0.0,0.0,0.042891157416969125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17152989380020656,0.0,0.05324290749361985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269100653005044,0.0,0.1661501270742568,0.0,0.06700033914481318,0.0,0.0,0.05154291074037262,0.19865168195641855,0.0,0.2843337669273033,0.07136191013153459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12620291122191435,0.0,0.2013582484483448,0.0,0.0585189878588768,0.0,0.0,0.07773641748679018,0.08895985065911527,0.12870039002413156,0.0,0.05315239924341327,0.07808048432360948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438612128489935,0.04545600447875271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05524240123612098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04874184409073384,0.0,0.13645958969165098,0.14268231232493828,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,WhackyLamb,2019/08/13,"Contemplating ways to end my life This is literally how I've been feeling the past week. I have a stable job (good job even), my mom's in town visiting me, I'm loved by my family and friends, and yet as I write this I'm crying my eyes out and I just don't want to deal with anything. All I really want to do is go to sleep and never wake up or have the courage to take a break to figure out how to be happy again. I've been on meds for a year now. I had a psychotic break a year ago with hallucinations and delusions because my depression got very severe. I don't have hallucinations or fear anymore, but I'm just sad. 

​

I feel like I'm already dead inside. I just. can't. stop. crying. I'm writing here because I need help and I don't know what to do. My fucking psychiatrist is not even accessible to me, I only get to speak to him when I have my appointments. I see him next week and I absolutely don't want to increase my meds. I'm already pretty foggy to begin with. Currently, I'm on Latuda 60 mg.",0.8210195412064571,2.8635050186915905,3.422327952421412,87.85153780798643,82.92523364485982,6.507731520815634,21.876805437553106,7.686295010490155,0.9190168224299068,790,26,175,14,22,276,117,214,0.135,0.747,0.11900000000000001,-0.5365,3,0,0,0,0,1,28.0,0,0,0,0,12,10,1,1,7,0,18,6,3,2,2,34,40,14,1,4,7,1,2,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,3,12,0,1,4,0,0,3,7,4,0,0,4,5,26,6,25,35,2,29,0,2,2,2,11,7,1,2,17,104,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357613093570247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827808589899692,0.0,0.0,0.13882466623607415,0.15568733699976134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270667454485545,0.0,0.0,0.10543693191990637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562090644121333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.281481192352562,0.0,0.13209246913373754,0.11035489405919917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11348176866946087,0.0,0.0,0.1692522715620552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078596281708932,0.14417757757910124,0.12956889622541612,0.09153337105654803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989899715016983,0.11845059200047615,0.06694064263872344,0.0,0.07281706272293241,0.10746616377114007,0.10247421345350527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13639270477780385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08588027998160606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542909337567336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041479963421163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049931251119983,0.06259598132950775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156388829426067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846386116620173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500598375169028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500394154620936,0.09881881140427096,0.0,0.13626364965751453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744573609965754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231093988159968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13035039076171132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08208091397564704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020999796556935,0.0,0.0,0.14474611762882472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282187146460363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107119226473801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633494445312332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571751980459007,0.22671642789890475,0.10170060063860976,0.2055501918205436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15568733699976134,0.16501812271801206
bipolarreddit,isildur519,2019/08/13,"How responsible do you guys think we are for our actions when we’re manic or hypomanic? Curious about this, because when I’m hypomanic it feels like there’s no one in the drivers seat anymore. 

Also, my mom also had hypomanic episodes when I was very young and used to beat the shit out of me during them. After she got medicated, it all stopped. Makes me feel like she wasn’t really the one in control, you know what I mean? 

I know I’ve done shit hypomanic I would never do normally. 

Anyways, interesting sort of philosophical question, I’d love to know where you guys stand.",3.5540540540540526,5.794682108108107,5.110171171171171,78.19552702702704,74.76576576576576,8.403963963963964,28.21711711711712,9.120678840339163,2.5556046846846856,458,19,87,11,10,154,80,111,0.034,0.759,0.207,0.9673,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,2,3,1,2,10,6,2,0,3,0,8,4,2,4,2,22,20,8,0,2,1,1,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,4,3,0,2,8,0,0,1,3,2,0,2,5,2,15,4,10,14,1,13,0,0,0,1,13,4,2,3,9,56,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716607252749454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16844727008562166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354003468793582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19050315170061985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17381728532101512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17176427066053288,0.2426842116996264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13584594025352534,0.0,0.0,0.3363598224134528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800381971727893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659619460003423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15329781272566975,0.0,0.113377344957698,0.0,0.0,0.1850183216115784,0.0,0.17110774302597154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19892828678332836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13100012088445834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16641862697689508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23019184850213495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902728037219916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881136395303638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3487007085248305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420036470557175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883412668390753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466973550828897,0.0,0.14014546094214472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065779173018458,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,noctif,2019/01/09,"Akathisia: Abilify vs Rexulti? I am on Abilify and it is working really well. However, the akathisia is near intolerable so my doctor is switching me to Rexulti (supposedly has fewer side effects). Anyone make the switch from Abilify to Rexulti for akathisia reasons? Also, how did it affect your appetite/weight gain? My appetite is way up but I'd rather be stable if it means being a little chunkier haha",4.395833333333337,7.534379138888893,6.1116666666666735,67.27500000000003,77.05555555555556,9.155555555555557,35.388888888888886,9.516144504307137,4.650772222222222,326,19,46,10,8,111,56,72,0.0,0.855,0.145,0.8695,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,3,5,2,0,0,3,1,9,1,0,5,0,11,11,6,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,5,2,7,8,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,0,35,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563510333897297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22414240838430816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32810586937494385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3212844783872448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21397571926139805,0.0,0.0,0.3491828853299156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053583974325011,0.3295881913291186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25444492944199165,0.0,0.3903546809171775,0.288221170026592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333708762640624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,getoutahere3011,2019/01/09,"Hobbies I’ve tried meeting new people even tried doing one of my favorite things today and another one yesterday again driving and playing
In the snow and I didn’t enjoy myself like I used to I don’t find much satisfaction in many things besides working even relationships is this normal maybe I need a more extreme hobby to do on my days off from this job anybody relate ",4.653427230046948,6.874562535211267,5.312323943661976,78.0523356807512,71.53521126760563,6.986854460093897,30.143192488262912,7.793537801064563,2.2656460093896698,304,13,50,4,6,98,55,71,0.0,0.812,0.188,0.9081,1,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,1,0,7,7,3,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,7,3,8,6,2,10,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,6,36,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368935053505893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14569767250959784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984318849985795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064838994181084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22418760468820914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037155678381402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22904421724977694,0.2269638316021842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16607487211626545,0.16751447467300298,0.0,0.2181918923632877,0.0,0.0,0.2213505370348797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3061741958373048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15662229164224548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24255013971460915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30017822068539585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214142749062062,0.0,0.0,0.3067654103014447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19511961442694933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16447015056429026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,schalk81,2019/01/09,"How do you control impulse buying? I am depressed right now and remember about a lot of things I bought that I don't use anymore. I am afraid that I will spend too much in my next hypomania. I have no one I trust enough to ask them for help with this. Even if had someone, I think I would just buy stuff without asking them first. ",3.2402941176470605,4.332507147058827,3.7698823529411776,92.25747058823532,73.11764705882355,6.616470588235294,25.364705882352943,6.742157984588678,0.7048023529411767,258,8,58,2,5,81,56,68,0.085,0.8220000000000001,0.09300000000000001,0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,2,2,6,3,0,1,1,0,8,0,0,3,0,12,13,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,2,0,4,0,3,2,0,2,2,0,13,1,7,9,3,5,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,2,3,47,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270295116411513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4280230912720591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25675594193190554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19717053125921533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23653803831259976,0.0,0.15120108892867698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19472128003293007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15344186203087462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946216416736886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16828430720658175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24346157389158485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15512374561680248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593244581569455,0.19549848234137068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19396521016298812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620613835571844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15208587326558826,0.14668423310380374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197715456395276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206730284946288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626199078101994,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BipolarBill18,2019/01/09,"Any other lawyers on here? Just wondering if any one else can relate to the joy of being responsible for client matters, including some that are life and death, while being unable to remember what you said or read ten seconds ago because of BP depression. 

I know this applies to lots of other jobs but just wondering if there are other attorneys on here. ",10.054871794871794,8.614514384615386,9.38,66.40333333333334,59.0,12.974358974358973,40.12820512820512,11.855464076750405,4.8615128205128215,285,12,47,7,3,91,51,65,0.07,0.856,0.07400000000000001,-0.1779,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,0,14,9,6,1,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,2,1,9,6,2,4,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,7,2,39,8,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265686938885649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3476254223906949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15580775382042136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201427712426508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21351602245199916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25363764487444657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14046779945849766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805336285410486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21729691180632515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731971356344704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556632063508253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28953822107734795,0.0,0.24312846151021456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5543616647110245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jadillow,2019/01/09,"Seroquel question I was just put on 50mg starting out and was told to take 1/2 before bed. I know everyone is different but from anyone’s experience, what should I expect good and bad. ",2.4333333333333336,5.084441222222225,3.9811111111111153,82.55000000000003,81.22222222222223,6.933333333333335,25.66666666666667,8.07648339933343,1.9514666666666671,148,6,27,3,4,49,32,36,0.126,0.7709999999999999,0.102,-0.2263,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,9,8,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,3,1,4,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21977676198932344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624403806304604,0.0,0.0,0.26745940845040866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3283928828156291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30034200673274364,0.0,0.3074609500237773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636329962046892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17273962290357028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3159739728081346,0.3521053845036203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22247418555258028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23632619937448215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30034200673274364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CHOCALAT-FISH,2019/01/09,"I failed the IB diploma. I don't want to try anymore. [BD1] It's 12:29 AM here. I'm so tired of trying. I tried in the IBDP, and scored 24/45 points and didn't receive my diploma. My attendance was 38% and I was in a psych ward for most of the time I wasn't there. I don't want to repeat senior year because I'm so burnt out, I just don't have another senior year in me. I can't go to university because I have no ATAR. I'm applying for a remark but I was three points away from passing my HL subjects so I doubt it'll do much. I can do a diploma at a university and go onto a degree in 2020, but I know it's going to tear me apart seeing my friends doing real degrees. My dream was to study in the US. I got an ACT score of 30. I was going to go there for real! I was so excited and proud of myself when I got that score!

Now, I want to go back in time and slap that stupid smile off my stupid face. I was never going to make it. I was stupid to think that I could. I have had anorexia nervosa since I was eleven years old. My BMI is around 13. Every time I move my head I can feel my blood pressure doing some weird shit. I've had disordered tendencies since I was six. I do not remember a time when I was at peace with myself. 

I don't think I'll ever get better. I've tried so many times to heal. I'm on meds. I don't want to give up hope. There's a small part of me that wants to keep going. I really do want to be able to do a degree someday, move out of home, maybe even find love. God, I'm so lonely. I have friends, sure. But I want to experience love. It seems like it's useless to pursue that - 90% of relationships involving an individual with bipolar end in divorce. I imagine that this is higher for those with BD1. But I have so much love to give. I was in a relationship until a few weeks ago, but she was emotionally abusive. I can never get better and find love, because my body is disgusting. I'm very short - 5'6"" and female. I'm the shortest in my family by four inches. I'm around 36 kilograms, and I only look normal. I once weight restored to the (still unhealthy for my height) 46kg and I was hideous. I looked overweight. I can never get better from my ED if I ever want anyone to love me. 

I don't know. Just a little rant. I'm tired of trying to get better when it seems like there is no hope for me. Just this past week, I had 7 straight days of eating over 2000 calories. This was a big deal for me. I really thought I could get better. But today I freaked out and ate nothing because I saw how fat I had gotten in only one week. 

I need advice. What do I even do? My new psychiatrist doesn't think I'm sick enough to see me more than once every three weeks. My old one went to jail, but he cared and he saw me once a week. He went under for getting caught cooking morphine, but he was always lovely to me and genuinely cared. This one doesn't really think I'm sick enough to be seen more often. Although, if I ask, I will probably be able to go inpatient in the private hospital she works at. A friend of mine (also BD1) went IP there and found it very helpful, but he's much older than me and I don't know what it was like in his ward as I was down the hall in the eating disorder program. Which I was kicked out of after four days (had panic attack and lit a cigarette in my room).

So. What should I do about treatment? I have the option to go for BD or my anorexia, but I don't do well with other anorexics around as they trigger me. I also have all the group thought experiments/exercises/not sure how to call them from the eating disorder unit, as I got friends who've stayed there to send them to me. In theory I could complete them in my own time if I were to go for BD and stay in that ward instead of the eating disorder ward. However, I do think that some of the things I didn't experience during my time in that ward (takeaway nights, eating in public challenges, etc) may have really helped me. So I'm fairly certain I will go inpatient, but not sure which ward to go to. 

Also, what should I do about my education? Should I just try to get over myself and do a diploma here, then review my options for university (be that domestic or abroad) when that's finished or wait and see what happens with the remark or resit my exams? 

This got long, I'm sorry. I skipped meds yesterday morning and last night. But I just really need some help. I'm so tired.",1.7157916535238693,3.268729717226435,3.579149992457179,90.21152214161309,77.93824485373781,6.493569400825598,21.65104159523843,7.2944935033769225,0.5627897993609166,3391,92,759,42,79,1143,351,923,0.11199999999999999,0.731,0.157,0.9952,1,2,1,0,1,0,118.0,1,0,4,9,47,44,6,3,33,0,84,28,6,4,10,122,177,64,0,22,26,0,2,3,4,7,9,0,2,0,35,32,10,2,18,2,0,24,21,14,1,9,44,11,118,30,113,119,16,125,0,3,9,6,39,50,1,20,52,497,153,9,0.08876295072712971,0.052584790993266815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04336906407338248,0.039341500084809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647554944097223,0.03692894282834997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046537846610820964,0.0,0.0,0.04401449790247507,0.03103255949490564,0.0,0.0,0.1185267674782868,0.04149068840614585,0.05049033534386736,0.041697857052900064,0.03412661504959905,0.0,0.10821814179067177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19625904168366606,0.0,0.04929781404149356,0.0,0.0,0.04531844849262046,0.0,0.09049974400686682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046533132525793434,0.0,0.0,0.1063049901728646,0.0,0.0,0.057244760043299536,0.04575535231579179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034600631894011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270666457219893,0.0,0.049923186200737914,0.039308814052323456,0.09171585593349244,0.04949707674356047,0.05862709181194317,0.08029117070752195,0.07478661430228009,0.0,0.0,0.08682719808599773,0.04183890512261237,0.0,0.022440607457946283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08112772888815888,0.0,0.0,0.04866199697328343,0.13715607109152195,0.0,0.16231242369733334,0.0851495105051709,0.3278991978679952,0.0,0.14198368069270165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039246392091927165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04554819777896992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924390224454369,0.0,0.04451823843396968,0.08816163822389687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039448294508751314,0.0,0.0,0.07317269455188835,0.03617682593791448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504764120317671,0.0444818977462183,0.0,0.039276209093172455,0.07453852309039682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403360857046248,0.0,0.029624979432983693,0.044995850070649296,0.04458715727843558,0.0,0.09859562808298712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943409692296702,0.097876472970675,0.06581660325290191,0.10268918949465017,0.042863905464608734,0.0,0.08329801629022505,0.04348442277683765,0.04258522258635024,0.0,0.09314178525264853,0.14179446842260165,0.0902221089238855,0.06750822383973018,0.0,0.05207209881607911,0.0,0.048060812875539136,0.04236714010313597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08390967915830885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04785073687507982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103167061045272,0.1421595478526302,0.0,0.0,0.09529819047395503,0.050275559935356255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060988693273262,0.08080645663869493,0.0,0.0,0.045556946681761,0.07342563009250523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04968142810460532,0.0,0.09460949518872518,0.03544310355523176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12548704589092033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029485080161847005,0.14218928683770468,0.0,0.07046786795953114,0.18115436633605653,0.15302993145494082,0.042068449254955384,0.0,0.0,0.1807926509718306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05338545031543747,0.0,0.0,0.07323873035809983,0.2094187524304561,0.0,0.17800071243663035,0.05404468055374601,0.039904276352764036,0.12342621690299832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03231024264549567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857406450909254
bipolarreddit,Usernameusername0987,2019/01/09,"A minor adjustment to my meds. So I’ve been really lucky with meds and lifestyle changes being really successful for me. I have bipolar 2 and anxiety, I’ve been pretty much stable with little dips into mild depression for awhile. I was only taking gabapentin and Hydroxyzine. Gabapentin was the first mood stabilizer I ever tried, and it’s always kept my hypomania at bay and my anxiety dialed down a little. Hydroxyzine comes in for sleep and breakthrough anxiety. It works. I’m productive and mostly good. But the little dips into mild depression started to string together and I feared I might go into a deep depressive episode so I just told my doctor I want to add an SSRI. We’re trying Celexa right now. 

So I took it last night (she said some people prefer night, some morning) for the first time and couldn’t sleep very well. So I’m definitely going to switch to the morning from now on. I had a little stomach upset but not too bad. 

I slept less than I need to but I feel really good this morning. I’m still on my gabapentin and Hydroxyzine. And will go back to take just the hydroxyzines at night so I go back to sleeping normally. 

BUT, I don’t know if it’s too soon to tell, obviously it’s been like 12 hours, but this morning I got up feeling really optimistic and happy to start my day. Maybe this is placebo effect (although I’m usually skeptical that things will work) or maybe I’m just super lucky with things working on the first try. 

I don’t know. Just letting y’all know that I’m feeling optimistic and happy. I felt pretty good before, but let my doctor know even though I was stable, I was still struggling a little with depression and I’m hopefully this addition works out. ",3.9393733567046425,6.061142512269938,4.877094653812446,80.83345092024541,73.2638036809816,8.338124452234883,26.366783523225237,9.04235418022936,2.294507800175285,1353,48,246,30,28,440,165,326,0.075,0.72,0.205,0.9932,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,10,22,22,1,3,12,0,19,8,5,1,2,63,52,29,0,7,13,0,4,1,0,3,3,1,0,0,13,25,0,1,11,0,0,6,4,9,1,3,15,5,29,12,32,30,5,46,0,4,0,0,5,19,0,9,22,159,42,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457140310126983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17809684237707607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934289194749645,0.06479475221258828,0.0,0.0,0.06603391618255508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820930363973621,0.06684758555353927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05004712013247358,0.0,0.2673552909964701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15885866405685434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05125564514045535,0.07019580242692693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732426082559752,0.11771429662145748,0.0,0.07451046179902672,0.0,0.0,0.19802565381068835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17641290093898618,0.1952676027573451,0.06206571849636173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16521836927369896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707668083383801,0.07642271999957312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705929710427145,0.06325630336669794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870739813741155,0.0,0.037912606745339666,0.3888898963925288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15592405767734896,0.0,0.17239751688970575,0.0,0.0,0.08232386986600197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05704668394919212,0.05754118712730784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184737515671494,0.07603386332504664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059020112685970724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053799724527009256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15789905355219652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19885630653990952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662720150191087,0.07381764139888547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329752934223865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985473875588272,0.0,0.12394673400008502,0.0,0.0,0.08112686482993378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669467551469498,0.0,0.06782790724753285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031111562252618,0.0,0.07624395183226068,0.0,0.04525057628573514,0.0,0.0,0.07415240695250283,0.08621910801299909,0.15806078172764831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854680663856797,0.06403009696973468,0.04577189882948314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06977386614654753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259818497225429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Kilby-,2019/01/09,"Just started Latuda - any advice or experiences you could share? Diagnosed BP2, have just been prescribed Latuda and am after any advice or experiences with it. I was on a mix of lamotrogine, Seroquel and zyprexa but I was getting the worst drug hangover to the point where I could barely get to work in the morning. Is there anything similar with Latuda I should be aware of?
I've also just started dexamfetamine for ADHD and if anyone has any experience with that as well I'd love to hear about it.",4.691209677419357,7.006959559139784,5.184610215053766,78.59691532258066,71.68817204301075,7.230645161290322,28.829301075268816,8.07648339933343,2.1575172043010737,401,16,68,6,8,128,66,93,0.057999999999999996,0.836,0.106,0.5803,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,8,4,0,0,4,0,11,3,0,0,0,16,17,9,0,4,7,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,1,5,3,14,10,1,7,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,3,3,52,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118530480847424,0.3445155098974802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097021687011138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3596272034124126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12325834423958633,0.0,0.1450625602761586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814888037248704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17891942899239605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20442762329024455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5173039307054038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18419695700328445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19867919419372426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15909863955328593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16664059115758612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495423037363129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849595107126144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833317893475216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,alec_nichols,2019/01/09,"Just about to start work and I feel terrible After months of job hunting, I finally got the job that I want through connections. In the past year, I've gotten accepted in certain jobs but I quit the moment I felt like the job wasn't what was stipulated in the contract. This new job I got is legal and legit. This is the job that i really really want.

But throughout the process of passing job requirements, my enthusiasm just dwindled and panic or maybe dread is a  better term to express what I feel. I don't know how I will handle this job after just being able to handle my bipolar moods. I feel jittery and i don't feel that I deserve this. I play around with thoughts of overdosing to feel more balanced, but of course that's stupid and counterproductive.

I didn't know where to post this, and even opening up to my family and SO, I feel like they can't really understand what I mean when I say these things.

I just want to make this job last, and I just want to have the courage to stick with it even if challenges or events overwhelm me.",4.802857142857143,5.717527922705315,5.225703933747415,83.931847826087,69.28985507246377,8.61959972394755,28.31228433402347,8.841846274778883,2.0063501725327813,828,28,168,14,14,264,109,207,0.081,0.758,0.161,0.8951,9,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,5,13,14,1,3,9,0,12,1,0,2,1,44,33,17,0,5,11,0,7,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,16,12,0,1,13,1,0,1,5,5,0,0,8,8,25,8,24,23,2,22,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,3,15,112,41,13,0.08971721030236877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986733832226582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934758172068357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851474252310434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845774012458328,0.0,0.2721823033765531,0.0640939929663585,0.08614259142764549,0.09828081854365073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351009780388138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8012743886920451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986124649488662,0.07313150079297767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766259432479995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059886934542386513,0.0,0.09013299656140332,0.0977283435207352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716114213112367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664944077335113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526381563698983,0.0,0.0,0.08564522894755923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592428734212147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542529666627253,0.0,0.0,0.17242542678048944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134672661758984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350230322396383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05960412798341343,0.0,0.0,0.07122544347044205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339877997212556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21167014051641234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06531519762694206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05777494194044175
bipolarreddit,waiting4aliens,2019/01/09,"Probably the most ridiculous way of fighting my negative thoughts First off, I've been a Queen fan since my early childhood. I probably knew all the lyrics to ""Bohemian Rhapsody"" by four or five. I was as much of a fan as any poor kid whose family couldn't afford a CD player, and was limited to the radio and her parents cassette tapes could be. The movie was right up my alley.

Anyways, a pattern of my depressive episodes, combined with my comorbids, is the worse, most negative, loathsome thought patterns, often about my physical appearance. To combat this, I have given my attempts at more positive self talk the most flamboyant, happy Freddie Mercury voice and wordings I can imagine. And it's working. Yeah, it's really, really weird and kinda stupid, but until i can stand on my own two feet, one of my childhood idols can ight the demons for me.",8.752500000000001,8.120983191082804,8.2981449044586,70.52326831210192,61.03821656050955,11.671656050955415,40.644108280254784,10.9516,4.627637579617836,679,33,113,15,8,216,111,157,0.133,0.805,0.062,-0.8047,2,0,0,0,2,0,24.0,0,0,0,5,3,6,3,0,11,1,12,1,1,0,1,23,17,10,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,4,6,0,1,4,2,1,1,3,5,0,5,8,1,16,1,18,6,7,13,1,1,0,0,7,5,0,7,5,84,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452054814057981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704836989556332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839102379593469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20129397389411013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181625706021579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273031477711238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15696669672456334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14469122128613207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370961364970723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4604358049580259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735813495155736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18235063920796854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22275492154895565,0.0,0.0,0.17663149673354167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17162467706934592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390327048915324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085845639446006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16948755941917454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15544998418421033,0.0,0.21760195428658025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sunlight1997,2019/01/09,"Tips on getting back info life please So ever since my bought of psychosis Im terrified of going outside. If you want to read about my phycotic break you can read it on my page. I have noise sensativity, light sensativity and derealization. Im scared to be around traffic. Are there any tips for going outside my biggest fear is that Im going go have a break outside from home. I've been in a depressive and anxious stage since August havent left the house since September 2018. I know im a loser. I still have my job im on FMLA and college is on hold for me and receiving mental help in home and my parents are taking care of my son And I. I thank the lord for all I have in the time. Is there anything advice on how to get back in to life im so embarrassed and feel like a failure. I'm a 21 y/o  that sits in the house all day and cries i have ptsd from my psycotic break. Sometimes i believe the break was actually real that's how real and scary it felt. I don't want to die I want to live Im scared of suicide I just cant see this getting any better. Im like a deer in the headlights all day please help",0.2686357243319257,2.4375658776371343,2.421518987341773,93.33568213783406,86.42616033755274,5.030098452883263,20.59212376933896,6.42735559955562,0.16926891701828414,871,28,195,9,27,293,122,237,0.152,0.725,0.12300000000000001,-0.9061,2,0,0,0,0,2,15.0,0,2,0,2,13,11,0,4,12,0,17,2,0,2,4,28,36,14,2,4,2,2,2,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,6,10,0,1,4,2,1,5,3,6,0,0,4,4,22,5,28,31,4,33,1,2,1,0,7,14,0,1,10,109,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.07808554043213288,0.0,0.0,0.07819217801175979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108829292147931,0.0,0.0,0.0903970025074474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06584758717731093,0.07123254251877942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12305704150691073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015232479887372,0.0,0.07076897900208587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158317737074139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08789546990180103,0.10320933972594827,0.0,0.0689189582311253,0.0,0.08304553515787731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723804127074571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004193725842823,0.04045925386064959,0.05716452025422846,0.07682935146515248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12541752841993564,0.0,0.18190316422660446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726809135903956,0.0,0.16052815981958687,0.0,0.0,0.1846589106093977,0.0,0.0,0.691461075984723,0.0,0.07940502499478069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04397552710476051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08693925132427813,0.0,0.1130374577779772,0.07818502041912884,0.0,0.07065692128936732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806388228796318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884996783928326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17567037935494795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353617918623756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16007831408923742,0.1821548733408455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16022295968264272,0.0,0.0637635901269112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19857391650546907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913935667922573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390208139586838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752616110371438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06016320408409771,0.0,0.0,0.07366936623004887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046658849583225234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158918965834522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lismox42,2019/01/09,"Terrified of Retirement I guess the subject says it all: I'm terrified of retirement. I work in a low paid industry, in the public sector. Due to hypomania and poor decision making I cashed in about $35,000 in retirement funds when I was broke and needed to get by, as well as to help fix up my old house and to move so I could start a new job. I had abruptly quit a job and was working a temp job and I had lots of bills to pay.

Anywhew, I do have about $21,000 saved for retirement now - but I'm in my early 40's and it's thousands less than I should have. I know social security will only replace about 40% of my income, and with the way the government is going, it may not even be around when I need it in 20+ years.

Anyone else worry about this? And what if I need to go onto disability? What about that? I currently work part-time so I'm not eligible for disability through work.",2.3914311594202893,3.868586440217392,4.392913043478263,85.41585507246378,75.90217391304348,8.167536231884059,24.22318840579711,8.841846274778883,1.6206605797101452,691,22,151,15,15,237,110,184,0.094,0.857,0.049,-0.7711,5,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,5,13,5,0,0,8,0,13,0,0,1,1,27,27,16,0,6,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,8,10,0,1,2,0,6,3,2,2,1,1,5,1,16,3,32,17,3,25,0,2,0,0,4,10,0,4,11,100,24,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598396860552292,0.15530533382929748,0.0,0.13493287273962531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210193951607596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12662051220044354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10011310634964092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919108693494517,0.0,0.1722858376356054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16697569762429862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159676468487652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17489588609677115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4512410095294364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330103057770609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12886267717298364,0.0,0.0,0.10117672990138106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16109902766308018,0.0,0.3371702943495279,0.0,0.14639098047381371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15905127074193778,0.0,0.0,0.11527875226049465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16413972182324305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16121745987397582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053761882279004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15451046420224698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728475969761253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031227650404087,0.0,0.0,0.13628310526212736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44139030720159467,0.15393061447098824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760859760886176
bipolarreddit,LucySparky,2019/01/09,Good bipolar documentary to show loved ones? I would love to know a good documentary to show someone who is interested. The problem I have is a good majority of them just show a bunch of famous rich people. What about the regular joe who's not genius? Especially ones that also don't solely focus on crazy manias. ,3.6039548022598886,6.304259932203393,5.445000000000004,73.53891242937857,76.79661016949153,8.001129943502825,25.08757062146893,8.841846274778883,2.3321841807909607,252,9,43,6,6,86,44,59,0.071,0.601,0.32799999999999996,0.9605,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,3,8,0,0,5,0,5,3,0,0,0,5,8,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,3,7,7,7,2,1,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,0,30,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065719437174315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6499793319784273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14196147209369564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4662731737953286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3500776751948109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17908095615914207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471696152146158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21886684586082086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834973718569836,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,im_just_a_dreamer,2019/01/09,"Why does Seroquil sometimes cause hallucinations when it is also meant to suppress them? Just increased dose and I'm starting to get auditory and slight visual hallucinations. I don't have schizophrenia though, I take 300mg seroquel and 200mg lamotragine for bipolar II. It's not that bad though, the worst side effect I get is congested sinuses and the odd dizzy spell. It does seem to work well for what it's supposed to do otherwise. 

Anyone else experience these?",5.1832142857142856,8.05068398809524,5.2216666666666685,76.32750000000001,72.21428571428572,8.009523809523811,30.73809523809524,8.841846274778883,2.8958380952380947,381,17,63,8,8,119,62,84,0.102,0.815,0.083,-0.3839,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,2,6,3,0,0,2,0,5,4,0,2,0,11,12,8,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,1,0,4,1,6,11,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,36,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18528851576935454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16200837430351805,0.2374016088036781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19345784801216992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380172961849429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40552032522762216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19355364405559405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22664474726216585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24210490364654025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21092882582585207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22915488646036286,0.0,0.16399677927561646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742077871174064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4552835018804832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20832400049795766,0.0,0.20907107819447207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686786384864021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Based_Goode,2019/10/04,"One of our own needs help I was recently browsing the sub and noticed a user lashing out at others (u/NathenFuckingStone). I think that the best way to deal with this is to overwhelm them with support and positivity as they are probably in need of this, otherwise they wouldn’t feel the need to call others “fucking pussies” or tell them to “Man the fuck up.” I have already reached out and would encourage others to do the same. If you have any other ideas for how we might help this user please act on them. The last thing I want is for someone in pain to be turned away, but if they continue I feel that such measures should be taken as to protect the positive and productive members of our community.",11.538000000000006,7.406754948148151,10.49851851851852,67.88333333333334,58.77777777777778,13.762962962962966,44.03703703703704,11.20814326018867,4.690659259259259,558,23,107,10,5,178,90,135,0.04,0.787,0.172,0.9432,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,3,1,6,1,2,7,2,1,8,0,13,3,0,1,0,27,25,11,0,9,4,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,10,9,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,2,2,15,3,24,17,3,13,0,1,0,2,17,8,2,4,3,84,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934585553802124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11921657193223775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647091846783799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18397665931826948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790107509035534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18073654876424733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17728365049535974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3241418884459349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350127227172617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979032532775942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429007609893741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859758320565293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3899696468693679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19959119563711508,0.0,0.0,0.11879435420357835,0.0,0.18654182520211526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924373484692448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18901345090600846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730971274047967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14853929543574473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198939310483486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532283590111266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11646794000644525,0.11233134343247883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19068655506068147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340217221901854,0.13915263820273813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453494371312802,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Detrimentation,2019/10/04,"Adjusting meds for comorbid OCD, Anafranil? Abilify? Currently I am the most stable, mood-wise, I have ever been since the onset of my bipolar symptoms when I was 16 (I'm 20 now). I'm in school, I'm cutting down my days at PHP, things are looking up. However, my OCD/BDD symptoms have been really interfering in my life, and while I'm worried that trying to treat them might affect the mood stability that I've so desperately yearned to have this whole time. Also, waking up on Seroquel has been one of the most frustrating side effects I've had to deal with and I don't know how much longer I can stand it.

Currently, I'm on 750mg Depakote, 200mg Seroquel, 300mg Luvox, and 1800mg Gabapentin. The Depakote and Seroquel squash the mania, while the Seroquel keeps the depression at bay. The Gabapentin has been tremendous for my social phobia at my current dose, and Luvox was supposed to help with my OCD and BDD but it hasn't done anything as far as I can tell.

I've tried every SSRI except for Celexa, and none of them have helped so I'm pretty sure they just don't agree with me. I have heard that Anafranil is the gold standard for OCD, so I'd like to try it. The main things that scare me about it are that 1)according to this (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8038948) TCA's induce mania at a much higher rate than SSRI's and 2) Apparently Anafranil has one of the highest rates of sexual dysfunction like anorgasmia (although I've seen some people say that it goes away eventually).

Now my other complaint that I mentioned earlier is waking up on Seroquel. I've tried taking my pills 12 hours before I want to wake up along with setting multiple alarms, but it's like I'm wasted during the first 15 minutes after waking up. I've even fallen asleep in the shower a couple of times. And as someone who used to be a morning person, it really does suck. However, Seroquel is the only thing so far that I can use to help keep the bipolar depression at bay. Lamictal didn't work for me. Latuda made me MORE depressed. Lithium really helped with my depression, but it was messing with my thyroid and gave me horrible acne (which further complicated my BDD). I THINK Vraylar was helping a little, though not much it mostly seemed to help my mania, but I had insomnia on it. And with Symbyax the Zyprexa portion was raising my prolactin.

So anyway what I'm trying to say is that out of all of the conventional, ""safe"" bipolar depression treatments, I only have Seroquel left. Which is why I was wondering if maybe the Anafranil can help with my lows? I've heard its more ""potent"" than modern SSRI's but with the risk of more side effects.

Additionally, to combat the possibility of inducing mania plus the problems waking up, I was thinking of trying Abilify again. It worked for me before for my mania, but I needed something for my lows. But if the Anafranil can cover that, maybe the Abilify could be another support for my highs while ALSO augmenting the Anafranil's antidepressant and anti-OCD effects.

**TL;DR: Thinking of trying Anafranil for bipolar depression and OCD, has anyone had success with this? Or in general, has anyone risked their stability to potentially improve quality of life?**",6.031693835028802,7.360972177554442,6.237189198022634,76.27973035911265,66.75544388609714,8.906467295828739,32.483923683457945,9.18016646516576,2.9760607835927604,2558,107,438,46,41,817,274,597,0.136,0.7829999999999999,0.081,-0.9885,7,0,1,0,0,0,92.0,0,0,4,7,18,27,3,4,29,0,47,18,6,10,3,75,76,41,0,7,13,0,0,3,0,1,12,4,1,1,33,27,0,3,12,0,0,1,6,18,0,3,21,6,44,8,78,51,15,53,1,9,2,0,22,32,1,10,21,293,77,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253622652384161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08218914907339488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961141712400352,0.0,0.06450075612162584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364138306659514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13339265042416612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06258072601731851,0.08672691304555195,0.0,0.050549160087001985,0.08080720846060596,0.4050558364471754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859160477332996,0.08021081664779092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05176980822691318,0.07089996077540367,0.06603924159820672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667070585555772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36775919269643387,0.08281366508056982,0.0,0.0,0.07718934270977035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393369910380454,0.0,0.0,0.04307606201980109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516101633251984,0.0,0.11072541621172934,0.11487876360994954,0.07855819706280454,0.0,0.0,0.0658201682301608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416584975123262,0.0,0.0,0.15748818577540966,0.0,0.0870634479745503,0.0,0.0,0.08314968904949807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728568168406493,0.0581184026572412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062257767972888,0.1192243276583745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05433940815283402,0.06843912968047622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836262465856733,0.0,0.07974149675814313,0.0,0.07499988213258311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15063832714532369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12466318623239847,0.07847289848105612,0.07932559866968644,0.0,0.07135497658830497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06483744411239746,0.0,0.0,0.07989939971361554,0.06641183475581648,0.06034140304374755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08894565290287491,0.07387301785976677,0.16293541678594506,0.05893264006279515,0.0,0.06850831242130055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15621824979109994,0.1506698398437691,0.0770087812572029,0.0,0.09140900090323208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3725081361002095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353917664694641,0.0,0.0,0.04623105256192982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072652033902238,0.0875094131716035,0.0,0.0,0.08500068180233622,0.11412437586962762,0.0795995517668057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hot-sauce-enthusiast,2019/10/04,"Clonazepam and panic attacks? Recently, I’ve noticed a spike in frequency of panic attacks for myself. Now, I’m a college student, and I partake in drinking socially occasionally. However, I never take it on the nights I drink. 
I will say I’ve been in a slight depressive episode lately, especially being away from home. Is it maybe the alcohol or the depressive episode that might be causing these? Any input would be helpful. 

I’m also on 200mg of Lamotrigine and 5mg of Aripiprazole, if that matters.",4.951847826086954,7.382692880434785,6.466739130434785,69.18206521739135,71.28260869565217,9.382608695652175,37.58695652173913,9.827888789773867,4.541169565217392,403,24,62,11,8,137,64,92,0.193,0.765,0.042,-0.9332,1,0,3,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,2,2,6,0,8,3,0,1,1,10,11,6,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,1,0,5,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,0,1,1,5,0,11,4,0,11,0,2,0,0,3,6,0,3,5,43,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859738956956428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916331100343382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833921014178828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3959445493552433,0.16349702480135345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17876593633257434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997654370398777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409456704956307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11664158568256625,0.0,0.17455572175129525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963015471562296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17482595208971835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846071625305662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13421454680782782,0.0,0.0,0.16330548855338933,0.0,0.0,0.1981223252785406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4083487178149313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718232373477344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383872708693043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17739093961308247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13084098794345947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236184419263481,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,delic8flower,2019/10/04,"Visited home for the first time in a while... suddenly I'm not bipolar anymore. Brain on survival mode? I 100% know that I still have bipolar. But this is so dang strange.

I moved away over a year ago, across the us, in a hypo manic state. For the last year I've been handling my moods really well. But it's been *work*. I have a team of medical providers. I can always tell any fluctuations in my meds. I've had bipolar for like 6 years. I am well adjusted and I am used to feeling the every day variations my brain throws at me.

My trip home has been good but has brought up some shit. I imagine wherever my unconscious mind is, its distracting or suppressing my moods?

Because I have been couch surfing, seeing friends, etc., and I have been bad about my meds. I am NEVER bad about my meds, I don't miss a dose.

I haven't taken lithium in three days straight. I even missed two other nights before the streak. I feel NORMAL. Sleeping, eating, not irritated, no sign of hypo, I'm even working remotely some. I have had really neurotypical, small upsets about some small stressors about being home/overwhelmed at work.

And I feel like, at this point, I'm gonna hold off on the lithium to see what happens. I've always wanted to see me sans lithium but never have the time/life to risk/spare to do it. PLUS I NORMALLY NEED THE LITHIUM.

(This is easily recognizable as a manic thought, but bear with me. I seriously feel nothing.)

I still take lamotrigine in the am.

I have a TERRIBLE feeling that the second I get back home I'm going to fall apart

I am just so thrown. **I wonder if my brain is just like in survival mode right now??** Over compensating?? IDK. Anyone experienced this?",1.226729251120119,3.8458991162079528,2.7122053907972408,89.16215062940044,88.4189602446483,5.8553161226086345,22.283550245359507,7.3071595529392575,1.0613600597397057,1309,48,260,23,43,425,175,327,0.122,0.777,0.10099999999999999,-0.9311,0,0,0,0,0,0,64.0,1,0,0,7,16,18,1,2,17,0,30,11,5,1,2,40,57,15,0,5,11,0,5,3,1,1,5,0,4,0,11,5,1,2,10,1,0,7,7,9,2,4,10,9,37,7,35,45,4,49,0,2,3,0,5,23,2,6,21,166,48,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297109098218418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15576603173146533,0.0,0.0,0.06365146934881602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928264276178818,0.06544756330366958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08794063988002804,0.07197291603244177,0.1563048183009048,0.057057924005697765,0.0,0.07964703095666911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134669449332973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12072900584794685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577655798891747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438916790129933,0.1236443388854886,0.0,0.07886235865622207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23663582718947826,0.06686813149268417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961643698202693,0.0,0.0,0.07231542282806702,0.0,0.04890233630099355,0.0,0.05319525402445836,0.07850755945198916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827705085459903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3755552587988613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051440322000843,0.07629680388065241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13718525589544636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119067706042265,0.09429253744976683,0.0,0.0,0.09450970319447274,0.0,0.0,0.09948239294928256,0.0,0.06940349713232542,0.1443807695195521,0.0,0.0,0.08783761769826877,0.1834170019316524,0.08981209079704018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848261516111082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199256027699993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07993421467228136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22376215754578266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607944689080243,0.0,0.0,0.09366797892188816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494987717007582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037583843658793,0.0,0.08181085933681932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430824792123818,0.10915827073691543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143397239565752,0.0,0.11258973464912146,0.08084067736102135,0.0,0.0,0.05520793031476253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16831596846617702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150562138650114,0.2044265782761306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18082673129836432
bipolarreddit,rkg036,2019/10/04,"i think i’m addicted to weed? i smoke a lot of weed, like multiple times everyday. i feel like it really helps me regulate my mood, mellows me out when i’m hypomanic, makes me feel semi functional when i’m depressed. but i feel like i smoke so much to the point where i prioritize buying weed over food and i get anxious when i’m close to running out. i don’t wanna stop tho because i feel so much better when i’m high
i am on a Latuda which helps stabilize me a lot but i still get depressed pretty often
does anyone have any experience/ advice?",2.3791964285714258,4.289398526785714,4.581571428571428,82.16342857142858,77.125,8.051428571428572,24.59285714285714,8.841846274778883,1.9222828571428576,433,15,87,10,10,150,67,112,0.10400000000000001,0.708,0.188,0.8612,0,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,10,7,0,0,4,0,3,2,0,1,0,17,16,10,0,1,2,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,1,1,5,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,4,16,4,9,16,4,17,0,2,0,0,2,8,0,3,11,51,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872702314070548,0.0,0.1678656191291396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168192073064579,0.0,0.0,0.1940673502028407,0.0,0.12011556910612176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471810817705356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519292437861952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959151129276182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15032958900494836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16803799753774215,0.0,0.0,0.34743719239024284,0.2454454608810899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20772224423023605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17950040181506502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.230286775821466,0.1814995330215121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517753794498652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29208971901746245,0.0,0.0,0.11466734688558787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25256243645006754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16239167876673072,0.0,0.0,0.17476637955775173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004941437067596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371871551594947,0.14361935765943304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100724360947941,0.0,0.0,0.100168800413304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PrettyPopping,2019/10/04,Mom is playing doctor My mom telling me I'm close minded because I don't want her to send me research. It feels like she's playing doctor and thinks she knows better than accredited professionals. I told her that's where I get my information from as well as my therapy.,3.2432075471698134,5.592990679245286,4.574188679245285,81.14769811320755,76.16981132075472,7.258867924528303,27.581132075471697,8.238735603445708,2.030527547169812,218,9,41,4,5,72,40,53,0.023,0.764,0.212,0.835,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,9,3,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,4,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,1,12,5,5,8,0,3,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,0,1,24,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14375381388648487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20856381589923426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4827439639672361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923778599892175,0.1684700082774904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232063288970226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12960062259593608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11520984501056905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381111917448742,0.5523795699160582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20611726157131324,0.0,0.26968096708750433,0.0,0.0,0.15110407137655232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253363207004656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13909287233678325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120306936035218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sceerdycat,2019/10/04,"Lamictal Hi, I don't have bipolar disorder but I know more people will know about this medication on this sub as opposed to others. I do have severe anxiety and steady mild depression with occasional episodes of severe depression. Any time I mention lamictal on an anxiety or even a drugs sub no one has any experience with it.

After a few failed first line treatments, my psychiatrist prescribed 100 mg lamictal for my anxiety & depression.

3 months later, I'm now on 150 mg lamictal daily.

At first I noticed no side effects except a little irritability when I missed a dose.

Now if I miss a dose, I get really bad tremors, palpitations and anxiety. It makes me afraid to continue taking it because I don't want there to be long term consequences when I need or want to come off of it.

Have any of you had any long term negative effects from lamictal, and those of you who came off of it, what was your withdrawal like and how long did it last? Since quitting kratom and suffering through that withdrawal I'm paranoid about taking a medication daily.
Thanks!",5.975866569978244,7.5261560609137055,6.789227701232778,71.44996192893403,67.07106598984771,11.1108049311095,34.37599709934735,11.062562989136584,4.323225090645397,852,40,147,27,14,282,120,197,0.294,0.6579999999999999,0.048,-0.9953,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,3,0,6,9,11,0,1,7,0,12,6,0,4,0,24,28,13,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,13,9,0,1,4,0,0,2,5,9,0,3,4,0,16,2,25,22,4,27,0,7,0,0,6,8,0,3,18,97,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13417063891628506,0.0,0.3368368086850392,0.0,0.37892094548276745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339356011180396,0.0754861169305835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14162946619875486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666928445967634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199659047250969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14192084493861554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436044345007203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178908701605282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113030068752348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21066086004186105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469649116268046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610835757412926,0.10093864365954852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060497482445158623,0.12411101055718655,0.0,0.3287591300096959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826580321761578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24949304173435224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09884057703329413,0.0,0.0,0.09181898204706802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14098220635435282,0.0,0.0,0.08391096663657946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858486970307626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317093169408673,0.0,0.0,0.07932919249535683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797871532409939,0.0,0.10243413178514556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18621072749795936,0.0,0.0,0.1140067794663627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220674544664697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14607724889603466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheSuboxoneSusies,2019/10/04,"Be Kind To Yourself I know I still deal with a lot of guilt because of my own journey of recovery: the starts and stops, random days when you’re not coping the best, feeling like I should be over this now and feeling like a burden to your family, despite the reassurance they gave you that you aren’t.

Your path of recovery doesn’t have to look the same as anyone else’s. We all have different perspectives, experiences, and places we start from. If you’re road is bumpy, off the beaten path, that’s ok. If anything, remember to be kind to yourself this weekend.",4.65461009174312,6.086492385321102,4.98797018348624,83.56892775229359,70.10091743119266,8.385779816513761,28.303899082568808,8.841846274778883,2.1171366972477066,446,16,87,8,8,141,73,109,0.127,0.727,0.145,0.2783,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,4,1,2,3,10,1,1,7,1,9,0,0,0,1,19,16,7,0,3,3,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,4,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,3,11,7,14,11,5,13,0,0,1,0,10,4,0,4,10,59,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409638536661203,0.20656367788005456,0.16590014773729048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289387784710425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115674320024688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13001573362359206,0.20784140571272797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106297583930486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16841146437332413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19720410827284612,0.1900511396819463,0.0,0.20387068017384014,0.2880470723998098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4198720830518665,0.11079443843340722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19698377714963453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16929376165585558,0.0,0.0,0.17139365327644826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106297583930486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283742233660501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28538793867794543,0.0,0.16099853007139234,0.1685471606003048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BlackCanary37,2019/10/04,"The Joker Movie Can Heck Off I have never sobbed throughout a movie until now. The Joker is such a fucked representation of mental illness. I can't even get over them playing sinister music over tragic moments in mental illness, and that's just a basic complaint. I can't handle him just being a vague, non-descriptly mentally ill person turned into a calculated villain because ""mentally ill"" but so very few mentally ill people are anything like that. The metrics are microscopic. 

I'm more articulate in this [blog post](https://creativelydisordered.wordpress.com/2019/10/04/october-4th-be-wary-of-the-joker/) I wrote, but I want to give a **trigger warning** for my blog and the movie. I was triggered the entire time, watching an entire film about making relatable moments for me (other than the murdering part) into the makings of a psychotic, uncontrollable, horrifying villain. 

Just take care of yourselves, guys. *Please.* I don't want anyone feeling like I did.",6.299455608330287,9.780432807453424,6.206635001826823,67.43229082937523,71.85714285714286,7.763390573620753,31.209718670076732,8.671277953709913,3.3184202411399344,786,35,105,16,17,247,109,161,0.256,0.632,0.11199999999999999,-0.9773,0,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,0,0,1,0,8,11,4,1,15,0,11,6,0,4,1,18,24,6,1,2,5,0,1,2,0,0,5,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,1,4,0,0,4,7,0,0,3,2,12,4,16,20,3,13,0,2,1,1,6,7,3,0,8,73,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513971435696348,0.0,0.12373877197051256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166198906329688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15330861181177005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09931561861178544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602979246724845,0.1074218181676826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390113551905424,0.07856026123109071,0.1442451953345744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14888642087246073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14692289919600876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20074153895853472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.757670048668957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597187198162005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16283220655154734,0.0,0.10424515988242423,0.13129417964378626,0.0,0.16505720212983999,0.0,0.0,0.1440094889375636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130568531103708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767988314345597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635555130667577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12406806455944087,0.17738004993710202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Anony-mous99,2019/10/04,"Lactimal and sleep Sorry if I’m posting a lot about this guys it’s a new kinda med, I’ve usually taken anti depressants and well... I seriously love my sleep and I have a toddler so sleep has already been gone for awhile but now it’s like I can’t even sleep well.. taken 2 doses now and I do take at night just because that’s the time I got my meds . Doc said it can make people drowsy so they switch to night doses otherwise no difference. I asked if it would make you get energy and he said no he hasn’t heard that. 

But I’m waking a ton at night and don’t feel that heavy sleep feeling and can take a few minutes each time to go back to sleep and it’s frustrating and I’m getting frustrated in the middle of the night.. I was gonna continue until this weekend and do a switch bc maybe it’s just the start of it getting into my system ? 

I don’t feel very tired now.. drinking my cup of coffee and figured I may as get up since ppl in the house were and bf left the light on anyways so didn’t feel like trying to keep sleeping today.. also nervous about dream effects.. I’ve seen it makes you sleep lightly and less REM sleep.. I love my dreams... I actually did dream last night once.. about work.. yay... so just curious how it’s effected anyone else sleep and when you take yours? Any other changes you’ve noticed and anything that’s gotten better?",0.7902352150537659,3.102742229390685,2.4440042562724043,93.06933971774193,85.48745519713263,5.351299283154122,19.82986111111111,6.770275591412753,0.26496137992831503,1058,31,227,13,32,346,153,279,0.096,0.79,0.114,0.7974,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,4,1,4,21,13,2,1,12,1,17,17,11,6,0,40,50,28,0,3,7,0,4,2,1,3,3,3,0,1,16,17,1,1,7,5,0,2,7,5,2,0,14,10,21,8,20,33,5,33,0,1,1,2,15,9,0,5,22,130,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0705750600492246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798082440593975,0.05783523858274859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04918089691093559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050568665528686274,0.07410161729710367,0.0595141865371903,0.0,0.06761056060843977,0.0,0.0,0.05561053970919498,0.0,0.044086333075803764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639622254652314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650624156874493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062290144740934764,0.0,0.0,0.07556026261735234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084724434439274,0.0,0.0,0.06041508366579039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04776747140764245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14627108962607066,0.05166628068782763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15113937101078426,0.0,0.041101805364318435,0.0,0.05784187137915332,0.0,0.0,0.07160935964977759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344895631611543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428240670956048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058951431674342525,0.0,0.0,0.0785771968649992,0.0,0.0,0.07066497177957932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061484899148720025,0.13054541563532096,0.0,0.14482489043354854,0.0,0.07265636737628027,0.0,0.1606651020821473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06984826691620002,0.0,0.33934274142573906,0.0,0.0,0.08233816706740027,0.0,0.07701971911853321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05013841492075157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926371945729358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13758804772580174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059824845095205186,0.0,0.7237343084678934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809576638762809,0.05118931854370412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16312962876959267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843421481862161,0.08312258206194753,0.0685520425743026,0.0,0.0,0.0491013484215928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965158581375671,0.0596725651945077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300508908637364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05265069591694451,0.0,0.0,0.05137490643537205,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LexaOliver,2019/10/04,"Help Need an advice. At the beginning of the week I was pretty normally good. Tuesday I was hitting by a f*cking dépression. I tried to calm me down, had some activities to focus on something else but in the same day I forgot that I had an phone appointment with my psychiatrist. When she called I had nothing to say just like all my words vanished before they can go out of my mouth. I practically said to her I didn't want to talk with her. I stayed on a phone for 5 mins. She was comprehensive and said to me she'll call me back in two week to see if I'm OK, and she said that I can call her, if I fell like I'm losing control. 
Now it's Friday the same week and I'm so depressed, I thinking so hard about selfharming again, I didn't eat, just take my pills, I didn't talk to my mom who I live with since 3 days, just freaking out, really want to kill myself but to afraid of dying. I'm just confused and I don't know what to do. I can't call my doc because I'm to ashamed about what happened Wednesday, but it's going to long to survive 2 weeks.
I'm fucking lost because it's the first time since I was diagnosed that a depression hit me so hard in that short time.
Sorry for the people who' ll read this.",3.411041428244449,3.8167669455252913,4.723002975509272,88.12716411078051,72.15175097276264,7.914763103685052,26.401693751430532,7.928766900206844,1.2713865415426877,943,29,216,12,17,314,137,257,0.16699999999999998,0.755,0.078,-0.9781,0,0,1,0,1,1,24.0,0,0,1,5,13,15,2,3,11,1,16,5,1,1,1,32,41,13,2,6,9,1,2,2,0,1,2,4,0,0,12,9,1,2,2,1,0,3,5,10,0,2,15,7,37,5,34,23,4,32,0,4,1,1,24,10,1,4,20,135,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062647980000777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08361854082292204,0.0,0.13258043749654522,0.0,0.09253437093576693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4441650635205551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12196727223948756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026364166566405,0.0,0.18732459847083105,0.11037434561842506,0.11286061141605452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11127374664749363,0.09084287198516157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09249882668303164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053341890400637,0.0,0.0,0.12360509384460387,0.09121052649839982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616324486098636,0.0,0.19482913202703286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07288978482226112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031073165318892,0.0,0.059763656973866486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625507068266007,0.0,0.09602422721864562,0.09623630379555176,0.0,0.12165834578411522,0.1187085077760624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273613601331201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063337541578859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10654745499492248,0.10434419493742864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539040471053468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063322029403927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087748809626934,0.0,0.06966512171339981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31032548449454656,0.08647874886796234,0.0,0.0,0.08665604663905015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17991072476468936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08371756246359413,0.0,0.12173163139878455,0.0,0.11590818374715145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176304704126003,0.1748109516709334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06967969526857877,0.0,0.0,0.12682069618604938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738310242792447,0.0,0.10622850614975744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12828177123442278,0.0,0.34891617156308513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,86FlipFlop86,2019/10/04,I feel out of control I’ve been denying my diagnoses for years. But I feel out of control right now. Binge drinking to the point of blackout for 11 days straight. People are concerned. I’m being Extremely productive. But how can I be aware that I’m out of control?????,1.92448717948718,4.530831192307693,2.9938461538461536,89.03448717948721,83.23076923076924,5.7743589743589725,29.82051282051281,7.1686216300943375,1.9186820512820508,210,11,40,3,6,67,36,52,0.068,0.893,0.039,-0.3527,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,4,0,11,9,3,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,10,6,0,9,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,3,25,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8097097600625103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15519578538466994,0.0,0.0,0.24424908766308964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23573998187057185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433541652588481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16683258655737196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274868223484445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055090761004968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15496715908098727
bipolarreddit,hbnanan,2019/10/04,I want to be stable :) Hi! I’m 20 and I was  diagnosed with Bipolar 2 a few  years ago. I have been struggling with it my whole life. I really want to be healthy and get better. Right now that feels so easy and within reach for me. I am not sure if this is just me being manic or not though. I am not on any medications. I am curious if it is possible to be mentally stable on your own without medications or if anyone has any good coping mechanisms that I could try out. I’m not really sure if this is a good place to post this but I thought I’d give it a shot.,0.0007883026064838816,1.964329396694218,2.863140495867772,91.11331214240309,85.61157024793387,6.698283534647173,19.225047679593136,7.882392219407189,0.6772792116973942,431,12,101,9,13,152,74,121,0.042,0.782,0.177,0.8658,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,4,6,0,1,3,0,15,5,0,0,2,26,23,12,0,7,13,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,1,13,5,12,15,3,10,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,6,3,72,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573268748675996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24138737082606976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12409937582328115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15696819707453746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417047464778428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18014025417585589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08974011244813918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272689623439677,0.1702566800376928,0.0,0.2977265656231001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12536061844819932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3575884097629446,0.17885987363553302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18543066798029928,0.0,0.0,0.2000840214268832,0.1699784691168672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273987249904721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515684564408846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18554247482313424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3345489237205226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17437493169382015,0.14090069545843947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12049846733140435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093666852276252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19815205091221172,0.0,0.17108608673832287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429243684326736
bipolarreddit,00WELVAERT,2019/10/04,"restrictions for purchasing firearms? Hello, I think as with most people here my hospital records show that I’ve been admitted for intention self harm or a suicide attempt. Also i have a diagnosis for bipolar NOS. 

idek what records show or how they’re accessed. I dont feel suicidal (only when on antidepressants), i just feel the need to protect my home from circumstances in life. 

does anyone have any information that they could provide? thank you.",5.268892405063294,8.369415936708865,5.139731012658231,75.80174841772157,73.17721518987341,9.013291139240506,33.925632911392405,9.516144504307137,3.944074683544304,365,19,58,10,8,113,64,79,0.09699999999999999,0.7759999999999999,0.127,0.1154,0,0,0,1,0,1,11.0,0,1,1,1,5,2,0,0,3,0,5,2,0,2,0,15,11,6,2,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,3,1,0,2,5,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,8,1,9,9,1,3,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,3,1,36,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022338368991281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17197199714510628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768246402598117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20190988595086615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213033305675823,0.0,0.29638196544530193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557347769921718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536665239417161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786217385284531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18751268639680926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19233214387293365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753201728554571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26381654715650243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.553235197266189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328245969251507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16203993420525792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sleepexperience,2019/10/04,"Nervous about Seroquel withdrawal- would it hit me at this point, when would it hit me, your experiences? I've been on Seroquel for coming up on two months, taking 300mg every night. This is my first experience with a psych med other than antidepressants. If I miss a dose tonight will I experience withdrawal symptoms tomorrow? Will it take a couple missed doses for me to experience withdrawal symptoms? Have I been on it long enough to experience withdrawal symptoms? Is it likely that one missed dose could trigger a manic episode, or does it take a couple?Was prescribed it in August to kill my first major manic episode that lasted all summer and it has really been helping me, but I might have to miss a dose tonight. Scared that it will fuck me up. I'm a little drunk rn. Thanks for any insight",4.757172557172557,7.185610891891893,4.955405405405403,79.81204781704784,71.83783783783784,7.526819126819128,28.95218295218295,8.384062270229773,2.2926968814968816,644,26,111,11,13,202,88,148,0.152,0.7859999999999999,0.062,-0.9395,0,0,0,0,2,0,16.0,0,1,0,2,2,10,2,2,7,0,15,9,0,1,1,13,28,5,1,4,3,0,0,1,0,6,7,0,0,0,15,3,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,8,0,4,3,0,12,2,17,16,3,22,0,4,0,1,2,9,1,3,13,77,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573239264495705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859873674916183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10065718784804346,0.13949482106505462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032531077631086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302647240406523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621999407698544,0.0,0.0,0.6166066315783689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144713297639712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11655032183243864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450252634343851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13947854004114174,0.0,0.0,0.102764439136597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061591771270692514,0.1263559517760474,0.0,0.11156859382297313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14003611647214595,0.0,0.0,0.13374107976704416,0.0,0.0,0.1006284223218134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11830880271180542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542876257483842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917755211076027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076411251810303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621875433663374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3931071569060282,0.2843684085515542,0.0,0.0,0.11606895362242348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12315274576860155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791140026824476,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,9amom,2019/10/04,"WHY I’m 37. Why now? From what I can tell, research says the normal age of diagnosis is 25. Is there a reason I’ve been manic and diagnosed later in life? Can anyone relate? I’m struggling. As per usual, lately.",-0.5043853820597981,1.6713995581395409,2.721993355481729,86.4883720930233,99.93023255813955,4.317607973421929,15.445182724252494,6.1826913282559595,-0.09884451827242467,163,4,31,2,7,58,36,43,0.083,0.917,0.0,-0.5171,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,5,2,0,1,0,3,7,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,4,6,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,16,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996417139468364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897960513975433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220781756613608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20167070593548286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797482655138986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2935613652404638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270563853522111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984867364391622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24955642888771054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3144591407384727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5152734673981736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kef1901,2019/10/04,"Can meds stop maniac episodes? I'm tired of embarrassing myself every year + suffering of course, i want a stable life. Is it possible not to have a maniac episode with right meds? I don't mind depressive episodes but man mania is something else, it like a ln enjoyable torture!",5.268653846153846,7.138766250000002,6.0453846153846165,74.8746153846154,69.19230769230771,10.584615384615383,32.230769230769226,10.686352973137794,3.9451384615384613,223,10,39,7,4,73,42,52,0.287,0.525,0.188,-0.7236,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,0,8,3,1,3,0,5,2,0,0,0,6,7,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,3,2,4,7,0,3,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284249150813433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215488567796082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234507956199856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18732560935812465,0.12956817041531327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5891768666180676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677864158828001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2989843357553517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264878222022437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20417155304396686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217273680470492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3048197885525963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15642768189501907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17078649293308076
bipolarreddit,Notthisagain890,2019/10/04,"Stop using word crazy? Do you guys ever cringe at people describing something as crazy or insane? I might just be sensitive but as someone who is sometimes clinically insane it rubs me the wrong way. I feel like if we stopped using the r word as a derogatory term we could also stop using these as well? 
I want to make it known I’m not telling anyone what to do or say, I just want to hear everyone’s opinions about this.",3.2978571428571435,5.112996880952384,4.261428571428572,85.88357142857143,74.23809523809524,7.180952380952381,25.095238095238088,7.957251820313856,1.4123523809523806,334,11,66,5,7,108,62,84,0.218,0.688,0.095,-0.887,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,2,1,0,0,6,3,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,4,1,26,15,9,0,4,7,0,2,1,0,1,1,2,0,1,6,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,8,2,9,12,1,7,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,5,6,42,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14718938226086326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869611716521445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14695360500079338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16648903733518644,0.0,0.17587323490547435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306415886000448,0.13148952307471068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18224421078277908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074442993047604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992038243981693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285869700016926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952541515280156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276011390385372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14636858497508048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559499090723779,0.14169517153940656,0.18203592402966204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.461636750791265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16087290965663562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4768954301826223,0.0,0.0,0.21712179673583967,0.14609495225649488,0.0,0.0,0.1654882970813759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20123615859765984,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Forumspin,2019/10/04,"Meds are in upheaval, uncertain and anxious. Recently I had a severe manic episode followed by a severe depression, followed by a relapse on alcohol and meth.

Clean and sober now. Doc and I are back to the drawing board with meds, trying this and that. We're on the right track, but not where we need to be yet. 

Our most recent try was wellbutrin. Worked wonders for my depression but it's been very activating. I am mildly hypomanic. Lithium is helping but I may need more. From here we're either going to add another anti-manic or switch ADs. 

Ugh. I'm exhausted. I just want to dial in the meds and level out and chill for awhile. It's been non stop. I have hope we'll figure it out, I just dont know when. Can anyone relate?",1.0032236842105249,3.5697289861111163,2.853289473684214,88.10486842105267,89.0,5.531578947368421,21.46783625730994,7.0608816371341465,0.905047222222223,570,20,110,9,19,189,100,144,0.162,0.77,0.068,-0.9169,2,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,3,0,0,1,8,6,0,1,6,0,14,2,0,0,0,31,24,12,0,4,8,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,5,12,1,1,3,0,0,3,2,5,0,0,4,0,11,1,16,17,3,19,0,2,0,0,4,9,0,6,7,74,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17044157107092514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672345253592287,0.0,0.18017329770299131,0.0,0.11151601837558722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226345584415112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27472937452176144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869158995953732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063932445828614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689981538310217,0.0,0.0,0.15840515620073012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764909805542746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.531457542594573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23651305780866144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31494551867610804,0.0,0.0,0.13619980488612732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3603465954059827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333370773416509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21656046548202051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159229746678314,0.09406872098344424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17295529685713734,0.11610739401518813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Singasong70,2019/10/04,"Struggling Here I'm supposedly bipolar but I feel like I've had none of the mania for about 6 years.

Six years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer and went through a pretty hellish year and a half. Plus, recovery time for another year. I experienced so much suffering as I felt my body and cells dying through chemo. I felt the suffering of the world and while I was flat on my back for several months I had a lot time to contemplate how much of a waste my life was. And I felt like I'd been 'dead' for lack of a better word prior to cancer and now I could live life more intentionally if I was going to survive it.

I had a lot of drugs pumped through my body at that time. On top of it, I developed an addiction to Ativan to calm my anxiety on top of it. It took me about 7 tries to get that off my back.

All that to say, for the last 5 - 6 years I have just been so depressed and worsening. I feel like my entire life has lost any meaning. Nothing brings me joy anymore because I know that it is all going to end. Worse, it is probably going to end with me suffering or slowly degrading. 

I used to have kind of seasonal mania and that hasn't happened in the last 5 years. I'm just depressed now. I hate waking up and being myself. I am supposedly cancer free but I feel in ill health. I do not have any energy. I get up to a long list of tasks I have to do for work. I do them and hate it all. 

I attemped therapy for several months but it did not really help, to be honest. I feel disconnected from the rest of the humanity and could establish no connection with this therapist. IN fact, I do not feel like anyone understands what I went through or what I'm going through now. 

Is there anything I can do to get my old self back?",2.430550565053608,3.89871678991597,4.25025016903313,86.51647058823532,75.77871148459383,8.173437650922438,24.91538684439293,8.841846274778883,1.6879115039119093,1342,45,295,29,29,455,168,357,0.247,0.6629999999999999,0.09,-0.9973,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,1,6,15,21,3,1,15,0,30,15,3,3,4,50,60,23,2,4,11,0,8,4,0,0,12,1,0,2,16,15,0,0,11,0,1,8,6,11,0,2,17,10,41,11,54,39,11,48,1,6,0,0,6,13,0,5,31,204,57,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956260981161342,0.0,0.0,0.0777571457298811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193031577502022,0.09198048150354424,0.06710440214397248,0.0,0.08699316803509008,0.06133480537892149,0.0,0.07218484036270806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20235030494202186,0.0,0.05347237525065418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775798730201252,0.0,0.19487092776460427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400721476450388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15110360792664318,0.08903241742745971,0.09103794011563418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017255956660473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538508578200047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217655123232519,0.18799831303693276,0.2526705096611364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13748786638605834,0.0,0.19940974960572785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07756916799525868,0.0,0.0,0.1732076901830968,0.0,0.09324064934197553,0.0,0.0,0.05879585253377895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09134530529729018,0.04820778619230666,0.1430045483997774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858744836634162,0.17141928686050797,0.0,0.07745703073461796,0.07762810029082598,0.0,0.0,0.09575509016422144,0.14915024090916834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955511474501494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14003211822316314,0.0,0.1289663613216117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416825366211339,0.0,0.09204579583669734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924123622544708,0.09457536475368084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619470866866737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975726129724479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09150951220264268,0.19819384354043051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170240790740093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10031373415559937,0.1018479238307475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15344806482901407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974584661812668,0.05955509440075285,0.0,0.0,0.09131803809697367,0.0,0.0757606083763919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16263183176247964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386010295839542,0.0,0.08939263183341355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3389269763957689
bipolarreddit,Sowhatsgoinon,2019/10/04,"I feel like an addict? So I ran out of my anxiety med and couldn’t afford any until next paycheck. No big deal, I honestly forgot about it and just kept taking my other meds (Vraylor) well the vraylor makes me anxious I guess because slowly I was shaky, had a constant headache, irritable, constantly worried about something catastrophic, and I was becoming more depressed each day. Finally I called my doc and asked her to up the vraylor because I thought I was headed for a really bad depressive episode but she mentioned my anxiety and refilled my script. Well I went and picked it up and within a couple hours I felt so much better. I realized that I was mostly having withdrawals and now I feel like such an addict. I’ve been religiously taking my meds because that was an awful experience. Have you guys ever felt this way, and how did you deal with it?",5.927622811970638,7.194462180124228,6.462281197063806,74.8002089215133,66.95031055900621,9.084359119141727,33.26990400903445,9.339509955726095,3.195367701863355,685,30,116,13,11,223,105,161,0.15,0.755,0.094,-0.6399,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,1,11,10,0,1,8,1,11,3,1,3,1,30,25,14,0,1,2,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,7,12,0,2,6,0,0,2,2,4,2,0,15,4,25,6,11,9,4,17,0,2,0,0,10,5,0,3,11,86,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26421973978521074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08241016290874334,0.0,0.1854128529994999,0.13690490043755096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329190120674827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118466762337737,0.22162031107762853,0.13383964814402952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717855410691852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374374556553652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26191652531599857,0.0,0.0,0.13408923481821616,0.0,0.07815449620822454,0.249873456111314,0.2087534509590538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961904621258747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11854248176514386,0.0,0.0,0.12254986267080024,0.17314961197570142,0.23271379406970386,0.13275257795546794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334992758274525,0.11999250451279946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243710847216535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193431143414253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11841003727205307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08089213199645026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40382866319978294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908514281336251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288819465089706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07763440940416183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932943682400404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18223253507678813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620759550881336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09619125426612003,0.0,0.0,0.21792028563278665,0.11233999168534642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306955953428092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LaughWolf,2019/09/25,"I'm falling down a rabbit hole and I'm scared I won't be able to get out For the past few weeks I have been feeling severely detached from people around me. I have a terrifying fear that they are staring at me, that they are talking behind my back, out to hurt me, and that they are not people..

I am afraid that they are not real, that they are either made up from my own head or that they are superintelligent machines pretending to be people, and that they are all planning something.

Colors are too bright. Sounds are too loud. I can't sleep. I'm falling apart.

I feel so isolated and afraid, I can't be sure that I am typing this in reality right now, as I don't know what reality even is any more.

The reason why I am posting is that I just want to reach out, connect with people that possibly have felt the same way. Thank you for reading. I really need this.",4.047537878787878,4.832671102272727,5.0811363636363645,84.7562878787879,70.93181818181819,7.912121212121212,26.03030303030303,8.07648339933343,1.3651643939393936,678,20,144,9,12,223,101,176,0.147,0.792,0.061,-0.9447,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,7,1,8,8,0,4,5,0,25,2,2,2,2,26,37,7,0,2,5,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,13,9,0,0,5,2,0,2,6,5,0,0,3,8,25,3,19,30,6,18,0,1,3,0,9,10,0,1,4,107,38,2,0.16979585121834015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11546700137630835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15115430639526067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305625287144995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214855834690177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19106753867721565,0.17170776834096504,0.0,0.16303064471482542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871132419626615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17425952945427944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18176997053055766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933153592844682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606649399147215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590147220298056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16208935278894304,0.47086025577325796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19141930995322895,0.16261748955874036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16984180038710747,0.19326485172906224,0.10877557016172552,0.17457841451154002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14500472919169335,0.0,0.0,0.16999526819529742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19182098140918616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699184757514299,0.0,0.0,0.13071714174261947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16003058032192669,0.0,0.0,0.13647547345677094,0.0,0.15632520700978456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014999230738723,0.13477604335079552,0.13619998991949228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153214345669349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SgtRandiTibbs,2019/09/25,Exhausted today. How're you doing? Sometimes its nice to talk to bipolar people in different stages of depression and mania. Kinda helps me predict a little better. I did not see today coming. Yesterday I had energy and today its gone. I'm a zombie,2.231583850931674,5.133530543478262,4.929378881987578,71.42586956521744,91.3913043478261,6.976397515527951,21.7888198757764,7.957251820313856,2.3813515527950315,199,7,27,5,7,70,38,46,0.124,0.68,0.196,0.3847,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,0,4,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,5,7,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,3,1,4,2,4,4,0,9,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,1,4,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236518821091585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21783379878112485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178052437486677,0.0,0.0,0.2642058625089462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695001882251209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25345227576225426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17531520802213912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20151268455491386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501048668470285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20325543067721014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7191022466457488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Brownfrank123,2019/09/25,Intrusive thoughts are difficult when it comes to bipolar. An example is when I’m elated I get intrusive thoughts like “I’m god” or “I’m invincible” or “I can control anything” and when I’m in my lows I get intrusive thoughts like “nothing is real except me” or “there’s no point” or “nothing is real.” Honestly if I have bipolar my only goal is to control the mood swings through strong family dynamics and possibly meds in future. I really want to avoid medication. But what are some tips for getting rid of intrusive thoughts when they pop up because it can become repeating.,2.741346153846152,5.6271308981481525,4.4759259259259245,77.769358974359,82.6111111111111,8.508262108262109,32.38176638176638,9.057496981413335,3.7831202279202287,459,26,78,14,13,154,68,108,0.09699999999999999,0.721,0.182,0.8764,0,1,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,1,4,5,9,0,1,2,0,9,3,0,2,0,21,22,12,0,2,7,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,3,4,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,4,0,9,5,10,18,1,12,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,6,8,48,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13521057021160648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015995480326788,0.1814640505259783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14153583658572647,0.0,0.0,0.3685682957654525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548939124903839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575307047550103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605440935050556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825079139077037,0.16552190521882615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3153137837303805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496279342359035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15532311926607795,0.18523133035758726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.374034423234344,0.1052592007378178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5217652680499218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691246047711784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MissDaniel,2019/09/25,"Things are finally starting to settle... I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. After having been manic for most of 2019 so far, and just getting my diagnosis about a month ago, these past few days have been the first where I don't feel like I'm spinning out of control.  No tears, no frustration, no paranoia, no bouncing foot to foot, no talking so fast I'm stuttering... none of it.  I feel grounded.  When I first felt this way a couple of days ago the entire world felt so slow.  I'm liking this pace of life right now.

I've finally been given my first mood stabilizer, and dealing with the very first side effects (headache, nausea, trouble sleeping), but from what I've read that should fade away.  I just can't help but shake this fear that it's all going to spin way too fast soon enough, or that I'm going to fall into a depression.  How do you handle that, or do you just force yourself to live in the moment?",4.656904761904761,5.347800972527472,5.0425824175824205,85.92325091575094,69.49450549450549,7.605128205128205,27.25457875457875,7.492282038375204,1.3497128205128202,715,22,146,7,12,227,115,182,0.16899999999999998,0.8109999999999999,0.02,-0.9693,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,2,0,6,13,9,1,2,8,0,11,5,4,3,1,23,26,11,0,1,7,0,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,13,5,0,2,5,1,0,4,8,6,0,4,6,4,8,2,21,19,5,39,0,1,0,0,5,10,0,3,24,93,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579871715221726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136719649434102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16321164422492188,0.0,0.16101372155608454,0.0,0.1876951018161466,0.15002343454755074,0.12533508029992355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15035976135257514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637490427350807,0.1471572978365001,0.1039586192284402,0.27944162774436954,0.3188173405829641,0.0,0.4951126745597898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602753726492749,0.0,0.16540331049907825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753814617320312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278419183289114,0.14218621499790876,0.0,0.12849571628534515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615167250400175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13891410618722372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455581226530342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12427221160425647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14562383511050386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299891542806586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696245364377048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667618693569656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120068203107595,0.0,0.2310120100473795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Re-re1,2019/09/25,So I'm super unstable today So a little bit of background. I applied for disability yesterday but now I am panicked because I  gave them my counseling transcripts and now im scared that A. They will want to arrest my sister as she abused me while we were minors and B. I just talked under the assumption that nobody would ever really know what I am venting about so I am just panicking and feeling worthless and I feel like I need to hide  thanks for just letting me vent and try to have it make sense in my head,4.788067226890753,5.803391588235296,5.710504201680673,80.0744117647059,69.39215686274511,8.573669467787116,29.27731092436975,8.841846274778883,2.3281075630252097,410,15,77,7,7,135,75,102,0.23199999999999998,0.659,0.109,-0.948,0,0,0,0,1,0,3.0,1,0,2,1,10,5,0,1,3,0,8,1,1,1,1,18,17,11,0,3,4,1,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,17,3,10,12,1,9,0,1,0,0,7,3,0,0,7,58,21,1,0.0,0.2939829310316664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15125231988891902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708839789460172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22443974060468905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509149672369278,0.17725776377520844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546438320537621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680133663362311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636086790826024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25372063598166034,0.0,0.1212194366241414,0.2486825264544373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16562276127666933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18397865209081024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15895273048514716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24841250667794965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19943034192286,0.0,0.2284365732205963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351897912366388,0.0,0.0,0.1684579401437238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14634825367182575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17625811085410864,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,umbilibroke,2019/09/25,"HELP! Interviewing a new Caregiver TODAY after having a rude and ignorant one. What should I ask the new potential caregiver? Long story short, I'm temporarily badly physically disabled but I also have mental illness, autism, but I'm asking here about Bipolar. 

Last Caregiver was super ignorant, passive-aggressive, didn't even know what episodes were and wasn't willing to learn, criticized me for being mixed depressed, the list goes on.....

Today, with my social worker I'm interviewing a new potential Caregiver.

I don't know how to bring up the topic of Bipolar. There is so much stigma surrounding it.

How do I bring it up to her?

What questions should I ask her?

Is there anything, information etc., that I should mention to the potential caregiver?

Can you give me examples on what to say to her?

And due to autism I'm bad at reading people!

Thanks.",3.957983193277309,6.97240783116883,5.106577540106951,74.58574866310164,77.83116883116884,8.558594346829642,29.188693659281892,9.168548406835145,3.3445703590527116,682,31,108,19,17,224,94,154,0.158,0.772,0.07,-0.9243,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,0,2,9,8,1,0,7,0,16,3,0,2,0,18,29,9,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,4,3,1,0,0,7,4,0,2,5,1,0,2,3,6,0,1,4,1,13,2,17,20,2,18,0,1,0,0,16,7,0,1,9,76,20,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302822694135181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406434337209422,0.0,0.4569078033516669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720527753188419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031759214297038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816921778195027,0.10760316256375403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15628195665072173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091978221928126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17906655106029082,0.13279665636237606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14417376613177607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641789973343399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11976053739811506,0.0,0.0,0.4720300781031837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11039474474272408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11294405695804555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18250096808425328,0.0,0.1629580899349962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12955575414809822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16607030990818028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499893258605678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3088468517937877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ForceDefect24,2019/09/25,"Brain vibrating I don't know if it's related to the fact that I'm slowly weening off Lamictal or something else, but I can feel my brain vibrating. It's almost constant and in a very specific spot on the right side of my skull. Kinda distracting, but was wondering if it could be something more serious or even worth mentioning to my doc?",4.5809090909090875,6.189848606060608,5.8276969696969685,76.79154545454547,70.51515151515152,10.734545454545453,32.89696969696969,10.793553405168565,4.048100606060606,272,13,50,9,5,91,51,66,0.068,0.895,0.038,-0.2263,0,0,2,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,3,0,5,3,3,0,1,14,9,7,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,5,0,6,6,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,7,1,32,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635021785291577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5875147474904802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28436677066503,0.0,0.21010024673578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198242754377112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17380510221195625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330542570809284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14461786934624896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22472479494940872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4051644803342832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21712257289846176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28537003892281754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,8342ka,2019/09/25,Seeking treatment again I’m sitting in the car waiting for my walk in appointment to start. I’m happy to be seeing a psychiatrist (thank goodness for state insurance) but nervous she won’t believe me. I present as pretty functional and it’s hard to let my walls down and explain my manic and hypomanic episodes because I’m so embarrassed about it. I’m going to be as open and honest as I can because I only get to see the psychiatrist once for assessment and then they pair me with a counselor. I’m going for substance abuse too but that’s a whole nother subreddit. Thank you all for letting me rant.,4.554102564102563,6.246737572649575,5.515897435897436,78.67076923076925,70.7094017094017,8.276923076923078,33.51282051282051,8.841846274778883,3.016035897435897,484,24,87,9,9,159,76,117,0.138,0.733,0.129,-0.2873,0,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,0,1,1,0,4,7,0,2,5,0,6,0,0,0,1,12,21,12,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,1,1,0,0,4,1,2,0,0,0,3,12,5,18,16,2,15,0,0,2,0,4,5,0,0,4,57,15,0,0.0,0.2472066956459933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543724975958069,0.0,0.0,0.235068127344651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10900685259694724,0.0,0.2371521548013846,0.1749990411144259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22210332735007832,0.1869022830741186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4267012361440136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22219695934590525,0.0,0.15868167039483555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21226395910780732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3325213799498634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14767790718498053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3841791102115029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329413825193668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Persnicketyneighbor,2019/09/25,"How to break it to manic fling that I am over the relationship I’ve posted here a couple of times but keep deleting, so sorry. I got into a weird relationship in the matter of months. Well actually a month. We had known each other for some time but never met. I became manic, within weeks he was talking of marriage and children and I flew out to meet him.

Mania went away and...I don’t know what to think but I don’t think I can be in that relationship. It happened way too fast, I didn’t have time to comprehend any of it, and I would have be a step mother, move 2k miles, and quit my job and find a new one which I’m not ready for but he wants me to do in six months. I feel bad because I went along with it while manic, but it really was pushed hard on me within talking to this person for only a month. I didn’t even have time to process. If it had gone slowly I might’ve been okay seeing where this goes but I am way too overwhelmed coming back to stability and seeing where this progressed and how quickly. 

He has already told his children about me and his mother. I’m so fucking confused. It feels like I’m getting out of a serious relationship and am going to cause heartbreak but we’ve only met once and talked a month?

It sucks because we have a ton in common and I do believe he is genuine and a good person, but mania is filtering everything negatively and it terrifies me that a sane person acted as impulsively as my manic self.",3.715334947538338,4.715460423728813,5.088571428571427,83.60039548022601,71.88135593220339,7.5173527037933825,25.23405972558515,7.793537801064563,1.2712873284907178,1135,33,232,14,21,380,155,295,0.111,0.8390000000000001,0.05,-0.9611,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,2,0,0,2,15,12,2,2,13,1,25,1,0,3,1,49,51,29,0,3,10,2,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,6,18,22,0,1,7,0,0,10,7,8,1,2,15,5,25,4,35,33,3,46,0,2,2,1,29,15,2,3,18,160,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.09796782837167202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11078474961554736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826980613795976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943213172873804,0.07719502903839644,0.08382288541804321,0.12239571058938585,0.0,0.0,0.11310708018829102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312994148662216,0.0,0.08647856983761329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108151886999552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630777837594032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022559665697516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152213114823827,0.07171985848113127,0.0,0.0,0.09175620521165864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281051923710007,0.05245052554351192,0.0,0.057054922955629236,0.08420380423238955,0.08029242233753478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887760585919641,0.0,0.08993125421909752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962328258838328,0.08923276556120235,0.0,0.0,0.05517265895979037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04904631907052083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10649974072448318,0.0,0.0,0.40065853010361785,0.10670050118668917,0.0,0.0,0.07742827656603511,0.09695894017705764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691389590849876,0.06802802161072162,0.1527048402563372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26297450957541485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614750841788804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677894223281167,0.0,0.0,0.06431350081817169,0.0,0.0,0.4311325087619568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999839200304167,0.0,0.10473044931357804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11238030140493148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24207316387602304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12865390968817406,0.0,0.0,0.2341568563240955,0.0,0.0,0.09592858216447014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05921363227629774,0.15937253487017405,0.08052817512331842,0.0,0.0902642048539182,0.1861282439737762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07131539119854471,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RuffleFingers,2019/09/25,"I need help understating what it's like living as a manic depressed person A few questions.

1) what are manic episodes like?
2) do you lose sense of yourself?
3) can your feelings about someone/something change on a dime?

This sounds weird, but I'm at a loss. I just got burned pretty bad by a girl who apparently was going through an episode and I want to understand her. I'll give more details if anyone asks! Thank you all, love you!",1.3844598930481276,4.0280073176470585,2.2777540106951872,92.49534759358288,87.58823529411768,4.502673796791443,23.02139037433156,6.1124844417494595,0.4675882352941181,342,13,68,3,11,107,72,85,0.13699999999999998,0.64,0.223,0.8490000000000001,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,4,0,2,2,9,0,0,6,0,4,1,0,0,1,10,15,4,0,3,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,5,1,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,5,0,0,2,2,8,4,8,13,3,3,0,3,0,1,13,2,0,2,2,38,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706768917093813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281958641924444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20380911985230668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582201323844125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102386562382044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12342176060667462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23415815550089664,0.13872480734628734,0.0,0.1952250611012749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16361172573830707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385049636959063,0.0,0.2155403472000888,0.0,0.0,0.2730798554659434,0.0,0.0,0.22030525756020172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18099334133104528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131343290990252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483323574137634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734422512974047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18791624783463376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22472987055586172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541114918862468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397354871886378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RobotTwenty8,2019/09/25,"If you could shut off your brains ability to judge yourself, would you? Like I know it's a useful function, if we didn't have some extent of judging ourselves then we wouldn't care about being ass holes but I'm just so sick of always giving myself such a hard time.
When I'm not hypomanic all I do is think about how fake the parts of me that I love are, like wanting to help others and really feeling love for them. It's like I know I'm a terrible person and being nice is just a social coping strategy to make people like me and the intense love for humanity is just the hypomania.
It sucks how hard I work to try and be okay with who I am on the outside and on the inside. I've been trying to go to the gym every day, I spend stupid amounts of time looking at clothes I can't afford and thinking about other stupid superficial improvements I want. I'm in school full time so that maybe one day I can feel less useless, and when it really gets bad I try to get more in touch with the spiritual. I still usually feel hideous/stupid/worthless/unlovable/crazy.
Also feel like I should probably start looking for other methods to cope with social anxiety if anyone has any advice on that.
As much as I don't want us to all be self loathing mf's, I'm interested to see who relates and why and also hopefully hear some positivity about those of you who have been able to learn to love themselves in a stable way.",7.229040959040956,5.776857538461544,7.601618381618383,76.94825174825178,64.52447552447552,10.54905094905095,33.01598401598402,9.424239791934726,2.7165662337662337,1120,36,228,17,14,369,162,286,0.146,0.624,0.23,0.9792,1,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,3,4,1,1,17,21,3,0,12,1,23,7,2,4,2,47,57,24,0,11,8,0,7,5,0,3,1,1,0,3,14,14,0,0,9,1,1,1,5,7,0,1,3,11,25,14,37,46,11,23,0,1,3,5,23,10,2,6,16,149,39,3,0.11029667647435504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077806357249774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17640842465490014,0.09177567050919468,0.0,0.0,0.07500552223675874,0.0,0.08437665560760227,0.0,0.0,0.0771220007163334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209311776083233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12312756824636495,0.0,0.0,0.11245481255375253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08806292124252435,0.0,0.0,0.14226446341915264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09292970698629338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22307725467901526,0.07879596771159728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525092226081825,0.10580662241626032,0.06268414302828278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19760831529180345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431237050487555,0.0,0.07392953728660331,0.0,0.0,0.10954948668305414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123233776604175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694269241252201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18524285862130424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.398188227151456,0.0,0.0736238880143611,0.0,0.11080783639942024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108074810690095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747398824794462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944055228906815,0.0,0.0764658278205998,0.09630680355627062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189184721989432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413177505145715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162612505057057,0.08789217099121842,0.0,0.11506348837407245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22486714335522134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780685553024268,0.0,0.0880830683084452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14134731340033468,0.0,0.0,0.1929446371037184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246526097862836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267332132706733,0.0952609151912612,0.12147620653942187,0.0,0.19516751241877053,0.08754836789764091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952559496752222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029729410040724,0.0,0.0,0.07835159440113583,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sevastra000,2019/09/25,"My illness denial rubbed off on my SO Backstory:

I was diagnosed with MDD and SAD in 2011. 
One year later, I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 mixed. 
I remained heavily medicated for one year, with the medications changing frequently due to the negative side effects. I slept 18 hours per day and remained out of work due to head fog, confusion and nausea. After another appointment with a doctor who couldn't remember me month to month yet blamed me for my problems, I chose to wean off all medicine. I managed to find an awful job that I hated and worked there 2 years, followed by another awful job for another 2 years. Went through a year of career/field changes and other uncertainties before finding a job I felt I could tolerate. Pay is shit, but it is good for my sanity. 


Anyway, I told you all that to also tell you I never believed I was bipolar. My diagnosis only came after a manic episode induced by SSRIs. Granted, when I take SSRIs alone, there is a guaranteed manic episode in my future. Unmedicated, I'm just a depressed, socially anxious mess. I tell this to everyone, particularly my SO, who I've lived with for 5 years and would agree with my assumed diagnosis. 


I saw a new doctor yesterday. She informed me she believed I have PTSD (first diagnosis, no doctor has ever asked me about past traumas) but apparently, also believes my bipolar diagnosis holds validity. Ive been prescribed a low dose of Latuda to start treatment. 


My SO doesn't buy it though. He's parroting all the things I've ever told him about why I don't believe I'm bipolar. 


I.e. ""I KNOW unmedicated bipolar people. They're regularly hospitalized. They can't hold jobs. They ruin all their relationships. Their outward moods are noticeable and disruptive. That CANT be me. I'm in school. I have a job. I haven't been in any trouble in YEARS. The Doctor has me all wrong.""


I'm not seeking medical advice. Or relationship advice. I love my SO and that he takes an active interest in my treatment. I should also note that he is not suggesting I stop medication or ignore the doctor. And to be fair, this doctor and I have a ways to go before she really understands my issues. This was visit one, and I intend to follow the doctors orders and take this seriously. 


TLDR: I denied my illness for so long that now my SO is also in denial. Has anyone else ever experienced something similar?",3.960700875406044,6.413736406320544,5.671306502229808,73.64682981886253,74.3273137697517,8.475450090844022,29.54076969663602,9.18016646516576,3.0530880251059846,1880,83,314,46,41,640,232,443,0.14800000000000002,0.789,0.063,-0.9842,7,1,1,0,0,0,62.0,0,2,4,4,23,18,2,1,18,2,30,25,3,3,9,57,53,28,0,5,7,0,2,0,0,2,21,0,0,0,16,20,0,4,10,0,2,6,11,14,0,4,13,4,58,3,44,34,5,54,0,4,1,1,27,14,1,4,32,216,74,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251867088337716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634118482594356,0.0,0.2048975675876397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04355928321455477,0.20150030826910997,0.0,0.07236339695412748,0.0,0.04478842318665299,0.06563144507808621,0.0,0.0,0.0598823474726627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090113901260472,0.2886701233360417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07326132857939985,0.0,0.0,0.13552241839790827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05114233742677977,0.0,0.0,0.04130987871720022,0.0,0.0551700807970151,0.1300280180050006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4589377460277584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0535093482454166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17382299383284686,0.0,0.06120685725148771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06150240277428413,0.0,0.1170893768595339,0.05448475836478663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03640367079388823,0.05372590847686851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06324059625832985,0.06573843700674345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06308081835806686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06685629708648612,0.3178212321462948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03520269960153389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056561331692362174,0.05668625155850445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05781172253038254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25811283766506193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022554442286997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04940280950760572,0.061864273157898636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292651748810869,0.0,0.0,0.13021504062333786,0.04871636350861566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061147305637454026,0.044407352298128915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612915433089063,0.07487632859804691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041034978054530664,0.0,0.0,0.1375412068273146,0.07256130628542988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06482661343084636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06575106405288479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529553618825155,0.0,0.04931231373721419,0.0,0.0,0.045338132568897266,0.0,0.0,0.05355246298640004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14448312549338366,0.0,0.11197298124728684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042554989645568274,0.0,0.06293325959163583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12241371450297542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06668303436514593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050843511764210224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05937919962082201,0.057799258627956575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932649349214953,0.0,0.0,0.04550250686953265,0.07003358322114606,0.0,0.2887431621704273
bipolarreddit,Sienna__Mae,2019/09/25,"Thank you - from a psychologist with bipolar. Earlier today I wrote a post sharing my story around my mental health being investigated by my workplace and registration board. I just wanted to say a huge THANK YOU to this community. Your comments and words of support have brought me to tears. This whole experience has been so isolating but today I've felt heard and validated. It's made a big difference, and I'm so touched that complete strangers took the time to show their support. Thank you for being so kind. ❤",5.289255319148936,7.702597872340426,5.688244680851064,75.20875000000002,70.27659574468085,8.529787234042553,31.96276595744681,9.188382445141503,3.0939617021276598,416,19,71,9,8,133,70,94,0.015,0.741,0.245,0.9683,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,4,1,0,5,7,0,0,5,0,5,2,0,1,0,13,18,8,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,4,6,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,4,11,7,10,9,1,9,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,0,3,45,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16231531849428715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19117302497542665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190499519694924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17835698143725734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17506858820163634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19381180097189116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898721025103914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725282032318015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18374910898710567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746249262753123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14499878044928427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41381939887656816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5036040924588729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632002962243853,0.0,0.3456613498193853,0.0,0.2025790359017384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754492072535264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203568648791962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Buttdays,2019/09/25,"No libido irl but sexual dreams I posted recently about my libido issues on various meds (lamotrigine, olanzipine, propranolol, and in the last two weeks we added extended release Wellbutrin to try and correct this with no success so far)

https://reddit.app.link/HbuMh1uxg0

One strange thing I’ve noticed is that despite having no libido or no/dull sexual feeling irl, I have sexual dreams that feel ten times better than anything I’m doing irl. I always wake up before climaxing (which I’ve done in dreams in the past but not that often) but yeah, feels great.

Again, I’ve tried enhancing lubes  and condoms and a vibrator. I have had tons of unsatisfying sex with my partner and had incredibly frustrating attempts to masturbate. It’s just horrible and I want to have and enjoy it so bad.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this? My dreams have always been very vivid in general.",6.937430107526879,9.259358651612905,6.72879032258065,69.82651881720432,65.70967741935485,10.069892473118278,32.27150537634409,10.317481424215053,3.8673763440860216,721,30,109,19,12,227,105,155,0.124,0.653,0.223,0.9621,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,0,3,6,7,1,0,3,1,12,3,1,0,1,23,17,13,0,1,6,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,9,10,0,0,3,4,0,0,4,2,0,3,4,5,9,5,14,13,2,14,0,0,1,2,2,7,0,2,7,72,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3172354729704838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13329150437111148,0.19532087593373995,0.3137411427424366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15916638695250465,0.0,0.0,0.1622103564902571,0.0,0.0,0.1685949424619194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19507859123332436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592452026235815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891616781621517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101680026888392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19896606715092605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538723299404505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931311939554653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21174469340425126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21703119987115094,0.0,0.0,0.12917444152995894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18197596112482087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825688945571258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882221163864136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664474845913296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115669848213232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258847748080341,0.0,0.18621582097252104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572880340286447,0.1124373118480576,0.0,0.15291025378491885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,aeeiiou,2019/09/25,"DAE when not hypo/manic still feel driven to explore every fucking nook and cranny of the world? I have had this habit since before my first episode. I've had it since I was a child. I feel driven to explore and discover and understand. It's not mania. It's not hypomania. It's just who I am.

I fucking love Marguerite Yourcenar: ""The rules of the game: read everything, learn everything, inquire into everything."" That's fucking me! When my mood goes up, yeah, that impulse gets me into weird sex cults, and I make plans for saving the world years hence, but it's still recognizably ""me.""

The only time I really felt out of control was scary as shit and it wrecked me for eight years, but I stopped taking lithium earlier this year because I lose my drive to learn, which is the only thing that keeps me going. I kinda want to go back on a subtherapeutic dose, just because I can be a bit too fucking intense for most people, and I attract women who like my intensity without understanding why they are attracted to it. Will 600mg make a difference between times?",5.39374115983027,6.628566153465346,5.926251768033946,78.2731683168317,68.15841584158416,8.543705799151343,31.26025459688826,8.841846274778883,2.6010214992927883,841,34,152,14,14,272,124,202,0.08199999999999999,0.826,0.092,-0.3094,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,6,8,13,5,0,10,1,11,8,1,3,0,36,31,11,0,1,8,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,16,9,0,3,10,2,0,7,4,7,0,2,7,3,22,5,19,22,2,26,0,1,0,6,7,7,5,2,13,100,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985503168471107,0.0,0.1562553471326708,0.0,0.10905824814953076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13992205274594918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374698728160934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13390425377870807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10798382032177192,0.0,0.34555700991478844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296072858095092,0.0,0.1230576785745917,0.0,0.0,0.10901635675397807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4739427495007042,0.06696047628325302,0.0,0.14567727494909052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11391818137443005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06261452770721987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14338289578037314,0.0,0.0,0.11567314524436648,0.0,0.1711011247653161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949492160157632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885288117128218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281988286136369,0.0,0.08210523348628039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155865366516106,0.2120374112638561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20470410442620698,0.10715096451180628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09636348724818387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514656340774764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14946708790785596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26684679099125136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559453367903887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11564820672441715,0.0,0.0,0.1235456627867424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476005231724744
bipolarreddit,Texastornado81,2019/09/25,"Life with kids, especially those with special needs is almost impossible to handle anymore. Real speak here. No hiding anymore.

I have 2 sons, one is 16 & is a mostly wonderful child, the other, severe ADHD, ODD, & sensory processing disorder. I'm married, have been with this person for over 17 yrs. 
I feel that I need to leave my family in order to function before I have a nervous breakdown or beat the ever living fk out of my youngest to maybe beat some sense into him. 
Hes 12, in the 7th grade. Smart as fk. Hes in advanced classes, been accepted into programs in the district that's only reserved for kids in the top 5% in the district, & hes been accepted into a prestigious program for college prep nationally. However, he refuses to do his school work, his chores or anything really that needs to be done. The more you try to help him or push, the worse it gets. So I try to back off, but I loose my shit EVERY FKING DAY that I hear another fking lie from the little shit. I cant do it anymore. NOTHING & I MEAN NOTHING works for thos kid. No punishment, no taking away toys, beating his ass, giving positive attention, NOTHING WORKS. I feel this kid is a lost case. He acts like a fking addict. Like he gets great joy in making me miserable. I've had him in therapy, doesn't work, meds, same. Had him tested ect ect ect. My husband says I need to accept that this is the way he is. 
My husband, now that's a different story. He works rotating shift work. He does nothing in the house. Hes only ""available"" 7 out of 28 days not consecutively. He refuses to help me with the kids, so I'm kinda left to do everything on my own. If I'm going to have to raise the kids by myself, I'd rather live on my own. He can deal with the house himself. I'm so done with this mess. I'm done with a husband that makes the excuse that well I work so your on your own. Well.. I'm done with a marriage to a partner that isnt even a damm partner. My sex life is nonexistent. My kids are shits.
 I have 2 choices to make. get busy dying or get busy living. I'm already dead in this relationship,  so I guess it's time for me to get busy living...
I guess this makes me a selfish bitch. I mean who wants to leave their kids? Here's the thing, one of us is going to get seriously hurt. So its better I leave the situation before it gets to the point I beat the fk out of people. That the rage gets so bad that I cant turn back from it. 
Meds you say? They only make things worse. Stress is the worst thing for me. I cant handle stress. I was doing well for awhile. And then my dad moved in. Him & his wife do nothing at my house except for being a warm body to be there if the kids needs something. They dont pay rent, or anything really. They dont help with the house, they rarely contribute to the household. All they do is bitch & complain. Add another stressors to my life. I cant handle more adults making it worse for me to even live in my house that just dont help my problem but make it worse. 
So kick them out you say. Ya ok. They are on a limited income. But refuses to get put on housing waiting lists. I'm so sick of them that I cant even look at anyone anymore. They say they have a place to move to, but are waiting to have it ready. I'm holding my breath. 
All these issues are my own fault of my own making. I did this to myself. I honestly thought I could help people & all I'm doing is enabling the situation. Making it worse for EVERYONE. 
Oh and to top everything, I agreed to take care of my friends daughter for a bit until she could get her shit together. Well, she is unable to do that apparently. So. I would move out next month, but I'm unable to because shes with me. Until she moves out, I cant leave. Again, a mess of my own making. 
Now starts the path where i go into self destructive mode. I call up old friends. They call me back. I have several that want a boody call situation. One in particular calls me up to hang. I was in love with him for so many years. passing up the opportunity would've been terrible. But I was on my cycle. I still gave him blow jobs. He was drunk, I hated myself & still do. Hes a drunk. I really dislike drunks, but it's what I know ya know? 
I've never felt like I belonged in my current life. Like I deserve what I have. I do have great kids. my husband is a wonderful father. I'm just a shitty wife. And mother. I mean who can say that they cant be around their kids anymore because looking at them makes you sick. Makes you hate yourself even more because you failed yet again at life. 
Wouldn't be easier for everyone if I just died though? Like then they wouldn't have to worry about me. I wouldnt have to worry about them. My husband would have to have someone else take care of him & the house. Maybe that would be a good thing. It would force ALL OF THEM to grow the fk up. Wo me. It would be better. They dont deserve such a shit life. or wife or mother.",1.1381321419365946,3.213063175024587,2.949862244751841,91.49983245983336,81.94985250737462,5.916082901356551,20.788240685053125,7.109358931909901,0.4676669988830664,3807,111,832,50,103,1266,370,1017,0.184,0.682,0.135,-0.9969,7,0,1,0,0,0,161.0,1,10,19,21,44,58,12,4,51,1,94,22,8,12,6,115,169,37,3,22,23,14,4,5,4,8,9,7,2,17,48,26,3,7,15,4,2,14,21,29,4,3,19,13,135,29,123,133,18,92,0,4,2,3,124,51,8,18,30,532,183,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038761727818537414,0.04273188699923061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035604601700628784,0.0,0.039237375105584255,0.0,0.0,0.3467281321813256,0.0,0.0,0.07456797796619183,0.0,0.0,0.1763119884570256,0.024861863850320503,0.0,0.058519780475948927,0.03165273725002191,0.0,0.0,0.03340641125877845,0.08202203790261453,0.02968811148640803,0.06502456011828575,0.0,0.060511760553687226,0.0,0.0,0.06289349835336258,0.03881838327502834,0.03949514834634359,0.0,0.0,0.14522825247672574,0.0,0.07250424556043936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05677778942084553,0.0,0.0,0.045861877122137386,0.03665709043063003,0.0,0.0,0.07380386579481563,0.037148873557310176,0.0407507185382412,0.0,0.031115648057360636,0.14554618160364588,0.16668735899622725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029702812381958942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09393867591282958,0.03216280234379234,0.029957803237514968,0.06795133400212951,0.06391160502578874,0.0,0.03351941250529547,0.0,0.03595677162430225,0.0,0.03413972306793532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0549415778334701,0.0,0.18576753139558352,0.03410894189131453,0.06062257002157075,0.02982302404842716,0.0,0.07840212012306128,0.0783387735950712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07020917380526252,0.0,0.0,0.040074650575659385,0.0,0.11916353786627425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28719120785261365,0.03806386502877939,0.0,0.0,0.03711164710518603,0.035284243740543134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03908173864526132,0.0,0.0,0.15059638823015326,0.03863213612171018,0.0,0.15068723467985792,0.08685531291971804,0.03563685701631878,0.15698477727916324,0.0,0.059716847170844425,0.0,0.03881401432564388,0.0,0.03209104210954219,0.0,0.28481010289298103,0.03604861205436702,0.07144237225493882,0.1161940404296406,0.07899029669268717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028380781812448026,0.1511633181839466,0.0,0.13182311222450332,0.027423290136443818,0.0,0.03781463818990288,0.0,0.0,0.17058663919604172,0.0,0.03731046393558488,0.0,0.07228181706129196,0.08112674061686041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049300666030962496,0.031046479806487545,0.037148873557310176,0.0,0.03361229387637873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034022675872548966,0.0,0.03574400596812115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040470971137586166,0.06833502710561958,0.0,0.0,0.03817427043254888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14137939480112424,0.0,0.035984978311881105,0.0,0.0,0.03709308310894571,0.08033722979362869,0.1824906846668879,0.0,0.11990066088077797,0.0,0.0,0.030126825052926312,0.02737305631791603,0.0,0.0,0.02516700519815598,0.0,0.0567907790633666,0.0,0.0814594794835632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020197048945744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04066184583917909,0.0,0.09448837743724824,0.0,0.03493398562176645,0.02822781245807055,0.02073322464738311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04828092758873733,0.0386751564116812,0.0,0.0,0.04276997511430992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04194417569299022,0.02822301785186884,0.0,0.0,0.127877906544041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07711880508809947,0.18119839506905705,0.07221850681244364,0.18117506268536515,0.15154949205388182,0.0,0.0,0.02289715790323577
bipolarreddit,badcaseofthemeanreds,2019/09/25,"In desperate need of help for a family member I am at a complete and utter loss right now. My spouse has been diagnosed bipolar by two separate doctors yet absolutely refuses to accept the diagnosis. One parent and one sibling have also been diagnosed. The reason for denial being given is that it's a conspiracy between me and the doctors to have her hospitalized. She thinks I told them to take her away. One doctor did actually suggest hospitalization to her and she has since spiralled completely out of control. She hates me. Won't speak to me. She threw away her wedding ring, wants a divorce and went out and got totally drunk tonight. She won't take medication. She has been on a spending spree buying dozens of sunglasses, handbags, shoes, and jewelery, and the credit cards are all maxed out and the cash had been drained from the bank accounts. The amount of credit card debt is as high as her yearly salary. I'm being told by my doctor to just keep calm and carry on, even if she is in a rage and screaming at me. The insults are so malicious and personal I will never forget them. I love this woman and desperately want her to be healthy because I know she isn't happy, but also because we will soon be bankrupt and could lose our house. We have three small children and I'm feeling very helpless right now. What on earth can I do?",5.080996904024765,6.713086007843138,5.747739938080495,77.75851393188854,69.31372549019608,8.505675954592363,30.67595459236326,8.99025400887824,2.6753137254901964,1072,44,191,20,19,348,155,255,0.142,0.8009999999999999,0.057,-0.9704,3,0,0,0,1,0,24.0,3,0,2,3,9,13,3,0,14,0,30,11,1,2,3,39,49,22,0,5,3,2,1,0,0,4,8,3,0,3,4,20,1,3,5,1,8,2,4,7,0,6,12,4,31,6,31,28,3,25,0,3,0,1,34,16,0,1,7,145,35,6,0.0,0.0,0.11692340388669645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19163406888999052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22514267509284802,0.0,0.0,0.1460777822791881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512501763343858,0.0,0.134384144266009,0.09566354866020256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24322200066471036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.490548151443709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913752178384956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11295212377833305,0.0,0.060582710370234175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09582802315874753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12754665619426145,0.0,0.11829376915203492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08031032570638927,0.1265924763636078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13825189828343126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10649821335282594,0.0,0.0,0.06584789307143478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340437675683583,0.0,0.0,0.10813886907952402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12070229504637925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884225215149508,0.0924097002419535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435718330785197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13304179771953648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046189526570578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319108943569038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046448939570494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09911326353313646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18017385988015652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677343314686873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22897917700373865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704309388473708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09886097774945224,0.14134149051408074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110708903452648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715775487561831
bipolarreddit,cr4ckh34vibes,2019/09/25,"i give up i haven’t been to class in weeks, i’ve been unemployed for almost a year. i have $7.20, i’m 19 and have never been able to anything for myself. i’m a burden to everyone in my life. i have few friends and none that i can talk to. i see no reason to continue struggling like this, the only thing i look forward to is my very rare manic episodes or my frequent drug abuse. i’m stuck with this disorder for the rest of my life so if this is how i’ll feel forever then i’d rather just end it now.",0.6686486486486487,2.192611225225228,2.7714324324324338,94.9630945945946,80.89189189189189,6.241801801801803,21.009909909909908,7.1686216300943375,0.33920828828828764,390,11,95,5,10,132,74,111,0.155,0.7929999999999999,0.052000000000000005,-0.8807,2,0,1,0,1,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,4,0,10,3,0,2,1,12,18,7,0,2,4,0,1,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,4,3,12,2,14,14,3,12,0,0,2,0,3,4,0,3,10,61,18,2,0.22396238507984584,0.26535880371939186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.224265977357968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18430196008878044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566802964925945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25972526334126145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983641976230008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21400565664095286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113242111213099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17303278314997195,0.0,0.0,0.21484512744224016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163825118729997,0.10941670857297482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188071997099034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17273359821666215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17033348598481166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302706327446432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784690244008916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341341123326247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18001248158281358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14879065698520946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18479242292929304,0.0,0.0,0.17964911610823656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14422443309619176
bipolarreddit,Shitstorm2019,2019/09/25,"Went off Lamictal, want to go back on but doc wants to wait 4 weeks just to see what happens I started getting depressed on it, and had the awesome idea to go off the medicine so that I could find the balls to kill myself. Long story short; not dead but I did have a very dark week and a half after stopping. I feel way better now, TBH Lamictal was making me feel dumb as in I would lose words and objects 50 times a day also with added difficulty learning new things. I feel sharp again, and I feel normal at the moment but I’m scared shitless about not being 100% next month as I have an important obligation coming up and I can’t get suicidally depressed again. 

Essentially he told me it takes about 4 weeks to notice change from Lamictal and 4 weeks to notice change after stopping and we should see if it was actually doing anything. And in the back of my head I’m also very anxious over the prospect that maybe I’m not bipolar, it just seemed like the answer after years of unsuccessful depression treatment. My life is a hot mess",5.440859728506787,6.063718470588242,5.742745098039213,81.83966063348419,67.72549019607844,8.433785822021116,29.417797888386122,8.384062270229773,1.991596983408748,824,28,161,11,13,263,129,204,0.20600000000000002,0.6940000000000001,0.1,-0.9801,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,1,0,0,2,12,10,2,1,12,0,13,3,1,1,0,40,37,17,3,7,9,0,6,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,11,0,3,9,1,0,4,4,8,0,1,6,8,15,2,27,27,0,38,0,4,2,0,3,10,1,2,24,101,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.11327402387063458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18565284085388706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13113352565910802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09552115693211033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17851149111554834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266032574558376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455873173233173,0.09998971853209572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267772519679733,0.0,0.0,0.07485980853235268,0.0,0.2999298337416342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23476728020253795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10609191560307807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212904722130404,0.0,0.13193802112861638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264615994075413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11912808655843167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13103636005179986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842156711449085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08198834009317682,0.05670916676935744,0.0,0.0,0.10272414419651983,0.0,0.12986003163200424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748203631041782,0.0,0.11661455316926493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265124001881762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210751005340484,0.12344878806759105,0.0,0.11373042915200288,0.0,0.2643079721179626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11621293301728168,0.0,0.1849960540745869,0.10567178319159733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215961965312935,0.0,0.0,0.19409048150647856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12696896771540142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727516231355355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771161396713827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768520282010733,0.0,0.0,0.11091617203915027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915507140780372,0.1369299801254307,0.09213620746352943,0.3724386089919707,0.0,0.0,0.10760417731675084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08245749098694374,0.0,0.0,0.07474952898270687
bipolarreddit,SubstantialMess,2019/09/25,"I literally have no idea what I feel anymore I never know
I’m never happy, maybe for a minute at a time
I’m never relaxed, nor even on a bunch of klonopin

I literally saw a man get hit and killed by a car last night , I was distraught I was upset I cried for 3 seconds then I walked home (after I called 911) 

I have no idea what I’m actually feeling anymore st anytime, I constantly want to cry, and it’s especially worse during your period cuz now it’s extra crying for nothing not just typical everyday crying for nothing


I’m tired !!!!  And my new psych wants to put me on a bunch new meds and I’m scared of what that mean I’ll have to change my life, how I eat and even how I’d feel

I don’t know anymore and I’m truly just tired of being a sad sack of shit",1.3617662337662355,2.784952800000003,3.81006493506494,88.73795454545456,78.57575757575758,6.653679653679656,22.69480519480519,7.447530270364453,0.7732077922077925,592,18,135,8,14,207,95,165,0.273,0.6659999999999999,0.061,-0.9893,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,7,8,2,3,7,0,7,5,1,3,3,25,24,11,1,2,3,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,6,6,1,0,8,1,0,3,8,6,0,1,3,4,17,2,16,19,3,20,0,1,1,0,3,3,1,0,14,79,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.11132764851965464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3394162904594427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649055356581794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068370845146173,0.0,0.0,0.12328219451680195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.501255209379118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11673444319610915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15070026901382982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17304997448589138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059603175546837986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12144249002887253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443362276165893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575695527829396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621491315955302,0.0,0.12539304967070972,0.09299211733711796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08057954327664127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11461077786316813,0.12426882382147195,0.1267194671991798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.263961387191022,0.22036235756739314,0.0,0.10705829911810552,0.0,0.21892965526458005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468399490804665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421605870699633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11710361043341902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06652217527068796,0.26224112578534925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345771270262004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625938057980703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DysfunctionalDemon,2019/09/25,"DAE skin crawl when they are manic? I’m not sure if that was a physical warning sign that mania has secretly been getting worse for weeks or what and I didn’t realize anything out of the ordinary until it’s too late when shits completely hit the fan and I desperately want shit to stop but it’s not stopping. 

My sleep has been getting less and less and I had like an hour or two of attempted sleep last night, I don’t know if I’ve been eating enough because I forget food is a thing, reading is very difficult, thoughts keep scattering, and any attempt to bring it down with meds hasn’t touched it and I’m worried if I somehow became tolerant to where it’s just ineffective completely.

I know my family has been stressing me out so much lately with so much shit with my grandfather in the hospital and taken off hospice and all, so i can’t say I’m surprised this went this way. I just I don’t know what to do right now. I can’t turn off my fucking brain and if I read is like my own reading voice is yelling the words out. 

But the skin crawling thing. It’s like my skin is on fire or crawling or shit. I’ve been trying to calm it down but nothing is working and I’m just at a loss what to do right now.",3.854105929224282,4.5433955776892425,4.788952425591749,87.02571595969067,71.31075697211156,8.296320599953129,29.107335364424657,8.4952907291091,1.900471572533396,954,36,208,15,17,311,132,251,0.165,0.754,0.08199999999999999,-0.9664,0,0,0,0,1,0,14.0,0,0,1,5,13,15,5,1,9,0,25,13,10,0,2,48,43,27,0,5,16,0,5,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,16,16,2,3,6,3,0,2,8,9,0,1,11,8,20,6,23,31,7,29,0,1,0,1,3,13,5,9,16,137,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075880912694861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182408366631596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06802054052043495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456459175020745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339872981841452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417823829241301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152960491034462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051914177838378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13492775582585026,0.0,0.0,0.10315756416773053,0.116596017323501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988771433570024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918094214868016,0.0,0.0,0.1839708630142146,0.0909558125428004,0.2517431127650909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16354284562667618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394461416883527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640540852155698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471397860999868,0.0,0.10706780990971576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3348424400087461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19058416803044254,0.0,0.08873603606388812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4581572866032902,0.0,0.0,0.22332907012485426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18657835797940744,0.12781903825813976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051665527741645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14826283702240142,0.0,0.0,0.08858519262327827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07575817780481295,0.1213712959710649,0.10900130582497343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09206844515265476,0.0658151050264229,0.08857014607602763,0.08950591442519683,0.0,0.0,0.103439439995486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123444489905174,0.1133189181139816,0.11371357841035198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Turtlphant,2019/01/14,"Please tell me I will be okay. I’m having a bad episode. I am depressed. My thoughts are so negative when I am like this. I see the cycle I am in. Now I’m in the depressed part of the cycle. How do I get through this? How do I not commit suicide? The negative feelings I find myself with and the thoughts I have, what if they are true? What if I am right? I never know when to trust my emotions or not. Is the world truly as horrible and bad as I think it is right now?",-0.6950000000000003,1.297818029411765,1.6073529411764724,98.67808823529413,89.29411764705883,4.576470588235295,20.264705882352946,5.985473137389443,-0.14791764705882304,357,12,87,3,12,120,60,102,0.244,0.596,0.16,-0.9208,0,0,0,0,0,2,13.0,0,0,1,0,7,8,0,0,7,1,14,0,0,2,3,19,23,12,1,2,5,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,6,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,2,17,4,8,19,1,10,0,2,1,0,2,5,0,3,6,69,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3702458677115702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3819259597501644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493997618647596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210586867609876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026436792713817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11583704286088263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218488774792584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831884915294668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17100043323271422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24009595938027414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433767135953067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3786871446817123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17667831160960829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24252044677371934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19378886033492512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14206614992261607,0.0,0.35203421146955205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sam2times,2019/01/14,How do we get through the normal stages of life like this? I’ve [19F] been recently diagnosed as bipolar and I really struggle with seeing a future for myself. I’m in college and I’ve lost all motivation this month. I don’t see myself getting married because I keep causing problems in my relationship. I don’t see myself having kids because I don’t want to give them the mental illness that I have. How the fuck do we move forward from here? My dog saves my life every day. And if it weren’t for her I would have nothing. ,1.95844155844156,4.338987285714288,3.6412987012987017,85.95779220779222,80.90476190476191,5.7229437229437226,25.73593073593073,6.980632752743323,1.2820476190476184,415,17,79,5,11,138,71,105,0.138,0.8009999999999999,0.061,-0.8382,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,2,0,1,2,3,6,1,1,4,0,11,6,0,4,1,18,22,7,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,1,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,3,3,17,2,10,18,1,9,0,1,3,1,7,3,1,1,6,54,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322463761599165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19568949817371548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285267381431145,0.0,0.0,0.19334709007555773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049915355755173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17610835100789846,0.19905018609729214,0.18273890975571447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16931954834464466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691026600125697,0.09306559693358472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20794637030112506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919728394795797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152050249548849,0.2024646502375421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866433749871836,0.1827838375338985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822767389188584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203513857840625,0.0,0.18808954200652409,0.2045189376378789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4553964336885344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19914537012615488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235811654847816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13532125505487394,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,misshapenbonsai,2019/01/14,"Could psychiatrists diagnose teens with bipolar back in the late 90s / early 2000s? Hey, so I just crashed into depression hard and fast and it got me thinking, when I was a teen and obviously showing signs of bipolar, my parents would threaten to send me to a psychiatrist if I didn't smarten up.  I always told them ""yes send me please I need help"" in fewer words and they would punish me.  What I'm wondering is, would it have done any good?  I'm currently feeling extremely bitter towards them for not getting me the help I obviously needed, setting me back years and resulting in a failed career, but is that bitterness justified?



Thanks for any input you guys can provide",5.091840000000001,7.139092304000004,5.616199999999999,77.06110000000002,69.96000000000001,8.840000000000002,32.5,9.3871,3.23372,538,25,93,12,10,173,90,125,0.128,0.733,0.139,0.3271,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,3,1,5,7,3,0,5,1,11,3,0,1,2,25,22,9,0,7,4,1,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,4,7,0,0,3,1,0,2,2,5,0,0,5,4,17,2,12,13,0,17,0,2,0,0,12,6,0,2,8,62,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716715490421604,0.0,0.0,0.2568960698767162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904812639120185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15080901841904776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16268606695987087,0.1917139375022024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932945699910223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550575127160596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868443047771053,0.0,0.0,0.15842747767773094,0.1510683046155972,0.0,0.0,0.1870254937982404,0.0,0.0,0.16920354015128922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25321079049063444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21307010548208227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28011114011032623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097340439884359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073386179370456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738996025912113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102965294194995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18048737165810932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20483733895980466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4025346948460122,0.0,0.0,0.12163551780355683
bipolarreddit,Paranoia_Incognito,2019/01/14,"I don't have Bipolar! I have a neurological disorder called, ""Kaksisuuntainen mielialahäiriö"". It's usually treated with the same meds they use for epilepsy.  The perfect way to not freak people out if you have  to tell them you are bipolar. ""Kaksisuuntainen mielialahäiriö"", means  Bipolar in Finnish. No one I know understands Finnish and no one gives a  shit enough to actually look it up. So everything in the title is  technically true but it doesn't immediately invoke fear and prejudice.  So to all my friends who also have, ""Kaksisuuntainen mielialahäiriö"", I  hope you are all doing well.

​

Pro Tip: Google translate is your friend, it will say the word for you so you can learn how to pronounce it.",5.643104212860307,8.371036089430895,5.271722099039174,77.1830155210643,70.21951219512195,8.375166297117516,32.320029563931996,9.095868883498916,3.098421138211382,561,26,95,12,11,172,83,123,0.086,0.733,0.18100000000000002,0.9305,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,6,2,1,6,11,2,1,6,0,13,5,1,2,4,20,20,9,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,1,4,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,4,1,2,0,2,13,7,12,19,4,6,0,0,1,0,15,4,1,2,1,69,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.19894684044081348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16303405160623566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20817315268299452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23365165957808484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21065128568780853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18322440825873,0.0,0.0,0.2294094249152776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150175334597391,0.0,0.0,0.19556982466160136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20248802403015573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204112984036227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17119870454731947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22207322433665866,0.2264526194242689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762939668223956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413371696210644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16212489698520868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20926870916372128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17819058584349404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21223493073040084,0.0,0.17607745201207328,0.2245330194929295,0.0,0.0,0.1618218082020519,0.0,0.0,0.18330281133170406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wellshii18,2019/01/14,"Fuck Fuck.Thats right.Fuck.
I got back on the road as a truck driver and already want to quit .Just started this trip Sat with many delays.
Waiting on disptach for several fucking hours.
Fuck.Good fkn pay but for what?
Lose my shit on some fkn idiot that drives like shit and end up in jail or shot by racist asshole trigger happy cops?
Recommmend me a job someone.If not.Im.getting my engineering or writing degree.
M
I was hoping to save enough to start a trucking business.Maybe not.
12 gauge from Walmart sounds pretty fkn good right now.",1.5433131067961163,4.264236310679614,1.8138288834951448,93.52423847087375,93.6601941747573,3.7400485436893214,21.97148058252428,5.602791699666715,0.2398936893203887,432,16,80,3,16,130,83,103,0.209,0.594,0.19699999999999998,-0.3632,2,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,3,11,5,0,4,0,1,4,2,1,0,16,10,6,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,6,0,0,3,1,5,5,14,7,2,16,0,1,0,2,1,7,4,4,8,38,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15536536732607736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825889018044528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469823266764415,0.14547380044693525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6507908562792114,0.0735570120959132,0.0,0.0,0.2361760986095572,0.11260269787368778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987367075755573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398363285772336,0.1386498804698735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15207745890120147,0.0,0.13971244189553694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878292729664721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15750810007159033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14273905525920108,0.14144257073984576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432341383651386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974759287954015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404679383552014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15905272948635935,0.289038012156152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993039033109185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304164391979804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,behindmywall,2019/01/14,"Anxiety level: 1,000,000 - Husband's surprise Christmas present For Christmas my husband bought me a 6 week training program at a local boxing club. I've never done class-like exercising, so I was pretty concerned that my social anxiety would be a problem. I was right.

The training program includes a strict meal plan and weekly weigh-ins. If you lose 20 lbs in 6 weeks then you get all your money back. Unfortunately, it's triggered my eating disorder and now I'm restricting like a mofo.

The first class I went to, I had to sit out part of the time because I almost passed out. I've done 3 classes so far and it's incredibly embarrassing when I have to take a break to sit down while everyone else is still up and punching their bags.

I know I shouldn't compare myself to everyone else, because I'm just a beginner and they might not be, but I can't help it.

I think it's sending me into a depressive state. All I want to do is sleep and not think about going to class or eating...

 


TL;DR: My husband bought me a 6 week boxing training program and it's triggered my mental state and my eating disorder... Has anyone dealt with this sort of thing??",4.81805,6.085003724444442,5.680152777777781,79.38556250000002,69.53333333333333,8.113888888888889,31.39583333333333,8.472884824447931,2.4867833333333333,918,39,168,14,16,301,134,225,0.111,0.8540000000000001,0.035,-0.9109999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,3,2,3,8,6,0,1,12,0,16,6,1,2,3,34,28,16,0,5,6,3,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,8,12,4,1,3,2,3,4,5,4,0,1,8,0,26,2,19,15,3,35,0,2,0,0,11,11,1,5,16,108,34,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825302465807875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13877398351858988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195960790930137,0.0,0.0,0.08955609907537998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848515779019017,0.0,0.1561520349223838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103146052108968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2935801924405281,0.0,0.0,0.2621394023033257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39317162397122174,0.21398781881446474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447707234194549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10894427780768684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06691620365557252,0.0,0.07279047835058645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858489264326598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703890922906009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06257312851434606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14328809451979393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12907391723487413,0.13587201016075873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987827341995758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13869751607925393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303028018698518,0.0,0.12255469459552422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10937911340546648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817190399583414,0.13056082558846835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228437954182802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09629977406945907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850902665844682,0.16413622423358953,0.0,0.0,0.0746841319641936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07554455242397587,0.0,0.4109502973115704,0.0,0.0,0.11873089307247148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098393565684593,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,red_sky_at_morning,2019/01/14,"I lost my reason today. Whenever I'm in a deep depression with suicidal ideation, I can always justify people moving on after I'm gone. My three main reasons I struggled to justify are my dogs and my cat. Recently I've been justifying the dogs too. They're a bonded pair, they love my husband, and he could care for them if I was no longer here. But there was one reason I couldn't justify. My cat, Georgie. 

Georgie hates every person except me. He's also asthmatic and requires medication that he would only let me administer. If I left him behind, how would he survive without his medication? He'd be alone. 

I took him to the vet this morning after he was still struggling to breathe even after his asthma meds. The vet came in and said heart failure. I decided the best option was to let him go. I held him as they administered the medication and until I felt him go limp. I get his ashes back in a couple of weeks. 

My reason is gone. And I want to go too.",2.539040935672517,4.7299150210526335,4.487719298245619,81.68847953216378,77.73684210526315,7.380116959064328,25.292397660818715,8.344100000000001,1.8505730994152048,754,28,144,15,18,257,115,190,0.135,0.799,0.066,-0.9042,0,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,3,4,9,8,1,2,8,0,16,7,2,5,0,28,34,13,1,7,5,1,2,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,2,8,0,2,6,0,0,8,3,5,0,2,13,3,33,3,20,13,2,23,0,2,0,1,21,6,0,3,9,101,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477949465208672,0.0,0.09634669250370834,0.10024784613511277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264060632621393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643485725114278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13779542197900402,0.12283596168237305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961923582791441,0.13330727882276766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376804122247492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957497871833086,0.0,0.10150841629002008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11567834910092173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294509567530117,0.0,0.2054122936028387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894767425867735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14276772050605094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309003508876965,0.2463950613560454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13151662332571906,0.0,0.10873663986005228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338245641040969,0.3641085420568284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280496846542948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163941704141824,0.09162940390409227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352469123268927,0.10519726601949797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4954882639316433,0.1189580823736321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460273745959346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621436520051338,0.0,0.0,0.2519007818411603,0.0,0.1317840334004555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11419962514648567,0.0,0.13385615704274248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106139948629579,0.0,0.09664066537311747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11613707064274485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17116908078985713,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mlmcw,2019/04/26,"Healthy coping mechanisms when bored I could post a long story here, but I won't get too into it. Basically my girlfriend is out of town, I'm doing a dry month, I quit smoking a month and a half ago, and I'm trying not to eat terribly. 

I'm so bored.

I'm sitting at work and I have no plans for tonight. I know when I get home I'm going to want to pour a glass of whiskey and light a cigarette and sit out on the patio. But I won't. Instead, I'll sit in a recliner and watch Frasier and sigh a lot. It's what I've done every night this week after failed attempts at entertaining myself. I've gone for runs. I've taken a lot of baths. I've done a little wood working. I've worked on a puzzle. But I have no interest in doing ANY of these things. I'm bored, but nothing sounds fun. I think it's because I'm sad, because I'm lonely, but I don't want to be the person who can't be alone. 

Does anyone have any tips for what they do when they're in this frame of mind to snap out of it?",1.0241335372069291,2.227800903669724,3.260856269113152,93.25506625891948,78.95412844036696,6.128848114169215,21.285423037716612,6.691623216298621,0.20121630988786965,759,20,184,7,18,261,117,218,0.135,0.77,0.096,-0.8781,0,3,2,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,7,7,11,0,0,13,0,16,2,0,0,0,26,33,16,0,3,6,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,3,1,11,11,2,0,2,3,0,3,7,7,1,1,4,3,13,3,26,24,2,31,0,3,1,0,4,13,0,3,11,104,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14625899408655427,0.0,0.0,0.17088609040680947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22440586881249916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153690359003016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20116005396463515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13173587598801134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443891069230721,0.3376963760978517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688320939583582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901624182365874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724071946312359,0.0,0.09377102616942347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16550443571855467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09067748371474636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16536933277577232,0.0,0.14601626326187578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28054738890395176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665989196599872,0.0,0.26339645776450765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15483756396871612,0.0,0.1583181069609648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14406813845239824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580205538966398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754935502102618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109616007415496,0.10572277121073677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120214498361733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19463782524377246,0.0,0.13234983461001376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3603571478847152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,My-mental-health,2019/04/26,"This is a post about successes with lower dose lithium So, new account, but to be brief, I've been a part of the bipolar reddit communities for a while with other accounts, but I decided to make this my main mental health account so I can be more honest about my symptoms and not have it be related to the other communities I follow. 

​

Okay, so disclaimer over, to the root of my questions and experiences. 

​

I \[27F\] was diagnosed last year with BP1 and glad I sought help, because honestly my life has been so much better since I started meds. Here's the catch though. I didn't start really feeling good while I took my meds for a month and a half. I was taking 900mg lithium a day for what my pdoc thought would fix what he considered ""mania"" (I was just extremely nervous that day and I guess he thought the energy was manic? I don't believe so, but who am I do judge my own nearly 15 years of experience with anxiety). So, the main concern here, is that I became so nauseated, bloated to the point I couldn't wear my work boots over my fat ass ankles, was gaining weight already, my irritability and depressive episodes were still going full force. The only thing that changed was my anxiety levels decreased a tiny bit. So I went cold turkey and informed my therapist that I was doing this. I never saw my pdoc again, as I absolutely didn't like him (every question i asked went unanswered and he had this almost sociopathic type personality so I fired him). 

​

I continued to see my therapist and finished my last session a couple of months later, **having not been on any medication for the duration of that 2 months**. She saw improvement in me, improvement in my speech patterns, improvement in my self confidence, improvement in my depression, improvement in less suicidal thoughts, basically improvement everywhere. I started applying for new jobs, I started working out, I started regular hygiene habits, I started managing my money better, coming out of debt, taking care of the house and laundry etc. I felt happy for the first time in years. But it wasn't until AFTER coming off the medication. It's been 2 months since, and my mood tracker finally looks like a normal person's with normal moods. 

​

I'm basically just telling my story, but it makes me wonder, was I on too high a doseage? I would have asked him, but he never listened to me and I'm out of insurance this month anyway, so it's not like I can just go find someone else at this point. 

​

I occasionally feel a little ""out of wack"" like it's trying to creep up on me, so I just split a pill and stick to a low dose and my anxiety is gone. I am wondering if anyone else has had experiences like this, or did it come back full force for you? Because it literally feels like my brain has been reset to a point of stability and normalcy to me. I also wonder if there were any of you who were given the wrong medication due to a misdiagnosis, as so many people go through multiple diagnosis' and meds until they find what works for them. And honestly, I think I may have been since my main issues in the past other than anxiety and depression have been executive function and focus, which I think may be ADHD.

​

This is my last four months, including this one. The one random sad mood day in the 3rd was a fluke, as something really sad happened that day in my personal life, not a random bout of depression.

[Month 1](https://imgur.com/oo6MqIb)

[Month 2](https://imgur.com/99U0jRh)

[Month 3](https://imgur.com/BWfE33z)

[Month 4](https://imgur.com/kqFjR8X)

*Sorry it was kind of a long post, but I had a lot to get off my chest and haven't been able to talk to anyone about it since I stopped seeing my therapist on the regular.*

*Anyway, thanks for any and all responses. And I hope everyone has a great day.* 

​

**tl;dr diagnosed last year, started meds in january, stopped in february, moods only got significantly better after stopping meds for some reason? just want to share my story and experience and hear back from the community.**",4.997565551147144,7.2077869478609635,5.584680006900122,76.51144126272212,70.56417112299465,8.94345351043643,30.112644471278248,9.495507796065727,3.0355560807314137,3239,135,558,77,62,1044,335,748,0.11699999999999999,0.755,0.129,0.9439,3,0,1,0,0,0,163.0,0,2,2,9,32,36,0,1,38,1,58,19,5,4,3,98,112,55,1,9,19,0,6,6,0,4,14,3,0,4,35,36,2,3,19,0,5,13,12,9,0,5,40,15,82,23,83,63,15,106,0,7,5,1,29,35,1,17,62,386,117,8,0.040452434682906116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04861596538941475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04050726999284708,0.0,0.044640267586098265,0.032349797400857916,0.0,0.3068113725465606,0.3440789511554636,0.08252712827240664,0.0,0.12378400723696162,0.0,0.0,0.05657056579248587,0.041448299780201016,0.0,0.0,0.07563513150246977,0.0,0.0,0.0622108505827599,0.0,0.049318857433550994,0.0,0.0,0.045576041314435545,0.0,0.1073306734343843,0.044163581585006835,0.0,0.0,0.04515829552950515,0.0,0.0,0.041243953172667214,0.0,0.04279331209309194,0.10453857172790082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044759849559031055,0.0,0.13044236912025253,0.0,0.13936649086741534,0.08211673937217831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06758563686904798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045115157789626985,0.0,0.0,0.03408292091955003,0.03865403489052063,0.0,0.1582809733340712,0.0,0.0,0.06136189930602561,0.028899227420246764,0.038840681084475186,0.04431366489573752,0.07394558488506177,0.034408820276144114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02113472750914865,0.0,0.06897015257105593,0.03392958295925766,0.03235350741615572,0.04459895204754371,0.044562917451033135,0.0,0.035771954393876745,0.04306236892991998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04299904642680291,0.04559283388103656,0.0,0.02711441426722537,0.04274021823527131,0.0,0.04017839518149501,0.0,0.04667667837622814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042221831936473664,0.04014279950971518,0.0,0.0,0.04212498573388257,0.0,0.13189653352441424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05714550187431455,0.11857809752799807,0.04054396678817554,0.0,0.035799131730489264,0.033969856927626614,0.0,0.0,0.03439121337465306,0.0,0.0,0.05400462853828618,0.04101241950778118,0.0,0.0,0.2246676779204968,0.12225471639316304,0.04076653964619073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32288747425156944,0.0,0.029737194008725938,0.0,0.062398822881902516,0.07813842698365271,0.0,0.0,0.07926959424823445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05482323331675086,0.0615317988657405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04380604470060497,0.03861642619322735,0.02804462477259105,0.10596451692591097,0.0,0.0,0.11472187847325495,0.0,0.07748450068092798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063196963889307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051829731003318995,0.04159184019750997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447070609580431,0.0,0.04220071172245818,0.0,0.0,0.13385068797450242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034275216633714065,0.03114226054604767,0.0,0.045283188737906224,0.2004270903326973,0.0,0.03230536659230894,0.1014601402050899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044248397847269534,0.0,0.0,0.04204556859614275,0.06083039302786589,0.03251413468712832,0.03535721092609305,0.03724316690001694,0.0,0.14090518361395438,0.0268748001186674,0.05184057349416823,0.03974431168772606,0.0963441436722762,0.02358813997346493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04494414337081132,0.02746454778214166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02385989406242064,0.0,0.0,0.049260167494425786,0.0,0.07499962445330928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13160681948483474,0.08834956270598235,0.0,0.0,0.05747249792337013,0.04422838699617372,0.3440789511554636,0.10420016660249216
bipolarreddit,eharby4,2019/04/26,Just upped my dose from 50 to 100 mgs. I want to cry but can’t? I’m effing tired. I’m acting dyslexic in my brain and it’s coming out when I talk. It’s really weird. Also I always dry out whenever I up my dose. It’s weird but I guess that’s part of the deal and something I can deal with. Anyway is that weird or normal? Sort of emotional numbness. I’ll be returning to my NP to discuss the changes on Wednesday.,-1.1694615384615403,0.8969463444444479,1.5322222222222237,96.40807692307692,96.66666666666669,4.547008547008548,16.923076923076927,6.297961479604792,-0.2491282051282049,321,9,74,4,13,110,60,90,0.185,0.736,0.08,-0.8614,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,4,5,1,0,0,14,9,7,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,0,0,10,0,14,8,1,11,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,3,3,45,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18940441613747816,0.1970735504545729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643967284414209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505500170880827,0.20402051669360008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601625001562241,0.0,0.4883524435067534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664181208846091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609108569246165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320572680873029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564794523130558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15172861544699884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823344240099925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19036659241852155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722178469231547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396969893813003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,polarshred,2019/04/26,"Is my BP holding me back. Stable for 4 years but feel life is going nowhere Hi Everyone,

First ever post on Reddit.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 in 2015 after a severe episode that landed me in the hospital twice for a total of 6 weeks. I have been taking lithium and have been basically ""healthy"" since then. I was able to complete the masters degree program I started before the illness, land a part time adjunct professor job and have maintained a fairly steady career as a freelance musician.

My issue is this: 

I basically ignored my BP these last four years because I know how terrible a full blown episode can be and compared to that I'm basically fine. But I think this is wrong and that just because I'm in remission doesn't mean it's not effecting my life and I shouldn't still be vigilant.

For example:

Although ""stable"" I feel like this disorder is holding me back. I have tons of drive to get things done an accomplish things with my life. But I feel like I'm kick hard in water and not getting anywhere. Like I'm making the same mistakes over and over. I have a hard time planning ahead so I ended up showing to gigs unprepared more often than is acceptable. I know this but I keep making the mistake. I feel like if I didn't have this disorder I would have an easier time moving through life.

Can anyone relate to this? Does anyone have any tips?

Thanks",4.234957771787962,6.0174030150943425,5.049919137466311,81.3330817610063,71.67924528301887,7.9155435759209345,29.977538185085358,8.563005593585519,2.418074573225517,1089,46,199,19,21,353,150,265,0.147,0.742,0.11,-0.8854,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,6,8,12,0,0,14,0,27,8,0,4,2,42,48,17,0,5,8,0,6,4,0,2,7,0,0,0,13,9,1,4,10,1,0,3,5,5,0,3,6,6,26,7,25,38,6,32,0,0,0,0,1,11,0,2,21,138,39,5,0.1193395594210457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115499273417773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688998946032144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18352950960680506,0.0,0.1454965755066516,0.0,0.10154917529343004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12512525752283302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12112714073437048,0.0,0.0,0.2735469483821474,0.0,0.1044348526644563,0.12212580309777013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10569942778917316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079494638150532,0.0,0.1140340632112743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24136666798332695,0.25576861528669953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151016827889928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469998847765068,0.0,0.06782342180020635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21380960912582025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245594946446427,0.11842609832928402,0.10607448373496113,0.0,0.0,0.13117180171740456,0.09727766896696943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3371722404365951,0.2332131226365444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15932016520082795,0.0,0.0,0.12999576580019026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683906529689265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12923311329782394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142943094242128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13481973349071005,0.0,0.09871891677406837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08446915439555754,0.0,0.09530472631084046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972849669320622,0.0,0.0,0.10987183253943007,0.0,0.0,0.1585678009657947,0.07646797095679689,0.0,0.0,0.2087635704051793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957269961163069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847753989934781,0.13047907398901934,0.0,0.1537015271320083
bipolarreddit,lilmisstiny5,2019/04/26,"I passed all my courses this year and I can graduate!!! I started crying in my advisors office this morning because I misread my transcript and thought I failed two courses and didn’t have a high enough GPA to graduate. I cried in her office when she told me I for sure am graduating this year. This year has been so difficult for me, especially in dealing with being bipolar. And even though I passed by the very minimum, I could not be more proud of myself than I am now. I refuse to let this disorder stop me from living my life.",6.257820512820516,6.2377896538461535,6.7142307692307694,77.79743589743592,65.92307692307692,10.01025641025641,34.641025641025635,9.725611199111238,3.2095756410256406,420,18,81,8,6,137,71,104,0.23399999999999999,0.7440000000000001,0.021,-0.9691,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,2,0,11,2,0,0,2,12,14,7,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,5,0,2,1,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,4,0,21,2,12,6,3,13,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,0,7,65,26,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12677687729085274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16604750949083796,0.0,0.4568916242710928,0.0,0.21440843799219195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23835219342839664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21488910493024507,0.0,0.13736254386883132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21973223568278127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21266391125522568,0.14689570391214446,0.0,0.0,0.1836417483742942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472025796397954,0.0,0.0,0.17387263768933134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19600972080112766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043299455034218,0.16510533449251233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987247107139254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031569444668536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17159743048456272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4017785211118004
bipolarreddit,Volleyball24,2019/04/26,"Lamitrogene - Orgasm changed ?? Hello! Posting because I am very frustrated and do not know what else to do. Just to give a bit of background f(21) diagnosed with bipolar disorder type II in January after years and years of chronic depression separated by sexual escapades. 

After my diagnoses I was put 50 mg of Lamitrogene and did much better, but was still symptomatic. So two weeks ago we raised it to 100 mg. This past week I have been having trouble with my brain and body orgasming at the same time. 

To put this in perspective, I have been masturbating for the last decade and never had any issues. I even purchased a vibrator even though I have never really felt the need for toys. 

Nothing is helping, has anyone had a similar experience ? or have any tips to help me fix this problem? Thanks in advance!",5.329285714285714,7.543255074829933,5.723554421768707,75.84614795918368,69.68027210884354,9.253741496598641,31.97789115646259,9.725611199111238,3.4578258503401362,644,29,107,16,12,206,106,147,0.115,0.825,0.059000000000000004,-0.8321,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,0,2,6,6,1,0,6,0,17,8,4,0,2,19,22,9,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,2,1,1,3,3,4,0,1,8,1,10,2,19,14,3,21,0,1,0,2,5,4,0,1,13,76,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13275548110269986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036873647499767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471747027219018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912938719068328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13245282179532536,0.1635019369863077,0.1663524524047564,0.0,0.16718455625847234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15842894000371266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12899028107552116,0.30401170975021297,0.0,0.0,0.17164087868833094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510740913610668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19783352852251712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14649652948994826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14379555197432367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14366590252538713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20076538604131589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563132123112818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230559119399851,0.12207648213218313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100927199848065,0.11104704714549438,0.23101225128716016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437012239017152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296531792668196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14343114273197413,0.0,0.0,0.1433025524841364,0.0,0.3011054927265609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594173647590756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196005809159386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13788125213387098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471409634796664,0.0,0.08732775823768306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14629626838488696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12356980368161848,0.0,0.0,0.2402609983372007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19288436832291844
bipolarreddit,Bloof_Iron,2019/04/26,"I feel like bipolar has messed up my sex life and it scares me [NSFW] Background: I'm a 20yr gay man with bp2. 

So I've been diagnosed for about a year and have been experiencing symptoms for about 2 years. Recently I've been making some unfortunate choices regarding sex and relationships. I never ever thought I'd be one to hook up, but here I am. I've made choices I thought I never would (like unprotected sex) and the thing is I dont even like sex! Seriously, it just makes me hate myself and isn't enjoyable for me. But I dont know why I keep doing it, I feel like if I just try again things will be different.

And I know hooking up isn't unhealthy necessarily, but I just dont know if it's me healthily exploring during college or some hypomanic-fueled horniness. It just feels very out of character for me and things like this are the reason I find hypomania to be actually worse than depression. People sometimes act like (hypo)mania is some sort of blessing but it isn't. It sucks and it makes me lose my sense of judgement and I hate it.

I dont know if other people relate but I'm really not in a good place right now with my self image and self love. Idk why I'm posting but hey you never know if strangers on the internet might help you out.",2.5562845849802365,4.58727743478261,4.324505928853757,83.65023715415023,77.02371541501977,7.56205533596838,25.22924901185771,8.456263369488248,1.7156229249011856,993,36,203,20,23,335,136,253,0.14300000000000002,0.72,0.136,-0.2146,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,2,0,1,12,18,3,1,6,0,23,10,0,5,4,58,45,22,0,5,16,0,3,6,0,3,4,0,0,3,14,14,0,1,13,0,0,2,11,8,0,1,6,4,27,10,21,33,3,21,1,2,0,6,9,9,1,10,15,130,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.09838438369676107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08683488893164948,0.10232872907155166,0.0,0.1053339503273338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4726344653658555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658971642270947,0.09119617097520898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15293069884188615,0.1440496169561995,0.0,0.0,0.0921463489611544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456183547212152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990749360062735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06757656411342525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961217974527436,0.0,0.0,0.2770362545996853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07121113945417802,0.2955291724569767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279019445400645,0.0,0.0,0.09099269807748242,0.09539697117549728,0.2018915404296872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695257340289148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23327249559165836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831727406357498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13978980812967315,0.0,0.1053339503273338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655632381464843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645869592757716,0.10365828404044604,0.09954617769347526,0.1082414167773076,0.0,0.08609851021855243,0.0,0.0,0.10093697921030853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103515180700008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971214631998293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10478909977255473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20093813962079649,0.0,0.0,0.16007737035259856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06844919295525864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318588104879608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819461610635103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10274273874824667,0.07161862141665122,0.0,0.0,0.1298477106981862
bipolarreddit,the_hyacinthgirl33,2019/04/26,"Why do i always think happiness is a bad omen.. I'm not sure if this is just me, or if it's linked to BP1&2 so I was hoping to get some insight.. 

Do you ever have times where life is going really well and you're feeling legitimately happy but then have an ominous sense of dread after you notice you're happy? 

Everytime I feel like things are going like how I wanted, I get this fear that it means something terrible is going to happen. So many times I've purposely starting messing my life up myself. My brain thinks being happy is a trap or something.

Sorry for the rant, thanks for letting me vent.",3.370750000000001,5.2039945749999985,4.725000000000001,82.56,74.08333333333334,6.8000000000000025,23.666666666666664,7.554174236665415,1.1868166666666662,479,14,89,6,10,159,84,120,0.188,0.607,0.205,0.3569,0,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,0,7,15,0,2,4,0,13,3,1,1,2,21,29,10,0,4,7,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,7,0,0,3,1,5,1,0,1,2,12,10,8,26,1,11,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,6,8,59,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170695709091518,0.15244305193586613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11747450844139007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15706223121785975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12726674774056948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15832107177194849,0.14227931182615258,0.10051258768459656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470147364884275,0.0,0.23988075553401994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12441618768482715,0.5990900822411078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13974195261279082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14387024369685186,0.19875418067052505,0.13747301097866485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14264272023567176,0.0,0.15325817978845704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16018227220874498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013286594800723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21662788062203767,0.0,0.1574966144412614,0.0995846962495016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13260344048109945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12953311949327026,0.0,0.0,0.09347155424442474,0.18030344248240326,0.0,0.0,0.16408085606734096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829855988611671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650176669752866,0.0,0.12695541893271758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Bacon_Devil,2019/04/26,"For the first time in a year I feel comfortable carrying cash! For most of my adult life I had a habit of withdrawing half of my paychecks as cash and using that as my drug funds. Basically any cash I ran into I mentally wrote off as drug purchases. 
  
It's been a year since I got properly diagnosed and medicated. I've been clean for basically that whole time, but it took a long time to overcome to overcome those urges even after getting clean.  At my job I recently got ~$80 dollars in cash and I've noticed that I never even considered buying drugs with it. It's such a simple thing but it feels huge. 
  
Getting properly treated for BD has done wonders for my substance abuse issues.  To anyone in a similar spot or currently cleaning things up, a big congrats to you as well!",3.6543810494141615,5.7165024768211925,4.881721854304637,80.7513448802853,73.90066225165563,8.619663779928679,29.49617931737137,9.265573868473778,2.7963638308711154,618,27,116,15,13,204,93,151,0.039,0.8390000000000001,0.122,0.8894,2,0,3,0,1,0,13.0,0,1,0,1,4,3,0,0,8,0,5,6,0,1,1,15,16,10,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,6,0,3,1,11,5,0,0,3,0,8,2,1,0,1,2,9,2,13,3,25,7,2,22,0,0,0,0,3,9,0,3,11,77,24,1,0.0,0.17799361620342954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215904459924424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10504173127270952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15247654587306966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15373367608138974,0.0,0.0,0.5226444895762937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19844612637966774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519178757125023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277824254442148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15697409678959331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24029941253929285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15679724117949928,0.14907643575994944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10610928788205942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13294556002230634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513372061517982,0.15139279031224456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158637940609888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17103365351167912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483303610558345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426875884943435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996073747912071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627945143138242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669069617424958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12974730117697292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350714972114073,0.0,0.0,0.16772231403239687,0.0,0.0,0.16291402866869487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19348164094700265
bipolarreddit,BrewerJosh,2019/04/26,"Got a job! After being let go in January from my last job as a scape goat for the owner’s stupid spending habits, I finally was offered a new job! It’ll be interesting because I don’t know yet how I’m gonna maintain getting medication easily as it’s a job as a brewer on a cruise ship. If anyone else has ever worked on a cruise ship while medicated, I’d love some advice. Kinda niche, I know.",4.461566265060244,4.377719012048196,6.664722891566267,76.84624096385545,69.72289156626506,9.531566265060242,28.648192771084343,9.3871,2.3405200000000006,310,10,64,6,5,111,62,83,0.045,0.8240000000000001,0.131,0.7568,4,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,1,0,8,0,7,3,0,1,1,7,15,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,1,3,1,1,0,0,2,0,4,2,9,8,1,13,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,3,7,35,6,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17321052504711176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394009505423745,0.18161763604906328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10805237304330824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807294465779622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033636109100025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19417305669263266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09260788184576453,0.0,0.10073751423922014,0.0,0.14176618983114148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7035888458641724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19482828929240195,0.1444856408393186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18125419053413316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599786256328856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3571294472860562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17119298582353712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904299902705746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Fleo89,2019/04/26,"I have really good news and no one to tell!!! I’m 20 and was diagnosed bp2 by a free therapist at my university when I was 18. I have health insurance through my parents, but they don’t believe in mental health, so I could never seek real treatment. Even HIPPA doesn’t apply because my bills and stuff would still have been sent to theory house, and there was no way for me to change the billing address. So I’ve been cycling pretty much non stop for 2 years!!!!! I gave up hope of ever being able to be on medication or receive real therapy. This whole mess has caused me to be so isolated my whole first two years of college, receive horrible grades, etc. 

A few months ago during a horrible depressive episode I emailed my school’s student support services and asked if there was anyway I would qualify for a grant for the student health care. It’s $2000 a year, ontop of a $36,000 tuition and I’m paying for my own school so there was no way I could afford it. I explained I had been diagnosed bipolar and was barely coping. I didn’t hear back from them for months so I kinda forgot about it. Well today I got an email, they gave me a full grant to cover it for the rest of my time in school! So I have free health insurance now, allowing me to get a real therapist, psychiatrist, and even go to a normal doctor for free. I can’t even express how crazy this is. I literally cried with joy when I got the email. I was sooo so hopeless and giving up on all my dreams, and now I have a way to get healthy again. And I have no one to tell in real life!",4.17365129596142,4.803393414556967,5.252622061482821,84.20533755274262,70.5506329113924,8.42411091018686,27.705846895720313,8.563005593585519,1.8177657022302585,1213,40,254,19,21,401,169,316,0.129,0.711,0.16,0.9104,2,0,0,0,0,1,37.0,0,0,3,1,26,12,0,0,15,0,30,10,0,3,3,36,48,24,0,7,3,1,0,0,0,2,10,1,1,0,7,12,0,2,1,1,7,4,9,3,1,4,18,1,35,12,35,23,9,35,0,2,0,0,19,9,0,4,19,179,42,11,0.0889171834621371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881971818333132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831255635996348,0.0,0.0,0.06837182555220023,0.0,0.05420308973905991,0.0,0.0,0.10017921687037687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065699455927982,0.09134244078106016,0.09406259010515976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14198627147489587,0.0,0.0976713508038809,0.0,0.0,0.07658423982431344,0.18049813904412265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101050501716684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09916616375623646,0.176186883236436,0.08043068304632686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756329108295296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09291111687511618,0.0852974645984291,0.05053368445882951,0.07457951484084513,0.14223038870792942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3780592322612029,0.10021612806588256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831482613027693,0.0,0.10259849146573254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628048362728274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895747077759612,0.08960760738508948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14194569504013013,0.0,0.06536436078692638,0.0,0.06857841345648434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711996088727224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050516941747848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873200959548373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046074188547244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.404828884914936,0.05696262458045271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26996681017664576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100937757187098,0.07433874682226355,0.0,0.0,0.10178890181438703,0.0,0.10090216607653693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554350750588265,0.0,0.101684548498332,0.2064794065817156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05184832472982005,0.0,0.08428309310873741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685916807042697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117349644340876,0.0,0.0,0.07994722645690659,0.0,0.0,0.19854571983958136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263284319457548,0.0,0.0,0.17177925265572855
bipolarreddit,hustletheambition,2019/08/28,"Stuck in a haze My fiance and I have been going through a bit of a rough patch, and I really don't have anyone who understands the way I feel and why this is happening to me.

You see my beautiful amazing fiance has bipolar and it is something that she cannot help. She has always been open about her illness ever since we first started dating, so I knew what I was getting myself into. 

Most people would have ran for the hills but when you truly love someone, you will love them unconditionally just like I do. Bipolar is a disease that takes over her brain and body where in some cases she loses touch of reality and may not sleep for days and it breaks my heart because I know she is helpless to the affects of it .

 I am a little helpless too because I have never experienced what it's like to love someone with this illness. I suffer from depression and I find it hard to cope with stressful situations. There are some days that I don't even want to get out of bed and I don't know why. It just happens and it's hard for me to shake myself from it, and when she shuts me off  because of an episode,it makes everything 100% worse. I always overthink everything and I have a bad habit of keeping things to myself and I let it manifest inside my head until it gets the better of me.

I lose sleep over the not knowing. The not knowing if she is ok kills me. I am so overprotective of her because  I know she has been through a lot and I don't want her to ever think that she is not good enough for me because she is more than enough. 

She is the most loving and caring person I have ever met and she makes me feel so complete. I feel like all the moments in my life have all lead up to her, like she was made for me and I was made for her. I know we were meant to be together, thats why I am willing to do whatever it takes to support my partner and help her find the light in the darkness.

I know she has been trying and has been seeing her psychiatrist and has been taking her medication but she is suffering its affects again and this time she text me and said she doesn't want to be with me anymore. Out of the blue, I mean we had spend the day together a few days before with her daughter, we had such a good day, how can this be? .That's the thing it just creeps up on us and all of a sudden we aren't talking. 

She never communicates with me when she is manic or a bit low. She just shuts me off completely and says I deserve someone better than her, that I am better off without her and that it's not ok that she is like this. Everytime shes says those things and acts so cold towards me rips my heart into a million pieces. Because I really love this woman, she is the light of my life. I always let her know I'm still there but she never responds. I really think it may be over this time. She has not been in touch with me for days and I'm really scared that I may have lost her for good.

I'm a bit lost at the moment, I feel so helpless. How can I go to being her everything to becoming nothing just like that. Im hurting because there is nothing  I can do . There have been times before when we have broken up and then we get back together. She has always been so remorseful for the way she has treated me and I know she is really sorry because I know how much she loves me. I really don't want to give up on us. It's just so hard sometimes to come to grips with this disease.

 It is so unfair and is relentless and never shows any mercy. I just need some advice and guidance to get me through the dark times. Because I really don't have anyone who understands what it is like to be in a relationship with someone who has bipolar and I feel more people should talk about it. 

So many people criticize bipolar and think that if you have bipolar you're just crazy or they make jokes ""like did you take you pills today?"". I just feel more people need to take this seriously and we need to help support eachother. Because this isn't easy for anyone, not just me as a partner but any family members that may be going through the same things. And most of all our loved ones who are suffering from this illness. We just have to keep pushing through, they need our love and support.",3.396097236097237,4.5181614335664335,4.4370462870462895,87.50817016317019,72.77622377622376,7.265800865800866,25.50715950715951,7.62386473244151,1.1671397269397268,3282,102,697,39,63,1070,284,858,0.149,0.73,0.121,-0.9420000000000001,0,0,1,0,0,0,61.0,13,6,3,9,44,50,1,3,34,2,96,27,7,11,11,159,176,64,1,12,27,1,13,8,2,8,12,3,1,4,55,60,0,2,26,2,1,9,22,19,0,3,26,23,137,31,92,133,23,75,0,13,3,8,94,30,0,15,41,534,192,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04531066334620842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15432889152465765,0.0,0.0,0.06306420340381673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04598499274591104,0.09726558915352586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035654437066975235,0.0387156767752928,0.28265745960833594,0.051210254270440486,0.078912185565358,0.0,0.0,0.12302724381597915,0.15186684883982787,0.05150483883992858,0.0,0.0517624687952685,0.0,0.0,0.047275673584686685,0.0,0.0,0.03994227043277055,0.09723276936542308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794226903029958,0.0,0.03993703454726977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09582190348125058,0.0,0.03062589056064712,0.12582861597309553,0.0,0.0,0.1250187828637121,0.0,0.04371200036913291,0.0,0.140671536018063,0.03312559386947002,0.0,0.0,0.08475975422190235,0.039440936929565934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12112787477486064,0.04448079393719466,0.07905668999246462,0.11667484070678967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200684509223788,0.0,0.12461093481734785,0.0,0.0475873551732024,0.0,0.0,0.10989355333133508,0.09323928234795023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04963833068153481,0.0,0.0500858283200636,0.0,0.0,0.08242872795427178,0.051299763999642464,0.0,0.2548285972819678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09482966009308992,0.06550274369028157,0.1812260627089724,0.04647331771718746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037487569322181,0.10123317097291228,0.039420755107415086,0.3347943271539276,0.08774980150062965,0.09285380017343642,0.04701027928751074,0.0,0.05050878042039162,0.0,0.046711284295785936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03408610885080475,0.13752632279715296,0.14304867287010994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898345977070445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03142042752654285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12858403955638986,0.040487097933087655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20793348836444686,0.0,0.0,0.049782308176652426,0.0,0.0,0.04410696618357455,0.0737480247514267,0.046422856934753134,0.0,0.0738992221332311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03835641922633326,0.05212002380065429,0.09280377241227422,0.0,0.15715117770948642,0.03569665929210456,0.045859532744932735,0.05190562700633025,0.03281979182475134,0.0,0.037029863739244315,0.0,0.05311484496770868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15785493079531782,0.0,0.0,0.17431632903701685,0.07453832623279613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12322041708706125,0.08913299438197744,0.0,0.0,0.10815114653892552,0.0,0.04395182101377705,0.0,0.0,0.03148109956055392,0.0,0.0,0.0965422783031956,0.1115509508222534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939713356165234,0.07361015450757287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255208052236261,0.0,0.0,0.04469748246026868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04725336045629806,0.03293878063224123,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sarikaya_comes_in,2019/08/28,"Clearly bipolar but never suicidal? Anyone else?


Have had some hideous bouts of depression, There were times where I didn’t want to ‘exist’ but I have never wanted to be dead, thought about ending my life, idealized suicide.....

I feel #blessed for this LOL but it also makes me feel like I’m bullshitting the world and don’t actually have BAD when I sure as hell do. That imposter syndrome will get ya.",3.165099999999999,5.8953896933333345,3.484916666666667,86.77537500000004,78.73333333333333,6.416666666666668,26.70833333333333,7.645422480735847,1.7018333333333335,317,13,58,5,8,98,62,75,0.223,0.546,0.23199999999999998,-0.5824,0,0,0,0,0,2,13.0,0,1,0,1,5,7,1,0,1,1,10,2,0,1,4,16,18,7,3,3,3,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,2,7,4,6,12,1,7,2,1,0,0,1,2,1,1,6,38,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.22123505104156424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812989170810632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15852003939549766,0.2322899204556512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18929234874490952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19526392668366613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18938608212531527,0.0,0.20079667464063145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22926152635759955,0.16196078667346334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844597240384545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601311049569717,0.1107584508436964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15132986074120994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34970355070359666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4959651841324527,0.0,0.21367032757448245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17998143541616968,0.13219570373668926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674374062738973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cunttwatula,2019/08/28,"How do you find a good therapist? Hi,

I've done therapy for the better part of the last 5 years. In that time I've had 2 different therapists but, as nice as they were, I don't feel like either of them was especially helpful with my brand of ""crazy"" - hoping you guys can relate to that.

I feel like I need somebody that plays a more active role in my session. Less somebody who let's me vent but doesn't really offer advice? 

Maybe I'm looking for a life coach more than a therapist?

Any suggestions or insight would be helpful.

Thanks!",3.0463136033229503,4.845287130841125,4.265358255451712,85.65749740394602,74.88785046728971,7.746209761163032,24.973001038421607,8.515128840125781,1.6588969885773617,421,14,85,8,9,138,79,107,0.046,0.6920000000000001,0.263,0.9786,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,2,1,1,8,0,0,6,0,11,1,0,1,0,13,18,6,0,3,4,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,3,10,8,12,11,5,5,0,0,1,0,12,2,0,2,5,52,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645553984954475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11451559473561987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14893327998937148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759388086735306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17232838674651946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702929579699484,0.2406054070733497,0.0,0.0,0.15391161927811928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14124324157575474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16673930172078233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257456432122674,0.0,0.0,0.1672560132424982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13726586302256946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17219713146300744,0.11894363593996485,0.16454033534542914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14141089544436788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16917721400022645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486408926847448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18235731814197428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787929851213733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15503714342206393,0.1925764102746033,0.5865649722945274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981935250013376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962425117190766,0.0,0.0,0.10844201446082036
bipolarreddit,Kush1113,2019/08/28,"I am super depressed right now and I don't know what to do My doctor switched me from ziprasidone to latuda and now I am really depressed and losing hope.  I have two children and I have been trying to hide it, but I can't anymore.  I need some support from people who have been through this and I know you all have.  Please help.",0.4292371475953587,2.86659955223881,1.5790049751243806,97.00127694859043,90.7910447761194,3.574792703150912,19.38474295190713,5.033348758259628,-0.4283485903814257,258,8,54,1,9,81,43,67,0.10800000000000001,0.685,0.20600000000000002,0.8346,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,2,2,6,0,0,0,0,11,1,0,0,1,12,16,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,11,3,6,14,2,3,0,3,0,0,4,1,0,2,2,43,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563030594232391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4451880288560888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645243161434808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732269007576159,0.0,0.0,0.2566892578283723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840637573774913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891282810461024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19163000350409173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17916977237227028,0.0,0.0,0.2836895388463335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655632974461562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22070636885258155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932746771788296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17546381220414614,0.0,0.25245835115723664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,grumblecakes1,2019/08/28,"Trigger warning- suicide What counts as an attempt? I changed some meds up the other day and my dr said not to take some of them together and not take them with alcohol because I could stop breathing. I though well I take these before bed and dieing in my sleep wouldn't be to bad. So I did and I'm still here, felt like a regular night's sleep. I'm not depressed but do have ideation and intrusive thoughts. Just seeking some opinions.",2.4068475452196374,4.895738186046515,2.543643410852713,93.84541343669252,79.93023255813954,5.682687338501292,28.16020671834625,6.937597516519254,1.3360609819121452,348,16,71,4,9,105,65,86,0.07400000000000001,0.84,0.086,0.0067,0,0,1,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,2,1,6,4,0,0,3,0,6,5,3,1,0,21,14,9,2,2,5,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,1,0,3,6,1,1,2,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,4,2,9,2,7,7,3,6,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,4,5,46,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21315558569237286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665356943658516,0.1215852600918556,0.0,0.16972059785146865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109958037061488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15924772766512266,0.0,0.0,0.12863127981301908,0.0,0.17178937146946655,0.0,0.2070016821826283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915070444672591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974431118871996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22154834459416264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18717399519524253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18972635509862326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3991959321323698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15928416041595295,0.16675241044006728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21817021889271326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4498935828601383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19596246649609447,0.1583441355064307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793330300759725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ughwhydo-i-try22,2019/08/28,"Is there anyone here who I could message to understand more about bipolar? Hey everyone, I’m new here. I just have some question and concerns mostly because I feel like I’m bipolar. I struggle with suicidal thoughts and I’ve had people tell me that I can brush it off  and that we all have depressive thoughts and I try but it’s difficult. I start to ruminate in it and I can’t stop. 
I’ve been in therapy for 2 years so far and it’s been the toughest years of my life and I’m only 25, I have a lot of life, memories, and self health to learn and grow into. I’m just starting out on this journey and I’m just asking for a little insight and a way to ask to be tested for bipolar disorder.",1.3217438423645334,3.280419937931036,3.341699507389162,89.5514655172414,80.65517241379311,6.6256157635468,26.219211822660107,7.7094869923839395,1.4990591133004931,541,23,116,9,14,183,89,145,0.13,0.857,0.013000000000000001,-0.9259999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,0,0,8,4,0,1,4,0,11,6,0,0,1,32,24,13,1,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,6,0,0,1,8,15,0,1,7,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,5,2,12,1,18,17,5,17,0,1,0,0,9,8,0,4,7,77,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244385288077125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3327498800302036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848691321244636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14209201343512778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15328254937604172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20396537819068375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17005490989440603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998536450326096,0.12713952188658093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18917039285460371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25140643660179296,0.08694559204356582,0.17836949333886515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15130101445166735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17188145037937988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13535177558294584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12337977528692508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993635525262355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856581919524875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519316427930813,0.0,0.0,0.14878821878335238,0.0,0.1860495465441448,0.0,0.19466680076740364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15555083279621046,0.0,0.2035205528151994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825715300260592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208277793407818,0.0,0.0,0.1852697215584425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14126176706398014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22920957660379224
bipolarreddit,justthinkingalittle,2019/08/28,"Were any of you raised by a narcissistic parent? Wanted to ask because I feel like I was raised to basically become bipolar (2) and as a kid being subjected to the following I imagine it would alter your brain functioning and chemistry enough to express predispositions to mental illness.

My mom would raise me up to the highest degree on some days, saying I was the next Ghandi, I was destined to change the world. She stroked my young ego and made me feel like I was going to be very important and do significant things. IMO, this reeks of MANIA. Literally coaxing someone into a manic episode if it could be done.

Then, she would turn around and completely obliterate me. She would call me every name in the book, ungrateful, rotten, a bitch, like I was true scum of the earth. Manipulatively belittling. Soul crushing - I was made to feel worthless, a tragic mistake to be alive. Again, sounds pretty similar to DEPRESSION. If you could force someone to go into a depressive state, this is a good route you’d take.

This was day in and day out - I was constantly subjected to hate, much more than the self esteem building days. But it was one or the other - neutral interactions were nonexistent. I was either ghandi or the devil to her depending on her mood. 

So anyways was wondering if anyone else experienced similarly or has thought about this.",6.0601958105646645,7.8734135532786915,6.4778142076502725,72.76381602914391,67.15573770491804,9.520582877959928,31.998178506375226,9.861636050157227,3.380587249544627,1073,45,178,25,18,347,152,244,0.159,0.7559999999999999,0.085,-0.972,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,4,0,0,5,16,2,0,16,0,28,4,1,4,1,39,43,16,0,11,8,2,4,3,0,4,3,2,0,2,9,10,0,0,6,1,0,3,0,10,0,1,17,9,25,5,30,15,5,23,2,4,0,0,19,10,1,9,12,130,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490631854659073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08730217408662057,0.12792966208890866,0.0,0.11114825478717473,0.11672344663680435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761110202293398,0.13789357281169673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13938051785565062,0.12749187124857647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13208102587478218,0.0,0.13090907429757778,0.1349249118444406,0.0,0.1993746119001548,0.0,0.0,0.32208700076236835,0.0,0.2150764709014917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777097244702934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043011140694739,0.0,0.0,0.12900955885581422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519651178367066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893927395087814,0.17839421245783904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14191701242954846,0.10472323607514628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326938862924013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18299491207536425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23628341266454975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12582541790924054,0.0,0.0,0.14622976421812955,0.0,0.0,0.09178347968873377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13278570529356806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460561410269893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13863774216158856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12702337429013308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929045232889644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302519721965623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21158006023058712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387612599380604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294873652526473,0.0,0.0,0.09912166731084336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580740600171634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301922386800752,0.07364326645650955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354009375098928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3547763009692547,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bzthepeach,2019/08/28,"Started taking my Lamictal at night and it gave me 3 nightmares back to back to back... My pdoc just upped my Lamictal from 100mg to 150mg and advised I start taking it at night instead of morning. So last night I did just that and had no issues falling asleep. However after the first nightmare, I woke up and had a terrible time falling back asleep. Once I finally did, I had another and the same thing happened. This happened once more and now I'm extremely tired and wanting to switch back to my morning dose. Should I take like 50mg tonight and the other 100mg tomorrow morning before completely going back to all in the am? I already have extremely vivid dreams so I can't handle nightmares like that. Thanks in advance for any help you can give me.",4.54038961038961,6.064571659863951,4.953790970933832,83.34846011131728,70.49659863945578,8.066542980828695,31.730983302411875,8.575989854853784,2.544297959183674,602,27,113,10,11,191,89,147,0.08,0.8270000000000001,0.09300000000000001,0.4377,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,2,12,4,0,0,5,0,10,4,2,0,1,14,24,10,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,0,1,0,4,2,1,0,1,7,1,15,3,16,16,3,29,0,0,1,0,5,6,0,0,21,78,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14465884531595624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08914432139922877,0.13745717649445652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6047913889002817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154621564486633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13744325266976698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436004742393594,0.0,0.11150336857257906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12575153500123867,0.07450031979125299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318413350606687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786550958168528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368217930879228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10685419954091467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12808593075059507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3690515664356476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792088402785592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855694934857036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29568553991824315,0.0,0.0,0.12068819948883255,0.0,0.0,0.0870890288855311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07643845514884896,0.15066634885254387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731908680371978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ohnono27,2019/08/28,"Tired of this cycle... I want an end. This year is a mess again. I did so many wrong things because i was maniac / hypo from february to june/july. I was in a deep depressive episode in december/january so it felt like a reborn after. I spend way too much money on traveling and for a girl i met that just wanted my money.  
So now, i look at myself and i hate myself. I hate what i'm. I hate who i'm. And i know it will never end. My existence will be like this. I spent half of my life this way. It started when i was 16, i'm 33 now. And i dont see an end to this. A life like this one is impossible. The biggest problem is that i cannot build anything. When i'm getting hypo, i burn all my money. Thousands and thousands of €. I could have bought a house, cars with the money i made but no... I become crazy and buy or do shit with my money like traveling in SE asia and party hard. And, as i get older i think that what people liked about me my "" crazyness "" is seen as a juvenile behavior. And when you friends are all getting married and making a family....You are alone now. I'm not stupid and i know that what i did is stupid. But at the moment i forget everything and it seems like the logical move or the best move to do.

I never felt so serious about ending my life. Because it looks more and more like a relieve. It is not a way to avoid my condition. But this is a logic end to my life as i cant stand it anymore. I dont see how it could change.  
I will probably end my life dependent of my family. Alone. I can see it coming. Now i'm young so it's ok. But in 10 years, 15 years....Things will get worse. I dont want to experience that.

I want to go, have a blast of this life one last time and end it in the middle of nowhere.",-0.6886957813428403,1.3444798689839599,2.0700499108734443,95.02435591206181,89.88235294117645,5.463481877599525,17.402020202020203,6.937597516519254,-0.008189708853237665,1317,34,313,20,45,457,165,374,0.111,0.7440000000000001,0.145,0.9479,0,3,0,0,0,1,60.0,0,1,0,1,18,24,7,1,20,1,31,8,1,4,4,51,68,32,0,7,9,0,3,7,1,4,7,0,0,1,29,17,0,1,8,2,9,7,10,13,0,5,12,9,46,11,31,49,6,48,0,1,6,0,5,11,1,4,33,209,75,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624737289774814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778822420572394,0.0,0.0,0.06454679917075527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562868461423736,0.08662727779108702,0.0,0.0,0.08231457735746323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297572893416219,0.0675663537641047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525079695447447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06755749673899869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27578201929145063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4863020346788759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049393385841005,0.07672623650999992,0.07394322978331119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15062324777632305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06060007337175353,0.0,0.1639199524525321,0.0,0.04457743826756811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026396190902684,0.23232028920966896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905055304919526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08621362264393295,0.06393645687712579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33241336844982555,0.26824179284625843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13173430624987925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421879210523205,0.05235716984274195,0.07952259915308457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16673180011012273,0.05766006949784463,0.0,0.12099058380889735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630160472480436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05437819765220868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456813154373162,0.07505341985005143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875119114955019,0.07140591243604122,0.0,0.0,0.0805142430673907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05551796732806821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05210992140443167,0.05025913120122809,0.0,0.0,0.045737126031318735,0.09015155752073307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850562160567923,0.1867784312033695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799337953135863,0.0,0.08575832229593089,0.0,0.1010214488667571
bipolarreddit,heroineheros,2019/08/28,"Ask your Dr. If killing yourself is right for you. I posted in this subreddit a long time ago and things started to get better however in the two years since I've had several major episodes and have had to take an LOA at work for a few weeks. The LOA was only a few months ago and since then I've bought a new house, my fiance moved out of state to live in our new home, I gained a promotion at work, and ultimately I feel worse than ever. I can't stop feeling like a failure and wonder if it's worth going on. Every time I visit my fiance in our new home I have a break down the day I leave him. I've tried hiding my issues for his sake since he worries being 300+ miles from me. I don't like him worrying though so I tell him it's all fine or I just let him know the bare minimum like I'm more sad than usual. Today during our conversations I let it slip that it's gotten pretty bad and when he seemed put off by it I said ""hey you signed up for depression when you chose me don't forget"". I meant it as a joke but in all seriousness I don't think he realized what he got himself in to. We've been together for nearly 6 years and so far plan on still getting married once I move up in a few months. The more we are apart though the more I fear he realizes how much better off he is without me. Today was especially hard since all I could do was continue to toy with a thought ""ask your doctor if killing yourself is right for you"". I mean it mostly as a joke. I try to make light of my condition since I truly believed I would be dead by 23 from it. I'm 29 now and it's getting hard to picture a future for myself. I now try to live for him and my pets not for myself. The only thing that keeps me going is my obligations to my pets. I can't stand knowing that if I left them the would suffer so much.  I just don't know who to turn to anymore. Living in the south the answer is always, bless your heart I'll pray you get through these dark times. Or have you read the good book? If you give yourself over to Jesus and God you'll see your life change for the better. I'm an agnostic person and just barely at that. I want to believe that there's more after this but I'm finding it harder and harder to believe that anything good will come from this life. I just want to know something will get better.",3.066983347310412,3.717819484725055,4.3414478255660764,89.65785761351385,73.09368635437882,7.2428657002515875,23.402479932910023,7.285733465282438,0.6873243800167721,1801,44,409,18,34,595,237,491,0.10400000000000001,0.7929999999999999,0.10300000000000001,-0.1266,1,0,1,0,0,1,35.0,4,12,1,9,17,21,2,1,26,0,32,5,1,2,4,63,71,32,3,10,15,0,4,3,0,5,4,1,4,1,24,16,0,2,16,5,2,7,8,8,0,1,12,7,64,13,61,49,14,69,4,3,1,0,40,28,0,10,33,260,88,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12972486625931198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060884843729627915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256681674009262,0.0,0.0,0.060214200727815276,0.0,0.13681161096783806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061095441224597126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24731886531701466,0.0,0.25885823244879386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774061186885647,0.06303107265219288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584217709168189,0.0,0.0,0.04718979210664923,0.0,0.0630228101404272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489449254362593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618813059608478,0.06165044239185075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233867809614343,0.0739957753259101,0.05227398671159545,0.0,0.0,0.0668777484161178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19114636680432645,0.07019310930262666,0.0831705011018204,0.12274615808584585,0.0585222155648612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131095216515047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08670899862457505,0.0,0.0,0.14679467011927275,0.0,0.0,0.08443049461837586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637240433770717,0.0,0.06503850537313034,0.16190762901895087,0.0,0.16085334814575766,0.0,0.0,0.07747842760193988,0.07950143285082854,0.1496463553560619,0.10336688805433347,0.10724421460004402,0.0,0.1938362614504452,0.0647547877025659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04884278035400358,0.0,0.0,0.07970559945033483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681015061698168,0.15554020042080774,0.10757946306642148,0.0,0.0,0.2120094960192653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792563583315101,0.0,0.11130098356867484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389084004606703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07007840901850053,0.0744420806955686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07355792289977052,0.0,0.0,0.07319165477380546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497672605186545,0.06960318879879614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05830849359277567,0.06661290722103948,0.0,0.0826633668371043,0.0,0.3026425664763196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05633126762456678,0.0,0.0,0.0517914144719854,0.0,0.05843513667000159,0.06117494588709658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055016127430659145,0.0,0.06395542507876092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972242561263603,0.046885569128693634,0.1437819489645,0.058090278248940176,0.12800128850437248,0.0,0.1387167225848357,0.0,0.0,0.14903665605930502,0.0795899647063692,0.07147826851602558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058845891275421,0.0,0.08631730994201099,0.0,0.05869404716425732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070535055563888,0.07935175374372053,0.1065399615407978,0.1486191380111141,0.07456836989260217,0.1039583705488136,0.0,0.0,0.0942405491523378
bipolarreddit,half_assed_housewife,2019/08/28,"Depression creeping up I've been on meds now for about a year and I don't think they're as effective as they should be, but since I was so far ""off the chains"" for so long before I was diagnosed, any difference is a good difference in my opinion.  

I have just recently decided that it might be time to bring it up to my doctor. 

My swings are drastic. Mania with psychosis and deep lows haunted me for many years, and my family's inability to ever admit anything may have been out of the ordinary delayed my getting treatment.  

I've felt okay, but recently I feel the depression. I have been kind of uncontrollable when my anger hits and now I am getting more depressed just thinking about this illness and how I am basically unable to function in real life. 

I have been thinking about the fact that I am barely capable of keeping a job/career. I work from home, but only when I am on an upswing. Luckily my husband is the breadwinner. 

I'm kind of on a spiral and just need to cent I guess.",3.958307692307692,5.502961548717948,5.273846153846153,80.40615384615388,71.97435897435899,8.687179487179487,30.43589743589743,9.21078282632365,2.7483435897435893,782,34,149,17,15,261,117,195,0.17800000000000002,0.737,0.085,-0.9706,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,2,14,10,1,1,10,1,23,4,0,2,2,34,37,16,0,2,6,1,2,0,0,3,4,0,1,0,5,8,0,2,8,0,1,1,1,6,0,0,7,2,22,4,28,24,1,25,0,4,0,0,3,12,0,4,12,109,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003778417056736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146800832629172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560271031424547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3814011545957857,0.14981802781648268,0.0,0.3084358584992481,0.0,0.15108204931598734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13351900882465825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915077070253198,0.0,0.0746345491990073,0.0,0.14172589617206752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15423716129343532,0.0,0.0,0.12380577315796255,0.0,0.0,0.16260578433352868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14806188570785356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14647720061850428,0.13119990993326602,0.0,0.3074200136390701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425921017869333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13062757616558526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496503600511878,0.0,0.0,0.16395813412709145,0.0,0.0,0.15658773213057978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944874203596552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11226179734541482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16800911483712178,0.0,0.0,0.2914882683293637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210206011305362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837418731363962,0.0,0.0,0.08607084591283648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745967545112982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19010817499438404
bipolarreddit,etb4uynewo,2019/08/28,"Episode I just had my first mania episode in 3.5 years. I’ve been off and on different medications and finally 2 years ago my doctor put me on lithium (am now on the highest dose my body will allow) and it’s been working great. 

I feel so hopeless and embarrassed. Why now? Why did I have this after so long. I’ve been doing so well and now... this. 

Just need some kind words of encouragement :(. Thank you",1.056750000000001,3.579201175000001,2.427500000000002,91.90750000000004,87.25,5.7,21.75,7.1686216300943375,0.7576,314,11,66,5,10,101,56,80,0.068,0.7559999999999999,0.175,0.8585,1,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,1,0,2,9,7,0,1,1,0,9,4,1,1,0,12,12,8,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,5,1,8,5,7,6,1,16,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,1,10,44,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028405360246746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541742181529688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390745771832749,0.0,0.23421321525940805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157013544393736,0.0,0.0,0.2506678137375979,0.0,0.1946393685154355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522815892354932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23828717625780346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025039027058487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305182276504509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16967165784683602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23003343830821035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21067233426657306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20574214983217773,0.0,0.4129599373345726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16658813017224736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29471301927740795
bipolarreddit,meggsovereasy,2019/10/20,"Professionals out there I work a high-pace, often stressful 9-5ish job. I’m at the top of my game professionally, but always feel like I’m about to fall apart. I’m not out about bp at work, or really in my personal life except for my husband and a few close friends. How do you cope? I’m about at my wit’s end this week.",0.4955279503105601,2.4161806231884064,2.790517598343687,92.6126086956522,83.34782608695652,6.2616977225672885,18.55279503105589,7.447530270364453,0.17920124223602496,249,6,60,4,7,85,52,69,0.033,0.8340000000000001,0.133,0.7684,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,3,6,3,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,11,6,4,0,0,4,1,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,6,2,13,6,1,12,0,0,0,0,5,9,0,2,3,32,7,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517203942416312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679424162347175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529629099482218,0.21611993622020936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23372575575929186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3196283798428889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002038477908285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136784150100864,0.14779570921972351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641482914244359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19380168881089527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465349769124355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24266283342095785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4404754858307616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,blwilkins,2019/10/20,"Rapid Mood/Emotional Fluctuations Hi all,

I'm diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Generally, my periods of depression and (hypo)mania are weeks to months long, and have a gradual and progressive onset. 

I think I'm heading into (or already in) a mild-moderate depression phase, but this time it feels different. Rather than experiencing extended feelings of emotional numbness, I keep oscillating between feeling numb and trapped with very dark thoughts, and feeling intense anger/being self-destructive. I'm not typically an angry or violent person, nor do I engage in self-destructive behaviours when I am stable.

Can anyone relate?",8.772058823529411,11.623753607843142,9.164852941176473,52.064338235294144,61.941176470588246,13.727450980392158,45.102941176470594,12.602617957971056,7.638858823529412,516,33,62,22,8,171,80,102,0.221,0.6609999999999999,0.11800000000000001,-0.9274,1,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,2,6,1,0,3,0,5,5,1,0,1,22,15,10,0,1,5,0,4,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,8,0,1,6,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,5,5,1,10,14,1,9,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,2,6,38,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20727184851000147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13133305843709506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3235503699292032,0.190640527976874,0.0,0.1962393170177213,0.2152661011804008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42256035837094413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3798840519258085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19276476764966266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16694933490136615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16622105130799705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14992177974688045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640033575615834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3918892067696999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12035200590174147,0.0,0.14911371751636984,0.10952347823146337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15497700818970456,0.0,0.0,0.15066355046944932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CatInTheScat,2019/10/20,Bipolar disorder and eating disorders I binge eat like a mother fucker multiple times a week. Some months I binge eat more than half the days. Does anyone else have issues with binge eating? Is there a connection between bipolar and eating disorders?,5.215116279069769,8.653921674418608,5.0523720930232585,74.15716279069768,76.44186046511628,8.091162790697675,27.20465116279069,8.841846274778883,3.096640930232559,204,8,28,5,5,63,32,43,0.16399999999999998,0.78,0.055999999999999994,-0.7059,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,4,0,2,8,0,0,0,4,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,3,2,2,4,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,5,17,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497784518500804,0.15383099449522206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682461993611824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5162029662345897,0.0,0.1313841031493981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7681276558962267,0.12541848264334488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15670187753516504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733483510976917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119836281675167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754489447463197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204291978304997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,abducted_brain,2019/10/20,"A Day in the Life by The Beatles How did it take me 17 years of diagnosis to realize this song encompasses bipolar like no other song in history...? 

My personal experience and opinion of course. 

Yours??",3.4352702702702693,6.268038945945951,6.195878378378378,67.11652027027029,78.45945945945945,11.267567567567568,33.57432432432432,10.686352973137794,5.10105945945946,159,9,27,7,4,57,33,37,0.055999999999999994,0.866,0.077,0.212,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,1,0,4,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,3,1,6,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,19,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285616225484361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4983527760949898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3598489306772017,0.2488979896209248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4448436226223703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3830529292033453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3280776027723252
bipolarreddit,gionkim123,2019/10/20,"Ex is bipolar - was it love or mania? Will he come back? New love for him already?? Need advice 

Please help with any advice for a girl with a broken heart. I feel like I lost a part of myself and a void in my heart.  


My ex and I met 3 years ago at a music festival. We kept in touch as friends for a little bit but then lost contact. Three years later he found me on Instagram and contacted me and told me he had feelings for me but wasn’t ready to date then but now he was. 

Our first couple months was the best thing I ever felt in my entire life. he said and did all the right things and I fell in love with him. I’ve always been very cautious but this time I felt it in my soul that was it and became venerable. If he had asked me to marry him I would have said yes without hesitation. 

I know that sounds crazy and I am a very logical person so this overwhelming feeling of being whole in another level was completely different and new for me.  I knew he was the one. It was like he saw me and understood me. And wasn’t after just for sex or money. He used to tell me he never felt the way he felt about me with anyone EVER and would always have me in his life. I believed it all. 

Then it took a turn. His friend got into an accident and my ex went into depression. I couldn’t get a hold of him half the time. He started flaking on me and just disappeared. After reaching out to him numerous times, I finally got him in the phone and he told me he might be bipolar and was working things through and that he still had feelings for me but couldn’t be in a relationship now. 

A week later I found a new Instagram account in suggestion feed that wasn’t private and it was my ex. He had created a new account two months ago for “gaming” purposes and I saw he was in a new relationship and was in LOVE already.  And based on all the posts, it was like he replaced me for someone else immediately.  

I freaked out and called and texted him numerous times the minute I found out. When I threaten to go to his home he finally called me back.  He told me he met the new girl way long after we were broken up (we’ve only officially broke up about 2 weeks ago) When I asked him why did he say he still had feelings for me he told me he meant just as friends he still cared. Then when I asked him if Now he is ready to be in a relationship he was silent (thinking he just didn’t want to answer me).  He told me he is now on mood stabilizers from being bipolar.  He told me when he got out of depression his feeling for me were just GONE. 

When I asked for a face to face apology his response was - “I’ve apologized and explained myself a million times. I’m done explaining myself to you. Move on. I’m done!”  This was the first time he ever used such harsh words. His language has always been sweet and respectful and caring. 

I’ve always been a cautious person when letting someone into my life and this just came out of nowhere and fell in love hard and now he is just gone.  I’m so heartbroken by the fact that anyone could ever do this to another human being. I never thought in all my years (at 39) would feel such heart ache and betrayal. 

After reading a lot of information online and forums. They all say be understanding and supportive and that once they are on right medication, things will get better and what they feel is real and it’s the depression and can get better 

I’ve cried every day for the last month and I’ve never been this devistated before.  
Most of my breakups have been very amicable and communicative and I remain friends with a lot of them.  I have been in love and been heartbroken but this time I feel like I’ve lost the love of my life. 

Was I a manic episode and he never loved me or is she a manic episode and will he come back?  These are the types of questions going on in my head.   

If you have any advise on a personal level.  Please help.",2.552210157483344,4.213771452350701,3.904164837703593,88.31003879326944,75.89961880559083,7.1076893458087875,23.360074698702398,7.898369717300924,1.0529772977551883,3011,90,645,46,66,990,279,787,0.102,0.746,0.152,0.9915,1,0,0,0,0,0,61.0,3,2,4,9,34,35,0,1,39,1,73,24,6,2,14,141,153,68,0,11,20,4,15,4,4,7,8,5,1,6,28,60,1,2,29,2,3,13,11,9,0,7,73,23,89,25,88,62,12,126,1,8,2,9,120,42,0,11,72,429,117,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003651132424567,0.12251260755495665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167694014600173,0.0,0.15333294596955915,0.0,0.0,0.06265722508339107,0.09661507442935212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06442526381606284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722738046737536,0.0,0.0,0.10627303452429866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039201466964789385,0.05190417391519715,0.048346747294274406,0.08148886680670689,0.050295597274266746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408353830276307,0.052690852740821977,0.0939411698201318,0.0,0.0,0.0793690142353028,0.04830264386755143,0.0,0.0,0.036782480231099784,0.0509746557385659,0.05060481542011274,0.0297108007517251,0.0,0.11903791506419005,0.0,0.0,0.04813247296759722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428950302849676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03848487658261498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16668879200189116,0.038815259156479584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20964559019332726,0.06582364254440949,0.1769344952173169,0.1009330386419329,0.0,0.07837281783681675,0.0,0.15153738736897746,0.14237169295520982,0.0,0.07220771313047544,0.0,0.05236433720819753,0.0,0.11053716123187377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041268923675063296,0.0,0.047280255093655264,0.0,0.0,0.16377654995983926,0.06175838151564121,0.0,0.04621112957514376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025318408726010704,0.03755251891904916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04710884334007619,0.13016005700416905,0.09002826951942125,0.04617340696325247,0.0,0.04076976204521373,0.0,0.0,0.15086980974625197,0.07833271467512291,0.33263376655696464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046409837849124363,0.0,0.04887210469304664,0.0,0.0,0.11031590591403977,0.04896423248847985,0.0,0.03415970272079421,0.14212552304054638,0.2669633245879249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049062158071343016,0.031217659044081775,0.035037676567915836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049888417183721785,0.0,0.0,0.12067745588997195,0.0,0.10114021953543442,0.0,0.0,0.04412152616907143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05160800915067621,0.0,0.0460816327980215,0.052436796535623394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14838312958408692,0.0,0.07868563179804106,0.08764465286950697,0.07327209949386246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806850941105638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032607992689384024,0.0,0.11037268601937393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05227874343670718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04026648151389519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242522685739753,0.02951926127086222,0.0,0.03657377169125831,0.18804310750694048,0.0,0.0,0.2641263731933049,0.05118453833877118,0.0,0.050110023326306936,0.045002880901836115,0.0479596263427995,0.0,0.07957793542118018,0.0,0.11403565968306588,0.02717278761597503,0.07313511898138161,0.07390781195511517,0.0,0.0,0.042706578269293985,0.041570256558938486,0.05143457842161945,0.0,0.04440903187567232,0.0,0.033538901403520734,0.0,0.0,0.09817864084469866,0.0,0.0,0.08900109706788913
bipolarreddit,thesixthrobin,2019/10/20,"Acne from Lithium? I started taking Lithium in the last 4-6 months and noticed acne popping up in places not very common for me.

 I typically am acne prone on my face, but it started popping up on my back, chest, and occasionally arms. 

Anyone else experience this?",4.688469387755101,6.743275346938777,6.526275510204084,70.09104591836736,71.04081632653063,7.348979591836735,32.65816326530612,8.07648339933343,2.8025877551020404,208,10,33,3,4,72,38,49,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,4,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,8,4,0,13,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,6,22,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21351824235217545,0.3128824325363244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348067636514441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25509319538126857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29870547298442834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24891315488856605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24373935460580398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.347659969408487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3190413331467833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4322777043209537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22959640616900398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519580278373996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,2sugoiii2dieee,2019/10/20,Haha I hate myself I ruined things again. Unsurprisingly. Went back to the ole’ bruising myself with a hairbrush.  I guess I’m glad I have work and school to distract myself? I hurt the people I care about the most and I hate it. I hate myself. That’s all. Just wanted to tell someone I guess.,0.30739463601532435,2.721963379310345,1.978505747126437,92.35595785440613,96.24137931034485,3.267432950191571,15.06513409961686,5.033348758259628,-0.8828337164750955,228,5,45,1,9,74,38,58,0.3,0.561,0.139,-0.8909999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,9,3,1,4,1,1,0,0,0,1,9,10,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,1,0,13,3,5,9,2,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,33,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16556770584836894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21953297995280752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4743982722732597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6377514458506618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305043974652113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14927570163340606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179152258265781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824398455362876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18819907599374294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304896843877338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12700125089737518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199603696845528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15675544563807253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,yesihaveshatmyself,2019/10/20,"I really need bernie to win I’ve been on Obamacare for years, but it covers next to nothing. I can’t hold down regular employment and can’t get disability as of now. I’m rationing psych appointments and stretching meds. I’m the most stable I’ve ever been, and my pdoc is even tempted to call it “remission,” but I know all of that could change in an instant and I can’t afford any major medical bills.

I’m so desperate for a medical system that I can rely on outside of employment. For me, this disability is political, plain and simple. I need relief. I need something I can count on.

And for some stupid reason my future rests on the opinions of people who know nothing about me or my struggle. I just have to hope there’s enough US voters in important states out there with the same problems I have.

What a broken system we’ve built for ourselves. Here’s hoping for change in 2020.",3.036982758620692,5.234476304597699,4.384583333333335,82.99687500000002,76.183908045977,7.338505747126438,25.242816091954023,8.278499904357787,1.7718057471264372,703,25,132,13,16,232,107,174,0.10800000000000001,0.7829999999999999,0.109,-0.1772,3,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,0,1,9,7,1,1,6,0,12,2,0,1,2,29,23,11,0,7,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,8,0,1,3,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,16,4,26,20,7,18,0,0,0,0,3,10,0,6,5,90,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11360081650960308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17057836118790273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3534368853024249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13337710956525892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17260895860797704,0.0,0.11033600636308673,0.15110773617258152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727756625029748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3318398636335028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18361438127339508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18555666862057896,0.3365738247566499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3715999343069705,0.0,0.0,0.17766127186253505,0.0,0.0,0.3205810313998086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581254574940797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15984582048170473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10701753262300497,0.17175686730470588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286044831576439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17463860321265928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009425063960076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075757534607952
bipolarreddit,MoreChilli7,2019/10/20,"Should I be concerned about side effects? This is my first time posting here. I’m not really sure where else to turn right now besides my psychiatrist, so, here goes.
I’ve been taking quetiapine 150mg and lamotrigine 200mg for a little over a year now, and within the last few months got prescribed bupropion 150mg. 
Anyway, I’ve started to notice recently it feels like I’ve been sucking on the tip of my tongue, sort of pushing it against the back of my teeth and swallowing. It doesn’t happen voluntarily, but it feels like it’s something that I do anyway. I feel like I do it because it seems like there’s a lot of saliva in my mouth, and I just have to get rid of it. 
Has anyone else experienced this feeling? I don’t know if this is something like tardive dyskinesia or whatever. I’m just anxious because I don’t know if this will be permanent, and I’m just scared to go off the meds I’m taking right now because I feel like they help me a lot. Any feedback is appreciated.",4.206627991298042,5.3174810659898535,5.4115627266134885,81.32711928934012,70.82741116751271,8.26816533720087,29.299854967367658,8.634040054169528,2.1237327048585932,778,30,157,13,14,259,112,197,0.040999999999999995,0.813,0.146,0.9655,0,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,2,16,9,1,1,8,0,16,3,2,1,1,27,37,10,0,3,8,0,5,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,13,5,1,0,9,0,0,2,4,2,0,1,3,6,15,7,17,30,3,24,0,0,0,0,2,10,1,7,17,97,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758057439437462,0.0,0.0,0.14549431034377047,0.0,0.09005189111088753,0.13195900469617944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990303820390376,0.0,0.23552476365241384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151724780097536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32559659469868896,0.3680260282894339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10954740485105786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728665883574858,0.0,0.07319345413670941,0.0,0.1030039026861541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388721667439658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632419516836436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14155754749907326,0.10497979035965146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3775172398274242,0.12907987859994802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21898269947280047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14305495435521953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279772622049327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14662652410349694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334375165516262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08250519023865636,0.0,0.1271630747170385,0.0,0.0,0.21996929548938585,0.0,0.0,0.12893972351762056,0.0,0.0,0.11724418405576535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982953089722908,0.0,0.0,0.09115714032285904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138160667724048,0.0,0.1936657996058256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509759121698527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14008487033993475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293555071593732
bipolarreddit,GWW20,2019/10/20,"Taking Lamotrigine, APPETITE BARELY THERE. I started lamotrigine a few weeks ago, ever since my appetite has been shit. 

I have to force myself to eat some days, I feel like I'm always shaky/hungry. But when I go to eat I feel sick and lose my appetite quickly. I can even eat 3 meals a day (sometimes) and wake up at 3am STARVING like I haven't eaten at all. 

Has anyone else encountered loss of appetite/anxiety feels worse/shaky/weak. Freaking out",3.1723275862068974,5.403437540229888,4.113318965517242,84.9417025862069,75.89655172413794,6.189080459770117,25.81752873563219,7.1686216300943375,1.2903114942528735,354,13,66,4,8,114,62,87,0.214,0.727,0.059000000000000004,-0.9222,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,5,6,1,0,2,0,6,8,2,0,2,10,14,4,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,3,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,3,10,2,8,12,3,13,0,2,0,0,0,4,1,1,10,37,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17249715433021506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16191903045337314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488650117518059,0.0,0.0,0.13606568618163326,0.1993860684138392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25099597591597805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.597359279324599,0.16255955597727456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12852848115114707,0.1760227550427974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951799692125995,0.13901905183268468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059309736040826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901390470495969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21770256971648652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997494667370729,0.16097139431079788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924599083359016,0.0,0.137735684341288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14631158539931755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15609275852664134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,spaghettistorms,2019/10/20,"The mess of depression When I'm manic or even not experiencing an episode, everything is clean. I've lapsed into a depressive episode which almost got me hospitalized 3 weeks ago, and my room is a mess. Half eaten noodle bowls, empty beer cans everywhere, clothes strewn across the floor whether dirty or clean, I don't know. It makes me get anxiety but I have no motivation to fix any of it. I couldn't even get out of bed for work today let alone go about fixing even the simplest things in my life, like my own mess. Does anyone else experience a change in personal environment from depressive episodes? I just want to fix it so bad, but I'm just laying in bed drinking too much to try and knock myself out. Any tips or tricks to pull yourself out of a slump to get simple things done?",5.490980392156863,6.322816431372553,5.647588235294119,81.82314705882352,67.69281045751634,9.257254901960783,28.3718954248366,9.3871,2.203290718954248,626,20,126,12,10,198,105,153,0.198,0.733,0.07,-0.9592,0,1,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,9,9,1,0,8,0,8,4,0,2,0,21,19,10,0,2,9,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,1,6,6,3,0,2,2,0,2,4,8,0,1,3,1,10,1,20,14,2,16,0,3,0,0,1,10,0,4,5,73,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14694970280558467,0.0,0.1659999056744232,0.17169310069251642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22546562647840146,0.0,0.12681756588981566,0.0,0.0,0.11591386666096792,0.16985627160491326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841535843689726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17536816902753033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4283457822926269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14507098509205338,0.1696455743321165,0.0,0.1623965740123081,0.0,0.0,0.1384838986580546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3284788467476635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489880506877649,0.16215994467259448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25983208250712764,0.0,0.0942138602376608,0.0,0.13258556254882084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09110570851563927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16951636243397306,0.11709191859299438,0.0809893837500285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11065622596784233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12186383830216675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14474850084641733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202673389495536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571354956516912,0.0,0.0,0.11255047160747364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09777850159892182,0.0,0.13297485726450614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068631201394535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hippopopo_,2019/10/20,"On a low dose of quetiapine but it's still making me drowsy af. I'm currently on a very low dose of 25mg of quetiapine and it's sedating effect is too strong for me at times. It makes it very hard for me to wake up the next morning and there's the drowsy aftereffect the next day. I was on 100mg before and I don't recall it being as bad as this.

Anyone has similar experiences?",0.2998238482384821,2.391756109756102,3.360894308943092,87.19453929539299,85.46341463414635,7.059078590785908,18.86720867208672,8.167268648758528,0.8538655826558269,299,8,68,7,9,107,54,82,0.135,0.81,0.055,-0.6746,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,5,0,5,3,1,3,0,7,8,6,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,5,1,13,6,0,13,0,2,0,0,0,7,0,0,6,41,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862586613823668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22241566190370488,0.0,0.0,0.2266692390095039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17179266793269368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26057015519029963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386236089728473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3556206192772157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5665950012689042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21273092296875487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15532796302847132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4395817844184967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Sm412,2019/10/20,"Does controlling the highs reduce the intensity of the lows? I cant find anything about this in the academic/medical research. Reading that stuff is fucking grueling anyway. Talk about a way to make you feel hopeless.

Anyway, I've noticed for me, severe and prolonged mania increases the intensity and duration of depression. Lows happen anyway for me, but they're much more manageable when they're not a rebound off a balls-to-the-walls high.

Experiences from the people who have been there is invaluable. What are your experiences with this?",6.421394736842108,9.064416021052633,6.5549342105263175,69.21766447368424,67.73684210526315,10.223684210526317,33.98026315789474,10.411451182825502,4.353657894736843,442,21,66,13,8,141,71,95,0.107,0.893,0.0,-0.7438,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,2,0,1,7,5,1,0,9,0,6,1,0,2,0,9,10,4,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,2,1,0,1,2,5,0,0,1,1,5,0,11,9,3,9,0,4,0,1,4,6,1,0,1,48,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17039693338113815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23224111562305366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783448663469476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812040635155868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4050987989843936,0.0,0.0,0.10469833566079656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18925374917876464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19142834741619474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18310698319625046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4375512914972026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821756146446948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300026454957733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522166729752815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357449876214203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14355286771412715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20712113374920646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23392462312459075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237039998455742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664310830837839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164358637493388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,littlebitchbabyface,2019/10/20,"Hobbies I know I’m slipping into hypomania when I suddenly MUST go to Michaels or Hobby Lobby to start a career in jewelry making, decoupage, or scrapbooking. Does anyone else have this issue?",5.8472549019607865,8.566693529411769,7.224117647058829,63.455196078431406,69.58823529411765,9.239215686274509,34.86274509803922,9.725611199111238,4.424639215686275,156,8,20,4,3,53,30,34,0.0,0.963,0.037000000000000005,0.0258,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,6,7,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,6,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,3,13,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29381763257872423,0.4305504512896183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36772488593000735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35102798678083363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388126129214327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4385856329674275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23093409237021234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804906028979525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974237945689381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Walbs,2019/10/20,Is Bipolar the right definition for me? After a breakup with my first post high-school GF I fell into a deep long lasting depression that led into a DXM addiction. After dealing with a few asshole docs I met one who I liked and respected. He recommended I take a few weeks/months off of therapy to think about my issues(as if I wasn't constantly aware) because I believe he had no idea what to do with me. After that time I engaged in risky drug habits that could have ended my life(thus the DXM and DPH) This ended once I started attending a local college and my mother found 50 pills of dph which I intended on splitting up but still taking a large dose of. I was admitted to a psych ward. I will also admit I was/am still very focused on my ex-girlfriend despite knowing that it is completely over. I want to meet other women but I have become extremely introverted and embaressed about my weight/social skills. I don't know if this even speaks to Bipolar I'm just god damn lonely,4.684174107142859,6.0818059739583346,5.491904761904763,80.11500000000002,69.98958333333334,8.402380952380952,30.380952380952376,8.841846274778883,2.5211014880952383,785,32,145,14,14,256,128,192,0.068,0.823,0.10800000000000001,0.6378,0,2,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,7,6,1,0,10,0,11,6,0,2,0,25,23,9,0,4,5,1,0,1,1,1,6,1,0,1,11,9,0,0,7,0,0,3,3,3,0,2,5,1,23,3,25,16,2,28,0,2,0,0,12,11,1,2,14,98,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179678369284904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13180667119793374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10047287692487114,0.1820309848441581,0.0,0.18569594787867014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17281086589848532,0.17811210546117207,0.0,0.13159553493717474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16992241063503216,0.14195941484693886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19113912942064296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.291963589172046,0.0,0.0,0.10886220152400054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14019599579706318,0.0,0.18071686509910484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17414161276060847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18606196753988447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811617660975654,0.13435047838922992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641739641604265,0.0805228345970768,0.0,0.0,0.14586070900855094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155792793768548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17552815623106682,0.11168644734073284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15785221121533669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14075556818457613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16680686299900355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666060075956634,0.0,0.26325128281936344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478485881476453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18848628695555236,0.0,0.0,0.10561014247769203,0.0,0.0,0.0961079963230582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599394370745846,0.09721523669943002,0.0,0.0,0.20070662637042466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wheres_jaykwellin_at,2019/10/20,"Going to start the whole thing over again... Hi all. So, I was diagnosed bipolar at 29 and went to the same clinic for years getting my prescriptions from doctors there and meds from their pharmacy. I was finally put on a regimen that works amazingly for me about a year and a half ago.

I'm 33 now and recently relocated. My doc initially told me I could still get my meds from them, but they've been spotty in the past at best when it comes to getting things refilled in a timely manner. I called pretty recently when I was going back into town just to see if I could come grab my scripts while I was there. I got no answer and no prescriptions.

I called again to see if they could fill them remotely and was given the run around by the pharmacy. I called my current one and haven't heard anything back. I left another message (two weeks later) with my docs MA and still haven't heard anything back.

So, I decided to say ""fuck it"" and looked into people who take my insurance out here. I found the place nearest to my house and have an appointment set up for next Friday. However, I have to go through the entire process of essentially being diagnosed all over again. I have to be there half an hour early to fill out paperwork and then do a 90 minute intake with a therapist before I can actually see a prescribing doctor. Not exactly how I expected to spend my Friday night, but it beats the alternative. 

It's a small victory for me, as I wasn't sure how to go about this and was afraid of having to look for alternative care out here. I know it's the smarter choice in the long run, but I'm worried they may not give me some of the medications I need. I guess I'll find out soon enough; but does anyone here have any stories about having to do something similar? How easy was the process? Did they take you seriously and give you what you'd previously been prescribed, or did they try to force alternatives on you? My big concern is them not being able to get my medical records in a timely manner, seeing as how my previous clinic works. 

Any advice/assuaging of my fears would be radical.",6.495360551431602,6.273942256097563,6.903637327677625,77.31713149522801,65.46341463414635,10.837751855779429,32.21633085896076,10.472087959537523,3.1573266171792147,1655,59,327,38,23,540,215,410,0.053,0.89,0.057,0.6648,2,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,0,4,8,4,29,8,1,2,23,0,34,10,0,4,4,58,69,32,0,8,11,1,1,0,0,2,9,3,0,0,11,24,0,0,5,0,1,12,8,4,0,4,19,10,50,4,55,40,7,69,0,0,6,1,25,24,1,6,32,235,61,4,0.0888020038897681,0.0,0.08665794595335033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871761844196394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077681559101912,0.09311664386777628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620924258691593,0.0,0.14615296556036328,0.07905261058002397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048497787119775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556396473355524,0.0,0.09319222443405023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720303238921002,0.0,0.09053956130893352,0.0,0.0,0.15299012656848635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21270352266347514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18026432936123546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817852276885416,0.07771123203008004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09175620829006632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09992694280265102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727825465358272,0.08116342277130267,0.0,0.0,0.0973668137236594,0.0,0.08209602165966368,0.18558152745942727,0.1703739477146728,0.20187290101415167,0.0,0.07102307472808704,0.0,0.09782541891102234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745208602993179,0.1024655897035241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048803258964783186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648363705738967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858697900634852,0.14914263582244544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19727801468554612,0.17891735294861005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06584556067815744,0.0,0.0,0.0944419385735376,0.0833346650378274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06017453604963124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477156086896774,0.061564128282125076,0.0,0.09277919352174063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034356285256942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927054118727057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17536253137514504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061891774459414,0.0,0.0,0.2830547994637744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06836412106772166,0.0,0.0,0.06285451541458352,0.0,0.14183479003318716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369483773755836,0.0,0.13353611075872573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031059709298726,0.11799221101928455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035623251898442,0.0,0.0,0.08485412024294628,0.0,0.060290731524524736,0.0,0.08674665436446888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712316110660702,0.0,0.0,0.08232034727502156,0.0,0.09914426604054036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129297832917026,0.09018274550190702,0.0,0.06308239570932983,0.0,0.0,0.11437115803389565
bipolarreddit,MoistWalrus,2019/10/20,"Lithium side effects I'm on lithium now and my mental clarity feels off. My skin has also been breaking out in painful cyst like acne on my arms, legs, and scalp. Anyone else ever deal with this?",2.407894736842106,4.913615315789475,3.3307894736842094,88.10302631578949,80.05263157894737,4.852631578947369,25.28947368421053,5.985473137389443,0.8610315789473688,154,6,28,1,4,49,33,38,0.069,0.8079999999999999,0.124,0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,6,4,1,1,7,4,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,1,6,3,0,9,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,3,17,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29398748214329706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25705011370973224,0.37667256893481255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3790025285389017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30710132378844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33253548685928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858809196749466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17960172412431644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37047689040428655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3911761285321671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,annabanana132,2019/10/20,"Off my meds and idk why Title says it all. I haven’t taken my meds in a few days and I’m starting to feel really irritable and grouchy. Does anyone else ever do this? I just will not take them for a week or so until I decide to. I think it’s me subconsciously hoping I feel fine without them. 

My parents don’t believe in anxiety and say I don’t need counseling or meds. Thankfully my sisters support me and I have other family that does. I just am mad at the world rn and need to vent.",1.0966990291262135,3.0192987184466062,3.6638932038834966,87.1397233009709,81.23300970873788,6.838446601941747,21.9504854368932,7.908726449838941,1.0699755339805828,380,12,82,7,10,133,68,103,0.126,0.775,0.099,-0.4131,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,2,0,4,5,1,0,3,0,7,0,0,0,2,21,19,10,0,3,6,2,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,5,6,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,4,16,4,10,17,2,10,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,3,5,56,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297498241741806,0.0,0.0,0.1185940111141796,0.1737836649125374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19109038329266334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938327065671276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2968505928401629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14168590428118766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15342034537662785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15989153520935784,0.0,0.17151802452604722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684592323924408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5651894914405697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515246922817809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883298566934079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865536889272198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2697585284724237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12004957118861585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19246939827423395,0.0,0.0,0.12752427354694895,0.0,0.0,0.15615246152813025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10867809899029597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360494835916261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530450378114208,0.0,0.0,0.16349627173805478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nebulousennui,2019/10/20,"I'm back on meds! Well, about to be, pharmacy is out of stock. But in finally got in to see a pdoc again, he said that yes I do have all the classic symptoms of bipolar disorder, and he's poking around my brain to see how much of the rest is correctly diagnosed. He's starting slow, but that's good. And I have a therapist that's local, so hopefully I start feeling better soon.",4.18346153846154,4.540473500000001,5.622205128205128,82.53946153846154,70.41025641025641,9.82974358974359,30.98461538461539,9.888512548439397,2.8240892307692307,295,12,63,7,5,100,56,78,0.023,0.752,0.225,0.9471,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,8,4,0,0,4,1,6,4,1,1,2,11,15,6,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,4,4,4,12,12,3,13,0,0,2,0,4,6,0,1,7,42,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19905236707910215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719354281875044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977569842101692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496127542173489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22695038908903495,0.0,0.0,0.25626620917928816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305942433675467,0.0,0.0,0.24494405323297866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875459769373439,0.17883420975137387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220863246429073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483703922470256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643725214199879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126958308885739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35636222151910985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31653199010341826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23240713709091296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596180875368381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20104422402436892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lifeofliv,2019/07/27,"Auditory Hallucinations - anyone else? Hey friends!

BP1 and I’m currently euthymic (yay!). I’ve been stable for several months, however..I still experience some infrequent auditory hallucinations. Like music playing when it’s actually not, my phone ringing when it really didn’t, my ears ringing, tapping, and other small noises like that. It happens maybe once or twice a month. I told my psychiatrist and he didn’t seem to think much of it..but I’ve been doing a lot of research and I haven’t found any instances where auditory hallucinations are occurring outside of an episode. I’m not necessarily worried but more curious now. 

What, if any, is anyone else’s experience with this?",4.1967500000000015,7.499101841666674,6.016666666666668,66.17500000000001,80.58333333333334,9.2,32.16666666666667,9.3871,4.1832666666666665,551,29,85,18,15,188,83,120,0.0,0.872,0.128,0.8841,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,1,8,1,1,0,0,15,15,9,0,1,5,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,7,5,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,0,0,1,6,3,5,5,6,9,4,9,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,5,9,48,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.17648297582215694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459676558373683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529082814703445,0.3706032676332425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3021530195637551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3538109297175399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19829208785450908,0.13972383682481798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15992457179547248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767078128924089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15375173556101754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18168758082600747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2887046119383566,0.0,0.13294515490767936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19259876247423408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11585678889268565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16463854748715748,0.0,0.2043084022935479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444266047665299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11588102548718605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17280940006710735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18366139560423614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,busfacingbus,2019/07/27,"Depression to Mania, a poem ""Subdued"" encompasses my attitude, my latitude, and my senses. Everything sounds so muddled, fuzzy, far away. Droning thoughts revolve unsolved problems in impossibly slow loops, as if powered automatically by some still-running abandoned hydroelectric dam... damn. Taste is a historical reference. It's getting harder to relate to or prove it ever exsisted. There was something else I was supposed to list... hmmm, well, guess I missed it. It's hard to pin down a purpose, for anything. Is it even worth it?  Everything is just.... grey. Or was it *gray*? 
But wait! I see a hue or two... coming through a crack in that two week old flawed ideology... Colors flicker and crackle like circuits shorting out as they find their way into the void. Pooling in puddles until the huddles break and life leaks everywhere. The brightness and saturation increase to much, too fast, and require adjustment. So bright, so clear. Tone it down.Take a breath. Ahhh oxygen, It's been quite some time, my friend. Now where's that cigarette? It's ok. I'll just buy a pack... It's just a few miles away... And *then* I'll quit. looky here old self: At my wit's end and I got wit again. Now with this logic I will pick back up those ten projects, find all those missing socks again, reorganize the rocks again. I don't want to want to get off topic but those apricots *aren't* from the tropics. the stickers are misleading, it's all for profit... all that and still bought it! Delicious! And now for that coffee... to tap into the dopamine stream that seems endless. Not at binge, a no-end quest. No vest, I feel bulletproof. There is no roof. Oh the places I'll go... my hat's off to you Dr Seuss.",1.9973333333333336,4.818936177777778,2.8435714285714297,88.03392857142859,87.22222222222223,5.666666666666668,24.642857142857146,7.1686216300943375,1.3283333333333327,1316,54,247,21,42,414,199,315,0.08199999999999999,0.8440000000000001,0.073,-0.4105,1,0,2,0,0,0,92.0,0,1,2,4,22,13,1,0,17,1,12,4,1,1,6,48,28,22,0,4,10,0,2,1,1,1,2,1,0,1,22,14,1,3,9,2,4,3,5,6,1,3,7,10,16,7,34,20,8,44,0,4,6,0,5,20,1,8,20,152,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751121050032134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683282673696301,0.10980343037571502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300848565563326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12299236092512746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11929003868025295,0.0,0.2529546291463757,0.0,0.0,0.09431723281883164,0.1291696518941983,0.0,0.0,0.25667663174797906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220334261151122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.261030955386696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032596611776686,0.0,0.14921291439172985,0.0,0.08115582490725051,0.0,0.1142092115989979,0.0,0.15730893108956348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791963853444172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086298575831523,0.06976426006092099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049735176844261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996865501367429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14919430882817614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366391259067168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30376811292398703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379212182039546,0.12999862603629975,0.1489702477306005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10993346033940753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228078545022406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11336626298819467,0.08326710408253905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.278987273973899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684528143828965,0.11334700727759378,0.11454455009063574,0.0,0.12839323278402606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ShorelineDoThatShit,2019/07/27,"Did I have a manic episode or was it just a panic attack? (long) I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a few months ago but I have been seeing a psychiatrist for years and have been taking medications to help with my anxiety disorder. about 2 years ago when I was 17 and just starting my first year of college I told my mom one night that something felt weird and that I felt extra anxious. a few hours later at 3 in the morning I felt this weird surge of energy that I have only ever felt 1 other time, I have had bad panic attacks and know what that fight of flight rush feels like but this was different. I woke up my mom and told her I had this horrible feeling that i was going to die. she told me to go outside and try walking around the block to get rid of some of the energy I had. As i was walking in the front i had this fear that felt like a rock in my gut that told me to run that whatever was coming for me was close just hiding. I started full speed running to my house where my mom was awake and I just felt like I was going to explode, my heart rate was 185 and i was just sitting down. I got scared about having a heart attack so I started walking around my pool in my backyard until I freaked out and started running around my pool till my feet had bruises. when i went inside and tried to lay down to soothing music with my mom next to me I could swear I saw things out of the corner of my eye or heard someone talking. My mom didn't want to take me to the hospital because that would go on my record and I understand that. This whole thing lasted about 3 hours and the #1 thing that was most scary was I felt like I was being hunted and couldn't really tell what was real if that makes sense. thanks for reading and please tell me what you might think it is.",3.784483695652174,4.478299654891302,4.5480826086956565,88.67300434782612,71.47282608695653,7.409739130434782,25.31782608695652,7.404127859558343,1.004444869565217,1395,39,303,14,25,449,176,368,0.188,0.7290000000000001,0.083,-0.9919,1,0,1,0,1,0,18.0,0,1,0,1,16,17,4,4,14,0,37,8,5,1,1,57,74,25,1,5,10,5,9,4,0,2,3,1,1,0,26,24,0,1,12,4,0,14,2,12,0,2,41,13,53,5,45,28,7,58,0,0,3,0,18,18,0,6,29,213,79,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417724418191207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05358246918978077,0.07912830735250986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18705854270319436,0.0,0.2390510283278316,0.0,0.0,0.05848272379933068,0.042697376145686035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06033557887146676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055923391727966364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109186001632635,0.07269325805006424,0.07317970739577308,0.1605499910620667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335762673707379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881750377080624,0.07083138126123036,0.05003851458418333,0.47076379276507707,0.0,0.0,0.059578279729585876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036594416706045116,0.0,0.15922750852420134,0.0,0.05601954090850806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16600185924955668,0.04694814134725267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13795588911474552,0.08081986475644626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038493632844158084,0.057094144078577866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368772891684632,0.0,0.0,0.061985580069250576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046754042131126335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056064533336062,0.0,0.0743042295720065,0.0,0.4101657833322291,0.05590741009937116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07449119967917776,0.0657303234907291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04746274216919705,0.05327062502676587,0.0,0.16436001971988112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0768858445786691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700616485412845,0.07972392006186517,0.044871143317950536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012495573430352,0.0,0.05581495865469671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0593469473236008,0.05392228781265244,0.0,0.0,0.19830631726560569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053267779246564,0.05629766426192163,0.12244080361413665,0.06448590209653983,0.0,0.0,0.13959976072676628,0.04488053011104017,0.0,0.0,0.040842458136062666,0.0,0.0,0.26771518289817764,0.0,0.09510878299686812,0.0,0.0,0.07291691463555984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04131299566102068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06493027905974283,0.0,0.07820016647498992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049756320189950715,0.0,0.0,0.13531559547575134
bipolarreddit,imjusthereforambianc,2019/07/27,"Finally asked my doctor what we are treating because I was finally ready to hear it out loud We’ve been treating my bipolar since the start of the year...but neither of us actually ever said the name of the illness, it was kind of just a mutual understanding. I’ve been seeking treatment for depression and anxiety for 13 years and he’s the first doctor to actually listen to my concerns and treat me like a person.

It was honestly kind of freeing, the lack of results (or bad results) from therapy and antidepressants over the years weren’t just me being difficult or a hypochondriac. The sometimes drastic changes in my disposition weren’t a personal flaw that someone in a ‘live, love, laugh’ t-shirt could help me through. I feel like a normal person now who just happens to have bipolar that is now mostly managed. 

Thankfully he is keeping it vague on the chart (suspected mood disorder) because I have career aspirations that could be negatively affected by it down the line. 

I will have to say though that the feeling of complacency is completely gone and now I’m trying to untangle the shit web that is my life. But I actually want to untangle that web so it’s progress.",8.061986301369863,8.003632242009136,8.33845890410959,67.78522260273975,62.19634703196347,12.048858447488588,40.624429223744286,11.538034831475384,4.971651141552512,947,49,161,26,12,312,128,219,0.083,0.763,0.154,0.9475,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,2,0,0,2,9,17,1,0,18,0,20,8,1,3,1,29,35,10,0,5,6,0,2,2,0,1,6,5,0,3,14,7,0,1,4,0,1,1,4,4,0,1,9,7,15,13,25,21,3,17,0,1,0,1,16,6,1,3,12,114,29,4,0.0,0.0,0.36237945557320267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946927153014048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11571924570897388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335260764423476,0.15091243627315126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309446998618521,0.0,0.1297828308764072,0.0,0.0,0.1976593423804074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10661305718598033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186463245503864,0.2533917735079416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196769767248096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12517556435144914,0.08842972127400481,0.0,0.2711937574230321,0.0,0.10528871039144086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945981048132536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13951105105901268,0.0,0.08296831127322105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11002292467102026,0.0,0.2577993309612743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743072486547471,0.12094704079939372,0.0,0.10930157076295713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11171788025521917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12127985331475985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32424440143088296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11774480908099882,0.09843623179972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12706020818966288,0.10239355933116123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104879892097115,0.0,0.12242333569536636,0.0,0.08761337396001999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396162327932632,0.14155524176844492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161496062384275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08403969663181521,0.0,0.0,0.1288611880461598,0.1488942285522851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07300969506502894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391342047497346
bipolarreddit,beritscold,2019/07/27,"Oh yeah me too, I’m so bipolar Pretty much every person I’ve ever told that I have BP replies with “oh yeah me too, I’m so bipolar, always changing my mind, and I get so moody sometimes” like... I just smile and nod these days but it’s quite frustrating. I used to say that it’s not just getting moody and changing your mind a lot and try to describe the symptoms, but they’d just again say that they get like that too so I’ve kind of given up on it.",0.9051775486827048,2.6093246494845417,2.3597250859106538,97.34091638029786,80.85567010309279,4.723482245131732,21.087056128293238,5.033348758259628,-0.300687514318442,349,10,82,1,9,113,59,97,0.11,0.784,0.106,-0.516,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,2,1,12,6,1,0,2,2,2,3,0,1,1,16,10,10,0,0,6,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,1,8,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,2,10,3,6,7,2,5,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,1,5,48,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16137415238479294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4103269722834239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250756713155426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17543041615264146,0.16340335748108564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30397794625006674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20195933673075933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18949920504691212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488140046832933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3916495291204251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256868871543876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16934149003275215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19730735825411896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062797479233246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084587692360312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19181225634070648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20157858805669893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18531859684828586,0.0,0.13167296693539668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675024476432378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ffsalwayscryn,2019/07/27,"Zyprexa? Just got put on zyprexa, and I read up on the side effects. It says teenagers are likely to have the side effect of weight gain, and I’m 22 and very small, teenager size. I also have noticed my appetite increase, like I’m always hungry. Does anybody have experience with this drug? Did you experience the weight gain, or other side effects? The weight thing is freaking me out but I’d be curious to know anybody’s experience with it.",2.9177380952380965,5.598507678571429,3.5023809523809533,86.57595238095242,79.35714285714286,5.638095238095239,28.380952380952376,6.937597516519254,1.5470809523809526,351,16,65,4,9,110,58,84,0.022000000000000002,0.845,0.133,0.8121,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,5,2,3,0,0,4,0,7,4,0,3,0,13,11,6,0,0,3,0,3,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,6,3,0,4,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,4,5,2,9,8,1,10,0,0,0,0,2,8,0,1,2,37,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14058316679296487,0.14627549018670882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15383935502612814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20386634354533031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5158836127777369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405992894812449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09661231312623188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17176907638921746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001437282514488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17672249069178692,0.0,0.0,0.17584253360586216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397992088745472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679036071830284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450492535567382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6422127091529725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,amalthead,2019/07/27,"Started getting my life together when I was hypo but now I'm a worthless POS I felt so good! So ready to pursue my dream of working in animal sciences. Started applying to vet schools and then a week later... I hate myself. I start crying anytime I start drafting emails asking for letters of recommendation. My grades from university are definitely nowhere good enough for acceptance (2.5 GPA) and I've been working in an unrelated field since I graduated 5 years ago. It's impossible and I don't want to spend thousands of dollars on a pointless application process.

What the hell was I thinking? I was so confident, my future seemed so clear and wonderful and bright. Now it's the dumbest thing I've ever thought of. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I hate my life but I can't make any real changes.",3.1806756756756767,5.950209162162165,4.441824324324326,79.69219594594598,79.0,7.213513513513512,30.871621621621625,8.278499904357787,2.7230864864864874,628,32,111,13,16,206,98,148,0.23,0.544,0.225,-0.2375,0,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,0,2,8,11,6,0,6,0,7,5,0,1,2,18,26,13,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,6,1,2,0,2,7,0,1,6,2,17,4,13,20,1,17,1,1,1,3,3,3,4,2,14,65,21,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13612147096402946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10442590948506518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14355765603700402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16244587551073816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16867819688905772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15866829167010665,0.0,0.0,0.13890360355567696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744146072347306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42589059919974254,0.08022864195311398,0.0,0.0,0.2575972992013667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30321696287450745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21692761390563425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250233898056096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17478463693302884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15541068554798684,0.0,0.1397950474351316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270262287038697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4347615826956114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201828792676612,0.0983949002348706,0.0,0.12190930469952045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905735310258696,0.0,0.12317638502490755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665290202971446,0.2235866831019917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09888745731625144
bipolarreddit,Wyl_Lark,2019/07/27,"Struggling to describe this symptom to people So I have one symptom I am really struggling to explain. It's almost every day and starts about an hour after I wake up, then comes and goes depending on my rest level.

My whole body gets a tense feeling and almost hurts. I feel it the most in my jaw and arms and legs.  I used to think it was anxiety - it's almost an electric, buzzy feeling at times, but usually it more resembled the ache after a good workout or growing pains. However it comes hand in hand with anxiety.

The only thing that helps is drugs, whether legal or prescribed, but they make me so sleepy it's almost not worth it.  What is this, does anyone know?",4.163615384615387,5.759262746153842,4.729230769230772,84.31076923076925,71.53846153846153,7.353846153846155,27.615384615384606,7.908726449838941,1.745907692307692,527,19,99,7,10,168,88,130,0.138,0.7090000000000001,0.153,0.6277,1,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,2,7,0,5,11,7,3,0,28,17,13,0,0,6,0,5,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,13,8,0,0,6,1,1,3,1,4,0,1,1,5,10,1,13,16,4,17,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,8,8,67,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5689964479669352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173457395591637,0.0,0.0,0.09932924077914973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15779279957932946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24473827372722556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161472089691773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431464175398148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647404947792942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968876786183325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21548417575288756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421868274249395,0.0,0.0,0.1191502919613328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952175091624266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13989708387638522,0.0,0.15207447185742445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807056323962851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09482384834094212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962611928327994,0.10804040545624484,0.1511581819485347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984841232387891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100506169996724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054835526683656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970166938262549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953022900355898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437605774249518,0.09102409945165174,0.0,0.0,0.08283431505886753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12269124625900657,0.1564552171393099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15860106181331007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,arteriales,2019/07/27,"Bipolar and chronic pain How does your chronic pain affect your bipolar?

I'm BP2 and I also have chronic back pain because of a herniated disc and muscle contractures.

At first it used to worsen my depressive episodes but now physical pain annoys me so much the anger keeps them at bay or pushes me to hypomania, so I was wondering about other people's experiences.",6.148656716417907,8.055604164179107,6.8957014925373175,69.49071641791046,67.05970149253731,9.53910447761194,34.295522388059695,9.888512548439397,3.8521964179104486,297,14,46,7,5,98,52,67,0.308,0.6920000000000001,0.0,-0.9719,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,1,1,8,7,2,0,2,0,2,9,0,3,0,10,6,9,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,9,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,7,0,1,1,0,8,0,6,5,1,6,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,2,3,33,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15494037899626253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14898041937531664,0.0,0.1181071146710548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16687505524998927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16955037019042093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18952293342359494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16480213425567433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722123173075678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14242723232248727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8246470518703555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13432061837141507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167336252020148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21011167640194894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,goodluckcat87,2019/07/27,"I need inpatient but the only hospital that accept me suck ass I can either go to the local ward and get no help whatsoever or I can go to the city and have the doctor at that psych ward push a BPD diagnosis and ignore my outpatient team. I DO NOT have BPD as confirmed by outpatient and various other doctors but he’s obsessed with pushing and he refuses to communicate with my outpatient.

I tried calling one of the good hospitals I went to before but I don’t think their inpatient takes my insurance. They said have my therapist call Monday. I’m gonna have her fill out a referral for residential but the woman said it’s a 4 week waiting list.

I really don’t know what to do because I don’t know any other hospitals and going to the ER is a No from me.",3.429069264069266,4.916746603896108,5.7357792207792215,76.79747835497837,73.22077922077922,9.808658008658007,28.417748917748927,10.125756701596842,3.069369696969697,603,24,117,18,12,213,94,154,0.126,0.804,0.07,-0.8271,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,2,1,2,5,1,1,11,0,12,3,1,0,0,24,28,12,0,1,7,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,6,9,0,3,4,1,0,7,6,3,1,1,3,2,18,2,15,24,2,12,0,0,0,1,13,3,2,1,2,79,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12076261503252295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082530251343396,0.0,0.15111016032000807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4473194603493011,0.0,0.36266445256178254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3635277079052792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927798536832631,0.0,0.3027737481491033,0.14894830042788046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903022583714812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951900833237363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13167563752803965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033492183350213,0.13505996926528022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376429757254365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3378444372553293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335204100023935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061876961075398,0.0,0.11378809642952245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205672854594914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14244647175410188,0.0,0.0,0.1646213366144794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gyerebattya,2019/07/27,"Why do I ditch certain people all of a sudden? Ok this might be a little hard to comprehend because Im very delirious at the time but ill try my best to explain

This happened about a year ago for the 1st time. There was a girl whom I have been good friends with for almost 2 years. we frequently met irl, as well as talked virtually almost every day. 

one day when i felt really depressed, i saw that she messaged me. i didnt want to reply to her just then, so i thought i'll wait a bit and answer. 
then i kind of 'forgot' about her. apparently I even muted her on all platforms, which i cant remember. a bit became days, days became weeks, months, etc. when i became hypomanic, i realized that i had been literally ghosting my friend for months, but then i just didnt have the courage to hit her up and tell her whats going on. i feel awfully guilty about this and dont know how to fix it. the same fucking scenario happened 3 times since and im worried im going to lose all the few friends that i still have. 

has anyone experiebced something like this before? i did a bit of reasearch but i dont think this is avpd. my therapist told me its because my father abandoned us when i was little but thats fucking bullshit lol",3.2627520608750804,4.587223265060242,4.353984358486578,87.18857958148384,73.37751004016064,7.0091735362502625,26.759881631790318,7.475848149327749,1.3155172690763046,959,34,200,11,19,313,146,249,0.132,0.731,0.13699999999999998,0.3028,1,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,2,0,0,2,14,16,2,0,12,3,19,3,0,1,4,34,38,18,1,1,6,1,3,1,3,1,1,0,0,1,14,6,0,3,9,0,0,2,5,5,1,1,14,4,32,11,23,21,10,31,0,3,1,2,20,7,2,3,23,130,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252740213828664,0.0,0.20904486003045228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298557771248186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12725930000811028,0.0,0.08882048886196635,0.0,0.10954135296570457,0.0,0.3418708443883578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692682750488879,0.0,0.08990314757529545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446673601575264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641233594672905,0.06894262405586986,0.0,0.08794544083462599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05277813774291189,0.0,0.10022206806611887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419333576166741,0.1929969874700308,0.0,0.0,0.11864418323790007,0.08754977713706835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846074346803467,0.0,0.0935048165141029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3382479695301329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869668269522084,0.05736503285122475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05099525304304399,0.20923424026872453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11677556822841655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11073167834378576,0.0,0.0,0.16663173517352473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07073122390833021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07236459851809424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686910068808667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11824325310011433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634498923758176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035754443622085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335875064789837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389744280325774,0.09123353919453804,0.0,0.0,0.12119431232692153,0.0,0.06688308933125096,0.0,0.08286680404234104,0.18259609028215515,0.0,0.0,0.09974045788235017,0.0,0.0708678040748154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12555741441026916,0.0,0.0,0.08612520419065185,0.06156658070885675,0.0,0.08372809102358139,0.0,0.09385099747518806,0.0,0.09418755969001573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060039076911576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13443580156360954
bipolarreddit,dontmakemespeak,2019/07/27,"why can't I eat? zero appetite

when I taste food it feels so distant, like I am not even really tasting it

I feel sick thinking of any food. I have to eat enough or I can't fall asleep at all, although nothing seems to be helping me sleep anyway.

does anyone else struggle with no appetite? why is this?",0.4493548387096773,2.857687080645164,1.8970161290322598,95.26552419354843,89.48387096774192,3.745161290322581,22.266129032258068,5.148860815047168,0.031283870967741656,237,9,49,1,8,76,49,62,0.134,0.7859999999999999,0.08,-0.5206,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,6,9,2,0,1,8,10,4,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,6,0,4,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,0,4,7,1,5,9,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,2,32,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370027156137386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086860829194012,0.20642410852039214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763028735227225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41229679914254735,0.16829767340831214,0.0,0.0,0.20816660297994613,0.0,0.13306535081497226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037329303981883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4872231580593744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13503735552111115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09842534033186667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933105466381671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12906326766052895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18340564350750105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016099174085728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21061435671196915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290902669767803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3635806105204664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,babykaat,2019/07/27,tips on dating with bipolar disorder? i’ve recently met a new guy who is incredibly sweet. i have always struggled with not being able to commit to relationships due to my episodes. i often start dating when im manic and then lose complete interest afterwards. other times i might not even be manic but wake up one day and feel like i don’t even know the person i’m dating. i guess i’m just wondering how yall deal with dating and if you have any advice! i really don’t wanna mess this up.,3.359621212121212,5.030746515151517,5.207967171717172,79.76528409090913,73.74747474747474,8.182323232323233,23.48611111111111,8.841846274778883,1.7546050505050497,391,11,74,8,8,134,73,99,0.098,0.8079999999999999,0.094,-0.0877,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,1,6,6,0,1,2,0,8,2,1,1,1,20,16,8,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,1,2,9,3,10,12,0,16,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,5,14,47,12,0,0.2058769937845008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20118061559542985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17130615129081433,0.0,0.0,0.14000341559639648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21585811100932775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327736292122554,0.2122501405633593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359528712233076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27195962544498176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409759396896567,0.1470785654958158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22679671943113994,0.2038505917815096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22238248195676855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314461163543335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058109991446952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303236947493381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184029559338058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19883728349782048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13950757912685546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17976384992678812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13189007400006605,0.0,0.2032786941766013,0.2210348440104752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457207958437413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152273345912903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12004853069466967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22326481763471068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pringlemiester,2019/07/27,"Bad mixed episode last night I’ve been getting a lot of mixed episodes with rapid cycling lately but last night was an especially bad one. I was feeling extremely depressed with thoughts of wanting to hurt myself, but seconds later I was having a full blown hysterical laughing fit. My boyfriend was with me and he recounted that I kept trying to punch myself in the face and then laugh so hard for about 10 minutes straight. I didn’t do anything too harmful to myself but I kept saying things like “ow you’re hurting me” when he wasn’t even touching me at all. And I was completely out of it. I was hallucinating that there were “bad people” outside who were going to hurt me. And then I would proceed to try and punch myself again. After a good night sleep it appears that the episode is over. This kind of episode felt almost like psychosis. I have only experienced psychosis once before and it ended up in a hospitalization. I feel fine now. But needless to say, last night was pretty scary. Any similar experiences of having a bad episode only last a very short time like this?",5.8897044334975375,7.213231443349758,5.64332512315271,80.4288300492611,67.07881773399015,7.7704433497536955,32.23399014778325,7.957251820313856,2.2897940886699515,865,36,156,10,14,268,124,203,0.179,0.6679999999999999,0.152,-0.861,0,0,0,0,0,2,15.0,0,0,0,0,8,17,0,0,9,0,18,2,2,0,1,26,28,14,0,2,4,0,5,3,0,1,0,2,0,0,10,10,0,2,4,0,0,2,2,9,0,2,16,8,19,8,23,11,3,31,0,4,0,0,5,10,0,3,22,103,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11479380500431202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779580477952178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09433764103493104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3828731251732344,0.0,0.0,0.09754884073516988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019618852415866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873789186233957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015356020116465,0.0,0.0,0.07571758656206355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213835931187503,0.0,0.0,0.11592924603203295,0.0,0.11007084830533488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05989383606776993,0.0,0.06515164847164072,0.09615325670652276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269349528441196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3681683567110641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937825972963975,0.0,0.3737824087582289,0.12931711625542286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16801960497232926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974614740190772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4303215161437323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208616193174344,0.07768195136552407,0.17437534846968591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947583700734212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662847304569245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18233012479554053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472119736399825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616066362647833,0.0,0.0,0.0910100898264736,0.06684657694795278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556639064144044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09458869157919524,0.06761670255508984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143583510924192,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,-probablycrazy-,2019/07/27,Ode to Lithium Thanks for making my mouth dry ya filthy bastard,4.98,7.212943666666668,3.84,88.905,70.66666666666666,4.800000000000002,28.66666666666667,3.1291,0.8405666666666662,52,2,9,0,1,15,12,12,0.213,0.61,0.177,-0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5869820803696837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8095999242371992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Faststudy101,2019/07/27,"The unknown of normal It’s been 3 months since my business closed down, and I haven’t opened my Instagram probably for 2.   I’m sorta waiting on the medication I just started to take full effect, and I’m also wanting to have my shit together before I start talking to people.

Last summer I was in the same position, depressed, almost lifeless.   I had a “breakthrough” talking to mentor friend, and that catapulted me into a hypomania that had me on fire.   I created a new automotive shop, was fully re-admitted to a private university, and got a car I had built to be featured on a popular Netflix show.   

I had wrestled with the diagnosis for over a decade.   The hypomania seemed to be my ideal or normal state, where I was set free of some psychological barrier that I had uncovered, but when depression came back, bipolar was the convenient cause.   Part of me didn’t really believe it, that I had to “be responsible”.    It was always this chicken vs the egg debate internally.    If my depression was caused by resignation, fear of failure, not wanting to be responsible, etc etc, or if the onset of physiological depression gave rise to a cascade of experiences where those thoughts and feelings regained their hold.

This last hypomania I was sure was the final breakthrough.   I finally figured out what was stopping me in life. and now I was was just unstoppable.   Lasted maybe 6 months before the depression crept back.   I actually resist and hide the depression, as those changes in my personality are so counter to the person I become hypomanic.   It’s like I’m a tony Robbins figure in my life, sharing with people the ins and outs of my recent self discovery, and holding others to account to get up and make things happen.   But I can see the pressured nature of this, that part of me needs to reaffirm this state of being.   

Well after this last full collapse from grace, I’m just all in on treatment.   It’s almost absurd I’ve tried to self cure  given my family history and the reality of just how disabled I’ve been in life.   

I don’t really know myself outside of the extremes as I’ve mainly seen my true self as that super powerful guy that can make anything happen.   That same guy is terrified of getting a regular job and failing, or being stuck/trapped.   But I’m starting to gain confidence back, and hope that I can be stable enough to simply work my ass off to start to build a well structured life.",7.240472845639888,7.498185153674832,8.043440979955456,68.15350137056707,63.83296213808464,10.916600993661127,36.6456227514134,10.64471489884176,4.112482199760152,1910,87,323,45,26,643,235,449,0.145,0.728,0.127,-0.9118,2,1,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,1,7,16,24,1,2,27,0,35,9,2,6,3,68,66,28,0,9,14,0,2,1,1,0,6,0,0,7,24,21,1,5,7,3,3,3,4,11,2,0,26,4,37,14,60,33,12,52,0,8,2,1,13,24,2,11,23,233,61,4,0.0,0.0,0.07881516992438464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16174933230002045,0.0,0.0,0.06458788916845899,0.06720310378378773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06646286551606999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863103255049273,0.0,0.0,0.08919880130106975,0.13745044739097265,0.09099470604646834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237385541136657,0.0,0.16593618533061796,0.08543885652114158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4173776123418454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08345202587529385,0.18014906090612434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900384843604688,0.07613822838698894,0.09088328704738606,0.0408373041973427,0.0,0.0,0.1769486245288339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06239898149117935,0.0,0.0843929512789019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06459529638816731,0.0,0.0,0.1599404618299181,0.14284077251560212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021805215015433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014698372041103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04438643341770122,0.2633376210496107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281873543626157,0.03945778972504453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782277611797728,0.0,0.08113948379010925,0.0,0.0,0.08136242683767778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12893200005197536,0.0,0.0,0.05988636121618944,0.0,0.0780035188363196,0.0,0.0,0.15826546621889825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17492164942932226,0.0,0.11198481982054663,0.14104208835670656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707852946924965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348049108909203,0.0,0.07974587648397832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06435939564520539,0.07352559098606883,0.2527671061848381,0.0,0.08290430165188846,0.06680979553669385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286640542152721,0.0,0.0,0.0675233109848252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761202309322038,0.0,0.060725367678089524,0.12983199255058706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05365680007142627,0.0,0.0,0.06411853523560801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054834258967191206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527479719139932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14523520143084315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05879801650096759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,trinidadtrav13,2019/07/27,"Parenting Those of you who are parents, how does this disorder affect your role in the home? It’s so challenging not to be hard on my son. I just try to keep him away from the roller coaster that is my emotions. Should I talk to him about my condition? Or is 10 too young to have that conversation?",2.939000000000004,4.665008233333335,3.84,88.905,75.0,8.133333333333335,25.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,1.6937333333333338,234,8,51,5,5,75,50,60,0.051,0.884,0.065,-0.3078,2,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,1,5,1,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,2,0,7,7,3,0,1,3,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,9,1,10,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,11,3,0,1,1,39,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26194492169657924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31953278949632546,0.0,0.2439826873586088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136162389257971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497530359199982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796624887907709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478132246232493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6191562443085349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240915690463676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892891711519399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,makaria6,2019/07/27,"""Quit"" my job today I was just recently diagnosed and started a mood stabilizer after years of antidepressants not helping at all.
I put my two weeks in a few days ago. And today I just didn't go in. I know that it wasnt the right thing to do. I just dont care?
I can see the consequences of my actions but I cant make myself be worried or care about the fall out.
I know that if I keep quitting jobs out of nowhere I'm going to run out of jobs. But all i can tell myself about it is, ""It'll work out"" and ""It's fine""

Has anyone else here been through similar that would share their thoughts? Any advice for trying to hold a job?",1.2710199004975102,2.9188980671641787,3.0306716417910486,93.22322139303483,79.52238805970148,6.257711442786071,21.61442786069652,7.1686216300943375,0.4316189054726367,487,14,114,6,12,162,86,134,0.08199999999999999,0.878,0.040999999999999995,-0.6174,4,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,3,6,5,0,0,6,0,14,1,0,1,2,24,26,7,0,2,8,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,8,7,0,2,3,0,0,6,5,0,0,1,5,1,16,4,19,18,3,23,0,0,1,0,4,8,0,2,9,78,24,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13860731532089765,0.12573524063663166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645808824144604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991799074069672,0.14533489198096686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892367364164326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09147698567307246,0.0,0.0,0.14396763570246088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16623891244324987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118491606240987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16122526500050965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09507435744171973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5630290710592586,0.1260765550899212,0.0,0.0,0.15590638109340066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468128845701468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14259136899853292,0.0,0.30173493129326245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14005282754685314,0.0,0.0,0.1211331271885717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130304880544962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003971890559442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239770137241338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09423417107503022,0.0,0.0,0.11260747958188908,0.0,0.0,0.26890111352536755,0.0,0.0,0.09630207044416192,0.0,0.13855997776381768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377788016961553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10326337646764083,0.14404842818402075,0.0,0.10076118106006456,0.0,0.0,0.09134222656827697
bipolarreddit,-phantome-,2019/07/27,"Adding an antipsychotic to lamotrigine and lithium Hi there, I am looking for first hand experiences anyone has adding an atypical antipsychotic to lamotrigine and lithium.  My family member who is affected is newly medicated and not yet educated on the pharmacology of the disorder.  I’d like to reassure her but I don’t know very much first hand either.  If it helps she already tried ability as monotherapy when she was misdiagnosed with depression and had very negative reactions to it.  She also was on olanzapine for about a week recently when she started treatment, which worked, but she discontinued because of weight gain fears.
Thanks",9.267341269841275,10.972997083333334,9.656772486772493,53.308333333333366,59.648148148148145,14.319576719576721,41.35449735449736,13.25671669890799,6.768360846560848,527,28,74,22,7,176,79,108,0.132,0.682,0.187,0.74,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,4,6,5,0,1,5,0,8,4,2,1,0,12,12,11,0,1,5,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,3,4,9,3,13,9,2,10,0,1,1,0,10,2,0,1,9,57,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342448514524381,0.1697519727466929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14842388382958452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293976163006226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828275496317352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432794238881666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076404616912124,0.2001089466853372,0.2388623852648169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3611129336845223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14227988060322494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166578554098966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037042351481806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17825305537260036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21383935349135053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15604262630709687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20959068373115566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15024555996116512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19542938628866185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14411716737647065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3502894051739875,0.0,0.0,0.17026991968622365,0.2584872636571608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154534842725686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dowdyash,2019/07/27,"Abilify? B1 & ADHD - I’ve started the process to switch to abilify pills and the the shot eventually but we’re keeping the lithium in addition, before the shot. I was on 1200mg lithium, 60mg latuda, and 50mg pristique. I’m curious of other people’s experience on abilify. Please share.",1.3219191919191928,3.94610890909091,4.171515151515152,76.03949494949497,96.27272727272728,7.535353535353535,29.74747474747475,8.167268648758528,3.4158686868686874,230,13,38,7,9,81,40,55,0.0,0.835,0.165,0.8271,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,6,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,17,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4455457634115533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4016861131042809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31546417025481605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3626453600827149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3295221147780453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570177030078114,0.0,0.0,0.40695052896609335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624048066025456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Teefdreams,2019/07/27,"Munchausens I feel like I've had a bit of a revelation. I think I might actually have Munchausen's and never even realised it.  

I've read that people with cluster B traits are more inclined to have Munchausen's and I have that on my discharge papers due to a suicide attempt.  

Treatment hasn't really worked for me and I feel like it all makes sense now. Why would treatment work if you don't actually have the disorder.  

Has anyone else considered that they might not really be sick?",3.437634408602153,5.930126311827962,4.300215053763441,82.63698924731183,76.20430107526882,7.1440860215053785,27.53763440860215,8.167268648758528,2.0441311827956987,389,16,71,7,9,125,65,93,0.08199999999999999,0.8290000000000001,0.09,-0.0752,0,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,1,1,3,2,2,0,0,4,0,13,1,0,1,2,15,17,4,1,2,2,0,2,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,9,2,6,12,3,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,3,5,47,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.3775916819348195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527659386232266,0.19822975913720886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21121580828785247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217298925971076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16161681647658244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12778309970976268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956454118204946,0.2764256638340282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18903636447151045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291406953265742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4104757336583746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14921364321237424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13412562742608986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19351931075760395,0.0,0.2478797718463235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21162144874423824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396581345650914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17457383579619895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816924960807913,0.0,0.0,0.13743337459894406,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Wattsherfayce,2019/07/27,"Mania Triggered by Medication Guys I was doing pretty decent mood stability wise for the last year and a half and I was really proud of myself. It got to a point where I thought I could finally address my ADHD symptoms with medications.

I expressed my fears of triggering manias and toldmy psychiatrist I'm looking for a med I can take PRN rather than every day as I tend to be sensitive to meds.. I would like to start low and slow. For some reason my doc picked Straterra with his reasoning being that it will be low dose (18mg x daily to start and then double that after 2 weeks).

Well I had to stop taking it because when I upped the dose I started getting severe agitation, fever, heartburn, irregular heart beats, and insomnia. I stopped taking it Tuesday.

I have maybe slept a total of two hours since. I am now also suicidal and more paranoid than ever (I do have real reasons to be paranoid but its to the point I cant go out at all anymore).

I'm like laughing and crying at the same time. Then I have moments where I am totes fine. Others where I am in a trance and dont move.

I'm not having increased speech because of my dysphonia but my voice is much louder. I wrote a whole song in minutes- the first one in years since losing my voice to said dysphonia.

I dunno if I'm manic? Just sleep deprived? Or maybe just good old fashioned dysphoric mania... haven't had that since 2015 when I first got diagnosed. In fact, this is the worst I have been since getting diagnosed.

Should I call the Crisis Outreach and Support Team? I kinda want to but I'm scared.

I just quit therapy and therfore lost access to my psychiatrist. I did it this Tuesday..  I feel like I'm wasting everyones time. My therapist didn't disagree and basically let me go so maybe I'm not as bad as I think? Maybe i'm exaggerating? I dunno whats going on anymore. If I didnt have electronic on me I wouldnt know what day or time month it would be. I was convinced it was still the first week of July until the last couple days. I can barely rmember anything.",2.9487854976564662,5.002616538461542,4.411565343258894,83.3723907499311,75.92307692307692,6.95916735594155,25.83464295561069,7.8897218956490685,1.6048748828232695,1607,59,307,25,36,534,220,403,0.13699999999999998,0.7559999999999999,0.107,-0.9035,0,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,0,9,15,21,0,2,15,0,40,13,3,6,4,57,73,29,1,9,13,0,1,3,0,5,10,5,1,1,16,15,0,2,7,2,0,5,8,9,1,6,17,7,46,11,39,44,10,59,0,5,1,0,7,17,0,8,40,209,62,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865636640869467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656474357767453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16282267278086784,0.0,0.0,0.06755317059711807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685418176088967,0.10008274505810767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382318623968239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554227756288296,0.09083115151828887,0.0901721373176775,0.15882400022377613,0.0,0.0,0.16663947867530834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620900409292432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425520929643788,0.06916446289987313,0.07844062333819223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237420244624374,0.04150722897288376,0.058645194977879324,0.0,0.0899257090926323,0.0,0.20947743114816267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577739449948169,0.0,0.13996111336699266,0.0688532942153928,0.13130992901972294,0.0,0.0,0.08128212062091954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727718221933324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808422280588467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045114580684737435,0.13382880125069485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394270496340926,0.0,0.12031525183201695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893502216933371,0.09183784150372856,0.08961105834553933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3298822190752546,0.0,0.18236722505106226,0.1653943102718688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655235470763204,0.08724880150142941,0.06034568036635307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613976726498705,0.0,0.05562638683077935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15520338620030755,0.0,0.0,0.08351515948146063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731294259904931,0.0,0.09343652335169043,0.05258903008270672,0.2532069327392708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808649837074888,0.0,0.08218652643924214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09273846459111952,0.0,0.2716231676383325,0.0,0.08214940008693096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17431141898438782,0.0,0.06555727234806645,0.13726202476591245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979326268749575,0.09315489035647764,0.0,0.08532306183898453,0.1851646520419212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387720139848113,0.09531295129185018,0.0,0.05260003141469135,0.0,0.06517038222134834,0.14360221965036346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08019011476837852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04841887705488896,0.0,0.13169547824922953,0.0,0.0738088725394509,0.0,0.0,0.09165068244607756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662892566534315,0.0,0.0,0.10572668601599736
bipolarreddit,Clusterone666,2019/07/27,"Lamictal and anxiety, and how it saved my life, but still need some advice. So, last december, I ran into some insurance problems and had to cold turkey all my meds. (Lamictal, Depakote, Levothyroxine, Lithium, anxiety as needed) All at once. I felt like shit the first 2 weeks, then the next 2 weeks were fine. Then out of nowhere I got what I thought. (And still think I had) an ulcer. I mean I couldn't eat anything, everything made me sick, and I went from 134lbs to 90lbs in a matter of months. Now, the reason that it was even worse for me then a normal person with an ulcer, is I have that stupid paranoia of vomitting. I can see people vomit, I can hear it, etc. But when it comes to me throwing up, I will have a panic attack, shake, feel worse, and my anxiety just CLINGS to it. Or well it did when I got the ulcer. Before I cold turkey'd the meds, if I got nausea, it sucked, I would get some anxiety, but I was able to deal with it and move on with my day. It wasn't a big deal.

​

This in turn made it impossible to eat, and when I did eat, I would be couch/bed locked for hours because of the stomach aches, stuff in my throat, and nausea, panic attacks, and overall massive anxiety. Now, to give a little backround on me, I have severe PTSD, ADHD, severe anxiety, minor OCD, Bipolar, depression, and paranoia, and thyroid issues. All of this (minus the thyroid issues) is due to the PTSD. The meds I was taking helped all that to the point I could have a normal life it was nice. My guess is when I cold turkey'd my emotions snapped and my anxiety clung onto a fear, HARD. A couple months in, I got back on Lithium, and Levothyroxine.  I mean, it was so bad I was scared to even burp, and if it felt like I had something in my throat, it was panic time.

​

Then the starvation aspect kicked in, and I would pass out just from standing, or walking, pass out while sitting, the anxiety was AWFUL, I couldn't leave the house or do anything (Thankfully I work from home so I was able to still do that), and eating was just as hard. My stomach hurt CONSTANTLY and it scared me so much I couldn't eat. (Granted, all it was, was my stomach screaming it needed food). This went on for about a month, and my therapist prescribed me with xanax again to help with the panic attacks. At first, I was overusing the hell out of them because I was having panic attacks multiple times a day. Then I would use them to get better. I would take a xanax, and eat food, and if the food didn't hurt my stomach on xanax, I could eat it without. (Weird I know but it worked and got me eating again.). But still, time passed and I wasn't a WHOLE lot better, but I did get back up to 100lbs. (I've always fluctuated between 105-115lbs due to the thyroid issues, but the levothyroxine helped me get up to 134lbs). 

​

Granted, it still wasn't enough, I still was too scared to try new foods all the time, and still wasn't eating a lot, but I was able to go out and eat, eat things I wouldn't have months ago, and overall just was doing a little better. Then, my therapist had me get back on lamictal. 25mg at first (Since i'm super skinny). The first week, it made me irritable, snapping at people, anxiety, nausea, and overall it just sucked. The second week I started to see a MASSIVE improvement, I was taking less Xanax, trying new foods and had less (But not completely gone) anxiety. Then when it hit week 2 I upped it to 50mg. I was going out to eat without taking xanax, I was having only 1-2 panic attacks a week, and was again doing better. But the first week sucked, I was feeling sick again, irritable, and overall just shitty, week 2 was the turn around point however. 

​

I should mention, the anxiety up until 50mg of lamictal was so bad, driving to the store I would have panic attacks, get nauseous, and need a couple xanax. On 50mg of lamictal, I was forced to go help someone, spent 3 hours in the car, and faced a seperate fear of mine and was doing 100% ok with ZERO ANXIETY and NO XANAX. It was amazing, then came home, had people over, and just ate whatever the hell I wanted, I figured if I went that far, I could go all the way. I was confident, through the entire week 3 I was trying new foods without xanax, doing a lot better, and the anxiety was close to not being there. Also the panic attacks were non existant starting at week 3. At week 4 I upped my dose again to 100mg (This was on the 18th of this month.)

​

Since then, I have literally had 0 anxiety, been eating w/e the hell I want, and am doing things, leaving the house, and am actually able to concentrate and work my full hours. However, even tonight, i'm getting nausea after taking the lamictal, and stomach pains. But, 0 anxiety, all my anxiety has turned into annoyance. But another problem does persist, even though i'm eating whatever. I'm eating less, I forgot what feeling full feels like, and it makes it hard to eat more due to my stomach starting to hurt after not eating a whole lot. I know with the lamictal the side effects should go away eventually. (Hopefully sooner than later). 

​

But is the not eating as much, and stomach aches caused by me not eating for so long? Or is the upped dose of the lamictal causing that problem? No anxiety from the stomach aches, but i'm not going to push myself eating and just be in pain for hours. (Tried that, it sucked lol). If so, does anyone have experience and advice on the lamictal? Or any experience or advice with an eating disorder so bad it almost killed you or did irreversible damage? How would I go about being able to eat like I used too? How long did it take you to feel better after upping the dose of lamictal? What steps did you take, or what advice do you have for me?

​

Also, sorry for such a long post, I just figured it would help explain my issue better if the backround was there. (Also one of the side effects of the lamictal I have is I have been EXTREMELY motivated lately, doing things I wouldn't have done before it's awesome, but it also makes me overexplain things or have too much energy so I apologize for that.) 

​

Last thing. 1. The ""Ulcer"" disappeared out of nowhere, and I honestly think it was the anxiety grabbing ahold of something. 2. For anyone who's nervous about lamical, in my experience, it's helping a LOT, just the side effects kind of suck in the beggining. (Seems like the higher the dose, the longer I have side effects). So my advice is just stick through it, give your final dose at least a month before deciding if you stay on it or not. It worked for me in the past, and I am only assuming it will work for me this time around too.",4.390144871837716,5.5133532398155305,5.153548357450791,83.30140698626475,70.4066102997694,8.054677004311065,27.5924957390636,8.389252357687651,1.8505406142432248,5179,175,1012,78,92,1679,390,1301,0.22399999999999998,0.6990000000000001,0.077,-0.9997,2,0,2,0,0,0,262.0,0,6,2,24,69,72,19,15,80,3,118,72,13,18,8,210,208,115,1,37,53,0,11,5,0,14,30,2,2,1,64,68,30,1,26,0,2,26,22,49,1,8,76,18,119,23,140,107,30,185,3,5,2,0,24,63,9,30,96,719,183,6,0.11282629235538373,0.0,0.02202043719010332,0.0,0.027119055587935603,0.1102525470872446,0.020002740124822563,0.0,0.022595846813950517,0.0,0.0,0.07218171618686695,0.018776102713102743,0.19559558500597,0.21935407146382824,0.015345149556016596,0.023661641008054755,0.3107224973978138,0.0,0.0,0.031556306782739,0.0,0.03713857007413741,0.04017572830374281,0.0,0.17969867396132816,0.021200803136462533,0.052053872681934565,0.0565231448156192,0.027511144241622997,0.0,0.05760411884720324,0.0,0.0,0.13969996159971826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025808644237463596,0.0,0.04636147267263213,0.0,0.019437972108298417,0.023659244184915613,0.024385027952297567,0.0,0.05404956821208487,0.04993605860034165,0.0,0.029105449873175725,0.04652758129301133,0.01943542405594126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025861741170165944,0.0,0.03949401950526533,0.02309209390631468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5079776424550205,0.0,0.02538287857920496,0.0,0.023315944074431726,0.025166228051943015,0.05961656160850003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020280199297538114,0.06621945815500296,0.0,0.05078437859049559,0.057048363465654776,0.016120625160489063,0.0433323736746161,0.02471913767394434,0.0,0.09596998664015123,0.16371600068107126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08252591343108195,0.04329330418817586,0.08977049483988912,0.0,0.09023749287455793,0.0,0.024858176235625744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060642117964864725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02543268628993544,0.0,0.09075010258757107,0.0,0.04526958821041135,0.02241239320526273,0.08888893667534123,0.052074557212052563,0.07246972769719241,0.0,0.0,0.0942090688224005,0.0,0.0,0.02496511517705866,0.023498244262097703,0.0248025518464255,0.03678739479771196,0.02545459442885097,0.04778670110951794,0.0,0.0,0.03187701878419225,0.05512122736868102,0.04523263418824742,0.0,0.059908630978889314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592087905415124,0.0,0.06405537951137133,0.030124970503094792,0.0,0.0,0.04916036341440598,0.07519474556395365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806824415894027,0.023983298635753287,0.04976418410447444,0.0669274129318061,0.0,0.06538100173317471,0.023998408381266028,0.0,0.044218324487268784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02403126382132911,0.01529080313348096,0.034323791793487976,0.0480220519644837,0.21180375087411574,0.0,0.0,0.021541092522860048,0.04693172697849711,0.01970311331435037,0.0,0.0,0.04266292598255512,0.0,0.02161128000172389,0.0,0.0,0.06477571455629258,0.05275515921063425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02320084394675816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777528081214794,0.0,0.03596317893517045,0.020542563820230158,0.0,0.0509846382537097,0.02316291354908276,0.037332429980443234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.019119470275511818,0.034743676819636936,0.0,0.02525995941344901,0.04791541826572824,0.024051563126992397,0.12614451194614185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025831822258593738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876386262428255,0.0,0.0,0.02077505826207931,0.0,0.05240000860412963,0.07495677525838937,0.028917812966127207,0.022170251877757827,0.017914294662204355,0.06578991839743266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128131711757246,0.07363356431833007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038978276448464494,0.0,0.0,0.026619148183856703,0.017911251848014818,0.19910538153098092,0.0,0.02028887734409624,0.06275466202301634,0.0,0.050386610462239016,0.0,0.06525631176897484,0.0,0.08213888458937586,0.0,0.045991852371982535,0.1282376975116693,0.0,0.21935407146382824,0.0
bipolarreddit,cnt002,2019/07/27,"Switching meds...again. TLDR: feedback about switching from Fluoxetine to Zoloft or just taking Zoloft 

For reference, I’m diagnosed unspecified BP-suspected BP2 

I’m being switched from Fluoxetine 40 mg/day to Zoloft 25 mg/day. This is the fourth time my meds have changed this year. Currently I take Lumotragine 100 mg/day, adderall 40 mg total/day, Fluoxetine 40 mg/day, and clonazepam as needed for anxiety. I’ve been on Fluoxetine for about 3 months now, and tbh, I’m nervous about switching meds to Zoloft. 

I’m freaking out because I am worried about side effects and would like feedback from anyone who has taken it. Maybe I’m freaking out about nothing, but I so desperately just want things to be stable for a while without constantly being a medical science experiment. 

Thanks, y’all!",5.6816666666666675,8.158191978873239,5.97711267605634,73.28613849765263,69.35211267605635,8.958685446009389,35.07276995305164,9.516144504307137,3.812829107981221,639,33,102,15,12,204,89,142,0.09699999999999999,0.8270000000000001,0.076,-0.2254,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,1,9,5,0,1,3,0,9,6,0,1,0,15,20,8,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,5,2,21,14,0,11,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,8,53,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410407797094406,0.0,0.0,0.1225738887475713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10686129897290826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18544423596114973,0.0,0.0,0.18943710516632928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5652702325504837,0.0,0.0,0.17792588663583153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17147711132566348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564276216016496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761124878118612,0.0,0.3894377307042597,0.17659638360357238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13992284783601422,0.0,0.0,0.12998278479396125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16820515035012668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26360768088549186,0.0,0.0,0.16139275724961086,0.0,0.0,0.11646158081368548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221888377342947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339652642203027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16898301722309228,0.0,0.0,0.17802573597936566,0.0,0.12452814405897125,0.0,0.0,0.11288750120923105
bipolarreddit,emptypocket,2019/07/27,"i have come to the saddening realization that if i’m not depressed or full-blown manic i don’t know my mood state i thought i was doing well but after a manic climax tuesday that almost resulted in hospitalization, retrospectively i can see the hypomania in the weeks before building into the mania.

the problem is when it was happening i didn’t think there was a problem. i thought i was okay. it’s easier to see little things now but i am really sad and frustrated that i didn’t realize it while it was happening. i am really unfamiliar with mania and hypomania having recently (past 4 years) started having more up episodes than ever before in my life. what can i do to help me catch this better??

another question, i am 34 could it be that i have experienced more hypomania and mania in the past 4 years than i ever did 18-30 because i am getting older?",4.390458758109362,6.145360427710845,6.592409638554219,70.5417006487489,71.22891566265059,9.686005560704356,29.636700648748842,10.035473477838034,3.318328637627433,685,28,119,19,13,242,96,166,0.11699999999999999,0.7759999999999999,0.107,-0.5806,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,6,9,1,0,8,1,24,1,0,1,2,24,36,9,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,12,6,0,0,6,0,0,2,4,5,1,0,10,3,19,3,13,24,2,25,0,2,2,0,2,7,0,4,15,93,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16264316498607478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17031466950547502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990115486418386,0.0,0.2764200071126591,0.0,0.0,0.14364993765759107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399130260810956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12968154299218165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13989468539648522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938417911257549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848593097933578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28726023162681724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886870810952808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926342892232997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472416298601967,0.0,0.1627905084860964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101022496765012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108337361408541,0.0,0.0,0.18195092379212874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20810465608383985,0.0,0.16037311018861236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588601920139334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11496383004269915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10790661899555437,0.10407409520900328,0.0,0.2578914263620518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302859273395546,0.0,0.14603777642981616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091901637816897
bipolarreddit,coffeefandom,2019/07/27,"I just want to sleep 😭 I have been up over 24 hours once again and I just want to break down and cry because if I don't take my seroquel, it seems that mania starts to come out seemingly the next day it seems and I just can't take it anymore.

Seroquel makes me feel so depressed and empty and hopeless. I sleep 12+ hours when I take it and I can barely function on those days. Now that I work 40 hour work weeks and hence have a full-time job, I cannot have mania ruining my life anymore. 

I laid in bed for four hours last night and my body wouldnt Shut down. I just closed my eyes and laid there and it's like it didnt even matter. I tossed and turned and I wanted to scream as loud as possible because it's like I'm going to have to sacrifice my mind to be able to sleep. I fucking hate this.

And I'm on a waitlist to see my new psychiatrist (I moved 2000 miles away last month) AND I just want to be normal and not like this. People don't get it or take it seriously when I tell them I'm up over 24 hours almost seemingly once a week at this point.

Like I think the move has permanently put me into some sort of mania from overcoming my traumatic experience in my previous residence etc. I got out of it and now I feel infinite. But I cant just feel infinite forever. I need to have a life. I want to be healthy and okay and stable here but it seems everything is just coming apart at the seams.

My boyfriend has been incredibly supportive and he felt so bad I couldn't sleep last night while he slept somewhat ok next to me. He like went and bought melatonin and everything and I'm just worried that it won't be enough to knock me out... Like when I take 100mg of seroquel, that's where tbe problems come in, but like 25mg seemed to be ok? It's just, Idk how to cut pills into fourths and I'm just scared lithium isnt enough by itself.. I'm scared that the melatonin will be as useless as it has been in past mania experiences. 

Any advice?

tl;dr I want to sleep but I have a toxic relationship with my seroquel where I feel depressed if I take it and if I dont, I dont sleep. this is in part because I have had multiple major life changes (moving 2000 miles away, new job, new relationships, etc)",2.0893106893106896,3.668284541125544,3.3841125541125554,91.89946553446552,76.96536796536796,6.816383616383617,22.66866466866467,7.61054688173877,0.7258500832500827,1726,50,394,24,39,562,203,462,0.115,0.8029999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.9709,2,0,0,0,0,3,41.0,0,0,1,2,24,25,3,2,9,3,36,14,9,2,0,84,83,43,0,14,19,0,5,7,0,3,4,2,1,0,26,34,0,0,12,0,1,9,13,14,0,3,10,9,48,11,50,63,8,71,1,5,2,1,7,30,1,14,38,237,74,4,0.06078840620359063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05940172700357396,0.0,0.0,0.06087080794581259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041338200741711885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12057152924389992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142254173204821,0.0,0.050755780046574765,0.11116814461236386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675222155269666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06430607350837995,0.1570914881131774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06677320981099155,0.07840698620388667,0.0,0.10471393037805687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14248711868436487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12562134674711986,0.1355902832129812,0.04015016898835858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926539967345604,0.11892545129548178,0.0,0.0,0.12294577865510532,0.0,0.05836640285052867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619790200389185,0.03175943329243472,0.0,0.034547452114871244,0.0,0.04861804156760005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060015966063437766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29932167609290694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064622670422465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14865199312927244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12880994708503135,0.20788701311052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04057673317060681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061378961438938,0.0,0.04852072587648202,0.1938253667389911,0.0,0.04507383295286426,0.0,0.17612946452388856,0.1292983192539024,0.1140916026050016,0.05955973147880394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12947533737573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582792013154842,0.058029412072861684,0.042143026887425716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057464692411687036,0.0685297943686804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05816629508325564,0.0,0.06110913810506289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13052799767341075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217195984659947,0.0,0.04844048944277922,0.33203689172927475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36499384118134015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04302634678711111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06898196298462991,0.0,0.0,0.27423189752763205,0.0,0.05313174637939914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03895075616699817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612033011924222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151274617130464,0.0,0.09752158551276503,0.0,0.0,0.05635146156370958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850936740527528,0.0617335772392025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ladydostuff,2019/07/27,"I can't feel a god damn thing on Lithium I started Lithium in January. It literally saved my life. The relief I felt was so fucking glorious. 

Except now I think it's working a little too well. I can't feel anything. I have to guess what I \*would\* be feeling. 

I'm only on 450 mgs. I suppose I could ask my doctor about lowering it... but I also don't want to risk feeling awful again. I am finally more productive and reliable and all that good stuff. But I'm so flat. It's bizarre. I've never experienced anything like it. 

Apparently this is common with Lithium? What the hell is going on? I have no idea because I can't feel anything!",0.5834199726402183,3.0446370000000016,3.2856908344733284,85.02131326949387,89.85271317829458,5.825991792065665,26.19288645690835,7.285733465282438,1.7232878248974008,499,24,96,9,17,174,84,129,0.184,0.672,0.145,-0.8464,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,8,9,3,1,4,1,13,3,0,0,2,21,28,7,0,3,3,0,6,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,11,3,0,0,8,0,0,1,6,4,1,0,2,7,15,5,9,23,2,12,1,0,0,1,1,5,3,1,7,67,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452387538262098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4483650365827533,0.0,0.1697870331115101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11071181227230018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14500610120611512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18589231711281715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4591541268498629,0.0,0.17438044660894267,0.19895214140532735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679016484024334,0.0,0.0,0.1032169164925287,0.15233141295391542,0.0,0.0,0.20007119417930785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20502306942692256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12828119719195946,0.08872871187127579,0.18202757620144136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14007394178223762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13812763148414858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12854918587157232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20790759056964167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065801928206862,0.11637260349162745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712219421687798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632951621355603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221907007643433,0.0,0.0,0.12901524349961369,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,XyzSnek,2019/07/27,"Stop glorifying (hypo)mania I get the meme and shit like “mania = feels good ha ha” but please be aware how triggering it can be. I personally think it’s very irresponsible and frankly is just making me really annoyed. The general consensus I’ve noticed is that during summer, many are going through high periods. It’s always good to come and vent, this is what this is here for, but please remember to add flairs if anything you say may be taken as glorifying your symptoms because it IS harmful. People say they want the pros of mania without the bad effects, but that’s just typically being stable. Please don’t confuse those. 

My intention is not to make anyone feel bad or be mean, just a reminder. I’ve been feeling down this summer so maybe I’m just jealous of everyone. Idk.",4.720510204081633,6.783274333333335,5.803826530612247,75.27063775510206,70.97278911564625,8.70952380952381,30.617346938775512,9.2995712137729,2.9958530612244902,625,27,108,14,12,207,104,147,0.115,0.655,0.231,0.9529,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,1,1,7,12,3,1,5,2,16,2,1,6,0,33,29,11,0,2,11,0,3,1,0,1,1,2,0,1,11,5,0,1,7,0,0,2,3,7,0,0,2,5,7,5,10,21,0,8,0,0,0,0,6,2,1,4,5,65,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12907968644652967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084697460161406,0.0,0.1276578812305066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590523326824535,0.09456514823003766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336298263400866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14823232853827062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353135253130765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104845666373724,0.0,0.0881633387407344,0.2602295518503087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16390221846676634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578815320744972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070995140028105,0.15727637385968418,0.15584784833386264,0.16898086871618853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17661530071757628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754685881557778,0.13545258712618718,0.0,0.5108549010996838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937955682885624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17573082290884134,0.0,0.0,0.2467294831685907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592376045118898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969472121100745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161238343044241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09940034647824583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799760332034207,0.09149905477051302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14953874064465558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RoscooJenkem,2019/07/27,"Bleh I’m 24 and I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 three years ago. I realized I only talk to my therapist and my parents. Being a friendless fuck is a huge bummer. My parents are helping me financially because I cannot hold down a job. I’m extremely grateful for them but I feel so guilty that they have a financial burden. I will go for walks or hiking or kayaking and I’m so paranoid about what others are thinking or saying about me that I don’t get to enjoy the activity. I just feel like I cant integrate into society and that I’ll never get to experience and enjoy all the beauty that is on this planet because of the way other humans make me feel. 

Has anyone experienced this? How did you manage the feelings?",2.81118881118881,4.905493755244759,5.03846153846154,78.53153846153849,76.48251748251748,7.476923076923077,27.08391608391609,8.384062270229773,2.183430769230769,569,23,103,11,13,198,96,143,0.12,0.728,0.152,0.7011,3,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,2,0,6,5,1,0,8,0,13,3,0,2,2,23,26,12,0,0,5,2,4,1,0,1,2,1,0,1,9,7,0,1,6,0,0,2,4,2,0,1,2,6,18,3,12,22,1,10,0,0,0,1,9,4,1,3,4,76,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18123171548414285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429555045181694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492604430556867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20751144595934096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19999036673595166,0.0,0.0,0.4135022586675826,0.1460584167109547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890098193300091,0.2136323433643786,0.0,0.11619308639122773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370378647264904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028840997537028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988346129859207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13647130465915355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15768368375780184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15549268824761953,0.0,0.0,0.4540328710784564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16258606220311694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643283733530391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373810635805203,0.0,0.1310026731136995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622821112821434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165846212479607
bipolarreddit,peaches_niches_87,2019/07/27,"was accused of being drunk at work because of my meds has this happened to anyone else?

I was recently started (as in yesterday, after waiting over a week to hear back from my health insurance lol) on lamictal for mood swings and hydroxyzine for anxiety. Mind you, this is my first bout with taking medications for mental health reasons. I took them exactly as my doctor told me. Get in today feeling a wee bit out of it, kinda zoned. As the morning goes on, it gets worse & I find myself just absolutely drained--almost unable to keep my eyes open, clearly having a very difficult time focusing & putting on my customer service face.

Afternoon comes & I get pulled aside, asked if I'm under the influence as people have been making comments and asking questions. I deny this, regrettably state I'm on new medication & then I am told to leave because I can't be seen by customers in my current state. 

It absolutely fucking wrecked me because I'm trying to make myself functional, am already embarrassed by needing the medication, & then get told to leave work because of it--my first day on them.",9.203088235294116,8.257016269607844,8.966980392156863,67.10841176470592,60.32352941176471,11.885490196078427,41.47843137254903,11.00357731598739,4.7476937254901985,885,43,145,19,10,287,132,204,0.113,0.866,0.021,-0.9412,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,2,4,2,4,1,1,6,1,12,10,2,4,2,22,38,9,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,6,6,1,2,4,1,0,4,1,3,0,2,8,4,21,0,34,28,1,35,0,0,2,1,11,13,1,3,16,88,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725036052993824,0.0,0.10717291285410176,0.0,0.0,0.5261404152197692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429554826677236,0.0,0.0,0.06790766101582899,0.09950959661535554,0.0,0.0,0.1815857698789215,0.0,0.0,0.07467829415702235,0.0,0.2368106597746233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602847913951416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365917024786236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06263353431403253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09940511621796867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113022123338645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04910613848959716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876474261211953,0.16521825232141088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08978468358379306,0.20296207276665668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08588175560286651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20646529712757974,0.10945984593124508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632357287811325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20566938471931154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12965498777284012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787699433237803,0.29351065247842945,0.09787281835705404,0.0,0.09806221291170694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201229379170421,0.0,0.09379785649272757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732988598202055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763112915605672,0.10879518324089936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985421024486887,0.0958930108528409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874112367717558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302118427361838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05663070152728601,0.0,0.0920571824549659,0.2784032715389416,0.1079024616394156,0.06593722988679898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013310786053597,0.0,0.0,0.07790277203984462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14140715691012795,0.0,0.09897226382889017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tohellothink,2019/07/27,"Mania Taking Control, please read my message I'm mixed manic so I don't know what to write but I'll just let it flow.

Does anyone else just wish the mania would just come to an end? 

I'm becoming more aware of my episodes (my husband helps me know too) and I don't like how I am right now. I don't like that I just purchased too many things on Amazon. I don't like that I can't stop talking. I hate what's going on in my brain with the racing thoughts, billions of ideas that I think are SO IMPORTANT, fast movements where I don't even think first, saying things I regret, then ....the mixed part of being extremely irritable, depressed deep down to my soul, bored as hell to the point it literally brings me to tears, feeling hopeless....the embarrassment - oh man the embarrassment. The not being ""me"" (whoever that is :( ) The insanity.

The classic sleep problems.

**Wondering why my meds that I take consistently aren't working. **

Maybe they are. Maybe this would be worse like in the past.

I want to know what you all feel like. Open your souls and tell me. Let me not feel alone. Please, just let your words flow out. 

I might be too racing to respond to all but I promise I will read each response.",1.4460881458966597,3.9931419234042593,2.345341945288755,93.19625,85.08510638297872,5.2294832826747735,20.733282674772035,6.7097532225279775,0.3211793313069906,932,29,195,11,28,292,134,235,0.235,0.655,0.109,-0.9903,0,1,0,0,0,1,46.0,0,3,1,3,14,14,2,2,10,0,22,2,2,2,2,41,42,9,0,6,9,1,3,5,0,4,0,1,0,1,13,7,0,2,11,2,1,6,9,8,0,2,1,4,31,6,19,30,5,24,3,2,0,0,13,11,1,2,12,123,44,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120959241512721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166229939097654,0.11966517988573175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12898540437111464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13037629013802365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10060426328023801,0.0,0.0,0.13098994134067804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059107543694018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220373591868437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756307781639896,0.0,0.10344129501699756,0.0,0.0,0.07713870853538712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17715763390838174,0.08343481556882641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09934153366569357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637446134042399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153059683255514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07828189040298526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184171992347166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19255422649626194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3582771330001838,0.0,0.285288529051917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11840675212188224,0.23466255094181926,0.0,0.12972738681893167,0.0,0.0,0.12389575793450347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264722135040222,0.11148929175531604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564007471277899,0.11040432134435256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175227890850303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336432555229262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997380412753187,0.0,0.09287611367733914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11687436708034064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09764168850719472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756231247795716,0.0938713963370502,0.10207962758824084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15518020317589112,0.149668661572517,0.0,0.09271823246966973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06888578132698067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538482998122706,0.0,0.13430276236769614,0.0,0.1266537977139143,0.08502452750456213,0.0,0.11901901080518144,0.16592856254546892,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,georgeyellow,2019/07/27,"How to tell if you have Lithium toxicity? So I know that there are some obvious side effects like throwing up. But my question is how can you tell if you’re toxic vs just sick in some other capacity? I also have an anti nausea/vomiting prescription, so even if I did get sick, I probably wouldn’t ever puke. It just seems really hard to tell the difference between toxicity vs just illness. Does anyone have any tips?",4.78316666666667,6.381531650000002,6.720000000000002,70.63166666666669,70.0,9.833333333333336,30.833333333333336,10.125756701596842,3.4302083333333337,332,14,58,9,6,116,60,80,0.201,0.77,0.028999999999999998,-0.9291,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,1,11,1,0,0,2,0,8,3,0,3,2,20,11,9,0,4,9,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,7,1,5,9,2,5,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,7,2,42,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19481136705897628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16566020985108926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703347492532004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25451607733511505,0.0,0.0,0.2131809642917432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16089924817305287,0.22035527607635455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12727390862630292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21822283215513144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13387930592407862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901342583611413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626481153942721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728941032584667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15606003070034388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22176945365804035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6387662813358539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bunny1888,2019/03/08,"Rapid cycling. Please help. Hi guys 

I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 but they seem to think it’s something else as I don’t fit the category properly. My GP put me on antidepressants. I’m cycling between moods in a matter of days and I don’t know what to do. When I go to my GP I’m not being heard and I feel like no one takes me seriously. I last visited my GP exactly a month ago when she started me on these antidepressants, I asked if I can be referred again for an assessment. I was referred to SPA and then they contacted me and over the telephone asked me what’s going on (I told them everything) but at the time I was good (manic) so she was like ok that’s good let’s leave you on the medication for now. I don’t know if that’s what my GP referred me to or if I should be waiting on another referral? I’m just so confused and sick and tired of all these moods. I can’t be productive or do anything when I’m like this. I’m just feeling so down and depressed, I have no idea where my time even goes. I’ll be going back to my GP next week but what should I say? I feel like everything is just overwhelming right now and everything is making it worse. Sorry if this is repetitive or doesn’t make sense ",1.1734251968503957,3.1628857440944915,3.192085039370081,90.27299370078742,81.3228346456693,7.0561259842519695,23.54582677165355,8.109356740369918,1.2651693228346454,945,34,213,19,25,319,131,254,0.132,0.742,0.126,-0.5842,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,3,0,15,13,0,2,7,1,24,5,0,2,2,43,48,26,0,6,14,0,3,4,0,2,5,2,0,1,12,9,0,1,11,1,0,5,8,4,0,1,6,5,35,7,22,34,1,35,0,2,0,0,17,12,0,9,22,139,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856552130905115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025352444919195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006876792966104,0.0,0.2500852834661284,0.0,0.0,0.10284915153582064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862607526672086,0.0,0.11520277575348392,0.1357582622999394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11173493599388244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834375517623827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3606304516719889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20289127125357545,0.19110884949300386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280477314417232,0.22437428754854208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13243823779658964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965299383151955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150992839367931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14701623233193378,0.10902797853129848,0.0,0.1416269744378351,0.0,0.13677330065096416,0.0,0.261383271187017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17856467713074914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13474384542786602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676177051827987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14224970091879094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063568458330527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14682255680279369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13446047356238822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422583120045594,0.0,0.10636715086651076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176530681151598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297094619555257,0.0,0.14972749920319342,0.09467230506029974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056693087942267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570464716460753,0.0,0.0,0.15598694824798626,0.15373141644090846,0.0,0.1278084017397367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728999767642716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630752382984834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,monorogue,2019/03/08,"Headaches? Hello everyone!

I’ve been having some terrible headaches in the past 3 days. I’m taking Lamictal, Venlafaxine and Seroquel.
I’m taking all 3 meds for a while now, and I never had any issues. And they always start around 6 pm, so mostly at night.
I’m not sure if it’s caused by the pills, or something else.

The only thing I think of is that I had a few days in which I didn’t take my afternoon dose of Lamictal at the same time. I got caught up with work and I completely forgot. Could that be the cause? 

Thank you!",0.9505555555555568,3.2333770185185173,2.5607407407407408,92.73333333333336,84.37037037037038,6.192592592592592,19.185185185185183,7.492282038375204,0.5102629629629631,410,11,89,7,12,134,79,108,0.062,0.912,0.026000000000000002,-0.5432,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,1,1,3,3,0,0,7,0,8,2,0,2,3,20,20,8,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,7,0,9,2,11,11,5,17,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,4,10,56,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16088857544589774,0.0,0.0,0.13148944111542846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17212879033144332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3972619562135479,0.0,0.0,0.20273121377746708,0.0,0.0,0.15437989033155092,0.0,0.0,0.2493986339635552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615250246562758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18476097076227316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15464531593412706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20181454996972367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147761204700336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14912889589322986,0.0,0.0,0.18145251599397466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14705676811466792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845812063614624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14885572247544235,0.0,0.0,0.1368591324916374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18223675437219167,0.0,0.43614136918091867,0.0,0.0,0.1780172158016026,0.0,0.0,0.1284578485281168,0.1238954058843206,0.0,0.0,0.11274806504204148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14076625306355572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheBurgundyPhone,2019/03/08,"My doctor put me on a leave. I've been stable for a long time without meds. It's been about 11 years. 

Well that changed. 

Last week I started having some derealization, depersonalization and sensory sensitivity. The mental illness was hard to hide. 

I run myself hard. 1.5 jobs with complex advocacy/legal-y components. For the last five years, I went to school part time while I worked one or two jobs full time. I over commit myself constantly. And that is through hypo-mania and depression. I push. I always push myself. And I may have just run myself down.  

So now I'm off work with an unknown return date and waiting for her to call in drugs for me. Lithium is on the top of the list. I've never been on it before, and I've heard good and bad things. 

It just sort of is what it is. I'm trying to treat this like a vacation for now. I do what I want, when I want. I almost feel like I have a free pass to eat all the cookies because I'm crazy (in a comedic, not dangerous to self and others kind of sense).

This is very surreal for me. I have been in this same general zone before when I was a teenager, but I was in the US then and they still made me go to school and perform. I still needed to maintain my GPA (which didn't happen). So it's strange that this is taken so seriously now. I'm pleased about it, but it it's still hard to conceptualize. 

And that's it... Thank you for reading.

Going to go get a snack now.... Because... Well, I can... 


",0.9815783898305064,3.2135719491525445,2.8853125000000013,90.79593485169492,83.74576271186443,5.585805084745761,20.405190677966107,6.9077264865688965,0.3419682203389831,1115,33,243,14,32,372,158,295,0.07200000000000001,0.815,0.113,0.8615,2,0,1,0,0,0,56.0,1,1,1,4,20,14,1,0,14,0,21,5,0,1,3,36,41,21,0,3,7,0,4,2,0,1,3,1,0,1,22,13,2,1,2,2,1,10,4,4,2,3,12,5,32,11,36,28,5,47,0,1,0,0,7,12,0,5,27,167,54,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11428495445614463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496550676321734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529398749187992,0.13914547627173496,0.0,0.19423286509668053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653974084307032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12073466625744465,0.0,0.0,0.12333424951436492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09830021292664123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681714204217285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323548504403208,0.11678373345395948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057707681187187734,0.08153466995242774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05962834254820424,0.0,0.1945885453847753,0.09572703477423854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092499888127228,0.0,0.30671484661773696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265133154873216,0.0,0.0,0.11884908750731975,0.0,0.1860627651458962,0.0,0.12084745052659154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11151654569559603,0.0,0.0,0.10100167550444507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10799279753198514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12677297355978678,0.0,0.11501644340934908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08462613065309782,0.08802428098011199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733760783989937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235919336059062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528073652523974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11473241937922718,0.0,0.0,0.11416113043336165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23101180246631184,0.0,0.0,0.11906273659196652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08078197495516477,0.0,0.27343368365799764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507579586880644,0.0,0.0,0.07582306356666961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19965079130600252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748694476312337,0.0,0.11148866575604784,0.0,0.13728463245083924,0.0,0.0,0.09416940494993242,0.13463395122572766,0.0,0.09154839844362593,0.0,0.2052335937951912,0.1057998806928726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001748359480028,0.0,0.16617635553414573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14699227196243222
bipolarreddit,peachpitiful,2019/03/08,"Anyone else desperately searching for people to bring new ""adventures"" My last hypomanic episode, I met a guy off tinder and we spent pretty much 2 months together everyday. Everyday was a new adventure, lots of alcohol, house parties, clubs, gigs, meeting friends, 4 am walks. So many new environments and experiences, and we pretty much left the house for 14 hours a day and wandered around. And it wasn't all alcohol. Just walking around the streets for hours, talking to new people, watching a new film, going to a new cafe all in a day. Sadly it ended sour. And of course it's not really a healthy way to live. But it felt great to have someone who matched my energy in that state. 

​

I'm now coming out of a depressive episode. I don't know what I am right now, but I am longing for someone to sweep me off my feet and have a 7 day bender with me. I'm this close to redownloading tinder and going out with anyone. As awful as it sounds, I don't even really want to hang out with my existing friends like this. I specifically want someone new, and someone who's going to spend an unhealthy amount of time with me and probably kill their liver with alcohol. I don't know, it just seems more exciting? The idea of watching TV with a friend feels like a band aid. I can't be quiet. I want to dance! I may be in my PJs but if someone I didn't really know invited me.... anywhere right now, I would jump out of bed. 

​

Anyone else feel like they need someone new when (hypo)manic? I really don't think I can be alone if I keep going up and I'm probably going to hang out with anyone I can.",3.601419558359624,5.199734037854891,4.877597476340696,82.67710283911674,72.97476340694006,8.352757097791798,27.50649842271293,8.954980946260402,2.176294738170347,1258,47,250,26,25,417,156,317,0.09699999999999999,0.785,0.11800000000000001,0.8141,0,1,3,0,0,0,52.0,2,0,2,0,10,13,1,0,15,1,20,5,2,0,2,56,45,20,1,7,8,0,3,3,3,2,3,2,2,1,12,29,3,1,9,5,2,13,8,3,0,0,6,8,29,10,43,34,7,57,0,2,2,0,14,18,0,5,27,150,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207302569142636,0.0,0.07130496821869868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14919189234428334,0.16731384307121674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925583391535092,0.14108424857706467,0.0,0.12257726434392124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05930579347348616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320230548081852,0.0,0.059298019294882987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11502605466131552,0.0,0.060978211845949315,0.0,0.0,0.04547294685184329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734580279922263,0.0,0.0,0.06962245738072863,0.09836895136023943,0.06610413857846806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595735999789574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956373401991958,0.0,0.0,0.07590431537987836,0.0,0.06816958297122436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560130890132885,0.15888092225025716,0.0,0.0777201438391381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06119458237315745,0.07616926068642478,0.0,0.11350991316565183,0.056119682293640484,0.0,0.0,0.07480271807389959,0.0,0.0,0.1009058385757166,0.0,0.060793366433123476,0.06092763305963204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05853145391182184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698002863720191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054953203052118114,0.0,0.1012212730982892,0.05104934952748882,0.0,0.5319446787657358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954600027901929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14008477018403995,0.14845791919692514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764211968001547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175903184310878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06267593350534582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3500042131446051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055336796500615404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04411452578280732,0.0,0.0,0.04014537413035935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121823642083371,0.05464772750118695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04890709767568576,0.0,0.16731384307121674,0.0
bipolarreddit,OmenRazor,2019/03/08,"How do you leave past manic mistakes behind? Its been almost 2 years ago but mistakes I made while I was manic still haunt me to this day. I was delusional and not living in reality. I did alot of things I'm not proud of and some things are still coming around to bite me in the ass. How do I leave it all in the past and forgive myself and finally move on if I'm still facing consequences? 

I was in an SSRI induced manic episode, undiagnosed at the time, and it all feels so unfair. I didnt know what I was dealing with and it took all of my sense of self worth and peace of mind. 

Today I am medicated, seeing a pdoc once to twice a month and committed to stability. But the manic regrets never go away. Where do I go from here? I know I need therapy but it isnt covered on my insurance. ",1.6991666666666705,3.5424835914634163,3.783756097560975,87.40839837398376,78.9390243902439,6.812357723577236,21.908943089430885,7.793537801064563,0.9245167479674796,615,18,132,10,15,210,99,164,0.16399999999999998,0.764,0.07200000000000001,-0.9424,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,1,9,5,0,0,8,0,13,3,2,4,5,38,25,16,0,5,6,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,9,11,0,0,5,0,1,5,5,3,0,1,9,2,18,2,21,16,5,29,0,1,1,1,4,10,1,4,14,98,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14203660557393222,0.0,0.16044988644027353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426410591527595,0.0,0.0,0.15054388019606516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13802626841496146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333682480226664,0.1651928603577541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101845896757019,0.0,0.0,0.1755270720917245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18212785260108247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17611938423706305,0.0,0.0,0.3393265510033315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14148839466921234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516160388988355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16141757076803476,0.0,0.0,0.1617893326053184,0.0,0.1278961988447984,0.17030198399973134,0.0,0.1188105041279058,0.12358132314490625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17064257794348106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3059204532187256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12768470293878958,0.0,0.1671576337966691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3838860828238494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18324003740317013,0.0,0.21290294941657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343296600210388,0.0,0.1518818479481497,0.0,0.17802440651456988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10318459440354616
bipolarreddit,im-no-mountain,2019/03/08,"Everything hurts Even though I feel like I'm using a lot of DBT and mindfulness techniques, and am on some proper medication, everything feels so painful to me. My heart is an open wound and everything is salt.

 I don't even consciously go down this rabbit hole of sadness and rumination but my body has this immediate visceral reaction of intense sadness and emotional pain. Everything is a 'trigger'. I saw a dead robin on a walk, I think briefly of people I've met in the past with bad life circumstances, I see things in my house that remind me a little bit of sad or traumatic things from my past... The way the sunset casts purple shadows over everything... Seeing people drive home after work and worrying what sort of stress they have in their lives.

 In terms of any real stress I have rn, conflicts or overthinking my relationship with family+friends I can logically rationalize the situation and be at peace with it mentally, but inside I am aching all over. The contrast between my thoughts/inner self-talk and emotions is tremendous and I don't know how to feel better emotionally, I am hurting so much and I just want to lie in bed and cry all day. Even things I love just feel painful. I feel like such a waste and I can feel suicide creeping in my thoughts again. I don't know how to feel better",7.363641114982578,7.492782890243906,7.188060394889665,74.82439024390246,63.593495934959364,10.931010452961669,35.05110336817654,10.608840637214634,3.665666434378629,1045,43,192,24,14,332,145,246,0.258,0.6459999999999999,0.095,-0.9948,0,0,0,0,0,1,25.0,0,0,2,3,12,16,0,2,12,0,16,9,2,4,2,48,36,21,2,1,6,0,7,2,0,0,6,0,2,0,8,16,0,1,13,0,0,3,3,11,0,0,3,12,26,5,29,32,7,24,0,5,4,1,5,14,0,5,8,124,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06295400305317136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772960475948823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637496829111493,0.10106764798955574,0.10282967536495438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10168901352471234,0.05970305383766731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3124023932918296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18343424356116272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4160010705127198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3276600184676576,0.1322708367054721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152302053800412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05261236258220438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970152191799536,0.0,0.0,0.09286002016502484,0.0,0.0,0.1068188296814198,0.1982063644739892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175332074584463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06538828215848863,0.09045469132497116,0.09278421759250373,0.08174519838890791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870374010750875,0.08355232428321302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325931908929784,0.09329357200758008,0.0,0.09347410522220452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805309144789494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2955181761137985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17674614372475414,0.1283593478060513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537033023114854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939063404572304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475401766676675,0.0,0.096575651797274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405789529973428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120881217418809,0.0,0.0,0.10126174864512998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07440807564301583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18450764684619225,0.059318160410069876,0.09095421972311174,0.07349400908364823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995485888183733,0.0,0.0,0.05460298480382967,0.07348152583393608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739551898594823,0.09401415011462838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,zefcashi,2019/03/08,"SO in need of help We have been together with break ups for 7 years. 
2 years ago we moved for a fresh start but I feel it was to get me away from friends and family as all I have is him now. He also now has little support. 
I am scared for my safety and though I love him I can't do this to myself no more. I want children and a house and this feels like it'll never happen. 
We have moved countless times from him damaging the houses or putting us in financial debt that we are then kicked out. We have been homeless from him not being able to accept help and choosing drugs. 
My jobs have been comprised from him going into work and abusing me having police show up or I become sick from no sleep or malnourished or crazy depressed. 
He is in and out of work for his family but really is just a pay cheque and he never goes to work so has no routine. Especially now days. 
I've had many police involvements and hospitalized from them and other times. 
This past year and a half has been nothing but a downward spiral and I feel I am an enabler and he does better without me because he has to stand on his own two feet when I'm not there. I feel like a mother more than a partner. 
Our current house is trashed inside and out. Actual mess and filth to house damage aswell.
He recently got out of hospital but his mania is still very high up. He spent all our pay on material things, drugs and the likes and we now have to paid rent that I'm aware of for 2 weeks. He goes out at all hours night driving around and from this his car has been in multiple crashes but won't tell me any details so we can't get insurance. It's still half drivable but suspended and I'm worried of him driving my car. 
I have most of my belongings in my car as he has said he will light the house in fire before being hospitalized and did try. 
I am extremely mentally drainage from all this and the way I am spoken to constantly. I am walking on egg shells and get no sleep as he hardly sleeps and does many OCD things to wake me up like flicking lights, rummaging through draws. Half organising or cleaning at inappropriate hours of the night. Physically waking me up to harrass me when his not driving around. I know his taken his meds and the hospital and docs just won't believe me that he isn't fine and his meds currently don't work anymore.  
I am sorry for the mess of this post. Hard to put 7 years of a very stressful realtionships in words and currently what's happening. 
How do I get out? I feel I have spent majority of the years trying so hard to help and also been a bad guy and an enabler which makes it hard too. But it gets harder and harder to see a future and happiness. 
I am scared he will try to hurt himself or follow me if I try.  
Any advice I'd be so greatful for. ",2.9835283687943246,4.4926155443262425,4.152609929078015,87.6136666666667,74.40780141843972,7.353758865248227,24.41276595744681,8.021203637495839,1.220697446808511,2173,67,461,33,45,710,254,564,0.147,0.764,0.08900000000000001,-0.9868,6,0,2,0,0,0,34.0,10,0,1,7,23,22,0,3,20,0,51,11,6,2,6,88,82,60,0,3,20,1,10,4,2,5,3,1,2,3,19,48,1,0,8,1,8,13,16,10,0,4,15,14,62,12,73,59,9,80,0,4,1,1,51,30,0,8,37,312,81,7,0.06878707001778228,0.08150142982614332,0.0671262576832135,0.0,0.0,0.0672179287097459,0.06097558719645445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001799008227316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09355513284246343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821828982054585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224701520431148,0.0,0.0,0.06462771661358588,0.0,0.05743433022701406,0.0419319594243391,0.07596991450901976,0.058532730178031435,0.07749947239527173,0.0,0.06083657350877586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433438563490256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044361969549149546,0.0,0.0592462026116348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039205704089205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15954232554250475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969265544061528,0.0,0.17390404710594198,0.09828299313002026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05314471966203374,0.0,0.17969202501337753,0.0,0.03909327708975629,0.0,0.055015303711654376,0.07583798753429466,0.0,0.06811001400534683,0.12165635768787506,0.07322511512429879,0.2464788143137521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13831956919114133,0.07267731614599801,0.0,0.0,0.13548281573486334,0.3968552163585679,0.07363798114205722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682605529736239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03780357474448056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13442355136629225,0.06894271516951163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062083016317568414,0.0,0.04591590337722215,0.13947858488095002,0.0,0.0,0.15281385570970565,0.0,0.06932118768639127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14621953873291688,0.0,0.051004740820386175,0.10610565797213636,0.0,0.0,0.1291040108955459,0.0,0.06600304887959961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566504175118343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587899857464137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830000896819022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044066758446985,0.0,0.06791893310860027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543225566744608,0.0,0.13773571417837507,0.0,0.05481438891219488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20651024165128665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700149320453781,0.04868784220369266,0.0,0.10986688594416323,0.0,0.07879535629811975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805875189251997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601229311083813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913981455982847,0.0,0.0675829470414405,0.0,0.08022058739666524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18680762096084386,0.0,0.0671949722551769,0.0,0.0827423757028493,0.0,0.0,0.1135130734588412,0.040572396108018084,0.05459997440555518,0.05517683839616337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630828082482422,0.0,0.2003112248919816,0.06985660860689523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22148308909386272
bipolarreddit,sweetsuss,2019/03/08,Still recovering from psychotic break My first experience of full-blown mania months ago has left me humiliated and isolated. Trying to pick up the pieces. Just wanted to say thank you to this sub for your honesty and support.,6.9026666666666685,9.027464600000004,7.0150000000000015,68.51666666666668,65.5,10.333333333333336,30.833333333333336,10.504223727775694,3.5903333333333336,184,7,30,5,3,59,37,40,0.1,0.722,0.17800000000000002,0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,2,7,4,1,7,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040796128106573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3355538136383776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29178518739806913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3727082650576575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27380706873087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727950056151126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273947998491406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3892717748742044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31582031426846635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23289808127979966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20233078624692824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,iamokayright,2019/03/08,"Been taking abilify for a week.. anyone else like this? Thank you to everyone ‘s kind words to me on my last post. I hope posting like this on this subreddit is fine.

I went to my psychiatrist about a week ago. I told him how I’ve been feeling depressed lately and about how I’m hating myself more and more. My insecurities are eating me up that I can’t look in the mirror. I also told him that I relapsed into cutting again. All this after my mania period over the holidays that I wasn’t sure was mania.

My psychiatrist suggested we try abilify along with the 400mg lamictal that I’ve been taking because he can’t increase my dose anymore and lamictal has been working for me for the most part. He said that it’s supposed to help people feel better about themselves. He’s retiring next month so the last time I’ll see him for would be next week. (I feel really upset about it since he’s been there with me since the beginning. But he’s getting old. I get it)

I’ve been taking it for a week now and I’m not sure if it’s the meds but I do feel a little bit better. But I’m scared that I might be going back to manic phase again? I’ve been thinking about shaving my eyebrows and getting my ears pierced. It’s like I’ve accepted how I look but I still want to change it.

For anyone else on abilify how is it working for you?",2.0133211678832126,3.9246058357664246,3.8004583941605823,87.33614744525549,78.23357664233576,6.86575182481752,23.003795620437952,7.839951260653429,1.1184609051094894,1045,33,218,17,25,351,134,274,0.051,0.818,0.131,0.9342,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,2,0,4,17,18,2,3,11,0,20,3,1,4,3,35,47,16,0,4,6,0,4,3,0,2,1,2,0,0,18,10,1,0,6,1,0,3,4,6,0,0,13,9,32,12,29,30,7,34,0,1,3,0,16,8,0,4,24,138,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371054956256887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454077103974621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484152302962442,0.14783768785286475,0.21663636271254114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128881318999373,0.0,0.06444328201760463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18699381175758492,0.11541411505019812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183314550212746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09105273866972176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817350691796863,0.17662372908617002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101583861403728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213812046095724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16569619931755528,0.0,0.060080642905163587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437232284674547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085897509767825,0.0,0.0,0.10499949862725047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008658662840023,0.0,0.17234473686886212,0.1192518633914456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15494198725920502,0.10595485872165997,0.0,0.0,0.17754904991740422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742626071966965,0.0,0.0,0.11214760375605548,0.0,0.0,0.08438122716521236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22485959663542324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11093079654370837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447975235518842,0.0,0.07328992427421935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024927498007041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06772415554118777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10055979646345124,0.0,0.10583981281281503,0.0,0.08424168991351423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17489816435859387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442465857183472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992715073238424,0.0,0.23845504805650816,0.0,0.0,0.09732877169752806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773832305706162,0.0,0.0,0.06164364852242625,0.0,0.0,0.20203167722807455,0.0,0.07177399032794657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06235383226573805,0.0,0.3391948868041523,0.0,0.0,0.0979994712239839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15392451168777274,0.0,0.0,0.07509736811973156,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,boot-doot,2019/03/08,"Experiences with lamictal After being on 25 mg for two weeks, I've now been on 50 mg of lamictal for almost two weeks. I'm going to move to 75 mg soon, which (according to my psychiatrist) is when I should start to feel something. 

Just wanted to know what everyone's experiences were. I've had some pretty terrible experiences with medications in the past. Zoloft made me go manic (which is what caused my psychiatrist to realize that I probably have bipolar tendencies). Another one which I've had (I cannot remember the name of it -- it had two names, one started with an ""m"" and the other with a ""r"") caused weight gain. 

My main worry is any side effects -- particularly weight gain. I've gained the horrid freshmen 15 after starting college. Also, I've gone off of my Dexedrine (which majorly suppresses appetite) -- which I've been taking since I was eleven years old. It's hard to manage my appetite now that I actually feel hunger. 

I've also heard that lamictal can cause lethargy. I've actually been experiencing issues with insomnia (which I'm now taking ambien for, which I hope doesn't cause weight gain as well) and briefly went off of lamictal because I couldn't sleep. What have been the experiences of people that were made more energetic by lamictal? Did you still get the whole ""brain fog"" or anything? 

At what dosage did you guys start to notice changes?

When should I start worrying about the dreaded rash that I'm always told to fear for? I haven't gotten anything so far, but am I at too low of a dosage to feel safe about not having had any rashes? ",6.210954504906333,7.1085389661016976,6.705263157894738,74.64324710080284,66.11864406779661,10.278322925958967,31.119536128456737,10.307518312809881,3.1839152542372897,1245,46,228,30,19,406,159,295,0.076,0.861,0.063,0.2632,0,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,0,2,0,5,15,7,0,2,10,0,28,12,4,7,0,35,54,10,0,5,4,0,7,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,20,7,4,2,7,0,0,5,5,4,1,6,20,9,18,3,38,30,5,34,0,1,0,0,7,10,0,4,19,142,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.17483560744507634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08970209286372473,0.0,0.0,0.1432752457070968,0.07453828675054253,0.0,0.0,0.12183584371192573,0.09393313454852373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14743450374072434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05460753995786928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10000164463985103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3680960630704859,0.09476446218169553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559816121697203,0.0,0.35050830557282064,0.0,0.10080314939864694,0.13588402256719848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046802198469804115,0.0,0.10182150894307122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869893900472392,0.0,0.0,0.08024667751153272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897380979568156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09349893710217766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049231188972563886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169526776274735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024309237053288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952100666603278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198817716274312,0.09399983543923147,0.0,0.12140434956335562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551487792343776,0.06210395161469785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09113573785019273,0.09658310455833932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147742708000812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07410204911786478,0.0,0.08964535585344968,0.0,0.0,0.06896356994636195,0.0,0.0,0.3170282673527229,0.0,0.0715392322062603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13470701840153748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559816121697203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625218699126167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05283699526736384,0.0,0.14371240690071216,0.32725533859832273,0.0805437731369826,0.0830421709318255,0.0,0.1000136097572941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819470207542008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057687009163064185
bipolarreddit,ngunguru,2019/03/08,"Does anyone feel like your meds do nothing? I'm on heaps of meds, and I feel exactly the same as being off them, apart from the occasional side effect. Then I think, if they don't have any effect, do I even have bipolar? Probably sounds silly, but it's what I think sometimes. Does anyone else feel this way about medication? 


If interested, I'm taking Lithium (900), Latuda (20), Lamictal (100), Abilify (15), Wellbutrin (150 - I think), ADHD meds, and side effect meds.

Thanks!",3.1636781609195417,5.806783298850579,4.320229885057471,81.306091954023,78.08045977011494,7.085057471264367,23.459770114942533,8.167268648758528,1.6440252873563224,365,12,65,7,9,119,62,87,0.0,0.87,0.13,0.8759,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,2,3,2,4,0,0,2,0,6,2,0,3,1,16,16,7,0,2,3,0,3,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,9,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,8,4,6,15,1,7,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,2,33,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18607494192734214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528935284060632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21652073882144124,0.15864109480930372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709846352167525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129340159706761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022634085029167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23485930513695355,0.1106102084139279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564186111373297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.687922575016635,0.15597440793358927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14856305775850925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16693236184794058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15313031049859685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164124969998236,0.0,0.0,0.14254617927673305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29762542896580296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289643113339202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hoffdaddy93,2019/09/16,Change of meds My doctor is moving me off of Latina and to 5mg abilify to go along with 200mg lamictol. What are your experiences with abilify and what kind of side effects did you have?,3.371491228070173,4.918563342105267,5.1868421052631595,80.43622807017546,73.47368421052632,9.27719298245614,25.824561403508767,9.725611199111238,2.4047087719298244,149,5,30,4,3,51,30,38,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,6,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,9,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,21,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4028859634176671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3898133673969323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3725417554363449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21644430719458915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3965938748660321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42303551391817257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4047804266536086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nxoxa,2019/09/16,"Need advise Last night I had a really bad breakdown.
Due to bullying from people I used to care about I got really upset and since I didnt take my meds for three days things got bad.
I asked my partner to come over cause I was scared I would harm myself, at this point I was laying on the floor trying to stop dark thoughts.
She arrived, stressed out about this bullying situation that involves her as well. Eventhough she wad upset, I was having a breakdown and needed her attention.
She sat in front of me, tried to calm me down and when she realised she couldnt do it and after insisiting on going to bed, she started telling me that I invited her over to sit in silence and if she knew she would've stayed at her house.
Then things got worse, I broke down crying and screaming and my parents came and calmed me down.
I told her to leave and she started telling me all the things I did wrong and that I shouldnt have cheked my bullies profiles cause it was obvious I would find shit.
I started crying again and she told me to stop crying and I broked down again, tried to hurt myself. My mom came back and held my hands for me to stop tearing my hair off.
I told my partner to leave.

Today she sent me a message telling me that shes sorry, she feels like shit, that she wants to make things better. She offerend me to buy pizza and talk but I dont want to see her and I feel very very vulnerable. I love her but I dont know how to stop hurting, I dont know how to get over this. Im scared I wont trust her with my feelings again. We've been together for almost two years and shes amazing, this caught me off guard.

What would you guys do?",2.1514990138067063,3.9791654911242635,2.9430532544378707,94.02951084812624,77.52071005917159,5.926785009861934,21.917554240631162,6.742157984588678,0.3199405128205126,1288,36,285,12,30,405,166,338,0.191,0.7440000000000001,0.065,-0.9835,1,0,0,0,0,2,28.0,0,1,0,1,10,25,2,5,5,0,23,6,4,6,2,57,59,24,0,10,3,2,5,1,2,5,0,1,1,3,16,21,1,6,9,0,1,7,7,16,1,2,22,7,71,9,43,31,1,47,0,4,1,1,43,18,2,2,21,187,87,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086122755546328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549199909903301,0.0,0.0,0.062093122373832736,0.1348487006696108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141837345733587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847170120922479,0.08233180570724284,0.16590861243020946,0.0,0.06956049484702037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26610606440160023,0.05207820766084226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839213996777086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12249155531577745,0.05768907667730515,0.0,0.0,0.07380564979037905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04218946403304286,0.0,0.045893088677398566,0.0,0.19375368859889375,0.0,0.0,0.07995694260651524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931766942669758,0.1728928680406058,0.0,0.08722576270747229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875811583090422,0.06582346584315463,0.0,0.17100891789352973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03945123319426578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07288162019983553,0.0,0.053902429836097866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969700615170954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457549058636222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197528203155458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578006068707985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966527812463121,0.0,0.0,0.05598310589295477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633651870766374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346329618209008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16169320700129616,0.0,0.06434870132194526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657810516031237,0.06679869404104975,0.09076836663840376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903949890876234,0.17146954357152766,0.08607063656829146,0.0,0.2700483637095829,0.09250087337662408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06071527720558696,0.06490520946410673,0.21174180429287232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21459153660929453,0.0,0.0,0.06410788093508357,0.0,0.0,0.07654323066817043,0.2314853144957291,0.0,0.16447544218446294,0.0,0.0788827402036915,0.0,0.0,0.0697435972984452,0.0,0.13325732540482538,0.0952589657891698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260553416183388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822929468182643,0.2294549464124913,0.08828937783119481,0.0,0.05200148877256571
bipolarreddit,mergirla,2019/09/16,"Does ghosting/relationship abandonment trigger anyone? I've been med compliant for over ten years and genuinely don't try to fuck up anyone's life. I usually take it inward with suicide ideation and depression. Anyways... I'd say I'm about 90% stable, even more stable than people who don't have mental illness. I felt like I would make a good partner and they would see past my affliction since I am pretty responsible with it. I know it's such a common experience now, but I take ghosting so personally! And it is really triggering some underlying rage issues. I want people to be accountable and emotionally mature, so Idk it just makes me feel like such shittttttt. Like do they \*see\* my bipolar (because obviously I'm not even close to telling them). I'm very social and grounded. We have a good time. And it's good that you don't write me off. We might even see each other a few more times or keep chatting. And then you use me!? You ghost me afterwards too!? How dare you... 

This is such an isolating disorder. it's already hard fro ""normies"" to find love. So a lot of us don't want to pass our genes on. Should we not even try to date? Does ghosting make anyone else catastrophize too? I cry for days if I really like the person. Not cry for them, but more like it encourages S.I. thoughts. I want to be loved. I'm a good person. :'(",2.5154468754468766,5.020147903474907,3.6414586014586057,86.04060346060349,79.61776061776062,7.234720434720436,24.264407264407268,8.285830014693849,1.6619702845702844,1053,38,207,22,27,340,152,259,0.11900000000000001,0.664,0.217,0.9772,0,0,0,0,0,1,50.0,5,4,4,0,17,16,2,0,8,0,17,6,0,7,1,48,41,17,4,7,8,0,3,5,1,4,3,1,0,4,12,15,0,2,5,1,1,1,7,4,0,1,3,7,29,12,20,32,7,19,0,2,3,3,26,7,1,5,16,126,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923709322070856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20764674485104706,0.1014261793614269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060342924878494575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21747007459216827,0.06383987375540072,0.0,0.0852592915430232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11345025062951207,0.0,0.17325231049825868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269281205366585,0.11134957687347384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615258505470023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683047601479247,0.0,0.0,0.05005193649256917,0.07071793630321012,0.09504519864710492,0.0,0.09047437645585277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151396177676306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33210992828496577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867491992063985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331905341512733,0.0,0.08798618910795229,0.0,0.0,0.05440190017976244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991903110066333,0.24180572448065596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415711608660219,0.17868331655910585,0.0,0.19822826881386071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10995473550577124,0.0,0.09975787629470788,0.10501194565022516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09449643508037243,0.13725335694794766,0.2593007712419676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070764929317892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683009003684748,0.0,0.0,0.10627740328326403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872022064584949,0.0,0.0,0.23664483590546834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08188492627046924,0.0,0.0,0.10090706911985088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082781672665071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14885518553447633,0.0,0.08652096313062142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858640320871224,0.11544284945043383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13441439886335765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907187333600028,0.08549492478267523,0.10902266811231852,0.08167649399753574,0.17515926401466378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14063823880924226,0.0,0.0,0.06374582819657264
bipolarreddit,ConnectionEdit,2019/09/16,"Hypomanic except....permanently This can’t be normal. In fact I’ve only just pinpointed it as hypomania. I’ve had other stuff going on in my life and haven’t been paying attention to my moods like I should have been. I haven’t been keeping up with my mood diary even.

All of what I’m feeling points to it though, apart from the fact that I am extremely seriously exhausted a lot of the time. 

I guess I should go tell my doctor? Seeing the psychologist tomorrow. I feel like it’s escalating a bit.",2.950566893424038,5.121397775510207,5.152585034013609,77.51543083900229,76.34693877551021,8.845351473922905,24.15419501133788,9.444778638647367,2.3021528344671203,394,13,76,11,9,137,69,98,0.054000000000000006,0.872,0.07400000000000001,0.1849,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,5,0,12,3,0,0,3,15,20,3,0,3,1,0,2,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,8,2,0,1,3,0,1,2,3,2,0,0,4,3,10,2,11,13,3,10,0,0,1,0,1,6,0,2,4,52,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718537432150866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548716454097893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644683428637264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25181324247176395,0.17789234632377104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28303553099087986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743118986925886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213309726317644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758826847244567,0.243306804078391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21169886485796752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24397631652727625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893828494889132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353943450864241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19842823148444824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28505615791270245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21764516814385687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24465044536794384,0.0,0.1451993682832294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,blacklcherry,2019/09/16,"migration and bipolar It's been a while that I don't have any episode and I'm stable. So I may immigrate in future,  but I'm not sure that it might affect me or not. Any common experience or tip?",-0.07214285714285751,2.096357976190476,2.8574285714285743,89.53757142857144,88.28571428571428,6.217142857142857,20.304761904761907,7.554174236665415,0.8085276190476196,153,5,34,3,5,54,32,42,0.066,0.8909999999999999,0.043,-0.2127,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,1,1,11,7,7,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,3,23,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6194739872740158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4455396109441495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4831844614947673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4292775446498222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,picodegalloyum7,2019/09/16,"Can anyone trigger hypomania by doing external actions? Past couple days I've almost felt like I was slipping into blissful hypomania, and then it slipped away. 

I have been low mood, lying in bed, unproductive, very anxious and almost aggressive-feeling. (I'd never hurt anyone. I think these feelings are from starting Cymbalta a few day ago to add to my cocktail)

I could really use a good hypomania. I know it comes at a cost. (usually literally too.)

I know it's stupid to ask this but anyone have success with triggering it?

A couple times in the past forcing myself to clean made me hypomanic, I think. Unless I was already headed there.

And I can't drink coffee or beer.

I'm sorry if this is against the rules.",3.001442786069653,5.810734567164179,4.80146268656717,76.5497562189055,80.19402985074628,7.15542288557214,27.590049751243786,8.238735603445708,2.477384676616915,568,25,94,12,15,192,98,134,0.07,0.8,0.131,0.8736,0,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,2,7,1,0,6,0,11,3,1,4,1,25,23,8,0,2,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,7,7,3,0,6,3,1,2,2,3,0,0,5,2,12,3,14,17,1,18,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,4,11,61,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13918133293705887,0.0,0.3144489263752933,0.0,0.17326623366661248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17737844583250625,0.0,0.32935853886903343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14678467532745046,0.0,0.14751759116278618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352516130662046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253610072334559,0.34746075558886885,0.0,0.2025190190845057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15381161856004644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587795915855419,0.0,0.15075578370074152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169390254865376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16113922616300244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16808419305786498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17257896691574567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670794951516942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14856819693281753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12109704545481045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29977072656477044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058566814791416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17576166061053736,0.11113363703913892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012134202181388,0.0,0.0,0.0915547417927196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560763270013687,0.1729261236376937,0.12955103506327906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dvd370,2019/09/16,"can hypomania turn into full blown mania? i was diagnosed with bdII about a year and a half ago. i have experienced 2 extended hypomanic episodes, but they never went full mania, i think due to that i had so much structure in my life keeping me contained. i felt leveled out by my responsibilities and commitments.

currently i’m going on about a month of hypomania. i think. or i’m just not depressed. i’m extremely high energy, it’s just how i’ve always been. i FINALLY stopped misusing pills (go me!) and i’ve never felt better in my life. but anyways, i’m not sleeping, nonstop talking, insane energy, over confident, i don’t eat because i don’t need to (i’ve lost a huge amount of weight in the last few months, like 20% of my body weight in 7 months), i am extreeeemely impulsive even more than usual, i’m overly flirty, but i’m being stupid and making a fool out of myself because i drink too much and say really scary stuff, and then i don’t even feel bad. no embarrassment, no shame, no regret. i just can’t slow down enough to think about it, and even if i could, i’d feel nothing but better about myself. 

my life is very unstable right now, i have literally nothing to lose at this point, and i am slightly concerned that i will go full blown mania. is this even possible? or am i stressing over nothing?",3.86,5.4250124031007765,5.311542635658917,79.95777906976745,72.25581395348838,8.570852713178295,27.62868217054264,9.120678840339163,2.3073063565891467,1032,38,200,22,20,347,147,258,0.218,0.687,0.096,-0.9892,1,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,1,4,16,13,1,3,6,0,18,11,2,2,3,42,40,18,0,4,12,0,6,1,0,1,5,1,0,0,7,12,4,3,7,1,0,4,11,10,0,1,7,8,28,3,28,30,9,41,0,4,0,0,3,21,0,3,17,131,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819796980547757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217612965924413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09249496207816922,0.13505842173095764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19594819117480716,0.0,0.12304933071405368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844717997249044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954128870690861,0.11243728863996376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852021859800308,0.0,0.1133534998531932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446323643259153,0.0,0.29267116806027144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202532129286406,0.0,0.2127284109650137,0.1213518307879812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888729876871252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170429876050926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846453299180942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09029881558789553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347372291389893,0.05412051136007666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393219152282448,0.12092721979960183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394514265030093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26526571136325083,0.0,0.16286908085561624,0.08214044717404091,0.170877570463873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188832957065113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472097050966997,0.12488549531776115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096719218890811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460376506919373,0.0,0.08809507311875615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085795374061924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261532753581264,0.12689576885328505,0.0,0.1268142507646738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903912100372348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129461143899201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204946002477616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220062626877682,0.0914034113695784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26979540168640714,0.0,0.1026922706261604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133736859373019
bipolarreddit,caitj37,2019/09/16,"Loose loose situation? So this past week was the first in months that I felt relatively stable. I’m rapid cycling and have been slowly going back on lamictal after having some serious issues on the prior meds I was on and taking a break from meds for a while. I met my ex before all of this started but for a majority of the time we were together I was battling one of the most intense depressions I’ve had in years. Long story short, with the clarity of this week, and finally talking to people other than just him, I’ve realized just how toxic our relationship is and how manipulative he has been, which to an extent I believe is why my depression was worse than normal. So I decided to end things, thinking that I needed stability in my life rn and a relationship with constant arguing, paranoid/dangerous behavior almost to the point of stalking, and just a lack of trust anymore was not healthy for me. 
Before I ended it I was sure I was making the best decision possible for myself and my mental health, however now, I’m realizing that loosing a person who was so deeply incorporated into my everyday life is seriously throwing me off. This giant change in habit makes everything feel so shaken. Did I do the right thing getting out of the toxic relationship? Or should I have tried harder to fix it to prevent the potential instability that comes with a break up. I’m just tired of how fast and extreme my episodes have been for the past few months and want to be on solid ground again, wherever that is.",6.90868778280543,7.316804216783223,7.804742904154673,69.07100575894697,64.52447552447552,11.065076100370216,33.956396544631836,10.843485225782073,3.856355656108597,1210,49,210,31,17,408,170,286,0.129,0.789,0.08199999999999999,-0.9381,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,2,0,0,2,14,9,2,0,19,0,26,4,0,6,2,47,42,19,0,5,7,1,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,16,16,0,1,7,0,0,3,1,6,0,2,16,2,24,3,39,24,8,45,0,2,0,0,13,17,0,4,23,159,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948087926248616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833252107404255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174905058533753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20306359322502668,0.13443180669824786,0.1252180720065362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622382491684764,0.1027828705736004,0.0,0.12894159730194374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20553879428935148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113626777044577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723634584884448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06033134038733224,0.0,0.11456508246412027,0.1307082814028403,0.0,0.10149279627347213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06233932393400105,0.0,0.06781181479697132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683066213620628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453817807849313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16855726912835226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10559368075774367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592928998458251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650733234260628,0.0,0.12024562510077764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904787922426432,0.0,0.0,0.0884736275840597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116907419596927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08085373467348576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278072334352055,0.08272086534114433,0.10418486735153236,0.0,0.0,0.11279515103543168,0.1345143980039873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3843122949248709,0.0,0.1018978903419812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13411970833286546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445469871458029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124568737578901,0.0,0.08971314095143225,0.09590420192629588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585406643671105,0.07645488456329574,0.0,0.0,0.0695759478408162,0.13713979447540758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100986114680912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037751796631063,0.0,0.1914212276352488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076669614905779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12159639347798792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683761166305307
bipolarreddit,Isingforlove,2019/09/16,"I don't believe in God anymore because of the struggles of my illness I have schizoaffective. So yeah, it's double crap. I used to be spiritual and that's how life made sense to me. Now nothing makes sense. I can't go on anymore. I mean, I can today, but tommorow will inevitably slap me with another depressive episode. Just having insight into the fact I'm sick is horrible. The amount of suffering I've endured and am going to endure is inhumane. No loving God would do this. I'm sick of it, I can't cry because of the meds. I'd rather just scream. This is too much for anyone.",1.8421794871794857,4.131200675213677,3.542414529914532,87.0310576923077,80.7094017094017,6.293162393162394,26.84401709401709,7.492282038375204,1.6146017094017089,457,20,90,7,12,152,80,117,0.273,0.635,0.092,-0.9728,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,7,6,1,1,4,1,14,6,1,4,1,16,23,5,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,5,0,0,1,1,10,1,13,19,3,7,0,2,0,1,1,3,1,0,2,59,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22722186691775026,0.0,0.0,0.4298031435997877,0.15151702575832238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26418850465600074,0.0,0.0,0.2441391960311255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380274652315097,0.0,0.0,0.186637661218248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463036442425487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530569185258682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19557420486236915,0.205040483226898,0.14464449097645435,0.0,0.0,0.23604257941310716,0.2406974571717221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592945422228334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079231095520547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22653493420525095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20539995453556234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18715347639754412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539327356242753,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DevHoward,2019/09/16,Let's play a game Are you inspired or just hypo?,-2.40909090909091,-0.8680969090909088,0.5004545454545449,101.2706818181818,109.0,2.2,14.590909090909092,3.1291,-1.451763636363636,38,1,9,0,2,13,11,11,0.0,0.556,0.444,0.6808,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,industrialmulch,2019/09/16,"Work stress My job is super stressful. I work from home and my work phone is my cellphone. I never go a weekend without getting calls/texts. I get them late at night too. I don't have work email on my phone anymore but when I don't reply to an email it's followed up with a text or call. I get so angry when I think about work; can't let it go. Unfortunately I make more money than is typical for my area and I can't take a pay cut while I'm fixing my manic episode debt problem. I know I'm lucky for having a job with this disorder so please forgive me; I don't want to offend by complaining.  I simply have to get some downtime or it's just going to be an add more meds to cope situation.  Side note: my diagnosis is not why I hate my job, the company I work for is a freaking trainwreck. Suggestions are welcome. Should I talk to HR or my direct manager to get a reasonable accommodation? Or just try to get fired so I can ""blame"" them for getting financially screwed?",1.644996072270228,3.6054078855721374,3.6820581304006303,87.50632364493325,79.59701492537313,6.61963864886096,24.509295627127518,7.669130373188453,1.2039990049751244,759,28,163,12,19,258,118,201,0.18899999999999997,0.685,0.126,-0.9392,6,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,7,9,13,4,2,9,0,18,1,0,2,1,25,37,13,0,3,9,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,5,0,0,4,1,3,4,8,9,0,0,0,1,28,4,22,34,3,16,0,0,0,1,13,5,1,6,7,102,32,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923103550390228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276331206090048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13778842866453295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4396887224628076,0.0,0.20498015653488827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869743753578164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059562008529336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3579147074717314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06607259393911201,0.0,0.13561919692748373,0.0,0.0,0.12293835329992055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025121591533199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354303005500293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272504123249414,0.0,0.0,0.1128231515864454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197110309330146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150392242296783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12361146954802404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351380969564819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754349881545762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039434465571623,0.09663241517260236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07703541657926112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08162497970036209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07091190373665078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848449092069884,0.0,0.0,0.11589274674027705,0.0,0.5251520119403421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jsharp231,2019/09/16,Anyone Else Struggling to Quit Smoking? Days that I try to quit I have intense rage and feel like I want to peel my skin off. I've tried using CBD oil to help mellow me out during those times but it gets so bad that I get a tingling feeling in my wrist like I want to die. I can't seem to find anything to help me kick this bad habit without going rage crazy or feeling suicidal. Does anyone have any suggestions that might help?,2.9999188311688307,4.496452011363637,3.526493506493509,92.17045454545458,74.3409090909091,5.9376623376623385,23.935064935064936,6.1826913282559595,0.4651246753246752,339,10,72,2,7,106,62,88,0.28300000000000003,0.516,0.201,-0.9627,0,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,0,2,1,7,2,1,1,0,4,3,2,1,0,14,14,4,2,2,3,0,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,0,5,10,2,11,13,0,6,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,3,4,36,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166773851841305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399394901977093,0.1757996191041144,0.14119221288491646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28651714842729586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11065215667704027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17806852736424994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501470842452186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14332951268803526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602615446884322,0.12257374125896946,0.0,0.0,0.15681711585470695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17928248278846826,0.0,0.09751044567040848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3450108008545869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16764647758016746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820147437567033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3649838333296347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15619610762169522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17936821407740047,0.0,0.18767600911903007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000471923987218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23297732667305254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14818634899546673,0.0,0.0,0.2023996308790317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16539288839925492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,seramac,2019/09/16,"no one cares I feel like I'm going to snap any time now. I have a bad habit of venting to my friends who don't know how to help me, and it just turns me into this energy-sucking vampire. No one cares about my problems and they wouldn't know what to do anyway. I've been trying to push through but I can feel my fuse burning down.

I'm not currently in therapy. I'm considering going back but tbh none of the therapy actually ever helped me. I'm also not on meds right now (approved by my psychiatrist, don't worry). I don't know if it's worth it to try meds again, because my psychiatrist agrees that they were not generally helpful, and I've actually been the most stable I've been for a while despite this feeling of impending doom.

tl;dr - i'm about to explode and i can't talk to anyone about it",2.4022461273666096,4.05440118674699,4.3885025817555965,84.71807228915665,76.28915662650603,7.393459552495698,25.71256454388985,8.192908349453996,1.5668516351118758,631,23,133,11,14,216,97,166,0.096,0.7959999999999999,0.10800000000000001,0.2258,1,2,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,2,1,13,7,0,0,4,0,12,0,0,1,1,24,28,10,0,3,7,0,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,9,5,0,0,6,0,1,3,11,3,0,2,4,3,15,4,21,23,2,16,1,1,0,0,8,5,0,2,9,87,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.29962800526627736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12277040330225406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10439930216390908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734520360853947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804789874231406,0.12818332492881085,0.09358475947306627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130490557355607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13886821145032902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328739507034217,0.10967517853490984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11860966849901393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744986393998657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087049541896081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531127925992495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07500243188509255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34105365280029626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20805912263464674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14689852260610095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13110579089815622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123394078148282,0.0,0.0,0.3511284710578489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951912192239912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.208460879426598,0.1669863757841514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15590766574780593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,housesoftrees,2019/09/16,"Feeling like I can’t speak or follow conversation I’ve been in a depressive episode since April. Lately I’m finding it hard to understand what people are saying to me. I hear the words but I can’t process them and formulating a response is becoming almost impossible sometimes. I’m sleeping almost 18 hours a day so I don’t know if it has to do with that but I’m just not functioning. Everything feels so fucking hard right now but it’s like I can’t care either so I just stay in bed. Therapist brought up hospitalization but I’m not seeing the point. Been taking all my meds (depakote, Vraylar, lexapro) and it’s not helping. Pdoc doesn’t want to change doses or meds right now. When I see my pdoc I feel like I can’t even remember what’s been going on or if my symptoms are real.

Wondering if anyone else has problems understanding people and trying to make sense of words when depressed.",2.215628571428571,4.874782948571434,3.600785714285717,84.83146428571432,82.37142857142857,6.4714285714285715,25.32142857142857,7.734863291789972,1.6521714285714288,716,29,135,13,20,234,105,175,0.08900000000000001,0.8190000000000001,0.091,0.0818,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,0,10,8,1,0,5,0,15,4,1,1,1,38,37,18,0,5,16,0,5,3,0,0,2,3,1,0,7,4,0,0,9,0,0,3,9,4,0,0,4,10,14,4,11,33,2,19,0,2,2,1,6,7,1,9,11,80,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561585424651591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943477110646712,0.13105469785090573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14126200464642338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304085776710861,0.0,0.1353074701770668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248871660678816,0.0,0.22033030845688345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10684895720578046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448063295745427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495356504525832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940191809013664,0.182751984412842,0.0,0.0,0.11690366475719008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11824693274756408,0.0,0.0,0.07269186395150419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291571054005879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14415923210678933,0.0,0.08573262083220423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12596153536263693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029373121872072,0.0,0.14428341326669306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18746506884089675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537817369068898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28414921531522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17734767628126438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12091240734384785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12238866109998875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14558490312462216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14489243775738805,0.21846185959958755,0.0,0.10171589619614456,0.0,0.0,0.20384886599513016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580507260043033,0.0,0.12799826047022214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650219414038014,0.0,0.0,0.13633065857959725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329431923036119,0.09616930996801604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14850859473994749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08683970223839375,0.0,0.0,0.2663090812676219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07544220688634459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13870847983445767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tquilla,2019/09/16,"Anyone feel goosebumps or rush when hypomanic? I usually feel euphoric too and have this ball of energy that wants to escape. But recently , as I've been working out more- I feel my body wanting to do more but not necessarily feel the high in my mind. Ahhhhhhhhhh its making me figdgety and almost numb at the same time. I don't know what to do or if it's something else",2.1660616438356186,4.717796068493153,4.618065068493152,78.20600171232877,81.46575342465755,6.937671232876713,24.19349315068493,8.07648339933343,1.5974123287671231,295,11,58,6,8,103,58,73,0.037000000000000005,0.885,0.077,0.2118,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,5,3,2,1,0,20,13,9,0,3,6,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,5,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,4,6,0,8,12,3,9,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,4,4,39,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548425563327233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17795061975654428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.282689430202068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21260006505159149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5147264769456634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26889065778114324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13986520992467513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16987910556458455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25696999869085274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512856496059622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19592466460800573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14839958089087193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802931204919578,0.0,0.30021852362644835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18527726352040508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kicknrocks,2019/09/16,"The rain has arrived here in Portland! With it will come my depression, any tips or tricks out there? Hey everyone! Hope y’all are doing well and have your support systems and medications in place. So I’m Bipolar 1 and have been for a long long time now. My mania usually tries to pop up around the first sunshiny week of spring. Then maybe one more good one when the days are really long. On the opposite side, the seasonal blues hit me like a fucking semi truck every year. I’ve had to use FMLA to leave work for 10-30 days the last few years. I can’t afford these big fall downs. It’s tough to come up with the right arsenal to fight the ups and downs bipolar causes. Last year I had been consistent with medication, counseling and healthy activity but it still kicked the shit out of me. So I’m asking all you good peoples, what do you do to fight back? What better time to ask than this rainy bull shit ass Sunday that won’t be leaving the Northwest for another 5 months. And if I hear one more jerk tell me how much they love the rainy Northwest days I’m gonna puke. I know, we need the rain for it to be pretty blah blah blah. My mental health don’t give a shit about flowers and trees right now. Tell me how much you love it in February when your skin is translucent and you’ve gained 20 lbs. Ok rant over. Thanks everyone!",3.0508854342683343,4.708651535315988,3.5667404528556936,91.2689278472457,74.53903345724908,7.121392362284556,23.007941872254143,7.84624498591911,0.8750505576208174,1049,29,228,15,22,328,167,269,0.111,0.6829999999999999,0.20600000000000002,0.9897,2,0,0,0,3,0,26.0,1,6,1,4,15,21,8,0,15,1,19,13,5,4,1,28,39,18,0,3,3,0,1,4,0,3,5,1,0,0,10,17,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,10,1,4,4,3,19,11,32,29,6,49,0,1,1,4,19,18,5,3,28,130,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125181300436106,0.1098676043741268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327356080703428,0.1959043174961458,0.0,0.0,0.08056688725312999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926665598727234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076346297381635,0.0,0.18051186126125845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20271709287038625,0.0,0.09024409931224328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827896809833047,0.20023743393511206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891230876200095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686445788576158,0.0,0.10051144836015477,0.0,0.17576360774477354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137283264924112,0.11809106200718328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10406699809683273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05758258594161364,0.17081414328845415,0.0,0.22188699296291065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051188649165093636,0.0,0.0,0.2781724971967733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18913029504665727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526237273073756,0.0,0.0,0.211103194154385,0.10559036478710664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363183750033218,0.0,0.15404599901673213,0.07769066527626267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129984021809892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07263903646852986,0.0,0.10946944933358646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659566763735208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712269732672099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17895761950971478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32265562068536435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367488319263933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11889946439529205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831590727073,0.0964643948917392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219238257962993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113656553139007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049350918998887,0.1153968360556816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404562426725237,0.0,0.09420692117159314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627875406211744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20241846066512767
bipolarreddit,beebop19,2019/09/16,"Length of episodes Does anyone else have really long manic episodes? I know the diagnostic criteria is that they have to last over a week, but mine typically last 1-4 months. Is that common? Because they last so long, I have plenty of time to completely destroy whatever life I've managed to build up beforehand lol. But anyway, how long do y'all's episodes usually last?",4.661739130434783,7.020528144927539,5.141376811594203,78.6842391304348,71.89855072463767,9.237681159420287,30.34057971014493,9.725611199111238,3.22316231884058,298,13,53,8,6,95,51,69,0.083,0.8640000000000001,0.053,-0.4641,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,2,0,3,1,1,0,2,1,6,1,0,1,0,4,7,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,0,7,7,0,14,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,12,28,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366102823021467,0.2001841012051313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190983852191142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20484627997878832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17097340290822488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16321019248984422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737262864383028,0.6370246585668098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379986753532683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5187004326398452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15594593545745658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12516180605264893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11392434972554635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151772349550797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15671751200504866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Gountark,2019/09/16,"Moderatly cycling? Recently, I cycle a lot between light hypo and minor depression. Last week and weekend I was productive, full of project, inspire and confident. I engage in probably too much project and been great at my job. But it didn't go too far. I was sleeping my 8 hours and not talking fast and cognitively coherent. 

Since friday evening, I'm down. Low energy, hard to do basic house core. Not able to work on all the project I got engagement in it. Making a huge spaghetti sauce was my biggest achievement. There was a festival in my village. People were watching a homemade car race in front of my house. I was so anxious and had panic attack. not able to leave my house, even if I need to. 

I feel it below an episode treeshold, but still painful. My lamictal got increase to 250mg. I slowly quit seroquel with almost a 2 month taper. Haven't take it for a 3 weeks except last night because I feel the desire to knock me down.

Is it happening to you to have those light episode in rapid cycling? I'm more use to long depression and quick hypo, and sometimes mania (sometime psychotic), but short because I seek treatment fast.

I guess it's between a long rant and seeking advice, to help me return to a baseline. Tired of those rapid cycling, even if they aren't that bad.

.... rapid light hypo and minor depression. On lamictal 250mg. Usually long depression and short hypo or short manic with sometime psychotic features. Any advice to break those rapid cycling. Going see my doc next week.",3.4838357905439743,6.088659690391463,4.1972381799694976,82.8451912811388,76.65124555160142,6.8612608032536855,29.608668022369088,7.957251820313856,2.3215835282155566,1187,55,206,20,28,378,161,281,0.127,0.768,0.105,-0.889,2,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,1,1,3,9,14,1,1,11,0,14,3,1,2,1,35,29,19,0,4,10,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,10,14,0,0,3,1,0,5,6,9,0,0,11,8,24,5,32,18,6,45,0,5,2,0,4,19,0,6,20,126,34,6,0.2023665199937384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19775022123579367,0.0,0.0,0.10132041899523997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688080865197012,0.0,0.0,0.11430828312655418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11511056553612715,0.0,0.0,0.08448379566979221,0.12336075229005268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3485959742800807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20049176683763875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10232259294242073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500955685072485,0.0,0.1618509925724125,0.11155490135483548,0.11146476838815024,0.0,0.08947602265238368,0.0,0.09064032653949816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06782100632431917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09964512928130803,0.35025569073555995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004087727137492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649557232945246,0.0,0.10713846262728648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686320031371749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602238930171943,0.0,0.0,0.06754061174880058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080763512784892,0.0,0.07438133839280937,0.07502610519924642,0.0,0.0,0.1076095449057277,0.09495363516505118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10766612258693216,0.11871675445506845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014773232125918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909266784420116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076208519003282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990626240746857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062995797667112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369983826836827,0.0,0.10125633333714568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002184941584874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080508213724502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760772191055685,0.08132727163171535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11629527270755592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738984942649834,0.11143906582325314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434893236679932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366261836453115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,loquacia98,2019/10/24,Abilify and health So I've been on 2mg and now 2.5mg of abilify for about 4/5 months. I think it's helping because when I go off it I become pretty depressed. But besides that I feel like it isn't doing *that* much except negatively affecting my health. It has made my triglycerides shooooot the fuck up. The normal range is around 150 and mine are at 386. Like way too high. Which puts me at risk for pancreatitis. I'm just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience.,1.4179122807017528,4.043152536842103,3.023815789473684,87.48379385964914,86.78947368421049,6.535087719298246,22.653508771929822,7.793537801064563,1.3735087719298238,381,14,76,8,12,125,74,95,0.092,0.8,0.10800000000000001,0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,1,1,3,0,8,3,0,2,0,14,15,7,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,7,4,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,3,2,8,2,11,12,1,13,0,1,0,1,1,7,1,2,5,49,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14709024440611407,0.2155410842893657,0.0,0.18726708851187812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12823493440638145,0.23232868527169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811847814896124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17573074806919473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057747410371366,0.0,0.0,0.10636552348035774,0.15028290294938476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19447660035275507,0.0,0.0,0.11955376977746385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4472106764036208,0.0,0.0,0.1410014471527367,0.22225936962545825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055448341644128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19904993937181734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16790921864756975,0.0,0.15464052987345314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20611043620665076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21401413384146606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21147226151496928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13479169809581726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16697583973198335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22812899219882485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,YenkoS10,2019/10/24,"Question about seroquel Does seroquel actually help with mood and depression and what not or is it just a sleep aid? Currently on klonopin, seroquel, clonidine. Diagnosed with unspecified mood disorder. Wondering if the seroquel is really worth taking or not as i feel sometimes it makes my mornings rough getting out of bed. I take the klonopin during day and seroquel and clonidine at night.",8.077727272727273,10.555192530303033,6.900424242424244,69.1006363636364,63.09090909090909,10.128484848484847,43.5030303030303,10.355215969177356,5.378252121212124,321,20,45,8,5,97,49,66,0.091,0.8390000000000001,0.07,-0.3626,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,2,2,1,1,0,17,8,8,0,1,6,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,7,0,0,3,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,8,8,0,6,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,5,3,29,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.25534133828556216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16874834177588746,0.0,0.2253664241880642,0.26557827212420604,0.0,0.0,0.2998837645127612,0.0,0.22897946366121236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13230260006707084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13670597387595051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17538444282626686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17465934526337204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455491491546855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931178475903508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16762538929045045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618478634782233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587873392910061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39346985271191776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28375791168985964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bitwoways,2019/10/24,"Feeling Depressed I got an exam back on Monday and I got a 29%. The exam was in a class for my major, and I've been feeling down since. 

I've been taking my medications but I really don't feel great right now. I have no motivation and I'm starting to think I shouldn't pursue the major I've chosen. 

We have a partial retake for the exam this coming Monday and I'm struggling to study because I get sad and can't focus. 

I know it's only one exam, but it's taken a toll on my mental health. I'm trying to think positive. I know failure doesn't define a person, but it's killed my confidence and self esteem.",0.9475849731663716,2.9593067519379868,3.830387596899225,85.27470483005371,82.25581395348838,5.519618366129994,19.22540250447227,6.67199483983844,0.3325105545617175,477,12,95,5,13,170,74,129,0.21100000000000002,0.6779999999999999,0.111,-0.9467,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,1,2,5,1,1,9,0,9,2,0,1,0,20,26,9,1,1,3,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,4,8,0,0,8,0,0,1,5,4,0,1,6,3,13,1,9,19,2,11,0,2,0,0,3,5,0,0,5,57,17,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15908756945005026,0.0,0.1261197537673836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782195778194387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781962156696823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138332083869496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809279728290158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3309416804178372,0.2280997226303573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21991706336211508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288959085999296,0.0,0.2274054255396111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20842243759304752,0.2084989884063365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14019571917204904,0.1573510767614028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18065055948469905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325406396686199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17668507306803868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158340094725731,0.0,0.0,0.17114362221067045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14643958342263247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21628897259461247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555574194025936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651367328634279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14046643348472435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,glad_reaper,2019/10/24,"College makes me want to kill myself But I dont want to drop out. I used to love school. I even made it through jr college with 2 degrees. But the school im at now? I wish I just hated it but I literally feel like killing myself when I think about going.

Im a senior, transferred on ADT (associates degree for transfer - so I did lower division while simultaneously getting degrees) so im almost done. Idk what to do anymore because I dont feel like I can keep going. Advice?",0.5135576923076925,2.9770077916666686,2.9004166666666684,87.4208653846154,90.875,4.620512820512821,23.009615384615394,6.297961479604792,0.7059576923076931,372,15,73,4,13,127,64,96,0.166,0.684,0.15,-0.6861,1,0,0,0,0,2,12.0,0,0,0,0,7,6,3,0,2,0,6,1,0,3,0,17,21,7,2,3,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,3,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,3,2,13,3,11,18,0,10,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,6,45,16,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14874504845858905,0.0,0.0,0.15242370439951355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15095872514810085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279029354608163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15577121426442087,0.3567952388346455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053813471508356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393134784391296,0.21748823351738328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952729124889417,0.0,0.17301727401420935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150283135368404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4932626280683119,0.0,0.0,0.13529778895814812,0.3368119254285657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14873143256388185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738211587101726,0.14403175226891646,0.10160627386119617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3081042019878125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975347419311604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13146693142996546,0.0,0.0,0.17956349268742688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750424588627517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,divvd,2019/10/24,Klonopin I need it to live and sleep but I've been out for a month. Thoughts and positive vibes appreciated. Had my intake at the behavioral health clinic so I'll see my therapist soon hopefully. Waiting for a call,1.86056910569106,4.679453146341466,3.1920731707317067,84.34794715447156,90.70731707317074,7.611382113821138,26.34552845528455,8.344100000000001,2.526069918699186,173,8,33,5,6,56,35,41,0.0,0.7190000000000001,0.281,0.9313,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,2,3,1,0,0,8,7,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,3,1,5,4,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,2,19,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34538683471502984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3595395253249169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3359544532333417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2986772857111035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699846133178592,0.0,0.0,0.250805014572778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695381525088763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3384901307453711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3927295063672431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685294253577809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Janny787,2019/10/24,Lithium Carbonate I’ve been on 1200mg of lithium carbonate for nearly a year. I’m starting to wonder if I may grow tolerant because of how much I take. Any thoughts?,3.0527272727272714,5.207024575757579,4.790909090909089,80.30636363636367,75.96969696969697,8.036363636363637,35.24242424242424,8.841846274778883,3.489351515151516,133,8,24,3,3,45,27,33,0.0,0.925,0.075,0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,5,7,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,6,4,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,2,14,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3149607786373634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823345376959526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3404716718809024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3278229686546473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34823436282005193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3676927471413785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5022710374957978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982561579533093
bipolarreddit,dudnfosn,2019/10/24,Bipolar and Weed So I have so many questions with weed and bipolar and want to hear expectations. So can an occasional smoke really set off a manic episode? What are the downsides of smoking and being bipolar? I used to be a heavy smoker and am now on 1000mg of depakote. I’m just wondering what your experiences and what your doctors have said about weed and bipolar. I know alcohol doesn’t mix well with bipolar but I’m in college and weed used to help with anxiety and things such as that. Any info/insight would help.,3.112871287128712,5.604195188118816,4.004445544554454,84.34191584158418,77.31683168316832,6.812277227722772,28.911881188118812,7.908726449838941,2.0693635643564363,418,19,78,7,10,134,67,101,0.021,0.8759999999999999,0.10300000000000001,0.797,0,0,3,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,0,8,1,0,0,4,0,9,7,0,2,0,22,18,14,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,5,12,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,2,5,1,13,14,0,5,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,2,1,53,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25602486214026604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16291415442478765,0.0,0.18326852599084129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24520754675368694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343430409374337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27001004887900754,0.0,0.32115416825029924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166006453332596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24288390199294616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26837049234591115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534731120038223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278836078853845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15915804033127068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4138189025370188,0.0,0.0,0.14130315257112658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21540000536819112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598007971649765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17018191953124345,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,OkayAnotherAccount,2019/10/24,"Disclosing to work I'm thinking of adding this to the other section of my yearly self appraisal:

I have a health condition that occasionally affects my energy and focus. This is largely under
control and will not significantly affect my work, but I occasionally do I have off weeks where I
might take more breaks or need to use a sick day. I also do need to go to brief monthly doctors’
appointments during business hours. Again, this will not affect my work significantly or often,
and if it does affect my performance I will make it up as soon as I feel better.

Thoughts? It's a pretty liberal, young company. I think it'd be good to explain why I'm ""off"" some weeks. I think my boss would be cool about it, but you never know.",5.759706349206351,6.530542478571429,6.7438095238095235,74.41896825396827,67.07142857142857,9.365079365079367,30.555555555555557,9.444778638647367,2.7158888888888884,577,21,106,11,9,193,89,140,0.032,0.85,0.11800000000000001,0.8983,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,6,6,3,0,0,4,1,13,3,0,8,1,32,28,11,0,4,7,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,10,3,0,1,7,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,2,16,3,15,19,3,19,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,6,10,76,26,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14496375164946582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603210152582427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033128016103116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690592659609522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855403394863279,0.1586330039695595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09165694838326173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030214805226896,0.15204298118866535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19268445518034685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17851714286247095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996227619977925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12100096736831735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923017400838734,0.0,0.0,0.14469017857554334,0.0,0.0,0.2688228925361245,0.13980871891381974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844195541652003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18910701101957725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362945473562238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34845677369722194,0.0,0.14391031411135322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15656145310181732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908121296192605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16357046053623894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3959061600215548,0.0,0.0,0.1287709597126707,0.0,0.0,0.11673370690720344
bipolarreddit,takdeer,2019/10/24,"Am I bipolar? Just suddenly started feeling highs and lows constantly for the first time. I usually feel numb all the time but for a past few weeks I have been feeling quite elated at sudden times and then depressed as fuck in other times. And this has been consistent, like I am at home and watching Cosmos and crying at the beauty of the universe and feeling enlightened and shit but when next day I have to be in college I just feel shit for even existing. Before these few weeks, I had basically confined myself to a room and didn't really talk to anyone or move out. But now since I have been attending university regularly, I am feeling these bouts of sudden highs of happiness and joy and then a depressing feeling where I just want to cease existing. Is it possible to acquire such ""bipolarness"" suddenly? As far as I remember I wasn't like this in my childhood. I don't really know anything about mental health and psychology and don't really have anyone to talk to, so would be really grateful if anyone of you can tell something about this.",7.623181818181816,7.589369297979799,7.878484848484849,70.63772727272728,63.09090909090909,11.644444444444444,35.67676767676768,11.20814326018867,4.166064646464647,843,35,146,22,11,276,111,198,0.128,0.6709999999999999,0.201,0.945,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,3,11,11,3,0,7,0,21,7,2,0,1,35,32,24,0,3,8,0,7,2,0,1,4,0,2,0,7,13,0,1,10,0,0,2,4,7,0,1,6,8,16,4,26,23,3,37,0,3,1,1,4,13,3,2,24,109,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526179303264127,0.0,0.0991018876406542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247525958841083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013976011562606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322843760223943,0.07766602260949186,0.0,0.20744872052913516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795414817836781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4262436972106804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10243589684687936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133363846661697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128197722162123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12800920952654496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544773433802819,0.1207989870210712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661840157383348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11766996242238292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12136298241229253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799578238516127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12807642115499507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11496204224319452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576434490216185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12808987869171934,0.0,0.0,0.30859674560469696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364213168747935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24723498523384674,0.09961919034278824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09271126889186868,0.0,0.0,0.0852394763314078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935907433121361,0.10525927893347968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808898711132884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13263430060968964,0.0,0.07103148632649024,0.0,0.19319996934080472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554851374681544,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,scenr0,2019/10/24,"And the downward swing begins... F, 29, BP2

So this year has been straight up hell starting in January and I’ve done very well despite losing a good job, losing more jobs, losing car to repo, losing house I lived, losing pets due to having to move, losing health insurance, credit is nonexistent, being denied for unemployment insurance, and even went off meds in June... But! The bells of my depressive states have come calling and I can feel myself getting sick. Terrible thoughts, accusations, being easily manipulated by words and thoughts of others... I just want to shut everyone out and stay in my room I’m renting ... 

I very much still have a will to live which is good, but I’m afraid like most downward spirals, that choice will no longer be mine to decide. Tunnel vision is closing in and I’m upset and low. 

I’m broke, started a graveyard job while also going to school full time and working another two part time jobs. I think I’ve finally strung myself out.  I don’t think I can handle the graveyard job and I’m afraid to admit it because it’s a good source of income. 


I’m not at the point of wanting to go yet and I’m scared I might reach that place or become unaware of reaching that place again. I love my SO and my parrot too much but I also feel like wasted space and a burden on everyone. It’s.... uncomfortable. 

I have so much debt. So much. And no way to pay it. The money I get from my jobs just barely covers the room my SO and I rent and bills. 

I feel useless, pointless, unmotivated, and simply don’t want to exist anymore. People won’t stop looking at me. I can’t even disappear in a jacket in front of a teacher like I used to be able to do in my younger years of school. 

I got denied MediCal because I’m a student and haven’t seen a doctor in 8 months. Haven’t taken meds in 4 months. Was doing fine.... now I probably need help. Don’t know where to begin...",2.1240273160861416,4.367034927807488,3.6543011995953196,86.86671412053767,79.40106951871657,6.075328804740571,22.407573348749814,7.2228458231874715,0.8665195259430556,1469,46,289,19,37,485,203,374,0.204,0.6809999999999999,0.115,-0.9897,12,0,0,0,0,0,61.0,0,0,0,7,18,27,1,4,15,0,29,5,0,2,0,49,66,30,0,4,7,0,3,3,0,4,4,0,5,0,10,22,0,1,10,0,7,8,10,17,1,1,9,5,29,10,40,49,8,60,1,10,2,1,4,30,1,3,22,176,39,14,0.07507859379731892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12008064866913425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872645181967458,0.0,0.0,0.07445779082697535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153442784906436,0.08291840822359874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766636385570774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467356064337228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06466508282388961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684612210397264,0.0,0.0768314681856607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991774062400942,0.0,0.0,0.1434816275915833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138859786497804,0.053636162410217014,0.0,0.08224492969229051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845093300883119,0.0,0.08533779008377873,0.1889170871923056,0.06004721001978505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980503437322578,0.0,0.0,0.05032359883350774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663061699714668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4470235171606144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04126123167615254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11003882568934,0.0,0.13259154765326994,0.0,0.06304710976271691,0.5039624525919729,0.0,0.0,0.06776136216608862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16679078490281932,0.07563378458212916,0.0,0.07964652344715949,0.0,0.0,0.11985403455490755,0.07979666346394805,0.22076562037900144,0.05566982598330426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130280072694107,0.0,0.052050043662497485,0.0,0.15688230170815345,0.0,0.07097353868458697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809474224846486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07516676995770114,0.15196709035542166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628203023428777,0.08002379146317265,0.05995786198951216,0.06276906621144918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621466272914833,0.0,0.11920803422952687,0.08755786361854886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07334087679362378,0.0,0.0,0.06484379933305119,0.0,0.1238954054984232,0.13284989952284734,0.059593893135424625,0.0,0.0,0.06750467240042843,0.06959860863035884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05465811046618465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669630571416876
bipolarreddit,Dharmama,2019/10/24,"Why does this always have to happen? Warning: rant ahead....

I've tried, BipolarReddit. I've tried meds, exercise, diet, abstaining from drugs and alcohol. Hell, I've even been trying ketamine therapy to get through the numbness that these medications induce.

Yet no matter what I do, or what medicines I take, once or twice a year, I get into a debilitating depression that leaves me a crying, suicidal mess that can't function. This cost me my last job, and now I'm on leave at a new one where I don't qualify for FMLA and will in all likelihood lose this one, too... which will leave me and my wife without health insurance and in dire financial straits.

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist today. She will likely throw more antipsychotics/mood stabilizers at me. I've been on 14 different ones over the past few years. Most have (predictably) made me fat and lethargic, others lead to even worse instability or horribly deleterious effects on my cognition -- which will make it even harder to work. While I recognize the black and white thinking here, in my own experience in 20 years dealing with this illness, I've been left with two options: moderate stability with a significantly reduced quality of life because of the medicine that still doesn't save me from occasional severe episodes, or no medicine and instability that leads to dangerous behavior (but hey, at least I'm not at 40 BMI because I've been eating a tub of ice cream every night after Seroquel).

I admire you all so much for fighting through this. Nobody should have to endure what we go though on a daily basis. I just don't know if I have that much fight left in me.",8.516274834437084,8.234320453642383,8.181846026490067,70.02124586092715,61.35099337748346,11.788410596026493,37.41804635761589,11.20814326018867,4.235039072847681,1315,56,231,32,16,420,186,302,0.2,0.787,0.013000000000000001,-0.9949,2,0,2,0,3,0,46.0,1,1,0,6,12,11,4,0,12,0,19,11,1,6,2,39,30,17,1,2,9,1,0,1,0,5,9,0,0,0,19,14,4,1,4,1,1,4,8,8,0,5,5,3,24,3,37,20,9,36,1,2,3,0,8,18,1,7,15,155,43,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12647360767070914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847158118954773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442826509420317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12999518554122086,0.0,0.12200733477162926,0.10192940287562197,0.0,0.0,0.12364415722172112,0.0,0.0,0.10356351921478313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372413189292072,0.12109532484361238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344950324505992,0.0,0.09970981563686716,0.0,0.0,0.11576301446710402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365957650442234,0.0,0.0672575492530818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465109448814697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257940011038882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174380314324969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06503869666597223,0.0964660501949347,0.0,0.3759272163655208,0.257161924712181,0.0,0.0835897760906957,0.057816837700986765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323965207115257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197983238874454,0.07899545299829752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145336221559695,0.11921899985306683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17399272434229854,0.0,0.0,0.1142972482770071,0.0,0.11105770631151404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260323605291145,0.24057860971774736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297261597296873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13369488924121495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945095684317616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12944898713323788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897986308514362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13533653051710132,0.0,0.0,0.07582997416527203,0.11627225261448247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217615233619732,0.0,0.0,0.2410431607993264,0.0,0.11560476615034786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10678693656943138,0.0,0.0,0.11407926875056965,0.0,0.08615574772092859,0.0,0.12060251517864044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286287190391392
bipolarreddit,jasbestrong,2019/10/24,So here I am thinking I am BPII then find out from reading my file that im BPI I just want to know who has BP I and how have you managed it?,-0.9406862745098046,0.09279061764706142,1.671176470588236,103.26696078431374,84.0,4.533333333333334,20.15686274509804,3.1291,-0.8171254901960783,107,3,31,0,3,37,29,34,0.0,0.956,0.044000000000000004,0.0772,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,8,7,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,3,7,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,22,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4534244017519477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5358707549533498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726423768746764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4962320512430658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3178794387738985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2926113359691195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,madisonvonbulow,2019/10/24,"Traveling I manically arranged a trip with my boyfriend to Miami for a weekend in November.  I haven’t been in a plane in 13 years and I am deathly afraid of traveling. I am currently in the haze of a bad depression and right now the thought of getting in a plane to go to Florida is really freaking me out. I normally don’t have the anxiety that I’m going through now.

Is this a bipolar thing? Does anyone else fear travel and the effects it can cause on your mental health? 😭",3.972767857142857,5.193703479166668,5.737738095238093,78.35250000000002,71.5,10.06904761904762,33.50595238095238,10.290406445055957,3.6815702380952384,378,19,74,11,7,130,66,96,0.17,0.83,0.0,-0.9388,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,2,5,0,2,10,0,9,2,0,2,0,9,14,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,4,0,6,2,5,0,0,2,0,8,0,16,12,0,19,0,1,0,0,1,8,0,0,5,52,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19990404379140053,0.0,0.0,0.18271641246573986,0.26774646965432275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181857827046812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684408546821879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.225068857563166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22867712649444866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21829382347391987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2940502362726706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13652547167649354,0.0,0.29702086632178004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777639358026995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633424562207124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25603166020616497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16740406208291225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22316022478054048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17360501860382632,0.0,0.0,0.20745365895115211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16827726886964134
bipolarreddit,HoneyChancellorship,2019/10/24,"Intense and odd dreams during high moods I noticed that my dreams become very intense and odd  when I’m mostly feeling energetic and I wonder if this is tied to some bipolar symptoms.  This week I been having these intense dreams almost everyday but last night was the weirdest one. I dreamed that I had spiders in my brain. 

I’m wondering what other people’s experience is with mood changes and dreams.",3.43057057057057,6.503870405405407,3.7220720720720735,83.0218768768769,81.43243243243242,5.451051051051049,28.492492492492488,6.937597516519254,1.8327285285285275,326,15,53,4,9,101,54,74,0.075,0.713,0.212,0.7501,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,6,3,1,0,0,13,11,7,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,7,0,3,8,2,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,6,5,34,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373013631162079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617259290791268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26454819312800937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25069354942313343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23181203481602056,0.0,0.0,0.1198242714726735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25038251279103857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931704308953247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223897934982318,0.0,0.0,0.26980344259329364,0.0,0.0,0.16058386554808765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642921798431145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463130875673072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195533421392195,0.0,0.0,0.19009116156330694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5139896725477473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,camelguac,2019/10/24,Lamotrigine I was prescribed a low dose of lamotrigine and to be honest the side affect of Stevens Johnson’s syndrome scares me. Has anyone else backed out on this or am I thinking into it too much?,7.90157894736842,7.3992381052631595,7.967368421052632,71.78157894736844,62.68421052631579,9.705263157894738,37.42105263157895,8.841846274778883,3.299957894736842,160,7,28,2,2,52,35,38,0.11599999999999999,0.7709999999999999,0.113,-0.0258,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,4,1,0,1,0,6,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,1,6,3,1,6,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,1,1,22,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31977764226131394,0.4685913741104335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35166060023865403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3820427691671454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3361921400065172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.457869793422976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29304031404333986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,imastrudel,2019/10/24,Friend I just want a friend. Someone I can talk to without feeling like such a fucking burden,2.6950000000000003,5.411099611111113,2.9977777777777814,89.60000000000002,80.66666666666667,3.6,31.222222222222207,3.1291,1.150355555555556,75,4,13,0,2,23,15,18,0.298,0.358,0.344,0.2563,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,2,3,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19265661732760686,0.2722028226537913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5887546661104437,0.3522495141976492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861485336768565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3228394510031328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062517592349638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247371674531733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3672924609033771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,edsonholiday,2019/10/24,"DAE experience extreme pain during depression episodes? When I’m depressed, I get unbearable physical pain all over my body. When I walk, I want to double over and walk like I have a wound to the abdomen. It was so bad that before I was diagnosed, I got tons of blood work and was in the drs office all the time because I was concerned I had an autoimmune disease or something seriously wrong with me. Once I got the right meds I was perfectly fine. Now if I skip a day of meds it shows up again. I don’t see people on depression boards mention it. Was wondering if it was more common in people with bipolar.",4.91,5.746114666666667,5.796666666666668,80.22000000000001,69.0,9.333333333333334,31.66666666666667,9.516144504307137,2.8456666666666672,480,20,94,10,8,158,80,120,0.207,0.7170000000000001,0.076,-0.9571,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,5,11,0,0,7,0,10,9,3,0,3,12,17,8,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,8,0,0,10,1,14,3,12,7,5,16,0,3,1,0,1,7,0,4,8,63,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14481382555206376,0.10572644328106676,0.0,0.14758331025336202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19265097159847253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185342449444798,0.0,0.4481467381465912,0.17603633253986448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696560425413714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061440939776126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27742907640441433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473324508488468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3853019431969451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847062433364069,0.0,0.0,0.36910138732665815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404807073524015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14811545216614688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382079554562301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13352135935841952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10113333003995513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229846624819287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18808655430852475,0.1262652261416287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18962767154386395,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,drippingingoldd,2019/10/24,"Eating disorders Does anyone else struggle with them along with being bipolar? I don't struggle with it so much during depressive episodes, but mania is another story. It's so much easier to ride that feeling of hunger when manic. I love getting obsessive about the numbers, forcing myself to work out beyond my normal capabilities, and just pushing my weight down as fast as possible. It's so goddamn addictive. I'm already a healthy weight and don't need to diet, but the feeling of control and power is so fucking satisifying. My boyfriend is hyper-aware of ED behaviors because of my past struggles so thankfully I have a safety net. However, running on coffee energy drinks, a day of work, a small meal a day on top of running my usual 5k+whatever workout, my body is exhausted but my mind just won't quit. 

Just wanted to know if anyone else struggles with this or similar feelings.",7.4579629629629665,8.324014919753086,7.772444444444449,68.19200000000001,63.382716049382715,10.430617283950617,39.03950617283951,10.355215969177356,4.5270350617283945,715,37,108,16,10,234,106,162,0.13699999999999998,0.6970000000000001,0.16699999999999998,0.8185,2,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,6,12,10,1,5,7,0,9,13,1,1,0,26,20,16,0,4,8,0,5,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,9,7,1,4,2,0,4,3,8,0,0,0,5,12,2,23,18,2,17,0,1,0,2,2,7,1,2,6,75,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13811186329433114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398066415403493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284653392148485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17717055118970207,0.2596197515461169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722964259895375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14072511304800134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420947014761566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16341039628488513,0.0,0.10911875132612817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14519883360843697,0.0,0.11086812618186503,0.0,0.0,0.1241089239703895,0.0,0.1296364961000584,0.2116681063526994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19217629114714616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171237651317847,0.06619080558210345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06962604673285151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143435514937516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279217694480693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862648880934788,0.09393975283979412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413025668738488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12094087124260833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428250389064519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13475144686074494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5297796594936486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166400285252674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13953221045305034,0.0,0.07472561964244065,0.0,0.0,0.3085509541728397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844650777037974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,brooklxn,2019/10/24,"vegan at a psychiatric hospital? this is random, but i was wondering if anyone that’s vegan has ever been admitted on here? what food options did you get?
my mental health has been declining so i’m curious as to if i were admitted what i’d be able to eat lol",0.5736388140161708,3.0342619433962237,4.2836118598382775,77.8367924528302,89.9433962264151,9.821024258760108,22.66576819407009,9.606745405546679,3.2283013477088955,205,8,39,9,7,76,43,53,0.0,0.799,0.201,0.8692,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,9,3,0,0,1,9,14,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,4,0,5,8,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,5,1,29,8,0,0.3448107482051521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410996923942689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3528274775115293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119010625394459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4169465254176169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801493843983885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3665177012645717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3474881338372928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37393254778673135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,floral_fire,2019/10/24,"Am I bipolar? I am 33 I have been seeing therapists and psychiatrists and been on several meds since I was in elementary school. My newest psychologist suggested I may be bipolar. It’s starting to make sense. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression but never had much relief despite trying everything I can think of; meds, diet, sleep, yoga, meditation, vitamins, etc. I thought I had a high energy personality and had sad episodes but it’s getting extreme. It’s a struggle to get out of bed lately and I want to cry a lot. I’ve been so tired. I can’t think straight. I know that some people have it way worse than me so I am trying not to sound like a crybaby but is this bipolar? Have I been misdiagnosed all these years and that’s why I’ve had no relief? If you are bipolar how did you find out? What are the symptoms you’ve experienced that were key indicators? what makes it better?",2.9066125760649086,5.3009801954023015,4.745442866801894,79.27031440162273,77.50574712643677,8.232048681541583,27.47667342799189,9.007467420416297,2.5559963488843813,710,30,134,18,17,241,109,174,0.207,0.736,0.057,-0.9818,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,2,0,1,3,7,0,1,5,0,25,10,1,3,2,28,36,13,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,1,8,1,1,1,12,9,1,0,5,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,13,3,17,4,12,21,5,12,0,2,1,0,4,6,0,4,6,92,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345219632569465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14272395564235324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772639555398799,0.0,0.0,0.13899291011682394,0.16379324044977314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17997689494888688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450343409024978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14749473807506766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686245962132917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050260143810358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868802783863748,0.0,0.18203915414070668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884016092606992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13719610215167696,0.0,0.0,0.21543946277460535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.358504707052622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862992626867608,0.0,0.12446311772994045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11187779748247006,0.14090729639037286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633211248488731,0.12859577652804954,0.0,0.0,0.18230894324043231,0.0,0.1334918926846916,0.0,0.16149254124181384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422276157613187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16870523099564294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16773145109190069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18736997106600728,0.0,0.20680644614735605,0.0,0.12811451608275595,0.0,0.18547796967346095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191274185077415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518374439003273,0.12809275532271644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14561673724663607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644559281147008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392085142271812
bipolarreddit,FrannyCaulfield,2019/04/20,"Lamictal withdrawal severity change over time? Hi, so three times in the past week and a half I’ve missed my Lamictal dose. Last Wednesday and Thursday night I threw up all my meds because of Latuda nausea. Last night I forgot to pick up my Lamictal refill from the pharmacy so went without it.

Normally I can’t go more than four hours past taking my nightly Lamictal dose of 400 mg without horrible and intense withdrawal. It puts me in a severe mixed episode with suicidal ideation and planning. Every time I throw up my meds or miss a dose I prepare for some of the worse hours of my life until I can take my dose again.

I’ve been on it since 2006, and have been at this high dose for probably at least 8 years. 

The weird thing is... none of the withdrawal symptoms happened these last three times. Maybe I’m just numbed our from my other meds (Latuda 120 mg, Seroquel XR 300 mg, Lithium 1,200 mg). Or could this be a sign that it’s not even working in my system anymore, so I wouldn’t miss it? Anyone know if those other drugs lower Lamictal doses? This is such a jarring change that I wonder if it has larger implications.

Thanks!",4.6703636363636365,6.0478765363636375,5.005227272727275,83.66784090909091,70.0,8.227272727272727,28.75,8.660442795831766,2.132272727272728,898,33,172,15,16,284,135,220,0.10800000000000001,0.851,0.042,-0.9247,1,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,1,0,0,2,7,6,0,0,10,0,11,10,0,1,1,24,25,13,1,5,8,0,0,0,0,1,10,0,0,0,16,6,0,1,2,0,0,5,6,5,0,4,5,0,19,1,25,17,5,37,0,3,0,0,2,11,0,6,20,107,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11483445874395315,0.08096439452593689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07058567251149621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449849708829925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924504166432526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342818520415857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647946332222,0.0,0.09755967674246926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580720986906771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239440203351688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223405084551864,0.0,0.0,0.22806341019317106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363620453970309,0.2831575792271621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178724915191192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163285353009273,0.0,0.38585611985794976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3259885857267188,0.11345148510919575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22107295705396493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12484326145726896,0.0,0.0,0.11640284970441166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616237948728189,0.0,0.0957842630431598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665755380946914,0.0,0.0,0.12035212857417148,0.1741222090067949,0.0,0.0,0.10660563195883076,0.0,0.0,0.07692699866553224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700767714362597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928812843167708,0.0,0.0,0.10734025899280296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22323853496741933,0.12557138511643046,0.08429788826178214,0.0,0.11800184685936288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456619250918935
bipolarreddit,coconutfi,2019/04/20,"Short episodes triggered by something trivial? I know that’s a symptom of BPD and there’s a chance of comorbidity of BP and BPD, but I really don’t think I reflect the symptoms of BPD.  No doctors have suggested it and I’ve read through the detailed description and nothing matches.  The one thing that is similar is I’ve had mood swings that may last the span of a few days (elevated or mixed for a day/half a day and then sometimes depressed the three to four days following).  This happens maybe 5-10 times a year for me.

Most of my high and low episodes will last one to three months, but I do have these so called mild “blips”.  Most are relatively mild and controllable, but some are worse than others.

I write this because something trivial happened the other day and then I started to feel the hypomania coursing through my veins.  Racing thoughts, impatience, the need to get rid of the intense energy.  I felt the need to scream and I don’t know how to describe it, but you know when you’re just looking around you having those racing thoughts and you just feel a little crazy and a little scared?

Does anyone else experience this?",4.6787745098039215,6.533275842592598,4.552331154684096,85.05519607843138,70.66666666666667,7.489760348583879,30.76143790849673,8.124751697461798,2.136784640522876,906,39,173,13,17,278,126,216,0.141,0.833,0.026000000000000002,-0.9764,0,0,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,3,0,1,7,5,0,1,18,0,13,4,1,3,0,39,30,21,0,2,7,0,3,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,13,12,0,1,10,1,0,1,3,4,0,5,4,5,14,0,20,24,4,21,0,2,1,0,6,7,0,5,13,112,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08194888550820595,0.1200851335182742,0.0,0.10433274659292817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144396285593525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4428274619153548,0.0,0.1196741876074046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314496381526084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3779211546749136,0.0,0.10094409030368284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995904977462545,0.1025624102648847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790546621183817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464397766023493,0.0,0.0,0.1185195679143206,0.0,0.11253027020900612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06123210332552149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20727894472768027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382811455717188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19322997734505293,0.19106709952964926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349301511008769,0.0,0.0,0.09841838691533727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11774303848661645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935478310630236,0.0,0.0,0.17380446125935878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245645176780134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15883535217746866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117231602216729,0.0,0.07508124821470798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11733753183477233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18045239662734747,0.11591368430748095,0.0,0.08295468272148554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436311137245433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077862396712077,0.07509695479336385,0.0,0.1860872366770452,0.06834019617649899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943669676844135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547288420419015
bipolarreddit,pineapplesforbfast,2019/04/20,"Good afternoon, I’m getting drunk, what’s there to live for? Seriously wondering. *tried* hanging myself from a tree last night. Used a bungee cord, so it was easy to unhook. Wasn’t high enough either. I was paranoid someone would see me though it was 2:30 so I was pretty should I’d go unnoticed. Finally passed out after drinking some more and had dreams of someone finding me, but I ran away from them so I didn’t have to hear it. Was wild. 

Anyway, living? What’s it good for? 
(Disclaimer, my friends all chose my ex over me, I don’t have any of those, dropped out of college ages ago, haven’t had a job since November, nothing is interesting (:)",1.3848809523809535,4.008150563492066,2.371726190476192,92.08473214285715,87.01587301587301,5.372222222222222,22.954365079365076,6.9077264865688965,0.8253507936507938,505,19,102,7,16,159,88,126,0.059000000000000004,0.807,0.134,0.8848,1,0,1,0,0,1,27.0,0,0,1,0,6,5,0,0,3,0,16,2,0,1,1,12,24,6,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,7,3,2,0,2,3,0,4,4,1,0,0,10,2,12,4,15,12,5,17,0,0,1,0,4,5,0,2,7,66,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16682175541003394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12797770555382346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17681353520852214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184357511666088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19445369460717235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061562522562782,0.1720050089139565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14539745876051405,0.0,0.098323084447995,0.0,0.10695442895584316,0.3156947492362277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21210720857262394,0.0,0.0,0.19883625587570192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18675253156039626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15340242733795698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33235576524081034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766063987106913,0.0,0.180576276224025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19145995576802094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996546979694134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15567520910125715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31891066663539336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848986845327507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277707058082759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625383437322468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040873000852597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368692036153834,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ans9393,2019/04/20,"Thoughts on nicotine addiction? How do you feel that being addicted to nicotine affects your illness? For those who have successfully quit (smoking, chewing, vaping, ect) how was the process? 
I've been vaping for about a year using 6mg juice. I want to quit really bad but I'm afraid of how nic withdraw will affect my mood. I feel like it's going to be bad but being addicted to nic has started to give me anxiety because I've started worrying about the long term effects. Also I'm am type 2 (don't know if that makes a difference)",2.927019230769228,5.269428432692312,4.577538461538462,80.76746153846155,77.17307692307693,8.006153846153849,29.63076923076923,8.841846274778883,2.7976300000000007,423,20,77,10,10,142,75,104,0.14300000000000002,0.795,0.062,-0.8633,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,4,6,6,0,1,4,0,11,5,0,8,0,16,24,7,0,2,3,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,5,0,1,0,5,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,3,2,6,2,11,17,1,7,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,6,44,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5890281856306182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14403114613205556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13778102080699142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30076289900361275,0.10979128360614426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881730151635031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821345705584392,0.1286681581368631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17277461804659114,0.1023587051733074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898185186376499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799096473199396,0.0,0.0,0.1593886326329223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12022252331940407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3831309797833185,0.0,0.0,0.11538087035942607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25496069179414804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14298448574788053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555542352744974,0.0,0.0,0.10623151192621487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829069481277629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11598271572567928
bipolarreddit,emptypackages,2019/04/20,"I don't feel like this diagnosis fits anymore About a year ago, my pdoc diagnosed me with bipolar 2. Between then and now, I've had a string of suicide attempts, but have never been manic. In fact, the whole reason (AFAIK) why I was give the BP2 diagnosis was because of a brief manic period that lasted roughly a week over a year ago (I'm doubtful I was even manic, because I was taking a lot of caffeine pills and just didn't sleep for a week, which caused hallucinations).

Anyways, the only bipolar-like symptom I think I have is having on-and-off periods of intense suicidality. It sounds like this might be a mixed-state.

Is it possible to have bipolar disorder manifest itself as only mixed states? Or is that more likely just major depressive disorder?",6.375493395493393,7.1311165104895125,7.192680652680654,71.79449106449107,65.71328671328672,9.712198912198913,34.070707070707066,9.725611199111238,3.40826557886558,603,26,103,12,9,201,96,143,0.155,0.835,0.011000000000000001,-0.9611,0,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,1,11,0,17,6,1,2,2,16,22,6,2,0,4,0,2,3,0,1,5,1,0,0,8,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,7,3,8,3,12,13,4,17,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,4,15,70,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28084024808772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570992779093408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19312945440926155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627297985906513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364375400445043,0.16078191890580512,0.0,0.0,0.3631011431877128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046277275500055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009640903553472,0.11316750458060178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15196045907800704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291245726462935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232172078513028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13467376620531368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16804703957191558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217487636649707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24095454278867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785824776065861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16287095490897988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15852351781144378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465477255324085,0.0,0.0,0.16464772595839042,0.1191039414568896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150216566433408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25413247655900545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14293958880736582,0.17685812161497594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20402055494095125
bipolarreddit,Aquaaaaflash,2019/04/20,Cymbalta I just started 30mg of Cymbalta last night. It is currently 2 AM and I am trying not to throw up and I am wide awake. This sucks! Any Cymbalta success stories?,1.105882352941176,3.5459963529411773,3.689705882352944,83.74867647058825,85.47058823529412,8.105882352941178,29.088235294117645,8.841846274778883,2.9923764705882365,132,7,26,4,4,46,27,34,0.075,0.8059999999999999,0.11900000000000001,0.3595,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,6,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,3,6,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,4,16,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3946301806105883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4730294807560879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5445809074212107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4107458645745671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.393991879223497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Senok73,2019/04/20,"Is this a mixed episode? This past week has been very strange for me. Last weekend I thought maybe I was getting a little manic, everything seemed so pretty and I had a lot of energy, and I ended the weekend taking two hard drugs for the first time. The whole week since then has been a weird mix where I don’t really have any excess energy, but I was extremely paranoid and was starting fights with my friends over scenarios I had completely made up in my head but that felt so real to me. I’ve never had issues with these friends, and I’ve never lashed out at people an episode, but I had become so convinced they secretly hated me that I was sending all these text messages out of the blue and they definitely seemed alarmed. I’m very lethargic but not really depressed, and even though I’m lethargic enough to lay in bed all day I’m only sleeping maybe 4 hours a night and it’s filled with horrible nightmares. Even though I havn’t been generally depressed I keep getting caught up in stuff from the past, like random intense memories of my friend killing herself a few years ago and stuff like that. 

I’ve had mixed episodes in the past that were very agitating and frustrating, this doesn’t feel like that. This seems like random bouts of mania or paranoia and random bouts of depression. I don’t want to blame it on the drugs since my symptoms started before then, but I’m sure they didn’t help anything. But yah, has anyone experienced something like this? I’ve never felt with anything like this and it’s freaking me out.",6.4097278911564635,6.947107523809527,5.911292517006802,81.77299319727892,65.59863945578232,8.846258503401359,31.97959183673469,8.680891452615391,2.423722448979592,1228,46,232,17,18,377,154,294,0.172,0.645,0.183,0.2527,0,0,3,0,1,0,22.0,0,0,3,1,8,21,4,1,14,1,22,5,2,1,6,49,43,25,1,1,8,0,4,6,3,0,3,0,1,0,18,18,0,1,8,2,0,3,8,10,0,2,19,6,24,11,27,24,6,40,0,3,1,0,12,14,0,8,29,145,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201825375084781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06292049800558229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469596567758353,0.0,0.1522811697435511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218712130735016,0.07873236711939102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701120351524303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05967127899312955,0.0,0.23907617636806086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21460035961911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195011066274165,0.09560355259348656,0.0,0.12222441143679012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08315593372325543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04678366185430983,0.0661002201090698,0.17767793799714465,0.0,0.0,0.07870212448492951,0.0,0.0,0.21445486479932446,0.0,0.09668148701589127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288465460554398,0.0913497541073978,0.09495783422787843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062017877679886965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09111895818255863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09657256036034303,0.0,0.08224089630751684,0.10236573283128142,0.0,0.0,0.0754206139389646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712196500181904,0.09273483646540802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866185281790282,0.0,0.0875498446393831,0.0,0.0,0.1859085582302826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140840583934232,0.0,0.0,0.08682889343703458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07036979552406541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26497811523601417,0.06414551653535902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09413167483288053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10531425058954276,0.11854838116236435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526951610009333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15307606338753613,0.0,0.09259229898753646,0.0,0.0,0.07123063349941186,0.0,0.0,0.1309800193830983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21183907201023375,0.0,0.0,0.08720416820353988,0.09616939921615032,0.06956764466385218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818116250956674,0.07345489448962028,0.05395235040495302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09038394771746844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22902962868541,0.05457392429114373,0.0,0.14843671511241124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330139212798732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05958337438980282
bipolarreddit,mcCheester,2019/04/20,I just made my first appts for ketamine infusions... What should I expect as a high if any (I’m no stranger to psychedelics) and what’s the downside if any?,2.272795698924732,4.475969612903229,2.143225806451614,98.1015053763441,78.67741935483872,5.423655913978496,26.46236559139785,6.42735559955562,0.7207978494623659,122,5,27,1,3,36,26,31,0.149,0.851,0.0,-0.4939,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,7,3,4,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,3,0,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,17,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6351748496494256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.397244234163328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.493428868661767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4419025688633065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gangstergaga,2019/04/20,Lithium Have any of you gone through lithium withdrawal just from lowering the dose of the pill I started to get some withdrawal symptoms but not as extreme as when I last went off lithium,16.794000000000004,9.225189542857144,13.905714285714286,57.70428571428572,53.57142857142857,17.428571428571427,63.57142857142857,13.023866798666859,7.912142857142857,154,10,26,3,1,47,28,35,0.045,0.893,0.062,-0.1027,1,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,5,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,8,3,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,19,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470057372369528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665985787027446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4159437158369613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3611765611368017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5303729997762315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4730317264283785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,brokenteef,2019/04/20,"Lithium and Hair Loss So it seems like this is a pretty common side effect. However I am now almost completely bald at the front of my head. I'm pulling a major comb over and it's not going to last.  

My question is: Once you've stopped lithium does your hair grow back? Is the hair loss permanent? How long does it take before hair starts to regrow?  

Thanks!",1.6484859154929588,4.1363775633802815,2.496602112676058,92.970536971831,83.22535211267606,5.240140845070423,20.142605633802816,6.6274283507984215,0.26270281690140873,281,8,57,3,8,88,55,71,0.086,0.785,0.129,0.6364,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,3,4,4,0,0,4,0,4,6,6,2,0,9,10,4,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,0,0,4,1,2,0,0,0,4,4,2,5,10,1,14,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,3,8,28,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471999469405509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898241842254536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21006419512743252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588335792555389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4320669902994347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14029924388928516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533550272643921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012281751808704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060592013239722,0.0,0.0,0.21846802971065246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26290349684435355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251150768524222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27654564340929666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22473690533468205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17473253603415145,0.0,0.0,0.20639045188438154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856119892986696,0.0,0.0,0.2272804087564525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,newsoberliving,2019/04/20,"How to talk to your friends/family about the severity of your illness Hi everyone,

I have been diagnosed for 2 years now, but people in my life really do not seem to understand the difficulty of having bipolar II and what it means to have to deal with it everyday. My father said upon hearing that I was diagnosed ask me if ""they gave me meds for that"", as though that would solve the problem. My mother basically said nothing. My grandmother now seems to think I am a loaded gun headed for a psychiatric hospital and the rest of my family treats me like I am a child. I have my brothers and they are kind. My partner is supportive, but my friends aren't. I don't know what to do anymore to help other people understand that I am fighting a disorder that has taken more years from me already than they would care to think about.

My bipolar manifests as extreme depression for months with about 4 days of hypomanic episodes afterward. I am on a pretty good medication load, but my baseline of depression has never lifted. I have problems with compulsive behaviors like drinking, smoking, sex, drugs and food. I am not sure how else to talk to people about the severity of my illness and why it causes me to act in this way. I don't want to be the fucked up guy all of the time and I want people to see me as a human.",6.865630580357141,6.491004480468752,7.4898660714285725,73.93281250000003,64.7421875,11.376785714285715,35.082589285714285,10.914260884657429,3.822566741071429,1041,43,196,26,14,346,137,256,0.149,0.716,0.135,-0.4805,0,0,2,1,2,0,23.0,0,2,3,0,9,15,2,0,13,0,24,14,1,3,3,35,44,16,0,7,6,3,0,2,2,2,9,3,0,4,12,9,2,0,8,1,0,1,6,6,0,0,6,4,34,9,42,35,3,17,0,2,1,2,24,5,1,3,12,146,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160667993466175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928720634977368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302063278067386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235461801466988,0.1132041172595116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106885459828857,0.11360971653527235,0.1898274491281119,0.22369812239253511,0.0,0.0,0.12629691902305953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107952483716209,0.12779516386993306,0.0,0.09205662684551298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529929821878206,0.0,0.0,0.2077704972445644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332523484835917,0.0,0.08513901417617041,0.10187664950819084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242919360384674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911374610341636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309535554762445,0.0,0.12420161116623847,0.0,0.07386366784318146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147546807937984,0.060562161331327274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07783639225204271,0.10767474848081607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003836857774824,0.12240558526154435,0.11101329935841796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795931534346317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499180328460032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573834145643614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055907944127313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211139470567777,0.0,0.2108899815148424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059591989523649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20964783625829414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781386117626737,0.2006409779031125,0.0,0.24898566135125536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12505184383725665,0.10386069236316596,0.0,0.0,0.17714660704594076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14122137633641446,0.10826937319116503,0.0,0.06425757602090278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294408514685868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299957485661357,0.087470364402995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943692005100914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15656357002190754,0.0,0.0,0.14192831936690492
bipolarreddit,benJD85,2019/04/20,"Book: The Master Key System The Master Key System by Charles F. Haanel

[http://www.sacred-texts.com/nth/mks/](http://www.sacred-texts.com/nth/mks/)

​

I am finding this book useful for controlling my thoughts, concentrating on what I need to do and meditating.",18.93176470588235,22.234230411764702,11.516470588235292,42.77411764705886,39.00000000000001,11.505882352941176,40.52941176470589,11.20814326018867,5.083576470588237,230,8,23,4,2,59,28,34,0.0,0.914,0.086,0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,6,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,4,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,14,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37962017025149297,0.42573164395257207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3929639731185351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32022712690363797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597910979523258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781505559808565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30260273903471224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42573164395257207,0.0
bipolarreddit,EulerSeries,2019/04/20,"Post mania cognitive issues I had a manic episode in December (triggered by Zoloft), and since then have been struggling with cognitive slowness.

​

I used to be a math / computer science major at a top 3 US university doing well (3.9 GPA), and since the episode have been struggling cognitively.  Reading, doing math, and programming are all noticeably harder than before.  Worse, I find it hard to follow and contribute to conversations, and I used to be a pretty social person.

​

1. Has anyone else experienced cognitive slowness, and improvements over time?
2. I also feel like my memories of my past are foggy, including childhood experiences and knowledge of subjects studied in school.  Should I expect this to come back?

​

I did find this study by Torres et al. 2013 ([https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/bdi.12154](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/bdi.12154)) that shows a linear improvement in cognition over a 12-month period following mania, so that is encouraging.  I'd be very curious to hear from the community to get some perspectives.  Thanks!",10.227758768177937,13.793940556886227,8.1399871685201,57.94905688622757,59.59880239520957,10.759452523524379,36.479469632164246,10.7630783206399,5.0856846877673245,911,41,108,25,14,270,116,167,0.057999999999999996,0.8,0.142,0.9275,0,0,0,0,0,0,69.0,1,0,0,1,4,6,0,2,8,0,16,1,0,3,1,20,25,10,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,5,9,0,0,4,2,0,3,0,2,1,0,4,4,10,4,20,17,3,19,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,9,73,15,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092531464434108,0.0,0.3761079718012044,0.4217928279008894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08090556537003156,0.11855628736840887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897213538594828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845879272379904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967200115629547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665899722201972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318440478292766,0.0,0.0,0.058505326765913,0.08266165630264027,0.0,0.0,0.21150961698665693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060452535841398786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036514374757192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304110697954927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12076885341078175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05652897336633275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235684066180803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13173406670858606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11045616213893852,0.0,0.10103156451243946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11081606215502547,0.11771640305263975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573908537937785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171024438344164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914293313853196,0.0,0.0,0.11794950336684593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419257748257645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652817174462656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674701330575736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13918220445249585,0.19986873083242893,0.0,0.0954710307987662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10403518406312404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791610609533132,0.0,0.0,0.4217928279008894,0.0
bipolarreddit,aspicyfrenchfry,2019/04/20,"Does anyone have experience getting meds from a PCP instead of a psychiatrist? I have an HSA through United Healthcare from my employer, so my monthly premiums are lower but my deductible is $5,000. I turned 26 a few months ago and was taken off of my parents' insurance, so it took me a while to find a psychiatrist in my area that took United. 

When I initially set up the appointment with the new psychiatrist, I was told the initial appointment would be $150 but after that it would be $68 until my deductible is met. Today I found out that it's actually going to be $120 per appointment until my deductible is met. I'm waiting for someone in the claims department at UHC to give me a call back to see why it's so expensive, but I was wondering if anyone has experience just going the primary care physician route in the meantime? It would be much cheaper for me as I'm in an entry level position and the payments would be easier on my wallet. 

 I am seeing a therapist regularly (it's $60 per session with my therapist until my deductible is met), so I will absolutely still be getting care",9.695057113187953,6.968842046728977,10.390809968847352,62.91644340602289,60.77570093457944,13.81017653167186,42.93665628245068,12.261556223090626,5.281485565939772,874,41,156,23,9,303,117,214,0.008,0.902,0.09,0.9563,3,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,0,16,0,23,1,0,0,0,18,45,16,0,5,5,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,9,5,0,1,3,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,11,2,21,2,27,23,2,30,0,0,2,0,7,11,0,2,13,114,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.13379989687083518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121540028598443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19174145166620568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542937509131488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14000496966197212,0.0,0.27958622449664955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199861676496183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26824041065403303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531635128220392,0.0,0.0,0.15033439220773245,0.0,0.0,0.14326896952167742,0.13152871547389214,0.15584591256784538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522986595713828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188803034600513,0.0,0.10079186353957358,0.0,0.0,0.1324220043663542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15224478780684805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21851835143562925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11617313175953692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949648108064408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31839130561923795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299645543387329,0.13101478938450092,0.3046692276483505,0.0,0.1491366592311565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237207403838394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14869029658615815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38959695835934943,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Whoisthisguyreally,2019/02/01,"RISPERIDONE 1MG Tablet Hi everyone..
Yesterday I saw a psychiatrist and he diagnosed me with bipolar, schizophrenia, manic depression and anxiety. 
He gave me this medication called risperidone in 1mg tablet form. After reading lots of negative posts online about it, I'm terrified to take this. Suppose to take it in the morning, not sure if that cause it could interact with my Tramadol prescription that is taken at night as a sleep aid. 
Was wondering if anyone may be comfortable sharing there experiences with this medication? Also, how bad do you think it would effect the creative portion of ones mental state? 
Thanks in advance :)",5.982424242424242,9.27829818518519,5.939090909090911,69.96954545454547,71.77777777777777,9.482828282828283,34.81818181818182,9.800150414767053,4.486322222222221,516,27,73,15,11,162,85,108,0.149,0.733,0.11699999999999999,-0.6152,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,2,4,6,0,0,4,0,7,5,1,3,1,18,16,7,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,9,5,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,2,0,1,4,1,5,4,14,8,3,10,0,1,1,0,8,4,0,5,3,51,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16015337017664208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320363283359786,0.0,0.0,0.14003127519163086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16721449906175986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20449489940298524,0.0,0.0,0.20572927569780491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15989682638094707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17248959031747174,0.20326669121616414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19136360830742685,0.0,0.1958994595868664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17025975953310382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4034956717603304,0.2018219352002493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18793692225045586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13570603659213595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19180033443077815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20032109832076672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20041153361502406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18874918625410125,0.0,0.3011515754446138,0.0,0.0,0.1843788578079532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12832294518111514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21718091376327325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14226386213246714,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nepheliads,2019/02/01,Do Lamictal side effects go away? I’m on my 3rd day of 25mg Lamictal and I am SO drowsy and disoriented. I can’t think or even walk straight. I have no motivation to do anything and it’s made me more depressed. I told my psychiatrist and he says it will only last the first few days and I should keep taking it. Will it actually go away or should I insist on being prescribed something else? ,1.265694444444442,3.655049625,3.3641666666666663,86.7752777777778,84.0,6.555555555555558,23.88888888888889,7.793537801064563,1.3510972222222226,310,12,65,6,9,105,58,80,0.121,0.8240000000000001,0.055,-0.7412,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,1,0,10,0,0,3,0,14,18,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,1,3,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,2,1,9,0,6,11,2,13,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,2,4,43,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.2383844230907551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20102363375232532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4590227869787882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31508392939319896,0.0,0.2104001074593561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20406663282474072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16134624761314806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20778651851219293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776626800721852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21712945660486505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19912279238955616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311459510522397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857878032652138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19426320091755786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1880605567273465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18366999341375054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15652632373881234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334223397341703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Wowwzaa,2019/02/01,"It feels like my life is falling apart. Any time I try to make a name for myself or pull myself back from the brink, it all seems to fall apart. I'm not necessarily afraid of failure, but it seems like that's all that can happen to me. It's getting really hard to keep going when all I'm ever met with is disappointment.

I'm caught in this stranglehold: the manic side of me sees all this potential and what I can be if I put my mind to it, but I always fall short and that just further verifies what the depressed side of me feels(that I'm not worth much of anything and I have no real way of making my life better.)

It leaves me with no motivation to even try to do better because it's always ended the same way.

I feel like I'm running out of time to get my life in order and I don't even really have a clue what to do with my life.

I've been trying to just take the bad with the good but I just keep wondering when the good is going to come and it just makes me so damn disappointed with myself.

Nobody has to reply or anything I think I just wanted to write all this down somewhere to try and get me to stop ruminating over my life",4.055739972337483,4.144829788381745,5.364796680497925,85.21613001383126,70.6182572614108,8.252392807745506,24.36542185338866,8.021203637495839,1.0707657538035955,893,20,199,11,15,300,116,241,0.14800000000000002,0.764,0.087,-0.9427,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,12,13,1,1,9,0,13,5,0,4,6,51,41,15,0,2,13,0,3,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,17,13,0,3,7,0,1,10,5,6,0,0,3,4,25,7,33,37,7,33,0,3,1,0,3,12,1,6,11,132,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939845637739483,0.0,0.0,0.07926890335427797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19184783512055165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963208836289513,0.09732777312494878,0.07105757510195672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061863767108558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041132064768464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039815809652776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10324291141848432,0.0,0.0,0.15398153804912434,0.10544065529437056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787858289867605,0.16654960229518498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18270283198642112,0.0,0.13249433181386533,0.1955401251988762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307896282112433,0.0,0.10442027453273924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207218501690542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12342660389337586,0.0,0.0,0.4116702010629635,0.17084483520112648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334262074126225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769846957513333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568945050860069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11718106438110187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267767129036442,0.14935037812847332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288804077529801,0.21223468695050232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974544276117488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764315407920642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469081069758146,0.0,0.0,0.13594118881916442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165627540013829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875366958975042,0.1850493912114054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264108963063891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HEM1987,2019/02/01,"Am I bipolar? tldr; got a diagnosis for bipolar as I was incredibly agitated and restless after a bad reaction to some medication and hospitalized as a manic episode. However I didn't feel elated and I was lucid. Is this bipolar or should I get a second opinion. I'm 31 years old and male.

Apologies for the essay.

Basically my story starts when I was very depressed and anxious for most of my adult life, and medication and therapy didn't do anything to really help. I tried Zoloft one day after the recommendation of my Dr. I woke up in the middle of the night all the time in a panic and couldn't think straight and after a week I was so restless I had to go to hospital. The attending Dr at the hospital said that it is a common reaction to medication if you're bipolar, and prescribed me Olanzapine.

After 2 months I hated the medication as it made me so sleepy and gain weight. So I decided to stop as I didn't need this before for 31 years. I was also prescribed Klonopin. I stopped Olanzapine and became very restless but I could deal with it with the Klonopin and I took it for 2 weeks. I remember the first day I stopped and I felt amazing though, like fully focused and full of positive energy to do things. However, one day I forgot to take Klonopin and it was like a switch flicked in my brain. I spent the next month waking up in the middle of the night in panic, feeling super restless in the morning and struggling to focus on anything.

I came off the Klonopin after that bad experience (but slowly tapered, I learned my lesson from the Olanzapine not to come of medication too quickly). I also got some Trazadone for sleep since I couldn't sleep for the whole night and would wake up in a panic and also couldn't get back to sleep despite feeling tired. As time went on, over the course of 3 months, I stopped having the panic attacks in the night, but would wake up super early really restless but exhausted. I also started to have depersonalization and had this spaced out feeling a lot of the time, and I would sort of feel like I was looked at myself in the third person. This carried on and didn't get better with time over the course of a few months.

Around thanksgiving I got really drunk, and after then, the restlessness became unbearable. I was also super emotional and couldn't focus. But I was fully aware of everything, and I didn't do anything reckless, and I didn't feel elated or anything. I basically tried to stick it out but couldn't take it, and went to hospital and they put me in a psychiatric ward as I was so agitated and restless and it was then they told me they thought I was bipolar and put me on Olanzapine again.

I've stuck it out for a few months, and to be fair, after two weeks of taking Olanzapine and Depakote, I started to feel much less restless and I was able to sleep fully. Also, the spaced out feeling subsided and started to feel myself again. However, the medication has left me super sleepy and it's affecting my work. With my psychiatrist's help we're going to lower the medication dose, but after that reduction, I'm feeling a bit spaced out, but less so than I was before. I'm still super sleepy though.

Basically I don't know what the hell is wrong with me and I kind of feel like I've been put in a bipolar box in terms of a diagnosis, but when I look at classic bipolar behavior, I don't really see it in myself? Has anyone else experienced anything like me? Like severe agitation, inability to sleep and depersonalization, but also being lucid, not engaging in reckless behavior and not having an elated mood?

Also that was a massive post, so thanks if you read it :)",6.1095428344265565,6.576342222222228,7.065010932220236,73.48761180679786,66.23646723646723,9.949035976942957,32.707347777115224,9.877274947071175,3.16905316371828,2888,115,529,60,43,969,255,702,0.159,0.708,0.133,-0.9331,4,0,0,0,0,0,68.0,0,1,3,10,25,38,3,13,46,0,50,32,9,2,1,113,101,79,0,13,17,0,13,6,0,4,21,1,0,3,22,52,2,5,19,2,1,11,16,21,0,6,40,18,67,16,97,49,14,106,1,1,3,0,13,42,1,10,58,382,89,3,0.05190769867721489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33208454302747004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05864092456624283,0.0,0.036295069829218034,0.05318557146283942,0.21357806594392706,0.04620885689391408,0.0,0.05905250088401943,0.0,0.039913816211755784,0.08668152041890442,0.0,0.0,0.08833925678330369,0.0,0.0,0.045908141245606486,0.056669762979429224,0.0,0.0,0.057946158630414864,0.0,0.059368578918022635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04471388618867065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04144407362587296,0.0,0.0,0.10042851429010227,0.053514558076808265,0.04470802480958923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04336222159439844,0.05838917442663057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04665129254334848,0.050775689612775454,0.0,0.0,0.28870701313339364,0.07416574061330186,0.049839530944294184,0.0,0.0,0.044152661977778826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135889044276827,0.0,0.05900068274329333,0.0,0.12454598547205666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05124810595969975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958527251201778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054053880400438375,0.028527113689401088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05639786649267051,0.0,0.036663942668741234,0.1521568776873071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871787872017728,0.0,0.0,0.044130069178497384,0.0,0.0491163195640283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660408181529791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20716114927910412,0.0,0.03815813110411119,0.03848890084909313,0.0,0.0,0.055204426423220335,0.1948474355384944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05446839794696714,0.0,0.07034800001096282,0.0,0.0,0.2436100010369808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04532380031167077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04971322671957303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15654472251953286,0.0,0.0,0.0519217456376661,0.0,0.13301360378084956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058801303800169825,0.0,0.0493761081854229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04136371533333722,0.0,0.0,0.05864092456624283,0.0,0.04293858474514967,0.0,0.2597259289820677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469621451647663,0.0,0.04145355521553167,0.17358864146815736,0.0,0.054265197027108886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708438823737727,0.0,0.0,0.04778963492272106,0.059360977238191975,0.0,0.034485168507290165,0.03326035737134995,0.1019981008011647,0.0412089146035016,0.12107118611735672,0.059660263698512274,0.0,0.04960003054163643,0.057671363162312875,0.07048384018200028,0.0,0.05070627912402527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565857524536058,0.0,0.0,0.1249116745642324,0.06320959297340606,0.0,0.09623791342951564,0.0,0.05795309184232236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03778942285471994,0.0,0.0,0.11062121950698506,0.05675291989648186,0.0,0.06685371217474992
bipolarreddit,p1netr3e,2019/02/01,"Pauses in symptoms during hypomania Is it possible to experience a break in symptoms during hypomania? For example, I may feel very tired from the lack of sleep for a few hours during the day, feel ashamed of hypersexual symptoms, or just feel like I've snapped back to my true self/calmed down, only for this fleeting break to end and be brought back up. 

I'm new to all this, and am not yet well-versed enough on the illness or my own individual symptoms to be able to differentiate between a genuinely high mood, with the normal mood fluctuations all people experience, or being hypomanic. 

I'm using either zopiclone or ambien regularly for sleep at the moment, so I don't know if the drowsiness is perhaps just a hangover from those. I'm also starting abilify (though at a very low 2mg so far), so unsure if that's potentially causing certain symptoms I'm having as well. 

I appreciate any insight from you all.",8.287192982456139,7.88062941520468,9.071461988304094,63.86578947368422,61.865497076023395,11.576608187134507,39.46783625730994,10.980518767755715,4.508934502923977,734,35,124,17,9,250,109,171,0.09699999999999999,0.831,0.071,-0.6632,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,0,11,8,0,1,11,0,9,9,2,2,5,28,20,14,0,4,10,0,3,1,0,1,7,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,1,3,6,4,25,15,8,22,0,1,0,0,1,10,0,7,10,84,11,0,0.12611753907438816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085615043277636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576425132527661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19395320555421502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12955745330440838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133537925929042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11170270595108844,0.13031313120709306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467343065462907,0.0,0.0,0.1913064514921898,0.09009839511421874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332501043654727,0.0,0.0,0.12420037154462775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931090121669778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061614659148782586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180510512617293,0.0,0.0,0.12356841100391333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591807154003816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743402191508619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14217857579791793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315680984678314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25241723930562976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926664328026315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6554220632076866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390984180686546,0.0,0.0,0.1449535585265352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892506082619126,0.0,0.2081203556671108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267896274708551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MissLuxious,2019/02/01,"Recently diagnosed BP, on meds, still feeling hypersexual sometimes. I was diagnosed about 9 months ago and have been in meds that have been working and keeping me on even keel. They did take a while to get accustomed to but I'd say I've been steady for 5 months. 

I am not nearly as hypersexual as I was or engaged in risky behavior (blowing a cop on the side of the road who had stopped me for speeding???), but I still find that some days I'll start masturbating and end up spending a good part of the day doing it. It hasn't happened often but it happens enough to make me worry. Even then I didn't start doing that until a couple months ago. 

I didn't know if I was just getting used to my meds or what. I'm hesitant to change them since everything else seems okay. ",5.56530465949821,5.431611064516133,6.200215053763441,81.28476702508962,67.38709677419354,9.469534050179213,31.415770609319,9.150863307647796,2.4145555555555562,605,22,127,10,9,198,99,155,0.073,0.85,0.077,0.163,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,1,7,3,0,0,7,1,16,2,0,2,0,21,30,14,0,1,8,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,8,3,0,2,4,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,10,2,13,3,20,20,3,27,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,6,18,85,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24089801263275826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374252751524508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15034811731377687,0.0,0.17526211377733916,0.0,0.0,0.27582972879009754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11350991302274965,0.0,0.12034893387062025,0.1403998790949888,0.0,0.17949429830446095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211976149483993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06870477393131356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12419143027360725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14198289414487367,0.0,0.0,0.11396930439719792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403156421989584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077597102835635,0.0,0.0,0.07467583704457406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09070064250610232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4527945834856722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32537323741828256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14714429142602514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416464488717894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10805685738251436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12369962234658945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11240095273097178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13438833124414162,0.0,0.1923524637566572,0.0,0.21702713901570925,0.11360137275192787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216449739330534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11735628810966013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098921917367197,0.13799226015197774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,clah_13,2019/02/01,"Mental health road to recovery. Fuck. Me. I’m new to reddit. My sisters been an active user for years. I finally decided to check it out. Little overwhelming with all the communities. I feel like I want to reach them all.
-
Anyhow, going through a mental health transition. Seeking help I’ve felt that I needed for a long time now. I could only repress myself for so long. This last melt down, completely broke me. My life that I created is, in my eyes, perfect. I’ve worked so hard to have it all, to not be my mom. And yet here I am, in the shower, tears blending with the water and my dog is scratching at the door to get in. But in that moment, I wanted everything to stop. Even my heart. 
I pulled myself out of the shower. Looked in the mirror. Wiped my eyes and smiled. I couldn’t convince myself I was ok, but maybe I could to my husband. Got dressed, went downstairs. Tried folding some laundry. Tried hiding. Tried holding back. But I looked at him and completely lost it. 
-
Immediately, I made an appointment with my primary that week. From there, I have now sought out a therapist and psychiatrist. I’ve since tried new medications. Not to much help. 
How am I supposed to feel? Bipolar 2 is my official diagnosis. However, I always mask and mask and mask and pretend. I’m very high functioning. 
-
Before my meltdown, I was the most manic I’ve ever been. Reckless. Hyper sexual (my husband loved that part). No sleep. Busy busy busy. What can I get into next? What’s going to keep me from crashing? Constantly on the go. And the second I withdraw in the slightest, people are surprised. What do you mean you don’t want to go out? You don’t want to talk and socialize? Why are you being so anxious? 
BECAUSE THIS IS WHO I AM. I’ve been so fucking good at keeping this up, I trick myself. But only for so long. Other people, I had convinced. 
- 
Which brings me here. I’m now trying another medication AND was told that marijuana isn’t a great match for bipolar, which is a fucking bummer. I love my maryjane. 
However, I am dedicated and took my vows seriously. I want to be the best me, wife, daughter, sister and friend I can be. This process is hard and challenging. I want to be open with those around me about this struggle. But for now, I think I need to understand it myself before the outside world can get it. 
- 
Well, thanks for sticking around this long if your still reading. This journey is hard but worth it. Exhausting but rewarding. Everyone, keep your head up. It’s so fucking hard. But please do it for yourself. You’ll make it through. We’re all struggling together in different ways, but we all have the same end goal. Keep fighting. ",1.3472865595942525,4.027880737672587,2.781854325162019,88.01841124260356,89.74950690335304,5.73737954353339,22.824711186249647,7.225922671290522,1.2026526570865037,2062,79,392,36,70,668,250,507,0.102,0.737,0.161,0.9872,5,0,0,0,2,0,100.0,1,7,1,7,23,30,6,4,20,1,40,20,5,3,7,78,85,31,0,12,12,7,8,1,1,1,8,0,3,0,30,27,1,7,7,2,2,9,7,14,1,1,14,12,65,16,56,62,11,60,0,3,4,6,27,26,4,4,25,269,95,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06154528040441065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775593504637675,0.0,0.08356004186780126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169007976185426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05687495854521325,0.0,0.04508872561224599,0.0,0.12587850635002787,0.0,0.07762230354481084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15510298806587972,0.07993050559668255,0.0,0.11811097976254382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727827901869415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06551154184023472,0.0,0.0,0.04885356211837152,0.06690609365886413,0.0,0.07067727290045538,0.06647548596723983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747984303186901,0.05284101876500357,0.07101854759592559,0.08102566771945048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057145616743831465,0.2735199144257974,0.11593187423291593,0.0,0.16814535434853992,0.062038811756704414,0.0591570240833853,0.08154730324703015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26503449350792324,0.0,0.07591001500509276,0.15724388656314822,0.0,0.08764955787080811,0.09915512634727053,0.0781486868471806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629759923864414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06029181249080416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05224407028197327,0.0361358418887787,0.07413293368391964,0.0,0.2618288114119371,0.1242249020193272,0.0,0.08074215828550907,0.0,0.13351363143305114,0.0699880117771047,0.049372593053981735,0.0,0.07430835780736833,0.08057019066611107,0.0,0.14902506259885698,0.14907979753946188,0.0,0.0,0.08662758290859221,0.0,0.0,0.05437320533810387,0.1096890674962949,0.0,0.1428728189328114,0.07866322397426341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125082996589414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009750559710592,0.0,0.1025568277183594,0.0,0.0,0.08119198561159502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398558722299292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06118508474394475,0.0,0.07401898813985791,0.07539858502123051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05906900061690092,0.06183852938943917,0.0,0.15464974909894147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05945072427530421,0.0,0.06809756027087423,0.0,0.08587972893022597,0.0,0.047394151354972436,0.0,0.0,0.04312991931736383,0.0,0.0,0.07067727290045538,0.08217847102619094,0.2510888377091592,0.0,0.0,0.07700076803961875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610293424496831,0.2617608612609619,0.058710427516506014,0.059330719593127176,0.0,0.06650393131699868,0.06856682542885252,0.06674242329919322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053847816678494094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04763140272481177
bipolarreddit,funclubfatass,2019/02/01,"Going off abilify... akathisia gets worse? Hi, I'm currently tapering off 5mg abilify (I was only on it for 2 months) because of the horrible akathisia. Ever since I started tapering, it's gotten worse.

I read that the akathisia usually gets worse during withdrawals before it disappears.

My psych prescribed geodon to taper onto while I'm going thru these withdrawals, as he said it has a much lower incidence of akathisia.

Is this all gonna be ok? Should I just tough it out?",3.7975252525252543,6.563489863636367,4.448333333333334,80.58555555555556,76.5,8.002020202020201,30.232323232323232,8.841846274778883,3.013594444444444,380,18,64,9,9,121,65,88,0.212,0.764,0.024,-0.9454,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,1,5,0,0,0,2,5,15,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,8,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,0,0,3,1,5,1,11,9,2,14,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,6,37,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13732830656876807,0.0,0.1916962818944723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037782265198405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23539850593937545,0.0,0.2560630895699892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17981596638153138,0.0,0.16560637078129548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17133522912097549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253404873583293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142924153591869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863535498299915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15945400625470274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481135679057765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6887372419046138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,chaoticgoodwave,2019/02/01,"I forget that I'm Bipolar I'm fully aware that I'm Bipolar. Until I'm having a mood swing. I mean even when I'm having a mood swing I know I'm Bipolar, and I can guess ""yeah this is probably a mood swing."" But then I swing lower and I end up thinking it's never going to end, and it's never going to get better. And then I end up wanting to die. And once I reach the point of wanting to die is when the thought of it being a mood swing leaves my mind.

And then I somehow survive the next 5 days and the mood swing ends, I'm back to ""normal."" And then I'm like ""fuck. I really forgot I was Bipolar again, didn't I?""

It's just a really annoying, seemingly never-ending cycle.",-0.7495238095238079,1.2957387074829931,2.2847959183673474,93.22746598639458,90.49659863945578,4.627210884353741,17.01020408163265,6.139981653823899,-0.2847714285714291,518,13,116,5,18,183,69,147,0.113,0.821,0.066,-0.8016,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,7,9,2,0,9,1,8,5,0,0,2,25,29,16,2,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,7,8,0,1,5,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,4,0,13,2,10,24,0,22,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,3,18,69,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964196453370838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261081818775515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09195796215484656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959692678765229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6314566490000627,0.0,0.0,0.09417853941589586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318210224843329,0.07449674847010798,0.0,0.16207297068475882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15707760845304264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836306031947811,0.0,0.0,0.15098092183017478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069661671781537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15532097452810106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397401268372834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3299197548952331,0.0,0.15164477713398236,0.0,0.1397067225371603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15185238906419246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347924787286842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15373481336324193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826920376501768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12980746317790054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136512790310312,0.0,0.11319955800415273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682051046763814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,twentyfour2424242424,2019/02/01,"(Reminded by earlier post) I have Bipolar and also ADHD. Is there any hope for ADHD treatment? I have Bipolar (I was diagnosed as BP2 but after an illness earlier in the year I feel like I may have had a manic episode over the summer, but we'll see what the doctor thinks) as well as ADHD. The mood stabilizers help, but don't do a whole lot for concentration while the ADHD meds work for concentration but make me, you know, *manic.* 

I'm totally open for another medication besides the standard Adderall/Ritalin. My overall mental health is the most important thing but I really feel like I always need that little extra *oomph*.

Any hope out there?",3.231614748887477,5.99761561983471,4.911074380165289,76.43066751430388,78.75206611570249,8.020597584233949,26.663064208518755,8.841846274778883,2.6870312778130967,514,21,86,13,13,173,82,121,0.027999999999999997,0.8009999999999999,0.171,0.9513,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,1,0,1,4,6,0,0,10,0,11,7,0,1,1,21,21,11,0,3,5,0,2,2,0,2,7,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,3,11,5,12,17,5,10,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,5,6,62,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6723846660310134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185372720317713,0.11638277291014835,0.0,0.0,0.1902323483567077,0.14666554791480602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14196477416434206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14316253740639906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14144461886620638,0.19984584510326067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14867492211536418,0.0,0.0,0.09375169368571468,0.0,0.0,0.2778442905471307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686871453681217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13666651456696793,0.14018615772657028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891219445141515,0.0,0.0,0.09336409303246797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15536367567374046,0.14090398081215386,0.14095573298649453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037115904685386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339564834710381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960409428260516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11145802063114407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929231958971593,0.08962283895971432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257596339677035,0.0,0.0,0.15615949520361944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10182678800097487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900714837967708
bipolarreddit,T_86,2019/02/01,"The bipolar diagnosis on the Netflix Ted Bundy Tapes Has anyone else watched this and been out raged? At no point do they bring up a diagnosis until he is found guilty and wants to get off death row.  He gets a lawyer to help him find a way out of the death penalty.  The lawyer decides that if he was considered mentally ill this would help his case. They get an “expert” to diagnose him and the diagnosis they come up with is manic depressive.  They list only three reasons for coming up with this diagnosis. 1, by representing himself in court that shows mania somehow. 2, apparently when he wanted to kill women that showed depression. 3, he admits to not ever feeling empathy.  WTF I’m really annoyed by this and just needed to share. ",4.252173913043478,6.509236753623192,5.2268840579710165,78.07119565217394,72.76811594202898,8.368115942028984,27.44202898550725,9.075114841892004,2.473959420289856,584,22,104,13,12,191,98,138,0.24600000000000002,0.696,0.057999999999999996,-0.9856,2,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,4,0,4,6,3,0,9,0,7,3,0,1,1,25,20,7,3,5,3,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,7,10,0,0,6,3,0,3,2,5,0,1,3,2,8,1,22,16,0,17,0,2,1,0,18,10,0,2,3,65,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14034317983844935,0.20565416338202394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3457929134827489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34574758476001083,0.203719445970036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16766993677246947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18155637809854544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014865115676846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183448024116492,0.0,0.0,0.2200714186543561,0.0,0.0,0.31459273798322723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26906735433251594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220591701750109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20227147191504904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14882612870192402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15265126294962658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18973863877122865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285818721675828,0.20636636833589947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23677142743185586,0.15931661816728726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14258073962724638,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,City_in_space,2019/02/01,"Feeling flat from meds While on medication I always feel flat. No motivation, no creativity, no desire to do anything. How do I deal with this?",2.290384615384617,5.202043807692308,4.645000000000003,73.33750000000002,91.69230769230772,7.2153846153846155,25.73076923076923,8.07648339933343,2.5491076923076923,113,5,19,3,4,39,21,26,0.201,0.518,0.28,0.3818,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,6,4,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,4,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,14,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484060918295538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34456841905318963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4316788475296201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4234317986867505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4651002008308589,0.4218133324241173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,violinsontv,2019/04/24,"Alone with no words I don’t know what I need right now.  I’ve isolated a ton because I’ve been told I’m so negative and I’ve been avoiding people because I’ve been self medicating so I have pretty much zero support system.  I feel like I’m a cancer to everyone in my life so at this point I just stay away as much as I can from anyone with any shred of happiness left.  Hell, I’m hesitant to even post here because I’m afraid to bring down anybody who’s also having a rough time.  But I need to get this out and hope maybe someone understands or can donate some empathy.  I’m probably doing worse than last year, when I actually attempted to take my own life.  Today I found out an acquaintance of mine from college who I ran into in an outpatient program a year ago after the aforementioned suicide attempt is dead.  Not sure the cause, but I can guess.  And all I can think is a rotating fuckswirl of “that could be me”, “that should be me”, or “I wish it was me”.  No general direction of this post.  Just have no one to talk to and needed to get it out.",3.672361111111108,4.493401884259264,5.2130370370370365,83.3356666666667,71.82407407407408,8.908148148148149,27.825925925925933,9.21078282632365,2.1779114814814817,821,29,173,17,15,278,132,216,0.146,0.79,0.064,-0.9218,0,2,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,0,2,10,8,1,2,9,0,19,4,0,1,2,37,42,15,2,7,7,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,0,1,10,10,0,1,5,0,1,2,6,3,0,2,7,2,19,5,29,31,6,27,1,0,0,0,5,12,1,5,10,117,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.13134549094896747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931051592382592,0.0,0.0,0.13940002622044784,0.0,0.10763572571533704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152934543125996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941120871291756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12645661266537347,0.0,0.0,0.2461439377285277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13826633723786289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10746330800350902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889885434105975,0.0,0.0,0.128611473070827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805537276616087,0.09615483143360692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14757667989909562,0.0,0.0,0.14064086430308112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14827177742100495,0.0,0.0,0.14327908374074075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368339436101467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07396999707435628,0.10971304494832096,0.0,0.0,0.14623806897831154,0.0,0.1901371278895823,0.06575641171831886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13521896030906638,0.0,0.0,0.13559049492688982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978859043971697,0.29940188631074705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912051848577146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331135841153997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723596062426476,0.0,0.2578099751023798,0.13693169721951928,0.1451163807072389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494355780573692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404121384645845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404206866292048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14346056527999734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14722529340803558,0.15273702786429286,0.1268543747673351,0.0,0.10119883314833192,0.10818251625163064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624316375774403,0.0,0.0,0.07848353833126376,0.0,0.1275805033845695,0.128611473070827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011834071623633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15477782731934955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13716399854598293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17334978041656654
bipolarreddit,Magic_writer,2019/04/24,"Always on the verge of crying. Can't show my emotions or be honest with people I'm feeling pushed against the wall. I hate showing weakness around other people. Being a burden on anyone else is the last thing I want, so I haven't really told people how I feel because of the anxiety and panic it creates. I'm on disability for bipolar II, and am living at home with my parents. Was in a three year relationship that didn't work out, in december of 2017. I met her in the AA program and after the breakup I absolutely lost it. I couldn't be around those people anymore. I feel embarrassed about being mentally ill, and have tried convincing myself I don't need help. I have attempted suicide once, and have had suicidal thoughts for years. I'm bisexual and try to keep that to myself, but have unfortunately gone off the deep end and embarrassed myself in that area. Was very active in AA for a number of years, and when I first got sober slept with about a dozen men in quick succession.... leading to people finding out and my identity being crushed. That happened about 2013.  I've done so many things during my sprees or manic episodes that haunt me, and it has been really hard accepting not only that I am bipolar, but also bisexual. I have told a few people, but as soon as the words leave my mouth I regret ever having said them. Trust is a big issue. Hooray for the internet! Sorry for the long rant, i've just been holding in a lot and have been needing somewhere to say this stuff. 
If anybody has any advice or experience to share please do so!
Much thanks!",4.772709211318482,6.186265801324506,5.549066827212523,79.72830824804338,69.79470198675497,8.272366044551475,27.965683323299217,8.710501217029153,2.1328821192052976,1240,43,229,21,22,404,178,302,0.156,0.733,0.11199999999999999,-0.8506,1,0,0,0,0,1,35.0,0,0,1,6,16,15,1,3,17,0,31,6,2,2,1,45,53,26,2,6,9,1,4,0,0,0,4,2,1,1,15,18,0,2,6,2,0,3,6,8,2,3,17,6,25,7,40,30,3,36,0,2,0,0,12,21,0,5,12,163,40,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058941735251748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08666039222191943,0.090169339908966,0.0,0.0,0.07369271607705906,0.0,0.08289982843657255,0.0,0.10747012826058944,0.0757721502710665,0.11103395398045553,0.0,0.19293774415616272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660590153961074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903515643800418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089622252626502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905260352493674,0.12189736291116222,0.09598026762307572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802341075490306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600291448837648,0.0,0.0,0.16437958468330566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904472213245986,0.0921762144001898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667033081216384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09582785202344916,0.0,0.09707480888739244,0.10698916420763836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07263556386918958,0.0,0.10870011070068764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310613388403278,0.0,0.09632083682769013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833289731541065,0.0,0.11474413410790935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568931923913916,0.0959006561471104,0.0,0.0,0.11829448281964193,0.0921290480773186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986629426062372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920761794865604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07966160852392724,0.16070429359295138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540644131837435,0.0,0.08241736042037645,0.0,0.12714435936454066,0.12032781476766426,0.0,0.0,0.4507647734037764,0.0,0.0,0.11895352008130793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13884429512331614,0.0,0.0,0.11634471868713638,0.0,0.0,0.10308104948773167,0.08617713307898371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12130706255928785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240533457498447,0.2370700171701366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976901589672033,0.0,0.0,0.14398734497840399,0.0,0.0,0.08603063954792076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20709705121574828,0.0,0.1471470410466882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941344466393544,0.06391717859005767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889186715104897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093527942880218
bipolarreddit,endbsjobs,2019/04/24,"Feeling discouraged I got laid off, with a 4 week notice. I found out on my last day there that I was eligible to transfer to the office in a different state, so that's what I did.

I am nearly 2,000 miles away from my established support network and having to completely rebuild life. I've done it before, but still. 

This transition has been hard on my bipolar 1. I'm crying at work and have already cut out early two days despite being at the new location less than a month. I feel as though I'm drowning, even though I'm trying to remain optimistic. 

I just keep feeling smothered by thoughts of ""what have I done?!"" on repeat. ._.

Feeling discouraged.",3.5816581818181845,5.7264238640000045,4.606618181818182,82.27530909090909,74.36,7.4254545454545475,28.963636363636365,8.296473431620573,2.26804,513,22,93,9,11,167,91,125,0.133,0.79,0.077,-0.8356,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,7,5,2,0,5,0,11,2,0,0,0,16,23,7,1,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,5,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,8,5,11,1,21,14,1,22,0,2,0,0,0,12,0,0,9,66,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918929668133952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633762541399736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14796837490406226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18232133310396004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19101102279564505,0.22429053016203995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18167901245956167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3559015928197236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485332015029093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3516979189077854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906624307906213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907646303712368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15577211882717876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545622495869255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174431796128087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12282430737621293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13879808238495586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167944945077955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19797597787994373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13886952239782346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19732936819186025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3416939143119797,0.13804997568403524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11806052788412635,0.0,0.16986617258550146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13948481618731393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265946690516457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bookthief8,2019/04/24,"Lamictal and Prozac I went to the psychiatrist for the first time about a month ago for  depression/anxiety/what have you. Based on family history and some other signs, she came to the conclusion that I was likely bipolar, and wanted to start me on a mood stabilizer and then eventually put me on an antidepressant. (Cause, apparently, if she just started me on an antidepressant, I might get manic.)

So I’ve been on Lamictal for a month now, going up from 25mg to now 100mg. I’ve started noticing a change in the last week or so. My mood is much more flat, and I find it easier to work through things. I had an appointment yesterday, and she’s now putting me on a weeklong trial run of Prozac (just 10mg, to see how I’ll react).

In my first session, she thought she’d put me on Lexapro, which seems to be (based on my research) a more common combo for bipolar. I filled the Prozac subscription and took my first pill this morning, and then Googled the drug combo today to educate myself. And the opinions on this combo seems a little more worrying.

So...does anyone have experience with the Lamictal/Prozac combo? Should I just trust my psychiatrist, do this one week trial, and see how I feel? Or should I be concerned, based on the limited (and possibly misinformed) research I’ve done?",6.249523809523808,6.7471125918367365,6.770204081632656,75.61503401360545,65.93877551020408,10.61496598639456,32.65986394557823,10.504223727775694,3.398708843537415,1015,40,191,25,15,332,131,245,0.019,0.951,0.03,0.5147,1,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,0,1,0,6,11,4,0,0,19,0,14,7,0,4,0,37,29,20,0,4,6,0,1,1,0,3,7,0,0,0,8,13,0,1,6,0,0,9,0,0,0,4,8,3,26,2,30,15,5,44,0,0,2,0,6,14,0,8,22,131,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11986834754110087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09455210448524763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466078735792002,0.0,0.13891279605097645,0.14304957567998325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383815977481445,0.0,0.0,0.15681747240932206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13227549450015988,0.1274776103901782,0.0,0.06837356298066498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12359273007666825,0.3450656352172701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07064921256197491,0.0,0.076851191438595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11022600396811734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606385323100536,0.13553045935811306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434518099155625,0.0,0.0,0.21586978864169168,0.0,0.09940555607398956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15395397316277293,0.0,0.0,0.09163161110672624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524452897065586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.407813871964656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21551281496349736,0.24620658609995674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28713776079738346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983713962351456,0.0,0.0,0.10735313687638323,0.07885048502307711,0.0,0.12817700100244256,0.0,0.15023937909991206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975890517597033,0.0,0.21693785153003176,0.0,0.0,0.12535445294424755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09844503606162827,0.13732702911995698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,notthelasttimelord,2019/04/24,"Guys, I’m struggling So I left work after 2 hours AGAIN. This time when I went to my boss’ office, she handed me info on the EAP stuff and told me to call before I left. The counselor figured I was emergent enough that I got an evaluation appointment at 9. I go and we discuss what we will do in the other meetings (next one is on Monday). She also tells me to get with my psychiatrist and see if someone can see me for therapy. 

I get to my pdoc’s office and you have to do two orientations/ evaluations before they schedule your actual therapy appointment. So that eval is on May 15th 🙄. 

I am now home, suffering. I told myself I’d try working through my DBT workbook or read one of my bipolar books on my kindle, but lack of motivation wins. 

I don’t know what to do and I need to work. I told my boss and the EAP counselor that hospitalization is last resort because money.",2.4282954545454563,4.427498875000005,4.4556818181818185,82.70977272727275,77.29545454545455,7.127272727272729,25.20454545454545,8.07648339933343,1.5804500000000004,686,25,137,12,16,235,111,176,0.040999999999999995,0.9109999999999999,0.048,0.5023,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,2,2,1,5,6,3,0,1,5,0,13,2,1,3,0,21,26,13,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,8,9,0,0,4,2,1,2,1,2,0,3,6,3,31,1,19,18,2,20,0,1,2,0,15,8,0,3,10,96,39,8,0.0,0.0,0.1387777669501166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11372636815247394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866907212407867,0.0,0.2420227752286051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14521369228231776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14694234383492072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485991254735905,0.0,0.08082198955410036,0.0,0.11373941078641632,0.0,0.0,0.14081159857310105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14264958293870125,0.0,0.14004953707184206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781556408302916,0.11592123393974375,0.0,0.0,0.3090261037402858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544791679475307,0.0,0.0,0.15124338798349873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19273218741470194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422498380846319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266480734221521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12049521847355345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14867018425391812,0.16279797618691766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429899132904293,0.0,0.32526215353409266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292458395993597,0.0,0.0,0.4076671283036853,0.0,0.09655217414530766,0.0,0.13891982842029446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183134960913448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.310594677608218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Type1ASugarnova,2019/04/24,"Suicidal Man gets 93,000$ bill https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/health-problems/this-is-how-expensive-it-is-to-attempt-suicide-patients-bill-goes-viral/news-story/39a3e819958c9820f99e55bc12c89ac1

But but get help if you need it.",10.941470588235298,15.824508735294126,4.036764705882355,81.26044117647061,64.58823529411765,6.9294117647058835,34.97058823529412,8.07648339933343,3.37855294117647,203,9,24,3,4,47,29,34,0.15,0.6559999999999999,0.19399999999999998,0.2023,1,0,0,0,0,1,29.0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,3,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.373975352677726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7608606993068013,0.0,0.0,0.23989243849598224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653778866246275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3914838784458863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Lileelace,2019/04/24,"Spur of the moment decision biting me in the A** I received a tattoo last week because I pretty much just said ‘F*ck it’ and now I’m pretty sure it’s infected. It’s just kinda poetic justice seeing as it has to do with death...FML, why can’t anything ever go right",0.1396623376623367,2.4562568363636395,3.136103896103897,86.57272727272729,89.72727272727272,5.324675324675325,18.766233766233768,6.868970318607317,0.5308961038961031,206,6,40,3,7,73,45,55,0.055999999999999994,0.737,0.207,0.8235,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,0,3,1,0,0,2,8,7,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,3,1,5,6,1,9,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,1,5,25,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360840362061752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17488400765692338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595062432315388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16304482461009925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23385167032593696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21089538303778985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5837356192316691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24500042815089906,0.2728957878012581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286122600000812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703881515772997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301239140987637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25887142093294363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Saturniqa,2019/04/24,Antidepressants worsens bipolar depression? It's well known that antidepressants can induce mania or rapid cycling in BP patients. But has any of you ever experienced significantly aggravated depressive symptoms when treated with ADs alone? Or can (hypo)manic symptoms occur delayed after the discontinuation of ADs?,11.658478260869565,15.755089413043475,11.212391304347827,35.15815217391307,57.04347826086956,12.42608695652174,48.45652173913044,11.698219412168324,7.9208434782608705,267,17,24,9,4,87,40,46,0.295,0.669,0.037000000000000005,-0.9279,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,1,1,8,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,2,5,3,0,5,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,2,4,18,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32038158952685736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21036091579528288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5328659181004144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798145536421313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.643042681855338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27813263096473634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,neurotickathy,2019/04/24,"I did it. I applied for disability. It’s so small, but I feel SO victorious. I’m tired of being tired, I’m tired of the stigma, and I’m tired of pretending. 

I took a scary step in my personal life and have filed for disability. I was able to get over my imposter syndrome and internal panic at being regarded as disabled.

I may be rejected, but that’s ok. I’ve finally come to terms that I have a disability and I’m tired of hiding it. I’m tired of masking my symptoms, of working myself past the point of breaking, and then working more. I’m tired of being misunderstood and taken for lazy (or other negative characterizations) when my body and brain literally can’t keep up the way other people can.

It’s funny because people at my current job love me and are unaware of my illness, I only work part time, my supervisors are in an office 15
Miles away, but they always have glowing reviews about me, my work ethic, & my progress. But they don’t know that I’m often late, I sometimes am absent without notifying them, and I leave early when I’m not feeling mentally “up for it”. I also have gone to work in the middle of episodes and I wish I wasn’t financially required to do so. 

I’ve had to shed a lot of friendships due to ableism and a lack of respect for me and my condition, so it’s been incredibly hard. 

I need a little extra help and it’s ok. I’m still me. I’m still valid. I’m still a human being worthy of respect and love. This is only the beginning of the rest of my life. This is a new chapter where I will accept myself fully and start my healing.",2.8506655413551982,4.440787219435741,5.063965517241382,80.60931697612736,74.92476489028212,7.5409211478177,27.31625271280444,8.263242389622931,1.9108981432360743,1229,48,243,21,26,429,161,319,0.209,0.6509999999999999,0.14,-0.9811,2,1,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,3,7,13,9,0,1,14,2,25,16,2,0,0,35,51,29,0,3,7,0,3,0,0,2,12,0,0,2,14,16,0,2,4,1,0,4,6,2,0,0,8,4,36,7,38,36,7,38,0,1,1,2,8,15,0,4,17,168,50,9,0.08916944028509227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130876917995685,0.07419611753212434,0.09661505129429884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377762442632394,0.0,0.0,0.0543568631569702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904714634537233,0.0,0.09954258546263292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681157720377302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017349650008613,0.0,0.0,0.09768076326451124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04658735221603575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07987830383242374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05976839621196596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848691041260279,0.07925789561368676,0.0,0.0,0.04900519239836147,0.0,0.1005870125890192,0.09441756221114063,0.0,0.0,0.12596602545400234,0.0,0.08937120481815362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580866940102514,0.1609578025293628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986182293119031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06611801010952066,0.0,0.08612040107729446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356347549313634,0.0,0.10462112554535934,0.0,0.09656181433023348,0.08512232048459943,0.12363772482817215,0.0778593158312951,0.0,0.0,0.08429394317961991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819085649864049,0.0,0.06311458878637873,0.0,0.2136324905896092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09268119082510463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051995417711880834,0.7174100797719956,0.0,0.0,0.0990705291259437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707785512025024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254045568178903,0.08595615841593192,0.0,0.3245820726522768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,monkeezee,2019/04/24,"I’m here to apologise to a bipolar friend who went through a traumatic incident I had an online friend who I met on reddit some time ago who suffers from bipolar and cptsd issues among other things. Some time ago they confided in me that they were the victim of sexual assault by an abusive person and were worried about being pregnant.

When they told me about the incident, I had an immediate overreaction out of anger since something like this happening was one my worst fears for the them and then it happened. Even though my anger was directed towards the abuser, in the heat of the moment I was blinded by rage and my overblown protective instinct and ended up projecting my upset feelings towards my friend. I tried to force them to confront the abuser and this incident by going to the cops even though they said they didn’t have the emotional capacity to deal with it in the moment. I ended up experiencing a whirlwind of emotions between feeling sorry for them and upset over everything and their apathy and I wasn’t very sensitive to their state of mind at the time. That person got overwhelmed and pushed me away. 

Since then I did message them more than once to apologise after I managed to calm down and understand the situation clearly. I tried to explain myself but they never replied and probably hate me now.

A few days later, I saw some now deleted comments from another account looking for support and advice on here and some other sub mentioning how they were raped and needed to have an abortion. It was quite obvious that it was the same person and I’ve been feeling absolutely gutted and ill ever since for misunderstanding and overreacting so much and I don’t know what to do. 

I’m afraid that person doesn’t have much of a support mechanism in real life for dealing with this or anything really and looks towards people on the internet for comfort and advice with mixed results. They also draw abusive people a lot and struggle to process situations in ways that an emotionally healthy person with self esteem might on top of the existing bipolar issues. I’m worried that they might end up in another dangerous situation at some point in the future and I wish someone strong could come into their life who could guide them towards healing.

I really needed to vent and to say sorry to that person for misunderstanding them so much and that I hope they find the strength, safety and support they are looking for in life in whatever form they need the most. I wish the same for everyone else here too. 

Thank you for listening.",9.53634894091416,8.701898405982908,8.936250464511335,67.23580267558532,59.5982905982906,11.814344109996286,39.792270531400966,10.940254816364696,4.479293273875882,2066,91,336,43,23,658,228,468,0.147,0.726,0.126,-0.8719,0,0,1,0,2,0,21.0,0,1,21,4,19,30,9,6,30,0,26,11,1,2,4,69,60,37,0,8,2,0,3,1,3,2,9,3,0,7,23,33,0,1,7,0,1,4,5,17,0,1,20,12,48,13,76,35,16,57,0,2,5,1,47,30,0,11,22,267,71,2,0.0,0.3228402791795473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13313051634073494,0.12076705669846835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054474870423593016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285776465457636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056056267414552274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06400019643451095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05867862765444355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087752182628277,0.0,0.0,0.04393122508633579,0.1404557328893843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05690482022678388,0.2298746709762877,0.18100008001116652,0.0,0.0,0.08998413006184723,0.06161768326270459,0.0,0.06509077988705775,0.06122111178614709,0.0,0.0,0.07665299716892247,0.10332928742090544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062259681337350686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15788609018156935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0387136904120052,0.0,0.05448111783837936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204751025954454,0.0,0.0,0.06725357118180057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676576994971168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14219741751613735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03743651077817695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14434373906520606,0.033279582444116364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160882321860027,0.0,0.0,0.05791247682573372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14452733533871767,0.06878093652337948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022626914599768,0.15152848975526792,0.052537698288432334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254468593642363,0.04615930811135791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09445050190791422,0.3568741564288465,0.0,0.0,0.0643946275473533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344397952288086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245311531376983,0.0,0.07753452122218919,0.08727776083137409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06479692360025865,0.05417109290173476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710631437464071,0.0,0.0,0.16904662786218325,0.2297063814952888,0.0,0.0,0.057717146160941264,0.05244146004755905,0.0,0.15250765303396485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712129399245896,0.0,0.0,0.2319024584029865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271497363346291,0.0,0.0,0.04525534537306078,0.0,0.13385346451698973,0.0,0.11916249607368486,0.0,0.0,0.06509077988705775,0.0,0.09249688108618996,0.0,0.0,0.07091445153324417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05620544388631324,0.0,0.05406982128377125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314714700197491,0.0,0.0,0.15666735243585422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13835663419215385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CrackIsForCoolKids,2019/04/24,"I feel like I'm coming out of a fog to see my life in absolute ruins I don't know what to do. I turn 27 in a few months and it's like... what the fuck happened? The last 2 years of my life have been a disaster. Shit just kept happening and piling up. Shit on top of shit and it was all just too much for me and I shut down. I thought the best way to keep the world from shitting on me was to just avoid other people, outside, Reality. I realize now how absolutely fucking detrimental that was, but I feel stuck. I dug a hole for my enemies and fell in it myself. I don't know what to do. I thought other people made me miserable, yet I've been virtually alone for 2 years and have been more miserable than I ever have been in my life. With no one left to blame for my suffering, I realized it has been ME the whole damn time. **I** am the most toxic person in my life. :(

I literally have no idea how to rebuild the shambles of my life. Just thinking about it is overwhelming. My social skills have regressed a lot due to the isolation. Idk what to do anymore. I'm literally scared to leave my house.",0.6272368421052619,2.7981073903508817,2.8720631578947367,90.71504210526315,84.74561403508774,6.630456140350878,21.400701754385963,7.839951260653429,0.9604341754385964,847,28,190,17,25,288,121,228,0.264,0.713,0.023,-0.9953,0,3,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,3,11,17,7,5,13,0,21,11,4,3,2,34,41,9,0,0,5,0,2,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,12,9,0,3,10,0,0,2,4,14,0,1,13,3,28,3,32,28,8,26,0,5,1,2,2,14,7,2,11,134,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12628616274972004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092510467852065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796151326445862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503477210203632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029568307335028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330631656480392,0.08710919948030241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254508083342629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21565049236668365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14069469846464347,0.0,0.1376478943752928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083799513839647,0.0,0.0,0.13402274507977432,0.09939194292689923,0.0,0.1291097968600214,0.1324809261512957,0.0,0.4306256054689675,0.11914093759157593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366336174521573,0.0,0.11537627058695782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09732602534753436,0.0,0.0896350316644016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262518401786455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16906644445133784,0.1064674856586442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207654060813518,0.0,0.09716508189421023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5006512680010325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429568045150588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781299581474801,0.0,0.19360289712629647,0.07110030868431799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326284553441082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678500645215203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613421496360611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570421410659934
bipolarreddit,wegotthekey,2019/04/24,"Those of you who take Saphris twice a day: How do you stay awake after your morning dose? I just started taking it, and I’m literally sleeping all day. How do you do it? I need to stay awake.",0.879249999999999,2.848920425000003,2.4700000000000024,95.165,82.25,5.0,22.5,5.985473137389443,0.12250000000000005,147,5,34,1,4,48,29,40,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,1,2,1,6,8,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,3,8,1,6,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,23,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3976453132056815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285944058009693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3085143669835895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21821046787548826,0.6571959130948539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4635940157160726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Cxodael,2019/09/09,"I'm losing my mind I got out of the hospital a week ago. But now I just don't know what to do. I'm still in an episode (switched from mania to hypomania thanks to meds). Some of my best friends just don't like me when I'm like this. I think I might be relapsing but I don't know. I feel like I shouldn't be here, people would be better off without me. I don't understand what's going on... I just wanna go out of this episode...",-0.4181052631578943,1.3857047157894762,1.902368421052636,98.34407894736843,86.05263157894737,5.484210526315789,18.973684210526315,6.742157984588678,-0.13449473684210522,328,9,84,4,10,111,56,95,0.08800000000000001,0.79,0.121,0.596,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,7,8,0,0,3,0,11,0,0,0,0,19,23,3,0,3,6,0,1,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,5,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,1,1,13,7,14,16,2,12,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,2,8,56,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008005535768275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377237856758813,0.20034276339022905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114537737260706,0.1618293511804274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17501248644707104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574785103901983,0.0,0.1811725634540482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489841946554002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.332005702230664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25342329085895643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516179690230403,0.0,0.0,0.2403069987493233,0.2287254572066157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570437633176077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809029853724225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.208553586837812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14514793512273888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23582028930333496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18170451821762854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21836180852927733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16091670746778106,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,asocialkid,2019/09/09,"What do you do when you can’t fall asleep at night? A few times a month I’ll lie down to go to bed and just know I’m not going to fall asleep, but I’ll stay in bed for an hour or two trying.

I eventually give up and decide it’s going to be an all-nighter, and I work on whatever project is stressing me out most (and is probably the cause of the insomnia) till the sun rises and I start the next day.

I’m usually pretty productive that night, but the next day is obviously miserable, like limbo with no time for the nap I want to take but don’t need because I don’t feel tired, which is odd. 

My physical anxiety on those days feels like a giant hole in my chest, so I usually hit the xanax pretty hard and avoid my adderall and go to class in a dream world.

I’ve been sober and stable for over a year now, and this happens rarely. I’m generally dysthymic and have bpd1.

TL;DR a couple times a month I get insomnia and pull and all-nighter working on a project stressing me out. Does this happen to anyone else randomly and how do you handle it?

Obviously this is really bad for my mental health and it fucks my mood up for a couple days. 

Does this happen to any other non manic/stable people here? How do you handle it?",5.350286839145107,4.675714838582678,6.351856017997752,81.83732283464569,67.93700787401575,9.776827896512936,28.37907761529809,9.23628265651192,2.0272258717660288,955,26,208,16,14,320,141,254,0.14,0.778,0.08199999999999999,-0.946,0,1,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,4,0,2,7,9,1,4,18,0,15,9,3,3,2,38,36,23,0,2,6,0,3,2,0,0,5,0,2,0,13,17,0,1,4,2,0,8,5,6,0,1,1,3,18,2,29,33,2,45,0,1,0,1,5,15,1,3,23,123,31,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173254989085644,0.0,0.08069476056563878,0.0,0.0,0.0737566728300953,0.10808054130008588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807450394826946,0.06430189942635693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10836084195084417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23343146978305435,0.0,0.27211310355783425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18461903640692276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811811649276677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10667148113619514,0.07535759390127163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751800361228524,0.05511089240166471,0.10118960037768793,0.23979532616003735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798367277853224,0.0,0.09449269808943822,0.0,0.0,0.11212426656439904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10388022061194367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057971096379660025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10306803926114506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630278431822172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16839220513839814,0.0,0.0,0.07821484518074284,0.0,0.0,0.22436627550956026,0.3959573193389125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07312913296934126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146297399191092,0.11372929599808282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06757557501734263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466192316429117,0.11243161532326736,0.0,0.0,0.2416625001790273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07931063325653293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18452522420319545,0.12123802409731267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07161652484172287,0.0,0.10304227150905026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323508399457713,0.0,0.062217033733696386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15358681556743844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06792806019594624
bipolarreddit,UndercoverDr,2019/09/09,"I think I'm Hypo and I've noticed £1000 too late.... I start uni in a few weeks and I am super excited about the change and I've loved buying new bedsing clothes etc...

However I think it got abit out of hand... something I notice when becoming hypo is that my music and fashion sense changes drastically and welp thats happened.

But I also dropped 100s of pounds on a new iPad and Apple Pencil cause it makes pretty notes. I bought 2 pairs of football boots, 2 pairs of trainers. Ive been searching for the perfect 3rd pair for 3 hours tonight. Ive bought new jackets, hoodies, jeans, whiteboard, corkboard, blankets, pillows, fairy lights, LEDs all room decorations and towels in a mustard yellow theme. 

All this in a week and over £1000 gone. I even dipped into my 4k savings luckily only took about £200 out but I've realised I'm out of control and need to calm before I get my student loan in or I'm screwed.",3.313222836095761,5.104188646408844,4.110475138121547,87.08457090239409,74.13812154696133,6.1526335174953966,29.19373848987109,6.742157984588678,1.4760825782688771,719,31,140,6,15,230,121,181,0.026000000000000002,0.8759999999999999,0.098,0.8338,2,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,3,6,7,1,0,6,0,5,3,1,4,3,27,21,14,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,13,0,1,2,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,6,3,14,6,20,15,4,25,0,0,1,2,1,11,1,1,10,68,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12882106493023232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17790772731608925,0.13707301195321314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16548052877991748,0.3408169743639691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18067255654862813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17965437616005248,0.1063963197273368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416121037798532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12883583868957454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424485353819464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15863806082677825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18171293978118805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14538713659701333,0.0,0.10752669751309084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944382957840127,0.0,0.4667359389277225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3667968050602896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251377896956073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16388319901492635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240124974560189,0.0,0.0,0.11401807426484495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064358487739902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17897337469110122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584282471025573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sadiebug97,2019/09/09,"Feeling overwhelmed, searching for ways to cope Just started a new job, school started recently, all relationships I have are stressful. Just literally everything in life is overwhelming and I’m starting to see my symptoms showing more and more each day. How do y’all fight back when your symptoms start to show? What do you do when you feel like you’re starting to drown in life?",5.344347826086956,7.87268046376812,4.6283333333333365,82.36250000000003,70.44927536231884,7.498550724637681,34.68840579710145,8.344100000000001,2.9457710144927534,308,16,53,5,6,92,51,69,0.136,0.7929999999999999,0.071,-0.7757,1,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,0,4,0,0,6,5,1,3,1,0,6,4,0,1,1,9,15,5,1,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,6,1,7,15,4,14,0,2,1,0,6,2,0,0,12,33,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402136700464211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11759879913276153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16388182240478347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18440035293138185,0.1302688100272298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809513675659226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575943093330009,0.0890855860126036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761119726928864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18004577012976355,0.19577255194685814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18454500782973896,0.14530703611183227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6453311060925842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.208877995545953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3790569282900928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14473864636823588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MixedTheFuckUp,2019/09/09,Interpersonal and Social Rhythm Therapy I read that this is specifically for bipolar. Has anyone tried it? Does it work?,4.149000000000001,7.0930099000000055,5.240000000000002,66.40000000000003,100.0,8.0,25.0,8.07648339933343,3.1685,98,4,14,3,4,32,19,20,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,9,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29565704290828554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700269838254943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4229508263822307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4310284616200184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4835502749263621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870781604648503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078299357738967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,awaythrowzptl9999993,2019/09/09,"Trileptal and lymphnodes mainly on right side of body leaking side effect? Been on med for 5+ years. So I gained like 40 pounds but like I've been messing with the dosage and my food intake has been all over the place.. Im in so much pain I cant even sleep. Swelling in my brain and some seizures like about a week ago. 

​

Mainly the right side of my body is leaking lymphnode fluid and is seeping into different parts of my body and im itchy.. Like it feels like the feeling of a menstrual blood clot or blood dripping into my skin. Ive never had this type of reaction to the meds before and this has never happened to me in the past. I mean hopefully it isnt just straight up cancer it but like this seems like the most logical case that the med is doing this.  Like sometimes im screaming in pain cause the pain hurts.  I cant get an appt until like a week or so.. I think im gonna just try and taper off as quickly as i can before this gets any worse... fuck my life.

  [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syndrome\_of\_inappropriate\_antidiuretic\_hormone\_secretion](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syndrome_of_inappropriate_antidiuretic_hormone_secretion) 

 [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5242157/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5242157/)   

# Desensitization to Oxcarbazepine: Long-Term Efficacy and Tolerability",7.812681818181819,11.149237631818183,5.756363636363638,73.38454545454547,65.86363636363637,7.309090909090909,25.54545454545455,8.238735603445708,1.6420181818181816,1109,32,176,16,20,318,128,220,0.142,0.7040000000000001,0.153,-0.3315,1,0,0,0,0,0,75.0,0,0,0,2,8,17,1,0,13,0,15,15,8,2,3,31,26,18,0,1,6,0,3,9,0,1,5,1,0,0,9,11,1,0,7,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,4,4,14,10,25,21,7,27,0,1,0,1,0,18,1,6,18,103,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469387529392199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035217424035566,0.11609625892402775,0.0649731074219703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16260159116923553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3183830997058548,0.0,0.10665855632635557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09814987247936637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982300787966916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310582453722083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09661970211944372,0.0682565592755074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11553202593558246,0.0,0.0,0.08832876753883158,0.09983545650007443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844891280303142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489662032899626,0.0,0.0,0.10228168810655124,0.0,0.4128150967572078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06748546041199784,0.4201011756300225,0.0,0.0,0.08455331768702949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407528324723757,0.3183830997058548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023573730977388,0.0,0.14737864410093282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30499623964451483,0.0,0.0,0.10346469970465524,0.09120743420357404,0.0,0.0,0.09982300787966916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16318788457597722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697955017917525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561286987955277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09449532972860948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061220653516535724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486801554955722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15327905757369326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09736736529650117,0.0,0.0,0.11609625892402775,0.06152711926165415
bipolarreddit,jentyjenty,2019/09/09,"Afraid you’ll be alone forever? I recently ended a 5 year relationship. I worked through it a lot in therapy and finally came to the conclusion that I wasn’t getting the love and attention I needed so I decided to finally end it. 

But he was so supportive and understanding. He never judged me for my mood swings and understood if I needed to leave suddenly. He held me when I would cry and helped calm me down when I was angry. He was there before, during, and after the medication and therapy and was my rock through the whole process. 

I’m finally stable now and that’s what gave me the strength to leave him. Does that make me a bad person? Was I just using him because I was weak? 

I’m so scared I won’t find another spouse as supportive and understanding. I scare people away. How can I get to know someone and explain who I am as a person without coming across as “crazy”? I’m just afraid i’ll never find someone to accept me and understand and support me. 

Now i’m just rambling. Hoping someone out there can relate.",3.1104975124378105,5.2152577860696585,4.7331592039801045,81.01725124378109,75.61691542288555,8.446766169154229,27.58457711442786,9.150863307647796,2.5414696517412936,809,33,154,20,18,272,110,201,0.13,0.745,0.125,0.4018,0,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,3,13,15,0,4,9,0,14,3,0,3,2,45,39,24,0,5,6,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,7,16,0,1,12,1,0,2,5,6,0,0,11,0,26,8,19,24,2,22,0,0,0,1,16,5,0,3,15,106,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033400348332294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117070578544566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000893953939868,0.0,0.08894894773478611,0.06494031796854505,0.0,0.09065004739850227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12184310099193955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176703653545602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11701931768385095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322600914023432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18870971844717724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3500985592650474,0.19473483550489454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131611688059727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07140549378772132,0.0,0.0,0.10580933518452272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058546659825995474,0.0,0.0,0.2256019260750925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056885938134936,0.09614840030034698,0.0,0.07111027974998557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10731878999728983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15798279556936362,0.1643265724179982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385519230628568,0.1860375464381196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518652533076472,0.11437444200763512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21331226103344186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707901499502227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3626704001711156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24365499988134615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3327076309486718,0.0,0.09200859274328042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893807382335125,0.0,0.1026920969071679,0.0,0.07755584770982263,0.0,0.0,0.07567657654313735,0.0,0.0,0.0686024809136986
bipolarreddit,malestar,2019/09/09,"Worked for me Hello all!

I haven't written here in ages and there's a reason for that. Here it goes: C60.

[https://www.sesres.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Edison-Castro-Fullerenes-in-Bio-Med.pdf](https://www.sesres.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Edison-Castro-Fullerenes-in-Bio-Med.pdf)

Disclaimer: I do not give advice on treatment of any kind, this just worked for me.

Best wishes to you all.",17.789619047619052,24.54492453333333,7.894920634920634,49.91,59.22222222222222,3.4603174603174613,15.317460317460318,5.288315135182226,-0.9059206349206348,344,4,37,1,7,80,38,45,0.0,0.7959999999999999,0.204,0.8588,0,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,1,0,3,4,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,2,7,5,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,5,2,7,4,3,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,27,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615562423494562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18201936201011687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808947918155045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567658131605495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2787288200308165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5946243605772912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27520115055701283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077981301979057,0.0,0.0,0.3897222979705352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ICareAboutYourCats,2019/09/09,"External Validation Does anyone else here seek external validation, regardless of a mood episode? It's becoming a major problem for me, and I think I'm finally getting the courage to bring it up in therapy.",9.205945945945944,9.297585405405409,10.44121621621622,53.154797297297314,59.81081081081082,16.048648648648648,50.93243243243244,14.554592549557764,8.399010810810811,168,12,25,8,2,59,32,37,0.075,0.836,0.08900000000000001,0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,5,4,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422797144108497,0.35502852385811745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38268022290901504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032230556177171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894549235900224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3795720238973977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810310953526934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33155214120391874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3962510798323475,0.0,0.0,0.2220221623226198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Carrot-bomb,2019/09/09,"I don’t know the difference between being genuinely happy and being hypomanic. I honestly can’t remember the last time I felt stable. Whenever I have felt happy lately it’s been followed shortly by my partner pointing out that I’m hypomanic. 

How can I tell the difference? How can I be happy without being hypomanic?

How can I live life without constantly thinking about this disease?",5.753913043478264,8.383971855072467,7.535579710144926,61.519021739130466,69.57971014492753,10.397101449275363,39.03623188405797,10.504223727775694,5.433162318840581,314,19,42,10,6,109,46,69,0.0,0.759,0.24100000000000002,0.9504,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,3,0,11,1,0,3,0,12,17,4,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,2,8,4,6,10,0,8,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,35,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19616844447807127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3793185010872442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3485927658529114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.579723238766506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976363415120827,0.14797042734552004,0.20477270740456105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12821935660123096,0.0,0.0,0.16029350208743906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716036545714188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20563705896799944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586644158320131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11631650368353348,0.0,0.0,0.10585106549486327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34997510759847794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,surrogateuterus,2019/09/09,"That feeling when .... Your husband cheats on you because yall haven't been haven't sex

...because you're on some hefty meds

...because you didnt want to cheat on him during episodes of hypersexuality 

Fml",8.025526315789474,7.553971026315789,7.346315789473685,76.23421052631579,62.42105263157895,8.65263157894737,37.42105263157895,7.1686216300943375,2.5325894736842107,161,7,31,1,2,50,30,38,0.106,0.789,0.105,-0.0108,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,3,6,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,1,5,0,5,4,1,4,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,1,1,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8033780179147357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221228399361474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4879623012906966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25911000912581245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gurpderp,2019/09/09,"Bipolar with ADD? (Fluoxetine + Abilify for Bipolar, looking for ADD med recs) Hi! I've got treated Bipolar with untreated ADD and I'm desperate to claw back any kind of executive function I can. My bipolar is mostly under control, sans lack of attention span, with 80mg fluoxetine and 10mg abilify. I've looked into Straterra but apparently it plays bad with bipolar, and I'm heavily reticent to try any kind of stimulant.

Are there any other good non-stimulants that can help me reclaim some kind of executive function in my life?",4.632709750566896,7.221344561224492,6.356666666666667,68.88277777777779,72.77551020408163,10.069841269841273,37.41950113378685,10.25414643259724,4.881948752834468,429,26,68,14,9,147,65,98,0.079,0.8170000000000001,0.10400000000000001,0.5426,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,2,7,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,2,0,18,9,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,11,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,4,6,15,8,3,5,0,0,2,0,2,4,0,2,1,35,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4228718209142946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15938526044262424,0.17306985423584467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324817589502617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17385634068695913,0.16578047583182826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389351837902229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6475495923404725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464077506422357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.348125411749884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302409693676263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407292798664495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,WRRoach,2019/09/09,"Anxiety or Mania Anyone have a hard time telling the difference between anxiety and mania? Anxiety keeps me awake, gives me adrenaline, makes me talk more, gives me weird bodily sensations, etc. Those are also manic symptoms. Sometimes I struggle to tell the difference. Thoughts?",6.8293333333333335,10.572302155555557,6.275555555555558,66.10000000000002,71.8888888888889,10.711111111111112,37.888888888888886,10.355215969177356,5.782022222222222,227,13,28,8,5,70,36,45,0.231,0.769,0.0,-0.7977,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,5,7,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,5,0,2,6,2,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582149917412259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4540481067009485,0.0,0.0,0.13833643977345694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4134076946484732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.220647264916121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3795781051727823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772284857316297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17585196665364722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320617522313498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956718057686785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068284809936446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20563465068308148,0.0,0.1590187254421782,0.34584703980348525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15706525872524135,0.115363856065252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gewbald,2019/09/09,"A final stretch and into forever- please help. This is @ my previous(and only) post. 

It does seem like I've soaked up some measure of reality. 

I reached out to whoever there is, and they all met me when they had time. They've moved on and things are weird. I'm extremely socially awkward now and constantly aware of what I've missed out on. You grow by meeting people and doing things. I just haven't, I've been mostly isolated for five years. I don't know who I am or if I can recover from this. But be that as it may, I enjoy going out and meeting people the more I do it. The outside isn't the enemy.  

The question of what I can do in life is an onerous one. I'm scared. You'd think I'd be happy I'm not sick all the time. I'm not. I'm freaking out. 

Help me.",0.11734832992501865,2.1787125582822107,2.4201942740286317,93.83993012951599,85.99386503067484,5.830811179277438,20.711997273346967,7.1686216300943375,0.4909907293796865,589,19,136,9,18,200,100,163,0.068,0.77,0.163,0.9372,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,2,0,4,8,0,2,7,0,19,2,0,0,2,26,30,11,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,11,11,0,0,4,0,0,3,5,5,0,2,3,0,15,3,17,23,5,21,0,1,0,0,12,10,0,7,8,90,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23190443711810665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18779634743123447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23508185922669525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12196111316678925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284437943593603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.287681325062116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11793756882890967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151577068367783,0.10484184993512577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280839448386108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14541730691022547,0.1632116155699944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975507689723895,0.0,0.0,0.23556440161614384,0.0,0.0,0.2055257731918804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24039911817514525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148502539893115,0.0,0.0,0.19536215865786605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187558590843679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2851390420136449,0.13750587351622362,0.0,0.0,0.2502678942808473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13819421703372506
bipolarreddit,DeadMansPopp,2019/09/09,Does anyone also have trauma and not know how to differentiate the symptoms? Idk it’s almost like the trauma symptoms are worse than the bipolar ones because even my psychosis can be treated with meds but my low self esteem and anxiety and intimacy issues never go away. Even on meds I still feel so miserable and unstable sometimes and I don’t know if my meds need to be changed or it’s just the effects of childhood trauma.,5.38111111111111,7.0513554444444475,5.991049382716053,76.15472222222226,68.62962962962962,7.8691358024691365,32.01851851851852,8.344100000000001,2.6370148148148145,345,15,58,5,6,112,60,81,0.268,0.7140000000000001,0.017,-0.9689,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,7,7,0,1,4,0,6,3,0,2,1,19,11,11,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,5,0,1,0,1,5,2,7,9,0,7,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,3,4,42,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17845059589997295,0.0,0.0,0.14251369259014196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13632941604200294,0.0,0.0,0.12460789356886247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16743324489719827,0.0,0.0,0.10863456732183006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885215183569333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15595191835980526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23541076004232944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09010783742151313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012802955106604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18600392152773326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19587803870674167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706392773565888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.59385015595653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13213973366502338,0.1374457860119757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075904715702886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18591087860538225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17625328212566094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14231795725020713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3704548231593873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18161022089370768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rnizzlenay,2019/09/09,"End of hypomania DAE Whenever I believe I am coming down again, I start feeling this weird tension, almost like wanting to be sad but feeling happy, like “ow that hurts” for 20 mins then bounce right back to happy, like there’s a cloud taking over my sun! But I’m still blooming! Still active and silly and somewhat outgoing, but there’s this screeching tension of emotion. There’s a coming to awareness of how fast of a speed I’m going and it’s like train breaks coming to a halt but still screeching speedily down the tracks but still enjoying the ride. Anybody else get this sensation?",4.764774774774775,6.802837009009013,4.847027027027028,82.27882882882884,70.8018018018018,7.095495495495496,29.45045045045045,7.793537801064563,2.037493693693694,472,19,82,6,9,147,70,111,0.095,0.63,0.275,0.9724,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,10,13,0,2,6,0,2,0,0,1,0,18,14,10,0,1,5,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,2,0,0,5,0,5,0,0,0,2,4,8,12,13,1,22,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,2,16,49,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16746744047992113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12859780378945934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18842304078955294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4321892598980284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397081761084306,0.18812331941671925,0.14812565352145654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16912388354948546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08737638260546067,0.0,0.09504676504262048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3560617492597856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17903466817971142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268215062547026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14282267582234884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11837385460783348,0.0,0.5342346752012529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257442210443115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864291988725077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,iLostAsDirected,2019/09/09,"A Rant: No Molly, I have to pretend I’m okay. Note: no self harm has taken place, but I have been fighting the impulse. 

So a friend just asked an innocent enough question - when I swing depressive, do I need to adjust meds again? I mean maybe, yeah. At the very least my psychiatrist needs to know. 

She asked because she thinks I’m swinging depressive. That question made me sob unconstitutionally - not a typo, just a dumb thing I say - for a minute or several or like 30. 

I’m not ready. We finally medicated the hypomania out of me and I had like four really good days in a row. I don’t need Super Anxiety ™️ and that kind of physically uncomfortable that I take my clothes off. I don’t need the self talk reminiscent of Bojack Horseman. I don’t need the “this knife would stab me in really fun ways,” thoughts. The no desire to eat. The desire to whip myself with speaker wire until I bleed. The feeling that I don’t deserve love. The “I bought new underwear to feel sexy for literally no one because I’d rather self immolate than let someone touch me” feeling. I mean, it’s some shit. This sub understands. 

I just hope this shit is medically induced and I’m not going depressive. Hell I’d take “depressive symptoms during a mixed episode.”

I’m coming out of four weeks in an IOP, plus a previous IOP visit plus a brief hospitalization earlier this year. I’m about as over it as one can be without actually levitating. I’m seeing a psychiatrist, a practitioner who works with pDoc, my primary care, an individual therapist, plus two groups per week. Like I am working on this. Hard. 

I have to believe, or at least pretend, that these people with nearly a century of combined experience are helping me make the right choices on treatment.

Fuck I just want it to stop. I’m tired of taking this many pills and still feeling like shit. 

/rant",2.9871793831168816,5.461551963068185,4.557285714285714,80.30200000000002,77.66477272727272,7.8864935064935064,27.102597402597407,8.759644201051973,2.331696331168831,1449,60,275,34,35,484,203,352,0.183,0.616,0.201,0.9053,0,0,0,0,2,0,48.0,1,0,0,3,10,26,7,0,25,2,18,12,3,3,0,55,58,16,0,11,13,0,6,4,1,1,6,2,0,3,17,14,1,1,14,2,1,4,12,13,0,5,6,9,31,13,40,49,4,30,1,5,1,2,19,14,7,7,15,164,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.08676901790910932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06802036194507742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662485852704021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084045219808043,0.0,0.0,0.10017768516080244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065560844157106,0.0,0.0,0.07659310918403248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057343350622332014,0.0,0.3063322754988751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098308575613953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918738148337674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697673742773994,0.0,0.0,0.17983404883392518,0.06352148239296382,0.0,0.0974029389612746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06869614501513865,0.08220124646721542,0.0,0.0,0.050532911814255774,0.07457837454288206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965111340757139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05959840252561244,0.0,0.0,0.08831347582360681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259214790371807,0.04886581149082102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09092245421576693,0.0,0.17375912107229982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025000261645357,0.08413430251201555,0.05935200292638144,0.09014668959043484,0.08932789625238942,0.1937107976875232,0.098765435765916,0.1791466764121724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32964978403676903,0.0,0.0858754568362368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050332693030867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061643036777562686,0.0,0.09289811125472902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992121443226948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11392350727870312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593362782174087,0.0,0.07070943202140031,0.0,0.0,0.07085439971411543,0.0,0.2782757885877539,0.10044957217547504,0.27381244657632736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07533808908635863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100829186021443,0.07433761020556982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241758634041812,0.20056090168882051,0.07146717121593005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032381247873824,0.059071722497202175,0.05697366972073255,0.0,0.07058923221889846,0.0,0.1021956595793754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685784002032321,0.09256450851232946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07336486677352277,0.052444856692680855,0.07057724235708844,0.14264582129868958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571168131498895,0.0,0.12946355762950912,0.0,0.0,0.06316325021134132,0.0,0.0,0.0572588754011714
bipolarreddit,TA2086,2019/03/30,"NSFW! I'm terrified I just lost my job. It was completely my fault. I'm so sick of being a complete disappointment to everyone. I know that if I didn't exist everyone I know would be better off including (especially) my daughter. I am trying to get up the courage to do what I need to and I want to say good bye and I love you, but I'm afraid people will think I'm just being dramatic. I'm sorry I just thought it would help to put this out there instead of just journaling. ",0.7681818181818159,3.00570602020202,3.4149494949494934,86.60909090909092,84.75757575757575,7.236363636363637,23.141414141414145,8.296473431620573,1.613638383838384,372,14,79,9,11,130,65,99,0.125,0.735,0.141,0.3729,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,2,7,8,0,1,2,0,10,2,0,0,0,17,24,5,0,5,6,1,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,4,1,13,4,11,14,0,4,0,2,0,1,6,3,0,1,1,52,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874912406079648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4445428180933567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4051382176722021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075798242402857,0.0,0.0,0.17781029594203926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14209493912553164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103710814640844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330124370740947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23141621596570686,0.0,0.19133263230852926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15719067629478548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14696977078632978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213112267522744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685859354093241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23730964215961256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13583703233063202,0.0,0.16829935417735126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14392983771480256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12503940379930742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30118854913583243,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,What_u_callme,2019/03/30,"I'm having a melt down I packed my belongings into my van. I'm going to move in with my dad. I'm ending a 9 year marriage. 

I'm having a panic attack. I'm losing it. I just need someone to talk to.",-2.785590062111801,-1.1297889999999988,1.8511180124223607,93.49543478260873,102.04347826086956,3.4981366459627328,13.093167701863356,5.288315135182226,-0.9977788819875776,150,3,35,1,7,58,29,46,0.22,0.78,0.0,-0.8402,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,0,7,9,0,7,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,19,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3904855373134222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040091390131618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950714445449368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.383998240119306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3648102533823962,0.0,0.2545084273091024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40271868560096624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908264997938464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27588365336784065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22103558129761325
bipolarreddit,Sanesplaining,2019/03/30,"Choosing between physical and mental health. I was having severe stomach problems, so my physical doc took me off my Vraylar cold turkey and the results weren't good. When I felt better, I wrote an essay about it (and other things, health care, the ability to talk to your loved ones when in crisis, etc) recently published by As It Ought To Be Magazine. I'm bipolar 1 and a poet and essayist. I wasn't diagnosed until 45 years old. Before then life was a heck of a roller coaster. I'm mostly high-functioning now. I work as an English prof.  Happy World Bipolar Day!  [https://asitoughttobemagazine.com/2019/03/29/frankly-im-not-doing-well-by-daniel-crocker/?fbclid=IwAR1aB\_aQbULtEJIpzWWbkBSRXG6maTo6fjVvob89HwfnvY8bxwgVWFzMNdE](https://asitoughttobemagazine.com/2019/03/29/frankly-im-not-doing-well-by-daniel-crocker/?fbclid=IwAR1aB_aQbULtEJIpzWWbkBSRXG6maTo6fjVvob89HwfnvY8bxwgVWFzMNdE)",17.119633027522937,22.805554403669724,9.66283486238532,45.19902293577985,46.247706422018354,7.662752293577981,29.24862385321101,8.548686976883017,2.6450029357798166,766,20,76,9,10,194,82,109,0.10300000000000001,0.7509999999999999,0.145,0.7046,0,0,0,0,0,0,58.0,0,1,0,2,5,6,0,0,7,0,7,8,1,1,0,12,14,12,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,1,0,1,7,2,9,5,12,5,2,13,0,0,0,1,4,3,1,1,9,52,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507695717876967,0.0,0.0,0.15670384943689894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806497440483304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426829283788348,0.0,0.0,0.17983688284636054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19760573564023126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701233406797488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486125845307788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18861445925751316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37667420961344705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18720342961421887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3827758075306996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514950062970295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15991445738168328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17855865857448833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18592361614656944,0.0,0.12006369788452158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695400770177473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17494670810527485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001662094073237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14241287891567128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11771242544239705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19685668738924791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186173569292613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289912392151156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140999587729158
bipolarreddit,deadpres1dent,2019/03/30,"Who are you when on meds? Who are you as person with and without meds? I’m mostly referring to your behavior, how much do you change and how do you like it. Do you miss a trait you can’t maintain when on meds? ",1.1509999999999998,2.7366791555555565,2.695277777777779,95.77625000000003,79.66666666666667,6.277777777777778,20.13888888888889,7.1686216300943375,0.18488888888888866,162,4,39,2,4,53,30,45,0.036000000000000004,0.8959999999999999,0.068,0.3485,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,7,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,2,0,8,8,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,7,1,6,8,2,4,0,1,0,0,10,2,0,1,3,31,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759679164844446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274488501236834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8693097301126149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19177088828341876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277833110441023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514712357739796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Sociofunetic,2019/03/30,"There is a difference between anecdotal and established science Many of us share stories that are anecdotal. Thats great. When we sjare stories based on medical evidemce that is not anecdotal and should be co sidered and docs contacted. Minimizing something as anecdotal is dangerous and will only hurt if not kill the OP.

If your advice it told to you ny a doc snare it as such. If anecdotal say the same. The rece t benzos barb issues is not anecdotal. People fucking die. Lets get a grip.",3.689333333333334,6.652401488888887,4.7022222222222245,77.38000000000002,78.55555555555556,9.377777777777778,31.222222222222207,9.642632912329526,3.909022222222221,394,20,66,13,10,128,66,90,0.107,0.792,0.10099999999999999,-0.1668,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,2,2,0,0,3,6,3,0,6,0,9,2,0,0,0,13,12,10,2,4,6,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,5,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,2,4,2,6,7,1,2,0,1,0,1,8,1,1,3,1,44,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23941898028300296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542796204188734,0.2559812108867908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22650594638446103,0.1280065667582911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701221830351243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622861295125586,0.0,0.0,0.25572469510638485,0.0,0.0,0.2710650491189701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25053727801991266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24839965470902384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468197820975481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18633962315945735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698576966090494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19484019411679776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886191270678146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341156419238858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947144548668166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ManInAbstractland,2019/03/30,"The warm glow fades as it casts shadows of doubt That's the problem with becoming close to someone so quickly. The stars line up, and suddenly a light flickers in the ever present darkness. Everything is new. It is bright and exciting again. Life has meaning. It has purpose. 

Reality has it's own plans, to which remaining blissfully unaware can provide a temporary sense of comfort when staring into the face of eternity. Depending on others for happiness is a reliable way to perpetually avoid adressing the root causes that prevent you from finding it within yourself.

Even an otherwise functional and healthy relationship will crumble under the weight of one sides inability to truly form a connection, given they lack the emotional stability needed to build a solid foundation. 

You know by now that isn't the solution. Light cannot lift the darkness from outside the source. It will just burn out of control, leaving you with yet another fire to put out, and smoke further clouding your eyes.",7.330898176967539,9.573787745664744,7.197687861271678,67.16121831925302,64.60693641618496,10.640995998221433,41.053357047576704,10.727762888450028,5.309699333036906,812,48,117,23,13,258,125,173,0.11800000000000001,0.7559999999999999,0.126,0.3481,0,1,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,4,1,2,9,8,0,2,17,0,11,4,2,4,1,25,15,7,0,3,1,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,11,10,1,3,3,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,1,9,5,5,26,12,3,24,0,0,4,0,6,11,0,2,11,87,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294292330999113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416456777727072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22476626023198495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454010460408635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461187862799851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14451430064841725,0.1979157079846228,0.0,0.0,0.19664192227257726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19997780277203356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23291499916187025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024589602870504,0.0,0.0,0.2316759472472597,0.0,0.0,0.15454380299910453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383356351582004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16223626477426334,0.0,0.21131688882496816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14826347991679995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093605498323908,0.0,0.2199528564634752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349076326961476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185387201212882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17367201091211398,0.0,0.26643754525789604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dodged7,2019/03/30,Experiences with CBD oil? Does anyone benefit from CBD oil? What are your experiences? And if so what kind do you use? ,1.2304545454545457,3.675424318181818,3.1822727272727285,82.0434090909091,101.27272727272728,7.654545454545455,19.13636363636364,8.07648339933343,1.776418181818182,93,3,18,3,4,31,18,22,0.0,0.7240000000000001,0.276,0.8243,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,11,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26594885106660765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3328459563960369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7441085733226293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3960749340290807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3284993997997248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,exactlyimprecise,2019/03/30,Going off my antipsychotic (olanzapine) entirely? What are the stipulations of dropping my anti psychotic as someone with bipolar 1? I’ve already convinced my GP to let me get down to 7.5 mg. Already gained over 10 lbs in a month and have poor body image and terrible eating habits. Don’t see a PNP for another 3 weeks and I don’t want to wait until then. ,3.6378260869565215,5.742299666666671,5.483405797101451,76.23206521739135,74.07246376811594,8.657971014492754,30.34057971014493,9.2995712137729,3.0375101449275363,283,13,51,7,6,97,58,69,0.124,0.784,0.092,-0.504,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,5,3,1,0,0,6,10,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,1,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,5,1,12,9,0,10,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,4,30,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6151039133242898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.292240847739304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095724451468447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2851792846972201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456090465054503,0.0,0.15839141446007415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28498923993043906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224553746149436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22208751066413293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23614128030004086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164384254428936,0.0,0.22355602112705172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RoboWafe,2019/03/30,"Gotta keep occupied Ugh. I've been unemployed and out of school for two weeks now. I finished my masters program on the 17th and my last day of work was the 15th. I'm applying to a million jobs right now. But I have always done so much better with structure and routine. It's only been two weeks and I already feel myself slipping into a depressed episode. I realized today I hasn't gotten dressed or left my house in 5 days. I went for a 2 mile walk today, just to get dressed and out of the house. My sister (who I live with) even commented on the fact that I was dressed today. I can feel myself slipping but not sure what to do about it. I dont have any income so I cant go out and do much right now, nothing that costs money at least. And I dont have a car either to really go anywhere. I just dont want to get stuck in a depression right now when so much of my life needs to be changing. Any suggestions on creating some sort of structure and routine when I have no job, no classes, and no money? I'm thinking about trying to go walking everyday just to get out of the house. And also getting up and getting dressed even if I have nowhere to go. I want this mini vacation to be over already and back to an 8-5 job where things are predictable. I hate not having anything to do. ",2.620513643659713,3.9600861610486935,3.997035848047084,89.05134831460676,75.02996254681648,6.733654360620654,27.32102728731942,7.2636822038024595,1.3216150882825028,1003,39,214,11,21,331,139,267,0.11900000000000001,0.862,0.019,-0.9728,6,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,3,19,6,1,0,11,0,23,1,0,0,2,41,46,22,0,4,10,1,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,19,0,1,4,0,3,8,10,4,0,3,8,2,24,2,37,35,6,44,0,2,0,0,4,19,0,4,17,150,32,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21628787563828367,0.07836947822574626,0.08154272026059736,0.0,0.0,0.1332848735142562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064453195392486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753549062415683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667183465830702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366956858277553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640203312325266,0.0,0.16881217270224572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002866346869754,0.3445610340526987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12945435696695912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09910211537474166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560012272737418,0.0,0.222779545444713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675336978962493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33923182432904153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.291745590840735,0.08710569535760783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988197255154111,0.0,0.0,0.1064758107626894,0.0,0.06921933867690416,0.0,0.0,0.08653459588948653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21612083217867406,0.07266475095834611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403233958618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453238287161211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278043916286125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25107091323386543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09917985712630896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923625598759052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510594290971762,0.0627935724808229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786737604706489,0.0,0.0,0.06653464479921094,0.0,0.1914608660308623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560427566349442,0.0,0.15721719809714596,0.0,0.0,0.09084572250484776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134417819215426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,victorioushermit,2019/03/30,"Exhausted after psychotic episode I’m posting this because it’s the only place where I think other people will truly understand. Earlier this week I was in the middle of a manic episode and the voices convinced me to stop taking all of my meds. The day I stopped taking the last of them became, unsurprisingly, the worst. By the end of the day I was in a catatonic state, the voices were screaming so so loudly, I couldn’t move a muscle and I could barely utter more than one word at a time. 

With enough Haldol I was pulled out of the catatonia, and now I’m back on my meds, still beating down pushes toward hypomania, but I can feel my mood starting to dip before falling into a deep depression. And I am so deeply, profoundly, bone achingly tired that I can barely see my way past it. 

I just needed to share with others who would get it. Who would get how hard it is when you come out of mania",5.428844375963017,5.84662298870057,6.218787878787879,79.13662557781203,67.70056497175142,8.696250642013354,27.95531587057011,8.575989854853784,1.9718406779661013,707,21,134,10,11,233,116,177,0.135,0.8270000000000001,0.038,-0.9319,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,1,1,11,7,0,0,15,0,13,3,1,1,1,25,26,10,0,5,2,0,2,0,0,3,2,4,0,0,11,10,0,2,3,0,0,5,1,4,0,1,4,7,18,2,23,17,4,36,0,1,1,0,5,13,0,0,15,100,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097012006347927,0.0,0.10382910085553172,0.0,0.14493481412358872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467206997087421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599138879387762,0.0,0.0,0.2196922573475123,0.0,0.14670146663120429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15085821106205113,0.17599220792739306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08612190364596863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17797652811062514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15257857026876706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388383591433841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3783874031747748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18102949924797887,0.0,0.1262945126212308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154172524969913,0.12954053850215613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16259536487839155,0.1180825479540816,0.0,0.17795433597250945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16312515039060038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357277072865603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12055756392035324,0.0,0.1360225009513673,0.2848001941749275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561277913334322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913797305597978,0.0,0.0,0.09931841456785953,0.1957645908413945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17731529117708253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13519678849000485,0.1366251803486981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419892955283852,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,goodbyecrowpie,2019/03/30,"I need energy! So back in September I finally came out of a multi-year depression, and since then I’ve been getting CBT which has helped so much. But I’m still dealing with daily fatigue. I have a fairly light school/work schedule right now and it still tires me out. I feel like I’m really being held back by it and worried I won’t be able to go away to grad school. I’m exhausted from the moment I get up in the morning, and I’m finding it really hard to sit down and write. It’s mental as well as physical fatigue, hard to focus my brain on anything. I miss feeling “sharp”.

I’m dx’d BP2 + BPD + OCD tendencies, but I haven’t experienced true hypomania in a very long time—I’m more prone to mixed episodes/irritability. I *do* experience occasional psychotic episodes (paranoia, delusions, that make my brain feel like it's been electrocuted and often leaves me ""hungover""), but these (in addition to most of my self harm urges) seem to be a result of the BPD as opposed to the Bipolar. I’ve been on lamotrigine (225 mg) since 2012/2013 + went on bupropion (Wellbutrin) almost 2 years ago (200 mg). The bupro I went on to try to bring myself out of depression; it worked a bit, and I tolerate it, but nothing miraculous.

Now that I’m not in a depression, though, and I’m *still* so tired, I’m wondering what else to do. My doctor ran a bunch of bloodwork and my iron was kinda low, but taking iron supplements hasn’t fixed anything. I even tried taking Cytomel despite (hypo end of) normal thyroid testing, but it made me very ragey and I had to stop. My Dr’s temp suggested that maybe it’s the lamotrigine causing fatigue, which is interesting, and I might try bringing it down a titch, but a couple years ago I lowered it a bit (under supervision) and my self-harm urges went up. But I also want to try lowering it a bit for brain fog reasons (i.e., it gives me brain fog).

So! While that’s something I can try, I’m also wondering about energizing adjuncts. Wellbutrin is not giving me energy (or, if it is, I’d hate to see how I am without it)—(nor is it raising my libido or suppressing my cravings; it just seems to have given me tinnitus but I’m still worried about going off it because this is still the most stable/non-depressed I’ve been in years). Tbh at the end of last semester I turned to energy drinks in desperation, and—they don’t make me manic? Sometimes I barely feel them. Still, those are obviously not great to be using. 

So I’ve been looking into modafinil/armodafinil, and Vyvanse … I imagine I would stay on lamotrigine because I overall tolerate it and it seems to be doing *something* … 

Sorry this is rambly, and yes I’ve used search for past threads but—

**tl;dr – Any thoughts on adding modafinil/armodafinil** ***or*** **Vyvanse to lamotrigine? Any other ideas on ways to gain energy? Is this the lamotrigine? The bipolar itself? Something else??**

Thanks all!!",2.091316889632104,4.777837682971018,3.583594202898553,84.49574247491641,83.40217391304348,6.585328874024526,25.702452619843925,7.829281142172157,1.813645730211817,2259,95,423,44,65,742,274,552,0.122,0.802,0.076,-0.9746,2,0,4,0,0,0,115.0,0,0,1,2,25,19,1,0,21,1,34,16,4,9,3,80,84,42,0,5,18,0,7,2,0,3,11,0,0,1,33,22,1,4,14,1,0,9,8,11,1,0,16,11,41,8,64,60,9,66,0,8,2,0,8,28,0,15,28,255,74,6,0.06629898484598645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754009962825265,0.0,0.06638885645473631,0.0,0.0,0.10603854845634376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017116636866906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911683097726782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06229007869192826,0.10195965390892066,0.0,0.08083049159436803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217143960495866,0.0,0.1670025010150586,0.29604637391542565,0.0,0.07582837641271682,0.0,0.06810732033271907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335856570523841,0.0,0.0,0.06835134219755662,0.2284128739959759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06785982031839873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06494776486192448,0.0,0.0,0.11076858907779956,0.0,0.11744244398455525,0.0,0.0,0.04378985421015608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485312895714249,0.0,0.0,0.13409103519893506,0.09472801604227253,0.0,0.07262729723000097,0.06059607104184955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692769663846812,0.12720005498645598,0.07535848189735889,0.0,0.0,0.0730948648486775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878173594848382,0.06545652161418351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04443881201964354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484348395094738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05404252145711065,0.0,0.07020105213420222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647806702093402,0.0,0.0,0.058672515281314376,0.055674449444614936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273370250366223,0.0885101744095009,0.0,0.06660624146702936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681378303709894,0.07033274577989365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048737382320767735,0.04915985719191232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649589285417225,0.06361566405323335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328988292199886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494565474974122,0.0681663985020074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05661897080697367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13419622439602147,0.05283170716374674,0.18106831736416976,0.13832860093137408,0.0,0.0,0.10968641075881064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531205928293348,0.06557139127333349,0.07421628555724567,0.0,0.07066589648519395,0.31767872963936894,0.05542892000326993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09969717118742652,0.0,0.0,0.061039197696650976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513841599284953,0.05263398829924189,0.03865947122600755,0.1524018602115939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250632936538084,0.07211425727967724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452207218861547,0.0,0.1094072117786606,0.03910485900962896,0.052625048207015634,0.0,0.0,0.05961074956453308,0.1843794695200064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390985550673947,0.14379684188025074,0.09653290116995332,0.1346596746808165,0.0,0.04709689662378519,0.0,0.0,0.17077749017285088
bipolarreddit,Katietennyson,2019/09/21,"I live in the forest,the squirrels worship me The whole world is under my sway.",1.1156250000000014,3.6526993125000047,2.2800000000000007,92.965,87.125,3.2,20.5,3.1291,-0.36865000000000014,63,2,12,0,2,20,14,16,0.0,0.855,0.145,0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,2,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,9,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6203361257879972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7843360829659299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wandringstar,2019/09/21,"Lamictal and worsening depression? I’m going to keep it short because I don’t feel the need to belabor the point. I don’t feel like I have anyone to talk to. I’ve been taking a starter dose (25mg) of lamotrigine and I suspect it might be making my depression worse. It’s supposed to be acting as a mood stabilizer but since I’ve been taking it, it seems like things are getting worse instead of better. It’s early and treatment and a very small dose so idk if it’s just in my head?

Things are not looking great. I wish I felt better. I feel like a raw nerve and just existing feels painful. I wish I had a normal brain.",1.0983035714285734,3.3800191875000043,3.0022767857142867,89.82218750000001,83.6875,6.1571428571428575,22.424107142857146,7.447530270364453,0.9543107142857142,488,17,103,8,14,163,76,128,0.22899999999999998,0.654,0.11699999999999999,-0.9228,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,4,10,0,0,7,0,11,5,2,1,0,24,28,9,0,5,5,0,5,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,9,5,0,1,7,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,4,6,11,6,9,21,0,8,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,3,5,59,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10640584981658148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276582024033554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691767672978001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16988010442432508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621400314626502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077814973470141,0.2174308713102856,0.1461139948081397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950631604082539,0.0,0.08648582047918735,0.0,0.0,0.16777592117270987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15617772981570044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526210436195382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22303830729541774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12779053714226465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157947535339004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16143598098521114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11283747965287035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14910136433034138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619272903003957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14385665997260494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13853642479471576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12588256810711276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288366599885227,0.12231428425607935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20219956475368367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556214295698673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34999258333468336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101631740350822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CyborgSunset,2019/09/21,"I've Had Steady Employment, Even 2 Jobs at Once, for Over a Year and Starting a New Position, Gave my Two Weeks, Staying on as PRN, So Still Holding Down 2 Jobs at Once! Lamictal 150

Abilify 5

Pristiq 50

Adderall 60 a day, IR

My combo works well enough that I haven't had a major episode in over a year, and in that time I have held down multiple jobs and applied to better ones, and finally got a new position where I'm not in direct care. I have been doing direct care for kids in the foster care system for years, and I've wanted to keep doing work in the system without having to deal one on one with the kids, so I am now going to work as a campus wellness coordinator at a facility for kids in the foster care system with severe behavioral issues. Still helping the group of people that I want to help, but supporting from a different angle. 

Thank the gods!",9.413212221304708,6.0795883063583815,9.668224607762179,69.76502890173411,61.89017341040464,12.660280759702726,37.43104872006606,10.608840637214634,3.7537603633360863,679,22,132,12,7,229,102,173,0.055,0.838,0.107,0.8261,5,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,4,9,9,0,0,15,0,10,0,0,0,0,15,25,10,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,7,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,4,6,0,7,9,31,19,2,34,0,0,0,0,8,16,0,0,13,87,10,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10375114745773333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4784213865915868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565523465165819,0.12094144209538707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256396477354205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12121257206209965,0.0,0.07748213783448353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12850735303923005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666996712693304,0.0,0.09382351040852843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572608185257738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244114485654653,0.34923617268276563,0.104270503550364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265974264584969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2498626080408609,0.23847684281464554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132797196944895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13252689058310185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.083032610229856,0.12503683399779986,0.18736780898205144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13312197927779745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080032718661418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840439485745185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11459480823421933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13838493552597358,0.0,0.09409899286760566,0.0,0.2109515273565268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308263803734332,0.0,0.256209195791688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22663134996572576
bipolarreddit,Unknownentityexe,2019/09/21,"Today’s the first day of working again and I’m nervous I’ve been unemployed for 4 months prior to today. I’m nervous to start working again because I’m afraid I’ll make mistakes and look like an idiot. Gosh, wish me luck.",1.3956521739130423,3.735654217391304,2.8762608695652183,90.82743478260872,82.91304347826087,4.5495652173913035,24.417391304347824,5.6839178017228535,0.5695443478260875,178,7,35,1,5,58,34,46,0.19899999999999998,0.637,0.163,-0.2023,2,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,2,7,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,6,8,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,1,1,1,2,4,7,0,9,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,10,13,1,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831761091867105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937913965727019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555969115213567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14680439133047635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523361872288145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005796210312692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.239848505485818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126885941416868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5696593733015316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3455490367753845,0.0,0.0,0.43752106157051657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwaway-accountl,2019/09/21,"Does xanax really cause mania? My doctor is not available so I’m asking here, and I’m also just curious about other people’s experiences anyway. I was prescribed xanax for anxiety and panic and I just now noticed the warning section says it might cause mania. I’m already hypomanic because of bipolar, so this might be an issue. Has anyone experienced mania or increased manic symptoms while taking xanax? I would be taking the smallest possible dose (half of .25mg just to how I tolerate it) if this helps give context.",4.720514619883044,7.453214431578949,6.040350877192985,70.55690058479536,73.10526315789474,7.590643274853799,30.555555555555557,8.515128840125781,3.0480994152046788,421,19,60,8,9,141,70,95,0.078,0.8440000000000001,0.078,0.0926,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,11,1,0,1,3,0,8,7,0,3,0,15,15,10,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,3,7,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,2,5,0,5,9,2,4,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,4,2,45,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21065507339353046,0.15265699141699948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603255389965378,0.0,0.0,0.13347676137856276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.178459102502601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636654632851196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3921992055463571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19538698254003076,0.16705167222762846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18672989577280044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18312187393157006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795149393915586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992426028413186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40501442259087816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173328436315795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239717000879584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323411083584983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21520307420151544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222908864447669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15180570416865186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19841082541475236,0.2870554232930485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560484650776766,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hsaoac,2019/09/21,"Thoughts are just thoughts?? Hi all, I don’t have bipolar (so I hope it’s okay to post this here), but my SO does. As the SO to someone that has bipolar, what advice would you give to me to remember (or not take seriously) that thoughts are just thoughts? That they have no meaning unless acted upon? Or what do you tell yourself when you’re having these thoughts? 

He’s currently in an episode, and is having ruminating thoughts about past (girls, problems), wanting to be a hoe, wanting to manipulate me. It obviously messes with my own self worth.. that I tend to forget he’s in an episode. 

Idk all, this is hard but he deserves to be loved too! I’m just wanting to gather as much knowledge as I can to make our relationship, and myself stronger! So any advice is appreciated! He’s medicated (lamotrigine & lithium), goes to therapy/psychiatrist, exercise, does all that Jazz. I do the same.",3.7950000000000017,6.056853738095239,4.722047619047622,81.15628571428573,74.11904761904762,7.575238095238094,31.43809523809524,8.447377352677275,2.5505566666666666,700,34,132,13,15,227,102,168,0.049,0.8440000000000001,0.107,0.9199,1,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,1,2,1,0,11,6,0,0,5,1,17,5,0,2,4,35,34,15,0,6,9,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,12,3,0,0,9,2,1,1,3,3,0,0,6,1,14,3,20,25,6,8,0,0,0,1,16,3,0,3,3,92,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767481319455992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15342818090512664,0.0,0.09629576790395868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24783772370483725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13583973087657136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268496231861854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14064500358160642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12780339353824874,0.0,0.09452195813048353,0.0,0.0,0.1542485763383061,0.0,0.14265141707222775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409544082015676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351773104854311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356177595765113,0.0,0.0,0.1354961742570125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15203000545986878,0.16041004794438585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14772414937282274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998084902179705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10646879755435244,0.0,0.12376838434866864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6745078976223008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505656239409586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059161944824456,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cryingwhiledoingmath,2019/09/21,"Therapist is questioning my bipolar disorder During the summer I lived in a different state (STATE A) for my internship. At the end of July I began seeing my current therapist. I saw her 3 times in July and then I had to go home to my home state (STATE B) for all of August before I went back to state A at which is where my school is located. I didn’t see her all of August. So far I have seen her 2 times (this includes yesterday). So in total I have seen her 5 times. I apologize for this long intro. I think it will help with the rest of this post. 


Anyways, yesterday at the start of our session she tells me that what I have told her doesn’t fit in with the typical bipolar patient. She said that most bipolar patients she has had have had trouble with sleep and in their manic episodes they can go days without it. 

I’m not upset because she wants to reevaluate the diagnosis. I’m upset because she have only seen me five times, I haven’t even talked about my depressive episode in August, and she doesn’t know me well enough to come to this conclusion. I’m not attached to the diagnosis and if a year or so from now she said this to me I would be more open to understanding it but she literally said this the fifth time we met and it was because I’ve never told her about my relationship with sleep. 

I told her how I felt about this. I feel like I now have to “prove” my diagnosis to her which is weird and unfair to me. She apologized but I don’t think I will continue seeing her because a level of trust is broken. 

Has anyone gone through this? Am I valid in feeling this way?",4.069952004517218,4.875390512422364,5.179672501411633,83.99586109542633,70.8944099378882,8.587464709203841,27.67984189723321,8.841846274778883,1.9354608695652176,1243,42,261,22,22,411,154,322,0.055,0.872,0.07200000000000001,0.5013,2,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,2,0,2,1,14,8,0,2,13,0,28,5,2,1,5,38,60,15,0,3,7,0,3,1,0,3,3,3,2,0,18,13,0,0,10,0,0,5,9,5,1,1,20,13,55,3,41,36,7,51,0,1,7,0,36,15,0,4,25,188,73,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852187625247185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08635078406214809,0.0,0.27382503010602605,0.0,0.09555793971485732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967354038604849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07242338429996907,0.0,0.09672272317175597,0.0,0.0,0.11732826106471615,0.12870406247590468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946333408801394,0.1160345973264222,0.0,0.07417224559023933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11356321428352828,0.08022622816284693,0.10782438220131743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12764390125103786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075271465007413,0.0,0.2252895453154005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06171643976714754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05486348227157474,0.0,0.09916182736136576,0.09938083355923573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661169602944767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08540823710074033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755113173643653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580026741482986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056679889244733,0.0,0.0,0.3204653972295144,0.0,0.0,0.11365230020423367,0.2684626219508299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247596420235635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948561216939673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902614575121683,0.09815403123791966,0.0,0.0,0.26077493919488365,0.0,0.14391297098559122,0.0,0.0,0.32741143421061897,0.0,0.0,0.3219187188757458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169069281751288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06623669474471959,0.08913749703472773,0.0,0.0,0.10097003601106623,0.10410203871580948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082519589020046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977378883593816,0.0,0.0,0.07231669396291095
bipolarreddit,frijole_,2019/10/12,"Seroquel taking my Patience? I (23F) have my family visiting me. And I’m really happy and excited! It’s awesome. I have three little brothers, 11, 10, and a 4 year old. I haven’t seen them since I started on the Seroquel. And I’m noticing that I’m way more irritable and less patient with my brothers and my parents. Did anybody else notice this when on Seroquel?",1.9138380281690144,4.4676367746478896,4.158573943661973,81.05504401408452,82.66197183098592,6.366901408450705,30.00176056338028,7.645422480735847,2.4089000000000005,285,15,50,5,8,98,49,71,0.048,0.7909999999999999,0.161,0.8408,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,7,10,7,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,1,10,2,3,8,2,9,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,0,4,32,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.219767427370749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24800597864402865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.280050805899934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636726881395426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5990307735374962,0.27605549830402365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921163422190014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16853413197817832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176203607059064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18620755219746088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19780147973730186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20881861105217245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16941323339308878
bipolarreddit,summsipwr,2019/10/12,"I think my meds are getting less effective I’ve had to call out of work for a lot of depressive episodes lately. They used to happen infrequently or not at all. I’ve been on this dosage for a couple years now, is it time to up my dosage (lamictal 200mg, latuda 40mg)",3.1483928571428565,4.030262767857145,4.620000000000001,86.875,73.10714285714286,8.457142857142857,24.714285714285715,8.841846274778883,1.4931214285714285,209,6,47,4,4,70,45,56,0.05,0.897,0.054000000000000006,0.0534,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,2,1,8,8,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,4,0,11,6,3,8,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,2,4,29,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3272852361288637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35464763636539626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760621241001016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16745769322707582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834334609911448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3615588415209852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724933764349038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3560238102995588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20537532005426345,0.0,0.0,0.18689692146558126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768250839074101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333412935646701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20640341264841328
bipolarreddit,Xsyther,2019/10/12,"If I could ride this wave forever, I probably would I’m just being honest guys. This feeling of hypomania before things get way too out of control, well, it’s incredible. The creativity surges, the excess of motivation, the confidence all of it. It’s times like these that make me oddly grateful to be someone who deals with bp. But now that I’ve acknowledged the state that I’m in. It’s time to take the measures towards grounding myself, just wanted to post how I feel in the moment somewhere where people would understand.",7.01850340136054,7.707088265306123,7.275918367346942,71.98931972789119,64.3061224489796,10.206802721088435,33.68027210884354,10.125756701596842,3.4804231292517014,422,17,72,9,6,137,71,98,0.0,0.7959999999999999,0.204,0.9565,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,7,3,0,0,6,0,5,0,0,4,1,19,14,3,0,5,4,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,12,2,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,5,3,12,9,1,14,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,1,5,50,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053184883360906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27062523589284576,0.19264899563796511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487575415142245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24400512983910946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12606312683376172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23891325543151154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788122764541176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16106174858618744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16727885837099274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310873994652225,0.0,0.2601494920755025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20444271069405467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18141869934921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16030115999958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28139418215448925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511895279508769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14231803320525582,0.1915233438460952,0.0,0.0,0.21694707130452595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34280843185845106,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mifesa,2019/10/12,"what are your manic episodes like? if you are comfortable sharing, what are your manic episodes like?",5.538823529411764,9.079973764705883,2.995588235294118,88.72514705882355,76.05882352941177,5.752941176470588,32.029411764705884,7.1686216300943375,2.2356117647058817,82,4,13,1,2,22,10,17,0.0,0.531,0.469,0.8875,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,9,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,my_big_breakthrough,2019/10/12,"""Really? Are you sure?"" [short rant] I feel like I'm pretending. I'm on the mend, truly, but I guess I just wasn't good enough at being ill for some people. It makes me feel as if I need to go back and deliberately make things worse. To shun people more. To SH again, but make sure everyone knows. To go crazy and spend all my money and stay up for three days straight. 

Arrrrgh this never leaves, does it? When I was going through the deep depression, I wasn't good enough because I didn't post sad things to my story, and because I could still laugh and look people in the eye. Never mind that I would go home and crash and sleep and make dumb excuses to skip my commitments. When I was hypomanic, or mixed, I wasn't good enough because I'd never end up in hospital, or complete a novel, or see dark clowns in the edges of my vision. 

No, I'm just some guy making excuses to be unreliable, and I've got my psychiatrist and psychologist under my illusion of illness. 

/rant",3.9015611192930777,5.037882278350517,4.959646539027983,84.1854639175258,71.57731958762886,8.429455081001473,24.68188512518409,8.841846274778883,1.5622235640648017,758,21,159,14,14,249,117,194,0.185,0.698,0.11800000000000001,-0.9617,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,0,0,7,10,1,0,5,0,11,4,2,5,7,40,31,19,0,4,8,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,1,1,6,10,0,0,3,2,2,4,8,3,0,1,7,5,19,7,21,20,7,27,0,2,3,0,4,11,1,7,11,97,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09053913329729596,0.0,0.2153299576561671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345406898311904,0.0,0.0,0.09401031679077318,0.0,0.0,0.0759362004201016,0.0,0.10141415183702758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304000775164801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428769305333573,0.3649881812378412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11251101004560213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907147233643744,0.08411751259082413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676702548904941,0.2962783828377233,0.09417194888501146,0.0,0.12971010315469286,0.11658670087665425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11810848271578987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06470992738978154,0.0,0.0,0.12467563733526685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05752457477357584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09887668712611301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3929806630271224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888953632996138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08730690410445116,0.2724381015326233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448900148549254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276778037767393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543087548417039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382803479295976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783067988345093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12550119142540786,0.0940318245039276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22194775462864452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15644994964634132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11999287194077395,0.08364312819498064,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,strawsandink,2019/10/12,"Does anyone else have physical symptoms tied to your emotions? I tend to get this strange feeling in my chest when I'm feeling that awful combo of hatefulness/irritability/hypomania or just straight up depression. My hypomania makes me energetic and angry most of the time. I sometimes get euphoria, but it's pretty rare and usually short lived. The feeling in my chest is really hard to describe, it's kind of like the feeling you get from anxiety, but more negative.  This feeling is strongly linked to my moods, I get it most often when depressed, but it came up again today and I'm not currently depressed.  

This feeling in my chest makes it very uncomfortable to be alone, I feel desperate, hollow, and emotionally raw.  Does anyone know what this might be?  I'm going to bring it up with my doctor next time I see him, but no one has been able to give me an answer as of yet.  Last time I tried explaining it they diagnosed me with BPD, which I was told recently by several different doctors was a misdiagnosis.",6.60579365079365,7.488889645502652,7.284775132275136,70.88684523809523,65.24338624338624,10.956084656084657,35.32671957671958,10.864195022040775,4.110357671957671,809,37,141,22,12,268,117,189,0.18600000000000005,0.696,0.11800000000000001,-0.9607,2,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,1,1,6,7,0,0,5,1,10,7,3,2,0,31,35,12,0,0,7,0,8,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,14,7,0,0,11,0,0,3,3,3,0,1,5,9,20,3,22,27,3,24,0,3,1,0,7,8,0,5,14,93,34,2,0.11910402552019655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12335585054422707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911142535208966,0.0,0.0,0.1665606079005021,0.12203614920799545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15000735070861582,0.0,0.0,0.13622327552066635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30775236796712124,0.12088807878295825,0.0,0.12443835666899734,0.0,0.2438160339792231,0.20845747072117654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09949613022737762,0.26795199549331106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4215580178499238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489077499877397,0.11425543415537227,0.06768956245647292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10669381245132224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240285143580343,0.06545645758653926,0.09708567740148642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0581882106924581,0.0,0.10517103662123578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900572378529293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12635054922384778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12666848234643854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070797012889326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12117161262413502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630108858111319,0.0,0.1176008563844926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09491048788942916,0.0,0.0,0.13455364722480995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779692672152113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12379468663235475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2083515452700835,0.0,0.11289668972498168,0.11380900047542937,0.0,0.0808638151346459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117625722051546,0.09827329463678804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RandomSandwichs,2019/10/12,"Thanksgiving dinner Too much. 

Tried going for a walk.

Still going nuts? 

Help?",2.2957692307692312,2.68548761538462,2.015961538461536,86.39778846153845,134.38461538461542,4.3769230769230765,10.942307692307693,5.985473137389443,-0.10929230769230712,61,1,9,1,4,18,12,13,0.15,0.6509999999999999,0.19899999999999998,0.1926,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.618222124138324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36456489129368425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3998292861621809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43435946444779744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36927258608457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,firstdateCrangrape,2019/10/12,"Who am I ? After just recently being diagnosed bipolar I finally feel like it all makes sense. I’ve been seeing myself as two versions of myself, the happy having a good week me and the depressed me. I’m very much an over thinker and I’m kinda kicking myself in the ass for not figuring it out. But now I’m here and I’m thinking, is my whole life going to be me calculating where Im at as far as emotions. I’m frustrated and I feel like I don’t have control over myself. Who am I if I’m not on top of the world or feeling hopeless ? I just want to know the real me.",0.2877994955863841,2.3006685491803296,3.1585245901639354,89.13256620428754,84.81967213114754,5.7210592686002535,22.499369482976046,7.010146845296331,0.8004191677175285,441,16,95,6,13,156,79,122,0.122,0.763,0.11599999999999999,-0.4122,0,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,0,2,5,7,1,0,7,0,9,4,1,2,1,25,24,10,0,2,7,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,7,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,1,4,15,4,15,21,4,16,0,2,1,1,2,10,1,3,7,68,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333866191785018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17922453262803775,0.21120334082198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340692200498488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156442457822533,0.29731396667696874,0.0,0.22794850700602504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11826031047488625,0.174533020392177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215118683776952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22476904641797466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143588570504952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14697759556796428,0.2033210324529184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13889930426293204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15296746483926255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368479071531331,0.0,0.0,0.20546024059596613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16581793939566966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13333337874598164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20327020073051968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716930928990688,0.1227347645844084,0.0,0.16691437826435704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23232106191285354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,scholl247,2019/10/12,How do I survive financially while be being Bipolar? I have been unable to hold a job and support myself with this condition. Is there any financial assistance out there for this situation? Does anyone get permanent disability for being bipolar? I don’t know how to survive.,5.251874999999998,8.433995437500002,6.5915,64.90350000000001,73.79166666666666,9.673333333333334,34.6,9.888512548439397,4.68262,223,12,31,7,5,75,37,48,0.0,0.9279999999999999,0.07200000000000001,0.5007,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,1,0,8,2,0,2,0,7,11,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,6,7,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,27,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816865956368901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28963512529005675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3624903055471756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21641499830629454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4110535082197936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22764673512053665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4656052491430169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4700566053878445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rhdscait,2019/10/12,"Hypomania out of nowhere or side effect? So yesterday I was feeling really low.  I've been sleeping a lot less over the past week but I figured it was normal.  I upped my dose of lamictal last night to 50mg.  Within an hour, my right foot couldn't stop moving and I felt like I was crawling in my skin. I finally had a beer to pass out.   I woke up at 7 am and I've been cleaning all morning, listening to techno music dancing etc. I'm not hungry and even while sitting here to type this I can't stop shaking my legs.  I can't and don't want to sit still.  I can usually tell when mania or hypomania is approaching but this is out of nowhere.  Could this be a side effect of the upped dose instead?  My husband came in and asked if I was ok, I was spinning and dancing and he just slowly backed away and closed the door behind him.",1.2639398084815312,3.2901278837209316,3.1744870041039697,90.32372777017784,81.2093023255814,6.140082079343365,23.489740082079344,7.285733465282438,0.9209147742818056,644,23,139,9,17,216,109,172,0.011000000000000001,0.884,0.106,0.8986,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,8,4,0,1,7,1,18,7,4,2,1,33,26,16,0,5,7,1,3,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,4,13,1,2,5,4,0,7,5,2,0,0,11,4,18,2,22,12,4,40,0,1,0,0,6,17,0,4,15,96,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933771323962704,0.0,0.19434269070274116,0.15905513285495015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365816677893727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16515315402670153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23069279229529596,0.13662268970267447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458974015975153,0.0,0.1986087517594549,0.22659442175299646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20370590463010396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16861062392102075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105662104133352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17585675042560098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21984916131707374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19411501885463453,0.2026694013408163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19746204210393115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13251361576550733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17664904849242194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20699971118246974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16519093782304015,0.34587226994716785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807963025276076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22781641088118715,0.0,0.12200568178873432,0.0,0.16592285477909802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,warmremy,2019/10/12,"Most people are only comfortable with consistent behavior. Bipolar is personality at two extremes but you’d be surprised how many people are accepting of that once it’s explained that way. Being bipolar is way less stressful when the people around us accept us. I’ve been successful explaining the way I am in terms that fit into the constructs neurotypicals live with. I’m on the ceiling right now. I’m telling everyone around me that and they’re expecting Hurricane Remy.

There are upsides to me right now. Sometimes people need a little crazy to let loose and I’m the perfect, enabling friend. Others need to get off the crazy train while I’m like this. I accept them and they return the favor. That makes it easier to accept myself. The destructive behaviors don’t go away but they’re much less destructive when I’m not hating myself or surrounded by people who don’t understand me.",5.730825861255307,7.920040374233128,6.022699386503072,74.21521000471922,68.57055214723924,9.18716375648891,30.32987258140632,9.661875296680813,3.2400197262859844,723,29,115,17,13,231,104,163,0.11599999999999999,0.636,0.248,0.9792,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,2,1,2,3,8,15,3,1,9,0,13,2,0,2,1,26,27,10,0,3,4,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,10,8,0,0,7,0,0,1,3,4,0,1,1,0,12,11,16,22,5,24,0,0,0,0,11,13,0,2,8,78,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25598879866643925,0.0,0.0,0.13508574342785767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738764693229694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108382503648198,0.0,0.07511894914104553,0.0,0.0817133062316922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195266838857631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14702446540145805,0.0,0.07024348964354067,0.1441050128429066,0.12696009266807948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09597405367049353,0.14577002962648272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056946091863226,0.21322162357252972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15312066801997967,0.0,0.1093509265154182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4983936369797166,0.12554287178558485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455741242969827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14220178114665008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16469913903714886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566977871735954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14045185653049488,0.1496797187950736,0.3458985067238733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3423768556368552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,intuitivelogic,2019/10/12,"Have always denied my diagnosis . I sincerely do not think I am bipolar,  because It doesnt seem like I match the criteria,  although  aspects of my nature  align with the disorder , it seems to be in a very shallow way ..

I was dealing with alot of mental illness issues  when I was younger, and my father took me to his friend who was a psychiatrist,  and within 5 minutes he considered me to be bipolar,  and he came to this conclusion by asking me shallow questions without allowing me to explain why I felt those ways , and because of this I'm just not convinced ...


So I want to ask you all if this sounds like bipolar , so I can be more confident about the idea of labeling myself so :

I feel sick sometimes , in a way that is rather debilitating,  it's hard to think clearly and my ability to express myself is limited , like the borders of my vocabulary are severely reduced and conversation becomes challenging as I grasp for words to express myself with a limited selection. I can feel this way often , and eventually it starts to effect my moods , because I have to try harder to be what I consider "" myself "" and it starts to wear me out . I usually feel like this half the day, then feel normal eventually ,  and go weeks or months dealing with this , and eventually it makes me sluggish. Like a mind fog , were I need to try hard to be as competent as I know I can be but I cant reach . I am always competing with myself , trying to be that other version of me , that version that seems like a super hero I can't believe I was ..

I'm never really sad though in thinking , just aware of the way I feel and it gets frustrating,  and feeling trapped brings in negative thinking but I'm not really sad, I'm tolerating my existence .

When I feel good , I just feel clean and lucid , and have good energy, and I start doing more things and the experiences I have propell me to a place were I feel amazing , my ideal self , and the longer I feel this way the more I can develope into that version of myself I love . But my moods seem to be dictated by my life and the way I perceive it , and when this sickness hits and how long it burdens me ..

For instance I was ontop of the world for about 5 months  and it was because I  had so many hobbies and was feeling great every day,  but then I got Injured and my lifestyle has been flipped upside down and I'm now starting to feel that debilitating feeling again , but its tolerable,  and it doesnt make me depressed,  I just deal with it and eventually feel better ...

I usaully wake up fine initially , then feel sick for 2- 5 hours then feel much better 

This may go on for weeks , or  just hit me every now and then ...


It doesnt feel like an emotional thing.. it's more of an energy thing , I feel sluggish and sick and that takes a toll on me , then I feel fine with normal energy , start loving my life and become really energetic because of the time I'm having .

It's not really an up and down emotionally thing , more like feeling normal then feeling sick , and if I feel sick too long it starts to take its toll .. 

What do you guys think ?

I'm never  impulsive ,and  even while I feel sick I'm never overly  negative , I just complained about the actual feeling often but I view everything else the same, and try and be myself ...",6.763468079174796,6.185126992101113,7.516064027506736,74.33619250069697,65.01895734597157,10.66980763869529,34.41543536846018,10.125756701596842,3.3403982343648355,2538,100,485,51,34,850,251,633,0.129,0.713,0.158,0.9711,0,1,0,0,1,0,77.0,0,2,0,12,26,33,1,0,26,0,44,18,2,5,5,133,113,66,0,9,22,1,27,8,1,1,14,1,1,2,43,45,0,2,42,0,0,5,15,6,0,1,15,29,76,25,66,86,12,62,0,3,1,2,23,16,0,13,42,350,119,1,0.0,0.0,0.050549378923942415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620358647430111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685211305728804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15788415585205193,0.11441817637023705,0.0,0.058360920625162176,0.0,0.09162587377482916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0592454602880956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668134970114128,0.1602107385668982,0.0446153092542969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059367347830459036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043272296967422484,0.11653617377381705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03421344609185397,0.0,0.0872875565798435,0.0,0.04655454703710697,0.05067039092696124,0.0,0.0,0.6285999102206152,0.07401193561176321,0.0497361736654457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04002059201156155,0.0,0.02706338942617162,0.0,0.0588783270568932,0.08689485268229755,0.04142923395283578,0.057109740673938314,0.0,0.051290195897994835,0.0,0.0,0.09280534481952546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05101261731723891,0.0,0.0,0.05847595406902245,0.0,0.05406579666042665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02846795412693183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317581788121635,0.20245511276330247,0.0,0.0,0.09168283269530313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09350313945366452,0.0,0.06915387446158064,0.052517122823946466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05220226934673012,0.0,0.05230328641889336,0.0,0.08269261529603877,0.0,0.03807899872621477,0.03840908252050417,0.11985418141705165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522591595656442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05412002970983101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058027913720121824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13273776001032964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886272890321687,0.054038751855783815,0.05851931494678031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0512315763768345,0.0,0.21998606233867635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789438566206171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13765461249447014,0.16595691001237567,0.05089328850889938,0.0,0.030205027136715714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575517642204488,0.14067534141995452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057050439494974826,0.042740468194811934,0.030553013016087906,0.28781529367276465,0.08310175505613776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04674149033500944,0.0,0.0,0.04993340205300067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Breadcrumbsandbows,2019/10/12,"I'm on lamictal and occasionally it makes my legs kind of jerk - does anyone else get this? It doesn't happen all the time, but it feels like theres a sort of thrumming in my body that makes me want to convulse or kick. It's most often when I'm trying to have a lie-in in the morning.",5.7681720430107495,3.821213451612909,6.7441935483870985,83.51962365591399,67.70967741935485,9.556989247311831,28.731182795698928,7.793537801064563,1.4553053763440862,222,5,53,2,3,75,48,62,0.032,0.8859999999999999,0.08199999999999999,0.4317,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,4,0,2,2,2,2,1,11,10,4,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,2,7,10,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,4,3,30,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21774926171826756,0.31908242564598904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3459128987933422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725221822936006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601480526989691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15746125314862972,0.2224756053552818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16270197220990704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753840818230187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3242917731137087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521420950451701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4157451080379004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18158913535955426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21143097719492093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18368118628427327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nwonknurepus,2019/10/12,"""stop bitching others have it worse"" DAE have to deal with this every time they open up about their problems? I mean it's true some people have it much worse than me but how is that going to make me feel better? I remember a song which goes like ""thinking of others that have it worse won't make you feel better, unless you're cynical...""
Result: shitty relationship with family, cutting friendships, no possibility to talk about my issues with people unless they have mental disorders. Which is why I spend half my day on Reddit.
Hugs.",5.8611255411255385,7.348950696969702,5.897431457431459,77.97090909090913,67.28282828282829,8.08138528138528,24.24386724386725,8.418075326091056,1.5613018759018753,425,10,73,6,7,134,70,99,0.191,0.638,0.17,0.2982,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,3,2,3,9,3,0,1,0,8,1,0,4,1,20,15,4,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,11,4,0,1,5,1,1,1,2,4,0,1,0,3,11,5,14,14,2,7,0,0,0,1,7,3,1,1,4,51,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30551842214795905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11139186642453536,0.17806954171920958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19795520292493632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455263424006251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16282760997658705,0.0,0.17466759553539765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816230307031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18027764655712006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438359720208112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305875157364583,0.0,0.0,0.18814567920099384,0.0,0.0,0.17406387853446142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12697107409199135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394883746487899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947189165150826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652723178385076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18543956330230546,0.1956611732672792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14440392925196774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13882798098519153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067374575032014,0.0,0.0,0.10071600795233863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15585539092473216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5280576282133076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HafuriYuki,2019/10/12,"Stuck in a loop of stress and depression It's my fault. Taking two jobs while I'm studying was a horrible idea and I should have seen it coming. 

Now I've fallen into this routine in which I'm working, stressed, and anxious (short breath, chest pains, etc.) all weekdays because there's so much work to do. I have no friends, all my ""friends"" are from work and I can only talk about work with them (again, my fault). So there's no time for myself and my personal life. I'm just a vessel for work. Then Saturday comes and I try to give myself a break by watching a TV show or playing a videogame, but... I just don't care. My energy and interest is 0. I've exhausted myself mentally, I become negative, and make myself miserable.

What's the point of working so hard then? Is it because it's the only thing I know how to do? 

Sorry, I just needed to rant.",1.990872093023256,3.9749246569767465,3.4211046511627927,89.68188953488372,78.59302325581395,6.625581395348838,24.12209302325581,7.645422480735847,1.1581558139534884,659,23,138,10,16,216,104,172,0.268,0.6890000000000001,0.044000000000000004,-0.9879,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,1,6,12,13,0,3,8,0,11,5,2,2,2,25,24,17,0,2,5,0,1,0,2,1,3,0,0,1,8,12,0,0,2,3,0,3,4,8,0,1,3,3,18,5,15,20,4,16,0,2,2,0,6,5,0,1,7,92,26,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540357947081054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662344232197971,0.15058698775156554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901710468861128,0.0,0.0,0.2349055389049761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174373730004101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520654091334815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210686119644294,0.0,0.0,0.13079858452619686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214210859641887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15392165927656887,0.0,0.0,0.13530554984807536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493395884151748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630747788998947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910141550659096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13740793192304032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002323563735454,0.10110121000964614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20739943353116846,0.14508517057733486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11905486913517455,0.0,0.0,0.12889407345785767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15263177520974167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31237511402849955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251763549921286,0.10959232852236844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058435514028784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795063196384851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09257216199114514,0.0,0.13319336383820388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5955830837297161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wys_help,2019/10/12,"Sudden bouts of mania while on regular medication. Is this regular? I’m in a relationship with a guy diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. He’s on medication which reduces his symptoms significantly but not completely. Every few months he totally wants to cut off from me for a week or so. This literally includes not acknowledging me or my friends in public. Not even being civil really. He’s also very manic at this point, going out and drinking excessively. A lot of times it frightens people off and when he’s back to his usual self, he’s usually lost one more friend.
 I’ve learnt to see it when it’s coming on and it’s better now than the initial times which totally devastated me... but it never really hurts any less. I know this isn’t really something he chooses to do because once he’s back, he’s the sweetest person on earth. Is this usual and is there any way I could help him and deal with it better myself?",4.24007575757576,6.399653613636367,5.948500000000003,73.31316666666667,72.52272727272727,9.238787878787877,27.64242424242424,9.725611199111238,2.970904242424242,740,28,128,20,15,253,109,176,0.091,0.7809999999999999,0.127,0.8325,0,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,3,9,7,1,0,6,0,7,5,0,0,3,26,14,14,0,2,7,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,3,13,10,1,0,3,1,0,2,5,3,0,1,1,1,10,4,22,11,6,29,0,2,1,0,20,11,0,3,15,88,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10715970971160398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18224911889286147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20607537681777646,0.0,0.08168512433631424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23702412858747546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542908972211427,0.14049639564057906,0.0,0.0,0.10698805451231178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13814806209468602,0.0,0.13600712617372845,0.0,0.0,0.15357554920179906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13126893437034728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850570162992559,0.0,0.112900735253621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20705605428455176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615525827150296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326810156013249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981734030269346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14344971539709805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364286681932736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146276772057245,0.11392196359659178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699816994674263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069574797689261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033490204515645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427055709470725,0.0908018324640073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289869152386147,0.11700358565676655,0.0,0.0,0.1266732631267101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575313931610075,0.0,0.0,0.1438657956805128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067806092341294,0.0,0.13979116968694752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315970633525832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927725325731105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15627289413108658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4427460328529058,0.1105639904094317,0.07903664093459864,0.10636292124924104,0.10748667524130036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,duchgkis99,2019/10/12,"Night Owls. Summer seasonal depression. Other odd stuff. I know many people (I’m excess of us suffering from Bipolar) have seasonal depression, usually starting in the late autumn months.  For me, it is the opposite.  I tend to come alive in the fall and do great until the spring.  Summer is a shitshow for me.  My sleep gets turned around, to the point where I am basically agoraphobic if it is light out.  Anyone else experience this?  It is almost like too might light messes kicks off and sustains an episode.",3.0351811594202864,6.096289402173916,3.945652173913043,80.42942028985509,84.32608695652175,7.41449275362319,23.971014492753625,8.344100000000001,2.207844927536232,403,15,68,10,12,129,71,92,0.126,0.787,0.08800000000000001,-0.5984,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,7,0,8,2,1,0,0,9,15,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,2,7,2,12,14,0,21,0,3,0,0,1,7,0,3,13,45,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20568647181099145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362607117515785,0.2104648016481801,0.0,0.18285669652645972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176940830544485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35383527204202264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715920524284666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20092846892448948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10731721823788964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.226463079213848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11288688189483545,0.0,0.2317092057916417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035198833403003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082515032604615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179054604157691,0.0,0.0,0.16395473055205942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19276152227168555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424040653382957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941769829371364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055563741165897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14538886149556804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351430519319335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22342495321093464,0.0,0.0,0.2470805699407937,0.0,0.2262279262008838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,snodgrjl,2019/10/12,"My Friends Are Tired of Me I spoke with a friend on the phone yesterday.  I've known him 34 years. The upshot is that he's worn out with me. 

I have another friend who is in social work school.  He's understanding,  which is to be expected. 

My wife has stuck with me for 27 years, but she worries. A lot. So do my older children, who intellectually understand that I have a disease. 

So, as I go through the predictable,  protracted seasonal fall adjustment this year, I am faced with the painful fact that those who love me are worn out,  frustrated,  and unsure of what to do. 

If anyone has any thoughts on this,  I would be most grateful. 

Thanks.",2.7286021505376357,5.044987451612903,3.4754838709677434,88.5498924731183,77.70967741935483,7.359139784946238,25.655913978494624,8.344100000000001,1.6579752688172045,500,19,104,10,12,158,83,124,0.157,0.677,0.166,0.5199,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,2,7,1,0,7,0,15,4,1,0,1,19,25,6,0,3,2,1,0,0,3,1,2,1,0,1,11,7,0,0,5,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,5,1,15,5,16,17,2,13,0,0,0,1,16,5,0,3,6,71,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349020794846844,0.2080139111290144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13870869717848505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4597930425545746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11274131547992207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16865167723738947,0.1790415500991136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211085419776518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20076650285303213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022187456454598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826374223815314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574879145759259,0.0,0.228003348385452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4130315899780953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14441965908784155,0.20145985539214645,0.0,0.14092019761277955,0.0,0.0,0.3832417747481481
bipolarreddit,caramel_kiss,2019/10/12,"How do you guys deal with a new pdoc? So my pdoc just retired. Which is odd because she's like 25 but anyways. Someone new is taking over her position at the clinic and I'm scared they won't listen to me and I can't really find a new clinic because most places don't accept my insurance.

​

Anyways, every time I get a p doc they're always of the ""I'm your doctor so you have to listen to me even if my advice is shit"" variety and I'm so done with it.",0.5259999999999998,2.4079316000000013,3.0599999999999987,90.935,83.0,5.6000000000000005,20.0,6.742157984588678,0.28469999999999995,360,10,79,4,10,125,67,100,0.141,0.841,0.018000000000000002,-0.9156,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,1,0,8,4,1,1,5,0,9,4,1,1,0,12,16,9,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,3,2,0,1,2,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,2,13,2,8,14,1,7,0,0,0,0,10,3,1,2,5,51,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18645039585917791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15876330642866432,0.20673487379736094,0.23184642066244854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326233665300505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19670942258565932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19529486389626424,0.0,0.1952576227850159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602352287235594,0.0,0.16075968134836724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17439040350004886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968664563037588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889248793741814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321666423725954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5528359197531115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19934843113080533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122233230246499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910269992355563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958564457046472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16166668687781222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14346004297193854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11125871150203548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23184642066244854,0.0
bipolarreddit,AyeLass,2019/10/12,I’m impressed but angry For so many years (I’m only 20) I thought all that rage and extreme depression was just regular depression habits or whatever until I went inpatient. Doctor seen I was bipolar and put me on depakote and geodon. I feel better than all the other antidepressants I was on but that’s only because I didn’t need them. I was assuming to go in and come out feeling more or less the same but goddamn they dun did it. What I’m angry about is how tf can outpatient psychiatrists go on for years misdiagnosing their patients or just flat out not knowing wtf is wrong with you?! Like they went to school for that shit come on now. I could blame it on my shitty city but idk. Really this was kind of a rant but I’m so glad I’m not in that hellish prison of whatever I’ve been thinking and feeling all those years.,2.3705120481927686,4.583447662650607,3.6682981927710863,87.2417243975904,78.39759036144578,7.041566265060243,24.832831325301214,8.07648339933343,1.4940373493975905,656,24,134,12,16,214,102,166,0.262,0.611,0.127,-0.9865,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,4,1,7,11,3,0,3,0,12,3,1,1,3,36,31,17,0,2,12,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,10,10,0,0,7,0,0,7,3,6,0,0,12,4,15,5,20,18,6,21,1,2,1,0,5,9,1,4,6,87,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986101136001354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15939077460502585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31048876133251196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438917546819172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104480605013874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18446376717094046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27337536461845435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20484742508669754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18767237430371544,0.09904471461550256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804684724042297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18271574484533132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13363154232736665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27413228959324915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811718205508565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545414802469595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18239321129984906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18499420352693188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11547830038897088,0.0,0.14307529429571678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33413323109373194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970433046940871,0.0,0.3481691268574709
bipolarreddit,cheekybritt,2019/10/12,"So lost So after I had my youngest son who is now 4 , I recently had gotten the birth control paragard but while I had used the IUD I swear it affected my moods and everything has irritated me and I would just be a miserable person fast forward I had finally gotten it removed and I was talking to my dr he had told me that he had believed I had the beginning  signs of being bi polar  well now I am still an irritated person who can't explain why I am so irritated my boyfriend and I argue alot. I had thought material things would make me happy I had purchased alot of  cars just to have them , had to have the newest phone and getting tired of them and looking for something better .... I also work alot of hours but I also make sure my work is complete and over done, at home I have no motivation I can prob sleep for 16 hours and still wake up tired and irritated it's like I'm seeing the world in black and white not color . I had talked to my regular dr and he had said maybe moods were based because I had lost my dad recently but than I'm finding he isn't taking me serious,  so I called the physch place but they never called me back so im thinking of just going to a new pcp and I have no idea if they will take me serious because all I want to do is be happy and be my old self again thank you all for reading",3.4785926773455387,4.190527934782608,5.039031273836766,84.80818077803207,72.18840579710144,8.12936689549962,27.56979405034325,8.371475516178862,1.7133652173913037,1034,36,224,16,19,350,146,276,0.151,0.738,0.111,-0.9156,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,4,7,17,15,1,1,12,0,37,7,2,6,4,44,60,26,0,4,9,2,0,1,0,3,4,1,1,3,7,13,0,1,6,1,1,4,6,6,1,0,23,6,41,7,20,30,5,30,0,3,5,1,25,7,0,4,22,159,48,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18153673990250666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727686035722039,0.0,0.13838084491320365,0.0,0.0,0.12787910006609754,0.0,0.10038424818853207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23179866476343014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900581711766985,0.0,0.127303352613381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615305555834456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200924720374054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433707325306155,0.10373975641855322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05930067324991841,0.0,0.0645064145388637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24165227284574434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385284105980098,0.0,0.22355533547673906,0.0,0.0,0.1281311586889016,0.12260280076655125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05545187033253615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09531399849558833,0.0,0.24780403375671725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15152837099725314,0.0,0.11402909705107613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754057049700494,0.10962197938947668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910238640871475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982130182528203,0.11858655793479304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11353379289718288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22414119154460668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796741850539764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044725735697028,0.0,0.11840846378001407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11358504791752215,0.0,0.0,0.08738021420458758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18128740838320015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697530715097622,0.0,0.17068037707361478,0.1824589483115511,0.0,0.10449838400679937,0.0,0.0,0.07540640113784752,0.07272818891408281,0.0,0.09010876500110583,0.0,0.26091018087899104,0.0,0.10845705447782446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803021606128473,0.0,0.0,0.06694705578582927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10205289771148976,0.0,0.10241887303628522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16526318425547826,0.0,0.0,0.16125865917765386,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,loconumbers,2019/10/12,"I bought a car....  Like a lot of you guys, I go through weird obsessive phases. This summer it's been cars for me. I never was a car guy, I had a dinky little cheap base model Hyundai for years that got me around and it was fine. But the last few months I've been OBSESSED with cars. Watching YouTube reviews and reading about everything there is to know. I realized ""I hate my car"" (which I didn't really) and started car shopping. 

Well after a while I had it all figured out, I was going to get a Volkswagen GTI, so I started shopping around. I wanted something new-ish, I wanted low miles and I wanted a manual transmission. That last part is important, gotta be a stick shift. My Hyundai was a stick shift and that was the only thing that made me enjoy driving it. 

Well I found a 2016 GTI with low miles, beautiful color, perfect in every way. Except, automatic transmission. ""Oh well,"" I thought,  it's a beautiful car and I'll love it with all my heart, and I'll keep it for years and years and it will be MY car. After all, something as silly as the transmission doesn't even matter that much. 

Oh boy. I was wrong. Ever since I drove the car off the lot, I realized the transmission ended up being way more important to me than I thought. It's completely irrational and I know that. It's all I think about when I drive it. and when I'm not driving it. It's all I think about period. This car cost me $20k and that's a lot of money for me. This car loan is going to affect me financially for the next 5 years of my life. And I didn't even get the one I wanted. 

The worst part is after I got the car, I made the dumb decision of continuing to shop around for cars. Two weeks later I found the exact same car with a stick shift. I cried. All I had to do was just wait two weeks. I legitimately considered trading in the car I've had for less than a month for basically the exact same car. I would be throwing almost $5k in the toilet basically, but I didn't even care in that moment. Luckily my mom talked me out of it 

So long story short, I bought a car way outside my budget, and it's not ""perfect"" and so I hate it. And I hate myself for being so irresponsible with my money. And I hate myself for being so ungrateful that I have a super nice car, but because it's an automatic I regret getting it. Such a dumb thing to care so much about. This car is all I think about, has been for a whole month and a half. I can't focus at work, I can't sleep. I'm just thinking about my regret and how if I was going to be so irresponsible with my money I could at least get the exact one I wanted. 

My mind is going in spirals and I can't escape the loop of regret and guilt and shame. I'm not sure what the point of this post is, but I just wanted to get it down in writing I guess.",1.8013253012048158,3.401323020654047,3.7476519793459566,88.89026970740106,77.82960413080896,6.782251290877798,21.430671256454392,7.627320914984058,0.6937159793459551,2149,57,476,31,50,729,220,581,0.151,0.7859999999999999,0.063,-0.9946,1,0,2,0,0,0,76.0,0,1,0,4,31,33,6,4,38,0,42,4,2,4,15,101,91,40,0,12,12,1,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,3,37,33,0,2,14,4,13,29,11,18,3,5,29,2,70,15,64,51,22,85,0,5,2,1,8,23,2,6,30,332,107,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706507672513227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20553415920029625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04691456043302375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15693323278812055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069188481325107,0.0,0.0,0.06144689856091819,0.0,0.08453777288200777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816438360124144,0.0,0.0,0.15249555368326936,0.06961540677130643,0.06484275331676398,0.0,0.06916736193754101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16876698564724468,0.0,0.0,0.20104408385765254,0.0,0.21869284618831292,0.0,0.12310508863191505,0.0,0.08478094557016645,0.15240648956143074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3039312396529435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119886232803658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840625300295296,0.0,0.0,0.08459123381221371,0.12546657029260266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054359655528722385,0.037599136260104464,0.07713489237422573,0.0,0.06810784419662058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19628783903650213,0.06946008392835483,0.14564424979943885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07770842103511277,0.0901355032404847,0.18428801532052416,0.0,0.11315001668970953,0.0,0.05935687684952486,0.07432917438943283,0.08184863344185415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430119538100917,0.05853212030162795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16668199049073545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07275278707710063,0.0,0.07370712702977418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698157922660681,0.0,0.04930302877877313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06366272980312092,0.0,0.07701633268906342,0.0,0.0,0.11849629455645964,0.0,0.0,0.10894643354504603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07253459848902673,0.0,0.0,0.06185813768139139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022586085650018,0.19725337079039887,0.0,0.12219648185675025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15035894482102596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723606750440605,0.1832635894475381,0.12346654699553385,0.0,0.20759087748252586,0.0,0.0,0.08592393179959151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05602834445743289,0.0,0.0,0.0546707105024806,0.08414450141643337,0.0,0.1982408055494884
bipolarreddit,PM_ME_UR_JON_SNOW,2019/10/12,"Does anyone else’s attention span plummet during depressed episodes? It’s really weird for me, like night and day. When I’m manic or just relatively normal-mood I read constantly and am super curious and passionate, able to retain so much information. 

But when I get depressed I just can’t absorb any information and can’t keep focused on anything for more than 30 seconds. 

Ugh.",5.344347826086956,7.87268046376812,6.167463768115944,71.32771739130439,70.44927536231884,9.237681159420287,31.78985507246377,9.725611199111238,3.6480898550724636,308,14,48,8,6,101,55,69,0.14800000000000002,0.662,0.191,0.5118,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,13,6,9,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,3,1,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,4,3,5,6,2,7,0,2,0,1,2,2,0,1,6,27,5,1,0.2600539076128816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17684557480523172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818357387574514,0.2664559600983964,0.2140022079364511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810258882863013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16771325668730594,0.0,0.4479680991325026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275749270243908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172416704219805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13586743339851615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23114786184162026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704920342939569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19116954428158026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24404297575985925,0.2547976147879665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601242818935473,0.0,0.16659719227769018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,twandar,2018/12/22,Cavities from dry mouth I just went to my dentist and was told I have 8 cavities that need filling. I didn't know that dry mouth can actually cause tooth decay that fast. It's only been a few months. My pdoc is concerned. He suggests biotene. Anyone else have these issues?,1.6400539083557923,4.365548962264153,2.502479784366578,90.60660377358492,87.67924528301887,5.292722371967655,22.66576819407009,6.868970318607317,0.8526409703504045,217,8,42,3,7,68,44,53,0.057,0.943,0.0,-0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,7,4,3,1,0,5,11,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,5,0,5,0,2,6,1,5,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,23,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.3221968357206459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308614970868513,0.3382966532122901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3391740060725193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758134215307637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3446101411239008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814519769459233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635373525156106,0.0,0.0,0.2448157645944515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511080277453885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154901577618053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060695140606573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,blp313,2018/12/22,"Manic rampage I went out for trivia Thursday night at a local bar. Had a few drinks and started feeling the familiar old call of more drinks, a late night and bad decisions. I recognized it for what it was but didn't care. Went to another bar and got completely smashed. Don't remember leaving or driving home. Asked a bunch of women to send me nudes on snapchat,messenger, etc. One of them called me out on Facebook and others started posting screenshots. Needless to say, I am ashamed and embarrassed. I didn't even realize how many people I had sent those inappropriate messages to. My girlfriend is...not happy about it. She understands that hypersexuality is one of my problems when I'm on the mountain, but it doesn't make it hurt her any less. I feel like utter shit. I embarrassed and betrayed my girlfriend who I love dearly and never want to hurt. I spent all my money and then some. I got way too inebriated AND drive home that way. I'm lucky I didn't end up in jail or the hospital. Or the ground. Episodes like this make me feel like my therapy and medication aren't working. When in reality, it's my inability to admit that I have to stay away from alcohol. Not blaming my illness or my drinking. Everything I do is my responsibility. But I know booze is a depressant and lowers inhibitions. I'm done with it. For good. Thanks for listening to me ramble. Hope you all have a good day.",3.005649530127143,5.527622671641795,4.4400663349917115,80.9086926478718,77.88059701492537,7.70171365395246,28.58264234383637,8.626192665926032,2.4715177998894418,1108,50,208,25,27,367,158,268,0.138,0.669,0.193,0.9567,1,0,4,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,1,1,6,21,1,3,10,0,17,12,2,3,3,42,43,22,0,3,8,0,3,3,2,0,3,2,2,1,15,14,7,0,9,5,2,6,8,9,0,2,13,5,31,12,29,30,8,35,0,3,0,2,18,12,1,7,16,138,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186991275422455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07553082084626042,0.11646567284234682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10383464843838183,0.0,0.10435310895156033,0.0,0.09273808876112397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268280111885121,0.0,0.11324238598707645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164538753672905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07163040386135261,0.0,0.09566368363381833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366228797157706,0.0,0.3264164049133707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837428696526848,0.0,0.12387144585515995,0.07336011646357903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982177718614807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16847967645153106,0.1586956251526677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863190423947575,0.1776642679967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823516003581305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228227978113076,0.11031671276601618,0.0,0.0,0.23780361342596645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06104069214848205,0.0,0.1252908226473385,0.11760617735138384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16278830782372325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10024423119517746,0.0,0.14827902079168706,0.11260667038197285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189046892583814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566336447368555,0.0,0.0,0.20846171922828227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654837384186954,0.0,0.1505266413799869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770013536303097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637352944068057,0.0,0.0,0.10627816243562427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581967885973286,0.0,0.0,0.08832663451875887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401087145919868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15723061151847226,0.1183849201981294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225753733683828,0.12701723618733185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156268870934024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06551145380549996,0.17632301979542794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205924402679613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08085965345315659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pumpkincat,2018/12/22,"Anyone experience anything like ""reverse"" SAD? So I have a seasonal compontent to my bipolar disorder that makes me more likely to have a depressive episode in the winter... but I also am *way* more likely to experience Mania in the summer.  It's to the point that I don't open my shades in the summer or go outside without sunglasses (I live in Seattle, we have long summer days and it tends to be very sunny and dry in the summer).   I once went on a road trip to Arizona in July (oops) and ended up around a freeway/highway loop that went around the state 3 times before I could settle down enough to find a place to sleep.  Then I ended up driving up to Seattle and on a complete whim rented an apartment and moved halfway across the country.  It worked out, amazingly, but man, mania and impulse control is a bitch.

Anyhow, I never really hear about people who's moods are affected by the seasons in the mania zone so I'm curious if this is just a weird me thing or if this happens to others.",6.3252952202436745,6.162204762886603,7.102614807872541,75.55264761012184,65.80412371134021,9.322586691658858,33.100281162136824,8.841846274778883,2.7999855670103093,780,30,141,11,11,260,121,194,0.081,0.87,0.049,-0.6072,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,0,2,7,9,1,0,18,0,10,2,1,3,1,26,18,16,0,3,8,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,1,11,11,0,1,1,0,1,6,3,4,0,0,2,1,13,4,30,14,3,44,1,2,0,0,4,22,1,5,17,103,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598624867727895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11015700162557256,0.0,0.12964360982401066,0.2804914908790746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340566046417483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651797479395245,0.0,0.17669670446229366,0.1257844359373697,0.0,0.0,0.101601531226911,0.0,0.13569065949726994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18055673521848264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790708316645275,0.1627829585377103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3082125340732306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14399049753661158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953472655438723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13931383514073314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775612389796855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309011320492044,0.0,0.13911243718525956,0.13941967724683424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051604817866365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674421715440019,0.0,0.0,0.12150607188285467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16777704603117333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921975884049688,0.0,0.16459781734296847,0.0,0.14892807447868564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092541381553524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15765573514918008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466387807463684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09186398392877124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998861631823327,0.0,0.12504947505562014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29208595095642137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15186482776338586,0.0,0.11469242336284875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ecot0ne,2018/12/22,How do you get a grip on incessant talking? I can’t stop and it’s frustrating because part of me is telling me to stop but one idea leads to the next and I have to explain it all because it seems so important for whatever reason even though it’s usually not. It bugs the shit out of me because I’m like god damn just shut up and I just can’t and then the wtf faces and the not understand are just irritating. Idk my thoughts are just very pressing and loud and I just have to vocalize it. I’m not really on speaking terms with my mom right now because my mom has been telling me to get more help and go to the hospital a few times but I have to see her at Christmas and I don’t want to seem like I’m not with it because I mostly am except for a few minor things. I basically just need to compose myself for one day and I’m working on that I just only have a couple meds right now because my psychiatrist went to Pakistan for the holidays so I can’t get some new scripts for my depakote and a couple other meds and Im not sleeping anymore. Basically I need to act normal for a day for family.,1.6344991789819403,3.4184131724137927,3.6211576354679806,88.7777011494253,78.91379310344827,7.005254515599344,25.702791461412147,7.957251820313856,1.4459981116584566,864,34,190,15,21,293,117,232,0.083,0.804,0.113,0.8418,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,2,14,5,3,0,12,0,15,3,3,3,1,48,33,19,0,4,15,2,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,10,15,0,2,7,1,0,4,9,3,0,2,3,5,23,2,29,30,8,25,0,0,1,0,10,9,2,4,14,132,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680853351305445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4307945010557077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260648063932287,0.0,0.15191986255938866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779419219846641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103480407734817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18460939417583105,0.0,0.06693847616359641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789470882167467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296204064393674,0.12722524907592725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150851036138427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616594821254255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758907454138473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746683768565649,0.0,0.1137550165642488,0.1252629634248019,0.0,0.11540178571339425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15962486205045792,0.08957885472489366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12754690701859314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754544484244172,0.12109996715432125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20117112406441925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385735703857144,0.21444942344375575,0.0,0.0,0.12090198427390612,0.0,0.0,0.11786750320756463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969427911494493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466906546967704,0.2058940917971029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824942094878537,0.0,0.11572065138495315,0.09350610262989642,0.06867988919108105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261567608497875,0.0,0.0,0.1297207198352276,0.09718284993779963,0.06947113600993565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10918550387229477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574702065746095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jakefloresdsa,2018/12/22,"It's all temporary, and that's a good thing. Happy and hoping to share it. This was sort of an epiphany for me, but I'm sure it may be obvious to some. I have for a while been worried during potential upswings. I was worried that the elation I felt was just another mood episode, meaning the happiness would be temporary. And it always was. I dreaded the inevitable fall back to suffering. 

But what I realized was that I was unknowingly viewing the upswings as rare and ephemeral, and the depressions as inevitable and permanent. It's not true. Depression, euthymia, mania, hypomania, are all temporary. No mood state is permanent - it's the nature of the condition. This self-reminder seems to help me maintain a little during bad times, and appreciate the good ones while they're around.

If you're deeply depressed as I am most of the time, it'll end. Maybe not as soon as you want it to, but it will. ",4.451134453781513,6.492558029411764,5.1104201680672245,80.05117647058826,71.6470588235294,8.857142857142858,32.14285714285714,9.424239791934726,3.1836974789915966,715,34,130,17,14,230,99,170,0.171,0.652,0.177,-0.4259,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,0,0,4,16,0,1,13,0,17,0,0,0,5,32,23,18,0,4,7,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,16,8,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,6,0,1,8,2,10,8,16,9,4,11,0,4,1,0,3,2,0,8,7,95,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421114281090689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17908879422097615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15203980857493266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313273987768704,0.14260298411764094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4413049785727464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512697433071664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16398572164707506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865020381417623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3636194550475106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447731261401432,0.0,0.0,0.1696335631738536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17117700994310062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17158207386586224,0.1860409893877168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573210391085025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548131186337005,0.17817180267195593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609680820780373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134656594202233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19917869861488965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10073669763254302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468922091824396,0.0,0.1213247139812767,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,geminezmarie8,2019/07/19,"Did Your BP Come with Friends?! Anyone Else Juggling Comorbid Diagnoses?? I have BP II. And ADHD. And a dollop of Anxiety Disorder (although don’t be fooled, a dollop of anxiety is crippling af). Made/makes it hard to know exactly what was/is going wrong when I had no dx & even just in mood mgmt today.  

For example, is lack of motivation/focus the ADHD med change or is depression returning...or am I legit just tired like a norm?

Just me? How do you deal?",1.8070786516853907,4.3281207752809046,4.0562808988764045,81.83296067415732,82.82022471910112,8.054382022471911,24.630337078651685,8.841846274778883,2.3657766292134834,355,14,67,10,10,122,71,89,0.301,0.6729999999999999,0.025,-0.9752,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,0,0,6,6,0,0,4,0,10,3,0,1,1,12,13,6,0,1,4,0,1,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,2,1,6,2,7,10,1,5,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,1,3,41,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4733784838108152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133894863382662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013242933494139,0.0,0.0,0.13770830450791394,0.20179310592030086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2083413651627452,0.1696504093799763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20304132472876776,0.1696281705310313,0.1998947118920803,0.0,0.0,0.2257156740606988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16452201479590636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300801084902109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521589768165998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11192820434867462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17642375588511108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10823564955672006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621722612341063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863538249866193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187611495182974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263589462446333,0.18668053536248397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21532809859829805,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Saximus978,2019/07/19,"Do you think I'm not on enough meds? I am currently taking 50mg Zoloft, .25 clonapen, 75 lamotrigine (which is still being tapered up), and 30mg adderall. Everyone here seems to be on a high dose of a mood stabilizer and an antipsychotic, and sometimes a good dose of an anxiety med. I want to get better but my VA doctor doesn't know how to treat me effectively for bipolar 2. Every second of my day is wrapped in depression, anxiety, fear, and I feel like it goes from bad to worse then back to just bad, constantly shifting moods. Even the low level of lamictal puts me in a terrible brain fog though and I have trouble at work now, I'm even having trouble writing this and trying to keep it consistent. Do I need to be on more than just a mood stabilizer, because alone they never seemed to keep me functional? What meds should I bring up to my doctor next time I see him?",3.9821698532681182,5.393315647398846,5.219653179190754,81.34272120942644,71.71676300578035,8.791285015562472,28.33659404179636,9.265573868473778,2.3875028012449984,689,26,137,15,13,229,119,173,0.22,0.7,0.08,-0.9844,1,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,1,3,10,15,0,1,8,0,12,7,1,2,1,24,27,10,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,5,6,0,2,6,0,0,2,3,8,0,1,0,2,16,4,24,23,2,23,0,2,1,0,4,11,0,2,11,88,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14282263103075454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210985978449267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060364539276724,0.2302811887872706,0.08406245381681729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219611895356947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15394181171004834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14902072178884282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893397941914122,0.0,0.11877291782295113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822926298733721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424873829120517,0.0,0.1821630686429175,0.0,0.11618655073679067,0.13176919303923454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15517564236461034,0.0697262953083728,0.09851566304549236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204696733141276,0.0,0.0,0.11566383119800945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14569873709519546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451434024220112,0.0,0.0,0.0757861378217382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737088925578875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4595268572416365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225097344637206,0.10635684684709083,0.0,0.14665802908881725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862741303243006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988830714535752,0.2510776443539513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363864537229442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101269789495929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368350709368086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836064016816113,0.13548587861071654,0.0,0.08041049733626195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936249296791474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813368900688247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039271550054507,0.0,0.1405317035167265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DoItForBirb,2019/07/19,"Switched to a different generic and I'm losing my mind I'm writing this at work because I'm losing my mind. A  week ago, I had to switch to a different pharmacy, and they gave me a generic Lithium (600mg twice a day) that was different than what I had been taking. I figured it didn't matter, generic was generic.

But the past couple days my mood has been going up and up and up and I don't think it's going to stop. My whole body is going to burst with energy and I'm paranoid and can barely get words out because every time I talk it's too fast. 

I haven't felt this bad since before I started taking Lithium. The generic is the only thing that has changed, but is it possible that two generics of the same medication would be /that/ different?",3.6565062388591802,4.707510764705884,5.02800950683304,83.78786096256687,72.07189542483661,7.655139631610218,28.941770647652998,8.00094639256281,1.8901424836601304,589,23,118,8,11,197,88,153,0.076,0.9129999999999999,0.011000000000000001,-0.6956,4,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,3,1,4,0,0,9,0,17,2,1,0,0,22,31,9,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,12,9,0,1,3,0,0,3,3,3,0,2,9,1,13,0,13,20,2,17,0,2,0,0,4,5,0,0,9,78,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207035617978802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136935050012828,0.16601191028714593,0.0,0.115867830702145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15125050470445764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14404631124433384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15066586121691095,0.0,0.17563251062099847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5690608705122562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472631574329713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13074138370653002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114147954297889,0.0,0.2321600170187175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046714095587654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717362260056007,0.0,0.0,0.2749790960922244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10356090960611827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998652066175145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15350749238102288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263849955280655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637948957022223,0.0,0.0,0.1138414565269994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204760821227054,0.10944563381291383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046310353593194,0.08725012179918623,0.0,0.0,0.07939989652825077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13301507798486936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922471155062884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15202525533407474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09913097775778483,0.0,0.0,0.09672891532501318,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cutelyn22,2019/07/19,"Life is getting hard again. (TW/ Suicide mention) When I was 14, I was diagnosed with Bipolar II. Every year since my brain started getting a little more unstable, August and September have been really hard for me. In September of 2016/2017/2018, I attempted suicide. I am so glad that I am still here and alive. I have amazing friends, an amazing boyfriend, and a wonderful family.

But wow, my brain is getting unhealthy again. Every day is a little harder to get out of bed. I have absolutely no energy to do anything right now. I've been forcing myself to go out and spend time with my family or friends, but man, it's really hard.

The worst part is that I just keep getting my hopes up that everything will get better, just to have them crushed time and time again. I know it's about to hit that time of year again, and I know that's why I'm getting depressed, but my brain just won't stop these bad thoughts.

It's exhausting.

I'm tired of feeling like this.

I'm just _tired_.",3.2461300309597547,5.380782894736843,3.92250773993808,86.84667182662541,75.3157894736842,7.4179566563467505,28.01857585139319,8.313332769828598,2.00512693498452,770,32,151,14,17,244,106,190,0.17,0.653,0.177,-0.1423,0,0,0,0,0,2,31.0,0,0,1,2,14,13,0,0,5,0,17,9,3,0,0,26,37,12,2,1,8,0,4,1,2,2,6,0,1,1,10,10,0,2,5,0,1,1,2,4,0,0,5,4,18,9,17,29,3,25,0,1,0,0,5,7,0,3,18,94,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09175738445046464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310026241079897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861525215761803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3734223314116801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191014485171295,0.0,0.09603728272245447,0.1131730944253236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878920014121233,0.0,0.10021161503857218,0.0,0.21023001759660895,0.0,0.05637921555233176,0.07965769266183488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17229372491076814,0.0,0.4077896349108389,0.0,0.0633696665595051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996540858134673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074753689681677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09910889905492327,0.0,0.0,0.12255815345512625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787577944405752,0.05447468376895511,0.22351039346065327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12074677273367727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14286322339937166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522286571184292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223634952415824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892232515749521,0.0,0.08904635843431416,0.09322141555730576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439321456757681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08852084607444165,0.26007294619290794,0.25631235718923073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10061402234345933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092013656369492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360842118426495
bipolarreddit,idkhowigotheretbh,2019/07/19,"5:21 AM I am wide awake and haven't been to sleep yet. Starting to laugh, cry, then repeat for no reason. Uh oh!",-1.7487499999999976,0.09245495833333807,0.025000000000000355,105.57,103.58333333333334,2.4000000000000004,10.166666666666668,3.1291,-2.192633333333333,85,1,21,0,4,27,22,24,0.198,0.674,0.128,-0.2481,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,1,0,2,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,3,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,12,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5660205460066775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5298027032335533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5156609311312184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3647240617913862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,InsomniaJane,2019/07/19,"Wellbutrin and Lamital Anyone on this combo? I have such a hard time falling and staying asleep. I have nonstop , worst case scenario thoughts. I struggle to work. The lack of sleep is so bad that I can’t tell if my medicine is working(if that makes sense).  I have tried trazodone, Ambien, zyprexa and over the counter stuff. My pcp used to give me Klonopin, but, he won’t anymore.",3.4764989939637796,6.043766267605637,2.4924748490945703,95.25830985915495,76.46478873239437,4.620523138832998,31.269617706237426,5.288315135182226,1.1622941649899396,299,15,58,1,7,85,57,71,0.163,0.8370000000000001,0.0,-0.7961,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,3,0,7,2,2,2,0,9,11,6,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,1,8,0,5,9,2,5,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,1,36,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.282203640651917,0.1989685600325143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23759283809525025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729725773258978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549067813261113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899437105644238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28476205906659063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032994269485566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29748029589607633,0.3257491767458432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24871497204169926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22590611997007465,0.16592721598655485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19319522255450933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457655007252752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20716056162015126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,herpivore,2019/07/19,test test testing testicles i guess not sure if this is posting to reddit,2.255714285714287,5.171803142857144,3.1542857142857166,84.91571428571432,89.0,5.6571428571428575,28.42857142857143,7.1686216300943375,2.121114285714286,60,3,10,1,2,19,13,14,0.141,0.8590000000000001,0.0,-0.2411,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,6,2,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6340046300707167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5511929536975032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5424246093634726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,eczsurg,2019/07/19,"I’m the friend that nobody likes And I tragically can’t figure out what it is that I’m doing — once people get to know me it’s almost this unconscious signal or language I’m giving off which makes them not want to get closer.

I literally can’t think of what it is. I’m friendly, interested in others, sociable, really good at first impressions and being personable... but then when it comes to intimacy and vulnerability and creating a lasting connection in a friendship, I’m always the last choice out of a friend group.

Sometimes it feels like I’m missing a “gene” or natural feminine friendship-making codes of conduct... is it BP? Misdiagnosed BPD? Autism? Abandonment/intimacy issues? INTJ? What the FUCK is it???

All my relationships end. All my friendships end. I feel like I’m cursed, honestly... and especially with other women. It’s like I have a huge “hate me” sign on my forehead.",3.1330455712451917,6.047590115853662,5.116559691912709,73.75321566110401,80.76829268292684,8.330680359435174,26.314505776636715,8.99025400887824,2.8686268292682926,705,29,118,20,19,241,104,164,0.106,0.644,0.251,0.9716,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,1,1,1,15,2,0,8,0,9,2,1,1,2,24,29,10,0,1,4,0,2,4,3,0,0,0,0,2,17,9,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,4,0,1,0,2,10,11,14,28,2,17,0,2,0,1,9,9,1,3,11,72,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16960777414729966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14093620896581302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21332588017620147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14590429871344088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000375752551204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17128538754621114,0.24200760200281046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14407298786370484,0.0,0.0,0.3925834700874177,0.1565873920897063,0.17698620966899958,0.16248297794055303,0.0,0.14206637585011353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16722587987301052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767868073170867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308581454110484,0.27613163603435725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3309984798267335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306124606333495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18038222688630265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742549881330737,0.14789448789127851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850799512875738,0.0,0.0,0.18184877034159733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16751934459353587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853069439656134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999036351754176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,shawnbenteau,2019/07/19,"Self-regulating Lithium Dosage My first psychiatrist mentioned off-hand at one point something about some patients changing their own dosage up and down as they feel fit. He seemed to phrase it like he supported it, but we never came back to it. 

Is this something anyone has experience with? If so, what is the process like? I'm assuming increase dose when its not having an effect and decrease when it gets too zombifying, but how would bloodwork and levels monitoring go?",7.045357142857143,8.895139488095241,6.305714285714287,74.78928571428574,64.83333333333333,8.933333333333335,34.23809523809524,9.2995712137729,3.2506809523809514,383,17,63,7,6,117,71,84,0.0,0.865,0.135,0.8717,0,0,2,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,2,2,7,3,0,0,2,0,5,1,0,2,1,18,12,11,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,4,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,1,1,4,3,8,10,3,14,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,4,7,44,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18040720936650811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19839444397855535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29509571677511026,0.0,0.0,0.2729413045852979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523841532693966,0.0,0.0,0.13045805547047895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21946392639535592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348000380492405,0.0,0.14663353142067187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521021708885137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19899389985196705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748348525875576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24390368216767006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348834188713287,0.2691616224259304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3972587680375246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29278769395593823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832835295250813,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PsiMobius,2019/07/19,"Finding some interest So I've been skateboarding again. I had a realization that's in the process of trying to ""be an adult"" I've bassically stopped doing everything that actually brought me joy. I never really saw any hobbies through. Tried, best myself up and that was that. Made lows almost unbearable but here I am. A week in after 10 years and in still going. Looking forward to it. My whole body hurts and would you believe what's bassically straight cardio 3 hours a day for a week I've dropped 8 lbs. I'm even meeting what seems like chill people. Idk I figured I'd ride this wave as long as I can. I'm so damn tired of being sad and the meds have helped me find some footing on figuring it out. Nothing's perfect but I think it's a step in a good direction.",1.6947364400305602,4.1470248831168846,3.1143697478991608,88.86886554621849,82.63636363636363,6.480672268907562,25.94194041252865,7.724431198458867,1.599765164247517,608,26,123,11,17,198,110,154,0.13699999999999998,0.728,0.135,-0.0655,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,2,6,10,1,0,9,0,10,4,2,1,2,21,19,10,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,10,5,0,1,6,0,0,5,1,4,0,0,6,2,11,6,16,10,4,26,0,3,2,0,4,10,1,4,13,73,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.1742653017168108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17881897750647924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143842078079425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011950227225767,0.18740544712890966,0.0,0.0,0.1983586869793617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516733205533332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179483632220218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049340977893414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32643211657068605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10148937185349627,0.1497818375088495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969633687504762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758622823344379,0.0,0.1911702729220745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724365674920605,0.0,0.0,0.1580349436729816,0.14995962657844453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689737877101244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983586869793617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13772952000122501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17134935901706302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238027427489722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144009396842341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16256970973210966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14261174902748933,0.1492982908363688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11442487172319432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052478854768583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424839962282152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28648724724875224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19937473990379706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12685591148471714,0.0,0.0,0.11499767357287165
bipolarreddit,Bigbrowncow,2019/07/19,"I am addicted to tinder and never know if I want to fall in love to just hookup I wanted to post this here because I am bipolar and cant deal with my oscillating feelings towards dating apps. Half the time I just want to hook up and the other half I want a relationship and the opportunity to fall in love. I think I mostly fall into the later, but when I get hypomanic then its the hookup. I'm on meds and it makes the episodes shorter and less intense but I still struggle with this app. 

I dont know how to meet people but I want to.  I'm 23, live at home, work at a grocery store, and am in an area of town that isn't filled with any other young people. I see the way that girls look at me when I'm at work and it hurts my self confidence. I go on tinder because it's the only way i feel comfortable saying anything to anyone.

I need to write this out because maybe it will help me quit. I'm celebrating 2 weeks without nicotine but I still don't know if this is something I can quit. 

Over the past five years i have been consistently using tinder with occasional breaks that go no more than a month. I havent spent that much but in the past two months I've burnt through $150 on it. I dont want to keep doing this. Nothing ever happens through it and I never get anywhere. About once every other year something happens, two hookups and one short relationship (I was off tinder during that time) and an occasional coffee date every 6 months or so.

Half the time I want to hook up and the other half i was to fall in live. I hate that. I dont know what to do and I dont want to spend any more money. I dont know who to tell and will try to take steps toward quitting. But I want someone to know, even if its anonymous.",2.5908607043925613,3.8438371551246537,4.016607637514841,89.2290824099723,74.9556786703601,6.486782746339532,23.419172932330827,6.868970318607317,0.5898269885239418,1347,38,298,12,28,446,171,361,0.073,0.852,0.075,0.7692,1,0,2,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,6,12,7,1,1,17,0,22,4,0,3,3,61,61,29,0,13,13,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,1,2,25,20,0,1,9,0,4,8,13,3,0,8,4,5,34,4,48,55,5,58,0,1,2,2,13,23,0,5,23,198,59,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432635730669724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10520559665670816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054087124912681306,0.0,0.0636550561036182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14146129697611295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974770680885139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4532866110557954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051091029707368465,0.06997035774886802,0.1303467395342616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822415929911544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082766228473126,0.0,0.08792316180918447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368062799845177,0.0,0.0,0.07637022663472658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051848189632227565,0.0,0.07759152200984024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828081528748494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875503881777252,0.0,0.0,0.2550676279908632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13660850705653105,0.0,0.06495716877395986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396284859097198,0.0,0.051633831988316815,0.0,0.07771164172313934,0.0,0.0859219177980506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852276523092988,0.0,0.056863469699157135,0.05735638470382181,0.1193190444655594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422243897865978,0.0,0.0,0.08237858612940062,0.052416500117699716,0.05883056046427855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476846793334958,0.10725387677885934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740829406320479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24682380755426406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16609668090585494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0615143340235862,0.0,0.0,0.06164045002844405,0.0,0.08069621133751613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554107767906209,0.11910047655497062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354865989056557,0.0,0.0,0.0808663133540453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058159946256409925,0.0,0.06761006743113149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04956477869444517,0.0,0.0,0.13531574118059173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052517715025587115,0.0,0.15112558624315656,0.0,0.0,0.06680829038911174,0.0,0.0,0.410624057663575,0.12279866876892942,0.062048035513711124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456568159871052,0.0,0.1126280370275517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962579210582682
bipolarreddit,luna-dear,2019/07/19,"What do you do when you haven't got a friend group and are struggling? I've always had trouble with making/keeping friends. I thought I was starting to get adopted into this friend group at work since I've been invited to a few parties, but realizing now that every time I suggest a group hangout or mention I'd like to come along to plans they're making, they pretend I didn't say anything. Super hurtful, and I'm trying my best not to take it personally but it's much easier said than done. And I don't really know of any other way to connect with others other than dating sites, which I never have much luck with. 

On top of that I had assessment for autism spectrum disorder and got the results yesterday. They were negative. I got an offical diagnosis of bipolar 2 but I feel like I'm still so in the dark since I thought autism explained so much of my life, and I'm left here trying to cope on my own.

Any tips on dealing with a rough patch in life without any support? Finding a therapist is definitely on my to-do list.",4.116618122977346,5.3643856456310735,5.23201941747573,82.0121715210356,71.18446601941747,8.017605177993529,30.72362459546925,8.447377352677275,2.3220385760517797,817,35,159,13,15,270,126,206,0.152,0.73,0.11800000000000001,-0.7363,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,2,5,6,12,0,1,8,0,14,3,0,2,1,29,32,12,0,0,6,0,2,2,3,0,3,2,0,1,10,12,0,0,7,2,0,1,7,3,0,0,13,4,18,9,28,19,6,21,0,1,0,0,17,11,0,2,10,102,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275367009055735,0.0,0.0,0.2764506495784032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11151169499227644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14220748606636416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11672830766946507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397029945826511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15530412654982784,0.0,0.0,0.1386719266398022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417149517959573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06851701284019755,0.09680707859202768,0.0,0.0,0.123852031464454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140798762366336,0.0,0.07079743680503459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32513483730390946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14506432091148744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12044590621912565,0.0,0.0,0.07447175782502073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14723004580903282,0.0,0.19142688524786852,0.13240491449543873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045276960546668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2988423360576321,0.0,0.1045122705693212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832052542260567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868100169198072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889932052582767,0.10776155223435983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22418755148565814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591339491368106,0.0,0.1082170162256612,0.0,0.0,0.1416625830194436,0.0,0.0,0.15377308908893245,0.0,0.0,0.10188529528832406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15733545382581832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21515673418612585,0.07901591579057761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18400233314040507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756009447959698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13062506032186158,0.0,0.09865157680601967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,redkitten05,2019/07/19,"when you mess up do you ever feel like you somehow end up messing up right when things are going well for yourself? It wasn't even intentional but I accidentally f\*cked up big time- lost a bunch of my stuff and stuff for work, after having several really good months. I definitely didn't intend for this to happen but somehow it did and now I just keep regretting and feeling shitty and like I have to go back to square one. everything is ok but it's just so annoying- even if it was just an accident/mistake I don't get why something like this always happens to me right when things are going well. 

Like I was almost done with some stuff at work, finally finishing up some stuff that I've been working on for a while, then losing all this stuff throws a wrench in everything. I feel like now I have to ""get it together"", like such an epic failure compared to the rest of society. I know it's all in my head but I just feel so lame and uncool and unsuccessful when everyone else seems on top of things. 

First successful thing at school, cut to going manic a few days later. Get a great new job, in the hospital a few weeks later. Is this part of depression or something? Why do I screw up right when things seem to be going so well?",3.1664353741496605,5.086549861224491,4.227755102040817,85.53129251700682,74.87755102040815,7.768707482993197,24.31972789115645,8.563005593585519,1.5880340136054416,976,31,197,19,21,317,132,245,0.16,0.6629999999999999,0.177,0.44299999999999995,1,0,2,0,0,0,24.0,0,3,0,8,24,23,3,0,10,1,18,2,1,2,3,36,37,22,0,2,10,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,21,7,0,1,7,0,0,6,3,10,3,2,8,5,17,13,31,28,9,47,0,5,1,1,3,18,1,9,29,146,38,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08825856781545248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333878425796223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777352035801293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05684242202963091,0.0,0.07591406979287572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019689117262816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362890063944988,0.0,0.07806507342004282,0.0,0.0,0.11643007648643156,0.07972685372701302,0.0,0.0842206784196591,0.15842746321926618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17826309045733116,0.12593316822063927,0.0,0.09655206581540336,0.0,0.07497106564643932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13814711147826228,0.0,0.250457382465318,0.0739268876695086,0.0,0.09717365881436403,0.0,0.0,0.1558822138999123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904561353347608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746444757832202,0.07834207368917352,0.0,0.0,0.04843893929176677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583618462550105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09860509754867282,0.09621422939522133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703517814160878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512528316703745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05972532901381961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544604629287047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05646415852538145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22581090599212636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08920146545609739,0.0,0.16047703606413852,0.0,0.0995720848594881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13570755643691565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5044908596209876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927784776928907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05139461266720916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069986220743862,0.0,0.2377428832453984,0.0,0.15906364065707745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924989235988612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,shereadstruth,2019/07/19,"not too many tears: hi bipolar 150 milligrams he raised it to: you don’t want any more from me. Lower the moods; stabilized. 

I quiet in the night, toss and turn. Penny crushes keep me awake + I hope this one, it lasts in my eyes. 

I take the pills everyday: oval, round, pale salmon and cotton candy blue. 

Don’t be shy, just let your feelings go on by. Veer the name you were born with, forget their lies. 

Six months since there’s not too many tears. Pharmaceutical miracles and farmers share a remedy for my fears.",1.2090538461538465,3.8134550900000046,1.924000000000004,94.96930769230772,88.1,5.0769230769230775,16.692307692307693,6.67199483983844,-0.20084615384615345,399,9,84,5,13,123,82,100,0.141,0.767,0.092,-0.7296,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,3,1,0,4,4,0,1,5,0,5,3,1,0,0,13,12,3,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,2,1,5,11,2,8,9,1,9,0,0,3,0,8,3,0,1,5,44,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17759012009644096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938649721199068,0.13204466573867638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14841686527288256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593796552090744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23212102756712286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21287110419850336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670423126856984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.52952773166598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084464582629073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450704317686104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769611664541396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21602496279091052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963513761379312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28405487311991506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15403231182528845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,chilindrina7,2019/06/24,Art block while on Lithium?? Or maybe bc of my depressive episodes? Has anyone here gone through really bad art block while being heavily medicated? I've tried losing the Lithium and I got really creative when I was off of it but I was also really suicidal and angry all of the time so I had to get back on it. Ever since I got back on it I've started to hate art again and I have a hard time being creative but most importantly just enjoying making art. If you've gone through the same problem what are ways to solve this?,2.435714285714288,4.620770904761908,4.1259523809523815,84.18321428571429,78.04761904761905,7.628571428571428,24.785714285714285,8.548686976883017,1.838314285714286,415,15,82,9,10,139,67,105,0.252,0.617,0.131,-0.9395,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,9,6,1,0,4,0,8,1,0,1,2,16,16,12,1,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,2,0,4,0,2,0,5,0,0,7,1,7,1,12,7,3,17,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,3,10,57,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488531871888676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14416868914539815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3170856311402858,0.1721550782341167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17758602921572847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18650528701561148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772266169711413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3298084569670429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847004195640393,0.20356407336201454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306672239003277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13762946145366367,0.0,0.20713960183036145,0.0,0.0,0.20770874932732666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972903001679384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3962603664731042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17055758552318478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593813927135615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255318971998772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404551675743932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13998544282717598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16365931017592014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,limmerent,2019/06/24,"Is a PhD possible with bipolar? I’m a college student in my early twenties, going into my junior year at a well known, elite liberal arts college. 

This might sound conceited but I’ll say it anyway... I’m considered one of the top students in the English department and have won departmental prizes for my essays every year since I enrolled. My professors love me and have encouraged me to think about graduate school and going into academia, even though they usually discourage student from that route.  

At the same time, I’m doing poorly in school. I’m currently on academic probation (for the second time). I have two permanent incompletes, one fail, and one withdrawal on my transcript. I also took a dramatically reduced courseload one semester, and a semester-long “medical/personal leave of absence. 

I’m on track to graduate in 5 years with a somewhat decent gpa. Other than the stuff I mentioned above, I have mostly As and one or two Bs at a school that prides itself on “grade deflation.”

I love school, I love writing, research, academia etc. I get obsessed with this stuff and can’t imagine myself better suited for anything. The idea of spending years of my life hunched over a library researching some arcane topic in excruciating detail sounds like my version of heaven. Of course I know academia is a lot more than that but the research part, at least, could not be more up my alley. 

I know English professor is one of the most difficult positions to secure these days. It’s like becoming a movie star. I also know my inconsistent academic record will not help me in that regard. But for some reason I keep getting noticed and “rising to the top,” no matter where I am at. I think I’m just obsessive and competitive enough. At the same time as I’m “rising to the top” I’m also on the brink of failure. I find myself always turning in late work, but always receiving the highest marks and praise.

My thinking is that I will not go to grad school unless/until I get into one of the very best in the country. Ivy League, Berkeley, etc. I think I have a shot considering where other grads from my college have gone but I also know it’s extremely competitive.

But even then I know it’s not even close to a straight shot to becoming a prof, let alone a tenured one. 

But it’s literally all I can imagine myself doing. I feel like it’s my calling. It almost feels like a religious calling!

Has anyone gone through graduate school or gotten a PhD, particularly in the humanities? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

PS, I’m not wealthy at all but I’m in a somewhat elite circle of that makes sense. I’ve pretty much been on financial aid/scholarships my whole life and would never attend grad school unless it was funded. I will have barely any loans after undergrad and hope to do the same for grad school. 

My family  my mental health together as much as I can and focus on school without neglecting my friends",4.856743256743254,6.885007003663006,5.65284215784216,76.63647602397604,70.53846153846155,8.699900099900098,30.540959040959038,9.279504587578698,2.9693054945054937,2328,99,399,51,44,759,266,546,0.073,0.757,0.17,0.9956,1,1,0,0,0,0,62.0,0,0,1,13,14,26,0,2,34,0,31,7,0,2,3,81,70,34,0,4,18,0,2,4,1,6,4,3,0,1,22,20,0,4,17,1,4,11,9,6,1,11,7,5,48,20,69,53,24,63,2,3,0,3,15,37,0,13,19,282,70,40,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062342838727036526,0.0,0.0,0.06388465713668369,0.06607566929579,0.0,0.20407751159334372,0.106170385563878,0.0,0.0,0.08676989414638904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04460916769161855,0.0,0.05250046248030308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409201449450755,0.0,0.0,0.06695224915344065,0.056424301726708974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13029014049989374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05093765183259283,0.0,0.0,0.04114454530663551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592056961961419,0.1423036599389022,0.12641427967004576,0.0,0.05375271445216245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060143241969929186,0.0,0.0645165489077784,0.0911548586504854,0.0,0.0,0.0583103766063214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049290312133693566,0.0,0.09999574057972448,0.0,0.10877392009989124,0.0,0.0,0.07033771371696604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06781447722015628,0.0,0.0,0.042762572230357024,0.0,0.0,0.06336598346235736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07202037459978046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0567067497341986,0.0,0.0,0.17530904394402402,0.0,0.0719671208178179,0.06755305612600311,0.0,0.0652379569081933,0.09012507618481712,0.12467426391746593,0.0,0.0,0.05645937770669635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05423892736642602,0.17274103270960978,0.0,0.0425857775477291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429355541377642,0.06767978226426417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379799941047452,0.0,0.0492050859789726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726346456591097,0.0,0.0,0.3458503586327593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06908720698053862,0.0,0.0,0.05570610603694532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192285702512602,0.0,0.06490568034241173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06559514998593732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050734869829492615,0.0,0.5811044366594984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052774510046408235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14606729473729285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16351717921394368,0.06268138350849674,0.0,0.11160368755754273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088212042068621,0.0,0.06939409483758482,0.12464309445360247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026467697577636,0.05264017627360137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05736222162807305,0.0,0.0,0.07122838458243648,0.0,0.061499164539559836,0.0,0.046445831597178217,0.0,0.0,0.09064078683336628,0.0,0.0,0.16433573326864562
bipolarreddit,BornWithoutASafety,2019/06/24,"Will I ever be successful? I was recently dismissed from my college program because I couldn’t pass a class with a 78% or higher. My failure of this class wasn’t due to lack of trying academically, but because my mental health has taken a turn for the worst. I have been struggling a lot lately and I’m so upset that I’ve been dismissed from a program I worked so hard to get into. Has anyone else been through something like this? Have you been successful since?",4.3619047619047615,6.0706838888888885,5.026507936507937,81.925,71.2222222222222,6.920634920634923,29.523809523809533,7.447530270364453,1.86204761904762,370,15,67,4,7,119,61,90,0.209,0.6809999999999999,0.11,-0.8654,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,3,3,6,0,2,6,0,13,1,0,0,1,9,17,5,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,7,1,9,3,10,7,3,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,5,50,12,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17751764418127444,0.26012836991203786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095237695670708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21208278314724044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296475009561435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264095860733224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274251333951856,0.0,0.0,0.2698608124842613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2863858351808818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403213714756943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21583829305150296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25584966238310264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25067424095313456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100107933199477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954479559880287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654087726683569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723667335650875,0.27614674007859835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18482646132670147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,GameGender,2019/06/24,"Am I manic or an insomnia flair-up? Hi, first time poster on any of reddit. Lurker of only a couple months. I've been diagnosed Bipolar since 2016 and countless other diagnoses afterwards for various other mental and physical conditions. I've had reoccurring insomnia my entire life (f19). When I'm in a manic episode I have a hard time differentiating sleep loss from an insomnia flair-up or my mania. I take lamictal 100mg and ambien 10mg, alongside some other medications. Has anyone ever experienced this? And if they have do they have any advice on telling the difference or rather just handling it?",4.611517931609671,7.537794238532115,6.245187656380317,67.93690575479567,74.50458715596329,9.835195996663886,29.175145954962467,10.018931242160765,3.900974311926608,488,21,74,16,11,166,79,109,0.043,0.9570000000000001,0.0,-0.5007,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,2,2,4,1,0,0,6,0,8,9,1,0,1,12,10,9,0,2,6,0,1,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,2,7,0,7,8,2,10,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,5,7,48,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21745204981841304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30265370858828583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15559694029506835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462232979956468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4517230193591477,0.0,0.2324946792294222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012895600321062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892824326265472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19934162074815004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571782979135502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22417382067789285,0.2242561567665077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17761994192329664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692427767026592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18407768433517102,0.0,0.2226889770707716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16731356491646765,0.0,0.1944995161493748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595160473088602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,season2episode3ga,2019/06/24,"My mood is like my weight- never stable! Throughout my years of having bipolar disorder, I developed an eating disorder (which I'm now in therapy for- yay?) which has helped me cope through my highs and lows when I couldn't deal with anything else! 
Throughout my depressive phases and self loathing, I would find myself restricting and in the lovely hypomania bouts I would be eating as if nothing else mattered. In two weeks I had gained 25 pounds just to lose then in the next two weeks. My father is the only one who also has diagnosed BD but doesn't seem to have any/much eating changes when his episodes develop. Sometimes I feel so lonely in my journey, but though time I have been able to slowly change my habits. 
Since my BD had shown up in my developing years 15/16 and manifested itself in a hyperactive, overly sexual personality at a younger age, going on medication seems to only dumb me down as a person I don't know or like. My BD and ED have come together to form my personality and I'm scared of who I am without it. I'm only eighteen and still have quite awhile to go but I don't see the disorders as all too bad. This is who I am.
I have been prescribed lamictal(?) and will be taking it tomorrow for the first time, I think all will be well. I also have therapy. 
Just some words from me. Good luck out there everyone. :)",4.976414529914532,6.099931265384615,5.7464102564102575,79.590811965812,69.03846153846153,9.162393162393165,29.05982905982906,9.444778638647367,2.4947649572649566,1059,38,205,22,18,346,157,260,0.12,0.7929999999999999,0.087,-0.7906,0,2,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,4,13,15,1,1,9,1,29,8,0,0,3,36,43,23,0,4,8,1,2,2,0,4,3,0,0,4,9,11,4,1,6,0,0,4,6,7,1,4,4,3,31,7,30,31,4,35,0,4,1,1,12,15,1,6,18,144,40,0,0.10278448076561167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16439342426649914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458286986475963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582074812865598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21746470382846367,0.08853972901966764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10596628641794056,0.08852812267184629,0.10432408438077297,0.0,0.0,0.3533997593615831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31552255199092305,0.1717264893263334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821497610369732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051970921803187485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09394315332189687,0.08742842683175295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682957817677175,0.08621074588953533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889427085332203,0.10859744718845417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05648766258238571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043061091482826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11498954272475975,0.0,0.0,0.09276700686502068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354455089554278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07555841989665807,0.0,0.07927372802868538,0.0,0.10931246135873887,0.0,0.0,0.09862448140738027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964942425004864,0.2345166878050133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692423320668762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093239472860461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290519614402244,0.0,0.08190592361860709,0.1871422619477794,0.10722662990084614,0.0,0.0,0.0850243846348309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016564796695578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08208381911154394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728113784927944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350860230235977,0.0,0.0,0.06586014501917263,0.10098523048690032,0.0,0.11986891461065385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20081100507762875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16489502121173685,0.12516380727217769,0.09241559212818563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908057158530004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603029221013786,0.0,0.0,0.13237967138295825
bipolarreddit,prosemonster,2019/06/24,"Starting lamictal at 100mg? Help? My psychiatrist prescribed lamictal to be taken once per day, but at 100mg. I read everywhere that it should be tapered up slowly starting from 25mg! I'm pretty afraid of potential bad side effects. My mood/depression/delusion symptoms are severe currently and in the middle of talking to god to take me away, I decided to take lamictal right now because it felt like life or death. I'm also on latuda. What symptoms should I look out for if the dosage was too much for me to handle? I'm 4ft 10in and 95lb and I don't know what the fuck my psychiatrist was thinking?",2.8645454545454534,5.006432666666669,4.496212121212125,82.25727272727276,76.5,7.696969696969697,28.40909090909091,8.575989854853784,2.3515,480,21,91,10,11,161,83,120,0.153,0.753,0.094,-0.8873,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,1,1,3,0,8,4,0,1,0,14,21,7,1,3,3,0,1,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,2,9,1,17,13,1,15,0,0,1,1,2,10,1,2,6,52,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692080760357884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19879533481012085,0.0,0.1766684250248462,0.12898301765551698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13645774679134606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031591368806963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19561111714996166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141824006318904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162840758135128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14945194720131189,0.10337195982029307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776819206225465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15554265526207126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253359510260791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152626266125364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21164679581108545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18069630821698293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390359498784129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2995283262113809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4398450895890561,0.3181779978774475,0.17006765471216126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13557803149189845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TimeToGrowUp42,2019/06/24,Hobbies? I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 a few years ago. I've always had trouble keeping jobs but now I feel lost without one. My therapist told me to find hobbies or to volunteer on my good days. What keeps you busy? I'm a disabled veteran if that helps in any suggestions for hobbies or groups.,2.4869540229885025,4.961977120689653,3.845517241379312,84.70954022988506,79.51724137931033,7.314942528735633,32.08045977011494,8.344100000000001,2.8357494252873576,235,13,44,5,6,77,49,58,0.081,0.7909999999999999,0.128,0.5873,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,10,8,4,0,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,4,1,6,1,7,4,1,6,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,3,4,26,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22863921835046044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146182683573635,0.0,0.0,0.17540111894993046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16634339263557366,0.0,0.0,0.2617933327848945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304170643578361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357431780632465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163392913751052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17288491802761952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559555421053341,0.4585197413569061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815608618696006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17477991787991945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994763950849428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464629915152598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24863513735595785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16609834426067066
bipolarreddit,thatyooshy,2019/06/24,"Seeking a Unicorn- women diagnosed with bipolar BEFORE having children I have posted this before so ignore if you've already  seen it

​

I am searching for women who were diagnosed with bipolar (I or 2 doesnt matter) and I want to talk to them about being pregnant while on psych meds, post partum depression/psychosis issues and the like. 

​

I am currently diagnosed with bipolar 2 and on lithium, wanting to speak with someone with personal experience in this matter (no doctors or therapists please I have that covered) who came to the decision to have children despite their diagnosis. 

If you know someone personally and can refer them to me via email I would be interested in talking to them as well. Also if anyone knows of a support group/online community/reddit page about parents with mental illness I would be interested in joining 

​

Thanks!!",11.61372180451128,10.533816763157898,10.733834586466164,56.78184210526317,55.71052631578947,12.369924812030074,48.03007518796994,11.20814326018867,5.9287864661654135,716,40,94,14,7,230,99,152,0.047,0.8240000000000001,0.129,0.8872,2,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,4,0,5,7,0,0,4,0,14,8,0,0,0,27,22,13,0,7,5,1,0,1,0,2,8,1,0,6,6,11,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,3,2,14,6,23,14,1,10,0,0,1,0,18,5,0,5,3,75,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12181255699314142,0.08827481896268373,0.0,0.3588061998609773,0.4023894547699898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07718373614630189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187858954921587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625099640670082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33611525655301405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298369207521007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797767983805028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521322759091612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213293831023732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0539285195644218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261281484670092,0.0,0.11124208483936657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256944369222753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927677924778381,0.0,0.12116954678974386,0.0,0.0,0.211436572083183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870576502075797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526355347179732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17744651180773396,0.0,0.10162764777033263,0.0,0.12816545567294824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13021582810735854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924934285960092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568286282183693,0.0,0.4023894547699898,0.0
bipolarreddit,cbudryk,2019/06/24,"Does anyone have bipolar workbook recommendations? Or, like, any fun mental health/awareness workbooks? Maybe those journals that have prompts in them or something? Just looking for something to jog my creative and give me something tangible",8.65445945945946,12.783549513513513,5.558040540540541,71.68949324324326,67.37837837837839,5.8621621621621625,44.385135135135144,7.1686216300943375,4.2418702702702715,200,13,23,2,4,55,33,37,0.0,0.7809999999999999,0.21899999999999997,0.8496,0,0,3,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,4,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,3,4,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,2,1,14,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19573872333159276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20126200726051527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518877033089144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27611904529393283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3059567912363337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406223984227737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417102072723046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28917050085318874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900715410326528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.664771912423761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Galaxygoddess87,2019/07/21,Er for severe mixed episode? So question...I have bp 1 with rapid cycling. Can you go to the Dr for severe mania? My symptoms are getting so much worse and I've been unmedicated for a year now. I want my meds back but it's a 3 month wait for a regular psych Dr. I can't even function. Like is that a possibility? I'm scared because I know I will crash soon. Any help would be greatly appreciated.,-0.2646747967479648,2.0263496463414654,2.328658536585369,90.53819105691059,95.21951219512195,4.684552845528454,21.46747967479675,6.42735559955562,0.3977772357723581,309,12,68,4,12,106,67,82,0.195,0.691,0.114,-0.7008,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,1,5,0,9,3,0,0,0,7,15,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,1,0,7,2,6,11,1,6,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,38,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556276482261952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759735599617965,0.0,0.13950644999275072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15115501554080946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956606295423534,0.0,0.13006223368157782,0.0,0.0,0.252310852169787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15339510584363708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12577143024174842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11180584394325126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542037006192381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826680001281566,0.0,0.16823302828912895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579969747028913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563673409751653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291214241599221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5170767034966502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23786552722465326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13498322106655306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23322039958260346,0.16257035492575514,0.0,0.0,0.14737360198330346
bipolarreddit,scoot-n-code,2019/07/21,"Apparently I'm not happy I really thought I was doing well.  For once in a long time I feel like my meds are dialed in and I'm not letting the frustrations in life bring me crashing down.  However, my wife told me last night that I haven't seemed happy for several months and that she can't remember me being happy about anything.  I feel wrecked now because I felt like I was in a good place.

Have meds just made me numb to my own emotions?  Not sure what the hell is going on.

I still enjoy my family family.  Life has handed me some rough shit this past year or two and I try to keep my complaints to a minimum.

Has anyone else discovered they weren't as stable/even/healthy (whatever you want to call it)  as they thought?",2.1081213307240745,4.237096328767123,3.510019569471627,88.47191780821919,78.86301369863014,7.185127201565559,22.757338551859107,8.192908349453996,1.2826982387475536,568,18,118,11,14,186,97,146,0.16,0.7290000000000001,0.111,-0.8637,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,2,0,5,13,3,0,5,0,13,5,2,1,1,20,27,6,0,1,5,1,5,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,7,0,0,2,6,4,1,1,8,5,23,9,15,17,2,18,1,0,0,0,7,7,2,3,11,75,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959349905143768,0.14057990018472813,0.1129057463000948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363720697833424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009881869329954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11461485917825945,0.15433404374529566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906207800517965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586841067188572,0.0,0.1387471416251272,0.09801730173971313,0.13173565861368847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797519010092985,0.11507872243291235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4381629807245663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219516475953801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183813097220772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402985776473196,0.19381998760139185,0.13406016011094776,0.0,0.0,0.12141965755073265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12982406904430174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30480149877592794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951351235610192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287550001149759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461158989624697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097505491233669,0.0,0.0,0.14334713011850034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08789526288999154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15542338253778798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490375878287135,0.0,0.15499946875671833,0.1408361191894655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10956987946577276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293114796541235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21784649266122452,0.08000372465451737,0.0,0.0,0.13110261206038873,0.0,0.09315130913226197,0.0,0.13402664410544024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092543104302488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12336128362257505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835373886197162
bipolarreddit,niftyww,2019/07/21,"Feeling edgy Things are just crazy for me right now.  My condo is going into foreclosure, and the place I work might be going out of business soon.  I just feel like everything is messed up right now.  Also, I didn't sleep much last night.  My mom is coming home from a 3 week vacation tomorrow night and I'm stressing trying to get the house back to being ready for her and I have work this afternoon.   

I was dating this guy, and we lived together in the condo, and then i was hospitalized for a manic episode and then he didn't want me to move back in so I moved in with my mom and he and I haven't been able to pay for the condo, even though he has a roommate now, but we're behind in the property taxes, and I went through a bankruptcy because of credit card debt, and he has a lot of credit card debt too and an auto loan.  

then, i met this new guy and we went out for dinner last night.  we are just friends at this point though.  

I am taking my medication and trying to get sleep, but I just couldn't fall asleep last night.  I will try to meditate more today, I skipped yesterday.",3.855270270270269,4.5275977702702725,4.745963963963966,87.3967837837838,71.29729729729729,8.082162162162161,24.259459459459467,8.238735603445708,1.1621275675675675,843,21,184,12,15,274,121,222,0.071,0.855,0.07400000000000001,0.5406,2,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,3,0,0,2,16,6,0,1,11,0,20,5,3,0,0,33,33,22,0,2,6,2,2,1,1,2,1,0,4,2,5,21,1,0,2,0,7,8,4,2,0,0,8,2,24,4,27,20,3,44,0,0,0,0,14,13,0,2,24,124,29,6,0.11233156033975117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898315082194241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727520721757087,0.0,0.06847627655926446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676369271659108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07419393618022849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095636325254456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359642418703428,0.0802496891516253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678708486800837,0.0,0.11737720792668865,0.0,0.12768122884580896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22245181095822414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112677713976366,0.0,0.0,0.12961553870808334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746956431116105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05487952629572233,0.0,0.09919082578958856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550027558624473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11316222916277613,0.0,0.11916603391119315,0.0,0.2631227316523788,0.0,0.2387813426822972,0.0825766218847055,0.0,0.0,0.10849052095838962,0.0,0.42166223932107744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11736257200116745,0.0,0.10618963329009566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918610775218588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22482536969841616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12867542284045955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445935354031947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07462809729038443,0.0,0.2207303753906436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647718461748776,0.0,0.0,0.2287972675002405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625606469875715,0.0,0.0901056019692806,0.0,0.0,0.20826496367338912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16355742757953098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,porozommrowek,2019/07/21,"So I am crazy My boyfriend treat me in strange way since I was at hospital and diagnosed. I have never ever did anything to deserve this when I feel uncomfortable I am quitting no fuss but now it looks like this. His story:
He dont want to for me to meet his co-workers. You know i may Tell something inapropriet.
He said he do not call his mother because of me on video call. I asked common you think I will show up screaming ? God I never ...
Every situation when people act nervous (but not mentally diagnosed) he is The calm judging person treating me like idiot.

Today i bought my firsth perscripton on my own ( i got pills from hospital. I was nervous couse I didnt know how much I will pay. They give me 200 mg pills instead of 100 mg. I should take twice A day 2×100 mg morning evening. Perscription is little confusing and its A little problem I cannot split 200mg pill they are too small for it. So There he was wise calm judging mental partner he said ""You should check The perscripton"" and told me to behave  
I feel like this was not A support at all... and now he is silently angry at me. Once again couse I am crazy... 
I dont deserve this I rather avoid people never did anything to cause shame ...",1.274497186553166,3.8086871004184095,2.6333429519549867,90.8616317991632,85.94560669456068,5.304919924974751,22.88573077477997,6.8039241337230125,0.7879795411917474,943,35,189,12,29,304,135,239,0.165,0.7390000000000001,0.096,-0.9291,0,1,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,3,2,1,14,17,1,5,5,0,24,5,0,2,5,29,40,11,0,5,6,1,2,3,1,5,5,3,0,2,7,4,0,1,5,2,3,1,11,8,0,1,12,6,38,9,17,23,3,24,0,0,1,0,27,10,0,2,15,122,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112866896711492,0.0,0.12001517931225555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825743673321851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26217457125582033,0.0,0.0,0.13187855738287205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279255424773782,0.0,0.0,0.2605999356256272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30091381073117585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479180759175105,0.11612435970364378,0.1081631719120275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298225520665223,0.09171256509849032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12315093053644224,0.0,0.0,0.10267482628237452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14110530008471278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18815557472606648,0.2573349895718305,0.0,0.0,0.10780435994211626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587476728545381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437187720322894,0.0,0.2970368042581112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13671733110043846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780009159218575,0.11209385768203474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283946556873653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13654475758971424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442318784289745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10619479334020937,0.14430114353837692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883089800672447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14568071517681438,0.0,0.0,0.0965235384913149,0.0,0.11220716947223752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822588075139342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12168639939881368,0.12266973921706036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07572008952425313,0.10189969897275866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345999581311497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Masian,2019/07/21,"I wish I was ""normal"" I've spent 11 weeks of this year in psych wards. 11 weeks away from work without a paycheck. I'm broke and I'm fucked. I've had to defer a year of uni as well because this entire year has been a shit show. I'm now getting ECT and there's a big chance I'm going to forget a heap of things. I'm just sick of this. I'm 27 and I haven't got shit to show for it. Fuck this.",-2.2891666666666666,-0.550498684782605,0.3543478260869595,106.17724637681162,95.63043478260867,3.066666666666667,12.014492753623188,3.1291,-1.9793289855072465,299,4,83,0,12,101,56,92,0.23800000000000002,0.6659999999999999,0.09699999999999999,-0.9368,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,4,6,4,0,5,0,5,5,2,0,0,8,18,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,0,2,1,1,2,5,1,0,5,0,3,1,13,13,0,10,0,1,0,2,0,3,4,0,6,39,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20299980067497145,0.0,0.0,0.1317109724910569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3994964753994728,0.11288483385139254,0.0,0.12279448931178367,0.0,0.17280659557127426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21169742955772103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4435744064269408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14354371708231975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3466279727401557,0.0,0.1942680204264044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484636226804179,0.2082785605906693,0.0,0.15729759945396068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41741554826474697
bipolarreddit,junebug_vs_hurricane,2019/07/21,"I need help getting social services assistance I haven't been able to work in 2 years and my wife is going to kick me out soon. I really need a social worker to help me avoid homelessness but I don't know who to call. 

What agency do I contact? Are there agencies for this? Why won't my doctor or therapist answer when I ask for help? 

I'm in genesee county NY.",0.5090666666666692,2.835360173333335,2.764000000000003,90.08866666666668,87.26666666666668,5.466666666666668,19.0,6.937597516519254,0.40500000000000025,283,8,58,4,9,96,55,75,0.023,0.863,0.114,0.7343,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,1,0,7,1,0,0,0,9,14,4,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,10,0,9,12,0,7,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,1,3,36,13,4,0.2307625775516797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21573185935265307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356343924831644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361952763717998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056392239660275,0.0,0.13114769074830612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4640258743995673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682107765963502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34221505454513496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14783241619311185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4704667743945943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679331385616111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20822733341752045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16799790482665686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14860353409498486
bipolarreddit,bipolar3131,2019/07/26,"Does anyone else feel more ‘normal’ when slightly sleep deprived? I’ve noticed that when I’m a little bit sleep deprived, I feel a bit less stuck in my head. I seem to be able to get into a more productive, follow state. I am able to stay more focused on one thing, and have less of a ‘monkey mind’. The most noticeable change is that I’m more talkative, and have less of a filter. I actually feel a bit more ‘normal’ in day to day, regular, social interactions; feeling less judgemental of my own thoughts, more willing to speak up, and even less afraid of contractional interactions. Normally, at baseline, I tend to be a bit removed, anti-social, and have a bit of trouble getting focused. It’s not a linear relationship, though. If I’m sleep deprived for multiple days, everything is far worse than my baseline state. (more depressed, removed, antisocial, distractible, racing thoughts)

Does anyone else experience anything similar? Wondering if this is a symptom of bi-polar, or perhaps some other personality trait.",7.111500920810316,8.453297640883982,7.373162983425415,69.06574815837939,64.30386740331492,10.011233885819523,37.18278084714549,10.125756701596842,4.143121178637201,807,40,127,18,12,262,105,181,0.125,0.8340000000000001,0.040999999999999995,-0.9306,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,2,11,0,10,5,4,0,0,23,26,10,0,5,4,0,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,6,5,0,0,8,0,0,3,1,7,0,1,3,5,8,0,20,20,20,19,0,4,0,0,6,8,0,7,5,83,14,0,0.20106866625874206,0.0,0.09810700688236357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059188652746382,0.20601860977774947,0.08273119008513756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.548787268066391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063519940740184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945089836117287,0.0,0.08659007380992588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759565448208563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679670700914519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664019788700721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903537761254567,0.09834186882658012,0.0,0.0,0.2033327181957303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505007931703504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10317722994654473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007618131125988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151101734383892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2955069030202149,0.0,0.2289180092097248,0.0,0.0,0.06812466597745348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877827018985671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079362498570766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152268107549122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3018208134672739,0.1024820920382862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10715622259724863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10449366603006073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06679054373597637,0.0,0.09877447185891748,0.15962606142147398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902519577127263,0.0,0.0,0.10245307434719393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ageofaquagang,2019/07/26,"Need advice on hiding depressive energy at work. I work in a minimum wage customer service job, a fast-food style coffee shop, and I just haven't been able to meet the emotional demands that the job entails. We're expected to be super friendly, ""treat every guest like our favorite celebrity"" and engage in conversation with the guests while we're pumping drinks out as fast as possible. I'm pretty quiet/introverted and have a hard time projecting my voice, so the job is already very emotionally draining (the cafe is located in a major metro area), but I also haven't received any medication or therapy for the past year-and-a-half or so. This is because the community clinic I previously went to (after being discharged from a mental hospital) closed my case after I moved to a different city and couldn't attend sessions anymore, and I didn't have any insurance after moving. Naturally, regular sessions with a therapist and psychiatrist (not to mention the cost of meds) were outside of my budget at the time.  

I moved recently for a second time, this time across the country, and it's been pretty rough so far due to a variety of external factors unrelated to my bipolar. I try to come into work at least pretending to be happy, but often that comes off as really forced and I can tell it makes the customers uncomfortable (they really rush to get away from those awkward register transactions lol), so I at least try my best to be neutral. This didn't go over well today. My manager was really on me about not smiling enough, not engaging with the customers enough, not being fast enough, not ""sticking to routine,"" not being loud enough, not being happy enough, not looking like I want to be there. She started calling me out on having dead energy, told me that my smile wasn't good enough and that I should be showing my teeth, would yell across the room for me to follow another co-worker's example while I was doing something else and make snide comments on my hand-offs/interactions with the customers...just really making it very clear to me that I'm not performing well at all at even the simplest requirements of this job. It's like I can't even pretend to be high-functioning anymore, people know there's something wrong with me because of the energy I give off. Until I'm able to get the help I need, I'm not sure how to mitigate this issue for the time being.  

In short, please give me advice on how I can put up a better appearance at work so that I'm not dragging down the mood.",10.888806868867086,7.848061622881358,10.49842105263158,64.04060214094561,58.83050847457627,13.83514719000892,41.79125780553077,12.017980161545427,4.97256186440678,1994,80,345,46,19,656,240,472,0.085,0.773,0.142,0.9793,6,0,3,0,0,0,60.0,1,0,1,9,17,20,0,1,29,1,34,5,1,5,3,56,59,28,1,7,16,0,2,3,3,2,3,3,1,0,16,21,1,1,1,5,4,14,18,3,2,1,10,6,36,16,69,35,11,64,0,1,1,0,18,32,0,4,21,238,52,15,0.14621919354363888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428837036534927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067825802299287,0.05846571812465421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943406567947058,0.07666178675842507,0.0,0.0,0.1450101497259272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868887278788346,0.0,0.0,0.0891338632267147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672401130834552,0.06465949715631096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465307244697741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259548881056322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06296918857102651,0.0,0.0,0.07638396804208394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07161957172220097,0.0,0.0,0.06107368688429875,0.1644769121711884,0.0,0.4532505413543328,0.0,0.09657639830951582,0.0,0.061597988471311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840441461690395,0.0,0.05648429310971164,0.0,0.07639349365189475,0.1402667740843399,0.04154986865674375,0.06132086111087735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556530504620595,0.06549183851927479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04900382163199142,0.07724430298482518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630742456022079,0.29019997520074403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040179122404658825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10715296822300713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06139364816587009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14640367065153684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120828063468499,0.07365022722793163,0.07367727798531805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331117937025407,0.0,0.10841967927593424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979138264200903,0.05068498904486245,0.0,0.0,0.08025238285559083,0.0,0.08242008544145686,0.0,0.14875748658284305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349533776180299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873435190809781,0.0,0.07218690680469884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256667881335644,0.0,0.0,0.05174734888812328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890492974090168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390101001448864,0.0,0.08360719547311324,0.08488587677376126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21315396904725525,0.0,0.06929934925891326,0.06985935275841311,0.0,0.09927323433618827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064614798624855,0.043121934380355685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13146861521493575,0.06777332866118375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661232859048982,0.0,0.0,0.05193495992989466,0.07993386713320925,0.0,0.047080183328766005
bipolarreddit,gemini0524,2019/07/26,DO YOU? Do u even just want to open ur head take the bipolar shit out n sew  it back up?.....,-4.2264285714285705,-3.236937571428573,-1.180595238095238,112.87767857142859,115.1904761904762,2.1,10.011904761904765,3.1291,-2.493866666666667,65,1,20,0,4,22,20,21,0.17800000000000002,0.764,0.057999999999999996,-0.5661,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,3,1,1,0,1,0,2,3,2,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,11,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3821986393532799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3282950079754212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5101138566135325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.510211839338679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3737176590383819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931713345934454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,trailmixme,2019/07/26,"i was doing so well a few months ago i really got my shit together; moved out of my abusive household, starting dating an amzing guy, started my favourite job i’ve had yet, but here i am. i’ve been late more times to this job than any of my previous combined, but my boss is amazing and so forgiving and i excell at what i do and i’m needed there (which makes me feel worse) so he forgives me and we move on (he even hides it from the other boss who is much less forgiving). last week i was manic and things were great, other than the constant hallucinations and irritability, but after realizing i was manic there was a thing in the back of my head telling me everything i’ve built up will all come crumbling down. i was late 3 times in a week and i think that sobered me up a bit from my mania (if that’s possible), and i’m now in a depressive state, thinking about the fact that i’m letting so many people i like and respect down every time i’m late and that it’s only going to get worse. my previous bosses were abusers and i was petrified to be later than 15 min early. my responsibility at this job will only get bigger and i’m terrified that when it does things will go irreversibly sour. 

anywho: today i was scheduled at 7am, spent the night at my bf’s who also works at the same place but works evenings, i went to bed around 3:30am and woke up to him coming to bed at 6 after drinking with our buddy, so we stayed up talking for a bit because there’s no point in sleeping for 20min. i told him i want to quit, to save everyone from me letting them down more and more, that i just can’t do it, and i’ve already become so bored with this easy, nice, and happy life im currently living (all i know is chaos). he’s new to bipolar and i only told him about my diagnosis while manic earlier. he kept offering to go in for me this morning “no questions asked” but i kept refusing because I want the punishment, i want them to fire me, to save themselves, but he went in anyway because he couldn’t consciously do that knowing they might get fucked over. boss man told him it’s not busy enough and if i’m feeling up to it to come in for 9, and if not my bf would go in at 11 rather than 2. I never went in today and i feel so unbelievably guilty and shameful for making my partner do that for me, i apologized a few times but not nearly as many as i felt i needed to, but that would’ve been annoying and i feel like also attention seeking, he kept saying he loves me and it’s alright but he’s only going to do this once. 

i’m sorry this is so long, but now i have to think about whether i really do want to quit because eveytime something like this happens is pushes me further away from wanting to be better.

all of this morning i was thinking about how i can EASILY change the situation and go in to work and not make my grave any deeper than it is, but all the while those thoughts are trying to counteract the thoughts AND feelings of uselessness and stupidity, those thoughts only got stronger and made it impossible for me to do anything about it, KNOWING that all of this is in my hands and i’ll only feel worse if i don’t. 

i have so much more to say but can’t find the words, my thoughts are racing but the only ones sticking with me are horrible ones, but fuck i’m so grateful for my boyfriend, even though i feel absolutely disgusting for him having to cover my ass today. idk, i can’t really talk to anyone at the moment and i can’t stop moping around and crying, but typing this novel helped me calm down.

if anyone has advice, kind words, or ways to cope with keeping a healthy level life going, rather than getting bored of it and burning it to the ground, i’d fu(king love to hear it 
(after reading this over it sounds so unbelievably stupid, and sad, but these feelings are so powerful, this situation feels like life or death, although i know life will spin on)",4.5377744600378245,5.057513223350256,5.4554255001493,83.46976759231612,69.68527918781726,8.312371852294218,28.39514282870509,8.313332769828598,1.8001171195381709,3052,102,631,42,51,1003,329,788,0.149,0.7140000000000001,0.13699999999999998,-0.935,5,0,2,0,1,1,70.0,3,0,3,8,41,37,8,1,23,1,54,15,5,9,7,143,132,79,2,16,31,0,12,4,3,6,5,4,2,3,48,45,1,6,30,3,1,16,13,15,1,2,32,17,79,22,105,89,18,102,0,4,0,5,47,43,4,9,44,427,127,13,0.0,0.1308891101753187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053975095255472866,0.04896257873994616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06095330048830538,0.08834297052127676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512351695059352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724332496198248,0.0,0.04545377658752369,0.09834188957269874,0.051637357337192914,0.0,0.05189518968108637,0.04247237835089626,0.0,0.134683204176101,0.0610028224743549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04885095261313309,0.12060483525546875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05843140626048494,0.14274042965489175,0.0,0.059689514723460874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060673157867028024,0.0,0.0,0.04757390611211118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04833660357822292,0.0,0.0,0.054109364567377305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05707261807715312,0.0,0.10944677730697633,0.0,0.046537949538981715,0.052779500015834833,0.04964174151996683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25135671149727257,0.0789199253534375,0.05303435291346068,0.0,0.05048387587047405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212790997255994,0.11543222890579345,0.0,0.21973964040394148,0.0,0.08835310207690987,0.060896886882999476,0.0,0.05469142778356944,0.048844211809853585,0.058798785380513335,0.0,0.0,0.056687142468077614,0.0,0.062253966070079075,0.0,0.037022919658959784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059663380645494625,0.0,0.16443692566839274,0.04909549005191929,0.0,0.05751885130506103,0.12142305405699792,0.04502397429503263,0.18692277801520446,0.0,0.0,0.11296325320730385,0.1560567234764893,0.10794030891527012,0.0,0.04877360055731512,0.0488813206457677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997036589436586,0.052264782116036426,0.11060956382165303,0.11199943303156708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058595706727083925,0.0,0.0,0.04408812560096502,0.11741232856787218,0.08120830004421276,0.08191224564948238,0.042600710153690886,0.053346398634730716,0.0,0.05183439463034475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058823573156964334,0.0748574593028882,0.29406144945602963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03829305990490647,0.0,0.05770891775119095,0.0,0.05221501803408245,0.062269270027535475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06187594718817036,0.1174986444312291,0.055250042082231283,0.0,0.1061550480845628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08785032852965986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05669803094057797,0.0,0.12417312136275464,0.05527498480596495,0.0,0.0,0.042522674428131776,0.0,0.061831166331758385,0.0781913686176028,0.0588732616669236,0.0,0.04617901241727281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879175367304229,0.048277907336686535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008722768317904,0.1415696735052792,0.05426820008035203,0.17540198142759375,0.12883211158981164,0.0,0.15706923386293511,0.1583385000475045,0.0,0.03750100356167288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628954496745405,0.043843047175878426,0.08861252244736148,0.0,0.049662983586566685,0.1536104584385237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063542032407445,0.0,0.16886784103878996,0.07847485297842666,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,effycode21,2019/07/26,"Would drug use be considered more of manic or hypomanic episode I forsure get into risky  behaviour. I dont know if it would be considered an ""episodic"" thing. Like this past couple weeks i did mdma, shrooms 2×, cocaine plus whippits with the coke, xanax, and weed",5.078125,7.335440562500002,5.069166666666664,80.0925,70.45833333333334,8.133333333333335,32.83333333333333,8.841846274778883,2.9934833333333333,209,10,36,4,4,65,43,48,0.039,0.907,0.054000000000000006,0.1779,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,6,3,0,1,0,10,9,4,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,4,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35867021400026905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37990605106238107,0.0,0.37591570539064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16935707588888096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17814655036569785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15836526125950234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.309441653247377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153535010671639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27996496213333016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600167705515001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4605393747384932,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,stonerinwonderland,2019/07/26,Going through a depressive episode It’s been rough for a few weeks now. I thought it was my PMDD acting up but it didn’t go away. I hate feeling like this. Since my doctor put me on Lamictal (7months now) I’ve been feeling better so this feels like it came out of nowhere. It’s like everything I’ve learned in therapy is harder to apply to situations and my microdoses (psilocybin 5 days on 2 days off) haven’t been helping either. Fuck me.,1.6494318181818173,4.155959625000005,3.1283636363636376,88.30754545454548,83.43181818181819,6.701818181818182,26.981818181818184,7.908726449838941,1.8554509090909088,349,16,71,7,10,114,64,88,0.11900000000000001,0.677,0.204,0.743,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,3,7,2,0,2,0,7,2,0,0,0,10,16,3,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,5,0,0,5,2,3,0,0,7,4,7,4,12,9,2,17,0,1,0,1,1,7,1,0,8,42,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19661296189010646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18507939836901408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393453659860936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26991943040436794,0.0,0.180241109953839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141933442100421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18807542459336926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31743460772978765,0.29900035766784444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19346370053513215,0.0,0.0,0.23786218673218115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20660755067012104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026706399380387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067114308703311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21037084255385888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17310758431566375,0.2352245490218215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23931471969348664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661343917509635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16786113131097208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,suckstob3m3,2019/07/26,"My husband is having an emotional affair My husband is having an emotional affair. I've known about it for four months already. I asked him to stop talking to her and he straight up said no, that wasn't going to happen. 

I don't know what to do. We can't afford marriage therapy. 

Honestly, I'm so unstable right now I literally don't think I would be able to survive without him. I have no other support system, no friends, no supportive family. I am scared I would commit suicide without him. But I'm just so angry and hurt about this other woman. I hate this so much.",1.3206700379266751,3.8968170530973474,3.534848293299621,84.09559734513276,86.43362831858408,6.060429835651075,24.885587863463968,7.447530270364453,1.6523304677623267,449,19,82,8,14,153,73,113,0.252,0.607,0.141,-0.9477,1,0,0,0,0,2,14.0,1,0,0,1,7,7,1,1,2,0,14,0,0,0,1,14,25,6,1,2,4,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,7,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,10,3,0,1,2,1,15,4,11,20,1,8,0,1,0,0,16,3,0,0,3,63,22,0,0.17642791969794286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19469259654482252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649362888990695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3969153262227993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663205410084681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630777311025333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10026805254734587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15601462672673833,0.0,0.0,0.1741860447166852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888697370056752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969601706772832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14082308228236168,0.0,0.12969482103460725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15066847943626754,0.16782335321982986,0.0,0.1766351257170804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475016407867761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19298350873945136,0.4004166250155735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14180607888238655,0.0,0.0,0.2017607020202629,0.0,0.0,0.11304788709527627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401404374876412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506586643782225,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Padashar,2019/07/26,"Has anyone had any successes with EMDR? I just completed my 3rd session today using the alternating buzzing paddles not the eye movement kind. I was really surprised at the amount of territory we covered in those 3 sessions and I really had some breakthroughs. I was just curious as to other peoples experiences with it. My only concern was when the therapist was asking questions and making comments during the session, some of the things said could maybe be seen as planting a thought in my head instead of me coming to realizations on my own based on the questions. I am really interested to hear other people thoughts.",8.093142857142855,9.363683690909095,8.345844155844159,63.21590909090912,62.09090909090909,10.64935064935065,40.259740259740255,10.608840637214634,4.9362467532467535,506,27,71,12,7,166,77,110,0.0,0.871,0.129,0.9258,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,8,0,10,2,2,2,0,18,19,5,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,6,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,10,4,11,4,15,7,4,9,0,0,2,0,7,5,0,4,2,59,16,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12806287322917226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13167650469441933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17605215024508136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622195045313975,0.19744811073300444,0.0,0.0,0.15035680551191533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18421139188101832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932688626489044,0.0,0.2122483634542549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19610448663664284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257038996096901,0.0,0.18919100197483046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14322452124523302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611123373994482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4219190955026775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3619244949469221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17913378791838167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21865201230466688,0.12511028286223488,0.0,0.0,0.2990073231859001,0.0,0.0,0.17850368922087895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16264651111054768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ChaoticEmu93,2019/07/26,"Thoughts on a Thursday Sometimes I feel like my mental illnesses inappropriately applies a magnifying glass to moments in my day.

 It makes me numb to something significant and explode about something minute. 

It makes me feel like I am walking on air one moment, full of accomplishment. And then an hour later I'm questioning if I even have friends. Who could like me?

I feel very defensive most of the time, and I'm not sure where that comes from. I don't know if It's a result of low self-esteem or paranoia, or a combination of the two.

I feel like I always need a reason to be somewhere, I don't usually feel comfortable just existing.",4.359344262295083,6.353714114754107,5.417180327868851,77.9536393442623,71.78688524590163,8.48655737704918,31.052459016393442,9.120678840339163,2.8351678688524595,510,23,94,11,10,168,81,122,0.13,0.735,0.135,0.1353,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,4,10,1,0,8,0,6,2,0,4,1,27,19,8,0,4,6,0,5,4,1,0,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,9,0,0,2,3,3,0,2,1,5,13,7,12,16,2,18,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,6,13,60,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409310763719603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458989851924362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352297641663618,0.0,0.0,0.10923093150886792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11186861199925753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4281978742512404,0.36299818290904495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13085639101370514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16679730765523626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308242455578457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33098642557342783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261142572314533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17068714444466646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12558719569487575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147708540542549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18973540834368893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17414263013552644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17669194000653954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26078168862455164,0.16751324389901184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15963111039442274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13446245303223095,0.09876217824163623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545183829166166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865393349479056,0.13974964229897993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,momsbiryani,2019/03/29,"Depressed as fuck, but I managed to apply to a fellowship!! Honestly these days I'm just trying to celebrate the small wins because they're all I've got. It was nice to like write all this stuff that I've accomplished and how I like helping people because it reminded me that I'm not a bed potato, my depression is. ",7.91,6.309681904761906,8.333333333333332,72.72000000000001,63.28571428571429,12.20952380952381,38.460317460317455,11.20814326018867,4.252231746031745,252,11,48,6,3,84,47,63,0.113,0.512,0.375,0.9753,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,2,8,1,0,3,0,2,1,0,1,2,8,6,4,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,4,5,5,4,2,2,0,2,0,1,2,1,1,0,3,28,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3851530373042737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037365716653956,0.0,0.5441876601495158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920547885691652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526630237849269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117485998903901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30867648331205144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21901303017360685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3616427115724568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21448294925997405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,whatiswong,2019/03/29,"Diagnosed today Hello everyone! 
Left the doctor today telling me I have ‘severe depression’ and ‘bipolar 1 disorder’ 
Ah honestly feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders so I can hopefully acknowledge the feelings I have going forward and hopefully get the help I need to feel like myself. 

So she tried putting me on medication but I personally feel like the diagnoses was rushed and there’s more than just what she asked me about. So she referred me to a psychiatrist and I have a follow up with her in a week. 

Baby steps ... but I feel oddly emotionally validated cuz before I thought I just was being weak when I was down and think ‘ oh you’re not depressed you were happy asa clam yesterday’ 
",6.125945716709076,7.481260458015273,6.840865139949107,71.9420271416455,66.55725190839695,10.402374893977948,32.876166242578456,10.504223727775694,3.754185072094996,564,24,96,15,9,186,91,131,0.028999999999999998,0.778,0.193,0.9582,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,8,10,0,0,8,1,11,8,1,1,0,24,25,12,0,3,5,0,6,3,0,0,6,0,0,1,1,6,1,0,9,0,0,6,1,3,1,0,6,6,21,7,10,18,1,17,0,2,0,0,10,7,0,2,9,68,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13744538125048913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510458180818987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532590357192573,0.2984477272889399,0.0,0.0,0.16849952982567018,0.15048287215389186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16537954958547235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14048547168120767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3716927780707927,0.31509685393941866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681273562736603,0.0,0.0835557826698002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565072631606068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854550213139512,0.0,0.0,0.29205131182051675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15973943543009744,0.0,0.0,0.2154820319465061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14810882871081346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090146786449476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12837361984736914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14779734973415046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660925982816732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12850338828411062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420552654049777,0.0,0.11671875485406763,0.0,0.0,0.278718636329385,0.0,0.0,0.0998180386759947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179318865198071,0.17903274225187854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,paint1218,2019/03/29,"Anxiety related to BP I have intense anxiety. To the point of affecting my jobs, relationships, pretty much everything. Tell me I'm not alone and what helps you. I'm on 3mg Ativan 3x a day. They help to an extent but make me very sleepy.",1.62125,3.901610291666668,4.133166666666663,82.52850000000002,81.5,8.840000000000002,24.18333333333333,9.3871,2.451578333333334,186,7,38,6,5,65,41,48,0.057,0.7659999999999999,0.17600000000000002,0.5529,1,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,5,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,5,4,2,3,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,1,20,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880154914618854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4254733989709735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17934387292269885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24992772841602745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.372793295576512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27595961276181546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18562602211094376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20442681236730756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26288321978412443,0.0,0.0,0.282915657483606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985626378588454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24306132991898294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.229451875428034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PrimaryAstronomer,2019/03/29,"I go blank when I think about making long term plans It just seems so overwhelming. All I’ve been able to do is have exciting ideas, act on them, and then the excitement fades in a day or two and I’m frustrated at how little I’ve accomplished.",3.0005999999999986,4.52843846,3.916999999999998,89.24350000000004,74.4,9.0,22.5,9.516144504307137,1.6348000000000011,193,5,43,5,4,62,44,50,0.065,0.763,0.172,0.6829999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,2,5,4,1,1,2,0,4,0,0,2,1,10,9,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,1,0,3,2,5,8,2,12,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,2,6,25,4,1,0.3666148368430577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23643624047504544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20835566042014014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41386352628449996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3674443796901644,0.0,0.32444259390998875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447182504036043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337523783716009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349119841907333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3581294243763707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,karwankareem1,2019/03/29,"Lamictal success stories Does anybody here take lamictal? If so, what dose and how long and can you guys please share your experiences?
Thanks in advance 😊",3.9250000000000007,7.2551999259259325,3.649907407407409,80.91708333333334,86.77777777777777,7.1444444444444475,32.675925925925924,8.07648339933343,3.3439703703703705,126,7,20,3,4,38,25,27,0.0,0.6579999999999999,0.342,0.8875,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,2,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,4,3,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,11,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35420022969862125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3959240341168328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4007670140111662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35819179915452826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4442949306658297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3043222959423235,0.0,0.0,0.3726402377174952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CrochetCatsCoffee,2019/03/29,"Electroconvulsive therapy Dear friends, i have been diagnosed bipolar type 2 for about 5 years (currently in a depression) and have taken a lot of anti- depressants: Cymbalta, citalopram, wellbutrin sertralin, Tolvon (mianserine), mirtazapin and I‘m probably forgetting some. My point is that my depressions always, always recur, and hence I‘m thinking of trying ECT. I‘m seeing my pdoc on Wednesday and will raise the issue. I would like to be prepared for the talk, and would really value any experience you may have, in particular regarding recurrence of depression and general cognitive effects, e.g. on memory, speech. Were you still able to hold down a job afterwards? I am currently dropping out of a career in science because I can‘t handle the cognitive strain anymore, but am hoping to hold down a normal office job. If you have any experience with ECT, I would really, really love to hear from you",9.69681286549707,10.763442131578946,9.395350877192985,57.783567251462024,58.605263157894754,13.860818713450296,40.57309941520468,13.023866798666859,6.328032748538012,732,36,99,27,9,237,102,152,0.057999999999999996,0.8190000000000001,0.12300000000000001,0.9053,4,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,4,0,1,2,10,0,1,8,0,16,3,0,1,0,24,25,8,0,6,2,0,0,1,1,5,2,2,0,0,1,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,3,3,12,5,21,16,2,17,0,4,1,1,8,9,0,5,8,69,13,4,0.14267731835988426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374379170341865,0.0,0.0,0.19405093819688424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414975612738953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697476898919476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4915510609449827,0.14481447480132525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.279131589973749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102321422384557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16080770726323668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417107703265581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14891805163666372,0.2831704460016039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06970493084091488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129915388038574,0.1287718503142195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397934787296427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348761832349341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15383028083121464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742082308086352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136953502381476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139422907460091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467862397691148,0.0,0.0,0.16316394799612,0.0,0.0,0.09142186454740048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686853358121204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30406162005184056,0.0,0.0,0.09187951516413337
bipolarreddit,CREST_BD,2019/03/29,[Cross-post] World Bipolar Day AMA on r/IAmA! - We are a psychology teacher with bipolar disorder and a professor of psychiatry from an international research team working to improve lives of people with BD - Ask us anything! Join us at r/IAmA! - [reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/b6zhfx/we\_are\_a\_psychology\_teacher\_with\_bipolar\_disorder/](https://reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/b6zhfx/we_are_a_psychology_teacher_with_bipolar_disorder/),23.43318181818181,31.3502705,13.319272727272725,15.243909090909142,37.18181818181819,8.974545454545455,38.345454545454544,9.3871,4.986132727272729,378,13,28,6,5,95,37,44,0.06,0.8059999999999999,0.134,0.5067,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,8,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,16,3,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23980546748429546,0.0,0.2724288617042674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18793523819696345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3339809216611869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257320226406658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20202689020169945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790900723103714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7010603111058551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21214983321407654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LV42069,2019/03/29,"FINALLY employed again, and as a result, severely depressed again I guess this is just what my life is going to be: any little change and things just become hopeless, desperate, unbearable in my head. Infrequently I get lucky and stress will catalyze a short upswing, but more often it's this. I was *so* *happy* to get this job. It felt like I was finally closing the chapter that landed me in the psych ward a few months ago. The start of my new life. But I feel destroyed, incapable of anything - forget building a life, can I even keep an entry level job? Can I perform the basic operations of said job without feeling the need to go to the bathroom and cry?

My main takeaway is this: for all the progress I make, sooner or later it gets taken away. My experience of cyclical mood disorder prevents upward trend, it's fluctuation in stasis. I project this into the future and don't see a life worth living. Even if by some miracle I am able to ""build"" a ""life,"" I will feel the same ways about it. ",4.195881326352532,5.918329146596861,5.129926701570682,80.9630226876091,71.6701570680628,7.606422338568938,28.96369982547993,8.238735603445708,2.1265787783595123,781,31,143,12,15,255,124,191,0.156,0.767,0.077,-0.9163,4,0,0,0,0,1,32.0,0,0,0,2,9,8,1,1,16,0,12,6,1,2,1,30,29,11,0,2,7,0,4,1,0,2,5,1,0,0,13,7,0,2,4,0,1,2,2,4,0,0,5,6,17,3,19,21,6,23,0,2,1,0,1,10,0,6,11,100,30,6,0.12843148092116713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11384675872448048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733781112953327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10568816572674536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066560403126113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14184248032843366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13586347740794752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107595111416002,0.0,0.0,0.11061784632490873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14719360391735145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696555637645728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12563063240992384,0.0,0.0,0.19481644706390386,0.0,0.12331436243005255,0.2813808193358929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013004439022524,0.0,0.1459811406242771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14148175572785446,0.0,0.0,0.1367176996142661,0.0,0.0,0.13180775190826027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38234528253495786,0.11415580131282793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.453574765723736,0.06274513425340142,0.12872208404366725,0.1134073506271975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08572901080167251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025127827634753,0.0,0.0,0.09523031575365967,0.0,0.12403992458087636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221677488692295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234326221428093,0.0,0.0,0.14509101687328185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090446322920663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147117827470518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853241691323794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194293156185454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12380336451992068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FlyPolar,2019/03/29,People who're doing well on Lamotrogine; what dose are you on? I saw a post where a lot of people were calling it a life saver. I've been on it about a year now and I seemed to have plateaued a while ago and am now slipping a bit. I'm on 150mg a day. Just wondered what dose people were taking. Maybe I need to speak to my doc about an increase?,0.5455451127819515,2.1308967500000016,1.9969172932330816,100.08342105263156,81.5,4.342857142857143,18.75187969924812,3.1291,-0.8754751879699247,267,6,66,0,7,86,52,76,0.0,0.9259999999999999,0.07400000000000001,0.5803,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,7,1,0,0,8,0,7,3,0,0,0,7,13,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,2,5,1,10,9,3,13,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,3,6,43,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22697037906023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795372086080248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26145280201868315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651292510228475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808536978336204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21768215897275026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25723381078222424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898557421115738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.532532632818735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24522242369589106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330957392862676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192515616433966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302171678859865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776722481301989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488599125778575
bipolarreddit,Mishelle_v,2019/03/29,Tomorow is Bap day.. What are u going to do? It says 30.03 we shoud spread awareness acceptance let people know about bipolar disorder and so on. But im thinking about doing something for myself to make myself happier. As we are bap i think we all can do something to enjoy tomorow. I feel so out lately and a little bit sleepy or depressed and i dont know. Just let me know if you have some idea what to do tomorow.. Thanks. Love u all :) ,0.2058653846153824,2.6127704431818195,1.934090909090912,93.25286713286717,94.5681818181818,4.071328671328671,20.405594405594407,5.8734145424116955,0.15829265734265796,341,12,68,3,13,111,61,88,0.061,0.74,0.2,0.9287,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,3,1,0,0,5,5,0,0,1,0,12,2,0,1,2,23,22,9,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,7,0,0,8,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,10,4,10,20,4,6,0,1,0,1,6,3,0,3,2,48,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22070844127567216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130377704577342,0.0,0.17412175293234136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316950581304777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369322475627294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221913368053938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489326968951333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282161840200322,0.21836954904189249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333086887323181,0.0,0.22804743489908325,0.0,0.0,0.41344849041916976,0.0,0.0,0.20261933909791294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18245901259533706,0.0,0.13494464170002146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14015361068045756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16076726139765402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112682231031956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18612352122870005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590743721432942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,koolandkrazy,2019/03/29,"How do you combat your fatigue on lithium? I'm new to this subreddit. But it helps so much. Knowing other people. I'm in a fog, exhausted all the time. Im feeling great mentally now, but im just too tired to go out and do anything. How did you combat this?",-0.7850000000000001,1.3753489259259304,2.12027777777778,91.88375000000002,96.77777777777777,4.922222222222223,21.564814814814817,6.6274283507984215,0.7067481481481481,198,8,42,3,8,69,42,54,0.20800000000000002,0.6970000000000001,0.095,-0.7691,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,0,6,3,0,0,2,0,3,3,0,2,1,10,8,6,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,3,1,5,7,2,7,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,28,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325679355728759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428985563260307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16061652822767425,0.0,0.0,0.3115838622985081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18943077210284248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.61054505512002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15531772678235986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848092901816275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077544278009373,0.0,0.0,0.2729511766054755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19592954771764867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16479498777314472,0.3248241878859218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,raging_loner_,2019/03/29,"Nervous about adding Abilify I'm currently taking 300er lamictal, 7.5 buspar, just added 450er lithium, and .5 klonopin prn for paranoia. My psychiatrist wants to up the lithium to 300 2x day plus a low dose of abilify. 

Before my diagnosis I had gone to my previous Dr for what I thought was extreme out of control anxiety (later figured out it was a mixed episode). He had prescribed an antidepressant which made everything terrible and switched to abilify. I ended up with akathesia, and a worse episode, truly the worst thing I've ever experienced. He added mirtazapine but nothing we tried helped so I gave up quit everything, dropped out of college two terms shy of finishing my BA, burned bridges, quit my job, just basically imploded.   

After a few years of anually destroying my life I ended up in the emergency mental health clinic who connected me with a new doctor, received a BP1 diagnosis and treatment with lamictal. I was still having some issues so she added trazadone, which gave me such bad paranoia I still have nightmares about it. I also was waking up to eat in the middle of the night but food never tasted so good so I was ok with getting fat as long as I got the happy too. But sleeping with a baseball bat to cope with my special brand of paranoia wasn't  going to work. We took a bit of a med change break then she added Prozac. I was weary of any antidepressant but she said since I was on a mood stabilizer it should be fine. I ended up manic although less intense I kept quitting my jobs and other disruptive stuff that was tanking my progress so we raised the lamictal and added the buspar and while it wasn't perfect it wasn't worse.

I know I need help with the lows, I'm just coping everyday instead of living a real life. I have kids and a fiance and they deserve to experience life that doesn't depend on where my crazy brains at that day. I'm scared though of trying the abilify again though. It was just so bad the last time. I'm terrified it's going to spin me out of control again but if the Dr says it's  what I need I don't want to refuse without trying. I'm stuck between this could blow apart the rickety house of cards I've rebuilt my life into, or it could be the last piece of the medication puzzle that finally let's me live a real life.",5.320128205128206,6.3888579208144805,5.907131221719457,78.95306485671195,68.20814479638008,8.97025641025641,31.70165912518853,9.21078282632365,2.7622821116138763,1819,75,340,34,30,590,235,442,0.146,0.7809999999999999,0.073,-0.9846,3,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,3,0,1,8,24,16,1,2,29,1,25,20,4,4,3,60,49,31,0,8,12,0,0,0,0,1,14,2,0,1,22,25,4,4,3,0,0,5,7,9,0,1,24,4,41,6,57,19,7,55,0,2,0,0,19,21,0,5,27,222,63,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261986994515136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061753187589051774,0.0,0.06946858426537962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15164332990826654,0.0,0.0,0.07727171256054732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09913983420898408,0.0,0.0,0.10137280019597293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09606380900055328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036998772883179,0.14500708569066822,0.0,0.0,0.11712849713981766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294678959232093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09292020769719013,0.0,0.0,0.2412892801444859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214187771470424,0.0,0.0,0.16322642500062093,0.08882856015975693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09947674607186677,0.0,0.0,0.10980652077802172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047443918860520747,0.0,0.10321761725931757,0.07616622358596815,0.07262819830730716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666779647708036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09652564807707703,0.0,0.0,0.12173462561917893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10478131504661148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478093188897192,0.18022770550967915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04990621405377458,0.14804279903319026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285828524998356,0.32070517031685264,0.0,0.0,0.16037190093697098,0.0803630470448797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592560692905676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086825181188276,0.09148044519558997,0.0915140447569454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13466734457492704,0.0700374463905317,0.08770383219032278,0.0,0.08521803092040484,0.0,0.08713361918420091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28975943055726405,0.0,0.2067208899675096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638008916967932,0.0722149073640921,0.09091558246934182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751180867713844,0.0,0.0908745129158326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14504026046244708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395450105447357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06827701539606723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06032941923054539,0.0,0.17843862884567452,0.07209214838619184,0.05295141839360088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089206451407322,0.1849599114944036,0.0,0.08870713130625077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712292149762427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753656972253998,0.0,0.06610998387323525,0.0,0.18508411903886834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05847797478582825
bipolarreddit,OpalMagnus,2019/03/29,"I Don’t Feel Right My brain is expanding, I feel sick, I feel like there is a baby forming inside my body that I must protect, everyone hates me and wants to hurt me, I was laughing earlier, Now I feel lonely. There is no one to reach out to. A friend asked if I had anything to talk about. I said no. 

Jesus is the only one who cares. He’ll help me. I love him. He is the only one who can protect me.  I imagine myself clinging to his clothed crying “Help me Lord” and he looks on me with pity. I imagine hugging his legs as he blesses my forehead. As he pushes my hair back and says, “I love you my daughter”. I am taking all the arrows for him. People hate me because they hate Jesus. But Jesus is love. Jesus is there when no one else is. I love him. I don’t know why I ever strayed from this man. He is my savior. He alone brings water to my lips when I am dehydrated. He alone gives me bread when I am famished. I know if I believe he will touch my forehead and say, “be cured my daughter! Be afflicted no more”. He will stop the swirling in my brain. All can become clear in the light of the Lord. I have faith like the woman by the well or the woman who washed his feet with her hair. Yes, I am a good woman with good faith. I will be saved from these woes I have. As long as I believe in Him, none can touch a hair on my head without feeling the wrath of the Lord. I am safe. He will stroke my hair as I fall asleep and say “you are safe.” 

Thank you Jesus, I love you. Thank you for curing the terrible thoughts and moods. Thank you for giving me sleep in my insomnia. Thank you for quelling the wickedness that rises up from my bones. 

I think today, I will write a love letter to you. ",0.13194915254237216,2.2493567005649737,1.7948333333333366,97.95733474576271,86.5141242937853,4.330960451977401,18.172033898305088,5.518913224919472,-0.5562969491525425,1288,33,298,7,40,418,162,354,0.128,0.636,0.23600000000000002,0.9926,0,4,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,8,1,0,12,35,4,0,18,1,33,29,16,0,5,37,65,18,0,4,5,2,12,2,1,7,4,4,0,4,7,10,2,5,11,0,0,4,8,9,1,4,4,18,71,25,35,51,5,22,11,4,1,7,56,9,0,3,11,197,78,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187141326417323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434662630585581,0.0,0.08446082146723055,0.0,0.0,0.06947009200643044,0.0,0.055073761754839134,0.09977947679155456,0.0,0.2035768200398233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035345352010508,0.0,0.20171085371127706,0.0,0.0,0.0921132308841352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924025974057962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547204977305205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08172265266052361,0.0,0.08632897107529344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284069285098981,0.0645428239283924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980068829065199,0.0,0.0,0.17333522004744614,0.0,0.1515549925994839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26759235077554816,0.09272051991776158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111333223703698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671669736403968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930301839175694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827646911593427,0.0,0.0,0.07995290055579501,0.07586744319041605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4892418999686813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448817225244711,0.1374236066050112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626341753886139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771545402612577,0.08593923368195773,0.21553903887825807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904107193715324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755328607898959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679285520266502,0.07261626893268139,0.0,0.3327118927863712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05788973107697727,0.0,0.07172421383619082,0.0,0.0,0.0856369445390962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053288100717253054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123143023846763,0.0,0.08152273699929245,0.0,0.0,0.08708981193947378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,olivetalife,2019/03/29,"Anyone else dye/cut their hair during mania? It’s currently 1am and I’m going through a really bad manic episode so now I’m dying my hair. 

But, this isn’t the first time. I’ve shaven my hair twice during really bad days and colored it so many different times. People say “omg you’re so creative!” But truly this reflects how I’m feeling and it’s usually horrible. 

I guess it could be worse and this is a safe coping mechanism. ",0.5477586206896561,3.0293354137931026,2.835201149425288,87.64866379310347,91.41379310344827,6.118390804597702,19.893678160919546,7.492282038375204,1.0532919540229888,339,11,66,7,12,115,61,87,0.158,0.7190000000000001,0.12300000000000001,-0.6337,2,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,5,3,0,0,3,0,4,3,3,1,0,12,10,10,1,1,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,7,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,2,0,6,4,1,1,8,0,8,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,7,32,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16409380262322304,0.2404575251430099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3918962098607162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873729867297748,0.0,0.0,0.15134926845626467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24356092245290756,0.2451907854490861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19604513409387692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866132445678435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996187976483532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333741253876789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585266199156917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23792881607362604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16269765230763067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006841996409044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866270577713531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736877406708803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584670064851691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23915910050451916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Eira_Grey,2019/03/29,"Not feeling anything... Or crying all the time. No in between right now. If I smile or laugh it's fake. It's an empty mockery of the other humans around me. I hate my depression because it makes me seem like I couldn't care less about someone. Which it's not that I don't care, it's just that I don't feel anything. It's like static on an old TV. Add in horrid thoughts about yourself, the urge to bang your head on a wall, not sleeping at night and being exhausted in the morning, bursts of anger.. Bad bad anger. For being so numb there is a lot to it.

I just screamed at my cats because thd older of the two was trying to wrestle with his little brother and George clearly didn't want to play. When Fred wouldn't stop I got angry. Then I felt shitty because I didn't play with them today. Though I can't seem to get George to play lately. He still worries me even if the doctor says it will pass.

My anxiety has not lessened. If anything it's worse. Mu job is not helping. I'm chewing on the insides of my cheeks til they bleed, lower lip too. My skin feels like it's crawling and I can't sit still. I have had a pretty constant headache for 4 days now.. My neck hurts.. I just want to fix everything and every one. I'm a fixer and things I can't fix (which is a lot) fucks with me on a level ""normal"" people don't get.",1.282161040398453,3.1113470611510827,2.6720863309352545,94.94921416712783,80.18705035971225,4.8524626452684005,21.483674598782514,5.369823440869387,-0.0910591034864412,1025,30,228,4,26,332,157,278,0.252,0.667,0.08,-0.9925,2,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,1,2,0,16,21,4,0,15,0,20,12,6,1,2,41,39,15,0,8,13,1,5,3,0,2,4,2,0,1,16,10,1,1,7,4,0,1,16,12,0,2,7,7,28,9,30,27,4,32,0,2,0,1,9,14,1,9,19,145,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437854562052836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3045716837473235,0.10982642565235376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20601941267613588,0.2256176128149225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515700955536817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13332031913328532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551734851811456,0.07956414635243464,0.0,0.10625933842264393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262755375625557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148544093144575,0.0,0.10394546367298778,0.0,0.11087798003445223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871403888849626,0.08813633083500202,0.11845559288272765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11405458406755553,0.12891260439363247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986711302636838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180340907217288,0.12661433016522142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269304059592981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13207130269978698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224267696427299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916796237844825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808186475288054,0.12365024221036636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097713766342399,0.0,0.0,0.08235116008909453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11577540990598842,0.1208774733355676,0.0,0.0,0.12945720495226687,0.0,0.08359944296753799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552997944051864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12551275050875688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10535823616012127,0.0,0.09810964195135882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22462481237967324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12346018640895835,0.0,0.10453192359578284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970486225338304,0.10314375483288883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196226978455315,0.0,0.12121146883202565,0.09794286420687752,0.07193867428535877,0.0,0.11694136723813625,0.0,0.0,0.08376087133265962,0.0,0.1205156277097975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14553492978848978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252893297428069,0.12572567986714014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Liquid_Entropy,2019/03/29,War in me Does anyone else feel like there is a war inside of them between wanting to sleep and not sleep?  Like I'm exhausted and what to sleep but my mind cant shut off. ,0.2528378378378377,2.295166648648649,1.7310135135135134,99.12733108108112,85.21621621621622,4.781081081081081,17.35810810810811,5.985473137389443,-0.5819135135135132,134,3,32,1,4,43,31,37,0.21100000000000002,0.7440000000000001,0.045,-0.6657,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,1,5,2,0,1,0,2,4,3,0,0,7,5,3,2,1,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,3,2,6,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,18,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17991848984100514,0.2636464881856129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22517541092689888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21495110664134173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13010464720485887,0.18382369991120726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514192311447665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598117059786358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7724932967736772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517692477471135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,introbravado,2019/03/29,"how the fuck do I get my diploma without losing my mind Hi guys. I'm in my first semester of my history degree. Love my classes and everything has been great so far, except for the fact my bipolar brain is doing its best to make everything as hard as possible to me. 


I really don't wanna ruin this (too much), as studying what I love is really what keeps me motivated every single day. I've been keeping track of my mistakes, figuring out what I can do in the future so I won't let them get the best of me again, but as you all know, it's never that easy. Not being familiar with my reactions to this new environment is definitely the worst part of it. 


What I wanna know is, what were your experiences like? I need to know there are people out there who made it. Maybe there's something I can learn from it. I don't know. I wish there were other students to talk to in real life, who are in the same situation, but I'm not close to any, so... Yeah. ",2.871384615384617,4.146072856410257,4.85025641025641,83.44307692307693,74.28205128205127,8.276923076923078,24.282051282051288,8.841846274778883,1.6343435897435898,737,22,156,15,15,254,114,195,0.08199999999999999,0.78,0.138,0.8578,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,2,1,5,10,11,1,0,6,1,21,6,1,4,3,34,38,11,0,5,6,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,16,5,0,2,7,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,5,1,24,6,28,30,8,14,0,2,0,3,10,8,1,0,7,120,40,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09817041945937284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30299589265617355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16115460117194358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310089198456556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12163035524616415,0.0,0.2594846879127858,0.14121274303905731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12279337923142054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13345940349290406,0.15084531170531887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15915849448331254,0.0,0.142940070547445,0.0,0.0,0.1293190862642186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566293511061348,0.0,0.0,0.3173480857306804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14761888688131694,0.10196643225062213,0.07052748482046825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16150301497042224,0.0,0.0,0.2605828485524834,0.13659785354986598,0.09636207779188788,0.0,0.14503001184872125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457634411349971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061219336172198,0.10704184043403388,0.11134009042216324,0.13942473790364932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15632887778135512,0.0,0.1000817295526753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16274531880749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16431440441726425,0.18496268583103725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16226779448808706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11113613831177437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11603189063084728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660080071517863,0.1391588370285185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AK-TP,2019/03/29,"Trying to cook! Ive recently decided that I need to actively take steps to be less underweight (Im anxious often and it ruins my appetite), so! I'm trying new things when I have free time! So far this week Ive cooked ramen stir fry, a steak/potato/asparagus dinner, and tonight I tried a new recipe for chicken alfredo. Everything has been way better than frozen or canned ""fast"" food I normally eat and although none of my meals turn out exactly as I would like I understand that no skill comes instantly.

What hobbies have y'all picked up to cope?",3.2432075471698134,5.592990679245286,4.240226415094341,83.54203773584909,76.16981132075472,8.390943396226419,26.63773584905661,9.120678840339163,2.4558105660377354,436,17,82,11,10,141,84,106,0.067,0.818,0.11599999999999999,0.7218,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,2,4,4,0,0,2,0,9,6,0,1,1,14,15,9,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,5,6,0,2,2,1,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,11,4,10,12,2,14,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,2,9,48,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341463394816499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833058278766157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17853730739271548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21208011167365004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862731439162999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506212563039937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22387783242940965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012574301450364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536816704570716,0.0,0.4003486213837463,0.0,0.0,0.20307212468948835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20464558642791603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558347469167284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13769523642603118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12085576436494158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.422150570441178,0.2254408404655644,0.0,0.2157663827200613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164514418436281,0.16625255924980642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472325218161556,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fly_thelma,2019/03/29,"Seperation anxiety from husband So, i dont know if this fits in the bipolar board or not but i dont know where else to post it. I have terrible separation anxiety from my husband. Like, terrible. Mostly because I'm so worried something bad is going to happen to him.. And i mean, i know theres nothing i can do really but it doesnt stop the worry. Anyway, i have it so bad that its a struggle for me to even be apart when he goes to work. I do a good job managing it and he doesnt really know (i dont think. Maybe he does) but his mom just invited him to visit (over 20 hours away) for 7 days. I was not invited (which im incredibly offended over but thats a whole 'nother post.) So now i'm stuck trying to piece together how im going to manage him being gone for SEVEN WHOLE DAYS. This trip isnt even until the end of october and I'm already having anxiety attacks over it. I cant tell him not to go, i cant be that person who says ""no you cant visit your mom"" but i will be a total mess for his entire away time and i know it. I literally cant handle it. I dont know what to do. How am i to handle this? Does anyone else have terrible seperation anxiety? How do you manage it? I am at my wits end over this and he hasnt even bought the plane ticket yet. Please help.",0.07897931034482752,2.011352396363637,3.1264576802507835,89.53727272727276,85.03636363636362,6.702194357366771,19.66457680250784,7.873277556716777,0.7866990595611285,979,28,223,20,29,350,132,275,0.187,0.746,0.067,-0.9875,1,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,3,0,1,17,11,2,1,8,0,30,1,0,3,1,30,48,21,0,1,11,4,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,19,5,0,1,8,1,1,7,16,9,0,1,4,1,30,2,27,39,5,31,0,0,0,0,24,11,0,3,12,153,49,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533435728866672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920840207727944,0.0,0.0,0.06674270240108747,0.09780250554356187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085911533188247,0.1793617870612098,0.0,0.1593979278236691,0.058187040881362014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231181071035669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16706248982878447,0.0,0.4474791134923301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594768581486593,0.0,0.16908540711665118,0.0,0.0,0.18913669731728588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16274379805545525,0.08006114226785895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440845068347952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06397988978422413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400161888584084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20621045303914365,0.0,0.09472201254099236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3147496343099952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04663333639870559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589500246132232,0.10397590338713958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235859470282662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158937851167036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334555988243242,0.0,0.10477833032250798,0.0,0.0,0.18283447928077665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222988055156564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590776725081007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348410250470118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980267769309808,0.0,0.09978782002510717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342981101617894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06116219487206461,0.0,0.0,0.0556591995992828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06480607409613033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21313891832996348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06949065576589818,0.19387357026217875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lemon__berry,2019/03/29,"Psychiatrist says I have bipolar, therapist says she does not see it She thinks that it is likely just OCD. That I get more intrusive thoughts than racing thoughts. My psychiatrist saw me during a ""mixed episode"" per his description, but that was when I had a Lexapro reaction and is atypical for me. He did monitor me after and knows me longer. My therapist has seen me since I am off the Lexapro and more stable. I wonder if my psychiatrist was wrong and based it off a temporary state. I am not seeing him any longer unless I need to go on meds then I can go back. It is rather confusing to have differing opinions. I am leaning towards I do not have bipolar disorder.  Anyone else been in this kind of situation?",3.4026809954751123,5.84155648529412,4.454705882352943,81.75771493212672,76.05882352941177,8.596380090497737,28.84389140271493,9.265573868473778,2.8198309954751135,566,25,107,15,13,184,89,136,0.049,0.904,0.047,-0.096,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,4,0,17,2,0,0,0,20,30,9,0,3,8,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,8,4,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,9,6,22,2,12,21,2,12,0,0,4,0,7,5,0,4,5,79,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12595879103690152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12951305027799234,0.18978405671464946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14242595785442647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935198405785119,0.21228295234347486,0.0,0.1620909242986347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15473103129284613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09677198692142533,0.0,0.210534335008129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928824758559058,0.10179436289628452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049117617895076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20574230332497065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13734137926359394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29459539763209003,0.0,0.0,0.2951993738465545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532193521360203,0.208199733998309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4301190881200342,0.0,0.11868417272011755,0.0,0.29409461142010884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20086771733779246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20251355907459587,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ta100909097778,2019/03/29,"Had a really bad day Hey. This is my first post on the sub but I’ve really appreciated the sense of community for a while. If anyone is up/willing to chat I’m sort of at all loss for what to do right now. 
I’ve been in a really deep depressive episode for a couple weeks now and I’m not doing great. I went to therapy this morning promising to be completely honest with my therapist, and I was. I told her I was feeling suicidal, had a plan, but probably wouldn’t act on it. I totally expected to be sectioned but she’s great and understood why I was saying I wouldn’t act on it. It was a good session but it left me feeling pretty shitty. Today was my day off so I didn’t really have anything to do all day so I came home from therapy and surprise surprise got drunk. I decided to drive out to this bridge in my town that’s known for people jumping off it and I kept telling myself I didn’t want to jump, I just wanted to take a look. I walked out over the bridge and stood there for a while and then I chickened out and went back to my car. I guess that was suspicion because about two minutes after I got in my car the police came rolling by, but didn’t see me. I sat there for a while and then drove home. 
I don’t really know what to do. I feel suicidal but I guess I’m not that bad since I decided not to jump. I can’t check myself into a hospital for multiple reasons, partly because again, if I’m not really truly suicidal there are other people who need it more. I’m kinda freaked out right now and I don’t know what to do. ",1.0244019230769226,2.9781141200000043,3.4023221153846173,88.75902163461541,81.64615384615384,7.1394230769230775,22.15625,8.17850203761792,1.2117403846153851,1199,39,264,25,32,414,153,325,0.175,0.732,0.09300000000000001,-0.9871,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,3,12,12,0,0,14,0,28,1,0,1,3,55,58,25,3,8,13,0,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,17,18,1,1,10,2,1,14,12,5,0,2,24,6,36,7,43,30,6,53,0,2,2,0,8,21,0,6,17,184,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122170445880004,0.0,0.08382071704568038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832275941147508,0.1700948822626266,0.1241837708062884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329975614723568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10679650877132116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11270429179045255,0.0,0.19707056626870093,0.0,0.08773042027217574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15450787865320936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664063348678812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543392473036103,0.16293080411121558,0.22459831096999688,0.22441684236723394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043443964904721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195733579294713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066936083463047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553533367447792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552665235572653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030263266661136,0.0,0.14123146546126494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09755211266364533,0.10362652840781728,0.10982049483904817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3915182814934275,0.1047273156613244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17397289451771833,0.0,0.08100182298247018,0.0,0.0,0.0811678920208968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08425825344841542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342494037426332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658477891551832,0.0,0.08902865975578207,0.0,0.23296772796621734,0.11826535824158227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965497757401647,0.09732998815007364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950077635804776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201573503482774,0.0,0.08170459891778313,0.0,0.0,0.18884736302369085,0.09191128919146258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,-babs-,2019/03/29,"How do you deal with a downswing that has a clear cause? I've been swinging down pretty hard the past few weeks - And I know exactly why. My car died, and I was forced to buy a new one - Just after moving and furnishing a new apartment from scratch. My bank accounts are overdrawn, I don't have much food, I'm just barely scraping together money for gas and prescriptions. I'm dealing the the finality of the absolute end of a relationship. 

​

IT'S GOING TO GET BETTER. I can see, on the calendar, looking at my bills and my paychecks, when things will start to get easier financially. I'm not going to hurt myself, and I'm not suicidal. I feel like a med change isn't really the solution, because the meds I'm taking have kept me stable for years, and even if they change, my situation is still going to be shit.

​

I'm taking my meds and seeing my therapist, but my therapist can only fit me in every other week (not that I could afford more copays right now anyway...) I'm working full time, and doing well at work, but that's literally ALL I'm doing. Being on time for work, being on the ball, and doing my job well is so exhausting that I literally cannot muster anything else.

​

I'm sleeping 12-13 hours a night. I'm not showering. I'm not eating. 

​

Does any one have any practical, everyday advice? How do you keep motivated to push forward when it's going to get better but you just have to GET THERE?",4.247953895339052,5.647738607773852,5.635325593134785,78.66267373380448,71.04946996466431,8.64135958270234,27.610466094565034,9.107695989026183,2.322883358573111,1138,40,213,23,21,383,158,283,0.053,0.836,0.11199999999999999,0.9452,3,0,0,0,0,2,56.0,0,3,1,6,16,8,1,0,15,0,25,6,2,4,3,35,54,19,2,2,12,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,8,11,2,2,3,1,5,8,8,3,2,2,3,6,23,5,23,46,5,38,0,1,3,0,7,12,1,1,21,135,31,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07692960721038097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411960068978485,0.3826401975175418,0.10707202319732016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06478434475300072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04799030898445896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13925254151358654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08087273211878991,0.16656219358551352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06285587290719734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16232498241006782,0.0,0.0,0.08170459709295419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889317952207859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055579819022357,0.06576501900164806,0.0,0.06972738954740593,0.0,0.0,0.05199742306345753,0.0,0.06632959444471533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03980595740736054,0.05624148350064217,0.0,0.08623989205125009,0.0,0.0,0.09519513727940572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16452321180926605,0.0,0.17896596987199284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07052254783361155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07752871888722962,0.0,0.08427723188980897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07812287032675128,0.06997480500254151,0.0,0.0,0.04326545331081449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03846128259577706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610955788305199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26233871204544434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367270382414692,0.05787227048932904,0.0,0.0,0.15206707736720912,0.0,0.07387851007999796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066928166348044,0.059874258926518174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515235840106126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009209391838082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05043354479129873,0.0,0.0,0.08452168057646586,0.0,0.06723111167118154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546799609672638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081055214846379,0.0,0.08849071416465065,0.07878231339020184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05572228494014905,0.0,0.06287025309578417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611287427405595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11838349503479854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828126508744688,0.05230169670204223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09181089624555357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12629762881438128,0.0,0.1415672840270822,0.0,0.07103748161003492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17193921487798125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3826401975175418,0.050696614355099145
bipolarreddit,rustygrape,2019/02/05,"Should I get my own apartment? (currently living with parents) Hi guys,

I am currently apartment hunting with the approval of my step-father who has agreed to help pay for an apartment of my own while I wait for disability benefits. I think it would be very helpful and therapeutic for me if I created my own space that I deemed to be sacred and worth my time. One of the fears that I have is that I would feel alone in this apartment, and fall into depression and anxiety. Maybe my meds will help with that. Also I have anxiety about needing to go out and get groceries on a weekly basis. But maybe this would be good for me and I would be able to hit up the natural food stores. I also would choose not to bring my cat with me (who is very therapeutic and supportive) because she is happy here at this home. But I won't have her around. Maybe I could get a small fish aquarium. Also I would have space for some small fitness equipment, like a kettle bell and barbell. Well I hope that if I do get an apartment it will be a good decision. I just don't want to be alone and depressed. But I am sure that is normal for many of us who live alone. We just have to make sure we have a solid routine of having activities to do outside the house and around people. ",4.429264705882354,5.2326451150793645,5.128478057889827,84.69626050420172,70.07142857142857,8.310364145658264,27.9187675070028,8.4952907291091,1.8065893557422967,987,33,204,15,17,319,128,252,0.08199999999999999,0.738,0.18,0.9755,3,3,0,0,0,0,23.0,3,0,0,1,10,13,0,1,11,0,34,1,0,1,2,49,49,19,0,14,8,1,1,1,0,10,0,0,1,1,14,20,1,1,4,0,3,3,3,3,1,1,0,1,33,10,32,31,4,26,0,2,0,0,14,18,0,4,6,153,47,1,0.10290949068431753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3197495894112644,0.0,0.2468900475602214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15745095739568046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18322252957612176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273267034980086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821648544899579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772715870632976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11580178756131218,0.05203413057421295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244385646232639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21506384579985646,0.0,0.05848583510604111,0.17263119655658074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10189657518455172,0.0,0.10954906642765963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20693418710020373,0.0,0.10322660988336374,0.10221234437560553,0.0,0.11874373535700007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050276378989198914,0.0,0.18174193132704486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06869288413707329,0.1043340712706423,0.3101592461042157,0.0,0.11430924486627528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630608338099973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082945111688724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06973413420624584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142688108877957,0.0,0.0,0.07134448332722218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167804704959248,0.19398195417234565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594024632740007,0.0,0.0,0.06000735159422744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12378744638184835,0.0,0.0,0.16982221473659287,0.06069868389857521,0.0,0.08254778602217219,0.0,0.09252799105818987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4386236973876465,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,natural20MC,2019/02/05,"How do you stay focused at work while depressed? I don't have much experience with depression, but I believe I'm in an episode right now.  Not severe, but my motivation to do anything is relatively low.

For the past two weeks, I've just been coming to work to surf the net.  Maybe put in 30min of work per day.  I'm not getting into trouble because my project deadlines are over a month away, but I'd still like to correct my behavior and I'm hoping some of y'all might have some tips/tricks to staying productive while depressed.",5.0650137362637375,6.0098336057692325,5.408131868131868,82.75115384615384,68.71153846153845,8.250549450549451,33.12637362637363,8.418075326091056,2.4852681318681333,421,19,83,6,7,134,76,104,0.10300000000000001,0.74,0.156,0.7107,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,0,4,4,7,0,0,4,0,9,0,0,2,1,17,15,7,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,5,0,1,1,0,7,2,15,13,3,20,0,4,0,0,2,8,0,4,9,51,7,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448405805183173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653664439750844,0.0,0.0,0.10729357901301448,0.0,0.0,0.1983021036713712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15161634702922494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351137772569375,0.0,0.45478941659779293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17217077810001133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919575462175544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17481685677045775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598920803923657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17682490581563093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867179542692049,0.0,0.0,0.14048886991187973,0.0,0.12938701912546927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16802070407027106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17693786724304744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15031090119800447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19884030503711408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3752047920781393,0.14056118018088204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17193542023589256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118396925450602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38441039716832204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,axelwetzel,2019/02/05,"I feel very vanilla It feels like I missed a manic episode and went straight to dissociation after the holiday blues.

​

Work is boring and long and stressful, which makes my free time essentially the same since I feel a responsibility to make the good times count, or whatever. 

​

I don't know, I just feel like I am in a rut that grows more like a valley with each passing day.

​

I didn't really have any intentions with this post, I just felt the need to say my peace.",6.295567375886524,7.143633946808514,6.0859574468085125,79.33333333333334,65.91489361702128,9.245390070921985,30.56028368794326,9.2995712137729,2.4385092198581564,397,14,77,7,6,124,67,94,0.079,0.7,0.221,0.9186,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,2,8,0,1,8,0,5,0,0,3,0,20,16,4,0,1,3,0,5,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,0,6,1,1,3,2,3,0,0,3,7,10,6,7,13,3,11,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,1,8,43,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4241487314491248,0.4756689735442836,0.0887358231919585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415349894246868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26391315251243563,0.18644027401142232,0.12528824938597596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944653730752343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717123950900455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912484776269873,0.0,0.0,0.11547713425251198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17420254175219022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675466275080076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249707416786291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359349118297807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103768720318169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10794042423561498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14947273532476382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152176361538008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076656695403427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209630133921185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499629200094396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4756689735442836,0.0
bipolarreddit,ShahIAm,2019/02/05,"I miss my bestfriend so much[venting] The only person who had kept me under some sort of control for the past year and a half, my former bestfriend, cut complete ties with me a few days ago. Told me to never contact her again. Now I feel like I'm in hell. I have a family. I have a handful of friends. But I can't build a real, trusting relationship with them. I’ve tried so hard. I have some really bad trust and attachment issues because of my dad leaving when I was 5. And then when I was 12, my mom also left(but thankfully my dad took me in and raised me from then on). This has left me in a way that I can only do one of two things. Either not get attached at all, or get extremely attached. But because of the extreme attachment leading to hurt in previous relationships, I had purposefully put space between me and others.


She was the first person in a long time who I really opened up to and let in. I thought she was doing the same to me. We were so insanely close. Then I did one dumbass thing, which I didn't realize was a dumbass thing, and she just turned cold on me. It's like, all the stuff she told me about how much she needed me, how much she loved me and how she would be devastated with me, just disappeared. I've spent the last several weeks trying to fix things, with her warming up a bit, then turning cold, then warming up, then turning cold. I can't put all the blame on her for this. Me going from begging and pleading for forgiveness, to yelling and screaming at her for abandoning me, and then back to the other one, made the situation way worse. But I was at such a low point, I was actually planning my suicide and I was just desperate to have her back. It was so painful and anger inducing that this person, who I gave everything to, didn't even care about it. I put her in front of me. I have suffered, so that I could make sure she didn't. I'm not an innocent angel in all of this. I'm clingy, I'm needy, I'm unstable and high maintenance. I also have extreme mood swings. But I also loved her. Fully and completely. I thought she knew this. 


I was willing to do anything it took to make her want to stay. I tried everything I knew. But it all failed. After one too many fights, things are at a definite end. There is no going back. Now I'm feeling so isolated and alone. The only person I could talk to, hates me. It feels like no one else is even trying to understand me.


To them, ""she's just some girl. Just move on."" They don't know her like I do. She's amazing, in every way. The day after I attempted suicide last March 25th, I was in the emergency room, alone. I was so scared and I had no one to talk to. She called and texted me as much as she could(she works as a waitress). Kept telling me that things will be okay and that she would be there for me. That’s what made her so special. When everyone else was freaked out and pushed away, she would run forward and try to help me. And I lost that.


All I can think about is that it took me 23 years to meet this one person who I got along with on such a deep level. Is it going to take another 23 to meet the next? And even if I do, they will never be able to replace her. It was nice to be in a relationship(whether it be friends, romantic, or familial) where I felt like I could just fully and completely be myself. I just miss her so much. The depression and stress I'm feeling from this is making my bipolar disorder spin out of control as well, which is just fucking annoying as well. When I met her, I was at a point where all I could think about was killing myself. I felt there was no hope. Nothing would get better. Now, without her, I'm basically back in that headspace and it sucks. I just feel so hopeless and empty. It hurts to breathe. Every morning, I wake up and I feel ok for about a minute. Then reality comes crashing in and I just cry till I can’t.


I do go to a psychiatrist, who is also a therapist. This is my 5th Psych and 3th Therapist in the last 2.5 years. They've tried over 2 dozen meds and a stupid amount of hours of therapy. Nothing has worked so far. I'm basically giving up at this point. I even told my psych that a few days ago. All this time and nothing has changed. Why should I believe it will now? I think any day now, I'll just end it all. I can’t go on without her.",1.782348765432097,3.672258888636364,3.195900673400672,91.49988496071829,78.86363636363636,6.663860830527497,23.47783389450057,7.662118739084242,0.9602779180695852,3322,111,737,51,81,1085,332,880,0.16399999999999998,0.7490000000000001,0.087,-0.9971,0,3,0,0,2,4,125.0,1,0,4,11,63,54,10,2,37,2,77,8,3,12,12,132,147,76,3,13,24,3,12,5,2,9,2,2,1,6,51,44,0,5,20,0,1,19,18,27,2,11,46,17,124,26,102,80,22,125,2,11,0,3,71,52,3,8,57,535,175,6,0.04898637334177152,0.0,0.04780363401226129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684692859768829,0.0,0.0,0.10147021852971044,0.0,0.15669754025250182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03331241368672341,0.05136648364942183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0403116113507657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04602431028739719,0.15066998940580495,0.04090157557819777,0.05972327702812993,0.0,0.0,0.05519086781227457,0.0,0.043324466385392106,0.05348043232975341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05002056418682861,0.0,0.04994487239257739,0.0,0.05182108763428697,0.042197423084009186,0.15408384133227834,0.0,0.10988476619733688,0.1955581652796372,0.0,0.0538092308930525,0.12636863305555296,0.0,0.04219189157883179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05614262783002638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184365826583011,0.0,0.08677477370976346,0.0,0.0,0.12942015036299967,0.0,0.0825462646108008,0.04680857899297335,0.08805158739999401,0.0,0.09235998622208133,0.0,0.14861389342458314,0.06999174980660355,0.09406920099455912,0.0,0.0,0.041667784139810427,0.0,0.0,0.07569350105579926,0.04528711279856398,0.07678007469923097,0.04699219299613159,0.13920042430772706,0.0,0.039178877751783296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0438821686099195,0.04836390199480168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0328345334625564,0.05175679297410784,0.0,0.0486545218368684,0.04824171018817025,0.0,0.10488185164527657,0.0,0.0,0.051129046709458614,0.0,0.0,0.05419616416764077,0.0,0.026921629684299123,0.11979129719309645,0.0,0.051869496295000615,0.10644767593605743,0.05009188567029756,0.0,0.1196613380874798,0.0,0.0,0.04335139889619672,0.0,0.0,0.053474413189279375,0.0,0.08842422899331248,0.09270418179388036,0.09809635377316636,0.049664493853233536,0.0,0.0,0.054412817595342236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05737224840661701,0.0,0.05206476240651497,0.1800531042527956,0.03632277512884078,0.07556262207059716,0.0,0.052097563787262935,0.0,0.0,0.14101123917367436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23236104047583736,0.111769033010824,0.05212495503176702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04676303627840135,0.0,0.2138650585476632,0.0,0.0,0.13892386980937285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477345060067556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05575721734489213,0.06276385026103391,0.0,0.0,0.15777909699183473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04904390545703712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05534065845938908,0.0,0.0,0.055062736084736975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052212956137958864,0.0,0.0,0.05611372515532022,0.0,0.05607767758918894,0.10716628325155067,0.0,0.04616907714470416,0.0,0.03683165632362946,0.07874678264254663,0.04281624946251389,0.04510007104628173,0.05602018712108497,0.1137539101483844,0.1952662185727233,0.09416547016303466,0.0,0.07777941720473214,0.057128696467132214,0.0,0.0,0.14042573697892008,0.16327698967540866,0.1995511916943924,0.15984932221389908,0.04785256875647047,0.050996542246027864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02889343219014592,0.11664930909211277,0.039293913882279284,0.0,0.08808926532237353,0.0,0.04420258259798565,0.0,0.0,0.09444223163731702,0.0,0.07132532643540067,0.0,0.04992129945822135,0.1391940565371251,0.0,0.0,0.09463685505228853
bipolarreddit,NixonGottaRawDeal,2019/02/05,"what do u guys do on nights you can’t sleep but are trying not to let anyone know your awake? i live in a one bedroom apartment with my father. in the past when he finds out i couldn’t sleep he jumps to conclusions that i’m not ok, or manic, etc.

i want to keep his sleeping function cause he’s a human and deserves it, also busts his ass at work all day everyday.

So my question is, any ideas of time killers at like 3-6am that are quite? 

BTW: i live with bipolar rapid cycling 

thanks in advance",3.525206043956046,4.087574625000002,4.160054945054945,91.69923076923077,71.98076923076924,6.712087912087912,26.395604395604394,6.1826913282559595,0.7422873626373625,387,12,87,2,7,123,82,104,0.124,0.797,0.079,-0.7809,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,0,4,3,3,0,0,3,1,8,5,4,1,1,18,13,6,0,2,4,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,4,4,0,1,5,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,10,3,13,11,2,16,0,0,0,1,11,8,1,2,7,49,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483263038974653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12613107233445878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296901929463906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19053650281665174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961765474749347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068564610085888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16952309097377247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18365190326169165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20938154108783733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16486093991331455,0.0,0.0,0.10193359307449933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189663328339604,0.0,0.0906149463193376,0.0,0.3275600924782375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740580857744638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568436619275986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.177059277867959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20777726835358468,0.1972781709581439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5568344020500915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707627786123147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10815343214444126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592705945763868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939944549915716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13502984191577627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sabrinaiscute9,2019/02/05,"Losing hope... need some inspiration Hello all, I am still in a bipolar type 1 depressive episode. My psychiatrist upped my Lamictal to 200mg, two weeks ago, and my Latuda to 80mg 2 weeks ago. Still no improvment, It gets worse at night, I'm on the floor crying with dark thoughts and the only thing the relieves it is going to sleep. I'm okay in the mornings. I'm just feeling very down and need some support and hope... I can't live like this forever. Thanks",1.7529670329670315,4.208795560439563,3.0007582417582452,89.75674175824177,82.4065934065934,6.277362637362637,23.385714285714286,7.554174236665415,1.1160804395604398,360,13,74,6,10,116,66,91,0.159,0.69,0.151,-0.2047,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,3,10,0,0,5,1,3,2,1,0,1,16,16,4,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,1,1,5,8,10,15,3,15,0,2,0,0,1,7,0,4,8,39,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33609937801240025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082428167178957,0.0,0.0,0.1632834775597287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095856464453277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904681630404473,0.0,0.10774169399960704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37658797589987536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261836187584888,0.0,0.1674010768285455,0.0,0.0,0.21208958071662445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811397553283796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17790635464114984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14418280946547032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18971517116778114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30279488667343024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21513116286173092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17453819117989894,0.0,0.0,0.12594737213476356,0.0,0.0,0.15050396235528646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18519041323671465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15642191875444064,0.0,0.0,0.30413649000037124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19319644307980266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,porcupineprickles,2019/02/05,Risperdone/risperdal withdrawals I took my last dose of risperdone two days ago and I'm pretty sure I'm experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Especially because my dr tapered me off in the course of 3 days. What are your experiences with risperdone withdrawals and how long did they last?,6.058775510204079,9.379371204081636,5.089142857142857,76.03085714285714,71.65306122448979,7.185306122448982,36.330612244897964,8.238735603445708,3.381723265306123,235,13,36,4,5,70,38,49,0.0,0.861,0.139,0.6808,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,1,1,5,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,6,1,5,3,0,9,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,19,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25161917967467323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17303458183207773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36612430974207655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776633873740503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4627573044295967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512015935195872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.288781261727456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675287544433987,0.2950326815550346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3153719067578708,0.0,0.0,0.2772838208615589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwemawayplz,2019/02/05,Hello? Is there anybody in there?,0.4800000000000004,-0.1838763333333322,1.313333333333336,90.99000000000002,145.66666666666666,1.2000000000000002,19.666666666666668,3.1291,-0.3917333333333333,26,1,4,0,2,8,5,6,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,les_incompetents,2019/02/05,"Anyone get thyroid issues from Lithium or other meds? I’ve been on lithium for maybe five years, and recently found out I have a bunch of tiny nodules on my thyroid, even though my thyroid-function bloodwork has always been normal. 

I don’t know yet if it’s related to the meds, but I’ve definitely felt like something’s been up over the last few months- way more tired than usual, super-prolonged PMS cravings/binges, etc. 

Has anyone experienced the same? If so, did your pdoc switch you to another med or add something to your regimen to mitigate the issue? ",9.166,7.8776421714285725,8.670476190476194,70.30285714285716,60.61904761904761,11.066666666666668,40.04761904761904,9.888512548439397,4.029819047619048,448,20,76,7,5,143,80,105,0.042,0.887,0.07200000000000001,0.4679,0,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,3,0,0,4,1,0,0,5,0,8,4,0,0,0,13,12,8,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,2,7,1,13,6,5,12,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,4,7,51,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14067175255103712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17727451536115468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364218521274012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885469769344313,0.11166276530701734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16232444613628147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18536594531511816,0.0,0.0,0.08832705404167197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35291015979051293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09291114586681118,0.1378067476795851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259434639016422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16984384266779493,0.0,0.5633638035932276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13494235672190208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16564324597973618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669266979068611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603018306282753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661009333936875,0.0,0.0,0.1943100000686143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186196088487746,0.0,0.0,0.13419223500971586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886932115241986
bipolarreddit,whatsausernamefor,2019/02/05,"What do you know about long term care mental institutions? In the last year, I’ve been hospitalized multiple times for suicidal thoughts and attempts(this led to the psych ward for a few days). I’ve seen 3 different psychiatrists and therapists. I’ve tried what feels like 2 dozen medications. I’ve been through insane weight fluctuations. I’ve been having a real bad time and I’m exhausted. 


A few days ago, because of my stupid(really stupid, I don’t blame her) actions during mood swings, I lost my bestfriend. 


Since then, I’ve been just comatose almost. I can’t function. I keep thinking of suicide. I think I need some long term care. I think on my own, I am in danger. 


But I’m also scared of going to one, because I don’t have money for something like that. I’m also scared of what it would be like. I’ve seen “Girl, Interrupted”. I’m worried about the shame and worry it’ll bring to my dad. I’m embarrassed about people seeing me as the crazy person. I’m just embarrassed about being 24 and wasting my best years because I can’t control my emotions. 


I’m sorry if this is rambling, I’m just having a lot of racing thoughts right now. ",3.0563899613899608,5.370062103603605,4.0535778635778685,84.82932432432436,76.61261261261262,6.93127413127413,25.43629343629344,7.957251820313856,1.579705019305019,905,33,173,15,21,292,128,222,0.242,0.6809999999999999,0.077,-0.9879,1,0,1,0,0,1,32.0,0,1,0,3,10,17,2,5,8,0,18,3,0,2,0,26,43,11,2,3,5,1,2,3,0,2,2,0,0,2,7,5,1,2,7,0,1,4,4,10,0,2,9,5,19,6,20,30,8,22,0,1,3,0,5,4,0,4,17,93,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104676864722306,0.0,0.1247884492745305,0.0,0.0,0.19931637223200396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405209487887092,0.22790071042350854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13078049913337245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25411581473040906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13977138968947814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607385633747877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13020087578821252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401801880718672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06301137433923154,0.08902821087773617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082414578164725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107675564038705,0.0,0.0,0.06848762979433251,0.10158154256078104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826484099157492,0.0,0.0,0.2205687095087499,0.0,0.0,0.13603692855609095,0.10594706052642598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12554105701597346,0.12558716659096314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09240379595510356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444541277431407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08639548497036953,0.10881295915230492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418442978623314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10642439023391402,0.0,0.0,0.2495317616354211,0.0,0.09930562388862654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308655575663754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593819581351497,0.0,0.1395013512835361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726270593509895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14469286921445032,0.0,0.2395534718946224,0.0,0.19786795946618832,0.14533329000345038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460847468528243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15175300418217536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25311434600005106,0.0,0.08852613238385941,0.0,0.0,0.16050177174083605
bipolarreddit,anon-Q,2018/11/04,What is the best antidepressants??? **What is the best antidepressants?????**,5.77933333333333,-0.6260063999999979,3.940000000000001,69.78333333333336,213.0,8.666666666666668,21.66666666666667,6.42735559955562,3.251666666666667,56,2,8,2,6,16,5,10,0.0,0.461,0.539,0.885,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thic_,2018/11/04,"How accurate is Silver Linings Playbook I plan on watching it and I want to know if I'd be able to relate to the main character, or if itll be a waste of money renting it",1.512280701754385,2.597569526315791,4.565789473684212,84.88885964912285,77.42105263157895,7.171929824561403,28.456140350877188,7.793537801064563,1.8136561403508773,134,6,29,2,3,49,30,38,0.08,0.883,0.037000000000000005,-0.3612,1,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,7,6,5,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,5,3,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,21,5,0,0.7785163979460397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4278522523484239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45918914217292206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,headsfcked94,2018/11/04,"Speaking to someone in denial Hi! 

Really need some advice. My (now-ex) boyfriend and I recently split up. No reason behind it other than “I’m not good at being a boyfriend, especially when I’m like this, I can’t do this to you”. He’s been in a depressive state for well over 5 months now.

We speak now more than ever and are as close as we have ever been still and I’m ok with just being a good friend to him. I’m pretty sure he was diagnosed with bipolar 3 years ago. His friends have told me he told them he has been diagnosed - he told me he hadn’t. It’s extremely obvious to me now that he has gone through a cycle this year. His mother has bipolar and we have discussed back when he thought he did have it. 

I think he’s in denial about it and he hasn’t got anyone close to him to say something to him about it. Would this be out of line? Should I just ignore it and not mention it, is it not my place? Or would you have appreciated someone broaching the subject with you? I understand that this wouldn’t be an easy thing to discuss with someone but I’m worried it will only get worse if he goes on unmediated. 

I care about this guy a lot and it breaks my heart seeing him like this and I want him to get the help I think he needs. 

Any thoughts welcome. ",1.6176457541191418,3.4312838745247163,3.0411644486692033,92.77693044993664,79.07604562737644,6.056337135614703,22.36517743979721,6.996647511020387,0.4982219264892276,981,30,221,11,24,320,138,263,0.059000000000000004,0.81,0.132,0.9539,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,3,3,1,0,15,13,0,0,8,1,28,5,1,1,4,46,50,15,0,8,8,1,0,2,2,5,4,3,0,1,21,18,0,1,6,0,0,1,8,2,1,0,13,4,28,11,32,28,3,28,0,1,1,0,43,11,0,4,16,147,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123562679516315,0.1120877581873811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598838969314683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841477872226865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723004377533437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12892128414516746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890873441624928,0.2566823661484299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287573505699014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19538548984274712,0.0,0.13212682107026238,0.0,0.0,0.21211571971798016,0.10113132718459188,0.0,0.0,0.12520254631372155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14984046699379308,0.08475485100907666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12355136877722506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750083468014963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009288989361202,0.0,0.0,0.1875179007974496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961687461471388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13211034599518867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12864219760752996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100527427466246,0.13000871729669894,0.1248512937824462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10055583911556586,0.0,0.0,0.10076199758083547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214147483103493,0.0973451842497136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098084750568842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191749308418926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840058596696161,0.1620444402531042,0.0,0.2007698061029992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36247697653632266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163592974357616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458179794786146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136911624831034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12841320622453134,0.12886043599754654,0.1796488373530026,0.0,0.0,0.162855621893154
bipolarreddit,SpaceJames2022,2018/11/04,"Experiences with Psychoactive compounds Hello bipolar community! I am an avid recreational marijuana user and find it has great utility with being bipolar. I use it to bring me down out of mania if I use Indica strains and it does wonders for me depression when I use Sativa strains so long as it is very moderate use. If I turn into a daily smoker everything goes tits up. Has anyone else experienced these results?

Next topic. I have dabbled in low doses of psilocybin “magic” mushrooms and experienced stability and clarity for weeks after. I’m never really concerned with “over doing it” because of the rate of tolerance increase. I’ve never gone so far as to melt my mind with it but I am curious if anyone else has and what that was like for them in terms of their mental status around that time of use.

Last one. Does anyone have experiences with even more powerful compounds like lysergic acid diethylamide”acid/lsd”, or the one I’m most interested in, DMT? Please share your mental status up to and around psychedelic experiences. Peace and love.

",5.633869047619048,8.107116735449736,6.623224206349209,68.61674107142859,69.47619047619048,10.016005291005293,30.86011904761905,10.270032843473604,3.863542063492064,849,36,131,25,16,282,121,189,0.040999999999999995,0.7509999999999999,0.20800000000000002,0.9893,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,2,1,6,10,0,2,4,0,11,5,1,6,2,33,23,17,0,3,5,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,10,16,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,4,0,2,2,3,13,6,31,20,4,26,0,2,0,2,6,13,1,6,12,91,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253306712817299,0.247458076996012,0.0,0.2149973113505288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07361188326702342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10400717282318643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21134919929420046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20175268733404564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975835783788755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085279223729064,0.3543683229530442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11036901594901803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133134181235998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843245296391646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799079875302287,0.0,0.0,0.10686547268683673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898722150772913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433877760999709,0.0,0.1219293789668519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862693138084548,0.0,0.12842563150705896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16365510724455906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13255408942929453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735953967542754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041393481397566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131348113417377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5214731002596906,0.0,0.099636544862761,0.0,0.0,0.09686337206327224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13095499148731118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bipolarbabeaz,2018/11/04,"Lots of life changes, feels like I’m drowning, hurt myself badly 1st time in 5 yrs I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar type 1 and generalized anxiety disorder for 15 years. My last huge episode was in 2014 where I was manic for months, attempted suicide and landed in the hospital for 15 days. 

I’ve been relatively stable, although I get intense depression and anxiety when I start a new job or classes at school. I recently moved cross country with my daughter and husband. We’ve been having marital problems that are so complicated I’m not going into detail. Basically fallen out of love and he’s a liar. Started a new job. Facing bankruptcy because we racked up $40k in debt when I was manic. Full time student. Trying my best to hold it together but I’m really struggling. 

Tuesday night had a really stressful day at work. Probably because I’m just out of training. Anxiety was through the roof. Lots of suicidal thoughts. I got home and cut my leg pretty bad. I needed 11 stitches. Got put into a 24 hour observation unit and the “doctor” I saw was on a tv and didn’t admit me. They set me up with an outpatient doctor, who was also a tv Skype doctor and my insurance doesn’t cover it. So I have an appt with a “real” doctor 11/16. 

Really struggling to hang in there. Still having terrible thoughts. But I’ve read terrible things about the inpatient units in my state so I feel I’m better off at home. Having a lot of thoughts of self harm. I know I should go in but based on the extremely sub par experience of the 24 hour observation unit and the fact I can’t lose my job, I have to stick it out till I see the doctor. 

I’m just ranting I guess. No one I know really understands. ",2.524758765906803,4.893158057401814,4.3997638011535285,81.38354756019409,78.69788519637463,7.879190698526045,26.6466172296988,8.754623652393294,2.3581089627391743,1331,55,250,32,33,451,190,331,0.2,0.736,0.064,-0.9934,4,0,0,0,0,3,34.0,1,0,1,5,12,18,2,3,19,0,20,11,2,0,1,47,47,22,3,3,7,2,2,1,0,1,8,0,2,1,6,20,0,1,9,3,1,7,5,14,0,1,17,4,29,4,40,29,5,53,0,3,2,1,9,24,0,5,21,148,35,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706245393559835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20267951872512271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14747672130599598,0.10767058428982901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267991790748606,0.07810640744919434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342432401172647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139102309355012,0.0,0.07606457389212322,0.08963668025045571,0.0,0.0,0.101215302354862,0.4519647449474309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638787356237845,0.0,0.0,0.08930825374878287,0.0630914190592306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04614033207850235,0.0,0.1003815715708016,0.0,0.1412652777699187,0.0,0.09728764227915908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17717194786106044,0.0,0.17394266964468108,0.0,0.09454178345511068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629135529384845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09706994466420878,0.07198755997901363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06237867112628233,0.04314567729668718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09880058794232803,0.0,0.2252437849036234,0.07970668117058702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049125795214199,0.09386362684988322,0.0,0.06548358723363935,0.0,0.17058809807492875,0.0,0.08287654856891395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05984373798425174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984691630116981,0.09521724754809667,0.08450440995610818,0.0,0.08877979336836303,0.0,0.0,0.08833773074262923,0.10052047490749527,0.226304408135605,0.0,0.08719925460840854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08937831259716962,0.0703746898867816,0.0,0.09213058706247797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12501796934487538,0.0,0.07052754012757716,0.0,0.10116319590612033,0.1846495838999278,0.0,0.19320199607313945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058671785641992324,0.0,0.0,0.2103339530132808,0.10299301100700199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05995929469662501,0.0,0.0,0.09193781342247118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642935213379637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05687121217428848
bipolarreddit,folieadoubleformes,2018/11/04,"Nausea is the worst and it’s making it hard to uphold my med routine. I’m having persistent nausea which is unrelated to my mental health.   It’s making it really hard for me to take my lithium, in particular.   I generally take it all at night, but if I do, I am up all night with horrible heart burn and am almost to the point of throwing up.   Anyone else have similar experiences? Any tips to manage it?",2.8887857142857136,4.835720450000005,5.5346428571428605,75.73750000000003,75.75,8.571428571428571,23.92857142857143,9.23628265651192,2.1804821428571426,316,10,59,8,7,113,54,80,0.126,0.8740000000000001,0.0,-0.8426,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,7,2,1,2,2,11,12,4,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,7,0,12,12,3,8,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,2,2,42,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21584656387906784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14658436265516095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15072062675612302,0.22086092416906186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18006801604179284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21085353461012374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3861887510225652,0.0,0.0,0.22912421456545515,0.0,0.25543296522492465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2877684303487473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23943231080441385,0.0,0.2172281051135728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4045663466742236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037685521189711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13808964842382965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3241401189662153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,w_e_i_r_o,2018/11/04,"I hate bipolar and I also hate Wordpress. I was hypomanic so I thought it would be a good idea to make a blog late last year. I made one and also thought that buying my own domain was worth it as well. Well less than a year later, I haven't used the blog because who actually reads blogs, and suddenly $96 have been taken out of my secondary bank account (used for savings, mostly) and I have a negative balance. I reported the card as stolen, I went to dispute the purchase, but because it's ""pending"" they can't. I never authorized the renewing purchase and I'm pissed off that my stupid hypomania last year is fucking me over this way and now Wordpress isn't loading any of their shit and I can't delete the site, my account, or change my payment info.

Well I'm hypomanic now too, but a different flavor because 50mg Lamictal so now I have this intense rage and I feel like Wordpress did this to me on purpose. I'm on a tight budget and I got myself in debt so that $96 is a lot and I can't believe they did this to me.

I hate having bipolar and I can't calm down from this.",3.0183750989184905,4.276550426008973,4.606599841730414,85.39951200211026,73.88789237668159,7.220152993933,29.26114481667107,7.724431198458867,1.7857593774729623,847,36,176,11,17,285,120,223,0.188,0.7490000000000001,0.063,-0.9861,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,3,0,12,15,8,0,12,0,19,5,2,4,1,30,36,21,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,12,12,0,1,5,4,9,1,8,8,3,1,11,3,29,7,18,23,4,22,0,0,0,1,4,8,3,3,13,123,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.13577685075457258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225343216690959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09461738034929927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544483899344079,0.0,0.0,0.15675884013421415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14718764016676011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14536770486935313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035143821349786,0.09939892190105336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286291655981417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11670083485829623,0.11127992143591196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4121045463639429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15706782273837827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22682913013840306,0.15695168260953385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797491436918332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11828861313830973,0.0,0.13165402710308555,0.09287448720189126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10731040716352357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428228318306398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13917384217906928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14282129954296882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22091718631424173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403379904914959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043983132580394,0.0,0.0,0.3753004330493392,0.1289806420295502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883835732821712,0.0,0.0,0.2687974337060001
bipolarreddit,Leiissha,2018/11/04,I'm watching my life go downhill and cant seem to stop it. I could go into lots of detail about my life in being in shambles but Im almost too exhausted for that too. I have no will left. Im floating through life constantly waiting for the next time I get to sleep. Idk dudes. Shits rough.,0.4545199063231884,2.6846913606557368,2.123325526932085,95.36049180327869,86.21311475409836,4.797189695550352,21.82903981264637,6.1826913282559595,0.23711053864168585,227,8,50,2,7,74,47,61,0.184,0.7929999999999999,0.023,-0.8732,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,0,5,6,2,0,0,9,11,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,10,8,1,10,0,0,1,0,0,4,1,3,4,29,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22123103963455007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387485244444873,0.0,0.17639586994036482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542761929074767,0.0,0.2511209890593731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4772879846142501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400427818115001,0.0,0.4681514747473171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18782810815223192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349632160049928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011277907895346,0.0,0.0,0.22678306715484745,0.0,0.0,0.22109110992535166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18470867330730886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12882696687030315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,moodslayer,2018/11/04,"Can I ride caffeine throughout an entire depression? Or am I just exacerbating it. And with each day that passes, I need more and more caffeine.

Last month was borderline hypo. So now, I'm in a physical low, sleepy tired, yawning.

I mean I have to pay it back right. The depression. 

Caffeine makes me somewhat manic in itself. 

I feel zero dopamine. Serotonin happy feelings I still have. Just no dopamine",2.470236612702365,5.434982150684931,3.1625653798256543,84.20867995018679,90.5068493150685,5.394271481942716,27.18430884184309,6.980632752743323,1.8509013698630128,319,15,53,5,11,100,56,73,0.209,0.743,0.048,-0.8834,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,3,0,5,2,0,1,0,13,11,4,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,3,0,1,2,1,3,0,1,1,2,8,1,4,10,4,12,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,2,6,39,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192324145460816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18387271849498968,0.0,0.4911305988178376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883209219394391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035054826656477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324031518934804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19031350640934214,0.0,0.0,0.310568972566861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22757252133271486,0.0,0.0,0.21140586060738972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434828523489315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276896539585621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3276926363966296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Salemsmeowmix,2018/11/04,"Lowering Lithium dosage and sleeping/anger issue So 2 months ago I got a new pdoc, and since I’ve been doing so well on 900mg of Lithium he thought going down to 600mg would be a good idea. I had 1 panic attack since then but nothing major. Well that’s I’ve been sleeping super poorly for a week, and today I got really irritated with my SO.

Could this all be from lowering my dose? If I go back to 900mg should this go away? How long should it take to feel effects? He keeps wanting to lower my dosage but at this point I’m starting to think 600 is too low. 

I’d appreciate any advice.",2.9314695340501804,3.864082612903229,4.533333333333335,87.10055555555556,73.67741935483872,7.124014336917562,24.261648745519715,7.3871296695380915,0.9315476702508968,460,13,100,5,9,155,85,124,0.163,0.737,0.1,-0.7294,3,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,8,7,1,1,3,0,11,2,1,2,1,20,24,11,0,6,3,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,5,0,1,3,0,3,2,0,6,1,7,4,13,12,2,18,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,1,9,55,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17110629142890024,0.15521612749980696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907442056073834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19920222440292268,0.16451278885755488,0.1346415622499544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980359055083705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853613057095046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29854113884622296,0.1468660856853764,0.28008791019384494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19766727753679209,0.0,0.18275954627623195,0.0,0.1556374692607252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15495853145337762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13976363787644766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691132621123255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168013759625879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20544284055248732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16552667578292207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217393570271576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28969007123835205,0.0,0.17522706748680494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393711435415695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165386862304568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121974018648554,0.0,0.13901032693551965,0.0,0.0,0.16597490612203772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032788776102346,0.0,0.14045514897531197,0.0,0.3148729577065503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124386450825256,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,flyingsunflower,2018/11/04,"Seroquel and Weight Gain Hi Again Guys!

I just wanted to see if you guys were experiencing the same concerns as me. 

I'm on Seroquel and have been for a little over a year. Before I got on it, I had tried a good 7 or 8 meds before I found seroquel and I feel the most stable that I've had in years. But I've gained a good 55LBs since I've started. 

So I've been googling to see if this is common. And apparently it is. The weight has become such a problem with my confidence. I was about 110/120 before I started and I'm 174 at the moment. I'm sure theres some body dysphoria as well. But it comes to the choice of losing weight and trying new meds again OR staying stable and just being overweight. 

(Disclaimer: I've tried every trick in the book. Exercising, dieting, maintaining calories, changing what I eat. None of this works)

Tell me about your experience with seroquel? Did you struggle with this?",1.5666533652567196,4.11607327374302,2.764453312051078,90.42467411545624,84.41899441340783,5.197233306730514,21.931630752859807,6.655083550727371,0.5416334663474327,712,24,143,8,21,228,106,179,0.064,0.795,0.142,0.9305,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,3,0,4,10,8,1,1,11,0,12,8,1,0,1,27,24,16,0,4,8,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,8,11,6,0,2,2,0,1,1,4,1,0,9,7,14,4,19,14,4,18,0,1,2,0,7,7,0,6,9,89,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14098318478823302,0.3258710017583117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14179418390135154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13504040324890526,0.10996212718543938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306213281354304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755352086008717,0.0,0.0,0.12486954982103746,0.0,0.0,0.06454541002714352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13996539769550634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141392820877252,0.10209610974934097,0.0,0.0,0.2527939317163476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12794227314013584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14281153626850138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28358836780270313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232884786547168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122147093034907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034465135575353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10559623685997688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18070751030076687,0.1360615721045235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13345108211036666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203118475484396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157472482684902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600048997947003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07529330070680773,0.0,0.0,0.466342465015442,0.11477576459783236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09293321776329827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16440924794502115
bipolarreddit,bipolar-cow,2018/12/16,"Bout of apathy and decision-making Hello everyone!

I always really appreciate the authentic responses from everyone, and now it seems I'm stuck once more. I've been struggling with a rapid spiraling into apathy, like I've fallen into dissociation, caused by sudden stress (I think). I feel dormant inside my head, like I'm physically here but everything is else is so strange, and that the only thing I can feel is this intense agony and fear that is just burning holes inside me. I (23 F) have Bipolar depression, but I feel much more unstable than what my docs describe as bipolar depression! My boyfriend (26) has been so supportive and all that does is make me feel shame! What I feel are my triggers:

1) My relationship being with someone SO SUPPORTIVE is creating a dissonance and this rift in my head, and I feel so ashamed to be with him.
2) I feel scared that I'm going to lose myself in this relationship, despite never knowing myself to begin with.
3) I have a crush on my friend (also a girl) and that is just throwing my emotions completely out of whack!
4) My job is incredibly stressful!
5) I'm feeling guilty that my ""outline"" for my life is changing. (I've just been working and I've been a bit sheltered for most of my life up until now, and I feel like I finally have amazing people in my life and I can finally experience things but that might mean putting some things on hold, and that is creating shaky ground within myself).

I can't really eat much, I feel nauseous constantly, and I often have thoughts of deeply hurting myself. I must have cried 7 separate times yesterday, and the love from my friends and family cannot reach me where I am, and that scares me. I'm not sure where to go from here, and is it even wise for me to make any decisions while in this awful place? 

Apologies for the long post, and I really appreciate people just reading it! ",5.533550420168068,6.585988044817933,6.308168767507002,76.33015231092438,67.71148459383753,9.983613445378152,31.681722689075627,10.125756701596842,3.251763865546218,1480,60,272,36,24,487,184,357,0.20199999999999999,0.662,0.136,-0.9771,1,0,0,0,0,1,51.0,0,0,0,2,17,24,0,9,9,1,31,9,2,4,4,63,60,29,0,1,8,0,10,3,2,2,5,0,0,1,21,25,1,1,16,1,0,5,4,13,0,0,6,10,43,11,35,50,8,34,0,4,0,1,9,15,0,6,16,187,64,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07278864859403393,0.07573591843183049,0.0,0.0,0.061896710561116376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937024893267987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09350259652829136,0.09628707461507274,0.0,0.09543272185537724,0.09836026763234126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999811788309702,0.0,0.0,0.15679075828250644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965220167091895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09313616714631702,0.07603551748881515,0.10238523143027953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06011784122826404,0.0,0.0,0.17394699122987511,0.08180289292451356,0.08903501005256552,0.08580554066689072,0.10242278744717699,0.4602243892806516,0.06502469500089131,0.0,0.19941588765091156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14064362823627016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345750931634087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868255264029221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743877575867373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032328984588717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050022203016371225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928703201653844,0.13340330025815927,0.0,0.0,0.08054982191118787,0.0,0.10182808046887136,0.0,0.0,0.0821490895265007,0.0,0.12151309266067932,0.0,0.0,0.09914744637166867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655781961847353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13382032277063727,0.0,0.07020022312893551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693331275376374,0.0,0.06922479961000289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12620359331644734,0.0,0.09509651102170656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717198475250232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915002241525166,0.0,0.0,0.09104461564286097,0.0,0.1749291980090041,0.0,0.0,0.1954427998110931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18225376578286412,0.0,0.0,0.08286117527381835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771209373623353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20852616907967547,0.09515385019207016,0.0,0.0,0.2065767991923716,0.08578525806548032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18140889950247774,0.05832193074074912,0.0,0.07225970053698548,0.05307448483340088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662636326440772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,VeraMoans,2018/12/16,"Pretty sure I've got the rash (acute sjs?). I'm frustrated and would just like general advice and have questions. This is not my first time to the rodeo. I'm allergic to sulfonamides and got a crazy rash as a kid, and then about 6 months ago developed a rash within a week of taking lamictal that covered like a sizable portion of my back for which I was taken off lamictal immediately and given general directions to take benadryl, was prescribed a topical cream of which I cannot recall what it was, and to report to the ER if conditions worsened.

Now I've been on a cocktail of quetiapine and topiramate for about 5 weeks. About 3 days ago the skin all over my body started to feel like I had a sunburn, I started sweating like a pig, my body feels just wiped out, my eyes are bloodshot, and I checked the main places for the rash to present and let's just say I've got some very large patches of a psoriasis like rash in an extremely private area that just showed up, and a few small spots that are not scaly on my belly (the only thing that makes me skeptical is that I have psoriasis which has twice presented down below and it's taken about 4-5 weeks for me to get to this point) 

As it's the weekend I've attempted to get ahold of my psych but have been unsuccessful and I'd love to go to the ER or Urgent care if I had that kind of spending cash rn. I've just stopped my meds cold Turkey and am consuming benadryl. I've taken a sharpie to outline the spots to monitor shit and if things get too real I will take myself to urgent care. Others who have experienced medication allergy reactions/ developed steven johnson syndrome does this sound familiar? Were you allergic to a whole class of medications? How did you find the right medication for you considering all the restrictions?

Tl;dr 95% I'm having a bad allergic reaction to medication, has happened before twice. What are your experiences with medication allergies? Were you allergic to a whole class of medications? How did you find the right medication for you considering all the restrictions?",8.217748091603053,7.439725145038171,8.467393129770992,69.35437213740461,62.180661577608134,12.440152671755724,37.716157760814255,11.698219412168324,4.4398438676844805,1654,71,304,45,20,546,199,393,0.10800000000000001,0.813,0.079,-0.8645,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,7,0,2,14,14,3,0,30,0,28,24,11,3,4,48,54,24,0,4,12,0,3,5,0,2,12,2,0,1,21,16,1,3,5,3,3,1,3,4,2,3,18,9,26,10,50,33,9,35,0,0,2,1,12,16,1,6,23,198,47,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680932902137542,0.15749517763528215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830925724414444,0.07417419378286047,0.0,0.0,0.07559273440997005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973531248874297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18114806537095796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572917506467289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07774081924148676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689847207560053,0.0,0.0,0.08983611327005772,0.06346432307272566,0.0,0.0,0.16238864868959696,0.07556369776953423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923913831913565,0.0,0.05048744015994064,0.0,0.21315034661683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855721668895801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092508829567398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084063834054526,0.0,0.2170034565697334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017779026520065,0.0,0.05929859548036093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09867656244371484,0.6264491542581324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090789896923486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06756363943012261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281451759962696,0.0,0.08397855823919295,0.0,0.0,0.09037795960608276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09951644239891344,0.0,0.0,0.10111460464954856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15173059905468686,0.0,0.07064580467964897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911886861799599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12575689237470833,0.0,0.0,0.07427071807542096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372670310364641,0.0,0.20038042849494947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803713451876563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051800877379574964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329884995911351,0.0,0.0,0.21377619382062246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19836402702003547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310641324359273,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bone-orchard,2018/12/16,"Abilify ""walking"" question I just thought this would be a good place to ask... I started on Abilify recently (12 ish days) and I.... want to walk.  I want to walk for hours a day.  This isn't really a bad thing (yay exercise?) and I don't feel like I'm manic, but I was wondering if anyone else has felt the same way.

Thanks!",0.5542857142857152,2.6206048181818207,2.9265367965367983,90.87409090909094,84.15151515151516,7.40779220779221,23.064935064935064,8.418075326091056,1.5041844155844162,242,9,55,6,7,83,50,66,0.025,0.804,0.171,0.7827,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,4,1,6,1,0,0,0,14,16,4,0,4,3,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,5,1,0,3,2,1,0,0,3,2,6,4,5,11,1,11,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,3,6,30,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607273958312478,0.23552450614483586,0.0,0.0,0.21489333807159253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919282027721588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964886350497329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920232413691244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162269711648852,0.16421605475291964,0.22070705624262688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19280038777360534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.226371346437966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230073773824842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24016066296870955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575021171354609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472578110912948,0.0,0.22696458223177615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627000787520981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21162939222868274,0.0,0.0,0.1527125131611277,0.0,0.0,0.1824876370377213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711614129177903,0.18245664078685786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492794745006219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16328995112096012,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sekenraw12,2018/12/16,"I feel so confused and sad Im bipolar 1 with bpd, anxiety, depression and ADHD. I used to see thing before being diagnosed with bipolar and put on meds. Now I am on meds and doing great but sometimes I still see things and told my husband I'm still hearing and seeing things that I know logically isnt there. He doesn't believe me and saying it's my mind playing tricks on me. Anyone else having this problem?",1.850677506775071,4.3278046097561,3.5047967479674824,86.1628319783198,82.17073170731706,5.595663956639567,24.96476964769648,6.937597516519254,1.215938753387534,326,13,61,4,9,108,60,82,0.16699999999999998,0.774,0.057999999999999996,-0.7824,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,5,7,1,1,0,0,6,3,0,1,0,17,15,9,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,6,9,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,5,0,0,1,6,9,2,6,13,0,7,0,2,3,0,5,3,0,1,3,40,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19699857078526345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539745079845518,0.0,0.0,0.11461585222433847,0.1679542050183495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394828450355012,0.18468038079829652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20645001910240265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118304190980913,0.16637415470708025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13693314286949446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288228203176702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18072108085299046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184748426585184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17706045726628594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008549817912677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3641537186186857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16551128305332066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15684817572655024,0.0,0.164783691625567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13035482713322932,0.0,0.0,0.3918662374589672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16211990717109284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618115673072504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3267011466979843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15663145979971127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14157323301915406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kaitlinfantastic,2018/12/16,"No Meds? I am newly diagnosed with Bipolar 2, already I hate the meds. I keep reading that really most people with the disorder need meds the rest of their lives. I feel fine as far as my mood but weight gain and feeling foggy really are big downers for me. Anyone have any luck with herbal stuff with less side effects? Right now I believe my weed use helps with manias, but I have to quit smoking it to go to school. I'm also worried about disruptions in my life from not being on the right thing. Any opinions?",3.7225,5.375053069306934,4.288205445544556,86.80478341584158,72.76237623762377,7.030198019801983,25.496287128712872,7.645422480735847,1.30550396039604,404,13,79,5,8,128,76,101,0.105,0.754,0.141,0.7176,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,3,3,4,1,0,4,0,5,4,0,2,0,18,13,6,0,1,3,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,6,1,1,3,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,3,11,2,16,12,3,9,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,3,1,50,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801830058917576,0.13057456979695972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220713396793892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416883388779052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839601007060113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16572527153395544,0.0,0.0,0.1871324709848972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16511805838174368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279551160916462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16120471799359273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944281765874696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14513033588691304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11532915076111255,0.0,0.0,0.14417880387407506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.544100199977873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106969206121584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319745744995367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736678635301106,0.16332370155956602,0.0,0.20920207766961307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27887962870449584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16524758707066667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869159813133454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084756550525171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14102107701371713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988304624912504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16581827407497154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bipolartype1throw,2018/12/16,"Shame after episode because of behavior The topic of accountability got mentioned in another thread, and I brought up some issues I'm dealing with the shame of something I did while manic. While I'm fine accepting the consequences of my actions, it especially pains me to know how many people think that's the ""real me"" when it's absolutely not. However even if I could convince this sub, I certainly can't convince the dozens or hundreds of former coworkers I acted like a jackass in front of. In my case it especially sucks since it was my first manic episode and I was undiagnosed so it's not like I was irresponsibly not taking my meds.

There's a lot that happened but I'll share the thing that probably did the most reputational damage and is bugging me the most. My former technology employer was working on a deal with the Pentagon. They were pushing through the contract with a phony ethics review (the ethics committee was in the dark but coincidentally my Naval officer friend was working on the project and posting about it on social media). For a bunch of reasons the project really upset me which triggered the whole episode, which eventually snowballed well past the point of reasonable concern. I wasn't sleeping for days, was talking a million miles a minute, was obsessing over every detail of this Pentagon deal. I eventually resigned in an angry huff, giving 1 week notice. I secretly contacted journalists and fed them tons of information on the project which led to news articles. Then I posted on the internal groups that we should all protest the deal, which got me fired before I even finished my notice. I was extremely irritable and could talk about nothing else other than the contract. I believe I had been hypomanic before (and self-diagnosed as possibly BPII) but I was never full-blown manic so while I saw some warning signs I disregarded them.

Now my paranoia started escalating especially because it is the Pentagon plus my old employer is also known for tracking people and I use their email service for my personal email which I assumed they were reading as well. They also made my phone's operating system so I bought a new phone with a new number. I went to a tarot card reader who milked me for all the cash I had on me (a lot because I was scared of being tracked by CC purchases so withdrew a bunch before driving to a new city) and who told me to destroy my old phone which I did. I was convinced I was a prophet meant to stop a global holocaust going to be caused by the Pentagon deal and any cost was worth preventing it. So within a week or so of me leaving my job I went from manic to severely manic.

That's not even close to the full story but should set the context that I was mentally unwell before I took the action I regret the most. So I created a new Twitter alt account to lead the protest. However one of my old friends and colleagues was in a role very relevant to the Pentagon deal. I had messaged her asking her to maybe just speak to people she could or do anything with respect to the deal but she totally ignored me and didn't respond. So I was really upset since I was in a full blown irritable mania and she was ignoring this issue I was obssessed with. At one point on her Twitter she tweeted about it being difficult to attach mics to dresses. I responded that ""the machine needs a pretty face"".

Now that would be a dick thing to say in any context and I admit that, I was an irritable asshole in my manic state and I was angry she was ignoring me on the Pentagon issue. In my head I was trying to say, you're supposed to be talking about important issues like this contract but instead your talking about dresses. But in tech in 2018 women rights are a hot button issue and looking back on it as a stable person I see how the most obvious interpretation is even worse then what I was thinking because it could be perceived as an attack on her whole career, like I'm de-valuing her technical skills as a whole which is not what I had in mind. But manic me didn't even thinking for a second thought about it and just kept tweeting because the only thing I cared about was stopping this Pentagon contract (ironically, alienating the very type of people who were on my side with this behavior). But the account got thousands of views before I came to my senses after the psych ward and deleted it and many former colleagues who would form my career network unfollowed my primary Twitter account and if we were FB friends blocked me there. The good news is that a few reached out to me in concern (hooray for nice friends), but one warned me that my tweets had done the rounds in a bad way.

I ended up in the psych ward for over a month not long after which is its own story. But obviously the damage was done.

I of course reached out and apologized to my friend but she totally ignored me, understandably. I have no good way to apologize to however many people saw the original tweet and given the current political climate I doubt my apology would be accepted anyway. I feel like I fucked up in a big way and the current climate is to burn the heretic, especially because again women in tech is a seriously hot button issue today.

Now I've been unemployed for a long time since and trying to deal with difficult engineer interviews while severely depressed which is its own set of challenges. But the shame of that tweet is really burned into my brain and knowing that so many people out there now classify me into this mysognistic pig bucket. I don't believe some misguided tweets in a time of great distress should earn me that label, but some might disagree and even some people in this very sub which is really depressing. A lot of times if I go for a run or go do chores the shame is coming out to play in the back of my mind, just reminding me of how I fucked up. The fact that I have to do things like ask for references from my old manager (and I still don't know how badly I burned bridges there) also means I can't totally hide from it because the reminders are there.

I'm guessing and hoping that the shame will subside in time as I hopefully eventually get a new job and move on in my life but it's really tough in the meantime. I am doing Headspace meditation app every day, going to therapy, trying to embrace mindfulness but it seems much easier said then done to distance myself from these thoughts. Especially as I have to try to maintain my career while walking through the minefield I created with my behavior.

Anyway just wanted to get it all out of my system, and maybe talk about how others deal with the shame of their behavior following a manic episode. Thanks for reading.

​",7.2558684672815135,7.359290415019764,7.511569499341237,72.50146052920509,63.82213438735178,10.569279754062363,36.383673693456295,10.25414643259724,3.796476723759332,5345,238,936,112,72,1742,482,1265,0.14400000000000002,0.7509999999999999,0.105,-0.9967,12,0,1,0,0,0,90.0,2,1,7,7,55,68,7,12,93,0,93,11,5,14,11,181,155,87,1,18,33,0,5,6,5,8,2,4,1,4,66,53,2,10,25,3,9,22,15,36,2,8,67,14,134,32,159,69,31,148,0,6,6,3,77,61,4,26,61,699,200,25,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09987385345345083,0.0,0.045105801083235364,0.050584685303317264,0.05661929544637165,0.04365240749497151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03425772528002021,0.0,0.07783636628905972,0.04735983405978611,0.0,0.06402139398614712,0.06951818062967449,0.17763970281596644,0.0,0.17711919392029862,0.09380491248672942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04647255266171375,0.0,0.04761332718905655,0.042444289876744964,0.042765205855413775,0.0,0.03586033103361203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13295182559924826,0.0,0.0,0.053695470984274934,0.3862658646329504,0.07171126046910369,0.04225330529125485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12780501903068991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03477630224683895,0.0,0.0368715893433088,0.0,0.0,0.16497628629587152,0.0,0.07014969536500444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.021049245131191663,0.02974029139989945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03541023179818128,0.0,0.0,0.16081515212137734,0.07697203941955665,0.04349963724906975,0.03993503568883231,0.09463655229858793,0.06983409415148782,0.09988530742083032,0.045896930417414133,0.045859847093866486,0.0,0.03681303766869778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042724118860429504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269544118268159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607037690596337,0.08262217793339724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863584185138051,0.0,0.0,0.044079879095515376,0.0,0.0,0.029404313361417588,0.12202911596375983,0.0,0.0,0.07368201191304001,0.034958493151021466,0.0,0.0,0.10617633743126216,0.0,0.0393910623488818,0.0,0.16882407123753046,0.08364532956744472,0.045346986196689004,0.04624125145167827,0.0,0.041952982023106065,0.044162570733364735,0.12610249682671967,0.0,0.03322845775071315,0.04424582068357421,0.030602645613122825,0.03086792142701442,0.03210741845331048,0.20103129006101947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03994485402707016,0.09479145970323376,0.17473361836696366,0.0,0.08462815859824073,0.0316612897987897,0.0442969737471872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03974029309187272,0.20202571873854006,0.0726989587091474,0.0,0.0,0.0787071120419897,0.046931271857754406,0.07973955828355596,0.04235240722150516,0.0448838959497528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328200230922775,0.04738375297278735,0.13334537294041854,0.08560460315042122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035551566704624525,0.03959941162817876,0.06621127322024728,0.04167862765859268,0.0,0.033173509418857015,0.03789814774752457,0.043428893293865865,0.09405950349246793,0.0,0.1033096423275784,0.0,0.04165980005410153,0.04243627284409223,0.0,0.032048604276603214,0.0,0.0,0.02946574109428212,0.0,0.033245560591101814,0.0696086459635481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031300380254312275,0.16730202267160088,0.0,0.03832706736947558,0.047607230676801074,0.0,0.11062778602631528,0.0800239608295367,0.0,0.06609871989126476,0.0970985343228907,0.0,0.03946012167077465,0.03977899632779,0.04625216796039091,0.1130554311822334,0.0,0.0,0.04333802286626241,0.0,0.03595472533795965,0.0,0.10304667495926008,0.02455429662074549,0.09913123914124704,0.06678572559369188,0.0,0.07486026359190334,0.07718236386353182,0.0,0.13943433919730966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06061388658643406,0.0,0.042424257060339136,0.08871770917258047,0.0,0.050584685303317264,0.0
bipolarreddit,fancytrashpanda,2018/12/16,"Spouse question: My husband was diagnosed with bipolar. I love him, but he's been going through a rough time lately and things have been especially difficult. Are there any suggestions for how I can set boundaries or deal with him doing hurtful things? I'm sorry if this doesn't belong here, but I'm kind of at my wit's end with this, and tonight, I'm near my breaking point. 

So, he's been dealing with a lot of stress at work for the past eight weeks or so, and this past week, it seems like every single thing that could go wrong did. He is taking medication, but is in between counselors at the moment. He's ovbiously been in a bad place and I feel like I've been as accommodating as I can be. Tonight I blew a tire. I called him to come help as I don't know how to change a tire. He first gets mad because he can't find his keys which I used earlier to go get something from the car. He finally shows up completely pissed off at me, basically blaming me for getting a flat. Then, when he can't get the bolts off the tire, tells me that it's my mess and leaves me in a dark parking lot to figure it out for myself. I called my parents for help and they came and helped, but I'm incredibly hurt by the whole thing. I get that his thinking isn't clear and he's normally a sweet and caring person, but this incident wasn't acceptable in any way. When there is some sort of conflict caused by his illness, I usually forgive it and let it go, but I honestly feel like I can't just forgive and forget this time.

How can I address things like this with him? I don't want to make him feel bad about his illness, but there has to be some accountability. I feel like I usually forgive his outbursts and am understanding when he's moody, but I don't deserve to be treated badly. I want to find the line between being an understanding, supportive spouse and being a doormat.",5.490036075036072,5.358827378306877,6.001385281385282,82.6383116883117,67.54497354497353,9.200769600769602,31.202982202982213,8.841846274778883,2.2521386243386248,1471,53,311,22,22,477,184,378,0.188,0.696,0.11699999999999999,-0.9858,1,0,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,1,2,14,28,2,1,17,0,34,10,1,6,1,68,66,36,0,5,12,4,5,5,0,0,8,0,1,1,20,21,0,1,17,1,1,7,9,12,0,2,9,6,40,16,44,50,6,44,0,2,0,1,40,15,1,10,24,201,60,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679296324704752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21510072453056706,0.05234729134712617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17537155877111335,0.09821566179198177,0.08755309207824802,0.08821507008073938,0.09084208728329783,0.07397185520265961,0.09003604775746063,0.0,0.0,0.06856248191726637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17706227209098993,0.0,0.08715913352581378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760578552785446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723515784501128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.173679569383826,0.18404274018465544,0.0,0.09406950800032224,0.15697245545589975,0.07304340098847782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2243250951127861,0.0,0.1952140747654708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17267628049966266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18385732057252688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942335714796842,0.047193471716552735,0.0,0.09686831336328217,0.0909269474045838,0.0,0.08781080556162199,0.0,0.20976568063744813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14601204975031992,0.07750359838891224,0.0,0.057320793126562214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650786049015469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413715890867171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535163579166996,0.0,0.16395070104332862,0.0,0.07498085896051357,0.08971884948323741,0.0,0.08117759830399336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09619724314261008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817541603286521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610911407298971,0.0,0.09612762328015696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983670577183694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744749073516927,0.0,0.0,0.06456569499567613,0.0,0.07505665450841822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28525052381903304,0.055023853866801566,0.0,0.0,0.10014629695681147,0.29609462051927576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787933273247205,0.0,0.07416656957399692,0.18915362099560726,0.0,0.10130006176075113,0.06816187001493257,0.13776403844656662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09587396855236648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251645638239538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388847918958992,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,witchybipolar,2018/12/16,"Writing A Book About BP I have a degree and background experience in the mental health field. I have BP, have a family full of humans experiencing chronic mental illness in a variety of ways. I almost lost my life to this disorder countless times. I give a lot of shits about educating and reducing stigma. I have enjoyed writing in general and post on a blog. I have written some unpublished stuff in the past.... I want to write a book about my experience with BP, what has helped me, studies and other people's experiences with it. Any insights you would find helpful as a hypothetical reader? I want this book to be less clinical, more readable for the average person. I want to do some sections for significant others to read and family members etc. Any feedback is appreciated. ",5.217300469483568,7.578488359154933,6.724999999999998,67.9241666666667,70.33802816901408,9.522065727699527,32.960093896713616,9.928628108626363,3.880434741784038,625,30,99,17,12,213,90,142,0.079,0.813,0.109,0.2887,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,1,3,3,1,0,11,0,10,6,1,0,0,21,16,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,7,7,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,13,1,21,12,8,11,0,1,0,0,9,7,1,4,2,75,20,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15877219293570138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21564874872765147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817203573971685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17683325828089974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4652982768405292,0.2989473481057449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14491846367562528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15210257225556265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685389535392802,0.0,0.0,0.2125551790646289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11199368225257242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17308398006910936,0.13479971289542594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195768512254155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15136084636464114,0.10992364027468284,0.1384460841117328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518540263736754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586001684401855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16275674947032298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815101288874923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092456013735871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28056354112530874,0.12585537322625148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263452869568046,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,IAmNotAnonymous0,2018/12/16,"Is it normal to be delusional when you're in a depressive episode? I'm not manic.

But I'm paranoid and I'm pretty convinced that certain people I'm close with can read minds.

Jesus Christ I sound crazy.

It's becoming a real problem. I'm having conversations with these people in my head until it gets uncomfortable enough that I tell them over and over to ""Get out of my head."" 

I feel crazy but the longer it goes on the more I'm convinced that I'm not the crazy one.

Once again, I'm not manic.

Is this normal?
Is this real?",0.4821428571428577,2.9032366851851883,2.387089947089951,91.68833333333332,89.55555555555556,4.9375661375661375,17.8994708994709,6.5431188927421005,0.027791534391534256,414,11,86,5,14,137,63,108,0.133,0.7809999999999999,0.086,-0.4479,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,5,0,6,2,2,0,1,19,17,6,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,10,6,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,2,6,3,12,16,2,10,2,1,0,0,3,7,0,0,3,51,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171703237113345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16936332076967686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20317877829471329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942566988205473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20546962830064627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4036129667684901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19854750360647064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3853253858768079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094121862922934,0.13324644671851466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726469326543732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20005071121889345,0.0,0.188155231240054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966903995156481,0.44763233564741817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17186956831090294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,youvebeengilmored_,2018/12/16,"Do I blame the disorder or myself? I was manic at the beginning of this year. Textbook case: tattoos, spent lots of money, drank a lot, talked a lot, did not sleep a lot, and was very promiscuous. Because of that last trait, I ended up with HPV. When I found out, I had already begun sleeping with my now boyfriend and breaking it to him hurt like hell. The whole situation hurt like hell. I felt/feel like a whore. I spiraled into depression, got the genital warts treated, and tried to move on. Well, its happening again. Im at home for Christmas break and I don't want to tell my mom. I have to go back to my gyno at school and get everything situated and keep it from her. I told my roommate about it and she told me I need to realize I made mistakes and that it was a ""weird version of me, but it was still me."" I feel like I had no control over myself. As a stable person now I'd never want to sleep around. But do I need to own up to it? How do I move past this?",1.2466378633150048,3.1081070547263714,3.094993453783712,91.71527886881384,80.44278606965173,6.221628698612203,22.519245875883737,7.273561745256523,0.6882776119402991,742,24,167,10,19,248,119,201,0.146,0.7879999999999999,0.065,-0.8975,0,0,0,1,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,1,10,14,2,0,10,0,12,7,3,3,1,34,29,14,0,5,4,1,1,4,0,0,2,0,1,1,11,13,1,2,3,0,2,3,4,8,1,0,14,1,28,6,29,15,7,28,2,3,0,1,9,10,2,5,17,118,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268112392657792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229845462465988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836231820253228,0.0,0.07005094019943271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288866178942713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897587074793646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13170221261997392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10178032396144092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327793099023858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162086596619822,0.16419018259318605,0.1103361419765116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12599804740887866,0.0,0.0,0.060038192688036875,0.0,0.06530867751495571,0.0,0.09190779069870454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161869793672837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526882301691528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24603714609124816,0.0,0.12412760552470332,0.0,0.0,0.10214147365226144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367082555470672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245660896230328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3907855058872222,0.0,0.10873507647649247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458671868745484,0.0,0.2442722998015405,0.0,0.17041560175804976,0.08862930809182827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10969909291277777,0.0,0.1003390917080066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11629982083160252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583378960181505,0.3449930980350958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917710353013604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923640904565998,0.10044052101326796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21961185862676516,0.0,0.07801954442612252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09481667002786892,0.13555934578438875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033221243771186,0.0,0.0,0.12829816911076572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400130517294251
bipolarreddit,keep_it_poppin,2018/11/26,"What if you are aware of how insane the things SOUND are so you don’t say them even though you believe them. Can’t be mania? Like, if you know you don’t feel normal but you know the consequences of your actions so you control your words..... Does that have to be hypomania because mania is not that controllable? ",2.647759562841532,5.001157737704919,3.076639344262297,91.11255464480877,78.18032786885246,6.033879781420765,21.642076502732237,7.1686216300943375,0.5845387978142074,246,7,50,3,6,76,41,61,0.037000000000000005,0.934,0.028999999999999998,-0.1179,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,9,2,2,5,1,0,0,2,0,9,0,0,3,0,12,12,7,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,11,1,3,10,0,1,0,0,0,0,12,0,0,2,1,38,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17189410632335494,0.0,0.0,0.3176980692245988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6325354074306889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467650610367428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18624698939748255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14257898354227305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3099407604958617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13776255956159986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762832873870602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22424405188748286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873368520445268,0.0,0.2770466833382457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,yer3hqmk,2018/11/26,"Why do we stop taking medication? Hello all! This is my first time posting, I'm hoping I can get some help soul searching. I have Bipolar I and have been medicated for about two years now with no major lapses in medication, just a day here or there. Recently I've stopped taking the medication and I don't know why. I know I need it, I know I'm sick, I know it is helping.. which has brought me to the question: Why is it so common for those of us who have bipolar disorder to stop taking their medicine? I would really love and appreciate hearing some other peoples' experiences so I can try to figure out where my hangup is and try to fix it.",2.3833720930232585,4.4649122403100785,4.24436046511628,83.77956395348839,77.75968992248062,7.090697674418602,25.47868217054264,8.07648339933343,1.5971286821705433,505,19,102,9,12,171,83,129,0.115,0.787,0.098,0.2752,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,0,1,1,8,2,0,0,3,0,14,8,0,0,1,25,29,7,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,7,1,0,0,9,7,0,4,6,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,2,1,16,2,11,26,4,15,1,0,0,1,10,3,0,5,10,71,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08437678671186477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14994653085391044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12798027222316205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128691195307074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06835510606254176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14745886807771955,0.0,0.17538988021090834,0.0,0.0,0.1299471906067853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876106895684233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808234574556023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5272039649487299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701138568087248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907034784330592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12530233143425262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14656346751198673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381529306188798,0.0,0.12918230166161862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32814800388777976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29511153849364463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629006851431254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776547226166402,0.0,0.1278053228859273,0.0,0.15737659661339676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3541706634440734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294036768467014,0.0,0.0,0.08425248724835331
bipolarreddit,neverwhere9,2018/11/26,"Can’t focus and feel like it’s ruining my life. Feeling hopeless. Rant ahead. 

I can’t focus on a god damned thing. I’ve only just been able to *watch television* again, and I still have to pause for ‘breaks.’ As you might have guessed, I’m depressed right now. But I’m coming out of it and have been, my therapist agrees. I’ve been told for *years* now that my focus will come back once I’m stable (even when I’m not depressed or hypomanic I’ve been told this, on various medications). 

I can’t engage in any of my hobbies except my houseplants (in a more limited capacity than I’d like). My therapist takes it seriously—it’s the one thing I cry about frequently—but I’ve never had a psychiatrist who does. My current pdoc won’t let me try any non-stimulant ADHD meds despite my father’s and my brother’s diagnosis. I suspect it’s partially because it presents differently in women and also he’s a prick who won’t let me try even the bipolar meds I’m curious about. Every bipolar medication I’ve been put on (antipsychotics and Wellbutrin mostly) that’s promised a ‘pep in my step’ has sedated me *terribly*, made me lose more focus with the addition of fogginess and memory loss, or given me terrifying anxiety. I’m Bipolar I but haven’t been truly manic in *years* and lean very heavily on the depressed side and I just don’t feel like antipsychotics do me any good as such. Antidepressants just make me irritable beyond compare and don’t seem to do anything else. 

I’m 24. I want to go back to college and be successful at it. I want to read books again, and be able to take the time needed to master my artistic hobbies and the languages I more or less gave up on learning. I cry about it more or less every day when I try to read and can’t get more than two or three pages in. I feel like all I do is lay here like a vegetable and it has me feeling so restless and frustrated. The best I can do to *do* anything is to take a walk with some music in. That’s not a way to live your damn life. 

I don’t have a job right now or *any* money at all. I’m having trouble finding one without a phone. I feel completely useless since I can’t even work on my writing, which was supposed to eventually become my career. I’m taking two online classes in January and I’m worried it’s going to be insurmountable. Taking two undergrad gen eds is looking iffy. I wanted to be a professor. My life is shit no matter how many ‘pleasant events’ my therapist tries to fill my days with. 

**TL;DR:** My lack of focus makes my depression way worse by feeding into feelings of utter worthlessness/hopelessness, yay. ",2.969903100775195,4.921807812015505,4.661069767441862,82.06842635658917,75.53100775193798,7.8424806201550386,27.55193798449612,8.648137234880735,2.187614263565892,2045,83,397,42,45,690,248,516,0.152,0.7509999999999999,0.09699999999999999,-0.9837,3,0,0,0,0,2,65.0,0,2,0,8,25,29,5,1,18,1,44,12,2,4,3,70,85,32,0,5,15,2,7,5,0,4,8,0,0,1,18,25,2,1,11,4,1,8,16,17,0,6,13,9,47,12,57,62,15,53,0,9,2,0,13,23,4,11,25,254,65,12,0.14802944946507107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895131588765734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05918954862782515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20133020356473014,0.0,0.056621061833179324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12181562398323807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382550932603305,0.0,0.045118689217115884,0.08174344842549293,0.0,0.0,0.07767388726115955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12751426329093235,0.07760303069299664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16260339930993148,0.0954667487341624,0.0,0.2549950958291772,0.0,0.0,0.07732963411436604,0.0,0.0,0.06477078438987008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0618298051519939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14665808290903734,0.0,0.1247211956321263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619684810289183,0.15862840241329398,0.0,0.0,0.06764811751574157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038669638827642634,0.0,0.08412854747100149,0.062080039500820784,0.0,0.0,0.08153556378673746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344819363766124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15137014138008192,0.15683636686213895,0.1807992793808116,0.0,0.06535635795144645,0.0,0.06215372769056957,0.08280354474233725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07003452214310069,0.09881080698544817,0.07503931380838266,0.0,0.0,0.16442734750509616,0.14912409684812414,0.0,0.07851792649125855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05488098055200336,0.05708471857677646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07882326626085136,0.1003085859897958,0.0562915333903253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07440524136034292,0.0,0.0,0.14806950833639915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264163410240002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06738022559784695,0.0,0.0,0.07597505131777346,0.0612257451458147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05910825478012045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27824930876360743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578104002966524,0.09834418860655736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04315858120219085,0.0,0.0,0.1414484826265679,0.0,0.20100455855704244,0.0,0.21690489391065476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06106989935338353,0.13096740690792855,0.1174988867816569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134755342055285,0.0,0.05388360111640294,0.07516554572612569,0.07542732775728908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09532611211936258
bipolarreddit,dootdootoops,2018/11/26,"New tattoo, didn’t think about people asking why I got Pluto/“a moon” on my ankle I showed some coworkers my first tattoo.  One of them asked why I got it.  “I...like Pluto...”

It’s above scars I look at the most when I want to relapse and cut.  I was looking at words and stuff for a tattoo to remind myself to be good to me and love myself, and I kept finding words/characters I liked, then wanting something more artsy/“better” (it has water color for a background).  I’m really into planet tattoos/space tattoos, and Pluto always makes me happy because of the heart.  So a heart to remind me to love me.  I’ve started telling myself if Pluto was sentient, it would want me to love me too.

Of course, I’m not telling people that.  I hesitated telling my boyfriend besides calling it my, “chill the fuck out” tattoo.

I dunno.  I’m happy right now and I wanted to share.

^(Pluto is a planet in my heart.)",1.798770287141075,4.032937578651687,3.580149812734085,87.00789013732832,80.51685393258427,5.079151061173533,21.68664169787765,6.139981653823899,0.4455570536828968,691,21,131,5,18,231,102,178,0.044000000000000004,0.7809999999999999,0.175,0.9725,1,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,1,1,5,10,2,0,7,0,7,8,3,1,0,23,28,10,0,6,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,8,1,1,2,1,0,0,2,2,0,2,6,3,26,8,20,20,3,13,0,0,3,4,11,7,1,4,7,85,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503448249319057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23601829087185225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694937661898002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889618332541328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537304302513085,0.10737220642271353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669872358415855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587675357948212,0.20191726707902996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687509498255051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.448753790277192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061670195136061534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21200485578472167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34178579798180864,0.0,0.08426031576582475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191489339510522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553753771860509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17502566004669964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086694823391533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780076732103948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717895588935516,0.0,0.0,0.08934710321032098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14450453985288805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3309949355677224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088386514876822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978177629961331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278080738444352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967103290860916,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,naydesinine,2018/11/26,"Hypomanic moods/symptoms? So I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II, which made a lot of sense to me at the time. It described not only the constant depression and wanting to die that I'd had since high school, but also explained why my ""good weeks"" were so punctuated with me doing things that were so absolutely stupid I'd look back at them and actually be scared of why I did that. But lately I've been a little insecure about it, so I was wondering...

What kinds of symptoms do you guys get when you're hypomanic?

Personally I get a lot of increased spending/hypersexuality, and I totally forget how to acknowledge that other people's feelings even exist. Most of all I feel like I may as well have coffee in my veins, and any time I'm not absolutely ecstatic it's because I'm snapping at someone with my short temper.

Lately though, this past week (couple weeks?) I've been feeling like I *might* be hypomanic, but my mood itself isn't so extreme. Like, usually I would call this an episode, but last time I described behaviour like this my pdoc asked me what my mood was like with a doubtful expression on her face and I didn't know quite what to make of it, so... Really, at the time I didn't feel super different? I felt really stressed, more than anything else, I felt kind of irritable like if anybody spoke against me then *how dare they*, because clearly *I* was the one in the right, but I never got like, outright angry at someone during the time. There were also periods where I'd start crying my eyes out over something stupid, like seeing one of my friends having a good time without me and suddenly I felt like I was completely unnecessary to her, and tried to wall myself off to keep from ruining her good mood or something.

The thing is, even though I didn't feel the same kind of restless excited optimism I usually get, or even the short-tempered irritability, I was still doing all the things I usually do when I'm hypo. 

I went to the mall on a whim and spent over $200 on things that I didn't need, I rambled thousands of words at someone I'd barely kept contact with all year because I suddenly wanted to be honest with them, I felt confident performing presentations that I'd only just put together powerpoints for in the 2 hours before, not even having finished reading the assignments, and worst of all I had a major paper that I submitted over a week late because I was too busy trying to sort through which man twice my age I wanted to sleep with (including one that talked about blackmailing me, who I happily sent pictures to). 

I mean luckily I managed to avoid actually going through with the latter since there always seems to be this period of talking before anything happens, so when this stupidity wore off I freaked out and bailed, but like... I don't know I guess I'm just doubting myself. That feeling of ""*Is this really bad enough*"" or if I'm exaggerating, or maybe I really am an idiot with no impulse control as my natural state and I'm just using BD as an excuse... Honestly it feels like the kind of thing where I would usually tell myself to ask my pdoc but she just has such a judgemental feeling to her... I know I could switch but the idea of confrontation/offending her when I have to say it makes me reluctant enough that I'm don't want to even mention this to her right now rip.

​

**TL;DR**: I'm getting all my hypo symptoms without an actual boost in mood, unless you count plain confidence and moderate irritability. What kind of moods do you get during hypo/manic episodes? Would something like this count, or should I just be trying harder or something?",5.521773358001847,6.666166671014497,6.27930003083565,76.19132747456061,67.79710144927536,9.524514338575393,31.782300339192105,9.743131844045095,3.090609312365093,2873,118,522,63,47,944,309,690,0.15,0.718,0.132,-0.9435,2,1,4,0,0,0,96.0,0,3,3,4,39,48,5,7,29,0,47,8,4,7,8,111,104,50,1,12,27,0,12,12,1,6,4,2,0,3,38,23,0,4,21,2,1,5,14,17,1,5,31,17,78,26,78,61,16,74,0,2,3,0,32,28,0,19,52,360,116,5,0.0,0.0,0.156617969615113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556410373785434,0.0445143309194091,0.05796468209065018,0.06500550110731018,0.03638023693104668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804801632237266,0.0,0.10002616334672856,0.0,0.0,0.04113639111030614,0.04466830366545881,0.1304466850715082,0.0,0.0910451207710236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05462708267418985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056091268834798674,0.05781195492662699,0.060002164162680185,0.04271352087290773,0.05919413286430845,0.05876465714481807,0.0,0.0,0.046077448084126234,0.05429898925788232,0.05552211514896969,0.055893658498532936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044690422420534316,0.0,0.0,0.11055474781818317,0.0,0.17667346841539855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21640015660534173,0.11465619686682775,0.20546453657065664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0413321521587598,0.0,0.1397515720620959,0.0,0.03040394769854605,0.13461387347194326,0.04278695830048648,0.0,0.058933693531269524,0.05297108499784543,0.0473077957604503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0565232050999538,0.0,0.0,0.05268440957504053,0.0,0.0,0.060392335788317576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04755116993549003,0.0,0.2785478533780535,0.08820272908129549,0.0436077254878228,0.1810430402632755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136349978393981,0.05361870025367721,0.0,0.0,0.04492455278929243,0.0,0.0,0.09096357891816224,0.0,0.050620770531321996,0.07142019440362342,0.0,0.05374558061608892,0.05827462489380623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056752553139262925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03966783006501299,0.04126068618010505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10875417776112548,0.0813747479788758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051069560897696285,0.03708853495427985,0.046712085016745834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05377991501867615,0.0,0.05690133658540265,0.05351212783937676,0.0,0.13708785947931354,0.0,0.052822475977999515,0.0,0.0,0.09137340263862537,0.0,0.04254347900779512,0.05356048100657337,0.05414247852599035,0.0426307011762601,0.04870225188897547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850761883697121,0.0,0.05353628597882418,0.0,0.1359851572798458,0.16474042040972064,0.0,0.0,0.03786591245644183,0.0,0.042723292887151584,0.0,0.06128137803019033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16681362862176788,0.0,0.08599877021926068,0.046759304642216885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17770730963115505,0.0,0.10512234021434777,0.0,0.18716946174312585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10896417926942434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04620479348156577,0.23568041624663744,0.0,0.12621720163706698,0.0,0.17165035358037686,0.0,0.04810081271275477,0.04959285809045658,0.0965466173061956,0.0,0.0,0.1031396522501679,0.058015920035359235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11400958822369113,0.0,0.06500550110731018,0.0344507330069125
bipolarreddit,alaskajefferson,2018/11/26,"Should I not be surprised I just want to make it clear I am in no way trying to “self-diagnose” myself. 

I have known myself to go through phases of depression, but just attributed it to what I thought to be seasonal depression or what not. However, these episodes have gotten worse with more frequent ups and downs. Constant spending, reckless behavior, failure to do things. A whole collection of contradictory symptoms (I.e feelings depressed but just laying in bed all day, ultimately fueling my depression)

I went to a therapist at my University, and they said they don’t usually approach the idea of medication so soon after the first session but wanted me to meet with a psychiatrist so I could get started on some mood stabilizers to help with my “ups” and “downs.” This was two weeks ago.

This week is that appointment with the psychiatrist and I just wanted to know what to expect. I did some research on mood stabilizers and found a lot of things indicating bipolar disorder treatment using them for management.

I feel as if the therapist was saying in a not-so-direct manner that she suspected I was bipolar. However, she didn’t actually use the term bipolar explicitly.

Should I not be surprised if I turn out to be bipolar when meeting with this psychiatrist? ",6.869124449339208,8.58602966519824,7.305239537444937,67.95715446035243,65.12334801762114,10.9613436123348,37.535517621145374,10.9516,4.734594933920706,1022,53,163,30,16,334,133,227,0.162,0.81,0.027999999999999997,-0.9854,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,3,1,8,8,0,0,10,0,18,6,0,4,3,49,36,15,0,9,13,0,2,0,0,2,6,2,1,0,13,11,0,0,8,0,1,3,6,4,0,2,10,4,24,2,36,19,7,29,0,4,0,0,10,11,0,6,14,132,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.13255834692342755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041223986584043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14679268023302006,0.0,0.1084556337712656,0.0,0.0,0.0876043079513617,0.0,0.4679884713223176,0.13787276657958808,0.0,0.0,0.15568217962627387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373676042924845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11554378029333018,0.0,0.14893941611952774,0.0,0.0,0.07096977729194398,0.0,0.07719989711468025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09104938500453877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15334462996712414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465304262265975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11548465684936432,0.0,0.0,0.0906729565932956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368425496465754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12921309702204303,0.10802387357281908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14170871667060495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614687456953466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411877507334659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154369034261764,0.1804895358467921,0.0,0.0,0.10784024250836634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222512278328696,0.14775279709258,0.1326940418121849,0.0,0.0,0.23464093139145245,0.14960642666030755,0.0,0.24036241305969594,0.10782192541431967,0.21792218838636665,0.0,0.0,0.12592323800074398,0.0,0.15165833748638996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384305831383841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ihcava,2018/11/26,"Wondering if I should take a semester off I'm a 23-year-old college student, going into my third year. I live in the US and go to a good public university and have made good grades so far. This semester has been extremely tough because I was hospitalized for a mixed episode over the summer, and I was not doing well at all months (if not a year) before that. 

So yeah this semester has been different. I get very overwhelmed with school and take everything too seriously to the point that it's detrimental to my mental health. I get suicidal when I see what I need to do. I get hopeless and helpless over the littlest things. My stress has caused me severe anxiety and panic, and I cry over nothing. I toss and turn at night when I think of assignments I'm not doing. It's gotten bad.

I will probably make Bs and Cs (though I don't know for sure) and am wondering about taking the next semester off. Now, when I'm not in school, I'm either completely stable or a total wreck. Not taking classes will be a gamble, but taking them will be too because I don't know if my mental health will be better or worse with them.

Just wondering what you all think and maybe some experiences from people who have taken time off from school or work because of bipolar.",4.465473922902497,5.8568327469387755,5.2750680272108825,81.48584467120183,70.51020408163265,8.709750566893424,27.488662131519273,9.150863307647796,2.2310226757369613,993,34,191,20,18,323,135,245,0.121,0.826,0.053,-0.9004,1,0,0,0,0,1,26.0,1,1,2,2,12,13,0,3,12,1,23,3,0,3,4,45,51,24,1,5,14,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,10,14,0,0,7,0,1,2,7,8,1,1,7,1,24,5,24,36,5,26,0,3,1,0,6,13,0,10,11,133,34,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07931820918923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657206340830538,0.18961496908399308,0.0,0.08822770646762726,0.0,0.0,0.0917003415645052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065123419355933,0.0,0.0,0.10871102065094766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389233991535015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832803018214768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318476733274664,0.10142314531434908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625123091566032,0.0,0.11785235937028472,0.173930950786808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204231344935917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396436441076363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155514050782576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810859595287637,0.06921007841322148,0.0,0.10416482004464868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089787843683296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275982269095826,0.0,0.0,0.0768805980495233,0.0,0.0,0.11026943416852823,0.09730069605877266,0.0,0.0994878866030304,0.0,0.10879923605459177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216511913655321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188164170796445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801518153475924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178921689199488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148021549557564,0.08262296667929217,0.0,0.0,0.11713375158480152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187700205566666,0.0,0.0,0.1134138005411093,0.0,0.0977212299910718,0.0,0.3897884667775259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688832447846201,0.1328734315420444,0.10186930279270197,0.0,0.060459151793931014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277874965981174,0.0,0.0,0.12471945206965634,0.0,0.0,0.08555040995784348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322464178060376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3373236162453252,0.07548340859117174,0.0,0.10566316434093144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20030787813260875
bipolarreddit,waytoomanyfandoms,2018/11/26,"I need advice for taking control of my medication. Any would be helpful. (Mentions suicide) I've only been diagnosed with bipolar for about 8 months now, and those months have been hell where medication was concerned.

I was on olanzapine which caused insane weight gain, that probably ruined my body for the rest of my life, very achy joints, and just sort of had me in an over medicated haze.

Then there was the seroquel, which also caused weight gain as well as making my depression much worse. 

I'm just on lamictal now, which mellows me out slightly, but that's about it.

In all cases, I believe I was being a naive stupid child. I took it on faith that the doctor's would give me what I needed, and I got burned bad. So, tomorrow is my appointment to discuss all this, and I need tips on how to take control of my medication. I just want to be free of the episodes with as few side effects as possible. I don't want to be a food vacuuming zombie, I don't want to be hobbling like an old lady at the age of 21, I don't want to be so over medicated that I don't care if my house is clean or my pets are fed.

I just want to be better. But I don't want to take chances with my body and sanity. I don't want to get on a med that will kill me of a heart attack at age 30. That's just a slow suicide, which is worse to me than actual suicide.

Please, if any of you have any experience with finding the right meds, then share your secrets with me. Please. I just want this all to stop. I don't want to live like this anymore, it's torture.

Help.",3.5893404072268424,4.38538271608833,4.6957915113277915,87.06024591339262,71.9968454258675,7.908746773731,26.08101519931173,8.150884317080207,1.3521495268138803,1199,37,265,17,22,394,157,317,0.17300000000000001,0.6679999999999999,0.16,-0.9561,0,0,0,0,0,4,39.0,0,2,0,6,17,16,5,0,13,0,30,16,3,7,3,50,53,20,4,16,11,0,2,2,0,3,9,0,3,1,18,11,4,3,3,0,1,1,7,8,1,0,10,2,35,9,47,33,6,28,2,2,0,0,10,15,1,4,14,176,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.07944733843997362,0.0,0.0,0.07955583576011965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510594210242872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16609088361834765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073981398972663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261903414132852,0.0,0.0,0.06797644959075204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917245653908438,0.0,0.07200317747325771,0.0,0.18086296677197808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08300597354788197,0.1672671427093002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826231915179922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012089266741417,0.08263247545197128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833296493972626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963753032291647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07441000184021841,0.0,0.09844491582871999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042534929307617514,0.07809876253430093,0.0,0.0,0.06511340873469801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647479019588473,0.10913882789117106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09393966466744563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09007141581894249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575044055197806,0.07954855334033976,0.0,0.07188916549385806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05434380585616259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18086296677197808,0.4100751332181467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12996615059891925,0.0,0.059847918286173175,0.1811001110082905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854292423445664,0.0,0.0,0.06191825075085247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17873403968589133,0.0,0.09178091851002056,0.0,0.0,0.08777697755693456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952625227184354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806490864063035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671578055966276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836373191521993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045283220431226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06717424652962138,0.4321754402150167,0.0,0.0,0.19827818846018336,0.07320005915450056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16593359293158774,0.11566691055016187,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,konthecase,2018/11/26,"No judgement please, just support I had a challenging day. I’m almost off all of my meds and it’s been a long and frustrating process. Today I struggled with the people around me; feeling disappointed by friends, hurt about an ex and all around sad about humanity. Yet I still managed to get up and get dressed, found time to exercise, ate  well, meditated and went grocery shopping. Then I took a nap and couldn’t shake the dread and I ended up cutting.  After doing so well, all day. 
I’m not totally discouraged but hoping this was just a misstep, and tomorrow will be better. ",3.7674311926605486,6.136985972477068,4.5747614678899104,81.67792201834864,74.59633027522933,7.662752293577981,30.16605504587156,8.548686976883017,2.5539937614678903,457,21,83,9,10,147,81,109,0.142,0.675,0.183,0.6940000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,11,16,2,3,7,0,7,2,0,0,4,25,18,11,0,2,4,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,2,11,1,1,2,3,1,3,3,9,2,0,7,1,7,7,13,8,4,19,0,4,0,0,3,5,0,2,11,59,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196499242563147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34937837232257385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17355235276180642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531084097723517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738044042335929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922142155387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151596174206765,0.1516093133168009,0.0,0.2050475358156479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19490388322789207,0.0,0.0,0.2100717404472164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736602410061611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179708903986584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13604341953320767,0.0,0.0,0.21540516817906666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15671211778118962,0.0,0.0,0.20514558772381228,0.0,0.0,0.2226831536237444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144251794573622,0.0,0.18600616518361932,0.0,0.2180223483728576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35287449622026235,0.1819101781013399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nonnaalee,2018/11/26,"Today... I self harmed. Today I failed myself. 
Today I broke a promise to myself
Today I self harmed. 
Six years, I’d been “recovered” 
Six years I’d been proud. 

Six years I’ve lost so much, 
Gained so much. 
This year i has the baby I’d hoped and prayed for. 

But this year I also lost my world. 
Papa

When he died I became numb. I couldn’t feel. No emotion. Nothing worked. There was no happiness anymore. I distanced myself from my daughter 

But today, today while lost in thought in the tub, relaxing, thinking... always thinking. I done it. I remembered the sting. And today. I felt it again 

Hello manic episode nice to see you again...  goodbye depressive. But dear sweet bipolar. I will never let you force me into harming myself to feel again. 

Today, a year from now... I will celebrate my one year again. I will start fresh. 

YOU WILL NOT WIN. ",0.5646631629240311,3.0135715652173936,1.8498447204968933,92.82931079789776,97.32298136645964,3.9676063067367418,17.993549928332538,5.8734145424116955,-0.08610578117534606,646,19,123,6,26,205,92,161,0.212,0.615,0.17300000000000001,-0.7458,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,3,0,8,10,19,0,0,5,0,11,2,0,0,1,17,23,10,1,2,4,1,3,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,7,1,0,0,5,10,0,4,9,5,26,9,9,8,2,28,1,6,1,0,8,4,0,1,24,81,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.074959369625187,0.07799453367100861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929593423408735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073330547364406,0.0,0.09728151339198916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592283996472284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054385890545533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478986290574412,0.0,0.0899997280918975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997820168564158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09309941382435506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09584977957233742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3069665265161942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13781114544209594,0.0,0.07229375149745239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899406894028029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351685853416211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061828081684666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469418476333378,0.0,0.19557085376774647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634569414093354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201224434879451,0.0,0.0744146471487201,0.0,0.0,0.7107940451268724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06823976304022371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.422533184257948
bipolarreddit,MutedPresence,2019/04/18,"Seroquel in high doses Hi,

Has anyone had experience with ""high"" doses (200mg+) of seroquel? How did it affect you? What else are you/were you on? Did you gain weight?

 I'm on 500, but going up by 50 a day (probably until 1000). I'm a bit worried about what it will do to me..",-0.33646616541353325,1.815658210526319,2.2839598997493766,93.19105263157898,89.70175438596495,4.660651629072682,16.914786967418543,6.1826913282559595,-0.33579498746867165,206,5,46,2,7,71,44,57,0.067,0.893,0.039,-0.3736,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,7,3,0,2,0,4,10,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,4,0,10,6,1,9,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,2,29,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000533177176884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3123557593814967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18451594639647775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390064638086383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798684563560777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16260173056483262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6045774750995887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084727403380092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34840238207049634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905564919715498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,blvklee,2019/04/18,How many of you take or have taken Lamictal? I’ve been on Lamictal for over 2 years. I started with small doses but as of August I’ve been at 300 mg a day. The last couple months I’ve been kind of foggy and just haven’t really felt like myself. If it is my Lamictal I don’t understand why it’s just now happening since I’ve been on it for so long. It’s also made my mouth kind of numb for a couple hours after I’ve taken it after I moved up to about 200 mg. Im curious about what other people’s experiences are.,2.4301106194690263,3.0742554070796477,4.955918141592921,84.68927544247789,74.57522123893807,8.481858407079647,21.204646017699112,8.841846274778883,1.1414787610619466,403,8,91,8,8,144,73,113,0.034,0.902,0.064,0.4728,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,8,4,0,0,3,0,9,3,1,2,0,11,17,8,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,8,1,7,3,19,9,0,18,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,2,12,55,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861898583899053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43893702673828855,0.0,0.12791818164364144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940226020333041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19044537950496507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17539866037259552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953330252116421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142500953697213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4130982604183602,0.0,0.16168025817965534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969029127629568,0.0,0.0,0.1755319175153796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18768186501822184,0.0,0.20109394530411992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15831964284431305,0.21081274913599166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375096692118836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12706693748623168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16407568274139864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14039187858755264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14913316350493436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20648747387675795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17897840162286152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772973927730713
bipolarreddit,Sunflower1000,2019/04/18,"What do you think? I have a question:

If someone did horrible things while manic: 

Cheating on spouse, sleeping with prostitutes, breaking up your family, verbal/mental/physical abuse 

Should they be responsible for their actions? What if they didn’t have insight that their disease caused them to behave so abnormally? 

My husband was recently diagnosed as having bpd w psychotic features. For the past year he’s made my life a living hell. 

He’s currently still unstable and delusional. He’s been on treatment w antipsychotics for 3 weeks (almost 4) but delusions are still present.  His delusions were all centered around me being unfaithful. This lead him to act extremely abnormal as a result. 

I wonder what will happen if he ever gains insight, is it possible to recognize how his thinking has been ? For any or you who have experienced delusions firsthand, were you able to look back after the fact and realize your thoughts were not consistent with reality? 

Because he thinks/thought I was unfaithful he searched for endless women on dating sites and hook up apps (while he was manic/hyper sexual) He’s now involved with another woman, and told her he’s never been married and doesn’t have children. 

I know if he were stable, he never would’ve behaved this way. I don’t know what to do anymore or how to help! 


Please advise!

Thanks everyone!",6.241691257432287,8.540116564853562,6.201145122219777,73.0079541951112,67.4518828451883,9.383043382514863,34.754679585994275,9.811843763644266,3.9382,1085,53,166,26,19,342,158,239,0.05,0.866,0.084,0.8759999999999999,1,0,0,0,1,0,33.0,0,5,5,2,9,3,2,0,5,0,28,3,1,6,5,40,39,19,0,5,8,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,10,9,0,0,10,0,0,3,6,2,0,0,15,2,22,1,23,20,1,30,1,0,1,0,36,8,1,9,17,114,32,2,0.15369302833277765,0.1821011065043644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15390136696333126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451652962480032,0.16116054094892202,0.0,0.0,0.1524221855574366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13681938003040478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818045188343933,0.0,0.09368984354454718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19357098890561628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15788507679088296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15599518854493874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390241432189272,0.0,0.14686027494200185,0.0,0.0,0.14488810878290626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359102373756545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301719718146664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16893133790352569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10855793115427956,0.0,0.0,0.13571375980465275,0.0,0.12906343522122574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14542805955043345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15488642357338522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370750766497808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14671738627228484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16870879195919114,0.0,0.17326579664335548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17217136603463812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15175332381352505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538040235997599,0.0,0.13022360415363418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454789019198689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414998911792435,0.0,0.0,0.10210681874783392,0.1969605734063137,0.0,0.24403019363673364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14686027494200185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219943720689454,0.12328327670799726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16667353312124833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917911765919767,0.0,0.0,0.0989732712224385
bipolarreddit,nocreativeway,2019/04/18,Antipsychotics without insurance? Any cheap antipsychotics you would recommend. I’ve been on 80mg of Latuda for three years and loved it but I can no longer afford it. Any recommendation would be greatly appreciated.,5.589166666666671,9.325777361111118,5.573555555555558,67.92700000000002,80.94444444444444,9.546666666666667,29.42222222222221,9.3871,4.074395555555556,179,8,26,6,5,56,31,36,0.068,0.7090000000000001,0.222,0.7422,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,5,6,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,2,2,4,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,17,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5053849647619529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4096769198348105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3353725451579819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3581974302201962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5279306988953246,0.0,0.0,0.2392903943935503
bipolarreddit,MaskBehindTheMan,2019/04/18,"Got a job offer! I've been out of work for 4.5 months, during which I've been largely  depressed (sum of seasons and circumstance sucked). But during my last job I reigned in my questionable financial tendencies and saved a good-sized emergency fund. It kept me able to pay rent, not living with my parents, and even let me fix my car when it broke down!

I am starting to slide out of my depression, and I'll soon have something to fill my time with, other than drowning in my own brain. 

I have an offer in hand, and will even try to negotiate salary a bit later today. Things look good, although I am NOT looking forward to moving again -- it'll be my fourth place since this time last year.",7.122634920634923,6.271553644444449,6.703280423280425,81.35333333333334,64.40740740740742,9.788359788359788,32.61904761904762,8.841846274778883,2.4420158730158734,542,18,109,7,7,169,90,135,0.11800000000000001,0.8190000000000001,0.063,-0.7707,5,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,5,6,1,0,4,0,10,2,2,0,0,15,16,8,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,7,9,0,1,1,0,3,5,2,4,0,0,4,3,14,2,18,8,2,25,0,3,2,0,4,8,1,1,14,67,21,4,0.1713056497314261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870214017324244,0.0,0.0,0.1912337592801197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950906101940996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22629153205109226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873661029064368,0.13700877715914292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33998884892611897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792739367832211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17517163316324647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15126602717784168,0.0,0.2877072026880834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13673453526439402,0.18207079527879647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902146513698988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17897794342038248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19190153283888925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141705803681575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318794584000746,0.0,0.0,0.12125102058524374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380786179665828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19977940392387492,0.0,0.16237772570151904,0.0,0.0,0.1163052913694632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12471255324491955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103152219506928
bipolarreddit,time4anewthrow,2019/04/18,"Went from frequent hypomanic episodes to completely stable despite a lithium blood level of 0.3? Up until December of last year I had recurrent hypomanic episodes lasting 4-10 days, happening every two weeks or so.

Saw a psychiatrist, got diagnosed as Bipolar NOS (unipolar manic), and was prescribed Lithium.

I have oscillated between taking 600mg and 900mg, finally settling on 600mg because anything over that was making me feel fatigued.

I've gotten my blood drawn three times since, but have never shown a blood level over 0.4. 

Currently, I am taking 600mg and have a blood level of 0.3, but I am completely stable. 

My psychiatrist has never seen anything like it. She doesn't understand how the lithium could possibly be working, and we haven't ruled out coincidence. 

Anyone know of any similar experiences?",7.561549295774647,9.444469661971834,7.89729577464789,63.73467605633803,63.64788732394365,10.75042253521127,39.55211267605634,10.793553405168565,5.0986061971830985,660,36,93,18,10,216,99,142,0.033,0.9259999999999999,0.040999999999999995,0.2455,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,5,0,13,7,4,2,2,17,25,11,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,1,0,2,8,3,9,1,14,15,0,21,0,1,2,0,2,8,0,1,13,56,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390508000277932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274013883746893,0.0,0.2998770053968345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106996760711836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38207520009316104,0.0,0.0,0.1454751993778659,0.0,0.0,0.11750661281886116,0.0,0.0,0.18493339174287773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15351486711105794,0.0,0.0,0.17823063525675698,0.0,0.0,0.09212790026498123,0.0,0.0,0.19959575629478976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14572531513045406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16112254105336565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013464383602223,0.2970414252963178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901575135564517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216226947362601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810541686028761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054078189537024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15072116783675524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27398971244362313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624471364912907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17798699355345818,0.18968096116606264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14615319048906242,0.0,0.0,0.1689050860474348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264680189963038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173335082304829
bipolarreddit,PM_ME_FLUFFY_CLOUDS,2019/04/18,"About to make a terrible financial decision for my own mental health... As the title says, I'm about to make a stupid decision.  


We're in debt $4k due to my stupid spending in the past (we all know what this is like.) Here's the thing, I haven't seen my mom in 5 years. I haven't seen any family besides who I brought with me when I moved away, and I miss them so much.  Since I left I've had at least one psychotic break, I lost a chance to obtain my dream job, and I lost the chance to graduate this year (something I was on track for in the last few years.) I just want to hug my mom. Even thirty-somethings need to see their mom sometimes.   


We're going on a vacation back home. It's going to throw us into another $2k of debt even while making use of rewards miles/points. We're already doing it, the plans are set in motion, but I feel really awful that I have to sacrifice more financial security just to get a break from my stressful life.  Is this the kind of debt that's ""ok?"" I miss home so much it makes me cry, I need to go back to my roots and find strength there.   


I guess I just need to know that this is an OK thing to do. I feel so guilty for putting my family in debt and that I can't get a job to pay it all back. I can't keep living like this without the support of my friends and family, and they're all so far away :(",4.4094120209059255,3.610660627177701,5.384719076655056,88.4054409843206,69.90592334494774,9.265592334494775,26.648301393728232,8.660442795831766,1.4168329268292688,1028,25,250,15,16,340,148,287,0.17800000000000002,0.735,0.087,-0.9769,6,0,2,0,0,0,38.0,2,0,2,6,17,19,2,1,15,3,13,3,0,6,3,36,43,14,0,4,5,3,2,2,1,0,2,1,2,0,17,9,0,2,7,1,6,8,5,8,0,1,7,6,34,11,40,36,9,36,1,4,3,1,10,14,0,1,13,152,51,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004886090293484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06781632332625948,0.1045702090536462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18738957414918064,0.23004678105583676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10954307407736584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13173465670318987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820351632404461,0.0,0.10084776946351527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114671377929327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07704717811160129,0.0,0.10420424489570222,0.0,0.17002780532413314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985817445065976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600286098320108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20006432780058334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19792306804517384,0.08864003609979576,0.0,0.10384809380062557,0.10961234813602797,0.08128906957945624,0.0,0.0,0.1083513502878603,0.0,0.0704386166017661,0.09744105689498678,0.0,0.08805887688554442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21772292627186446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26626846905260576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049920158665752,0.0,0.0,0.3503896461379748,0.0,0.10599174213162188,0.14661849061715726,0.2218341563667195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06757614485495503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519866130978018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427222497622507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002510267395438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388629780074441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07930520994915244,0.0,0.0,0.07946780061036915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249343327892238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354613600489414,0.09863043477477176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423448819893528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11316658735766733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250552919958006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995672568593432,0.08613025857714665,0.0,0.0,0.05882030518230572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961312046704435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19265861732991746
bipolarreddit,anonymousgirl56,2019/04/18,"manic/hypomanic thoughts i’m 18 years old, recently diagnosed and medicated. i’m not sure if it’s type one or two because i cant tell if i’ve technically reaches mania or if it’s just been hypomania. but during my last episode (at 17) i got involved with a 21 year old and ended up sexually assaulted (among much more) but because i was so “high” i didnt care at all in the moment and didn’t even realize that’s what it had been until other people pointed it out afterwards. and i still didn’t care until i had a pregnancy scare and my uncle died and i fell into a depressive episode and realized i had been sexually assaulted, which was hard to deal with mostly in the fact that i hadn’t cared at all. this did end in me going to the hospital when i “came down” but not being hospitalized, so i don’t know if it technically would be considered a manic episode or just hypomanic? now i can tell i’m teaching a high again because i don’t care about the situation or think about it negatively at all anymore. i’m not sure if i’m asking something or just want someone to relate to not really being able to process negative emotions or situations when you’re manic or hypomanic because EVERYTHING just seems so good. i also can tell when i’m higher rather than low because i have a lot of thoughts and ideas about human power and control and essentially have the thought that nothing really matters so i might as well be selfish and have fun because we’re all technically the god of our own universe.",9.975303030303033,6.760724080808082,10.510984848484851,63.786477272727296,60.717171717171716,13.940404040404045,42.93181818181819,12.161744961471696,5.098654545454545,1200,54,225,30,12,414,155,297,0.17,0.76,0.07,-0.9857,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,0,2,21,15,2,1,12,0,27,2,0,1,7,63,48,37,1,8,24,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,13,16,0,1,9,0,0,3,13,6,1,2,18,1,20,9,28,24,9,37,0,2,0,0,8,16,0,16,18,161,33,2,0.10121984926843897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08094547689024635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003828918894394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946268953907196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3702160837521956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576854228757158,0.4128015291139968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352666785303472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104353220047094,0.08718050785600844,0.10273601634637697,0.10505022298738156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385870660774294,0.17930148561774553,0.0,0.0,0.06685475581466978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096987382891514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057525572951595626,0.08489840722314546,0.08095476006917418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906731033399593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21388865621492206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142648893016698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055627782030188234,0.08250768678709668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860534961919633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10196834926972333,0.0,0.10737826443367088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744082357174287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712317528749824,0.0,0.2124264095917411,0.0,0.068589189454583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017309871514672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568547470528352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12968805464746375,0.0,0.0999423898989811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10133872706318099,0.0,0.0,0.09214674922231304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275507030463243,0.0,0.0,0.08576324981432222,0.07792398512125705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083430237678492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19079702009558425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26541182911820005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485759233283525,0.0,0.24107176185678336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09887708491592513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597020896143905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100880050753854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190367678094815,0.0,0.0,0.13036452861151715
bipolarreddit,virtual_girlfriend,2019/04/18,"Bipolar versus ""Trauma"" I have been dxd as Bipolar 1 for the last 5 years, had signs before that.  I am on some meds, but we're always trying to find a better combo, and I do weekly ECT which helps the most.  I have to do therapy, so I have been the the last few months, and my therapist wanted me to meet the Therapy head Counselor Manager person, and had me take this one 1-4 on each question thing  After, my therapist who is still in school to become a social worker, says she doesn't think I'm Bipolar, and the manager comes in and sees the sheet of paper and says something like ""yeah, this is very common for people that think they have Bipolar t's just their Trauma response"" and I'm supposed to hear from the Trauma dept for other info.....but I have been dx'd by more than 1 doctor by this.....this is completely setting me off.  I see my regular Psych tomorrow but wanted to know if anyone had any similar experiences....",7.319289617486341,5.942184535519129,7.815409836065572,75.24584699453555,64.30054644808743,10.537704918032787,31.80874316939891,9.444778638647367,2.7103071038251367,722,21,138,11,9,240,115,183,0.042,0.898,0.06,0.4767,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,2,2,3,5,0,0,10,1,18,6,1,0,0,24,30,12,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,1,8,9,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,6,5,16,2,21,24,5,16,0,0,2,0,12,5,0,4,10,92,24,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393215947918902,0.0,0.0,0.10128606298479234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10414411618134883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16449537961464678,0.1267391668497115,0.0,0.0,0.13172760978416395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830084581911527,0.1561634631150514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15244904356242664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14569442470018587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613082131115206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15285805871484148,0.0,0.1678691143433571,0.0,0.0998330729091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185494769308567,0.2428161663023055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276582201669418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16544163151823346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888454768265475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092734799437478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325803250025133,0.13005091731877766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16684977856578356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23689023810058804,0.0,0.1507378443007422,0.2373759078374597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15182820521663706,0.0,0.11466327603491006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118945738107409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11198628527227238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3406576451965383,0.34586763410204685,0.09895083305957633,0.1908727845745368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112223609654933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228932283951724,0.17570038725979786,0.0,0.1194727549263636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591413931206667
bipolarreddit,Jaym2199,2019/04/18,"Bipolar and pregnant. Hey everyone, im a 20 year old in a bit of a tough and embarrassing situation. Ive been on medication for a couple years but i recently found out i was pregnant and don't really know what to do. My support system is very weak so if anyone has any words of advice or anything useful please message me, or comment and i can message you.",4.217500000000001,5.173940194444448,6.414888888888887,74.719,70.66666666666667,9.093333333333334,32.455555555555556,9.3871,3.0799022222222225,282,13,53,6,5,100,57,72,0.1,0.76,0.14,0.6137,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,1,4,0,8,3,0,1,0,13,12,9,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,7,1,7,9,1,8,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,3,4,35,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246164387132196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15631261752468648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607233899746495,0.0,0.18915511635193769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509474828942626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543356127026167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21964098950652744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25202952137306545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24828814138727034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12632499234542888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23155967164003474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24119930353398655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523171498827818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472541409411554,0.0,0.2269589255261187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583721637951004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608422960518045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19852515597905768,0.0,0.1896584943714594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29604448493071833
bipolarreddit,readingsocks,2019/04/18,"Meds galore... Too many? Zoloft 100
Lamictal 200
Klonopin 4
Vyvanse 10mg
Ativan (new) can’t remember
Abilify (new) can’t remember 

I am quite worried about adding Abilify to my cocktail. I have read a lot about ridiculous weight gain and it gives me anxiety.

When is this going to “enough”. I start Abilify tomorrow and it stresses me out. 

Isn’t it a lot for one person to handle? My poor body...! 

Thanks.",1.7677631578947377,4.521834986842109,3.2108421052631577,85.57889473684213,87.28947368421049,7.2505263157894735,26.02105263157895,8.238735603445708,2.326246315789476,313,14,58,8,10,102,56,76,0.171,0.7490000000000001,0.08,-0.7307,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,4,3,1,1,2,0,6,3,1,0,0,7,10,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,3,2,0,2,2,1,1,3,2,0,1,0,1,7,1,7,10,3,7,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,5,34,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14811724952995162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21506596371960748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20005916416601047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857360401582281,0.11003757837558567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292142205931275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962982750245689,0.0,0.0,0.21506596371960748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3739949657716276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120057607556998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690597802325188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20593658909929144,0.1936704081835849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43866292894607595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370438257229353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22178877903685626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17825745241727065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357745781065787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966284900338542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gamerguyjames,2019/05/08,"is there a connection between being late on your due date has anything to do with mental health? 

I'm a 34 year old living with bipolar disorder and social anxiety, my mother has told me that I was expected to be born on 12/21, I was delivered on 1/31. I've tried doing some research and have had zero success. Could someone please explain if this is actually a thing or is there something else I should be looking at?",8.058333333333334,6.910816530864199,8.33219135802469,71.3923611111111,62.7037037037037,11.062962962962963,38.768518518518526,10.125756701596842,3.9641333333333333,333,15,59,6,4,110,64,81,0.055,0.865,0.08,0.4515,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,0,16,2,0,0,0,11,20,4,0,4,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,6,1,9,11,1,10,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,3,6,45,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.2391386930061632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18746668851767967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016596907448901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195656773874809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28085468643995376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20471231814210614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604824006907331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27643313301032696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21638838273347555,0.0,0.20578479336028435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469581769207448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571443897295794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689972092550942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24980309078187485,0.20763462111056435,0.18865559736957974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16280389996347602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341609091682084,0.0,0.16637651145022214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15780762484579594
bipolarreddit,CantRememb3r,2019/05/08,"Whewh Stumbled upon this sub Reddit  this morning and so relieved I did.  Very pleased to read that I'm not the only person that feels the way I do. Words cannot describe how fucked my life is right now,  but I know that in the end,  everything will be ok.  I hope you guys realize this too...  Hang in there y'all 

- Zach",0.8934725274725288,3.0849296000000024,2.191428571428574,95.89,83.76923076923076,4.945054945054945,20.05494505494506,6.1826913282559595,-0.046890109890109784,244,7,54,2,7,78,53,65,0.0,0.8009999999999999,0.19899999999999998,0.904,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,0,5,4,1,0,3,1,6,2,0,1,0,9,11,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,1,7,3,4,8,0,8,0,0,0,1,4,4,1,1,2,34,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663622148409455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27028149815255137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15206080491053392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780249409609233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2977752307803221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2986980119785033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16527625721784686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21241823779005964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287227490251133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625904660374105,0.0,0.3301170527718593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30081668550992763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568263049454873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481381199182883,0.0,0.23870968486275065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,agingredditor,2019/05/08,"So scared I'm going to end up homeless and alone I have barely any savings and am losing my confidence in my abilities at work. I can't focus because I'm not on a good mix of meds for me. If it doesn't happen soon, I feel like it will happen later... I'm really scared for my future, living in constant dread and fear. As I get older the fear gets greater, I feel like I'm inching towards inevitability :(",2.2885714285714265,3.853028809523813,4.401904761904763,84.87642857142858,76.38095238095238,6.704761904761906,23.904761904761905,7.447530270364453,1.1054476190476188,316,10,64,4,7,109,60,84,0.264,0.605,0.131,-0.9168,0,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,2,10,0,5,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,8,16,6,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,0,2,9,4,11,15,1,14,0,1,0,0,0,7,0,1,8,37,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20155714715792866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13234139366073694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11863237816116365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210304146719624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17236659275641222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4379804455034149,0.19680120808334095,0.2780586781032682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033512629181722,0.0,0.11060128109775824,0.16322953636533238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441857530406892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19015311707799987,0.0,0.17184409180023574,0.0,0.0,0.21771867940771952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161677079690275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12467207409785315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3896768850067748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167831236332687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fountainofrain,2019/02/09,Geodon and depersonalization? I've been on geodon for a few months now and I have been in a constant state of derealization and depersonalization. Am I the only one who has been experiencing this? ,4.476428571428574,7.697111428571433,6.365357142857146,65.01089285714286,77.57142857142857,8.071428571428571,23.035714285714285,8.841846274778883,1.9428571428571435,160,5,29,4,4,55,26,35,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,0,0,3,6,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,2,0,4,3,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,23,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.640961873619423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4734300106222159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4019196469552647,0.4511014287273793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BrittKnee86,2019/02/09,"Fixation Does anyone else get extremely fixated on something and have issues letting it go? For instance, my dog’s collar didn’t fit and I literally freaked out for hours. ",7.590967741935482,8.844505032258066,7.96467741935484,65.56701612903228,63.193548387096776,11.361290322580645,41.30645161290322,11.20814326018867,5.3453096774193565,140,8,21,4,2,46,29,31,0.07200000000000001,0.847,0.081,0.0772,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,4,3,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,12,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588668187999876,0.3793347073150202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239825009099277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3092717664702145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19342495871676804,0.0,0.2104048720756067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645926695744636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38641407114066495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3785755987778199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850138691335676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Fyfeyy,2019/02/09,Doctors appointment I have a doctors appointment on Monday. How do I go about mentioning I feel I may be bipolar without them looking at me like an idiot ,3.5426436781609176,6.279874758620689,5.269655172413792,74.49919540229888,77.27586206896551,8.004597701149425,37.25287356321839,8.841846274778883,4.178508045977011,124,8,19,3,3,42,24,29,0.11900000000000001,0.7909999999999999,0.09,-0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,2,0,4,3,0,1,0,4,7,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,6,1,4,5,0,4,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,1,2,17,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7942857851985998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19618863320251495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22051403424136928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895612354317072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258292137020737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3740261138691551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,GaileoB,2019/02/09,"I don't want to keep taking medicine, it's pointless. I've been taking medicine for the last 7 months, and I'm tired of it. I track my mood multiple times a day and it's pretty much just neutral all the time. I don't really think I need to take medicine, cause I feel like this is just my normal self that's having these neutral emotions. Like, I don't feel empty or emotionless or anything like that, I just feel generally peppy all the time. 

But, I'm afraid that if I do actually quit taking my medicine then something bad will happen and I'll ruin my life at the ripe old age of 21. I also keep having the thoughts of quitting my medicine so I can drink again even though I haven't drank since last May.

So, how do you know if you actually need mood stabilizers or if it's your normal self that's having stable moods on its own. I don't even feel like the same person I was last summer before I started taking my medicine, but I also think I was relatively normal before that summer also.",6.057223466188983,5.391228793103452,6.488060904612628,81.41595163457234,66.48768472906403,8.958172861621136,29.29198387819077,8.00094639256281,1.753112315270935,787,22,163,8,11,256,104,203,0.043,0.89,0.067,0.3149,0,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,3,0,2,13,10,0,1,7,0,17,4,0,2,2,37,40,19,0,9,11,0,4,4,0,2,2,0,0,3,12,3,2,2,8,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,5,4,25,4,8,33,5,17,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,7,19,99,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.2080149158528896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255697811919632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770689317127144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899049181038349,0.0,0.0,0.18138477196335528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094878107273442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06873578001609988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440857974778216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988902187033867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407911879697398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21556176062093094,0.15228264803762387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424902370857484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894677725131792,0.0,0.0,0.05857400435253263,0.26063266026113274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528115044662767,0.20827992421435448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507175448358273,0.0,0.07834912994394994,0.15805658226801902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132795786920919,0.0,0.0,0.11183859023236896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306221812813403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843096047270732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22672353825331404,0.0,0.0,0.06827837098798605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223739768789104,0.0,0.0,0.08816471505452153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205108449555333,0.0,0.0,0.07543841820331802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4006773778389528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365853088852848,0.10471506625812643,0.08461322689808103,0.1864443138153637,0.12249891747191576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062864100082776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,OverworkedEnzyme,2019/09/27,"A question bipolar experiences I fear that I may have bipolar and am currently experiencing an upcycle. I am sorry that this may be a long post but I am curious as to if anyone who certainly has bipolar can attest to any parts of my situation.

I am a 20 year old man who has been diagnosed with depression since I was around 12 but have recently noticed some things about my mood and behavior that may indicate that I perhaps have bipolar. To start, my mom has bipolar and has been in the hospital a couple of times due to it. Since my initial diagnosis of depression, which occurred due to self harm and being Baker acted,  I have been in therapy with a particular company. I have been in this company for a while but I have  seen different therapist within the company. Currently I am a client to the owner of the company and have seen her now for the longest; because of this she has been able to notice a slight pattern of mood that could indicate bipolar but it may just be depression. Presently I have come out of a rather terrible bout of depression that has lasted for more than a month. In this time I picked up a nasty habit of marajuana and, in the final month of it, self harming tendencies. However, now I am out of it and feel great! I feel like I can go back to school and stop smoking and take back up my hobby of being academic by ordering the entire works of Aristotle on amazon along with planning on getting several more books. I am worried that this is more of an upcycle than just an escape from depression.",7.834795918367348,6.989025132653063,8.54991836734694,68.6736530612245,62.97959183673471,12.874013605442181,38.98775510204082,12.10132525352546,4.904977142857144,1215,57,220,37,15,411,144,294,0.16699999999999998,0.773,0.06,-0.9902,4,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,2,9,14,0,1,21,0,39,7,0,1,1,37,48,16,0,3,8,1,2,1,0,4,7,0,0,3,20,17,0,1,3,1,0,3,0,9,0,0,8,5,24,3,48,31,5,40,0,5,2,0,10,13,0,7,23,179,44,4,0.11798425164009388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023333696764634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824973320172437,0.0,0.0,0.10503099807362076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814452135560144,0.0,0.07192210470956957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163298574834244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420082446868228,0.13054733034343236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5080983152679768,0.11975153186570905,0.0,0.12326843129601135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154112375069068,0.0,0.13276508466957787,0.11931276531868022,0.08428797294605123,0.0,0.1292459806470636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06164190186154377,0.0,0.06705316915521135,0.0,0.0,0.13007805395420158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617291223497383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05764114573660336,0.0,0.0,0.10441234995360432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13818172955849775,0.18834780804740767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686517049732029,0.12380462500890345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776544704483225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299629921173475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13216936380137193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649521476841865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940636153834855,0.0,0.0,0.2461666117395667,0.13328862147125686,0.0,0.19519558434460169,0.13261924218982704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13207371019813166,0.08350986057246898,0.0,0.0,0.098640117356191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870947391206492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349252741799361,0.13698880978954964,0.07838349421568826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13759513187111386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589394037964343,0.1198187346323782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597798979058222
bipolarreddit,ilovechadscock,2019/09/27,"My sister drives me nuts sometimes My sister every once in a while will say she had a manic episode once. I asked her to describe it and it clearly wasn’t a manic episode. It drives me nuts hearing her make that claim. I don’t talk to her about my bipolar anymore.

She was misdiagnosed as bipolar several years ago, but one of her doctors rescinded the diagnosis because she didn’t appear manic or hypomanic. She has ADHD-PH (her most recent and accurate diagnosis), so my suspicion is the doctor who thought she was bipolar initially just didn’t know how to tell the difference between a person with ADHD-PH and someone with bipolar. Because this happened she says she doesn’t have bipolar, but had “a manic episode once.” I swear she does this because she wants attention. She’s the type who loves being the center of attention. I’ve considered calling her out, but I don’t see any good coming from it. Anyone have similar annoying people in their lives?",5.144812450119712,7.0797758715083825,5.810953711093379,76.17370111731844,69.61452513966479,8.466241021548285,33.4561053471668,9.04235418022936,3.22690550678372,767,37,128,15,14,249,103,179,0.068,0.87,0.062,0.198,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,0,4,3,1,0,10,0,16,8,0,2,1,22,27,11,0,1,5,2,0,0,0,1,7,3,0,1,9,7,0,0,4,0,0,4,6,1,0,1,8,4,27,2,14,17,1,12,0,0,1,1,30,4,0,3,4,89,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34627938836369426,0.0,0.12770608094300445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979700230595556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14287505610315038,0.10073450545052498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13468254135083682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26346443472978004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14710779809956154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410035944774045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15051861873145453,0.0,0.29491592175836906,0.1260733884515422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213820698111619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12083597579988738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273973517636109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16237318855680255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917506986360391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12721318077907065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13002545890198938,0.0,0.09616537278059477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4602777174894542,0.0976230521649687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09987743157370883,0.12579313474302994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422480892424068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291346055457089,0.0,0.0,0.11480218738539875,0.0,0.0,0.16275391019048718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220669070014996,0.0,0.14248525274322552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11579503340568252,0.12592029465694232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437254845546295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497403534186017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927739726792567
bipolarreddit,risyelis18,2019/09/27,"Pet owners, how do you feel with your pet? My feelings after adopting a dog.

I have bipolar disorder and anxiety. I believed that I found a way to change my life and have a stable mood without drop and downs. I took a lot of different pills with dosage.

But I always look for ways to handle it. It's not my life already.

I found one research. This review suggests that pets provide benefits to those with mental health conditions. ([Link](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5800290/) to it). I always dreamed to adopt a dog. But I like traveling and my parents live in another state. So, I understood the disadvantage of adopting a pet. I can't take him with me.

However, a few months ago, I found a solution like an Emotional Support Animal. Unlike a service animal, an emotional support animal doesn’t need to be trained to perform specific tasks. So, I need to prove my depression by a doctor or a service. I've checked all info that I fit this program and able to travel with my dog across the US.

I adopted my Dexter next day. Everything was in my hands. Found [a service](https://www.takeyourpeteverywhere.com/) where I can take an ESA letter and visit a vet center with him and get approved him to be my Emotional support.

How do I feel now after adopting him?

I don't feel loneliness and anxiety has dropped down. I feel happy when I saw him and take care of him. It's like parenting. I don't have ups and downs.

Yes, you have to walk with him, to feed him but you have to break your negative thoughts and adopt a pet: cat, dog, bird, etc. You will feel happy.

What is your story with your pet?",3.4258830022075064,6.006057658940398,4.160503311258278,83.16369094922737,76.71523178807948,7.602825607064017,26.954083885209712,8.548686976883017,2.205530772626932,1271,51,233,27,30,405,157,302,0.049,0.8059999999999999,0.146,0.95,4,0,0,0,0,0,68.0,1,8,0,2,7,12,0,0,19,1,18,8,1,2,2,45,43,20,0,2,6,2,7,3,0,1,6,0,6,0,11,19,1,0,14,3,1,5,7,1,0,1,9,9,47,10,36,31,4,29,0,1,2,0,23,10,0,2,11,160,58,6,0.09748339766820048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641315022121716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757535340510364,0.0,0.16222799218422015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221984218913037,0.14914906478476078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983040685743653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993908208506108,0.0,0.10312450889570543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286872689571453,0.0,0.08396230756779917,0.0,0.0,0.10184940227972586,0.11172441929325973,0.09977838823864826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3289671044103329,0.0,0.0,0.1087197569724589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761179205841077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29574320945646665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4275420556360995,0.0,0.0,0.05093105180277328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075457790284268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036202931921108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377108133992418,0.14287639207220726,0.0,0.08607962611965865,0.0,0.081861502220212,0.0,0.0,0.08287689865821421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982403365097177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07781031797289421,0.0,0.0,0.14456540832664785,0.0,0.0,0.10367469934516554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06605727315013392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164875534564261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3318690133300398,0.0,0.0,0.21988614926387312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07739092874736557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10830764168874152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726052458067117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475556718070274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09397051664898716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Mechageno,2019/09/27,"Really should be stopping wellbutrin I’ve been on it for a year or so now, and since I’ve been taking it I’ve been experiencing worse social anxiety, general agitation, sometimes can’t sit still. I tried stopping it for a day and ended up feeling horrible and couldn’t relax at all. I haven’t taken it today but im so scared how I’ll end up feeling like i think im addicted to this stuff. I’ve been having really elevated moods and the wellbutrin seems to make me spike into hypomania so it’s just bad for me. I just want off without any crap withdrawal symptoms. The only benefit from it is increased sex drive and better focus(i have adhd) I’m just worrying how bad itll be without it but i also worry about how I’ll feel on it and tbh im just done. I just started CPAP therapy cus i have sleep apnea and i just want to continue sleeping good. Screw this med man. I’m going to do my best to avoid it.",1.0343819655521784,3.350260563829785,3.718449848024317,84.34833333333334,84.31914893617022,6.772441742654508,23.314083080040522,7.957251820313856,1.5237529888551165,718,27,144,15,21,252,111,188,0.182,0.654,0.16399999999999998,-0.4313,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,16,13,2,2,4,0,17,7,3,4,1,37,31,17,0,4,11,0,3,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,13,8,0,3,5,1,0,3,5,6,0,0,6,4,11,6,19,20,3,22,0,0,0,2,2,7,2,2,12,90,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392779694097448,0.15354347665207055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217014764864336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688162480204288,0.0,0.0977365494691298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21334961654931991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407692259687276,0.11299391478031895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239505148988413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13074350506250634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263160334953017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937988740520384,0.0912722356765063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260932306330678,0.10715957375709298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4140102856264673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062417401373532265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528122762401767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419132833543264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716773334463928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16369349098483488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279107011823457,0.0,0.0,0.11630849968493627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056849319933046,0.0,0.25570583943820674,0.13023589594927795,0.0,0.0,0.12635855215769226,0.0,0.09042964742266536,0.0,0.10202982212470432,0.21362725247301811,0.0,0.0,0.14625538064855426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13279223663160075,0.0960601106734789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14610544058937766,0.0,0.0,0.08186386737539585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110215991262055,0.0,0.0,0.08674109662059945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507130860222238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24631341972830995,0.0,0.0,0.2594942885345431,0.13019901979928314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227367141492148
bipolarreddit,Realsadgirl,2019/09/27,"Feel myself slipping It’s been a hard mental health year. 

I feel like it’s gonna get so much worse before we find the right meds. I’m already trying my 8th. 

The last 2 weeks, I couldn’t get out of bed. If I was awake, I was wishing I died in my sleep, or the repercussions of my death.

You know all I could think of? My roommate wouldn’t be able to make rent and I’d feel so bad.

That was what kept me alive. Not hoping it’ll get better or not actually wanting to go. I was just being considerate. My usual pushover self. (She said I complain too much, as if this is something in my control)

I’m hurting over someone who’s moved on...I’m really hurt. 

Idk. I cry so much. Sometimes I wonder how tears still come out. 

Isn’t it surreal, when you’re crying and screaming so hard..sometimes I think, omg that girls in pain..someone help her. But I’m that girl. 

I wish I could use the coping mechanism I wrote down when I was maniac and moving a mile a minute. 

That abnormal shit.

I want to be alone, but I want someone to hold me, or at least be in the same room as me. 

I hate myself. I hate how I am. I hate being stuck in this body, with this brain. This fucking brain. 


I’m hurting. I’m hurting. I’m hurting...

& I want it to end.",-0.6285463150777559,1.521389180076632,1.5095706558485489,97.91234787018259,92.06513409961686,4.296641875140861,17.63815641199009,5.900188976854957,-0.4626818571106601,940,26,220,8,34,312,146,261,0.225,0.71,0.065,-0.9907,1,1,1,0,0,1,50.0,1,1,0,2,11,17,6,0,8,0,19,7,5,5,1,48,55,20,2,13,10,0,4,1,0,3,1,2,3,3,15,8,0,3,9,0,1,4,5,14,0,0,10,6,37,3,21,34,6,25,0,5,0,1,12,13,2,7,9,128,52,0,0.08945929894273161,0.0,0.08729937110909143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926528541917306,0.09872056092969393,0.0,0.0,0.0969291130287494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469477789976771,0.0,0.0,0.07612327441155901,0.0,0.0,0.07911948008202882,0.0,0.09936911397005277,0.0,0.199732327173144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706126477148975,0.0,0.0,0.10033621064286197,0.14285194167272902,0.0,0.19653367840706415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284462850073673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923438593656959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13569992848987106,0.06390974103950059,0.0,0.0,0.08176417854180741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270368034461706,0.14021637420353214,0.0,0.050841781179507516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16027592051125195,0.26496761067024555,0.0,0.09509105147070993,0.0,0.0,0.05996268236022333,0.0,0.0,0.08885326912348783,0.0,0.0,0.4788401487971182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04916449113614127,0.07292126861190278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04370529469968724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05971477670711418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09936911397005277,0.0,0.0901539322826069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19016215436120215,0.19728863412531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519100142461487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057309917638981786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07639775249978778,0.08509627926786383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09332555914541088,0.0,0.0918286848000446,0.0,0.0,0.0895239053785466,0.0,0.22739572106333605,0.06887013891202381,0.17695506824542495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144231169495288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464381310866195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06073699171950653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726411132283459,0.09852677907086227,0.0,0.2110616493077447,0.0,0.07175885351013113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20574755766622665,0.0,0.09701479362519083,0.0,0.0,0.0911666683443675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0576088554807915
bipolarreddit,ddbot12,2019/09/27,Been taking 75mg of Seroquel everyday for 2 weeks looking to stop Would I experience withdrawl symptoms if I just stopped cold turkey. I really haven't been taking it that long.,4.765454545454546,7.345152212121214,5.5060606060606085,75.17909090909096,72.33333333333334,8.036363636363637,32.21212121212121,8.841846274778883,3.1954121212121214,145,7,23,3,3,47,29,33,0.141,0.8590000000000001,0.0,-0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,5,7,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,3,4,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,14,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071714750280629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778975101490923,0.2636974195736817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20116902982387946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5250689794124969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32638665411316803,0.4722073957295836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518876232355277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22307055091717384,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BabycakesLucia,2019/09/27,"Relationship ended because of my partners mental health, he was officially diagnosed with bipolar yesterday. Advice? Partner and I were together for two years,  basically he was exhibiting some pretty dark mental issues due to past trauma (abusive parents, death of sibling) that gradually got worse and worse and worse. 

We had moments where we were just SO unbelievably happy, and moments he was really really god damn miserable to be around e.g. self destructive with drugs, gambling, pushing me away, saying he didn't love me anymore.

It was always either REALLY UP or REALLY DOWN. 

We broke up because i couldnt handle it anymore and he refused to get help. Since breaking up he has seen a psychiatrist and been officially diagnosed with bipolar, hes taking sodium valproate and loxalate from what i recall him saying. 

We still chat a little and hes starting to take his medications, but i want to honestly ask, did your bipolar ruin your relationships? Did medication bring you back together? Will he be okay?

He's pretty apologetic about not being good enough and ruining the relationship,  and i feel really bad, like i gave up on him. 

I'm just a little lost i guess. 

Tl;dr = partner and i broke up a few weeks ago due to him ignoring his mental health, now hes been diagnosed with bipolar, i feel lost.",5.818933930571108,8.103728259574469,6.8081522956326985,68.28105263157896,68.53191489361703,9.883538633818588,32.36842105263157,10.186864033877496,3.948489361702128,1051,47,160,29,19,350,142,235,0.204,0.703,0.09300000000000001,-0.981,1,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,4,3,0,2,10,18,2,1,5,1,21,13,0,0,0,34,38,14,1,2,6,1,2,1,3,1,12,2,0,4,4,20,0,2,2,1,1,2,3,12,0,1,17,5,27,6,24,16,4,29,0,7,1,1,39,12,1,3,15,104,31,0,0.0,0.11509638599165405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949252140096165,0.08610977420888981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082922414923605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926758495801868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647622454035367,0.0908138683762131,0.0,0.09126731436471658,0.07469555329867493,0.0811088082145533,0.11843269492535935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2957886875856871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126529014387672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860382317697086,0.100372782288208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823497513559358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050752244996633146,0.0,0.0,0.08147739336768954,0.07769265698714778,0.0,0.10701193584164063,0.0,0.0,0.10340856758719284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065130139889475,0.0,0.0,0.06511166965529805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139012947855597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04745826235020492,0.19472191772315225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21208209524656896,0.0,0.08767368652127533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957189911152586,0.2936863141802258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786375857982948,0.0,0.0927322257741294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19765495838004693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3111555619597387,0.0,0.0,0.3128797445396603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545010934584227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10133941208578948,0.0,0.0,0.08035616861051607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687570106601911,0.0,0.07757705318363749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14607612087051206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489279488566114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05729637103319645,0.0,0.07792077640099054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969854128849115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255571998515798
bipolarreddit,swinty22,2019/09/27,"Thank god for meds Im not sure if i would have been able to go to work this week without them. On Monday I went to a work event where people were quite literally screaming at me and my coworkers because I work in politics and we honestly deserved it, but the decisions that led to their hurt were out of my hands. 

Ive been ruminating and fantasizing about being fired since then. I've also been doing all of the things i learned in DBT and they help a lot. But every night just when i think I'll never sleep my meds kick in and i do. And in the morning when i think i cant face work they kick in too. 

Meds are just one part but this week im so greatful",2.902949640287769,3.771071992805759,4.177762589928059,89.86750719424464,73.67625899280577,7.5743884892086335,23.971942446043162,7.908726449838941,0.9303749640287764,513,14,119,7,10,169,91,139,0.094,0.841,0.065,-0.7244,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,4,5,9,6,0,0,5,0,13,3,3,1,3,26,18,15,0,2,8,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,8,0,0,4,0,0,3,4,2,0,1,6,3,18,4,17,10,3,21,0,1,0,0,6,9,0,2,9,82,23,5,0.14756946600219764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11801124864657787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995697678467628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433363972573135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386712826872747,0.0,0.0,0.1626958572334028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891270243043293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15797616545964396,0.0,0.31880069265975725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12545828286102542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.491749228721078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381466954990395,0.0,0.0,0.13848394721328078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999968892908872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15980335114089772,0.0,0.10230608699733157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15695829177795256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207098721780255,0.0,0.147676038905699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13908247529417686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13586213771179104,0.0,0.0,0.0980385960329702,0.18911311044066192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367426487479834,0.0,0.0,0.13679837341925238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14225169919744388,0.0,0.4297293151738297,0.0,0.0,0.10482911467314003,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,logoutnerd,2019/09/27,"Just got bloodwork results for lithium levels! They're middle normal. My doctor raised my lithium by 300 mg, the first time it's been raised in 10 years. 

 However, my employer somehow determined that I couldn't go back to work until my doctor raised my lithium levels and he saw a copy of my blood work. Fortunately I have an appointment on Tuesday to figure out how to move forward with my employer in this situation.

 The past month and a 1/2 have probably been the toughest I have experienced. I'm also dealing with slightly blurry vision after I take my night time dose.  

 So I haven't been able to work to pay for my doctor's visits, but I have my meds and I have a great doctor. Grateful for that, and for good blood work!",4.253346228239845,5.952486404255318,5.226112185686656,80.4245454545455,71.48226950354609,7.68046421663443,27.711798839458407,8.296473431620573,1.9999021276595743,577,21,105,9,11,189,85,141,0.025,0.851,0.125,0.9497,3,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,5,6,2,0,0,7,0,10,7,2,2,0,15,15,9,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,1,0,1,4,2,0,0,1,5,2,17,2,19,9,0,22,0,0,1,0,3,8,0,1,12,69,21,11,0.15310583619059676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12243868188600518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772893737131004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15784539425779834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6268412439633938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13023174604956894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701357503249574,0.12841791133947564,0.12245272368593398,0.16879972491121653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17006606876768673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220761773245345,0.16272727373995774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436794555910913,0.1500112120197527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14615684493039735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16507398687358227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17209737476129985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11511653455891535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785544886545128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4458514889138507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985951387347246
bipolarreddit,ChoiceRegular,2019/09/27,"Intrusive thoughts (Call of the Void) Do your intrusive thoughts and occurrences of the Call of the Void increase during manic or hypomanic episodes? Mine really have, in an odd way. I've always struggled with the standard ""What if I ran my car into that overpass"" thoughts when I'm predisposed in a given moment to that sort of thinking. But this time, I was riding my bike and had the thought to slam it into the light pole in front of me or the retaining wall beside me.

But it was stronger this time, and I almost acted on it - which was distressing. I've never been that close to carrying it out. It wasn't a suicidal ideation thing; when the images flashed through my head, it was just of surface injuries, bruises, wrecked bike, etc.",7.080161870503599,7.242466467625903,6.551717625899283,79.03678507194245,64.17985611510791,9.827697841726616,36.79946043165468,9.516144504307137,3.4008194244604315,585,27,108,10,8,181,88,139,0.071,0.8690000000000001,0.06,-0.1306,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,2,11,0,9,1,1,0,1,24,17,10,1,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,14,8,0,1,5,2,0,6,2,2,0,0,13,1,10,0,18,4,2,23,0,0,0,0,3,10,0,5,6,75,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027865107057484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16850620316172854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41357477922760455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258544066216568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20783573210499712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561897354055389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12973436993947712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21170950777493755,0.0,0.22151525406061726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13453997129259385,0.12976150964658478,0.0,0.6430876145009415,0.23617274627998386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16074459587805062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RoniMarie13,2019/09/27,"A way to quiet my mind Hi all. 

I just wanted to share a way that I quiet my mind a lot of the time. My mind is super overactive a night. Not sure if it’s bipolar, anxiety, or just me, but I feel like at night is when my mind is the most active and when I can be the most productive.  I’ve done a lot of trial and error over the years trying to find something that helps. 
Music- anything with words I end up singing to. Anything remotely fast paced keys me up at night too. 
Reading- I get too involved in the book and can’t put it down
Yoga- okay if I do mostly easy stationary poses, but can cause me to feel more awake. 

Anyhow, I’ve found meditation helps me. It sounds hokey but it’s actually helps me.  I also listen to nature sounds or really boring stories to help me sleep.  I’ve used “Relax Melodies” in the past because it’s free and because you can create a custom set of sounds, plus they have meditations you can add to the sounds. 
Right now my favorite is Breethe.  It’s not free, unfortunately, but they have a ton of playlists for sleep, they have meditations for so many different things (sleep related and not), and they have bedtime stories.  The bedtime story that literally bores me to sleep is the art of bread making, where the narrator is reading text from an old book about making bread. 

Any who, I just wanted to share what’s been helping me get more sleep.",3.3622362309223632,4.999630014598541,4.340265428002656,86.12794293297947,73.67153284671532,7.171599203715992,24.49834107498341,7.84624498591911,1.203239416058394,1080,33,220,15,22,350,144,274,0.043,0.76,0.198,0.9932,1,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,2,4,1,12,11,0,0,18,1,19,8,5,4,2,46,30,19,0,4,14,0,2,1,0,0,1,7,0,0,12,9,2,0,4,8,2,1,4,2,0,0,3,9,28,11,29,26,9,26,0,0,0,0,17,10,0,10,13,143,40,4,0.0,0.0,0.098635534883033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083039091597499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06873510372437484,0.0,0.07732281573612065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16635376911135513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12322990702184262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10383283073701616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560284205166433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343577715351836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952327993538449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221406225604797,0.07220867013795458,0.0,0.0,0.09238157597567276,0.0,0.0,0.11082454869931617,0.0,0.0,0.10561601145741896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33874535248548315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04938059765100985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17186229556258012,0.0,0.0,0.1349379466563808,0.10247513640181244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4082315345421196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28455876157263243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606219388551433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964884195810662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160923481897778,0.0,0.0,0.2022065807060562,0.0,0.06475183393199553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631829858500985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5057446680112103,0.0,0.0,0.0778131950179515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526287516250044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06715036179246574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058938192144144384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06862392694620434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08729715747970995,0.0,0.0,0.1192344137665644,0.16045874940645224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06508959001831181
bipolarreddit,T3LE-Paradise,2019/09/27,"hey, 14m here, diagnosed back in march 2019 after a suicide attempt in februrary 2019. Anyone have any good songs for me to listen to to help cope with my depressive phase atm? I already have
Sam smith - i’m not the only one
Mxmtoon - unspoken words
Joji - pills
Joji - SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK
And somethin else but i forgot about it tonight so yea. I need some more songs to get a good cry out to cope. Having some issues with the gf rn doesn’t help either :(. Maybe even some jokes from someone? or like a meme link, by god i feel like shit",1.7521464646464653,3.99732089814815,2.6613131313131326,93.46954545454548,80.75925925925927,5.0383838383838375,20.929292929292927,6.1124844417494595,0.1110444444444445,419,12,87,3,11,132,83,108,0.11,0.703,0.187,0.8229,0,0,1,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,0,1,5,7,1,0,6,1,4,3,1,0,0,16,10,4,1,1,4,0,1,2,1,0,2,3,0,0,1,4,0,1,2,4,1,1,2,2,0,1,1,4,6,5,16,9,5,10,0,1,0,0,5,4,1,4,7,47,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459447951382219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15156060326890214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558372851131728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17137481168141824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448144278070425,0.0,0.0,0.19195932786138592,0.2262103895698711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18618095850326774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472048546874417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269078024681957,0.1592198020277752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644142180631653,0.0,0.0,0.3738689206530941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2987728086254731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326204650531772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177680039525991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22390488101138087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652567647213696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15102383583272044,0.1695041997377456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22877490624312385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18883872317831196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437857954760623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,_SoigneWest,2019/09/27,Finally back on mood stabilizer Finally back on mood stabilizers after going a month without them. I feel kind of funky and nauseated. I don’t know what that’s about or if it’s even related to getting back used to the mood stabilizers. Just kind of wanted to vent to other people who might understand. I just feel like shit.,3.564247311827959,6.088186822580648,5.378709677419359,74.9047311827957,75.93548387096773,9.29462365591398,26.46236559139785,9.725611199111238,2.9625720430107534,261,10,47,8,6,89,45,62,0.08900000000000001,0.87,0.042,-0.4201,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,7,7,1,0,2,0,2,1,1,1,0,13,10,3,0,2,5,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,2,4,3,11,9,0,10,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,3,8,33,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4711849797969012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13491036751820126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20655778793833884,0.145921831541164,0.0,0.4475089281699689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671628353281634,0.0,0.11608442950728615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4254061869921824,0.11225475923835974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997900562088481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21668527454309264,0.0,0.0,0.16303664779453514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416066579286514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20966772288682506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21263960016340788,0.0,0.17641317979461044,0.0,0.0,0.12047655777563465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19689725508265465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,zsmith0919,2019/09/27,I’m over it I’m over this. I’m over everything. I just wanna be “normal” and that’s not possible. My girlfriend helps to a point but there’s only so much she can do. I just wanna lay in bed and cry all day but I can’t. I have kids to take care of. And I got suspended from my job because I screamed fuck you to a manager because I was pissed off. I don’t wanna be like that. I wanna be able to keep a job. I wanna be able to be happy all the time for my family. For my sanity. But I just can’t. I just don’t wanna feel alone anymore I wanna feel like I belong. I wanna feel like everything is okay and I just fucking can’t and I’m so tired and exhausted and drained and no matter what I do I just feel alone and depressed. I just wanna feel something. But everything has vanished,-1.2585526315789473,0.7808067192982442,1.7489839181286548,95.21365131578949,95.84210526315788,4.955263157894739,17.066520467836256,6.6274283507984215,-0.05305672514619842,603,17,140,9,24,211,80,171,0.244,0.626,0.129,-0.9768,2,2,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,10,12,3,0,4,1,17,5,1,0,2,40,32,15,0,10,12,0,5,3,1,0,2,1,1,1,5,9,0,1,5,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,2,6,25,6,23,25,3,8,0,1,0,2,5,6,3,0,5,102,30,3,0.281896839802764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919601103969663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397829585719353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17184169707189426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14370630780921906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15482522083375164,0.09090007046454288,0.0,0.12139866752731746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3800260542023453,0.0,0.13287362619489032,0.0,0.3563387806415002,0.2013871586807465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606090859724955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272932727833497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15004221391023942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09447475479471806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27973911610829405,0.12528143179704904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20658083515237516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036133063605667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380995253202107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071976247140524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324181536228208,0.15889816554956138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850897975684536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10597567051855117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08218815712166329,0.16199947432645986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mirandatoritess,2019/09/27,"Bipolar remission? I have a question. So my friend had been diagnosed several times bipolar I w/th psychotic features years ago and have had 8 hospitalizations as a result. They had their most recent manic episode right before their pregnancy. They had to go off their medication more recently due to pregnancy and extended breastfeeding. They have now been med free for three years. However, despite the statistics and all saying that bipolar 1 people relapse off meds, their symptoms have been very very mild. Will the bipolar 1 come back? Why did their symptoms remit for such a long time? 3 years???",5.307465034965034,8.546768173076927,5.116503496503498,75.2194055944056,74.0,8.781818181818181,32.531468531468526,9.339509955726095,3.7908961538461536,486,24,74,13,11,150,72,104,0.0,0.922,0.078,0.8289,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,8,0,4,2,0,0,5,0,13,8,0,1,1,8,15,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,8,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,8,1,11,3,7,6,3,17,0,0,0,0,11,3,0,2,12,48,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15489554727240534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13436347631043852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14868998711014306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505221439058886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773563688965503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350028891098229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993081793534854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546384832596021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3881911909220218,0.17603112143145794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211419950368409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957476290947628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3450672899670331,0.0,0.0,0.1492261193734519,0.0,0.1389594366335987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19740529036303794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3632413771620943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037833887074532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883558887154487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15767473491402062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33757848877694724
bipolarreddit,lilac_blaire,2019/09/27,"Some of my favourite coworkers were having a conversation about people being on “too many medications” and how they don’t like to take meds It just felt really hurtful because I probably wouldn’t even show up to half my shifts if it weren’t for my meds. They’re honestly keeping me alive and able to work some days. It just reminded me how many people have stupid preconceived notions about medications and what they are for. 

It all started as a conversation about allergy meds, but they also lumped in prescribed Adderall and some other psych meds, saying that people become too reliant on medications and low-key shaming another coworker (behind her back) for what she takes. 


(I know I could have said something, but I didn’t feel like I could jump in without getting defensive/revealing something I wasn’t comfortable with. Personal information can get passed around the store really quickly and I could not deal with that). 

Has anyone else had experience with something like this?",9.918908045977012,9.736409396551727,8.836206896551728,66.14614942528738,58.48275862068965,12.560919540229886,39.44827586206897,11.855464076750405,4.915062068965517,801,35,127,21,9,249,113,174,0.026000000000000002,0.867,0.106,0.9136,1,0,3,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,3,1,14,8,1,1,3,0,17,4,0,2,1,32,27,13,0,5,7,0,2,3,0,1,4,2,0,1,10,10,0,1,4,1,1,2,7,3,0,1,7,4,17,5,22,15,4,12,0,1,0,0,12,6,0,4,7,94,27,2,0.11493722581684525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191525796005523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052170283029533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036678071474908,0.1177667705023044,0.0,0.10231849908394083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883796320016085,0.0,0.07006466604918843,0.12693913575548962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27530406686269826,0.0,0.0,0.0741250021324139,0.1184952329405179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960153037472874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591495365323274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11243066157335466,0.0,0.0,0.058115714850223474,0.08211117708909788,0.1103577613481158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12009991326049885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12304267742517955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216148735253708,0.0,0.0,0.06316649344080373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684575684917502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233056613734696,0.0,0.0,0.5106773885588889,0.3473614890031109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23904900130508705,0.10035875224780076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239217692665666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14726345998828413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933162211169392,0.09140269521200367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654528752758102,0.0,0.0,0.08135316001181776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172836979400049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079538414297076,0.0,0.08367566929041602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,daltonminor,2019/03/03,Meds that wake you up? Are there any meds which wake you up? (Apart from stimulants). I'm having trouble with sleeping too much :(,1.1950000000000005,3.7673618333333367,1.0083333333333364,98.52000000000002,97.33333333333334,4.066666666666666,18.5,5.985473137389443,-0.16929999999999978,100,3,20,1,4,29,20,24,0.213,0.787,0.0,-0.7149,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,3,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,13,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581455544176042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8433148734083932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.279054582229045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3798808196784705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LeftistUU,2019/03/03,"Making the Ativan to Klonopin switch. Any feelings about Klonopin? I'd been taking Ativan as needed for anxiety and sleep for several years now. But it's become clear that it's not that great for sleep- the half life isn't long enough for me to stay asleep, so I go to bed at 10 and wake up at 2:30, 4:30, 6:30 etc. My partner gave me some of her Klonopin as a test, and the next day my psychiatrist approved the switch. I'll be taking 1.5mg to start with.

Anything I should know about it? I've had at least some little memory problems (partner said she cut me a check for rent and it was a bookmark in a book I was reading, I don't remember her ever giving it to me). But I'm wondering what people's experiences are.",2.685585585585589,4.207227108108114,3.810540540540541,89.7099099099099,75.21621621621622,6.825225225225225,23.819819819819823,7.492282038375204,0.8965927927927924,564,17,122,7,12,183,98,148,0.07,0.8740000000000001,0.055,-0.2676,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,5,3,1,0,8,0,9,5,4,1,2,20,22,9,0,3,3,0,1,0,2,1,1,1,2,2,8,5,0,0,4,2,2,1,3,2,0,1,6,2,13,1,21,14,5,15,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,3,7,75,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367842704808606,0.0,0.13913071643159688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14966422819201186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20086208514662032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729166423894175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879212240806224,0.2028340935248402,0.0,0.16451261266279918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17790460746115005,0.0,0.0,0.09195937561042887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744671091070764,0.10336140565921992,0.0,0.0,0.20051327433905752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999514728724743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284607728265964,0.0,0.18228238920781584,0.0,0.16094999528516932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140021682720975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348549443520744,0.0,0.0,0.1934217316955928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12608636038729934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17402585874650636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18192008511968205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060242401541109,0.0,0.1730008437438686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205462313671688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3640044264916215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287291366526709,0.193850146897255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734885176751801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19723119855762666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11711887630155494
bipolarreddit,RemiReed,2019/03/03,"I feel so ashamed I don’t have a diagnosis for bipolar, but I’ve been having delusions of grandeur that I some how have powers, that everyone is talking about me sometimes people can read my mind. 

I wanted to kill myself because a friend was off sick and it made me so sad I felt personally attacked.

I feel like people are always mean to me.

But sometimes I feel amazing I talk really fast I keep changing to different subjects.

I tried to talk to my doctor about it and he just gave me pills for anxiety called venlafaxine also known as vanlablue xl and Effexor ",4.113720693170237,6.084767385321102,5.047094801223242,80.44864424057086,72.39449541284405,7.780224260958207,30.45973496432212,8.515128840125781,2.519977777777778,451,20,81,8,9,147,76,109,0.195,0.669,0.13699999999999998,-0.8118,2,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,0,1,7,7,2,1,2,0,9,4,0,2,0,18,18,10,1,1,3,0,4,1,1,0,4,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,6,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,5,4,17,3,12,13,1,2,0,1,0,0,8,1,0,1,2,55,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13897217048437302,0.14459926336593093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329415756751979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19770036016891468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10593495499245646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774492787237094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838366834295672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18156359264047214,0.0,0.1778716637602792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16605467602006913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636058651599397,0.12414879481769772,0.1668564933039642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342623517425335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15446405691929768,0.19226233045312116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490035440395337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16443527238670558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892978656205348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17546872461145116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24095497889970924,0.15173839400028094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17382748671941894,0.0,0.11132821210437348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3437466355242273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4190344513970555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11798552458800803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250021736747766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,GreyWolfXx,2019/03/03,"Where I end and bipolar begins: passion? I'm not sure when I began having bipolar symptoms. But for most of my life, I've been very cyclic. I don't think I was stable for most of my adolescence. It is very scary for me to look back on my life. And think of how most of the times I really felt like MYSELF were when I was most likely manic. 

I used to be very goal-oriented, loved to learn, passionate about my hobbies. Just passionate, passionate, passionate.
But not always. I would slip into depressive phases and either lose interest in things or stop entirely.

When I think of myself, I think of someone is incredibly passionate. But that doesnt describe me at all. I feel like a husk who used to be someone. I still like the same things. But I never learn, or do anything anymore.

I used to write essays for fun. I used to practice Japanese religiously. I used to be so passionate. 

The scary thing is. I think my passion and vigor was never me. It was mania.

I'm scared that I was never anything but manic or depressed. I'm scared that's all I'll be. Or a husk.

The only moments where I feel like myself are when I'm passionate and working hard. But I haven't felt a single flicker of that passion since I had my manic episode. 

I just feel blank. Sometimes depressed. Sometimes stable. Mostly bored. And I'm scared to feel passion sometimes. Because then...its mania. It must be mania. 

I dont know how to separate who *I* am from bipolar disorder. Is the me that I appreciate just my manic self? Is this passionless, semi-depressed, stay at home, jobless, college drop out...ME?


TL;DR: My identity is being passionate, being hardworking, a love of learning. I'm scared the past me was just manic and that I will never have that kind of passion again (unless manic). What separates ME from bipolar? I am currently a husk of my old self.",1.4420591417237674,4.122540282485876,3.14744680851064,85.91214028128384,88.26553672316385,5.837624714508955,23.351123933165045,7.295548434001253,1.3824435148455343,1436,56,262,25,47,474,153,354,0.13699999999999998,0.69,0.17300000000000001,0.9315,2,0,0,0,0,0,68.0,0,0,0,2,17,34,0,4,11,0,35,22,0,7,8,65,63,25,0,2,18,0,7,5,0,3,7,0,1,2,17,8,0,1,15,0,0,0,10,9,0,0,12,8,45,25,32,41,10,29,0,4,1,15,7,7,0,9,25,189,62,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109504072528514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473604390530179,0.0,0.0,0.14062386599840532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570004178145007,0.0,0.052084981376152896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29436614954307394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792455707204084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001380244614351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567673271619257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17280926871245758,0.12208034008061025,0.16407648158902818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07653973621428478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570583753757692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897526064451669,0.04695698730871572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12070119040631952,0.20871455405222852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07175021715820873,0.0955883506506656,0.0,0.0,0.1542304625430421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635942271839244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965757626128458,0.0,0.0,0.06498290440489883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156457565132247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05473668115033042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3421715658556947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17827041407730132,0.0,0.0,0.07067895479665462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14479037941508655,0.0,0.2535145803951518,0.0,0.0,0.09107038271723014,0.06823452548864341,0.07143379210307166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052858593487598,0.08880751790450295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17029268760590238,0.2737406587947416,0.0,0.0,0.049822234137168624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3689746208049838,0.0,0.2114971395883012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062203189173395484,0.0,0.0,0.060695931328354526,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fundawunda,2019/03/03,"I’m really sick right now I’m having a bad time. I don’t know how to let anyone know I need help. I’m not suicidal but I keep thinking of ways I could end my life. I’m bored. Like, I’m not enjoying anything. I just feel... weird. Off. 

What do I do?",-3.210526315789473,-1.804672666666665,0.503175438596493,101.60739473684211,109.0,4.3852631578947365,12.717543859649124,6.2581,-0.8617845614035087,186,4,50,3,10,67,39,57,0.22899999999999998,0.639,0.131,-0.6721,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,1,0,12,17,2,1,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,7,2,3,15,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,24,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015281952978304,0.0,0.2371782304726756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406493562058289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301180133531247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552749268574899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14573129628992912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931859403307394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561807253195162,0.0,0.0,0.3167933146806069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947216547843375,0.2035763599106356,0.14080838484290434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21370943116000568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18463934389813524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24613594780771625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3152628805478589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18467796941977832,0.0,0.0,0.16806179017981182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287734293691039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Thrwaway891011,2019/03/03,"Took Lamictal 8 hours apart I take 300 mg of Lamictal every evening. I forgot to take my Lamictal last night and took it this morning around 11 am. I forgot that I had taken it so late this morning and took it around 8 tonight. So that’s 600 mg in about 9 hours. Any danger with that? I’m just feeling restless and maybe some heavy chest, but not much else at this time. I’m 34 years old. I’m not too worried. Just curious. I don’t think it’s time to call poison control. Just wondering if anyone has had experience. Thanks ",0.7770668583752709,3.18970180373832,2.2872897196261697,93.32375988497485,87.03738317757009,5.5352983465133,21.31488138030194,7.010146845296331,0.5938948957584467,411,14,88,6,13,133,70,107,0.081,0.82,0.099,0.222,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,10,4,2,1,0,0,5,2,1,1,0,20,20,7,0,1,7,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,10,6,0,3,3,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,8,1,6,1,9,12,2,18,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,3,10,46,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114210249584344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142782698218254,0.0,0.0,0.29098542811066963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668864563232806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18330740099303588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365298285071576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10794795411661136,0.0,0.13770190128371065,0.0,0.0,0.15987179485426614,0.0,0.0,0.08263816571320326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3219031288894734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332221751321828,0.1843629566902619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641934559374546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12014428468468814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533736394318333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17149861693709206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457671041617726,0.0,0.0,0.1504699348997756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472320653847214,0.0,0.0,0.19060172276662374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5447503171752898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17723939905014358,0.0,0.1659772183076969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052474426202437
bipolarreddit,Type2sugarnova,2019/03/03,"There is no relief I worked all day. It was horrible. I love my part time job. I was horrible. I left work planning on hanging myself. I got home my mom opened the door for me. It was too much. I went right back out the door and went to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting.

I'm going to cut myself with a pairing knife so it will be clean. I just need relief.",-1.0978828828828815,0.9342265540540566,1.0068918918918932,98.82718468468471,101.02702702702706,3.547747747747748,16.977477477477482,5.46131890053228,-0.6143387387387387,271,8,61,2,12,89,54,74,0.141,0.6970000000000001,0.163,0.4215,1,0,0,0,0,2,10.0,0,0,0,3,5,4,1,0,4,0,6,1,0,0,1,7,13,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,6,0,12,3,6,5,3,12,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,3,41,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19094348015818047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16014646761188214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14112651662953524,0.0,0.19860494571267795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490861565010008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24642022315641746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698014352843369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.224119349591412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908304916848163,0.0,0.0,0.18254446807832805,0.1841268355949496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689073866936109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120647317715562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14479794102798688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4603920110245221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3615612135290683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tendaga,2019/09/18,I got a job today. I managed to finally find employment. It's been 8 months since I worked. It's been 3 I've been actively looking. Today I was hired by a grocery store. It might not be the best job but it's a good start on the way to recovery.,-1.0878571428571426,0.9432863518518528,2.0593121693121685,94.03833333333333,92.88888888888887,6.048677248677249,20.67724867724868,7.447530270364453,0.8044582010582015,189,7,45,4,7,67,37,54,0.048,0.8320000000000001,0.12,0.5132,3,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,5,0,6,0,0,0,0,4,9,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,5,1,4,2,4,2,1,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,5,26,8,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558405107598842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670578850064373,0.22281785484716352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20447784414963596,0.1949795685693721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4838440314302767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20472055665916844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586205882781351,0.0,0.0,0.19458929016947316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20166398853057602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17255443171240092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4621651190388025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19350760125384345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774805989154584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kelsybobelsy,2019/09/18,"Advice for College and Bi-Polar disorder. Pretty straightforward. Anyone have any tips on how to do this successfully?

I've done so good the first three weeks, but a few days ago I went out drinking with my friends (stupid I know) , and it sent me into a depressive episode.  I guess sometimes I just forget I can't just do what my friends can and stay stable.

I've missed three days of classes. The max for my university before my final grade faces deductions. 

Last year I had to drop out mid-semester due to a medication problem that was causing me to pass out. 


I'm just scared and feel like I can't achieve the one goal in my life that means everything. 

I can't afford to see my doc or therapist, but I did reach out to my university counseling center since it's free. 
I want to try to file disability at school, but I doubt I'll qualify. 

Sorry to be all negative, but how did y'all who got their degree do it?",4.1138713745271165,5.199077032786889,5.181967213114755,82.9829886506936,71.02185792349727,8.909457755359396,27.73812526271543,9.265573868473778,2.174126019335856,719,25,149,15,13,237,121,183,0.155,0.701,0.14400000000000002,-0.513,1,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,1,4,6,12,1,2,6,0,14,4,1,3,1,30,25,12,0,2,8,0,1,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,8,10,1,0,3,1,1,3,4,6,0,4,8,2,22,7,21,16,2,23,0,2,1,0,6,9,0,3,10,93,30,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16345185015124072,0.1482725328290834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11374762543098572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11695731445318168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14233230963297214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17182978271879334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21574737985373746,0.0,0.14406723945813749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19170302882214252,0.0,0.0,0.1711727108611172,0.0,0.1638584555929808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503292297635271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08457546608136833,0.11949592447925507,0.0,0.1832333535003148,0.0,0.14227763702284008,0.0,0.0,0.2584608874825079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402960302001545,0.13377908767662655,0.0,0.1842639922814402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09192583515921646,0.13634532491054355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181459711189039,0.08171844400917673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18220332696335625,0.0,0.1685043933863684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334477653782035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17017116566896678,0.0,0.16005239287452247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674639322164483,0.1692836244841452,0.13329052909821176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13836539182438204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654318193701287,0.18724225471209816,0.0,0.17828488302521428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19421044185737485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135636423737887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865869621720487,0.0,0.1341718867936687,0.0,0.0,0.15505863408248527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10771477605603476
bipolarreddit,stonedbutcute,2019/09/18,"I don't know what's going on anymore Hi all.

I do not have a diagnosis for bipolar but for a couple years now I have suspected there may be something more going on. I have been diagnosed with depression since I was 10 and I got my diagnosis for anxiety in high school I've been in and out of therapy from the ages 10-17, some court ordered, some not. Bipolar runs in my family and my mother has Bipolar 1 and BPD. 

I don't want to be a hypochondriac but I'm getting fairly worried. I am experiencing a lot of hallucinations and extreme paranoia about people and being in public. I feel like everyone is looking at me and whispering about me. I've even hallucinated people talking about me, e.g. ""she's looking at you!""  I feel like there's demons in my room and I hear music that is not there very often. I sleep very little, if not at all, and I feel fine. I have looked into mixed episodes and cyclothymia and all of it sounds spot on. I'm not trying to diagnose myself, I just want an explanation for what is going on. It's been this way for a little over 2 years now. 

I guess what I'm looking for here is words of encouragement. I haven't been to therapy in 5 years and I am scared shitless to have to put all my bullshit on the table again and I'm afraid of a diagnosis. I have taken so many antidepressants and I hate how meds make me feel. So please give me words of encouragement and maybe let me know how therapy has worked/is working for you.

Thank you. Sorry if I'm intruding on a sub I don't have a diagnosis for, I just don't really have anyone to talk about this to so it means a lot.",1.8574850475536808,3.8584275379939217,4.043257182076676,84.97718894009219,79.09118541033433,7.284674968134133,23.378860672614962,8.259297600419973,1.3916962643396404,1256,42,265,25,31,432,152,329,0.106,0.8220000000000001,0.07200000000000001,-0.8597,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,3,0,1,20,10,1,2,12,0,32,6,1,3,4,55,62,24,0,4,11,1,4,2,0,1,5,3,1,0,9,18,0,0,8,0,0,5,10,4,0,0,7,12,38,6,45,50,9,36,1,1,4,0,13,22,0,9,9,185,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08085053660061353,0.0,0.10481345621907368,0.07389905533381505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13310952271640436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694104709610055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102836321338996,0.21454087940209773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980550061593653,0.0,0.0,0.10098879596601887,0.0,0.0,0.09963263150336453,0.0,0.2137548071123725,0.1510061337598989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055217280427877,0.10138494038014934,0.18019367668785544,0.0,0.08452783179011666,0.0,0.1164265358289046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043443816443723,0.0,0.0,0.1191173291834988,0.0,0.0,0.1116644922355426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161660116906574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807248009537336,0.0,0.1032670054688168,0.21185298772668215,0.0,0.0,0.3550030375845951,0.0,0.0,0.17970321806525788,0.0,0.0,0.07054712953150344,0.10715038876212646,0.10617715253031354,0.11512451191464552,0.11739482488663265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14654060809560207,0.0,0.0,0.11601297747514652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624498190453842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770602531006985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10581147875309227,0.10696124471864783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742567144706569,0.0,0.10576368023417497,0.0,0.0,0.08136328859621017,0.0,0.11830834015376294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16989498370506764,0.0,0.0973027161031659,0.3625881004419323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07175477592767089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744062712004167,0.12467427941560325,0.08388970233603857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694165250856745,0.10733063826567192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20417757281578555
bipolarreddit,akita0122,2019/09/18,Losing hair rapidly on Depakote I am new to this illness and learning my way around med options to ask pdoc to switch to.  Does anyone have experience with moving from hair stealing Depakote to another more hair-friendly med?,10.11825,9.620150325,8.730000000000004,68.09500000000004,58.25,10.0,45.0,8.841846274778883,4.47175,183,10,27,2,2,56,32,40,0.212,0.7879999999999999,0.0,-0.8564,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,5,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,9,3,1,5,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,16,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758121942218572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839182289242425,0.0,0.0,0.23415442264009426,0.24589959876685802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23018124936220505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572959619565475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032180240039601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2942657489785058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5843389521148951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795616001085212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25403813627171673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087827159485502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheDarkHeadache,2019/09/18,"Why is Bipolar such a Taboo for the NHS? For almost two years I’ve been under the mental health team in England , and for the duration they have beaten around the bush with what is actually the problem. It doesn’t surprise me that so many people are rage quitting from life and demanding a refund.

I mean you ask for help, make strides towards a suitable diagnosis and then your left in limbo for months on end, and when you come back for a review, you end up coming out further away from the finish line than when you went in.

Everything is pointing towards my condition being BPD and the NHS team have also agreed and yet you mention it as a diagnosis, and they react in a way similar to that of someone saying Voldemort in Harry Potter.

Furthermore why has it taken almost two years to get to the point where I’ve been prescribed Antipsychotics (which have made a positive impact on my life and just need tweaking) when I could just pay £350 for a private Psychiatrist (if I had that kind of money) and come out with a diagnosis and a course of medication all in one day?

It’s almost as if the NHS would rather prescribe the whole list of antidepressants to you, before actually exploring your condition as being anything other than your bog standard Anxiety/Depression.

Maybe I’m being petty but christ it’s frustrating sitting here looking at the same four walls while they decided when its an appropriate time to pull their finger out.",13.805555555555555,8.474535407407409,12.411481481481486,59.51166666666669,56.03703703703704,15.407407407407408,46.66666666666667,12.261556223090626,5.5408888888888885,1160,45,199,23,9,373,165,270,0.055,0.917,0.027999999999999997,-0.7236,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,9,4,4,15,6,3,0,22,0,17,6,1,3,1,42,30,24,0,7,6,0,1,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,12,19,0,1,3,2,3,6,1,4,0,4,6,3,19,2,43,19,3,48,1,0,1,0,19,24,0,5,16,149,31,5,0.0,0.0,0.2387163938990827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36743133358041896,0.0,0.0,0.09781231206276902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006517882243835,0.10888299923546836,0.1143445659605885,0.0,0.11491550392049575,0.09404984914572967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040779179073906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15404681582634935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.316081095462268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976556301161162,0.0,0.0,0.07888067771490083,0.0,0.10534655385086868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21666303712486093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992552059862837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390261233696673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13001120518264514,0.0,0.0,0.08198269426054304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273684097364067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13289159842887732,0.0,0.17278419376332085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10271069723745822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157339208329012,0.08164375056149012,0.12400447290708234,0.1228781527197804,0.1332328756207625,0.0,0.1232157790955878,0.12326103462665598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09762772236655876,0.0,0.0,0.09069228808985684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288131049200669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479526335046511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312474488089683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11703540713581638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13009313597047042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726686456496668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363397779137072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07132070966242407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389607587034613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09708502638853188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338381166218713,0.2207338696491359,0.13655621192377262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688644680288543,0.0,0.0,0.1575289496626831
bipolarreddit,asunnysnowman,2019/09/18,"I'm scared The past couple of weeks I've been in a really low place. The longer I go the worse it gets.
I've talked to my doc, did 2 med changes but to no avail.

I have absolute break downs and struggle hardcore to not self harm. I've failed a couple of times but nothing but tiny little cuts.

Last night I had a full on breakdown.
I kept thinking I could do a long cut down my arm or maybe just take all my sleep meds. Anything to make it stop.
I ended up take 1.5x my sleepy meds and decided being knocked out would be enough.
I woke up this morning in such a bad place that I didn't even want to have sex (a rare occasion).

I stayed home from work today. Yesterday I barely kept myself together and actually ended up crying during lunch.

I don't know what to do anymore. This is now extended to my husband and is really hard on our relationship.

I don't know what I'm looking for.",1.6442647058823567,3.5150298586956548,3.1887851662404114,91.47846547314579,79.21739130434783,6.503324808184144,21.69309462915601,7.510576382923642,0.6770310741687982,690,20,153,10,17,227,119,184,0.196,0.784,0.021,-0.9821,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,0,2,4,8,2,2,9,0,16,4,2,1,1,23,31,8,0,3,6,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,7,5,1,3,4,0,0,1,5,8,0,0,7,2,19,0,21,20,3,30,0,2,1,1,5,15,0,1,12,89,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.12741792431075116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12949080120009274,0.0,0.0,0.10744835513172127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902087192527113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13812622321124735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10424987981273133,0.2889474391532601,0.14342550834926304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312933269005709,0.1349141786633033,0.0,0.08624055087009204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821767109512444,0.0,0.07420619580476705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696547666430958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097280754183793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351620935580967,0.10643234385989477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13086589311597047,0.0,0.11555073955055327,0.10964629309907832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871567893563909,0.0,0.13117556701457914,0.0,0.4351030052727614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253152235996626,0.0,0.12528586840202688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464426900126367,0.0,0.0,0.2728366597594998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16729354759850484,0.0,0.0,0.1401837988102729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13072379877700407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621345584023478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306647465452196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13917072688491844,0.0,0.10916274286447836,0.0,0.13650058435758144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19634545760600933,0.10494758189188708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08366427223812002,0.0,0.0,0.07613667948919807,0.0,0.12376551951904212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701383444902002,0.0,0.10473573920428816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505684277950986,0.0,0.1330624436257393,0.09275350152147804,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Legal_PleaseMe_2018,2019/09/18,"When you feel the crazies urging you to give in, does giving in mean you were already crazy? Most times, when the all too obvious crazy feelings and urges come, you naturally fight them without a second thought. 


But, on the rare occasion when the call hits and you just kind of say fuck it, let’s roll ... do you already have to be crazy to decide to go with the flow?",4.479166666666664,5.500598583333336,4.448222222222224,88.819,70.1111111111111,7.426666666666668,26.9,7.554174236665415,1.2351800000000006,286,9,60,3,5,88,53,72,0.16899999999999998,0.802,0.03,-0.8823,0,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,0,6,1,0,5,3,2,0,6,0,5,1,0,0,2,15,15,6,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,5,0,0,3,1,2,0,1,2,3,7,1,10,10,2,10,0,0,0,1,12,3,1,1,4,40,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5043271111270174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23333156470241426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19683885847081828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999683318951213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23108037566148826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21125137354860415,0.0,0.4384101658522456,0.1298659994703319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379552532974937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336642589373803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489115058553641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18171822544467164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18140932047704544,0.1332444800732103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22027294214052096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HOROSHEY,2019/09/18,"Bi-polar survey Hi, i'm a year 11 student who is doing a research project in which i'm required to put out a school survey but id like to go the step further and gather information from a more diverse community, if your interested in lending a hand to my research please fill out the survey below.

If you wish to reply with feedback please do.

Thanx

[https://forms.gle/z9C7xZXXtme6Pgoj6](https://forms.gle/z9C7xZXXtme6Pgoj6)",8.954647887323944,11.183580521126764,7.89729577464789,63.73467605633803,60.69014084507042,7.933521126760564,32.50985915492957,8.238735603445708,2.6152963380281693,351,13,51,4,5,108,53,71,0.0,0.732,0.268,0.9664,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,7,0,3,1,1,0,0,10,7,4,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,11,7,1,11,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,2,2,31,5,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878472873260733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16147980776157345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7256433249123848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3322730077373529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3345130645881169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38009211798763226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21284988403176355
bipolarreddit,nwickens,2019/09/18,"SUSTAINABLE APPROACH TO EXERCISE THAT I CAN BUILD ON (IN TIME) TO GET INTO REALLY GOOD SHAPE Hallo friends, like many of you my body has been impacted by this “rollercoaster” that is bp. 

I have gained weight from having to stop the exercise program I was on (due to a major depressive episode) as well as:

            1. the medication, 
            2. eating to reduce the impact of side effects,    
            and 
            3. depressed mood related carbohydrate 
            bingeing (in no particular order)

Over 8 months I’ve become unfit and over weight. I’m 45 (M) 6,1 feet and around 110kg (240 pounds). 

I’ve developed a pot belly lol, and I’m looking to start small and build up to transforming my physique BUT without totally fucking up my brain chemistry and as a consequence my mental well being. 

What I mean by this is, in my previous attempts at weight loss through calorie restriction and P90x, I destabilized my mood and precipitated a depressive episode. I do NOT want to go down that route again. 

Does anyone have a great before and after success story with bp medication, weight loss and exercise that they can share. What was your journey and how did you maintain it?

Much love and well wishes

OP",3.666120358514721,6.4293526009389685,4.528632095603928,79.83894046094753,76.98122065727698,8.004182671788305,28.46116090482288,8.841846274778883,2.7370863849765263,916,40,159,22,22,295,140,213,0.08800000000000001,0.747,0.165,0.9635,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,3,1,6,6,18,1,0,8,1,14,15,3,2,1,26,25,17,0,2,3,0,4,1,1,0,5,0,0,0,9,15,5,2,2,3,0,3,3,6,3,0,4,5,16,10,33,20,3,27,0,5,1,2,7,16,1,0,8,102,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744526708076146,0.0,0.0,0.11133043279977783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13811958784984266,0.10641734455230817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389141142567952,0.0,0.13960897007729955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32314348933810016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094413585058628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796819729646586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966214958060013,0.1156164933131234,0.06533899266611551,0.0,0.07107481105162697,0.1048948831339154,0.0,0.13787973369845824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06109828355085248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501939197949926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287205838884452,0.0,0.0,0.12679180161081302,0.0,0.1362276370982504,0.0,0.2519707596372881,0.12603165258754076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982216379639376,0.0,0.09193391778559372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08011701150267196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08851852397008805,0.0,0.0,0.10455624680428258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292383136079596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376397176088287,0.0,0.0,0.6091603918255696,0.3373334484934894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438134979361716,0.12055393872358484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ceemobs,2019/09/18,"How to make your mean jerk of an inner voice stop being such a mean jerk I feel like I have a lot to learn to manage my bipolar. I want to improve myself but I’m not sure how to handle my mean inner voice. I feel like there are behaviors or mantras that could help retrain how I think. 

What has actually worked for you all??",1.7606372549019618,3.465058102941178,3.0594117647058816,93.31401960784315,78.26470588235293,5.7098039215686285,20.15686274509804,6.42735559955562,-0.007566666666666499,253,6,57,2,6,82,48,68,0.106,0.7240000000000001,0.17,0.6775,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,1,5,5,2,0,3,0,5,1,0,4,2,20,14,5,0,2,3,0,2,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,7,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,10,3,7,12,2,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,3,37,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.21406839168945296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17514493526753486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22183485841228687,0.31342850020120155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14703559500100194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21434111210226767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864961002480836,0.0,0.0,0.14642770099469252,0.0,0.0,0.7168576972477585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18339878728848855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20674871888647825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405601001331939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938703693000314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970018004107372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,princesafindom,2019/09/18,"Just took 7mg of Kolomopin Am I suppose to feel a lot? Cus basically all I does is make me the *slightest* but loopy and I start tilting when I stand. Should this amount be effecting me more? I’m kinda tired but could def shag awake longer, is this bad? I use the kolonopin the calm me down and almost slow my thoughts. I don’t feel the overthinking, dwelling, and mental pain when I’m on it.",-0.5571071428571415,1.5118520750000002,0.5035714285714299,101.63,103.25,3.7857142857142883,18.214285714285715,5.773587663045528,-0.4339464285714287,306,10,70,3,14,94,60,80,0.175,0.775,0.05,-0.9244,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,1,5,0,7,2,0,3,1,18,16,7,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,2,10,1,4,11,4,8,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,4,40,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29058895864863393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24230119111057224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316975603448971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539521110976545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934632132814512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467139079717821,0.0,0.0,0.19370780568423931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.292448893879708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087885616199696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054019279397739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303828784854739,0.0,0.33353713424176845,0.0,0.0,0.3224179714353793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506358105615425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,floralbabe_,2019/09/18,"How it started I need feedback on when & how you guys started realizing you had symptoms & how did you figure out when to get help. I’ve been struggling mentally for awhile now & most symptoms point towards this disorder, so I need all the opinions I can get.",4.616176470588236,6.435649784313724,4.884460784313728,82.75257352941178,70.76470588235293,7.452941176470588,34.318627450980394,8.07648339933343,2.6918980392156864,213,11,39,3,4,67,37,51,0.113,0.836,0.051,-0.4981,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,0,7,1,0,1,1,0,4,2,0,3,1,11,10,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,6,0,5,7,2,9,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,2,5,27,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6383677400832096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.225080762293782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052120751525608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19445767434123265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163654974768246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979156389398117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912424384329453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18565269520434013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27801270347352297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053102057419728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4082502780719012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,slothfella,2019/09/18,"I'm so fucking sick of the mental health care system I've had some amazing providers over the last few years. But I have to switch therapists because I'm moving and the search for a new therapist is exhausting and triggering. I just got off the phone with this one therapist who made me feel like I was being attacked and quizzed during the whole call. I felt so pressured, and ended up scheduling an appointment which I now have to cancel because I know she definitely isn't the right fit. I'm so frustrated about all the barriers to getting help. How many people has the hassle made the difference between healing and living in pain and chaos. I'm so angry.",7.456666666666668,7.381495777777783,7.256984126984129,75.09357142857142,63.444444444444436,10.692063492063493,35.460317460317455,10.290406445055957,3.6230126984126985,532,22,95,11,7,169,90,126,0.21100000000000002,0.685,0.10400000000000001,-0.9367,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,8,9,3,1,11,0,8,6,0,4,1,19,21,12,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,7,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,6,0,1,6,2,8,3,12,14,4,14,0,0,0,1,5,6,1,1,7,61,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844512649209715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19767122761951464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16555733076023316,0.0,0.1653068071681785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16939591965091833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360293757436862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08198001465078271,0.11582883421645415,0.15567443187204166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14989062267998396,0.08470852224762378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296736757814241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17234126530823507,0.0,0.0,0.10867525797019696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910481564343603,0.13216116034144412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921066885598048,0.0,0.14316762890467533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3068309431853156,0.0,0.16437881438499347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16339332168267398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17232318808907174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15659039553914025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986645266868003,0.0,0.17252241275856886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11240356519604756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13846187552752384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5647515387081028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18101724628719926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440922561022488
bipolarreddit,emctree,2019/09/18,"Tips for bad depression flare up? I just moved across the country with my wife and I'm feeling as down as I've felt in the past 3 years. I had forgotten how utterly exhausting depression is. How hard it is to find a reason to get out of bed in the morning and take care of myself.

I guess I'm looking for tips. I'm taking my meds, journaling, trying to achieve one good thing every day, going to therapy. But every morning I feel worse. I don't feel suicidal exactly, but I do want relief badly enough to scare myself a little.

Advice?",2.286666666666669,4.32572025925926,4.246074074074077,83.85633333333334,77.8888888888889,7.653333333333332,24.68888888888889,8.548686976883017,1.861871111111112,420,15,82,9,10,143,74,108,0.195,0.69,0.115,-0.8466,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,3,9,0,1,5,0,5,1,0,3,1,18,20,8,1,1,3,1,5,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,6,0,0,2,1,6,0,1,2,6,10,3,18,18,1,12,0,2,1,0,1,7,0,1,3,49,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16656269916571506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846388530862138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17378610719018825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099267640382122,0.0,0.2936183132010713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17612139951565375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872245598515981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585553709060446,0.0,0.16365964576741393,0.0,0.15578908364187566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08905358816997229,0.0,0.09687120499383847,0.1429661729172848,0.0,0.0,0.18777094223802632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15269057447656526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708366346132589,0.0,0.0,0.14313587188272195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893325840702248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18116238858896336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11550197748759385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16271472217085264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752519689017534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706511399966814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18644567796609174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25631580849936103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19492552042812167,0.0,0.11324003968738824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572500882287892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053638868512513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17370408378517113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10976482568611352
bipolarreddit,AtrocityXhibition,2019/09/18,"I was going to post here the other day saying “I’m so stable lately, I can’t really be bipolar” but now I’m depressed lol All of July and most of August I have been doing amazingly well in terms of mood and stability, after adding a medication for mood stabilization in May or June. I only had a few days of feeling “meh” in August and that’s it. So it made me have those doubts, like “what if I’m not even bipolar? Because see, I’ve been doing really great for 2 months straight! There’s no way I’m bipolar! I’ve just been faking it/misunderstanding my symptoms/overplaying it/etc.”

But this month those little wobbles have been stronger and more frequent and today I just feel so depressed again, and my anxiety has slowly come back this month and I don’t know why. It’s kind of making me laugh because of course my brain would do this once I realize how well everything has been going. Of course!",2.8984986033519573,4.942533608938547,4.2647451117318464,84.41264839385477,76.03910614525141,6.933100558659219,23.47800279329609,7.865858978985527,1.2394606145251403,712,22,139,11,16,235,110,179,0.11199999999999999,0.711,0.177,0.9291,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,14,13,0,1,3,1,20,5,1,3,1,27,33,15,0,2,7,0,2,1,0,2,4,1,0,0,11,8,0,0,4,0,0,3,4,4,2,0,8,4,12,7,14,22,5,26,0,2,1,0,1,5,0,5,17,91,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12263639625468473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326817807414192,0.0,0.19544647416272234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17895851809486102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13809251553021334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20677284473052,0.0,0.2761488269792868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17878756686846867,0.10588297114935497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14407592113250858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621146892065135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18221526672145547,0.0,0.0,0.17674188703152874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16693776709923125,0.08810195726588223,0.0,0.18083619818451796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831916728807714,0.16067232230584294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15168880856303288,0.10700789500746953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16149504477741833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3838727517895315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17072447958914408,0.0,0.12192266572073428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535322719180038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20539685443949005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748461896339108,0.0,0.0,0.1277459865142179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519547451901113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272462893869267,0.0,0.0,0.28827514455935355,0.0,0.14465446886971198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138793320139402,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Hooples,2019/09/18,"27 and my cycles keep getting stronger I'm 27 and my manic phases have been noticeably getting stronger even though I'm in therapy and taking proper meds. Is this a thing? Does it keep getting stronger as you age? How do you manage it because each cycle literally ruins my life

I am currently coming down from a 4 day manic phase where I literally did life changing stuff and now I regret almost all of it and just want to be left alone and now I know because the high of the mania was so strong this time that in a week or two I will be in the hospital from being so low please I just need advice",4.533114754098361,5.151908991803283,5.542745901639347,82.48575819672132,69.73770491803279,8.067213114754097,27.54508196721311,8.07648339933343,1.6748000000000005,475,15,95,6,8,157,81,122,0.08199999999999999,0.789,0.128,0.7039,1,1,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,1,10,4,0,0,6,0,11,2,0,1,1,20,23,12,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,8,8,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,3,0,11,1,10,16,2,16,0,3,0,0,2,8,0,2,7,66,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18031987845265196,0.0,0.0,0.18477942046101206,0.19111668476089694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249746748171391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19520751236913889,0.15895563687797634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900612099436905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614828179697451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12187985025079592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892268006284921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194965317516712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32803620843403025,0.0,0.0,0.1014124673855373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20049160453364853,0.0,0.2606769777413812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049704328620585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368261242466336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100878103104737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20255773824493928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21124187934607028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387430549144571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21102531555368687,0.0,0.12259305531599135,0.0,0.18129908240117554,0.0,0.1076005081265595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180258295104622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10884015135786124,0.0,0.1480182591754754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,noyeahnono,2019/09/18,"I'm stuck in an interpersonal loop. I need help. I know I do. But I don't think I can be able to talk about it with anyone, at least not while being completely honest. 

I'm currently leaving a relationship of 2 1/2 years. 

They were what felt like the love of my life. We grew and learned so much from each other, building each other up, but ignoring tensions. 

Then the tensions caught up to us, and it went to hell with a bang. 

We were trying to fix things, but I have to make decisions I never wanted to make. 

I hate making decisions. 

I had gone into hypomania shortly before they broke up with me, and then, a lot of stuff came onto me, because when it rains,it pours. 

Now I'm stuck trying trying to decide the future of not one, not two, but three very deep relationships, and I honestly don't know what to do. 

Do I stay with the person with whom I grew so much, even if things don't feel as good now? Do I stay with the person that makes my heart throb since I was a teenager and recently reappeared? Do I stay with the person that is the most convenient and stable choice, but is mostly an idealized person? Does it really matter? Should I just hear the voice in my head pushing me into depression and telling me to just stay away? 

I'm stuck in an interpersonal loop. I need to get out. I feel like my decisions have been made for me for too long, and now that I have to take them, I don't know how.",3.6871678321678303,4.559936702797206,4.840146853146852,85.83098951048953,71.83216783216784,8.097622377622377,23.74055944055944,8.395991825355821,1.1922537062937058,1091,27,236,17,20,360,148,286,0.139,0.779,0.081,-0.9690000000000001,1,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,3,0,3,1,13,14,2,2,15,0,23,5,2,6,1,63,54,22,0,6,11,0,3,2,0,1,2,2,0,4,15,23,0,1,12,0,0,7,8,7,0,3,14,5,35,7,39,37,8,38,1,2,0,1,18,14,1,4,15,170,50,1,0.10610416978658757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741905025596105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968836025018507,0.0,0.0,0.06468011707860531,0.0,0.0902868335470149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135490376250073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124820330492917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09138736596122488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928524740036252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07008080345178302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729891263537496,0.07580084009615375,0.10187664235090713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05543504942538285,0.0,0.0,0.08899514353875113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10475590085013513,0.1088934892547634,0.0,0.1195871107656567,0.12573395206876556,0.07111938842804089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17493623055283786,0.0,0.0,0.11234899557131603,0.0,0.0,0.0749445129933578,0.1036742756581871,0.0,0.0,0.09389885135762532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09020597083153864,0.09576315581576422,0.10039833094356657,0.28330142897971344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15599754659077933,0.15734979491140216,0.08183407685399854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07189893144488907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3705842737161343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797304811783267,0.0,0.10476506716183503,0.2278323399474952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777046569770197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4523717095339716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146388920543115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977713085265717,0.08528251251994111,0.09273972112406992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14098179143598755,0.06798726770064635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161132992734016,0.0,0.10364835634262703,0.0,0.12763025199141625,0.0,0.0,0.0875470522015308,0.06258298840437555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983596284043557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832760658070773
bipolarreddit,Headtroubles5,2018/12/31,"Going off haldol, a little nervous Went to my pdoc and he was completely OK with me going off. He said as long as I felt OK then he was ok with it. I've been good for a bit but I'm so anxious and scared. I hope there won't be a huge difference.
But I'm excited to not feel like a zombie! To not always feel tired.
Anyone got off haldol and not got on anything else? How'd it go?",-0.6383660130718951,1.127093294117646,2.253333333333334,95.72888888888893,86.64705882352942,5.189542483660131,16.50326797385621,6.42735559955562,-0.4288300653594765,290,6,71,3,9,102,56,85,0.15,0.655,0.195,0.5115,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,9,0,2,4,3,5,1,0,0,0,14,18,9,0,1,5,0,3,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,3,0,0,4,4,2,0,0,8,4,4,7,12,8,1,12,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,3,38,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737282663065753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23587090855398254,0.0,0.14598936084265093,0.0,0.17181465958808012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22794232151638866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21891015069389175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181389271257816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17441550725954375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21113888077741133,0.14915812422327349,0.20046913538096345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35597694136571634,0.17512139256481216,0.3339735286388045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073735042264335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020032262687708,0.2092603358129262,0.0,0.18477072968395825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19860511382966467,0.0,0.20903312069689228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399709879615203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193548483809434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,iamsam2018,2018/12/31,Auditory Hallucinations My friend seems to be having some auditory hallucinations that she believes are from some sort of medium that's telling her she has a gift. I do not want to make her feel crazy in any way. Does anyone have any advice on how to respond to this? ,4.8008823529411755,6.666232176470594,5.809950980392159,76.11727941176474,70.37254901960785,8.237254901960785,26.47549019607843,8.841846274778883,1.9258196078431364,215,7,41,4,4,71,41,51,0.067,0.8190000000000001,0.114,0.5389,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,2,0,9,10,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,8,9,2,3,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,4,0,28,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222123328755479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4484609714146291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305577397989009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37149740071481935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885525209080673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16672346140407152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547517370888297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22010006299283547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001775281673724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882021249925632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19448570718038014,0.26172756979951944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,velvykat5731,2018/12/31,"Is it normal? For some months or years, my predominant mood is depressive and I get very brief and mild (hypo)manic episodes. Then, for other months or years, it seems I get more highs and depressions become milder and infrequent.

I doubt these whole months or years are a single episode because they do get interrupted by good (euthymic) days and the opposite mood also. But I don't know.

Is it normal? (Thank you for your answers).",4.792967032967034,7.324812435897439,4.4890476190476205,82.72500000000002,72.07692307692308,8.046886446886448,26.52747252747253,8.841846274778883,2.1207780219780217,342,12,62,7,7,104,54,78,0.13699999999999998,0.8270000000000001,0.036000000000000004,-0.8033,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,1,0,1,7,0,1,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,16,12,11,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,8,2,4,12,4,10,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,6,8,40,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15361106175944486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11709380991253975,0.21214383612676266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12387954441067395,0.0,0.3308866879528572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3010709364681313,0.0,0.0,0.16111257819773905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20294934838684028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556541253770574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4599635088962904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3764068870919343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17486783115643614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17684693167951945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849102246415245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21445709912262592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3710911546596435
bipolarreddit,hashtagbitch,2018/12/31,"How much work do you miss due to your illness? I am writing this post because I am very tired of beating myself up for being sick and not always being well enough to work. I notice that I seem to have an average of about one week every other month where I miss days of work from the illness. I feel that I have come a long way because I used to just randomly quit because I would panic or be impulsive and decide I literally could never work anymore. Now, I am 26 and after a lot of therapy and taking my meds, I do a lot better and have gone to work on days that are hard but to where I can still work.   


I feel some shame despite the fact that it is a disability and I am trying. I just was curious as to if anyone else has any sort of pattern of missing work due to the illness, and if so, have you been able to keep your job? Is it so bad that I sometimes need to miss about a week of work every other month? I know it isn't ideal but I just mean is it really so bad for someone who has this illness? ",6.371261682242992,4.1654176214953305,7.36814953271028,80.35231775700935,66.71028037383178,10.055327102803735,31.6803738317757,8.238735603445708,2.1163042990654204,777,22,173,8,10,265,115,214,0.225,0.753,0.022000000000000002,-0.9915,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,4,0,12,14,11,0,2,9,0,25,6,0,2,2,38,40,17,0,6,9,0,3,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,14,8,0,1,6,0,0,2,3,8,1,1,3,3,25,3,26,32,5,21,0,4,0,0,6,4,0,9,13,131,39,9,0.10799439639986748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985998905540962,0.0,0.0,0.07343989283755946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10710142226869918,0.07551219295757368,0.11065302129898896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18034162012987634,0.1974971450328349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551226754414736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302761002112199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622473794128073,0.0,0.0,0.13929490304882058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021546065381487,0.0,0.0,0.11158708020290496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18197987345402444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921042337663348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674176691305332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716777461813692,0.09599038156298492,0.0,0.0,0.05935089596390804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09557164242841536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18362594780601169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763755732161953,0.119957428806314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17240019375946705,0.0,0.07938830734841204,0.08007647653847368,0.0832919361469344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12295233608328902,0.0,0.0,0.07317979791749678,0.0,0.0,0.12670815548266673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10342877934264284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486533386426863,0.0,0.0,0.06918397568831845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09831404249656936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09150330161454524,0.0,0.10680921944903464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624446446698303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119834602423913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350100408822015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412367204416115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332110621715064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932724844068279,0.0,0.08910668711803205,0.0,0.08572092513682926,0.17325318134080367,0.0,0.09709993196909604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6289696542892556,0.0,0.0,0.07671612069186219,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,harryhitch19,2018/12/31,"I don’t know how to survive any longer. I’m freaking out and I don’t know how the hell I’m going to make it.   My girlfriend is literally in the middle of packing and leaving me this morning.  I haven’t eaten in 3 days.  I haven’t showered in a week.  I’m out of a couple of my meds.  And I’m broke (two months behind on rent as of tomorrow kinda broke).  I have no friends or family left.  And to top it all off, my daughter is going to be with me tonight and I’m scared I won’t be able to comfort her since I’m such a wreck myself.

Fuck 2018.",-0.9933648170011792,0.8937116528925664,1.9212101534828816,96.68233471074379,89.49586776859505,4.448878394332938,19.386658795749703,5.773587663045528,-0.2861952774498229,414,13,101,3,14,145,71,121,0.18,0.757,0.062,-0.9329,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,3,8,2,1,5,0,10,2,0,3,1,16,23,9,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,3,8,1,0,2,0,1,2,6,6,0,1,1,0,13,2,19,19,1,17,1,2,0,1,4,10,2,2,5,62,16,0,0.251215879825951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17083541284123233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779655928250149,0.0,0.16201345991653207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368239738591537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19408876558559604,0.2322450328603345,0.0,0.0,0.2855435475546208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761233553790192,0.0,0.0,0.2660013440261397,0.2729467884786398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16768855050709872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790442099204513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005181185377785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515109206703479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20780837178529876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24540141149493416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015102256881008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,redcapris,2018/12/31,"I wish I was dead I’d been doing well for months, had a mild hypo episode in October but that wasn’t bad and actually led to a lot of productivity, other than that I’d been stable, been taking my meds consistently, started feeling a little down and then about a week ago the will to live was just zapped from me. I was finally getting my life back on track and now all I can think about is jumping off a bridge. I don’t want to be on any more meds and I’m not sure what to do. I start school again in two weeks and can’t think of anything that sounds worse. I feel like such a failure.",2.7718844444444457,3.612685904000003,4.081066666666668,90.54097777777781,73.96000000000002,7.155555555555559,23.488888888888887,7.3871296695380915,0.6410622222222218,458,12,108,5,9,151,86,125,0.146,0.753,0.1,-0.8687,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,7,0,16,1,0,1,2,18,27,7,1,2,3,0,2,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,5,0,0,4,0,0,2,4,1,1,1,8,3,10,3,17,17,3,20,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,1,12,73,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.1807189652984901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641599786273618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12593571717823338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15239579256582622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14239986744505406,0.15462611933799802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18727550463201212,0.13229994817167934,0.0,0.2028668615859205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675425967006893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13080534690902582,0.09047459948277356,0.18560927691070125,0.16352637935174932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15744212400086766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4114092285236525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478170868984508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874224149749517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26215721743915565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17453961446188426,0.0,0.1392400171779544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373248629360773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18090396036263864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092300047311457,0.0,0.2970968883876943,0.0,0.16650827088668926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21295964255955385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18872468110127005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Cashley42069,2018/12/31,I'm in the hospital right now not sure what for. I took some kind of research chemicals,1.3866666666666667,3.7778076666666682,2.9977777777777814,89.60000000000002,83.44444444444446,8.044444444444443,25.66666666666667,8.841846274778883,2.216466666666668,70,3,15,2,2,23,17,18,0.11599999999999999,0.884,0.0,-0.2411,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,3,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,9,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5248627603034702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4304331889980371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4750360447493556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5599884899214361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TwoDiglets,2018/12/31,"Does anyone else struggle with over commitment? Hi everybody! I'm new to this subreddit so be please be gentle. I'm wondering if any of you guys ever struggle with commitment, specifically over commitment. I feel like because I feel things so deeply (which I'm finding out is somewhat common among people with bipolar disorder) I tend to over commit. In this specific instance I've been thinking about my over commitment to people. I tend to stay committed to people even when they don't stay committed to me, and I feel like I fight for relationships much harder/longer than I probably should but I have this insanely overwhelming fear if I cut off a relationship I'll just be doing it while I'm in a manic state or depressed and I'll come out of the episode and hate myself for what I've said/done. I had a problem of having no filter during episodes early on in my diagnosis and I was pretty terrible to my family and I still hate myself for how I treated them. I've worked really hard to filter every thought especially when I'm having an episode. But now I hold on to people as long as they'll keep me around even when I know I'm being used because I'm so scared to say something I can't take back. Can anyone relate to this? Or have any advice on how to sort out my real feelings? Or how to know when to walk away from someone?",4.224090909090911,5.74440534848485,5.425424242424244,79.67563636363639,71.27272727272728,8.613333333333333,27.97272727272728,9.120678840339163,2.38329,1068,39,200,22,20,355,146,264,0.16699999999999998,0.746,0.086,-0.9835,0,0,1,0,1,0,19.0,0,1,3,1,19,15,4,5,5,0,18,1,0,4,8,50,42,25,0,4,8,0,5,2,0,2,1,1,0,1,8,13,0,2,10,0,0,2,3,12,0,0,4,6,28,3,45,32,2,35,0,2,0,0,10,17,0,8,15,136,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232185229663072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15633159209797629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607428999655303,0.11777361269020804,0.0,0.10232444373533756,0.0,0.0,0.10799358116322327,0.08838476681210244,0.0,0.14013747353943826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09901399513095308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09900101575006502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317356718094879,0.0,0.1005881846421279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602088218632472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518387285448399,0.10397334147762792,0.096845196281067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10835888257775564,0.1293438478682946,0.23247636537170266,0.1642318954112658,0.0,0.0,0.1050566455148565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381253602836487,0.0,0.0,0.10296716035071724,0.22696661580938454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216742288163412,0.0,0.0,0.12634032676221205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231157052570767,0.0,0.0,0.20344347524172107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449699476817185,0.0,0.0,0.1110135383670276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31875051990307074,0.0,0.0,0.12617388915699468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693927305031533,0.12392896905668616,0.10998579224120188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13083132673081976,0.0736360079592263,0.0,0.0,0.2468134718434314,0.0,0.0,0.1093379742218784,0.09140800566089237,0.11507889963940005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973915965214156,0.08848943264977457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450298149497967,0.09179434990178327,0.0,0.0,0.24032865009992144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08642351056917423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636362208069661,0.07365141220167587,0.0,0.09125262010746008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927462733711716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246517602860434,0.08368053080313144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,EnjolrasKaramazov,2018/12/31,"How do you ask someone to take you hospital? I don’t feel safe, and I don’t know how to ask for help.",-0.3187500000000014,0.5981112916666689,2.3649999999999984,99.48,81.91666666666666,6.466666666666668,20.333333333333336,7.1686216300943375,0.02098333333333313,77,2,22,1,2,27,16,24,0.0,0.763,0.237,0.6808,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,6,8,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,3,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,13,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7772960486524184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21020373698882605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786526135774727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284723333087601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3522435927175142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3125744822496264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,avoidthedopamine,2018/12/31,"Reflecting on my life and how do I change? Dealing with my TBI and my mental illness. Past substance abuse. When I was about 17 or 18 I made some unwise choices that had lead to significant devastating consequences. Some of them were drug induced, and I need to pay back to society for it.  I noticed that I have some indents on my skull; the top left and right parietal part of my skull to be exact. Probably was attacked by some people who I ratted on or called out the corruption.. Probably an attack well deserved if I might add!  I haven't been attacked as severely since then thankfully. The pain is still quite significant, and I am unsure if I can do anything about it.. I got poisoned at my mental health clinic (since they hire ex cons) and I feel into same trap that I did all those years ago. ( I WAS HUNGRY FROM THE SEROQUEL!! Even though the back of my head was like NOOO DON'T DO IT!!)

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 I'm unfortunately quite vocal when I am psychotic about speaking against the catholic church and freemasonry (two cults in which I survived getting out of).  I know there are some good catholics and freemasons but the ones I was around were corrupting the institutions from the police force, schools, health care providers, and social services. I'm super medicated and I am aware of what is going on, and like my health problems are so severe that I don't know. I have lost a lot of my autonomy being so heavily medicated. My outlook on my life doesn't seem so worthwhile. I don't really breathe or it seems like I hold my breath! It's not on purpose but it's because of the traumatic brain injuries + meds. Basically I am a talking zombified human. I'd like to thank my family though for keeping me artificially alive though! ",5.123133232016212,6.6325706382978735,5.5374050151975664,79.77818452380953,69.06079027355622,8.644427558257346,31.33751266464032,9.075114841892004,2.6882795339412358,1376,58,256,26,24,440,192,329,0.11,0.7490000000000001,0.141,0.9117,0,0,1,0,1,0,44.0,0,0,2,7,19,17,4,0,13,0,32,18,6,4,2,49,49,29,0,4,8,1,1,4,0,1,12,1,0,1,14,17,0,2,7,0,1,2,6,7,1,2,13,2,41,10,35,33,9,26,1,1,0,0,10,15,0,14,13,181,55,5,0.0,0.11193451556041233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374420949922347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10236096120861106,0.114794480659543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07774285356361255,0.08410059289020445,0.0,0.32242846955057103,0.0,0.14528710873007633,0.0,0.05758958554070275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546260228241147,0.09646702938536923,0.0,0.09632105417179523,0.0,0.09993942421215027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09739704387947336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095581571947676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062398223865964914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906030599374881,0.0,0.04776815648099133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04935800467021989,0.0,0.05369092348496659,0.07923908711085688,0.07555832311788031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969560847677738,0.3012596874168971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839715372470901,0.0,0.0,0.10383927826792352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264469473169058,0.0,0.13345750245294247,0.18461805067951814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312794092502316,0.08031717795395568,0.0,0.08939220473258587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10493769830954428,0.19034229674290293,0.19041220695884334,0.10022043908207297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005019380878356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755761672079757,0.0,0.0,0.06401704031701863,0.0,0.10052544689379132,0.0,0.0,0.10230455812502776,0.09018473238263652,0.06549536633017479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20371476049060053,0.09039746515415947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20096635733558252,0.0,0.0,0.06052153035355385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806790357994545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561125748037018,0.0,0.17200851058177538,0.0,0.2134541668049923,0.0,0.15629732816043682,0.0,0.0,0.09630286069892333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07544589512432191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593345175804843,0.0,0.17395525019086114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784563824229517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09228594741862936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494216213405492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114794480659543,0.06083722048908821
bipolarreddit,guiltycitizen,2019/09/02,"Experiences with Kratom Looking for suggestions and knowledge about kratom from this community. Curious as to how it is taken along with Welbutrin and Lamictal. I hear mixed things about it, just want to hear about people's experiences with it and if it would be recommended or not, specifically mild doses for anxiety.",10.42222222222222,11.083624185185187,9.56703703703704,58.53166666666666,57.148148148148145,13.866666666666667,40.22222222222222,13.023866798666859,5.880155555555558,262,12,39,9,3,83,40,54,0.031,0.871,0.098,0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,15,8,7,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,6,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,13,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,0,31,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22107969388875615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5653833627493375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6514347035894449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24268225722012504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003521197396855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19199483733573575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17045620652562046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20529311550881607,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,didyoubringranch12,2019/09/02,Ghosting/NC Why Do people recommend doing this? I strongly feel as if this does not benefit the ones who are on the other side of it,1.3866666666666667,3.7778076666666682,3.653333333333337,84.90000000000002,83.44444444444446,6.562962962962962,23.814814814814817,7.793537801064563,1.562392592592592,105,4,20,2,3,36,25,27,0.085,0.757,0.158,0.2778,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,3,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5252789914360186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30350222337151034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40674196999020457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4161347384140683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.541628314343011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,a_little_sticious888,2019/09/02,"Moving after psychotic episode Who here has had experience with moving after a psychotic episode? I have the opportunity to move out of my city to a town an hour away with a close friend and a couple other roommates. I'd be spending half as much in rent but my commute to work will be an hour+. I'd work from home twice a week though (getting a new job is not an option by the way).

I think this would be good for my mental health as I 1) would be better off with roommates than living alone and 2) would be anonymous in a new city and not worried about who I'll run into all the time. 

Just curious if anyone here has been through this and how it turned out",5.045055555555557,4.9635273111111164,5.588287037037038,85.0535416666667,68.48148148148148,8.231481481481481,27.98611111111111,7.645422480735847,1.4156111111111112,517,15,111,5,8,167,88,135,0.019,0.855,0.126,0.9258,2,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,4,6,4,0,0,13,0,15,1,0,1,1,23,18,10,0,4,5,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,2,0,6,11,0,0,1,0,2,4,2,0,0,2,2,0,6,4,24,7,2,22,0,0,0,0,3,9,0,2,8,81,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15965949372224145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10778970844973618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14483497100678125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13633876952482624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705710758460491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15079449648253454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910081826712852,0.0,0.08054033345653215,0.0,0.0,0.12929903753889285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638609977833169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15463139423872466,0.0,0.30362591651197224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15297639664346974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13612288664954322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15535334891598987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4915314302290008,0.11332265913944847,0.0,0.0,0.2977703385249742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987771683829568,0.15145783710455554,0.0,0.08988981089346199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16767784824826476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12236214002858932,0.1236549302389281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22445532636584087,0.15655326247569795,0.0,0.32852475708459283,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Oakester,2019/09/02,"After almost killing myself with vodka.... .323 BAC. And 2 weeks in the psych ward. I woke up madly depressed and bored so I checked my little app and I have managed 2 months sober, I have taken my meds consistently for 1 week I have showered, shaved, and brushed for 3 days straight. Small victories made me not drink today",1.994631147540982,4.802210983606557,2.278831967213115,92.3054610655738,86.70491803278688,4.361475409836066,22.37909836065573,5.985473137389443,0.3748180327868851,254,9,48,2,8,77,49,61,0.2,0.769,0.031,-0.8836,1,0,2,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,0,8,6,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,0,3,1,9,0,6,3,0,11,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,1,6,25,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941713699494254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18945937571368915,0.0,0.2530263798989117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28778584215578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250164595755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944378689397654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779752535741325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32631573842867884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344869221176017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784625921065336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4712941946732224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,orion284,2019/09/02,"Just want to cut off all my hair I spent my teenage years wanting to grow my hair out but my mother never let me and took steps to make sure that I couldn’t, like secretly going behind my back and telling the hairdresser to cut it the way she wanted and make sure that I couldn’t let it grow out. Well, I finally managed to grow it out a few years ago. Cut it all off after two years. Got absurdly anxious when I went in to do it because I was afraid that somehow my mother would find a way to interfere in my life again and then the guy who ended up cutting it looked at me like a freak when I came in. I haven’t cut my hair since then, probably because I’ve apparently got fucking issues about my hair and now I want to cut it again but I’m too afraid to go to Great Cuts or wherever and I’m also too chicken to just cut it all off myself because I know my mother will criticize me and/or possibly get genuinely angry with me since she used to tell me when I was a kid that she would disown me if I ever shaved my head which is basically what I’m thinking about doing.(I should mention I live with her and my dad) I feel so anxious about this and I just don’t know what to do about it or where else to post and I feel like I’m freaking out a little",5.434861407249472,4.242298477611944,6.185415778251599,84.81171641791045,67.95522388059702,9.44818763326226,29.9637526652452,8.418075326091056,1.850237953091684,984,29,225,12,14,325,129,268,0.141,0.764,0.094,-0.9042,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,22,20,9,2,8,0,15,7,5,3,7,52,42,21,0,10,8,4,6,3,0,4,1,0,0,2,18,16,0,1,7,0,1,9,5,13,1,1,8,7,39,7,34,26,4,44,0,0,1,1,15,14,1,4,21,154,57,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489785703459588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463337645032907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.267372333046579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099319494250313,0.0,0.21640985616275768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13534503056001773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988546688130764,0.0,0.1048107049240941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704182260287164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11966862614890872,0.08453936924845648,0.0,0.12963146816680984,0.10815709731588977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939986388833174,0.061825754262539785,0.0,0.13450632227494308,0.0,0.18928845883408105,0.13046602320586556,0.0,0.117171393343673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12144702994298852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351219596697922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13006890663198942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420134619142334,0.08358432240400332,0.17343919659035156,0.11860391038347905,0.10449298852287847,0.0,0.09937256233050333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15798059812233284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126813411950284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13340622886081765,0.11333332062551922,0.0,0.1275863844769954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19577777236544147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22306084196388345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20686202206100476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582502675495073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13147581686971413,0.0,0.0,0.11559722369474845,0.0,0.0,0.10220443911262016,0.0,0.0,0.27919090916027106,0.1878594556484912,0.0,0.0,0.10639841050538756,0.10969879666595836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16812521154703752,0.0,0.0,0.228613802509142
bipolarreddit,_no_armpits_,2019/09/02,"Older sufferers I’d love to know what bipolar looks like for 50, 60, 70 years +. 

I’m nearly 40 and while I’m in a good place *now*, I am on a LOT of medication, have had up to 3 months inpatient at a time and my depressive episodes are getting longer and much much worse.  

I can’t imagine 20 or 30 more years of this.",-0.5301086956521743,1.4760880724637708,1.9679528985507275,96.31540760869566,88.56521739130434,5.7688405797101465,20.219202898550726,7.1686216300943375,0.3491289855072468,243,8,60,4,8,83,56,69,0.127,0.7390000000000001,0.134,0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,3,0,5,3,0,0,0,7,11,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,3,3,10,10,4,13,0,2,1,1,1,6,0,2,8,33,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24415970836231984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14810587172952425,0.0,0.0,0.23776840555076034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557924285066824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13849332806089362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23805063351848355,0.0,0.0,0.2410033739249399,0.2558505100776514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28557487255067593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262699191360398,0.0,0.4167787864353453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29617480840928595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16529865510382385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28888891824187896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3651018567034608
bipolarreddit,Siksor83,2019/09/02,"How do I know if stress is leading to an episode? This past week I had a huge argument with my mom and she basically banned me from ever returning to the house. (If you want the full story I posted about it in r/raisedbynarcissist in my post history). I’m 20 and in college and financially independent so it’s not like I’m homeless or anything, but I think the stress of this argument and all the hurtful things she said to me might be leading to an episode. 

Ever since she banned me from returning to her house two days ago (I’m back at my university now), I’ve been spending like 8 hours on my laptop sorting stuff out (took out extra financial aid, separated my bank account from her, dropped my university minor, started writing an article to submit for publishing at my university, registered to take a test proving I’m fluent in a second language for my resume, confirmed ill graduate college a year early). I’ve been biking 5-6 miles a day and excessively posting on social media. But I didn’t think anything was off until a few minutes ago, I realized it’s almost 2 am and I’m wide awake and antsy. I keep getting this feeling like I should meditate and hone this inner patience, I know that sounds so dumb but it’s a thought that keeps entering my head. 

How do I know if stress from the argument is causing an episode, or maybe I’m just happy to be out of her toxic environment and in a healthier environment at school which is letting me be more productive?",4.631237096237097,6.060080402097906,6.018631368631367,76.16900932400934,70.15384615384616,9.223842823842825,32.849816849816854,9.606745405546679,3.2534334332334325,1169,55,216,27,21,395,161,286,0.158,0.8079999999999999,0.034,-0.9892,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,0,2,10,9,1,3,17,0,17,2,1,6,4,51,38,22,0,5,10,1,1,3,0,2,1,2,0,0,13,13,0,4,9,1,3,4,2,5,0,2,8,3,30,4,33,24,5,44,0,1,0,0,11,19,1,8,20,144,43,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21190424446195308,0.0,0.11968749824296104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19671856412790345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919077127529454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278558809358055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15416808713739316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162352710123628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06043567172568912,0.08538902354304541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062447127690001526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723709118258658,0.0,0.0,0.1226676209111192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11770851674366327,0.2758327017411229,0.12795449355277816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21247946888576666,0.0,0.0,0.1970642263365344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12222289674526825,0.0,0.17518232951815887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007940540428727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679764099706967,0.0,0.13998679225613142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11410059090547164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434170967610099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136960982104141,0.0,0.0,0.12096616231491784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988727084335497,0.0,0.0,0.12184117002214515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460074671700905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4107480848770165,0.0,0.13682807316958345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898682824086512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940741483074341,0.15317419688102887,0.0,0.0948898763812962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13279720113637022,0.0,0.0,0.11675902178276285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070499222218073,0.0,0.09587612673960562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697048739247475
bipolarreddit,DanSolo8,2019/09/02,"How do you tell people? I am new but wanted to hear some words of wisdom and needed a little support.  Without sugarcoating it, how did you explain the swings and a dips and every fucking thing in between?  Do you even try?  I really don’t know if I can even start.  I almost feel like only the mania could give me the courage.  I battle this daily.  I really do have family and friends that love and support me but I really don’t even know how to bring it up without sounding needy/creepy/psycho etc.  I just don’t know how to explain to them how it effects me (and my previous episodes) especially while I am still figuring this whole thing out.  I’m just so intimidated to tell anyone I have to deal with this.",3.551856866537719,5.076763914893618,4.975048355899421,82.22454545454549,72.97163120567376,7.68046421663443,25.58413926499033,8.296473431620573,1.6311787234042558,556,18,109,9,11,186,84,141,0.055999999999999994,0.755,0.188,0.968,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,3,1,1,12,9,2,0,5,0,13,2,0,6,0,34,30,16,0,4,7,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,9,8,0,0,8,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,1,3,18,7,14,28,3,9,0,0,0,2,13,4,1,3,5,84,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15403041895498254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755585295029364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281427503900663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585836304019351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715520857560504,0.3047937538086672,0.0,0.1296015897732644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14500960282401826,0.0,0.0777769773150151,0.10989040011341088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884242271396805,0.14220587309694135,0.0,0.147559988279199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17336846707470227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536094896230404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514961324369494,0.15416995990058927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13883027543452275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11405699395048335,0.0,0.14856215497737374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169884907081784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106640741376061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2956267547347058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887593651822064,0.0,0.12284237253180293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3491105512618904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688942509819837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043848781880748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443497678415337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072814532564458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17173666433312326,0.0,0.2965576557495648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nagol3,2019/09/02,"I need some encouragement to seek help. I’ve suspected that I have some sort of BPD since high school (I’m in college now). My grandma and dad have it, and I’m a lot like my dad in many ways. Through most of high school it never crossed my mind to seek help. The disease didn’t seem that debilitating at the time. However, over the last couple of years it seems to have gradually gotten worse. The lows are much lower and more frequent, and the mania is more noticeable. The destructive parts cause more issues especially in relationships. There are more days I find my self crying in my apartment for no big reason. 

Whenever I sink into a deep low i think about seeking help from the school counseling center. I keep going back and forth in my mind on if I should. I don’t really know why I’m so afraid to. Idk if I’m worried what my friends and family will think. Or if I’m worried that I’ll become dependent on medication for the rest of my life. Part of me likes when I’m manic and don’t want that side of my personality to go away. Or if it’s some other deeper concern. However, I always talk myself out of seeking help and then when I’m back up and motivated I don’t think about seeking help. The mania is kind of destructive but I like being motivated and I like it a lot more than being depressed.",2.787125144652009,4.70633912927757,4.393519590014879,83.92983633658456,75.95817490494295,7.615738138535296,23.98231112580592,8.456263369488248,1.5123329145313278,1033,33,211,20,23,346,141,263,0.1,0.785,0.11599999999999999,0.632,3,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,2,9,13,2,1,12,0,15,2,0,5,1,46,34,21,0,7,7,2,0,4,1,2,2,0,0,2,11,12,0,1,11,0,0,3,6,6,0,0,2,0,23,7,33,28,15,38,0,3,0,0,13,22,0,16,16,136,34,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005462073579057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10168405631994926,0.16644177384512918,0.0,0.0,0.11952966111652752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630976293009656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118028331228373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975256225978685,0.11888371233583858,0.06979830398574419,0.0,0.09321688152971452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202801499979824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891871113313462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08361692088756459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12301728105586547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3627157614092581,0.2286982952641989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129622330617206,0.0,0.09619829132861477,0.0,0.11270312627249607,0.0594794466652268,0.08822051458138548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644485335060586,0.21149953431875154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18402367127736646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097265153684842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902863228734057,0.0,0.0,0.2185594736522036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795602579553979,0.0802499176812058,0.08347234179426276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12321864392541325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344014176564968,0.0,0.0,0.09450078240144626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933382428706854,0.11127672415839188,0.0,0.1161966975311138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285984716819238,0.0,0.19705397036208425,0.11290572706876607,0.0,0.0,0.08952757327771106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698981289712175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20804498561001727,0.0,0.0,0.06310879568617735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06383585908736462,0.08590659183764425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765921249691303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21982219691824756,0.11029389020664684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06969548077953386
bipolarreddit,yellowpepper79,2019/09/02,"Lithium and frequent urination...does it get better? I started lithium just under a week ago for the first time. I normally drink a lot of water and I’ve noticed an increase in thirst. I’m not drinking an excessive amount of water. I’ve always had a bit of an overactive bladder, but good lord..it’s worse than when I was pregnant.

Does this side effect stick around or get better with time?

Thanks",2.711850649350648,5.255490493506496,3.6416720779220815,86.09679383116888,79.12987012987013,5.927922077922077,26.508116883116887,7.1686216300943375,1.5085857142857153,316,13,57,4,8,101,57,77,0.053,0.75,0.19699999999999998,0.885,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,4,3,4,0,0,7,0,2,6,2,1,0,11,7,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,5,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,3,4,9,5,4,13,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,8,32,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19305037458591048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18121185594616973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19387192329401204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.385220506907242,0.23776125790475336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19058227052435792,0.0,0.0,0.4266863946778007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18524503897238292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22756394376108885,0.0,0.0,0.18266499307917344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851502495803981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21337986827203007,0.0,0.2479459573585239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15414703830435775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005041686544484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539805708886801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17469137749385974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22193820128905675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sweetrthancheesecake,2019/09/02,"How to handle being the only person in your family with a mental illness? As the title says, I’m the only person in my family with mental illness. I’m pretty sure my dads dad killed himself, he drowned in a lake at night supposedly after telling his family he was going to get fresh air because he had a headache. Sounds like a suicide to me, but unsure. No one else in my family even has depression or anxiety and I have bipolar disorder. Luckily, my mom is somewhat understanding because she studied psychology in college, but she says she’s most worried about me out of all my siblings because of my mental health problems. Luckily, I’m pretty stable on meds right now but it’s hard feeling like the outkast/black sheep. My dad also makes no sense because he doesn’t seem to really believe in mental illness, but he noticed how I was manic and how I’m way better now stabilized. Any tips for being a loner when it comes to family being able to relate?",5.1524665551839455,6.45904285869565,6.66804347826087,72.46558528428095,68.78260869565217,8.922408026755852,31.54515050167224,9.265573868473778,3.103153511705685,762,32,125,15,13,261,112,184,0.20800000000000002,0.6459999999999999,0.146,-0.9127,0,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,1,0,1,9,7,1,0,9,0,10,5,0,4,2,23,21,13,3,1,5,4,2,2,0,0,5,3,0,2,2,6,0,0,3,0,0,2,3,3,0,1,3,5,17,4,23,15,3,19,0,1,0,0,20,11,0,4,7,82,19,1,0.1086225266170683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686539529143156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386704292475894,0.0,0.08309593554912757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648611361116933,0.0,0.0,0.12238039068807485,0.0,0.0960677976768008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356868858479006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09355642300913347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12449082611753642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09074018285037712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717441543871266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5119982546863351,0.0,0.05492281319933477,0.07759995471904065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056750786927963974,0.0,0.06173268508358811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730444821031699,0.0,0.0,0.11546066637560448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12017473193555812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613495953869882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725063799846355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206551398758029,0.0,0.4378638341563477,0.0,0.0,0.12721739035771296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193488293836647,0.0,0.0,0.12366746649879118,0.0,0.0,0.07360543520880983,0.16522465242158393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18969000095171626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22101632014555728,0.0,0.10393708817988363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958637198965073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276304422757416,0.0,0.1727619859097476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09888586865538787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188154139695992,0.0,0.10237544584178736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494087599498056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130798809875172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08621950566618825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11031144844254903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dabalancingact,2019/09/02,"Couldn’t hold back tears today at family party Today at my family party, I gave a gentle hello to a family member who I hadn’t seen in awhile and she I guess misinterpreted it as perhaps blame being sad and asked if I was okay. Later on, it came up in conversation and my sister agreed that it can be annoying for someone to ask that, especially when you’re actually feeling quite well. I completely shut down after our conversation. I couldn’t stop crying. I suppose after all the hard work I’ve been putting into being stable, it really hit me that it’s so hard to “be okay”. 

I was reminded of the inner conflict and turmoil that I am constantly battling. The things I’m battling all the time that no one has any idea of. The trauma caused by my episode and all the damage that came from it that still haunts me to this day. The days of depression that throw my whole life off track. I was reminded that while I actually was doing quite well, that it’s taken me a lot of hard work to get there. 

I felt like such an outsider. It ruined my whole party. I couldn’t look at anyone without wanting to cry. I hardly fit it with anyone. My views on things are often different from people I converse with. I’m so tired of being different. I wish I had someone in my life who could actually know/ understand my pain. It’s hard doing this alone.",4.3037593984962434,5.472594639097746,5.706842105263162,79.08289473684212,70.65413533834587,8.607518796992482,25.65413533834587,8.99025400887824,1.9367022556390976,1058,31,203,20,19,357,145,266,0.201,0.677,0.122,-0.9638,2,1,0,0,1,0,24.0,1,0,0,4,10,15,3,1,11,2,22,4,0,1,3,33,41,11,0,7,2,1,7,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,26,10,0,3,5,0,0,4,6,10,2,1,13,10,30,5,33,18,6,33,0,4,3,0,12,15,0,4,15,147,56,2,0.0,0.0,0.2841203659484809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10051451881300846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659973198193217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13571921625491673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18145727597117745,0.0,0.0,0.07462545022632064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219986636982812,0.0,0.09969707131563184,0.0,0.0,0.1017550659545761,0.10487655937767527,0.0,0.07748651838088677,0.0,0.21320970938205294,0.1251784270171591,0.0,0.08358901244733535,0.0,0.0,0.20279316282580884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744702743486372,0.0,0.049071389953778764,0.0,0.09318320794119284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05070461313441352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691150328374684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4346886333950177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10955762347595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05333613532303592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13709855325339562,0.04741372194783262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149754724782192,0.0,0.0,0.08250842924897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576358353568189,0.0,0.1032680297546358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728224193940884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756204331683543,0.0,0.20644921669374328,0.0,0.0,0.062172707413578325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16446027977019265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750424577366198,0.08113813557071768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289513993016333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05659062845249396,0.1115446845649201,0.1839840817151921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103246014959334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057242597395184586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17451918887663154,0.0,0.0,0.21670569147266072,0.11160269662593003,0.09355272518578556,0.0,0.14130709423348498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Knossoscrete,2019/09/02,"August: First month of all “good” days since Dx Holy shit. I can’t believe it. I can but, you know. Since I was diagnosed early this year, I had been pretty fucking unwell.  Was doing better as time went on but the depressive episodes creeped in far too often.  So after being medfree for several months, I started lamictal about 2 months ago and oh what a relief it is. On Daylio I went the entire month without a full depressive day or working up depressed. There were some moments but nothing too bad and each day averaged good. A month + a couple of weeks of good. I feel like I’ve got my life back. I still feel kinda fucked in the head with obsessive thoughts sometimes but that’s fine it’s nothing too terrible.",2.058714028776979,4.6935797050359715,2.9938084532374134,89.0718637589928,82.88489208633094,5.777158273381295,24.51483812949641,7.1686216300943375,1.2268305755395679,565,22,107,8,16,179,101,139,0.14800000000000002,0.64,0.212,0.8872,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,3,9,16,3,1,7,0,10,7,2,0,1,18,20,9,0,0,6,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,9,0,1,9,2,10,7,14,10,4,29,0,3,0,2,1,7,3,4,21,67,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088711329727858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944397960669173,0.1025482638355261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383743191727227,0.0,0.10862292580706336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358962632641523,0.0,0.2376231918928189,0.0,0.31735001658363504,0.12465812711678045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420138293036412,0.08774151513742218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10446929882301877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270873298138605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3090428308204968,0.09822912285587626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12604714833890546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749780038350013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675029343912377,0.060002883975198026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4901625188408961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356952033287841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495050332104435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13874987367357622,0.12607135948888906,0.20319335867160865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12147057355077695,0.0,0.08693152106330937,0.0,0.09808296154980202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975041191412678,0.07161641764497156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851754097410174,0.0,0.0,0.2277078410636219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11839258940824153,0.0,0.08941328408570294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909104595015166
bipolarreddit,williamson6195,2019/09/02,"Geodon and side effects? Has anyone here been on Geodon as their mood stabilizer? I’ve been on 120mg for about one week (20 in the morning, 100 at night) and it’s making my teeth and mouth feel weird. Kind of like my enamel is shredding away and metallic taste in my mouth. Brushing my teeth doesn’t help. The enamel thing isn’t all the time, but the metallic taste in my mouth is. 

For what it’s worth, I’m also on 30mg of Cymbalta, 1mg of Prazosin, and 20mg of Buspar. I didn’t notice this change until I got moved up to 120mg",2.0622025565388427,3.3327618672566395,3.195162241887907,94.51765978367752,76.34513274336284,5.730186823992135,20.52015732546706,5.82211442006289,-0.17827748279252684,413,9,96,2,9,133,71,113,0.013000000000000001,0.925,0.061,0.6072,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,1,3,4,0,0,4,0,8,7,5,2,1,10,12,9,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,5,2,0,2,0,1,1,3,1,0,1,4,4,8,2,19,8,1,15,0,0,0,0,2,10,0,0,5,54,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364985728106324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20678426370389089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27785206277070085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128476234471819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14953212257665158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23652569549434396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982244339071189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.307961712473268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444808163941691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19740490823188767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3143187055271945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27752655995707565,0.0,0.0,0.3366954036408531,0.0,0.0,0.20039718140448146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964726948326204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17244501935687367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372201768662945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bearNkitten,2018/12/30,"she's a maniac ! hello, im dealing with bipolar and am in a really shit situation. Im 23 female and oh so fucking lost. i wont go into my entire life story here, but Im kinda looking for a support group or even a penpal from this group to have someone who understands bipolar would I think just help me. so without sounding super lame lets be penpals! no idea if this is the place to ask. or if you have information on where to find a bipolar support group that would be helpful.

p.s. this guy at the library farted and I dont know why no one else is making this a big deal. 

it was loud",1.2330487804878023,3.2067114308943085,3.661158536585365,87.07027439024391,81.03252032520325,5.726016260162603,24.071138211382113,6.816661863887847,0.9189626016260162,458,17,94,5,12,159,89,123,0.132,0.742,0.127,0.3599,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,2,6,8,3,0,8,0,13,6,1,1,0,22,24,10,0,4,7,0,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,1,7,5,0,0,6,0,0,1,5,5,0,1,2,3,7,3,11,16,0,8,0,2,1,1,14,7,2,5,0,63,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14127151310789499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3115845074037989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17710488623464865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262366442046758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09980959930471853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13811577314465107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397027764042692,0.0,0.0,0.0858817643727486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14962695915212845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20257751943963467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17058970116371538,0.4896882700182458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304849171889439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15452465549289104,0.10673653045517416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268979902036084,0.0,0.1649591578593256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086999833119048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023989906578222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15788232688386833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680771854776188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15511670298906752,0.0,0.16985885458560776,0.0,0.0,0.12803869365355872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3429655345532986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682797018291744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15731536188841794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13635719151814513,0.0,0.0,0.14566883550552448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146945892058039,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sf9004,2018/12/30,"Day 3 Seroquel and Zoloft cold turkey Boy, I feel so so strange. Along with the constant sweating, chills, body aches, and weird mid day exhaustion... I’m hoping to get some relief in a few days. I will never go back to either medication as they almost killed me. Wish me luck for the next few days to get easier!",2.416120218579234,4.71198473770492,3.2700819672131125,89.72566939890713,78.672131147541,6.033879781420765,20.002732240437158,7.1686216300943375,0.42552240437158506,243,6,49,3,6,77,49,61,0.147,0.652,0.2,0.5869,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,3,6,1,0,3,0,1,5,2,0,1,12,8,5,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,2,5,3,8,7,4,11,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,4,8,27,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322185106115405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17831997896620294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25759323478705803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506060037903621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5982359745911242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725770763006894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423206967648969,0.0,0.1317964743080234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303331498137549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25656758568937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23361903645995544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17885877912912224,0.0,0.24663269747007024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.266678330978943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,blueorchidnotes,2018/12/30,"Med Trials and Compliance *Now, I just want to begin by saying that I'm not trying to attack anyone. This is just a suggestion, and everyone's mileage may vary. I really hate the term 'compliance,' and I wish we had a less paternalistic term to use. Anyway...*

As a general rule, we (bipolar folks) have a tendency to tweak our med regimens on the fly, attempting to sort of micromanage our moods or sleeping patterns. I've seen a lot of posts on the various bip subs where the op has gotten into a bad place as a result of this. 

There isn't a one-to-one relationship between an individual pill taken and your symptoms. Psychopharmacology just doesn't work that way, and isn't designed to work that way. It's not effective to take twice the prescribed dose if you're feeling twice as symptomatic on a given day, nor is it effective to, say, skip a few doses of a mood stabilizer if you're feeling depressed and want to push yourself up into a controlled hypo state. Psychopharmacology is designed to work on your mental state *globally,* evening things out across larger spans of time than a given day or week, maintaining stable serum concentrations, and so on.

People get upset when it comes to finding an effective medication regimen because they perceive the process to be trial-and-error, which seems unscientific compared to the treatment of disease processes that aren't ""mental."" The fact is, it *is* trial-and-error, and the science *is* less developed than other medical specialties. This is understandable, given that psychiatry has had far less time to develop as, say, nephrology. 

The thing is, trial-and-error *is* a scientific process, provided that the ""trial"" portion of the equation is strictly controlled. Therein lies the reason why tweaking your meds is a terrible idea. 

Each genuine trial of a medicine gets you closer to a regimen that will keep you healthy, whether or not the particular medicine on trial is effective. If your depressive states do not respond to SSRI medications, but do respond to medications that affect dopamine levels, that's useful information to have, right? 

However, if you don't take a med as prescribed you've introduced noise into the trial of that particular drug, making good information more difficult to interpret. Even worse, we usually don't tell our pdocs that we tweak our dosage, which turns the search for a med regimen that keeps you healthy into a clinical wild goose chase. Trial-and-error becomes just a big wad of error.

We've got to get beyond the seductiveness of hypomania. Yeah, I understand how good being hypo feels, especially after a prolonged depressive state. To make an admittedly exaggerated comparison, I imagine shooting meth feels pretty awesome as well. Trying to play chemist in an attempt to engineer a controlled elevated state that doesn't slip into mania isn't a tenable life strategy for this illness, otherwise we'd all be doing that.

To give yourself and your pdoc the best chance to get you stable, take your meds as directed, take them around the same times every day, and take those that are hepatically-absorbed with food. If you've messed up a med trial by upping or skipping doses, be (relatively) honest with your pdoc. You don't have to tell them that you doubled up or whatever. Just say you misunderstood the dosing instructions/whatever and they'll know that another trial period is needed to determine effectiveness. 

Again, I'm not trying to attack anyone. I had plenty of periods of ""non-compliance"" early on in my decidedly un-fantasic voyage. But the basis of the relative stability I've achieved in my 30s is mostly attributable to med compliance. 

",7.667574151762714,8.987783834621336,8.181690218591303,63.84151597114892,63.04945904173106,11.416927945830574,36.733973651284316,11.256090525403607,4.75001158460293,2939,138,447,85,42,974,316,647,0.07400000000000001,0.8270000000000001,0.099,0.9585,1,0,2,1,0,0,104.0,9,15,4,15,19,19,3,1,51,1,43,17,1,17,2,97,85,35,0,9,23,0,4,0,0,3,15,4,0,0,31,26,1,5,23,1,0,2,15,11,1,2,10,9,36,6,83,67,16,60,0,3,1,0,42,32,0,15,18,303,67,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872203828646904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09165102801469796,0.0,0.0,0.05834248642637936,0.0,0.1491172888859502,0.0,0.0,0.054721278218028316,0.03995120007174891,0.07238128853625221,0.0,0.0,0.0687778183312972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564549628228689,0.0,0.0,0.22051845600097106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679926805467953,0.0,0.1693426870475491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600297547699399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657412281701662,0.0,0.05521837542652493,0.06262412236829322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13255140898917514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059900310142949074,0.0,0.07924849945306138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13696306380455395,0.06286977532443272,0.0,0.1099398994782192,0.05241652037649744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06470495327758742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739841350067792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165059152064832,0.0,0.0,0.03601782980757669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04629124633832505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055717845779058,0.0,0.0,0.08749390524468227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5823812678450853,0.2640895261841165,0.13209326139253866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048595406298618575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04441007105180182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04543561929578302,0.0,0.06847299284586048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276704186292485,0.06667544627259522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0419851566060385,0.06738371550158961,0.0,0.07036300958604698,0.0,0.0559688747636795,0.0,0.20847297614739108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05966310015757228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06558507396537991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811880933690143,0.2463811337857681,0.0,0.11456575283322935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08708072914103895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464675563540895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13348747725587126,0.07128624517252599,0.0,0.13645420436516525,0.0,0.11320713578234474,0.07218056524242815,0.0,0.07731171815266179,0.10404162034567672,0.05257042457243634,0.0,0.058926302074983686,0.0,0.05913761966639451,0.0,0.07536517051326841,0.0,0.0,0.14313677321798762,0.0,0.06678855956138219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lunalavendermoon,2018/12/30,I think I am mixed again... I was in a mixed episode for 4 months then it started to chill out for about a week and now from all of the stress over the holidays the lack of sleep and anxiety has turned into outbursts again. I don’t know what wrong with me or how to control myself but I keep feeling pulled under by this. Please help. Help am I mixed again or just crazy. Is there something wrong my personality and ability to handle situations a or did I not stop being mixed it just got more manageable and now it’s worse again because of the lack of sleep and anxiety driven situations. Anyone else feeling anything similar please help please help.,3.2207142857142834,5.600746071428574,3.7700793650793654,86.73464285714287,76.38095238095238,7.057142857142857,24.785714285714285,8.07648339933343,1.4684571428571431,519,18,102,9,12,163,81,126,0.156,0.616,0.228,0.895,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,11,3,0,1,7,0,8,2,2,2,1,26,17,11,0,2,7,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,8,0,3,4,1,0,2,2,3,0,0,4,2,10,0,18,12,4,18,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,3,11,73,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21792069736220165,0.0,0.0,0.09959200241492708,0.14593876210984272,0.11720967811523457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682543120818623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15974997828402396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11898394184296225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14403613936588774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11391615210428498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3818775751455576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660040634499592,0.0,0.0,0.07827708801261571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136881332718908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12436642363089892,0.0,0.4690438063386485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3201998310848244,0.28507040177206955,0.0,0.0,0.1096513723721757,0.0,0.0,0.10081434189974944,0.0,0.0,0.11907981222826805,0.16315576189878345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126489099580797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15492548321956084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425063012129436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451507207111734,0.0,0.3114548043015217,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RJPisscat,2018/12/30,"This Reddit makes me feel worse Most of you have jobs, most of you have friends albeit briefly, and most of you have manic episodes that last more than a few hours - many of you have manic episodes that last for months - I can't even imagine how that must feel. Before I was diagnosed, I often cycled four times a minute for several minutes or at worst for hours at a time. Lamotrigine has been the best, although its effectiveness is diminishing.

I posted a few days ago and took it down after it was downvoted and the first response was outright mean - purposely mean - and she was upvoted. Before I blocked her I checked out her other posts across other Reddits and she's a nice person. She's consistently pleasant towards others. She's consistently kind. I brought out her worst.

I'm going to stay away for a while and then I will come back and maybe things will be better. Like most things, it's probably just me. I'm so unpleasant that even here I'm a loser.

If there are lurkers who are afraid to post because you are afraid of being a misfit among misfits - you've found someone who has at least one thing in common with you.

And if you are a person who was mean to the poster that lamented the lack of empathy - congratulations on proving them correct, asshole. Vd. pone el ""pinche"" en ""pendejo"".",4.4049595141700415,6.346486611336032,4.5617226720647785,84.35400101214577,71.55060728744941,7.3691497975708495,27.73461538461539,8.07648339933343,1.7788268825910936,1031,38,195,15,20,321,148,247,0.099,0.799,0.102,0.1553,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,7,1,5,9,12,0,2,13,0,23,2,0,3,3,36,37,16,0,4,4,0,2,1,1,3,1,0,0,2,19,12,0,1,9,0,1,4,1,5,0,3,9,2,25,7,28,23,12,35,0,1,0,1,21,12,0,8,16,146,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11301784732679812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11978704503133565,0.09803684559921688,0.0,0.0777206092835956,0.0,0.2169800560203899,0.0,0.13379958389998034,0.11276018637669075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982684124121812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822246169679098,0.0,0.0,0.1294061409469356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16842031181660114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12893200015939826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844835487905616,0.0,0.13979319885332125,0.09850338617712344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245913036309716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511165023273095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12652048318223375,0.0,0.0,0.1327678590977608,0.0,0.20785313126370167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06228829070761704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510482303417083,0.12926131699761367,0.12808724942280333,0.4166428008534056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176639336255767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863948460690811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22264984082460612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.366318863595172,0.0,0.1374626606246455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14403461791265232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802726821839456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358941761226019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541087869781116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14868832783277502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14165316831255004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992970256117525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Shylamb,2018/12/30,"Holy shit, WTF ECT? Okay, so let me preface that I am thankful for my year of ECT. It was absolutely necessary, and as hard as it was to do, and endure for that year, it was worth it, it saved my life, and I would do it again. 

BUT...

ECT erased much of my memory, big chunks of my childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood are gone. I can barely remember my mother, who died when I was 17. Much of my courtship with my husband is gone. Much of my children’s early days are gone...my short term memory now is shit, my ability to commit new information to memory is spotty at best. 

BUT...

I can remember every fucking word to every song on my iTunes playlist? Even songs I haven’t heard for a decade?  WTF is that????  Why, why why did ECT have to take my mother, but leave song lyrics?  So frustrating. 

Has this happened to anyone else?",2.2735569105691056,4.259538591463418,3.4959512195121967,89.47181300813011,77.71951219512195,7.056260162601626,21.908943089430885,8.021203637495839,0.9826874796747972,635,18,135,11,15,206,95,164,0.11699999999999999,0.807,0.076,-0.8474,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,1,6,8,4,0,1,1,21,4,2,0,1,15,28,12,1,1,3,3,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,11,5,0,0,3,3,1,2,1,4,0,0,8,5,18,4,19,18,5,17,0,0,0,1,7,4,3,0,11,87,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159405102160684,0.16352615943059864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16748738195902668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029269705265578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16563666374096692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13332295520533993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541242458561036,0.0,0.26893499563102186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14754501054708893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14113124901088095,0.0,0.14296771488124127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689903574104801,0.0,0.16319891781182355,0.11272819994783645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3519668469594805,0.0,0.0,0.15413993983281082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3615849605629223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.327648399947651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11999720858577193,0.0,0.0,0.14693563018239264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4320348624102506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11337324942314185,0.0,0.0,0.20555068780738572
bipolarreddit,indentionsofme,2018/12/30,"Lithium (or any other med.) and excessive dry mouth. Any advice on how you deal with it and/or temporary ""cures"". I have been on Lithium along with Cymbalta, Kolonapin, and Lamictal. The latter three probably 7 years. Since adding in the Lithium 6 months back I have excessive dry mouth that just is getting worse. The med. is helping me but also causing physical issues. 

​

I know they are common but peeing a lot, dehydration (which leads to drinking a lot of water)....hence peeing a lot, and really bad joint pain. However the dry mouth is killing me. 

​

I find throughout the day I need to chew gum to combat that and potentially bad breath due to being dry. I always meditate at night and deep breathing exercises are impossible. I stay hydrated, but it's not enough. It even becomes hard to sleep as I keep wanting water. 

​

I know... and I will talk to my doctor, but in the end Lithium has helped me become more stable mentally. So I am looking for advice on how you guys handle dry mouth from meds. !",3.5305555555555586,6.329848973544976,4.3283042328042365,80.86229761904764,77.7830687830688,7.166243386243386,26.91031746031745,8.238735603445708,2.2201193650793654,812,33,138,16,20,260,123,189,0.145,0.83,0.025,-0.9788,1,0,1,0,0,0,49.0,0,2,1,1,7,4,1,0,9,0,12,15,9,4,0,29,19,16,1,2,7,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,7,9,3,1,3,2,0,1,1,4,0,1,1,2,18,0,19,16,5,17,0,0,1,0,8,7,0,4,8,90,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19782186533549806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08094553207863893,0.08422308056741963,0.32901521750091484,0.3689798393464753,0.13766603081837506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778318692245142,0.16902880760971087,0.0,0.22357889458997315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398073838311643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652784735755844,0.10435329119481833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360287541459648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915698508889373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965080393249053,0.1045872333727666,0.0,0.06685480139604938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09251317155434098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05288322960315403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10022363286992407,0.0,0.0,0.09067316516061953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356911551973423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564729692378516,0.0,0.08996891414143715,0.1119848425980868,0.0,0.11125563991409902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499923846722615,0.0,0.0,0.2581606645889661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372975324352035,0.0,0.10200587044722342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079277307661896,0.0,0.0,0.07505328685157396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949880364803192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770512958461437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913219167341966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06484407153420263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08373016237885808,0.0,0.10129301809429016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788696514764183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813567361709763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059702130319102924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315174418669994,0.0,0.0,0.3689798393464753,0.0651823087468383
bipolarreddit,amerasian84,2018/12/30,"Who sleeps too much? When the hell will I ever get some damn energy? I sleep my life away, does anyone else? ",0.006212121212122668,2.347641136363638,1.215454545454545,99.4098484848485,92.1818181818182,4.751515151515153,7.333333333333332,6.42735559955562,-1.5934121212121206,83,0,19,1,3,26,21,22,0.29100000000000004,0.631,0.078,-0.7744,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,1,0,1,3,2,0,1,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,2,3,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,2,12,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22087762185193227,0.3236666190979764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2967890387410145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27643745403275205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26388554779076395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28574057586993923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650394789344472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22312243790940314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322154852504361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6322362325988553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Bubblegum-N-Orgasms,2019/07/01,"I am about to fucking lose it. This is how my life has gone lately. I really need to vent and if you don’t want to read this because it’s probably going to be a little long, it’s about my shitty luck in life and should I go to a hospital. I need advice or just support because I feel like if one more thing goes sideways I don’t know what I will do. This morning I go to the bank to get my rent money out. Long ass line on the first of the month hardly any tellers so there’s a long line. I take uber to work so between having to go to work on time and having the uber wait I had to leave and not even get it. I go to work and one supervisor told me to something and it turned out I was supposed to do something completely different so had to fix it in embarrassment even though I just did what I was told and shit is disorganized AF there. I have had my period 3 times this month. So I’m feeling like shit the whole time. Oh and I’m getting back surgery in a couple weeks so I’m in constant pain. And I go to re-up my weed and my guy is out. Oh not to mention the reason I have to have a dealer is because there is a problem processing my medical marijuana card. My doctor says she has never seen this once-the processing center can’t find me in the system even with my SSN. So it’s going to be delayed by who knows how long. Try to get a package from USPS that I have been having s problem with them back and forth since last Wednesday! I go there to pick it up and pay for an extra uber. And the lady says they fucking delivered it today already. Then I go to the pharmacy on my way home from work and they said I have no refills for my Prozac. This is the second time in a row they have fucked this up and done this same thing. I had to wait there (and buy another uber because they can’t wait 15 minutes while they check on and fix their Fuck up.) at this point in the day I have cried 4 times and just want to die. Ok so I just want to go home and lay down and relax. No! The universe won’t fucking have it. Now my AC isn’t turning on. I don’t know what’s wrong with it but it’s been doing this all weekend now. But it’s getting worse and it’s hot AF in my apartment. My landlord is being an idiot. I told him off really bitchy (sorry not sorry) and now I’m hormonal and keyed up and hot and I’m sitting on the floor writing this and rocking back and forth and trying to decide if I should put myself inpatient bc I’m very overwhelmed and I just want everything to go away. If you are still reading this—thank you and please forgive the length. But this is how crazy fucked up everything in my life is right now. And I don’t know what the fuck to do. Bc I’m in the middle of it all and emotionally not capable of handling one more thing going wrong.",1.3519698544698568,2.9346375337837856,3.1216216216216246,92.95934511434513,79.06756756756756,6.107900207900207,21.688669438669443,6.928431444225013,0.3769874220374221,2148,61,496,23,52,716,243,592,0.127,0.831,0.042,-0.9940000000000001,2,0,2,0,0,1,41.0,0,3,7,6,34,25,10,2,26,1,52,17,3,5,3,89,108,53,1,14,17,0,5,2,0,4,7,3,4,1,36,38,0,4,10,5,6,14,15,18,0,5,16,9,59,7,70,85,7,85,0,2,1,8,23,35,10,6,35,336,95,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05995025154011645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677009587325127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04171992394315995,0.06433054690166562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057640096054999125,0.14152247922443725,0.0,0.1495929174440394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643240304921184,0.06629726923207471,0.0,0.0,0.06788231549071448,0.06738980373532014,0.03956550408999586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06367133962235415,0.06409741601967793,0.0,0.06279405394192157,0.0,0.06278207963649474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069010195040275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12156276517442632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11027437290940938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06204053929042822,0.08765652666423147,0.0,0.0,0.056072546844612686,0.05218405371465844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39701789354881867,0.16026352352840306,0.0,0.4183976221900851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06074588358194045,0.0,0.0,0.05495731273283293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307757380807173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13486484088692893,0.05000822270988497,0.06920517390195559,0.06496051174039953,0.0,0.0,0.1299993976295017,0.05994476378559217,0.0614885521706289,0.0,0.21717034157746853,0.0,0.06863466142105536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06180340424278055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09793754720394313,0.0,0.0,0.09098010309494277,0.04731669814408347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12471650564823615,0.0,0.06528044409861103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734358664937634,0.05799533007767242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661453912675415,0.11740682290897066,0.0,0.061673429134102724,0.0,0.0,0.12273267531087625,0.0,0.07860442308069117,0.06307774592502162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0523923389467808,0.05835764745205329,0.0975755442080662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259492438365749,0.0507491352140899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944600473999717,0.0,0.13735201233320066,0.0,0.0,0.04899397805549228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961895287001925,0.0,0.0,0.04612736606158446,0.0,0.0,0.056482593893575475,0.0,0.0,0.12227411475094087,0.0,0.060275803684044275,0.0,0.17886762079105414,0.0,0.058152375861047725,0.1758669041972675,0.0,0.08330488666626795,0.133461790507391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05061995688928878,0.144742654166805,0.048696564481052834,0.04921105729577091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849478881142701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17865335259641818,0.0,0.06252062177562256,0.0,0.13415260995281467,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MiniFofosTakoUS,2019/07/01,"BP2 Searching for others whose symptoms present in a similar way Hi, first post. I've noticed that when I'm depressed, I feel like I may finally be able to relax and 'let go' enough to become sexually active. I also am able to masturbate occasionally. When I'm 'manic' or hypomanic I'm never sexually inclined at all. I invent new words and portmanteaus, I write in every language I've learned, and I feel a longing for more language, more color, I draw and paint, I watch movies and sit through them... But sexuality seems unimportant and I find myself pushing away even kissing from my boyfriend. When manic I barely eat and when depressed I eat normal healthy meals. I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense, but has anyone else experienced this?",4.55934782608696,6.8927052971014495,5.568913043478261,75.61902173913045,72.1159420289855,7.7884057971014515,31.06521739130435,8.59863814320734,2.7582347826086964,593,27,100,11,12,195,94,138,0.065,0.858,0.077,0.3818,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,1,7,5,0,0,2,0,6,5,0,1,2,23,15,16,0,2,4,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,7,3,0,5,1,0,2,2,2,0,1,0,5,14,3,11,12,4,19,0,2,2,1,4,4,0,4,11,61,19,1,0.3431532377199447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13720976011339486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11997036126198678,0.17580052200879126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612018813758602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894928954405116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2955573808208235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35113143048721585,0.1433302488266458,0.0,0.0,0.1772845126036047,0.0,0.11332473857938022,0.0,0.14456070142841904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735085875923452,0.12257437079619372,0.0,0.1879537993622261,0.15681792126548108,0.14594298435233613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751094648285556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17544871745590515,0.0,0.08382366930520498,0.0,0.0,0.15183990848975112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452872540331173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13233046582784785,0.1657097676565461,0.0,0.0,0.1681086573172472,0.0,0.1953411177742514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16432297270978208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15619690984297874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920659776290569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17833380250953415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361895338168122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RunningAgainstTime,2019/07/01,"Having Cancer and Bipolar I'm still processing all this.... I was recently diagnosed with cancer.  The type I have carries a 5-year survival rate of 5% to 45% depending on how advanced it is.  I still have more tests to determine that.  What's twisting up my mind is that while I'm sad, I'm more disappointed in how I feel about it.  I feel like cancer has given me an ""easy way out"" in life.  A way out that doesn't carry stigmas or judgement.  A convenient escape from the life-long battle with bipolar and other mental health issues.

Of course, I can't tell my family and loved-ones that, right?  They send their love, thoughts, prayers, and tell me to be strong and that I can ""beat this"" but why should I?  Why would I want to?  Fight one horrific battle just to resume another one?

IDK, maybe I will change my mind in time, but I can only really express these thoughts here, since nobody else would really understand.  Not sure if I'm looking for feedback, advice, or just to say I'm crazy (validation).  Thanks.",3.0173940435280637,5.246165046391752,3.8803436426116846,86.43885452462774,76.37113402061857,7.197709049255441,23.66437571592211,8.167268648758528,1.4159104238258888,785,25,153,14,18,251,125,194,0.179,0.7390000000000001,0.081,-0.9721,0,0,0,0,1,0,40.0,0,0,2,4,8,10,3,0,6,0,16,9,0,3,2,33,31,13,0,5,8,0,2,1,0,4,8,1,0,0,12,9,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,5,0,2,4,4,18,5,20,22,3,17,0,2,1,1,9,8,0,4,6,96,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14237693582009536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527797784361438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413191101656165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14788303763856062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171415179592245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13735355458319082,0.0,0.1473411979745673,0.1040885346638991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15487291993747926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15207356768347247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20582527921017035,0.07118195142634973,0.0,0.0,0.12894044224365306,0.12235180473585006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315004761294107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463758318485015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468319312964356,0.0,0.2942321341253259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19746098878337848,0.11081186853253963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18667906493513692,0.0,0.1438617607800591,0.0,0.0,0.1244275126135026,0.0,0.1158669616759354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052503837230412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327133678333332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137321087129711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546974852705597,0.13414153300686027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313399961059067,0.08495918903232548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15167945850708975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593798630247343,0.2313007020875805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629442506408206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20700304562904814,0.0,0.0,0.09382640663422062
bipolarreddit,Prisoner8612,2019/07/01,How's everyone's day going? Just thought I'd check in with the subreddit. :),1.16,3.7736293333333366,3.068333333333332,86.4225,89.0,8.333333333333334,27.5,8.841846274778883,2.9370000000000007,60,3,12,2,2,20,14,15,0.0,0.8,0.2,0.4588,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4268981661944049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6325144476472023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3761971902905884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5255084235622446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Siksor82,2019/07/01,"Manic and idk what to do I guess I’m posting this as more of a rant than anything. 

I’m so frustrated because I’m home from college and my parents don’t know I was diagnosed. I’ve been home for a few weeks and everything has been going great. But then the other day I posted here about possible paranoia or delusions I’ve been having, and a lot of the comments said it sounded like typical bp1 delusions. 

I didn’t think I was becoming manic but after looking at those comments and at my behavior, yeah, somethings wrong. I slept over at my friends house last night and only slept from 4-6 am. Even her mom saw me awake and at breakfast was like “was it too hot? Is that why you couldn’t sleep?” which was awkward. Then that friend texted our group chat of friends saying I woke up “abnormally early”. I didn’t think my sleeping was screwed up because I’ve been taking benedryl to sleep 7 or 8 hours, though I guess looking back on the past week, I’ve been taking the benedryl at like 4 am because I’m wide awake all night. 

Then tonight I was trying to talk to my sister and it was like the words could not come out of my mouth, I was jumbling them all up. She even asked if I had eaten an edible or something.

And now that I’m reflecting on all my behavior this past week, I’ve been spending 4 or 5 hours a day writing a novel, which isn’t out of the ordinary for me because I’ve actually been planning a novel for a few years. The problem I think is that I’d be writing and listening to music and become so euphoric to the point of almost crying and laughing to myself because I was just having such a fun time and everything seemed to be clicking and writing was just so beyond easy. And then I get paranoid that there’s cameras in the vents of my parents house and that they’re secretly watching me act like this and that they’re going to kick me out. Even though I’m not doing anything wrong, I just have this huge fear. Today I even got a barstool and stood on it to look in all the vents. 

I don’t really know what to do. My close friends know I was diagnosed so ill probably tell them, but then I feel weird around them because I think they’re looking at me differently. My parents work all day and I hardly see them so they probably won’t notice. I had an episode last summer too where I ended up getting hooked on a drug and giving myself my first tattoo in my bedroom next to theirs and they didn’t even notice. 

But yeah, I don’t know what to do. I can’t go on medication because I’m on my parents insurance and they get the bills so they know when I use it. My therapist at school knows this and told me to basically use 50mg benedryl as a way to sleep. So I’ll keep taking it, but I’ve been taking it and I guess I’m still having issues. 

I’m posting here because I really have nowhere else to go and idk what else to do. I live in a rural area and I’m 20 but can’t drive because my dumbass parents won’t let me practice with their cars unless I pay them $100 a month for insurance. I’m essentially trapped here and even if I could drive, there’s no free clinics or anything like that. I remember watching a lecture about bipolar and the speaker said that sometimes bp1 is easier to treat because it’s so obvious to others that they get taken to the hospital quicker, whereas hypomania is way harder to treat because you can hide it. At this point I think the only way I’ll get treatment is if I get so delusional or something that they take me to the ER. They’d do it, if they even notice anything in the first place, but it would ruin my entire reputation as their perfect, academic, non-problem causing daughter and they’d never trust me again. I’m also worried about hospitals because I wouldn’t pass a drug test. A few months ago I literally spent 3 days passing out alone in my dorm because my bladder was contracting from dehydration, and I still didn’t go to the ER because I’m paranoid about not passing a drug test. 

I’m really just ranting at this point. I guess any words of advice or personal anecdotes or anything like that would be greatly appreciated. I’m feeling really lonely and frustrated and I don’t know what to do.",4.903496378431548,5.275432554502373,5.720092104086561,82.4156796029688,68.83412322274881,8.549906107484574,31.564338728427078,8.451235370850725,2.2903299472413483,3292,132,666,46,53,1080,322,844,0.1,0.777,0.12300000000000001,0.9773,6,4,6,0,0,0,59.0,1,2,17,5,44,31,3,2,36,2,69,20,8,3,8,115,143,73,0,11,27,8,4,7,4,5,9,6,4,1,40,40,2,1,18,3,5,13,20,11,2,2,39,19,91,21,82,90,10,101,0,2,9,1,52,41,1,19,48,427,131,9,0.0,0.0,0.04543270476523333,0.0,0.0,0.04549474997418312,0.04126977946628525,0.0,0.046619893526911184,0.04821878687864602,0.0,0.037231442916579115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03166020925643494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19156132948390586,0.04144540789527374,0.04352430783612074,0.0,0.0,0.035799292705963465,0.0,0.3973281630628149,0.10283661911310286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04782664127494659,0.0,0.04010454653589093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434360647394789,0.0,0.051140440498336985,0.12010109515369585,0.0,0.0,0.0945083104090717,0.0,0.04864192961484249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16197326405723358,0.0,0.07778443709832543,0.0,0.04123549136467757,0.0,0.0,0.21525221473875192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08368446995950114,0.0,0.0,0.052389324954565,0.04708101718960751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920235246382808,0.0,0.0,0.14387862166432522,0.0,0.14594398680100312,0.04466150899984935,0.13229646472370798,0.0,0.037235712780191166,0.1026580362604272,0.20515018338017374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04170573330055402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09340049964728496,0.0,0.0916981071266222,0.10744055457076668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04859318610553421,0.0,0.041381808298811384,0.0,0.0,0.17910473439161284,0.07589998475042474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04760746541170327,0.0,0.15921704908973094,0.0,0.04111049275954242,0.0,0.15638388994074484,0.0,0.0,0.0395809124157399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046901061319103314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05452674210724003,0.07432236076852156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03590746154298438,0.0,0.0495136673903814,0.08738077487807908,0.0,0.0,0.15901561965407446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081706350851796,0.0,0.0,0.2584789920709506,0.0,0.08888743565468545,0.0,0.040651587542918255,0.04864192961484249,0.0,0.13203362657060858,0.05248577807170008,0.13376558722799442,0.0,0.10039217385593877,0.08909710829040568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11930187056939938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05273975996348265,0.0,0.08857232494299329,0.03702382286394824,0.0,0.047117950414776816,0.037099728694650655,0.04238354711617336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863616248695115,0.0,0.0,0.10752505941035584,0.04604584930090557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07436061483023783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750245355130105,0.037420579009675006,0.04069268082183938,0.0,0.0,0.05405601396681301,0.0,0.14915853481973138,0.0914836067456211,0.0,0.02714763483826477,0.0,0.044130386983159416,0.04448700174807617,0.0,0.03160899990530849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042022557738444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086382302423024,0.1120351303015708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04201025563286722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03389389285124522,0.04728067352891036,0.0,0.06614520638853891,0.10180506822566633,0.0,0.029981042127452662
bipolarreddit,Liquidsi666,2019/07/01,"I see a lot of people saying ”Maybe I’m just faking my illness” I also thought so, even tho it runs in fathers side of my family. And due to my town having a poorly managed health care, I doubted my diagnosis of “Possible Bipolar disorder” as none of the medications worked and went to see another doctor. 

Now after a year of going to a better doctor, I finally got confirmation that I’m not actually Bipolar, it’s “Random depression and anxiety.” So maybe I was faking it after all like a placebo effect. So if you know you have a bad doctor diagnose you, I suggest having a confirmation from a better one. 

I’m actually kinda relieved as it’s not something that’s gonna stick with me my whole life. So maybe it’s time I say goodbye to this sub. I hope y’all stay properly medicated and wish you strength through depression or mania.",5.079152258784163,6.04656674233129,7.201360847741218,69.82522030117124,68.69325153374233,10.099051868377025,33.22308979364194,10.230975488527342,3.7007595092024537,661,30,115,17,11,235,100,163,0.152,0.715,0.134,-0.4754,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,5,0,5,9,13,0,1,9,0,4,11,0,1,1,20,18,14,0,3,5,1,0,1,0,1,11,2,0,0,8,5,0,0,3,0,1,3,3,6,0,1,4,4,19,7,17,13,4,14,0,2,2,0,9,3,0,7,8,79,27,5,0.0,0.0,0.2507136584161689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272810423639286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13469979115413785,0.09827029394239556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10725736505267744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272219610673104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097185951867202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22128199480637947,0.13038253156964325,0.0,0.0,0.1472244098926978,0.3944477247159624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484553538847013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210991094895926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14071985459745665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07300584642230715,0.0,0.1027398855416514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365452299024587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275881365534037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059735528626061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073393877004443,0.0627582661083698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921070412248376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3871610663759516,0.0,0.0,0.2588165667810218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704670939592826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08905685254254038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448174998954135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20431048793458276,0.0,0.0,0.20472936302927186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889352158497436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13691952003808966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198158905593976,0.07490510286387354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908218686905205,0.0,0.1434191716440563,0.14772077460967922,0.0,0.0,0.09351921615289814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08272297229214208
bipolarreddit,thesuninthegalaxy,2019/07/01,"Does anyone hallucinate? So of course I go off my meds for two weeks because I tell myself I don't need them. And for the last two days I have been hallucinating spiders and cockroaches shadows climbing up the wall and disappearing into the ceiling. Is this withdrawal or another symptom of bipolar disorder, or possibly another disorder?",7.978220338983053,9.699022372881359,8.762500000000003,58.511207627118644,62.5593220338983,12.679661016949156,43.5635593220339,12.161744961471696,6.446454237288138,276,17,39,10,4,93,46,59,0.1,0.8809999999999999,0.019,-0.6843,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,4,2,0,0,0,7,6,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,1,0,7,0,7,5,0,10,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,2,3,30,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4467020579347429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14893585757504124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12984396078751576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373685826675992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4882371851790061,0.0,0.1863993687410701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12105386934414185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17362495015246152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365970558132681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15793818504974402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401276003250077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213904962190964,0.0,0.0,0.18617301973100472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.416143746316568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17085724920672365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,islandrain,2018/12/14,"May I post here? (this is a throwaway account for obvious reasons).

I am a 17 year old girl living in the united states. I'll try to not make this too long, but I've been on psych meds since the age nine, so i'll try to condense it the best I can.


Basically, grades 4-8 I was on antidepressants but they weren't doing anything for me except making my mood swings worse.


Grade 6 I was put on depakote. It made me very tired so it was discontinued. 


Grade 9 through 11 (current grade) I have been on mood stabilizers. Grade 9 I was on lithium and risperdal. lithium made my suicidal thoughts go away. risperdal didn't do anything except give me side effects, so it was discontinued. lithium was helpful, but was discontinued because my parents and I learned of the long term side effects. 


Grade 10 I learned a family member takes paxil and that it worked for them so i asked to be put on it. it has been helpful, but it made my mood swings worse, so I asked to take lamictal in conjunction and it has been the perfect combo of medicine for me. lamictal has made my mood swings go away and made me able to handle school to the point that people around me who don't think i have bipolar agree it has been very helpful.


When I'm depressed I am sad, cry a lot to the point classmates and teachers call me a crybaby, have suicidal thoughts and cut myself. I have severe fatigue to the point I sleep for days on end, only getting up to eat, brush my teeth, and use the restroom.


Everyone agrees I have depression. What people don't agree on is that I have mania. I agree, I definitely do not have full blown mania, nor have i ever had it. I do think i might have hypomania. I don't do impulsive or risky things during those times. However, during those times I have so much energy - more energy than a cup of coffee mixed with an energy drink could give me. I also talk really fast and have racing thoughts. I have really bad insomnia and due to that I tend to stay up late and draw, color, and do other artsy things. I also am very irritable. People think that that because I tend to be snarky that that is normal, but my snarky self and irritable self are very different. When I'm snarky I do it mainly to tease others, but the irritableness i experience makes me so angry I tend to lash out which makes me feel regretful later on. The problem is that my symptoms aren't those that can be seen by others, and those that are are treated as me just misbehaving.


I have been diagnosed by one doctor as bipolar, and it shows up in the list of health conditions i have at the doctors office. however, my therapist and my family don't believe i have it. my therapist has never seen me when in an episode that might be hypomania because she is newer and i have been on a mood stabilizer since i've started seeing her, so i don't display symptoms so that might be why. my parents don't believe i have it because i don't fit the stereotypical image of someone who has it because i don't have impulsive or risky behavior.


it's not that i want to be bipolar, it's just that i want a proper diagnosis because the treatment for depression vs bipolar is different. I would have thought the fact that only mood stabilizers help and not antidepressants would mean it is more than just depression.


I'm not asking you guys to diagnose me. I just have one question: am i allowed to post here? since i'm on mood stabilizers anyway, unlike the people that post on /r/depression. Thank you.",4.456494845360822,5.7306482282768805,5.454933726067747,80.63450662739324,70.39911634756996,8.665095729013256,29.32106038291605,9.070445807138313,2.3959054491899847,2733,105,532,53,49,900,267,679,0.152,0.772,0.077,-0.9958,8,0,1,0,0,1,73.0,0,2,2,5,24,22,2,0,27,0,88,18,2,14,5,85,131,43,2,8,20,2,1,0,0,6,14,0,0,4,51,21,2,0,15,2,1,4,18,11,0,3,28,6,77,4,62,90,8,62,0,7,4,0,27,31,0,8,22,371,128,13,0.061278618044294624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098008977421335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008541627476312,0.054550961880893034,0.1718617075980978,0.0,0.11514655764273896,0.0,0.05116508645740033,0.22412926075339584,0.0,0.0,0.13808003644628342,0.06430812904719077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625723203834535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04892599022183732,0.0,0.0673116844994302,0.03951963918498368,0.0,0.2638959196455617,0.12439301482036545,0.0,0.12804622673456398,0.0,0.12544252433142206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06002971666986937,0.0,0.06270332448307915,0.0,0.0,0.05427466712979162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05543001828815606,0.0,0.058554345578808224,0.0,0.05994224689222673,0.1155360548696329,0.0,0.030984310499654038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03201554874645497,0.11756806839253095,0.06965210160175926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060675466074456424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513630546371983,0.0,0.0,0.16429506390903945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06912495026269283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05411014240943847,0.10845929728709433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05209688971714081,0.0,0.2899165502425521,0.1636158135233362,0.0,0.0,0.06675037949269175,0.06806673037163992,0.0,0.0,0.19502078989585706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045046835070716496,0.0,0.04726184794273301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06004003500086495,0.0,0.0,0.06430160146440783,0.0,0.0830479549798281,0.09321030068594116,0.0,0.0,0.13608530700533428,0.0,0.0,0.16993151221737146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17378430315486612,0.0,0.1760639313356045,0.0,0.0,0.05863536161025418,0.0,0.12320387280477868,0.06864607648017157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851330369573573,0.06300462528895813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06201723297010686,0.04883112481187934,0.0,0.12785392598041384,0.069227396124892,0.0,0.1520709182460204,0.0,0.0613228727293894,0.0,0.05192117421229909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043373321251067895,0.06531485345564844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340577244365765,0.0,0.0,0.1273838946236264,0.09214778910239686,0.049253431991207686,0.0,0.05641711845320505,0.0,0.1422983971969984,0.08142158188488413,0.11779459236190412,0.0,0.1945935113564484,0.07146410994244137,0.07043075699304317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320831843588958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052925051081774886,0.0,0.20224511001035805,0.07228743319354493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055294421505656055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044611563761065,0.0,0.1248962939318737,0.08706114417844737,0.0,0.0,0.03946142092211435
bipolarreddit,PestoPastaPenne18,2018/12/14,"Is this normal? And I mean in the context of BP.

Yesterday morning I was hyper and wanted to listen to music. Then once evening hit, I felt tired and bored beyond belief. Then night time hit and while I was helping my mom cook I noticed I felt a bit wired. Then I started to dance and listen to music then shortly went to bed.

This morning it was incredibly hard to get out of bed. I slept for awhile but felt beyond exhausted and got out of bed. Then used the bathroom and went back to sleep and STILl woke up feeling tired and up until like 2 pm today I felt so tired and empty inside. The clock strikes 3 o’clock and I start feeling hyper, got the urgent to move faster, had a lot of thoughts in my head and felt way less tired. 3:30 rolls around and now I feel completely normal although less energetic. This has been happening since Monday, is this rapid cycling?",2.493117647058824,4.863634076470589,3.2335294117647067,89.69088235294117,78.82352941176471,5.411764705882354,22.94117647058824,6.522977012572876,0.6001176470588239,683,22,133,6,17,215,100,170,0.14400000000000002,0.779,0.078,-0.9168,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,6,0,8,9,3,1,0,33,34,23,0,3,1,1,9,1,0,0,5,2,3,0,5,16,1,0,11,2,0,4,0,2,0,0,17,11,13,1,23,15,4,35,1,0,0,0,4,10,0,1,21,84,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09973324491940116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614656746549566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231116999339152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11746461331391884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399683081288645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16994196185584365,0.0,0.5378469064650269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05853269042864673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17920626921269944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990705336351318,0.0,0.1003596857899836,0.0,0.11497832079727087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509345061442503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547337320469336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952465672932251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203693054841172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312118567871191,0.0,0.11907349525717932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513551035839017,0.2195373760332548,0.0,0.12755046977334455,0.0,0.11931163523883548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267496918852557,0.0,0.1121140466493519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15859526293030438,0.0,0.08946980845213345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08894179707689337,0.06532742351453323,0.515062443986442,0.10619431480806568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096760660122462,0.0,0.0,0.06608004726871593,0.08892668995895818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20771168204037802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,IamAshortDude,2018/12/14,"Some questions i guess I dont know, my house is a fucking disaster, like a utter utter disatster. Broken dry wall every where, things dogs have broken and ive broken every where, a bag of cat litter my youngest dog tore into a billion pieces and spread every where in the laundry room. This house is a broken and messy as my damn life right now, and i want to get it better. but everyday it seems i just make it worse, and i never clean anything. ive got dishes pushing a month old. I dont know how to do anything, i dont have the energy to do anything and im fucking ashamed.  I had my first therpist apointment today, im getting signed up for food stamps and shes going to fill out a thing for me to give to them next week. I have my disabilty interview on jaunary 3rd. I dont renember where i was going with any of this. sorry ",3.508701550387599,4.321149133720933,4.81860465116279,86.0448062015504,72.19767441860466,7.128682170542637,26.54263565891473,7.1686216300943375,1.2325217054263562,649,21,134,6,12,216,103,172,0.18100000000000002,0.7879999999999999,0.03,-0.9717,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,2,8,6,3,1,9,0,16,5,0,2,1,23,30,10,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,7,10,2,0,4,0,0,4,5,4,0,2,3,0,21,2,17,27,2,25,0,0,0,2,5,12,3,4,10,87,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066266256271101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928315493129727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490584217700176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5560663099868588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2998162284515113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089435258018976,0.14343043134299985,0.0,0.0,0.21931638652565635,0.1239434907608658,0.1137868736374229,0.1348239363273204,0.0,0.09486771584303788,0.0,0.1306684352797658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27373290961843016,0.0,0.0,0.2562503639718158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13037604247382165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378169272017094,0.05794958135861364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917682136405141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467782507338976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09148364846440744,0.0,0.12614901602840425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12446709894196617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287659713988087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10129705804576948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10798317002746248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327804316977756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576058427422964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124337014058408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996254288115954,0.0,0.09514626427438183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087941062329635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwaway_duckingoff,2018/12/14,"What can I do to help my bipolar friend? I try to show that I'm there for him, it's hard when he's telling me how much he hates me or when he doesn't trust me anymore. I always feel like there's more I could do. I don't know what specifically to ask, so what things could a friend do for you that would be helpful?",1.8564788732394388,2.3223966197183152,2.911380281690142,99.48115492957749,75.76056338028171,6.2433802816901425,21.242253521126766,5.6839178017228535,-0.35456281690140834,244,5,66,1,5,78,46,71,0.096,0.701,0.203,0.8298,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,6,5,1,0,1,0,10,1,0,1,0,7,15,5,0,3,1,0,2,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,11,4,5,11,2,2,0,0,0,0,11,0,0,1,3,43,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21427351312581824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553861652056853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24074221696832585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4112103219963391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13020756697644228,0.1839691143419208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3979116507060328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306832938703888,0.25424322840014685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3452144035619896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415237762549664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258090586376273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893035120020683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250798848386059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17108184603175705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17483611093845713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18293161246540346,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nietzsches_madwoman,2018/12/14,"DAE’s mania often surface in the form of a rage episode? The tiniest things will set one off. From not being able to find something I’m looking for to forgetting my phone/wallet/keys when I leave the house, sometimes I become so filled with rage I start screaming in gibberish, kicking things, throwing stuff against the wall, smacking my arms or legs until I get bruises. Does this happen to others? How do you help yourself calm down?

Also, I’m on Lamictal and Abilify. I function well other than these episodes.",4.8844473684210525,7.145727800000002,4.567565789473687,83.46608552631581,71.0,6.434210526315789,31.875,7.1686216300943375,2.144184210526316,411,19,69,4,8,125,79,95,0.121,0.805,0.07400000000000001,-0.6641,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,0,6,5,2,0,5,0,3,2,2,1,0,8,9,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,7,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,3,1,1,0,2,8,2,15,7,1,14,0,0,1,0,2,8,0,2,3,49,15,0,0.253691200950975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20287676174438832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801819999449585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220068795470328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318691616655731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325431817787029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22433829117288984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700438644164319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29272558466478515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686223516893849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21303671503717966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17190772334426604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953038807227468,0.2509070846077259,0.0,0.1795639377745455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904157300008126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3370823225284465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22809885674335015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cadogan301,2018/12/14,"Seeing a new doctor soon for a new treatment plan I just moved to a different city/county and getting my health insurance setup and new doctors soon. When I was seeing my previous Psychiatrist, I guess he was still treating me as having TRD and anxiety disorders as I guess my issues don’t come out as clear to be labeled bipolar. Previous doctors said I’m either Bipolar 2 or Bipolar NOS. Right now, I’m on Seroquel and Luvox and while it helps a lot with my anxiety, it doesn’t really do anything for my depression, so I hope to change it to something else.

The dose of Luvox has me getting the twinges of the ‘high’ feeling coming through. I guess I just want to know everyone’s opinion. If you develop hypo-mania symptoms from Anti-depressants (and only on Anti-depressants) but it’s not 100% obvious that it’s bipolar, do you really think you can have it still in some form?  It’s frustrating not knowing what’s going on. Ever anti-depressant I have taken makes me feel high, But I couldn’t give 2 shits to do anything while on them. No motivation, still depressed, low Self-esteem etc. etc. 

One of my other posts a while ago, someone mentioned bipolar 3 but it’s just not obvious from my symptoms. Has anyone experienced that? I read about people with bipolar in their hypomanic phases being still motivated to do everything. I guess just the traditional symptoms that someone with true bipolar 2 would have. Right now, I’m at 200 mg of Seroquel and not sure if I can handle going up any higher because of my depersonalization disorder. I guess my new goal for when I see the doctor is to try a mood stabilizer and lithium is out of the picture because of my hypothyroidism.

So that should leave me with Depakote, Lamictal or Topamax? I have been on 200mg of Lamictal by itself without any improvement in mood. I was told I needed to be on an anti-depressant while on it, but never got to that point. Are those 3 good for treating hypomania symptoms? (Or whatever I have going on). I’m 100% positive if I was to switch to something like Prozac and stay on the Seroquel Those hypomanic symptoms will come back for sure. I don’t want that at all.

I kind of want to retry lamictal but the slow build up sucks. Does anyone know at what dose it’s effective for hypo-mania? Anyone have a mood-stabilizer/anti-depressant combo that could possibly help with depersonalization disorder? Sorry that my post was kind of half rant half questions. Thanks
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bipolarreddit,seasonschange23,2018/12/14,Question about lamictal/vraylar combo... Hey y’all!! I just started on vraylar and was wanting to see some first hand accounts of its efficacy. I really appreciate any insight as this medicine is EXPENSIVE.,4.408857142857143,7.859735028571433,5.682857142857145,66.78714285714287,84.42857142857143,8.514285714285714,41.285714285714285,8.841846274778883,5.451114285714287,166,12,22,5,5,55,33,35,0.0,0.8109999999999999,0.18899999999999997,0.7768,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,6,5,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,3,0,5,4,1,3,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,2,2,16,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32660887279700485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4085284284061429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5380268172925485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3076815534733559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3827233254174321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33994674109102113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28328332517740346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,maggie05mae18,2019/01/04,Question for Daylio users Is buying the premium app worth it? Right now the app doesn't seem to do enough to warrant paying for it. Is the premium version that much better?,3.766363636363636,6.097911090909093,4.075757575757578,85.43363636363638,74.45454545454545,6.824242424242425,26.15151515151515,7.793537801064563,1.6248060606060617,138,5,25,2,3,43,25,33,0.0,0.853,0.147,0.6322,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,5,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,17,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3877235756946015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4529778514324645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222697898910312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4911012418381799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3743857990919362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3990971325242781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lostnfound21,2019/01/04,"Bipolar documentary and how it made me feel I just finished watching a documentary about Mauro Ranallo called Bipolar Rock N Roller. For anyone who doesn’t know, Mauro is an insanely successful play-by-play announcer and has called some of the biggest fights in boxing, kickboxing, MMA, and professional wrestling. The documentary is a brutally honest look at his life and struggles with bipolar disorder.

I also work in broadcasting (radio) and the documentary hit me pretty hard. Hearing him talk about everything and seeing the things he’s gone through (and still goes through) was a little weird for me because I kept saying over and over, “That’s me. I do that. That happens to me, too.” It was a relief in a way because it was a reminder that I’m not the only one, but it was also uncomfortable to watch at times because I felt like I was watching myself. I can’t tell if I feel better or worse after seeing it. 

Has anyone else ever watched something like this and felt that way? Has a movie or documentary about bipolar disorder ever made you uncomfortable or even triggered an episode? Also, does anyone have any recommendations for similar documentaries or specials? Thanks. 
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bipolarreddit,grey_rain,2019/01/04,"On Therapy My therapist is very talented.  In fact, she was booked for the entire month of December and for all but the last week of this month.  That means it'll be almost two months between appointments, when I'm used to seeing her twice a month.  This has never happened in our quite lengthy time together, and I'm scheduled through March from here on out.

Therapy is an interesting thing for me.  Because I come from a very traumatic background, therapy has been a godsend for PTSD-related issues.  What I'd never noticed before, though, is how much it helps me regulate my mood in between sessions.  Knowing I'll have someone to help me sort through random thoughts and make sense of any major shifts or psychotic issues allows me to keep the jumble in the background.  It's like static; I can tolerate the static when I know there will eventually be someone who can help me understand how the radio works. (bad example but best I can do.)

My therapist, pdoc, and I constantly assess whether therapy is beneficial to me, because it has been ongoing for quite some time.  We were all of the understanding that, yes, in fact, I get a great deal of benefit from therapy.  Now I'm one month into not having therapy, and things are falling absolutely apart.  Suspicion confirmed.

I will go on through this month doing the best I can, and I will try not to break any more aspects of life.  Then, I will spend a couple of sessions picking up the pieces and hoping this sort of break in our therapy journey does not happen again anytime soon.",7.588776315789473,7.646151042105267,7.54564692982456,72.69004934210527,63.140350877192965,11.195175438596491,37.46162280701755,10.820120047756994,4.1767938596491225,1217,56,213,29,16,391,162,285,0.036000000000000004,0.782,0.182,0.9939,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,3,0,0,5,10,10,0,0,15,1,27,1,0,6,6,43,46,17,0,1,7,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,0,14,11,0,1,6,2,1,4,5,1,0,3,5,1,24,8,38,34,9,40,0,0,1,0,10,13,0,7,22,155,38,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015082080179735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886304393617313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683199333890735,0.09758610997492458,0.0,0.06811011842402104,0.0,0.16799895200793993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894937074191361,0.0,0.08649731172919528,0.0,0.0,0.08856530399986982,0.0,0.0,0.08252011666707736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07004557311290645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041818808267743465,0.0,0.045489894697680035,0.0,0.0,0.08824693972568015,0.0,0.0,0.14156231742400682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16095203844607425,0.0,0.0,0.0795000836359612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670867716368683,0.0,0.07114529121560002,0.0,0.0,0.08797833092242399,0.06524517342664883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05653625733313746,0.039104634170865696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05342886974614868,0.0,0.0,0.08718955104941252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3833340942371939,0.0,0.05884031455495655,0.0,0.12346714236564475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112871116721408,0.0,0.0,0.054238747144919365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356518804268202,0.0,0.0,0.1702697185965096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637833654571467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13563919498088653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6407475760326109,0.18587060419657486,0.10635312074972222,0.0,0.07864117242500482,0.06354466079910115,0.09334664026456244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054343480764750415,0.0,0.07818971546139535,0.16665375470330548,0.0,0.06913086454575743,0.0,0.13208659244905727,0.0,0.0,0.06420512055383762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058271761831187235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,egr3gious,2019/01/04,"I know I am getting depressed when... I don't want to exercise.
Don't want to hang out with friends.
Don't have sex drive.
Eat too much.
Binge watch too much.
Spend the day in the same clothes I woke up in.


Feel free to add yours. ",-1.886349206349205,-0.23573451020408245,-0.7034013605442162,109.8027664399093,108.3877551020408,2.994104308390023,15.648526077097506,5.033348758259628,-1.3161174603174604,175,5,46,1,9,53,35,49,0.11699999999999999,0.753,0.13,0.3931,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,5,3,0,0,0,8,11,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,1,2,2,3,1,0,0,1,2,5,3,8,10,3,8,0,1,1,1,2,4,0,0,2,26,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24058866532860546,0.0,0.3213104593187435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38172689478355903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886270741072794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882202323903969,0.0,0.1949050725543888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050204642593267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5484745382523397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4400732757366364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lost_frisson,2019/01/04,"How much value do you place on having sex? I've been realizing that my hyper sexuality has affected how much value I put on having sex. When I was growing up I used to put so much priority on having sex. It would constantly be on my mind and I would feel like I was missing out on such a massive part of existence if I wasn't able to regularly have it. Haha, that sounds so dramatic.

The older I get though the more I realize that the importance I was putting on sex is mostly based on the emotions created by the mania/hyper sexuality. When I step back for a moment and stop listening to my emotions and look at it logically I don't really care as much about it. I put more value on non-sexual intimacy like snuggling/holding hands/sleeping together, and the most value on having a verbal connection with someone where we can comfortably share our deepest fears and darkest secrets.

Its confusing because my feelings and even my thoughts can be so drastically influenced/manipulated by the chemical reactions going on in my brain/body. So there are times where sex seems like the ultimate high. Then other times where I choose to not base my actions on achieving highs and chasing feelings and instead I do things that align with the values I have built over years based on logic and philosophy.

How do you value sex, do you base a lot of your actions/decisions around it? Or maybe it just seems like a bonus to being alive but doesn't matter much? Do your feelings on it drastically change based on your mental state?",6.084676535087715,7.134543392361118,6.997273391812867,71.89348684210529,66.46527777777779,10.22982456140351,32.866228070175445,10.307518312809881,3.5533583333333336,1219,51,213,30,19,407,158,288,0.047,0.836,0.11699999999999999,0.9257,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,2,6,0,2,21,12,0,2,14,1,28,6,0,5,0,46,42,24,0,3,5,0,4,4,0,2,0,2,0,0,14,14,0,1,13,0,1,8,4,3,0,0,6,7,30,9,34,31,11,46,0,1,1,6,11,26,0,8,15,164,44,1,0.11326966228491712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10083401399652543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709737857810965,0.0,0.06904813479789014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581705998103848,0.0,0.126446403636392,0.0,0.0,0.1154859697267382,0.0,0.1198242836762022,0.0,0.0,0.12240426514526033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548262487815776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481354366756042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745986091114175,0.2290901784952107,0.08091986936869346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059178723510963586,0.0,0.06437375937691009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393512342800251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22135134208308335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511798862591464,0.0,0.0,0.09629781631318178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379460024258242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141491782743045,0.0,0.11437006935669253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4163311737689785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266000620655455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183426888690448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4554691835479627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256344609518428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20623289286637592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11335146428037965,0.0,0.09597301728006294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09469850954992637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525133053863982,0.0,0.11128686809344357,0.08992345951016956,0.1320969019376602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782862038617364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609270364436582,0.0,0.0,0.07294194881973218
bipolarreddit,JanusOf_Oz,2019/01/04,"How FMT cured my Bipolar 1 Disorder (fecal microbiota transplant) Hi all. I experimented with home FMT under the guidance of my excellent psychiatrist. It was a phenomenal success. After 18 years of hell: continuous unrelenting and completely debilitating depression, interdispersed with frequent psychotic/ manic episodes. I had been hospitalised over a dozen times and had extremely low functionality. Then in November 2016 I started home FMT. No improvement for 3 months, then I experienced an exponential decrease in all my symptoms. Within 6 months I was 100% symptom free, and was so well my psychiatrist agreed to take me off all medication. That was 14 months ago and I'm still 100% symptom free. No depression in any level for 19 months, no mania for 14 months. My intense anxiety and social phobia has completely disappeared. My stress tolerance is still increasing. I am now a highly functioning completely well person. It was miraculous. There is currently a clinical trial underway in Canada headed by Dr Valerie Taylor of the Womens College Hospital trialling FMT for bipolar depression. My psychiatrist is soon to write my case study up in the Australian New Zealand journal of psychiatry and ill soon be featured in a feature length documentary. Here is a link to my story on Australian National TV. since then (June 2017) I've also been able to lose 18kgs. The weight was a side effect of the anti psychotics I was on which I am gratefully no longer on. Targeting the microbiome to treat mood disorders is the medicine of the future... the near future.  https://youtu.be/GMjy5yEhZ5Q",6.2704414125200625,9.72489809737828,6.7349210807918665,63.760744382022466,71.77153558052434,10.406046013911183,35.378410914927784,10.290406445055957,5.079933226324238,1300,69,178,44,28,421,166,267,0.159,0.727,0.113,-0.917,1,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,4,12,15,1,1,17,0,20,11,1,2,3,15,23,12,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,0,2,2,4,8,1,0,2,1,2,2,4,7,2,1,11,2,18,9,34,11,4,47,1,5,0,0,5,20,1,0,25,122,22,3,0.11610274240385322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10291807590239743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284732115359594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895384616730182,0.0,0.08881828015176707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3651945493899826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2999973657162714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661276029293917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357076044054708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915490934834788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266892183256065,0.2329210341401023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12988927081856053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696129834388362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4633605065099088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213275209562223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137643637550564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960413882891026,0.0,0.0,0.11835212471761047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08217811865098296,0.0,0.18543960011948712,0.0,0.1329952991533943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3620256129110798,0.08729481312312555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770044276920856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14138186198698066,0.20878061759977504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747663595301467
bipolarreddit,GuyFromTheBayou,2019/01/04,"20 days. My birthday is in 20 days and I'll be turning 21. I absolutely dread the day. I have no plan for my life, my meds aren't working, and everyone keeps telling me to push on and keep fighting. I'm just so tired of fighting though. My mom tells me things will get better but I just don't see it happening.  Anytime I pick myself up and get better and I eventually fall even lower than the last time. I tell her what happens when I'm 50? 60? I'll still have to get up in the morning and take medicines I hate and live my life as a lie to stop everyone around me from feeling bad. I know I should check into a hospital at some point but now isn't the right time so I'll just continue to be a sad loser. ",1.3969433198380583,2.8671151315789523,3.1765789473684234,93.11336032388668,78.60526315789474,6.519028340080973,23.534412955465587,7.321109707123232,0.7102827935222664,548,18,130,7,13,183,96,152,0.214,0.7390000000000001,0.047,-0.9790000000000001,1,0,0,0,4,0,13.0,0,0,0,5,12,9,3,1,7,0,10,3,0,1,0,22,25,14,0,1,5,1,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,9,0,3,2,0,1,2,4,7,0,0,0,2,19,2,17,21,1,23,0,2,1,0,7,10,0,1,11,77,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181586657191774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363430409045813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26191608396149785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864834261118365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780045144483987,0.0,0.0,0.28297912769620964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07486987576062895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320852184606988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618799429099261,0.0,0.0,0.14619088095505328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632271799570269,0.0,0.0,0.08137674170120568,0.12069880320581293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20917588963165853,0.0,0.0,0.13075067910999125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644751025333874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17342065447566635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13997631894479395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264530564246539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799456528032125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182508434642064,0.1237951917675588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133204855067093,0.0,0.3882655226281582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837275094475988,0.0,0.14548042247249476,0.0,0.17268446340912627,0.17018748975727793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16106029683757256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779850131942124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PryceTheHippo,2019/01/04,"I’m becoming hopeless Everytime my pdoc prescribes me a new med I immediately get online to see what side effects are the most common for a lot of people, if they liked it, how long it took to work, etc. I know it’s anecdotal information but it eases my anxiety about new meds.

And everytime I look there are people who say it doesn’t work, it made things worse, but then there are also a lot of people that say it’s their miracle drug and it gave them their life back. 

I know everyone is different and it takes time to find the right combo of meds but I’m so tired of getting my hopes up thinking “maybe this time this one will work” and so far it never has. 

People sing praises for Lamictal from the mountain tops and I’ve been on it for months and the only effect it’s had is making me stupid. Rexulti made my existing sleep problems worse and unbearable hand tremors. SSRI’s didn’t work for obvious reasons. Latuda made me hypomanic. 

I’ve been on 450mg of Wellbutrin daily for three years and it doesn’t even keep me afloat anymore. I want to die every day and everything makes me cry. 

So now I’m on Lamictal, Wellbutrin, and I’m starting lithium but I don’t want to take it in the first place because I doubt it’ll work and it’s incredibly high maintenance compared to every other option It seems. 

But I’m taking it. Because I have to. And it’s not going to work again just like nothing else has. I’m going to be anxious and suicidal until I die which might be sooner rather than later if I can never find any reprieve from this awful disease 

",3.423557692307696,5.0651392147435885,4.707969230769233,83.53703076923078,73.51923076923076,7.6843076923076925,26.26205128205128,8.364918446050245,1.7652457435897442,1233,43,242,21,25,408,174,312,0.166,0.738,0.096,-0.9817,1,0,1,0,0,2,21.0,0,0,4,11,14,8,1,1,8,1,21,5,2,9,3,53,52,27,3,7,10,0,1,2,0,3,3,2,0,0,28,13,0,1,10,1,0,3,7,4,0,3,9,5,23,4,29,38,4,33,1,1,2,0,10,11,0,10,21,152,51,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071876071771978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06112068978712702,0.0,0.06875706266518182,0.1015375004081358,0.08913565302613533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911127612446294,0.0,0.10957860702125613,0.09926411169078712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987276797180542,0.05796441299966518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18656008111092245,0.0939042527026819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423091380587793,0.0,0.07508223353240699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002386592753544,0.05936412276313718,0.0,0.15145358963807673,0.08588307838966318,0.08077730135904307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16429525355477614,0.07645089102448713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391596321332636,0.0,0.10216042622861517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949619237289843,0.0,0.08926996296030726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988843811409531,0.0,0.0,0.0987901142182174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06348407910052332,0.08782051752283894,0.0,0.0,0.07953994053659523,0.0754755847265109,0.0,0.0,0.1528235426152263,0.0,0.2551365801955423,0.11998964039057408,0.0,0.09029537016185914,0.0,0.29950537141779465,0.0,0.0,0.09534724036093664,0.0,0.0,0.07174042849790159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13864019660993693,0.1736110775728549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624116610186762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06090422458939695,0.06835690401287628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249242669188338,0.0,0.0939042527026819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600190656732813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241041154358468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675603388805358,0.0,0.1429505139193597,0.0,0.0,0.07162179473818342,0.08182231565128373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899437442881021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361670192371954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09831285742089492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027330947862088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059711504163413184,0.05759072823541887,0.0,0.0,0.10481814279648416,0.10330249897056333,0.0,0.0,0.0998586926100759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060257309714624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3925971734159701,0.0,0.18318842258928109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05787902286193429
bipolarreddit,sleepybook,2019/01/04,"I CAN'T. STOP. MASTURBATING. I'm wasting so much time on this and it's really cutting into important things

I just went two hours and bled, y'all. I'm sure I'll come back to it in several hours :(",0.3612195121951203,2.6762851219512207,2.8616585365853666,89.15102439024393,88.02439024390246,7.182439024390242,20.39512195121951,8.238735603445708,1.2538448780487808,154,5,34,4,5,53,33,41,0.171,0.6709999999999999,0.157,-0.1528,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,7,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,1,0,3,1,4,4,1,10,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,5,19,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255553172251851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25268079429312923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5777487229083966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21563383767280708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187916919775878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3313833052881919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24523989942051194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27646330586299417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948777105391104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710450940512094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28654415835486435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719230476174183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ClitCum,2019/01/04,"Affording Meds Yet again I’m in the position where I can’t afford my meds. I’m on Invega and it’ll be over $1000 to fill this months prescription. Nothing else works as well. I go completely nuts and end up in the psych ward if I don’t take it. I really want to take it. I don’t know where the money for it will come from.

I’m so sick of this happening over and over again.",-0.2487684069611795,1.67667759036145,2.223534136546185,95.54673360107095,86.34939759036146,7.062382864792503,16.451137884872825,8.167268648758528,0.3604495314591691,292,6,73,7,9,100,55,83,0.08900000000000001,0.862,0.048,-0.6299,2,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,7,1,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,0,0,7,16,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,1,0,1,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,6,1,13,13,0,17,0,0,0,0,0,9,0,1,5,44,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21822419506877333,0.26561513152828226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21162745425220905,0.0,0.22437809895865488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397514505712478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240217890280538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13922534928494476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5627923438607936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20220821272479306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430801212913126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16229179060725035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3809502081808207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494225362983875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22777704909733276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18442965010440612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BitchfulThinking,2019/01/04,"Antipsychs and binge eating?? Seroquel and now Abilify, which I take before bedtime. Is this just me or does everyone get intense munchies from these types of meds? Does anything help to decrease the urge to eat a billion chips and crackers at night once they start kicking in? I would like to not have to choose between being stable or wearing only spandex and capes from now on. ",6.289565217391306,8.045835927536235,5.354318840579712,81.25408695652175,66.53623188405797,7.259130434782609,35.53913043478261,7.554174236665415,2.7236643478260882,305,15,50,3,5,91,58,69,0.0,0.865,0.135,0.8253,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,4,3,1,0,0,10,7,6,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,4,1,11,5,0,7,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,5,35,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20621489114054448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132343288681648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4385874263184049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5128339328852187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23945026502385724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092335942692804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679657427909545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242601563468802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27834990666679643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351625068040337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668710423149046,0.0,0.19058560881841474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17736947046150375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884131084022998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17801252700153372,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cuttlefish_tragedy,2019/02/20,"Feeeeckin Depressed, Yo Being Bipolar is bullshit. Things that would bum a normal person send me careening down. And not like in a BPD moodiness way, I mean in like that slow slide where first you're tired, then you're sad, then you're slowly numb, then you're numb with a core of pain. I've hit the numb-core-of-pain stage, and it's bullsheet. On the outside I seem distant and detached, and on the inside I'm curled into a ball.  


I emailed my doctor, but haven't heard from her. I think I need to call the office.  


I have zero plans of hurting myself, but it troubles me that the thought has crossed my mind.",2.98560975609756,4.596075081300814,3.2135040650406523,93.93098780487809,74.60975609756099,5.5704065040650415,24.49512195121952,5.6839178017228535,0.366194146341464,477,15,102,2,10,146,82,123,0.237,0.763,0.0,-0.9670000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,0,2,1,10,0,0,9,0,6,6,0,0,0,17,14,9,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,1,6,1,0,1,6,6,0,0,4,1,0,3,2,8,0,2,2,1,12,2,11,9,0,17,0,3,0,0,6,7,0,1,7,57,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27472948105305833,0.0,0.22273704964878505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18787667836511546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22326723380922806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855428753270174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23351470117286174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21313644766645234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23760957720645004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22025102782436815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16174203347719593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21372293971119555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4642154236200542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19046435376438464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19857908139999794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14491713600868628,0.1397701081803467,0.0,0.1731723561421347,0.0,0.25071052057883003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731429421287761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154954637086487,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,whatuwere,2019/02/20,"Anyone type 2 and in a long term, healthy relationship? I just had a manic episode with my new boyfriend. Granted we started out as friends but still, I feel I’m not compatible with anyone. 

I was off my medications for a solid week or two and I felt myself going off the rails.  I got mad at him for things I still can’t even understand, I was pushing him away like I would during a manic episodes. 

No emotions. Impulsive. Quick to end it all and move on. Anyways, I’d really like feed back. ",1.8774489795918403,4.159503479591841,3.4034285714285737,88.11657142857145,80.53061224489795,6.3689795918367365,25.106122448979587,7.554174236665415,1.2974375510204084,383,15,79,6,10,126,74,98,0.075,0.78,0.145,0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,0,8,4,1,0,5,0,5,2,0,0,1,16,12,6,0,1,4,0,2,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,7,1,0,3,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,5,2,14,3,13,6,2,20,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,1,12,55,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001310673117462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20164018929785624,0.16502759626151178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24141578074619055,0.19008738738130115,0.0,0.0,0.14175282288422586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851704753169003,0.0,0.20606643942293928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16581293436230227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197206099333095,0.0,0.1716492061915899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20970252210559528,0.0,0.0,0.18992971812441548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21620453440735327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281044187700157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20727890167027171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13748945468893525,0.0,0.0,0.2304188575270561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15190735852785722,0.0,0.3427875970275265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14258231874493416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096500949648249,0.22342436785719647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721531986899991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15245810167506202,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DistinctParsley,2019/02/20,"Appointment with a Psychologist Next Week  I'm the one who ranted about their therapist in here not long ago.

I called her this morning as a just in case, and the earliest she could see me again was April 3rd. I know she's overwhelmed, which is one of the reasons I was seeking someone else. Not the main reason, but definitely like 25% of the whole pie.

I called several other doctors and talked to them. The one that called back has worked with Bipolar and OCD before, so I have an appointment with him next week.

Funny enough, he asked me who diagnosed me, and I told him that my therapist did. He said,""she's probably not a psychiatrist or psychologist or anything is she?"" I told him that I didn't think so but I wasn't sure.

Any advice on what to expect for an initial session? Is there anything  I need to bring (I'm already taking a list of the meds I'm on).

Wish me luck! I hope this helps.",2.7608146067415724,4.7948062471910164,3.7307724719101145,88.1296418539326,76.41573033707866,7.1466292134831475,25.16994382022472,8.07648339933343,1.4290887640449432,704,25,146,12,16,226,107,178,0.016,0.83,0.154,0.976,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,2,1,8,5,0,1,13,0,11,3,0,2,1,26,25,11,0,5,8,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,10,7,0,0,4,0,0,1,5,1,0,3,7,1,25,4,16,17,3,14,0,1,1,0,21,4,0,4,10,99,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456979573890165,0.11300134633605002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14067488265655628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668925100946875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20980667614460108,0.0,0.11917450123144648,0.0,0.0,0.09802253188575948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084741880964928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3905071501458416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017806217003972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938724720948594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13047889328585036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106491314343989,0.0,0.0,0.13171860730406826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08544565818263658,0.0,0.0,0.12661418340703928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005844533613934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06227919640496491,0.0,0.0,0.11281380976671128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14159905814735405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452314683998753,0.0,0.0,0.2711480967190203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25914669638165405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374425906078753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621367458414175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212605458050592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015832734125116,0.0,0.0,0.1440135883677282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801149586919856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201462840583034,0.0,0.09584741382477872,0.10246179803849652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29602301901324024,0.0,0.08168260393013142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436209331379456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20450994609513726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14232437116146407,0.14659313753384287,0.0,0.0,0.09280533054191482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pigeonfaced,2019/02/20,"Stress/Trauma and Psychosis? So I had a psychotic break last summer and was diagnosed Bipolar I with no psychiatric history (although I've def been mentally ill my whole life, I just hid my symptoms and avoided getting any help until I literally lost my fucking mind :/). 

Anyways, the break came after there were a series of really major stresses in my life during my final semester of college—I went through a major breakup, then I learned one (former) friend was a serial rapist, then I learned another really close (former) friend was a serial rapist, then I was being stalked by a really creepy girl, then I was made the pariah in my dorm and totally socially ostracized. While this was going on (and I was getting manic and starting to lose it), I was trying to finish a large amount of schoolwork so there was that added stress (I was barely sleeping). Then my parents were mad at me for not graduating so I was having issues with them when I got back home. Then I had my break.

I honestly feel like had this not all piled up, I wouldn't have gotten psychotic, although I can't prove it obviously. 

I wonder if anyone had similar experiences of stressful life events bringing on psychosis or knew anything about the relationship between trauma and psychosis.",8.037762541806021,8.270393030434782,8.086521739130436,68.59817725752511,62.17391304347826,11.076923076923077,37.25752508361204,10.727762888450028,4.26676254180602,1007,45,161,23,13,327,138,230,0.16399999999999998,0.774,0.061,-0.9732,1,1,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,2,10,15,4,4,10,0,23,11,1,1,4,29,38,23,0,2,5,1,1,1,2,1,7,0,2,1,5,11,0,1,6,0,0,4,5,11,0,1,25,1,28,4,21,11,6,33,0,2,0,3,8,7,1,3,20,121,33,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863040232746197,0.13307754406826094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873931873706399,0.0,0.10443717098891804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758694157343348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14515269628526442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12881227908390575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414358550193726,0.0,0.0,0.06417015709551563,0.09066544473701596,0.0,0.13902510531767107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19610268227008493,0.1173274345642898,0.13261181284522006,0.0,0.07212660584891205,0.0,0.1015025452421958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08506595669749177,0.0,0.1273023628828673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246240511779192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344963290336674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26892357363807,0.062002441519209986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14198126115470933,0.1385386554059131,0.0,0.0,0.12008652297660295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12789672172417946,0.0,0.12814421579923654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599836871594066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091995897441836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24390784969861815,0.0,0.0,0.13625522092243145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12700293513509578,0.12937006899683515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982845813097473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5815057758796351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13190941475893075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861644293447218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176480292584652,0.0,0.1416919133367868,0.0,0.0,0.13762987092470438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,allendullard,2019/02/20,"Unsane (2018) I was interested/skeptical to watch this movie since it's a horror/psychological thriller movie set in a psych ward. The trailers made it seems like it was going to exaggerate and misrepresent the ""horrors"" of hospitalization - saw a lot of similar sentiments echoed online from communities like ours (though not this one specifically). Great, they said, another movie to stigmatize psych wards and ""crazy"" people is just what we need. 

I don't really think it did any of that for the most part, because it's a movie. A pretty good one. Of COURSE it exaggerated reality because it's a scary movie. Even documentaries exaggerate things for entertainment purposes. What's interesting is I happened to watch it before and after my own hospitalization, and thought it a little more realistic the second go. Note - I certainly don't include any of the more horrific plot-centric parts (I won't spoil) in my assertion of realism. But the general setting and workings of the institution seemed adequate enough for a piece of entertainment - it seems like the shittiness of psych hospitals is well-earned in reality (again, there are parts of the movie that don't fit into this, but they're ""horror"" parts in the plot of a horror movie).

Furthermore, if anyone is offended watching this movie I think they're missing the point of the story. Central to the film is the idea that you are supposed to question what is being presented to you as real or not. 

Did ya watch it? How do you feel about it?",7.527935709599824,8.602902847583646,7.864447846052923,66.86184998906629,63.27509293680297,11.682571616007,34.78263721845616,11.442366930564873,4.363742444784605,1202,51,202,36,17,394,146,269,0.079,0.8370000000000001,0.084,-0.4873,0,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,2,4,1,1,7,11,1,0,23,0,18,0,0,2,1,31,33,12,0,2,7,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,23,7,0,0,9,3,0,2,6,2,0,3,8,7,15,9,31,23,11,15,0,1,5,0,9,8,0,8,6,141,38,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17853734772980814,0.13764892329956488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178762475679783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600429734484317,0.0,0.11170181778232688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13563787044465206,0.0,0.08670315293684314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637448184068437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14920848901843706,0.11010375396431514,0.0,0.1447265664657753,0.0,0.0,0.1160823718386275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481888020038244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923969076109286,0.131567869529756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160177537354296,0.0,0.12421164446827372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733566583729784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17790503938359775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.568614117498216,0.0,0.09100667313508473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240933759477768,0.0,0.0,0.1335496387881116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14705338551323427,0.0,0.0,0.14941495676608596,0.08409546261264933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248686312328358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3585121324473692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10858859681826584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721051430720686,0.16822610982943176,0.12897293552947892,0.10421438526111312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11802825173541825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095566736228531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,okaylookingpineapple,2019/02/20,"Anybody in the DMV area? I'm looking to move back to Maryland by June. Once I get there I want to get established with a doc ASAP because i'm really trying to get into a PHP. There's so many options for docs and programs, does anyone have any recommendations?",3.7288461538461526,5.216507269230776,5.364615384615386,79.75538461538463,72.46153846153847,7.507692307692308,28.384615384615394,8.07648339933343,1.9578307692307697,206,8,39,3,4,70,41,52,0.0,0.9640000000000001,0.036000000000000004,0.168,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,8,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,9,8,0,6,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,2,20,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21134986021512098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21731365351282564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389805906815905,0.0,0.18945649465975015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719770006574598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4871294589336958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26098779868420746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150952654541221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3303237153642817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33098434335162297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19910191894199328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21100800874109504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18331373139005533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fade_back,2019/02/20,"On lithium one month... Levels not checked My psychiatrist who I started see about a month ago put me on 900mg lithium carb. I saw him the other day and at the end if the appointment he said we'll wait and see how lithium takes (because I told him it's help but I still get swings etc just muted now). Then he was like, you can come back in 2 months or 1 if you prefer.

I forgot to ask about this business of checking blood levels and I called his office, the office manager said oh he usually does that every three months. 

Everything I read says to get levels checked soonish after starting. We're they gonna have me do it only in three months after starting? I see him in a month. Should I switch doctors? Go get it done myself? I'm freaking out and feel like no one cares about me ugh",2.3701242236024846,4.1597310745341645,3.4068012422360248,91.12026397515531,76.7639751552795,5.8422360248447225,23.301242236024837,6.5431188927421005,0.5389801242236025,617,19,130,5,14,198,108,161,0.065,0.8540000000000001,0.08199999999999999,0.3999,0,2,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,2,1,0,8,5,0,0,6,0,7,2,1,1,0,18,30,10,0,4,6,0,1,2,0,3,1,3,0,0,7,6,0,2,2,1,3,3,2,2,0,4,7,8,22,3,15,20,1,32,0,0,4,0,19,10,0,3,21,77,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11222916703744563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836013852023808,0.0,0.0,0.09735270827415507,0.0,0.07717824616070586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12927955758657164,0.0,0.12908393001153706,0.0,0.0,0.10906042897114246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816508232155422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12958728355227675,0.11079434328440227,0.12956257233178245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213592386695888,0.0,0.14119989532029262,0.0,0.0,0.10667157340978603,0.0,0.11378590434675673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06401613251631119,0.09044782477773776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984402665173104,0.0,0.07195348378379404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486177692331029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370724000942042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6063373792526714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17158390183498465,0.09629007172296196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272746645125688,0.0,0.0,0.12664092376764086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408638567851513,0.1006826994061681,0.0,0.0,0.30266735387699234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688385414526396,0.0,0.10110824398283492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519245358598508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209780913479008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13943935156627052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dnbhead10,2019/02/20,"Started taking Geodon from Risperdal two days ago, was pretty much hypomanic/depersonalized the whole day at work. I'm not really sure if this is a withdrawal symptom from the Risperdal, but if it is, how long would it normally take for the Geodon to take effect?",11.372499999999995,8.935734583333335,9.995,66.15000000000003,57.33333333333334,13.766666666666666,40.66666666666667,12.161744961471696,4.726341666666666,212,8,38,5,2,66,39,48,0.034,0.899,0.067,0.1433,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,4,0,4,1,0,2,1,9,9,4,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,5,7,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,5,24,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21517538876668107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130959284882121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21481828457700686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17844267992811585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378347942028197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24695502282886025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550620037438165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718134397072205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287806669509564,0.25230100517202725,0.5475334197531113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371228378923224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710118320587784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767184527128608,0.0,0.0,0.17243635274733554,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,punkhag,2019/02/20,"I’ve been feeling so much better! I just wanted to share my progress! I’ve been feeling a lot better the last few weeks and it’s not mania! I got my medications changed and after adjusting I think it’s been a really good change for me, my moods have improved a lot and I’m handling my emotions and triggers a lot better. I feel really good and like, normal. I wish you all well and hope you’re all making progress too!",0.9980232558139548,3.3894039186046534,2.719813953488373,90.88041860465117,85.3953488372093,5.300465116279073,21.390697674418604,6.742157984588678,0.5362920930232558,331,11,68,4,10,109,53,86,0.0,0.575,0.425,0.9895,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,5,4,10,0,0,5,0,4,1,0,2,2,24,14,7,0,4,2,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,4,3,11,9,3,10,7,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,4,43,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4480612014873096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35728878275927456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899584905683945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561605685387719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.283283971305412,0.13506252165718066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16772819402701492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13765337855419574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825024247471296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4307073055310848,0.0,0.0,0.1127235019331786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17012097089560868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414049451163214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545889680823095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21636770554978665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10820648423392347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996051963421601,0.0,0.13545908916390986,0.0,0.15183638465533467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941946909396431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mcbstl345,2019/05/20,"Possible to lose weight on antipsychotics? So I definitely gained some weight over the years from atypical antipsychotics. Most of it goes straight to my gut, I’m very vain and it pisses me off. Zyprexa and Seroquel I looked like the Michelin Man, it was awful. 😢 I’m taking 4.5mg of Vraylar and it works quite well but I’m still 230lbs (6ft tall). I eat healthy for the most part and exercise but I don’t lose any weight. Does anyone do intermittent fasting? Was curious to see if that has worked for anyone taking antipsychotics...

Comments appreciated",2.834839432412245,5.8110329320388425,3.3097087378640784,85.44550410754296,83.75728155339806,7.0527259148618375,25.39880507841673,8.139509932561175,1.9916802091112764,444,18,82,10,13,138,72,103,0.10099999999999999,0.716,0.183,0.84,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,6,3,6,1,0,3,1,5,7,2,0,0,10,12,8,0,1,3,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,2,5,6,2,11,10,4,8,0,2,2,0,2,5,1,4,4,44,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155095044404422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23753781904429716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14864418899148793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17380749986593855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08298421119015909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14263823624170002,0.38005609688957465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839400432604625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19148977083911345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18066526623881352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353551153652893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356490997794271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554246840035313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14015092987811967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6205251399803172,0.15272305813080844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473178073520816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938321003188584
bipolarreddit,HotShot345,2019/05/20,"Accepting the Diagnosis Hey all, how many of you struggled with accepting the bipolar diagnosis when it was first made? I'm struggling with that right now. To make a long story short, I was originally diagnosed back in March 2017, and then I found another pdoc that switched the diagnosis to major depressive disorder. This past month, he changed the diagnosis back to bipolar because of a prolonged manic / hypomanic episode that spanned 5+ months. I didn't really accept the diagnosis when it was made in 2017, and I don't want to accept it now either. The family I've confided in, though, all agree that I'm bipolar, and think I'm stupid for continuing to fight it. So I guess my question is: if you did struggle with accepting the diagnosis initially, what made you decide to stop fighting and accept it?",8.473986486486485,8.38382477702703,8.766891891891891,65.15885135135136,61.364864864864856,12.80540540540541,40.12162162162162,12.161744961471696,5.206983783783784,649,32,110,20,8,215,87,148,0.20199999999999999,0.733,0.065,-0.9583,0,0,0,0,3,0,19.0,0,3,0,1,9,13,3,3,9,0,7,4,0,6,2,30,18,11,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,11,7,0,1,10,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,9,0,9,6,15,9,4,22,0,1,0,0,8,6,0,3,16,70,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16477647630993342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416640986113421,0.0,0.09579194878845873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16623478214324255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13534567152114,0.1594952296535502,0.0,0.0,0.18009767707188334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14813894197602778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336644083535232,0.0,0.1722974519753104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17310898623655832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390652083949304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4460730226186028,0.10489311554407542,0.15931673171761448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250857558406451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500092626954675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760343496591197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066881506082877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13419791083826002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313772602794059,0.0,0.4928349818499957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068987441585477,0.1543906435769624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09268607867507464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MyDamnCoffee,2019/05/20,"My doctor gave me validation today and an eight month hiatus Two months ago I went to my psychiatrist after being stable for a year and asked her for adderall.  I made a total fool of myself.

What I didn't realize is that i was on a downward spiral. All of my responsibilities have been unmanageable but I didn't realize it.

Slowly but surely, my mental health declined until it was affecting me physically. I was having acid reflux that was so severe it was making me vomit... even though I take zantac every night. The reflux was worse when I was late to work (every day) so it was happening because of stress. I haven't been myself in months.

A couple of days ago after I quit yet another job, I realized I need a time out. But we need an income. I don't want SSI, just time to get healthy.

The welfare office agreed to give me cash assistance if I got a medical waiver saying I can't work. I fully expected my doctor to say no. I thought asking for six months off was too much.

But she agreed with me. She told me she knew from experience that a person who has been stable asking for a control is a sign they're slipping. She said she knows how hard I work and it's understandable that I need a time out. 

My doctor gave me eight months, minimum. She will let me have up to 12 months if I need it.

I'm going to use this time to completely overhaul my life and get help. It just feels so damn good to be validated.",3.093336384439361,4.691291856140354,4.89313501144165,82.05151029748285,74.2982456140351,7.623188405797101,22.566742944317326,8.321376580360154,1.2708962623951179,1109,29,221,19,23,378,158,285,0.08800000000000001,0.815,0.09699999999999999,0.3503,2,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,1,0,0,5,11,5,1,1,14,0,27,7,0,6,3,40,56,17,0,8,8,0,2,0,0,1,7,3,0,1,14,8,0,1,8,0,1,2,6,3,0,4,23,6,45,2,28,29,3,32,0,0,0,0,21,7,1,2,23,157,59,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709558852205919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011135664179345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.270442561274752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05878184673585776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110332404566667,0.0,0.1081526300402956,0.0,0.1066961707393137,0.0,0.12437665831686795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960956054180594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06369003696486984,0.0,0.1624901417477221,0.0,0.0,0.09432546088746507,0.0,0.0,0.04875708735801816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075969946552296,0.09250289079681298,0.054802471762352964,0.08087955192432582,0.07712258609665733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527129986561642,0.0,0.08638088993175685,0.0,0.0,0.10249886101898588,0.0,0.0,0.06463391192450173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09569029012919067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05299451700336618,0.0,0.10877541517712352,0.0,0.0,0.09860455395957833,0.06811021803060799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124286672036294,0.06436669385623077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714145022440414,0.0971771289982666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4618092878560201,0.0,0.0708859560637854,0.2860016940649649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904915043994048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419754386741242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10256345400866457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091725473291209,0.15336743965708388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10893662456897904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11045838594236837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090882608982683,0.0,0.07250214270806453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474039585762,0.0765533642633083,0.22491266032629864,0.0,0.09140283119269577,0.092141451481046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09419651775755952,0.1003853465359173,0.0,0.08328316161982964,0.0,0.0,0.0568759581586288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08939007631718145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21060303196035265,0.0,0.09826875950647787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062096716568617476
bipolarreddit,mrose16,2019/05/20,"Stopping Seroquel I just visited my psychiatrist today about stopping Seroquel, which I am on 200 mg. She increased my Trileptal to 600 mg 2x/day and told me that I can just stop taking Seroquel without weaning off of it. Is this true? I feel like if I just jump from 200 mg/day to 0 mg/day I would get a terrible rebound. Every other psych med I’ve been on I’ve weaned off of, so why would Seroquel be any different?",5.245058823529412,5.1480751529411775,6.171764705882352,81.09294117647059,68.05882352941177,8.682352941176473,34.64705882352941,8.238735603445708,2.62775294117647,328,15,66,4,5,109,59,85,0.10800000000000001,0.795,0.096,0.1803,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,0,1,13,11,3,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,3,1,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,2,1,10,2,11,6,1,11,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,5,40,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14857892011194762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4227188821858031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22827282396643475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18408505265464906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104737911734134,0.156087437866374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141506455842416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067419044407116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24269024017873644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5479957335842279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16427532912994136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20710050236788932,0.20877406795421088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19715088946512954,0.0,0.0,0.21061405099005856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31041435185061234,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AnOwlHooted,2019/05/20,"Mixed episode maybe? Hi there, I'm new here.

A friend told me I should vent a bit of my feelings and personal experiences with BD (well only one psychiatrist diagnosed BD, so it's not very clear yet) so yeah bear with me. Maybe you guys will help me understand all of this a bit. 
Hi there, I'm new here.
A friend told me I should vent a bit of my feelings and personal experiences with BD (well only one psychiatrist diagnosed BD, so it's not very clear yet) so yeah bear with me for a bit. Maybe you guys will help me understand all of this a bit, my friend already does help me a lot but I need more feedbacks to feel reassured about all my symptoms. 

I won't get into every details from when I started feeling weird to now, it's way too long to tell (started at 17, I'm 23). Let's just say I had my ""ups and downs"", as in I'm either : 

	• Euphoric, feeling extraordinary well like I've never been before, spending every penny to buy futile things, so energetic I can spend an entire day cleaning every room in my flat. The colors are vivid, the food is delicious but I feel like I don't need to eat nor sleep. I feel out of my body, connected to the Universe, to some superior forces. The world seems to be made for me, I feel like every person I met wants me. My ego is overinflated, my brain is working non stop, my thoughts are racing, I want to do all sorts of things, start all sorts of projects. I'm way more creative, I write a lot, novels and songs. My mind is also very focused on sex, I only think about and act on it - it never satisfies me tho. I call people all the time, I want to meet new people, go clubbing and take as much drugs as I can. Then comes the downfall, I feel irritated by everyone cause I think they're stupid, I'm angry, I'm judgemental, I think they're not worth me. I completely loose my insight. 

	• Or I'm feeling empty, extremely sad, depressed. I can't do anything, even the smallest like showering, doing my makeup, brushing my teeth or hair, cooking. I just stay in bed all day, I neglect everything, even my own cat and I feel so guilty about it. I feel guilty about everything actually and not being able to act on it and reverse the way things are makes me feel even more worthless. I smoke weed a lot, I drink alone. I start having dark thoughts, I wish I could just disappear completely from this world. I think I'm not the person people around me like, I'm an impostor, I'm not kind, I'm not smart, I'm not pretty, I'm just a big piece of shit thinking it can paint gold on itself and it will dupe everybody but it doesn't. I cry a lot, I have anxiety attacks all the time. I wish I could talk about it with my closest friends but I'm always thinking I don't wanna ruin their day with my shit, I'm already such a burden to them and all. 

All of this led me to drug and sex abuse at 17, doing a lot of stupid and unreasonable shit ever since then. 

I'm sure I'm missing a lot of things, I try to write it down when I'm experiencing each phase since when it's over, I don't remember a lot but well I don't have my notebook with me. And that's because I ended up in a mental health center last Thursday.

The phase I'm going through right now is a weird mix of the tzo above. I'm most of the time very down, but I have energetic peaks when I either feel completely fine and I'm back to my talkative self, or I start doing things as if someone ordered me to. Like cleaning a very specific location in my flat. Something else is different than my usual depressed phase, I didn't want to only disappear, I wanted to die and was able to do it. I mean I had the energy and the will. And then I started losing my mind, I saw ants all over my place (well there were ants, according to my brother, but way less than what I thought). I actually had nightmares about being covered by ants and when I woke up and saw them, I had a big anxiety attack and wanted to burn down my place.
The day I got committed, I was absolutely convinced that I had to cut my toenails the shortest to avoid being poisoned. I don't even know how this thought got into my head. I couldn't find anything else than a very big pair of scissors and holding it made me realize I could actually kill myself with that and I was kinda happy that I could stop everything by just sticking them into my head. I was thinking I should ask people around me (people I think I'm disappointing) to commit suicide with me so they won't be even more disappointed. 
In a glimpse of reason - or maybe I was trying to get him there to do it with me, I don't remember well this episode - I called my brother, he came, called one of the psychiatrists I've seen and brought me to the hospital. That's how I ended up here.

I'm scared af, I don't know what's happening to me, I feel like I'm losing my mind more and more as time goes by. I really wanna die and end all this shit. Instead I'm in a center where patients ask me ""oh you believe in God. It's a big sin to commit suicide, right?"" in the middle of dinner and makes me puke and cry all night. I'm forced to take so many pills (Abilify, Effexor, Tercian, Seresta) to sedate me, but it doesn't change anything. I'm also forced to eat and socialize whereas I don't want to. I feel so empty, I don't have any positive thought or feeling, I just want it to stop.

Hope you all had a way better week than mine. 

(took me hours to write this as my whole body/mind feels very slow + I'm French, my English may be broken)",3.3340839269813003,4.244313703472842,4.710804875333928,86.29076652938559,72.69545859305433,7.858989314336599,26.504107301869997,8.19865941132955,1.4985348263579694,4231,140,919,63,80,1411,398,1123,0.182,0.693,0.125,-0.9981,2,2,5,0,1,6,146.0,0,4,5,4,61,55,11,2,47,2,72,28,12,9,23,200,184,72,5,24,30,2,19,7,4,10,8,2,5,7,40,48,6,6,43,5,4,11,27,28,6,3,33,28,147,27,120,129,42,112,1,11,5,2,46,47,4,21,54,576,187,3,0.07439673059640553,0.0440739801566629,0.1089007158070244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03852628800893521,0.08209864220503373,0.05949503857914705,0.030952019827018826,0.0,0.0,0.025296163989076685,0.0,0.056913295273443826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183325540286247,0.06622886325363933,0.06955090028722967,0.08463702131415922,0.0,0.028603246796258888,0.0,0.022675778223040392,0.0,0.03165306907970766,0.04190981944473063,0.0,0.03289893121316828,0.20305490306746166,0.04131899807512507,0.0,0.041525677910817176,0.11395106998810298,0.04254502014355682,0.0,0.03821296792256338,0.039350938158278316,0.03204309793603967,0.11700533485994792,0.0,0.0,0.11879947132832898,0.0,0.08172131515881345,0.0959594730934414,0.0,0.06407779504808682,0.07551111551647535,0.07721206063010255,0.03886437446815332,0.0,0.0,0.03255254014781739,0.0,0.0,0.03644023642666527,0.08627658809309195,0.07612642856427744,0.06214892203333545,0.0,0.0988401317833074,0.0,0.0,0.122845847266622,0.03364805105882872,0.12536490846430284,0.03554463214335668,0.10029447649675166,0.07277427813663663,0.0,0.0,0.3385550012506335,0.07972355880486262,0.0,0.0,0.0339986319773495,0.0,0.04498041097336405,0.0,0.11495745901942668,0.0,0.038869221124804114,0.0,0.04228137647126665,0.0,0.05950186172862576,0.0,0.0,0.07366445992776366,0.03289439158371275,0.03959835156072892,0.0,0.0,0.07635250904920875,0.039540122838007785,0.0,0.0,0.07479984045449233,0.0,0.0,0.036946370046012526,0.0366328967786512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04115447980612565,0.038736373219402265,0.04088649749319378,0.030321632517715087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03803784878376857,0.0,0.12721269625885692,0.0,0.0,0.032919382724618584,0.0,0.08323091159069207,0.0,0.22137303965280472,0.0,0.07039598532800984,0.04966039537318144,0.03771330389807781,0.14948303096866186,0.040519924884206665,0.0,0.0,0.0374872030716972,0.0,0.15023897955693094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027345078592946784,0.055164233059684216,0.05737934504890749,0.10777923900807017,0.0,0.03490814594599082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756197250819685,0.11316413212728382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289433139339196,0.12992071108221867,0.07772874893630663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03784411056199415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023830225328609792,0.03824611490554421,0.0,0.0,0.08427699298984509,0.06353440143250047,0.0,0.029581633118189374,0.03724205297079483,0.0,0.0,0.033863994694588666,0.038806007668050015,0.0,0.15273434969492847,0.06154174434394762,0.0,0.03722522951275019,0.0379190489209152,0.0315180542039092,0.028637118954256864,0.0,0.0,0.15797516650202026,0.03964850800789234,0.0,0.0932984970655088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137794819447411,0.0,0.03505901906898547,0.038663344544521736,0.05593708262113537,0.029898636977661288,0.032513010854948336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12356470506246348,0.19068168383143275,0.0,0.1476567347452421,0.08676266378684644,0.0,0.0,0.07108926428671336,0.04132875255166548,0.05051049654530485,0.0,0.0,0.0774496202924816,0.0,0.0,0.040968744030505606,0.21484782969288369,0.1755244770343361,0.1476316546616477,0.029838284871412494,0.0,0.20067478648298656,0.0,0.0,0.04153064642523405,0.0855525685952535,0.0,0.0,0.02708085296748408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,moistpatties,2019/05/20,"Work accommodations? For those that have asked for accommodations at work, what did you ask for and what did you receive? 

My diagnoses are bipolar type 2, ADHD, and PTSD. I work a 9-5 in the IT department at a museum. I have a very difficult time getting in my full hours as I get so worn out during the week. I’ve asked previously if working from home was an option and was told no. I’m not quite sure what to ask for, hence reaching out.",2.2316011235955067,4.134148831460678,4.128525280898876,85.27795646067419,77.53932584269663,7.596067415730338,23.484550561797754,8.472884824447931,1.3911674157303369,342,11,74,7,8,116,62,89,0.11900000000000001,0.86,0.021,-0.8224,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,5,1,2,0,0,6,0,7,2,0,0,1,9,16,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,6,5,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,6,0,7,1,13,10,1,12,0,0,0,0,8,7,0,2,3,47,13,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20620117131537524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6416020985483696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741461648196471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17928289741487316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721048523183861,0.0,0.16896793105497712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20056331952432074,0.0,0.0,0.18249233871367654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16170847620097975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004742377775597,0.0,0.0,0.16394834920271215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14156827982942846,0.0,0.0,0.13762802574460306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4996378773721755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,etoet,2019/05/20,"Feeling dumb/slow after mania I (25f, bp1) recently had a mini manic episode, I guess you could call it hypomania since it only lasted a few days (my pdoc and I were able to catch it early and nip it in the bud). So I'm no longer manic but rather feeling depressed now. 

The racing thoughts are gone but I still have trouble concentrating and feel dumb/slow at my job, like the thoughts in my head keep evading me.

Anyone else experience this after mania? Is it the meds (I got put on olanzapine for the acute mania), or is the depression, or is it just the after effects of mania?",8.644736842105267,6.214601719298247,8.93182456140351,71.63510526315794,62.50877192982456,11.225263157894735,35.95789473684211,9.3871,3.1666336842105265,452,15,87,6,5,151,78,114,0.127,0.821,0.052000000000000005,-0.8979,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,1,5,4,0,0,9,0,8,1,1,1,0,18,18,8,0,2,6,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,6,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,6,3,10,1,10,11,1,16,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,3,10,58,17,1,0.2008735099123068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14045542867242514,0.20581864903831645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051143126252655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16038115243871262,0.0,0.0,0.1295467960425834,0.0,0.3460241194892648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678040420059206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964928372987796,0.0,0.0,0.30470304655594604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16065689602122507,0.0,0.22128481784815865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061541731790395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19933596329691236,0.17854560519032656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16373872080875673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813665043024808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231251858213036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527733559953361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20193335909759064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983383574776017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16616464316903584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16041784449485902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189422581631595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Incognitjo,2019/05/20,"Crazy vivid dreams Does anyone else get super realistic lucid dreams. Like it's so draining because they feel like real life and I can interact and make choices in my dreams but can't tell them apart from real life. Then I feel super tired when I wake up because it feels like instead of being asleep I've been living some other life. Also it sometimes gets hard to separate what happened in a dream to what happened in real life.

​

The worst is when I have dreams with fictional friends, families, relationships e.c.t. cause then when I wake up I get super depressed I can't see them again.

​

I usually find I start getting them just before an episode.",5.937004444444447,7.563945776000004,5.497066666666669,80.3889777777778,67.24000000000001,7.795555555555558,30.68888888888889,8.167268648758528,2.2769022222222213,542,21,93,7,9,166,83,125,0.11699999999999999,0.64,0.243,0.9468,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,4,3,8,9,0,0,3,0,7,8,3,2,0,15,19,10,0,0,2,0,4,3,1,0,5,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,6,14,7,10,17,2,14,0,1,2,0,8,6,0,1,11,55,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648315607711387,0.0,0.261446808874281,0.29320407204512544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436075597466194,0.12361940717186952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14709331747406976,0.0,0.10266361959827427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394000697512572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10391501624925094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558096563329968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078696119491873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373736883917533,0.0,0.18301164716952467,0.17238368668248494,0.0,0.0,0.11027122240168467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932133058964627,0.0,0.252136999517454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133794543564146,0.0,0.1080780238456996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.340872513550782,0.17682937777560334,0.0,0.106535492009087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053430659210005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4119757562124386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12953213531613372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614182620009644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11932518636886437,0.0,0.08539615520850483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10545275625569152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13866855666447994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328780960220791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29320407204512544,0.0
bipolarreddit,Sbananas8,2019/05/20,"Biphase sleep Do you think you sleep biphasically? (Apparently scientists say in the Middle Ages humans would naturally wake up for a few hours every night to relax and then went back to sleep). When I’m hypomanic I definitely do this, but usually have to rely on weed or sleeping medication to fall back asleep. If I look back to childhood though I feel like I’ve sort of always done this. Do you?",4.790399999999998,6.762781840000002,5.805,75.70750000000002,70.6,9.266666666666666,27.166666666666664,9.725611199111238,2.6088666666666667,318,11,59,8,6,105,58,75,0.0,0.899,0.10099999999999999,0.7514,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,3,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,6,7,6,0,0,8,11,7,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,6,2,10,8,1,16,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,3,11,37,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449466349250369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4018423735399296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17826496564473426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467692716108614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807970896491364,0.12444703811031955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17154987446042666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510431096494438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14628239081272834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17548609090136896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634729595878131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13852918807985773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6972949464803959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161900163410128,0.1711485846782762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19185441265268574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16148322906482973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374521358923984,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rach_lizzy,2019/05/20,"Fighting for my needs in the workplace. I posted here about a week ago asking some of you how successful your attempts at managing without medication have been and was left with some wonderful advice and words of caution, but the biggest thing I took away from the post was that I need to take MY schedule and MY need for consistency seriously. This past week has been a roller coaster that has left me unable to have a quality sleep, irritable, and most importantly worried enough about my health that I finally submitted a new schedule to my employer that is better accommodating for my health needs. I am a little nervous that my employer will reject my request and I know that I will have to push back, so I guess I'm looking for some moral support from y'all in the upcoming days during what is likely to turn into a battle of defending my needs without necessarily outing myself to my boss. I don't really know what to do if they reject it other than request a transfer to a new location that will accept the hours that I have listed or threaten to quit if they don't agree to my terms. It would suck if I lost my job over this, but I know that I cannot continue to work overtime every week with hours that range anywhere from 8am to 2 am. That shit isn't healthy for anybody.",10.43752,7.193652112000003,10.113600000000002,67.08080000000001,59.88,13.2,41.4,11.20814326018867,4.481799999999999,1028,41,191,20,10,338,138,250,0.168,0.76,0.07200000000000001,-0.9766,3,0,0,0,2,0,12.0,0,3,2,6,7,14,4,1,13,0,23,5,2,2,0,35,42,13,0,9,8,0,0,1,0,4,3,1,0,0,19,8,0,0,5,1,0,2,6,9,0,0,6,2,32,5,36,32,6,30,1,3,1,0,9,10,2,10,17,143,51,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11392621100153165,0.1033462016195444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089919052428542,0.0,0.10953611664024764,0.0896472181260387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311059033222017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518814102593968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12046420851491305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982284928569732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277139516871761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284323086292126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478503256667258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296268889679988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11569333227649385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19221737930437402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533414400912398,0.0,0.0,0.05695789118503074,0.11684951420232435,0.0,0.0,0.09790263740728196,0.0,0.12726707958888472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11744784202722458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4322341506440416,0.0,0.2251984193178765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11129425654088992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22331377465060154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400325830373445,0.0,0.0,0.07468779412503443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967356066227045,0.0,0.0,0.11666991141571538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13230008733271273,0.0,0.0,0.08765794811320242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774543683541767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12953101867305578,0.0,0.12681177906161714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805540837473309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22476893702029396,0.12643223427758687,0.08487578876300006,0.11839845238859105,0.0,0.08281914664919368,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Glowingstreet,2019/05/20,"Olanzapine with lithium ave been in a manic state in hospital for 6 weeks. Risperdal with lithium did nothing so they are trying olanzapine depot injection with lithium.

Any thoughts or experiences?",8.04208333333333,11.559624875,7.745000000000001,58.53333333333336,65.875,10.516666666666666,45.04166666666666,10.504223727775694,6.346591666666668,164,11,20,5,3,52,26,32,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,6,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,13,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3368886454633228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4845957671014743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4753491777076568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3932918634093455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3363437391174324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39737959390283895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Benis_Boi_69,2019/05/20,"How do I stop feeling guilty for talking about my illness? It being mental health awareness month, I had a thing where I talked about my illness and how it effects me in my life, but as soon as I put it out there I started to feel super bad about talking about it. I just wanna spread awareness, but I don't wanna make it sound like I'm jerking myself off like ""I have Bipolar disorder, feel bad for me, blah blah blah""

I'm super tired of feeling this way and I just want to own it. What are some things you do to help with this?",1.7110909090909097,3.5321579272727317,2.752727272727274,94.91909090909094,78.81818181818181,4.763636363636363,22.81818181818182,4.935628992294339,-0.002527272727272933,412,13,90,1,10,131,66,110,0.21899999999999997,0.5920000000000001,0.18899999999999997,-0.264,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,3,11,7,1,0,1,0,7,6,0,4,0,21,16,8,0,3,4,0,4,5,0,0,6,1,0,0,11,4,0,1,5,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,5,16,4,18,14,2,10,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,6,66,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33125817011053577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273470385586408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40120350453419534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108560236054474,0.0,0.0,0.13296196194746734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011326172857547,0.19382527605594652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13241225301654858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999083970520675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583355319485729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994147390419353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14040596844498307,0.0,0.0,0.16584462134150246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4783223155497478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635739142662075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279949600050057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11700265014512574,0.15745537153630182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Tramickk,2019/05/20,Does it ever feel like life is pointless Once I was diagnosed  I started feeling like life is never gonna be the same since I’ll never be a normal person with a normal life. I can’t even enjoy things anymore because my medicine makes me a fucking zombie. I hate myself for being the way I am. Anyone else feel similar?,3.589218750000001,5.131475734375002,5.073875000000001,81.48362500000003,72.90625,6.370000000000001,26.8625,6.742157984588678,1.394535,253,9,45,2,5,85,48,64,0.065,0.778,0.157,0.575,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,5,0,8,5,0,1,3,11,16,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,3,8,3,2,11,1,5,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,6,30,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18391586502566132,0.1296704562235828,0.19001471407961032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304816655526286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18822712675427705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16228792433188302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549190863517036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12248750773465107,0.1677495009407634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28130620107090304,0.2649700211830108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17144488129972074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18309278124157707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3929649559993743,0.18120231241788728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12378884182337195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28605985171127923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3634018612623521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974974425743337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16192716784552708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15340556994923654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13126196271821736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12320426863286152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472010152935889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cmcaplin,2019/05/20,"What do you for sleep? Sometimes I sleep well but I have a hard time actually going to sleep and staying asleep. I used to take seroquel and saphris and I’ve taken benzos for anti anxiety but none were good for me in the long run, but they were amazing for sleep! I spent all of 2018 tapering off of my benzos because my husband and I want to have kids. That taper was SO BAD so I know I can’t go back to those. I take lamictal, Prozac, methyfolate, and baclofen. Ideas or things to take? I notice not sleeping is my kryptonite to go to bad places, up or down!",1.3336842105263145,3.5725966666666693,2.7097368421052654,92.55565789473684,82.33333333333333,5.5543859649122815,22.657894736842106,6.816661863887847,0.6010315789473681,436,15,93,5,12,141,75,114,0.184,0.75,0.066,-0.9485,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,0,4,5,0,0,2,0,8,7,6,1,1,16,19,12,0,1,6,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,2,0,1,4,3,2,1,0,5,1,15,3,17,14,2,13,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,2,3,63,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.13888305501044948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887383420363808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943471589264013,0.23766125268149615,0.08675649184719501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426499229951761,0.11937063186630363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274900907212635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16066110640006195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821493603303148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259480548306462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16203140568786478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486933217254138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7121101399402945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14075737410981085,0.0,0.0,0.1516933808359919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3210190850767892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09455058363959704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829874972694014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12291813431019352,0.0,0.0,0.08394357908596388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796209466480435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ElonMusks_SugarBaby,2019/05/20,"I just need to get it off my chest I feel so tired. I was depressed all winter, the worst it has ever been, and it had me seriously contemplating suicide in a way I had never done before. And then, all of a sudden, it was better. I went home from college for the summer, and everything was better, all at once. I forgot that just a few short weeks ago I had been swearing to myself that I would give myself “one last good summer” and then I was planning to end it. Ha, ha, ha. And then it all comes crashing down, and I realize that the past few weeks haven’t been genuine improvement, it was a trick my mind played on me just to crash even lower. 

I broke up with my boyfriend- the best boy I have ever known- at the worst of my last depressive episode. I just wanted to be alone. I knew deep in my heart I didn’t want to lose him, but I just really needed a friend and not a boyfriend. And now I feel like I fucked it all up because we drifted apart and hardly talk and everything that was so precious to me in our relationship is gone. I don’t even want to get back together with him, but he is the best and most supporting and loving person I have ever met and I really just want him in my life. I feel lost and confused and I feel like a major bitch for pushing him away from me. 

My family fights constantly. My brother is failing multiple classes, and he is in an absolutely hostile mood about 95% of the time. And my mom is overworked and she gets no support from my dad and she is just in a bad mood all the time. Since being home I have made sure that my mom wakes up to a spotless house every morning, I do all the shopping, cooking, and I even do the chores she asked my brother to do without telling anyone because I want her to think that he is doing them himself. I can’t show any sign of upset in front of them because my role is to make sure that they get along in an almost-functional way. 

I feel so alone, and yet like I don’t want anyone to be close to me because it will take so much effort to keep the relationship up and that if I end up doing something bad to myself the fewer people that are close to me at the time the better.  I just want to make everyone happy a few more times- “one more summer”, not for myself but for all the people that I feel I will one day leave behind.",4.762184873949579,4.5452668991596665,5.591680672268912,85.25184873949581,69.08403361344537,8.396638655462185,27.294117647058826,7.83500028581142,1.402589075630252,1788,49,389,19,28,587,207,476,0.14300000000000002,0.703,0.153,0.7523,1,2,1,0,1,1,43.0,2,0,3,10,23,41,5,2,27,3,42,8,3,3,14,87,80,33,1,11,15,5,7,3,1,3,2,0,3,2,19,29,1,2,10,4,1,6,10,18,0,3,21,7,71,21,56,53,20,62,0,6,0,2,35,25,2,3,32,291,90,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.068286818665195,0.0,0.07713935612531238,0.15956991282338764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052386394993035885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772923037389487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201726190859216,0.0,0.07237685388611009,0.059235107164831415,0.1286418999371962,0.18783911667866035,0.0,0.06555105273145176,0.0,0.16168681565553142,0.20439340994064975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635877226297097,0.0,0.08324739368372044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049681157812775024,0.0,0.13270014707057565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883348078013153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136460168084509,0.0,0.0,0.15264253696985097,0.20904751735577046,0.06490525219468729,0.07361017821311208,0.13846805820432914,0.0,0.0726216773915371,0.0,0.23370705574228584,0.11006754077035848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05951699690700054,0.0712175527558746,0.16099028862992165,0.0738989256988439,0.0,0.0646132455615913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200511693508993,0.06900816733272128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128676461891466,0.0,0.0,0.15454463447916394,0.0,0.0,0.08888796792887642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684721865704981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12558750161428586,0.0,0.08156886938765022,0.0,0.0,0.054412050242103036,0.11290612889352312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618238346539893,0.08409272764497584,0.0,0.06952703323392756,0.07289231471834097,0.10284282979242226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778332052459254,0.1804447612191763,0.0,0.0,0.056629538332543326,0.11424085105553534,0.05941408814932896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08203968779388013,0.15660258959103066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353855870643025,0.10681264366202264,0.0672639307235297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870109929526648,0.0,0.0,0.16541337361279154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06372409131192044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05930525377871779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426371167737944,0.1748366544972249,0.14520902234894842,0.0,0.057920681298046874,0.06191775982878275,0.06733192549651698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04936087350756075,0.0,0.0,0.17967875199371716,0.08854032134924286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3180603891259052,0.12229348573040832,0.12358555058889753,0.0,0.0,0.07141215318867601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425892487262324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547234050271098,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Downtown_MB,2019/06/21,"One can of coke = Hypomania? Has this happened to you? Hey everyone, 

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Has anyone else experienced mania or hypomania after having caffeine after a long period of avoiding it haha? I've had one can of coke after not drinking it for 6 months and slowly everything is speeding up and feeling beautiful, music sounds great and I have zero desire to sleep....

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 F/25/BPII",4.899201680672267,7.958649676470588,6.2456302521008435,67.58676470588239,74.29411764705883,8.003361344537815,30.302521008403357,8.841846274778883,3.3917285714285725,310,14,42,7,7,104,53,68,0.032,0.755,0.212,0.9237,0,1,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,1,8,4,1,0,0,8,10,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,3,1,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,3,1,3,2,2,10,9,0,8,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,7,32,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4099899346042363,0.459790344510501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229100394890295,0.1938547763517759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18534111951236296,0.0,0.0,0.15804989094028032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18078592676978747,0.1700381444398093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09566373312914447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20859045897052794,0.0,0.0,0.16730636130950294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16743347041985954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15101531170098148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564096884518437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18933372525950845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.459790344510501,0.0
bipolarreddit,QueerstenBri,2019/06/21,"Started Vraylar feeling extremely nauseous all the time. Is this normal? I'm still on 1.5 mg every other day and next week I start 1.5 mg every day. I've been incredibly nauseous this entire time. Is this normal, does it go away?",1.718939393939397,4.4857687727272735,3.360909090909089,84.0280303030303,88.54545454545455,4.751515151515153,23.24242424242424,6.42735559955562,0.9902242424242428,182,7,31,2,6,60,32,44,0.0,0.956,0.044000000000000004,0.2168,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,8,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,7,1,12,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,9,15,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23237994982120355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3190220171149923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164450613450328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4167818422134684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506031733043702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405665284877828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630442299535385,0.0,0.4846727720355473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3501308392448562,0.0,0.19752253971285685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884467694460637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19839770936758885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hercognizance,2019/06/21,"Shout out to <insert> This subreddit is definitely want for positive posts so I thought we could all give a nod to the people/creatures that make our lives better.  Whether it’s a cashier who smiled at you today, your life partner or your cockatoo. Let’s share the lives that lift us up!

I dedicate this thread to my husband, who loved me post-diagnosis and pre-diagnosis and who teaches me every day that I am worth love.",6.498518518518517,7.126267493827164,6.315654320987657,78.63644444444445,65.41975308641976,9.93679012345679,34.71851851851852,9.888512548439397,3.28364,341,15,65,7,5,107,64,81,0.0,0.701,0.299,0.9764,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,3,3,0,1,1,4,0,0,4,0,4,3,0,1,1,11,10,5,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,9,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,12,4,7,7,1,6,0,0,0,2,15,3,0,1,2,42,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038377943947572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184016785028088,0.0,0.0,0.14863831912889694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19418644841595725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22109412471226508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23567790544214426,0.16279241556370508,0.0,0.0,0.4070300630993727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41602820098739984,0.0,0.1538448984262012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44146568394267405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829726500413161,0.0,0.0,0.218464836987216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772349327632361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13594105090050534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hamboneZA,2019/06/21,"I texted my psychiatrist at 3AM during a manic episode It was a rambling ""I'm having the feels, what should I do?"" kinda text. How would you apologize / move past the awkwardness at the next session?",2.128378378378379,4.991638054054056,3.2419459459459468,84.99967567567569,87.37837837837839,6.203243243243244,23.616216216216216,7.554174236665415,1.5598475675675685,156,6,28,3,5,50,31,37,0.062,0.897,0.042,-0.168,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,5,0,5,0,0,1,0,5,7,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,2,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,19,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25498317233246504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5359783521943545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5363160245314668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4813999712974023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3582317368295561,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AmiRijo,2019/06/21,"Feeling Smothered - Mini Vent Do the people in your life care *too* much at times? 

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Some background:

I've been on a down swing for a while now. A long while.   I am BP1 receiving treatment and am medicated but sometimes it's not enough and I am just in a very depressive state. Right now it's the normal depression that is always there coupled with situational depression from what's currently going on in my life and there is A LOT going on right now.

​

The crux:

Usually I am the person who can just sink that feeling deep somewhere inside me and get my shit done. I have pushed through and done the ""fake it till ya make it"" thing and I reached the point of not being able to hide my depression from my every day people during this last bout. 

​

Everyone keeps checking in, asking questions, begging me to talk about the issues. I appreciate it. I do, really. It's nice to be reminded that people care when every fiber of your being says they don't. The fact of the matter is I just want some damn space. I haven't even had the chance to sit and process the feelings I am feeling right now fully so how am I suppose to explain them to you? How am I supposed to reassure you I'm okay when I'm not but there's nothing anyone can do at the current moment to fix this?

​

It makes me feel smothered at best and guilty at worst because I'm not okay. It doesn't seem to matter how many times I am telling certain people ""I don't want to talk about it right now. I just need time to process. I will reach back out to you."" They are back at messaging or calling within a day. It just never lets up. I can't focus on getting better when i'm hyper focused on everyone wanting me to be better.

​

I'm not trying to kill myself, I'm not having thoughts of suicide and I haven't even attempted in almost five years. Give me some credit. Like let me play Pokemon or Assassins Creed in peace...damn. I work 55-60 hours a week as a manager and i'm a single mom. When my kid goes to bed i don't want to spend the next 1-2 hours comforting everyone else on my own damn well-being. Just UGHHHHHH. Let me do my own thing. 

​

It's not like I am MIA. I see some of these people every. fucking. day. EVERY DAY! It's not even my best friend. She gets it. She knows what's up and respects me when I ask for the space I need. She'll check in weekly and I am fine with that. It's everyone else. People who only give a damn when it's convenient for them to. People who ""worry about me"" but only expect me to be the one who tears down her walls. People who need a sex fix, or an ego boost. A place to stay or some fucking money. I don't know. Now i am just rambling. Sorry. I'm upset. Refocusing....

​

I just... feel like I took a deep breath and jumped into the pool. Instead of floating I am sinking and running out of air. Like I am waiting for an exhale that will never come and the more these people reach out to me the harder it is to breath.",1.2657717611336032,3.5303805822368477,2.866223684210528,91.17341194331983,82.81578947368422,5.386275303643725,21.360425101214574,6.67199483983844,0.4333874190283402,2326,73,485,25,65,763,262,608,0.11699999999999999,0.725,0.158,0.9526,2,0,0,0,1,2,106.0,0,6,4,6,38,37,9,1,33,2,49,9,3,5,4,86,95,36,2,9,23,1,6,4,1,3,3,1,1,2,34,22,0,2,12,2,5,8,18,16,0,2,6,8,65,21,69,78,15,88,0,4,1,3,37,39,6,13,42,334,99,3,0.047907443894971945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047972384844881456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03986283110593053,0.36335386811278425,0.4074895164440312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03349799867491732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957398602449418,0.0,0.0,0.07367573441040516,0.0,0.029203933137557005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10055181342673083,0.08474048193593875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048918856590102366,0.0,0.09768966382937404,0.0,0.0,0.04126802090053351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05300867545564049,0.0,0.1235853521132346,0.0,0.16505044490909654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980518964276154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004104405063353,0.0,0.0,0.04950119601049007,0.0,0.0949272446002943,0.0,0.1614563508505052,0.1831104626802028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14534065854555636,0.03422508749092787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0370131723137025,0.08857931982127054,0.07508898638488476,0.09191437111529,0.05445380878598072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943583640337186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05000292468167041,0.0,0.04258233734793385,0.05300248859145376,0.0,0.05265735655356151,0.039050960895762175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469658216337155,0.06767688882890897,0.09362062875448453,0.0,0.0,0.042396580287708784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04072919561309917,0.0,0.0,0.06395718161458458,0.04857062873885167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04826170960546335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05610861927850977,0.0,0.0,0.035217483563948195,0.10656828784531283,0.07389834826407238,0.0,0.0509501100804039,0.0,0.04693912330361202,0.04596848448813251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03246332383762611,0.07287153974845473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2989169053833407,0.041830932132836035,0.05005308229058638,0.0,0.04528801953508208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053667301295969166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030690735299329718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16365078129791916,0.0,0.03809792224928155,0.0,0.0,0.038176030186622176,0.043613137644223775,0.0,0.0,0.04917630270972108,0.0,0.053849974181162524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04738168700229572,0.053628461200220086,0.0,0.05106296090380135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052402967928311936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701237740211378,0.041873217570270696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06365515395876534,0.0,0.0,0.038033159139195916,0.08380564738984952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05322693291077913,0.032526009677477416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052763281137618766,0.039528658486758086,0.11302820659330193,0.0,0.07685692352015533,0.0,0.04307454551429642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034877189730442563,0.048652334758010465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4074895164440312,0.030850823161115343
bipolarreddit,petit_turdis,2019/06/21,"Moral dilemmas. Recently I hit the good OLDs, with... Meh luck really. I was getting over someone anyway. Met few guys, went on a few dates, nothing special, but hey, I survived a pretty bad breakup! 

And I met That Guy. 

And I'm peeved. Like, I'd tap that. And it's been a while. And the way he looks at me, he's willing And we're texting all day everyday. And we're going to the beach for a day tomo and we all know how that's going to end. 

And he's married. He's told me about his depression on a 1st date, and on a second said his wife (huh?) binned his meds so they're getting a divorce. 
Like fr. 

So basically my question is am I the asshole for sleeping with a married man with a really lame excuse? Yes, probably. Am. I really tho? ;)",-0.605476190476189,1.584024123376622,2.0583116883116896,93.36699134199137,93.48051948051949,5.011255411255411,20.96969696969697,6.655083550727371,0.491977489177489,561,21,124,8,21,193,94,154,0.10400000000000001,0.7190000000000001,0.177,0.8978,0,0,0,0,1,0,34.0,1,0,0,1,6,8,0,0,13,2,6,1,1,1,2,20,19,15,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,3,4,13,0,0,2,1,0,3,0,3,0,1,7,2,13,5,13,10,4,18,1,2,1,0,20,5,0,2,11,70,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15435428374638024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238444846776224,0.0,0.15922367567734835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637352333483744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19316832776666298,0.0,0.2101257126404143,0.15505572047765856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660901898288855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159679201747712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18063108691071356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15523976957691926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053429817268072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17738264370141635,0.0,0.19398438124496348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1880738368696592,0.19931538910596455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20709074684977066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3552871380352516,0.0,0.1825315665971741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17584864170154949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849981843633978,0.0,0.1566352411714004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17664612136598332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14673697610172884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713714079410559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,libra69420,2019/06/21,"a list of things to do when manic / hypo manic - clean your room 
- rearrange your room 
- go to the cheap thrift store and buy some crafts
- WRITE 
- practice your religion 
- make gifts for others 
- MAYBE hang out with friends 
hope you enjoy",4.23,6.860714142857147,3.1145238095238104,91.43464285714286,74.23809523809524,6.104761904761905,20.02380952380953,7.1686216300943375,0.3901238095238093,182,4,34,2,4,52,37,42,0.0,0.757,0.243,0.8979,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,8,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,6,4,1,6,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,2,1,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3961975834030919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914431011917428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5093384162317943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3423062549490005,0.0,0.5151889762937867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3406897679002508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BirbLikesDrinkie,2019/06/21,"Help! What doctor do I go to? I'm freaking lactating I started lactating this morning. Waiting to be able to take the pregnancy test and chugging water. I have an iud so if I'm pregnant that's a huge problem. I'm on zyprexa, lamictal, and prestiq for over a year. Do I call my gyno? My primary doc? My psych? I'm freaking out and don't know what to do. Could this be caused by my meds? I don't know what I should do",-1.475580524344565,0.4196788202247213,1.4408539325842715,95.30030711610488,103.49438202247192,4.620524344569289,22.787265917603,6.42735559955562,0.7446937827715363,321,15,72,5,15,111,55,89,0.114,0.826,0.06,-0.6759,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,11,3,0,1,0,12,21,5,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,4,1,1,2,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,10,0,9,17,0,7,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,2,45,16,3,0.3101781814351951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31672660324504565,0.0,0.0,0.3186384348463513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476520384476684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31748051207384725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1762814085686176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20790589674055868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34093163331309745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34453803490891144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2967986291550686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21954571329816944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332153902882974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997445792531186
bipolarreddit,orchard_guy,2019/06/21,"The worst year of my life. A year today since my diagnosis. 

A year of doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists and some of the lowest, gut wrenchingly numb moods and exhausting highs. 

It’s been 12 months of mourning who I was pre diagnosis, as he’ll never make an appearance again, this Jekyll & Hyde creature I’ve become takes centre stage these days. 

I hope in the next 365 days I’ll get settled on the meds and the therapy to level out and start again. I hope I’ll be strong enough for it.",5.872035087719297,6.530754536842108,6.111315789473686,79.44837719298248,66.78947368421052,9.701754385964913,28.464912280701753,9.725611199111238,2.389701754385965,391,12,77,8,6,125,69,95,0.14400000000000002,0.765,0.09,-0.6597,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,2,8,0,0,8,0,3,5,1,1,1,11,11,5,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,0,5,3,10,7,3,19,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,4,12,41,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223840733092804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22667820198057956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26473352138693074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21007808954478954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120740963009056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723262071183634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21685378291156304,0.0,0.40771139438088544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14497139660833858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700337149421168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279821576334873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638254860112748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158298452252665,0.0,0.2182815653473005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697817022880361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14527425231914526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15431953074591204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347168129736752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19454931249825916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3965152947403187
bipolarreddit,supercerealthrowaway,2019/06/21,"I think I'm hypomanic I'm not sure if this is the right sub, but I'm not sure of much right now so here i go. 

I was recently diagnosed with cyclothymic disorder, which my psychologist told me is like ""baby bipolar"" (his words, not mine), and he told me he calls it that because it could grow into full bipolar without proper treatment. I've had many manic episodes in the past, and depressive episodes, but I'm mostly in mixed states of anxiety and depression with a touch of mania/hypomania, if that makes sense. 

Anywho.

I'm a mom and my youngest has been going through a growth spurt or sleep regression or SOMETHING so this past week she hasn't been sleeping well and I've been sacrificing my sleep to try and let my boyfriend sleep (he has a congenital heart condition that is exacerbated by fatigue). So last night i slept from 11pm to 2am, and then took her to the babysitters, and slept again from 7am to noon thanks to Ambien (I'm currently unmedicated other than emergency PRN Ambien until i see my new psychiatrist on Wednesday). Then I hid in my bed until the afternoon when i had to get my daughter from the sitter and go grocery shopping, etc. I loaded up on caffeine (dumb, i know) in anticipation of another sleepless night for us. My boyfriend was really worn out at work yesterday (he only got 6 hours of sleep and had to work 10 hours plus an hour commute each way) so i really didn't want to wake him up unnecessarily. 

My daughter has been asleep since 8:30pm. I took a unisom at 9pm and tried to sleep on the couch so if she got up I wouldn't wake my boyfriend up. And now it's 4:30am and I've only cat napped maybe an hour or two. I'm not tired, my brain is tired kinda but not really. My boyfriend just got up and told me my eyes are really glassy and asked what i was doing up. Just reading, journaling, listening to podcasts and making playlists... every time i lie down and close my eyes my brain starts racing about everything that needs to be done, chores, stuff i need to list for sale online, paperwork to be faxed in....

I'm not scared or anything, but I'm really hoping that this doesn't get much worse as I'm supposed to go back to work next week and I'm really trying to hold out to see my psychiatrist. And I'm anxious that my boyfriend thinks I'm on drugs but I'm not, I'm just wired from my brain being that way.  

Thanks for letting me ramble.",5.088687719298246,5.552842475789479,5.813210526315789,81.5856403508772,68.45263157894738,9.364912280701756,28.885964912280702,9.3871,2.2538280701754383,1876,62,389,36,30,613,236,475,0.07,0.86,0.07,0.3953,1,0,2,0,0,0,58.0,1,0,0,3,16,12,1,1,13,0,30,24,17,2,2,67,78,43,0,9,23,3,1,1,0,1,7,1,3,0,17,27,0,1,3,3,2,8,12,5,1,1,23,6,44,7,61,48,6,66,0,3,4,0,19,25,1,10,31,227,61,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518774688366275,0.054853254959163315,0.08100494962860108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059006165409340276,0.0,0.06703342773889431,0.0,0.0,0.05513584063747433,0.0,0.04371000618712242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401356576016428,0.07321765579138699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057249695861726936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351685531847198,0.07277790631829321,0.0,0.0,0.0821788331760805,0.0,0.0,0.07337794158278024,0.0,0.0,0.08315371058623854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996875551200762,0.0,0.0,0.06041359276321224,0.0,0.06444280390419498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07492461247162513,0.0,0.16300381922780333,0.0,0.17204437607752454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496941674020239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07121810980061664,0.2824554251849385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039406565032052136,0.05844821429794676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14664410538236633,0.0,0.035030883022038814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572576374958314,0.07269645744933484,0.07203616281922197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397869164618002,0.0,0.0,0.10542117167741397,0.10633500401307773,0.0,0.0692520326836282,0.07625786623874323,0.13457842639595596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090680299214158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689889147206807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172326188781401,0.0,0.27561196435472834,0.0,0.0707989091651293,0.0,0.0,0.12246940556544925,0.0,0.0,0.07178807050249582,0.0,0.11427738228253025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05931417214397991,0.0,0.4305338488447779,0.0,0.0,0.05520113287225894,0.0,0.0,0.05075235961250549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08208376218968698,0.0,0.0,0.1351600748028773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13203055710048414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188987361384286,0.0,0.0,0.04181109611357136,0.16482607296778795,0.0,0.2055483268035943,0.15933124869812165,0.1460466380553978,0.0,0.07004425009799299,0.0,0.08625091227693693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042292793116614616,0.1138303695723925,0.1150330192431816,0.0,0.06447037945433685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691199601664262,0.0,0.15660378741381556,0.0,0.07307235693581539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,idfk-at-all,2019/06/21,I went through a hypomanic episode and didn't change my appearance So far every manic episode I have changed my hair color or/and got new piercings and tattoos. I'm actually proud I didn't this time.,2.034615384615382,4.829951435897434,3.185333333333337,86.11800000000002,85.92307692307692,6.196923076923077,30.87692307692308,7.554174236665415,2.311467692307692,162,9,31,3,5,52,30,39,0.0,0.9059999999999999,0.094,0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,3,7,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,2,5,1,1,3,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,14,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.3269181499754356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7087851979943913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822575382765261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679354090411101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3235514951500975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19534506262382376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.310554506461216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kiduntilidie2,2019/09/07,"Anxious thoughts (trigger: self harm) Anyone else notice their anxiety is different when manic vs depressed? I went through a manic episode and can’t remembering the last weeks of July but started cutting again. I got back on meds and it shifted to hypo but the anxiety was still severe. I could feel the energy just building up and I HAD to release it or something bad would happen. Now I’ve crashed into a depressive episode and am anxious about what people think of me/not doing anything right/being worthless blah blah blah.

Anyone else noticed this?",5.226355555555556,7.878073280000002,5.145333333333333,77.96322222222223,71.2,6.844444444444445,34.111111111111114,7.793537801064563,2.9032777777777783,448,23,68,6,9,139,78,100,0.28800000000000003,0.688,0.024,-0.9756,1,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,7,6,1,0,5,0,8,0,0,1,0,17,15,8,0,2,5,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,5,1,5,0,9,8,0,12,0,3,0,0,2,3,0,1,8,44,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376384577615113,0.3509343486566233,0.0,0.21720644386455604,0.3182869986669056,0.12781496883580873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943134592676607,0.12968555293842213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240102291288338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26755344807965725,0.0,0.0,0.16227614243920335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25949954070632697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07853436235095447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242234401223216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373487942913787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660637472670264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17252529363565394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3536652643698967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767919908588663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759470659945203,0.13264226837226475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16203243494881145,0.17546717432831166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957277733306612,0.0,0.0,0.10993616035230976,0.0,0.12403860023242505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952266217269383,0.0,0.1233065790844574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458818216417147,0.0,0.0,0.1439830191767705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033473608643353,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,toobadimnotamermaid,2019/09/07,"HR & Disability I’m starting a new job and part of the plethora of paperwork includes voluntarily noting if you have a disability. I’ve never thought of having Bipolar Disorder as having a disability, but Bipolar Disorder is listed as one of the many examples. 

I have Bipolar 2 and while in the past it was debilitating, nowadays it’s more just a lasting mild depression with bits of anxiety (although starting a new job and moving doesn’t help) and I haven’t have a hypomania or mixed episode in probably 2 years. 

So I’m not sure whether or not I should opt-in to have my disability on record with HR. I realize I could do it later, but I feel like this would be the easiest time to do it. And what if god forbid my medicines all of a sudden aren’t at the right doses and I have an episode. 

Do any of you have your bipolar disorder down in HR as a disability?",3.970617173524147,5.413981732558142,5.9665116279069785,75.85111806797855,71.79069767441861,9.478354203935599,32.998211091234346,9.851270322608157,3.3974753130590347,686,34,133,18,13,239,97,172,0.13,0.813,0.057,-0.905,3,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,3,0,0,2,4,0,0,14,0,20,5,0,0,3,28,26,19,0,5,10,0,1,1,0,2,5,0,0,0,6,8,0,1,3,0,0,1,6,2,0,1,2,1,12,2,20,20,4,20,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,4,13,96,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17491252135191632,0.0,0.10977993390937446,0.0,0.12349575604390738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17624295801012485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889106542521875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13904195332689598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5550484000325038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08162534419147477,0.1153277234761396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10820509577488767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3203945637779277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158939099448022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07886797942825942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16366766167482666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17157766560375248,0.0,0.0,0.12450703414858308,0.3118258757920206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939113700306904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17481614080365754,0.15410600625707835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17405201149583938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786284737170834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285261294347896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15214863399773546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12815972088579405,0.09413284461266784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467732772928295,0.0,0.0,0.1039575195674667
bipolarreddit,maintainglitches,2019/09/07,"This is such a mood [mood](https://i.imgur.com/FX25QJK.jpg)


From [this comic](http://www.math.brown.edu/~res/Farm/RGB.pdf)",23.567499999999995,31.696654083333346,4.449999999999998,73.84500000000001,49.83333333333333,9.066666666666668,39.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,5.224033333333335,107,4,9,2,2,18,11,12,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,_ChelseaDagger_,2019/09/07,"Obsessing about Misdiagnosis I’m feeling really alone and really just want to get some kind of advice or affirmation. I’ve been obsessing over the possibility of misdiagnosis. 
I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and C-PTSD, and I think it might actually be BPD. I’ve been falling into the deep dark hole of searching for the name of my demon, so that I can fight it. 
I feel like something just isn’t right with me. I feel like my skeleton wants to rip through my skin. I know that’s a really strange thought and no one understands what I mean when I say that.
Reality is a little fuzzy at the moment. I don’t see my psychiatrist until next month and I’m just feeling paranoid, obsessive and afraid to talk about these things to the people I love. My fear of abandonment is a big problem right now, so I’m isolating. I’m floating around with a smile on my face and screaming on the inside.
I just needed to get these thoughts out.",3.3045329670329657,5.375975428571434,4.795700549450551,80.93992445054947,74.93406593406593,8.286263736263738,27.309065934065927,9.017664075816787,2.2957461538461548,736,29,145,17,16,246,110,182,0.172,0.7390000000000001,0.08900000000000001,-0.9242,0,1,1,0,1,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,11,13,1,5,10,0,10,5,2,0,0,36,31,12,0,4,5,0,5,2,0,1,2,2,0,0,9,13,0,1,10,0,0,1,3,9,0,1,5,8,18,4,25,24,1,19,1,1,1,1,5,12,0,3,8,91,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.14859712488558255,0.0,0.0,0.1488000566659048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15770958679793348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13555583989049064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19178334219686224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15455455796821635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17135020032754328,0.307976548049062,0.21756866401212605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15911340332940072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15856958274998134,0.08368562037135313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14878643573583022,0.15261820946942187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13743292189104694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658706545797884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615382879844894,0.0,0.0,0.12154338138109964,0.0,0.0,0.11290898827120288,0.0,0.0,0.16194476324425175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10318457182348366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556738171172032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171665670338994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14570532610800074,0.17799975799537304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2926512143348769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600817445752832,0.0,0.12109412499838315,0.0,0.0,0.12134239082941205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11722770167506573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239179862006895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10116385245155222,0.09757081177926784,0.0,0.2417765513168919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15852224864164513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17962989802955054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AvaMia2019,2019/09/07,Looking for Seroquel Ran out of my script. Willing to travel and pay. Anywhere in Melbourne.,3.0204166666666694,5.845891875000002,2.715,85.09666666666669,99.0,2.1333333333333333,36.583333333333336,3.1291,2.026108333333334,74,5,10,0,3,22,16,16,0.085,0.915,0.0,-0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,5,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LittleStarDarling,2019/09/07,"So, Bipolar (not otherwise specified) just became Bipolar I (rapid cycling) and I'm absolutely devastated It's 2am, I'm cuddled under layers of covers with my labrador teddy typing this, and stroking it's soft fur is no longer enough to keep me out of my head. 

I'm devastated and I'm a crying mess.

At this point all hope is lost. Everything important to me seems so far away that I can't even remember what is important to me anymore. And somehow I'm not able to laugh at silly little me who thought she wanted a diagnosis of what the hell was wrong.

For someone who expected to be diagnosed with depression, handed some SSRIs and sent on her way, Bipolar II would've been a blow. But type I, fully fledged mania, rapid cycling?! 

How could I be so unaware of myself? And how am I the last to know when everyone else, even the people who aren't professional, even people on here who are strangers to me, can see it?

I think I'm out of tissues.",3.1530013368983947,5.061295807486633,4.743526069518719,81.87058322192514,74.88235294117645,7.8835561497326205,28.265040106951872,8.660442795831766,2.2633211229946526,744,31,144,15,16,250,116,187,0.185,0.7759999999999999,0.039,-0.9843,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,12,8,1,0,6,0,13,8,2,2,1,29,29,13,0,4,4,0,3,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,12,10,0,1,5,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,5,4,16,3,23,21,3,15,1,2,1,1,7,11,1,4,2,95,28,3,0.182918505493244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18140600578064187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718579572198961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14604554242209766,0.0,0.20092738909301974,0.0,0.0,0.1575474407482193,0.1856584326713508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528049397496389,0.0,0.0,0.1890037133731799,0.0,0.3624478431983271,0.0,0.0,0.17478647079913642,0.16439535808400585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18772715862618072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18167934902621888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625863722800435,0.0,0.0,0.10052722688689784,0.14910299578470368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18333239691984848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19967715663429975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25362532024253576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729171121771222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072110088922628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14576236633937376,0.16652213746243796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549862561114392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11720679239453748,0.0,0.14521686116629962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10789007379497406,0.14519219550493545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994005811408915,0.19999267072880475,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Representative_Sock,2019/09/07,"Newbie in Need of Advice Recently I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and am beginning treatment this week. The diagnosis has been incredibly helpful — researching about it and reading others' experiences has been like looking in a mirror; and I've only told a few friends and family.

Therefore, I wanted to know how you broach the conversation with those you care about? How do you discuss how they can best support you (if they want to)?

How do you also navigate it with your long-term partner? 
I told him on the day I found out and to be honest, I have a lot of regrets telling him. He doesn't quite get it despite being 'supportive', which has been invalidating. I want to link him to websites explaining bipolar disorder and tell him to speak to me afterwards, when he understands.

My work place has been incredibly supportive though! For those who've had adjustments at work, what has helped?

Any help would be greatly appreciated.",6.624821428571429,8.37015279166667,6.8676190476190495,70.76071428571429,65.72619047619048,10.6,35.42857142857143,10.686352973137794,4.250264285714286,751,36,124,21,12,242,110,168,0.043,0.767,0.19,0.9772,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,6,2,4,9,10,0,0,6,0,21,3,0,5,0,29,38,14,0,7,1,0,0,1,2,1,3,1,0,1,9,10,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,9,2,20,9,20,25,3,12,0,1,1,0,27,6,0,2,7,93,29,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13188545758340173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079308247287824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178028645812217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416366048793681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13760500029849335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704074590805164,0.0,0.0,0.1369858255162154,0.0,0.0,0.3093613397821842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13202088856333666,0.1272322394955917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479812828537033,0.10427300878363263,0.0,0.07051322585470055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14879851075676767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27139098192515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07417279659111642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593669249495526,0.0,0.0,0.1194390729675346,0.11333593928536473,0.0,0.0,0.11474173939807727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007424672465587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264635843513514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410088669271406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14355104342933786,0.13500072666899893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13326086869298984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4594673359925288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359293251871516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13260164462792892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579281602992903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405024955480653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388161519704117,0.0,0.10826014308334858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19651109503869854,0.0,0.0,0.09587469781075147,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,alabama-audrey,2019/07/17,"back on the up i recently stopped taking lithium (and quit smoking weed, which i think i did to feel a bit hypo on the lithium, and  caffeine) .... it was amazing to not feel thirsty, fat and dumb all the time from the lithium.... but of course it's been a rollercoaster bouncing from one state to another trying to get stable.... when the manic depression hits i struggle to pull myself outta it---- it's so chemical, so i started taking 10mg of lexapro (i was first prescribed this about 6 years ago when they thought i had GAD).... and it's crazy how sensitive my brain is to meds, it doesnt take long... i recently fucked up and missed two days and crashed hard (potentially my two best friends now despise me, i also potentially had hallucination, lots of colour, very real, like tv static pictures coming together but idk... hopefully just blood pressure)...but this morning i woke up with a beat in my chest and the colour and form of the world has returned.... and now im like okay it's the upswing... and this is the state i feel i can control... i was very destructive when i was younger and now i have a really stable partner and i want to just be okay (but have the hypomania motivation to fuel my academia and art)... so i know instead of egging myself on with drugs, coffee, no sleep i can force myself to chill... but is this enough? is it delusional i can do it without lithium? i wish i could afford to see my psychiatrist ... i'm hoping now im heading back up i can just force myself to stable in low hypomania and take real good care of myself while there? is this delusional? i feel like i've experienced bipolar since i was a kid, and i accomplished so much unmedicated, if i could do that then, surely on minimal medication i can do this now? any advice or story sharing would be great, having this community is really lovely....",2.868031994667557,5.2019696883852715,4.237021329778372,83.17736502249628,77.328611898017,7.212431261456425,26.52966172304616,8.219915518859313,1.8970767205465755,1432,57,274,27,34,472,188,353,0.10800000000000001,0.708,0.184,0.986,1,0,1,0,0,0,80.0,0,0,1,7,22,24,4,1,15,2,33,11,6,3,2,52,59,32,0,8,11,0,5,3,2,1,4,0,0,2,18,18,1,2,8,2,0,2,4,8,0,4,11,9,39,16,33,42,7,39,0,3,3,2,6,12,2,5,26,194,57,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613808349584253,0.0962813357878277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686000031197055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386245523851072,0.1138931160916516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167037661289439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139855604265348,0.0,0.11858030091247802,0.0,0.0,0.12125113227685475,0.0,0.0,0.11074102693915994,0.0,0.0,0.09356287728154998,0.0,0.0,0.1218218334608364,0.17344172494170568,0.0,0.0,0.07004819277278587,0.0,0.0935506124676758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12595982198939787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11222913593996844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21967760835592914,0.07759513519153513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238852728769034,0.0,0.0,0.08391628247292662,0.10041353873131288,0.05674726228700833,0.0,0.0,0.09110176332504616,0.0,0.11974928129412245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09729840488894836,0.0,0.1114711263025974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157599551400332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23464736270025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05969239233771935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15919255166651586,0.0,0.0,0.09612154767918604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234125232488133,0.0980299824179563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064764630486695,0.10941897175290498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984509605635316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07360086377032345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552625219337233,0.0,0.2472570741400449,0.13916410032905638,0.0,0.21448995919994665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655271441431059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984809591817124,0.0,0.10869422137744288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687880838105451,0.0,0.0,0.09080765587353126,0.0,0.11354879664637503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10236908757419674,0.0,0.3266621977198286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06959660634160214,0.0,0.08622879710532094,0.06333473499279578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07374298513726363,0.0,0.21220366984282665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17923878792321896,0.06406440139407114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490278706161208,0.10470173630373343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715753402865619,0.0,0.0,0.06994500144350073
bipolarreddit,mangosarebomb,2019/07/17,"Poem I wrote for my SO who experiences my bipolar disorder firsthand Lover


Please leave me lover
Don’t get caught in my crossfire.
Take shelter. I love you. 
You are all that I desire.

I am myself no longer
and once I tear your heart again 
I fear it may never grow stronger.

The only description I can give 
is being lost out at sea.
And the feeling of floating, 
is so appealing to me. 

It is not your duty to see
that I return home safely

But again, you pull me back to shore.
If you asked me why, I wouldn’t know what for.

I hate this.
I resent this.
I want this to end.

But wherever the ocean takes me
thank you for being my friend.

-A



Ps: I haven’t given this to him yet 🙈 I’m nervous",-0.5272916666666632,1.6901375208333391,1.4763333333333364,97.30200000000002,93.93055555555556,4.268888888888889,16.227777777777778,5.985473137389443,-0.5533822222222216,529,13,120,5,20,174,96,144,0.13699999999999998,0.6809999999999999,0.182,0.8448,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,7,0,1,6,11,2,2,4,0,12,5,1,0,2,18,29,7,0,4,4,0,1,0,3,2,1,0,1,0,10,3,0,2,2,0,0,3,6,5,0,0,4,2,31,6,12,21,1,13,0,1,1,3,16,3,0,2,7,84,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19465769669738744,0.0,0.0,0.16010841316022484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23863828723848785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18442121587449375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20367922345203315,0.0,0.23430551418725365,0.10528234473947624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16087034171011766,0.0,0.10878641434300804,0.1997437042692135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055742522625011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467418347871741,0.0,0.0,0.2088617491653383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144323279092039,0.0,0.0,0.22047503357407805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272968485409572,0.0,0.18792678017524506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605921864289051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22174762328508055,0.0,0.15836077762965015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22856315521120255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659244705967582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3131112212217026,0.0,0.0,0.19170110350735486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281361661895998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18788626415273604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,omyohno,2019/07/17,"I just want to feel hurt right now. I think I'm coming down a manic episode. All I want is to cry it all out and shut myself in. And yet, I can feel the unrestrained ecstasy slipping and I want to hold on to it. I don't want it gone. I need it. I need to feel alive again.",-1.981612903225809,-0.17707472580645245,0.7550806451612893,103.45262096774192,94.64516129032259,4.390322580645162,14.201612903225806,5.985473137389443,-1.0717806451612906,205,4,56,2,8,70,38,62,0.106,0.703,0.191,0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,2,19,16,3,0,6,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,4,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,3,9,0,9,15,2,11,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,3,36,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277861670899449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904679376933587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4011167825592616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830816817416889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3921483882177632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258248844969805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16943839973321814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6238792505943951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thatonebipolarlady,2019/07/17,"Re-re-re-re-restarting medications You know the struggle, I've been on and off meds and accepting/rejecting diagnoses for the better part of 10 years now. My last diagnosis was Jan 2018 after a pretty bad Manic caused by SSRIs prescribed by my PCP because she thought it could have just been PPD (yes I mentioned previous BD diagnosis and we decided to just ""see what happened""... whoops). Anyway, I was medicated, then I got pregnant so I've been unmedicated but still doing what treatments I can at home (eating right, sleeping right, yoga, meditation, I know this doesn't really do a whole lot without medication) under the supervision of my psychiatrist. However, I'm now done with my pregnancy and breastfeeding and it's time to get on some sort of medication. 
    What is so frustrating to me that I actually feel great, I feel amazing and more clear headed than I feel like I have in years and I really don't want to give that up. I know that sometimes right now I'll cross into hypomania (a little of that going on for the last few weeks actually) but I feel like if I'm careful I can manage it. I know, I know, I know, that's bad. 

So here I am, for a few reasons: 
I need some of you to really help me, I HATE being medicated, I know it's good for me, I know I need to for myself and my family, I still hate it. I feel like I'm always just in zombie mode and I always feel like unmedicated I'm usually ok, I can handle the usual ups and downs its just those super severe episodes where I felt like I really needed help but, again I know that's not true. My ""usual ups and downs"" are pretty bad and my husband and children deserve better. I'm so so sorry this is so ramble-y.. I've been a bit scatterbrained today. My question(s): 
1) What medication have you been on that worked for you with minimal side effects? This is the first time I've started medication while I wasn't suicidal or manic to the point of needing sedation to sit still so I feel like maybe I have better options this time? Something more.. for lack of a better word, mild? PLEASE excuse the Bipolar cliche but I'm an artist and losing my sharpness and creativity to medication feels like it's killing me some days. Does anyone have a medication they feel keeps things stable without any major side effects? Long shot but I knew this would be the place to ask.. 

2) Does anyone manage their treatment (yes I mean actually manage it and keep things mostly stable) without medication and solely with therapy/diet & exercise/good sleep etc.? If yes, how does this work for you and do the benefits outweigh the risks?

TLDR; longtime unmedicated Bipolar I due to pregnancy (not necessarily non-compliant but I REALLY dislike medications), finally seeing psychiatrist again to restart medication but looking for something with less side effects that options I've tried previously (Lithium, Seroquel, Geodon, many various combinations of these and Lamictal). Looking for suggestions and general warm fuzzies, really anxious for the psychiatrist today.",4.410192098191587,6.718743738434168,5.848185779649942,73.56225470259281,72.46975088967972,8.929392112716974,29.262982061151863,9.503096391589818,3.0593720241121365,2399,100,411,61,49,808,262,562,0.10400000000000001,0.723,0.17300000000000001,0.9913,1,0,2,0,0,0,90.0,1,5,2,12,23,30,4,2,20,4,31,19,3,6,2,96,80,40,2,10,19,1,12,7,0,1,15,0,1,1,30,26,1,2,27,2,0,2,8,10,0,1,13,16,59,20,57,63,17,58,0,1,4,0,18,25,0,11,37,270,89,6,0.0,0.0,0.14511786004174398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249148498208267,0.053708464256476095,0.0,0.03370891695390536,0.0,0.0,0.0559993544065967,0.0,0.06932020576457905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04634073219291205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12416522808122273,0.03021706869530554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17536055516019178,0.05411698680906759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050539344629530164,0.050921466306913965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03957716192565559,0.0,0.0,0.03196818607402418,0.0,0.0,0.050311935104879316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013564502767505,0.0507267441700849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05072190905266783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055283025320100265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04672965361655562,0.0,0.22557417058204884,0.21247449409193966,0.04759443302527202,0.054300895275174205,0.0,0.04216373777148173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025897984918282258,0.04755152076596044,0.02817145336309068,0.0831529838633683,0.03964520700607254,0.0546504792644477,0.0,0.0,0.043834089414641286,0.0,0.0,0.09787911324836472,0.05087254312301026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645069745580517,0.0,0.049722186934435336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811918632935405,0.05484123769378287,0.0,0.24517859589626886,0.08081141416444475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16951986141155292,0.0496815982109534,0.0,0.04386739186689223,0.08325168536069934,0.0554555206081838,0.0,0.042142162699407806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0502556288655726,0.04979916203022495,0.053995648648151456,0.05506046985362719,0.5992319134407521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14702043771045692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05367886974150846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05178951132583475,0.054412356380005834,0.046859140202797724,0.0,0.0,0.10085987588312093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05552911391467517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19053270375899709,0.05096563699212362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12699608501089674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900084699068853,0.0,0.0,0.0559993544065967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09921047086642994,0.0,0.0,0.0763219486594883,0.04902544065910719,0.055488926388020665,0.035085502625980966,0.0,0.1187586492078078,0.0,0.0,0.05182073820872514,0.0,0.054220918609463584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06586346266861663,0.0,0.0,0.03935259600120795,0.0867130119873119,0.0,0.09397206050725486,0.0,0.0,0.0336543938852041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16378119514403025,0.0,0.029237338229835236,0.0,0.03976161236192742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05534250616001482,0.0,0.14334950507380714,0.0,0.07217428097920567,0.0,0.0,0.03521270581300731,0.0,0.0,0.06384218443284168
bipolarreddit,poisomike87,2019/07/17,"Switched to Lamictal in the Morning Instead of Night Hello,

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I have been having issues sleeping and my Pdoc had me start taking my lamictal dosage in the morning instead of at night.

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I can sleep a lot better however during the day I have massive panic attacks all the time and lose track of time easily.

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I take 400MG in the morning now instead of at night.

​

I am having issues focusing on anything at work because of the Adrenalin coursing through my veins.",8.956067415730338,9.359680337078656,7.792449438202247,70.89833707865168,60.23595505617978,9.367191011235958,43.642696629213475,8.841846274778883,4.3722835955056185,406,23,59,5,5,124,55,89,0.09699999999999999,0.846,0.057,-0.5574,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,3,4,4,1,1,7,0,8,3,3,0,1,4,11,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,9,1,14,9,2,15,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,1,8,46,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.447339321405118,0.5016764640831933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849382297377212,0.0,0.0,0.11742345508435033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291970545117531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912864397080648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656598202387702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21546202546409415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154726508217056,0.0,0.08775081695909798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905845487415273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110210230996996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065817061056611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305703650785042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552116415896041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12037252252010633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514270404838268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5016764640831933,0.0
bipolarreddit,Lardpoontang,2019/07/17,Can’t deal with this anxiety!!! (Slight vent post) I’ve been on lithium for about 2-3 months now and I cannot stand the anxiety it has given me. At first it was tolerable and I figured the side effect would work itself out but it hasn’t. In fact it has gotten worse. I’m seeing my doctor tomorrow but I cannot stop this uncomfortable feeling I just want to curl up in a ball and scream and rip my hair out.,0.28604651162790873,2.5005892325581414,2.445395348837213,92.84786046511627,86.90697674418604,5.765581395348837,17.902325581395353,7.1686216300943375,0.1567572093023255,318,8,72,5,10,107,63,86,0.17800000000000002,0.759,0.064,-0.8983,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,3,0,9,2,1,1,1,17,15,6,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,7,7,0,1,3,1,0,0,4,1,0,1,4,4,7,0,11,10,0,15,0,0,1,0,1,8,0,0,5,46,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4668622732675047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.314585768629672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3123235484130408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15428786772205225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25955178561672737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435597030723349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.292239611064182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431569398898964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551105632006829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17997937909021536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22214543223474184,0.0,0.31096355811033216,0.2167625820959416,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SirBiscottiTheThird,2019/07/17,"Newly Diagnosed and Confused Hey there Reddit, I finally went for therapy with a Psychiatrist yesterday after 10years of struggling with everything in my head. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 2, and while there is some sort of relief because I can finally tell myself I’m not crazy for feeling this way. I’m also feeling very scared about whats to come. I’m due to see my psych again in two days time to start on my meds, i’ve been given the options of Lithium, anti-convulsants and anti-psychotics as mood stabilisers on top of an anti-depressant. Would love to hear some opinions because I’m utterly clueless and I’m too scared to ask anyone else for help face to face",6.60436046511628,7.296717372093022,7.072393410852714,73.07742732558141,65.2015503875969,10.481007751937987,36.28003875968992,10.411451182825502,4.027766666666668,547,26,93,13,8,179,88,129,0.146,0.754,0.1,-0.6341,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,6,7,0,4,3,0,5,7,3,0,0,18,20,7,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,8,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,4,0,1,4,4,7,2,23,15,2,18,0,0,1,1,6,5,0,6,10,54,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327290123581886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11605258656088915,0.17005954706864132,0.0,0.0,0.15516289297747346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20235190831878075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14297154329228204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10703922876830284,0.0,0.14295280167788613,0.33691938097439084,0.0,0.0,0.19022010252528596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138649629239873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149166352111712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678424584939421,0.0,0.0,0.36363188941807656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17033677696820854,0.0,0.18706428781159712,0.0,0.11124859243366264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14979763643902233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18435923186588074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323370168037839,0.0,0.1322594549835453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11747695453652368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735116230624411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450682249353447,0.0,0.18980525403834625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678052951149796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16213207124027545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13694558606885615,0.0,0.13174210276359882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15385917193810295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11790286956982088,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,caillea,2019/07/17,"Feeling very low tonight I’ve had the best month and now it comes to an end. I just sat on my couch for two hours crying,  watching bubbles on the computer monitor. I had the thoughts “I wish I was dead” over and over also.  What are medicines for, anyway?",3.1385294117647082,4.590990647058824,3.4962254901960783,92.70551470588238,73.90196078431373,6.668627450980392,28.43627450980393,7.1686216300943375,1.2930745098039216,197,8,43,2,4,61,40,51,0.168,0.687,0.14400000000000002,-0.3384,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,7,9,3,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,5,2,5,1,7,4,1,11,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,5,30,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538508341860587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33312605912405874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734401837608107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3486849411190685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28115117387336563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16050352271719268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126072905572257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25337177130146954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520061247689113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3100856459444471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619152410165065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3650319660819096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ClassiccccCommedy,2019/07/17,"Therapy Not Working 
I’m sure that therapy works for a lot of people. But whenever I try it, I seem to get worst. My depression deepens, I become more distrusting of people, and my ability to regulate my emotions go out the window. I’ve seen myself become more suicidal as I talk about issues, and it only gets better whenever I walk it off and don’t talk about things. Has anyone experienced this before and can offer any help? Thanks!",3.391957831325304,5.858596072289162,5.374322289156626,75.01039909638557,76.22891566265059,8.969277108433735,26.037650602409638,9.516144504307137,2.9374108433734936,346,13,58,10,8,119,61,83,0.19399999999999998,0.691,0.115,-0.857,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,3,2,6,1,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,1,10,10,6,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,1,2,9,3,10,9,4,4,0,1,1,0,4,2,0,2,0,40,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390957464615425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12740600984627226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4024749687895146,0.15504794828202215,0.0,0.0,0.1611506224697574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15693787271659948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049625959371044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903952179659152,0.0,0.10355458195698926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221320410256486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19018070829125536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15490908420146296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385795044176256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252644016538109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658778453617727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993090128350744,0.0,0.17173149819179212,0.0,0.0,0.2929082363635493,0.0,0.16775519998070038,0.41674779996731975,0.0,0.1210527418479643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370915496905767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653032272960431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LanfearMoonhunter,2019/07/17,"I have nothing to live for This disease has ruined my life. I've alienated all my friends through either manic episodes where I've said things I don't mean or done things that aren't like me. I go to college but I fucking hate it and don't want to go to class anymore. The only thing I enjoy is sitting at home and drinking and watching TV. I can't hold a job because I always end up losing it by my stupid actions. The people I interact most with are my parents, I live with them and I hate being around them. I just want them to leave me alone but they always insist that me hanging out with them is better than me being alone, even though they are actually awful people and I can barely stand to see them a few hours a day. I don't want to do anything and I can't do anything so what do i fucking have to live for? I'm never going to be able to do the things I want because of my mental health history and issues in relationships with others I've had. So why am I even here. Theres the possibility I could spend a few years pretending to go to school before someone finds out but then I'll just be in this exact same position. I am actually a genius so I deserve to be given tons of money because of the great works I can bring into the world and how much I can save humanity with my once in a generation oratory ability, but my illness will always be brought up against me and I've said some pretty awful things to people and been kicked out of some colleges because of the things I've said and they will always be brought against me and I will never be able to do what i want to. So why should i not kill myself because nothing will ever work out for me.",4.667979631158818,4.6992874219653205,5.807390586292327,82.77236030828519,69.28901734104046,8.093366363886592,29.19295348197082,7.62386473244151,1.6666687586017068,1312,44,274,13,21,439,162,346,0.132,0.772,0.096,-0.7901,2,2,1,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,8,4,15,14,6,0,13,2,40,6,0,1,5,53,63,24,1,7,9,1,0,1,1,5,3,3,1,1,15,23,1,1,2,3,2,9,9,8,0,0,9,5,48,6,46,40,10,33,0,2,2,2,16,14,2,4,9,207,63,7,0.17029419697847956,0.0,0.16618257101775424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17637343002705105,0.0,0.0,0.2833968277395681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444304199344344,0.0,0.0,0.14013761410733885,0.07579896988861068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595244046612264,0.0,0.07245390943420829,0.0,0.0,0.07530568920816816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798302966119571,0.0,0.0,0.05491283448185273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871350441956594,0.0,0.08341174068050679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754150562636806,0.0,0.0,0.11247771102146303,0.07702042534690315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07782290544941398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06578443707627651,0.1574342410224725,0.0,0.0,0.19356423314835866,0.0,0.0,0.09387497668005072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16813026339975207,0.0,0.09050738403623217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08540948225476484,0.0,0.08385274043503928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887144891207772,0.08449535683774008,0.0,0.09420264888615726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015848302963916,0.0,0.0,0.060141913761811425,0.041598571375769465,0.0,0.22555934379947465,0.0,0.0,0.09525782342516363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927501519820506,0.0,0.0,0.08580824846585802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625929145403101,0.0,0.13134138301403936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634018748607419,0.0,0.0,0.0906788809903659,0.0,0.06475820527627275,0.0,0.0,0.09454577639255744,0.0,0.0,0.17709083121871827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599055995997988,0.0,0.08662521009802228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09141611836538564,0.0,0.0,0.24298316745787615,0.0,0.0,0.0861734094577459,0.06785121346391992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214486023715445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3394076925930649,0.0,0.08365659195024598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511098238710272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15366402520515032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12397620359443033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054831939769788174
bipolarreddit,baboperson,2019/07/17,"Bipolar and Not Mobile I am not bipolar but my husband is. I understand he cannot walk and his bipolar is worse with his physical impairment. He is unable to walk at the moment due to his dislocated knee. I am exhausted from being the only one working all day and taking care of the dog, so I do not feel like cooking. I tell him to just order food for himself for tomorrow. He tells me he cannot make decisions because he is bipolar. I tell him I want him to be free to choose because this is the one thing he can actually do. He gets mad at me for not helping his indecisiveness due to his bipolar. I keep telling him I am  not telling him where to order from and he gets mad and states we are not on the same team when I do that. I am beyond exhuasted. Am I wrong for giving him free will for choosing where to get food from?!!!",2.967800269905532,4.19702615789474,4.583274853801171,85.63121457489879,73.97076023391813,7.600719748088169,27.773729194781822,8.139509932561175,1.7131534862798017,647,25,138,10,13,218,86,171,0.13699999999999998,0.757,0.106,-0.7802,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,2,6,9,2,1,5,0,20,10,1,1,1,26,31,8,0,1,8,1,1,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,3,7,3,1,5,2,2,2,8,5,0,2,0,1,28,6,22,28,2,17,0,0,0,0,30,6,0,1,7,99,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.14964443543497974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869576708521586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563473653518126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988960522616229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753679066048898,0.1095510425235566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3708553147255765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24035224870299535,0.14710430150465198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027851820117886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630175381706414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491754027278442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10236023391617972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078236306121624,0.1166272131788724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11529777035927928,0.0,0.6701596657502799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10187685393103413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15963951133057264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044796357457363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11163835581938722,0.0,0.15627357266792688,0.0,0.16766074172528075,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cwillwin,2019/07/17,"I take my medications for my family Before I was diagnosed, I knew something was wrong. I would experience very low moods, and hit the highest, most euphoric moods that would only last about a week. And I was suicidal. I got irritated often and had explosive anger. 

When I started my meds, I saw the effects that it had on my body. I gained 30 pounds, I got metabolic syndrome, I have sexual dysfunction, and I am sedated half the time. But I choose to continue my meds because I need to protect my family. Because without meds, my family is afraid of me and my moods. They live on the edge, wondering how I'll react. When I yell, they look scared and sad. When I shut down and stop functioning from my depression, they look concerned. 

I hate medication, but I need to take it for my family.",3.239545884578998,5.520560225165564,4.8707332071901615,79.3524006622517,75.88741721854305,9.347398297067171,27.34200567644276,9.784248007369934,2.976782024597918,618,25,117,19,14,208,88,151,0.157,0.799,0.043,-0.9136,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,3,2,6,11,2,2,5,0,10,4,1,3,0,23,24,13,1,4,3,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,4,7,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,8,0,1,9,4,32,0,12,12,1,14,0,3,3,0,3,5,0,3,9,79,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15823083797506735,0.0,0.1104370398162523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14416130783714773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178318894201483,0.13172852290978593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12695413250349158,0.4893970573115824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20760102144654569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12813531207902515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10579167944884788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460208025871454,0.0,0.2179725649481452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4324839235114433,0.2614884343493137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19246710603336006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870695108617808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299369131131543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991443920367,0.0,0.0,0.0918621282769874,0.0,0.0,0.10850564294701724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14196316449262708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19516356550068775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567837838302098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708579435052784,0.0,0.0,0.1041052874239421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510761461707431,0.14074574050014615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184390352497272,0.14189896321339526,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CorgiFreak96,2019/07/17,"Being called unstable Has anyone here ever been called “unstable” either behind their back or to their face by someone close to them. It happened to me, a long time friend told another friend to not worry how I feel because I’m “unstable”. It deeply hurt me when I heard this. It may be true but it cut me deep, maybe because I don’t want to believe outwardly I come off as fucked up.",6.724078947368422,5.929275355263162,6.880526315789478,79.57368421052634,65.18421052631578,10.23157894736842,32.1578947368421,9.516144504307137,2.6998263157894744,301,10,60,5,4,97,57,76,0.196,0.6940000000000001,0.111,-0.8440000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,3,0,5,6,2,0,1,0,6,2,1,1,2,12,14,5,0,1,4,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,3,2,10,3,10,8,1,11,0,1,0,1,9,5,1,2,5,41,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22755059641009984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15173623051900628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16686486749020554,0.0,0.2645707150224511,0.0,0.0,0.2444924003906469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4431764997256395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18693218043247709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962951136711336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972518031535386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33531789770097514,0.20061932985986455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918984348834508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23231031403048866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19204422754277325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21801254183041285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838691941424041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12653843547040056,0.0,0.0,0.20735933842884816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279962586513645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22038098316772228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HugOWarsNotTugOWars,2019/07/17,"How to deal with having to start over and over and over again How do you keep going after having to start over with new counselors/doctors/etc?

I was seeing an amazing psychiatrist for almost 10 years. Right before my partner and I managed to conceive my daughter a little over 2 years ago, he retired. I haven't been able to find a good doctor or therapist since AND I have had to move, go through a separation, and had multiple difficult life changes since.

I don't want to give up. I know if I can find the right doctor and I can get back on the same meds and get regular counseling, I will be able to thrive again, but between insurance and the move it's so disheartening.

I just got back from an initial appointment with a counselor who was completely deer in the headlights overwhelmed after talking to me. This has never happened to me before and I'm just feeling defeated I suppose.

Do any of you have any practical techniques or advice (the more specific the better) on how to just make it through until you don't feel quite so overwhelmed? Or how to piece things out a bit so it doesn't trigger anxiety when you have a lot on your plate?",4.8434136771300444,6.175820816143496,5.296746076233188,81.91175588565025,69.53811659192826,8.265582959641256,30.977858744394627,8.660442795831766,2.4449015695067264,914,38,172,15,16,292,129,223,0.059000000000000004,0.8909999999999999,0.05,-0.7183,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,5,0,3,15,8,0,2,14,0,21,3,0,6,1,38,38,23,0,2,8,1,2,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,6,13,0,1,5,0,0,4,5,5,0,0,6,3,20,3,35,30,5,33,0,4,1,0,12,14,0,6,15,130,26,3,0.2585581321666355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633000715693438,0.11459809183036468,0.0,0.12945431036003746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17582839620945873,0.0,0.09889813170137356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19881524379511692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22001392676753234,0.0,0.0,0.11433682819882406,0.1411392571784242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13676011012372102,0.0,0.13554664115119738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13328104050715822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646452043187029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14418033206068304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13073476042607182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23631744862479356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350859524637074,0.12401626022326027,0.14694454498479295,0.10843314702694093,0.1033962790142703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143210511868056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490917394913315,0.0,0.0,0.07104839377973131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131362761084537,0.0,0.12957158704475374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990843892088444,0.0,0.0,0.08629478047901469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359989853932253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27480637575693107,0.0,0.0,0.09970798556507536,0.12485852761211888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750420005439612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22080723213267414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030186778512941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138819587942551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18300877673894744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10390961631378333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15010295990587974,0.08588726705206955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625214268104569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16650295995396128
bipolarreddit,LetsStayCool808,2019/02/06,"How do you know if you’re suicidal? The thought of ending it all has been crossing my mind these past few weeks. But the thought of the pain and suffering I would cause my family (my seven year old son and wife) is heart breaking. My son tells me that I look sad. My wife tells me that everything is going to be alright and I will get through this, but I feel like I won’t get through it and all won’t be alright. 
All I want to do is sleep and watch tv. Is become increasingly difficult to get up for work in the morning. I loved my job but I don’t enjoy work anymore (I’m a chef). 
I’m I suicidal or just going through another episode? 
I felt great a month ago. Now I’m just blah. 
I’m on 40mg Latuda. Maybe I need my dosage increased? 
HELP? I’m confused!",-0.5119461697722585,1.6681407453416168,1.5453416149068318,97.6384265010352,91.85714285714286,5.0542443064182185,20.71014492753623,6.655083550727371,0.2572393374741204,584,21,138,8,21,193,95,161,0.131,0.685,0.184,0.91,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,2,4,11,0,1,6,2,15,4,2,2,3,27,34,11,2,4,7,4,2,2,0,4,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,5,1,0,5,3,5,0,1,4,4,21,6,12,24,6,17,0,2,2,1,9,3,0,3,9,79,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13855558455197214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16390016972032345,0.0,0.0,0.15501326773235552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17262738084419205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605690247126532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384404686482075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404774971311994,0.0,0.14735111634740308,0.0,0.07903286548134653,0.11166483334365697,0.15007799749046086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449898529210441,0.0,0.17766427871442825,0.0,0.0,0.17232760154002044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852230237235916,0.10476842533995817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15510930282031413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590153269045096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636307657481516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13125743319607772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107200950629786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570300986720587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578242134330297,0.0,0.1247617297056032,0.0,0.0,0.11589870642035192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16401655343688998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663203001139636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14921149041421475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15641859616032702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34194616343809464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732361670535617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481785548648692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921931598839524,0.0,0.12537901558994174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22758484283070496,0.0,0.0,0.111035094626104,0.0,0.0,0.10065575515953727
bipolarreddit,Wavromic76,2019/02/06,"I’m having A Time I feel very disconnected from the world around me. I went out with some friends tonight after working all day and it felt nice but left me really confused. I feel like everyone has such a nice time and can be so present in the moment, but I am so stuck inside of my head and I’m watching everything through windows almost. I would say I’m definitely hypomanic and probably verging on mania. I’ve been sleeping maybe 3 hours a night and when I wake up and see the sun, it doesn’t feel like a new day, it just feels like the world has continued and nobody else knows. Everyone things it’s a new fresh start but they don’t see it’s just a continuation of the same exact thing as before. Time feels like it’s slowing down and speeding up, and every time I look at the clock it doesn’t seem like the time I’d expect it to be. My friends don’t seem to struggle like this. Does everyone think this deeply? Or is this normal? Or am I manic? Why can’t I Just coast like everyone else does?  ",2.3548435814455217,4.162842844660194,3.594692556634307,89.67422869471416,76.86407766990291,6.907874865156419,23.58036677454153,7.793537801064563,1.0094334412081991,790,25,172,12,18,257,115,206,0.045,0.747,0.20800000000000002,0.9882,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,1,8,13,0,2,13,0,16,3,3,0,2,39,35,18,0,3,8,0,6,7,2,1,0,1,1,0,13,12,0,0,10,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,4,11,14,11,17,28,3,35,0,0,4,0,4,12,0,7,29,97,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483279116083632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319707665039743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908422582897754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350339101393194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18323138464283192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17491158887321098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820657949897441,0.4001464791793852,0.09408941010993033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646742661385953,0.2991647349615235,0.10051966003614762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16176782438100654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744304354217116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030994258781407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05753536832190868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11374694462802325,0.0,0.0,0.3580267219364941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791396995369498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051760577693032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202222203546672,0.0,0.09824529649534616,0.1025748318844594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287447267491965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706765683237506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08325438770107034,0.0,0.0,0.16685014984536295,0.19061328576052852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047664839102542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07410074187223319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944563589605837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13910393412476216,0.06708168701237807,0.0,0.0,0.3052304625993657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638093797941496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704949221267313,0.09446723323877804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762162056172712,0.0,0.0,0.07436939558449847,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,quietaway,2019/02/06,"I’ve been stable with my job and got a raise! I was a seasonal team member at a retail store, and my manager decided to keep me on and moved me on to sales lead. Around this time I felt myself coming loose and the depression was coming over me. My anxiety began to grow to the point where i felt like the ground was shaking below me all the time and the walls were creaking. I got an intense ptsd flashback where I acted out. There were some nights were i was SURE that all the cameras were watching me and people in photos or paintings were spying on me. This would be around the time work would get complicated and I would need to leave, but for the first time ever, I pushed myself through it and made it! My raise was 50¢ but it really does add up to a lot. I also got a store key, so I can close on my own now! (This is probably not a big deal but this is the first time ever for me)

I’ve been working there for about 2 months now. It doesn’t seem like much, but this is the longest time I’ve kept a job in a while. I’m so happy for making it past those episodes, and I hope to keep working there until I make through my medical leave and go back to school :) ",3.6451639344262285,4.043412491803282,4.478811475409838,90.11362704918035,71.62295081967213,7.575409836065574,23.85655737704917,7.413659706084162,0.7440622950819664,904,21,206,9,16,292,125,244,0.038,0.857,0.105,0.9638,2,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,7,17,7,0,1,19,0,21,1,0,4,5,47,41,20,0,5,6,0,2,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,12,18,0,3,4,1,4,9,2,2,0,2,20,3,27,5,30,17,6,49,0,1,1,0,2,20,0,5,22,147,39,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899382134398821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603541102104803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200235373619014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647863676946076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937572644893912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594646839205199,0.09686593278068392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841887235453928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034620479446624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159680582996962,0.0,0.0,0.1913253294209701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058758316479012924,0.0,0.0639164466890124,0.0,0.26984558383470925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972107522204699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117031132136054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22320830177955994,0.19992810462091806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23816837565065516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988942849335456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561371438029614,0.0,0.10641709468460564,0.15014251087980915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329664748491805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976848360581062,0.1195324880395276,0.08267470948022225,0.0833913665014117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10554077636925832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736056050724538,0.0779690647636578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631576930245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125628303178833,0.0,0.13146555720170747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204795368184527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382057608535324,0.0,0.10238390479291004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10599692395609224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3934754473968439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24562756080074125,0.0,0.0,0.2396757105355857,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kam2516,2019/02/06,"Finally went to go see a doctor I finally went to go see a psychiatrist on Monday and got told all my symptoms do match bipolar and its not all in my head. I got referred to a therapist so the next step is meeting with a therapist a couple times then going back to my psychiatrist for meds to help. While this is great and all, but I'm afraid of what'll happen between getting my meds. Just this last day I've been having horrible mood swings, getting so angry and cold. I've been having more and more thoughts about hurting myself and others. The hurting others bit is what's scaring me the most. Im not a violent person but I'm afraid I'm going to snap and really hurt someone. Does anyone have any tips to control anger and moods swings in general? ",5.642928623988228,5.760422682119208,6.50432671081678,78.3128403237675,67.21192052980132,9.360117733627668,31.34731420161884,9.150863307647796,2.6109729212656374,599,22,115,10,9,199,91,151,0.195,0.7509999999999999,0.054000000000000006,-0.9807,0,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,0,1,5,11,2,3,9,0,9,4,1,1,3,22,27,14,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,6,9,0,1,2,0,0,7,2,8,0,0,8,3,8,1,15,19,7,20,0,3,2,0,4,3,0,1,10,71,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778998736816399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026721322361962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926717252530352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409398467137853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14479260384939568,0.0,0.14284272491893166,0.0,0.0832565061481915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13213564842226702,0.11297314049721455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828376193044818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348950944906282,0.0,0.2934738648851216,0.0,0.2065003884301969,0.14232925047252593,0.0,0.0,0.11415953117890056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13249016348589704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865306040272373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4146011386781381,0.0,0.13944627849770952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10523080641245793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867940230500397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13729549920361211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272200786743845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270246751572849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12924802991008394,0.0,0.20574625310183065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938297133214037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341806026652987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997817699107767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248813127323728,0.07527715626334305,0.0,0.0,0.12335715439774933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23934733539884465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwaway31496,2019/02/06,"Idk what to do I don’t want to do therapy or meds anymore. 

I don’t want a therapist telling me what to think or meds making me feel ways I’m not supposed to feel .
I just want to have control over my body and i feel like everyone is telling me what do with it . 
Honestly I feel like everyone around me is so stupid. They don’t know anything about me . Like I don’t need that stuff I’m fine on my own . 
I feel like everyone is trying to control me or mess me up. 
I feel like I can’t do this anymore 
I feel like everything around me is going so slow and I’m really confused about my life rn 


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bipolarreddit,urlogic,2019/07/06,"Ranting about bipolar and psychiatrists I am reading that most people developed it later in life. I really wish I was that lucky. When I was a kid nobody even recognized that bipolar existed in children and nobody knew how to treat me so my childhood was ruined. I became a labrat, having many medications given to me that either made me a zombie or made my condition worse. I couldn't keep any friends and eventually wasn't able to make any at all due to others not being able to deal with my emotional outbursts. My mom treated me like I was crazy and my dad abused me because I was different. My mom would lock herself in her room all day just so she didn't have to interact with me. My dad screamed at me for hours for years on end because he was so mad that I was mentally ill. I wasn't allowed to go to public school after the 3rd grade and that lasted until the 10th, and I dropped out due to not getting any support for my bipolar disorder. Even after I got a proper diagnosis, I received very little support.

I've had to learn to research medications on my own to stop psychiatrists from trying to put me on three or more medications without even talking to me about my issues. I've gone to so many psychiatrists who simply didn't want to hear me talk. Most of them just wanted to quickly diagnose me, give me a medication then get me the hell out of their office. I swear these people don't even use their education to make intelligent decisions. They just fucking google what medications people give for a certain condition and randomly pick one. I could do their job better than they could if all it takes is reading symptoms of mental illness and what medications target them. I really think psychiatrists don't give a shit about their patients. Every time I've talked about side effects, I was told that my experience was unique and doesn't typically happen. Every time I've asked about side effects I either get ignored or told to google them (yes I was really told this). No psychiatrist has ever told me that a medication could potentially harm me. If I ever got mad at any of them and tried to argue, I was told to get a second opinion or leave their office. I could go on and talk about how horrible mental hospitals are and how much they don't care but I don't have the energy. I doubt anyone will even read this far.",6.737949285228048,6.810196528761061,7.323628318584074,73.51970388019062,64.9070796460177,10.316678012253234,32.428863172226,10.035473477838034,3.1282784887678696,1869,68,343,38,26,618,216,452,0.114,0.848,0.037000000000000005,-0.9741,3,0,0,0,1,0,31.0,0,0,12,3,25,21,6,1,13,1,37,17,1,12,6,71,74,29,0,11,15,4,0,1,1,2,15,2,1,2,17,16,0,3,6,3,0,5,14,11,0,3,28,2,65,10,55,38,10,43,1,1,0,1,43,17,3,12,21,242,82,8,0.13297292758142887,0.07877558764498217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18085230118270604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0464888813697497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06215586863143556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08105906244354708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05880187425771635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06778738092516369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123361251363533,0.0,0.0,0.042878268857095315,0.06854462475739835,0.0,0.06748236121850706,0.0,0.0694642037388263,0.07619924762124915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478832293117905,0.05888727269060767,0.0,0.0,0.2195684114249644,0.12028162584117714,0.11203542656269372,0.0,0.0,0.06503651933947545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051367276997901626,0.06146566442591109,0.13894573281221154,0.1913396231408329,0.07557157910684466,0.0,0.10635059749497948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058793760355210174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493507678113939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06547577415560378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939459447191715,0.06597755628262346,0.059096223885669034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05419534181954538,0.0,0.07039956526684653,0.0,0.0,0.04696135561371195,0.03248192784713691,0.06663690333904786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258221992284302,0.08876046171230849,0.1348136776413079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4688468227687824,0.20100815315359905,0.0,0.0,0.15573628566725292,0.0,0.0,0.048875200916746665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04505294854779539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13828002769793452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683725979418825,0.0,0.0,0.1995133679161556,0.0,0.12777879356260832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728785089909863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824739964501078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055585660795813965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508961024189213,0.0,0.06910489309086547,0.04998954642810615,0.21375720452995672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04260184139134583,0.0,0.0,0.07753758341268835,0.0,0.0,0.3176533268341941,0.0,0.09027988925558167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057422957708129274,0.0,0.05485829565311435,0.07843087789728298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645615215227959,0.06409057851925551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06775538670024794,0.04723007628708625,0.0,0.0,0.042815102836878886
bipolarreddit,FertilityFoes,2019/07/06,"I liked Midsommar, but I would've loved it if they changed this... [minor spoilers] Why did they have to make the homicidal/suicidal sister bipolar? I hate when the general public is given more excuses to fear bipolar people.",4.64725,7.552801225000002,5.420000000000004,74.01500000000001,74.25,9.0,32.5,9.516144504307137,3.92675,179,9,27,5,4,58,34,40,0.203,0.6459999999999999,0.151,-0.5416,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,0,1,4,1,1,2,0,3,3,0,1,0,4,7,3,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,5,2,2,5,1,1,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,1,2,18,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3774520468985471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4015044690633897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3522707576646909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17431674655108692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220301594641635,0.0,0.2381698983643568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24736344319151204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3902864144542173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3219607314604629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534638115222033,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Sopppa,2019/07/06,Feeling lots of emotions Currently on break at work right now and am lost in my mind and emotions. A girl who broke things off with me a few weeks ago has been texting me and is calling me to talk tonight. I’m suspecting she might want to try things again and I’m very hesitant and emotional about it since I just spent the past few weeks getting her out of my head. I also don’t know how to feel about giving someone who abandoned me a second chance. Just needed to vent and put this in words somewhere,5.586764705882351,5.5746525784313725,5.2694117647058825,87.56235294117648,67.33333333333334,8.368627450980393,30.72549019607843,7.793537801064563,1.7814196078431372,401,14,85,4,6,123,75,102,0.115,0.799,0.086,-0.6161,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,8,3,0,0,4,0,6,1,1,1,0,22,17,8,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,6,8,0,1,4,0,1,1,1,3,0,1,3,2,10,0,15,13,3,17,0,3,0,0,8,7,0,2,8,57,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15408919020718426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901123203111396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17749915520812248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5866037124398731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17578663871474634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908186370777925,0.16675290840455526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17839901620498202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955320397415129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18975522009099036,0.14778345851800176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18440542209080446,0.17551804441241636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288922267270534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16593974037119474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17474646303032154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484492762827936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14379339701099908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472850056322011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397174104454645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309689318169768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11801868732172215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434273811160487,0.10252902757471342,0.0,0.27887076574645464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12654980399602192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,chaoticwhitegirl95,2019/07/06,"What to do during a depressive episode? I was diagnosed with Bipolar II in January, and have been relatively stable while getting my medicines right. I wouldn’t say I was stable the whole time, definitely had two hypomanic episodes but my depressive episodes have been... not terrible. I’ve had depressive episodes in the past where I couldn’t get out of bed, almost lost my job, didn’t care about anything , and suicidal. I haven’t had an episode that bad in a long time, but I feel like it’s coming again. I just keep getting bad news again and again and again. A lot of it is financial stress. And I couldn’t get out of bed today. I’m actually still here. On and off crying all day. I think my boyfriend is a little peeved with me because I was supposed to do food shopping, so now I feel guilty too. So, does anyone have any tips for depressive episodes? My mind has been slipping into some pretty dark thoughts... does anyone have any advice?",4.472794001578532,6.177244491712706,4.5770047355958985,85.27493093922655,70.93370165745856,8.044356748224152,29.503157063930544,8.634040054169528,2.170414048934492,747,30,147,13,14,232,109,181,0.21100000000000002,0.69,0.1,-0.9788,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,1,13,11,0,1,7,0,23,3,0,0,1,30,36,11,1,3,4,0,2,1,0,1,2,1,2,0,4,12,1,1,4,1,1,1,6,9,0,1,12,3,17,2,17,21,4,25,0,5,0,0,1,11,0,3,14,95,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.13043698755267866,0.0,0.0,0.13061511892718752,0.0,0.0,0.13384539844368404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18179249252432644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18692224679710465,0.0,0.1099942558057317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22320806419068132,0.08148046171892759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362795702293214,0.0,0.0,0.11513988137705722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14682385816977953,0.08620235761097353,0.0,0.4604991524519221,0.1356663594227182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339409016333599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351692813549518,0.09548973824848224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16162729315692742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793361315102408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326411035839128,0.11880689124434245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.065301581309279,0.13396665315162193,0.0,0.11828861957992665,0.0,0.0,0.14591027464078948,0.11363653136597522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349627485997468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275976127548543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359845546028621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414850491207795,0.0,0.1062951445882862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067444106744395,0.0,0.15311190081786638,0.0,0.0,0.14620695103393164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564662856940591,0.0,0.10611445221074664,0.15588135136489364,0.0,0.12669804202417034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13057051088732033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14923131691133107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Alienatti,2019/07/06,"Help with a situation? Tldr as this is basically a bitchy rant- 

There's this girl I know. She's a bit of a vapid moron and seems only to be able to think about and talk about herself but, for better or for worse, knows about my BP.

Now the last time we met(I immensely dislike interacting with her and do it only once in 5-6 months if ever) we were talking and the bipolar came up- I said something about hallucinations. She goes 'yeah I hallucinated once too haha. Then I went to a doctor and got some medicine. But then I stopped taking it and felt better'. 

I still relive the pure, visceral rage my stigmatised soul felt in that moment every time I think about it. Since then whenever she texts or calls me I get triggered as fuck and imagine malicious intent behind everything. 

Assuming her statement was a flippant dismissal of my condition, is my reaction justified?",3.626341463414634,6.194440597560978,4.740426829268294,79.33246951219516,75.95121951219512,7.758536585365856,26.713414634146343,8.660442795831766,2.2914219512195118,694,27,123,15,16,227,111,164,0.147,0.762,0.091,-0.8693,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,2,0,0,2,10,6,3,0,9,2,6,3,0,2,2,33,20,17,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,6,12,0,1,10,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,8,3,21,3,20,11,2,17,1,0,0,1,15,3,1,6,12,83,27,1,0.1581542770182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797492115032008,0.1726635089052511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16149319954381133,0.1808863601286824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618776040986548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430595980661991,0.1332517995258691,0.0,0.14213886633730638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3037058156801329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14621108063925814,0.08262908216494866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649042299961472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600747813621897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.173834909115077,0.12891684433999762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262372350361114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33685828685432084,0.0,0.2405669087540165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15044093440932682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397771393813355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13082685227065868,0.17777203377290482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12175488916749548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263022099229426,0.1322240572669566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891233377505993,0.2542368341793829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20267774944689768,0.0,0.0,0.18444206154463508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466105992757703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16117271977943362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lovedcore,2019/07/06,"i’m making impulsive choices again lately a lot has been going on in my life.. i’ve been making really irrational decisions and thinking about hurting myself. i even considered buying a switchblade just to cut myself with.. and i don’t know why. my life is decently okay right now, my family is tame, but somehow i still feel terrible and trapped in my own head. i want to drop a friend of mine who i’ve known online for 3 years. we have met multiple times and they know my deepest secrets. i just don’t know how to go about doing it. i know this post is all over the place but.. please help me? i need tips on dropping a close friend.",2.8118611309949912,4.692941811023623,3.9646957766642816,87.20140300644239,75.77165354330708,7.452827487473158,24.14387974230494,8.296473431620573,1.4601244094488193,498,16,101,9,11,162,88,127,0.125,0.7390000000000001,0.136,0.3299,0,1,0,0,0,2,16.0,1,0,1,0,10,6,1,0,5,1,10,3,1,3,1,28,24,7,0,2,4,0,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,9,0,1,2,2,3,0,0,3,1,18,3,13,21,3,19,0,1,0,0,8,8,0,2,6,66,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285896134052827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183534556081154,0.0,0.09844012208052837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.300830991488024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22129139794539254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19980609519205034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13049528848330058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084175720468346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4279818181183537,0.0,0.21961658765154424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2750278386660784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16551680838043584,0.0,0.0,0.259911555200204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14435871380226686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20340756318979947,0.21370900275613927,0.0,0.0,0.18645732431632014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12472214285420552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16626252128021832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554781191831931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474823403134296,0.0,0.0,0.1135241609973664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11483204940997566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17567567312655713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12537271381551082
bipolarreddit,mynameis2795,2019/07/06,"Could I be bipolar After feeling depressed and overwhelmed these passed few weeks and overly down and disassociated from everything I'm hyped up at 230 in the morning. I mostly suffer from depression and more often than not if I'm not overwhelmingly depressed and stressed out thinking about ways I could end it when that ends I'm more middling. Where I'm not depressed but not happy either or lashing out in anger at everything or nothing at all. There are rare occasions like now where I cant hear or listen to anything negative for a few hours where I'm on an indescribable high. Blood boiling, I can do anything just not nothing I would try to sleep but I'm too energized to do so. Typically I put on upbeat music to help work it out where I know ill crash into depression again. Maybe it's the whacky sleep schedule or coming off of depression but currently everything right now is radiating in my body right now I wish I could stay like this. I just want it to last I haven't felt like this in a long time probably months but once my energy wears itself out I know I won't feel like this for a long time and it last so briefly.",5.26575485799701,6.255765112107627,5.7120358744394615,80.58927952167416,68.28251121076235,8.995994020926759,30.113303437967115,9.21078282632365,2.467836711509716,912,34,177,17,15,293,129,223,0.179,0.691,0.13,-0.9434,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,17,17,1,3,6,0,13,8,5,0,1,44,30,18,0,7,17,0,3,4,0,2,2,2,0,0,11,12,1,0,6,0,0,3,9,11,0,0,1,5,16,6,31,23,7,50,0,9,0,0,3,26,0,7,23,121,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17352021262592113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11710923183600185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09081881845519614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525324090232364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5448414800994783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18675980294692865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28426171124898403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10661739683310806,0.07531938628565536,0.101229566439896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122324535754095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882754569894262,0.0,0.070667669152693,0.11139283969024953,0.0,0.0,0.10382755152666907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11588340804360235,0.17187943839813935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20603156393198696,0.0,0.0,0.18660489377724399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10591884934763314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415341367539539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023263222363171,0.0,0.0,0.11227976735836898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367163325965335,0.0,0.0,0.1059865137094912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18007370201456138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110127658580136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11237461053159348,0.0,0.0,0.12076998653638185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06755544228738801,0.0,0.0,0.1229544444621934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07158021401342719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06218548861147824,0.08368561909787371,0.08456978105426473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123957569797228,0.0,0.0,0.07675447218539973,0.0,0.0,0.07489461930838838,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,saturnsrevengebody,2019/07/06,"Thinking of volunteering with a local early intervention for psychosis program run by a community mental health organization. Have you been in an early intervention program? If you’ve utilized one, what are some things you wish the people who ran it could have done better? What did you like about it? Did you find it helpful? 

I haven’t personally experienced psychosis though I think I came close last fall between my mixed state, untreated sleep disorder, and living in a moldy apartment. My brain was not well. 

But I sort of feel like there is a high likelihood that I’ll experience it at some point in the course of this illness. There’s such a stigma around it and I have been afraid of psychosis for a long time, but I realized that it wasn’t even the actual experience I feared. It was how people and society would react. 

Ever since I had that realization I’ve felt really passionate about advocating for people who live w psychosis. I am now feeling ready to actually take that into the real world by volunteering for a local early intervention program for young adults. I’m wondering if you have any thoughts on how these programs work, if they help, etc. 

Thank you",6.056563953488372,7.9233925953488376,6.4999273255814005,72.39500726744187,67.23255813953489,9.65406976744186,30.646802325581394,9.978442167317967,3.2250988372093032,948,37,161,23,16,307,133,215,0.045,0.8290000000000001,0.126,0.9467,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,6,1,2,13,8,0,2,12,0,19,5,2,3,1,34,32,11,0,6,6,0,3,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,18,8,0,0,9,0,0,4,3,2,1,1,13,4,18,6,23,17,3,28,0,0,0,1,13,14,0,7,11,113,36,5,0.0,0.0,0.2694454912031421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388281722137712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228991136028754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12209931700309445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15411615891557648,0.0,0.15789929064114766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11022648589653647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582241418007739,0.0,0.0,0.14127922465346046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15396893850576324,0.09118468895376926,0.12487955995129064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27009052659801697,0.0,0.15535138694830578,0.13961052801664758,0.0986272372199284,0.13255541441977448,0.0,0.1261806870434854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14674707702379097,0.0,0.0,0.1850720594793127,0.1458637485847924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253406978005263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134894380668785,0.0,0.2438119626035264,0.12217521963845915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391279814457454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09355032158587198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871319520035737,0.12054517808579883,0.0,0.0,0.13050754792347202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571379574590646,0.08844221162687697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11420135357721566,0.0,0.13815570692372398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380093412354582,0.0,0.0,0.12710342056050686,0.0,0.0,0.09171827495585473,0.1769214264892208,0.13563932350045707,0.10960104659013882,0.08050156645744462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412892793057807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15875759193599134,0.0,0.1497158478360948,0.1005064155356978,0.0,0.0,0.09807102459664416,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,KingMedic,2019/07/06,"Not sure if thia belongs but How is Bipolar disorder diagnosed? I'm not sure if I have it or not, but sometimes I wonder because of how I act, but thats only in certain situations.",5.896216216216217,5.165798216216217,7.889864864864865,71.4466891891892,66.83783783783784,10.643243243243244,40.12162162162162,10.125756701596842,4.205227027027028,142,8,27,3,2,51,27,37,0.196,0.7340000000000001,0.07,-0.5892,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,3,15,4,8,0,2,9,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902691384125296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31680136285885674,0.0,0.0,0.357723485950145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373859202016504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35084274925318715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087006369996473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5883502022494117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3384873786033539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ambyoops,2019/07/06,"Fuck zyprexa My doctor put me on zyprexa last year and I quickly gained about 60 pounds. I’ve never gained weight like that before. I went from being about 120 to almost 180! I stopped taking it but the damage was done. NONE of my clothes fit anymore and I went from being super self confident to hating my appearance and feeling uncomfortable in my own body. I started eating less, cut out soda, and started drinking more water and FINALLY it’s starting to pay off! I went to the doctor the other day and I’ve dropped down to 155! I’m not where I want to be yet but I’m relieved that I’m getting smaller again and can fit into some of my clothes.",1.5259487179487188,4.033305338461542,2.7669230769230784,90.66141025641028,84.07692307692307,4.6974358974358985,24.051282051282055,6.079149491110277,0.6494512820512819,514,20,100,4,15,165,84,130,0.151,0.675,0.174,0.7481,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,3,6,7,3,0,3,0,6,9,1,0,1,19,22,9,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,9,5,1,1,1,1,5,3,4,0,0,5,2,13,3,18,14,5,27,0,1,0,1,1,9,1,3,13,65,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17045190517391015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16881365274180127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14484567133384474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18907733717581746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977856733308196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484571440364094,0.0,0.17419534807414536,0.0,0.16675193471738706,0.0,0.17417874430871105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606893399340111,0.0,0.0,0.1864689624368781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15736672120185038,0.08893353143527002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16805815630823134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13875296600487316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316146146569937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312850538027841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17111928303655952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17757779564157644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3614502433940973,0.0,0.0,0.14231251328649122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12798512940897294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10040085152382336,0.0,0.0,0.20728351725735847,0.0,0.4733901671595651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961684729660844
bipolarreddit,cold-bones00,2019/07/06,"I need people who relate  I have rapid cycling bipolar disorder (type II). I have mood shifts  daily, sometimes every couple days, right now I basically turned to  reddit and luckily I found a bipolar sub that doesn't seem memes only.  Anyone else RCBP how do you deal with the mood shifts? I am just at home  on my pc, trying to wait until I'm exhausted enough to sleep",4.841690140845074,6.0490627464788735,5.570535211267606,80.4163661971831,69.4225352112676,7.933521126760564,25.46760563380281,8.238735603445708,1.6098033802816896,289,8,53,4,5,94,59,71,0.077,0.8740000000000001,0.049,-0.2263,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,5,4,1,1,0,8,11,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,8,0,7,10,1,6,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,3,29,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16943854348483434,0.2482895281776687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681268468730746,0.0,0.15627890386334065,0.2498253569543918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777242461244921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20243056987610147,0.0,0.0,0.25038542254929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041683832366556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26569570877871385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24307068451768166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17968014198315835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18429828713499788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16799691880323056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20694333333439832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206026273675323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424989582278768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23966458747085465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16452205872382628,0.263578877709884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RNApolII,2019/07/06,"Kicking benzodiazepine addiction & severe insomnia I was severely addicted to benzodiazepines, but came off of them almost a year ago and now I am struggling with severe insomnia. My body won't sleep more than two or three hours without a large dose of Seroquel. I've tried other medications to induce sleep (trazodone, imipramine, melatonin, Zyprexa which made me gain a lot of weight), and nothing seems to be working except the Seroquel (and Zyprexa, but I refuse to take that again). Unfortunately, I have gained a lot of weight on Seroquel, I don't recognize my body at this point, and I'd like to find something that will help me sleep 7-10 hours straight (especially because the Seroquel hangover is difficult to manage with my job). Any suggestions? My sleep hygiene is excellent. Has anyone ever been severely addicted to benzodiazepines, and how long did it take before you felt back to normal?",9.109170182841073,9.680244797468356,8.0604641350211,68.54142756680731,59.886075949367076,11.326019690576654,40.34036568213784,10.980518767755715,4.717377496483827,730,36,115,17,9,225,108,158,0.138,0.736,0.126,0.1306,1,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,1,4,5,4,0,1,6,0,12,15,6,3,1,25,18,9,0,1,5,0,3,1,0,2,7,0,0,0,6,8,2,1,4,0,0,1,3,2,0,2,6,3,13,2,20,9,3,15,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,5,10,75,19,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3457628825601162,0.0,0.0,0.09371756377831526,0.0,0.10586688132210256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11455144144105407,0.0,0.07189565145722898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392437673700113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08129489764127636,0.0,0.06444810558427443,0.0,0.08996296921102137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23487010010323195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209195963784386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09563301978059688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151120466933146,0.0,0.0966294255414233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07086427887768193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082328356033625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491432753632662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05165119487857372,0.0,0.0,0.09356203049514976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17976479310999846,0.0,0.10003819605447482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065053717826271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358664911521998,0.10144461459645956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994294436135708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624676534208627,0.0,0.4777501539728428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4231996800178441,0.0,0.0,0.08139116760800245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052522801623768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15898193091252802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177936259665581,0.0,0.10327656341574087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574856467473694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10191374651644593,0.0,0.07696801645322374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808251132079073
bipolarreddit,Vetr_Es_Komandi,2019/03/19,"Medications I'm wanting to talk to my doctor about going off my meds, I don't want to take them anymore. The problem is, I don't think my family will support this decision",5.756285714285713,5.5239110571428585,7.417857142857144,73.04964285714289,67.0,10.428571428571429,34.64285714285714,10.125756701596842,3.5038571428571434,137,6,26,3,2,48,27,35,0.11699999999999999,0.8029999999999999,0.08,-0.0572,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,0,5,11,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,6,1,5,10,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,17,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30306265026430834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31278378217645353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880825654017702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17367354405255458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3394410225638842,0.3078492519103254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29240786203064795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3467793210164339,0.0,0.0,0.22976525821894814,0.24562124886260295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958093999104941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3604891862406668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kitler4420,2019/03/19,". I don't want to be married anymore... And I'm really struggling within my realtionship. I also, just generally really struggling with life right now...  I know these are just thoughts, but also unsure of everything. 

(My husband is not abusive, he's not mean, angry, or anything. I just want to break up with him... ) ",2.6382706766917248,5.529248315789476,4.354135338345866,78.34894736842108,83.3859649122807,6.76591478696742,27.441102756892228,7.957251820313856,2.392099749373433,242,11,40,5,7,81,43,57,0.15,0.715,0.135,0.47100000000000003,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,16,10,5,0,2,7,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,7,0,7,8,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,1,30,8,0,0.0,0.2858374737217779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858492349906871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392515525865053,0.0,0.0,0.1985251890472672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21681666210750156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13258268383346292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17039943023552284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26278799697982136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3090971762449643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20602306321483674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5044061266723122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915226529919204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845866932909969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,scooby6920,2019/03/19,Had a good day and now feeling drained the next is it normal that yesterday I actually had the best day I have had in a long time and now today just feel depressed and drained? I've got no energy or will/want to do anything but cry and sleep.,8.959411764705884,5.059528960784316,8.931470588235298,76.44661764705886,63.31372549019608,12.55294117647059,39.22549019607843,10.125756701596842,3.549972549019608,191,7,43,3,2,63,39,51,0.20800000000000002,0.6579999999999999,0.134,-0.6187,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,4,0,6,1,1,0,0,10,9,6,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,2,2,2,2,5,1,10,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,9,27,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.2592321107929447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186039684188749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27877901770870056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917995837089098,0.3426393009850221,0.0,0.22880045290117995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686371310580761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228112051759026,0.2124613198964847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23508829137980436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825174635107913,0.0,0.26027661243968825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26583777938913056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15490027984300914,0.0,0.25180128338976193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15668485397539408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SellMeBtc,2019/03/19,I'm tired of feeling like shit Sorry for the pointless post. I've been feeling like shit for the better part of a few months now and I just want it to stop.. Missed appointment with psych on monday so I gotta deal with that when her office is open tomorrow. Too many things I need to do and not enough energy to do them :/,1.868557213930348,3.664849313432839,2.8545522388059688,94.485907960199,78.25373134328359,6.257711442786071,18.629353233830845,7.1686216300943375,0.04445472636815895,252,5,57,3,6,80,52,67,0.228,0.615,0.156,-0.7659,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,1,5,6,2,0,3,0,4,3,2,0,0,12,11,4,0,2,2,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,5,3,10,9,3,9,0,1,0,0,3,2,2,0,8,36,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002132223697988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333861015834291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23390931318779865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289273550175034,0.3234494256299889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22119401890340853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295120790010155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18069301052771225,0.0,0.0,0.16785665146497514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24514565374861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21680784814781945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4647481725293473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534119887528309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892624071251282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503956928657144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601885704456444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335237949073249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tilliedelaney,2019/03/19,"Should I go on medication? I have recently been diagnosed with unspecified bipolar a few months ago and ever since I start realizing my bad bad habits and I was going to therapy and reaching out and getting help and I feel like I am high functioning without the need of medication. But I’m worried that’s just another symptom, that I only think that because I’m doing okay right now. But I’m scared I won’t be able to afford it, and I’m scared it’ll make me not myself, I’m scared of it changing me. And I little part of me feels like I was making this whole illness up and I’m actually fine. Idk. So I don’t know if I should take medication or not, any thoughts? ",1.9228804042672685,3.966838233576645,4.195912408759123,83.75014037057835,79.07299270072993,7.4270634475014035,25.86692869174621,8.384062270229773,1.8271037619315,526,21,109,11,13,182,88,137,0.165,0.738,0.09699999999999999,-0.8796,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,3,2,1,12,7,0,2,1,30,31,13,0,4,8,0,2,2,0,4,7,0,0,0,7,10,0,0,6,0,0,2,5,5,0,0,4,2,17,4,10,22,3,14,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,2,8,68,24,0,0.13887614449529648,0.0,0.13552308390272408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310532278800748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09444054052271653,0.14562374633742206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319115595862833,0.08465760868256232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14691254655640934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14095636334284992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12562142350531685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14043990283614813,0.19842629075241108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255705359730863,0.0,0.15785302663736556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308575227170976,0.14673027148870804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07632269708967153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13569573859077114,0.1391903808565192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18540180968309136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.419709315202797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084961358044236,0.0,0.0,0.10297490145002497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562156588741818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15038933110692024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13712343854619746,0.0,0.0,0.11859946859262135,0.0,0.0,0.4171177433372436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148797818329882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09829724986536376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14434548885662613,0.1044175773110312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15881697440637674,0.0,0.0,0.0889862258196462,0.0,0.110252146113392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550502557759584,0.0,0.13387164748669256,0.0,0.0,0.14103546594344868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,abrainadickandaheart,2019/03/19,"How did your moods change as you got older? I'm 24 and this year has been wild in terms of my mood changes/the severity of my mania. My insomnia reached a high score this week. My impulsivity is getting harder to manage. It kind of feels like the older I get, the more bipolar I become.


What has been your experience? How did medication affect you over time? ",1.9195714285714305,4.5051923142857175,3.4996428571428595,85.55660714285716,83.0,6.357142857142858,21.607142857142854,7.645422480735847,1.0217142857142858,282,9,56,5,8,93,53,70,0.0,0.934,0.066,0.5329999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,4,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,7,3,0,3,0,5,12,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,10,2,7,7,2,9,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,7,35,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3198620430396512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063790858532112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28330349735816285,0.0,0.0,0.1464403485502569,0.20690426718123944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3026285266222694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316352145107045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30599895992166104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015941975384031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14149348479114976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917612310407993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3271876589885414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16887949094303467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323153365635295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865054971672631
bipolarreddit,classictom,2019/03/19,"What is the longest amount of time you've been stable? I've been so stable for the past 2 years (thanks to regimented medication, therapy) that I'm getting this idea in my head that I'm not bipolar or don't have any problems anymore. I realize this is dangerous thinking. Has this happened to anyone else? When I worked at a mental hospital a lot of older people came in not having had an episode in 10 years and then having it hit them all at once for whatever reason. I'm just curious how long you guys' stable periods have been. Looking for words of encouragement that this can last a long time. I'm scared that one day my medications will stop working and it will all come back.",6.066194029850745,6.303231104477618,6.70518656716418,76.82330223880598,66.31343283582089,9.98358208955224,32.421641791044784,9.827888789773867,3.008734328358209,544,21,104,11,8,179,90,134,0.061,0.833,0.106,0.6271,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,1,2,5,5,1,1,6,0,15,4,1,2,2,19,27,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,11,4,0,1,4,0,0,2,3,3,0,1,5,1,6,2,13,19,4,22,0,0,1,0,4,5,0,2,15,66,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370750884341548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16582589447260407,0.11691606587036985,0.1713248605323476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12857300970378144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912419707709743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14403531078886114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078356449627468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396812399058963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735953614733534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16556269623130598,0.14786191785912406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160415313718785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887580355438622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13629723855141435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959485085482301,0.1404130213131074,0.0,0.0,0.14215468104110654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33688993029151115,0.16850683276051553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17807158760540365,0.11330480202726352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15961942629484338,0.1159213153090855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999594549102547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719181790063651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16740487092636722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13979378697806707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539431148868563,0.19121748373998115,0.0,0.0,0.10714045052395406,0.0,0.0,0.19500123346925727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434595482237641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153535742755233
bipolarreddit,rhysdahl,2019/03/19,"I thought Bipolar was going to run my life. I'm so glad I was wrong. This is a celebration point for me and I wanted to share it with people who would understand the significance.

I've been receiving treatment for Bipolar II for over a decade and it's never been easy to deal with -- until this year. March/April is one of my depressive times and, instead of being crippled by my emotions, I was proactive. I spoke with my psychiatrist early-on so that he could make the right medication adjustments to keep the episode from getting worse. 

For the first time I feel like I'm managing my Bipolar, rather than it managing me. I now have hope that I can continue functioning as an adult as long as I use all my skills and resources. 

Anyone else have something to celebrate? ",4.8928385899814435,6.504560510204081,5.3551515151515146,80.47090909090909,69.74829931972789,8.88286951144094,31.050711193568336,9.339509955726095,2.8064748299319726,613,26,115,13,11,196,97,147,0.076,0.792,0.132,0.8223,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,5,6,0,0,7,0,13,5,0,2,2,21,26,10,0,5,1,0,1,1,0,1,5,1,0,1,8,7,0,1,4,0,0,3,1,2,0,2,7,2,17,4,22,16,1,15,0,1,0,0,7,3,0,1,10,80,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14315026280692242,0.2097675681095624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16345828949355615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110651140426932,0.1763315384482067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710235975943259,0.2302909376832981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351640043352993,0.14625740231414974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17414114907298486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696169482855636,0.0,0.11635138436475985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20334065070126486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819712527140938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446051227691307,0.10001953952840778,0.0,0.0,0.18117743896278546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13665722906863256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20624146775390914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157898507275906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13872868597436824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14193230526434594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935337081288496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17483620871428926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15760926973654282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16253080606365022,0.23875656105079926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131285991996768,0.0,0.17681887033785074,0.0,0.0,0.12075361304003507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20863486336834974,0.14543257728904552,0.2238374367777495,0.0,0.13183782966205673
bipolarreddit,noviceProgrammer1,2019/03/19,Any apps for tracking mood or sleep you like? Anyone have any success stories with any apps that help? ,3.647368421052629,6.460944526315793,2.399210526315791,94.78197368421051,77.42105263157895,3.8,25.28947368421053,3.1291,0.17971578947368405,82,3,15,0,2,23,16,19,0.0,0.633,0.3670000000000001,0.8504,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,6,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8102071291348073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776897528348051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661947919611027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194022704993256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3974271401773711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Bipolarapparently,2019/03/19,Do people hate you when you’re manic? Like most people hate the person I become. I’ve said some pretty racist or hurtful things. It usually effects my family the most as they’re jumping through loopholes trying to make me better but all that does is anger me and I have been known to act out in violence when this happens. Any form of “let me correct this” I can flip out on them. Not many others see what I become. They just see all the crazy posting ms on social media. They know something is up. My friends just think I’ve become a lot more chattier. My colleagues last time just saw all my racist rants and hated me. The stupid thing is I’m not even a racist. I guess I thought it’d be cool to turn super right wing for a while. But I’m not entirely into politics usually but I’m by no means a racist. I am actually happy when I’m manic but I have a really short fuse and say some pretty bad stuff. No one really wins with my manic episodes I guess. No one admires my new found confidence like I know some other people can get. I turn into a bit of a monster. I find most things I done kinda embarrasing. I feel so much shame in what I did. I wish it never happened,1.1260676667730607,3.3799183526970964,2.909647302904564,90.71137807213535,83.31535269709545,5.699393552505588,19.642674752633265,7.010146845296331,0.3785913182253431,917,25,192,12,26,304,141,241,0.239,0.601,0.161,-0.978,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,3,4,8,17,5,1,11,1,15,0,0,2,5,46,42,14,0,1,11,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,1,14,8,0,0,10,0,0,2,7,8,0,2,7,7,30,9,19,32,14,24,0,1,3,0,9,11,0,11,12,127,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.10413544934212604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256777104117143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910000337095864,0.0,0.35356482501443154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943780293647434,0.11650178834189832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933843282038897,0.1092033529772697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048222269315171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059850956103124,0.0,0.05395675764692675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753276987414887,0.0,0.0,0.11700412220227975,0.08244537165001489,0.0,0.05575257854019791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351104412482829,0.0,0.18873001282062224,0.11359683274142447,0.0,0.31606781180330884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142373270838958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729217086206173,0.08698446480226192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10912017737674268,0.0,0.10426811658229683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907226659976127,0.0,0.0,0.07123104125216846,0.10818914692613522,0.0,0.1162405743761112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07844554626119142,0.0,0.08230281824152333,0.10306304601106972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14462152965997105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22194184589142774,0.09317674034877207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220053009889676,0.2171287908874604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13672478848989306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911314043185062,0.10150748128332387,0.08486160905944752,0.0,0.0,0.17007118277689762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877937308519127,0.0,0.08215205643229839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12215962812189607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21268399184037745,0.06837669527679993,0.0,0.08471735180327485,0.062224583965821874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245039504919322,0.2321438713426277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350562273342224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12271345197804187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Throwaway7777666432,2019/03/19,"Mania. It is 6 am and I haven't slept yet and got school in 2 hours. I think I'm going to skip meds today folks, wish me luck.",-2.765000000000001,-1.126246499999997,0.3150000000000013,106.1625,97.33333333333331,3.0,7.5,3.1291,-2.5639999999999996,95,0,27,0,4,33,27,30,0.0,0.794,0.20600000000000002,0.6908,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,5,9,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,2,7,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,12,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21759024841884772,0.0,0.3062110544985233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770435958150788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4252752301805571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38747847711386985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453235822514052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3629099948566036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4402743289628303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Sinop257,2019/03/19,"Anyone else feel really insecure in their relationships while depressed? I had probably my worst manic episode last month and not I’m quickly falling into a very bad depressive episode. On top of the normal sleeping too much and other general depressive episode symptoms, I’ve suddenly become very convinced that all my friends hate me, that they secretly think I’m annoying, that no one cares about me, that they all just use me, that no one would care if I died, they all think I’m just being dramatic. These are people I have known for about 6 years and who I’m so close to, they’re practically my siblings. They know everything about me. I’ve never ever felt insecure in our friendships like this. The thing is, i don’t even know if these feelings are based in reality. Nothing happened for me to think this way. The feelings just came out of nowhere, and I feel like I have evidence that they’re based in reality but if you were to ask me to share examples of my friends hating me or whatever, I don’t have any. I’ve never felt like this even during other depressive episodes so it’s very weird and disorienting to me. I literally feel like completely, totally isolated, like no one sees me or cares about me. Is this a depressive episode thing? I shared these feelings with one of these friends and she assured me no one has talked bad about me and that no one thinks I’m annoying and she asked what she can do to help but honestly I have no idea what would help. It’s almost mania-level paranoia but like, mixed with a suddenly horrible self esteem. Idk. I feel so lost and alone. What do you tell people when they ask how they can help?",5.268299397763119,6.481354839116722,5.551942930886148,80.92207556638947,68.43217665615143,9.549125322626901,31.12833381129911,9.800150414767053,2.9241053627760247,1312,53,253,30,22,417,152,317,0.207,0.621,0.172,-0.9113,0,3,0,0,0,0,31.0,1,2,7,2,18,33,4,2,6,0,20,2,1,2,8,60,53,23,1,6,12,0,9,6,3,2,1,0,0,1,25,15,0,0,18,0,0,2,11,16,0,6,6,10,40,17,26,44,6,23,0,6,1,0,30,9,0,6,17,169,65,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264897438146962,0.08548353460177457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05612805233535307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0577118532519474,0.08456900371943657,0.0,0.0,0.23148311575887096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783004715545066,0.0,0.09115573262355878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09440044420400552,0.2524561958700429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653856979224903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3554453785508844,0.0,0.0856604697423341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894914877170974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902994062719028,0.07465952433057044,0.0,0.0,0.07417901555070244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29213263291966274,0.11792902889392486,0.15849710219802418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913038557635008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298727716769582,0.0,0.0,0.16297657971196494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16596861727804788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09317432951867753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072045358728027,0.06727874540908901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419407219130171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009898503050756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06588031874828335,0.0,0.06067425887348074,0.0,0.1273153859717255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086882509496092,0.07919656504673478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3355756144543131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444165330209127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889889441760515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05287537410751453,0.0,0.0,0.0886139473076961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06577137557540044,0.0,0.08610418679523768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259669850295888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08578764064748272,0.0,0.06634018745935352,0.07214105568079263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10966795179764427,0.21154574136429274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07128554636938947,0.0,0.20430523267728554,0.0,0.06551410121140809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726396297125093,0.0,0.0,0.05315118064976351
bipolarreddit,GeminEyeGlasses,2019/03/19,"Insomnia with just a touch of dissociation Since my discharge from the military almost six years ago, insomnia has been a frequent visitor. Spent many nights with a rifle beside me, never reaching rem because a soldier must be alert even during rest. In the civilian world, my anxiety is now too advanced to safely handle a firearm, so my boyfriend keeps my pistol on his bedside table. With medication and years of therapy, the insomnia post discharge went from every night like a plague to a few episodes sprinkled throughout the year. Last night was the start of the first episode I’ve had in four months, being the longest gap I’ve had this far. After three or four attempts at laying down and getting comfy had failed, I resorted to some usual sleep enabling activities. Masturbation, chamomile tea, tai chi, and 420. Nothing has worked, so I’m sat on my couch bouncing between social media platforms. Stopped to observe my surroundings and began to dissociate. My eyes went out of focus and I assumed the physical position my body just goes into during a catatonic state. Not moving or blinking and could barely make out shapes in front of me. While regaining ocular focus, for several minutes my living room looks cartoonish. I began to feel like I was on a stage set. Then my dissociative fantasy took that and ran with it, suddenly I believed I was on a set and this wasn’t my house or my life. That I was on break from filming this weird, fucked up show, the world I played a part in was only so twisted because the script was written that way. That I could leave the studio and go back to my cute neighborhood with an eclectic group of neighbors that never knew racism or war or sexism. As I began to phase back in I realized I’d been crying, longing for it not to have all been a fantasy. Thirty seven minutes had passed and now I feel that I was just dropped here on this couch from the ceiling. I hate when it happens this way, especially when I’m alone. Discerning reality from my delusions is a really uncomfortable thing to do. Most uncomfortable because I don’t know if I’m even the right “me” to be coming back to reality. ",6.74751879699248,7.5594542982456145,6.900064160401001,74.01905864661656,64.91478696741854,9.792521303258148,34.756992481203014,9.791249743138472,3.4708804210526303,1711,75,294,34,25,550,226,399,0.09,0.857,0.053,-0.914,0,1,0,3,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,6,17,10,3,0,27,0,28,10,3,1,4,50,55,24,1,4,11,0,3,2,1,1,5,0,5,0,15,19,1,3,7,5,1,10,6,5,0,6,26,5,33,5,50,23,6,75,0,1,2,1,4,25,1,10,33,204,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313721978497588,0.0,0.11650767867478527,0.12050346971518397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900740128122599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683978131972787,0.0,0.21277756790905772,0.0,0.0,0.13108656242863678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292385768401255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10022518859903393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857919518754698,0.0,0.12780496818225978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536961031106473,0.0,0.09802985981267688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11766007185843233,0.08312043499406914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09896721692227932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756366359873357,0.0607880521681626,0.0,0.06612436381023656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028878857752402,0.0,0.0,0.11487149793872314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425223291582428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341719080667572,0.0,0.0,0.06394289544957375,0.09484074678998393,0.0,0.12319780850962342,0.0,0.0,0.08218141794371298,0.1136854272257704,0.0,0.10273914670839013,0.10296605367946693,0.09770466329257002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766450207334191,0.11796059804898792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11721034451780166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286942838867622,0.12366159471795572,0.0,0.0,0.17947252449482004,0.0,0.0,0.3275596683625728,0.0,0.1116409250285924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848938785305854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12599566894763828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11143110001246506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453676397596723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09936223049983453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13144233761015758,0.0,0.09624588961244504,0.0,0.11643398700103427,0.11860413238385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08235310085723065,0.0,0.0,0.09727377674345576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330563197754033,0.0,0.07729774376865403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12926908713138693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12814304363825998,0.0,0.0,0.18470636592236853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21571515799703891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470415692972337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22477667954158587
bipolarreddit,horrormovielesbian,2019/03/19,"Going to see a new Dr. tmrw and hopefully hop back on the med wagon! This is very long and in no way asking for a DX. The whole reason i’m booking an appt with a qualified professional tmrw is so I am able to get Dxd. This is more of a vent post/ Can anyone tell me about their experiences with mania and the journey to a DX I guess. Anyways loooong post under this paragraph. I’m on mobile so i apologize for any mistakes.

I suspect i have bipolar. My friends suspect i have bipolar. When I first went to a therapist for devoloping issues after I made a very stressful move at 18 and was really struggling, she was the first to suspect Bipolar and pushed me to to see a psych. She suspected bipolar due to very impulsive behaviors (sexual and dangerous) and hallucinations that happened while I smoked. Unfortunately I didn’t see a psych for a long time.

Who really knows but i would like for this at least to be considered bc i had a hell of a time last summer and i’m probably gearing up for another hell summer if i don’t get something straight. I in no way am qualified to diagnose myself of course, and this is mostly so I can get my facts straight to tell the doctor.

Last summer starting around march, my mood really picked up and i was having delusions, paranoia, psychosis all that good stuff. Maybe it was the weed maybe it was something else. I at one point believed the owner of someone i was dogsitting for was secretly filming me from a camera in her bed and her tv. I thought every police man was out to get me. I felt watched all the time. For a straight month I only ate stale kid sized bags of smart popcorn from my trunk and this was before i got kicked out of my house. I never slept more than 2 hours. I got kicked out of my house for smoking weed constanly even though i promised I wouldn’t do it again. I drove like a manic, In talking going 100 down I95N (any baltimorians here?? y’all hit essex and the highway gets all twisty the adrenaline rush was insane) At the time was in the middle of a ED relapse and just didn’t give a fuck I mean i was planning to buy a dog a car an apartment with absolutely no money. Shit me and the friend i was living with had elaborate plans to start a dog grooming business. I quit my job suddenly one night for no real reason and once spent an entire 7 hours filling out loans. In september I bought a car with a loan that hand a ridiculous interest rate and smashed it into a exit sign a week later bc my phone died and i was agitated and “got bored” I have no idea what this was but thank god im alive bc i totally smashed my car to bits. I was wearing my seatbelt and I joke i’m a walking seatbelt ad.

At the time I had been on Lexapro for about two weeks after seeing a psych and expressing the issues that were going on which she said sounded like anxiety and depression. The doctors in the hospital told me it was anxiety and depression. Maybe it is. I would just like some answers. I was in the hospital for six weeks, where they tried out Lexapro again and after I had adverse reactions (extreme irrabilty, impulsiveness) they switched me to Prozac and Risperdol and Dx’d me with BPD and let me go. My aunt had BPD but i also have a family history of undiagnosed disorders that caused extreme psychosis, my grandfather used to hear voices and suffered mood swings, but he was black and this was the 60s black people didn’t go to the doctor for shit like that they either drank it away or went to church. When i got out i spent 1500 dollars i didn’t have on random shit including three tattoos and completly fucked up my credit. I was medicated with a low dose of Prozac (20 mg) and Risperdol (.1mg) at the time. Three weeks later i was so depressed i did nothing but sleep and not eat. I lost ten pounds. They admitted me to the hospital for my ED about a month after I got out of my first hospitalization for the car crash. The psych there said a BPD dx didn’t make sense coming from someone who had only known me for abt four weeks and pulled it off my record. She put me on prozac and seroquel but didn’t give me a bipolar dx just left it as historical. I was doing okay and moved in with my Aunt in Texas and had about two weeks where i went off the seroquel bc i couldn’t get it refilled. I stopped sleeping again and was just generally euphoric. Nothing too crazy I was just very happy and excited and never sleeping and playing sims like a maniac. I stopped taking my seroquel after I got it refilled bc I didn’t like the feeling of forced sleep. Stopped taking my prozac too cause i just don’t give a fuck lol. Now i’ve been off my meds for about a month and a half and I’ve been okay, very impulsive and hyper sexual, making questionable decisions (quitting a new job I had for about a week, becoming a Cam girl, hopping on tinder) but still sleeping. I wanna go back on my meds but I know that after being off seroquel this long I have to wean up to the dose I was on (300mgs) cause there’s no way I can just start at that high again. Anyways anyone else just experience wild ass shit before they got a DX?? Even if i’m not bipolar I really don’t want a repeat of last summer lol.

TLDR: I’m trying to go back on my meds and get a DX from a doctor. Had a wild ass summer/fall last year and just generally did not have a good time. Anyone else have trouble with multiple DXs before they settled on one?",3.4522857611010984,5.01770044846797,4.504175651319024,85.33758413894806,73.29897864438254,7.55662898028292,26.691015347643237,8.201025600215134,1.6636987689114648,4241,151,857,67,85,1383,422,1077,0.16699999999999998,0.7340000000000001,0.099,-0.9981,2,0,3,0,1,0,87.0,0,1,7,8,45,49,12,2,75,4,79,45,14,10,7,141,155,66,1,10,24,2,3,7,2,3,25,5,1,3,33,64,3,3,19,5,9,25,23,24,0,14,72,15,116,23,130,75,12,160,3,6,7,5,42,60,11,9,77,563,149,15,0.04409573689928365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035263344867006184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0599732263975241,0.046238224917026456,0.06746623606522505,0.0,0.0,0.09249829355078999,0.09036258689283314,0.0,0.039254554679479615,0.04122356151390028,0.0,0.0414293963597728,0.1017206994244488,0.0,0.0,0.04870027697915909,0.11256667289041404,0.04968079529614738,0.0,0.0,0.04814112399828998,0.0,0.16661111094059627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13589540557597024,0.0,0.03798457283535122,0.04623354118239637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139387807317103,0.04475624474480318,0.04576441308243508,0.0,0.050537534762064414,0.18053542085110336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04512094736075237,0.11050898981393384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058249636690354975,0.0,0.03715256017118421,0.0,0.0,0.08626818399203857,0.041569536328560135,0.0,0.022296129504925474,0.0,0.04233882255828067,0.0,0.0,0.11252343384063908,0.0,0.0,0.06813651388836348,0.122297394642449,0.16126741781816625,0.1269019466426278,0.17542436426562955,0.07397082400610452,0.24687172314408976,0.0,0.04857642559189677,0.0,0.03899371451162905,0.046940731886183286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049699100266033774,0.0,0.0,0.04658956705804621,0.0,0.04379701634392134,0.08685083687202053,0.10176111994961748,0.0,0.049778719607748614,0.047630962717669145,0.09204898578147888,0.08751642957743114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04846772759340049,0.14377564381008195,0.0,0.0,0.04791014716345653,0.045090878557097085,0.0,0.15080064781099572,0.0,0.03893734355341783,0.11707001863184605,0.0,0.0,0.04813570578876361,0.0,0.0,0.041724452444416034,0.0588684935785609,0.0,0.13290028375561544,0.04803318459155625,0.19592169209121155,0.04442181581922172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10559038948541652,0.0937335796950578,0.0,0.0,0.06801870142535764,0.08517587495051372,0.0,0.04138086195283903,0.0,0.08462209764692684,0.0,0.0,0.04696052066856904,0.08964123758878592,0.06707358988382177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030570431794897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04168472437157497,0.0,0.08446305352400374,0.0,0.04754266248238772,0.0,0.0,0.04432839490803552,0.04939731711067166,0.09380248808786118,0.0,0.050190602376763434,0.11299543277422383,0.09067552333414668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389028722672685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14055437285770786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810545610173936,0.0,0.0,0.22063791156556406,0.0,0.07472434955737636,0.06789410517571375,0.0,0.0,0.09363356861047567,0.0,0.03521491244855336,0.11059803157258724,0.05051151763418607,0.04609843841806726,0.05047906893705769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630901273218719,0.03544248300281744,0.07708323529650501,0.04059743008776735,0.0,0.0511985492186929,0.0,0.0,0.04332383761726127,0.03500708955642248,0.17998805156146488,0.0,0.0,0.042135366288555805,0.0,0.0598762216688471,0.0,0.08615025517885762,0.0,0.0,0.03808455873133678,0.0,0.18191800510532552,0.02600880810434562,0.1050034303891378,0.24759658228730705,0.0,0.0,0.12263156964575872,0.0,0.04923131549850058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264869264950483,0.0,0.0,0.028396208827614913
bipolarreddit,sad-horse,2019/03/19,"[Everything Warning] I legitimately want to kill myself just to spite my father. I lived on my own for many years, and about 2-3 years ago, I was guilted into moving back home by my mother.

Now my father wants me to GTFO because apparently I left the kitchen light on, so according to him, that means I am wasting his money on purpose.

I'm nearly 30 years old.  But I'm constantly treated like I'm 8 years old.  And I'm so sick of this.

Ever since I moved back home, I haven't been able to do anything because of the way my parents treat me.  I'm just constantly anxious as all hell.  And every time I hear my parents awake and walking about, I just get frozen in place because of how they treated me when I was younger (constant ABBAB--Always Be Berating And Belittling--I can't seem to focus on finding a job because of this)...and if I try to shift my schedule over so I can avoid them, I'm given constant shit about not having a ""normal schedule"".

I legitimately want to just slit my wrists and ankles in front of them just to spite them for bringing me into this world.",4.094713178294576,5.052711990697674,5.257674418604651,82.89689922480623,70.95348837209303,7.407751937984497,29.21705426356589,7.554174236665415,1.7372077519379845,838,32,166,9,15,278,124,215,0.146,0.8170000000000001,0.037000000000000005,-0.9784,4,1,0,0,0,1,31.0,0,0,4,0,17,11,5,2,4,0,10,4,2,1,2,27,25,14,1,5,8,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,3,8,1,1,3,0,1,5,3,7,0,0,4,2,32,4,31,20,2,38,1,0,0,0,12,13,2,2,20,105,35,1,0.11436354905890644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137638593902376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515963428991156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12919825814653074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941114564695828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17587701997141306,0.0,0.2788598320888963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4943454725501873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344837756052867,0.09635622254155422,0.0,0.10278258368993233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452621196945916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597502342018614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288960314789614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22943192867982384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134881758558555,0.0,0.1265263226642119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12425633067573025,0.0,0.0,0.05587225334418682,0.0,0.10098510905636174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594668867692565,0.0,0.12457543174839635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431007075447424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11205199639712136,0.0,0.0,0.2400106134353573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25397437443271303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948556772593195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041122798687138,0.0,0.0,0.11739253966060742,0.09460270958183448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06668630514354769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07764534279047729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20236375287698175,0.09077646205792067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945855041507785
bipolarreddit,euthymicfornow,2019/03/19,"[tw suicide] Not quite suicidal but not sure it gets better Looking for a quick reality check.

After a year of depression, I'm finally getting to a place of relative stability. One thing I still can't do, though, is complete step 1 of a ""safety plan,"" which is to list all the reasons my life is worth living. I'm not planning to kill myself, but I feel like it would be no great loss (to me) if I did, because I'm not that interested in life anyway. Basically, I wouldn't blame myself for trying, and I can't imagine how I ever would.

I can't remember a time when I really wanted to live (and wasn't manic), and I can't imagine being able to fill in the ""reasons my life is worth living"" blanks. Is this something that just takes a while to come back when you're in recovery?",6.420506329113923,5.141296715189874,7.646677215189875,75.41659810126583,66.0253164556962,10.684810126582278,33.041139240506325,9.827888789773867,2.9525797468354424,603,21,123,11,8,208,97,158,0.098,0.7140000000000001,0.18899999999999997,0.9440000000000001,0,0,1,0,0,2,26.0,0,0,0,5,10,8,1,0,8,0,17,3,0,3,3,26,27,11,3,5,8,0,1,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,6,0,3,3,11,3,0,1,2,2,14,5,16,20,1,18,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,1,12,86,21,0,0.14880978525187866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11442553937883453,0.0,0.09071306388705476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13161016215635785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12818645347561447,0.1560242286119514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816964998432873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13460697028131155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524269865711067,0.10630974031754313,0.0,0.16301384597859453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554939417934407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16406331358488768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646359793772504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3153262564547571,0.07270094440147573,0.0,0.394205300097175,0.0,0.1249627409094676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10083736171418553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15547455303994007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582775239739025,0.0,0.0,0.09533135892467932,0.3060024869473331,0.0,0.0,0.16857247795642866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11456104287521908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11883968672758627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255475045201324,0.0,0.1402514615084258,0.0,0.11188643890313538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09886260902946352,0.0,0.14620485846142295,0.0,0.08677218247696337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103207605517724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777186687014793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21142040376323126,0.0,0.0,0.09582862278175293
bipolarreddit,WanderingWombats,2019/03/19,"Possible Misdiagnosis? PMDD instead of Bipolar? I need possible opinions Between the ages of 12-13 I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder after a short stay in a mental hospital. This mental hospital stay was right after the start of my first period. Over the years that I was medicated I took Lamictal, Prozac, Buproprian, and Lithium. They didn't do much except harm my memory and turn my into a zombie. However, I never had many of the Bipolar symptoms to begin with. Just mood swings and a lot of PTSD related trauma behaviors. At the age of 18 I took myself off of them and almost three years later I have still not had a manic episode. However, in the past few months I have noticed a pattern where my depression, negative thoughts, and unstoppable crying (among other things) come about a week before my period and disappear almost as soon as my period arrives. I am not sure if this is important but, my mom who was given a Bipolar diagnosis that was later retracted also experienced similar pre-period symptoms. I would like to be treated for my possible PMDD however my psychiatrist is worried that potentially treating my PMDD with Prozac could reactivate any latent Bipolar Disorder. I was just wondering how often Bipolar and PMDD are misdiagnosed as one or the other and if you guys ever were misdiagnosed? How did treatment go for you? What do you use to treat your PMDD? What is your opinion on this matter as well? I don't have a lot of friends who understand this kind of thing and I want an outside opinion before I start something potentially damaging.",6.98991660489251,8.368539285211272,7.897924388435879,65.06130837657524,64.59859154929578,11.612750185322465,36.42624166048925,11.418023490513045,4.901629577464788,1263,61,194,40,19,425,161,284,0.10099999999999999,0.8370000000000001,0.062,-0.8483,3,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,5,2,1,13,13,0,0,17,0,25,12,0,3,3,45,40,20,0,6,9,1,0,1,1,1,12,0,0,1,15,14,0,0,3,0,0,5,6,4,1,3,15,1,32,8,34,22,4,40,0,2,0,0,12,11,0,12,23,159,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22282346105572656,0.0,0.0,0.08897531014289008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566123462074316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893496806188097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09584142291143648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883278386472296,0.0,0.1222148860676398,0.0,0.0,0.09582885941138604,0.112927482404707,0.0,0.0,0.25502928586442536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006418635960823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946384738607264,0.0,0.0,0.08595990366394267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06323213959756674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101657940747777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11586111727356978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05435646099506277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18918009521252305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280110042724326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112083662356252,0.2242496584152364,0.0,0.0,0.13030743398646752,0.08880739748319393,0.0,0.08178957125819633,0.0824985555518307,0.08581127340107089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667128434055247,0.0,0.0,0.07539327259070516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621112876154544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3762898788921955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005805071888152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950162098757085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565408482471043,0.0,0.0,0.15750209059525985,0.23717865428473225,0.08885310706008377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486209167908066,0.23128537465750865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14783361057607095,0.0,0.0,0.0883287351846455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472299313638609,0.0,0.121019921539667,0.0,0.11582653193518473,0.0,0.09609370403050732,0.0,0.0,0.06562456784115989,0.0,0.08924679146258631,0.0,0.10003692067773064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065771165408674,0.0,0.1129908556169937,0.0,0.0790365587773797,0.0,0.0,0.14329675740336606
bipolarreddit,still_treading_water,2019/03/19,"Question about Mania for Bipolar Depression (xpost in r/bipolar) What was your shortest manic episode? Average length?

I have undetermined depression -- I'm on a mood stabilizer and Bipolar Depression has been thrown around a few times, but I have very infrequent/very short mania. Just wanted to get the feel for if this sounds like the right diagnosis.",6.021000000000001,9.26775776666667,5.616666666666671,72.60500000000002,71.33333333333334,9.333333333333334,33.33333333333333,9.725611199111238,4.059833333333334,286,14,43,8,6,88,48,60,0.122,0.8240000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.4871,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,4,0,5,2,0,0,0,9,9,3,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,3,1,7,7,1,6,0,3,0,0,2,5,0,3,2,26,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24111249724431785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.699843984462687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13694908801565245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14150710899946056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13232284608810813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034121921130759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313030518377705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15793387886712773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4469565874614687,0.15975340246733774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DopeyDopeSkat,2019/10/30,"My therapist thinks she's not a good fit for me So I kind of got fired as a client.  Though she did say she would still see me.  Weird.  I would hate having to start over again with another therapist.  I've been with this one for 6 years.  This really blows and I'm not sure if I should look for a new one, or just go e therapy a break for a while.",0.3596240601503737,1.8987973684210533,2.1521804511278217,98.97026315789472,81.89473684210526,6.974436090225563,16.1203007518797,7.957251820313856,-0.11586992481203008,264,4,70,5,7,87,56,76,0.214,0.7859999999999999,0.0,-0.9257,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,1,0,5,0,6,0,0,0,1,13,14,7,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,2,3,4,9,3,10,8,0,10,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,2,6,45,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22099469231842145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11977676007738992,0.1767710538315843,0.16855979656364609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20807664611824736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194686014785546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17698087874570448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035482148311203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28562569541435073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13501486564491347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16760060662181162,0.0,0.0,0.16794421952528205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491732704047368,0.0,0.16830898581321824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19863382254966172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24101638143929904,0.4894049307488955,0.0,0.1350431100022915,0.20706543517751516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994282021222331,0.0,0.0,0.13571912512060091
bipolarreddit,joygeorge,2019/10/30,"Whats real? Does anyone feeling depressed- for over longer than two weeks - wonder if is really who they are? "" A depressed person"" or  like they will never come out of a low?",1.1381818181818204,3.7702106969696985,2.3597575757575764,89.89963636363636,93.54545454545456,3.852121212121212,15.690909090909093,5.6839178017228535,-0.3842072727272732,135,3,24,1,5,43,31,33,0.242,0.654,0.105,-0.7383,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,1,8,6,2,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,0,1,2,1,5,5,0,6,0,3,0,0,4,3,0,3,3,18,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20804911452285724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25630710926308664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5125470218113848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26038204798773723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15044677548260818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453645716455009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294836487135292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598032340486907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3386692872162265,0.1906137845740036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906564589113944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386711970242614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3226728938794561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jade130301,2019/10/30,Lamictal induced mania/Hypomania Hi I’m just wondering I have been taking 200mg per day of Lamictal(lamotrigine) and I have started to feel really over excited very talkative and have been very sexually promiscuous and have not been sleeping much has anyone ever had this happen to them ?,5.156266666666667,8.636813159999999,7.0120000000000005,59.63266666666666,77.4,10.533333333333337,30.333333333333336,10.125756701596842,4.696533333333334,238,11,33,9,6,82,39,50,0.033,0.91,0.057,0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,9,1,1,1,1,9,15,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,3,1,4,11,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,24,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22475649046232293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073005187793476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29075851359112603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625283978564067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842460142979139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23629345996345774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059210170293108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3216695190545318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275150325751485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416809070027529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5304390056484111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3485851279011352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,UmUhOatmeal,2019/10/30,"If you could picture a scene to portray how you feel, how would it look? If you could picture a scene to portray how you are feeling when you’re manic, depressed, and anything in between how would it look? I’m going my photography final on portraying the different aspects of bipolar and would appreciate any input you’re willing to provide!",7.079285714285714,8.079985777777777,7.222341269841268,71.33446428571429,64.23809523809524,8.839682539682537,41.14682539682539,8.841846274778883,4.04903492063492,276,16,43,4,4,89,41,63,0.052000000000000005,0.871,0.077,-0.1906,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,4,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,0,7,1,0,4,0,15,13,9,0,7,2,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,7,7,0,5,0,1,2,0,4,2,0,2,2,33,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17311493755454035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20948773473271276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40650359219280857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21925900490628256,0.0,0.0,0.2659693288696223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574344119070081,0.0,0.0,0.2788667493402911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14467683421691996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4275459319038722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5425133097228377,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Anonthingmex,2019/10/30,"I don't feel like being bipolar Hi everyone. I'm a 21yo man from Mexico. Yes, I've been through though stuff and have had some emotional imbalances, but sometimes I don't feel I'm bipolar, just too emotional. I've been diagnosed with depression, ADHD, Borderline and  Anxiety before until finally being told I was bipolar on Feb 2019, almost 9 months ago. My therapist says I'm a perfect  textbook example of bp type I because I match with all symptoms and background, yet I don't feel like being bp. 

Since I was diagnosed I have found myself using it as an excuse for being irresponsible or miserable or whatever and I've been trying so hard to stop being this way and moving forward. My treatment has been with valproic acid and Seroquel at different doses but I've been almost 2 months without meds because they make me feel awful, apathetic, almost depressed, dizzy, sleepy, tired and unmotivated and I've been fighting depression for so long just to accept feeling like this everyday.

Sometimes I feel like I really am, but sometimes I feel like it's just an excuse to be irresponsible and impulsive. I hate my meds, I don't think they work. What do you think I should do?",6.1349242424242405,7.438514159090911,7.025454545454544,70.81651515151519,66.5,10.230303030303027,34.21212121212121,10.355215969177356,3.90449393939394,945,43,156,24,15,315,123,220,0.282,0.645,0.073,-0.995,1,0,0,0,2,0,24.0,0,1,2,2,8,13,2,1,4,2,26,8,0,2,2,42,43,19,0,1,9,0,8,5,0,1,8,1,0,1,6,12,0,1,11,0,0,2,5,6,0,0,11,10,22,7,16,25,2,14,0,4,0,0,10,3,0,6,15,98,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12000377345841685,0.0,0.08851356518309783,0.0,0.2999647469326372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638719010953593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217387939800625,0.0,0.08496745773461152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580094522002841,0.2026971697430973,0.0,0.10432502095419023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246421303916276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954137187053732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3534203618791212,0.35667463483278466,0.0,0.10938396390289803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10948354363075233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894485793417728,0.09858405958273077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24391539965144565,0.0,0.0,0.08836666843458463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666525816869361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22182810859471375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15940325365248165,0.10612782318093936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639683203646432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940702860001321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259934523712434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962711942890105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08348148996393844,0.0,0.0,0.11430767329956082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378538918905092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11593690534980287,0.0,0.12796340436146306,0.09810496074347322,0.0,0.0,0.11476621196109513,0.0,0.0954137187053732,0.0,0.06779356007406577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624083979535711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925857897802413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962546259383708,0.0,0.07269409560689538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,no-onelikesme,2019/10/30,"The worst part of being bi polar (for me at least) Being 14 and bi polar is really hard. Some days I’m super motivated and really enjoying life and that lasts for maybe a week and then I’ll just start not giving a fuck bout life for a week so it’s really hard to be consistent with my goals and my friendships. Relationships are impossible I love someone a lot and then I’ll become depressed again and stop caring bout them, it really sucks. I’m not trying to brag but I actually have a great life I’m good looking I have a lot of friends girls like me I’m good at basketball and everyone says I have a lot of potential to be really successful but i know that won’t happen because of my mood swings, idk what to do I feel like I should just give up basketball and trying to be successful cuz I know I’m gonna fuck it up. Also my emotions are way more intense then others I feel super happy when I’m happy and extremely sad when I’m depressed, I’m on meds and the only thing it’s down for me is make it easier to act like I’m okay but besides that I’m still really struggling",0.6756929854286682,2.9569198986784144,3.3057488986784165,86.91247627922739,85.69603524229075,7.016536767197559,19.303456455438834,8.139509932561175,1.0679564215520163,855,24,180,20,26,298,115,227,0.10099999999999999,0.598,0.301,0.9957,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,6,8,26,3,1,9,1,15,8,0,3,0,32,41,22,0,1,7,0,4,3,1,3,3,1,0,1,11,12,0,1,5,0,0,1,3,8,0,0,0,6,17,17,21,33,8,21,0,3,1,5,8,6,3,4,16,109,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.11032402479994967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040893895469332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891643733921632,0.12485884096051875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526570007325646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291023211530673,0.0,0.19474583424791134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12717010573817675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802757858004353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114326614162049,0.08076552861519927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734494626008027,0.20903249967253068,0.0,0.2169026674490684,0.0,0.18964802508719128,0.0,0.12464201500695465,0.0,0.0,0.09997294267445113,0.2406953611231191,0.20254767479621255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426262573192108,0.09215378924929672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23955934529376074,0.16569686431000866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949365673983483,0.0,0.0,0.2883424343007833,0.10203530582918098,0.0,0.07546416913045831,0.0,0.1135775565859128,0.0,0.125577085547177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598237229265722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242605331056973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4345502627036213,0.0,0.0,0.12137727859055038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899047761505245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095789965232183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800199340187481,0.0,0.0902847668553124,0.0945178884066554,0.0,0.11818819004731485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510780154943872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535119736971245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973670122982969,0.1813695891205156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,conorgahr,2019/10/30,"looking for medication advice in all honesty ive never really posted on reddit but im mildly freaking out over my meds and scrolling through this reddit is a weirdly comforting thing for me. i have been diagnosed for about a year now and have been on limictal for roughly the same time. turns out it was making my brain foggy and screwing up my memory so right now im in the process of coming of of it (and that takes a hot minute) to go on abilify. i have no problem with the wait gain, (my aderal already makes me a skinny boi) but my meds doctor said that its a ""dopamine suppresent."" i really dont want this to make my an emotionless lump or make my brain foggy and dumb again without creativity. im considering refusing my pills and going unmedicated. is there anything i can take that wont make me a walking zombie? help",4.421666666666667,5.853608018518517,5.8453703703703725,77.1991666666667,70.66666666666666,8.85679012345679,29.549382716049386,9.2995712137729,2.673434567901234,657,26,122,14,12,222,104,162,0.159,0.762,0.079,-0.9174,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,6,6,2,0,10,0,12,9,3,5,2,26,27,10,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,9,10,1,2,0,0,0,4,5,5,0,0,4,4,16,1,22,22,2,21,0,0,1,1,3,10,2,1,6,86,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336720088854884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15060966604259282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231185280172012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3047148315423412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756589754711272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385248718491316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13969361247925066,0.0,0.0,0.15995417254842484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551300683939489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09148002685806164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4422671994134637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114609277319336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4555090901515176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30319821785932377,0.13748978223598451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526220365467626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13071062744554232,0.0,0.0,0.13059344151466218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17486585317688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11655363261754688,0.12982424412202864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20523275675927266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09067160413022307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795828984922086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14845163254764607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049975662941372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315623670512842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788899093915331
bipolarreddit,resilientart,2019/10/30,"Bad day... I disassociated in my therapists office during a panic attack... I mean it can’t become anymore convenient than that... but basically I had a panic attack, triggered by a phone call. I wrote down how I was feeling on paper and it barely made sense. I could not form a sentence and stuttered A LOT. My therapist said it was a trauma response, but I felt like a scared balloon drifting away from my body. Later I couldn’t recall anything from the entire session. Does this happen to anyone else that struggles with bipolar? 

It’s a new diagnosis for me...  🤔",3.072427101200688,5.7021574433962305,4.866295025728988,77.33710977701544,78.33962264150944,6.118696397941681,26.61749571183533,7.348242739294969,1.7819547169811325,443,18,73,6,11,150,78,106,0.256,0.698,0.047,-0.9701,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,1,10,2,4,9,0,6,2,1,3,0,16,13,5,0,2,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,7,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,9,0,0,7,3,12,1,11,4,2,8,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,4,53,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657400437105563,0.11685553652190757,0.17123616286615256,0.13752710548636332,0.0,0.0,0.3802506349337521,0.15701655090777614,0.0,0.13953982762324935,0.0,0.1845730372973957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18563478497871405,0.0,0.0,0.17065017192071932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343325917246665,0.0,0.0,0.1077798166958443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14624952376299233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13960892465665348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450186729864534,0.0,0.16046325729361985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477853673398796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08164733144800791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14208108525116767,0.0,0.15813480733451038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820447710168873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16140739764998907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3921631437441455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15897122227676552,0.0,0.16731820270253375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17471212324173818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38808287429487737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Royal_Vengeance,2019/10/30,"10 months of depression. This is my story. So I was a happy person, like , a very happy person . Super social and outgoing, loved to be the center of attention.

 In 2016 my dad died at 44 from lung cancer. I started doing panic attacks and had anxiety about death, as he died at home in front of me. I saw that man die. 

Dr prescribed Effexor. After about a month I couldn't stand the company of people. Gave up my job as an automotive advisor and started working night shifts in a shop just to be alone . Stopped social interactions altogether. Then I realised that wasn't normal after a year and a half of medication, talked to my doctor about stopping Effexor , he said go for it since I haven't had a panic attack  in a year.

That week was awesome, never felt better in years. It's like a heavy blanket was lifted from my back. I actually accepted my father's passing and one of my friend's suicide. My girlfriend was scared as hell . She's didn't understand how good I felt , how powerfull and inspired I felt . She called the police on me . They took my to the Psych ward and I had a full blown psychosis. Tought I was god and so on. Also extreme paranoia and aggresive .    

After a lenghty stay in the ward ( 4 months ) I was diagnosed and had to follow a court order for medication ( I didn't want to be medicated after my experience with Effexor ) . 

And that's where the depression settled in for good . Since January 6th of 2019 , I'm depressed , same exact reaction to Abilify than Effexor , can't stand the company of people , emotionally numb and lack of creativity and motivation. 

After 8 months of 400MG of abilify maintena , we reduced it to 300MG , wich helped somewhat with motivation but still numb to feelings and no creativity . 

Now we reduced the dosage to every 5 weeks instead of four , effectively reducing to the equivalent of 200MG , wich might help , and we just added Bupropion ( Wellbutrin XL ) 150mg once a day to try to give me a boost. I am so done with this depression. 

My doc fears the AD will get me into mania, but that's a risk she's willing to take. Hopefully it's gonna work , fingers crossed.",3.7281354129741215,5.849314759305216,5.297593761077632,77.58968734491314,73.863523573201,8.67519319390287,28.884012761432125,9.312151188531436,2.8292952711804324,1660,70,301,41,35,560,221,403,0.16,0.726,0.114,-0.9191,2,1,0,0,0,1,54.0,3,0,1,7,16,27,3,5,26,0,26,12,2,5,2,51,47,27,5,5,4,2,5,2,2,4,9,1,1,3,11,22,0,2,11,1,1,6,8,14,0,3,21,7,36,13,60,18,4,51,1,4,1,1,27,16,1,3,27,199,47,7,0.0,0.0,0.08569436820420022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094942725709254,0.0,0.07022529243093824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06717791767575702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19980353704161244,0.0,0.06752399590663062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766486484538007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966851022473461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056633143035456475,0.0,0.3025382958342229,0.0891299559689581,0.2734130273601389,0.0,0.0,0.08988194945223017,0.0,0.0898648097097301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09877958935467847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398757583602265,0.0,0.0,0.08589951507968263,0.0,0.0988158227828312,0.04440169304604008,0.0,0.2529473202173822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784533105241475,0.0,0.04587949659736658,0.0842397523230232,0.0499070527221744,0.1473094162444714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869605186950804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772053144042308,0.0,0.08808518938713472,0.08721969773298982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714242626111507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08580354174116245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792560920743167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653918694879867,0.0,0.09315739816822027,0.0,0.0,0.2803710579158332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06772802206346608,0.0,0.0,0.08240803992480482,0.08603964915119461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09351966777674996,0.0595054359069384,0.0,0.0,0.20606299114027726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12175915362727507,0.1533526180749818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835317803065863,0.0,0.08791771963046449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452822654283829,0.0,0.0,0.17903182267085094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431123142783555,0.09359866421804593,0.07012884154796573,0.1468338513880456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09605490383511936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602563976115505,0.07058203760132191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756523579308526,0.05962033936673821,0.0,0.0,0.09141808062649086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245622986222976,0.0517953178235441,0.0,0.14087912745497536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12786012846371206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16964914216476135
bipolarreddit,brittsimmons2,2019/10/30,Financial help 😅 I am looking for advice and or tips on how to manage finances. At this point I am living less than paycheck to paycheck because of my spending habits and I make pretty decent money... I have already filed bankruptcy once I have a somewhat “clean slate” now and I don’t want to end up in that hole again... can anyone help?,2.9813636363636387,5.117935924242428,3.8969696969696974,86.71545454545458,76.12121212121212,5.612121212121212,26.15151515151515,6.42735559955562,1.087987878787879,265,10,49,2,6,85,53,66,0.0,0.809,0.191,0.8836,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,2,0,8,9,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,10,9,2,8,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,2,3,35,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29522557960088824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33339401033150445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21124747695455687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18416793350338032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26758630051099525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4050057850977205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667751566829433,0.0,0.2537024853098277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016656783039698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32174511961975977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855985504058889,0.0,0.0,0.30736195992577536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17819664168035834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ParanoiaIncognito,2019/10/30,"Can our illness change over time? We all have our own ""flavor"" of bipolar. We don't usually have all of the diagnostic criteria or triggers. Let's call our list, our toolbox of dysfunction. Now, I know every tool in by box, but can we sometimes completely lose one or find a new one we have never had before. Sorry, messed up analogies. I visualize things strangely.   


tldr; Can we ""level-up"" and get another bonus psychosis?",2.890641025641024,5.736954474358977,4.279743589743589,79.81525641025644,81.1794871794872,7.056410256410258,27.89743589743589,8.167268648758528,2.4571435897435894,331,15,56,7,9,109,60,78,0.165,0.764,0.071,-0.7855,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,9,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,2,0,9,2,0,1,3,15,11,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,2,0,1,0,2,2,0,2,1,1,11,1,7,9,3,8,0,1,0,0,10,3,0,2,5,41,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536334657680913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20582303513606148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469876883332933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558781743025565,0.0,0.2536077737816645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20379529307806726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210749803259412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12637291260977127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293154905359708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473398540598673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27060312536517633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18655364701517524,0.23361031270442684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.327809841405518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392266327908499,0.2707661336343257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16069508184249276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410428381536211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663979034967229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,markstopka,2019/10/30,"My first psychotherapy session is behind me! Was easy as we were just gathering data to establish some baseline, but still, I was scared prior to going not knowing what to expect.",7.7650000000000015,8.809320500000002,7.981249999999997,66.33875,62.75,10.15,34.75,10.125756701596842,3.9002,144,6,21,3,2,47,29,32,0.11800000000000001,0.826,0.055999999999999994,-0.4926,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,7,6,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,0,4,0,5,3,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,20,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4920249561382863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3287435800983865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3178982021252433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5791242786124968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4619468628406369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bajur,2019/10/30,"Time for some of that manic impulsiveness to make its way into my life So I’ve been hypomanic for about 2 weeks now. Started seeing my old friends, the demonic guy, and hearing the random snippets of conversations again. Nothing like having the shot scared out of you by stuff you know isn’t real, but still sounds and moves and looks hella real. 

Anyways I’m now on night whatever and have taken my night meds (Seroquel) and two sleeping pills, and yet here I am at 4:42 am, making a post while not sleeping!

I’ve decided I need to depot all my makeup so I can make a magnetic palette so I can organize what I have as well as see what I have too much of colour wise and if there are any colour families I’m lacking. I’m also hoping that this will help show me I already have very similar shades to the new palettes that are coming out and I don’t neeeeeed them. 

So makeup deporting is underway. And man do I ever have a lot of makeup.... most of which I bought when manic  🤣

Then off to figure out how to store the makeup. Debating DIY magnetic palette, a palette that I will never change and just glue everything the hell down or a Tin case and put magnetic strips on the back of the makeup pans....

This is going to be amazing.",3.588225563909773,5.088084759183675,4.803029001074116,83.59418904403869,72.83673469387755,7.770139634801289,26.364124597207304,8.371475516178862,1.7557346938775518,966,33,190,16,19,319,151,245,0.040999999999999995,0.87,0.08900000000000001,0.9133,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,2,1,0,21,8,1,1,13,0,21,4,2,4,3,40,39,25,0,4,5,0,0,1,1,2,2,2,0,2,11,16,0,0,3,1,2,4,4,2,1,1,3,7,19,6,28,33,6,33,2,0,5,0,9,9,1,7,19,137,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155967190911667,0.11302591359789725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611295710260252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10867824202559367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14951417269381076,0.12174798118366735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12784601212262406,0.0,0.0,0.1270231950494261,0.0,0.1332384899701484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919542318876338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032419707542715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13994432278508395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15929533156163314,0.0,0.0947341773504811,0.0,0.0,0.14037799884846866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077674270718199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099829412798478,0.06904936497606996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186861873185343,0.0,0.0,0.12015835101666818,0.0,0.0,0.283027544349922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569918305096331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15021722300863888,0.10389782288358412,0.10479845023049522,0.10900661720177217,0.13650266472295924,0.0,0.2652675034275714,0.0,0.13561518246760676,0.0,0.14830778654242968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353602987156037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14208117102064502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217413838112797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14150144824885386,0.0,0.2252521203297106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28287505479791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003796364698904,0.0,0.11287067822915865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16179528362099382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08241384134619803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13806420427508695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661655355997992,0.0,0.11218550684292182,0.11337077807922527,0.0,0.12707754920958145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,di-elyse,2019/10/30,"Do you get paranoid that you’re manic? I don’t think I feel manic right now. I’m not irritable or impulsive or overstimulated like I am when I’m manic and I’ve been sleeping normally which is like at least 10 hours a day with naps. However, I just broke up with my long term boyfriend (on great terms and for good reasoning), I have a crazy high sex drive and I’ve generally been in a good/great mood with a really positive attitude. Part of me just thinks I’m doing well but part of me thinks I should be worried that I’m manic. Thoughts?",2.238648648648649,4.15256155855856,3.9408018018018036,86.57931081081081,77.55855855855856,8.043603603603604,23.71261261261261,8.841846274778883,1.6202893693693692,427,14,93,10,10,143,73,111,0.077,0.7859999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.6409,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,5,7,0,0,4,0,10,2,1,1,0,21,20,7,0,2,6,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,6,1,0,1,2,1,1,0,3,1,10,5,10,15,5,14,0,1,0,1,1,6,0,2,9,52,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307313455599643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649218196044793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970369213931736,0.0,0.0,0.320127590225224,0.0,0.4207937086257325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20162822345602047,0.0,0.0,0.1879345640018114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18646520874675346,0.0,0.0,0.16888344585311132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18697830898253529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4133125816530793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12225413224233972,0.1962107166399545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16297250671275848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19097335710625876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3668391213762383,0.0,0.15150210060619687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715840670555223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19380275217890572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,m859ckles,2019/10/30,"Does anyone have tips on how to deal with emotional outbursts? I have been recently diagnosed with bipolar 2 after years of dealing with what I thought was depression. After getting the diagnosis, I've spent a lot of time reflecting on my life,  and now I can definitely see all the missed symptoms and signs. One of the things I've always struggled with was my irritability and how quick to extreme anger I am.  My anger has caused many issues in my life, ruining relationships, causing me to break things, hurting myself etc.  According to my psychiatrist, this is a symptom of my hypomanic episodes. This makes sense to me as when I'm really depressed I can't bring myself to care enough to get angry. 

The thing is,  I get so angry that I feel like I actually can't control myself. When I start having an outburst, it starts with one thing and then quickly builds until I am seething with rage.  Today I had my worst outburst to date and it really scared me. I never want to get like that again. It started when my SO and I were arguing in the car, he called me annoying and that set me off. In the course of 45 minutes, I: 

* Screamed at, berated and insulted him
* Kept making threats of harming myself 
* Stomped on something that he bought me til it broke
* Threw my shoes into the neighbors yard and made him go get them

Those are all the things that I remember doing. I know that I said some really awful things and the erratic way that I was acting at the time made it even worse. I was screeching and crying until I couldn't breathe anymore. The weird thing is, I feel almost euphoric acting this way. I feel adrenaline rushing, and like i'm on a high. It honestly feels like I get taken over by some completely different person, and I can only watch as they destroy my life. Once I manage to calm down (which kinda comes randomly), I hysterically break down because that's not the person I am. When I look back on the way I act, I feel like a child. I'm filled with shame and embarrassment over my actions, and i try my best to mend the damage. I started therapy recently and will be starting medication soon. I won't be able to see my therapist and psychiatrist for a month, so until I can get, does anyone have any tips on how to manage this? Is this even normal for bipolar two or am I looking at some bigger problem here?",4.828516666666669,6.098070060000001,5.653930555555558,79.57356250000002,69.51111111111109,8.736111111111112,29.840277777777786,9.103633062298675,2.5060944444444444,1837,71,347,35,32,601,228,450,0.193,0.737,0.069,-0.9956,1,0,1,0,0,1,50.0,0,0,2,2,19,33,8,4,20,1,32,11,2,10,3,63,74,35,0,4,2,0,5,5,1,2,9,2,2,3,29,26,0,2,9,1,2,11,6,24,0,3,16,12,62,9,55,53,10,68,0,7,5,0,17,20,0,8,36,251,91,2,0.07762331816763426,0.0,0.07574916123334942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772854047980741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06458881898984116,0.0,0.0,0.0527865181709913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698147361449198,0.10855205778970817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059687540269427984,0.0,0.04731845428139875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146088343877295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926208665641046,0.0,0.07914214619486927,0.15948106017046146,0.0,0.0668656153631043,0.08138657225333447,0.0,0.08706115176971707,0.0,0.0,0.0852655700969281,0.0,0.16005246520473607,0.13371370039044214,0.07878603398213774,0.0,0.08109984620408314,0.0,0.0,0.135857377645614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731578512559524,0.0,0.08020563768804992,0.08657051855440152,0.10253893913354653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962434099265188,0.16636234202649078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838848597079617,0.0,0.0441151205447357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201329746000469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309736754210495,0.0,0.0,0.08101857699581673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04265974563978624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164482935648129,0.18961416175728255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13036807465714415,0.0,0.0,0.06599256926999658,0.0,0.1468981210070603,0.10362833526367947,0.07869786116043694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07819732666664006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06195819199175286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05986788829665333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07605437081331108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266630049748229,0.1051991385953059,0.05903603130716582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13555537470604387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742750322283225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14918245583053624,0.0,0.15328732428731884,0.08333839399616398,0.08793208772239111,0.0,0.07383755113842119,0.0,0.07771448298314249,0.0,0.12371146930944472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05975822265765185,0.0,0.0,0.2747109206203877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114874597809163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613606980277319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876902926394778,0.09012665520934847,0.360986384048002,0.0,0.0,0.06162424401632335,0.09052556210747324,0.0,0.07357782936655588,0.0,0.0,0.05270113770739845,0.0,0.07582670274050897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0457842442060961,0.1848413306802339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791047927584167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04998687191950171
bipolarreddit,filosophicaltunafish,2019/10/30,"Re-establishing identity post-diagnosis? So, newbie to being diagnosed and I have just been finding every increase on my dose of medication is separating me more and more from my idea of who I was. Mind you I am MUCH more stable, but it has come with a sense of not knowing who I am anymore. 

Alot of what I considered the traits I loved about myself were traits I had when manic and my philosophy about life came from delusions I had that I no longer hold. 

How have veterans to this illness reconciled this? How do you know who you really are and how have you developed a healthy and stable state of identity when all past versions of yourself were all over the place?",4.582734375000001,6.3717568046875,5.442625000000002,78.83987500000002,70.796875,9.1825,29.20625,9.642632912329526,2.8035974999999995,533,21,100,13,10,174,84,128,0.053,0.8240000000000001,0.12300000000000001,0.8438,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,4,0,0,9,1,0,0,5,0,16,6,0,3,2,24,21,12,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,8,8,0,1,5,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,7,0,18,1,15,13,9,10,0,0,0,1,8,3,0,1,3,83,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25345537942273816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923023959404446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201497206595441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593967509137977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21532756940367684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335850718167237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885058432521477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28090763944986546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805156613483095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306606409786929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574584788983044,0.0,0.0,0.258051433163965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878723282519964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24396914838582756,0.0,0.0,0.2670147936335689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447640746147358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16372379037193174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Stephshiran,2019/10/30,Manic depression I feel like every time I go out and try to have a good time I get this feeling that something is wrong and I want to crawl up into a ball and go home and watch Netflix. This happened to me last weekend when I did pumpkin carving with my friends! It’s a lot of fun. Then it happened to me again during small talk at a beer pong game (also a lot of fun). And now it’s happening to me at work. What’s wrong with me? :(,1.196693548387099,2.6444894623655912,2.9007392473118294,94.97110887096777,79.10752688172043,5.5102150537634405,23.45295698924731,5.985473137389443,0.2763344086021502,332,11,78,2,8,110,60,93,0.13,0.718,0.152,-0.0943,0,0,2,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,4,8,0,0,5,0,3,1,0,0,0,14,12,8,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,7,9,1,0,2,5,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,3,10,5,14,11,2,16,0,1,1,0,3,6,0,2,9,51,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15376840074619014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656128023982822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16200646259438675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19444781484754287,0.1373667948564631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14855713223672606,0.0,0.1004597713246301,0.0,0.21855737206339249,0.16127760075220365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.510104853259409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192875219634084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15673605906012236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939396116069776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3269437403154273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14802861175445658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15454954572152468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2242431700793769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305473273092353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11341331466436455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13998409114780494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4204618812113406,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AllConnectedOneEarth,2019/10/30,"Anyone ever try Improv? Recently sign up for improv classes during a hypomania State. Thinking it can help me be comfortable with just being me, to let people see my heighten state but also my low dark  state. Already sitting on my bed two days later thinking this is a terrible idea but still have moments where I really think it can help me improve myself. Anyone out there try this approach and can provide feedback?",5.788464912280703,7.935855302631585,6.2736842105263175,72.64412280701757,68.34210526315789,7.698245614035088,32.40350877192982,8.344100000000001,2.967471929824561,337,15,49,5,6,109,59,76,0.079,0.7829999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.6072,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,2,0,8,0,0,0,1,12,12,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,1,8,1,6,9,0,16,0,1,1,0,2,5,0,0,6,38,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545353598980796,0.18445604762955292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3225609993456344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487544639195727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086421542694601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3092085942640317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603832934605156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23586206226761766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15990828562867004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14776456266649735,0.0,0.2277456250756756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838034947632039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184202706588916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4433864225682929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132014628130255,0.0,0.2253180410494426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sadieclementine,2019/10/03,"Moving to London from USA, what info do I need to continue my medications? I’m moving very soon but I’m worried it will be hard to get on some of my medications there, especially Latuda since it’s so expensive and I don’t know if the NHS will cover it. What kind of proof will I need to bring that I’ve been on these drugs for quite some time and need to continue them?",2.7023076923076914,3.9350012820512816,4.608205128205127,85.17846153846155,74.64102564102564,8.276923076923078,21.974358974358974,8.841846274778883,1.2260358974358976,292,7,65,6,6,100,52,78,0.065,0.935,0.0,-0.5803,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,7,3,0,0,1,12,15,5,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,2,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,1,6,1,11,10,2,9,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,3,4,41,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25186347360314043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11346921876626202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945534206410517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22616280336212066,0.11935816551983483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4375782986751154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4616625814960928,0.0,0.4831156052001224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310009867449977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17965612508156362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664122656796528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17919882315552305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205600054786746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tommorowcantbeworse,2019/10/03,Latuda I just started latuda last week but the nausea is killing me! Yesterday it go so bad I ended up throwing up. Anyone have any experience with this? Does it get better?,1.4236363636363656,4.126565303030308,3.432484848484851,82.20872727272727,92.93939393939394,5.0642424242424235,21.75151515151515,6.742157984588678,1.0873078787878792,137,5,23,2,5,46,29,33,0.29,0.624,0.086,-0.903,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,5,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,3,5,0,9,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,15,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23234029465319664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388963883767936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852715570533964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30217021739515393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2989886835379409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3026090616217661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342087209891028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17850307843072435,0.0,0.1941730665550487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37799580871563104,0.0,0.0,0.278498235407313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418284761068687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740587822708467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bellyrage47,2019/10/03,"I want hope that I can finish college Can people who have finished a BA give me some hope that I can do it too? I'm bipolar 1 and it sucks, especially because if I do things like my friends do (smoke weed, binge drink, pull all-nighters) it makes me pretty non-functional. I feel lonely and stressed! How do I do it!",1.6672820512820543,3.5401185230769263,2.7950000000000017,94.31916666666667,79.15384615384616,5.564102564102565,24.679487179487186,6.42735559955562,0.5606410256410257,244,9,55,2,6,78,46,65,0.107,0.653,0.239,0.8436,0,2,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,2,7,1,1,1,0,9,2,0,2,0,10,17,4,0,4,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,8,2,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,9,4,0,17,1,3,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,4,3,33,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742966743096818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800967604178074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14457181336470626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22090424634047093,0.0,0.0,0.2742844453725022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5679742819403353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13968807011223214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19085655348433891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683203938959411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982237661004788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29088759593094443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32752508450241996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899552636527453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16864543912293187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheLameLesbian,2019/10/03,"Missing a day of Lamotrigine Does anyone feel really awful just missing one day of Lamotrigine. Maybe its just a coincidence, but I missed my dose yesterday (ran out of pills) and today I woke up very sad/low energy.",5.489666666666667,7.263509300000003,7.309999999999999,66.40166666666667,68.5,11.333333333333336,28.333333333333336,11.20814326018867,3.8315833333333327,172,6,29,6,3,60,32,40,0.2,0.726,0.07400000000000001,-0.4957,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,6,6,2,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,2,1,3,0,5,4,0,7,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27151059594370786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5008468256239808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3398067095086177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963377434351177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3901027128004444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631242686168982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487569455100342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3680659898361148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.320390771005411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sabotourAssociate,2019/10/03,"Got prescribed a new medication Brintellix (vortioxetine), please share if you have experience with it. I went to different p doc today someone highly recommended around the web that gives appointments after months. My main complaints were that I have no energy mental or physical that I get 
anxiety for no reason, my cognition is bad motivation, focus all bad.
Told him I have Cyclothymia, he corrected me that this term is no longer used, from what I know its still in the DSM but whatever.

So he began to promote this new antidepressant Brintellix (Trintellix in US) that is suppose to have great cognition boost along side its anti depressive properties, I am suppose to take 5mg for 10 days and then up to 10, I also take Li and mirtazapine.

I will highly appreciate if you spare some time to share your experience good or bad.",10.328830297219561,9.16986383892618,10.213441994247363,59.749463087248344,58.261744966442954,14.688782358581015,40.74880153403643,13.484332010920856,5.803098945349952,668,29,109,23,7,221,104,149,0.13699999999999998,0.6809999999999999,0.182,0.8653,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,3,0,2,4,8,0,0,3,0,10,1,0,3,2,17,20,10,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,11,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,5,0,16,4,16,14,4,19,0,1,0,0,11,7,0,5,11,73,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586442411430845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204026302884078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011013241171866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3942412814308767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015032858845121,0.0,0.13555945108789205,0.0,0.0,0.16443865666174948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079145026796483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222958165052625,0.15098246723709138,0.0,0.13201094791067733,0.12587885879323787,0.17352261425343207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3325815545639013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649722033856573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15855348626980373,0.15861172087479114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12562689495953264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040157560070089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17276654210222586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16182274496022367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13335571625191012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12569155570151272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23667481722455355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177515447466536,0.0,0.1491869588837114,0.15039252892077593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18932033679039006,0.1359341001384201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14590175671942282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,johndoe060696,2019/10/03,"I feel like I should apologize to people for being bipolar I havent told most people that I'm bipolar, and I've been seeing someone for about a month that has been very busy the last 2 weeks and so we havent been talking or seeing each other much. I called her out on it, cause conversations keep dropping off on her end. She apologized for it, and I apologized for even mentioning it, and now just feel like I need to tell her I'm bipolar rather than just waiting to see how long before she figures out, but I feel like she will cut and run if I do. She told me she loved me earlier this week and it honestly scares me.
Idk why I post this stuff instead of just dealing with it, I guess just ranting.",4.625,4.889419833333331,5.154166666666665,86.6075,69.41666666666666,8.344444444444445,28.5,8.167268648758528,1.6597833333333334,552,18,119,7,9,177,88,144,0.051,0.8059999999999999,0.14300000000000002,0.9052,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,0,0,11,7,1,1,2,0,10,4,0,2,0,31,25,11,0,4,8,0,3,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,11,11,0,2,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,5,6,22,5,16,17,3,15,0,0,3,1,21,5,0,4,10,83,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331237598815631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15974854172006575,0.0,0.0,0.16071281913533114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16128863744145625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13856444627901246,0.0,0.0,0.10333090312846213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373109254150502,0.3352944977473327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17234256597498598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13905611799889553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12752411831979546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292943860650841,0.0,0.0,0.13844951307078351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14119834376160814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12487345761157648,0.0,0.11500558342014458,0.11600249722065516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169194869444952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14983172595595046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15662942840379804,0.0,0.3740008808101215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13255592591067789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909288636692042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12574512000012875,0.13674042915653886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29898112329108817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908407901520194,0.0,0.0,0.2509825925882243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14116790214350164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Pairou,2019/10/03,"I Don't Remember I think it's all the medication I've taken since I was thirteen but my memory is shot to hell. I'm currently on lamotrigine. I've been on so many things but my memory is so bad that I have to rely on my wife to tell the doctor whether I've taken something already and how it affected me. I don't remember what day it is or simple tasks I need to do that day (sweep the house, car inspection, dishes, laundry).

It causes problems with my wife because I'll say that I'll take care of something and forget to do it. Thank gods we don't have kids, I'd forget to feed them or something! (Though I don't forget to feed our furbabies.)

I don't remember how to get places. I still use GPS when I go to my wife's work and I've been there countless times since she started there months ago. No really, I can't count. I don't even know how long she's been there. It was a big deal that she got the job though.

I check my work schedule daily, even hourly, for fear I'll forget a shift and not show up. I set alarms for everything- rent payments, bills, simple actions, loved ones' birthdays. I've forgotten important anniversaries (the death anniversaries of loved ones, such as those of my father-in-law, my sister-in-law, my nephew...) and wondered why people were acting strangely, if they were mad at me.

I've forgotten arguments and then gone and done the thing that upset someone the first time, and saying ""I forgot"" is getting old.

I forget what I'm doing, often while I'm doing it. Coffees go ice cold, food gets old, tasks at work get done eventually... *maybe*.

I'm known as the ditz, the weird girl, the hazy oddity that lives in a fugue state. I'm accepted by family and friends, that's just ""how she is"". I'm well liked at work. Besides the inconveniences, it doesn't cause serious issues.

But if it did, I wouldn't remember.",3.009344115004492,4.5970594447439375,4.213592991913746,86.87959883198563,74.49865229110513,7.642084456424079,23.95696316262353,8.344100000000001,1.3556716262354005,1438,43,300,25,30,471,192,371,0.16899999999999998,0.741,0.09,-0.9836,3,0,3,0,0,0,69.0,2,0,2,5,19,17,2,3,14,0,30,8,0,8,1,49,58,30,1,5,10,4,0,1,1,1,2,2,2,2,21,11,4,1,9,1,3,6,11,9,1,3,15,3,36,8,26,42,1,36,1,0,0,2,21,10,1,6,19,171,57,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538108007758183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629053378961452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042243418690861,0.058715235884232476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09820375269618377,0.1978925180287888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423571624728612,0.09930077377911337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09858669119696488,0.0,0.19713578306477972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723572842724676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865654060097319,0.0,0.0908010853915424,0.1083857778501184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192898636121132,0.11646945099274646,0.0,0.07441590600096075,0.0,0.2012910396751326,0.0,0.10948074057709643,0.0,0.07703519174917235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948549220372843,0.1111393217024639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053212708565283,0.09558185509232604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05293446428122346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04705665222435816,0.0,0.08505153940061227,0.08523938198845846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17386351592121604,0.0,0.0,0.09765246037286747,0.09676549287178322,0.0,0.0,0.09703137075111642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07688099522698097,0.0,0.0,0.07141940013289319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021414081334444,0.0,0.13053664434405662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06677554365593556,0.0,0.10063297020924916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09216438076484884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06170448870954471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4364431045620875,0.0,0.0,0.15319364559761764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15935232741915226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161086993319626,0.2224534714405804,0.0,0.0,0.06817516230888991,0.0,0.0769205662296484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07241998418908939,0.0,0.08418714819300878,0.08867769625671504,0.0,0.0,0.12798027451752675,0.061717396944668414,0.18926607445806534,0.0,0.1123288960599562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318878618541244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08660244798415502,0.0,0.08691301593214885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044539668616204,0.2804858389938598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,drinkupbabydoll,2019/10/03,How do you get through the work day? I was off work for about a week because a relative passed away. I woke up this morning absolutely dreading work and having a panic attack because I didn’t want to go back in. I got so much done during my time off and it was just truly relaxing and therapeutic. I know I need to work to make money and survive and afford my meds but working 8 hours a day is like torture for me. Anyone have any tips or tricks to make it go faster or more manageable?,4.895533333333333,4.8849900200000045,5.896000000000001,82.47633333333336,68.8,8.666666666666668,29.66666666666667,8.344100000000001,1.949266666666666,382,13,80,5,6,127,72,100,0.138,0.779,0.083,-0.7619,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,6,5,7,3,2,5,0,8,0,0,3,0,15,18,10,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,1,1,3,1,5,0,0,6,0,10,2,13,12,2,15,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,2,8,53,13,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207887910092892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241971650745752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020702325376149,0.16688135686987798,0.1365800601605976,0.0,0.21655297917411945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22910249842328506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817685839186296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279996423894901,0.0,0.2018929173758616,0.0,0.1420602337988111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17492151438344902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761619593666047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08677695044295759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23712761827287746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972975754491728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13057232648880354,0.1317041789638779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084006977736348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10357259373480544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10476583219628836,0.0,0.1424773478289042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6465532661108666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kissmeinoctober,2019/10/03,"Lithium hand shakes Lithium shakes and the twitches are so annoying. I was eating nachos today and twitched when I wanted to take a bite and I flicked it all up my nose.

Queso isn't pleasant in your nose. 😬

Eating with a fork is a god damn nightmare these days. God forbid I want fried rice in public. People think I'm on some kind of hard drugs when really I just  am trying to get my shit together.",1.9491666666666667,4.143082728395065,3.218009259259261,90.0247916666667,79.74074074074075,5.531481481481482,21.23611111111111,6.6274283507984215,0.4323444444444449,315,9,63,3,8,102,62,81,0.19399999999999998,0.7040000000000001,0.102,-0.831,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,4,8,3,2,4,0,5,9,4,0,1,11,11,6,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,4,2,1,1,0,0,2,1,6,0,0,1,4,8,2,8,10,2,10,0,0,0,0,2,4,2,1,4,36,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737294660865964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31239824692639984,0.5512912217295308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407412695282005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413138621186759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805204830995613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186755949052474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17257336621810296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765173272652848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20254216045452367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17260946760446594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553431693180773,0.0,0.0,0.18289307587255696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3177776273386857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BashfulHandful,2019/10/03,"Klonopin has started making my heart race? Hi guys, 

I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 when I was 14, and I've been taking more or less the same medication since I was 16. One of those medications is Klonopin, 1mg taken twice a day. 

For over a decade, Klonopin worked well for me. All of the sudden (well, over the past few months), however, it's starting to make my heart race when I take it and that's never been a problem before. Has this happened to anyone else? 

I also should note that I've found a new psychiatrist as I recently moved states, and they're weaning me off of the Klonopin altogether, so it won't be an issue for much longer. I'm just wondering if this is something other people have experienced. It just seems so weird that it worked well for so long and suddenly has the opposite effect.",5.399430379746839,5.9576300822784845,5.807443037974688,81.56762025316458,67.79746835443038,9.10481012658228,29.7240506329114,9.120678840339163,2.270747341772152,635,22,128,11,10,204,103,158,0.016,0.937,0.047,0.5539,1,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,3,11,5,0,0,10,0,14,6,2,3,2,20,26,13,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,12,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,2,3,2,7,1,10,3,14,16,6,18,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,4,13,86,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808766042691025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032508129909354,0.15130025975332242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565205308612604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523171968641483,0.0,0.0,0.1498768835270931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123355173410096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619070689312225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14621158229705614,0.1305796865101545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3499675113059782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15412391275699766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067889294589932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971350904392817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975139381582071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11786480744547374,0.15694454356746393,0.10855077775721868,0.0,0.11388836406316424,0.14261579319340334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006163685034483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14096296699174193,0.10237232975245836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14129547829224698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14580138945437285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344286852045136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12215002766155025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367974404039123,0.0,0.0,0.20903611755746973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220514306936468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3983057513429613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16013641153724492,0.2150037815365808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sendmehappyshit,2019/10/03,"i had an awful day so today my boyfriend/fwb/whatever-the-fuck-we-were broke things off. after 6.5 years. 

this all happened over text at about 8am. i managed to get through two hours of my three hour class this morning before i left (also left because i was frustrated from getting a 0 on an assignment but that’s besides the point). 

i had an emergency session with my therapist. so glad she had an opening today. i cried a lot. i’ve been crying all day. 

i texted him a little bit ago and told him that we can’t be friends any more. i don’t know what will happen down the line, but i can’t stay in contact with him while i’m also trying to get over him. 

we have a long history and it’s a long story, but he was my best friend. i feel like i’m mourning the loss of a relationship, but mostly the loss of my best friend. i don’t have anyone else. 

i’m type 2 with mostly depressive episodes. i’ve been managing for almost a year now with medication and therapy but this has me terrified that i’m going to slip back into thoughts and patterns that i don’t want to be in. 

i guess this is mostly just a rant and to get this off my chest. and a look for support too. thanks for reading if you did",1.0601593625498005,3.0615835737051786,2.852293227091636,92.49539601593628,81.78884462151395,5.928350597609563,21.992191235059767,7.087006719466742,0.5822138964143426,931,30,207,12,25,309,146,251,0.146,0.6970000000000001,0.157,0.7875,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,2,1,0,4,9,15,1,0,17,1,20,2,1,0,2,33,40,17,1,2,7,0,1,1,3,1,1,0,0,0,12,14,0,0,3,1,0,1,5,6,0,2,10,2,28,9,29,27,10,32,0,5,1,0,15,15,0,7,16,138,40,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10499197122482372,0.0,0.11860287559036925,0.0,0.0,0.18943656272985634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054483988554058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281762481090156,0.12135815479867135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09107483389205227,0.0,0.07220133958032111,0.0,0.10078569153852428,0.0,0.2485958172977725,0.0,0.1293083383125207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602066561374581,0.15277099719842124,0.0,0.10201419757942952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894336106445877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059887996324827976,0.08461521783587392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745247303415235,0.10949801727193703,0.2475248969230998,0.0,0.06731350056650896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13047756996020898,0.0,0.20947630671484446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332836557237778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509280212390912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573758567928306,0.0,0.0,0.057864935320413875,0.1187103216229376,0.0,0.20963545396291636,0.09946171923512456,0.0,0.0,0.1006954258333402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931817771044236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196627734938754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11847437324078952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271627270242641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12624375500472176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13440694234137132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10904577601043128,0.13544911649029245,0.13752066369942145,0.07868781518856237,0.0,0.0,0.09402997279123314,0.0,0.0,0.2245389425480864,0.11317671351329665,0.0,0.08041456124607503,0.0,0.11570093733969955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06986034969980377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525459429657124
bipolarreddit,scott226,2019/10/03,"I wake up after naps and think I want to die. Let me preface this by saying I’m not suicidal. I do plan on killing myself one day, when I am old and sick. 

I’m not depressed and I’m relatively happy. 

But I wake up from naps sometimes in an anxiety type feeling, I think I want to kill muself and that today is the day. I take some deep breaths, my head rate slows back to baseline and the thought it gone - almost like it never existed. 

Does this happen to anyone else? Should I be concerned?",0.9283348334833476,3.1572470000000017,2.711701170117013,91.97486048604864,83.95049504950495,5.2568856885688575,22.05310531053105,6.574015621080383,0.4734673267326732,381,13,81,4,11,126,71,101,0.16399999999999998,0.69,0.146,-0.7237,0,0,0,0,0,2,12.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,2,0,3,0,6,5,4,0,1,18,18,7,4,3,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,5,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,3,0,1,2,2,12,2,11,13,1,15,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,2,10,50,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18870393464933016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441625738811857,0.0,0.0,0.13176756113490162,0.19308774090255995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449052513897056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430673634862931,0.0,0.162310402488215,0.0,0.1955797734365172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16491253762527122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574245265753811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09528521537531194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16664437137859278,0.20060691460648644,0.0,0.0,0.19340251120473226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4169806515041632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19270134189998694,0.0,0.09206641001609717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14534308776401014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977449827254341,0.0,0.1276975693362692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14986179764983604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863803685509336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20613205425058656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14168980670198789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415003577025741,0.0,0.14960704580181342,0.0,0.0,0.17862712741960035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223035959071063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Sohelpmespudd,2019/10/03,"My Bipolar Disorder is a Conscious Nightmare Please share your thoughts, and thank you for taking the time to read this. My heart is shattered. I am attempting to distance myself from conversations that affect me emotionally. I have not often been triggered by conversation in the past. I am experiencing sensory overload, and am very reactive inwardly to these conversations. I have learned in therapy over the years to put up a boundary, say no, etc. I have been doing so. Saying no with a smile and in return respecting myself. Others do not understand this. They think I'm being difficult. I am trying to retain some stability before I fly off the deep end. I know it's coming. I can feel it in my gut. I know I am self medicating, and I know the disastrous consequences of doing so. I know that if I drink more than once a week that there are severe complications to my rational thought process. I am trying to stay away, but it is so increasingly difficult. The strong aversions to my surroundings builds throughout the day. Today, I had an off day from work. I was happy to be able to keep to myself. Seems as if taking me from my routine was detrimental to my mental health. I have Bipolar I and have been on medication since I was 14 due to an erratic manic episode that I wont divulge in. The psychiatrist I met has helped me tremendously over the years. I am now almost 30. He started taking me off of medications slowly. I am down to lamictal and trazodone. I should still be on vraylar, but I have stopped myself from taking it. This is worrisome. I  haven't done this since I was a teenager. ""Oh, I'm doing better. Don't need this anymore!"" I know it's bullshit and a large reason as to why I'm a wreck. I haven't taken the vraylar since April. This is delusional perhaps, but I worry how I'm treating those around me. I do not cause harm to others. I will break down occasionally and it is shocking because I hold it together so well thanks to the years of therapy due to trauma as a child. I worry about others more than myself. I want to be off of medication by the time my fiance and J are married and try to have children. That was my entire goal of discussing a ""no medication"" deal with my psychiatrist, and in place trying ECT, that of which I have yet to try. My fiance is the love of my life and truly will do anything for me. I would do anything for him. He doesn't understand that I can't explain what is wrong. This is strange, but my dog knows. He knows something is horribly wrong. He follows me, paws at me, kisses me, more often than usual. When I cry he will whine. I've only ever shown him the reality of things. I feel comfortable enough around him to fall apart when we're alone. Honestly, he's the best therapist I've had after all of these years. With everyone else it's a facade. My dog will lay with me when I'm crying, or lay with me when he knows I'm ""off"" and about to break. He will be vocal and hurt that I am hurt. Now, I'm worried about the effects of my emotional state on my dog (of course). Please, share thoughts below. Please help me see what I cannot. I do not want to kill myself.",2.715408740652279,4.85183683306321,4.23741363132304,83.96217066166228,76.94165316045381,7.311996360431062,25.08712218146664,8.261097354062574,1.667524689357104,2454,88,483,46,57,816,273,617,0.142,0.73,0.128,-0.7743,0,1,2,0,0,1,83.0,0,2,1,7,23,26,1,0,28,0,69,14,2,6,2,74,111,33,1,7,11,0,2,0,0,8,9,2,0,3,33,22,1,4,22,2,0,5,14,11,1,0,16,6,84,15,83,82,9,66,0,3,1,2,31,28,0,8,29,351,117,4,0.07029470072016268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703899887227616,0.0728041101735656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697134543648527,0.0,0.0,0.11569309839204812,0.1251543739658928,0.0,0.0,0.06604418528664019,0.0,0.0,0.04285099710718794,0.0,0.05981561286350905,0.0,0.07376995156741725,0.06216995034872184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221202120609188,0.0,0.060552660352244006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15443085591248912,0.09066853325801758,0.07247074981253708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056381707257165,0.0,0.0,0.07193588463552955,0.0,0.06886204523369653,0.0,0.0,0.05872220243271167,0.15814415380426172,0.062260240265492914,0.0726332168018823,0.0783971728679376,0.0,0.06358558124895332,0.0,0.0671695989513349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108622560709202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483001604126173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471997973713422,0.0,0.08329955880918076,0.09423411228805616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505038619810306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062481159846480026,0.07777067132047748,0.0,0.309057033204478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04965122597992725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06344371188829928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35407257798985864,0.07084052483586517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05212262988308199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07486156209612413,0.0,0.05346228749821368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710424584857533,0.0,0.0,0.07344300078818689,0.23148741686487406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07066558975038156,0.0,0.0,0.07031372346449749,0.0,0.0,0.07227465990619965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11180233487073384,0.0,0.0,0.05601577538838702,0.06399365545131358,0.07333270355570465,0.07941300322272057,0.0,0.17444550852333732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05411629490273445,0.0,0.0,0.04975495097457016,0.07492479796015185,0.05613743879848858,0.05876951739039445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114114666324707,0.0,0.0,0.12943583206446854,0.16077623303484054,0.08161756549969354,0.04670067564695217,0.04504200584586865,0.0,0.16741842113263067,0.08197881056987118,0.0,0.06663115693909884,0.0,0.0,0.2386274376182442,0.0,0.0,0.1463585250509187,0.0,0.0,0.07741968168274548,0.05800048995074455,0.08292327151529329,0.0,0.056386168806730835,0.0,0.06320337800160282,0.0,0.06343003375867598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05117537933012335,0.21416304230189498,0.0,0.04993533853811093,0.1537124403810156,0.0,0.18106993024596527
bipolarreddit,ThePhantom_Player,2019/10/03,"I think I may be bipolar LONG POST

I want to first say that I am going to talk to my counselor about this at my appointment Friday but I just wanted to see what other people thought.  So I have social anxiety and recently started taking antidepressants for it. Before I got the medication I think I may have also been depressed. I was irritable, unmotivated, no energy, just slept and laid around. Didn’t want to really do anything not even just watching videos. I often would tell friends that I was busy even when I wasn’t when they’d ask me to hang.

Flash forward to being on the antidepressant for my anxiety. I started off on Lexapro and my mood completely changed. I was happy, more energetic. I wanted to help my grandmother clean her attic and garage, I wanted to go place and do things. I also started buying a whole new wardobe of clothes (they were thrifted and paid for with a gift card so I didn’t spend a lot of money) These clothes are things I wouldn’t have worn in previous years. Dresses, Skirts and very dressy outfits for college. Normally I’m a t-shirt, and some jeans type of person. Family members started saying how much I changed and If I was ok. I was taking tons photos of myself and posting on instagram. I’m normally very self conscious and only post a photo once in awhile but during this time I was posting everyday. It was like I was weirdly self confident.

I got switched to Zoloft because I get migraines and we thought it might help. My mom said on Zoloft that I was acting nervous, anxious, jittery and talking so fast that I wasn’t making sense.

So I got switched to Venlafaxine which has been better. Last week though I impulsively cut my bangs shorter. There was also one day that little things that would annoy me really set me off. I would get way more irritated then normal. 

This weekend I started having depression symptoms I would call it. The lack of energy, motivation, not wanting to do anything and just being tired. Then Tuesday evening all of sudden in a flash I got a burst energy. I had so much energy I felt like I needed to run. Since yesterday and that random burst of energy I haven’t had the depression symptoms.

I do have a distant family member who is bipolar. So I was wondering if I could also be bipolar or if this is just something else.",3.5254125229179394,5.906278681093397,4.632778487693763,80.91878159897773,75.40091116173122,7.471992888493805,27.791599533307405,8.407314429234152,2.2455139841102274,1827,75,326,35,41,597,226,439,0.125,0.736,0.139,0.7008,0,0,1,0,0,0,44.0,1,0,2,3,26,14,2,1,12,1,49,11,1,3,1,66,86,37,0,20,13,1,1,2,1,8,10,3,1,3,23,18,0,0,8,2,5,6,9,7,0,2,31,6,57,6,37,41,10,49,0,3,2,0,21,14,0,12,27,239,80,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24251512354599106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115995679339608,0.08564873833864126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477764987651528,0.06749092587317201,0.07087626791540698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04621577940441578,0.0,0.06451250509118625,0.0,0.0,0.06705171185895338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07741502058080478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16040325138053446,0.0,0.0794899987090294,0.0,0.0,0.06053166187139475,0.0,0.0,0.048894042319397764,0.0,0.1958966002093849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06333323696022969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502241693011634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14294221487625725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279375242364064,0.0,0.0,0.06448772458246979,0.0,0.0,0.0585740488669945,0.0,0.07921983234516505,0.0,0.08617418765921903,0.0,0.2425429362338776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070588195511877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163364308610716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06179888803977675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407821244213933,0.07598598681191579,0.0,0.06709339433319426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445472638593201,0.0,0.0,0.0506067279175236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637507298418132,0.0,0.08042714079192614,0.0,0.08879295672428315,0.0,0.0,0.11146467456309356,0.0562154471838522,0.0,0.07322205931777871,0.0,0.0,0.2228461650509595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073990509602617,0.051373827153589575,0.05766029852916633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052560187296146026,0.06619824537421742,0.07920995431529465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904371088122539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09713734418389317,0.0,0.07485761393035152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211689449705899,0.12058137252581518,0.0,0.0,0.06041429355870795,0.0,0.15818199246016432,0.0,0.0,0.06271448884327381,0.0,0.0,0.07728327481936784,0.0,0.058365660457164875,0.0,0.0,0.268309256931216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576004655655832,0.11400604845915402,0.12187355136930167,0.06626516288287265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15110323699151498,0.09715766477489456,0.07448730311788325,0.12037639481989015,0.04420801009199884,0.08713754690132791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251097071186707,0.2683039286757053,0.060177974205259964,0.060813771322835726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464411562118615,0.0,0.0,0.08221752697904379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21542561397947405,0.0,0.0,0.04882201417675276
bipolarreddit,BB770M,2019/10/03,"Bipolar Impulsivity I have bipolar 2 and have been dealing with very impulsive purchases for way before I even got the diagnosis. I am wondering if anyone in this sub has terribly strong impulses to by food out when they don’t really have the money to. My most recent big purchase is this half sleeve tattoo at this really great shop. I’m excited for it but very disappointed In myself for doing this. I can afford it but I’d rather have more money in my account before getting it.
The impulsive feeling is like having another person inside me take over and they don’t care about the consequences. The rational part of me fights with the impulsive side but they win more often than the rational side. It’s destroying my bank account. I’m going to be broke by the end of the year if I can’t control this.",5.2759061583577695,6.643089658064515,6.577712609970678,73.00111436950148,68.54838709677419,10.281524926686217,30.21994134897361,10.436869588844218,3.4360967741935493,647,25,113,18,11,219,96,155,0.11199999999999999,0.764,0.124,0.0018,2,0,0,0,1,0,9.0,0,0,3,3,5,11,2,0,9,0,16,3,0,1,0,16,25,8,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,9,5,1,1,2,1,8,1,3,5,0,1,2,1,14,6,20,22,4,15,0,2,0,0,6,9,0,5,5,84,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21384277041327174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14259552125177796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470659356017899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20792448930823976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287295251727597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102471861723217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18062515373572224,0.0,0.0,0.1346966033815591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311524958802357,0.14569061984920542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465980214890396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065471926420664,0.0,0.11590049488233692,0.0,0.1631047945057952,0.2248381548040757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963193985646264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208408450774648,0.0,0.0,0.1780674609792708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612909171129201,0.0,0.20136040120386295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533331243950758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3365341145304526,0.0,0.16187346073949274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211579203405147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13132692649485653
bipolarreddit,jabphoto99,2019/10/03,"Breakthroughs Breakthroughs

I just wanted to say thanks to this awesome community - ever since I joined I feel like I’ve figured out so much about myself. I made an appointment for counseling today, found out what splitting was and it explained SO so so so so very much, and I know I’m in a hypomanic space right now but I want to use this energy to thank you all for sharing the good and the bad - even if you don’t realize it the impact is profound.",2.460287141073657,4.85875934831461,3.6464419475655454,86.53260923845195,79.1123595505618,6.652184769038702,24.495630461922595,7.793537801064563,1.4055008739076156,358,13,70,6,9,116,63,89,0.049,0.727,0.22399999999999998,0.9302,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,0,11,6,0,0,5,0,3,0,0,2,2,20,14,11,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,9,5,10,11,3,8,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,4,50,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20031401064668852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845764503708304,0.2170114435898481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12130520894312498,0.17139105178400216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630478573940569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20122430352257745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184772319825927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172074288719056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22700771542833245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3527214678887736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20488099219146555,0.0,0.1907852819023569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984552204489899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4417519855419397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274056990814027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20720436492759625,0.0,0.1979500667588336,0.2830091115825561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lastblues_throwaway,2018/12/27,"How to be honest with a psychiatrist? I’m 17, living in Japan, and finally going to a psychiatrist at the end of January mainly about Bipolar disorder, and to hopefully get a diagnosis.
DAE see a therapist and completely forget what’s going on with you the second you’re asked? It’s like someone will ask me if I’m okay and a wave of “oh I’m fine!” will wash over me. I want to prevent this from happening when I see this psych for the first time.
I’ve tried writing things down but the same thing tends to happen. Tracking my moods with apps works, but not paragraphs of my emotions. Everything seems to blur into each other and I’ll usually forget when the last time I was happy or wonder why I ever was sad.",3.665531370038412,5.178183197183099,5.233277848911651,80.5350896286812,72.66197183098592,8.543918053777206,26.289372599231754,9.095868883498916,2.143963380281689,562,19,109,12,11,190,97,142,0.07400000000000001,0.8079999999999999,0.11800000000000001,0.4795,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,2,5,8,0,0,10,1,5,2,0,1,1,27,22,12,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,7,10,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,2,2,2,9,6,21,17,3,18,0,1,2,0,4,6,0,6,11,71,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3249576669279815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822252023443476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991889927200328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955007585629738,0.15393454525397518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15721136784131928,0.0,0.0,0.15619955530674787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19038857831663905,0.0,0.14783354952341027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080293252755584,0.0,0.19754823296125207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3073801978094998,0.1850125287268372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726218663170135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14166958184168155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490953246199412,0.0,0.15346791801607731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27699099376072434,0.15822030575261445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14725953679844095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20179431971924452,0.2309289921822329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20268747553370828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179982792814394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914153148577893,0.0,0.10251129803905784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15682678641215778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18847786807557554,0.1265279207370539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bbts95,2018/12/27,Looking for advice on how to communicate with someone who has Bipolar 1 My mother has been diagnosed with bipolar 1 after she used chantix to try and stop smoking. She has always had a history of mental illness such as manic depression and anxiety but when she took chantix it effected her so badly she developed bipolar 1 and started having suicidal thoughts. With this on top of her anxiety and manic depression she has really went downhill. She will snap over small things so easily. She starts screaming at the top of her lungs and when me or my sister try to stay quiet to prevent a huge argument she forces us to answer and when we do she never likes our answers even when we sincerely apologize for anything we've done or say we didnt mean to do it. I'm also manic depressive and have been hospitalized for suicidal thoughts so I tend to try and be protective of myself so my words sometimes come out a little harshly when I reply to her or my sister. This makes her lose it most of the time. When I cant afford my medicine we really struggle. My mom is my best friend and I hate fighting with her. When she has a manic episode she will go all day until shes physically drained and her whole body and voice will start to shake. She now has high blood pressure to the point she can have a stroke easily if we dont watch her closely.  I cant afford my medicine atm so I really would appreciate some advice on how to approach this problem. I dont like fighting with her. I can be done with a argument in a matter of minutes and be smiling and laughing. Unlike me my mom cant do that. It just festers and becomes worse to the point it can last for days.,4.993783259423502,5.895424692073172,5.945886917960093,78.98824833702885,68.84756097560975,9.012416851441245,31.677383592017737,9.218907990703514,2.795056097560975,1321,55,248,25,22,437,167,328,0.218,0.664,0.11800000000000001,-0.991,2,0,0,0,4,0,16.0,7,0,0,5,19,19,3,3,11,0,35,9,3,5,2,54,51,36,2,3,6,5,1,2,1,4,6,4,0,0,11,28,0,3,6,0,1,6,7,13,0,0,10,7,50,6,38,34,5,42,0,4,2,0,41,16,0,6,21,188,61,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104568306890576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611555709889901,0.0896024439817451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16475727206350915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861547828846825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899123741563132,0.0,0.11892948609236753,0.0,0.0,0.11300863460863338,0.0,0.0,0.11961362234513714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927609863221034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13889567402104186,0.0,0.27824647987550793,0.10929788323794408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22039803278428474,0.25241174730932325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711248455487804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319706871827788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611997971038816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631652180494017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377498468541575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777754712899159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521878289599766,0.10792853642015088,0.0,0.0,0.09042817541153687,0.12047183245282996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188049147365418,0.0,0.0,0.11730039977592442,0.0,0.0,0.1085210280956185,0.0,0.0,0.2522384525291673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830532155766771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20359403087316896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10303988397012408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20695706858670432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856353362130937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912410466910516,0.0,0.10650309668427344,0.0,0.22865973022296734,0.1147777507765676,0.0,0.09002937884305477,0.0,0.11257561416062517,0.0,0.2355795545878928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154104724251609,0.0,0.0,0.17097952737790362,0.06279191766090847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964186040335335,0.2193328882485432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12953164794246438,0.09300515888052922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982495967399248,0.0,0.12022631933681832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097400892705349,0.07649624687301876,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ladyredridinghood,2018/12/27,I really hate when my impulses make me dramatically break up friendships instead of gradually fading them out I lost it tonight. Couldn't hold in how much I dislike someone anymore and have now possibly created a mess. May lose another friend or two because of it. This always happens. I guess it's good I cut toxic people out but I hate drama. ,2.7043461538461564,5.614895800000002,4.643365384615387,76.24350961538464,83.30769230769229,7.5576923076923075,29.663461538461537,8.472884824447931,3.046730769230769,277,14,46,7,8,94,55,65,0.24100000000000002,0.653,0.107,-0.8495,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,2,4,8,3,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,0,11,9,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,1,1,0,9,2,6,6,1,9,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,3,4,32,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19830978417203413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499099516636636,0.0,0.0,0.2363594760903769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14528385257167134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18413328931774356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19990002952167585,0.0,0.0,0.26254753925889185,0.0,0.21075457213755436,0.0,0.0,0.4706033799112545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26663048496085084,0.2601655216772076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15908723151819634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752000891780538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652281233959478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686814440380344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15268040238079406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20193636995682016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328139342091461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MissVipolar,2018/12/27,"Help my partner understand about routine Every time my partner and I travel to spend time with his family, I get worn out. It’s a long drive (5+ hours), I never sleep well because the bed is uncomfortable and unfamiliar and my partner snores (we sleep separately at home to ensure I sleep well), his sisters kid intentionally stomps around upstairs above us to wake us up in the morning (to play, not out of spite), also she throws tantrums and although I do love her, she is generally just draining due to her age and lack of discipline. My stomach gets messed up because of changes to my routine and diet, etc etc... it’s really a huge compromise for me, I try really hard to keep it together so at least he can enjoy the holiday, but we always end up having a fight. I do feel like a bit of a hostage on these trips. 

Generally he’s really understanding about this illness, and although he doesn’t always understand and sometimes loses his patience, he is always trying his hardest. Having said that, he just doesn’t seem to understand how hard all these disruptions to my routine are, because “we’re on holiday”.

How can I help him to understand?

Also, any tips on how I can loosen up a bit on holidays (or in general!)? I’m quite protective of the routine I’ve built for myself since being diagnosed two years ago. Is it possible for me to enjoy these trips at all?",5.673172429277058,6.494522217557254,6.679366861248318,74.62488325101033,67.2824427480916,10.134171531207905,32.9690166142793,10.194018383442646,3.4405111809609337,1079,46,197,26,17,361,144,262,0.098,0.782,0.11900000000000001,0.8247,0,0,0,0,1,0,37.0,4,0,0,2,13,12,3,0,10,0,15,9,5,4,3,39,29,18,0,1,5,1,3,1,3,0,2,1,2,4,9,14,1,3,7,5,1,5,4,5,2,1,2,4,31,7,38,26,8,32,0,1,0,1,28,17,0,2,11,134,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822318826758899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15918071966372974,0.2484391089799772,0.0,0.0,0.06768062824526501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859863248260957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18200912795494056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173117380773085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528458851480027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101610148998663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814988994415249,0.0,0.22199407296767476,0.0,0.0,0.08385437183714918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382361108714556,0.0,0.05032299054010684,0.07110090615835933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399574047143456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17831027005213226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13341944380161627,0.0,0.09983200747899468,0.0,0.09801238913116143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846267442213522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048623042536587086,0.0,0.0,0.08807677342740976,0.0,0.11134337183133032,0.0,0.0,0.08982548407706219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07676005980370865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11219984065999868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585742515626148,0.0,0.0,0.19127539916680544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467136727889966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060411044195392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232837046570493,0.0,0.2987915781718973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984330831022121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11606802509388706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351423140932642,0.0,0.09722177285155516,0.5180468233262457,0.2394334035954808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17897042450148826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06409104090874987
bipolarreddit,BlackTwister,2018/12/27,"Zyprexa question >Hi too all. I need advice. I've been on 2,5 mg Zyprexa for 2 years (began with 5mg) and gained 10 kg, which I really needed as I was too skinny. But now I'm afraid to gain more weight. Anyway my doc prescribed Zyprexa after strong depressive and possible manic or psychotic episode (I didnt have any of real psychosis elements) followed by strong insomnia with which I was already fighting for years (sometimes more sometimes less). It really helped but now I'm afraid he simply wants me to continue taking Zyprexa forever and I don't feel either strongly depressive or anxious or manic. I quess it is mostly to control moods and help with sleep. I tried to take 1,25 mg but my moods did vary a bit (PMS mostly) and my sleep was not perfect every night but it was not that bad but he insisted I return to 2,5mg. Anyway I don't know what to do as I'm not even sure if I need to take this drug and is there any better to switch to. Are there any differences between atypical antipsycotics?  And it's not just weight that I'm afraid of. I'm not sure what other consequences this drug can have long term and I'm just in my 30ies. Also we never tried antidepressives as he thinks I have dopamine problem but I'm not sure how to test that. Any advice what to do? I tried to speak to him but he says I don't trust him and that I'm too afraid of medications. :/ Thanks! 

​",3.0322422062350154,4.952797014388491,3.826061151079138,88.26280875299763,75.25899280575541,7.0793764988009595,24.53297362110312,7.937092434478242,1.289754916067146,1102,36,224,17,24,351,141,278,0.11900000000000001,0.8,0.08199999999999999,-0.86,1,0,2,0,2,0,36.0,1,0,0,8,14,21,1,4,1,0,19,10,3,2,6,53,40,25,0,6,20,0,3,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,16,13,3,1,4,0,0,1,11,9,0,0,8,5,22,10,29,32,9,15,0,2,0,0,13,2,0,7,12,135,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21207398915786085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974605626640372,0.08677727238750349,0.0,0.11757306596808473,0.13185436017790214,0.2951684261764249,0.0,0.0,0.12258804791691764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060326433479317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09597033915172473,0.1184673616752925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170580689624062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18692302442938166,0.0,0.0,0.11337229086443353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516797085746512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167137162704998,0.0,0.0914263194835062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054867095294928926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145467057078523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059635539612565826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096029998794688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10931475802509097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413815568116523,0.08369139971397224,0.0,0.0,0.10183147239305143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233134961765965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10383164644436273,0.0,0.0,0.12155864562171255,0.0,0.0,0.12351078974973732,0.13903155649830348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629336146574243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21718139584482768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21464294123928926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3068147650672535,0.0,0.24476330654290385,0.0,0.0,0.0999035758588805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953032056251035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22101825068870204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06400338464366223,0.0,0.0,0.2642775730276734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13185436017790214,0.13975676768609235
bipolarreddit,Spaglioni,2019/03/10,"Recently diagnosed with Bipolar 1 and I have some questions. I'm 26 years old and just had my first manic episode this past October. I'm now living with my parents while my brain heals. The thing is, I used to feel like I was a really sharp thinker before I started smoking weed. I won't go into it but weed has been a detriment to my mental health with how much I've partaken since 17. It feels like there would have never been this decline if I didn't start smoking. So my questions

Could weed have been responsible for triggering my disorder?

How long did it take it take before you started thinking clearly again after being on meds? I'm on olanzipine and lithium.",5.175683760683762,6.3486941923076925,5.474102564102567,81.54311965811969,68.61538461538461,8.23931623931624,32.136752136752136,8.515128840125781,2.535341880341881,535,23,99,8,9,170,88,130,0.027999999999999997,0.877,0.095,0.8079,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,1,7,2,0,0,3,0,16,5,1,4,2,25,29,9,0,3,3,1,3,2,0,2,4,0,0,0,7,7,0,0,6,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,7,3,13,2,10,18,2,18,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,4,16,66,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764833734850994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813593412715675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12971127111872974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16489370984093968,0.0,0.0,0.186193494129104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16428954350948252,0.23212323612917404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13818858542027956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232989045178927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726876234771826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15873972068515074,0.0,0.14345535615160773,0.14377218786952628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804566872815294,0.0,0.1637216969653728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942695917660645,0.0,0.12529934180741056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17047467865444654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18039285533321608,0.0,0.1550866686739751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3639852682463383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407618094113967,0.0,0.1604098740333708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13438877793749565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449705528661505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442997433686621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10793135545034097,0.1040979530981166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031347385538767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540708348706087,0.0,0.0,0.10461905921066243
bipolarreddit,mermaidbipolarbear,2019/03/10,I'm about to buy a house Any advice?,-2.276666666666668,-0.7954097777777775,1.0311111111111124,103.70000000000002,91.22222222222223,3.6,9.0,3.1291,-2.276866666666667,28,0,8,0,1,10,9,9,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5894007628432036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.410169338178746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6959654120556992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pepperonionpizzaaaa,2019/03/10,"Advice for a bipolar person taking lithium for the first time I'm just really curious about prescription meds. Months ako I was prescribed lithium by the doctor but I had issues with addiction(not drug related) before so I kinda avoided it until now. If so, what are your experiences with it? Also, are there meds specifically when someone is in a depressive or manic episode?  Thanks so much. ",4.042028985507244,7.353214072463771,5.014492753623191,72.76637681159424,82.18840579710144,7.7043478260869565,27.95652173913044,8.515128840125781,3.1493304347826085,317,14,45,8,9,103,56,69,0.096,0.825,0.079,-0.294,0,1,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,9,3,0,1,4,0,5,3,0,0,0,8,8,9,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,4,1,8,6,1,7,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,3,6,37,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23045957129019595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18860071498226288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20068199306650186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20312816411538392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24139166023923864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734988763632904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306962263858154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20060490720738985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461551023768913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5239289033456109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188244790989164,0.0,0.17336912445279307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059259022793438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108478429458552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19982599220602812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17732190831901953,0.0,0.0,0.2171292703477848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13751987404963475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lovemetender0,2019/03/10,"Can you have bipolar and not no? I'm pretty sure I'm bipolar, I suffer with various deppereison, mood swings, parnoid, general anxiety disorder and ocd. 

How would a doctor work out what is causing what? Can you be bipolar and not show some symptoms? ",3.4434782608695684,6.292111173913046,4.415391304347828,79.79265217391305,78.56521739130434,8.027826086956521,33.11304347826087,8.841846274778883,3.5221530434782604,198,11,33,5,5,64,35,46,0.21600000000000005,0.7020000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.7833,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,6,5,0,2,1,13,8,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,2,6,2,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,23,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269795090137094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.362293944693954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4041956255942853,0.3609773790727861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35879683898730397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33239162007365103,0.36656392768239615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567512962392434,0.0,0.0,0.250529904528888,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,KevinsFolly,2019/10/01,"I've developed some irrational anxiety about medications that make me drowsy I am currently on Latuda, MiniPress, and Cogentin as my nightime meds.  I'll soon be adding a new anxiety medication (that I have forgotten the name of) that also lists drowsiness as a main effect.

I'm getting scared at night that something is going to happen and I won't be able to respond.  I'm a father of an amazing little boy who sleeps like a rock, yet i'm petrified he is going to wake up sick and I won't react.  I'm afraid his mother will hurt herself and need me to drive to the hospital, or the house will catch on fire, or some other sort of disaster.

I feel like something horrible is going to happen and I won't be able to do anything about it.  I can't drive at all when the drowsiness hits.  It scares me, I feel like i've lost a lot of power over myself.  Anyone else struggle with this?",3.818539765319425,5.047230480225991,5.253333333333334,81.64928292046937,71.88135593220339,8.38400695349848,27.739678400695357,8.841846274778883,2.14205727944372,693,25,136,13,13,233,106,177,0.207,0.732,0.061,-0.9744,2,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,3,6,10,0,4,10,0,15,5,2,3,1,20,31,11,0,1,2,2,3,3,0,5,3,0,0,1,9,6,0,0,3,1,0,6,4,6,0,0,1,3,15,4,22,21,5,19,0,2,0,0,9,7,0,6,9,87,24,0,0.3036337856562133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140791434470427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23227901494478506,0.0,0.0,0.106153901383992,0.1555543475927555,0.12493236715992752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682353323968662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535263652022492,0.21691603714169785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07931806049151134,0.0,0.2588431164476436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685023538898132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751763109974262,0.16252312372415068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22251019580504994,0.15216041034256397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16572607242349358,0.1290692932589926,0.0,0.0,0.10133895484025413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16863434326344134,0.30587909515426365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112570302367177,0.0,0.14662570112432374,0.0,0.1424698695608123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30399038878404705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15192653317246493,0.0,0.0,0.2337521224027665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15871197936534512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pepper_whore,2019/10/01,"How to cope with moving back in w/parents and also to a new town? I feel so lost and alone. 6 months ago I was doing sooooo well, better than I had ever been doing. I was getting everything I needed done, finally able to handle school and get all A’s, and able to break up with my toxic bf in a new city. I honestly felt on top of the world. I was pretty hypo/manic during that time. I was so surprised at how well I was doing, but I guess it has to end at some point. 

I worked at a super toxic job and was fired because of my mood swings. After that things started to go downhill with my mental health and bad things kept piling on until I couldn’t handle it anymore. Meds stopped working correctly and the little things seemed impossible to deal with. The semester started and I slowly withdrew from classes until I wasn’t taking any, didn’t have a job, and barely any close friends. I would sleep in bed all day and call my mom who moved 5+ hours away to console me because I felt like a big baby suddenly. No matter how hard I tried it felt like I was walking underwater or something. Eventually I was so tired of trying to fight off this depression that I just let it consume me.

My parents want me to move “back” home, but they live in a different state than where I lived all my life. I don’t know anyone or anything here, and it’s a very different culture than where I was living before. Even after living in my previous city for 3 years I don’t really have any good friends or roots established there. No one would miss me and there’s not really anything to go back to. I feel so conflicted because I’m at a crossroads. I understand progress isn’t a straight line, but I can’t believe how quickly this depression came on and destroyed everything I had worked to achieve. 

Does anyone else have experience similar to this? How can I cope with being an adult living with my parents again? And in a new town where I don’t know anything? 

Sorry for the long post, I feel so lost.",4.669919028340079,5.274830413533838,5.536854636591481,82.69925534991326,69.42606516290726,8.343975322922692,28.629361866203972,8.384062270229773,1.9236338153075003,1561,53,312,22,26,512,205,399,0.133,0.758,0.11,-0.9381,7,1,1,0,1,0,37.0,0,0,1,10,27,20,2,0,16,0,33,4,1,6,5,62,59,33,0,5,8,3,8,2,3,2,3,0,2,1,15,22,0,3,10,0,0,7,11,8,2,1,22,8,44,11,49,32,4,64,0,5,0,0,13,28,0,6,28,212,59,8,0.15026033106133851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665983586481458,0.0,0.0,0.07781219341736471,0.0,0.06008156623109503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532732666520248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450893612872074,0.10506551720480396,0.0769797330583711,0.1854771741803028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07058726364987909,0.17331137935418978,0.06273055002899812,0.13739595472353305,0.0,0.06393023726843836,0.08464596890216579,0.0,0.06644652602373513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671629906289355,0.08592889446261545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04845274140376258,0.07745590170762202,0.12941900296451092,0.0,0.0,0.15699006467788784,0.0,0.0,0.06574691414913979,0.07688424397420147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276161280859761,0.0,0.06654302684560738,0.0,0.0,0.0496227657635404,0.06795953600564142,0.0,0.0,0.13504429671585294,0.07349171823747641,0.0,0.0,0.11396420730359785,0.0,0.2164102226781657,0.0823014240053694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609075904112298,0.0,0.0785048212130927,0.0,0.08539640889284685,0.06301561832056514,0.0,0.0,0.08276434758178929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730187124705331,0.0,0.0,0.07985985271417421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07536168176652726,0.0,0.07398807922833532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911019302894055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257914830416907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682568447955893,0.0530666577772716,0.07340960781407888,0.07530016326440687,0.3317065630601065,0.06648783228620916,0.0,0.0,0.16402690138076162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08345267702114682,0.0,0.07571353605139468,0.0,0.0,0.0879915418433369,0.059968181342990985,0.23955442816467404,0.0,0.05570806577012048,0.0,0.2176835461056432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05091014454754807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502694732984753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710222906420604,0.0,0.07195393068243823,0.07643438812675299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09626061571356756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07603573852514482,0.0,0.06839568100744135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751844236377022,0.0,0.0,0.057838871953298836,0.0,0.08410206931433632,0.10635503571089502,0.0,0.0,0.06281218248975941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056488534414597925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14973943081643545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04380900370171991,0.08635107318368025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201690144347283,0.0,0.0,0.07821315192502236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06199025483025448,0.04431371818545668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510208316445316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16408696590684024,0.0,0.0,0.10674062800646347,0.0,0.0,0.04838136336251631
bipolarreddit,bipolarhypochondriac,2019/10/01,"Bipolar? Hypochondriac? Imposter syndrome? I first started experiencing depression when I got rejected by a girl in 2011 during freshman year of highschool, and after half a year I started seeing different psychologists. I was a tough client I think, nothing went in, partly because of what I felt was incompetence and I already at that time had arrogance-issues which made me not trust them. Last year my mother told me that if I weren't 17 and almost an adult, my parents would've lost me because of neglect.

Last year, after some years of tumultuous emotions even when having an extremely boring day-to-day life being a college drop-out feeling sorry for himself, my mind was feeling like it could shatter at any moment. I finally sought help, and after a month I got referred to a psychologist. I tell them that I lie to disguise shameful things, or to get a conversation going in a favorable path for me. I usually always plan out my motivations in my head before having a conversation with anyone, saying those things made me feel like I was a psychopath.

The 8 months in 2018 I went to see her, it was mostly just diagnosing, answering questions as broadly as I could. I get diagnosed with ""unspecified bipolar disorder with a mixed personality disorder"". One of the first sessions she mentioned maybe ADHD which I'd never though of, but speaks more and more to me.

Now, about 18 months later, I'm doing much better. Started on some (light) medication, I've cut my (N?)mom out of my life, I've figured my dad out to be a simleton when it comes to emotions after seeing their divorce, he never hated me, he's just really stupid about this. My confidence is at its highest its been the last 10 years (still not very high but, progress), but I'm starting to feel queasy over the whole situation, now that I'm well I feel so much shame, like I've wasted the opportunity to get fully better by not being a good enough patient, also I'm not sure how much of that I said was really true or just something at the time I thought was good enough, or, if I actively tried to push a diagnosis.  I feel like it's really impossible to know, and having lived with anxiousness as an important part of my personality, I can't really shake off the feeling. I really don't think so, but my entire life has been filled with shame, confidence and combativeness in life went from 100 to 0 in 1 year, but now I kind of think I just made everything up to feel sorry for myself. Reading the other posts here... I'm nowhere that. Maybe some weeks when I was 16... maybe. Physically I've basically tried to ruin my body with extreme swings in eating, basically being a stoner and haven't been very active, I somehow have escaped everything I could've done to myself. I lost over 20kg in a year at one point and have been told I'm more than handsome enough to have a chance in the nightclubs everytime I go out, but my self-image stays from when I was borderline obese. 

During the last 2-3 years I've grown from being somewhat of a very light everydayracist/misogynist (about the average of my country) to being vocal in the complete other direction, just a complete shift in values. It wasn't until these extreme feelings of self-pity saw the real struggles in the world. What can I possibly complain about? At the same time, I know that is a really fucking stupid thought, every emotion is a real emotion... I guess it my too rational brain trying to figure out the answer to something there is no real blueprint for.

I'm not sure if I wanted anything with this post, but I read through a lot of submissions here and it made the feeling of being an imposter (have told a few friends I'm diagnosed with bipolar disorder, not the personality disorder), if my friends go into one of these subreddits, I think they will be really scared for me at all times or something, and won't leave my precious privacy /s

Anyone relate to any of this?",7.366502859772531,7.21690217385445,7.768587864045756,71.5993987903491,63.64959568733154,10.689159161133393,35.07869305108146,10.266548611578706,3.602920281375321,3111,126,549,64,41,1025,330,742,0.127,0.769,0.10400000000000001,-0.9468,2,1,3,0,1,0,99.0,0,0,4,10,31,40,5,6,45,0,46,17,3,6,6,107,107,40,0,7,26,3,11,4,2,2,12,3,0,5,30,26,2,1,26,2,0,11,15,20,1,6,36,21,72,20,100,59,21,96,0,6,4,1,33,35,1,18,51,381,102,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0594634192909836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04954546846131736,0.0,0.05460064255582647,0.039567857007821984,0.041169990771230784,0.0,0.0,0.06729401465869604,0.0,0.0,0.0558965062785626,0.0,0.06919289262903716,0.0,0.04071650572463978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06032314436281917,0.0,0.042102472445275964,0.0,0.0,0.08751924443051443,0.0,0.054959346076163484,0.0,0.05523425566124381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04262125876375994,0.10375431788275616,0.0,0.0,0.1185134241371449,0.0,0.0,0.0638189469338044,0.0,0.04261567169952027,0.1506585973861819,0.0,0.051694394974082035,0.2268261228802673,0.0,0.0,0.05063357969105756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050628753453792426,0.0,0.2226261525772089,0.0,0.15337323464315367,0.0,0.03268001523981952,0.0,0.041687684304257684,0.0,0.08893598748112007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501776469038827,0.1060421322611307,0.047507021332880865,0.05420116652849835,0.0,0.08417260013246386,0.0,0.0,0.07645377512298172,0.04574198167050232,0.07755126243471602,0.0,0.08435914144757005,0.08300026551828342,0.07914478964310348,0.0,0.05450603364542533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04884967448466571,0.050779110870371305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03316432722227712,0.05227664404388116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051642592624903935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0515241375802435,0.05438406714231118,0.1613259926685976,0.0,0.052390479369648385,0.0,0.0,0.1397922230414424,0.09669058405752633,0.0,0.04369033192388923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802303246068036,0.04206476461882508,0.0,0.18727062611635747,0.0,0.0,0.1491231034314416,0.0,0.0,0.049844280597650364,0.0,0.0,0.0499590772783642,0.05794850174450063,0.11847955570625075,0.0,0.10911694677135053,0.0,0.07632158157448157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04747585732470276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058352899573952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054939905609916906,0.10716056680749587,0.0,0.0,0.12960788599919287,0.0,0.0,0.046773078945445495,0.0557794594837079,0.09477325639090822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05542712942792466,0.0,0.09898357512256677,0.1689517473855703,0.22187990109749067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04706528694102938,0.039347208010337226,0.04953650797841933,0.0,0.11828363165843744,0.0,0.10323351991182857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05561579242021388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427266423810785,0.0,0.11077403141895234,0.14008425908486166,0.05273738896203133,0.03951351255992257,0.0,0.0,0.051725564505838935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932656091321428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04324630070424952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657424981697739,0.12681503836350685,0.04861227482347533,0.07856064244912572,0.11540500708369796,0.0,0.0,0.14183618892923155,0.0,0.10077775319230804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05449346514609308,0.12247458045122525,0.029183641083903783,0.0,0.03968858638792512,0.0,0.0444870219224021,0.1376009119579613,0.0,0.05524086439611259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035148034337518716,0.0,0.0,0.2867621949147329
bipolarreddit,CheetoBurrito24,2019/10/01,"Focusing strategy advice for school It's so difficult for me to concentrate when a million thoughts are running through my mind about what I need to do or what I need to worry about, or that I want to do a handful of things at once to maximize my time. It's so hard to focus on lectures. I almost can't. The only thing that keeps me in that room is drawing while in lecture, which is still distracting. My grades are starting to dip and I need some advice. 

This is all new to me. I was just diagnosed with Bipolar II so I'm learning a lot right now lol

Thanks guys :)",1.911261755485892,3.949830612068968,3.2727272727272734,90.38136363636364,79.08620689655173,6.631974921630094,26.062695924764892,7.686295010490155,1.4186310344827593,445,18,94,7,11,145,79,116,0.08800000000000001,0.826,0.086,-0.0535,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,1,4,1,9,3,1,0,1,17,18,8,0,4,3,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,11,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,2,2,12,1,19,16,3,14,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,5,7,70,23,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3861453040561315,0.0,0.0,0.197847586493268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005392945309703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19563502306750447,0.0,0.0,0.176992653826707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17561796643574132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16797524404758998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19949923110873766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4395086593066189,0.0,0.1908237606956236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21041599310619954,0.0,0.15026830863108864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16873203308645593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999612625604105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13984796907953495,0.0,0.1577874493195225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819048947469298,0.0,0.0,0.2625264226350604,0.0,0.0,0.15685625733920885,0.11521034531429805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165376599081736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20065183418042948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RinzenKali,2019/10/01,"Realisation: loss of empathy while manic **When I'm in the manic mindset,** I'm indestructible, and empathy seems to leave me because my racing thoughts are only focused on what *I* want, should, or could. There's no room for or interest in other people's emotions. Nothing can go wrong and nobody has a right to stop me and my plans.

**When I'm in the manic mindset,** I want sex with strangers, so I should and will have sex with strangers. If you don't like that, SO, then we might as well break up now. This is my wish and I will pursuit happiness. And no, I don't regret that I hurt you by saying this. I just regret that you're crying right now.

**When I'm back down from that mindset,** I feel all the pain and shame I should have felt for how I've hurt others by being such an egocentric hedonistic bitch like a knife in my gut. Regret consumes me while crippling shame stops me from offering my apologies to those I have affected.

The limitless energy and indestructiveness I felt, that burning sun of mania, implodes and becomes a black hole of shame and regret. I look back and suddenly see that same sun in a very different light... No longer the epic eternal centre all lowely planets orbit; but a destructive force that will burn out and consume everything in sight.",1.7629918032786909,4.513037983606559,2.9558811475409854,87.45136270491804,87.19672131147541,6.000819672131147,22.37909836065573,7.413659706084162,1.1946540983606555,1004,36,190,18,32,322,140,244,0.14300000000000002,0.754,0.10300000000000001,-0.8733,2,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,1,2,0,2,14,20,2,3,11,0,18,4,1,2,2,45,33,26,0,12,5,0,3,2,0,7,1,1,1,0,13,16,0,2,5,0,0,1,5,15,1,0,3,9,24,5,25,21,3,30,0,8,4,2,6,14,1,5,16,130,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24375390022192414,0.0,0.09662031415182563,0.17505113299542682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12654959543076386,0.0,0.17410514130716812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655990825757723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17829150840552205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14244985304720048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014251608713051,0.0,0.30437029595092624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09007937538554826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16872652087435472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3393557071564833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16782893626414394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15487048471763531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133100336010908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681437749139535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15208531643345044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12054662346436144,0.1686554985235315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988415372147116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707167871142335,0.0,0.1260458034511628,0.0,0.0,0.1263042211583961,0.14429272387672026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650267025809112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12583153669426916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13077935026769094,0.18697517176235798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14251080838786578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18226752733385734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17329520059366627,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thatonejessica,2019/10/01,Do breakups hurt worse for BP’s? I swear every ex I have had has moved on and to me it feels like an atomic bomb? What has your experience been?,-1.3132258064516122,0.6703867096774232,0.5312258064516122,102.29683870967743,101.258064516129,3.7703225806451615,12.651612903225805,5.6839178017228535,-1.3309406451612902,112,2,28,1,5,36,29,31,0.31,0.623,0.068,-0.8377,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,7,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,4,1,3,5,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34437941949980266,0.0,0.0,0.3998242245970833,0.0,0.0,0.20667022947059305,0.2920025307240819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.437562515468916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19968875559146226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43442384070289497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4165389726393168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gw76tkna,2019/10/01,"Lithium Hey all, so I was diagnosed with BP 1 and I have been on lithium since 2016. I relocated at the start of the year after months of what I thought was depression and loss of love for my current partner however after getting into a new dr and seeing a new psych it turns out my dose was too high and caused ‘emotional numbness’ I was taking 3 x 250mg tablets twice a day. I was reduced to 1.5 x 250mg once a day and was going well until about a week ago where I noticed the numb feeling has returned and increased suicidal feeling 😞 which yet again is putting another strain on the relationship I currently have with someone I am currently been seeing for a few months.
Has anyone had this issue? 
I lost my engagement due to it and my whole life and I don’t need it to happen again so I’m curious if it’s just me or if anyone has had this issue with lithium also? 
Thankyou xx",4.334333333333333,5.027466211111115,5.665555555555558,81.16000000000003,70.22222222222223,8.666666666666668,31.66666666666667,8.841846274778883,2.5595000000000003,698,30,139,12,12,235,112,180,0.094,0.8059999999999999,0.1,-0.1978,4,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,11,9,0,1,10,0,18,7,0,1,1,23,33,15,1,3,4,0,2,0,1,0,6,0,0,1,8,13,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,6,1,1,12,4,16,3,20,21,4,31,0,3,2,1,4,7,0,3,21,97,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13491322075342174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217116723697624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15959154479772686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21283898888728534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634796928083453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963086036894778,0.0,0.13108682309188507,0.15447648024952826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17120083947218484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15391048238060528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07951651128886163,0.0,0.08649691072252035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458706832884662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16080420456437014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3177076945382644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075010534895616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661407128094331,0.0,0.1373634936635333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429639604318814,0.0,0.0,0.11285194902021288,0.0,0.2939851062025732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17327698924066434,0.0,0.16208455345012146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15299975365559573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634023331735998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24256218240092225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12589871027127278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12895579794928186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107725630949176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16647852334095128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443300207708787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12082720543894784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16554634108041175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208303882394292,0.0,0.13684314103378042,0.0,0.0,0.16992221710346855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800970606743928
bipolarreddit,Adamgeorge315,2019/10/01,"Keeping it down My urge to yell, scream, fight, argue for the most part stays in my throat. It is easier(in my opinion) to let these things out. It’s infuriating though. I want to have the privilege to whip up a shit storm of emotion, but I am not given that privilege as someone diagnosed with bipolar. It’s like growing up and learning to suffocate your demons but they’re still suffocating you back. It’s a battle I am winning but fucking ay. 

My life is great. No sarcasm. I have anxiety. Sometimes depression. I get a little over excited from time to time. I maintain a balance. Right now I’m balanced and enraged.

I’ve felt god before. Like the Holy Spirit or something. I know that we(collective peoples) are not communicating right. There is a way to connect in a meaningful way and we have yet to perfect that. 

My rage comes from seeing the world and wondering things. I get mad sometimes that other people aren’t debilitated by this wondering. I know some must be. 

I am wary of sharing everything. I want to though.",2.557413831944132,5.380811134715028,3.8235413381392216,82.59554629421042,82.73056994818653,6.672583915296237,28.08042351881054,7.893859768569023,2.2121711646767284,811,38,146,16,23,264,123,193,0.17,0.627,0.20199999999999999,0.8038,1,0,1,0,1,0,30.0,1,2,0,2,7,19,8,0,10,0,14,6,2,0,2,29,29,11,0,3,6,0,1,2,0,1,3,2,0,0,14,8,0,1,7,0,0,2,4,10,0,0,2,4,19,9,24,24,3,22,2,1,1,1,6,11,2,6,8,102,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233642143307386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291514121685572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249547224670155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649441352744215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264778318394574,0.14904511247828528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16518144596699266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197528538826034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14099472836424307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13575631768794724,0.15344144752372965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16189770502728795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305230459788042,0.0,0.0,0.16140491571433865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15015949404619314,0.10372133403741766,0.1434826079606813,0.14717778948507187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15901938897107631,0.0,0.20360838901298708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25081054472520586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170168678769926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507348168139004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12442173319220512,0.11304885608953795,0.29046794968637524,0.0,0.0,0.15651778669176633,0.11727102255193207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19511527793931505,0.0,0.2885499571053912,0.0,0.17125360808905954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732265855387005,0.2331182785358245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3184954064663766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,steamevaporizer,2019/10/01,"Being in contact with women makes my episodes worse. And it stops me from dating. Texting and communicating with a woman that I'm interested in makes my episodes extremely bad and causes me to have mood swings the whole time. With any potential partner, may it be sexual or for a relationship there is a up and down.

You may guess where this is going... If it isn't going so well, I get extremely depressed, if it is going good I get manic. Women are like drugs to me they make my episodes worse. And its very hard to deal with for me, especially when I get depressed.",3.2097272727272714,5.403019609090915,4.361818181818183,83.38272727272731,75.63636363636364,7.309090909090909,24.63636363636364,8.238735603445708,1.5538363636363632,447,15,87,8,10,146,70,110,0.16699999999999998,0.7440000000000001,0.08900000000000001,-0.8635,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,1,0,5,8,0,0,4,0,10,1,0,4,0,20,21,10,0,2,3,0,1,1,1,2,1,0,0,4,7,9,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,3,1,0,0,1,12,4,14,17,1,12,0,2,0,0,9,5,0,6,5,61,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262718701918834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15503885400270725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907491953028191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19143263100586347,0.3198596839421209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21533514205936224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29103756086003435,0.0,0.31658644865794977,0.1557434016468237,0.0,0.0,0.20455248033742268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633689622612013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071609816127693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3718376628733772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19935573008614732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15524060901936182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082741618840464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320921088330428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16695272189955798,0.0,0.0,0.20731018334071036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3784568662168705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Mysterious_Implement,2019/10/01,"Sudden withdrawal from depakote sucks I didn't realize my depakote script had no refills left and I don't have the cash to make an appointment right this moment and they require an appointment for scripts. I had been on 1000mg a day (500 BID) which had been doing pretty good. I'm trying to get into an appointment but the withdrawal has been terrible. My moods are shit, I'm anxious, shaking, irritable, super forgetful and unfocused, plus I keep seeing little shadows moving around in my peripheral vision. This really sucks. I hope it's over soon and I hope I can get an appointment soon.",4.408636363636365,6.89970895454546,5.434545454545457,75.69181818181819,73.0909090909091,9.127272727272727,29.181818181818183,9.642632912329526,3.2607454545454555,475,20,79,13,10,156,76,110,0.233,0.595,0.17300000000000001,-0.8366,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,2,3,10,3,1,7,0,13,1,1,1,0,15,24,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,2,1,0,1,2,3,5,0,0,7,1,11,4,10,17,0,15,0,0,1,0,1,8,3,2,5,53,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731889322484333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21527198571040296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559545589770784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526830147305457,0.0,0.0,0.20282800681920715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4803656927727453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21494164244401684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627392566230391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423682006956709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16141741527718312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25701748489389425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460189237107837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15491674398123606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065138383081741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19270005221315276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24822581220437576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641806058014851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,aurortonks,2019/05/18,"I don't have many friends who understand so I wanted to share here. I finally feel GOOD about myself and my life. A few weeks ago, I met with my pdoc and she increased my lithium by 50% and switched me to a slow release tablet. This adjustment has literally changed my life. At first, I thought I was just feeling ""good"" because a few good things were happening in life (we are going to Hawaii next year, got our debt paid off, started a new job) but now that several weeks have passed, I am ready to credit my med increase. I never thought I'd feel this way again! My OCD tenancies, negative thought loops, and feeling of dread and depression are all just.... gone. They were my constant buddies in every minute of every day for the last decade but for weeks now, I've been able to spend my time thinking about other things and doing productive stuff with enthusiasm. Even going to work (retail cashier!) has been something I can do without feeling like I want to literally die in a fiery car crash on the way to work. Before, if some small thing happened that threw off my routine or disrupted my day (even minimally), my entire self would shut down, start punching myself, and get stuck in a negative thought loop, but now, I can brush it off like it's no big deal and just move on. I know that there will be down periods in the future (I'm not ""cured"" by any means!), but knowing I can feel this good about myself and life again gives me the strength to face it when it comes. 

I just want to say that you should never give up on yourself. I did and I was miserable. I hope that each of you can also find that sweet spot that helps you feel good about yourself because you matter and you are important in life. 

Just to share the details: Bipolar I, OCD, Generalized anxiety disorder. Risperdal 1mg, Buspar 15mg, lithium 900mg.",5.672897244398662,6.174455971671383,5.5096536183363405,84.1397984805563,67.18696883852691,8.797785217615248,31.62619108936389,8.710501217029153,2.3118793201133143,1430,55,288,21,22,444,199,353,0.14800000000000002,0.713,0.139,-0.8023,2,0,1,0,0,0,55.0,2,5,1,4,21,17,0,2,11,0,26,7,1,0,3,59,63,20,1,7,13,0,7,2,1,3,6,1,0,1,20,16,0,0,18,0,5,10,8,3,0,1,17,10,43,14,41,42,7,58,0,2,0,0,20,19,0,4,29,187,63,4,0.08870159812429759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07862861478901156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093463597299605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060320128431929215,0.0,0.06785647977813705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081433418362074,0.0,0.07547852682237391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383452940332122,0.0764085726078244,0.0,0.09585491575232337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11441038538009406,0.0914474527920474,0.07639855648873256,0.0,0.09205825467673387,0.0,0.1016597161965147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171731379928055,0.0,0.14946984417655595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3139513523752283,0.06336843942341554,0.0,0.09716826504530483,0.08107165372066644,0.07544953405129512,0.0,0.0,0.06853063467700461,0.0,0.046342923996493625,0.1701813109960492,0.10082232468633852,0.3719934604392121,0.07094277106519904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15687706055957992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05945481147327479,0.0,0.0,0.0881007012459047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802264925724372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749615716383644,0.07230364131589796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132628098654773,0.0866702407054941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992949823169863,0.0,0.09662204412190337,0.0985274791721949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427576112236273,0.0,0.0,0.136824281507056,0.08566855620308993,0.09433515590288116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053907104989966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253511194337594,0.10020755797435037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828682380408059,0.0,0.0,0.1255668953939957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154210818090098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17678820114163807,0.056836402464496574,0.0,0.2816766433841387,0.05172261518563447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234149187726627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15695550225861754,0.14081439974304738,0.2134532148521765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550517526791229,0.0,0.12915163973084715,0.0,0.0,0.06301107033432173,0.0,0.0,0.05712092099591715
bipolarreddit,DryRoastedDeezNuts,2019/05/18,"I'm finally getting the help I need, and I picked up my Lithium prescription today! After years and years of anger, depression, and outbursts, I finally started seeing a therapist. That led to an appointment with a psychiatrist, who's prescribed me Lithium ER, which I just picked up and am starting my dosing of tonight.

​

I feel kind of proud for finally taking a step towards fixing myself. I don't know if this for sure will change things, but it's a step in the right direction at least. Any advice about the meds or just in general is GREATLY appreciated",6.5697142857142845,7.818062161904758,6.892380952380954,72.36428571428574,65.47619047619048,10.19047619047619,35.95238095238096,10.290406445055957,4.010809523809524,457,22,76,11,7,148,77,105,0.046,0.838,0.115,0.7896,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,3,6,1,0,8,0,4,1,0,3,1,18,13,7,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,2,1,0,0,2,10,4,15,12,1,20,0,1,1,0,2,7,0,2,10,53,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17078757633661298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893680508287794,0.21237009492414716,0.11885262383648502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848882009366412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15053298346757799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08837121669905229,0.0,0.0,0.5743706232641453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131244008297797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19268945553436131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171476342474402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820007016488097,0.09605147066267336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194135021327498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12959304509375436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14925643108168427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927261387524634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24741252004162095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16472285708147705,0.0,0.13140864049883258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20292661498412515,0.11611238302057855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16566574912330728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21237009492414716,0.22509803983533028
bipolarreddit,ThaAstronaut,2019/05/18,"Coping skills for when I wake up angry and my will power is low? Have had many occassions where something greatly startles or disturbs me in the morning while I try to sleep, and I end up going into a rage and destroying stuff or harming people.    

Problem is, my brain simply isn't there and coherent to think clearly at all, I just go straight into animal mode. I don't think about the skills I have, nor does any self-talk work when my anger goes into over drive.",8.940274725274726,6.611901461538468,8.324258241758244,75.90199175824178,61.85714285714286,10.85824175824176,35.936813186813175,8.841846274778883,2.9742945054945054,367,12,70,4,4,116,68,91,0.27,0.685,0.045,-0.9718,2,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,4,6,9,3,2,3,0,8,3,3,0,2,15,12,10,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,2,0,0,3,3,8,0,0,1,0,10,1,12,10,1,18,0,1,0,0,0,11,0,2,4,48,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17293725783852584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.283890350761625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225454828357768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252402296040461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2890566849478315,0.0,0.0,0.28037400419831165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578270508912296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17630422650622735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24333714070372456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26529732162834263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544903297244855,0.0,0.0,0.19577770078037898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911202976592589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044020703794868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32589889455255283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17265753749025622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851382863483699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PeptoBisma,2019/05/18,"5 Things I LIKE About Bipolar Disorder [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYOqRI70Jjo&t=8s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYOqRI70Jjo&t=8s)

​

Hope this brightens up someone's day!",35.263125,46.281619062500006,12.605000000000004,18.940000000000023,14.625,8.200000000000001,45.5,8.841846274778883,5.7013500000000015,179,6,10,2,2,34,16,16,0.126,0.42100000000000004,0.452,0.7882,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,5,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7740903306961712,0.2893723559145498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535838846035287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729349100482885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365318128889929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634566392596588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20177956563255867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15821301882225128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893723559145498,0.0
bipolarreddit,fsubean,2019/05/18,"Generic Wellbutrin Hi, all. I have been taking 300mg bupropion for a few years now and seem to be doing well with it. I still have mild swings into mania, but they are few and far between, thankfully. 
With my most recent refill the pharmacy changed manufacturers. I didn’t think much of it at first. However, after about ten days with the new one, I am finding myself weepy at the drop of a hat. 
Was wondering if anyone has had similar experiences with Actavis bupropion?",4.873214285714283,6.8350291136363674,5.806038961038965,75.82727272727277,70.36363636363636,9.119480519480518,29.61688311688312,9.606745405546679,3.0013746753246755,374,15,65,9,7,123,72,88,0.064,0.875,0.06,-0.09,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,4,2,0,0,5,0,11,0,0,0,1,15,16,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,4,0,7,2,14,11,5,13,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,4,8,54,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929222122842816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918754770901581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17793868647942432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26989225854776944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521761206527677,0.2346883272872517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028250972894572,0.0,0.0,0.26647494128655874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869632963340412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724271682987056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511774831874579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22034153996284764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20744947187035254,0.0,0.0,0.25402023296639425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767915520107677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480756147375588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29921188885693023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17767655652485687
bipolarreddit,MyPurpleCrayon,2019/05/18,"Talking loudly to no one Lately I’ve been talking, arguing, and debating loudly to no one. Well, not exactly no one, more like myself or the tv. The main problem is that I start shouting and can even get frustrated at times (raised blood pressure and headaches.) I get loud enough that neighbors on my floor can hear me and comment about it (sound seeps under these old doors.) Some of the neighbors think I’ve lost my mind. I’m afraid to tell my psychiatrist because I don’t want to be locked away in a mental hospital in the country where I live. What should I do about it? Is this a symptom of bipolar disorder? Could it be another disorder that was missed?",4.24212598425197,5.990767425196849,4.600795275590553,84.69725590551181,71.5984251968504,7.914645669291338,30.02283464566929,8.548686976883017,2.2916683464566936,521,22,100,9,10,164,87,127,0.20800000000000002,0.747,0.045,-0.9645,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,5,9,2,2,6,0,12,3,1,0,1,14,21,5,0,4,2,0,0,1,2,1,2,6,3,0,9,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,7,1,3,3,6,10,2,14,14,4,12,0,2,0,0,8,8,0,2,5,70,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18951347490995427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16980385561192238,0.0,0.0,0.11017267446083144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442999591021308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4142695288726217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18674468017021856,0.0,0.11937191664732978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888502349691325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20369832986054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038737989893835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829662605720691,0.0,0.15958984787613825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19729055100280532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821355536220892,0.0,0.1824880057394776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18964804635418825,0.0,0.3674064577774048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17293631143559082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12792318467698952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878499617597433,0.0,0.29053140017178997,0.15796791296115514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158058990951076,0.0,0.0,0.10538640194308994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660053691433316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16249995704831394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,btrowb0,2019/05/18,"Every time I hit a major depressive episode I adopt or take in an animal. Halp me. Every time I hit a major depressive episode I take in an animal. I’ve learned to stick to just cats because the dogs never work out. Usually I come around and return the animal eventually but feel like a real ball of shit about it. I’ve done this at least ten times. It’s a costly dumb habit. How do I replace this with a healthier habit??? Yesterday I hit a low but took in a stray kitten, it’s so cute and sweet I think it’ll work out but I’ve got to stop doing this, but have stopped using alcohol to cope. But I mean... alcohol vs adopting animals... I’m not really sure which is healthier.",1.7396070835639181,3.68241172661871,4.030359712230215,85.21108467072496,79.21582733812949,8.305700055340344,22.92252351964581,9.057496981413335,1.8366387382401768,526,17,111,14,13,182,86,139,0.179,0.721,0.1,-0.8542,0,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,2,5,9,2,0,11,0,6,3,1,2,2,27,19,10,0,0,9,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,8,7,2,2,4,1,1,2,2,5,0,1,3,2,10,4,14,12,3,19,0,3,0,0,0,8,2,1,10,63,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3652539209630108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15212626617811292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041715440756728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14720460555455622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2943706180871575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748774283638682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28796048274899705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08640594599793161,0.12208219328751675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667448919900926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08348708895436316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18614678179949706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13179911430166702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945075927914859,0.10947502413082087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17541374858910086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857395059361433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610596167536952,0.0,0.2569725374104871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949792569570227,0.0,0.0,0.2989379426990534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18986250110939476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14759208876894886,0.18820863753916814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488165337269587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,stardust_zan,2019/08/11,"So, how ""crazy"" are you? Freshly diagnosed and still confused. So, I was recently diagnosed and in so many ways my diagnosis makes sense and reading through your posts here made me feel like I am not alone, etc. Yet, every now and again I start doubting if I am really ill . Honestly, since I was told I have it, two months ago, I go through periods of: 
1. ""OMG I have it, it's great, it makes so much sense, it explains so much in my life"" 
2. ""F**k I have it, there's no end to my miseary! So far there was at least a hope, that one day I'll be normal, but now the hope is gone. ""
3. ""Do I even have it? I mean, was I ever really that ""crazy""
I probably don't have to mention that these thoughts change depending on the mood I am currently in :)

The main reason for me to doubt it is that my highs are not the highest, even though I do get psychosis every now and again. When I get into my higer moods, I do feel like I spiral out of control and I can see practiacaly all the symptoms. but I don't necessairly seem super ""crazy"" to the outside world. I think. 
I do have many coping mechanism though (and that's even before meds); I take care of my sleep and diet, I exercise and meditate, I don't drink or do drugs (for the most part, cos when an episode hits sometimes I have no saying in the matter). I also isloated myself and am usually very tense because I try not to loose control, so it's not really a perfect scenerio and I still managed to blow up my life a good few times, but you know I do my best..And for the most part I think I seem normal enough.

So what about you? How do you cope with it? Do you tink it's very visable to the outside world? And if it is do you isolate yourself like I do ? Are you so called high functioning or not? 

I would like to hear your stories, how does the disorder manifest in yous and what are your ways to deal with it? 

Also, for me, the most overwhelming is the daily battle. Everyone talks about the episodes, and either of them is soul crushing, but in between, there's still a struggle. Every day is tough and can potentially lead to loosing control. It's exhausting. I don't remember when was the last time I actually felt 'normal'.",2.0643363499245884,3.844188766968326,3.6200452488687813,89.2945625942685,77.61990950226244,7.157767722473606,24.45550527903469,8.055295364500962,1.2985079939668172,1673,58,364,29,39,554,207,442,0.105,0.81,0.085,-0.8306,1,1,2,0,0,0,77.0,0,10,1,6,38,22,1,5,20,0,44,12,1,13,3,74,71,42,0,8,14,0,3,4,0,1,9,2,0,0,22,19,2,3,13,3,0,3,11,8,0,2,10,6,59,12,36,58,14,48,1,1,1,0,19,16,0,15,30,263,81,3,0.0,0.0,0.08195366775891036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444438565435411,0.0,0.0,0.0869793348208105,0.0,0.13431968529001534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05119424186225369,0.0,0.07146192991527264,0.0,0.08813322904160856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08575433192859655,0.0,0.08562456731370244,0.0,0.08884111609164329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28257662226240754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083220259565006,0.08658106798685343,0.0,0.1704785729078583,0.0,0.0,0.096249884833316,0.0,0.0734926315280676,0.0,0.0,0.0822697355210893,0.09739168540200092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438253515036672,0.08677516788904165,0.0936613871336235,0.16640663764344282,0.07596592483643425,0.21227368853121625,0.08024776380123964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492697189055029,0.11999256391352806,0.08063525089616486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775356187064688,0.0,0.04772852759557463,0.07043955868774768,0.0,0.09258971747272346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465306725875153,0.0,0.0,0.17746178102605276,0.0,0.16682482827831116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046153944993168564,0.06845599623976874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186369999846483,0.16411615138200789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946516903556547,0.11211638545338168,0.17028778304253495,0.0,0.0914802929521813,0.09328433009697724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703309975661326,0.0,0.12347188735575418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468516298700457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056907925530715775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818872021074716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043090361085392,0.0,0.09054608243443546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400406077536271,0.0,0.16140177952507054,0.08634679866362921,0.0829214359720495,0.0,0.09513448050399692,0.0,0.0,0.06678532774651504,0.0,0.0,0.06692225028420004,0.1529069051359243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947022751721472,0.0,0.08404198454883799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08305968695420878,0.0,0.059442420620113214,0.0,0.20120280600624885,0.0,0.0,0.08779552484355171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728876214729979,0.0631435117376825,0.06750101530058465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10762369591850864,0.1650224689760211,0.06667179857543183,0.09794038270325044,0.0,0.0,0.08024776380123964,0.0,0.05701781326506891,0.0,0.08203756058111207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09249357486480346,0.13858679195913295,0.0,0.13332094821060986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059657930297373436,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,yelbesed,2019/08/11,My wife is not too empathic today again My wife has a custom of accusing me of deliberately gotten a manic psychotic episode 10 years ago just when she has a serious sickness ( gut problems and hospitalized). She likes to accuse me ( when any of my 2 xhildren are rarely visiting our volcabne like habitat) of intentionally starting to feel worse whenever she gets sick or just weak. I can inagine this being an unwanted pattern. That I get off balance lising her support. But this fantasy of me being in malevolent control is painful. I feel okay after the initial shock and just asked in awe if she can really imagine this to be real and then disengaged and went to eat to my room and returned later - she gets always calmer after discharging her bitter anger. Thanks for listening. I go regularly to self help groups and am fine on a keto diet and glutenfree since 7 years so ny end of these dramas get calmer. Just venting. Am helped by r/MargaretPaul and many other good tools.,7.292651515151513,8.033767972222222,7.639595959595963,69.43590909090913,63.722222222222214,10.767676767676768,35.808080808080796,10.637119530657019,4.10011111111111,785,35,128,19,11,257,128,180,0.151,0.7240000000000001,0.124,-0.6705,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,0,1,9,14,2,0,6,1,12,7,1,2,0,24,26,15,0,3,8,2,2,2,0,0,4,1,1,1,6,8,2,1,3,2,0,3,1,7,0,0,2,4,19,7,20,21,0,22,0,0,0,0,17,5,0,2,16,85,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16541357851124774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15526984407575628,0.0,0.0,0.12689741930412174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17444996325409035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20929274867939446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19094292972281973,0.0,0.0,0.1652761482254398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887056251329065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3899724759239219,0.0,0.10605160452680933,0.15651495232148388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250154047655444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18233100893353804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18918761517219396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985602825745057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17855524923945928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21239670758128615,0.1195435836414609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946691296236828,0.0,0.0,0.15436112250247222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320795842925815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21175650909376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17180029883234238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17687919165969918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17298418697828466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19016586816947748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403342847930565
bipolarreddit,DapperTangerine,2019/08/11,Going in patient today and terrified I'm going to an in patient program today and I'm terrified. Does anyone have any advice? Things I should bring? Also I started a new job last week will I be fired for this?,1.385714285714286,3.9163118571428575,3.700285714285717,83.49471428571428,85.19047619047619,5.2647619047619045,22.685714285714287,6.742157984588678,1.0459085714285714,166,6,29,2,5,57,31,42,0.26899999999999996,0.731,0.0,-0.9207,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,10,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,4,7,0,11,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,6,18,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778926290759469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274184067887051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19338800174433327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19884495386857626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488626612954832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3232391642586193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822030504678132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23180747581961544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27465576296200545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20128547150631396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18892928910862844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5391175583050035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22811230545676325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CleverlyCoathanger,2019/08/11,"Does therapy work? Here’s how I look at group therapy: you get a bunch of people in a room to find more problems in your life.  It’s not productive and created an attitude of pessimism in my life.  I saw everyone in emotional pain there and, consequently, I was in emotional pain leaving.

I quit going to therapy and now I have a good job and a better attitude in life.  I can finally see good things in myself.  I’m still on medication, but it is now far less than what I was on.

I had a rough childhood, but I feel I am moving forward.  I think therapy has a slim to none chance of success, but I am open to other opinions.

The question I have is: Who here has seen personal success in therapy and how do you know?",2.574632183908048,4.175128710344828,4.910086206896555,81.38145114942532,75.6896551724138,9.247126436781613,29.32471264367816,9.725611199111238,2.945816091954024,553,25,114,16,12,194,86,145,0.14400000000000002,0.795,0.061,-0.9087,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,3,0,5,8,8,0,0,8,0,13,6,0,2,0,19,23,10,0,1,4,0,2,0,0,0,6,0,1,1,6,6,0,0,5,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,5,6,18,5,19,18,4,22,0,0,4,0,7,15,0,2,6,85,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10773230968337402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659800202814544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740429235778878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163960401278014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06159151831687831,0.0,0.0,0.1334384659201288,0.11133343892730503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364144385476027,0.0,0.06922824201077067,0.2043392939873309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087904705961112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06694437550667548,0.0,0.0,0.12898071469052794,0.0,0.0,0.25811704320616435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229092101982222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227121990879257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12946627102743016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592318967191105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444870709215821,0.10636104095527103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11655708616382082,0.0,0.0,0.13645667787112853,0.12956144836609326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09706793760404056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972787642188388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6965099227955172,0.0,0.08092610051961689,0.0780518449078547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868017077755852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,amazingaz,2019/08/11,"Why do I crave the “dark” side of being bipolar So I think the lamotrigine that I’m currently taking is causing a long episode of hypomania, since around January of this year. It’s kind of like this looming threat of the bad that will inevitably come back. On the other hand, I also feel like I missed the lens of depression; how the music sounds sickly sweet, and the nights are long and the days just go by. At times I feel over stimulated and others hyper fixated. I wake up in the middle of the night and I don’t feel truly rested. It’s just go go go. My thoughts are so fast, I even took two .5 Xanax throughout the day along with a small amount of alcohol (which isn’t that bad, right?) And smoked some weed. I’m physically tired but damn I still feel wired basically. I find it weird that I crave the low because the lows really sucks and have been some of the hardest times of my life. I guess this is just me complaining about hypomania but I’m curious to see if any of y’all can relate?",2.8296751536435494,4.601880442786072,3.9326192566578895,87.92665496049167,75.41791044776119,7.515481416447178,22.76880304360549,8.313332769828598,1.1361229733684517,783,22,168,14,17,254,125,201,0.151,0.782,0.067,-0.9428,1,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,0,12,15,3,0,16,0,12,8,2,3,0,29,32,13,0,1,6,0,5,2,0,1,6,1,0,0,13,10,1,0,7,0,0,6,2,11,0,1,3,8,16,4,22,27,4,31,0,4,1,0,2,12,2,4,15,102,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625222180517355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161454106825732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341640068781152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13537923501551902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693649807660975,0.25395300193714404,0.09270367505660254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562231966813932,0.0,0.130999382232943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961519407351222,0.0,0.13098221000515992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10044428372020832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30757531000718685,0.10864260559008328,0.0,0.0,0.13899404466721885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3457115294376551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675280585938478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15836299510788135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741526289088438,0.14859259377445236,0.0,0.0,0.2691636625786151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2854246841519593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742331414868004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12987145242339884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118430352178665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12579823752820415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12144750965461293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434167947663006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744369456300422,0.0,0.1207307799812,0.1773526295685967,0.17478815541512518,0.0,0.0,0.16896122414671516,0.0,0.0,0.1485554445558687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13722428030518966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979314899840916
bipolarreddit,ohmymystery,2019/08/11,"Anyone here seen Hamilton? Was he bipolar? Maybe the answer to “Why do you write like you’re running out of time” is that he was experiencing a manic episode?

There’s so much about him that seems like classic symptoms and even though there’s no strong evidence for depressive episodes, I don’t think they would have been noteworthy enough to make history...  Seeing the musical raised my suspicions, but digging into his life later really felt confirming for me (or as close as you can get for a dead guy with no official diagnosis). 

Maybe I’m reaching, but it would be pretty helpful to the BP and mental health community at large to have a hero, especially at this moment when we’re being scrutinized and demonized more than ever.",7.6127611940298525,8.233928447761194,7.497723880597018,71.14121268656717,63.02985074626866,11.177611940298505,34.660447761194035,10.9516,3.974331343283581,588,24,100,15,8,188,105,134,0.094,0.7609999999999999,0.145,0.8121,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,1,2,9,5,0,0,6,0,13,4,0,1,1,19,21,11,1,2,3,0,1,2,0,2,4,0,0,1,4,7,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,5,4,8,4,17,12,3,11,1,1,2,0,10,5,0,2,7,67,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14473931073081012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17828891707673894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21388647902341426,0.0,0.13672164006332765,0.18724347741739306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19875259615058966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814902942208117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20496268290299016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22003146882876776,0.0,0.0,0.13874783032235918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14621032045172064,0.20225962463625596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13817420068906644,0.0,0.4159189262481821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086074539510312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15216892048348848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21059356005514632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326095900879276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16495231101038108,0.1884451528789273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21515240417478868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13263733127506508,0.20337658634186928,0.0,0.12070344615979338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867854293440563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29409392035854226,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,drifting_shadow,2019/08/11,I feel unstoppable right now I love feeling like a god. It's like I have an endless stream of motivation coursing through my veins. Music and alcohol help amplify this feeling. Time to take the world by the horns. I can't wait to be the best version of myself to ever exist.,2.984444444444442,5.196809296296298,4.355333333333334,83.07300000000002,76.4074074074074,7.282962962962964,29.31851851851852,8.238735603445708,2.2831674074074058,218,10,41,4,5,72,44,54,0.028999999999999998,0.593,0.37799999999999995,0.9628,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,5,0,3,3,1,1,1,7,9,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,6,4,7,8,2,5,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,5,27,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3426752630658564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33650035874441275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900445296035039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4863878837587166,0.2290710396217381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21492363704423095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31330489315060545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893973949675091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738316930289877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410874375439132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18697246358492967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wmbkylee,2019/08/11,"How do you cope with being in remission - knowing it won't last? I'm in my 30s and I've been dealing with bipolar disorder since I was 14. I will have years of feeling totally normal and fine and then depression will come roaring back for no apparent reason (hypomania hasn't been an issue since I went on lithium a long time ago). This last episode I just came out of, I had to go on leave from work, had ECT, hospitalized for a month, attempted suicide, the works. Lasted over a year and nothing helped, then in June all of a sudden I was just... better.

When I was younger, when I came out of an episode I always felt like, you know, this time I just finally figured it out and now if I can keep doing things the way I'm doing them I won't be bipolar any more. I would think to myself, now that I have the right diagnosis, I'm on the right meds, or doing the right kind of therapy, this isn't going to happen again. But I've hit a point where I just can't believe that any more, and it's really wrecking me. I know my chances of having another life-altering episode are virtually 100%. Chances that I will eventually die by suicide, also pretty damn high. What do I do with my life now? Is it ok for me to take on positions of responsibility, at work or in my community, knowing I will get sick again? Is there anything I can do to protect my friends and family, and especially my partner? And since the wait times for therapy are stupidly long if you're not in crisis, who can I talk to about this feeling of loss? I'm angry and sad because I don't want to get sick again but I feel like I have no control over my life.",4.8020481927710845,4.802768481927714,6.024963855421689,81.43298795180725,69.0,9.290602409638556,31.057831325301212,9.120678840339163,2.3985922891566265,1264,48,270,22,20,426,171,332,0.107,0.8190000000000001,0.07400000000000001,-0.8818,1,0,0,0,0,2,42.0,0,2,1,7,18,12,2,0,13,1,38,6,0,3,2,50,65,22,3,5,11,0,4,2,2,7,6,0,0,1,14,19,0,4,11,0,0,6,9,5,0,0,11,4,37,7,40,44,4,54,0,3,0,0,9,21,1,4,28,184,51,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927427571712833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053859611720353,0.08379966744768798,0.0,0.0,0.13697394495310894,0.10560432471206382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287661899941433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744058652218516,0.0,0.06139252574882225,0.0,0.0,0.11346687395164218,0.0,0.08907074596279747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23037323958244826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867536582762796,0.0,0.0,0.11295601436933668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382867784321226,0.08674228605791075,0.0,0.10452217722646302,0.0,0.11542359683438035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494142174464576,0.0,0.1527676097613349,0.07194799944053877,0.09669840858714916,0.11032404052756928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780911302636485,0.0,0.10523474146155444,0.0,0.11447282947362687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08905845534522758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750449879369852,0.10640676143215556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511617824134864,0.0,0.08951661509990542,0.0,0.10487506831724873,0.22139265302741126,0.2462788602155267,0.0,0.10663846812590004,0.0,0.0,0.2134055944001798,0.09840467094548727,0.0,0.0,0.17825223299308687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11186728095026026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038660507766103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09867545314771962,0.09663497564794417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520450181571932,0.0,0.0,0.10245935152769303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645180821446027,0.1035477402819744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25802007791187115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499276818925857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203231011864124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07572218142534826,0.08094773297088839,0.0,0.0,0.2303437421000969,0.0,0.06690795140591903,0.06453157896779126,0.0,0.0,0.17617628218239553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059401990914527227,0.07993974955132721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336015907516668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21995654747809812,0.0,0.0,0.07154224554702113,0.0,0.0,0.12970923788723446
bipolarreddit,Avalolo,2019/08/11,"Differentiating mania and hypomania I'm diagnosed with bipolar 1, but don't know if I agree with my diagnosis because I believe I've only experienced hypomania. What is mania like for you especially compared to hypomania?",7.709649122807015,10.334215578947378,11.086842105263159,38.13622807017546,64.26315789473685,13.487719298245615,44.24561403508772,12.45797560212912,7.433129824561405,184,12,23,8,3,70,31,38,0.07200000000000001,0.84,0.08800000000000001,0.1494,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,4,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,14,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3131141046932838,0.0,0.0,0.5787036486342264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5213403283621054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28228665253961543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509417071940923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3906512663634177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dontmakeeyecontact,2019/08/11,"Shit I should probably say to a licensed professional I've essentially surrendered myself to bipolar depression. I'm non-functioning. I'm off my meds, I never found a combination that worked, though it wasn't for lack of trying. I'm smoking and drinking again. I lay in bed all day, to the point where my parents half-joked I might get bed sores... 

I dropped out of college. Can't keep a job. Can't fucking brush my teeth or unload the dishwasher. I was able to effectively numb myself there for awhile, but today nothing can touch the absolute despair that grips me. . Grief over my lost potential, cause I used to be quite bright, and now I'm just sick. So sick. This illness just consumes me; it's so easy to give in to the depression and self-destruction. Once I let myself go like that, it's as if I've removed myself from reality, and that's when my relationships start to fall apart. Because my perception of time is fucked and I can go months without responding to a message or visiting a loved one.

When I'm not numb, I'm just so sad. So so sad because throughout the day, I close my eyes and fantasize about ways I can end my life and how awful is that?  That suicide is something that crosses my mind so frequently, that it appeals to me. Sometimes I feel like this is a terminal illness, that there's no way I'm surviving it. Today is just one of those days.",3.902308373163393,5.518103252788105,4.846606479022835,83.12998760842629,72.23420074349444,8.39518498849354,29.9098955567357,8.976282227363876,2.465785838201452,1081,46,214,22,21,352,151,269,0.235,0.675,0.09,-0.9936,2,0,2,0,0,2,38.0,0,0,0,5,20,16,3,0,11,1,16,16,3,4,2,33,36,22,2,3,10,1,3,2,0,2,9,1,2,0,17,9,1,1,4,1,0,6,7,12,0,2,4,7,28,4,25,28,2,33,0,7,2,3,8,9,3,4,17,134,45,4,0.13321231875418674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624099861610235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684574638256947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577327756488456,0.0,0.2294711498901165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13049735791968786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179865749052143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735615094444677,0.09516690713507088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14606043172106975,0.0,0.24630528426707776,0.06959793841336548,0.12778939458702462,0.1514152612541894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321926713655452,0.11840522964504528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362186213368831,0.09409180029238087,0.13016162025833622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14541698209140716,0.0,0.12022931863182065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14796885556831516,0.0,0.0,0.14131721883001894,0.13450646737834335,0.0,0.1063288019099381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027415525021853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12782081260074676,0.0,0.0,0.14186677189344402,0.18053622949948755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479165153614605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259286992493116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362541039946736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14168769842350645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14302017702340314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10593578262429837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13896950098781508,0.0,0.13674053088871396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255335114202832,0.13175038947806136,0.0,0.0942883648542552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14571265548284382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308804268201036,0.0,0.0776771743306563,0.0,0.25253940414275194,0.0,0.0,0.09044242014783503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11505267252748418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114754762080432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284119215863557,0.0,0.09698015460410704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jessedale1222,2019/06/09,Can lamotragine treat depression at 100 mg? I’m already on this at 200 mg I’m asking for a friend who is on 100mg,-1.8761538461538485,0.0006371538461564796,1.468076923076925,96.11442307692309,100.53846153846158,5.676923076923077,18.03846153846154,7.1686216300943375,0.4298769230769235,90,3,22,2,4,32,19,26,0.129,0.664,0.20600000000000002,0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,5,0,4,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,10,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5958055761072083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5047442089348845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4650248355990982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4171341526443103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Zen_Hydra,2019/06/09,"I'm having to consider in-patient care for my 7-year-old  My spouse of 20+ years, who is bipolar, has been having to act as a stay at home parent recently for our 7-year-old (let's call her Seven), who is also bipolar. Without going into a lot of specifics, they regularly trigger each other in what amounts to an emotional feedback loop. Seven is often difficult for me to deal with, and I am neurotypical. My spouse is not a large person, and Seven is almost her size, and when I am not around Seven is willing to kick and punch my spouse (she hits me too, but I am big enough that I am unharmed). My spouse is covered in bruises because of Seven's violent outbursts, and even more problematic is the fact that getting hit like that triggers my spouses PTSD from childhood abuse. We are at the heartbreaking point where we have to consider in-patient treatment for Seven. We feel pretty lost right now. I adore my family, but it doesn't seem like there is any other option other than hospitalization. We can't continue like we have been, because it is killing my spouse by inches. We have worked actively with Seven's psychiatrist to try and find a med combination that works, but her age and changing physiology make that very difficult. I know that there aren't any great solutions, I have been adjacent to this illness for decades. I just needed to write this out and share it with someone instead of letting it continue to sit in my chest like a lump of lead on my heart.",9.024451718494273,7.313772007092197,8.770709219858158,70.81730769230772,61.19858156028369,11.655646481178398,38.71358428805237,10.389873798559362,3.9190815057283146,1174,48,214,21,13,380,160,282,0.141,0.758,0.10099999999999999,-0.9481,1,0,0,0,1,0,36.0,7,0,1,4,12,14,2,0,8,0,31,6,2,4,1,43,43,14,1,1,7,7,1,4,0,1,4,0,1,1,18,21,0,0,4,0,0,3,6,6,0,7,4,1,32,8,37,34,5,27,0,2,0,0,26,14,0,5,12,161,50,4,0.0,0.15820922165343212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13370932195892124,0.0,0.0,0.1067825473486856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18160766970914846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11886851231843935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16279524609763305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13634734163870102,0.0,0.13614101899724754,0.0,0.14125525480621662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376618322451236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502013848888254,0.0,0.1379704464583126,0.0,0.08819419444454472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587861412490658,0.0,0.06751592945965082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12204246322429756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697630347721245,0.0,0.07588722005792771,0.0,0.0,0.14721544155921965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15823169927929304,0.0,0.0,0.13393978979439305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14772929956712166,0.0,0.07338367129018293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27308350314902113,0.0,0.2609407648297403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457619321688423,0.11352100061251848,0.0,0.0,0.08913118886773598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14831985905808773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09900955557518198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802310148978151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14826739469270533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11659177650802027,0.0,0.0,0.1262274203060452,0.0,0.0,0.13584630330406847,0.0,0.0,0.15608745770779972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318431046616602,0.0,0.0,0.11403245365092166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12155916537746342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131381101935113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14232342006217086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065696262688196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11017484624331987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871653320501086,0.0,0.1944204110664597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579635759251261
bipolarreddit,ladytulips,2019/06/09,"can you have a hypomania episode without getting depressed afterwards? I was hypomanic for about a week, dreading the oncoming depression as it always happen after my hypomania, but to my surprise, i’m not depressed! I spent a whole day after my hypomanic episode just crying in bed, but after that day I woke up and i felt normal/baseline. It was the shortest crash ive ever had. 

a few more days have passed and I’m still not depressed. All my therapists have always said that depression after mania is unavoidable, so I’m really confused right now. Has anyone else here had a hypomanic/manic episode without depression afterwards? Is this a thing?",6.1643589743589775,8.256943042735042,7.028717948717951,67.8246153846154,67.2905982905983,9.986324786324786,36.07692307692308,10.25414643259724,4.399112820512821,524,27,79,14,9,174,73,117,0.21,0.7,0.09,-0.9542,0,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,7,9,0,2,8,0,12,0,0,0,2,13,21,6,0,0,7,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,6,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,4,8,0,0,8,2,10,1,12,13,4,17,0,6,0,0,2,3,0,1,13,63,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341899669393689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983986207774239,0.14419002089891464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545804781258406,0.2722691357082527,0.0,0.7272405866107479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11755819230574985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729437382568826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351186573875768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352332465740119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444319499233013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137881222051492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015243129615104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12017890475439595,0.13386228398688166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11238365647792402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16339328334175762,0.09349184432930224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11288159846459694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15711512152764345,0.0,0.2713089386240006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,luvpuppups,2019/06/09,"My bipolar is gonna ruin my relationship with an amazing dude This is very long and disjointed, I just need to get it out and don't want to talk to friends about it.  It's hard for others to grasp what goes on in a mind with a mental disorder, but y'all get it 💜

I keep messing up so much and don't know how much he can handle.  BF is great, he's super patient with me and I am generally pretty stable.  My hypomania usually manifests in the fun way and doesn't last too long... usually.

I have 3 hypomanic paths: the extra energy, extra talky one, the paranoid one and the angry at nothing and everything one.  Have seen angry in at least a year.  I can never really remember all the details of things when I get hypo.

Twice this past month I got into paranoid one and holy shit he is getting the brunt of it and it scares me so much that I'm hurting him.  Made the mistake of doubling up on lunesta last night and made it even worse.  Thanks to everything being documented in texts, I got to relive the Trainwreck this morning while also not remembering a damn thing.  

Thought I was asleep by 2 ish, but texts are showing I was up til 4.  All started with me seeing a mouse inside...but not actually sure if I did or the extra sleep meds messed with my head.  He was at a friend's house last night with a group of people I only know a few of.  

So...text chain consists of me freaking out about the mouse, then freaking out that he drove home after drinking and crashed or something.  8 rambly non related texts there.  He got back to me and said phone was outside...I then started panicking about other people hearing my distinct message tone and assuming he has a controlling bitch gf (which I so totally am not, I'm a pretty chill and trusting person).  He was like ""chill, it's fine.""

Then I decided that it's fine cause I already know his friends don't like me which morphed into me suddenly realizing he must be embarrassed of me....how the hell did I even get to that tangent?. I have absolutely no basis of these people not liking me nor him being embarrassed of me.

He was all confused about how I got there, so I said ""you didn't invite me out tonight, so obviously one of those,"" but in far more words and weird manicly phrased.  The thing is, I'm house-sitting, I couldn't go out anyway, so of course he wouldn't invite me, cause duh.  Which he kindly pointed out.

Then he didn't text back for like 15 minutes (of course not, he's hanging out with phone on silent probably, I'm not even a person who gets all tore up about that shit) so I decided he was hooking up. Like, what, no, of course he wasn't! In our year and a half together, there has been absolutely no reason for my mind to think that way.

At this point it's like 345, so I'm sure he was passed out, but I seemed to have really gone off the deep end because he wasn't responding because he was sleeping I'm sure.  I continued to tell him to ""go fuck his side piece or whatever reason he won't bring me out"" (back to the house-sitting, of course I couldn't go out thing).  Then ""is our sex life so terrible, you need someone else,""  blah,blah, whatever more bullshit,(not true, sex life is awesome, we had literally had hooked up 3 times in the previous 12 hours).  Asked him ""how and why he would do this and then said I hope he gets an std."" Like, shit man, where did I get all that, it's so out of character for me, I'm a really nice person and never wish bad things on to others. And I'm afraid this may be getting too close to his breaking point.

Anyway, we always text each other good morning😘, it's so sappy lol.  I went to do that this morning and that's when I saw the crazy texts and just cried.  So, I texted him ""good morning. What the fuck happened? Did we have a fight or something I don't remember, what are all my texts about? Give me a call whenever"" Cause I seriously don't even know if there was something else that happened that wasn't documented in text.  

Now, it's a waiting game.  1130 here, he's probably still sleeping. So...wish me luck.

Thanks for letting me have a place to get this out.",3.522152103559872,4.622268529126212,4.630563106796121,86.32430744336571,72.44660194174756,7.823430420711974,26.71877022653721,8.238735603445708,1.5658128478964404,3164,107,672,48,60,1038,329,824,0.155,0.7170000000000001,0.127,-0.9615,0,0,4,0,1,0,127.0,5,3,0,2,45,54,9,5,36,2,63,17,8,11,16,127,126,59,0,13,18,0,1,7,5,6,4,4,1,4,51,48,1,3,17,3,0,9,27,25,0,7,37,8,70,29,90,76,20,97,1,2,3,5,66,46,8,12,46,427,121,0,0.0,0.0,0.055778153555546224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06307548996825108,0.04570938822213082,0.0475601974322672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05343519692315942,0.0,0.0,0.13185337232626376,0.04772470567152548,0.06968621080273969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05836490818736403,0.0,0.0,0.1761516349201422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06410777641714711,0.0,0.0,0.06278559372052535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06550824389860986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055993271153755936,0.0,0.0,0.09549667577841904,0.0,0.05062519568584997,0.0,0.0,0.1510097959974696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10274020091331837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13248083997016882,0.10568366125126537,0.2986279798645675,0.05483134935259919,0.0974529589952357,0.0958831649226077,0.18285852149335946,0.06301711223042493,0.0,0.0,0.10108960687405773,0.0,0.05120251607747335,0.0,0.05866079863485104,0.0,0.06442144036302841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05733433039493666,0.05677098501533246,0.05628930884141025,0.06595288330188953,0.0611890303649273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05080483034467262,0.0,0.05952146478390916,0.12565059753500987,0.13977467419612472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05844812739734542,0.08074504757956462,0.1954722497522066,0.0,0.0,0.10116640855628603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10816893305672204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06348986971250888,0.0,0.0576020172265809,0.0,0.11542696679705194,0.0,0.04562312625870369,0.0,0.12605355100730511,0.0847641553016826,0.08816784798897137,0.0,0.0,0.1072781887879547,0.0,0.05484483006507873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936593623922792,0.043471383259507085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05456396510757372,0.11887888743689835,0.14972499462418784,0.059718148706192735,0.0,0.16209890948396036,0.0,0.0,0.11630086695704644,0.12325240414470592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985101080493118,0.11753628913981334,0.0,0.061366511017472584,0.19424727924036525,0.0,0.16311159880214465,0.0,0.05722532493752781,0.0,0.04554768144869222,0.0520346743934937,0.0,0.0,0.17601619862232873,0.0,0.0,0.1715984231383565,0.0,0.048429953489183934,0.13200951398010513,0.0,0.0,0.08091372981172174,0.0,0.04564660869211329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16161276821556966,0.0,0.0,0.04594159236005554,0.04995878214154418,0.10524717378349578,0.0,0.0,0.1898668261804566,0.03662466367470973,0.0,0.04537722252657273,0.03332940340011148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259033539996627,0.04716149730727948,0.03371338457313417,0.09073903004974301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052986219792514284,0.051576380972830765,0.0,0.13145820776697725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058249084288421835,0.04060354207357824,0.0,0.0,0.07361600768352435
bipolarreddit,stephenwinfield55,2019/06/09,"seroquel I have been taking 800 mg each night. This dose does not knock me out, I have built up a strong tolerence to it. I am diagnosed biplor with schitzo tendencies my shrink says I am in remision. I couldnt be happier no more manic swings, no paronia. Just good clean living. This medication has changed my life for the better",2.657619047619047,5.364434126984129,3.653333333333337,84.90000000000002,80.74603174603175,7.409523809523812,24.87301587301588,8.418075326091056,1.9880539682539684,262,10,49,6,7,84,54,63,0.040999999999999995,0.728,0.231,0.8957,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,2,0,8,4,0,0,0,6,9,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,1,8,3,6,6,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,33,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2986022888355981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3571629766862079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3426827421786228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954583215049945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28318422329844284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23847485220654674,0.0,0.0,0.29812947306276555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34012213813474995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3168386295268991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684933227572658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538523332753646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BipolarApostle,2019/06/09,"Currently off all my psyc meds, and just started a month and half course of Prednisone. This is awful. Just venting. I have this shitty suspected autoimmune skin nonsense happening. For over a year, just constant mouth sores and then a rash which freaked out my pdoc who took me off my lamactil, which was the only medication that was really starting to make me feel like I was living life for the first time...


Anyway, a few mood stablizers and antipsycotics later, and dozens of doctors appointments, some dozen specialists, and a student loan worth of new medical debt..

I finally saw an RA doctor who thinks it might be autoimmiune disorder, who put me on a wicked long course of predisone to try to at least get some nasty sores to heal.

Like, I have a mouth full of ulcers and one on my scrotum the size of a quarter. Have had for over a month.

I'm so miserable. The depression and anxiety are just murdering me. The pain, and the embarassment are just.. 

Anyway, the RA put me on a modified dose of steroids because of my bipolar history.. but its kicking my ass guys.

I'm in a hard, hard mixed mood.. and I'm angry, and amped up, and I'm so fucking tired, and depressed, and hopeless but I want to GO GO GO and do something.

If i could walk or sit for any length of time I'm sure I would have driven or walked halfway across the country.

I want to escape and I want to lock myself in my room for the next 2 months.

I have ambien and legal weed and a promise to call the psychiatrist first thing Monday morning.

What the hell though? This is so wrong.",4.188195868842989,5.750793770764122,4.763746930521453,84.21818431315907,71.42524916943522,8.424151379459772,28.3693485483172,8.964715089967882,2.2308135490394343,1219,46,240,24,23,389,173,301,0.205,0.737,0.057999999999999996,-0.9938,2,0,1,0,0,1,43.0,0,0,0,3,11,16,3,1,24,1,18,19,5,1,2,43,40,28,1,6,10,0,4,2,0,2,13,0,1,1,13,19,0,0,3,0,3,9,0,10,0,7,7,5,23,4,35,29,6,44,1,4,1,2,5,15,3,6,21,161,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13236570675362205,0.0,0.08307637684808357,0.0,0.09345587670613953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07447063901840363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474410529414455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320169454341898,0.0,0.09753879732206774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104410396496417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400116530345519,0.2500820709167785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06177028545128705,0.08727468741641495,0.0,0.13382576619822414,0.0,0.20782694224304185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11293955714516785,0.06382616082323991,0.0,0.208287523371099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12096253874524353,0.10803008996055667,0.0,0.21887165611189266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628873950174913,0.11936727864379745,0.0,0.10787391710647004,0.10811216459608852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154607398633157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13569775466970405,0.2461367335358951,0.0,0.1295977401308433,0.0,0.0,0.2925327688819665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179877006924918,0.12992384408886812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278215333058482,0.09291197363315816,0.12999215391991664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456190978314724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07826201556209132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404857144010302,0.0,0.0,0.17293800581289387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513904959490635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116098557334031,0.07827838753954804,0.1200264743650798,0.0,0.1424707666390077,0.1404106753984113,0.0,0.0,0.13572978982607706,0.08294200353052686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161682143752709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678249799488681,0.13356822983160335,0.0,0.07867024295085127
bipolarreddit,freestroke,2019/06/30,"Mental health “experts”: bipolar is completely manageable. Just follow these 30 simple “habits” every single day! -Make sure to avoid alcohol.
-Make sure to avoid marijuana.
-Make sure to avoid caffeine.
-Make sure to avoid nicotine.
-Make sure to avoid unhealthy foods.
-Make sure to not get too happy.
-Make sure to not get too depressed.
-Make sure to not spend too much money.
-Make sure to not isolate yourself.
-Make sure to not skip doctor appointments.
-Make sure to not open up about your bipolar disorder too soon with people.
-Make sure to always take your meds.
-Make sure to get at least 8 hours of sleep.
-Make sure to think hard about having kids (it may get passed down to them).
-Make sure to exercise regularly.
-Make sure to get sunlight exposure regularly.
-Make sure to stick to a daily routine.
-Make sure to keep a mood journal.
-Make sure to know your triggers.
-Make sure to join a support group.
-Make sure to practice mindfulness.
-Make sure to journal.
-Make sure to pay attention to your thoughts.
-Make sure to take a proactive role in your healthcare.
-Make sure to educate yourself about your disease.
-Make sure to develop coping skills.
-Make sure to manage your stress.
-Make sure to develop a crisis plan.
-Make sure to have a support system.
-Make sure to not give up.",1.6313533471359565,2.6053127260869573,1.2251138716356105,92.78161835748794,126.08695652173913,4.0690131124913735,19.73775017253278,5.916634753146586,0.5531518288474806,1037,37,178,15,63,300,102,230,0.10300000000000001,0.606,0.29100000000000004,0.9919,0,5,1,0,0,0,65.0,0,7,1,2,9,41,0,6,6,0,4,8,1,31,30,83,49,0,0,0,8,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,0,1,2,2,2,6,4,1,3,2,7,7,0,0,1,1,8,33,43,47,3,12,0,1,0,0,12,6,0,1,3,79,10,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030385473835269364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02365794499626317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029810717704973486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01833647649654605,0.0,0.024488691839848063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03258587042583742,0.029101656119680956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023955432678427768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03438044091029691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07427349657287091,0.02727484571320553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030266704027781918,0.025469749379326747,0.0,0.0,0.030222197338815007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028000080831125183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025271927929872144,0.0,0.0,0.015625644371348217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5693632800689667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03158186732966317,0.0,0.02865306346049145,0.0,0.028708510256493007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020901006424973532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.019711371637347392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028452825928896388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03256909495861514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06452925710798843,0.803912975042398,0.0,0.042755090985921916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.018218264967400408,0.0,0.022572064301156883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,buddyholly200,2019/06/30,"Bipolar depressive episode AT WORK I knew u wasn’t feeling good I haven’t been feeling like myself fully the past few days. I expected what usually came first my manic episode, but instead a depressive episode hit me like a damn train a few minutes after starting work. I had to hold back my tears so I don’t upset customers and I have been speaking very little than usual. I refuse to look people in the eye and I feel like if I get a moments rest to think I’ll starting bursting to tears and having a panic attack. I keep trying to think of things that usually make me happy or sing songs in my head that will calm me. Had anyone had a similar experience with a depressive or mania episode at the worst possible times?",4.129897567221509,5.757886816901412,4.983982074263763,82.32241357234321,71.67605633802816,7.698847631241997,29.810499359795127,8.296473431620573,2.237907042253521,576,24,107,9,11,187,90,142,0.235,0.635,0.13,-0.9619,0,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,0,0,0,3,3,14,2,2,10,0,11,3,2,1,0,20,25,8,0,2,4,0,3,3,0,1,1,2,0,0,4,5,0,3,6,2,0,1,3,8,0,1,8,7,17,6,13,15,4,18,0,3,2,0,2,5,1,3,15,70,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012411687834888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647205594924444,0.0,0.11133527013177204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16560222495664784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933781568108394,0.0,0.3741245882998936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14163329031665875,0.0,0.0,0.219631899292121,0.206877305890708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231590715919816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564727292266091,0.0,0.0,0.12144374329690236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413261295788486,0.0,0.0,0.14859724283720235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869681094905802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21221257057767734,0.14511852682580256,0.0,0.0,0.12158789542167266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966490547927396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16988093250943764,0.0,0.0,0.13821930423623113,0.10037978409078012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16322999249411285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20496749852554624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09619264494603773,0.1855523337068364,0.0,0.0,0.0844287422933757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983035215795324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4784001847152906,0.11946766206780385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21081900960474104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Steponmee19,2019/06/30,"Do you ever doubt your diagnosis? I've been diagnosed with bp1 since I was 18, three years ago. I've been hospitalized twice in 2017, and haven't been since. 

Everyone around me is convinced I have bipolar, but my nurse practitioner sometimes mentions that he doubted my diagnosis. This makes me wonder too. Are my feelings situational, and not biological? Am I simply overreacting to things and acting out? What is the reason behind my behavior?

At the moment I am feeling fine and I'm ready to start looking for a job. I'm questioning if I've ever been manic or depressed. The problem is, I never remember how I used to feel, just how I acted. My therapist told me I had been in a manic episode for two weeks (I quit my job and couldn't function) and was wanting me to go back on medication. Part of me wonders if I could have just sucked it up and bed more self aware.

I guess I shouldn't focus on it. Just focus on living a fulfilling life. Not the diagnosis.

Do you ever wonder if there's actually anything wrong with you, despite evidence saying otherwise?",3.7449480021893815,5.964040837438425,5.432963875205257,76.19790777230432,74.1231527093596,8.254953475643132,28.51915708812261,8.998388855275968,2.625570552818829,842,35,151,19,18,286,124,203,0.115,0.84,0.045,-0.9438,2,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,4,0,1,12,8,1,2,7,0,22,4,0,5,4,46,39,14,0,8,10,0,3,0,0,1,4,1,1,1,6,11,0,0,9,0,0,3,6,6,0,3,9,5,27,2,19,27,2,22,0,1,1,0,10,9,1,11,10,112,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.1282412275425616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649069115553112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814262619688884,0.11698643107331147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10104934904252888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492348412256416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318679176198701,0.13338256881755522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3566147941452361,0.0,0.12557182636035982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993407877501491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468567466268207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447674724804599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260816479517841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09282168160401834,0.0,0.0,0.11604107841709815,0.0,0.1103547660078376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771994769333208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323859036720477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10135467324704396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14230868922890955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12574556805164805,0.0,0.0,0.1472138935356458,0.13977509612320435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351156056562252,0.0,0.0,0.14886658395017358,0.0,0.0,0.10450578535716852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370935908684576,0.0,0.0,0.21741424143887786,0.14771498052946344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12997192810995975,0.0,0.09301559279628203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15258192579515364,0.08730570414004264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12557182636035982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283725031620105,0.0,0.0,0.11349960893353522,0.0,0.0,0.0775114546946721,0.0,0.1054124828652714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4275390326261046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436807140008125,0.0,0.08462638676911792
bipolarreddit,InducedMania,2019/06/30,Someone talk to me Someone talk to me. I need this and am so out there and can't talk to anyone in my life.,-1.814533333333333,-0.06536631999999898,0.8760000000000012,103.62466666666668,92.2,3.333333333333334,16.333333333333336,3.1291,-1.3216666666666668,82,2,22,0,3,28,18,25,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,5,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,16,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21868280415313934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22090531391279625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319009387791877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5299858950615277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7541323352581902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Soulflower1994,2019/04/29,"Patterns ?? I’m wondering if anyone else notices patterns in their life... 


I have been having insomnia for the last threee days ... anxiety so intense that I felt I couldn’t breathe if I laid down. 

Last night I managed to sleep and this morning I couldn’t get out of bed. 

I’m a parent of a toddler so I had shit to do and I got up and did it but my body felt heavy as ever and I dropped him off and went right back home to bed grateful as duck tat I didn’t have to work today. 

I didn’t eat today 
I took a nap from 2-5 and now I’m walking to get my kid. 

Body heavy as ever.

We will be buying dinner tonight. 

This turned into a vent but I’m looking at my bank account and realizing I’ve been in a manic state I suddenly have so much stuff in my apartment and although it’s stuff I like I am honestly scared and it feels like my ability to disassociate is stronger than me. 

Like I’m already have a breakdown of some kind and the performance ability of my brain won’t let me 


Is that crazy ??",0.7596389076957806,2.68389997630332,2.868855788761003,92.39022116903635,82.41232227488152,5.914782216204017,23.791694877002932,7.07126945348624,0.7925448431505306,769,29,175,10,21,260,121,211,0.051,0.7879999999999999,0.161,0.9757,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,1,2,7,7,1,1,8,0,21,10,6,0,2,27,37,21,0,4,4,1,3,3,0,2,2,0,3,1,9,13,2,0,5,1,3,3,5,2,0,0,11,4,26,5,25,20,2,28,0,0,1,0,5,11,1,4,15,113,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15239489989153573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564481583060943,0.0,0.0,0.09656153711585463,0.14149802044746626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061890626936946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067921420454949,0.0,0.15416336636464206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906197412618655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14130902958394964,0.11536340306315453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24983562382672805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982664611691235,0.09865744781114932,0.2651920351584531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14430131615047104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104498200938328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385238473023767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14380812058229211,0.0,0.22513708036948785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14121486060670482,0.0975429080996343,0.20240355041840688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159677848218724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151813483811294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12959589254966303,0.0,0.0,0.15722582140950486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15334181107691505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179351873054595,0.0,0.0,0.13826048231261898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14175591280564634,0.0,0.0,0.13819802551343974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3161790105498342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618020679090733,0.0,0.15343228434944675,0.0,0.15021128640200054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12801850076750212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14976170742220676,0.1005372017395946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,The13Rooster,2019/04/29,how much does vraylar cost you guys? I just started it but I was given ~1 month worth free and a card to get my first refill free. I saw online without insurance it runs 1000-1300 USD. I can't find any information with insurance.,1.7028260869565202,4.1191227608695655,3.1327826086956527,88.98830434782612,82.26086956521739,6.288695652173913,22.243478260869566,7.554174236665415,0.9867182608695648,181,6,37,3,5,59,40,46,0.0,0.762,0.23800000000000002,0.9052,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,8,6,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,4,1,2,0,0,1,3,1,6,4,3,3,1,4,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,3,20,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637410345618917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3393969385994735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3544740765938742,0.3298921717376194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20262773036452286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3840175308829609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095661207006701,0.0,0.28510327974606325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745115416598433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37385900812535466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jingjang1,2019/04/29,"In one hour i will get on the buss to the future. My first job interview after more then a year of sick leave. Wish my luck comrades. I am about to start the cycle again. Hopefully the wheel will keep going this time around, with not to many bumps on the road, or an accident and crash.",2.397931034482756,4.154205000000005,2.971931034482761,94.41617241379312,76.58620689655173,6.708965517241379,18.49655172413793,7.554174236665415,0.14089931034482728,222,4,50,3,5,69,48,58,0.154,0.72,0.126,-0.2263,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,7,0,3,1,0,0,0,9,9,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,4,2,11,7,1,15,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,3,9,34,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.268051207284042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561235040961721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15731723506701736,0.0,0.1711274126108652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990695780982596,0.29653210776766736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29880462021496856,0.2676398722416269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188313806705684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3052776733260394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040395240272641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21312678501714094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17557931415926595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3462609528776466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19390458306513256
bipolarreddit,bootybinz88,2019/04/29,"I think my 14 year old daughter may be bipolar I made this post on the parenting sub a few days ago because my daughter refused to go to school for days. (Wasn't the first time either)
https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/bghi3w/14_year_old_daughter_acting_out_and_refuses_to_go/

But it is much worse than this. The day after I posted that, she snuck out of the house and drove around in a 25 year old drug dealers car all night drinking heavily and taking a bunch of Xanax. She came home at 3am entirely wasted. I woke up early to take her for her first therapy session (coincidentally-it was already scheduled) I woke up to my couch being entirely soaked with 4 Loko, my living room in shambles, coffee table broken...etc. I had no idea what had happened at the time, but once we got in the car, she was puking on the side of the road not even a mile away. She puked at least 5 times while we were at therapy, so I just finished the session for her. 
I then brought her to the ER to get a rape test (as she was just blackout drunk and with a 25 year old hours earlier) she got an IV and medicine and lied to the doctors about her night so there was no rape test. (She told me she lied the next day so they didn't put her in the psych ward) I still don't know all she lied about either. She also told me that she feels like she can do anything. Like she is so impulsive, someone can literally challenge her to do *anything* and she will do it in a second no questions asked, no matter what it is, or the risk.
The next few days were ok, but tonight she had another meltdown.
Since her phone and computers were taken away from the 4 Loko night, I made her stop watching tv so we can all go to bed. If I allow her to keep watching it, she will stay up literally all night. She also can't be trusted to turn it off by a certain time if I am not awake to make her.
Once I took away the remote, she then got into my bed and refused to get up. Literally would not budge. She was kicking and screaming. I asked my 19 year old son to help me remove her from my bed, and she was hanging onto the door frame, it was so bad. Finally got her into her room and she kept punching and kicking her brother really hard, then started crying on floor and left to sit in dark in backyard. She won't speak.
What is going on with her?
I feel she may be bipolar. This isn't typical teenage behaviour. She is constantly in trouble.
In 6th grade, she stole her father's car as well in the middle of the night. Does this type of behaviour sound like it could be manic to anyone?",3.696331360946744,5.175916581854047,4.259092702169628,87.6814201183432,72.53057199211045,6.8568047337278095,25.03155818540434,7.321109707123232,0.9581463510848128,2005,61,419,21,39,635,238,507,0.149,0.8029999999999999,0.048,-0.9955,2,0,2,0,0,0,69.0,3,0,1,3,17,14,2,1,29,1,42,10,0,4,5,62,76,33,0,4,13,6,3,3,0,6,6,3,9,0,16,24,2,5,6,3,0,13,13,6,2,3,31,8,71,8,67,33,11,98,0,0,2,2,62,39,0,6,45,283,87,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06818914278470589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488836611877991,0.12303337744720733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066229962246288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053787568491575864,0.0,0.12660501720274314,0.06847932974902282,0.14382850017734175,0.0,0.2168199831425108,0.0,0.06422894677464522,0.046892608991472136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798141234680931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312831854395816,0.0,0.06141814740158006,0.0,0.08449821744413957,0.2480504751886693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07873573345046801,0.06731736048114023,0.0,0.0,0.07535696201933041,0.08920827922141332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579142193907975,0.050808066875928634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779092219802243,0.05495505135734808,0.0,0.08426729527279431,0.0,0.13086429321612034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803800059288162,0.0,0.13115431155128596,0.0,0.24609497489881305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06802429567687812,0.0,0.06890945965184057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05156103334222137,0.0,0.0771617887104845,0.0,0.07575537597738614,0.08876082464263098,0.0,0.08683867088384335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06837424554405963,0.0,0.0,0.042275826679920483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357895772144938,0.0,0.0,0.11274463058729273,0.0,0.06792595688620441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145576102486381,0.051347862897829014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05654853675527784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636206725182706,0.3609432986955517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3228783081541767,0.16384468025718388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541582303133838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14734527855701787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773306128916327,0.08617331656820552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049279959766838126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785194614816557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363294185073706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651780846248624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054447728616541735,0.0819915402603572,0.061432198666822875,0.06431252912765976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11567566579970165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759402940371704,0.0,0.0,0.04929026885975602,0.0,0.0,0.17942174367718952,0.0,0.0,0.14700977584536046,0.08546621926039921,0.0,0.08367203026047036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916458172853633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839288439373382,0.05464512993868327,0.0,0.0,0.19814804817489085
bipolarreddit,Gothamqueen_,2019/04/29,"I'm in a bad place. Should I check myself in somewhere? I did TMS therapy about two years ago and while it lifted a lot of my depression, it left me with almost crippling anxiety, social anxiety, and dark, terrifying intrusive thoughts. My obsessions always have something to do with me being a  terrible and defective person. My therapist says it has to do with my parents having abused me in the past and that being a kind of brainwashing, especially since my mom has done a number of messed up things including calling me ""the  personification of evil."" For a while, one of my biggest fears and obsessions was that I would hurt children and that I was a fucked up creep. I have no idea where this obsession came from, but it started when I nannied over the summer. I've never been violent and used to love being around kids. It's like my anxiety morphed into a monster and took something I loved and completely twisted it into something unrecognizable and unlovable. I was a music teacher before I lost my job and often times felt really uncomfortable in the same room with a kid when my anxiety was terrible. Which was pretty  traumatic honestly.  Social anxiety was so bad and I was so afraid of facing a coworker I had an awkward conversation with that I literally was afraid to leave my practice room.  I would just sit there shaking and pretending to be on my phone. I barely talked to anyone when I was there and avoided eye contact, although I tried to be friendly and attentive, and cried quietly in that room because I just felt this overwhelming sadness, emptiness, and fear for no reason. A few months into working there, those intrusive thoughts died down, but were replaced by a numbness and disturbing level of depersonalization.  Not feeling real when I cried and like I was acting, which is another thing my mom has hurt me with. That I'm not real, my emotions aren't real, and I'm an actress. The intrusive thoughts felt more detached and less scary as if my brain didn't have as much energy to be disgusted by them and as a result, I started feeling an overwhelming amount of apathy toward everything that scared the shit out of me. It finally convinced me to get on medicine after years of avoiding it. I was terrified that I'd become a cold person and depression had completely destroyed me. More recently, my intrusive thoughts have become about the fear that I'm a sociopath and an actress and my mom was right.  I'm currently on medicine, seeing a therapist, and powering through but am genuinely concerned for myself. I feel like a terrible person who deserves to be dead. My brain creates false memories of me manipulating friends and people that feel so incredibly real and painful that I honestly don't know how the fuck I'm going to wake up and deal with this level of anxiety, shame, and self loathing everyday. I am a nice person but have had a shitty ten years of depression, fear, and having very little friends because I isolate myself and rarely let anyone in. I didn't used to be like this and people see me a lot differently and more positively than I see myself. It's like a funhouse mirror in my mind. I don't know how to fix this. Nothing seems to help. No amount of lists of positive things about me or affirmations like my therapist suggests has helped. I'm in pain. I'm afraid I'll always be in pain and I feel incredibly lost. I feel like I don't deserve help, but I still want to ask for it. I'm not suicidal, I just don't want to be this person with this pain and with this life. I need a break from all the dark shit in my mind right now and I don't know how else to get it. I need a way out.",6.338096244840429,6.968770112554116,6.939504681365148,74.0146390818484,65.76767676767679,10.429195610590961,34.298097251585624,10.3657114227393,3.646048786872045,2900,126,521,69,43,954,290,693,0.268,0.605,0.127,-0.9988,5,2,3,0,1,1,64.0,0,0,1,4,24,65,8,19,37,0,57,17,7,8,2,115,106,60,3,8,13,4,9,7,3,3,6,2,3,9,37,53,0,2,20,3,1,5,15,48,0,3,32,16,72,17,83,60,12,69,0,10,4,4,34,37,4,7,31,373,109,2,0.0,0.06551147620334151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04901264601279359,0.0,0.05536652650289285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201404107981646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05797803838737198,0.2537874257582551,0.0,0.0,0.07732231105148267,0.0,0.0,0.04922122512639967,0.05169015973701447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233231284280984,0.06741046305192319,0.1221304032860314,0.04704905875092631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12344736965494432,0.05645888105510985,0.06323883308923152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594433091959198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214703998663718,0.0,0.05700318700126266,0.1428676601432623,0.0,0.057383926464095826,0.05776792869802291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05658247906344927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04618901688000461,0.0621955809466544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04969250327887055,0.0,0.0,0.248873579849874,0.1677424928806524,0.07900062587080109,0.15926575148365285,0.06056921886672219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281544033607537,0.10223234209328404,0.057775132758802424,0.0,0.0314234768302763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118233367011712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183815513308344,0.06241745917952673,0.0,0.0,0.05486835754044714,0.0,0.0,0.057577667897166125,0.09116041249425544,0.0,0.0,0.058545795500623936,0.060074459094658465,0.0565393825691833,0.039054075288263684,0.18908869800507766,0.05541668476069405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12071457340900253,0.09401384132332828,0.099805612117382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165745978775944,0.1942704766316697,0.04413320844322133,0.0,0.040645670283297936,0.08199600599989734,0.042644272021420265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053053758384946435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03746700284840426,0.0,0.2353365407994668,0.0,0.061394751820599024,0.0,0.05278206565517432,0.07666443386629287,0.24139235729704334,0.05776792869802291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056251410462730966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25173567337475977,0.035421199401240784,0.05684894891722288,0.05459376086520076,0.0,0.0,0.09443740757571617,0.0,0.043970080469015085,0.0553565132599211,0.0,0.13218068231988542,0.05033537417539651,0.0576811724027566,0.0,0.11351201638592545,0.04573776302673176,0.0,0.0,0.11272559737994706,0.0,0.12769846949847874,0.0,0.0,0.07827132414052745,0.0,0.044155924009062715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0604800099476959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044441274373498936,0.0,0.0,0.06323073585377853,0.1925933439684924,0.11019979869980594,0.0,0.0,0.17558134082998056,0.032240962603142825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0614309753663787,0.03753935066318784,0.0,0.05401183556251138,0.0,0.0,0.0955083380494774,0.0,0.045621340794450974,0.06522480814908048,0.04388787941024819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04025292584058402,0.0,0.0,0.07855509838168863,0.0,0.0,0.10681788639708643
bipolarreddit,xohxblue,2019/04/29,Hi Let's be friends Hiya! I'm new I'm 19 f US and have BPD 1 I would like to make some friends(: maybe we can all become a support system for each other and talk to each other about our experiences and stuff.,-0.2426086956521729,1.6904886521739149,1.8501739130434809,98.18395652173916,86.3913043478261,4.5495652173913035,17.895652173913042,5.6839178017228535,-0.6317599999999999,162,4,40,1,5,54,37,46,0.0,0.807,0.193,0.8221,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,1,1,10,9,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,4,6,4,2,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,1,2,24,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849871221875309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.324994873244407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524145961506193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3987252273173976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26386543391516515,0.0,0.12606628987834062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17224504266832708,0.0,0.25923787813107896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492185772612729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953963607483051,0.0,0.2928230103610101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20740438988624055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31039276122543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18330563740565595,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,EmboarsFlamingBeard,2018/11/22,"Can a psychotic episode last for a few hours? I think I just had one. I was extremely sad and suicidal, to the point where it got dangerous. I called people from the psych office and my mom and took more meds and after about 3 hours of hell I calmed down a bit and feel almost normal now, just very tired. And I have a headache.

Should I go to the doctor tomorrow?",2.7492342342342373,4.286684554054059,3.5713513513513497,91.4247747747748,75.08108108108108,7.636036036036036,21.792792792792795,8.344100000000001,0.9375387387387386,283,7,63,5,6,90,55,74,0.249,0.718,0.033,-0.9572,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,2,0,7,0,5,2,0,0,0,13,10,6,1,2,2,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,1,4,1,8,1,8,5,3,11,1,1,0,0,2,3,1,1,6,42,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22230845538610688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24237470479286485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22669449273711645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22723409685550805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11225366917007902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12617198582314615,0.0,0.17755968894666566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4372653606637221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809657540718748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466002989710664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600125160753506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21752022611645055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504380364323636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15391205618592874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098688589882384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428401859832431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14225345008258453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551649776096704,0.0,0.0,0.2466585156980741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831794487618376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,brenteattheskittles,2018/11/22,"What are you grateful for today? I’m grateful for my dad, he came to get me from a bus stop at 11:50pm instead of being on a cozy couch. And I know I can always rely on him to save me from any situation, even though I argue with him just about anything! I think it helps to think about people, things or situations every day that made a small or big difference that day. ",4.080394736842109,4.611571513157898,5.088000000000001,85.65700000000002,70.71052631578948,7.658947368421052,25.72631578947368,7.554174236665415,1.127887368421053,289,8,62,3,5,95,57,76,0.057999999999999996,0.7879999999999999,0.154,0.8172,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,6,2,1,0,3,0,3,0,0,1,0,12,10,4,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,10,1,14,7,0,10,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,2,4,42,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901827741947672,0.0,0.0,0.15543071731069444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1880879220317983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614152486426994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29480852792760304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387997486110935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15096374428578335,0.0,0.1925742343444873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194147642967746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320099998281206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12561227932490526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162718920554615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584568457559143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5138289075793433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910889509988382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15184713975159606,0.2929079573955239,0.2245620441651264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166510539596912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,aliyva,2018/11/22,"Worried that I might have bipolar disorder. How would I find out for sure? I'm 24 and have been suffering from depression since I was around 17. I've tried different antidepressants (citalopram, sertraline, mirtazapine, venlafaxine) but they never seem to work for me, even on a high dosage. Suffered for a long time with suicidal thoughts and had one attempt when I was 20 that had me in the psych ward for a week so I always just accepted that I had depression.

However recently my boyfriend and another friend have told me they are concerned that I might have bipolar disorder. It's something I didn't really know anything about until recently when they encouraged me to look into it and I'm very worried because what I've seen described as 'manic' episodes definitely fits into what I've been experiencing for years. 

Between these depressive stages I've had stages (which are hard to describe) where I've been really overactive and excited, but in a stressful way, where I can't even keep up with myself and my thoughts, spend all my money, behave very impulsively (often with bad outcomes!), overestimate my abilities MASSIVELY!

I have no idea if what I'm experiencing is normal or if I do have bipolar disorder. I'll only know for sure if I see a doctor but I'm so scared to find out, in case I do have it. When my boyfriend mentioned it, I decided that if I did have it, I'd prefer not to know. But I really am struggling and it's affecting my work at university - my grades are all over the place depending on whether or not I was feeling depressed or as I call it 'too overexcited to think' during that part of the semester. 

Anyone got any advice?",7.245319757056091,7.499748517684889,7.5772722400857475,71.51091729188997,63.82315112540193,11.669953554841015,36.891925687745626,11.319583603955671,4.378474669524831,1323,61,236,37,18,433,167,311,0.18600000000000005,0.73,0.084,-0.9884,2,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,3,3,15,16,0,3,8,0,31,4,0,3,5,58,49,28,1,7,15,0,2,0,1,3,4,0,0,0,18,15,0,1,14,0,2,0,6,10,0,1,17,7,33,6,35,29,3,32,0,6,3,0,8,18,0,12,11,165,51,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213784010729207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697080600012963,0.0,0.0,0.07107864957236143,0.10960059290260342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308432099082407,0.0,0.08601282764569709,0.09304687787472513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727163347634713,0.06371573550804221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672880646485236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3600991155464756,0.0,0.0,0.10920340549910107,0.359374334786708,0.10698285455761412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13807179512363318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052849542073861513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910627120618941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075355762339413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359591558108144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936313205771352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110433395352017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799279043977093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290409380803508,0.0,0.0,0.17232792858325569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092498817995962,0.08777228556695106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217629777710429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061392947136271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240951968028336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082691723773536,0.07949380877579855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318730818360148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920340549910107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008787066798848,0.0,0.20640603670068985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10464491112603147,0.0,0.08329062495317477,0.09515304427407888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646180666333851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08046626135846567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972977533310385,0.1092692505296382,0.0,0.11433027286529565,0.0,0.19702178811231774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06697357646190352,0.0,0.16595783155878038,0.060947709086769775,0.0,0.0,0.09987539823773728,0.0,0.07096368218556799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17248344853187092,0.0,0.08296482148055641,0.08384136800865331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218674728924406,0.2122946439227083,0.0,0.07424953997780187,0.0,0.0,0.06730884088387018
bipolarreddit,CarlyroseHop,2018/11/22,"Something that my therapist recommended that as helped with some self hate. Wanted to share. Hi everyone, and Happy Thanksgiving.

I have been rapid cycling these past few months and have had some pretty bad episodes with self hate. It's debilitating as I'm sure most of you can relate. As I was talking to my therapist about this she asked, ""If you saw yourself as a younger child, would you say those things to her?"". My answer was obviously no. To be honest with myself I kind of blew it off as a cliche/corney thing to say. 

Fast forward a month later. I was cleaning out some drawers and found a picture of myself in 3rd grade. Now I have never seen this picture before. I stared at it for a good 5 minutes. Thinking of what my therapist said, I started to get emotional. I really connected with that girl I saw in that picture. I now keep it in my wallet as a reminder when I'm feeling suicidal and have intrusive thoughts, I look at that picture. It hasn't made it go away but it has helped to a degree. I just wanted to share and maybe it could help someone else.",2.7251435406698548,4.999814373205744,3.785978468899522,86.53159928229665,77.51674641148325,6.668038277511961,25.761004784689003,7.734863291789972,1.4957328229665072,840,32,164,13,20,271,124,209,0.055999999999999994,0.8340000000000001,0.11,0.7783,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,3,0,0,5,10,2,0,7,0,15,0,0,1,3,31,36,14,1,5,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,4,20,10,0,1,5,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,12,9,24,7,32,21,5,20,0,0,5,0,20,9,0,5,11,116,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12309991159723367,0.0,0.12371456618795827,0.0,0.10994451948248612,0.0,0.0,0.11204714789892044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513310653004278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999896157450156,0.14811853078467502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12582270126003814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657968089659898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14437667234918006,0.0,0.0,0.06879562542765902,0.0,0.07483488616721684,0.11044414361014863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14017226395031826,0.0,0.260006901443224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647802892387824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704027465520707,0.0,0.13712098906594342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057523935487476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245956491560944,0.0,0.0,0.13228691376772528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210206123776882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015571656708605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12570028123590055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13396251221532476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435544670678112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252546670184534,0.20942914652217856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747349692757691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156921535724336,0.10137113386340328,0.0,0.0,0.09320142490677727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14403290521522374,0.0,0.1241037033382662,0.0,0.0,0.10583671968668024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4586602892573373,0.17496025738744192,0.08437309339607114,0.0,0.10453656771550322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15533262342288295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353932852497307,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,neurophysiologic,2019/09/23,"Medication So, my mood being evened out by medication hasn’t helped. I still want to kill myself. I told my doctor that I want weemed off of the 3 pills I’m on and I just want uppers. Is this a terrible idea? I just want to feel happy, even if it is fake happy.",0.14220238095238358,2.1335954821428587,2.8000000000000007,91.61166666666668,85.25,5.8761904761904775,14.690476190476188,7.1686216300943375,-0.3275023809523812,201,3,47,3,6,70,42,56,0.184,0.613,0.203,-0.4263,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,0,6,6,1,0,2,0,4,4,0,0,0,11,11,3,1,5,3,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,8,2,7,9,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,1,32,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21969658434759126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835398429854637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853013715117146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4569837171477147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14387092637988208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24230623817668406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23747108677290696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4324612271649367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17141447249683828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051009383131538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5064088832242483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,roseaustralia2020,2019/09/23,"What has been your experience with psychiatrists? Good/bad. What would you want them to know? I say this as a doctor training to be a psychiatrist. I'm in my first year and I've had my own mental health issues in the past mostly with depression  so I can understand the health system isn't the most patient friendly. Previously to this I was a psychologist but didn't practice and went into medicine.  I'm sure people here who have been living with bipolar disorder would know more then me from my limited experience. 
I know this sub is for those with bipolar and I don't want to invade this safe space. A friend who  is on this sub encouraged me to post an introduction thread. But I understand if it's not allowed. 

What really gets me is the stigma around mental health which is still really strong in the community compared to other conditions. People dismiss mental health and give it less importance which is saddening. 
There is this stigma of me talking about my depression to colleagues so in a way I understand. I am a closeted bisexual(but more lesbian) female  of Indian background so I know a little about the feeling of being marginalised and feeling silenced inside a closet. 

I wanted to introduce myself but I would also like to learn about people's experiences with psychiatrists. What worked and helped them what didn't? In terms of feeling they could trust, have rapport and connection with their psychiatrist. 

Open to hearing crticisim because I know we have a long way  to go when it comes to sensitive and fair treatment for anyone with mental health issues but particularly like to learn from the perspective of someone who has bipolar. Because it is something someone has like  depression or diabetes but it doesn't define you. You are more than the diagnosis. I feel really bad when I hear patients telling their employers they have bipolar disorder and rather then taking this as an opportunity to learn and support their employee better they are treated differently. Would they treat their employees with diabetes differently if they had low blood sugars and didnt know how to control it?
How do we reduce this stigma?

Disclaimer: I post this as someone interested in the experiences of those with bipolar disorder. I am not sufficiently  qualified to offer any professional medical advice",7.0710920945395275,9.099296325183378,7.181767726161366,67.85535737571314,64.96577017114915,10.538907905460476,34.41572942135289,10.650279960617883,4.25752511817441,1883,85,288,52,30,605,197,409,0.084,0.763,0.153,0.9785,6,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,2,4,11,7,16,21,0,0,20,0,38,17,1,4,1,70,65,32,0,11,11,0,4,3,2,4,14,3,2,0,28,26,1,3,16,0,0,3,8,5,0,1,9,8,42,16,51,49,8,31,0,4,0,1,31,13,0,5,13,222,70,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07262944749012668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059437608291634185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05054349143629845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051969709249565885,0.0,0.0,0.0661649328360929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12411640023500753,0.09061555759383566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06573434805190936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402433376151624,0.0,0.0,0.08336171301643436,0.05934239737211777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19204782314040164,0.0,0.0,0.15530743546384654,0.25554837805726155,0.07607470071105753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29081611784065226,0.0,0.0,0.15032364251676486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06322073538848362,0.0,0.0,0.11484649111217082,0.0,0.03883170084415703,0.07129923177015154,0.04224056245273375,0.06234021302950666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39501954939018025,0.16753916369533314,0.0,0.04981842434134375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15515180369746476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450821796695951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10893419865203598,0.07449309146154638,0.0656302623240437,0.0657752115913098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487453326460859,0.29960813477383946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07095154214582436,0.1545826146541729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14236544801432735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14284333272923425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05910615620718473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889257798255862,0.05721895134968932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0593559737465429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434303363026131,0.07005035351776946,0.0,0.05588308681216907,0.059739551921389085,0.06496325238976842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321245755890888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315162830470558,0.11799131720271425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889994155198703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0541094238889637,0.0,0.0,0.21119315071941933,0.0,0.0,0.0478628089203868
bipolarreddit,Dylan-in-the-Movies,2019/09/23,"Disabled writers? is my thing relevant?  

Bipolar writer here. Exactly a year ago i became non-compliant and stopped taking my prescribed meds. Shortly after, i relapsed (heroin and crack cocaine) and have documented - extensively - my experience of this.

Lots of poetry, prose, short (short) stories and journal entries.   
I know many people get a little obsessive with alliteration, and to a lesser extent, slant rhymes? Several of my unfinished poems are (nearly) entirely alliterative, while still making sense.. i think??

Sketches... symbolism.  
Drawn during moments of mania, were words couldn't possibly keep up.

There's also some shocking video and audio.  
Certain music, or sounds, triggers psychosis in me. Auditory and kinetic. There's video of this, as well as footage of clonic tonic seizures (which i've never, ever experienced before), hours of footage of trying and failing to find a vein - groin and neck.

There's very little research into the way crack cocaine impacts the mind of someone experiencing mania, and ultimately, I hope that some harm reduction can come of this project of mine.

This mightn't be the right place for a project such as this but i truly believe it has huge potential and demoes aspects of hard drug use that just doesn't exist elsewhere.",6.6291023118544015,9.570270060747664,6.557771765863258,68.10756763403839,68.01869158878505,8.617412690605018,35.09493359567142,9.276330184999452,3.949181308411216,1019,51,140,22,19,322,155,214,0.051,0.887,0.062,0.6377,0,0,3,0,0,0,48.0,0,0,0,1,10,7,0,1,8,0,9,4,2,3,4,36,18,18,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,10,14,0,2,3,2,0,1,3,4,1,0,1,5,12,3,24,15,4,24,0,1,0,0,0,12,0,5,10,91,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15346556600006042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384486307919216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473172949915066,0.19505347865740616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14913253748627933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007709512617049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15660218765012493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16935024172619442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15823383456758702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045107916887267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550867014359939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17195297180276015,0.1704940284793329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538821557762669,0.0,0.0,0.09514540591951268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470350444016805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14718535464049814,0.0,0.0,0.11556280839882126,0.17552237672331192,0.0,0.0,0.19230372299313572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17480769412025474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335252812247585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12002362341643187,0.0,0.18087960139877207,0.0,0.0,0.19517331429665705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478484777316721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19558286309994485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14668891907522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13825847860851348,0.14474091153533844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13016904744230545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11501708134769953,0.11093201497987178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754104635152925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14952509555046498,0.0,0.1428469069977275,0.0,0.1374191928441907,0.0,0.0,0.15566087574440013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148733186519563
bipolarreddit,kevorkian-scarf,2019/09/23,"I feel unfixable 13 years. 13 years of different therapist, trying so many medications, and doing everything I can. No insomnia medicine works.  No mood stabilizer. No antidepressant. No counseling. None of it helps. Some short periods I feel ok and in control. Inevitably the whirlwind comes out more often than not. I push away everyone unintentionally.  I'm healing from a divorce. I lost everything. My health is bad. I suck at work. I'm so lonely. I'm tired of adjusting meds and getting hopeful but nothing works. I feel like nothing will ever help. So many years, so much money spent, and I still constantly fail. I'm tired of wasting time. I feel so unlovable, who would love such a broken person and deal with that? and im isolated and have no one who can relate, and I'm sure the few friends I have are exhausted hearing about my woes and dealing with my bullshit.

I'm having one of the worst mixed episodes of my life and feel so, so alone. I dont want to hurt myself and I'm not suicidal, but I'm tired of life. Just so, so tired. Today is a one of the worst. Yeah it always passes, I know, but this time I'm scared. I dont want to do something stupid. I have no idea why I'm posting this. I just have to get it off my chest. Thanks for reading.",0.8291555977229628,3.3777704354838747,2.5280929791271345,89.92905123339659,90.61290322580645,5.820872865275142,22.616698292220114,7.285733465282438,1.1124393738140426,980,38,199,18,34,321,136,248,0.332,0.565,0.102,-0.9968,1,3,1,0,1,2,41.0,0,0,0,6,17,21,2,1,7,2,16,13,1,1,2,39,44,23,1,4,7,0,5,1,1,2,11,1,0,1,8,15,0,1,8,1,2,3,11,13,0,3,2,6,21,7,22,40,7,20,0,5,0,1,11,6,1,3,11,121,29,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019543966912891,0.0,0.0,0.08191016240933043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248784237338258,0.0,0.08219348538364124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847975470004048,0.0,0.1063789238080222,0.11040909545230296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029751220717572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284909490283448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307424473861642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904482946150792,0.0,0.09406386426196192,0.17694347368431396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24887170612873735,0.07032572441746057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07605468230400875,0.0,0.10286192089724863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463736781788034,0.11094930062671753,0.0,0.1319648306004071,0.0,0.0,0.09777336625580686,0.0,0.0,0.10538230885181847,0.11112704449395724,0.10633234753576323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05410017938623729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390625001170431,0.04809292700363792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745914642013632,0.0,0.0888461565426304,0.0,0.0,0.19960589742110654,0.0,0.0,0.10934491066621553,0.09916818154311488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07236490029283844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18891212318201586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001169551269812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595421724134704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427853489422014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846687553560532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855584948391086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578410318899115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861449979746055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767764091648724,0.0,0.09277875763524936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063054363900072,0.0,0.11429670151994238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11480258673850845,0.4525702815169729,0.09330983361204537,0.0,0.0,0.06683445859953649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11612520363004705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882700177993523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21499699313453174,0.0,0.0,0.06992911941497656,0.0,0.0,0.19017685388727
bipolarreddit,BasketRobbing,2019/09/23,"I think I just had an episode of overspending or something I'm waiting in the parking lot for work to start and I just had a moment of self reflection. It probably isn't healthy to buy a DSi XL, 2 3DSes, 2 copies of the same Pokemon Game (SoulSilver), a flash cart, and a bunch of microsd cards in the space of like 6 days.

Some context, my mom is diagnosed bipolar and I haven't been diagnosed because I avoided any diagnosis so I could get in the Air Force. Well they kicked me out for wanting/trying to kill myself and I'm too poor to actually get help. I fucking thought so, anyway.

I literally just bought the DSi because I used to have one and I bought one of the 3DSes because it's the smaller version of the one I already ordered, which I only ordered because it came with SoulSilver at a good price. I feel sick, knowing I've just spent $300 on stuff on eBay I can't really return instead of saving it to pay for utilities or my credit card balance. I even bought a German to English dictionary and thought I could play Ocarina of Time or Pokemon in German to learn it with video games. I mean what the fuck was going through my mind dude. It's like I just had this wave wash over me that lasted a week where I decided that every spending decision I made was sound because I kind of wanted to play Pokemon again.

This happened last year, too, where I bought a Vita, a microSD, an adapter, and spent like a collective day or 2 of my life loading pirated games on it that I ended up never playing. And to a lesser extent I've been buying Switch games like Astral Chain and Mario Maker and barely playing them. I haven't even launched Astral Chain.

I don't even know why I'm writing this- just venting I guess. I know if I told my mom she'd immediately turn it around on me and make the conversation about how I'm  dumb for doing that, which, yeah, thanks mom. I don't think I know anyone I could tell in good faith so here I am. I don't even really know if I am bipolar. I think it's not a long shot but what if I'm just being a hypochondriac? Fuck. At any rate I'm gonna remove my card info from every online marketplace and make it impossible to just press the buy now button dude. I mean goddamn. Shit.",3.80938054323725,4.810964252771623,4.9770724778270505,84.4819501801552,71.66075388026607,7.76610310421286,28.50616685144125,8.07648339933343,1.7920293237250555,1742,65,357,24,32,576,225,451,0.083,0.856,0.061,-0.9119,0,1,1,0,0,1,43.0,0,0,2,1,28,23,6,1,26,1,24,11,1,7,1,73,69,24,1,7,17,3,2,4,0,1,7,1,0,1,22,17,0,2,18,9,14,3,9,7,1,3,18,3,49,16,46,45,6,39,1,0,0,3,16,19,5,10,19,221,71,5,0.0,0.0,0.08928373366685934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10096453339251878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443642550868735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06397386359717762,0.0,0.0,0.0814479520723504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27886567988345345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10464334102485688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191485669151644,0.0,0.0,0.11801051960488135,0.0,0.0,0.1857264466086888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103542696060838,0.0,0.0,0.2417204146691264,0.0,0.15417318906789546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046261487415761984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253750740996651,0.09560237949844833,0.0,0.051997442734237065,0.1534795688702826,0.0,0.0,0.10078958775000812,0.0,0.08090674360206954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061325666998340224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122318077466448,0.09527562800973127,0.25141013484395924,0.14915761803733332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462404062759526,0.17879496001968787,0.0,0.0,0.08096821158284814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778387090707603,0.0,0.08657265967442916,0.12214425262769675,0.0,0.0,0.19932487062656928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923816037691038,0.3214656366056665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056485519898249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18599358169904973,0.06958436516201005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864466752648378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172252069617858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544690026045152,0.0,0.09391600114071527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043559492011484,0.0,0.0,0.06475904491269811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047373182809687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996870306228979,0.08423423898316668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17587459473257885,0.0,0.14527005977599194,0.05335016286416632,0.0,0.0,0.08742525095604309,0.0,0.06211757683379145,0.09951784772759532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902036692491278,0.0,0.0,0.053964799072069934,0.0,0.07338997158446313,0.0,0.08226297714034465,0.0,0.08255798316616755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660781738399554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05891833634370736
bipolarreddit,gayangst666,2019/09/23,"Gabapentin Anyone here have experience on gabapentin? I feel like it always overmedicated me when i take it but i feel super manic when i take it. It isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it is ya know? How does it affect you guys though?",2.21478260869565,4.758237000000001,3.902347826086957,83.47091304347828,81.17391304347827,6.288695652173913,20.069565217391304,7.554174236665415,0.6336747826086961,186,5,38,3,5,62,32,46,0.096,0.7490000000000001,0.155,0.4386,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,1,5,3,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,0,7,8,6,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,7,2,1,8,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,26,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589754926381189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21762530328502264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598712753430923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723670432016238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3044511252762757,0.0,0.0,0.31474322991227377,0.2223489563496437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3081751999761337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17104862444718402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15205548489740853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4680254668195255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067731317379263,0.0,0.3057903969574484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,-drmisfit-,2018/11/17,Inhibitions I equate my hypomanic states as being equivalent to been punch drunk and not giving a single fuck in terms of consequences. Is this anyone else's experience?,8.55793103448276,10.544181517241382,8.78224137931035,57.92439655172416,61.41379310344828,12.696551724137931,31.74137931034483,12.161744961471696,4.8666413793103445,140,5,20,5,2,46,29,29,0.201,0.708,0.092,-0.3369,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,4,3,2,3,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,1,14,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31369591712833617,0.4596794191755253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3747768480893435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4388509677995156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4147556879382176,0.0,0.4303714264260641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Opinionated_Nautilus,2018/11/17,Hallucinating I was hospitalized mid September because I was having destructive and borderline violent thoughts. This was mostly my fault as I was not taking my medication consistently. So in the hospital they changed all my medication and I've been hallucinating and having ideas of reference. I only realized I was hallucinating after I went back on my old meds. I don't have a psychiatrist at the moment but I had some refills left on my old medication so I filled them and went back on what I was taking previously. Before I did that I thought all my neighbors were talking about me also coworkers. My unstable behavior cost me my job. My mood has been fine but fuck I should have never changed my meds. I hate them but they keep my stable.,4.501347557551938,7.185734766423359,6.263065693430657,68.92970241437396,73.5985401459854,10.054800673778775,30.9764177428411,10.214889679676881,3.9519212801796746,601,28,101,20,13,206,82,137,0.145,0.818,0.037000000000000005,-0.9418,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,4,0,6,7,4,0,3,0,18,4,0,0,3,20,27,11,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,0,3,4,0,1,5,0,1,3,3,5,0,0,15,0,31,1,9,11,4,17,0,0,0,1,6,7,1,2,7,82,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12174381701629858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341216025536827,0.0,0.09280221882755776,0.0,0.1295424136894285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220929696978305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14074058762787298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503024495511907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17185696235247375,0.0,0.0,0.15107166136079475,0.13531517724473244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16540586865737625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3382018172330723,0.4600880691003649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174145046541358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3194940956840845,0.0,0.0,0.11578304446499775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289264487825705,0.12236227679398265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417182329869041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28225031651952937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hcoolardd,2018/11/17,"Obsessing over my diagnosis. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder almost a year ago. I just learned yesterday, that I was in denial about it. I’ve always talked about it openly with others to try to justify my actions as I’m usually manic. I always talk about being sad or troubled or down. It’s like the only thing I focus on & at the same time I block it out when necessary, like if I do, it’s going to go away. Well yesterday my therapist said “ this is never going to leave you.” And that kind of was a slap in the face. I never thought I’d be plagued by something like this. I compared myself to others and their success and she kept reassuring me that not a lot of people may be “ carrying this tremendous load on their back.” It kind of just seemed like she was over- exaggerating this diagnosis but at the same time, maybe she was doing it for the right reason. 

Wtf guys, how do you feel? Do you feel like you’re going to be stuck forever or what?? ",3.431431064572425,4.964007780104712,5.006366492146597,81.84888656195464,73.29319371727749,8.234694589877838,25.82233856893543,8.841846274778883,1.9203484118673642,750,25,149,15,15,253,113,191,0.099,0.805,0.095,-0.5812,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,3,2,1,9,13,0,1,8,0,15,3,1,2,2,31,27,11,0,1,8,0,2,5,0,1,2,1,0,1,18,7,0,2,6,0,0,5,3,3,1,0,9,3,22,10,28,13,3,29,0,1,0,0,13,13,0,8,16,111,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12902514543352211,0.0,0.14575165218217392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422257518835131,0.15770807301940826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675309937136998,0.11192230749809548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14773459723922924,0.0,0.0,0.16681789069008196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471933014570589,0.10398405382621784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33088755640697315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441216865071878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30314490559092605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15412103596727844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35555250597354826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123745099849743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14622890433552224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245209694671132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107006390211752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10090905647692534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965410967351034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430261614156712,0.13845551460349909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250720990937814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120548466503839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23398213953986585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16899981424234015,0.09669983980784544,0.0,0.0,0.11555389210208965,0.16974781927510746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09882184645843256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16030754829527746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308708373787429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093732226601872
bipolarreddit,Bear___polar,2018/11/17,"Why does nobody talk about manic/psychosis recovery It seems like through all my attempts at gathering information after my first manic episode, I still feel kind of in the dark. I have done so many key word searches on these forums trying to figure out people's experiences after a bad manic/psychotic episode, to try and see how people handled life and what their physical/mental/emotional states were like. People talk a lot about how psychosis/mania ruined relationships, left them in debt, hospitalized etc. but what about the endless depression that comes after the mania? I have seen a few people say that it is typically a 6 month recovery, but I have never seen that paired with a testimonial to see how those 6 months actually play out. My 4 and a half months so far have been extremely dehabilitating. I was able to return to part time school and part time work about a month in to the depression, but it has taken my all to show up go work every day. Outside of these two activities I have isolated myself completely. This is mainly due to me not being able to socialize like my former, personable self. Paired with the inability to find joy or humor in anything, this has been a long 4 months to say the least. Still waiting on that magical 6 month recovery window, but until then I just feel so powerless. Can anybody tell me they recovered after their psychosis and add in some details just to reassure me? I could really use it",8.574436090225563,8.239216819548872,8.632781954887218,67.01090225563911,61.25563909774437,11.960902255639098,35.16541353383459,11.35114627814755,4.11086015037594,1158,43,195,29,14,379,154,266,0.105,0.8190000000000001,0.076,-0.8715,2,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,4,4,14,12,0,0,14,0,17,1,0,4,3,37,29,18,0,1,8,0,2,3,0,0,1,2,1,2,15,11,0,1,6,2,1,2,2,4,0,3,8,8,21,8,37,19,10,39,0,3,4,0,16,13,0,4,26,140,36,3,0.21015640566814006,0.0,0.1025411682530648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647040768931466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877359102469839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905155674816126,0.11017249647505266,0.0,0.0,0.08389639467182157,0.0,0.0,0.06776674792514535,0.0,0.18100740425677125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919546434096078,0.10753148387204547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11819883504888565,0.0,0.0,0.11718997232848215,0.0,0.0,0.0885329178734307,0.0,0.0,0.10278664529801257,0.0,0.0,0.1062613931992738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960395737381889,0.08937946565143517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05971836419873657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094227783821793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416777483388912,0.0,0.0742198421933472,0.15400770659905794,0.0,0.0,0.09299090288994444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933373041743363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10653280499765966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058941137996752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5032345139857409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104278789136066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275789077463667,0.0,0.2913919810621399,0.0917502336594854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06731578741666468,0.0,0.0,0.1128146654241572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16712480884778713,0.0,0.10634475112559104,0.1674674462759422,0.09565924939883802,0.10961948226044356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10711399497922187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16783117703667275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16891575829288988,0.09184298078624564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12254389017813848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14268240441989455,0.0,0.10264613570884623,0.0,0.0,0.09075382947693683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948167341888164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15299636627711732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ProsimiansOnPluto,2018/11/17,"Anyone here have tardive dyskinesia? My GP wants to take me off of cogentin, but even with taking it, I still have a lot of oral twitching and tongue movements. I was thinking I needed a higher dosage or to switch to Ingrezza, but she seems to think it'll just stop on its own. Things I've read say it can become permanent, so I don't know about this one. 

Does anyone have any experience with this tor some insight? (I have an appointment with a new psych on the 27th, but I'm going to run out of cogentin before then.)",4.430975274725277,5.218315201923076,5.067747252747253,85.19153846153847,70.05769230769229,7.865934065934066,26.395604395604394,7.957251820313856,1.3947873626373624,407,12,84,5,7,131,77,104,0.033,0.9670000000000001,0.0,-0.4871,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,5,0,8,1,0,0,0,20,18,7,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,7,5,0,1,5,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,1,8,0,16,16,3,11,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,4,4,58,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15895912559063352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32688915248057704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581603128474802,0.19890542239301406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20455762857504767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15439074851329276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286539497270146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284643939577515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846378393159166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19872727867099196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17332387343060915,0.0,0.22575878299103425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15839615552809302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23381488872554185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185888680040216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127987068704225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18667435543550653,0.1954268312362524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35150427335094336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15529419780070494,0.2995572148911869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13787276897585896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,redheadgurl1987,2018/11/17,"I’m a bipolar needing some advice I am a bipolar at a great point in my life. I’m losing weight ( gained a ton during mania and depression). I got into fitness and intermittent fasting. I also got a volunteer job that I do four hours a day 2-3x a week. I even started a meetup (for childfree people) in my city. I am considering going back to try working in a year. However I am terrified of screwing up my disability or that screw the job up. I am very good with people, I always wanted to be a CNA or a nurse but Ik the nursing will never happen. I’m not sure what I should do. Should I continue to tell myself “ you’ll never work again.” Or what? Any advice would be appreciated. Also big problem- outside of this volunteer job I have a ten year work gap in my resume, worried I am unemployable. Ok thank you!",1.4581025824964158,3.6836016036585377,4.2894261119081785,81.49201578192256,81.74390243902441,6.541750358680058,24.281205164992823,7.724431198458867,1.5212809182209468,629,24,121,11,17,224,101,164,0.102,0.777,0.122,0.6181,6,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,5,5,10,2,0,14,1,15,6,0,0,3,19,26,8,0,6,5,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,5,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,2,2,1,20,5,15,17,2,24,0,2,0,2,3,11,2,4,12,86,25,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817206877815089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305511671458523,0.11994318294537455,0.0,0.0,0.09802599126372598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084137586137677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929639220712608,0.0,0.12415497820726792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520879099410397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192297145093687,0.1209050068397248,0.2305776077552459,0.15892434070963324,0.0,0.0,0.1274701311789014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195733476189049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4291357298834896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10181641936580807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612654119411986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068843606151868,0.22235257404685355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19986897888012367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13626702021979345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13793074278438958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020291212144502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358583498452649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12599223026071646,0.13271266417234145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09786743743467564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893769170241135,0.08502257921283901,0.0,0.11562731224357505,0.1755341612949152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148256934392688,0.14638990073465916,0.0,0.1023990298210427,0.0,0.0,0.18565394497926385
bipolarreddit,kjm158,2018/11/17,"Desperately seeking a new Pdoc in Houston Just moved to Houston from out of the country, I have United Healthcare and cant seem to find anyone worth a !@#$

Sorry if this is against the rules, but I'd appreciate any input.",5.124341085271318,6.338074767441863,5.9162790697674446,78.17503875968997,68.76744186046511,7.593798449612403,32.93798449612403,7.793537801064563,2.401068217054263,177,8,32,2,3,58,38,43,0.068,0.765,0.16699999999999998,0.6419,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,7,4,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,7,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,20,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792332194716589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871125206506923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3752959329630717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43642022954320897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3965758591358569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3738097312629855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4596514204695558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dumbxblondex,2018/11/17,"Thoughts I have been in a depressed mood for a couple weeks now and haven't been able to snap out of it. 

Luckily, this is my first long lasting depression since being diagnosed around May. And have come to recognize and realize the thoughts swirling around in my head are mostly irrational and have been better with dealing with them.

BUT. I am thinking of withdrawing from college once this semester is done in a month. I am 24 (f) and just started going back Aug 2018 after withdrawing in 2013. In between that time I got certifications in medical assisting and ophthalmic assisting and worked for 2 years. In the throws of hypomania, I quit my job in January. For the first month+ of college I was happy to be back but slowly started to question what I would be doing post grad. Now, all I can think about is how much I want to go back into the medical field. 

I currently have no concentration to focus on my schoolwork. I am alone all day long other than school or work and I just sit here. The professor gave us a very long research project to do that is due the 10th of December and when she was going over it I just wanted to cry and scream. I just know there is no way I can do it at this point in my mood. And now it's just more fuel to the fire of dropping out and am thinking about not even attempting to do it. Just thinking about the work makes me want to shut down. I think you guys can relate to that feeling. 

So if I drop out, I know that it's going to be a complicated couple of months moving back and getting things in order... 

I'm not quite sure where I was going with this, guess I just needed to vent. 

​

(also slightly embarrassed to bring this up to my doctor. last convo we had a few weeks ago was about registering for my classes and how ok that went.)

 ",4.389943342776204,5.523242759206799,5.093003966005668,83.69753427762043,70.41643059490085,8.367546742209631,28.00101983002833,8.726425361277474,1.9895183909348448,1406,49,282,24,25,454,188,353,0.096,0.8640000000000001,0.04,-0.9676,2,1,0,0,0,0,37.0,2,1,1,9,29,10,0,1,14,1,37,5,1,3,3,64,67,23,0,6,13,0,2,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,19,25,0,0,12,0,0,10,5,4,0,2,14,3,33,4,59,47,6,69,0,2,0,0,9,24,0,6,29,215,52,14,0.09179727337804704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137274411910382,0.0,0.0,0.09507429061051974,0.0,0.07341024635498282,0.0,0.09946230735261828,0.1115437348666002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16343807091720142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823457476807764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118722847658813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907522272910973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20314387396152905,0.10083499433790427,0.05920164712989143,0.09463895804801886,0.15812971409729915,0.09317230016129344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09395839908595983,0.0,0.0939404819983147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060631233305495615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046415459619390885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15616542768141595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047960286547293465,0.0,0.26085252964869643,0.0,0.07341866536093881,0.0,0.10112504594202963,0.09089373299102782,0.0,0.09771990447429353,0.0,0.0,0.09421048599988703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109462927606232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089876148495387,0.14965405964395193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437130947435243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06127539279735625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18495219073082764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21981512343985146,0.09756597400359997,0.06748155826251319,0.06806651505079442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776110020871638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08677809484318136,0.0,0.0879164127860799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028339549763613,0.19527539957456252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290374148111166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593565314516912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994916514990962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651784378270293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060986029464282665,0.2940999308460552,0.0,0.14575356241446075,0.05352772832085671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11042081717363456,0.0,0.0,0.07574236432508204,0.16243323067114232,0.07286440279612763,0.1472684711553944,0.0,0.0,0.08509699209897705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20048852495840253,0.0,0.0,0.06521014921532324,0.0,0.1115437348666002,0.059114434363631785
bipolarreddit,Alyra_Veleris,2018/11/17,"Internalizing Others Emotions I can't be alone in this. This mostly happens when somone elae is angry or showing any emotion related to anger. I immediately blame myself and get quiet and scared. I want to run and hide and cry. Fear consumes me and I don't know what to do or say. I was in a relationship with a narcissist for 11 years and didn't realize it until the end ehen I divorced him for cheating on me with my best friend of 25 years. Needless to say that and all those years really fucked me up.

Add to that my BP2 and it just makes for a shot show. I'm always afraid I'm in trouble, that someones mad at me. I hate it so much. I haven't been to therapy in ages and I've never been on meds but I'm looking in to a psychiatrist because I think I can be better. I'm sick of being so anxious and scared all the time.

Have meds helped anyone else with that? Is there anything else to maybe help?",1.5298817966903044,3.5096399787234063,3.358865248226952,89.58388888888891,80.06382978723406,6.092671394799055,22.14657210401891,7.1686216300943375,0.6367898345153673,708,22,154,9,18,237,114,188,0.19,0.735,0.075,-0.9616,0,1,0,0,1,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,5,13,5,4,6,0,15,2,0,1,3,27,28,17,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,12,14,0,0,3,2,0,1,5,10,0,0,4,4,18,3,26,21,5,19,0,0,1,1,8,9,1,3,9,101,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497176424260979,0.0,0.0,0.1202831540830599,0.0,0.0,0.09830383954950844,0.0,0.0,0.16330846695519122,0.0,0.10107774145248233,0.1481159139965547,0.1189582421578528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08812071526183061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517038420527436,0.12784907848977198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15878927446501015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24151794961394515,0.32521474151113444,0.12803475473032472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16266701690841995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168451876087586,0.13364078364531168,0.07552516022818867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278314369609693,0.0,0.0,0.1427202875899675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193787261381935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07944484568980302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139162363352332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649304022614706,0.0,0.14522711722282258,0.0,0.3211408780301633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10626616034077407,0.0,0.1114914089657901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09260703117452372,0.0,0.0,0.1552003124202039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299153434424786,0.28945391098161816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12248282959865843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16531373373522248,0.0,0.0,0.0926264040492936,0.0,0.0,0.0842924542182869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526357017434362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792702534862555
bipolarreddit,EDonue,2019/09/03,"Posted this on bipolar2 as well but I'm going back to college tomorrow I'm going back to college again tomorrow and I've signed up for 4 classes. Now I'm panicking because I've never taken this amount before, and I think I am not going to be able to handle the workload. I really want to drop one class and only take 3 but in order to do so I need to talk to my parents about it. Unfortunately they are not at all supportive of something like this and will call me a ""quitter"" and say stuff like I am be ""stupid"" or ""irrational"". They are paying for my classes so they say they get to decide what amount I am capable of handling. I really, really, know that I can't do 4 classes especially with one of them being a lab. There is always the option of dropping the class, not requesting a refund, and not telling them, but I feel like that could fuck me over later as they'll know what classes I've taken because they keep track. I seriously think if I end up taking 4 classes i won't finish any of them, but I don't know how to tell my parents I'm dropping a class, and is it better to not say anything and just see what happens later? Also I am financially dependent on them to pay for my classes so if the find out I dropped one and lied then I may he cut off.",4.5188740458015255,4.565212442748095,6.154265267175576,80.10521469465651,69.61068702290076,8.840076335877864,29.733778625954198,8.660442795831766,2.1697320610687028,988,35,203,15,16,341,132,262,0.10400000000000001,0.8170000000000001,0.079,-0.746,2,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,10,1,13,10,3,0,8,0,20,1,0,2,2,43,45,24,0,5,13,2,1,3,0,4,0,3,0,0,11,11,0,1,8,0,3,3,9,4,1,3,2,5,32,6,33,35,3,30,0,0,1,1,21,9,1,6,15,142,43,13,0.1324000337113671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588025912416564,0.11016743439341924,0.0,0.0,0.09003656311434312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895394653046782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20361490671538748,0.0,0.16141966331553215,0.0,0.1126626769651087,0.0,0.0,0.1170970704430896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351952376305106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057106534297308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726713145625013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06694543522036246,0.0945866105381783,0.0,0.0,0.12101123218333805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224016977004389,0.069173553004321,0.0,0.2257379709544325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170809125531358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176832333767439,0.0,0.0,0.2182907879032576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940519060620463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09817294736224316,0.1021150682013783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691530681478811,0.10069619181151143,0.0,0.0,0.2940291378977262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12680263354579266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544565556763741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3158694628665415,0.0,0.0,0.10550568497780848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192801443140913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15156636216897965,0.0,0.1502459892442747,0.0,0.0,0.19909669592689536,0.10641813187305682,0.2314469304628925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16967319104639336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780929702495522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190435309113459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Coeus_Tech,2019/09/03,"Feel like I died but, I'm still here. First off, I'm not depressed right now. In fact I'm the most stable I have been since I've been diagnosed 1 1/2 years ago and it finally feels great to not be influenced by a high or a low.

BUT, there are still a few lingering things that aren't going away. It's difficult to describe it took me a several days to get to this point. I used to be a work oriented type of a person. 

I would give my all work overtime when needed and have clear goals in mind on how to move up in the company. After having a few cycles of ups and downs and different medications. I just want the work day to end as soon as possible and doing the minimum amount of work to keep my job.

I used to have some type of project going on at home weather it's improving the house it's self or some hobby that involves a technical skill such as programming. Now, I just want to sit and watch TV and start smoking weed(only medically legal here) . The strange thing about that is I never smoked weed before but, at 35 I want to start because it sounds relaxing.

These feelings sound a lot like depression, I know, but, that's where it stops. I just don't have any motivation anymore. The rest of the symptoms of depression are not there. Anyone else feel this way?",2.9792421715767996,4.614598404669263,4.105036131183994,87.42889753566799,74.68093385214009,8.008078562164165,25.078562164165287,8.704169506293173,1.6450227533815078,998,33,212,20,21,325,151,257,0.094,0.775,0.131,0.8397,2,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,8,17,9,0,0,17,0,16,4,0,5,4,45,38,18,1,5,12,0,4,2,0,1,4,2,1,2,16,7,0,2,6,2,0,4,6,5,0,1,3,7,14,4,35,32,9,41,0,4,1,0,4,17,0,6,20,140,30,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101855748030006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813887881894628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395421116015872,0.08034377321213995,0.1177330560837909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079563924155338,0.0,0.0,0.07004460784886489,0.0,0.0977751144456148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14820756306798513,0.0,0.2969007710661087,0.11662546754862113,0.11925254460601185,0.12005055977074358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598781636591124,0.0,0.10177112338982268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23239630964244115,0.08208767019851057,0.0,0.1258720676629616,0.0,0.0977375571213046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060032765453477625,0.11022669532423274,0.13060554769542118,0.0,0.0,0.126682420039819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140272429052225,0.11525840313397287,0.0,0.0,0.13258415959678446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11402480900544068,0.10213224043402283,0.0,0.0,0.06314841005797163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227289483207938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976875450742074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315080306140752,0.0,0.0,0.11602060911834787,0.0,0.0,0.1221251092364198,0.0,0.08520009840330159,0.08862129632427992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033002141854948,0.0,0.0,0.10862172412342123,0.12953735773648167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812766268656783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987026696736472,0.12980917701686445,0.0,0.09505004208691126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16265974025461688,0.0,0.18352547906616626,0.09606515780205063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942958605914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267465089717092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276629290024886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984808821093422,0.0,0.0,0.20332063756782556,0.09120570200626753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3346068580601698,0.0,0.0,0.08162473318772732,0.0,0.0,0.07399461572372887
bipolarreddit,ClassyTime,2019/09/03,"I need to hear success stories with Lithium, please help me out ... I was just put on Lithium after spending the past 7 or so years trying every fucking medication on the market with no results whatsoever. My depression and anxiety feel like it gets worse everyday (diagnosed bi-polar type 2) and I can't take it anymore. 

I've heard/read that Lithium is like magic for people with bipolar. Has anyone here had great success with it ? I'm also on anxiety meds of course but I need some hope here.",4.0867021276595725,6.2013593191489385,5.311648936170212,77.90875,72.82978723404256,7.67872340425532,30.89893617021277,8.472884824447931,2.683429787234044,392,18,67,7,8,130,73,94,0.08800000000000001,0.7290000000000001,0.183,0.8555,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,2,5,8,1,0,2,0,5,4,0,1,0,16,14,6,0,3,3,0,1,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,7,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,2,2,6,6,12,12,1,9,0,1,0,1,2,4,1,3,6,40,10,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15917749883872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3045402174248397,0.0,0.19740074765170695,0.13917801492166915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17143855001095132,0.2020281151081914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16770535029526906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064394463325156,0.14219893503890196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18401537977651328,0.10399363624623367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21944958572036527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2243399911357772,0.0,0.13341674422416566,0.0,0.0,0.1976981918339448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19448823483780645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22109590732917167,0.20051851469693874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29518107235498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19001250794123828,0.13799385423826685,0.0,0.0,0.21849340072355225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000968159886076,0.0,0.0,0.1991004707559725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965827599426046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351395796556638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20284549645728214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817948821159206
bipolarreddit,Kaniela420,2019/09/03,"Why is it that the ones closest to us, family and significant others, who should be the most supportive, always seem to be the ones who refuse to acknowledge or understand? And somehow, make it worse? Or -antagonize- it?? Last week, my mother, (who is supposedly bipolar herself and on lamotragine as well, after learning of my diagnosis) and who also loathes my husband, accused not only him, but me as well, of being on drugs. KNOWING that I am bipolar, KNOWING that I am stressed the f*&$ out enough as it is... It's like she thinks it's like any other form of depression, you take your pill like she takes her prozac and BOOM, cured. No longer bipolar. She doesn't take the time to research or understand it, and she herself is afflicted!

 She is EXTREMELY critical and judgemental, and no matter how much you beg her, she just can NOT keep her damn thoughts and opinions to herself. She just LOVES to stir the shit pot. Whether it be judging me for gaining weight (I'm 132 lbs, she's over 2 hundo and only 5'2"", talking shit to me about my husband and how much she hates him (he's kind of earned the award, but that's another story, and one that -I- shouldn't have to hear about all the goddamn time) passive aggressively posting shit about me on Facebook or having little get togethers with my ex best friend where MY LIFE is always the topic of conversation, or criticizing my parenting skills, it's ALWAYS gotta be something, ESPECIALLY when she's going through her own form of mania and FIXATING and projecting all of her anger and hate spew towards one person. Usually, my husband. 

Did I mention that she lives 3 houses down!? Aaahhhh that's the great life. You thought Everybody Loves Raymond was dysfunctional? They're the damn Von Trapps in comparison to MY family dynamic!! One time, my mom lost her shit on my husband, because he wouldn't plant a tree she had insisted on giving us, where SHE wanted it planted. In OUR YARD! 

Then there's my husband, who wants to argue back with me whenever I go into a rage instead of just staying the hell away from me and giving me some space, or if I try to tell him something that is a legitimate concern, it's gotta turn into an ""oh yeah? Well you do this and this and this?"" Good God, just shut the f@#* up! Get over yourself! It's not about you! Your wife has a serious mental illness and you want to pick a f$&#_ng fight!? And downplay the fact that I DO have bipolar? ""Oh well.. I don't think you have it as bad as they're saying."" ""You never used to be like that before you started taking those meds"" ""you were never this angry when we first got together."" Well no shit Sherlock! I was MANIC! you had drugs I wanted! We had just met! I was trying to impress you and not show you my crazy! Why can't you try harder to understand my illness and join a spouse support group and learn some tactics to better help you deal with me!?

Gaaahh! Sorry. That got way more angry than I intended. But I see a lot of others on here seeming like they have similar issues with their mothers, or family members in general. Hopefully some can relate",4.063643198426083,5.918602731871843,4.808900716694779,82.58928137296236,72.27150084317032,7.774718943226532,28.54303681843732,8.472884824447931,2.1462659078133783,2432,96,456,42,48,783,294,593,0.145,0.6579999999999999,0.19699999999999998,0.9903,1,0,4,0,1,0,107.0,5,17,2,8,26,44,15,1,22,1,39,20,5,6,5,97,85,46,0,9,21,12,1,5,1,5,12,3,1,1,37,32,1,2,14,2,0,2,14,20,5,6,14,5,84,24,61,60,15,44,1,2,1,2,87,24,8,18,20,331,121,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054490285622487734,0.17008992089888034,0.1476559419269122,0.0,0.04633647557298008,0.07144909514136814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640183070926854,0.05239425420609583,0.05689275101764545,0.041536560412240436,0.0,0.0579807935643945,0.0,0.07150708867341828,0.06026291271650496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07024773939750101,0.05868753828244915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15803791509344725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040522277883407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19270457039289327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05795852201319247,0.0,0.0,0.05264358949923882,0.0,0.07119904488158665,0.13072920043340094,0.07744929108219034,0.05715129042671568,0.10899306961031212,0.07512287033580749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13454520494798494,0.0,0.0,0.07679697370996312,0.0,0.0456717598444182,0.0,0.0,0.06767684514879797,0.0,0.07862261098927986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07111882814023776,0.0,0.06056457599104115,0.0,0.07095569953775377,0.07489420898663443,0.055541922684272826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625639012778574,0.16644499919651398,0.06829261720500769,0.06016749062258765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438115604069889,0.0579288647921816,0.1229952042905008,0.0,0.04548293761353705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568644581189428,0.0,0.06866752090084162,0.0,0.0,0.07980291707051132,0.0,0.0,0.10017918660002706,0.0,0.1051051306198202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308618509384248,0.1036447076781615,0.0,0.0,0.07565967366302097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05949585733715392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06525779004272281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05418642213822365,0.0,0.0,0.054297514539467774,0.12406135283175072,0.0,0.0,0.3497156459597043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491259967143196,0.0,0.07627540468491753,0.04822873833702762,0.07262651062849414,0.0,0.0,0.07805235247797976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546453878234833,0.0,0.0,0.20492650692944955,0.05476709680483727,0.05955599963436744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732072171975583,0.0,0.10818861999255468,0.11919621645821232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13878458352586218,0.0741150559645952,0.0,0.21280355632392545,0.1639243066251185,0.058849734502033235,0.07504486482001521,0.0,0.16075926860044207,0.05408512186260348,0.054656546292191056,0.0829742629705515,0.3063232020079269,0.0,0.1229686871732443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06943889129952804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mizz_grouchy,2019/09/03,Abilify Has anyone taken abilify? My doc prescribed it to me about a week ago now...and honestly it just makes me feel irritated and annoyed. I get upset over the smallest things. Has anyone experienced this before.,3.6889473684210543,6.920195263157897,5.3845263157894765,69.99468421052634,83.21052631578948,8.303157894736843,28.65263157894737,8.841846274778883,3.5209831578947366,172,8,25,5,5,58,32,38,0.19399999999999998,0.735,0.071,-0.6369,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,1,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,6,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,4,1,3,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,17,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3771403752458511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5949763535970025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36203104944909054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21512293886075373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22228278843429536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839946579545973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826535381828709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3412745082808935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,vaginagod,2019/09/03,"annoyed after depressive episode anyone else just BIg Annoyed with themselves after a depressive episode? i didnt realise it was even a depressive episode until i was showing mania symptoms and slid into a manic episode. but im always so annoyed that i was such a whiny suicidal baby for a few weeks, its embarrassing. does anybody know how to get over that cringy enbarassment or how to stop being so agitated with myself?",6.284254385964911,8.55478698684211,6.584210526315792,70.41780701754391,67.28947368421053,8.750877192982456,37.66666666666666,9.2995712137729,4.116287719298247,345,19,50,7,6,111,54,76,0.34600000000000003,0.654,0.0,-0.9811,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,7,7,3,1,5,0,5,1,0,2,0,11,7,8,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,7,0,0,4,0,4,0,10,2,1,9,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,1,5,39,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20693326936613235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17389257588359636,0.25481631706543817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6425991436348231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21763373106526396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20775186394641265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16425999301502184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12993231217255835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686321167939089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667567813799233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20791925839423506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720307910162679,0.0,0.0,0.25848821291601315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19948726691269056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,helphelphelphelp007,2019/09/03,"Help for bipolar marijuana Looking for anyone who can offer insight. My wife is Bipolar I and is currently in a manic episode for almost 3 months. She smokes pot non stop, a ton of it, and it seems clear to me that it’s causing her mania or at least perpetuating it. Does anyone else have any thoughts, ideas, experience, etc?",5.843709677419355,6.6632699838709675,6.632419354838714,75.11862903225808,66.90322580645162,8.780645161290323,33.24193548387097,8.841846274778883,2.7872451612903206,257,11,47,4,4,85,52,62,0.036000000000000004,0.878,0.086,0.4767,1,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,1,1,11,7,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,7,6,3,5,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,3,3,30,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637503889694073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791165074501362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3683415035035023,0.2698776094039176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27057752141981856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304972920963505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22003134272075411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937532057216271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576492336479935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17654700775740162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2973390273312905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22118407336457732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102380558903107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397834098728919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202086312630503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091048954337862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Justathrowaway363,2019/10/26,"I am nothing more than the illness I get to out for the first time in ages, suppose I needed to. Obviously alone, we'll as a pity third wheel with a friend and his fiancée. Joined up with other couples. I don't feel out at all. I enjoy it, for the longest while. But eventually it sinks away. I'm not right there. I don't fit.

It all spirals and falls away. I don't want to be alone but I have to be away from others, can't taint anyone else's experience with my presence. Not the first time I've felt like this. Whenever I go out. I'm little more than my illness. My personality is imagined. I'm just a manic phase, a hypomanic phase, a depressive phase.

Now I sit back at home, hollowed to the point of near inverse, watching Legion for the umpteenth time to try and feel human. Too tired for one more suicide attempt. Dreading working a job where I work illegally long work weeks just to be treated like garbage. There's really nothing in the future. I am nothing more than the bipolar. Nothing more than the illness.

Illness should be removed.",1.7734782608695667,4.260693980676328,3.1402898550724667,88.57826086956526,82.6231884057971,5.339130434782608,25.90821256038648,6.7026698264267655,1.089171980676328,822,35,163,9,23,267,117,207,0.188,0.762,0.051,-0.9816,2,2,0,0,0,1,30.0,1,0,0,6,8,8,0,1,15,0,14,6,0,0,3,25,24,7,1,3,6,0,3,2,1,2,6,0,1,2,6,9,0,0,4,0,0,3,6,3,0,4,1,4,17,5,33,17,7,33,0,2,1,0,5,17,0,0,14,111,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694752039381041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096437984907338,0.13329613492411888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3666812956702814,0.10003384912045173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439459514055592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204931607012396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10867640191278104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272563777606229,0.0,0.0,0.1315583357656127,0.0,0.1249101336806575,0.0,0.0,0.22131488019682613,0.0,0.0,0.10050989309650604,0.0,0.06796846926371806,0.0,0.07393511765742804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304943587326086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12909769636039087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12711419745366373,0.13038783486933733,0.0,0.115128628161318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646266044628964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4993127768192014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815470289395101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359260106548735,0.0,0.0,0.1229803801588344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334120884976973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109911353993968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14230114240881714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22757564762745025,0.1495233075594906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832492734833497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673249988745809,0.0,0.10435313543602093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841287891999127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SK195,2019/10/26,"God dammit! I was on such a good stability run. And now that motherfucker has me again. Apologies for being such a recent prolific poster.  My good run led me here to provide my own brand of experience and encouragement.  Now I find I am in need of the same.  And apologies in advance if you find this post melodramatic, trite.

I’m in the slide.  There I was driving down the rainy highway, alternately bawling like a weepy orphan and yelling “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!!”.  Bp is a demon that leaves but comes back.  And he’ll never leave for good.  Don’t ever let anyone tell you this shit isn’t real.",1.910000000000004,4.431124444444446,3.2499145299145304,87.79230769230772,82.33333333333334,5.993162393162392,21.820512820512814,7.321109707123232,0.7951846153846156,468,15,95,7,13,152,82,117,0.134,0.7509999999999999,0.11599999999999999,-0.6364,0,0,0,0,1,0,16.0,0,2,0,1,9,8,2,0,8,0,9,3,2,1,2,17,15,7,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,0,2,0,0,7,3,3,0,0,2,1,11,5,12,10,2,21,1,0,0,1,7,6,2,1,8,63,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13365245288206026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14697807348728376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16465378342361667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729008513073853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18697568279817794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3494046298189876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767097115805013,0.09986494329766353,0.0,0.0,0.4809680006812817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961690706986607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4047881688057659,0.0,0.19545787139696855,0.0,0.09338338981700736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14173098526661626,0.14742217296732868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830632844355121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175639202121898,0.0,0.0,0.18873181498241826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962067508751298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16706843571885946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,yellowastro,2019/10/26,"Recently was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder type 2. I feel so hopeless and I don’t know if I could live like this for the rest of my life I moved to a new state 10 months ago and I cannot get comfortable here. I am having trouble finding friends I want to keep; I always find something wrong with them. I find myself with an intense heartbreak thinking about my friends back home and ex boyfriend who I had to break up with because of the distance.  

Since I moved here my personality shifted completely in desperation to make friends and I can’t shift back. I was an extroverted social butterfly and now the idea of leaving my room doesn’t interest me. My therapist suggested I socialized  more so i threw a party last night and invited some coworkers. During the middle of the party, I began to feel super disassociated (which is common when I shift between my manic and crashing days). I started thinking about my friends back home I became super anxious knowing i was drunk and was about to crash again. I knew it was coming but i was really hoping it wouldn’t of been last night. everyone was pressuring me to keep drinking but i basically yelled at everyone to let it go. I began to feel paranoid and for a minute I looked around the room and did not know who anybody was. I was now on the verge of a panic attack. I calmed down, a few hours pass and everyone who’s sleeping over is getting into bed. I ended up drinking a little more to help me pass out. Today I woke up and I feel like absolute crap. I’m not hungover, I just emotionally feel like crap. My heart feels so heavy. The only thing keeping me from going insane right now is curling into a ball, closing my eyes and imagining my ex boyfriend holding me. We haven’t really spoken in the last 3 weeks. He recently reached out to me asking if I was okay. I wasn’t but I told him I was not to worry him. That was it. He doesn’t know I am bipolar and doesn’t have much knowledge about what it is. He always said he felt like I might have it and that I should see a therapist but I was financially able to until I moved here and after we were broken up. I have my next therapy session Monday. I leave back home to visit Wednesday. I don’t feel like I have it in me to make it to those days. Is feeling this low “normal”?",2.504016355737285,4.676907232967037,3.993447482749811,85.27818042422695,77.76923076923076,6.869920776897522,25.74623051367237,7.900780265707199,1.59278073089701,1801,69,354,30,43,596,221,455,0.115,0.7609999999999999,0.124,0.1721,0,0,3,0,0,1,36.0,2,0,1,2,21,26,3,2,19,1,43,12,5,2,0,75,82,27,0,8,10,2,9,5,4,3,4,2,6,1,19,29,3,4,22,4,0,10,13,10,0,0,26,14,68,16,52,51,6,70,0,3,3,0,27,24,2,5,39,248,87,2,0.07470801204189857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622414505163456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12432610150584912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439878881715808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650596973562703,0.06984190641885929,0.08499114889645612,0.0,0.22978339923938004,0.0,0.045541310726043435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06435433727462878,0.07832992924652074,0.0,0.0,0.05964826856918895,0.0,0.0,0.0963609746547845,0.0,0.0,0.07582705963122786,0.0,0.0,0.08562185419864275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463708203276595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840364581236196,0.06616912415635047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141601211426658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3021969249038698,0.16011425619029693,0.07173140734099456,0.0,0.2048453086696224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23087689912933704,0.0,0.07806370566481273,0.0,0.08491656978044815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08852935397470332,0.050075205694377616,0.0,0.22481468219099607,0.07420191280382163,0.07357234307824081,0.0,0.0,0.084336252104824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992117411859357,0.0,0.0,0.1642302785396947,0.18269100287906434,0.0,0.1582099955339941,0.0,0.07639400393551697,0.052768478283590985,0.18249280518111224,0.07487705456495784,0.06596854334722634,0.0,0.06273591442156387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09973635631037618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792533947672077,0.0,0.0,0.05963122245583344,0.2382083811157173,0.054918984864833126,0.0,0.0,0.07215346356515477,0.07945281835047696,0.14021681688358692,0.0731979897881893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05681880962981852,0.0,0.08765375539075135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06523215449262881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957197310440388,0.0,0.147530298099294,0.0,0.0,0.06380023408613864,0.07106442741446119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595326131184675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061799239572353185,0.0,0.07476196527473063,0.15231082014982758,0.0,0.05751387757308975,0.0,0.0,0.052878715443283535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543512263772082,0.17348352020033864,0.04963268358572831,0.09573975507827252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081446003715641,0.07138670704755527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04406472112015999,0.0,0.059926260942192174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758696126417507,0.0,0.0,0.08168148330760795,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Overclockinggirl,2019/10/26,"My pretend baby This doesn’t have anything to do with bipolar disorder but I have bipolar disorder and I thought it might make someone laugh. So I tend to drink a lot (binge drink) and I’ve found pedialyte helps with the hangovers. I also have mild IBS so I use baby wipes a lot. Anyways, I was at the store a couple weeks back and I picked up a bulk case of baby wipes and some pedialyte and the lady at the register goes, “oh do you have a little one at home?!” And I blurted out, “yep!” Before I could even think about it. And now whenever I see this woman she asks me how my baby is. I feel bad for lying but I didn’t want to say “oh, I don’t have a baby, I just have a drinking problem and chronic diarrhea” So, I have a pretend 3 year old baby girl named Ava. She’s doing great. Hope you all have a good day!",-0.2747037652270201,1.8841628197674432,2.148471760797346,94.24724806201552,89.40697674418604,4.904097452934662,19.81838316722037,6.42735559955562,0.14747087486157273,623,20,139,7,21,212,102,172,0.12,0.728,0.152,0.826,0,0,3,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,0,0,11,6,0,0,13,1,18,6,0,4,1,32,29,15,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,1,2,4,11,3,0,4,5,1,0,3,2,0,1,4,3,22,4,13,23,4,12,0,0,1,0,10,6,0,5,6,95,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684466682044654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305269477119713,0.0,0.1482839743394654,0.0,0.0,0.12196544103514992,0.1324372218807685,0.0,0.0,0.1349700108495218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266414790120733,0.17550490761645507,0.0,0.10229380200006656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3635739481321093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4661480781039866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047639664680996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020070498428318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17391358369037466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13303906026037748,0.0,0.17487402294710286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631654971868706,0.0,0.15910416479383194,0.15754086762972475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589742864568602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696982579521852,0.0,0.0,0.10587700177558493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16826585868799787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16644016555157828,0.0,0.10748189050325316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517735028573015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12613732124535798,0.0,0.0,0.12639592658135715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13439430177039655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163433469407533,0.0,0.12592289891628006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369927663271687,0.0,0.0,0.09355546420326684,0.0,0.12723169505883694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10214310812791692
bipolarreddit,rsund,2019/10/26,Sleep management during travel across time zones How do people manage sleep when traveling across time zones without risking a mood episode?,9.332727272727274,13.046825909090915,5.863636363636362,72.61545454545455,62.63636363636364,8.036363636363637,33.72727272727273,8.841846274778883,3.590109090909092,118,5,14,2,2,32,18,22,0.0,0.9109999999999999,0.08900000000000001,0.2411,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,1,2,2,1,0,2,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,7,0,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663348645640459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7688941875438944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4480248258689832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3703258344808438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mellomadi,2019/10/26,"Do you feel like when you’re down & you ask everyone else how they are doing they all seem down too. and then when you’re up everyone’s up too? Rantish Sometimes I swear. I’m like “everyone’s sad so I’m sad” or “Everyone’s happy so I’m happy” but then I ask myself am I really happy and the answer is no but I’m stuck in feeling unhappy. Or am I seeing everyone rise and fall with MY moods?  I feel like a fraud. Always. Like no matter what my mood is If I ask myself how I feel one voice is like you’re good and the next voice is like are you though? You’re just saying that because so and so said that. You could kill yourself?”

I’m tired of telling myself the story that I need to die everyday. Tired. Of. It. I’m scared to do anything. Go to work. Call into work. Get off the couch. And the self hate is so bad sometimes the only way to get through it is to get it out via spamming people or the internet or screaming and crying and wishing I was dead.

What the fuck is wrong with me. I can’t even ask that because I know what is wrong and I know how to “fix” it momentarily but I find myself frozen with fear and inaction. That leads to feeling so pathetic and incomplete. “Why can’t I do these things other adults seem to have no problem doing?” “Why do I need to hear feedback on my thoughts like this? Just to not feel alone? So someone knows I’m hurting? Idk just what’s in my mind right now as I avoid calling into work again. I will just look for a new job today probably and stay home and give a dog and myself a bath. 
Thoughts?",-0.7262756410256408,1.4491421692307682,1.3558557692307716,97.40137339743592,96.53846153846158,4.431410256410256,17.232371794871796,6.21433560688645,-0.2892551282051281,1195,34,272,14,48,394,156,325,0.289,0.604,0.106,-0.9978,1,2,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,4,2,4,22,27,3,3,12,0,24,3,0,5,1,63,63,38,3,6,13,0,6,7,0,1,2,6,3,2,17,20,0,1,15,1,0,4,6,14,0,1,5,14,33,11,29,56,1,28,0,3,2,1,19,12,1,8,17,167,50,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08446236997905385,0.0,0.0,0.06785706813026879,0.08836060883169694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710962648342521,0.0,0.3049571695603711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809178218534054,0.09942561657604884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16654563122565438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06511193667504489,0.0,0.08958008041830723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08463719149730123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06812549972841296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05386374830514349,0.0,0.0,0.3896279691110237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917676871133594,0.2474081919273589,0.11652027862570903,0.0,0.0,0.0745362499544879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539270008284217,0.12782128924590866,0.07823126920347033,0.04634738314149988,0.06840121368256727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604380639505608,0.0,0.08051485141366034,0.0,0.0,0.09191404375454207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08180242668994941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873021649712699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092690707037678,0.0,0.09022423595219743,0.0,0.13445509508793846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788923193160112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848240502286629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234338767382668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093825029852845,0.0,0.07876258378044981,0.08673054559981577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0552611522129708,0.06202330467106262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05653728116908719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792590481965168,0.07803341199175541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052243738299481424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0696442143471623,0.07757379398685263,0.06485272706349676,0.0816469018782516,0.0,0.0649856874047117,0.14848216097017727,0.08507560801883307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909800276042807,0.0,0.16131229387586166,0.0,0.0,0.08692264751027687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127927692713985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0541789431305604,0.0,0.08012356531711948,0.12948496628649214,0.0,0.18746204087085264,0.07730093007257126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06473148637501777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14717440997045247,0.0,0.09377976798173238,0.0,0.0,0.17811056872316744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17832670406785026,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,604_,2019/10/26,"Anyone with experience tapering off Wellbutrin? I’ve come off three different SSRI and SNRI antidepressant meds in the past and the brain zap and dizziness issues were unfortunately very pronounced with me. Given that Wellbutrin is an NDRI I’m inclined to think the withdrawal experience could be different because it’s more aimed at dopamine and norepinephrine and not as much with serotonin. My belief is that it’s the serotonin adjustments that cause the brain zaps.  

I do not want to go cold turkey and I’m figuring out how I can taper these pills successfully. The lowest dose I can get to in a pill is 150mg. I can’t cut these. So my potential strategy is to just take one every other day for a stretch of maybe a couple of weeks and then try two day gaps in between doses if that goes well. The stuff apparently stays in your system for 4 days or so...so my hope is that those gaps are going to be manageable.

I’m also currently on 200mg of lamictal which has been the real game changer for me and if I have to take it until I’m in a box in the dirt I’m fine with that. I want to see if I can just go with one med. If it doesn’t work I’ll go back on the Wellbutrin.

If anyone has experience with coming off the Wellbutrin I’d really appreciate hearing about how it went for you!

Thanks :) 👍",3.1922832167832205,5.0567572423076985,4.6767832167832175,82.58185314685316,74.65384615384616,7.958041958041957,25.279720279720287,8.710501217029153,1.806423076923077,1033,35,207,21,22,345,149,260,0.048,0.872,0.081,0.8534,5,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,2,9,6,1,0,16,0,20,6,2,3,0,39,43,21,0,9,10,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,17,17,0,0,4,1,0,7,4,1,1,4,4,3,14,5,37,36,2,32,1,0,1,0,4,14,0,7,9,135,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956275678034132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17410685492497704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957329609969245,0.0,0.07589416011629714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779667729418089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12789599005193913,0.0,0.21449177897753446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09940327086065,0.13775709195175032,0.0,0.2408769682785115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26015239959515496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489677953243608,0.0,0.0,0.3653552259325255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504621060026645,0.0,0.28302530782270946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14032076227172186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365678021753355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994585195764138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12507717458929055,0.0,0.2765832885569697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152196465818008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16872910136008507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188495186279075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14170847252133534,0.07975800957778355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09921053215472696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327006370200691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425229308800123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872172969381677,0.0,0.0,0.11462304761444066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977469450885033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452745644839542,0.0,0.1216185948225556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027256952769275,0.14686687523294947,0.0,0.09986654249977196,0.0,0.11194062247713428,0.11541292323307938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063762094444068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AffectionateRepair7,2019/10/26,"Feeling Hopeful ☺️ This week has been so good I just had to share! I  recently was diagnosed bipolar 1 after having a manic episode after starting my first teaching job in the urban core. I’m thankful nothing happened in front of the kids but have really been struggling with accepting my diagnosis as well as what happened. This week I had my appointment with my new psychiatrist and he listened to me for 2 hrs. So much of my life makes sense now. I also called HR and they’ve agreed to release me of my contract with no penalty to my license or liquidation cost. I had a job interview that went so well at a preschool too and have applied to multiple other schools and centers. Idk, I’m just feeling like things are going to be okay and thought I’d share. Stay positive and stay strong friends!",4.499523809523812,6.253076376623375,5.122792207792209,81.19228354978354,70.94805194805195,7.990476190476191,34.26190476190476,8.59863814320734,2.9478112554112568,638,33,117,11,12,205,104,154,0.071,0.6729999999999999,0.256,0.9831,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,10,13,0,1,5,1,12,3,0,1,0,19,26,14,0,1,4,0,2,1,1,0,3,1,0,1,6,9,0,0,4,0,1,3,1,1,2,1,8,3,14,12,20,17,1,18,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,2,10,78,20,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13449075936231827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17172710306435726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17069570015651714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17007027548107895,0.12014539048180388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14305092271079972,0.0,0.0,0.12993281731650347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09557863250966618,0.1410585457612888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29743600868295483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16703730199482705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33377863373250777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878810006107685,0.08216258761822813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11225918065566336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12362914530747787,0.0,0.0,0.16242599992496118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16136997517237595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10773823084277187,0.0,0.16605409500797558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17020368899153165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903625697562024,0.35850773959718946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17581468835827113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15483441010075694,0.0,0.0,0.1117290544630813,0.0,0.0,0.13351342804445807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26980223469134673,0.0,0.30242190568618305,0.15590138509409582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwawaythebipolar,2019/10/26,"Found a great new therapist through a bipolar class I want to ditch my current therapist because she's just not helping. She's not the worst I've had, but she's annoying. I'll say whatever I'm working through, and she'll say, ""Hmmm.... ok... yeah... ok... hmm... yeah... ok... hmmm..."" and then say something really vague or textbook or clinical. 

With my last therapist (who left private practice to work in a hospital), it was a genuine *conversation.* I event felt like she liked and respected me and that made it so much easier for us to get shit done.

But I've been avoiding switching because . . . what if the next person is WORSE?!

Meanwhile, I've been going to this six-week ""understanding bipolar"" class/group. The guy who runs it is weird but great. His feedback and perspective have really helped me accept myself, my experiences, and my disorder. I like the way he runs the group and I feel better prepared to manage the disorder. 

I mentioned on my last day that I wanted to switch therapists, and asked him how to do that. Just call triage, he said, and request someone specific if you want. For example one of the previous people who took the class asked to have him as her new therapist.

Fuck yes! I'm doing that! With my insurance you can only see a therapist once a month, and I've already seen this guy 6 times in this weekly class, so we've built 6 months worth of rapport. Also, before getting my current/old therapist, I had asked, ""Can you assign me to someone who specializes in bipolar disorder?"" and I was told, ""Everyone does bipolar."" But this guy literally specializes in it - he's been leading bipolar classes and groups for a decade.

Big relief. I had the worst episode of my life a month or so ago - upgraded from BPII to BPI - and really need to process some shit.",2.8565202558635363,5.452325961194031,3.99360341151386,83.47820895522389,78.94029850746269,7.649466950959487,28.07889125799573,8.591530228387361,2.4752533049040517,1387,62,256,32,35,450,176,335,0.09300000000000001,0.75,0.157,0.9729,2,1,1,0,0,0,84.0,1,3,0,4,7,22,4,1,17,6,18,10,2,3,0,42,41,29,0,6,13,0,2,3,0,1,7,4,0,4,17,15,0,1,5,0,1,5,2,8,0,1,16,8,34,14,28,24,4,28,0,0,2,1,40,7,3,6,18,150,51,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732626175504437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381416929254723,0.060738242455774985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21301269209415213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259843835564116,0.0,0.0646289784878476,0.0,0.0,0.06717276963869905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07755478868292559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04898231753328682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26114037545832164,0.0,0.066465511184406,0.07772456918936242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725747402366163,0.0,0.07429496400992854,0.0,0.0,0.03840326902631951,0.0,0.0729251771077158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08327670115994161,0.0,0.07021577065852616,0.0793628589249443,0.0,0.043164884951865684,0.0,0.0,0.16747319491190096,0.0,0.22561124091956386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10181713643532024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382092433242985,0.0,0.0,0.0825213304489608,0.0,0.053646662838250314,0.11131793421075764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07186697457264073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18187085489912092,0.0,0.05583295862027611,0.05631694074807025,0.0,0.14670851456770193,0.08077508952768539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969813302408027,0.08088567607452649,0.05146657946788297,0.05776440068444159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05265508151138205,0.06631776227223367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14596907960915242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224709715539428,0.1811986122688345,0.0,0.0,0.06052336788418535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15592587524343926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287066124295126,0.058471036100417616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6172973480791178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044287824960260055,0.0,0.0,0.0725747402366163,0.08438471014817098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07906800176580203,0.09136008525602483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13439416753447533,0.06028662187054561,0.12184713376214555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058692978306647,0.0,0.07740088288086286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,WhichProgress3,2019/10/26,"Buspar Reactions My doc gave me buspar to deal with my anxiety and told me to take valerian root till the meds kicked in. I took the herb the night before taking the meds the first time (two nights ago). After taking the meds I felt like crap and thought it was the valerian. Today was day two with meds but w/out valerian. I felt alright when I took it this morning and felt pretty good (other than anxious) all day. When I got home this evening my mood dipped and all I want to do is cry. When I took my second dose an hour ago I began to feel like I did the first morning; shakey, clumsy, tired, and nauseous. It's way too soon for the meds to kick in, right?",2.5694747474747466,4.088259940740741,3.61858585858586,90.97818181818182,75.51851851851852,6.390572390572393,21.161616161616163,6.980632752743323,0.3094444444444444,512,12,113,5,11,165,80,135,0.078,0.8009999999999999,0.12,0.7140000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,6,6,1,0,10,1,5,3,1,1,2,17,21,10,0,1,1,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,6,7,0,0,5,0,0,3,0,1,0,5,14,4,15,4,13,7,2,25,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,20,68,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18946724926116132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175510024313673,0.1207324484573766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093832374952708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739145099066566,0.13784435261286834,0.1101780654469224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07058649132496822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054036579154849294,0.07634780251276259,0.307835286297773,0.0,0.0,0.18180678513915507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963731318640487,0.08547353736776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719911746951497,0.0,0.10524522025814112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10442236673847384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5935412478486449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20058012507655207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872500134610344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126622053855048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410583559620421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484267932596241,0.06231663657125281,0.12283110754499535,0.1013000691869506,0.10211866840686998,0.3562088216700179,0.0,0.0,0.2087925207895121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06303457367088232,0.08482826845947848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CWM030,2019/10/26,"Latuda and drowsiness Hi,

This is my first time posting on Reddit.. I sometimes read reddit but i've never made a post before. 

Anyways I take Latuda 60 MG. I take mine in the morning because to me, taking Latuda at night, it wears off too fast mid day and my mania comes back out.  

Has anyone else felt like this, that the medicine wears off too fast during the day because you're taking it at night? 

But anyways, I have noticed that while taking it during the day I am fine except between 5 to 7 pm I get very very drowsy and wind up falling asleep for 30 min ( Like I did earlier tonight ) which throws off my nighttime sleeping. 

I am wondering is this happening to anyone else out there? And what did you do to combat the sleepyness?

​

Thanks,

Chris",2.948367346938774,5.260754687074833,3.4356122448979605,89.13260204081635,76.95918367346937,5.2884353741496595,24.105442176870746,6.1826913282559595,0.6803278911564621,597,20,112,4,14,186,94,147,0.034,0.8759999999999999,0.09,0.8438,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,1,6,4,0,0,6,0,9,4,4,1,1,14,21,7,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,0,2,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,4,1,14,4,17,17,0,30,0,0,0,0,2,11,0,1,16,71,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14453937001085213,0.1620961909632544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18655344197496315,0.2733691233130171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025767388201158,0.0,0.16263939523340473,0.0,0.11351398751937924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11491270593806972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580968310766025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22287797566390266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12808538580894202,0.0,0.0,0.11347038458761916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06969624762986419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11796560852561815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13034547752763925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622676461191856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288667808720424,0.0,0.0,0.25037463718033043,0.0,0.0,0.15187733660501174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555215790975616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343658529425986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13349682546345296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13193649093247595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5015028149826957,0.0,0.0,0.12281724387789388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778689571497267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201387422849005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14466713574649984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620961909632544,0.0
bipolarreddit,mogonzo22,2019/10/26,"Life is a Blur, Anyone Else? I’m 22 F and I don’t even remember when I was diagnosed BP because my life is a blur. My memory has been awful for many years and I don’t know if that’s from smoking too much weed and experimenting with too many drugs or it’s because of medication or a subconscious desire to forget everything awful in my life. 

In high school my oldest brother passed away and it destroyed me. I’m probably an alcoholic and an addict but that’s too much for me to handle. I tore my ACLs which prevented me from doing the one thing I loved and was amazing at, sports. The last time I can remember being stable was in middle school. Once I hit high school everything changed.

I’ve been to therapy off an on (I usually just stop going when I feel better) and I’ve been on medication (lamictal at first and now abilify). I have never been stable enough to commit to anything long term except my boyfriend of 3 years who really is just my best friend. I don’t understand myself anymore and I feel so dull and apathetic that I can’t even articulate what I’m feeling. In my ups, I am like a superhero - I exercise, makes life goals and plans, spend a lot of money, am sexually active and overall I enjoy being manic. I also have broken my hand from punching a wall. I have blacked out on alcohol so many times that college seems like it didn’t happen. At the same time I also experimented with drugs - weed was used more as a medication for headaches, nausea and to sleep; I did shrooms multiple times with friends and it was the most amazing experience and opened up my mind to another world where I could contemplate life and it’s meaning. I went to a deadmau5 concert on acid and felt completely out of this world in a good way. I’ve experimented with pain killers, Xanax, ketamine, cocaine, adderalls and molly. Each time I’m on a drug I actually feel something inside me. I feel alive and I almost in control (even though most people would assume the opposite). 

Side note I have been sober from drugs since May of this year and I miss it dearly. I miss feeling something (does anyone else feel like that)? The reason for it is because something happened with my college and I got my diploma taken away and will hopefully get it back in January (too long of a story - if you’re curious, pm me). 

I’ve gained some weight and feel unmotivated to go to the gym. Some days I can get myself to paint or draw. I try to journal to keep track of my feelings but in the end, I just feel alone. I feel hopeless and discouraged. I know people say to take it one day at a time and I have. But for me, I need that spark back, that part of myself that makes me truly me. I feel distant when around friends and sometimes even my boyfriend. I feel self conscious and anxious most of the time. I can barely get out of bed but I do it anyways and I get to my part time job at a wonderful nonprofit organization yet it feels unfulfilling. I’m probably forgetting a lot of things to say but I just wanted to write this down somewhere and maybe someone will have some advice. I am planning on getting a therapist and trying to get back into physical therapy. I can go through the motions, I’m just not all here. 

Does anyone else feel anything like I do? Am I truly alone? When I’m done with my drug testing (to get my diploma) I think I should smoke weed again to stabilize myself (any thoughts on this)?",3.0710169491525434,5.105352215568863,4.405832741297068,83.64074038363951,75.49700598802394,7.522825535369939,26.74119557495179,8.388109219054641,1.9060680198924187,2672,103,523,50,59,882,297,668,0.078,0.763,0.159,0.996,1,2,12,0,0,1,71.0,0,0,0,8,32,23,1,0,28,2,47,24,2,5,3,124,105,50,0,9,17,1,18,4,3,5,20,3,1,1,28,43,3,5,29,4,2,6,7,7,0,3,18,23,77,16,80,78,19,80,0,5,1,1,10,40,0,21,37,354,105,9,0.0,0.0,0.050970017191269285,0.05693960638581684,0.0,0.05103962443528321,0.0,0.11163831847528756,0.05230189984947075,0.10819133084180642,0.0,0.08353838035044629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035518937699578625,0.05476886033380948,0.0,0.059006273713996936,0.051799214270539316,0.10956359440029992,0.16055079676446102,0.08596348650101714,0.04649675082822291,0.0,0.0,0.09814567176893917,0.12048747091464525,0.0,0.0955187775911115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054813314915786115,0.04619416163841443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05525357605474928,0.0,0.05476331248225904,0.0,0.05858161767262605,0.04170228164511329,0.0,0.0,0.06736947443814273,0.0,0.0,0.053013464982547116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09141557162363736,0.05345054747215676,0.0,0.0,0.3028574568395057,0.0,0.13089714061495045,0.0,0.04626124978930159,0.05396868645453455,0.0,0.13799259042119644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388388594777347,0.20436814470235026,0.0,0.0,0.39614418753026026,0.07462781365062264,0.05015004498017697,0.0,0.0,0.04442774525015177,0.0,0.0,0.12106085017799713,0.0,0.19102015050808854,0.0,0.08905240992570145,0.043808966888728006,0.04177398044740342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923755748762508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037004538101024,0.0,0.051877265519648295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05183130534359022,0.04642539974882329,0.0,0.0,0.05740969096507405,0.04257531603650669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18446184576286664,0.10206990469192777,0.0,0.0,0.0924457561715064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881002338298823,0.04714060515522585,0.0,0.06972932695084319,0.1588624060366864,0.05247315824657056,0.056894977759284926,0.0,0.15785200864066534,0.0,0.0,0.05273851953635356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679173358872657,0.03872869732616476,0.0402838426987356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055624414698340736,0.0707862874704516,0.0,0.0555775708052206,0.0,0.0,0.11312237843414565,0.0,0.07242093364628394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262791536949812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03346057881263389,0.05370226778920144,0.0,0.0,0.11833530430964735,0.0,0.0,0.08307253101541197,0.0,0.15858197888955552,0.0,0.0475492299281168,0.0544884263608519,0.0,0.0,0.04320610398121981,0.0,0.05226881864328672,0.0,0.0442552398128035,0.12063015299128735,0.05165789143704524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043667536655822715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03927128543233343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946162502572275,0.06064433045351843,0.06940004125330061,0.033467578579226595,0.051316788562760784,0.0414656575171174,0.2436509860566387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092297396325302,0.0,0.0,0.05437441501431941,0.0,0.045110898650939986,0.05752517525890004,0.0,0.030807254843194017,0.04145861441028844,0.0,0.0636034061865083,0.0,0.048418751098229636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0566423977178967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037103473413757776,0.0,0.0,0.10090534388464223
bipolarreddit,8_______8,2019/07/25,"Burned myself I am 26 years old. Recently have had to moved back home with my mom basically because of bipolar reasons. Job loss, can’t afford expensive rent, debt etc etc. So anyway, mom is going away August long weekend with her new boyfriend. 

Mom: “no parties while we’re going to be away next weekend”

Me: “mom, I don’t have any friends. You don’t have to worry about that”


~neither of us laugh or even say anything for a few excruciatingly painful moments~

It was meant to be a joke but damn truth does hurt",2.6930303030303016,5.145732898989898,3.40837373737374,88.2592272727273,78.5959595959596,5.576161616161617,26.061616161616165,6.742157984588678,1.0488658585858586,403,16,79,4,10,127,79,99,0.18,0.721,0.099,-0.8294,4,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,1,0,1,5,8,1,0,2,0,12,2,0,1,1,7,15,4,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,2,1,2,0,2,2,0,0,2,3,3,3,5,4,0,0,3,1,8,4,12,10,4,17,0,2,0,0,9,2,1,1,12,48,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564600149151167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574197161574135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26428833958366765,0.1081502391792848,0.0,0.08573819803977609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12308270553887565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137211634210626,0.09289720050805386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086649076672297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15986789929019368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14108220599894555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505674406129069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395722234186874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12446975480306555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6589046603798235,0.0,0.1494874069954713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358394795797408,0.14958158572840394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475872473437395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14966023097570816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446103830161693,0.1388737139275064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118495644859616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16918317893283766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14283567535001992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09057321058156237
bipolarreddit,izm17,2019/07/25,"How long did it take you to find the right cocktail of meds? I’ve been recently diagnosed with bipolar 2 (after having a hunch for quite some time it was what was going on with m’brain).

My psychiatrist started me out on 50mg of seroquel in addition to the lexapro I’ve already been taking. I haven’t been on this combo for terribly long and I’ll be going in for a follow up soon but I wanted to get a feel for how long it’s taken others to find their cocktail of medications that works for them. 

Also, I’ve had issues in the past of meds not working (my doc had me on 80mg of Prozac at one point cause it kept losing its effect), is it possible that even when I find the correct combo that it’ll be short lived? 

(I’ll be asking my doc these questions, just wanted to hear others experiences)",6.846211656441718,5.328573214723928,7.486311349693253,77.67952837423316,65.31901840490798,10.113190184049081,32.03144171779141,8.841846274778883,2.4253809815950915,626,19,128,8,8,209,100,163,0.04,0.96,0.0,-0.7236,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,2,5,7,2,0,0,7,0,15,4,0,4,1,22,29,6,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,15,5,2,1,6,2,0,3,2,2,0,1,10,2,11,0,28,15,1,26,0,1,0,0,6,13,0,2,10,87,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15858149593795218,0.11492044162197895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13434431453610535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16042175475908674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14762411300920472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145857048751678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09491547098016033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14057058171425946,0.0,0.0,0.07266131612954971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3940299454902368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750796732608637,0.0,0.16334116499476262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16196542251814208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14999016878231974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689371168905192,0.3815218973867937,0.0,0.16076858415475873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31924662086598804,0.14476717143107976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737789244607008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13718221159154936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358472076809135,0.16200523864701066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609819351711792,0.15284743119169428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189086314878294,0.0,0.0,0.12272286303500578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10171478907195793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21609580870560588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379525315728117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695212819252028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20923718392975066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,EqualArm1,2019/07/25,Bipolar without hypersexulity There’s a lot pointing towards me having some form of bipolar. I’ve gone from staying up until 1 am feeling terrible to thinking I’m going to start a revolution and save the world. All the signs are there except I’ve never felt hyper sexual. I almost have a smaller sex drive while “hypomanic” as I find it so hard to concentrate on anything. Is hypersexuality a requirement for having bipolar or is it possible to have bipolar without that?,8.145930232558143,8.66485336046512,9.366837209302327,58.542116279069774,61.906976744186046,11.066046511627908,41.61860465116279,10.793553405168565,5.0636306976744185,383,21,56,9,5,133,65,86,0.062,0.88,0.057999999999999996,-0.0686,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,6,0,8,5,0,0,2,17,15,6,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,4,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,2,3,3,1,15,13,4,13,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,4,4,46,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26700439535151393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21942442627869835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13482268594188138,0.0,0.2560190447253683,0.0,0.2437068233015505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15153933181038282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23885970687980945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266902986581332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20565147906993747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520637719332051,0.3005998593818868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18873125059066104,0.2842059039812818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708540341391844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5140685722825764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Nordakk,2019/07/25,"Does anyone else get physically uncomfortable off meds? I really don't know if this is related to bipolar, but I've noticed while off meds (or back when I was on meds that didn't help) I would get super uncomfortable with my body. My hair would feel thinner, my skin dry, my clothes would just feel awful, my stomache/moobs would feel massive (I am skinny, they were like non-existent.) It would cause me to be super irritated and snappy. The thing is, nothing about my body actually changed, it was just the way I felt that had changed. Does anybody know what I mean? It's very hard for me to describe that feeling and every time I bring it up nobody can relate.",5.7779687499999985,6.328758359375001,6.045312500000001,80.21843750000002,66.96875,8.9,30.84375,8.841846274778883,2.329028125,522,19,102,8,8,167,86,128,0.11,0.774,0.11599999999999999,0.4254,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,2,5,3,0,0,2,1,16,6,5,1,0,22,27,7,0,6,5,0,8,1,0,5,1,0,0,0,10,3,1,0,8,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,8,16,3,10,15,0,10,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,2,5,64,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.12988429262372114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306510467774133,0.13637446625188884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234402361846101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29568339182003883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13672814556527316,0.2815997339718917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329496341069132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118616690175001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214067098909668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26919306896986245,0.0,0.12779479930043705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907625638318913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192295219068983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921267682955186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14629418453526308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502488178163951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14498256715073018,0.4435250877300583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12771096752023325,0.1515327734475028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526588471709713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842429101422818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07761042107432188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10981965745301084,0.0,0.10564687050492697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4727444352377474,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kylecordova1,2019/07/25,"Journey through Hypersexual, Highly Risky Sexual Behaviors Okay, so I'm a 21 y.o guy, and I have answered yes to all but one hypersexual questions, because I can maintain a relationship with my current female partner and newly mother to my son, and hopefully life partner soon. With the recent very open opinion and comfortable identification about sexual orientation, I have identified as a bisexual and to be alittle more in depth a mix of closet crossdresser, highly excited versatile, hypersexual very open to all ages below golden and have had multiple partners (male and female) the far past and even more so many more males in recent from casual light oral only encounters to fast adult video sexual activities and house parties with multiple sexual partners in the hour hyped up drunk half the time unprotected and taking and giving as much loads I could possibly get, overall I was numbering in over 250+ about half unprotected. Now I know that sounds like a mouthful and it really was, I absolutely loved the slut life, that is however until one night on an exciting encounter with a man in his early 30's outside a adult theatre, he took me to a secluded location and I gave him a blow bareback and was so excited I let him in me totally unprotected and he came in meh like alot, we then parted ways, I felt so excited in a dirty way I pulled over and fingered to fish out his long strand of cum still intact, then I swallowed it all making it apart of me. Two days later I felt sick, like I cought the flu, headache, nausea, vomit, loss of appetite, fatigue, and reoccurring watery stool, I then started researching such symptoms and realised a possible infection. The possibilities were many however one in particular took me in deepest thoughts, that was HIV. Now I know since then that such symptoms may occur days after possible exposure and the criteria of symptoms include a acute or viral window and that viruses may overlap with that of others possibilities I just could not shake the thought and possibility. My life flashed before my mind, started with a shock, how could I let this happen, then information and more research, followed by a drowning sadness and anger manifested. I yelled, screamed, and cried. I fell into what my therapist concluded as acute stress disorder (ASD). Then I started acting weirder and different, avoiding all the adult theatres, outings, contacts, and sexual actions even masturbation. I became a germaphobe. Washing and wiping all items around my house and being especially cautious in public. Significant changes in sex with my girlfriend, next to none at all. Would cry when I felt sick or any smallest sign of abnormal bodily cosmetic behavior. Ofcourse I got tested and the results were reassuring, all negative. The conclusion was that since I swallowed semen that had been in my rectal, I may have very well ingested e. Coli or h. Pylori bacteria found in stool or in the rectal area. Amazing, after all that not even the common forms of STD. There was still time to wait however, 3 months or 12 weeks to get a test for HIV that was 99.97% accurate, that test is still coming in 2 weeks. Hoping for the best, negative. What really took the crown in my mountian of near depression and stress was looking at my son, hearing him cry, and the pain I would cause him if I go much too soon or infect him through his mother because at that time my status was still unknown. I was devastated. And as I am fighting the aftermath of stress and anxiety,  I promised him and myself to live so much more responsibility, and walk away from such habits. In a world of acceptance and influence even ones we dont intend, it can be hard, but I hope my story helps someone to see just what could be, and what can be. You are so beautiful in every way and have much potential, life is precious and time ininvaluable, live to your fullest potential and remember gratitude.",10.572724358974364,9.108797032763533,10.110924145299153,61.6453605769231,58.017094017094024,13.618304843304848,42.877670940170944,12.43973731371274,5.504146581196581,3135,147,504,85,32,1020,361,702,0.152,0.7140000000000001,0.134,-0.9249,8,1,0,0,2,0,84.0,2,2,0,5,31,36,2,5,37,2,45,28,2,7,9,118,80,68,1,10,13,4,5,3,5,5,20,4,2,11,22,56,4,2,16,3,0,14,6,15,1,7,27,12,62,21,79,37,24,103,0,4,2,6,43,42,0,16,47,362,84,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04177390373791686,0.0,0.04699310376045796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054684934826953815,0.0,0.0,0.05771467434423705,0.0,0.0,0.07489323496484937,0.0,0.05227165120040811,0.0,0.06446606484166716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025854104883779,0.0,0.06310462108905443,0.0649838569725622,0.052915742055703735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19618459468906094,0.0,0.2024309903818451,0.07923339272858974,0.0,0.052908805525466715,0.0,0.0,0.06418034918527776,0.07040308614742999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199446363188884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16229340070801826,0.0,0.05175667761880777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769447472646937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673538523740028,0.0,0.0,0.06418835291930118,0.05892840324075286,0.034911580889893344,0.0,0.04913047379736681,0.0,0.0,0.06082448032944526,0.0543215622783253,0.0,0.05502841987257152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06923507555231623,0.0,0.041174639971852285,0.12980646240865856,0.0,0.1830389113267189,0.060495302937363514,0.14176189891339336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06751966864220182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256308611990924,0.17355679842435998,0.09003348599280159,0.0,0.10848606547389783,0.05436283246913177,0.051584984101280665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05544217337121865,0.0,0.04100441032881471,0.1245589590071764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062025893258007475,0.0,0.049032132402724256,0.0,0.180629866463674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06533055920521523,0.0576470617856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16650382867673635,0.0467196089900369,0.0653649079384513,0.0,0.0,0.06652174379877729,0.05864103977446716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4155125740992191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06881466593825744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870612630121149,0.0,0.121307677620993,0.06595187879585361,0.06958721081186715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048951050280192684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016295951116418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052048688603105714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13043952832703104,0.0,0.19622947786924724,0.0,0.2111005262235173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19154510943471906,0.04618704847510165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07132393553103794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975357089899702,0.14327924054580182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20475001641912693,0.0,0.0,0.0600073179819311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15205635627655611,0.0,0.14627871324288075,0.09854945915603412,0.0,0.05523215046088417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727495961947436,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Not-Blink-182,2019/07/25,I don’t know what to title this When I’m manic in school I can’t fucking get myself to shut the fuck up and stop being a retard And when it’s over I just feel guilty and mad at myself for being a fucking retard And I keep thinking wow so that’s why everyone fucking hates me And then I’m thrown into a state of depression for a week and don’t talk to anyone and even then nobody gives a fuck It makes you feel so lonely and worthless Idek why I wrote this paragraph I’ve just been thinking a lot lately No music sounds good Nothing sounds fun I don’t even feel like doing drugs But I don’t want to cry either or be depressed I just sit and watch tv and feel emotionless until I either become depressed or happy or something changes my mood,2.0756593406593424,3.932590705128206,3.3544322344322346,90.8596153846154,77.84615384615384,5.2263736263736265,20.75824175824176,5.773587663045528,0.05000879120879143,594,15,122,3,14,193,94,156,0.287,0.632,0.08199999999999999,-0.9879,0,2,2,0,0,0,0.0,0,1,0,0,9,18,7,0,7,0,10,6,0,1,0,33,31,21,0,1,9,0,4,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,6,11,0,2,7,1,0,0,6,12,0,0,2,7,14,5,13,26,3,16,0,5,1,5,4,6,5,4,9,79,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09163032576958044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472987792641395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862916422766905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14394774496207227,0.0,0.0,0.3386088714329447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15197161566583975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17310913469877778,0.0,0.0,0.12521995351149887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26504293623301683,0.09361920235056713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6057490188024575,0.06846606321097944,0.12571114844700385,0.0,0.10991506612068364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13950077529479266,0.0,0.12938067528887953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11647959870936922,0.0,0.0,0.07201938811318709,0.0,0.14782545979835446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402239723913553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11141052032925534,0.0,0.0,0.08747414201548671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12574205550779474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13262542604932032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088552020155092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10956022293433933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10532971384540453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16793781609953298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07729425488820832,0.0,0.10511709980263388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23649704635720056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,goopyoopygoops,2019/07/25,am I manic or just happy? am I depressed or just sad? how do you guys differentiate between (hyper)manic/depressive episodes and just heightened emotions? It feels like they just blend together sometimes and I’m stuck trying to decide if I’m actually feeling a certain way or if it’s my disorder.,3.447698412698412,6.605365092592592,5.337089947089948,70.53833333333333,83.25925925925927,7.530158730158732,33.64021164021164,8.418075326091056,3.6868656084656095,241,14,37,6,7,82,41,54,0.193,0.645,0.162,-0.4291,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,1,0,5,5,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,1,16,8,8,0,2,9,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,5,3,2,7,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,5,1,25,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.27653465751375433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4881436538743926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3247741030507507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187605029825804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865674194658621,0.2024442802464876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28058735949666497,0.0,0.3016596311366693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13844347957802258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28026667644273306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923940916204416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249311334136204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,doncrotti,2019/07/25,drug tests and prescriptions given by a doctor Anyone who is an electrician ever got pissed hot for a prescription given by a doctor and get fired for it? What drug was it and do they have a list of drugs the companies they are lenient?,9.421956521739132,7.071310760869565,9.027826086956527,71.30304347826089,60.95652173913043,12.678260869565218,33.869565217391305,11.20814326018867,3.574947826086956,189,5,35,4,2,61,34,46,0.166,0.792,0.043,-0.7941,0,0,3,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,6,0,5,6,1,0,1,4,9,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,2,2,0,5,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,26,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16250421373319507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4757563435528286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.808554189002105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21022522437579674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142294241630948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18587692063959635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Jeq1014,2019/07/25,Well guys... Started another fight with my boyfriend. Now what? I went manic and started a huge argument over something so small with my boyfriend.. What the fuck do I do to fix my mess again? I feel like such a waste of space it's literally unreal.,1.0348214285714263,3.648782125,2.0801190476190503,92.3625,92.33333333333334,6.076190476190478,23.523809523809533,7.447530270364453,1.3206809523809528,194,8,40,4,7,61,38,48,0.259,0.616,0.125,-0.8105,0,0,1,0,1,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,2,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,7,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,1,6,2,5,6,0,9,0,0,0,1,2,4,1,0,5,25,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660996959740648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17653372826918035,0.2494229359729473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3227707456140823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34569968051132066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17057028778791727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26878206622187145,0.0,0.0,0.4942407292202536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31391532923689497,0.3236527097417665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,newreddditwhodis,2019/07/25,"I hurt myself for the first time in years I feel like I'm losing myself. I don't control anything. I'm just floating through life, still a child. I've never paid rent or bills. I went from living with my mom and helping our with expenses to moving in with my husband and doing the stay at home mom gig while he worked. Nothing I could do would pay for childcare. It feels like he makes all the decisions. Where we live. Where he works. His decisions even over ride things I'm planning. I'm just the support role. He's getting a vasectomy today. I desperately want another kid. It's all I can think about. But I don't know if it's real or if I want a reason that I can't get a job for another few years or if I'm just desperate for something to make me happy. I'm just this hungry ghost wandering through life consuming anything and everything to try and fill the hole in my chest. 


I'm medicated now. Its pushed me too far down. I got something else to push me up, but that's weeks away. I miss the hypomania. It felt good. I was happy, productive, I loved everyone and had so many great ideas. The depression is worse. I feel like I'm drowning in dark water so no one can see. I used to be able to swim up but it's too strong and I'm too tired. I cry constantly. It's just silent tears dripping down my face. My kids don't even notice anymore. It's just my default state. 


I needed some control back. I can't control my future. I can't control my family planning. I can't control our money. I can't control my mood or even my thoughts anymore. But I can control my pain. It hurt more than I remember. But it's so freeing in a really fucked up way. I don't even feel bad about it. I needed it. It's not healthy. But it's just for now. 


I'm sorry this is such a downer post. I just needed it out.",-0.07297619047619007,2.188196682539683,2.1532076719576736,93.65139880952385,90.11111111111113,5.266402116402117,20.573412698412696,6.816661863887847,0.4307476190476187,1398,48,310,20,48,470,185,378,0.14400000000000002,0.73,0.127,-0.6805,2,0,2,0,0,2,47.0,3,0,0,14,29,20,1,0,13,0,21,10,2,11,3,68,57,23,2,10,22,3,5,3,0,1,5,0,2,3,20,11,1,7,13,1,7,7,12,8,0,2,7,6,47,12,34,47,5,42,0,5,1,2,17,17,1,8,17,190,67,4,0.0759493478882062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592790268128354,0.0,0.0,0.1506426898130631,0.0,0.0,0.12499968401632025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07135691244061929,0.058400360452566615,0.06341453308027152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207426356700215,0.5962855623252955,0.06063937423404848,0.0,0.0834267923485651,0.0,0.0,0.06541506204644236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0634459345531355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20065531193920294,0.0,0.0,0.07257285664498124,0.06825837663969735,0.0,0.07159828587013656,0.0,0.15360908925938313,0.16277468792019534,0.07292328442090579,0.0,0.0,0.06460247651496585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021394829115933,0.07936079915570891,0.0,0.0,0.06370270961622343,0.06074363161116765,0.08373442417149914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616989861987618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050907246945921004,0.0,0.07618338846318362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16261069547220078,0.0857375691793868,0.0,0.0,0.07536800860241433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04173977535231741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729054100500082,0.11131504508529846,0.0,0.13412933128368587,0.0,0.0,0.08496789319609459,0.0,0.0,0.0685472517296239,0.0,0.10139355894345853,0.07700071803712147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765109777207216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17790191663962696,0.0,0.08072213725928798,0.0,0.1689464373252365,0.0585768192201641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07287544766397375,0.08646883595961119,0.0,0.0,0.05146524371362116,0.0,0.08081546098022721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07273848093803999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08644698532509074,0.048655097051385036,0.07808857897510434,0.0,0.0,0.08603580571680276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06052179707168087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693903710751948,0.0,0.08501907689615151,0.0,0.08095189946654012,0.06065324733129367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861864199430443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0504573719638484,0.04866527542650556,0.0,0.06029529859875216,0.044286675522089716,0.08729260279707604,0.0719911012738653,0.0,0.0,0.05156462176996182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06559585129196717,0.0,0.0,0.08959378632843001,0.06028505720250421,0.06092198568187618,0.0,0.0,0.0704058063963233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058405962996354,0.0,0.0773988740323976,0.053952237646535936,0.0,0.0,0.097817779885643
bipolarreddit,Hannahcr_,2019/07/25,"Missed a dose. I missed a dose of Latuda last night. I take it at 8pm every night, and it’s 8:50am right now. Should I take a dose right now, or wait until tonight? It was my first time ever missing a dose, and I’m sort of freaking out.",0.07384615384615145,1.7075956153846192,1.6275384615384638,101.91746153846157,83.23076923076924,4.16,16.16923076923077,3.1291,-1.280543076923077,180,3,46,0,5,58,34,52,0.203,0.797,0.0,-0.8268,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,4,0,2,4,0,0,1,8,9,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,4,0,5,7,0,14,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,2,10,25,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615901682637936,0.2436562183216505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459860481202352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357295802504085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5427730572462268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4939357329257972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4348718690858371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16862982479531285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Playedyoself,2019/07/25,"Anyone Else Got a Tic? I know it sounds weird, but let me explain.

The first time I met my psychologist, he notice some odd patterns of mine. Whenever I stress out, nervous, uncomfortable, or being put on the spot, I tend to scratch. I just feel itchy. What's worse is that I stress out all the time, so I'm usually itchy. He thinks it may be associated with my depressive episodes, seeing as I tend to do it more frequently when it happens. I also tend to divert my attention away when I stress out. People tend to think I'm lying when I do it. Sometimes I don't lie, but I just have trouble looking at them. Makes me feel itchy.

I'm not the only one with some sort of repeated tic am I?",1.8862582417582416,3.8372384500000014,3.6128571428571448,88.34137362637364,78.78571428571429,6.87912087912088,23.62637362637363,7.882392219407189,1.1510439560439565,533,18,115,9,13,178,88,140,0.29600000000000004,0.7040000000000001,0.0,-0.9925,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,1,7,7,0,4,5,0,10,0,0,1,1,24,29,9,0,0,6,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,7,5,0,0,7,0,0,1,2,7,0,2,2,6,20,0,15,23,4,16,0,1,2,0,5,6,0,5,9,74,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399144969393977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223352677662033,0.17926597625573934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643795610439676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15069176646069551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461556353149043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17692886225867294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488198741883674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399305429417141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547154976440628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961527862657647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17890723678270648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14692133568064153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167863640798716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991917645098767,0.0,0.0,0.11855661745042335,0.13306405875432112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129440930616732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17588192773771055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13941951937051392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17303873651952106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6012441763043107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22421308151049088,0.0,0.0,0.20403977788348804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19269241093580014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17829797427586738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,likeaparasite,2019/07/25,"Putting FMLA on file My psychiatrist moved his schedule and instead of taking one hour off of work at a little-busy time of the day, I now need two hours at the absolutely-madhouse time. There's been comments from management about not having coverage for my shift. So I'm stuck on two options 1) I see my Dr on Monday, I can have him fill out everything to get me set up with intermittent FMLA for appointment protection 2) Not bring it up until I'm actually denied an appointment. (Or even #3 Get a new Dr with hours that fit my job)",4.892560646900272,5.653782433962263,6.234582210242587,77.33481132075472,69.0,9.830727762803237,30.23719676549865,9.957137785484203,2.8796215633423183,422,16,83,10,7,143,80,106,0.051,0.924,0.025,-0.3976,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,5,0,4,2,0,0,0,9,13,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,2,1,10,0,20,11,0,26,0,0,1,0,3,10,0,2,11,53,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.1975295958809001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13054208919076465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13369438604548134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18191916613840955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21150884502705888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5980193168344864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20086743859785536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21513702232671528,0.0,0.15008949090842005,0.0,0.19549540485427927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371628609176003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20348478989201174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16129998102057178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15219224102010015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360617254215613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3954635986839056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473618397216861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,unearthlynightowl,2019/07/25,"Recently diagnosed... And I'm [26F] devastated. I was diagnosed with mixed features after 5 years of having an ""unspecified mood disorder"" and it's left me with so many questions, most that I'll be asking my psychiatrist, but I want to ask others with a bipolar diagnosis some questions to better inform myself in order to somehow manage it enough so that I move forward toward my own goals... 
My life has gotten far out of control to where I've been unemployed for years due to the cyclical nature of  it. I've isolated a lot, so I don't have many supports anymore. If anyone has tips or ideas that help them function in the world while having Bipolar with mixed features, please do share. That, or links to any resources like articles/documentaries/etc. would be helpful.  

I didn't realize I was experiencing hypomania due to how mixed the highs and lows get- I have an ADD diagnosis, so all this time I thought it was hyperactivity, however it's been so bad that I'll get around 8-10hrs of sleep per week, then when it stops I'll randomly flop to 3-4 days straight of sleeping. 

Has this happened to any of you, that you didn't realize what exactly you were experiencing? 

Also, I've been tracking my pupils for a good year now and notice they dilate when my energy is elevated. Does anyone else notice similar changes in their eyes when they experience hypomania/mania?  What else do you all notice when hypomania/mania strikes?

If questions or any of what I've written isn't allowed, feel free to delete/let me know. 
I appreciate any information otherwise.",7.296040024257122,7.646998701030931,7.954610875277947,68.52038204972712,63.70790378006873,11.108227208409138,36.01799070143521,10.843485225782073,4.061331756620174,1246,55,217,31,17,416,168,291,0.1,0.785,0.115,0.6469,4,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,4,4,3,15,9,0,0,8,0,24,8,3,3,3,43,37,23,0,4,6,0,1,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,18,11,0,2,12,0,1,2,4,2,0,0,12,4,25,7,30,22,7,34,0,1,1,0,18,14,0,13,20,138,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601936112095739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925904300079257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10667516653847997,0.15042332004192618,0.1102126304676102,0.0,0.09575528717855286,0.20111673682288675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981193691764927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09513213579160368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11378907017204028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206428303850772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937025982444424,0.0,0.0,0.21835158256489168,0.0,0.0,0.12327833531550145,0.0,0.09413049468501453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17971281960097688,0.0,0.0,0.11114297188625176,0.11996294758346708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521880581730493,0.0,0.0,0.054387886989083686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239611397098127,0.0,0.0,0.09022007195564276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511900878018167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441965501999616,0.1136478915528179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142732557637095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05911468379265612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686923817790015,0.10999207762316462,0.07597604864806122,0.052550623763857364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144756506523677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21810721596608626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11432413276956598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.367388984669344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180736151560479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36149086324408497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10620705267656387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21528453711366166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992881090349725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220630182876934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539426675786173,0.06272177551552023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06344438013725298,0.0,0.08628182325386864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641079621201492,0.0,0.0,0.20780420157142912
bipolarreddit,MertensianaC514,2019/07/25,"i. am. not. okay. IAMNOTOKAY! <sorry, just need to be honest somewhere> Fuck.  I have seen and responded to so many cries for help on here and related subs.  I guess it's my turn...  Seriously, **don't read this if you are at any risk of self-harm/suicide/substance abuse**.  Seriously.

​

I just feel like I can't take this.  I have no suicidal intent, I am just really struggling to resist these self-harm urges right now, and feeling exhausted and wishing I could just give it all up...  

Every time I hold a knife, I am afraid I might use it.  Honestly, I will hold it, and just press it as hard as I can into my wrist, or the side of my neck, and just think about cutting myself (I used to cut, a lot, but it's been years).  But I don't, I just keep it still, it leaves a little dent in my skin, but that fades after a couple minutes... I know how dangerous this is.  I just feel like it is the only thing I can do to satisfy the urge to some extent without causing any real damage...

I have been in this mixed state for several weeks, not quite sure how long honestly.  Longer than ever before.  New meds not helping so far...

I am trying to function.  I am trying so hard to be a decent parent, to do well at my new job, but honestly sometimes I have to devote so much energy to resisting the urge to injure myself and/or burst into tears at any given second.  It is so hard to focus on anything else...

So instead of engaging in any serious self-harm, tonight I have decided to go with a somewhat less unhealthy coping mechanism, trying to numb my brain with alcohol, might throw in a couple of my emergency klonopin... I really wish I could just get completely fucked up like I used to, but I have to maintain some level of functioning since I am a single mom...  Ok, I guess I'll throw in a healthy coping mechanism, and try to drown out my thoughts with music as well.

I am just so tired of this.  I just want to go back to being depressed - I can handle depression.  Right now I honestly feel insane, I am afraid of myself, I am not okay... thanks for reading my rant.",3.2245027372262776,4.656738532846717,4.578186587591244,85.11538207116791,73.64720194647201,7.862560827250607,25.25250912408759,8.472884824447931,1.6223290145985405,1591,51,324,28,32,528,209,411,0.188,0.679,0.133,-0.9683,2,0,1,0,2,2,94.0,0,1,0,1,30,34,5,4,13,3,37,11,4,7,3,72,65,26,2,7,23,2,9,3,0,3,5,0,0,0,18,13,1,3,8,2,0,4,9,17,2,1,5,10,49,17,55,52,9,40,0,3,1,2,7,21,2,10,17,229,67,3,0.0,0.0996674163647228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989777003308362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114304456667537,0.10221395289008786,0.2288155777869741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922287836520212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06468242027818506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715791858138238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390477137425286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641352042479776,0.0,0.0,0.08819730965170004,0.0,0.0,0.13432456441081744,0.1861524395596613,0.09240091676375267,0.0,0.0,0.14490337056217886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027074100067095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609057096321149,0.07087399688559852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17013264289857646,0.12018944966679306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555335644357286,0.04394877467213132,0.08069473660034014,0.09561368268207704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18533341553047886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22606265924133415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276656228297993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08347525888835472,0.07476894971752115,0.0,0.0,0.04622967513785218,0.0,0.0,0.08907001512915033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232890768771952,0.08430946932798565,0.0,0.07444278489988422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151507804628897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528359700526861,0.0,0.0,0.09343739254518192,0.0,0.0,0.17847421200223593,0.0,0.09851931093580496,0.0,0.0,0.061837241019796575,0.06237327063787975,0.0,0.16248556406761408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06397639057212211,0.0,0.0,0.09340434145186237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947105149642991,0.16828379201302165,0.09574598843651268,0.10777774012917957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14367455851611294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632638016777433,0.09503067579836942,0.0,0.06958421539803103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831959726414095,0.09416448153478002,0.0,0.0,0.06717764761582093,0.0,0.0,0.0879395811706969,0.0,0.09201267751148803,0.0,0.07928128656560843,0.0,0.06324711864020048,0.0,0.0,0.07744559514462163,0.0,0.0,0.05588501362331778,0.05390014331585386,0.0,0.06678119474846064,0.049050542439203815,0.09668256801057123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22844547608703936,0.0914974603891852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21795576545551326,0.0,0.0,0.04961564360819568,0.0,0.06747529384270272,0.0,0.1512664042533952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19346570119026554,0.08108784161817018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221395289008786,0.0541699631664182
bipolarreddit,randomusernumber10,2019/07/25,"Should I be honest with my psychiatrist I made a post awhile back about starting Cymbalta and it giving me a strong urge to smoke. I have never been a smoker and it’s not in my health records. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow and I wonder if I should tell her this or just explain that I’m really anxious ( which I feel causes me to smoke)

I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal but many life insurance plans hold it against you if you’ve ever been a smoker. Having a Bipolar 2 I already pay a higher premium. I can’t go on puffing away though.... other than increased anxiety my moods have been way more positive. What do you think?",2.7747745168217604,4.6466437716535465,4.243435934144596,85.202977809592,75.85039370078741,7.452827487473158,24.931281317108088,8.296473431620573,1.5879984251968509,497,17,100,9,11,165,90,127,0.046,0.8190000000000001,0.136,0.8871,0,0,4,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,2,5,4,0,0,7,0,12,3,0,2,2,23,24,8,0,4,6,0,1,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,9,4,0,1,6,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,4,2,19,3,9,17,2,13,0,0,1,0,7,4,0,5,6,70,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24130139295707725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672775219955758,0.2470283167942658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054422231035783,0.16813928000892428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22462837730520455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254331988024779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977942965368167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110563194605095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20976263494993155,0.12427190955459776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324298298302485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201721311493114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15444899805884665,0.10682828775805653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2069053624030976,0.0,0.2216911880440766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686473188276094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20941986862903705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140081892022375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17424706466912604,0.1990636841590616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15477165316312808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19112215739048066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011119637342975,0.21483647592101676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17356547176722772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237132007949932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hopefullyneurotic,2019/07/25,"Anxiety and Ativan My anxiety has been through the roof lately and I can’t figure out why. I didn’t change any meds prior to the increase of anxiety. I actually started working out more which I thought would have the opposite effect... Anyways I’ve been taking my max dose of Ativan almost all week (I’m prescribed it as needed).

I’m worried I’m going to get addicted to it and I also feel like it’s not even helping. Each day my panic attacks get worse.

Any advice? I go to therapy monthly and exercise 2-3x a week.",0.7619780219780239,3.283400692307694,3.5321428571428584,82.97000000000003,90.15384615384615,6.048351648351648,25.6978021978022,7.447530270364453,1.898307142857144,408,19,74,8,14,143,71,104,0.18100000000000002,0.772,0.047,-0.8931,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,3,3,1,1,4,0,7,3,0,1,1,16,19,6,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,4,1,0,3,3,2,0,0,4,1,9,1,10,14,4,12,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,8,45,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.16854054742796326,0.18827995279236714,0.0,0.16877071495894594,0.0,0.0,0.17294463133244226,0.0,0.0,0.138116535282642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348981434117357,0.0,0.39636921039536144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964831424557148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18270482273282795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11138399325166087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11407366532424355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732762501820031,0.1233844253851109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804682299264688,0.0,0.19631072992493856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576421664724515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19482498201822465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08437763297264618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918424457493055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13785588415650285,0.0,0.0,0.1280626573859933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20263857508505215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12224539042266208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985681209656366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975095241082064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711285580245988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770759124550214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558443750716402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257353108324072,0.17539591007188493,0.17600676837342202,0.1226885935150278,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,will0w27,2019/07/25,"Unmedicated for 2 years Anyone else have therapists who thinks that they don't need medication? I went from going to one practice where i was on everything under the sun (saphris, lamotrogine, lithium, klonopin, vraylar, etc.) To seeing a new therapist who said i didn't need anything except for talk therapy. 

For the most part my symptoms and diagnosis haven't changed. I've been diagnosed as bipolar / borderline since 2014 and every day is a struggle. Finally started seeing a new therapist who said ""you seem to be in a constant state of distress and I'm concerned that you've been unmedicated for so long."" It feels kind of vindicating to know I'm not expected to push through everything on my own and I'm not weak for wanting medicine to at least help with the anxiety. 

But i was just curious if anyone else with this diagnosis has been told not to go on meds?",6.951987577639753,7.7434422422360285,7.252975155279504,71.73822049689444,64.46583850931678,10.912049689440996,38.460248447204975,10.793553405168565,4.4025100621118005,695,36,122,18,10,226,106,161,0.066,0.8859999999999999,0.048,-0.4112,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,1,0,4,4,0,2,7,0,12,5,0,0,0,22,31,8,0,5,7,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,7,6,0,0,4,0,0,4,6,3,0,1,10,5,8,1,26,20,5,20,0,0,2,0,10,7,0,3,8,78,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740435019619342,0.0,0.0,0.17805916367531385,0.2609218943186383,0.1047787811962064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346944520608764,0.0,0.0,0.13759460868723322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211499682919507,0.0,0.0,0.1292336193877695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127297439716365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420025971557072,0.0,0.0,0.10727798652056324,0.0,0.2288655228858117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06438005535740413,0.0,0.0,0.13947985140659852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472505873354413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534420436377238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325908557663031,0.0699752615094334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267986039976992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14143093064383694,0.12826795614396322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18882182974764788,0.0,0.24594526790930274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627966626819465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137882087160408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422331344286503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20292531722390306,0.1159131757325201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10532571675847996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012228376711508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13310920250034566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13234088568151892,0.0,0.10234014012257904,0.0,0.0,0.14560883904778987,0.4435073045557169,0.0,0.08158561817006191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12166583503035633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510041171800548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803285170512375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199402931609256
bipolarreddit,chicothebarge,2019/05/24,"limitless. I watched the movie 'limitless' with Bradley Cooper and the 'pursuit of happiness' with will smith earlier this year and became obsessed. i watched 'wall street'...I felt like these movies were speaking to me...My mom dies and leaves me 100k in insurance money..over 3 months I turn that 100k into 600k...I was invincible....my depression didn't matter, my mom being dead didn't matter, nothing matter...The feeling of printing money felt better than sex....Then I guess I snap out of mania...and I'm depressed and I give all 600k away. I didn't spend a dime. Having all that cash didn't cushion the depression, now I'm laughing that I lost all that money. I have no friends due to my illness, my family is estranged...Now I'm just mad that my mother left me this money without a will, without even telling me about it...I guess i felt guilty having the insurance money....I just wish my mother had a serious conversation with me before she died. I'm so alone and lost.",3.0324731182795723,5.4243326774193585,3.91956989247312,85.36602150537635,77.06451612903227,6.713978494623658,26.46236559139785,7.793537801064563,1.696604301075269,762,30,142,12,18,244,104,186,0.225,0.6809999999999999,0.094,-0.9634,0,1,0,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,0,3,6,13,1,1,7,0,14,1,0,0,3,26,29,6,3,1,4,4,4,1,1,2,1,1,0,0,8,10,0,0,4,0,6,0,7,8,0,0,12,7,20,5,16,14,3,10,0,5,2,0,10,6,0,2,5,79,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14149021417700966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12835272485406682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11624788566209185,0.0,0.0,0.12082339265247426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3529945946223114,0.0,0.28356614561640986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023181904511207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878689354671724,0.0,0.06907580672440275,0.0,0.3935106750248069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10554712339618047,0.0,0.0,0.1310519588508273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009899798803136,0.0,0.0,0.14542743495258706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14465379588956698,0.1484307877234712,0.0,0.0,0.06674237465940895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29825918519829336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199997726423349,0.10904346027767983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310841789912763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940607588094555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14859607849352785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15709859266909273,0.26338075891314194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797450841182056
bipolarreddit,Orri,2019/05/24,Do antipsychotics give anyone else dark circles under their eyes? I've noticed since starting mine I constantly have dark circles under my eyes. I sleep really well on them so it's not tiredness. Is this a possible side effect?,3.9224390243902434,7.122026121951222,4.300682926829271,78.83395121951222,80.46341463414635,7.182439024390242,27.71219512195122,8.238735603445708,2.681405853658537,185,8,28,4,5,58,35,41,0.0,0.927,0.073,0.4124,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,2,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,3,3,3,1,0,2,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,6,1,3,5,0,6,0,0,2,0,3,4,0,0,2,18,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21789871444900727,0.31930142863808897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3367609701091615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603266059421154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2989435801788253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35479245035438856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3513156352437225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19963794948222294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577832873790464,0.0,0.31185473013586984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.220573087851536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801925029649136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dzlbtlrx,2019/05/24,"Lamictal and Fatty Liver I was told yesterday that I have fatty liver. We don't know why yet. I need blood work done. However, I'm wondering if lamictal could be a contributing factor.

I am of a healthy weight and only drink small amounts and not very often. I'm not showing any symptoms of liver problems. I had a CT scan for an unrelated issue, and it showed the inflamed liver.

Has anyone had experiences with liver problems while taking lamictal? I'm just looking for anecdotal experiences and any advice I can get.

Thanks!

Disclaimer: I have a great team of doctors and have appointments already set up to deal with this.",3.37386604774536,6.278253853448278,4.776206896551726,76.71255968169763,79.43103448275863,7.707161803713528,28.75066312997348,8.617729084823388,2.906938461538462,501,23,81,12,13,166,79,116,0.069,0.8420000000000001,0.08900000000000001,0.4926,2,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,6,0,13,11,6,0,0,20,24,8,0,5,4,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,9,2,0,2,4,0,0,3,2,0,0,5,3,8,2,9,17,1,6,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,3,3,52,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17973346809264001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029704262049468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501563021415386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12860756073437585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14685248550282884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896229105060433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882593116898864,0.0,0.1882234122001082,0.0,0.1801805759480828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3598360667953853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960954062827618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20278257266098831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19197427987569834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101082668352732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15445418926809076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13638115801513973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398864312008038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3519907743013737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19117284549266586,0.1382918547168987,0.0,0.0,0.16933727927008413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17575221566801538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15176083790613773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22397619306350952,0.0,0.0,0.1659674785472687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994633521613945,0.13390263520014045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,godisawayonbusiness,2019/05/24,"ECT Success Stories? My pdoc and I spoke yesterday about the next step we can take to fight my treatment resistant depression. He suggest ECT and I had it written in my talking points notes. I agreed with his idea about getting treatment this way and we discussed side effects and yatta yatta. 

I then went home to discuss it with my family and they freaked at the suggestion. They are picturing American Horror Story type ect which I told them doesn't happen anymore. However they are convinced I'm going to be gorked out and lose intelligence and my personality. 

Can I beg anyone of you out there who have gone through it give me a little testimonials? Just so I can prove to them you don't become a vegetable. 

Thanks guys!",5.046585858585857,7.180626022222223,5.3667340067340055,78.44484848484848,70.25925925925927,8.16835016835017,31.531986531986533,8.841846274778883,2.805148148148148,583,26,101,11,11,185,95,135,0.126,0.7929999999999999,0.081,-0.7475,1,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,2,2,5,3,5,7,1,0,4,0,10,1,0,1,1,17,22,9,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,6,13,1,0,3,0,0,4,2,4,0,0,6,1,23,3,14,15,0,15,0,2,0,0,23,7,0,0,3,68,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22523933537682306,0.15880569832153446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508332163948808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19561579944248506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141059794341364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865941639111223,0.21787161126252466,0.12907599666543842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248818363436903,0.20083908012107046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278171719516629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563877891818533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227631202492818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540861666185896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415418273013459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983100678121971,0.0,0.0,0.21469926122043934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707639460315736,0.18254828432335327,0.0,0.20909909753981087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21702031499036006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18027514291328495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21054001437515465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwawaynotbrave,2019/05/24,"Update: I did go to the hospital, and just finished a week inpatient. I struggled to make myself go through with it, but with the support of family and friends and the feedback I received here, I was able to push myself.  While I was not suicidal, I was a danger to others and to myself.  I had no impulse control and was frequently triggered into fits of rage.  I'm my own worst self-assesser, so it was invaluable to get others' perspectives here.  

I had an overall great experience in the hospital.  Of the 10~ nurses and techs I worked with, only one person was outright unpleasant and most were friendly and kind.  I had to file a complaint while I was there and did so with the assistance of the nurses working that shift (they also escalated it up the chain, and made sure I was free to avoid working with or even being near that person again.) 

I also made friends, much to my surprise.  Knowing other people in this area that I can talk with and relate to has made a world of difference.  

I was referred to a low/no cost clinic (which has their own insurance coverage option) and am still working on Medicaid coverage.  I'm feeling way more hopeful, and also have meds to last me a few more weeks while I get the paperwork I need together.  

Thank you to everyone who encouraged me.  You made a difference in my life.",5.854228087649402,6.582180685258964,6.559200697211157,75.97752614541835,66.84860557768924,9.940338645418331,33.61578685258964,9.978442167317967,3.4231691235059767,1036,45,186,23,16,341,138,251,0.087,0.7070000000000001,0.20600000000000002,0.9889,0,1,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,2,2,5,13,17,2,2,17,0,21,2,0,7,1,40,38,23,1,2,4,0,1,0,3,0,2,0,0,2,12,20,0,2,3,0,2,4,2,5,0,1,19,1,29,13,32,18,8,26,0,0,0,0,13,10,0,4,11,152,41,5,0.12006431231461638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880461615398724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346623355365395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508833039650811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07930134593030617,0.0,0.0,0.11472659565968403,0.0,0.11744593597894012,0.1131859482000655,0.0,0.060708123835208974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27828416958560576,0.0,0.12545729542528694,0.0,0.13647063114311914,0.0,0.0,0.1323713281911219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925095300653332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502850528150927,0.06598420609508313,0.0978684393067097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480497451136719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4544310213828502,0.08014386078467088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336438441983195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08826108432807718,0.08902616625191075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135868531320971,0.0913143198203872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08323747665218903,0.20967105283341853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525326279768711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958835149078475,0.0,0.0,0.1255172879882829,0.0,0.13133087044575156,0.13624755878815425,0.11315919345375472,0.0,0.0,0.0965031462831702,0.0,0.11053908763020782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530146258161544,0.19261669834221734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3496329972963956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jellyfishgardens,2019/05/24,"Does anyone else sing/record music a lot while manic? it's probably the healthiest coping mechanism I have  when I'm overwhelmed/stressed. I guess I just want to hear other people's manic masterpieces, please drop those SoundCloud/youtube links.",6.4728571428571415,9.660643190476193,5.081190476190475,77.33464285714288,69.47619047619048,8.009523809523811,29.54761904761905,8.841846274778883,2.9360761904761907,202,8,29,4,4,59,37,42,0.055999999999999994,0.753,0.191,0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,5,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,5,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,14,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21358802989183792,0.3129846968437193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26731422902928403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25517657151950474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3365038200082149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3442809322981854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25969517565821004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21177077055252613,0.0,0.0,0.33530852578387743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3293426254350309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34990879693608645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18017100217503207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,meradorm,2019/05/24,"I got my associate's degree today I feel really bad. It took me six years and I just turned 30. I know it's still an achievement, I just wanted to have done more with myself. I was an academic high performer as a child - *really* high performer, I was ""the smart one"" at a fancy private school - before I had my first episode and just cracked like an egg. Now it's hard for me to think clearly, my motivation and grit is gone, etc. I wish I felt less sorry for myself, it's still some kind of achievement and not everybody gets the same chance for an education.

I've had near complete symptom remission since around the beginning of this semester after a medication change (we finally settled on a cocktail that has me taking nine pills a day - sheesh) and I'm going to a four-year school next semester, maybe things will get better for me. I just want to get a ""real"" degree, it's all I wanted growing up.

There's no real point to this post, I just sort of hoped somebody on the subreddit would understand the kind of pain and shame that comes from a chronic illness drastically lowering your expectations of yourself. People keep telling me to be happy and to keep trying, and I'll keep trying no matter what, but I don't think they really get why this has renewed the grieving I felt for the life I could have had after I was diagnosed.",3.822791461412152,5.585824065134107,4.854844006568146,82.39241379310346,72.71647509578544,8.036562671045429,26.604816639299397,8.704169506293173,1.9936701696770665,1055,37,202,20,21,345,154,261,0.08199999999999999,0.836,0.08199999999999999,-0.4484,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,1,1,7,10,11,0,1,19,0,17,9,0,1,2,46,45,10,1,8,7,0,4,1,0,2,8,0,0,1,12,12,2,3,8,1,0,5,4,4,0,4,12,4,30,7,28,29,6,27,0,1,0,0,5,9,0,3,13,137,42,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09708960650999207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106343756220124,0.0,0.0,0.09280497567995144,0.0,0.0,0.09645777170757293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537468450740257,0.0939485178254294,0.11435096787147868,0.0,0.0,0.08707830210439804,0.0,0.0,0.07033691223015548,0.0,0.0,0.11069712105050036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160979056337413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12163459292790192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05514576481644945,0.0,0.20943605937421064,0.1194736947584342,0.0,0.09276932748266754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22792463581350855,0.0,0.06198328044035298,0.0,0.08722801597424032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11610008635515083,0.09769944225408904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304630772184605,0.0,0.1083246292783924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29082185615514394,0.0,0.2271456309973308,0.0599384280231901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07703475061037103,0.0532828999152155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10956890956354152,0.0,0.0,0.1098699667736175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11599023216144907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390422636411127,0.0,0.1160512161418554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561087415312508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10310022670641443,0.0,0.10445265139595046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482762000510883,0.2096065449293696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207560980887185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021842515112274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220876197373955,0.0,0.0,0.17419644781761626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11335869962954828,0.08200215244830608,0.0,0.09532627544195613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245691986041186,0.1397669289668746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10337941221751668,0.0,0.12117352240888828,0.14809386703276928,0.11862973138981607,0.0,0.1135389132340593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19298537190881854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841281328647224,0.0,0.12541760212645398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07747555624271943,0.0,0.0,0.14046659114897098
bipolarreddit,dylanbg,2019/05/24,"After a 5000$ wasting spree and countless sleepless night, I think I might be bipolar and need help. I'm almost 19 and I dropped out of college because I couldn't keep up with my sleep schedule that was either 2 hours or 14 hours of sleep. Now I'm kinda sitting around starting projects that goes nowhere and wasting my savings lmao. It's a shame because I had good grades and now each day passing by, I feel dumber. I'd like to be evaluated by a psychiatrist but I don't really know where to start or where to go.",3.523928571428569,4.904345238095238,4.250654761904766,87.96455357142858,72.80952380952381,6.392857142857142,30.267857142857146,6.6274283507984215,1.4797857142857145,410,18,84,3,8,131,74,105,0.079,0.836,0.085,0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,3,0,7,3,2,0,0,23,17,8,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,9,0,1,3,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,2,1,9,3,12,11,2,19,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,5,11,48,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22376692783487492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989303470252506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27244317413098085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14411580046098346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299011836843872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12699974725403645,0.18743101035572848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14978321623971472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44013407512724095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19862508064141166,0.0,0.0,0.1228099764270245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917322823380328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370600020816487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16569573274899535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097058365760929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431567676514443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4472507883280977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31633795447829643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14318671524934262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Visual_Anything,2019/08/25,"Some kind of depression ghost or is my identity? I have been on medication about a month and I'm super glad that it worked (at least now). I don't have suicidal thoughts that is a super plus, but, I can't think in depressive things of my past-life, even if I don't feel depressive? so, I'm stable but thinking about them.

Half of my life I have felt depressed in some way, sometimes very intense, sometimes very light, and now I am thinking that it is part of my identity and that ghost stalks me even though my body-brain physically feels calm? I do not know how to explain it...

Does this happen to anyone else? How to fight it?

​

\- Sorry if my English is bad!.",3.705864661654133,5.051898421052633,4.324819548872181,87.74452255639099,72.30827067669173,7.726015037593986,26.833834586466175,8.238735603445708,1.5634968421052626,522,18,110,8,10,166,80,133,0.114,0.718,0.168,0.769,0,0,0,0,1,0,29.0,0,0,1,3,10,11,1,0,2,0,13,2,0,2,0,23,25,13,3,2,6,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,10,4,0,0,9,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,3,4,15,5,14,22,4,8,0,4,0,0,3,4,0,5,3,76,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15802376214289815,0.17721849709960624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197870912048794,0.14943616163674095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217750730128784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628120426114646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5024667734611588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763056066273767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218353733330886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19265942738148206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14748794283736952,0.0,0.1400347499752761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897087666353405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15187586005833872,0.08015298614018952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301513572556648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469242056301787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641265154086025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579366876629494,0.13922622971379242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884902661401784,0.16326232794951048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15953153127960032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689340686554956,0.28035611934978744,0.14329266621317704,0.11578519989892685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406759642487305,0.0,0.11576553332227207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617741140231418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17721849709960624,0.0
bipolarreddit,Vlad_loves_donny,2019/08/25,"Depakote not working? I was on abilify which worked really well and leveling me out but I had to stop it due to akathisia and switched to depakote.

The last few days I have been all over the place and now today I'm in a super manic mood.  When I'm like this Im a huge asshole to everyone in my life which makes things even worse for me.  I try hard but these words just come out. 

I have schizo tendencies which the depakote is failing to help with as well.

Anyone have any experience with this medication???",2.787942794279428,4.7910279702970335,3.624290429042905,89.06622662266226,76.22772277227722,7.261166116611661,25.083608360836077,8.167268648758528,1.420662486248625,399,14,84,7,9,127,71,101,0.113,0.705,0.182,0.8336,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,4,6,6,0,0,5,0,7,2,0,1,1,16,11,7,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,8,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,3,1,8,4,15,8,2,17,0,1,0,0,1,9,0,0,8,57,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15171785433985327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559989734375105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19218368711386447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14388313350204535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14735758646964325,0.0,0.0,0.21318470754767951,0.0,0.2182377797437976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998566818930345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14954139955264092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24098978486722344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18185891851648964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15758441698577655,0.10899697411781206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14892314571769327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247530435431336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330954016235415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14292564899773436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865242992840664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14821987975970607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21147578558444,0.0,0.0,0.1514724556814896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4011932143605382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3248436330262499,0.0,0.22736126270781765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,madPolarPride,2019/08/25,"The Tao really helped, and nature walks... just wish the weather would cool down ""The bipolar called bipolar is not really bipolar.""

So, I really just want to write an honest r/r4r on this new account, but need to get some Karma and wait some time. I'm actually in a pretty good space but what I really need are local walking buddies and people who understand my condition that I can speak openly to who are also on a path to healing so I can start getting back in shape. If you could upvote this that would be great.

Beyond that, here is my obligatory long story. Don't know if it will help anyone here but I'd be happy to give what little advice I can give having lived with this condition for over 15 years now and having come to terms with it.

First thing that the Tao teaches is... own EVERYTHING in ""your way"". You always have control of your life, even the things that you consider ""I was born like that"" or ""fate"". You have EVERYTHING you will ever have in this very moment, it is just a matter of how you will trade your time or effort to get to another place.

I could write a novel about being mistreated by others in a mental health facility on an 3rd world island nation a few times over the last few years (in-patient is actually really a good thing if done right). Or gripe about my ex wife cheating on me and having a baby with another guy. Or complain that I've spent years on too high doses of meds that threw my body out of wack and made me yo-yo in weight. But actually, I gotta take ownership. 

I think what ended that relationship was clinging to the high of a manic episode from 5 years ago where I tried to keep an unworkable long distance relationship going from LITERALLY the other side of the world. And I do have the power to just not eat, but part of that is making the choice to be around people that help with positive peer pressure to eat healthy and live healthy. I still wish I had a romantic relationship. But even though I'm depressed about those things, I'm feeling good enough about it that I just don't care, in a healthy way, and I'm trying to move forward. Gotta work at being healthy so when that next person comes along I'm less of a mess to deal with.

Maybe leave some of the beautiful parts of my mess, like Nietzsche says, “Be careful when you cast out your demons that you don’t throw away the best of yourself.” Maybe there is a glimmer in that mess that someone else will see as unique and a thread they want to add to the tapestry of their life. Some things must let be.

I really just want to focus on staying on meds, staying healthy and walking. Wish I had someone I could just hike around the local park and chat with openly on the regular.

I've got a buddy (neuro-typical who I'm jealous of being able to pick up women just by ""being buff and wearing a suit""... but where is the fun in that, I would rather talk to people) who wants to go out drinking all the time, and I can do that on occasion. But I need some friends on a healthy path who can deal with weird deep non-nonsensical but actually very very meaningful conversations, without narcotic aids.

The mystery of life. How do I stop talking so much when I know I'm a bit hypo?

Like this!",5.776983971353058,5.741493790220822,6.131188507119108,81.62454130786942,66.93375394321767,9.314621877397904,28.96478813198056,8.994212911058018,2.0841586324494847,2509,75,510,39,37,808,291,634,0.055,0.7659999999999999,0.18,0.9981,1,0,1,0,0,0,73.0,0,12,2,6,39,24,2,1,40,1,54,15,2,6,3,102,99,42,0,21,28,2,2,3,1,10,9,2,0,3,43,32,4,4,6,3,3,11,6,9,0,1,9,6,43,15,85,67,17,92,2,1,1,0,45,50,0,12,32,345,86,3,0.06360160981820685,0.0,0.24826398616021764,0.0,0.0,0.06215075701698184,0.056378989602295884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0508621843929913,0.05292163438748117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333836668418158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04447172439597654,0.0,0.0,0.11323783412506205,0.0,0.0,0.059755806061173124,0.04890571205712173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674596559670838,0.0,0.06943648524896054,0.0706470505514476,0.0,0.0,0.06494435471066849,0.0,0.1296921600695073,0.0,0.0,0.10957431037395884,0.0,0.0,0.07133461356577296,0.15234213038923566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13114093397051174,0.05477997334006975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06508652885130177,0.0,0.06230536423609859,0.0,0.13016065000664695,0.05313098382279367,0.0,0.056332148340989874,0.06571746472418659,0.0,0.08401652688771483,0.0575312973414486,0.0,0.0,0.11432205169825772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03215888493863716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054099496820469314,0.0,0.0,0.049138445974931964,0.0,0.09968764821112323,0.12202491915821215,0.07229252111872078,0.1600380382727181,0.050868017489249656,0.07012099935798012,0.0,0.06297559315087595,0.0,0.06770509631861013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06760553709139593,0.0,0.0,0.1278924551902446,0.1343971854872518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05653203312387099,0.0,0.0,0.06990756286058743,0.051843800795621085,0.0,0.06734492144999138,0.0,0.06503695518001942,0.13477109381298635,0.09321760174731726,0.06374552178026349,0.11232277340997034,0.11257084652634283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060181381032577475,0.042454568428247214,0.0,0.12779273139955846,0.0,0.1412941011028952,0.0,0.06409546343847441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675984458117278,0.046754501311401214,0.14147936336138586,0.0,0.0614268310891405,0.06764103358619472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13774869100297368,0.0,0.13228004417529515,0.055534472464805404,0.06645014534742458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06470570237658599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24446891917103974,0.0,0.0,0.20485298012022188,0.0,0.054315427271456655,0.0,0.050578552909133566,0.0,0.0,0.05068224849692853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10777887520788336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04501754678501601,0.13558170720549675,0.05079232775836867,0.05317379369958769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047820495265287116,0.10224112957142774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21127041727998505,0.04075334345106093,0.06248825872337713,0.0,0.1483464406223756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636263629449273,0.0,0.0,0.06621151885199493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15743396699833956,0.1500555093266696,0.10096799492487417,0.0,0.0774496263851308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194161373673423,0.061309682236012276,0.0,0.04630272943917159,0.0,0.0,0.1355422763865627,0.0,0.0,0.16382940584894726
bipolarreddit,loveforsquirrels,2019/08/25,"Sharing because this is what kept me out of the hospital recently My soul mate. Literally, the love of my life. We've only known each other for about a month & a half but he has literally saved me. I never thought love at first sight was real until I met him. The day we met, I held him & I just knew. & I think he knew too.

I am of course speaking about my handsome pup, Dodger ([https://i.imgur.com/zHMq51D.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/zHMq51D.jpg)).

I've been so fucking miserable the last few weeks (PSA: take your meds). I've been so depressed & so miserable & work has been fucking exhausting because of it. But everyday, I'd walk in the door & my sweet boy would give me hugs & kisses like he hadn't seen me in days. I am 100% confident he is the only reason I didn't end up in the hospital. He kept me going because I want to live for him. 

He's also a huge pain in the ass occasionally because he is only 3.5 months old & is filled with puppy excitement but every second with him is worth it. I have to be kind of tough on him because well, training, but 90% of the time we just hang out. We watch TV, we take naps, we walk to starbucks together. I quit smoking cigarettes & switched to the Juul because of him. 

I just wanted to share because I tend to share the shitty things in relation to my mental health & I wanted to share the positive. I wanted to share the reason I didn't end up in the hospital the last couple of weeks. I wanted to share the reason I finally want to live.

<3

Fun fact: for any Dickens fans out there, he is named after the Artful Dodger in Oliver Twist...because he is one of my favorite characters of all time.",3.6552505292872297,5.312150969418962,4.507048929663611,85.1501570218772,72.94495412844037,7.477252411197367,25.115149376617268,8.139509932561175,1.4275557280639846,1305,41,261,20,26,421,162,327,0.095,0.693,0.212,0.9912,0,0,1,0,0,0,81.0,5,1,0,3,12,26,2,2,20,0,21,11,1,3,3,42,46,9,0,7,7,0,0,1,1,1,4,1,1,1,6,11,0,3,8,3,1,5,4,8,1,4,16,5,41,18,44,28,3,40,1,3,3,7,36,15,3,0,21,154,47,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05433940579807412,0.0,0.7362354642854076,0.0,0.04620817308348988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3313723884413595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518512708164396,0.0,0.08764395944809962,0.0,0.05852503655631267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12036665372162678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05725061111455315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07443565068835617,0.0,0.05779803888258075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12563693320616928,0.0,0.065183610168825,0.038617419681421766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222742707669345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707592281233521,0.0,0.11077626189943864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0479949314273083,0.03319682490585766,0.0,0.12000178202198025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12265463909406127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547687528892609,0.0,0.06847738529450226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10847371483078244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052407050898747386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130185228684736,0.0,0.046044522094633236,0.1550365839986193,0.07230334513517883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227294353809899,0.0,0.07734171333112898,0.0,0.20959103895233744,0.06709219946302487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217953981714524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045142807273088816,0.04353946834655889,0.0,0.053944526600929424,0.07924411359719316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24047120599077698,0.0,0.1090104122070116,0.0,0.0610950028582883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049468241181168895,0.0,0.0,0.04826956639308287,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,macandcheezitz,2019/08/25,"Hybernating after taking Latuda Does anyone else take this rx? I was taking 20 mg in the evening/afternoon.  Now I'm taking 40mg and the last two days I've taken it in the afternoon, I had to lay down for hours. I went to bed around 6 pm, woke up at 8 pm. I hate it! I won't take it early again. I'm going to ask my Dr..I want to feel stable, not drugged.",-1.956261363636365,-0.09805601249999896,1.5538636363636371,96.87568181818185,96.625,4.409090909090909,13.522727272727273,6.1124844417494595,-0.8613749999999998,269,5,67,3,11,97,57,80,0.057,0.894,0.05,-0.3595,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,5,18,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,5,1,6,0,12,12,0,16,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,8,33,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13736234735712105,0.20128615197715774,0.0,0.1748820730061694,0.18365415053394749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266939424499227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17191464334408707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278195311889216,0.0,0.16410869500604408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933097903346468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11164701315393727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193953618641722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934635931870537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16013289949795115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7385294330990931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19190302041007415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587124895051587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821110381607232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MotherGold,2019/08/25,"What is one particular thing you usually do while hypomanic/manic? I've noticed I clean like a fucking fiend. I have a lot of energy that I can't use for studying, and I feel this constant need to be moving, so reading anything proves difficult. In fact I'm particularly resistant to studying. I spend hours cleaning my room or bathroom or re-arranging my library. It's why I thought I had ADHD in the beginning.",4.828016877637129,6.5134637215189874,6.572848101265826,71.38982067510548,70.0126582278481,9.823628691983123,37.21729957805907,10.125756701596842,4.290897046413502,330,19,57,9,6,114,65,79,0.036000000000000004,0.86,0.105,0.5859,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,3,0,6,1,0,1,2,10,13,5,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,0,3,1,1,1,1,2,0,1,2,1,10,1,6,10,1,9,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,3,6,37,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31440769033232563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152850050657616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28271044661974915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322792686221337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418567747991392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25763586406584965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278107766627373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22241380744452235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780529545421246,0.0,0.19398254164470335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978478535220125,0.0,0.0,0.1772755721870624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616835493669748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17380388861501214,0.0,0.0,0.20769130364488247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259494220135839,0.28812948732307603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360648185388484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Goddes_Mercy_Me,2019/08/25,What do you do when you want to kill yourself but you have to stay strong for your baby? I just am so down all the time and I feel like I'm a bad mom.,-2.015000000000001,-0.4687513888888866,0.3755555555555557,108.40000000000002,90.66666666666669,3.6,11.777777777777779,3.1291,-2.098255555555556,114,1,34,0,4,38,30,36,0.175,0.621,0.204,0.0644,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,4,0,1,3,4,1,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,1,6,7,4,1,1,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,2,4,7,1,4,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,23,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.337469329345358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043630766314131,0.2887427749792243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44715986893408904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19745954008908767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4733649968031241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43079688354127615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356777533701444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23839294809199524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,diearea,2019/08/25,"Can a medication not work again after stopping it for a while? Two years ago I tried a medication that worked wonders for me. I was able to hold down a job, my mind was clear, I was doing well in school, made many friends, etc. I stopped taking it due to gaining 30 pounds in a few months. Then I had my first manic/psychotic episode so I went back on the medication but it wasn't working like it used to. I tried several other medications afterwards and never was truly ""stable"" again. I'm on that same medication right now. It's only been a few days so I don't know if it's working or not yet. I'm really hoping it will work again because right now it takes a lot of my energy to even get out of bed. Not going to lie, I've also been feeling suicidal. Things are just really hard for me right now and I'm hoping this medication will work like it did in the past.",2.324152700186218,3.925285810055868,4.291932960893856,85.54613035381752,76.37430167597766,7.678361266294228,23.10651769087524,8.447377352677275,1.3075717690875233,676,20,146,13,15,231,107,179,0.109,0.78,0.111,-0.1279,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,8,14,6,0,0,9,0,15,6,0,2,2,25,30,10,1,3,7,0,2,2,1,2,6,0,1,0,14,3,0,3,3,0,0,2,6,0,1,2,11,2,13,6,18,17,5,34,0,0,0,0,1,10,0,6,24,101,27,8,0.09967600852122488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835676744785466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07971086800247353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07664469792000103,0.0,0.060761569635275965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428277950574512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11116509766408468,0.06583506356144372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050399184837285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478436192864132,0.0,0.0,0.07700943692646857,0.0,0.052076600476802896,0.0,0.05664817267712988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929012527168201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19800153399281767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989130581968902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05477932753044293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09739332586760932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474097799694942,0.0,0.09431584932784326,0.0,0.10105582787235999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6024785528231357,0.0,0.0,0.10064435417045266,0.0,0.07956043903705055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687628260257899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580809605335763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515202870896416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12771000681752978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553682999700048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087744207160207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260551798115168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16666721263991388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902937525139178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498879071512891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622031100556894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13534693376174672,0.0,0.09736897683473132,0.0,0.0,0.08608806808926428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962070226797292,0.09240065851037256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809437934741456,0.43539192803390186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418808148135985
bipolarreddit,lilac_skies58,2019/05/01,"Im afraid to develope schizophrenia My father has  schizophrenia and I'm worried I might develop it. I've been have weird dreams and dilusions. For me dilusions aren't far fetched due to my bipolar disorder, and dreams are really new for me. I want to go to a therapist but I'm worried they might diagnosed me with a type of schizo effective disorder don't really know what to do.",2.7351351351351347,5.394007040540544,4.122905405405408,81.97868243243248,79.94594594594595,8.564864864864862,29.52027027027027,9.188382445141503,3.1352486486486484,307,15,57,9,8,101,47,74,0.14800000000000002,0.732,0.12,-0.2846,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,2,0,9,2,0,1,0,10,14,4,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,8,0,9,11,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,34,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22162743410626232,0.0,0.0,0.5005113462595812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12409713343147702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358626848905547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200031209581531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4632838623016641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21089024247538254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797697614519559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535289356379622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879242745220693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4435036162078059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,moldybritches,2019/05/01,"Anyone have problems with holding a job? Every time I get a new job, I get really excited for a little bit and then in the following weeks usually get super depressed to the point I can't drag myself out of bed. I usually call off and then get incredibly anxious about calling off so I just never come back. Is this just me, or do others have this problem as well? I've tried to apply for disability but got denied. I thought about applying again.",3.0170454545454533,5.162480250000005,4.925000000000002,79.34500000000003,76.04545454545455,8.036363636363637,26.90909090909091,8.841846274778883,2.371359090909091,354,14,65,8,8,121,65,88,0.13699999999999998,0.7809999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.6946,2,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,8,6,0,0,5,0,5,0,0,0,1,14,13,8,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,3,1,0,2,0,8,3,13,11,1,18,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,1,10,47,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934817936659472,0.0,0.11975314618130074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316929569208916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18697807834694186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3497634017546917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14753046555032032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14751112632355304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442989637450905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3579175958308999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697703916545675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33991009073146666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17165349200729052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320908718772283,0.16540973804778822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16190169676337166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3277568006786301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097173639052128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359660471162176,0.0998665625777614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627834932472934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3772505325107411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737922803498545,0.0,0.15398867244952996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Coconut11agua1,2019/05/01,Im too scared to sleep I think maybe I’m at the beginning of becoming manic idk i dont even remember falling asleep last night probably because I’ve been high for about 4 days and so I did eventually sleep but I have no idea how long. Now I’m in bed trying to “sleep” but I’m honestly wide awake and time is just flying by like it’s almost 5 am which is good because I’m waiting for the light to come up to fall asleep because I’m concerned about like the paranormal or something i don’t reallg know what to call it but I’m so scared someone is coming or hiding to attack me and so I can’t turn the lights off which means I can’t sleep until I can shut the lights off when the sun comes in through the windows when it rises....I have to be at the library to study by noon so I have to wake up at maybe 9 so if I sleep from 5-9 that will probably be fine but really I’m so wide awake I don’t think I’ll be asleep soon......I think I came here cuz I know objectively i should sleep before stuff gets worse but I really am too scared to sleep. Not only the attacker thing but I keep having horrible gory nightmares and I can’t get rid of them and yah I’m just scared to sleep so I don’t know what to do. I live all alone and all night I imagine all these things coming to attack me waiting out in the hallway I feel like a scared child and like now I’m so sleep deprived I keep seeing things out of the corner of my eyes and it’s scaring me and making me want to sleep less and less I wish I could have someone come over while I sleep so I could relax but I live so far away from friends or family and yah idk I guess I’m just waiting for daylight to come so I can sleep i guess idk any advice? I’d call my doctor if I had one lol,-0.2812023621088535,1.7252302015706815,1.8369548277121661,97.71540545476685,87.29842931937173,5.0194569584804585,17.260684281017898,6.388778183573513,-0.4017361013028129,1355,32,328,14,43,452,170,382,0.142,0.7440000000000001,0.114,-0.8983,0,1,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,0,25,19,3,6,12,3,30,18,17,3,3,66,70,40,0,7,16,0,1,4,1,2,1,0,2,1,14,20,0,5,11,1,0,9,9,10,0,1,4,6,38,9,44,59,5,43,0,1,2,0,5,20,0,8,18,194,52,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05623865666387089,0.0,0.0,0.05762951081726987,0.05960599413240818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03913699139547633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964194082751853,0.054071525787351804,0.0,0.0,0.10524857495200644,0.06356110669975057,0.04897208496702797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11753302589160634,0.0658235805238202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29745311156633525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09190037448309676,0.0,0.0,0.03711595436361592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058906395710603486,0.0,0.0,0.06744992570865904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038012220900527686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054254429295535214,0.0,0.02909976604569396,0.04111480086216484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04446414371791616,0.0,0.06013656352667604,0.0,0.0,0.04827146506099465,0.0,0.0,0.12679892442748722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06080631623797372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06496863477222277,0.06216549250438955,0.0,0.0,0.10230882949648584,0.0,0.0,0.09488639273171648,0.04691215124376355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124670173261532,0.0,0.10163805225431263,0.050931263688602256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03841607105439813,0.0,0.11563642810262666,0.06269045188920071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801636233147624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03899838372251832,0.04377050673824032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410049512147366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373792516847967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06519462695815201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34571452983083023,0.0,0.04586109178674918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6911167184546603,0.0,0.09752639306996952,0.04430595400108691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06588269483940397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470397173822362,0.11063002609716206,0.0,0.0,0.03355874064088042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03907368859421652,0.06259950226454085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0339453639608888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661813811457574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05864989207089717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BipolarMoron,2019/08/17,"Think I may have just come out of my first manic episode. Was diagnosed years ago as bipolar, but I didn’t believe the diagnosis. Haven’t been on meds in almost a year because I can’t afford it. Was taking Topimax and Abilify. 

Think it started in early July. I quit my old job with no plan b. I’m 44 and I don’t do stuff like that. Ever. Was about to start having my girlfriend have sex with strangers for my own gratification. Thought the idea of swinging was exciting. Thought she was proving her love for me to go and sleep with a bunch of strangers. Thought it was all a grand idea and I was living high on the hog. 

All came to a head yesterday. Asked a coworker for her Snapchat. I had complimented her outfit and she beamed. So I thought it would be a good idea to get her Snapchat so I could say what I really thought. All these thoughts seemed like the right course of action too. Luckily I didn’t get graphic with her, although she did say I was out of line in what I did say. I apologized and deleted her and started to evaluate my life as of late. 

I’ve read loosely about manic phases. Haven’t ever experienced that really. Now I don’t trust any major decision I have lying ahead of me. I need to see a therapist I know. Not having access to meds however is very intimidating. Just feels like I’m losing my grip. Everything I’ve done lately, the influence I’ve had on others, it’s just mortifying.",1.826063829787234,4.2165579184397215,3.4327375886524827,87.19400000000002,81.51773049645391,6.8805673758865264,24.64822695035461,8.021203637495839,1.5517154609929082,1111,43,227,22,30,367,150,282,0.052000000000000005,0.7859999999999999,0.162,0.9872,3,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,5,11,10,0,0,12,0,32,7,2,1,6,47,58,13,0,3,5,0,2,3,1,2,3,3,0,0,12,15,0,0,16,1,0,4,9,1,0,1,23,7,35,9,34,31,6,30,0,1,1,2,16,10,0,3,19,151,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005895852239265,0.0,0.10173398335914034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06908894375277344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497879283147694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06193213986430935,0.0,0.0,0.11446419937648307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161990610484692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751618592936156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111635024984798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311806989549337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10396825206578728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18379927549471256,0.0,0.0,0.09130817157876978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0513701239636473,0.0725803916675342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641773069375039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615970995307117,0.0,0.057739498409217174,0.0852141264708587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426707791271818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734203147931044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3440694488839577,0.0,0.0,0.1008186159677465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055834650004146405,0.0,0.22921002318351635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07176044618358424,0.1489044090456118,0.0,0.08971136289427838,0.0,0.0,0.1136602326713346,0.0,0.0,0.09169459530541474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257010932697916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07533234281433276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660818927452193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806013304029928,0.1016237579044144,0.0,0.13017033713532095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08676265478101,0.0,0.2423802819471321,0.0,0.0,0.08095906910365437,0.09248942352322452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10166963611957328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21573107680488812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11630341617334534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638774710218271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11796109363027055,0.0,0.1301975680443361,0.0,0.4839365136597333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382755824427321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217107137035934,0.0,0.0,0.13084932676318964
bipolarreddit,ima_goodwitch,2019/08/17,"Does anyone else feel like they have dark humor that they can’t share with others? Ever since my experience with mania, depression, and all the strange obsessions that came along with it (including suicide), I feel like my humor is incredibly dark. My coworker just asked me why I’m always smiling. But I f I told her what I was laughing in my head about, she’d probably be concerned. Anyone else with a socially unacceptable sense of humor? I mean our moods are socially unacceptable so I suppose it makes sense.",5.8780091185410335,7.704598138297875,6.468419452887537,72.60500000000002,67.61702127659575,10.052279635258358,31.51367781155016,10.290406445055957,3.5799379939209715,411,17,69,11,7,134,69,94,0.13,0.677,0.19399999999999998,0.6868,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,1,0,2,0,4,10,0,1,2,0,7,1,1,1,2,17,15,3,1,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,2,16,7,8,10,1,3,0,1,0,0,10,1,0,0,3,44,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15008933761358134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25224964173460224,0.3696381191737295,0.0,0.0,0.16862952099536654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20630491734593692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15535971268199605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15785041544075562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013661335677639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631626537987387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17644475646302846,0.0,0.0,0.182409549315552,0.25772483131615864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18512035034184185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17624761923441393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040402999294755,0.0,0.0,0.19648503457967734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944784998391301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14921093511487835,0.0,0.0,0.3677462709886942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19730477056297105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17235935890225396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627635139181733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Innergram,2019/08/17,"Looking for fellow BPD friends to lean on and laugh with. Like the title says, I wanted to reach out to any other peeps dealing with BPD and are fighting the good fight.

We can talk and vent about our struggles and also talk about anything and everything else in life, too, share memes, all that good stuff.

So if this sounds up your alley, feel free to send a DM!",6.351338028169013,6.134525788732398,5.2930633802816915,88.7286091549296,65.76056338028171,7.663380281690142,27.609154929577464,5.985473137389443,0.9267436619718304,285,7,59,1,4,84,58,71,0.087,0.6629999999999999,0.25,0.9229999999999999,0,0,0,0,3,0,9.0,2,1,0,0,5,10,2,1,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,13,5,8,0,2,1,0,1,1,2,0,1,2,0,0,4,9,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,4,4,8,13,5,1,5,0,0,1,0,13,4,0,1,1,36,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17139573872294814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14574844616654406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17637133028236046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.53987002739556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209598105443394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17904115464296838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19262161797602625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083692316078256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16558707314842913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3595315212520803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15138418622958688,0.10470843846064827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179979140217707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17043995539824336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22405917352529814,0.2453510108908782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3445328614942115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641452179763624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fibonacciphi,2019/08/17,Chat Is anyone down to talk? I could use some advice and help understanding some of the disorder.,3.4800000000000004,6.391074777777781,4.308888888888891,80.20000000000002,79.0,8.044444444444443,20.11111111111111,8.841846274778883,1.6775777777777776,78,2,14,2,2,25,17,18,0.132,0.735,0.132,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,6,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,10,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3887108249603715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781404685488703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3175988945913136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4558959865667282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666268503086448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3197244549228169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4141081356065512,0.0,0.3435584572442259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bigb135,2019/08/17,"Amitriptyline for bipolar...playing with fire? Okay so I'm starring to believe my bipolar diagnosis (bipolar 2 perhaps). I've been mildly depressed with periods of mild hypomania for years, but a combination of a light box, jet lag, and some life stress early this year put me into a hypomanic/mixed state, followed by depression.

In hindsight whenever I drink alcohol now I go hypomanic for about 24 hours, the crash and. Last weekend I drank on the ami and I went really hyper - read excessive confidence and hypersexuality. I gradually fell back down and by Thurs I was feeling very down. But now I'm starting to recover again (or am I coming back up?!).

I'm currently on 100mg amitriptyline and 600mg lithium. What I can't fathom is whether the improvement in my mood is towards hypomania or whether I'm recovering from the depression. So basically am I getting better or am I just making my illness worse down the line?",5.665798816568049,7.634552502958582,7.005443786982252,67.99147928994087,68.3491124260355,10.170414201183434,37.260355029585796,10.389873798559362,4.5083633136094665,739,41,121,21,13,251,112,169,0.183,0.73,0.086,-0.9603,2,0,2,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,1,9,7,0,1,8,1,8,7,0,1,0,21,21,15,0,0,8,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,10,3,0,1,3,0,6,1,4,0,0,4,3,14,2,23,17,1,31,0,3,0,0,0,10,0,4,14,77,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21023877388987375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025381547620281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216412621184833,0.0,0.1739869255712717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16946082714806238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5083158394522671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927152180684832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946987068888682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278048607469213,0.0,0.11180312596618153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19373410777357167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16035680873266556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13895240563385136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13131520075301495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977625627073133,0.0,0.0,0.1967778404588676,0.0,0.12602681873555546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924268723809244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253473692042367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16231840095662795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18236567879556748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20047917811602411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253368390196469
bipolarreddit,prowelle,2019/08/17,"Reactions to Lithium I’ve been on Lithium for just over 3 weeks now. I started 900mg about 9 days ago and over the last 3 days I’ve noticed some really intense nausea, disorientation & dizziness. I was wondering how you guys have managed side effects on this medication and if you’ve experienced the same and if it went away eventually? 

I’m considering coming off these meds since the nausea and other aforementioned side effects are so intense. All my dinner came right back up last night after I ate. & I only take my meds after I’ve eaten. I’ve been on other kinds of mood stabilizers & antidepressants (I was diagnosed with MDD before and then re-diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder) and none of them have really worked for me. 

If you guys could offer any tips or advice, that’d be great!",6.197400000000003,7.353273940000001,6.9373333333333385,72.04200000000003,66.26666666666667,10.0,31.0,10.125756701596842,3.2234,641,24,111,15,10,212,100,150,0.0,0.945,0.055,0.7634,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,1,3,6,3,0,0,3,0,10,6,0,3,1,24,19,13,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,6,10,3,0,3,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,8,1,11,2,18,8,4,27,0,0,0,0,6,11,0,7,13,67,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13865708057492535,0.12578038433035393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4612259564536077,0.0,0.09649272033321728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333139934816848,0.10910765343414204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12074126115387038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16228882497978964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222290339787216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329073617217768,0.0,0.0,0.1830196587223006,0.0,0.0,0.28803865102735965,0.0,0.0,0.1626227068659907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15643852986886586,0.0,0.2809945465793384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477606655853807,0.0,0.2313249398479459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31522427886168297,0.14294318008259785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315781655954434,0.0,0.0,0.16154714994263888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791670782400524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818017363505419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12117661854998905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11737610351441365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043323543347822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10668655674330753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381873071993652,0.0,0.0,0.1315370703966903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15387788588228846,0.10330045191455917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ctrlaltfkdel,2019/07/16,LF online bipolar friends ... because I sleep days and am feeling very isolated. My mood cycles are ultra fast and am currently going through a rough patch. :(,6.951111111111113,9.011305777777778,6.282407407407407,74.06583333333336,65.2962962962963,8.362962962962964,39.425925925925924,8.841846274778883,3.998125925925928,124,7,18,2,2,38,25,27,0.166,0.695,0.139,-0.2247,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,2,1,0,0,3,5,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3192790492231209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3377816742590905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26482863943538754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4046554417648912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2976647051935405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5241379488297782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4321566016218229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,alitalaln,2019/07/16,"Quitting Lexapro and increasing Lamactil Hey guys. 28M. I’ve been on and off of SSRIs for 5 years now and the lexapro helped me initially. I feel like it stopped working though. I was misdiagnosed for Borderline earlier but turns out I have Bipolar 2. My psychiatrist suggested me to start lamactil which helped me greatly in 2015 when I took it for a year but then quit because I thought that I should just stick to Lexapro. Long story short, my psych now has advised me to stop the Lexapro completely and just be on lamactil 100mg and nothing else. I’ve successfully upped onto 75mg lamactil and withdrawn to 5mg Lexapro. I just wanted some advise on how to go about quitting the Lexapro completely and maintain a healthy mental health on sole treatment of 100mg Lamactil. Really looking for some advise from people who’ve been in a similar place as mine. 

P:S inspite of being on Lexapro alone, my anxiety and depression were bad. However, since I started lamactil (currently on 75mg but will go up to 100mg and stay there as per the advise of my doc) I’ve felt better.",6.318212669683257,7.158984833333335,6.147647058823531,78.9367194570136,65.86274509803921,9.414177978883863,37.751131221719454,9.466822959209583,3.6108126696832574,862,45,157,16,13,270,120,204,0.109,0.8440000000000001,0.047,-0.9099,2,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,6,10,6,0,0,7,0,10,2,0,1,0,26,21,18,0,2,6,0,2,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,4,10,0,2,3,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,7,3,17,4,31,10,3,32,0,1,1,0,9,15,0,2,13,93,21,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519703544505241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11224976636273194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251529617793468,0.08944661508001236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977274728229846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3076919359087075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12638026824187326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12257596304026865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741922322538196,0.10482554567089583,0.14088596659358685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16678263339318344,0.0,0.0,0.1617728189321252,0.0,0.14528799248752322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15596951570615072,0.0,0.0,0.19670306266508164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168596353364019,0.0,0.0,0.12985342008014053,0.12321813095619133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14787159190740967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14079354717237466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017256638792622,0.0,0.1533039664255574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4682034149019,0.0,0.0,0.09400043391111994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137842996039708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20771567751457246,0.15639705060597586,0.0,0.24534945533740804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14416368643340272,0.11648901296194013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16302492399002838,0.0,0.15960254813359834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.086546480235341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10682282246700224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889815108941627
bipolarreddit,mattsulli,2019/07/16,"Just lay down and close your eyes I don’t know who needs to read this, but I sure do.

Just lay down and close your eyes. Sleep will come.",-1.1950000000000005,0.8337038333333346,-0.8649999999999984,114.6225,94.0,3.0,7.5,3.1291,-2.891,105,0,30,0,4,30,21,30,0.0,0.898,0.102,0.4497,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,3,0,1,11,6,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,3,5,0,5,0,0,2,0,3,4,0,0,0,17,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40679098214024606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25952950155959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3501582866637123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4723655155640178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4725787657645966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4450784636496002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Cryingjupiter,2019/07/16,"Therapist transitioning professionally I have or soon to be had the best therapist in my life. Sadly they are moving on and pivoting their professional focus. I'm happy for them but feel a little sense of loss as they've essentially been part therapist part paid life coach. Sucks to start over. I do have a very lovely person I'm lined up to see, just a little apprehensive. Just wanted to get these thoughts out there. No anger or resentment or high emotionality on my part, jud a bit sad.",4.491086956521741,6.807490065217394,5.6971739130434775,74.69945652173917,72.26086956521739,9.382608695652175,24.54347826086957,9.827888789773867,2.493995652173914,394,12,72,11,8,131,69,92,0.22,0.6809999999999999,0.099,-0.9179999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,3,2,4,10,3,1,5,0,7,3,0,0,0,11,18,6,0,1,6,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,1,1,1,1,7,0,0,4,2,7,3,13,13,5,12,0,3,1,1,5,9,1,3,2,47,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648240499443086,0.0,0.17146808215770765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17667057759427132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941390329576123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205700404855205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16719254980188886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16594177801675053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22187126267075571,0.0,0.3148293674892708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14175215402402458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669291845435424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5102397633174015,0.0,0.0,0.13713812634723985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515593089209234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11116738387600238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5470738724815466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246875438217042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12959037452666972,0.09263764686961608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Julietjane01,2018/11/07,"Small high from Ritalin Does anyone else experience this? I’m on lithium lamictal and vraylar but if I take just 5 mg of Ritalin I get a high for a few hours, everything is funny, I’m tingly etc. It use to work as intended before bipolar then made me sleep now this. It’s a little dangerous as I’m not use to this very Flat life and kind of like it. Was diagnosed in June. Just wondering how rare this is.",0.6007142857142861,2.9363366904761925,3.1383809523809525,87.52328571428568,86.85714285714286,7.645714285714287,22.685714285714287,8.548686976883017,1.808408571428572,318,12,68,9,10,110,62,84,0.046,0.873,0.08199999999999999,0.4497,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,1,0,3,0,3,6,1,5,0,13,12,8,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,3,2,10,10,2,10,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,2,5,38,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14233650381764856,0.20857511312652469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17321775408547058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20661291651237867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17814000531774396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17005138848208662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270273856730637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829499684237864,0.19912440373911414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063536551437665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4301525467026446,0.0,0.0,0.20046928434218786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21198031551332264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437830934117194,0.09945096355936432,0.2040243509211745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926169377832764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20371075661817992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15305460265681073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35162743426914256,0.0,0.1679614088055921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22075619834699675,0.14819683102242062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,almightytata,2018/11/07,"I know that I'm probably going to kill myself some day - and it makes me apathetic to life. Knowing I'm going to kill myself someday gives me a kind of solace. I don't care to make an effort in any aspect of my life, because ultimately it's all pointless.  I'm going to be depressed no matter how well life is going. ",1.768181818181816,3.603428848484853,4.612121212121213,81.58818181818184,78.69696969696969,6.218181818181819,23.12121212121212,7.1686216300943375,1.0376848484848489,248,8,48,3,6,89,46,66,0.271,0.6859999999999999,0.044000000000000004,-0.9554,0,0,0,0,0,2,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,6,2,0,2,0,3,3,0,3,1,9,16,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,4,2,3,1,0,0,0,7,3,8,15,2,6,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,29,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724421920565846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12302732850900705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057684885672945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13015691792026982,0.0,0.17382688840870136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19360370873054114,0.4587948198980106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4465668747439928,0.2101640114149928,0.2218295005887298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4276533641138638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694322424293135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21759561668747665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18146001897766387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Capt_Am,2018/11/07,Prisoner of my own mind. Just added more pills to my rotation.  I feel so broken that I can't function without these artificial chemicals.  It's getting dark out here.. ,2.6524193548387096,5.607939967741939,4.180887096774196,78.89133064516129,84.80645161290323,8.261290322580646,30.330645161290327,8.841846274778883,3.420154838709678,133,7,23,4,4,44,29,31,0.231,0.769,0.0,-0.8172,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,3,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,4,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,17,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32124537478472115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3319372543761552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6415090517800323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6124420011894413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jrtosr,2018/11/07,"Guanfacine trigger Mania? So I started quanfacine for ADHD and my bipolar symptoms have come back. Has anybody heard of guanfacine causing mania or had them happen to them?
",6.303678160919539,9.726683965517244,5.269655172413792,74.49919540229888,71.41379310344827,3.8666666666666663,40.70114942528736,3.1291,2.962301149425288,141,9,16,0,3,42,26,29,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,0,5,7,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,4,0,3,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4828042414055695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089073957723397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4126898072017099,0.0,0.3460568657259806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35525060885638005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843482398370214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41755375395561817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,heylookatthatgirl,2018/11/07,"Meds are where they need to be, but I feel like I'm falling into a depression? I take a plethora of medications and have become relatively stable. However, lately I have felt like I'm going on more of a downward shift. My manic episode was ended by these meds and I became pretty stable for awhile. No new stressors are really in my life, but I'm finding myself getting really sad around nighttime/early morning. It's also bleeding into my every day life. I'm not sure if this is just normal or if I'm starting to head towards a depression? Usually my episodes just hit like a ton of bricks. My psych doctor tends to just throw meds at me (he recently put me on an atypical antipsychotic for paranoia which I dont feel is necessary anymore so I dont take it) so I'm not too comfortable asking him. At what point should I be looking at a med adjustment, or is this just normal?",4.1023076923076935,5.508056091954025,5.770229885057473,77.53237400530506,71.41379310344827,8.572236958443856,29.47656940760389,9.057496981413335,2.6202065428824053,696,28,127,14,13,238,109,174,0.17300000000000001,0.723,0.10400000000000001,-0.9316,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,0,10,8,0,0,7,0,13,6,1,0,1,27,32,11,0,6,12,0,3,3,0,1,5,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,5,0,0,4,5,3,0,0,2,4,17,5,19,26,2,24,0,3,1,0,4,13,0,4,10,85,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036517143565236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12446583232007792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11172479879304896,0.11732891006609784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13860884911545335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080939429555003,0.0,0.21619210740285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845823710332388,0.0,0.0,0.2941785334092286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115892471108904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574218313428148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269167668894102,0.08965978607068655,0.12050312301546195,0.0,0.11470800283438545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06557044309789861,0.0,0.07132657948324121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12880288580822866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14157351022592904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772937870776239,0.18394413633322196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539140236146922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5576247598989315,0.12643165805722034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305931789229983,0.0,0.12121214427943418,0.0,0.0,0.2459337323747092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11864145399648325,0.0,0.0,0.12768226511296354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261657670646829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16080162027456482,0.0,0.12391964914235645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883208329749262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11828564341692298,0.0,0.18872615333838108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13822446766397253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,suicidalsamxx,2018/11/07,PMS and Mood Stabilizers Am I the only one that has serious issues controlling my anger right before I start my period? I know this is typical pms but I feel like it’s gotten a lot worse since starting seroquel. Almost wish someone would just sedate my ass for a week prior to shark week because it makes me be shitty to everyone around me about dumb shit and then turn it into a major depressive episode because no one wants to talk to me. ,8.652906976744184,6.957780686046513,8.711279069767446,70.9008720930233,61.906976744186046,11.855813953488376,35.45348837209303,10.686352973137794,3.671079069767442,353,12,64,7,4,116,67,86,0.309,0.631,0.06,-0.9808,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,3,7,3,0,4,0,5,4,2,2,0,15,14,4,0,3,2,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,5,0,2,1,1,10,1,8,11,2,10,0,1,0,1,1,3,3,2,8,41,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19751115102181596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17558877978215187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24047595161316984,0.0,0.16783992667307682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22122566806447294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16988577624433418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18847488177337815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09973238024481383,0.1409109938147421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20587125781360133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840002155708753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09636334635267416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16768960583776854,0.0,0.0,0.13166175287776793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673149762262703,0.15001278067568286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16844510797351078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024679027861713,0.16316209072824614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16712401230797289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27922032136492225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15853707662024788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145445895743588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163394901794038,0.0,0.3164341209540938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268206094575227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010082599340196,0.14011632009449465,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kj00000,2018/11/07,"How long can mania last? Before you down vote me, at least hear me out.

I don't know if this is the right place to ask this, and I am not looking for a diagnosis. Is it possible to be manic for years?

When i was in my late teens, early 20s I went thru a massive batch depression, hospital stays, and suicide attempts, suddenly around 23 i hit a wave of energy and drive like I have never had or could even imagine. Couple that with hooking up with the right people at the right time, and hit a wave of success I could never dreamed of. I am now in my late 30s and the level of crazy/""mania"" that i am at is at an all time high. In my life there is only one way ""All the way, or no way"", 1000% or not at all. Lucky for me the wave I have hit has lead to success, after success after success and i have not had a failure. It has put me in a financial position that i can keep up with myself, my excessive spending and drive. I dont just get a hobby, I go all in beyond ridiculous, I don't just own one comic book, I own a ridiculous collection, and when i tire of it, I sell it and get into the next ridiculous all consuming what ever.  I don't start a business, it becomes all consuming to the point killing all my personal relationships and family relationships not associated with said business. At one point i held 3 board positions, owned 2 companies and volunteered for 2 others. All of them had done well during the time i had owned them. At one point i had a successful business in importing and ebay sales. It could have kept me going for years, but i just closed it one day because i got bored of it, and decided, I should get into real estate, and that is when i dropped everything and did that instead. No rash or reason, and no fear of failure. I get about 3 hours of sleep max. there where a couple weeks a year where i would skip sleep all together depending one what i am into at that point. 

People ask me if i do drugs, if i drink a massive amount of coffee, or anything like that. I don't do any drugs, no coffee, I don't work up. I wake up every morning running at 100 mph all day until i physically cant and then i crash sleep a bit, and then repeat it again.  

For the third time this year family have had an ""intervention"" with me and said i should see someone. My regular physician even stated at my last checkup i need to lay off the gas a bit because all this drive could be bad for me. 

My first response is Fuck off, ""I'm ambitious, successful, and aggressive"", not sick in the head. it has driven a wedge between my family and friends. Them against me. I think to myself that they just want to kill my success or they are just jealous. 

I have been reading some websites about this but I just can't figure it out. 

My real question from your experiences, can Mania last for over a decade? Have you ever heard of this.  I know my depression lasted for years before this drive happened.

I don't tell you all this because I am bragging about what I have or become, but more of a worry of the level of crash that could be building behind me after years and years of drive. 

I'm starting to think I maybe sick, I have met with professionals regarding, but no diagnosis yet.

I guess maybe i am just looking for some opinions. 

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bipolarreddit,peakedattwentytwo,2019/02/18,"Lamotrigine to Trileptal Questions re: depression and hair loss Not remotely manic. 54 F, history of major depressive disorder and 2 types of anxiety since adolescence; recently dxed on the autism spectrum (PDD NOS) and also complex PTSD. HLA 1 and 2 mthfr mutations. Suicidal last summer and out of work for 2 months. 25 mgs of lamotrigine REALLY  helped me. I survived an itchy,  scary rash, which is now quiescent, but my hair started falling out (mostly on top and at the temples, giving me a Draculinuan hairline) at 50 mgs. I had a radical, fast response to the lamo, but since a shaved head at my age is not a good look, had to back off. Some loss still at 25.

The biggest irony of the lamo experience is that I suspect if I were to keep taking it, I could have found a way to live with the hair situation. I cannot afford a good wig. I make 16.00 an hour. I have no self esteem to draw upon in this regard, so my NP okayed me to drop it and start trileptal, which she said might work for me like lamo seemed to.

Has anyone here done this/used trileptal for treatment resistant depression? Results? Effects on hair? 

Much thanks in advance. I hope this ticks no one off enough to remove it.",4.197807017543859,5.950116149122809,5.1868421052631595,80.43622807017546,71.71929824561404,8.575438596491226,28.89473684210526,9.150863307647796,2.5208052631578943,934,37,176,20,18,306,146,228,0.184,0.722,0.094,-0.9411,1,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,8,6,11,0,0,14,1,13,6,6,3,0,29,25,12,1,3,5,0,4,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,8,10,0,1,6,0,0,3,5,5,0,1,6,6,17,6,32,17,5,33,0,5,1,0,6,16,0,7,13,109,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417008550685664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921575887713657,0.0,0.0,0.09982545259353136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977840204803907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139872006443124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3688929790338052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16362244383938634,0.0,0.0,0.14609939885557852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14751565738667155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13965274678335518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565357789053952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369543563703105,0.0,0.23949104469925994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465193181649027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956931803002685,0.0,0.0,0.14179905847811927,0.14059595749378606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689716599191495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637351483181932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06974835816464238,0.0,0.1260651778686751,0.0,0.11988765870848896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529755289624547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15145238625985882,0.0,0.0,0.1139546257047564,0.0,0.1049495902753378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674207782472548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688605802647316,0.0,0.1599308273110366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145968902249414,0.0,0.14096440763450732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580335759401413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299689944646929,0.14893629181354576,0.0,0.0,0.2361953662620969,0.16047520023366876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20210131464437966,0.0,0.1140132786759415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15616306041008465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073424214586111,0.0,0.0,0.1314399437137836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717301707106332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332117123559107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20787100052271928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nrfx,2019/02/18,"Coming off of Lamactil, which was honestly lovely save for some severe (but not SJS) skin reactions... I'm in hell, and Pdoc wants me to start Seroquel but I don't wanna. Bleh.

I was on 200mg of Lamactil for 4 months. I had some of my very best days ever in those 4 months, emotionally speaking, but I had some ugly blisters, and a mouth full of ulcers, that I/we eventually decided were due to a reaction to Lamactil.

SO i've been doing a fast taper, 50% lower a week, I'll be done with the taper next weekend...

This morning had an emergency appointment witht the pdoc because the depression lows were getting worse than they had been since before starting Lamactil...

So, she wants me on a fast taper up to 300mg of Seroquel. The side effects terrify me, I'm already obese, being lethargic and gaining wait, along with all the other pretty common side effects...

I mean I know I'll probably feel better, maybe, but at a cost I'm not entirely sure I can bare.

My other option is to use copious amounts of marijuana, which she is like, 50/50 on. She wasn't into marijuana before we had a legal program, and now she's relenting a bit...

I have my medical card, but I'm actually totally sold on the idea.

Funny thing, i've gone and and off with pot since my 20s, but have mostly given it up the 6 months before we had a medical program.

Just ranting, but if anyone has anything to add that would be great.",4.485440503432495,5.447452605072467,5.936857360793287,78.37122425629292,70.05072463768116,8.709077040427157,30.10602593440123,8.99025400887824,2.5360101449275363,1093,43,206,20,19,371,160,276,0.124,0.7440000000000001,0.132,0.5301,1,0,0,0,0,0,51.0,2,0,1,5,5,11,1,0,17,0,26,7,2,3,4,49,45,16,0,5,11,0,2,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,10,15,1,1,7,1,2,2,4,3,0,0,17,3,22,8,32,24,10,33,1,2,0,1,9,16,1,6,16,136,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.137493814089322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548183542237876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851750309665784,0.0,0.11594510148081096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08588867058103324,0.0,0.3596754205732193,0.0,0.14786127503879853,0.12461073827952693,0.15382154039330215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12136911271375485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086602775641184,0.0,0.12135320288262567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14418515123373438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15848862392203325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274481671437883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124106585832962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07361215337556823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15533793360204276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590540206153506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743255556356184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06883448973130142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12716381038186092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14154860175070466,0.15347665011168946,0.0,0.2838750560382827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33738465188208816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498441049070714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433415124067791,0.15190932346530794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15917196177688614,0.0,0.2331006484076808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994533094919971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327924673672573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360479842556406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12168858976914412,0.0,0.11625365361877198,0.16620779051799262,0.0,0.11301797869145665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14358468783033368,0.10008821571465266,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,daiyanoace,2019/02/18,"“Lost my way, constantly pushing without rest within the harsh rainstorms” (My first post here because I stay in r/bipolar with my dumb memes lol)

That’s some lyrics to one of my favorite songs. It’s Lost by BTS I found it a few years ago and I cry every time I hear the song, even more now that I connect it to my Bipolar. I lost everything when my symptoms got really bad. I lost my job, freedom, sanity and almost my life. Now to make sure I don’t go off the deep end again I constantly have to go to therapy and take medication. I’m going to have to watch everything I do for the rest of my life so I don’t trigger an episode. I have to push through the hardships and never give up even though sometimes it’s hard and I want to give up again like I did in the past.

Sorry, I just wanted to share, it popped up in my playlist and even though it’s in Korean I still remember the lyrics and bawl my eyes out especially if I’m driving alone lol",2.7254545454545465,3.8735436666666665,4.03981818181818,89.60972727272728,74.45454545454545,7.502222222222222,25.826262626262626,8.021203637495839,1.3031511111111111,738,25,166,11,15,243,112,198,0.135,0.773,0.092,-0.7713,1,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,5,16,9,1,0,9,2,7,6,1,2,2,22,25,12,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,8,9,0,0,2,2,0,6,4,6,0,2,7,6,27,3,27,18,5,35,0,4,2,0,4,11,1,3,16,108,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345241021519633,0.0,0.1168637296275068,0.12087173192490586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744424226595397,0.07114260750810672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25223443379135485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819554398980684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033664590228495,0.0,0.0,0.23124870450205795,0.0,0.09832944199797547,0.0,0.20977480923938768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992696636989569,0.0,0.12796158921033676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239091562704675,0.1989793255347757,0.0,0.09334007312393088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454523105119096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13153561354705345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158122299829873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16486513363273667,0.057016426646801524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5095914864094792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07790184711592099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756854283836787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900104989503491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790826870925372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140863332983904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177163678886924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476455055731783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322046144407057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542475274131064,0.13064228535451802,0.0,0.12439256618859755,0.09320118654324873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999358031777567,0.12130173080837288,0.08774803393562196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13346294387057467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293251802022673,0.0,0.06805193272125129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13767188996661875,0.09263541705214047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11249996570681696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515453460036374
bipolarreddit,lulukodiak,2019/02/18,"New psychiatrist prescribed abilify, lexapro, and lamictal Has anyone been on this combo or any individually for bipolar/agoraphobia? I’ve only been on them for a few days, I take them at night and wake up extremely groggy in the morning. It feels like I’m hungover even though I didn’t drink. Do the side effects dissipate after a while?
Thanks in advanced for any advice!",4.275819327731092,7.180434102941183,5.377983193277314,73.8073529411765,75.61764705882355,8.003361344537815,30.302521008403357,8.841846274778883,3.0551109243697487,301,14,49,7,7,99,55,68,0.0,0.8759999999999999,0.124,0.7936,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,2,2,2,0,0,4,0,5,2,1,1,0,5,9,5,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,4,2,10,6,1,13,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,6,32,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962506139719002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4123269799711037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119809361790614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19551719263305425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969875717466109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20023849160414364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15328999782126235,0.2165820757694887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14811174782143138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927999158487128,0.0,0.2845010492602023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23057164349722525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279433391118753,0.0,0.0,0.27911481086113776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29785936489522113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,aimemoimoins,2019/02/18,"I am spiraling. Yesterday my panic attack lasted basically all day and today I've been waking up crying. Like the title says, I feel like I'm losing the battle again. I'm on Lamictal, but this weekend something triggered me and I've been failing to cope. Someone who I thought was my friend invited me to hang out and I had to drive quite a bit so it wasn't like a spur of the moment thing. Then my friend ditched me to hang out with someone else and left me with his friends who I had just met that night. I left in the morning (I was staying over) and they never came back. I did something kind of petty to get back at them and when I called to apologize, they said they ""owed me a call, but were out with their friend X right now"", so that made me feel even more like shit because apparently it's ok to ditch me, but not step out for a phone call. I really cared about this person and it just sucks to be treated like I'm disposable. Normal me would have been able to handle things better, but I smoked some (A LOT) of pot on Friday and it triggers my moods. I don't know how I'm going to get over this because my chemicals seem to be all out of whack. I just feel like life is a freaking rollercoaster of crap and I don't think I have the strength anymore. I just want to stay in bed for the rest of my life. I've also been single for a LONG time and it's because I've been unmedicated for most of my life until recently, but I still have moments of crazy. Who out there could even deal with this shit? I am so alone. ",3.3783104631217817,4.100022971698117,4.3705431675243,89.47307032590055,72.42767295597484,7.417038307604347,24.83190394511149,7.520522993642371,0.9332150943396221,1187,33,267,13,22,386,163,318,0.127,0.7240000000000001,0.149,0.8283,2,2,3,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,5,5,19,27,6,1,13,1,24,7,4,4,3,52,46,23,0,4,10,0,3,6,4,1,3,2,1,1,16,21,0,0,7,1,1,6,5,10,0,0,17,5,39,16,44,25,9,45,0,2,0,0,23,17,4,4,26,180,55,1,0.10065141587616104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10424451196890222,0.0,0.08049090091181102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981915870690863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11450551606931145,0.0,0.15478945193528826,0.0,0.18406850671632388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901799799191185,0.10988527764860732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30832904733747074,0.1151184059191892,0.10262082655097217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036196549686439,0.0,0.11056085411358073,0.0649118365562418,0.10376719017948197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408134265693906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13295862184018642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267714031095753,0.14381078322606655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3110521369171589,0.0,0.10517242112260623,0.0,0.05720251915521141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481296097784756,0.05531538590360977,0.08204433770459595,0.0,0.0,0.21871611570303434,0.0,0.21327921494799748,0.2950391861861873,0.0,0.0,0.08907333573505669,0.0,0.11260318873033233,0.0,0.08557023444921907,0.0,0.09523880335144704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776285768866618,0.0,0.0,0.09445453548587536,0.09861701723957154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809274997163476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788493403697205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10705517021196824,0.0,0.0,0.06447987433706978,0.0,0.09938113050042206,0.0,0.0,0.08595575920824852,0.09574254544054414,0.08004204575674599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916292688108484,0.0,0.0,0.2066344639943358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17056323609136245,0.1549727546494772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21456203445394326,0.08038035073543644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337366566208552,0.06449336316739795,0.0,0.0799059813334185,0.05869065001463481,0.0,0.0954057733894492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059366812872023625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149987800822469,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,taintjuice99,2019/02/18,"What is YOUR personal experience during highs and lows? What changes do you notice when going into each of them? We all know the “textbook” symptoms, but every person has their own unique experience with bipolar disorder. What’s yours? ",5.942499999999999,9.169760250000003,5.715,71.9,71.5,8.0,30.0,8.841846274778883,3.1187500000000004,190,8,27,4,4,59,37,40,0.129,0.871,0.0,-0.6694,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,1,8,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,0,3,5,3,5,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,0,1,22,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813496760000765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3048124011067592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22408218221088813,0.0,0.0,0.5203184608338188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511508000543766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810006041716812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14616427664594348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3027964274788942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4644508070132508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764335482149646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,shittycommittee,2018/12/08,"Unsure what to make of new symptoms (xpost r/bipolar) So, for the last three weeks or so I've had some experiences that are brand new for me. Every day for most of the day there have been voices in my head talking nonsense and occasionally telling me to do things (like light my apartment on fire). There are often multiple of these voices at once talking over each other. I've also been seeing orbs of light traveling around walls and shadows taking on human forms, in addition to scattered auditory hallucinations. On top of this all, I cannot shake the feeling that someone/something is following me at all times. I recognize that there is no evidence to suggest it's true, but it feels absolutely real to me and I am frequently turning around to check that nothing is there. I'm not sure what to make of this all, especially because I am not in any kind of mood episode and it has only gotten worse with time. I saw my psychiatrist last week to talk about this but she said not to worry about it and doubled my Geodon. Does this sound normal in the context of bipolar or am I overthinking? I am on 1200mg Lithium, 120mg Geodon, and 400mg Lamictal with 0.5mg Klonopin PRN.

Edit: Some of these things have coincided with my manic psychosis but never independent of an episode.",6.411980874316938,6.984108586065577,6.664655737704918,76.25302185792353,65.59836065573772,9.457486338797814,33.47978142076502,9.3871,2.9852784699453547,1021,42,188,18,15,329,143,244,0.054000000000000006,0.914,0.032,-0.6199,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,1,12,6,0,1,5,0,17,3,1,3,6,38,29,14,0,1,8,0,3,1,0,0,2,4,0,1,19,13,0,0,2,1,1,3,6,1,0,1,6,11,17,4,40,23,9,31,0,0,2,0,8,16,0,6,13,132,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792155178495647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027602243943022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625365245350111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988860314579802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19019552295259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904087938916525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423913740154395,0.0,0.0,0.1442415369894404,0.0,0.0,0.14911768579725096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15133373411935871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535540895389611,0.0,0.24039476531378506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204018979852314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968577893052266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11372816238400085,0.2848303638434374,0.0,0.0,0.14447684860721524,0.14148925899483047,0.0,0.0,0.15703721501043538,0.0,0.11214792347007896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678386931135199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402656623580417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750437898086312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351983581770367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13897676281605725,0.1532645980158905,0.11086954042785614,0.3555617832539723,0.12888418210255434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959281595883965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17196707818132925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603912020304611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365627076589079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497500487547396,0.1502715891965887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,McEndlessUsername,2018/12/08,"I have lost control of my life. The lows are getting harder than they’ve ever been before and lasting longer, the highs are rare. Topped with full blown panic attacks. I can’t work. I can’t function. I don’t know why I am posting this here, it’s just become incredibly hard to live. I don’t know how to move forward. ",1.2557802197802204,3.5372258307692306,2.554505494505495,93.28692307692309,83.0,4.32967032967033,21.59340659340659,5.288315135182226,-0.04442857142857149,249,8,52,1,7,80,51,65,0.2,0.8,0.0,-0.8748,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,4,4,4,1,1,2,0,9,1,0,2,1,8,13,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,2,1,7,0,5,11,1,9,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,3,31,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790853197464991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27093511699040623,0.20874805771526794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751456667111921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219047159928522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816884192613426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21975727767807485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591925669499977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26964137085702145,0.19996739901872396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732757801904035,0.0,0.0,0.2166208158416732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677942280467012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607348454247802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878285170613724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349474038688315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213618771766392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17859486054889884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,OnceCalledPluto,2018/12/08,"New here, vent about bipolar and lost friendships left and right :/ Hi, I'm new here (but I've lurked for a while). Recently diagnosed. BPII. F, 22.  
I was previously diagnosed as Dysthymia with Major Depressive Episodes because I didn't really understand (hypo)mania I guess? But I digress.

Looking back (even recently) I've found I've lost a lot of friendships and relationships due to a depressive or hypomanic episode. When I'm depressed, I'm tired, miserable, slothy, withdrawn, locked off and unavailable, especially when I'm trying to heal from a trauma. When I'm hypomanic: I'm impulsive, loud, clingy, flirty, bouncy and annoying. It just sucks because people grow to hate me either way, and I don't spend a lot of time ""normal"" or ""in the middle"".  

I hate it because it makes me feel like I can never make friends, or if I do, I can't let them get too close or see me at my worsts. It's always a close friend that experiences me in more than one state that suddenly needs to get rid of me. Some of them have left me for the hypomania, preferring me balanced or even slightly depressed, while others have left me for the depression, preferring my more manic self, but it's like, once people have experienced the worst of all of it they want ***out, fast***.  

I can never give people what they want cause it's out of my control.
And it makes me feel so lonely.  

I'm seeing my psychiatrist again (for the 1st time since being diagnosed) on Monday, but this is all so new to me and having lived this way for a long time (without knowing it's Bipolar) I just want to know when it ends, and when people will stop fleeing me like I'm a monster.  

I dunno. Like there's other stuff like me sending myself into overdraft fees over a new hobby, or drawing super well hypomanic only to stop and be unable out of nowhere once depression hits, which are the things that effect ***me*** the most, but I don't care about ***me*** that much. I find that how BP has ruined my interpersonal relationships makes me feel way more upset and hopeless. I just want to be able to have friends.  

tl;dr: Hi, First post. People either like hypomanic-me or depressed-me more and it makes me sad When they hang around long enough to experience I cycle through them, and then they cut me off.",2.2008352668213464,4.886464139211139,3.51425939675174,85.22027076566125,82.78190255220417,6.5106450116009285,23.237169373549882,7.770157013224466,1.3944310533642683,1768,63,336,33,50,575,210,431,0.171,0.7440000000000001,0.085,-0.9902,0,2,0,0,0,1,90.0,0,0,7,6,24,34,5,2,16,0,21,7,0,9,4,77,60,39,0,9,19,0,3,6,3,1,7,1,0,1,24,21,0,3,11,0,2,4,7,22,1,2,5,8,46,12,43,49,17,60,0,13,3,0,17,19,1,14,38,220,70,0,0.07228150644158399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060144003710152015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06434586530228531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05558001678245508,0.0,0.13218640630230716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07369581312707196,0.07425301797281555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810698556954811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3735357334980442,0.22009262257335052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06401996041949118,0.07468611821875712,0.0,0.09548250660308663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141410366067056,0.0,0.0,0.10964310441938728,0.051637922644395484,0.0,0.0,0.0660639873977087,0.06148261245418666,0.0,0.07925294098204584,0.16753353772421584,0.0,0.07552820761313464,0.06933900734099963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962622843449642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14272604624912916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07944805123118895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23560220472484356,0.07391273755841106,0.0,0.21187855780464548,0.0,0.06382589444650512,0.12793371726888494,0.060698260848351324,0.0,0.15780760557364593,0.12290230393100735,0.0,0.0,0.24124233412426666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05313522405128916,0.053595821150792006,0.11149590756255257,0.27923971734343,0.0,0.0,0.07082052949580192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15395489069422738,0.0489798194249072,0.05497334277824925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505544773808677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922570271719747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04630538390023093,0.0,0.1427385350103063,0.1552065746392346,0.0,0.06172801156167133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11519800463151182,0.0,0.0754053752293743,0.0,0.0,0.059792009064955964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208611518735476,0.0,0.0,0.08274503167671009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048020621085499184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264437830356942,0.08307695861545741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049074398191141164,0.0,0.0,0.07524759734992602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705340209940087,0.1721210861584259,0.0,0.0,0.06498975495093552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06967679283811451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fuglebarn,2018/12/08,"help! Lamtical, dehydration and other side effects..? Feeling the worst. Considering tapping out A week ago i upped my dosage of lamtical( from 100 to 200). Since then ive experienced brain fog, confusion, and im unable to concentrate which is very frustration since i work In daycare with children, and i need to be sharp and on my toes all the time. 
Anyway the worst part is im feeling so dehydrated? Im drinking 5-6 L of waters a day and im STILL feeling thirsty, teird and my head hurts like im dehydrated.. its also interferring with my digestive system since i have IBS and dehydrating make me SO consistepated, im feeling like utter shit :( 
Im so considering going down to 100 mg again since i cant stand this. The problem is i can’t reach my doctor In the next 4 days.. 
i guess im asking if anyone else experienced these kind of symptoms, and if anyone has tried going down In dosis on your own (and what was the effects? How long did it take for side effects to wear of?)",3.037662298079852,5.051535430051814,4.73402011581835,81.3428527887839,75.52849740932643,7.4427308747333125,26.89698262724779,8.313332769828598,1.901450106674794,770,30,150,14,17,260,117,193,0.139,0.7859999999999999,0.075,-0.9555,0,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,0,4,8,10,2,1,8,0,11,10,5,5,1,28,22,17,0,4,2,0,5,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,7,12,3,0,7,1,0,2,2,7,0,0,2,7,15,3,22,19,5,25,0,1,0,0,4,11,1,4,12,87,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114878030903447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320819788470234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12802025075050544,0.09379827931203523,0.0,0.0,0.0855818601497864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219406923309536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118077410535518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09369979552926394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967887417165855,0.0,0.0,0.07647378153196227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18515083773425506,0.06539949334088671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405383203267644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10084671748171048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09395118861940127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061360427720953487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800040686521001,0.0,0.7910711720002623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09532963230905904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944815244696609,0.0,0.0,0.08101410612718958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06110674332408416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787917423767639,0.0,0.0,0.09735873971992244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09913390026062284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759583598859462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396923477394567,0.3029066157916975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310765013214225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951499098377542,0.068830159815315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0533804028974748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062152786428132864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07553389712047265,0.0,0.0,0.07343157061745713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664557214439665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Hereticdark,2018/12/08,"Psychiatrist prescribed 10mg Abilify and reduced Sertraline to 50mg. I've been in a manic episode since Tuesday (which I was unaware of) after being in a long term depressive episode and being on 100mg Sertraline. I'm still quite unsure of what's happening to me as all of this is completely unexpected. I'm not sure how I feel about being prescribed an anti-psychotic as I've actually been physically feeling pretty good for the first time in a long while, albeit still unhappy and not ""normal"". The psychiatrist explained that this will get my symptoms under control and he will see me in a month. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this but other than a close friend who also has bipolar, I haven't told anyone. 


Just to specify, the psychiatrist said I have bipolar but not which type. He said I had mania and not hypomania. I'm unsure if this is an official diagnosis or not.



Thanks for reading.",7.040115606936418,7.231905410404629,8.072606936416186,67.99919942196534,64.26011560693641,11.313063583815026,35.797109826589605,11.00357731598739,4.179062890173412,728,32,125,19,10,248,106,173,0.096,0.845,0.059000000000000004,-0.4866,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,3,7,6,0,0,10,0,14,3,0,2,3,27,30,14,0,2,11,0,2,0,1,2,3,2,0,0,10,7,0,1,3,1,0,1,7,1,0,1,7,5,8,5,20,18,2,20,0,1,1,0,8,8,0,2,11,86,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.1721452678903636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107055144389827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233460725109158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849566787950188,0.0,0.1978525577078374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15193686899988051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17839075085967254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500495100708392,0.0,0.0,0.13628961778792711,0.0,0.09216402895472407,0.0,0.10025469748496403,0.14795965857260782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15599384657773294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3122247222666653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080432554977432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728388780115813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17946671431374026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876278153883438,0.1764521581705652,0.0,0.11300918894832428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33560200044818106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14057148408403033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459235596573432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817535963704954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3325181575646492,0.18335173707989927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16240948983387438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286283627557777,0.0,0.0,0.16856198355643545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,___THE_guy___,2018/12/08,"I just started treatment for bipolar... I just started treatment for bipolar disorder yesterday. My psychiatrist is pretty sure I am bipolar, but he says I might also have ADHD.

Before this I was being treated for severe anxiety and depression.

I was wondering what advice the community has for me about living with bipolar disorder, things to help the side effects of having bipolar, and how anxiety fits into all of that.

I also have a very hard time forming and keeping relationships and was wondering if i could get some advice on that too.

I like to punch walls at work, because it doesn't hurt.",7.261230158730157,8.468616101851854,7.7993650793650815,66.62500000000001,63.907407407407405,10.245502645502649,38.57671957671958,10.290406445055957,4.5280830687830695,481,25,71,11,7,159,75,108,0.168,0.713,0.11900000000000001,-0.698,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,7,5,0,0,3,0,13,5,0,2,2,20,19,9,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,1,5,1,0,0,6,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,2,11,3,13,13,3,10,0,2,0,0,4,6,0,5,5,61,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970929602408045,0.3205126492558348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26229726312556617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509150669063329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09997127002839704,0.0,0.13954967653457118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13093854939152302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14125068803741492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3759103710438249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568185317919935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14690942446000196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992397518627746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17556256846002707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14576839103825934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012082750427961,0.0,0.14481267568291922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739752853535846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668442758067492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17607179305513804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13041728505417366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18527033966294448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23215635457379105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15456557335328916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895256051875853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956281809217534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13531499927857166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3556962880043376,0.11939203311932327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,S_Seaborn,2019/02/21,"Recent Bipolar II diagnosis. Scared and confused. Off the bat, I'm an alcoholic who has been trying (mostly unsuccessfully) to stop drinking for a while. 

Went to a 10-day detox in January. I thought I could dry out and get back into the groove that was my 6 months of clean time. But instead, I relapsed a week out. Spent the most of February bunny hopping - few days drinking, few days drying out - and realized that I had to get my ass back to rehab.

So here I am; 4th rehab in 3 years. I've been to this one twice before, I guess 3 times if you count my short stint in their detox a few weeks back. Most of the time, I get sober for 6 months and relapse +/- 7 days. 

The psychiatrist who has been seeing me whenever I end up back here diagnosed me with Bipolar II yesterday. And I feel weird about it. 

Which brings me here. I don't know what to do next. 

I don't know if I should get a second opinion or just accept this one; we've met about 4 times this year alone for 1+ hours each time, and like I said he's the same psychiatrist who has done all of my evaluations here over the years. He would like to put me on Lamictal.",2.408298017771699,3.935957476190481,3.761102756892232,89.75187969924816,75.96969696969697,7.114240145819093,22.54750512645249,7.85451343220497,0.8339038961038949,871,24,195,13,19,286,134,231,0.068,0.884,0.048,-0.5106,0,1,3,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,1,0,13,6,0,2,13,0,16,11,1,0,1,35,32,12,0,5,5,0,1,2,0,2,8,1,1,0,11,12,3,1,6,2,1,3,2,3,0,4,11,3,23,3,28,18,9,41,0,0,1,1,9,12,1,9,28,126,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425419044037631,0.0,0.13010890645087014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38638938282790003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689704138689582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10030079525106046,0.0,0.0,0.3240691681714505,0.0,0.0,0.12750603772747787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12855729246867492,0.0,0.2461280106292607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126585788906412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0635194294347463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625340834275249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13838934855913254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12371464748673673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380796788990394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274739184444555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200544263147396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13360288666630862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17025257722291673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12628713659447058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403885794120716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949749346812664,0.0,0.12577185699519502,0.0,0.10010631628359427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502755437955973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099731675594358,0.3662627484204096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529066527608226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20153649965387985,0.0,0.0,0.11645500074897393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923991069952822,0.0,0.0,0.24269382483289906
bipolarreddit,dontlookback76,2019/02/21,"Bipolar and belief (or lack of) in God. So I wasn't really raised in the church, but my mom did take me when I was in elementary school once in awhile.  I didn't really become a Christian until my early 30's (I'm 42 now) during what I recognize now as a hypomanic phase.  My wife has always been Christian for what it's worth.  Over the last year I have lost my faith.  I'm not sure I believe God exists.  I got to thinking, why would He create someone with this illness (and others as well, not just this one) then punish them for hypersexuality, or killing yourself because you cant stand the pain anymore, the constant ups and downs, the mixed episodes. Why?   If there is a God than maybe He is a sick fuck who likes to see people suffer.  Did any of you have this happen to you, the lack of faith because of this illness?  Alternatively, has bipolar strengthened your faith in God? ",4.482206165703275,5.496365231213878,5.2429046242774575,83.15121628131024,70.09826589595376,7.385163776493258,27.133429672447015,7.492282038375204,1.3593394990366092,687,22,138,7,12,223,110,173,0.204,0.613,0.183,-0.8539,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,4,1,1,7,12,3,0,10,0,14,7,0,0,1,17,23,13,1,4,7,2,0,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,2,0,1,0,5,6,1,1,8,1,17,6,22,14,2,18,7,2,1,1,10,8,1,3,10,92,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15363781461403475,0.0,0.0,0.12556361023028956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18311629716838107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22511338712824788,0.2039237494473275,0.0,0.2080294955334864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995335486356661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17069953061252818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14767591990026568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632792452390558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204280185084114,0.0,0.0,0.15050873518390004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09020727081832226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20155970798561967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18549876816003014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21625171639348653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19663882927876256,0.12511891381389004,0.0,0.19647323062299324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12800824678075234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23657414034425306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868686309939236,0.1471366103658266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564474627451703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740238957707302,0.0,0.1388285995199249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183118151679252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16601628270513658,0.0,0.3332232785472212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13116512980539569,0.0,0.0,0.11890407474878635
bipolarreddit,itastechili,2019/02/21,"Bipolar ll depression help When your body feels 10 tons and you can’t even get up to brush your teeth. 

People always have some sort of “fix it” but it never seems like it’s coming from a source that feels it and figured out ways to cope with it. It always feels like sympathy and the “tricks” never help. 

I’m getting on SSI and for years haven’t really had a job to leave the house because I get major anxiety and panic attacks. 

I’m a single mom of a 3 year old. I can’t be like this for her. 

What works for you? Everyone is so different with what works and I want to try something different. ",1.9287139689578725,3.7340804227642295,3.3530229120473045,90.93911308203992,78.10569105691056,6.749150036954916,20.937915742793788,7.686295010490155,0.6760634146341462,464,12,101,7,11,152,80,123,0.183,0.7390000000000001,0.078,-0.9126,3,0,1,0,1,0,8.0,0,4,0,2,3,7,2,1,6,0,7,3,2,0,2,21,18,9,0,1,1,1,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,10,10,0,0,5,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,1,4,8,3,15,16,4,11,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,3,9,61,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26357785034459263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116401536989968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18018568951421013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654996527403327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17592991914419406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13643456742990948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364166827236654,0.0,0.0,0.33095702104587865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10461173302180274,0.0,0.0,0.1513435598709622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402524938915208,0.11315020456954315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482487202588305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123241203998728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827549100221548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571725745628824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16770674066344746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321365861732379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854984812284515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443123987819628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16619830987487622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18583055481264366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980414749328478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146542294243556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14418766490141635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193243439700292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10753295078684794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341951793074857,0.12571856181277286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23061218784942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20398936614811056
bipolarreddit,AliveDifference,2019/02/21,"On too much medication, and scared for my future. Let's see where can I start. I'm 30 and I've been hospitalized twice in the span of a year. I don't have much work experience except working in a factory and logistics for a year. I'm heavily dependent on my mom for support. I also was recently diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. 

Currently, I am on Seroquel 300mg, Zyprexa 20mg, trileptal 600mg, and a Long acting injectable of Invega. I'm going to try to tell the doctor I don't need three antipsychotics to functuion

I said some really obscene things while I was hospitalized and if I had done  (which I did not do thankfully) those things while in psychosis I probably would been put in jail or prison. The reason why I decompensated so bad was because I titrated too fast off of Seroquel and started to become extremely delusional. 

I'm really unsure what I can do with my life job wise. I feel like I'm 100 percent disabled on so much medication. I just want my life back and I dunno if I can take back what I was saying to the nurses and psychiatrist.. They know I was sick.. but I don't know my future is really bleak/fucked",2.9729767243220167,5.248758439461888,4.9021012171684815,78.83065769805681,76.71300448430493,8.91129617766389,26.762545376895154,9.48565724429506,2.742881443519112,904,36,171,26,21,309,129,223,0.066,0.899,0.035,-0.726,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,2,9,6,0,1,8,0,23,7,0,2,0,27,41,17,0,5,7,1,1,1,0,1,7,2,0,0,6,10,0,0,4,0,0,3,4,2,0,2,11,4,26,4,23,28,5,28,0,0,1,0,5,11,0,6,15,116,32,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887936380746924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093823880700036,0.1136798323828492,0.08299597296603009,0.150367334543456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13818971151500048,0.0,0.0,0.15604006523044814,0.13935562438217075,0.0,0.13932905042007487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13318114071854778,0.0,0.0,0.06884169397488381,0.0972658176820728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258687793628214,0.0,0.0,0.07737736592894917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351081868584644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14964931334408574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13922292934298705,0.19233399861629127,0.0665161704124824,0.0,0.0,0.1204887511157052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743142525934782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15945761233139247,0.0,0.0,0.3002584583423234,0.10095373906641288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14679307548158524,0.0,0.0,0.1368686792020398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26166414899111456,0.13998520745501533,0.13443201828748882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12951013491941812,0.10827220121925657,0.13631022455594966,0.0,0.10849417968446604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19273579822108228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15450177265203602,0.0,0.0,0.10236809849165708,0.0,0.1190013830360934,0.12534892469347278,0.0,0.0,0.18090444914476064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243713191539556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803049878130327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285448933430715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982381128161328,0.0,0.0,0.09671728284389018,0.0,0.0,0.17535268780401658
bipolarreddit,moodymadge,2019/02/21,"School/Work Questions Bipolar type I. Senior in college with a campus job. Been in a huge depressive episode, the kind where it's draining to be in public or even leave my room. I haven't really left bed in over a week and have forgotten about work shifts and not shown up. If I go out in public, I have severe anxiety and paranoia. I got an increase in medication but don't feel better yet. I am afraid I will get fired from my job/that I'm going to fail classes at school. I've gone to the office of disabilities but they dont recognize my disorder as a disability where they can give help/accommodations. any tips on how to not get fired and how to save myself from being failed in class? I have a near perfect transcript so this would greatly affect it. thank u in advance",3.777172043010754,5.3141683032258085,4.825564516129036,83.47168010752691,72.41935483870971,7.747311827956989,26.46505376344086,8.344100000000001,1.6953763440860208,617,21,123,10,12,202,108,155,0.18600000000000005,0.687,0.128,-0.8283,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,2,6,8,10,0,1,8,0,13,2,0,3,1,20,23,12,0,2,6,0,3,0,0,2,2,0,2,0,3,6,0,0,2,0,0,5,5,4,0,0,3,3,14,6,25,16,1,27,0,3,0,0,6,19,0,3,3,80,17,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220327534004074,0.0,0.13727943355972544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870972221745427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15456078172409182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20566625767988125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21031509723642133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185256151266671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907357578404501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18751135857742585,0.17214563776646374,0.2039721433880616,0.0,0.14352326349422045,0.1978452309343557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028214354970343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3561546213410882,0.0,0.0,0.18687047896869685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19001257338773606,0.194973908371109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180777884435752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20102605711595267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149608301186747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.363227746040902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027284180096004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16521426216933766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14394467323885712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612847587073458,0.0,0.0,0.12747675788325705,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Mixedup1997,2019/02/21,"Medication help I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 when I was 15. I spent a lot of time in and out of inpatient psych and on a lot of meds. I had some success with Valproic acid but came off of it when I moved across the country about 2 years ago. I have yet to track down a psychiatrist because wait lists are long but after a really crippling few months of depression that cost me my job, I went on 350mg of Wellbutrin XL. I have had really good luck with the Wellbutrin helping my depression, I don’t tolerate ssri’s at all. For about the past 6 weeks I’ve been feeling like I’m manic and it’s getting really hard to deal with now. I feel really impulsive and self destructive and I need help but I don’t know where to get it. Should I go to a walk in clinic? Is there anything I can even go on without having to stop taking Wellbutrin because that has been the only thing that has ever helped the depression. I’m not sure where to go or who to ask for help. Thanks in advance. ",3.257293729372936,4.415414168316836,4.616455445544556,85.95049174917494,73.15841584158416,8.158943894389441,26.33795379537953,8.648137234880735,1.732270231023103,770,26,164,14,15,256,123,202,0.11699999999999999,0.7240000000000001,0.159,0.7056,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,11,10,1,0,10,0,17,4,0,0,3,31,35,11,0,2,6,0,3,1,0,1,4,0,0,1,8,11,0,2,3,0,2,8,4,4,0,0,9,4,17,6,34,25,5,35,0,3,0,0,9,13,0,5,15,110,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544103189494928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716818860084393,0.0,0.1217474644665812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587739909654964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14894841926607602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13426140525057215,0.3365007085528511,0.1321807024094264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601568269106215,0.11780048521979047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316963956997213,0.09303633360757103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13607959345436876,0.0,0.22203811992116712,0.1092307400976292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666049468678852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4364520986419372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292331740505681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157099879596465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06362379681031928,0.0,0.0,0.11524944643349715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22143376735751236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14465616488560912,0.13119301788536855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394833860205152,0.13841387357326615,0.0,0.09656389028070228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904577868985318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431926493398855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337146750876208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358582856625732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887810614824472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274022796850033,0.0,0.09791674803138856,0.0,0.0,0.11989828135975952,0.0,0.0,0.0865190211875837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593815667943647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10446264569182097,0.0,0.0,0.12072450899140755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12553706677617504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386384626325735
bipolarreddit,Shamelessfanforlife,2019/02/21,"Aye How do you guys know when you're going manic, or does it happen too fast for you guys to realize?",6.4831818181818175,3.9683300454545463,7.471818181818183,80.67772727272728,66.72727272727273,10.618181818181819,26.54545454545455,8.841846274778883,1.5970363636363645,79,1,18,1,1,27,19,22,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35448136102735495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23021183307947646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8021702114785515,0.3582039572276846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22261705558484107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,NocturnalWeather,2019/02/21,"Self(ish) Rant I've generally been the kind of person who when bad news is received my brain can take awhile for it to sink in. My grandma recently passed away, I love her and miss her and this isn't at all her fault obviously, but, at work a few of my bosses kept telling me that it's alright if I need a day or whatever to myself. They asked if I was okay how I was holding up how my mom was holding up.
But the thing that irks me down to the core is that all of the sudden it took the death of a family member to think I might not be alright. They never thought to ask or say anything the multitude of days I called in sick or didn't call in at all and just didn't show up. They just don't understand, I'm not depressed today. I'm depressed almost every day. It just makes me feel that without a, in their opinion, legitimate reason to be depressed I'm the one in the wrong. Maybe they just considered me lazy and apathetic up until this point. ",2.844393939393939,4.022024752525256,4.21860606060606,88.32790909090912,74.20202020202021,7.300202020202018,25.32121212121212,7.793537801064563,1.1729490909090905,743,24,164,10,15,246,113,198,0.128,0.775,0.09699999999999999,-0.7573,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,5,1,7,12,0,0,12,3,14,3,1,5,5,41,30,15,1,3,14,1,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,12,4,0,3,5,1,0,3,8,7,0,1,9,2,23,5,28,18,4,27,0,4,0,1,19,15,0,8,9,115,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14765332460977384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134162060511686,0.0,0.2756981308690797,0.0,0.13853736455512458,0.0,0.12311746664691227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16460680934112668,0.3011329053159649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28528581867869585,0.0,0.3810043058827208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423588622665067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390059840294717,0.0,0.07455689179172655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15355007123030967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330824902215512,0.0,0.098426318897841,0.0,0.1481368036377232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564248022620438,0.0,0.17269569154263065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093348603869454,0.1137251862675054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991826981311007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875065979960498,0.0,0.0,0.13939116579193234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15160669881937758,0.14559248708290706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726089705609663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15382610054491236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086663911773917,0.0,0.12888080937294796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796151620301977,0.09448221303784364,0.0,0.11706156386582195,0.0,0.0,0.13976862368031873,0.0,0.1638262018548881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15350423548059902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213985817535688,0.0,0.10734786343012444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16121719343875585,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Stardust3691992,2018/12/15,"Stopped lithium again I was first diagnosed bipolar after my manic psychosis landed me in hospital. I went there 3 times from dec 2017-jan 2018. 

Since then I’ve been on and off lithium. I don’t take anti psychotics. They make me feel very strange. I haven’t had a manic episode in months and I miss them. It was only time when I can work and function. 

Now I spend my time mostly depressed wishing for hypo mania and my drive to come back. Even on lithium I’ve been depressed which is why I just stopped taking it last few days.  Also I read that lithium causes kidney damage which is another reason i stopped it. 

My doctor says feeling middle is normal. But normal to me feels foreign. I felt so alive and euphoric when I was manic. 

Is there any cure for depression ?  I hate this side of my bipolar",2.3334686907020874,4.92875775483871,3.1155597722960167,88.96510436432641,81.12903225806451,4.67931688804554,25.246679316888045,5.900188976854957,0.8146318785578757,632,25,115,4,17,199,103,155,0.179,0.7509999999999999,0.07,-0.9399,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,2,2,11,6,1,0,1,0,13,5,1,3,0,22,25,11,0,3,2,0,4,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,7,6,0,3,5,1,1,3,2,6,0,1,8,5,23,0,12,17,2,28,0,5,0,0,3,8,0,1,17,77,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991177594609136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10196843370455162,0.1572314732849725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11529923177042585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15403586440808353,0.0,0.12916521686807644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967027765027688,0.0,0.3874448552228794,0.15219205132887614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534761025724893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903793032251952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274516353235532,0.0,0.14397169138597646,0.0,0.0,0.12754400580613515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14804064876919565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12222601721476507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10009013096884384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968548052553413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29383052100906765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404070306407793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14998659492847874,0.0,0.0,0.15416947936796624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11924309143421873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403689509816734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3760847540704879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254814881553691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26230418575123665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372116797779932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13900146038082628,0.1353029580984409,0.0,0.17243051995603434,0.0,0.0,0.10916248652048692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lucaslk1212,2018/12/15,"What does ""the barn"" mean I have a friend who is bipolar and she said she was going to the barn and that she is forced to sit locked up before she had a big mood swing causing her to write on prectect grammar and she seemed to forget my name, if anyone knows what the barn means it would be great if you could aswer",7.1968181818181804,4.8592165606060655,6.220303030303032,89.65045454545454,65.21212121212122,8.8,28.060606060606066,3.1291,0.7158242424242425,247,4,58,0,3,74,49,66,0.069,0.8290000000000001,0.10300000000000001,0.5267,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,5,0,8,1,0,1,0,15,14,5,0,4,2,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,9,2,6,8,0,5,0,0,0,0,12,3,0,3,0,38,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932361724478453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23516058707167856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28389613493062954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22064964183271624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418430400084864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21351376294034924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15706080961918448,0.0,0.0,0.30468603833540103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518793127072808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6020704848478067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628800605982305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515862475426419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19631703102400166,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,seymour_butt,2018/12/15,"Long time lurker, I need help I’m bipolar 1, and I am terrified that I’m going to lose my job. I’m on the up swing of a depressive episode and I need to be sedated before I go full on manic. Im feeling all the signs and getting write up today has really shaken me to the core. I’m taking fmla to go to my psychiatrist on Wednesday but I just need some kind words and affirmations. 
",0.2423848238482407,2.3200506097560982,3.5047967479674824,86.1628319783198,85.58536585365854,6.571273712737128,21.30623306233063,7.793537801064563,1.0937436314363145,298,10,64,6,9,108,54,82,0.094,0.809,0.09699999999999999,0.3079,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,4,0,3,1,0,0,1,15,16,5,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,1,8,1,11,15,3,13,0,2,0,0,2,6,0,1,4,36,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20178041165828245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20423997165012706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990019979368224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12389078954160322,0.0,0.4042998261100909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15894343516236695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561414053929111,0.0,0.23531522341681854,0.0,0.0,0.2469347068581965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098528449479325,0.0,0.2652881393771479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5274873169912843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15191173609762718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17829246715118682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382725792828611,0.0,0.224771788381042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rleekc,2019/06/05,"Worried about Akathisia and Latuda's Long Term Effects Hi BipolarReddit,

So I'm stable on latuda, welbutrin,  and propranolal right  now and I was researching benzodiazapines to see if that would relax my slight restlessness I get from latuda. Then I found out that benzodiazapines have withdrawal effects that can cause severe akathisia. Then I started researching more into akathisia and now I'm worried that one day I would get severe akathisia like that people that cant stop twitching. *Googling always starts a worry train for me...*  I've gotten off latuda before from the violent impulses I got that scared me. But the quality of life with latuda was much better than what I had before vraylar and depakote, ie I was able to read, drive, and play sports with more intensity. Besides olanzapine that gave me extreme extra pyramidal side effect, latuda kinda gives me some. Right now I take 30 mg of propranalol at night with 40 mg of latuda and in the morning 300 mg of welbutrin. I don't have the impulses like that first time I took latuda anymore - thank goodness! - I think it was partly due to the propranolol that I don't recall taking on my first time with latuda. Now I'm stable for about 1 year in this cocktail. What do you guys think about akathisia long term? Do people in latuda get super severe akathisia like non-stop moving like the youtube videos? Right now with the propanolal, I only feel a slight urge to punch my thighs or to move my legs but no where near extreme akathisia. I hope some people here can calm my rumination right now. 

Thanks,",6.485105263157895,8.076764273684214,5.742236842105264,79.27440789473684,65.91228070175438,8.085964912280701,30.03947368421053,8.395991825355821,2.2428631578947367,1258,45,215,17,20,381,153,285,0.068,0.8059999999999999,0.126,0.929,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,0,7,12,16,1,2,9,0,16,4,2,4,0,33,39,14,0,4,4,0,1,4,0,2,2,0,0,1,14,14,1,1,7,6,0,4,4,3,0,3,10,2,25,13,32,27,9,43,0,0,1,0,5,16,0,6,27,129,39,3,0.1048358322439491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723181065038653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10396897535753513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17841514343140735,0.0,0.0,0.09271877422623112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769527807359904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067610438945336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05300814674685035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17834661070258678,0.0,0.11494707892326657,0.0,0.0,0.1643171862241674,0.10056808303293703,0.0,0.08793132218385309,0.0838467919810209,0.0,0.0,0.10380395618757557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10412563619707706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404864867779487,0.20486996868785715,0.0,0.0,0.18555282508929025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228477972594116,0.07706639926476233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09838132678690588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103947310116362,0.07973237450505126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352699014292394,0.0,0.21803989804694532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486420230902477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3581169116923077,0.0,0.0,0.104958956834997,0.0,0.08354058515747081,0.0,0.0,0.3553039503071971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14840668329866896,0.0,0.0,0.17529489998753306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15764699773429558,0.0,0.0,0.19303749838392076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343491364330979,0.0,0.0,0.12226123369775414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164764670335506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31939762948838235,0.0,0.14894473467826125,0.0,0.0,0.06751083878732833
bipolarreddit,D3v0n2019,2019/06/05,"Clueless with depression   

Hi all. I am new here. I hope that everyone is doing okay. I need to express myself to a group who understands. I hope that this helps someone as well.  

I have been diagnosed since I was 24. I am 42 now. I still have barely any clue about predicting my depressions, how hard they will hit, or what kind of episode I am going to have. I can somewhat anticipate around certain times of the month but am still learning. I am not sure what goes on w/ me due to medications, hormones and life. Most of the time I am in “remission” but there are times that I am destroyed, like today. I have not felt this bad in a while. This is out of the ordinary and I could not tell you why. I could guess and attempt to deduce, but I realize lately that I will never truly know. I do not drink or use any kind of drugs except caffeine and my meds. 

Does anyone else get discouraged because you cannot predict these cycles more readily? Sometimes while I am depressed and have tried a new med and it does not work, for example, I feel even more depressed because I tried and still did not get it right. I would like to be able to find a way to forecast this so I can continue to work a normal job and not have to call out as much, be there for my family and feel okay about facing the day. Thank you.",2.464767730203341,4.303915866920153,3.5859150272772347,89.71995040502561,76.6425855513308,7.007373119523888,23.98231112580592,7.893859768569023,1.1558690362043311,1015,33,216,16,23,328,148,263,0.131,0.7859999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.9529,1,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,3,1,3,14,19,1,0,9,2,32,6,1,3,4,52,47,20,0,7,13,0,4,2,0,3,4,0,0,0,14,13,1,1,9,1,0,1,9,7,1,0,4,4,33,12,29,35,6,27,0,5,0,0,11,7,0,7,20,158,47,4,0.10638599973641892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14469225590428542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438756461340529,0.10900502884576184,0.0,0.094706094907152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882786603373212,0.12970383600034294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086320003987262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16988112816388934,0.0,0.0,0.06861016873582207,0.0,0.3665204227361805,0.10797955032476356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18619821058388225,0.0,0.0,0.10421777816858956,0.12337398437471485,0.0,0.08887185162645568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026694947564506,0.0,0.0,0.10165638182000844,0.0,0.0,0.10029125243998584,0.0,0.1075839160167294,0.0,0.1021472432995832,0.0,0.09723487641419724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111164587884135,0.0,0.06046161531653287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11719617277332894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530095942390414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130829310269246,0.0,0.0,0.2113306045825961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557168910934073,0.0,0.0,0.22156929521353244,0.05846696322088332,0.0,0.12000804155066125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514357782162548,0.103949651413601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363417254005907,0.10717270235961847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491629000796813,0.0,0.07820595073628532,0.07888387079244667,0.08205144148557376,0.20549652295711635,0.0,0.0,0.10423569185518383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085306249167488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800359834455279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014051234104972,0.0,0.1052184740222878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254879990441707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10026754572498377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298605292238038,0.09794593514745564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861035959395589,0.0,0.10084148836168276,0.0,0.0,0.14445822092119778,0.0,0.0,0.11075157762940444,0.0,0.0918833461023178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844442547300861,0.0,0.0,0.09565379020798176,0.0,0.09599681747839056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15490054971850914,0.0,0.0,0.07557356184930301,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,themildones,2019/06/05,"[insert title here?]  I'm coming down from a manic episode and I feel so scattered, like I'm thinking/blinking/moving really slow. It's bizarre. So excuse the mess this post is. 

Panic disorder and bipolar are kicking my ass lately. I have almost constant chest pain/trouble catching my breath because of anxiety. I'm finally moving up in the world and it's really making my emotions go crazy. I have a car for the first time and I'm driving, something I've never done and never thought I'd be able to do because of my panic disorder. I'm using the supportive employment at my therapist's office to try to get a job for the first time in almost 5 years. I don't know if I can handle it and I'm scared shitless.

My bipolar episodes have been going nuts and I feel so lonely, because I don't know anyone else who has it so I feel like no one I talk to understands what it's like to be manic or come down from being manic. I feel like I'm crazy or something. All of my friends (all 2 of them, that is) are perfectly fine talking about anxiety and depression but once you start talking about being manic or paranoia it's like you've crossed the 'let's raise awareness of mental health!11!!' line into 'she's fucking crazy' territory. It makes me sad and lonely as fuck.

I don't even know what the point of this post is? lol. Sorry.",1.8250481540930965,4.175375805243448,3.50870385232745,86.89108146067416,81.20973782771536,5.911663991439272,24.89151952915998,7.1686216300943375,1.2639407169609422,1048,41,201,14,28,348,142,267,0.19,0.722,0.08800000000000001,-0.9735,2,4,2,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,1,3,8,19,2,3,10,1,21,7,3,3,5,36,49,19,0,1,5,0,4,5,1,0,2,0,0,0,13,12,0,0,9,0,0,9,6,10,0,3,3,4,22,9,25,41,2,32,0,4,0,3,9,9,3,6,17,119,35,2,0.10327735837124324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068347120505842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15801379294288054,0.0,0.0,0.07221393029136255,0.10581985840489884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18887075723197908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17792859886910695,0.0,0.11160613444557847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895263743135612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367296004483227,0.0,0.0,0.10568859474673076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627498065799889,0.1161731274152436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821372117224149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20888054211963936,0.14756273091241626,0.0,0.1131352979383015,0.0,0.17569533654263306,0.0,0.0,0.07979183088705821,0.1909565072500657,0.05395815713320397,0.0,0.11738980558007035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977900248162813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248684222563544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702756056737336,0.0,0.11650135868785598,0.0,0.0,0.10560809618970618,0.0,0.25228050279658104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13787687734927126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040792861442838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097674875430332,0.0,0.0,0.15930773124617806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10998701605702772,0.06998341087139727,0.0,0.10989439090217944,0.24234745539739205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763048585314793,0.0,0.19782232164193053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13232424068103985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339865261045314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15901591229879145,0.0,0.11561054725473968,0.07310024582081226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171979223876188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24903128574600186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991297317071445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199068635389073,0.12044371640157478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011854703022304,0.0,0.0,0.10751537233613057,0.0,0.08919847806355237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650723270987878
bipolarreddit,misticlese,2019/06/05,"How do you know if you should stay in a relationship? I know that it's not easy to be in a relationship with someone like me. 

My husband and I survived my manic episode that led to me being hospitalised and my diagnosis. Prior to that I always had hypomanic and depressive episodes (in retrospect my therapist and I view certain times of my life as such)

But throughout everything, I always loved my husband, felt connected to him, and felt like he was my soul mate. In the most manic time of my life I still felt this strong connection to him. 

It's still taking me time to come terms with the idea that while I felt this level of love and connection to him, he was thinking of leaving me.

It's been a couple of years. I still can't work full time but I do lots of side jobs. I take my medication, I see my therapist, I'm slowly getting better. 

We stay with my parents who are helping us a great deal financially.

My husband has sunk into a deep depression. 

He doesn't want to let me in. He says he feels nothing and has nothing for me. I've said I don't want much, just an acknowledgement that we're still together. A cuddle at night, a little chat, walking together. 

I don't know how we can get through this if he won't at least try. He doesn't want me to help him, he doesn't want to do anything with me. 

Am I just a shit person because I just don't see us coming out of this? He's dealt with a lot from me. But I've always relied on him and opened up to him. I don't feel like he's even there anymore.

Has anyone been through something like this? What did you do? How did things turn out?",2.5004649330181223,4.039432431610944,3.939121918270857,88.5241798941799,75.74772036474164,7.184104469210852,24.95114263199369,7.921354282810032,1.2321198018687376,1246,42,272,19,27,412,157,329,0.057999999999999996,0.8240000000000001,0.11800000000000001,0.9648,2,0,1,0,0,0,36.0,4,3,0,4,13,13,1,0,12,0,30,7,1,4,1,55,57,18,0,7,9,4,6,4,1,2,3,2,0,1,16,21,0,0,12,1,0,4,10,3,0,0,12,11,50,10,40,40,7,37,1,2,3,3,40,18,1,5,17,182,66,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22664535781612516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004393177975771,0.06348575590483845,0.0,0.07471629080723426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05534759818413968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030052188568036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15642316587281965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004625937052014,0.0,0.0,0.09360533503326082,0.15640266093463495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05996903414935183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08160040977984366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09181704317140513,0.06486374220014951,0.3487085503159945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487295260103673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10010146243501217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171552902519385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024961495274828,0.0,0.0,0.09009971653312177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496951556955232,0.0,0.0,0.09613846331966118,0.0,0.09284371850726313,0.12826194443097153,0.17743079049122845,0.0910001285251378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15438079128170562,0.16389149891286395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09146609459558126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674454157160163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520466270960682,0.0,0.17423990094752348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081675456713983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927841816548901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19495902874513146,0.0,0.0,0.08636653866600895,0.07220357896218027,0.0,0.0,0.1447032198767392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319944097046877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693004325873158,0.06989818551943401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19355011045148912,0.2900350157951672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13653260946792375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108392581271809,0.06031995531328652,0.058177569000993724,0.0,0.0,0.21177244747351884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06164363223552614,0.098758546596328,0.0,0.0,0.21842965728638164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142122341033178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06609961315484708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05846880130592577
bipolarreddit,artcatswhiskey,2019/06/05,"Losing my doctor It's a tale as old as time: my doctor is no longer accepting my insurance. Apparently the insurance company hasn't paid him in months for any of his patients with that insurance.

So now I'm stuck trying to find another doctor. I've had this guy for 4 years, which is a long run for me. I'm just coming off of a 6 week 'high' (as I prefer to call it) in March and April, and we've been working on adjusting my meds since then. He kept me out of the hospital and suggested FMLA, which I foolishly declined. I might need to consider one of those options. It's the absolute worst time for this to happen. 

I have no one to talk about it with since I don't tell anyone about this stuff. Anyone have advice on an easy/quick way to get a new doctor. In the past I would just stop going, but I need to be better this time.",3.3659633911367983,4.102874531791913,4.9700722543352605,85.1072856454721,72.46820809248554,8.772447013487477,24.24325626204239,9.075114841892004,1.598877071290944,646,17,141,13,12,219,107,173,0.079,0.8859999999999999,0.035,-0.4646,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,3,6,4,0,0,9,0,11,4,0,0,0,21,22,9,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,13,7,0,2,4,0,1,3,4,2,0,2,5,0,15,2,29,14,1,27,0,1,0,0,8,8,0,2,15,91,28,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13483367830212656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938319800039039,0.1446853690035776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19295939320930652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203320064958555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14089428111398272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885862718536845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5649186150837617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261123606423611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208950694905462,0.0,0.07841792283807521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662312858829215,0.12201636163713762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14578476387462144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210906218393848,0.0,0.15436572192244016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15326606053157515,0.0,0.0,0.14637629879725478,0.0,0.0,0.11013531548370006,0.0,0.0,0.20462269360770044,0.0,0.13326314882905094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14478810850046872,0.0,0.18699932882724712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13171871381825334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282790278866085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535850145533792,0.0,0.0,0.15795551687421727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090410025185383,0.1206016922457331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413739254215071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368020985064966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952309191335692,0.11068023399176888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045199166288203,0.0,0.0,0.09801791947951198,0.0,0.0,0.08885539961576723
bipolarreddit,WillGrindForXP,2019/06/05,"Trying out Quetiapine for the first time - Does the RLS side effect eventually wear off? I've been having a hard time finding a medication that helps me, as Im very sensitive to side effects and pretty much experience all the ones listed for each med. That is apart from Quetiapine which i've just started to take, past the first 2 days all side effects went away, apart from RLS....which is driving me utterly insane.   


Has anyone else experienced this? Will it eventually go away if I stick this out?",6.476774193548387,7.453572537634411,6.949623655913983,72.84443548387098,65.55913978494624,10.070967741935485,30.553763440860216,10.125756701596842,3.0100408602150543,398,14,72,9,6,130,65,93,0.048,0.883,0.069,0.4492,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,6,0,6,2,1,3,2,12,10,3,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,2,2,3,0,12,7,4,20,0,0,0,0,1,10,0,1,7,43,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14273125074448767,0.2091535619623012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.383570507067089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13164586377236331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17863404737835528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705229980917622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19967664258386889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18656956439844294,0.34726284850477346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160108147243424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828588582838513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13682289393256553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22049358821276047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267405193653666,0.2056377827793332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15005778482281734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383226162145985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19486355607826172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20767186242380672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14448305851290866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15347907447125658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380577018443676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385897136138424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16842722219973388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892289754155081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PopPunkJess,2019/06/05,"Help me work this out... So, I had an appointment with my GP this morning. I asked him to fill in a form for University which helps me receive some help. He has previously said he thinks I have Bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia or Schizoaffective. Obviously, he is a General Practitioner and doesn’t have the knowledge that a psychiatrist or whatever we call them has. 

He put “Fluctuating moods between depression and hypomania” and “no formal diagnosis but likely to be a personality disorder with psychotic symptoms” and he said he put that because people call it a mental health issue because it can be fixed with medication and people call it a personality disorder because it can’t be fixed with meds and I’m kinda like do i have a suspected personality disorder or bipo/schizo(affective) - you know? 

Anyone been diagnosed with a personality disorder and it then been changed to something else?",8.380192307692306,9.77957150641026,9.101692307692307,57.59330769230772,61.5,13.163076923076925,40.6,12.516099999999998,6.019089230769231,729,39,110,27,10,246,95,156,0.14300000000000002,0.805,0.052000000000000005,-0.9371,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,1,1,1,1,1,4,0,0,10,0,16,5,0,0,1,27,22,14,0,0,5,0,0,2,0,0,5,2,0,4,10,14,0,0,4,0,0,4,3,1,0,0,5,2,11,2,12,14,2,7,0,1,0,0,24,2,0,6,3,76,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07553183966640653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009864502106667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19754852970002312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33090913297404634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142734757034814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930396160582996,0.109640557864304,0.0,0.0,0.6190156855198158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023893284841376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11482286008703994,0.0,0.0,0.21721560274929647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11274741892969682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05936633783794588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10554866858130812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199886392451026,0.10882129846987126,0.10886126709799612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14977839250172345,0.3772843016224167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21718488558004068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055082579733864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316099361784962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227673265762468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06921645259372992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864166239600373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ShroomProphet,2019/06/05,"Just need to ping out to some of you satellites Been doing okay in general but just feeling like the corner is a little empty lately, and it's a bad time for that. Wanted to reach out and just talk to whoever 

This achy heart just hurts. One day at a time I guess.",1.7110909090909097,3.5321579272727317,3.0745454545454542,92.6118181818182,78.81818181818181,5.854545454545455,18.272727272727273,6.742157984588678,-0.06434545454545447,206,4,45,2,5,67,44,55,0.174,0.7020000000000001,0.124,-0.7236,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,1,3,1,1,0,0,15,7,3,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,2,2,10,6,1,10,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,2,5,31,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459852057306165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18999765755134185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14896255474960365,0.2104678699076883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3245437041067795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3491116593618233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31538374120877993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33233042859498146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14393048899142954,0.2952744100535024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184479494119408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996338685778306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23679458865731665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3435763526205136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17376731240996932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ruca426,2019/06/05,"Suicidal thoughts creeping in It’s hard to explain but I think mainly my desire to escape life comes from financial troubles. I only feel this way when I feel trapped (like when my car broke down and I was stuck at home, or like now because I’m not getting enough hours at work). It’s not like I have a plan, or even want to die, but lately I just feel like life is never going to get any better. I haven’t dated in two years, haven’t had sex in almost two years, haven’t had real feelings for anyone in a long time either. It seems weird to not date or have sex at my age(23) but anytime I do my self esteem takes a huge dive because I get used or ignored or played. 

I found out I was bipolar 1 when I went to my doctors and peeked at the laptop and under my picture it said “GAD, major depression and Bipolar 1.” I was shocked. The minute the nurse left I cried. Shouldn’t your doctor disclose to you your diagnosis? I just felt like that was really shady. My dad doesn’t believe I’m bipolar. He just thinks I’m like everyone else. I guess he can’t handle the thought that he has a bipolar kid. If all fails living on my own, my dad says I’m more than welcome to live with him, which kind of relieves me but scares me. I just want to be taken care of in a way, I’m tired of doing everything on my own. I’m tired of not having support in real life. It’s funny to me how many “friends” will post all this crap on Facebook about checking on your depressed friends, and mental health awareness and what not but ignore the friend who is reaching out for help. 

I feel like I’ve just been having a hard time because I just started a couple new jobs, and I always get anxious and depressed before my period so that’s probably it. Not trying to make anyone worry or post “check yourself in” because I already have before and it was traumatizing plus I live alone and have cats and no one would be able to take care of them. 


Just agh. I’m on medications which do help, but the lows still are low, which always feels terrible. Thanks for reading",3.3497735732009954,4.552649163461542,4.166625310173701,89.09127791563276,72.99038461538461,6.5215880893300255,25.198200992555837,6.6834051587181325,0.8213122828784112,1596,49,335,12,31,512,215,416,0.196,0.63,0.17300000000000001,-0.9099,1,2,0,0,0,1,38.0,0,4,1,4,16,34,1,1,13,0,31,16,1,3,3,74,74,30,2,6,27,2,9,7,3,3,13,2,1,2,17,16,0,2,14,2,2,4,14,15,0,3,16,11,42,19,45,53,9,50,0,7,0,2,23,24,1,10,25,206,59,7,0.07927425806315737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07938171830739997,0.08210422348810624,0.08748111505199821,0.0,0.1319250664739079,0.0,0.0,0.05390921391308831,0.0,0.0,0.0895573470909249,0.0,0.11086080891213676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19329940767295808,0.0,0.13491310957349667,0.08931494207898505,0.0,0.07011163910261327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16165077889546253,0.0,0.0,0.06828775389888876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771545872639716,0.08707905004999501,0.0,0.0,0.2048364069242676,0.0,0.0822741640783155,0.0,0.0,0.1622811245311516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622347036115214,0.0,0.0,0.08191149992417736,0.0,0.05235989979738129,0.0,0.0,0.07574995080304232,0.07124659151349773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24050068081004264,0.1132670916001307,0.07611571960440232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692013220217552,0.1837412853938874,0.0,0.16567011165463896,0.0,0.0450533877332863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732953271544819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14202832834687,0.0,0.0,0.08426482928970581,0.0,0.0,0.10627172830018453,0.0,0.07951854446526473,0.0,0.07806917560896448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866746890899701,0.0,0.0,0.08255194072127782,0.0,0.0,0.08942481603887657,0.0,0.08613171333896909,0.0,0.16798125866503244,0.2711057873454971,0.0,0.2100018667245092,0.07015522377047423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05291618283185979,0.08037165508923443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986047492369353,0.07988980662317681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06114119492129691,0.07656357242656647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05371828889751972,0.06029164549191205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15184565159116142,0.0,0.0854710581942814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929571080323618,0.18046292203931852,0.05078511964864959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07540797304049564,0.06304207184755747,0.0793673618273545,0.0,0.0,0.0721683072077879,0.08270034023313634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0561107278794698,0.0,0.06330852489197122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671317158835849,0.08995948860761067,0.0,0.0,0.11920875252069983,0.0,0.0,0.07298508599208695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159148722525126,0.0,0.12586981176318568,0.09245091476664616,0.1822281958582736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053822017525917705,0.0,0.15487886225497158,0.0,0.0,0.0684675061443074,0.0,0.0,0.09351602266170674,0.1258484322751015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348803143935262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05771260402183528,0.08050685712719552,0.0,0.056314158438487937,0.0,0.0,0.10210004616805583
bipolarreddit,pphmr,2019/06/05,"I’m really struggling with delusions and paranoia. I feel like my mind is out of control. I keep going through bouts of extreme suspicion of everyone around me. It feels like I KNOW for certain the beliefs my head are making up are one percent true. No one is safe from my distrust either. For example, I love my girlfriend, and I’ll want her, but then I work myself up to tears convincing myself that she’s a fraud. It leaves me feeling rushed (if that makes sense) and panicked and alone. In the moment I’m never able to snap out of it. There’s not thought control. 

I’m in therapy, but she’s on vacation for a couple weeks. I also just started a lithium, and I’m hoping after I give it time to work these periods will go away. Until then, I don’t know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated. Just hearing that someone can relate would really help too though.",2.698662280701754,4.8814293450292405,4.0354349415204664,85.16613486842105,77.18713450292398,6.614181286549706,26.47697368421053,7.645422480735847,1.6054587719298246,682,27,130,10,16,224,112,171,0.125,0.71,0.16399999999999998,0.7346,0,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,4,7,10,1,1,5,0,11,2,1,4,3,37,32,13,0,5,7,0,3,2,1,3,0,1,0,0,9,9,0,4,7,0,0,3,4,2,0,2,1,4,19,8,25,27,2,22,1,0,0,1,8,9,0,2,12,91,28,2,0.14786613573648685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14449307650335108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314472252971387,0.0,0.11824849532590508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10055404284666143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163221024673644,0.0,0.0,0.13892510197996935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3316888890823928,0.0,0.16361106673357206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14129242936024955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2242966833258993,0.21127119383039425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14184667110671836,0.16807146503096146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15175331464682826,0.0,0.16665588155842806,0.0,0.09911155389979734,0.0,0.0,0.14686443676755093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13143021548113312,0.0,0.0,0.16252672233449514,0.0,0.0,0.15656888756040327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444798498276669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13345496058155934,0.0,0.19740358760693255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14930264519681566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404347953809675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003958407614292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18945366576318495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528649696577812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466041193710927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15458179025185426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16909781287618345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452777276037208,0.1173891949671309,0.08622193285591001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721527793685392,0.0,0.11860929493999595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21529661578667889,0.0,0.0,0.2100797206810171,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,drulove,2019/06/05,"[BP1] Does anyone else fall in love extremely fast and completely head over heels almost immediately? I can’t seem to do anything to stop it and my heart gets shattered so freaking hard. I need help with this the most of anything with my disease. It’s like as soon as I connect with a girl she becomes my entire world and everything else takes a backseat and I can’t control my feelings at all. Like I’m unable to prevent myself from thinking this way. 

Are any of you like me?",4.274604863221885,5.702946734042556,4.8365045592705185,84.30500000000002,71.02127659574468,7.073556231003039,30.44984802431611,7.447530270364453,1.8618528875379936,379,16,73,4,7,121,69,94,0.105,0.737,0.158,0.6446,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,2,5,0,0,3,0,4,4,3,1,1,17,12,7,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,7,0,3,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,2,12,4,14,12,2,9,0,0,0,1,5,4,0,3,6,45,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20007509901109047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358737445000071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13970778028294253,0.20472307029897224,0.32884375371698066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206681010451363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094909591926447,0.0,0.22409746089174065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17485004939012516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3338216322820615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17957118030710298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010270344173573,0.14274019919068606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438947625233752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17898536629264872,0.0,0.2050568084347981,0.0,0.0,0.23676900335882214,0.1339245799606044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29284279843655625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18033114037959708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481523228487728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818942889866236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16704530323237507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022793328312367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280264984096552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585953169363698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ramen8ion,2019/06/05,"Tired of seeking help and meeting dead ends I’m really angry basically. I feel so lost and stuck in the system, just to make it clear, I live in the UK. I was diagnosed with bipolar for almost 10 years now (first mood disorder NOS cuz I was a minor, then bipolar at 18). I’ve been hospitalised many times as are most people with bipolar and my last admission was jan 2016 after almost 6 months of being hypomanic and unaware, it turned into a horrible mixed episode where I was wandering the streets confused and unaware. That’s when I had insurance through my uni scholarship and went into a private psychiatrist hospital.

 I don’t have insurance anymore, I started reducing my meds because they affected my health so badly and my mood started going all over the place, spent the past months at home never leaving and feeling extremely suicidal, I have planned detailed plans so many times. I have barely any support from anyone and feel lonely in this struggle.

I finally got the courage to speak to the NHS GP so I could access help and see what I could do about this. I had an appointment with a mental health nurse after waiting months and explained what’s been going on. The nurse kept trying to downplay everything ‘so just a little depressed? You haven’t actually killed your self?’

In the end i just get a letter in the post saying he spoke to a psychiatrist and this was his recommendation:

1) stay off meds and ‘apply therapeutic methods you learnt in the past’

2) if u feel worse take a low dose of anti depressants.

What the actual fuck. ANTI DEPRESSANTS triggered my first manic episode. You are not meant to take them alone. I’m completely unmedicated and have been of high risk for so long. Without any access to healthcare as a person with a serious diagnosis, and this is  the only medical advice I’m receiving.

It makes me feel what’s the point. Like I keep hitting brick walls. As if it’s not bad enough to deal with this condition sometimes. It’s like they want you dead to get rid of you sometimes. The anger in me is not even normal right now, I’m just so so angry and I have every right to be. What do I even do.",4.591021191646192,6.418050764127762,5.374243703931207,79.18541960995087,70.84275184275185,8.52730343980344,29.42636670761671,9.103633062298675,2.6079632063882072,1699,68,308,35,32,552,220,407,0.205,0.743,0.052000000000000005,-0.9963,0,3,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,6,3,5,19,21,3,3,26,0,28,10,0,5,3,59,64,32,4,6,10,0,5,2,0,0,9,3,1,1,16,23,0,3,7,0,2,4,7,15,0,2,18,9,36,4,45,41,3,55,0,6,1,1,22,24,1,6,26,198,52,1,0.0,0.0,0.1753725724945703,0.0,0.0,0.08780603509297588,0.0,0.0,0.17995518205409206,0.0930634962321966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12221003287627807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08911279572197177,0.06282925551319206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15005165771267115,0.05477525373668537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09421208307913677,0.0,0.0,0.14348506855613435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926373708303672,0.2321779729976343,0.09120173234346704,0.0,0.0,0.1029825166286687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15917111332176273,0.09284504792462384,0.0,0.11869779971106274,0.0,0.075707375985791,0.0,0.08075658741031448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271689288274797,0.0,0.0,0.098432622529297,0.0,0.15286257301845962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08307022715363907,0.09389188008088606,0.0,0.10213422894552462,0.0,0.07186588133674301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19102499944464435,0.0,0.0,0.1204568798788521,0.0949375723779711,0.0901326807421172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986795209904822,0.09941211505990707,0.0,0.0,0.07324445928743442,0.0,0.09514430426898776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779799746254129,0.09005910452431824,0.07934430614482625,0.07951954388775412,0.0,0.0,0.09808820602672308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995887111235855,0.18219932916498235,0.0,0.0,0.1996190456132561,0.0905202520822721,0.09055349897735712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151660956990717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693023223587807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803959305832013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06833937506128783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17155503214874154,0.06229468879884401,0.07845860729873705,0.09388017257320053,0.0,0.08494276266082422,0.0,0.08605700550092024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05756391803350293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15347270224832102,0.0,0.0714569283601461,0.0,0.0,0.07160342856155834,0.0,0.09373918264756224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17773934187551446,0.0,0.12720077703075272,0.09577431323643072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09393677834297172,0.0,0.09828764678060717,0.1019672822348473,0.0,0.0,0.13512073824877105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479126398772,0.10327600882257357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06100618107615442,0.09773729350427847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052999271248746885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329721476457852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661777214529442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157072353552166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05786418078263907
bipolarreddit,warfaringstranger83,2019/06/05,"Going through a hard time Hey guys just a vent post. I’m going through a lot right now. I’m selling my home, packing belongings, selling basically everything I have, moving in with my parents at 36, filing for bankruptcy, being sued by a creditor, don’t have insurance, running out of medications, etc. 

I’m finding it really hard just to get through the days. I’m not eating, sleeping a few hours a night, and afraid I’m going to go downhill fast. 

What’s the point of it all?",4.154147465437789,5.6180488387096785,5.578525345622122,78.73064516129034,71.36559139784946,8.755145929339479,32.640552995391715,9.23628265651192,3.059919815668204,374,18,70,8,7,126,66,93,0.049,0.951,0.0,-0.2263,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,8,0,4,3,1,0,1,9,14,1,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,3,1,0,1,0,2,6,2,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,13,13,4,18,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,6,40,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12839458352497565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037156056752516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22203452505997787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17892647280540375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18196182419217816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401469073094577,0.0,0.4525827037507586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971273361163112,0.0,0.0,0.3566855240329462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997003980336937,0.0,0.19606049819086854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16925656701644412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20055911154646308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21159787279087133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18682957360552216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22106244739523628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882014755777884,0.0,0.1906702220617637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12754016910425495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17001912887727308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19923068294704346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608917518317445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,starggg,2019/09/15,"Always worried that I'm becoming hypomanic/manic So I started a new medication for depression (Vraylar) about a week ago, as an add-on to my mood stabilizer (Lamictal). And since I started it, I think I've been feeling a little better, but I'm also worried that I'm becoming hypomanic, even if I'm not. Like today, I was actually productive for once and cleaned up my apartment, painted my nails, did some filing, etc. Definitely things I haven't been doing because I've been depressed. But in the back of my mind, I'm concerned that this sudden productivity is bipolar-related, rather than the depression lifting (or even restlessness related to the medication, which happened when I took Abilify in May this year). Does this happen to anyone else?",9.029065126050419,8.573606213235298,9.860672268907566,58.97088235294121,60.397058823529406,13.065546218487395,43.693277310924366,12.28987398476788,5.845515966386556,599,33,93,18,7,206,92,136,0.162,0.789,0.049,-0.9443,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,1,8,7,0,1,7,0,9,2,0,0,0,13,21,10,0,2,6,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,9,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,6,1,10,2,12,14,2,16,0,3,0,0,0,5,0,4,11,63,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.14548669850328735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13215598748818547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11922424030082683,0.12405172390108744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10424458994939803,0.15275650699822751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11463814297336372,0.0,0.09088160950683367,0.3293081553765283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318546949215334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3852233707486618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13046640397829734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245424524783284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16627060586715026,0.1969401572198713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07538250021088458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26367300133834376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283602335490978,0.14942361397830548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30037747489945343,0.0,0.0,0.1505346380893408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14398845346679914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587720172875578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233257073433778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21104806565838524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904629657123347,0.09552846521748967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141316356554792,0.0,0.16564033718536722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958801710637736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3028086982836543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960066731520879
bipolarreddit,_thane_krios_,2019/09/15,"Is it just me, or is this just an *awful* time of year for hypomanic/manic episodes? Maybe it's just a unique thing that my body/brain likes to do, but August - October are extremely consistently hypomanic times of year for me. Most of my piercings, almost all of my tattoos, and most of my hypomanic anxiety attacks and major episodes have managed to fall within these three months. Hell, I was *diagnosed* in September years back. I've always assumed it was the changing of the seasons messing with my brain chemistry.

I'm doing alright so far this year, only two ear piercings and maybe a few trips to the store I probably couldn't justify, better than I've been in the past. But now that I've noticed this pattern, I wonder if this is just a me thing or if others experience this too.",5.663599999999999,6.6868908266666685,6.3080000000000025,76.55400000000003,67.4,9.2,33.0,9.3871,3.0522,624,27,113,12,10,204,94,150,0.10300000000000001,0.868,0.028999999999999998,-0.9187,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,8,6,2,0,8,2,11,3,2,0,1,21,13,10,0,3,10,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,14,4,0,0,2,0,1,2,1,3,0,2,3,1,11,3,16,9,5,18,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,9,13,83,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722610007678942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14314091746643295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13160080258102178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19570646681932005,0.0,0.1322787660326222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521446168565454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3840798544191462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18198261123572515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746046043900964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16827620618384148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404409773411405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3456501113352116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13731095544038086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19585480007961006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308349001738816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16422000848982216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854750732936116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22857526388207636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20062159700220494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16804617220881676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18655682001725046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4431210738787436
bipolarreddit,Elkins95,2019/09/15,"ECT tips? Sorry if this question has been asked a million times already, but what kind of tips would you give to someone who's about to go to ECT?

I start my 12 to 24 session treatment on Wednesday and would like to know what helped you guys with the nausea and amnesia they warned me about.",6.995459770114943,6.086846706896554,5.987931034482759,86.5668390804598,64.6896551724138,8.422988505747126,33.12643678160919,6.42735559955562,1.7739126436781607,231,8,48,1,3,69,47,58,0.07,0.875,0.055,0.2047,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,9,9,4,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,6,2,10,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,9,1,0,2,4,31,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3124340137542886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646824156079785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715980258959403,0.1609057080990801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803369491640875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18977183019270089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29482973745161245,0.15559736649785855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383199256238227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3171633099434469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23988976957888855,0.0,0.0,0.316933772533724,0.2003963931602513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16509169069592872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4022458685322814,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Bscott36,2019/09/15,"I need opinions from the people that have lived it. My wife was recently diagnosed with bipolar type 2, the med change was rough and the psych doctor she has was useless during the transition (she had a very suicidal night and it was written off by the nurse staff) monday of this week she told me she wanted to get off of all her meds. She's been medicated since 2010 after she had a very traumatic sexual assault that seemed to start this whole ball running with depression leading to other ailments. I supported her experiment that she wants to do with her meds and it will be stopped if either of us notice any serious changes. We have very strong communication and I feel if an alert happens we can work it through with minimal strife. My question is  really a request, if anyone can offer and advice or help during this transition I would be greatly appreciated. 
P.S. I apologize for any triggers or insensitivity. It's not my intention I'm just bad at writing.",6.427666666666667,7.640733322222225,6.911111111111115,72.23000000000003,65.77777777777777,10.222222222222225,33.888888888888886,10.317481424215053,3.691055555555556,778,34,134,19,12,254,120,180,0.145,0.774,0.081,-0.93,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,3,0,0,3,1,8,1,0,9,0,18,4,0,3,1,33,30,10,1,7,8,1,2,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,12,11,0,1,3,1,0,2,1,5,0,0,9,2,22,3,19,17,3,12,0,2,0,0,21,3,0,8,7,95,34,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355560256028001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18866933608782246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09699656931249424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582578767566172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29349570076954257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947972679686295,0.14079834434478106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419862663655172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356952258279035,0.0,0.0,0.07014123140782137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07247571358086402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15293979414711045,0.0,0.0,0.12267004245766007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929813985769944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12249270547082115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4622614680637435,0.13974626682372535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028594615339582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13017975220533215,0.0,0.0,0.15793416032476232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617129871304353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553986600956791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886787723058492,0.0,0.13696971644485373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126285894554378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147509959620058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818705382619047,0.0,0.0,0.11597651398147615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15173766529058075,0.15741833128712396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325533418993651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16686363020266215,0.0,0.0,0.3433767163181317,0.16364183994226614,0.0,0.11127318353722836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548764368330814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009901452305862,0.0,0.0,0.09854303294111326,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,starboy905,2019/09/15,"I miss being manic It might sound weird but I’ve been in such a depressive state for the last couple weeks and i’m dealing with some really dark thoughts. I can barely get out of bed and function, let alone do work or talk to people. 

Although the consequences of mania are always bad, part of me wants to feel like that right now. Mania makes me feel so alive and in the moment and right now I feel like i’m sleepwalking through life.  Is that bad to think? I’m not really sure but it’s just been weighing on my mind a lot lately.",1.5867472894078392,3.7617431376146833,2.6727105921601333,93.54974979149291,80.92660550458716,5.7984987489574635,18.16597164303586,6.980632752743323,0.04033211009174354,418,9,90,5,11,133,77,109,0.172,0.736,0.091,-0.8302,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,5,8,0,0,5,0,9,2,0,1,1,23,21,9,0,1,5,0,3,2,0,1,1,1,1,0,4,6,1,0,5,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,3,4,6,3,13,15,3,13,0,2,0,0,2,6,0,4,8,54,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18828980290619288,0.0,0.0,0.15127202785345684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035905397963308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20115806147063967,0.0,0.0,0.18742764888047705,0.15658393299491336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757703797971369,0.2597556793924953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09498291118792976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481911314484921,0.2050781344923355,0.0,0.0,0.18590265038797074,0.12841060115319974,0.17763643433869866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15455971997726498,0.0,0.0,0.12135280272643086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928608971969096,0.1835660098050535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19687150693052155,0.0,0.12603711606505272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329312613399691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105121344863009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17134419461985892,0.0,0.0,0.1461238223205414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164899946307913,0.0,0.14432876313703308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723025398379517,0.0,0.1458288630400646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323524463762657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ana30671,2019/09/15,"Seeing pdoc on Wed and thinking of asking him about re-trying lamotrigine... Had a few questions regarding dosage and weight I tried 200mg lamotrigine a few years ago but found it wasn't very effective... Wasn't bad though, just didn't seem to have any effect. My pdoc at the time refused to let me go above 200mg though.

I've been taking antipsychotics since diagnosis (2015) with a shorter trial with lithium and then lamotrigine. I've been on lamotrigine with Latuda as well without much success. But I've struggled so much with my weight with aps. My lowest weight before meds was 140lbs and I've been hovering between 155-160 for a long time now. I track my calories and had been before meds so I know my deficit is a deficit. But I'm still not losing weight. My only options seem to be either try a mood stabilizer or try metformin to see if it benefits my metabolism. But I'm kind of interested in seeing if lamotrigine can be of benefit to me.

Has anyone found that they needed to go above 200mg to see results?

What about weight management, is it better on this than aps?

Im fairly stable mood wise, would this be a good time to try lamotrigine since it's listed as more of a maintenance drug?",3.975019036954088,5.801829144680853,5.000492721164616,81.24105263157895,72.44680851063829,8.011198208286675,26.41097424412094,8.6894789155246,1.936106382978723,959,33,184,18,19,314,133,235,0.086,0.772,0.14300000000000002,0.9338,1,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,5,10,14,0,1,9,0,20,6,0,3,0,35,37,19,0,4,11,0,5,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,10,5,1,9,0,0,2,5,3,1,0,12,9,14,9,30,20,6,16,0,1,4,0,6,5,0,7,9,109,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528868808619873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06542941946713814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727568297019251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994792710814388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08033540801155861,0.0,0.0,0.16374355693873616,0.0,0.0,0.0850942447754696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157871752756716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21098930506254315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10936227002564848,0.08070047857930604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392858368569116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019299420664438,0.052877183200177216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983862361413955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514714333044404,0.0,0.10763984273368972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21374608878932308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14145801856695506,0.07134211625928011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317575377029481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077826882403247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3066832175641349,0.17518083094827813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15917989016667888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0768373294717412,0.0,0.0,0.10058468570769698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723416175702895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06165061173649914,0.1890612671459003,0.0,0.1683110152229169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32661794762471524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07938735452226868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5858190323869386,0.0865087343344725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927477133197554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834829200720623,0.0,0.0,0.061959229818430085
bipolarreddit,Dalves8,2019/09/15,"Starting to spiral So I'm starting to spiral. I recognize the signs. I'm isolating myself, telling myself people don't like me, Not wanting to do anything. How do I pull up on this metaphorical tailspin before I crash and burn?",2.805348837209305,5.64562581395349,4.2291162790697685,80.05948837209301,81.55813953488372,6.2306976744186064,29.53023255813953,7.554174236665415,2.422222325581396,182,9,29,3,5,60,31,43,0.121,0.879,0.0,-0.5873,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,5,8,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,5,8,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,20,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35961643888050704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3718575781337818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134977136004686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3029630290526893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6186262978459203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3819601013700536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577558386551155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,natashaclark133,2019/09/15,help!!!!! Zypreza advice It seems like we all want a civilian perspective on this drug not just a doctors. A new doctor prescribed me zyprexa and. I am about to start taking this drug for ‘mixed bipolar disorder’ . Before I was taking adderall 20mg twice a day and diazepam at night and smoking  ALOT of weed. So does anyone have any opinions on what the future may be ? I am hoping this drug helps me regain my relationships back and my sociability.. I just hope it does not cause any sexual issues. I also do not want any one to be aware of me on a drug I just want to feel normal and like my true blue self. If this has helped you or not let me know. Really need some out side advice,2.661078431372548,4.589147264705887,3.753529411764706,88.33754901960786,76.35294117647058,6.298039215686276,21.62745098039216,7.1686216300943375,0.5879480392156862,532,14,109,6,12,172,91,136,0.0,0.845,0.155,0.9529,0,0,4,0,0,0,15.0,1,1,0,0,7,5,0,0,7,0,10,7,0,1,2,33,22,9,0,8,9,0,1,2,0,1,7,0,0,1,7,7,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,2,15,5,12,17,3,12,0,0,1,0,7,6,0,9,8,72,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23916798439657305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09786370035649566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496587552761212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556784500243025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09409926072972068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041325980034142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257134218857998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789221197721458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025300712009697,0.250513165959435,0.2141833746779272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5676672453075801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06187676595084431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460772981334897,0.0,0.0,0.24309310986549926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772830252791004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06725441372691167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12513731310984175,0.0,0.11957304566216102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073993569004968,0.0,0.11819108957469557,0.0,0.11484118395232552,0.11990207732621655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292485438784343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839692474135973,0.0,0.0,0.13138556606692578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140612423526547,0.1276644102484542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661805940761781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18402239995756686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165408482280516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,KelVarnsenStudios,2019/09/15,"Daniel Johnston, what to think Daniel Johnston died aged 58. He was open about suffering from bipolar and schizophrenia. Whenever I listen to his music I can only listen at one song per session, they are just too powerful.",6.687692307692307,8.910259820512824,5.818461538461541,76.50153846153849,66.17948717948718,8.276923076923078,33.51282051282051,8.841846274778883,3.183728205128205,179,8,27,3,3,54,34,39,0.154,0.782,0.064,-0.5994,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,4,6,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,4,0,5,5,0,3,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,17,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.653093334726508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4264164434230907,0.4785958295848475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4032172427094395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ArilynMoon,2019/09/15,"Not really sure... My apartment is trashed...like stuff, including garbage (no rotting food or anything) everywhere. I don't have the motivation to clean it up. 

I haven't talked to my psych in forever, and I haven't been able to make an appointment with him either. I can't afford my therapist anymore, so I don't have that going for me anymore.

 Going to work is just getting harder and harder every day. I go and I try and look busy but I can't actually be productive. I'm also have constant anxiety that I'm going to be found out and get fired or something. 

I'm trying to hold it together, mostly for my two cats, but damn...it's so hard. Why is it so hard all the time?",1.81974171813588,3.8380823722627753,4.023649635036495,84.9851768669287,79.2919708029197,7.4270634475014035,25.13700168444694,8.384062270229773,1.780169455362156,523,20,107,11,13,180,84,137,0.10400000000000001,0.882,0.015,-0.8811,1,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,3,0,15,1,0,2,2,21,27,13,0,0,7,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,7,1,1,2,0,0,4,8,0,0,1,2,4,14,1,12,23,3,11,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,3,3,70,20,3,0.17395940905147214,0.0,0.1697592892877972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13911527656865888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13307847177653506,0.0,0.3450419789828641,0.0,0.0,0.14315377134710375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18798832097237214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121894275353562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14656830493365589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21035240793758264,0.1907375130590287,0.0,0.0,0.18177322263913065,0.0,0.3954605642404255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3116669227999068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608209080651685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161192563588069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144285192362133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133922451975596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991419039399643,0.0,0.0,0.1639546843059706,0.0,0.0,0.13982198353027478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20198028182904046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143713036242348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23621403950087536,0.0,0.16993306535252695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15697130901375672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664452163603404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,anonemotedumpacc,2019/09/15,"Does anyone else have the most awful time choosing words wisely during conversation? I feel like every time I have a conversation or try to, I’ll have em in the first half, but by the second I imagine the -2 social points from sims. It’s not just imaginary. After I get that feeling, I notice the people from those situations liking me less.

I’ll say dumb things or try to prove theories (which may or may not be correct, I have a better time explaining myself when I’m not manic, but when I am manic my reasoning even behind a logical thesis is “because *insert reason that is universally logical/literally another way to say because I said so.”

Speaking even though I feel people glaring at me and my gut is telling me to stop and continuing on until I’ve ruined the atmosphere.
Telling a joke that is insensitive/being annoying/rambling/etc

It feels awful because it does numbers on my reputation. It gets in the way of dating and making friends.",5.999785847299813,7.147573368715082,7.235321229050277,69.7571531657356,66.70949720670392,9.765549348230913,32.235102420856606,9.928628108626363,3.4194577281191805,759,31,125,17,12,258,111,179,0.096,0.795,0.10800000000000001,0.0412,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,2,7,8,1,0,11,2,12,1,1,3,2,30,22,13,0,0,9,0,4,2,1,2,0,4,0,0,10,3,0,1,11,1,0,0,3,2,0,3,1,8,16,6,16,18,2,19,0,1,0,0,11,6,1,6,13,88,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14933915955811794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958295648404407,0.14592550650775435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604526345907843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12595838645402807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492643548467529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11897313454430372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158835278806137,0.1881333421322599,0.0,0.1199944877069443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880461131576377,0.10174444841756157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114186960038108,0.0,0.0,0.11003287580316792,0.0,0.14881651759086598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915785073822307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09506605596614796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16214543180692642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974713605364884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346323678132914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928617279645521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354734639144337,0.2265152476899167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16008537368427847,0.0,0.14517864385935064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190689962217127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489616674484789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09461712158057008,0.0,0.13992633822350134,0.0,0.2491376938106326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933868490320982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22609178262029786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,peachspresso,2019/09/15,"Curious to know what you guys think of this band/song? So I was a teenage girl when my bipolar symptoms got worse and when I was 18 properly diagnosed or at least aware I was bipolar.
I also started listening to sick puppies around that time and got as obsessed with the lead singer as you would expect a teenage girl to.
But idk if it was only cognitive dissonance or if the songs actually are relatable to bipolar disorder.
In particular the songs
My World, Pitiful, Issues, The Pretender, White Balloons, Don’t Walk Away, Master of the Universe.

But if you only listen to one of these Master of the Universe.",6.833646616541357,7.500744043859651,6.9087969924812045,74.53657894736844,64.70175438596492,10.023057644110276,37.338345864661655,9.957137785484203,3.866392481203008,487,24,84,10,7,156,76,114,0.132,0.848,0.02,-0.9022,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,3,0,3,5,2,0,1,8,0,7,6,0,1,0,16,14,15,0,5,7,0,0,0,0,1,6,4,0,3,5,4,0,0,2,3,0,2,1,2,0,1,6,5,9,0,16,7,1,11,0,1,1,0,8,5,0,5,4,60,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.2353739051182144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19288550302572108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147168555325116,0.0,0.0,0.2266129315595237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24481032113379786,0.0,0.0,0.2764331588799803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858152479462573,0.0,0.0,0.2388233833882232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517474589042773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13255580337918707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16344162537966195,0.3668830388403328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17072078716714098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506964896310102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15454957834294386,0.0,0.0,0.1406441650265866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24580079412045386,0.17133973877375766,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BushOfEden,2019/03/14,"Bipolar women who still have PMS, does it make regular PMS turn into PMDD? [PMS EXTREME] I have PCOS and Bipolar 1. My hormones have always been tied to my bipolar diagnosis/symptoms.

​

Lately I'm on a much better treatment for PCOS, but my PMS symptoms are INSANE now especially if I'm put in a difficult situation. Mixed episodes are becoming more common the week before my period.

​

I tried going back on a low dose SSRI to combat PMDD and I got awful side effects. My lithium level is great, it's just now that my hormones are more balanced in the right direction, my PMDD is rearing its ugly head.",4.468706896551723,6.739311905172412,5.616758620689655,75.45410344827587,72.1896551724138,7.398620689655173,31.427586206896553,8.238735603445708,2.743657931034482,495,23,79,8,10,164,79,116,0.17300000000000001,0.767,0.06,-0.9382,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,5,1,9,10,1,2,0,8,15,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,9,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,10,2,8,13,3,19,0,1,0,0,2,9,0,1,8,49,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367505614175398,0.3561416134788822,0.3994012080175808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12637333781811522,0.0,0.0,0.1815092677108694,0.13984789979553022,0.0,0.0,0.1453523013548388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438218948443272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09340266002454566,0.0,0.13144397429074198,0.1811940644000796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16866828944395168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18539151239154714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970345369143633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12081456623803125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652149638080906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14035215009841595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847338484821874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312483905127405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3416406491267338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115813894965838,0.1787632469770434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318299171009271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3994012080175808,0.0
bipolarreddit,summfree,2019/03/14,"A big move has me stuck in a mixed episode, not sure how to cope. Hi, r/BipolarReddit

I just moved back home to be with my family for the next 6 months and I'm trying to figure out how to cope until getting to my new pdoc. 

Surprisingly I have been stabilized on only 12.5 mg of Lamictal (extremely rare-- my body is intensely sensitive to meds, substances, etc.) for the last couple of months. My day to day routine was rather consistent though, so there wasn't that much to throw me off. It's helped more so with my co-morbid BPD mood swings.

But after an 11 hr stressful care ride, change of environment, change of sleep schedule, and moving away from my boyfriend? I'm lost. I'm waking up in a deep depression, don't want to shower, don't want to eat. Then when my loud and boisterous family gets me out of the house I start feeding off of their energy and won't stop talking, become obnoxious at restaurants, speed home, racing thoughts and sweating like crazy, stay up all night, then repeat the next day. Luckily I haven't been doing anything too extreme (yet) but I don't know what to do in the meantime, even right now I feel panicked and sweaty and confused yet worn out and can't find the will to do anything. Not to mention I've been feeling intensely lonely even though I am near my family. 

I start work on Monday, which I'm hoping can add in some needed structure to my day, but at the same time I'm nervous to be adding another facet of change to my life and sending me down more of a spiral. 

I want to get out and distract myself during this weird state but I really can't find the footing and I'm afraid if I stay around my family I'll get worse. 

I don't see my new doctor for another couple of weeks, what can I do in the meantime? ",4.647372776679845,5.267512440340912,5.262786561264825,84.58972332015813,69.48295454545455,8.621739130434783,27.23616600790514,8.716276077567194,1.8025233201581023,1377,42,284,22,23,444,197,352,0.122,0.8320000000000001,0.046,-0.9721,1,2,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,1,2,18,15,0,5,14,0,26,9,5,2,2,48,52,26,0,7,9,0,2,1,0,2,2,1,3,0,6,19,2,1,7,0,0,6,11,9,0,0,9,4,31,5,55,39,7,63,0,3,1,0,6,24,0,4,31,176,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892506637976584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14852095500548246,0.0803334313060687,0.0,0.0,0.08478418857874609,0.06938959386447048,0.0,0.0,0.09966385779270946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023716942842878,0.113655110384519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200649511163303,0.0,0.2863883568643643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996994256302081,0.0,0.23279136500942185,0.0,0.07772425637181635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09236526785027953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233885226481936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006423299739052,0.11920637556268725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402839256073589,0.0,0.09125690522284564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16495688630456046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18858834361637694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060486496366830525,0.0,0.18103773140143933,0.08962946166637836,0.0,0.10412575057658993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04959397574341943,0.07355828450870691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373973557819994,0.04408708958653135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850847744738793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023716942842878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14405866817355512,0.2877350213365608,0.06633736062455603,0.06691239905598996,0.0,0.17431022603979002,0.19194419840516644,0.08468486416971302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863218382401033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05781055797719181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706513780107048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191022257752637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09030595637622787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12774578497246,0.19236934097703146,0.0,0.07544533744315922,0.1033705149673336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505087243458709,0.0,0.0,0.07253212517302426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17732222727065566,0.07164110374117584,0.05262012775728229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06126756983458709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15967906014448274,0.0,0.07238571493605718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569636665033905,0.0,0.09196306997175983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,suzy_sweetheart86,2019/03/14,"Experiences on Zyprexa? I've been on Zyprexa since the summer time and was wondering if anyone would like to share their experiences with it. I am not sure if I like it and am considering asking for a switch.

PROS: full night sleep every night, no mania symptoms

CONS: gained 40 lbs, seems to completely cancel out the effects of my ADHD medicine (vyvanse), bit more prone to depressive episodes 

Anyone else on this drug?",4.8217293233082685,7.469182526315793,4.481127819548874,82.27289473684213,72.42105263157895,7.50075187969925,27.962406015037594,8.418075326091056,2.1479458646616543,336,13,59,6,7,102,60,76,0.11199999999999999,0.767,0.122,0.2123,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,2,0,5,0,0,3,0,5,3,1,1,1,12,8,4,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,4,4,10,5,3,9,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,4,6,33,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360660740515128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27469147771798896,0.20126181444403946,0.0,0.0,0.18363194488826828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21444649380748945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20594909257252172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16918156458418326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277919855016955,0.0,0.1640888526037701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16549751237559882,0.0,0.0,0.3842849532322759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19192780072494944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36866529152220384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17881899966132014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16248575013443334,0.0,0.1965680175557297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18512933206976095,0.20416199144152145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453767405647018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130157925511136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13953550898382186,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sasa_yuri,2019/03/14,"Obligatory “just got diagnosed” post. Hey y’all, I’m a 20 year old college student and the title explains it all.

My mother is diagnosed with bipolar (but in denial) and I just remembered yesterday it runs in my dad’s family too, so genetically speaking I probably never stood a chance, lmao. I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation and self harm, and was told i’m Bipolar 1 with mixed features. Im on Depakote & Seroquel, and am doing tons better. 

I probably won’t post much, but I just wanted to say hello :)",5.164035346097201,6.613924814432992,6.723564064801178,71.53907216494845,68.89690721649485,10.078939617083948,34.47569955817379,10.290406445055957,3.98438851251841,405,20,69,11,7,139,71,97,0.091,0.8440000000000001,0.064,-0.1263,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,1,5,2,0,0,3,0,6,4,0,0,2,17,13,8,1,1,5,2,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,1,2,7,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,5,2,8,1,7,7,3,10,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,0,4,42,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215824598315899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761692588954351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4043516542440272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18778062007271284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15931214931740578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21516169059694645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146429140780982,0.0,0.15362925664170846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090186411208092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3815420128483672,0.0,0.4295256300329149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22564586218250846,0.0,0.0,0.15840558313524036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078008421390468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178838687943957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19033662406332524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117488683890629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12827320610983747
bipolarreddit,beth8666,2019/03/14,"I have to stop reading bpd/lovedones I'm not saying all groups are like that but there is one in particular that is almost a hate group, the reason I read it is to see if I can identify things that I might do wrong and oh boy we are monsters to them I wish I could tell them that we aren't trying to hurt anyone but who I am to upset them even more I understand they want to vent and they have every right but I do need to stop reading cause it just makes me want to keep my head down and not engage. I just need to tell myself that I'm medicated now and try to be self aware of other's feelings as much as I can.",2.81666666666667,3.1328475555555566,4.2451851851851865,91.34333333333336,73.44444444444444,7.1851851851851825,21.66666666666667,6.937597516519254,0.2612222222222225,480,9,116,4,9,160,84,135,0.138,0.7709999999999999,0.091,-0.8156,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,2,0,5,0,5,6,1,1,2,0,16,2,1,3,1,31,29,10,0,7,8,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,2,10,6,0,3,3,3,0,0,3,4,0,1,0,3,21,2,15,26,3,6,0,1,1,0,15,3,0,3,4,83,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15371529841438905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733581161848632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19333695932073575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576941918902628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122563017521138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139006554550342,0.0,0.1293364465417637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07761785859480698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15155659082563255,0.15754268600266924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16433264500191058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13644426296055262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499586967205883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246725579120454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15464236597743228,0.0,0.16284689303589325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284546334189058,0.2276473047375241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040204594238779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4606462586977391,0.0,0.0,0.15783098018436634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109432001503676,0.0,0.12207509604645707,0.0,0.0,0.12232537305344075,0.0,0.16014150044825892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566778051042053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683441382035675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198337041221232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084426404886648,0.0,0.0,0.15980642106863202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810850613526086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17652571760591695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16783603799279598,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,comeonrichie,2019/03/14,"Extremely lonely I just went on a couple dates and hooked up with a guy who I knew wasn’t compatible with me. He called me cute and gave me other compliments that I haven’t heard in years. In the end I had to turn him down though, just because I wasn’t getting the right vibes. But now I feel extremely sad about it. I feel like I lost something because he really seemed to like me. Now I feel I know what I’m missing. And it hurts. A lot. I’m going to continue to date and hopefully find someone. I’m not meeting people any other way. I know I deserve happiness but it’s so hard to find. I’m putting in the effort but I have yet to see a positive outcome. I just wish I didn’t feel so intensely lonely. Just needed to get this off my chest.",0.8462500000000013,2.8682230636942703,2.968085191082803,91.2600258757962,82.69426751592357,6.472770700636943,21.914410828025478,7.645422480735847,0.8809366242038221,579,19,129,10,16,196,91,157,0.10300000000000001,0.763,0.134,0.6776,0,4,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,11,12,0,0,7,0,6,1,1,0,0,28,31,10,0,3,8,0,5,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,9,6,0,0,10,0,0,3,5,6,0,0,9,7,21,6,17,22,1,20,0,6,1,0,9,8,0,3,10,79,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525452937134205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20663102503241165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17306150909561996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875301674849284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15011199427451638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3427836142560797,0.12107898064215993,0.0,0.0,0.3098095291848164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17709617117063287,0.0,0.09632132659467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16781522020561462,0.0,0.18041823950000974,0.15182384376265878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16833526591112397,0.0,0.0,0.18143549375692572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862872974833449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16560206456266616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18501116080926305,0.14408873281964205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566979962199792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11749845525552792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17037763681573578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10857541112747213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14473790451300836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350563331996094,0.1542913294222718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436027417256079,0.13047660779908174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665165879868031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184349279674417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13452804058107912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571128173307056,0.0,0.0,0.19489755510387372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914175811265732
bipolarreddit,ehhhohkay,2019/03/14,Im finally coming out of my shame cocoon and I’m really nervous to see me friends I’ve been isolating for months and I finally feel okay enough to see them. I’m still just a ball of anxiety but I wanna try cause I miss them and I feel if I go much longer they’ll stop asking me to hang...anyone have any healthy coping skills for me? I’ve been using my “unhealthy but all I can do at the moment” coping skills for the past few months and I gotta cut the crap...,-0.6278461538461535,1.5203132000000041,1.6880000000000024,96.66130769230772,92.0,5.0769230769230775,15.692307692307693,6.67199483983844,-0.3305461538461532,360,8,84,5,13,121,65,100,0.174,0.754,0.07200000000000001,-0.84,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,3,2,2,7,2,2,4,1,6,1,1,2,1,17,18,7,0,2,4,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,1,2,1,0,2,0,5,0,0,2,4,15,2,11,14,4,12,0,1,2,0,5,2,1,1,8,48,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14279680251292906,0.0,0.1606377273058352,0.0,0.0,0.1468261906227364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963073566648407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21571213865578465,0.0,0.18088323311988908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21697033640794347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21234915597930695,0.0,0.0,0.4600559685431216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16223366495482994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11933914898222167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22681951881703266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3352155820258878,0.0,0.15436292195226514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20045416459910145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13452158127839126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33466125184352746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676940595156561,0.1755566188608614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256583336359746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813593677920006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,glakewoo96,2019/10/02,"FIFTH APPOINTMENT TODAY AND A DIFFERENT DIAGNOSIS I know, that no one here can diagnose me but I'm just frustrated at this point and I was just hoping for support.

Two months ago I decided to go to medical because I felt like I had ADHD. I explained my symptoms and the doctor said I could have bipolar disorder... After that he refered me to mental health. Of course I freaked out began researching being my appointment was an entire month away. My boyfriend had just made chief and was never home (by the way I'm in the navy). I was already in a depressive state that I feel like I've been in since December. And it sent me deeper. Obsessively researching bipolar every chance I got always talking about the subject. Unable to get out of bed or clean or anything. The whole reason I felt different was because last year on deployment I got max 3 hours of sleep a night the almost the whole six months. Sometimes staying up for days,  caffine was involved so I felt this normal just so focussed on work. Went through a divorce and then here I am now began feeling better last week after my fourth appointment and that doctor diagnosing me with bipolar. Actually hearing me. 

Today, I was prescribed a medication from a different doctor for severe anxiety. I don't know if I have just created the whole thing in my head or what I dont nessecarily want to have bipolar I just want to know if that is what I have or if he is right. I mean I do fear everything, I get sudden boosts of confidence to do the things I fear but then I reclude again. Idk... help.... somebody....",3.6401474049300115,5.912101284280936,4.751631363805277,80.71989842685495,74.61872909698997,7.907890499194846,29.1342747429704,8.735056554316923,2.5518360213055864,1240,54,224,26,27,406,165,299,0.10099999999999999,0.784,0.11599999999999999,0.7639,3,0,0,0,1,0,36.0,0,0,0,2,13,11,1,3,16,0,24,15,2,2,1,46,52,20,0,8,15,0,5,2,0,0,13,2,3,0,12,10,0,0,13,0,0,3,4,6,0,3,21,7,36,5,32,29,3,42,0,1,0,0,10,13,0,9,25,158,48,6,0.0,0.0,0.08856456799782471,0.0,0.10907083369507077,0.0,0.08044953979042015,0.0,0.09087882290193357,0.0,0.10015128081868573,0.0,0.07551609494002634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06942793771195854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468428955968172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526806051932527,0.0,0.0,0.11064778523017832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026612889250981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07246112051646927,0.0,0.0,0.05852998221939607,0.0,0.07816783656514185,0.18423045087971154,0.0,0.2844614802385074,0.10401400819765276,0.2786772173313805,0.0,0.0,0.10636512034020056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07646567479801394,0.0,0.08156546004016117,0.0,0.0,0.2042510106441768,0.09177771761206156,0.06483596083347691,0.2614193979221364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483231818504223,0.0,0.051578611955591686,0.0,0.14517140608332327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314163267038417,0.09646917024680944,0.1022883812363474,0.0,0.06083169892011876,0.0,0.0910354660237263,0.09014098607059318,0.08937618050535008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14963104073902478,0.14795617815839998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867739813287878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587533125683436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988596709235568,0.0,0.1828538386974698,0.09146049925075253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173212383476543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06999646699191152,0.0,0.0,0.08516816925584271,0.0889214135939737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061498478080405976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579356478140925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331207657643883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750495633803947,0.08632954757672645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252822009125563,0.0,0.07507413465462355,0.0,0.09082134160418276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975980568403866,0.0,0.0,0.09673360613257184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029886050319655,0.0,0.09433002478159333,0.0,0.07294607334838726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12058824013272268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17205177102866104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865522814470515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10706024312872817,0.0720377287937138,0.07279882753338764,0.0,0.0,0.08413153477890994,0.0,0.3039768250242857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06607130246034068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058443758914708585
bipolarreddit,Caserole,2019/10/02,"Midsommar triggered me during early stages of hypomanic episode. A warning to you all. So I finally found a way to watch Midsommar. I went into this wanting to relax and watch a flick with such high praise. I write this to air my emotions but also to warn people who may be triggered by content involving bipolar painted in a negative way. 

I will only share broad details so not to spoil anything but one character in the very beginning is identified as bipolar and treated as a burden to her sister. Basically, her character is written to be crazy and of course they had to go and tag it bipolar. It feels really unnecessary. Some later actions in the beginning scenes triggered a lot of insecurity in me, feeling low about myself and my BP. The movie does a good job at classifying bipolar people as evil and only within the first 20 minutes. 


For the last 4 months, I have been what I consider stable for the first time in my twenties and probably even in my teenage years. It felt odd at first but I realized this is the kind I’ve been working so hard to have and been graceful to myself. Recently, I slipped back into some anxious-attachment related anxiety with a new partner, have been drinking (I went more or less dry for 9 months), smoking, etc. This is feeding into a recent bout of hypomania. So, my confidence is very low and I’m rapid cycling like a washing machine. 


Take care in the movies you may watch this spooky season. I don’t like the choices directors can make by casting an ominous character as mentally ill if it doesn’t drive any sort of rational reason. Midsommar through me straight into despair and I was not prepared for it. I just want to look out for y’all. Please be well ❤️",4.556602564102565,6.4876164598765484,5.586049382716052,77.20876068376072,71.12962962962962,8.688319088319089,33.757834757834765,9.265573868473778,3.3704210826210828,1359,69,237,30,26,448,190,324,0.13699999999999998,0.727,0.136,-0.0851,1,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,3,1,5,11,17,1,1,20,0,23,8,0,5,1,45,40,24,0,3,8,1,4,2,1,3,6,0,0,1,12,17,2,0,6,2,0,5,5,6,1,4,11,8,28,11,47,23,7,47,1,3,4,0,13,21,0,8,20,169,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10414256988355187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855889798318628,0.0,0.09962337989634128,0.14711956248251798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071658124422581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001366063293871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132775214086643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396261833568855,0.0,0.0,0.12757298622770466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14648796653363713,0.0,0.0,0.14523764754054064,0.0860137755308721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316934756958895,0.0,0.12503844441564996,0.14265742953550173,0.0,0.33231333035710603,0.0,0.1427873003822206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07401106561304091,0.10922831820766067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11665790806253284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13759208780352236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12923030866187302,0.0,0.0,0.13561149135722714,0.0,0.10615247284052756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12724477225670536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10935797078363754,0.0,0.0,0.11071442883765843,0.0,0.0,0.08692760470633701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123829343986607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078920676694925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12577415079143686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824525755423407,0.1980871652465464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805661568168028,0.0,0.0,0.1429502562859243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14040684650578172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834268189716035,0.13389515460272508,0.2571671135743964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09791457699794508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759364729605518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21490200241876434,0.1536226427646121,0.20673643086620508,0.0,0.0,0.11708980823876793,0.24144366451771876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09480688440669087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386198681409675
bipolarreddit,radgal19997,2019/10/02,"Am I a stalker After my first rollercoaster relationship we decided to call it quits and I accepted it and got on with my life. I see him all around campus and sometimes he talks to me. Before talking to me he unfriended me on Facebook so I just got on with my life. However afterwards, a couple of days later, I accidentally like one of his tweets one evening, and he deactivated the account. And I only realised this after two or so months. Then on his birthday weekend I on two occasions get off the bus early from uni to my house and his area is along the way to my place. Then later on campus I'm getting a bus from the gym and realise that I MIGHT see him and understand what I'm doing is not okay so I move away. I've since avoided my impulses to see him.

I mean, it was intentional that I got off the bus earlier than usual and I knew that I have to walk past his area. I think I was hoping to see him on all of those occasions. I was going home but I also was at that bus stop hoping to see him. Another occasion went to the bar with my friend because he sometimes goes there with his friends. Not cool, I know.

What if he saw me? What if I ruined his day?I feel SO GUILTY. I feel like dying. I know what I did isn’t okay, but I just need some help. I’m sick to my stomach. I'd appreciate your input as my friends, therapist and family keep on saying I'm NOT a stalker but I just can't get out of this spiral.

tl;dr am i a creepy stalker",1.6842794279427942,3.4132411023102343,3.8968976897689807,87.11177117711775,78.57095709570956,7.129152915291527,23.763476347634764,8.045849151850463,1.2611245324532452,1126,38,245,20,27,388,150,303,0.08800000000000001,0.8059999999999999,0.106,0.7428,1,1,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,1,0,2,11,13,0,1,11,3,14,5,1,1,2,51,44,24,1,5,12,0,2,2,3,1,3,1,1,0,14,18,1,3,10,3,1,4,5,2,0,5,11,10,51,11,40,32,3,37,0,1,6,0,27,17,0,7,17,169,65,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08737454139301111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114567795885186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972638507674726,0.0,0.0,0.10265261338017123,0.0,0.0,0.06660339316637476,0.0,0.09297153041901288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156585735809713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12089322475746922,0.0,0.14092628820973924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11339379801543945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216467001817595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299984832200118,0.0,0.11048946704739752,0.0780547930847143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09293581824481233,0.0,0.0,0.25324015669389305,0.0,0.17125026478797795,0.0,0.06209452026369519,0.0,0.2621536856549545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07323413752433904,0.0,0.10959588432880232,0.2170380734932945,0.0,0.12607044539833362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09711459559124618,0.0,0.0,0.1200919960033925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15434600585193387,0.10675705077202753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901529736221488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590674329080372,0.0,0.0,0.08720964967629251,0.11612523669930933,0.0,0.08101431110890107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807372081427994,0.0830965437025967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043002676975288,0.0,0.0,0.11415260757125907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11621060635499615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173034898429205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688729981810732,0.0,0.0,0.4353271759790928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903803378734686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161202817055895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913455820680064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17563680983072194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12685835035905346,0.0,0.07000888256696645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134607214809747,0.11374267864564926,0.0,0.0,0.12033357088595095,0.0,0.0,0.08672486600033256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128437142982187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ALog37,2019/10/02,"Lamictal and blood testing Hello! I have been on 300 mg lamictal since at least 2013. 

The last time I saw my doctor, she had me go to the lab and do a test to check the levels of lamictal in my blood. I've googled it, and I can't find any reason why - any sort of danger from being on lamictal for too long. Does anyone have any insight? Anyone else been tested to see how much lamictal is in their bloodstream?",2.512857142857144,4.133021714285718,3.9804761904761934,87.89785714285715,75.90476190476191,7.180952380952381,22.714285714285715,7.957251820313856,1.0646142857142853,320,9,67,5,7,106,61,84,0.053,0.9470000000000001,0.0,-0.6536,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,4,0,9,3,2,2,0,8,12,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,4,2,8,0,12,7,2,10,0,0,2,0,3,6,0,1,3,41,9,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5044474533265959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3457878450958482,0.2533529241418009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25308691548440704,0.21638387522536545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065587590029268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259963648370825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14052679221299866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015545428267465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188223583055014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817687359393592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542303156066041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19703874462253554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20454073735571396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14418261470397178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22311882923191026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Petrol_bomb676,2019/10/02,"empty ive just got nothing left in me, no desire to continue and it doesnt help that at crossroads with finding a job. i have no close friends around me and im just tired i havent felt this down in such a long time. im currently waiting for my meds to be filled but itll be a couple of days. holding on to the next hour seems excruciating. 

i dont really know what i want from this post, comform maybe or just someone to notice me. im a ghost of myself and i cant stop hurting",0.07444155844155986,1.987046885714289,2.5174891774891783,94.01493506493507,84.90476190476191,5.341991341991342,20.97402597402597,6.574015621080383,0.1998571428571423,373,12,88,4,11,128,73,105,0.166,0.728,0.106,-0.7282,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,5,0,9,1,0,0,0,20,15,5,1,2,5,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,6,6,0,3,4,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,2,1,11,1,15,10,0,18,0,1,0,0,2,8,0,2,8,55,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520234812538678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18895621284390896,0.0,0.11013395400645194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001437695218772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16396811147278928,0.0,0.15608271491151476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319381932413867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13658214435040755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446501907158482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16817623685842528,0.0,0.1828151930730222,0.0,0.5533899054724348,0.0,0.16946507736368513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385194581082136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18554451626428012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15112804045447506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715636479310019,0.0,0.1896894381305028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18161819290938305,0.0,0.0,0.16386055045499615,0.19442530388117354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16355258057179206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10940105674606404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554646149645633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14469474748724698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14277322225641567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957865456048336,0.1962775448177365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10072587967361056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SlimFist,2019/10/02,"I think I'm bipolar, what kind of meds do they prescribe? I never got prescribed meds for bipolar
I don't think my therapist figured out I'm bipolar,
Recently I did some ADHD test and it turned out negative. I then did some MMPI test and results said alot about me having depression and anxiety, (I think I had a manic episode before going into a phase of being depressed and low all the time). I'm 19, Idk if im mixing things up but Im gonna be prescribed medication soon and personally I've tried antidepressants before and hated them, ended up trying to kms with them but it didn't. Wondering what kinds of medications are used for bipolar, and can someone tell me how can I know if I'm bipolar or not,(well I mean, I really had around 5 months of a time were I wouldn't sleep unless I'm dead tired after at least 2 days of no sleep, I would talk really fast and be super confident, I felt narcissistic alot, I had super creative thoughts all the time and felt so social unlike the times like now where this episode is over) ps. At some point during the episode I took risperdal to sleep (off episode 1 mg would knock me out really good but during the episode I could take 4 mg and still be up, it freaked me out alot till one day I just threw the pills cause I was afraid I might OD) the episode ended on a very bad note with me snapping out on some drunk dude cause we were arguing and beating them so hard I got kicked out of a student hostel I was in. Anywas, ever since I got back to just social withdrawal and spending most of my time alone, my sleep got fixed after like 3 weeks and the first week was a struggle, I could hear voices while I was on bed for hours trying to sleep while all lights were out. Now I guess my depression is caused by my anxiety, I hate antidepressants, what kind of meds do they prescribe. And what's the difference between type 1 and 2",4.939339080459772,5.429552663129972,5.372324270557032,84.52393291335103,68.78779840848807,8.511450044208665,28.440428824049512,8.472884824447931,1.8177993810786912,1482,48,307,21,24,474,193,377,0.172,0.75,0.078,-0.9875,0,1,0,0,0,0,31.0,1,0,5,4,14,19,3,2,18,0,32,15,5,6,5,72,62,29,2,7,9,0,3,2,0,5,9,3,1,1,9,27,1,0,10,1,1,3,6,11,0,2,23,7,42,8,44,28,12,55,0,4,0,0,14,23,0,14,31,195,51,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935106564786213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058610567979403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11904652808563755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926603170246501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059829908050678435,0.06496681962007664,0.0,0.0,0.1324185485689952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397921858419431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424745863068905,0.0,0.0,0.10036004815584547,0.0,0.20104895502555412,0.0,0.0,0.08129328699778497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378304134127337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07038221273528861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14941666002900564,0.0,0.0,0.0661838420137123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044220344713853735,0.06526205025760615,0.24892215498650896,0.0,0.08571479825752944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06970110300929505,0.1536395042294746,0.0,0.0,0.08769579690100608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07662566636258092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16809299203924813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24307663368866836,0.04276149842282991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602657312957088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847562305535036,0.25928299747120603,0.15676768863837034,0.0,0.08254248718266023,0.0,0.0,0.06210597577182385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06001068624722175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05272503072464145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679393518967974,0.0,0.0,0.07355415093625775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495382884740363,0.0,0.07682647396798736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740136697769359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06436396769226793,0.0,0.3893232951450367,0.15863186626801146,0.06592686132410765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06213794200386436,0.0,0.0,0.08134230340840301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05850228356389701,0.06253949818899776,0.06800802942960638,0.0,0.0,0.09034162690822836,0.05169248788332188,0.14956957105052285,0.0,0.06177123125775159,0.22685371321543016,0.08942938636646591,0.0,0.0,0.08644806943171217,0.15848052419148595,0.08463326848951896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672015330195088,0.0,0.0642001337768925,0.0,0.0,0.1248265172805525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843799630328151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054580459798287,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mscocobongo,2019/10/02,"Situational Antidepressant (I see my psychiatrist this afternoon, this is just me being curious before I see him.)

Is there something that he can prescribe over usual bipolar medications when you already know what is causing a depressive episode (like “I’m broke” or “ I lost my job”). I think my regular medications are working fine it’s just something that I think even a non-bipolar person may see their general doctor for something to have in the short term. 
I do have coping methods and do things like get sun, stay active, etc.
Hope that makes sense.",5.146060606060608,7.820291686868693,5.625252525252527,74.32454545454549,71.52525252525253,8.44040404040404,32.21212121212121,9.150863307647796,3.291775757575756,443,21,72,10,9,142,74,99,0.076,0.8029999999999999,0.121,0.5423,1,0,4,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,2,5,7,0,0,3,0,11,4,0,2,0,12,22,3,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,1,4,0,0,1,8,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,13,4,4,19,2,8,0,3,3,0,5,3,0,3,6,47,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900882504028835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14657676082429352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17695386963796128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14836342749671633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763108244402427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19211043917556808,0.11377314678532048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999639993660935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17108859908412508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709370247469531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466712925864393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16831069281955552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18803724903667304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149818975961666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470586296382948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15040687639535194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4117960437967808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19362242239400665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978321462368967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836014656486699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114438913804262,0.2207487644732964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18971511988014095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12540407056064953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,youaki,2019/10/02,"I feel like bipolar defines me as a person And I hate it. My husband says it’s not...I always trust him cause I know I can’t trust my mind but...Every aspect of my life feels like it is ruled by being bipolar. I’m either fighting the depression, manic, trying to control my emotions, worried about when it will go south again, if I’m already south etc. 

The moments of rare bliss n’ happiness are amazing but always there in my mind, I’m worried about how bad I’m about to get again.

My days are filled with trying to cope, or are spent in mania...Being bipolar defines what I do, how I react, my entire day and night... How can it not define me as a person?",1.4160854700854701,3.3886031555555576,3.2318518518518538,90.38794871794872,80.4074074074074,4.746438746438747,22.236467236467234,5.369823440869387,0.1902706552706559,506,16,103,2,13,169,82,135,0.115,0.775,0.11,-0.4118,0,0,0,0,2,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,10,10,2,0,4,0,9,4,0,6,0,19,20,11,0,1,5,1,2,2,0,1,4,1,0,2,6,3,0,1,3,0,1,2,2,4,0,0,1,3,16,6,14,17,2,13,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,2,9,64,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871839942573877,0.0,0.2822810485506426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14162872197823434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17425028663229902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19024742667494635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21878653505140885,0.0,0.14609666248014685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19080385557252813,0.0,0.0,0.18917528709537887,0.0,0.0,0.1429153008855803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715337000787218,0.24235844057346165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862139334343787,0.0,0.09640106971351063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805676053115294,0.0,0.16746830733473075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322076110415176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981025062233693,0.1657391642640671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3425432081615605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591803716795151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962177812441174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13489159126141567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303267445437592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3445222451318785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,justabitofmayhem,2019/10/02,"Ways of dealing with akathisia? [Latuda] I went off my Latuda for about 9 months because the akathisia was unbearable. Even at 40mg, I throw up, shake, pace around, hyperventilate. I decided that it was better to live ""crazy"" than to live with the distress of akathisia. 

Last week, I checked myself into the ER because my mental health wasn't great. Not suicidal, but clearly unstable.

They prescribed me 40mg Latuda with 1mg Cogentin. I'm on day 6 of being back on Latuda, with the Cogentin to help with the akathisia, and it's not working (the Cogentin). 

During the day, I'm GREAT. My friends and boyfriend notice a HUGE difference in my ability to get shit done and function. It also gives me the energy to entertain my kids, which is really important to me. I can also socialize without being ""out of spoons.""

The tradeoff is this goddamn akathisia. Once 6-7pm rolls around and it's time to take my medication, I have a full on panic attack. I exercise. I eat well. I meditate. I am doing all the mundane things you're supposed to do, to stay chill. Yet, it doesn't help. I tried CBD and it did help a little but I later learned that CBD can counteract antipsychotics.

The best I can do is fall asleep in a panic, with my boyfriend trying to calm me down.

Last night, I puked for about 40 minutes and then cried myself to sleep because I felt like I was going to die.

Latuda, otherwise, has pretty much been a magical pill for me. I just wish I could find a way to manage the akathisia. My old psych told me it ""eventually goes away, you need to get used to it"" but it never did in the year I used it. I'm back on and I can't imagine doing this every night all over again. 

My psych won't see me until the 29th. I'm dreading having to do this every night until then. 

Does anyone have any tips or ideas on how to manage akathisia? Do you take a medication that doesn't give akathisia? Let me know. I'll pretty much try anything at this point.",2.4135085738479987,4.645369519582246,3.4512045727189324,88.75605461858727,78.34725848563968,6.333752028791193,24.18947145578999,7.432916251226849,1.1074691835438577,1518,53,305,21,37,487,195,383,0.127,0.7170000000000001,0.156,0.9239,0,0,0,0,0,0,61.0,0,2,1,3,14,16,2,5,21,0,33,9,3,3,4,42,53,18,2,3,8,0,1,1,1,1,5,0,0,1,19,17,1,0,7,2,1,5,9,7,2,0,11,2,42,9,55,37,6,53,0,0,1,0,13,23,1,1,23,202,61,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14997346546831591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376587808157763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06556520038033899,0.0,0.07716358588838418,0.16694790647058852,0.0,0.10667534383152047,0.08809870657149406,0.14420456388052486,0.0,0.17148144400862542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840438319777237,0.08293072568864497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.074866614243856,0.0,0.10300042768012756,0.12094600716320222,0.09667133139792658,0.0,0.0,0.09731702495865674,0.09796825183151013,0.0,0.0,0.08205755256835484,0.09595785556231767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594870915431684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06193329014639619,0.0,0.15800821563883802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003258152142138,0.0,0.08570282128722181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244540436611352,0.0,0.09798046915099112,0.1799028120602105,0.05329086849595654,0.0,0.0,0.20676047246737905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967165983378956,0.0,0.0,0.18855339129688767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585336011523226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051532782113911456,0.15286788330388215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09588476850002443,0.0,0.045810612027826283,0.09398079264159064,0.1655988214067633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889240423995417,0.0944967158546807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484521907474956,0.0,0.13786145191357513,0.06952824470276434,0.07232014155129136,0.0,0.0,0.2639864976453155,0.0,0.0,0.10675619706953687,0.09839439468205832,0.09986052161846017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22003454749915213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864165601241528,0.0,0.0,0.1907927969824917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060070580014298824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472145106943262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625214247624088,0.0,0.0,0.09383634007487372,0.0955853010561034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994487420462038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025676526555278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410046674349001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06229570555916322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05467723726267338,0.0,0.0,0.08959993620718683,0.0,0.19098821658920345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16197196480683992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14885833434984475,0.07521553212951476,0.0,0.08430925188529483,0.08692445155612276,0.0,0.0,0.10782928709994227,0.09038960498286262,0.0,0.06826467322932428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06038391791959565
bipolarreddit,Julespoles,2019/10/02,"Struggling with recent diagnosis Hi guys, this is my first time posting here so I hope I’m following the rules! My psychiatrist recently said she thinks I have bipolar NOS. I’ve always known that my moods and behaviors fluctuated a lot, and would look online for answers when I was younger but bipolar 1 or 2 didn’t seem to fit. After some recent suicide attempts, I made myself go to a pdoc because my friends didn’t want me to die. I was put on Lamictal and have taken it for the past few days. Since the last suicide attempt, I’ve been having mood swings every few hours, going from being extremely euphoric and talking to every one and having racing thoughts, to feeling extremely depressed or numb. Sometimes I’m really agitated and have racing thoughts but I can’t move because I’m so depressed. Could the Lamictal be causing this or is it too soon? Will the Lamictal help balance me out? I’m really struggling with this diagnosis since I already have mild pure-o OCD, anxiety and PTSD. This just feels overwhelming knowing I’ll be living with these disorders my whole life. Does it ever get better?",5.720724637681157,7.335708995169082,6.209391304347829,75.12365217391304,67.74396135265701,8.998260869565216,34.08985507246377,9.3871,3.3927947826086964,890,42,149,18,15,288,132,207,0.187,0.701,0.11199999999999999,-0.9715,0,0,0,0,0,2,20.0,0,0,0,4,8,11,0,3,7,0,20,4,0,2,1,35,41,15,3,4,6,0,2,0,1,2,4,1,0,1,9,11,0,0,9,0,0,5,3,6,0,2,10,4,16,3,14,25,5,22,0,3,1,0,7,3,0,7,13,93,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13650856388903035,0.0,0.10293022302364148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463192076389547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15081554759762406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10940463161809126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12707633726802067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09876622064775087,0.0,0.0,0.07977774973926778,0.0,0.21308921912118145,0.0,0.12838345712472446,0.0,0.14177355264291605,0.0,0.10825271617576394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189581226530562,0.20844904564685296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250951992408069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522111302206746,0.0,0.0,0.09557208997368673,0.0,0.06462934602476096,0.0,0.14060573540131366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12248472525631472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291504402773411,0.0,0.0,0.12286429544835092,0.1218218473786684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798354887903507,0.10083388466832464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08737459266496296,0.0,0.0,0.10923139706033994,0.0,0.10387877661715077,0.0,0.0,0.105167271659391,0.0,0.11705010707339902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13147596789071594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382387978957251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808784237229407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11847260874065665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14460136872304566,0.12435497811000915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849372166893475,0.0,0.3664232925068488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176692146576114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126139278103824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20465564140847767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12234473756825325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586410048131565,0.0,0.2706204765852377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994272228246366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926343883606597,0.0,0.19641161673078814,0.07213180580471891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07296282144195196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13810920007016125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787456459017455,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,radi0frequency,2019/10/02,"Med-Caused Akathisia/Tardive Dyskinesia I went to the psychiatrist today. He wants me to see a neurologist about potentially having a movement disorder caused by 7 years of Abilify use. I stopped the Abilify about 3 months ago, per his recommendation.

Since about 1 month ago, I can't stop moving my tongue. My mouth looks twisted and funny 90% of the day. My tongue is getting ""cut up"" by my teeth and my teeth and gums hurt from all the friction.  I've also started moving while being still. I rock back and forth all day.  I move my hips when I'm sitting/laying/standing, and my feet move around too. I can't stay still.

I have never experienced this before. I'm generally a very still person.

Does anyone have first-hand experience with this or something similar? Any resources or further information would be amazing.",4.034128035320087,6.765376165562916,4.8247417218543065,78.40143929359823,75.42384105960264,7.47037527593819,27.94746136865342,8.447377352677275,2.3244380573951435,655,27,114,13,15,211,105,151,0.07200000000000001,0.866,0.061,-0.1311,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,0,11,3,1,0,7,0,9,5,5,2,3,20,18,10,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,7,0,2,1,1,0,6,3,2,0,0,1,3,16,1,13,14,2,28,0,1,2,0,4,3,0,2,18,65,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320699761094059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468071528256882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901651645318323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152835205916923,0.0,0.0,0.11652878867402525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006540513475923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11138629342157373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26894079982029595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16883939436725845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002278732952565,0.0,0.11455150776664698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804535758694094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11134350777852474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06838986858388152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401312009454153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099230661993628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14540043595430802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089663273102288,0.5565041096061717,0.0,0.0,0.10095818114605334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142968665195006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431038478006184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828186637934913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077324655485903,0.0,0.0,0.09265172257075438,0.13952202661845325,0.3136108248633563,0.21887659073988236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240779328763697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130556067285458,0.0,0.1080062425673134,0.07720823552837061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134564919235392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298763323220667,0.0,0.0,0.08429533450665788
bipolarreddit,laurgasm666,2019/10/02,love & bipolar does anyone else find it incredibly hard to maintain healthy romantic relationships? why does it feel like i’m taken advantage of more than my friends without this illness? should i give up on trying to find a fulfilling relationship? i can’t help but feel like i’m following a pipe dream at this point.,4.322429378531074,7.2011863559322045,4.8450000000000015,77.8406073446328,75.27118644067797,8.679096045197742,31.867231638418087,9.2995712137729,3.428624858757064,261,13,45,7,6,83,47,59,0.021,0.642,0.337,0.9447,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,7,10,1,0,1,2,0,3,2,1,1,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,3,3,5,8,8,1,5,0,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,2,21,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161545885531416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13949272952498326,0.20440794216974145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34916180899317595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16665389202807127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20174304907215254,0.2850409613226049,0.0,0.0,0.36467273492635655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413065373015586,0.0,0.0,0.19137541072034991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17870985594807876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13371843122377972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19492801900709986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800535584987329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18858886230894967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4283695874388322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135445162396065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18001473990128675,0.0,0.0,0.19230769747674709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ellejayy91,2019/10/02,"Is this my bipolar disorder, something else or am I just a Sh*** person? I can be extremely self absorbed. I become obsessed with my mood, living in my head, whatever drama my mind creates. When I'm depressed all I can think about is how awful everything is and wanting to die. I don't check on my friends or even ask them about themselves if they talk to me first. When I'm manic of course I'm pretty out of touch.

Problem is, it seems even when I'm relatively stable I'm still pretty self absorbed. I try to make a conscious effort to show and interest and support friends/family but it doesn't come naturally.

Idk, I'm in a downward slump right now, mostly situational though, so maybe I'm just being harsh on myself?",2.51459758551308,4.842951626760564,4.154446680080483,83.34281690140848,78.50704225352112,6.592354124748491,26.340040241448694,7.7094869923839395,1.6840547283702212,569,23,107,9,14,190,94,142,0.114,0.779,0.106,-0.4881,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,2,14,7,0,1,3,1,11,2,1,2,1,22,25,13,1,3,6,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,3,6,0,0,3,2,1,1,2,3,0,1,0,1,15,3,14,23,2,14,0,1,0,0,8,7,0,5,6,68,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601466955583345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18919249440294306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14756376204237465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14754441845089256,0.0,0.17778715036174886,0.0,0.19632993600225526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310302893345458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22629017219408304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15395754694165056,0.0,0.16149075029983226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457116225177756,0.0,0.0,0.1323495247057509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17580796181388528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512651181726949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434716425368348,0.0,0.17209851599915876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17296883304698504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14957658692037593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34855676793937496,0.0,0.16391538643458986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14629320974526452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15594929257124535,0.35741615824867656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19255357060154912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13187866589491876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13680409105628255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943944530669824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13768816489496535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10976508371204363,0.16830591968553615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163045924543768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010399034037197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Samilulu,2018/11/01,"Out of control rage I struggle with bipolar rage. My husband mentioned his sister( who I hate) and I completely freaked out. Yelling, cussing, hitting walls. Anyone else experience this?",5.712999999999997,9.457485300000002,4.248333333333335,77.9625,79.33333333333334,5.666666666666668,44.16666666666666,7.1686216300943375,4.244666666666667,149,11,20,2,4,43,26,30,0.34299999999999997,0.657,0.0,-0.8999,0,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,0,5,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,5,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,5,0,4,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,12,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25332894660716204,0.3712196961399628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3798652008393279,0.0,0.406350838801321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30265559401713266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3543994273432083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3576967549441596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3787551660595268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Anoxiachan,2018/11/01,"Anyone care to help out? It is okay to say no. Would someone feel comfortable enough to help me complete a project?  I will need to ask questions about your history with your diagnoses, medication regimen, coping mechanism, family systems.  

​

If not, I totally understand.  If so please respond here or shoot me a dm. 

​

Thank you.",4.817506053268769,8.194584406779661,5.0971428571428605,73.53084745762712,77.81355932203391,9.473123486682807,35.54721549636804,9.606745405546679,4.730867312348668,276,16,41,9,7,87,49,59,0.065,0.655,0.28,0.9331,0,0,0,1,0,1,19.0,0,3,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,1,3,2,0,0,1,12,9,4,0,4,4,0,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,7,4,7,7,2,2,0,0,0,0,9,1,0,4,0,29,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3780309199390484,0.4239493515424481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197882362828945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16308630179667905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17786242082982465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829064974858864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17706210161574196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802524895934804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16445502761670894,0.0,0.08820667530417085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338590261103996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17573905298326206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12935175136483268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19149265784400735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19542284728457596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13872887702181122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14781010393007427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16060923637640312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18160760100724452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12392359152616385,0.0,0.4239493515424481,0.0
bipolarreddit,es0terr0rist,2018/11/01,"Experiences with lamictal? Hey fellow bipolar bbs. 

I got put on lamictal mid-September. At first I was only on 20mg, my dosage was upped to 50mg at the beginning of October.

I've noticed that lamictal, while it has stablilized my condition (I have ultradian rapid-cycling Bipolar 2- now THAT is a ride) has made me extremely depressed. I have absolutely no motivation for school, work, anything. I've isolated myself from my friends, my family, no one really knows what's going on.

Have any of you had similar experiences on Lamictal? Should I keep trying with it? I honestly want to go off of my meds just to feel something again.",4.096899766899767,6.645564564102568,6.0060450660450675,70.94678321678325,74.2991452991453,10.750271950271951,32.858585858585855,10.637119530657019,4.552288888888889,502,26,85,19,11,173,83,117,0.09699999999999999,0.8170000000000001,0.086,-0.3271,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,3,3,3,0,0,2,0,10,2,0,2,0,10,19,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,3,0,0,4,2,1,0,2,5,1,14,2,18,13,0,17,0,1,0,0,4,8,0,0,5,57,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15191937019651325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838388135308157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19241372469537668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4370552984159105,0.2106012351757232,0.0,0.11295753640988075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900235624933755,0.0,0.0,0.1725979557727028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539262509260383,0.0,0.17867304630133335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19856780488810252,0.0,0.0,0.12277456280307017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21138607735173431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24814656354356834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543418943063919,0.0,0.0,0.1513813321504252,0.16990544187881304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22457827403226374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14311548680371824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260922943997454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17198390545111775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516736455928541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176685611622446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626375496688391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sucrerey,2018/11/01,"[Need Advice] Just got called into HR about missing too many days. HR person didnt know I was BP2 even though Im open about it. Probably going to need to invoke ADA. I get 10 personal days a year. I use those up around July and after that I end up just not getting paid. Now theyre unhappy that Im not there enough and Im concerned Im being moved out. I have been putting off invoking the ADA (Im in the US) but now Im concerned I might need to.

1. What is the syntax for getting help under this? Do I visit my doc first, define what needs the BP is causing then bring a doctors note to the HR meeting?

2. How will this affect my career down the road? Ive been putting this off because I was worried it would make me harder to hire if anyone knew.",0.320194852941178,2.333258306250002,2.38808823529412,94.70455882352941,84.6875,4.764705882352942,19.411764705882355,5.900188976854957,-0.1774779411764702,579,16,130,4,17,194,106,160,0.046,0.93,0.024,-0.316,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,0,1,12,1,0,0,8,0,14,1,0,5,0,25,30,7,0,6,6,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,10,6,0,0,2,0,1,6,3,1,0,1,8,0,13,0,19,18,1,27,0,1,0,0,7,12,0,2,9,81,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759014725503284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698569745724887,0.0,0.0,0.09801389261459433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671169995231137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242618790298413,0.0,0.0,0.11310481715813687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14201302920017708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269379755364232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975174627968478,0.11376453073565508,0.0,0.07272116168460978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365248484016184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17257084652423604,0.0,0.06257335683357418,0.0,0.08805842044280429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379887629776513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7135726444574595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060509037567764115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349376722146644,0.11162588445014984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680054820543262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702072650712725,0.0,0.3265561840958356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19227318723041148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11870829902947776,0.0,0.0,0.22136532047144955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817440173611616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324388382233812,0.09509255372393227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118136626793043,0.0,0.07821311799269011,0.0,0.0,0.07090191152127315
bipolarreddit,cliclia,2018/11/01,"Advice on how to support my sister Hi guys, 

This may not be the most appropriate place to post this so mods to your deletey thing if not.

My sister has recently been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. It wasn't much of a surprise to any of us, she's been suffering with depression on and off for years and when she told us allot the diagnosis we all kinda went ""oooh, yeah, that makes sense"".

Anyway, we've always been really close and I want to do my best to support her in anyway that I can. I'm just finding it hard not having an insight into what it's like for her and what it feels like for her. We're all pretty new to this and she's struggling a bit to articulate the way it feels (completely understandably). So I guess I'm asking what advice you would give myself and my family and, if it's not too hard or painful, if you could give us an idea of what it feels like? 

Thanks for being such a great community.",4.552258064516128,5.051052774193551,5.617365591397854,82.39604838709681,69.64516129032258,8.995698924731181,26.252688172043012,9.075114841892004,1.808965591397849,720,20,151,13,12,239,110,186,0.098,0.75,0.152,0.8998,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,4,3,0,1,9,13,0,1,8,1,13,3,0,2,2,40,30,15,0,6,9,2,5,3,0,2,3,0,0,1,17,12,0,0,7,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,6,5,21,9,22,19,7,14,0,2,0,0,21,7,0,9,7,111,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414065472262542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10277935172665127,0.0,0.0,0.08399850318326631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154754436621032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962764951986894,0.0,0.1348529202218582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12950939909224302,0.0,0.0,0.09862145279074812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10638844043009124,0.1253711961983956,0.0,0.0,0.14156574623642226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644458833935988,0.0,0.18736775901767905,0.17648682783005634,0.0,0.0,0.11289593938469444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369851617535238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13618231824947133,0.1360722870791254,0.12230519169641305,0.0,0.0,0.22130107498863186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13944015316818148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18103833692953386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08245121435482719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080213396102936,0.0,0.0,0.1192973337092898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13143503326834902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290531356409817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11829895599209113,0.1256652448522325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913070372992334,0.0,0.12196206761917712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913094921848284,0.0,0.0,0.28034029219397705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11372152426338493,0.0,0.0,0.08206185155987003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11802959126652762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12858969801686204,0.4457415962780089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285587524889374,0.09804520574267453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11450518742013704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774576131798964,0.0,0.0,0.07954346233730647
bipolarreddit,lilithros,2018/12/09,"Diagnosed years ago but only looking into treatment now So I’m in a weird situation right now. I was given a preliminary bipolar diagnosis (in the ER) 2 yrs ago. I was supposed to come back for further evaluation but of course I never did. Since then I was treated for insomnia and depression but stopped all meds when I moved from the US to Europe. Here, I went to three different psychiatrists, all of which either prescribed for depression or just the sleeping problem (that I’ve had most of my life). My main problem is that none of the psychiatrists actually took the time to diagnose me. Every visit lasted less than half an hour. They never asked about previous hospitalizations or previous diagnoses. And since I also suffer from the social anxiety disorder (also unmedicated), it’s essentially impossible for me to bring it up. Every single time I tell myself that I’ll tell them I might be bipolar but I always chicken out. I guess it wouldn’t be that big of a deal, if it wasn’t for the fact that it’s really affecting my life. I’m in grad school and I’m starting to skip more and more classes, and when I’m not studying, I just sit on the couch all day scrolling through social media. I literary sit home up to 3-4 days at a time, depending on how many classes I skip, to the point that my legs start hurting from not moving them all day. I can’t make friends with anyone (haven’t made a friend in 5 years) and I cut off contact with all of my high school classmates years ago (most likely in a manic episode). I constantly lash out on my partner due to the mood swings. He’s aware of my condition, so he bears with me, but I know it’s starting to get to him too. Basically, I see the problem and I want to do something about it but I’m so discouraged by the incompetence of the doctors I saw so far. Also, I’m worried they might discredit the ER diagnosis or flat out think I’m lying. Any ideas how I might go about finding a knowledgeable psychiatrist or how to break it to them that I’m possibly bipolar?",4.9042196100382505,5.884095345088163,6.165099356283236,77.05079111857451,69.10075566750629,9.508685511708183,31.580278011008488,9.725611199111238,2.9900839443977985,1600,67,308,36,27,539,206,397,0.14800000000000002,0.8270000000000001,0.025,-0.9942,1,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,1,0,5,0,22,15,1,0,22,0,16,12,2,7,8,64,44,31,0,6,16,0,0,1,3,4,10,0,2,1,16,15,0,2,5,0,0,8,9,10,2,2,11,3,40,4,55,27,14,61,0,5,3,0,20,22,0,12,29,207,56,6,0.0,0.0,0.08735515169991248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23805282105885414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147588412878216,0.07448486543098161,0.0,0.0,0.060874262202483764,0.0,0.06847984660399603,0.0,0.0,0.0625919899386477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08368580592559159,0.0,0.0,0.06883263193856973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07711050364713984,0.0,0.09673549156130834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17319213285929774,0.09228753922986813,0.15420079102897327,0.2725719666707304,0.0,0.09352564771209937,0.1025936180848877,0.09162388957432784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15084295611266904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181642237963943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13832038931874602,0.0,0.04676865550403973,0.0,0.050874266918597706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098612472463634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457905439980764,0.0897923077406098,0.0,0.08815568102353731,0.0,0.09582922146348613,0.10105318694780467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049195905158122735,0.07296786220581891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12645624551385248,0.04373322052697997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07517128079753906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847026385247569,0.05975293191353951,0.0907556399067026,0.0,0.0,0.0994326066139996,0.0,0.0,0.28488845251402994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19028365990227664,0.0,0.0,0.13808122437150105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808130131911982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08462198863252345,0.10091635814405278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25696548722830403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05734653624258905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644656741927341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18119087241407134,0.07133302859456468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14809788089646356,0.100620251223175,0.08958110735229714,0.18250151505005752,0.0,0.06891414400609992,0.0,0.0,0.1900806326065413,0.0,0.0,0.07483976853718399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15648266263857086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05735853281834604,0.0,0.0,0.156593302457651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945608039298147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767727907079612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05279912718463927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829826549093386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090830999242157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17293699527895434
bipolarreddit,downdootcannon,2018/12/09,"Anyone know of a USB-C battery bank with built-in cables that I can bring to the psych ward? I'm likely going to end up in the psych ward again, and last time I was in they let me keep my phone with me in my room as long as I was aware that any theft or damage is my own problem, which was cool, but I had to go to the nursing station to charge it and I want to minimize the amount of work they have to do.

I need to find a USB-C power bank for my phone that doesn't require outside cables to connect to said phone due to hospital policy.  I have a 6 inch charging cable, but it's not allowed.  I'd need something with a shorter lead, or even something that plugs directly into the phone directly without a cable.  Anyone able to help me out?  I'm not even entirely sure what search terms to use, really.

I need my phone to live through the day for a variety of legitimate reasons, not to look at memes, otherwise I'd just shut it off for the entire stay and use the hospital phones.

Thanks in advance.",5.625454545454545,4.557779009569376,6.442966507177037,82.71076555023927,67.51674641148325,9.705263157894738,30.961722488038287,8.841846274778883,2.196201913875598,779,25,171,11,11,259,119,209,0.034,0.91,0.055999999999999994,0.63,2,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,5,4,6,0,0,14,1,11,0,0,5,1,32,27,9,0,5,9,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,9,8,0,2,3,0,2,5,5,2,0,0,5,3,18,4,37,21,3,26,0,1,1,0,10,12,0,2,9,104,27,5,0.17445145193215106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11863296950905085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439610227785049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125067544877022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15451220647767028,0.0,0.0,0.23044707742071566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15944546661146006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982895607366577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693113095133688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506046603733278,0.0,0.0,0.09587395568230156,0.14220121704982808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783884290481077,0.0,0.085228167530844,0.0,0.15404382815484988,0.1543840452929083,0.146495282902121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3880606234241068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16692647931586194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175806719246226,0.17936514743454154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659432797679977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686025012483656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18594203625540826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644184288979222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16061145864737925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10172404452305137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013400856437401,0.0,0.0,0.10289598623084813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168164974348014,0.0,0.12700273471337073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PretendDGAF,2018/12/09,"Started new job, having second thoughts about the position I started working at a deli in a grocery store and am liking it, but am now realizing it might not be for me. Honestly I don't feel confident in my perception to do this job safely (I'm dealing with meat slicers and stuff). I'm just not sure how to approach my manager.

The deli is in a grocery store so I'm hoping I could just transfer to another department, but I literally started 3 days ago. 

It's partially I think my disorder and my medications that are making it difficult for me to do my job safely. I was fired from a driving job some time ago because I simply couldn't drive safely. My perception was off... foggy brained type feeling. 

Anyway, does anyone have advice on how to approach this situation? I know if I told them I didn't feel safe doing my job they'd not hesitate to keep me over there due to liability, but I also don't want to pull a fast one on them.

Thanks in advance!",3.1739736842105266,5.0104134894736845,5.126513157894738,79.45871710526319,74.63157894736842,8.328947368421053,29.769736842105264,9.017664075816787,2.684447368421053,753,34,144,17,16,259,113,190,0.12,0.727,0.153,0.8296,5,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,3,2,10,10,0,0,7,0,19,2,1,3,1,37,37,11,0,5,9,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,4,0,5,9,0,2,7,7,1,0,2,5,4,24,9,22,27,1,27,0,0,0,0,5,9,0,4,12,101,32,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904226477666728,0.234116939303332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560404700729076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13847080292828445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233567393254033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049928217820103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14741665008821722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10543488376689113,0.0,0.0,0.08516431747391533,0.1361425341919674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513460568409982,0.0,0.11556190438984708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20031237965645865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311600527461597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6552192636476581,0.11737623058622795,0.0,0.0,0.0725737760047119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06451522622235302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881474968776343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13303115582525207,0.0,0.14008910343674874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12753919312085987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948364091022543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484349469805993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804068592555084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15117096772918495,0.0,0.0,0.12445993434781374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12157816938616932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461528046568025,0.0,0.10483663262936344,0.0770021218898355,0.0,0.0,0.12618386653301708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788924743281468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613734987233344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,GreatMadWombat,2018/12/09,"Anyone else love that feeling of satisfaction you get when setting up your meds for the next week? I don't know. There's just something about that clattering rattle as you drop the pills into the weekly pill sorter that makes me feel awesome. 

Like I'm preparing my arsenal for the next week, and regardless of what else happens today, I've gotten one major task done. 

Am I alone in this? 
",5.76472972972973,6.911321148648652,5.649567567567567,80.91840540540544,67.24324324324324,8.622702702702702,28.313513513513517,8.841846274778883,2.1409113513513507,311,10,57,5,5,97,60,74,0.051,0.7559999999999999,0.193,0.9092,0,1,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,3,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,3,3,0,1,0,8,12,3,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,7,2,9,10,1,12,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,8,33,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21217395119208934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14324339759846005,0.2099040446925889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096436703811322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422697340341647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20716749818700966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10703128502668127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18115768206782495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125861090163218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008461310061792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18489482252501416,0.0,0.13674613943660427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275541074412457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43574345719927504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388189440500096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577118116822821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19418403448054156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4929808028607198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,devilsandgods,2018/12/09,"Psychosis and insight I have been in another episode of psychosis for close to 2 months (I have schizoaffective disorder). During the entire time I have been forthcoming and honest with my treating team. Despite this, I wonder that I'll completely 'lose it' as my symptoms have become progressively worse. This really scares me because I've never lost my insight (as far I know and have been told).  

So, how do you guys deal with insight in your illness? And what made you realise that you weren't well? These may be silly questions but I just want to have some kind of support about this. ",4.423611111111106,6.993430435185188,4.246074074074077,83.85633333333334,73.35185185185185,6.912592592592592,29.31851851851852,7.908726449838941,2.1342785185185185,469,20,81,7,10,143,76,108,0.085,0.826,0.08900000000000001,0.1158,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,4,0,4,5,9,0,1,1,0,13,2,0,2,1,21,20,9,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,8,7,0,0,6,1,0,0,2,3,1,0,7,0,14,6,12,11,1,7,0,2,0,0,9,4,0,4,3,59,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21977777112659266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776666589835925,0.2314803032974133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197555085773837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160823948983165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402130870761268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075311891745892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21826008380205103,0.11518747920322893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344822737509997,0.22879680499941274,0.0,0.0,0.19832307957684006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16729607372209962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16165195161596235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347934479253596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13427139778380087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098403367895765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378449900842359,0.0,0.2178486037543683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12221605105973893,0.0,0.0,0.20027621962389328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12362407694261332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18845033782011875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272959460144285,0.0,0.0,0.2135943741361116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Showemwhosboss,2018/12/09,"DAE Binge eat as a coping mechanism? This should probably be posted in a sub about eating disorders, but I'm wondering if binge eating is also a symptom of bp. I guess I figure since I don't drink or smoke pot that I should have some escape from the anxiety & depression and food serves that purpose. 

I've gained about 15-20 lbs over the last 2 years. I've eaten like garbage for a long time, but since Lithium was added to my many other meds, the weight sticks now.

If anyone has tips on combatting this (aside from "" just stop eating."") they would be greatly appreciated. ",5.762895752895751,6.382451801801803,5.902393822393822,80.98864864864865,67.01801801801801,9.225740025740027,27.56885456885457,9.23628265651192,2.0974854568854573,454,13,88,8,7,144,87,111,0.087,0.7929999999999999,0.12,0.5704,0,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,1,5,3,0,0,7,0,10,9,0,0,0,15,14,8,0,5,6,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,5,1,8,1,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,6,2,11,7,1,10,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,6,7,49,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12487866115691787,0.0,0.1691959963968948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11945964378729043,0.0,0.0,0.10918857434432687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13449775723478796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17896940018196295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15297436713650578,0.0,0.6391502017512268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888256108337217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17216359508177748,0.17202449213433674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272887609902819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629040082457172,0.0,0.0,0.13819399193409096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15831864340522114,0.0,0.0,0.17345517485807332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14955519791276908,0.0,0.168363609890869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583492950831424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055420731701178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16230686853477522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091056376723712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901571032684823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16934555738464974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092942105757776,0.0,0.0,0.10055995974569784
bipolarreddit,Like89thtossawaol,2018/12/09,Hypomainia isn't fun anymore... After coming out of a long period of feeling shitty I was really enjoying have energy and getting things done. It's not fun anymore. I can't sleep even though I'm super exhausted and it's starting to make it so I cant even think clearly. I keep saying dumb things to people. I'm anxious as fuck too. Initially I thought I was super on top of everything but now I'm realizing I neglected a ton of stuff I shouldn't have and I'm dealing with the consequences. I'm too tired to function but I know when I lay down I'm not going to be able to stop thinking and I'm just going to lay awake in bed. I'm sorry this is kind of a pointless post. I'm super tired of this I just want to live my life. ,0.1962007168458797,2.3859316774193573,2.9941397849462383,88.93343189964159,87.06451612903227,6.2831541218638005,21.514336917562726,7.594959193182576,1.0377455197132621,570,20,122,11,18,200,89,155,0.205,0.677,0.11800000000000001,-0.9091,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,4,10,11,2,0,4,0,11,6,1,1,1,26,34,10,0,2,6,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,1,0,8,7,0,3,6,0,0,3,6,4,0,0,4,2,12,7,20,28,1,16,0,1,0,1,2,5,2,0,7,74,20,0,0.1648109779608225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18618949351595213,0.3268964082125465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419700641519391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699128814518507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16865885160327482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21771219314754148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14812147991798089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333338247279894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15236509339606266,0.08610693366226951,0.0,0.187331753691226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464915698185935,0.0,0.17162527174960435,0.09057580330783456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641086777340034,0.0,0.0,0.14553111301649596,0.14585252919630656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100126075670666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425918048062934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578433589242784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558213270798487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106430470272845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16493000247806186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18449239655363736,0.11665405847811836,0.0,0.0,0.13778935732232614,0.0,0.0,0.18866913908413244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218986180919828,0.2112084398033558,0.16192594905546745,0.1308415069360098,0.0,0.3788519489833772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972097849064907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SophieCatAndyCat,2018/12/09,"Feeling patronized Has anyone here felt talked down to by therapists and other mental health staff? I attended day program where I felt talked down to, and the material was taught in a manner as if they thought we were stupid. Maybe that's how group therapy works but I was really put off by it. Plus, my assigned therapist kept telling me that she would ""see"" but never did. So I didn't get the one-on-one portion of the day program. In the end, I just left. Has this happened to any of you?

Oh! And I forgot to mention that one of the instructors said that I was a drug addict by default because ""90% of all individuals with bipolar1"" are addicts. She said this after finding out that my boyfriend and I socially drink and smoke with my brother twice a month.",3.416295133437991,5.5420266734693895,4.15197278911565,85.43524332810048,74.78231292517006,7.244165358451077,28.314495028780733,8.139509932561175,1.9573468341182627,599,25,116,10,13,191,99,147,0.021,0.9690000000000001,0.009000000000000001,-0.3822,0,0,3,0,0,0,20.0,1,1,1,1,5,1,1,0,8,0,10,5,0,1,2,25,22,12,0,2,4,1,3,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,9,10,1,2,5,1,0,2,2,1,0,2,14,6,17,0,22,7,2,16,0,0,1,0,14,8,0,1,6,83,26,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3344640552204031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431937182376692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726301782320168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09351310897826644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19786462401908345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502766417382805,0.17789889954966556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358696185854557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07756521914089327,0.0,0.2945820752588433,0.0,0.14020765884803985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014679088832585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356538591392635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16306032717358696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16667292244535128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15411403776178514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15459424905523694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244489486840167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11831393158555505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078998281173735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15421249075747712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982739571807358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918429636451512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12224241352642085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15637514704967498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465992100022213,0.13408107529474173,0.0,0.175429819792691,0.3562256569209857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217849300852391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11167928746981724,0.0,0.0,0.10897316444936828,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DJT_MAGA_2020g,2018/12/09,"Gabapentin for your mental health issues Who has taken Gabapentin for their Bipolar, anxiety and/or depression? Did it work well for you, and did you have any withdrawal symptoms when you quit? Thank you for all the responses!",7.709649122807015,10.334215578947378,5.1868421052631595,80.43622807017546,64.26315789473685,9.27719298245614,33.719298245614034,9.725611199111238,3.5147087719298247,184,8,29,4,3,51,30,38,0.121,0.737,0.142,-0.3296,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,5,1,2,2,3,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,1,2,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,0,6,2,4,3,1,1,0,1,0,0,7,0,0,0,1,21,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221543509352036,0.0,0.24922298829799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28059629105471784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3462919349165149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34003265402386923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3283124875329904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465101620378263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33861312084231504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2999370776786897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29291790680930363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23717379462173174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BR1GHTBL4CK,2019/10/18,"So I saw Joker...and it was relatable? No, not the killing people parts. - The scene where Arthur walks into an exit door while being questioned outside of the hospital by detectives. I run into stuff all the time. I could be a klutz or maybe a cognitive thing.

- Arthur randomly dances around when he's happy. Joaquin Pheonix (the actor) portrays it in a manner that is disturbing. I do this, or similar odd random movements sometimes when alone. I honestly don't know why.

- The things written in Aurthur's journal. Ex: ""I hope my death makes more sense than my life"" and ""the worst thing about having mental illness is acting like you don't""

- His coworkers feel ""uncomfortable"" around him due to his behavior. This hasn't happened to me, but it's a constant paranoia.

- The film shows how hard it is to get decent mental healthcare, especially if you are financially steuggling.

- He inappropriately laughs a lot, due to his disorder. I did this when I was younger, got it under control now. It was the most awful thing ever.

Probably parts too that I'm forgetting atm.",3.3971836925960672,6.333394613402064,4.089297094657919,81.4505248359888,79.67010309278348,7.032427366447985,27.37488284910965,8.150884317080207,2.2746061855670106,841,36,144,17,22,267,135,194,0.13699999999999998,0.789,0.07400000000000001,-0.8567,0,1,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,2,0,1,12,8,1,1,15,1,16,2,0,3,2,25,26,11,2,3,5,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,16,5,0,1,3,4,1,5,5,3,0,0,7,3,17,5,15,16,7,24,0,0,1,0,10,9,0,9,11,103,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619325221364049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783711439420684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16895992711868285,0.17536098367122255,0.12483358126927628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17919183491695656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14142846493975675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905578252567867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168696409004389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12504820785347048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382607063534838,0.16643858705478493,0.14005981937919298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15529185900152553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17297925797242822,0.0,0.08592644143216085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043536183501773,0.07638521946436555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292406115632416,0.0,0.0,0.1043655318052607,0.0,0.15707563245994344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31513014385562577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33862587524122945,0.0,0.10839412316651542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685728630643756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17514894493192432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15463517425218615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789845316024556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4154907284743361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116954747248483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14108249275010218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mindlesschic,2019/10/18,"Hypomanic behaviors Does anyone else cook when hypomanic? Like way too much food? By three pm I had made two homemade deep dish chicken pot pies and a huge batch of homemade chicken noodle soup. Then I tried finding people to feed because it’s a lot of food for a family of three. I really hate this. I can neglect everything for weeks and not be able to get out of bed then not need sleep for a week and destroy my house trying to clean and organize it just to fall back into a debilitating depression leaving it worse than before. I moved to a new apartment almost 6 weeks ago and the place is a complete wreck and we are supposed to have guests over tomorrow. I’m absolutely exhausted rn and just want to sleep. Also, caffeine can’t touch me when I’m depressed. I can drink 20oz and sleep for 6 hours immediately after. Anyone else experience this?",4.855909090909094,6.27950703030303,5.863409090909091,77.51511363636364,69.60606060606061,8.893939393939394,29.50757575757576,9.2995712137729,2.5926666666666667,680,26,127,14,12,225,113,165,0.159,0.789,0.052000000000000005,-0.9639,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,0,7,7,2,0,8,0,8,10,3,1,0,22,15,13,0,2,4,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,2,0,5,11,6,1,1,2,0,2,3,6,0,3,2,1,9,1,21,12,2,23,0,3,0,0,2,7,0,2,14,75,14,0,0.12859532205622382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139919940050998,0.0,0.12876963948352296,0.0,0.0,0.10283763258815197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17983367834375555,0.2635222082773757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09888186494572326,0.0,0.07839051474684756,0.0,0.1094251475768364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13482974854756388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22151792490890854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125346329199844,0.0,0.0,0.12597445886468472,0.0,0.0,0.21484978117331552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557318358990085,0.12579090047865826,0.12122822494402917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11753379465870037,0.0,0.3109959477504525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718574819819112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12696125735876435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664048867036254,0.14838173611444594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13616387835884025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282517875605474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10932714419996696,0.0,0.12168000303440765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366764761852126,0.0945323580787202,0.09535180187928073,0.0,0.12419816337007285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915180465271845,0.0,0.13435474142965434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238145618063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3860645761796615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.174615564915082,0.0,0.1256189440178177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758488527386688,0.10207298102868544,0.3094542318097534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13104961938100906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,honey929,2019/10/18,"Getting Diagnosed I (21F) recently visited a neuropsychologist over concerns about ADHD and was told he wanted to test me for Bipolar and suspected I had BPD tendencies. I was very caught off guard by this suggestion but also not surprised at all because I have noticed extreme patterns and waves in my life. I guess I’m just feeling isolated now. I started the day thinking I’d get some ADHD meds and move on and now I’m having a multitude of tests scheduled. People in my life aren’t taking in very seriously but personally I’m very frightened. I thought all my emotional issues stemmed from childhood but the idea that it’s a real disorder that can be treated with meds is actually really comforting. 

Can you guys tell me about your diagnosis process and what it was like? What the tests are like? How open can I be without risking hospitalization?",6.406363636363636,7.967585235668793,7.037510133178928,70.02843659525189,66.07006369426752,10.295078170237408,37.839606253618996,10.436869588844218,4.432928662420383,690,37,113,18,11,227,109,157,0.107,0.7909999999999999,0.102,-0.1743,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,0,0,7,7,0,1,6,0,14,4,0,1,2,27,28,11,0,1,6,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,0,2,7,8,0,1,5,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,7,1,15,5,16,19,3,18,0,0,0,0,9,8,0,2,9,76,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.14599039126801128,0.0,0.3595860973987401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196370092194773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119625276718657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18841902350106196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648119104842524,0.0,0.0,0.15184331734148934,0.0,0.0,0.17145734572433555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16828259781109126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564348365702528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15632219012265605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16480394296981504,0.14812992615849185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16888293379730088,0.0,0.15614606898629788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21133724115402708,0.14617638117272996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323491485480551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900370739708986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703233581108758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371548825793507,0.13062707143946925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17028031747771502,0.09583914744583008,0.0,0.14771435145132553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105889369952018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11248240910631203,0.0,0.1307591178122129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585919646130947,0.0,0.11876761866476765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14295153293431676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.370313017146677,0.08823938927808768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14421140394284282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,helpme15690,2019/10/18,"Abilify I saw my doctor Yesterday and was prescribed Abilify 10 mg, while told to come off of Lamictal 50 mg. Lamictal caused me to have severe nausea, vomiting, suicidal idealization, sometimes severe anxiety, dissociate every single day, and to go completely numb. I couldn’t feel anxious, love, angry. I started to doubt my love for my husband. I seemed to feel irritated and guilty at times. It was miserable. But I am so so very glad to be going back on to Abilify. Weight gain seems like a big deal until you’re in the throes of mental anguish.

Anyway, I take my second pill tonight. But as of now I feel completely nothing? I usually feel severe anxiety when I start abilify almost immediately after taking it. But I’m not feeling anything. It’s worrying me that it won’t work. But I’m also telling myself things take time. Also, I just stopped taking Lamictal last night as well, and still no side effects but I was on a low dose of 50 mg. I figured coming off would feel horrible or something because I had such a hard time going on it?",3.742575757575757,6.0682148737373796,5.5060606060606085,75.17909090909096,74.50505050505049,8.844444444444445,30.191919191919194,9.444778638647367,3.2747555555555565,827,38,141,22,18,282,127,198,0.204,0.722,0.073,-0.9573,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,4,12,11,0,3,4,0,10,8,0,2,0,31,35,19,1,3,8,1,8,1,0,2,5,0,0,0,7,6,1,1,10,0,0,5,4,5,1,1,6,9,20,6,23,25,1,34,0,2,1,2,6,10,0,5,20,91,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074982704223654,0.0,0.0,0.17689340543705162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16921724661411705,0.12494640972966793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101429670180157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850444987209421,0.0,0.06742067450671206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361656684509308,0.0,0.19054404703405706,0.23192378873906305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07132778793336876,0.11402364388736312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11320368755717194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318518867356247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3355358056134368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18856942148088307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09907578933100217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901536827702711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05403352614046083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19964146169196784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114586891618062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379051701370376,0.0,0.10612359012202843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201371996263488,0.0,0.3748392291890038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851452089905857,0.10938613240599683,0.0,0.15656636163508156,0.0,0.0883252256512484,0.09246647150317287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209783431306657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326294518459059,0.0,0.09666919038118707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347766130530821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19347507912312611,0.0,0.0,0.10568294726763068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12181016805954502,0.09125650318981786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13468088644439927,0.09944259559028938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805180468483196,0.11231957045857736,0.0,0.0785669980453201,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MangoMadness001,2019/10/18,"I am not depressed anymore! For years I have suffered from depression,anxitey, OCD, and my bipolar disorder. Over the years I have had my ups and downs, but my depression always seemed to linger around no matter what.  In recent years my anxitey has gotten way worse leading into a horrible depression that never seemed to end. I was put on disability for a short time but that only made things worse. Last year my town burned down and that made everything worse. My whole life changed causing my anxitey and depression to feed on each other. I felt like I was losing my mind.
 Recently my anxitey has stuck around but I noticed that my depression has gone away for the first time that I can even remember. I dont think about dying anymore. I dont hate myself anymore. I dont question my reason for living or if others even like me. I don't question my worth. I dont cry and pray for sanity anymore. For the first time in my life I feel like I can handle my anxitey and OCD, I feel like I can work on it and get better. 
I have been on medications since I was about 14 for bipolar disorder, which mostly seemed to manage the mania ( minus a few episodes through the years) but I have been suffering anyways. This year I tried something new, I smoked weed. I still take my medince but smoking has given me the chance to feel calm and collected. I am finally happy and doing better then ever. I have cleared the use of marijuana with my doctor, and now I am just living my life. 
(Smoking is legal where I am,I dont suggest breaking the law or using underage)",3.98239514348786,5.717747675496688,4.829420529801325,82.85033388520972,72.2450331125828,7.549889624724063,28.146247240618106,8.212053250817874,1.985257836644592,1226,47,229,19,24,397,153,302,0.184,0.684,0.132,-0.9706,0,0,2,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,7,12,17,1,0,11,0,29,8,0,7,3,50,48,19,1,1,10,0,4,4,0,0,7,0,0,0,12,15,1,0,12,0,1,3,9,9,0,2,13,4,47,8,32,35,4,44,1,8,0,0,3,17,0,9,26,167,59,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061718586818597036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2942421203550324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320609081236308,0.0,0.0,0.06968877562054625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120148886351668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619697814571183,0.07846610032844711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08147649350102122,0.0,0.0,0.31942915025592084,0.0,0.07698074784899668,0.0,0.1700193210571981,0.07592008055100244,0.0,0.0,0.4346560107087617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569601691825125,0.0,0.0,0.09798225940926426,0.06709449567934472,0.0,0.0,0.06666267543211153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11251358475867836,0.10597962939810633,0.0712185299462163,0.08125382929150353,0.0,0.12618448126184065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038752776264190034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895944472550331,0.0,0.0732313226032796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06046158924312245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15717355577555092,0.14495038971117288,0.0,0.13099374051170168,0.0,0.0,0.0829815674665111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14037018444769864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472235241855578,0.0,0.0,0.07489444594523383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05720744734571211,0.07163756848112822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844474221383067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05641255685801925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456520822892322,0.1661833794771441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762630735074462,0.14647546092622235,0.0,0.08402451500295244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025752672939972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06135737687697245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0571026550865009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059235334032220865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05576950566434321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04927781139798087,0.04752760936135028,0.0,0.0,0.1297541087980991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05035917661762016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12812478583987744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05887575121966208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281245687206397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05399944767211366,0.0,0.22676847615352916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865931728684279
bipolarreddit,lilbabyfairy,2019/10/18,"how do you tell if your psychosis is real or not? i'm seeing my psychiatrist again next week. i most likely have bipolar type ii. i have other problems like adhd, and my ocd symptoms have been getting progressively worse, but i'm starting therapy.

i'm not asking how to tell delusions from reality. in the back of my mind, i know none of this is real. i'm just asking how to tell if i'm making all of this up or if i'm actually experiencing this? i think i keep putting ideas into my own head.

last night, i watched creepy animal crossing theories on youtube. it talked about the japanese folklore creature kappa and said it's the size of a child. i've been afraid of the dark for years bc of my first psychotic episode, but this past 6 weeks, i've been sleeping with a nightlight. last night, at the corner by my door, i thought i saw an grotesque naked child standing there. it looked afraid, but i was scared too and had to turn the lights on right away and sleep with them on. i don't know if i actually saw this or if it was my eyes/shadows playing tricks on me?

also, sometimes i'll read what other people are delusional about, like thinking things are specifically for them. i heard a ringing noise this morning. now i think it was probably a leafblower, but i kept feeling like maybe it was for me because it made me feel weird, but what if i'm just making this up? my antidepressant made me hypomanic and very delusional again, and i read about different delusions. one of them was thought insertion, and i said ""that's silly"" but then started to think what if someone was controlling my mind?

sorry if i am wrote a lot. i hope this makes sense. i'm having more trouble thinking clearly lately. i've been experiencing things like this for the past 3 weeks, but i don't know if i am making them up or not since i'm easily influenced.",5.055755064456727,5.886953834254148,5.612941988950279,81.68563766114181,68.66850828729282,8.685267034990794,30.55294659300184,8.841846274778883,2.316601841620626,1456,56,290,24,24,470,182,362,0.057,0.87,0.07400000000000001,0.779,2,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,2,4,3,15,15,1,3,13,0,24,5,3,11,2,72,68,32,0,11,25,0,2,5,0,0,2,4,1,2,24,10,0,3,13,3,0,2,6,7,0,2,22,14,39,8,33,46,6,36,0,0,5,0,18,13,0,16,25,184,63,3,0.0,0.0,0.17759838889893748,0.0,0.10935978562320936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276965252822812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17013838356266187,0.0,0.08549395381876201,0.069970484270682,0.0,0.05547045741982837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020600098947389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09507169314671964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920208563831312,0.06500772513801982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740134704320756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04754177462263627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933883847436774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037978879032142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027236679565587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088163055193616,0.0,0.0,0.1500274453163639,0.14834814566713292,0.10264771134225127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222808087391074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641391550079553,0.0,0.0,0.07736174098052576,0.0,0.17220566669224815,0.2429627614015844,0.0,0.09141794410289324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18376050507151667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09677552329812772,0.17078759584398578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06166140068048988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17373239659847747,0.06308532862502153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810932689902548,0.08707110312766864,0.0,0.09147634482087873,0.0,0.0,0.18204171042791176,0.2071472634779365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771028351685963,0.17311650596407094,0.0,0.09110310099277724,0.0,0.07251221426068004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527302206775577,0.0,0.1821238934619889,0.0,0.07710081067459704,0.0,0.0899975985755302,0.10186282989643143,0.12881520038177055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945799251593442,0.0,0.07313932307271853,0.2386041484195658,0.0,0.10406211979584884,0.0,0.12090770412980367,0.2915335506811127,0.0,0.14448168502749878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897776838644404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750814199280856,0.0,0.0,0.21897506151634155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09273293274364312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0585985889114544
bipolarreddit,ReiraXIII,2019/10/18,What is the weirdest thing you've done when in (hypo)mania? I haven't done any superweird stuff but I'd like to hear your stories!,1.92448717948718,4.530831192307693,2.7669230769230784,90.66141025641028,83.23076923076924,6.5435897435897425,24.051282051282055,7.793537801064563,1.2909897435897433,105,4,22,2,3,33,24,26,0.057999999999999996,0.8,0.142,0.4753,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,2,1,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,14,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24175838219331405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7276184886784409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4006845987287307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17368379114867893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4069728701923449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361844523540784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MadiasHell,2019/10/18,"Am I not allowed to have feelings? I hate that everytime I feel something that isnt complete apathy it is blamed on my mental illness or worse my medication. What am I not allowed feelings and emotions that are real? Everything I feel, especially negative feelings MUST be because some med is making me feel bad so let's mess with medications that are working for me and have for years.

Do people in your life act like you arent supposed to feel emotions, and like if you do it's the fault of your disorder or some med you take?",5.270152565880722,6.335759233009712,6.072843273231622,77.73106796116505,68.32038834951456,8.992510402219137,34.13176144244105,9.23628265651192,3.130277115117892,423,20,78,8,7,139,65,103,0.245,0.6970000000000001,0.059000000000000004,-0.9717,3,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,5,0,1,1,6,1,0,1,0,15,4,0,3,1,23,25,7,0,2,5,0,7,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,7,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,0,7,14,2,8,22,2,4,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,5,3,57,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308377090976943,0.09552268629882177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642966603274652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17959143881783862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3525321559274319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14083159163153974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5546245573111932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15470851796228233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16023606603993162,0.11068163645687784,0.15311112221579984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045982704992215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3481160957290918,0.3157169361519196,0.15791644740992844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863584575655476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783585712760788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063508927733475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781867733784793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11407925219911826,0.0,0.1596903875696968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009094730151189
bipolarreddit,bonzai_dog,2019/10/18,"What if it's just me? These meds aren't working. What if my depression isnt a chemical imbalance and I'm just a lazy and weak person? I'm on meds, we've tried a thousand different meds, I've been in therapy for years and im still so depressed I can't work. I'm trying, but I can't get out of bed. The meds have pretty much killed my manic states, but they've also squashed my ""normal"" states. I'm just sad and tired and suicidal all the time. If the meds aren't touching it, maybe I just suck? Is this common for people with bipolar for medicine to simply not work?",1.4515454545454531,3.2424773666666686,3.0212121212121232,92.83227272727275,79.5,6.363636363636362,21.74242424242424,7.348242739294969,0.5965833333333332,444,13,100,6,11,146,75,120,0.265,0.7020000000000001,0.034,-0.9844,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,7,6,2,0,6,0,8,3,0,0,1,19,14,12,2,4,10,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,6,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,1,1,1,7,0,9,13,2,9,0,3,0,0,1,3,1,3,4,57,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10800147047273248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326411161373507,0.0,0.0,0.14110116378795548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07055938004013686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14587992242203038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14941563000044256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13567843252895273,0.0,0.7500646536495593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927915902775204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323228185404205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362842916028677,0.1179226720147108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373969892965361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10785313592219048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14772556298732384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15444435376548826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875022434555627,0.15522303205054164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18338362429813915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2949595810332936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869694103267739
bipolarreddit,Jayda_Blue,2019/10/18,"I Got Help...Thank You! I used to post on here, and have since deleted them. However, my last year of High School I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and started Latuda and group therapy.

I've looked back and realized how many times it was obvious I needed help but was let down. Told I was just a ""teenger"" and this is how they act. I finally got the nerve to get help myself as college was a huge goal I've mine. This was the hardest push I've ever had to give myself. I now know how destructive I was in my everyday life, towards myself and past relationships, no matter how hard I tried to mentally sort myself out it never worked.

After receiving help, I found what medication and methods worked for me with an amazing psychiatrist. I've finished a diploma in education, got an amazing job, and am partway through an honours psychology degree, have an AMAZING relationship, and am expecting my first child March 8th 2020 (a little boy). 

It's actually been an insanley long journey. And I'll always be Bipolar so I still have my episodes. However, my SO is very supportive, and most importantly I've learned so much about myself and matured as a person. 

I really sympathize with everyone here, and it saddens me as I wish I could help everyone. I just hope everyone knows how much this subreddit has supported me over the years, especially just knowing I'm not alone, as for a long time I really felt like I was just losing my mind by myself. So thank you for the support. I really wish everyone the best and feel free to message if anyone wants to (:",5.615237288135597,6.749131023728817,6.602500000000003,73.99730932203391,67.57627118644068,10.510169491525424,33.733050847457626,10.577609850970193,3.822657627118645,1232,56,222,34,20,411,168,295,0.055999999999999994,0.688,0.256,0.9972,3,1,1,0,0,0,39.0,0,2,2,7,21,14,1,0,16,0,21,5,0,6,3,53,46,29,0,8,7,0,3,1,0,0,5,0,0,3,8,18,0,0,8,0,1,4,3,2,0,1,16,4,38,13,28,27,4,35,0,1,1,0,18,10,0,4,21,154,46,7,0.0,0.0,0.09223684437905756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789310947817556,0.0,0.0,0.07864732425803088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06608983583680696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267922540079755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991917891417477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546567716305994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593472768981907,0.0,0.0,0.10832688629616027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854977864793312,0.0,0.3612675651455539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04779161265178153,0.0,0.0907529985144219,0.10354087137928457,0.0,0.08039775637848112,0.0,0.1036351317390837,0.0,0.0,0.04938224152323449,0.09067117347821467,0.0,0.0,0.2267862762824972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08467039882471154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3167702430810982,0.09986444247915163,0.0,0.093878627676164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379545678785932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15583540157121112,0.0770455459120607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966520131511278,0.06676151784550557,0.04617717647379574,0.09473280217958832,0.0,0.16729256326317504,0.07937209876889258,0.10574250935395473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09582736303123723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09521788140188334,0.09525285367427944,0.0,0.09543717831215023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389645829241486,0.07008459139560523,0.07289882826702612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902290168734202,0.0,0.08253028679082934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09052301065335444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18165374689942768,0.0,0.0,0.2029559232780132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956582066228563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818703835602746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06690098747478879,0.0,0.07548294222707455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217768962204934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17404066952371638,0.10809063763327842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102295002146852,0.0,0.0,0.09031689128638848,0.0,0.064172151323789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163401089413233,0.0,0.07798801879454363,0.05574971576043315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21738421728280444,0.0,0.0,0.13762181831239256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173418823824753
bipolarreddit,not-your-lover,2019/10/18,"I start a motherfucking job that I might actually like on Monday And I’m mildly terrified? It’s a decent paying job ($6 above local minimum wage), it’s part time to start which is great for me as I’m sure most can relate to being burnt out and it’s working with a population I love. I just restarted Lamictal last week after I went off the deep end and I’m really trying to keep myself level going into this whole thing so please send me all of your positive vibes as new changes often cause me to dip into the pit of despair. I’ve never been excited to start a job yet here we are",3.1840072859744986,4.282848803278688,5.365519125683061,80.73840619307833,73.2622950819672,8.373041894353369,23.39162112932605,8.841846274778883,1.5751774134790528,462,12,94,9,9,162,89,122,0.096,0.7490000000000001,0.155,0.8203,4,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,1,0,1,5,6,0,0,6,0,6,1,0,1,3,17,16,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,8,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,1,0,0,2,0,11,5,17,12,4,23,0,1,0,1,4,8,0,3,13,60,18,6,0.0,0.0,0.17202551215942924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810898669296017,0.1864826665407982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561332647441808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018495363011368,0.0,0.0,0.19435119872606765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5247971654098337,0.15668727634577995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436931150924581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08612233523878741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15910111850466915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18700702819981235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13595931596403107,0.17025396622159644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19089590468256687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19350437233665124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11293057221845035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3743192878658961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661434178771597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11711372978043187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279127802541424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968370418745235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414025481538459,0.0,0.0,0.16341490379602247,0.0,0.19681222484174604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833517852263251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,vixin022,2019/10/18,"Why dose cocaine help me so much? What else can I do? I’m trying to figure what else I can do other than resort to doing cocaine when I’m low. When I’m low it makes me feel like I’m on a manic high and I feel a million times better. This type of usage is not healthy of course but it works. I don’t want to continue like this. Is there anything else that any of you know about that may help me move away from cocaine and is just as effective? 
I take all my meds religiously and follow directions from my dr. I need to find a better alternative. Please share your thoughts, trials and experiences. 
I need the help!!!",1.2561901877649928,3.3936356850393707,2.9003149606299203,91.66883706844338,81.91338582677166,5.797456087219867,20.005451241671715,7.010146845296331,0.2966831011508177,480,13,105,6,13,158,79,127,0.035,0.725,0.24,0.9814,0,0,3,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,4,6,7,0,0,4,0,10,2,0,2,1,20,24,9,0,3,3,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,7,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,1,2,14,5,14,22,2,11,0,2,0,0,6,5,0,1,6,65,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209425251714062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14635349201468995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16709375543233534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145836513456439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4457067623358722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17396916325281034,0.0,0.0,0.17985026758445027,0.1270544224501753,0.0,0.0,0.1625495630677263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3576226652741115,0.18790584482796108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774043713458934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737747919413839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11871471144867055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19754868631133102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890239445604271,0.1307385126641986,0.2637436114133009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952233526257497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13371932649240828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14119119694484486,0.10370441594929286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12074690459961973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489917310728357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604798742226435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12947523360053295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SlippSlopp,2019/10/18,"I feel like I’m starving for stimulus I’m pretty hypomanic right now. I feel like I am absolutely starving for stimulus and I’m so so bored. Currently I’m writing a paper, drinking and smoking to “focus” or to add another feeling/stimulus, and listening to loud edm, fidgeting, getting way too distracted, and I feel like it’s not enough, I need to do more, but idk what else I could do",2.9005451127819555,5.070822250000003,5.412706766917295,75.59394736842106,76.5,9.606015037593986,33.22556390977444,9.957137785484203,3.9780774436090223,305,17,56,10,7,108,48,76,0.135,0.762,0.10400000000000001,-0.2987,1,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,14,14,8,0,2,3,0,3,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,5,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,6,3,6,13,2,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,5,32,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564275234049298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952498689477014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395617188250236,0.0,0.0,0.20428658051369705,0.0,0.0,0.2526811134028739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3709490111735436,0.5241105615924376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277650522491425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35841807801190023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18132756240532846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24879092625758786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20884071982243324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941090202029907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wocket-in-my-pocket,2019/10/18,"Too Tired to Keep Fighting Flaired because I'm pretty sure that deliberately refusing treatment qualifies as some form of self-harm. 

I'm not actively suicidal. I don't want to be dead. But I want to throw in the towel anyway. I'm done with people telling me that I'm strong. That I can keep fighting. That there's hope for me. On some level I'm sure that I can keep fighting, that there is hope for me.

On another level, I'm so tired. I'm so tired of fighting this illness (and, to be honest, we're not even sure it's bipolar disorder anymore, but this is the community where I feel most comfortable). I'm tired of having people around me tell me that they want me around without caring about how much pain I'm in to be there. I'm sick of waking up and having *every single day* be a struggle to survive. I'm sick of having even good times be tainted by the cloud of bad times to come. 

My hopes keep getting dashed. And when I try to express these things to people, they say things like ""try out antidepressants"" or ""make sure to do your therapy homework."" And...logically I know that's the answer. I know if I just keep seeking treatment, if I just *keep fighting,* then I'll someday find peace. 

But right now it's too much. I don't want to get on the medication merry-go-round, spending forever wondering if this or that or this other medication will work--and worrying that even if it works, the side effects will be too awful to bear (looking at you, Abilify). I don't want to do my therapy homework when my therapist looked me dead in the eye and said that it's unlikely, because of the years of damage from whatever disorder I have, that any time remotely soon I will feel better. 

I want to lie down and just stop. Being numb to everything, being self-destructive, it hurts. But it still hurts less than having to wake up every morning and start the struggle over again and again. People keep telling me that I can get better, if I only try. At this point? I'm not even sure I want to get better. 

Thanks for letting me vent.",4.124528963805936,5.2976865012406975,5.055461624026698,83.56870967741938,71.08436724565756,8.139265850945495,28.04047231967143,8.53829466247534,1.942945135620776,1592,57,319,26,29,520,182,403,0.22,0.6609999999999999,0.11900000000000001,-0.991,1,0,0,0,10,1,64.0,0,2,2,7,28,31,5,2,10,1,28,15,3,3,5,68,74,26,3,15,19,0,2,1,0,3,12,2,2,0,28,12,0,9,8,0,1,2,7,13,0,0,2,7,34,18,50,60,8,38,0,3,3,0,16,21,0,15,16,206,62,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04583080346892237,0.07066936785683932,0.0,0.0,0.06683757349831583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199913954170436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05627187779073347,0.08216654000929148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17881578227664066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871353281185093,0.0,0.0,0.05805468863485451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043464097503340286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15448065495970226,0.0,0.0,0.06896832211656441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17805462948393252,0.0,0.1135661218081908,0.0,0.060570138135383686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815371397127745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06159766441421614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084409281424842,0.0,0.03830204169072651,0.056527595747257964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008148538094632,0.0,0.0,0.14429514400894616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41932542377690657,0.0,0.0,0.0740768850151476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891579184663232,0.0,0.03292571544223629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318938651871245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04498658020876338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357864255658899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908592649674106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051256814091420015,0.07171286332936701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868923899161592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06370990940746589,0.0,0.0,0.06856478295965658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05755482662956185,0.06410792778355998,0.05359508320371968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406150364629108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04770241588178342,0.0,0.05382160769231471,0.05634510545817131,0.0,0.1409114432069229,0.0,0.07371901826726772,0.0,0.3175942038993957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767181867558488,0.062048115516179524,0.1541437501577349,0.07825060574805873,0.08954827642418085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11789542262728725,0.3098418257161482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13727002093786894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782585666987804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06496622247251599,0.07308683102446101,0.09812849494962876,0.06844273323750526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043400068471041095
bipolarreddit,triomicron,2019/10/18,How do you feel about students observing your support group? Had two students sit in on mine tonight. I made everyone uncomfortable when I said it seems like a man going into a women's locker room. It seemed like I was the only one that felt this way.,3.9194897959183663,5.78329967346939,4.599744897959184,83.90329081632655,72.6734693877551,7.348979591836735,26.535714285714285,8.07648339933343,1.6748326530612243,200,7,38,3,4,64,43,49,0.053,0.7909999999999999,0.156,0.6249,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,2,0,7,11,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,1,2,4,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,3,6,3,4,6,0,9,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,2,4,24,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714304383629025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362870762468438,0.0,0.2727410766542824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16143721088315965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775536463694128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687833859062934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19248565245237373,0.2160395827588199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702050491314327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5171930820721206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32234665724278744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774842559589235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254727216162292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,krassteen,2019/10/18,Tardive dyskinesia  Was on so many meds not sure which caused my tardive dyskinesia they took me off all of them now I am only on lamotrigin. They said if it last past six months it won't go away. It's been a year and it's still bad . Its mouth movements I end up bitng through my tongue or lips alot l. I saw on line that they have meds to help it but meds caused it. Does anyone know if there is anything other than meds to stop it?,0.10714426877470372,2.3275591413043486,1.6522529644268786,98.11330039525691,88.02173913043478,4.649802371541502,17.059288537549406,6.1124844417494595,-0.5968173913043482,339,8,81,3,11,109,70,92,0.073,0.9059999999999999,0.021,-0.5692,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,4,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,6,2,2,2,2,13,11,6,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,11,1,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,5,2,10,1,11,5,2,17,0,0,1,0,6,6,0,4,8,52,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11353217954412248,0.0,0.1336158516488782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15255101965766482,0.0,0.13557133221761047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3335953776617672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420902054306139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14381073966481994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227804406984527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883251760685896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923375567260776,0.132352405491852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16461668041915745,0.0,0.0,0.7214214187921437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12960138611216301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12348894055830698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15499958222104912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15445010041514567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12966809254306189,0.1357477537770021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15303086023663076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18039793249900635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456031204139886
bipolarreddit,uke6251,2019/10/18,"Am Unsure if I have this???     I have been in and out of psychiatric wards since I was 21, and I am 25 now. They docs believe I may have this. The first time I was admitted I had a break down because of a break up and thought my Dad had molested me as a child and thought that I knew that my recently ex girlfriend had been molested by her mother even though I had no evidence. This culmulated to my screaming and having epiphanies in my apartment and having the cops called on me. They thought I was on drugs at first. 

     This episode was also preceded by a change of personality, I was usually introverted and very shy but I became extroverted and not afraid of people anymore. I saw a college friend at the grocery store and he straight thought I was drunk. They kept me in the hospital for weeks on end. The first hospitalization they couldn't really properly diagnosis me. The 2nd one I had a better stay and was put on meds for OCD (which I also have) and the 3rd time was voluntary; I was on the verge on hypomania and caught it in time to get mood stabilizers. 

Does this sound like bipolar? 

Thank you so much",4.741483180428133,5.763693362385325,5.6128623853211055,80.70660244648322,69.50458715596329,9.483058103975537,30.58837920489297,9.725611199111238,2.727542140672784,875,35,179,20,15,287,122,218,0.063,0.847,0.09,0.8629,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,4,4,6,9,2,1,14,0,26,3,0,0,0,25,37,19,0,2,3,3,0,1,2,1,2,2,0,2,9,13,1,1,6,1,1,2,3,4,0,4,24,3,31,4,26,11,1,35,0,0,1,0,16,18,0,2,13,133,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24039506542552336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14906053303067754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162352558609944,0.0,0.0,0.1693404026284494,0.0,0.13293109661401895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15347652274487147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900101216894882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13153147229564713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17430416497451673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331241535101922,0.0,0.0,0.09927394349573283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38354385186718537,0.0,0.0,0.1161239934543597,0.0,0.0785272955399971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343062348545347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669531356362248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049025455580708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184943816425218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042014162175632,0.1312390855885896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15109637832592746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962881731617871,0.0,0.1484064229501361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124332482264744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16020336996507772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837912850956255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14767227581168593,0.4772962755525355,0.2629292719482592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655379026019637,0.12401600274820508,0.0,0.0,0.12056427922651575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,basicomplicate,2019/07/08,"Anyone here thought they were schizophrenic but turnt out to be bipolar? Just like the title said.
I’m confused as fuck. Have had psychotic episodes, trough depression and social anxiety. 

I’ve always had huge mood swings, sometimes in one day. Something shitty happend, cried like crazy super down, one hour later at a party being the happiest ever like nothing happened. I’ve had a time where I was hypomania, after that the psychotic symptoms came and I got so confused with myself that I became delusional. 

Anyone here with the same sort of experience?",6.4344587628866,8.976050216494848,6.169677835051547,72.42503221649486,67.45360824742268,8.561340206185568,32.74355670103093,9.188382445141503,3.4306505154639177,449,20,65,9,8,140,75,97,0.225,0.565,0.209,-0.2755,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,6,9,1,2,6,0,8,4,0,0,1,14,15,5,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,2,9,1,5,4,10,4,1,13,0,1,0,1,3,6,1,3,9,43,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17581743844929912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16164292095649754,0.0,0.0,0.2954899166369432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.241669412924205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321016912341893,0.1362701759733453,0.0,0.18199125371778527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19113176390544756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20669066572209946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19534223584335492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689948664183667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18685073542593406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20808664864506768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30968960326510964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20274679363898476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2863629241743621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20099344291413976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21539240692425896,0.0,0.16266805614767066,0.20897980918647605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21962024571225608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16774755907874148,0.1232099664682073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,scarflin,2019/07/08,"Is my ex husband experiencing mania 

I picked up my ex husband for our daughters doctors appt and a couple things he did and said scared me, but I don’t know if I am overreacting because we have a new custody agreement and I am very protective of our child. The child is in his custody right now.

He is being treated for bipolar with psychotic features with seroquel, klonopin and Adderall. This has been under control as far as I know/knew but he has a severe personality disorder that really is never under control.

He told me that he did not sleep the night before and appeared drunk. (He does not drink or do drugs) his speech was somewhat slurred. When I asked him to run and go put more money in the meter he asked where the car was (we had just parked and had only been inside 5 min). During the doctors visit he seemed lucid and with it. After the doctors appt we went to the grocery store and separated inside, we were inside a long time because the baby and I decided to eat. Several times I saw him wandering around with his already purchased items, aimlessly walking. When he finally did sit down he seemed very out of it. 

When we get into the car he starts ranting about how left wing people are obsessed with racism and sexism. That people are obsessed with porn. That a woman should never become president as they are too emotional. That AOC is a waitress what is she thinking she is doing. On and on this even evolved into him continuing the rant after I dropped him off by sending me antifa fights on YouTube and going on about 9 month abortion. 

I saw that he had contacted his psychiatrist today when he showed me his phone for another reason. 

I am nervous and I can not confront him nor talk to him about anything because of his personality disorder, he will just feel attacked and it won’t be pleasant for anyone. So I pretend it’s all good. Inside that is not the case.",5.3997783933517995,6.630592268698063,5.927472576177287,78.28477119113575,68.14127423822714,8.102869806094184,31.891523545706374,8.364918446050245,2.5099220166204987,1503,63,267,21,25,486,201,361,0.10800000000000001,0.848,0.043,-0.9731,2,0,2,0,1,0,30.0,7,0,1,2,16,11,3,4,17,0,37,10,1,5,3,57,54,29,0,2,10,5,1,0,0,3,5,2,0,5,15,30,3,3,7,4,3,11,9,7,0,0,16,6,41,4,41,33,4,53,0,0,2,1,56,20,0,6,20,193,56,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210412184611595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602531314724145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736847953595742,0.0,0.0910548474052521,0.09850122939008,0.2068840939407948,0.1258794163419522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20235213977255245,0.12220332629559134,0.09415430267554843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482049286295837,0.0,0.12243121333958475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536270934699717,0.3397623737071439,0.09682984326788216,0.0,0.0,0.1083940720391109,0.12831792027298766,0.1132217349698415,0.0,0.12446543478231804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730827399823344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055947550158393713,0.0,0.0,0.12121076844893565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05780962979185185,0.0,0.12576895806816396,0.09280728265919444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161979145286635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12022065807123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792104257381487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831912000204081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17067893819253818,0.1068656677614428,0.0,0.1038367600615426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415368760527818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534204190759584,0.19322919247188952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123298763628577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088469818728771,0.11376578586779085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09449379533658628,0.10525270880272104,0.0,0.11077913231229104,0.0,0.0,0.20146171597126614,0.0,0.25000415723794345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107290897411648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831805927252568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893561974961146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351039869890244,0.07089952687106763,0.0,0.0,0.1290408536144235,0.0,0.10488248498567407,0.10573003347287237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18259432361292505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257289861667064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,geephillikers,2019/07/08,"I feel like death And I don’t understand it. Im exhausted, can’t get out of bed in the morning, and I can feel myself on the verge of going into a complete tailspin. I’ve been taking my meds like I’m supposed too and I’ve been sleeping well plus I’ve been working out a lot.  I was seeing a doctor out of state and about a month ago he told me he wanted me to start seeing someone in my city and I just haven’t found one so I dont really know what to do.  Plus I start a new job in 2 weeks so this a terrible time for this to happen.",-0.3120523415977949,1.3341637933884307,2.4829958677685937,95.22025137741049,84.6198347107438,5.355647382920111,18.34779614325069,6.42735559955562,-0.20700055096418746,413,10,101,4,12,145,74,121,0.095,0.84,0.065,-0.6455,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,8,0,10,3,1,0,0,19,26,9,1,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,4,11,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,2,1,1,6,4,12,3,18,20,1,18,0,0,2,0,3,9,0,1,9,64,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16836835189596755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19914611326551104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19440933167660845,0.0,0.0,0.22260562406633375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19207646302727996,0.13569156389908793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082569351116818,0.0,0.0,0.09923463304379808,0.0,0.10794599833222077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679613217629241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051653594713166,0.0,0.18848390531521966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438481805837067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855879774197696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614782796554793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21097801772548894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15160649697481715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18344305894140045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12870673251186493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216789839056768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3027115849363232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19007491705624166,0.0,0.1609336360580459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688778288528996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14280954716395694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075422729908803,0.0,0.0,0.181493656180926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19773189239959704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203020387763618,0.0,0.15235660320352531,0.0,0.17077684451870673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13827694144488095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,starlady666,2019/07/08,my meds are too effective and i miss my manic episodes. exactly what it sounds like. i don’t have major depressive or manic episodes and i miss it. i guess this is what feeling normal is like? it’s nice to not be a ticking time bomb of bad decisions but i miss being super jazzed about literally everything. what a thing to complain about lol.,1.9489925373134327,4.624585298507466,3.3508768656716437,85.95527052238809,84.07462686567162,6.932089552238806,24.792910447761198,8.07648339933343,1.849628358208956,273,11,52,6,8,89,48,67,0.184,0.5820000000000001,0.235,0.705,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,3,10,0,0,2,1,7,0,0,1,1,11,12,4,0,1,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,8,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,2,7,4,5,10,1,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,35,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3019619364721826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31148788535568184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250269392424634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828606779844048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3983973144680085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35336701688341243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4017106807678916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3543393843341503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24026362739617665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21088052928873127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Spiderpig-III,2019/07/08,"Length of depressive episodes? I have had depression for a couple of years now. This was interrupted by my first manic episode in March/April this year at age 40.

Since the manic episode ended in April, I have been really depressed. I’ve lost my job and been suicidal.

I was put on lithium and risperidone during the episode, which I am still on. My doctor added a ssri 3 weeks ago.

Anyone keen to share how long their depressive episode/s last for?

I know everyone is different but I am desperate for answers at the moment.

Thanks

Can anyone",2.395135746606336,5.2735209117647095,3.0876470588235283,86.90056561085974,84.98039215686273,6.667873303167423,24.512820512820515,7.882392219407189,1.773249472096531,431,17,79,9,13,135,72,102,0.17,0.76,0.069,-0.8170000000000001,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,2,3,8,0,0,5,0,11,1,0,1,0,6,14,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,5,0,1,6,0,10,3,13,8,0,20,0,5,0,0,2,6,0,0,13,49,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15816495312071954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495209032267139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197426310552205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.614716366959054,0.0,0.0,0.1864184547804031,0.0,0.18262780673805265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580335451981789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704948423994858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15177009092968208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770614709503839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805892656666468,0.14544198788027618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15790246321542525,0.0,0.0,0.19477437352840346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17936862472987242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430503754713707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475968292567048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424921978109991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19517040429976065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642717995433208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14312354270835378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298025423892918
bipolarreddit,imsocool123,2019/07/08,"Too real Last night, I was driving my friend home from a party. She drunkly told me “imsocool123, you’re too real. But I’d rather someone be too real than fake. I prefer it.”

This was one of the kindest, most tactful ways anyone has ever given me that criticism. I’ve been told I’m too brash, too bold, sensitive, intense, dramatic, etc. You all know what I’m talking about lol This however, too real, was somehow gentle and inoffensive. I felt so validated. She took something I’m often chastised about, poured some acceptance over it, and made it into a virtue. Fucking excellent 👌

My wife followed up with “You have low tolerance for bullshit.” She also managed to turn this trait I have that most don’t like into something not so terrible. 

Anyone else “too real” here??

Guys, I feel seen and it makes me want to cry lol Anyway, happy Monday.",2.3051539225422037,5.070537761006289,3.7780867262495854,82.88067527308841,83.33962264150944,6.114664018536907,24.720622310493216,7.475848149327749,1.6392314465408804,660,26,114,11,19,217,110,159,0.099,0.662,0.239,0.9717,2,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,0,1,18,10,1,0,3,2,9,2,0,2,2,29,26,7,0,3,3,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,10,6,1,0,5,1,0,3,2,4,0,1,11,3,15,6,13,14,5,13,0,1,1,1,11,5,1,5,5,77,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288370888536796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799142526413572,0.13182013956806332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413192124809495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747302220017796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348203492063688,0.0,0.11637394889966172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06505079157710557,0.0,0.1235269969727411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939694158045097,0.118937569075259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12738663645580486,0.0,0.13695344592120093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904938759679568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07070429074242954,0.10486931641305376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06285332751382129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173452163663474,0.08587683582908807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12073206811883863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717856107138429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7321760518162929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10900721777109,0.19808663580482747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340635912982382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458667931450918,0.14293814905134966,0.0,0.13993745407598465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07588283674038414,0.10211871472454397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,spoopygorl,2019/09/26,And I’m down again This week I’ve felt like a complete slug. I have no drive no energy. I can barely get myself to complete a day work and I work from home ha. My apartment is messy and I don’t care which manic me is rolling over in her grave about haha. It’s been about 4 weeks since I’ve felt this low. Feels like somebody flipped my switch off. Had a good run while it lasted. Just trying to pick myself up and carry on but boy can it be hard. On top of this my S/O who I love very much and who loves me as well hasnt wanted to sleep with me in about 4-5 months... whenever I bring up the topic he gets frustrated and shuts down. It hurts my feelings to know it’s something we can’t  even discuss... I know he’s not cheating on me. I’m worried he’s not attracted to me anymore even though he says it’s not true (I’ve gained about 15lbs from meds since my diagnosis in the last year). Anyways not knowing why or what I did or can do to help the situation really hurts. I guess to him it’s not a priority. Bleh. I’m full of sadness right now. I’m going to have dinner with a friend tonight. First time I’ll be leaving my house all week. Thanks for reading my sad little rant. Cheers,0.2666928104575135,2.256947015686276,2.0682352941176494,97.05594771241829,84.72549019607844,5.032679738562091,18.8562091503268,6.238725200709706,-0.276477124183006,919,24,219,8,27,302,153,255,0.16,0.67,0.17,0.5645,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,1,0,0,5,12,22,2,0,8,2,16,4,1,1,2,30,37,12,1,1,9,0,5,2,1,0,0,1,1,1,14,9,1,0,7,1,0,4,10,8,1,1,5,6,26,14,32,30,3,37,0,6,0,2,16,19,0,3,16,125,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12421597087587068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277023946829867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626479232999249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077694606547862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545505404117808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266619852671932,0.08947979672568042,0.2405224331838657,0.0,0.0,0.10653898109825508,0.0,0.0,0.09676910645387199,0.0,0.13087762478012427,0.0,0.07118339350337959,0.1050551332058953,0.0,0.0,0.13797880258307868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11220086761503337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08395353417882125,0.0,0.1256376074313478,0.0,0.0,0.14452357608732205,0.2681689425214765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20650507738395066,0.2041936076173088,0.0,0.1326234019742194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12238324931239722,0.12553504818322608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260889907113059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912633620836798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09997466417063168,0.0,0.09207436712403982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528553498911818,0.0,0.0802394079101662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696421629614652,0.0,0.0996051314533563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072189020381896,0.14078809132893552,0.12534209535304347,0.0,0.0,0.09642483180315856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531488213070196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12305910047713815,0.0,0.07303523859893264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503764190550768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334572050901324,0.07387666249880108,0.0,0.3014079319169428,0.0,0.1126162665819914,0.0,0.11302012355875372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18236937148927546,0.12719912039758846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065794969868971
bipolarreddit,Archer896,2019/09/26,"So much confusion, so many mood swings, no diagnosis, just need some confirmation I'm not slowly going mad. (22F). Long one, very sorry, but please help if you can.

     So, this all started when I was 16 (5yrs ago), when I pretty much stopped eating, starting exercising and started feeling pretty fucking good about myself. Then 3years later I'm severely underweight, tired and cold all the time. I was diagnosed with anorexia, I was given help, I'm now over that whole part. 
     
     So, turn the clock to when I was 20. By this time I was so depressed I spent every day for three months in bed, binge eating, not walking or petting my dog, getting irritated by my parents and just being a shitty human being and feeling emotionally numb. I wasn't working because of my previous problem, and so I didn't have anything to do. Role on three suicide attempts in the space of three months (none of them planned out, literally just decided I was ok one moment and the next I wanted to die) all requiring hospitalisation, and a weekend stay on a psychiatric ward. 

     Turned the tables and went back to work, without planning or fore thinking. Things started to turn around, I lost excess weight, I was excelling at my job, I had confidence in heaps, I was always joking and laughing with my co workers, in all I just felt amazing to the point where I thought I was indestructible. 

     Lately, this past year, I have been wrecked with anxiety. To the point where I'm having panic attacks when I feel I have too much energy, or haven't done enough things in a day, I can't eat because my stomach feels tight and really, who needs food?? and I workout everyday until I exhaust myself, then have a depressive episode where I can't leave the house if I wanted to, I eat all day, feel numb, and honestly, I would probably try and end it if it wasn't for my mum and dad. I snap at people without reason, mainly people who love me, then I go back to work and leave the house and I'm back to being fine again, either having lots of energy and wanting to move on and do stuff (all of the stuff all at the same time without thinking much of it through properly) or just being mentally stable and feeling like I'm where I'm supposed to be at the moment. 

     This is affecting my relationships with people, plans I'm making, and just my way of life. I'm sorry this post is so long, I'm just super confused and the conversation I had with a co worker (a pharmacist) asked me about bipolar... I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and a therapy session for Monday, but if anyone can shed any light or give some advice, I'd love them forever. 
(Obviously not looking for a diagnosis, more just wondering what people thought/ felt/ where told before they were diagnosed). 
 Thank you in advance!!",6.208721374045801,6.674777305343515,6.717242366412215,76.06895515267179,66.02290076335878,9.527099236641222,32.787213740458014,9.435801123606538,2.972995419847328,2164,86,394,39,32,707,262,524,0.12,0.713,0.16699999999999998,0.9806,2,0,0,0,0,1,82.0,0,2,3,14,33,27,3,3,23,1,39,20,1,3,8,96,90,48,2,11,26,3,10,1,0,1,10,0,2,1,16,29,6,3,15,4,1,6,14,13,0,5,26,13,50,13,53,58,22,75,0,3,1,3,21,24,1,15,43,278,66,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06751828817461647,0.061248053115771625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05749211003607446,0.0,0.0,0.046986589297835064,0.0,0.05285705832225137,0.0,0.0,0.048312439743400576,0.0,0.05685883779797275,0.06150870145182862,0.06459397536523519,0.07860490154945554,0.0,0.1593880807834083,0.0,0.08423865996716921,0.0,0.05879428033066414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368059540841346,0.0,0.119021881749953,0.1402588065813496,0.07170912125713548,0.0,0.0,0.07072108824874561,0.0,0.07070760232360385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828034507686825,0.0,0.07772194638078954,0.061197166498598826,0.07139302776538084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05821504664616825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20961735285714594,0.049361082528078734,0.13268299782397405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354927244170005,0.0,0.0,0.06387669742462762,0.0360989937072385,0.06628168385750538,0.07853592631912193,0.0579531390317323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262509484300936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15945141646599156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856557134530658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794153910363408,0.1463220733518988,0.0,0.0,0.048803447114823116,0.033756053826784864,0.0,0.0,0.12229281219775626,0.058021928644945285,0.0,0.07542474448402961,0.058741622983238886,0.12472086144098167,0.0,0.04612107596186075,0.07005091847477793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963094544354541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030104737435588,0.07343645618387798,0.20316945726927332,0.10246530516740396,0.0,0.0,0.07348272196996307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364036293608112,0.0,0.0,0.08106743940270893,0.07672120006653234,0.07482254650795105,0.06595846222961348,0.1916055426310836,0.0,0.0,0.0758449476573458,0.13063316027443253,0.0,0.06617337510688373,0.14058777299879327,0.07449549375178405,0.06611404872529619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044263668233403324,0.07104059311445847,0.0,0.07418157186944054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780570514930717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546911399340978,0.195621604152914,0.07364548090545328,0.0,0.0577660466044749,0.0,0.0,0.1581932087202533,0.07557810408260675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636128782346199,0.0790155150389281,0.0,0.09180655297752137,0.08854585589218214,0.0,0.10970653662001813,0.12086857274582465,0.0794138958423892,0.0,0.06602269944896443,0.0,0.04691059002916003,0.2254647328480788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05701015006335074,0.1222610746093403,0.05484395126424738,0.0,0.08413841510987252,0.0,0.06405123912795414,0.0,0.07714147598421306,0.0,0.1998137267406496,0.07492997400220716,0.15090472809644484,0.0,0.0,0.04908270854159191,0.0,0.0,0.04449455471862965
bipolarreddit,Mynameisnot_rick_,2019/09/26,"Lamotrigine questions! So, I've been on lamotrigine for a few weeks and things I've noticed are

1) it's definitely been helping my moods but certainly not perfect. I still have moments.

2) I've been getting daily headaches that make me feel almost nauseous. Happens at about the same time every day several hours (5 or 6) before I take my next dose. And they last for several hours. 

3) my chronic joint pain that still doesn't have a diagnosis seems to be greatly reduced but not completely. 

So my questions are-

Are my meds causing the headaches or is that just a random coincidence?

Is joint pain associated with bipolar? Or is it just an added bonus that the meds help that? Google says lamotrigine helps joint/muscle pains associated with multiple sclerosis but I haven't found any other information about it.",4.039932432432433,7.022884682432437,4.760743243243244,77.40570945945947,77.17567567567569,7.754054054054055,30.19594594594595,8.660442795831766,2.874843243243244,655,31,112,15,16,210,96,148,0.10300000000000001,0.778,0.11900000000000001,-0.2912,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,2,8,8,0,0,7,0,14,6,0,2,2,27,21,10,0,0,10,0,1,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,10,4,0,0,6,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,4,2,10,4,9,16,2,12,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,8,10,68,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13898265689349426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438502895171384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11810390867124723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425801985336395,0.0,0.0,0.1455234071989459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951097931317469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694036415997384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017867656092718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218102062507236,0.0,0.0,0.07251440500582218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15302144161597953,0.0,0.0,0.12273553030880167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27909311111081725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2733692764271441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11313605352509523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264641581773618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083388320269056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14760954017373776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15801847405429484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4430614457463549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3109632404782686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037496829578357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12635331274139555,0.0,0.31359658894834697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22168295625502604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435620129894203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220890779935433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093219723932751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133258713352248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,carlosmainman,2019/09/26,"Returning to University with Bipolar Type 1, any tips for success? Hello, so I have Bipolar Type 1 with psychotic features, but my Bipolar Presents itself with about 90% mania to 10% depression. I was diagnosed about a year ago and neglected my condition for quite a while. I took a break from my university after a couple of severe manic episodes and had to be hospitalized and couldn't continue classes. I'm planning on returning in the spring. Im currently on 300mg of Quetiapine but only take it as needed when I feel the mania come on. I've been at home working steadily and seem to do well, but then again it's a manual labor job with virtually as little stress as possible. I'm on a premed track with a french minor and the with all of my extra curriculars it is a good amount of stress. I usually crack if I get behind on school work and begin to neglect my sleep.

I was wondering if anyone else is in a similar situation and if you guys had any tips so I don't fall into severe mania. I would really hate to see my dreams of becoming a doctor dashed over something I feel I have a relatively good grasp on most of the time. Thank you!",6.185670524166099,6.120744973451327,7.584690265486728,71.64802246426142,66.07964601769912,11.201633764465623,32.8713410483322,10.891193690592663,3.635468754254595,908,35,170,24,13,314,134,226,0.14,0.7759999999999999,0.084,-0.9456,2,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,5,7,11,1,2,15,0,14,6,1,0,1,33,29,21,0,6,6,0,2,0,0,1,5,0,1,1,4,15,0,2,5,1,0,3,2,6,1,0,6,3,19,5,39,20,4,32,0,3,1,0,4,12,0,6,16,114,23,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12540016215109046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19240206397215132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891559763190512,0.14494758134908112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15623694721203935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121859547194943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15652830078760885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12184357307455933,0.14358396874406584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14479539320427182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11817583169943813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430578807584426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390960910744815,0.0,0.0,0.2373082134711169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400725633500774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13966737224530962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14190090124337482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15280644524801598,0.0,0.14038215628554487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14178506610422456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489448422601952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759048584554463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15948050040330802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15046541096689028,0.0,0.0,0.09062608346715803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14317010409680034,0.112729267135321,0.1287843974365905,0.0,0.319630303865011,0.0,0.0,0.15901255565398342,0.14156713628957626,0.0,0.0,0.10890664678237932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32409529488259564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636405339495936,0.0,0.0,0.1302419397795484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248936279192146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15717278903964352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15580368061378436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12719399906895618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534127276191609,0.2059763688802872,0.0,0.0,0.10049265726530346,0.0,0.0,0.09109880384295756
bipolarreddit,fuckasaurous-rex,2019/09/26,Lamictal nausea? I’ve been taking lamictal at 200mg for around 2 months now. I’ve never had any issues like this in the last but  I woke up this morning feeling super nauseous. I was just wondering if any one had any experience with this. I’m not sure that’s it’s the lamictal because it’s never done this before. Any information or advice is appreciated.,2.813714285714287,5.2638592285714285,5.167142857142856,75.82785714285714,78.14285714285714,8.0,25.714285714285715,8.841846274778883,2.3877142857142863,286,11,51,7,7,100,51,70,0.035,0.777,0.188,0.8969,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,3,13,11,3,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,6,1,2,3,6,5,0,9,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,3,6,32,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153014519453298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5993209348921853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19613815882893185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343095796057146,0.0,0.1874824475486584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254714960259929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155225414206416,0.0,0.0,0.11140418801881254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299646339216747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17959629329393026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764087178951602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17586328306615368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3398602524582593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14929959456825664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076560313047908,0.0,0.16565883599049155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238935740716336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,JGBITW82,2019/09/26,"Still Hanging In There This year has been one of the worse years in my life. My oldest dog/my best friend died from cancer.  A high school friend committed suicide. Cancer came back after 12 years of remission and took my Aunt. I lost a friendship and a person I really deeply cared about and within the same situation almost lost my love/my wife. My bipolar meds sent me to the hospital when they severely dropped my blood pressure. Badly injured my knee on the job and it hasn’t gotten better and it’s been over a month. Then that job fired me for no just reason. 
2019 is a year I would love to forget , but I’m still here, and that makes it the year that will start my turn around, my comeback.",4.207608695652176,5.446771355072464,4.328231884057973,88.61060869565218,70.95652173913044,7.259130434782609,23.220289855072465,7.554174236665415,0.8178672463768111,549,13,113,6,10,170,93,138,0.193,0.693,0.115,-0.8231,2,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,0,1,4,9,10,0,1,10,0,7,8,2,2,1,17,19,9,2,1,2,2,1,0,2,2,5,0,0,1,7,8,0,0,1,0,0,4,2,4,0,1,8,1,15,6,14,9,2,26,0,2,0,1,8,7,0,1,14,72,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13952913318245266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12404236476178562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10714405164663472,0.11634328889148547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14622899625191785,0.12323512817026848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15936812586480847,0.14206667188917238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14461318099343928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153078637204628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14722062492607674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765473960647857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09842013968365823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30421268687259323,0.0,0.25152003250113225,0.0,0.0930106991796536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15477560625486173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11122005853701933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09442055986859113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12166653210136112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926493245841799,0.1432649845631764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14101977249074124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15741482139914745,0.0,0.0,0.15662427964943568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862574645891828,0.0,0.22255460802775348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15241561817007268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548121452584817,0.0,0.151562179944913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14199961939368694,0.09898331606269917,0.0,0.0,0.44865276424701744
bipolarreddit,ComradeALat,2019/09/26,"Any experience with antipsychotics? I am currently on 100mg of amisulpride, after getting a disgusting mixed/manic episode few weeks ago. I was also feeling very suspicious about other people at the time. Yesterday my doctor added 1mg of flupentixol, that should treat my current depression.

So far, it is day 2 and I am feeling worse. Ever since taking antipsychotics I feel anhedonic and overall blunted. My head is acting like a potato currently. Is it normal, or should my doctor and I consider a different approach?

I started having movement problems, so he added an antiparkinson medication called cyclodol. Will this go away with time?",5.275243472124206,8.775046743119269,5.75889908256881,68.70810162314751,76.9816513761468,8.858433309809458,34.0726887791108,9.265573868473778,4.451494848270995,521,28,69,15,13,167,82,109,0.146,0.7809999999999999,0.07400000000000001,-0.8759999999999999,4,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,1,0,5,0,10,4,1,0,1,14,17,7,0,4,1,0,3,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,1,3,10,2,9,13,1,20,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,1,13,48,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770705711449448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15974383549044152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13584010886671247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18767620319409906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20397197719183072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12882531593954566,0.0,0.17204851018181422,0.0,0.0,0.20870124264968934,0.0,0.4089149891679677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18068964610435487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953985171238993,0.0,0.0,0.30300607532901697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436363457000246,0.0,0.11352525199811835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20500604648929888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759010167082588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20123193829669447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19571728481131376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13848482173013973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19113835906529975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652392286660371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14138747035016835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019074426111564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329572519268242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648186239274448,0.0,0.0,0.16023124561806726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035671992112424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nukethewhales-,2019/09/26,Switched my Lamictal to a generic. I haven’t been this depressed in a long time My country just stopped funding Lamictal and switched to a generic Lamotrigine. My head is pounding and I want to die. I forgot how horrible this feels,4.4280232558139545,7.01740569767442,4.793197674418604,79.84468023255816,73.41860465116278,8.020930232558143,40.98255813953489,8.841846274778883,4.210074418604651,187,13,32,4,4,59,30,43,0.29,0.682,0.028999999999999998,-0.9165,0,0,0,0,0,1,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,3,1,1,1,0,8,6,3,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,6,0,4,4,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,22,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3741972215098759,0.0,0.4508978271358152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21967453901792086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44587827530708096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3844808186713744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36322554843177896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533354003166719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25625402514214485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheSuicidealist,2019/09/26,"Does anyone else have extremely severe brain fog? I swear, this brain fog could make me suicidal even if I had nothing else wrong. Ive heard many bipolar patients have this but should I be worried that it's something else like MS (shown to be more common in those with bipolar)?",4.923679245283019,6.5950035849056645,4.271839622641512,88.03530660377363,69.75471698113208,6.809433962264151,28.34433962264151,7.1686216300943375,1.4370037735849062,222,8,42,2,4,66,42,53,0.16,0.75,0.09,-0.4459,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,8,4,2,1,0,6,10,2,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,5,1,3,4,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,24,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14718487953864878,0.21567975942149806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4699700768107764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680652775409311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18420794750794908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5275314299102342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390317393487752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283853894739707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405088429748908,0.21341161928569935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019782112244868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378024745214657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16205140616218044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23025030828995655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21377062254151094,0.0,0.0,0.23014618012129706,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,iwannabeaccepted0416,2019/03/12,Klonopin overdose I haven't take clonazepam In a couple years. Mg with my addictive behaviour I stayed away. Yesterday my blyfrie d broke up with me. I took 4 during work and four after. I was so emotionally unstable from my life I was sent home early today. I took probably 12. Not sure if this can kill me. Not sure i care,0.2454971590909097,2.5414135781250025,2.1665909090909103,89.89204545454545,100.71875,6.077272727272727,21.44318181818182,7.348242739294969,1.3326437500000003,255,10,51,6,11,84,50,64,0.264,0.736,0.0,-0.9416,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,1,1,5,1,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,2,8,9,3,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,1,5,0,12,3,7,4,0,12,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,1,5,31,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349590670452644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20249714510763447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197467818443649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384793924883345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424417798617587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21619375251498327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23845155856115224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522349237619123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23237735205930365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297258663854872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4062681767820772,0.0,0.16205142909361145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20429685061336705,0.0,0.478922610892337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15690810885430798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13879398988915806
bipolarreddit,Sooodun,2019/03/12,"DAE feel like there’s not enough skepticism and cynicism about psychiatry and meds on this sub? I get it... we’re all in a place where something is going wrong for us psychiatrically and we need some help with it, which usually means medication. 

However... I also feel like skepticism and cynicism toward psychiatry, especially Big Pharma, is relevant. It doesn’t mean don’t take medications, but... idk what I really mean. 

Bipolar treatment to me is really experimental, and notoriously corrupted by BigPharma, and I guess I’m kinda like... idk, I don’t wanna pretend like there’s a full map when half the territory is uncharted. 

Does anyone get what I mean?
",5.0227972027972,7.801432709401713,6.913737373737372,64.43909090909094,72.33333333333334,11.434032634032636,30.2944832944833,11.022393298168332,4.5504940170940165,525,23,85,21,11,182,80,117,0.109,0.7709999999999999,0.12,0.327,1,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,2,0,0,0,6,9,4,0,3,0,7,3,0,1,1,23,20,9,0,2,2,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,6,1,0,1,4,5,0,1,0,2,9,4,9,20,4,11,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,3,6,53,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855928784274772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366318388504904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12973875030817786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15318681078125496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149924134861462,0.21182647790302386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15491399906997513,0.0,0.08425660362881891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16331934607570464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993720487940436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897191724255745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6459716376278779,0.16467763037570998,0.29870217179177994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099290351286513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15489468263033046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189951606827427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413376678689165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11146913823310317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783322369443562,0.0,0.16328168640841992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162093320082454,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,princessbroke,2019/03/12,"My boyfriend is forcing over communication on me because of my diagnosis. I tried (again) to tell him I don't feel comfortable talking to him about *everything*. He makes me talk about bipolar related things despite me telling him I don't feel comfortable talking about it in front of/to people who aren't bipolar. 

He's telling me now how ""doctors and everyone"" say that communication is key when living with this disorder. 

Am I being unreasonable?",5.597035714285717,8.216634775,6.124642857142856,71.50750000000002,70.0,9.571428571428571,37.67857142857143,9.957137785484203,4.447607142857144,362,21,59,10,7,117,55,80,0.111,0.889,0.0,-0.8190000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,2,0,6,10,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,13,2,10,9,0,7,0,0,0,0,13,3,0,0,3,40,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13175386330642336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477093850458565,0.22122328625925905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20652621306440866,0.19424816231614705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185686561313486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908511262440214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14427176168738787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14984076481278094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718791923213698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5211632726325429,0.5667344351838642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359046115344726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14674144789896787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Emeraldwolff,2019/03/12,"How do you feel when you're hypomanic? Emotions, ever normal, ever tired? How much do you sleep?

​

What's your energy like?",2.17625,4.992330791666671,3.466666666666669,80.89500000000002,95.25,5.7333333333333325,18.5,7.1686216300943375,1.0457000000000003,105,3,17,2,4,34,19,24,0.106,0.6920000000000001,0.20199999999999999,0.3939,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,2,2,6,3,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,12,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3007129439935453,0.3372397623639869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31219355567153306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5020990842095094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14033184912428165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355913350135606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040227960774138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719288890824938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777390229104594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31898977917120463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372397623639869,0.0
bipolarreddit,jeanadhoc,2019/03/12,"Brain Zaps? (Not on meds) I've been off medication since October, and generally doing really well, really proud of myself. HOWEVER: I've been experiencing infrequent brain zaps (that's all I know how to call them, but they're weird) at night.  


This happens only when I'm laying down at night, and almost exclusively when I'm in a really bad depressive episode. I get this low humming in my ears (like when you yawn or stretch), and then it builds up really loud for a few seconds. Usually when this happens, I either have really intense hallucinogenic dreams (where sometimes I can't tell if I'm awake or asleep), or I sleepwalk, where I fully remember being conscious, but didn't feel as though I had any control or explanation for my actions. Once I ""woke up"" scrubbing change on my bathroom floor, and didn't know how long I'd been ""out"" for.

I can tell when this is going to happen because I get nauseous, and it doesn't matter if I'm sleeping on either side or on my back or stomach. It lasts what seems like a few seconds, and then I'm ""good"" for the night (i.e. after the incident I sleep through the night).

This isn't accompanied by drug or alcohol use, it just seems to happen. Again, almost exclusively when I'm in a bad depressive episode, and only at night when I'm laying in bed. I do have a small history of seizures (I was born with a brain seizure and I've had one other seizure in my life, after my first major manic episode.

Is this an experience other people have had?",4.863166089965397,5.955874442906578,5.846884083044987,78.88036072664363,69.27681660899654,9.101799307958476,29.67491349480969,9.3871,2.576783944636678,1170,44,225,24,20,387,153,289,0.081,0.872,0.047,-0.9088,1,0,2,0,0,0,49.0,0,1,1,3,16,11,0,0,10,0,21,13,8,4,1,41,42,32,0,2,15,0,1,2,0,0,5,2,1,0,14,10,1,1,7,1,0,2,6,6,1,4,10,4,22,5,32,31,6,49,0,3,0,0,5,24,0,13,25,146,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043150443325834,0.1954839548280584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0663779177504898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505580545962984,0.16299998223647758,0.05950194434489281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268939947678797,0.09967037893593668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325808045847304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947753653145836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681421187485707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319621960683646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548097985510512,0.0,0.0,0.049354378256138316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08302672914931444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199404004346116,0.0,0.05547382067492818,0.08187035393539986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3452636091288694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072874357108358,0.07956490281256011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894459135975994,0.09537430139023402,0.0,0.0,0.0863814798099506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842233063272476,0.09833146601889126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4580002804823785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395110504133688,0.06614283354020334,0.14847309374445158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767024984876932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126562465204504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057271986681824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17772034174913456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074372157865921,0.0,0.19536031027529935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653845219060704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17063029487652492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590099791972724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430340866692924,0.10750325317198542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877628091326202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Dashismygirl13,2019/03/12,"Is it just me or... One of the biggest steps to helping your bipolar disorder is learning to love yourself. And it makes it easier. Knowing I'm all chemically imbalanced and weird af but I still love me for the weirdo I am ? When I hated myself it was so hard to not get so crazy, now that I love myself it makes dealing easier. I was always looking for love and validation when I really just needed it from myself.",2.362682926829269,4.616919597560977,4.524573170731706,80.8800304878049,78.63414634146342,7.514634146341463,24.88414634146341,8.472884824447931,1.956117073170732,325,12,61,7,8,112,52,82,0.177,0.5720000000000001,0.251,0.8758,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,8,6,1,0,2,0,5,5,0,2,1,14,17,9,0,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,2,2,12,4,7,15,1,6,0,0,1,4,7,1,0,1,4,49,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17183509975100408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21290551332248145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23668143179728865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10789435595078987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849948051667624,0.20388852488503167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13842110162427326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113493972517412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17341864631849188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7455430546311386,0.0,0.2756976455919658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15312654139333226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13993834193722693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229731595273955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649212993506791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,iamcarltonwhitfield,2019/03/12,"Lithium covering depression? I took some time off from my therapist (6 months) but found myself having a hard time again so I went back.

I’ve been on lithium for 7 years and it saved my life. Before then, 15 years of intense suicidality. Lithium raised me out of it and I haven’t had a depressive episode like I used to in at least 5 years. I’ve struggled with hypomania, but honestly it’s just too much of a good thing. I’m pretty happy and stable, comparatively.

But now I’ve got dysphoria - I feel hugely fat, but I’m 6 feet tall and I weigh 145lbs. No sex drive at all. A lot of dissociation. 

My therapist thinks I might have depression but it doesn’t feel like that because I’m used to being really sad and suicidal when I’m depressed. She thinks maybe lithium is masking those symptoms, so it’s coming out in other ways. 

She also thinks I’ve been on lithium too long. I am very sensitive to meds, had horrible experiences on a lot of other drugs. I really don’t want to change meds. So I’m wondering if any of you have experienced anything like this, and what you did.

Thanks in advance.",2.4681413210445484,4.719834400921663,4.263963133640555,82.8968970814132,78.2626728110599,7.8199692780337955,25.079877112135183,8.704169506293173,1.9568807987711216,863,32,172,20,21,291,128,217,0.159,0.674,0.16699999999999998,-0.0303,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,2,0,1,11,14,0,1,5,0,15,7,2,2,1,33,35,18,2,2,7,0,3,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,12,10,2,0,7,0,0,5,4,6,0,0,9,4,18,8,24,24,6,31,0,5,0,1,4,13,0,6,15,105,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353497892872682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953860430053451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625028477667362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993704854303515,0.0,0.07129933819483114,0.0,0.09952658978315893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12373096175284345,0.10075295560222054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4029589930695699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356395262874623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11441190281788365,0.0,0.0,0.11827964767951532,0.083558131580063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282434949269497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810271105656107,0.0935457059264389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450890250009132,0.10477554937139802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261416984243276,0.17142610997303614,0.0,0.0,0.103508253562949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988749035099808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750469018736501,0.0,0.2598382457839115,0.0,0.0,0.12407887490520035,0.0,0.0,0.09335846134130484,0.0,0.08598099643529385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11899305113597185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985852112781567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222747439967172,0.0,0.25587628317972205,0.0,0.0,0.12156896452718605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768348215806006,0.0,0.2716052739984102,0.07770477915718373,0.22483480604278286,0.0,0.0,0.13640370899679208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994979384467578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020363304661107,0.0,0.09650642523252646,0.06898759397828512,0.09283949746243372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842553673484008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684099104604507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22596031128332794
bipolarreddit,bpthroaway,2019/03/12,"Is this normal psych hospital procedure? A few years ago on my 16th birthday I was sent to a psych hospital and stayed there for a week. Some things happened there that scared me and I'm not sure if it was standerd psych hospital procedure and I'm overeacting, or if their procedures are abnormal. I was voluntarily admitted due to bipolar disorder. I wasn't on the medicine I needed, and since it was an emergency, I went to the psych hospital. During my time there they had a skin check. At first I didn't know they were doing, they just told me to undress myself and be naked. They didn't ask if being naked in front of other people made me uncomfortable, they didn't ask if I was menstruating,  they didn't ask if I had been sexually assaulted. I was confused and thought they were going to sexually assault me, so I started crying. They then told me either I undress myself or they would restrain me. By then I was crying uncontrollably. I begged them to not make me undress myself. I let them touch under my clothes because I didn't want them to see my breasts. They forced me to take off my underwear which was uncomfortable since I was menstruating. It probably doesn't seem like much to be scared of, but when the only person you've allowed to see your private parts is your pediatrician due to yearly check-up and that it is required, and I have had the same pediatrician for several years so I trust her, it was a big deal to me. I was stuck at the hospital for a week, they said they would let me home on Friday but then said I had to stay over the weekend even though the insurance didn't cover weekends, so the hospital bill put my family in some debt. My family can afford a house, food, utilities and all that, but we aren't middle class, we get free lunch at school and help from the government. Hospital bills are notoriously high in the united states, and the medicine I'm on costs more in the united states than it does in third world countries and the developing world. My parents asked that I be released from the hospital, but their request was denied even though I was voluntarily committed. Also, the psych hospital had zero privacy. No locks on doors, the shower curtain was clear. Everyone had a roommate, mine treated me terribly, and so I was worried she'd come in when I was in the bathroom or showering and see me. The psych hospital was tiny, it was a hallway with rooms on each side, some bedrooms, a room to eat, and a desk where a lady gave you meds. They made you go to groups, but the medicine they put me on made me super tired and knocked me out. Best sleep I've had, but it made the nurses and doctors angry that I wasn't participating in groups and instead, sleeping. Or trying to sleep, rather, since the psych hospital was so small and crowded that every little noise echoed. I often hear people say psych wards make them feel safe and calm, but my experience was far from it. Is it normal for psych hospitals to be like this?",6.882727272727273,6.731532438811192,7.059571678321677,76.28628059440561,64.64685314685315,10.576573426573427,32.90996503496503,10.198262852665088,3.12592027972028,2353,86,454,49,32,760,256,572,0.105,0.816,0.079,-0.4689,6,0,0,0,0,0,61.0,2,4,20,4,20,17,2,4,34,0,59,11,5,7,4,78,98,49,0,12,21,1,3,2,0,2,3,4,8,1,21,26,3,3,5,2,6,8,13,7,0,3,51,10,82,11,51,37,12,64,0,0,3,1,49,34,0,15,20,323,103,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357331607217826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637400909211352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3103702223430305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05059522090886962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710198707054136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149600788700497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18234029071700525,0.0,0.08556798776525265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09512367032796026,0.08495265912956068,0.07263269836755512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492836347947992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963968193826563,0.0,0.0699299620015551,0.07930878921678346,0.0,0.0811886287339284,0.1564875250849135,0.0,0.0419666230773106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059862915237675,0.10036232526990893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043363381181928895,0.0,0.09434011754097968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339545273686562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354553702629644,0.0,0.055632261210155874,0.08769265533859515,0.08325443666912342,0.0,0.0,0.09576932543173404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045613900270822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16974353366690362,0.0,0.08109791874863638,0.08318647523144443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3141414061943181,0.11080451791396258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092192815381302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06101357486265972,0.061542464617315024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626421551938662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631242311468147,0.0,0.0,0.09216020452539564,0.08987947507734241,0.0,0.11508165918785665,0.07247124016192767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948660780111621,0.0,0.0,0.1668731822100994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15790148972330062,0.06600387637144775,0.16619230251975395,0.08399908851879387,0.19841759035859116,0.07555887500648582,0.0,0.09376487625340102,0.0,0.20597208084144755,0.0,0.2491758420005095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05874688818958861,0.17693108493433035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822526738426341,0.0,0.06240467304752478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055140630567839584,0.0,0.16309155031993888,0.0658916755988294,0.048397193888555456,0.09539476541876583,0.0,0.1586175784335669,0.0,0.05635065102924919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04895476796383195,0.0,0.1331530587185712,0.0,0.0,0.07694060172440262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428918163931026,0.0,0.11791975240039924,0.0,0.0,0.16034527325873166
bipolarreddit,kavkazskayakoshka,2019/03/12,"Does anybody else have a very unnatural sleep-wake rhythm? I'm not sure how it got to this point but I'm usually awake for about 24 hours and then sleep for 16 or so hours at once. When I'm getting into depressive or hypomanic episodes the amount I sleep/stay awake changes but it's always along that rhythm. I recently started seeing a psychiatrist and therapist for the first time in years and will be going on medication again, and with their help I'm currently trying to get back on a normal rhythm but I was wondering whether anybody else experienced something like this.",6.578466579292267,7.544694238532113,6.396618610747051,76.93642201834864,65.3302752293578,10.26526867627785,33.002621231979035,10.290406445055957,3.332120838794234,468,19,87,11,7,147,77,109,0.047,0.887,0.066,0.444,1,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,1,6,3,0,0,5,0,4,2,1,1,1,18,15,14,0,1,7,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,2,4,2,13,11,1,23,0,1,1,0,2,6,0,3,17,49,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13601567240361925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12569421535856318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17292391072453578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407918518454614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304900492426598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731074568563434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13904293625659925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17080705157988388,0.0,0.09290071993734256,0.0,0.13073760254607775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10956690012434568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32195947891524274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986056445070433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16467342386925216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16016063689032226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17408450290836247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15452691788306044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16140160797157954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13026015141111666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4907480659600726,0.0,0.0,0.12584306329713402,0.0,0.0,0.11570111102565993,0.17423155279146688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15406348532759578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18979504195171595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09531754406053004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11098175804754967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18003320293742825,0.13487544447111666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772704252931573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526586647379324
bipolarreddit,Johnny_Kaotic,2019/07/13,"Something I’ve seen for years and wonder if I’m alone. Quick Med list. Effexor, Lamictal, Wellbutrin, and Seroquel for years. Lamictal probably the longest. Now. There’s been a thing I’ve had for years now and this is one of the places to “ask the class” about. When my eyes are closed, and I kind of focus into the “blackness” I see...an eye. A human eye very small. Looking around never staring at me. I think it started about 7 or 8 years ago. I think it’s Seroquel related. Any ideas? Lol",0.20632302405498493,2.597694237113401,1.651587628865979,94.73937457044674,96.31958762886595,4.6485223367697595,20.89965635738832,6.42735559955562,0.4461235738831619,379,14,78,5,15,121,69,97,0.023,0.9440000000000001,0.033,0.2023,0,1,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,0,6,1,4,3,3,0,1,14,12,7,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,7,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,7,6,1,11,9,0,17,0,0,7,0,2,6,0,3,11,44,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18133166614943508,0.0,0.0,0.21186430064527856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13910901801157288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821033445073897,0.1912376407141264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309253384704749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130196041663755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717803662184049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272220108129729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15777064750504233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13861634914290027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137235104197388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22055218599523724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16300924562460592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574816441784412,0.0,0.0,0.14478987335655755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13590175007998376,0.2621498441625181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16878488331500452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22183851304908375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5269242910598712
bipolarreddit,emilythenihilist,2019/07/13,"Multiple anti-seizure medications? I’ve been taking a combination of buspar, trazodone, and Lamictal for the last two years. Lamictal is also prescribed for epilepsy and other seizure disorders. 
More recently, I’ve started experiencing weird migraines and my neurologist prescribed me Topomax, which is another seizure medication. Anyone have any experience with anything like this? Any chance my migraines are related to my psychiatric meds? 
I’m really apprehensive about all of it, seems weird to take multiple anti-seizure medications for afflictions that aren’t seizures.",10.276468699839489,13.5175967752809,9.521380417335477,49.44460674157304,58.7752808988764,13.625040128410914,48.66934189406101,12.540900571622839,8.061053290529697,479,32,54,19,7,152,65,89,0.039,0.902,0.057999999999999996,0.3899,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,6,5,0,0,1,6,11,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,1,4,1,9,10,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,33,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611003824992768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739873301524707,0.2112390571091325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14085930236966934,0.0,0.16577710147347013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308804287127254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19705784421543604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16420954463650142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841883825466363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22376677293970626,0.6088224086607991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290547416109611,0.0,0.198908671110168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833935275458032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14258813483528887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30293233255645197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19678846567260652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12972791211131876
bipolarreddit,DieBorstel,2019/07/13,"Bipolar without meds? I was wondering if any of you suffering from bipolar are managing this disease without meds? 

The reason I'm asking is because stopping zyprexa gave me horrible insomnia and this made me wonder if my other meds might not be as beneficial to my brain's health. 

Don't get me wrong I'm not against meds and I'm not quitting my mood stabilisers/antidepressants cold turkey but I am considering slowly getting of these meds and seeing how I react.",5.469717607973422,7.703295639534888,6.215382059800664,72.3836046511628,69.34883720930233,9.100332225913624,35.54152823920265,9.606745405546679,3.9390551495016624,379,20,60,9,7,124,62,86,0.094,0.884,0.022000000000000002,-0.5975,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,7,5,1,4,0,19,18,8,0,2,8,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,3,2,10,0,8,13,0,1,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,5,1,40,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505526601194053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067553110082986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520865582424407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560408274489117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14605867337398026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14857971730949476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13226331696806173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7763209384383086,0.0,0.0,0.14828460424087242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486733496489298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14371723032154668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11138664787327883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686242837590932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26948607013199805,0.30317112680386715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15282760393612366,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,boredwife2019,2019/07/13,"Newly diagnosed Yesterday, I went to my first psychiatrist appointment because my primary was concerned about the way I reacted to antidepressants. I was originally diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I left the appointment with a months worth of Vraylar and a diagnosis of manic depression/bipolar. I took my first pill five minutes ago. My anxiety is raging at the thought of if it's right for me and side effects. I just needed a place to vent.",6.974345991561179,9.192889493670886,7.917151898734177,61.751845991561204,65.45569620253164,12.861603375527427,41.014767932489455,12.161744961471696,6.377226160337553,366,22,54,15,6,123,54,79,0.139,0.836,0.025,-0.8225,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,3,2,2,1,0,6,0,3,3,0,3,0,12,7,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,2,0,3,5,0,11,0,11,2,0,14,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,1,6,40,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20445706085233173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3528928101417464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14060192896638668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986582665224574,0.4682092228804903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39238106931426064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506015964855561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841024065896996,0.0,0.0,0.17102384539689153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409798669111199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19697360128654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831101144653504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562603264762178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830790124842204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138146019318804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,killustrations,2019/07/13,"I think I’ve been wrongly diagnosed? (Possibly upsetting abuse tw) Since I was 18 (I’m 21 now), I’ve really struggled with my mental health. When I was 17 I was gang raped, alongside other sexual abuse from my childhood. Had some difficult family relationships and have not advanced in my career as quickly as I had hoped. All of this has led me to have major depressive episodes. 

In February of this year, I basically had a nervous breakdown (suicidal ideation and full plans to carry out, among other things) but was allowed to remain at home due to having some family support(basically a nice way of saying they don’t have a bed for me). They were happy enough to put me on a waiting list and give me some antipsychotics. 

But my one issue is this- I’ve been diagnosed with depression and anxiety but I don’t think I have depression ? I have episodes of suicidal thoughts, issues with self harm- basically extreme depressive episodes, but then it’ll go away and I’ll feel really good again. I’ll go to the gym, attend all social events, buy clothes, go out drinking etc(I used to take a whole lot of drugs but I’ve been clean since May 2017). It’s more than just having a ‘normal good day’. It’s where I have boundless energy and I feel whole and content, sometimes irritable. 

I don’t know what to do. I need serious help and I need it quickly, I’m terrified of everyone becoming exasperated with my constant ups and downs, and ending up alone. Lately I’ve been feeling angry at everyone but I can’t take it out on them (anxiety issues where I have extreme fear of conflict), so I take it out on myself. I’m tired of this. I can feel myself going downhill. Sorry this is so long",3.376615067079463,5.698710340557277,4.756368421052631,80.13841228070176,75.62538699690403,8.269514963880289,27.175335397316818,9.029198982220553,2.49007830753354,1332,53,245,32,30,442,172,323,0.215,0.6990000000000001,0.086,-0.9923,1,1,2,0,2,0,44.0,0,0,3,2,10,18,1,4,7,0,32,7,0,3,2,50,56,22,2,4,8,0,4,0,0,2,5,1,3,1,15,18,1,2,8,2,1,8,5,13,0,1,13,5,32,5,41,41,12,43,0,4,0,1,9,19,0,6,15,166,47,1,0.0,0.2211068028387864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663779328101098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14275902371649773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766489020918616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305012405829683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10083159512525858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06017522192903721,0.0,0.3214603343215337,0.18940904895917496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914052252865503,0.10820636396630606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826422054202563,0.09641095501203888,0.104061841664789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17831745495556847,0.0,0.0,0.17592285471136826,0.1049961868147506,0.1887150590527993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950846659016247,0.21211381268391213,0.15652277693996672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932691443066127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918085584157436,0.0,0.0,0.06254163838829012,0.0,0.0935944137289639,0.09267479052646406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29216443907334805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0512790239720922,0.0,0.1052542307742458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257365728933867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932617719173693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940313943633958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383717463174987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914209366612086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06322716027684186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518949355260916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379919125579296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11954955995822927,0.0,0.0,0.1001766756794561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420138025047437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733943083788907,0.0,0.0,0.1543688394450023,0.0,0.0,0.09511461914477916,0.0,0.0,0.09228289540731067,0.10444941894017287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754461560677584,0.0,0.2041251763841486,0.10588354769577836,0.0,0.0,0.21046549666932912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06198894854280285,0.11957456905985465,0.0,0.0740752444437439,0.0,0.10724253864890676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058719057489667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406266246889441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20834761050105374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201643150947948,0.0,0.060086574943367964
bipolarreddit,wordsdieneverwolves,2019/07/13,"I will not take medications. 23f. I was diagnosed officially with BP and PTSD when I was 20, but due to growing up with a father with BP, I was pretty sure of my BP before diagnosis. 
When I was diagnosed I tried a multitude of different medications including mood stabilizers and antipsychotics. Nothing was worth the side effects so I decided against meds and I've been handling things okay without any help(sort of). 
Now, I may be experiencing postpartum depression after having my son 7 months ago, but honestly I've always had intrusive suicidal thoughts and manic-depressive episodes so I can't tell. 
My s.o is demanding that I seek out help and I completely agree but I will not take medications again. 
Are any of you unmedicated and in some sort of therapy that has been helpful? I have to make sure I don't spiral for my son. I don't know why I'm so scared of seeking help, but I am.",3.722433431952663,6.204742053254442,5.496238905325445,74.4702755177515,75.21301775147928,9.905473372781069,31.272559171597628,10.125756701596842,3.8290381656804735,713,35,129,24,16,243,106,169,0.114,0.7040000000000001,0.182,0.8841,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,1,7,7,0,1,3,1,21,5,0,2,2,27,27,15,1,0,7,3,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,3,10,0,0,4,0,1,1,6,2,0,0,9,1,21,4,18,14,1,13,0,1,0,0,8,4,0,3,8,86,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266929155377669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189236664734534,0.0,0.0,0.1943855416290929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161723374221868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985240054622295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24619932299219344,0.2901283588892251,0.0,0.14932446841209027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3831940027690852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854692873554854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954024378587522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15875560863443386,0.431940679875964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11408004473474476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13713879736814485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14540441650048413,0.0,0.0,0.16706973365514388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14309119440468093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563349342540424,0.0,0.2694071090641354,0.0,0.2149211261271872,0.0,0.12492129691602293,0.0,0.16344529276837166,0.0,0.09495191496298801,0.0,0.0,0.11346516559202947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703556469227224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12896608214160446,0.0,0.0,0.13777299749369967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dankblacksheep,2019/07/13,"thank you Thank you to the redditors for the encouraging words and advice. I did talk to my DH and he was very supportive and sympathetic. It was nice to not feel alone. I deleted my post because I kinda wanted to move on and some posts feel weird to keep up lol. But seriously thank you to people who commented. I needed it, and I'm glad I made a post about it.",1.8682818532818537,3.886856445945949,3.8409652509652514,86.35364864864866,79.13513513513513,7.4718146718146725,21.382239382239387,8.418075326091056,1.1680833976833975,283,8,61,6,7,96,49,74,0.04,0.642,0.319,0.9716,0,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,3,0,0,1,9,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,1,0,16,14,6,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,4,2,10,7,10,10,1,6,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,2,0,38,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19122557441342147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20267536855614948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11929054020429722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978930439481445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17393787341829184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18516619441663684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079870342732944,0.0,0.14510133008266726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13566650214704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5622495182177591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22206619506378286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572878567322297,0.0,0.5404939687916781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16146438228802926,0.1154227733583782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,idonthateitanymore,2019/07/13,"Question about missing sleep and (hypo)mania tl,dr: How quickly does a disruption in your sleep schedule trigger mania or a mood change? 

So I’m kind of new to this and still figuring out triggers and all that. I’ve read or heard in several places recently that a sure way to induce mania is to prevent a bipolar person from sleeping. My question is, if that works how quickly does that work? 

I’m NOT trying to induce mania (or hypomania because that’s what I typically experience). But I am wondering if that’s what I accidentally did to myself. The night before last I had a really shitty night where I only got about 3 continuous hours of sleep (thanks to cramps). That night I really just wanted to die, and the next day I was basically a zombie. No extreme feelings, just went through the motions for a day. Then I got a great night (9 hours) of sleep and woke up feeling fine. By the time I got to work, though, I was bouncing off the walls and noticing all my hypomanic symptoms. 

It was my understanding that if you missed sleep and started to go manic that it happened immediately, rather than seeing a delay. So I’m wondering about others’ experiences, and trying to figure out my own triggers. How does missing sleep affect you?",5.681765021459228,6.923390639484983,6.649890021459227,73.32359039699574,67.49785407725322,9.086802575107297,32.15906652360515,9.354420925462401,3.0201504291845493,981,41,171,19,16,327,132,233,0.107,0.845,0.048,-0.9265,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,3,0,3,16,9,0,0,14,0,8,10,7,9,3,45,31,22,1,5,11,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,15,10,0,2,11,1,0,3,2,3,0,0,11,4,18,5,27,20,3,34,0,3,1,0,7,9,0,10,21,116,33,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05358749260660576,0.0,0.07480266337945278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299429933024812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338591126507985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09123393004329804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307848913504909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17198047419759946,0.0,0.0,0.08889717500908667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04995976161799225,0.0,0.21092256751449784,0.09691814196345364,0.0,0.0,0.07773616183985826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731420254666182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09154195693236572,0.0,0.07165620700560067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490144736057419,0.09349044302968124,0.32998029781229365,0.0,0.0,0.1000830781589185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06685748592679047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675729004847652,0.09184445001126318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19695265688139485,0.0,0.08793111924260537,0.0,0.1126313735343461,0.0,0.08679788342285492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005076082523545,0.0,0.0,0.09931026137900678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6157957112522713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062221260822063064,0.0,0.07020290750861374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285161843950191,0.0913693752667339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809332589908519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636850566095151,0.0,0.05125947121279945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11936661373003092,0.0,0.0,0.091514631030187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05185002099397999,0.06977674701936892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814909758666837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19066349960558945,0.1919927502247003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,libismanaged,2019/07/13,"I don’t even know a decent title. My psych in residential told me I should never have children because I’m bipolar.

I don’t want kids, but hearing her say that just fucking crushed me.",3.4493693693693714,5.160716459459461,4.528108108108111,84.56531531531532,73.5945945945946,6.014414414414415,31.25225225225225,6.42735559955562,1.6892954954954955,147,7,28,1,3,48,31,37,0.124,0.841,0.035,-0.611,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,1,6,10,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,7,0,1,8,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,1,1,0,1,18,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548147241298337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760913462271712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38644306637652975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4711271100854933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297271008052395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3223947120044528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3324179487106792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3994260106452673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465528456929225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MimiCRS,2019/07/13,"How to forgive ourselves Do you feel scared about falling asleep with absolute horror of nightmares about Hell? They’re vivid and painful. It’s that constant judging of the things I did when I was on a mania... how can you forgive yourself? Because I know that I’m not that hateful person, but the forgiveness it’s impossible. I even relearned to pray.",3.719472527472529,6.612840200000001,3.643736263736266,85.47769230769231,77.76923076923076,5.560439560439562,32.362637362637365,6.868970318607317,2.1489560439560447,283,15,48,3,7,86,50,65,0.154,0.684,0.162,0.1341,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,0,6,7,2,1,3,0,4,2,1,2,0,11,8,5,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,2,6,3,8,6,0,4,2,0,1,0,6,1,1,0,2,34,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329728854268356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4129999300185892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524257489106092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19324128038795652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3773228248316852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100356865879872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4066656011114421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337041251662098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38262803836250375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539028702094813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kajiracalista,2019/02/23,Need Xanax script back. How do i tell my dr? Been off of Xanax for two years. With my current situation at work my anxiety is out of control. I just don't want my Dr to be disappointed. Any advice?,-0.5518699186991861,1.6678221463414682,2.040853658536588,92.60160569105692,95.82926829268294,5.660162601626017,19.028455284552845,7.1686216300943375,0.4736308943089434,152,5,35,3,6,52,33,41,0.154,0.846,0.0,-0.6577,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,2,0,7,7,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,6,0,8,5,0,6,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,23,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3317587734320194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308739403002845,0.0,0.2597191562508751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610571427385349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3807819089534428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25173745425654515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38161602347849216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29674091812297065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.331645470250021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20024788960869191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471625039272965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186290455066072
bipolarreddit,Roadguard69,2019/02/23,"Seroquel 100mg still getting anger flashes Pretty much I'm severely depressed, and have severe anxiety and I cant really control my emotions. For my medication it says take up to four tablets (each one is 25mg) based on mood, my mood definitely tells me to take four lol, I didnt know I was severely depressed til I told the doctor my symptoms I always thought I was funny  and quite happy but a dark sense of humor. I also find it kinda hard to carry on a conversation with someone I dont know, and making eye contact is a bitch for me (makes me insecure and nervous but no disorders like down syndrome or ADD), Just in general I'm not coping with life that well, my last post I was coming off  Lamotrigine which didnt seem to hell either. I also found my habit of smoking pot coming back rather strong actually, as of now I know I'm addicted to marijuana (sounds retarded I know)

Anyway I'm taking 100mgs and still getting angry quite a bit, I feel kinda numb sometimes like i cannot get angry or really think, when I get angry I yell, throw shit, smash shit, think about suicide, and by the end of my fit I usually have bloody knuckles and borderline pulp of knuckles. What usually calms me down is just punching shit super hard til I realizemy body is in pain, or if my dog has the balls to come up too me and chill me out (I dont physically harm anyone or anything). What makes everything worse is that I have a new born so I cant really explode unless i go and smash the old fridge we have in the garage, if I dont do that I look for something's I misplaced ruthlessly ripping apart my whole room and everywhere I might think I left it (memory is shit now too) I also pace back and forth like a mofo aggressively, that doesnt seem to help only makes me think what else I can destroy. Any way thanks for listening to my crazy head and any advice on medications would be appreciated and any advice would be amazing, TIA",4.379616091287108,5.479291723237598,5.685825355381493,79.5634077942172,70.40992167101828,8.807233343003581,28.284401895367953,9.150863307647796,2.3053530412919447,1522,54,297,30,27,511,208,383,0.235,0.614,0.151,-0.9905,0,0,1,0,0,1,33.0,1,0,0,5,19,29,9,2,11,1,30,15,7,5,0,62,66,31,1,5,14,0,3,3,0,3,8,4,1,0,11,23,0,1,14,1,0,5,11,16,1,3,8,9,47,11,37,53,5,39,1,2,2,0,8,16,7,11,19,185,58,1,0.0,0.0,0.07546937158663877,0.08430831593017853,0.0,0.15114487278645372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855381678042788,0.06435025155817077,0.0,0.0,0.15777463234236466,0.0,0.0591622919654111,0.0,0.0,0.05407555313113482,0.0,0.06364143729128995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893415273099375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443154382516213,0.08590353505605018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998559148395833,0.0,0.0,0.08673957977473705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13321981097459282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863445068774177,0.0791572933471883,0.0,0.0,0.2719137790298704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460481075653722,0.08699327260829758,0.06849727825889662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695051548442855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039103711734970584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068425687897446,0.0,0.0,0.08479559680624761,0.0,0.0,0.16162073888747694,0.0,0.043952175453452286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232625523189382,0.1385568171658292,0.0,0.07936966944117073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051837096864309616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17000870468057924,0.06303965592791846,0.0,0.0,0.08402644878098472,0.0,0.05462513198374835,0.11334827791161778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06494327137844949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20649114032634933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15581698878767866,0.0,0.08204191763977887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05685130392679641,0.0,0.0,0.07469217605914517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115175865505353,0.0,0.05240528576142227,0.05881797383862505,0.08229160149666155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406709080444661,0.07867913138688716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16451400021696258,0.0,0.0,0.14863143049992336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06150117321246067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080868321614978,0.0,0.2621050556145784,0.31753965910369186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06552705535795614,0.059537497678877026,0.07648788089701501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235222270175866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08459369480357712,0.0,0.0,0.08038234536630683,0.17444250932009078,0.0,0.06759560245574373,0.07120115637030078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19821669782236825,0.0,0.061396626638369485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389844128915284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17035069110959958,0.0,0.0,0.06138619817717428,0.0,0.0,0.06953489661165768,0.0,0.0,0.08634355882986207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881260863837322,0.10987541211571357,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RavensAndWolves,2019/02/23,"Mood Trackers Recently my psychiatrist had me look into CBT, and while I can't afford counseling at the moment, I've decided to start mood tracking. I've tried it in the past but gone into episodes of just not being able to. How do you guys stay motivated? What trackers do you use? ",3.33818181818182,5.563379181818188,4.790909090909089,80.30636363636366,75.36363636363637,8.036363636363637,27.363636363636363,8.841846274778883,2.3485636363636364,225,9,42,5,5,75,45,55,0.0,0.92,0.08,0.6553,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,3,0,10,9,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,5,0,7,6,0,11,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,0,5,27,7,1,0.3672168258144752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36360239130344174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083696477632813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3505500116898567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3625823141238364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599179593661153,0.3914042765648488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24931611998250935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31715743410319663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ManicMick420,2019/02/23,"Make sure to bring your pills with you if you are going to be away from home for a while... As title says, I forgot to take my pills with me and was due at 4pm for my second Geodon. I took it at 9. It is now almost midnight and I am flying high and feeling great. No sleep for me!",-0.4052380952380972,1.0741941111111115,1.8034126984127,100.83464285714287,84.07936507936508,4.2,13.674603174603176,3.1291,-1.562415873015873,211,2,55,0,6,71,48,63,0.034,0.8390000000000001,0.127,0.7177,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,5,3,1,1,1,11,12,6,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,3,2,10,2,13,8,0,10,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,2,3,39,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30800728739830263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889912433242233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15552691453652764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17481067479664114,0.0,0.0,0.33911942827538377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3249860749386958,0.30853818361253993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053189359091312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24460817875650576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078124712900937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28990024888724064,0.0,0.23126965049970166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3417441779346884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Tiddleboo81,2019/02/23,"I'm in pain Do any of you get excruciating emotional pain that drives you to the point of suicide thoughts, it hurts so much I wish it would stop and the biggest bs is people dont take you serious because the only thing they can see is a healthy person but inside your hurting horribly.",7.075263157894735,6.367685298245611,7.346315789473685,76.23421052631579,64.43859649122807,10.40701754385965,36.54385964912281,9.725611199111238,3.3535543859649124,230,10,45,4,3,75,47,57,0.313,0.596,0.091,-0.9455,0,0,0,0,0,1,2.0,0,4,1,0,1,5,0,0,4,0,6,2,0,0,0,6,12,3,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,1,1,6,0,4,10,1,5,0,2,1,0,6,3,0,0,1,28,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446264452850024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296448425890009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492537786414619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23923100173187226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11111402670983253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4553464519567604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634076038741165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16174909138791502,0.4526028661735535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744222203480106,0.1856998023577304,0.0,0.0,0.20104682941636368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694746183983218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17780601025573756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23263217650383866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15990530071282125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14129196872372207,0.0,0.0,0.16884037182725692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24456601179285106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15107837720107384,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sphynxmum,2019/05/26,"Diagnosis I’m a 34f who has been diagnosed with bipolar, bpd, polysubstance abuse, SAD, depression, anxiety, ADHD, PTSD and goodness knows what else. I can’t have all of these conditions.   
I refuse to take bipolar medication. It made me obese and there was also a period in 2009 where I did not leave my parents house at all (agoraphobia) until 2015.    
I’m at a stage now where I’m living by myself, on disability pension and working part time. I have a good family but find it hard to make friends.    
I look good for my age and lost a lot of weight. If I wanted a guy I can get one no problem but I have no interest or sex drive. I have been single for 10 yrs now.   
Almost 2yrs ago, I had my first manic episode in years (the last one was prior to my breakdown that resulted in agoraphobia).   
I became a sex worker in that time, abused drugs, got a sugar daddy and it lasted for ages. Maybe 8 months.     
When I came out of that state, I started the methadone program (not my first time) but the last time I was on it was 2009.     
Currently I’m only on methadone and Zoloft. For the past 2 yrs all I do is work, stay at home with my cats or see my family.    
I don’t have social media. I don’t seek out men or relationships and I don’t have a social life.    
I would say I’m majorly depressed and always fatigued. Everything is a struggle,     
I didn’t think I had bipolar as I’m only depressed and for the past 2yrs, I didn’t do anything too out of character.     

The past couple of weeks have been a mess and I just used my phones calendar, photos and texts to piece together what happened. I don’t remember it all.   

10 May Got a burst of energy to clean my house for the first time in maybe 6 months.     
14 may Felt more attractive than usual and decided I wanted a boyfriend.     
16 May Downloaded dating app met up with guy from school who I used to have a huge crush on. Hooked up at my house had drinks and sex and then halfway through he asked if I wanted to smoke ice, we did.     
17 may Acting strange according to sister when I went over to watch game of thrones, I said I was going to meet a boy after and she said I didn’t sound like myself as my speech had changed plus I never talk about boys.     
Ended up sleeping with some random from a dating app who ghosted me.     
18 may slept with young guy maybe 26yr old. Said he was going to get something from his car and never came back and blocked me.    
19 May injected heaps of benzodiazepines and hurt my arm.        
Saw random guy who was a refugee or something and had sex and smoked tiny bit of weed which made me feel awful.     
20 May had been obsessing over first guy the entire time. Texted him that I was stoned and didn’t know how to get rid of the feeling. He said I needed to smoke the opposite. Saw him again and smoked more ice and had sex for hours, he promised to call me and hang out at 5 but never did. I became obsessed and called and messaged so many times.      
Did coke with stranger from tinder (in my car and didn’t hookup) drank 2 alcoholic drinks took benzos scored more ice and injected some.               

21 May 7:25am in bed alone smoking crackpipes had guy come over at night who flushed my drugs down the toilet didn’t have sex but I assume did other stuff I don’t remember. He made me promise not to touch drugs again 
Somewhere in all of this I was texting a sugar daddy from the last time I was manic telling him I was in love with him.      
22 May spent I don’t know maybe 8 hours picking at my skin in the mirror. Had to message my family to come and help me stop. Had huge lesions and scabs had to go to doctor and got std test and anti biotic also morning after pill.      
23 May slept with another guy who stayed over           

24 May spent 5 hrs in Woolworths, spent $250 on groceries I can’t eat,       
25 May slowly coming out of my mania and realising what happened had guy come over who had flushed my drugs didn’t have sex as I had period from morning after pill but gave him head when to be honest I didn’t feel like it and was over it.     
26 May wasted entire day don’t know where it went all I wanted to do was sleep     
I have missed 3 days of methadone 
Didn’t give my cat fresh meat the entire time only dry food 
Somewhere in there I spent 3hrs in the bath shaving myself with blunt razor causing razor burns everywhere.      
All sex unprotected except one
27 May 6:13 am in bed piecing together events. Deleted dating apps days ago. Feel awful.


So can this be bipolar even if I am usually depressed and it is the first time something like this has happened in years?    
I’m lonely but I don’t think I’m mentally in the right place to be loved.    
Not taking bipolar meds as I’d rather be like this than obese.",2.3951222106901935,4.205563022340428,3.4675402179553707,90.61963414634148,76.75531914893618,6.500259470679814,22.420861442656975,7.361086430311594,0.7036190970420342,3611,103,772,45,82,1162,392,940,0.10099999999999999,0.8170000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.9477,2,4,17,0,2,0,82.0,1,0,0,9,23,30,0,3,35,2,97,48,7,10,10,144,174,64,1,11,21,2,9,4,1,15,22,7,5,11,31,57,12,3,16,4,4,17,28,15,0,8,73,23,86,15,115,82,19,139,0,10,5,11,59,50,0,28,72,470,117,8,0.0,0.1133265151557932,0.0,0.0,0.057474787017381714,0.0,0.08478563899176901,0.05110898511126765,0.047888521740666185,0.04953092444137939,0.0,0.07648918213499409,0.03979314474845295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050147313316644,0.03658499525369628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0393548255804811,0.0,0.0447086984626928,0.0,0.0,0.03677346894969605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0522110879664995,0.0,0.060232268845133136,0.0,0.09766667781552264,0.1093951318434178,0.0,0.04912810770698623,0.05059112739236736,0.16478351222101714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05291600814113394,0.0,0.09252697943784828,0.0,0.16476191135574192,0.04854004305142738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0489495775974237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09369802752118514,0.2218412095610068,0.0489355784851994,0.03995055999986793,0.0,0.04235759834081392,0.0,0.0,0.031587099060719784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042980852762977306,0.0,0.13525176840828293,0.0,0.0967243871526954,0.03416525677606328,0.04591824630158047,0.0,0.04370999020694143,0.2033940497786909,0.057828600999587004,0.0,0.036948467597914064,0.0,0.07495771929214012,0.04587684533161029,0.08153792273434643,0.12033673744118528,0.11474693137002095,0.0,0.0,0.3788238096388485,0.12687100483442493,0.0,0.042840636577625706,0.0,0.04908090750592165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03205521422082356,0.0,0.047971064706166425,0.0,0.0941934111062765,0.16554636693093347,0.051196253880079035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513060679701852,0.15593077524893129,0.0,0.050638387085918016,0.0,0.0,0.03377928961113195,0.09345696550173348,0.0,0.042229198253067854,0.0,0.040159858521525316,0.0,0.05220521168878292,0.040657994717264,0.08632550256650141,0.1357558076753762,0.03192268731401796,0.04848571981233283,0.1921813155334348,0.0,0.053121343306624026,0.04817734071708439,0.04819503561911405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07634483307917575,0.0,0.0,0.03546066336461178,0.11065374388472607,0.0,0.0,0.0448792974510939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05018292237494807,0.0,0.09721971886946867,0.1091162236400273,0.0,0.0,0.05310255298695584,0.05178840056088583,0.13695938276964248,0.0,0.0,0.04996558180733953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045760816730872914,0.05590333944092335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051344750179045065,0.10834984597941408,0.04084117364293698,0.18196513924706567,0.038031321223831016,0.0,0.04840013183451751,0.03810929261648848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957164640352277,0.0975004675537506,0.0,0.11045104901981127,0.0,0.0,0.033849856985145484,0.10194738999494997,0.0,0.03998274985272575,0.0,0.04999570893794386,0.054746688274942015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191493278916664,0.0384388739630798,0.04180001674816691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128698456505361,0.0,0.0,0.2788638074450886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053133884048685034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260863398859455,0.10534208562021646,0.0,0.1128306159106738,0.0,0.03836128290074351,0.058236375900479774,0.0,0.08866608751486638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0696324380812119,0.0,0.0,0.03397258031434491,0.0,0.0,0.061593782358149975
bipolarreddit,BlueWorm,2019/05/26,"Trintellix started two days ago on its own already feeling better Hello
For some reason my psychiatrist prescribed me this antidepressant alone, even though I'm bipolar. And I already feel hypomanic, I slept 3 hours last night, I couldn't stop thinking. My mind does this weird think where it tries to make things rhyme.
I was just trying to get a bit better after my suicide attempt last month.

We're supposed to increase the dose to 10mg from 5mg right now.
I was on Risperdal /venlafaxine up until February. It wasn't working for my depression at all.
I'm not sure what to do now",4.0208108108108105,6.377370045045048,4.366027027027027,83.53066216216217,73.77477477477476,6.962522522522522,29.11801801801802,7.908726449838941,2.034073153153153,469,20,85,7,10,147,85,111,0.125,0.773,0.102,-0.5498,0,1,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,0,4,6,5,0,0,2,0,5,3,1,2,2,15,15,3,1,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,5,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,4,2,10,3,14,10,5,20,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,1,13,50,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548635167578414,0.0,0.0,0.1809394430111823,0.3855778316641335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3090209099819472,0.19073024140397354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266887176586375,0.0,0.1504712904432493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15288362277671758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153895707549308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766699989389424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127501745002546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172047095154301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848122454814589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661549480778652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764000549007914,0.0,0.13944613117888185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639467701263029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796236047123427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491952612275976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365556140889652,0.0,0.0,0.1460593875442345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19109653928099715,0.0,0.16465534861259978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11606479661190222,0.2238850369966344,0.1716446422725881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372235059086426,0.0,0.17065927841507292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12718574006060127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,skinnyguy699,2019/05/26,"Been taking aspirin once daily after reading a scientific article that connects inflammation with mood disturbances. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4701682/

I take one, sometimes two 300mg aspirin with food daily. I've noticed it's had a quiet but profound impact on my mental health. My anxiety reduces, my depression alleviates, I can focus better and I notice that the seroquel xr I used to take at 100mg to function now easily knocks me out at 50mg. Things are just better, obviously I will never stop taking my meds but I want to explore what this means with my psychiatrist. 

I've also tried ibuprofen and although it helped me focus and get things done, it also made my heart race a lot. Aspirin doesn't do that. 

Another thing, *any* inflammation triggers my anxiety symptoms. Stomach upset, soreness after working out, injuries, irritated eyes, colds/flus and infections. 

Anyone have any thoughts?",6.353846153846152,9.547396948717953,6.468564102564106,67.20976923076924,69.8974358974359,8.51897435897436,34.75897435897436,9.21078282632365,4.056700512820513,748,38,99,17,15,238,110,156,0.11599999999999999,0.792,0.092,-0.5673,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,3,4,6,0,2,4,0,9,12,3,3,2,23,19,9,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,8,1,0,0,11,9,1,1,3,1,0,1,2,3,0,2,5,2,15,2,13,13,1,11,0,1,1,0,1,5,0,1,5,67,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22430112875358274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907371865416136,0.14705476862115344,0.21456774675315146,0.0,0.0,0.0980596694644747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480632866918267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078924646974035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435150894739327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16957980352771526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07327006066621795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14906947529451645,0.0,0.16618609329972955,0.09400049172285713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11922776336978573,0.0,0.13269929178874085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15276340860670534,0.15577597945227745,0.0,0.14132980099862644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081623961340052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31933029525407464,0.0,0.14935193800448815,0.095030835606888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14027881029586553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13870179562677365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11724763780073882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14576394989958896,0.42177469149505536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795093858061142,0.0,0.0,0.11133557709141327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952143376959404,0.0,0.13699494157392667,0.0,0.0,0.12112307473579427,0.0,0.0,0.08271769222888438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10209701570553337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CattleCorn,2019/05/26,I just started ECT. Does anyone have positive experience with electroshock therapy?,9.044999999999998,13.567113500000005,8.383333333333336,45.64500000000001,80.66666666666666,12.4,47.66666666666666,10.125756701596842,8.734866666666667,70,5,6,3,2,22,12,12,0.0,0.735,0.265,0.5574,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34872507192770946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4364438109792198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.487855681107961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3530051387446095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5703436073960465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Flu6flu7,2019/05/26,"This episode literally feels like it’ll never end I’ve been hypo for a month. Sleeping from 4am-9am usually. That’s with the help of weed or alcohol, I basically pass out until I’m sober again. With out it I can’t sleep. Overconfident, talking too much, you know the drill. Time stopped feeling like it exists. Like seriously, I cannot feel time pass. Every time I look at the clock it feels like a surprise. I can’t estimate “oh it’s been 30 minutes” because I don’t feel it at all. I keep going so deep into my thoughts and “blacking out”, like that term “highway hypnosis” where you become so absorbed and zoned out that your body is just on autopilot. Everything feels so easy. My outfits have been 10/10. I’m getting great grades. Doing fantastic at work. Everything just feels so beyond easy, like I’m just coasting through life and everything is coming so easy to me. I feel like this will never end. Maybe this is how normal people are? Today I started thinking maybe I’m not bipolar, maybe I’ve just gotten rid of my teenage depression. I’ve done reckless things in the past but this episode has just been so motivating and amazing. I don’t think I’m sick. I don’t see how this could ever end, this is probably how normal people are all the time. Like corporate successful people must always function like this. Is it possible I’ve just grown out of my old depression and I’m not actually bipolar?",2.8402082235108064,5.399305143911442,3.816377174486029,84.93966328413286,78.74169741697415,6.9710595677385365,27.02174486030575,8.07648339933343,1.9581648919346333,1118,47,210,21,28,359,144,271,0.059000000000000004,0.7559999999999999,0.185,0.9844,0,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,3,0,3,20,16,0,0,7,0,25,8,3,4,6,51,51,17,0,4,10,0,8,9,0,3,5,0,0,0,18,14,1,2,13,0,0,5,10,3,0,0,7,11,19,13,22,40,4,40,0,2,3,0,5,14,0,1,30,123,37,4,0.0,0.0,0.08990477925884352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984580635090351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07665884901329496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05616108637736168,0.10174942906067372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10233473784662912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07936112151404234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07355764491553367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870143671232148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428012656373452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447972953356861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333610795437482,0.07762279847357027,0.0,0.2483992700185753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3726662085901231,0.2632683872815566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04813368836869415,0.0,0.05235912992269001,0.0,0.0,0.1015727341882004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06175224005482685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08188863858449856,0.0,0.0,0.05063178195687867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06507355672554126,0.4050869256271189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736529872815806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27766840011859195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353662381997683,0.0,0.06772553981383557,0.0,0.14211138960134262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18053404970590248,0.0,0.0,0.09667406518648178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08794771654817315,0.19161229714977773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386179550938324,0.0,0.0,0.09933082651003007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07341501977685347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843914073880341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520950008221649,0.0,0.0,0.07702411064698789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404993633963468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06120652624089541,0.11806530310563695,0.0,0.07314026934520661,0.2148850375645338,0.0,0.08732767993519026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146726386357936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670711323651137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rufflayer,2019/05/26,"I haven’t been able to sleep for a few days and I’m seeing nonexistent shadows Is this psychosis? What’s happening? Was diagnosed maybe two months ago and have been taking my meds properly. I think something bad is about to happen and I’m terrified what can I do?

Please help I’m really scared =(",1.3369915254237306,4.0057408983050875,2.686250000000001,88.9392055084746,89.16949152542372,7.0177966101694915,20.934322033898304,8.07648339933343,1.4796254237288131,239,8,47,6,8,77,45,59,0.183,0.735,0.08199999999999999,-0.8038,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,9,2,1,0,0,4,17,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,3,1,4,0,4,14,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,26,7,0,0.24137842177637125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21396740696417013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015408997998568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15566911330715216,0.0,0.0,0.2449940171271546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4269002824247308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16179086807794085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24249706813935806,0.0,0.2681170117235362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926659533774283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649610225307983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546331978376763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416619090042863,0.0,0.19234735078614995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24155274238583185,0.0,0.0,0.18582490176617253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18148653326059588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546655462408049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357916444190564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sparklingdino,2019/05/26,"I feel like I can't sleep since starting a prescription NSAID. Has this happened to anyone else? I am wide awake and it's after 2 AM. I got up at a normal time and was active and social today so should be tired. I am busy tomorrow and should sleep but am not sure I can. I have noticed myself having more energy since starting it a little over a week ago, too, but figured it was because it was helping my pain. Now I am not so sure. I tend to react strange to medication, I felt super irritable on Lamictal and had a reaction like hypomania which my pdoc almost didn't think was possible, but then I stopped it and it went away. Anyways I have not really heard of this as a bipolar thing (not to mention   
 I question my diagnosis), NSAIDs aren't stimulants or anything, but I sure am confused and wondering if anyone experienced this.",4.272052845528453,5.589529823170736,5.785121951219512,77.92796747967479,70.89024390243901,8.881300813008131,30.13008130081301,9.2995712137729,2.7247617886178865,657,27,124,14,12,223,102,164,0.152,0.74,0.10800000000000001,-0.7522,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,5,8,0,1,6,0,22,6,2,2,3,34,33,17,0,4,10,0,2,2,0,2,4,1,0,0,11,7,0,1,6,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,10,4,18,6,12,20,1,19,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,6,13,93,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323623630382855,0.0,0.14952149857879213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20881475780116207,0.15299505243806946,0.12287688747142055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14029019943969145,0.0,0.0,0.09102353075090612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473693868837105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550021795674401,0.10667358704764958,0.14336974184133336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942411606602713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13204237730681795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008543787417966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14589952901573192,0.1496569547532398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504232730458743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14630100381760822,0.0,0.1700007725556593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15888603852025465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16833483729053164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16727155300700147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565763197470976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24703658695444025,0.0,0.29885385100657763,0.15221200708300342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21137763953146985,0.0,0.0,0.12483744450611994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4221944229124488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992009678375814,0.0956776430181643,0.0,0.0,0.08706916161325079,0.17162032712951952,0.14153703698990838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11977476644164985,0.0,0.0,0.13842029150675475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16193018254119065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AboutAGir1,2019/05/26,"Meds aren't working, doctors are testing me for ADHD, anyone else have a similar experience I've tried antidepressants to find out I was bipolar, I've tried lamictal and now lithium and neither stabilized my mood and specifically didn't prevent the rather bad depression I tend to get. Doctors (resident and supervisor) have stopped lithium and made me take an ADHD test last week. I don't see them again until the middle of June. I'm feeling really hopeless at this point. Fortunately I'm so depressed that I'm not really a danger to myself anymore. Anyone else go through anything remotely similar to this.",8.97448484848485,9.098127054545452,9.260000000000002,61.32666666666671,60.27272727272727,12.424242424242426,43.78787878787878,11.855464076750405,5.75469696969697,496,28,74,14,6,165,77,110,0.159,0.8,0.04,-0.9219,0,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,1,1,4,6,1,0,5,0,7,3,0,1,0,13,17,7,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,6,0,2,2,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,3,2,8,0,10,14,1,12,0,3,1,0,1,4,0,0,7,44,11,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3944656363030662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16275672711530784,0.22950427963954545,0.33630783253019875,0.13505162106564925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13702811425497274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28270184012076793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3359547251196353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741919350870461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605347244489962,0.0,0.0,0.08298083582430962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14999698123776903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574265334658411,0.0,0.09326961798775957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13377459854526785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552883848016954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18229336354377385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15514052646200854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21027092289411295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13077739945757955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372064315526043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339310502269335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228449076322846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316421395721518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947675415801134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,immapunchayobuns,2019/02/13,"Afraid and unmotivated I am 1.5 months into college. I'm finding it really hard to push past my fear of failure and lack of motivation to get to class. I feel like I'm such a disappointment, especially to my partner who tries his best to encourage me to go to class. My family has been so supportive of me going back to school and all I want to do is stay home.

It's not even that I don't like going to school - I actually love it. I like what I'm studying and I'm excited to see what I will do after graduating. However, I'm also scared that if I try hard I will find that my best isn't good enough. I'm scared that I'll never amount to anything, or that I can't handle ""normal"" life. It makes me want to just ditch everything and be a blob. At the same time, I know that I HAVE to earn money and whatnot, and that this new education will help me get to something stable. I'm just having a really hard time getting to classes (still doing the homework though).

How do you find motivation or the strength to follow through?",4.5878490703609165,4.725290132701423,6.175071090047393,79.69915785636168,69.47393364928911,9.525483047757927,28.55304411228581,9.466822959209583,2.2541874589865114,802,26,171,16,13,276,117,211,0.121,0.6859999999999999,0.193,0.9467,1,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,6,11,16,0,4,6,0,17,2,0,4,2,30,39,14,0,5,6,0,4,3,1,3,1,0,2,1,15,8,0,0,7,0,1,5,5,5,0,0,1,5,22,11,24,34,7,17,0,1,1,1,7,2,0,3,12,112,37,11,0.0,0.0,0.12333416120760528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107055713264528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10400461964039047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718276207702843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26526788063570794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13059015951217715,0.0,0.08347652860600828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11358727112870702,0.0,0.1191451410046006,0.14221899142681946,0.06390438114884779,0.09028993226368397,0.0,0.0,0.3465425781136873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980938542885264,0.0,0.21548362913998664,0.10600628530920986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3396501481092596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08471363583381011,0.0,0.12677510991139826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945824693166952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926992092859948,0.18523693104436686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406798184550328,0.0,0.0843634015148637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008798185329387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747640325141403,0.1220640465046137,0.0,0.0,0.12383110093504507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064940195630584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16193176493901834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530681638277667,0.2558180465925069,0.1007129983395996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09729784656010126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13471028474096594,0.10093174184059714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434209357388928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417325757426377,0.0,0.14739297556019293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17161511779134664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14909105959042548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Cactusauce,2019/02/13,"Just thoughts? I got psychotic a month ago, yet I still crave the mania, despite knowing how it could end. I miss how it makes me feel, how I sometimes could be so productive, sleep less, be more creative.. 

Like today I got a taste of it for a few hours and I was having a blast. Then I take my medicine and it drags me down and lull's me to sleep. Life's boring. A routine. It's so boring it's frustrating. 

Which kinda bums me out, which then makes me just want to let go, don't give a shit, stay in bed, forget the outside world. 

And other times makes me want to stop taking medicine and be crazy, be up during all hours, wander around in the forest and city at night, dance, sing, do something crazy, travel the world and so on and so on. 

My family, friends and education keeps me grounded though. Makes it possible to grit my teeth, keep up the routine and behave. But god I wish it was different. In a few years it could be, but it feels so far away at the moment. Oh well. One step at a time I guess.",1.920426105717368,3.620526490291265,2.907313915857608,94.60238403451996,77.7864077669903,5.937001078748653,20.667745415318233,6.691623216298621,0.11438489751887815,771,19,175,7,18,245,117,206,0.07400000000000001,0.853,0.073,0.1948,1,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,0,15,8,2,0,14,0,14,6,4,7,1,40,35,23,0,6,4,0,2,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,13,12,1,3,4,3,0,4,1,5,1,1,5,3,19,3,20,21,5,39,0,1,0,0,2,18,1,2,17,114,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818649103427707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11868944762906505,0.0,0.0,0.12526526436733526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31935268713394743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13929851461917633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180882983502927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568898934961908,0.0,0.13482844560654608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10300824022603823,0.0,0.0,0.12789956964272328,0.07577290280752963,0.0,0.21326783382722544,0.0,0.1468749083609025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626008099857727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23701462807597945,0.0,0.0,0.07327312541013084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363360637446939,0.09417292259029536,0.0651369202774638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35598768309283896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10642047447565184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251185165059212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903459404144048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15030635054799796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13685842326668174,0.0,0.0,0.26684691306343405,0.0,0.0,0.1026417686606391,0.13186397954980378,0.0,0.0,0.14210902267040532,0.10647524958446662,0.11146748348393434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20049087700200272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13099326684381113,0.10584687959089274,0.15548828915044394,0.0,0.1263785669071765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572796376166178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987713710022754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15331966473485187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585832569057368
bipolarreddit,Imnotwhoiam669,2019/02/13,"Is blocking out the majority of my childhood a thing? I feel like I can't remember anything before maybe 12, and it's concerning (I'm 20F) I have pretty much no actual memory of my childhood. I know facts about it, but I'm not sure how much of it is just based on hearing stories from my family. I don't remember being excited for my first day of school, or when my little brother was born. I barely remember any of the houses I lived in(there were a number). I don't remember what my relationships with my siblings were like, or conversations with my parents. I literally don't have almost any memories from before I was like 12/13.

The exception being of my dad. I do have some clear, distinct memories of him being an abusive asshole. I remember things being thrown at me, being called fat, being yelled at. But even these I only have a few.

I also have trouble with dates and when things happened. I have a hard time answering questions like ""when did you start this medication"", or ""when was your last dentist appointment""

I have BPII, severe ADHD, and I suspect I disassociate sometimes but haven't really discussed that with my doctor. I had a rough upbringing, and have a lot of lasting issues resulting from it.

It makes resolving these issues difficult because I don't have clear ideas of what my childhood was like. I also feel incredibly guilty and sad because my mom died when I was 14, and I don't have as clear memories of her as the rest of my family does. 

Overall this is becoming a real issue. I plan on discussing it with my therapist next session.",5.311311920741449,6.639873560402688,6.53556088207095,73.4806599552573,68.42953020134229,9.837264301693834,31.97571108980505,10.07000556051586,3.447110706295942,1243,53,216,31,21,419,154,298,0.138,0.763,0.099,-0.9175,1,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,2,0,3,11,11,0,0,12,0,36,4,1,3,6,48,45,22,1,0,9,4,4,5,0,0,4,2,0,0,16,12,1,1,13,0,0,0,9,3,0,1,9,6,43,8,29,30,7,23,0,1,0,0,15,6,0,7,22,167,59,3,0.0,0.1133361641971238,0.0933460011554638,0.0,0.11495936126936845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095785198295321,0.0,0.0,0.1529913894173467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13009808441318862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871635279363946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662144942884407,0.10564402027305088,0.16279162543564007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767499352001216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06168990501952445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927534058038387,0.0,0.0,0.09790749069332637,0.08370880102301702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317957700781815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803510456630492,0.0,0.09673262262705047,0.06833633146639402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08136454700206948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458787140268187,0.0,0.08568856837777544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781073705811026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037364144321322,0.0,0.10798345285916923,0.0,0.2995185712446919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052569779004102105,0.15594405177555018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23366230693911755,0.09587197308458624,0.08446558760838997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132291298054732,0.0,0.0,0.06385081066088054,0.0,0.09609883928299363,0.0,0.0,0.09636288543040283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203060346169474,0.0,0.0,0.14063564517555607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017307439061086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07275034280097765,0.0,0.0,0.10621414867195683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973160652453547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10715608809591268,0.0,0.0,0.1088769375434256,0.061279383461570115,0.0,0.0,0.10269824372438716,0.5417953564430329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680850560379912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806352435819552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460576745885864,0.0,0.06770547817593403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015420725944903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106344577721908,0.1906478559751054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05577751018953137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Bi_Everything,2019/02/13,"Has anyone gotten out of an episode by using LSD? I was in the midst of a horrible mixed episode and impulsively took half a hit. It was a partly beautiful partly scary trip, and definitely a stupid thing to do when I was already so messed up, but I felt great the next day, and over the next weeks finally started to stabilize after almost three months of bipolar hell. It might be a coincidence and I'm definitely not recommending you do this, but I'm wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience, especially after reading things like [this](https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/feb/10/amanda-feilding-lsd-can-reset-the-brain-interview)",7.807013274336281,9.786651681415933,7.670962389380531,65.2237887168142,63.15929203539825,11.313716814159292,34.47898230088495,11.20814326018867,4.522452212389381,532,23,81,16,8,170,81,113,0.13,0.7240000000000001,0.147,0.4355,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,0,0,2,5,2,0,10,0,10,1,0,1,0,14,19,9,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,3,0,2,7,1,4,2,12,9,2,16,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,4,11,55,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18232655425434613,0.0,0.20092951639057646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546287699710218,0.1865622067337465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032612027754037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742636664810475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15210425547802886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17810892018347102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17482510048874758,0.1994594508158243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007435517530399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895496181357658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19315782608844825,0.0,0.0,0.14533430814412626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3872877298002767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3943492211241852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18212900937614787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288769743097551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419313719624243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022972862935556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15725843103242734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460533813498214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974577067053301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,etd1949,2019/02/13,"Don’t know where to go from here I have been sick since the first week of December when I came off of saphris due to akathisia. I went into a severe mixed episode that I finally clawed my way out of. But I can’t shake this residual obsessive anxiety. I’ve always been an anxious person but this is different. I literally obsess over one thing for hours until another thing catches my mind. It’s causing me much distress and taking me out of my life. I get so anxious, I shake. I can’t concentrate or attend to basic things that need to get done during the day. I wake up with paralyzing anxiety every day and it takes me a good hour to get out of bed. Once I take my morning dose of seroquel, I feel a bit better. This anxiety is causing me to be depressed bc this is no way to live. I’ve been using my coping skills such as meditation and breathing but they aren’t touching this. I just don’t know what else to do. I called my psychiatrist to get an earlier appointment. I feel really hopeless. ",2.6594055555555585,4.673554485000004,4.319333333333333,83.88522222222225,76.65,7.844444444444445,26.61111111111111,8.680891452615391,2.0709277777777784,787,31,157,17,18,264,122,200,0.184,0.778,0.038,-0.973,2,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,1,3,6,9,0,5,7,0,15,5,2,3,0,23,31,11,0,1,5,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,13,9,0,0,4,0,0,7,6,7,0,2,6,3,26,2,27,24,2,27,0,2,0,0,3,8,0,1,10,105,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564562329305492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331345940437375,0.29138521103440523,0.2868701758286241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11229083313834454,0.1386136472977246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296461629007595,0.1452149228451353,0.0,0.2608574714424737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16376473009655235,0.0,0.10935536089296592,0.0,0.0,0.1326521205248984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992998020680455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060635403100862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697406799141096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12839533332914746,0.0,0.0,0.1390847049962234,0.0,0.10799694921725844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653373263260161,0.0,0.07215752632556871,0.10649279511492546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500712544667236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955404319584333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967962014370295,0.0,0.0,0.11211302848299727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819915087051398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933343894225491,0.094143448757848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352143138390735,0.08603523597901362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086154132804367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133747077330583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14343508791431206,0.0,0.10502732900944244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28638718854527195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25305108402556425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965758904304998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015589064840298,0.1018442163339658,0.0,0.0,0.11769846464357135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bchris10sen4,2019/02/13,"Does anyone else have difficulty accepting your diagnosis when hypomanic or manic? I am a 30 year old psychiatric RN, I was first diagnosed with bipolar I when I was 23 years old.  In retrospect I may have had 1-2 manic episodes before then- I was medicated a short time, felt better and then I talked myself out of my diagnosis.  I would tell myself that I was just stressed and unhappy with my life so I was essentially just rebelling.  It wasn't until what I believe to be my 3rd or 4th spring/summer manic episode that I sought treatment because I could see the cycle.  
Context:  My first episode I had been married for 5 years (got married to a man in the army when I was 18), I had two children who were 3 and 5 at the time.  A lot had changed, I was going to nursing school which was terribly stressful, I was drinking a lot and smoking a lot of pot.  My husband was lazy as fuck and would lay around all day and expect me to come home from a day of school and work and do all the shit around the house.  Anyway, I began to say things to him like ""you're not my father"", ""I'll do what I want, I'm an adult"", ""If I want to go out with my friends I will"".... Which are things I had never said to him before... but I started to feel like my life wasn't enough and I needed more.  So I started with the sexual symptoms, I was reaching out to plenty of people, men, women... everyone, my boss, his son... and I started doing really shitty things.  One time I told my husband I was leaving to pick up a friend and I ended up going to a party and getting fucked up and never came home that night... and I had a lot of nights where I drank in excess and can't recall the events... Needless to say, by the end of the summer I had looked my husband in the face and told him without any feelings whatsoever that I did not love him anymore and I was moving out.  He was DEVASTATED and I didn't care.  I took my two kids and moved into an apartment.  He would say things like, HOW do you not care? It wasn't until I came down from that episode that I realized how fucked up my choices were and actually cried about my massive life change.  

Episode 2:  I had remarried by then, I had just had the second child with my new husband.  I was terribly stressed with work and kids and I felt like my husband and I were on two separate pages and I began to resent him.  He was controlling and possessive and I began to say the same things ""You're not my dad"" ""don't tell me what to do"" ""im a professional, I go to work, I make good money, don't restrict my life"".... and I began to get sexual and unfortunately I was working in juvenile corrections at the time and I was a woman amongst a whole lot of men.... So as you can imagine that ended badly... so my husband caught me in some bad predicaments and I ended up telling him I didn't love him and I was moving out and done.  I took my kids and rented a house down by the lake in September.  By Christmas I had realized I fucked up and my husband was more than willing to take me back and work on things so I moved back home. 

Episode 3: Husband and I had been working on our marriage, I was being really restricted at this point because he couldn't trust me... I was still kind of denying my diagnosis so I never brought that up to him and he just thought I was a terrible, no good, lying, cheating person... so he kept very good tabs on me and asked me a lot of fucking questions and it got old really fast... so some summer time.... I began feeling great, increased sexual drive, defiant and making the same statements. was drinking every day, smoking an eighth of weed every day, rolling blunts on my way to work and smoking before during and after work to get by... it was terrible looking back on it.. I had many nights where I didn't go home, I would stay with friends or ""sleep"" in my car...  I had about 4 police contacts that summer, I could have easily ended up with 2 DWIs, I did have a harassment charge for punching someone, and I had 2 welfare checks because people were so worried about my erratic behavior. I had friends and family expressing their concern for me but once again I thought everyone else was crazy and needed to leave me alone because I was successful, made it to work, work performance was ok, and I still took care of my kids when it was my day to do so.  My husband grew tired of my behavior quickly, obviously... so we were talking about splitting up again...I fell so hard from this one... I ended up being caught with a belt around my neck in the garage after calling my ex to come pick up my older two kids- the other two weren't home.  That's why I decided I needed treatment... 

I fell from the last episode in October, 2018.  It's now February and I usually start to trend up in the spring and I am anticipating it.  I have trended my timeline and disease symptoms... I have red flags in place with my loved ones.  One of them is wanting to drink... I haven't drank since September- and I know when I start to want to drink is not a good sign... but anyway, ive been thinking about drinking.... and I haven't said anything to anyone because I guess I am trying to convince myself that I can..
I'm also starting to resent my husband again... he's controlling and manipulative and I don't think he understands my illness and he holds things against me... during my manic episodes everything is spinning out of control so fast that I can recall certain events but to put a timeline I really cant... like I know I did something but I don't know where it fits in and some minute details, that's hard for him to accept.  he thinks im withholding information from him or lying.. and I can only tell him the same thing so many times before it's just maddening to me... 
I'm currently on a med regime and it's hard for me to accept the amount of chemicals I put into myself every day.  I take Wellbutrin, Depakote (needs to be increased I assume), buspar, Vyvanse, and atarax. 
OK, back to the original question, am I the only one who tries to convince themselves that they're misdiagnosed? EVEN THOUGH I know that I am capable of ruining my entire life and everything I've worked so hard for, I'm intelligent, I work in the psych field and I am still trying to talk myself out of having to deal with this bullshit forever!! 
",3.2620486593356333,4.747444773418735,4.543840868613255,85.18555787487131,73.6437149719776,7.4038038594140625,27.236491233803374,8.025739664096186,1.6695177954608584,4858,181,986,72,98,1605,435,1249,0.133,0.772,0.094,-0.9953,2,1,6,0,0,0,198.0,2,3,2,20,54,53,11,3,48,2,114,31,4,13,8,193,200,101,0,17,21,14,9,5,4,7,12,6,6,14,46,88,7,8,27,5,3,28,26,21,0,13,91,19,181,32,150,95,22,168,0,1,4,8,90,58,6,19,85,697,227,18,0.0,0.0,0.036077491606986006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03828988143898953,0.0,0.0295649813560459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0251409406423568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03666441215982087,0.051700717078106286,0.037880243732498514,0.030423248153023327,0.0987337005280432,0.03456205961699927,0.0,0.0,0.11371092157592785,0.06173699050814616,0.1126831709683097,0.0,0.12583535293730458,0.04165265071205455,0.0,0.032697055458068794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03775061293800683,0.084567907333216,0.11308046459980595,0.0,0.07821894267332655,0.06369294755956421,0.0,0.0,0.1243953565079344,0.05903524459871878,0.0,0.040609926756291034,0.1430559640281314,0.0381145571520803,0.0,0.03752388057449392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032352789931612294,0.0378332553936406,0.0,0.1810831518549305,0.0,0.0,0.061767561299067075,0.0,0.1964672499213629,0.03820000345099046,0.0,0.02441840711993979,0.0,0.09344672942397103,0.07065304346195894,0.06645269697676713,0.0,0.03485212679535847,0.0,0.0560795910550618,0.02641145195737972,0.07099420116233435,0.0,0.0,0.06289350856464752,0.0,0.0,0.11425205240018135,0.17089134180423932,0.05794606535216069,0.0,0.10505481943826292,0.12403508747566533,0.059136743993084134,0.040759673683453936,0.04072674110706695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13247181746179773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18542015930624275,0.0,0.0,0.0853170799714955,0.0,0.0,0.07986811971634504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03849867751607338,0.08127121622030363,0.03013557168732821,0.0,0.0782920108860969,0.0,0.0,0.1305654001909754,0.09030863468297133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620911577459334,0.0,0.0,0.18858397837257235,0.10010089542174333,0.034982009314850154,0.0493556672423634,0.07496377198836662,0.0,0.0,0.04106545476448307,0.037243493532736316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15717349256409896,0.0,0.10965146411396892,0.0855408773793619,0.03570595989113028,0.0,0.10408182349804376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638172533643495,0.039371957574435394,0.12525950710010544,0.05623486489659869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051260834697961284,0.032280871587301765,0.03862589331837398,0.0,0.03494870108112225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433033785888707,0.0828299620993772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473598933645024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070334075997768,0.11760045240843978,0.0,0.07483144441483101,0.029460388887675392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037949283747006964,0.03058205469901285,0.0,0.03699680655068052,0.0,0.031324651842280685,0.02846139470427118,0.0,0.0,0.15700579288261834,0.039405215226105635,0.08857312605393744,0.0,0.1270473986020726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07685219392541502,0.05559383922763315,0.08914551524895373,0.12925401279996904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19649037169791744,0.07106685568305128,0.03632294259825369,0.058700271001996325,0.1293454008192578,0.042491699682568884,0.0,0.07065304346195894,0.12322544815562755,0.07530082798382992,0.0,0.18057211374782456,0.03848718539671011,0.0,0.0,0.04071734996292795,0.030504210247509805,0.08722370831218731,0.029345150263764375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03335977139890452,0.04127580438940804,0.0,0.03563786404153292,0.0,0.3229761400790603,0.03754493841443536,0.0,0.10505001366993184,0.0,0.0,0.07142261073676442
bipolarreddit,abitsickandtired,2019/02/13,"Anyone else just starting lamictal? Posted this on the BP2 subreddit, figured I'd do it here too. Just reached 100mg of lamictal after titrating for a month. Just looking for some solidarity and seeing if anyone else is in the same boat as me. ",4.286304347826088,6.551844369565224,5.568913043478261,75.61902173913045,72.69565217391305,8.078260869565218,31.06521739130435,8.841846274778883,2.9221478260869564,195,9,33,4,4,65,39,46,0.0,0.919,0.081,0.3818,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,5,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,7,5,2,6,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,2,3,24,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3980655259149446,0.5833117989595056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4755743858610581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390329453792953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272036180807855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27261446020314856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268279021839215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20147558566448664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BanannyMousse,2019/05/10,"Should I discontinue Abilify? First, I want to say that I will obviously consult with my care practitioner. What I’m actually asking is whether I should press to discontinue.

Since I recently started Abilify I have been highly anxious (constant butterflies), fatigued, and possibly hypomanic. I started on a low dose and doubled after a week, but couldn’t take the 2-week migraine, higher anxiety, disrupted sleep, and deep fatigue; so self-reduced.

My mood has been elevated, and I’ve been spending even though I shouldn’t be. 

However, I’m also leaving the house, exercising, and practicing better self-care. I’m also friendlier.

So I’m still anxious, really fatigued, and spending. The headaches have died down some. I think I may be hypomanic since starting it??? 

Not sure if this is a good med for me.",5.890531914893618,8.453217148936172,6.7343439716312075,67.70875000000002,69.0,10.090070921985816,37.991134751773046,10.317481424215053,4.8277560283687935,642,37,98,19,12,212,93,141,0.166,0.73,0.10400000000000001,-0.7807,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,2,7,9,0,0,6,0,16,7,1,0,2,21,28,14,1,6,4,0,1,0,0,5,6,1,0,0,4,7,0,0,1,1,2,0,3,4,0,1,3,2,13,4,7,17,2,14,0,4,0,0,3,5,0,3,9,66,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.14866914448338275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24366441729110594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116545389835086,0.3442185314277225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424243096171347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473894790222946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15532838880056013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16463348173217826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581126108209106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062406044508457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12958667156967568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12778182129323792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16096345584711294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17578851417051491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16131396280424656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692236836796756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717488704180227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759768389572332,0.0,0.15042473732309386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115281489689275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31786325285765216,0.0,0.0,0.25204678629962485,0.0,0.15245748341998966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3234969487495377,0.0,0.12166487827651375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14358567800368316,0.0,0.11454632997431705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761810078722674,0.14968060584776702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985847903939365,0.0,0.2444078857596392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cosmicgrey,2019/05/10,"Nihilistic I don't know how I feel right now but it makes little sense. Not sure if I'm happy or depressed. I feel really happy and outgoing like I want to go do a lot of things and meet people but I'm also feeling super nihilistic like I can barely have a conversation without getting cynical about everything. Lot's of irrational thoughts like thinking people are being assholes to me when they're not. I just feel generally like my wires are all mixed up in my head but also I don't care.

What should I do? Paint? Exercise? Watch a movie?",1.4075033377837125,4.067174616822431,3.3813684913217616,84.4326401869159,87.87850467289721,6.795460614152204,22.59612817089453,7.957251820313856,1.6753156208277704,432,16,81,10,14,145,73,107,0.139,0.5660000000000001,0.295,0.9654,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,7,11,1,0,3,0,10,2,1,2,2,27,24,11,0,3,9,0,4,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,7,1,0,1,5,2,0,0,1,5,11,9,8,21,3,7,0,1,1,0,2,4,0,4,6,53,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891710985106498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843374642826308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15572261844612115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16249121851583265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36567128193828574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446044274734294,0.0,0.1027527031894716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3849295367644436,0.0,0.0,0.18555277417319527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09936285173284846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3533186343908378,0.18120891560521954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30741907986103306,0.0,0.0,0.12068528255034495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506876581735275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582499315238193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15440205682875416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17040168893070903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12011536542672592,0.1158492230953906,0.0,0.1435348600773676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664041710806713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742845728423882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ohemult,2019/05/10,"Anyone else feel really paranoid? Before I was diagnosed, I was put on antidepressants which a dosage steadily increasing which triggered a very long-lasting episode. I remember going through fences around building sites and picking up leftover tools and junk and drag them to my student dorm room. I was convinced someone was out to get me, that I was gonna be hurt, and needed to have these things in my room / in front of my door to feel safe. I started exercising to get stronger so I could hold of a potential attacker.   


After I got diagnosed and medicated I met another bipolar girl and she told me how she would walk through her house at night holding a knife because she thought there was a killer roaming. She was found out when her parents woke up with her holding the knife by their bed waiting for the ""killer"".   


Anyone else here who experienced paranoid symptoms during hypomania/mania?",8.561481481481483,8.76072008641976,7.527530864197531,73.1538888888889,61.09876543209877,10.409876543209878,40.839506172839506,9.994966539143718,4.207254320987655,722,37,121,13,9,221,110,162,0.11199999999999999,0.8370000000000001,0.05,-0.8763,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,0,6,4,1,0,7,0,11,6,0,3,0,27,26,9,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,2,6,0,5,1,6,10,0,6,5,1,0,5,0,2,0,0,13,3,23,2,22,9,1,21,0,1,0,0,14,12,0,0,4,80,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17000774869043025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22673054127107034,0.33224328985512186,0.0,0.1443303344555143,0.0,0.18444661426254855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883312181990814,0.0,0.13796093794699585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294478463588441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3291176693117401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708781115196954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16395589529851792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17776749795476848,0.0,0.0,0.16941277290185236,0.0,0.09214238184893034,0.0,0.12967040625669213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18707659017940365,0.17356383199590364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132157828098568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348020742911338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16332921330173958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12021755797006906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15214829704418642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800265036338503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16298572522840038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386481732764814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836620166428867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737247119026372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475665591894445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685154530860218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10771216253712362,0.0,0.0,0.12871334257254596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549224429748003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13377447144525678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517270845554295,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,black-coffee-cat,2019/05/10,"What a difference a week makes Last Friday I spent the day crying after being triggered by a dream. Today I had my first cuppa and holy fuck I feel like I'm channeling pure energy through my body and trying to focus on work. I had been having trouble sleeping for the past week, but I finally slept great the past few nights. Maybe that has something to do with it.

​

Just bp2 things I guess. Jesus.",3.5298191681735998,5.692370227848103,4.046871609403259,86.14962025316456,74.56962025316456,6.53960216998192,22.678119349005428,7.447530270364453,0.9857688969258588,324,9,60,4,7,102,63,79,0.078,0.789,0.133,0.6486,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,1,4,1,0,6,0,7,4,3,2,1,10,14,3,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,1,5,1,8,2,8,8,1,12,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,12,39,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20687655649026368,0.23200531318317302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21208426939299216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097316758235424,0.12313642446845202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19948505163430214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654180271457076,0.13640305517409268,0.0,0.2091585075905785,0.0,0.16240808594468115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17651510536046258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21050505013105544,0.2103349684543196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15563642825099971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328054890156387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12744971031653501,0.0,0.1918185392104447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17917831926511432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645355937073068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910715644615537,0.0,0.0,0.14699007076336013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268478492546497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18098279808560588,0.0,0.0,0.12963143173282052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.306310953396676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390019890052845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23200531318317302,0.0
bipolarreddit,trollhuntress,2019/05/10,"Trileptal & sexual dysfunction Hi fellow bipolar bears!

I  have been on trileptal and abilify for two years now. It's great! No severe manic nor depressive episodes since buttt it is extremely difficult and rare for me to reach climax. Even by myself. I'm trying to weigh out the pros and cons of mental stability and a healthy sexual life.

Anyone had these side effects with Trileptal?",3.837246376811596,7.0975683768115925,4.330434782608695,77.67072463768119,82.6231884057971,7.7043478260869565,26.507246376811594,8.515128840125781,2.8191855072463774,314,13,48,8,9,99,59,69,0.141,0.73,0.129,-0.2247,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,1,0,7,5,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,6,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,3,1,9,3,0,5,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,30,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3541264855782517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228531211856534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815032217191781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21587198345027125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3603376567363384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23085381262390706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32937364433356553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36923145811729097,0.0,0.2703619762514989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22190007470557094,0.0,0.3192711150984119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21047155897885056
bipolarreddit,lionelliee,2019/05/10,"Food & Mood I’m really interested in gut health & how your diet affects your mood. Does anyone know of or follow a meal plan specifically to help with mood swings? 

I’m thinking of trying Whole30 to see how it affects my MH, but I’m curious to hear other people’s general experiences with food & mood!",3.9595,5.938975950000002,5.6099999999999985,76.215,72.83333333333334,8.8,27.0,9.3871,2.5594,247,9,45,6,5,84,43,60,0.0,0.88,0.12,0.726,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,1,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,6,1,4,0,11,8,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,4,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,8,8,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,0,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.661098733767174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14221067042183316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17798251963277573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19894836667736146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4918649569467693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21618745134302333,0.2292283056329164,0.0,0.13632386302028515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177440853698968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14100070716169755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13029285973208884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16207054336499346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13032011627214835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380842386218321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kellysam401,2019/05/10,"Not again  Thoughts racing. Poor sleep. Pls lord let me sleep tonight. 3 days with little sleep..feels like I’m slipping into a manic. Maybe I am already? Idk. I’m keeping low keyed and trying not to alert anyone of the crazy going on in my head right now. I keep telling myself I just need to sleep and I’ll be fine. I don’t want to eat but I keep eating to try and swallow any manic trying to come out. 
 Lines become blurred everything becomes connected in a certain way. No no no no. Everything begins to rhyme. Everything is connected. My heart is racing. STOP STOP. I CAN STOP THISI CAN CONTROL IT. I need to believe this.",0.20612903225806534,2.567112838709684,1.6731612903225823,94.10974193548388,98.03225806451613,4.092903225806452,19.90967741935484,5.985473137389443,0.16204322580645236,488,17,97,5,20,156,84,124,0.23600000000000002,0.703,0.061,-0.9715,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,3,0,8,8,5,1,1,24,20,4,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,7,3,7,1,0,1,2,7,1,0,0,1,0,11,3,14,17,0,19,1,1,0,0,1,8,0,1,9,51,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339114321021974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08252135371519209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484991118716417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26804045898660706,0.0,0.13671855685438594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453125699423436,0.0,0.0,0.13610301169644135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782599451134841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.248340259864687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3271814641240613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06135760571426065,0.08669161588308892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896532661745186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453889073878782,0.0,0.0,0.1437989270617757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3235812005228372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240873823954415,0.0,0.05928490021295345,0.12162338958289065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191119252617368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17995721369893175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036312228201551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4857457965685793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3043591226228322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606421077384083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633740231605106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471636343881025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157467364063194,0.0963210390251553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,misslennox,2019/05/10,"I need to SCREAM right now about how much this sucks I’m on good meds and seeing a good therapist and still wind up depressed. It takes a while but I get moving and quickly find that my son is experiencing depression. It’s not the first time but this is the worst it’s ever been for him and it’s on the decline since February. 

He’s had a therapist for a few years now and when the suicidal ideation started we found a psychiatrist to get some meds going. He started on lexapro 2 weeks ago, god I can’t express how desperate I am for them to work quickly. 

Two months ago my 10 year old asked me to hide the knives in the kitchen because seeing them made him want to cut himself. Nearly everyday he tells me he doesn’t want to live anymore, that he’s trying to find a way to kill himself so that it looks like an accident. And a few days ago he showed me how he’s begun to self harm: my tiny, beautiful, almost 11 year old has stuck thumbtacks through his perfect porcelain skin all along his arm. 

I’m in a terrifying holding pattern waiting for the lexapro to take effect. I hate this shit. Fighting is hard as an adult and to ask so much of a child isn’t fair. 

There’s no advice that can help, no solace that soothes, and no drink that can make me sleep at night.  I need a break.",3.5609765859515754,4.61977143346008,4.210702421452872,89.52822893736244,72.30798479087453,7.3619371622973775,27.53031819091455,7.669130373188453,1.3498562737642583,1009,36,221,12,19,321,154,263,0.251,0.653,0.095,-0.9947,1,0,1,1,2,1,20.0,1,0,2,4,14,15,6,0,19,0,12,6,4,6,3,33,37,18,2,4,3,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,3,14,10,2,2,4,2,0,2,7,11,0,2,5,7,22,4,28,32,7,39,0,2,3,0,26,9,2,2,27,132,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964017585902293,0.2983745958103501,0.0,0.11235171811516796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112718799328608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097830087208964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06839585053639677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723594766483212,0.0,0.19327474672325407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991291851746557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014909851571182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20509685077110168,0.0954369444552415,0.0,0.12302109855943498,0.0,0.0,0.11723934730570865,0.0,0.06376563302827477,0.1882154458237678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10050882653486558,0.1107739017949523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07520504415990334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413226227723788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05481506978233397,0.0,0.09907432524335466,0.0,0.09421942754027199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10616599887991338,0.07489412151842506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24925698151240785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895566709295314,0.11925044588868608,0.16495926975056122,0.16638920182556058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052917482760856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23546926670228374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581786745209417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788171505816292,0.0,0.1170486796206786,0.0,0.11517130361256706,0.09281268996582663,0.0,0.11228065510669608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15883094537053916,0.0,0.08960276616091825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12272817997515252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687203104901542,0.0,0.09806741841670424,0.0,0.0,0.2605448268612271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06542450413537702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07617618099478496,0.0,0.10960273124023807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13235649267068458,0.08905884055982914,0.08999977210281268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168266393080956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21675864137000614
bipolarreddit,arkmedmarseyy_3,2019/05/10,"It all fun and games till i got addicted to HEROIN :( Does luck can kill a person???  Ever since i got hooked on to heroin i started to have these weird terrible phobias of DEATH... Iam now 35yrs old and since 21yrs iam a addict most often i used hash oil.... but this never occurred to me before especially regarding fear of dying , all my life subject of death been a entertaining factor since i love metal music and horror movies. Also at a very young age i was diagnosed with bi-polar mood disorder so i have history with prescription medication such as olanzapine , diazepam , clonazepam , lithium and among others as well. But none of these substances didn't gave such nightmare fuel like HEROIN... i can literally feel my mortality , its like once in a while i get this sudden realization or rather reminder of inevitable DEATH, burial and afterlife. when such episode spans over more time not only i obsess about each factor more deeply also my mind go more grim details that my mind cant handle. Loneliness is the key factor to all this i suppose.. the people i know are not in any resource to me or either intellectually have different mindset. which then brings me the question does luck can obliterate a person? because all the unfortunate things have happened to me in a rather well designed cascading manner where some interference beyond my control. So i wish i could find some friends to talk about this matter.... LOCATION : MALDIVE",6.107529182879379,8.25305884824903,6.31799805447471,72.65295038910509,67.52140077821012,8.71976653696498,30.748832684824905,9.255337874911486,3.023714552529183,1152,46,181,23,20,368,169,257,0.182,0.669,0.15,-0.9142,1,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,1,19,17,1,2,11,0,14,6,0,2,6,41,27,19,7,4,9,0,1,2,1,0,5,0,0,2,12,8,0,2,4,2,0,2,6,6,2,0,6,2,23,10,28,20,13,25,0,1,0,1,8,10,0,9,15,131,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882804560738786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114739099522343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991470269317453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060059454632977,0.0,0.1125101931208785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482969108161666,0.10556757883532857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13420136556328632,0.13722435304580025,0.13814263210695438,0.15153653341433665,0.0,0.2314146896393094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11960131617053807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487852003577139,0.06685482759775797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084744894672927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215349009594857,0.0,0.06907992972494137,0.0,0.07514414826915597,0.0,0.2114981626988988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692244882661157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14628276515988495,0.0,0.07266511372738632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339148687545988,0.1291928437150898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193344669584177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331985821807036,0.0,0.0,0.267010705370598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197686006916784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138743525701846,0.14081087538106435,0.0,0.10055990406440314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166527969732877,0.23090026842978856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14811759675580394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3281233262261544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358658843206123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10627409973853877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878416484322193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770990329070335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141963499789386,0.0,0.10909603718939508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23776482173905306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15204743638603388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Brandnewthings,2019/07/24,"How can I stop the frivolous purchases? So, I have a lot of interest recently and I can’t seem to stop the frivolous spending. These interests include: home decor, plants, flowers, rompers, makeup, bags, wallets, hair styling tools, vibrators, dildos, lube for the dildos since they’re too thicc, etc. How can I control these urges when shopping makes me feel so good? 

I told myself I would stop but made two dumb arse purchases yesterday!! 👿",6.083846153846152,8.156432769230772,5.667179487179487,77.58615384615388,67.46153846153847,9.815384615384616,34.7948717948718,10.125756701596842,3.9265487179487177,348,17,58,9,6,107,62,78,0.132,0.792,0.076,-0.6512,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,6,4,1,0,4,0,5,1,1,5,0,14,10,7,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,4,2,1,4,0,1,1,0,1,2,2,8,3,3,7,2,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,6,33,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667310799868388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652279166959983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024701168313152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19946893779272226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385490297940401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20218282109397892,0.0,0.22502742996032526,0.15874415408167108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23481479812946315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21649892842060492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19672401061603886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5964749528254366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272435617694862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323118624402581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689377987173452,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Jake_The_Scrub_Lord,2019/07/24,"Hypersexuality is so terrifying I forgot to take my lamictal for one fucking day, and my hypersexuality is back and raging like a mother fucker. Most people have high sex drives but it’s nothing compared to this.


I feel like I need it to breathe or like I’m dying of dehydration. I legitimately feel starved and have an insatiable feeling that I need sex right now or I’m going to explode. This feeling is so wild and disturbing, and anyone I’ve recounted this to cannot relate at all. It’s this feeling of intense urgency and insatiable feeling of lust, after I’m done masturbating, it kicks right back up in an hour. 


I’m glad to know that it’s just a symptom of something that will pass, now that I’ve had my meds, but goddamn. I legitimately feel like I’m going crazy and there’s nothing I can do about it.",3.799346153846152,5.6086260500000025,5.803750000000001,75.3739423076923,72.875,8.173076923076923,29.80769230769231,8.841846274778883,2.5109711538461537,648,28,123,13,13,225,85,160,0.145,0.715,0.14,-0.6972,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,9,9,3,1,4,0,11,7,1,0,1,25,31,13,1,2,5,1,7,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,14,7,0,1,8,0,0,4,1,4,0,1,3,7,10,5,16,27,2,17,0,0,0,5,1,6,2,3,11,77,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850393365812007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386443165234739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007685068698301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16105006861362564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15880077744765606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5492379474162432,0.22171811866119848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434593859567681,0.0,0.0,0.17638225236333746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16395387739075565,0.0,0.0,0.15281888584689635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528166678772066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032481608823501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17236756591497587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301247615146929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2977945900391593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10515250090559466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758075558071499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26504200578324205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946346036726675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16128916236435392,0.11667440190901605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,anonsweet,2019/07/24,"I don’t have bipolar but I don’t know where else to go I’m extremely angry. MAJORLY. I want to fucking run. Run run run run run fuck off everyone just go and leave fucking town. The last few weeks have been depression manic depression calm manic agitated BLAH BLAH BLAH. I’m convinced my brain is dying, I have a tumour or something is very wrong. I am going to loose my mind. I am depressed and sad and lonely but there’s this driving urge to FUCK SHIT UP.  All day it’s been lingering under the depression, the Fucking urge to run so fast, knife to skin, buy a rope. Yday morning I made a jump for the window then I went to work.  Everybody around me is a fucking cunt and I don’t know why but I can’t STAND ANYONe.  I can’t think like the girl I was when I wasn’t like this. I’m raging. When I quit my job on Friday. I’m going to run, fuck when my cries for help aren’t enough or urgent enough then I run run run, Cos nobody can help me.  Then am I really just threatening when I finally go, what it feel like for people to not know where I am. I’m going to travel across the country, book into a hotel and buy food and paint and read books. Nobody think it’s serious. Just a “blip” they say. “Keep distracted” when I tell them I’m loosing my ability to keep sane. Fuck fuck fuck everybody. I never wanted to die",0.20648484848484827,2.457624290909095,2.3778181818181814,92.85739393939394,87.9090909090909,5.660606060606061,18.151515151515152,7.106945922332613,0.254006060606061,1020,27,224,16,33,343,137,275,0.324,0.57,0.106,-0.9978,2,2,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,2,2,13,27,13,1,12,0,21,15,3,2,2,33,55,21,2,2,9,0,2,6,0,0,1,1,1,1,6,9,1,2,6,5,2,21,9,22,0,0,6,3,29,5,22,49,5,46,0,6,0,10,7,10,12,2,17,123,35,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05604399617405966,0.0,0.0,0.07135208751920966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947590699963649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804297922290179,0.05169127466553815,0.0,0.2761384819666419,0.0,0.16636981029007353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06695653686768377,0.0,0.0,0.16563645289654788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658847151937287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04052715402747156,0.057260455796562686,0.0,0.08780236969824169,0.0,0.0,0.09691986432350938,0.0,0.0,0.7409903960742136,0.0,0.0,0.2733126609336472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744811250631624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953828534758448,0.14248518991058876,0.0,0.0,0.1321479852212924,0.06533440771416027,0.0,0.08486917409541991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11747434997493192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584156301896278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093046061419315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06181800273462491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05556716011020702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08525129624083433,0.08017348162050776,0.0,0.051347289979524674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373992158454309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227466206754844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061704764887682735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005619852331704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10271606309280128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613362208579912,0.0945512064668364,0.0,0.06429293238552278,0.0,0.0,0.07430151364113607,0.07232452493156756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05835145874784714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876334014650295,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kargasmn,2019/07/24,"Identity Anyone else feel like they just have no fucking clue who they are? My mind is ever racing , always changing, I'm this one week, that the next. I'm super fucking productive, make all these goals, then I fall into a depressed state and it's like none of that ever existed.

I love this, then hate it. Change my mind about this and that. Feel this strongly for a few months, then all of a sudden 360 flip. 

Back and forth and back and forth and I'm just so fucking tired. I'm off my meds because they make me feel like a sack of chemicals and I feel like shit all the time. Too tired. I can tell I'm hypomanic yes I know I should get back on them. I will. I will. I have to I know. That's just so frustrating.

I don't know what direction to take my life in. I shouldn't be thinking about this now. And shouldn't be acting on it for sure I know. But the rawest version of me doesn't even funtion properly that makes me sad. 

Does your sense of identity solidify when your on meds consistently? Or do you still feel as confused ?",0.6058018867924561,2.925982089622643,2.02191698113208,95.67025283018869,86.59433962264151,5.467471698113208,18.85735849056604,6.918507183188421,0.1009692075471702,801,22,181,11,25,257,113,212,0.133,0.7509999999999999,0.115,-0.7139,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,3,4,3,17,17,6,1,7,1,15,8,1,3,6,39,40,17,0,3,5,0,5,4,0,5,3,0,0,0,16,9,0,0,10,0,0,2,6,9,0,1,0,5,27,8,18,33,6,25,0,2,0,4,10,6,4,2,20,118,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669963648899953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08125976517738047,0.11907531982252785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26808495048736,0.0,0.07084317997751728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458787140014001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000952364788436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10169994774750343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970821646275992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675847224998147,0.21024503887864185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29380729822975754,0.2490706325184633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32231484027304924,0.0607171934882596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147375959232432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554734370807641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08208562170447932,0.227105815549648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048879746835718,0.0,0.2327219131735657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25817585516448016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346866988136189,0.0,0.09276117347896527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12359526373721565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874984107328217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11929234487300534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928089180825872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953063543440897,0.0,0.08737871689713095,0.0,0.10157645117854064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446545336402463,0.0,0.0,0.06776551333236057,0.26714256461680724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932201296279251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,poliarity,2019/07/24,i’m SO ducking horny god damn I would fuck a bucket at this point.,-2.6020000000000003,-1.3347765333333328,-0.2666666666666657,105.88000000000004,114.33333333333334,2.0,11.666666666666668,3.1291,-2.0083333333333333,52,1,13,0,3,17,14,15,0.34,0.494,0.166,-0.4899,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6159211604095636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6298050064277101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4732724141953856,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,therealmissfrizzle,2019/07/24,Opinions on wellbutrin? I’m bp2 and have been on lamotrigine for 1.5 years and love it. I refused antidepressants and antipsychotics up til now because I was originally against being on meds at all. Now I realize how much help they can be and my psych is working with me to try out something that will help me be happier and have energy and focus. She suggested wellbutrin and I’m just curious to know if any of you have been prescribed it and how it worked for you.,4.571238095238094,6.332010600000004,5.2887301587301625,80.04500000000002,70.77777777777777,9.142857142857146,31.74603174603175,9.606745405546679,3.0799365079365084,374,17,71,9,7,121,62,90,0.023,0.799,0.17800000000000002,0.9349,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,1,2,5,1,0,0,0,0,12,1,0,3,1,20,16,12,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,10,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,10,1,14,9,2,11,0,0,0,1,9,6,0,2,5,56,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22530190673643824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019632728736939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.444139717132756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18207910592627752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29901987261032176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36801030602050144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24355069604660415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25505833637931624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22493748828430246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4823947071388349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133525366983371
bipolarreddit,IaMaMeSs_,2019/07/24,"The mania is fighting for control I’m so stressed out, I can feel another episode is about to happen. I have worked so hard for the life I have now. I have a boyfriend, about to graduate college, and my life is moving forward. I’ll buy a house and have kids and get a good job. That’s what I’ve worked so hard for. But suddenly my mind keeps screaming that that’s not what I want. That I should just leave everything and go explore my sexuality, move around the country, say fuck getting a job, and just living a free life of drinking and doing whatever I want. I’m so so so scared I’m going to give in and the mania will completely consume me. It’s going to destroy everything I have worked so hard for. It’s been two years since my last serious manic episode, I really wanted that one to be my last. I just needed someone to tell and this seemed like the place to go.",3.4887942955920472,4.599777983146068,4.533146067415731,86.94966724286951,72.53932584269663,7.724114088159032,27.73725151253241,8.139509932561175,1.6592976663785648,683,25,145,10,13,223,96,178,0.171,0.78,0.049,-0.9475,2,0,1,0,2,0,18.0,0,0,0,4,14,10,3,2,10,0,14,5,0,1,0,26,33,16,0,5,5,0,4,1,0,2,3,2,0,1,10,10,1,2,3,1,2,8,1,7,0,2,1,6,16,4,17,29,0,17,0,0,0,1,5,5,1,1,7,90,26,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310257756058637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112360710682829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13101250325460584,0.0,0.14014719030156075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224079209506537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246022447468344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06318079179367236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11551849879155338,0.13056722495293388,0.1198678223092244,0.2840582771297494,0.10480597606198047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049692536441744,0.0,0.33580428923014505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14418081243220676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24799628628079895,0.11106537497452322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20370932574999745,0.0,0.13230886172241274,0.0,0.0,0.26477735264301816,0.061046497712225624,0.0,0.11033718634903512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616850860944476,0.0,0.0,0.2656138941730119,0.0,0.09265224024084637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846724595102638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055094434604544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800491057222176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09936889996885054,0.12510133641046442,0.0,0.0,0.11375395969207502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033637225705105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058736129573349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14313505301998322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921581342123217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12206247129630092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211043521180514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.272905274584967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804666548636095
bipolarreddit,steellotus1982,2019/07/24,"Lamictal + pristique Hey guys. 

Long term struggles with anxiety and depression, was diagnosed with bipolar II this year. I'm 37, and have tried many antidepressants.  I also smoke weed. 

I've been on pristique for a few years, and started lamictal recently (a few months ago) currently on 100 mg of pristique and 100 mg of lamictal in the am, 25 mg in pm. 

The thing is, i'm not really sure if the lamictal is making a difference or not. How did you know? What felt different? What should i be looking for? 

Thank you!",2.8386734693877567,5.359473071428575,4.366693877551022,81.21044897959185,78.48979591836735,9.226122448979591,29.18775510204081,9.642632912329526,3.309070204081633,403,19,76,13,10,134,68,98,0.111,0.8640000000000001,0.025,-0.8132,2,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,1,6,0,9,2,0,2,1,16,17,8,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,4,2,4,2,10,11,3,13,0,1,1,0,4,4,0,2,9,45,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19239399846694769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17356783254115446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16603598450054144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869373357194686,0.22029232967928705,0.0,0.4535238837121777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2083936646254171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21490498956425694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928021091460107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920747021788614,0.18226001126377708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14487673920226654,0.22004579110734585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17324027834265962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13904220109889434,0.0,0.21430207912999946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15362293450518694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268986697073672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045588370441241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998224494485698,0.0,0.0,0.14419258175787386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14735678159588345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795349356212988
bipolarreddit,pristiq,2019/07/24,"Lithium, Contrave and Weight Hey all. I posted not too long ago about making the switch from Lithium to Latuda. Long story short, that was a massive failure so now I'm back on lithium. I unfortunately have the weight gain side effect from it, but damn if it doesn't work beautifully and make me feel and act like the person I want to be.

​

Anyway, has anyone figured out what to do about the weight gain? Methods that work, tips, tricks, etc? I'm not eating any worse than I ever have been, but the weight came on quick. I'm working on adjusting my diet to improve it, but I'm not sure how much that will help. I also have loose joints so I can't do heavy impact exercise without risking blowing out a knee or something.

​

Also, has anyone tried Contrave? My psych prescribed it to me but it isn't covered by my benefits so I'm curious if it's worth it. I'm thinking of trying it for a month and seeing how it goes, but it's close to $150 for the month so I'd like to hear other's experiences first.

​

Thanks all <3",2.929333333333332,4.79055736190476,3.962857142857146,87.43047619047621,75.38095238095238,6.0,25.0,6.691623216298621,0.8962857142857144,826,28,164,7,18,267,122,210,0.08199999999999999,0.736,0.183,0.9747,0,0,2,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,7,16,8,2,1,9,0,14,8,1,5,4,34,29,20,0,3,12,0,5,2,0,1,1,1,0,1,15,8,6,0,5,1,1,2,7,3,0,1,3,7,11,5,22,24,4,21,0,0,1,0,4,8,1,3,12,105,26,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943618525488506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613693249179638,0.0,0.3279548739285549,0.3677906986010922,0.06861118176267822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14109445414824465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758103425437565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11539552445291247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10323945222332152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11252315533646053,0.0,0.09126413586479283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09869340717107528,0.0,0.0,0.05101489067561015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582013714617061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113714542525769,0.0,0.06762692624671783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09858313954305252,0.0,0.0,0.17857551465979524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346946681254568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16106479153115308,0.0,0.07416848493176904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809649485439502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09662828341357138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039922314465943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767290623900132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950911264965737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928893715467814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06464861467642577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370004108484409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059509723503938274,0.0,0.0,0.4914454254795738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725793486293406,0.0,0.2203554648889948,0.0,0.10281930883687974,0.0,0.0,0.3677906986010922,0.0
bipolarreddit,minormanic47,2019/07/24,"Do you ever just feel guilty? So, not really sure how to explain this but most days I feel pretty guilty. I'm not doing anything illigal or immoral but as I suffer from depression and anxiety and have some Bipolar symptoms.

I can never pinpoint my feelings exactly and my therapist has me writing a journal of my mood swings to share with her in two weeks. 

Have you ever just felt guilty for not reason?",3.766363636363636,6.097911090909093,4.790909090909089,80.30636363636366,74.45454545454545,7.5168831168831165,29.181818181818183,8.418075326091056,2.49445974025974,322,14,55,6,7,105,59,77,0.282,0.6409999999999999,0.077,-0.9625,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,0,6,5,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,2,5,27,12,9,0,0,8,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,1,4,10,2,8,11,2,6,0,2,0,0,6,1,0,3,5,45,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18593499718177786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20001203588120764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15674917673866645,0.0,0.20934132498280886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4397109848401201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3686849320589004,0.0,0.23336914320944044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874575757510043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472724363220829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15570607388054972,0.24989912227045116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290747207824876,0.2526252899040318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822034445640457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374276139905613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19496257901847047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,justcallmemags,2019/07/24,2 yr job mark Is it true that we BP people change jobs every two years? I didn’t know that till reddit. Even on meds? When I wasn’t diagnosed and not on meds I couldn’t keep a job. I am an ER nurse now and I feel like the anxiety is really getting to me even though I’m stable on meds. I want to switch specialties but I don’t know if it’s because of the 2 year itch- any experience with this would help! Thank you!,-0.7119861660079039,1.3049763586956544,1.6522529644268786,98.11330039525691,89.7608695652174,5.519367588932806,14.885375494071145,6.980632752743323,-0.4581217391304353,323,6,81,5,11,109,68,92,0.016,0.8170000000000001,0.16699999999999998,0.8955,3,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,4,0,8,2,1,0,1,15,16,7,0,4,3,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,0,1,1,2,1,10,3,8,12,0,8,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,6,46,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203640537921393,0.0,0.12603414935710955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043074840844413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17428483075366746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16721891019313548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21763311068760385,0.0,0.13880991709948332,0.0,0.0,0.16115820031085834,0.0,0.0,0.08330311219355736,0.11769822697744678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607565590959408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104291972368984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4904701699632066,0.1464383577612719,0.0,0.0,0.1810858045378631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08048907118088032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5490040332051911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421767661751435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10554378072292013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15168068846318306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16186713056581878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609378966668314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717447411930294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11703446267228787,0.0,0.0,0.2121886284627046
bipolarreddit,serenity_writes,2019/07/24,"I would love some advice I'm a writer and I recently decided to start writing a novel where I wanted to bring awareness to a disorder. I ditched having an autistic character because I wasn't educated enough and I thought about having a character with bipolar disorder. Again I'm not very educated and don't have bipolar disorder. I would love to either have advice, education or anything that I should know expressed toward me. Also, tell me if I shouldn't write about it at all- be honest! I want to be respectful and if writing about this is disrespectful let me know! Please give me insight on how I can represent this community respectfully and what I should know.",4.285940860215057,6.98913173387097,5.75935483870968,72.17569892473121,74.40322580645163,8.97204301075269,32.10752688172043,9.516144504307137,3.7232978494623663,541,27,87,15,12,182,74,124,0.065,0.742,0.193,0.9411,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,5,0,16,4,0,1,1,30,29,10,0,9,5,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,6,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,0,16,5,12,19,4,8,0,0,0,2,8,4,0,4,3,71,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3327082458925222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613887395635724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400909642312507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377520502863632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5853207999115561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17590085352390464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16330733025992164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806742475511455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740793862753954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30729199568061344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868696628506386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680890019315456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204949846478521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14879508585695392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13514956594942326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14046377313797045,0.20082098630328832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24186368321859075,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,prometheanbane,2019/07/24,"PSA: Pro-suicide users spreading harmful, disturbing information. I just received a direct message from /u/ComprehensiveBeat6 containing disturbing pro-suicide resources. Be on a lookout for these targeted aggressions. The message title was ctb. Don't know what that means, but if you receive something suspiciously similar, do not open the message, just delete it.",9.486249999999998,13.161673696428574,8.163714285714287,56.48128571428572,62.03571428571429,10.90857142857143,48.7,10.793553405168565,7.0442471428571425,301,21,33,9,5,92,47,56,0.174,0.826,0.0,-0.8176,0,0,1,0,0,2,14.0,0,1,0,0,2,4,1,2,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,10,6,2,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,3,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,3,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,1,0,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097185197109685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41567652826853424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937759193911593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8348214632618987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,xxunicorn_loverxx,2019/07/24,"Is changing one's mind a bipolar issue? My boyfriend (28) and I (21F) have been dating for a year. He was diagnosed bipolar 1 a few months ago and is having a manic episode around me for the first time. He moved to another state and wanted me to move tI that state too, and I did after him. Before he moved our relationship was kind of rocky. A few months before he moved he wantex to have kids and proposed to me; then he changed his mind and didn't want to get married (but still be together) and didn't want kids. Now he's changed his mind again. Some days he want's to talk to me 24/7 and others he doesn't seem to want to talk at all . It's not just on those topics either, it's a lot of things he doesn't seem to be a big deal, but I end up getting my feelings hurt when he does stuff like that. I understand he's not a neurotypical guy - I have severe medical issues and some mild mental health issues - so I understand the need for understanding and patience, but how do I handle these situations. Lately iv'e just been shutting down conversations because I don't know any other way to protect how I'm feeling emotionally. Is there a better way to respond when he talks about important subjects that he keeps changing his mind on -I really do love him, and I want to be able to be there for him, I just need some help understanding.",5.939,5.486877122222222,6.376666666666669,81.40500000000002,66.66666666666667,9.422222222222222,30.222222222222207,8.841846274778883,2.1303777777777784,1053,33,220,15,15,342,141,270,0.048,0.8590000000000001,0.092,0.9388,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,0,0,2,16,5,0,0,11,0,23,6,0,2,1,50,45,20,0,8,9,0,2,1,0,0,5,0,0,3,11,12,0,2,9,0,0,4,7,1,0,2,7,2,24,4,28,34,8,33,0,1,0,1,33,8,0,6,18,138,35,0,0.08351387944360465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403001518761126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056792301834604375,0.08757158430590957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434505867545001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050909285761017234,0.0,0.14212832063727895,0.0,0.0,0.07386123968444186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3533864436243899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05385954331025862,0.08609914262421585,0.0,0.08476482968190692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308355869120063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939418737131898,0.0739685089543433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445425351599431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103686319164504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08726511020204801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269187068259065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887713485634877,0.0,0.0,0.055977592994022884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940333521951736,0.0,0.0,0.2615003776561921,0.0,0.07423097328044857,0.0,0.08696685397849828,0.045897044065573565,0.0,0.09420729362093024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04080066304715267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100051381836195,0.07537453679740129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413144743370331,0.08416234780507696,0.0,0.3373008444286106,0.0,0.1333199636059995,0.355048148638502,0.0,0.12384896681381766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056591166067174535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05350112966667401,0.0,0.0,0.08966265232553873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15205579856700774,0.0,0.09434691249058247,0.0,0.0,0.0938730995889937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06669429200293862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956034114423277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20137587854172284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05548291060290073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0486976147043939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3477635751037573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29555189919506103,0.13257886050243625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053780200251588944
bipolarreddit,bipolarbarb,2019/07/24,"I’m spiraling a bit after some news this morning. For backstory, I was diagnosed in 2015 during my first full-blown manic episode, delusion, hallucinations, alcohol abuse, the whole 9. Since then, I haven’t had any more manic episodes (or even distinct hypomanic episodes.) 

Between the fact that I had only ever had one manic episode, 4 years ago, and that my manic episode was exasperated by the medication I had just started taking (buspar,) I thought that manic episodes were just a one-and-done for me. 

Today at the psychiatrist, my Dr. told me that it’s very likely that my bipolar will get worse as I get older, and that I’ll almost defined have another manic episode. This news has me reeling. Among other things, I cheated on my partner while I was manic 4 years ago. Now I’m in a healthy stable relationship, but after today’s meeting, I’m absolutely terrified that I’m going to repeat that behavior and cheat again. I that’s not the kind of person I am, and cheating was one of the worst things I’ve every done and I still feel hugely guilty, but I am so scared I’m going to lose control.

What’s the point of having nice things if I can just fuck it all up without having any control over it? How can I ask someone else to trust me if I can’t even trust myself?",5.942553763440863,6.260973846774196,6.607193548387097,77.13995698924734,66.58064516129032,8.871397849462367,32.259139784946235,8.648137234880735,2.5424781720430114,1006,39,188,14,15,331,140,248,0.182,0.755,0.062,-0.9873,0,0,1,0,1,0,35.0,0,0,0,4,11,12,4,1,10,0,21,6,0,3,4,28,37,15,0,2,10,0,1,1,1,1,5,0,0,2,19,5,1,2,2,0,0,2,4,7,0,3,12,1,25,5,21,24,6,29,0,1,0,1,6,9,1,5,19,128,44,0,0.0,0.15709252437921334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23505867169764086,0.14169392711937168,0.13276555373979526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18032581781946735,0.1390277999622093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394985045747142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14474938363660245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974125579248103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345718234773519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356813338188501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075844540202744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17514337655025264,0.11993147118738208,0.11170927761245718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703937788063417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277743669968512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12257346058562894,0.13854124464014933,0.0,0.15070316183130175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13806773594536195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477473789477001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483296262521497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335662719482707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695307631342364,0.10083749596625874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576883004723787,0.0,0.0,0.12533646202488882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14234755931845014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13274154259385845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967636618393063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233954094487346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09384493075361314,0.0,0.1058832126961988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968804138096836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642523961771245,0.0,0.0,0.1052583366433964,0.0,0.0,0.25135172225086816,0.12669143952242526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939719277153363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14802734091294176,0.0,0.1278080058747153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13511628481910432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17076185115908432
bipolarreddit,idkwhyswallowedfly,2019/07/24,I don't date or have sex and damn this whole hypersexuality thing is making that tough I mean the title says it all... how do you cope with this? How do you reel yourself in?,0.7325000000000017,2.9611616944444457,2.6700000000000017,91.95000000000003,84.83333333333334,4.711111111111111,14.555555555555555,5.985473137389443,-1.0188111111111111,135,2,32,1,4,45,30,36,0.128,0.872,0.0,-0.5514,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,5,1,0,3,1,8,7,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,7,2,2,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,1,1,23,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3357578782747245,0.0,0.0,0.547916862309945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4000075431146648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3341723148971939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5615839995766443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Zarah_Niva,2019/05/14,What’s wrong with me? I’ve been crying off and on all day and I don’t know why. What’s wrong with me? Why is this happening?,-2.9382758620689664,-1.437724827586209,-0.3073103448275845,107.59627586206898,107.6206896551724,3.6993103448275866,9.248275862068963,5.6839178017228535,-1.83524,96,1,27,1,5,32,21,29,0.319,0.6809999999999999,0.0,-0.8702,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,6,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,4,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,16,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33510255093290403,0.19674343319915116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26977036553233164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16765723339198346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5505523100988929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.667087293888845,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,alannapalomino,2019/05/14,"Is this dissociation and mania ? I’ve been diagnosed Bipolar I for about 6 years now; I went through inpatient and outpatient therapy and I regularly see my psychiatrist but am no longer in regular therapy. Over time I’ve learned how to recognize the signs of my manic/depressive episodes and figured out how to cope with them in healthy ways. 

I had my first anxiety attack in months on Sunday. I pinned it to the fact that it was Mother’s Day and I don’t have a good relationship with my mother. But right after my attack, I felt this wave of exhaustion come over me that I’ve never felt after an attack before. I slept every chance I got, and I felt so depressed and emotional for the remainder of the day. I think that was my crash...

A few months before this I’d been making very reckless decisions.. trying m for the first time.. openly flirting with men.. my sex drive was at a high and i became very irritable at random moments. But for some reason I didn’t feel anything wrong with it, even though those would typically be very obvious signs to me that I’m experiencing mania. 

I’ve been in a relationship for almost 2 years now.. and I am very much in love with him. I try my best to not blame my actions and decisions on my mental illness because that isn’t fair and I need to take responsibility for the mistakes I make .. but I can’t help but worry that my eagerness to entertain other men and start arguments with him has a lot to do with me being in a manic state.. especially because I didn’t really notice and feel the extent of my wrongdoings until I felt that crash of depression.. 

It’s something I never experienced before and I can’t help but think it’s some level of dissociation after reading other people’s posts on the matter .. I told my boyfriend that I cheated ... but I’ve never felt so detached from myself and my emotions before and it’s scary.. I know what i did was wrong and I know I’ve hurt him so much.. but I just feel so emotionally absent...

Last night we spoke on the matter again and it hit me.. this wave of sadness and frustration just came over me and i finally realized the weight of what I’d done.. 

Has anyone ever felt this way before ? Like being dissociative for some time and not realizing it until you “reattach”? And how could I ever possibly explain something like this to my boyfriend.. he tries so hard to be there for me and help me emotionally .. but explaining dissociation just makes it seem like I don’t care...",4.064055274168684,5.82160804811716,5.509931733098437,77.96360273067606,72.0753138075314,8.629905307201058,27.014093811935698,9.206073818396263,2.337321338912134,1949,69,366,43,38,656,215,478,0.159,0.7240000000000001,0.11699999999999999,-0.9805,0,0,2,0,1,0,57.0,1,1,1,3,20,23,5,0,17,0,30,8,1,7,7,99,64,43,0,4,14,2,11,3,0,1,4,1,0,2,28,35,1,0,23,2,0,5,13,13,0,2,24,15,60,10,57,33,9,59,0,4,1,2,21,20,0,7,33,259,88,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07073949952265975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054042266501779776,0.0,0.0,0.049395744425393184,0.0,0.05813377745174207,0.0,0.0,0.2411023526120193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08612753445233086,0.0,0.3005630910292743,0.0,0.07413624505955467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079761700231489,0.07202599943875973,0.0,0.0,0.060853325391970435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056403276764680765,0.0,0.0,0.09111873409139763,0.0,0.1825360450592791,0.07170190741867248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07229307134682979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31785878916984434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04665952294431608,0.12780261159365353,0.05952039642624901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071587901982679,0.0,0.40697440358535947,0.07738676235877827,0.0,0.12017905555863904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05925261608531704,0.056500251012365374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632829137459033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420530261939858,0.07463898821091214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562558302643145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07764790224271355,0.05758407547545386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10353888666109727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06005878012834622,0.06375873200540601,0.0,0.14146573178271854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119227270441654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127743159917962,0.0,0.1038625521669058,0.052381436886660034,0.16345441826547394,0.0,0.0,0.06629436293338373,0.0,0.0,0.08042836437139991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04897547331785612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964020060891476,0.06765717363697832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07066285558083701,0.0,0.04525618774378395,0.07263352875466153,0.0,0.1516898746823215,0.0,0.060329366587359885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05629391321477623,0.06431140622967052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087700022944373,0.0,0.0,0.05000200162807298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05311529954151172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16157454300522486,0.0,0.0,0.0905313101720428,0.06940711428241897,0.0,0.12357879585723774,0.0,0.0,0.06750311939485681,0.0,0.14388738355371372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331539303036135,0.0,0.11214742266447177,0.0,0.08602504181529395,0.0,0.06548745322940035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07174214545553863,0.0,0.05018328487866768,0.1544756761616528,0.0,0.09098450274407124
bipolarreddit,slinky_monkey,2019/05/14,"Lithium and taste My partner who has bipolar 1 is in hospital at the moment with a severe psychotic manic episode. The problem we’re having with him right now is a refusal to eat. He has no insight whatsoever, so appealing to reason isn’t going to help. I know that he was experiencing food tasting bad because of his lithium, so I’m assuming that’s why he isn’t eating now. Have any of you experienced this with lithium and if so, what foods tasted okay or could you tolerate eating and what foods should I avoid? The hospital has said it’s okay for me to bring food into the hospital, so I’m happy to cook anything he might eat. They’re going to try some kind of food supplement, but worried he’s going to refuse that too.
Thanks for your help xx",3.172379969024263,5.176621550335573,4.7189261744966435,81.64449148167269,75.10738255033556,7.537635518843572,27.568921011874032,8.384062270229773,2.0790873515746,597,24,113,11,13,200,94,149,0.09699999999999999,0.8059999999999999,0.09699999999999999,0.2357,0,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,0,0,7,8,0,1,6,2,13,14,0,1,0,22,22,10,0,4,3,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,1,8,7,13,3,4,1,0,4,3,3,0,0,2,6,9,5,18,17,1,11,0,0,0,0,17,4,0,5,3,69,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798444223203309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966203575451625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803440557458368,0.07157347705622161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937442052900504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4805685727408606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7098773812998225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20018442800543795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12498762684211935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15739804273145444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226689168458385,0.06452675540954365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12455594583391184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11234775936317452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12071944789529475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10026950295777168,0.11168602932092984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264253221247954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809751443292782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07971527658332793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594638100359212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923793788775165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rat_jumping_ship,2019/05/14,"Had a manic episode over the weekend I've got a bad case of shame and guilt for the things I did.  I really scared my girlfriend, in 6 years this is my first really bad episode she's witnessed.  I tried to strip naked in a park full of people and kids which could have gotten me on some sex offender list.  I'm heavily medicated at the moment to keep things under control now and I feel groggy as hell and just want to sleep, but I'm at work anyway trying to keep my eyes open.  It's been so long since I've had an episode, I almost forgot what they can be like.  No fear of consequences, no understanding of why I'm being told no.  Getting tackled in public to keep my damn clothes on.  Sexually out of control.  I feel like shit today.  Utter and total shit.  I've been stable for years and I forgot.  I forgot what it can be like.  I'm working through it with my therapist and med doc, but I just want to stay in bed and forget it all for awhile.  The crash is miserable.  I had been doing good for years.  It caught me off guard and just fuck.  I just needed to talk to people who understand and have been there.  Nobody else I know has, and it's hard.  It's so damn hard.",1.2582192254495157,3.3082855601659773,2.8681587136929494,92.3846170470263,81.36514522821577,5.8423928077455045,19.17029737206086,6.996647511020387,0.17102060857537982,904,22,199,11,24,297,133,241,0.23399999999999999,0.695,0.071,-0.9915,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,1,5,9,18,7,5,8,0,20,7,4,2,2,43,44,16,0,4,6,0,4,3,1,0,1,0,1,1,14,14,0,9,5,1,0,1,3,14,0,1,15,5,21,4,32,25,4,25,1,1,1,2,8,14,6,2,12,125,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525253502409492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20887812508150524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28058239339016977,0.09986858044109996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10449077845237434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14075312623724698,0.12649142476284925,0.08935930501519658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10639551783017134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563719829855384,0.06535069378982566,0.0,0.0,0.10491366805780278,0.10004028465778952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22409956032687256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33353849619896386,0.0,0.0,0.06874233392114691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833276757028896,0.0,0.0,0.11069450006621236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389389914575245,0.1260079416986911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09274744382602212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17343357610556515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16026271824610686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12522988263563495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567917604022153,0.10346993259781524,0.0,0.1251733121861458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13332181253273218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053696026409116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452309791040787,0.16619914616429804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856403829074255,0.1195221465135136,0.0,0.1698462638242999,0.0,0.0,0.2604315843438575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755436331563482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286793291343475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18212379652917607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416480119346445
bipolarreddit,kytexedits,2019/05/14,"Is hypomania obvious? Can it be subtle? So I may or may not have Bipolar (healthcare in my country has left me with no psychiatrist atm). I noticed that I've had huge mood swings over time. the elated mood can definitely be considered hypomanic. I keep on telling myself that I'm not hypomanic due to these times of elated mood seemingly only lasting 1-3 days, but I realized something just now. Those 1-3 days are more like the \*peak\* of the elated mood period, rather than the entirety of it. Is it possible that I just feel very good, am productive etc over a longer time period without thinking much of it, with it really being hypomania? When I think hypomania I feel like it must be very pronounced, but could it be more subtle? I could be wrong.   

.",2.9671561771561765,5.6018673006993005,4.7965314685314695,77.65377156177159,78.7902097902098,8.56857808857809,27.015850815850825,9.21078282632365,2.817155151515152,596,25,108,17,15,202,89,143,0.038,0.785,0.177,0.9697,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,5,0,20,1,0,0,2,24,27,5,0,4,9,0,2,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,12,2,0,1,6,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,1,2,11,3,13,15,4,17,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,4,13,77,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3066559252066735,0.0,0.0,0.2476992588837986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214174873246403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19420194379471967,0.13719310034361512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610736720347489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17069358499636594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15653787293040586,0.0,0.0,0.20865154430904526,0.0,0.0,0.18764165786794484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141171173272211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186383123809517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14605473934220828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164957499123949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12302545986643207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748256033154022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14784143582425366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16785104030343068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24610239221389005,0.0,0.0,0.3359394360866116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.316905498731584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18511928330831545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20996511245664606,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SouthPark_Gamer,2019/05/14,"Been through some serious shit since 2017 It's a crazy long and nearly unbelievable with what has happened to me. All since the summer of 2017... 

I had to evict my roommate and best friend. We havent talked since.
I suffered my 2nd major breakdown or something in the winter (2017). My first was treated as an acute condition,  boy were they wrong.
I ended up getting laid off in the beginning of 2018. Six months later, my house foreclosed. 
I was living with my fiance and her parents for only a few months when the California Camp Fire destroyed  that residence. Since that was my fiance childhood home, she lost literally everything. 
We then moved into my parents house who dont believe in mental illness. They repeatedly say how expensive I am and how I am ruining their retirement. 
My fiancee struggles to get work because, guess what, she started having seizures. 

I keep believing the meds and therapy will work, but I swear that most therapists treat idiots or low IQ folk.

I should probably copyright this since this is the saddest, most original story in a long time. I could see Michael Bay blowing random shit up, as a metaphor of course:)

Oh, all this and I'm only 32. 
Weeeeeeeeeee",4.571405529953918,7.159348755760369,4.574218894009217,81.59275691244241,72.963133640553,7.473640552995392,30.66566820276498,8.395991825355821,2.583912626728111,948,43,162,17,20,293,147,217,0.142,0.7909999999999999,0.067,-0.9158,3,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,2,0,3,5,3,15,4,1,11,0,16,3,2,3,2,27,26,15,0,2,3,2,1,0,2,2,1,1,1,1,10,11,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,11,0,2,7,3,27,4,21,16,8,28,0,4,1,0,16,10,2,7,17,107,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141785878019702,0.0,0.0,0.263991783405792,0.12294911061427853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935403824185826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137307206426094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037663846136323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529321476018566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09965373875847733,0.0,0.0,0.09051525699829864,0.0,0.12241946088390113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12906171436106256,0.0,0.10360160474664884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751808755949067,0.0,0.0,0.2703670440130161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041345814935614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345183389755347,0.2073606297815377,0.0,0.0,0.1278907749053047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013508689506192,0.0,0.11806676484067627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870273014257277,0.1245194180226124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17820645288896894,0.0,0.0,0.2601781098576028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631513024066324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316799960478624,0.0,0.0,0.09335901160348964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405200851345925,0.4845676698955792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901932316161362,0.0,0.0,0.08292437287816161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224780007814345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416641018394506,0.0,0.0,0.13397931298275692,0.1360283811426836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683152261498425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17058347580008545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12809285782114713,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fake_again,2019/05/14,What bipolar content do you watch on YouTube? Is there a bipolar equivalent to How to ADHD?,3.0452941176470567,5.967111470588236,3.689705882352944,83.74867647058825,81.3529411764706,5.752941176470588,37.911764705882355,7.1686216300943375,3.1909058823529417,73,5,12,1,2,23,15,17,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,10,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Taqosl,2019/02/10,"I think my wife might be Bipolar. Advice? So my wife was diagnosed with depression just over a year ago for reasons I won't go into. She cycled through some medication until she found one that worked Mirtazapine. She has been taking this for 95% of the year since she has been diagnosed. My concern is, is that while there has been improvements in herself, as much as less self hatred, which is something she struggled with. More recently she has been far more verbally violent and sometimes gets physical as well in herself and on me. The latter only once, the former a number of times. 

This isnt her nature, before she was diagnosed with depression and before the event that triggered it she was wonderfully sweet, caring, comforting and affirming of me, but now when she is in one of these phases of what seems like BPD all hell breaks loose if I say the wrong thing, it just triggers her, and I am unsure of how to deal with that, how do I deal with that. I was reading the post on here about how SSRI's and SNRI's can bring on these phases of not supplemented with something else. I wonder if this is happening? 

I am at a loss. I live my wife dearly, but I don't know what to do about this. How do I support her, how do I enable her to understand how she is being and seek help in that way? 

Any advice welcome, or any words of support appreciated. 
Thanks.
A guy from the UK.",5.022296571664602,5.9136474646840185,5.635359355638169,81.27754130524578,68.77695167286245,8.803056588186701,27.95559686080132,8.998388855275968,2.1008858323007025,1084,35,212,19,18,351,147,269,0.102,0.752,0.146,0.8954,0,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,3,16,17,2,1,11,0,31,5,0,9,1,42,47,25,0,2,8,3,0,1,0,2,5,1,0,2,18,14,0,0,8,1,0,2,4,7,1,2,9,2,34,10,37,34,6,27,1,3,0,0,26,11,1,8,12,167,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23240473971673306,0.10541097995342058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16173256685209822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20237582714986024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14976929016008814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124177625068625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451923040720037,0.2048426448339138,0.3620886909064099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933823060961612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13038416878833908,0.0,0.0,0.0621281838105073,0.0,0.06758213962491258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177445540264068,0.10515614913330784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970622345517417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06535257867577843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058095866435394335,0.0,0.10500413096928607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11979436038762907,0.0,0.12615003184311338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741621365040554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266406028932976,0.1611597743625997,0.09044022234180872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388770682485105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894718840869062,0.0,0.0,0.12226443381820708,0.11741422470113867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456598751391226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825575743790013,0.12405428807597275,0.0,0.0,0.09836772371494994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830931661306758,0.11760998387600237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431578591101428,0.0,0.0,0.26988668446672714,0.0,0.0,0.08940928710021706,0.0,0.0,0.10948096292455396,0.0,0.0,0.07900184759517014,0.07619593575298325,0.0,0.0,0.06934029763975116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123794717422693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438919856528936,0.0,0.0,0.10691887359681973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579165078938029,0.08657154232686738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13001489400566302,0.0,0.15315473315099046
bipolarreddit,setandreflect,2019/02/10,"Does anyone else try to stay home and isolate because it's easier? I prefer to be alone and will avoid social interaction as much as possible. I'm really good at acting like a fun carefree person and because I rant / become overactive when manic people assume that I love to hang out and I have a lot of friends (which I wish I didn't in all honesty because upkeep is really stressful) in reality I hate going out with friends at night now and I'm just not interested in anyone's conversation about their mundane work lives or rocky relationships etc. I do have a few friends I love to talk to and be around, but generally I would rather keep myself away from everyone for fear of being triggered into depression or doing / saying something I shouldn't when manic. 
I have a lot of hobbies that require me being alone (writing, drawing, film etc) and sometimes I even get flu-like symptoms when getting worked up about having to go to a bar or concert and stay home ""sick"". People must think I'm the most I'll person in the world at this point.
Does anyone else have this experience ? ",7.638221343873518,7.1689118647343015,7.881458058849366,72.0736758893281,63.20289855072464,10.232586736934564,34.27711901624944,9.573946990214177,3.1839603864734287,864,32,152,14,11,283,129,207,0.11699999999999999,0.7709999999999999,0.111,-0.5034,0,3,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,3,10,14,1,3,7,0,17,5,0,1,2,37,30,17,0,6,7,0,0,1,3,4,2,2,2,2,6,13,1,3,3,3,0,4,3,5,0,0,1,2,16,9,30,21,8,26,0,1,0,2,15,15,0,7,6,104,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22779619948293764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23068549219134166,0.22535916104884784,0.0,0.09789863055165897,0.0,0.0,0.1033225622178274,0.0,0.0,0.20111421446812747,0.121455725652098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947189499531816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19247493886430853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18373543069957574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.245296288725294,0.07263564328623555,0.0,0.0,0.10508321113622256,0.0,0.10757397634438126,0.0,0.12374937125815183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548928954117727,0.0,0.11491193814258414,0.0,0.12499954403637392,0.09223951755541113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10857484320244452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206222950300032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977484012810716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0537268933413986,0.0,0.09710752401406694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869889726397395,0.19850852396644636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084226770810139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320152016265063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15248184229983394,0.1920470784246478,0.0,0.0,0.103959335782093,0.12397720417280965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14090209680777865,0.0,0.0,0.11806905570710585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874543584014543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210287414905824,0.0,0.0846620216877313,0.10876538121032156,0.0,0.0,0.2344316025793089,0.0,0.0,0.12597285700601255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430329006130535,0.0,0.08839154023418598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046578637055151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466394857679998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646267645537373,0.0,0.0,0.16012223610326493,0.0,0.0,0.078121141181159,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ListlessIntellectual,2019/02/10,"I'm exhausted There is something profoundly satisfying in hearing from a licensed professional that your are certifiably ill. That you experience not something that everyone else experiences. I have a problem. I have a disorder. It does not just come and goes as it pleases and logic doesn’t help defeat it,

Today I did laundry, cleaned my room, cleaned out my car, got a car wash, had lunch and read at the coffee shop, went grocery shopping, fixed that lightbulb that was out for 4 months, made a huge meal for tonight & work this week, and I did not drink alcohol at all. I was so excited that I immediately told the people I cared about most, like it was some huge accomplishment or something. 

The worst part is that I don’t want this feeling to go away. I don’t mind the swings, I’ve learned how to deal with that. I’m just lonely. I want to fix myself so maybe one day someone will love me. I don't know where to go from here.",4.668791208791209,5.928291593406595,5.171098901098902,82.92390109890111,69.87912087912089,8.457142857142857,30.48351648351648,8.841846274778883,2.308767032967032,738,30,149,13,13,236,119,182,0.107,0.7340000000000001,0.159,0.7804,0,2,5,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,0,3,9,9,0,0,9,0,16,8,0,2,1,27,32,9,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,1,4,1,3,0,14,8,4,0,4,4,2,6,7,5,0,1,10,2,17,4,17,21,5,21,0,2,0,1,7,10,0,3,6,95,31,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683847099754965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707171948758622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480336742963516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16064386247978624,0.0,0.0,0.13572478427067447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161376102220143,0.16243839373898133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18057846886642445,0.0,0.13788262601337745,0.0,0.0,0.15434972104300826,0.0,0.0,0.13162193387896806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505562146103099,0.0,0.30824963367352354,0.0,0.0,0.07966753714051734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909100773229092,0.0,0.1260158640550496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17758261205918555,0.0,0.1056097658371583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865913630280696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697630855386525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14220488512444254,0.1490879555596829,0.0,0.0,0.15829112536844586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15909161725024942,0.0,0.12576362598648608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676735952980693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17062312604241242,0.0,0.10923290564326807,0.0,0.0,0.1729545794387567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15076452480311767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15760356180838092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13350085924887034,0.3638942901174931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14934933244315346,0.1505562146103099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858670299861509,0.0,0.1263858689713171,0.0,0.0,0.14606055469844625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470622891127068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,borderlinesweet,2019/04/06,"F*ck me I just got diagnosed with bipolar I don’t believe it, I’m still in denial. Why should I even know this??? No one has told me about it, I just saw it on my discharge papers. Is it true?? Is this real??",-2.394166666666667,-0.8079447777777755,0.5015277777777811,101.48562500000004,107.88888888888887,3.1388888888888893,14.513888888888893,5.148860815047168,-1.1129444444444443,155,4,38,1,8,53,34,45,0.057999999999999996,0.855,0.087,0.3094,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,7,10,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,1,7,1,4,6,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,28,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4034791005502654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3634847080445408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365351729889349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864216306514141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19681362806823874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24267167825404995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40761946306086855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2859954458458616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3421994271653867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3231479948693172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rorylupin,2019/04/06,"Update on: urgent advice on meds and sectioning/ being sectioned for no reason So I posted here a few weeks ago wanting advice about how and why I was being detained (for those in the US: section = you have no choice to go to hospital and have certain rights and privileges removed).

Almost everyone advised me I was/sounded manic and delusional or to go to a hospital. 

I want to thank everyone. You were of course right, I was very manic and unsafe, as much as I may have dismissed your advice at the time, as I’ve regained some insight it’s shown me how much people genuinely care and if they think someone is not well, will outright tell them. 

I’m still in the hospital for some lingering symptoms and psychosis but wanted to take this time to thank you for all your honestly and help.",5.0222456351595435,6.497781086092715,5.6272125225767615,79.1680433473811,69.26490066225165,8.404816375677303,30.945815773630343,8.841846274778883,2.680928476821192,628,26,110,11,11,203,98,151,0.042,0.8220000000000001,0.135,0.92,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,5,2,0,7,7,0,0,5,0,11,1,0,3,2,27,22,18,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,9,0,0,3,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,3,0,16,7,21,15,9,20,0,0,0,0,11,10,0,6,6,86,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4521651645877261,0.13672461573743075,0.0,0.15444926313197493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572581459400494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947662089779331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753165007101278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338394329135392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17132607213727316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22676856293062106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693072210752007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14771945920363905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15858459659075053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634405467245856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13068720636322176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317640922904717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603146074466601,0.11596942204252905,0.0,0.13481271818370352,0.2840072750113506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883088119647572,0.0,0.0,0.17987738192175706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18553194882282345,0.0,0.0,0.1272643041536569,0.2729245681329737,0.0,0.1237221710225763,0.0,0.13868044784389405,0.0,0.1391777744566663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tickedofftaco,2019/04/06,"Experiences with Treatment Emergent Mania/Mixed States I recently came across the term ""treatment emergent."" And I believe I fall into it. I am in a long depression and am about to start on a medication that I think could bring me out of it. The only time a medicine worked for me was when lithium brought me out of a depression and immediately launched me into another episode. I don't want the same thing to happen again. The only precaution I can think of is to be on a therapeutic dose of a mood stabilizer before I start the new drug. Anyone have input? Thanks.",3.772429906542058,6.217326850467291,4.904495327102803,78.95767757009347,74.88785046728971,8.018317757009347,29.39158878504673,8.841846274778883,2.6407689719626166,451,20,82,10,10,148,70,107,0.087,0.868,0.044000000000000004,-0.6395,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,11,0,9,3,0,1,0,15,19,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,9,0,0,2,0,0,4,1,2,0,0,3,0,12,1,18,14,2,22,0,2,0,0,0,8,0,0,9,60,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21516056372569792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14347425764265226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17460235436005492,0.2311798937230373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23468374155614705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638282478898224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3534612662495209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23795631585159485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007160864482525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814496471509569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18158750146231345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20670825816808905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19817466287977745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3121138719405115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20260127266087355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29047036936835696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889122248782982,0.0,0.0,0.1363197253661772,0.26295610424434124,0.0,0.0,0.11964847176102945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102691709308774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14938142883694328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Keyliming,2019/04/06,"Rehab stories? I have a dual diagnosis of depression & alcohol addiction. However, I suspect I’m actually bipolar (but still an alcoholic). I have been on 200 mg Zoloft for three years and it doesn’t seem to be helping; frankly, I don’t know if it ever did or if life circumstances were what made me feel like it did. I also have therapy but I only see her once every two weeks and I just started seeing her last month. Nonetheless, the past few months have been absolute hell. A lot of change in my life has occurred and therefore stress has followed, but some other things outside of being stressed have also added to it. 
1) I’m a special education teacher & this is my first year teaching. I feel like I’m completely in over my head and like I’m not supported at work. I’m the only SPED teacher there and am constantly overlooked.
2) I moved out of my parents during the summer when I got my job here in San Diego. I absolutely love my apartment and where I live & I’ve always my own space (I grew up sharing a room with my 2 sisters my whole life). While I love it and am grateful to be where I am, I’m alone every single day and don’t have friends here.
3) I’m codependent & am constantly on the lookout for a man who will temporarily fill the void that my ex has left in me. This turns into having strangers come over and sharing my bed with them for the sake of feeling desired and not alone & jumping into relationships that are short-lived because I’m a mess or because they move on.
4) I was drugged by someone I went on a date with who then took me back to my apartment and raped me in my bed. That was on November 6th.
5) My social anxiety at work is through the roof. I feel scrutinized all the time. I’m afraid everyone thinks I’m not good at my job and I’m only there because they were desperate for someone to take that particular class (moderate/severe disabilities).
6) I attempted suicide last month and was out of work for two weeks. They were supportive but my anxiety tells me I’m a burden. This has also caused great concern for my parents who already have to deal with my older sister (that’s a whole different story).
7) My drinking is out of hand and I feel completely lost. When I’m not drunk, I’m numb and my thoughts are too much to handle. When I am drunk, I lose control and slice up my thighs with scissors. That happened just a week ago. However, I’ve been managing my drinking since then, but I don’t know how long that’ll last.
8) Today I tied a scarf around my neck and tightened it until I couldn’t breathe just to see how it felt. Suicide ideation is constantly running through my mind. 
9) My sleep schedule is absolutely fucked. I’m either awake for 30 hours at a time or I have to sleep for an entire day. 

Basically, nothing is getting better. Ideally, I’d like to make it to the end of the school year and then look into rehab options for the summer. I’ve been depressed for three years and this is the worst I’ve ever had it & it is affecting every aspect of my life & I would rather deal with it all now than let it continue to get worse. 

Has anyone here ever been to rehab for something similar and was is helpful? ",3.084150943396228,4.8462111886792485,4.3223899371069185,85.44650943396228,74.69182389937106,7.441509433962264,27.88050314465409,8.214576434517982,1.8827522012578608,2500,101,503,42,53,821,297,636,0.134,0.7490000000000001,0.11599999999999999,-0.9367,8,2,6,0,0,2,81.0,0,0,4,10,27,30,3,3,26,0,57,29,7,8,5,86,106,43,2,7,19,5,7,4,1,3,14,0,3,1,29,34,6,1,12,4,0,10,9,14,0,5,22,11,64,16,69,76,12,91,1,4,4,4,27,32,2,9,53,325,93,9,0.0,0.0,0.057542406087189676,0.06428175099102452,0.0,0.0,0.052269888430569456,0.1260336529314801,0.0,0.12214218941796047,0.06507055588147317,0.14146550278626013,0.04906451755361686,0.4472282009478747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021780777422757,0.0,0.0,0.04123046703905575,0.0,0.0,0.05249232912463626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045341289918030214,0.0,0.10783555886344047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052150722215377934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060574426027465884,0.0623783134932199,0.05079407256591011,0.12364966461394833,0.1911642128761923,0.06613549335706613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07605651066298211,0.12158291653811736,0.10157482831506484,0.0,0.0,0.061607022545213615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155286556293391,0.06838195365952307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052226461126893324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16001463565680735,0.1490444432947398,0.056344633968352924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14907515544812394,0.08425078497361807,0.056616701593627784,0.0,0.0,0.05015653318555969,0.0,0.0,0.04555706136061481,0.05451320781392752,0.06161470536758346,0.0,0.0,0.049457965719564984,0.04716057555488827,0.06501033166675263,0.0,0.0,0.052143526086325526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06051622868949959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904746562578177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05806972911884059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702950810936233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648124511799893,0.1441957209158692,0.0,0.0,0.06406683845603768,0.0602968307006539,0.1665979965696001,0.1152314287637656,0.0,0.052068145205924364,0.052183141538839184,0.049516671673875516,0.06596798117808599,0.06436846199229215,0.0501308682214068,0.10643841201224924,0.05579514805711089,0.039360328568607265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05953895004998861,0.0,0.14119853154682366,0.12534326157966552,0.04334686705833293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05657956174983255,0.0,0.0,0.06279697036245904,0.0,0.13453912486719566,0.0,0.0,0.13094974823630431,0.0,0.05628981308641865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06330752224712698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05967683964169175,0.14096503820123293,0.05368052138160784,0.0,0.06661490717182401,0.0,0.048777365944435165,0.0,0.11801736604416382,0.06010851155415192,0.09992356766285357,0.04539498337971569,0.0,0.0,0.041736507952155735,0.0,0.047090402360647,0.0,0.13509093300832284,0.0,0.0,0.12899868215319849,0.13382805939386733,0.0,0.0,0.04433516758358764,0.0,0.0515389690472163,0.0,0.06743287247942302,0.0,0.03917445565379544,0.03778309491507609,0.0,0.0468124955612337,0.0687672123525242,0.0,0.05589296656872167,0.0,0.06551350497876655,0.0,0.06413818252977002,0.11520262007669635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189714209525747,0.0,0.0,0.05466216398306671,0.0,0.13166708615023612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878406577817342,0.0,0.060091491895540326,0.041887824491167854,0.0,0.0,0.15188893638885356
bipolarreddit,stressedandanxious22,2019/04/06,"someone be proud please!! thanks to my tax return i was able to pay $1,000 off my credit card that i racked up when manic last. progress is so satisfying!! ",2.120860215053764,4.286297000000005,2.90451612903226,92.64344086021508,79.0,5.423655913978496,20.010752688172047,6.42735559955562,-0.010492473118279387,121,3,26,1,3,38,28,31,0.035,0.518,0.44799999999999995,0.9498,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,3,4,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,14,5,3,0.4748504976367732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3870665330256335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5212432514769809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4023392856995298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4371785400475667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,saucysadie,2019/03/16,"New diagnosis, nervous about medication Was diagnosed with BP 1, but it must be the mildest ever, based on reading posts on here. I have been taking lexapro for three years, b/c previous therapists diagnosed anxiety disorder. So currently, i have a lot of mania, but very little depression. and the mania doesn't seem too extreme - my therapist thought it was BP 2 but the psych testing came back BP 1, which she agrees with now. I have thought I was the second coming on occasions, that's probably the most manic idea i've had. I have a good career, have always done well in the workplace. I am a mom and wife, and my family loves me. So I really hesitate to medicate. But I also wonder if I should keep taking Lexapro? My therapist said withdrawl from that is ugly, so she doesn't recommend it. But maybe it's been triggering my mania? I was also diagnosed with mixed personality disorder, mainly borderline with a heavy dose of narcissism. So naturally, I am very concerned with medication that could affect my skin (already went through struggles with acne while younger, not going to do that again) and also obsess about my weight. Anyone on a mood stabilizer that others haven't experienced acne or weight gain with? And no lithium for me, it's an unnecessary hit on my kidneys when I am pretty functional unmedicated.",6.240374331550803,7.778282347107442,7.22292173067574,68.6324574623238,66.43801652892563,10.983373845405927,34.070004861448716,10.966923227221727,4.298736217792904,1056,48,173,32,17,354,146,242,0.139,0.773,0.08800000000000001,-0.9039,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,1,17,8,0,3,12,0,25,12,2,2,2,36,39,21,0,4,8,2,3,0,0,2,7,1,0,1,12,14,2,1,5,1,0,4,5,4,1,2,13,5,23,3,23,21,3,21,0,1,0,1,7,7,0,6,9,130,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964932377858532,0.2601215175909205,0.09021801438896636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294457874799042,0.0,0.0,0.0758130529772045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833718815591941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400894225777465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339825597220557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656827949839391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09338601273793408,0.33014628500490456,0.0,0.0,0.2485281394829135,0.0,0.0,0.11095608562353204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807632495557456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022131329866476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061620240814465765,0.09094147227802092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239825931558783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637283195874599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10867000741315733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217878043105016,0.09785750135998184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892715818068116,0.0,0.0,0.3276793562442712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698566762511102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047172256716928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467224309872514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384086623039757,0.11030687271139766,0.11690013678389086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108454015138125,0.0,0.06945962246095849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313669386182572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870575095578632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334901066157507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16304372228351774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37766820962241016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17215415981667906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17892342220542004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640640860209973,0.0974868030993622,0.10051075894850653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758193373759104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982193513713783
bipolarreddit,kayday0,2019/03/16,"Help! Acne from lithium I've never had acne or problems with my skin. Since taking lithium though, I have a lot of acne and pimples. My entire skin care routine has always been just a face cleanser (origins) that I use when I shower.

I'm going to start washing my face in the morning and at night but I'm wondering if I should add additional products.

Anyone else get bad acne from taking lithium? Did it go away with time? Did you find a skin care routine that works? Share your products and secrects please!",2.022006802721087,4.7556510306122455,3.0072448979591826,88.04787414965988,84.61224489795919,4.082993197278912,24.493197278911573,5.46131890053228,0.6338340136054423,403,16,71,2,12,128,69,98,0.064,0.789,0.147,0.8188,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,1,3,5,0,0,4,0,7,6,5,2,1,19,19,8,0,3,4,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,7,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,4,3,9,3,9,14,1,11,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,4,6,43,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17335335987174935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14567431509932066,0.2134662292281373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19573979285491294,0.0,0.1739529800907912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4248276145906817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17403911775543365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19041655818441294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088476635004753,0.0,0.2368058276086457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13964413020673572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771209597642962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16068260338192258,0.0,0.0,0.19551048430604945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22869184132306025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993507017582617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17233880396197546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14746224448072315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132875097648005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20469038281998067,0.0,0.12148318076598877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17993657383531114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22593296263148166,0.15167206781149056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,usthcd,2019/03/16,"Feeling a bit shitty, could someone talk to me? [Not an emergency] Can someone talk to me for a bit...? I'm not in the greatest of moods today and could use a sympathetic ear.

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It's not an emergency, I'm not suicidal or self-destructive, I've been stable for a few months. Just a bit sad and lonely.",1.8929569892473133,4.001788080645163,4.046451612903226,84.4563440860215,79.48387096774194,7.359139784946238,26.46236559139785,8.344100000000001,1.973539784946236,239,10,48,5,6,82,41,62,0.183,0.626,0.191,-0.2856,0,2,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,8,0,4,1,1,1,0,12,8,3,1,2,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,6,5,5,3,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,31,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059360907299161,0.2309506114955133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6225075056506391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035039680238717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961029213766577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517086167594834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19827996166527445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.322084076917835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20790101092625266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30553519673993984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801600459685992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415572723569874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309506114955133,0.0
bipolarreddit,Wookie-8,2019/03/16,"Hypomanic and Intrigued I wasn't sleeping well and began being a meaner than normal ass to my wife. I was speeding more than normal. Some of my mannerisms changed too; lots of talking hands and random tears at bullshit commercials and not due to PTSD either. Shes says i have faster than normal speech but in my head I'm talking through cement and can feel the sludgy ripple waddle. 

I did a walk in to pre-empt the inpending glorious chaos. The nurses kept saying how hot it... they read my history. I hate clothes. Now the seroquel (100mg tab at night) they gave and I capitulatly take, knocks me out. No dreams to remember but living on a grey plateau during the day experiencing the Nothing with my FUCK IT meter pegged out at 3pm. It's working though...

It's been 5 years since my last manic episode. 5 years of Li, Buspirone, and fish oil. 5 years since i felt the pull of mania and the energy i miss. 

I felt i was out of that dark cell in my mind. No more tasting the black that had become me. The sudden surge of electrons through my being gave me a pleasurable headache and brought stinging tears to my eyes... 

It felt better than stabbing myself   i felt better than real. I surmise this is what maybe those other ones feel. I have tears streaming down my face as i right this. Knowing im missspelling as i go and so on. 

I feel alive as if i never was before

I am

.


As needed",1.9616218264494163,4.3817876227106245,3.0366906656561845,90.05802197802198,81.19780219780219,5.3772388531009225,22.60060629026146,6.647476241863616,0.6017334596438038,1083,36,216,11,29,346,165,273,0.105,0.774,0.12,0.8472,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,2,3,6,7,2,0,14,0,15,8,6,1,1,40,35,20,0,5,5,1,9,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,12,14,1,1,9,2,0,4,5,3,1,1,16,18,35,4,35,17,5,31,0,1,3,2,11,14,2,4,13,139,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13625188573559827,0.10497833142964594,0.0,0.0,0.2182205394289052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305085398715907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956310132873946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18713793091677366,0.0,0.4738161481799635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11405308603422824,0.0,0.0,0.07011371221736923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180180926303184,0.12661266716773778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13326019670199535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780063370836842,0.10056258304422283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089375012581217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488431071131883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394121347775115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456799489066288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914768979687079,0.09515013988993977,0.0,0.0,0.11577388927072473,0.362627657063984,0.11837633268728485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359834494282699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14421230718573658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12340285441447975,0.14042146460411564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397535588050411,0.1053568523477093,0.0,0.19621670668910413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20410499905171087,0.0,0.12345856483911664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09275848708101436,0.1983194118732566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212098767976375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109239686044106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981444267091937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23833767940334905
bipolarreddit,chemelion__,2019/03/16,Abilify.. good or bad.odd side affects ? So ive been taking Abilify to give me some mental clarity and i have not slept at all in the week ive been taking it . Has anyone else have similar experiances ??  Thank you in advance ♡  ,0.5528571428571425,3.011532727272733,3.220519480519481,83.16863636363641,96.72727272727272,7.059740259740257,24.467532467532468,7.957251820313856,2.2805168831168827,176,8,33,5,7,61,36,44,0.0,0.815,0.185,0.8243,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,7,1,1,1,1,6,12,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,5,2,4,9,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,2,1,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2180576463238301,0.3195343220482928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603875459016378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605164840497181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30505595992869616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29916162489645576,0.0,0.2615708327183674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3142784789045267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4689552647313934,0.0,0.0,0.287116001125164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501528525500345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,demusique,2019/03/16,"Lithium + Latuda Side Effects/Personal Experiences Anyone on this combination of meds? I got in touch with my PDOC after last night (thanks to everyone who was so helpful) and she wants me to try the 20 mg samples of Latuda she previously gave me. The last time my lithium level was taken, it was at 0.9. 

​

What side effects can I expect? 

​

I experienced large amounts of weight gain due to high glucose levels when I was on my last antipsychotic + SSRI (high doses of Abilify and Zoloft). Now I am on Metformin for PCOS and my weight/glucose levels are normal. My biggest fear is that I'll gain weight again. ",3.5732051282051276,6.292171555555559,4.550961538461539,79.80028846153847,77.03418803418803,6.635042735042736,27.698717948717945,7.793537801064563,2.030584615384615,500,21,85,8,12,162,79,117,0.027999999999999997,0.909,0.063,0.6072,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,1,2,0,8,4,0,1,0,8,13,5,0,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,7,5,14,1,15,6,1,23,0,0,0,0,5,13,0,0,10,51,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038990903041813,0.3408129215715229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805878720975572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13400494511693573,0.0,0.13718123609062702,0.0,0.15780853596305555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216241714278444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09399964598905176,0.2963416686058797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3429419681434285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15577457791692936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13160536203497547,0.1374050297305631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12245180712455285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12911377946837746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177483699974462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09521348104101586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271694800779214,0.0,0.0,0.5123221464644888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3408129215715229,0.0
bipolarreddit,dcultravillain,2019/03/16,"Doctor wants medication changes There's  a long history with my psychiatric illnesses and medications but I'll jump ahead. 2 and a half years ago I got extreme PPD and was hospitalized twice. I was only on a small bit of klonopin at first but it stopped working. Everything I tried made me crazier until one doctor put me on Celexa. After initial anxiety it changed my life. Saw a regular psych who tried different things so I wouldn't get manic and I was hesitant. Had a huge drunken manic episode, was hospitalized again and prescribed Abilify 10 and it helped a lot. That was almost a year ago.

​

I was doing okay, taking sleeping pills at night, stomach meds, ativan, propanolol. I needed birth control for PMDD

Recently Psych took me off sleeping pills and ended propanolol (I get severe anxiety an panic attacks). My Birth Control made my anxiety unbearable one week every month so my med doc switched me to something else and increased my stomach meds (acid reflux/gastritis. 

I started an anti inflammatory diet being tired of this mess and was exercising doing well and happy, which my psych thought was hypomania, although I was still depressed a lot. She wanted me to drop my dosage to 10 mg while remaining on 10mg Abilify. I am terribly med sensitive and many things cause crazy reactions for a long time. That is a big cut for me. 

So basically in one month, new birth control (also sensitive), no sleep meds, less anti anxiety meds, more stomach problems and now a decrease in a med that I had no problem with. I'm two days in and already going crazy, what can I expect?

​

Long story short, Lots of med changes. On Abilify 10mg, ativan twice a day, Loe Estrin Fe, and Dropping 20 mg Citalopram to 10 and feel a mess.",5.414672897196262,7.392562330218072,5.886135825545175,75.73137196261685,69.0,8.874317757009345,34.023800623052956,9.3871,3.4542467538940813,1392,68,233,30,25,448,184,321,0.214,0.741,0.045,-0.995,1,0,1,0,0,0,49.0,0,0,0,6,9,12,2,1,16,1,18,17,6,6,0,39,34,24,0,7,2,0,1,0,0,1,10,0,0,0,12,17,1,4,2,1,0,5,3,9,1,8,17,3,28,3,25,15,7,51,0,1,1,0,3,14,0,4,30,142,40,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039195119599595,0.0,0.06799963579693467,0.0,0.07493770718857165,0.05430567011184426,0.0,0.1471556770300233,0.1650302939842253,0.0,0.0,0.2077964624889524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772546798607649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413749343757244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975979441501068,0.2155116578373702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22849238809290515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875895472020977,0.0,0.0584887022931595,0.0,0.0,0.07094897152349992,0.0,0.13901257871620826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05672807243009322,0.0,0.06014596307662351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05721506805653361,0.0,0.06103095747978025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03433611468883429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05776215596343935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07095781935160489,0.0,0.03859344472007936,0.0,0.05431189812200383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722888855335072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04551702189123369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0479651345989574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18028822381386994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17319779766723606,0.0,0.12851159517563718,0.0,0.06884763130600212,0.0,0.0,0.6034401341441978,0.1368194925776799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840637078912477,0.0,0.0,0.05035261282378771,0.0,0.06558556744964561,0.0,0.06372666707114416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13804780843319225,0.0516467773999512,0.0,0.0796749179088771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299567728701556,0.0,0.06826587777031003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06705054642401362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671624040109573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20386987708911067,0.0,0.0,0.052278575559360906,0.0,0.0,0.048065337227012034,0.0,0.054231084023963566,0.05677378063304304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05105805170293756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902295622740067,0.0,0.0,0.05391103606866285,0.03959745812556534,0.07804977779839736,0.0,0.0,0.07544782408096268,0.09220958345713874,0.0,0.06633584186977666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08010730452506662,0.0,0.05447136748300571,0.0,0.06105707307572316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049437529673777146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650302939842253,0.08746051486807896
bipolarreddit,usersarx,2019/03/16,"I honestly don't know what to do \*warning rant ahead and me being manic reaching out for something, anything!\*  
I am trying to dumb this down as  much as I can to fit a general post, so here it goes...  


YEARS ago, i disowned my friends. Swore them off like they were a plague, mainly to reinforce my manic state of I wasn't good enough for them. Because, seriously, I am not good enough., My mood swings are prevalent, my lack of funds from being manic are there, my general lack of well being keeps me from hanging out so to speak. I dont know what to do. I miss them. The whole friendship arc has worn itself out and I am a side character waiting to be in the story again. So, instead of that, I cut things, Everythings. and here I am, alone and depressed years later reaching out to the interwebs to see what they have to say about my relationship issues.   


I want to be a part of someones life. I want to be a human again. I want a friend. I want to say ""sure I am ok"" to someone and actually mean it. Its hard and I hate crying and I hate that this is rant and this is how my life is and I hate it. Sorry.

Thanks for reading. I really don't know what to do.  
",0.9430252100840306,3.0789665462184885,2.6992705882352968,92.66631764705885,83.11764705882355,5.656739495798321,20.864537815126052,6.918507183188421,0.3895171092436973,890,27,196,11,25,294,121,238,0.18600000000000005,0.6759999999999999,0.139,-0.9202,0,1,1,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,5,1,12,19,5,0,9,1,27,2,0,1,1,30,44,15,0,6,1,0,1,1,2,0,2,3,0,1,15,13,0,2,4,1,1,1,5,8,1,0,3,5,34,10,36,35,8,19,0,2,1,0,12,9,1,0,8,150,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.12593057955018513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11439176410370028,0.0,0.0,0.1336530547369354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10619411442029007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866543040283902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14175130764689925,0.0,0.0,0.1111473943064256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512413096024545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666786608008408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159784989228113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19940171188019784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21647583790642247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560014294203445,0.3822195320517826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13469081623206985,0.0,0.11470228613577492,0.0,0.0,0.21276142485588104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822984446298649,0.06304550675474539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405692585080963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948638832041459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13974457398012674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12359068950100376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908122781192108,0.0,0.0826703680743785,0.0,0.0,0.1385474384645479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052456042189348,0.0,0.0,0.10283319823932556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21868103268811112,0.09934615102845472,0.0,0.14445677444494293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162461625069185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11880850069172645,0.0,0.0,0.0857326316277162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876139709851325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3044594191283269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602812697619615,0.0,0.0,0.1440755921942122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16620318029217554
bipolarreddit,SupremoZanne,2019/03/16,"What kind of image would you use to illustrate being bipolar? and, what description would you use with that image?",5.2360000000000015,8.287782600000002,4.830000000000002,78.24500000000002,73.0,8.0,25.0,8.841846274778883,2.3885,92,3,14,2,2,28,15,20,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,6,5,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,12,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4220899312406287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7001518003856975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5758711195762015,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,6848berkridge,2018/11/03,"Walgreens Being Impossible? See if this makes sense to you. I'm switching to mail order drugs but they've screwed things up and it's going to be a while till I get my Lunesta. In the meantime I can't refill at Walgreens until after I'm a week short. Here's the thing, my prescription is for 30 and in September they only gave me 24, which I didn't notice. I say they owe me 6 pills now. It's okay with my doctor and my insurance. But Walgreens says I can only get the 6 after all my renewals are used up (I have 4 of them so that will be a long time--I hope I won't be using Walgreens by then.) She kept saying well we only charged you for 24 in Sept.  I don't care what they did or didn't charge me. This isn't right, is it? Can Walgreens really do that? Don't they owe me 6 pills NOW?",0.02446382428940552,1.9216275058139551,2.3378294573643434,95.32099483204136,84.98837209302326,4.985012919896642,18.276485788113693,6.139981653823899,-0.30236925064599474,609,15,143,5,18,207,101,172,0.069,0.875,0.055999999999999994,-0.4682,2,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,1,2,5,0,5,5,1,0,6,1,20,5,0,3,1,15,35,12,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,11,5,0,1,0,0,2,1,7,1,1,0,5,4,26,4,18,24,1,20,0,0,1,1,14,8,1,3,10,96,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19417104024925788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949281963151589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22085536265371267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19899896640148448,0.0,0.10823409850171667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18915453509696006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16853754583195282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12712330044665865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168225265491712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4345252749227297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12200373643406068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16263871323030415,0.0,0.4543477521265054,0.0,0.0,0.15175975028167926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530459616073249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104982243137862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3289661078567383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15276323210950535,0.0,0.171232635734796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Konnie2012,2018/11/03,"SSRI induced mixed episode? Honestly this is the only thing I can really think of. I'm not diagnosed with anything as of now, but when my doctor perscribed me with SSRI I had basically an instant reaction. Within 2 days I was feeling so much better, really social and more confident. However my anxiety was through the roof and my doctor suspected possible bp2 so she took me off them. Since I went off them (over 2 months ago) my life has literally just felt like a roller coaster. My anxiety has been like 1000x worse for like no reason at all and my mood has just been all over the place. For a couple weeks after the meds I felt really confident, more energetic and creative but still kind of empty inside, just thought it was the meds wearing off. Then I felt pretty depressed for a week but still kinda had the energy, then I smoked weed and it felt like it triggered a mood swing and I spent another week feeling energetic, confident and super creative. I honestly don't know what to make of it and life has just been fucked these last 2 months. Probably the worst 2 months of my life. I talked to a psychiatrist but he was beyond useless and wasn't helpful at all, telling me nothing was wrong with me when I am 99% sure I have some type of mood disorder. Just kind of needed to get that out as right now i'm feeling absolutely depressed but still have this weird energy pent up inside me, making me feel like I have to go play basketball for like 30 minutes even though I feel like absolute shit. Thanks to anyone who read, needed to get this off my chest. The only thing i'm confused about is that usually I don't have that much trouble sleeping, where most people complain it is like impossible for them with BP and BP2.  


(had another stressful week last week which triggered the same thing again)",6.008723068838672,6.754992468208092,6.33380977404099,77.66430373095116,66.51445086705202,9.874724119810825,31.3342091434577,9.910423181423305,2.989108670520232,1438,54,267,31,22,463,173,346,0.157,0.612,0.231,0.9851,1,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,3,2,20,32,2,2,15,0,27,11,4,6,4,56,54,24,0,2,11,0,9,8,0,0,6,0,0,0,18,15,0,0,15,3,1,3,5,12,0,0,20,9,33,17,39,34,11,42,0,3,0,1,11,15,2,4,32,180,51,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307115760424628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17287466501942594,0.1261207905453407,0.0,0.0,0.05763849982403151,0.0,0.06783466390477119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290456812887505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120964391254396,0.0,0.05316193935315097,0.0,0.14199743889435154,0.08366693176121677,0.0,0.0,0.09447442466246524,0.16874566692266674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05444568021598247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084009456629464,0.11777913770116764,0.3165912956310082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620722598204198,0.08613482794466412,0.0,0.04684810992124655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05525255546154618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716808696392588,0.0453025726387505,0.13438646437131996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17467286849185318,0.3221776110482453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004824607620782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831271472417364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973897488962688,0.0,0.12119428028537114,0.12224484015356507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909590393124466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253867812142834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057148097332083876,0.0,0.08612408767448011,0.0,0.0,0.09292990200230652,0.0,0.08386316621858063,0.0888758366646113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08245449150206258,0.0,0.1584245039517287,0.0847540144003209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039663488990522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461545248084212,0.0681887545863083,0.0,0.08249171571990255,0.0840292308441463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19749134630999934,0.0,0.09442578847157768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769135804701519,0.0,0.0,0.06625586717011446,0.07204936232094583,0.07589248008186388,0.0,0.0,0.16429284100776434,0.05281921515832175,0.08098920242807729,0.06544194647644325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091585189699971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078740494557236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33061062959181475,0.0,0.0,0.0764154605897311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400543806030612,0.0,0.09012665298231004,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MisterAufziehvogel,2018/11/03,"It’s not my fault, regardless you think it is my fault! In my depression episodes I drink alcohol, sometimes a lot. I want to forget the pain I always feel; maybe it prevents me from killing my self. The people around don’t recognize this (I think), but criticize me all the time, because I drink. Sometimes I think the most people don’t want to accept bipolar disorder and their problems. Before November I was sober for 5 months. ",5.148518518518519,6.760992432098767,5.262654320987657,81.37694444444449,69.12345679012347,8.85679012345679,32.01851851851852,9.2995712137729,2.9533111111111103,341,15,62,7,6,107,56,81,0.22399999999999998,0.6559999999999999,0.12,-0.9008,0,0,3,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,0,1,7,1,0,5,0,4,5,0,0,1,18,10,2,1,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,2,3,1,5,2,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,1,15,1,6,9,3,4,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,2,2,40,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20245851165663525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15763296497415052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16864573200527475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11548358311898925,0.0,0.16120328034974965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16316823391310056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21711976134442687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37116689278416937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957888100360538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095922240313847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16105890342921034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903224209324764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15121275881563678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015822599335732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626738675225789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812727610879924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19763188579326774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3747308257058475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3641650773915017,0.0,0.0,0.11046658681897437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22347849910191556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BearMom22,2018/11/03,"Has Lithium ever made you more angry and anxious? I never had full blown panic attacks or anger for long periods of time until after Lithium was introduced.

Just checking to see if anyone else had this issue or I'm back to the drawing board.",6.100579710144928,7.0672232608695635,6.807391304347828,73.56731884057974,66.3913043478261,7.872463768115942,32.72463768115942,7.793537801064563,2.65308115942029,194,8,30,2,3,64,41,46,0.28800000000000003,0.7120000000000001,0.0,-0.9409,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,3,3,2,1,1,0,4,0,0,1,2,8,7,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,4,1,2,0,6,3,2,9,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,3,8,24,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3270631526368972,0.0,0.2024316644276428,0.296636535083638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32935867319763873,0.0,0.22261481483362205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.241847907496462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618777759507053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3021725377623798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25620665870129816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27394074089650144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232874534195841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33967683636633383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307014638968409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16881522638810054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bpj3,2018/11/03,"Tactics and coping mechanism - Big Decisions What tactics and coping mechanisms have you found to be effective when making reasonable, large life decisions?  

I've worked in my field for 12 years, six of those diagnosed and medicated as bipolar type 2.  When I was first diagnosed, I had a hard time adjusting to medication and side effects.  Eventually I found one that worked well with my chemistry.

I'm starting to come to the realization that I am enjoying my day job less and less and am thinking about a career/life style change.  (Move over seas for a while, go back to farming, go to a vo-tech school, even just love move to a small town and run a coffee shop).  I don't know, and honestly, I think I could make all work financially.

I just don't look forward to that judgement, ""oh you are just in one of your moods."" People without mood disorders make these kind of decisions all of the time.",5.343500986193295,6.731072615384619,5.752204142011838,78.90609714003948,68.40828402366864,9.893688362919132,31.243096646942806,10.125756701596842,3.173520315581853,708,29,134,18,12,227,109,169,0.024,0.8959999999999999,0.08,0.8726,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,3,0,6,9,7,0,0,8,0,10,7,0,6,2,32,25,12,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,6,10,0,0,12,1,1,7,3,0,1,4,4,2,14,5,21,19,4,24,0,0,1,1,4,8,0,0,11,84,20,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006726757171156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15142512562705265,0.12330405214046995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11428714099498055,0.0,0.0,0.0923146686480161,0.0,0.0,0.29057198350214475,0.0,0.0,0.16405299194395384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454385956588247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12175640720819315,0.0,0.31389535901218146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627016544839189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12822700560510913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14204622548394594,0.0,0.0,0.1490602373313536,0.0786670319581006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110534073075332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020312523622667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12919113236566332,0.0,0.2866449426628655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884007629987092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3042743233715093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939932804035128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923655406982823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14717368950707907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448672212138416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013165570848048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834390695643324,0.0,0.0,0.16693435885590294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12870173781348426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13798366112175012,0.0,0.3126269731762171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217867551253
bipolarreddit,Everythingisfake_,2018/11/03,Lost my job. Side effects are killing me. I don’t seem to need sleep anymore. I keep getting full of energy then crashing into a depression I’m so lost I don’t know what to do anymore. I applied to a few new jobs and got a got denied all of them. I need one by the 15th or I’m not gonna make rent. Why do mental breakdowns never happen when my bank account is full?,-0.2650555555555556,1.7440980499999978,2.184166666666666,95.23527777777781,87.25,4.555555555555556,21.38888888888889,5.82211442006289,0.05934722222222224,284,10,65,2,9,97,58,80,0.201,0.772,0.027000000000000003,-0.9299,3,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,3,2,4,1,0,4,0,6,1,1,2,2,13,21,5,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,3,0,3,0,4,4,0,1,4,0,9,0,7,16,4,8,0,3,0,0,1,4,0,2,4,39,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3775266065801585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16393710457686195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994433026850607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30446000588514144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16831450923067834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.377760494952425,0.16918040044739574,0.2105798507804495,0.0,0.10460431745963204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4155509572647581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270515226610412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918150749615212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822651633759001,0.14679974057745682,0.18382880125864692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897737580319932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17327578876492045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904746047815708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17174966882899806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fancybullshit,2018/11/03,Random Depression I love it. Love when I’m at work and I just get so sad I can’t stand being here. And I’m supposed to be the boss. It could just be my clinical depression though. But I take my mood stabilizers at night and I’ve missed them the last couple of nights so I don’t know. I just have this heavy sadness weighing on me. A lot of things on my mind. I wish I knew what it was like to not be depressed.. I’ve had depression for as long as I can remember and even during the good times it’s still lurking in the back of your mind. Idk. I’m just sad. ,-0.7239071038251375,1.3336761721311492,1.509868852459018,98.72392896174864,90.55737704918032,5.220546448087432,17.14972677595628,6.742157984588678,-0.2619919125683059,431,11,107,6,15,144,77,122,0.203,0.674,0.124,-0.8619,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,1,1,12,13,0,0,5,0,11,4,0,1,0,20,22,11,0,2,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,4,1,0,3,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,3,0,15,4,13,14,1,14,0,8,0,2,4,5,0,2,9,70,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12925497390790286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13421048558047088,0.1859943444810413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5791212295591344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102541537500027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782289993323715,0.0,0.0,0.1409904323449395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238082662978513,0.13702017284397555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212291349208019,0.0,0.0,0.1487591246351574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14290868379908572,0.3034252927588429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33945683720634384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154922604109722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904193011291938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13424119030230056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263868085707094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11167510347724144,0.0,0.16515286070074134,0.0,0.0980177698342253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933013951230859,0.0,0.0,0.12237544110459965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ShatteredManic,2018/11/03,"Ranting a bit This has been a shit week. It really has been.

The growing mania keeps getting worse because my job is literally driving me into psychotic mania. I know this because this morning I wanted to ram into cars for being stupid, which ain’t a good idea... Also with the random 2 hours sprees of crying and literally actively thinking about >!suicide!<

My job is 8-5. I have to wake up at 5am to beat traffic otherwise I don’t get there til 8am even if I leave after 6:15am. So then I get there and eat because I know I won’t be eating much because the manager doesn’t seem to like breaks and constantly brags how he only takes a 15 minute lunch, and seems to want me to take a less lunch than an hour. Fuck that.

Anyways after work it takes me from 5pm to 6:45 to get home with traffic. So this leaves me with roughly 1 hr and 15 minutes to cook, eat, shower, unwind, etc if I want to hit 8 hours of sleep. This shit ain’t possible. 

So I end up staying up til around 9-10pm because that’s the amount of time it actually takes me to unwind. Which is about 5-6 hours of sleep, because I end up waking up constantly throughout the night even with medication.

It’s been 3-4 hours of sleep all week and is slowly declining because stress is getting higher, I’m not eating, I’m not sleeping, and it’s just really fucking me up. >!I almost killed myself on Wednesday.!<

I’m not sure what to do. I like this place and want to keep this job, but at the same time my mental health is severely deteriorating to the point I feel myself slowly losing control over everything I worked for... I’m not sure what to do.

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bipolarreddit,safeharbor_,2019/03/26,"Missing work, feeling guilty Last night I left work because I was legitimately sick. Today I feel better but told my boss I am still sick so I can’t come in...it’s really because I am so incredibly depressed, working a full shift feels so unmanageable. Even getting out of bed feels unmanageable. I feel so guilty about missing work, it’s really unlike me, but all I feel capable of doing is staring at the ceiling and going to sleep.

I want my job to see me as a valuable and good employee, I tell myself that there is nothing wrong with taking the space and time I need to feel like myself again, I just hope my boss and coworkers can understand that sentiment as well.

So yeah, today I feel pretty defeated. I hope you’re all doing better than I am.",3.7272448979591815,5.543305755102043,5.241921768707481,79.29920918367347,73.08163265306122,8.16530612244898,27.215986394557824,8.841846274778883,2.2246965986394565,594,22,111,12,12,200,90,147,0.152,0.593,0.255,0.951,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,7,12,13,0,0,4,1,10,3,1,2,2,27,31,13,0,4,3,0,8,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,7,0,0,9,0,0,2,1,5,1,0,2,10,22,8,12,29,3,14,0,4,2,0,2,5,0,2,8,71,25,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613210498272041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340510684704374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398123027825108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396628889749055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739554979342475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5352362986795443,0.0945288262792924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691312939311592,0.0,0.07520002150966344,0.11098302410110313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628455413746746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13130633791821722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078577666027426,0.0,0.0,0.14376514223744444,0.0,0.0,0.06464445236288033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811297216095732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241725575223374,0.0,0.12696379185744544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13461614383391834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16953406978217975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544123010644768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13241470801989294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056702430859362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948753251105276,0.0,0.11565276817785634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715635969704618,0.0,0.2508461626162149,0.12643661700796194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377489002958045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804526218194735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11897080558405344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3853196647065219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14467021730987578,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,drbrydges,2019/03/26,"Lamictal - Issues since raising dosage Hi all, first post here,

​

So, I've been on Lamictal for about 8 months and haven't had any issues. I've had it slowly raised from 50mg to 300 mg last week. Since I've raised from 250 mg to 300mg I'm seeing a massive increase in being disoriented, vision being fuzzy, unable to think straight (like type at work or write), and last night I experienced a large amount of paranoia I haven't felt since before I went on the medication. Does this sound like 300 mg might be too much for me and I should go back down to 250 mg?

​

Thanks, all!",4.665254237288135,5.563194974576278,4.762500000000003,87.18917372881359,69.59322033898304,7.594915254237289,24.91949152542373,7.645422480735847,1.0143355932203382,469,12,98,5,8,146,79,118,0.04,0.8540000000000001,0.106,0.75,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,2,5,3,0,0,3,0,10,1,0,0,2,11,17,5,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,5,4,5,3,15,7,5,17,0,0,1,0,2,6,0,2,9,47,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3259844031193786,0.3655808798330446,0.10229841166697068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11567234925576768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128005917918513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13164340467926267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14443759523134905,0.0,0.0,0.12795674835425172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549354870508327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140222931674592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452431006575745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469862248879583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15154366288543372,0.0,0.15958378872561438,0.0,0.0,0.12007279226074613,0.0,0.1105842810069892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14116954199283738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14407155891157156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987423355285985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3733148650711927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13849688820179726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639027382947403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066687860381445,0.0,0.0,0.1394512801633154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951574501006026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3655808798330446,0.0
bipolarreddit,devileone1,2019/03/26,A question about abilify ? Hey guys I've been taking abilify for a while now these past few days I've been experiencing really fast heart beat as Soon as I woke and I can feel my heart racing called my doctor he told me it's my anxiety and I should take Xanax and to call him back of it doesn't stop he also told me the med doesn't effect heart rate and it's safe although on the list of side effects on the net I can see fast heart beat and anxiety as side effects  . I wanted to Know if anyone had these issues with abilify ? How was your experience with it? Any help is appreciated as idk what to do at this point ,2.1782875264270603,3.8282464341085287,3.9851867512332646,87.37832980972517,76.90697674418605,7.481606765327696,21.029598308668078,8.296473431620573,0.9046372093023248,486,12,108,9,11,164,83,129,0.038,0.871,0.091,0.8190000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,5,6,1,0,0,5,0,11,6,4,4,0,19,20,14,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,8,7,0,2,6,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,3,12,1,16,12,1,15,0,0,1,0,12,6,0,2,9,66,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429166123307564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718930096296202,0.0,0.21866411782882156,0.0,0.0,0.09993175322245984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098953012243242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918709951676885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217043851740683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14628286991991196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980145810325378,0.0,0.0,0.07226375404251516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14151152264203035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6774351884043331,0.09579508061712963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491695064586502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854412455389137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587499409454119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13643162724695648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510392773113736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16010113204882168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155708124273564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388732994605152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194860442688374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149134532889321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27312899714677713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429687813645884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jumpingjellyf1sh,2019/03/26,How much do I have to disclose to a potential employer? The store I work at is closing down in a week. I had an interview today that went really well but I have to fill out a medical form through a 3rd party company. As part of the form I have to consent to this company contacting my GP (who obviously knows I have bipolar). I got to the question about if I'm being treated for any illnesses and have no idea what to say. I'm in Queensland if that helps. ,2.2828723404255307,3.949501489361701,4.683989361702128,82.40875,76.65957446808511,8.955319148936171,29.835106382978722,9.516144504307137,2.9194936170212764,356,17,74,10,8,125,65,94,0.076,0.8059999999999999,0.11800000000000001,0.4398,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,8,0,9,3,0,1,1,11,14,6,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,3,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,3,1,8,2,17,10,4,10,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,3,2,58,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197189289115898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23191519908723585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943605279648081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3273404124530073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15935972305135473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921138917745905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21316103939276965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31400884755054764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3248323437102279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18576196746863946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23059548506967045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748573001250772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23259614322441166,0.0,0.2607175176649454,0.2688047483202961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211101341200044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheKingOfThings58,2019/03/26,Having extreme manic bounces up and down... I’ve recently and utterly destroyed the love of my life and she walked out. Packed up and said her goodbyes a few days ago and I am just skyrocketing and plummeting. You know how bad manic episodes can get. Idk where I’m going with this. I can’t keep a train of thought. I don’t really have friends to talk to anymore. I don’t want to feel so lost anymore. I hate the darkness in me. I want to reflect and grow but how do I do that when I literally can’t keep my mind in one place long enough to work through my issues?,1.6412587412587456,3.5800012222222213,2.980404040404044,92.63909090909094,79.51282051282051,6.305827505827506,25.166278166278172,7.348242739294969,1.0133145299145303,441,17,99,6,11,143,79,117,0.106,0.828,0.066,-0.5351,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,2,6,6,2,0,4,0,10,2,0,2,0,22,24,12,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,9,0,2,4,0,0,3,4,4,0,1,3,2,15,2,15,21,2,16,0,1,0,1,7,8,0,0,5,63,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17650568306902822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3949421857564834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16625482679928527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12841433920648446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20574164387357094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067980985245054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15383771566212515,0.0,0.1040306951529852,0.0,0.11316308531646993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19658734500607847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20782697695451854,0.0,0.35396963273720833,0.0,0.0,0.10942979132333136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14064260545298685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17621275496379027,0.0,0.0,0.2173603138094269,0.0,0.17971135180400874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20105195100512105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349271967194062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20803544684500264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275597933196325,0.0,0.1966045467184972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894063757700297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600431343311888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15807708325562592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348893653363397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14495993889341666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,me_aninsect,2019/03/26,"Never gets better I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder late last year, started meds, was doing great! The best I’ve been in years, until my meds started giving me side effects. It’s been about 2 weeks since I’ve stopped the meds and realized that I’m never going to get better. I can’t function without meds. I just think it’s better to kill myself now (16) then let my life get worse. There’s no hope. I’ll always be like this.",2.3602586206896556,4.389670126436784,3.5707902298850582,88.83135775862068,77.6206896551724,5.729310344827588,22.36925287356322,6.6274283507984215,0.5830701149425286,339,10,67,3,8,110,65,87,0.221,0.619,0.161,-0.6136,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,5,4,8,1,0,2,0,7,3,0,1,2,11,18,3,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,4,0,7,7,7,12,1,16,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,14,36,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11445585757352983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14435432352693406,0.3649657185185145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396143051580051,0.0,0.0,0.15764867764120052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21559869413616425,0.13195422750301192,0.07817504690249154,0.0,0.11001441342814296,0.15165365182540685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662205217877155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218300148188782,0.0,0.0,0.11212478126597182,0.15516678189597996,0.0,0.0,0.1406581743979778,0.09715838205566908,0.0672018836431403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6111654599858101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21218008327997134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137860011208174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19472270585635412,0.0,0.0,0.11500121318558422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813897997797229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033743524872036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13259704351729829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14017916777151465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17716039346886456
bipolarreddit,keikeimcgee,2019/03/26,"How to ask for a reasonable accommodation? So basically I’m asking for a reasonable accommodation tomorrow. I work in a job where I have the option to work from home two days a week. Many of the offices in my company work from home three and four, some even five days a week. It’s up to our individual office - mine is two. When I go into the office I start work at 6am and leave my house at 450am which means I’m up at 430am. I get home about 415/430pm. I work 9 hr days. Problem is when I get up so early I fall into a depressive state and want to die. 

My boss is great and I have reason that I’ll be approved for three days work from home - I’m just so nervous. I have no idea how to start the conversation. Any ideas? 

I’ve been here 4.5 years with the same management and my immediate boss knows I’m bipolar. 

Thanks!",1.5142763157894734,3.4028703216374296,3.5523940058479546,88.62929276315792,79.7017543859649,7.082017543859648,21.213815789473685,8.07648339933343,0.8431780701754392,639,18,146,12,16,217,95,171,0.1,0.833,0.068,-0.6318,1,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,1,0,0,7,12,5,0,1,11,0,8,1,0,7,0,25,23,12,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,3,8,0,0,7,0,0,2,1,3,0,6,1,0,16,2,24,21,2,27,0,1,0,0,4,11,0,2,13,87,19,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502258321346136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062719156399766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845936466248922,0.0,0.09501997443576984,0.0,0.11449657438586452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286648523442553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11527713757458463,0.0,0.06269840134782961,0.0,0.0,0.12163013525112865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4426469010493418,0.0,0.0,0.12729650458876055,0.0,0.24907968827810506,0.0,0.0,0.10947732871661736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060629956815086074,0.0,0.0,0.11681481980343295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184895390344007,0.0,0.12017274388880793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055630297111374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402874450843793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15617262601127976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156945890568077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155366678182784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06507063526506461,0.0,0.17698693056221104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4818933525546162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104359954209548
bipolarreddit,Stardust_and_Shadows,2019/03/26,"I need help I am barely hanging on after some information and events today. I quit smoking last week but am craving one (first time since I quit that actually feels like I #need one. I also want to get drunk and just go numb.


I am not looking for advice or all that. I posted this because I am proud me. I might be hanging on only by the tips of my nails, but I still am.",2.279615384615384,3.4073223461538475,4.154358974358973,88.43230769230772,75.53846153846153,6.225641025641028,23.256410256410252,6.42735559955562,0.48385641025640996,285,8,63,2,6,97,56,78,0.08,0.7829999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.5423,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,4,3,3,0,0,1,0,7,2,0,0,1,15,14,6,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,2,1,0,3,1,1,0,3,0,2,13,2,7,12,2,14,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,3,9,45,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.2090274095612484,0.0,0.0,0.20931286800730564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17129493186228648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13057377483578764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10830549395534897,0.15302386999470388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821976333152385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191018180879242,0.0,0.1217342769188122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14357313237043653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17460084404065812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046468539134206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17987328500657332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272313808787081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31765181665100684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902936886774452,0.1629080572509461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20514351450267285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4556541889637046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17718769759362166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17105966694768207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249012097184138,0.0,0.2030356880949805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634017075962672,0.0,0.1718175866761283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,neighborhood_trash,2018/11/10,"DAE feel like they have cooties or something? I know I'm shy and shit but why does it seem like friends are so hard to make? High school I was basically outcast by the ""popular"" crowd, which is nothing new, but they treated me like I had rabies or something.

Why I'm posting this now is I thought I made a new friend, a couple weeks ago. I went to his party. But I guess I was just another person to fill up the room because today I asked if he was doing anything, he said not much, and I said I was thinking of coming over to hang out. His response was ""hang out?"" Like that's so weird of me to ask. I can't deal with people anymore. This is why I don't even try. It's hard enough to just walk up to people and start a conversation when people like this so easily just ruin my self esteem.

/rant.",0.8551778795350486,2.87586938922156,2.5142303628038083,94.53357872490317,82.65269461077844,5.127016555125045,20.601972525537164,6.2272716619740125,0.023062979922508383,616,18,139,5,17,202,103,167,0.09,0.735,0.174,0.9506,0,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,0,9,12,1,0,5,0,14,1,1,2,0,25,31,13,0,1,10,0,3,5,2,0,0,2,1,2,7,7,0,0,5,0,0,6,3,3,0,0,11,5,20,9,16,20,2,22,0,1,0,0,17,7,1,5,13,83,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11264125556424087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332455921151583,0.0,0.0,0.12602082523738894,0.0,0.0,0.1045690524624683,0.0,0.23758947809402786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746163300746375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094608823710272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140602245081707,0.0,0.0,0.13100518085290508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120116335539224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13129887199556411,0.0,0.0839295555271322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06425119007252539,0.0907799355101649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19635031738371397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13998363047987142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22766228576721936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342580615968305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698351966716693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104036857102999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12023816618422452,0.08482124149314316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341220493922643,0.0,0.0,0.24545297558619486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219285723795107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642862237707028,0.11095396972631638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169941210822699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417482724368125,0.0,0.0,0.12860318525980807,0.0,0.11568116002005994,0.132563332331986,0.0,0.13043711253624024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956517634814211,0.0,0.0,0.08994189197175081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142231365177394,0.0,0.10088061089162287,0.0,0.0,0.12044896441425902,0.0,0.0,0.08627323631260496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192912673369796,0.0,0.0,0.11779659317792007,0.3439869077754606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BadGurrrrl1994,2018/11/10,"Is it possible to do well? To thrive? To succeed?     Hey guys! So just like many of you, I have been struggling with bipolar for as long as I can remember. Although I started therapy at a very young age and fought my hardest every day, I am still struggling to accomplish what I want to and stay stable. 
    I am trying to be realistic in planning for the rest of my life and what that will look like. I accept that I will always have some depressive and manic episodes and am trying to plan for them and how to work with them. 
    Basically my question is, is It possible for us to live a successful, balanced life? What do you guys think or how are you doing with this? By successful I mean having a career and being financially stable, having healthy platonic and romantic relationships, being in touch with your spirituality and being a good person, having good physical health, and continuously learning and growing as a person. 
    I have worked so hard and after about 10 years, I am able to have great relationships with people that I am so grateful for. But everything else still feels so far away. I have recently been in and out of PHPs, IOPs, and inpatients, where there are people so much older than me still going through the same issues and I DON’T want to be them. If I have the same mental issues, fine, but I want to be able to work around or work with them and be successful regardless. I have not seen any examples of people who have done this and it’s disheartening. How are you guys doing? Do any of you meet your own definition of “successful”? And if so, how did you get there? Do you know any famous bipolar people or people in your own life that are able to live and thrive? ",5.313274985883679,6.427525093167706,6.0225296442687775,77.9530039525692,68.25465838509318,9.208582721626199,28.300959909655557,9.457814108942452,2.4383490683229816,1328,44,249,27,22,434,152,322,0.037000000000000005,0.813,0.15,0.9826,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,1,10,4,12,20,18,1,2,8,0,44,6,0,4,0,55,57,40,0,6,9,0,3,2,0,2,6,0,0,5,13,27,0,0,8,0,0,2,2,5,1,0,6,5,36,13,47,42,7,26,0,2,2,0,27,10,0,7,15,201,49,12,0.2826986379724272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840930443625832,0.0,0.0,0.19224476797061427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388724112907263,0.0,0.0,0.08853489208173221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0607724114724703,0.0,0.08116264088109314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964329525054929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871947897634886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793952650613492,0.0,0.08469043576540412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047646975167507065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04923279012820005,0.0,0.053554716917466334,0.1580761366568264,0.0,0.10389208212615493,0.0,0.27991609740925066,0.0,0.0,0.08441415065062811,0.0,0.0,0.10016514419346743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967092870874942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05178792607385264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19967840839189424,0.09207484990237172,0.0,0.16641871773919728,0.0833931328660864,0.0791318854751675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553734919942784,0.0,0.10264723089918264,0.0,0.0,0.09496457854898092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06927200887730521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.326646067486657,0.1645610309884907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21246682537535286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556239105059467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09304359999332293,0.2023416934470297,0.10674748267227444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666985169995961,0.10043971127598253,0.225763497461498,0.0,0.0,0.19702533124247265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776350998402304,0.0,0.0,0.060380624114011225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795587890487733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11335055123853685,0.0,0.0,0.07775199430790032,0.16674298114528574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847266754262584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744106338246069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0606828847384395
bipolarreddit,ImInOverMyHead95,2018/11/10,"I’m a cluster of disorders and a mess I’m diagnosed as bipolar 2, social anxiety disorder, and Aspergers, and I’m also certain believe I have Schizoid Personality Disorder because I’m a functioning recluse. I go to school, the store, and to therapy just fine, but that’s the extent of my life outside the house. I hate getting recognized by people I know in public. I haven’t mentioned it to the psychiatrist yet because there’s no real treatment for it.

I have no idea how romance and relationships work, sex is so boring that watching QVC would be more entertaining, and I’m emotionally cold. I’ve learned how to fake an interesting personality that my peers get to know and it’s like being an actor on stage; you just play the part and say the right lines on cue.

I’ve accepted that I’ll never be in a relationship not just because of my inability to get emotionally close or search for one but also because my sexual past is so messed up that if anyone knew about it, they’d run fleeing the other way. I’m damaged goods. 

I’m graduating college this spring and for the last four of the six years it took me to finish, it was just something to do. Life was a lot more fun as a teen when all the fantasies of life I had in my head were actually achievable. I wanted nothing more than to be an airline pilot, but nobody told me until I got to college that all my diagnoses are medically disqualifying. 

The best analogy I can give about how bipolar and everything else affects my life is that life is like a long flight, say a trip back from Europe. Once the plane pushes off the gate, you’re captive for the next 8+ hours until the plane lands, bored and with nothing to do but sit and stare at the seat in front of you during those empty hours in the air. Takeoff is birth and landing is death. All I can say is that I’m glad I’m assured of my salvation so that I might have something better to look forward to on the other side after my time is done here, and no I’m not alluding to suicide. 

I’m a mess and I want nothing more than to get out of it, but the more you try, the more tangled you get. Thanks for letting me vent.",5.683878504672898,5.633183817757008,6.719042990654208,77.3829663551402,67.13084112149532,9.65173831775701,33.00785046728972,9.3871,2.837323813084113,1686,68,336,30,25,567,220,428,0.115,0.7509999999999999,0.135,0.9091,0,0,2,0,0,1,36.0,0,4,1,4,20,24,1,0,32,0,30,12,1,4,6,53,59,35,2,4,13,0,0,2,0,2,10,3,1,2,20,18,0,0,6,4,1,8,7,8,0,3,9,7,30,16,52,42,13,47,0,1,3,1,17,19,0,4,21,223,50,7,0.0,0.0,0.08900765208588485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14588096107851595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697752821992907,0.0,0.0,0.06377604474846264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07013474118607843,0.0,0.2224027010911026,0.0,0.0,0.10276226195048263,0.09571910571248599,0.0806676963062788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851521465777355,0.0,0.0,0.3136031551785736,0.0,0.0,0.09333933938748447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619412217168034,0.20519759948558344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197352794243996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382668987816744,0.0874967949900966,0.05183665716213876,0.07650249103196052,0.07294884567042947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005083925554701,0.0936076155832484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17964665010009048,0.1052439157052706,0.0,0.1029648135340493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002530915499232,0.0743481977454207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932682467388186,0.3221210565648728,0.08912104670444093,0.0,0.0,0.08071784311208192,0.0765932984818389,0.0,0.0,0.07754334899818646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188432363692356,0.0,0.09675923236431293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703466558026931,0.0,0.0970027055037179,0.0,0.0,0.26255492026716304,0.0,0.0,0.09713550875158336,0.06180615187923275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987713744043913,0.08707011819394246,0.06323342251910738,0.15928183802641696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038167726210584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19585047959425345,0.0,0.0778927097441197,0.0,0.21760119024778976,0.0,0.09230923316561404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09297695121934446,0.0,0.14043559044034387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976876708311364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397377136027999,0.10430640741205506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05318519443482461,0.0,0.0,0.08715491614241293,0.10133749446002233,0.061925497962150994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075958601510497,0.07239812993482556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06640185387000039,0.0,0.0,0.06479285734585387,0.0,0.0,0.05873615010688565
bipolarreddit,Kougaiji_Youkai,2018/11/10,"Encouraging: Mood tracking app results since starting Seroquel XR (Sep-Nov) I had a \*really\* rough summer...hypomanic and mixed episode that was pretty brutal, then of course the yo-yo bodyslam of a depressive episode. Psychiatrist added Seroquel XR to my mood stabilizer and...well see for yourself. Things and and often do get better! Hang in there while you search for the right balance for you. 

​

[https://imgur.com/a/rn2htsn](https://imgur.com/a/rn2htsn)",8.431174603174602,12.818295514285722,5.311904761904766,70.83198412698418,72.42857142857143,7.1111111111111125,33.49206349206349,8.167268648758528,3.4065873015873014,386,18,49,7,9,106,56,70,0.09,0.779,0.131,0.4753,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,2,0,1,2,6,1,0,4,0,3,0,0,1,0,5,6,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,2,4,2,7,4,0,6,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,1,3,27,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3366218667729597,0.3775104485009175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27477138963831266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26758840091550523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623175815867598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160734548295275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19902969146655286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26531919317273994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475718954060759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25699787182423445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21990104453975692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20640211987598875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3775104485009175,0.0
bipolarreddit,WeliveSingularity,2018/11/10,"How to Identify Manic episodes. I'm clearly depressed it's not very hard to see that. My therapist sees it. 

Usually the easiest way I know I'm manic is right when I wake up after 4 hours of sleep I'm ready to talk for hours about anything. 

Been in mental health system literally since 1st grade. Fucking want to die sometimes because I just want to be normal but cant. 

Best insight into ourselves is from experiences of others. Were more alike than different. 


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bipolarreddit,euan93,2019/05/27,"What were you doing at age 16? Iv been 26 for 2 weeks. I'm unemployed, basically on the sick but the way universal credit works (UK benefit) I get paid
Like a healthy jobseeker. So I'm broke, 5 grand in debt and cant work and have no qualifications. I'm basically venting here because I feel like iv wasted my life Due to mental illness. I left school at 15 and was a typical cunt. Done 
nothing but smoke weed. Dad died when I was 20, i became more of a cunt; Drank loads, took loads of drugs and was far too mentally ill to be in charge of a house and make major life decisions. I think i have cyclothymia (all of my friends agree. One is doing his PhD in psychology) but the mental health professionals in my town are a joke and I basically dont get any help. Most of this year iv been happy, probably elated and manic at times. No downs for a few months unless I drink or take drugs at the weekend.  and started planning for the future and going to try get the degree iv always wanted. Great idea in theory but im a loose cannon and dont know what's going to happen. I'm having a down day and struggling to be positive. Hopefully I'll be back to happy tomorrow.",2.9115256495669577,4.428672544303797,4.759125027759271,83.15902065289808,74.61181434599156,8.027448367754829,24.288030202087498,8.6894789155246,1.6186168776371312,911,28,188,18,19,311,148,237,0.17300000000000001,0.626,0.20199999999999999,0.907,4,0,4,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,3,5,15,2,1,14,0,20,14,0,1,1,27,41,19,1,2,6,1,1,2,1,0,12,0,0,0,3,11,2,0,5,3,3,3,5,4,0,1,10,1,14,11,27,28,5,32,0,1,0,0,5,15,2,3,15,106,17,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061418386996368,0.0,0.0,0.0867465636444297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09808733726269488,0.0,0.07776063752833633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226696490009974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13238926136111026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13054025875830358,0.2990035291253657,0.12496223892953835,0.2958629436175956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06449920183728222,0.0911303491287294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855411812179078,0.0,0.1999377078814135,0.0,0.14499289760386702,0.0,0.0,0.14063760292846658,0.0,0.0,0.1128026934950892,0.2715843339219792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13559248681961938,0.0,0.0,0.08550214864436502,0.0,0.0,0.12669789150683233,0.0,0.14718947101039018,0.0,0.14400201983363872,0.1377888963800794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010476289058495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13859653314567552,0.0,0.1802016870974981,0.12464074177032927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514865435145498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3856576098077393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10181880584539132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239922078891745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08643934178359836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375334576638467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12909959790047096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028907071393916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13335554421020054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591078117167033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173660653376674,0.0,0.0,0.07438245319918804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14172612357810674,0.08660625391998346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523939808022466,0.101252812343952,0.10232257660712152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18573337336868254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214577351559348
bipolarreddit,TalKaMo,2019/05/27,"What should I do? I was diagnosed with bi polar about 3 weeks ago officially. I was diagnosed with depression February., but after taking a bunch of ssri and a trip to the ER my therapist and my doc said I had bi polar. I see a phystrist and therapist regularly, I also exercise and eat a healthy diet. My physctrist prescribed me an anti physcotic for bi polar 2 weeks ago and so far I don’t get angry anymore but lately I’ve been feeling so depressed and suicidal . I tooksome Zoloft i had left yesterday because I didn’t want to feel depressed anymore. Anybody have any recommendations, should I stop taking the anti physcotic and try a different drug or should I just keep going with it? The problem is my doc doesn’t listen to me because I’m a teenager, and she’s very optimistic, should I change docs. I mean I was on Prozac for a month and I had really bad social anxiety and when I told her this she just said “Well Prozac is supposed to help with social anxiety” “So I suggest you wait a little longer for the medication to start working fully” this is after I be had been very depressed, anxious, and suicidal while taking Prozac for about a month with no change in my depression and anxiety, In fact think I felt worse.",4.5696624472573815,6.19094024894515,5.776223628691986,77.10121308016878,70.56118143459915,8.810970464135021,30.888185654008442,9.2995712137729,2.9387451476793243,977,42,174,21,18,326,127,237,0.289,0.65,0.061,-0.9968,1,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,1,10,8,0,0,14,0,22,14,0,0,1,37,42,21,2,6,5,0,3,0,0,4,9,3,0,0,4,17,2,3,5,1,0,2,4,7,2,0,14,7,31,1,22,23,1,22,0,5,1,3,12,6,0,1,14,119,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813893633529016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08182001230301297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06957664027906782,0.0,0.2348084796995325,0.11558505254664993,0.2029348584984526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542743968100866,0.12473863350614588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21646808346630328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.440612032901683,0.20769195375352667,0.0,0.1068957571278138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186510954160973,0.10469218056607428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346548787602014,0.0,0.09823693684415112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05345454388451626,0.0,0.058147079583202387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06857853486509116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090940876820596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154140045074587,0.0,0.11116384010471153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254493468121373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144931852199773,0.0,0.10307001592045713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16333120599420864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790013393810314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554460257981322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19464700126663909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815305564448875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085913127092429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07241797173597264,0.0,0.0,0.08553860803700862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238285706331004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23078089690625586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23758755403202425,0.0,0.06555831414535546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776486607052498,0.0,0.06946410234309301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16883858830741702,0.06034711134494061,0.0,0.16413932277946106,0.0,0.09199206012839632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744853949469411,0.0,0.10426612515479744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,OrlaW96,2019/05/27,"Partners Living with Depression  [https://cacsss.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_aXLwgppHWWWHieh](https://cacsss.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_aXLwgppHWWWHieh)

Are you in a relationship with someone with depression? If so, we want to hear from you! All answers are anonymised and the survey takes less than ten minutes to complete.

""Living with Depression"" is a research project I am conducting for my Master's in Applied Psychology in UCC and is part of a larger research project that hopes to develop a tool for assessing loved ones' views of depression and possibly guide future supports. Thank you!",13.930674157303374,15.569860044943828,10.444134831460676,51.88710112359551,49.67415730337079,12.962696629213484,45.88988764044944,12.340626583579946,6.329586966292133,500,25,61,13,5,144,63,89,0.159,0.703,0.13699999999999998,-0.6256,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,1,3,0,1,1,8,0,0,5,0,5,1,0,0,1,13,12,5,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,8,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,0,2,6,4,16,12,3,4,0,4,1,1,8,3,0,2,1,43,7,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20185179964523306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6632630006094999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21698214268016036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912141346308613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33999441395394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17375530360823727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304553985913861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20847858385555676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170354836267699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066926317440525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16312015097406066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21846751235453013,0.0,0.0,0.1447498202645453,0.0,0.0,0.1772450068632754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11355229532988095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,NonBelieverBeliever,2019/05/27,"Med question/update Hey. Haven't posted here for awhile. After my last hypomanic episode, I'm happy to say I've levelled out. Which...is pretty nice, I literally can't tell you when I felt like this last. Or if I've ever felt like this, which is sad.

Anyway. This last go 'round at my psychiatrist appointment I was put on busprione. And it's helped tremendously. But I'm worried this happiness from not being an anxious mess 24/7 is going to fling me hypo again. 

Can that actually happen? Has that happened to anyone else? I've also been told to increase my lamictal slightly, but I still worry... Thanks for the insight!",2.101723163841811,4.904260754237292,3.678000000000005,82.70457062146896,85.52542372881356,6.197514124293786,23.12090395480226,7.554174236665415,1.4836964971751416,491,18,87,9,15,162,88,118,0.047,0.7829999999999999,0.17,0.9093,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,0,7,8,0,0,2,0,9,0,0,0,1,11,19,7,0,1,5,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,8,2,0,0,3,0,0,4,3,2,0,0,5,4,9,6,11,13,1,17,0,1,1,0,6,4,0,2,10,52,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.15562699836428118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275340690328483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18016413901354325,0.0,0.11151034971883393,0.16340350636391196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332229561020001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14425649496297846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062467465455557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812694340391728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28205078656768284,0.3395334483102977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689438138026364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3899862509938765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558252651840768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17714350906322832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15273532529998446,0.16224591240425745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16031889764394686,0.17865125597669226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268228790264831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735890744730713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139390331357616,0.14682542086964315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15238754954289296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32391420849663144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,WolfWand1234,2019/09/17,"How can you tell the difference between improvement on your Bipolar Disorder and your Manic Phase? Hi, this is my first time posting on the sub. For the past few days, I’ve felt more excited, productive, louder, and overall happier. I’m still quite youthful so I would assume this should be normal, but there was such a sudden change from feeling tired, socially anxious, and self loathsome for weeks that I’m slightly uncertain of where I stand. If anything, the only odd thing is that I’ve been waking up at around 2am and 3am, and I usually start my day there with about 4 hours of sleep (I can’t fall back asleep). Any opinions?",4.7939577594123035,6.343987991735537,4.964077134986232,83.41864095500459,69.9090909090909,8.352984389348027,29.973370064279145,8.841846274778883,2.415638383838384,501,20,94,9,9,157,95,121,0.113,0.8079999999999999,0.078,-0.7413,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,3,0,2,10,2,0,1,5,0,9,5,3,1,0,18,14,9,0,4,2,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,2,9,1,13,8,2,22,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,4,13,59,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337478239326745,0.0,0.0,0.22219022354704285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16184928381618352,0.17508516993987613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151233286519681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20805930696257616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536821534979754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20548670999542448,0.2254100940491357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09944633572450227,0.0,0.18884177908012129,0.0,0.0,0.16729425580522106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19368826951827944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927027382995517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495825258899889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877514611081332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883632128887914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091913244430684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20517810856055468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19682009671010356,0.20048851205103813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392097418681803,0.0,0.1570673513128887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17190529177572306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13066416255147342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146845573611864,0.2260524953537118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21661309460600456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15776327482530406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13971444955384513,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,quietwyatt_,2019/09/17,"Bipolar 2 Meds Are there any other Bipolar 2 meds that are “safer” than Lamictal? I cannot get over the anxiety of the possibility of Stephens Johnson Syndrome. 

I already have SVT, & POTs so taking anything freaks me out 😩",2.8435714285714297,5.736265738095242,3.9812380952380977,81.48042857142859,82.09523809523809,6.217142857142857,32.20952380952381,7.554174236665415,2.5861466666666675,179,10,31,3,5,58,35,42,0.086,0.843,0.071,0.1119,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3303156544640087,0.0,0.0,0.3243215304409484,0.0,0.2035531584703465,0.0,0.22898493654744415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246321263017568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563864135813775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6649713819576534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3374471032309034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22505724283068326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ghoststrat,2019/09/17,"Abilify Insomnia? My Dr. and I are trying a few different meds to find the right one.  Last night I took my first dose of Abilify and I've noticed three things:

1.  I didn't sleep *at all*.  Not a wink.
2. My body temp feels pretty high, but I'm cold without a blanket.  So, hot and cold at the same time.
3. I itch like there are little bugs biting me.

Anyone else have similar reactions?",-1.0802169981916805,0.8378576962025335,1.3980560578661851,95.08977848101269,104.9493670886076,5.295117540687162,17.035262206148282,6.868970318607317,0.3251945750452081,294,9,65,6,14,99,63,79,0.0,0.9209999999999999,0.079,0.6917,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,5,0,4,6,3,0,1,10,7,5,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,2,4,8,1,5,5,3,10,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,5,36,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15857851203436513,0.232375604288958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519152182252395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369497768927359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18945594019517745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467304655977807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20728413545656094,0.19290949078588132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396186114395775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18486606714803774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107993058606545,0.22730555493555255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519152182252395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21282929435592726,0.0,0.0,0.2582046387951126,0.0,0.0,0.15368039266522515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23072939361770786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936794615950992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269561764091905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506707862768215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13224446622548186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519746896839105,0.1539771455341268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186197705247108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TalkingDrums1198,2019/09/17,Enough is enough How do you know when you’ve exhausted all resources and avenues to the fix? How do you know when enough is enough?,4.091153846153849,5.668803500000003,3.0953846153846136,96.0246153846154,71.69230769230771,6.7384615384615385,24.538461538461537,7.1686216300943375,0.6466769230769231,105,3,23,1,2,30,16,26,0.106,0.894,0.0,-0.4329,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,2,1,6,6,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,6,5,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,18,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9664095963761736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25700679374686003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,deerhuntre,2019/09/17,"Accommodations for college? I’ve been dealing with insomnia due to mania (i’m pretty sure, since i deal with that feeling of my brain never stopping) more often lately. It has been affecting my sleep schedule and it’s hard for me to have perfect attendance in some of my classes because I get exhausted at certain points of the day. I’ve missed 4 classes this semester and was in class partially 3 times.

I am taking 15 units (5 classes) and I don’t know if I should drop some, or continue with them and talk to my psych about coming up with a plan to provide accommodations for participation. For example, I could use the Lab Hours available for my morning ceramics class to keep up with some of the time missed. I don’t always miss that class, but I have missed two days in the past four weeks.

I have dealt with loss of motivation because of stress recently, but things are starting to improve and I feel confident with maintaining my former study habits (I have a 3.5 GPA for all of my classes so far). It’s weird how quickly your mood can change when you’re bipolar lol 

I’m not trying to come off as overly confident or something, but I am able to learn things well and keep up with homework when I am not depressed, so I think with the support I have from family I should be able to keep on track with my workload as it is. It’s just my in class time that is a potential worry.

Has anybody else dealt with talking to their college’s disabilities office with something like this or maybe has some sort of general advice for this? 

My two options are to drop classes I feel like I might miss occasionally that require my necessary in class time (I would receive a W that I would have to make up later, and it would delay my graduation date), or talk to my psychiatrist who can help provide documentation about my mood disorder and its effects on my learning and life in general to figure out a plan for school.",5.995729520684402,6.5341429946091685,6.412998945271301,77.81463025899453,66.49326145552561,9.471041837571779,33.111566858080394,9.43228470229965,2.928774194304465,1525,63,290,28,23,494,192,371,0.092,0.7829999999999999,0.125,0.9478,0,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,2,7,11,19,0,1,10,1,31,6,2,6,5,76,54,24,0,7,11,0,4,2,0,6,4,0,1,0,18,24,0,6,10,0,0,4,5,10,1,3,3,4,39,7,63,43,6,48,0,7,0,0,11,18,0,13,26,199,57,21,0.22234668270041225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863730249552106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250512591406176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13554047402687555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410621617829642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760665408951435,0.19153197922563212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876286681102122,0.0,0.0,0.14339521605964914,0.2292296666540505,0.09575343600103964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12741428079393696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09287106124651627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10480433205097173,0.0,0.16863774531544906,0.07942225727407119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05808348234503291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958947718013404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745171472735838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10948334706570086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29644792169563017,0.0,0.0,0.06109796097202145,0.0,0.12540837141293645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852501878195492,0.10862735800266307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420906862640601,0.0,0.1116885640989807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11793734659511505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574373446837535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061275338445534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509474197551384,0.0,0.0,0.11310325569082975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097702625314942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11251335670783584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09196373679850076,0.0,0.1112536294077604,0.0,0.0,0.17117333921885408,0.0,0.0,0.07868906321372354,0.0,0.0,0.0929458913814702,0.12734868690114914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261581903005142,0.10477955854011738,0.0,0.0835885170023133,0.26807076181791484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14771725611727896,0.07123538815443649,0.0,0.0,0.2593042774945349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754794011670036,0.0,0.2172004007616912,0.0,0.0,0.09601807217059252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917654855856003,0.0,0.09995818525539116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290192462354415,0.0,0.23692305592858895,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,OctoberOctoberaus,2019/09/17,"Losing hope. Lately I've been a train wreck. I've been having major panic attacks, take meds for it but they don't seem to last long. So the only thing helping is drinking, and that's getting out of hand considering I black out and wake up with cut marks on my arms. A day after I wake up in a hospital I told them I wanted to end it all to get away from my legal issues. By which I mean taking my own life.

I seriously tried everything, seen a counsellor, to a therapist. Nothing helps. Don't worry I take my meds regularly.

I guess it's a bump in the road.",1.359463869463866,3.228215264957268,3.7872416472416472,86.85447552447556,80.1111111111111,6.6477078477078475,20.892773892773896,7.686295010490155,0.7921179487179488,434,12,93,7,11,151,82,117,0.157,0.748,0.095,-0.6233,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,2,1,1,6,2,1,8,0,6,6,4,0,1,12,18,4,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,5,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,4,3,14,1,18,14,3,15,0,1,2,0,5,9,0,3,6,58,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191612293580007,0.15824458231188812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10862276604651283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16499629055690648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491780945239961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513731176306863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17599439332220929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18554352352230055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22578880599154735,0.0,0.0,0.1672879927495226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17579610840488402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372921083846682,0.18999523920791134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896637807501464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14905435775412804,0.0,0.18842895956192268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183468548921004,0.3741732809908379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16161216036321685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12809783810451916,0.0,0.19761513203903866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15333142855125018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37991292217476735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19555904135628435,0.1118967382118624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16094111970613062,0.0,0.11435222958740568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09934378331658596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17104781709708972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,chaffinyo,2019/05/17,"Just wanted to brag... I was diagnosed on 2014, that was my last episode of true mania. I've been rebuilding my life slowly since then. I just wanted to say that my bank has finally allowed me to have a debit card/  checking account, this is a big step for me and I am so proud of myself! Thanks for listening ☺️",0.9511160714285722,3.196273843750003,2.9100892857142884,90.48312500000002,84.0,6.1571428571428575,21.642857142857146,7.447530270364453,0.8785294642857138,242,8,51,4,7,81,49,64,0.0,0.8440000000000001,0.156,0.8745,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,7,2,0,1,1,7,11,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,9,3,8,8,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,34,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3850193347881887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4155454274153549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3092104970721933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26793712568232153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016642153201541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137917021480322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3492427842333027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4474858894917253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BeerIsTheMindSpiller,2019/05/17,Books with characters with bipolar who are not cliches? I'm just wondering if anyone knows of any fictional stories where a character has bipolar but it doesn't serve as the main plot point or like some kind of character flaw?,6.316428571428574,7.9851625476190495,5.884285714285718,77.81071428571428,66.3809523809524,10.361904761904762,35.42857142857143,10.504223727775694,4.057228571428572,185,9,32,5,3,57,38,42,0.0,0.9129999999999999,0.087,0.5588,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,10,6,4,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,6,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,4,1,20,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154887370399798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3243910831950482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4831123592405434,0.2549641412367131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266530716192381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4385644006769919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5031129779297274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,purpleeeee88890,2019/05/17,"Hospital today. Does it ever get better? I’m losing all will to fight this. The ups and downs are too much even while taking my meds regularly. I’m on 150mg of Lamotrigine (along with others) and I took 900mg. Not enough to overdose but enough to be shaky, dizzy and pass out. The doctor gave me a pill to flush my system and told me “just try not to hurt yourself tonight!!!”

Guys. I want to hurt myself. I just need hope.",0.27850951374207256,2.63514361627907,1.8660676532769536,95.60884778012684,89.58139534883722,4.52262156448203,14.79492600422833,6.1124844417494595,-0.7255906976744191,325,6,72,3,11,105,65,86,0.08900000000000001,0.7440000000000001,0.16699999999999998,0.8463,0,0,0,0,1,2,15.0,0,0,0,2,5,7,1,1,3,0,3,2,0,0,2,18,13,6,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,5,0,0,3,0,8,2,13,8,4,11,0,3,0,0,4,4,0,2,4,47,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18465373435428556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21370072104599447,0.1827095251837943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4314622947389162,0.0,0.13790079866557106,0.18885836264703496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10908176295503366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20673038778549455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20737102842723384,0.0,0.0,0.4470182136812764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23357747610933102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319135307135897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15348130447404834,0.15481174101460804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569806497352492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19790416244725245,0.19950341301340105,0.2319682802283441,0.1417515929430335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123147048246662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,asian-alice,2019/05/17,"I got Disability insurance Hi. 23 female. Recently applied and got approved for disability and life insurance. 

After going on Depakote and Seroquel a little more than a year ago, I have been stable enough (despite some challenging times) to hold down a job with benefits (health insurance and 401k).

After experiencing poverty via my ex husband and losing my first job out of college cause of a mental breakdown, I’ve been very concerned about my future financial stability. 

Anyways, I know that my stability isn’t guaranteed forever so I figured that if my brain tweaks out majorly when I’m 30 or something, at least I will be covered financially. 

Just thought I’d share because my financial advisor stated how disability insurance is super overlooked by the general public. 

I was hospitalized March 2015 but still got approved. They probably contacted my psychiatrist who probably reported back that I’ve been aight.

I am a pretty high-functional bipolar gal so I know not everyone would be able to get approved. But I guess for people who are in a similar position as mine and don’t have disability insurance, I would consider it for sure.

Thx for reading bipolars <3",6.894981707317076,9.252763678048783,7.768826219512197,62.18445884146345,65.87804878048779,11.759146341463413,40.1295731707317,11.45678717892309,5.8501768292682925,954,56,136,34,16,319,140,205,0.025,0.8340000000000001,0.142,0.9704,2,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,7,9,6,0,0,7,0,16,5,1,2,1,28,26,15,0,3,6,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,6,9,0,1,4,1,0,1,3,1,0,1,8,1,19,5,21,13,5,21,0,1,0,0,9,7,0,4,12,93,25,6,0.15650111077361578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13872879196412455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033969394785915,0.0,0.0954016245368032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17470699764820793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607697509795319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16170748281306754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14954351805195198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311976487540808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176537103407389,0.0,0.08894318782215893,0.0,0.3755047048026306,0.0,0.172403617608378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663533624304832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16535201603954922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3106064078505376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720178352470946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054136282710733,0.0,0.15685522731217275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17508471152189664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15771631020571128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849816488287704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592178928216978,0.33746933426345177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15654346219680787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15452596645426284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204822010260193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12498198922453575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14750044478956434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424440061053985,0.0912570562406897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291298065104623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22234779771469576,0.0,0.0,0.100781584247739
bipolarreddit,somepainwillast,2019/04/04,"Positive experiences with mood stabilizer? Hi everyone. 
So, I had an issue on Friday evening. I had what my husband thought was a seizure but the emergency room physician said was a dystonic reaction likely to my medication (seroquel 100mg) which I’ve been on for about two years at varying doses. 
Aside from that I’ve been having odd neurological symptoms for about the same amount of time that I’m having investigated by a neurologist currently. 
So, I’m seeing a new psychiatrist and at the request of the treating doctor Friday they have come to the decision to taper me off of seroquel, and add a mood stabilizer. I’ve never tried a mood stabilizer. This is the plan so far. She also affirmed my bipolar diagnosis made by the last psychiatrist I saw and also suspects I suffer from PMDD. But, that’s another story. 

Week 1
50mg of seroquel nightly 
450mg of depakote 

Week 2
25mg of seroquel nightly 
900mg of depakote 

Week 3
Stop seroquel 
(Start 1/2 tablet of trazodone for sleep as needed)

Just wanted to hear positive experiences with depakote. I’m trying to go into this win a positive attitude instead of being fearful.  ",6.086939102564106,7.761577533653848,7.404538461538461,66.67379487179487,66.93269230769229,9.96974358974359,36.94358974358975,10.203070172399654,4.328122051282051,909,48,143,23,15,310,126,208,0.10099999999999999,0.813,0.087,-0.2382,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,2,10,8,0,1,15,0,11,8,1,1,1,20,25,11,0,2,3,1,0,1,0,0,7,2,1,0,7,8,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,2,0,1,10,4,10,3,32,14,2,23,0,1,2,0,7,8,0,0,14,91,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590153669644287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16981387953746005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13950162851880998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16575798629633834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696341399120557,0.0,0.0,0.15474577642267576,0.0,0.3168273658997024,0.0,0.18223360639728006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920373068411186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18252424354181185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169028930188078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320071212843833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911834569001999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532366597955941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16314296004868492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200804673002888,0.1249022815091552,0.15640788324270374,0.0,0.3039495880054028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15404716719820016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904952225000435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620623620531536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11462579261505347,0.0,0.0,0.13539361170150022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683232856795134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12856656369397884,0.0944316691620656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199006019776449,0.0,0.15819713106759967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551959691942892,0.0,0.3897085113379652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428753253020123
bipolarreddit,wenca7590,2019/04/04,"I was recently diagnosed with bipolar and it's making me question my own identity I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder three weeks ago. I am going through a major depressive episode and went to see a psychologist my mother recommended. My anxiety is slowly killing me and forcing everyone that I care about away from me. The meds aren't doing their job and I'm just really looking for some support and reassurance that I'm not all alone and absolutely insane.

I prided myself in my abilities in the arts and my motivation and commitment when school started, and always attributed my falling grades to the lack of motivation as the year dragged on. After being diagnosed I'm just not sure exactly of who I am anymore. I'm afraid people are going to look at all my past, recent, and future achievements with ""oh its due to mania"", but I feel like I need that validation to keep doing what I do. It has always been a way for me to express myself.

My mom and grandma also have bipolar. My mom is extremely unstable and controlling, and the only thing holding her back from completely grabbing my skin and stepping into it herself is the fact that I wasn't bipolar like her. Now that I am, she has been forcing her past feelings of when she was young onto me. She's pushing onto me her experiences, trying to relive her life through me, and its making me question my own identity and whether or not I'll just end up like this nightmare that is my mother. 

My mother is also only taking me to her psychiatrist and doctors. I should trust them, as they are reputable institutions in the area, but I don't because of their affiliation with my mother. She is the only person I know who has this, so I decided to make an account and find some people to help me go through this process.",7.331406613879834,7.309133781710916,8.041577394814473,69.18721006054963,63.69026548672566,10.912653314702688,37.31113181183047,10.5429385540328,4.1158991150442485,1428,66,243,32,19,479,172,339,0.055999999999999994,0.847,0.09699999999999999,0.9325,1,1,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,4,5,12,12,1,1,12,0,28,10,1,7,6,60,51,29,1,3,10,6,4,3,0,1,9,0,0,1,18,23,0,3,9,1,1,7,6,3,0,1,7,7,56,9,39,42,8,37,0,1,3,0,29,11,0,5,21,196,74,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401981774434652,0.0,0.0,0.10985087908907733,0.0,0.16963955333153585,0.17650839275208652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113908503453597,0.0,0.10518752619952924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996511295195192,0.08155708654418366,0.0,0.06465596091822362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10813987035437346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120665530590593,0.0,0.11896040375374595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135323541278546,0.32295983531651984,0.0,0.0,0.12155915520559382,0.10856155403438804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939417034169708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013492160713752,0.0,0.1037514751814199,0.0,0.0,0.107258839582643,0.0757725306660981,0.0,0.0,0.09694107072219543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18083677202645354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109282738531696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10525269283641453,0.09427503913279192,0.11734470198914787,0.0,0.05829029897013464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491652337680542,0.15545333445441786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17813500605682098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212396718043142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178137966621568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484430215724216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864551464801936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420005930622915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20250121537099888,0.14706359860067322,0.09261146779148396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23763312419835125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06794766214257278,0.0,0.3141778212821724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734297996681844,0.08451970849723874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507302940122998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12036078640194935,0.0999645764947709,0.0,0.07974733639255555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046456939919102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201086239401883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418909728440926,0.08507857862856615,0.0,0.0,0.09832289391675528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830208818807629
bipolarreddit,tiravalo23,2019/04/04,"Unbearable, mind boggling irritability I had my meds down to a science. Topamax, Seroquel, Buspar, Sertraline, Gabapentin, and a little Klonopin for the bad days.  And then something happened. I developed an allergy to Seroquel. A bad one. I had been fighting a rash for weeks without nailing down the cause...took two Seroquel and 45 minutes later I went into shock. If my husband had not hit me with the epipen I would have been dead almost immediately.

​

I had to give up ALL my meds. We are slowly reintroducing ( I take 1 sertraline a day and the occasional klonopin) because this is the 7th time I have developed a reaction after years of taking a medication. I realize not dying is super important......but.

​

I can live with mood swings, fatigue, headaches, depression, anxiety- and more. But this irritability is not okay. I quit smoking 4 yers ago. It feels like that only worse. I wan't everyone around me to sit down and shut up. People at work drive me crazy. My kid drives me crazy. My husband drives me crazy. I spend my entire day 5 seconds from screaming, crying, or throwing something. 

​

Does anyone else deal with this pervasive irrational bitchiness???? 

NOTE: For those of you that will ask - I have an appointment with my Pych tomorrow, just looking for some feedback from folks that may have felt the same thing.",4.38150290885585,7.475712147058829,4.5396638655462205,78.81947640594703,76.68907563025209,7.527084680025857,31.422753716871362,8.502166056373571,3.0230861021331603,1073,53,174,23,26,334,152,238,0.223,0.767,0.01,-0.9936,0,0,2,0,3,0,63.0,1,1,0,3,2,11,1,0,15,1,18,3,1,0,1,31,28,10,2,2,8,2,2,1,0,3,2,1,0,1,9,13,0,0,3,0,1,5,4,7,0,3,8,4,28,3,26,16,4,27,0,2,1,0,9,10,0,5,12,117,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651797764140736,0.0,0.10903033404264097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35392320344407685,0.3969133334917017,0.0,0.0,0.08329499655596279,0.0,0.0,0.07613334206952338,0.11156323226257513,0.0,0.09692872131393304,0.10179066195437947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18182507641426976,0.06637390648062662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196025749694782,0.21066107512561585,0.11225332186800747,0.09378054270448356,0.0,0.11300309169172483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952840177843464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909575560833667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404212224012056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055054383900373684,0.07778584979338646,0.10454450358742552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445024380613634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628464563549248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05319460591436825,0.10912910801219416,0.09614545249107218,0.0,0.09143407711390747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418883521558649,0.10968790350463564,0.0,0.0,0.10994052641514436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378176118605992,0.08281022870414312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07548558092401852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581019451960255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16764650250575344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16373253672598825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723368529842898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349040014806219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12097272824965033,0.0,0.0,0.10636261375958124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873391647297512,0.0,0.0,0.1009353889889506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495907395644864,0.0,0.07926793006173541,0.0,0.11096081214936286,0.0773471730871588,0.0,0.3969133334917017,0.07011691342057069
bipolarreddit,zelliebear,2019/04/04,"Tired on Abilify so i was officially diagnosed 2 days ago as bipolar and my doctor has prescribed me 15mgs of abilify. im about 5’9 and 110lbs and i feel like im a zombie. today is day 2 of the meds, and im exhausted. yesterday i woke up feeling almost like i was hungover i felt nauseous, dizzy, and hot. today i was a bit dizzy when waking up and after about 3 hours of jitteryness i just feel exhausted. im at work in the back ready to pass out sleeping at any moment. does this go away? will this tiredness adjust as i adjust to the meds?",0.7084065934065933,3.0243940714285737,3.15214285714286,87.8082417582418,85.96428571428572,6.303296703296704,22.008241758241766,7.61054688173877,1.144599450549451,424,15,87,8,13,146,71,112,0.113,0.8029999999999999,0.084,-0.4696,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,5,0,6,8,2,0,0,15,12,10,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,1,6,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,6,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,5,5,10,2,18,6,1,21,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,1,13,51,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314797472240916,0.0,0.1485244625922901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086500010252172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935471940020258,0.11405154126463316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16193074038863092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19131264858156824,0.0,0.0,0.15054513161757885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181528772484973,0.12979880928842716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22499030716409693,0.10596226856765376,0.14241372686455736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429560790226226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14606867424364714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6408589096149404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449266449674509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32950772669589296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14843052014690036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17047593221781918,0.2811864856310758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10798120373196388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,connie1122,2019/04/04,"Documentary on Bi Polar and Families Do you hear voices? Do you have intrusive thoughts?

Do you experience paranoia and/or severe anxiety? 

Do you have unexplainable visions? 

And, do you feel misunderstood and alone?

If you or someone you know are experiencing these sensations, we’d love to hear your story. We’re looking for brave individuals to share their voice in a new documentary series.

Email us at [fightstigmanow@gmail.com](mailto:fightstigmanow@gmail.com) including a brief description of your situation.",9.028037518037516,13.42375064935066,8.434978354978355,49.82643578643579,68.48051948051948,11.214430014430015,34.529581529581534,10.504223727775694,5.443021356421356,428,20,53,15,9,135,58,77,0.122,0.733,0.145,0.6072,0,1,0,0,2,0,20.0,2,9,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,9,2,0,0,0,8,16,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,7,12,3,7,14,0,5,0,0,1,2,17,3,0,2,1,35,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25171501640141475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18592410265285528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377386917020933,0.2291154565703288,0.0,0.12288777654136325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.54784503529637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13356783016195026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20409147538500333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21935210718815054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347284959329271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274564792578849,0.0,0.0,0.273185920312532,0.0,0.0,0.20592608166760548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19294574862523955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29234588685790985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,aha98,2019/04/04,"I’m aware I might be manic right now And obviously trying to convince myself that I’m not manic but having an spiritual awakening? I wrote a lot of bullshit about feeling connected to the universe on my journal half an hour ago and just read through it and it’s clear that I’m being way too philosophical and believe shit I normally would not, yet questioning my sanity at the same time. 

I also ordered a tarot deck online and it’s arriving today. I am Christian so this does not make sense at all! I’ve also been gettin really into meditating and trying to align my chakras (but all the times my mom would tell me to do that before I would sceptically tell her that It is not true) why now? 

I also ordered a 23andme test to see where my ancestors were from cause I want to practice the magic they used to practice? Make no sense but???? 

Like I know this isn’t me and I might be manic but!??? I kinda want to believe I’m just happy and spiritual because I had the most awful depressive episode last month. Then again, I also stopped taking my Lamictal and now I’m titrating back up so yeah I might actually be manic. 

But I’ve been sleeping just fine? I mean, my sleep pattens are a mess but overall I’ve been getting at least 5 hours of sleep every night! Plus it’s not like I’m euphoric all the time? I suddenly get this waves of euphoria and need to dance? At last  happy? 

I also have a atrong desire to go vegan to feel more connected to nature and at the same time to do keto so that I can fast easily and feel more connected to myself! 

I’m making no sense and I know that! But I keep questioning whether I’m actually manic or happy or just faking it 

 I’m honestly confused but happy? ",2.362323529411768,4.4842791588235285,4.344926470588234,82.83591911764705,78.0,7.3088235294117645,24.742647058823533,8.278499904357787,1.7212941176470586,1334,48,259,26,32,455,169,340,0.11699999999999999,0.72,0.163,0.945,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,0,21,16,2,1,14,2,24,4,4,5,6,74,53,34,0,8,20,1,3,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,15,15,0,2,8,2,0,2,8,6,0,1,6,4,33,10,29,37,10,37,1,1,1,0,8,10,1,11,24,178,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.17750763117555587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062144692961103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3636623260446523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699347274043293,0.0,0.05544211047106622,0.0,0.07739152038814312,0.20493839872858374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343042466509023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07833486808820166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959072051407295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07662906908759064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13796074674368886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503495890324272,0.0,0.051688826776556736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3872707097604849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791343247495235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084029778592518,0.0,0.0,0.09996718474205828,0.14827233563275086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886688682185857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07732220697612538,0.0,0.0,0.1821289504974433,0.0,0.0,0.09907091741737263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28944986855930305,0.0,0.10651922307059357,0.07259520576403641,0.0,0.0,0.06743807143604573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535015931277824,0.08911142370296339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20376902200947994,0.0,0.09097434102173442,0.0,0.05826472512756992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767057139751522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07247515849950754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335858956219424,0.0,0.0,0.27304623461958977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07603804568045719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06838287717417807,0.0,0.15898814336924905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21213407289134026,0.0,0.0862097083666881,0.0,0.0,0.12349779142608487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855136412530539,0.0,0.0,0.10728901286644556,0.07219166130722472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820679838566014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19382423345119576,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ITS_MY_ANUS,2019/04/04,"How in the WORLD do you all use things such as ""To-Do"" lists on a daily basis?! How do you organize your life? I've tried:

 - ""Traditional"" pen & paper lists, as that's what we were taught throughout school, except I lose lists all the time
 - Various mobile and desktop apps, where I end up over-using the solution and I'm left with a huge, clutter-y mess, in which there's a million things I need to do when only a dozen them are critical
 - Not doing anything and forgetting everything I need to do

And no matter method I try, I can never seem to remain consistent in any realm of my life, and it's absolutely eating me alive !! ",4.732659999999999,5.213509576000003,5.79655,81.33402500000003,69.24,9.13,26.825,9.188382445141503,1.9935,487,14,99,9,8,162,89,125,0.092,0.8370000000000001,0.07200000000000001,-0.5223,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,1,3,1,1,6,2,0,0,7,0,8,3,0,3,3,20,14,10,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,7,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,2,0,13,0,13,12,3,13,0,1,0,0,5,9,0,1,4,66,19,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378695256100763,0.0,0.1492934902469882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806612157447625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246423652476849,0.0,0.0,0.1944456645254488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973067597015937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23852887423027005,0.0,0.31013261718879265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456070670078398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255695564685163,0.16932137801875302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669686781694345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22218435809222625,0.0,0.1998593132082698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917028225794357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12801447786171893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981040258362211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640773987421276,0.189610499186097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,certifiablycrazed,2019/04/04,"What does depression make you do? It makes me cheat. I am a very good student, 4.0 since I’ve been back. I do have a problem. When the depression kicks in, we’re talking deep, hurting every being of your body depression, I can’t do my work. Everything is covered in deep, dark mist and it doesn’t lift. So I cheat. I go online and pay for essays. I don’t care either. I have accommodations but only for taking tests. I know I should have remorse but I can’t muster up the strength to care. ",0.3141538461538467,2.6962834000000058,2.16,93.27730769230772,90.0,5.0769230769230775,19.69230769230769,6.67199483983844,0.25365384615384645,380,12,82,5,13,125,68,100,0.185,0.687,0.127,-0.2031,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,2,3,11,2,0,4,0,15,1,1,2,0,10,22,6,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,4,7,0,0,1,0,14,4,7,19,1,8,0,4,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,51,17,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15761585771908662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276849676574451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4179785998191951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5296431922147916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17937811650823896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727032748783984,0.0,0.18422150988805305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649403764424975,0.1719262884232711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21943378467642424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11265085424431433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736495568900488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15589542924381206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19613679603708092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16956038049443986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15411836492608966,0.1647539996222403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691287765703038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922683073841636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,andwithdot,2019/09/11,"Today I thought I was sliding into an episode again As soon as I get into work I notice I'm feeling less motivated than usual. The bikie ride felt heavier than usual. I get back on my programming project but progress is slow. There's a persistent error with my XML parser and it's hard to find the error. On my way home I go for some groceries and avoid eye contact with everyone and use the self-checkout. I finally get home and I'm greeted by... My pill organizer which still has the Wed morning dose. First missed dose in 2+ months and I felt it immediately.

Take your meds kids.",2.003205128205128,4.332221222222223,3.542414529914532,87.0310576923077,80.36752136752136,6.293162393162394,25.98931623931624,7.492282038375204,1.4199008547008551,461,19,93,7,12,152,83,117,0.124,0.795,0.08199999999999999,-0.7047,0,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,5,5,2,0,1,6,0,3,4,1,2,0,19,16,8,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,2,1,3,9,0,1,6,0,0,3,0,2,0,1,4,5,13,0,14,12,2,20,0,1,1,0,4,5,0,1,11,53,16,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14143283219352684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17575550178343832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300185981843552,0.0,0.3532083216123207,0.2014891959318708,0.16811108352534546,0.15645299360178644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882916090607865,0.0,0.10453314733756257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16476750051608294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36899883195752375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20430767747415865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14681326339514578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209408508294709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918818380902788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468888288586296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13829444041970151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602195573265725,0.0,0.0,0.17434661818848946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15885872889266736,0.4051515928187504,0.0,0.0,0.14599715332277932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339051388358018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,infrontofapple,2019/09/11,"Terrified of meg adjustment as I’m about to start new part-time jobs. I had two interviews today. One as a hostess (accepted) and one for Starbucks (waiting on). I was on remeron, trileptal and Wellbutrin. Became irritable over little things, but I thought everyone was like this until a friend of mine pointed out it was excessive. Told my doctor and he said I shouldn’t be on two antidepressants. The psychiatrist in the hospital (inpatient) took me off latuda and lamictal, introduced me trileptal and Wellbutrin and kept the remeron. Current psych dr wants me on seroquel for sleep and keeping trileptal, and Wellbutrin. 

I’ve been on zyprexa, geodon, lithium, ambien, klonopin, latuda; can’t remember what else. It’s been two years since I’ve been diagnosed after my first manic episode when I took Prozac for “depression”. 

I am terrified of seroquel bc I may get the morning shift for Starbucks (4:30a) so I have to be up for 3:45, takes twenty minutes to drive there. The hostess job will work with my schedule but I’ll probably get off at 9/10pm. I can not afford to be groggy, especially during training nor all over the place with racing thoughts and compulsive impulsiveness. 

What the hell do I do? I live alone and I can’t be depressed cuz no one will be able to find me and I can’t take off work to be inpatient again. It’s 50mg seroquel that I’m supposed to start and I’m like 98 lbs.",4.3110394802598675,6.643207003831417,4.749828419123774,81.22040479760122,72.83141762452108,8.064034649341997,31.6543394969182,8.841846274778883,2.8805940696318504,1112,53,198,23,23,352,154,261,0.11900000000000001,0.84,0.040999999999999995,-0.97,4,1,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,3,5,7,1,0,9,0,25,5,1,1,1,32,44,21,0,2,3,0,0,2,1,4,4,1,0,0,8,15,0,3,6,0,0,3,7,3,0,7,14,1,21,4,36,20,1,32,1,2,0,0,5,17,1,1,14,129,29,7,0.13113527305258235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358165945533699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258932370515825,0.13309954177255887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342225086466177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10954669372472207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12530537308041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11985526385428,0.11154359626804126,0.0,0.0,0.10131478666531557,0.0,0.13702553552235416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26026304800022443,0.116559055990974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12813214102999013,0.13143199407102468,0.11579484861500533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665126386979236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665819644839141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14200672167687614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700844961983674,0.0,0.12396521970079427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413860038333084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485507010748651,0.0,0.1247396743483734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084764529836168,0.0,0.13122997737847894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856364424323281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19719481069889525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712044848277695,0.0,0.0,0.2082135177032156,0.0,0.0,0.12430090560883425,0.12530537308041,0.2913922269077299,0.0,0.0,0.3843003212158364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773469816441822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19093608119168826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444681640705101
bipolarreddit,pamperwithrachel,2019/09/11,"Fiance pushing for kids I'm not sure I want I am engaged to a fantastic man who is is kind a patient and everything someone who has Bipolar I could ask for. However he wants kids and I don't. I gave it a try and I tried to give that to him,  to conceive naturally but I cannot. He wants to now go the road of fertility treatments and I'm terrified of what that could do to me with the hormonal fluctuations which can drive women without BD nuts. 
I have tried to explain to him that children are not important enough to me to go through that even for him. He keeps putting it off to one of my low moods but it isn't, I just don't want them. I feel my BD would make me a poor choice for a mother having grown up with one who had BD II and remembering how awful it was sometimes. Even now for all our progress (I'm 35) we still can't really relate to each other. He keeps thinking he could make up for my shortcomings. I love him but im having doubts if we should get married because this seems to be something we can't come together on. Can anyone relate and offer advice?",2.475749007936507,3.8973372991071433,4.066011904761904,88.07621031746035,75.5625,7.29920634920635,25.83730158730159,7.984000788550335,1.379684325396826,841,30,184,13,18,281,125,224,0.11,0.809,0.081,-0.6828,1,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,4,0,1,1,8,7,0,1,7,1,25,2,0,3,2,43,48,11,0,10,8,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,15,13,0,2,5,0,1,7,9,2,0,2,3,1,26,4,30,39,3,16,0,1,0,1,29,6,0,3,3,127,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14684710877142498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507585849428057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404869522447918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160631880184844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294487102517678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3599473677468824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15527437079966808,0.0,0.19851059994501008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13505758872831966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759836163099582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851254821147499,0.1441575890343073,0.1708096284198222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16232291774291047,0.0,0.0,0.2671428640826561,0.0,0.15648841329548693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356291636032262,0.0,0.2006196200031249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20366062193265205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510680026138346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962700903625178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702324174180812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368048259858423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273276221445651,0.11568912972629923,0.14862593693997178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12000990554385435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14163252286751934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962902295288535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060808280000317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3545446388339921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14485985381631325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067511341721637,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,progress_paulatim,2019/09/11,"Please help I was recently diagnosed bipolar after 12 years of being told it was just anxiety and depression.

I've only had one manic episode my whole life, and it happened after doing TMS therapy. The doctor said it's enough to qualify as bipolar, but right now I'm currently in the lowest state, feeling suicidal and incredibly anxious almost all the time.

I'm lamictal 100mg and supposed to be starting on latuda soon. Was on prozac/zyprexa 20mg/5mg for 7 weeks and I'm not any better, so the doc told me to stop them.

I'm feeling incredibly hopeless right now, and I could use some uplifting stories. Right now, I can't even **imagine** what it'd be like to feel better. If betterment means just less shitty, I don't see the point in continuing to live.

Also, did any of you have massive anxiety and social anxiety? I can't seem to think straight or talk clearly at all. I'm really scared the chronic stress has permanently impaired my cognitive function or something. Did you guys find relief in anxiety from lamictal, latuda, or anything else?

Would anyone be willing to chat, please?

Thank you, much love",3.8780769230769216,6.456706038461545,4.974653846153849,77.92034615384615,75.15384615384616,8.198461538461537,30.592307692307692,8.982922981607832,3.0782550000000004,888,42,150,21,20,291,137,208,0.201,0.6659999999999999,0.133,-0.9558,2,0,1,0,0,1,31.0,0,3,1,3,9,11,0,2,6,0,20,7,0,1,3,32,40,15,1,3,8,0,3,1,0,2,6,1,0,1,5,7,0,1,8,1,0,0,4,4,0,1,9,5,12,7,20,23,7,26,0,2,1,1,13,11,0,7,15,92,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836133010426628,0.0,0.0,0.0945253790157967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16076160606449694,0.0,0.3616940797242093,0.1335336012914597,0.0,0.08264895922549086,0.0,0.0972694360237804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.313617809122255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943739622863487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180643643686807,0.11997163098911247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12098383708414022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09874185395827764,0.0,0.0,0.12213333609531295,0.0,0.07807071346257857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792980870067953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803366635025456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11703767508953945,0.10452484463248356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922770747654923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08348893436306731,0.057747088144612164,0.0,0.10437373910887268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066811099434474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287556525331413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689141077794055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009612616615487,0.08989726484583242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594986309813813,0.1117382478960132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07572265301490869,0.0,0.11670932889499183,0.0,0.0,0.30282928725020675,0.1124363163187876,0.0,0.11833992401593725,0.0,0.09419097519541687,0.10760584445160347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12049113864847025,0.0,0.09099698353739244,0.0,0.0,0.08366334877275483,0.0,0.0,0.09882141443877744,0.13539896362757878,0.0,0.0,0.12929282139009607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095005568863005,0.0,0.10882369442225052,0.13517326211052288,0.0,0.0,0.07573849377187386,0.0,0.0,0.0689240134533364,0.0,0.0,0.22589243779433346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208780143534384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09481379469649263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319673098083256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08396667190637612,0.0,0.0,0.07611763467604069
bipolarreddit,scottynoma,2019/09/11,Just sharing some books and ideas that helped me a lot. Hello fellow bipolar people! I just wanted to share some books and ideas that helped me a lot recently. Ego is the enemy and the obstacle is the way by Ryan Holiday. Total mental paradigm shifts that have really helped my quality of life. Especially ego is the enemy because i feel a lot of mania can be negative due to ego and if you get that under control it is far more manageable and productive even! If anyone has read this books or read a summary and would like to discuss... please comment!,4.8247857142857145,6.528304085714289,6.048750000000003,75.07312500000002,70.04761904761905,10.202380952380953,28.36309523809524,10.411451182825502,3.2935952380952385,439,16,77,13,8,147,69,105,0.121,0.772,0.107,-0.5538,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,8,0,9,2,0,1,1,23,12,9,0,4,5,0,1,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,6,6,0,1,3,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,6,3,7,10,7,5,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,8,3,56,12,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12975733722152025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113123910389374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081365099676293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256957605782028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383156003791787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695451781582874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3731581057763103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4189798876485093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13107608265044735,0.09066186023586666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4733039744748169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18701448564715856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12865332997434706,0.0,0.0,0.20370402533991466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3712475269802664,0.0,0.11888316458718624,0.0,0.1832314875860414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094560846813555,0.14729964200840556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318261217567037,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lenem73,2019/09/11,Don't know what do you with myself... I'm currently on medical leave from work. I have no hobbies. I just sit here all day. I'm lonely even though my fiance works from home. It makes me more depressed/anxious. I try to clean the house to stay busy. Nothing else interests me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!,1.1077413479052822,3.738827606557378,2.528743169398908,89.00473588342443,92.60655737704916,5.334061930783244,21.531876138433514,6.937597516519254,0.8675887067395265,248,9,48,4,9,80,52,61,0.127,0.7709999999999999,0.10099999999999999,0.237,1,2,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,2,4,3,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,1,1,6,9,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,8,2,6,7,2,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,29,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481123934895352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726636656196868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16374730159088502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21210450519734111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677014293896135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799304436442001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546867664264206,0.0,0.0,0.2929715315231225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13953919128950604,0.0,0.0,0.2688480471083653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16948312607712135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557819218192356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436280728886825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706282554125738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494597359870313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723843877978669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3696907834320412,0.0,0.0,0.18036636627558866,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SchwarzerKaffee,2019/09/11,"New private sub for people who experience powerful visions during mania I just started the sub /r/BipolarVisions for people who experience powerful visions during mania but think they are more than just delusions. It is a private sub catering to a small group of people to discuss their visions openly and get feedback from other people who experience the same.

The community is designed to support each other in times of crisis, or to discuss past visions and see what we have in common and try to make sense out of this in a setting where we aren't judged by people who have never experienced it.

If you'd like to join, just reply to this post or make a request.",11.471463414634151,8.714833707317077,10.888552845528457,60.81234146341466,57.455284552845534,12.441626016260164,44.11219512195122,10.355215969177356,4.820802926829268,538,24,83,8,5,176,75,123,0.043,0.7979999999999999,0.16,0.8847,2,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,2,1,2,2,4,2,0,0,7,0,7,0,0,2,1,20,14,7,0,1,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,11,8,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,6,2,19,13,3,15,0,0,1,0,13,7,0,3,7,64,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5365582152439557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09552642521803437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932645540459255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24409442266322975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410175855151478,0.17658814381869015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17454159971252314,0.6337916469344318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17511030971772296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456999169246163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294151901552741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20748482089616327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11715657713133575,0.0,0.0,0.10661555433976316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413645119021315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,scottfitzpatrick,2019/09/11,"My depressive cycle has been horrible this time I had a really good summer being manic (bipolar 2, so it was controlled mania). And now fall is coming and I have just fallen flat completely on my mood. Almost two weeks where all I want is to be in my bed and dream. I’ve been doing as much as I can, eating healthy, not skipping classes, sleeping well, doing exercise... The social part has been horrible now down come my depression I get terrible at being social I just want to be quiet, which is weird cause when I just started here I was social and outgoing. So this has caused me to have anxiety and terrible social phobia now. Thankfully tomorrow I have a Dr appointment and I’ll see if some medicine tweak can be made.",2.551606714628296,5.160244352517985,4.238388489208634,81.18041247002401,80.29496402877697,7.735443645083933,24.374580335731416,8.648137234880735,2.2067607673860907,571,21,101,14,15,191,91,139,0.182,0.703,0.115,-0.9083,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,12,9,0,0,3,0,24,5,1,4,1,22,33,12,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,4,8,1,1,0,2,0,4,1,5,1,1,7,2,14,3,9,21,4,18,0,2,1,0,4,5,0,3,9,79,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528958518789885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680657101078495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137070682507088,0.0,0.2630558906483135,0.16009137981198915,0.0,0.17125355607127152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26302140761795945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562388373607287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977363488855678,0.0,0.0,0.1280681835969339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14447790484778228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11224389131278846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16534717158502066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781640278165653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167326422514445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15279914450860138,0.622588315670276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807397120656556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14057540117749134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890341105712776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14915484375648058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18011970834175758,0.0,0.12247780501646492,0.0,0.13728563530881693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,queenkawaiibb,2019/09/11,"I’ve never been hospitalized and I wish I did I’ve put off seeking mental help for years. This is ridiculous. The only diagnosis I got was social anxiety when I was 19 by my family doctor and that even took months of coming clean and getting strength talking about and I take paxil which is only great for a little bit of energy. Should’ve saw a psychologist then. My mental health is worse and I have other chronic illnesses that affect me physically that I even struggle to get proper help for those too. It’s all so much. Piling up and piling up. I rely on my mania to feel pure energy because I’m constantly tired and fatigued but things just get worse when I come down. I’m losing all my independence from my health and can’t survive in life anymore. I have no future. I’m losing my home. My family doesn’t understand how bad I’m struggling. I blow off doctors appointments because I convince myself I will get better. But I’m only getting worse. I can’t keep track of it all. If I gotten help when I should have, maybe I’d have a life or at least be closer to one. I’m running out of time. Is all these years built up for one final breakdown that will make it all worth it? I physically just can’t lose my temper, I’m so numb because it’s been all I know. Yeah I cried and broke down at my family doctor which was concerning for them but they can’t force me to get further help. I want to be forced. As life progresses I wonder how much more I can take dealing with this alone. I just want to breakdown and finally crumble. I want to be noticed. I want to not have to strategically plan out how I will seek help in a professional enough demeanor to be taken seriously and then chicken out and change my mind after everytime.",2.9663793103448266,4.863842189655177,4.497793103448277,83.47651724137934,75.3793103448276,7.28367816091954,24.243678160919533,8.131152278815165,1.4556119540229882,1374,44,269,23,30,459,175,348,0.179,0.705,0.11699999999999999,-0.9815,0,1,0,0,0,1,27.0,0,0,2,9,15,16,2,2,5,1,29,13,0,6,8,53,62,28,0,7,9,0,1,0,0,4,13,0,2,0,17,18,0,1,4,0,1,5,8,12,0,2,11,2,41,4,40,43,12,38,0,5,1,0,10,18,0,3,15,181,58,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08789237410814278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06491988845045978,0.0,0.08416119635002865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085697920870919,0.15519491384510053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505434131819852,0.09264831068468804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977369886534728,0.1462037531736811,0.0,0.09170664995318588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321791399786593,0.0,0.08748992658842865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605823312496516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768606399569473,0.0,0.11210229402931908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400035767916637,0.0,0.0429092335590617,0.0,0.0,0.185926324156248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2660241851175292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787261583532841,0.09356165005682236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18041059486208988,0.0,0.0,0.2844090749555593,0.0,0.08512441092252072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543004732624889,0.0,0.0,0.04663843208577454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17982353407047946,0.0,0.08505492300596842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848196438180437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056646646667408575,0.0,0.08525619232814223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17104369234229747,0.0,0.08568734025051188,0.0,0.06773675946791756,0.0,0.12476799618745678,0.0,0.0654515023605329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09661697743695223,0.0,0.0,0.11501059856961075,0.1936261852085466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853106567212494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650704248509714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774342636780879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12761268334791756,0.06820958681393573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05637914185448423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049484241139478,0.09753742306415862,0.0,0.0,0.09428580765038612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834527478616201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002173554464943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758815024098123,0.0,0.09203019820290192,0.0,0.0,0.25944764433488826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929785427617343
bipolarreddit,butterball98,2019/09/11,"Everything is coming together and I’m realizing I’m likely bipolar. I’m about to lose my shit I’m pretty sure I’m in a sort of manic episode right now? I’m currently going through a cycle of not sleeping more than 2-4 hours a night. You know that Thanos “it’s all coming together” meme? Well I feel like I’m just now connecting the dots of all my symptoms from the past 7 years. I’m so fucking scared I’m bipolar. My mom is bipolar so I’m familiar with what it looks like and I’ve always hoped I wouldn’t end up like her...
I’m going to my psychiatrist Thursday anyways for an appointment and hopefully she convinced me otherwise. Anyways I don’t know why I’m posting here, just need to get feelings out. Maybe advice about moving forward with this would be helpful idk.",1.92625,4.216469152866246,3.7196775477707007,85.87149084394906,80.40127388535029,6.727547770700637,27.00995222929936,7.865858978985527,1.831700955414012,615,27,121,11,16,206,100,157,0.071,0.7609999999999999,0.168,0.92,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,1,12,13,2,1,6,0,6,7,2,0,3,25,32,5,0,5,3,1,2,4,0,2,4,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,5,0,0,6,3,4,1,0,0,3,11,9,17,29,3,20,0,1,1,1,5,5,2,3,14,62,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15726164500607875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13390896072129152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772586711229767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14253867112849405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446360010194696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16274489289420674,0.11497040650039506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487797571018551,0.08408073259770049,0.0,0.18292360927575405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786984665683473,0.0,0.0,0.3196851154099504,0.15848636577692465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17688888859097784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3144944990302448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351429989091433,0.18004261003455085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16167860316024252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884825208507096,0.0,0.17104607085158932,0.0,0.11932961337083944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510245073006283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15362854350623126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15412911236729454,0.1637264883875071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13743571039019514,0.0,0.0,0.16112178256273607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651951807054338,0.0,0.0,0.1610489985636599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15167723572397188,0.16727077311596522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14469789182894405,0.0,0.14521679779973798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143220258582704,0.0,0.0,0.10363543060760408
bipolarreddit,boguia,2019/09/11,"Not depressed but old passions have died (or at least retired) I used to love to skateboard. At one point I wanted to go pro. That was a naive dream, but even when I realized it would never come true I still loved skating. But I haven’t skated in months and getting myself out of my apartment to take the bus to the park and spend an hour or two getting sweaty is the last thing I wanna do now. 

I assume this is because of the meds. Lithium and some Wellbutrin. I feel fine—not depressed, not hypo; unemployed, poor, but fine. And not overly excited or passionate about a whole lot. 

My psych always tells me I need to exercise and skateboarding has always been my go-to in that department.  Now that I don’t want to, I can’t get myself to exercise at all. 

Any advice on how to get back into old hobbies?",3.1811586538461536,4.836895606250003,4.107500000000004,87.53519230769234,74.1875,6.9230769230769225,25.43269230769231,7.61054688173877,1.277533653846154,627,21,126,8,13,202,102,160,0.07400000000000001,0.727,0.198,0.9714,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,8,9,0,0,7,0,11,6,0,2,3,33,25,14,1,5,10,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,3,3,2,3,7,2,0,2,2,1,17,7,22,22,5,25,0,2,0,4,3,11,0,6,11,93,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586737299121578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702227140697485,0.0,0.0,0.11042248820729247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248585233482058,0.0,0.09898401411795443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398741170991518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797115630299539,0.0,0.1685225447239728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724902105292324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210310650979215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33934284369232426,0.0,0.18456611827795746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599094477046526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323595984971894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13804781892187232,0.29310465086906645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18036515653748228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296084296068284,0.0,0.0,0.12040109870270592,0.12523578782026265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3407764219146609,0.0,0.11003141562897427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153499528434058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12967513966304647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208791516274713,0.0,0.14192537490128546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787661080541144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861953921717595,0.0,0.0,0.14024230444152286,0.0,0.0,0.1915492948237584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812890411807861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11534854702394053,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Bobi-n-Tobi,2019/09/11,Not enough meds for my dose tomorrow (Lamictal) I have 2 doses (25 mg pills and 100mg) currently taking 37.5 twice a day (1 and a half 25mg pills) I only have 1 25 mg for tomorrow... Would it be bad to try and break open an 100 mg into as close to 37.5 as I can get? Otherwise i'll probably have to raise my dose to 50 mg which I don't want to do.,0.7738396624472585,1.4523261518987347,3.73487341772152,91.73665611814349,78.62025316455697,8.30464135021097,20.761603375527425,8.841846274778883,0.9250742616033758,262,6,69,6,6,95,49,79,0.068,0.932,0.0,-0.575,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,8,5,0,0,0,9,11,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,6,0,10,9,1,8,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,36,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30888033076733845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23857751581103945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3822418165880147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19327580526491134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4109144662336923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28135229020640473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3988525735717707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27814513321623197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511616289603107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21819728863093293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26279125936014397,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HugeMacaron,2019/09/11,Help I’m manic and hyper sexual in a work meeting OMG my team has been in meetings all day and I can’t stop obsessing about how I need to have sex with this woman from another office.  Being around her is driving  me insane.  I’ve come very close to being completely inappropriate around her;  I know it’s just the mania.  We’re meeting again tomorrow - any suggestions?  I’ve got to nip this in the bud.  Thanks in advance for the help.,1.6004651162790715,4.141477883720935,3.5430697674418603,84.97809302325581,84.11627906976744,6.695813953488373,21.390697674418604,7.908726449838941,1.2873386046511637,342,11,66,7,10,115,66,86,0.085,0.818,0.09699999999999999,0.25,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,3,6,2,0,1,4,0,7,1,0,1,1,13,13,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,7,0,1,1,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,2,0,7,1,13,9,1,14,0,0,0,1,11,7,0,0,4,40,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18835315783766907,0.290433455028855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4931346720873884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385902734407068,0.29040403536074505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786265873097726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215229858299175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3713023092207771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522187498288368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053741725617251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23156431348491455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550022607234837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22853418291687466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20164180527790046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Moogle_Mania,2019/09/11,"Bipolar 1 Re-diagnosed to Bipolar 2? My one and only episode occurred about four years ago and seemed to begin with me getting super excited about a new story I was writing. So excited in fact that I eventually stopped sleeping, which was then followed by psychosis that landed me in the ICU for a few days and subsequently inpatient for a little less than a week. After being released from inpatient, I was diagnosed Bipolar 1 with psychotic features in my discharge paperwork and went on my way to my current doc’s practice.

Now, almost 4 years later, my doc who I see once every 6 months for bloodwork and a Lithium refill, offhandedly asked which Bipolar type I was and I said 1. (This is my second session with him, previously I saw his APRN who is no longer with the practice). He told me I’d been diagnosed Bipolar 2 some years ago by his previous APRN. I told him up until right now I'd been diagnosed Bipolar 1 and a Bipolar 2 diagnosis is news to me. He said it looks like I’ve been “promoted” to Bipolar 2 and when I asked him to clarify which one I was, and he said I'm Bipolar 2 and that it really doesn't matter anyway since the treatment is the same. 

Since I’ve got the initial treating docs at inpatient saying one thing, and my current doc saying another, I’m in the process of looking for a third opinion who could possibly shed some light on this ambiguity. So, I’m applying at the university residency program where I live, as they are taking new patients and I think fresh eyes on my file couldn't hurt.

In the meantime, I'm curious: is being re-diagnosed from Bipolar 1 to Bipolar 2 like this common thing? I'm absolutely no doctor, but while  they seem like similar, they still appear to be two totally different diagnoses and hard to interchange without any new episodes/new symptoms/change in symptoms, etc.",7.953107936507938,7.221742488571433,8.445904761904764,69.14231746031747,62.68571428571429,11.663492063492065,40.873015873015866,10.980518767755715,4.652682539682539,1461,75,255,34,18,488,183,350,0.023,0.9129999999999999,0.063,0.8915,4,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,3,2,10,8,0,0,15,0,20,19,2,0,2,37,46,21,0,2,2,0,1,3,0,0,17,5,0,0,16,17,0,1,3,0,0,3,5,1,0,7,16,12,32,7,41,25,7,45,0,1,5,0,24,16,0,8,28,164,48,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16123202474048562,0.0,0.0910668765830254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06184476520273911,0.09536229198110964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17003997522154893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620626795260817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261106282441339,0.0,0.0,0.058651097109082465,0.0,0.0,0.5538350254999019,0.0,0.09501670351173278,0.0,0.09308462612389247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014261515816092,0.0,0.0,0.07662390364785783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04751427637634868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07273590314566554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146760063048485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973570025581152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13329134467638765,0.09114937689795058,0.08030486316403769,0.0,0.15273943511460875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725903122404072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35133557446693303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685196375114236,0.1848772068527661,0.06916670432526581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025252421750062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05826079759811172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766533575182169,0.2595245626075631,0.1446439986155995,0.0,0.0,0.07247027306806733,0.16558327196313227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15045896803807682,0.0,0.09100927634040612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07262767480876124,0.07603292008064187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452521996382852,0.06837826759670301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12083777090049914,0.05827298543224858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17380101030914166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883868058685042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218679498586476,0.07294946865152355,0.0,0.0,0.08430562643531432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766638310511242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17569408615284626
bipolarreddit,Flying_giraffe1,2019/10/14,"Living and Coping With Bipolar Disorder I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder only but 3 or 4 weeks ago. When i was diagnosed it all made sense, my ALWAYS being tired, and my mood. It all made sense, and its hard. If theres anyone who wants to give me and advice, maybe not medical, just advice on how to cope with it, and how to tell other people maybe. Thank you. Stay strong. ♡",2.4531428571428577,4.565130466666666,3.849904761904764,86.54400000000004,77.66666666666666,6.9523809523809526,20.047619047619047,7.957251820313856,0.8881619047619043,295,7,58,5,7,97,53,75,0.115,0.789,0.096,0.1406,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,5,3,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,4,2,20,8,11,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,6,2,7,3,2,5,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,3,38,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34326291168204337,0.15569252135808934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461449158684883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281019843019113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3565378184029773,0.0,0.0,0.4025928112215733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16848800826580804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573371812649464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509160346338924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33238591247801724,0.0,0.0,0.35290402866716325,0.0,0.0,0.17693684302594667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13358064079097368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176529914359245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872067767954324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535153848628601,0.16170390566492576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018700847715018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359586414878792,0.0,0.14088623800848002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hellpixie,2019/10/14,I opened up on social media about my disorders. I made an Instagram post opening up about my bipolar and borderline personality disorder and encouraging/uplifting words for others who struggle with mental illness. It was scary because of the potential judgement. But a lot of people liked it and seemed to appreciate it. I just hope it doesn't bite me in the butt later on.,6.5704477611940275,8.582157985074627,7.424059701492543,65.70265671641793,66.16417910447761,10.733134328358213,35.78805970149253,10.793553405168565,4.623390447761193,303,15,46,9,5,101,54,67,0.149,0.737,0.115,-0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,4,0,2,3,1,1,0,13,5,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,6,2,12,3,1,9,0,0,0,1,3,7,1,3,2,36,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595065910091678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5997741330400232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598891856427992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278347275213277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224554862590148,0.0,0.24759070074589695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26369352838171706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814033303441505,0.2284729714938216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505996530092867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23820705505921724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26673123048713954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27354570288071745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,anoconmalundousrum,2019/10/14,Microdosing and Bipolar Anyone have any experience with it? It benefitted me in the beginning but unsure if it triggered mania.,7.370000000000001,10.780614809523811,9.29547619047619,47.12035714285716,67.57142857142857,11.81904761904762,39.07142857142857,11.20814326018867,6.403457142857144,105,6,12,4,2,37,19,21,0.107,0.8140000000000001,0.079,-0.1655,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,5,2,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,11,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4922850956650899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5061762170081514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7081250044457761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bg8689,2019/10/14,"No racing thoughts in my head today It's been a tough week of telling my head to stop having crazy thoughts none stop. I even hurt my hand from banging it against the sink cos my head was spinning. And last night, I fell asleep soundly from the exhaustion and I woke up to no thoughts in my head. It's all quiet inside today.
I'm bracing for what's coming next.
It's so exhausting. I keep telling myself I'll be ready to face it but I'm so tired of this.",0.9343750000000028,3.0441320208333345,1.9206666666666656,98.39100000000002,82.95833333333334,4.673333333333334,22.1,5.6839178017228535,-0.038629999999999935,358,12,82,2,10,112,61,96,0.191,0.7490000000000001,0.06,-0.8623,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,4,10,7,1,1,12,12,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,7,3,0,3,3,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,6,3,10,0,12,5,2,13,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,8,46,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667142759405326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479334647007814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6513231918444747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698486701963998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14102418067638547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293289684864526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687365695957797,0.14889153822215567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652935079659498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27735143573174376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3778746381849282,0.0,0.1823561784790543,0.3007820065422632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12726737590959686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,spksusan,2019/10/14,Abilify 15mg Anyone have experience on abilify for bp1 love it hate it?,0.4161904761904758,2.218447285714287,4.772857142857145,69.15547619047621,111.85714285714286,10.438095238095238,26.095238095238088,8.841846274778883,4.495266666666668,58,3,10,3,3,22,12,14,0.196,0.5820000000000001,0.222,0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3887516375671831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5438516189237139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5489116072181154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5017904227305601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,catalinalouise88,2019/10/14,"What were your first symptoms and signs of bipolar? Is this normal? I don't beleive I have bipolar.
I have been diagnosed with Bipolar, dissociative identity disorder, c-ptsd. These were diagnosed over the last 10 years, I have seen psychiatrists etc. Recently diagnosed with ocd. Anyway what I want to know is what were the signs, I see so many things I have done and look back on and think that wasn't me I don't remember doing it or I just didn't do it. Anyway I'm extra paranoid at the moment I don't know why. Do you think you really have bipolar or do you think it's a form of control used by higher up people to drug us all up. I know I sound ridiculous but honestly it just doesn't make sense. I'm stressed out and I can't sleep and I read about schizophrenia today and it made my nerves bad because I don't want to have that but I was reading on reddit and people were saying about hearing there name, songs have meanings to me, if something happens I see it as a sign. When I listen to music I say in my head ok the next song is about me and (whoever) then I analyse the lyrics and realise I'm right and I think I'm psychic. If I have bipolar is this normal or am I heading towards being a skitzo because I can't deal with this. Sorry for the long post :)",1.3590804597701125,3.5539668237547914,3.0091187739463616,90.706091954023,81.91187739463601,5.859003831417624,23.07662835249042,7.093109894594671,0.8258260536398471,995,35,209,13,27,328,137,261,0.069,0.8740000000000001,0.055999999999999994,-0.2669,0,0,2,0,0,0,24.0,1,4,0,2,11,5,1,1,9,1,34,13,3,4,1,45,58,21,0,6,9,0,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,0,16,14,0,1,9,4,0,0,9,3,0,1,11,11,34,2,25,46,4,22,0,0,4,0,11,10,0,5,11,149,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918206662703722,0.09683911315719773,0.14140162329904502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13008231538283688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957109935573425,0.0,0.3531541742292522,0.0,0.0,0.13292403073764236,0.0,0.0,0.11868861342330884,0.0,0.0,0.1345008921972791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12934923635327394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865319871627758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10256142747606596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23805949714976424,0.0,0.13071877689519468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19122002317903544,0.09453982167468797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263934735730272,0.09739465110834104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109743825561433,0.07741807635410355,0.1175863147607418,0.0,0.12633707867103056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334688342662085,0.0,0.22727309366521845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16081294961059936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110775345065643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13557533420396858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320243473730584,0.0,0.07430026241885776,0.0,0.11451703576629008,0.0,0.13138362329079634,0.09904695893480313,0.0,0.18446515491576904,0.0,0.0,0.18484334332896946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11606454757601327,0.0,0.0,0.08928767663253391,0.0,0.12983099627407452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13285560038143113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205484466065796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705248175582731,0.2972632224785521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10993622540351076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13951060719107755,0.1001701622223522,0.0,0.0,0.13681694701525468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465462118599693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468782465953845
bipolarreddit,surviveandadvance01,2019/10/14,"Has anyone been hiding their diagnosis from close family members?  Long story short, my wife and I have been married for two years. We have not told her parents about me having bipolar disorder for the years that we have been together.

One of my wife's parents has a sibling that has bipolar disorder and they treat her like a pariah and blame her shortcomings on her illness. They are not sympathetic about mental illness and are judgmental which is why we never disclosed it to them.

I am worried that it will come up at some point no matter how well I try to hide it. I am worried that they will feel betrayed and very resentful towards my wife and I for never disclosing it.

My wife has told me to straight up lie to them in order to keep it a secret, which makes me uncomfortable but I am willing to do it for her sake if that will keep disclosing it from damaging her relationship with her parents which is what she is worried about.

I have been working hard to maintain stability, and have not had an episode in the years that my wife and I have been together.

Has anyone been in this type of situation? I could use some help.",7.967256046705586,7.034817660550457,7.7822101751459565,74.56633444537115,62.761467889908246,11.0465387823186,36.790658882402,10.230975488527342,3.598875229357798,902,37,170,17,11,289,111,218,0.151,0.8,0.049,-0.9532,3,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,3,0,6,1,5,5,1,0,6,0,33,4,0,3,2,32,41,11,0,2,5,8,2,1,0,4,4,0,0,0,18,14,0,2,2,0,0,1,6,2,1,2,9,2,34,3,27,27,2,20,0,1,0,0,30,12,0,3,7,140,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18765686152812147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559238745611652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713941069912074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30758562559675506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126501934627261,0.0,0.06785025203986256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020745025765955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994440505024408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385476177485311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06555822012253144,0.0,0.0,0.11875350037364715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895725449932916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13523147202430905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20699045698111632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093028997433092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4470047370912337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12685246801238548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14406932287189594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508346400970815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564476692547804,0.0,0.09110587401567784,0.0,0.13108366019072204,0.0,0.0,0.11589665857373598,0.0,0.11072040547897416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065249183103685,0.0,0.12108516778512955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769156699854452,0.4088279064955057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592409492649314
bipolarreddit,looloothing,2019/10/14,"I can't go to work today I can't go to work today but I have no choice. I work for my dad. if I didn't I would stay home. I need the money. He has my daughter. The amount of stuff weighing down on me is too much. I've already had a full blown anxiety attack this morning. My dad is aware. It doesn't matter. I'm supposed to be there in 20 min and I'm not out of bed. I don't know what to do. My family already does so much for me, it feels like they're tired of it. I can't get up. I need to run. I can't fun. Oh my god I'm losing it. I'm posting this online. I never post stuff online, but I don't have anything else right now. I have to go to work, I can't. I'm gonna freak out again. I've been manic. It's starting to overflow right now. Oh my god. I can't live like this.",-3.1695574534161497,-1.6091246793478255,0.3119875776397514,104.53021739130438,102.8586956521739,3.0633540372670813,12.549689440993788,4.65589566412798,-1.6695723602484476,585,11,162,2,28,208,95,184,0.122,0.79,0.087,-0.7189,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,5,6,6,1,0,3,0,21,2,0,0,1,14,36,5,0,4,4,3,1,2,0,2,1,0,2,0,11,3,1,0,2,0,1,4,13,3,0,0,3,1,24,3,19,30,4,25,0,1,0,0,4,10,0,1,10,94,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3110663288546269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782035700125188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11598337827803228,0.0,0.0,0.16034203976014166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333942300026922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773907886869267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13286771305838704,0.0,0.07126458457362561,0.10068909827895653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363645485473203,0.0,0.2403020111768226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14137646558328995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774581182668566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13771442793384708,0.0,0.12445449835236486,0.0,0.0,0.15767821135873292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072173907311628,0.2090136328820417,0.10870327289866068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699672344421176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24072764760502116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09975957736965856,0.15022557620109034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32269007736684746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16199226503269265,0.2671933516442709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41043024774072107,0.0,0.0,0.100121257699939,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,JiveWithIt,2019/10/14,"Update: Spending time at a Norwegian mental health facility Update to my first post, [I'm going to a mental health center on monday, and I'm a bit worried. Help?](https://old.reddit.com/r/BipolarReddit/comments/d13zew/im_going_to_a_mental_health_center_on_monday_and/).

----

Some people wanted to hear how this experience was, so here I am.

I was there for a total of two weeks. The ward that I was in only had people who came there voluntarily, and it was only for acute, short-time patients. So even though I think I could've been helped greatly by being there for a month or so, I was let go after two weeks.

**So how was it?**

It was pretty nice! The medical personnel were very professional, and I got the impression that they were there to really try and help. The rooms were.. okay. I'm not kidding when I say that prisons in Norway have nicer rooms than this, but y'all probably know how it is, mental health isn't really a priority to anyone.

Here's a video showing my room: https://i.imgur.com/PVTtZv3.mp4

One of the best things about staying here was the food. I wasn't expecting much, but as one of the nurses there said, good food is part of the treatment! Before I got there, I had been living on frozen pizza and mcds', so it was quite an upgrade. Meals four times a day, hot meal once, and it was always made from good ingredients. 

What I liked best about being there was the gym though. It was quite small, but it had some weights, a bench and cycling machines. After two weeks there, I was in the best shape I've been in three years, and I've kept at it! Losing weight and gaining muscles 8-)

**How was the treatment?**

The staff were all quite professional about it, _except_ for the people at the intake-center. I was referred there twice by doctors at the emergency ward at the hospital before they actually believed that I needed help. They said stuff like ""you just need to take responsibility!"", and while that might be true, you all know what we're dealing with can be too much some times. That's why I went.

The treatment consisted of daily talks with your main caretaker, group activities like mindful meditation, simple workouts and group talks. I didn't participate in all of it, only the group talks, as I took care of the workout and meditation on my own.

The staff said that a lot of the patients there have been very starved of social interaction (probably becase depression=isolation), so they were a bit worried that I didn't participate in all of the activities. I had to explain several times that I am an asocial person, and fun fact, one of the psychiatrist suspects that I have asbergers as well. I'm going to be checked for that as well as bipolar 2.

**TLDR**

All in all, I am happy with my experience, and wish I could stay for longer. My stay there really helped with getting back structure in my life, which I haven't had for over a year now. I'm taking better care of myself, and I've learned that I really, really, **really** cannot do this on my own, which I thought previously.

I also learned that I have been in a psychotic state for far longer than I thought when I first went it. I'm also more sober than I've been since I can't remember.

Would recommend doing this to anyone if you have access to good treatment.",3.7640681080770655,6.199820653027828,4.407547592385222,82.55491228070176,74.87561374795419,7.364642375168692,23.976254055761327,8.31658001898498,1.5509000545553735,2573,81,481,47,57,819,264,611,0.038,0.8109999999999999,0.152,0.9973,0,1,0,0,0,0,127.0,0,5,4,11,40,22,0,0,38,1,60,14,0,5,9,67,96,42,0,8,8,0,3,3,0,2,7,5,3,2,36,20,7,1,11,5,2,7,8,1,2,11,47,8,49,21,70,40,23,61,0,1,0,0,31,26,0,7,26,344,85,7,0.0,0.0,0.06199517506285222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101608294438248,0.05286124724263196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884195833369808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04884990734980063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811706117801964,0.07157546873978432,0.20000941187997975,0.05618626980070436,0.13871450709666447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072660292973453,0.12954417259053824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144553184698607,0.0,0.0,0.04097097266037825,0.06549564667153167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502466040712726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041960329189392125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428717514993062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807553131069962,0.15363912525428267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0331912992995246,0.0,0.10831504573356136,0.15985542410536646,0.10161994731885428,0.07004098658070647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06762784024922107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025851838773472,0.07160184083773638,0.0,0.21291086882601346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982779362871509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06496274363915408,0.04487243697631951,0.09311123419301996,0.0,0.05609730278480509,0.0,0.0,0.0710727413011123,0.0,0.054010114674901945,0.0,0.06011271002844652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06399882028015208,0.1920669786090596,0.06739426789490671,0.0641462163715325,0.0,0.050708270515019714,0.0,0.0934023025605038,0.09421195059369417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666303665590713,0.06765635008620348,0.12914675702321696,0.14495008405290838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879575524012528,0.0,0.13212910374647566,0.05547110389594558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06084325553905606,0.06463186881745259,0.13699009172577173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20271284951734705,0.0,0.0,0.24418996368895804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196601365919401,0.0,0.1812919840103812,0.050520839377869116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07176972797514412,0.0,0.05255187515530865,0.0,0.0,0.06475985190679608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20314049903558773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07272554714916117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553185772665504,0.15318669834731208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04220586870436168,0.040706841144725295,0.12483391083323678,0.10086991680710286,0.14817716735443115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07058309664676787,0.043132045358453684,0.0,0.18617591142779905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483621616765773,0.03747107147409134,0.0,0.1528774822482148,0.15472250230285187,0.11424046597415267,0.11778410587523147,0.05732507377345888,0.0,0.07305525626486242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290336398706949,0.0,0.04512920451044712,0.0,0.0,0.0818212327380738
bipolarreddit,sourceInfinite,2019/10/14,Just watched 'The Drummer and the Keeper' film I am interested to hear your thoughts on the film. Whether you enjoyed it. Whether you thought it was a good depiction of bipolar. Is there anything you would have liked it to expand on?,3.1339534883720934,6.0558479767441895,2.582604651162793,91.86413953488373,80.86046511627906,5.300465116279073,34.181395348837206,6.742157984588678,2.1191990697674417,185,11,35,2,5,54,33,43,0.0,0.72,0.28,0.9186,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,4,0,0,2,4,0,0,4,0,5,1,0,0,0,7,8,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,5,4,5,4,0,2,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,1,27,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3383493785100809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34486122709307393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4634068346122976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20087184816944528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6528297081232288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920760355610219,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pinkwhale76,2019/10/14,"hi :) looking for some help/reassurance/perspective. All comments hugely appreciated. I’ll try and sum it up - a few months ago my boss wanted my medical records (he knew of my bipolar diagnoses from the year before but I never wanted to discuss it and said I didn’t want anyone else to know - especially those I work closest with - he appeared supportive and said he would keep it completely private) anyways he assured me that if I allowed him access to my records it would remain completely confidential..then the following week we had a meeting where he was annoyed at me (I’d stuck up for myself in an email which is really rare for me, maybe the first time ever - said that some tasks were late because I’d been covering for a colleague who had holiday, study leave, an exam and was sick all in the same month - I genuinely just thought he’d forgotten it was this month she’d been off) so whilst being very angry in the meeting he looped back to wanting my medical records and interrogated me about my mental health in front of my closest work friend who he had invited in to take notes. I was humiliated and felt incredibly betrayed and upset. I left after the meeting and cried in my car. I saw the doctor the next morning (who said it was completely wrong of the company and advised I contact Citizens Advice) and signed me off. I’ve been too anxious and upset to go back since. My partner consulted a lawyer as I wanted to just leave without having to work notice or pay back my study. The company said I had to file a grievance as part of their procedure (I really didn’t want to do) but I did. I mentioned my close work colleagues but tried to have them as little involved as possible and didn’t say anything that could get them into trouble (if I’d been honest about things they’d said it would have really backed up my case) The company decided to question them as part of the grievance and they basically turned on me in the process. I bumped into one recently and she made a nasty comment to me. We used to be really really close and I was hopeful I’d be able to salvage a friendship after all this was all over.

Now I feel like everyone hates me and I don’t have a job. I had a potential job offer to start soon but it’s looking very unlikely now. I feel like I still haven’t recovered from that meeting and the resulting process and my confidence has taken a huge dive and my anxiety is through the roof but I have to find a job ASAP. My partner now seems annoyed that I don’t have anything lined up  work wise and I’m worried that if I don’t find something soon he’ll lose patience and leave me (which has happened before) So, I need to rebuild myself and feel better ASAP so I can pull myself out of this and find a new job and move on. Any ideas??",5.130059232026149,5.965980678308827,5.986053921568626,79.06008986928106,68.50367647058823,9.206209150326798,32.02287581699346,9.372597083632963,2.8559160130718952,2195,92,419,43,36,723,254,544,0.147,0.755,0.098,-0.9835,5,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,2,0,6,8,21,17,3,2,29,0,47,7,0,5,7,88,89,41,0,15,12,0,4,2,3,4,7,7,0,3,24,32,0,1,14,1,1,7,9,8,0,2,34,14,65,9,62,44,10,64,0,1,3,0,50,29,0,10,30,289,89,16,0.06855324454580232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06698943716472143,0.0607683150237659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04661855708206827,0.0,0.05244304443905706,0.07744565343148603,0.0,0.047934022528753284,0.07024090028481117,0.1128269582924158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21085285406588672,0.0,0.0417894215869097,0.0,0.11666752384687258,0.0,0.0,0.060629773880435035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156303178786472,0.0,0.0,0.05473418754154535,0.0,0.07530252012119193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958010017952816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07016715064232258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572674392578092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06201033443899686,0.0,0.06550556294826873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398774071065804,0.09794890320221424,0.06582186534830987,0.0,0.18796927070437025,0.05831135479021825,0.0,0.0,0.0529640666824112,0.0,0.03581624084435644,0.0,0.038960388685519966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060621407751286126,0.0,0.0,0.06768213636692454,0.0,0.07286889325795116,0.0,0.0,0.04594979477867503,0.0,0.0,0.06808883994067275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07738826876260578,0.0,0.0,0.2721140690901841,0.060933273583630626,0.0,0.0,0.03767507038014476,0.0,0.07733104581682072,0.2177639630007058,0.07448330078310064,0.0,0.0,0.06698330505388893,0.06870836061843216,0.0,0.0,0.11513491968529428,0.07669354540591115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486673753734729,0.0,0.0,0.0688709483285918,0.0,0.0,0.13812036342557046,0.06908554660697344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641556372810694,0.07286124989435361,0.0,0.05083136219570485,0.05287248836719414,0.0662091507646412,0.07290715329406372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804832328324147,0.0,0.0,0.046453452676149296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14847296675638216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728348291112455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679532303834644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195848193109563,0.0,0.06768805866393521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.391259004588593,0.0545162915885828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624082991546957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05670795229797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05277563685986094,0.0,0.0,0.04852233933113216,0.0,0.05474670964811376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779340951787432,0.0,0.0,0.05154350834189365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04554372954548228,0.0,0.0,0.05442361869764375,0.03997394818524648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308630618688736,0.07456624450610867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05920799269306951,0.0,0.11312721245370545,0.24260687871861145,0.0,0.0549892777066761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06608288141391701,0.0,0.2495378924727304,0.06961914748994108,0.0,0.14609477410999172,0.07495221124221492,0.0,0.04414604188108669
bipolarreddit,club_96,2019/10/14,"She taught me so much I love that when everything is heightened I'm still practical 

We would make a good sex tape
We are soulmates

This has been the most positive high I've ever had. I feel amazing 

I hope I'm not high (I am high)
I hope I'm not manic (things line up)
I hope I dont panic
This was a good one
This is all about art 
And happiness And Love!

Exhausted 
Eggs gothic 

Ok genuinely I think I'm manic 
I think the zoloft made me manic
I dont know but a lot of things make sense if that were the case
Like a LOT of things recently and maybe even in my past but I'm probs just really reading into it 
I'm definitely just over reacting bc I'm high 

And yet!

I should be Jewish for me 
Which also is not at all new

Cubbies in my mind
The world's all life for her but thoughts of knives for me

So My mind isnt unquiet either 

I think I can write
I think I can run
I think that I'm funny


This Is a poem this is a song

She taught me how to know 
For that I love her
And I love her for so much more 
And I'm so proud of her
She finished a marathon today",-1.2112429378531075,0.7684333559322063,1.378,99.19440112994353,92.5593220338983,5.011073446327683,15.493785310734465,6.588339656340683,-0.5228712994350282,816,18,206,11,30,278,118,236,0.006999999999999999,0.76,0.233,0.9943,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,2,0,0,1,14,16,0,1,11,1,20,9,0,5,4,48,50,17,0,6,10,0,1,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,14,9,1,0,9,4,0,1,6,2,0,1,8,2,35,14,17,39,10,21,1,0,0,5,14,11,0,7,10,134,49,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433868802199583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472035985897377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965728796786617,0.09539728180942468,0.0,0.0,0.09478330479984708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05332523949460419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17691464811716995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11226727801925253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4457096144461133,0.0,0.3142455355544239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159193653367666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07449160491976341,0.05152387329114262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17932166805012725,0.3807377423096944,0.09979159920506324,0.14079468447964694,0.0,0.10595171475245606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21297504343557427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15505481515534866,0.0,0.0,0.10185678034152107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714644285675792,0.0,0.0,0.1237380559130478,0.0,0.0,0.10067632513669647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10549149603823177,0.0,0.06756227031636622,0.0,0.10413194616533916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422285310487586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21019470583778774,0.3378820198337666,0.0,0.08372580694747472,0.0,0.0,0.0999665510789342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491785825025556,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Bekah_Bear,2019/10/14,Latuda withdrawal DAE have experience with coming off latuda? I’ve been having weird RLS-like symptoms. Not just legs but whole body movement stuff. It’s weird. I hate it. It’s impeding restful sleep.,2.765000000000001,5.727312166666671,3.1388888888888893,83.245,94.0,5.7333333333333325,22.66666666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.5407000000000006,162,6,26,3,6,50,30,36,0.218,0.6709999999999999,0.111,-0.631,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,3,4,3,0,0,5,5,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,4,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,15,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37476436820367376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906317169514765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3300322810074878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3331028970000951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16483177217641204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3376337827509228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38623097168636017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35067752283160336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3766840241465824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LittleJohnnyBrook,2018/12/20,"I did laundry today. I didn't shower, but at least I changed into clean clothes. I even managed to hang up two shirts before giving up on the endeavor.

...Small victories. Did you have a small victory today?",1.9138461538461515,4.67918602564103,3.4878974358974415,83.94876923076926,86.17948717948721,6.196923076923077,25.748717948717946,7.554174236665415,1.8978779487179482,161,7,28,3,5,53,31,39,0.0,0.823,0.177,0.7684,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,4,1,1,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,0,5,0,6,2,1,10,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,2,21,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3057047517705899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3800506279919763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23728858108590914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3446360019484314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6810750677664951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3509459109633383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kat_a_klysm,2018/12/20,"Help? I just completely lost it because my dog peed in the house. I started screaming, cursing, and throwing things. I never throw things. Ever. Now I can’t stop crying and I don’t know why I’m this horribly upset. ",0.03500000000000013,2.08292761904762,1.909880952380952,90.72053571428572,106.14285714285714,4.0047619047619065,21.91666666666667,5.985473137389443,0.6723238095238098,168,7,31,2,8,55,34,42,0.365,0.5770000000000001,0.057999999999999996,-0.9245,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,7,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,1,1,6,0,1,5,0,8,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,20,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826024052187596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140716253660755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3290407182249904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27095939084563564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20078150707218095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34563954570948546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16462440031367806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32699332494514755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310308010765768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21202245765184244,0.0,0.0,0.2504365348182673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39801434151664894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702965510573493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,EstroJen,2018/12/20,"Want to find a new career, but not sure what to do or if I want to take the risk Hi, I'm Jen, I've been living with bipolar/depression/cyclothymia (longest diagnosis) since I was 22. I work for a police department in an evidence room, and I've been doing that almost 10 years. I have excellent medical, medications are cheap, my job is solid. This is a background to me. 

My job is pretty boring. It's a lot of inventorying things, which is really important, but there's nothing new or exciting to look forward to at work. I don't get sent to training very often, and requests to be sent to things get rebuffed. I have shown some of the typical ""brain fog"" symptoms and can make minor, although embarrassing mistakes. I tend to stay in my job because I know I can't get fired and I'm ""safe"".

I'm tired of the same old thing every day. Part of me wants to do a new thing, but a big part of me is terrified to leave my safe place behind. Plus, I don't even know what I'd do. I have hobbies, but I cannot see those becoming a career. 

Does anyone else struggle with this? I outwardly have no ""bipolar"" signs. I keep it together, pay bills, date, etc. How do other people like me explore new careers? How do you make decisions on how to change your life?",2.943690476190476,4.413760750000002,4.635904761904765,84.26742857142861,74.43650793650794,7.897142857142858,26.488888888888887,8.548686976883017,1.8200136507936509,967,35,200,18,20,327,149,252,0.141,0.753,0.106,-0.8481,3,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,2,0,3,6,11,0,3,11,0,25,7,1,5,1,39,45,16,0,5,8,0,1,1,0,0,6,0,1,0,14,7,0,3,5,0,3,5,6,5,0,0,5,3,24,6,27,39,6,22,0,0,2,0,6,9,0,7,10,127,38,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117491748043032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07803184522974703,0.11434523477629442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680290429528281,0.12325111080444676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458016207663873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11805577898462365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719714121009911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766007279474116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322572404994303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12446115610968125,0.07370935928263866,0.0,0.0940260424450376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199845722491764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17491588739094646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33223108249487554,0.0991933395693542,0.0,0.0,0.12266257267100032,0.0,0.0,0.11816606077165373,0.0,0.0,0.07882489586881647,0.0545210960524612,0.0,0.09854298871414707,0.0,0.09371412787267187,0.0,0.0,0.0948765423049946,0.0,0.0,0.1489849272940902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22484628356477815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4311277821226362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107081193173187,0.0,0.11710322141572202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416992973161337,0.0,0.07736793115376019,0.0,0.1165960512588882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11353518267865137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149247124001032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892907626864383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09231493464494274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894851095094222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666635374186078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10517969838427202,0.11599294634336912,0.08390773094664022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2965627391647961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282653673127953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09207995352533843,0.197469995351286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16248919808646653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07186538758570746
bipolarreddit,Ifkpbcicn,2018/12/20,"I have to find a new doctor and I'm already full of anxiety I found out yesterday that my psychiatrist is closing his practice, effective immediately, due to health reasons. He's the only psych I've ever had and I'm scared to death to start all over again, not to mention that i can't get in to see anyone else for at least a couple of months. 
I have been doing fairly well - although manic - for several months. I am so afraid this stress will take away all that progress. ",4.024072948328268,5.390188702127663,5.087568389057751,82.50500000000002,71.55319148936171,7.924620060790273,27.258358662613983,8.418075326091056,1.8248316109422489,374,13,74,6,7,123,72,94,0.127,0.789,0.084,-0.6224,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,3,3,0,9,2,0,2,3,12,16,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,3,1,7,1,15,12,4,15,0,0,1,0,3,7,0,0,8,50,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317688670253425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16066928282762868,0.0,0.0,0.14685503301944955,0.21519641345464394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19732630095655426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232389727514806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149704673393072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17544973777446146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899805030158575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19195992046062696,0.0,0.0,0.2302826221432697,0.0,0.0,0.10972989443302884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22324777185282246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33528143145479555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20284437876872646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15973420501611302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159416643613029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21027262305221608,0.0,0.1673634961901717,0.0,0.0,0.23726955076785916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14865745390719004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405840250217529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15791338218999956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888385591386497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,smashit79,2018/12/20,"I’m a mess The only thing keeping me here is my job and I feel like I am completely failing at it. 

Actually, I feel like I’m failing at everything. I’m just trying to stay afloat. I don’t have any friends to talk to because I can’t seem to go out there and make any. 
Therapy isn’t doing what I want it to do. I don’t have a psych appointment until March. 

It’s been a month y’all. 
",-0.4958268733850098,1.2721090813953495,2.543643410852713,93.84541343669252,86.09302325581396,6.14780361757106,21.183462532299746,7.3871296695380915,0.5801307493540051,295,10,73,5,9,105,54,86,0.122,0.759,0.11900000000000001,-0.3151,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,2,3,6,0,0,4,0,11,0,0,1,0,10,21,3,0,1,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,1,2,10,3,9,20,0,8,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,1,5,44,15,4,0.0,0.0,0.2261238955548109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31515314301181396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14125348768919946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24295250883484046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20825370669063187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23432773964502904,0.3310795810817943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17902519003606887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169100156390762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22994492295347105,0.2059621091454421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22641197452647185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15467394277473934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18495554942910555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17623241181705473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109478806261596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246981161250616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862466067848876,0.0,0.0,0.2649903758003013,0.0,0.15394351958889466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15732169656448794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667361441828407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,saarahah,2019/06/23,"I keep blaming myself Trigger warning: sexual assault, suicide

​

About a year and a half ago I first started experiencing the onset of bipolar. In a period of about a little longer than a month I inexplicably lost 30 pounds and after not sleeping for a week I had a break down and ended up in the hospital. When I got out of the hospital all I wanted to do was see my friends. One of my friends was a fellow graduate student, he had been interested in me in the past, but I flatly told him that we were just friends and not to expect anything else. He seemed fine with that and my grad program was really small so I wanted to keep up my friendship with him. He also reminded me of a really close gay male friend, so perhaps I put too much trust in him. Anyway, right after I got out of the hospital I went over to his house one night to work on a project together. I was having trouble sleeping again and he was also a bit of a night owl. I felt bad because I had been keeping my boyfriend up through my hypomanic episodes and wanted to let him sleep, so I figured I would hang out with this person who I thought was a good friend. The guy knew I had been in the hospital after my no sleep fueled suicide attempt and seemed supportive. I had a plan for a video project I wanted to work on, but when I got there he started drinking. He kept asking me to drink, but I was on a lot of klonopin/seroquel after getting out of the hospital and told him I didn't want to drink on the meds. He kept pushing and eventually I had a few drinks. I remember him going into a rant about how he couldn't get a girlfriend and how lonely he was. I felt very bad for him, and kept reiterating that while I was not interested I was sure someone somewhere would be. The drinks caught up to me fast, and I remember him rating me and my other grad school friends on an attractiveness scale at some point? He then asked if I could sit close to him, JUST sit close to him and for some reason I felt bad enough for him that I agreed. After I sat close to him he started touching me, first my hair, and then he kissed me. I remember just sort of freezing up, and he went to put his hands down my pants at which point I distinctly said ""no."" The next thing I know he basically tore my pants down. I felt really woozy and freaked out and asked him if he had a condom, hoping that if he did not it would be a way out. He said he did not and kept undressing me. There are a few hours here that I do not remember clearly. At one point he started slapping me pretty hard, which was uncomfortable and awful. 

 After a while I just wanted it all to end so I faked being into it for him to get it over. After he was done I just wanted to leave, but he kept grabbing my arm and pulling me back down on the couch with him. When I finally left I texted one of my advisers that ""another grad student took advantage of me and idk what to do."" I confronted him the next day he blamed me. He said I was breaking his heart, and kept bringing up that I asked him to get a condom and how that was consent (even though he kept going when he did not have one). After talking to my adviser, I went to the campus sexual assault support organization and started a complaint, but I got scared of being interrogated by law enforcement and having to go through embarrassing details. My friends/therapists/teachers who I've told all agree what this person did was sexual assault, but for some reason I blame myself still. I feel like since it was during the onset of my bipolar that maybe I did something that makes it my fault. I keep going over the situation in my head, wondering why I did not just scream at him and leave. Part of me knows that I was too drunk/drugged up to drive myself home and that was a huge reason for not resisting more, but I hate that I feel like I let it all happen. There were other examples of him not respecting boundaries, like when he asked one of our professors out on a date while he had a class with her/she was on his review committee that I feel like I should have seen. I cannot seem to move past this. I am not a very sexual person, even when I am hypomanic so I know that I did not initiate anything at any point. I don't know how to not feel like it was my fault though. My boyfriend of 10+ years does not blame me, but I feel so guilty. My head was foggy about what to do while it was happening, and I am afraid I made the wrong choices. I said no and I NEVER gave him consent at any point. I had already tried to establish boundaries previously which I felt like should be enough. It was only after several hours of being out of it and confused that I pretended to enjoy it in order to leave his house faster. I hate myself for this, and I just want to know if that makes it my fault at all?",5.572731017694974,5.213100528321321,6.242749555285088,81.74982791873421,67.40370751802266,9.451107574197172,30.4248853103642,8.995579910939314,2.2251510195674573,3747,124,791,58,55,1230,336,971,0.14400000000000002,0.755,0.102,-0.9913,0,2,7,0,0,2,89.0,2,0,0,8,44,49,6,4,47,1,75,21,10,11,9,167,165,71,2,21,33,0,16,6,8,5,2,5,2,5,46,53,5,11,29,7,0,17,22,23,0,9,81,24,142,26,128,69,17,137,0,2,2,4,85,61,0,15,59,571,188,18,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04063827490410997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05059041098943756,0.07332346486400107,0.0,0.04967236428547391,0.05570593704822422,0.06235149806582964,0.048071827458000364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07545203361140683,0.0,0.21429152393464326,0.0,0.0,0.035251496789464015,0.11483442184060905,0.02794630724693312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05005018706130778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03660300535067538,0.0,0.0,0.02956583112545937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04011872402750346,0.046914715405005684,0.0,0.22455018595474865,0.05316492372060594,0.0,0.038297095101338656,0.0,0.08120902294875558,0.09473899466101424,0.0,0.06055955844963324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590147464196122,0.13100493088646326,0.2200889606433718,0.050220275118192215,0.0,0.07799040881976807,0.0,0.0,0.21251551579513112,0.0,0.09580718115323966,0.0,0.1042176657459684,0.038452089098668686,0.14666374783495734,0.0,0.0,0.04539314174957233,0.08108006392171441,0.0,0.04106755783199642,0.0905236639423308,0.0940991156279412,0.0,0.0,0.054325808526515,0.0,0.0,0.0459856489413565,0.04553381140037945,0.09029495514126676,0.1057965137919806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16299435794660402,0.0,0.0,0.12597435575934884,0.0,0.0,0.14562773032574855,0.04981005071154882,0.09375796487932377,0.0,0.13438348407560166,0.04594811039158435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05004455398966737,0.038975250667873766,0.0,0.04337905882604324,0.061202956452139065,0.0,0.04605683948928786,0.0,0.050922768955713404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03659254504741216,0.04872531848062258,0.0337008926676458,0.0,0.035358010441626966,0.0,0.09751203194893646,0.08604368612462457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18639202150266526,0.034866715208788715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049644993748098186,0.08752729218258737,0.0,0.12008862740886635,0.0,0.0,0.2166887765718236,0.0,0.0,0.04664021366101501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217252415433877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881072471577141,0.14140696751026913,0.0,0.0,0.2077309732680961,0.0391508482248813,0.17443400650444554,0.0,0.045898219879875066,0.0463969579347567,0.03653203368321313,0.12520499949790878,0.0,0.05179109792737047,0.0,0.037922943129701486,0.05153100154755639,0.18350994458816566,0.0,0.038843792611843515,0.035293241849995875,0.0,0.0,0.1622444331357451,0.0,0.036611379399040994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029261712645428,0.10404731348825433,0.04320778361125577,0.0,0.0,0.03684797439027898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030456967594113926,0.0,0.09008373701597293,0.03639531517446778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13141880306204626,0.050934790664329085,0.03112532328032658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565282593455777,0.216321614910428,0.03638913328544935,0.03677359464958658,0.0,0.0,0.1274945927853707,0.04136742040492571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04971627222670694,0.06675050620925123,0.0,0.0,0.09769959213142196,0.050123630446900144,0.05570593704822422,0.05904455258271781
bipolarreddit,Spicy_Potato11,2019/06/23,"rushing Who else compares every damn happenings with their sweet past. Like seriously loneliness is agitating , but constants thoughts over and over again LIKE a gush of stream floeing in woodwork valley.How am i supposed to know what it is , my childhoodwas better when i used to have friends who dindt judged by my every word. Literally sleep at around 6 am to wake up at 3 pm. Sitting alone at school ..damn i might continue for eternity like thats what my rushing mind is doing..i cant stop it nir i can control it it feels as if i am stopping a train with bare hands..my narcism makes everyone feel envious to me, and severel time later me being low esteemed one allow to them to demoralize me , mentally bully me, then me being narcistic again thrashing them smiling and smirking..this cycle goes on. every negative remark comment feel as if an ice pick slowly being inserted in my heart and i cant even help it. i would laugh cry think smartly and loosely at the same time and i cant even remember what i was talking abiut yeah being lonely while i see other enjoying their loves and faking it so as to gain attention or maybe they are really enjoyong it and dont really know what mental illness it or maybe they have some deeper prpblems but not showcasing it. i want blurt out my racing thoughts oack them and throw in the river i want my nor.al life back .. my best friend back my group back which  now used to sit differently and i left alone in corner suicide will not fix it but i want people to sympathize with me. i  dont want constant judgement but someone to understand me . finding my true self hiding behind this fake confidence in order ti prevent self harm and suicidal thoughts i want to scream so loud my whole neighborhood wake up and rush ti me and say r u ok. i know by the experience up till now no body really cares unless you are a cute innocent looking motherfucker",3.414135753749012,5.897483049723758,4.4486866614048965,81.58948618784531,76.23756906077348,7.562557221783742,27.46992896606157,8.505502328695277,2.2847677032359908,1512,62,271,31,35,491,217,362,0.19699999999999998,0.603,0.2,0.8183,1,4,0,0,0,1,26.0,0,1,7,4,13,26,3,0,7,2,24,8,5,6,1,64,48,31,2,8,11,0,3,3,2,3,2,3,0,2,20,18,0,4,14,0,0,4,9,10,0,1,4,9,43,16,41,37,4,48,0,2,2,1,20,20,2,6,24,179,63,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19636199240012392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438933657366518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186788873375199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948349505615048,0.08384015194189083,0.0,0.1052979823040144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665175452741216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048835372109944,0.10632278089857997,0.0,0.0,0.10412994020096984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904258103169918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222025149009544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919064349746963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12522491303476035,0.0,0.2396114232190017,0.09058249765952353,0.0,0.09272955551204748,0.0,0.0,0.14379647858275932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664264660538504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14647969516992468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382858307903489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123347795531538,0.06354036192745857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15629368656339626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299710612649753,0.0,0.06695785193503602,0.13893892671518676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07960551839817623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555790079671366,0.0,0.06327766495823713,0.0,0.19047244951426556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910659517200124,0.10056452724773413,0.09571784256479099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642368308724731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049436482308884,0.0657202324419806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18218795918456215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073864049213564,0.0,0.0,0.07538629748329208,0.0,0.09593952088157158,0.0755408536336679,0.0,0.1977876763270189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486535833636812,0.0,0.0803211033284512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15850890148454386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207384838648288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619415508729997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060742023963395377,0.0,0.2257744422650934,0.11055366613035733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868691312628927,0.0,0.16374816483236707,0.0,0.0,0.2795683302127565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10583735027668233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734099588019134,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ch3rryp3ps1,2019/06/23,"Does anyone else feel like their full blown manic episode changed them as a person? I used to be a lot less angry and prone to confrontation. I also didn't have fits of rage as often. I wish I could go back to being the way I was before I had my first mental breakdown, but I'm aware of the amount of work it will take me to work on my anger issues. This has been on my mind a lot, esp. in regards to entering the ""professional world"".",3.5958608058608057,4.023219153846156,4.5887362637362665,89.17709706959705,71.74725274725273,7.3853479853479875,22.85897435897436,7.1686216300943375,0.5654820512820504,337,7,76,3,6,110,69,91,0.124,0.835,0.040999999999999995,-0.8128,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,3,3,4,3,0,6,0,10,0,0,1,0,10,16,5,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,3,0,1,4,1,12,1,13,8,5,11,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,3,3,53,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748137893451948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15284972034050273,0.2239808261148612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16808937617135689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18601191233342146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23124908489926305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745337615630196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19129772942263812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826116735753228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11053037938366543,0.15616739084578987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18594046153782104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423502557847822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228160885907594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10679658105918403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37169063259993135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22029668951969147,0.0,0.22072298758797512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908724858501512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643594762092195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18879961763337505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17351395743274312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25137841846182035,0.0,0.0,0.3182858025815453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gringowey,2019/06/23,Switching cycles When you go from highs to lows or opposite do you switch mid day sometimes or just from when you wake up?,1.8024999999999984,4.510177583333338,1.788333333333334,96.49000000000002,85.66666666666666,4.866666666666667,20.5,6.42735559955562,0.1651000000000007,98,3,20,1,3,29,19,24,0.073,0.927,0.0,-0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,3,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,2,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,4,2,0,8,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,2,3,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3831341732314793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3376308705162088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.627680955495665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5875629486997517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,2much2remember,2019/06/23,"Music and repeating things in your head So yesterday someone mentioned how they will repeat songs over and over and over in their head. It can go on for along time. Sometimes is words and phrases that just get stuck on repeat you hear, talking to yourself in your head...I'm sure some of you know what I mean. At one point do you know this is not just you inner monologue going and this may be auditory hallucinations? How do you know the difference. I've been told it's normal to have like songs stuck, but mine seems a little excessive.",4.579150485436891,6.333933747572818,4.55358009708738,85.34745752427186,70.74757281553399,7.480097087378643,25.496359223300967,8.07648339933343,1.4068262135922325,428,13,83,6,8,132,74,103,0.03,0.9359999999999999,0.034,0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,7,2,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,10,2,2,2,1,22,22,9,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,3,0,0,7,6,0,0,5,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,4,3,11,2,14,15,1,19,0,0,0,0,13,12,0,3,6,58,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024968817599983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126106726177136,0.0,0.22030064832171428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.596734613972219,0.0,0.21844516406866055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195492669736953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946889008809304,0.19425494585720574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21112287410993252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18989891664108646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313350057149357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18321914090522984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764431673848362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16422000309471288,0.0,0.19168937119178409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826696591978162,0.0,0.0,0.15578227720638446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876300114515468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11301589894637475,0.0,0.0,0.1851998718835404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bluestofthemall,2019/06/23,Geodon withdrawal lasts? I have been on this shit for 3 weeks 2 weeks was 40 and a full 10 days of 20mg last dose was Friday hallucinating (not schizo) it’s like I’m on fucking acid but a horrible trip. Anxiety and ocd thru the roof. Can’t sleep only for an hour. I just want to cry...,-0.6306147540983602,1.524916983606559,1.6985040983606583,96.46611680327871,92.27868852459015,5.67295081967213,15.821721311475413,7.1686216300943375,-0.16288688524590136,220,5,54,4,8,74,53,61,0.166,0.762,0.07200000000000001,-0.8211,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,4,0,5,4,2,0,0,6,8,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,1,2,1,7,5,1,10,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,7,26,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.216513891560438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31089044982302705,0.1825281672035307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616527059662835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27872331069814243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4614074530974712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13827206450276602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21525380417895465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29052182155785355,0.0,0.0,0.2832301052789949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669358952254674,0.0,0.4540523014145649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mastercoolkid,2019/06/23,"Do your episodes “flicker” when your mood starts to change? I’ve been hypomanic for the past month and a half but the past few days it feels like a lightbulb flickering with depression coming on slowly. If I remember correctly the last time I had a manic episode it changed abruptly to depression. I don’t really know anyone in real life who’s bipolar that I can ask and I never know if I’m just making shit up in my head, I’m so tired of this.",3.4722380952380973,4.960045366666666,4.633174603174607,84.74500000000002,73.1111111111111,8.253968253968255,27.301587301587304,8.841846274778883,2.0371587301587297,353,13,72,7,7,116,68,90,0.21100000000000002,0.755,0.034,-0.9631,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,3,5,1,0,6,0,5,5,2,1,2,16,14,7,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,2,1,8,1,9,12,1,15,0,2,0,0,4,4,1,2,11,44,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373364464128628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18361952084096905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4155575487549726,0.16919229700772598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266700531323303,0.0,0.33834023642209804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993122492563419,0.14031739447446134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015762710291712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158867548101084,0.1601027049549515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13873221959078233,0.09595740770109247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311071167380839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15677487995294334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15148571478640582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3749966203977321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22356084774561127,0.1258271147692126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224974947384604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20161498982126874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13902204121048756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452992474313098,0.22574770201467126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dawn990,2019/06/23,"I can't cope anymore Without going into to much unnecessary details - I'm not ok. Far far from it.

For about a month or so I'm spiraling. There are better and there are bad days. The latter are far more consistent, in a row and to the point I really can't. Whatever I need to do I can't do it. I do end up doing it because world will not stop because I'm fucked up but it takes so much energy I don't have and I found myself seeking isolation because I get snappy, easily irritated and my ability to socialise is really limited. Since I don't want to make someone else feel bad with snapping at them it's best to just remove myself. 

Better days are ones when I don't feel sad for waking up. Days when I can drink my coffee and maybe shower. Cook some meal or at least eat. Days when I don't feel like my entire body is heavy and is weighting me down. And also going to the toilet doesn't feel like a hard to do chore. 

There were some things from external world that just assured me I'm not ready to deal with shit and it's pretty obvious. For few days now I'm self medicating to force myself into going to sleep as early as possible just because I can't handle being awake. I'm honestly blessed I'm even able to have that option.

At this point all I feel is this sharp pain it almost feels like something physical. I don't feel whole. I don't feel much of anything really. It's mostly just pain that makes me not want to be awake and simultaneously crave love. I know it wouldn't fix me but love is only emotion that is/could be stronger than this.

I'm not suicidal and I do have dreams about future. Kicker is that I'm not able to work towards it. I can dream about it, I can see myself being happy but it feels as fake as seeing myself being youngest Hollywood actress while I'm 28 and living across the world. It is, and can be, just a dream. (I don't want to be an actress it's just an example of how impossible my actual dreams feel)

I should start my new medication hopefully on Monday. There isn't much hope in me that they will actually work. I was considering asking for antipsychotics just because they could maybe kill my emotions. I know that my doctor would be like ""lol, no"" because I don't need them and my reasoning isn't valid but oh boy would it be nice to just be numb.

It's stupid but I'd give up possible happiness just to kill this pain because it's not worth it. I'm rarely happy but I love that feeling. Still... If there could be no pain I'd take no happiness as a side effect.

I need to numb myself. I will work towards being something I never was. I want to build walls that aren't paper-thin. I need to protect whats left of me so, when appropriate, I can reach inside and find strength within.

I've been struggling with depression for my entire life and past 9 years I've worked on it to my best ability. Welp look at me now and all my happiness and joy. It was sooo worth it. /s

At best, I feel tolerable and ignorable hollowness. At worse I feel burning hole in my chest that makes me want to rip my skin appart.

I haven't self harmed in years but it did cross my mind so many times in the past month or two.

Right now I'm visiting my parents but I'll cut my visit short just so I can go close myself in my room, sleep for few days and gain nothing. All that will happen is I'll lose few days.

Now I feel somewhat tolerable so I'll go grab my school book for my next exam and I have two ""assignments"" for myself. 1) Associate studying with an escape and 2) Make myself as numb as possible.

I spend too much time online seeking comfort and human contact that will make me feel more than just a shell of a person.

There is an ounce of willingness in me, not sure where it came from, but I will own that I'm a fighter. I never gave up. I will not give up. I will just redirect my potential progress into different direction.

Day I truly give up will be the day I die. Maybe not literally but when I stop fighting I will stop being a human. Because all I can do is fight and hope. Take that from me and you took entire me.",1.5361642121194483,3.5955321181384288,3.3357052214913563,89.34930729378893,80.44391408114558,6.569905116712265,20.959368997031266,7.678348718463194,0.7700150881890679,3177,90,681,52,82,1061,321,838,0.155,0.664,0.18,0.9862,3,1,3,0,4,0,82.0,0,1,4,15,43,54,8,1,19,2,85,27,7,8,9,136,158,59,4,19,37,1,20,4,0,14,11,0,3,6,43,33,5,6,21,9,3,11,34,24,0,3,10,23,94,29,86,118,24,97,1,3,3,4,27,46,2,13,44,448,137,9,0.09789391339605596,0.0,0.09553033810777363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049013306759828776,0.0,0.0,0.039142863587364594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04854222860483213,0.0,0.0,0.04027917481148048,0.0,0.0457587971591909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173732865421245,0.23870088395112765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541004338019879,0.08657921113432104,0.0,0.05436903458998942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05598227884449582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11724048621977913,0.0,0.0,0.2841006401057811,0.050462163102010585,0.042157942081333256,0.0,0.050799213324701366,0.05113915192075803,0.0,0.05009928424057457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0479493832630345,0.0,0.050084956323218285,0.040888901584900585,0.110117476410042,0.04335247540800465,0.0,0.0,0.03232900326930453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37123577997024254,0.10490314693540673,0.0,0.0,0.044736631673110594,0.0,0.0,0.053667811607864366,0.0,0.04525067274657442,0.025572764663582968,0.14086314287930787,0.13908841737274524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043283632158259235,0.2605247278500612,0.043846859039343135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458461166474055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10830511098280034,0.0,0.053799934655463934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05318101166926981,0.0,0.034572683049298815,0.0956520425454978,0.0,0.04322105951417591,0.0,0.041103116020291285,0.05475912439845616,0.0,0.0,0.13252961831024754,0.0,0.16336236837640694,0.049624531563164466,0.14752139076390894,0.0,0.0,0.09861781878449763,0.0,0.0,0.04942247305612315,0.0,0.07813798771031995,0.0,0.17990822541035234,0.14517419274780569,0.07550182097936911,0.047273275786748115,0.052055643739469616,0.0,0.0,0.046965925058480115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033167724615779666,0.03722636620319238,0.20833205177497552,0.0,0.05434980293136776,0.0,0.09345081726372388,0.0,0.0427385946165866,0.0,0.0,0.09254139026840293,0.1655410177849224,0.0,0.049796651710466634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094070021457642,0.05032562358969904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04180043357848817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04953693333170656,0.07800877460896304,0.0,0.10212470154128826,0.0,0.05024334766385771,0.04048942838450284,0.0,0.09796461120955602,0.0,0.041472597571360965,0.07536351719617153,0.0,0.0,0.03464490787946774,0.0,0.03908910284640667,0.12276554249756745,0.0,0.05116998666445925,0.0,0.05354002621510006,0.0,0.046131927424452684,0.0,0.11040605973898847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032518183095477125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057082728143238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05438186988361074,0.0,0.0,0.09562812884599076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14435091616207976,0.0,0.0,0.05960420687128956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05464752915675186,0.0,0.04718311958067595,0.0,0.14253586972642032,0.0,0.0498811305307886,0.06954102736296926,0.0,0.0,0.06304047064903485
bipolarreddit,magaliagnello,2018/11/30,"Out of body experience I dont know why but when I'm in a club dancing or when I'm having sex almost always I have this feeling of seeing myself in third person (and usually dont liking what I see), I tend to feel ugly of stupid in those situations after ""seeing"" myself like that. Anyone knows why that happen? ",4.761666666666667,5.186725761904763,6.660436507936506,75.36303571428572,69.15873015873018,8.204761904761906,23.686507936507937,8.07648339933343,1.373479365079365,245,5,45,3,4,86,46,63,0.18100000000000002,0.741,0.078,-0.8294,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,0,4,2,1,0,0,9,15,5,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,4,2,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,5,6,2,9,15,0,9,0,0,3,1,1,4,0,2,6,31,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19620395806359064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630364066304804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370046527492776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176433398979559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4592765826902773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19166530760889516,0.0,0.0,0.1981446379093216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17326763914201668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153651900021576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19145116484647487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17108581281690394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4684124991903284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202429191321217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21579841471498928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35360777603122584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,awkwardaster,2018/11/30,"Contingency Plan? Hi all, 

Have any of you mapped out a contingency plan for preventing episodes, or nipping them in the bud? I've been diagnosed (type 1) for 10 years and have had about 5 pretty serious episodes. I've tried mood stabilizers, but they don't really do much for me. Antipsychotics seem to be the best line of defense for me. Geodon worked great for me, until I started getting side effects, so now I take Zyprexa, but only when I need it (yes, it did cause weight gain...womp). I also have an Ativan prescription for anxiety which I use at night to help me fall asleep (as needed). My pdoc wants me to come up with a contingency plan with a list of symptoms and correlating actions to take (eg medication intervention). I think it's a great idea, and was wondering if any of you have something like that in place? I have an appointment with her today and am hoping to work with her on it and I'll share what I've come up with if anyone is interested. Thanks! ",4.374817629179333,5.8280499468085125,5.150334346504561,82.05500000000002,70.80851063829788,8.988449848024318,27.790273556231003,9.424239791934726,2.3040869300911853,762,27,154,17,14,247,124,188,0.021,0.768,0.21100000000000002,0.9919,0,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,2,7,5,11,1,0,8,1,14,5,1,3,1,32,29,15,0,6,5,0,1,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,7,13,1,2,5,0,0,4,1,2,0,0,4,1,19,8,30,24,3,21,0,0,0,0,10,10,0,6,8,95,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268856077005976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157974323171863,0.0,0.12137950036636486,0.0,0.0,0.1109433627914444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16651078807123645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16299428566459834,0.0,0.2733544208944656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16104324006298276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828967399812447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3498609319397048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10635086486357423,0.0,0.0,0.15759171613555628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791152572680798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751647703993426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15983988803795227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663819362923415,0.2352985190791611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14889783813370538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067308483025263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16577280694540633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614209547963982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10164587483846542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14444409646954118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214928599369865,0.0,0.0,0.11230502286083396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16491533026717664,0.2385950455999537,0.0,0.0,0.14607887048708712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10166713858895116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503973666281752,0.0,0.0,0.1077241935205049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703698264755762,0.0,0.0,0.09358566053034492,0.0,0.0,0.19321315093607605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720671391019103,0.23102232171904996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217607623649366
bipolarreddit,caradeee,2018/11/30,"Birth control options. Scared of the hormones. What works for you? Crosspost from r/bipolar.

​

I was on the pill from 15 to 21 and I honestly believe it made my bipolar 100x worse and was a huge contributor to my depression. 

Went off of it at 21 and got the copper IUD, Paragard. Worked phenomenally until the guys I was sleeping with were asking me why my vagina was hurting them. Found out the IUD was beginning to expel itself. Got it removed. Got a new one (still Paragard) implanted a few weeks later. 6 months later the head of my ex's dick was bleeding. Turns out the IUD had expelled itself again. Got it removed again and was told by my gyno that my uterus ""may not be the best shape for an IUD"". Went back on birth control for one month. Fucked up all the progress I've made emotionally and made me absolutely miserable. Went off the pill. This was in April 2018.  

​

I haven't been on any birth control since and I thought I would be fine, but I ended up having to take Plan B once in June, twice in July, and once last month. Last time I took it I was bleeding for 14 days. Clearly, I'm too irresponsible to not be on some form of birth control and I don't feel comfortable relying on Plan B and the pull and pray method.  

I'm terrified of trying the arm implant or a smaller IUD because I really really really don't want the hormones from those birth control options to fuck with my stability again. The issue is that I have too much sex with too many different guys (and no, I will not stop that so please don't suggest that as an option) not to be on something. I heard the IUD Mirena wasn't too bad, but I'm still scared.  

If any of you can relate, when your emotions get all out of wack after being stable for a few years, it's devastating. I don't want to risk that again.  

​

SO MY QUESTIONS FOR THE LADIES ON HERE:

* What method of birth control do you use?
* Has anybody else had a similar experience with the pill?
* Does anyone on here with bipolar take hormonal birth control that isn't the pill, and if so, hows your stability/rationality/emotionality?
* Does anyone have the arm implant? Thoughts?

​

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE.",2.7912316208268417,5.128809314420807,3.8043441157815856,86.16317073170731,77.60520094562649,6.490895462146112,25.68350343077899,7.590005382236693,1.3969413480943316,1712,65,335,25,41,551,203,423,0.128,0.7979999999999999,0.073,-0.9753,1,0,3,0,0,0,72.0,0,6,1,14,18,14,2,4,27,0,35,18,6,12,3,58,67,24,0,5,9,1,1,0,0,3,9,1,0,2,18,20,0,8,5,0,0,8,12,9,0,3,30,2,32,5,54,29,8,64,1,3,0,5,15,22,3,9,34,217,50,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772857895589906,0.31096697247522426,0.08701611358786007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947150255513632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05981192486482221,0.0,0.0,0.04919606334936053,0.053419968002099034,0.03900113263025275,0.0,0.0,0.07208266065210818,0.06714223377372817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.502306870559308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041261297632596484,0.0,0.05510519989089716,0.0,0.0,0.06684465725123953,0.0,0.0,0.11197727577584556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053446420387603284,0.21590399991594936,0.05666659009385281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06258394410459417,0.0,0.0,0.03234981097582451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014990154530923,0.0,0.11829549754050503,0.03342649662146518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20468007564716248,0.0,0.0,0.12669895354945107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566112754302403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849106763845654,0.0,0.0,0.06677767300125738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430319081067724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18161602658637988,0.0,0.06486487708542893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532027852620033,0.0,0.04703208094990827,0.0,0.0,0.0617915197734405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13627154135599254,0.08670793708823119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07022996006991501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167135761792533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12296016077263915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12810870110389688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05292426371979191,0.0,0.06402541509879464,0.0,0.0,0.04925432165977253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218775962789857,0.053489484424954964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620880733608596,0.0,0.0,0.05890346076225459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10158469251031674,0.03730679190391107,0.0,0.0,0.061134876998754,0.07108325649757043,0.04343768393760606,0.06959100847266972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05525749551213642,0.0,0.0,0.07547319149686522,0.0,0.05132026315845619,0.0,0.0,0.17792810616894625,0.05773128576624328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09315525385162338,0.0,0.06520028096675326,0.04544899518650294,0.0,0.31096697247522426,0.04120051364970991
bipolarreddit,sillywilly134,2019/10/06,Being on an ssri antidepressant WITHOUT a mood stabilizer?  My  psych stopped my mood stabilizer and I'm now only on ssri  antidepressant why is that? i told him i get really agitated when on  ssri alone but he wouldnt listen. he told me I just need to stay busy  and find a job to get my mind off things. wtf is that? maybe he thinks  im not bipolar anymore like he misdiagnosed me or something? he was the  one who diagnosed me bp2 a year ago.what you guys think?,0.9873550724637674,3.539832445652173,3.304347826086957,85.02724637681159,88.67391304347824,6.544927536231885,21.797101449275363,7.793537801064563,1.2919753623188406,363,13,74,8,12,124,65,92,0.151,0.8490000000000001,0.0,-0.9173,1,1,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,5,0,5,2,0,0,0,14,14,5,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,1,4,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,1,11,1,7,9,0,9,0,0,0,0,12,4,0,1,5,41,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18278708117539152,0.0,0.0,0.21356477852192687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20449859775683407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092923493885468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884663870707492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21546577752088025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20417401834510407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22273531096410346,0.0,0.20462529040134306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10074068051329728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20715926742153665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20820688971511325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15289738285960844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397289199457271,0.15682715662085264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320993289893858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15874563273662687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21978563908016627,0.0,0.17239547239020156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13699253280602558,0.2642539268654909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3940728205935008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18606670803358769,0.0,0.0,0.19877294614118227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13278838055217745
bipolarreddit,Cheeta2690,2019/10/06,"Any suggestions? I’ve recently been diagnosed with bipolar, I’ve also lost the one person I’ve loved dearly among a couple friends. 
Due to this I’ve been fighting with suicide almost everyday and I need suggestions on how you wonderful people deal with this. I do go on walks to help clear my mind but the only problem is that I can’t always go on walks.
Thanks for reading and any suggestions is greatly appreciated",4.364502712477397,6.7343691392405045,5.391175406871611,76.51164556962027,72.79746835443036,8.564918625678121,30.273056057866178,9.23628265651192,3.0747562386980114,338,15,57,8,7,111,55,79,0.109,0.653,0.23800000000000002,0.887,0,0,0,0,2,1,5.0,0,1,0,1,2,8,1,0,3,0,6,3,0,1,1,13,13,5,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,1,1,0,4,1,3,0,1,3,0,5,5,10,10,0,11,0,1,0,1,10,4,0,2,3,33,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20869377872169126,0.0,0.0,0.16666641473637533,0.17341486942834045,0.0,0.0,0.2834536162563665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306031026316536,0.0,0.0,0.21486286472840466,0.0,0.21153304874545145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16101802771741575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368898514860321,0.0,0.0,0.2297741573666396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13969367899272933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22750551698584026,0.0,0.18809930517602166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104359680605509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545343135379005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14122486808706186,0.1585061597473987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14448613095025842,0.18197667934333733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994214357393068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20846766581528048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057809830095056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22796809932533255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19187709350197213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260131285790067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,biipolarr,2019/10/06,"Cocaine use 22M diagnosed with Bipolr type II. Was too drunk last night and ended up doing a couple lines of cocaine with some friends. It was my first time ever and I really regret it. Should I be concerned of anything happening to me?

Thanks",2.7112765957446814,5.321636297872342,3.641957446808512,85.69400000000002,79.63829787234042,6.313191489361702,24.293617021276606,7.554174236665415,1.428382127659575,194,7,35,3,5,62,40,47,0.109,0.772,0.11900000000000001,0.1298,0,0,2,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,1,1,9,8,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,4,2,6,4,1,7,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,6,24,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536449552861261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.341047846633961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128444064423021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729980625936774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.278809404137138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621781390242894,0.0,0.0,0.2381357882681594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27256454470049435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25124653668495983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892506122781883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974584178057506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837744540747056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17972992365492707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662095812295667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,salvagethesavages,2019/10/06,"What are the worst side effects from your medicine you've experienced? Sorry for all the questions guys, but Im pretty sure I've decided to go get on medication. I just really want to know what to expect.",2.881,5.347857099999999,4.535,80.36,78.0,8.0,25.0,8.841846274778883,2.14325,164,6,31,4,4,55,33,40,0.084,0.7070000000000001,0.20800000000000002,0.7535,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,1,2,10,5,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,6,5,2,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,17,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17178688465134442,0.0,0.186867288115904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255683472504389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3551654987870526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807024639394845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3312361428841707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3345125869629207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3683365140937141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106407101185292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3680699416160636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3098945381722487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193937530887024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cjdom,2019/10/06,"Does anyone else feel like the most unreliable person ever? I feel like I try to make plans with the best intentions, but when it comes time to follow through either my brain talks me out of it, my meds make me feel crappy, or I just don’t feel like doing it anymore. I wonder if people are starting to lose their patience with me. Does anyone else feel this way? How do you help yourself be better about keeping plans?",5.782317073170731,6.129614060975612,5.627951219512196,83.92314634146345,66.92682926829268,7.5356097560975615,26.15609756097561,6.742157984588678,1.0522019512195118,331,8,64,2,5,103,58,82,0.08900000000000001,0.728,0.182,0.7808,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,1,5,5,6,0,0,2,0,5,1,1,4,1,22,17,5,0,1,5,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,1,6,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,5,11,5,9,16,3,8,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,4,7,41,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542810481636447,0.2175526716984532,0.3187943492599422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16325837751830774,0.13758671394884078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17366465588889507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13400753116246925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27227614177528064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599131838850353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14071961018946474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3932977320009558,0.33341212239374385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427354195133504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13827544366321312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280071054686382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17404011623554186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207684880962376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17280029955925902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078508401071748,0.13583544398354447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11011139897777836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12503917487930932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071259584796308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562004574803786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12348215270650452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16870619783492236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Aayu29,2019/10/06,"It is hard to smile,isnt it? I am going through a very rough time. Felling very low and depressed. I just wanted to listen and talk to my family here who understands what I am going through. 
Send me some love and good vibes. Thank you.",0.8256028368794333,3.315984361702128,1.7756382978723408,96.28416666666668,88.36170212765957,4.835460992907802,18.471631205673766,6.42735559955562,-0.07547943262411394,183,5,39,2,6,57,36,47,0.139,0.68,0.18100000000000002,0.5012,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,7,10,3,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,0,3,6,3,5,10,1,6,0,2,0,1,6,1,0,1,1,25,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570002739414274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28129269478178937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3391604011212176,0.25027284710908565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672961304145794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693059048073381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398321567703089,0.0,0.2747146472922645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17399185118943358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3106313757658176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4924010263761036,0.17599637537230226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ShieldOfLannisport42,2019/10/06,"So I'm pretty sure a friend of mine is bi-polar. Don't know if this is the right place to ask, but I'll take a shot.

I'll start of with saying that I'm not a mental health expert, and that it's late here and I'm a little stressed, so the post may be a little messy.

A friend of mine who I have known for over 3 years now is starting to show worrying signs of his mental health. So last summer he became extremely depressed for about a month. He said it was because of allergies and a lot of stress taking exams. Then he started to appear normal again, but as fall came, he started to become very weird. He became a part of a semi-pyramid scheme, and his days seemed to be constantly trying to get people to join it, and he told me constantly about getting an apartment, buying lots of expensive furniture , and he generally seemed to have a extremely eccentric view of the future. He seemed to be 100% certain that we would have a jacuzzi, and live like kings. He became extremely picky in what furniture we should buy. He was always a confident guy, but his self-esteem seemed to go extreme. 

We eventually did start renting a pretty cheap apartment by december, and in just a month he seemed to become extremelly depressed. He said he had no energy. He blamed it on allergies. He dropped out of college and just seemed to always be tired, wanting to be alone, and his self-esteem was non-existance. His involvement in the pyramid scheme completely went away as well, and he never slept in the apartment, always staying at his parents house. Eventually I had to move out because I couldn't afford it anymore.

His mood seemed to stabilize by march, and it seems to only grow and grow. He eventually got a small job, and seemed to do okay. But now he has gone completely off the rails. He went away for a week last month, and started posting extremely vapid and ridicolous snapchats, and his ego seemed to go through the roof. He continues to post so many either normal or dumb snapchat stories, and he always wants people to focus on them, and he claims they are some of the best snapchat has ever seen. He adds people he doesn't know on snapchat and seems to think that everyone ""woudl want"" to see them. He has signed himself on to three reality shows, and talks about knowing a minor celebrity after snapchating with him. His behaviour seems completely delusional. 

He also seems to be very manipulative and selfish. The worst part is that he has invested over 10.000 dollars into buying an apartment in Spain, and his plan is seemingly to become rich off the rent money he will get from it. But another friend of mine has done some research, and I'm pretty sure my friend is getting scammed, as all proof leads to the apartment not being in Spain, but in Iraq. Something he has been told, but seemingly ignores. He stays up very late and never seems to sleep much. He often does brash, impulsive and weird things, and talks to people in a very over-confident, annoying manner and seems to believe they like him instantly. He is now still talking non stop about getting rich on ""risk-free"" gambling and the apartment stuff. He also sometimes post bizarre snaps about him being healthy, and everyone else being sick, which he has said is a joke, but I don't fucking know anymore. There seems to be no structure to what he does anymore.

He has become very frustrating to associate with, and I don't know how to even tell him this. Frankly, I'm starting to get sick off him. All my friends are 100% sure he is manic or in some psychosis. I don't know how to tell him this, as I know he would just become extremely angry and call me names. He told me a friend of his told him he was worried about him becoming psychotic, and he called a ""fucking idiot"". I'm getting kinda scared of him. The question is if he is manic, then when will it end, and when will the depression kick in. Since the mania seems to be stronger now than last time, will the depression be stronger too?",6.8701804013008525,6.8469000844327175,6.5408203963919735,79.56536571148065,64.64643799472296,9.636914769589495,32.93133705589986,9.22739947703685,2.754219819598699,3136,116,592,49,43,980,314,758,0.12300000000000001,0.763,0.115,-0.87,5,1,1,0,0,0,99.0,3,0,4,4,32,37,6,3,40,1,60,9,2,4,10,130,133,62,0,11,18,1,0,2,6,8,5,4,2,1,22,45,0,2,29,3,13,12,12,18,1,1,23,7,43,18,99,89,13,98,0,4,3,2,98,38,3,33,43,358,65,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03958129141284093,0.0,0.06112424999453036,0.1271984382513183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040073861821543016,0.0,0.0,0.11370299888424075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035727740648876016,0.0,0.07181226822832111,0.0,0.0,0.046593462918148414,0.2532460760121066,0.0,0.04305747743246645,0.040106388822554316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804766980506189,0.043710072459530784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020940753167132,0.08259801087694496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024646806535405616,0.0,0.13166500122214694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668879170253898,0.03910926465568193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031925403680531865,0.0,0.03384892291804624,0.0,0.0,0.025241971291860784,0.034569468881215995,0.0,0.07303597183835296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17715817902592962,0.07066201038687267,0.13976765391749474,0.0,0.043439209172113934,0.0,0.03056562999452585,0.0,0.0,0.037840843302813454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124577816517073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044097292521331134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03792448036547935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470214649575391,0.09345587920526413,0.08622089224648012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037341796340404805,0.07660695771976167,0.033746315479404015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06498146179647424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03874604455494502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770275043725502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151334605761093,0.040618628066701086,0.02809389589371912,0.0,0.058950620338300515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07488910109318911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029065754337482638,0.0,0.0,0.04243546124462342,0.08277058413603358,0.0,0.105979436863935,0.0,0.03992863602756073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464053060869184,0.11664129968088208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042811791841063214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03263711335565188,0.10905936974849603,0.03039169620097436,0.0382618888979808,0.0,0.030454004919203363,0.6610351923827275,0.07973734182342157,0.0,0.0,0.03161350136259428,0.0,0.038244604746564964,0.0,0.0,0.029421317472624036,0.037797595035266855,0.0,0.1893513493046979,0.08146848454129685,0.030520149466235512,0.03195112732613048,0.08755489994268492,0.0,0.0437493272523725,0.0,0.0,0.10805722446678667,0.0,0.057468863013686214,0.09215214267087607,0.06680669350029801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025389679889662863,0.02448791359380607,0.0,0.0,0.0222846428801098,0.043924825164124735,0.0,0.14607194367670592,0.0,0.02594683768526215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15766515718377186,0.06762413894479596,0.0,0.03065537610269717,0.0,0.034361677067316354,0.07085509281208656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776224471118733,0.0,0.054296527538454376,0.0,0.0,0.02461049815073005
bipolarreddit,TheNoncaringMurse,2019/10/06,Who saw the Joker movie? Your thoughts? When I see stuff like that and people praising it all over I think to myself we will never be able to be out in the open about mental illness.,2.9401801801801817,4.5250568918918965,3.2524324324324314,93.71126126126127,74.67567567567569,4.933333333333334,20.44144144144144,3.1291,-0.4125963963963959,143,3,30,0,3,44,33,37,0.065,0.746,0.18899999999999997,0.6322,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,1,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,2,8,7,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,5,2,6,2,1,6,1,0,2,0,4,4,0,0,3,24,9,0,0.3979028384782982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19439522803178652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4009924734397233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30688719896636263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758557275611453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3170770456130397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4555035526376078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549600722844611,0.0,0.3158904075734084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mightguy,2019/10/06,Is there financial assistance available for people have run into money problems due to mania? Exactly what the title says...  are there resources available for people that have ran themselves into tremendous debt from a major manic episode?,12.487631578947365,13.124356184210527,10.141052631578948,56.19736842105266,52.94736842105264,10.757894736842106,45.31578947368421,10.125756701596842,5.521536842105262,197,10,20,3,2,59,32,38,0.13699999999999998,0.863,0.0,-0.6767,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,4,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,16,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7442830192476075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.513634032964181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4268757049078995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,youngile,2019/01/31,Invega sustenna injections Anyone have experience with this? I’ve taken it 4 times and I really don’t like it. I have never been this depressed. Yeah it’s supposed to stop mania but I feel as if I have no soul. I’m going to ask my doctor to stop. I can’t stand this drug.,-0.9107088122605376,1.201312258620689,2.3854022988505754,89.4387164750958,98.82758620689656,5.33639846743295,15.06513409961686,6.937597516519254,0.11802835249042155,213,5,45,4,9,76,42,58,0.17800000000000002,0.757,0.064,-0.7309,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,1,8,11,4,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,2,1,6,1,5,9,0,6,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,28,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166891143274226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897144376711407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669162050080852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3171955309705817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3593853293106005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031414256351487,0.0,0.0,0.1566946276484217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761231724930521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15140136672385665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23901379588374466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19852971858431592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5181801433917496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18070503937439172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,caveghoul,2019/01/31,"Lithium and watery eyes? Ever since starting lithium 4 months ago I've had a sudden, extreme uptick in how much my eyes water. I can't seem to find any consistent factor that could explain it, other than the drug, but I also can't find anything about lithium and watery eyes online. Is this a thing? And if so, any remedies out there?",4.199846153846156,5.804492369230772,4.729230769230772,84.31076923076925,71.46153846153847,5.815384615384616,26.84615384615385,5.6839178017228535,1.0276769230769234,264,9,47,1,5,84,51,65,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,0,5,5,3,1,1,13,8,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,4,1,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,5,6,1,7,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,2,5,32,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392536484967687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158421651820987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3670880084523528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22210802956850156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154964155530664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130030003050385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441436586357961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4933748100328174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21543483159739865,0.0,0.198410526710542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457105033009261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223267412972762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910394703889914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17931225270348866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sundriedteeth,2019/06/19,mixed episode i was stable for like 8 hours and now i’m having a mixed episode i feel myself about to do something life changing and stupid,1.0782142857142851,3.7018403928571466,1.047142857142859,100.0228571428572,91.5,2.8000000000000003,21.285714285714285,3.1291,-0.5378142857142851,113,4,23,0,4,33,23,28,0.121,0.7120000000000001,0.16699999999999998,0.0772,0,0,1,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,1,3,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5518398240613954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26376348749268325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5137232365815242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.368459020320988,0.2548533609451118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4015940515008493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BohemianJack,2019/06/19,"[x-post from /r/mentalhealth] Not sure if this is the correct subreddit... but I had a question about inpatient voluntary stays. Relative is trying to appeal her stay. What's that process like? Long story short, we're in Texas.

I've had to take a relative to 3 separate inpatient facilities in the last month. The first one let her out in a week's time, she had a manic episode, so we took her to another one, and she voluntarily discharged herself ""against medical advice"".

I immediately took her to one further away, where she stayed for 15 days. She was released last Friday, we had an emergency psyche appointment with a new doctor. Later that night, she had a full blown breakdown. We called EMS and got her to a hospital, where her new psyche doctor and the doctor there did an assessment, and signed paperwork for an involuntary stay at another hospital (this time, it was her doctor's preferred hospital).

She had an aggressive moment the first night, and they had to sedate her and put her in the ICU portion of the mental facility.

Yesterday, I found out that she is starting an appeal process for early discharge. I know this is well within her right as a patient, but naturally I'm very anxious about this. This has been a month+ long process and I'm scared that she'll make a case with a lawyer and get out.

I know this is probably not the place to ask (I wasn't sure where else to ask), but what is the likelihood that she'll win the appeal and get out? She's been very dangerous at home (although, she's good at putting on an act for nursing staff... she's called my brother multiple times on the phone and was very angry and rude. In fact, she yelled for me to ""Fuck off"" last night, which I called the nursing station to report on her case), and at this point my family and I are exhausted trying to get her help and trying to get her safe and back to stable ground.

What are her chances of appealing her involuntary stay? The case worker told me yesterday that this is very common for patients to do, but I'm very paranoid that she'll win the appeal. What's like likelihood that she'll win?",6.0217037037037,6.531023318518523,6.315654320987655,78.63644444444444,66.4320987654321,10.035555555555558,31.50864197530864,9.98439552973466,2.9554671604938267,1664,62,320,36,25,535,184,405,0.096,0.8059999999999999,0.098,0.4823,0,0,0,0,0,0,61.0,3,0,1,6,9,16,4,1,31,0,30,7,0,1,4,43,50,23,0,2,7,1,0,2,0,4,6,1,1,0,22,24,0,1,5,0,0,5,3,6,1,5,19,1,47,10,49,26,2,66,0,0,0,1,45,29,1,2,29,211,69,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709797872621946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16546236284435928,0.0,0.08913201235019971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14751751186793574,0.0,0.07412704342786375,0.06066750798771992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24169030522844906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05088252866764744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3230208054561863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06590895520956569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07437778716214526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13422079006452206,0.0,0.08650732238706926,0.0,0.07293970851880342,0.16488329453381692,0.0,0.0,0.06617569848084373,0.06310174676005226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05288350597138758,0.0,0.07914088701345745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672029196289192,0.19293661618964747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067830590570538,0.0,0.07709092129492105,0.0,0.0,0.13964407108201568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05266486798571875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948119354143715,0.07951038593586952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12595087988538328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15239989804904916,0.0,0.22212061149210688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603894938262583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243136750450351,0.0,0.0745838859667907,0.0,0.07556224549174365,0.0,0.08506513046688162,0.0,0.0,0.1586280826252166,0.08838354869775844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737825663388265,0.0,0.0,0.07899042238730379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05584424117938605,0.4204725766629739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14872041167630595,0.0,0.05932129717475525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380177564058781,0.0,0.0,0.07539019153446945,0.17531663054969024,0.16069920179621586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3254945775132399,0.0,0.0,0.06328702467487166,0.0,0.07093856220011889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,maygotoskylandtrail,2019/06/19,"Skyland Trail in Atlanta (treatment center) Hey, I’m wondering if anyone here has been to Skyland Trail in Atlanta, GA for bipolar treatment. I may go there soon, they offer DBT and CBT programs for bipolar and several other mental illnesses. I have heard good things about it but am wondering if any bipolar redditors have been there. Thanks!",6.2360000000000015,8.780903933333335,5.8066666666666675,74.80500000000002,68.0,8.133333333333335,37.0,8.841846274778883,3.8064,276,15,40,5,5,85,44,60,0.034,0.868,0.098,0.6114,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,0,8,13,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,3,2,6,9,0,5,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,5,1,28,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122736174673594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2182634770104072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17740280184242002,0.2618177367136852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145751351153034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3526421674116646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.287387017916527,0.0,0.0,0.20737948209240595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6770296323217728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mental_acrobat,2019/06/19,"about me right now [ logical rant] I am bipolar, stable for 3 years, and starting a job soon in software development. I had a girlfriend until yesterday - My mom mentioned my girlfriend had a bunch of disabilities, I was like ""nah, only 5 or 6 -Physical:  a deaf ear due to a brain tumor removed, 3-day-migraines, vertigo that makes driving hard, genetic problems where joints fuse together ,Mental: ocd, PTSS, Anxiety , Depression, and light form of bipolar, plus suicidal tendencies and self harm"" , then my mom mentioned my disability and I put two together - if I have an episode my parents would pick up the slack and help. If I was with someone else that was less stable than I was that would just make things worse. So, on seeing that my mom disliked this disabilities fact, I got really quiet and distant. My girlfriend saw it and was already low , so she panicked, drove away,  shutdown communication and had a panic attack. When I tried to talk to her she said I sounded just like her ex being condescending. Long story short we resolved the issues with bandaid actions, but I realized during this time that I would not be doing my parents any favors by giving them two disabled adults to worry about. Also, this upset was likely to happen again. So, I told my parents what I was going to do , then I broke up with my girlfriend. She cried and said she didn't want me to go. I cried a bit and said I'm sure someone without a disability would be able to help her better than I could. It hurts like hell. my other breakups didn't hurt so bad. This one feels like I'm a rock climber who severed a limb to keep surviving.  We were talking about kids, marriage , and doing all that stuff. Still, the way she behaved during the panicked 5 days is not something I want to go through again, or if i do , I would rather there be more communication, less shutting down, less blaming. Fights happen, however this was her saying I was pretty much her ex... Do I feel right breaking up? Hell no. Will I get over her and move on? Most likely yes. I want my next manic episode to be so smooth that I get treated quickly and I'm out in a few weeks. Breakup was the route to doing so. If I triggered my girlfriend/ex by just being distant, I could easily trigger her when I'm manic, and I don't want to do that. 


----------
I feel like crying a bit today. Playing the piano while coming up with lyrics helps. At the moment , nothing seems pressing, I might hit the gym like I did yesterday. I might go see a movie. This is my off day because I need one and I need to get my spirits up. I'm afraid I may be sinking in bipolar quicksand and I'm doing my best to chill and let the down side pass. I'll miss my ex. I'll get over her.",3.2387434113430302,5.158700278937385,4.2255306767868435,85.62640059034368,74.67362428842505,6.5819776512755634,27.270883407126288,7.3871296695380915,1.4875190301496946,2105,82,408,25,45,681,266,527,0.168,0.713,0.11900000000000001,-0.9776,5,0,1,0,1,0,91.0,2,0,1,4,24,31,4,3,23,1,49,8,2,5,3,74,92,38,1,19,14,9,6,8,4,9,6,8,0,3,21,26,0,1,7,3,0,12,7,16,0,4,24,18,70,15,51,48,13,64,3,6,3,0,48,25,2,11,33,280,91,1,0.0737368625814831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137046144190918,0.05896734236601734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050143595100167734,0.0,0.056408498048166375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388632618554534,0.06927820966439027,0.0,0.06156720026473074,0.04494930702885756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07738228807636244,0.06521426279074312,0.16100311251801372,0.0,0.0,0.08231472488552591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351777800593078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117745769496396,0.0,0.24298944338830825,0.1426625287998438,0.0,0.06350945169374822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061597686979282064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185071979806388,0.10535525872306664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15409786928822036,0.07073511756387922,0.16762543308688746,0.0,0.05897410499700195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13041052812215434,0.0,0.06605374547717212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14827279404603952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15787367291108756,0.0,0.0,0.07696212709673601,0.07317245832757495,0.06554071146660563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07540093781485313,0.0,0.28819285171613984,0.0,0.0,0.06525480302086628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843985669852323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430941438696606,0.15644631731836706,0.0,0.2590791668062956,0.0,0.07837061552040027,0.05420507826953868,0.109349898575553,0.0,0.0,0.07841998988187468,0.0,0.0,0.07075250834111423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09993201282043156,0.056080206703501854,0.0,0.08651432074479426,0.2456281791821235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501689812597864,0.0,0.07055621910966757,0.0,0.07412591315249413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047237722309974084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12594175550642864,0.21042192565985204,0.05863851270574965,0.0,0.0,0.11751746546732175,0.06712727033130138,0.0769236290846693,0.08330166635359237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495400876025455,0.05676623927239205,0.0,0.0,0.052191330856722624,0.0,0.0588863537073608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441106626598872,0.08065615968706162,0.0,0.06949612034312375,0.0,0.0,0.1185337940805682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048987495036791694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042996557547403946,0.0,0.06989392390220843,0.07045873212043245,0.0,0.05006248947804663,0.0,0.14406040071384602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17396764802716816,0.058528889348741564,0.05914726342387931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107970422247227,0.0,0.0,0.07488336322398216,0.07514416248693898,0.26190275781972217,0.0,0.0,0.04748412194447199
bipolarreddit,misshome,2019/06/19,"I'm sorry, but how is it possible that it's all in my head? I'm home sick for the second day this week. Not because I'm depressed or manic or suicidal. Because I'm alternately freezing or roasting and shivering no matter what. It's incredibly gross and uncomfortable and overwhelming, especially because I'm always sweaty somewhere. Who knows what the cause actually is, but every test ever has come back normal for physiologic causes or effects. The thermometer is always normal. 

Idk if it's laziness, but somehow they always manage to blame bipolar. FMLA is in place, but we're short staffed at work and my constantly calling out is not helping. Not to mention that I'm fucking sick of being sick. 

How do you manage all this bullshit?",4.8429166666666665,7.312901772058827,6.096176470588237,71.54196078431376,71.72058823529412,8.062745098039215,32.65686274509804,8.841846274778883,3.2808892156862752,595,29,92,12,12,199,87,136,0.29,0.6809999999999999,0.028999999999999998,-0.9925,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,1,2,5,4,1,1,3,0,8,6,1,5,3,31,17,15,1,3,12,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,11,6,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,4,0,1,0,1,4,0,9,16,2,12,0,2,0,1,6,6,1,6,5,60,15,4,0.0,0.0,0.1662140383218154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42517573501573497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097052091594394,0.0,0.3114882559172746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17392234177208885,0.0,0.0,0.3499443507383205,0.0,0.14672114876807005,0.0,0.18406237512683604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098464648732755,0.0,0.1467019156316667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15407001891678498,0.14350737420740012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15746405179686085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17480406952825572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416622430471406,0.0,0.1708513097323934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360695856059972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337675004997881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779548806267721,0.0,0.0,0.19201747227771615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906665079220807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863094833607313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662559850926978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399967896173845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mood-ring,2019/06/19,"Constantly Questioning Relationship?? Hi, Bipolar 2 female here 👽

I’ve been in a committed relationship with my fiancé for 2, almost 3 years now. I love her so much and our relationship is healthy, supportive and loving. We live together and although we fight a bit due to my own mental illness and hers- it never gets violent or unhealthy. 

Lately, she’s been physically distant due to working through some childhood trauma that has resurfaced. We’ve never been the kind of couple to f*ck like bunnies but we’ve always had a regular sex life. 

I’ve been questioning our relationship a lot, and have for a majority of our relationship. I have no basis for these questions. Sure we have our fair share of fights an rough patches, but overall I’m happy. I’m curious to know if anyone else with bipolar has had this issue? One of my biggest symptoms has always been paranoia and racing thoughts/anxiety. I want to attribute it to that, but im scared I’m just alone here with this. 

Would love some insight!! I hate feeling crazy lol",3.8912372554422703,6.591651774869112,4.949374483328743,77.48288784789202,75.75392670157069,7.581262055662718,30.47147974648664,8.532816995589336,2.830878534031413,823,39,137,17,19,269,120,191,0.156,0.643,0.201,0.8741,0,1,0,0,2,0,25.0,7,0,0,1,5,15,4,1,7,1,15,9,0,1,4,35,27,13,0,3,6,0,2,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,7,12,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,6,0,1,7,2,17,9,18,19,7,11,0,0,0,4,25,2,0,9,10,90,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11270766046986724,0.11657312466083185,0.0,0.0,0.18730969695096392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08610433301063394,0.0,0.0,0.07870113343917856,0.11532598715008655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12288100282480625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12163206245932533,0.0,0.0,0.1245400622572796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09402533192463364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05691123358013644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05880538709828925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981698241423384,0.0,0.1111248454574578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215788078497304,0.11747826746043813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11720880203061874,0.061857331909493225,0.0,0.126967040001079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950098616578867,0.05498872983256417,0.0,0.09938820338611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09569030943980228,0.3047560797296563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11342905384109064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08274093925001345,0.0,0.17361884284807966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627023948560073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37826236859134654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6042102010820456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268727686879372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772617819592225,0.1060818368867372,0.11698783133085427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0663879061538626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08194144341567547,0.0,0.0,0.07995590400743109,0.0,0.0,0.0724817853709415
bipolarreddit,shivasutra,2019/06/19,"People with Mental health give the world color- BP1 here Hi, I was lurking and this is kind of a throw away, I was reading different posts this morning and it hurt my heart how many were sad, suicide or depression.  This disease sucks, don’t get me wrong.  This is a long post of hope, so bear with me, but basically my life has changed and I manage my bp1 today. 

I’ve done the psyc wards, manic drug benders, hyper sexual for weeks at a time and suicide attempts using a car. 

I have been medicated for over theee years (March 17th, 2016) and only missed a dose once.  My life is beyond beautiful today because I stick with my meds.  I’m half way through grad school at a top 10 school and I own my own recording studio.  I’m close with my family and surrounded by friends.  This obviously was not always the case, but I wanted to give anyone who needs it some hope.  I’m 34 and my life is finally coming together.  I attribute this to strong communities I’ve found (a yoga family and a music family) and my lamictal and seroquel.  When I go off my meds, I try and kill myself every time.  But it’s been over 3 years now.

I’m crazy like the rest of us, but remember, we make the world an interesting place, without us, all those normies would be missing so much creative and so many people with huge huge hearts.  We are crucial in this world, we add beauty and make the picture detailed, colored and what I’ve learned to beautiful.

I love all of my fellow brothers and sisters who are suffering and if I can ever be of help, just message me.  You’re all in my thoughts and I’m sending good vibes and energy to this sub.",4.086865489130435,5.2428980968750025,5.028586956521738,83.79076086956525,71.15625,8.065217391304348,27.66304347826087,8.456263369488248,1.8586671195652176,1261,44,253,20,23,412,188,320,0.11,0.711,0.179,0.9838,1,0,1,0,0,3,40.0,5,0,0,3,10,18,2,0,15,0,20,10,2,5,5,59,43,30,3,6,9,2,0,1,2,1,7,0,1,0,15,30,0,0,4,2,0,5,3,9,0,1,9,2,33,9,28,31,8,39,0,6,2,1,18,18,1,5,14,155,48,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08364770401565083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029181321392096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09444976589392792,0.0,0.0,0.061281195725704375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634574564754276,0.08659633803796632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865849864421296,0.0,0.0,0.10503080931176248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028754830377591,0.0,0.0,0.1165810590815048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093371713388117,0.08469953508508381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843077611213233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101239774444402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11022423085739826,0.07766801294542916,0.0,0.05252195369053643,0.1928720539041852,0.0571326214607084,0.08431847461264616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10685701645257413,0.0,0.2382533388654311,0.06738208523733158,0.0,0.0,0.19969482077959927,0.0,0.0,0.10761775975087913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121980940112508,0.10468488647283307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130186018555945,0.049113111302882234,0.0,0.0,0.08896449401092422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073082981165677,0.0,0.13420701061486012,0.20384009182915705,0.0,0.0,0.2233288386688268,0.10127181357589264,0.10130900937775547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738999604294267,0.07454055446163241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10705949333382064,0.0,0.07645639834066655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13938750645702852,0.0,0.10503080931176248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19255688793415493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005556309238866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11387911038345035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20348026915714404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21992356434297256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980834150995109,0.11723786784532067,0.0,0.19057838769077834,0.0,0.0,0.06825220273697656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24184663869119885,0.0868242835379809,0.0,0.0,0.0592942705537651,0.07979478574576564,0.08063783996028087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690581578456893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141250988696309,0.10991205316532296,0.0,0.12947402142926254
bipolarreddit,RebaJams,2019/06/19,"Disassociation and Mania I feel like when I’m manic I make terrible mistakes and either forget about them or don’t believe it was me who did it (and therefore don’t feel guilty) when I get back to “normal”.  Eventually, when the depression hits, the guilt sinks in badly.

Anyone else?  Disassociation and Mania?",4.0111309523809515,6.963473089285718,5.75,70.46166666666669,77.03571428571429,7.3047619047619055,23.619047619047624,8.344100000000001,1.9303547619047623,247,8,40,5,6,84,41,56,0.26899999999999996,0.691,0.04,-0.9226,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,5,6,0,1,2,0,4,0,0,2,0,13,10,8,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,2,2,5,1,3,7,1,5,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,5,27,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332504060631561,0.34179727987247616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565062936296546,0.27852956243116306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3758360905329785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28731629365053674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786674841041875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33734122399598565,0.2383132088659226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.174284407606115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16297279342558665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226705948470173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268424981762908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,neophyte-renegade,2019/06/19,"I'm doing my best I've been on mood stabilizers for about three years now. I was on risperidone right up until about a month and a half a go. I tried Latuda, landed on Seroquel (hoping it would help with anxiety). Going off Risperidone was one of the hardest things I ever did. I'm also on an antidepressant and adderall in the mornings. Mood stablizers have effectively halted my hypomania in all but a few situations.

I am going to counseling. I am actively conferring with my doctor when I have issues. I'm choosing to take my meds. I've been doing that consistently for about half a year now. I am doing my best. I'm living at home because I ended up in the hospital prior to my good (at being proactive) half a year, and because I've had some really rough lows in the time since then when meds stopped working. My home situation is toxic. I can't move out as I'm between jobs. I was hoping to find part time work so I could still attend counseling, something that I wasn't able to do after I got out of the hospital due to scheduling and going to work full time and honestly thinking I was better for a while.

Due to the toxicity at home, I've slipped into a depression. Meds were working somewhat before this additional stressor came to the forefront. I fully recognize that this could turn into something worse if I'm not able to work it out soon. I'm in a relationship with someone who is extremely supportive. Due to the depression, I'm struggling to feel anything towards them. I feel like a monster because I have bipolar. I look on the internet-- on reddit, and everywhere there's people with bipolar who aren't working towards to controlling it or who can't at the moment and they hurt people so much. There's the support sub and I glanced at it and it made me feel awful. 

I want to be balanced enough to be in a relationship. I want to work through other issues that prevent me from feeling as freely as I would like towards my partner, but in the same moment I feel like I should end it. I can't feel anything right now, and I know I will hurt them. I know that as a person with Bipolar I will hurt the person I care about. I am aware that my obsessiveness about this view is likely the result of my anxiety that I am working on with my counselor, but the fear persists. 

Typing this out has made me feel somewhat better, but I'm tired of not feeling anything and having to live here. I want to be better. I want to be balanced. It's nearly been six years since this came to the forefront of my life, and I've hardly had any luck with meds in that time. I do my best to be optimistic.  I do believe that somewhere out there is a prescription/therapy combo that will work and enable me to be happy. I have had good patches. I can have them again.

I'm just tired in the meantime, and really wish I was somewhere else.

I guess I'm saying this here instead of saying it to my partner, because again, I have no desire to hurt them, and would like to work it through somewhere else as opposed to telling them how I feel completely.",4.378704318936877,5.566154079734222,5.472657807308973,80.76187707641198,70.4950166112957,8.058471760797342,29.9468438538206,8.428315365350997,2.235584053156145,2404,96,458,37,43,796,236,602,0.106,0.73,0.163,0.9845,1,0,2,0,0,0,60.0,0,0,6,20,26,33,0,3,31,1,58,7,0,6,2,87,104,35,0,15,9,0,11,5,2,7,7,2,3,4,30,32,0,5,15,0,0,8,8,10,0,6,19,16,66,21,93,69,13,81,0,7,3,0,19,40,0,9,38,344,96,13,0.11604358632828154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046400007030666886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0394568090036824,0.0,0.08877302591587205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14324097599073898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14147818629618594,0.0,0.04937227247568839,0.06537069185365876,0.18267087679679053,0.15394668288802235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327229483954191,0.059157085080647286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060834746221791025,0.0,0.06507637472679745,0.0926513611305738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994817086421616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059387763897387084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693952598951236,0.0,0.10278017392562784,0.05995202254152589,0.0,0.0,0.05248403372731368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529064832835818,0.2640380578524879,0.08290156125952924,0.0,0.0,0.05303086779861331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13190048867171753,0.09733185456150026,0.046405328385041036,0.0,0.0639175466051027,0.0,0.0,0.06176527773408772,0.051976130033442966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03889078491101482,0.0,0.17460176805444175,0.11525746488000202,0.0,0.0,0.2484541184699289,0.0,0.0,0.12111935505648998,0.057577676805853475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377452024406212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04098250842011245,0.14173258673010786,0.0,0.1024686127449296,0.0,0.048723693095859145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098032472003553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577965285136085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04631244174342116,0.06166798375569841,0.04265269404872985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03931706866383141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283194781429678,0.0,0.08045001150987917,0.10132478357207264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434049286774815,0.0,0.0,0.12458738361672557,0.0,0.09910058867296892,0.0,0.0922825174967572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599245377208768,0.13043785306866088,0.0,0.0,0.04916167706014093,0.08933602213219118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046336278970688496,0.048508817129137766,0.0,0.060656976097080074,0.0,0.0,0.1316848865866201,0.0,0.0,0.043625167558180036,0.0,0.05071360463951411,0.0,0.06635297713260986,0.0,0.03854710120752918,0.03717802224225704,0.0,0.0,0.13533189677164428,0.1333750317832009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03939298890792014,0.06311104958525418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689102760413882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0667221986759536,0.0,0.0,0.4224055645971588,0.0,0.059129164174726474,0.12365105141169945,0.0,0.0,0.14945652991397332
bipolarreddit,psychoPRN,2019/06/19,"ADHD/Bipolar diagnosis Hey everyone first time post!

In nursing school I was put on adderall and then not too long after I had my first manic episode and was diagnosed as bipolar. Had the whole no sleeping, hyper sexuality, textbook behaviors with some auditory hallucinations. Was starting on depakote but stopped soon after due to my own non compliance. 

My question is, which I see here often, is it possible I’m not bipolar at all? I am currently only on lexapro and have what I would characterize as hypomania very rarely with mostly anxiety and depression. 

I’m questioning whether my bipolar is true or if it was induced by the adderall? I do see a therapist regularly who seems to think it is true and have an appointment with a psychiatrist next month but wanted your input! Thanks in advance, you’re an amazing group of people!",6.583181818181821,8.488791633333333,7.349515151515153,66.65809090909093,66.0,10.521212121212123,38.96969696969697,10.637119530657019,4.852733333333333,675,38,105,19,11,224,105,150,0.067,0.8109999999999999,0.122,0.8971,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,3,4,5,0,0,6,0,15,5,1,1,3,29,24,13,0,3,7,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,6,8,0,1,5,0,0,2,3,1,0,2,6,2,11,4,17,17,5,23,0,1,2,0,6,6,0,8,14,80,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132590126579438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13574787086273676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15283641907509352,0.18010682931962715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16955996348049435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3018757718801917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15703663242524193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14163796482687904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18871884605847766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13495783296768732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12302067729107535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000468960232334,0.16994692977038298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783850879634315,0.3975666060648344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17958769163288898,0.2828074896224378,0.16154275223780273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17757698353096174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255991966891778,0.0,0.0,0.14835516927384482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16337104360128474,0.0,0.206031770943302,0.0,0.11370204654410727,0.0,0.0,0.10347184100706522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14641387043302534,0.1046639187171804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19811528398388986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12605455907281313,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,allblkuniform,2019/06/19,"Has anyone else ever been so stressed/angry that it caused you to orgasm? F26BP2- Single:
Currently I’m in a hyper-sexual state, and have been for a little over a week. Has anyone else’s had this happen to them?

For context- I was at the airport, off to the side of security because my ticket wouldn’t load. I was literally so stressed and hyper sexual that I crossed my legs, standing, in public, and orgasmed...Intensely...like 3 times 

Help",2.7495238095238115,5.388513,4.3452380952380985,80.53309523809527,79.71428571428572,7.066666666666667,24.809523809523807,8.167268648758528,1.9306523809523808,348,13,61,7,9,116,61,84,0.040999999999999995,0.887,0.07200000000000001,0.3278,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,1,5,0,9,2,2,1,1,6,11,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,0,7,1,11,5,1,14,0,0,0,1,4,7,0,0,4,43,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35267876664989395,0.516803572367948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15373466367696367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25907193631417524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4213501972325955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281232318482585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22301365700613976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16903981864486706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25276388881101336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888865143937615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470559114420537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022942121008705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,herbertbadgery,2018/11/02,"Another ECT post Hi. I'm not really active in here, but I don't know where else to ask these kinds of questions. I have bipolar I disorder and I was on lithium for 11 years and it started to harm my kidneys so I had to stop. I've tried literally everything, and I'm currently on depakote and respirdone. It's not working and today my psych threw out the idea of ECT or TMS. Anybody have experience with either? Did it work for you or someone you love? Give me the low down if you have a mo. 

Thanks in advance. And even if you don't have any info, thanks for reading and thinking about me and my situation for a bit. ",0.6790813648293968,3.0202903464566937,2.8568818897637804,89.66023097112861,86.48031496062994,5.906351706036746,24.21469816272965,7.3011,1.1757447769028873,482,20,102,8,15,163,84,127,0.12,0.7809999999999999,0.099,-0.1884,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,4,0,3,5,6,0,0,4,0,9,3,1,0,0,24,20,14,0,2,8,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,10,0,1,5,1,0,2,4,2,0,0,4,0,14,4,17,16,2,16,0,1,0,1,9,8,0,5,5,68,18,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13161743340925294,0.2029491109462816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18093871843693266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21130132769889146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22181966906780995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16168225369490005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278348379556662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17394602579963378,0.1893244309827238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856662771598603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21848907276535004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201547634847806,0.1063674291381055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746821797534624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18536288591598388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21681501849892093,0.0,0.19359766501344688,0.0,0.12399006808582423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175530139640557,0.0,0.0,0.1639902952148619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13699235166231635,0.0,0.0,0.16181252791273773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3563809967965381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401600611700035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18345830322962906,0.0,0.0,0.13140454652315486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28180655087883977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463682042619408
bipolarreddit,_grottesca,2018/11/02,"SSRIs without a mood stabilizer?  

Has anyone here been able to take anti depressants without a mood stabilizer? My psych has prescribed me three in the last month, no mood stabilizer. I haven't actually taken them because I'm afraid it will cause a manic episode (I'm BP1).  I just feel really weird that she keeps prescribing these to me without anything to ""balance it out"".

Last month she prescribed Mirtazapine and Gabapentin. I took the Gabapentin, skipped the Mirtazapine. Told her they weren't working, so she replaced them with a mixture of Paxil, Trazodone and Hydroxyzine. It's worth noting, they weren't prescribed for depression, but to treat OCD and insomnia.  

To be fair, I've never actually taken an SSRI before, so I don't know how I personally respond to them - it's possible I could be just fine without a mood stabilizer.  But I see my psychiatrist through a special program for low income individuals, so if anything goes wrong, I can't schedule an emergency appointment.  I get to see her for free, but only once a month, no exceptions.  I think that's why I'm so hesitant to take them - if I go manic, I'm on my own.  ",5.800571428571431,7.3411788666666675,6.670952380952383,72.1707142857143,67.47619047619048,9.790476190476193,35.42857142857143,10.047579312681364,3.8586571428571435,902,45,155,22,15,299,119,210,0.095,0.792,0.113,0.6921,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,6,1,8,14,0,1,12,0,12,1,0,2,1,25,30,13,0,3,12,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,7,5,0,1,3,0,2,2,12,6,0,1,7,3,27,5,22,19,1,13,0,3,2,0,14,4,0,2,7,101,34,3,0.13656946114936447,0.0,0.26654418740033475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09549254263377062,0.0,0.22477006010739653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08325147592474293,0.0,0.1162105526220031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402944563898504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903960196957327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352541535415117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905362301029118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07135190675390331,0.0,0.07761557201565106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138921205725473,0.0,0.0,0.07505500424772832,0.22264467703979832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32702532282228675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533078767861016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454420189790332,0.0,0.10386722925970443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192471857459428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15396154750730434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748989387319707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176563576566044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20536647701034946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750819627136425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13049797268390012,0.15173369637910078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12323269666647395,0.0,0.0,0.5265923482216051,0.0,0.09942419425116936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14931726673364892,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pastramimami214,2018/11/02,"i just want to say i love this sub so much I really do. When i'm having a hard day it really helps to get on reddit and read what you all are saying. It makes this disease 1000x less lonely. Thank to everyone who is so compassionate, it means so much to me. This is like one of the best support groups i've ever had. That's all <3",0.5903571428571439,2.3921209722222234,2.8436507936507947,92.99500000000002,82.33333333333333,6.336507936507938,15.841269841269842,7.447530270364453,-0.13008968253968245,258,4,61,4,7,88,55,72,0.044000000000000004,0.665,0.292,0.9662,0,2,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,6,7,0,0,2,0,6,1,0,1,3,8,14,5,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,9,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,5,6,6,13,6,4,0,1,0,1,8,1,0,0,4,42,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492003550164009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314250719051534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21479679848620165,0.0,0.22690387548492144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12406341518358932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21271814561531974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15916490209010145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160113036622473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21431755328826171,0.0,0.15850686149799348,0.0,0.0,0.2586643168370161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3491218748954785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609095161917427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375249607404789,0.0,0.3042468105413268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3776765600284758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26946758889365097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21862190917145333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14006047355099258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lilacfields98,2018/11/02,"Can someone please tell me I'm not crazy I've been seeing a psychiatrist and a counselor for the past few months and they put me on Zyprexa. I had to stop it cold turkey (was taking just half a pill for the last few weeks because of the awful weight gain) because I ran out and they took me off of it after. I'm hearing voices, I feel naseous and I feel like I'm dying. I know this is how Zyprexa withdrawals are, but I feel like I'm going completely insane. I haven't slept in days. Has anyone else every has this happen to them? I feel like I'm not really myself at all. ",1.5086776859504134,3.2794701157024804,3.0355371900826467,92.89148760330579,79.24793388429751,5.391735537190083,20.090909090909093,6.1124844417494595,-0.052411570247933525,448,11,99,3,11,147,79,121,0.067,0.833,0.1,0.4269,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,3,1,2,3,0,0,6,1,9,3,1,1,1,17,27,6,1,0,4,0,5,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,5,1,1,5,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,6,9,15,3,12,21,3,16,0,0,1,0,5,5,0,0,10,59,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12338454943851895,0.18080355823671315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21513608421676844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850143747118392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113801746304847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18313704842762327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740922663196146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14867469618859394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3568927971642048,0.3781879962928068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028597122281784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15604250774560902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988826234007421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697749820871453,0.14383800244379022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258627520015226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408482484548989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16845051061554192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19369948492754333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17739048440036825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304444135882374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061533435592033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14951351827632492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14752800046930406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267554479556215,0.0,0.15423333595500768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19605294032411236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14154512590129356,0.21488007010080212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ferris4101,2018/11/02,"My psychiatrist is horrible, like she doesn’t know how to treat bipolar. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder earlier this year and I have to meet with my psychiatrist every month or so to make sure my medicine is working alright and whenever i go i have to try a new medicine because she never gives me medicine for bipolar disorder. she always gives me stuff for social anxiety disorder. i told her it doesn’t work and she keeps giving me stuff for anxiety and that’s it. she sucks so much",4.337234042553192,6.514117351063831,5.186117021276598,78.80875,72.29787234042553,9.380851063829788,33.026595744680854,9.827888789773867,3.608855319148935,397,20,72,11,8,129,57,94,0.17,0.711,0.11800000000000001,-0.6527,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,3,5,1,0,1,1,7,4,0,2,2,13,16,8,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,6,6,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,17,4,9,14,1,5,0,0,0,0,12,0,1,1,5,50,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12974171761695452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23856371006753466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505015929171284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15826013748104048,0.0,0.0,0.5361091337087119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13137315952198972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4487311130946909,0.08861551584111238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385929055812496,0.0,0.0,0.08569205566800635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076176859758833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104080848830895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12445748931739095,0.0,0.11462248618497475,0.0,0.12025862648037365,0.15059290336575235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589454441065699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3569926134529544,0.0,0.0,0.1469570443995752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14899259085884609,0.0,0.1058625352416022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22702986093764035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041029891187386
bipolarreddit,Crystalcastlesiskool,2019/01/06,What does Lamictal feel like? I just started lamictal and am wondering what it feels like at therapeutic doses?,5.878421052631579,9.246137105263164,6.746578947368422,63.61355263157896,72.6842105263158,12.221052631578946,35.8157894736842,11.20814326018867,5.962873684210527,91,5,13,4,2,30,16,19,0.0,0.7490000000000001,0.251,0.6553,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,5,1,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,1,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,8,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34426117644146864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978230013914584,0.5620805835660277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3843842448765677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784458418174002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4266183130180552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,56steelgirl43,2019/01/06,Neurofeedback results... Has anyone on here had any success with neurofeedback and their bipolar symptoms? My husband is starting soon and we were curious what others experiences were! Thanks in advance!,7.818225806451615,12.056808806451617,6.845403225806455,59.78810483870971,73.83870967741936,8.261290322580646,43.233870967741936,8.841846274778883,5.621122580645162,167,11,18,4,4,51,28,31,0.0,0.747,0.253,0.8585,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,1,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,0,5,7,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,2,3,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,17,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32653416377502403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3357481857545557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4697014153201064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3398689811442843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4990836905169769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4420788635667393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bibibirdie5678,2019/01/06,"Tardive Dyskinesia, medication adjustments and the manic aftermath. Hi everyone, 

It’s hard to know where to start. I started medication for bipolar as an adolescent (13 I think) but I have been bipolar since I was a young child, and it feels like there is nothing before it. I am entering my late twenties now (so still young) but as you may know even in my childhood there was a lot of controversy about whether children could be bipolar and very little known about medicating children for being bipolar. I did have a child psychiatrist and I sincerely believe he did the best he could for me. That being said, everything was sort of a stab in the dark. I am sure there are many of you who can relate. 

It turns out that a good psychiatrist is hard to find around here, so the next one I went to missed a medication interaction between a non psychiatric medication I was already on and lamictal. He also happened to miss my signs of tardive dyskinesia even though I brought them to his attention several times. I no longer see him. I am no longer on lamictal. 

I now see a new psychiatrist and she is fantastic. I am in good hands and trust that, but she had to bring me down from a fairly standard dose of Abilify I have been on for the past 14 years to basically almost nothing because of the tardive dyskinesia. I was fine at first, surprisingly fine and stable, but now I have been manic/hypomanic for a couple of weeks when I was pretty well managed before. 

I see my psychiatrist in three days. I plan to talk to her and come up with a plan to deal with this at that appointment. 

It’s just at my last appointment, before the mania started, we talked about my choices and my medication options are now limited based on what did not work for me before and especially now thanks to developing TD and I am just scared. There may be some major changes to my medication. 

I have started this amazing life with this amazing girl. I have a stable job. We are getting married next year. We have a home. We have cats. We have a future. We want kids. I am scared because although she has seen me in bad moments and knows of my past, she has not truly experienced me at my worst. I know she will always love me but I am terrified- terrified of the td getting worse. Terrified of feeling out of control again. 

I don’t really know what I expect from any comments. I suppose I just needed to say this to people who would understand how I feel. Most people I know and talk to don’t get it at all. They have not lived it. I needed to confide in people who struggle with what I struggle with. 

It’s like my life that I worked so hard to build and maintain since I was a child (with consistent therapy, with medication, and with A LOT of everyday effort) is going to be ripped out from under me and it’s not even my doing. I did everything right. It hurts. It’s scary. It’s a lot. 

Sorry this is so long. I hope there are still people willing to read it. 
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bipolarreddit,CarefulShape,2019/01/06,lithium slow thinking im only taking the over the counter lithium at 5mg and i swear my cognitive function has decreased. I dont react as I should and my speed time and overall brain function/awareness has worsen. ,2.658780487804876,5.544505121951222,3.4372682926829263,85.02419512195122,83.14634146341464,4.255609756097561,32.590243902439035,5.6839178017228535,1.8982351219512201,174,10,28,1,5,55,31,41,0.12300000000000001,0.877,0.0,-0.5423,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,1,1,1,0,6,6,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,3,5,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,17,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4683663020244629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4917197099379038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4531954278858624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3190933222095388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31545595221304434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.268836294833436,0.0,0.0,0.2446480710014577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheeMightyCaesar,2019/01/06,"Did I, or didn’t I take my medication? That wonderful feeling (not!) when your reminder pops up to take medicine and you go to your little pill holder thing only to find that day’s pills missing. 

Did I already take them, or are my days goofed up?

How often does this happen to you?",0.4894642857142877,2.9668590178571432,1.8900000000000008,93.98000000000002,92.75,4.228571428571429,19.5,5.985473137389443,-0.019957142857142784,219,7,45,2,8,70,41,56,0.038,0.856,0.105,0.5903,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,4,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,0,9,12,5,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,1,10,0,6,9,0,7,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,4,3,31,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835492904087377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33142132163025456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22485754726281287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299209879868967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23484646549865096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602987301533327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22721889525761305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25753010980433105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25884879248347964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19542107215534787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5795803557315856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17070530522307847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786499147949917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kidwoclaws,2019/01/06,Need help with partner I’m in a relationship now that started while I was manic. During mania I get the usual symptoms where I’m hypersexual and a dick to everyone. Now I’m still with her and she’s getting to know the real me where I actually have a low libido bc of all the meds I’m on. Now she thinks it’s bc I’m no longer attracted to her that I don’t really want to have sex. She also is still really into telling me about how much of a dick I was to her in the beginning. Idk I know I was terrible and I apologize for it all a lot and feel truly terrible but I don’t know what to do. I’m starting to think she’s just better off with someone else who hasn’t hurt her. I need advice from anyone for how to deal with having hurt a partner during a manic phase. By hurt I don’t mean physically but like emotionally and stuff. Thanks.,1.081784313725489,2.898963766666672,3.879411764705885,86.10794117647059,80.77777777777777,7.124183006535947,21.1437908496732,8.124751697461798,1.0277418300653598,658,19,145,13,17,234,94,180,0.15,0.741,0.10800000000000001,-0.8128,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,12,10,0,0,11,0,12,4,2,2,2,29,34,11,0,3,3,0,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,2,7,10,0,0,7,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,3,1,21,4,24,31,4,18,0,4,0,3,16,8,2,1,11,99,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.14502813825059313,0.0,0.0,0.14522619604151388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118848456821498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039160209049357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13143910144911178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15321695100724966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241499064994372,0.1671734122262303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420093096638957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514490173142876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15529183807120636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09961441963136014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4772906912209196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24502700971129246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260645112859307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634832259221454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16188679453008667,0.1650792831105166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925013144115847,0.22039430942340354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691579645072442,0.19041490340382952,0.0,0.0,0.15955836248569427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592216741460724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21038286220463615,0.0,0.23737044896898624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17013018667348734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15446931187585994,0.0,0.0,0.12989725728442822,0.1368259855962845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904547371403307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16367993440203113,0.0,0.08765778512009825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tromperie9,2019/01/06,Experiences with EFT (tapping)? I'm curious what experiences folks might have had with tapping AKA [Emotional Freedom Techniques](https://www.google.com/search?q=eft+tapping&oq=eft+tapping) (EFT). I'm intrigued but skeptical. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. ,11.625595238095233,16.50181608333334,8.049047619047624,46.51500000000002,82.6111111111111,12.057142857142857,49.587301587301596,9.606745405546679,8.588496825396826,233,16,22,9,7,66,29,36,0.079,0.6679999999999999,0.254,0.7615,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,6,8,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,9,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3391743670691233,0.0,0.2128752093492953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3521233580494765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6124185350897473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3451232868254699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33208171935564185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485156115709864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223717876177756,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,newguyhiguys,2019/01/06,"Was misdiagnosed and put on antidepressants, which lead to ""mania"". Not entirely sure of my ""proper"" diagnoses. I just didn't have a manic episode like most of you experience, I think, so I don't know if I believe it. 

After struggling with severe depressive episodes throughout my life that have caused me to drop out of school, lose nearly all the jobs I've worked, ect. ect., (over 10 years of bullshit) I decided to get some proper medical help. 

Within first day I started taking the antidepressants I experienced a pretty significant shift in my mood. Energy, talking, felt good. Felt ""high"", I guess. I didn't get any sleep that night though, and for the next three days I don't know if I got any more than an hour of sleep a night. 

On each of those next days I felt like I was detached from my body a lot, like I was watching myself. I started pacing in my room a lot, and felt compelled to talk or else like... idk I felt like something bad would happen. I had no appetite, my mind was moving way to fast to focus on anything, let alone food. I was totally incapacitated by anxiety, and stayed in my apartment the whole time, where I feel like my roommates were all looking at me funny and put off by how weird I felt I was acting (which is funny because when I asked them about those few days they just told me I was reallly talkative but otherwise they weren't freaked out or anything). Weirdest experience was what felt like a stabbing/lightning sensation in my brain. I reallly don't know how to explain that one. In the end I started praying to God to relieve me of my suffering which was weird because I'm an athiest. 

I didn't take the antidepressants on the fifth day, and most of this stuff ceased shortly after, though I continued to not sleep very much (like 5 hours a night?) for a little while.

I didn't contact my doctor for a few months because I thought everything was fine. I suddenly started cutting and dying my own hair a lot, got multiple piercings and tattoos, jumped fair and doing all kinds of other kinda fun wreck-less shit (never done any of these things before). Drinking a lot and being really social. Started working out, got a dream job, started dating again, felt like my life was getting back in order.

Then I just sorta stopped. Real normal for a while.

Then the depression came back, lost my job, gaining weight, ect. and I went to my doctor to talk about it and of course all this came up, which lead to my diagnosis as BPII. Sure, I thing my experience was a bit out of the ordinary but it just doesn't sound like what you guys talk about when you talk about mania.",4.995597142857143,6.200196394000003,5.439428571428577,81.50900000000003,69.06,8.274285714285716,29.285714285714285,8.591530228387361,2.133791428571429,2047,75,392,32,35,655,252,500,0.096,0.78,0.124,0.935,3,1,2,0,0,0,75.0,0,3,3,8,19,30,2,1,25,0,31,16,7,6,8,77,70,30,1,4,12,0,11,10,0,1,6,1,1,1,21,20,3,1,16,2,0,10,13,12,0,3,37,15,61,17,61,30,20,80,1,5,2,0,18,26,1,14,50,262,82,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06034117177495042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885911584512225,0.0,0.04456976137406319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09588822810426388,0.0,0.05446648299416796,0.0,0.0,0.08959873984506718,0.048645780675193984,0.10654670612724132,0.0,0.04957610445366653,0.06564057283653013,0.0,0.0,0.06360628764908746,0.06471520847899294,0.0,0.06503891740898443,0.0,0.13327089119282326,0.0,0.05985043928735857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878687043513693,0.0,0.10036080395443056,0.05913402805950335,0.06046606686450497,0.0,0.0,0.11926588907554628,0.0,0.059621573029699185,0.0,0.05707392742408113,0.0,0.0,0.04866986898882842,0.0,0.051602249428684965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05236153067714558,0.1709722936513775,0.0,0.0,0.02945868124728393,0.04162190896113044,0.44752014123497935,0.0,0.0,0.049557061307119885,0.07044983686001988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131742778228633,0.0,0.0,0.048866843133320216,0.1397907342642373,0.0,0.06418142832046113,0.05768788092404895,0.05152030562936532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03905134437518448,0.061556298599214236,0.0,0.0,0.11475135713162693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734461536644093,0.0,0.0,0.060670214317778026,0.09605671721892962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05957616178539295,0.0823034070068064,0.2846354511099383,0.05839316290504936,0.0,0.0,0.04892484743290165,0.06517953055995009,0.06359912885915789,0.19812681236450835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05869216503944871,0.0,0.0,0.05882733933928112,0.0,0.046503641300018585,0.06192257821685144,0.04282878444437308,0.0,0.04493473281318039,0.0,0.123923180262915,0.1640229469070738,0.05708373769317863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039479388027964336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059272722447641216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171374659903248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06631415361574826,0.03732370270543383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05896358087185208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06581872448139271,0.05980442255908203,0.0,0.0,0.17491023022019614,0.059390093433061335,0.0,0.04485242163890111,0.0,0.0,0.2474260342928443,0.062098830589904314,0.0,0.04870908435705768,0.0,0.060907396642784724,0.06669528902529692,0.0,0.0,0.10982123641978052,0.0,0.08761054556433533,0.2341412685913997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774124835672303,0.03733151061601351,0.11448293054577452,0.0462529916867389,0.0339726526339636,0.0,0.0,0.05567120178674561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04807170252895845,0.0,0.04624513543216308,0.0,0.07094660964626992,0.0,0.05400884071606015,0.0,0.0650466992638526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482989071483588,0.0,0.0,0.04138718038288036,0.0,0.0,0.03751838920289829
bipolarreddit,GomezTE,2019/08/08,"I am a failure I hate myself for what I am. I try my best to be okay.

But I've done things to the people I love, I've gone behind my closests back and done things I could never talk about.

There are things that I've done just a year ago that may have been forgotten through time. But they will forever stain my conciense.

How can I live with myself? Have I the right to the good in life?",1.5226678141135963,2.9563567228915697,2.682478485370055,96.94939759036146,78.1566265060241,6.1886402753872645,19.08605851979346,6.868970318607317,-0.13152185886402767,300,6,73,3,7,96,55,83,0.10400000000000001,0.737,0.159,0.6868,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,1,5,5,1,0,5,1,14,2,0,1,1,9,17,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,0,14,4,9,8,1,9,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,5,57,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18112785927761155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15711858254006394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144336737715601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16314235823096626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6273072853100609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17138386409432602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20173540218585947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14432563080114932,0.0,0.0,0.18042877000267904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844174752572461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575933219291163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14165797930300505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17449828627342265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642342037346789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4072470118448495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914754685622288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387279156999598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158301424638527
bipolarreddit,sugar-skull-c,2019/08/08,"Quetiapine & nausea I’m curious if anyone has had problems with severe nausea/getting violently sick after missing a dose of quetiapine? 

In the last 3 months, I’ve had at least 3 instances where I’ve experienced SEVERE sickness/nausea the next day (or 2) after missing a dose and/or consuming alcohol. I’m not 100% sure if I missed doses on those nights (more reason I thought it was the booze). The severity and intensity of these symptoms is crippling. 

I didn’t continue to consume alcohol expecting to be sick/knowing it would happen again. I’ve only noticed the correlation now... first time thought was food poisoning, then drinking a few cocktails (never been one to have hangovers but things change), then I had just 1 beer and felt exactly the same. 

However, I missed a dose last night and I feel terrible. Absolutely disgusting. No alcohol involved as I’ve sworn it off completely. Luckily I’ve been able to sit through work today. The only thing I can think now is that it’s related to the quetiapine. 

Any else have reactions like this?! 

(Yes, I’m going to ask my doctor. Yes, I’ve read up on drinking while on my meds. I’m curious if others have had similar experiences.)",4.3474657534246575,6.842272456621008,5.814746575342465,72.87691438356165,73.29223744292237,9.494155251141553,32.41118721461187,9.888512548439397,3.86908200913242,944,47,157,28,20,318,139,219,0.157,0.77,0.073,-0.9276,1,0,6,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,2,5,11,3,0,12,2,18,16,0,1,3,24,34,12,0,6,7,0,2,1,0,1,11,0,0,0,11,4,9,0,6,5,0,1,4,9,0,2,12,3,9,2,20,20,4,30,0,4,0,0,2,8,0,4,21,95,20,3,0.12310999120055563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3947014213629398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338962403099094,0.0,0.0837190156378594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608136829729954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150912231452985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13023404688789686,0.0,0.12907848350818266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939575968889619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260082926107592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412018458267937,0.0,0.0,0.10284260051902888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204251943493467,0.0,0.0,0.06224811059235106,0.0,0.11820489777723832,0.0,0.0,0.10471729562442446,0.14886509003114098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06431988922478646,0.0,0.06996624507013631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886575864166173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765803155941133,0.20070214820019208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06014532317473908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367474470629544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826522043845656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09495001470408623,0.0,0.1309288722941902,0.2310607740844073,0.0,0.0,0.14016154094936026,0.0,0.0,0.08342251614911125,0.18726139171338171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177996352114517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12314330651257313,0.0,0.0,0.12657757489425153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4172377445724561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160297097596234,0.12795841883111175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16357761563972922,0.07888391139774427,0.0,0.19547116298756068,0.07178642589336783,0.0,0.11669387678468965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962553982692313,0.0,0.0,0.08745380555066935,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,klondikebarhoarder,2019/08/08,"Anyone take Vraylar? Hi everyone, yesterday my pdoc told me that she'd like to try Vraylar on me if I need to try something different in the future(probably because she'd get a kickback but I don't care, she's done a lot for me).  Has anyone here tried it or currently take it?  Just looking for opinions, thank you!",3.6859677419354817,5.427365338709676,4.852451612903226,82.35867741935486,73.03225806451613,8.185806451612903,31.754838709677426,8.841846274778883,2.7374735483870967,249,12,48,5,5,82,48,62,0.057,0.8490000000000001,0.094,0.2982,2,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,0,0,7,13,3,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,10,3,6,9,1,4,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,4,3,31,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326689753710065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14501228279271902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425392684338936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485388419971203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434386023647977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22730899012314035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428491825598455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11621843047844642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19976320440327425,0.0,0.0,0.20224103391646034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763884636242885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831352358149244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35771932340623164,0.0,0.0,0.21901223717026536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22730899012314035,0.0,0.4845242136994874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,420crumbs,2019/08/08,"Anyone have experience with Seroquel? Hello reddit community! I didn't know where else to go with this question so here I am.   


Yesterday my partner got prescribed a dose of 50mg of Seroquel, their appointment with the psychiatrist lasted 15 minutes max and they came out with a prescription for it. I've been reading Seroquel is an anti-psychotic drug and it's side effects, is it normal to prescribe anti-psychotic drugs to patients who haven't been tested yet? My partner hasn't been tested yet for any mood disorder but they sometimes think they might be bipolar, we know for a fact there's depression and anxiety but I don't want them to self-diagnose. I guess we're just really confused as to why any doctor would ever prescribe anti-psychotic drugs to patients without a diagnosis? Isn't that dangerous? Maybe I'm just bias...  


Anyway, we would really appreciate any feedback! If you ever got prescribed any drugs without a diagnosis or any personal experience you got with this particular pill. Thank you to everyone in advance!",5.960552584670233,8.238049689839574,6.751144385026738,68.86475579322642,68.14438502673795,9.906452762923351,35.461319073083786,10.203070172399654,4.333490837789661,840,43,128,23,15,277,114,187,0.086,0.856,0.057999999999999996,-0.6044,0,0,4,0,0,0,22.0,2,3,5,2,11,5,1,1,7,0,16,8,0,1,3,35,28,9,0,5,8,0,0,0,2,3,8,0,0,3,7,12,0,0,5,1,0,3,7,3,0,0,8,0,16,1,22,16,0,13,0,1,0,0,16,4,0,6,6,86,23,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3914503238458767,0.0,0.08807156640645564,0.0,0.0,0.0804992252723904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316742089465917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915840849914907,0.11685111875322952,0.0,0.0,0.1319451064236829,0.11783699694491273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5340414200974014,0.0,0.09617353709094643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20827727855415215,0.0,0.1100084405644098,0.0,0.2252318948955083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06542912403427566,0.0,0.27623187910816466,0.0,0.12682497621977626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12654118380593654,0.09384357939583766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11566018647612684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12213117439312747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279966596139646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052414360015656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12896818758370598,0.0,0.11515779741681477,0.0,0.14750615035912412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12010219632813356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11386319322532215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10599314467312326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376850391182165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790467658222682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10388388806363626,0.0,0.0,0.22195595015613734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163565327392037,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mam-meam,2019/08/08,"Psychiatric Meds Due Diligence  

\*DISCLAIMER\*

If you read this, and suddenly believe you can fly medicine-free... Then that's probably not good. Take your meds. These are opinions and advice from my personal perspective after many years of experience.

Research the psychiatric medicines you are prescribed. Do not trust your psychiatrist or health provider to do what is best for you. I made this mistake and ended up on 120mg Latuda and 300mg Seroquel. I came to ask myself if these drugs undeniable made a qualitative difference in my life. Was I less depressed? Did I really need antipsychotics?

I started a low dose of ketamine. I realized this actually made a qualitative difference in my life: I was getting out, not in bed, finding moments of contentment. I did a web search to see if people ever made comments about such differences on Latuda - no, don't exist - strange, huh?

I went through withdrawal of Latuda. It was fierce. This in an unnatural lab beast of a serotonin wrecking kind. Not addictive my ass - I wanted to take the med to stop the withdrawal, so what is that? I read that Seroquel is the only ""non-addictive"" medication that prisoners threaten suicide when removed - what is that if NOT addictive?

Don't take these drugs IF you and your providers establish that you are self aware - do they depend on reports of your symptoms to exact treatment? Then they implicitly indicate you are self aware. If you don't really feel less depressed, or moods stabilizing, then don't take drugs like antipsychotics to make stuff stay the same. Antipsychotics are linked to HUGE decreases in life spans. The type 2 antipsychotics I'm hearing, 20 years reduction in lifespan when taken for life. Research for yourself. I'm not psychotic, not confused about reality, not a danger to self or danger to my family or society because I am not in touch with reality, so why the fuck should I be on drugs that are meant for such serious mental illness? Answer: I really shouldn't.

This is not an attempt at pill shaming. I do take the psychiatric drugs that work for me and that I believe are not damaging and have a qualitative positive impact on my life. It's my opinion, experience- and knowledge-based, and the research is definitely out there. And it's not the easiest to find - this is big pharma. Finding the damaging research is equivalent to finding research on automobiles that you know exists - Think: this model of sedan is very safe on the government safety standards metrics - so of course, we take that 4 star safety award and that's what's advertised.. Also data fact: this 32-40 degree impact angle at point X and Z is 90% more likely to be fatal when impacted >40 mph. NOT ADVERTISED - people seriously die from it.See the parallel?",4.670530114484818,7.568413849593497,5.258438692550193,75.2460104529617,74.12195121951221,8.894375311100049,31.585531773685087,9.450634623807732,3.598478961340634,2202,106,355,60,49,706,243,492,0.10400000000000001,0.797,0.099,-0.4952,0,0,5,0,0,1,79.0,1,13,2,4,13,23,3,2,22,1,37,20,1,6,4,73,65,32,3,11,23,0,2,2,0,2,18,1,1,4,31,17,0,2,11,2,0,3,19,14,0,0,13,4,41,8,52,48,5,44,0,5,1,2,23,24,2,14,18,238,72,12,0.0,0.0,0.07025176779916498,0.2354388850634392,0.0,0.07034770718104229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575703052705968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730084822205781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043884381142542735,0.0,0.0,0.16221595325526228,0.07554896945229811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823372790707541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400960853492335,0.0,0.07471416116712702,0.2256424020271088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4174272034143834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376169280268303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.065118995381116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14083989213991205,0.06786568050813348,0.0,0.03640026171063265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631898952871301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06655351205733183,0.03761175686622074,0.0,0.0,0.06038172123503625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652190826610737,0.08113786099362941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496641348841461,0.039563772010960216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542430132544279,0.07034126765929823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724743751374558,0.04805382414685335,0.0729864697973696,0.0,0.0,0.2398936841930783,0.07252226092084663,0.07254889739108063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05337960631859294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054751570785041434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981747887636483,0.06285881290778693,0.0,0.0,0.06805373444416526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07761729928940747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14401878361657813,0.0,0.13835573986662086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057366637956872475,0.0,0.22530353062742275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05095482905181462,0.07673166583467363,0.0,0.06018678851911111,0.0,0.0,0.08241122387686407,0.0787452774506269,0.0,0.0,0.07482508126284472,0.3247647198172329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04612822770542183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059399215404155326,0.042461514298733384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06673536809913104,0.06495969674608021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05240951210585994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09271828392337056
bipolarreddit,Itsjustmeeeeee,2019/08/08,"My friend told me he has bipolar 2 From what I've been reading, telling someone you have bipolar seems to be significant? And if I read my friend correctly, I think this is a very big thing for him too.

So after that, I think my dumb self did/said something wrong... Few things happened and after a shaky week and my desperate attempts to repair my stupid mistake, he's finally talking to me again 😭

He is very important to me, and I really want to do this right. I've been googling & reading about bipolar (the do's & don't etc), but I'll much appreciate any tips I can get.

He is getting professional treatment and from what I understand, has solid support system.",6.946913849509272,6.362022099236647,7.111624863685937,77.40793893129772,64.64885496183207,10.233805888767725,37.034896401308615,9.606745405546679,3.3885323882224654,529,24,103,9,7,171,86,131,0.07200000000000001,0.792,0.13699999999999998,0.807,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,1,4,8,2,1,3,0,13,3,0,0,1,15,23,8,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,5,0,0,3,0,16,3,11,19,3,8,0,0,0,0,12,2,1,3,5,63,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34395382830070803,0.0,0.10793746567393578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17701872937654028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17387390487338267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24525886202015304,0.0,0.1658530211435547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14035872253062476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11668008174092336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4762995474231906,0.0,0.1016823787796317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13554905551481772,0.15098245570268773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14449597047630947,0.1655832924874046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448595981638672,0.122193153296297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801176182847541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12757598756346358,0.13873139004900878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108977648460677,0.2034073003330769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15166716635466726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16523682672576287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619271246322353,0.09361926981799612,0.0,0.12731846814670966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17353929925158534,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,niconiconiicaps,2019/08/08,"Getting a job as a mental healthcare tech, as someone with a history of inpatient and IOP. Hi everyone! I’m thinking about applying to work as a MHT in an inpatient program. I was in inpatient twice in 2016/17 and credit the social worker and some of the techs there with starting my recovery! It’s now been two years since I’ve finished IOP (after inpatient) and graduated with my bachelors in a STEM major.

I want to become a tech in an inpatient program. Has anyone else done this? I’m completely mentally stable now, use DBT, etc... but I’m not sure if my past hospitalizations will be a problem? Do I have to tell them this? Will they be able to see my past if I’m applying to work in the same hospital as the one I attended? Does anyone else here work in mental healthcare?",3.4730617408906888,5.458891559210528,5.2726315789473714,78.0857287449393,74.19736842105263,9.150607287449391,30.113360323886642,9.661875296680813,3.1808091093117405,615,28,114,17,13,210,89,152,0.053,0.914,0.033,-0.7048,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,4,5,3,0,0,13,0,10,0,0,1,1,18,20,11,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,3,3,1,10,2,23,13,4,16,0,0,1,0,5,7,0,3,8,77,13,9,0.1498621823109553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095742446822329,0.3071030313418642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16551100628875814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15712764690570133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13114540564374216,0.15336104354246735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25038124685116364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16713594755555214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14319973740085093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829680492400112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14871509182954526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4530774954239658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10155049319766582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861208205503856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433978691417771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942075657967965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239675458406835,0.0,0.0,0.1527656222763849,0.1269777407509093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060732239761134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14124333328199795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309861527828415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602563525515584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14639357629103394,0.0,0.0,0.12943280881922614,0.0,0.0,0.08839259792225893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3273043607170573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650633198360536
bipolarreddit,majortomtoicarus,2019/08/08,"How do you not spiral when a loved one hurts you? I’ve had self esteem issues for my whole entire life (another rabbit hole for another day). But I’ve worked really hard to get past them as an adult and bipolar has honestly helped me come to terms with it all a lot faster than before I developed it.
I’ve been in a relationship with a perfect weirdo for a while now. We live together. We do similar work and have similar passions. This person has made me feel things I didn’t know I was capable of feeling (mushy sentiments etc etc). I truly love them and I know they truly love me. This person is likely also bipolar but hasn’t sought help and doesn’t want to. They respect my choices to have done so and to take meds to help me live a normal life, and I respect their choice not to.
But  for the past several months, SO has been very depressed. They have longer swings and I have rapid cycling mixed states. It keeps things interesting for sure, but there were never two people more understanding of one another than us. We always know how to help the other. But this was a long, cold, silent depression that crept in and grabbed hold of them. They slipped away from me slowly and unintentionally. They started drinking a lot and doing drugs (nothing too serious) whenever they were around. They wanted to spend all their time drinking and laying around doing nothing. I tried to be patient and loving and understanding, but it started to really take a toll on me. I’ve fought tooth and nail to be healthy and good and they were draining me but I was happy to be needed. 
It came to a head when they started hiding things from me. They stopped sharing a lot of their thoughts with me and I knew they were drinking and doing drugs behind my back. I always caught them and we’d have a whole scene where I broke down crying and they would cry too because they couldn’t feel anything but they knew they were breaking my heart. 
One night, I woke up to see them next to me watching porn right here on reddit. Right next to me in our bed. After I’ve been dying to have sex for like months and kept getting shot down because they were depressed and claimed to have no sex drive. Which I get. I’ve been there. And porn is an easy dopamine dispenser. But it hurt me a lot to see them seeking pleasure from other people, fake as they might be, on the internet while I was right there next to them. 
I had that “you have exactly 30 seconds to make it to a toilet” feeling and ran for the bathroom to throw up because I couldn’t believe this was real. They freaked out of course and the whole situation seemed to break the spell. They laid out a plan to get their life back on track and told me they know they had broken my heart, and it would take time for them to prove that they were serious and they would gain back my trust.
Some time has passed and they’re still right on schedule at being better. It’s honestly amazing how things have improved. They are happy again! They want to go out and do things again! They want to have sex again!
But suddenly, I cannot. For the first time in my whole entire life, I had to turn down sex. And from the person I love with my whole entire heart. Because all I could see were those other people on their screen from that one night and how my body doesn’t look like that.
I don’t know where to go from here. I have no idea how to start healing my heart and my self image after this. But I’m spiraling out and I can feel myself start to put up walls and push everyone away. I need some advice and inspiration from the people who get it.",3.866980379813242,5.355609444759207,3.999823733081524,89.67218025390831,72.11614730878188,6.929346343510653,23.98058965481062,7.3871296695380915,0.8428690378764032,2812,77,584,30,54,867,281,706,0.083,0.752,0.165,0.9966,0,0,5,0,0,0,64.0,6,3,39,7,30,36,1,0,26,0,66,31,7,7,8,122,125,61,1,13,13,0,7,3,0,4,9,0,1,6,31,51,3,4,19,3,1,11,13,11,0,7,34,14,98,25,90,78,18,87,0,6,6,12,68,32,0,8,44,415,129,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05143609077778608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0420936455026536,0.08759610087193355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16558288406869304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04331561746548312,0.09371585794112056,0.0,0.0,0.09890804915610148,0.12142339525655572,0.0,0.1283476663349213,0.0,0.044790056473019,0.05930367052169753,0.0,0.046552989324009766,0.0,0.0584676402952616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06020249885017595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045341959179743166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042026217239483236,0.0,0.11563814907791063,0.03394639401437848,0.0,0.13600804640664182,0.0,0.054628708314378716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05386574141794944,0.0,0.15469213206439336,0.12208399897204145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740793521893753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05029673669256515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13307378738477396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044772851740645464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750282830854627,0.0,0.05982943502685775,0.044149266823599716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206574617944684,0.047152251308530235,0.0,0.05402056248572687,0.0,0.0,0.2494995379720931,0.1411254021821366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269760777875873,0.05942056219133859,0.0,0.05493916403814656,0.0,0.04678602364920068,0.0,0.0,0.14463909700924746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487157689528424,0.0771470735948143,0.0,0.0929585518636454,0.046581928835388926,0.04420167142219737,0.0,0.0,0.1789997663676711,0.23753392319319014,0.049806231275322785,0.03513548571919066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584676402952616,0.0,0.0,0.05583934731633877,0.0,0.0,0.08402841421215397,0.0,0.0,0.07805906933738815,0.0405967601222754,0.0,0.16793956393284867,0.09879217868902827,0.05157290721295026,0.10101289578384484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14267228446280028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004956003040681,0.14596697207149473,0.13788132135940187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052914541941434905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059912224208454365,0.06744098877397439,0.0,0.0,0.056512245317112235,0.0,0.1798062248545434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258341905858699,0.047918583533026866,0.10982336471496564,0.05946462351149151,0.0,0.0,0.059165990466020335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862830586596579,0.0,0.04203583201216147,0.04400673798685906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049609579407110416,0.0,0.11872901249611095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17484781977643193,0.0,0.0,0.04178775505911896,0.12277181087800865,0.0,0.0,0.05029673669256515,0.0,0.03573694523977152,0.05725374452607925,0.05141852418054317,0.10959357078388454,0.06331561280620612,0.0,0.0,0.04343088862575968,0.1241862395549678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29383564577308874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07664046293247077,0.0,0.0,0.11217505895450428,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,onlyflesh,2019/08/08,"Recent onset of difficulties w/ employment??? I’ve been very fortunate to have never struggled with the urge to randomly quit any job I’ve ever had. I’ve had steady employment since I turned 18, and have had a few different jobs in that time. My husband and I recently moved to a different state. I got a job, not entirely what I was hoping for, but I was okay with it for the time being, and figured I’d just keep my options open. 
I no-call, no-showed. 
Got another job. Did a day. No-call, no/showed again. 
I’ve been in one of the worst episodes of my entire life and more than anything am grateful my husband is so understanding and supportive. He says I don’t have to work if I feel like I can’t (makes enough money to support us on his own), but I’ve never once struggled so much with holding a job. I know I’d do it again, too, despite how fucking horrible it makes me feel. 
I’m new to reddit and I guess this is my first official post anywhere, so my apologies if this is.... idk weird or i’m not supposed to post this here. I guess but more than anything I just wanted to know that maybe i’m not the only one out there that experiences this among other things. 
umm... thanks for reading?",2.3428747795414457,4.097010189300413,3.782116402116405,88.55666666666669,76.7366255144033,7.097707231040566,25.151675485008816,7.957251820313856,1.3511008818342152,928,33,198,15,21,306,133,243,0.046,0.8140000000000001,0.14,0.9704,12,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,1,0,0,3,12,11,1,2,9,1,19,2,0,3,3,42,41,16,0,4,11,2,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,13,11,0,2,6,1,1,1,7,5,1,3,10,3,22,6,24,30,7,22,0,0,0,1,7,6,1,8,13,126,35,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07146583796491668,0.11019762277928756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17296273467249207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777533698642994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21959654353507915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085876338408881,0.0,0.0,0.0950612972719453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279967293800904,0.0,0.0,0.10627486124438912,0.07507740354090976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08939079400540773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715541766494604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16810257913986812,0.0,0.23154031682435175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437959274142727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5214355931088394,0.09341017245415112,0.0,0.0,0.11551110302982392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422924914871469,0.0513424087419592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402988125213772,0.0,0.10557855802093234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169565522383093,0.07725435985888296,0.0,0.162106119234877,0.10149804576771476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191903995969196,0.14242546872569672,0.07992683726217492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20129725411663804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177776846552756,0.10511996017439844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075303971386647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357299549746076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08693279208780583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197289509545074,0.0,0.0,0.2385132250899843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967541529686384,0.0,0.0,0.06981813680516906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12255942193988033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430939696706502,0.0,0.1094039795254514,0.12641216008467127,0.0,0.0,0.08671151083040482,0.06198570186387409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650787886106644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,JestForLaughs,2019/08/08,"Mania gives me a false sense of security. I can be so depressed I want to die one day and then a few days later, I’ll be so manic that I couldn’t imagine ever having those thoughts. I cycle so quickly between mania and depression (close to once a week/every two weeks) and so many external factors affect that rapid cycling. I never feel like I truly know how I feel because it’s so heavily influenced one way or another. I don’t know if my meds are helping because I’ve always felt like this despite having taken a wide range of medications. I’m exhausted and want to know if I’m truly happy or depressed so I can finally take care of this shit the way I’m trying to.",4.4366585563665835,5.045293525547447,6.280973236009732,77.14356853203573,69.94890510948906,8.716626115166262,30.55068937550689,8.841846274778883,2.5425643146796424,531,21,100,9,9,185,87,137,0.215,0.6829999999999999,0.10099999999999999,-0.9556,0,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,0,0,9,10,1,0,5,0,9,3,1,3,2,25,25,16,1,5,4,0,3,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,6,5,0,1,8,0,0,0,3,5,0,3,3,4,11,5,8,19,1,13,0,3,0,0,2,2,1,4,11,62,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282614523221718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16163505741269174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879314024530182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716166930446826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19882226510289444,0.0,0.39829602884085896,0.0,0.1599787524134315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13943348190959198,0.12987428057789793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558812510245127,0.11012161719709676,0.14800390861184384,0.16885892384894638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14787046480966415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16409081246159865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332051805533682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541431017176836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15061546656653044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15627940137245575,0.0,0.0,0.1712209649396248,0.1552854324144256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888655684504865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415998814865818,0.20890603838719535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582281998140669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158982757142923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237435456178135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465471527579512,0.0,0.15057781161518038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818380873714535,0.24470713758200704,0.2472925368876429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kfairbanks96,2019/06/03,"Does this cycle ever stop I just don’t even know who I am anymore. I get so stressed with the incessant movement of my life, my moods, my brain I feel like I can’t find even footing. I’ve never been more suicidal in my life than I have been this year. It’s so frustrating because my life is SIGNIFICANTLY better than it was a few years ago. I’m almost done with college, I live with an amazing guy who’s kind and supportive and knows exactly all the right things to do to help with this fucking illness, I have a good job, and people who care about me. The sheer pressure of existing is getting to me in a way that it never has before. I’m just so tired.",3.92658496732026,4.463592279411767,5.053333333333335,85.74722222222225,71.05882352941177,8.103267973856209,28.346405228758172,8.167268648758528,1.6952542483660125,514,18,111,7,9,170,87,136,0.121,0.693,0.18600000000000005,0.8651,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,9,12,2,2,7,0,13,8,2,0,5,20,23,6,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,1,11,7,0,1,4,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,4,1,15,7,14,19,3,12,0,0,0,1,5,3,1,1,8,76,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439612845064729,0.0,0.16262407607900992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16106105871124232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899992797366892,0.0,0.1381937822911227,0.0,0.0,0.1436330779247517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18129649539664008,0.0,0.0,0.16558162966142487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14212077302464393,0.1661956051996974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21453252738029735,0.1469036519281909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211630638860437,0.11602139960171867,0.0,0.0,0.14843424926165905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501398157733891,0.16969870025621842,0.0,0.0,0.13621671076499955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16080542319949534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885593053814012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16116084057615174,0.0,0.0,0.16911870106338486,0.17850590471946548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34413209453597216,0.07934235655765247,0.0,0.1434056450239252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505118444511089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259043607309215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13869206833388134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13577695693154304,0.1860331524036903,0.0,0.0,0.1776435395216545,0.1842940544912484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078939543414826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18665942624370005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289086798642805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20916561180254165
bipolarreddit,wickerocker,2019/06/03,"Did any of you watch Dave Letterman’s interview with Kanye West, in which they discuss BiPolar disorder, on Netflix? Feel free to let me know if this is not appropriate here (or if I need to fix my flair), but I would love to hear some opinions from those with diagnosed bipolar disorder and others who are familiar with it. My husband (diagnosed with rapid-cycling BP I) and I watched it together and had some interesting discussions about it.

What do you think about Kanye’s general demeanor during the interview, especially when discussing mental health?

Is his description of a manic cycle a good way to help others understand what it can be like?

How about the discussion of medication vs. no medication - do you think that behavioral medication hinders creative ability, or does it improve it? Or neither?

Can “alternative” therapies be as effective as prescribed medication?

My husband and I agreed that it was really fantastic that Kanye and Dave spent time really talking about bipolar disorder openly, but it also seemed like Kanye was having a hard time staying focused during the interview. We also learned that one reason he stopped taking his meds was due to weight gain, which my husband thinks is valid but I disagree. Thanks for your time in advance, and sorry if you are unable to view the episode I am referring to. I don’t know how to watch it besides on Netflix.",8.152748299319725,9.123052383673473,7.926122448979592,67.32768707482994,61.89795918367346,11.7578231292517,40.00680272108843,11.4731,5.131361904761904,1114,58,174,32,15,356,145,245,0.071,0.7170000000000001,0.21100000000000002,0.993,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,1,5,1,3,10,7,0,0,7,0,21,12,0,4,0,44,35,22,0,5,11,3,3,2,0,1,10,1,0,0,22,12,1,1,12,2,2,1,4,0,0,1,6,8,22,8,27,25,3,15,0,0,4,1,25,6,0,10,8,126,44,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19353245439867636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228633547593556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24563143195284165,0.0,0.0,0.4160405023395239,0.0,0.10589072874265996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061182861168627874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149175565863816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083951130532016,0.0,0.0,0.12862075902152498,0.13637941738321566,0.0,0.08110590427653573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13300040474965874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12373398540409812,0.0,0.11823211733576673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921012568423603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13440729347767708,0.4875920351154032,0.12194278031025638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972235058608098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199490997106447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15503551579629804,0.1244114579241254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11015678223771404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354531923469338,0.0,0.12897332704146613,0.0,0.10116410578099493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909793585322949,0.09725780057717154,0.0,0.11140350294046464,0.13837772171721874,0.0,0.0,0.23260192254315185,0.0,0.0,0.2116738429856348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12596861406778825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604671971293,0.0,0.14734931723302375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595721207853434,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheRadiantSoap,2019/06/03,"Exercise **Rant and then how exercise can be helpful at the end**

I herniated a disc because I forgot to put my lifting belt on and then proceeded to deadlift as if it were on (kept going after core started to get tired)

2-6 WEEKS of no lifting because I'm fucking dumb

I also have to go back to a normal diet so that I don't get fatter.  3,000- 4,000 calories a day to 1,500-2,000

I'm hungry all the time

**Exercise has positively affected my mental health by giving me:**

-feelings of accomplishment

-a sense of progress that made me feel less ""stuck""

-pleasure from the neurotransmitters released

-a sense of structure from the routine

-confidence from strength and size gainz

-a way to vent feelings

-an addiction that's more beneficial than drugs

If you don't exercise, you should imo.  I always dismissed it when psychiatrists and therapists told me to do it.  It really is helpful.  You can do any kind of exercise, there has to be something you enjoy.  It's just a pain in the ass to find it 

Have a good day🤗",1.5783578792341686,4.3272177268041245,3.2306995581737863,84.24064432989691,90.8041237113402,6.27658321060383,25.485272459499264,7.5804360353943165,1.908096318114875,805,36,147,17,28,265,124,194,0.069,0.77,0.162,0.9597,0,0,2,0,0,0,34.0,0,4,0,3,7,8,2,0,14,0,15,13,1,3,1,19,32,13,0,4,3,0,3,0,0,1,10,0,0,0,9,4,1,2,4,5,0,3,3,3,0,0,6,3,14,5,26,23,3,19,0,0,0,2,8,4,3,2,11,97,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909990064359248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011115161287854,0.14578436273939235,0.0,0.0,0.11914521790528015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347216152540116,0.0,0.21360634274213267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259851006803039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20318185185932502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15517937876791632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657663128577349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16013394035443185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16197394080862926,0.183074470213076,0.16807233264524765,0.19914576040776705,0.14695340694900974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18623442485470448,0.0,0.0,0.2348720618688549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824487550791846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165782942725712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765651495841633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17166342651826313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864301753684684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761291358814487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11224063026849368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13488115350049565,0.0,0.0,0.12401080288058546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20342618429970644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216328143063733,0.20137205245677714,0.0,0.1674156185859639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13906935195371584,0.1405386585278074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bubu8979,2019/06/03,"Anybody using Lamotrigine for Rapid Cycling Bi-Polar? Anybody using Lamotrigine for Rapid Cycling Bi-Polar? Did it help? were you able to drive on it? Thanks in advance, I live in the Detroit Michigan area 48089",3.910540540540541,7.2164465405405425,4.517621621621622,75.85372972972975,83.5945945945946,5.122162162162162,31.72432432432432,6.742157984588678,2.44200972972973,170,9,24,2,5,54,27,37,0.0,0.83,0.17,0.7622,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,6,3,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,13,4,0,0.4062093093063328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722735375032841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35869026221703065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3739829560673929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7016688408145914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kkrissie,2019/06/03,Anyone keep quitting jobs because of anxiety? I keep feeling like a failure after continuously quitting jobs. My anxiety gets really high and I just quit on the spot. Wondering if anyone experiences this.,5.954411764705885,9.598784147058828,7.507352941176473,56.37808823529414,75.17647058823529,10.458823529411768,37.911764705882355,10.125756701596842,5.852082352941176,167,10,20,6,4,57,28,34,0.183,0.708,0.109,-0.4019,2,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,5,2,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,3,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,3,12,4,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950697357673493,0.0,0.0,0.26969981459146025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756367042963305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18865088479999367,0.0,0.0,0.09751415560359104,0.13777688393055226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075967971696592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20376372009315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3827610854968823,0.3428398394501136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09422005498766832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6153806034394667,0.0,0.0,0.12354895736058835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20914489314833948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,smell_smells_smelly,2019/06/03,"Feeling like I'm going to explode I am at work and then I have class. I don't feel like I can get through the day with how uncomfortable and irritable I feel. I also somehow just want to break down in tears. Life goes on so you can't stop. A break would be nice. I had 4 days of just walking my dog twice a day and doing nothing else. I should have felt better after that but right now, I am just looking forward to doing that all over again on Thursday. 

I am thinking of going to support group tonight, I haven't gone in a while but the thought exhausts me. The interactions. I have my first therapy appointment with a therapist that I will probably only see once because the therapist I do want seems to have an opening for me every other friday available which is better than none because she's great.

Idk. I just really need to alleviate this anxiety. It is SO overpowering. I literally want to cry it is so uncomfortable. I didn't bring the Xanax my friend gave me. Just breathing now. It is so shallow and heavy. I am trying to work on my future right now but my present state is getting in the way of that. I NEED RELIEF. 

I really just want to scream and throw everything off my desk right now. How do I find comfort? My coping skills are not working right now.",1.5114365544500463,4.001805399209488,3.110437508518469,88.3009486166008,83.9407114624506,6.0192994411884975,23.743900776884285,7.372421405659032,1.1575493798555272,998,38,201,16,29,328,142,253,0.106,0.7559999999999999,0.138,0.6675,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,7,20,12,0,0,11,0,28,4,1,2,1,39,52,17,0,8,10,0,4,2,1,3,3,1,0,0,10,8,0,1,8,0,0,7,6,2,0,2,6,7,33,10,28,42,2,44,0,0,2,0,6,16,0,2,21,145,43,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654407351740897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235461467409203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14718618910834624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21354364394355085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261120333817494,0.2335737226063125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085059596746088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10171637188855503,0.0,0.10850022168275686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18312719688351667,0.17249252612522595,0.11591533398556506,0.0,0.11034084533774983,0.10268897926078732,0.0,0.0,0.09327215882196316,0.0,0.12614809676424998,0.0,0.13722207484675725,0.0,0.0,0.13310020003906636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527193332587525,0.11796068275627945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013789460242392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17903273614860102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158392949851196,0.0,0.0,0.1285686305976068,0.0,0.0918171208267742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301624199072379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15467958881990584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4123953908945823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620252813186912,0.10990388682707487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009318555504261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13699777419589315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138060037321886,0.28034303146205297,0.0,0.07735597346388468,0.0,0.09584249708903764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196463450281631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28482791875770314,0.09582621785976284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636686273927357,0.0,0.0,0.0857598734852638,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,quitter92,2019/06/03,Has anyone with long term psychosis successfully gotten off antipsychotics? Have any of you quit your antipsychotic after being on one long term? Did you continue with a mood stabilizer or nothing at all? Thanks,6.360428571428571,10.049051828571432,6.028214285714286,67.42803571428573,73.57142857142857,9.214285714285714,28.75,9.516144504307137,3.7040000000000006,174,7,24,5,4,54,31,35,0.063,0.8390000000000001,0.098,0.3257,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,3,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,4,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,3,2,7,3,3,9,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,6,18,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492653457144952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562990243580913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6487672454292417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3517128840998588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483825469022555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38986913038691895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3374683355826641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DavidJ7428,2019/06/03,"Emotional roller coaster trying to reconcile with wife diagnosed with bipolar My wife was diagnosed as bipolar about 6 weeks ago. It explained a lot of her moods that led to our being separated in December. Right around her diagnosis she had an affair with her ex. After some discussion and after she was put on medicine we decided we would try and reconcile. We are living separate still but things were going ok. She seemed to be back to her old self and the medicine appeared to be working. She went on vacation with her daughter this last week while I stayed home and when they returned she just wanted to be alone. She has said sometimes she just feels like she wants to be alone (especially when she is tired), doesn’t feel affectionate even though she says she still loves and cares about me. She says it is a phase she goes in and out of and that sometimes she just isn’t into it (a relationship). I am taking things one day at a time, not wanting to get upset about a few bad days. But I’m also curious if any other bipolar SO have had this happen? Is it common? I love her and I’m trying to be supportive and trying to work through everything, however I sometimes feel like I’m on a roller coaster with my emotions. Just when I think things are going well and we might be figuring things out we crash back down.",3.7780427807486627,5.880777337254906,4.339866310160429,84.59258021390376,73.66666666666666,7.77361853832442,26.492869875222816,8.575989854853784,1.9230784313725489,1051,38,202,20,22,333,143,255,0.06,0.8029999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.9697,1,2,0,0,0,0,21.0,6,0,1,2,20,12,0,1,8,1,24,8,0,1,0,51,48,21,0,5,8,4,3,2,0,2,6,3,1,1,13,24,0,0,10,2,0,6,3,2,1,1,7,6,35,9,35,32,3,39,0,0,0,2,41,12,0,6,22,150,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934480598277483,0.0,0.0,0.21836569709504894,0.0,0.08430396648918774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716889008619815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09384573910182772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16212223519686614,0.08802091089223238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748224488286763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359737617991066,0.0,0.0,0.2139972241078052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23716558244202615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06962861064472749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474428330562594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15990985781787018,0.15062347808924995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05507735759860216,0.0,0.11982470573268082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322214934162652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574439204492676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859309936666509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10300532268647096,0.0,0.09308738347100573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962392140923786,0.19029049788202934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111833470556452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062007170531916,0.0,0.07143500725976286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059757528090607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318113170174934,0.0,0.09002770948960212,0.10027812151404036,0.16766769577087895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596998815707172,0.10997556933001497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3127878560973916,0.0,0.0,0.11236320104228656,0.16837635852066954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962884249773514,0.0,0.0,0.07926237298798856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801442272460933,0.0675485833261622,0.10357416088698697,0.0,0.06147098039669704,0.12116425114455112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2862917856548879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865375245985808,0.0,0.1691223892256503,0.0,0.09478482508184716,0.0977249679227631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15349335847776696,0.0,0.0,0.07488701519430868,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,receiverrgirl,2019/06/03,"i need advice on what to expect i was just diagnosed with bipolar II a little over a week ago. i’m a 24 year old woman whose been dealing with ptsd and major depression for the past five years, i’ve been in treatment and i’m currently transitioning off antidepressants so i can start lamictal. basically i’m just curious as to what i should expect when it comes to treating bipolar besides (but along with) medication. what are some things that helped you understand and accept your diagnosis?",8.373296703296703,8.419020175824176,8.494813186813193,66.57518681318686,61.52747252747253,12.115164835164835,36.88131868131868,11.602472056035307,4.5224356043956035,400,17,67,11,5,131,68,91,0.043,0.9,0.057,0.0516,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,0,6,4,0,0,0,18,13,7,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,7,8,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,3,0,6,2,13,9,2,15,0,1,0,0,6,5,0,1,9,46,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439681576740483,0.22131151549832564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21506288831715087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25739197390385593,0.21503469651316734,0.2534030672602053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167344095608518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502282877174362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515095814236235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851222269035457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.261979711069059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383319386231389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29184312155244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17671301974881365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658652507184808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599083751579726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002648975977581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3215500521327566
bipolarreddit,darktraveco,2019/04/22,"Hey guys I did the thing today. Hey folks. Today I managed to feel that shitty depressed feeling we get once we realize we failed a long term goal due to being manic and depressed over a period of some months and being unable to be consistently productive. People around me saw it coming from a mile and I don't even mention it since I know they'll just give me that pity and lecture me about it. Which is reasonable.  


But I feel utterly shitty because only I know how the fuck it was hard to, besides not doing anything productive, staying healthy, eating everyday, showering and keeping my place clean. Also taking my meds and not going back to smoking. Also not giving in to suicidal thoughts. Also for not making a scandal or a fool of myself after my girlfriend left me, even though I was in mania (that one is actually kinda cool, but damn that was hard).  


Since some of you guys might share the feeling, I thought you guys might spare some wisdom. I feel like shit and it is very hard for people to understand me right now so... I'm not even sure why I posted this. But I calmed down while typing, so I'll post it.",4.495120967741936,5.9163946267281124,5.2514487327188935,81.56860167050692,70.47465437788019,7.636981566820276,26.92655529953917,8.07648339933343,1.7548158986175115,882,29,162,12,16,286,131,217,0.149,0.747,0.10400000000000001,-0.8156,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,3,2,1,2,15,14,3,0,8,1,15,3,1,3,1,44,36,19,1,0,10,0,8,1,1,3,0,0,2,3,13,12,1,1,12,0,0,2,6,8,0,1,7,10,26,6,20,23,4,26,0,4,1,1,16,9,3,7,13,115,39,5,0.0,0.0,0.10569753004655126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598527807239192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913208880478794,0.0964212293531446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832857483609346,0.0,0.0660263910745795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330176432120407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18657906747133726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11083088955220173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146184675224745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738306719099854,0.07737858461028982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013330711468524,0.05658889343305895,0.20780674247016304,0.061556579681724004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217396813230124,0.0,0.0,0.2910806007320565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627326721237478,0.0,0.0,0.11905160857555183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768201997730042,0.0,0.0,0.05291609367885225,0.0,0.0,0.0958532940448732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07229954036365324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120310945842026,0.0,0.0,0.2298052275379606,0.0,0.0,0.08645413035669487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11534944596618228,0.07339546030282157,0.08237665726351417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15018071862429308,0.0,0.1131636745721855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20746717220975627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111363452005846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09249841823309952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118138707619167,0.17919470015527672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544688210933175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11847646813893535,0.0,0.10208339846029774,0.0,0.08143763923748025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195811724053265,0.0,0.10641663667976983,0.1719763038285284,0.0,0.0,0.20533547048195305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127572969648542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08936928637683199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773532700646548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sarahnityy,2019/04/22,"My psychiatrist just fired me. Had a really bad culmination of a depressive episode late last week, and my psych fired me because of it today. She said it was an “ordeal” and that because I have trouble being compliant with meds- which is because of my depression and something I’ve been trying very hard at- they are dismissing me from their practice. 
They are dropping me when I need help the most, and leaving me unmedicated. 
I’ve never been fired by a mental health professional before and I feel so hurt and pissed. 
Now I need to find a new psych and go through all of this all over again to try and get meds that work for me. 
I could really use some words of encouragement.",4.670846153846156,6.392477469230768,5.273846153846153,80.40615384615388,70.46153846153847,8.584615384615384,27.615384615384606,9.120678840339163,2.240676923076923,541,19,103,11,10,174,88,130,0.233,0.73,0.038,-0.9828,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,3,1,5,7,1,0,6,0,10,2,1,1,3,22,17,10,0,3,1,0,5,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,9,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,5,6,18,1,14,10,4,13,0,3,0,0,7,2,1,2,9,72,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415337350498188,0.3099950924034327,0.0,0.1442404898257787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353399088433669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29199735802608817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570932830555347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15492903128825342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885619571370807,0.0,0.09633641586801826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15184762781506242,0.0,0.0,0.18018115941818733,0.0,0.0,0.11361895217677173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18146391663955372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13817324050502078,0.19121461670855475,0.17948657092069042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37657470158476586,0.0,0.17082616916684712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25137897299485984,0.13073653008015398,0.16371377436235315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171848401430968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16124278808064685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13049704768783987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606756205354732,0.0,0.0,0.23017227001563675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14640217921927556,0.0,0.13986346841786354,0.0,0.0,0.13597066415821346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12340526876219965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bokunonibakadesu,2019/04/22,"Etiquette for asking for extension? Hi everyone. I have finals and final essays this week and the past few days have encompassed a sudden and debilitating episode that has made it impossible to get any work done and I’m worried I won’t be able to finish my work on time. I have an essay due Wednesday that I’m considering asking for an extension for, only until Friday. I’m not a part of my school’s disability services but I’m wondering if anyone knows what the proper etiquette is for explaining my situation to my professor without being too ‘personal’ I guess. Like I don’t want to say hey I just had a breakdown but I also don’t want to seem like I’m trying to cheat him. Should I tell him that I can provide the medical documentation if he’d like? Should I even detail that it’s a mental health issue? I’ve never had to do something like this before. Thank you.",3.7445431893687697,5.549629284883722,5.66654485049834,76.31848837209303,73.01162790697674,8.40265780730897,26.82059800664452,9.04235418022936,2.3373691029900336,695,25,127,15,14,240,106,172,0.035,0.8440000000000001,0.121,0.92,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,2,4,6,1,0,9,0,18,2,0,1,1,22,35,10,0,6,7,0,0,4,0,3,2,1,0,1,9,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,4,1,18,5,16,25,2,14,0,0,0,0,12,2,0,5,16,85,27,5,0.1520726326787973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216124294109053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341460501435906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063327206338426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843347665164886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12940260973101278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807426742281404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556231017207453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004425396531887,0.0,0.0,0.14531191745409344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3331762716961233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945167400822413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16752514971590046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16164609730066287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15872431880631616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357514187734258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971800273659144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14389480200310942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15319717857150578,0.15325344587529827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728778930231736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156580898075028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16467984182126602,0.14517053526897056,0.0,0.1327839571402414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093426125471987,0.0,0.15390562304132355,0.0,0.13844121334212864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709360107245071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11707294223276354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13291818383387924,0.14000804856808038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867477505072359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10324733527912484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17939275764001272,0.0,0.1219834930551333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14659259117780835,0.16491628315595747,0.2214213755329565,0.154437140266574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,anonymous0293,2019/04/22,"How to get back in work mode? How do you guys go about this, I’ve been out of work for about 2 years now and it just hard for myself to get back out there. Had a few bad outbursts at work and haven’t been able to get my confidence up to get back out in the work community.",0.8847540983606592,2.0161191147540976,2.3220983606557404,100.14380327868857,79.1639344262295,6.191475409836067,17.118032786885244,6.742157984588678,-0.6184386885245899,210,3,57,2,5,68,42,61,0.079,0.868,0.053,-0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,4,10,1,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,2,0,8,10,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,1,3,0,16,7,1,13,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,5,39,5,4,0.2113520661896477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4875500787461071,0.17647014708665335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4416909253970127,0.0,0.12011624982585345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20927177425226234,0.0,0.0,0.1893299375293902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6154672855080918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361038011764494
bipolarreddit,stabby_and_snappy,2019/04/22,"How quick has mania come on for you? Couldn’t drag me off the floor 2.5 weeks ago from SH and wanting to die. I still want to die but today I am **BUZZINGGGGGGG**  while thinking “I could soooooo die right now woohoo!” I haven’t slept well this entire time, I’m up a few times a night and usually give up around 4am. I’m on a TONNE of seroquel but it’s not doing shit although definitely helps me get to sleep. That’s not a problem at all.  The problem is staying asleep. I feel like I need some sort of needle in the arse. 

I’ve weaned off high dose lexapro and onto Prozac in a  really short space of time under supervision inpatient (for the last two weeks). All during the depression I slept well at home, at least 6-7 hour full blocks. I’ve done one 5 hour block since I’ve been in here. The rest of the time I’m awake and looking for more seroquel at least 3 times during the night. I have a private room, so a roommate is not the problem. I KNEW this would catch up with me. I just knew it. Fuck. 

I cannot do this. CANNOT. Help? I see a Dr in the morning. I’m already flipping out paranoid and could run a mile and want to slice my skin open with anything I can find (which is nothing, logically a good thing, sucky because I know it’ll calm me down) and my mind is racing. My eyes are wide. I feel *wild*.",0.6558167631512752,2.7415988832116795,1.9619808708784312,97.82456204379564,83.8905109489051,4.801208155046566,19.667253964258748,5.935793293072707,-0.29200010067958715,1010,28,236,7,29,322,163,274,0.14400000000000002,0.723,0.133,-0.7243,0,0,0,0,0,1,40.0,0,1,0,0,10,11,2,0,20,0,21,11,7,1,2,46,43,13,3,11,6,0,3,1,0,2,3,0,2,0,9,13,0,2,8,0,0,3,7,6,2,2,6,6,23,5,34,32,9,53,0,1,3,1,4,30,2,2,20,140,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014748631191183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12632561402782186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420287648581116,0.10190670140422453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06978267924164659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09860976779651674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18279737348459613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859684140430498,0.0,0.3564198155101672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11714730350214428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576363713615725,0.08178070711048409,0.0,0.0,0.10462774889549346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582996189957776,0.059808275672956324,0.10981450763882447,0.0,0.0960158984882728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15345987900747518,0.12094874435598488,0.11482739960735985,0.0,0.22546892639825866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291226946696105,0.09331211194845984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05592652773860223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09612986809595338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11558675535731948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488149653236543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21485339356463715,0.0,0.10984150638718723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07757098003917247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32861031673785124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333538694927186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776071878029972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09122146858384862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175065749575144,0.09469460680210556,0.0,0.11455731420699278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12201473702513725,0.0914195969658166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760518655117312,0.07335072830348169,0.0,0.0,0.3337554216240992,0.0,0.1085085754375829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11182509140778736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260776452959404,0.0,0.20256032934350385,0.0,0.18364930560019133,0.0,0.20585290200094614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131950123147798,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ajdctx12,2019/04/22,"Manic Episode, sounds hurt, things look beautiful Hi! I was having an intense manic episode earlier that resulted in most sounds seeming way too loud and intense? Is this normal. To counteract that, everything looked amazing. Does mania also cause obsessive thoughts? I tend to repeatedly bring up things while im like this",5.366587301587302,9.000859944444448,4.681534391534392,75.23833333333333,79.18518518518519,8.27089947089947,33.64021164021164,8.841846274778883,4.045198941798942,263,14,37,7,7,79,44,54,0.084,0.701,0.214,0.7993,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,2,0,7,9,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,6,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,5,2,2,4,7,1,6,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,2,3,21,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21801396592173927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800556444838828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385714354655371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24501310925294945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29184514822066154,0.0,0.29447617978138674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13318827004899092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4578639636481645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671095340245681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481828388260827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3622329799857928,0.0,0.0,0.2164296795541368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.216392918112372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bibibirdie666,2019/04/22,"Fuck this Life I hate my life. No one can tolerate me for long. Not my family. Not my husband. Not my very few friends. But everyone adores me from afar. Without knowing the true and full me. I'm perfect. Without this painful depth I posses, I would truly be a better person. I don't want to be thoughtful, empathetic, I don't want to find thrill in digging deeper. I fucking hate this bullshit. Manic, baseline, or depressed. I always feel this tension. I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere. And I'm almost done trying.",0.4280392156862725,2.727897686274513,2.23764705882353,89.11274509803923,101.54901960784314,3.8352941176470585,23.31372549019608,5.82211442006289,0.747760784313726,412,18,74,4,18,135,67,102,0.23600000000000002,0.552,0.212,-0.449,0,0,0,0,0,1,21.0,0,0,0,2,1,13,4,1,2,0,9,5,0,0,2,19,20,4,0,3,7,1,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,10,7,0,1,2,1,16,6,7,15,2,4,0,1,0,2,3,3,2,2,1,50,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895994212097485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15754834223699854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674582823017962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16308063965531164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937633794036577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809251189714409,0.0,0.0,0.17849550077069373,0.0,0.09573738734477152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17305585019306094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462857448197815,0.3500886567047133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3738735467122871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405782782399936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674767784159208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16756238218746575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830355276396624,0.0,0.20147404372004415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653267926265337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503169997257121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12855130361046446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15622760457961274,0.2233585282424464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3650393231863536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13450366247433654,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MiniVelle,2019/04/22,"I hope this is okay to post here So I don't talk much with my new pdoc because he's so busy and always schedules patients close to each other so we don't get time to talk about this but..before I started taking my abilify I swear I was being haunted by ghosts and shadows and that my upstairs neighbor at the time was following me around my apartment and listening to me through their vents, I got so mad at them but I kept it to myself. This all went away when I started taking abilify a year ago, now my mind is calm. Were these delusions? I'm not even sure what a delusion is..",2.507249999999999,4.126021891666666,3.5450000000000017,91.02,75.91666666666666,6.133333333333334,26.166666666666664,6.742157984588678,0.970566666666667,457,17,97,4,10,147,82,120,0.07200000000000001,0.871,0.055999999999999994,-0.2026,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,2,0,10,5,1,0,3,1,9,0,0,0,2,16,21,10,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,8,9,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,6,1,19,4,13,14,3,19,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,1,10,69,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19642452241832434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18437908932895894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19726043021170928,0.0,0.0,0.20818935830680374,0.0,0.0,0.13507807768137886,0.0,0.18855519232669232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463568812209935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11577066107429508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772242835881888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22008702828330529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22374086075182525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628927842762354,0.0,0.0,0.2140112131393032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21222019216854449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136824618556574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088442061239384,0.0,0.3332134190609636,0.3562083178368968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258419660916749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20541443223067227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269550159092798
bipolarreddit,Meganea84,2019/04/22,"Anyone else afraid of reaching out I am on medication (Abilify Injection, Lithium, and Trazadone) but I’m still rapid cycling. My cycles haven’t been as severe has they’ve been in the past though so hurrah! 

But I just came down off a manic episode, which she increased my lithium because it wasn’t where she wanted it. Now I’ve fallen from the mania and I’m depressed. Not extremely, just enough that it’s intrusive to my life and my body literally aches as well. So basically it’s at the point where I can kinda hide it. 

I’ve explained to friends that this is what’s going on. That I’m depressed and my body aches because of it and that if I cut back on activities this is why. Well now that I’ve done that on Facebook and got the usual people wishing me well I feel awkward and horrible reaching out to people to complain, I feel like I’m dragging them down with my own depression by saying things like “I have no motivation for anything especially anything fun, I just want to cry.” 

I know most my friends would want me to turn to them in hard times but where is that line of being someone who is having a hard time and being a depressed annoying whiner?",3.894517224648229,5.547019502183408,4.7786535662299885,83.46168243571083,72.31877729257641,7.359631246967492,28.87942746239689,7.984000788550335,1.9044699660359057,922,37,178,13,18,299,127,229,0.21899999999999997,0.607,0.175,-0.924,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,2,1,16,17,2,2,7,0,17,4,2,1,0,32,33,17,0,6,8,0,4,2,2,1,2,1,0,0,19,12,0,0,5,0,0,4,4,9,3,0,6,5,22,8,28,24,4,28,0,4,0,0,10,16,0,3,10,126,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704756179475802,0.1275565618219057,0.20489228956702574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572651050144797,0.0,0.15177809272199755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27656465235024275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142385455279475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13674839764633773,0.0,0.0,0.4288984229148833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12739833499018932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039969252451418,0.0,0.0,0.12863330912553989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258935902292017,0.08893696746511373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19236411317966584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075155938803701,0.0,0.09956746575297848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22304040191838898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06841743805394766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879322406628217,0.12164081122960113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12541239224383627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884151053670973,0.1726138795823875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768499119304468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09900087684132099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406402998782092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548149894404077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994193130421138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270682080970826,0.0,0.12231256234269425,0.0,0.145184340527584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354113307005481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711013066461644,0.0,0.2202854689946357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3357992397239317,0.0,0.1123344868860572,0.0,0.1431594272215721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843540354245809,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,overthisgardenwall,2019/04/22,"I’ve lost the love of my life because of my manic depressive episode I’ve been manic depressive for about five weeks now. I haven’t been able to ease the pain and as a result I’ve obsessively called/harassed the person I love the most. I understand they have to take a step back and take care of themselves. But how do I fix this? Knowing what I’ve done is only making matters worse. 

Also, any suggestions on how to cope? I have lots of panic attacks too.",3.6230590062111774,5.0200139456521775,4.542236024844723,85.9058695652174,72.58695652173913,7.431055900621117,26.186335403726712,7.957251820313856,1.471181366459628,361,12,73,5,7,117,62,92,0.212,0.64,0.147,-0.6868,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,7,10,1,2,6,0,8,4,0,4,0,12,17,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,7,0,1,4,0,8,3,11,13,2,5,0,3,0,2,5,1,0,2,3,47,10,0,0.2011740695429675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16087883073132167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368052658420099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228864546536766,0.0,0.1546904417443114,0.0,0.12263384556318765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051103714479559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34654186262821224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058709192875474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056000746438094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420951947422469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196052612969457,0.17103099987262504,0.36313490424520223,0.0,0.13428525356218207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530019451381892,0.21406339382023612,0.23603442523395976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756574378793256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30251572774889385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094293011788466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16136970395455613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20501356364586806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,acidicthoughts,2019/09/13,mindfully ill anyone ever just feel mentally ill? like you’re not having a healthy stay here on this planet. need some help but know deep down that being “fixed” is unrealistic and hey i kind of like being in this space?,3.4450000000000003,5.880738976190479,4.238333333333333,83.37750000000003,75.90476190476191,7.057142857142857,20.02380952380953,8.07648339933343,0.9286952380952384,175,4,33,3,4,56,38,42,0.11900000000000001,0.723,0.158,0.4178,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,1,10,7,2,0,1,3,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,4,5,1,7,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,3,20,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246073940981288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3183360496778346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17794370832020587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23588771590549135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3664754314581697,0.1934086178481784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.343865275330795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35465733567899177,0.0,0.3553436362195592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26094771440142017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3751049174522915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,flying_lemur_circus,2019/09/13,"Hi, yeah, I'd like to die please. Ty Hello I know we're not supposed to talk about suicide and I'm sorry. But I'm over life. It's bad for me and I'm bad at it. My entire adult life seems to be measured in time of recovery since last fuck up, only to be punctuated by a new one - and I just can't do it anymore. I'm not doing it now (the suicide), but I want suggestions on how to best get a way out. Not just methods... but what I need to get my shit together to make this happen. I have a loving family and kind friends and I want to know what I can do to ease this transition for them in the best way possible. I'd like to take a month to get it all together. Not really trying to hear anything otherwise.

Thanks for the understanding.

I'm thinking getting crossfaded and doing a suicide bag with helium. Thoughts? I don't want it to hurt or be scary. Past attempts with pills have always scared me and given that 'dying panic'. I don't want that.",0.37760454545454536,2.494249115000006,2.8234545454545485,91.0117272727273,85.35,6.236363636363637,20.590909090909093,7.520522993642371,0.7292500000000004,733,23,163,13,22,252,113,200,0.159,0.632,0.209,0.8641,0,0,1,0,0,3,26.0,0,0,1,3,5,15,2,2,8,1,13,6,1,2,1,34,41,12,5,5,10,0,0,2,1,0,3,1,0,1,12,10,0,0,6,0,0,0,7,7,0,1,2,1,14,8,28,36,3,15,0,1,0,2,9,7,2,2,8,98,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10096259216068088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033428147510525,0.0,0.0,0.09985049509793563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20262363298911426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25467262229926163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25185851620829885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143862778303225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09374511837733954,0.11217464355730296,0.25357552379190856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729842706229614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675627858860234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12989439596502486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263544244605479,0.13336792863128696,0.09890632774988646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17140865151748672,0.11855883157981845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095119091967007,0.0,0.08099378122367265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685050395580692,0.0,0.0,0.08997028296356713,0.0,0.11718859719198295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222148888744478,0.09228270225204238,0.0,0.14236351417247908,0.0,0.0,0.11583045599571172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13319223303809782,0.0,0.13678989752730675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773196497016106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214800916492882,0.0,0.0,0.1104611816737299,0.0,0.0,0.12455128892521385,0.10037170546186816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13582749408777414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3981708773942258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09123076443635038,0.0975265558824958,0.0,0.11171134747601116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07774822606398822,0.0,0.09632849018045862,0.07075292248810698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238025645882824,0.0,0.0,0.126316706797977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28627220918172513,0.1926242568066491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,inkishworks,2019/09/13,"Restless and losing it Hey. God I don't know where to start. I am dying. I feel like my life has become so monotonous, and I can't take it anymore. I used to move to a new place every couple of years, I traveled to a new country every year, and I just took risks and my life was so adventurous. I moved to Florida on a whim and learned to surf in the Dominican Republic, so I moved to the other side of Florida and now I surf all the time. Surfing makes me happy, and it keeps me sane. I started dating this guy 2.5 years ago, and since we started dating, I haven't taken any trips outside the country. We've been to Dsiney world a ton of times, and to New York, and on a cruise.. but honestly none of that is the adventurous, hold onto the back of the bus, catch a ride on a motorcycle across the jungle travel that I love. I adore my boyfriend and I'm not leaving him, so that's not the point.. I've also had a really hard time with work. I have a degree in elementary education, but teaching was a nightmare for me. I taught at 4 different schools over the course of 3 years and then quit. I now work as a temp in a quiet office, which has absolutely zero stress which is great, but my job is SO easy that I am bored all day. I spend 5+ hours on reddit each day because they don't have any work for me to do. I go to each department and ask for work and it still amounts to nearly nothing. My job is meaningless, I have no adventures on the horizon, and I am just.. stuck. I need to get out of here and I don't know what to do. I fantasize about taking all of my savings and just leaving, but I could never hurt my boyfriend like that. Please help. I don't know what to do",1.926806426332284,3.3433334204545484,3.7261794670846378,89.96670454545456,77.01136363636364,6.900626959247648,23.21747648902821,7.6298220110432995,0.8497745689655178,1292,39,294,18,29,435,178,352,0.065,0.782,0.153,0.9885,3,0,0,0,0,1,45.0,1,0,1,6,16,17,0,3,23,0,26,3,0,2,4,47,48,29,1,2,9,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,15,22,0,2,5,3,1,12,11,6,0,1,8,3,41,11,43,39,8,56,0,2,0,1,8,19,0,0,27,197,56,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989096369009968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08109493984765116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13792013223701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056824534550696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094801620603029,0.0,0.0,0.0779755298521025,0.0,0.061816612440710926,0.1119957861933859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096503684494052,0.11220463802605693,0.0,0.1307979267543908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10524419450508622,0.1059484684767026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708791178846679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05127429878976416,0.07244500113086799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05298084049223304,0.0,0.05763179188550109,0.0,0.0,0.11180129781795542,0.0,0.1004086238015403,0.0,0.1079493690423116,0.09084052801522112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797080571350418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09986522008076064,0.0,0.10855802122456328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012611004154444,0.09013497710250666,0.0,0.0,0.16719149028103167,0.0,0.0,0.21475020859640484,0.0,0.0,0.14325317032552656,0.09908442977375906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344821232333943,0.0,0.0,0.09152354937713347,0.0,0.06768979181753577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233379747047691,0.0,0.07519181882310558,0.0782111356907281,0.29381780776753885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730250979226243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059484684767026,0.11131415757913092,0.09586215454682087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078585590467121,0.0,0.0,0.06496375952454386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262904296221724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388470996707954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153286548064236,0.0,0.08098356005438649,0.0,0.11616108737292495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15249050874652276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17739327098988744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266662841800347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875828714232888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953012815681669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26121048419673365
bipolarreddit,o-no9,2019/09/13,"Learning to recognize warning signs! Yay! I’ve been doing a ton of self reflection, and while a lot of my early symptoms seem like common sense red flags, I’m so new to this diagnosis that learning to see them coming has me really excited! 

For depression, the tiredness and low energy were the only signs I recognized for a while, but now I’ve come to realize that I let go of a lot of my “self care” routine as well. If I need a pedicure badly, if I throw my hair up in a bun right out of the shower several days in a row, or if I skip out if my skincare routine, it’s a warning sign. 

For mania, my biggest red flag is overspending, and I learned that one a while ago. Now I realize that rearranging my room, scheduling time to deep clean the house, and sleeplessness are warning signs as well. 

I’m sure I have many more that I’ll discover as time goes on, but I happy to recognize these. If you feel comfortable sharing, I’d love to hear what your red flags are too!",5.646233766233762,5.218110673469386,6.771335807050092,78.251586270872,67.26530612244898,10.80074211502783,33.12430426716141,10.436869588844218,3.2637918367346934,756,30,156,18,11,256,117,196,0.091,0.705,0.204,0.9779,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,1,0,6,14,0,0,13,1,9,3,1,0,1,33,21,19,0,6,8,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,3,2,9,8,0,0,9,0,0,4,0,3,2,1,2,7,19,11,24,18,4,28,0,2,4,1,8,11,0,9,14,100,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513673902174484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14257648142592616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17409999664649425,0.0,0.0,0.2941872054320642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012531185515402,0.0,0.14707432075600896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634078971267138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704617208619612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18177593827881686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19245759960403205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19703275083136948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17461246188931015,0.0,0.0834241336968212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903460833702988,0.15411650119154607,0.0,0.0,0.17312264100574246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12661550075483546,0.0,0.16491993164263066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11571059515848835,0.1298697766837441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939247210481436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14582709858090853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360726706783667,0.15545241574102578,0.3562773790669837,0.19290886112317526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16093816624225288,0.17748379552616514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19914168135555108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3070653715294425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FinnieGwin,2019/09/13,"Does the nausea with Vraylar pass? I've been super nauseous lately & I think it's because I increased my Vraylar dose (4.5mg). Sound familiar? Can anyone tell me if this passes with time. I'm taking some zofran to help, but I just feel shaky and unsettled in my gut. I'm hoping, like some meds, that it will just take a couple weeks to adjust. Can anyone tell me their experiences on Vraylar and let me know how they fared.",3.353928571428572,5.182995107142858,4.120952380952383,86.8907142857143,74.11904761904762,6.2285714285714295,22.714285714285715,6.868970318607317,0.6817571428571427,335,9,65,3,7,107,64,84,0.061,0.7859999999999999,0.152,0.782,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,2,1,3,4,0,1,2,0,5,2,1,1,0,18,13,5,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,2,10,3,6,10,3,8,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,6,4,36,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24894303000808546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3213047012741099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14005853161338147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542231969960046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20106304306488496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247477117386116,0.0,0.0,0.1161727036545059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15400215031101036,0.0,0.0,0.2282018410213272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262691570138118,0.0,0.2591773782440613,0.0,0.0,0.23494343585409055,0.0,0.11224830342468303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25520968414914297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34549930668717604,0.0,0.4016377752404591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14721984610798006,0.0,0.0,0.13397391667581196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18429825533861968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Letspickaname,2019/09/13,"I feel like my MHNP is a judgey bitch and I want to switch Diagnosed bipolar 1 about 12 years ago and have had several doctors and mental health nurse practitioners and never felt judged by any of them before. I’ve been seeing this lady for about a year and a half and I’ve never liked her. I used to drink quite a lot and she was really harsh and judgmental about it, told me I was “pissing into the wind” by drinking and treating my bipolar with meds. Okay, I get it. The entire time I’ve seen her I’ve been really depressed, until the last two visits and she’s, I dunno, a judgey bitch, I guess. At my most recent visit I started talking and she interrupts me to say I’m really elevated. No shit. She immediately says we’re raising the latuda, while I was talking later she interrupts me again to ask when the last time I took my latuda was, I said the day before, and she’s like, you need to go home and take it right now! I’ve stopped drinking and thought she would be thrilled, but now she’s just bitchy about me having symptoms of my fucking illness. I kinda wanna ask for a new person, but I don’t want that bitch to win! What would you do?",2.863407557354929,4.436749123931627,4.1900809716599206,86.95755060728744,74.85470085470084,6.8066576698155625,23.426900584795323,7.475848149327749,0.9356957264957256,901,26,186,11,19,297,133,234,0.154,0.7829999999999999,0.063,-0.9645,0,0,3,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,1,2,9,14,6,0,12,1,15,13,2,1,2,37,36,19,0,6,3,0,2,3,0,2,7,3,1,1,6,16,3,1,3,3,0,4,4,7,0,2,13,7,35,7,21,20,2,28,0,1,2,1,24,3,6,5,24,118,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10775952995444392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266797913276698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22729265892222414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20688474784550245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839899878401953,0.0,0.10470326303617364,0.1233853347191988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12442634238751285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35726057585017423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061466627005771414,0.08684565109708903,0.11672091398098818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123843541036185,0.06351239583677079,0.0,0.06908786544356432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13391692187969773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12921730152804795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193903226117216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198182466347728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781707160527474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334972883905416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350306739051921,0.0,0.12250835038130915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013848244781876,0.1875159609655921,0.11740768132686165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614536889167203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12929873201167416,0.0,0.0,0.23363185474034645,0.0,0.12003020623991065,0.0,0.0,0.10381535663080783,0.11563560826180908,0.19334582353147586,0.0,0.0,0.09687110949645213,0.0,0.0,0.13733320082230116,0.12478413761558177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604392727637614,0.0,0.0,0.10163330445228136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12635198607147255,0.09140132039127932,0.19541776364469987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965085763359468,0.14177039021670446,0.0,0.0,0.11616001973966253,0.1350625515789549,0.0,0.0,0.11875078139371815,0.0,0.0,0.10499263406688296,0.0,0.0,0.143403697602432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17271176248934328,0.0,0.0,0.15656701096927306
bipolarreddit,halfnakedjunkie,2019/09/13,"I’m Mean and I Know It. I was on medication for the last 7 years. I’ve been off for like 4-5 months and I’m going through my same old behaviors again. The medicine wasn’t perfect and still had my moments and break downs, but now that I’m off its like every other day I’m lashing out at my boyfriend. Sucked into my phone. Obsessed with certain topics. Super sexed up and then repulsed by it really quickly. I feel like I can’t stop. I see what I’m doing, and I realize it too late. I’m not on insurance anymore. My boyfriend is very supportive but I feel like he’s in a toxic relationship. I can’t even tell if our arguments are me being crazy, or if I have genuine reason to be upset. I don’t know what to do anymore.",0.6520343137254905,2.702985424836601,2.947218137254904,90.96435661764707,83.640522875817,5.916503267973857,23.28799019607843,7.1686216300943375,0.8656147058823529,562,21,124,8,16,192,100,153,0.14400000000000002,0.701,0.156,0.2238,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,0,2,6,11,1,2,3,0,14,2,0,1,2,26,29,12,0,2,6,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,9,0,1,7,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,4,3,17,8,17,23,1,25,0,0,1,1,5,10,1,3,17,79,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3780531242454415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12292290843009385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12589121926393204,0.0,0.16059091058679276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19274880241142267,0.2723330701395477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832384965713324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095004078435953,0.15536655787163944,0.21500803414734648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3724752093601204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20762210777399714,0.0,0.19201206644866944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521371763574004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20000536522411205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210490581101008,0.1959712169641908,0.0,0.20463586068529208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518855942913034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15221548206342933,0.15935230768766087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21629357101516689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16659507299368942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15726710599425078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274182483866357
bipolarreddit,morbicized,2019/09/13,"I just want to go home and get drunk I dragged my ass out of bed at 7:05, and immediately just felt irritated. Went through my morning routine of finding clothes to wear to work, got frustrated, cried, and continued getting ready. Shit, its already 7:43 and I'm not even fully clothed yet. So finish dressing and run out the door. No music will load for my short commute to work so I sulk in silence as I drive there. Punch in, make my coffee, cry some more. Use the restroom, hide and cry while doing that too. 20 minutes later back in my office. Cry some more. 

I just want to go home. My car is a mess, none of my laundry is folded, my car is on e, and budgeting this paycheck has left me feeling worthless. Why do I spend all my money on fast food? Please just let me go home. I havent taken a mental health day since I started working here almost a year and a half ago. I feel the need to explain myself about everything, therefore I cant even come up with a good excuse to leave work.

I feel trapped, useless, and hopeless.

How do you guys deal with these days? 

Tomorrow I wont even be able to imagine what today felt like, as I will probably be back to overly happy.

I just want to go home.",2.1446171256129745,4.090573037344402,3.273144096567332,91.10700773293098,77.96265560165975,5.709619011693702,25.062429271972842,6.574015621080383,0.7828655601659755,926,34,195,8,22,298,155,241,0.18899999999999997,0.732,0.079,-0.9826,0,1,0,0,0,1,36.0,0,1,0,4,18,9,2,0,8,0,15,6,3,4,1,40,39,15,0,4,6,0,5,1,0,3,1,0,6,1,5,14,2,0,8,1,3,10,6,6,0,1,5,5,27,3,30,28,6,37,0,3,0,1,5,12,2,3,16,121,32,4,0.10278317503558974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911110830871395,0.0,0.10292250279927008,0.0,0.11342378951733045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15806783435120966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.088538604248871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4516099658020586,0.1325732897160764,0.10596494026762238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036619532193892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237489022460288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559107847605668,0.0,0.19737593317685248,0.0,0.09394195990831214,0.0,0.12428582323942634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10739993347398002,0.0,0.23365618804769545,0.08620965070514287,0.08220509449769134,0.0,0.0,0.10177150283299324,0.0,0.10941460107075897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925370870488306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4123996199541653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883254164379673,0.11167422041567958,0.10510276024705513,0.0,0.05021466754368039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06860856746069043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035812655751061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07621242192800788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11282506098089748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108176468565742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550545214011918,0.08502330452146373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07275046031228903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742643181253162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877166233046392,0.0,0.0,0.18187253896869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09528103299855804,0.09274582856942663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29930950227046343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618899484415504
bipolarreddit,Noelle2100,2019/09/13,"Hypersexuality and Bipolar Hello, does anyone have advice for dealing with intense hypersexuality?? 
When I'm going through this phase, it's just awful. I masturbate, but it just doesn't satisfy me. I don't even know if anything will. :(
It just makes me feel gulity and sad that I go through these phases.",4.879636363636365,7.487694054545457,6.292727272727273,69.53909090909093,72.0909090909091,7.309090909090909,29.181818181818183,8.238735603445708,2.351472727272727,243,10,40,4,5,82,42,55,0.231,0.7490000000000001,0.02,-0.925,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,0,11,10,5,0,1,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,4,9,0,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,28,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37805291954396136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705142471629028,0.0,0.31836781133739456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3988544576032056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33855973791418864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255529415926226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956172526910358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4397436166812612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21261815226503825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582442163639661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,heavenweapon7,2019/09/13,"Help with lithium during heatwave So where I live the weather has been around 85+ degrees (Fahrenheit) on and off for the past 2 weeks. I take 900mg of lithium and today for the second time this heat has absolutely obliterated me!

I didn’t expect the temperature to be in the 90s today, so by noon I was starting to feel pretty shitty. I tried forcing myself to drink as much water as I could but I was still super groggy, dizzy, and weak. My head was pounding like a jackhammer and I was too nauseous to eat or move too much (making my day super unproductive and sad).  I wasn’t sweating at all either, which I’m assuming is a side effect? 

Aside from trying to stay hydrated, is there anything else I can do to prevent this from happening?",4.789931034482759,5.840300717241384,5.852586206896555,78.92853448275864,69.41379310344827,8.006896551724138,28.98275862068965,8.238735603445708,2.0598137931034484,584,21,108,8,10,194,103,145,0.073,0.794,0.134,0.8752,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,3,8,5,0,0,7,0,15,6,2,2,1,18,21,11,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,7,3,1,3,1,0,1,2,2,0,1,7,1,14,3,20,12,4,18,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,2,10,78,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16892760948517324,0.18274235459601806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638990467959452,0.0,0.0,0.13238835152379816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20109584490802726,0.0,0.21005226602703586,0.17148475438089264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379552735667018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181528061201648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21067607984649295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13759458033386762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028923733673137,0.0,0.18126563658064626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13702571861922594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181797144057609,0.30180823303885823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19596259405365404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20884313974121613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14529794853802314,0.2188007268623376,0.16393654367719301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543447023735013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11970017823429675,0.0,0.38916209230772997,0.0,0.0,0.2787427298926447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16466290274758816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,governmitts,2019/05/23,Just got Latuda for $15 and couldn't be happier! I have a lot of high hopes for this drug. What's anyone else's experiences with Latuda? Does it help with motivation? I feel helpless a lot of the time and hope this will help with that. If you're interested in getting it for $15 just check your eligibility on Latuda.com,2.6092820512820545,4.7160887230769255,4.610384615384618,81.30378205128206,77.15384615384616,8.025641025641027,23.14102564102564,8.841846274778883,1.6021794871794866,257,8,54,6,6,88,48,65,0.083,0.675,0.242,0.8772,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,2,4,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,1,0,15,9,3,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,3,3,10,5,2,4,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,5,1,33,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17180943038409768,0.25176374589386025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21502658855153653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28495104107517016,0.0,0.20526310122498329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403561241452128,0.0,0.0,0.12424073449229385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12837578849714334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19652049090291168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3293947660017372,0.25961106970117537,0.0,0.488100275694732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4177956997489989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14327821671529686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,R452991,2019/05/23,"BD and seasonal affective disorder Has anyone ever considered moving to a sunny city / country to help ones mood. For me I live in Montreal and the winters always make me suicidal and have panic attacks, socially isolate, and overall unhealthy and unproductive.

I'm seriously considering moving to a warmer climate and I'm wondering if anyone else feels the same way. Fellow Canadians with BD and S.A.D out there ?",6.842582159624412,9.607451028169015,7.971478873239437,58.98754694835682,66.88732394366197,11.493896713615026,38.593896713615024,11.20814326018867,5.864378403755867,337,19,43,12,6,114,54,71,0.242,0.667,0.092,-0.9118,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,1,4,0,2,0,0,2,1,16,7,8,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,1,0,1,3,0,7,7,1,8,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,3,28,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853746304466456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.311552338496158,0.228269145664558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534496397311253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25533044771750113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18610794253449844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015214213850873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11264658546687407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14932781833745987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19672287952373824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14871044751822396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4735695356408308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15096460769376768,0.0,0.0,0.2613897213218216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271008392953708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436901881906987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17683604222326224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416003905809043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bipolarguyborn1990,2019/05/23,"My secret to sleeping with no drugs I have put up with being bipolar for about 12 years now. Going to sleep and staying asleep has by far been one of the most difficult parts. If I need to be asleep by 10:30 PM or 11 PM and I’m not feeling tired around 9:30 PM I would get anxious and stressed out to the point where I would be asleep at one or 2 AM. I would get little sleep in as a result I would be flat or depressed which sucks. I took all the sleeping pills and nothing worked because if I took the benzo or the sleeping pill in my body didn’t feel tired immediately I would get so anxious that it didn’t work. At one point I was taking 10 Benadryl‘s to help with the sleep but then my body built up a tolerance and that didn’t work.

THERE IS HOPE!!!!!

Part 1:
Last year I invested in a very nicememory foam bed with the adjustable feature. I was able to customize my head and feet so that scientifically there was 10 pounds off my chest and my feet allowed me to be in a extremely comfortable position. I negotiated with the sales person in total I think I spent $2000.

Part 2:
Only use your room for sleeping and sex. Do you not study, relax, or watch TV ever. After a while, your brain will associate the bedroom with sleep. So if you’re the type of person who doesn’t get sleepy, when you get to bed your brain literally will start to feel sleepy because it thinks it’s time to shut down.

Part 3:
Go to bed relatively at the same time and wake up at the same time typically within one hour. So for work if you wake up at 7 AM don’t sleep in past 8 AM on your days off. I know it sucks because naturally you’re going to want to clock in those precious hours of sleep but trust me it’s the best way to train your body to naturally get sleepy when you need it to.


conclusion:
I felt for so long that there was no hope and I was a slave to sleeping in the racing thoughts and the anxiety but if you do all these things in a month or so it will change your life.",3.344682573138858,4.2262365110024485,4.2780709889554025,89.51070904645479,72.64303178484106,7.499570019391283,24.372396931118804,7.753152298057669,0.8996002192057997,1539,42,352,19,29,498,193,409,0.06,0.855,0.085,0.9533,1,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,11,0,6,16,12,2,1,22,0,32,33,25,3,4,66,63,36,0,15,16,0,4,0,0,8,7,0,5,2,16,19,0,0,11,2,3,6,9,5,0,4,14,5,37,7,60,36,11,61,0,1,1,1,16,32,2,14,21,227,53,5,0.06133349900731117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046919958863423886,0.13857879198371129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054599817573417614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216499515370254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643657232319903,0.0,0.0,0.20438307224857147,0.0,0.13693693819626446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06488270941798985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039555032865940566,0.0,0.052826452822140636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112738675128713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05547966126119897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303617989063093,0.0,0.05888977742406699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19226533070701746,0.0,0.10457172275068267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294586469639328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04111055152992881,0.0,0.0,0.1218360071672475,0.12080228365932474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03370728704484754,0.049994987764023766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04332166419592097,0.0,0.06147227889365636,0.0,0.05427821656881362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04895581375192306,0.0,0.0,0.09095602471995444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0588511464711308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624466500313825,0.046646889788375584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656728100762873,0.058549764832549325,0.0,0.10710809117968714,0.0,0.0,0.1159599626015352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061657106928444665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.675155726594592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04341216627916178,0.06537334926007961,0.0,0.0,0.07025731588861285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04611515820536676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040747251415660816,0.07860005925147913,0.0,0.048691947193484186,0.10729216950628996,0.1409876691734298,0.0,0.0,0.13628754829844392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052972450613026856,0.0,0.05060656004467758,0.03617608681067635,0.04868367667261636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17860607102308065,0.0,0.0,0.21784778975369448,0.0,0.0,0.07899352492590793
bipolarreddit,maegansangtian,2019/05/23,"Am I just overreacting?? Okay so it’s been going on for around four to five years now and it’s really just an intense cycle of extreme highs and lows.

When I’m experiencing my “highs” I have incredible trouble sleeping and would often stay up until 5 am. I would be able to do all these amazing projects and have such great motivation to do my tasks for school and after a couple of days, I would just snap out of it. This would also involve me getting mad or irritated very easily and have this type of superiority complex that I’m better than anyone.

On my “lows” it would last as little as three to four days and as much as two weeks. On my lows, I have trouble eating, I have trouble sleeping and would usually spend my day in bed because I’m too tired to do actual tasks even if I did absolutely nothing to be tired in the first place. My thoughts would just be drive with what I’ve done wrong in my life and why I’ll never be good enough. My most recent “low” was this week and when I woke up this morning, it’s almost like it never happened and I’m suddenly back to normal.

I’ve started reaching out for psychiatrists who could help me out and in the midst of doing so, I stumbled upon certain symptoms of mental illnesses. I figured I could maybe have PMDD since it got worse during my period but I noticed that I also related to symptoms of bipolar disorder.

It would explain my periods of impulsive spending on things I end up regretting buying after a while and how nearly all my piercings and tattoos were straight out of impulse. It would also explain how I would be super talkative one week and then it’d just die down the next. In terms of my low points, I’m pretty sure I need some type of therapy for it cause I was diagnosed with mild depression a little over a year ago but never really had proper treatment for it. I know it’s a bad idea to self-diagnose and really I’m just here to seek help. I’ve been going on and off with these highs and lows for the past year and I don’t want to come off overanalysing my emotions. Were your experiences before diagnosis similar to mine or am I just overreacting? I think knowing which is more likely will help a lot with my first appointment with the psychiatrist since I’ll know what to expect.",6.4237583892617485,6.155908628635348,7.116533333333333,75.88680000000002,65.62192393736018,10.105020134228187,32.197673378076054,9.692545771848811,2.8689207874720357,1795,64,346,33,25,596,226,447,0.12,0.782,0.098,-0.8882,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,5,24,25,1,0,12,1,43,11,2,4,7,85,66,40,1,18,12,0,0,2,0,11,8,0,1,0,26,30,1,0,11,0,3,4,4,14,0,8,12,1,39,11,67,35,9,78,0,8,0,0,8,38,0,8,37,254,65,5,0.07418603393037339,0.0,0.07239486765199504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576144295012454,0.0,0.07428659683087002,0.0,0.0,0.17797963359433133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051872599835321984,0.0,0.0,0.06604129855058352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05704448086186811,0.06194223957915436,0.04522311771408336,0.0,0.06312685081516473,0.0,0.0,0.0656115183473141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620949233004398,0.0,0.06390469935065046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846302304176318,0.08208543550304144,0.0,0.14353156388289082,0.0,0.06389632231837021,0.15059452567116546,0.07699339075547477,0.0,0.08502362206077209,0.0,0.0,0.07591806955160861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591083327444624,0.0,0.08344930300448684,0.06570680648085088,0.07665400422696525,0.0,0.04899917574586217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256817636773677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262052051264452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038759140812986516,0.0,0.08432326540090802,0.06222372552825733,0.05933334835729313,0.08179036430794334,0.0,0.0,0.06560246480148971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14917600430714598,0.2351448538300154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374700235230617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231211234720912,0.06047151913130459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05239978970669406,0.07248709779412815,0.14870779073727888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06307031312992491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452984236374492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476207346041874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05453527089329085,0.05500800415154916,0.1716505283730782,0.0,0.07889768870715738,0.0,0.07268656206534144,0.07118350036459273,0.0844612913314523,0.0,0.0,0.050270376540869716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708189637112521,0.0,0.0,0.07750861576480247,0.0,0.07012978110947866,0.0,0.0,0.07547386686781488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425764189332888,0.0,0.07324975863642445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508022694086489,0.0,0.0,0.07739221276219309,0.0,0.0,0.12273490776905314,0.0,0.14847922039371172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05250925664933942,0.07907244140387787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991945902372829,0.1542153891574471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483819517634827,0.0,0.049285904522279586,0.0475354150418233,0.0,0.05889542428031332,0.0,0.17053186559301844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07246897549763916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817054354503776,0.06121124738255033,0.0437568449059959,0.0,0.178522684759083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06694135672272873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560190646524008,0.5269963000284051,0.08111078218415188,0.0,0.1433201206994886
bipolarreddit,dogmagnet,2019/05/23,Mood Tracking I try to keep mood tracking but I have an issue with only doing so when I'm up. Does anyone have tips?,-0.11893333333333088,2.051380040000001,2.291999999999998,93.47266666666668,88.6,3.333333333333334,16.333333333333336,3.1291,-0.9292666666666664,91,2,19,0,3,31,20,25,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,12,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422655926650936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4283595062553493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5109045712624862,0.0,0.4350847664331847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722822515826664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323343011422416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwawaybipolar1234,2019/04/21,"What was your experience being committed, if you were experiencing extreme mania? My husband is currently going through this now, and I’m afraid he won’t let me bring him in, and don’t know how to move forward. This is his first experience with mania (caused by a prescription for ADHD; family history; meets absolutely every sign of mania). Thank you.",5.9528571428571455,8.170332222222225,7.3049523809523835,65.13171428571431,68.04761904761905,10.754285714285713,31.647619047619052,10.793553405168565,4.182672380952382,282,12,44,9,5,96,55,63,0.0,0.925,0.075,0.5574,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,0,1,2,2,0,1,1,0,8,0,0,2,1,9,13,4,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,4,2,1,0,1,2,1,7,1,7,8,0,8,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,1,4,32,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3427148742277857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929446828355713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24026518578200284,0.0,0.0,0.5578953686750058,0.26882972055852444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425625906799908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16206676808415404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15672012266454655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916022008625238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030869990611389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625431205108358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MADMYNX,2019/04/21,"good luck out there going to my boyfriend's family's Easter dinner anxious af because I hate feeling like an outcast and Im shaking 

good luck to all you other anxious freaks today bc idk how I'm gonna make it out",0.4273333333333333,2.8589858444444483,2.5438888888888904,90.18250000000002,90.55555555555556,3.888888888888889,23.055555555555557,5.46131890053228,0.428555555555556,173,7,33,1,6,58,37,45,0.222,0.491,0.287,0.6808,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,1,0,0,2,8,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,9,6,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,5,4,5,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,2,14,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6040174066088303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16296290968052024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25201651419284865,0.0,0.13517092886030446,0.1909818042426373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15193075331928435,0.4484502562320705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.263934686265262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2887640866830976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060475446995595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784459709893388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533991725563258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,xoMustacheFox,2019/04/21,"Lithium Carbonate To Orotate? I tried to post a little backstory, but it must have been to long? I stopped Lithium Carbonate cold turkey a month ago (please don’t scold me, it was giving me migraines so bad I could barely get out of bed.) and I’ve been struggling ever since (I know, I know, probably because I quit cold turkey) I was only on it for a month. It gave me horrible (toxic side effects) without ever being blood toxic. I drank plenty of water and Gatorade (to make sure if didn’t knock any electrolytes out of whack) it was horrible. It stopped the pacing and the nervousness, but I still struggled to sleep and my anxiety was still awful. (I found myself taking Xanax to knock myself out. I haven’t take my any Benzodiazepines since stopping Lithium just to give you an idea)

My deal now is, I still cry and cry and my mood is horrible. I’m foggy everyday. I take Passionflower to help keep me calm. My question is, has anyone taken Lithium Orotate after they took Carbonate? I need to get out of whatever the hell i’m stuck in. It’s horrible. I’ll think I’m okay and then BAM, suicidal thoughts, depression, dull brain, no emotion, crying, confusion. 

Thoughts?",2.9998707403055214,5.606740522522526,4.067140618879751,83.09480023501764,78.45945945945945,7.104112808460636,27.219741480611052,8.18289091462,2.155870505287897,924,39,165,18,23,299,129,222,0.337,0.604,0.059000000000000004,-0.9979,1,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,1,1,2,8,12,1,4,7,2,17,7,3,2,4,37,41,12,1,4,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,7,11,2,4,9,0,0,1,5,8,0,0,15,2,27,3,22,23,0,26,1,2,0,0,8,8,1,3,16,100,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036207701395322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15398601110858845,0.0,0.08661245359165205,0.0,0.0,0.07916556611348964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453338522049656,0.06901743360884251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263901811916613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039639725393704,0.0,0.3730982496779195,0.0,0.11672412549137175,0.09751561604705487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735647210857262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20482667515772496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124139117150015,0.0,0.0,0.1183048212070974,0.21722053588699275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07588850934157332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781080710386014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10063451477502623,0.0,0.0,0.12444473122282315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347548104950272,0.0,0.10019551652396637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755747610279341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18074112805479894,0.0,0.0,0.08395067537110938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08610837849945553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428079082803828,0.0,0.0,0.1084327914259877,0.0,0.12206955324729805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683152596993474,0.12042266057997955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873123476800904,0.0,0.11330106429862945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27125123451994765,0.2839692099511177,0.0,0.23672278704105665,0.0,0.12384353651486005,0.0,0.1067078491059794,0.0,0.25538046686445176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254635499613325,0.0,0.1797669528593901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12579080670636406,0.07686847189048372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913936368276264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,trevvs_,2019/04/21,"Coming out of a manic episode I’m coming out of a manic episode and starting to realize the severity of everything I just did. I drained my savings, sold every piece of furniture in my house and bought a plane ticket to Hawaii smack dab during the middle of my last semester of college. I don’t remember everything I did in Hawaii but I know that I regret most of it. My parents tracked me down and forced me to come home. My apartment is empty and I have no way to pay bills. Not to mention I had to drop 3 of my 5 classes and will no longer graduate this spring. My boss, my family, my friends, my professors. They all see me as rash and irresponsible. I don’t know how to live with this anymore.",3.925531914893618,4.952994212765958,5.223893617021278,82.72350000000002,71.41134751773049,8.760567375886525,30.41205673758865,9.120678840339163,2.510321418439716,548,23,112,11,10,183,87,141,0.198,0.774,0.027999999999999997,-0.9711,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,5,0,8,1,1,2,1,25,18,9,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,4,12,0,0,4,1,4,3,5,1,0,0,5,1,23,2,22,12,3,15,0,1,1,0,4,7,0,1,3,77,27,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039867768911584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5315448271775819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17330062971440216,0.0,0.3697174091576048,0.0,0.19390391374058474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15891368870665265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063213805400903,0.0,0.0,0.23733581328521156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260809934513507,0.16766280368752445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816258725138145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283916796423254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23300389454254974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16390634463090115,0.0,0.0,0.2323683816594385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14558670454862938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632652009692351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,itsatrap22,2019/06/29,"Guys... I'm getting tired... I'm getting tired of this disease. Let me be clear upfront. I'm NOT suicidal. I have been in the past, but my fucked up brain is nowhere near that right now. I'm 31 and I feel like this disease has just exhausted me. I have a good job, a wonderful girlfriend that I intend to make my wife, a wonderfully cute cat that keeps me in check. I live a pretty ideal middle-class American life. But, I had an episode last night. A very psychotic one. I'm BP I with heavy psychotic symptoms. I blacked out and didn't even remember my gf coming over and making me soup. I should probably mention that, like a great deal of us, I'm an addict. Alcoholic and opiates, to be exact. I was drinking last night. I'm drinking now. Rambling aside, I just feel exhausted by this disease. Even when my life is going well. When I have long periods of sobriety. When I feel financially and emotionally stable, it still finds a way to creep into my life. Life can just feel so exhausting. I just feel so tired...",1.2940666666666694,3.8153353400000007,2.940999999999999,88.81966666666668,85.6,6.533333333333335,24.333333333333336,7.793537801064563,1.5255333333333332,788,32,160,16,24,259,115,200,0.086,0.6920000000000001,0.222,0.9848,1,0,3,0,0,0,39.0,1,0,0,1,15,11,1,0,10,0,15,17,1,3,2,33,37,12,1,2,7,1,5,2,2,1,13,0,0,1,8,9,3,1,9,2,1,2,2,4,1,1,4,6,24,7,15,29,0,24,0,0,1,1,7,8,1,2,15,96,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581698713321066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334118349891915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12883885365825332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941790750785247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11898552862872724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22612121099288696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12982386541202592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15245813130372074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917808962222709,0.08245092709491278,0.0,0.0,0.10548520795537676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10669727349325962,0.12059684860688108,0.0,0.06559175370177404,0.09680278058141463,0.0,0.12724301900213694,0.0,0.11427681677865037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452939511602228,0.10258419918243107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18815367123057053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180174070475587,0.3260778940782548,0.11276972831788992,0.0,0.1019116165074382,0.10213669581712803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15407787985634874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.216614188294558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07820669991579003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11017457644882192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174163088437723,0.12443451824084112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307402035662832,0.09856190025370216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09216881084546832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12624287050718547,0.0,0.0,0.11995808955626118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3979501056950596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13882738751576934,0.0,0.0,0.095227646676296,0.0,0.09160930829896484,0.0,0.0,0.10376996736055592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503205159718834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,aitaforbeingmadddd,2019/06/29,"Help :( I'm 15. I have bipolar type 1 with psychotic features. I had a psychotic break the day I dropped out and my dad convinced me, in my paranoia, that the cops were onto me (I've never done a crime) so I'd leave the country.

A stranger saw me hallucinating at a train station and talked to me so she could take me to the ER. I'm really grateful she did because now I'm pissed at my dad for taking advantage of the situation and stealing my phone. My friends were worried sick.

I know he made this all up because I asked to speak to the cop and he wouldn't let me and was saying I was in places I had never been.

My mom thinks I just am paranoid or blacked out and he is right.",1.3784615384615364,3.0875757777777832,3.1522222222222247,92.19192307692309,79.41666666666667,6.097435897435898,25.66025641025641,7.010146845296331,0.927061538461539,528,21,121,6,13,176,90,144,0.147,0.7609999999999999,0.09300000000000001,-0.7897,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,1,0,10,0,15,3,1,1,3,19,25,9,0,2,2,3,0,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,2,9,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,11,4,22,3,15,11,1,16,0,0,2,0,15,10,1,1,4,78,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035259867311305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654234592898844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17382075232226946,0.0,0.0,0.14040254236024613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227891138598209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168199334461586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459239326686035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196456798102738,0.0,0.0,0.2305195197470228,0.0,0.22261942476300325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059989492102098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549749678362495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3358170137506949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22745672966569525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13946821979300866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18591997644199693,0.0,0.1731287745991475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24471098400533406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3273760623747872,0.1749840639780096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394973957672534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22109129844215333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,no_username_seems_ok,2019/06/29,"Anxiety (paranoia?) I always think my parents are saying bad things about me to each other and that they are disappointed in me. Every time I hear them talking my heart drops and I listen in to see if they are talking about me. Sometimes I just hear my fish tank filter or a fan or the whispering from a distant YouTube video my sister is watching and i think it is them talking about me. 


Sometimes this will evolve into periods of very intense anxiety. I will hide from my parents during these times bc i am really worried that them seeing me will remind them of how they don’t like me and that I am too clingy and take up too much of their time. Once this happened and I was sure my mom was upstairs fuming about how much of a disappointment I was and how I don’t do anything and don’t do my homework. I thought if I could go upstairs to do my homework she would be a bit less angry. But I was too scared and ashamed to go upstairs. I don’t expect my parents to yell at me or hurt me, I only anticipate silent disappointment. I eventually made my mom a nice chia tea and went upstairs to find her asleep. She had a migraine and was not mad at me at all. 


Another anxiety I have is anxiety with going airside around people. Not people I know, but strangers. I don’t exactly think they are all watching me, I just assume there are some of them  that are. I am worried about the way I walk since I tend to have bad balance (or I believe I do but I have no evidence other than not being able to reliably walk in a perfectly straight and even line) and I am really afraid they will think I am drunk (I am not). And then I get nervous and so I start breathing heavier. Then I get worried they will notice my breathing. I also worry about making odd facial expressions since I am so worried about everything. Then I worry about looking like I am paying too much attention to how I am acting. Etc. it’s not always this bad though, this is an extreme but it is one I have experienced. And it’s not every time I go outside. 

How far can anxiety go before it’s paranoia?",2.8618967297762485,4.628217971084343,4.274767641996558,85.53349397590362,75.31325301204821,6.959724612736663,27.03786574870913,7.760100539840176,1.6037793459552496,1618,63,323,23,35,536,181,415,0.172,0.7759999999999999,0.051,-0.9925,3,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,12,1,26,18,2,4,10,0,49,8,5,7,5,63,75,38,0,5,18,6,0,2,0,6,1,6,2,0,17,20,2,0,9,2,1,9,12,13,0,1,9,12,76,5,35,57,10,31,0,4,5,0,29,11,0,8,11,250,93,3,0.07913783133073288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328649512347613,0.13169803053331822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08298291630489965,0.3027011217912045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651236922049634,0.07044944807891751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19823035071521686,0.0,0.0,0.06734046568575874,0.08916123586965274,0.0,0.0,0.08639801529454566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06318511881364698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08825960107473085,0.05226979122728607,0.0,0.13335407216564035,0.0,0.07112397996324109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723305441335924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269250115354734,0.0,0.2248792663864709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06998132288906556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17838817494425216,0.09377871116072027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847186852071083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04349208246628426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773254939638634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645584694568782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07488212947785036,0.052825116928595504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853705431831248,0.0,0.0,0.17452623523099914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009894549205376,0.0,0.0842792075878198,0.05362584261287729,0.06018788681427921,0.0,0.0,0.2636195890855728,0.0,0.0,0.10972841572499199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139544238090464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06293357983416542,0.07923077486836169,0.0,0.1261252111220634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092726372913271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15653867747040456,0.0,0.05601416433607522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458646947145199,0.0,0.05950180033608304,0.19082397340761295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05257565868432098,0.20283330748463213,0.07775251747772881,0.06282659829506168,0.18458362343412654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529699883202329,0.0,0.0628159269474939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07336156249159419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4822098549486436,0.0,0.05621724480204777,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AbortRetryImplode,2019/06/29,"Antipsychotics and blood sugar problems In a new and exasperating twist, my latest antipsychotic has got my blood sugar up well above normal levels and I’m subsequently miserable.  I’ve never had issues with it before, I’m not overweight, I’m active and I eat healthy yet here I am.  Anybody else here have experience with this? Does it go away if you stop taking it?  Is it a side effect that goes away with time?     
My doctor’s initial reaction seems to be “let’s keep you on it and cut out all the carbs and sugar you can.”  I’ve already explained I don’t eat sugar and I already avoid carbs for the most part.  I’m not crazy about the idea of never getting a good night’s sleep again because I’m up to pee every five minutes.",1.7788362068965533,4.251043206896553,3.4064439655172407,86.78139008620691,82.44827586206897,5.556034482758621,21.47629310344828,6.9077264865688965,0.6586637931034485,575,18,112,7,16,190,95,145,0.12300000000000001,0.8140000000000001,0.063,-0.8252,0,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,0,1,6,6,1,2,6,0,9,12,4,1,3,27,21,8,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,11,7,3,4,0,0,1,5,4,1,1,2,4,10,2,15,17,3,19,0,1,0,0,4,9,0,3,9,68,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3704939874852884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154358435428773,0.0,0.0,0.10233104065478923,0.0,0.14284367517553348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17182045772223406,0.14690279982974352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34354263742091223,0.14023253810055686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14143639766803576,0.0,0.0,0.16420754210447094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770432943952586,0.0,0.09540350086475463,0.14080007988351526,0.13425972356267046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18950303153826425,0.0,0.17521103388221282,0.0,0.1492091792500209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17165684952578633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25894097363233304,0.16212838180889966,0.0,0.1575331557244142,0.1644754257057547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18178515782620644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16062742238771993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15282111968728204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16798966885213898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14034552937695824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621617259419055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788543515419812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15093388440002314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fellhound007,2019/06/29,"Medication sensitive and now put on trileptal? As the title says im extremely sensitive to medications. I have bipolar type 2 and PTSD. Lamictal i took in high school, and after being on it for so long (3 years) it made me feel numb and just...gray. the whole world was gray. Afterwards i was taken off medication for a while, till 2016 when i was put on latuda. The lowest dose did great for me, but my insurance changed and i was forced off it beginning 2017. 

End 2018 they put me back on latuda, but a higher dose (40mg) and it made me feel somewhat numb but not entirely gray, but it killed my libido so bad that even after being off of it for months it still hasnt come back. Since then most medications have an adverse affect. Tried welbutrin for about 4 weeks, but it made depression worse, tried abilify for 2 weeks and it spiked anxiety to daily panic attacks. Now they want me on trileptal...but im so scared of medications now. 

If i absolutely have to be on medication, id rather latuda the lowest dose even if i never get my sex drive back. The last psych i saw only raised the dose because i was having really bad anxiety, but i dont think he listened to me when i said the anxiety was from upcoming anniversaries of trauma. The current psych doesnt want me back on latuda purely because i have no sex drive from it anymore. 

They're extremely focused on treating bipolar, but honestly i feel the PTSD is the worse one. Flashbacks, nightmares, constantly on edge and guarded, reliving memories over and over again in my head. 

Im lost and confused what to do at this point.",5.460196078431372,6.284386032679738,6.1874575163398715,77.9525588235294,67.75816993464053,9.780130718954249,30.65947712418301,9.888512548439397,2.9132253594771247,1250,47,237,28,20,410,158,306,0.237,0.725,0.039,-0.9972,3,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,2,1,18,16,2,3,13,0,20,17,1,4,2,38,38,28,1,5,11,0,3,0,0,0,14,3,0,0,13,11,0,1,4,0,0,7,6,13,0,1,15,9,26,3,38,20,3,55,0,2,3,2,6,20,0,5,28,155,39,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20010547703395085,0.0,0.08647127377727963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919376157147304,0.0,0.26818180496656485,0.14560375835686934,0.10630316159898114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223782965606406,0.07510839505754538,0.0,0.09422383686560308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509854937395233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218865703003274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722644546145098,0.0,0.0,0.11517930564763235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13226105058774856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04555434717405004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961297534729586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948439418606906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09212338975940944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.282547747498198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964652960158912,0.0,0.0,0.07107331377497056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771623894689121,0.0,0.0,0.0951806308952744,0.0,0.0,0.24751021984680854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5270220580632899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06959601487097973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724803145873982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059083719026756874,0.06631362828218157,0.0,0.10230130814759412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08242485072917084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038461274272752,0.26295685446705874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05585758224327179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293978797428922,0.0693387696509016,0.08729464400938647,0.08824320282209798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07212632274104899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963183626067393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055869267338150896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687378792406737,0.11839561632430673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285648558137936,0.0,0.139880712684837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734702321629644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777126851575446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0561489444676899
bipolarreddit,yeetthisaccountout,2019/06/29,"Anyone ever taken Fluconazole while on mood stabilizers? #TMI warning!




I have a yeast infection :( and I usually just pick up the over the counter CanesOral pill and think nothing of it. I haven’t needed it since before my BP diagnosis, but I was reading the info with it and it said to talk to a doctor or pharmacist before taking it if you take an anti-epileptic drugs aka in our case, mood stabilizers. I did a fuck load of googling of my medications (lamictal (Lamotrigine) and tomapax (Topiramate)) - But the only info I can find says it’ll increase the serum levels of the drug in my blood and I’m not 100% sure what that means?

My doctor and pharmacy are all closed now so I can’t call. Im going to call in the morning, but I wanted to know if any of you knew any info in the meantime. 

Thank you 🙏🏻",2.8004732142857165,4.7254732437500016,4.8708928571428585,80.49625000000003,75.9375,7.821428571428572,25.80357142857143,8.634040054169528,1.9791071428571443,629,23,122,13,14,217,104,160,0.07400000000000001,0.8859999999999999,0.04,-0.648,0,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,1,3,0,0,4,5,1,0,12,0,8,9,1,1,3,30,22,14,0,4,8,0,0,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,8,8,0,0,8,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,5,2,16,2,17,16,2,15,0,0,0,1,9,9,1,3,4,79,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.222505683966918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114392134115927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27842117833651536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33410547645898153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349007524663415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3794455011494052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479845445782101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495264037924155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15124451957901008,0.0,0.0,0.09297700824188608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17671485384577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990966074602462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17820713062545313,0.0,0.16480865055338156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12130648952105726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15697752852948146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12442431306174018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16364314267651905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556199896086853,0.13010038819845204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13533067626064085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15418999933196126,0.0,0.24601198096881924,0.13149457509181675,0.0,0.15061985975379724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048275503827319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801810427800355,0.0,0.09649485252073506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Thjiiikkmmmmkkllllll,2019/05/22,"Bipolar or just moody? Hi

This is my first time posting here so I’ll give some background. I’m 21 and a male. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety last year. I have in the past engaged in unhealthy coping mechanisms which you can probably guess what I mean from that. And I’ve been taking lexapro for about a year now. 

Anyway:

Here’s my story. I’ve always been more emotional, so to say. As a kid I would be more willing to cry than other kids I guess. Anyway, I had some stuff happen as a kid which sorta brought on a lot of anxiety growing up. I never got help for it and just kinda kept it in and that took a big toll on me and I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety. 

I’ve struggled with self confidence and liking myself a lot growing up. And I don’t know if this is a thing that is normal with depression or if it’s just a combination of the meds and therapy going to work. But I will have days or a week where I feel on top of the world. I’ll be super talkative, super ready to hang out and go out. Sometimes (sorry a little explicit) I’ll be a little bit hornier and masturbate or hookup more than usual. But idk I’m still young that should be normal. 

Other days or weeks Ill just feel more depressed I guess. I’ll have less motivation. I’ll want to isolate myself more. I’ll want to sleep more. I’ll also have days where I get angry really easily at people. And I just don’t like that. 

It’s kind of like a cycle. And I don’t know if it’s me gaining more self confidence bc of therapy and that’s shining through sometimes or if it’s like some sort of bipolar depression. 

I feel as though my mood swings aren’t like THAT drastic though. Like I never get in a “manic” state where I do dangerous things. I mean I’ll drink a little more if we go out and I’m feeling good about myself but that’s it. And sometimes I’ll do some uncharacteristic sexual stuff but idk nothing like super risky. 

Then when I’m depressed I don’t like spend the whole day in bed. I’ll usually have trouble getting up and I won’t want to do things I normally do but I won’t not do them. I’ll tend to isolate myself and not hangout with friends but that’s not that drastic. And I’ll also snap at people quicker but idk if that’s just being depressed and not wanting to deal with people shit. 

I know I can’t be diagnosed over the phone but I was just thinking about it because I was really bad at taking my medication the past couple of weeks and now my medication makes me feel like crap when I take it, and I’ve been feeling moodier than usual. 

I’m sorry if anything was worded in an offensive way too. I just don’t really know how to describe what I’m experiencing any other way. 

Thanks for reading.",1.9117117801408623,3.8902274488330377,3.777087073608616,87.06117266261568,78.82046678635548,6.869893661096532,23.458396630299678,7.882392219407189,1.2249997514155506,2127,71,442,36,52,717,220,557,0.141,0.745,0.114,-0.9658,1,0,1,0,0,0,44.0,1,1,1,8,31,33,4,1,22,0,41,12,3,3,3,108,86,57,0,16,33,0,6,9,1,6,8,1,1,6,34,33,1,1,14,3,1,8,15,15,0,1,13,9,44,17,56,61,17,66,0,7,1,0,16,28,2,25,35,293,78,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10011685337370717,0.05208533189737024,0.0,0.0,0.04256779055017381,0.0,0.14365853457660452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051511615005048465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05226549234043447,0.038158266936338274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683392042184262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926187573607281,0.06875935475171799,0.16147834721938598,0.06453427931924384,0.37740012908503423,0.19060249713573035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06132077387223325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041267698146644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899041344657889,0.04471897734620021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053244580973134684,0.0,0.0,0.048361927917531626,0.0,0.09811231839757564,0.0600483005453883,0.10672516069506352,0.05250300396120791,0.10012833520937316,0.0,0.20687142258105995,0.0,0.05535390946293408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041957138152490636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518465893045719,0.13760567510331087,0.05102453094116532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752335475962416,0.18821451929769628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643467172634304,0.0,0.0,0.041783673401968,0.0,0.0,0.13637195555219378,0.06953063937142658,0.12611884770828954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965566139989749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18399394235773364,0.06006306388577834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11951095183370135,0.13018966787425726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05995017756433964,0.0,0.06748965231029945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06261347484014801,0.0,0.12030283022237012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049779277334339116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306036762898362,0.0,0.06425444397852381,0.0,0.0,0.06264174179789292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18572872208803526,0.1401433928932932,0.0,0.0,0.04998967397273837,0.0,0.0,0.06543948989048833,0.143316113722984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14119441299671753,0.0,0.0,0.05763047962091127,0.14316918698102554,0.0,0.12475906987551752,0.040109332301312105,0.12300155628095097,0.0,0.0365005431381657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954705397541468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20682372027798127,0.0,0.1476842334286893,0.09937243223006148,0.15063349462762568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06988679624333885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045571023240428936,0.0,0.0,0.044466782715168886,0.0,0.0,0.08062023288730788
bipolarreddit,Bogizley,2019/05/22,"Weight gain on Abilify, Lamotrigine and/or Zoloft? I'm on Abilify, Lamotrigine and Zoloft and I've been gaining weight like crazy! I was told none of these would cause weight gain but they definitely have. I don't know which is causing the weight gain, though. Have any of you gained weight on one or several of these meds?",3.187214285714288,6.128703483333332,2.8961904761904758,89.56500000000004,80.83333333333334,7.428571428571428,21.904761904761905,8.418075326091056,1.3884761904761906,259,8,52,6,7,77,41,60,0.025,0.682,0.294,0.9555,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,1,5,1,1,0,0,1,0,7,7,0,2,0,8,10,5,0,1,2,0,5,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,5,4,1,6,6,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,1,28,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851610452292844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2976413928701744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961638891879574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07077583150378533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16091715466856749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981671996247765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636610947625725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14233337011906005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13842884229308722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8820590110101548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029110075281565,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,veiys,2019/05/22,"An Interesting Title is Escaping Me ATM...All That Comes to Mind is “F!*! Me” Disclaimer- I’m a Newb to Reddit, please excuse any breaking of “Reddiquette”. 

That said, today I’m doing my best not to drink. I was recently diagnosed with BPii, and I have been self medicating with damn near everything I could for the last 15 years.

My heart is jumping out of my chest, the jitters are annoying asf, and I can barely pry myself off of my mattress. That’s a result of me day drinking alllll day yesterday. I started the day out ok, then my social anxiety triggered an urge I couldn’t force myself to ignore.

I managed to clean up a nasty mess I made vomiting last night in the tub, so I guess that’s a small victory🤷🏽‍♀️

Any words of encouragement are appreciated. It’s taking all of the self control I have to not Instacart some beer to me rn",2.0147478991596617,4.3046596904761945,4.208165266106445,82.49369747899162,80.07142857142857,7.524369747899161,24.763305322128854,8.4952907291091,1.9047103641456584,660,25,130,15,17,227,109,168,0.094,0.767,0.139,0.7639,0,0,3,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,1,8,2,0,11,1,13,8,2,4,1,21,21,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,2,2,5,7,3,2,0,3,0,2,3,4,0,0,4,1,21,4,22,15,3,22,0,0,0,0,6,7,1,2,12,81,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281531468598404,0.0,0.12832921446515186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760445426835554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445028114223644,0.0,0.0,0.1881472432142619,0.13393568902654476,0.0,0.0,0.3245569530829082,0.0,0.0,0.1702639443219549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3286646392967081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507639685031246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18479686733098075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987859883966787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27347924688627345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15873024844616795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689916930799321,0.0,0.0,0.1693808989266447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15742314431665508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18414045092479853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656340795986424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595698128268764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35000218888349593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17100123048251184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11873516797087935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261280310295453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590085299310512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802627759204536
bipolarreddit,BaronSenjak,2019/05/22,"Is there a mood tracking app like this? (see post) I've looked at several mood trackers and they all go from sad to happy, and track what activities you have done.  I was looking more for something that does depressed - > stable - > manic, and allows me to track my mood/mental experience in the background. It would be helpful to say - I feel stable but anxious, or manic and euphoric, or depressed and scared for example. Any apps like that?

Pacifica kind of does this but I really dislike the interface, it's trying to do too much and I don't like that",3.832096436058702,5.872115962264153,4.6995597484276725,82.34659329140463,73.33962264150944,7.352620545073376,27.815513626834374,8.167268648758528,1.9842444444444447,436,17,80,7,9,141,75,106,0.152,0.6709999999999999,0.177,0.2548,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,1,0,2,11,0,1,3,0,8,0,0,1,1,14,13,10,0,1,4,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,8,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,5,8,5,10,9,3,4,0,3,3,0,4,2,0,2,3,52,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361156732676571,0.0,0.0,0.2261238424845019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34479505344144623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3503227541303057,0.2048331883468406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19579490134182975,0.0,0.0,0.10120691719033796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11375554861904973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130740568137316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416303816095165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20843585307966028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2933642170343997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3361680002663475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14714064096213214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19169796402910472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282276303286288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15917527693044256,0.20039509216411103,0.0,0.15950161631649382,0.0,0.0,0.2261238424845019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15409295767484207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13589551062597274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14218793104114066,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Papa_Shin,2019/05/22,"Officially off the wall. I'm not sure how to quantify my thoughts right now. I've been considering suicide again. I don't think I'll do it, but I'm so disappointed to have fallen back into this hole. I'm proud I've avoided most of the substance abuse from the last time my bp got this out of control though. Been drinking a lot but I haven't turned back to any of the old drugs, so that's something. I've also started the process of covering all my old scars with tattoos which is nice, although it's been a little difficult to not make new ones lately. Not even sure why I'm writing this. I just feel... Numb right now, we'll see where I'm at tomorrow. 

Love ya reddit.",1.4255087358684513,3.554155769784174,2.8835817060637225,92.07260791366907,81.23021582733813,5.9858170606372045,23.597636176772863,7.1686216300943375,0.8034744090441923,528,19,116,7,14,172,90,139,0.19899999999999998,0.711,0.09,-0.9390000000000001,0,1,3,0,1,1,17.0,1,1,0,2,13,9,0,1,7,0,9,4,0,3,3,22,23,8,1,0,6,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,7,3,1,2,3,1,0,1,5,4,0,1,5,2,8,5,14,17,3,23,0,1,1,1,4,9,0,2,13,67,15,0,0.0,0.20252985274851176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13669654249367907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11624156360735212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628767059922494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19171797576015145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16745108318740667,0.19823016460082896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129008601866146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08642979915289505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13671221944700046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13933472191707535,0.19282196283583947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17132163179405793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14532270178461065,0.15427538117800368,0.0,0.11410034363373503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16508994897564422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35873475382583225,0.0,0.1158298821760994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919548659061573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621294912945714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315940031812729,0.0,0.0,0.12098857079184157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18697498848775135,0.0,0.3222081574802121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952815360374296,0.16794262802273968,0.1357031819635153,0.09967348908788183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859280380227001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15424212021961034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,graymal-kin,2019/05/22,"Struggling to do anything... Haven’t showered. House is a wreck. So many other tell tale signs. What are yours, for example?",1.8727272727272712,4.477222181818182,1.5731818181818191,93.57977272727274,99.9090909090909,4.0181818181818185,23.681818181818183,5.985473137389443,0.7555090909090918,96,4,17,1,4,28,22,22,0.24100000000000002,0.759,0.0,-0.6908,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,11,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3720085700234714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5216189402120126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4583199906974188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4725934346038289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3951221795061158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wordvomiter246,2018/11/28,"AD withdrawal Hey all

This is going to sound really weird but here goes. I have recently begun weaning off of the antidepressant that I’ve been on for 11 years (with the guidance of my pdoc). 

For the past two weeks or so I have been experiencing quite bad breast tenderness (I’m a girl, and before you say it, no I’m not pregnant - unless it’s the second coming of Christ). 

I’m only in my first month of weaning and we are taking it very slow. Could this breast pain be a side effect? I’m no where near my period but it feels similar to that. 

Any other ladies experienced anything like this? I will obviously chat to my pdoc about it, but I only see her again in Jan. 

Thanks in advance. ",1.244673913043478,3.69168410144928,3.1650543478260893,87.7327989130435,84.79710144927536,6.348550724637683,18.769927536231886,7.645422480735847,0.6548536231884059,538,14,111,10,16,180,95,138,0.11699999999999999,0.799,0.084,-0.705,0,0,0,1,0,0,17.0,1,1,0,4,5,6,0,0,6,0,9,4,2,1,2,16,19,8,0,1,6,0,1,1,0,1,2,2,0,1,11,5,0,0,2,1,0,3,3,3,0,3,2,6,11,3,18,14,1,21,1,0,1,2,7,8,0,1,11,72,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15868175527475134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19202202840205745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948322888664784,0.0,0.0,0.1985583491461348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010049834878987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18630600122050175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179856138545452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19848207901998194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261463352289987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399997217142155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18625275921881765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3549368814942743,0.24829420755406784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22275301779141274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481898065690069,0.0,0.0,0.14948598472754693,0.0,0.23039880751832684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18556431991486866,0.0,0.0,0.1859447618239504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754454639664623,0.0,0.0,0.214831579120675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22794294271473836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19253303582403872,0.0,0.0,0.18717428539079511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15026572791155834
bipolarreddit,inblued,2018/11/28,"foggy headspace 😴 feel like I've been in this foggy headspace for so long. This time it's been affecting me differently. Usually it would affect my ability to have conversations and be productive in school, but I don't feel like it's had that kind of impact on me right now (I'm not being productive in school anyway but that's just because I'm LAZY lmao).
Just a weird feeling that I don't really know what to do with. I still feel absent but am somehow able to partake in everyday life? seemingly well, no one's confronted me about ""going through the motions"" in a while. Not even my partner.
idk, the first time I mentioned this to my pdoc she was just like ""wow well... it could be a lot of things/a combination of those things."" Like yea Lori... I'm sure it is a mixture of my stress, anxiety, medications, and w**d use lmao
anyway not much else to say abt this, just wanted to get it out somewhere.
hope u guys are having a nice day 💞",1.9314641657334803,4.196707515957448,3.332777155655098,88.79184210526316,80.22340425531915,6.9366181410974255,23.1926091825308,8.032893268588372,1.2664744680851063,735,25,154,14,19,240,116,188,0.092,0.718,0.19,0.9676,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,1,14,14,1,1,7,1,17,2,0,3,1,30,31,7,0,4,10,0,4,4,1,1,2,1,0,2,16,4,0,0,6,0,0,2,6,3,2,2,4,5,12,11,21,22,2,20,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,4,14,100,28,3,0.15567797961374344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190932282951454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489985142177224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429619908908107,0.0,0.0,0.10039941793294413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16265035432743566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13004897580525113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282383730088386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31486185637047925,0.22243275948397886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13241960993131746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133531897652635,0.0,0.08847538341493845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15414567547469465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15462336037392632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16211465939477246,0.08555654626482102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10995996094600907,0.3042255889631412,0.0,0.0,0.13777011305783898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323518511703709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15682918630672915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144412275540146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10549142796405228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09973130010305774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13294814398010768,0.0,0.12380137784541904,0.0,0.3151088532395512,0.0,0.14172338578434254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12432463561697984,0.0,0.17832859966655434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14672465341274182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10342553217854343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18155416368384544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134455790393465,0.17145730052524313,0.0,0.09182290585355568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799463996930003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105891700981613,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sunflowers18,2018/11/28,"Did lithium help your depression? Thinking of trying it, but primarily have issues with depression. Would try a low dose as I don't have full manias, just some hypomanias I think and often the mixed kind although I am no even sure if I do...I don't have great insight perhaps. Anyways, I want to feel more stable and am just curious if it helped you and in what ways. I also want to stabilize the irritability and what feels like some odd thinking. Currently unmedicated and deciding at my next visit in January if I want to try and medication.",5.727434119278778,6.906618553398057,7.103911234396674,70.33883495145632,67.3495145631068,10.545908460471567,33.16088765603329,10.608840637214634,3.7875586685159504,433,19,77,12,7,148,70,103,0.19,0.62,0.18899999999999997,-0.4856,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,0,6,7,0,0,3,0,9,2,0,0,1,28,17,13,0,7,6,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,7,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,2,10,4,9,15,4,9,0,3,0,0,5,5,0,6,3,57,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156398980199842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3368920178324873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12917356265750438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19777431381653285,0.13971678527328396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156189892562514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26217578351805265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041265166272255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036583020312024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09554667528832024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970183690445053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079932035715296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843244398237266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3759442166049478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3983419628460678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.346060569047634,0.15523607202022913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892884634440164,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,osointricate,2018/11/28,"Rapid cyclers? Anyone else rapid cycling? My doc told me it was at least four mood shifts in one calendar year but I’ve sat down and realized just in the month of November so far I’ve had six. I’m even on medication! I’m worried the effects are wearing off. Just wondering how you all deal with rapid cycling or how to predict it or recover from a rapid session of cycling. Anything, really. ",2.4060064935064918,4.87368198701299,3.9481655844155874,83.89939123376625,79.77922077922078,7.486363636363637,30.404220779220786,8.472884824447931,2.682871428571429,311,16,59,7,8,103,60,77,0.046,0.9540000000000001,0.0,-0.5349,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,6,1,0,0,3,0,3,2,1,3,1,13,8,7,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,3,0,11,4,2,9,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,3,2,37,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21609822859818392,0.31666305738443434,0.2543256807884925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186218199614373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25817554060987197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20412771125926327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3113400909729521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466845089662298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094234597057616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19798835139148133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953150052857849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3351566332974683,0.0,0.3138600446075116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19902109080041352
bipolarreddit,InnerAnguish,2018/11/28,"Lol im fucking crazy. When did it hit you that you were unstable It really just hit me today i had a bipolar episode yesterday and told this girl im barely talking to, to delete my number and give me my chain back that i left, and as soon as i got it back i texted her saying i fucked up and she surprisingly agreed to talk to me tomorrow literally everytime i start talking to a girl i go full bipolar, one day im ghosting the next day im borderline clingy idk what the fuck to do LOL.",0.7657016769638147,2.9033013689320413,3.069585172109445,89.73285083848194,83.85436893203881,6.8522506619594,22.955869373345102,8.00094639256281,1.2578815533980583,383,14,85,8,11,131,65,103,0.136,0.752,0.11199999999999999,-0.5514,0,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,5,4,3,0,4,2,4,5,0,0,0,5,14,7,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,7,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,5,1,16,1,9,7,1,15,0,0,0,3,12,3,3,0,11,51,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23128613954579594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939823146889532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4171082057546619,0.0,0.14427083919934916,0.08547190821009128,0.0,0.1202831621968311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6498017543421423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16340262668077213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15994484974235573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019103088325532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09634572012086202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195986905630054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644906463653467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3626410162542588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14255514663138494,0.14370712542828573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,msandiford0516,2019/10/16,"Does anyone ever feel like they kind of forgot how to live? I constantly find myself reminiscing about when I was younger.  I did so much more, and was a lot more active.  I was able to be content alone.  I kept myself preoccupied with tv, books, crafts, and exercising.  These last few years I have found myself kind of doing less, and as of late kind of nothing. I will be good for a couple of months then it's like I forget to live. I'll mainly just sleep. Eat. Work, and take care of my kid. Pretty much doing the minimal daily thing. So I guess I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through the same thing..",1.6776355611601517,4.035706549180329,2.9650819672131132,90.51945145018915,81.86885245901641,5.7210592686002535,17.581336696090798,7.010146845296331,0.05533720050441372,477,10,99,6,13,154,83,122,0.052000000000000005,0.8290000000000001,0.11900000000000001,0.8437,0,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,1,8,7,0,0,4,0,12,3,1,1,1,20,21,11,0,1,3,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,5,1,2,4,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,1,15,7,14,9,9,9,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,10,71,19,2,0.15204022862718908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15746782392393066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126201259350528,0.15578318151151913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550151460354799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16430147386522748,0.0,0.0,0.16822962112461845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13305142865267344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555751107703022,0.12701010164199614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13752909126065346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687610789163059,0.108617569710338,0.0,0.0,0.13896201452426804,0.0,0.0,0.16670426308872754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12752413027269768,0.0,0.0,0.16748945299978887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4749795046034398,0.0,0.12393307887015538,0.17150800029768964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14855835171730938,0.0,0.26850861476784743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12925916536880871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213570599418306,0.0,0.22353412402780806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458866999154298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546795719627015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15215003026199048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143153302877303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020175441296161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488114234425266,0.11068709723097707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979089224012064
bipolarreddit,ChewyMagoo22,2019/10/16,"What types of jobs do you all have? I am struggling with finding a job I don’t completely hate some days. Some days I enjoy my job and others I completely hate it and I’m so irritable and on edge. I know that’s part of bipolar. 
Is there a job you have that you don’t have this issue with? I’m just curious if there are things I can look into",0.025099999999998342,1.9754890266666685,2.3835833333333305,94.671375,85.4,5.883333333333333,18.708333333333336,7.1686216300943375,0.14463333333333314,267,7,64,4,8,91,47,75,0.198,0.731,0.07200000000000001,-0.8919,4,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,3,0,0,4,4,2,1,2,0,10,1,0,0,1,13,16,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,10,1,6,16,4,4,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,3,2,47,17,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37448842097632257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23034662222558155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16322453185309044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3526337570575498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18639757228299372,0.7088769037318846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09814629331093727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996741192180196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19339142829706016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18669704905958345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11864472165128648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Surrealinsomniac,2019/10/16,"It's that time of year again. It's much easier and feels so much better to destroy everything good in your life than to put everything you've got into keeping it together, and having to sit with the empty, lonely sadness alone. It's always easier to find someone who's up for a thrill ride into a car crash than it is to find someone to wait out the night with. But you've got to keep making progress. Can't give up on what youve accomplished.",5.9924175824175805,5.4467878021978064,6.549758241758244,80.5202417582418,66.58241758241758,9.917362637362636,29.18901098901099,9.3871,2.281886153846153,354,10,72,6,5,116,62,91,0.149,0.6579999999999999,0.192,0.6682,0,3,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,3,2,6,1,0,4,0,3,1,0,1,0,15,11,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,7,0,3,3,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,2,1,1,3,20,9,2,15,0,2,0,0,3,7,0,0,4,43,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20573935182828174,0.0,0.0,0.1652909954758701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17568795576855625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3570639106058849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10044236476110648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3631212280013012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905612004803716,0.0,0.16661646329376212,0.3177538012949576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3531348243292318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031091137899535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13259903930071007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920581782548837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18641763044468573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19969604184635192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3366275017877149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11583320852414422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279227573676305
bipolarreddit,natmarisel,2019/10/16,"Requesting part-time hours due to mental health when employer said nope, never when hired Back story: I got fired from my job as a community pharmacist and approached a former employer not even an hour after the firing happened and they hired me (they are aware I was fired). When they hired me they were very clear about it being a full-time position and that I was not to request going part-time. Because I was (obviously) desperate for a job I agreed and was hired. My intentions was to be full-time, circumstances have changed so I don’t feel I mislead them. Point to note: it’s a very small company with no HR and no union. 

Since then: my mental health has suffered, to the point of 2 instances of near mental breakdown (I considered hospitalizing myself once) from trying to manage working full-time while parenting three young kids. (I deal with bipolar disorder, ADHD and undiagnosed anxiety, my employer is aware of this). My psychiatrist has strongly advised me to go down to part-time. He’s written a letter stating his recommendation. 

As a result: I want to go part-time, hopefully three days a week. I’m really anxious about approaching my employer to request this. I don’t want them to think I was misleading and I don’t want to be let go as a result of my request. I also know that I can’t really keep working full-time. I know that going part-time would place a lot of stress on the rest of the staff (I’m a pharmacist in a small pharmacy, I’m not easily replaced). 

What complicates things: I live in a small town and no one else is hiring pharmacists at the moment so I have no solid back-up plan. I also need to be employed for insurance purposes (I pay over $700 a month for psychiatric meds I can’t go without). 

What should I do? How to I approach them?",4.9403231292516985,6.128340839650147,5.946432215743442,77.88464346452868,69.17492711370262,9.681681243926144,30.035106899902807,9.928628108626363,2.9577153547133133,1400,54,264,34,24,464,174,343,0.115,0.836,0.049,-0.9625,8,0,0,0,0,0,53.0,0,0,7,4,12,4,0,1,20,0,27,3,0,4,3,34,50,21,0,7,4,1,4,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,10,10,0,1,4,0,1,9,15,2,0,3,10,5,42,2,41,33,2,41,0,1,0,0,19,14,0,2,17,174,52,18,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147472979211521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527091691098409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304123369000465,0.10786418162923098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468350355396319,0.0,0.05820316002909914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100420494474056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06157610682453505,0.09843473742785692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10942729584333057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797605184519489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306303084323242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04827709089854758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255777636562753,0.0,0.07636334123037179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443183376442367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20297959121618506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483226847303566,0.18805531898974667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894965054312508,0.08486619194068618,0.0,0.0,0.10494560906437736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976338266386304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430977554472233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811728981490196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10605573196006028,0.0,0.28866136252934044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07621048950931711,0.0,0.0,0.07079652687273512,0.0736393514127136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10168210246799997,0.06469909458763679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601821745116184,0.5169726880608321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09975531531272257,0.0,0.18051718143481896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233268509578832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09082246811167988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898128036199373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10937096179453416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06343205716654524,0.06117913820584025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06482402686820457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575604782276151,0.16894810277348693,0.0,0.07658755753749885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09203842446393186,0.0,0.13901981254953752,0.0,0.0,0.06782559791481227,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lindzilla2,2019/10/16,Do you ever feel like bipolar disorder ruined your life in some way? Before I was diagnosed bipolar I was successful a few years prior. I had a really stable job with a large clientele. Fast forward to going through my manic breakdown which ended me up in the hospital for 12 days and a long month out of work I ended up losing a ton of  my clients because of this time off work. Its two years later and I'm still not as successful as I used to be. I feel like my life has been changed so much in ways that I'm completely different. It might be a little dramatic but I think bipolar has ruined my career and my life. I'm scared I will never make as much money or be as successful ever again.,2.6503191489361697,4.408213269503548,4.4747695035460975,83.90875000000003,75.87943262411348,7.536879432624112,25.22517730496454,8.344100000000001,1.7281815602836883,545,19,107,10,12,185,91,141,0.09699999999999999,0.7959999999999999,0.107,0.1397,2,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,6,5,9,0,1,7,0,12,7,0,2,3,18,21,10,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,2,7,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,0,1,2,2,4,0,1,4,2,16,5,19,12,5,28,0,3,0,0,2,9,0,3,19,77,21,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09384233679872556,0.0,0.13099431208376752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16285147771655364,0.0,0.16140650070417853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09928061899892276,0.0,0.0,0.15624909241581114,0.0,0.1608378633111902,0.1764322271569032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726959385121939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2785008487051557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556765997412911,0.2199540844146841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748945972444579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15276485740611254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262038728683203,0.15041772855568392,0.1542915138136998,0.0,0.13623487451958316,0.0,0.17222304700489846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275827145444524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16330939196999267,0.0,0.0,0.12287598165724148,0.0,0.2263319079827253,0.0,0.11873047465904984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861994632689952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541239839085315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293922649146308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864057707000587,0.0,0.0,0.08976550922039472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503801230402606,0.0,0.0,0.13295748494446652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24438586976185225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241449444402498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19826872798034995
bipolarreddit,hyacinthX,2019/10/16,"I got into medical school! When I was fifteen years old, I wanted nothing more than to be dead. I had gone through eight months and counting of  unrelenting misery, the kind that makes you want to slam your head into a wall, tear your skin off, anything to stop it. Today I might call it mixed depression, but at the time I had no name for it. I just knew that it had to end. A completely coincidental set of events was all that prevented me from going through with the very lethal suicide attempt I had planned.

The incredible high that followed was almost worth all that pain, but it was chased by another depression. Hypomania through most of my freshman year of college. Then my sophomore year rolled around. Things were fine for a month, then my brain just stopped. Yet another depression, far more impairing than the previous episodes. I was fired from my job. I withdrew from my fall semester courses. I spent winter break practically catatonic, unable to eat, sleep, or follow a simple conversation. Finally, my family and school arranged for me to see a counselor, then a psychiatrist. 

Diagnosis: bipolar II. Meds. Therapy. Sleep schedule. Exercise schedule. Every possible kind of schedule. More therapy. Eventually...something resembling stability? I had almost forgotten what it was like to live life off the roller coaster, to feel grounded. I could finally start thinking clearly about my future, reviving my old dreams and aspirations.

Fast forward to today. I am twenty-one years old, in my senior year. Earlier today, I received a phone call. I have officially been accepted into medical school for next year's class.

I'm going to be a doctor!",4.8744367816091945,7.94245331724138,5.3917241379310346,73.62402298850576,74.44827586206897,8.970114942528738,32.77011494252873,9.473421319101043,3.8724735632183904,1322,67,207,37,30,423,177,290,0.14400000000000002,0.772,0.085,-0.9694,2,0,1,0,0,2,52.0,0,3,0,2,6,9,0,0,14,0,19,13,5,1,3,32,35,10,3,3,5,0,3,1,0,1,7,0,0,0,13,8,1,3,4,3,2,8,1,4,0,1,17,4,30,5,38,14,6,57,0,3,1,0,9,13,0,5,37,135,43,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18404006610021592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927208132989033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562213697487849,0.08180644604211262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258572961953233,0.18767108680339092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963506457519604,0.0,0.0,0.0733710505028063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374482857884843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940589014774022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403200152888157,0.0,0.0,0.08139210519699522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742589194519972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663086509132385,0.0,0.0464651078119636,0.0,0.0,0.20133397827092456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445261998945317,0.0,0.07349719747213973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431125803553304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970926032604268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119206844253236,0.0,0.0,0.1913899692648603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06490848398408484,0.04489548195287789,0.0,0.08114537842639215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06134093588421821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020751442947688,0.18515002442799336,0.0,0.09748656531813073,0.0,0.0,0.1467001654633451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773186862953406,0.0,0.0,0.08817617626347092,0.0,0.28928649335853257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778325294225172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359832825509394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790093472812172,0.07322878716274027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18392365986276935,0.0,0.0,0.07074561789052722,0.0,0.0,0.06504408249188907,0.0,0.0,0.1536574456320163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005187225167006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21018094399486434,0.0,0.061051263034302576,0.05888290283586476,0.0,0.0,0.05358498413573922,0.0,0.26131846481118115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582338197568295,0.10840465134202956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3550659959168289
bipolarreddit,lylahpapaya,2019/09/04,"Need guidance? I’m a seventeen year old girl recently diagnosed and to be honest with you, this disorder is hell. It’s hell on earth and I am so mad at it. I wish it would stop being here.

I need some guidance from one bipolar person to the next. What are some symptoms I should look out for, how can I manage this better because most days I’m so anxious I can barely breathe. 

The medication journey is so tough. Everything is so tough. I just want to curl in a ball and honestly, sometimes I want to die.",1.9097058823529385,4.0684935000000015,3.5429019607843166,87.82905882352941,79.68627450980392,6.825098039215686,25.88627450980392,7.908726449838941,1.5961262745098042,395,16,81,7,10,131,70,102,0.24600000000000002,0.624,0.131,-0.9397,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,1,0,1,7,8,3,0,4,0,11,5,1,1,0,18,19,8,1,7,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,6,5,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,5,0,1,0,1,9,3,11,15,3,11,2,0,1,0,3,4,2,3,6,55,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418854993697443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13052062525193758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893645735033771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380844606942351,0.0,0.0,0.21731906869391185,0.22221434544177385,0.0,0.2453907840392102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19242996723806374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798000682350136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21569521077048529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3175225176253377,0.0,0.0,0.2277104317773294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246744186713672,0.0,0.14508776283952068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18695425000229451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21140966788767596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21176214121234546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17900713340138846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22254424322930452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525774888980764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24621811509904085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520989486395904,0.0,0.0,0.13788104189799466
bipolarreddit,yhjkojgcvn,2019/09/04,"Is this mania/hypomania or just happiness? I was previously depressed for several years. At my worst point, I was considering suicide. However, I have noticed that a few months ago, the depression just suddenly switched to a sense of overwhelming joy. I don't exactly know when the change happened, but I do know that none of my life circumstances have changed, yet I'm still happy. I'm just as lonely as before and my parents may get a divorce soon but I still can't seem to feel too sad. I'm more restless. I find myself irritated that the people around me aren't as happy as I am and don't see the joy in the world that I see. I feel myself wanting to sleep less. Before, sleep was an escape, but now my mind keeps jumping from one thing to another and I find myself getting distracted from sleeping. I'm more impulsive, too. I recently shaved of all my hair (I'm a girl). Is this a sign of mania/hypomania or am I just paranoid after years of depression?",3.4102659574468066,5.356912632978727,4.935053191489363,80.60875000000001,74.2659574468085,8.529787234042553,28.77127659574468,9.188382445141503,2.6278446808510645,757,32,145,18,16,254,105,188,0.177,0.7120000000000001,0.111,-0.9052,2,2,0,0,1,1,25.0,0,0,0,0,13,14,0,3,11,0,15,5,4,0,2,27,32,13,1,1,9,1,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,7,4,0,1,7,0,0,1,5,9,0,1,3,5,22,5,20,28,7,19,0,6,2,0,3,5,0,4,13,103,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211912058712344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13262794821691207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259625676916615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152546136859791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676034658791223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32681762195457525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279067228347653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23120545984679386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13216379044360074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184807285127883,0.4039289766661552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242347341734622,0.0,0.0,0.13902296805260472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933834291501985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12771128695161568,0.0,0.10095713906265302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14400118493320455,0.0,0.0,0.08570782751255307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14044386791509847,0.0,0.0,0.08768705226764106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956686216459182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248862274473466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20158038201600845,0.11514493393187025,0.0,0.14288924339332865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3797215861419853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20201820433508905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383513456234567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08402936469277174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07460266609794823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16290118925212965
bipolarreddit,Gia0,2019/09/04,"Does Lamotrigine cause dehydration? I’ve taken Lamotrigine, 300 mg daily, for about a year. Prior to taking it, I had awful mood swings and was finally diagnosed with Bipolar 2 disorder. This medication has been a godsend for me, but it makes me feel tired all of the time. On line, I found a couple of comments saying that Lamotrigine causes dehydration. I’ve up-ed my intake of water to see if it helps, but I’m wondering if any one else has heard that Lamotrigine causes dehydration. Additionally, and tips to combat fatigue while taking this med would be greatly appreciated.",5.4069123931623935,7.9284767211538485,7.2974358974359,63.3253418803419,70.25,10.006837606837607,29.824786324786324,10.25414643259724,3.7675696581196574,465,19,72,14,9,162,76,104,0.121,0.782,0.09699999999999999,-0.1557,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,1,7,6,0,4,1,17,17,7,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,7,4,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,6,4,5,1,11,9,1,6,0,1,1,0,4,1,0,3,5,43,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12467121112377486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5649936085483716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20285201137096207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18607687372700865,0.0,0.0,0.210112946875126,0.0,0.16043399335710226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531493348809484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09269754641268874,0.0,0.0,0.2008298987570088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20101272799403455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021228225074753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228827515159156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237471339001263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20363915788461756,0.18468646464977465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12422967523042765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14579198764905105,0.0,0.0,0.1460908887639608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756838483542005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690164701752712,0.2107117524953902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988144010435452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13023291987268076,0.0,0.0,0.11805900594364314
bipolarreddit,BlueSpirit8,2019/09/04,"What is a good amount to text someone you're interested in? When it comes to relationships I've been told I'm either too clingy or too distant. Idk if it's this disorder that does that to me, but who knows. When it comes to getting too know someone who I think I'm interested in what is too much texting? Also when can yall tell you overshare even if it's after the fact?",4.18346153846154,4.540473500000001,5.319641025641027,84.7086923076923,70.41025641025641,8.291282051282051,28.42051282051282,8.238735603445708,1.6634482051282051,295,10,65,4,5,98,52,78,0.043,0.852,0.105,0.6836,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,0,9,3,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,1,11,13,8,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,11,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,3,7,11,3,8,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,3,4,43,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20675666786405994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.445423639719726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963125684439826,0.0,0.2262526386135591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17076515049566768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13507799699204834,0.0,0.0,0.21685352238055325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841768384124705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19005878363578896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27757832318291065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4381251291124058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22597789486780104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16566385413486204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470488255129911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CasioCasio11,2019/09/04,Doctor suggested I try Lithium- I'm concerned about the long-term side effects on dementia and hair loss. Can any one share any information they have on their experience with lithium and it's long-term side effects? Can it cause dementia? How are people handling with hair loss? I'm already struggling with a receding hair line as it is.,3.813732718894009,6.843844612903229,4.232027649769584,80.49661290322581,78.6774193548387,7.4138248847926285,31.43778801843318,8.418075326091056,2.981075576036867,274,14,46,6,7,86,43,62,0.13,0.8340000000000001,0.036000000000000004,-0.6946,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,2,4,2,4,0,1,2,0,5,4,3,4,0,10,7,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,3,3,1,7,7,0,4,0,2,0,0,5,4,0,0,0,24,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3218809065712253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3967106874797573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996401506123252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985512670502469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.285323240342833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5162628989016668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19765284792621854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022171849405002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049317886511055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980345104704864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BadIndividualist,2019/09/04,"How to help my bipolar sibling? My brother was diagnosed with bipolar a little over a year ago.  It seems like they are still in a state of trying to figure out the right medication to treat him.  I’m not sure how many they’ve tried but I know he recently started taking lithium.  It doesn’t seem like the therapy or medications are helping yet.  He’s constantly angry and pushing everyone away.  My family and I are trying to be very patient and understanding but it can be hard some days.

What I’m most concerned with is that he is making decisions that I know he’ll probably regret but he can’t think long term at the moment.  I know everyone is different, but how do you think I can continue to help and support him?",3.5188297872340435,5.492441113475177,5.06058510638298,79.70875000000002,74.0354609929078,8.67163120567376,28.77127659574468,9.2995712137729,2.7370468085106383,571,24,107,14,12,192,91,141,0.077,0.792,0.131,0.7737,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,1,0,6,6,0,0,6,0,14,5,0,4,1,31,29,12,0,1,6,1,1,2,0,1,5,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,10,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,1,12,5,13,25,3,21,0,1,0,0,13,7,0,5,14,68,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13200469997547412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399111141675472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609248672256669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603824661482084,0.0,0.0,0.15114620579606197,0.0,0.1555851135642953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845904870105079,0.0,0.0,0.14038438051693286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333991332833337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994449757898377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455203683107328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14550528648928646,0.14925255909589885,0.0,0.13178562551864093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09940232358706183,0.15097705160996056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000336133619191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605562103931893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14703619595772255,0.0,0.0,0.12717311416159802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271134350283478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054032326387402,0.0,0.1189241955930045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16898766535586926,0.1403511966407852,0.0,0.11196600319910216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17029797398466848,0.0,0.0,0.1908382152004966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3033117649029647,0.0,0.0,0.1550263980009694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12287097094244613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589676809927164
bipolarreddit,CajunWoof,2019/09/04,"How does your hypersexuality manifest? That's it, that's my question",3.942499999999999,7.197274916666673,7.400000000000002,52.69500000000002,91.5,9.066666666666668,31.0,8.841846274778883,4.1432,57,3,9,2,2,21,10,12,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,6,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6156125631679743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7880489655280036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,crypticcalamity,2019/09/04,"Let's just fuck this shit up I'm feeling so much right now that I can't seem to untangle the emotional threads into some semblance of coherency. 

I am medicated and have been having adjustments (and will continue to), but I don't think they've been helping. It actually may have made all this worse. But I won't give up! 

What I've done this last week: tried to get high on gabapentin (I'm in recover, so that's a relapse in my book), decided to try out having a sugar daddy, decided to tell my halfway house I tried to get high on gabapentin (immediately gets you kicked out), scared off said sugar daddy.

I decided last night the best thing to do was to call the house management and let them know I had been trying to get high on this substance that did nothing for me and can't be tested for. Well, maybe it helped push me into this different state of mixed (its a really sucky one). Regardless, I told them knowing it would get me kicked out that night and stayed the night with a friend. Now I'm sitting in my car, so overwhelmed and sleepy. I want to give up but I have so much nervous energy. 

I've been told I should check myself into an inpatient for emergency med management but I don't feel like that is going to help, it'll just be stop gap meds that if they help only help short term. Maybe that's an excuse. I'm just so so so scared that, no matter how hard I try, I won't find stability. I got fired from a job recently and I've been so scared of trying to get new employment. Sometimes I find myself passing out during the day others I am so distracted and hyper I can't get anything done. 

I have a lot of good friends where I have been living, but I'm starting to think it might be best for me to move back in with my family and get disability until I'm stabilized. I know it can take years to qualify for it even. I'm scared of moving back to my family because I don't know if I will have the willpower not to use drugs. That place is just seeped in misery. I moved to this town two hours away to get into an environment better for my recovery /addiction and I just feel so defeated. I've been apart from my daughter for the past 8 months just to have all the progress I'd made slip through my fingers. Maybe I'll never be able to be a good, stable, reliable mom. 

Regarding the sugar daddy thing, I know it's for the very best not to proceed due to how jealous he's been acting after just two dates, but I am mourning the easy income.

Oh, of course I can't forget to mention that it feels like I'm using my mental health as an excuse to go crazy. Logically I know what's not the case, but my asshole emotional brain says otherwise. I need everyone around me to reassure me that my moods changes are legit and can fuck up my functioning. 

Oh, and I'm broke and can't get gas to get anywhere really. I might have to ask my mom who is already in a financial struggle for help. 

Mixed episodes man. They suck.",3.954438779672081,4.755950627090304,5.055483318378332,84.79540215351987,71.15719063545151,8.710400522065422,26.79272371319031,8.979522561349006,1.864392234276857,2297,73,489,43,41,758,266,598,0.145,0.721,0.134,-0.9271,5,0,1,0,0,0,59.0,0,1,4,6,28,29,5,8,24,0,58,12,3,6,3,85,111,36,1,7,19,3,7,2,2,10,4,2,0,1,33,24,3,1,20,1,1,9,15,16,1,3,19,12,57,12,75,75,10,72,0,4,0,2,32,33,4,8,29,311,90,7,0.06043969603664435,0.0,0.05898042480079585,0.065888189914145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06669670750468704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049736720042306996,0.053804143432290084,0.05650295703502621,0.0,0.05678508397955826,0.09294879106478016,0.0,0.03684347772296159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19028319647260986,0.05345399956461076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06747068938447807,0.06171568721653909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06393718438906887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03897860389233534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314661842473486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237015865194926,0.0,0.0,0.07009085906897618,0.0,0.0,0.13597304616107903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03991984921185448,0.0,0.0,0.05775271964928555,0.0,0.0,0.1139543328563009,0.0,0.12224050530320045,0.08635626185000203,0.0,0.0,0.1104815744401554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339111846152606,0.11175105014718156,0.3473497128495533,0.11595852752625142,0.06869854418193345,0.10138789898716268,0.04833914619181312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0541420960826817,0.0,0.0,0.06424457059934925,0.0,0.0,0.2430687254354931,0.19157357169687647,0.0,0.0,0.05952092594645335,0.1394785888747287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059977072318279576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19929645784281666,0.09853283809727384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12360736822431767,0.0,0.05905556511307044,0.0,0.0533693589069196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051383668226371436,0.0,0.1143790035211724,0.0,0.0,0.1821593949483056,0.0,0.13426975428513846,0.060886635178403765,0.060908998036717676,0.1282339325778286,0.0,0.1415724830430726,0.04824238874811455,0.1927134955744863,0.08886026173498036,0.04481526878256408,0.046614819572531836,0.05837303505577555,0.0,0.17015568129928876,0.0,0.05799351841477655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04095550222605801,0.04596711235287905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057696528761133625,0.0,0.0,0.06314661842473486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743843385588274,0.0,0.059676908336927126,0.0,0.0,0.05161517017840567,0.05749199148197622,0.04806407216010862,0.2420427180916146,0.0,0.0,0.05502202931552919,0.0,0.0,0.06204047943984535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059776404819267236,0.0,0.04277952793614515,0.06442067421761816,0.0,0.050530292197074514,0.0,0.06318469316241808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04544312960657747,0.0,0.052826958323465324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030689687531757,0.07745463354463683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155054392985711,0.0,0.2462075174582227,0.0,0.1180816015929669,0.0,0.0,0.10440098364470778,0.0,0.049869078987257884,0.0356488986609406,0.0,0.04848107849433123,0.0,0.054342545252636924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06159321376902901,0.042934625964837214,0.0,0.0,0.038921182654326016
bipolarreddit,biplar80,2019/09/04,"Bipolar and cheating So in my 25 years of bipolar the last 7 I have been extremely committed never thought if cheating or going astray. Recently I wuit on and off opiate pain use and my mind has changed. I am a musician and singer and recently came in contact with an old friend who is a highly sought after guitarist in Arizona where I live. He was in mental health crisis and I'm an experienced mental health advocate and sufferer so we clicked and bonded so well.
I have been with my partner for 7 years and being that he has nothing to do with music and my life was music before him, i gave it up for the past decade.
D the guitarist and I started getting high on each other by talking, playing, and enjoying music, something I haven't felt since my last band in 2006. A total high on life! I crave being with him everyday to do music stuff. Well after a month, this music mania, I am now in love with him and my partner. I AM SO CONFUSED!. We have kissed that's it and just get lost in each other. But I am about to do a handfasting in November with my partner.
My partner and I do not kiss and never have made out in 7 years. And I get this from D. And it is so amazing. I have this intimate connection with music which I gave up but realize I can't live without. I am a wreck. I love these 2 guys for total different reasons. It's like I'm in a mania but it's so damn amazing I don't want to stop. I really needed a place to get this off my chest. I'm lost.
I'm actually tempted to stop the handfasting cause I love D so much and have not felt so intimate or loved in like 12 years.
Any words or suggestions I will take into consideration. 
Thanks.",2.176225490196078,3.9838684852941206,4.100588235294119,85.8493137254902,77.38235294117645,7.121568627450981,25.450980392156865,8.021203637495839,1.5447568627450976,1295,48,266,22,30,440,157,340,0.068,0.757,0.175,0.9908,1,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,2,0,0,2,14,24,3,1,14,0,29,14,1,4,5,65,57,34,0,3,11,0,2,2,5,1,7,0,0,5,17,33,0,2,6,2,0,2,8,8,2,0,13,4,37,16,43,41,5,47,0,3,1,6,24,25,1,5,22,188,54,0,0.0,0.0,0.09815923582771957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840319023082903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559285536667825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504570841297715,0.0,0.10333143456930434,0.10640861237951474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509289871362427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931602288265718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771392671586637,0.0,0.21021200905182613,0.0,0.057166395648649414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959779016031788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21384037084883836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31882977218398234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639850530787345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14209635246154226,0.09828428944775776,0.0,0.17764183640969095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21960705052879706,0.0,0.3631378628835026,0.0951786598544712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027377972440648,0.0,0.10156505847246332,0.0,0.08028826564088776,0.0,0.07394364669987191,0.07458461942191688,0.15515910856664464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965167590735704,0.0,0.10555003239308622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10703256894988657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960224886855766,0.0,0.0,0.10509289871362427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06443915516598901,0.10342106710739964,0.19863674223094413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320731252599987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743744452071014,0.0,0.0,0.07119660099881017,0.0,0.0,0.16819190044725782,0.0,0.0,0.11514902774412815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562954812325247,0.08084870708889301,0.0,0.0926077818381629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985552054456392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687561007604414,0.0,0.0,0.059329322609601276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18088112226889672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696310206255174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591011210762378
bipolarreddit,thesnowfj,2019/09/04,"Bad experience with uk doctors. Has anyone else just been messed about by uk doctors? Ive spent 5 years yo yoing between them, being told ""you dont need a label"" and just throwing random medication at me. I found someone who took me seriously, diagnosed me (privatley, as the NHS wouldnt do shit as i wasnt basically sick enough).

But now im being dismissed by my gp, saying my psychiatrists letter isnt detailed enough, and that she doesnt know what dosage of medication to put me on. Spoke to me like i was dirt. Took me off mirtzapine, told me she'd ""refer me to mental health services"" and kicked me out the door. I told her I didnt need mental health services I needed the appropriate medication, and she all but shrugged and was like not my issue. I felt humilated.

Would love suggestions on what the fuck to do know lol. Ill be completely unmedicated soon and god knows the mental health team are gonna be zero help. Ive been down that road before.",4.867717121588086,6.030017053763441,5.913655913978496,78.14817617866007,69.32258064516128,8.948883374689826,27.748552522746078,9.265573868473778,2.236654755996691,756,25,147,15,13,251,116,186,0.08,0.792,0.128,0.8768,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,1,1,5,8,2,0,6,1,22,14,1,0,1,26,40,10,0,5,5,0,1,2,0,3,11,2,1,0,5,8,0,0,6,1,1,4,7,5,0,1,15,3,27,3,18,17,3,14,0,0,0,2,17,7,2,1,5,92,32,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935953791616365,0.11629079086934968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476501131810837,0.0,0.0,0.09657733999641883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11899914010137636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11519677062561245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323373820141356,0.0,0.0,0.13301729775818627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09481193685373586,0.0,0.0,0.2345448801173572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102155978773127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897463937411966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444328333637725,0.0,0.10492587867954856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3619250832085549,0.0,0.0,0.07607445168597754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225959219355985,0.11846107690503375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18712446933910576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089751822904884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10243521114884503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430079818053281,0.3431339641145029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524691150057675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11409554062319915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025713848191193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650274087541393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616539328971158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253529079514112,0.2521980397388324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062480574822453,0.0,0.0,0.0730881595094408
bipolarreddit,CircleSquareshapedbe,2019/09/04,"The guilt and embarrassment I’ve caused harm to my friends, family, everyone. I am a toxic damn person.

One thing that plays over and over in my head from months ago is how I threatened to kill a family member. I was able to cool off but totaled my car after leaving. I’m still struggling with anger bouts but I am finding ways to redirect it. But this memory haunts me like no other.

I have punched holes through the god damn wall. The good parts are just as embarrassing. I am struggling with this now. I told someone I had just won several million dollars in my bank account from (insert job). It was not a lie, for some reason it felt real when saying it but I knew it wasn’t that true.

I hate this, the relationships, the interaction. I wish I was a fucking rock. I just want to be inanimate, not drowning in emotional shit.",2.5015740740740746,4.832694882716055,3.7278858024691353,86.36923611111116,78.56790123456791,7.012962962962964,24.939814814814817,8.07648339933343,1.5688259259259256,649,24,129,12,16,211,107,162,0.252,0.598,0.15,-0.9621,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,7,20,7,5,9,1,12,3,2,3,2,25,21,9,2,2,9,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,12,4,0,0,4,2,3,1,4,13,0,2,9,3,18,7,19,11,3,15,0,0,0,1,6,7,4,1,7,91,30,1,0.16447830181988718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458000905104786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16896452360245834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18501595137318216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716606595167634,0.0,0.0,0.31011100952358744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792496338920844,0.0,0.1503301880876991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270755279799763,0.15205753966443988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13795659594634727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623882709991358,0.1688021896584281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163219335137922,0.0,0.18197087147588809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17415877283529693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803557901492624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13128501129810216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11145475404506412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17811397257743386,0.0,0.0,0.14361610892527568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872123163539048,0.0,0.1691110880933287,0.0,0.17658814186844615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13079974728281413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18581366416919395,0.16883461320140586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13936193137972674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13135258429864585,0.0,0.0,0.34389686626035393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10927207521418236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716606595167634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701356389922547,0.13055522014985452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18914192984115588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ratthrasher,2019/09/04,"Feels like it’s past the point of no return. Just boosted into mania. 
I’m in so much pain. It’s unbearable. I don’t know why I do the things I do. I say mean, mean things to my ex. We still live together. I say awful things that make me want to cry because they aren’t true, but instead I hold in the tears and say another mean, regrettable statement. It seems like tonight it’s all ending. Everything. I broke up with my boyfriend last month, went and fucked my friend, and now my friend wants nothing to do with me, and my ex I desperately want. I want him more than anything else in this world, besides death maybe. But I’ve been screwing up this relationship for months and tonight I am simply unable to be “me”. 

On my suicide attempt in June I cut in front of my ex, and it traumatized him. I promised in the hospital I would never do it again. I promised I was done flirting with that friend. 

But here I am, saying the meanest things, I’ve cut myself multiple times in front of him as he screams my name. I’m covered in my own blood, high as fuck. I can’t control any of my actions and I don’t know if that’s the real delusion and I’m just an asshole. When I want to be held and hold him I say something that pushes him away. 
He gave me the choice tonight of hospitalization or a talk. I decided to talk, it’s been two and a half hours of fighting. I can’t conceive of the things I say, I know just how hurtful they are. His reaction has been pretty calm comparatively, but he’s mad. And because he’s been getting hurt by me, he’s been saying mean things back. 
I don’t know why I’m saying the things I say, doing the things I’m doing, or anything about my life. I’ve been treating him like this for months, and it feels like I can’t go back. I don’t know how to say I’m sorry. I’m too scared of what emotions might come up. I’ve been emotionless for months, but it all hurts too much when I’m alone. I’m losing him quickly, so fucking quickly, and I’m watching myself do the damage. 
He’s so madly in love with me and all it would take is an apology. But I am too scared to cry. 
I am much more scared of crying then I am of losing him. And he’s perfect. He’s what I’ve always looked for and always will look for. I know I’m making the most regrettable decisions of my life. 
I am too scared to cry. 
There seems to be no way out except death. He’s the one reason I am here. He’s my everything. I don’t trust him anymore and that hurts so much. Why can’t I stop hurting him? 
Why can’t I let myself cry? 
Why can’t I face my actions? 
I don’t want help. I don’t want to get better. I just want him, and death.",0.5321561969439763,2.483396290322585,2.332912657989059,95.7728777589134,83.40860215053762,5.277796642142992,20.542161856253536,6.42735559955562,0.03755268817204272,2022,60,474,19,57,667,210,558,0.249,0.628,0.122,-0.9982,1,1,1,0,2,2,70.0,1,0,2,6,29,41,9,4,17,1,48,10,2,6,6,87,97,38,4,11,14,3,2,4,3,4,3,11,0,0,28,26,0,5,18,0,0,8,17,24,0,3,12,16,79,17,53,77,11,54,0,9,3,5,50,19,4,7,30,297,107,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05557214031460346,0.0,0.0,0.08929331517474776,0.0,0.0,0.03648838357581082,0.05626370925766056,0.0,0.0,0.05321301034437962,0.0,0.0,0.08830975451724618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05041221880142497,0.08251735251765112,0.0,0.06541723037845598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047454974669624415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04622048026540184,0.0,0.0,0.060180531135525364,0.0,0.0,0.294696727053372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05490941466203475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0448232725514181,0.06035654500956762,0.04752389390937385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964463315604924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054260861020827784,0.07666468836820968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12436505772414835,0.14881421307759474,0.05606680326342351,0.0,0.030494328773782418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03596494276222456,0.05669123025587736,0.0,0.0,0.05284102323695041,0.0,0.287202937992104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769298543740429,0.04373735711188951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054867592470549,0.0757986023143635,0.104855777654344,0.0,0.047379833046930685,0.0,0.09011619782764854,0.12005620412632452,0.0,0.0,0.048427250202365484,0.0,0.07163250347703032,0.0,0.053905348795321696,0.23379142581087295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056921260072520186,0.0,0.0,0.17131300592591084,0.0,0.1577753396983025,0.0,0.0413833408175529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05148503329576173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03635915621936085,0.0,0.057094492490318276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05122137413825136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050722907653498184,0.0,0.0,0.05458813529465256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06107305080721659,0.0,0.05516800537665119,0.0,0.057607195778167274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4266994697225634,0.2148787957788104,0.0,0.0,0.09769405577532983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04130753506184818,0.0,0.06006426231446915,0.0,0.0,0.04285029537995499,0.04485938855449894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05869170103448588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04034314704144807,0.0862544166701258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28517692131964506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03128764264100105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05241478147738795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531848088800369,0.04259017648329581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049740281572522194,0.242084047713356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07623233450093604,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,amp119,2019/09/04,What in your life fulfills you? Don’t feel fulfilled in my career and just wondering how others cope not having a huge career but still being happy,5.755714285714286,7.285180285714286,5.884285714285718,77.8107142857143,67.57142857142857,7.028571428571429,24.714285714285715,7.1686216300943375,1.3275857142857137,120,3,19,1,2,38,26,28,0.046,0.6890000000000001,0.265,0.7887,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,0,7,5,3,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,2,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,17,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628086217252385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5532991296564064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3671251400763977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41508471695658056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5636625858980749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,qb4t,2019/09/04,"Almost at the end of my manic phase For almost a week now I've been having a manic phase.

  


I've given up now money than i make in 6 months, I've stayed awake for 2 separate 48 hour period, and only got to sleep through heavy medication. I've said things i shouldn't have said. I've come to thing i knew i wouldn't have time for. I've taken all the photos in my house and arranged them to be put into albums (for which i don't have money to buy). I was very very close to hiring a prostitute. I've drank a lot of alcohol.  I have helped someone by buying their medication. I've been someone's therapist, someone's dad. I've bought food for a beggar kid. I've gotten myself into a lot of problems that had nothing to do with me.

  


I think I'm finally overcoming the manic phase. And I'm terrified of the depressive phase that's coming. Coming face to face to all I've done, and try to minimize the damages.

  


Usually my manic phases aren't so steep. My down time is really really rough. 

  


I honestly can't tell still if it was a manic phase or was i being happy. 

  


I'm close with my doctor. And it seems the medication changes finally did the trick.",2.27155462184874,3.8734848529411816,4.5199075630252095,83.85229831932776,76.52100840336134,7.785210084033612,21.984033613445376,8.548686976883017,1.344217815126051,897,24,185,18,20,312,125,238,0.064,0.902,0.034,-0.6319,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,2,0,4,6,1,0,14,0,22,10,3,1,2,29,40,8,0,4,2,1,1,0,0,2,5,2,0,1,7,14,3,0,3,0,6,4,5,4,0,0,17,3,19,2,30,19,4,27,0,2,0,0,8,9,0,7,13,107,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278206286492305,0.2395328704198749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12652549631512944,0.3090855562470612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301501311897883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242007480672125,0.0,0.12239673031350748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10593391428547094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262041341052478,0.0,0.0,0.14462600103642312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565848921577487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12732100729924284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016824486479802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11778614852171393,0.13800731023218227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20336660698950346,0.0,0.0,0.07983680270244728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36146626451490255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546701560455596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476355692861408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909644639530871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444516750446825,0.0,0.1202353620163934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15324316156713666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275421673915901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888326775620648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969068235681912,0.0,0.3040210199053032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748227586532454,0.09551615291759394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453943483063108,0.0,0.0,0.13886981725358585,0.15891957210450208,0.07663760959121244,0.0,0.0,0.13948446480613402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120347244089621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13172724500284216,0.1973721561226567,0.0,0.0,0.09593935949792518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,itsachance,2019/01/25,Trying not to go all the way down Another disappointment. I am so sad. I feel like no one cares. No one loves me. No one wants to spend time with me. I had energy and was getting things done- and I knew this might happen. Now I am drained. I want to block my text messaging app but last time I did my son got very angry and hurt. But having everything blocked makes it straight forward that no one is getting in touch-so I don't get invested. I hope you all are having a good day. It helps just to write this out. Thanks.,0.2991239316239316,2.57831926851852,1.7444444444444436,97.35269230769232,87.79629629629629,5.545299145299146,18.492877492877493,7.010146845296331,0.06395356125356155,403,11,94,6,13,129,78,108,0.243,0.583,0.174,-0.8363,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,0,3,9,0,0,2,0,12,1,0,1,2,21,27,6,0,3,4,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,2,2,0,2,2,6,3,0,4,6,1,14,6,8,20,2,12,0,3,0,1,6,5,0,2,7,61,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19434794249607604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889691973851074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195306846289486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896698938628428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665740345542892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371481934447463,0.13240883549137628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905016750676201,0.0,0.1053345066149648,0.1554566322141836,0.14823545898785848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16389790480092345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423128016352394,0.0,0.0,0.18408708442381785,0.0,0.0,0.198413154106059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15107900771320892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09054906312977024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16727898963204174,0.0,0.12371766677210642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966192760011131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5023719406600676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17063862253242565,0.0,0.0,0.12313342969449755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161495945809202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12583550197549145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15292710764158954,0.2186398094185276,0.14711637891073295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,whyboonwhy,2019/01/25,"Once again I screwed up So I woke up this morning and I started to argue with my wife over every thing, I blamed her for my unhappiness. I started telling her what's really going on in my head, like how I just wanted to say screw my job, my house, my life. I went to see doc yesterday. And told her the meds are no longer working so she added lithium. We get back and my wife is mad because I wanted to try something else, I finally tell her I have been thinking of ending it, that's why I wanted new meds. We yell and scream then she leaves. I try and call and all she does is scream at me. Now don't get me wrong I started the fight because I am toxic toward her. I just needed to vent some where. ",0.3801351351351343,2.4540815405405425,2.129662162162159,96.269222972973,84.94594594594595,4.781081081081081,19.385135135135137,5.985473137389443,-0.23062972972972995,540,15,124,4,16,177,95,148,0.179,0.787,0.034,-0.963,1,0,1,0,1,0,15.0,2,0,0,1,9,9,5,0,2,0,7,4,1,1,1,19,22,10,0,4,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,5,9,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,8,0,0,4,5,34,1,15,18,2,21,0,0,1,2,19,8,2,1,12,82,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194380509369303,0.0,0.18937365913244972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15860779487146495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13592904246136167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12975705465128698,0.0,0.13757497273691344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308709849402605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17015481111219208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16230549089938848,0.0,0.08827678257349403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15941188302746426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17922826764923244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413959743932626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644704845334386,0.0,0.0,0.10971313363737052,0.07588567331842137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3450699587995853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517413608690424,0.0,0.15001726121377665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16541981400166852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950743308655756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352348068506692,0.0,0.0,0.1237767271541608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957949028334865,0.0,0.0,0.3298269968762109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27152796144206925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319337271311152,0.09952824948694756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14842306590970478,0.0,0.21091575030624926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27485037246864763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14399110254550054,0.1401598376080771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308101906000867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16982736257173706,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,belleofthebell,2019/01/25,"What is your work schedule? For the last 10 years,  I've been very firm about keeping a routine schedule.  That has varied between jobs, but I always work the same time every day. It seems to have worked well for me. I (28F) am now 7 months pregnant and stressing about how to juggle baby/sleeping/work.  Currently I work in hospitality,  roughly from 3-11, five days a week but the days are not set. I might have the opportunity to work three days at 11-7 then two days at 3-11. The days would still likely not be set. Part of me says hey, that's great for working out our childcare (husband 30M, is in restaurants and his schedule is all over). Another part of me says don't fix what isn't broken and that's a terrible idea. Please share your schedules, routines,  feedback. ",3.101219635627533,4.9946927960526315,3.7200000000000015,89.21730769230774,74.98684210526315,5.992712550607287,26.16599190283401,6.67199483983844,0.947585425101214,603,22,123,5,13,190,101,152,0.048,0.8140000000000001,0.13699999999999998,0.9285,2,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,2,0,7,6,7,0,1,8,0,14,0,0,1,1,16,16,7,0,1,4,1,1,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,6,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,2,1,3,1,3,11,5,18,12,4,27,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,2,20,76,17,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247992675656137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12914518388064333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.476572441597001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376856428970396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13578558110447486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390339250397656,0.0,0.0,0.12221841788516435,0.1094712716450846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039275940377622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060170307222831884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065449640227292,0.0,0.0,0.098306039289594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667430045988197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13519393662718207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19588534849962985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11212126754185664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983566378612107,0.0,0.1410806587982839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181624559375784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031052842537852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162083108807173,0.0,0.0,0.0987924298722021,0.0,0.11073664732057976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6276393886040599,0.0,0.0,0.08749013339743192,0.0,0.0,0.07931173000555818
bipolarreddit,ironhorse12272,2019/01/25,"The mixture I have bipolar type II, schizzoeffective disorder, adhd, and severe anxiety. I take depakote, lamotrigene, geodon for this, and hydroxizone for sleep. The hydroxizone does not work for sleep. Serequel and amatriptileye are too sedating the next morning. I am looking for suggestions on what to ask my psych. nurse for sleep. Do people recommend a psychiatrist as opposed to a nurse practitioner? I have not had much luck with nurse practitioners. I have been struggling with mania symptoms and panic attacks for a year now and have not found solutions. After my brother died in august I had a severe depressive episode that lasted from August until December and they would not put me on an antidepressant to pull me out. I was out of work from October to present because of this, and panic attacks that have been out of control, along with higher than normal blood pressure. This occurred when they put me on the lamotrigene. Higher anxiety and higher blood pressures. Any suggestions for all this mess?",7.100652353426916,9.70865120809249,6.758765483071842,68.61504335260119,65.82080924855491,9.798348472336912,35.47853014037985,10.125756701596842,4.270594054500414,821,40,120,21,14,257,102,173,0.233,0.754,0.013000000000000001,-0.9890000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,3,3,10,2,5,9,0,14,7,5,1,1,26,18,11,1,2,4,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,7,15,0,2,1,0,0,3,4,9,0,0,6,1,14,1,31,11,2,20,0,1,1,0,6,7,0,1,10,92,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16836093349369366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526599093666888,0.0,0.2143369039684092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13096522143162753,0.3187451547556024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539755211940056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15712282572916034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065929531704422,0.0,0.14539128287129202,0.0,0.16055525499635873,0.0,0.1225936863797472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15360143332707976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11419203203556895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11764030143537342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10298225495862036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14898728402733435,0.0,0.13725843741246482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32873081714629865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712075381767166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816582479358043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165236068932841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4205734567788734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464524648856139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560712970354822,0.10533023126174176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20397434919157226,0.0,0.0,0.09951590308952052,0.0,0.0,0.0902133547018574
bipolarreddit,Mr_Evolved,2019/01/25,"Nighttime lows? So I'm bipolar and have ADHD, and have been trying to get stable for about 17 years now (wow, it has been a long time, never did the math before). I'm probably the closest I've ever been to being healthy and stable because I've finally found a doctor who listens to me and wants to help, but I've also had life-long sleep issues and when it gets to be 2 or 3 in the morning I just get so depressed and my impulse control goes straight to zero (overeating, impulsive spending, etc.)

Does anyone else ever deal with nighttime loss of control? If so, how have you dealt with it? I view where I'm at right now, where I'm doing well and a functional human being for ~12 hours a day, as a win, but it just feels like I'll never cross the finish line as long as I lose control at night.",6.626097560975609,4.984619048780491,7.155000000000001,80.2775,65.82926829268294,9.175609756097561,32.69512195121951,7.1686216300943375,2.0740024390243903,620,20,127,4,8,205,103,164,0.08199999999999999,0.7929999999999999,0.125,0.6283,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,6,16,8,0,0,9,0,13,3,1,4,4,26,24,20,0,2,6,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,5,9,0,3,2,0,1,1,2,4,1,1,6,3,6,4,19,15,1,27,0,4,1,0,6,10,0,2,17,82,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16831153641753002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11199703759291656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792543219367393,0.14349662630414314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537249648862746,0.0,0.11917128057443567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4712301777370942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09031994072199406,0.14438424427844165,0.12062389389536672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433459615939054,0.12255771740798148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699286736434453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561915198529564,0.0,0.2533644572295388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081292100217251,0.10005094683238376,0.0,0.15341670093662482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535563666863606,0.0,0.0,0.21950927624313926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387181120076564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13791993469163152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14617464338449426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989206646702826,0.06842080792643816,0.0,0.0,0.3718165513556245,0.0,0.15667887200232308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160286577829648,0.0,0.0,0.13142638536526524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509963781765146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196009770833772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14015002019364015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166362733650596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508399549814177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260445712099154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259207610271949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090186886115228
bipolarreddit,hclyfuck,2019/01/25,Let’s Talk? Hey guys...anyone down to talk tonight on voice chat or smth else of that nature? Looking for the real human connections I’m so lacking tonight. :(,1.0380000000000005,3.5713668000000034,1.696666666666669,93.585,97.66666666666666,3.733333333333334,22.66666666666667,5.6839178017228535,0.4278666666666671,124,5,23,1,5,38,28,30,0.115,0.885,0.0,-0.5459,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,2,1,4,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,1,2,11,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26780027554374136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199446907199644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3916401883285395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3216208612362235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43593421987260456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6156766584389262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ruby16251,2019/01/25,Mornings I have a very hard time with mornings. Any advice? ,1.4445454545454552,3.942690272727273,1.5731818181818191,93.57977272727274,100.8181818181818,2.2,23.681818181818183,3.1291,0.024599999999999955,47,2,8,0,2,14,10,11,0.175,0.825,0.0,-0.1761,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5428304643617067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3777606449581981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4976209911458411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32391788577670744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4583476132005038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,miepert,2019/01/25,"Hello, concerned daughter here Hello,

I hope this isn't against the rules but I'm posting here hoping to find some advice and a little support. I'm (f26) from Holland and my mom (55) has been in the psychiatric hospital for about 3 months now. 
Looking back, I guess she already hit a manic state about 7 months back. The trigger seemed to be a renovation (of the whole area) that started in September 2018. She was constantly worried that I was going to be raped by the construction crew. At a certain I wasn't allowed to do any chores at home and she started treating me like I was 9 or something.

Then she stopped taking her meds, she offered her body to a friend (even though she is disgusted by sex) and started going on shopping sprees. 

She only got commited cuz she kept me up at night for a week straight, which sorta forced her to seek help. Now she blames me for getting her commited. She also told me my stepdad doesn't want to have sex with me because I'm fat (I have been diagnosed with  c-ptsd because of past abuse of a familymember so this was extremely hurtful on multiple levels). She accused me trying to control her when I asked her why she didn't pay rent, and suddenly my boyfriend is too dumb and autistic to function and she hates his guts.

This isn't even half of the things she has done or said. I'm am tired and exhausted. She suddenly came home today, late at night, because she claims she is getting abused by the everyone and she left. I quickly packed a bag and left to go to my stepdads house, she freaked out, started yelling then asked her if I could forgive her.

Here's the thinge, I don't doubt it that she will get better. But I am constantly incredible angry and upset, I have no patience anymore. I am constantly swinging between being scared she is going to hurt herself and just hoping that she does, just so I can be done with all of this. 
I feel guilty and I am just drained of all my energy  all the damn time.

Is there anything I can do? Is there any advice you guys have for me when dealing with my mother? I don't want to hate her after all of this is done.

P.s. I am already looking at other housing options and an in-house therapist of my doctors clinic is helping me trying to get urgency to move. I am also in a lot of contact with the people from the mental facility my mom is commited in. School is also quite aware of what is going on, I can always stay at my stepdads house (who has never done anything weird to me, ever) and my boyfriend is an angel who is always ready to help me. I am exercising, eating right and always try to get 8 hours of sleep.

tldr: mom is manic and borderline abusive, driving me crazy. I don't want to hate her after all of this is done, do you have any advice for me?",3.486315207686747,5.038000140767824,4.493283448832957,85.5053399090175,73.18647166361974,7.062777943114664,28.26023553420348,7.65591337171366,1.6758517835126057,2155,85,426,27,43,701,252,547,0.16699999999999998,0.733,0.1,-0.9933,2,0,1,0,3,0,63.0,0,2,0,3,27,25,7,3,22,0,61,14,4,4,11,66,103,33,0,8,8,5,1,1,1,1,7,2,4,1,18,24,2,3,4,2,3,8,10,15,0,1,18,5,81,10,67,78,8,66,1,2,2,3,58,22,2,13,34,310,99,3,0.0,0.2237384320644778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18452724091125375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892264336981242,0.1510111703095373,0.15712573179708408,0.0,0.0,0.12841418106656546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06242448030309732,0.0,0.0,0.10359666735177378,0.0,0.11769006961798167,0.0,0.0,0.09680156814217733,0.0,0.11511197871013945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05566969642154132,0.0,0.06991765368851154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199225835920632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20406340018705346,0.0705981179449722,0.05025642368923305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489348340919747,0.0,0.0638878030720271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06442682736580624,0.055083553202289866,0.3220727085201284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440840190779785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314909660338815,0.05693731433049564,0.0,0.06014660075169854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03182685989857293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057530547380492875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048631115122986936,0.0,0.16443070187744407,0.0,0.1788653389063726,0.0,0.05034282964218708,0.0,0.06934096302881691,0.06232540040075772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864353308725064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12657202702118714,0.0,0.12627784165151895,0.1875556252279877,0.0619881001451164,0.2905201018896913,0.13476774968866906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100464951547371,0.0,0.13677975284046404,0.0,0.0,0.030751724928210593,0.06308737988686786,0.0,0.0,0.10571581611105432,0.0,0.0,0.053513548742592135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991765368851154,0.0,0.06343370856554577,0.0,0.0,0.22116110721870494,0.10048412310144687,0.06690052432838829,0.0,0.0,0.048547028762760965,0.0,0.0,0.1181391501663326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047872473732607834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060088080721194675,0.04363810541915483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060283866097034476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357928252116312,0.0,0.0,0.06694970635711449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0537546465742925,0.05987506526247643,0.0,0.06301887953640448,0.06370365366235238,0.0,0.05730272184385912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06299041183950463,0.0,0.0,0.04845810060640925,0.0,0.0,0.17821104895123582,0.0670909456013861,0.0,0.05262479982069046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07142918758029901,0.0,0.0,0.04732677162136587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730839427817979,0.08363566068056688,0.0,0.06184309746714072,0.0,0.036703708719606515,0.07234596475506691,0.0596644561916072,0.06014660075169854,0.0,0.12820647533617718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137969370195087,0.0,0.05049064511451752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056798030295132876,0.07027579296429358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06392365595053283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,melatonia,2019/01/25,"If you cannot work, do you volunteer? Wanna chat about it? I've talked myself out of volunteering at the humane society because too much poop (and also because WTF you fall in love and 3 days later your new best friend faces the guillotine) and it's pretty far away from where I live and talked myself out of trying for a volunteer position that (tryna be a little anon here) is really kind of like mini-me apprentice-type form of one of my once dream jobs because. . . I don't know. I was in some episode or another the whole time it was posted? Because it requires a minimum commitment of a year and involves *leetle tiny shifts* (like, Monday or Friday mornings or afternoons for an hour and fourty five minutes) 
 
There was one that was basically transcribing the living stories of people and their (presumably not shining) experiences with health care as a joint project between like, a local commision and ProPublica and I was too, um, hallucinating on stimulants to catch that one. 
 
 
In other words, I'm a flibbertijibbit. (But I want to hear about all sorts of experiences, flibbery and otherwise!) 
 
",5.47335,7.615360235000002,6.218000000000004,72.74650000000003,69.15,9.6,30.5,9.978442167317967,3.4041,877,36,145,23,16,287,136,200,0.022000000000000002,0.8320000000000001,0.146,0.9724,2,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,4,1,3,8,8,0,0,12,0,10,4,2,1,2,30,16,17,0,3,6,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,1,8,13,0,1,2,2,0,2,3,0,1,4,5,2,13,8,27,10,6,23,0,0,1,1,13,12,0,6,11,102,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12071962856258048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15829075087539704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14182833077763854,0.0,0.0,0.3680860239545887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15841923171502095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15390991930369266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735426873864933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953282840174148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166283952809079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16045939481065005,0.17013862260195187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14866146145638906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14980074793749526,0.0,0.0,0.1571976655057334,0.0829615865201443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22124874094045716,0.1512977825014864,0.2665942024904261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362438754661283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109701854000355,0.0,0.0,0.14579445065830168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16076343958849,0.30687550901426985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046540305576798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14457432338217016,0.15357673780638328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670641515444543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426657709058637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802378144115756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248935923201354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903788524751477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16853722025067702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10989792054823144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972108515282252
bipolarreddit,hiyyori,2019/02/12,"Does buspar induce hypomania? I have undiagnosed bipolar 2 (my psychiatrist isn’t really sure if my hypomania is actually hypomania or just anxiety but I am 99% sure it’s hypomania and not anxiety) and I was just prescribed Buspar. I do have a significant problem with anxiety, however, I read that it can induce hypomania in people with bipolar disorder.

In anyone’s experience, has it caused or worsened hypomania for them? ",4.639894894894894,8.013561878378383,8.346396396396397,49.86782282282283,78.86486486486487,12.478078078078074,36.6006006006006,10.980518767755715,6.592998798798798,345,21,46,17,9,130,48,74,0.188,0.7170000000000001,0.095,-0.8087,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,9,2,0,3,2,17,9,6,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,8,2,5,8,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,3,0,36,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.2355739810880863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5540166701635174,0.0,0.0,0.16879421496199468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24798682678986414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766681366373484,0.0,0.21125292208565435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361379302387471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16735807238548034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23098955490174425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24146778985698514,0.0,0.15464859921126395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4550379288466336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Dearlordjustwork,2019/02/12,"Hypo again, I’d really missed it So I’m having a bit of a hypomanic episode right now and fuck! It’s been awhile but I’d kinda forgot how nice it feels. Like a lot of me doesn’t want it to end ever and I know that once this is over I’m gonna realize I made some dumbass decisions but right now I just feel so great. Anyways, check up in three days when I feel like ass :)))",0.1006325301204818,1.7497845301204862,2.6731174698795184,94.37666415662649,83.21686746987952,6.559638554216868,17.60391566265061,7.645422480735847,0.12632650602409656,288,6,72,5,8,100,61,83,0.146,0.652,0.20199999999999999,0.7401,0,0,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,0,0,10,6,1,0,3,0,4,2,1,2,1,19,16,8,0,1,3,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,6,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,3,3,5,4,6,12,3,12,0,1,0,2,0,5,2,3,9,41,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624220269152054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15501890775896304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128966708946704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217428627115459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36461521944861264,0.3434410690313791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222183968233358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650090181676704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13210118770270068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23486549765105025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20435416689378505,0.0,0.2274441158203885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559864414315923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15398731914644292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4105497121934021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14177658462302292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Aneaunymousse,2019/02/12,"Comorbid Anxiety? I sleep too much Hi guys,

So it's been a very long time I've been here. Some good news: meds work, like work work. Took a year and a half to stabilize but Seroplex+lamictal+solian combo did a good job. I crashed a car in August and it was the last time I've been maniac since.

But here it comes. These days I've been starting to think that hypomania was so intense and fun I feel like my life is so boring now. Plus I think I may have anxiety too. Lately I've been sleeping so much I can't even hear my alarms. I have trouble getting to sleep at night but I can sleep for hours at daytime although I had 10 hours sleep the night before. I get anxious when I have to meet friends or have a big party. I wake up a lot during the night. Monday I took 3 coffees during the morning and I had to get out of class cause I got stressed...

What do you guys think? I'm meeting my psychiatrist on Saturday.

And by the ways, thank you all for supporting me last year, it was so helpful there were many times I couldn't have been through it if you and my friends hadn't been here. ",1.1918376811594198,3.3090909200000027,2.437661835748795,95.00965217391304,82.02222222222224,5.690821256038648,21.33816425120773,6.895973343053719,0.2999410628019321,847,26,194,10,23,271,125,225,0.086,0.735,0.179,0.9743,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,3,0,3,14,14,1,2,12,0,26,7,6,1,1,25,42,19,0,2,5,0,1,2,2,1,1,1,0,2,8,9,0,0,4,0,0,4,3,5,0,1,18,2,24,9,17,22,5,33,0,0,0,0,12,7,0,5,23,119,32,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15705644360643606,0.1159671318744713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734898295736859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10545150852238587,0.0,0.08842529640548434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06620181410157981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0678004385120103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051903752313182235,0.07333435042071054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861680116111884,0.0,0.16089373158636194,0.0,0.0,0.1721986467098105,0.08209989200379672,0.0,0.0,0.20328252020651816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11569585608239175,0.0,0.06880522888760462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20218237089994048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186591092228732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16734957077052887,0.11579551841684232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250588741487142,0.10030081000535793,0.0,0.0,0.09084346902788104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727075144034074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407264872685404,0.0,0.0,0.11402282823163692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15092152978710607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28899482425839845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491449540531984,0.0,0.5136288569846608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265735744678417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175871040607545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116487861885046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450783623057593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973250734707428,0.0,0.0,0.17957098618230918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280994928608087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469835157899615,0.0,0.08148009189589453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241948442697063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13220857811184925
bipolarreddit,LordoftheCatsx,2019/02/12,"I miss stability. [TW: suicidal thoughts] When you're on Lithium and you're stable for like close to a year, its so easy to forget what the roller coaster feels like.

Guys, i'm so miserable, this depression has kicked me in the ribs so hard. I can't stop crying. every. little. thing. can send me into a whirlwind of suicidal thoughts and self loathing. Just on Sunday, my husband couldn't understand why i was crying, i couldn't understand, i had fits of balling my eyes out 5 times in the span of 2 hours. he would get frustrated and snap at me a bit, and it would start all over again. :/

I don't want to be alone-but all i want is to be alone. i'm able to push through at work, barely. (crying in the bathroom doesn't count...)
Normally i'm pretty creative and love listening to music, and drawing and i feel like i cant even start doing any of those things without feeling like a failure.

I am having constant suicidal thoughts, but i am okay.i wont hurt myself. My MIL is coming into town today, and she'll be here for 2 weeks. i love her but i am loathing the fake face and the energy i will have to output for the time she is here. 

I've talked to my doc and she just wants me to ride it out with the Risperdal. 


I miss being stable, i took it for granted.Thanks for letting me word vomit.",1.7801136363636374,3.7808939356060662,3.010218181818182,92.28932727272728,79.3409090909091,6.0421818181818185,22.68121212121212,7.087006719466742,0.6544577575757571,1005,32,217,12,25,324,151,264,0.149,0.705,0.146,0.0729,0,2,0,0,0,2,43.0,0,0,0,1,11,13,1,1,12,0,29,6,3,0,2,43,53,16,3,8,5,1,4,4,0,5,1,1,0,2,9,17,0,1,8,2,0,5,8,7,0,0,6,6,30,6,33,35,3,35,0,5,1,2,13,17,0,0,17,136,39,1,0.11154392224989003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552586356404128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758536921340026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177707347430243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960852122444184,0.0,0.12053935324777534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3675772826772792,0.0,0.0,0.09607261678691988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367370865026694,0.0,0.0939805653454508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16919987582822013,0.2390610010285528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058277095569955174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11044601993786543,0.0,0.0,0.09992144487674402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984829460405184,0.0,0.1194100757747803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140612178324608,0.0,0.21797890444061133,0.11179631373419928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20134548959202112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928936078774204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134802696920466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636463773215168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15790272456377846,0.0,0.0,0.0932557136071202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660328398906241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965477949578254,0.0,0.10269465720911522,0.0,0.0,0.14820965108360762,0.0,0.0,0.2656602440681717,0.13008431615274413,0.0,0.10573059580440393,0.0,0.12392940185279187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322423137396704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973744860390734,0.0,0.08947380620319118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10065104028327214,0.0,0.0,0.10752436059474607,0.0,0.08120530387962219,0.0,0.0,0.1584752040296927,0.0,0.0,0.0718306288177843
bipolarreddit,the_penumbra_cafe,2019/02/12,"Looking for advice about what to do now that I have no insurance. *I really need some guidance and/or suggestions. I have no support system and no one to talk this out with to figure out what I should do.*

​

Backstory:

I lost my job at the beginning of January. That (on top of things that I was already dealing with and at the time I was unmedicated) I ended up flipping my sh\*t and ended up in the mental health unit for a week. During that week they got me medicated with Lamictal and Latuda, stabilized and finally  I was discharged with a follow up appointment with a pdoc already scheduled for me. 

The problem is that my insurance ran out at the end of January. I currently have no job (not for a lack of trying, I just bomb the interviews horribly) and no way to pay for a doctor's visit and my local resources can't do anything for me for a couple of months due to lack of openings through my county's community services board (I don't know what the term is for other places but this is set up to handle mental health stuff for uninsured or under insured people). 

My awesome therapist decided to keep seeing me even though the insurance is now cancelled, and my primary doctor is going to work with me to get me taken care of as well. My therapist, the pdoc in the hospital, and my primary care doc have all advised me against going back to work right now and are urging me to seek temporary disability benefits as they all feel that I need a year or two to get back to a functioning level and I hated to admit it, but I agree with them because I am completely unable to handle leaving my house most of the time now days. They all told me to go to social services and apply for Medicaid so that I can keep going to the doctor which I am working on as well as trying to figure out how to get disability.

 I have no insurance or money to pay for a pdoc appointment (first appointment as a new patient is base priced at $300) and medications; the Lamictal I can get without insurance for around $15 while the Latuda is about $1500. The makers of Latuda offer a discount program themselves but it's only up to $600 which still leaves me about $900 to pay out of pocket so that does me no good.In the meantime, I have no idea how to get my medications refilled and I know that I can't just stop taking them.

The pdoc in the hospital said the Latuda would only be for a month and then he advised that I stop the Latuda and go fully on the Lamictal 2 times a day. Of course that would ultimately be left up to the pdoc I was scheduled to see.

Should I contact my primary doc and see if she will write the Rx as the pdoc said it should be be after the month of Latuda was up? Is there anything that anyone knows of that will help me get low cost or no cost help?

​

Thanks in advance. I hate to ask here but I don't know where else to turn at this point and I don't want to annoy my doc or therapist until I have an idea of the direction that I should be going in first.

​

​",5.733667060212515,5.608469932231408,6.715726092089733,77.70190082644632,67.03305785123968,9.889492325855961,31.33530106257379,9.606745405546679,2.75794828807556,2379,85,466,45,35,798,245,605,0.08199999999999999,0.835,0.083,0.872,3,0,0,0,0,0,63.0,0,0,5,8,24,13,3,0,40,0,46,9,0,3,3,82,91,42,0,13,14,0,1,0,0,8,9,2,0,0,28,32,0,4,11,0,8,10,16,6,2,4,12,7,62,7,104,66,8,87,0,2,4,0,25,37,0,8,37,351,90,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06124527212231552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13832681378291808,0.0,0.0,0.2716332897990717,0.3046278782863209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04382380831879476,0.0,0.10315234842712216,0.055794026480128635,0.05859265253400281,0.0,0.0,0.09638639292697974,0.0,0.03820609047111546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12780265304600474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06571353164144306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06934868124347501,0.0,0.08084036354799512,0.06461515975745907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19245151550846398,0.05484730366115621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052356909529906855,0.0,0.1665343072218356,0.0,0.0,0.04139623794609585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03169035670279778,0.0,0.0,0.06865738495237235,0.0,0.10662262419570084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19647056399508334,0.0,0.213717837440718,0.05256880567175296,0.050126912735762065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12375714844175313,0.0,0.13324116116579235,0.0,0.0,0.08401944558108779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723185203280947,0.0,0.14150486345440522,0.0,0.0,0.12439050778079636,0.1114168167365428,0.0,0.0,0.1377781354983236,0.0,0.0,0.132727523789733,0.06809655698124938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052631204152139816,0.0,0.06841715223486929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18941536759366254,0.126323291573832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15007973049497153,0.0,0.0,0.09294541771918087,0.0,0.060531893193802574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04247019337057751,0.09533430402285356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04345094461013156,0.0,0.0654820219367309,0.0,0.059248121253565274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05997149831193559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04015120168739495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05352409662156268,0.11923653051655615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14983155072996454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388925660681873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05005232574137671,0.1047981914047252,0.0,0.0,0.07174786548880988,0.0,0.07112283274644465,0.0,0.0,0.04712379037871031,0.05037578062793399,0.0,0.057702707566980586,0.0,0.21831147245279015,0.04163847656488672,0.0,0.06157785670924625,0.0,0.10963886717194556,0.0,0.0,0.05988863615061055,0.0,0.08510440443406893,0.0681723885018811,0.061224355466089585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0369673313056084,0.049748487561694935,0.10054818847555733,0.0,0.1127046809188153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06041645110213674,0.0,0.136884411419148,0.0,0.0,0.08904502535241215,0.0,0.3046278782863209,0.040360636878946025
bipolarreddit,mental_chillness_,2019/02/12,"How I stopped letting anxiety spirals control my life (xpost r/mentallyhealthier) I used to spend most of the day caught up in anxiety spirals. I used to fall into the trap of getting stuck in the past and beating myself up about mistakes, or fretting about the way things could go wrong in the future. (There's a term for this- rumination.) The only way I've found out of this terrible habit is through mindfulness meditation.

Mindfulness is paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment.

Figuring this out, the idea that you can live your life without reliving your life story, has significantly improved my quality of life.

I recently read this study: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19733812](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19733812)

The participants engaged in Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction therapy, and the conclusion was ""the more mindfulness meditation had been practiced, the less rumination was reported at follow-up assessment."" Though the participants were in a full on 8 week course of therapy, you can easily do this yourself with some effort.

Basically, the goal is to “decenter” from thoughts and emotions, to see thoughts come and go without attaching any important truth or meaning to them.

I'd recommend downloading the Headspace app, it teaches this stuff in a very practical way, and I found it to be very effective when I started out.",10.975262622839718,12.059439837004408,9.309867841409693,59.41638427651645,55.91629955947136,13.680650626906136,45.214842426296165,12.896187039172386,6.5785339884784815,1141,63,160,38,13,348,143,227,0.11199999999999999,0.818,0.07,-0.7798,0,0,0,0,0,0,54.0,0,4,1,6,6,6,0,1,19,0,15,4,0,5,1,39,30,10,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,11,11,0,2,10,1,2,5,2,4,0,0,11,1,14,2,36,16,6,38,0,0,1,0,5,18,0,4,11,111,25,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579276521293922,0.0,0.17052451225480295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600803503686164,0.0,0.0,0.12500550640364988,0.08898721206995537,0.0,0.0,0.07187882140222113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12537111805651435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444078365860825,0.0,0.0,0.058230286457548075,0.0,0.12668412653991395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258183704449351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396960200441388,0.3148939528518889,0.0,0.0,0.09841621387511626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214064375341957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45014839832265297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476603903810237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10639576773464496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148448947877654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004770329986563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881466965812565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888794726170674,0.0,0.0,0.09318080909895714,0.12767055656539278,0.0,0.12758854075164902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549154756291657,0.0,0.07404530333887366,0.0,0.10950331172391777,0.17696457428862306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925215094502082,0.0,0.18392298666824347,0.0,0.3538690323038629,0.08940193938465647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21487599055381595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12185781166223485,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HolyCrapImGay,2019/02/12,"Pharmacogenetic Testing? Has anyone had this done or seriously investigated it? I've been on the same med combo for over 10 years and I feel like I could be doing better. My therapist recommended I look into genetic testing with a different psychiatrist to give me the best shot at finding the best meds and dosages for me. I am seriously considering it, but wonder how effective it could be in relation to the cost.

Any experience or input is most appreciated.

 ",5.6651979345955255,8.127791939759039,8.08488812392427,58.21686746987953,69.36144578313252,11.489845094664373,33.54388984509467,11.20814326018867,4.859682960413083,373,18,59,14,7,134,64,83,0.03,0.752,0.218,0.9517,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,4,1,6,0,0,5,0,11,0,0,2,0,16,15,6,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,7,4,10,8,4,6,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,4,2,47,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14141619743439365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14540662813346145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4364708556166285,0.1839188642922676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3320695086362334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172682014287172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21280966334724088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20341941350396267,0.0,0.0,0.10514804827047018,0.14856274304395636,0.0,0.0,0.1900666541489968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19948891440624147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015960690893258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17462941318781666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4619811598396025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414512134689522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22551779466440955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339158859767479
bipolarreddit,SleepDreamRepeat,2019/02/12,"Does it ever get better? Been struggling to find a reason or meaning, or a light at the end of the tunnel. All the pills, therapies, counseling, doctors; can't seem to fix what's wrong with me. It all feels for nothing. I feel like I'm permanently broken, discarded, a former shell of a person. Times become irrelevant. I don't live life, I just exist. I wish I could fix me.",1.6531081081081105,4.043230459459462,3.803986486486487,84.26516891891896,82.24324324324327,6.402702702702705,21.41216216216216,7.645422480735847,1.0818702702702696,290,9,56,5,8,99,56,74,0.185,0.7390000000000001,0.077,-0.7851,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,1,7,0,4,3,0,1,3,15,11,2,0,2,3,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,3,7,2,7,9,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,5,34,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455589436462575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19664316884415106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775217585918251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22757615554168745,0.1945727235671131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969287552930536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20112080063529408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248452923983428,0.15884095781452234,0.0,0.0,0.2032162894615884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11616436356184917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570465210109447,0.1086249256959677,0.0,0.1963317981838261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24219529743774998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133428616453488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941401998757556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22860430274383525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024115368161268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23243982465493795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25426711587720224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12964923566860528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556819867843224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24309574961653466,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,redditreadr999,2019/02/12,"Have you been in Involuntary/Assistant Outpatient Treatment? Take our survey. Hi all, MadInAmerica.com is conducting a survey of people who have been court ordered or compelled to be in Involuntary/Assistant Outpatient Treatment (IOT/AOT).

[You can take the survey here.](https://www.madinamerica.com/involuntary-outpatient-survey/)

If you aren't sure what Involuntary/Assisted Outpatient Treatment is, here's a quick overview:

Outpatient commitment—also called Assisted Outpatient Treatment (AOT) or a Community Treatment Order (CTO)—refers to a civil court procedure wherein a judge orders an individual diagnosed with severe a mental disorder who is experiencing a psychiatric crisis that requires intervention to adhere to an outpatient treatment plan designed to prevent further deterioration that is harmful to themselves or others.",16.31975,17.361954141666672,14.53166666666667,26.500000000000053,45.08333333333334,17.333333333333332,58.33333333333334,15.4700424275458,10.266333333333334,707,46,62,28,6,227,75,120,0.10300000000000001,0.877,0.021,-0.8768,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,3,0,2,2,2,0,0,10,0,11,1,0,1,2,10,13,4,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,4,1,10,10,1,7,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,4,1,48,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535484258901015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237481658300041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32180371563148297,0.0,0.0,0.3633720067002703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195164355497311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.219805718646647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35818141924855906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29882018099263685,0.0,0.4767711589465031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Beetzart,2019/02/12,"Did/does sertraline work for you? I'm currently in a depressive episode and barely functioning. Been on sertraline 50 mg for just over a week. How long does it take to start to work, roughly?  Thank you. ",2.201578947368421,5.063400210526319,2.900315789473684,87.8052105263158,86.36842105263158,8.303157894736843,26.02105263157895,8.841846274778883,2.6633515789473687,160,7,31,5,5,50,31,38,0.079,0.8540000000000001,0.067,-0.1179,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,2,2,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,5,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,1,7,4,0,7,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,16,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262826876781506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33151360099735144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33524950925772923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681353286995449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848303635417266,0.0,0.0,0.3487725210888443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038717476543834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5515803709672962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,green170,2019/03/17,"Bipolar with No Friends Can someone tell me what it is like to be bipolar with no friends? Maybe we can relate. Because I don’t really see my symptoms much because I’m mostly by myself. And tbh i am sad about it but simultaneously, I rather not expose myself because I don’t want anyone to deal with that as well. However, I’d like to know you see your symptoms? Or, is there anyone out there like this as well? Sometimes, I get confused about it all..",2.773333333333333,4.761961166666668,4.0063888888888926,86.37625000000004,76.22222222222223,5.833333333333334,26.805555555555557,6.6274283507984215,1.125222222222222,355,14,70,3,8,116,59,90,0.084,0.6970000000000001,0.21899999999999997,0.9023,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,2,0,0,7,9,0,1,0,0,8,4,0,0,1,15,14,5,0,2,4,0,0,3,2,0,4,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,2,0,0,2,12,7,12,13,3,1,0,1,2,0,7,1,0,3,3,52,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724994745217127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3563521739543666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20089076868854328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30109470430595603,0.0,0.10180563089166722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070892482995732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855943617807678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957617600118549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14324356894101264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483147609672793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105543189650049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16510314844766066,0.0,0.192720241817696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4050656092231407,0.0,0.0,0.17031509695795696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114932712852891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35040275485760325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,InsurmountableRunner,2019/03/17,"Anxiety and meds I tend to be very anxious. I have lorazepam I can take, but I try to just take the buspirone I was also prescribed. Today I was very anxious (about a good thing) and pulled out the lorazepam. I took three 0.5mg pills, which I was told was my max for the day. I don't think it worked. Anxiety kicked my butt and I was shaking and miserable, but now that the stress is over, I feel fine. I don't think the lorazepam did anything at all. It's a benzo, right? I don't want to increase it - at least not long-term, based on what I have read here. I have a pdoc appointment coming up. Do you have any suggestions for me that I could bring up? Any other options? I appreciate your input!",1.3643456543456551,3.3828188461538464,2.6690959040959044,94.11924825174826,80.81818181818181,5.764035964035964,22.1023976023976,6.868970318607317,0.44254885114885134,537,17,120,6,14,173,88,143,0.165,0.763,0.073,-0.8641,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,0,1,5,5,0,3,8,0,18,2,1,0,1,17,29,7,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,6,0,0,3,1,0,6,4,3,0,1,8,1,22,2,13,19,3,17,0,1,0,1,4,8,1,1,3,84,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463000752480183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24881608843163386,0.0,0.2799029828358131,0.4133487983965587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15054714361138108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15758986803532654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14606572253615718,0.0,0.0,0.11798360392400248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250187231563922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534445634562655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16189948892370504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032092985206426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829932877826394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15623298904239286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095614825718719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27510191074975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12153971880925042,0.2344459753215054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17340931295159176,0.17481062224435198,0.20325727161843188,0.12420681828052375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3018955568310845,0.10790498170629384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13318525112485913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,iamfuckingmanic,2019/03/17,"I want to come off risperidone. I’m on 8mg of risperidone a day, my eye sight was fine and I didn’t need to wear glasses before starting risperidone 18 months ago. But I went to the opticians for the 3rd time in a year and yet again I need a new prescription. 

My left eye isn’t responding to anything and won’t focus but my left eye is doing ok (ish)

I think it’s the risperidone causing all of this but I’m terrified to become delusional again if I stop it!",1.5364146620847663,3.3973459175257767,3.0896219931271496,92.1079266895762,79.51546391752578,6.3729667812142035,24.179839633447884,7.3871296695380915,0.9658073310423828,362,13,80,5,9,119,62,97,0.096,0.845,0.059000000000000004,-0.7385,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,6,1,6,4,4,1,1,15,15,7,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,4,9,2,11,11,1,18,0,0,4,0,1,5,0,1,11,46,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107968937421059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19569056941195306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626333379088129,0.20235176520762227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442878917517075,0.0,0.20484514199083245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533624489931336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5167445710678708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898110795380354,0.0,0.0,0.35265395301297797,0.0,0.2296704016399141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16831729502624615,0.0,0.0,0.19881290210103728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237375252179058,0.0,0.0,0.13866410652923933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026162706214698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204445947528216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531365234646141
bipolarreddit,BigBenW3,2019/03/17,"Gabapentin common? I know Gabapentin is common for anxiety disorders, but what about Bipolar? I see it’s used sometimes for it. How well did it work for you?",2.496724137931036,5.462377206896554,2.2926724137931025,91.53831896551728,87.27586206896551,5.658620689655173,27.9396551724138,7.1686216300943375,1.761682758620689,125,6,23,2,4,37,22,29,0.047,0.841,0.11199999999999999,0.4291,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,4,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,1,4,4,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,16,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3149897562036172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4719043682367134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22628856430687594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3281136626400741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4072340363413886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3556222065896303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3702152064046996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997609339972295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Happypuke,2019/03/17,"How do I ask for forgiveness? I [m34] had been treating what I thought was just depression for years. I had a long hypomania then crashed into depression hard. I got paranoid and delusional and asked some hurtful questions to my girlfriend at the time. She was really hurt and iced me out. I spiraled and was suicidal. I was coherent just enough and I made an emergency doctor appointment and was diagnosed bipolar. She ended up talking to me 5 days later. I tried to explain the diagnosis. she left me officially. Its been 3 weeks and I finaly am starting to feel stable. I don't know how to explain or ask for forgiveness. I can't make her take me back. I just wish there was a way to Express that it wasn't really me. It doenst feel like it was me. I feel sick that i hurt her and in my right mind would have never done that. I am trying so hard to be well, but how do I show her? I am desperately in love with her. I am at a loss. Maybe I can't. If i can't, how can I go on knowing that any setback in treatment can ruin everything and drive everyone away in seconds?",1.4111240232418325,3.6884501244239662,3.4241274293728736,87.31768182728916,82.3179723502304,7.091885393708678,25.10298537367261,8.18289091462,1.717703025445803,835,34,174,18,23,282,122,217,0.16,0.767,0.073,-0.9488,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,11,13,0,0,6,0,28,5,0,6,1,40,47,18,1,3,6,0,5,1,1,1,4,0,0,0,9,12,0,0,11,1,0,2,6,7,1,1,16,5,37,6,22,29,2,27,0,7,0,1,19,13,0,4,12,130,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850045230891927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3649932537144955,0.0,0.12227190488043355,0.10007051978575328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393028262864599,0.0,0.22418078279231227,0.1320905391118759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332049929846975,0.0,0.13317959189701087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152664408310178,0.13447060838762684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243554565506292,0.1169624840862782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974098441372772,0.0929728715251554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07396222098272727,0.0,0.1040857751886823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331618361128802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4179564139465209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304435735938706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14139875237153604,0.0,0.0,0.06358039765130034,0.0,0.0,0.11517083230948436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745747898319475,0.12314271335668064,0.0868702356267168,0.0,0.13074428853073733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13140547368130992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10037288642283212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457878846858917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16674352056826694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11113984053828818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09211458369104766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14235330752703648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784995691341897,0.10460253566848356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331754504006926,0.07588635763092699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17671461145404865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10329999614417336,0.10439138947639212,0.0,0.1170125331941574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965591265417266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244854694481698,0.0,0.0,0.08380664093156724
bipolarreddit,yepandhuh,2019/03/17,"Latuda Withdrawl symptom- swollen gland? I stopped taking latuda last Sunday, and I haven't really had any withdrawl symptoms that I've noticed.  The one thing that I have noticed is my left gland is sore, which started pretty much after I dropped the latuda.  Has anybody had this as a withdrawl symptom? Thanks for any help you can give. ",4.6553005464480846,7.507323737704923,3.850409836065573,85.5650136612022,73.91803278688525,4.722404371584699,31.478142076502728,5.46131890053228,1.6010961748633874,272,13,43,1,6,80,45,61,0.07,0.7829999999999999,0.146,0.6966,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,8,7,0,0,0,2,12,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,6,1,3,10,1,7,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,28,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26948628833437105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900755644774404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281019855282294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615119234474899,0.0,0.0,0.21528152657743976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14565694105649787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4511712560149594,0.0,0.0,0.13426593748894766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015813325504856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269346406979308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14024570842709946,0.0,0.0,0.1656553255282514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6178352508543582,0.14897789228370906,0.0,0.0,0.1824222475167386,0.0,0.0,0.13163653489435642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,butidontwannadie,2019/03/17,"What do you consider the difference between Bipolar I and Bipolar II, based on your perspective? I have Bipolar II and describe it as the sadder instead of madder version, but I don’t know if that’s really accurate. My manic episodes are generally not dangerous and I have no temper or anger issues. But my depressive states are lengthy and horrid and dark and deadly. I only know what I’ve endured though. ",6.668399999999997,7.9412590399999985,7.251999999999999,69.78600000000003,65.26666666666667,10.266666666666666,37.66666666666667,10.355215969177356,4.413266666666667,328,17,51,8,5,108,54,75,0.27399999999999997,0.687,0.039,-0.9646,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,0,2,5,4,0,2,0,6,3,0,0,0,14,8,12,1,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,9,0,4,8,1,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,39,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3491573956781867,0.0,0.0,0.4235409087899749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4231164833941588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4455778471282614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083134620042169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596999290602207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3982885778507629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,atticus__,2019/03/17,"I’ve been fairly stable for a year now, but still feel so dead inside. I’m 32 and was diagnosed last March. I found a good med combo (Lamictal, Wellbutrin, Latuda) that has had amazing results. I quit drinking and Adderall over a year ago. I quit smoking cigarettes almost 5 months ago. Smoke weed every once in a while. I exercise and eat better, as of yesterday I’m down 28 pounds (263 -> 235). 

I’m objectively “killin it” but I still have this existential void inside me. There’s this restlessness that I’ve had as along as I can remember, like I’m never where I should be and if I can find the right place I’ll feel content. I still have really bad anhedonia. Everything just feels so pointless. I’ve lost all my friends over the years because they were either fed up with my shit or I was bad at keeping in touch. The friends I did have I kinda lost when I quit drinking. I don’t have much family. I feel so alone. I still think about suicide nearly every day.

These are all the things I ran from with alcohol and drugs, and now it’s like I have to sit with them all the time because I never have an escape. I’m miserable. Sometimes I just want to go back to the way I was and drink and smoke and do drugs until I die. I feel like in some fucked up way I was better off before. 

I guess I’m just venting. I’m starting therapy again on Tuesday, so I’m sure that will help. I’m just so sick of trying so hard to feel so mediocre. ",1.52227469316189,3.5941863355932213,3.097241379310347,90.97508474576271,80.55932203389831,6.238457042665107,21.69783752191701,7.372421405659032,0.6987428404441842,1119,34,241,16,29,368,165,295,0.204,0.662,0.134,-0.9842,0,1,9,0,0,1,37.0,0,0,2,8,23,18,2,2,11,0,24,13,1,1,6,46,51,26,3,3,9,0,8,3,2,2,6,0,0,0,9,13,6,1,10,4,0,2,3,8,0,0,14,8,30,10,29,34,6,46,0,3,0,1,5,15,2,6,29,147,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17054712708260109,0.1028062143835506,0.09632822138541856,0.09963193019094556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07397018595142918,0.1606423236986918,0.1172825968813477,0.0,0.08185725985714483,0.0,0.0,0.17015830942378368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062039635911642486,0.0,0.0,0.09763876275899007,0.09983814989927506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28271172330132377,0.22311786175741347,0.09843438608260197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621016253319406,0.0,0.08645639810531686,0.0,0.09068674368746688,0.0,0.2918430504955955,0.06872374211583906,0.0,0.0,0.08792306507622337,0.0,0.0,0.10547594479118867,0.14864439482588698,0.08893333484986791,0.0,0.0,0.05467143821363383,0.08068616767783754,0.0,0.0,0.10597274461007287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861743519018965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447937125188767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550504279542838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841406297901965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409921877252622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21002256934397345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10685409221947133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678418246348402,0.0,0.07071646665794866,0.0,0.14838737900181448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244753917003872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10050624765686676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3069546696612811,0.0,0.0,0.06162678703496961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897337787019158,0.08215241300665019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987456802419904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951421041486692,0.0,0.0680893124074222,0.0,0.3072948145447031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522480198084253,0.0,0.09066530727367443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001059135193278,0.0,0.06390955737024502,0.061639679015336075,0.0,0.0,0.05609372267830947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06531200546162996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05673996687220208,0.15271470438897955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18584472710679106
bipolarreddit,ayviem,2019/05/29,"Napping every day Does anyone else take a daily nap? I told my academic advisor I do this - usually for an hour, but on bad days sometimes an hour and a half - and she seemed shocked. I have tried not napping but it usually creates anxiety and fatigue, and also leads to hypomania the following day. I often wish I didn’t nap so much but it does help.",2.2020496894409973,4.5465614202898585,4.3296480331262925,81.57782608695653,79.72463768115942,8.000828157349899,28.697722567287784,8.841846274778883,2.7154331262939966,274,13,52,7,7,94,51,69,0.161,0.711,0.128,-0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,5,0,3,1,0,1,0,12,8,9,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,4,0,2,2,3,0,1,2,0,7,0,3,6,1,10,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,2,7,34,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15545160342802916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487058957842356,0.0,0.0,0.13592025091074494,0.19917295247193745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16230543239205816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3760915442547347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34021960032191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16238580244894216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637798419817696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302938352788643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3828650373848672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14289716973572875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17696306782788376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19225419549463024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461551986889442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857455744849599,0.0,0.1319763440016604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4281807089848196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22353601717269905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PhD_noob_mutha,2019/05/29,At Least Doggo Will Be Happy Having a really poopy day.  At least I can manage to take doggo out for a walk and he can be happy for me.,2.241,2.4141991000000007,5.206666666666667,84.45000000000002,74.66666666666666,7.333333333333332,15.0,7.1686216300943375,-0.2290000000000001,103,0,23,1,2,38,22,30,0.0,0.772,0.228,0.8126,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,6,4,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,19,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649601219086803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8747012644970945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631969186421605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30890324326978685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,adictedtocoffee,2019/05/29,"Has anyone been through this? I met my doctor on February and firstly she thought it was a panic disorder and depression. Put on antidepressants and I got worse. Super suicidal. 
All my life i always had a lingering feeling I might be on tje spectrum for bipolar but never believe I had it.
Upon speaking with my cousin she started talking about my mood changes and my behaviour to my doctor, things I didn’t even notice myself. Most people think im moody sometimes. 
After that my doctor put me on olanzepine. She said she isn’t sure its a personality disorder or an illness like schizophrenia (i made the mistake during my depression stage of attributing different personalities to my moods). The med is okay, im no longer depressed and I actually feel okay. 
I say okay cause i think I’m going through a manic phase now, i feel erratic and euforic but I’m keeping it all inside of me like a bubble. I cutted my hair all of the blue, pierced my ears, almost got a tattoo. I feel this impulsiveness inside of me crawling out.
I asked my doctor if I might be bipolar and she asked if I ever feel euforic, I said yes and she said we should focus on meds and therapy and not diagnosis. I wanna go back to school in September but i know that during manic phases ill be drinking and smoking weed like before. Its almost as if  I have no control and I end up regretting everything.
Is the olanzepine working? Or should I ask the doctor about another mood stabiliser? I feel it does nothing for my mania.",3.3090751879699236,5.822701259649122,4.734028822055142,79.25111842105262,76.75438596491226,7.299498746867169,28.7750626566416,8.306716005460428,2.436822055137845,1189,53,206,23,28,395,156,285,0.158,0.752,0.09,-0.9701,1,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,1,0,0,4,6,19,1,1,12,4,17,13,2,4,6,55,43,21,1,8,9,1,7,3,0,4,10,6,0,2,11,15,1,2,10,1,0,4,6,8,0,1,13,14,47,8,26,23,4,22,0,4,1,0,20,9,0,10,11,146,58,7,0.0,0.0,0.08598944840253774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764728272146288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332037513654477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239832256808833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06161343188700456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471324066398704,0.0,0.0,0.0677565082002879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498104847817501,0.0992776465240612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09052039766132952,0.09321606679837263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883067080974682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276850427099027,0.0,0.0,0.09206347538472133,0.20197935570064274,0.4509572458907065,0.07711175130489989,0.0,0.0,0.08632108081473855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780454779300222,0.0,0.0,0.0582004254061176,0.07970684110551485,0.0,0.0,0.07919384778938866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673275156707889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495224679820991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015780558064266,0.0,0.140950375699144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19036288980873836,0.0,0.0,0.07832240866798137,0.0,0.0,0.04842678040034557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06223961945682796,0.12914849680188864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08337840440142796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19575617074849447,0.0,0.0,0.18695635316459952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796123690129384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455060600617716,0.10032175053997047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338627447550848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06108920969824048,0.1538806728574071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17716377905891606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514582415333074,0.0700741486177248,0.0,0.08917907456668178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714993313893916,0.0,0.0623696425140098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09638565952734196,0.0,0.08304919822432395,0.0,0.0,0.07082507996327543,0.0,0.0,0.1007694308075717,0.0,0.05854099719145173,0.1129235884146115,0.0,0.06995502874101886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06415020117234099,0.0,0.08979871703580762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Grassy04,2019/05/29,Help please I dont know what to do I keep thinking about how I just want to get it over with. Ive got friends and kids that care about me but my kids dont know about this side of me and my few friends either get mad or tell me im stupid when i get like this. Im tired of taking my meds they dont work and i cant afford them anymore anyways since i lost yet another job. Im so tired of faking happiness and being a screw up. I want to go so bad but i dont want to hurt my kids. I wish i had way to make it seem accidental.,-0.9113414634146332,0.5297060975609753,1.6465243902439042,101.51417682926832,85.58536585365854,5.0756097560975615,16.754065040650403,5.985473137389443,-0.8232325203252033,402,8,112,3,12,138,71,123,0.225,0.561,0.214,-0.773,2,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,2,2,10,12,3,0,1,0,9,3,0,2,0,21,27,11,0,4,5,0,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,3,6,5,0,1,4,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,3,0,20,5,14,23,2,7,0,2,0,1,9,3,1,2,3,65,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287981161935585,0.0,0.0,0.12181449783123333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255803998138048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252335184474719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5758240579281163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897965297881902,0.0,0.1925210425139343,0.0,0.06980720170196457,0.0,0.09823848724876083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075497276412568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233045666382156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13149221004692951,0.0,0.3980329012324848,0.0,0.12188996534562735,0.10917707607456134,0.0,0.0,0.13500847018705125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06000860417877324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13408361238705668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199007519943999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13643660038899075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13483061338520616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181995031244502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160636476506817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923529822120778,0.0,0.1073589601905195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870459688757324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823503639586509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173452048142488,0.09749685137676584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412486042432551,0.0,0.0,0.08942180804577643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,maripiri,2019/05/29,"Just Starting hypo mania 


I’m trying to sleep with my Ambien but something switched an I am I. Full hypomanicmode. I feel like walking outside to work off the extra energy but it would be too dangerous. I don’t know what im asking. I just don’t want to be The only one going through this.  Please tell me I’m not crazy?",-0.1463636363636347,2.1666149696969725,2.5385454545454564,88.61781818181818,96.27272727272728,5.0642424242424235,18.72121212121212,6.742157984588678,0.4465503030303033,252,8,51,4,10,87,51,66,0.061,0.745,0.195,0.8015,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,1,0,3,0,6,1,1,0,0,10,14,2,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,0,1,7,1,6,11,2,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,34,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.286931059384171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15518921277235506,0.2192654596972498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17443110143822316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315289142948121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16867655187469086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14994680588062015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20797859542198646,0.233428353777426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3369086831582717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071441058505892,0.0,0.0,0.23628389698254296,0.0,0.0,0.21724128992158284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26826374956622345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20838019671797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18103081317181008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22344319912172012,0.0,0.0,0.21802890253543988,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AndromedaZ,2019/05/29,"Self harm I'm trying to quit self harm, and it's really fucking difficult. I use it as a way to feel in control, and I just don't know how else to find that feeling. I've had some success with journaling because it helps me quiet my mind, and I guess running doesn't make things worse, but that's the extent of my victories in finding alternatives. For anyone out there who has struggled with self harm, what worked for you?",7.868764705882352,6.118733258823532,7.690441176470588,77.77448529411767,63.470588235294116,10.852941176470587,35.367647058823536,9.516144504307137,3.0312941176470587,337,12,68,5,4,108,64,85,0.16399999999999998,0.754,0.08199999999999999,-0.8485,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,4,3,7,1,1,2,0,4,1,0,4,0,20,12,6,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,8,6,0,1,5,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,1,3,7,1,12,11,2,5,0,0,0,1,6,3,1,2,0,41,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327557212961233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573793545054847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212946050685662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15860509517831456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919995693485663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34706032441287743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17552409039286865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20915407743923645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272603012941944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043430298426994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12673416492294806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917062023967098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201941297846278,0.0,0.0,0.1216302723428586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5942015087289991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19848468143215292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126135682910802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289036374239113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639795569368102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15070338710868253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13822158524693046,0.0,0.19348530160465774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,northeast_southwest,2019/05/29,"Safe to quit smoking on lithium? Former smoker, recently switched to vaping. I've been stepping down my nicotine level every couple of weeks but wanted to know if it was safe to do so? Just had my levels checked and I'm still sitting at .6, and don't really want to have to pay for another psych appt to ask her a quick question. Thanks!",2.923034825870644,4.981233865671643,4.263507462686569,84.38441542288558,76.01492537313433,6.854726368159205,26.092039800995025,7.793537801064563,1.642812935323383,267,10,50,4,6,88,56,67,0.046,0.8109999999999999,0.14400000000000002,0.8420000000000001,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,11,12,5,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,3,3,12,9,0,12,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,5,31,4,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091894494790293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756569983583921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262601791341583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484347019523017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16204893287960992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3303139190701399,0.31362297864692923,0.0,0.0,0.18889671757404533,0.0,0.29114153111081703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23547788464974306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27147013280948834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3478355440252697,0.0,0.2365212243076146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,babyforks,2019/01/02,"Finding natural alternative to klonopin for sleep I’ve been prescribed 1 mg of klonopin for sleep for the past five or so months. It works well compared to ambien, but I moved to another state and haven’t been able to find a psychiatrist under my network. I’m running low on my prescription from my old psychiatrist and fear another manic episode may occur if I don’t get enough sleep. I’m thinking of weaning off what I have left to prep for this.",6.867931034482758,6.964364528735633,6.929333333333336,76.37400000000002,64.63218390804597,10.63816091954023,36.94022988505747,10.355215969177356,3.7545098850574696,362,17,69,8,5,116,62,87,0.083,0.877,0.04,-0.6858,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,2,0,6,3,3,0,0,9,10,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,2,1,1,2,0,6,1,15,7,1,11,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,3,3,41,9,1,0.19220800700130347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4030937085314497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986022516712847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21628744488325485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3513492725150943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10042075056524756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20883456199995454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15341859741708955,0.20428669310408545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20168997048092926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18348429147206854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5770404519757898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12315912986727112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728180815478404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13992971828326387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,xXCyberRoninXx,2019/01/02,"I want to live! I'll be 29 in a couple of days and I'm actually surprised that I'm getting so old. 

My depression is getting worse and often enough I've been thinking about suicide, BUT I do not want to and will not give up! 

I want to live!",0.3994339622641512,2.0428919622641537,3.0156981132075447,92.32128301886793,82.20754716981132,5.749433962264153,23.807547169811322,6.742157984588678,0.6258105660377358,186,7,44,2,5,65,37,53,0.158,0.736,0.106,-0.6866,0,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,11,14,5,1,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,4,1,7,11,1,4,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,27,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.2408917988907912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731368792068888,0.0,0.15919902309265085,0.0,0.2126131385413733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550639509306031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579398086279809,0.2368027899669274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4359494159683521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25902949388050994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27001586057541804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15817269941689888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4367988543273576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25156312648474244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Little_Menace_Child,2019/01/02,"Productivity and decision making when hypomanic. What helps maintain a semblance of productivity when you are hypomanic, how do you stop doing half jobs/ getting distracted? 

Also, what helps you with making day to day decisions? I sometimes spend hours doing the grocery shopping because every item I weigh up whether cost, nutrition, or other reasons are the most important. ",10.248,12.409945800000001,9.92666666666667,50.61000000000002,57.66666666666666,12.0,45.0,11.698219412168324,6.519000000000001,308,18,35,9,4,100,47,60,0.07200000000000001,0.809,0.11900000000000001,0.4684,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,0,4,1,0,1,3,0,5,1,0,4,0,12,8,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,1,3,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,0,4,8,2,7,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,6,30,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315700181247722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17651994181387956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3734989917508915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439762610345148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15128902267022798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3881870000915335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28516934432137603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28735477675038906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3865821060474669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2977274654624139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2863933632943645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420945249939598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Serendipity10,2019/01/02,"Bipolar and different perspectives? Hi everyone. I’ve been a lurker for a long time. I’ve tried to read through the subreddit and the internet to find other stories that relate to me, but I can’t seem to find it. So here it goes!

Background: I’m a 20 year old male college student diagnosed with MDD in Feb 2017, which transformed to a Bipolar2 diagnosis in Nov 2017. I’ve been on Lithium and Wellbutrin, adjusting dosages according to my psychiatrist. However things got rough ever since October since my insurance ran out so I haven’t been taking a steady dose of Lithium since (dw my insurance is now reinstated and I can’t wait to be stable wooo!)

Sorry had to get that aside. So sometimes when I notice myself being either depressed, hypomania, or in a mixed state, I can’t help but doubt my perspective on life. Sometimes my views on religion, family, self-worth, body positivity, and other thoughts change so frequently that I can’t tell if it’s my bipolar influencing my thoughts or if I’m experiencing life changes.

I’ve been doubting and question my religion (islam btw), sometimes feeling so distant. And then all of a sudden, I’ll enjoy praying and I feel so connected to God. Imagine a twist on a perspective like this but also to weed, alcohol, body image, etc. That’s been happening quite a bit.

A question for you all: have you guys ever questioned your perspective on life and doubt it being an effect of Bipolar? Sometimes I don’t know if this is who I am NOW, or if it’ll change in a few days/weeks. It really makes it hard for me to be grounded in my beliefs and have a steady outlook on life. I always think my values on life are changing because I’m growing as an individual, but what if it’s Bipolar? I would really appreciate it if I could hear any similar stories, updates, or comments where anyone could relate to this feeling. Sometimes I feel so lost because I’m sick of analyzing my thoughts and feelings 24/7 and comparing it to my previous feelings “x days or weeks ago”, and finally trying to see where and who I am today.

TL;DR — Bipolar 2, 20 year old college guy trying to figure out if these different perspectives on life I’m having are due to bipolar or are natural? How do you distinguish what’s grounded and what’s bound to change?",5.730498084291187,6.821278148148153,6.69048850574713,73.62750000000003,67.28703703703704,9.84750957854406,35.498403575989784,10.004066432519934,3.7770691890166015,1808,89,316,42,29,603,210,432,0.064,0.836,0.099,0.9432,3,0,1,0,0,0,54.0,0,4,0,3,17,7,0,3,17,0,31,18,2,4,4,74,58,44,0,10,18,0,8,1,0,2,16,1,0,3,27,18,1,2,23,1,0,2,6,5,0,0,12,12,33,2,42,38,6,43,3,2,2,0,17,19,0,20,22,204,60,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06774942993872247,0.08167903544068797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06112000272390521,0.06359479987969377,0.0,0.0,0.051974135956224986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05344072317494484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318045066330427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344034410247785,0.16979010924019028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4042571456143557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12204419367720094,0.0,0.0,0.04929018786207947,0.0,0.06582792618364001,0.0775735203518253,0.0,0.15970344620897345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523820204568848,0.0,0.13826826716878796,0.0,0.0730308968715796,0.0,0.0,0.07205017513838517,0.0,0.23186787887758584,0.0,0.0,0.08372390360200127,0.13970889194736907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03993084058368485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611270122313311,0.0,0.0,0.15135285559821446,0.06758564583576579,0.0,0.06846510189368019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614069808442172,0.0,0.051228545679422366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04200321401305618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239031008699061,0.037339201613848634,0.0,0.0,0.06763699326360907,0.0,0.0,0.08343095301997391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05101674984950609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701458001665427,0.16039812515381066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25685290216323586,0.08129132884389795,0.07644938137434615,0.0,0.0979243628900786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06090377759341317,0.0695778168198725,0.07973180120624124,0.0,0.0,0.18966782802899135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3779496863714975,0.08555567086594931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05746486974074199,0.0,0.06680205138024102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05077583133221719,0.048972424060503415,0.0,0.18202754875755955,0.044566188825398964,0.0,0.07244546977835806,0.0,0.0,0.15567020848274052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261298395100813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05429275469794537,0.0,0.0,0.09843515227713297
bipolarreddit,countrymouse,2019/01/02,"2019 resolution: be S.T.A.B.L.E. Hey friends! We made it through another year. I’m really proud of us. 

I’ve officially made it past the one year mark of my major manic episode post diagnosis. 2018 was really hard as I was in a depressive episode and had to work through medication and side effects for the first six months. 

I started a new job in September and started taking improv classes in May. Things are finally at a relatively calm place—for the first time since my husband and I got married in 20-5, it looks like we might have a nice quiet year without any major life changes (that happened to me in prediagnosis manic episodes)

We know that stability is never guaranteed. My goal this year is to do everything in my power to stay stable, and be able to steer through an episode if/when one comes up. So, what does stable mean to me?

S: Sleep. 8-10 hours, one hour without electronics, in bed by 10:30, out of bed by 7:30 
T: Therapy. Going to personal and couples therapy, meditation, journaling, being kind to myself through self talk. 
A: Activity. Working out consistently, more walking and biking as transport, being outside more
B: Balance. Work vs life, alone vs social, self care vs being productive, comfort vs growth
L: Learning- less tv, more books and hobbies. More improv!
E: Eat healthy, drink water, take meds and vitamins

It’s a tall order. I’m probably not going to be able do to all the things all the time, but it’s easy for me to remember and my ultimate goal is to be healthy. What about you?",3.680914188836724,6.168650531690142,4.7579968701095465,79.68476004173188,75.3732394366197,8.151069379238391,30.588941053729787,8.94667605116694,2.9075343244653107,1197,57,216,28,27,391,175,284,0.023,0.87,0.10800000000000001,0.9649,2,1,1,0,0,0,58.0,4,1,0,10,2,9,0,0,12,0,19,8,1,3,3,36,36,14,0,0,8,1,1,1,1,2,4,1,2,3,12,16,3,0,5,4,0,6,4,1,0,6,6,3,17,8,39,21,9,39,0,1,1,0,13,13,0,2,18,126,29,9,0.20768218047805329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754805265337457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061550222525079,0.10888643718706867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587291214456628,0.0,0.10985010463568846,0.08944990452241801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489819126038063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943817886303357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087203784093068,0.0,0.0,0.1017247357183096,0.0,0.10625535927112208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09332567619468583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11375283864446226,0.0,0.17665435662014106,0.0,0.0,0.08022736872971031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803056920340495,0.0,0.08305120592827288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182633315790434,0.0,0.0930212203854086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20452511338140214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030462591191563,0.0,0.0,0.10813451598645678,0.05706834751624964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466920659634042,0.05073151147471866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720036275391584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19651390071338026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131133893290407,0.11534404195747094,0.10460897377905394,0.0,0.11015898687218867,0.0,0.0,0.08288496752700246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008865039249086,0.10029037202764188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110962305235082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09912807049742588,0.0,0.09067003465915076,0.10849183785035356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945106012042056,0.0,0.11195825837570733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13304652282040288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176317126300594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166578080391632,0.0,0.0,0.08589842290994079,0.0,0.10391608303251793,0.10585291448183784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469985162766827,0.11068078569810806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15615115335323215,0.08346353490354129,0.0,0.0,0.2375026730581551,0.0,0.13797481245091078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110114957260698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490804594133564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001982108249502,0.0,0.22679265130628154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.267481030200224
bipolarreddit,sko56,2019/01/02,"Ruminating thought lead me to burning bridges. not sure if I did it for them or me... Communication has been difficult for me, it like I get to the first or second chapter of my story before getting cut off.  instead of cutting myself again over the pain, I've cut ties.  and stressed others.   It's time for change. just not sure how much more or where... ",1.7985294117647044,4.410680323529416,2.8220588235294137,89.96926470588238,84.0,5.1647058823529415,24.676470588235286,6.6274283507984215,0.8531117647058828,274,11,55,3,8,87,52,68,0.237,0.73,0.033,-0.9067,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,1,2,5,9,3,1,2,0,3,1,0,2,2,13,6,6,0,1,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,6,0,2,3,0,8,3,9,3,2,7,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,4,4,42,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519627023736565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132387792896452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518659185960994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3094042466815135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14466146189447282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21767051661085016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150755422175926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3391861416165549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5581490480399707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350735078257061,0.17266062871993004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,businessgabe,2019/01/22,"does anyone else have severe Dermatophagia? Hi this is a throwaway account because I don't want my irl friends to see this.

​

I've always been a nail biter. But what I really am is a nail eater. and a toe nail biter. But I usually use a knife and cut up my skin around my nails and chew on it... and eat it. uhh. Its fucking nasty. I cant control it. I also bite the insides of my lips and shit. I also take mucus out of my eyes to discard it. I scrape oil out of my face with my fingernails. Ill bite and pull moles out of my body.

​

I used to be a cutter but I don't do that anymore. I've been a nail biter basically forever but not until recently did I realize that I do all of this things all over my body. but I use a fucking knife and swallow it. What the fuck is wrong with me. im such a fucking freak :((

​

does anyone have advice on how I can fix this? have any of you had experience with this. sorry for being gross. thank you in advance",0.3209590792838881,2.480474480392157,2.3877578857630013,93.7412148337596,86.05882352941177,5.312531969309464,20.634271099744247,6.7026698264267655,0.2946089514066497,750,24,168,9,23,251,112,204,0.159,0.8140000000000001,0.026000000000000002,-0.9738,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,2,0,2,5,11,6,0,11,0,19,17,8,5,2,29,30,16,0,1,6,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,16,14,3,1,1,0,1,2,4,9,0,0,4,4,25,2,23,24,2,14,0,0,2,4,4,9,5,0,3,113,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022757414319244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739836710980274,0.08708822956556983,0.34020784563144624,0.3815320068748872,0.07117461635527761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379784537458718,0.14636599145886248,0.1072398942210878,0.0,0.09317250504383644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638017612583151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23251460873288105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11738876310397578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18318307530036235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709665998962517,0.0874327365312547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10238076668747192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086258697581962,0.3870380464878305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130542977825381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704997430266617,0.0,0.1033423578245458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340307972506374,0.0,0.0,0.11823971002933616,0.10743534818662173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11716196794557796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07869375762491042,0.0,0.0,0.09635988206985424,0.0,0.0,0.06953362953902066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711863962891453,0.11527181118006495,0.0,0.061733111585981215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443286137649147,0.3815320068748872,0.0
bipolarreddit,sub-dural,2019/01/22,"Color Immersion Does anyone find themselves enchanted by colors and unable to pull yourself away while manic or having symptoms?

I spent 15 minutes in a red tiled stairwell (old, faded, worn tiles) today and missed my train.  Worth it. ",5.7070000000000025,8.875767699999997,5.125000000000004,76.13000000000002,72.0,6.0,27.5,7.1686216300943375,1.9905,188,7,25,2,4,57,39,40,0.10300000000000001,0.7929999999999999,0.105,0.0258,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,2,3,2,0,4,2,0,7,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,1,4,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842111177524753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38188904665865997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3557019363960961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3715033964860127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4265186521347351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4224747580246182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3852831084341247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RetinalFlashes,2019/01/22,"Is ""feeling like someone or something isn't quite real to me"" a sign of something? If so what? I started lithium 450mg a week ago today. On Sunday night I wrote

>Good. But I've noticed all day and a little bit yesterday that it's weird that other creatures/people are alive. I have looked at my dog a few times and my brain is confused that she is real. That's probably not good? The feeling/thought fades and doesn't worry me. I'm not getting manic about it. Like, I don't gaf that it happened. Whatever. I believe she's real. I'm taking my meds. So I'm confused as to why that would happen.

Nothing else weird had happened. I was with my husband all day and he didn't notice anything strange. Is that a normal feeling to have or is it something that comes along with having bipolar? Im sure if it is it will continue to fade as I level out my lithium levels.",1.5283615819209049,3.713139152542373,3.245000000000001,89.31179378531073,81.20338983050847,4.837288135593222,26.217514124293785,5.82211442006289,0.8743310734463279,678,29,133,4,18,225,105,177,0.063,0.8290000000000001,0.10800000000000001,0.7545,0,0,3,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,3,8,0,2,6,0,18,2,1,0,3,30,32,13,0,4,7,1,2,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,16,9,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,4,3,16,4,14,26,4,20,0,0,1,0,5,6,0,6,15,86,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142049258921268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602066558353702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14515352632956005,0.0,0.0,0.14065503316051567,0.0,0.0,0.14382306251473215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11098040319819136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16617652007077366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076255554216396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302862324102711,0.0920401300171738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06731124813588431,0.0,0.0,0.21612226386444305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34178650717916464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916448317158134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12588506669466376,0.1291270496726583,0.0,0.0,0.10818939907345274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310723249280885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12090341950458075,0.12623146727971962,0.12362116795469585,0.29336021487781466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931833618997463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13890649433604793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703244727943664,0.0,0.4399291243324945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916192843008893,0.29755166129584243,0.0,0.0,0.09119045287428744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214259644861908,0.0,0.09686828650924456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228102157703353,0.07512503495162531,0.0,0.12212102027634722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334409277098533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625402881496807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13083873687549616,0.0,0.09152106567341532,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,psilocyborg10,2019/01/22,"Looking for tips for my husband My husband was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II. He hasn’t been able to be in our home because he is actively in his illness and it’s just not good for our child to be around. But because of this added stress of not being home he’s been in a really bad place mentally, like worse than ever. I’ve been trying to help but there’s not really much I can do beyond just encouraging him to learn more about Bipolar disorder, talking to him, listening, etc. I don’t really know much myself, and I’m worried about him. Can any of you guys tell me what knowledge or practice has helped you most? Maybe groups to connect with other people who experience this?

Sorry if this is redundant to other questions asked, and TIA. ",3.906425287356321,5.83770726896552,4.910086206896555,81.38145114942532,72.86206896551724,8.14367816091954,27.94540229885057,8.841846274778883,2.3233333333333337,594,23,110,12,12,194,95,145,0.11900000000000001,0.782,0.099,0.1411,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,2,0,0,8,5,0,1,1,0,15,4,0,0,1,21,20,7,0,1,9,2,0,1,0,0,4,1,2,2,8,6,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,4,2,14,3,23,13,5,8,0,0,1,0,25,6,0,4,3,80,22,1,0.16304988711863785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11087951445954486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14514896811908198,0.15242963433907047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613984514572774,0.19878739562636835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16549220325225672,0.0,0.0,0.1868692966177123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18184372442844904,0.0,0.14748795768101286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15949407642238855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675850946561574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16144502291418694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185778047830209,0.0,0.3271046621103729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960795383747426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965793887824546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13692084001624516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16380552700503848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16431593647285886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397208555853217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113038261832675,0.0,0.17035242863951966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18265318929253266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3133617984575193,0.0,0.16099209304470713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18252099953844247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18677309480633533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13105332304600864,0.14251278805637468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107001704778706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655850749988428,0.16616176471545155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,burdrean91,2019/01/22,"New to reddit, please forgive my possible lack of etiquette: My SO (in recovery from substance abuse) goes through episodes of depression quite frequently. Usually at night, and leading to suicidal thoughts and/or ideation. I want to help her so bad, but I don't know how. She lives in a sober house where most medications that have worked for her in the past are not allowed and if she were to take them on the low, she would be evicted outright. I don't know what I would do if anything were to happen. I trust her to call someone before it escalates to an intolerable level, but shit if I'm not still worried for the girl. Please... I want to be strong for her but I'm terribly inexperienced and unequipped to give her any real advice. ",6.028849206349207,6.866533964285718,5.985238095238099,79.8575396825397,66.5,9.365079365079367,34.12698412698413,9.444778638647367,3.0389603174603166,585,26,112,11,9,184,93,140,0.14,0.738,0.122,-0.6922,2,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,0,0,1,4,5,8,1,0,5,0,11,2,1,3,0,25,21,12,1,8,8,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,3,0,17,3,21,14,2,15,0,2,0,0,14,8,1,4,6,75,20,2,0.0,0.19908923162197692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16419792642400308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426682667794985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382751772550976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14029884749274954,0.0,0.0,0.14298198572392107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715784149422828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472483463948682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611906246963365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485892384076812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262762222818415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19388518767963175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846908616081332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14837443153806587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692735320020859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622853650660836,0.0,0.15768568958445875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16040458105527167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36889510891821337,0.0,0.1894296799304106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17872162783522658,0.0,0.1912560389742277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17248138365856622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14237210189258326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13418975562749266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18379861677368425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633838331178399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13339782683455345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850623823979229,0.0,0.19821804803764967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12232855280598195,0.17064361399464378,0.0,0.23872877063944836,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mentallychillll,2019/01/22,"Lithium 300mg for a manic episode? So I haven’t been taking any meds except for Wellbutrin & anxiety stuff. For a while. My mood has been fine but right now i’m unable to relax my head is buzzing so much and i have all these strong cravings & my delusions are coming back. So if I take a Lithium will i feel better? And yes, i am now aware that i need those kind of meds, I’ll talk to my doctor when I can, but right now it’s 1am & I’m kind of freaking out and really restless. Already took anxiety meds but they’re not working ",1.0631339712918688,2.9553143245614035,2.632519936204148,94.64748803827752,81.19298245614036,5.1980861244019145,21.767145135566192,6.1124844417494595,0.14972982456140382,419,13,94,3,11,137,76,114,0.092,0.7559999999999999,0.152,0.833,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,8,9,0,1,3,1,10,2,1,0,1,14,18,12,0,2,6,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,1,1,0,2,2,2,0,0,3,1,11,6,9,14,2,11,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,6,57,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16468521842586833,0.0,0.0,0.4850901980490226,0.0,0.10148533958634104,0.0,0.22832968272569956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475298055640915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198677900877742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128553273011734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527489814454405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07545801385672367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15315880132011578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108118679347456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4973013955197514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970535248817706,0.11065632179447407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560416001957073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548928093436024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17083908139686516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22441322833479715,0.119949938977188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658062656929637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864530926031553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AceyCaseyKay,2019/01/22,"My job is triggering a really bad depressive faze. I really really hate my job, and it's exacerbating everything else. I'm constantly stressed, I want to die just so I don't have to keep going to that hell hole just to survive. I've been looking for a new job and so far no call backs.
I've taken to drinking to numb everything, I'm so anxious all the time it feels like I'm on a never ending rollercoaster.
I have diagnosed bipolar type 2 and general anxiety disorder that I am not currently medicated for, but I can't get myself to just call around to get in to a doctor
I promise I will not kill myself, but I can't stop thinking about just dying to escape. I fantasize about natural disasters wiping out my town daily. I want a nearby volcano to blow, or a meteor to hit me.
My house is a disaster, I can hardly bathe more than once a week (pretty proud of myself for actually keeping my teeth brushed more often than not recently) I just hope I hit a manic episode soon just for a break from this depression, but I don't think that's going to happen until I get a new job.
If you've made it this far thank you for reading my  rambling.",7.387006269592477,5.6061176379310345,8.657006269592479,70.56134796238246,64.43103448275862,12.574294670846395,35.74608150470219,11.567385478589935,4.059115517241379,900,34,177,24,11,315,131,232,0.183,0.7020000000000001,0.11599999999999999,-0.9294,5,0,1,0,1,2,20.0,0,1,0,2,15,13,3,1,12,0,12,7,1,2,2,34,36,12,3,4,14,0,2,1,0,1,5,0,1,0,8,5,1,3,3,3,0,2,9,8,0,0,3,4,27,5,29,30,3,23,1,2,1,0,3,7,1,4,14,116,35,7,0.0,0.0,0.1104942982233133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661919126352187,0.12791553081754944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079702020011842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706542445307784,0.09454073906978666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23123711202124064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223593576950393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19504640377429808,0.11492414427978866,0.23502579548192815,0.0,0.12976921923760626,0.11589376450039235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109204376082608,0.0,0.0,0.09458755355076187,0.0,0.100286494140674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20352424158204385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057251532578644994,0.08089018163680557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17747103639127262,0.0,0.12870028410245687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012724030113562,0.0,0.10143014281773012,0.11178931310715903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11246105775926428,0.0,0.130650032166971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4494456957663547,0.2012846864749222,0.1252701232831582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055317533278107664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508309191431498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713917175265318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406540471586844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732849573175294,0.218712820921078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205842376531217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11519369016387955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325874725445816,0.0,0.21761047245719667,0.0,0.1117990948538706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466376673603363,0.12970241300363633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10424522744028814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14510399690344492,0.0,0.0,0.06602421923539714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13356974125834015,0.0,0.09082475691609827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,couldyoufuck1ingnot,2019/01/22,"I'm going off meds, and I'm not telling my doc. I'm tired of the side effects and feeling like a numb lazy blob. I want to feel again. I'm going to take my gabapentin, clonidine, and smoke CBD (<2% THC). But everything else is being put away. I need to be functional, not just calm. ",0.8098870056497169,2.8162127288135608,2.0450000000000017,97.91518361581923,82.72881355932203,5.289265536723164,21.69774011299436,6.42735559955562,0.13726892655367262,217,7,51,2,6,69,44,59,0.163,0.7490000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.6664,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,1,0,12,14,4,0,2,4,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,2,4,2,6,12,0,7,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,23,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801851688274889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24912246447015415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680186702108091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30157546855318745,0.2130466498426219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3389677684855906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14569401259814005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3312524270136653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211245061187578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29979096734364397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22422245506323216,0.0,0.2606552495692548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3427571599660067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758964148653071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PlanBrandom,2019/01/22,"Wwwwooo guys I feel ssso great right now (had a couple shots) while the family is gone. It's great but sucks cause I gotta pretend to be more sober when they get back. I'm fucking up though for real I don't know if my meds are working and kinda want to stop but don't want my psych to take me off of a stimulant cause I need my job as much as mental health. I've been drinking because everything was so meh but I think if I stop my meds I will be great for a bit then hit some lows, I don't want to do that but I do. We'll see.......",1.2506666666666677,1.9716434000000047,3.081666666666667,96.71666666666668,77.5,6.333333333333334,20.0,6.42735559955562,-0.1857499999999992,408,8,106,3,9,137,82,120,0.121,0.76,0.11900000000000001,-0.0488,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,1,1,5,6,2,0,4,0,14,3,0,3,0,22,30,14,0,6,6,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,1,1,2,3,2,0,1,3,3,0,0,4,2,16,3,11,20,4,12,0,1,1,1,3,4,2,4,7,63,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582266988151535,0.0,0.09182066616916974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16444539442201886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3094703199545077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16666562925466927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755686667717904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13537360665109308,0.0,0.14199749049759058,0.0,0.07616140850080938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392519993195921,0.0786962577877458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4981995569913351,0.0,0.14914415983938953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601091871549396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14947380311247724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278052025871709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3346247164161876,0.0,0.15179633197173958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11072798949415814,0.11168782342175317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17144621310501088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12863441789759772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003001468737146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518614082061321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325256710735004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651553666342924,0.14799001296893466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665306718213086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965806489398283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,flounderingknitter,2019/02/16,"Meds and hallucinations I had my first visual hallucination while taking abilify. I also had my first auditory, and full visual (ie not just shadows or people moving out of the corner of my eye, but a demon sitting on me) then.

I had the mild visual hallucinations continue until I stopped lithium.

On no meds, I see words in the carpet, but just barely.

On depakote, they’re back. I saw shadows moving in front of me a few times last night. I couldn’t sleep for hours because I was sobbing in terror. 

Wtf. How did meds make this worse?",2.646657754010697,5.277207676470589,4.453814616755796,79.64671122994655,80.07843137254902,6.062032085561497,22.998217468805706,7.348242739294969,1.1894196078431376,421,14,75,6,11,142,70,102,0.217,0.7829999999999999,0.0,-0.9758,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,1,5,0,6,2,2,2,0,14,10,10,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,2,6,3,13,0,12,3,2,25,1,1,3,0,0,9,1,1,12,55,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15156327433488284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14573321892320712,0.0,0.11553283358253788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32242016247771643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866441947678709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15448837473902322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650957638276653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6315594836203021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4028706949749651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17785660878245912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13139294522797676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15102708671527654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18966212334880111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845159577982296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424994016521519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051369767629736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19314242183375788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,errantpea,2019/02/16,"A win but also a vent I just want to share that over the last year I've been 300% more active than I used to be. I've gone hundreds of kilometers on my stationary bike and when I bike I go hard 75% of the time -- drenched in sweat, heart pounding, out of breath. I started doing pilates to strengthen my core and my arms. I walk my two dogs through the woods 5 days a week. 

However, thanks to magic of seroquel, I'm still kinda fat. I'm right at the line of healthy/overweight on the bmi index (seriously if I lost 1/2 pound I'd be in the healthy category). 

I'm watching what I eat, getting loads of veggies, switched out most carbs for alternatives, even cut down on my one major weakness : potato chips. My fitness pal says I'm running a 300+ calorie deficit most days. 

But I look in the mirror and I don't see much improvement. My arms are a little more toned, I can see my cheekbones more clearly. But that's about it. 

I know that the exercise IS making me healthier. My heart, my lungs, my strength. But I wish I could see the results more. I wish I got to shop for new clothes, to show off my hard work. 

To top it off a friend of mine recently lost about 20 Pounds just by cutting out the insane amounts of candy and soda she was consuming. And everyone is gushing over how good she looks. 

I know this is a real pity party I'm throwing for myself. But I do crave that outside validation at times. Because I can't even share with the majority of my friends the reason I'm struggling with my size. Nothing makes the average conversation more awkward than tossing around the word ""antipsychotics"". 

Anyway, I just wanted to share how well I'm doing being active without anyone doubting it because of my size. I think my seroquel buddies will understand. 

",4.248323699421967,5.478828017341044,4.915692485549132,84.47005895953761,70.84971098265895,7.61692485549133,30.892023121387282,7.9765259561132025,2.0772560924855483,1378,59,273,18,25,443,198,346,0.09699999999999999,0.7120000000000001,0.191,0.9895,1,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,0,6,15,20,2,3,21,0,17,12,8,7,1,44,48,15,0,6,10,0,2,0,3,1,3,1,0,0,9,11,3,0,5,5,1,5,3,10,1,2,6,9,42,10,47,37,11,38,0,3,6,0,10,21,0,5,12,169,51,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865183890534997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625695972978202,0.0,0.0,0.1098175462125425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503995811238547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09849381215151294,0.0,0.0,0.15911542722109387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622921753672045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16295770570671692,0.0,0.0,0.11787683167871367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19061698250797965,0.0,0.06445109092045526,0.0,0.07010896437676786,0.10346945023320687,0.09866315272679248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22101465646735013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29236702990514946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13559208500173306,0.10055577331899712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12364024511834748,0.0,0.0,0.20718453421740027,0.0,0.2693264584501445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16468900403564768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068461346123204,0.0,0.0,0.11914293334808222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183683166809888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359268397290008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041195578323218,0.0,0.12683577173911442,0.12180421843086325,0.0,0.0,0.10534971797234408,0.0,0.09810170981066102,0.0,0.0,0.29490851054180545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731563196411643,0.0,0.09851634560030403,0.0,0.0,0.12896382171795548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357434038359993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790448212354494,0.0,0.0,0.14386571612206733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050588405059882,0.12842327102973627,0.0,0.10654439523292304,0.0,0.0,0.14552316332480114,0.0,0.0989528452336614,0.0,0.11091645724457598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837183878373358,0.11891571247810433,0.0,0.08980836076990434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07944051335316145
bipolarreddit,DankMasterYank,2019/02/16,"First week of student teaching This week was my first week taking over FIVE 9th grade english classes.

Monday there was a two hour delay and my co-op teacher was sick. The sub said eight words all day and I was shakey to start. I barely got sleep trying to focus on knowing the content (my memory blows) and adjusting lessons every night and i had to skip a lot of breakfasts bc I would wake up dry heaving from the nerves.

I got better almost every period it felt like and after a week of dread and wondering if I could handle of this I feel so relieved that I get a fresh start again on monday. Still a long way to go

I had to gush somewhere. I havent been happy like this in a while. Just a reminder that things can work out even with a lot of highs and lows along the way.",2.7255732946298963,4.301048949685537,3.5032704402515726,91.7302031930334,75.22641509433961,5.898597000483793,21.664731494920176,6.297961479604792,0.22734310595065305,609,15,129,4,13,193,105,159,0.095,0.8190000000000001,0.087,-0.0597,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,5,6,7,0,1,12,0,11,4,2,0,1,26,23,10,0,3,2,0,2,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,7,10,1,1,6,0,0,1,1,2,0,5,11,3,13,5,20,10,3,31,0,1,0,0,1,8,0,5,22,86,20,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033447224881624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327786357833007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11986735703164028,0.0,0.0,0.09682205058026004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09916008459981186,0.0,0.2529836214607145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591072540793553,0.0,0.1441492673697893,0.0,0.0,0.2554026394685165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07843723131110678,0.0,0.08532288557519799,0.0,0.2401468903564623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15981720091249055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15862160430296468,0.0,0.0,0.1478487561660624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08250805054923238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14669280942481105,0.0,0.0,0.13286117718175774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25527195061962304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14088773785385986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428089246757851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15023938496351028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21252693549896828,0.0,0.1198947803275042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128797995291602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974034027338108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192906846375363,0.0,0.14665613516599674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383339395117958,0.4817040083969473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628106243240746,0.10929712851678998,0.0,0.0,0.10664872806358876,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bpd11ss,2019/02/16,"Mixed state (TW) This inner tension keeps building. It is so impossibly tense I could swear it’ll snap at any given. Yet it never. ever. does. Mixed state makes me wanna rip my face off. And I am not a violent person. This horrifies me.  I see the glass of water I am drinking from in my hand, and the thought flashes I want to smash this against my face. Not for the self-loathing. No no no. But for the shock of shards in that sensation, that might actually feel refreshing, against this numbing blunting nauseating depression. I can’t run from it. 

I want to quietly go quiet. Motel. Spend what’s left of my bank account at a motel. To quietly go quiet. ",0.7891918773311204,3.338454574803152,2.626290924160795,88.13871529216745,93.80314960629921,5.8232905097389125,23.219643597181932,7.273561745256523,1.3618125984251974,509,21,99,10,19,168,84,127,0.18899999999999997,0.745,0.067,-0.9372,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,1,6,0,7,6,3,1,2,16,17,4,0,4,3,0,2,0,0,2,1,4,0,1,11,2,2,1,2,3,3,3,7,5,0,0,2,7,13,0,18,12,0,15,0,1,1,0,1,7,0,1,3,66,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.24763405271401734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725661276047201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026074461079384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21856390877431334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22206789137798708,0.0,0.0,0.24858909405653384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295412804556187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830914594240256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884363578048628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22555436553077496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757119823492197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16938738475465734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692002348826357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19571606556355284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22157424754985994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20221459890447,0.0,0.2647279830240732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20145782531095774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29934953096780365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TrixieVanSickle,2019/02/16,"Generic Abilify has become too expensive. Any suggestions for an alternative? I'm in the USA and my generic Abilify is now $30 a month (up from $5) through Medicare. I also have the ""Extra Help"" program for those familiar with it.  I'm on disability and on a very tight budget.
It's been a good mood stabilizer for me but I need to explore cheaper alternatives that are NOT Seroquel with my pdoc. 
Any suggestions that I can look up prices for and ask my pdoc about?
PS it really sucks that the US has such a shitty Healthcare system that I'm being priced out of a med that works for me.",3.708717948717952,5.1913797008547045,5.4150427350427375,79.39384615384617,72.5042735042735,8.960683760683763,29.23931623931624,9.444778638647367,2.6807367521367524,463,19,91,11,9,158,79,117,0.08,0.8859999999999999,0.034,-0.7992,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,1,5,3,1,0,9,0,8,0,0,0,0,11,15,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,1,1,0,4,1,1,1,0,0,1,2,9,1,18,13,1,10,0,0,1,0,5,6,1,0,2,63,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23153136531857374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3937710118750162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27066483671938363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31975530576872074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24283807932096685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194061102680588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431263249247249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3215946830659701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231094423347916,0.0,0.0,0.21467756811468566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18547578883716004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3482604108992873,0.0,0.0,0.2388867207970178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107761255827067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,iloveufionaapple,2019/02/16,"i think i’m having an episode or some shit they want to put me back on meds and for a long time i was really really happy and fine without them now i’m so scared and freaked out because I’m feeling really overwhelmed by this illness or whatever I have literally all the symptoms and I just thought i was misdiagnosed for a long time and i don’t understand and there’s too much stuff online and i don’t know who i can trust online Or In the real world and i feel like it’s concrete that i am CRAZY and I thought i was doing so good and I was normal and I think that I’m just freaking myself out and it’s impairing my ability to function and i have STUFF to do! I’ve worked really hard to try to rebuild my life that I fucked up and I am not going to let anything ruin that!! I’m sorry if this is a little much, I’m just really upset right now.  ",0.8203825136612011,2.719904071038254,3.2700819672131165,89.72566939890713,82.06010928961749,6.471038251366121,21.642076502732237,7.594959193182576,0.8317519125683059,667,21,148,11,18,231,99,183,0.179,0.701,0.12,-0.9174,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,2,1,10,13,2,3,6,0,16,5,1,0,1,38,33,20,0,3,9,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,11,16,0,0,8,0,0,2,4,8,0,0,6,3,23,5,15,26,4,17,0,2,0,1,3,8,2,5,8,104,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11711818366235842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943618290328824,0.0,0.08675765484831667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14392370404503718,0.10167426126150042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13157361406689125,0.0,0.0,0.08088439193409189,0.11937223207138105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15150351549025656,0.1274917997705272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821598453160954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14553302310046048,0.10052564040895401,0.06953092720341891,0.1426431859874044,0.0,0.2518994864167587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15808671871898894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20924484858089049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394445138357145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430720697089206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619926319660024,0.4558728797930394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12154148837270218,0.0,0.0,0.14248830385013905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14609061995555642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593168805359156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258473438881475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14792617339443231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18238729834346093,0.0,0.22597419860176315,0.16597721949166466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09662672174668774,0.0,0.0,0.14816134113185392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394470437900599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13719251426267032,0.0,0.10361149556330318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,angelluxie,2019/02/16,Do you lonely? Why? That's all.,-4.787619047619046,-9.161556428571428,-1.1942857142857142,107.78095238095241,184.7142857142857,0.9333333333333336,2.333333333333333,3.1291,-3.287723809523808,23,0,6,0,3,8,7,7,0.364,0.636,0.0,-0.4329,0,2,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hestolemynickel,2019/02/16,"Too much stuff Im going through this episode where i keep thinking i have too much stuff. Doc said its a manic thing, but I'm really anxious about it. I feel claustrophobic in my own home. I have this feeling that i need to get rid of every physical object i own because I'm so uncomfortable. This feeling comes and goes every few weeks, and i dont have much in the way of possessions. Im ways trying to justify giving away or throwing away my belongings. Any ideas on how to cope?",3.132603092783505,4.854092814432988,4.466585051546391,84.63534149484539,74.4639175257732,7.73659793814433,26.55798969072165,8.472884824447931,1.824877319587628,381,14,77,7,8,126,67,97,0.08,0.845,0.075,-0.3641,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,13,17,6,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,9,3,0,1,5,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,4,9,0,12,16,6,12,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,1,1,51,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945805866132932,0.0,0.0,0.18183855114703368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3024537160627853,0.0,0.0,0.09811948815641136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13865245715074806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18864347160252248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712308378195864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24415805497215803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409475618192891,0.15440713080616789,0.09147705928994053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614556190482549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18170381479212036,0.3477280129428857,0.0,0.0,0.14306830266330428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3549715148136197,0.11934951601479064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311485184307084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531094545341639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3685205029496198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069344169419314,0.1031364228953585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092810138378347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555245028171336,0.12911209530499787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nopentrance,2019/02/16,"Brother committed, diagnosed, home. Still manic? My brother 26 was committed for a manic episode, diagnosed bipolar and was released today. Immedietly drank with his buddies, took the brand new truck he bought during this manic episode and blew up at my dad for making payments on his over drawn accounts. He was committed for 20 days, but just started the bipolar medication about 10 days ago. He looks and sounds so much better, but he's still talking about how intelligent he is and that he has all of his finances in order and knows what he's doing. I'm afraid he hasn't actually accepted the diagnosis or realised just how much of a mess there is to clean up. He started his own company this year, and I'm scared to death all of his financial issues will get so much worse. He doesn't seem to care, says he feels amazing and is planning on furthering his business. I guess my question is how do I approach him about this without seeming overbearing or telling him what to do? Should I wait and see if the meds just havent kicked in yet? What do you wish your family and friends did differently?",6.474278846153848,7.1980151778846135,6.4778846153846175,77.11711538461539,65.49038461538461,9.66923076923077,35.230769230769226,9.661875296680813,3.344815384615384,879,40,161,17,13,279,126,208,0.09699999999999999,0.773,0.13,0.7682,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,2,0,2,15,8,0,2,6,0,18,6,0,4,5,38,37,19,1,3,9,3,1,0,1,2,5,2,2,0,7,10,1,1,6,0,3,2,4,3,0,0,7,5,16,5,23,28,6,23,0,0,2,0,29,9,0,7,11,102,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.14728439208354402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13378896131152526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13348394584980147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15388161004964926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946727239736804,0.0,0.0,0.30637839233588304,0.0,0.1576881030991336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422819070624906,0.0,0.07631395743746905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11660694336354208,0.0,0.07885388394882828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662646996316316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513935377822424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575300856935315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294632707072565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12674188275055126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10074591001029516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676474796670725,0.15204453136022034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.332849322658098,0.0,0.0,0.14576763411417978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690744016658222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12002435847267193,0.15110570461630113,0.0,0.12027043108024328,0.2747991784159311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136558624993528,0.0,0.24106330465737785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131056822026973,0.13191811467233308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14306251967195194,0.0,0.1676870574275133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17356026491689286,0.14548963652164715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15380898115065458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971929711557051
bipolarreddit,praxios,2019/10/29,"I HAVE AN INTERVIEW I finally landed an interview for a job I actually have a reason to be excited about. A medical dispensary as a patient care specialist. 

I know it's only an interview but I'm hoping they take into account my enthusiasm for the job. Marijuana has changed my day to day life drastically and has made my bipolar bearable to live with. Despite not having the money or options to be on proper medication, marijuana has always been there to keep me stable enough to function semi-normally.

Finding and keeping jobs has always been astronomically difficult for me. I even landed a job recently (after being unemployed for 6 months) and I quit after my first day because it felt like I was stuck in high school again. I've been at such a loss for what I wanted to do, I even gave up. I convinced myself that nobody would ever want to hire or deal with an employee like me. So here's to actually keeping my hopes up about something for once, and here's to (fingers crossed) hearing that I got the job after my interview this Thursday!!! 

(PS thank you to all those who continually post encouragement in this sub, it has helped me come to terms with my diagnosis, and see hope that one day I'll be stable again)",5.553275862068966,6.793242086206899,7.0529310344827625,70.3226724137931,67.79310344827587,10.110344827586207,33.03448275862069,10.270032843473604,3.656425862068968,972,43,169,25,16,334,137,232,0.036000000000000004,0.7829999999999999,0.18100000000000002,0.9874,8,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,1,3,12,12,0,0,13,0,18,5,1,2,2,31,39,10,0,6,4,0,2,2,0,1,4,1,0,0,11,10,0,3,4,0,2,2,1,2,0,2,9,4,25,10,34,25,3,30,0,1,1,0,12,10,0,6,19,124,36,12,0.0,0.0,0.2069928480942545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17649599520404258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06465141963058675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081322748558406,0.0,0.11219434194073738,0.09135879485811634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735922049277412,0.1093402061416132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10958532812740976,0.0,0.140099419625466,0.09593471268586368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10183144144867903,0.11618036157482205,0.09693426180187742,0.09021210929972116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482354593479395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953405203524785,0.0,0.07108783398681988,0.1120551419081173,0.0,0.31601587167288314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5262265006333187,0.2828052524054068,0.0,0.0,0.058286204792114486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491126141059877,0.1036282771771864,0.0,0.09365035635483157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035378594251312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136827272611228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465375995145175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11294734293279465,0.07186703113392917,0.08066119849701925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015733784007184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280477344771188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10904435559726693,0.10471858471553112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733544044005393,0.08451377202515138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816479318289279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974173512103022,0.0,0.0,0.09764312220205497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251104428320764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753399160852031,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Jonqora,2019/10/29,"Where do you feel most misunderstood? What is hardest to explain to others who don't have bipolar? I have bipolar I, with mania and delusional psychosis during an episode earlier this year. I'm currently writing a memoir about the experience of delusions and hospitalizations etc. I'm hoping that the book will be valuable to people with bipolar, and also valuable to our loved ones who try their best to understand what we go through.

I want to hear from all of you. What are the hardest parts of this illness to explain? What parts make sense barely to you, let alone when you try to explain to others? What aspects of your experience are hardest to get into words, and even when you do write about them the words never quite capture it? All efforts are appreciated, I know that in asking to write about the stuff that is by definition hardest to write about. Thank you.",5.842916666666667,7.7044981250000015,5.76125,77.50541666666669,67.75,7.833333333333335,32.708333333333336,8.344100000000001,2.644583333333334,700,31,119,10,12,219,92,160,0.045,0.812,0.14400000000000002,0.9541,1,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,2,7,2,3,9,6,0,0,7,0,13,5,0,1,3,27,30,7,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,16,8,0,0,6,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,15,6,28,27,7,9,0,0,0,1,23,3,0,2,5,97,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19532401012900272,0.0,0.15081662572012608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17630767787741985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979152376537392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103294738557516,0.12456296599478578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3689575241869801,0.0,0.0,0.09535757402577018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09853132150866556,0.0,0.10718094621815752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21255642740976852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18731400116781413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10364500530972316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19284767739376169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17021127232993954,0.0,0.125886350206279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14545345986783148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12779454160786008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.408452625902074,0.0,0.13074566203240184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20059036927605847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158922494531647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736297972253478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560826191339257,0.0,0.0,0.19633049536186284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123620552994626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214468002050461
bipolarreddit,FlechsFarkash,2019/10/29,"I feel so lost, and it's ally fault. I fucked up. For a few years now I'm trying to get my degree at the top uni in my country. It's been a few very tough years, and because of my mental state, I was unable to actually apply myself to my studies. I was given a last chance last semester, and even though I did so much better, I still didn't get the minimum requirements they demanded of me. I made an appointment for this Thursday, and I am terrified. I tried so hard this semester, and I thought for a second I can actually conquer my illness, my self hatred and this semester. I don't know what I'm going to do if this meeting doesn't go good, and there is a possibility it won't go well. I feel like the anxiety is eating me from the inside. I don't know what's going to happen; so on one hand, I want to get it over with already, and on the other hand, I don't want it to ever happen. 

I want this stone in my chest to disappear. I want to rehabilitate myself, I want to succeed, I want to make it happen.",4.631947040498448,3.943852864485984,6.693971962616825,78.83323208722744,69.42056074766356,9.750155763239873,29.048286604361373,9.2995712137729,2.2295370716510905,779,24,170,14,12,278,108,214,0.159,0.713,0.129,-0.8553,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,1,6,11,9,1,0,11,0,15,6,3,2,1,25,43,14,0,7,1,0,5,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,14,9,1,1,5,0,0,5,6,4,1,2,9,5,32,5,25,33,3,22,0,1,0,1,3,8,1,1,9,122,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.255427461398826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444222446610147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10011792684607773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977931674504732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157470419763596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339163401000222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08644076215156664,0.11838264146313796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323472239101476,0.09349610830516036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099051144576667,0.20512812437446204,0.0,0.2975138751789657,0.10977054566120267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34719321111892193,0.0,0.11723701723002936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14384938863049665,0.21335886257696626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06393821818532032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428639672794137,0.0,0.0,0.1238357412879562,0.08735912772633637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13188978205405313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620713631200822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868332162109832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475402919732779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13652968144724578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451580624734344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128582623197266,0.10389900002471128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17770913364918198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10798440576712272,0.4631557529832438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11767106143023726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16855658319877626
bipolarreddit,SomeDayBeOkay,2019/10/29,All things considered.. I've been helping a lot of you through rough times. My first time posting a very serious situation and a fear for my life and no ones there for me. Ima bit disappointed in this forum. I came to help and be helped. It's a cycle we all should practice..,1.085789473684212,3.2631308245614083,3.0202631578947354,90.32934210526315,82.85964912280701,6.60701754385965,23.535087719298247,7.793537801064563,1.137961403508771,215,8,48,4,6,72,46,57,0.177,0.737,0.086,-0.6361,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,1,0,1,1,3,0,1,4,0,3,1,0,0,2,9,4,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,2,2,1,6,0,6,0,4,6,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,1,3,32,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.283048750521228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29652854007995505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917436790509097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205295231168144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5213368665320338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831255790735561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22041667874847448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17568375495057448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483029038335921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914231985442291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17224324479785916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30235743148493777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21391965856138212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Downtherabbithole95,2019/10/29,"So apparently hypersexuality really is a thing? I’ve been diagnosed since 19 & I’m 24 now. I have a very hard time staying faithful in relationships, even when I try hence why I’m now single. I find that even when I’m not manic, even if I’m just depressed the sexual desires are hard to push away. 

It makes having a relationship super hard and currently I love someone a lot and am trying to make things work but it’s really hard to deal with given my struggles with monogamy.

How do you guys deal with this?",3.0304901960784316,5.0503120490196105,4.910392156862745,80.04343137254905,75.56862745098039,8.062745098039215,24.07843137254902,8.841846274778883,1.7835607843137256,407,13,81,9,9,139,73,102,0.121,0.807,0.07200000000000001,-0.4289,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,2,11,5,0,1,5,0,7,2,0,3,0,15,15,8,0,2,4,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,4,6,3,8,13,2,10,1,1,0,1,7,2,0,2,6,49,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600335733363586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13876960600824284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3045457326776061,0.12721433813078226,0.14991303266188566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2926646238138012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13499570205575298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14624684738979296,0.0,0.0,0.52924302054806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556979571604926,0.13330558722511335,0.0,0.19718263788481785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18924161422292954,0.0,0.0,0.3171504072401597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217948929506525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251462664004429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15742922178617128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15440877007519888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19625147412204466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08612542644315603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20055806794993555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12186849006945065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332768472436825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075278193854886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,robertdoleson,2019/10/29,"Bipolar + weed? I used to smoke often, and I'm not entirely sure how it affected me at the time. 
I stopped for a while, and any time I tried again i got extremely anxious, paranoid, and too far into my own head. 
But i have started to again more recently (at night, a few hits here and there) and I'm not sure how its affecting me when im not high. 

I've been feeling extremely groggy and unmotivated this past week, and im not sure if it's related or not. I'm not smoking during the day at all, but have been pretty out of it regardless. 

Any thoughts/experiences? Please share with me if you can! 

TIA",1.9068475073313813,3.6713773387096817,3.8418475073313796,87.59640762463344,78.03225806451613,7.734897360703813,25.788856304985337,8.575989854853784,1.7368161290322583,466,18,103,10,11,158,80,124,0.10099999999999999,0.759,0.14,0.8971,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,0,9,4,0,0,4,0,5,2,1,5,4,34,13,16,0,3,11,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,10,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,1,10,4,10,9,4,20,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,4,13,66,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24980618602424906,0.0,0.0,0.20749680512223406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845308836509927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17966622201918925,0.0,0.0,0.09286995896819214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14689908266514964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885002118028744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19405929536203825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3967940311997402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17236350151175844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17533547477943254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20161643339755386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18686020787685484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18135370153624136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13000381483221546,0.0,0.0,0.15355781298034954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5193253714173727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21420095690452784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247010663516236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15863342585625032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14733040441331893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mercurialmuriel,2019/10/29,"What do you do during a mixed episode?? Mixed episodes are the most terrifying for me. They're when I feel actively ""insane"". 
I know how to cope with depression and hypomania, respectively. But mixed states make me feel like a trapdoor has opened beneath my feet.

I saw my pdoc a week ago and had nothing but good news for him as I'd been uncharacteristically stable for a couple weeks. No med adjustments. Don't see him for 6 weeks. He also told me he's retiring in the Spring which means I'll end up going a few months without a psychiatrist because the waits are so long. He's also one of the best I've ever had.

My therapist of 5 years retired on Friday. My case is being passed on to another clinician who is sweet but pretty fresh out of grad school and I'm not really looking forward to working from the ground up again. My therapist was the absolute greatest I've ever had.

The mixed state hit me like an anvil that night so I'm thinking saying goodbye to that stable force triggered this instability. 

I take my meds. I don't know what else I can do to ride this out. I'm laughing, crying, laughing, putting stress on interpersonal relationships. 

I don't know what tangible steps I can take to feel more stable. No substance use. No sleep disturbance. 

Woke up this morning trembling with a feeling of impending doom, you know the feeling, it's super fun. I am on LTD so at least I don't have to worry about work. I just feel so terrified and alone. 

What do you do to help yourself while in a mixed state?",2.752130708294501,5.117811638513516,4.057581547064306,84.15135135135141,77.88513513513513,7.055731593662628,25.40959925442684,8.104835398774808,1.6454444547996283,1199,45,235,22,29,393,173,296,0.131,0.667,0.20199999999999999,0.9756,0,1,0,0,1,0,33.0,0,3,0,4,13,15,0,3,17,0,24,2,2,4,2,37,51,17,0,0,6,0,6,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,12,9,0,1,13,0,0,6,9,5,0,1,8,11,26,10,35,41,6,39,1,2,3,0,13,16,0,1,18,145,38,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514861837434422,0.0,0.0,0.12285354769386556,0.0,0.18971920050892085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243824018579931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230906337962571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12448336009678325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13124970719312365,0.13029744115420924,0.0,0.0,0.10216640191538982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09909098373783,0.0,0.1050612579242194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145954183077648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3598640923092567,0.08474146303848719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741393175057933,0.09949201957692566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795078394665503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607596801773493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590253864714073,0.0,0.0,0.10497411416001397,0.09961011529458348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917912763955356,0.0,0.0,0.1292109045947849,0.2635180165557513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468058286468274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131592983693553,0.0,0.1138181642404545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037932869629172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067820395210625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192448940041548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07599039189254192,0.0,0.0,0.1273524527573961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09433061846770828,0.0,0.12004879722684385,0.09452401405470033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11870470127563534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358777049963897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17837350554139936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27545168677618137,0.0,0.07600628865898804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133455722303693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244876175947516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2854471071313472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434451779930875,0.0,0.17271214194628645,0.12046338898987208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638677012316042
bipolarreddit,Sayrahsarah,2019/10/29,"My sister was diagnosed with Bipolar but doesn’t accept the diagnosis. I want to be as supportive as possible. My sister and I have been very close for as long as I can remember. Our father is Bipolar (type 2) and since we were raised around it, we’ve come to understand him pretty well. I personally feel as an adult, my dad and I have gotten much closer as I’ve come to understand him more and more. Well, my sister who has always been very similar to my dad was diagnosed with bipolar (unaware of the type) earlier this year. Unfortunately, she has been reluctant on accepting this and refuses to share this information with the family. I am the only person she has shared it with. I  moved out of state last year so most of our encounters have been daily or every other day phone calls. Based on these phone calls, i couldn’t say i could sense all same behaviors I’ve picked up from growing up around my dad so like when, i was unsure of the validity of the diagnosis. She has had a lot going on over the last year so I know she had been suffering from depression and intense lows. However, i visited home last week for a little over a week and saw similar patterns of that of my father. He happened to also visit with us and had noticed it as well. I don’t understand bipolar to it’s full extent but have learned about it from personal experience as well as in nursing school. Currently she’s been back and forth between  intense joy and anger. I listen to her and let her talk but if i don’t say something for too long she becomes upset,  but when i do say something, it’s taken wrong  and she ends up hanging up and asking me to “stay out of her life”. Then the next day she’s overly loving and stating how close we are and how important I am to her. 
I want to be as supportive as possible through this period and guide her as best as possible. My dad, who has been very helpful and understanding has been there as well but i want to make sure I’m there in the event that my dad needs to take time for himself. 
She had been prescribed gabapentin for about a month but she stopped taking it. 

TL;DR
 My sister was diagnosed with Bipolar but refuses to accept it. My family is unaware but notice the changes. And my father (who has bipolar type 2) and I are trying to be as supportive as possible. While my dad has been very supportive, when he needs his space, I want to be there for her but seemingly can’t find a way to be supportive without upsetting her. 
Any advice is appreciated.",4.905778025655327,5.8301305092024585,5.9224242424242455,78.99454545454547,69.06134969325153,9.690053913366796,29.74660717605503,9.873865916822265,2.7978965235173825,1965,73,383,46,33,652,208,489,0.068,0.753,0.179,0.9952,2,0,2,0,0,0,44.0,5,0,0,1,23,27,1,2,16,0,52,11,0,4,2,81,84,57,0,9,12,13,1,1,0,0,10,4,1,4,19,35,0,3,14,0,0,8,6,7,5,0,22,6,61,20,77,54,10,61,0,3,1,1,67,23,0,5,27,285,80,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06762946846698678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05534578596730525,0.05758678052870106,0.0,0.0,0.04706396067197455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12321997188446568,0.06470034028147675,0.0,0.0,0.05321684674764185,0.0,0.0,0.07643503803744113,0.0,0.0,0.07262975371945649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14133865458191808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321311668782046,0.1192335013104131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055257129587535564,0.0,0.0,0.08926714876064436,0.0,0.05960893571436875,0.2107346496784416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612979379939595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058310907576317024,0.0,0.0,0.06769891604183538,0.13048669484290673,0.0,0.0349937538861636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06325505633873453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03933262450899529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612005975488181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04638880887157906,0.0,0.06942148433919695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038035025999700885,0.1692418013585026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07077009067378133,0.04888381025295351,0.03381163888433288,0.06936481488024364,0.0,0.12249418801729373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058838351010476374,0.06246311772733425,0.0,0.04619702212176058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055241338361448976,0.07355738174182529,0.05087600254434763,0.10263403163980593,0.0,0.0,0.07360372371235997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15758802706182196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05263596751484192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812898362619987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3120874628461163,0.0,0.0704096372843193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839941829399721,0.0,0.0,0.16511145543115938,0.0,0.07004241024763233,0.0,0.0630045612919925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057249752111406635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10655973299380844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376675065799268,0.0,0.05786116818003902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3926833213265997,0.06522792528437288,0.0,0.10407193192307404,0.055626943099749256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04035586777132662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046987836257636924,0.0,0.0,0.2881927777728455,0.08324896342228534,0.0,0.0,0.22841610770914444,0.1632831975567537,0.05493426111512115,0.111029313876502,0.0,0.3111324923603201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06671425129010802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756683205782445,0.0,0.13370346760779414
bipolarreddit,ApprehensiveBaker6,2019/10/29,"Dealing with mania and hyper sexuality for the last year ive been struggling with waking and feeling i am manic but not too a level that i'm a danger to myself, from there i will spend 90% of the day thinking about sex/sexting/porn etc.. from waking up during work and eventually to once i get home from there despite my efforts not to i will end up sexting as porn nolonger gives me enough of a rush. Despite being straight ive turned to sending pictures to men as the vast majority of women posting  for sexting are sellers, as such ive turned to the massive pool of gay or bi men who swamp me with messages giving me a rush despite not finding them attractive, i will end up doing this for upwards of 5 hours where either the mania rarely passes or i become bored of this too and am left with a feeling of nausea and disgust at myself and vow ill never do this again only to repeat the cycle again the next day 

i honestly hate this part of myself and am unsure what to do sorry for my grammar im curently on a rush and am struggling with reading what ive wrote and am trying to not repeat my cycle now im home",11.120275330396476,6.080120647577092,10.863034140969166,67.71895649779738,60.58590308370046,12.231057268722465,42.47191629955947,7.645422480735847,3.718198678414096,885,32,167,5,8,296,121,227,0.153,0.804,0.043,-0.9797,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,2,10,8,3,2,13,0,18,6,2,0,1,28,29,15,0,0,8,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,2,3,8,14,0,0,4,2,2,5,5,6,0,0,2,2,21,2,38,23,5,30,0,0,0,3,11,10,0,2,14,124,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621501000254399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18937227575439936,0.15136398841451734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600761910317876,0.15170332051135102,0.16374204484442326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14847224096696515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341899471210627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670689118975807,0.2816844121897017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14495341072641074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945429457103504,0.0,0.14458718471065315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3171795253765478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196771172112816,0.0,0.0,0.15951932179179493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323589847797118,0.0,0.15614371979978364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563574910860125,0.0,0.11166249951084806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15899071813669866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061206041222574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468587761461328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16435190043213252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30697428697192003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09407571563225707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968049398265058,0.3193939212445425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10688601324079697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454665121743508
bipolarreddit,soooooooozie,2019/10/29,"Husband’s first manic episode This is a long one.

We met in 2013. Now that I’ve experienced the hypomania, mania, and depression, I can truly say he was not manic or experiencing hypomania at the time. It was an instant attraction. From the day we hooked up, we were only apart one day (one that I enforced as I saw us going down an unhealthy road). He was intense, yes, but having seen the mania, again, it’s not that.

Just over one year in, he started experiencing psychosis. Of course, we didn’t know what it was at the time. I thought maybe it was related to drugs. He thought that his friend and I had put him to sleep in the living room and had sex in front of him. He would say “you know what you did” with a dark look in his eyes. The first time, when he snapped out of it, he looked so confused and innocent that I wanted to protect him from everything in the world, truly.

I won’t go into all of it, but he was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 with psychotic features. He was put on meds that turned him into a zombie. My biggest regret is not having done research on the subject and letting him suffer for two years.

Between then and now there have been 3 hospitalizations, 2 for psychosis and 1 for suicidal ideation. We have been married 3 years and have a 2 year old daughter. During the last psychotic episode, he again thought I was cheating. He took our daughter to a motel and called and said she was “too good for this world.”

Most recently, he was on amazing meds. My dream of having him back was near, I could feel it. But then there was a mixup with his mood stabilizer and he just never got them. Then he went off his meds completely.

I tell you, our first years of being together we did not fight at all. After he went off his meds, he was mean. He was even less affectionate than he was after the diagnosis. He started forgetting to put my daughter’s creams on her, was on his phone constantly, kept saying he was going to “dominate” everything. For some background, after the depression, he quit his job and became a homemaker. Except he didn’t cook or clean and he just followed my daughter around, not trying to teach her anything. It wasn’t until the mania started that he started cooking - but obsessively. When there were other things to be done, he would still pick cooking. I was suspicious but still supportive and encouraged him, getting him a new chopping block and letting him buy whatever he wanted. I did track his spending as I feared for mania, but he got anything he wanted.

The fighting got worse, of course. There was plenty of gaslighting, where I would end up being pushed to say something I now totally regret. He even mentioned that he knew how to push my buttons. At his meanest, he would tell me I would never divorce him, insinuating I was needy or loved him more than he loved me.

He started being slightly delusional. He would say that he knew the secret to life and that’s why he could win any argument. He would call me dumb once in a while - he never used to do that (and I most certainly am not). He put his hands on me once - and never apologized, never seemed remorseful. 

He started leaving for a few hours late at night here and there going to bars in cities an hour away. He didn’t cheat during those times, I’m pretty certain (but do I even know him?) even though he couldn’t drink (chronic pancreatitis). Then finally one day he blew up and left for three days. There was a lot of begging on my end to get him home, just to keep him safe. He eventually did and slept for a few hours during the day. He had not showered, even though he stayed at an Airbnb. When he got up, he told me he had drained his 401k, bought an apartment and started an LLC to use it as a rental. Because he isn’t dumb, it wasn’t a poorly thought out plan. I told him we needed to set some boundaries but I could get on board. He had also seen a divorce attorney during that time, but told me of course he wasn’t going to divorce me - he put me as the registered agent on his LLC, come on! (I have since been removed). 

Of course, nothing lasted. A few days later he left in the morning, met us for a family photo shoot during which we made some future plans and he looked into my eyes and crap like that. We went to dinner, where he didn’t try to make conversation. He shoveled food down his throat, stood up, and said “thanks for paying.” That’s the last thing he said to me as he left me and the baby in the restaurant.

He blocked me and his whole family from texts and emails, save for an email to his family where he said our marriage had become unbearable and that I was the reason for his mental illness. Luckily, his family knows better. Still, the words found a line I didn’t know I had for him. I used to be the one he looked to for reality.

He’s holed up at an extended stay hotel. He’s going to be missing his brother’s wedding (also my birthday) this week, where he was to be the best man. Our baby asked for him so many times it was heartbreaking. I tried everything from sending angry emails to sending ones that said I would always be here to support him - unsure if he ever got them. I was also cruel though - in his email to his parents he said I had been spreading lies to his friends. In reality, we were all looking for him. I spread no lies. But when I heard that, I sent videos to the potential non-believers of his psychosis and screen shots of him hitting up my friends for psychedelic drugs (no idea why, we don’t even know what those are. I used to bartend, so I think his suburban mind was like - oh they would know). I regret doing this...so much. I slipped, but it’s so mean.

I sent him the video too. I have so many I’ve forgotten about because it became a norm for me - I’m seeing s therapist to get over it. But when he saw the videos while manic, they had no effect on him.

I guess I’m looking for answers. Will he ever remember that I was his rock? I’ve heard they often come back - is that true? I’m no fool, but this is our first experience with actual mania. I told my girlfriends he gets one “leave home” pass.  I try to hate him but I will never be able to because of his illness. I also want to know if the beginning was real. He didn’t have a ton of energy, and he was calm most of the time. 

Do they always crash? When he crashes, will he be okay enough to contact us for help? During the mania, does he truly believe I’m the cause?

I realize he may never understand that the fighting had to do with the meds. He hates lying, and I know him so well that I know the moment he stops taking meds. Those were most of the fights - he would yell at me for asking the same questions again, but that was because he hated lying - I know this now because I found out some of the lies he was telling.

I’m trying not to pine so I can take care of our child, but I honestly loved him so much that It’s breaking me.

Any hope/experience will be appreciated.",3.1535560014162627,4.772043442503642,4.155034816475865,87.3202909241119,74.18195050946144,7.047421220346985,24.896573429324516,7.730073105063049,1.1953053306581691,5366,172,1108,72,111,1737,479,1374,0.124,0.767,0.109,-0.9758,5,0,4,1,9,0,185.0,20,3,6,11,66,55,13,3,66,2,121,26,7,11,16,197,244,87,1,24,34,7,2,2,4,16,8,14,5,2,53,58,7,7,33,12,5,27,32,25,1,14,106,34,158,29,157,104,25,186,0,8,15,4,231,67,3,20,90,734,211,5,0.03602851979866078,0.0,0.03515863814703058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152479770649734,0.0599572293140617,0.0,0.0,0.04900125786735327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059296803930921835,0.0320730211105786,0.06736360503815485,0.0,0.03384998033718965,0.05540741563472868,0.0,0.10981325632316484,0.03979066950057936,0.0,0.08118360833967775,0.0378097087456636,0.031864297935309566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357829388886802,0.0,0.03673347710970773,0.03701121434576004,0.0,0.06207075924676776,0.03777521753762158,0.03893403053620452,0.0,0.08629752417567793,0.0,0.0,0.13941248823035576,0.0,0.062062622618958625,0.03656818920125689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031528800467718505,0.07373936917785222,0.0,0.03529423320194724,0.08356328933688514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06382114942076382,0.03722709198243218,0.0,0.14277898520371562,0.0651797176591484,0.0,0.0,0.09714033138800647,0.0704856113880289,0.13585792804011473,0.04054210129823184,0.01821710214609799,0.0,0.0,0.03946748237929795,0.0,0.12258336214225198,0.043565829151746185,0.07900682467323407,0.08350663507151332,0.0,0.09411707286241884,0.0,0.12285502847486104,0.03021901304557272,0.1440764927545449,0.0,0.03968947644946279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067121128810546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024149157372439254,0.0,0.07227908588800666,0.0357844495052508,0.10644250382709958,0.0,0.0,0.04067181344618577,0.0,0.0,0.035752746608366616,0.03202380380753949,0.0,0.0,0.21780365479566632,0.08810415689516843,0.040641739624752315,0.07629800071839367,0.1174352765378134,0.07368320500205874,0.02544800902370852,0.035203429805592545,0.0,0.031813843055299086,0.03188410627041495,0.18152929569777068,0.0,0.0,0.03063015914076104,0.0975514372968582,0.034091056566657466,0.024049316731647275,0.07305452835210778,0.036195490699953314,0.07849124036649115,0.2401173806875425,0.0,0.03630827395875685,0.0,0.03637853442016042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052970215093270163,0.02671469091499024,0.1945119088956368,0.034796568929463714,0.0,0.033810325192178164,0.0,0.034570336441367415,0.0,0.03780587087932394,0.0767383954837795,0.1953108595279496,0.027401312814162145,0.0,0.0,0.040005407548555263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03665395712191121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18109306770797576,0.04036018768860786,0.03832076564403725,0.0,0.041008343177666884,0.0,0.037043318894522254,0.03557381678816294,0.0,0.040813289591692524,0.0,0.20562823665926105,0.1432566251139669,0.0,0.0,0.02871006565134953,0.03279901128812989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029803163885902862,0.0,0.03605453916477912,0.0,0.0,0.027736514735229416,0.0,0.0,0.17850820225886074,0.07680321671655431,0.0863172673534404,0.03012145580200524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03940935299434595,0.08176947462048849,0.0,0.0,0.054177926167961764,0.0,0.09447154297596314,0.03317022044631337,0.0,0.041831888384166065,0.04787149528824847,0.023085620719113544,0.1061935133261932,0.11441048118168975,0.14705963739796268,0.0,0.0,0.13770717854366726,0.04002901115747616,0.122304999845694,0.03918868369104229,0.035194628694611686,0.0375069597244002,0.13001361972945016,0.12446829328732845,0.0,0.0,0.0850022177760416,0.0,0.02889990537567268,0.0,0.03239396615027967,0.10019639642295773,0.06502027048103466,0.040224555702586734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03671613967739296,0.2559362675623602,0.0,0.0,0.11600592754457975
bipolarreddit,Less_Money,2019/10/29,"Feeling at home. Does anyone here ever feel a lack of being at home in a long time, kind of tide into depression? I just never really feel like I'm at home anymore, and I'm beginning to wonder if maybe that feeling doesn't exist on this planet anymore. Somehow no matter where I am it feels like I'm alone.

If you can't tell I'm a few days into being exceptionally depressed and was too scared to post this on the larger bipolar subreddit. Just wondering if anyone has felt the same.",5.347663230240549,5.7066079072164975,6.651082474226808,76.1722250859107,67.8659793814433,8.940893470790376,28.537800687285234,8.841846274778883,2.236004810996564,385,12,71,6,6,131,65,97,0.212,0.747,0.040999999999999995,-0.9533,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,7,6,0,1,5,0,7,1,0,0,2,24,20,5,0,4,6,0,6,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,4,4,0,0,8,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,6,3,3,13,16,3,16,0,2,0,0,2,9,0,6,8,49,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15811768722027714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30281065577281524,0.21349760053568306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845803175284104,0.0,0.2629849196171869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336005264801103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380966682193175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3859668622903297,0.2181316599940118,0.1465849262516763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4594144298968426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15897990855835495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491714459847037,0.0,0.0,0.13510610365391634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15337521700741136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11774673608891842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462134481274797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780283306878568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15284699324553175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334382923099131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902175919378047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3311232002076145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CaptainGenie,2019/01/05,"Diagnosed w clinical depression, doc and brothers think I’m hypomanic..might present myself to a psych ward to get proper diagnosis/meds etc...also want to be taken this post is trash, I’m sleeping. I might have bipolar 2...It is 6.08am and I haven’t slept yet. I’m crying and sighing...I just want to escape. Nothing works to  fill this void. Drugs, sex, religion....

Bipolar and extreme feelings of loneliness, someone cancel the I’m half asleep ",1.8275046904315209,4.605454658536587,3.27487804878049,82.81805816135086,93.8780487804878,5.937711069418388,27.039399624765487,7.321109707123232,2.1675729831144466,350,17,59,7,13,114,60,82,0.151,0.7929999999999999,0.055999999999999994,-0.8519,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,6,9,3,0,0,10,17,4,0,2,1,1,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,1,3,0,6,13,0,4,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,26,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19323849035335314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26542891555523224,0.0,0.0,0.20812317591477028,0.2452583327244991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802243352404628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694911771870831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217985623609498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12624631886532495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5126812395968717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318589807844066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314232103501335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418133453105179,0.0,0.20473980213110687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15483240956556124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.285049692984527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17591595097316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Solicitedcrab2,2019/01/05,"Bipolar rage I’ve been in full on rage for like 2 days and it’s draining me so badly. I can’t tell if it’s depression or mania or what but I literally feel it all through my body. Nothing seems to calm me down but sleep, and dealing with my trauma has got me so raw and vulnerable that it has to contribute, but I can’t get through work without feeling like I’m gonna bug out. How do you guys deal with this?",2.9744194756554343,3.411650955056181,4.5141011235955055,89.11849250936329,73.15730337078651,7.731086142322098,28.316479400749067,7.793537801064563,1.431200749063671,321,12,76,4,6,108,64,89,0.214,0.732,0.054000000000000006,-0.9168,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,3,8,2,0,0,0,6,3,2,1,1,18,13,12,0,1,7,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,7,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,2,9,3,12,10,2,6,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,4,3,48,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043481317550575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27185157202266497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15783740425825726,0.5046335095113694,0.21079467227032728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474963457589208,0.17484269382119802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12786683315581088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19574137083130613,0.0,0.0,0.24233161701008335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391357353433694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348351530412741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22280259981021452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449172930947216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21391402318220232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23592115121539886,0.0,0.1781740311693876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HoldMyWater,2019/01/05,"What do you do when you feel the mania coming on? Woke up after only a couple hours of sleep. Fully energized. Thoughts racing. Hyper-motivated. All too familiar. It's the beginning of a manic episode.

Besides taking your medication, what do you do when you feel a manic episode starting? Anything you feel minimizes its duration or severity?",3.4123333333333328,6.612423566666671,5.103333333333339,70.34833333333333,88.33333333333334,8.0,30.0,8.515128840125781,3.775,274,14,38,8,9,92,43,60,0.0,0.929,0.071,0.6289,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,6,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,0,4,2,1,0,1,7,13,3,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,6,1,5,11,1,9,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,6,29,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428561513518345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542171702831938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3265413552850774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4476600783885612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906308053276832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972993369006341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2244497824802636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333982164537884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953301372034377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088853366764673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22189126167243145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23428993885121785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HollyhoodGio,2019/01/05,How often do other Cyclothymics switch between the phases? I want to know how long each state usually lasts for you or what time or thing typically triggers you to switch. For me I can’t even tell yet I was only recently diagnosed and I am learning myself.,3.2712244897959195,5.899459387755108,4.366693877551022,81.21044897959185,77.57142857142857,7.185306122448982,26.126530612244892,8.238735603445708,2.0582538775510204,206,8,36,4,5,67,40,49,0.0,0.971,0.028999999999999998,0.0772,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,3,0,11,6,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,8,0,5,5,1,7,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,6,30,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3616713012800749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353551110131785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958317348645381,0.2904596022614852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31534419551124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27100790820508514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3518366342523639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31145144298329763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23673233995585294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20778110149536752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3924513328660964,0.0,0.21017490465248828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Vibron83,2019/01/05,"I slept through the daylight. I woke up at midnight last night and couldn't sleep till ~8.
Once I fell asleep, I stayed asleep until around 20 minutes ago (EST). I completely slept through the sunlight. I'm struggling to get on a regular schedule, I guess I'm depressed. I really have no clue how to get out of this funk, I take my medicine, I have sleep medication, and I have morning classes starting in three days.

I'm losing my mind here. Please give suggestions. ",2.495056179775279,5.186975415730341,2.7304382022471927,91.33857865168541,81.35955056179776,5.807191011235956,28.00112359550561,7.1686216300943375,1.5321811235955058,368,17,72,5,10,112,64,89,0.136,0.8370000000000001,0.027999999999999997,-0.835,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,3,0,4,7,6,1,0,8,16,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,3,0,12,0,13,12,0,16,0,2,0,0,2,6,0,1,8,39,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18923672511646167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900420443880678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238292284129666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376766378673824,0.0,0.18386960869585608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22306848958105086,0.2047890202271443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351717731592235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17401431188036107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23882899113640554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21505817000461808,0.0,0.0,0.21555347184829815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20033607993441105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22734873510227985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343364201989583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13676045510047194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4272674101214829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511019120148726,0.227540777497566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231751589490477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16051004073123168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MAX-definitely-DOG,2019/01/05,"Jumped from stairs and sprained my ankle after many weeks of depression i ""finally"" got my manic episode today, when leaving school i though it would be great idea to jump from this high and long stairs so i would be home sooner. My plan went wrong and i fell straight on the ground. Nothing hurt me (at that moment) so i went happily home, after 30 minutes i noticed my right leg is bigger than my left (was pretty funny to me), fast forward i ended in hospital with pretty bad sprained ankle and for next month i will need crutches.",3.1102941176470584,5.567279049019611,3.3115294117647056,89.48788235294118,77.13725490196079,5.648627450980393,23.925490196078428,6.742157984588678,0.8368125490196072,421,14,79,4,10,129,75,102,0.08900000000000001,0.723,0.18899999999999997,0.8923,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,1,0,7,1,1,0,0,9,11,8,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,4,0,0,4,0,15,1,13,2,0,29,0,2,0,0,0,12,0,0,13,47,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13812808234690008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424855886842379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14652287740970152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812217152093472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13231038599016992,0.18238840334266115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17478707020151504,0.3318818209002083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17709744473115552,0.18675160788210085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17516767885457984,0.1797414053062714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464013430274566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16772119899296134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13204554857098216,0.0,0.0,0.1226650857122195,0.0,0.0,0.17593788207796507,0.0,0.0,0.1587356296269598,0.18834443642045068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33660586277106097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14127727995348374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674251341244984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16253524394362212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568093665913011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269887273869727,0.0,0.0,0.3067126272553675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23503505466189986,0.18087296934811545,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Susccmmp,2019/04/15,"Does anyone take Depakote in the morning? I called my psychiatrist because I've been feeling pretty manic and can't get an actual appointment until May. He's increasing my Depakote from 1,000 mgs (2 pills at night) to 1,500 mgs (1 pill in the morning and 2 at night). Depakote has made a huge difference for me but one reason I was taking a lower than average dose is because a full dose (2,000 mgs I think?) knocked me off my feet, I couldn't get out of bed, I was disoriented, I spent 2 weeks in a haze before the doctor cut my dose in half and then I was fine. I really do think the higher dose will help the mania but it still causes some fatigue when I take it at bedtime, am I going to be exhausted all day if I take 1/3 of a dose first thing in the morning?",6.2925,5.049978210191082,7.170756369426751,78.60607085987263,66.26114649681529,10.14299363057325,31.726910828025478,9.188382445141503,2.502478343949045,597,19,124,9,8,201,100,157,0.099,0.8290000000000001,0.071,-0.7383,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,1,0,12,0,13,11,1,3,1,17,25,9,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,2,10,0,1,0,3,4,0,0,4,0,1,2,2,3,0,3,6,1,17,1,18,15,4,23,0,1,0,0,3,12,0,3,9,78,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.17331333578832406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418302022028448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165283158870404,0.0,0.15112570058392222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813508746010742,0.0,0.0,0.18244554845996225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453820293375087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855556503688588,0.0,0.18178254666168372,0.15542017183979787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980059830911097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510676502611932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855787904435225,0.0,0.10093496186392158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11904246698042635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16805072794364953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333337439658088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034729715253704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18068446087344134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377599716444757,0.18260380676384447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14183269820820066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5341365653012942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799047083230248,0.2275995969378317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246112103883568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bipolar_yogi,2019/04/15,"Does anyone experience rage regarding silly things? I’ve spoken in detail about feeling angry to my therapist and find that I have no idea how to express anger which leads me into the rages about things that piss me off. The issue for me is I don’t express my anger outwardly, I’m just boiling inside. Like raging so much I feel like I could rip through a wall and it takes me sometimes days to pass and an ungodly amount of energy to expel the feelings. Does anyone else experience this?",3.433924349881796,5.886601021276598,4.4258865248226975,81.9338888888889,76.02127659574468,7.1565011820330975,24.274231678487002,8.167268648758528,1.6708855791962178,392,13,70,7,9,127,69,94,0.261,0.649,0.09,-0.9682,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,5,9,6,0,5,0,4,2,1,2,0,13,9,5,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,4,1,0,5,0,0,2,2,6,0,0,0,3,10,3,12,8,2,8,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,3,46,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28659314041208445,0.20998196203876665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636253528068288,0.0,0.0,0.1321672770468599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35868313600314405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17119839306631107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40093501434732176,0.0,0.0,0.3108665995718196,0.14640688537981109,0.0,0.0,0.18730851543501031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313486935341755,0.0,0.2139007669290892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002435299380452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15065212268278586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20268772782205466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15408696312414388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379474113823133,0.2723017970938874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Xeragi,2019/04/15,"I cannot think or focus at work. Hello all,

Bipolar 2 here. I just switched off of Abilify to Rexulti to combat some depression issues I was having. Psych told me Rexulti would be stronger in that regard. Also on Lamictal and Effexor. I think that’s actually all I’m on, as I weened off a few others (Ritalin, Straterra, Vistaril). Anyway: I used to function really well at my old job. I worked in shipping and did well enough to be promoted to a manager position when the company grew a bit. I threw it away because the money was not worth it even though I was mostly happy. Fast forward 18 months and I’ve had this new job at an insurance broker for 11 months. I work in the billing department. It’s a great job, with great coworkers, good pay, and strong benefits. I stumbled a bit a month or so ago. Took an entire month off work to try and fix myself. Back to work with a great accommodation: working from home. However, I cannot focus well enough to get my work load done. Even if I give my SO anything I would use to distract myself, I just stare at the computer and space out. Boom. 40-50 minutes go by and it feels like a couple seconds. I’m starting to get paranoid about being fired for lack of progress. Which makes it even harder to focus. I need help. I go to therapy, consistently take my meds, but I just can’t seem to get over this hurdle and I need to. I have a family to take care of. 

Any help is appreciated. Thank you.",1.898763666947012,4.155300529616728,3.852233569626339,85.07083623693383,80.28919860627178,7.4429412471464635,24.18226600985221,8.433251757073789,1.7431180824222037,1120,41,226,25,29,379,170,287,0.049,0.7879999999999999,0.163,0.9836,4,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,1,0,10,18,15,0,1,15,0,17,2,0,3,2,35,42,18,0,6,8,0,2,1,0,2,2,1,1,0,11,11,0,0,4,0,5,7,4,2,3,1,9,4,28,13,41,28,10,34,0,1,1,0,6,17,0,6,13,151,39,16,0.0,0.0,0.08900842413017303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808527261028228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729411132183598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06202636070444216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505858235713493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569539565357309,0.07013534952845199,0.0,0.05560115754798185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991567838650405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299532298957973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092283465847776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785595877405407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334014900443477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18848993970974612,0.0,0.18073129594414272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598527074535142,0.0,0.04611883849032194,0.06516089708578654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296137929226527,0.08749755392934759,0.10367421357718762,0.07650315460761778,0.0,0.3016801469026029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709541882586173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12227313428941262,0.0,0.09149170547443766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520020745116664,0.27153744868854124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044560909866151854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06088380826184296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131445541152202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912138400662673,0.0,0.0,0.13526306277985106,0.0,0.08809180129777261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571021993983647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058431869454149424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830347380230017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06455935811736667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13715809499459866,0.0,0.0,0.08397449974114406,0.1043073121563571,0.0,0.0,0.11688818615113016,0.08961398745957297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715567211623784,0.10133837345224313,0.06192603509829463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15755340968195294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460279490608837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4648170088355394,0.0,0.0,0.12958683870642462,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mothmanned,2019/04/15,"Brief mourning period for 4 months of stability Well, it happened again. Hubris is indeed my downfall.

I tried taking Vyvanse again, at a lower dose than the previous dose that made me manic. And I was OK for about a week before the symptoms started showing up. Namely, lying (about anything) and some risky behaviors. Luckily, not drinking and drugs, but I did take a hit off of a vape pen, which I know is super bad for my brain (no matter how much analog weed I can smoke.) I decided on Saturday to stop taking it.

And Sunday I blew up.

We were having a disagreement about how to best spend our day on Sunday. I wanted to stay Very Busy, and he wanted to take his time. Which is no big deal at all and shouldn't have been what set me off. But it did, and I was in the History of Pain.

My History of Pain is a mindset I get into when manic brain meets remotely challenging parts of my relationship. Suddenly, I am the victim of circumstance and have been forever and will be forever: He doesn't love me, he's shown how he doesn't love me in every action, and on top of that, I don't deserve love for how terrible I am and the terrible things I've done.

And then I'm hitting myself in the head over and over and over, and bashing my skull into anything I can get my hands on.

And then it subsides, and I'm crying, and he wants to get away from me, and I don't understand.

And then it's quiet, and he's mad and I'm still crying, and it seems like I'll never stop and we'll never be happy again.

And then it's quiet, and he's quiet and I'm quiet.

And then we're in the car and talking about the news, and all I want is to be held, but that's asking too much too soon.

I should've trusted my body sooner- there were warning signs that the Vyvanse was going to push me over the edge, and I went willingly. And why? Because Vyvanse would help me achieve my goals, surely, but at the cost of myself and him.

Everything has a cost, and this cost was too high. Sure, he and I are OK now, but there's the threat of so many next times, and eventually, he'll walk.",3.090109297912715,4.093964974117647,4.527597722960152,87.02038330170782,73.37647058823529,7.6485768500948765,24.297912713472485,8.049812674583475,1.190952182163188,1594,45,344,23,31,532,201,425,0.175,0.728,0.09699999999999999,-0.9907,1,0,3,0,0,0,59.0,3,0,0,6,23,23,3,0,19,2,37,16,6,5,6,74,68,52,1,6,6,0,1,1,0,6,6,4,0,0,16,39,1,3,4,2,4,7,10,9,1,0,14,5,41,14,48,43,7,62,0,1,0,3,24,25,0,2,29,236,57,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17497707265580936,0.0,0.09939057109089644,0.0,0.0998868417218262,0.0,0.0887689392940559,0.0648088964545672,0.0,0.09046659639542826,0.0,0.11157147967017116,0.0,0.0,0.11809247036718434,0.0,0.23736635042526136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335650049212937,0.06856465403719468,0.10960653514869352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087975919685121,0.0,0.10414864204995936,0.12329214038830966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957533112848022,0.0,0.09554944896574724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16663626507342064,0.0,0.06042150621535501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940143794455838,0.11317474711687026,0.0,0.0,0.10911029831797983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712609885189842,0.11232808390937878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058428177334480635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051940346582614635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28786146638621424,0.10059822598072016,0.0,0.10778715434810048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485995813443566,0.0,0.15630814075184327,0.0,0.16399402019759754,0.0,0.11306766088651304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22625421654351835,0.0,0.0,0.11512924519432595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414297929234173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678557022883703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525060520171857,0.1133180976100163,0.08490363594609486,0.1777689120144214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20040206023287924,0.11050243429472006,0.31974387471123,0.08545231166748181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063124446768028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398675887054562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218119502393243,0.0,0.0,0.11067810711080366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772136009179196,0.25083036942480513,0.0,0.08527982129620455,0.0,0.09559033527828108,0.09855546434494876,0.09593313499083482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755234277663362,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,predlily,2019/04/15,"How do you all keep up with cleaning while having bipolar disorder? So my brother works too much, my mother can barely move these days because of pain, and in the end, the cleaning often falls on the woman with bipolar disorder. 

I'm not too too torn up about it, because hey, I don't have a full time job, and sometimes it's fun. But predictably, some days I end up not being able to clean. And it gets messy, real fast---especially the dishes, which I hate doing, doubly so when I'm depressed.

I was wondering if any of you have managed to figure out a system for cleaning that works alongside your bipolar disorder, not against it? I'd love some tips and advice.",5.655058139534884,6.1116311240310095,5.9747189922480635,80.94719476744189,67.2170542635659,8.000387596899225,31.62887596899225,7.645422480735847,2.1231155038759693,521,20,97,5,8,167,87,129,0.154,0.76,0.086,-0.8619,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,3,0,2,9,5,1,0,6,0,9,6,0,1,1,21,16,11,0,1,5,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,4,1,7,7,1,1,2,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,1,0,9,2,15,14,5,17,0,1,0,1,8,7,0,5,7,69,16,4,0.1719596851615483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16803701415325908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693848265871752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20965005600477368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217995421187703,0.0,0.14810862485464654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5912420912507698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046104814289545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984183812263992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697745881734489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17064345370813336,0.15284566924185367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15520032961265126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827659314350736,0.12641015452870216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829772290711565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19572776847997087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700725256225355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027107528085534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18648294324863846,0.2503773976551458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,irresistiblebliss,2019/04/15,"Food. Anyone else have a hard time enjoying food? When I'm depressed I eat junk, and when I'm up I barely eat at all. My eating habits are so disordered that when I'm stableish I don't care enough to fix it because I know I'll shortly be back where I started yet again.

I know that's terribly defeatist of me. It just feels so pointless.",2.132582159624413,3.7276000281690163,3.484154929577468,91.15937793427231,76.88732394366197,6.423474178403758,25.91784037558686,7.1686216300943375,1.0766319248826297,266,10,58,3,6,87,52,71,0.19699999999999998,0.753,0.049,-0.8492,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,0,1,0,4,5,0,0,1,6,12,6,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,5,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,8,2,4,11,2,12,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,8,34,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378163500906607,0.20195143227397536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15155712592307574,0.0,0.12014984872285775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20095578009305054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16976126035884367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258927700000186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6050450916729103,0.16465109834701688,0.0,0.0,0.20365617138782566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996592825087185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.476666293062469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176562177511774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21664114193987125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13950783497182692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11493013410880012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jumpkin126,2019/04/15,"Abilify I'm sorry if this has been discussed before.  I just started Abilify.  I'm currently on lamictal and welbutrin.  I was doing pretty good, but then I added the Abilify and it has made me extremely irritable.  Is this normal?  Will it subside in a few weeks?",1.8712244897959167,4.691815306122454,4.719591836734697,73.69326530612248,89.81632653061224,8.514285714285714,29.44897959183673,8.841846274778883,3.769073469387755,206,11,33,7,7,73,38,49,0.124,0.7929999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.4677,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,1,0,7,11,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,4,1,2,7,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,4,26,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.328363414584885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32366567821474396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3651378331934291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3780896307356752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39258819847048704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4319715338729688,0.2731344679489248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095371599215558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mysecretskill,2019/04/15,"DAE feel like they’re way too extroverted for their SO? My new bf and I (he’s 25, I’m 22) are doing great, but after a night out (or even a night in drinking/staying up late) he feels drained. I’m always ready to go. I know he’s an introverted type, but I’m wondering if this is worth pursuing because I feel like I’m “too much” personality for him. He’s mentioned it, but he says it’s good and it keeps him on his toes. Idk. I’m looking for feedback before I bring this up. He’s quite a logical thinker and I don’t want to worry him if it isn’t worth it. 


I’m just so excited and ready to go out all the time..>.<",-0.74969890510949,1.2159291897810218,2.047185218978104,95.63603330291971,89.2189781021898,5.468795620437956,20.24133211678832,6.9077264865688965,0.2197156934306572,477,16,119,7,16,166,82,137,0.064,0.73,0.20600000000000002,0.9554,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,1,6,5,0,0,5,0,5,1,1,0,1,23,22,12,0,3,7,0,3,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,7,6,0,1,7,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,5,11,5,13,22,2,15,0,0,1,0,15,6,0,4,7,59,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16322994097963964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958398714203665,0.0,0.1669270253308305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12956905889172715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975697718670518,0.28028912428831626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229769373538009,0.16453888120994106,0.0,0.2162791591588488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17436574922658382,0.0,0.0,0.10781042093499152,0.0,0.2212893703112579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19167842927992326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647341866961673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442082161279173,0.0,0.0,0.18946312088234665,0.0,0.36818628537442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17128890231156474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20865194692723416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15600300901036476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090921257555416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11438885546332468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570670584229018,0.15571136495661986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127390215163744,0.0,0.1992211167834046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kehwa,2019/01/10,"Intense bursts of anxiety and stress I did a little bit of research prior to this but I couldn't find anything specific enough to my situation.

Does anyone here get these intense bursts of like anxiety, agitation and stress seemingly from out of nowhere?

I always need to step away when I feel this way just to clear my head, and it's over the most trivial things - often a sudden change of plans or having to multitask (e.g. being part of a conversation while getting texts I need to reply to).

It completely overwhelms me to the point where I can't think straight. I get really snappy and rude, and I feel terrible about it cause I can't control it and it affects the people around me. It's a very confusing feeling but it fades again after maybe 10-20 minutes of clearing my head. That's also around the time where embarrassment kicks in and I start apologising for being so cold and rude.

Can anyone relate? How do you handle it and maybe prevent it from overwhelming you?",5.0864401544401545,6.8144476864864885,5.509517374517376,79.09817567567569,69.43243243243242,8.528957528957529,28.88996138996139,9.04235418022936,2.461888030888031,782,29,140,15,14,250,115,185,0.193,0.736,0.071,-0.9776,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,2,13,10,2,6,8,0,9,2,2,4,2,35,20,17,0,3,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,14,12,0,2,6,0,0,1,3,9,0,0,1,4,17,1,26,16,4,22,0,2,0,0,3,11,0,5,10,100,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148267615478364,0.11947618776220816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21968787789158306,0.0,0.0,0.20079924422363454,0.0,0.11816016452394885,0.25564638901084435,0.0,0.0,0.13490505324483454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156760210548506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14750377377575988,0.15189639003505154,0.0,0.15054861723654228,0.0,0.1610454360106639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565426814060188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14836412831007634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217806253696924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123624760146266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250554109504702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947241168188921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014953221563006,0.1439122585189905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885056092476015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129364191297057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554911206045708,0.0,0.0995453975045747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13573646866609598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919857408882688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307165416383356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16139821100918889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163187389301176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.328957676174775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953930631043194,0.0920049837925736,0.0,0.0,0.08372694550532843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11847461136922348,0.0,0.11397296454691085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,insane-danish,2019/01/10,"Experiences with mood stabilizers in addition to Citalopram(Lexapro)? I recently started taking oxcarbazepine in addition to my 40mg Lexapro and I’m experiencing some side effects. What kinds of effects have you all experienced, and when did they finally leave(if ever)? (I’m BP2)",8.373000000000001,11.752450688888896,8.201944444444441,56.29625000000002,64.33333333333333,12.5,44.58333333333334,11.698219412168324,7.019333333333334,231,15,30,9,4,74,37,45,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,1,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,10,6,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,1,6,5,2,8,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,5,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3662228818850531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3960349117948469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4435089827568577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4216038013429686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3997545915108259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28656499124566154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30440752074969674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Spysnakez,2019/01/10,"Lithium and muscle pain? Hi all,

I started lithium about ten days ago with 300 mg at evening. Then as ordered, increased it to 300 mg at morning and 300 at evening, bringing it to total of 600 mg. I increased the dose yesterday.

Since yesterday I have had a quite bad muscle pain in my lower back. It is seriously distracting and affects my daily function. I feel drained in other muscles but the pain is bad.

As far as I know I shouldn't even be in the therapeutic range yet. I have blood tests scheluded for 2 weeks from now on but I think I can't handle this.

Is it normal to have this amount of pain so early?",2.541396895787141,4.498939089430894,3.8326977087952687,87.50008869179605,76.8048780487805,6.423946784922395,27.4419807834442,7.348242739294969,1.4686650406504067,480,20,97,6,11,157,78,123,0.214,0.762,0.024,-0.9731,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,8,8,0,1,4,0,10,6,1,1,2,14,15,10,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,7,4,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,8,0,1,1,2,11,0,19,12,5,23,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,11,67,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15791060694511613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697887685643606,0.2974793802776657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11488574130851993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3529799180824478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900730764272432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979012373158926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17453964842585898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7582152570238219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18947411201430706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14735947775555408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126088604747052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414509633457035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14289338473082194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PlaidCoat,2019/01/10,"Reasonable Accommodation Frustration. To start off with I have a few different mental health disabilities. I am fortune that I am employed full time! I am also ""out"" about having a severe and persistent mental illness at work.

However being in my office causes me some issues in being easily distracted by things going on around me. My disability causes some executive function deficits, along with hyper arosal (awareness... Not the sexy kind) 

This summer my 5 year old was diagnosed with two chronic, incurable autoimmune diseases. This of course has made mental health stuff worse. I was lucky to be in a DBT program when it happened or I'd be in a horrible spiral right now. I knew it would effect my performance and I asked my direct supervisor, and manager about working from home 8 to 16 hours a week as an accommodation. At previous jobs this has been heart for keeping me up to date in notes. I was told that as an orginzation we do not have a policy for this.


I said fuck it, and worked from home anyways (making sure I didn't go over my hours) and got caught up. Woo! 

Over the fall we had a lot of staffing changes and I wound up with double the work load for 3 months. I have stopped working from home becuse I was worried in would get caught and get sacked. My performance has suffered and my new supervisor has noticed.

I again went to my supervisor and director and was told the same thing about their being no policy allowing us to work from home. So I went to HR, with documentation from my care provider. HR just now got back to me, after a month. Again they implied they where (but didn't out right) denying the request. 

I've been in contact with an ADA specialist in my state, along with AskJAN about this and it's super frustrating. 

The best/worst and most ironic part of all of this? Our orginzation serves people with disabilities. This is what we do for them and teach them what to do. How to obtain and maintain emoloyment. My caseload is only people, like me, who have a serious or sevre and persistent mental illness. Ain't that some shit? I love the people I serve, and what I do and this is really leaving a sour taste in my mouth about the orgization. 

If you read this whole thing... THANK YOU for listening. I am so frustrated with the situation and I'm not gonna give up this fight. 
",4.178439466864127,6.279738970319638,4.8947932864371255,81.0538411699371,72.53881278538813,8.388103171664815,26.906330988522768,9.068930737419137,2.2799714179933366,1831,66,341,40,37,589,231,438,0.111,0.816,0.07200000000000001,-0.9391,4,0,0,0,1,0,55.0,5,2,5,13,19,17,6,1,22,0,38,13,3,8,2,65,66,29,0,3,8,0,0,1,0,3,7,2,4,0,25,35,1,2,3,1,0,7,7,9,0,1,21,4,49,8,66,37,12,54,0,1,0,2,23,26,2,9,21,252,74,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06864975669866465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641973948370627,0.0802529504462732,0.0,0.0,0.06600906496573898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008842922332046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875241138455981,0.1763717454945778,0.09081202046238708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713028568516161,0.0,0.08968915443042208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07936178883718659,0.08970033928912037,0.08234979593739014,0.09757473150557663,0.0,0.13731525950197326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591194267294671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18249722178453714,0.0,0.10172605849221154,0.0,0.0,0.3444358356288473,0.0,0.16907893572847596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959927797674419,0.08518734709207601,0.07630247041000811,0.0,0.08939375989690326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908968524967571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041939250521507716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298186141589814,0.0774779463273801,0.08122807179798157,0.05730182114922284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3460439635499221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704040414069946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290908185257867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977344483174154,0.0900792848167228,0.0,0.0,0.06528855450037889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09296114820637504,0.0,0.17854114912874186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858676570225283,0.0,0.05499413766097844,0.08826236760707125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466213420312057,0.08165770758865662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697976707634504,0.08811806998105423,0.0,0.09649273190348304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06076112677512055,0.0,0.0,0.07176978424710946,0.0,0.0,0.09827133001629908,0.0,0.0,0.08090735586221723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07903401417611719,0.0,0.0,0.17109366713587199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050056575319061165,0.0,0.0,0.16405605622652605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08385753081367517,0.0,0.1032602750954154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688592207231839,0.0,0.0,0.15915728644020372,0.0,0.09584223628455237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3749745884985515,0.08717918189690514,0.08748280429586024,0.12196283489550495,0.0,0.0,0.05528099601816752
bipolarreddit,Zombiebloomers,2019/01/10,"I got a job interview of my dreams! I apologize..... I’m mostly just venting here, bare with me!


I’ve been jobless since last June after a few weeks stay in the hospital. It still took me a few months to get “better” afterwards. I tried to do everything right, Switched doctors, new therapist, exercise, eating healthier, stopped drinking beer, tons and tons of new meds...

I am FINALLY doing well! I can hardly believe it at times. I’ve come so far. 

So, I’ve been job hunting. It’s been awful. But I had a phone interview yesterday at a spa I really want to work at and it went soooo well! We immediately set up a time for an in person meet up next week. 

I was nearly hypo after my call, I was soooo happy! Naturally, it didn’t last. 

My mood DROPPED. HARD. things are going so well, wtf?? I became really depressed, anxious enough that I had to take an ativan (it didn’t help). Had a few crying spells. 

fucking disorder. I’m over it!!",0.7849590163934437,3.2920853169398896,3.0526024590163963,86.75792008196724,89.27322404371586,6.547267759562843,21.832650273224047,7.793537801064563,1.3970584699453554,715,26,142,16,24,243,119,183,0.134,0.773,0.094,-0.8559,3,0,2,0,0,0,44.0,1,0,0,2,9,8,1,0,10,1,15,6,0,0,0,10,26,6,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,9,5,3,1,0,5,0,4,2,2,3,0,13,2,17,5,19,13,7,36,0,1,0,1,9,11,1,1,18,89,26,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14833379491377638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14793229959825913,0.0,0.1161258772566924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407393977802576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131049769895053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14422899260613894,0.0,0.0,0.11309015047356945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15048337468862746,0.13439307787970478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12862589349996878,0.0,0.13435464274151254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356699815872946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800569843967257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14383483432504188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213865083847686,0.0685998334133656,0.0,0.07462190644632594,0.0,0.10501413931765306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13977333437105655,0.2352414582754645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800890860918273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605937888643755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21405717730826052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14584683215851493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10480393908713463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536244232124917,0.1396410804905438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464777115766198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16823074303409638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121311214416416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108614304269366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13995037542412886,0.10485788215773266,0.10977428363109998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872270239525913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524516481040156,0.08723116067429941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15312640979264056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14588126328146225,0.08914538414620098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744527376726704,0.0,0.2106449588940417,0.0,0.3541685818399576,0.12171819441094955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558936086196754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,xd8282,2018/11/25,"Anxiety and stress because of family I sometimes need space and not have to think about the anxiety and stress my family causes me. I sometimes wish we didn't have the technology to make it so easy to reach out and communicate. If I don't answer my phone for week or two, they just blow up my phone and then threaten to never talk to me again. Sigh. 

​",4.709014084507039,5.883433140845071,5.404338028169018,81.60791549295776,69.70422535211267,9.060281690140846,26.876056338028175,9.3871,2.1533245070422544,287,9,57,6,5,93,50,71,0.15,0.735,0.115,-0.4009,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,1,0,4,3,0,2,2,0,4,0,0,2,1,18,8,9,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,2,1,1,1,0,10,0,10,7,0,7,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,2,4,41,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21176903709098488,0.2374920706643975,0.0,0.0,0.29903607975124435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191439678997228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20078008255050653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3685040667972557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13046380358002438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14492304405671236,0.15074240842741668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38660834954291184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44777260735310204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15709459711915952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252359025675767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909253878736372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567774927032114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247568393506059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374920706643975,0.0
bipolarreddit,dfanged_lucifer,2018/11/25,"new meds, transitioning back to reality, not sure how to feel over the last two weeks i stopped taking my lithium, zyprexa, and lyrica (taken as an adjunct mood stabilizer). Predictably, I started getting manic. I emptied my bank account. I lost my closest friend (thank god my boyfriend knew what was going on and did his best to be supportive), My psychiatrist wrote an email (behind my back) to my parents, letting them in on my medication strike, etc., etc. (I'm 39, so jeez). 

My psychiatrist told me that she was worried that my mania would escalate to manic catatonia (I had to look that one up). 

​

So -- unwillingly, I restarted the meds (now lithium, trileptal, abilfy, and clonazepam) -- but I have to say that I'm just fed up with all of this. ",4.054413250982595,6.627792700729928,4.798832116788322,79.42751263335205,74.54744525547446,7.135092644581696,31.70634475014037,8.139509932561175,2.6103154407636167,588,29,102,10,13,189,96,137,0.064,0.89,0.046,0.1202,1,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,1,2,7,7,0,0,4,0,8,2,0,1,2,15,24,8,0,1,3,1,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,6,4,1,1,2,0,2,1,1,1,0,2,10,3,21,5,17,11,4,16,0,1,1,0,9,7,1,0,8,74,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814240914657516,0.20346120350019112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575061956415329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17572077935552868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.373485735666626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08466405833075216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936581178863654,0.0,0.0874818978654106,0.0,0.09516154301604787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13648814574957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17122150153907129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406096933570046,0.0,0.18278348274715175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3719821766330704,0.16868090063998253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16171719947155128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11346350445236394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18592529871508007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331571527419194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851680225189673,0.0,0.0,0.1399895916801666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19001198745616227,0.15781275964376176,0.0,0.12589606910410814,0.0,0.0,0.1541587381016092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599986718974622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16356718389307648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343124309704361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17004618593722814,0.0,0.11894648727375096,0.0,0.20346120350019112,0.0
bipolarreddit,Apricity3,2018/11/25,In the hospital for a mixed episode. Went to the emergency department a few days ago for being so irritable/anxious. I am now a voluntary patient for the next 2 weeks or possibly a month. The psychiatrists told me I was having a mixed episode. I didn’t realize that I could be manic and depressed at the same time. Just want to say thank you to everyone for the support on my last post where I overreacted about my psychiatrist talking to my mom.,5.233875968992251,6.4748154883720925,6.465116279069767,74.2401550387597,68.53488372093022,10.849612403100775,35.26356589147287,10.864195022040775,4.163626356589148,356,18,67,11,6,120,63,86,0.105,0.816,0.079,-0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,11,0,7,0,0,0,0,7,12,3,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,4,1,10,2,12,5,2,15,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,1,8,49,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215818020327488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995793351109186,0.0,0.0,0.1612088641762856,0.0,0.21529731720315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388554080456309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037575147329844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29275983374147985,0.19952229989344586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658441064501866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2818016824082888,0.23940051898558395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19878481286862507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836610470522463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20091503849315315,0.0,0.23013721211796795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14575851691439135,0.0,0.0,0.2388554080456309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14743777068413175,0.0,0.2005094800137088,0.0,0.0,0.23172310410545835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Kensington798,2018/11/25,"Still struggling to accept my Bipolar Disorder type I diagnosis. It's been a year since I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I and I'm struggling to accept it.

I'm pretty sure I had my first manic episode around the age of 18. I didn't know what was wrong with me. In my mind, everything was fine for a few months at a time then everything was awful and I wanted to kill myself.

It makes sense on some level. The description fits my symptoms. But I still struggle to accept it because (outside of my doctor and psych) there wasn't a **SINGLE** person that tried to talk to me about my mental health.

In hindsight, my pre-diagnosis manic periods were out of control. I fucked up two relationships and most of my friendships. I crashed my car. I didn't save a single cent and I rarely paid bills on time. I let a drug dealer live with me for two months. I got heavily into conspiracy theories and ranted about them to anyone who'd listen. Manic me would barely sleep or eat. I ended up underweight. I went out and talked to strangers and fucked most of them. I came up with ideas for novels and the secret to life (it's aliens, don't ask) and talked and talked. Snorting coke at work. Driving unlicensed in an unregistered car to buy drugs. There are so many more downright dangerous things I can barely remember. 

Sometimes I think about what happened and wonder if I should've been hospitalized. Is the only reason it didn't happen because no one really cared? Or is it because it's not as bad as I remember? 

It was completely out of character. Anyone that knew me should've known something was wrong. I'm so angry with my parents for going along with it and thinking ""ok, this is how you are now"". There were many occasions I could've permanently ruined my life or the lives of other people. I have so much regret and shame, it's physically painful to think about. 

My boyfriend has BP I and I listen to his stories. Sometimes he talks about his family stepping in during manic episodes. And he talks about hospital. And I read other people's experiences on the internet and it seems like most people have some sort of support system and/or intervention when their manic episodes are bad. And I'm glad other people have support, I just wish I had it too.",3.2397321428571435,5.699537159722222,4.18207671957672,83.39916666666669,76.70833333333333,6.984656084656085,24.637566137566147,8.037061389416179,1.6119705026455025,1791,62,328,31,42,577,220,432,0.13699999999999998,0.77,0.09300000000000001,-0.9747,1,0,4,0,0,1,52.0,0,1,3,3,20,27,4,4,13,2,31,16,1,4,1,71,60,32,1,5,7,1,0,1,0,1,11,2,0,1,23,32,2,1,16,2,4,7,7,15,0,4,21,3,51,12,56,36,10,41,0,2,0,2,22,19,2,12,15,227,74,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11265397153425515,0.0,0.0,0.0717123740724543,0.07530946378125711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13452264425671726,0.14731950485881196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09213518848331416,0.08213273212994733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08446196949724719,0.0,0.09035097733665493,0.06431781936887454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176316331759212,0.0,0.0,0.18464948218869304,0.08245300283695588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868399563293691,0.08242942206472863,0.0,0.0,0.07134915861552979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447979961725787,0.07879972568154472,0.0759415095535533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06852132740081092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14894639334291104,0.0,0.0,0.045782121824945024,0.0,0.06442840110284069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14247171388721516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562780457127032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909384959403138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912384436711507,0.0,0.04427175190241933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08237449072457598,0.11379889260918186,0.0393558423783686,0.0,0.14226575076904588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053772096856756345,0.1633433173261351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118201634571713,0.0,0.08133911238208066,0.0,0.1285988776090176,0.0,0.059218304792217735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054587176908715215,0.06126685689604131,0.08571780773126815,0.0,0.08944847263224423,0.0,0.0,0.2233909678336635,0.07033883850011083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195493263012972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805783110846338,0.0,0.051606563937279526,0.08282551033438555,0.0,0.08648754575562284,0.18250964760918714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333562244079443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06663717863558538,0.0,0.08061468829769218,0.0,0.0,0.0620163380712167,0.15934489909686478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12866506804416836,0.0,0.0,0.2526454690660825,0.0,0.0,0.18282914888109655,0.07592355859890856,0.08372905982850518,0.0,0.38848963437355816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053518166649825095,0.1548520792284671,0.0,0.0,0.09394629917135128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05469258333742075,0.0,0.15738401253735815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047514317540647735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467669308130898,0.0,0.0,0.09263601246583364,0.0,0.0873601002468539,0.05864609968520443,0.0,0.0,0.05722503438282624,0.17615179837337913,0.0,0.05187575215953116
bipolarreddit,pforperfect,2018/11/25,"Everything sucks. Why can't I ever find peace? I have (at least) ADHD, severe anxiety, bipolar 1 and borderline personality. One of my psychiatrists also feels I might have mild OCD. I'm a classic INTP and that can be a bitch as well sometimes.

My body has been getting more and more unhealthy every day but I still can't stop eating junk, smoking and doing as little work as possible.

My entire life has felt out of place. As far back as I can remember, I've always either been a manic lunatic or a sad blob of depression.

My parents were really not very great at being parents. I never formed a real relationship with them.

I avoid people pretty much by necessity. The few times I get my anxiety in order, I still can't bond with most people because I don't know how to talk and my interests are too weird for most people.

The few people in my life who might have liked me were geeky weirdos themselves (I don't usually mind, but it makes me feel like I have to settle). Everyone else who tolerated me saw me as the weirdo who probably needs help. In every single group of friends I've ever had, I've been the pitiful one. People just know that I'm crazy and treat me with caution and patronize me. My stupid manic self can't tell so I play along.

I perform poorly at my job even though I can clearly see how much potential I have. I work in a field I've been obsessed about since childhood and really know my shit, but I can't put any of that knowledge or skill to actual use, certainly not consistently.

Meds don't work and I don't really trust psychiatrists. I've been fantasizing about getting a degree in psychology just so I can maybe understand and help myself.

I crave love but never learned to give or receive. Even my therapist's empathy feels like pandering to me. I want to own a dog but don't trust myself to take care of it. I just imagine an innocent loving creature becoming depraved and depressed.

I microdose psychedelics to give me a boost in mood and energy and that's the only way I can get anything done at all.

This sucks so much. I didn't ask to be born, certainly not in this situation. The whole universe feels like a cruel joke to me. And in the end I have nothing to blame. Can I blame myself for being mentally disabled? Can I blame my parents who themselves had mental illness and never learned to deal with it? Can I blame everyone around who tries to be cool with me but obviously senses that I'm screwed up? If survival of the fittest played out any faster, I'd probably be dead by now.

I don't want to kill myself, but I want to die. Pretty much the only reason I haven't progressed to hurting myself is that I feel shitty about traumatizing my family. I don't want to be a burden on anyone. I wish I could just be erased from everybody's minds so I can exit in peace.

I have a small fire in me that tells me to be strong, that I can overcome this. I don't know how long it'll last and I don't want to imagine what I'll be like when it dies out.",3.467816218520228,5.004416026711187,4.8445323766561295,83.02936596455086,73.20701168614356,8.036102724398821,26.26721841366817,8.656518465578396,1.865376414591696,2356,81,470,44,47,785,274,599,0.18,0.635,0.185,-0.6412,4,1,0,0,0,4,57.0,0,0,1,8,28,40,8,2,22,1,62,10,2,6,10,96,100,43,4,9,19,3,7,5,1,3,4,0,0,2,22,26,1,2,19,3,1,2,22,17,1,2,13,10,73,22,66,73,17,49,0,5,2,3,26,25,5,8,25,320,95,6,0.0,0.0,0.0678697551691606,0.0,0.0835843379167446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055618280452377225,0.05787030853056903,0.0,0.0,0.09459135932769493,0.0,0.1064095324108868,0.0,0.0,0.04863025190866722,0.0,0.0572328704581136,0.06191332216017975,0.0650188918315333,0.0,0.0,0.053478859419396466,0.0,0.04239640221452058,0.07681136526755353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725321901914085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090980280640903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05552918757371008,0.0,0.0,0.04485332738689928,0.07170192679891745,0.11980483955862445,0.0,0.14436168611666994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07117273586508158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07116595189854813,0.058099234121255235,0.0,0.06159973784660781,0.0,0.0,0.09187286804220554,0.12582203727635094,0.11719600162252987,0.13291402888971024,0.06250612325373348,0.0,0.06556457246233513,0.0,0.1758302266112778,0.14905737883913506,0.0667779110561105,0.0,0.06356649204615053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053733356163215715,0.0,0.14534585021632662,0.13343540504436754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07667797705578913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323440751913242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744536031615018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06901661403343687,0.0,0.07694562284160157,0.0,0.15288916444800274,0.05669168728752765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982489785161123,0.16989055093862385,0.06970633192951042,0.0,0.06154864353138561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12554130866407798,0.0,0.046424472749390384,0.0,0.06987128118444877,0.0,0.07725321901914085,0.0,0.14017799289553887,0.14756091767447624,0.1404492525668373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20450596036192908,0.051569674690978284,0.1609213430893927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06673410558677395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09425635431757902,0.10579024046571814,0.0,0.0,0.2316776779926771,0.0,0.0,0.2410824689959711,0.0607274717195982,0.07266386342116225,0.0,0.0,0.07840600567358469,0.0,0.14151259701480387,0.14997109011472207,0.0,0.0,0.06991591720233105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07916194591274958,0.13366453948660986,0.07150791715852348,0.0,0.07466955811281653,0.07878541713283538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05542151884549572,0.0,0.07255473630284179,0.07857053167915012,0.07139101090541533,0.05753162075685893,0.07817594821466221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878570260690214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108378312132776,0.05814604712706847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05229216457724173,0.05590082185946275,0.12157771802608865,0.0,0.0,0.08075170633811336,0.0,0.0,0.06833150286672335,0.0,0.04055455952745195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047219180451632745,0.0,0.0,0.07240292308789564,0.0,0.0600679735973201,0.07659835676008678,0.05738517809609017,0.20510890116000047,0.05520472946124271,0.0,0.0,0.06253287008396949,0.0,0.0627571213100745,0.0776489332694303,0.07997787491509963,0.0,0.0,0.15189741980566154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mookymoo-,2018/11/25,"Post-episode shame Hey guys, so have only recently beeb diagnosed BP2, I still don't know if I completely agree with that diagnosis but anyway,

So two nights ago I had my first psychotic episode, went out drinking with some friends, came home convinced that I was living in a simulated reality and that the only solution was for me to kill myself. Que over dosing on Panadol before waking my parents to tell them that they where the only ones who deserved to know even though they where ""fake"", voices began telling me I couldn't tell them and they couldn't touch me. Enter Ambulance. Me resisting like a fuck-tard, completely delusional hysterically laughing whilst banging my head on the kitchen cupboard, whole family is like what the fuck. 

Get to hospital, have tests done, settle down, have visits from a few friends, spend a couple days their now back home and back to normal.

Everyones been incredibly good and understanding and supportive of this yet I feel so damn embarrassed. I feel like it wasn't even me and like everyone thinks Im on edge 24/7 now. How do you deal with the shame? I still haven't apologised to my step dad who was there either.

There's also talk of putting me on lithium.. I don't want to go on medication especially seeing as this was the first time I have gone proper psycho, i'd rather take an alternative approach. 

Anyone have any similar stories? How did you recover/ deal with the shame after doing something completely out of body? What medications have been effective for people who experience 90% depression and 10% (hyper)mania?

​

​",6.8326573426573445,8.486690342657344,6.655531468531468,72.81560489510493,65.15384615384616,10.335384615384617,32.83146853146853,10.467255456243755,3.6939669930069927,1282,53,215,33,20,404,177,286,0.11699999999999999,0.738,0.14400000000000002,0.8276,1,0,2,0,0,1,46.0,0,2,6,3,22,19,3,4,12,0,24,10,3,3,0,32,41,17,1,6,4,2,3,4,2,0,4,1,3,1,12,14,2,0,7,1,1,9,6,9,0,4,14,5,29,10,29,25,4,38,0,1,1,1,24,12,2,2,21,145,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08351722263189111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534488303991828,0.0,0.20416702807740306,0.2289666654085324,0.06407043553993437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587835173001445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14489331116638066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017128300513217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046532669494922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10775855073639022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29635255243482306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10424874035903843,0.0,0.06076183367104879,0.1942661026000961,0.08114851403838139,0.0956277414499688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964161677737803,0.0,0.09229627939014023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244581896613806,0.0,0.0,0.18005576367349746,0.0,0.09216179374730607,0.08881890996192683,0.0,0.09527736385343652,0.06730827037157107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16028097531015092,0.0,0.0,0.14558283364859825,0.17420323058167014,0.04922422086683975,0.0,0.053545395398918484,0.07902431128025167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328912544652844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669328739847688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18901361780585027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176996335929746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423657305259858,0.0,0.1035578241516206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18411764744892656,0.0,0.08319487578338883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18982637806724909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841578176110101,0.09231214392546104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06384352351479024,0.2149676301520846,0.0,0.0,0.10461624852680376,0.0,0.0,0.06531784255728385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023334163224406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471358268166463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302740519867142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507833434160087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07253244740192395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504828013169968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691574218336053,0.0,0.0,0.07083906571599223,0.07572763578052162,0.24704806235728255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06037011450552095,0.09256721080838554,0.0,0.054938385715602785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09203580835553928,0.09808267582951734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055571319510960775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733961858324531,0.0,0.1051893324959777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289666654085324,0.0
bipolarreddit,thats_the_joke11,2019/03/21,"Seeing “signs from the universe” everywhere. 1:11 2:22 3:33 4:44 5:55 every time I look at the time. Opened Reddit while contemplating how unhealthy cigarettes are (as I’m smoking) first thing I read is a showerthought about how no other industry could survive after killing over 400 million people besides cigarettes. Was talking to my wife about how I’ve been seeing multiples of 11 everywhere and she says “someone gave me a book today” and pulls out a book which has the subtitle the meaning of 111,222,333 and other number sequences” 


I know this is a symptom and I’m probably ramping up to being hypomanic, but the cognitive difference between understanding that- and my experience of actually seeing it and feeling like the universe is trying to tell me something- is a real mind fuck. 

Hope you all are having productive and meaningful days. This sub definitely gets me through most days. ",6.683732009925556,9.371949154838713,6.4935483870967765,69.74339950372212,67.12903225806451,9.414392059553348,36.43920595533498,9.851270322608157,4.3302158808933005,729,38,105,18,13,229,110,155,0.07,0.828,0.102,0.6428,1,0,3,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,2,5,4,2,0,11,0,12,2,0,3,1,25,26,13,1,2,1,1,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,8,9,0,0,5,3,0,1,1,2,0,2,3,6,10,2,17,21,2,14,0,0,4,1,7,5,1,2,9,75,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.17085206766552696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13978651446596324,0.0,0.0,0.2258232317659125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18292052592687386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475117977767513,0.0,0.0,0.17126107666560236,0.0,0.0,0.08852531646757822,0.12507663299111593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14892229895119447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618579218946413,0.09147166869163506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17389317420877135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19369922180407384,0.0,0.09621896308779296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553486551514372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14702245378091808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907126017533119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17678010730489238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137788976315055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18876501596543355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17512660346078127,0.19927848724236305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923002651667646,0.0,0.0,0.4185464231151147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14834405879593027,0.13478454064494344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819743509308538,0.0,0.1407220487990103,0.15302695917379833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163148572199256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20418020755372515,0.0,0.16595463338388633,0.0,0.0,0.11886730095792185,0.0,0.0,0.1822636472426232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,shenrougu,2019/03/21,"Waiting 6 months and counting for any mental health treatment in the UK I moved back to the UK from the US about two years ago. Back in the states I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and put on meds. When I moved back I thought I was ok and didn't need help. That turned out not to be the case and in August of last year I went to a GP and asked for anti-depressants. He said he wouldn't prescribe them to me and said it would be best if I see a mental health specialist and he did the referral. That took until January and in the meantime my depression got worse, I got fired from my job due to the symptoms and started putting weight back on. I would see my GP each month and beg for just a week or two of anti-depressants, he didn't budge. 

The referral came through in January and I got an appointment in the middle of February. It was just an intake appointment, the Doctor there said he didn't want to prescribe anything until I had blood work done, that was another 14 days. That's finally done and I now have an appointment booked in the middle of April where hopefully I'll get a prescription. 

I'm a big proponent of universal health care in the US but honestly, I don't understand how people in the UK with mental health issues survive. Waiting so long for something as simple as anti-depressants is shocking to me and has taken a huge toll. At this point I'm tempted to move back to the States as this would have been resolved in a week or two back there. I'm trying to hold it together but I'm starting to fall apart without treatment. 
",5.730850303679889,5.60912118649518,6.097529474812436,82.11992050732405,67.03858520900322,9.869310468024297,31.74723115398357,9.586721724236666,2.6824296534476604,1223,45,251,23,18,394,156,311,0.044000000000000004,0.897,0.059000000000000004,0.6322,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,2,0,1,4,16,8,0,0,25,1,23,10,1,1,0,41,52,26,0,8,9,0,2,0,0,4,8,3,0,0,9,18,1,3,3,1,0,9,7,2,0,3,23,7,21,6,46,23,2,58,0,1,2,0,13,21,0,4,26,163,30,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147837616436976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0548348059025336,0.08455319951595973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635602585947079,0.0,0.07538317112514717,0.0,0.0,0.3720216599479053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846218293380221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222536360448673,0.08221311758521117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052003132607976066,0.0,0.2778044493735448,0.08184318706618357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253370174954572,0.0,0.1650359265139084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833208900836585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04212864442374861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934743765974264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3428464429817498,0.0,0.0,0.054048178143185716,0.0,0.0,0.08008910090680614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416235997369732,0.08001814672020555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657285758613374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07135975094544622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956770048276959,0.0,0.2437844139316564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287247406973983,0.25710786085073883,0.0,0.059790093349650235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055902401605627934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07622647328876374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16212160504030085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23010806122189564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12851187467084366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06207703508494521,0.0,0.0,0.11414823734143167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381100765148128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06401546411110827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958884538157738,0.05474611240064706,0.08770811025264638,0.23630707258638114,0.08394424739255042,0.1939888052628961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0475608210472036,0.0,0.1293616344434625,0.09819213802158737,0.0,0.07474978111594835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772960388784986,0.0,0.05870349815838787,0.0,0.08217431471454192,0.17184312606657945,0.0,0.0,0.1038530486326717
bipolarreddit,Thelweiss,2019/03/21,"Fighting the stigma against medicating mental illness so people like me don't wait forever to get help Hey there! I'm bipolar and have had a lot of success with lamotrigine, but it took me a really long time to start taking it because there's such an intense stigma around medicating mental illnesses. I kind of assumed I would lose all sense of self if I took them, and I wish I didn't have that feeling for so long (over a decade).

So I started up a project called Wear Your Meds recently to try and help other people not feel that way. Basically it's a series of 1"" buttons, and each button shows a commonly-prescribed mental illness medication. Anyone who wears one of these buttons is signaling that they’re open to sharing their personal story of how the medication helped. It's also a show of solidarity because sometimes it can feel like no one else you know is on meds. I'm hoping some people on here would be into it. More info is at wearyourmeds.com",6.669560276679842,7.068245135869567,7.4151581027667985,71.69268774703559,65.03260869565217,9.951778656126482,34.11857707509881,9.800150414767053,3.3557130434782607,771,32,135,15,11,257,121,184,0.1,0.7509999999999999,0.149,0.8571,0,0,0,0,2,0,16.0,0,2,2,2,10,8,1,0,10,0,12,10,2,1,1,27,27,11,0,5,3,0,3,2,0,2,8,0,0,2,12,9,0,1,6,2,0,2,4,2,0,2,4,3,12,6,21,20,5,17,0,1,0,0,14,8,0,5,8,91,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316564916019868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146006944199448,0.0,0.0,0.1037104132634348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420356149901024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896034427383728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09732147090113344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17671891763986786,0.08322819612972603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06086686058075666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342640952741433,0.0,0.0,0.1157115830716056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213176575151348,0.06402579394536878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11383281421606177,0.0,0.0,0.20619908716671276,0.0,0.13033459753499166,0.0,0.09904481563682027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588122552906303,0.4694492054887061,0.3522162209941641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578879168152278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423009615809845,0.10172400654238764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463339684771306,0.0,0.11503048707941115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215357442251232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11522227196145722,0.0,0.16491973437159607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759410429817488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793255444163035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588733549830288,0.07909639715229452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247291385381176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339701726539075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16551765414601788,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Idontnow125,2019/03/21,"Trying to understand my ex-girlfriend better. Hey, I don't know if these type of questions are allowed on this subreddit, but I figured the best way to understand someone who is living with a bipolar disorder is to ask people who live with a bipolar disorder.

I met my ex-girlfriend when we were younger. We became best friends and I saved her life 2 times when she tried to commit suicide. Because of this I always thought that we have a really deep connection. However, we only started dating 3 years after knowing each other. I was 18, she was 20. We dated for 2 years and our relationship was beautiful, but also exhausting from time to time. Constant suicide thoughts because of the slightest issues, and also a shitty behaviour that she showed from time to time, including insulting, manipulating and blackmailing me. She also had depressions, social anxiety, schizophrenia and I think borderline. So it's hard to distinguish why she behaved like she did.

However, after 2 years of dating, her best friend and 2 other friends came back in her life. She suddenly lost ALL interest in me. That's what I personally think is because of borderline, since they always need 1 favourite person in life and can't have 2 at the same time.

But what really surprises me, and what can't really be explained with any of the other things, is that she really.. changed. A lot. And quickly. We always used to play videogames, watch movies, go for a walk in the park or woods. And then when her best friend came back in to her life she changed completely. She was suddenly going partying, drinking alcohol every day, she also seemed to have lost every other mental illness she had. No signs of depression anymore, no signs of social anxiety anymore. She was suddenly like one of the girls of these clichee american student movies that only drink alcohol and party and just enjoy their live without any fear of repercussions. And then she broke up. She had no sense of any guilt anymore. Cancelled a date with me to go out with another guy, broke up over whatsapp, 30 minutes later she came by with another guy to pick up her stuff. When I talked to her mother, her mother cried and told me that her daughter just said ""I have to go own my way now."" the whole time and that they (her parents) also worry about her and don't know what is happening. Apparently she also wasn't home at that point for 1 week anymore. She is also not using any social media platform anymore or is playing any video games anymore, which was basically her whole life before that.

I first thought this was because of borderline too so I asked people with borderline about it and they said that even they would never do anything like that. So my last hope, before I have to accept that she just wasn't a good human is to ask you guys. Could all of this be explained because of her bipolar disorder ? Like a manic episode ?",5.821091070372564,7.34185836516854,5.999515079834421,77.07832052040216,67.40823970037454,9.141651882515275,32.404691504041004,9.4824395486982,3.1575026217228466,2293,98,392,47,38,729,239,534,0.149,0.6920000000000001,0.159,0.8912,6,0,4,0,0,3,66.0,7,1,5,8,25,32,1,2,16,0,37,14,0,5,4,81,72,39,2,5,11,4,1,4,4,1,12,2,1,7,33,35,4,0,17,7,0,8,12,10,0,2,26,4,67,22,62,42,12,63,0,6,1,0,80,16,0,7,41,282,100,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656801213440646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3052953567898175,0.13613871718853246,0.0,0.0,0.18543686510659094,0.1143746567159618,0.08344208286244906,0.0,0.32451929696402004,0.0,0.0,0.04487971905356415,0.0,0.1529556131930624,0.0,0.0,0.08387194864895386,0.0,0.1662277817833831,0.0,0.09281479838093976,0.0,0.2289349838118453,0.048233990514622495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871291275165212,0.0,0.0,0.11538689604045065,0.0,0.05718153552595257,0.05893566722831571,0.0,0.04354375934026697,0.0,0.05990688747108815,0.0351721784287372,0.0,0.0939461448920941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18751411413569324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10685198292708338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03602150716341389,0.0,0.09190039893018408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06136985454478935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046389573205282635,0.0,0.0,0.1685421618106767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12397968179853565,0.045743471001952515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16200211057304872,0.048227334844178994,0.0,0.04885489149857341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054705563420941405,0.05416804730835149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05692298508810353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991715807503843,0.04445534494026171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19260726038238066,0.10657707901001863,0.0,0.14447284612499445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11906825651827875,0.046365835784496864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05496097686772962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040438868316217715,0.04206268536341492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036956024282252746,0.08295645898426796,0.0,0.0,0.0605574443268171,0.0,0.0,0.07561887698921044,0.09524009010183968,0.0,0.0,0.0515555695407195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06109448618930581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13975248679220392,0.0,0.0,0.058552869411111486,0.0,0.0,0.10375531089891764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049648895531056815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04511398704270285,0.0,0.0,0.16678235236190753,0.046209450321055265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03860192617014473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06243239431636725,0.11931035558202548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04383518002564843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03623229443720898,0.06989086111676025,0.0,0.1298900592905235,0.22260880091373167,0.0,0.0,0.05211292240892538,0.0,0.07405477082124579,0.0,0.0,0.11355093046467725,0.0,0.09420578620593932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657866463160614,0.04374669621134213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04921161476721466,0.1217783515677904,0.0,0.052572207865785384,0.0,0.0,0.05538548282050476,0.0,0.03874187822061249,0.0,0.0,0.105361093852154
bipolarreddit,jblittl1,2019/03/21,"Rocky Meds So to start my marriage has been very rocky and very nearly ended over the last year. My husband is struggling to make it through each day and a few times sinking into suicidal thoughts. He’s overworked (understaffing problems, he’s law enforcement), doesn’t sleep for shit, has chronic pain issues and has also struggled with depression his whole life. He is in a very very dark place and it just doesn’t want to end. I do my best to help but quite often it just never seemed to be enough. Just always coming up short. 

When we first met I was going through a really dark patch in life and he was my rock. And now when he needs one I just can’t pull it together. I sank into a very dark place too. My journal entries over the last year just got deeper and deeper into the darkness. I didn’t know what to do and my eternal demon of self harm became the main urge and thought in my head every single moment of every day. 

I called my psychiatrist and told him I just didn’t think I could do this anymore, told him I’m not gonna be able to pull myself out of this one. So he put me on a med to work in tandem with my mood stabilizer. 

I’ve been on it for a few weeks now and I already feel so much better. My mood, my ability to cope and do better in many aspects of my life, handle my husband’s dark times, doing things to improve the relationship itself and my anxiety is so much lower I find myself going days without having an attack. 

But I still find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop....... I’m keeping the hope this med truly will continue to work......

If you made it this far in the post, thanks for reading. I just needed to get this out of my head. 
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bipolarreddit,melwhoever,2019/03/21,"why does alcohol turn me into the spawn of satan? I’ve been diagnosed BP2 since 2015. 
As the years have gone on, I’ve gotten worse at drinking, and no matter how little I drink, if I drink at all I can feel my emotions get negative. 

The more intoxicated I get these days, the more belligerent and unnecessarily angry I get. I pick fights and make shit up to fight about with my boyfriend.  I’m about to kick alcohol to the curb because of how bad it makes my mood swings.  

I can’t be the only one that turns into a complete bitch for no reason when I drink. Thoughts and support I’ll love a lot, because I just don’t get why alcohol affects my bipolar so severely. ",3.6179104477611936,4.8962812388059715,4.958388059701496,83.38026865671642,72.43283582089552,8.046567164179105,27.579104477611946,8.548686976883017,1.8686143283582093,522,19,108,9,10,174,90,134,0.237,0.708,0.055,-0.9789,1,0,7,0,2,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,7,8,4,0,8,0,6,12,1,7,1,22,21,10,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,7,7,1,3,4,0,1,5,5,0,1,4,1,14,2,16,16,4,11,1,0,0,1,3,7,2,2,3,65,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4216699236182645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10981508068369301,0.16034874923093662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13789794344725229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482058110666435,0.0,0.0,0.13349170210393033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509547865679595,0.0,0.0,0.5153645687677691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479441493348855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650129596245356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748585265580958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181924119194852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181500010599137,0.11870342039427395,0.0,0.1755834398731333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912247108503082,0.10002813831752484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352261569090354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148582023745949,0.13500507952411586,0.10879606461549414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492492051925005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044134957532195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861155667478313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373556571259734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13403179340508264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469562786849122
bipolarreddit,longleafbaby,2019/03/21,"Starting a new job, how to manage sleep changes? First: my current job is making me miserable.  I have been working my way out of a depressive episode that started in November but the stress of this job is a major contributing factor to keeping me down.  The job pays poorly but is part time and offers health insurance, allows me to work alone for the most part, and I start work at 10.  Honestly have no idea how I will get better if I stay at this job because I cannot emphasize enough how much it is affecting me.  There is no point in trying to change anything about the job because oh my GOD I have tried.

​

I have an interview for a temp job that would have me working 8:30-5:30.  I am getting desperate to start a new job and earn more money.  However, I am really bad with sleep disruption- just a time change can be a trigger for me- and I would need to get up two hours earlier.  I have non-manic related insomnia that keeps me up at times, but I have depended on the ability to sleep in to make sure I don't become sleep deprived.  Being at work so early feels risky since I can't seem to fall asleep before midnight on somewhat regular basis and it leaves no room for flexibility.

​

I had been searching for a job that can accommodate my needs for MONTHS with no luck.  I'm a little concerned that I may be flipping up since I am having a sudden lack of sleep and am afraid a big change will trigger a hypomanic episode or exacerbate the depression.  I have no idea what my options are since all jobs seem to start at the crack of dawn and leave very little flexibility for sleep.  But I need money.

​

I don't know what to do.  Advice or support would help.  I feel so lost and I don't know what I need.

​",4.030963210702339,5.4717909246376815,4.907898550724641,83.50933946488296,71.63768115942028,8.20624303232999,28.051839464882946,8.730908602173464,2.066050167224081,1379,51,274,25,26,448,174,345,0.14,0.755,0.105,-0.8639,13,1,0,0,0,1,46.0,0,0,0,9,8,13,0,3,20,0,39,9,7,10,2,54,64,20,0,9,8,0,2,0,0,6,2,0,1,0,12,11,0,2,8,0,4,1,10,8,0,2,4,2,35,5,40,51,10,39,0,5,0,0,3,20,0,11,16,184,47,19,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05386672017798392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0570920359291524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389081459775317,0.26792769644798825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04536251122640626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04602639584905748,0.06720638877698584,0.060880336620806864,0.04690662533456357,0.0,0.0,0.048752866157707686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332563339252649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949567676049605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056958023570606475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05574489320386633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04688860758689868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08640034183208159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058594435913137725,0.0,0.0,0.03694858237862862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05428622291850766,0.0,0.0,0.12445700083263972,0.0,0.0,0.5470225246157465,0.09799382519328023,0.0,0.0,0.06058962605889355,0.0,0.0,0.11673711514612085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104978394196809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06017456478028128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359164932380799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04399960229209948,0.0,0.0405226220899334,0.16349555270506178,0.0,0.10647857179905026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11938825123422585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052110176966202036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03531396744854449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036598394113062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367978980383144,0.0,0.3309839983005853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19508592591279084,0.058755051698696936,0.0,0.0,0.06314457304037635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255427720472735,0.05195389641127997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964300749090876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748514127002077,0.0,0.05384832346540615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04548322956330387,0.0,0.04375501595309785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20065533308751612,0.0,0.0,0.11747592828848365,0.0,0.26792769644798825,0.0
bipolarreddit,allergictosushi,2019/03/21,"Sex and bipolar It is so, so easy for a woman to get laid these days. Combined with a hypomanic phase and a little too much time on your hands... I understand how people can get addicted to this.  
  
I've been through this before, but the force of it always catches me off-guard. Can't stop doing it. Can't stop thinking about it. Anyone else go through phases like this? How did you handle it? Please don't get preachy on me, just need a friend.",1.2249438202247198,3.6013976179775287,2.3326853932584264,94.19026404494385,84.05617977528091,4.908314606741573,20.135955056179775,6.2581,0.04049573033707876,344,10,73,3,10,109,66,89,0.0,0.802,0.198,0.9522,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,0,0,7,2,0,0,5,0,8,4,1,2,0,12,15,7,0,1,2,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,9,3,0,2,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,1,5,2,10,13,1,9,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,5,47,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622248659316145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20014913002747806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16819164887284804,0.2464623708583833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046824173158766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15512885075743818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20094088764861928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18584114656729825,0.0,0.3770177602198433,0.0,0.1367048219208798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751603484986695,0.24108497167815154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17682508997793112,0.1783578796672067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16676063307639535,0.0,0.0,0.26404145335894297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4022055884105742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15412876665370664,0.0,0.0,0.1402612153653791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25041134971371176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mantiskass,2018/11/18,"Yikes (med advice) Reference to the Kanye song.

Anyway I recently had my 9th treatment of ECT for suicidal depression. Now in the space of a week I've finessed a job as a writer at a major media company, contacted by a local MP about my story and also been socialising & talking nonstop.

I'm so exhausted though, rapid cycling is all too real. What meds can I add to stabilise? Im on Zoloft, Lith, and a bunch of benzos.

 Thanks in advance ",3.6623920265780754,5.447073744186046,5.66654485049834,76.31848837209303,73.18604651162791,8.635215946843855,29.727574750830563,9.23628265651192,2.9219621262458477,346,15,61,8,7,120,70,86,0.134,0.8320000000000001,0.034,-0.8605,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,7,3,0,0,8,0,4,2,0,0,1,6,6,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,1,4,1,13,4,3,10,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,0,3,40,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23585188318635195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19301360993528605,0.0,0.2615108918418543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20788097351128645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607076581504917,0.0,0.2395102062083727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5361878346732797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27471782345382795,0.0,0.0,0.2383115425475567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26400607387197234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19399412095601898,0.0,0.22220967877233103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371326465567833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19360253274387654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,garni1999,2018/11/18,"do you want often to kill someone? often i want to be seriel criminal,. i dont know why ibhave that throught",0.4343939393939422,2.8821730454545467,2.824545454545458,87.87348484848488,91.27272727272728,4.751515151515153,20.96969696969697,6.42735559955562,0.6211333333333333,85,3,16,1,3,29,17,22,0.20199999999999999,0.687,0.11199999999999999,-0.6249,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,11,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4856677020516208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4584665265734752,0.0,0.22774058350106435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3511154290685495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4888416625216331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3739269156870627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,brittymaa,2019/02/25,"I’m jealous I’m probably gonna sound like an asshole, but I’m jealous of everyone that get to be like the “fun” and excited hypomanic. 
I jump from like being really hyper one day to raging manic (like ready to kill everyone and agitated) the next day.

Sorry if I sound like an idiot, I’m just having a hard time dealing with my rage today and I’m finding myself being envious of other people’s situations. I know that people with what I’m calling the “fun” manic struggle really hard and their situation probably isn’t any easier than mine. ",4.390471698113212,5.929360075471699,7.0548584905660405,68.08247641509436,70.88679245283019,10.205660377358493,29.287735849056602,10.411451182825502,3.5724754716981133,432,17,72,13,8,157,67,106,0.262,0.521,0.217,-0.743,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,1,16,7,1,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,11,14,6,1,1,3,0,2,5,0,1,0,2,0,0,4,6,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,8,0,1,0,4,7,8,9,10,0,6,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,10,39,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101168362521719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16534695827212015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20886078992131155,0.16694102692675652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3094589708592854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479995857025712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460088374857466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29011200573163826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791497365296716,0.0,0.08899159080655515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3955500821949252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722126458517628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972684617163198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245214696173716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34917231531712256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20747090519305764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3640285180209603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18126553959695174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16928267827767582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09442172778789708,0.0,0.15348914967079225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ouidhead,2019/02/25,"I have the urge to break up with my SO when I’m manic Whenever I stop taking my seroquil for a while, I start to feel manic and can’t resist the urge to break up with my boyfriend. When I’m not manic, I really love him and he’s been my rock through everything and I adore him BUT when I’m manic I feel suffocated by him and I want to run and ghost him and I just don’t understand???


Has anyone ever felt like this? What can help? I try reminding myself of reasons why I love my SO to calm myself down and sort of talk myself down",0.7123162055335968,2.4854428086956557,2.955098814229249,92.49667984189723,81.78260869565217,6.2687747035573125,18.280632411067195,7.348242739294969,0.1678695652173916,413,9,96,6,11,141,66,115,0.1,0.763,0.13699999999999998,0.6372,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,3,0,6,2,0,1,1,21,18,14,1,1,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,9,0,1,5,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,3,22,5,16,16,0,14,0,0,0,2,9,4,0,1,8,66,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18304941356136126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368037305234163,0.0,0.0,0.2352796614559764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26473743074992634,0.0,0.251359122725317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754720873353778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278972018378095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4725507688474385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677091563835982,0.2691633661582827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852960651040969,0.0,0.0,0.2188678735925729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968332402985617,0.21041660812678314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17773799129712034,0.0,0.0,0.2725322631735235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544103211476959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362244446971687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,asx523,2019/02/25,"Tired of mania and I just want it to stop I’ve been in a mixed episodes I guess since around December with about a month of hypomania preceding it. Right now I feel stable but I’m all over the place. I was switched from latuda to vraylar in December, and my doctor added 1 mg klonopin up to 2x a day and 100 mg trazodone. My meds I’m still on, and was on before is 500mg depakote 3x a day, lexapro 5 mg, and temazepam 30 mg. So I’m on a lot of meds and I was putting a lot of faith into trying this vraylar since it’s supposed to treat mixed episodes, and some of my symptoms have dissipated or gone away like I’m not as physically and mentally agitated, and my thoughts have slowed a bit, but I’m still having these outbursts of rage where I feel completely out of control and aggressive, and then I feel shame and embarrassment because I have no impulse control when, and leading up to these outbursts, and before. I had to move back home with my mom a couple weeks ago because I quit/was sort of pushed out of my job in December because my episode was escalating and I couldn’t manage my caseload. My boss was a social worker and said she’d call me in January to see if I was ready to come back to work and she never did so I just figure that my job I’ve built my career around is now just obsolete because of my circumstances for leaving. I blew all my savings in December and January by going on a trip to Vegas and then other stupid shit. 

I’m not hearing things anymore like I was, but my thoughts are disorganized and I’m not sure if my thinking is accurate. I ruined most of my relationships with people within a few weeks in December, so I’ve been isolating myself from the people I do know, but I still keep putting myself in not-so-ideal circumstances with people I don’t really know or really care to be around if it weren’t for the impulse to do some of these things. I don’t know why I can’t control this. The klonopin and trazodone aren’t cutting it for sleep. I’m supposed to use the klonopin and temazepam and trazodone together, but apparently there’s been a shortage of temazepam so I haven’t been able to fill that since early December.

My therapist and psychiatrist have been trying to keep me out of the hospital, but I’m starting to feel crappy and just kind of weak feeling. I cry nearly everyday, which is very abnormal for me, and I feel like I can’t eat so my body’s starting to feel like shit. 

My therapist brought up the prospect of ECT today. I’m 25 and the thought that I’m already having to escalate to even having that kind of conversation was terrifying to me. I know it has advanced over the years, but it’s still kind of scary. She also said if I don’t seem better next week she’s probably going to hospitalize me. I’m so exhausted from it all and tired of going several nights with no sleep that I don’t care anymore, but I think that means I probably don’t need to go then. I also read relapses happen within a year for most people even with successful ECT treatments. I’m just feeling so worthless.

Has anyone had ECT treatments? Did it actually help? Or just any advice in general? 

Thanks ",4.363037288625524,5.405855252782196,5.349615190056369,82.17026466974998,70.39904610492846,8.70705304234716,30.511670761670764,9.033387906413283,2.4649456279809216,2490,102,500,47,44,819,252,629,0.146,0.762,0.09300000000000001,-0.9904,6,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,0,9,33,28,6,2,22,0,46,12,5,6,5,113,101,57,0,7,24,1,8,4,0,0,6,3,1,0,24,42,1,6,20,1,0,15,17,12,0,0,25,12,61,16,86,73,11,78,1,2,1,0,13,31,2,16,36,328,85,11,0.06651502594376398,0.0,0.06490907041326954,0.0,0.0,0.06499771353626516,0.058961557212132164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340098512984189,0.10638408443202214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04523249853918816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319300652311491,0.04650885269126507,0.0,0.0,0.17763742528309395,0.0,0.0,0.0624930564149283,0.10229189844646026,0.0,0.16218776978067287,0.0,0.1131987760299903,0.0,0.0,0.05882713516100992,0.07261718108990796,0.0738831990842905,0.0,0.0,0.06791927831431288,0.0,0.13563300388753086,0.0,0.0,0.057296805207653165,0.06973973920071021,0.0,0.2238067724501602,0.0,0.07359761107076189,0.07306363269422507,0.08579337816584859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808094753641916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806147703490151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786509463541202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26905596536063003,0.09503669564911116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120808833286184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732738000473879,0.0,0.058819017772823924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496726840346027,0.0,0.04458361981353292,0.0,0.0667199943253152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13201179962462525,0.11824322247930225,0.0,0.2077954917374032,0.1462196749619436,0.0,0.0,0.07042980846287666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998352748954733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309739291510225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245436280079201,0.147766398168581,0.0,0.06703150165025018,0.0,0.0,0.07790159448207476,0.05309165911794919,0.07069494608355127,0.0,0.04932004892846754,0.051300488529111066,0.0,0.07073948468771002,0.062419845996793365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18445257586636904,0.0,0.06949404510961868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14342889588961633,0.0,0.0,0.13373194529384527,0.0,0.07074691758757135,0.06653302585442565,0.0,0.08522245766831073,0.0,0.0,0.07141224531004113,0.0,0.05680346872404717,0.12654204292039392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05300386394774021,0.06055278148953708,0.0,0.07514304656704207,0.13655343656933394,0.165065750423982,0.0,0.13312612460003867,0.06780369251493397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415935542791168,0.0,0.2124759425586065,0.055609540034691936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06268962477899942,0.069134580104137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06123809931344764,0.0,0.15445814353177342,0.08837925534712032,0.08524028573146156,0.0,0.15841650239655733,0.0,0.15289847513352575,0.06304846719684437,0.0,0.0,0.09031867290968502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05744762623782849,0.0,0.05488186242065087,0.03923228564652997,0.0,0.1600630250627153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060019465163780185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04842373107719576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566699185399164
bipolarreddit,tomatosoup04,2019/02/25,"Seroquel - maybe bipolar? Hey guys.

This subreddit is new to me, I didnt think I was bipolar. 

I had a ""mental health consult"" with my new GP today. He thinks I MIGHT be bipolar. He's prescribed me 25mg Seroquel to take an hour before bed, daily. Only until I get an actual psychiatrist to weigh in on it (appt isnt until june).

I hadn't heard about the drug until today, I've only ever been on citalopram 20mg for depression, it didnt help and made me suicidal.

I dont have problems sleeping. Actually, I told him I sleep too much, if anything. It seems that a lot of people that are prescribed seroquel do. I'm reading all of these horror stories about being crazy high and hallucinations that I've kind of scared myself from taking it.

I dont know if I should be taking it given he doesnt know what my actual diagnosis is. Should I be terribly concerned about the side effects?

Any advice? I'm really new to this. ",2.4577627772420456,4.552360530054647,4.470530376084864,82.18423336547734,77.5792349726776,6.71025393764063,24.42590806814529,7.724431198458867,1.4296675666988103,719,25,136,11,17,246,112,183,0.138,0.8490000000000001,0.013000000000000001,-0.9707,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,1,5,5,0,1,6,0,22,8,2,2,2,19,37,7,1,5,2,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,1,1,12,3,1,0,6,1,0,0,7,4,0,0,10,1,19,1,19,20,3,16,0,1,0,0,10,5,0,5,11,87,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.3656751050406994,0.0,0.0,0.12205816317837805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494138312390884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278822952574518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628708245677124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758264654801357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927813190035154,0.0,0.14485304426006146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112985984657397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652590132779738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367806273002405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327708313481813,0.0,0.0,0.08372286417808752,0.13197163143512053,0.0,0.0,0.12300872660209193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13007193975658862,0.13729179055226684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10619188959453592,0.0,0.1181904964466868,0.0,0.0,0.12548637225702622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587738123977224,0.13250711831808387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182138439329712,0.0,0.0,0.3619093249609339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18999556428909573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659513303959486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11951960818119893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249413015422414,0.0,0.08001894281048276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250541975881876,0.0,0.0,0.11371109661928085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499954130028048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662853147238654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817446847557989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16007136465465496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23679540951745426,0.11935446885112745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tragiccity,2019/02/25,"That darn Facebook This is just a vent, FYI.  

  

After fiiiinally finding the right med combination about two years ago, I'm finally getting my shit together, getting things done, and living the kind of ""normal"" life I've always wanted. For the first time ever, I'm really proud of myself. I usually just lurk on Facebook, but I felt the need to do a little bragging and let people know that my life is changing, and I'm happy about it. Like most people, my Facebook friends list is an assortment of old classmates, former coworkers, family, and some randoms I can't quite place. A handful of these are people I speak to in real life on a regular basis. I got ZERO replies or feedback from anyone. I'm a little hurt and annoyed - c'mon, guys, I give you courtesy likes for pictures of your average kids and stupid dogs - but not too terribly surprised. 99% of these people only ever knew me when I was un-/improperly medicated and a total fucking mess. It's kind of a relief, though, too, because now I no longer feel obligated hand out those courtesy likes for dumb fucking shit that I don't care about. I already knew, on an intellectual level, that these people aren't really my friends (at least not anymore) and give as much of a shit about me as I do about them (so, none), but I feel like now that I've ""confirmed"" that, I can just relax and go about my business. I'm still proud of myself for what I've accomplished so far, and not having that recognized on social media doesn't change that. I guess it's just hard knowing that no matter how much positive change I make in my life, the people who only ever saw the old me will never really SEE the new me. Vent over.",5.392117057349251,6.1590462538699695,6.263679787704557,77.5502683178535,67.88544891640868,8.753000147427391,29.31284092584402,8.841846274778883,2.3218655167330087,1312,45,241,21,21,434,176,323,0.124,0.68,0.195,0.9824,0,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,0,2,1,5,23,26,8,0,17,0,16,12,5,2,5,46,43,21,0,3,11,0,6,4,2,1,5,1,0,2,20,11,0,0,8,1,0,1,11,11,0,3,7,9,30,15,34,34,7,35,0,1,2,2,12,15,7,5,23,164,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881419817799724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811545118576406,0.0,0.07398103814809416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817577756091187,0.06216860792622361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054199293717564524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065064555036337,0.0,0.2821680077733989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098677751748037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412751506593994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381733672522733,0.0,0.08991210195912933,0.06351800494449827,0.0853684611458831,0.09739760669118472,0.08126300329853359,0.0756276140068457,0.0,0.0,0.1373847685652525,0.16439349281076798,0.09290461000256488,0.17058298187021406,0.05053014541791192,0.0,0.07111021392189497,0.0,0.09794544227202813,0.08803582529559811,0.0,0.09464736627167282,0.07964675295136565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518101761708317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517415799545447,0.09772627271792698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091747671623472,0.2512017513703869,0.17374960872519796,0.17822427191369658,0.07851000333531326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05934875373376615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09876002890669117,0.08956843456316473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13071956620947134,0.06592634750828685,0.06857361068356395,0.08587075563178828,0.0,0.0,0.0871138595885124,0.0,0.0,0.1865941844039967,0.0,0.0,0.1352415774914375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3698379729813885,0.0,0.09289302559894352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456774628879673,0.0,0.10120013335257932,0.17087590589883947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592947087723008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085052082914171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737974568651884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063352312500346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100440455050018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059068488648384175,0.0,0.08735456313714522,0.0,0.051844693620299885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868530850358499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792285711689096,0.0,0.05244198562797076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057255740795666275
bipolarreddit,Kimi147,2019/02/25,"How i solved my bipolar disorder. Hello,

Let me get straight to the point. Bipolar and many other mental disorders does not exist. There are only consequences of poisoning your body/mind.

I tought i have bipolar disorder for 2 years, went to psychiatrist, gave me many drugs. Those drugs only destroy you, no drug cant help you.

​

How i fixed my bipolar disorder?

\- Stopped eating sugar  
\- Started meditating  
\- Cold showers  
\- Minimize meat consumption

\- Never eat processed meat

\- Dont ever ever take any drug, even for a headache, NOTHING.

\- Stop smoking if you smoke cigarettes (i had biggest improvement when stopped smoking)

\- Dont drink so much alcohol

​

And many more things you can do to stop all mental disorders, but these are main that helped me. Im now 1.5 years free of all ""bipolar"" and other disorders. I feel like a god and i have a will to live and achieve my dreams, you can all do it to!!

​",3.5177710843373475,6.597901921686753,3.7831445783132582,82.72254819277111,80.98795180722891,6.934457831325301,29.986746987951808,8.07648339933343,2.6707720481927724,733,36,122,15,20,227,105,166,0.1,0.784,0.11599999999999999,0.7905,1,0,8,0,0,0,54.0,0,6,0,1,9,4,2,0,4,0,14,15,0,2,6,21,20,11,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,11,0,1,0,7,5,5,4,1,2,1,1,6,2,0,0,3,3,19,3,9,15,6,16,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,1,13,78,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356820200578978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541773958453337,0.28505166234220136,0.05317625348086025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5377192964725209,0.0,0.06843022234887876,0.0,0.1832912658259889,0.0766027311478367,0.3627321296527921,0.16002893812969682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0516480041491016,0.14146629449539025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0395384642586096,0.0558635448077462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04085440693752464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10482683667119316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08446556235689674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799611470603112,0.0,0.038202825564301636,0.0,0.06904887980992015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378367180752255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576072177338706,0.0,0.07895610242599421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05748337302606405,0.0,0.0603099070318333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503158300552695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189438164921078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392090112911362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05534783522394951,0.0,0.0,0.261502865624535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05879398326413775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05195023309088792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248887349625563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28505166234220136,0.10071187356196866
bipolarreddit,POISUNBPOET,2019/02/25,"Shocked, Embarrassed & Ashamed Hello everyone, my first time ever using Reddit. I was first diagnosed with severe depression at the age of thirteen. In 2017, I was told that they have misdiagnosed me and I am bipolar with insomnia and anxiety. I was told that my medication is very important to keep me regulated and without it could be dangerous for my life. I refuse to take the medication because of the feeling zoned out like a zombie, incapacitated and no ambition. The breakup I experienced in 2017 seemed to have an impact on my mental health causing me to have rages of anger and outbursts verbally and physically (breaking things, throwing and punching anything). Recently, I have been going through overwhelming troubling events that caused me to lose everything, facing homelessness, out of my control, no family support, no job, no money, pushed away friends, and no where to go. The person that I've been dating could relate to having bipolar and understand, but I managed to destroy it. Rages are heightened and outburst increasing. I've done something that brought me so much shame, embarrassment and shock. Two days ago on Instagram, I uploaded seven videos of me and in those videos I was having a manic tantrum attack. At that moment and in the mindset I was in didn't realize that I just showed my mental illness for the world to see, I just snapped. My inbox and notifications were sounding off rapidly like a person ring the doorbell. I snapped out of that trans and watched the videos and I  immediately removed them. I turned my phone off for the day. Throughout the day my mania were in and out and I haven't slept since that day.  Well this is who I am and wanted to share. Thanks!",6.2786445012787695,8.26170818300654,6.257519181585677,73.8957928388747,66.84313725490196,9.243307757885765,34.872975277067354,9.653516015845867,3.65027127024723,1368,66,224,30,23,432,172,306,0.198,0.7390000000000001,0.063,-0.9905,2,0,1,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,2,4,7,24,7,5,15,0,26,11,2,4,1,43,43,21,0,3,4,0,1,2,1,0,9,2,0,2,15,25,0,3,4,4,1,7,8,17,1,4,15,6,35,7,40,25,2,41,0,3,2,0,12,19,0,1,16,167,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755888945727694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314697622344826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09282330137700168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985090363315696,0.0,0.0,0.13803958634533184,0.11400112318264152,0.0,0.0,0.0739665691765862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492952707056399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13609097766956246,0.1937571718094383,0.0,0.0,0.31301210193980794,0.0,0.10450831308827148,0.12315560009701144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417098659018805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975724280859782,0.0,0.11594373813448712,0.10905084507439687,0.0,0.1143867458382506,0.0,0.061352180565564886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064202228260652,0.0,0.0,0.09374550193260033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13791845761066462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289767082029646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204093246027736,0.1078508633173154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857046764153491,0.11855931665962155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13574627779583678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444707064146798,0.2445604972818124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08919745234274871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21189546769270054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980671862572738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669074245533099,0.11046163362224813,0.0,0.13707749627624227,0.0,0.1003721161296056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341198433471708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13769301866548914,0.0,0.0,0.09123113770420953,0.0,0.0,0.1117118045395442,0.0,0.0,0.08061163074439102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075321197150733,0.0,0.0,0.2318874762689743,0.0,0.0,0.1319809911948386,0.11852967597661145,0.12631722361888728,0.0,0.10479714533092656,0.0,0.1001166260259089,0.07156834511391011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909750873370684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696558205107455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,honourarycanadian,2018/11/09,"Therapy sucked last night. My boyfriend told me that he wouldn’t try to communicate with me in front of God and country (aka during our session at therapy, in front of my therapist) because he had tried so many different ways already and he was tired.

This was a session where we were supposed to be working on our communication. At that point, we had just compromised and agreed to step away from a heated situation, and my therapist asked how he could make sure that I’m okay and that I won’t worry and make it worse. He just literally shut that whole conversation down, and even my therapist was shocked.

Sure is great to be in a relationship right now. 🙃 I haven’t spoken to him since last night, because I don’t need that way of thinking in my life.",6.037275494672755,6.539093808219178,6.254474885844751,79.11464992389655,66.39726027397259,10.050532724505327,32.660578386605785,9.994966539143718,3.0046843226788438,600,24,120,13,9,192,91,146,0.09300000000000001,0.809,0.09699999999999999,-0.1027,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,4,0,0,1,7,6,1,0,3,1,14,2,0,3,2,21,22,9,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,10,0,0,1,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,7,0,15,4,19,10,1,23,0,0,0,0,14,13,1,0,5,74,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14964994564911635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12677783905167755,0.0,0.12741085803409746,0.0,0.0,0.16533423147996226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827422932908227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14168447542216353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956968774590747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495114413696062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22108188571188456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957859541622218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18104259142192175,0.1374881173917859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10055372728991092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545231932329642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819608697591814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455953024393971,0.0,0.1158109253192969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217869685619354,0.1524322777778263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556232433214748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101656521850197,0.4723639487338941,0.0,0.08689395724228645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15586472343041008,0.0,0.12958197908040486,0.0,0.1841417314512247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21528316184357166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15140467158488233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872631424511484,0.13771940133941848,0.13819904216773896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,shrt_kt,2018/11/09,"How many other people have had a drastic change in mood over a short time period? So for the longest time I was even keel, everything was fine. I was on 100mg of Depakote XR, 200mg of Lamictal at night and 100mg of Lamictal in the morning. 

Over the past two months or so my regimen stopped working. I'm cycling and I have racing thoughts. 

I was bumped up to 1500mg of Depakote XR and added 20mg of Latuda and later, 40mg. The 40mg made me projectile vomit. Last night my psychiatrist recommended Rexulti 1mg and gave me samples.

I'm devastated. I'm tired and so, so bitter. I was diagnosed in 2012 so I know the disease and in medicine so I have some knowledge that way too so I know that brain chemistry changes but it still sucks. It always will.

Who else has had this happen? What worked? ",0.8499068322981387,3.3127452173913063,2.6476366459627343,90.41828726708077,87.50931677018633,5.952919254658386,23.57795031055901,7.365786028017652,1.1666121739130435,624,25,130,11,20,206,98,161,0.083,0.898,0.019,-0.8592,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,11,4,2,0,7,0,12,4,1,2,0,17,22,17,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,8,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,10,2,12,1,16,11,1,22,0,0,0,0,2,10,1,2,11,77,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15761847213453378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114632241525083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4007773828158437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922644584004113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15824198534454886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251147735265728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17024480941037504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167509706061055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082082947034076,0.15440832025750767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17924044559638455,0.0,0.1920492870184658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511988562524142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3555288901859261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18082954399224,0.1313248585895951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512766790007594,0.15836948759293254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15038391071721405,0.22091286095111906,0.21771851687256413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850426934550129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15035836741193545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758102826690982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,obliviously_willful,2018/11/09,"I don't know who's in charge here but I'm starting to think it's not me and it's not fun anymore For a couple of weeks I've felt like... 
Ha ha... This is a fun game fuck you sleep everything is exciting and I am so funny plus did you know I can do anything?

Then as I'm finishing decorating a cake at 4 AM...
When was the last time I fed my cats...? I can't even find their food, what day is it anyway, I don't remember, when was the last time I ate or showered... why am I screaming at a chocolate covered coffee bean

I thought I was in control but it's like I blinked and now I'm not or maybe I never was

Trying to work but can barely focus enough to write a shitty little reddit post. But feeling massively agitated and thought it might make me feel better but yeah not really",-0.5524999999999984,1.5702520833333369,2.069285714285716,94.4757142857143,90.66666666666666,5.104761904761905,19.30952380952381,6.655083550727371,0.14533809523809538,602,19,139,8,21,207,102,168,0.138,0.721,0.14,-0.33,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,2,1,3,7,10,1,0,7,3,18,5,1,2,1,31,34,17,0,0,11,0,3,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,8,5,3,1,10,1,0,0,8,2,0,0,10,4,18,8,11,23,1,19,0,0,0,1,6,5,1,3,15,87,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736854116676843,0.0,0.0,0.1441199808875318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15489138385202816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964271567612527,0.0,0.19378193066435825,0.0,0.11294664471657173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809597627304399,0.0,0.1156740512955377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573987328710805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17710555976543954,0.0,0.16815566278751265,0.0,0.16006888253985735,0.0,0.21177217146521268,0.0,0.0,0.1619081354547879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924976266416947,0.2855144193524244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17112280239144054,0.1755298160831074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690299773191574,0.0,0.1759451802484698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18578900957410685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13507378251228602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16772951971958153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11219503012841364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19839216031826307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17526001911975073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239604208578788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221850070338957,0.0,0.2780729359452023,0.20424355085513876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11890417743759148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404815617126862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580307793645226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12749930278427907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fennias,2018/11/09,"I'd soon as die, but hear me out... I got 3 kids, yes they are of advanced age, but fuck all that means.  

I raised them; they claim my bi-polar, gad, ptsd is under control with Latuda and a host of minor medications, he is wrong. They are wrong. If my family dies, i will follow them so quickly. I feel pain waking and i feel pain breathing. I'm close to another visit to a mental facility. However, is that nothing but good food and people like us?",0.7695604395604398,2.9811343626373628,3.1304285714285736,88.82707142857143,84.49450549450547,5.837802197802197,18.99010989010989,7.1686216300943375,0.40520131868131815,341,9,72,5,10,117,67,91,0.263,0.6509999999999999,0.086,-0.9682,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,5,2,3,7,1,0,2,1,6,7,2,1,1,15,14,9,2,1,4,0,2,1,0,1,3,1,0,1,2,6,1,1,3,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,1,3,14,2,8,12,1,9,0,0,0,1,10,3,1,1,4,43,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899049351500648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031252473997232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3759178867353247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17073017216512007,0.0,0.18314479136378628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189935212142384,0.0,0.0,0.16742914071833226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519027229211756,0.14484663364315126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20411909042732926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08847901213003748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972770109855937,0.0,0.18244476442457533,0.18251177398102375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17377563687554667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3854180976283034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12555576858621195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21170266857899692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21784764913795635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3960209250551479,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,carelessfunction,2018/11/09,"Feeling really down Never post on reddit and not that good at english but I have to rant. I have been diagnosed with BP2 and Anathodia and I fucking hate myself. I'm ranting here since I hate putting my problems on even my psychiatrist or my closest friends that actually care and listen, because everytime I think about putting my problems to them I get really anxious and even have had a couple panic attacks because I dont want to ruin happy peoples lives. I'm really sorry im sharing my problems to you even. I'm pretty sure one day the bubble I've been gathering all of this is going to explode.  I don't see the point of giving anything on any aspect of my life since I'm going to kill myself regardless at some point. Today I tried to overdose on speed by continually injecting. ''Luckily'' I'm still alive. I used to have many friends, girlfriends and loved my personality and myself generally. Now the only time I feel anything is during hypomania and I can't even describe my feelings I feel during that time. That's also the only time I make any new friendships and then I fall to great depression everytime that I can't control and ruin those relationships I have managed by isolating myself and pushing everyone away. I have pushed everyone important for me away for the past 5 years and I hate myself for that. I actually used to love life even though i have had BP2 symptoms all my life since i remember, from what, 13-14 years old? But I never really understood it. The older I get the less I enjoy my life.",3.800144394854293,6.036291866894202,5.357218430034131,76.72574100813863,74.01706484641639,8.057180362299817,29.35796797059596,8.841846274778883,2.7175430296665795,1219,53,211,26,26,411,152,293,0.166,0.63,0.204,0.9353,0,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,1,1,1,13,24,6,1,8,0,17,9,0,4,5,40,46,18,1,5,4,0,4,0,3,0,6,1,0,1,10,13,0,1,7,0,0,7,7,13,0,1,5,6,43,11,30,41,4,38,0,3,1,3,13,12,1,2,18,142,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.1676348411918314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868716107608369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681792176423515,0.0,0.0,0.09703260728997697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14136227729546988,0.0,0.0,0.09771363889901234,0.16139521828010994,0.0,0.0,0.10471695580192064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757180206978102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963342835304496,0.0,0.0950369783867922,0.0,0.05539271796905375,0.0,0.07397796412911105,0.08717775932887316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006638459356427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836516355058866,0.0,0.0,0.16414544350100554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17371668450101366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13271865508685,0.07940502975230516,0.08974921324740859,0.08239466489244186,0.09762789589040932,0.07204146292134338,0.0,0.0946953504887461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143277883183017,0.0,0.2543993316983925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277723428495724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502588622361434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426699767776964,0.0,0.0,0.07584350261199373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15504032163121828,0.0,0.057333042511804974,0.08708019496827439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13248917590233786,0.08295425553910303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012836524655904,0.0,0.0582020995506995,0.13064825499896998,0.0,0.10077481612619274,0.0,0.0,0.08199286855646773,0.05954614290790591,0.07499688228079827,0.0,0.0,0.16238989172019538,0.0,0.08226002644192251,0.0873822281666324,0.0,0.2465588337095263,0.0,0.17268875727902458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200964066538883,0.0,0.0,0.09221500420111972,0.09729798535722636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06844416549845106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21315026299373627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614816563879863,0.0,0.0,0.0685928227386367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08095143889208041,0.08927384326129333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05503561239885936,0.08438766725260909,0.0,0.15025154715184955,0.0,0.08141481397467927,0.0,0.0,0.05831448630165865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14836483776321854,0.0,0.0,0.050660854731668786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106222326355331
bipolarreddit,kday0,2018/11/09,"Confused and frustrated at the mood swings, BPD or BD2? 23F, it’s been a weird fucking rollercoaster this year. Just started using reddit and it has helped me figure things out through other people’s’ experiences and I’m grateful. But this last little bit has been weird and I’m hoping someone could throw some input.

Recently diagnosed with bipolar2, as I’ve predicted and pursued for treatment. Lows are horrible and last anywhere between 2 weeks to 2 months so far, hypomania can have spurts of full mania but also last between 2 weeks to 2 months of basically just being able to function as a human, gain a routine, focus on health and what needs to be done. I don’t have any thoughts of self destructive suicidal thoughts as I do with depressive state and I’m actually positive and content with my life. I bounced into hypomanic (functional) from September until now. The other day I had about 36 hours of complete depression and lack of motivation to do anything for myself, slept through alarms, slept through 2 mandatory classes at school, was woken up at 5pm from roommate. The next day, I carried on as functional, woke up and began my day as routine from before, went to meetings and appointments with no concern and was productive afterwards. Today was a complete write off. Got woken up again at 5pm, have been antisocial and just absolutely empty.

I’ve been frustrated, been forcing myself to just fight it because I CANT be useless right now in the more important time of the semester. I need to get things done. Tomorrow I have no idea what to expect and I’m slowly feeling like I lost the grasp of what I know about bipolar and been reading into BPD. I do fall into many of the signs and symptoms of it. Can someone explain or at least relate to this a bit so I feel less alone in the timeline?",6.837175260636798,7.602541920118345,7.025604395604397,73.35987179487182,64.71005917159763,9.988391096083404,36.50943927867005,9.957137785484203,3.801360495914341,1451,69,246,30,21,468,189,338,0.16,0.7609999999999999,0.079,-0.9825,0,1,0,0,1,0,33.0,0,0,0,3,12,17,5,2,13,0,30,8,2,2,0,54,56,30,1,6,8,0,2,1,0,0,5,0,0,2,14,25,0,0,10,1,0,3,4,14,0,0,23,2,17,2,58,29,8,50,0,5,0,1,7,22,1,5,25,171,31,4,0.11164142967277063,0.0,0.108945930890783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562685184744548,0.0,0.08927961097437709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592000052523343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187138415439634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805557931023437,0.0,0.09499863387169516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437670526517739,0.0,0.2812169449586701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341078298896283,0.0,0.0,0.08913659724789554,0.0,0.0,0.21599845882169386,0.0,0.1923131995747359,0.11331370108422947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284958872634469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092067405307527,0.0,0.0,0.1128985225843708,0.07975665966523976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321070276644556,0.05832803917393984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928984994800628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866961915354485,0.0,0.0,0.07483089700932044,0.0,0.0,0.11088513003433932,0.10994431977421466,0.0,0.0,0.1260295850590336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06135521007253573,0.2730079972993038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885564340719854,0.05454236331168213,0.11189404178804477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12186980852230035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318688687291605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17822224808687565,0.0,0.0,0.1655614109978811,0.0,0.0,0.11873192700139705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07739811036816283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116716414291631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023244327943067,0.0,0.0,0.09534117094213793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112987087080314,0.0,0.0,0.11646635923979493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18918684214321155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902037853767209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211760392474427,0.0,0.0,0.11603819216996272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14833921028173966,0.0,0.0,0.1772616493829459,0.06509901543878767,0.0,0.10582302144005104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09642235019077572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17910404155253787,0.0,0.0,0.1034927237942803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07189342040121298
bipolarreddit,Epiphan_y,2018/11/09,"Ativan? Anyone? I'm sorry for the formatting. I'm on mobile. 

I was just subscribed 2mg of Ativan for 3x a day. Those who have been on it, when does this high feeling go away, when can I not lose track of thought, and why is my eyesight blurry? ",0.08999999999999986,2.2777931960784343,2.0700980392156865,95.36044117647059,87.62745098039215,4.184313725490196,18.303921568627448,5.46131890053228,-0.4316431372549019,187,5,41,1,6,62,42,51,0.055999999999999994,0.8540000000000001,0.09,0.3814,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,5,10,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,1,3,0,7,7,0,8,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,26,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442166393323556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3281492304394655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252492727752077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30564719704709475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17660063582109306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19849732381947646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3690213210890621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3907420852543708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3909774638772716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772801562954871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31516047437516537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TanagerOffTrack,2018/11/09,"Anyone in psychology or law careers? I'm 31 and feel like maybe everyone is right and I'm smart enough to do an actual career. My self confidence in the ability to pull off such a thing - not school but the work following me, is not very high. 

I'd like to hear if others with bipolar have careers within my own interests. How does your bipolar affect it? 

",3.2433333333333323,5.182547428571431,4.805714285714289,81.38761904761904,74.71428571428572,8.666666666666666,25.952380952380953,9.2995712137729,2.3409523809523813,280,10,54,7,6,94,56,70,0.0,0.816,0.184,0.8888,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,2,4,0,0,4,0,4,2,0,2,0,12,9,6,0,1,5,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,4,4,8,9,2,8,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,2,2,34,7,5,0.0,0.0,0.2627068023591639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18823550998533234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355845046800821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781623752017029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572384372925767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361189427485222,0.1923212446411421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034153969311513,0.0,0.0,0.28443154717287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630414874895711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27045420763570394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299009604727374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27245144552027384,0.0,0.0,0.2808411894609704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788488990775897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221236337579296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19598560676643936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bipolar2019,2018/11/06,"Dry mouth on Lamotrigine/Lamictal 200mg Hi everyone. I recently increased my lamotrigine (generic) dose to 200mg. I have been experiencing an extremely dry mouth. I also had throat surgery a few months ago .. so I am not sure if this is the lamotrigine at work or b/c its the first winter after surgery.

​

Has anyone else suffered an extreme dry mouth from lamotrigine at 200mg? If so, did it eventually go away or did you have to drop your dose?

​

Also, if you did experience this and switched to a different medication, please let me know which one!

​

Thanks",4.078402718776548,6.9299440280373865,5.186813933729823,75.20107051826679,76.00934579439252,8.750722175021242,31.222599830076465,9.339509955726095,3.3842971962616826,469,23,82,13,11,154,73,107,0.077,0.855,0.069,-0.221,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,3,0,2,4,3,0,0,6,0,11,7,4,0,1,9,14,10,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,2,5,1,9,2,9,8,2,13,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,5,6,54,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896820655253522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146538241023075,0.0,0.4362462807447602,0.4892359806556712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938420736343332,0.13751301036158936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126093800693253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14021987043230846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211442245343332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12824247866872626,0.0,0.13128218311458698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141581315579966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627408406327005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737577725022233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13723782515409685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352014772723098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712436656712518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094351144824724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14732121169320636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13251522509916264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649042159073665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12356164240702645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977057715777368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4892359806556712,0.0
bipolarreddit,NurseFG,2018/11/06,"When is it time to go to the hospital I'm a few weeks now into starting medication. 250mg lithium twice a day and my next appointment is on the 12th. But I'm in a very severe dysphoric manic episode right now. I'm scared of the voices that get angry when I try to sleep. Constantly picking fights because I'm in a permanent state of irritability at everything. Bouncing between activities in an effort to find distractions. Getting close to crossing the line of self harm again. 

I'm worried about my job having already taken some time off recently. I want to do well and succeed but I spend my days trapped in my head unable to do much at all.",3.071190476190477,5.414084134920639,4.612936507936507,80.69178571428574,76.69841269841271,7.692063492063491,29.54761904761905,8.59863814320734,2.574885714285715,515,24,95,11,12,172,87,126,0.156,0.8059999999999999,0.038,-0.9144,1,1,0,0,1,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,7,6,1,2,9,0,5,3,2,1,1,11,16,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,4,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,4,1,1,1,1,7,2,21,15,4,28,0,0,0,0,2,11,0,1,14,59,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22474378916747892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414919865398295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22008402506591776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626876037203508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18303640657178935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18614147985584228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21280780785048076,0.0,0.11574462748893705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20901383671253068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202101048166955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051659461404562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14971347669095958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21659463840093907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20108960407826432,0.0,0.0,0.17392446131773384,0.0,0.0,0.20389911151342305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21246171609023434,0.2300777433053743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038070035904099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14415154161080046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375114775835392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13827171901299296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680407653271494,0.120123899131666,0.0,0.16336370551689205,0.0,0.18311472919745775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20682653752156874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kino-bee,2018/11/06,"Am i bipolar? Soo ive been doing these tests online because i feel like i am not myself since i left my job and they almost are all telling me that im bipolar , im 18 YO and i cant sleep at all, i usually sleep the day since i quit school for work but then quit work for no specific reason. Sometime when i try to sleep for more than 2 hours i have an energy boost and i feel like i can do anything, most of the time i start working out or go outside to run but i usually am no sport guy. Usually if i get a good 1-2 hours of sleep i am good for the day even maybe 2days. I dont have a lot of grandiose ideas about my self but id qualify myselfe as lowly narcissistic. My speaking rate usally goes up quite fast in conversations and i have a lot of probleme to focus on 1 subject or even remember what the person im talking to is saying. Most of the issues that i brought out came at me in a 2years period. So all of that just to ask if i should seek professional aid or anything. (Sorry for the bad english im french)",0.47200329082682296,2.325539131221724,2.904197860962565,92.13298128342251,83.02714932126696,6.190127519539285,21.81016042780749,7.348242739294969,0.6586271493212671,792,26,184,12,22,273,127,221,0.062,0.848,0.091,0.7227,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,6,6,6,0,0,11,0,17,6,4,1,3,32,25,16,0,4,10,0,2,2,0,1,2,2,0,3,5,7,0,0,5,1,0,4,5,2,0,0,3,4,28,4,27,21,8,26,0,0,0,0,10,9,0,10,15,116,33,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659449890258764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15876287336375092,0.0,0.09018057287250532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054319148142855,0.058803399008168784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032881741496883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12442226082441125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305478187214182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12742677763492727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754992813591623,0.13782742662359576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050398321425992015,0.0,0.0548225650030442,0.16181841257147211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551426608706584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899947005048154,0.0,0.0,0.10889581797955278,0.4167895588448827,0.10068307983661012,0.09572537482463506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048081329933049,0.0,0.0,0.0942546190972775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640200400156907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969107898805125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422841476538717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230276903156558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30780317621673625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918078811592114,0.0,0.0,0.1092746100540674,0.0,0.0,0.07671183579466655,0.0,0.09762645225701974,0.0,0.0,0.10063271612437033,0.0,0.0,0.15959160090209445,0.0,0.3861336096478034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540510291379313,0.10798325647770753,0.06827752986636455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775338981844246,0.08431355834649294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056248781050495016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06549254568551796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187235355355764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21068024923313985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,JasperDaVinci11,2018/11/06,"Thinking of Suicide on a consistent basis. I’ve written a note and have a plan. I just want to rethink a few things with someone who can help me. Suicide prevention doesn’t do much good.
I don’t have much to live for.",0.968,3.2551542444444483,2.6044444444444466,92.42000000000004,84.33333333333334,5.377777777777778,26.777777777777786,6.742157984588678,1.1795777777777778,171,8,36,2,5,56,34,45,0.192,0.6609999999999999,0.147,-0.6249,0,0,0,0,0,2,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,0,6,0,0,0,0,7,9,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,6,8,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,26,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255250878418922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20398064037021832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26872192594445177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4474234122804125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578510665533324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6657578097972939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20217803283524016,0.19499726739960835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794970166809423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dmtiger1302,2018/11/06,1st post Keeping it simple since its my first time posting on  any topic I relate too or have interest in. This one I relate 2. I've been reading alot of y'alls post. It's good too see I'm not only one who fights everyday NEVER GIVE UP through thick and thin!!!Peace ,1.5611111111111102,3.9955799259259273,2.7792592592592613,91.1666666666667,83.07407407407408,5.0814814814814815,21.962962962962962,6.42735559955562,0.4844296296296302,212,7,42,2,6,68,46,54,0.049,0.8290000000000001,0.122,0.6219,0,0,0,0,1,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,2,3,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,6,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,3,1,2,4,2,5,5,1,11,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,2,4,26,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16244475814147658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20318891271395365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291528766898255,0.0,0.20035894910088492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21232512350470534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18423690312908836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237388867068217,0.18167695388167127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6863352762107098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23894194754638826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903542837036684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19760177432187126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13929127693679766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dude_reddit_sucks,2018/11/06,"Been really unstable since I been back from camping. Current events personally affected me, and an LSD trip Had a fun vacation in the desert. Did Acid for the first time and really felt connected with people, and love, and also aware of my lack of connection, and loneliness, and isolation.  

Made me more sensitive in good ways, but I also feel more sensitive in bad ways.  

When I got back I found out about the different shootings and terrorist incidents. Then I found out one of my family members was affected, and I just completely lost it.  

My mind state has been very negative, angry, hopeless, and just venting on social media a lot.  

The few times I manage to socialize, i feel many times better, but I don't have a lifestyle where I'm able to socialize often.  

I been taking my meds, along with gabapentin, and so on...  

But I just feel heartbroken and bitter. Grief. I really want connection with people in person, but I cant get it, and it just created a void for anger and sadness to fill it in instead.  

I feel like I can do more with my current state, but I'm in a bad environment, and I dont really have any places to go and socialize.  

Idk I feel so lonely I want to hurt people, and I because I cant connect with people, I mad at them. I'm trying to change my environment, I've been for so long, but my minds so fucked up its hard to make progress anywhere.  ",4.826666666666668,5.723951910112362,6.016722846441947,78.34545880149813,69.2247191011236,10.277902621722847,29.44007490636704,10.380263240014207,3.0538973782771537,1068,39,208,29,18,358,140,267,0.29100000000000004,0.633,0.076,-0.9974,3,3,0,1,0,1,39.0,0,0,1,4,17,17,4,0,10,0,17,2,0,4,0,53,39,30,1,3,10,0,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,24,0,0,8,0,0,3,5,12,0,2,14,9,31,5,33,25,6,33,0,6,0,2,8,14,1,2,13,144,36,1,0.1052478305477514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16833330412808584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157213387436426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185817026070326,0.175755084605107,0.06415810062686421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308315324525718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133824935521083,0.0,0.11035034790554524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996158206355867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334967355702416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09921828782337386,0.0,0.2660823273420835,0.07518907117282449,0.10105442238969883,0.0,0.0,0.08952375089803817,0.0,0.23079762759594505,0.0,0.097299923400449,0.0549876475171896,0.0,0.059814767537493874,0.0882768868139553,0.0841763046613329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428138339006996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266997938877499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05141877373236392,0.0,0.0,0.09314101807867957,0.0,0.0,0.1148904398110764,0.08947794183366106,0.09499027621899844,0.09958804205036316,0.07025374415342203,0.10670478087521013,0.0,0.0,0.11690661331356242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125406121386593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07131865381441996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29186237505632256,0.18379669207245208,0.10996158206355867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696978210944592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706209303017114,0.0,0.0,0.4291476362863933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913327031778555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18411256911908036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145636829288135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684048264639076,0.12415579466865065,0.16708165801107358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,saltxburn,2019/10/22,Taking naps on lithium?? I'm on 450mg of lithium. Though I am getting enough sleep I keep taking naps on the medication for 3 hours at a time. I fall into a deep and heavy sleep. When I awake I'm disoriented and foggy-headed. Is this normal? I'm in college. I can't keep doing this. Will it go away on its own?,-1.2786567164179097,0.7575779253731376,1.8170298507462697,93.96882835820897,98.10447761194028,3.8740298507462687,15.655223880597012,5.6839178017228535,-0.6511779104477609,239,6,54,2,10,84,47,67,0.062,0.938,0.0,-0.5362,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,5,3,2,0,0,6,14,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,2,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,10,13,2,14,0,0,0,0,0,9,0,0,3,33,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22603749651665314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485885838184437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256957157279273,0.0,0.1367299812994282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24690958539529284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23692773081277174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42768594660859793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423640439099027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357221871013274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4815174301247416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3617799087468208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23637350902868534,0.0,0.14028702926838166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HastatusCatuvellauni,2019/10/22,"Worried about a friend, wondering if anyone can offer advice My friend went into a psych ward for a couple of months several years ago. I believe he was diagnosed with bipolar 1 at that time. Since then he's been on antipsychotic meds that (from my point of view) have been out effective and helpful, and have kept him very stable. However, his doctor (just a GP, not a psychiatrist) has been tapering the dosage off since the start of the year, to the point where he's now entirely unmedicated. 

I saw him today and he seemed really off, and not like his usual self. He didn't seem to recognise this though. It really reminded me of the time just before he went into hospital last time, so I'm really worried about him. He seemed confused, kept losing his train of thought, couldn't string a sentence together, and was just generally acting strangely and doing things that didn't make sense. 

I didn't point any of this out as I felt a bit scared and didn't want to provoke him. But there isn't really anyone else who knows him well enough to notice these things, and there isn't anyone else looking out for him. 

I want to talk to him and tell him that I don't think he's well, but I'm wondering if anyone has any advice on the best way to go about this. I think he's already losing insight and I'm worried he may react badly, possibly even violently based on the last time he was ill.",7.263516483516482,6.330531084249087,7.4457692307692325,76.4117307692308,64.16483516483518,10.876923076923077,31.22161172161173,10.125756701596842,2.806901831501832,1098,32,216,21,14,357,142,273,0.129,0.797,0.07400000000000001,-0.919,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,4,15,12,1,2,14,0,21,4,0,4,0,48,45,18,0,5,9,0,1,1,2,1,4,0,0,1,12,16,0,2,12,0,0,4,10,6,2,0,17,4,21,6,32,26,3,35,0,2,3,0,30,15,0,9,16,131,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18006150924482708,0.08166984961031126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167043918523573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12530643788471724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576845785248135,0.188801146140382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07692673949980329,0.0,0.0,0.07839792104861795,0.10380171059292967,0.09668731225641193,0.0,0.10058476300753487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194279310164683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093512487804048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09430145690729423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15392966383628615,0.0,0.0,0.0951974396606904,0.0,0.06085260807353065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846159124149247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14236259007712596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05236098916781357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0617544328443434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050633579864785824,0.15020047163218012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0450112566722744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736804592916396,0.20614526886035028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06149911949937505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10233837169926556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353923506675347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489339423655898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612848085203545,0.10386548358703293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23608960245574775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224064564294017,0.0,0.0,0.25162174092235273,0.09611422885126264,0.10408343338544296,0.0,0.15242581381671175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06521181563721551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405256581386853,0.08052781395827413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12241739930480375,0.11806949554235972,0.0905196550762699,0.07314286651764464,0.21489266801902773,0.0,0.08733078089510518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147086691267157,0.0760189123584761,0.10868420103265483,0.07313044291089375,0.0,0.0,0.16567625746415976,0.17081539088422332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998274033787693,0.0,0.280694896836184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866054209035795
bipolarreddit,bpcrossroads,2019/10/22,"Tips for anxiety/depression? The Dr gave me Buspirone to go along with my Latuda for anxiety. I started taking it and a week in was going batty with crying episode and incredible anxiety, severe depression. That was a week ago but it  feels like months have passed. 

The Dr mentioned that Buspirone without Latuda can work like that with Bp, but doesn’t usually if paired with a mood stabilizer. 

He gave me Lorazepem instead to take when needed but explained that it was addicting and to not take it too often. It calms me but I am very selective and a little hesitant when taking it. 

Anyone had similar experiences? What do you do for the anxiety and depression instead?",4.8857824143070046,7.460669426229511,5.758405365126678,73.53182563338305,71.95081967213116,9.354396423248883,31.582712369597612,9.800150414767053,3.7112032786885236,538,25,86,15,11,176,74,122,0.142,0.7859999999999999,0.07200000000000001,-0.7311,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,6,6,0,0,7,0,10,3,0,0,0,21,22,12,0,2,7,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,11,10,0,0,2,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,6,1,7,3,13,16,0,13,0,2,0,0,6,2,0,2,10,65,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175640112533601,0.0,0.0,0.14281952411884147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3697596673792993,0.0,0.0,0.11265598336865187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17697825066322914,0.0,0.0,0.4163066655962023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15760226585771256,0.0,0.0,0.08146504000032137,0.11510123110894005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831317577054724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574261808635344,0.16148045840455674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12860117419600722,0.0,0.0,0.1194653983126541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18201510711349836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140386632358493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4845564225320914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17744640149997726,0.13293749087176868,0.0,0.0,0.25847491313968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15530997810695224,0.0,0.11729429403673924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Lissybird,2019/10/22,"Anyone on strattera? Waiting for a call back by my psychiatrist , but I was prescribed 36 mgs of strattera 4 days ago and switched from seroquel to trazodone. I know strattera is not a stimulant like adderall but I have been feeling extremely wired but unmotivated, uncomfortable and short with family and friends. This doesn't feel at all like a normal hypomania epsiode My insomnia meds (200 mgs trazodone) aren't working now either. Lack of sleep is obviously is contributing to this all. Has anyone had similar effects? I'm hoping she'll call me in today to fix this.

Crossposted to /bipolar",5.485999999999998,8.428674409523811,5.924047619047617,71.29178571428572,71.57142857142857,8.771428571428572,36.214285714285715,9.3871,4.1537428571428565,483,27,73,12,10,155,78,105,0.14,0.774,0.086,-0.7127,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,3,0,11,3,1,2,3,21,17,6,0,3,5,0,2,2,1,1,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,2,7,4,13,13,4,9,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,7,49,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21007744488407576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3314180086091901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822307760687164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4839868253583154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15283902363883115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22341319639460172,0.0,0.2396586539023313,0.16930579123241632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18309798115941284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353846657466676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302435737800724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315628065400248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632426010671159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322000027839383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23716127444426335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246389260873384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17253163209125216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,JimmyL2014,2019/10/22,"Am I experiencing my first episode of mania? To be clear from the outset, I have not been diagnosed. 

Starting from about 7 weeks ago, it was like a switch was flipped. I went from sleeping 9-12 hours a night to not sleeping at all, punctuated with occasional naps lasting an hour or two. This has been constant for the 7 weeks, apart from crashing every 4-5 days and sleeping around 8 hours. Then the cycle starts again. 

I'm having trouble concentrating on the normal games I am playing, switching to a different game after an hour or two, but I'm having an immense amount of fun while doing so. This is different from before when I would spend a couple of weeks playing a game regularly before switching to another game from another two weeks. 

I have constant low-level anxiety going on, kinda like what happens when you've had too much caffeine. With that being said, the anxiety doesn't increase or decrease much. It's pretty much at a constant. 

I'm listening to much more music than I do normally. I am really drawn to high-energy music and music that makes me really happy, than the normal heavy metal that I listen to. I find it much harder to listen to slow or unemotive music. 

My creativity has shot through the roof and I'm writing much more than I usually do. Sometimes it's just out of boredom, but I'm doing a lot of writing in general. 

I don't have much money at the moment, so I can't comment much on my spending habits, but I really, really want to go out, to socialise with my friends especially. 

So yeah, I am wondering if I am experiencing my first manic episode. I'm scheduled to see my psychiatrist in about a month for unrelated stuff, and wondering if I should bring it up?",5.743053735255566,6.501784886850152,6.90181738750546,73.31440366972477,67.10397553516819,9.775972040192224,32.69681083442551,9.842372674337009,3.2657599825251205,1346,56,240,29,21,455,169,327,0.036000000000000004,0.8420000000000001,0.122,0.9821,2,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,2,11,8,0,0,19,1,29,4,3,1,2,39,51,20,0,8,12,0,0,2,1,2,1,4,0,0,12,10,0,0,3,7,3,5,5,1,0,5,7,7,24,7,47,40,14,48,0,0,1,0,12,13,0,10,32,173,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234694394045682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17116129138973524,0.12487079803399237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726548249194856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13889703547186702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645910869074486,0.0,0.0,0.09030565836535187,0.0,0.05263504742841076,0.0,0.0,0.08283770259371158,0.0,0.17054101090486956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876431987544906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07459480753448126,0.13884368241739584,0.0,0.0,0.06305569541680471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092767589656793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217204535716748,0.08688089024650153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623093206166144,0.0,0.0,0.3214980986828561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06652727507674724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974612121111115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693863182378527,0.0,0.0,0.05447877487271629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06514446815054217,0.0,0.4799724591307275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659032957448336,0.23989668086909735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303199215681085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20913912925381756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776347379389504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.065036741819053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450224026172981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08071951246516297,0.0,0.11553530691368825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934298693659054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391785523194687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988760424010568,0.0,0.04813875522509888,0.0,0.26186713849250104,0.0,0.0,0.07565810129095588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17701639000184488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05797709123247119,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,anonTwat1,2019/10/22,"Psych advised me to go from 500mg to 1g Depakote (sodium valporate) a week ago - still feeling super fatigued and tired, does it get better? So as in the title, went from 500mg -> 1g Depakote a week ago today upon psych's recommendation, and still struggling with the effects of this stuff, most inconveniently the serious fatigue and tiredness, feeling like I've barely slept no matter how long I actually have.

I take it every night shortly before bed as advised, but my sleep's disjointed (with lots of waking in the night to go to the bathroom etc. due to GI distress and struggling to go back to sleep), I feel really tired all day, and sometimes by the time the evening rolls round I legitimately feel like I'm going to pass out.

Last night I slept for about 12 hours (as luckily I didn't have work today), which is quite frankly ridiculously for me (as someone who, unmedicated and not having an episode, needs ~7 hours of sleep to feel fully rested and refreshed)... and I *still* feel really tired, like I've only slept ~4 hours on a regular night.

I'm still pushing myself through this as much as possible, but it's quite frustrating in terms of uni work, my part-time jobs and keep up with personal projects and activities etc. besides.

I know it's different for everybody but does anyone else have experience on this stuff, and if you experienced this side effect did it get better, and roughly how long did it take etc.? Thanks in advance for any responses. If it keeps getting in the way of work and my life/ability to function this severely (cause I only feel crazier on this shit) I'm gonna have to consider other options I think or med-free.",6.500852764823449,6.9071883924050645,6.841252498334445,75.63685876082614,65.39240506329114,9.817188540972687,33.72018654230513,9.682069395223575,3.148806329113924,1316,54,242,25,19,427,173,316,0.133,0.784,0.083,-0.9392,2,0,0,0,0,0,51.0,0,1,0,11,11,16,3,3,12,0,9,13,8,5,1,46,39,28,0,3,7,0,9,3,0,1,5,0,1,1,18,17,0,2,11,0,0,8,3,9,0,0,7,10,17,7,45,31,9,47,0,2,1,0,5,13,1,6,28,139,35,9,0.0,0.0,0.07671047387108104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13936323429444372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05345641795857182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05496483167039607,0.0805436109230313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060445019109350163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06688997158332224,0.0,0.0,0.13904551046402502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075249613293663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05069592471592136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212906297433763,0.0,0.0,0.13758150781330628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566724411897552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26300748655615364,0.0519201168904117,0.0,0.0662309801903138,0.0,0.0,0.07689411387404982,0.0,0.0,0.2782274366369797,0.11231573510402093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12320895755591108,0.0,0.17869989564328814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23224036364704256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800672264526047,0.13974154260228985,0.0,0.0,0.04320112922659073,0.06407635014356826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055523448408911116,0.11521230306110786,0.0,0.0,0.13913194764433773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683006357095916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731622832960335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05778622999936967,0.0582871438546161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950746904793166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957048403717142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512525336751779,0.0,0.0,0.06863783611701903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861917704828133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16721945141126074,0.0,0.0,0.10071712736865494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880513422198237,0.08069040860749073,0.0,0.0,0.2359955558830921,0.0,0.06660465513635329,0.0,0.07774573268135715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511071278035623,0.0,0.0,0.16435716664497615,0.17997565709556798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11820749064047,0.0,0.0,0.072372067376558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050369098415173216,0.0,0.0,0.04583719907681935,0.27104642864968576,0.14902317240785826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062395701094572424,0.12610985823320292,0.0,0.0,0.07287078846870265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17168358754270927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,137274747738383838,2019/10/22,"Manic or normal self? So I might have bipolar disorder not sure of the specifics. I have had multiple manic episodes, it is something I struggle with everyday. It's increased especially when I don't sleep. Im on medication so I get confused can you have an episode if you're on medication? When I'm manic I don't see myself as manic just as normal. I need a reality check from my therapist (whom I will see today). Ive just always been a hyper and social person and overall bubbly. So being manic is just confusion to me. Can someone please help? Maybe offer some friendly insight?",2.348495879120879,5.071842187500003,4.521785714285713,77.98859890109892,82.48214285714286,6.6604395604395625,27.365384615384606,7.882392219407189,2.274956593406594,463,21,78,9,13,159,78,112,0.11699999999999999,0.789,0.094,-0.34,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,0,8,5,0,3,4,0,15,4,1,0,1,18,20,11,0,4,6,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,3,0,0,2,2,13,2,8,15,2,7,0,0,2,0,8,2,0,6,4,56,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15655058307085098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156289151843838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14535931207730873,0.0,0.09829728826430524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610871818382888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20322742033923624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18901557788576187,0.0,0.0,0.3790698537519245,0.0,0.19959067341248504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13950612752275535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36868164744685145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16427977226179535,0.0,0.2065252218310543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2998522492877817,0.0,0.1962748525310141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18827951835570364,0.19178875082263586,0.1594134983906125,0.14484216845340625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19668858630681496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17732315719023595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184492710025902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783381747579812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Indicagirlxo,2019/10/22,"Why does my bi polar boyfriend hold grudges? My bi polar (manic) boyfriend has been in the pysciatrict Ward for over two weeks now.  He has been very upset with a few people in there especially one patient.  Over something I see as silly. He is now isolating himself in his room to avoid her. He says he doesn't want to participate in any activities there now because he can't stand to see her. Months leading up to this, he started to argue and hold grudges with almost everyone he came in contact with! His wcb worker, me, my son, my family, his family, our landlord.. The list goes on.  I tell him to let things go and focus on yourself, you are only hurting yourself more by doing this.  Has anyone ever experienced this? I don't know what he needs to do to move on from these events.",3.929254385964912,5.614861486842109,4.721052631578949,83.77570175438599,72.28947368421053,7.171929824561403,27.14035087719298,7.793537801064563,1.5999719298245614,614,22,118,8,12,198,99,152,0.079,0.9129999999999999,0.006999999999999999,-0.8740000000000001,0,1,1,0,0,0,22.0,1,1,0,2,6,5,1,2,3,0,13,2,0,1,1,15,21,3,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,6,6,0,3,1,0,0,4,3,4,0,2,3,4,17,1,26,17,2,25,0,1,2,2,22,12,0,1,8,77,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992805183114604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13533413384630855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915294309255913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213151055800919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22761528005148626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741556477616293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18001661625965612,0.0,0.19016329930830808,0.0,0.0,0.3752192457433368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310239499236854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21304512308976814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10937110319651698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035019744792569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15884848136271187,0.21151693150976247,0.0,0.14756394889857682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348548341174491,0.15135664255782458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13796899572642754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15826133549490634,0.0,0.0,0.31717160225674096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532081975433745,0.0,0.0,0.14086083260825166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17394416658154602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221389884113768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19440458460561466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16420471020711302,0.11738169608703185,0.0,0.1596344188895897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17957624703887665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,crazymonkeys22,2019/10/22,"Can you be (hypo)manic and exhausted? Trying to figure out if I have bipolar disorder or if I’ve been misdiagnosed. The symptoms I associate with mania are starting to get stronger & worse, and actually look a hell of a lot more like Lyme disease from what I’ve read. I’m exhausted, have horrible tingling & numbness in my limbs, weird vision, dizziness, weird heart rate/beat at times, tinnitus, lock jaw, am sleeping 6-9 hours (but I wake up a lot). I’m so tired but not depressed? I’m just confused. Tested for Lyme with IGeneX & it came back positive by IGX standards but negative under the CDC guidelines. 

I suppose I’m just curious if anyone’s (hypo)mania looks like this? (It’s been 4 months of this. After I came off of 50mg seroquel/night my symptoms got a lot worse. Haven’t been able to find a medication I don’t have a terrible reaction to since so currently unmedicated).",4.229487394957984,6.215859158823534,5.6657142857142855,76.07000000000002,72.11764705882355,9.092436974789916,32.14285714285714,9.606745405546679,3.3552268907563025,707,34,127,18,14,238,115,170,0.20199999999999999,0.685,0.114,-0.9122,1,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,0,0,5,11,1,1,8,0,12,13,4,0,0,24,23,11,0,3,10,0,0,2,0,0,9,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,2,1,0,2,4,9,0,0,6,2,9,2,19,16,4,15,1,1,2,0,1,6,1,8,9,73,14,2,0.1392036653618731,0.0,0.13584269702304985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4524813397827372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733443946745528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10703902613381418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31842381778878737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989591299905228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15953946054469334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272296282537206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07272816973216964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133388768672922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16495701369333649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13708756993839671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13601575889415385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337920391299586,0.0,0.0,0.35503793496145025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402330478837322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11111103761141247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063321002721354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924133585067974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11515071047832764,0.0,0.13930419658420212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09852907082046734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893718168849985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117077671873131,0.1599941356470556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09451015121213376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837208550111782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,JJwatson913,2019/07/09,"First mixed episode I'm bipolar type 2 and suffer rapid cycling with hypomanic episodes, followed by its memos depression. 
I used to know my cycle of a month roughly of each.
I now however haven't been stable for more than a week at a time, for coming up nearly a year.
I have had my meds doubled but to be honest I don't think they are working at all. 
The episodes are happening almost daily, but tonight well tonight I'm experiencing my first ever mixed episode and I can't say it's very pleasant at all. 

So does anyone have any tips or anything helpful on how to help with would be really appreciated. 


Thanks",3.7632499999999993,5.693982158333334,4.725000000000001,82.56,73.25,7.133333333333333,29.5,7.908726449838941,1.99565,489,21,93,7,10,159,87,120,0.047,0.732,0.221,0.9784,2,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,3,5,6,0,0,5,0,12,1,0,2,3,18,21,7,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,6,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,2,1,2,2,3,9,4,17,16,5,18,0,2,0,0,4,6,0,2,10,62,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22217153347025675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15087973627462312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15513720566229228,0.0,0.18258074442179134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911220281501682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19109697466559586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19416061165213214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006948196613282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3774463382500632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19619959489541225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974306092689542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219343763273746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464484154751117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17709513700991622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213610073440727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17644054669207496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20426880169724074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421658348144753,0.0,0.0,0.12937463399881485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19162511416116546,0.0,0.1830666267775128,0.0,0.0,0.17797135384755694,0.0,0.1994884736581257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16152456774039836,0.0,0.0,0.15761063382271925,0.0,0.0,0.1428775057293412
bipolarreddit,RedootMaShoot,2019/07/09,"Hi, I’m having a child at 17 and I’m wondering if anyone has any tips/support I’m bipolar type 1 and this is really taking a toll on me mentally. I feel like I’ve just came out of a manic episode so I’m trying to figure out ways to cope with my new situation while being in the lower stage of my cycle. Thank you",0.054999999999999716,1.8199465000000004,3.481428571428569,87.91357142857143,84.0,6.285714285714287,18.57142857142857,7.447530270364453,0.4451428571428568,245,6,55,4,7,90,55,70,0.035,0.8859999999999999,0.079,0.4215,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,4,0,4,1,0,0,0,11,13,5,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,5,2,10,11,0,10,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,3,30,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19751279958212392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030861437478584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3321921078808788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14685789719477985,0.20749421795070166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189692833227938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29270060197236897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805139314470397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860667301713819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3264727455363729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3295939442283639,0.0,0.0,0.21837875880564064,0.0,0.0,0.267403058135472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19719332910030093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305420017972272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3149755953551113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,xxpandamoniumxx,2019/07/09,Anxiety and Lithium! Hello all I’ve been on lithium for about 2 months now I take 300 mg twice a day. Recently I’ve noticed a lot of anxiety. I’m usually pretty calm as far as anxiety goes so this new anxiety I’m feeling is very noticeable and uncomfortable. I wanted to know if anyone else has experienced this and if it goes away or not or if it could be serious. My pdoc is also our for July so my next appointment isn’t until August.,3.1582380952380973,4.568055300000001,5.944285714285716,75.34500000000001,73.77777777777777,10.031746031746033,29.523809523809533,10.290406445055957,3.36704761904762,347,15,67,11,7,126,64,90,0.126,0.795,0.078,-0.3084,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,0,1,15,13,14,0,5,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,2,5,1,10,10,2,12,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,6,9,44,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15070197921842673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5766495120523834,0.0,0.0,0.13176738210743416,0.19308747856174596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17705331280369005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15046057525843012,0.0,0.0,0.12153351662005353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15742431268879126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09528508591499067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035662173298129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16021194380481646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504175770611159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18200447213834325,0.20041682754042872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4290991114187601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19171959543707048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18606988981012496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14168961419355075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20754909851102465,0.1554895233463311,0.1111516469359224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Antiatlanticantics,2019/07/09,"I am... Angry? That bipolar is trendy. Unpopular opinion?: Bipolar is a vastly popular thing to self-diagnose or even professionally diagnose. Due to misunderstandings about terminology perpetuated by media exposure.

I am angry. That my struggle is trendy. 

Ironic to post these feelings on Reddit, I get that.

But I also get... protective... of my (yes MY, it is MINE and I own it because I have to) illness because when I hear it minimized (""omg I am so manic rite now guyz"") I hear that my lifelong struggle is invalid. Not illness. More like an entertaining inconvenience. 

And that the things I have experienced and the awful things I have DONE (oh god) are my own fault and not a symptom of severe and debilitating illness. Hey, maybe I don't have bipolar at all! Maybe I'm just a horrible, horrible person!

Just need to whine a bit right now. Thanks guyz!",2.2989200561009824,5.2249555483871015,4.4718092566619925,75.00510518934084,90.29032258064517,7.082748948106589,27.38429172510519,8.04050195162591,2.6888793828892013,670,32,112,17,23,229,92,155,0.247,0.688,0.065,-0.9818,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,0,9,8,0,2,7,2,15,8,0,0,1,15,23,10,0,1,6,0,1,1,0,0,8,2,0,1,12,5,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,4,18,4,11,22,5,9,1,1,0,0,4,4,0,2,5,84,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13474776894895135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20542960204462246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839561470396364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3420437935561877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172431928671805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11129132269945502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519763846329252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17606647385842875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3798189255656303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231959894585084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33855772514473353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493911270742132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471259316463935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16137448197127902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14389634915771216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17578013494787126,0.19035474960365964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3523013345609805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751339117310849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15513029606292456,0.0,0.0,0.3358277004396393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thatdrunk72626,2019/07/09,"Feeling happy... which makes me scared I only got diagnosed last year. Since then I’ve been in deeeeep depression and working on getting meds right. Before that I was in a sub-manic state that basically almost cost me everything. 

So now. Here I am. I’m taking my meds. I’m working hard to do things to be happy and to make my family happy.  I finally have the energy and desire for fun things again. And I am terrified. 

How can I enjoy joy again? How can I know what is ME emerging from this dark dark depression to be myself vs. what is mania?

I’d love to just hear your thoughts and experience. Doesn’t have to be positive. I just want to know I’m not going through this alone <3",1.2786952554744528,3.748127795620437,3.166893248175185,87.60829607664236,84.91240875912409,6.6366788321167896,20.971259124087588,7.865858978985527,1.1419054744525543,536,17,108,11,16,179,89,137,0.11599999999999999,0.669,0.215,0.9383,0,1,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,2,9,10,0,1,2,0,15,2,0,4,0,20,31,9,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,9,5,0,0,4,0,1,1,2,3,0,0,4,3,15,7,13,24,0,13,0,2,0,1,3,4,0,1,7,70,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15332012486520724,0.15857844936551155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13028752240951205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637512696559293,0.15540603867267866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13760770792047206,0.1497734764626918,0.14434090722125764,0.0,0.07741831746274533,0.0,0.0,0.16772733971578846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999499994117103,0.0,0.08701740375685625,0.0,0.12245811178458425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.488973543452285,0.1371587910972999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17256899773382772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682933318401661,0.12480718271573304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13819007511050854,0.0,0.2044076629269581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401471038460932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644901133724947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075730080971176,0.0,0.0,0.15329239634836314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665630266596867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11512159985453155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20344238012826707,0.0,0.0,0.12155428017796358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09030976260722896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229355535152024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859947706479967
bipolarreddit,spewaway25,2019/07/09,"Mixed Episode [NAW] Just a rant, no advice please because I've got a lot of professional support around haha. 

Discovered I've been in a mixed ep since the 14ish~ of June and it's absolutely doing my fucking head in. The most amount of sleep I've had in the past month is 5 hours, most of the time it's so much less and that's even if I do sleep. 

Seeing my psychologist weekly again, a GP once a week and currently looking for a new psychiatrist. My psychologist is heavily suggesting looking into ECT now since I've exhausted all other medication options (SSRI's, SNRI's, anti-psychotics, mood stabilisers, even fucking tricyclics. Won't touch MAOI's though lmao.) 

My mind is racing a thousand mile an hour. I swing upwards and do dumb shit (no inhibitions!), I swing way down and also do dumb shit (but I'm fully aware of what I'm doing then lol). I can't sit still at all. I'm blowing through money like no tomorrow. Heavily researched yesterday on how to get my truck licence so I can drop out of uni and drive instead. 

Life's great, fellas.",3.3306372549019616,5.4250084362745135,4.621176470588235,82.11696078431375,74.93137254901961,7.670588235294117,27.509803921568626,8.515128840125781,2.103021568627452,827,33,158,16,18,273,134,204,0.129,0.799,0.073,-0.8799,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,0,13,12,6,0,12,2,13,10,5,1,2,20,24,14,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,9,0,0,0,0,1,1,5,7,0,1,3,4,10,4,18,20,8,30,0,0,3,2,1,10,6,5,17,90,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14618129652741074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963008039873375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13317016720998665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119097110315948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976105428099682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765940517707513,0.07815656833318319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964380009604304,0.1649276548175672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535263614301339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946394517276325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566250074056016,0.07308395765732115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512421741026225,0.0,0.0,0.12717927009059554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506999808995262,0.0,0.0,0.15104705898719192,0.0,0.11940431658912012,0.0,0.10996863028274437,0.0,0.0,0.14447859110915268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15931247827836206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14280417626618716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16420903259470698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920686330789305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30711170158072304,0.2474910177241311,0.0,0.2994036010950657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946577454132665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697572325715775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469751152898692,0.0,0.08722932779193729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11874056821108606,0.2399901910058446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,yellow_fleurs,2019/07/09,"Confused about/questioning diagnoses Not sure there's a point to this exactly, I know no one could give me medical advice or anything. I guess mostly interested in hearing other's experiences with this kind of thing. I am just trying to navigate the fact that I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (unspecified) after a reaction to Lexapro last year. That was a horrible couple of months and I was told I had a mixed episode. It continued after stopping although it improved. With a lot of lifestyle changes I am doing much better now. I also have symptoms of OCD. 

My current therapist agrees with the symptoms of OCD, but disagrees that I have shown any signs of bipolar disorder. I definitely have mood symptoms with seasons and hormones (also diagnosed with PMDD). I really like my therapist and overall trust her. In a sense it doesn't matter too much as long as I continue to do well and improve, but I wonder if I might be ignoring a problem that I should be medicating or at least looking out for. I will say that I tried Lamictal after that mixed episode and was less depressed, but extremely agitated and irritable. It was symptoms maybe from the Lexapro still, but it improved when I stopped the Lamictal. I kind of wonder if I just have problems with meds for some reason. Also my friends, including my friend with bipolar, all say they don't see bipolar either. So yea, I guess I am just curious about other's experiences with anything similar.",6.708431865828094,8.127402713207552,7.116949685534593,70.25949161425578,65.26415094339623,10.568134171907758,38.87316561844864,10.62613485830676,4.662668763102726,1169,64,188,31,18,381,148,265,0.153,0.703,0.14300000000000002,0.0649,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,1,14,16,0,1,11,1,23,13,0,1,4,53,33,22,0,6,13,0,0,1,2,3,13,3,0,0,16,16,0,3,4,0,0,0,4,5,1,1,7,5,29,10,33,20,9,21,0,1,2,0,9,5,0,13,17,152,45,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494658054570336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331037006941068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06607418680102102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599137765092181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593279706249111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027855938864196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07757676681531768,0.10750903573865887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08368636844766453,0.29585526609944995,0.0,0.0,0.22271448197221505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19008815921599745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15013581950014793,0.0,0.0,0.09320762426330907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140720459099657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109509787352583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20236067106444108,0.05339825584170264,0.0792008310806554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0474689446403183,0.0,0.0,0.08598621690071298,0.0815924673216975,0.0,0.0,0.08260452669563123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976133151658016,0.0,0.10792621357237224,0.19576304513115075,0.0,0.10307461176423527,0.0,0.0,0.07755459714648053,0.0,0.14285200173585022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06584017828507413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185046162499688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18594377974348125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062245119874812224,0.09989976906275116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15453586981603512,0.0,0.0,0.07742634877055697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759451485516125,0.16246527407667896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157499832879827,0.403958331530442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22562751469091166,0.0645507944037351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284343132136097,0.0,0.13193462793757835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.087361225560112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107383052570536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06256980053332893
bipolarreddit,lfapst,2019/05/16,"S/o Just started medication for Bipolar, what do I need to know? S/o Just go the official diagnosis for bipolar and has started medication for it. I do not expect this to be a magic cure-all to fix any issues that may exist and my understanding is that it's still going to take a lot of therapy to help them, but what should I expect?

​

They did not, to the best of my understanding, go through full blown mania episodes so this should wrestle out the worst of the depressive and hypo-manic episodes, but are there underlying thought process that are going to still be there from having been through so many of those period? Should I expect remnants of the paranoia that they experienced during those times?

​

I'm just looking for any insight in what to expect going forward in regards to their mental state, I already have a full list of potential side effects that I should keep in mind for the medication they're on.

​

Any help would be greatly appreciated!",7.349657228017883,7.964340617486342,7.276323894684553,72.52614008941879,63.59016393442622,9.714654744162944,36.30849478390462,9.573946990214177,3.508239344262295,795,36,136,14,11,254,102,183,0.092,0.853,0.055,-0.8428,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,4,2,9,4,0,0,9,0,19,5,0,1,0,31,35,7,0,10,7,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,0,14,4,0,1,6,0,0,6,2,2,0,0,3,2,12,2,29,23,5,22,0,1,1,0,6,10,0,2,7,104,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12037093055949365,0.0,0.0,0.3545598026500115,0.3976272587457311,0.2225315340548241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144712449642956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09394922511478286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3099593668353382,0.0,0.0,0.12025952464525295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462261520106984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11384970285667802,0.0,0.09695405788498243,0.0,0.0,0.0599467374659259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09159853895285916,0.0,0.0,0.09273471197261073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058856426266864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32965559512270504,0.10992555775876724,0.0,0.1101382756758169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088038837977084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15441276726314496,0.0,0.17422059718982466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201352065085081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474086782711613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659621200688436,0.06360459988949033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22710930694329684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748629690975484,0.0,0.3976272587457311,0.0
bipolarreddit,lalajoy04,2019/05/16,"Over-Eating Is this a sign of mania for anyone else? Over-indulging in things I enjoy is a big one for me. It feels really out of control and I already need to lose weight, but I’m afraid I’m going to gain more. I have so little self control right now. Even when we don’t have a lot of food in the house I’ll order pizza and eat way too much of it. So few of my clothes fit, though (I have a 9 month old baby and I still have a lot of pregnancy weight to lose). Consciously I know how to eat healthy, but I’m really struggling to make those choices. I have very little will power right now.",1.2542233357193986,2.7484241574803185,3.035561918396567,93.86282032927704,79.07874015748031,5.878024337866857,19.419470293486047,6.574015621080383,-0.04318267716535429,456,10,106,4,11,152,80,127,0.049,0.84,0.111,0.8181,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,6,10,5,0,2,6,0,9,6,0,4,0,18,17,10,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,5,6,2,3,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,0,3,10,1,16,16,5,18,0,2,0,0,2,9,0,2,6,67,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585217202139878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10044365645442636,0.14718674722166472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222321380889833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939803164982577,0.12000142469549015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487969353361966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07263392716622738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17370255906601628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816397975803486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16575320333382118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789464690531579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879507542003124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214159680591132,0.0,0.2442527609800474,0.0,0.0,0.09588771616226327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146603293880081,0.0,0.10559952714235846,0.1065149055336059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507368652754021,0.0,0.09734118681415092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840521699612981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24535320773498756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985863164005692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147193455881323,0.0,0.0,0.1501745232415803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543490161660567,0.0,0.14113572785619385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185265732343956,0.0,0.11402295203155935,0.0,0.349854824422125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,atreestump1,2019/05/16,"Almost certain leaving my job was the right choice, still I feel guilty. Just needed to vent this out there, hopefully get some feedback because everyone else has told me i shouldn't. 

 I applied last year for a tier 1 tech support job, got an interview, aced the computer literacy test, and didn't get the job.  

Flash forward to a few months ago, I met a chick after I overheard her talking about this job at the same call center and what she told callers to do to fix their computer issues. I made fun of her and offered simpler methods of fixing those issues. 

After many conversations I'm in college now for Networking, and she convinced me to reapply. I added my unofficial transcript to the application, aced the comp literacy test, pointed out a question that didn't have the right answer. She talked to the higher ups and eventually got me the job.

Flash forward to last Sunday, I dropped my 5 yr old daughter  off at her mom's and she cried and screamed and begged for me to take her with me. I had to work tho. I've been working there for 4 weeks, failed 2 classes since I couldn't make the classes on time. And the image of my daughter was burned into my brain...

I'm using my GI Bill, so I have enough money to get by. Everyone was telling me to stick out the job. Management even tried working out a more accomodating schedule, but I think the depression took hold. My now ex-gf isn't happy. I feel very strongly like I made the right choice, but everyone is telling me otherwise...

What do you guys think?",4.755917438647813,6.059568235494879,5.195455875182841,82.66445961319683,69.71672354948805,8.038290264911426,31.017227368763205,8.418075326091056,2.2818312692995293,1195,50,231,18,21,381,168,293,0.059000000000000004,0.884,0.057,-0.3992,7,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,1,1,7,10,11,0,0,20,0,16,1,1,4,1,37,39,13,0,4,3,3,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,2,6,15,0,1,6,0,2,3,5,3,0,0,15,3,38,8,35,22,5,35,0,2,0,0,28,18,0,4,18,140,44,21,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428624144034137,0.0,0.0952129052432258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057962332444942026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614520588416868,0.09709140940524527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444532466497894,0.0,0.0,0.08189572199868868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794304928492102,0.0,0.0,0.09824720410321693,0.0,0.06280209454080472,0.0,0.0,0.2725705505665559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615466894709122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490324187257231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15209474429870976,0.0,0.0,0.0941481230260871,0.0,0.1012187010676679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443988039470658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19848601419314352,0.5661372736189695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550123243381693,0.0,0.10068024186236303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046453246400168534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17994158631457435,0.06346931773752505,0.09640026625046168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136124810069747,0.0758951528838352,0.0,0.0,0.07050359163476952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977467792363763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988512717451884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651585676791653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436036854809581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786544790176388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593421646890386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079002123808528,0.0,0.0,0.07149134523621467,0.15284985759730002,0.16621523860607285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12185199379583765,0.0,0.0,0.05544425325513302,0.0,0.0,0.1817137003777039,0.10564183823690564,0.06455580408136277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212205925693875,0.0,0.0784542696190995,0.0,0.0,0.0762706607152468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076668840850188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06123098761533024
bipolarreddit,jessi2591,2019/05/16,"How Would You Describe Your Experience With Dry Mouth in one Sentence? Hello everyone!

I am an advertising grad student taking a campaign course, conducting research for a popular dry mouth brand. Our objective is to find ways to help find relief from dry mouth and return to a better quality of life. My group would love to learn about the impact dry mouth has had on your life and what symptoms caused you to find a solution to dry mouth, especially because most prescriptions that treat bipolar disorder have dry mouth as a side effect. This project is solely educational and not for profit and all answers are confidential.

If you could describe your experience with dry mouth in one sentence or less what would you say?",8.2065625,9.36055653125,7.520312499999997,69.6434375,61.8125,10.775,36.3125,10.686352973137794,4.14973125,588,26,94,14,8,183,85,128,0.036000000000000004,0.7909999999999999,0.17300000000000001,0.9525,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,7,0,2,2,6,0,0,7,0,11,12,7,3,1,23,13,8,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,4,6,0,0,6,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,10,6,17,8,3,6,0,0,0,1,13,4,0,3,1,62,14,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11326703400951013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643323692772839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908763392689844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14835283299764804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129524450847431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775478229781916,0.0,0.36351240321906575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5094763451878913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12454340764449601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624838384794054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16769927323199074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25181706778046203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477622426669488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931260007207185,0.1397047408322951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14748600453721522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39597872187136496,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,JazzyKrat,2019/05/16,"What alternative treatment has helped you? This can include pretty much anything but traditional pharmaceutical drugs. Cannabis and psychedelics (MDMA as well) are fine, as I’ve heard of some people benefitting from them. I know these are illegal in many places, but I’m not asking about legality, to be blunt. Bonus: if working out/exercising helped, how do? I’m asking for someone who is strongly against conventional medicine.",6.159471830985915,9.767784154929585,5.488151408450708,71.52264964788735,73.64788732394365,8.057042253521129,34.227112676056336,8.841846274778883,3.682421126760565,349,18,52,8,8,106,62,71,0.061,0.742,0.19699999999999998,0.8753,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,1,3,3,5,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,0,8,13,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,3,5,9,11,2,2,1,0,0,0,8,2,0,2,0,32,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22112977126060365,0.0,0.5024250072813411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3116244018543646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3602283625353428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14767888493097076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724351073435963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19753664229264828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862933338737097,0.0,0.28075026411602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2733800345666689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276815763346827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24160729921902616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19562791701017496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,3ofCups,2019/05/16,"Acceptance One of the most challenging things for me has been acceptance of my mental illness diagnoses. 

I kept telling people that I was stable since 2013, but reflecting back, alas I was not. I mean sure, between 2011 and 2019, there were no psychiatric hospitalizations (well, two near hospitalizations in 2013 and 2018), but I struggled, man, with a lot of dysfunctional disregulation. 

I spent some time in a psych unit end of last month. They diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder, and reaffirmed my bipolar diagnosis (thanks guys). I was super offended at first. Like, what do you mean I have a personality disorder? Wtf I'm awesome, how dare you insult who I am?! But then I began to research more, and reflect upon it more and it explains so much, and I felt bad about my initial reaction. Indeed, I'd stigmatized the new diagnostic label.

I'm grappling with the new label, and feeling so much shame with how I treated my last significant other. With how I've handled my work. 

I'm trying to be gentle and kind to myself and accept and forgive myself.  Hopefully this time will be better. I don't want to be swept away again.",5.318525149190116,7.561132946859902,6.203267973856209,72.27588235294121,69.7729468599034,9.315032679738565,31.017050298380212,9.773937934552695,3.3533696504688835,908,39,152,23,17,299,134,207,0.17300000000000001,0.634,0.193,0.6193,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,2,1,5,10,19,2,2,6,0,14,4,0,3,1,40,28,19,0,2,4,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,0,4,8,15,0,1,11,0,1,0,3,5,1,3,9,2,25,14,22,15,7,19,0,0,0,0,12,6,0,4,14,110,33,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13683363878630586,0.11198822305836872,0.12160337403231974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12880680551146728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2956432082022004,0.0,0.0,0.333832272946041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12899387266664344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363999476400769,0.0,0.13983730543084955,0.0,0.0,0.12388136809458798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14420656558023415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14465344998705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15166171992523672,0.0,0.2374321887354336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115238103647079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12381797832919897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3172894614771068,0.0,0.0,0.14677093440932995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162485134040547,0.0,0.21412441621250347,0.0,0.0,0.28132017191548736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868947979243196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100968485889551,0.2543345808994028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12047496988860246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15225462172640675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13726404123530014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729583944992376,0.13408580796209135,0.0,0.0,0.09675679024303348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16984779061114222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09888004662890937,0.0,0.14226918485756726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590228596398236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13094791249238272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060277046286282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,NeoAstraeus,2019/05/16,"Does anyone find that people being overly nice comes across as really condescending? I hung out with my old friends from university the other night. It was really cool seeing everyone because we haven't caught up in about a year. My Bipolar symptoms fully kicked off halfway through my last year there and I got diagnosed just before the end of my degree, so they all know what's up with me. I even lived with two of them for a bit so they really know what's up.

It's really hard because I was the highest achiever among them. Three of us did a masters degree. Well, three of us started a masters degree. The other two finished, not me. Everyone's been really successful except me. I know we can't compare ourselves to others, because life gave us the short end of the stick. But it's still hard, you know?

Anyway, only one of them ever asks how I'm doing with my disorder. She's a really great person. After I left she sent me a text saying how I look really good and stuff. But it had like four smiley faces. And it was just so overly nice. I appreciate it, honestly. She's trying to be nice and supportive. But I can't help feeling sad about it. Because it feels condescending. Like I'm some sort of special flower. There's no way that she'd be that nice to me if I wasn't Bipolar. 

I don't want my illness to be the elephant in the room. But if it was any other illness she wouldn't send me a text like that. It honestly just makes me feel like she thinks I'm a retard.

It's hard enough going to the pharmacy to pick up your ritalin prescription and having the pharmacist talk to you like you're five. But it's harder coming from a friend. I just want them to treat me exactly how they treated me while we were at university. Sure, some things have changed. But I'm still the same person I was four years ago. And I just want everyone to remember that.",2.554355779845448,4.5960168981233265,4.063328339378646,85.47036232455451,77.06970509383378,7.283677653366977,23.03493139883299,8.219915518859313,1.3648051411449298,1465,45,292,27,34,486,179,373,0.044000000000000004,0.752,0.204,0.9952,1,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,6,3,7,4,21,24,0,0,20,1,23,9,1,5,4,58,51,22,0,6,15,0,6,5,2,1,8,1,1,2,25,16,0,0,10,0,0,6,8,1,1,8,14,10,51,23,42,31,6,39,0,1,2,0,33,16,0,5,21,209,76,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867834709299444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06035828068695129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06206144864483604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829764695425663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164234841887244,0.0,0.07552626670753128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690042205213333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938938793912728,0.15291380148690645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008719874081153,0.0,0.0,0.10172401558576714,0.0,0.07767246275615755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572259577878624,0.09171043213287054,0.0,0.05862362478158301,0.08028642252851642,0.0,0.2544353623833534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13463568232638545,0.06340851972370802,0.0,0.0,0.08112293123761177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371479600928717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05044304721430057,0.07444574898157978,0.0709876421018499,0.0978556793038046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385284004051552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05949241641856561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951156462352296,0.07234937309787888,0.0,0.0,0.09643550243828253,0.0,0.0626921894835853,0.21681264826927907,0.0,0.07837467658730031,0.0,0.07453411510571653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059246455001117915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329309029539067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09313627712684368,0.0,0.06014451563932088,0.06750423160586047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061533414619623285,0.15499960290293574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3980231946974416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054517357908237,0.0,0.0,0.07058368674780477,0.0,0.0,0.07072839663895564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282315799221723,0.0,0.14176403022559064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016063331835246,0.0,0.10072118789538667,0.08365308330894643,0.09225323662995943,0.0,0.07134007842589142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05896667300529108,0.05687235127590885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060260653145577436,0.0,0.17340675483660947,0.0,0.32029375956019984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15705477602518533,0.07045173216140302,0.0,0.0,0.0798038330671036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17147114929270066
bipolarreddit,empty-empty,2019/05/16,"Abilify? I just started. I wanted to see if anyone has any good outcomes with Abilify? 

I don't know if I can deal with another losing med. 

​

Also, I just created a new username because I'm feeling on edge and paranoid that my posts are being monitored. Oh yeah, I'm also close to tears and rage at all times. And uncomfortable anywhere.

So that's fun. 

I don't know what this is.",1.076493506493506,3.647011000000002,3.350662337662339,84.75456493506495,88.35064935064932,6.196883116883117,25.881818181818186,7.554174236665415,1.857764675324676,305,14,57,6,10,104,57,77,0.163,0.685,0.152,-0.222,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,5,4,1,0,1,1,7,0,0,0,1,15,15,8,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,7,2,6,14,1,7,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,2,3,36,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3718827714774869,0.0,0.2519288542976444,0.2825299963070187,0.15811751360564805,0.2438112336647865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625792159551612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14173839453478004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397117552122884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756607980303307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19502173676100715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25556726017664194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26012372471839146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582706707284355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22456349900356248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22268416786907405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18528357816997013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645746271353231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355808006868445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371427990899397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825299963070187,0.0
bipolarreddit,eastofmars,2019/05/16,"Just curious I’m curious to see if anyone would like to talk about a Song of Ice and Fire and/or Game of Thrones.  This story really means a lot to me.  I dived back into the books during a hypomanic state and really had my eyes opened.  I guess I’m closer to the schizoaffective spectrum and have found myself really interested in language.

I’m not sure if this is the right place to discuss this sort of topic.  Just curious if anyone else has had interesting experiences with this story.

I think of ASOIAF as a story about seeing what we want to see and believing what we want to believe.",5.113421052631576,6.364386614035088,6.218377192982459,75.86072368421056,68.82456140350878,9.910526315789477,26.530701754385966,10.125756701596842,2.641722807017545,470,14,87,12,8,157,71,114,0.038,0.81,0.152,0.8842,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,7,0,6,1,1,0,1,25,18,8,0,6,6,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,6,9,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,6,8,4,17,14,1,8,0,0,4,0,5,6,0,6,2,56,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25547662354400524,0.18718341475191697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047427166439258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4116491672445203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15261072666935466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17870198075700702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20030578985410327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012492455426774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925116079461408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15531311998482505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19899863034952048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19086800655861594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3511000241139746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15601286158938724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4367313128334074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17217941040273535,0.0,0.0,0.1468361016185189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705782409404615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155058938439874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977490599937347,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ceader_,2019/10/08,homicidal Thoughts with bipolar 1? Hello I’m new to bipolar so I need some help I got diagnosed with bipolar 1 with psychosis and I’m wondering if have homicidal thoughts are a symptom of bipolar or the psychosis episode?,4.487926829268293,7.270023097560973,4.812378048780489,78.81661585365855,74.12195121951221,8.002439024390245,44.39634146341464,8.841846274778883,4.842458536585367,181,14,29,4,4,57,28,41,0.0,0.9109999999999999,0.08900000000000001,0.5145,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,6,0,0,0,11,9,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,0,5,6,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,1,16,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3506373539951237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762980683255427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315563561455456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561562040624037,0.0,0.33365001450814874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3590680056828195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5485175676880076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37463954612816336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Poopayaaa,2019/10/08,Rollercoaster For the past few days I’ve been having these episodes of being extremely extremely depressed for a few hours and then fine within minutes. No hypomania/mania but this is scaring the crap out of me. Went to an afterhours clinic yesterday and they gave me something to sleep. I’m seeing my regular doctor tomorrow. I am also trying to get in to see a psych. I’m curious if anyone has gone through this and what meds helped? I’m almost at reading break but I can’t miss school thursday/friday or I risk failing the semester (even with a doctor’s note). I also have to be up at 5:30am those days so hoping I don’t get something that makes me sleep in.,3.1527435897435936,5.394533069230771,4.428846153846155,82.60532051282053,76.0,7.410256410256411,26.21794871794872,8.344100000000001,1.9802564102564104,529,20,97,10,12,174,93,130,0.153,0.777,0.07,-0.8753,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,4,8,1,2,7,0,10,6,3,1,0,12,23,11,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,6,0,0,4,2,10,2,18,17,2,17,0,3,2,0,3,7,1,4,7,66,16,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18151331270515236,0.0,0.0,0.2899192610416417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267465173586383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338052062289685,0.0,0.15612551427128962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3710701296374026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197255371611998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18940967406510975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149984821423412,0.0,0.0,0.18003962276049948,0.17851206785507984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099752747008752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201347434592974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17304043062898228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813166489476632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18148048534505729,0.18345248392140406,0.2888936094176707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36279700930304937,0.0,0.0,0.27909730168625324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230687985333442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16803687694290953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hiddenwater39,2019/10/08,"AMA: BP1 artist: the confusion, clarity, devesation, and creation in severe mania Hey!

I'm lucky to be a full time artists with some achievements under my belt! Many of which were perhaps associated with either bouts of hypomania or extreme mania. there is a correlation between bipolar 1 or bipolar 2 and creativity. it is taking me quite some time to understand that relationship and to dissociate the destruction involved in mania with a generation.",6.804887218045112,9.9449092631579,7.896917293233082,57.78342105263158,68.21052631578948,10.658646616541354,38.48872180451128,10.608840637214634,5.471103759398496,368,21,49,12,7,124,58,76,0.10300000000000001,0.7659999999999999,0.131,0.3147,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,1,3,1,1,5,0,4,2,0,0,0,14,7,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,12,5,4,6,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,6,2,36,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3678265118185468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858869224129499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38951593235394255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.409865474981244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727836049241865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4231080902252594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3776919644967308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sluttieroach,2019/10/08,"need some opinions Okay so this could be messy I’m so sorry! So I’m currently taking Lamictal and Lexpro and it was all going swell I felt that my moods were stabilized not great but functional. As a month ago I get the Mirena IUD the doctor insisted that I should be fine knowing my mental health background. I noticed 1 or 2 weeks after I feel like I’m literally going insane. So I googled the interaction between my meds and the iud and I find out lamictal and the iud have a moderate interaction. I just feel invalid because the next appointment is not in a month from now even though I told them how unstable I’ve been feeling. What would you do? At this point it takes all my might to not act out on any of my impulses and I’m slowly breaking. It’s just ruining my relationship, family, and me. I’m sorry if you read this far but thank you!",1.662037151702787,4.13508748235294,3.6559442724458218,84.78753869969042,83.0,7.343653250773992,23.653250773993808,8.371475516178862,1.7912352941176477,672,25,133,16,19,227,109,170,0.102,0.826,0.07200000000000001,-0.6208,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,1,0,10,7,0,0,9,1,12,2,0,1,2,34,30,18,0,5,9,0,4,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,9,9,0,0,6,1,0,3,3,1,0,0,5,4,20,5,11,19,3,19,0,1,0,0,8,7,0,5,9,88,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14623591362333868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121852281741206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056415490807363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13171508735166867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16885374189680127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10896110107287604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555189939991102,0.0,0.25024130194333544,0.11785457061445527,0.15839702996270386,0.0,0.15077955249001074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618999392001607,0.0,0.1875124571849392,0.0,0.0,0.1818799605603112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17535535050018347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09066317431558477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08059598828958295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832444329893494,0.0,0.16625091583150536,0.17500705494192995,0.0,0.0,0.2633548923736576,0.0,0.0,0.12232313317393477,0.0,0.0,0.17544742136530442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18781939004941667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15594993285849046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16501460073285115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17711599609277362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36934072230735815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24807375458020026,0.0,0.0,0.1518821724711183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16208214566464127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15763586404205626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323289490876677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11718992460250904,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,quiteadisarray,2019/10/08,"Mixed episode? Pdoc says I'm going through a mixed episode which I've never experienced before so I'm suspicious. I'm diagnosed as bp1 and mostly suffer from random bouts of depression but with some psychotic features and/or mania thrown in once every couple of years. 

I haven't slept for 2/3 nights now except for about 3ish broken hours and I'm still not tired. I was prescribed hydroxyzine 25mg but it isn't working at all. I've been having urges to spend compulsively but warned my partner so he's got my cards on lock down and got carried away doing random stuff for like 6 hours last night. Next appointment with pdoc is next Tuesday so I guess we'll see what he suggests. I'm just really hoping this isn't actually all precursor to mania. 

I'm really bad about denying my bipolar legitimacy and my family doesn't really see it as a serious issue because I function very well most of the time, so I'm second guessing everything at the moment. 

What are mixed episodes like for y'all?",4.3404777486911,6.4406822460732975,5.190232329842933,79.11320189790578,72.08900523560209,8.33520942408377,27.12074607329843,9.017664075816787,2.3642484293193724,803,29,143,17,16,261,126,191,0.122,0.7909999999999999,0.087,-0.7137,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,1,0,1,10,8,0,0,4,0,11,4,1,0,3,23,27,13,0,1,6,0,0,2,1,1,3,1,0,1,7,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,6,4,1,1,5,4,10,4,24,21,5,21,0,2,2,0,7,6,0,8,16,78,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.14230420830385307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700742994766987,0.0,0.1217578213728006,0.08889359387007924,0.0,0.1240863726852866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613526385418483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255988974902548,0.1480093509773749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286388970833717,0.0,0.13105814750024847,0.0,0.13747087423224896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287573355444361,0.0,0.23325921955100465,0.0,0.3212854548299527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14483717301956994,0.28721659001031874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15220346033638407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188668746005292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424855020582818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11246926445342573,0.0,0.3101731791940494,0.27369385235275884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15529891360068948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802577734740982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596592869082267,0.0,0.0,0.2324073615014009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645606922463406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16693478807074416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503175637338764,0.16760443737840588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032093407418605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13111422824625804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061623694529186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390654785176768
bipolarreddit,jvl777,2019/10/08,"Headaches with Lamictal Hello everyone, 

I started Lamictal about a month ago, slowly, and I am at 100mg.  Ever since I hit 100mg, my headaches have been rather intense.  I am willing to wait it out and see what happens, but this has come as a surprise, since I did very well with Lamictal when I was 17-18 with virtually no side-effects.  

Has anyone had headaches with Lamictal?",5.133333333333333,6.3172445555555585,5.595444444444446,80.59400000000002,68.72222222222221,9.093333333333334,35.23333333333333,9.3871,3.3039300000000003,296,15,56,6,5,95,52,72,0.043,0.852,0.105,0.4748,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,10,0,0,0,1,12,16,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,4,1,7,2,9,10,0,8,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,5,39,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731789578150243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21548345240715588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654658776470794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2787623538546565,0.0,0.2944748658950979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27251854826482075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459827181010679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455759480930677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.509851862850731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181281821627214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25427703554505204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770867557899762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hypotheticalthrow11,2019/10/08,"Rant: today in a moment of clarity I got back on my meds So after 4 months of being off due to the dreaded ""I'm fine"" trap. I got pulled over. Drunk as shit. Fighting with my spouse. Threatening murder. In a manic rage. (Oh fun) the part of the story literally no one is going to believe...the cop told me to get out of the car and (wait for it) told me to walk away. And that's exactly what I did. When I woke up I immediately took my medicine. I dont know why this man randomly decided to get me a chance but thank you sir. Whoever you are. You made a bigger difference than putting me in cuffs ever could. Heres to recovery. As the meds continue to kick in I'm getting those after regrets of bullshit I pulled in the last 4 months but guess what? That's ok. I can do better. I will do better. And I'm staying on my fucking meds. 

Wish me luck!",-0.8093741851368996,1.3460565480225988,1.9316666666666684,93.33875162972623,96.5141242937853,5.2089526292916135,18.672099087353324,6.844919456158928,0.3257885267275098,647,21,145,11,26,223,112,177,0.154,0.7070000000000001,0.14,0.2286,0,0,0,0,3,0,29.0,0,3,0,2,5,14,5,1,10,1,10,3,1,1,2,19,30,9,1,3,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,7,5,1,1,2,1,0,7,2,7,0,1,8,0,21,7,31,19,1,33,0,1,0,1,9,13,2,3,12,92,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399852388707925,0.11456757486383712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635470575457793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11895998575040065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15566754232945065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746204462451562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477405681122806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13774301588200993,0.23353043272507834,0.0,0.08467700885011932,0.0,0.2383290277040728,0.0,0.16413424132275334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08188348154735071,0.12145040485129265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14098219996890712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4964979086804003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378519794047853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10096253030552628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613465258459581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497806266852932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15294071480411328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15880831437736534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717411904882454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14122936606568773,0.28474126263345684,0.16553837351818504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13444436309954513,0.0,0.17133632375979502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Creamofcelery,2019/10/08,"Does anyone else find hardcore punk or similar genres oddly cathartic and soothing during a panic attack? I was having a panic attack at a friend’s house and listened to Converge on the way home and I felt so much better.

I would’ve thought music like that would make it worse, but it did the opposite.",5.553275862068966,6.793242086206899,5.933965517241383,78.34508620689657,67.79310344827587,7.179310344827586,28.29310344827586,7.1686216300943375,1.75043448275862,243,8,40,2,4,78,47,58,0.18,0.725,0.095,-0.6073,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,1,7,2,2,5,0,4,0,0,1,0,10,8,6,0,1,2,0,1,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,4,2,3,3,3,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,25,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14068657922930985,0.20615736927000944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4577974024240902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17794866853847616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17607505664289752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16808020077118724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19318748116311726,0.0,0.1838968948048196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15544978223248013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20182410927523226,0.0,0.0,0.2321625077828189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982981560524384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13430529366581365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147908158327866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4721392998168514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597335741906272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970644280782612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20504415891193306,0.285859228004276,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,snxwfall,2019/04/19,Grapefruits? Someone just informed me that grapefruits and juice can increase blood levels of some bipolar medications and cause problems. Is this true?,8.410724637681156,12.806988913043476,4.843478260869572,73.99246376811597,72.91304347826087,4.8057971014492775,42.44927536231884,6.42735559955562,3.769040579710145,127,8,14,1,3,34,21,23,0.096,0.71,0.19399999999999998,0.4137,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,1,1,8,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5337924733908269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.523462088467699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4972057888499417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44027200776615977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,91210toATL,2019/04/19,"career advice I'm wondering if someone can give some academic advice. I currently go to a Top 30 University ( US news), however my GPA has suffered tremendously due to my condition. I have appealed to my Dean of undergraduate school of education, and he along with a committee have agreed to drop 1 semester from my transcript. Although appreciative I feel as though this is not adequate enough as I requested 3 semesters (while hoping for at least 2). I come from an abusive and very poor background and I hoped that my personal life combined with my condition could gleam well upon me, however that didn't happen. 

Now I want to appeal their decision and wondering how to do so. However, I am also considering transferring to my local state institution. And here starts the problem. 

My local state school is much less prestigious than my current institution. However, it may allow me a chance to start my GPA at zero. So my question is this, is it more advantageous for job placement, internships, and grad school, if I stay at my current ""prestigious"" institution and graduate with around a 2.8+, or leave for a much lower caliber school and aim for a potentially a 3.5+ GPA? 

Oh I am currently a Senior

If you have any other questions please ask?

Thank you",6.951842105263162,8.196217517543863,7.6757192982456175,67.10436842105264,64.61403508771929,11.869473684210524,36.69122807017544,11.602472056035307,4.888062807017544,1006,49,165,33,15,335,142,228,0.094,0.7909999999999999,0.115,0.6088,10,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,2,1,2,9,7,0,0,10,0,15,1,0,2,0,35,30,21,0,8,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,7,14,0,0,6,0,1,2,2,2,1,1,1,1,28,5,28,27,7,24,0,1,0,0,11,8,0,12,10,119,35,16,0.0,0.1537556851905875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536185857820086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377665449842842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824773739537034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552240361275395,0.12131700258603235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117849683934222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361041849090516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13408662472102442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06561537871722907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12448676779034899,0.0737510202962461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475477592228865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25778086850959697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877624498535234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13740720594183925,0.0,0.0,0.09166006405951653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19079108719947946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11330975715086965,0.0,0.14244798619463644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417192431380593,0.0,0.0,0.2907431685948681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5253348114199441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109953310383372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18370309709778032,0.13831706357966378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194743576263592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12749791447490227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560967788862978,0.0,0.0,0.10707346131831363,0.07654143708545341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11667840143054695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28145906172821006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,vacinom1974,2019/04/19,When do you tell? When do you tell a new boy or girl friend that you have bi polar disorder? Up front or wait til you get to know them better.,0.29763440860214985,2.010225645161292,1.7625806451612895,100.83053763440859,82.87096774193549,5.423655913978496,13.559139784946234,6.42735559955562,-1.0582344086021505,109,1,28,1,3,35,24,31,0.075,0.747,0.179,0.5803,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,4,1,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,4,6,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,3,6,0,6,0,0,0,1,10,1,0,2,4,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3283243704707875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42546381933244665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868127775862768,0.0,0.19395330009053727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20401929569120944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3585379979657332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6489459339510726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,omgjelly,2019/04/19,Lithium Acne Oh my god has anyone been on lithium and had it cause acne?  I’ve been on it for about 6 months and the acne side effect is just evil.  Which really sucks bc it’s been working really well for me.  Does anyone have any acne (severe cystic acne) tips?,1.026855345911951,3.370631339622648,3.4399056603773595,86.1333176100629,84.66037735849056,5.042767295597487,14.4937106918239,6.42735559955562,-0.27825534591194945,203,3,38,2,6,70,39,53,0.13,0.792,0.077,-0.6199,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,3,3,2,0,1,0,7,0,0,2,0,5,8,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,4,0,2,1,5,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,23,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22502654106576045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4627525159144217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3399302755621153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28957693014366864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641249720132965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42397204420641216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3738281191669129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975230625275576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409025603650748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,YSIMike,2019/04/19,"Quitting 5mg Zyprexa (Olanzapine) after 5 weeks. Advice would be appreciated! Hi guys, as the title states, I was prescribed 5mg of Olanzapine nightly since I was briefly institutionalized for a psychotic episode. I hate how it makes me feel, the constant mental sluggishness, the dry mouth, the fatigue, none of it is worthwhile for me. But at the same time, I've been looking around online for info on how to safely taper down and frankly I'm scared as fuck by what I've seen of the withdrawal effects. Has anyone else quit Olanzapine after a similar span of time? What was your experience, and how did you cope?",6.056393805309735,7.601220336283191,6.626714601769912,72.710514380531,66.87610619469028,9.189823008849556,33.59402654867257,9.516144504307137,3.2644876106194687,490,22,85,10,8,160,80,113,0.109,0.805,0.086,-0.5792,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,3,4,5,2,1,8,0,9,3,1,5,0,14,16,8,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,6,3,7,1,17,8,2,13,0,1,2,1,4,5,1,0,7,53,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21354004360138065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15279771996905245,0.22390462652398352,0.0,0.1945335278038897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23614782922130514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825495480128035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21375932431579905,0.0,0.0,0.1104927763002467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20202278703942664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21637404840598207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21574813825184588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18350591384418186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14586709524340333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22022174329369396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20507085419719875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4648563478431969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187815883030406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807660896818327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25484730129639577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17528752675169426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15523384856765046,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,familyofthings,2019/04/19,"Psychosis (Possible Self Harm) Hi; this is my first post to this subreddit, and to reddit in general! I am a long-time lurker. I am sorry if it's long--

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in late August after a manic, then psychotic, break that ended with 5 days in the psych ward. I did some severely out-of-character and even violent things while in the ward. I have trouble looking back and thinking what I could have done differently--my husband and sponsor took me to the emergency room, and I said (out of my mind) ""I think that's part of it"" to the question ""does this have to do with harm to yourself or others."" 

Then, everything escalated: the security guards grabbed me and moved me to a holding room. I nearly passed out from the anxiety spike. My brain was making me talk to everyone and learn their names, I think, as a coping mechanism. Eventually, after a long time in a room with scary doctor people (to my scared mind) coming in and out, I was driven, handcuffed, by police to the psych place. I am told by my therapist and friends that I am very smart and that that made things a little worse for me. My brain had SO MANY false narratives going, and not only was I manic but I was in such fight or flight, I ended up in seclusion rooms twice. This, as you can imagine, made everything tons worse. I felt so isolated. I feel traumatized, still.  

I went back to work right after. My sponsor stopped talking to me completely, and I don't have a large support group, even though I have been feeling a little more connected to people day-to-day. I want to go back and change everything; I want to believe that the right thing happened; but, being completely ignorant to what I could do, I said things that led to the worst situation for me. The ward experience seemed to make everything a lot worse--the delusions, the mania, the disconnectedness, the alienation, overmedicating, etc. 

I am now pretty stable and on a mood stabilizer, hydroxyzine, and a sleep med. How do you all cope with decisions that you or your loved ones made for you that you wish went differently? How do you deal with the trauma of hospitalization? I know everyone has different, even positive, experiences. Mine was not that. It's hard not to let it eat at me and get angry. 

Thanks for listening.",5.1747394540942935,6.635949293706298,5.8154883825851575,78.0166817053914,68.88344988344988,9.544807880291751,29.45642529513497,9.857291076455118,2.8580863373185954,1793,67,334,43,31,582,219,429,0.13699999999999998,0.78,0.083,-0.968,3,0,0,0,1,0,79.0,0,7,1,3,14,16,2,1,26,0,32,8,3,8,1,71,65,32,0,6,9,1,5,0,1,0,3,3,4,1,25,26,1,5,12,0,0,10,4,9,0,3,21,9,51,6,55,40,8,57,0,0,1,1,24,24,0,8,21,242,76,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060133429978486176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18132965207334564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885621252778397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17550074603565968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831548014557753,0.06771217083013305,0.16483394204243226,0.0,0.0,0.12552110462555846,0.0,0.0,0.15208324069919174,0.08103940872207259,0.0,0.07978350850519272,0.0,0.16425322972496004,0.0900893687017568,0.08045664558706654,0.06878870338453304,0.0804413031718632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043363575396795,0.0,0.0,0.139243296669655,0.0,0.08766654893365951,0.15575570775011052,0.0,0.0,0.15022294090224111,0.2825842761072374,0.15378364361222524,0.0,0.0,0.0794911837725461,0.0,0.07547415626443185,0.0,0.0,0.06686228474594065,0.0,0.0,0.06073085628969849,0.0,0.041068428310059975,0.0,0.08934728446888178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951108993005609,0.0,0.07041560076775336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04319984148272892,0.0,0.08867107313330692,0.0,0.0,0.08038003441485088,0.0,0.0,0.15756786953840524,0.0,0.20869170057663286,0.06600930309280456,0.0,0.0,0.06682807149330543,0.07094504902820611,0.2231368980209255,0.1049403269843892,0.07969421936707355,0.0,0.0,0.08731362559816827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15873944943478668,0.0,0.0,0.08354581461720101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05326550877507314,0.059783459933723235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512271594489779,0.0,0.10899110589025827,0.0,0.08212661486248002,0.0,0.0,0.08861653547841206,0.07528288831682381,0.07997063468716845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805679056196042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425831210124964,0.1495447502939527,0.0,0.07869839108119005,0.0,0.0,0.07156001577399627,0.08200327651525491,0.08880248710908188,0.0,0.0,0.08835651847084315,0.0786628404341413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799306210731125,0.0,0.0,0.06277491069388713,0.06571819599657593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892012390597762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12636116636790767,0.0,0.0723699101022645,0.0,0.09126770823455682,0.20888952583711687,0.15110279102316687,0.07723006670294214,0.0,0.045835832756706635,0.0,0.0,0.07511147045112056,0.08733423836111591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.064858241750739,0.09272779583876636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457372326569554,0.0,0.0,0.09039310355137363,0.0,0.0,0.05722615666001463,0.0,0.16021260588579764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BlueDream808,2019/04/19,"How do you personally recognize a delusion? Reality is subjective to an extent, right?

​

How do you personally know when you're experiencing a delusion and can you give an example?

​

I have a pretty hard time recognizing delusions I have had...and I find that after the fact the memory of them is pretty vague/foggy so it's pretty hard to recall my thought process at the time.",3.9379166666666654,6.9627269583333335,5.6200000000000045,70.80000000000003,78.02777777777777,8.6,29.83333333333333,9.188382445141503,3.4343833333333333,319,15,51,9,8,108,49,72,0.04,0.815,0.145,0.8534,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,3,1,0,4,0,0,0,8,0,7,0,0,2,1,7,10,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,8,0,5,9,1,6,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,4,35,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3569295626889659,0.4002848673667082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15054327631108005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15800622627319874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950982033678821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09052110234333616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876393603132737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5027122617942607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14066267366999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13076248851867928,0.1920891357724392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4002848673667082,0.0
bipolarreddit,faeriefarts89,2019/04/19,"When did you realize your bipolar disorder hit a new level? I was diagnosed at 15 and began my adventures with finding the right medications. I’m 32 and I’m still on my adventure, as frustrating as that can be sometimes. 

It was about ten years ago that I hear bipolar disorder is a progressive mental illness. I scoffed at it- I had been at the “same level” of mental illness from the start. 

Then all of a sudden, three years ago, all hell broke loose. I became insanely manic. I was hallucinating and ocd tendencies came out of nowhere. I was convinced that the planes that crashed into the 9/11 towers were going to crash into my home and the only way to stop them was to lock and unlock and lock my door again. 

After what felt like forever, that manic phase passed and I had the realization that I had hit a new level of my mental illness. My manic phases have become a monster of their own- I was never nearly this bad before. The lows are deeper, the suicidal thoughts have gotten more frequent (though I would never ever follow through- I love my kids too much). Everything thing feels so much BIGGER, if that makes sense. 

What was now something in the back of my head as a teenager, “Yeah I have bipolar disorder but I never even think about it, I’m too busy living my life. “ Has now become my biggest priority to keep in check and it’s almost all I think about. Managing my mental health is first and foremost and uncontrollable no matter how much medication I take. 

Has anyone had the same experience? If so, when did you notice your bipolar disorder becoming “stronger” for lack of better words.",4.0163343144468975,6.33891044701987,4.909308314937455,79.78733505028211,73.66887417218544,7.652882021093942,26.416973264655386,8.515128840125781,2.0938715722344856,1273,46,223,24,27,413,172,302,0.142,0.8009999999999999,0.057,-0.9657,1,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,4,2,3,18,12,2,1,17,1,26,14,1,2,7,43,47,23,1,4,3,0,2,1,0,1,12,1,2,1,15,15,0,2,7,0,1,4,4,6,0,3,20,3,33,6,32,23,11,47,1,2,0,1,9,17,1,3,26,170,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17353560478561642,0.0,0.09801616973556593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06844240774226973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526635701678333,0.0817286203352974,0.0,0.32431385246096245,0.08329163521190835,0.0,0.0,0.0865699869598296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195262895224928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09934967557497626,0.0,0.0,0.4487318104187621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06465111785567043,0.0885412149869643,0.0,0.0,0.08797136363091976,0.09574882947531664,0.0,0.0,0.049492830453547104,0.0,0.09398349457993986,0.0,0.08946373083856014,0.08325964127384225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05562943954082178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045669371311658,0.10404556598806146,0.1103218001410182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818511513256024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700333783129696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06913799933105824,0.047820925874446335,0.0,0.08643290945969348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834366571061886,0.0,0.06533798548074901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19721462402644813,0.394574116715177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21586686952244089,0.0,0.22648133097979964,0.1890729571124455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144099501659398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444480019048579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359196029612385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753554879449945,0.09680926830282437,0.0,0.06928243360168702,0.0,0.07816987656390018,0.08183497534716183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10706864409007748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359619803004921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502943719746754,0.1254395680501483,0.09617002580265938,0.07770855240616563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769535329950986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953361844156299,0.0,0.0,0.12606750859768653
bipolarreddit,TheProdius22,2019/04/19,Anyone Here Had A Manic Episode Without Re Occurrence? I had an episode of full blown mania around the end of last year - just wondering if anyone here's had a manic episode without  re occurrence?,8.241666666666667,8.361470944444449,7.491111111111113,73.415,61.77777777777778,10.533333333333337,40.22222222222222,10.125756701596842,4.267655555555555,158,8,26,3,2,49,24,36,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,4,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,5,1,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,3,18,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4536039304100872,0.0,0.0,0.28875160187683635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28728910608904645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643989200744702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6253482007314458,0.3517575482986203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20887896584620386
bipolarreddit,Hypotypo87,2019/04/19,"Lamictal and Long term Eye Damage Is anyone else terrified of the possible long term eye damage from taking Lamictal? Everywhere I search it says that permanent damage is unknown. Lamictal has made me have bad photosensitivity and an eye that sometimes turns inward.
Has anyone been advised to stop taking Lamictal due to being on it for an extended period of time, especially due to the risks of permanent eye problems?
It makes me upset that this maybe a possibility and that I will have to go through the hardships of finding something else that works in the near future.",8.811221122112215,9.68678598019802,8.967079207920793,60.75510726072608,60.4851485148515,12.277887788778875,37.62541254125411,11.855464076750405,5.0844838283828375,468,21,69,14,6,154,63,101,0.233,0.767,0.0,-0.9778,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,0,7,0,2,7,0,9,4,4,2,0,8,15,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,9,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,2,5,4,0,14,11,2,14,0,3,4,0,2,3,0,0,10,46,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27242448473414443,0.1996008269061265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16265410596539565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.325469297355428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17804831521902192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107122170513448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34479273378254616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18432927822192136,0.1300339045288077,0.0,0.19570788786100748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4392269185815555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18640215391044526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15491681964232512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14997046898619507,0.19266720666957549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628657708546202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929383548607363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135924095523472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118919888890162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14182041938531215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwaway15o6,2019/09/10,"Anyone ever been on just antidepressants?(Long)            I'm a new user, so if I'm doing anything wrong, let me know, but I was wondering if anyone has just used antidepressants instead of antipsychotics?  Two years ago I was on Prozac(from my Prinary Doctor) and it worked worked wonders for me.  I was happier, lost weight(slowly and healthily) and became more involved in everyday life.  It wasnt perfect though, and had some drawbacks.
           I decided to see a psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with GAD and Bipolar disorder.  I was put on different antipsychotics, seroquel, risperidone, and then finally abilify, but with all 3 medications, I experienced memory issues, and became very apathetic.  I decided to stop seeing her, and almost 6 months from then, I'm starting to feel more functional.  I regret getting off of prozac, and wish I could go back.  I'm worried if I talk to a Primary care doctor, he will (understandably) tell me to go see a psychiatrist.  I didnt know if anyone has any experience deciding to get only on antidepressants?

Tl;dr- enjoyed life on prozac, decided to see a psychiatrist, and then diagnosed with bipolar disorder and given antipsychotics that made me dull",7.722660098522166,9.50144932019705,8.259088669950742,61.67513546798031,63.18719211822661,12.105418719211825,38.145320197044335,11.765960540728905,5.459597044334977,944,48,137,32,14,313,119,203,0.154,0.767,0.079,-0.9354,1,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,4,7,7,0,0,5,0,14,11,0,2,3,43,39,22,0,7,8,0,1,0,0,1,11,0,0,0,4,14,0,1,10,0,0,3,2,4,0,1,11,6,18,3,21,25,4,23,0,3,4,0,6,7,0,8,13,94,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10467043684966224,0.0,0.11823965827907937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029817402659005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24769199587403154,0.0,0.09716944602024216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079592028116568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039001715187575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427694874120364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396966076477905,0.0,0.12336804528251502,0.27065889263990794,0.2417189388040669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10680975426725303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11550450204620945,0.0,0.0,0.05970459135344455,0.0,0.0,0.12935042512839973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233834301321452,0.0,0.1342147104770355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324441960583675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12978691522018576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207443864830689,0.1668062205870352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10449672622342247,0.0,0.0,0.12889782699696306,0.0,0.0,0.11172976825819783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11895276981050512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09425000654164607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404200908433668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980485320865778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11870260722847464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3763765990216056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835773454105295,0.0,0.0,0.09871982904892312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09490790604562792,0.10320677099051116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160126030049366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153466071165489,0.12292502316209893,0.0,0.10198285829961684,0.0,0.09742803254033758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14378913642760008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13578570735961998,0.0,0.25610456865037123,0.1719267036148674,0.11991556089753845,0.0,0.0,0.12910150117709515,0.0,0.07603938807698858
bipolarreddit,darthatheos,2019/09/10,Weight loss? I switched from Lamictal to Wellbutrin on July 26. I've lost about 20 pounds since. Should I be concerned?,1.658636363636365,4.20995622727273,1.036818181818184,97.42522727272728,100.36363636363636,4.0181818181818185,23.681818181818183,5.985473137389443,0.6068727272727279,95,4,18,1,4,27,20,22,0.226,0.774,0.0,-0.6072,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5956351117689904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.451362529363986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6644476508454878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,C5Jones,2019/09/10,"I landed my dream job. How can I set up a safety net to protect it from any future episodes? I'm a freelance writer, and I somehow landed full-time work blogging for a major tech company.  They're the best clients I've ever worked for and the pay is awesome.  However, they obviously don't know I'm BD, and I've lost jobs before due to either mania or depression, and I'm wondering if there are any safety nets you'd recommend to prevent that from happening again.

I was thinking of giving my boss's email to my parents so that, if I'm ever hospitalized for mania again, they can let her know why I just disappeared.  However, I can't think of anything I could do about the potential for manic outbursts.  And I'm on meds for depression, but it still sometimes keeps me from getting work in on time.  Not to mention I have persistent problems focusing.  But I'll do anything to keep this job from going the way of so many others.",6.584402173913041,6.078639940217393,7.36208695652174,75.05247826086959,65.3586956521739,10.403478260869566,35.24782608695652,9.888512548439397,3.4064256521739136,735,31,138,14,10,246,114,184,0.07200000000000001,0.8220000000000001,0.106,0.4215,6,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,2,6,12,5,0,0,7,0,13,0,0,2,3,29,30,13,0,4,8,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,4,5,2,1,2,3,4,0,0,2,0,16,1,23,25,3,18,0,3,0,0,8,6,0,5,8,88,22,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19960694639710388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24154592104144285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12488400347628455,0.0,0.15401809739896433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11717784421621102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528125016688534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655100088284883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07667730313681388,0.14078787920731728,0.0834084611656957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12978151668471916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4369171457878092,0.2608983511136209,0.0,0.0,0.16131356748425196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500745102403957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16020851006877232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487940510049657,0.0,0.0,0.1630199550715469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16296229092231018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14043180806713465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14515177866910176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172046522043924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18807885584888412,0.0,0.0,0.0855783429616512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649317181564835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13243024984956467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15915757589244814,0.3205343526988506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,juudiiiiiit,2019/09/10,"I admire you all for going through all this everyday I'm Italian so sorry ahead for my poor grammar.

I have never had (or at lest been diagnosed) with any kind of mental disorder. That said, some days I hate myself, some days I can't find anything to live for, I'm just sad and tired. That feeling can go away and I know it eventually will, but it is still hard. Even though I know what those feelings are and how they feel, I will never be able to fully understand how it feels to have bipolar, even seeing it first hand from loved ones. So I just want to say that I admire how you not only keep up with the usual problems in most people's life, you keep up with this and the extra challenge you have to face for having this condition. So just be proud to be where you are, wherever that is, because you are fighting much more than people like me.

Just wanted to say this:)",4.848011363636363,5.167821869318182,5.265909090909093,85.80636363636364,68.94318181818181,7.990909090909091,26.22727272727273,7.686295010490155,1.2579840909090905,683,18,142,7,11,218,110,176,0.10300000000000001,0.7490000000000001,0.14800000000000002,0.9116,0,0,0,0,2,0,20.0,0,6,1,4,15,11,2,0,2,0,18,7,2,3,4,37,37,13,0,3,7,0,6,1,0,2,4,3,0,0,14,7,0,2,8,0,1,2,4,4,0,2,3,10,19,7,24,29,8,17,0,1,1,1,12,6,0,4,10,111,33,1,0.1484202436945504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093085525931617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12213721433627325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13944570464668865,0.0,0.0,0.09047560296930146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914375573651532,0.0,0.0,0.1506434231283828,0.0,0.0,0.17010245780084166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19606034235118905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001829389652453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13565341387739285,0.12624618346606795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687012896749423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329553856434572,0.14653426311040788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638454641879656,0.0,0.15455684428542654,0.1631357688196486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483360742953228,0.07251063407306924,0.0,0.13105779436720533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13395506464753082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14957269683023447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10910595656760982,0.0,0.2289416835100549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10057339827352517,0.11288028340203204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20579181825261456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420181286239414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118163964733405,0.2360594698765743,0.0,0.0,0.11827171819082695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16614431147172493,0.0,0.0,0.1185285983367126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14582213585915846,0.0,0.0,0.17058723662702427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15451070800705188,0.0,0.0,0.16346392977545934,0.0,0.17508421033392396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tartansheep,2019/09/10,"can we have a self care thread? what stuff have you done today to be kind to yourself? 

And if you haven’t done anything kind, can you think of something to do tomorrow? 

I tried a new recipe and it was goood (I made a mango salsa) 

💗💗💗💗",0.16442307692307526,1.8206696730769245,2.0813846153846143,98.66361538461538,83.03846153846155,4.929230769230768,18.09230769230769,5.6839178017228535,-0.5961199999999995,181,4,45,1,5,60,36,52,0.0,0.795,0.205,0.8895,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,10,0,0,1,0,6,13,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,6,3,4,8,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,29,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005746673742976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485059721385379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4988548611310731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5076288631836574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306297094616237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354025774112409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542707011528078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876405420980826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790203902221593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15617673769600107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23103404309453515,0.0,0.0,0.1654813280718567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dandetective,2019/09/10,"Reading recommendations? I have the Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide. Which I love. But are there any other published works that people have read and love? 

It just helps to see things on paper. But I'm more into flat facts over emotional writings. It helps me compartmentalize and helps with coping.",4.562268907563023,8.038666235294121,4.1416246498599465,78.34588235294119,82.72549019607844,6.0515406162464975,24.932773109243694,7.447530270364453,1.7772890756302528,242,9,37,4,7,73,42,51,0.044000000000000004,0.6629999999999999,0.294,0.9378,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,1,9,7,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,5,7,1,3,0,0,1,2,6,3,0,0,0,25,9,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16775778230154856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827283194162569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774932497941892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4960536845259952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4452950391749725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710239101668337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4935138773057202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965801350014368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16388999455391667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17959338967841898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Tigermay06,2019/09/10,"Caffeines effect Does anyone here get effected by caffeine at all, is so how does it effect you and do you avoid it as a result? 

I've found it so hard to concentrate after drinking anything with it in. My head just races.
It also effects me the day after consumption. Making me feel low and my head go into a downward spiral.

I haven't be diagnosed with bipolar however my dad suffered with the condition. 
 I don't feel I have it as bad as he did but feel I some milder case. 

This post was just out of curiosity, any answers or comments would help.

Thank you to any kind strangers who read this post.",3.902371615312792,5.332675016806721,4.8372549019607884,83.93209150326798,71.94117647058823,7.641830065359478,28.348272642390288,8.167268648758528,1.9077723622782448,473,18,92,7,9,154,83,119,0.073,0.8340000000000001,0.09300000000000001,0.7555,1,1,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,0,4,7,6,0,1,4,0,9,5,2,7,1,27,17,11,0,1,4,1,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,9,7,1,1,9,2,0,1,2,4,0,0,3,4,12,2,16,12,2,12,0,2,0,0,8,6,0,2,3,63,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15408160785758507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620503297854628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13472238522409366,0.0,0.15855457289877622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16087503400096614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12425901601639147,0.0,0.0,0.19556040919984166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.337221243694247,0.0,0.0,0.18874751083190647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2922658213005353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21125747952193855,0.0,0.0,0.1006643953867605,0.0,0.10950127312646296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17259837224754632,0.0,0.3954789387223408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12914555521451065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006406857027898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12861162457713082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3690575338392354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927264901326617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17738865460439696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13687032994200055,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,grinndel98,2019/09/10,"My doctor told me that steroids for inflammation can cause people that are bi-polar to spin into mania. I didn't know this, did any of you?

It definitely puts me into a manic phase, most of the time. If I take two or three a day, for three days, it will usually trigger it. 

I have been using it to manipulate my stage when an emergency arises and I need to be better than my usual self. 

I don't recommend it, it has one hell of a cost.",2.4607692307692304,3.633470461538465,4.781098901098903,83.93890109890113,75.15384615384616,7.837362637362638,21.791208791208792,8.418075326091056,1.091457142857143,336,8,73,6,7,118,67,91,0.10400000000000001,0.8340000000000001,0.062,-0.5733,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,1,2,1,0,5,0,10,1,0,4,0,12,15,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,9,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,1,0,4,4,0,11,1,11,9,1,10,1,0,0,0,3,2,1,3,6,55,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16362719332793868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21280537951225265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471790067695486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3103549467478127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462807654730728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322363112586955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784137830451715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16304769082426745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16681290148594313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418856306131225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510150599010746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18091335579975176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14030517796322453,0.0,0.0,0.2299189868472929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350469585538947,0.0,0.0,0.2078150477693474,0.5300092617028498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Cottonteru,2019/09/10,"Possible to have a controlled manic episode? Ok, so this might be a stupid question but I'm pretty sure I'm still hypomanic and I know my sleep is getting worse and the need to sleep is decreasing each night, although I've been getting a steady 6 hours of sleep on average, a couple of days going to 5 and some to 7. I have school to keep up with (I'm still in high school and although it's not as much of a workload as college, it builds up + grandiosity doesn't help on tests either) and I can't get hospitalised again. I'm scared that if I continue to repress the energy and the impulses that I'll either end up in a bad mixed episode or depressive episode, or it might just turn into sudden full blown psychotic mania again, I have no way of knowing. So my question is, is there a way to be manic while staying on top of school work and in a somewhat ""controlled way"" so I can get work done? Usually when I'm in mania, I can't focus or do any work at all so as well as destroying my social life it also destroys my academic life.",5.3802647975077855,4.878034799065425,6.3631308411215,81.20519470404987,67.83177570093457,9.750155763239873,32.319314641744555,9.2995712137729,2.638509034267913,813,31,171,14,12,272,119,214,0.16699999999999998,0.758,0.075,-0.9736,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,6,13,10,3,2,11,1,18,5,3,2,2,34,33,25,0,2,9,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,7,10,0,4,4,0,0,1,5,7,1,0,2,0,11,3,29,27,8,33,0,1,0,0,4,15,0,10,13,114,18,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09197790439765137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821452707924148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603319113197688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25799946837124804,0.0,0.1272625331336584,0.0,0.07417552331272133,0.0,0.09906273611546122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11770085378175273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186965063450668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24036353887710396,0.0,0.06536599514431349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709250763972422,0.12152025739346012,0.0,0.0,0.11326716170570862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223111728541442,0.0,0.0,0.12641909131904974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16247778751195888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24402667375367545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454967286801214,0.08528258281206977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079343147663738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12966276618748732,0.0,0.1170121766928401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25768750683415026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11515064346628227,0.3492056712688226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3452958784201317,0.11724388250822125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225912871443244,0.18370315480737276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084008072341286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510390529362198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667339367187005,0.0,0.0,0.2738820017834998,0.0,0.0,0.10341280419877244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511980996805143,0.0,0.1172106850324729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dietdrpeppr,2019/05/09,"feeling pathetic and like a ""crazy person"" So there's a lot of things leading to me feeling this way. I hate being so dependent on ""the system"" I've been hospitalized 5 times in ~3 years ( a couple of them were extremely short at least). I met with a case manager a couple weeks ago, she brought up the concept of ""supportive housing."" I've also been meeting with a vocational rehab person, someone who's job it is to get me a job because I can't seem to find one on my own.

I also had an argument with my mom like a month ago and I can't stop thinking about it. She told me I was acting manic, asked if I was actually taking meds, said the way I was acting was not socially appropriate, was disturbing to others, said someone might call the police on me. At the time I was just annoyed but I keep thinking about it. I've literally become a stereotypical ""crazy lady"" and I can't do anything for myself. I hate my life.",3.9398170478170513,4.908485335135137,5.905945945945947,78.06644490644494,71.32432432432431,8.71933471933472,29.365904365904363,9.057496981413335,2.457141372141372,717,28,140,14,13,250,110,185,0.11900000000000001,0.828,0.053,-0.9218,2,0,0,0,0,1,26.0,0,0,1,1,8,7,3,1,15,0,17,2,0,2,0,22,34,9,0,1,4,1,2,2,0,1,2,2,0,2,7,6,0,2,6,0,0,4,4,4,0,1,15,4,23,3,20,17,3,23,0,0,0,0,15,8,0,5,10,98,30,4,0.0,0.0,0.12956763895562284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23539113126972386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123576035606705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926115583337692,0.0,0.12412516121688835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093740314013144,0.14663773602644528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13557643754140586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.293822377627623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342683925249065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135243851378352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936859650366098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621723942803305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320262194107448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635141295776246,0.11801505599759453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378174522956532,0.12973270648242835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287915601584762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14748126267854772,0.0,0.0,0.1408515446796136,0.0,0.15550254538628172,0.10597842299006577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997065964842778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23186513965879124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525957254575733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087187321960395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353457120198883,0.22499686089735213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110044676318495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15066962663502967,0.0,0.0,0.09982903700278463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820871547747129,0.17015160586663255,0.0,0.0,0.15484241879937802,0.0,0.0,0.12687062789895276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21077861376247525,0.10650277436536808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550168566797972
bipolarreddit,BrokenAngel0106,2019/05/09,"Why why why 1.why am I so stupid when I noticed something and know its an issue but still give in to it anyways and give the benefit of a doubt to ppl.

2. Why do I say something thinking it's a good idea and then later regret it and beat myself up over it.
3. Why does some ppl want to put their problems on someone who has a mental illness 

I haven't dealt with my damn problems .it a war inside my head.definitely not a safe place to be.

4. Why do I even open my mouth to say anything because it never matters Im alwayz wrong and im the crazy one Wtf",0.2058306399482852,2.262903067226894,2.3581512605042043,94.45981254040079,85.55462184873949,4.333807369101487,20.91855203619909,5.369823440869387,-0.15884667097608274,431,14,97,2,13,145,82,119,0.318,0.617,0.065,-0.9895,0,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,5,11,3,1,8,0,6,2,1,0,1,21,11,9,1,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,8,7,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,8,0,1,0,2,10,3,11,10,1,12,0,1,0,0,6,6,1,2,5,59,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680769324042353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171224974789074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10294755337819317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07770010795681563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22570200752731134,0.0,0.09867084736479764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207325751724696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13280123644494962,0.2541427658973026,0.12278559213263845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06465186532317582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855344687998084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073121729371754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339339153104039,0.0,0.0,0.07971590592695227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122908757562459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22513117734211185,0.0,0.11826068849892175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18710409329780767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967598696752644,0.18113003278723816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09394745287382952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537895942736575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06938711766661977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7430625914558731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12862086833578154,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,crocksyp,2019/05/09,"Meds What do you think about Lamotrigine, Lithium and Mirtazapine for depression? has anyone taken it? 
I'm getting desperate",5.3264999999999985,8.562972650000006,6.420000000000003,57.94000000000002,97.5,10.0,35.0,8.841846274778883,5.7600000000000025,103,6,12,4,4,34,20,20,0.272,0.728,0.0,-0.7476,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3940862600347577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4854328252750402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944607537243478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6260389564931126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3611358210790136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Florence_Olivia,2019/05/09,"Trying to deal with anxiety about neighbors Well my husband and I have been friends with our next door neighbors for a couple years, it’s been especially nice for me as I don’t have any friends that come over and visit anymore. Last fall our neighborhood street had experienced a dumping of feral cats that caused a nightmare of them spraying everywhere outside our homes. Our neighbor then got a cat trap that we used to humanely catch and release them out in the country (which is legal in our area). We caught 7 of them including the most problematic ones. Myself and them we each have 1 cat. When the cat problem was going on I couldn’t just leave a bowl of food out so I only fed her a lil bit just enough for her. I kept this up until all the other cats had gone. To the point now.... sometime after that, my female neighbor (who is an animal lover) started feeding my cat twice a day that I didn’t know about until she texted me one day saying that I need to get rid of my cat because she’s tired of feeding her and that she’s bullying their cat over the food. I took it lightly at first because really I think it’s petty as hell but now it just hurts my feelings and gives me knots in stomach to think about. Our lives are different in the since that I have kids to take care of plus 2 dogs, a house, etc where they  do not have children included. I do the best I can, I feel like I’m getting judged by how I take care of my animals by them now and it sucks.",5.0555630126771085,5.1422071140939645,5.438478747203583,85.55862788963462,68.46308724832215,8.501416853094707,29.307233407904548,8.167268648758528,1.7676190902311708,1152,38,245,14,18,368,172,298,0.087,0.823,0.09,0.6973,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,9,0,7,2,14,14,3,0,17,0,19,8,1,3,1,36,44,17,0,3,5,1,2,1,7,0,1,1,6,3,17,17,5,1,5,0,0,8,4,5,1,4,12,5,46,9,41,31,7,38,1,1,0,1,38,15,2,1,16,171,63,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993259829551037,0.0,0.10116870928949127,0.0,0.13115363889587126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16123327274849852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13878522700371135,0.0,0.14437963825175507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26966957051162793,0.13585425423961892,0.0,0.11391921146897725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632895828652212,0.0,0.17057694498833567,0.1363410067399921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13817012644921176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366466598889749,0.14749053241525464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13373626724834128,0.09447739179982956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11248935991699348,0.31982756223285913,0.0,0.20434764313535847,0.0,0.138187357220875,0.12686351867173504,0.07515910410791217,0.0,0.10577012844687092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13265467621114965,0.0,0.0,0.1525954575441686,0.14157331139687415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267957616723215,0.10779907965718752,0.0,0.14003063896711526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460927839650077,0.0,0.11677665807982512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805958749672017,0.0,0.0,0.1406463464435767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792281855317471,0.10057991836684944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12501630467967245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12654266407831866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472091194122534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516824326771748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939621072347527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13079581486064515,0.0,0.0936052148448768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19886679985794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694772701676109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15199864686080033,0.0,0.0,0.14693145185524809,0.08978713526440635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421907832487335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11890607187585725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516282998290535
bipolarreddit,ZForZimmer,2019/05/09,"Hey everyone. Just joined this subreddit, has anyone else had some side affects from taking oxcarbazine long term ? Currently taking 600mg x2 a day along with 2mg of klonopin in the morning I just feel like my mania episodes have gotten worse lately, and now I can rarely sleep along with other issues. Been taking it for getting close to 3 years now and I feel like it’s just, not working anymore. 
I can’t keep living like this :( have an appointment on the 17th for a possible medication change but until then it’s gunna suck",5.589057142857139,6.941057619999999,5.557428571428571,80.66300000000003,67.8,8.514285714285714,28.285714285714285,8.841846274778883,2.198671428571429,422,14,76,7,7,132,77,100,0.084,0.862,0.054000000000000006,-0.591,1,0,0,1,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,5,4,1,0,5,0,7,2,1,1,0,17,16,5,0,0,5,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,5,3,12,13,2,14,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,1,13,46,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936528139383537,0.13653552252745155,0.20007455075218267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065670422581032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12593133392290054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16312087595368846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18658639091329696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19746615264571413,0.27899817236667307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201916928043904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20380845779974124,0.0,0.17356265777733704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202701586719626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861933989786403,0.0,0.17242471219139785,0.17280552486539433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19671138574568384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22013468024057803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19540844304394828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4404504028513596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14215700974699488,0.0,0.1989941864505161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12574581847658056
bipolarreddit,Kylo28,2019/05/09,"Wife found out she is bipolar as our marriage falls apart My wife was recently diagnosed as bipolar2 and started taking a mood stabilizer. We have been living apart and trying to work on things for about 6 months. Before she seemed to go into a deep depression and moved into an apartment our relationship was great. Very few arguments and lots of love. After she moved out we went to counseling, started to rebuild our relationship, talked of moving back in together and things were looking good. But the whole six months was also a whirlwind, with her depressed and high multiple times. She went to a hospital for depression at one one point, was unfaithful for a short time, and finally went to doctor and was diagnosed as bipolar and started medication. Now she says she loves me but just doesn’t feel it anymore. Wants to focus on getting herself better, which I understand, but doesn’t want to have a relationship. She has only been on her mood stabilizer for just a few weeks. Could this be the bipolar making her feel this way? Should I wait and see if her mood changes or should I just move on? She still hasn’t said she wants a divorce and wants me in her life as a friend but isn’t ready to “do something” she might regret. I’m her fourth husband and looking back she has battled bipolar her whole life it just wasn’t diagnosed. Her basic response is flight but I’m hoping that now that she is on medicine maybe it will be change her thoughts. I love my wife and want her in my life but I feel like I’m grasping at false hope. I’m not sure what to do.",4.8924705527031085,6.3569844883720945,4.956540320144973,83.89546285110242,69.56478405315615,8.130534581697374,29.29643612201752,8.575989854853784,2.1162212624584718,1245,47,240,20,22,388,151,301,0.055999999999999994,0.815,0.129,0.9748,0,0,1,0,1,0,24.0,5,0,0,2,11,19,1,0,12,0,29,15,0,1,1,57,65,26,0,12,13,4,3,1,1,4,12,2,0,0,11,20,0,1,8,0,0,9,6,5,0,3,15,8,38,11,37,43,5,47,0,4,3,3,44,21,0,7,17,167,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06850006176596649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494896267022299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317302564410914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728880000357658,0.0,0.0,0.07575686557924803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18122799875521564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06839033403540795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213293590581524,0.26082087853499875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767381204112679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12993261875662626,0.06119354748178784,0.0,0.09383331663010228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939187395367176,0.06617856909877964,0.0,0.044752371146075866,0.0,0.04868098196085529,0.07184522671356812,0.0,0.0944374065808864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09050157417459836,0.0,0.17015392816752722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18150671978863253,0.04184779945764181,0.0,0.07563690989811145,0.0,0.14386101210400515,0.0,0.0,0.07282272006772418,0.2319270029850961,0.0,0.057176871074045336,0.0,0.08605420803866982,0.0,0.0,0.08629065503709868,0.0,0.09086879253305184,0.0,0.0,0.13674157927865635,0.3641603496702958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608712171742483,0.06514618887168781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097377616670184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08457618812229689,0.27589144978034297,0.0,0.0,0.08147964803492178,0.06811807317473909,0.0,0.0,0.06825772809230868,0.07797913182746408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659431261501351,0.0,0.0,0.1818859004264951,0.0,0.0684059803999473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073093249565319,0.0,0.0644035823165051,0.06884804274774771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381372472075504,0.0,0.0,0.06800227845388865,0.09989484787832152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05815564147555214,0.0,0.0,0.08917220495164356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07067619156976562,0.25261428947339964,0.06799072799646336,0.06870906904155374,0.0,0.0,0.2382153515746468,0.0,0.19126649302190152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062359488967468485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MsHeavenSent,2019/05/09,"Disconnecting from Reality Hi, I'm new to this platform and semi newly diagnosed. I had a very bad episode that resulted in my getting arrested followed by 5 days in a crisis stabilization unit. The last few days I have been feeling that same way I did last year and I'm scared psychosis is coming again. Any tips to help stay grounded and not lose my connection with reality? I already contacted my doctor and have an appt to see her soon. I have secluded myself away from my new boyfriend (he's also bp) because I can get violent and I honestly do not want him to see me in that state if mind quite yet. It gets really scary at times and the paranoia at work is affecting my job. 

I just started Seroquel about 3 weeks ago and I thought it was helping, but obviously not. I have been manic the last 4 days, but I have mixed episodes, so it's really exhausting at times. I'm also getting terrible headaches that I think may be a side effect of the med as well, so those are also making daily life impossible. To sum it up, I'm having a VERY hard time right now and I'm worried about my mental health and maintaining my job at the same time. I'm hoping upping my dosage will solve these issues. I'm terrified to wind up back in that CSU cuz it was worse than jail! 

Any help is much appreciated!",3.695697674418604,5.219901321705429,5.0828604651162825,81.59731395348838,72.6046511627907,8.570852713178295,28.016279069767442,9.120678840339163,2.30688,1023,39,204,22,20,342,159,258,0.15,0.759,0.092,-0.95,3,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,4,14,9,1,1,10,0,21,5,0,5,1,33,43,19,0,3,7,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,13,11,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,6,1,0,7,4,24,3,27,33,4,42,0,1,2,0,8,16,0,3,21,127,37,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278615793822657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795803922262994,0.278184934936559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15770528997605726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10894252917366323,0.08916141064330177,0.0968166836798153,0.07068443621810733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988403881941284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2243420663013224,0.0,0.0,0.11769079270362492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186837552625324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058629788326064775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423245592208253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387194080991677,0.0,0.0,0.12325359964755166,0.0,0.0,0.233164414456919,0.0,0.0,0.11516841059745585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102577155386618,0.23013275645193165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28355377424924605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190168614163466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297227818123895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740014509744536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879867033933615,0.0,0.11685428338791252,0.0,0.11708040914308182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523947644356163,0.0,0.0,0.22397804595334736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333127191054805,0.0,0.0,0.14856610659489816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990240180852559,0.0,0.0,0.11609010689524035,0.0,0.1848005306734905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207278467522819,0.1235914555108582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429859289817707,0.0,0.09205446398897307,0.2704546637487862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19134826301881686,0.06839262901815113,0.09203882817218448,0.0930112441172166,0.0,0.10425650376228547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441583814605742,0.11775683901433133,0.11816695543406534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467052577255645
bipolarreddit,novannon__,2019/03/23,"Being tired I just wanted to know how you guys deal with fatigue, I get little episodes of being so tired all the time and wanted to know what helps you guys with this. It’s really frustrating being half asleep all the time lol 

Side note: I was on medication and it helped to fatigue a bit but since being off it’s gotten a little worse than it was ",4.045633802816901,5.055285112676058,4.739549295774649,86.37411267605634,71.11267605633802,7.370140845070423,21.242253521126766,7.554174236665415,0.605014647887324,277,5,57,3,5,89,46,71,0.175,0.773,0.051,-0.7909999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,3,3,1,0,4,1,6,6,1,1,2,13,12,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,6,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,5,0,9,5,3,7,0,2,0,0,7,5,0,0,2,39,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21986404771878432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076226673988382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052171624407496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39881249081080783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699728898047525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22135567031619305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4036883028368567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028776942013098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901460934085746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16659062168323432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23486247023424944,0.4629328366694036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375682722474728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20523205382092147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Citative,2019/03/23,"eMoods app I have had this app for awhile and recently bought the patron version where I can add personalized trackers. Right now I have (as the automatic ones) depressed, manic, irritability, anxiety, psychosis, psychotherapy, weight, and sleep tracker 

I mainly bought the patron version because I wanted to add personalized categories so I want to know now: what should I add? I’ve only gotten a sex drive tracker thus far since I get crazy when manic, but that’s about it. Any other ideas?",6.291229235880397,8.728851046511629,6.352591362126247,71.39988372093025,67.6046511627907,8.635215946843855,30.890365448504987,9.23628265651192,3.0727760797342203,394,16,61,8,7,125,63,86,0.092,0.89,0.017,-0.598,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,4,0,5,3,1,1,0,12,12,6,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,5,1,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,4,1,8,0,5,7,3,8,0,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,4,37,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17944102803459774,0.0,0.20186025472307464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608530430773599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22727132506304254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786147576665694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29787774169272163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14501635793634193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17880551921181315,0.20068544991971374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4608031867923981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605403425708908,0.0,0.0,0.2253440148777837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21827645244727534,0.0,0.2640611222901688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112753836696055,0.0,0.0,0.32132325265866674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Chamomilesky,2019/03/23,"Accidentally took an extra dose of 200mg Lamotrigine I know to watch vigilantly for SJS rash, but other than that is there any other danger? I'm trying to stay mellow about it, but I can't seem to find any concrete medical response (not that Reddit is necessarily the best source either, but maybe someone else has a recommendation)",9.506994535519127,8.67326286885246,10.136721311475412,58.60322404371587,59.65573770491803,12.06775956284153,35.087431693989075,11.20814326018867,3.982930054644808,269,9,44,6,3,92,51,61,0.125,0.785,0.08900000000000001,-0.09,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,3,0,4,3,1,0,0,8,8,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,1,2,1,7,7,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,29,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.406605559234662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31373965563591805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24974238396489504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732436580964036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16430037757449584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003451008883755,0.0,0.0,0.30117034464131265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721615915096586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25330749873978525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186511555335127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3321551155146957,0.2029739440325096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Sultryspice1994,2019/03/23,"Depressive Symptoms Seem to Always be Present. Hey everyone! I was officially diagnosed with RC Bipolar Disorder around 3 years ago. I have luckily been at baseline with very few manic/depressive episodes for about 2/3 years. But, lately I have become more cognizant of a background feeling of depression that always seems to be present. It is really more of the physical feelings rather than the emotional feelings (e.g. listlessness, fatigue, body aches, flat affect, etc.). I don’t feel “depressed”, but I have been depressed enough times in my life to know what the symptoms are. Does anyone else experience this? It is affecting my life, but I don’t know what to really do about it... 

Meds:
300mg seroquel XR 
100mg Zoloft
50mg Topamax 2x/day",5.836363636363636,8.282007484848485,5.627878787878789,76.0868181818182,68.84848484848484,9.345454545454547,34.72727272727273,9.800150414767053,3.8998090909090894,596,30,96,15,11,185,91,132,0.125,0.8390000000000001,0.037000000000000005,-0.8805,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,4,0,14,9,1,2,0,17,22,3,0,1,4,0,4,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,8,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,3,4,8,0,16,17,5,10,0,5,0,0,1,3,0,2,7,58,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160814572094134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179258791595105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156500690977536,0.13417627356580747,0.0,0.11657545558372115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446267069453388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454586652476151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445350519304777,0.0,0.5639458223768135,0.1329139933937246,0.0,0.0,0.15008286776070748,0.0,0.114597382824041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939397936405199,0.14730389512921058,0.0,0.13530890005487334,0.14604661193936674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251306902188114,0.0,0.12809663659882706,0.0,0.0,0.2648539998492516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439360978985192,0.0,0.1477200821255906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849911946498232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454586652476151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16778300202474106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384284081269933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722194996708071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635943425356202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804949640720857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16865818542377484
bipolarreddit,fairees,2019/03/23,"Wellbutrin making me suicidal? I am a bipolar 18 year old and I have had suicidal thoughts since I was 11, but until a few months ago i was thought to just have severe unipolar depression. I went on 300mg of Effexor, which worked wonders for my depression, but made me extremely manic. I went off of it and was on nothing for a month after the initial Effexor withdrawal (which is not fun). Last week I got put on 150mg of Wellbutrin (bupropion) and 12.5mg of lamictal (although I’m eventually gonna increase to 25mg) and ever since the first  day of starting this my suicidal thoughts have been through the roof. I’m still waiting it out to see if things will get better but I keep getting worse every day. I can’t tell if it’s the medicine or just my life that’s making me feel this way, since it’s been pretty awful lately, I have absolutely no friends at all, my dad is dying, I may have a permanent STD, I get harassed by men almost on a daily basis, I either get terrible nightmares and sleep paralysis every night or I just don’t sleep, I can’t leave my dorm without getting extremely irritated by everyone because I can’t stand noise, I’m always in constant fear that I’m gonna gain weight, and more. I’m scared to switch medications because 1) I’m tired of them just making me worse and 2) I know a lot of antidepressants, especially the ones used to treat bipolar, cause weight gain and I absolutely cannot have that because I know it sounds stupid and shallow but I’m conventionally attractive and thin and that’s literally the only thing that brings me comfort and keeps me going. Should I just stay on Wellbutrin and wait it out?",5.74747678018576,6.214239993808054,6.454010835913312,77.55544349845205,67.01857585139321,9.679814241486067,33.4874613003096,9.642632912329526,3.0904502786377708,1310,56,251,26,20,431,173,323,0.192,0.695,0.113,-0.9851,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,1,5,7,13,2,2,12,1,23,10,2,6,2,54,60,23,4,3,16,1,4,0,1,5,6,1,1,1,17,15,2,4,7,0,0,6,8,7,0,2,13,6,32,6,30,42,6,38,1,2,1,1,5,11,0,8,18,152,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566446263409701,0.0,0.09676979568801024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041122062494553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767303409333779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546916262303844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927466483699154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443220792828932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464805859349047,0.0,0.1664697083927924,0.0,0.1002958139231692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741532450586792,0.16284470883463012,0.09234251183882347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10874551373995656,0.048863479402758266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822009113074247,0.0,0.0,0.0746628947913202,0.0,0.2524489139040021,0.0,0.05492205534175745,0.0,0.07729087403334681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717940060058179,0.0,0.0,0.10622031094838404,0.07877351771279699,0.10901277223566087,0.10232653241650247,0.0,0.0,0.06825884022599801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215884932051994,0.0,0.0914419662909966,0.19352144210581226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735342099785303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542723314558573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068896443457808,0.0,0.09272753202468068,0.0,0.10140616099091654,0.0,0.06548494983684304,0.0734981597822428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09831639876047604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714868273740628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675229450927006,0.0,0.07700860929228769,0.0,0.0,0.10917433339989988,0.0,0.2398218343944083,0.0,0.1934171766426072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840143786980311,0.1030040993347226,0.07717586806802929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3171214762158629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08446656805111996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840504517331294,0.0,0.0,0.23016123033097016,0.0,0.11107208093879208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08346489244784429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670737884356618,0.07751781374121132,0.2353600400537732,0.0,0.1791702658882177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09315635168462398,0.10480065294406983,0.07035419513330712,0.0,0.1969663803262331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062232216800591364
bipolarreddit,throwthisawaymyguy,2019/03/23,"dear people of bipolarreddit, PLEASE help me - what can i expect? hello r/bipolarreddit. good morning to each and every one of you. please, i badly need your help and advice. the benefit of your experience would be absolutely priceless to me. 

my very best friend has always been COMPLETELY stable--in fact she's the rock of our friend group. 

she and i always spoke every single day, ever since we were 11. we would write and share poetry; go to movies together; do kitchen gardening together; shop together; ride horses together; watch tv for hours together; even travel together--we've been to portugal, spain, mexico, the bahamas, peru, and canada. 

we are southern and she really is as sweet as pecan pie. 
i love her like a sister.

her 30th birthday was three months ago, december 28. she was NOT herself: speaking rapidly, having ""amazing"" ideas, vastly inflated self-esteem, incredibly project-oriented, overly friendly to everyone, no filter when speaking (lots of sextalk, really a no-no in AL), said she didn't sleep anymore. it was frightening to watch. a doctor friend who was at her birthday party told me quietly he thought she was manic. he was right. 

the past three months has been hell. she has been hospitalized twice. she lost her job and her boyfriend. she is spending all of her money. all she wants to do is go out to honkeytonks and drink, or go out dancing in the nearest city (formerly she had no interest in either activity). my momma was a raging alcoholic and i have terrible anxiety about drinking (and in general), so i simply cannot go out with her. she is being aggressive to strangers when she is out.

she has de-escalated a few times but not to the point of normality (we went to see a romcom and she laughed loudly at every joke, but very artificially, almost inappropriately). i am so scared for her. before her second hospitalization she attacked her boyfriend and her sister (this is why her bf left). she refuses to take her risperdol.

will she ever be ""normal"" again? she is in denial. after her first hospitalization she told me was fine. i am exhausted and run down from the uncertainty of it all and frankly a little afraid of her. i already know we will never travel together again, but will she ever be my poetry-writing, mint-growing bff again? i really struggle to be around drunk/unpredictable people. even her horse seems nervous around her now.

i am desperate to help her but i feel myself pulling away because i can't condone or participate in the drinking/aggression toward strangers. i cannot speak to her honestly about her condition because she doesn't believe she has it. bp1 is NOT!!!!!! a problem for me in our friendship but her choice to drink and not take meds is. i feel my trust vanishing. it is so heartbreaking. her very religious gamma recently told me she feels her granddaughter is dead.

i have read every single thing i could find about bp1 but i'm still confused about outcomes. i have been there for her as much as i can, was right there after the first hospitalization, have taken her out to flower shows, a dressage event, and dinner (even when she's irritable and delusional), but i am just so scared. i am scared of her.

PLEASE help us. what can i do? what can i expect? 

god bless all of you. god bless your families. i hope you all feel good today.",4.005089213414124,6.654156205930808,4.829621645771091,78.76091140088796,75.07907742998353,8.200921453103621,26.927344818920503,8.985284822729394,2.5393443107251557,2615,101,453,62,59,844,294,607,0.11199999999999999,0.743,0.145,0.9501,2,0,5,0,0,0,118.0,8,6,0,4,27,40,4,7,18,0,66,10,1,0,10,82,93,37,1,11,15,3,4,1,5,5,3,7,2,0,10,31,6,1,9,13,3,11,12,17,0,7,26,15,101,23,64,56,13,65,3,2,3,1,95,27,1,7,28,333,111,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07415306723553106,0.06726667875514437,0.0810970283143081,0.07598696775289654,0.0,0.08373999467612868,0.0,0.12628330534660492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0580511311173294,0.0,0.07525663954328955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351058801293006,0.0,0.08632912218634141,0.07129561275266194,0.0,0.06336005635255414,0.0925164897578806,0.0,0.0645717825539223,0.08549539828964617,0.07963568445740407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956303827600487,0.0,0.0,0.06058728152724072,0.0,0.0,0.04893896872192245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767059494038996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230125947816508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503622031224391,0.20592454692428486,0.25574251864375924,0.07251051239108414,0.0,0.07422921378530921,0.07153677882853393,0.0,0.15347713022532528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935669541692722,0.12909395855115754,0.0,0.0,0.23451147906263026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17250673801697405,0.12729597065660606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20345405878264855,0.0,0.0,0.075370036528221,0.07473055580028425,0.0,0.0,0.08566391568097778,0.0,0.0,0.07530326315237626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04170391848692072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244829998067522,0.0,0.0,0.037073139688467836,0.07605580670955174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283646253711863,0.0645139507585727,0.0684883657016605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429013162465669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113993413083993,0.0,0.055783547067025284,0.0562671008759685,0.05852649836662776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14870061850599725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05142103211207632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243996281149119,0.105216964688722,0.0,0.0,0.24989387268966154,0.07173500527714559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261083823187306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590463835029916,0.0,0.1458398985818826,0.0,0.07492639701998652,0.0,0.0,0.1296092187352254,0.07218315927037926,0.0,0.2279196756784789,0.0,0.06046980537041158,0.0690820373948507,0.07916366917271797,0.0,0.0,0.0627721141946714,0.0,0.07593890562599928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060601142706698224,0.0,0.0,0.07933054069665865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141108031773233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050414026182048974,0.0,0.0,0.06024350147268572,0.04424863072310221,0.0,0.07192925678125968,0.2175315371732524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127923258711418,0.0,0.0,0.1878369966884624,0.04475841005895578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034532376310858,0.06847359997128515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781177914859996,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Fantafyren,2019/03/23,"Recently started treatment, and I was told to double my quetiapine dose last night, but got hit with some kinda scary side effects. Is that normal? So, my psychiatrist wanted me to double my dose from 50mg to 100mg last night, and I did.  As soon as the meds start to kick in, my heart starts beating like crazy and I get this extremely dizzy feeling, like I am about to pass out any second. At times it feels like my body just starts falling, as I lay in the bed. I have taken a lot of different drugs, but this feeling made me panick a bit, thinking I might be allergic or something. A couple of hours in, and the symptons didn't change, so I figured, that if it was something that was truly dangerous, surely my symptoms must have gotten worse by now, and I went to bed. Didn't feel any side effects this morning, except for some pretty bad shoulder pain, but that started while I was on 50mg. Are these normal side effects, and I just have to get used to them? Didn't feel anything like that at all, while I was on 50mg. But I have only been in treatment for like 5 days, so most of you know better than me. I also took 10mg of zopiclone (about 5mg of lunesta/eszopiclone) last night, and some melatonin. I am also on a lot of tramadol and sometimes some instant release oxycontin, due to some pain I got after being admitted to the hospital with acute pancreatitis. Which is actually how I found out I have bipolar. so maybe it had something to do with mixing it? I have been on zopiclone for over 6 years though, and never experienced anything like that. Thanks for reading it all! I hope some of you can help me out, since I am kinda new to this, and can't call my psychiatris till monday. ",5.557678571428577,5.642460363095237,6.02807142857143,81.76692857142861,67.39285714285714,8.505714285714287,30.78809523809524,8.07648339933343,2.042769523809523,1326,47,264,15,20,429,171,336,0.111,0.743,0.146,0.8994,1,0,4,0,0,0,45.0,0,2,1,5,14,14,1,0,8,0,31,11,3,6,5,62,60,30,0,6,9,0,5,6,0,2,8,0,2,0,17,16,0,0,13,1,0,4,5,4,0,1,21,6,35,10,51,34,14,47,0,0,0,0,7,17,0,15,32,187,52,1,0.0,0.0,0.09374741109095376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536492886631243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065753701989094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15810970354553694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021182697142899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496334315265239,0.1048801451716696,0.1067086401510656,0.0,0.0,0.09809501914898958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162601454914023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629616872393756,0.0,0.06195518623658512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003694364098126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140707448361324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24287148959442575,0.13726038778582936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533236868644376,0.0,0.0,0.10038195317363983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15366690983102135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11383970808840252,0.0643916005570712,0.0,0.0,0.09541608194274026,0.0946065195708981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05279584151709196,0.23492197225423034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816005323068933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16334524157288952,0.0,0.09090079886240754,0.0,0.0,0.09651208707507636,0.0,0.1067086401510656,0.0,0.0,0.1019117718614764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409269546898573,0.0927819854211461,0.0,0.27045676015562525,0.18825027894197424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07306318652271326,0.20444385404704454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773454739765616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960928709375691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485444835967988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946751079887247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22187091874036005,0.09501259468811928,0.0,0.3399831389187133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09054189172447387,0.09985026530742053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844547047453627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06155577377013284,0.09438521582615317,0.0,0.05601736670710925,0.0,0.0,0.09179601484506633,0.1067338316362299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297093455241013,0.0,0.0,0.056662731219627525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08905495453695504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790035170347297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06186391710071178
bipolarreddit,jesusthecarpenta,2019/01/26,"How would my BP1 medicine affect an LSD trip? I take Trileptal and Abilify. Recently came into some LSD but am nervous to take it. I’ve tripped plenty of times before and it’s not like my BPD is new, but I’ve never done so on medication. Hoping to get some guidance from you guys on this. Like I said, each of my ~5 experiences thus far have been incredibly positive and helpful to me, but I’m in a good place now and I don’t want to screw anything up. ",2.2327659574468086,3.886949882978726,4.056329787234045,86.90875,76.7659574468085,7.253191489361702,25.57978723404256,8.07648339933343,1.439812765957447,355,13,77,6,8,120,71,94,0.066,0.72,0.215,0.9567,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,3,6,1,1,2,0,7,2,0,3,1,20,15,9,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,7,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,4,1,8,4,12,10,3,15,0,0,0,1,4,7,1,3,7,47,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18580772083577274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19213251008112772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843773394953742,0.0,0.0,0.2582460958540709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23106378783527376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208680727376605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179670919240287,0.0,0.0,0.1893837632950839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22356975170482574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513437350419294,0.0,0.0,0.2242625761644513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22062130247017425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274618612211492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741448445851549,0.21807148908802929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359047648901209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22294253250270069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21478006379369127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3395352300135765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166123269685265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13317807456664688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16039628243834544,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Tomanydorks,2019/01/26,"Should I contact BP ex in this situation? (Cross posted from r/bipolar sos.) My BP2 Dumped me last summer in the middle of a mixed episode. Her stated view was that it was because I had made too big a deal out of something to me when she was in a bad space. She left me on the day I had a pretty significant head injury. Because of various medical stuff she had going on at the time, we didn’t really speak much. We had been planning to marry and move together. That didn’t happen. I was completely blindsided by all this. Three months later, I left town for medical treatment. Even though she said she wasn’t going to do this, she completely ghosted me when I left.
My treatment hasn’t really worked. Eight months later now, I am getting closer to being unable to do my work. It looks like I have CTE. I don’t have a whole lot of support in life, in terms of family and other people, and I’m losing my livelihood. My personality has changed. I am not planning to continue my life like this, and I consider it a matter of maintaining some personal dignity in the face of what’s going to be an unpleasant future. Yes, I’ve done everything I can and I’m continuing to try, but I live in the United States, and there’s not a real viable set of alternatives for me. I will probably end my life later this spring or in early summer, when I can wrap up what I need to do to not leave a mess other people have to deal with. This question is not about that decision. I have my dignity, and the prognosis isn’t good.
And I don’t know, because I can’t tell, whether she has ever come out of this phase, or if she’s still in it.
Should I send her a letter and and tell her goodbye? It’s the only unresolved relationship in my life. It would be especially helpful to hear from people with BP. Would you want to hear from me, or would it be better just to find out from other people? She was having a hard time with all relationships at the time, and I don’t believe at least then she hated me. I think she still loved me. I don’t want to do it in such a way that would feel weird and manipulative, I want to give her something tangible that, if she feels anything at all at this point or some point in the future, will let her feel some kind of closure or at least that she wasn’t abandoned. She doesn’t know how bad it’s been or that it’s degenerating. How do I say it?",3.8700451722190863,4.62583161904762,5.338471673254283,82.85735177865615,71.31884057971014,8.587464709203841,26.023527197440238,8.841846274778883,1.7375623188405798,1844,55,389,33,33,623,213,483,0.059000000000000004,0.8370000000000001,0.10300000000000001,0.9391,0,0,2,0,0,1,54.0,2,1,0,6,16,15,2,0,21,1,54,9,2,4,4,71,81,29,1,12,15,1,4,2,0,8,6,5,0,2,32,21,0,1,9,0,0,7,16,8,0,2,18,11,64,7,61,50,13,74,0,2,2,1,43,34,0,14,30,288,96,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939541719760701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408220513236604,0.15421816147631912,0.0,0.0,0.09500968006474954,0.0,0.07458197077554628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08920868889917971,0.07264179429838469,0.17683428495117262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05438509971280794,0.17387858006264878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629764082979416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746902867689832,0.0,0.0,0.05569837713797319,0.07628022759958758,0.0,0.0,0.07578928797171584,0.0,0.07949768765724156,0.0,0.12791752537279516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707499554053257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044058317506041667,0.08089586917331391,0.14377800135347585,0.07073099656569794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457167942263906,0.0,0.07554204101948549,0.08325723144703047,0.08654567775545857,0.0,0.19008937307201074,0.0,0.05652381712793055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781546843210923,0.0926898062855993,0.06873922729130796,0.0,0.08929202318162675,0.27487046413333466,0.08623191154672373,0.2382557016200744,0.08239758422702531,0.0,0.07446387545789443,0.0,0.0708149533276131,0.09434235683307576,0.0,0.0716933302131572,0.07611003450065637,0.07979394963365732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699047885091636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13462088738207298,0.08962816884336143,0.06199137106490112,0.06252873674306476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641358524724574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338518879950093,0.14726531105657562,0.0,0.0,0.15943594713097228,0.0,0.08076367985628558,0.08579270644608196,0.090920709399922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446755565738377,0.0,0.0,0.09598463643039028,0.1080463774046049,0.0,0.0,0.18107514425620702,0.0,0.0,0.0802159999899332,0.06706164654463441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478910454343506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12984086048894725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346901773734156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653630061852504,0.0,0.09569532300473386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14741417644827196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05403449005227691,0.08285261793126636,0.0,0.14751840446648865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572537197757414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14921793353724566,0.06693627633175737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415009374944547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227847416386178,0.0,0.0,0.2396190403001001,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mistressluxx,2018/12/12,"Severe weight gain?? I’ve been overweight since the beginning of high school but about 4 years ago I lost 70lbs going from a size 18 to a size 6. I felt so proud of myself I got my “dream” body. I felt great better than ever... then a little over a year later I got ill and went misdiagnosed for 3 years. My weight started to come back as I started to get worse. Whatever triggered my bipolar type 2 disorder didn’t hit me like a brick like some say they experienced but I slowly descended into it. I started gaining weight after my first hospitalization. They admitted me to the Psychiatric ward for thoughts of suicide and self mutilation. They didn’t change a single thing with my medication. After being released after a week I gained 100+ pounds in just 2 months. Eventually they gave me my correct diagnosis at my third hospitalization(January 2018) With the correct medication and ditching my shitty psychiatrist for a new one I got so much better. I still have trouble with anxiety and I have terrible insomnia, which I’ve always had sleep issues since childhood. It’s just been getting worse with age and I’m pretty sure my medication may be making things worse. My record is 5 days with no sleep. My psychiatrist has tried a lot of different medications on me for sleep but with no relief. As I’m typing this now it’s been over 24 hours since I’ve slept. And I’m absolutely positive my insomnia is not brought on by hypomania. I’m dog tired but I just can’t sleep. I finally made an appointment to see a Sleep specialist and it’s tomorrow and I’m so ridiculously excited about it. 

But back to the weight issues. I can’t seem to get it off. I’m always hungry and  I’m pretty sure I have a problem with binge eating, I’m insatiable. I’m also pretty sure that has something to do with a side effect of one of my medications.

Here’s my medication list 
Rexulti 2mg once a day
Lamictal 100mg once a day
Ritalin 20mg 3x a day
Valium 10mg 2x a day

And I don’t take the Valium and Ritalin together. If my anxiety is going to be bad for the day I can usually tell early on. So I don’t take my Ritalin everyday and sometimes my anxiety is manageable and I don’t take the Valium everyday.

But once my sleeping issues get a bit more under control I’m thinking about asking gen practitioner about going on a weight loss pill, if we can find one that won’t interact with anything I’m taking so it’ll probably be difficult. 

But do any of y’all struggle with weight issues especially caused by medication? Have you used a weight loss pill while on psych meds? I’m really curious. And of course I know more pills aren’t always the solution.

I’m scatter brained right now because of the sleep deprivation, so this whole post might turn out to not make any sense. So sorry!",3.264053496398557,5.431868501838238,5.138325330132055,77.99731092436977,75.37867647058823,8.926110444177672,26.727040816326532,9.503096391589818,2.664974459783914,2211,85,418,61,49,756,262,544,0.157,0.7070000000000001,0.136,-0.8816,2,0,1,0,1,1,44.0,1,2,4,12,22,22,1,1,29,0,34,37,10,8,6,69,86,35,1,3,14,0,9,2,0,4,19,1,0,1,14,28,9,1,9,1,0,6,13,11,0,5,18,12,51,11,60,59,8,63,0,4,1,0,14,17,0,7,41,246,65,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04646054237058383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04191427852326728,0.13083426223800165,0.0,0.0,0.07128463067372666,0.0,0.12028631798908612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043131043490664364,0.0,0.04899863712677211,0.0,0.0,0.08060399532598038,0.043762270372911666,0.031950189692136165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09270924089928144,0.05722090423632526,0.05821850140728039,0.0,0.05850971346143573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0538421024326685,0.05544550340693601,0.04514875067616949,0.0,0.0,0.05878510522165965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028104617581108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054759934777542575,0.060069296202198474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05363109943327445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04741013091263668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064848968512664,0.05741536090044931,0.047904099707842165,0.04458206828439374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095335274412968,0.0,0.08936174000826391,0.0,0.12575725630442874,0.057784995522630826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05537671191754915,0.0,0.0,0.05161578092438309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188202419469874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028804553870333205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051212225999039865,0.05253112083949623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057214464111486216,0.04455925575905138,0.0,0.04959399987669261,0.06997153688632643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05821850140728039,0.3696007447520248,0.0,0.05560140795662226,0.0,0.0,0.041835178624938366,0.0,0.038529237656033034,0.0,0.0,0.05062034471776858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674528905573296,0.10654825325382512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0501967122472702,0.15996714634790152,0.05650956835036245,0.050151709414931495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03357680658923573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04476001127233953,0.0,0.041680544774820215,0.0,0.053044275011190224,0.0417659977650986,0.047714395668513016,0.054677695909412835,0.059211236336961126,0.0,0.13006855066452722,0.0,0.3671526475506088,0.0,0.0,0.040349723560759714,0.05183732891477949,0.05867153236427833,0.11129356811352667,0.0,0.04185671138423827,0.0,0.0,0.054792952700025474,0.0,0.057330797117437625,0.0,0.14819455790974592,0.0,0.15763078849960094,0.0,0.045810858355572616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964110739074296,0.0335838306700315,0.0,0.04160969152219349,0.0,0.0602404890425548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03558466505962537,0.05700977821972662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04526759466866489,0.057724993177663865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04204216730083196,0.4467703610059033,0.0,0.04858693718423543,0.0,0.05851671410223165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16023852675902467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012558460033482
bipolarreddit,blanca8833,2018/12/12,"Irritated by EVERYTHING Does anyone else find that everything irritates them with this diagnosis? From hearing someone chew, to the way they walk, to going off on people for interrupting you. I feel like a misanthrope constantly. I find everyone to be ignorant or foolish or completely annoying and incompetent. HELP! I know I am being unrealistic  but I don't know what magic pill could help alleviate this irritability. ",6.716285714285713,10.135735771428571,8.370000000000001,52.86500000000001,69.85714285714286,13.142857142857144,37.14285714285714,11.765960540728905,6.5914285714285725,344,19,46,16,7,119,58,70,0.213,0.687,0.099,-0.6812,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,2,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,5,2,0,0,0,12,10,4,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,2,1,1,5,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,2,8,1,9,7,0,6,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,2,32,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15322570423083315,0.2245317802296249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297610031973635,0.2368092759652805,0.0,0.1749630844464392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19176828876916144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18306086672593927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093948198852884,0.3938924590512183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11080226501059222,0.15655153563206847,0.0,0.0,0.4005745447318621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12454062226604976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469833554406185,0.0,0.2937658595208185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24086395784877304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10705928218765956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15192202236168947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856740915631002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17394077177428627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,GelatinousLizard,2018/12/12,"Restlessness on vraylar? Hey guys, so i recently got put on vraylar and the effect its had on my mood has been wonderful. I'm completely stable. The side effects haven't been so good tho. i'm completely restless. It is impossible for me to sit still, every chair in my house has become uncomfortable to sit in, and going to sleep is a nightmare. I'm way more productive now but damn this is still pretty horrible.

Is there anyone on here that has experienced the same thing? Should i stay on it and see if it goes away, or should i try to find another medication? thank you for your help.",2.9636602870813387,5.327885780701756,4.3921690590111675,82.0316985645933,77.15789473684211,8.355980861244019,25.27591706539075,9.095868883498916,2.2471859649122807,465,17,90,12,11,154,79,114,0.106,0.7509999999999999,0.14300000000000002,0.6918,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,2,8,6,1,2,4,0,13,2,1,2,0,13,21,9,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,7,3,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,4,2,8,2,14,15,2,19,0,0,1,0,5,9,1,3,4,62,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20189179808672275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346263244204968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808948189453972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212641953800941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40374269462032897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622206992146772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17597530024212713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10942319567649864,0.1614908735288595,0.15398940153880786,0.0,0.0,0.19064186849633566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12905347084564922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22216181004800745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19396073889327514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19587931429064376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19355283145798485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19010702762569864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15342703529447674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19267601544828372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20521878955275447,0.3075205419958482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17726217156535395,0.0,0.0,0.12791300595378874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13071996250997234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15282688298537134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20879812823401198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,twopolethrowaway,2018/12/12,"I’m way too much too much to handle People come, people go. That’s been my excuse for most of my lack of connections.

The truth is, it’s me. It always has been. When there is one common denominator every form of interpersonal relationship, every form of an attempt at academic success, every medium for even non traditional success, you have identified the problem.

With the problem identified, the next step is evaluating potential solutions. While we all tout the wonders of medications and therapy, we’re fooling ourselves. Bipolar is not curable. It is a mood disorder on a similar severity to schizophrenia. While possible to calm the different phases at times, the disease fights back with such strength. Bipolar, and others like it, is the Harrison Bergeron (spelling, disabled all browsers on my phone so that when they find me they can’t snoop past what i want them to see) of mental health disorders. And i truly mean that in the full analogy. While some see mental health disorders as that, a disorderly way of thinking, I’ve come to find it’s the correct, rational, scientific approach to view the world.

There is no purpose on this planet or any others. I can find none. Sometimes when I type that I get this small voice in my head that says, “god,” but there are so many gods and so many religions that all contradict each other that this cannot be the case. If there is no purpose other than to be born against my will, raised in an unaccepting and toxic environment (mom, dad, not you), go endure however-many-years-it-takes-to-finally-get-a-piece-of-paper-that-allows-you-to-then-learn-a-career, work in that field for forty years and perhaps bring others unwilling participants into this violent system, retire to a meager existence where you discover that the joys you chased while younger weren’t joys and attempt to help others come to the realization that the seldom joy of others in their life is worth the pain birthing them inflicted upon them, and then die senile, weak, emaciated, and poor; then any rational actor would spare himself from this. Any rational, self-interested actor would evaluate the supply and demand of joy versus pain- it’s heavily skewed, and the joy is artificial. We are socialized to find joy in different things, they are not organic.

With that in mind, i return to Harrison. He was too strong for all of the handicaps the government attempted to place on him. This society attempted to have equality not just in opportunity but in outcome. They would handicap everyone, from intelligence to physical strength, from artistic expressions to athletic achievements. And that’s why, if we accept this conclusion of purpose to be true as i can find no meaning refutation, a depression laden mental health struggle is Harrison. We see the world for its truth, and the therapy and medicines attempt to dull and blind our intelligence to this matter, they attempt to incapacitate our will to leave with medicines that make us lethargic, they attempt to alter our intelligence to this Truth with dialectic behavioral therapy that is no different than the propaganda of the early 1930s German campaign. 

Anyways, i am tired. I am a failure. I am a toxic cancer that must be removed. Like Harrison, the handicaps have not worked for me. Like Harrison, i must go- fully conscious of what my actions will cause. Like Harrison, my family will soon forget me. Like Harrison, no one will remember me fondly.
",8.168744508054854,9.078176218390807,8.073852571783608,66.49318066835309,61.85714285714286,11.969662273110552,37.80592908179115,11.633643364451606,4.915363165135579,2763,130,435,82,37,890,294,609,0.16699999999999998,0.71,0.12300000000000001,-0.9879,5,0,0,0,1,0,102.0,8,4,10,17,20,36,2,1,34,0,44,14,1,2,11,80,62,34,1,11,12,2,0,5,0,10,13,2,0,0,42,29,0,0,14,3,2,11,14,11,0,2,4,7,47,24,72,44,15,57,0,2,5,0,35,23,0,6,25,312,89,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061865752032303815,0.0,0.0,0.151683109935586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05717111140098989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637866643688385,0.0,0.19213967576300728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06403816295958258,0.0,0.07716430500402036,0.233042021216192,0.3408494490692348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04910794686530221,0.0,0.1879310554840138,0.0710452956075196,0.0,0.0,0.0700912382368969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3397760383818618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769036105672217,0.0,0.12676567637465588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630528505540732,0.2370940037348732,0.0,0.0,0.04983571785702983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872667311358983,0.0,0.0,0.05251610969979723,0.18162002180182668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049629680440136235,0.15075991294375696,0.0,0.16197945331281155,0.0,0.07490052453054323,0.2247841035169313,0.0,0.07507302840654935,0.08707866026712799,0.0,0.0,0.1093126626946882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907283022313752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10076393908631157,0.0,0.1582288084120846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709761716202261,0.10309085004004674,0.0,0.07768067373873068,0.0,0.0,0.08381926117230087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14228718833677734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982484427448729,0.08422486770615611,0.0,0.0,0.059126673781817525,0.0,0.0,0.17774368389644618,0.0,0.07756401233820527,0.08399514627334194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757911920111381,0.0,0.0,0.07353475951486445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772751189648862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550795712856501,0.0,0.04939531213834456,0.0476409368231276,0.0,0.0,0.04335450055842266,0.08545521089801196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943475708739372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04385397880531442,0.1180322756377078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06708995690215483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063018018470411,0.10825641388657736,0.0,0.0,0.1584498467947672,0.0,0.0,0.04787942358148433
bipolarreddit,in_exile_,2018/12/12,"Depression vs. anxiety Does anyone else have trouble differentiating the two? 

For example, not wanting to leave the house for extended periods of time - is it because I’m having a bipolar depressive episode or because of intense anxiety?",11.869999999999996,12.081154589743596,11.984230769230768,43.87326923076928,54.384615384615394,16.005128205128205,57.96153846153846,14.554592549557764,9.41463076923077,195,15,23,8,2,66,34,39,0.282,0.664,0.054000000000000006,-0.8837,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,15,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4104979406438479,0.0,0.0,0.187601785377802,0.2749053303855379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3271067056768383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4621732546298676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347913721952483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22413044601744714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095824860938181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840912438576195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15644804363442674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620903758635159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15825044923379164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LEAHDONN,2018/12/12,"Experience with Abilify 
I was recently diagnosed with Agitated Depression. I have just had no tolerance for anything lately. I flip out over the smallest things, and fell like my heart is about to beat out of my chest. I have a four yr old, and while I never take things out him, he sees me getting frustrated and over whelmed constantly. I am normally a non confrontational person. Suddenly, I am loosing it and going off on everyone for everything! My dr prescribed Abilify and I wanted to know if any one yall have benefited from taking it. I've read a few scary things, and haven't taken it yet. Have any of yall taken it for outbursts anger, agitation, or anxiety?",4.183939393939394,6.4422170476190495,5.8280663780663815,73.68006493506495,72.96825396825399,10.296103896103896,31.29581529581529,10.436869588844218,3.938374603174603,532,25,94,18,11,181,86,126,0.198,0.7659999999999999,0.036000000000000004,-0.9642,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,1,3,6,3,0,4,0,10,4,2,0,1,18,19,9,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,7,11,0,0,1,1,0,2,3,4,0,2,4,1,15,2,18,15,1,17,0,1,1,0,5,7,0,2,9,70,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26874160232396976,0.0,0.15115898770192132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16260315341520165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213529084897247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17018755612556352,0.20055390795547912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18880968277139984,0.17758488552928198,0.1932849988920773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10323479056622197,0.0,0.11229731182026084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.234150025000952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859258002992699,0.0,0.2228948133853171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653452324493704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15239679359489106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19360031864483496,0.0,0.0,0.2073418267111803,0.0,0.13389491317472585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725315945452338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19764762673998168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19510039008201935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15745695889799788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971324272609781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39381832965086544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654615208073997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Whispy90,2018/12/12,"Living with BPII in secret at work (I work at a hospital) Hey everyone.   Recently got my diagnosis and I am on abilify.   It's awkward because I work at a hospital and have to see doctors I actually work with because of insurance reasons.   I am so fearful my bitchy coworkers will look at my medical record and see my diagnosis.

The nurses at my facility are very ignorant of mental disorders and frequently make terrible comments or judge patients when they see ""bipolar"" or some other mental illness in their record.   I hear them talk.   ""Oh, bipolar.  This will be interesting.  Haha!"".  By the way, I work in a cancer ward.  This doesn't stop them.

I have to bite my tongue every time.    And I am sorry to say this, everyone, but this IS a stigma and 90% of medical professionals won't take anything you say seriously once this damn disorder is in your record.

It fucking sucks.

​

​",3.640785509325685,6.408410603658536,5.512596843615494,72.7225035868006,77.10975609756099,9.22467718794835,32.20803443328551,9.627879704456738,3.946951649928264,705,37,116,22,17,241,100,164,0.172,0.8079999999999999,0.02,-0.9699,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,2,4,5,2,10,3,2,6,1,13,8,0,2,0,17,23,11,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,7,3,0,0,8,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,1,7,21,2,19,18,1,16,0,0,4,1,13,10,3,3,5,79,29,7,0.0,0.0,0.1135593303852353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521714653963473,0.28280207674421864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576174879442514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14187489064088246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667378476209569,0.11910857396361015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804587798283963,0.22239107953018994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309474461605796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758123960129183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307089753043328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13115628904410825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275593438040656,0.0,0.0977206283253193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767719252513074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344589935939677,0.2345451072909851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12392915745957812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964668458763847,0.1149003211335139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850825547128279,0.0,0.0,0.27819301336835944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13026553704568075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09728967136894262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08749498475403937,0.0935329718299826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06785568347089363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960165891623927,0.0,0.09236827355707593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4235899883382778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28280207674421864,0.0
bipolarreddit,bunnycat21,2019/05/19,"How to explain depressive episode behavior/mini breakdown to family? I was supposed to go to my college graduation today with my family. I haven't been feeling well mentally lately, but I just started to realized that it might be the start of a depressive episode last night, as I was starting to connect the dots. The idea of going to graduation was overwhelming to me and I woke up filled with anxiety and feeling really aggressive, so it was obvious I was in a bad mood. I was just trying to keep myself together so I could go and get this over with. My dad asked me to pose for a picture before we got in the car and I refused, since I had put the bare minimum into getting ready and didn't feel like taking ugly pictures. He insisted and I burst into tears and could not stop crying. Long story short, he got pissed, I spent all morning crying and sleeping, and now I don't know how to explain my behavior. 

​

My parents know I have bipolar disorder and of all the treatment I've gotten. I've been hospitalized twice, but I have always tried to keep my family away from my mental health problems and treatment. Now that I've moved back home, I feel like I need to explain my behavior (this is unusual  behavior for me) and I don't know how to explain it at all. I just moved, so I don't even have a therapist yet, so it's not like I can have my therapist help me with this.",3.366521739130434,5.234996204379564,4.990393525864807,80.5023849571565,74.18248175182481,8.560837829260553,29.43129165344336,9.20300075937882,2.754707584893684,1096,48,207,26,23,370,138,274,0.174,0.77,0.055999999999999994,-0.9837,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,1,0,0,0,16,12,2,1,10,0,24,4,2,3,4,55,53,22,0,4,7,2,4,3,0,1,2,0,1,0,9,19,0,4,13,0,1,8,7,7,1,1,15,4,36,4,33,34,3,30,0,3,0,0,12,9,1,1,16,148,45,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886703264045995,0.11571889746404553,0.12977497065319188,0.0,0.0,0.08170251403635792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09984456847309277,0.0,0.10034310597466058,0.08212341814434326,0.08917441906560274,0.0,0.0,0.09087983074441068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17054390238837022,0.0,0.2346318858099241,0.0,0.0,0.1839751827470801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240326077383698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07054108894863248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020475861809361,0.0,0.2160072878020338,0.15259738873521167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159828540145762,0.0,0.18209250077804348,0.0,0.1708371188037978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352452623417275,0.0,0.0,0.07158649527365166,0.0,0.10713016525808113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056539017626725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898593681392053,0.0,0.0,0.1760851986843517,0.0870571136140084,0.1204762409176532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565328008672356,0.0,0.0,0.09451557201894698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21526068525350447,0.11329904073785108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270252368402372,0.0,0.07919162832180612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002255543430587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185899314923338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219418494776512,0.0,0.107364557989616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06841949003465253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834693557850422,0.0,0.10687818451416413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22678300731867435,0.0,0.0,0.08929046343731507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030110110560958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480085109320358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012349113390716,0.0,0.0,0.14502181021669955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602697390006668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977497065319188,0.0
bipolarreddit,BKinGA,2019/05/19,"Are there certain anti-depressants that work best with Abilify? I’m on Abilify, and I’ve done my best not to add an anti-depressant, because I hate the idea of taking lots of medication. But I’m at the point where I know I need to take an anti-depressant too. My doc is receptive to my research and suggestions, so I wanted to reach out and see what anti-depressants have worked for those of you on Abilify.",5.451851851851847,5.819633938271608,6.898370370370369,74.45866666666669,67.64197530864197,11.418271604938273,32.24938271604938,11.20814326018867,3.8011708641975295,323,13,62,10,5,111,54,81,0.046,0.807,0.147,0.8,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,4,4,4,1,0,4,0,4,1,0,0,1,14,13,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,8,3,13,12,3,6,0,0,1,0,2,6,0,1,0,44,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361051791232772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3911714064891969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6420870243558975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907230557431548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18400356535367196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21039107411843525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10242506585954804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15844663751150426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18774997866844603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13819232633389986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618158932118075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14851419296536647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28025679491937483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992691488918407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27136177650717386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Risperdoll,2019/05/19,"I feel like my entire world is breaking apart I'm going through too much shit. I haven't been able to talk about this with anyone and I need to. I just have to word vomit and have someone know what's happening even if it's strangers. This is probably gonna be long and dumb and confusing. So thanks for reading if you do.

About 2 weeks ago I found out my boyfriend had cheated. It was never physical and I believe that but he was messaging people sexually and exchanging pictures. We had an understanding that he could talk to people sexually but only regarding me (we do BDSM stuff and a big thing for him is showing me off). Something like this had happened last year when we hadn't exactly set the boundaries on what kind of messages were okay. I asked him to delete his kik and he said he did. He didn't use the app for months but redownloaded it later with my knowledge to send pictures of me. I asked him to at least make a different account and I thought he did.

How I found out was I saw him advertising in a 4chan thread to talk to people. It was about me (offering to send people pictures through kik), but it also including an offer to ""come over and fuck"". He also used his old account that I thought was deleted. I was just really shocked. He has his own share of mental health issues that have been especially bad lately (depression and substance abuse). He relapsed on heroin about 2 months ago after being clean for 1.5 years. I did it with him. He didn't go on a full spiral and has only gotten high a handful of times since then and only once on heroin, again with me. At least he's not IVing. 

Anyway. He's been having a lot of issues lately and he's always had a kind of unhealthy relationship with sex and his sexuality. He's bi and there's a lot of internalized homophobia going on with him and before me when he was still using drugs he was really promiscuous and hedonistic and it's something that he has a lot of self hate about. 

I truly believe he never cheated on me in person. We're long distance ish (200 miles) and we're basically always talking. I don't really know why I believe that but I do. But he was sending pictures of himself to people and receiving them and having conversations that went way beyond ""showing me off"" and talking about me.

Ever since I found out he has made no excuses. He knows what he did was fucked up. He never blamed me or said anything bad about me. He kind of went into a tail spin of freaking out because lately his unhealthy mind had been making excuses for himself doing things that he knew he shouldn't (the drugs, sexting, other stuff I haven't said). So once he was confronted, everything he did kind of fell on him and he realized what he's been doing and that there was no excuse.

I freaked out understandably. I have a lot of issues with self worth so this was more than just breaking trust. I was the one apologizing a lot and begging him not to leave me and saying I'll change. He kept assuring me it was not my fault and that there was nothing I could've done. I didn't break up with him and I won't. I know many people would say I should, but I won't.

When this was happening he was doing meth. He had been awake for over 48 hours straight at this point. We talked a lot about what happened and discussed where we were going to go with it. He was still getting high and not sleeping and he wasn't making sense and I was really worried. He started hallucinating after being awake for 4 days. During the last day of him using it he was in a complete stupor every time I talked to him. And after he stopped he didn't remember anything from that day ish.

The next week he visited me. Our anniversary was that week so we wanted to celebrate somehow even though things were still very rough. Him being there was healing for me. I checked his messages and there was a conversation where he had asked to exchange pictures. There weren't any sent but it still happened. The day the messages were exchanged was the day he was basically psychotic from drug use and lack of sleep. He said he didn't remember it and started freaking out again because he didn't remember. I think I believe him not remembering.

So things have gotten worse. I've been on the verge of breaking up with him multiple times since it began. I know I'm not going to break up with him. Honestly if he would have asked I probably would have let him do it. He has brought up breaking up for my sake because he doesn't want to hurt me anymore. I refused to.

He visited again this week. Came down on Wednesday and left yesterday. The visit was amazing. I was feeling so in love and happy the whole time. We went to the beach and stayed out all night just driving around and talking. We did stupid stuff. We did meth together. That probably added to the love I felt. Like I said, his presence is healing.

When he had to leave it all came crumbling down. I know the only way I can heal from this is to be with him and spend time with him. But when he leaves it's like a medicine I'm using to help is taken from me. I was panicking. He was trying to reassure me. The come down from the meth probably made it worse. He left and I've been having a melt down since.

I'm 20. I live with my mom still. Today I missed my cousins graduation party because I was scared of being around people. I didn't want anyone to mention him because I would undoubtedly freak out there and unload all that's happened to anyone who'll listen. And they won't understand and they'll hate him. I don't want that. Because I didn't go to the party my mom has been mad. She's accusing me of faking my mental illness and calling me lazy. She threatened to take me off my meds. My psychiatrist is over an hour away. She has the authority to make and cancel appointments. She could have me quit going there. Whenever I don't do something she says or I upset her she threatens me with not letting me see my boyfriend. I don't want that to happen.

The past 2 weeks have been insanely stressful. Because of the drug use and the stress, my boyfriend has had his heart condition flair up. He's been to the ER and was unable to drive for a while. Lately I've been hallucinating. I'm not on an antipsych. I think the stress is making me psychotic.

He hates himself. I hate myself. Maybe him too. I'm not going to break up with him. I don't want people to tell me to break up with him. This almost didn't feel like cheating to me. More like him succumbing to his mental illness and self hate and drug use. I can forgive him, I know. It'll just take time. He doesn't want to keep hurting me. Him coming and leaving isn't healing. It's like I'm getting help and then continuously having it ripped away from me.

I don't know what this post is about. I just needed to get it out. And I love this community so much. You've all always helped.

I don't know if I'm asking for advice or empathy or what. They're welcome if you wish. I need to know I'm not alone and keeping this inside isn't helping.

Thank you for reading this novel",2.222337717262364,4.465167777224202,3.4644955902831533,88.35763564392185,79.05693950177934,6.2646345866212805,23.63311671566352,7.396376216083023,1.0211261540048475,5537,189,1122,77,138,1796,442,1405,0.132,0.774,0.094,-0.9953,1,1,11,0,1,0,139.0,10,3,3,1,59,60,15,6,46,1,153,25,5,16,11,228,280,93,0,25,34,3,6,7,0,13,13,9,1,4,66,99,0,5,32,6,8,29,44,34,1,1,104,17,168,26,162,153,20,175,0,4,2,7,184,65,4,18,75,751,234,3,0.03307539986410188,0.03918894030955036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03232089794690776,0.05863869264819034,0.0,0.03312023523228643,0.03425613924052335,0.0,0.05290077064301888,0.08256414690591682,0.0,0.0,0.022492406111379044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032801909040121244,0.06938126587899605,0.0,0.05443647176288907,0.0588882365420741,0.15460517011076452,0.0,0.062150853895815636,0.0,0.05523315465229956,0.14113719733675875,0.0,0.028144729166040886,0.1490585970920342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03377368131264685,0.07565889211493923,0.0,0.0,0.03498938741470675,0.08547458486061182,0.03467892747169453,0.0,0.0,0.07922404626511034,0.0,0.0,0.10665448326392744,0.0,0.028487793437092762,0.0,0.0,0.03455675311797827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033847617594530616,0.0,0.0,0.19178481548941215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04369197933742774,0.029918592779458717,0.027867450915804656,0.0,0.0297260366837599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05017174792757734,0.047258144543383535,0.03175757078487875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087964062635738,0.0,0.06115534840893861,0.05184159387662149,0.0,0.16917760769092272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047392680664785,0.03520937818989781,0.0,0.163275548723082,0.0,0.035157603380114165,0.0,0.039194508090802035,0.08867897331760405,0.06989195184377567,0.0,0.0,0.06514521266840717,0.0,0.07081579927242443,0.0,0.0,0.10356637259837592,0.0,0.0587978702440775,0.0,0.13777175671520378,0.18177374768876225,0.05392173080811355,0.14924196683887786,0.1400882909814245,0.07187303745932114,0.0676436745758918,0.0,0.11311278769434313,0.0,0.029206184049418306,0.0585413761151904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16871713306180364,0.08955551918153963,0.06259348616224998,0.11039043121988552,0.03353326407291299,0.03322868479939154,0.0,0.0367393129338629,0.0,0.09999667093782846,0.0,0.033396725126118694,0.07747501714046323,0.05280093722760981,0.0,0.04862844920879928,0.0735749697070849,0.0765293622267556,0.0,0.03517606298770271,0.031039022183425306,0.0,0.03173673821807307,0.0,0.034707068276247206,0.0704484427819858,0.02241274694599197,0.10062132812499723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03157421172978985,0.18344254147632094,0.02888016338368808,0.0,0.0,0.03126694378560466,0.0,0.031677090184820636,0.0,0.14264350096252087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035179759086916,0.06616870107407878,0.0,0.08475579238784442,0.0,0.0,0.035510601331192736,0.14987192152865467,0.0,0.1573113973055877,0.0789086565638312,0.033114245314124505,0.0,0.02635681140523291,0.0,0.10351456660479956,0.0,0.03395142265423288,0.10944125023734544,0.0,0.06619857304464218,0.0,0.028024678971124064,0.07638917619965897,0.0,0.0,0.04682187652392028,0.03525397543314745,0.13207028528353762,0.027652515304756632,0.11366327638265268,0.0,0.11359025887293005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04973716882700612,0.2126780282950872,0.028909357338486544,0.060902768749495136,0.0,0.0,0.08789530392032051,0.04238676141360979,0.03249641243350248,0.052516345868160716,0.11571918987646596,0.0,0.031351611666173416,0.0,0.0,0.02245602538145692,0.0,0.0,0.10329797317546864,0.0,0.2285322069231233,0.0,0.0272906688239793,0.1365610945573585,0.052507425757969205,0.13265545346809002,0.0,0.0,0.09198368112682162,0.02984540382800045,0.0369275027576445,0.03803507752295947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03358967408011156,0.06741331634396643,0.0939832603355022,0.0,0.0,0.0425989461858006
bipolarreddit,sara_in_canada,2019/05/19,"Blank mind - suggestions, please I have BP1 and have been on meds since late 2006. I've had 12 major manic episodes since 2002, and been hospitalized for each. Lately they've lasted months and have been very destructive in terms of personal relationships and educational and volunteer opportunities (I haven't worked since 2016). Most of this time, I've been on Seroquel at various doses under 400 mg, since it seems to keep mania away the longest and doesn't make me depressed or give me akathisia or other movement disorders. However, I feel very empty most of the time, like I can't think anymore. I try to pay attention to what's in my head, but nothing's there, just this empty space. Lately I've been comparing it to a huge block of ice. I just stare at it and stare at it, but no thoughts come. However, for some reason I am able to talk about it to others, and I feel extremely upset by it, like I'm boxed in, so I don't feel emotionally apathetic. I often cry because I'm so frustrated with this lack of a stream of consciousness.

I've told my doc about this problem, and we've tried other meds, but nothing else seems to help. I felt less foggy when I tried Tegretol, but within 2 months I was severely manic. I felt even more foggy and unable to do things on lithium, and it still didn't prevent mania. Lamotrigine (Lamictal) might help my depression some, but lamotrigine by itself didn't stop mania either. A long time ago I tried valproic acid (Depakote), and I had a lot of panic around then, but I'd also come off Seroquel pretty quickly in the hospital, so it could have been withdrawal symptoms. I've also tried several antipsychotics, including Zyprexa (made me eat the fridge), Risperdal (akathisia), Geodon (akathisia), Invega (akathisia), and Haldol (akathisia, beginning signs of tardive dyskinesia). I took cogentin with some of the drugs that gave me akathisia, but it made my mouth extremely dry.

I feel like the only drugs left to try could also give me akathisia/TD - drugs like Latuda, Abilify, and Vraylar - or else are extremely sedating and weight-gaining, like clozapine. I suppose I could also give valproic acid another try, but I'm terrified that it will put a lot of weight on me. I already gained 80+ lbs on Seroquel, and lost about 10 of those. I don't feel my 5'6"" and 215 lbs frame could handle any more weight. I already have severe foot problems that limit what I can do in life.

Am I right or wrong to suggest that my blank mind could be med-related? I also had a lot of hospital-related trauma and childhood bullying, so could that contribute since sometimes trauma can lead to a ""freeze"" response? Am I doomed to be like this my whole life?

My psychiatrist seems to have given up on new ideas. I have an episode every year or two, sometimes twice in a year, no matter what we do. He seems content to leave me blank on Seroquel (300 mg), even going so far as to suggest doubling the dose if I feel mania coming on! If I feel so awful, and routinely cry, because of the blankness of 300 mg, what would 600 mg do to me?! I hate to think about that.

Please, give me any suggestions you can think of. Basically, how I can prevent mania but not have a blank mind. Are there mental or emotional techniques to get your thoughts back? (Sometimes I can identify inner images and follow that, often leading to trauma memories and emotional discharge. After experiencing a big release, I had a few days last week when I thought I could think a bit more.) Any mood stabilizing (anti-manic) options I haven't considered? Any add-on medications that could bring my thoughts back? Anything else?",7.354512166679619,7.351954740029543,7.201880199020447,75.1605408924823,63.63810930576071,10.435030708232917,34.95020601725881,10.064110947511567,3.4247158050221564,2857,116,518,56,38,909,308,677,0.158,0.765,0.076,-0.9969,2,0,3,0,0,0,118.0,1,2,0,7,31,23,3,2,21,1,54,15,3,7,0,116,100,54,0,14,21,0,12,6,0,3,9,0,0,1,33,29,3,6,25,0,1,11,11,15,0,2,26,17,58,7,69,61,22,70,1,4,2,0,19,30,0,24,35,324,91,4,0.05160998525652237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04574913796158617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11390580418830965,0.20636243281733416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14038623902496028,0.05411756949897505,0.0,0.0,0.05118323735773871,0.0,0.0,0.04247062041038289,0.04594382883058718,0.0,0.0,0.04848928004532863,0.07936978593599195,0.0,0.06292193597162339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05634473703113292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333722973142756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.329650989476892,0.0,0.11338229077216347,0.033284170902904205,0.0,0.08890320935318102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059149514383407514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17955359343503186,0.05280989936436651,0.12934056069948474,0.17416286069844725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06817581703313917,0.0,0.04348363849903203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18266891476572367,0.036870183779422236,0.09910735874546096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026964087172945874,0.19803600244347452,0.029331143973858626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05095417559256575,0.05296673435429894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06918617045129652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05826139136561754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04587332623157925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841380525540768,0.1746549340262534,0.05464752249306673,0.05607439998999037,0.0,0.07290731775054851,0.15128419125171932,0.0,0.0,0.04567321288049903,0.0,0.0,0.056338395517566385,0.13163089162367184,0.0,0.09766923185391936,0.03445006591683205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719811769449862,0.05199163050011825,0.052010726340494015,0.054750038498829125,0.1563341182682858,0.0,0.08238919568755156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049845245362923285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904234556526577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039251719422590106,0.0,0.06055319770600244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04506384843606402,0.0,0.11330453124792295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05250590913050382,0.0,0.09876757161947222,0.0,0.05188228995638308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05306366047461138,0.0,0.0554098096677044,0.0,0.04407464541690155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18793516896820345,0.0,0.17491377942484912,0.0,0.21346156563533605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15313078524781967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04121580089319452,0.04314825861661586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053642535791942995,0.0,0.04148215119769705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03428738093933601,0.13227837853004493,0.0,0.16389025360953413,0.0902825923187564,0.0,0.0,0.04931555260993637,0.0573405925976261,0.2452785455454047,0.0,0.05041545637146064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516728574307451,0.0,0.0,0.041398417106461305,0.1885411746943952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05762070544007835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03757268393870606,0.0,0.0,0.03666225276341705,0.056427417006790326,0.0,0.0664702768107338
bipolarreddit,gigee4711,2019/05/19,"Personal Experience with Low Dose Lamictal Does anyone have experience with low doses of Lamictal (around 25mg) being effective? If so, please share how it went. 

I was on a relatively low dose 100mg but felt it was effective at an even lower dose when I first started it. We upped it because I think that is the standard treatment process for this medication. I ended up stopping it because I had really bad memory/cognitive problems from it over time. Side effects aside it worked great. Wondering if a really low dose has helped anyone long term. Thinking of talking to my doctor about it and seeing if it can be effective for me on a low dose and hopefully not cause the side effects.",5.956189236111111,7.429761476562502,6.826979166666668,71.44788194444446,67.046875,10.68888888888889,33.75347222222222,10.746095033038511,4.0790493055555554,551,25,93,16,9,183,87,128,0.161,0.6829999999999999,0.156,0.3183,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,7,6,10,0,0,6,0,9,8,0,7,0,26,17,9,0,5,5,0,1,0,0,0,8,0,0,1,11,6,0,1,9,0,0,1,1,7,0,1,5,2,8,3,16,10,1,23,0,5,1,0,5,14,0,5,8,62,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25323308399391264,0.0,0.0,0.16120111345893148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15119566406847024,0.2207714593622312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18602079743076827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18534480328207645,0.15846582471597465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16038464716787593,0.0,0.0,0.11960276163790028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35426531848713705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17386683901174868,0.0,0.0,0.15402801002703828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19964322455824302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137525317963238,0.0,0.0,0.17985499666131308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16025161504784313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18242077207080026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15811356453169176,0.0,0.19877333977166964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17327074085838873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320111605864253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14429867814822372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817056636599894,0.0,0.0,0.1513924178687899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14554661925104184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23205969602808935,0.0,0.0,0.10559020132611137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16786455935729286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19637539007491897,0.13182964155846827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,madeitforreaons,2019/05/19,"Manic depression? I'm just starting to realize now what that truly means. 
A few years ago, a psychiatrist told me I had manic depression, but didn't get much into it after that. I did research on it, but ignored my diagnosis for years. I wasn't taking my meds regularly, and found myself manic a lot of the time. But I thought it was normal. I thought to myself ""everyone must feel this way.""
I stopped going to that psychiatrist, and my therapist. I thought I was fine. 
Until a few months ago, when I was in one of my worst manic episodes. I won't go into too much detail, but I broke up with my boyfriend and tried to kick him out of our house. Luckily, he knew I was manic and wouldn't leave. I knew after that episode, that I needed help.
I'm back on meds now. My family doctor noticed I was manic at my appointment and immediately told me to get back on them. Effexor 150mg, olanzapine 7.5 mg, and Seroquel 75 mg.
It's only been maybe two weeks, but I already feel a difference. I'm planning on going to a community mental health clinic tomorrow, to see a therapist and a psychiatrist.",3.206966408268733,5.0227402418604665,5.2590310077519415,78.63231912144705,74.48837209302326,8.498708010335918,27.29328165374677,9.150863307647796,2.4185297157622747,852,33,164,20,18,295,116,215,0.095,0.8390000000000001,0.066,-0.7893,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,1,0,1,1,7,6,0,0,9,0,13,3,0,0,1,34,36,14,0,4,6,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,11,11,0,2,10,0,0,3,4,5,0,2,18,3,30,1,25,15,6,32,0,3,1,0,7,10,0,1,18,115,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22661145341246786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14105380445038376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965731306576076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22018431802445654,0.0,0.0,0.13354588405071746,0.0,0.13083035116778946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12213857518102662,0.0,0.0,0.1204983932816852,0.0,0.1292604161138092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014928048367534,0.0,0.0,0.13356253814732846,0.0,0.21793109539290653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13586789269444322,0.0,0.0,0.08567581456494103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14748843185976526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13534412941225854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866896074947416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12841351362575573,0.13923469152357532,0.2839609385996461,0.0,0.1288136434281442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020256130067252,0.0,0.18792648769498885,0.09477775434121624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523757641445865,0.0,0.1455252130053666,0.0,0.0,0.08661491126463293,0.0972137354233892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185689806715813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047245949225756,0.0,0.0,0.10686419496623614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961055883708978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29682038646975045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.304427117854486,0.07453353358037551,0.0,0.0,0.24427715036205325,0.0,0.0867821624211512,0.0,0.12486267885946248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014584698992932,0.1025304069920174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164625244408509
bipolarreddit,xJayhov,2019/05/19,"Does it ever get better I feel so alone in the world right now after coming down from my mania again. Why is it like this even with medication. I feel like an angsty kid by feeling like no one will ever understand this because most people don’t have bipolar, but I can’t shake it. I’ve lost most of my friends and just stay indoors unless I don’t skip class and go to work. Sorry for the rant.",4.576097560975608,4.6237985609756125,5.196243902439028,87.01826829268295,69.48780487804878,7.5356097560975615,24.936585365853663,6.742157984588678,0.7743970731707313,310,7,67,2,5,100,64,82,0.146,0.706,0.14800000000000002,0.0513,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,3,7,7,0,1,3,0,6,2,0,0,2,15,14,5,0,0,3,0,3,3,1,1,2,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,4,0,0,3,4,2,0,1,1,3,6,5,10,12,2,13,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,2,8,44,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21221009938488355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490248604342442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18121355114159213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17649945917523838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793055634738703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353316439487967,0.3706796905866264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108041901414765,0.2927549856065857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15830187038710014,0.0,0.1070495200055956,0.0,0.11644691932189542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003049937136432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22366780523139745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064108105588016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13884259470988006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14204884445959154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17497976497532092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293639043426173,0.0,0.2183914999250852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133035969592657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18488645401784626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14916647298915434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Oakridgegirl,2019/05/19,"Uppersdownersallarounders Can anyone recommend a good  mood stabilizer?I have an upcoming Drs appt.I am taking Effexor 75 mg.It doesn't seem to be working.I am alternately hopeless,crying jags,insecure all the way to occasional paranoia,listless,staring into space,cant complete the simplest task...then belligerent,fuck you-I am fine,list-making,projects,high hopes,etc.Any suggstions,please.And does any of this sound familiar?",6.623838028169015,10.347487774647886,6.152940140845073,66.75645246478874,72.66197183098592,9.183802816901409,35.63556338028169,9.516144504307137,4.59439295774648,356,19,48,10,8,110,63,71,0.0,0.893,0.107,0.6966,1,0,0,0,0,1,23.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,0,7,1,0,0,1,3,9,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,8,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,17,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4036532823400402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075217117448616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3111775332675477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32600868964998325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25972198165790034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3309980955285584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743765717602379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489324628755858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31357378609462544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701854838053521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231483300619947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355772282595821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Welsher808,2019/08/09,"Career in IT with Bipolar? Hey everyone, I’m 21 and am diagnosed with BP2. I’ve been looking to shift into the tech field and ultimately plan on going into Cybersecurity. I was curious to know if anyone in this Reddit has a career in IT and how it is working in that field with this disorder. It seems like it’d be great for some and not too great for others. What are some of the things you like/don’t like about this field? I hope this helps anyone else with a similar situation because there’s not a lot on this topic.",3.6585,5.072340980952383,5.262083333333333,80.713125,72.52380952380952,8.29761904761905,24.55357142857143,8.841846274778883,1.6912142857142851,413,12,83,8,8,140,69,105,0.027999999999999997,0.778,0.19399999999999998,0.9561,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,2,4,5,0,0,5,0,8,2,0,1,0,20,14,6,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,14,10,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,3,5,18,10,3,9,0,0,1,0,3,8,0,6,2,60,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3059374590041025,0.22415521812722145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13335986402853292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220464497154043,0.0,0.0,0.25072881416370896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827538554655661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090436439692209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433175526955073,0.0,0.0,0.4823883188201628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14663659249456115,0.0,0.0,0.21728748787451554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12023000253096015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3206391994056654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18371129165109787,0.0,0.0,0.18599001591224695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19915954740396036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24590609767916316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453407429175892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15926681033821366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FlandersFields2018,2019/08/09,"How do I fight erectile dysfunction and keep an erection/become hypersexual while on meds? Hey all,

I'm currently on 200 mg of Lamotrigine and 250 mg of Seroquel. Ever since becoming medicated I've been dealing with problems keeping an erection, and even when I have one it's somewhat soft and getting rock hard is almost impossible. It's getting to the point where it's causing problems in my relationship, and I don't want to lose my girlfriend over a lack of sexual compatibility caused by meds. At the same time, I don't want to go off my meds for obvious reasons. I know this might be the price I have to pay to remain functional... but I want to do whatever I can to fight it. 

Do any other bipolar bros have advice on how they were able to deal with ED and/or become hypersexual (or at least sexually functional) for at least brief moments of time despite being on anti-pyschotics and other meds? I know everyone's neurochemistry is different but any input would be very helpful. Thanks! (I've posted this on r/bipolar as well in case you're seeing it twice, hopefully that's fine with the mods)",5.852,6.9220848666666654,6.8361904761904775,72.76714285714287,67.0,9.80952380952381,33.57142857142857,9.957137785484203,3.4242857142857144,882,39,158,20,14,295,128,210,0.08900000000000001,0.818,0.092,0.8263,2,0,0,0,2,0,25.0,0,0,1,1,7,9,2,0,7,0,18,2,0,5,3,36,32,14,0,8,3,1,2,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,10,9,0,2,3,1,2,2,2,5,1,2,2,3,13,4,31,25,6,24,0,1,1,0,10,14,0,5,7,104,23,1,0.1151135296650695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11248760891477973,0.0,0.0,0.11526957184465805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15656229516675735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3814015485130903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23650660889428274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23735398893312226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202691378341373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07603140068222368,0.1041267779560032,0.0,0.10999591067691253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028413622854722,0.0,0.06542167170099114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311911197839398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715817244543167,0.0,0.0,0.11433370875880355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046363886270226,0.0,0.0,0.12652677085008765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878259479468065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5114607238809673,0.11596477058001735,0.0,0.12211726373438887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800390686261471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881949351447384,0.0,0.11024694110050932,0.0,0.0,0.22029620293542204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835588062698375,0.0,0.12358885082442556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173057934413292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522310128933834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598107212513128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342472497323713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09498071763777398,0.2036908268555092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350088774804693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177334870554975,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hazey_28,2019/08/09,"Seraquel I’ve been on trileptal and trazadone for a few months now and I’ve evened out for the most part. I was prescribed seraquel to replace the trazadone and the reviews of weight gain have me absolutely terrified. I took it for a few days, and the result was terrific: calm, focused, and able to be “somewhat” normal. However, I am already overweight. I’m a little over 5 ft and when I started I was 160. Now, after a few months of treatment, I am holding steady at 185. I’ve made changes to my diet and added in exercise to my daily routine (by the way who knew just having a daily routine helped so much?!). But this my predicament: take the meds and find a new normal, as best as I can, and gain enough weight to join the obese category, or not take it and try to get healthier and then start? I feel like I have to sacrifice one healthy for another: my body or my mind. Anyone else?",2.92876893939394,4.7626496420454565,3.870090909090912,88.21430303030306,75.30681818181819,6.738787878787877,28.21060606060606,7.554174236665415,1.5936883333333332,691,29,141,9,15,222,108,176,0.038,0.81,0.152,0.9609,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,3,6,3,0,0,13,0,11,7,1,2,0,28,21,19,0,2,5,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,12,5,1,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,7,3,15,3,22,13,9,19,1,0,0,0,2,6,0,4,12,97,19,1,0.1587922858159136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752312360181861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16650755703244052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103125834703187,0.1627014620225702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16664270725829353,0.0,0.0,0.17638243238310922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16798118328752404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240788779321996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13265057901812075,0.0,0.0,0.16407487910145585,0.0,0.10488080717569592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029015088286838,0.11344124071508765,0.0,0.0,0.14513327247093252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296241542891197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643512198467812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07757788994148311,0.15915158661783585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15025310027586455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17638243238310922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033494208176952,0.0,0.2534929751429748,0.0,0.11673060094927395,0.0,0.0,0.15336257913837262,0.0,0.0,0.3111654506099771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076017624455208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17195657134334505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247879943998268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238784073979532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764240722673991,0.10780953866961036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12604192530816002,0.0,0.3867324504658316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,qouththe_raisin-,2019/08/09,"I spit on my bf today So me and my bf of almost three years have been in a financial debt: for almost 6 months we haven't been able to pay our rent on time. I'm on unemployment and he does lyft. He works 10-12 hour shifts broken into two, morning and night. In between he doesn't really nap but when he does, he does it So late in the evening that he may sleep through his shift and miss out on money. So last night he tells me to wake him up in an hour so he can go to work. 

Okay one hour passes and then I try to wake him. Twice I tried to tell him to get up but, he just goes back to sleep. Then when he finally wakes up maybe 2-3 hours later he then gets up but then goes back to bed and says he'll get up in two hours here I urged him to go but nothing. So fast forward to this morning he says to me ""babe wtf, you have to push me. You know we have Bill's why would you just let me sleep?""

 And he's all angry and I feel attacked because I feel like it's not my responsibility to force him to do things. I said to him that he's a grown ass man. Why cant you get up after I told you? Then after I came back from walking the dog all angry, we start fighting and at some point he spat on something and then without thinking I spit on his shirt. I feel bad about the whole thing after a few tokes...what do you guys think am I a complete asshole?",0.21837488015340512,1.80135117785235,1.9842042186001945,99.79290268456377,82.52348993288591,4.928283796740173,17.354266538830295,5.543175910156928,-0.8192391179290509,1033,20,266,5,28,339,156,298,0.134,0.848,0.019,-0.9879,4,0,1,0,2,0,28.0,4,6,0,2,16,6,2,0,8,1,15,11,11,0,2,37,34,27,0,1,8,0,3,1,2,3,0,3,2,3,7,16,0,0,6,1,5,8,5,4,0,5,5,6,38,2,45,25,5,60,0,1,0,1,46,22,1,4,33,158,45,4,0.09759313955015447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19545086391935848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102628524137352,0.0,0.2251293007472299,0.08148619505621665,0.05949187204300228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162055253634716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023245500311556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25621324226670583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445934825005684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803807110690498,0.06972055839466168,0.0,0.10690851406221973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20395354962666046,0.0,0.1109288604822726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663255172619567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4805479190799337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05363463721567209,0.0795514343161968,0.1100893122705232,0.0,0.0,0.09979559732753517,0.0,0.04767907836431523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804542608764533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789791289607126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831691006544764,0.0,0.09364324949990226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613163708948819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225706176532747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06252066421098904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283342431628012,0.15521996334416402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29299086044514033,0.0,0.0,0.07513196679511598,0.0,0.0,0.06907692648273192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17060141111716898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296730908249596,0.12506748637095727,0.0,0.0,0.05690734449493365,0.0,0.09250688502725968,0.09325442710228764,0.0,0.13251867114525326,0.0,0.1906686330053883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17612525760440134,0.10895925505580802,0.0,0.0940763039070426,0.0,0.14209793584238936,0.0,0.0,0.06932736625246406,0.0,0.0,0.06284678215353219
bipolarreddit,Simplespider,2019/08/09,Anyone else get a random hypomanic day thrown in during the middle of a depressive episode? My cycles are pretty slow. Idk if I was just genuinely feeling better and energetic that day or what.,5.396476190476188,7.870479314285718,6.828571428571433,66.88476190476193,70.14285714285714,9.23809523809524,28.809523809523807,9.725611199111238,3.3616666666666672,156,6,23,4,3,53,33,35,0.099,0.642,0.259,0.7579,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,4,3,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,1,2,3,0,5,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,3,15,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645092851123293,0.38760298718591696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33456691718322096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4879317336994292,0.0,0.32582077226502226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160128989635795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912748781537726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976410023896681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38485710439126497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pomp-and-regrets,2019/08/09,"I'm sick of being broken TW for suicide and general hopelessness

I'm 23 and this is my third cycle of depression, as far as I can tell. I've kept returning to this spot since middle school. My therapist just diagnosed me with bp2 a few weeks ago.

I just hate being like this. My emotions are too loud, my trauma is too much. This isn't something I can talk about with friends and get empathy or sympathy. It just pushes people away. I feel like I'm broken constantly. Like I'm just a bunch of bits stacked up into a person. The amount of work it'd take to make me a functional, actual person again is exhausting to think about, and I don't know if it's worth it.

The worst part is I keep coming back to this place, extremely depressed, suicidal, and just tired all the time and worn down by everything. It's not worth it to get back to baseline if I just keep ending up here. I just want to not go to such extremes all the time. My current therapy doesn't seem like it'll be much help with this.

If I didn't have my partner, who would be absolutely devastated if I died, I would kill myself. I don't see things getting better. It's always going to come back to this and I don't see the point. They're the only reason I keep going.

I'm sorry this is such a downer of a post. I just needed to get it out somewhere where I wouldn't have to console anyone after talking about this",2.663652173913043,4.1548843964912265,4.189275362318842,87.09782608695654,75.21052631578948,7.482837528604119,23.26849733028223,8.18289091462,1.2022295957284521,1083,31,229,18,23,361,150,285,0.20600000000000002,0.708,0.087,-0.9913,1,0,1,0,0,3,28.0,0,0,0,2,22,14,2,0,12,0,25,4,0,2,2,47,55,14,4,9,15,0,1,4,2,4,4,1,0,3,20,14,0,4,5,0,2,6,9,8,0,1,3,4,25,6,34,43,10,31,0,3,2,0,9,11,0,6,17,155,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.10683686094897617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704757207430116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109627830754437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655108594587581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286023102733126,0.2525504970480315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968263205621044,0.11952399917628598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886149584893515,0.0,0.11830917879084528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18859023364733116,0.1111200760539269,0.11362313999487172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12315046453619212,0.09696694220287723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983937245960936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055356467470010426,0.07821266098457763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458411388729763,0.0,0.2287954973517912,0.0,0.18666032425888746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080890099493948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338225551981847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29193303734937304,0.12112359603583672,0.0,0.06016744263341076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21394593950646412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307886889224939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16096105545075054,0.08117816471286561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08326460867749187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855636392699158,0.0,0.07589977053302216,0.19118773703305333,0.11438348426324695,0.0,0.10349415525962401,0.0,0.104851747335482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256385680447364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079978492753977,0.17448305471912953,0.0996666421947229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905631345162518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428318968398966,0.0,0.12255409591251493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395070905954105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231546882311888,0.1759920399608765,0.09569050104035988,0.0,0.12520012474900685,0.12711492475454989,0.07273376551364125,0.07015047739831308,0.0,0.0,0.12767754432831988,0.1258313593396612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645742454735874,0.0,0.08781839498866027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970287343180557,0.0,0.0,0.15554315451589354,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mentallyunstablelolz,2019/08/09,"idk what this is or what i’m even going to type in just gonna do it (suicidal thoughts) im sorry so i’ve been diagnosed with bipolar unspecified, BPD, GAD, and PTSD. oh and try tried really hard to pin me with schizophrenia, that was hilarious. (not hilarious that’s just my crude humor, no offense meant) i’ve been in a depressed stage for a fat minute now and i feel myself slipping into manic and i hate this part because i get so scared. i can barely sleep and what little sleep i do get is littered with terrible nightmares. and my life is a cluster fuck of madness right now. i’m borderline homeless, broke, my car is across the country, i have no job, i had to drop out of highschool and work full time because i got kicked out of where i lived at the time and i never got my GED. which i also don’t have money for. and i don’t really have anyone to like help me with anything. my moms been deceased now for 8 years and my dad is across country with his new family. i don’t really have other family besides my grandpa and my grandma. but they hate each other so that’s just peachy to deal with. i feel like i’m going mad. expenses are piling up and as the days go by it just doesn’t make sense to live anymore. i’m not even sad or depressed when i say that it’s just not a good financial move on my part. living is too expensive and sooner or later i’m going to end up living under a bridge. it’s just like why try at this point? everyone said they’d be there to help me in a time like this is no where to be found and are turning a cheek to me. i’m losing my friends because they have their own lives and they’re going to college and i’m just the one friend who dropped out of highschool and now is a burn out. i usually try to be optimistic and believe that things happen for a reason and will unfold. im spiritual and i believe in karma and reincarnation the whole 9. but like i don’t think i can kid myself any longer. it just doesn’t make sense. i just want to know where i went wrong. i used to be happy and doing good in school. i had decent grades, a group of friends. i used to be like everyone else. and now i’m all alone. and it scares me, it’s like a. reality check like i really am alone and at the end of the day it’s just me myself and i. and i cant imagine worse company.",0.8162962962962972,2.8598723251028844,2.8172609053497943,92.17660740740742,82.95061728395059,5.8633086419753075,20.213827160493828,7.087006719466742,0.3754309135802472,1794,51,400,24,50,602,223,486,0.131,0.743,0.127,0.622,1,2,0,0,0,1,45.0,0,0,4,2,27,31,7,2,18,0,41,8,4,5,2,73,78,38,1,1,18,3,3,8,3,2,4,2,0,1,25,39,1,0,9,0,4,8,14,16,0,1,13,5,51,15,52,57,7,55,1,5,0,1,19,26,1,3,26,260,76,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849681000393667,0.0,0.06119051635385268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05203409807707456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07588417813803645,0.05350237728505844,0.0,0.06296686749860576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13993192824111775,0.0,0.0,0.17241662857034612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637032398367283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09869410706944856,0.0788855370699325,0.1318077426100894,0.07766301626583105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06392002965080938,0.0,0.13554247759685226,0.0,0.0,0.10107734702847404,0.0,0.0,0.1462303039986314,0.0,0.0,0.14426659763151306,0.0,0.0773784609624633,0.054663669950075815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389680270930866,0.17735024072892422,0.07073861687564187,0.07995381691314603,0.0,0.21743151363677413,0.12835744689348794,0.12239506789617595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06766361882345939,0.08145363501324511,0.06854408950238587,0.15108914313167926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257529523815748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16530270818706505,0.0,0.07593119052496798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042051672765633465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054046130856087365,0.29905823627830114,0.07669000927765074,0.3378290072122805,0.0,0.0,0.08560280955295288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021512148842114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961563783899526,0.0,0.08132532751596762,0.0,0.0,0.05901453021024102,0.0739004735479537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0518498139767447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16572063567723502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07233317820486299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944413081205609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960746747978254,0.07867209016044925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06534499216629296,0.07278506919630505,0.06084928922885615,0.153213478352745,0.07743916135282385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314426679432305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565437571945858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369704077446004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05083441097916203,0.04902892313173926,0.0,0.06074585080008368,0.13385281338098834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20779973851332234,0.08322838634922937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321720229699228,0.08427252629681033,0.0,0.045131634666405164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093190862644046,0.06904457718956135,0.08542835705161049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0557051954568838,0.0,0.07797723144808838,0.0,0.08365918970862304,0.0,0.04927435803968031
bipolarreddit,eveneveronlyeither,2019/08/09,I’m not okay but not bad enough for help I don’t want to live. I want to die. But I’m not ready to be dead. But living with pain and fuzziness and anxiety and intrusive thoughts about suicide and self harm is wearing me down. I want to act on those thoughts. I want to explode. I want someone to beat me to a pulp. I want to bathe in acid. That would be a relief from this. This is torture. But I won’t. Because I don’t actually want to die. I don’t want to deal with the aftermath of self-harm. So instead it’s the never-ending thoughts that don’t go away. This is torture.,-0.9181024667931688,1.1965353870967803,1.1482542694497155,99.82179316888048,94.32258064516131,4.207969639468692,20.197343453510435,5.900188976854957,-0.17937514231499074,444,16,107,4,17,146,66,124,0.319,0.53,0.151,-0.9889,0,0,0,0,0,4,17.0,0,0,0,1,3,7,2,0,4,1,11,2,1,0,0,25,25,9,4,9,7,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,7,6,0,0,3,1,0,2,8,5,0,0,3,1,11,2,20,18,1,7,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,67,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.13659291270256144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707853546173628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13150871742657844,0.0,0.11687114291179194,0.08532590182706437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14430544214339933,0.0,0.0,0.2905385932243485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123974038114781,0.1446289501903261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954956479144651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382057777720283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471964624461699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10795537675460383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14894054770925766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920435689585236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11859819638076635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15310713374931342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333674530343365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6604749856153106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994324072120451,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AnimaeNuperRevixit,2019/08/09,"Antipsychotics: Adverse Effects on Health and Lifespan   

The following is based on OP, who presented the research, and who’s post got cut short due to a dispute

I’ve provided data with best intentions and to the best of my ability based on the referenced study. The information here is reflective of many other studies. Please review the study for full details. Please call out everything and anything. I might point out study method misconceptions and fallacies and answer questions if I can but I'm not going to go out of my way to defend the research, especially because you simply do not understand, or engage with you because you don't like the uncomfortable correlation.

Again, best intentions.

​

**Psychiatric Meds Due Diligence**

**Adverse effects of antipsychotics** **on physical health** are greatest contributor the **20-year lifespan reduction** in bipolar disorder and other “Severely Mentally Ill” people versus the general population

***DON’T STOP - KEEP READING***

This is not meant to scare anyone off meds. It is meant to point out the fact that mentally ill individuals have a shorter lifespan and antipsychotics are correlated with reduction compared to general population.

Antipsychotics are prescribed off-label and generously to bipolar people. For example, Seroquel is prescribed for sleep. Latuda is prescribed to many for depression in bipolar disorder. Seroquel is not intended for sleep; Many Latuda patients do not achieve depression relief and continue taking the drug.

Yes, this is focused on antipsychotics. You need to question if that antipsychotic is worth the lifespan reduction for the reason you’re using it. You need to be aware of antipsychotics, period, because they are ubiquitously prescribed to the bipolar community as blanket fixes. You should research the medicine and know if it is warranted and appropriately used. You should understand the risk of an antipsychotic and determine if the benefit is worth the risk.

It is also meant to provide a wake-up call by presenting you with data about risk that you probably were not aware of and thus encourage you to be more aware of your meds, why you are taking them, to understand the risks, and to seek alternatives if you feel the risk is not worth the benefit. Know if there are alternatives meds that are lower-risk, lower-impact for mania maintenance, sleep, depressive episodes, anything. This to encourage you to stop taking drugs with your healthcare providers help if there is zero value to your quality of life or symptoms management.

This encourages due diligence with your psychiatric meds. Don’t rely solely on your psychiatrist or big pharma; you care about your life more than anyone else will.

**Mental Illness and Lifespan**

According to 2015 study, [“Effects of antipsychotics, antidepressants and mood stabilizers on risk for physical diseases in people with schizophrenia, depression and bipolar disorder”](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4471960/#b22)

People with bipolar disorder are part of a group with a much shorter lifespan than the general population due to adverse health and antipsychotics are the greatest contributing factor

· “Severely Mentally Ill” or SMI includes people with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and major depressive disorders

· People with SMI die on average 20 years earlier than the general population

· Physical disease is the is the most common cause of death

· Adverse effects on physical health are greatest with antipsychotics

**Adverse effects of antipsychotics** on physical health are greatest contributor the **20-year lifespan reduction** in bipolar disorder and other SMI people versus the general population

**Hold on, read…**

· This doesn’t mean that an antipsychotic will *absolutely* cut your life 20 years short

· Exercise and healthy lifestyle effectively combat most of the adverse health effects of antipsychotics

· Some people will have the adverse effects, others won’t but all antipsychotic consumers are subject to increased risk

**The Study**

· The study is a meta study – a study of many studies

o The Major Adverse Health Effects sections indicate number of studies and individuals in meta study

· Antipsychotic metrics are combined; there are individual metric in most cases that vary to degrees

· Three classes of drugs for severe mental illness were focused on 

· Restrictions were made to target antipsychotic drugs

o Only certain diseases were focused on

o Studies focusing pertinent diseases were selected

o Antipsychotics data cherry-picked from studies

· Adverse health effect metrics are combined antipsychotic risk – the study provides data by individual antipsychotic in many cases

**Major Adverse Health Effects that Contribute to Shortened Lifespan**  
 **Health Category - # Studies, # Individuals**

**Weight Gain -** **266 studies, 1,550 hits**

Approx. 2 to 4-fold gain \~75% of people – that is 2-times to 4-times pre-antipsychotic weight - 200lbs = pre- to 400-800lbs post-antipsychotics

**Diabetes - 266 studies, 1,305 hits**

· Mellitus – 2 to 3-fold higher prevalence of than general population

· Ketoacidosis – 10-fold higher prevalence than general population 

**High Blood Pressure – 165 studies, 963 hits**

· Increased risk

**Elevated triglycerides** 

**Reduced HDL cholesterol**

**Coronary Heart Disease & Stroke – 85 studies, 617 hits**

· Death – 1.5 to 3-fold increase in bipolar, schizophrenia versus general population

**Sudden Cardiac Death – 85 studies, 617 hits**

· 2 to 4-fold increase In schizophrenia over general population",7.099984057900143,11.219586310059178,6.306808156878091,62.284291652403574,78.79881656804733,9.325932808450293,38.81779060100738,9.229970321330061,5.611926304464767,4492,269,509,138,121,1373,333,845,0.163,0.7070000000000001,0.131,-0.9846,2,0,5,0,0,0,194.0,0,21,2,17,8,42,2,11,44,1,56,42,5,20,3,123,86,38,4,11,23,0,4,1,0,7,35,0,0,0,23,39,2,5,27,2,3,7,12,28,0,2,10,4,27,13,111,62,25,60,0,5,0,0,35,36,0,18,16,330,50,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03733620611105557,0.0,0.10117239464478248,0.056730771004879485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652903719326313,0.04783715472373761,0.07684014070090295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538132419271313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14698785502477513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534690034119538,0.0,0.047601310061020335,0.047961217625701234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010606111192512,0.0,0.04845455148515945,0.0,0.3210494900022681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21657204046129425,0.0,0.039001654894797136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04195997218940788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023606747738033257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053067490140048544,0.0,0.037340487989365886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4962693398281948,0.0,0.05532525196559632,0.0312938392509013,0.049328209926324494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041498249943050375,0.0,0.0,0.05131677309644078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09893089328478474,0.022809294262869043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04417711258563066,0.0,0.23667043859368744,0.0,0.050856686648539665,0.2592980297647695,0.0,0.23525153926069575,0.04952836361911714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0343208951486291,0.06923680443486835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035508165574699664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05055832324342551,0.0,0.2913068944629667,0.0,0.0,0.10249833931095337,0.0882700984089486,0.0,0.08942798781666036,0.0,0.05033733051147957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10460201208551938,0.0,0.09340084204344767,0.0,0.0,0.04800282050950762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04674261918047755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15823172927144602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14016451201427044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780661603495003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04852648675693035,0.10531021556774978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054448047690237464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14581089728765792,0.0,0.08064651494658462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037058591900101134,0.0,0.11370629273790915,0.0,0.0,0.042128465625177566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056730771004879485,0.12026161551706666
bipolarreddit,PiNe__ApP-LE,2019/08/09,"My therapist just fired me because I’m too much of a safety hazard, so naturally I want to die. I mostly am just looking for some support, still too new to talk about what went down with my old therapist. I don’t have many people to talk to and I’m really upset right now. Trying my best to stay safe",2.513809523809524,3.8771076825396835,4.495428571428572,85.27457142857145,75.34920634920636,7.5796825396825405,22.123809523809523,8.238735603445708,1.1002914285714278,236,6,50,4,5,81,48,63,0.14300000000000002,0.6609999999999999,0.195,0.4186,0,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,0,1,8,4,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,9,2,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,2,7,3,10,8,4,8,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,2,4,34,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13244459795933913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22800943353515524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254899529175871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18245045719388786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22027571990557104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15971702954518335,0.0,0.0,0.2098388544578236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279862894867317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15062632210938093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13918748815955742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18554574338191165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23157885260393274,0.17351056017517133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465532294112573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34926368701339594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5045299469688967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14751075667321706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12815033603353262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014096762319248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,travelquestyonzzz,2019/06/27,"Advice Desperately Needed: BP Bestie Hi everyone. I need some advice on how to proceed with my BP best friend. I hope this is appropriate... I felt that you good people will give me the unvarnished truth about what to expect, how to behave, and what to keep in mind.

So. My BFF was only recently diagnosed as BP1 after a sustained three-month period of mania, escalating, predictably, to psychosis. 

None of us in her life, including her husband and parents, had ever seen her like that before: unable to sit, constantly dancing, starting grandiose projects, quitting her job (being dismissed, honestly--you can't safely be a manic classroom aide for kindergarteners), drinking like a fish, going out at night to party with strange and dangerous men, being paranoid, being abusive, constant ""hooting"" laughter (not her normal laugh--very eerie). IN FACT, none of us had any experience with BP before, period. 

When she finally entered psychosis, she physically attacked her husband. She has been to the psych ward four times since March. She has been forcibly injected. She has bitten nurses. She has kicked her dogs. All totally out of character. 

Now she is basically stabilized, on a cocktail of drugs, and anhedonically depressed but superficially functional. She is working part time at a grocery store. (Her husband, who looks like he has aged a decade, has used up all his sick time caring for her, and their savings are kablammo.)

Here's the problem. Our whole lives we have been very close (grew up neighbours, still live nearby) and called/texted/visited all day, every day. She wants to do this again now that she is returning to stability. 

I grew up with a volatile, alcoholic, BPD mother, and I am extremely uncomfortable with volatility. Extremely. I am also extremely uncomfortable with violence. I am kind of afraid of her, basically. And the trust is gone. I don't even trust her enough to share a secret--any secret, no matter how mundane--because I'm afraid it will become public when she's manic again. Because it's WHEN, not IF. And that's terrifying. 

So I'm turning to y'all for advice. You will understand her and what she needs better than anyone. She and I have been friends for decades (we're 32). But I am left feeling like I can't trust her. 

I also can't share these feelings with her, as I know how unfair that would be to her (she didn't choose to be acutely ill), and how profoundly it would derail her recovery. (I've also assured her many times that she will be OK, that she is loved, etc., so I can't stomach-punch her like that--I can't reject or criticize her for her illness without hurting her to her core. She is not even really interested in discussing what happened in general terms, because she is humiliated.) 

So....... 

What can I expect? 

When will this reoccur? 

How does the trust come back? 

How MUCH can I trust her? 

Will she scare me again? 

Will she ever hit me? Will she ever be verbally abusive? (I ask because she has displayed that behavior already, just not to me.)

Will she ever share my secrets?

Will she ever work full-time again? 

Will my kids be safe around her? 

Everything has changed so much. Talking to her is like talking to an acquaintance because she is so lifeless, but she's clinging to me desperately and I know she loves me. I just feel numb and nervous. I already know we won't travel together again (we like to do a cheap resort every summer) and I won't leave my children with her again. Maybe that's unfair, I don't know. I've read all I can about the disease--hundreds of hours of reading, no exaggeration--and I'm still unsettled. I find myself pulling away. I don't know how to reorient things so I'm more comfortable. 

Thanks for any advice on what I can do to be a better friend. I want to help her... I just feel so uneasy about the potential for more instability, more violence, more irrationally, all acute triggers for me.",3.778390370075609,6.381806461002785,4.5490043772383615,80.71759331476323,75.61559888579387,7.501185833664942,28.22371667329885,8.461967990115637,2.359423255073617,3061,129,539,61,70,982,331,718,0.126,0.7040000000000001,0.17,0.9849,2,0,3,0,1,0,155.0,6,3,1,6,49,47,2,4,18,1,73,11,0,10,14,104,111,45,0,13,13,5,5,7,4,15,8,0,0,3,24,31,3,3,15,6,2,9,20,11,0,1,11,7,106,36,73,74,21,71,0,3,2,2,94,19,0,5,49,386,130,8,0.0,0.16232867202552226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677596485616308,0.0,0.07320840732002476,0.0,0.0,0.15118856428294358,0.1643444256168479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397522765050033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04789858509664957,0.0,0.0,0.06098180481720075,0.06404064961727036,0.07793155522423521,0.06436041328541198,0.05267424284748938,0.0,0.20879263416915034,0.0756556993076571,0.116581272010767,0.0,0.07188921402115057,0.12116990105975868,0.0,0.0,0.08627658056257527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06984292884783677,0.0,0.07246662896663864,0.059008892741840686,0.0,0.1480538701184377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835697264098986,0.0,0.05900115748286376,0.06952865988835706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059947054866269577,0.0,0.0,0.06710643293855534,0.07944122542519776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07078145988672982,0.0763984660313316,0.09049059413176792,0.3098224522275705,0.11543272831994822,0.06545713494625824,0.0615656869175505,0.06700865162134859,0.0,0.0,0.13854781731702173,0.04893824498393057,0.06577320350519372,0.07504120983123808,0.06261010192351857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15877473167604472,0.0,0.0,0.06571390083920609,0.038931585425206285,0.057456700101935425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06057659058577643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045915824278250784,0.0,0.0,0.0680385021322618,0.06746122616325026,0.0,0.07333341092867697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797822406044357,0.060888225856952125,0.0,0.0713348783277516,0.18823608675269687,0.0,0.0,0.0725343236564812,0.07442823557523544,0.0,0.04838538639437077,0.23426824597057125,0.0,0.1209780370233609,0.0,0.057524900448673214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365247598315166,0.0,0.0,0.06945084739010614,0.06882003231056204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916806115325196,0.0,0.054678092557226415,0.0,0.10071453221715752,0.15238134831574568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428501526460344,0.06711796766544402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052099286313167424,0.0,0.0,0.07606398992934019,0.07418160064145113,0.0,0.04749105218784945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554770170523655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286090832832724,0.1370422023428808,0.0,0.04388449622557399,0.0,0.06763801715152726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06858301633712739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05666602833450345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048486466958757635,0.0,0.10941247124706713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11011953126777488,0.0,0.06306795677359599,0.0,0.0,0.045510059247469016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15977758241771234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451111797827913,0.0,0.07131358437716939,0.16480029855589032,0.0591642204596877,0.0,0.11304357795572426,0.0808091734728735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648066567401424,0.0,0.06603402660266224,0.0,0.0997413640407411,0.0,0.0,0.0973245112165809,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MDKphantom,2019/06/27,"Lonely drives me fucking crazy I'm usually okay when im with people, but ive been so lonely these past months that I can feel everything creeping up on me, doing dumb shit online for attention, feeling terrible about myself, its so hard to try to be stable when i only have myself all day to talk to",4.831500000000002,5.648117150000001,5.993333333333332,78.81000000000002,69.16666666666666,8.666666666666668,26.666666666666664,8.841846274778883,2.0381666666666667,239,7,44,4,4,80,48,60,0.318,0.602,0.08,-0.9626,0,4,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,5,7,3,0,0,1,6,2,1,0,1,6,10,5,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,1,3,7,1,9,8,1,9,0,2,0,1,1,2,3,0,6,30,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19399805631799394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703493168878933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3041979196798973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780947026723922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694673578877898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3249272428172984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24010428067464984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287801398849718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28715791019277953,0.20854430706615465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087779248741421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417802963372055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042307619572709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33130055659927216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dylbobagginz1,2019/06/27,"A running list of things that reduce symptoms of bipolar depression and hypomania (please add to it) Not necessarily in this order...

-Good pdoc and Proper meds
-counseling/therapy 
-Exercise 
-Sex or masturbation (not compulsively)
-Being outside
-Getting sun
-Socializing
-Journalling/writing
-Goal setting 
-Limiting stress
- Healthy diet
-pet therapy 

Does anyone have any recommendations to add? Anything, even if its specific to you, would be welcome.",8.583864013266997,13.046640089552245,7.919303482587066,51.544560530679966,73.47761194029852,10.738971807628523,43.26533996683251,9.994966539143718,6.915532006633499,374,24,38,13,9,117,60,67,0.08800000000000001,0.7959999999999999,0.11599999999999999,0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,2,1,4,0,1,1,0,4,5,0,0,0,10,5,4,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,0,5,4,1,1,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,6,2,0,4,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,2,0,24,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16692574322886164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17163599299041518,0.0,0.20199814245706926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114200707958602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148095244997703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16212841098290634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12824619629653414,0.0,0.0,0.20588578464373014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27265811789251865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26944867561263697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25022234305519964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811812246623553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255133842688352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5614250266550884,0.0,0.16307713879711971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743724693668781,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,stardustdesmond,2019/06/22,"Mood affecting relationship So, I’ve been with my partner for quite a while now and our relationship is really serious, close, and loving. The only thing we’ve had conflict about, though, is how I handle my panic attacks. Sometimes I get so caught up in them that I neglect to ask if he has the mental space to talk through them, and end up causing him a lot of stress by just word-vomiting at him. Recently I left home to visit family for a couple weeks. As soon as I was away from home, my partner called to tell me we need to take a break, but that he isn’t ready yet to talk about the boundaries of the break and what happens next. I finally got him to agree to talk about it in person when I get back, but in doing so he revealed that my mental health (mainly the jarring difference between my manic phases and depressive phases) is the reason he is having a hard time being around me. 

I’m confident that I can make this work out in the end, but what I’m most scared of is the in-person conversation and what sort of game plan I’m going to give him as far as working on my mental health and taking care of myself. Does anyone have experience with conversations like this? Can anyone suggest healthy ways for me to talk about boundaries? Any self care tips for the three weeks before I head back and have that conversation? Thanks",6.874492123845737,6.2330391026616,7.036048343291693,78.07700570342206,64.81749049429658,9.94774579033134,30.572786529060288,9.23628265651192,2.3982147745790328,1056,31,207,16,14,341,148,263,0.073,0.807,0.12,0.9572,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,2,0,2,4,17,13,1,3,14,0,17,4,1,5,0,31,36,23,0,2,5,0,1,1,2,0,2,0,2,4,12,14,0,2,2,1,0,3,1,7,0,1,5,1,27,5,44,30,3,36,0,2,0,1,33,15,0,4,16,143,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07057569328411988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14513434493083607,0.0,0.0,0.09238847323972016,0.09702267522509624,0.11806763387778868,0.09750712263011636,0.15960475064080532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831130664060996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10597358777863684,0.0,0.2116264542246536,0.10661326771692796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11483341829711055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938775878408466,0.0,0.0,0.1084306764190804,0.0,0.0,0.09082080943511524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18384107113138895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015192488268646,0.09783695232406757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368871136483705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844419847536478,0.0995576793333632,0.058982015193194424,0.0,0.08300438645572839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177456677551296,0.0,0.09296878039461967,0.0,0.10651083821358936,0.2206319964589633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20820472038890728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276004492380437,0.0,0.0,0.05070291197899692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823221324701455,0.09366780388543232,0.0,0.06927565843064623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137652033577189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695344626867441,0.0,0.0,0.1103739199830221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07893130637542084,0.0,0.1217664619653118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18123784026212145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103855174423216,0.0,0.0,0.06648575943805844,0.1067057470076678,0.10247274832753067,0.2228472396838881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10390443819358312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826783444099054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264359628662313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888256110272898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560631243528643,0.33366593193495303,0.09071052365224044,0.09554902899524688,0.0,0.0,0.06894851511080406,0.0,0.10196582906178528,0.0,0.06051643986987364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08237775801047736,0.16649620409785038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15110986580659536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jamespatrickflannery,2019/06/22,"Introducing: Voices for Choices - Fighting for human rights in mental health [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DVfYtZUxMc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DVfYtZUxMc)

  

TLDR: Watch [**Voices for Choices**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DVfYtZUxMc)**,** a new video series about the fight for human rights in mental health.

​

​

Two summers ago, I watched as a good friend of mine in North Carolina was involuntarily committed to a psychiatric hospital. Though he posed zero risk to himself or others, he was handcuffed, forcibly drugged, and locked in a psychiatric hospital for weeks against his will. I had experienced four involuntary commitments in my life, but witnessing him go through this traumatic experience led to me researching resources that could help him in his situation. By the end of the summer, I’d traveled out to the west coast and met with members of MindFreedom International, and I began getting involved in what I came to learn was the consumer / survivor / ex-patient movement.

There was almost a decade between my first involuntary psychiatric commitment and my learning that this movement existed. Years were spent unnecessarily stumbling along on my own, seeking alternatives, trying to find allies, but always be alone in this journey and being hindered by constant self-doubt. Much like when I started getting involved in alternative education and it took a couple years before I discovered the already-existing world of self-directed learning and unschooling, I saw there was a need for a focused effort to connect those in need to the existing movements and resources that were available to them.

It was this need in mind that the Voices for Choices video series was conceived. 

This video series, which consists of 13 videos, was a collaboration between many individuals including psychiatric survivors, alternative practitioners, artists, journalists, writers, and activists. I am grateful to have been given the opportunity to be a part of this project. I want to specifically thank a few people for their work. 

First and foremost, a special thanks to [Sherri Huang](https://sherrihuang.com/), the Editor and Associate Producer who poured endless hours into video editing and making critical editorial decisions that steered this project in a direction that would maximize its integrity and impact. Her journalistic approach, creative vision and detailed editing skills have no doubt transformed this video series from being an amateur home video project assembled by a novice learning to use a camera for the first time into a professional, first-rate journalistic production that will change countless lives. I am incredibly grateful for the sacrifices she made with her time to bring Voices for Choices to life.

I also want to thank the team at [MindFreedom International](https://mindfreedom.org/), especially Sarah Smith, who was the champion of the grant which included the Voices for Choices series. While I was a part of the brainstorming session to plan the video, it was Sarah who took the lead in organizing all the documentation and drafting the grant proposal, securing the funding, and accommodating the regularly shifting deadlines that arose from my poor planning and execution. I’m incredibly thankful for her making this project possible and being understanding in all the delays and requests for time extensions that I begged for. The Steering Committee including Cindy Olejar, Mary Maddock, Jim Maddock, Celia Brown, Ron Bassman, David Oaks, and Sarah Smith was also invaluable in navigating this long process of creating these videos and I am thankful to have had their experience and guidance.

I also want to extend a sincere thanks to the [Foundation for Excellence in Mental Health](https://www.mentalhealthexcellence.org/), whose financial support made this project possible. While I am often skeptical that receiving funding for creative projects can potentially limit their freedom to free speech, the Foundation was incredibly supportive of our work and I’m grateful that I never felt constrained or fearful in the creative process. Thank you for believing in this project.

I want to thank all of the interviewees involved in the project: Kumail Akbari, Frank Blankenship, Erik Bray, Celia Brown, Oryx Cohen, Emily McMurphy, Sera Davidow, Janet Foner, Al Galves, Chris Gordon, Jim Gottstein, Peter Gótzsche, Chris Hansen, Jill Kesti, Mary Maddock, Hilary Melton, Grace Nichols, David Oaks, Opeyemi Parham, Ron Unger, Robert Whitaker. I want to thank them not just for their time, but specifically for their trust. It is not easy to have someone point a camera at you and ask you questions about such challenging subject-matter, knowing that they will be cutting and splicing your words into a larger story. I’m not sure I have that courage and am inspired by all those who did.

I want to thank my long-time friend Mark Sturgess and his partner Adam Carver for providing the music accompaniment. I’ve wanted to collaborate on a project with Mark for years and finally found the perfect opportunity. The music in this videos really captures the emotional tone in a way that I never could have imagined. Thank you for lending your talents to this project.

Lastly, I want to thank Sean Blackwell. I first discovered Sean’s YouTube series “[Bipolar or Waking Up](https://www.youtube.com/user/bipolarorwakingup)” in 2010, just a couple years after my involuntary commitment. It was the first glimpse I ever received into their being an alternative path to interpreting my experiences. I would say that his work directly inspired the strategy behind creating Voices for Choices series nearly a decade later. 

Without further ado… please enjoy [**Voices for Choices**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DVfYtZUxMc) and share them with everyone you know! We’ll be releasing one video every week for the next 13 weeks. I can’t wait to hear what you think!",12.235803216180372,13.429513957974141,9.769353448275863,56.80714522546421,53.27801724137931,12.440185676392574,44.8935676392573,11.915193480827876,6.0075083885941645,4875,251,617,123,52,1447,454,928,0.042,0.747,0.21100000000000002,0.9995,0,1,1,0,3,0,213.0,2,8,10,21,14,43,4,3,63,0,50,7,1,8,13,114,105,43,0,15,12,0,1,1,3,6,6,10,1,3,48,40,0,5,17,14,5,15,8,7,0,9,32,17,68,37,121,57,9,93,1,0,5,0,60,39,0,7,39,422,116,27,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04741488672549645,0.0,0.053561637578873326,0.0553986075878987,0.0,0.1283257147006474,0.04450724139455621,0.11591090082148865,0.12999029615856353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050005116396156485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04551531028612686,0.060263933056822074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06117731547886258,0.0,0.0,0.05658440752819311,0.0,0.0,0.05780274757064116,0.0,0.08541343630408339,0.11836941075461554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06203040955676115,0.0,0.0,0.060168072228589685,0.047375493094738416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04838398073215126,0.04506689930584555,0.05111115629695076,0.0,0.15696789979023285,0.0,0.06019014253214557,0.0,0.0,0.051357953373076484,0.05859472779469605,0.04888809612287963,0.272986961817895,0.0,0.05864807059595594,0.08265113888005708,0.0,0.05589172587405464,0.0,0.030399105448008237,0.04486414478159068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705693329634104,0.060286137401041315,0.0,0.035852636586000686,0.0,0.053653959000418784,0.0,0.05267601885179866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05879245438189432,0.0436007803524644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556190928678606,0.0261320872595152,0.0,0.04723188208493959,0.09467239434923172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012254169424633,0.07140881974668117,0.05422958274641538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161713387912314,0.0,0.05400877363886207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03932066536178023,0.11898453723800488,0.08250822968664501,0.051660135425328636,0.05688629697177686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03624561904976992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158470314307555,0.0,0.03708262809047027,0.0,0.0,0.058715002664276164,0.05056451741656155,0.12060191521024415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05992006757941287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03426650658388578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135885015641301,0.0,0.042536703368455504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160165704812766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06012402364505045,0.0,0.0,0.045321166585567035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03785988178447861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139766254297513,0.05041287235793217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5909472570648523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03427367494607633,0.05255279901152728,0.0,0.12475976827286188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885678392769515,0.03631560840398485,0.0,0.05225110809900242,0.055684071112948215,0.0,0.04619743472709402,0.0,0.0,0.25239419959278525,0.04245718197536175,0.1287172619098894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05156161291472177,0.0,0.11682217189026535,0.0,0.0,0.07599428707655889,0.0,0.12999029615856353,0.13778098499865435
bipolarreddit,matthuzala,2019/06/22,"I know I should go to sleep... I've (m 29) been depressed lately. I've been unemployed since leaving my job in January. Still living with my parents.

For the most part I'm good at not staying up too late (except on the rare occasion I go/hang out with friends), because I know how important sleep is for my mental well-being. But recently I've been staying up later. Not manic or anything. Just doing more of what my depressed ass does the rest of the day: binge watching, scrolling the internet, playing video games, etc. But now instead of the couch or recliner, I'm lying in bed, on my phone or computer.

Part of me is slightly worried that my sleep deprivation could lead to mania. Another part of me doesn't mind because maybe a little mania will motivate me to do something with my life again. I haven't wanted to do anything. I struggle to muster the motivation to even shower. I'm really a worthless slob at the moment.

In my head I tell myself ""Tomorrow I'll turn it around."" But I don't. So then it becomes, ""Okay, this time for sure , Rocky!"" But no. Same old slob. I think staying up late is my futile attempt to postpone tomorrow. 

I'm tired of myself.

Does this at all resonate with anyone else? 

Thanks for reading this far. This could have just been a journal entry, but for some reason I felt like I needed to share.

(Okay now I'm finally actually tired (After proofreading this thing over and over and over again). Good night reddit 👽)",2.4562647783251244,4.927196225000003,3.684088669950744,85.84642857142858,79.60714285714286,6.433497536945814,25.36945812807882,7.6298220110432995,1.5338805418719217,1133,44,213,18,29,368,160,280,0.09699999999999999,0.825,0.078,-0.4926,5,0,1,0,0,0,52.0,0,0,0,4,13,15,0,1,11,2,18,8,5,5,2,41,32,13,0,5,13,1,1,1,1,2,3,0,3,0,10,8,0,0,7,4,0,2,6,5,0,0,5,2,25,10,41,23,10,43,0,4,1,1,6,18,1,5,21,141,35,7,0.0,0.0,0.0967491817505874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395998892493834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693230301002526,0.1015836307456138,0.16317234008753065,0.08825821227037121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087319935662552,0.1094955583714566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15831509772330835,0.0,0.0,0.06393897712843905,0.0,0.17078329173528792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17352126291540854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282118224173893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057055546873734,0.06548295913259745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519274436145132,0.10860621534839797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659756880729438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269040464708475,0.16631274358483156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10174923167913807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09838404335316107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897270457221693,0.0,0.3355125733685993,0.10497802997716174,0.0,0.0,0.07002757160073066,0.04843621948981795,0.09936724480891312,0.08754500874209069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099602382027338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991273784825393,0.0,0.10010607986911907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351321390596717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930389079174496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10403380977519094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008647234103368,0.3220863407828686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099169742684998,0.0,0.06351348889829075,0.10193542700327234,0.0978916660994378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820120423174948,0.0,0.29764353909266794,0.0,0.0,0.07632505826944827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.317019462275471,0.07917565855336718,0.0,0.0,0.10364569911580897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934410223872136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866552760416654,0.09127747420838207,0.0,0.0,0.06586614616508274,0.06352677556617138,0.0,0.0,0.0578110299758282,0.2279003884341104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10783901996247117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584770589124186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08914138555621165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068444087086796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,JosShavaughn,2019/03/27,"Decade of Stability Here I'm just over 2 months away from my 10th anniversary of leaving a psychiatric hospital and never looking back and needing that much help. I've gone on to FINALLY finish my Bachelors degree, I am not super successful, but I would like to know if I were to kind of tell about these last years what sort of information would you find beneficial in a story like that, basically overcoming mental illness that so many people assume upon diagnosis your life is shot to shxt which isn't true. ",8.595684210526315,8.265742463157897,8.836842105263159,65.54789473684211,61.21052631578947,12.65263157894737,35.84210526315789,11.979248473330829,4.520957894736842,414,16,70,12,5,137,77,95,0.106,0.773,0.121,0.3701,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,2,5,6,0,0,2,0,6,2,0,0,2,16,11,5,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,1,7,6,15,7,1,13,0,0,1,0,5,5,0,3,9,47,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22567137444693064,0.18469534570311208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631221910847246,0.21953413649917355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16099783461280606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501264242483837,0.13200504549159328,0.19579121349519624,0.0,0.25433212247328485,0.0,0.0,0.16965703129253254,0.2346945643789904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017035423872487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435203160912852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24206035000458245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917215827189632,0.0,0.17657116969894646,0.1781017583069978,0.18525340926352854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665211653262039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20994126374804176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34125567398430257,0.0,0.0,0.154677886676432
bipolarreddit,sjoy9280,2019/03/27,Just learned I am a F-up I haven't cut in 2 years and today really set me off the rails. I know to many it will seem insignificant the reason is because I have to drop out of school. I just am not smart enough to do this. I am trying to be strong but I need the release. I will try to keep myself safe. Sorry just needed a place to vent.,0.12954285714285876,1.6644039733333358,2.433904761904764,96.696,82.6,5.352380952380952,16.047619047619047,6.1826913282559595,-0.7098380952380956,258,4,65,2,7,88,54,75,0.092,0.8,0.10800000000000001,0.4728,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,1,0,5,0,10,0,0,1,0,15,15,2,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,10,3,10,12,1,8,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,2,44,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15964321401962295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27059814141154553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327762210203669,0.0,0.0,0.14392564183721168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26551119817667096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38837015329543695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736150261274814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16777081363432933,0.26926232243182624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650425124146111,0.0,0.23841108778769535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931598243498091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482372118668699,0.0,0.0,0.3556066711759516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16864593345673842
bipolarreddit,foofighterfoos,2019/03/27,"Making and maintaining friendships? Following my diagnosis of bipolar 1 I am finding it very difficult to make friends.  Due to mainly having the depressive side of the illness I tend to isolate myself and avoid social situations.  Currently I'm 25 and realizing that making friends as an adult is significantly more difficult than it was when I was younger.  

So any tips you guys have would be greatly appreciated, thanks for reading",7.268288288288289,9.928163216216221,7.7172972972973,61.70045045045046,65.48648648648647,10.87927927927928,40.711711711711715,10.864195022040775,5.534700900900901,354,21,50,11,6,116,60,74,0.168,0.6559999999999999,0.17600000000000002,0.39899999999999997,1,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,2,8,0,1,3,0,8,2,0,3,0,10,15,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,2,3,3,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,4,0,0,2,0,6,4,8,11,2,5,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,0,3,35,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17017093640376804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21553027547438172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287136912351995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3866676871714821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758891139713205,0.0,0.2477757127720719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5011089420406676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25030647603104816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812788484380423,0.0,0.25508690033788617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23038622760862784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064731823649676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777624338896368,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gatorgurl101,2019/03/27,"Mania a memoir a short shitty one I wrote something I have no where to share.

Was my lowest drinking cheap wine on a toilet seat at mid day in a sprawling Westfield shopping outlet, having my stomach and veins flushed for the third time in one year?

 Or forgetting I had sex with my best friend after my court date for a shattered window. In a million little pieces. You might assume it was.

 It wasn't. Truth is this is medication, because without this. I'm fine in the sense THAT I FEEL. I feel everything, I feel everything.  Life is like day time television and it hurts me with its monotony. My brain is too fast, the world is too slow. I am too arrogant the world is too humble. Atleast I'm self aware, my addictions are my angels and my devil's. They save me every time and yet darling they push me closer and closer to the edge. The edge is always there. Hi my name is Sophie and I have manic depression. I swear you might disregard what I say, but I know it has value.

I want to live. 

",1.7657553782934483,4.146768558375637,2.9233937635968097,90.81181049069374,81.69035532994924,5.579792119893644,21.056079284505678,6.868970318607317,0.502327725404883,774,23,156,9,21,248,121,197,0.102,0.809,0.08900000000000001,0.1086,1,0,3,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,2,1,8,10,0,0,12,0,20,9,3,0,1,25,28,8,0,1,3,0,3,1,1,2,3,1,1,1,9,8,2,1,5,3,2,1,3,3,0,4,5,4,28,7,15,21,2,26,2,2,0,1,11,14,0,4,12,106,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892206671418632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14442700457530075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580875637423608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18215461389641108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19376536029428185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22388101547111164,0.0,0.14949854727261885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17003588853108886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462431071505611,0.0,0.3119932268680618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26329183570724074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410240714945626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18581395464262465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539142184450904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12260005199531335,0.08479921396911802,0.1739661836292588,0.1532685252161235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17485697730493344,0.0,0.3682679749469378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352357065641913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13803256412934084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18107495014364725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133625312123233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3036362015243096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10237811049727616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16731859964826426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177560284169863
bipolarreddit,kam297,2019/03/27,"Problems being around friends and being with friends when depressed. Whenever I'm depressed I can't be alone, when I'm alone I can get really overboard with how I think. When I'm alone in the moment I can feel like I'll be thinking completely rationally but if I'm in the same mood around people I care about my mindset will can add will be completely different.",2.5108802816901417,5.212970000000002,3.493785211267608,85.8212411971831,81.39436619718309,6.930281690140845,27.184859154929576,8.07648339933343,2.0858014084507044,294,13,55,6,8,94,42,71,0.087,0.71,0.203,0.7278,1,3,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,2,0,11,0,0,1,0,14,20,7,0,2,2,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,6,4,7,13,1,8,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,1,5,34,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5727050729025986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3281707799891071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18792825585782996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.386515587690948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31751201738703044,0.0,0.0,0.1925769438946509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931985889295348,0.13167945812538934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848129738199757,0.0,0.09630047978662158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005027136173542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277854573647674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17637097212506062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180811997852962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362118034283148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RaeKenz,2019/03/27,"Destroyed Self Image Anyone with advice on improving your self image? I have struggled with hating myself (appearance, personality..etc) for years and I haven't improved. I've tried to improve myself by being healthier, and accepting my husband's compliments and try hard to believe them, but I just seem to end up hating everything about myself all over again. I can't seem to stop my own brain from insulting and absolutely tearing myself down at every opportunity. ",8.824444444444445,10.029897617283947,8.937876543209876,59.83644444444445,60.48148148148147,11.418271604938273,37.18765432098765,11.20814326018867,4.845368395061729,381,17,52,10,5,125,60,81,0.196,0.654,0.15,-0.6304,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,1,1,3,8,4,1,0,0,4,1,1,0,1,14,9,5,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,6,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,0,1,12,3,15,8,2,10,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,3,4,40,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19977878010101274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14295090317868647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303366133231455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282253692011069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18107531454455575,0.0,0.2280073555118223,0.0,0.0,0.1722515679369282,0.0,0.18373967690113865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18314026402455172,0.4036891548966578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722334266713352,0.42655609121095817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709230289140961,0.0,0.2137276209329645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776059850808727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165422440563948
bipolarreddit,sebisrude,2019/03/27,"Trazodone causing instability I have been an absolute mess this past year. I was diagnosed in January after a manic episode that started in August, and given lamictal for mood and trazodone for sleep. I switched psychiatrists in July and he helped me try a variety of medications hoping something would fix me! But nothing seemed to help. I would be relatively okay one week but the next I would be hypomanic again and no one could understand why! Trazodone was the only constant. The only reason I started to suspect it might be the culprit is my mother made a comment about me seeming to be extremely sensitive to medications, and I was like wait a minute trazodone is technically an antidepressant...what if??? So I stopped taking it. Four days later I was fucking normal. My husband and I couldn’t believe it. I hadn’t been normal since July of 2017! It’s been two weeks now and I just got back from a psychiatrist appointment. He said he never would have guessed it would have had that effect since it was such a low dose (100mg) but that it obviously was the culprit because I was the most stable he’s ever seen me. I searched this sub a little obsessively and couldn’t find anything cautioning against trazodone, so I thought I’d post this in case it might help anyone! Good luck out there guys it’s a wild ride!!!!",4.900748987854254,6.965418295546559,5.612734817813761,76.818778340081,70.49797570850204,8.34080971659919,32.18805668016194,8.982922981607832,2.9721062348178138,1057,49,184,21,20,343,143,247,0.084,0.841,0.07400000000000001,0.6035,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,1,10,10,1,1,16,1,31,6,1,4,3,45,47,14,0,12,5,2,0,1,0,7,4,1,0,1,15,9,0,2,8,0,0,1,5,4,0,4,18,2,21,5,17,15,1,27,0,1,1,1,12,7,1,9,19,128,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.081081000330115,0.0,0.09542410755393754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916506182986574,0.0,0.07068733076701518,0.0,0.0,0.13064571545621442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11912149945032414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253101304320943,0.0,0.09258356474177676,0.0,0.0,0.07478375105878833,0.0,0.0,0.11769561217695892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489125848144457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059841263470732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072019246488242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726063328451452,0.09274274381884086,0.0,0.12774155159812944,0.11481731725962314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23317396260977025,0.0,0.0,0.11517312677848453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05665155032554098,0.11622105377538515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972290014935104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23363232713854934,0.0,0.2460276544967661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943447723760166,0.0,0.12332336425047105,0.0,0.22722975835122,0.1112654741594457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571531957081427,0.1763835922181411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069567436911933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11105635478943024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11922482872647285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030325228522428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21112884157921336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19184442516727124,0.0,0.11604241695979214,0.0,0.0,0.08927065169816681,0.0,0.0,0.1641522911608564,0.0,0.0,0.09694664290777533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871864908557897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09205823364694106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872832723501147,0.0,0.1132747740599284,0.12071706808791333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860301059112368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463466615833683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4118685713866657,0.0,0.0,0.0746735835530296
bipolarreddit,jessprod89,2018/11/27,"Undiagnosed Docu-Series Hello, I am a producer working on a new docu-series that is focusing on mental health conditions and we are currently casting individuals & families for the series. Please email Jessica at [FightStigmaNow@gmail.com](mailto:FightStigmaNow@gmail.com). We are working with mental health advocates and are looking to help those with undiagnosed or misdiagnosed mental health conditions. Los Angeles locals only. There is no pay but there is help for those who are selected by the network. Thank you for your time.",9.987508710801393,13.582400085365856,9.12491289198606,50.5059756097561,60.34146341463415,12.002787456445994,36.10452961672475,11.491704259439757,5.673140766550523,445,20,53,15,7,140,56,82,0.033,0.8440000000000001,0.122,0.8176,1,0,0,0,2,0,20.0,2,2,0,3,2,1,0,0,4,0,8,3,0,1,0,9,10,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,10,10,0,7,1,0,1,0,9,4,0,1,3,38,9,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981565921758636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17240837254248334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5831968781226752,0.0,0.0,0.2451688749220556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15357793685177135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5529173465275478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17663215995520826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13909282486399385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007535918553185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683765918271828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066421291974704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662859524950605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bipolarquestion57,2018/11/27,"Psychosis or tiredness? Hi there! I'm a college student currently going to therapy for anxiety/depression, however I strongly suspect bipolar disorder. I have what I think are hypomanic episodes as they don't last more than a few days, and I also feel depressed most days. Sometimes they switch off within the span of a day. I'm talking to my doctor about those things and I just wanted to give some background on why I'm posting here specifically.

​

Anyway, sometimes(at least once or twice a month), I'll be trying to sleep and I start to get these intrusive/bizarre thought processes that don't go away until I go to sleep. I have a hard time sleeping fairly often so part of me thinks its just plain sleep deprivation/being half asleep. 

​

One example, was when I was staying a friends house trying to sleep, and I started to ""code"" (like a programming language) every single thought and action. It was very uncomfortable. Before(or after) every movement or thought I had had a sort of response in something similar to Python.

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Another example I had was when I was sleeping in bed with my girlfriend at the time. Again the thoughts were intrusive and bizarre, I had started to imagine her back was a marketplace with little shops with people and I would tap on them to see what they were offering. 

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What really scares me about these experiences is that I'm somewhat conscious to the fact that its happening(hence why I remember them). So there still a part of my ""normal"" self that's utterly terrified when its happening. 

​

Typing this out it definitely sounds like something I should bring up to my doctor. However, I mainly just wanted to know any of your thoughts on this or if you any of you have had similar experiences.

Thanks!",6.120843749999999,8.291895646875005,5.84825,75.93175000000002,67.53125,8.995000000000003,35.3,9.490545024520769,3.6871912500000006,1437,72,232,31,25,446,182,320,0.07400000000000001,0.883,0.044000000000000004,-0.8427,3,0,2,0,0,0,61.0,0,3,5,1,19,7,0,1,14,0,23,10,7,0,1,43,50,20,0,6,8,0,2,2,2,2,3,1,1,1,18,11,0,0,13,1,1,6,2,2,0,3,18,4,33,5,41,29,10,40,0,1,1,0,16,13,0,10,21,171,51,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05308099254962335,0.0,0.3595927174813465,0.4032715086379274,0.09027613221576168,0.06960119301175252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0623625889093145,0.05103917120979613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284213994473496,0.0,0.11433938166184987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607283189665325,0.13587762824658725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184955806567484,0.0,0.0,0.12985724550581193,0.0,0.0,0.03356178174815508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05128205789476186,0.0,0.03467880492573619,0.06367406258703663,0.11316930704096205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058696220601878686,0.0,0.05946000329784405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658917879541417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03647860259690796,0.054105430913339414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648560796578101,0.06652635169079138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0529808190225628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06503454549595743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068844595247196,0.04497820501273897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437578296746683,0.0,0.04601687300123275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06357001486578936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0425222688591428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751912519738509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645411730074315,0.0,0.052893207143386765,0.0,0.06924481278109024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3985445867649639,0.0,0.0,0.10219922428196387,0.0656477211790808,0.0,0.14094416671339627,0.07074815676842905,0.053008088494357175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05335064450941935,0.0,0.06111025179687062,0.07590692567123025,0.0,0.044097372456303824,0.08506232856157453,0.0,0.26347629059815536,0.07740894736841596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901301135297975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05476728489629487,0.07830075986371184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11978832360875305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0471517208636019,0.0,0.4032715086379274,0.0
bipolarreddit,HelloBeautifulChild,2018/11/27,"Irritation Reaching Impressive Levels **TL;DR**: BP2 Hypo-mania causing irritation levels so high I can't think straight or sleep. Looking for advice.

I recently learned about hypo-mania and wanted to know how people deal with this. I am so irritated that I am constantly snapping at myself. Everyone in my personal life is constantly asking me if I'm okay and I can tell they're walking on egg shells around me but I don't know what to do. I'm so frustrated and angry and downright irritable! I work in customer service so it's particularly problematic. I literally can't sleep at night, so I'm always exhausted. I love my family and my life, I've actually been really lucky to have a really good adult life, and yet I can't seem to control this like, high strung, chihuahua-shake, maybe should take a chill pill, crazy.

​

What does everyone do to cope with this? My plan with depression is usually just to wait and see if I kill myself but I'm doubtful that method will work here.  ",2.6086398511973954,5.494460187165779,4.428997907463383,77.79009532666825,83.49197860962568,7.9580562659846565,25.777493606138112,8.716276077567194,2.636547733085329,793,33,138,22,23,267,116,187,0.233,0.659,0.10800000000000001,-0.9826,0,0,1,0,0,1,31.0,0,0,0,4,11,11,2,1,2,1,15,9,2,3,0,30,30,18,1,4,6,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,2,8,11,1,2,5,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,1,2,19,6,17,27,0,18,0,1,2,1,6,11,0,6,7,82,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.13407185852018838,0.0,0.0,0.13425495385908925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143186651917616,0.1488609386686003,0.16694268931421974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12230535012960067,0.1284401814188035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14113636235492813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29693743038858694,0.1540934610050207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416420401318542,0.11833295596325062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12023005151512725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26256218004963017,0.0,0.0,0.12951813456815145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523538610120868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29031807177267865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15200058750255502,0.0,0.1510108175140184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911257698189841,0.06712133218276274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537216898770618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399894866054907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380257303453829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12893028213239024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524824303362904,0.11996278720006776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17602984012096815,0.0,0.1356550760441926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10948125590120872,0.12507379787108192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749764682975423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10329943983796852,0.0,0.12008405341800728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803333229120335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15131458813754087,0.0,0.08103559975725487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20004167616839602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16694268931421974,0.0
bipolarreddit,ItzYoGraMpa,2018/11/27,"Hi, I am wondering how everyone started talking to your doctor about potentially being bipolar. I have been struggling with this, erratic life, to say the least since my mid teenage years. I have a psych doc but he really just supply's my add meds and anxiety meds. Which I use to manage my ups and downs on my own.  I have been okay getting by like this for a while. Now it's becoming more and more apparent how out of control my grasp on the Switch (what I call my episodes) is. He's not a very compassionate individual and I am wary talking to him specifically about the issues. Because losing the meds and not getting something else to correct me could literally ruin my career and life. Help opinions are great. Thx",3.5043402582818644,5.941094773722629,4.626569343065693,80.66254912970244,75.71532846715328,7.719034250421113,28.78663672094329,8.617729084823388,2.4425052217855137,572,25,105,12,13,187,93,137,0.11,0.768,0.122,0.4084,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,2,6,7,0,1,7,1,11,4,0,4,1,22,16,10,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,5,9,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,1,17,4,16,12,4,10,0,2,0,0,11,6,0,2,5,74,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279897727694879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198909369749536,0.18477797926499465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708396545370138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876495777408362,0.1335814177284419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17124630659132584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13976394040615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15986947757446113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748225175010017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844570996120716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214268461018738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17462555288312426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363484577031178,0.08173798913561586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871742869694745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5575227175959121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718146296749843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133049632173172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13839848556608011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12880148057209284,0.0,0.0,0.11842110334483955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749061160741954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689508477414663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14449995441682864,0.0,0.13804620203563142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814378372647516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774053889260006
bipolarreddit,LikeALighthouse,2018/11/27,"Scary stuff going on I'm bipolar. I'm actually a regular poster here. But now I'm using a different account, through a VPN. I'm scared. I became depressed recently. I live in a shared apartment and have locked myself in my room. I've got a kitchen knife on me. Nobody saw me going in. I've been having these thoughts which I haven't had in a long time. I'm nearing psychosis once again and it is freaking me out. I'm not manic, nor am I extremely depressed. My doctor thinks it might be schizoaffective disorder, although its been nearly a year since I was last psychotic and put on antipsychotics. Big plant pot. Can't stop thinking about it. I've been taking a lower dose of my antipsychotics for a while now and noticed no change. Until today. Should I raise my dosage again? I don't want to. I hate antipsychotics. I don't like what my life's become. I had delusions today. I am a winner, I am a god. Some people are good, but I am better.   


You, the people of the internet, are the only ones I can tell this. I'm seeing a girl tonight, I'm going to install an SSD in her laptop. On the way home I envisaged her smiling, motionless and covered in blood. I don't want to kill her. But she has to die. I also locked myself in, to protect myself and the people around me. I'm losing control of my mind, but I'm consciously losing it, fully aware. My psychiatrist saw me today. She was worried. She wants to see me on Thursday but I don't want to take my pills. What do I tell her? I'm going to pretend I'm still depressed, and that I've taken my pills. I have to work tomorrow. I'm going to pretend everything is nice and dandy. Nobody can tell what's going on behind the scenes. Speaking of behind the scenes (movie wise), I'm going to be great at it. After all, I am an acting god.",0.8634432234432197,3.206249373626377,2.9290109890109903,89.49932234432238,85.48351648351648,5.444688644688643,21.02930402930404,6.868970318607317,0.6100007326007328,1388,45,281,18,42,467,178,364,0.122,0.767,0.111,0.5466,2,0,0,0,0,0,57.0,0,1,0,5,9,16,2,1,21,0,33,8,1,2,1,32,71,18,2,5,6,0,0,1,0,2,6,1,3,1,14,10,1,3,4,2,1,9,9,9,0,1,12,5,47,7,40,55,2,51,0,5,4,0,14,21,0,2,21,183,61,3,0.0,0.0,0.09965456643786284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166547250224394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090861255094086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278371763917225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090317002106589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802961170710956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453646736054422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638678888766079,0.0,0.10598462602626707,0.10669385482366346,0.117038575637336,0.10452433329000113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177903466775486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4062607688008204,0.08565356344699636,0.0816748382533963,0.11258786096666516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082253753551533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10243486873086832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298085081431647,0.0,0.0,0.08324157797811811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07213050446832166,0.04989076254505546,0.0,0.09017399147087866,0.09037314737133244,0.0,0.2284927242396556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10833337498692623,0.10311227244142104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11626450384409187,0.0,0.1087546607905115,0.06919927808874758,0.07766699998174444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123918278209414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265898850729548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10083135967152797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10224011700631323,0.0,0.16275312672367864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447486967799582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155330911126972,0.08537704463617285,0.0,0.0,0.11690317613843955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15356333542250036,0.0,0.26777262010589736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13086897814934312,0.0,0.08107201742590464,0.05954709924492434,0.0,0.2903939752827924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819904905686078,0.0,0.0,0.2409325163080485,0.08105824702133951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434470860662777,0.10370800166445916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576204894701589
bipolarreddit,ManyPhilosopher9,2018/11/27,Anyone have book recommendations for bipolar disorder/mood disorders that have helped you? So far I have read The Bipolar survival guide by David J Miklowitz and it has been invaluable.  Worth more than any psychiatrist or therapist I’ve been to.  I also read An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison which was interesting but not very instructive.  Any recommendations would be appreciated.  Audiobook forms are appreciated also.,8.347826086956523,11.622150666666672,8.390652173913043,55.38858695652178,64.07246376811594,12.13623188405797,39.03623188405797,11.538034831475384,6.037510144927536,352,19,47,13,6,114,57,69,0.0,0.831,0.16899999999999998,0.9042,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,10,2,0,0,0,6,10,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,3,1,5,5,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,32,6,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42421577280726397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3607370299091348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18545808794746227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30398164787995124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17778105470116906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678111752702385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5306124338190042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30795762859892434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21884619117773246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18841493672754625,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kennimao,2018/11/27,"I think I might be manic. Does anyone else experience paranoia? [rant] I don't know how to explain it, it's probably going to come out a mess. 

I haven't slept in a couple days. My partner has noticed. Anyway, I'm completely hooked on this movie/music/book association combo. Edgar Allen Poe is referenced in a lot of things, something about Kubrick. 

Anyway, I don't know if it counts for anything but I feel like cars are following me. My partner noticed and they're visiting a friend after work and I'm worried they're secretly trying to hospitalize me so I've locked up all the evidence in my car and written the legal hotline/involuntary admission rules on my leg so they can't keep me. But I'm mostly fine, I can get through it.  

The fucking front desk person would laugh in their face. I'm not nearly bad enough to get sectioned. I'm somewhat aware that I'm acting out of sorts, doesn't everyone sometimes? I'm allowed to feel things and it's not fair to blame it all on my illness. 

Although my boss was acting weird. I think I'm going to get fired, they're probably spying on my computer and they know I fuck around sometimes. 

But other than that, I feel amazing. I watched a sun rise this morning. I went to get coffee at 4am, then I went home and started my pinboard of slightly-related things. I have written so many pages upon pages upon pages. I'm tired, I feel like I will fall asleep but my brain is alive and I don't want to stop. 

I don't think I need that much sleep. I'll catch up eventually. I finally worked out what my novel will be about, I know the main character, I know the plot. 

I keep listening to songs on repeat. And laughing to myself sometimes because it just feels like I should be doing this. The songs feel amazing in my ears and it's so fucking suitable. And it's funny, the whole thing is ridiculous, how can you not laugh? 

I smiled at the cashier, I smiled at the gas station attendant. I made small talk. I don't care if I'm in my pj's and look like crap. None of it matters anyway, they're going to forget and I have ceased to give a fuck. Because I'm the only thing that matters anyway. I wonder what the 4:30am joggers think about seeing this chain smoking, pajama'd weirdo drinking a latte. 

My partner can leave. They're never going to love me like I need anyway, they've been pushing me away the whole time. I am my most important thing, I strong and I will spend years and years alone if I need to. I don't *need* someone around that makes me feel shitty for being happy. 

There's a possibility I'm manic but I don't really agree. ",1.3997532883973562,3.849173428571433,2.8688168313592084,90.13213827629083,84.01930501930502,5.442366337281591,22.293174530462665,6.847781081116105,0.6976311367057124,2028,70,409,25,59,660,242,518,0.14,0.711,0.149,0.9023,1,1,2,0,0,0,67.0,0,1,3,3,19,25,6,0,20,0,34,16,8,6,3,79,99,30,0,10,12,0,8,5,4,6,2,4,1,4,28,20,1,3,19,4,1,19,15,9,0,0,8,15,62,16,52,81,16,57,0,0,3,5,16,27,5,10,16,250,90,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08048185698392861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05433510840816688,0.07962083568874477,0.06394690750713407,0.13835285401363753,0.0,0.0,0.07300904663469686,0.0,0.06488277651906332,0.09473992093516816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674761684811065,0.0,0.0,0.07922829250245528,0.0,0.0,0.06693839865424497,0.08147516162099509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598221509908367,0.0,0.05011510963610315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06800262927050267,0.0,0.0,0.07612407133205347,0.0,0.0,0.06491490503357314,0.0,0.0,0.08029294160722081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425314372473457,0.0,0.07601315034221626,0.0,0.0,0.27503982951227585,0.16654342760700633,0.0,0.0851251088739472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600368621932352,0.28735847725818203,0.16239649638281567,0.07454441334367405,0.1766525595954073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08272141002452088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794727057068739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138140546157797,0.0,0.0,0.21353090408410227,0.0,0.0,0.08228135196969832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898205569675058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06525499022029146,0.0,0.0,0.06606440224956636,0.07013433354999829,0.07352900988148184,0.05187056740663401,0.07878352386330571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824357076507584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05712418242892785,0.2304774295778472,0.059933054554680114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17694171625703867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059100292088003416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06785146343546232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760388134790413,0.0,0.0,0.16756432713485633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04978161369574866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061923064685555786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776393088127884,0.0,0.06584157628324902,0.05982326954451773,0.23056503686824426,0.0,0.05500198874804296,0.0,0.0,0.06496720971319007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624585951465777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30975370122734097,0.1991681109274899,0.0,0.0,0.04531204963749795,0.08931369772731275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05275850295003283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045834080403035465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14407183906170687,0.0,0.17351599226328746,0.0,0.0,0.08427080648493207,0.11314442414106275,0.07891605433032482,0.0,0.055201399551306096,0.0,0.0,0.10008256536206493
bipolarreddit,annachristineAAC,2018/11/12,"When to go to the hospital again I've been having the urge to stab/cut my throat lately and have been self harming other places and my parents (I'm 25 they're just active in my life) are asking me to stay the night at their house so they know I""m safe. But my best friend reminded me I must have told him things were getting worse on the whole because he's insistent I go to the hospital. 

​

I've been in intensive outpatient before and found it only mildly helpful. Not sure how worth it it is, but these are the thoughts that sent me to the hospital in the first place a year ago. 

​

TLDR I'm rambling, I don't know. I'm having suicidal thoughts and self harming, is it worth going to the hospital or managing on my own with my parental/best friend support?",3.310764267990073,5.161217148387099,3.981290322580645,87.7550124069479,74.29032258064517,7.349875930521091,26.761786600496286,8.139509932561175,1.6755062034739452,618,23,124,10,13,196,95,155,0.12300000000000001,0.767,0.11,-0.4701,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,2,5,8,0,0,10,0,14,2,1,1,2,19,30,10,1,1,5,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,8,5,0,1,5,0,2,4,2,2,0,1,9,0,15,6,14,20,3,20,0,0,0,0,13,8,0,1,7,78,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597877918353752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835228701308174,0.3179616549852431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231458837248127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975679589833064,0.0,0.1113323364391024,0.0,0.2746099445889111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128957152198048,0.0,0.14345561276077634,0.2021681131694756,0.0,0.06835673963392687,0.0,0.22307241764868133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769703586615192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15096790575413002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14380878148864826,0.0,0.1475894186520307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924137818001599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227813151115845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950715362788257,0.0,0.0,0.145278595294992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2733928645521199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729822811606888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13945444031754164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431140387097451,0.14847185841633898,0.12331197636425988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692204399750861,0.0,0.0,0.20773934089943127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502000783631018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14607442610712762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333337047126021,0.0,0.0,0.3179616549852431,0.08425450074025205
bipolarreddit,mani_mani,2018/11/12,"Is anyone else high functioning? I read a lot of the posts on this sub and feel as if I can’t  often relate. While I too have gone through the frustrations of finding a mood stabilizer that works for me or dealt with terrible side effects, I don’t think my experience with this disorder is common to the point I question if I’m bipolar. Lots of people post on here unable to work, in deteriorating relationships, and are really consumed by this mental illness. I think it’s awesome that there is a place to vent and not feel alone in something that is quite isolating. 

Yet even when I’ve been at my worse it’s never gotten “that” bad. When I had my first major depressive  episode in college I was getting all A’s. I was suicidal but I had the hindsight to finish my chem homework just in case it didn’t take.  My professors were shocked that I had to take leave for a week to get serious help. During my most recent manic period I was still going to work and socializing. My crazy shopping spree didn’t hurt too bad because I had been working so much at that point. I stayed up cleaning, baking, and going to the gym. I had friends who complemented my clean apartment and new physique, totally unaware. 

I feel like being bipolar and high functioning can be more frustrating in some ways. You don’t outwardly display warning signs that you might need help. I have been told that I must be fine because I’m excelling in competitive fields and I seem “put together”. 

As close as I am with my parents, I can’t open up to them about my mental health because “how can you be depressed you just landed that dance/modeling gig”. Yet when I call upset a few months later or talk about new medications I’m on they act absolutely gobsmacked. As if I wasn’t reaching out to them earlier. 

More importantly I feel like it’s a struggle with myself. I find myself constantly questioning if I am really depressed or just lazy? Is my mind really racing or I’m just not allowing myself to focus? Do I just have terrible sleep hygiene and that’s why I can’t sleep or am I manic again? It’s hard to accept that you just can’t mentally do something when you have been powering through up until this point. It makes me put extra pressure on myself. Why can’t I just do xyz, it’s not as if I’m on social media having a very public meltdown. 

Can anyone else relate? How do you handle the stress of having this disorder and being able to function day to day. Do you ever fear that there will be a time you just won’t be able to keep up? ",3.704959677419353,5.451074415322584,4.947612903225807,81.67641935483873,72.99193548387099,8.024516129032259,27.31935483870968,8.697196308434329,2.097352580645161,1994,74,382,38,40,660,238,496,0.154,0.7509999999999999,0.096,-0.98,2,1,2,0,0,0,38.0,0,9,3,9,29,24,2,5,15,0,57,8,2,5,5,71,81,35,1,7,22,1,5,2,1,4,5,0,4,0,25,17,1,1,13,3,1,6,15,17,0,1,19,5,59,6,54,51,12,66,0,4,0,0,26,30,0,19,28,275,84,9,0.16048341098128147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310620725610071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122137323832757,0.16443421960241564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13399694477281507,0.14674379667153306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193575286645301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671277724725908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349852362158793,0.0,0.20733619007929804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839278926152369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406329709334405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052998889699020064,0.0725832165406211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784917851459471,0.0,0.09029422719901377,0.16229046915820833,0.1146493808711292,0.0,0.0,0.1466789302347632,0.06825355369884475,0.0,0.0,0.06199454261391235,0.0,0.0838459585291995,0.0,0.09120642080231962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188080704241949,0.0,0.0,0.08529318066523939,0.0,0.0,0.10756864753563564,0.1695595348524013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590040532615807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713225147237428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496438012695724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840408827525024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13643725707519982,0.0,0.0,0.05356196150205733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083507642625158,0.24259429825204998,0.08512376903399871,0.08102124820659865,0.0,0.06404816377210443,0.0,0.058986886264587375,0.059498207882351675,0.06188735001861416,0.1549958783611528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909891798173593,0.0,0.0,0.05562949521425722,0.0,0.08383550366129149,0.0,0.22756304429987595,0.0,0.15369874600788078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16133015385172936,0.17977814865303662,0.08534693093605802,0.08026342003573304,0.0,0.15421467373080786,0.0,0.07922900374052798,0.08614956207697219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304903501098449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605993101814034,0.16359262734291624,0.0,0.12354797028346552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552698155438354,0.06408112965726223,0.0,0.09191660253110567,0.08388605292093633,0.0,0.08777140205095388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120663552650999,0.06449524337159493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283128972068396,0.0,0.0,0.04678958375829476,0.0,0.0,0.07667438827905138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06620781062100155,0.0,0.06369213087451596,0.06436505603952984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14481131681282444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336676690851457,0.0,0.08177315313564745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Kitten_in_my_hair,2018/11/12,"Frustrated with backslide It seems like for every step forward I take, I end up taking another three steps back. 

We had gotten my mania under somewhat control but my anxiety was terrible. The doctor started me on 10mg of Lexapro but it had only a little impact on the anxiety. So at my last appointment, he upped it to 20mg. For the past two weeks, my mania has been slowly creeping back... The paranoia, the racing thoughts, the fleeting concentration. Coupled with seeing a woman come out of the wall at me, walking in on a purple buffalo in the conference room at my job, and many incidents of seeing/feeling bugs on me.

Today the noise is just so bad in my head I want to cry",4.355496183206107,5.953756954198475,5.732740458015268,77.2942251908397,71.06106870229006,8.293435114503817,30.657251908396944,8.841846274778883,2.748144427480916,535,23,93,10,10,180,90,131,0.16699999999999998,0.81,0.023,-0.9688,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,0,1,5,4,1,0,12,0,6,2,1,1,0,14,15,5,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,6,0,1,2,0,0,5,0,3,0,2,6,2,13,1,23,9,1,30,0,0,2,0,3,18,0,2,10,68,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985378104490625,0.2896866999471905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911790692270665,0.15808964683342958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16309825766682026,0.0,0.0,0.2123591039579753,0.0,0.209499327066812,0.2079793305760952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19379586493965656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676976147728113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595257595247304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573517887721966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19431581208647614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878891365077531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15433605836502812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925011734166493,0.18976680758365405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19195940944641424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14400037737595686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807449171726276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15087818296596614,0.17236655904340076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13401468683695453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28471781138898605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15031353221708674,0.0,0.0,0.17947065479656912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18495609491423304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11167668790687406,0.0,0.15187583560140308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kellsndudz,2018/11/12,"My 2 Year Abilify Nightmare I just wanted to ask a psychiatrist some questions, but I have Medicaid and the only psychiatrist who takes my insurance was a good 40 minutes away. But that’s a whole different story.

I wanted to ask a psychiatrist about adding supplements to my diet to help with my depression. I had a whole list, including SAM-e, St. John’s Wort, and HTP-5.

Instead, the psychiatrist talked to me for ten minutes and then put me on Abilify, 2 mgs.

I thought I’d try it. After all, my Zoloft had worked so well for me in the past. Maybe Abilify would help get me out of my depression slump. And it did. I started writing again. I was more energetic. I felt better.

But then things started to get really weird. It started out with me dating, which is not something I ever have had any desire to do. But it soon warped into me getting an account on Adult Friend Finder and hooking up with strangers.

That’s not like me. I’m a demisexual (a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone) and an introvert. Before the Abilify, I had had sex with one person, my first boyfriend, at age 22. Before the Abilify, I was voluntarily celibate. After the Abilify, I had sex with 15–20 men (I’m not sure — I don’t remember), most of it unprotected.

I thought this was the new me. I thought this was who I was. So I started webcamming. Soon I was making money. I got an account on a well-known site, set up a Snapchat, and read countless articles on how to be a successful webcam model.

I think my mind started to split into two people. One was Emma Hunny, the alter ego I created to start webcamming. She would do anything for sex. She scored a 16 out of 20 on a sexual addiction test. I’m not sure how many photos and videos are on the Internet and on strangers’ phones of Emma Hunny’s naked body.

The other person was the real me, screaming to get out. And scream I did. I went through hell. I have several notebooks chronicling my decent into madness. The one question I kept asking, usually in all caps, was WHO AM I?

I soon lost my grip on reality. I would sometimes think my parents were strangers. I would be doing something and suddenly not know where I was. I was going insane.

I started smoking pot, even though I hadn’t smoked in over 7 years. I think marijuana helped bridge the gap between me and Emma because pot is an aphrodisiac for me.

I now know what it was. It was the Abilify.

Abilify has the incredibly strange side effects of hypersexuality and compulsive gambling. In fact, there are several class action suits against Abilify going on now by people who have gone through similar nightmares like mine.

I know Abilify has helped people. But it's also hurt a lot of people. I just want people to know. It might be the meds. 

I’m not sure what’s next. I’m pissed, but I’m also just so, so tired.

I’m weaning myself off the Abilify right now. I want it out of my system immediately but I have to take it slow. The withdrawal symptoms include flu-like symptoms, mood changes, suicidal thoughts, and a whole host of other things that I’m worried about.

I think I need to wait and let my mind heal before I really move on. Telling my story is the first step.

​",2.7850732600732613,5.25910162820513,4.46003663003663,80.72782051282053,78.39102564102564,7.743956043956044,27.372710622710624,8.657515384779499,2.402774908424908,2552,109,472,59,63,856,287,624,0.13,0.7929999999999999,0.076,-0.9902,2,0,3,0,0,0,96.0,0,0,1,8,27,23,3,0,38,0,50,12,2,4,7,94,101,34,1,10,18,1,2,2,1,5,6,2,0,5,28,29,1,2,17,2,4,8,9,10,1,7,34,4,72,12,70,58,10,73,1,4,0,3,28,32,2,6,33,331,100,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07327014592214416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10749756991473401,0.0,0.07282332419112711,0.08166898377775994,0.04570593148490623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05530910380050249,0.0,0.188500241654092,0.0,0.06314714966073501,0.0,0.0,0.04097133329293546,0.0,0.1715753828053352,0.0,0.0,0.059442858474708864,0.0,0.07465650902097784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110055438072366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157778432902474,0.0,0.0,0.07022141528700576,0.0,0.0,0.058816987836506636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560357134323004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04439237412279616,0.06079639256606456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06574546583056899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06453330725192626,0.0,0.0,0.11433965157445546,0.0,0.0,0.05192721856849224,0.0,0.1404603447676187,0.0,0.07639536559447234,0.05637357896163887,0.05375494910151787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18020104467861808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195099656227608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14775010581751966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872802180974505,0.0,0.06567201009752473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733689815577326,0.05714057213997049,0.0,0.0,0.044864008420804666,0.06814162355918169,0.06752270002835271,0.0,0.07465650902097784,0.0,0.0,0.07130047861681207,0.13572833629945866,0.0,0.0,0.07143488567682221,0.0,0.049836264852886,0.0,0.06491301099678437,0.07147989045117377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663217770869815,0.051117158235849364,0.0,0.0,0.07463010118596286,0.0,0.06416071054673025,0.2329789716197834,0.1760587234222067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06756583569718305,0.15058388731220587,0.0,0.06722940406555866,0.07650107793811224,0.08611445170972512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613720540812281,0.057398011019820006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15185908578473967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05694784500145925,0.10348495506382492,0.0664736109690669,0.0,0.3330071111245113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351816121537252,0.0,0.1900373263140233,0.1397163757708336,0.10106893941908188,0.054021829309106616,0.0587455650250361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930429049995643,0.17226493274611565,0.06603467823033426,0.21343279097859266,0.0,0.07724940534232308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045632003638282896,0.0,0.06565559162204106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.074023658626246,0.0,0.15857166574188122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12086190941441037,0.0623054703662116,0.0,0.22511676642220774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048930565552118124,0.06825625211031641,0.0,0.1909796771564338,0.0,0.08166898377775994,0.08656363868125241
bipolarreddit,Saria0424,2018/11/12,"Suicidal son My 15 yo son was brought home by the cops for smoking grass with friends at the school yard. Come to find out he’s been smoking for several months. He says this is his way of coping with his anxiety and depression. He also confessed that he’s been suicidal for the past several months. 
I have BP1 and have been struggling with suicidal ideation for years and I completely understand where he’s coming from. I’m in the process of getting him help. Are there any BP parents that have gone through this? How do you deal? I’m so lost and worried. ",3.3333333333333286,5.632353814814818,3.4812592592592613,89.3396666666667,75.66666666666666,7.653333333333332,30.24444444444445,8.548686976883017,2.3704822222222224,444,21,89,9,10,136,73,108,0.221,0.732,0.047,-0.9709,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,5,4,0,1,4,0,10,0,0,1,0,14,19,7,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,4,10,0,0,3,1,0,4,0,3,0,0,7,1,7,1,16,12,0,13,1,2,0,0,17,4,0,0,4,50,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12907275431618812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975858282234968,0.0,0.12347173736817504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780662728322108,0.16922644532754574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16639790202860202,0.13901491107299893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14751808477142572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469843048415455,0.0,0.08432564375984569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818405097795493,0.0,0.1618989058655977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618884852079195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576583409127755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792173111003089,0.0,0.1540760341972176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12835298387633756,0.0,0.16334697667762627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36467560123864856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168731935065588,0.0,0.5296412691667218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16802469669121867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12811303091154913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639110998726146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393730088115376
bipolarreddit,Katricide,2018/11/12,"I don't trust myself when telling my psychiatrist about my mood changes I've been having a lot of mood swings lately and it's impacting my life quite a bit. I recently saw a new pdoc for the first time last week and she asked about my symptoms recently and if I had any concerns.

My swings have been every couple days or even every day lately and it's been difficult. When I saw her I was having a really good day and felt like telling her I've been depressed was fraudulent. Since it was a good day I couldn't really remember how bad I had been feeling just two days prior. Like maybe I was overreacting. I didn't want to tell her about them because I thought maybe they weren't a big deal and I'll get my meds adjusted all for nothing. 

I did tell her about them and did get my Latuda raised. But I still feel like I lied even though I KNOW I've been having swings. But I've had mostly good days since the appointment and so I still feel like a liar. If I feel good today obviously nothing is wrong and we changed my dose for nothing.

It's kind of hard for me to articulate my feelings so I hope this made sense. I feel almost embarrassed telling my doctor's about any problems I have because I don't want to end up lying or exaggerating.",3.927799650043745,4.950542051181103,4.733018372703416,86.26261592300962,71.4015748031496,8.164129483814524,26.31583552055993,8.515128840125781,1.5698108486439195,987,31,211,16,18,319,124,254,0.14,0.74,0.12,-0.4483,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,3,2,16,20,1,1,9,0,26,4,0,2,2,40,44,21,0,7,7,0,8,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,10,0,0,11,0,0,0,5,7,0,2,22,10,41,11,15,21,4,24,0,1,2,0,16,2,0,8,26,127,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717375826734812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11840179029241887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138537441895828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07268791477828862,0.10613675413557536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504233156150793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18418688025735225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632553134859127,0.0,0.33686254014700223,0.08975065545888775,0.07498098975560423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891052488083599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771055548246742,0.0,0.0,0.11499900342706468,0.0,0.14669644781347402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641080170484659,0.12438529013140452,0.08358717199147446,0.0,0.0,0.07404957632412364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096607237437296,0.0,0.0,0.29207293046651184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798485234648429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646600251609439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906551669374267,0.04784356339632248,0.07096205527914377,0.19640535535619424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06149005064198911,0.17012416802437458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07401168535357222,0.0,0.08237425539930103,0.0,0.0,0.17491840356377167,0.0,0.09669931273564583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407898565450836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505970195754633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330059544155897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259450583722947,0.0,0.0,0.11154028504865543,0.0,0.17191410092593626,0.0,0.09861719404143847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14402683172018182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390456685208998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048425711386077,0.0,0.0,0.38045281239924894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553183219159853,0.06911254113516523,0.05076290780361912,0.0,0.08251867166736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504081787858075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026954735606363,0.0,0.06983087138342411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518179618720292,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lowkeyted,2018/11/12,"To others who developed the disorder before puberty, what was your childhood like? [TW suicide] My family growing up was middle class, nuclear, and well adjusted. But I have so many awful feelings towards childhood because of the crazy that was going on inside my head. When I look back on childhood the memories that stick with me are the first time I thought about suicide, or all the fights I got in and trouble I caused when I was probably manic. When did things start to go wrong? What symptoms did you have as a child?",4.8320876288659775,6.9756885360824725,5.074832474226807,80.27451675257736,70.85567010309279,8.148969072164949,31.712628865979386,8.841846274778883,2.8951865979381446,416,19,71,8,8,131,72,97,0.203,0.7390000000000001,0.057999999999999996,-0.9487,0,0,0,0,1,2,12.0,0,2,0,1,7,5,1,0,6,1,9,2,1,1,1,10,16,9,2,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,3,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,3,1,1,8,2,11,2,11,8,1,19,0,0,1,0,5,6,0,1,11,56,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16459260186193966,0.0,0.13048397489835606,0.0,0.1821422943295448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21989013555147094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24532187800245675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20178896275464364,0.0,0.10823100865695792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18207232992952824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433011123974985,0.0,0.17119675796428846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21967887444057999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457488478374156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797495801526735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21701490245528815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307840162827101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15150694761652875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4682757983008592,0.0,0.0,0.2224817525295692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14220648760191867,0.0,0.0,0.16993319903344928,0.12481531099309967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19245825174203648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23403201286157554,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MrDaveSummmers,2018/11/12,"Anyone discovered they just prescribe drugs to make money but you really don't need them? Most people don't need medication. They just need to stop the lifestyle that screws them up mentally.

Ex. porn, violence, bad food etc.",3.2160833333333336,6.367429774999998,3.5300000000000047,81.62833333333334,88.75,7.666666666666668,21.66666666666667,8.344100000000001,2.1514166666666665,181,6,30,5,6,56,32,40,0.316,0.684,0.0,-0.9493,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,4,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,2,5,0,1,0,9,6,1,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,3,6,2,2,0,0,0,2,6,1,1,1,1,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18522126684867765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22117688573000474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071949700304559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954287821877377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32031299119086354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768199694209575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668545986927973,0.2669526108684332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5892505242524643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18364535888609015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696989998663946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22146470742832094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fukinlovemothsbeech,2019/08/16,"Lamictal - new Med for me What’s your experience with it? I’ve felt in a daze, kinda irritable and crying off and on.. But I’m not sure if it’s the medication or not. It hasn’t even been a week so I’m not tooo worried. I just hope this one is good to meee",-1.888448275862068,-0.01196682758620682,1.8857758620689644,94.45556034482763,96.58620689655173,5.658620689655173,15.870689655172415,7.1686216300943375,-0.08555862068965503,196,5,51,4,8,72,47,58,0.158,0.7120000000000001,0.13,-0.1574,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,1,14,7,6,0,2,7,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,1,3,3,6,5,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,4,2,32,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3251158430381241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954894197197124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28952141484634264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28418346701567104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24825070648958625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939710458982355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3287627191652249,0.2981647780417315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28585555746396263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20056106229288875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2789539673597288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374141708788875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3005780920925363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dontyell_atme,2019/08/16,"Anti psychotic medication and tiredness Hi.  
I don't have bipolar disorder. 
I have depression and some other stuff and I got prescribed anti psychotics a few times for tension and I really wonder how people who take it daily deal with the tiredness? 
Does it work differently on pwbp? 
Does it go away?",3.534920634920635,6.714251222222224,4.900052910052911,73.67166666666667,83.07407407407408,7.530158730158732,28.08465608465609,8.418075326091056,3.026865608465609,242,11,36,6,7,80,42,54,0.198,0.762,0.04,-0.8352,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,2,0,3,2,0,1,0,8,7,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,4,6,2,4,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,2,1,26,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430228974873533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26667073756887555,0.22278651603754068,0.0,0.0,0.27024833108694,0.2964508105087941,0.0,0.4527163896486752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14700444280637565,0.0,0.20687685121374666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605762897988797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17932472024741136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16570647830083368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29610785271926393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944827805812412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15082878220686474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.280509560247174,0.1883101276947203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,zouperspazz,2019/08/16,"Officially diagnosed on 8/15 The first two weeks of August have been hell for my family, by family I mean my wife and children. I've treated them terribly and they're having to suffer because of it. They're replaying the ugly things I said, the inappropriate way that I behaved, and the monster I became. Ever since I was a kid, I experienced depression, followed by an onset of irritability, anger, anxiety & the feeling of being misunderstood. Because of my age, at first I didn't pay too much attention to it  as I thought, ""Hey, it's just puberty, nothing wrong here"". But finally, I ended up going to a psychologist and they diagnosed me with Bipolar Disorder and ODD. The psychologist advised my parents that I start taking medication and do some therapy as well, which ended in them trying to get me to go to a psychiatrist. I declined, I was 100% in denial. I eventually started taking drugs; marijuana first, then Rx pills, then cocaine, the hallucinogens, etc. Hanging out with the wrong crowd and doing all sorts of stupid things. All of this begun when I was around 13, and continued up until I was in my early 20's.

Back to two weeks ago. I got in a really bad fight with my wife because I compulsively lie. Because I don't want her to find out that I've been drinking. You see, I've always struggled with drugs or alcohol because I have an addictive personality. I've always had long bouts of depression, then these short burst that would last anywhere from a week to two weeks where I felt like a God. I felt like I could solve any problem and do anything and convince anyone to do what I want. Because of this, it turned me at some points into a manipulative person. Anyway, sorry my story is scattered...this is my first time actually posting here and I don't even know how or where to begin or how to end. So we got into a fight, and I started breaking things, breaking pictures, throwing my keys, destroying my phone, etc. Finally I go elsewhere for the night because that's what's best. The next day, I start telling her the truth about everything. I've been watching porn, masturbating, lying to her, and I can't get a grip of my drinking.

I've always thought that I was Bipolar because of that diagnosis as an early teenager, but I never believed it. All my life I've had bouts where I'm depressed for 2 - 3 months, sometimes more, then I have these bursts of energy that last for a long time. But when I have these bursts, I do stupid things, I spend a lot of money that I don't have to spend on things that I don't need. Like buying a lot of books that I haven't gotten around to reading yet, spending $100's on video games that I don't even play, clothes, etc. Then they just sit there and I feel good about it, I tend to be highly irritable and feel superior in intellect around others. My response time on just about everything is incredibly fast. I do great at work, etc...then I crash and go into an extremely depressed state, where I feel empty inside and hopeless. And I feel like people are out to get me, when they aren't.. I'm 26 now, and because I want to make my marriage work I went into clinic with LPC that screens you before you see a psychiatrist and they diagnosed me again with Bipolar Disorder..

And it all makes sense now, and my wife is behind me getting treatment so that we can make our marriage work..And I want to do it as well. Because I'm tired of feeling depressed and feeling like I can't get anything done, and I'm also tired of feeling like I'm invincible at times for a week or two at a time. Honestly, I really enjoy when I feel like I'm invincible, but the problem is that I can get dangerously aggressive to myself or to others and while I become super productive, I also have super violent and intrusive thoughts that extremely rapid...and I end up doing things and saying things that I literally don't think about/rationalize when I'm experiencing this invincible feeling until I come down from that natural high..

I got the official diagnosis yesterday...please can anyone relate to this? Is this normal behavior? Am I really Bipolar or is it something else? Do I need to come to term with this..? Anyone, please reach out...

I do a lot of reading on sociology and psychology, but I really don't know what to feel. I know that I feel like I can't even gather my thoughts collectively to type this out, and I just want to know what y'all think.",5.5068901204305645,6.238237001172338,6.574606415858469,75.54931024192689,67.61664712778429,9.626848555898967,31.68728551635937,9.710602052930415,2.969116483001172,3474,138,653,73,55,1165,330,853,0.127,0.75,0.12300000000000001,0.6679999999999999,2,0,7,1,2,1,126.0,3,4,6,9,41,46,10,1,33,0,57,21,0,6,7,125,129,63,0,12,15,4,15,8,0,1,18,2,0,4,52,52,3,0,27,8,6,10,14,24,2,8,24,23,104,22,101,101,16,117,1,7,4,1,37,39,1,12,70,452,156,8,0.0,0.0,0.0455503107646694,0.050885145986102887,0.0,0.0,0.0413766094180946,0.04988383740103512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465563865636242,0.11651775659325628,0.05057483421141739,0.0,0.03174216410748769,0.0,0.0357080061476447,0.0,0.0,0.0979135587633804,0.0,0.07682288020115703,0.124658077423745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03589196188820883,0.03897359514286413,0.2845404836605092,0.05155140974761334,0.03971894369705966,0.05258933200718765,0.04898494577873951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041672038790386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03726802526674556,0.0,0.0,0.030102996485112964,0.0,0.2010154471386092,0.1421294284994221,0.0,0.0,0.1069924576925238,0.0,0.0,0.047767083121869065,0.0,0.09145196601906433,0.10826169608433987,0.0,0.03899289400435288,0.0,0.16536893023654947,0.0,0.20823010890187804,0.09248974774699376,0.042222289477079344,0.0,0.0,0.08390109355208099,0.0,0.08800640707686193,0.0,0.2832173398240359,0.16673135947342652,0.08963505447278912,0.1022653994707113,0.04266220586335221,0.15881474751117958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632177387131093,0.0,0.1061111393190649,0.039150704002557934,0.11199630073397653,0.051461887183651404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863425879080986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10261049175438333,0.0760964576130879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032969556856113184,0.18243336512877945,0.0,0.0,0.08261588193476747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11905011182159066,0.0,0.0,0.09347237906855756,0.0,0.0,0.050845262777904215,0.0,0.047022468270759565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037257374915973085,0.0,0.03431318569109052,0.06922125186254799,0.03600041072846204,0.0,0.04964183727085145,0.04380348331803394,0.04573384271392465,0.044788127502499865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051829616906189716,0.0,0.0,0.03236016206426541,0.0815136345161677,0.0,0.1024753152437992,0.04412513520641767,0.0,0.04470394986268615,0.0,0.0,0.08932774290750589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337986153513972,0.0,0.11961069250274912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04440080055931382,0.03711966183530948,0.0,0.0,0.07439152830801449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03861194427088191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035934465391835334,0.046165042471439835,0.05225141495840301,0.13215373055983648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048797247880784836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07019103991502013,0.0,0.04079801691007175,0.0,0.05337955963360126,0.0,0.21707226466240465,0.05981785719648103,0.0,0.14822624672683676,0.13608954274223642,0.10729737790779373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031690822197074905,0.05077149783561995,0.1823877554736414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13765740225748085,0.037050267477341865,0.18720856954503665,0.0,0.08393699544759199,0.04327032402373447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194488928469353,0.0,0.0,0.033158214134069615,0.10206859836014116,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sansconformist,2019/08/16,"For A moment, orange was purple. I don't know how to start a dialogue here.  I really don't.  Just going for empathy.",-0.963750000000001,1.0724301250000003,3.466666666666669,80.89500000000002,101.91666666666666,7.4,14.333333333333336,8.07648339933343,1.3115333333333337,89,2,17,3,4,34,19,24,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,3,5,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,13,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4585022285476247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4433760625289931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5168332884046393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5710312824968481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,_Monkfish_,2019/08/16,"Stomach problems with Zoloft Anyone have stomach problems with Zoloft?  I had such bad pain, headache, and light headedness today that I went to urgent care.  They said it was esophageal irritation but fortunately it wasn't stomach bleeding.",7.236538461538463,10.865389,5.156089743589742,75.46182692307694,69.25641025641025,6.976923076923077,37.95512820512821,8.07648339933343,3.638020512820513,197,11,27,3,4,56,31,39,0.24,0.6779999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.6956,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,4,7,3,0,0,6,7,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,5,2,3,1,3,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,16,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247056813786284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683261142672536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3276527455782823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3419547154922987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6150052635065635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056914364908763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046161743741706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29790831114792593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sober-bipolar,2019/08/16,"Newly sober (yay!) but also uninspired Please pardon the throwaway. I have bp2 and am on lithium, risperidone, sertraline and the occasional xanax and ambien as needed. Until three weeks ago I was also quite a heavy and regular drinker but decided to quit cold turkey as i felt like alcohol was starting to take over my life.

So far I feel much better physically, but mentally I feel just, well, uninspired. I work in academia and need to come up with ideas and hypotheses and nothing’s coming! I’ve had a super productive summer until i quit the booze. Normally a couple of glasses of wine would have helped me along, but obviously that’s out of the question now. Can you think of any other reasonably safe stimulant? I already drink tons of coffee, and marijuana is not an option because it makes me hallucinate. I still have some Wellbutrin that I might try tomorrow.

Sorry guys, i know this all sounds incoherent, i’m all over the place right now.",5.3296305418719205,7.466925821839084,5.8720853858784885,75.0993103448276,69.51724137931035,9.109359605911333,30.24466338259441,9.606745405546679,3.1288042692939246,759,31,127,18,14,245,125,174,0.008,0.846,0.145,0.9776,1,0,4,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,6,8,6,0,0,9,1,11,6,0,3,3,42,24,19,0,4,6,0,3,1,0,2,3,1,0,1,5,13,4,1,9,2,0,2,1,0,1,1,4,5,15,6,20,18,5,21,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,5,11,87,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12902386349081188,0.15555178439571135,0.0,0.0,0.16062124430348576,0.23279720272598056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898096306838564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872769672946718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12872971161975882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507618700426976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16105151514027424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14258642921150072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14719183900275076,0.0,0.13975360952643764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14412025457122848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756104059551368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16431150708575185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999206717898044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280831762148766,0.07110979466895206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715769083638276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14668308856548362,0.15440862512690515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10699812886567872,0.2158512617776448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14261093797238947,0.13966193291721218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520718009089964,0.15977337523711874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16305255909362176,0.4644402761128044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965262276958705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430138112003633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16293455470632448,0.10302309161717604,0.0,0.11623873377839793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943766634867408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326442100710748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09882086460373088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11675375658366972,0.0,0.13086953709796895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10596424456263033,0.0,0.0,0.10339660388321684,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PrincessPeach35,2019/08/16,"Pregnant and need advice 
Are any of y’all pregnant/have gone through pregnancy? I’m rapid cycling bipolar w ptsd and panic disorder and I’m currently unmedicated and I don’t know how to get a grip on myself at all. When I’m on my meds I’m like not fully okay but definitely nowhere near how bad I am unmedicated. I CANT go on any of my meds so that’s NOT an option. I’m in therapy and getting DBT but like i already rationalize everything and I’m aware of how stupid I’m being but I literally can’t stop myself. It’s like it’s not me who’s in control of what I’m saying or how I’m feeling and it’s like a literal conversation between rational me and my mental illness. Worst part is my bf is getting the worst of it and I feel SO fucking bad. But if I even get slightly irritated I literally cannot stop myself whatsoever from losing it and I’m a fucking handful to deal with and I feel horrible about it and don’t want to push him away bc I can’t get a fucking grip on myself. I really don’t know what to do about it and any advice would be appreciated.",1.0309195844555603,3.0944486637168147,4.219165063485956,82.31461908426319,82.27433628318585,7.2932666410157765,25.755290496344752,8.321376580360154,1.8852226240861885,842,36,178,19,23,306,111,226,0.177,0.6940000000000001,0.129,-0.9268,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,2,11,15,4,1,6,1,15,6,1,5,1,40,42,26,0,4,9,0,6,4,1,1,2,1,0,0,11,14,0,3,5,0,0,3,10,10,0,0,1,7,23,5,24,38,4,16,0,1,0,3,7,9,3,3,8,113,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564157666163031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14478332273918448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676630874659656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326745124572032,0.0,0.21909434131549568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14715283048561706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526224270139925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503674600581565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665687750378595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791480077767898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990171688370508,0.09372986312030272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3638790196374799,0.34273496099233863,0.0,0.0745644265371422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442090344794759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563922947083929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14678011244834996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914689779463262,0.0,0.1322195270261389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09728371559170744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393584600595056,0.0,0.142077658821874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533666902640305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405057896287732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043361259058767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21937945295905992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500395256681422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07738561906913823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320126945271408,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,y2kpink,2019/08/16,delusions about my doctor causing my illnesses I’ve been having persistent thoughts that my psychiatrist is the one causing my illnesses. I know this doesn’t make sense because I’ve had these illnesses before I saw my psychiatrist but I can’t stop believing this. Im scared of going back and thinking about canceling my next appointment.  I’m currently not taking mood stabilizers and just taking Zoloft. How do gain control of my delusional thinking?,7.39168776371308,9.713888949367089,7.3196835443038,66.03539029535865,64.56962025316456,11.342616033755275,38.4831223628692,11.20814326018867,5.314061603375527,373,20,54,12,6,119,55,79,0.159,0.785,0.055999999999999994,-0.7469,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,1,1,0,7,5,0,5,0,15,17,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,4,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,4,1,10,0,4,13,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,34,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739260842532549,0.0,0.13788327394512714,0.0,0.19247095963774952,0.2548385796795733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4647187031463832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536912251624662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23151496447117545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12854894234326822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443239246752316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430806297052642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15098352594810316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405555427298308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15327214155672528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22645556600273226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18910489867232047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401333357063977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898667312477615,0.0,0.17956952838808798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,meowrawrnda,2019/08/16,"Need a different view point I need other people’s opinions. I basically have nothing left where I currently live. I have been evicted from my apartment and moved in with my boyfriend, and have been on a medical leave from my full time job due to my mental health. I was able to continue working at my part time job. 

My boyfriends parents live in another state and need help, as they are aging. My boyfriend wants to move to help them, and invited me. I want to go, and said I would. 

My mom has been trying to get power of attorney over me for a few months. Boyfriend and I have decided to elope on our road trip to his parents so if someone were to take POA, it would be him because he would be my husband. I would be free from her constant pressure and I will no longer feel like a constant disappointment. 

I guess I just want another viewpoint. Or advice? I don’t know. Maybe I just needed to vent. 

I can’t wait to escape. Just the thought of moving and starting over with the man I love lifts so much weight off my shoulders.",3.5772058823529416,5.138623828431378,4.074656862745098,88.55845588235296,72.97058823529412,7.256862745098039,28.43627450980393,7.865858978985527,1.6577803921568632,807,32,167,11,16,254,125,204,0.045,0.855,0.1,0.8689,8,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,0,2,2,6,5,0,1,6,0,21,5,1,0,0,33,39,13,0,12,5,4,2,1,0,5,2,1,0,1,2,10,1,1,4,0,1,5,3,2,0,0,7,4,34,4,28,24,4,30,0,1,1,1,16,14,0,4,11,112,36,3,0.11179299455775203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924282043833823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344494044091245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06814797185734463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24161702385603145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679988538686185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056525897052047226,0.07986493764935455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05840722557073266,0.0,0.06353453507774104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12315258715901364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11883072553878647,0.0,0.0,0.1498649755137456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22187459431305226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06143850616955732,0.0,0.0,0.11837263960252672,0.121463415688885,0.0,0.0,0.054616410258645984,0.0,0.19743052467420155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089754227828818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123110890330125,0.0,0.0,0.11261968079740588,0.11266104452127815,0.0,0.0,0.1309306040914395,0.08923210168861663,0.356454783440702,0.08218071406676303,0.33157235576273025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726839335189947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24826578129488014,0.1210609189582543,0.0,0.07750318637561016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10568051454626168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634073816258284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472184150680384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912765694336209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405441909759466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875115028018622,0.13037478828414567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590010501982247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19781521394032733,0.0,0.0,0.13613375016325904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813866314861826,0.0,0.0,0.3176581433444715,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,aubreewatson,2019/08/16,Best mood stabilizer besides Lamictal? I am currently on lamictal 100 mg and am still having bad manic and depressive episodes. My psychiatrist said it should help my anxiety as well but it feels like my anxiety has just gotten worse. Every time I tell him about this he says I just need to keep having more panic attacks and getting used to triggers. However I’m having panic attacks even when a trigger isn’t there. I feel like this medication may be causing my anxiety to worsen. What mood stabilizers have you found that worked for you?,5.54810606060606,7.7627984949495,6.280694444444446,72.07437500000003,69.1010101010101,9.798484848484847,32.57702020202019,10.125756701596842,3.814605050505051,437,20,71,12,8,143,74,99,0.294,0.607,0.1,-0.9783,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,2,8,12,2,2,1,0,11,1,0,4,0,17,21,6,0,2,3,0,2,2,0,2,1,2,0,0,6,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,3,4,11,4,7,15,2,5,0,1,0,0,8,1,0,1,6,49,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38577073683054747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3824588018040946,0.0,0.0,0.14035015427662798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17640263034694995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17267722443579092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14477775999094472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102346189099883,0.0,0.14162511846194914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699851621438007,0.240170525085694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18430466869593692,0.0,0.0,0.08782135469578498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266880974451572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14940827138776974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16424293709093876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16933543472386853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463840380284676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3944404881644541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15989438966721728,0.13367384369301186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13423882833845016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14692018907979676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801604521878853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14517788591269265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15113527783878467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237328791773193,0.0,0.17130054237778178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hoodieninja69,2019/08/16,"Is this Bipolar? Well I don’t know where to start as I’ve never really talked about anything like this before. 
I guess I would say I’ve always had a feeling something wasn’t right with me, but I couldn’t place it. I am 23 and for as long as I’ve known I’ve had anxiety (so i thought).

Today for some odd reason I can’t think of why I was thinking to myself maybe I should take some of those online tests. So I took 5 or 6 of them they all said “High Probability of Bi-Polar” now I understand these things can’t diagnose me etc. But it has made me think about my behaviour in the past and the more I think about it the more it makes sense. My mother has Bi Polar (I’ve heard it is hereditary) and also I’ve been known to cycle through emotions.

I’ve had multiple incidents where I have just broken down and left everything. By this I mean over the years I have randomly just woken up one day and flipped, dropped everything and moved cities or countries without any plan. I guess you would say I have restarted my life a few times for no reason at all. The last time that this happened was a few months ago, everything was going good, had a loving boyfriend who I had been dating for 2 years, had a good stable job and was going to college. Within a week I quit my job, dropped out of college, gave up my boyfriend and moved countries. I don’t think this is normal. Also not the first time I have done this.

In addition to that my emotions change very drastically. I will go from sleeping a lot and being depressed, to being depressed and not sleeping at all to being happy and cleaning everything in my house. I sometimes wake up and I just don’t know what’s wrong and I can’t work I just lay in bed all day. 

Also I have had experiences in the past where I have just gone crazy (I don’t know how to put it) and just started fucking every guy and having a lot of meaningless sex. 

There’s so many examples I could list but I would be here all day. I am just looking for some support and some kind of understanding. Does this sound like Bi-Polar?

I want to try and go to the doctor, but I am scared of it because as I said the more I think about it the more it makes sense and I don’t want to be put on medication and be a “zombie” I’ve seen people that I know put on medication and I’m scared to become like that. I understand that doesn’t happen to everyone, but I’m scared it will be me.

Any advice?",2.7353382761816505,4.079147726907632,3.962289156626504,89.39832715477293,74.7429718875502,7.035403151065802,23.813407476058078,7.61054688173877,0.9196740191535372,1880,55,412,24,39,615,215,498,0.092,0.828,0.08,-0.8638,2,0,1,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,2,4,25,17,1,3,19,0,54,13,3,6,6,88,100,38,0,9,17,1,1,3,0,6,6,6,2,1,27,23,0,0,20,0,0,11,16,7,1,2,25,9,54,10,55,60,18,58,0,2,2,4,14,23,1,11,25,281,81,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935961167833274,0.06291837804266055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17028503889240068,0.059060004844276426,0.0,0.0,0.0965359660588183,0.0,0.0542985484200802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05840946233632944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04326798636034258,0.07839045133828651,0.060397687247275435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508610459812387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05667075518302589,0.0,0.0,0.1373262628115873,0.0,0.12226778436756584,0.07204193576256977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07264975684389764,0.062113981238321375,0.07263590313764642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15968307744752394,0.0,0.0,0.07916006710075704,0.0,0.0,0.0598026570041546,0.06782323603780344,0.2551644901089412,0.06943083590843077,0.0,0.0,0.03588898797713108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06037448732017341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06561870936668923,0.0,0.0,0.16135543419598528,0.11906721356400007,0.0,0.0,0.15638218764870895,0.07028012040084951,0.1255325459948,0.07555819775485274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499294492510851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08189994612303504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408709116177321,0.0,0.0,0.0739134441879151,0.15603225595672546,0.05785715353604778,0.0,0.0,0.07711861806113149,0.0,0.050134389244198385,0.1040298939080143,0.0,0.0,0.06281395896139237,0.059604272389629426,0.0,0.0,0.12068718771232735,0.06406109182864196,0.06716180814249491,0.09475773173124348,0.07196131054975077,0.07130769318517698,0.07731666538485342,0.0,0.14300724379145632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056654559975017935,0.15087835375131994,0.0,0.0,0.0547431866399829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954410343637088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04809703701216224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551449394908935,0.049207727238056866,0.0,0.07415768525565672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652709596319315,0.0,0.0,0.21405974048749898,0.0,0.07549463610862454,0.0,0.0,0.0454708038833487,0.14595595015898866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060615463503712365,0.1350340878228648,0.11289029956854647,0.2131863291466938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14206001725504072,0.0,0.0,0.05464290839876445,0.07019979731116621,0.0,0.10047824720354523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054584280243546,0.0,0.0,0.053367185551088166,0.05705002951686253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047155126679004664,0.2728818967325181,0.0,0.0563491980044003,0.12416483735611725,0.0,0.0672795543684367,0.0,0.07886000136826485,0.04818991114835813,0.0,0.0,0.22167414155319928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058564901110808476,0.08373020986895184,0.0,0.05693487077415895,0.0,0.06381841921811908,0.0,0.06404728059516014,0.0,0.0,0.06842098079110882,0.0,0.05167337435118188,0.0,0.0,0.15126379962838588,0.07760411918985577,0.0,0.09141597396850802
bipolarreddit,Rosertot,2019/08/16,"Mixed episode, another hospitalization, and a diagnosis change. Stay on your meds, kids.

A few months back, my psychiatrist (who is no longer with the practice) and I made the decision to stop my risperidone. 2 months later, I was in the hospital for the 3rd time in my life dealing with my first mixed episode. My diagnosis changed from 2 to 1.

I'm signed up for PHP intake next month. I don't ever want to go back after this last experience. It was so drastically different from my first 2 hospitalizations.",4.637872340425531,6.889426989361702,5.562712765957446,76.10875000000001,71.65957446808511,9.380851063829788,29.835106382978722,9.827888789773867,3.0557702127659567,403,17,76,11,8,132,66,94,0.065,0.935,0.0,-0.5606,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,6,0,4,1,0,1,1,10,8,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,3,0,10,0,14,5,1,20,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,14,47,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989903786796406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29184281380974025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4015029692247066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956445247688516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982692468888669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171657818606571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18563146218724516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3228365095540553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078506573835643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546878684141602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340401546301271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17956495101215808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107916759928969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4544177815289932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018225350418915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022695574177744,0.0,0.1586562072350657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11065640604344583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193125564351084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Saxypants12,2019/09/06,"New to Mood stabilisers - dealing with uneasy emotions Hi
When getting on mood stabilisers, how long is this crazy fluctuation take to Settle.
Not I'm definitely in more Control or making choices everyday just the weird feelings, how to deal With them.

Thoughts
Links
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bipolarreddit,SlowTurtleWinsDaRace,2019/09/06,"(PT 2) Depression After Manic Episode Testimony I didn't know what was real or fake in the moments I began to be pulled back to Earth by the anti-psychotics, my delusions were still playing out the story in my head, but now I was being subjected to a pain of the mind that cannot be articulated through words. My head was in an intense physical pain, my body and limbs were being tortured by the restlessness of akathisia (a result of the anti-psychotics), and my mind turned seconds into minutes, minutes into hours, and hours into days. I could not be alone, and had I not had my parents I am certain I would not have been able to make it out of that pit that no human should experience.

It took a statement from my brother and the psychotics to finally start kicking in to bring me from the mixed state of psychosis/depression to just depression alone. He said something to the effect of, ""you have to start questioning what was real and what was your imagination while you were in New York?"" and this was so important because I had been so cryptic with my delusions that most people didn't know I was actually psychotic. I was being sly in my statements, keeping my cards close to my chest, as if I didn't want them reading the next move I was going to play in my odyssey.

Once I finally was able to separate myself from the delusions, I was still not out from the pit. I developed a routine during this time that was crucial for my survival. I would watch the news with my dad, walk the dogs with him, do puzzles with him, go to the VA support groups, eat all meals with my parents, etc. Basically the gist was I HAD to be with someone at all times. If you have ever had a bad psychedelic trip you know that time is a tricky illusion if it gets the best of you. Hours can seem insurmountable to make it through, much less entire days or weeks.

My doctor did not provide an explanation for how long it would take me to get out of this hell hole because there likely isn't a clear answer. Well let me provide it in case any of you are or will be there. The deepest depression is no more than a couple of weeks. Remember this if you are ever in a position where the clock is playing tricks on you and you are in agony; idle hands are the devil's workshop. That two weeks or so WILL pass, but you must find someone who is willing to be with you when you need it most, and if you don't have that you need to check yourself in to a hospital.

After I emerged from the pit my doctor still did not give any prognosis on when I would come back to normal. My brain was incapable of holding a conversation about the most basic of topics. I mean that small talk about the weather was far too overwhelming and I would try and remove or distance myself from ANY chance at a conversation. The depression still had me counting hours and just waiting for when I could finally get myself to bed (even though I was having terrible nightmares).

The cycles of medicine saw me go through many different medicine combos, and as you know many have an ""effective date"" where they won't start working until x amount of time. Well my doctor is cycling me through these medicines for weeks which turn into months, and I am demanding answers on when I will finally be able to talk, feel and function like a normal human. He didn't give dates, just promising that I will get there.

So let me tell you how long it took to get back to where I was prior to the hypo mania, extreme depression, or depression before that. I want you to know, that if you were like me searching for these answers in desperation, where each day of agony weighs on you not knowing how long you can keep it up, that time is a fickle thing that will play tricks on you. A month might seem like a long time, but it isn't. For me, my recovery to feeling normal again, completely, was in total about 6 months. I came out of my manic episode early July, and by New Years I was feeling 100% my self again. If you think 6 months is too much time for you to hold out, let me stop you and remind you that if you are 25, and you live for another 55 years to be 80 years old, 6 months is only 1/110 of that. So remember, that this too will pass, and sooner than you think.

I didn't think I would be able to ever be my happy, funny, goofy, ambitious self again. But I am. More so than I ever was. I take my meds religiously, I don't drink or do drugs, I sleep healthy amounts, and I am 100% functional socially, emotionally, and professionally. I am 8 months+ with absolutely no depression, I felt comfortable enough to move cross-country to study at a top 40 university and live with my best friend, and I work on the side as well. I get stressed, just like every other college kid, but I am not letting my illness effect me. And I hope that if you are struggling this helped.",8.380126849894294,6.336430712473575,8.033128964059197,76.65341437632135,62.69978858350952,11.16786469344609,36.270613107822406,9.648456367147027,3.1692350951374197,3778,135,761,56,43,1206,366,946,0.11800000000000001,0.784,0.098,-0.972,3,2,3,0,0,0,108.0,0,30,2,10,50,42,4,4,47,0,110,18,7,9,10,159,163,64,0,27,33,4,5,5,1,17,7,1,1,5,43,47,4,6,29,6,1,16,22,21,3,2,46,8,118,21,124,81,18,132,2,8,2,0,59,42,1,25,78,564,161,9,0.1893762881108095,0.0,0.046200984834542484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806836079128248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658677742873402,0.04964438752673088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921400704242692,0.03953032257992176,0.0577210137525962,0.0,0.040286318239901885,0.0,0.09936936539189624,0.0,0.0,0.0525885910657405,0.0,0.052851642007609535,0.0,0.05414900579499179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04078272592123504,0.04963935876238135,0.0,0.0,0.07560077818383483,0.052385315200010885,0.0,0.09159902934153452,0.0,0.3262190389080939,0.0,0.0,0.0494644785968793,0.0,0.14537599158137193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046379166510682635,0.054904092804060764,0.04844480514487857,0.0,0.05325570869328315,0.0,0.04891908227280778,0.052801155151134455,0.03127031306171983,0.1713016945933333,0.039889422616422296,0.0,0.0,0.04631158705825491,0.0,0.0,0.0718157560422119,0.0,0.0454577336885352,0.2074524669855588,0.0432716241231372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036577912606554366,0.0,0.14841194147977738,0.09083349585511848,0.08072018153373386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05039864503293131,0.0,0.0,0.09717735333106664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0317337335099618,0.0,0.0,0.047023346069056296,0.18649749684087802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416317309386191,0.0,0.0,0.1561143829918594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19365008522937427,0.0,0.11564961075642705,0.0,0.08361136596813984,0.16759205565381602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320507142247121,0.09599891618030276,0.0,0.05157157382847834,0.0525885910657405,0.0,0.0,0.05022457869972867,0.09560803294030107,0.0,0.2267375196223071,0.10063851203197133,0.0696066808382144,0.0702100590279658,0.0,0.09145039956788213,0.05035095770824823,0.0,0.13916141546658353,0.0,0.0,0.049679639462936236,0.050419891566144966,0.0,0.03600730018266024,0.10075486128549074,0.0,0.105139978387166,0.0,0.0,0.032822418369406574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05303619587091847,0.0,0.04735688400596995,0.1077758378079338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726320886423933,0.0,0.04503505418174925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620053011005828,0.09878038496667467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047378263350313074,0.04826131925266395,0.08022895718350291,0.03644777966900936,0.0,0.0,0.10053113357942747,0.0,0.15123614831261645,0.039581764142372515,0.054232474548810965,0.049494303583461255,0.0,0.0,0.053725491884399984,0.0,0.0,0.07119370024473964,0.07610674346858531,0.04138080572665688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03145329774392919,0.09100850905652998,0.046515310388234386,0.0,0.1932469639120656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052020120742067,0.032143517160302,0.1029935103472398,0.0462482790083392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055849520649096235,0.0,0.15190623532088476,0.0,0.12770401964213926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893409660268753,0.0,0.0,0.20179122240415925,0.0,0.0,0.09146409044839787
bipolarreddit,lifeishard27,2019/09/06,just so exhausted been going through alot lately and feeling overwhelmed and exhausted my job doesn't allow me to get sleep often so I just feel like I've been going through the motions feels like I've been in a downward spiral for a while,6.0450354609929065,6.830875914893618,5.83489361702128,81.13333333333334,66.44680851063829,7.9687943262411345,32.687943262411345,7.793537801064563,2.340424113475177,196,8,35,2,3,61,34,47,0.147,0.687,0.166,-0.0064,1,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,4,0,4,3,1,1,0,10,10,5,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,3,3,3,2,5,7,1,7,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,4,24,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4768125844688924,0.44912284239053935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16422738148024366,0.0,0.3572883398389167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119295882056297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3545842573712292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30713700077281825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31456261746283504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DarkPerpendicularity,2019/09/06,"Festival. Ketamine. Dissociation. I wanna tell someone! So I went to a festival with my girls a couple of weeks ago. I had had an AWFUL week, not mental health wise (bipolar), just a bad week. Anyway... I was on good form, I was actually the most calm out of everyone even though the journey was nuts.

So day 3, I’d be doing MDMA and coke the previous, this day I did the same and a key of ket. I’m not on my meds anymore, all has been well and manageable so far since I stopped them last year. So... bla bla bla, did drugs, festival bla bla... we are in a forest (part of the festival site) and ya girl just DISSOCIATED for 4 hours. To a point where my friends had to lead me round by the hand because I just wasn’t present enough to move to another stage. I don’t know why. I don’t particularly like the dark but that wasn’t a big big thing at that moment. Apart from that I can’t pin point any reason for that to happen.

I guess what I am asking, and it may be obvious, but is that because of the drugs or is it because of the bipolar? Or has anyone ever at least experienced something similar? I’ve always taken party drugs but ket like once a year I’d that and I’ve never dissociated like that - this is why I’m asking. Does that make sense? Can someone just say some words so I know whether I should go to the doctors or if I should just not ever do ketamine again. Help!",1.8295774647887344,3.540604661971834,3.756597183098592,88.36305070422537,78.08450704225352,6.797521126760564,22.979718309859148,7.699297019823105,0.915800450704225,1060,33,235,16,25,359,155,284,0.035,0.835,0.13,0.9753,0,0,4,0,0,0,44.0,1,1,1,1,18,13,0,0,19,1,29,9,1,3,5,45,41,20,0,4,16,0,2,3,1,3,7,1,0,2,14,9,1,1,3,0,0,5,9,1,1,0,13,4,23,12,25,23,8,37,0,0,1,0,11,14,0,8,20,154,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.11115944266470572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097408261456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478200160084913,0.0,0.0,0.07746250710317336,0.11944426008807008,0.0,0.0,0.1129678212031114,0.07964831588589548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21298039931501392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09510984759473796,0.20831490091905788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12603892454462248,0.0,0.14692467540389298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165914122024818,0.09968315249361566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3962972896335952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769917763849436,0.0,0.07523628737222927,0.20607570343693013,0.0,0.10884560683087782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800635730481095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647375117162376,0.09554205808472248,0.0,0.0,0.12548438489927294,0.0,0.10072997798433862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12108069221571018,0.0,0.0,0.07635127569835454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217811634014713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12520359228608893,0.0928516147862405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669515875747703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07603561415482968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12652800571946352,0.0,0.11479419312245835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106799182033058,0.0,0.0,0.087854188590526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131012067771375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12335311260008246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21536298456407565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171181507527711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058557125620736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09422728699978522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19303065071073908,0.08769325781436439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523361585275897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956210496518507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567654801523102,0.0,0.11191570908389134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741144888366924,0.0,0.10241850688032278,0.1055954398917142,0.2055715866568813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14670823366628966
bipolarreddit,CertainlyNotYourWife,2019/09/06,"My rage is going to destroy me I have these outbursts of rage and anger that I can't seem to stop. The target is often my loved ones, more specifically: my children. I will completely lose my shit on them, yelling, screaming, throwing stuff. I'm doing psychological damage to them and destroying our relationship but I can't seem to stop it. I don't know how to stop it. I'm on Depakote for it but so far I still feel the same. I still rage and I still hate myself for damaging them.",1.8715463917525736,4.183428783505157,3.3991855670103104,87.96888144329898,80.75257731958762,6.35422680412371,23.1020618556701,7.554174236665415,1.0187987628865982,380,13,79,6,10,125,59,97,0.309,0.614,0.077,-0.9768,0,0,0,0,1,0,12.0,1,0,3,1,6,13,8,0,2,0,8,2,1,1,0,15,17,7,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,6,3,0,3,4,0,0,2,3,12,0,1,0,3,18,1,10,16,2,11,0,3,0,1,7,3,1,3,6,58,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21250904329813056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102482505755951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11518929723151465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20010728810134115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113891577228963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267501915550323,0.0,0.0,0.1829291262335036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373431002173701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176054585884329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3690295894668683,0.0,0.0,0.2080509656116236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.485588200441731,0.5083556500122872,0.0,0.0,0.23202329676790934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Team_Inkfluence,2019/09/06,"Should I say ‘goodbye’? I’ve decided to give up and have a plan that does not involve an obvious intention. Do I say goodbye to everyone I’ve hurt and have left me, or just go quietly?",2.6278070175438586,3.990165815789478,5.1868421052631595,80.43622807017546,75.05263157894737,10.329824561403509,33.719298245614034,10.504223727775694,3.9378666666666655,143,8,30,5,3,51,29,38,0.105,0.895,0.0,-0.5803,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,1,9,6,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,3,5,0,3,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,1,0,18,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137765578671373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3426175737423633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3439615449891008,0.2037767976138745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3838437986517965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38957436055899225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5702794911712181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,WakeBoredom,2019/09/06,Maintaining friendships Does anyone else have difficulty forming or maintaining friendships? Or relationships for that matter. I feel like I always find myself in a good spot and still ruin it. I watch myself ruin it like some sort of torture movie that I can’t control.,6.592021276595747,9.328939638297877,6.315904255319152,70.70875000000002,67.51063829787232,8.104255319148937,30.89893617021277,8.841846274778883,3.0632170212765963,221,9,31,4,4,69,36,47,0.239,0.522,0.239,-0.4576,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,1,6,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,9,3,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,6,3,3,3,2,2,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,4,3,22,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630902624693495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22108307461059326,0.3239676826426786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3546270334124136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766945866342897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641310050412985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598720367795192,0.22588178012487084,0.0,0.0,0.2889862781333459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651999822099799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089428812282536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3394630880876362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525048025451667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,diirtypillows,2019/09/06,"About to rage quit life and run away. I was diagnosed with cyclothymia a couple months ago and found this sub a great please to lurk. I had a pretty severe depressive episode in June that led to being diagnosed. I guess I’m still dealing with the diagnosis. 

I’m having a really hard time not just up and leaving the life of have established. I have kids, their dad and I are still close we don’t have a traditional marriage but that fuck up is another story. I feel like I can’t trust myself or fully function. I’m not sure if what I’m experiencing is agitated hypomania or a mixed episode but I haven’t been able to go to work all week and it’s this strange mix of crying and feeling like a failure and just not giving a shit all accompanied by rice paper thin patience and obtuse anger.

I’m exhausted and I feel so alone. I just want to feel normal again but I get the feeling that’s out of reach. I’m scared of what people think of me between missing work and the phone calls sobbing to my mom at odd hours. 

I’m not really sure what I’m trying to accomplish with this post, I’m just hoping someone out there understands. 
How long did it take for you to come to terms with a bipolar diagnosis and how did you cope with the way that changed peoples perception of you? How did you have to change your perception of yourself? 




P.S. even if you read this and don’t post a comment, thank you. It feels good to be heard, even if I’m just shouting into the black abyss of the internet.",3.2832000000000012,4.8812295200000015,4.349666666666668,86.14150000000002,73.8,7.666666666666668,25.833333333333336,8.344100000000001,1.5638333333333336,1176,40,245,20,24,383,164,300,0.184,0.6890000000000001,0.127,-0.9633,0,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,7,1,4,16,18,4,1,17,0,20,8,1,4,4,63,51,24,0,6,17,2,8,2,0,0,6,2,0,1,14,23,0,0,11,1,0,4,8,9,0,0,8,12,23,9,37,41,3,28,0,3,1,1,19,10,3,7,13,152,37,5,0.11254792161130654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976694175541798,0.0,0.0,0.11656570411210397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11801630904351655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574247720484757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492401157715353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381215554858407,0.0969500687940998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453213456722888,0.12362860704676445,0.0,0.1160319652186031,0.09693735996573326,0.228467542640676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14867368151907812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3414456651200661,0.16080851537451096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234029868528198,0.0,0.1040487399566055,0.05880164379774984,0.10796622188730376,0.06396357751957685,0.09439985684759078,0.0,0.1240844809055326,0.1239842244197325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082083109900113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178548106687494,0.1108370317347768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917199834937953,0.0,0.0,0.15899185094307594,0.10997045896834864,0.0,0.0,0.09960136894945698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181476553248406,0.08983467726033961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11027306699268162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15605311548072828,0.0,0.0,0.12354382042267167,0.0,0.0,0.21557959556914885,0.11450169798689305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11970856843113133,0.1125783786772915,0.0,0.14420216107688635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268010367658968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271471159285491,0.11552882417691365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953614887494497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797618311657331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121501683374307,0.0,0.08462203029003662,0.0,0.0,0.10361900492953924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211616368263135,0.0,0.0,0.06562759817796303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641265093447272,0.0,0.0,0.117166355613009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06638368018244775,0.08933530150051723,0.0902791539306116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638724547446162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pootfactory,2018/12/02,"Need to stop Depakote ER NOW. Stepped on the scale and realized I’ve gained 20 pounds in the 2 months I’ve been ramping up on Depakote ER. Started at 250 in September then did a 2 week fast track to 750mg about a month ago. I’ve been at 750mg for about three weeks now. 

If I felt like it was making a difference I absolutely would continue taking it, but all it’s done is make me restless at night, groggy in the mornings (to the point of missing work) and apparently extremely ravenous. It’s done a decent job keeping the depressies away, but I’m in and out of dysphoric mania constantly. I’ve also started having some random lower abdominal pain which scares me because of this med’s reputation for causing liver and kidney damage. The cons are outweighing the pros significantly at this point.

My psychiatrist is not easy to get in touch with and is booked solid for the next two months. I feel like I need to get off of this medication but I want to do it safely. I’m in a bit of a pickle because in the time it would take me to find an available psychiatrist (seriously is everyone in this city fucked up as I am or do we just need more mental health care professionals?), the side effects could continue or get worse. That said, does anyone have any experience with tapering off of this medication? Withdrawal symptoms? Any info helps at this point.",6.190744274809163,6.652335125954199,6.9649522900763365,74.2930009541985,66.06106870229007,10.366793893129772,32.405534351145036,10.270032843473604,3.254808396946567,1081,42,203,25,16,359,156,262,0.128,0.7859999999999999,0.085,-0.9423,3,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,0,3,6,11,1,2,17,0,19,8,2,4,1,39,41,14,0,8,8,0,3,2,0,2,5,1,0,0,14,9,0,3,6,1,0,1,1,7,2,2,8,4,11,4,42,30,4,45,0,2,0,1,3,25,1,5,21,125,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10235777687726964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234184859134728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15704802288101646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073977336559834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848849025279228,0.0,0.0,0.14077969049989886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12606405886999966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773003805823062,0.118620180183164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247827664965676,0.0,0.09219392957900936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064226760560536,0.0,0.0,0.10104915654755432,0.23633316045118424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033716820775057,0.0,0.1129524668531484,0.0,0.0,0.058385437418991326,0.08249226570972487,0.11086994602916113,0.0,0.10553809532164034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067507685556664,0.1809859687978228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227399165909721,0.0,0.0,0.07739755232101672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11458681698762735,0.10263563206311814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11282626794122284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15415513024455985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282618771353041,0.23264909247842094,0.11636727071131107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765027479763158,0.0,0.0,0.2568601035569671,0.0,0.0,0.12280436156098964,0.108361396329245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228689281942284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32747130378662925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983904434747856,0.0,0.1156062790709892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16346146115378668,0.0,0.0,0.0965386458610589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12001823322513774,0.17363913823405805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06733187299415483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279806056168085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06810758959681157,0.0,0.18524720377522025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406401892222468,0.0,0.11767447194451496,0.16405409392967701,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DogAsMyWitness,2019/07/11,"Any idea why Abilify made me feel the same awful way as Lexapro? (of course, not looking for medical advice blah blah. Also wow, this is way too many words.)

I had a terrible reaction to a low dose of Lexapro when I first went to the doctor complaining of anxiety earlier this year. I didn't know it at the time, but I was experiencing an extreme mixed episode. At my first appointment with my mental health doctor, she told me she suspected I have Bipolar 1 and switched me to Lamictal and Gabapentin. I thought she was an actual angel that saved my life because I felt so much better, I feel more realistic about that now :P I know this is similar to a lot of other undiagnosed people with bipolar disorder, the horror that SSRI's can be. Anywayyy, my anxiety almost disappeared for the first time in my life, but I crashed down into a deep, dark depression. First episode psychosis. Shadow people, seeing/feeling bugs crawling on me, hearing ""the radio"" when I laid down on my pillow. My doctor prescribed me abilify about 6 weeks ago. At first it probably brought me too high up, I told my best friend that washing dishes felt ""orgasmic"". And then about 6 weeks in all of that disappeared and became unbearable anxiety. The kind that grips your heart and puts bricks in your stomach. I was desperate for relief so I did all of the irresponsible things we do to try to feel better. I even started smoking cigarettes again even though that's a habit I kicked a while ago. I was in danger of losing my new job because I was FREAKING OUT all the time. So I just stopped taking it. The terrible feeling is gone. Looking back, the only thing I can compare it to is that it felt just like I remember feeling on Lexapro without the excessive crying. I don't understand why that would be. I thought they were totally different types of medications. I'm still pretty new at this, but does anyone have any idea why Abilify would have knocked me off balance the same way an SSRI did? I don't even know if that question makes sense or if it's dumb. Thanks for reading if you did. ♥️ Also I have a doctor through a stupid clinic where I can't contact her without going in, and can't do that until I get my first paycheck. I will talk to her ASAP. I'm just looking for your personal opinions/stories.",5.1021941362333765,6.392736280182238,5.76479388639871,78.95468440002941,68.8861047835991,9.035814534499227,32.61231537952825,9.370254747372089,3.0362984936439124,1813,81,333,37,31,589,223,439,0.149,0.733,0.11800000000000001,-0.8263,2,0,1,0,0,0,52.0,1,4,1,10,24,20,3,0,24,1,32,18,3,2,4,58,64,25,0,5,13,0,9,3,1,3,14,1,1,1,24,11,1,1,19,2,0,7,8,10,0,6,22,14,56,10,49,37,10,59,1,3,3,1,20,22,1,7,28,238,80,7,0.0,0.0,0.0727064591344164,0.0,0.0,0.07280575076744386,0.13208896761735356,0.0,0.07460633041946965,0.0,0.0,0.11916377846828435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013323649729766,0.0,0.1709891313250228,0.0,0.0,0.05209586235107702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05729000343732401,0.0,0.09083552098791063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818875214405742,0.13178782784430004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184061165677545,0.0,0.0,0.06417133559539089,0.0,0.0,0.0778422170996744,0.08538956839506336,0.30503746846924984,0.06520012047044976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14763021266004506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260328151267646,0.0,0.21461041589946428,0.0,0.0,0.3802451977612114,0.0,0.0,0.0575626367635857,0.0,0.03892596228162088,0.0,0.04234309868085459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919568674972799,0.0839729270792442,0.08828918033771728,0.0,0.07871897672748533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16821490809065728,0.0,0.0,0.07393504831881256,0.0,0.0,0.077585840890597,0.12283855038957915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10525064255316102,0.036399543120070786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18769714947653707,0.08335241179239168,0.0,0.06334177121807835,0.0,0.07049874914799847,0.049732889449468826,0.07553671530171581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501125726843188,0.07508385352651965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05476999369137061,0.0,0.0,0.1439154330328707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05666466437126495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330523595608583,0.06505518444721982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579871053179478,0.08032935220992618,0.0,0.0,0.07489843987570985,0.08346302620048952,0.0,0.07452549689241812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440002025761383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05273525937095306,0.0,0.05950005652648267,0.06228979592949871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05601873938412241,0.05988456581249204,0.0,0.06859450207581923,0.0,0.0,0.09899606751896918,0.0,0.07320111304939783,0.11829782683559364,0.13033397944258754,0.0,0.0,0.14238608030593666,0.0,0.0505842315963924,0.0,0.0,0.07756268098480433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17741660021889236,0.11952737079279105,0.0,0.0,0.06906719169531532,0.20168842798468767,0.0,0.0,0.14364096782559366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585290420362548,0.0,0.0,0.047978992787480336
bipolarreddit,mjdossantos,2019/07/11,"My Realiity The black dog's been on my heals all day.  I'm really tired, my focus is shot and I don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone.   

I read lots of posts on here from younger people that are suffering from depression and I try to say something nice and positive because I know that feeling of desperation they are experiencing.  I'm over 52 now and I didn't even get diagnosed until I was in my late forties.  I wont sugar coat this but living with bp is not easy for me or anyone else that's in my life. Add ADHD too the mix as well and yes, I'm a disaster.

Anyway, even though i know it won't last, it feels like it will never end today.",2.0444664031620583,3.31502805797102,4.266495388669302,86.8187549407115,76.3913043478261,7.6268774703557325,21.96574440052701,8.296473431620573,1.0287594202898545,504,13,113,9,11,175,96,138,0.131,0.763,0.106,-0.5372,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,8,5,0,0,3,1,11,5,0,0,2,19,21,11,0,1,4,0,2,1,0,3,4,1,0,0,7,7,1,0,4,1,0,0,6,2,1,0,3,7,15,3,16,15,2,14,0,2,2,0,3,5,0,3,9,72,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173131064688693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3793051918828096,0.18527367935492248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11022751508204984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661533910361473,0.0,0.15574186805440668,0.1835306939101534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15105371849601945,0.0,0.16015476969439024,0.0,0.0,0.2388626727454945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18285824214618712,0.129179392714714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09447211944877212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987502688884092,0.14739420066574796,0.20397528119303746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772004457340042,0.0883405774439565,0.0,0.1596692868698861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15372854069265976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13946120304153686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535932342942901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17317765276577166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808711007183982,0.0,0.1158393108267834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14379704540299942,0.0,0.0,0.14409185650945852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392057388455779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145338008952621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17765686165325606,0.0,0.0,0.2078284817233056,0.17139827197176113,0.0,0.0,0.12276638237033573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10665359943364848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16258084460628694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thetrumanshow94,2019/07/11,"Is it the Lithium or the Bipolar? Laying on my couch, the walls began to warp, closing in or expand. My couch felt like I was on a slow porch swing. The doors looked like they were melting 
All of this happened in a subtle way. 
Been on lithium since last month.

My friend said she knew I was hypomanic because of the way I part my hair. I didn't realize it, because I was actually sleeping more at night. But then I remembered wanting to cry leaving the store at 1am because I didn't have money to buy things.
I feel dissociated really badly, it's making me want to quit my meds. I'm also confused alot. Uncomfortable in my skin like I want to crawl out. Irritable. 

Lithium or bipolar? 
My levels were fine last week, saw doc this past monday",2.0857142857142823,4.4194968911564665,3.804789115646261,85.23902040816328,80.08843537414965,6.096870748299319,24.765986394557824,7.3011,1.2217912925170071,581,22,114,8,15,194,95,147,0.096,0.785,0.11800000000000001,-0.1162,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,1,1,7,0,1,9,0,10,5,3,1,1,18,23,6,0,3,4,0,4,3,1,0,2,1,4,0,6,2,0,0,5,0,3,0,2,2,0,0,13,7,19,5,16,10,4,24,0,0,2,0,4,12,0,5,13,69,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.1686996264450092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13824689823094052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14434217531002885,0.31614629513730297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898934534688904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741005024441946,0.0,0.16598569748580425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13356165923654434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15287149027032154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2818299975918853,0.0,0.18304810564429025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25337182144047904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451702245736062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153944226144396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19202351854254854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13798600108610987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622300956610422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872051848913267,0.16502734393743526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838722769124612,0.0,0.0,0.11074720899431106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958320080350444,0.0,0.16444231318012084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14300276914610344,0.0,0.17299837562846265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114849490738503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058958582066122,0.2744379205405234,0.13866871693902225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,to2ro95,2019/07/11,"What do you take for sleep? I'm currently on wellbutrin again (was off it for a bit cause we thought I was allergic to it, but that's not the case), but my sleep has been so weird. I literally fell asleep around 0500 and woke up at like 1000 feeling gross and lethargic. It's like that most nights unless I get a week or so when my sleep goes from less than five hours to more than ten (which I believe signals that I'm going into a depressive episode, but I can't quite tell yet because my mood tracking has been a bit inconsistent as of late).

I can't take melatonin for more than one night or else I get irritable and depressed after a bit, and currently even I'm realizing I'm taking too much of an edible to try to sleep. My mom even gave me some of her Ambien for some nights, when I'm desperate, but it's not like I can get that prescribed for myself and I don't want to be taking ambien every single night (I'll ask when I can get an appt with the doc, but so far my search has come up empty).

What other alternatives do you guys have to help you sleep at night? 

Note: yesterday I was at the beach and moved around more than I usually do, I ate regularly, and tried to stay off my phone for three hours until finally i ended up scrolling through Reddit to distract me from my running thoughts and other things the night brings. 

So I know it's not just exercising and eating that I need to change for my sleep regimen.",6.401347031963468,5.272427582191781,6.751999999999999,81.32633333333334,65.986301369863,10.389406392694065,30.768036529680373,9.558583805096642,2.3610252968036534,1122,33,245,19,15,365,153,292,0.107,0.841,0.052000000000000005,-0.9414,2,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,3,0,1,15,9,0,1,11,0,18,11,7,1,0,38,44,26,0,2,12,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,16,15,2,0,5,2,0,6,6,5,0,4,10,1,32,3,43,33,12,43,0,2,0,0,12,13,0,5,26,165,48,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15417913649212836,0.08095637779156607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05278864431548673,0.0,0.0,0.09756501101012792,0.0,0.0,0.28362404013069376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895883316823304,0.09160799940296577,0.07459553022057673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14917150353310224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861021044042322,0.07234056770927384,0.0,0.07669911787934901,0.0,0.0,0.11439282344723548,0.0,0.07296159251373982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043785976203967535,0.0,0.0,0.09486263130278398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18097314840488607,0.0,0.04921499323544756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574450974890832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05804405231827616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17056093416271484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04759137155613029,0.0,0.097685034086413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126920560202481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014212000888756,0.0,0.09203876146157627,0.06365865874254219,0.0642104771285295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4875917417952938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05868027595088043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09210642390601254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5199564171908144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230073456714756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604402573961309,0.0,0.07568947573775049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057531108315944914,0.0,0.0,0.13749647354255431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758717209623548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09537421099316988,0.0,0.05107707382569951,0.0,0.06946278057441545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,snailsareprettycool,2019/07/11,"Just got out of the hospital, feeling good. I had been having a really hard time with things and last week it suddenly all became unbearable. I went to the ER and was luckily transferred to a psych hospital that has been extremely helpful in the past.

I befinited greatly from my stay and can now actually function well and handle things. So strange being back in public again though! Haha.

I hope everyone is having a good day so far, and if not, try your best to reach out to someone that can help you. You got this!

Thanks for reading.",3.2950000000000017,5.797861441176478,4.352705882352943,82.02317647058824,76.74509803921569,8.00156862745098,26.86666666666667,8.841846274778883,2.3885772549019606,425,17,78,10,10,138,76,102,0.061,0.6890000000000001,0.25,0.9652,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,0,1,8,8,0,0,6,1,11,0,0,0,1,14,17,9,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,7,2,8,8,12,9,2,16,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,2,9,60,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.19162076351007293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15099008163578953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060695646867496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266370980479139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18763208761816108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09928641170850094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3293978753157457,0.3140968934009874,0.216489546355614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759015779292794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26323431268753755,0.0,0.0,0.19503154551402727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16006105187258032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18744952974533552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964149098375337,0.0,0.12579437898765616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16637669181919312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20929552171091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807835372103803,0.0,0.0,0.2609080715567413,0.0,0.192924443568082,0.0,0.1145001280923459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13331675335957574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575095687806944,0.0,0.17655281472727655,0.18202932949444234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Skimily,2019/07/11,"New phone , who dis Stop being haunted and just hmu. DM for phone number.",0.91,3.4918457142857164,1.4685714285714295,97.00142857142859,91.85714285714286,2.8000000000000003,14.142857142857142,3.1291,-1.347457142857143,56,1,11,0,2,17,13,14,0.301,0.625,0.07400000000000001,-0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7560714755749047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6544890555402634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Paczkl,2019/07/11,"I feel very neglected right now: a really long vent Folks, get ready, this is a very long vent.

A short background: I'm a 25 F and have two sisters (32F and 14F).

I struggle with mental illness since childhood, with little to none self worth, zero friends until college and suicide thoughts throughout my entire life. I've always new something wasn't quite right with me as no one could feel that bad and be so miserable as I was and keep up with their lives the way everybody did.

Parents were never around, they lived a shitty marriage since the beginning and had their jobs to escape the reality they lived. So they were always working and I got raised alone, with the company only of our maids.

My older sister wasn't around either. Mom forced her to work since the age 12 and we didn't got along at the time, so I had no one.

Even though I had gone through at least three major depressive episodes until that time it was only at the age of 16 yo that I finally convinced my parents (my mom) to take men to a psychiatrist, but at the time I wasn't depressed and the motivation was, well, not what it should've been. I always had good grades with no effort, but at that time I decided to push myself into being a good student and I just couldn't study or pay attention to classes for more than five min. So we went to the doctor and I got diagnosed with ADHD.

I went on with different medications for ADHD for years and depression came back, and back, and back. I didn't valued it so I never really mentioned it to my doctors as it never got in the way of my studies in college due to the prescribed anfetamines I was on at the time. Until it did.

It was around August 2014, I was at my second year of college and I just couldn't do it anymore. I moved to another place and it was a poor choice. I was motivated to do it due the financial strugle my family was facing and it was actually good for me, as I've found a really friendly place and felt comfortable there, I felt like I belonged for the first time. Yeah... Maybe I belonged way too much. 

My friends became friends with my roomate and so I did with hers, so the house was always full with visits and we were always drinking but mostly smoking weed. Guys... The damaged I did to myself... I was smoking every single day, all day long.

So weed opened the door and depression came back, slowly. I was losing the will to keep up with my obligations, started skipping classes more than I was used to, missed tests and, at the end of the semester, I had a breakdown. I decided to abandon the classes I was taking fearing I was going to fail them anyway as I wasn't prepared for my finals. So I did.

At this point at was enraged thinking of how I could get to that point and my doctor not notice I was going downhill. Of course it was my fault. I wasn't sharing everything I should. I never shared. I never had anyone to share. But after the rage passed I realized I did not let anyone help me and never made that mistake again.

I decided to change doctors and that was a whole different journey. I couldn't get along with any of those available were I live and mom sugested I made an appointment with one of those available at my hometown. He was awesome. I connected a lot with him, felt free to tell him things I had never told to anyone, told about my drug abuse (not just weed), about my eating disorders, about my high-risk sexual behavior... Guys, I told it all. He explained to me how me thinks I was bipolar and how often it is misdiagnosed for ADHD, so it all came to place.

Mom wasn't happy with that of course, so she asked me for a second opinion. This other doctor agreed. And so I started my BP treatment.

I was still really depressed when the next semester at school started so after one month I decided to quit and go home. I had an exchange program coming in August, so I was already going to be one year late at school, so it didn't felt like much losing another six months.

I stayed home still very depressed, but doing my visits to the doctor and taking my pills as prescribed. After a few months things started to get better and I flew off to europe one month before my exchange program would begin. I met a few other people that was doing the same and we made a one month trip before going to our destine country where er would live and study for a year.

Of course I was having the time of my life as we were visiting many many cities and countries, partying, sightseeing and all. So I slowly started skipping meds until I was off them all. School started in October and it was fine at the beginning but then it got harder and harder to get off my bed, to eat, to shower, to attend classes. I got desperate, cried as I never had done and, of course, suicide thought returned with full power.

I texted my doctor, he calmed me down and told me to find help where I was, but motivated me to not give up and stay there. So I did. Found a doctor and I was fully convinced I was depressed again and then he hit me: I wasn't. I was hypomanic. It was the first time I heard that. I got confused, didn't know what to think or what to do. He got me back on my meds, I shared my strugle with my classmates (we were separated into groups of 5 that would be togheter for every class and activities, so I felt it would be best to tell them all instead of making excuses). 

It all went kinda well, I wasn't having the time of my life anymore but it was okay. I was okay. I finished my exchange program and came back.

Back at home I was decided that my major breakdowns were always anticipated by academic events. Somehow college was always the trigger to my anxiety that would always leads me to depression. So I gave my doctor an action plan: restart me on my ADHD meds, as they would help me with my performance at school and also something for my anxiety so it wouldn't escalate. Damn, I wish he didn't fell for that.

Riding the high of my anfetamines I felt on fire. I was awesome. I got my grades going, I got my friends going, I even landed myself a girlfriend. BUT, of course, I got my drugs going again, and the partying, and the drinking. So the high didn't lasted long.

We are at 2017 at this point and around April I realised I was slowly spiraling down. I told my parents about it, only to hear they didnt had the money to pay for a doctor. Okay. I waited. And waited. And waited a little more. June: as soon as we have some money we'll give it to you, but we can't afford it right now. Okay. What could I do? I had no insurance anymore so I couldn't get any help.

Classes returned in August, and I wasn't on my best game, but I was doing what I could. Until I started skipping some classes, and taking the week off when there was a Holliday or class-free days during that week. Fuck. It was end of september/early August when it all came down to me: I spent one entire month inside my room, only showering and brushing my teeth minutes before my gf came to visit and barely having one meal a day. I lost 20 pounds and was living the worst nightmare I ever had. And even at that point they wouldn't give me money to see a doctor.

As a medical student, things get a lot easier when it comes to getring prescribed medication if you have that one reckless teacher that just goes with the flow. I talked to a friend we came up with a med combination to get me going until I could see my doctor, he fixed me up the prescriptions during his internship and that got me out of my catatonic state. It was too late for school though.

It was only at the end of november when I convinced my parents I could no longer wait and I went to see my doctor. He kept the meds I was on, as I was doing pretty well with them and just adjusted the doses.

Months go by and every time I have to practically bag my dad for money for my meds. I almost feel like I'm asking for luxuries and not something that is essential for my well being. Money for appointment? Damn, that's even worse.

So I went back to my doctor again only around June/2018. He always lectures me about how I'm not supposed to just stop taking my meds, but the struggle I face to get to buy them is exhausting. Sometimes I really just give up as I can already see my dad's reaction when I ask for it.
And that, guys, was the last time I visited my doctor.

[Also, at this point mom is not on the picture anymore. She went for a trip early/2018 and never came back. She calls and all, but it really doesn't make a difference as any of them never were a big part pf my life anyway.]

Around the same time mid/2018 my little sister (14F) starts struggling with depression and eating disorders. Lucky her, an acquaintance of mine, that graduated at my uni started working on my hometown and lived with my parents for a while, around 6 months and got really attached to her. So she got her the help she needed. She prescribed her meds and even paid for her therapy.

Sister was cutting herself and was shutting herself down and we convinced my dad that she sould see a psychiatrist. And that was the exact time I was supposed to get back to mine. He had asked me to return in six months (December 2018) and that was when we talked to dad and made him realize how serious things were.

A few weeks before that I had reminded my dad that I was supposed to come back to my doctor as I was already out of my medication again and was definitely not doing well. I was during vacation and had not left my room for a single day. As soon as I have the money for it, he says.

Mid january/2019 dad texts me asking me for my doctors number and the price of the appointment. A sparkle of hope appears inside the emptyness I was at that point until he texts me back just to let me know he set an appointment... For my sister.

I mean, I understand he was really worried about her, he was living alone with her, she wasn't talking to him, mom left and all... It was all cool. But he didn't at any point showed any concern about me. All I wanted was for him to say: hey, look, I'm setting this appointment to her but I did not forget you and as soon as I can I will give you money to see him too. Hmm... That never happened.

My friends from my class graduated last year, so they've been helping me with prescriptions since I can't see my doctor. And I've been begging my father for it.

Two months ago, sister attempted suicide. I feel really bad for her as I know how that feels and had been through this pain many many times. But the shadow she's already been casting on my own pain got so worse, I feel invisible.

So after that we decided she should come live with me and my older sister (32f), and she has been a nightmare. She misses her therapy appointments (something I was NEVER allowed to have due to, again, money issues), misses her doctors appointments, stopped taking her meds, drinks every fucking weekend, etc, etc. We talk to her but she refuses to listen and just replies that it ain't that simple.

I got through this school semester by cheating every single test. I'm not proud, but I just could not do it any differently, I had no energy to live, I was struggling to attend to my shifts at the hospital, I just couldn't do any more than that. I was cryied for help so many times. Reminded him how I needed to be care of too so many times.

Last month dad gave her a funking lot of money to buy clothes. Money enough to pay up to four appointments with my doctor or one entire year of medication for me. One fucking week later she asks him to buy her some pants she saw online as it would make her sooooo happy. So he did.
And here I am, unmedicated and one year without seeing a doctor.

We are now trying to find a new apartment to rent, so sister (14F) could have her down bedroom. She's sharing with 32yo sister and it's fucking mad abouy it. I share mine with my gf and we live in a two bedroom apartment.
Last week gf was having doubts about continue living with us, as there are a lot of thing that she's not happy about, so I talked to my dad about and brilliant solution was for me and my 32 yo sister share a room so 14 yo sister could have her own. Seriously??? I took the opportunity to remind him that she's not the only one that needs to be care of and is facing mental issues. He dodged as usual.

About three months ago he got a health insurance for me and my 32yo sister (grandma pays for a different one for 14yo sister) and it was only available to be used now. Yesterday I texted him checking if I could find a doctor and set an appointment and his reply? Would you please check if it could attend your sister (14F) as well? Damn, I understand that would be a lot easier for him as he would not have to worry about it and we would do it all but JESUS F* CHRIST, I just feel do neglected as he does not seems to care about my state at all.

Also I can't help but to resent him for all of this and my sister as I've told her how I've never had the help she's getting, specially at her age and she doesn't value all the effort hes putting ate her care.

Anyway, sorry for venting. It's too long and I don't expect anyone to go through this all, but I needed to put this out there.


TL;DR: it's been around 10 years that I'm requiring psychiatry care and my family never put an effort for it, denying me money for it. repeatedly in many many occasions but now that my 14 yo sister is struggling too she's getting all the best care available and I feel even more neglected.",3.6951608077786062,5.006489986163054,4.756012789827974,84.77776338818252,72.28721017202695,7.5319940164547505,25.63626776364996,8.010072556775954,1.4435118683620047,10469,328,2097,146,200,3429,677,2674,0.10800000000000001,0.794,0.099,-0.9711,17,3,9,0,2,4,316.0,21,6,14,29,148,110,13,9,114,6,224,58,4,23,34,411,414,220,3,43,60,36,15,3,11,18,42,5,14,5,115,176,8,15,45,6,30,55,71,53,7,29,194,32,376,58,335,173,60,349,2,22,10,4,237,109,7,27,178,1544,491,67,0.0,0.02051114915551541,0.01689340526330624,0.0,0.08321963682192929,0.0,0.0306909796920012,0.0,0.01733484191073239,0.035858728299588485,0.07641413322541367,0.04153170212807117,0.1296400605917208,0.0,0.0,0.08240630266625107,0.0363049731749726,0.026486309703277863,0.0,0.06867293104566173,0.04841806495409804,0.0,0.0,0.1232863551480516,0.0971027952062154,0.0,0.0,0.15973655003283618,0.028908550842516124,0.0,0.0,0.058922821929488715,0.0,0.05450166158799432,0.015310504809680178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.017676849883223884,0.1583968138819391,0.10590060620941652,0.0,0.018313139841351283,0.059648868455692575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15203897141155384,0.0,0.019015733074811768,0.05582202522066455,0.0,0.13419236093546316,0.017570681700999454,0.0,0.0904335141412895,0.0396806721529306,0.3898163794772964,0.015149301333563538,0.017715547487541415,0.0,0.05087567235494505,0.040151399095705434,0.053141576687936086,0.0,0.0,0.04599822113528214,0.017887278483416466,0.038613519410171576,0.06860400138489686,0.015659130208046317,0.07292790233712651,0.0,0.015558348028980363,0.0,0.032639248241311564,0.019480110253214947,0.07002521269227739,0.012367250095124708,0.09972981142744664,0.03792753130924042,0.047466850674170565,0.029450094263429174,0.0,0.03796205934343482,0.09362308022066827,0.06401635068287684,0.10853375019215857,0.08303324390479741,0.10822298982778608,0.043559881236109314,0.2353733025965129,0.0,0.0,0.05142295021920425,0.015308392156896328,0.05528484327630175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01840118260876364,0.01951117830773622,0.0,0.10443105062787776,0.054871255935252584,0.05209416324067185,0.017194101918523167,0.0,0.019975003023232504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03613715670937715,0.017178868965447864,0.03077429185573077,0.0,0.0,0.02854163768107262,0.07055540763494668,0.039055971122402486,0.0,0.03761772020226889,0.035404108600383365,0.048910145812128505,0.02537239087065393,0.05205163824896972,0.18343514039497447,0.0766001126710215,0.014537195413924169,0.03873400214634621,0.0188974112928795,0.07358756182200743,0.0,0.06552176816706222,0.03466643265484178,0.14040814079439365,0.017391603467160642,0.018857162891030614,0.1730613201976724,0.08719694768746172,0.03489158959066405,0.0,0.0,0.1216492423506708,0.16581329688507784,0.018399252472006845,0.025451705686464158,0.05134466223903061,0.18692239965448268,0.033438868606897265,0.01841084420618399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.019709115712225184,0.0,0.0,0.17595954061126984,0.1053286490063582,0.036841048086737285,0.0,0.09611116898430742,0.018746532653362118,0.0,0.012001528045817977,0.0,0.054260108484773695,0.019002691758157185,0.11455391745490855,0.0,0.0,0.017611892405354542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052208141345621004,0.0,0.03682555742447489,0.0,0.0,0.09981099368573544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04435146019225823,0.0,0.027533401203802575,0.0,0.10512021711843662,0.11035939950941218,0.01575962605858018,0.01805954008646799,0.0,0.0,0.057280594720169775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05330857037799909,0.01712139299108113,0.01937866753607626,0.1102777259328304,0.03690324579957798,0.02764977362556496,0.028946170090892342,0.0,0.09048804172193588,0.0,0.0568075050444813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07809599955948482,0.06957113929982903,0.030261810382011582,0.0,0.03959413310377198,0.0,0.057504543199516575,0.03327729119643695,0.03401667701028799,0.027486596848396355,0.16151043602017962,0.0,0.0,0.0992505667487487,0.019233575115871336,0.011753287595961214,0.0,0.050732095180416735,0.03604350476654124,0.02082345319760809,0.029902940383265214,0.019066034348086826,0.042851093271281886,0.010210697774792535,0.04122289221092039,0.0694307059819487,0.0,0.09339003336374413,0.09628691097859664,0.0,0.019327532487990445,0.019907227448681283,0.01668754819571894,0.0,0.03780866256010302,0.03516108420897605,0.035283541113309204,0.13527254891303306,0.0,0.0,0.08918366581826621
bipolarreddit,johannesa94,2019/07/11,"How secret do you keep your diagnoses? I tend to throw my diagnoses around me. All my friends (who matter, anyways, and probably other people too) know I'm bipolar, and I tend to be very careless with who I tell and how. The only thing I'm careful about is what I tell employers and people I work with. To me, it's vital that people know, so that when I drop off the face of the earth, or when I'm acting weird, they know what's going on. Either so they can help me, or just so they don't think I'm simply becoming a distant asshole who don't want to hang out anymore. Depending on the type of work, I try to keep as honest as possible with employers as well, but for obvious reasons, I'm more closed there. But I've heard people who hold it as a rule to never tell anyone but their partners and absolute closest about their diagnoses, and I'm curious as to why. Obviously, I live in a place where mental illness is relatively well known, even though I still get annoying and straight up rude questions. The stigma isn't as severe as in other parts of the world, I guess, but if my friends didn't accept me, I don't think I'd want them as friends. The amount of acquaintances who've treated me like some science experiment is pretty frustrating, but at least I know who to avoid. How do you decide who to share things with?",8.103784461152884,5.897532022556393,8.226428571428574,75.56440476190478,63.360902255639104,11.5734335839599,35.700501253132835,10.125756701596842,3.302131328320802,1042,36,211,18,12,342,142,266,0.10099999999999999,0.75,0.149,0.9103,2,1,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,3,6,2,21,18,3,1,10,0,12,6,1,5,4,53,35,32,0,3,10,0,0,1,4,0,5,1,0,1,16,14,0,4,12,0,0,4,6,6,2,0,2,1,29,12,37,32,7,24,0,0,0,0,27,15,0,7,5,144,45,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11718756218255515,0.08262345746964883,0.0,0.0,0.10519157395922434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13050355123162066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12047671657880772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35980383940041577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804662434770293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11558768314687193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27388110240459296,0.0,0.06173614263963071,0.0,0.06715568291036084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13017166306043812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920326136529843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21006030676451667,0.0,0.0,0.2597607637333316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05772926998747805,0.0,0.10434153406193664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908215544449062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09113584805658474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986952658850353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796078032914873,0.0,0.3276819073226547,0.0,0.12345688935016072,0.0,0.0,0.13321286690645098,0.0,0.1202159106931166,0.12740145793448152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13237142998213114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214929209741032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334923988210505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943664269674175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3098432874700524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15700666051354722,0.1514302485504413,0.11609615001685142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08022602792854988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974981957879904,0.13939312182439534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21248838856691535,0.0,0.10662520015769013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172050517424603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,The_big_doge,2019/07/11,"I think people don't quite believe that I have bp We have a group chat in an app called line, we talk about video games and strategies in them and what not, we also love joking around and posting memes, they're also all strangers that I've never seen.

I once opened up about having BP and another guy in there also has it, he's the only one that believes me, the others just kinda laughed it off, and I didn't wanna double down on it as to not make myself look narcissistic. 

Am I over thinking or what lol?",3.1400961538461547,4.481525894230772,3.8896153846153863,90.33038461538463,73.71153846153847,5.9692307692307685,21.653846153846153,5.985473137389443,0.1519653846153841,399,9,84,2,8,127,78,104,0.034,0.892,0.07400000000000001,0.4659,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,3,0,1,1,8,3,0,0,4,1,7,1,0,1,2,21,13,10,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,9,10,0,0,2,4,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,2,11,3,14,11,2,12,0,0,2,1,12,10,0,2,1,62,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4867056735597852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21272709180334767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18059748772765408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4571304854713492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071531550115462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20087339181436895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17035987265308788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18309827481165672,0.0,0.13541743287381205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15646600370604224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160501405346364,0.13747009688869982,0.154291927711327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14064465196427456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942935717497186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21577742799011546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16305938104260165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599820634377509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nabihhey-,2019/07/11,"Question about Mania Am I the only one who doesn't experience mania that much in my life? I only experience it about once or twice a year for a week or so and then I either get back to ""normal"" or plunge into depression. Anyone else kinda like this? I don't seem to rapid cycle :P",1.2688505747126442,3.441326,3.845517241379312,84.70954022988506,82.10344827586206,5.935632183908046,16.563218390804597,7.1686216300943375,0.15592183908045998,220,4,44,3,6,77,46,58,0.066,0.833,0.10099999999999999,0.25,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,10,5,6,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,5,1,7,5,2,6,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,6,5,33,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16980190806099127,0.2488219903749641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867317567549057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20916085721910135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20286468655765105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4750953239616722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12687577036322453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17152763313267838,0.11864112801673525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17851800533811332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379351906068201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586205336431053,0.1645571242367476,0.3693870374977117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27204043587723875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210757144145753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19479450680126734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15638333169832386
bipolarreddit,psych_hospital,2019/07/11,"I was strip-searched at a psych hospital. Is this legal? Hello. I am a 17 year old girl who lives in the Pacific Northwest. I'm worried I may be possibly doxxing myself by posting this, but considering the subject matter, it's worth it.


In October of 2016 I went to a psych haspital because I had recently been diagnosed with bipolar, and I needed to see a psychiatrist. Unfortunately, I needed to see one urgently, but I wouldn't have been able to see one for another month unless if I went to a psych hospital.


Upon arriving at the hospital I was forced to strip completely naked. They said it was a skin check, and that it is required of them to do this. I was forced to completely undress in front of a couple women. When I started crying, they said if I didn't undress, they would restrain me and do it themselves.


The hospital has cameras all over the building, even in the area in which they do their strip searches. This means that they recorded me undressing and being naked. For all I know, they could be watching it and enjoying seeing me distressed and naked. 


I recently found that someone had filed a class-action lawsuit against the hospital. They filed their lawsuit because of the strip searches they also experienced, and their experiences sound identical to what I experienced.


Here is a link: 


https://www.classaction.org/news/fairfax-hospital-patient-files-class-action-lawsuit-over-unjustified-strip-cavity-searches


I'm not sure if what they did was legal or not, but since someone filed a class-action lawsuit, I want to know, is what they did legal? Am I in the wrong for being upset about it, or are they in the wrong for conducting the strip search?",7.5635714285714295,9.20577117346939,7.120551020408166,70.19409183673471,63.45578231292518,9.553469387755102,33.747619047619054,9.766711354998122,3.372295782312925,1351,56,221,27,20,423,139,294,0.14300000000000002,0.807,0.05,-0.9842,0,0,0,0,0,0,55.0,0,0,15,1,5,6,0,2,21,0,32,3,1,0,3,37,50,18,0,9,11,0,1,0,0,3,2,3,0,2,19,8,0,2,5,0,2,3,4,4,0,2,17,11,37,2,34,25,2,23,0,0,5,0,21,12,0,6,7,168,56,7,0.1295373195668685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035909476570802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13583117413281967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792949537206355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716348300304444,0.0,0.0,0.10342500912651867,0.14333058026154458,0.14229066294028053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13147765262121594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855581778783595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267123547992193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14203098479833598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14238064628075747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114383826411255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14110411617481974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339545262015803,0.0,0.0,0.1921005621948333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13592762636284572,0.0,0.17555568038138078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603386447172856,0.12406094472264205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558049511472177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24643930931158656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4128978897659713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071546093474386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195131010090343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168718151435434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220873906805665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640446727676098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24016478603471544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315514359112804,0.0,0.09201959521303828,0.2832574476745387,0.0,0.08341778675321428
bipolarreddit,n1c0lee,2019/07/11,"Mild hallucinations only? Can anyone relate to this? Whenever I’m hypomanic or mixed I quickly notice that the floors, rugs or textured wood floors in particular, seem to wiggle / warp very subtly. Walls also tend to breathe and curtains sway. It’s subtle but there and distracting. Words on pages or screens will also warp subtly. Not sure that I’ve ever experienced other visual hallucinations from bipolar. Anyone have this experience? Or have these kinds of hallucinations?

Thanks.",5.825625000000002,9.532550312500003,6.115000000000002,65.47000000000003,77.125,7.7,26.75,8.548686976883017,2.9049750000000008,395,15,53,9,10,126,62,80,0.075,0.879,0.046,-0.3298,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,1,0,4,2,1,0,2,12,8,9,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,7,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,3,7,7,1,7,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,5,2,33,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4524995625309815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3956463151226893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559159342990447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767485306907431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946160277297469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3221045290951303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151722290829055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575583300860939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666472897631105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604732963347565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334373498518813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,shewfbyy,2019/07/11,"Lamictal and birth control??? I was told that lamictal and birth control don’t usually interact, but if they do, the birth control might lessen the effectiveness of lamictal. But, as I’ve been scrolling, I’ve read a lot of posts on here about lamictal making birth control less effective. Is this true??? 

I’m on Aleess 28 and 200mg birth control. My psychiatrist didn’t know anything about the interactions lol, so I got my info from my pharmacist.",4.9903135888501735,7.344021585365857,5.527351916376302,76.29865853658539,70.95121951219512,10.051567944250873,33.66550522648084,10.290406445055957,4.014116376306621,358,18,63,11,7,115,54,82,0.0,0.853,0.147,0.9197,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,7,4,1,0,0,4,1,7,0,0,8,1,19,12,8,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,5,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,6,1,8,6,2,9,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,3,6,37,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109245858040686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8933570055038533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12740883424906602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754853765573918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543336578980647,0.0,0.0,0.1063357162117302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16899487421730205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15256784646474386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15934570011545934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15222045205413268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17544929741463589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,majidakitty,2019/07/11,"Best lithium brand in USA Hello,

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I just moved to the US from Europe. In Europe, I was taking Priadel. What would be the best equivalent here in the US?

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Thank you.",2.0567647058823546,4.9239605588235325,2.3325882352941183,90.45064705882356,90.47058823529413,3.896470588235295,21.50588235294117,5.6839178017228535,0.3340188235294121,145,5,25,1,5,44,25,34,0.0,0.727,0.273,0.8979,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,1,0,2,2,3,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,3,5,2,2,4,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3973106682589003,0.4455709606939448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3848206691221016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19486780149425306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13785338800046967,0.0,0.0,0.168800380253417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4410853702138223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13024375088218107,0.0,0.4455709606939448,0.0
bipolarreddit,ninibikini,2019/07/11,"How to deal with my urges to runaway? I want to leave my family, start over in a new city. How do I combat these desires?",-0.4305128205128206,1.5909056923076967,1.85923076923077,97.16910256410259,88.23076923076924,5.005128205128205,16.358974358974358,6.42735559955562,-0.4509333333333334,92,2,22,1,3,31,21,26,0.157,0.792,0.051,-0.3939,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,5,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,6,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,15,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.46792016119564506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4278683528454718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4805829201685233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4383505871847973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3212516048271206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26770435434072065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ibespejo,2019/09/30,My partner Saw me in a mix episode for the first time. I feel ashamed. I don't know how to manage it. I'm just avoiding her. I feel really really bad.,-1.716363636363635,0.2066646363636373,1.2870303030303027,97.59054545454543,99.6060606060606,5.0642424242424235,18.72121212121212,6.742157984588678,0.19882303030303028,115,4,28,2,5,40,28,33,0.285,0.715,0.0,-0.8615,0,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,6,6,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,3,6,0,3,5,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,16,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3840371152724365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.465126751340476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39123127641510935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527752258008881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5893085451330845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681992011355031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Greenbeanz18,2019/09/30,"Work, bipolar and quitting jobs I’m a sort of highly functional bipolar person, my manic and depressive episodes are rare...
However I have this issue where I will get a job, totally committ myself to it, work insanely hard and lots of hours then burn out, hate the job & quit impulsively often without notice.

I know it’s a dick move but I can’t seem to drag myself into work where I’m so depressed I feel like I’m dying. And it’s not like I can call off for a week straight.

I just did this with my last job & I feel so guilty...how can I stop? I’m functional enough to not qualify for disability & I like work, but I can’t seem to stick it out.

I’m ashamed to face my employer after text-quitting and not showing up. I need help and advice",1.9125529953917035,3.7564267483870992,3.7252764976958552,88.07362903225807,78.29032258064517,7.009216589861751,24.61981566820277,7.957251820313856,1.3446589861751157,586,21,125,10,14,197,90,155,0.149,0.742,0.109,-0.6394,6,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,6,6,7,1,1,5,0,8,4,2,0,2,29,21,11,1,1,7,0,3,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,6,10,0,1,5,1,0,1,6,4,0,0,1,3,17,3,17,19,3,16,0,2,0,1,3,9,1,5,9,74,23,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11479413288074007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3818487560364559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995398354477575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20236019127120655,0.0,0.12191935869380433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138193869581243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879666437316767,0.08392337572615945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0613752627995041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10523353778423457,0.1159811529189673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874027713795756,0.1241176222954578,0.0,0.0,0.11568812555711612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261222813759153,0.4662988663279566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06456058176567543,0.09575690535754884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17217543720153866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09987210660508668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485616175073623,0.0,0.08710540636510566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374481072388691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257367597058843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.374843849880312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21388764823950315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821343830221868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09423047452323442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11324064496195448,0.0,0.3420895854593624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SouthDecision,2019/09/30,"Lithium Questions for the Recently Diagnosed Hello! I am recently diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 1.  I agree with my doctor's diagnosis.... however I was reading about blood tests with Lithium. I have been taking Lithium for a month, since my diagnosis, and have not been informed of taking blood tests or anything.

What do I need to do? I used to trust my doctor, but I am beginning to think that he isn't properly walking me through the procedure. 

Here are my questions:

1. Do I have to get Blood Tests? If so, how often?
2. Is there anything I need to be aware/avoid on Lithium? I was told it was okay to have a drink after 2.5 hours of taking it.
3. Since I have been on it, I have had digestion issues.... is that common?

Thank You!",1.6196396023198003,4.217868246478872,3.4563794531897294,85.15958160729083,84.84507042253522,6.721458160729082,25.958574979287487,7.928766900206844,1.9532314830157416,569,25,108,12,17,190,81,142,0.013999999999999999,0.903,0.083,0.8479,1,1,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,0,4,1,23,10,3,2,0,17,34,6,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,6,4,2,0,4,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,8,0,18,3,18,25,0,10,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,5,7,79,24,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26312655628164844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3245389652093819,0.0,0.0,0.18323028807972075,0.327277115186594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15661636755074634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352794629014762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574444018188502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16686767826719304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12761048182604615,0.0,0.0,0.2370901686633532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.358192566660288,0.0,0.15991799140738558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3157140110339869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645000526075841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3606176942267679,0.0,0.0,0.14719116880750027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024412696259494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527671529635424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13808043270385334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thesesharpobjects,2019/09/30,Is there anyone here that wants to help me out? I have a session with my new therapist (I was switched to someone who could “better accommodate my needs”) and I really hate switching therapist because of the catch up. I wrote down anything and everything I could think of to help him understand what’s going on with me and I just want someone to look it over so I don’t feel like I’m just giving him pages of nonsense,4.326666666666668,5.579760481927714,5.017048192771085,83.73151606425706,70.68674698795179,8.424899598393575,29.49598393574297,8.841846274778883,2.2679333333333336,332,13,66,6,6,107,60,83,0.077,0.752,0.171,0.7245,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,5,3,1,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,17,18,4,0,5,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,2,13,2,14,14,1,8,0,0,1,0,7,5,0,0,2,47,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14142206324670553,0.0,0.16643941390472786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232933501285459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17887895202638132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32296983745164504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18177460673446327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10226668566391224,0.14449169142126306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19402233744311576,0.1149467176366169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996858779004772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711358004417384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881204105207436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16984405892360593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499702244902362,0.0,0.195340057290854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957034092426775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3427416209587563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4696694947201248,0.0,0.12959744631741965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105555773680416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385915997045621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,taukou,2019/09/30,What's the worst thing a Psych has said to you? Mine was that having constant (content warning) suicidal thoughts were completely normal even if it's practically all I could think about from when I woke up to when I went to bed. It got to the point where I had to have my mom pick me up cause I couldn't walk two blocks without thinking about jumping infront of a car.,4.619054054054053,5.481087121621624,4.533351351351354,88.92110810810814,69.67567567567568,7.541621621621622,29.664864864864867,7.554174236665415,1.572262702702702,293,11,62,3,5,90,58,74,0.121,0.856,0.023,-0.8374,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,0,4,0,8,0,0,2,1,12,15,3,1,4,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,5,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,2,1,0,1,8,1,9,0,12,5,2,11,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,3,46,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582827677084236,0.0,0.0,0.26361436415615475,0.2717011409296595,0.0,0.20074243067927613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166063863439273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20108756747469173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944659606059097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24634315032755275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237677924493945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391627826960728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2750181788116333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16703562036469666,0.3222060188512915,0.0,0.1996033922205297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24560572432976574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330735250562112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24236476025611836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,river_of_styxx,2019/09/30,Paranoid I'm so fucking paranoid but my quetiapine has chilled me out so I don't know if I care.,-0.6600000000000001,1.5318953809523812,2.3114285714285714,90.95857142857146,95.1904761904762,4.704761904761905,30.809523809523807,6.42735559955562,1.6577809523809532,77,5,17,1,3,27,17,21,0.325,0.675,0.0,-0.6935,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,6,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,6,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,11,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.687983297521828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6238233417336637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3708415033936147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,its_Tanaka,2019/09/30,Newly Diagnosed So I recently got diagnosed with bipolar depression/mania and I'm kinda scared. I dont know how to deal with it or tell people when they ask what's wrong when I'm going through an episode. I never thought I'd have a mental disorder and I'm really scared of the unknown or even how to deal with it. How do you guys cope,1.6025714285714299,3.7518975428571433,3.649999999999999,86.70500000000001,80.71428571428572,7.428571428571428,24.285714285714285,8.418075326091056,1.7391428571428569,268,10,55,6,7,91,49,70,0.16699999999999998,0.833,0.0,-0.8754,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,1,0,7,3,0,2,3,0,3,3,0,3,1,14,11,10,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,5,0,7,9,0,5,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,3,4,33,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18814310238720847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4149631768576614,0.0,0.4085323260897343,0.0,0.0,0.2306517978542457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358654056368159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292480025234799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143759363236632,0.0,0.16095930918515894,0.0,0.0,0.1992707494691109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106026299062693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028143030960422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15521765995644127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13952253682081978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12892694430683313,0.0,0.1987117004943019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4029759704767261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759027907600539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597713102122752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22003705891013026,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lesbocopter,2019/09/30,"Stopping yourself from slipping after identifying a trigger. Help! I have BP2, I'm medicated (Quetiapine) but I can feel myself slipping and I believe I've identified the trigger (which is one success!).. Can I stop a depressive episode if I can already feel it taking hold?",2.96125,5.9723059583333375,4.695833333333336,72.08250000000002,93.58333333333334,6.566666666666666,37.25,7.645422480735847,4.085075,218,15,31,5,8,73,36,48,0.18,0.779,0.040999999999999995,-0.7379,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,2,0,10,9,3,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,6,1,2,9,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,22,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3573523850078316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3648434013419975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27891268687843024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3274744567532917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21705516410257367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262227643632229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21943431613392445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5414696199358343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434784467582492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SayJose,2019/09/30,"Failing after breakup I got dumped over the summer and I started University, but the break up took its toll on me.

I couldn;t focus and have been deeply depressed the last few months.

I quit my job recently to try to unburden myself, but I'm still worried I'm going to fail.

I've always done well in school, but this time around I've failed all my first exams and I'm just scared I cant do this. I took on harder than usual classes because she said she'd be there for me at the end of the day and  she's not and I really am trying my best, but it's hard to focus on genetics, precalc, and Research design, when I'm working out the break up in my mind/trying to keep my self together so as not to cry.

I really am trying, but I'm scared.",2.986363636363638,3.698139286624208,4.707573827446442,86.73289519397802,73.33121019108279,7.492530399536768,24.46381007527504,7.686295010490155,1.0715910828025477,576,16,126,7,11,196,97,157,0.18100000000000002,0.7490000000000001,0.071,-0.9546,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,7,7,9,1,2,6,0,9,0,0,0,1,18,21,14,0,0,8,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,8,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,7,1,1,6,2,19,2,22,13,3,29,0,4,0,0,5,11,0,0,13,82,23,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12856535907203062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754736577326404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418834653685708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16214954683221453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16972285307952675,0.09964668043934738,0.0,0.1330799213579907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15811818832449262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13685070316859804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314268033261105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781204552187168,0.0,0.12357639762037935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841132333957967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15332812266686754,0.13733629397057498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12594692023579224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15601185691031436,0.0,0.12332904247910773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16434124963093735,0.0,0.0,0.19796714355072212,0.0,0.1525607697772708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14697514869568434,0.0,0.3093845209151888,0.15637317351452304,0.0,0.0,0.1611884567752732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10936353598948227,0.0,0.12339252050582294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009648712864107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3433343569498317,0.41961074989910585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701718116119266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389237607382621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11248569900120783,0.15691321249196655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ladytwinklet0es,2019/09/30,"Hi, guys. Does anyone have any advice on how to help control your ups and downs when in a serious relationship? We’ve been together a little other a year now. I love him with all of my heart and don’t ever want to lose him. He knows about my depression/bipolar issues. He’s very supportive and is always there for me. I wish he completely understood me but I know that’s impossible. I feel myself destroying the relationship sometimes. Some days I get so irritated for no reason that I can’t even stand to be around him..does anyone else struggle with this?",2.84242424242424,5.3583975185185215,4.409461279461278,80.93621212121214,78.44444444444444,8.001346801346802,23.707070707070702,8.841846274778883,2.0257666666666667,444,15,83,11,11,148,83,108,0.179,0.737,0.084,-0.9261,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,2,9,6,1,1,4,0,6,2,1,3,2,19,15,7,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,5,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,1,14,2,14,12,2,12,0,1,0,1,12,6,0,1,5,56,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17295465475482014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14727162538095362,0.0,0.0,0.1203607133684525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475140161898917,0.18134934659258511,0.0,0.1575605145157955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18557287418149254,0.0,0.1985117165663111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414527753076326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15488700009370476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14785420813690775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690162838719224,0.16009950878906207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949253571186956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247107950196967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175250029028829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20973651865319626,0.1186340896171288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18473379304400275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945404847763983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17739260534926207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19800891347969052,0.0,0.0,0.15974230178541754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819773810602628,0.0,0.38004660659250616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750497359200751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18503059669970706,0.0,0.0,0.20084856441292734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603703808702675,0.10439454020874432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20353220731559676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11397712468550387
bipolarreddit,Shortelle,2018/12/03,Anybody else sometimes unable to tell if people are being crappy to you or you're just being overly sensitive/irritable? Is this just me? Sometimes I can't tell if I'm just overly sensitive or in an irritable/manic episode. Then I'll either lash out or just cry and be depressed and I don't really have anyone that's objective to tell me if I'm being unreasonable or not.,3.894909909909913,5.716918581081085,6.122702702702704,73.13288288288291,72.64864864864866,8.717117117117118,27.1981981981982,9.2995712137729,2.647673873873873,301,11,52,7,6,106,47,74,0.147,0.853,0.0,-0.885,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,9,0,0,0,0,16,11,10,0,3,13,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,7,7,1,5,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,7,1,40,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18166553862511128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853896284093145,0.0,0.0,0.22377439817902256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21703832997137232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801198836702677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664412555824788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5139184447268912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6812574713216184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,zoom_to_earth,2018/12/03,"Are there ANY Bipolar books that specifically talk about mixed episodes? Desperate here... For over 4.5 years it seems all I've had is mixed episodes, depressive episodes, and *very few* euthymic periods.

I need help learning how to cope. 

I already go to therapy, and take meds that aren't working well, I need something that helps with self-care.

Mixed episodes aren't discussed much in the literature, and I'm desperate for coping strategies.

Any book suggestions welcome, even if not primarily about mixed episodes.",6.442499999999999,9.438735522727278,4.656818181818182,81.2677272727273,68.77272727272728,8.49090909090909,37.13636363636364,9.188382445141503,3.7690863636363634,418,23,69,9,8,119,64,88,0.1,0.8079999999999999,0.092,0.0736,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,7,3,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,1,1,12,11,5,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,1,1,0,1,0,3,2,9,10,3,5,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,2,2,35,7,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26154626966436234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3223496589206844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041362416358829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565427745618575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13469816303071935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3177254209800224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26326451991322525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17422951482687318,0.3514796100920479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21576487138931927,0.24725296968487054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18246176636429814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782019154339701,0.19049954443891676,0.0,0.0,0.2710414258927096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19555795283894856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21310032423857173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725459979054383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15262657655850384
bipolarreddit,-Katrina,2019/06/18,"Admitted Does anyone know if they will admit you if you don’t have the magic words. *I’m suicidal*? Because I’m not, I have no feelings of killing myself..... BUT I am literally dreaming that I get hurt. Like broken legs, car accident things like such. I’m done. Need a break. I don’t wear my seatbelt purposely hoping that if I get in an accident I get legit hurt. Like laid up in a hospital bed for a while.",-0.09636546184739103,2.236614132530121,2.6038855421686757,88.71337851405625,94.42168674698792,6.140160642570281,21.37449799196787,7.492282038375204,1.2277317269076309,315,12,65,7,12,109,57,83,0.249,0.5720000000000001,0.179,-0.8969,0,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,2,1,0,1,7,1,0,5,0,7,2,2,0,0,12,19,5,2,5,5,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,4,3,0,0,1,1,11,4,5,17,0,6,0,2,0,0,5,3,0,4,4,39,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705002992841379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14864408433915832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21338815698371305,0.24953546999217835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12329406114006812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3821928221984148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24219055642223,0.0,0.0,0.5220767371577615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269775524661826,0.0,0.1340094245483452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3573872884925753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18080607489574493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26672404527391724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16199807794896806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,raewsIcc,2019/06/18,"Does a lifestyle change indicate the end of a manic episode ? Let's say somebody is bipolar and gets into a manic episode. The last manic episode lasted for around 10 months. 

Now this person usually plays a lot of videogames, is online, spents time on social media. But as soon as the manic episode started this person didn't go online anywhere anymore. For 8 months now. But since 2 weeks this person suddenly is playing games again. Not a lot, but regularly, ever day, for a couple of minutes / hours. 

Could this lifestyle change indicate the end of the manic episode, especially wen the person didn't play games at all for 8 months ?",5.519185823754789,7.501258370689657,5.305632183908049,79.98036398467436,68.74137931034483,7.224521072796936,30.992337164750968,7.793537801064563,2.26097049808429,505,21,84,6,9,156,68,116,0.024,0.946,0.031,-0.2533,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,12,0,7,1,0,0,2,12,11,6,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,4,4,3,0,0,0,5,1,1,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,3,14,6,3,24,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,2,19,50,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488374160173132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13360156797609107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3175260320650169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982536664875686,0.1660588621346806,0.0,0.09678813313120548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13133459315758594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26584978082523464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13575447803120974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840975419426167,0.0,0.08529299636496808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477969637011746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446678048781976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15346530169139427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551825270500094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35937336988393564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5241705764049727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934834371980226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414637872987085,0.0,0.0,0.15298599864517498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622624290522444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751190458540843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652901219072606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203838160190354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,IllShxggi,2019/06/18,"Does Bipolar Disorders tend to run in families? To make it brief, my grandmother was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, my mother's older sister has Bipolar disorder and Anxiety. 

I'm almost sure my mother has it but she tends to shrug it off by distracting herself at all times but I see her emotions fluctuate constantly from euphoria to depression.

I tend to deal with a heavy amount of depression and there has only been very rare times I broke out of it with immense euphoria, productivity, positive attitude and almost feeling God-like for months. Then lead with years of depression.

But does it run in the family? Or is it caused by psychological trauma? There has been so many situations, conflicting issues and trauma pointing towards this mental disorder in my life.

I feel like I suffer from it or maybe I'm wrong and this is just depression itself.",5.818929110105579,8.355940797385625,6.5843137254901976,68.81864253393667,69.13071895424837,10.982202111613876,32.684263448969325,10.891193690592663,4.553926495726495,694,32,107,24,13,228,94,153,0.281,0.606,0.114,-0.9878,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,4,12,0,1,2,0,9,5,0,3,2,26,18,12,0,0,6,3,2,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,10,10,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,10,0,0,3,3,12,2,24,15,2,19,0,6,1,0,7,8,0,4,8,73,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482408299444385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09482324004980412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12733325009305632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133948500070362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12778947266930427,0.4270400518904428,0.1258090679628638,0.0,0.0,0.5682407165131445,0.0,0.21694314580359006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13942975664427218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23370256602021164,0.0,0.1253481067586524,0.08855161309095792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293740926447971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755123966251177,0.060556877297953164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273918367957514,0.12566826965182876,0.12452683736560614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491485648773976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989376161378278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427137907036774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11717507470475745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09877400767289747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13932768119036587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682366185674944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14455527229784956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022737041432503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552248148261706,0.0,0.07982127603982893
bipolarreddit,foxinthesnowshoes,2019/06/18,"new to bipolar and very confused Hey! I was looking for some advice. I’ve just been diagnosed and medicated for bipolar, and the medication is confusing me a lot. It’s very welcome, because it pulled me out of some pretty bad depression, but on the other hand, it’s making every positive emotion so dull. I’m so in love with my boyfriend, but since I started the medication every feeling I have for him is half of what it used to be. Will this subside? I just miss the part of myself everyone loved, that was bubbly and warm. Thanks so much!!",3.5573333333333323,5.574537495238097,4.9180952380952405,80.58190476190478,74.04761904761905,7.7142857142857135,29.76190476190476,8.515128840125781,2.4366190476190472,427,19,79,8,9,142,73,105,0.107,0.63,0.263,0.9753,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,5,11,0,2,5,0,8,9,1,2,0,18,18,9,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,6,0,1,3,4,9,5,12,13,5,6,0,3,1,2,5,3,0,5,2,59,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17136390706787985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464218165666409,0.10690041386123096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510409641199333,0.17799101359247882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19726116814880296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2955038734876199,0.1675680476892832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886694295376883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14726179612992002,0.0,0.0,0.14908840691995762,0.31654614900964506,0.0,0.11705699283368755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5299830717499879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289128950680817,0.0,0.0,0.16936787706958495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18990238427269596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17840847804626855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14506311261735327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412371262965576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614518325157417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514583998158162,0.0,0.28938772950273817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,y-brevifolia,2018/12/24,"Ringing in ears after increasing Bupropion / Wellbutrin dose - permanent or temporary? DAE notice a ringing sound in their ears after starting or increasing wellbutrin? I got my dosage increased last week and \~2 days ago noticed a constant high pitched ringing in my ears that has not gone away. I'm planning on calling my psychiatrist on the 26th if it hasn't gotten better or gone away. 

​

Has this happened to any of you, and if so, did it go away?",6.426305220883535,8.200898879518075,6.01222891566265,76.5965763052209,66.22891566265059,8.424899598393575,37.92971887550201,8.841846274778883,3.6375718875502017,369,20,59,6,6,114,59,83,0.036000000000000004,0.938,0.026000000000000002,-0.2134,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,1,2,1,1,0,0,3,0,4,4,3,0,0,8,12,8,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,0,5,7,6,1,12,7,3,23,0,0,0,0,3,9,0,5,8,38,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719287260346385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101493316554709,0.235675623826698,0.13189553018803393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5466791626672955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715367585715462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980489584384501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095956235993323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508443558566013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102286609377948,0.0,0.15512291909676687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715130887046781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20492329719335065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580985875493898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4416363621726019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13728180519995264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155578387486576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.235675623826698,0.0
bipolarreddit,miller823,2018/12/24,"First time poster trying to get through Christmas. Hi there fellow bipolar folks.  I've been following this sub for a few months and finally decided to actually join reddit so I could post.  I was diagnosed with Bipolar II in Oct 17.  I always felt there was something mixed up in my head, but it took my girlfriend leaving me, my daughter getting taken temporarily from me, and losing my job early last year for me to finally go see someone.  Since then I have gone through multiple med changes, 2 different psychiatrists and 3 different psychologists.  I've also not been able to go back to work full time.  

​

I do get to see my daughter again though, so that's awesome.  She's coming over tomorrow night and I'm so excited to see her, but I've also wanted to lock myself in a dark room over it because I have nothing for her.  She's 10, and she knows I've been struggling, and I doubt she is even expecting anything, but I still feel like a failure to her.  I haven't even been able to pay December rent yet, so soon I'm going to be an even bigger failure for getting kicked out.  That's a whole different issue that I'm making sure she's doesn't know about unless she 100% has to.  We aren't even having a fancy dinner or anything as all I have is a pizza, some mac and cheese, 10 cans of various canned veggies.  Lucky again though, mac and cheese with green beans is one of her favorite meals...even before I was struggling.

​

So here I sit on Christmas Eve chatting to the world as everyone has pulled away from me, including my limited family.  It's 25.5 hours away from when she gets here, I haven't showered in 3 days, I haven't cleaned in weeks, and leaving my bedroom seems like the hardest thing I can do.  But I have to get up and do everything I can for her so I don't ruin Christmas!

​

Ok, here I go...hopefully.",4.993333333333332,5.767790329670332,5.59368131868132,81.97215201465201,68.78021978021978,8.704029304029303,31.37545787545788,8.841846274778883,2.4786688644688635,1456,59,285,24,24,471,193,364,0.075,0.8240000000000001,0.102,0.8936,6,0,1,0,0,0,56.0,1,0,0,4,27,11,0,3,9,1,32,6,1,1,2,38,59,30,0,3,7,2,2,2,2,0,3,0,5,0,8,15,2,1,6,1,2,8,7,5,0,2,11,6,44,6,45,46,6,50,0,2,4,0,19,17,0,5,25,189,52,3,0.1655810987856187,0.0,0.08079163352705496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132415144876056,0.06888836930744979,0.2691105770327483,0.30179873816840896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13625913587660615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555688929055528,0.06366082212743908,0.0,0.05046835047575921,0.0,0.07044865972118826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758142362249806,0.07131672752567149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661015169618412,0.0,0.0,0.053393055267097735,0.0,0.0,0.08403066490632764,0.0,0.2594955091358607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27341188528841537,0.0,0.0,0.07910991785587927,0.07440680742881513,0.0,0.07804756179733442,0.0,0.0418613893506788,0.05914558502855696,0.07949191070898445,0.18138600017947765,0.0,0.07042159901995187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259527870022982,0.0,0.18820710851557204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496698875110048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153201426572207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641182390608076,0.0821568454810236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099904157274304,0.06748534766257035,0.0,0.17532647559069506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08089456104229244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262144776817204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05526333459885215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09196163658206008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06608262665742615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769332221952732,0.0,0.07943976501586536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05610101890482679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792904608966874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19792004681251474,0.07536940677163664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848519799166296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014816383503981,0.06373620970286856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06611663969000997,0.0,0.0,0.17310131596165154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07802911301681645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0550023622579784,0.0,0.1626825888557127,0.0,0.09655167026981794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919833466347827,0.05620934852332652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04883201106104902,0.0,0.06640958487395537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243269177610246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06027250598864953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30179873816840896,0.05331439941418403
bipolarreddit,paranoiaMIL,2018/12/24,"Manic brother thinks he is god. How to help? Brother (27M) is diagnosed Bipolar 1. Two weeks ago he opened a bunch of credit cards and flew to the west coast, bought a bunch of items and gave it away, took a bunch of hard drugs, refuses to sleep, spent nights taking hours long Ubers, and on Friday was finally escorted onto a plane by police (since he has no ID) to be sent home after mum bought him a ticket cos he didn't pay for his taxi and was arrested. 

He does not acknowledge that he is manic, and doesn't need help. He thinks Lithium has made him the smartest person in the world, and is fixated on a business idea to solve the world's problems. If you're not on his side, you're cast aside and deemed stupid. He even convinced the ambulance personnel he is sane and doesn't need help when a store called the hospital to try to take ""a crazy shopper"" to inpatient treatment. It's Christmas and it's frustrating and aggravating to watch him spiral further into his delusions. 

What is the best way to talk to someone like him? He has been in and out of psych wards 4-5 times this year, each time signing himself out after 24-72 hours because he has convinced the docs he's fine. BP redditors - what has worked for you? What made you listen or be less manic? How long can a manic episode last for? Its been 3-4 months at this point.

---

TLDR: Brother is manic, has been for 3-4 months with no signs of slowing down, thinks he is God, spends frivalously and is in debt . Refuses treatment and help. How to talk to him or convince him? Located in PHL. Thanks in advance.",3.42767741935484,5.104921896774197,3.9008387096774193,89.18125806451616,73.58064516129033,7.153548387096772,25.625806451612906,7.839951260653429,1.3060541935483871,1228,41,253,17,25,385,171,310,0.075,0.79,0.134,0.9549,1,0,1,0,0,0,47.0,0,2,0,3,5,11,2,0,17,0,26,4,1,6,0,42,44,20,0,4,5,4,1,1,0,0,3,1,1,1,10,19,0,2,5,1,8,4,7,3,0,1,15,3,12,8,41,27,7,45,0,0,1,0,42,22,0,3,19,139,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11746472710955272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450027043232464,0.0,0.0,0.08077865908989944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390641565197839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353105289259035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13449784606743093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596296794078595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15367294186027494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752354798458409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14516145003804035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11870556723123495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35528252526377346,0.0,0.132921284591877,0.0,0.2609971090078313,0.0,0.0,0.1495909812231102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801573344499336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06473912964325093,0.0,0.0,0.2345395662637013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507738982175677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21154113103376693,0.0,0.0,0.1965133338513713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243544187588884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570518910090027,0.0,0.0,0.12526756151815818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267969885825611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096160744134086,0.0,0.13260864058453153,0.0,0.11227778516230276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19926648087186946,0.2130177654689845,0.0,0.12200011269515268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25472682648532996,0.0,0.0,0.1545387234526744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14722675359338427,0.08996758878045796,0.0,0.12944588878919855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518260485255372,0.10629388847197672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647099950472078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533398960462693
bipolarreddit,violeddit,2018/12/24,"It’s Christmas Eve I went from wearing a flower crown, a pretty outfit, my favorite lipstick, and dangling earrings, prepared to eat and have fun with my relatives, to crying my swollen eyes out alone in my room for no acceptable reason in just a matter of minutes. I don’t know why I’m like this every holidays, but it suck and I hate it. I hate being like this. Does anyone else feel this way during the holidays?",4.3925925925925915,5.81731264197531,5.262654320987657,81.37694444444449,70.72839506172839,7.375308641975309,29.549382716049386,7.793537801064563,2.037508641975308,328,13,59,4,6,107,61,81,0.20199999999999999,0.581,0.218,-0.5423,1,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,1,7,3,0,4,0,3,4,2,1,0,12,10,4,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,6,5,1,0,4,2,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,2,8,4,9,8,0,7,0,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,3,36,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523410195817335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17036108718936233,0.2496413926142337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.267630766607368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21321392730518035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24930796079511386,0.2035327455912741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052800208413278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319339255123417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4810947100403024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13390000695324786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380636564701432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478728664999508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25050593060164106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19339274134699164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22585981564209115,0.2198502165964207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Geneticunderachiever,2018/12/24,"F this Got laid off. Cut my medication in half to stretch it out. I could definitely feel the difference, but it was just enough to keep me from crashing. Then I ran out, and crashed. Extremely suicidal thoughts. Major panic attacks. Went to the county mental health facility and waited all day. At the end of the day they said they called me, which they didn't. Told me too bad come back next week. Scrapped, begged, and borrowed enough money to make an appointment with my pdoc. His response is that he wants to see me one more time before giving me a refill. Then he closed his office till after the holiday.

Knowing that all I need is a chemical to make me not want to kill myself, but it is illegal for me to buy it unless I get permission, and I just haven't paid the right people enough money to get their permission.

I am really trying to avoid a hospital stay. I have a really good stable job lined up next week. If I can just make it a little over a week I will have the money to find a better doctor. If I go to the hospital instead of starting the job, then when I get out I'll be homeless and unemployed.",3.2796396396396403,4.948829936936941,4.528108108108106,84.56531531531532,73.95495495495494,7.996396396396396,24.495495495495497,8.680891452615391,1.6538900900900897,874,27,176,17,18,288,135,222,0.127,0.767,0.105,-0.7475,7,1,0,0,0,1,25.0,0,0,4,1,7,8,3,2,17,0,13,3,0,3,2,36,38,15,2,6,9,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,9,11,0,3,4,1,6,4,3,6,0,2,9,3,27,2,28,26,7,34,0,0,1,0,12,12,0,2,17,122,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025536890069934,0.0,0.09479915216477254,0.10293847374139728,0.0,0.0,0.10490711538949253,0.0,0.0,0.10903625061695588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258885620000513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061997800007319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843366069391286,0.0,0.0,0.15901825335133554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12880739642036196,0.0,0.1261882163308356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919460483692893,0.3821614905224973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06233699293011988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268096622640784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19323518939212367,0.11826695075681748,0.07006614791646468,0.1034062600884389,0.09860289785069117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310470153347892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446842197715291,0.10958206280759784,0.13639744540865348,0.0,0.06775463857216417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12356473640567366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468826394645906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12419744951939665,0.12424306560506823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09141484113897808,0.0,0.0,0.26223164394501003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354163282891615,0.0,0.0,0.14464929533825982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08547083430997393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15796005069908142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528537952350786,0.11727300562644626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982428020207812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08726230716716538,0.1314062340726296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13485462941839768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787513539965308,0.07188892772503393,0.0,0.0,0.11780484275790873,0.0,0.08370294956415326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14543429042814549,0.0,0.2966772403156865,0.0,0.0,0.1142871499786306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nothingisreal64,2018/12/24,"Anyone else terrified of relationships or people touching you? Last night I was third-wheeling at a concert with a couple friends that don't know/understand my issues at all. I was dancing next to them and a girl stepped in front of me and started dancing pretty close to me and my friends started pressuring me to dance with her. I said no a few times and they kept insisting. It seemed like the girl could hear it too. Soon, I panicked and pretty much ran outside to have a cigarette and started frantically journaling in my phone about it all. I was angry, anxious, frustrated, etc.

I'm a guy and I've got a lot of traumatic history with abusive ex-girlfriends and many predatory figures during my childhood. I'm super sensitive to anyone touching me outside of standard handshakes, hugs, and moments where it's explicitly invited and has boundaries (i.e., getting a massage -- although I have had a blackout during one of my massages). Like I haven't been held or even just sat next to someone on the couch where legs touch or anything for roughly 5 years or so.

I'm 26 and I've been single with no real relationships or prospects for the past 5 years. I've been in therapy for a while now and I'm working towards trying to put myself out there again, but it's really difficult.

Anyone experience anything like this? I'll take advice I guess but I think I already know what I'm supposed to do to get through it. Just wanted to share/vent.

(Going to try to sleep after posting this. Will check in the morning)",5.166622023809527,6.684082378472228,5.696765873015872,78.64625000000005,68.96527777777777,8.263492063492063,34.547619047619044,8.704169506293173,3.0567785714285707,1207,60,212,20,21,389,167,288,0.094,0.8290000000000001,0.077,-0.5789,0,1,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,2,2,12,11,1,2,14,0,15,3,2,0,3,42,39,22,0,2,9,0,4,3,2,1,0,3,1,3,10,18,0,2,4,4,1,8,4,4,0,1,13,7,24,7,36,24,7,39,0,0,0,1,14,12,0,8,21,141,34,1,0.0,0.14242518347588062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11746451381007927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326509897405411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13579926048138544,0.0,0.2521537822801683,0.1231658833205233,0.19783960518880456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09597520147166116,0.1330063340949195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041720298419496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406215188007514,0.0793953360872203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758513616302385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857426664731084,0.0,0.12560599089501334,0.0,0.06831618996205592,0.0,0.09614021179540393,0.0,0.13242113959564306,0.1190234485695446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13548159243738506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546447631008806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13212482481625662,0.09798443569818913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618064193165575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219536618428683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218706413188182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836569381569792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556821993863286,0.11280576597548216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08145511388588028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475081651099688,0.0833361320205172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11512470982675732,0.2445866867986371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084085024047066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13682144543857705,0.07700743619329634,0.0,0.0,0.25811383875064553,0.0,0.0,0.11434401873140393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943158844422872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12029342765141007,0.0,0.1018506755423108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552485842407136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09038041523708754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13746674135897433,0.0,0.0,0.07702354571974157,0.0,0.0,0.07009344439039529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632248032138601,0.0,0.0,0.12513932643574052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090097648675843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751184800799489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548182389844628
bipolarreddit,ariananogrande,2018/12/24,Idk if this is a manic episode My doctor told me I am bipolar II in January and I’m on 300mg lamictal daily. For the past 3 nights I’ve been up until 7 am coding and reading articles about architecture and design and how to improve myself and my mind is racing it’s 4am now. I’ve been feeling dummy productive I want to join every club at my school (but I never follow through) and I can’t stop thinking about all the classes I want to take. I want to sleep very badly but I can’t turn my thoughts off. It feels like mania but I’m not making bad decisions and I’m not experiencing negative emotions just a whole lot of energy. But I want to go for a run right now. is this mania and is it bad? Because I think I like it except for the fact that I want to sleep. I have so many creative ideas and I am intensely focused. Idk if this is good for me though. My usual manic episodes are accompanied by these same symptoms but with depressive thoughts and an existential crisis added into the mix so I don’t really know if this is it ,1.2667357293868946,3.405701595348837,3.588805496828752,86.73893763213533,81.88372093023256,6.513742071881608,22.795983086680764,7.686295010490155,1.1377441860465116,813,28,169,14,22,280,127,215,0.071,0.732,0.198,0.9755,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,9,7,0,0,8,0,16,5,2,2,3,47,37,23,0,8,12,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,11,12,0,1,9,2,0,3,7,4,0,0,5,3,22,3,24,32,4,18,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,4,10,114,33,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35537762394738925,0.08648532476876816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219622322751103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14521447248988126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595896178078591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953531116437673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434719311860309,0.10135510833250767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063049787796328,0.11899752566060127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601589422171664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797046653868199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862534277061406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12061655166713048,0.0,0.0,0.09470227173131976,0.14383838577211067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14325271234469802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10942229287045392,0.0,0.0,0.13313952489387934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135435179747633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14191280530338835,0.0,0.09088838127564852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115997272137605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14358447933083052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839537441525099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11861336120833105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14746183688558767,0.1066719013901535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18181478923687716,0.1393908895255868,0.2252648713200527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13556708062972145,0.0,0.0,0.15431862007198158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15625462103199803,0.11706124825030938,0.41840602039840796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583977144517008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nicolanicola10,2018/12/24,"Someone to talk to Strangers on the internet are apparently the only people I feel comfortable being honest with lmao. I would love a pm buddy to chat with casually if anyone’s interested! I feel like maybe having someone that gets it would be nice, and honestly I’ve had some pen pals in the past and they have helped me through a lot of stuff! Anyway, message me if you want :) I read the rules so I hope this isn’t a violation of anything lol ",2.963522727272725,5.095663761363639,4.522727272727273,82.22909090909094,76.1590909090909,7.581818181818183,25.772727272727273,8.472884824447931,1.85545,353,13,69,7,8,118,68,88,0.03,0.604,0.366,0.9868,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,1,0,2,10,1,0,7,1,9,1,0,0,0,14,15,5,0,6,2,0,2,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,9,9,10,10,2,3,0,0,0,1,8,2,0,5,2,47,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16782559745208242,0.0,0.19751369366891264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427198023698781,0.17146832596645986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539907358257202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16087846074061346,0.0,0.0,0.2383912227689234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726027356916235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20405402883454424,0.2166248816789504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24112952430404005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18254388589332304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22912356298912806,0.1663976961108892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400821385217901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4067315664088107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747622548907296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19291672278906524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14156835520641084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34100264566681515,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwaway4356787,2019/07/04,What are you experiences with meds? I think the mania is what I know as happiness and I don’t want to lose it. Is it worth it?,-1.6132142857142853,0.3419255357142852,1.4685714285714295,97.00142857142859,97.21428571428572,5.6571428571428575,14.142857142857142,7.1686216300943375,-0.3156714285714286,97,2,25,2,4,34,22,28,0.09,0.67,0.24,0.5362,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,7,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,3,7,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,18,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4120404381905742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4484035443971833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23149512127818936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4712448156262079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4678877897079163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699049944999264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484503600798676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,paradiseplant,2019/07/04,"Is there a way I can safely smoke pot while on these medications? I'm on Latuda, Lamotrigine and Bupropion to treat my bipolar depression. I had a particularly terrible experience last time I smoked which was over a year ago but I'm just wondering if there's a certain strain or dosage where I can safely smoke without terrible side effects.",7.228809523809524,8.266647714285718,7.971547619047621,65.96303571428572,63.920634920634924,12.014285714285714,36.38492063492063,11.698219412168324,4.759511111111111,278,13,47,9,4,93,48,63,0.16,0.6729999999999999,0.16699999999999998,0.11900000000000001,0,0,3,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,4,8,0,1,4,0,5,2,0,1,1,11,8,5,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,5,4,5,6,0,11,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,3,5,30,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3204136831736856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3113261366665798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3535785656166189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946392491214732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3641342889725269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21077102374847365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869112001186297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484358488512005,0.391989422174358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327692625857208
bipolarreddit,mixedstatethrowww,2019/07/04,"Tortured with the urge to cheat (mildly nsfw) I couldn't figure out how to nsfw flair this

Hi, just need to get this off my chest and would rather not talk with friends or family about it.

Im bipolar II with mixed states.  During the summer I tend towards hypomania.  Usually a 5-10 days long stretch per month.  I'm on 300 lamictal and 12mg Emsam.  Fidgiting with doses could potentially even me out a bit, but I really don't like being on 400 mg lamictal, too much brain fog.  Through the past decade, I've learned how to deal with the hypomania and prevent too many negative effects.  I generally just have the urge to do ""feel-good"" stuff.  Giving in to the small urges (random piercing, buying stuff I don't need) seems to give me enough satisfaction to dull the urge for the super detrimental ones (drugs/alcohol, quitting my job, not eating etc)

Like many, sex is probably top of the list of things I crave.  Been in a monogamous relationship for about two years, and we have a great sex life.  Except....when he is dealing with life stressors, he kinda shuts off sexually.  That's totally understandable and I'm happy he's not forcing himself to do something he doesn't want to, I can take care of myself lol.  I'm doing the hypomania thing right now, about day 4 I think,  and omg, all I can think about is sex (with him).  He's got a lot of shit going on in life right now and just isn't into it and I'm going fucking crazy.  I'm constantly temped to call an ex-fwb, or get a quick tinder account or something. I'm won't, I love this dude and will fight tooth and nail to not jeopardize what we have.  I'm just, idk, just the urges get so annoying.  That's all,just needed to get this out to others that get it. I'm good, I'll be good, I'm just really fucking annoyed at the situation, but not at him.

I've been staying really busy and exercising a lot,that helps channel my energy.  It sounds weird and demeaning, but if he's not in the mood for sex or has no energy, I'll ask if I can go down on him, he  agrees like half the time and it really helps me with calming my shit down.  Hes a respectful dude and was definitely uncomfortable with the idea when I first brought it up.  He trusts that I know what will help me with my shit and that giving him pleasure very much satisfies the need for ""feel-good"" stuff.

Phew, that was hard to get out, thank y'all so much 💛💜💛",3.527436887436888,4.624414288981292,4.807967923967926,85.06936798336798,72.43035343035343,8.490905850905852,25.177368577368576,8.922882184376627,1.64835664983665,1847,55,398,36,35,613,237,481,0.14,0.6920000000000001,0.168,0.9586,1,0,4,0,1,0,72.0,2,1,0,5,22,29,10,0,25,1,30,20,6,3,2,80,71,29,0,11,22,0,1,3,1,4,6,1,0,0,24,32,1,1,9,2,2,4,14,12,0,4,6,2,32,16,59,57,9,48,0,1,0,7,33,27,5,10,18,231,56,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08718464183247188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626666531882496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906467217325731,0.0,0.0,0.09107071127138576,0.08330271385526412,0.0,0.08317665906199649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815943489769487,0.0,0.06513531444189379,0.0,0.0,0.10522522337402508,0.16821162895414932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834771199977582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429436528550241,0.09098371541365287,0.0538830875263952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690674454607728,0.0,0.0824990070925313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939225007972888,0.0,0.0,0.06302881786382103,0.1508395381027401,0.25573436431330904,0.2347780719925715,0.1390920710689385,0.2737030897211054,0.06524730169650057,0.08994268356019902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684385718048845,0.07308001807830755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16404487574668322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209434626466363,0.08812083573072642,0.0,0.08095596303863549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04483445659933374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728679561738708,0.11956819402125995,0.0,0.0,0.07219609047165068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13871348450117071,0.07362949984120595,0.0,0.0,0.1654194504792027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06511670025610003,0.0,0.1799129513969638,0.24196334385078175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055280993157630215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07787772675960261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795747370560128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08677080172533974,0.0,0.0,0.20904998349164133,0.0,0.0,0.08758682342433938,0.0,0.13933843876278587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07426773597652107,0.0,0.0,0.25122333750028303,0.0,0.0916997923298631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560916151825602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869538561870749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.280170134373057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06133831110107001,0.06557123863091162,0.0,0.07510827545223431,0.0,0.0,0.1083967910385028,0.10454685779151646,0.0,0.0,0.0475701897018875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969220074109577,0.08492807778940183,0.0,0.0,0.08984928955925774,0.06731237720039229,0.048118236032731264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05795237843958007,0.0,0.0,0.052535105542710486
bipolarreddit,Upsidedownkonami,2019/07/04,"Newly diagnosed Type 2. Life should be good, but I feel like I'm slowly being pulled down, and considering if I should get a therapist. After a really rough winter (and life), I got diagnosed with bipolar type 2 a couple of months ago. I got meds and some follow-up, and when I was feeling stable, my psychiatrist said we wouldn't need any more appointments for now, which was fine with me.

I've been feeling stable for a while now, but with some ups and downs here and there.

Lately, I've been feeling more tired, less enthusiastic about things, and questioning the point of my existence.

I can have a good day, and then it switches and I'll have casual suicidal thoughts.

I tried contacting my psychiatrist, but since I was deemed ""healthy"" I'm out of their system, and will have to get my GP to send them a referral.
I contacted my doctor and he won't be able to see me until August, so it would probably take 3-4 months until I can get any help from there.

I can't afford a private doctor/psychiatrist/therapist, so I've been thinking about finding something like online therapy.

Does anyone have any experience with that? Or any advice?

I'm not really sure what to do at this point",4.577215515026968,6.061364676855898,5.585800154122786,79.00776778833806,70.35371179039302,9.231030053942977,26.571024916516823,9.627879704456738,2.3936142306704338,937,30,178,22,17,309,133,229,0.065,0.78,0.156,0.9502,1,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,1,0,2,0,10,7,0,0,8,0,23,7,0,0,1,39,41,23,1,6,6,0,5,2,0,6,7,1,0,0,7,17,0,0,8,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,10,7,21,7,24,22,5,25,0,0,1,0,10,7,0,5,17,115,28,3,0.1211413222996565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11837789811424786,0.1073844729695124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3295210131068594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470482922795898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13404056897979474,0.0,0.07812613111173093,0.0,0.0,0.2459117842586996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24798655314209,0.1060115875013944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184994584063226,0.0,0.0,0.24501076977669803,0.08654338485605532,0.0,0.0,0.11072097392178942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18987402293363728,0.0,0.0,0.2032151872676892,0.19377556382686828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119847478797983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13665268809860592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17113139702954058,0.11836706198213395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13456069971869036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933876954079115,0.0,0.0,0.08982475550907403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290354118178415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13061083460102654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135706005469645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15521246613200146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523313859064653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965339496529555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10020935364615906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326050833580164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250894456359136,0.0,0.11417426261876545,0.0,0.09108319814576464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385356596205822,0.2813088243130035,0.08048091167897159,0.0776224678574143,0.0,0.0961726782889166,0.0,0.13923412937504082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224700591622634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605531964734077,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,youhadtime,2019/07/04,"Lithium vs Antipsychotics? I’m currently on Abilify and Wellbutrin but my doctor, who I trust, is really pushing me to consider taking lithium, the “gold standard” in treating bipolar. I took it once for about a month and the side effects (tremor, acne, cognitive issues) were enough for me to stop it.

My current meds seem to finally be working ish but I’m worried about the long-term safety of taking anti-psychotics. A psychopharmacologist I met with this week said that every year I take Abilify the chances of me developing tardive dyskinesia go up 1-3%, cumulatively. But Lithium can cause kidney or thyroid problems and the tremors keep me from playing guitar.

I can’t figure out which one is worse/better.

What would you do? Should I just try it and go from there or should I stick with what’s (kinda) working?",5.952928615009153,7.744181046979867,6.402794386821232,73.28367907260527,67.38926174496645,8.639658328248933,34.35082367297132,9.095868883498916,3.3203369127516784,652,31,106,12,11,211,107,149,0.062,0.8490000000000001,0.08900000000000001,0.6046,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,3,5,4,0,0,7,0,10,4,1,2,0,26,22,9,0,4,7,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,9,7,0,2,3,2,0,4,1,1,0,1,4,1,14,3,17,14,1,16,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,4,7,70,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19499121340016648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942826210216509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961285509089392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15992643955837102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079319042897229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21575128419934772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19811644868028228,0.0,0.1687153602631345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16797937273193775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108405080567036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15150768403018208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20214566198742134,0.12862284500382518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18162631530110132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12159967689087305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18055653349167136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17279949124746474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15869296158031454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4281494034877184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21089028270965784,0.12887121239539168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15225730136028282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27637363267579423,0.1927652801035976,0.0,0.13483838411481727,0.0,0.0,0.12223396056239227
bipolarreddit,Lilith0421,2019/07/04,"New here. Having a massive manic episode Hi all, this is an alt account for me, hence why it’s so new. I didn’t want to post here on my regular account so I hope it’s ok with the Mods that I’m using an alt. 

Anyway, I just got back from a trip visiting my family (which was a complete and utter disaster) and it triggered a MASSIVE manic episode. I’m not sleeping, I’m having horrible obsessive / racing thoughts and I just feel like I want to jump out of my body. This is not a ‘fun’ episode. I’ve been to my psychiatrist office twice in the last two weeks and had a phone appointment with him. His solution is to just keep increasing my dose of olanzipine, which is my ‘rescue drug’. But I’m still miserable. I live in Sweden and in July most everyone goes on vacation. So my psychiatrist, my psych nurse and my therapist will be on vacation now until August. So until then my instruction if things get worse is to go to the ER. I don’t guess I really have a question, I just needed to vent. I’m so irritable and frustrated with everything I can barely stand to even be around myself.",1.8676188490408665,4.1123764541284435,3.9717931609674717,84.23598832360302,80.3302752293578,7.8168473728106775,24.587989991659718,8.710501217029153,1.999644036697248,849,32,170,21,22,290,129,218,0.091,0.8420000000000001,0.067,-0.8032,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,17,7,1,2,12,1,17,4,2,2,1,33,34,17,0,5,8,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,9,12,0,1,3,0,2,5,4,3,1,2,6,1,24,4,25,25,3,26,0,1,0,0,6,8,0,5,12,119,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591379514387786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13745856039298146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19856661842423856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874307603691429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073096050838152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11807200375402516,0.0,0.0,0.17081676073091634,0.1606616485745056,0.0,0.16852288626382247,0.0,0.09038850149744164,0.12770911056333809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339686535360124,0.0,0.10159575908589076,0.0,0.14297398320160104,0.0,0.19692881297552367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17755308949526316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588937480394798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14571660288563015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733511077060763,0.0,0.15785197764064882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132551316911318,0.0,0.34530296833850155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17120659525785312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20025670691593286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114520861594618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17889320382293894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14276124319627653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207558901274696,0.11876292642058454,0.0,0.0,0.14191872926163032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17462655272788302,0.0,0.0,0.15439478825938696,0.0,0.0,0.2108793985760601,0.0,0.14339378016192522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16130679755226338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18217589271854429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,brokenshards22,2019/07/04,"Can't Sleep They just gave me more medication to help my mania while they increase my anxiety medication. It looks like it isn't working because here I am tonight, awake and crying because I'm.so wound up and want to work on a, million projects but I know I should sleep. I need to sleep. But I can't",3.331500000000002,5.15499581666667,4.036666666666669,87.495,74.16666666666666,6.8000000000000025,28.66666666666667,7.554174236665415,1.5900666666666663,239,10,49,3,5,76,42,60,0.061,0.8220000000000001,0.11699999999999999,0.2805,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,2,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,5,6,3,0,0,9,10,5,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,1,10,1,5,8,2,5,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,3,32,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666843842983926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656460578101878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23934068543835815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14604631239937707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197460211718012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644949278405808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829717687470436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4390002140973222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16156183153107567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6541386611217033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285164970820855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3172513755510219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,akashiclibrarycard,2019/01/17,"Guanfacine (Intuniv)? Recently had a  catecholamines  blood test (levels of dopamine, norepinephrine and epinephrine). My norepeinephrine level was 5x normal. My pdoc has prescribed Guanfacine (Intuniv). Anyone have experience with it? Thanks!",10.232604166666668,14.84941371875,7.508750000000003,50.72791666666669,83.6875,10.883333333333333,42.833333333333336,9.2995712137729,7.273920833333335,197,12,18,7,6,57,29,32,0.0,0.894,0.106,0.5502,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,1,1,0,0,3,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,2,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,11,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3400423297149829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4757087910301732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4764848490751954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4801767919260751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4477329530378449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,48624862577865,2019/01/17,"Woes of getting in as a new patient I'm just so frustrated, been off meds about a year and a half, been stable, moved to a small city and away from a crappy hospital, but away from from my established medical resources. I called the largest provider here, as of January 17th they're booked into mid April! Place I'm waiting to hear back from is *only* a couple months out, hoping to get in earlier simply because I'm already diagnosed and have records of previous medications. 

I just don't get it, yeah I should have done this sooner, but I was stable, if not slightly elevated, but I'm trying to stay ahead of this before my depression gets deadly serious (2 previous hospitalizations). The second place I called only has one Psychologist and one nurse, I forget the abbreviation but able to prescribe, however I had a bad experience last time with a similar situation, interestingly enough on my second hospitalization I was being cared for by the Dr that had the nurse as his assistant, and he was not too impressed with the meds she had has been trying, as I was not improving, she'd actually prescribed ssri for me and he explained that that is about the last thing I should be taking, anyways. 

It's just so frustrating for me, trying to get the help I need, as much as I had bad side effects from my last meds, I'd rather have them than go through this damn suicidal roller coaster again! 

Thanks for reading and letting me get some of this out. ",6.986697080291973,7.256974923357668,7.410647810218978,72.43341697080292,64.36496350364963,10.79160583941606,34.278284671532845,10.550175099000144,3.613628467153285,1155,47,210,27,16,379,156,274,0.16899999999999998,0.755,0.077,-0.9823,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,1,2,13,13,3,0,16,1,26,4,0,1,0,33,45,20,2,6,12,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,10,12,0,1,2,3,0,2,4,8,0,5,12,1,23,5,43,27,3,28,0,2,0,0,11,14,1,3,11,151,33,2,0.11100119751133547,0.0,0.10832115665582187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224925816733902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20857855799576175,0.0853530691911993,0.1853627267976952,0.06766529972704358,0.0,0.09445384345764067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266892666739229,0.0,0.11317311870481983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12282071376977348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956051687648652,0.1126638789171539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135927638467166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11469390951965247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085804706259492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3479612657651876,0.0,0.06308453856929241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510641691658184,0.0,0.0744017628870252,0.0,0.0,0.11024923503835987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714423733126499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11350624501656273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3698919210190973,0.2236440571488307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860009684035138,0.11797670619429702,0.08159865213231103,0.08230598146358864,0.0,0.10720564824869022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15043456833450375,0.1688428252257956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319452519975345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103123601181253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12476999677060388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11831250736780255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12141729385401888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08345908625904767,0.0,0.0,0.10219498918722243,0.0,0.0,0.07374426334122326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06472569091684417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260875804006864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148113188008469
bipolarreddit,LazyTell,2019/09/22,"The Line Between Mental Illness and Abuse Found out a few years ago my dad is bipolar-schizophrenic.  I'm still trying to process this as I've always thought of him as nothing but an abusive drunk.

I don't really.. I guess make the connection between his behaviour and his diagnosis.  From what I understand, bipolar disorder is characterized by ups and downs of mania and depression, in phases lasting weeks to months.  I kind of understand that, because I was diagnosed as borderline which my DBT team says is kind of similar.  

I guess what I'm trying to say is I dont see that in him.  He has up and downs more emotion based and rapid like I do, and he seems like hes fine most of the time until he starts drinking.  I have never, no once in my life, witnessed any sort of 'manic' episode from him.  Then he'll text me abusive things or weird vague threats like ""Just so you know, I don't fuck around with ppl I love and trust. I like to believe the best of ppl. But if you fuck me over, I will make a mess of your life.  Don't fuck up."" in the middle of the night with no context.  I grew up with him, and the worst thing about growing up with him was his shitty fucking disposition and lack of morals, and how he got mean and violent when he was drunk and was always out to make people feel small and stupid.

I dont understand how he got this diagnosis.  I just cant make the connection, I dont see bipolar when I interact with him.  I was wondering if anyone who has this diagnosis might read this and have some insight?",3.916261961722488,5.0745332697368415,4.7043540669856485,85.94638755980861,71.56578947368422,8.29043062200957,27.96291866028708,8.710501217029153,1.9175052631578948,1190,43,250,21,22,384,157,304,0.153,0.6809999999999999,0.166,0.6905,0,0,1,0,1,0,33.0,0,3,0,2,10,21,7,0,11,0,24,14,0,6,1,55,53,30,0,3,7,1,1,4,0,3,6,2,0,0,12,23,3,0,11,5,0,2,10,11,0,0,9,5,37,10,45,41,7,33,1,1,2,5,27,17,4,11,18,167,49,2,0.0,0.3344580243021532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340865703376114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15658749769831862,0.0,0.0,0.06398714918368786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579271522973344,0.0,0.0,0.08376361244152743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057358831348518075,0.0,0.0,0.10601172060038036,0.09874585181669096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104302756880892,0.095503433162155,0.0,0.0,0.10783988024127802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33083241492452753,0.09217630173210284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584308953327907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04757675551400345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316921844293793,0.0,0.34795356109486864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15051114092954268,0.0,0.20731030680632728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19596885069967274,0.05171160370056887,0.07669917163099534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329227551044354,0.18387830947896466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492351207656039,0.0,0.2512339126704615,0.0,0.0,0.10249595470669598,0.0,0.0,0.09482462465311693,0.09981886844662477,0.0,0.0,0.07510493609912998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07257109641786356,0.0,0.0,0.0883008484344346,0.0,0.09028573434551868,0.0,0.0,0.10020704311774146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06523293467334898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411946694257728,0.0,0.06027902822898755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965465690751115,0.0,0.0,0.14996147722406225,0.08565964710751978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660022016676566,0.0,0.0751435929559766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502375016361256,0.0,0.0,0.0747001285902471,0.054866970281545566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776730413284065,0.0,0.0,0.29386552897990714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547653416055106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10204093330583572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060593453434039726
bipolarreddit,gangsterriffic,2019/09/22,"Question about meds I hate making long posts when I’m depressed but here goes. Im(27f) diagnosed bipolar but I have never taken meds. I was diagnosed when I was in a state ran rehab at 18 and everything is really fuzzy from that time. But I’ve never taken medication. The thing is, I freaking love mania. As long as I stay away from alcohol while I’m manic the dumb stuff I do is pretty minimal. I feel great and I can catch up with everything I neglected while I was depressed. But when I get depressed it’s a challenge to function. I’ve been trying to find ways to relieve my depression but not stomp out my mania. So question is, is the the feeling I will get from bipolar medication even something I want to feel?",2.612735562310029,4.989361241134755,4.1548784194528885,83.21250000000002,78.43262411347517,7.149138804457954,26.383485309017225,8.192908349453996,1.9758932117527856,569,23,106,11,14,189,83,141,0.195,0.657,0.14800000000000002,-0.8608,0,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,7,12,2,0,6,0,13,9,0,1,2,21,27,15,0,1,6,0,3,0,0,1,8,0,0,0,4,4,1,1,6,0,0,2,3,8,0,0,7,3,16,4,16,19,0,21,0,5,0,1,3,5,1,2,10,73,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407203234474041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12371281532106845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4536452721046305,0.2672943140419312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696996794032866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366816515602457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997362158886592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034838779155528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13758930359904195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14517193918900426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300016108514621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14223138669665172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330561206486449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884165393297605,0.0,0.08789395591321557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29252205246473223,0.26529702962343776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031114567719063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610806649616724,0.13396061631466932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950118372954392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435425286871365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013696992113058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403478240027234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507361506974163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747889063368026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678063866072761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08939855035679384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766521254116733,0.10451733256423844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,xraysz,2019/09/22,"Is this drug induced psychosis? Hello all. I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 a year ago. For a couple of months I have been smoking weed regularly and noticed some psychotic symptoms such as audio hallucinations and paranoia during my highs. But I just thought that was apart of being high until I did my research today... Last night I smoked the same amount of weed and had a bad trip. My dead cat showed up at my front door growling, clawing and banging on the door to hurt me and my dog. I also heard voices, saw dancing bugs, and a woman beside me... I'm aware now that it wasnt real but in the moment I felt like I was in a dream like state and everything was real. Should I bring this up to my psychiatrist? I'm worried she will be upset at me for smoking weed. Thank you",3.027232767232768,4.839163961038962,4.2780519480519485,85.49037462537464,74.97402597402598,6.2969030969030975,25.48251748251749,7.010146845296331,1.1013912087912097,606,21,119,6,13,199,104,154,0.099,0.821,0.08,-0.2287,1,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,1,8,0,14,4,0,1,1,20,22,12,1,1,3,0,1,2,0,2,4,3,2,1,5,8,0,0,3,3,0,4,1,3,0,0,12,5,20,3,17,6,4,24,0,1,1,0,5,10,0,1,11,80,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16878999128146796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15227352814956824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15898723643350748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210688806713108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19326559405297145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22081909314446385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711312870765128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828267259660917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4023644255895512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038414842141196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15521233612059446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860527393531993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15198616019241418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17869007807381024,0.0,0.0,0.216786919323983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4334642747411458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979124318416768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17530707698275722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15116697117385278,0.0,0.0,0.18048963988820074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19337405181062992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261998742775355
bipolarreddit,__chills__,2019/09/22,"I've started my journey for meds! I was hospitalized a few weeks ago due to my depression getting to the breaking point. Turns out I'm not just dealing with anxiety and depression, I'm bipolar! I'm so happy to be getting on a good cocktail of meds to help me be a better me!",3.6260526315789465,4.507591561403512,5.7008333333333345,79.57125,71.98245614035088,8.50701754385965,35.30263157894737,8.841846274778883,3.1291789473684206,217,12,43,4,4,76,40,57,0.14,0.644,0.21600000000000005,0.7199,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,5,10,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,5,3,9,7,1,9,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,26,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105938377971697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18174244242035134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101137206332259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24492699117146516,0.4092419854094776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.248243829434168,0.0,0.0,0.19926468418541016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529005250491844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15923995300263047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5277793592836628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245829635904088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16815515873104786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584108444429006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19056646585336925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,NaiveMenu,2019/09/22,New guy I’m dating noticing my ups & down (ugh) I guess I have to tell him I’m bipolar now. He called me last night wondering why some times I’m in a good mood and other times I’m down. This whole time I thought I was doing a great job at masking but nope!,-0.3552873563218384,1.4137911724137917,1.6075862068965527,100.75436781609196,85.55172413793103,4.55632183908046,18.287356321839077,5.46131890053228,-0.6823540229885054,200,5,51,1,6,66,45,58,0.0,0.9059999999999999,0.094,0.5848,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,6,10,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,7,2,6,8,2,13,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,3,8,26,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500264901857412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23562999498132506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935490894372637,0.0,0.25441180839221056,0.2542062513904863,0.2284869680235541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289919773519668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18809878973635072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22286777604821148,0.0,0.2165510053109624,0.0,0.0,0.26271982095437674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20169289990991116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18319629120084294,0.403671010533642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082234473970119,0.25763336868457953,0.0,0.0,0.2502475013776926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mistears0509,2019/09/22,"I can't trust my own decisions    I am on a new medication (geodon) and SEEM to be doing better.  I put in notice to quit my job a week ago. I am constantly second guessing if I am acting on a bipolar emotion or making a sound decision. I don't trust myself anymore now. How can I know if I am doing the right thing, or if this medicine is somehow failing me and I'm going to regret another decision? I've completely been paralyzed about making any decisions because it seems like when I do, I decide wrong. How do you trust yourself again?

 I have been overwhelmed with full time work and caregiving at home after, the combination has been too much. I am neglecting a paralyzed family member who now has bed sores. I need to work but work less hours to do more caregiving.  I have been talking about it every therapy session, for six months. I am a teachers aide but I am qualified to be a substitute teacher, which would be same hours but not 5 days a week. (Call in as needed). I put in my letter giving notice to end the aide gig but asking them to make me a substitute instead. I hear they are very very short and really need subs. I tried to leave professionally, with written notice that was positive and explaining I need a flexible schedule due to caregiving at home. I am not doing this because I hate the job, but to be honest I have felt crushed and overwhelmed for a long time and my family members health has deteriorated due to my being gone so much. 

Any advice on how to trust myself again?",4.56301641475703,5.818755225255978,5.920370550950763,77.46718998862346,70.12627986348123,9.266959206890947,29.310742727124985,9.606745405546679,2.7664729075247854,1183,45,221,27,21,399,157,293,0.098,0.8290000000000001,0.07400000000000001,-0.6952,2,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,2,6,14,14,1,2,15,0,36,4,0,6,0,47,57,23,0,9,12,0,1,1,0,1,4,2,3,0,8,9,0,1,10,0,0,5,4,7,0,2,8,3,35,7,29,43,7,38,0,5,0,0,11,11,0,9,23,163,43,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10040099792239153,0.09107703734614184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13973993067690801,0.10773684746757768,0.0,0.0,0.1018952012656806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960524883224474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526451355632054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908693976102007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491389542681284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772593418523768,0.11103059319068263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626187533641717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557403465148205,0.09100136796406526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656689817517081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19371724596974535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986510895715342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856214343082033,0.05839221926662867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318494522455555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143918683850717,0.0,0.1092128835566841,0.11580082051691938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061227586998244,0.0,0.20236579975341515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20391665642896956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05646583734778569,0.0,0.0,0.10879187387430726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050195903684141584,0.0,0.0,0.09092588626977643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057487908986762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350454421069273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200989337607137,0.0,0.15105845252201255,0.30473577365065285,0.0,0.09923153693646493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3509267972145437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065737397687583,0.0,0.10928170760594892,0.0,0.0,0.06582092915101663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877434702709298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18706995547263305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258235241510475,0.0,0.0,0.11749759621782915,0.0,0.0682590582785492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982260065353426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975695295880642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16955038739319225,0.0,0.0,0.16483131044096327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22439824381960907,0.0,0.0,0.07298693511845261,0.11233527439115884,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ForeverFreddie,2019/09/22,"Lamictal Brain. Hi everyone! I just wanted to ask how any of my fellow Lamictal users handle “Lamictal brain.” I’ve recently gone up in dose, 200 to 300 and I’ve noticed that this side effect has intensified for me. Is there anyway to manage this, or does anyone have any tips on dealing with this? I feel like my motor skills are just going down the tube, my short term memory is down the drain, and my balance and coordination are horrible. I’ve been able to deal with these effects, but recently I just can’t. Any and all tips, advice, or help is greatly appreciated. Thank you! 

❤️",2.838133547868061,5.202660858407082,4.602204344328238,80.3639340305712,77.5840707964602,8.002896218825423,23.54706355591312,8.841846274778883,1.930299115044248,459,15,87,11,11,155,79,113,0.019,0.857,0.124,0.9215,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,3,6,3,0,0,2,0,9,3,2,3,1,18,15,8,0,1,6,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,1,9,3,13,13,2,12,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,2,4,52,14,1,0.1897331217402182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854050106759105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3870750870279694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13266581023557394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17737485673834558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4236098247456497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3912130347214932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660367334238095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18129812865708386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959347671942958,0.13554538008168215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782970548647232,0.0,0.0,0.20918143653535115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12717411209990975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926940194921079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160124166439021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3746771362882148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17468076704955787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190951101805828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jessismess,2019/09/22,"struggling I’m not doing so good guys. If I’m not crying my eyes out willing myself to die, I’m thinking about jumping into bed with a stranger and forgetting everything. I just want to be reckless. Forget the pain. It’s a good thing I haven’t been in New York long or I’d definitely be doing something else to numb the pain. I feel so alone. So, so alone. My only friend is my roommate and she just doesn’t get it. I made another friend and she betrayed me. I quit my job because I was so depressed and to top it off, a guy I dated spread things and made it so uncomfortable for me. People went from loving me to isolating me. The meds don’t seem to be working, I’m tired of rebalancing them. When I can’t function, I don’t take them. I’m worried about myself but I’m also ready to die. You know? just not wake up. I wish pills did the trick. I wish I had the strength to jump in front of a train, but I don’t want to. Leave people traumatized. Hospitals are like jail. They just make sure you haven’t hung yourself with the sheet or something. It’s scary. It’s lonely and dirty. Useless. I feel trapped. Idk what else to say. I’m a hopeless case. I wish I could believe and “manifest” a better life,... but what if it’s not for me to even be on this planet. 

Idk...I just don’t know",-0.034202020202023675,2.1859810074074097,1.892020202020202,96.07045454545455,88.92592592592592,4.754208754208753,19.66329966329966,6.273863323946077,-0.03829629629629672,992,31,226,10,33,327,142,270,0.249,0.626,0.125,-0.9868,1,5,2,0,0,1,41.0,0,2,3,5,16,18,1,1,12,0,22,9,2,3,1,45,47,22,2,8,16,0,2,1,2,1,6,1,1,2,12,11,0,0,6,0,0,4,12,9,0,0,7,4,34,9,27,34,0,16,0,4,1,1,13,8,0,5,5,139,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385572511285461,0.0,0.0920992755384091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12076299151713725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07020493797422778,0.0,0.0,0.12975414760578372,0.0,0.10185614811191177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09195174509492657,0.0,0.12650590876010878,0.0,0.0,0.09919345617662867,0.0,0.2390510206124187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924150595229457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07606693805976279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350497393231266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11646412910962865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17795599341180118,0.0,0.06017017875489555,0.0,0.0,0.19319379167333575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280675348499779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11428580856677405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12658590996345606,0.0,0.0,0.12194557805090955,0.0,0.0,0.08134609403710816,0.0562649421557213,0.0,0.0,0.10191946664848964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394301553430343,0.2179482324697446,0.07687508985705653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12792494566179655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11122932900832387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875899472860302,0.24509232694589145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15968505720741602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12249463613242477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158568662171326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484401565885523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17732288084396516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203979031985802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10854384951932987,0.0,0.08659150255504483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15302411885294698,0.07379457749219054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323679088456438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13585735516933115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676127260103567,0.0,0.0,0.3973102518922272,0.0,0.0,0.08384319092253346,0.11695801821963825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mdwuerf,2019/09/22,"Saphris I am on 3 mental health meds, Saphris, Lithium, and Effexor. Since I’ve been on the Saphris (2 1/2 years) I have gained 35 pounds. This has done terrible things for my self esteem. 

My psychiatrist took me off the Saphris and after 2 weeks I am finally weaned off. She said I should start losing the weight!

I haven’t been this hopeful in a long time!",2.41,4.759872000000001,2.6385714285714315,93.95642857142859,79.0,6.285714285714287,24.285714285714285,7.447530270364453,0.9527142857142864,280,10,60,4,7,85,51,70,0.083,0.8140000000000001,0.10300000000000001,0.3311,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,4,0,9,2,0,0,0,4,13,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,5,2,9,1,7,7,0,13,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,1,7,34,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528288922588213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27064294043891873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626139902533521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453870389556214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21864096096533345,0.0,0.2763977478623951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744287619498424,0.0,0.2489790945371816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23501131924207205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577382109119988,0.0,0.0,0.20437117906194707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17487084788110674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641361630760532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14406309152997668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744935483446041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19817720558180926,0.3008533960928929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15909900224838053
bipolarreddit,kelpiegirl88,2019/09/22,"How do you know your psychiatrist is the right one? How do you know your psychiatrist is the right one? I have half hour appointments monthly. Have seen her for 3 months where I she diagnosed me with bipolar. Each half hour appointment is just upping / adjusting medication, I believe she is just working on getting me stable at the point. But she doesn’t talk about the condition or offer any other advice like sleeping, lifestyle to help etc. is this normal?",5.3814629948364905,7.773584048192777,5.3836833046471595,77.5831325301205,69.96385542168674,8.598278829604133,29.929432013769365,9.23628265651192,2.8738998278829606,368,15,62,8,7,115,59,83,0.0,0.904,0.096,0.787,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,4,0,1,6,1,0,0,4,0,10,4,1,2,0,12,14,4,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,1,1,13,1,7,13,2,11,0,0,1,0,11,7,0,1,5,49,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20219313230585445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407080351612006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23312026086544865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21001248848919854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307628536744488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810357916479184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13868952074140234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40753554018806204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22742810844264444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108731192756468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20844322700882634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3303121993786262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20273095201879254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804194064182645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19559980394193596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3534053935834093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20706257697513444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16630894964712362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15063523517595356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DeanIanChang,2018/11/29,"Issues with med costs. What would you do? I recently lost my job and my insurance runs out tomorrow.  I have a refill available for all my meds, but I don’t have any money to cover them right now.  I’m wondering what people have done in this situation before?  Are there any GOOD Rx discount programs?

Also...Hi, I’m Patrick and I have bipolar II.  I like long walks (by myself), movies (alone in bed all day), and and fun parties (in my head when I’m pretending like I’m not sick).",0.9886363636363632,3.3484156666666682,2.8094696969697006,90.4643181818182,85.04166666666666,5.990909090909091,21.227272727272727,7.348242739294969,0.7920124999999998,368,12,77,6,11,122,69,96,0.016,0.768,0.215,0.968,1,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,1,1,3,5,0,0,1,0,9,4,1,0,2,12,15,6,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,1,0,3,6,0,0,1,1,3,2,2,1,0,0,2,0,12,4,8,12,2,13,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,1,8,44,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21798656580729345,0.0,0.16831519220632982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2862577321125806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909703172925018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13573768118709809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153869666509894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17653477721986027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21600603248549652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21967914264286714,0.2088619885761228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20565296519555765,0.0,0.0,0.18626199303112867,0.0,0.0,0.22975615621204504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4675761387084961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14591548597543547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078167083778579,0.0,0.0,0.17974280283219454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365804847370205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22824900408460524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495139894491796,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DeathRowLemon,2018/11/29,"How to start the first session with a psychiatrist. So I'm going to get an appointment. I know what I have, it's 99,99% sure that it's bpd. How do you tell them that? Do you flat out say it and describe your symptoms and feelings? Or do you just ask for generic testing for mental illnesses? Any other ways I'm missing?Thanks in advance this will really help me. ",1.779166666666665,4.2677952500000025,2.9977777777777814,89.60000000000002,82.6111111111111,5.822222222222222,24.277777777777786,7.1686216300943375,1.0975777777777775,286,11,57,4,8,92,56,72,0.045,0.868,0.08800000000000001,0.4684,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,4,1,2,4,1,0,0,3,0,5,2,0,2,1,11,13,6,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,8,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,8,1,7,12,0,7,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,1,2,39,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19615603545713228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696620101907249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3632929441835623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458490940852743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453556028696376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15070333036346042,0.0,0.16393290274872346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933420967531552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585246928240997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906899693604078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18478859191965774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293871860301468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041665446132314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718609110281627,0.2998102157560905,0.0,0.0,0.2521181991402071,0.2655662005902453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22895835193755226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,samoaj,2018/11/29,"Retalin or Adderall with Lithium On two separate occasions I've tried Retalin and adderall for ADHD, however I felt absolutely nothing even tho the doses were fairly high.

Now I was wondering whether this is because of the lithium if it blocks the effects of stimulants and if anyone of you tried them.

Note: I know one shouldn't take them if they are bipolar however let me worry about that",5.372499999999999,7.702931250000002,6.1344444444444415,72.45500000000001,69.83333333333334,9.8,37.0,10.125756701596842,4.521816666666666,318,18,50,9,6,104,56,72,0.069,0.9309999999999999,0.0,-0.5859,2,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,3,1,4,0,0,0,3,0,6,2,0,2,0,15,10,8,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,8,0,7,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,5,1,39,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33233040252318946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19335334339441906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16856762600094802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826427532861361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655082353232245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921648025763428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519714064525121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827664746318548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653340652619406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18738111081247288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079130676380244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37548587779535536,0.0,0.27012562989556177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29988054982801177,0.0,0.28082548096969395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sylvias_dead,2018/11/29,"Reducing quetiapine So I saw my shrink today and she's more than amenable to me reducing my quetiapine. She doesn't really want to discuss completely coming off of it until she knows how reducing it affects me.

She's written me a prescription for 200mg (down from my current 300mg), and will review it in a month.

I know they say that quetiapine doesn't cause withdrawals per se but to anyone who has reduced it or come off of it altogether, what might I have to expect in the next couple of weeks? ",5.913095238095237,6.327123234693879,7.035102040816327,73.71585034013606,66.65306122448979,10.61496598639456,32.65986394557823,10.504223727775694,3.4454231292517012,399,16,75,10,6,135,68,98,0.013999999999999999,0.986,0.0,-0.0566,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,3,0,14,13,7,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,8,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,2,14,0,16,9,1,13,1,0,1,0,8,5,0,2,6,54,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18774745559174585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758322953221536,0.0,0.4625927654110089,0.2815261575141885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970996577337973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29513060786288664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848451915301343,0.0,0.0,0.2143210020403568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28556194125345924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17201348410714146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21352881511069646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25451475601311385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583733285376862,0.0,0.2153814019689967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Bigpoppapenguin123,2018/11/29,"Lamictal + adjunctive med questions Hello community! I have a few questions regarding treatment with lamictal and an adjunct therapy, mostly for the depressive side. I have been on Lamotrigine 125mg for a month (titration of 25mg every 2 weeks prior!) I do feel that lamo is helping a bit with keeping me at work and being productive, but it’s not enough. In fact, sometimes it feels like a mixed state. I have urge to socialize and engage in conversation, but deep down I don’t feel good about it. Doc decided to add on pristiq. 25mg Desvenlafaxine succinate ER. I’m on the 5th day of taking it, and I notice a bit more anxiety, just like before lamictal came in and killed it. I can’t stay asleep much, my body and soul feels exhausted but my mind feels a little wired. Today I felt depressed, unsure if it is an early side effect, or from lack of sleep. I’ve only slept an average of 4 hours a night the past 3 nights. I want to mention this: I had taken generic Effexor (venlafaxine) about 2 years ago, and it helped. When I first started, I noticed almost an immediate lift in my anxiety in a matter of days, and my mood was much more calm after a week. Of course I’m trying to treat pristiq as a different med than Effexor, but how much time should I give it before giving up? I’m torn, because I don’t want it to make me worse, and Christmas is coming up and I only wish to enjoy the holidays :(. These are some questions I’d love feedback from:
1. If you are/ were taking lamictal and also an add on such as an AD, what side effects did you experience when you started your add on? 
2. When/ how soon did you begin to notice a positive change? 
3. Did you feel worse before you started to feel better? 
I’d love to hear anybody’s experiences, even if it’s combo of different mood stabilizer + adjunct. And yes, I understand that everybody reacts differently to different meds and I shouldn’t expect a same outcome. 
Thank you very much I would appreciate anything you throw at me! :)
",3.4440239605355885,5.408361431524551,5.082861169837916,79.5085623678647,74.21963824289405,8.411839323467232,27.747944561898052,9.095868883498916,2.5048439276485785,1562,62,291,36,33,528,212,387,0.08800000000000001,0.727,0.185,0.9914,4,0,0,0,0,0,57.0,0,9,0,5,12,17,1,0,22,1,23,7,4,6,1,65,56,29,1,11,10,0,8,2,0,3,1,1,0,0,15,20,0,1,15,1,0,3,5,4,1,1,11,9,34,11,44,41,14,50,1,2,0,2,23,20,0,10,27,183,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07013242882698574,0.0,0.07922422670973507,0.0,0.0,0.06326982005334178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210485457809454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510653306014415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04822897646608501,0.0,0.20196816736019788,0.0,0.0,0.06997253913989368,0.17275050135061173,0.0878811287606704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048874773205437,0.0,0.0,0.08369527394766982,0.06815227248463117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10204781339806587,0.0,0.13628667730718494,0.0,0.0,0.3306416182337069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817489892949638,0.0,0.05225601889824615,0.0,0.06665946765450283,0.0,0.0,0.1547831749395885,0.0,0.0,0.2800274548225754,0.05652118608047674,0.07596470767692687,0.0,0.0,0.06729686248550293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15179243222254385,0.0,0.06635956886271667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917058612857298,0.0,0.10606088750921304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791428806738435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07032280673123717,0.0875312158427644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07730511982191564,0.07929599839993133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14281232616025172,0.0,0.05281119827931778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636433862820112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988559574525944,0.0,0.0631504183480081,0.0,0.2326403334783799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14849185176746849,0.0,0.0,0.27022561719475624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120344056364649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552610936239906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658873719861671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917411700079335,0.08064979733153954,0.0,0.0,0.07824871590389784,0.0,0.16799821625769618,0.08432817347300868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189722449558544,0.0,0.0,0.07284028517341365,0.0904771613592445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0461337470841343,0.0,0.07499364581611488,0.0,0.0,0.05371523581710056,0.0,0.0,0.08236356604065606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06527979402343083,0.09333048891249728,0.0,0.12692573764806753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098062207190637,0.0,0.0,0.05759810347427085,0.0,0.16125392286112664,0.056202432376458285,0.0,0.0,0.050948740951721326
bipolarreddit,jetskiwarrior,2019/06/28,"Had an episode in front of friends last night and I hate myself for it I was at a party last night. Everything was going very well at first. Sure, I had quite a few drinks, perhaps too many even, but I’ve previously drank the same amount with no problem whatsoever. I’ve been on Lamictal 25mg for a few weeks, dosage will be increased soon. I forgot to take it yesterday but I only realized it today, after the episode. I think the fact that I didn’t take it and the alcohol triggered something.

So everything was going well and I don’t really remember why but I started to feel very conflicted and angry. I left the party angrily after having probably said a bunch of nonsense (I don’t remember it at all). I went for a walk outside, came back, told the host “I don’t want to see any of you ever again. I can’t. It’s killing me.” and left again, went home.

I have very little recollection of what happened, but I did left my friends and I’s Messenger group chat after having said:
“I’m going to kill myself and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“I am god.”
“Fuck you.”

I really hate myself for that.

It’s not the first time it happens and at this point I think my friends lost all respect for me. It’s also difficult to understand. I myself have no idea what happened. I don’t even know why I was angry.

I just wanted to share this :/",1.5019425408539815,3.7286463726937313,3.337410384818135,88.37361162361626,81.58302583025831,6.675856615709015,22.96270426989984,7.83500028581142,1.2165043753294684,1041,36,216,19,28,348,138,271,0.203,0.6759999999999999,0.12,-0.9859,0,0,3,0,0,1,34.0,0,3,0,4,15,16,5,0,13,0,23,4,0,1,5,38,53,14,2,3,6,0,1,0,3,1,1,2,1,0,16,10,3,2,10,2,0,9,9,8,2,2,18,4,35,8,26,33,8,39,0,1,1,1,12,11,1,0,19,150,51,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040628820117632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778697201515682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621746141460587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487437193566576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136958279350688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09538916456122708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12862883328610206,0.08808009481701674,0.0,0.0,0.17502642246177594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04923507317753406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16565205478399006,0.0,0.0,0.22569205879082385,0.09002042519401644,0.0,0.0,0.16601916892922045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583217486720925,0.0,0.0,0.1922727571960313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767376980052576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992306543743516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154591644628068,0.0,0.053514044091883664,0.15874513875990598,0.0,0.0,0.3173904602166186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759403771554928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629490631719166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872165782790784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18275725981474775,0.0,0.09343270026222432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405709375432944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920496292581384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049853278730759,0.09317348919880823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10356892581334262,0.0,0.0,0.1247601831550412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22061086154619644,0.0,0.18524939180945316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759423929995225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496303867249703,0.0,0.0,0.0689216126262634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091773568650051,0.0,0.14642582218039493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12478628228999755,0.0,0.0,0.05677939295474605,0.0,0.09229889081276513,0.09304475210017762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101369465455471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24103052393088406,0.11486707322856285,0.0,0.07810731611338248,0.0,0.1751013175562837,0.18053280814355335,0.1757292542734354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,I_run_on_empty,2019/06/28,"Is this psychosis or is this normal? I am in a depressive episode right now. I am working with my doctor to get my meds fixed, but things are going much slower than I’d like. On to my question, because I haven’t experienced this before. 

I am seeing bugs all over the place, but only out of the corner of my eye. When I try to look at it it disappears. Last night I heard someone speaking. It was while I was falling asleep, and I don’t remember what it said, but it was a male voice (I’m female), and it was loud and clear (not someone I heard through the walls). All night I got woken by the sound of what I thought was my phone vibrating, but every time I checked it, there were no notifications or anything. This happened several times over the course of the night. 

Any insight?",3.9876398601398577,4.991564442307695,4.6909090909090905,86.69045454545454,71.24358974358975,7.4675990675990676,28.284382284382282,7.686295010490155,1.5314564102564108,607,22,127,7,11,195,98,156,0.067,0.888,0.045,-0.3204,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,8,0,14,3,2,0,3,20,26,11,0,1,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,1,14,5,0,0,4,0,1,3,4,1,0,0,12,11,17,1,17,14,3,22,0,1,3,0,7,10,0,3,10,88,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11825606912241872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310259061870806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600612796890628,0.0,0.14797372149559782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497774161270236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779911678062931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14651590343186074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085411728936983,0.0,0.09882979452410677,0.0,0.13908148833418835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15377673257270133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174943965685344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849573951694401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602986313732805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19316060310768976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278344616061891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.489572267365181,0.17038234844031724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13225666781731538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18168557712901104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948046786071454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19699164491383606,0.1485072711162384,0.16541607315281814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385735654935975,0.0,0.0,0.1964543546318268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946850912376355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552958234511598,0.0,0.0,0.13805496389068386,0.20280172856352888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11806479380526985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265992433398099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TANUULOR,2019/06/28,"Anyone on Latuda? Hi there, brand-new here so I hope I'm doing this right--does anyone here have any experiences they wish to share about Latuda? I was given a 40 mg daily for 7 days sample by a health care professional and my regular doctor agreed to give me a prescription before the sample ran out, but when I went to pick it up I was stunned at the price (over one hundred dollars) so I asked if my insurance had denied it. Nope, that was my copay because apparently the Latuda was over $1400 cash price, so I left it but may go back to get it as I do believe it was helping me. Was just curious if anyone here has experience with it and how they felt about it. I'm not on any other psych drugs other than citalopram and I've read that Latuda works best when paired with something like lithium (which I was prescribed long ago but never took). Thanks!",4.87974481658692,5.437088649122809,5.585007974481659,82.708995215311,68.94152046783626,8.089526847421585,26.07177033492823,8.00094639256281,1.4131473684210527,673,18,135,8,11,219,113,171,0.049,0.8079999999999999,0.14300000000000002,0.9367,1,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,2,2,14,6,0,0,6,0,13,3,0,2,1,20,28,15,0,4,7,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,13,6,0,0,1,1,4,4,3,0,0,1,13,3,15,6,19,14,1,19,0,0,0,0,7,8,0,4,8,91,28,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14783873451684462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268296720525771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34984540355519195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15591502243113053,0.0,0.0,0.12824207443539634,0.0,0.10166638981488042,0.0,0.14191589052609008,0.18790182188366564,0.17502334038849787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17004140156363512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755808579080677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17070446583152465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934096627399912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32628199379804146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16013314295166106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713468062277759,0.15998876314675675,0.09478384512223254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772773354121367,0.0,0.0,0.11178785373152593,0.0,0.0,0.16564829759739536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18120490795416336,0.0,0.0,0.0814793618109194,0.0,0.0,0.14759338196144922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128629562427485,0.16107534096759848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130131657409652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16682324570408166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424275973939566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12839393956589026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354687926821062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852966203034677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15460498179450172,0.0,0.0,0.19178659940393275,0.0,0.0,0.12141645271138768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,orangeshade,2019/06/28,"Mid Mixed Episode It just feels like my body and my mind don't go together at all. My body and even my brain feels fatigued and like it's dying and just wants to sleep or collapse in a lump and do nothing. But my thoughts aren't sleepy. They're racing, they want to do things, they want to stay up all night long, and they drag my poor brain and body along with them. My body is super unhappy about the fact that I've averaged 4 hours of sleep a night in the past 2 or 3 weeks, but my mind doesn't want to stop. My thoughts feel fuzzy because my brain is tired and wants to be dead, and I get mad at my stupid brain for not being strong enough to house all of my thoughts. 

I want to do all kinds of stuff but at the same time I want to sit and stare into space. I kind of want to die. I haven't been really suicidal in years. I have so much pent up restless energy that I can't do anything with because my body is too tired. I just want to scream and hurt myself until I feel as much as I want to. I feel dissociated like my mind isn't in my body. I feel like I'm watching myself live my life and I'm just trapped behind soundproof glass without being able to do anything. 

I also decided I want to be an artist when I'm not artistic at all, so the hypomanic-ness is still there. But then as soon as I think that, all of the thoughts about how that's not possible race in, and it's just pure hopelessness. It goes back and forth super quickly from wanting to do absolutely everything and feeling like my heart is plummeting and my chest is closing in and I'm going to die. 

It's so fast and so overwhelming and it feels like there are two different people inside my head that don't agree at all and are super mad at each other. I just want to curl up in a ball and for it all to go away. I wish I were just depressed so the thoughts weren't so fast and I could just be numb and lethargic. Or I wish I were hypomanic and didn't feel so bad all the time. I hate this.",3.0491498642087076,3.692131954653938,3.9288371327462777,92.6287112171838,73.12887828162293,7.4022220393383265,23.994815241543908,7.503015589744147,0.6998448028968811,1535,40,367,17,29,493,177,419,0.19899999999999998,0.669,0.131,-0.993,1,1,0,0,0,5,30.0,0,0,4,4,28,25,4,2,11,0,33,21,15,1,11,98,72,47,5,16,19,0,9,6,0,0,6,1,0,0,16,30,0,1,16,3,1,3,13,13,0,1,10,12,47,12,55,56,14,45,0,5,2,0,4,21,0,3,25,238,63,0,0.062151136110011336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04970224109258906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229017879708638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05839303826564871,0.04779038730791816,0.05189360259716984,0.07577351141334733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41421540748519975,0.0,0.2775248900542825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04962262489987094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053530682460600915,0.0,0.1935092006497853,0.06493470903995209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06421873764755823,0.0,0.04105023923933763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05585743360728735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828293366492345,0.17760313622150514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03247140342393683,0.0,0.10596576877443947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061361379719184275,0.06378499625207347,0.0,0.0,0.07364939553641657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06120634967536999,0.07171406649968713,0.06653407664613888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12944168836814918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043899185461959936,0.18218343436923048,0.0,0.05488059184673832,0.05500179967516414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18826479052138287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137647248446726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166492620116422,0.0,0.059635691322966214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05933029196464324,0.043087772220840884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07006606758423882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03981560926286794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439204183443672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06624484162147977,0.04963397758135047,0.051961132731622936,0.0,0.0,0.0711481813169265,0.0679832553667698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04129045317537984,0.03982393846641062,0.0,0.2467052986103874,0.07248165454388905,0.14286717631398393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06071262906619409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4765585546552448,0.0,0.0498538924887124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14294147854883246,0.059911477341586784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040023293949807436
bipolarreddit,d7gt,2019/06/28,"After Lamictal, What Next? I'm beat. I tried Lamictal. Due to previous experiences, my pdoc agreed to titrate very slowly. 12.5mg for a month, 25mg for a second month. I was on 37.5 mg for 6 days and my head started itching. Spent the night in the ER. It was not THE rash, but I was told to immediately discontinue it.

This is not my first rodeo with psych meds, I've tried pretty much every SS/NRI, Mirtazapine/TCAs, several antipsychotics... most of which have set off their own drug-induced manias/psychoses-- except Mirtazapine, which just makes me want to stuff my face.

So here's where I'm at. I found the Lamictal helpful (I mean, a bit. I acknowledge that I wasn't really on a meaningful dose, but it was a bit of a cushion) but it was already starting to cause some weird side effects, like hair loss. Which I hadn't heard of, until I considered googling it, and there are enough reports that I wish I'd been notified first.

That might sound stupid, but I'm a woman in my 20s, and hair (and weight) are massive issues to me. They're some of the few body issues that I live in a tenuously okay zone with. I feel like all of my options are bad. Re-challenge the Lamictal in a few months (with my pdoc's okay) but risk the damn rash again, and potentially have my hair fall out. Or try one of these riskier medications and hope for the best.

Most of what I deal with is depression. The mania is its own beast, but it's around a lot less. 

I'm super recently diagnosed (3 months) and I'm just coming to terms of all of this. The past few days have been intensely stressful, but after the initial few days of withdrawal of crying spell and heart palpitations, I'm starting to get the manic twinge again. And I know where this goes.",4.084736842105265,5.349476573099416,4.857480701754387,84.60243157894739,71.28070175438597,8.51293567251462,26.54549707602339,8.954980946260402,1.8556878128654968,1356,44,282,26,25,438,186,342,0.114,0.764,0.12300000000000001,0.0405,0,0,1,0,0,0,62.0,0,0,1,7,10,15,2,2,22,2,19,14,10,3,2,50,41,19,0,3,13,0,5,2,0,1,4,2,0,1,21,16,1,0,7,0,1,2,4,8,1,4,13,7,25,7,41,27,20,39,0,2,0,0,6,13,1,9,25,177,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458038084474744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049882416383256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09426105149963654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11847437937996043,0.0,0.2465001269410677,0.12539882215023662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597234665859495,0.0,0.09724743886379657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400780685498827,0.21842019641055488,0.1163878642294371,0.09723469105428,0.11458415482147195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092019446289674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166487858557014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951173345963824,0.0,0.0,0.11043114773228108,0.0,0.0,0.0570821607058223,0.0806508776227519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19205368454177635,0.0,0.12378149462757082,0.0,0.0,0.058982003122213626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158609253493749,0.0,0.0,0.13377890757489785,0.07566988816270295,0.0,0.0,0.11212835505045657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356622030754522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620431141405355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030776582593793,0.0,0.09968670578824032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09597770559201367,0.0,0.0,0.07535704370166002,0.0,0.0,0.12297371888972647,0.12539882215023662,0.11372795573676092,0.0,0.1197617750219746,0.0,0.0,0.36044089058987616,0.0,0.08298944328046359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006312895619688,0.10594255884706748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649930942470666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776927070915504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485290328601537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07232223255629748,0.0,0.11146835048385273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12753710788209496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23971902431325945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931870378904242,0.0,0.12923562920231801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787422764792867,0.0,0.2299410828460288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931486588325636,0.06658729550575923,0.0,0.0,0.13747342385650782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12982153287292214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,notamonkey415,2019/06/28,"Started double dose of Lamictal today I was diagnosed Bipolar II three months ago, after years of misdiagnoses and dozens of psychiatric medication trials. I'm excited to see what this diagnosis and treatment plan will do for me and how my life can change--I've kind of bumbled through life up until this point and I crave stability. Has anyone tried Lamictal and want to share their experience/early symptoms/changes you noticed? I'm so curious because I haven't felt anything yet (only went from 50mg to 100mg today--upping to 150mg in 2 weeks then 200mg in 4 weeks). Anyway, thanks for any advice and wish me luck!! :)",7.076231527093598,7.656565293103447,7.453891625615762,71.13741379310346,64.17241379310343,10.421674876847293,34.67487684729064,10.290406445055957,3.682553201970443,498,21,85,11,7,163,89,116,0.0,0.815,0.185,0.9588,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,1,1,4,5,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,1,0,11,15,10,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,2,8,5,17,11,1,16,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,1,11,48,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19212799688857127,0.1742856058202317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337036161087523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13747641599996888,0.0,0.16179578758401691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11985349034777745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20799053687767213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19955810701808666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887793609870768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20474223588243565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27774722342422753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19806696307377986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569346606651197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22384526050052814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495330842035977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18586288314834767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15667514522571382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391637287101654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810148805894773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37273236396741577,0.0,0.0,0.13348735489049146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596747092376525,0.0,0.3154222582928903,0.0,0.0,0.18226226707730972,0.0,0.0,0.2260953042824377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266123579500511
bipolarreddit,And_Still_It_Walks,2019/05/28,"I don't know my diagnosis My psychiatrist told me that I'm somewhere between bipolar 1 and 2, and as a result I'm being medicated for bipolar 1. I'm on an antidepressant/anti anxiety, a mood stabilizer, and an antipsychotic.  I use alcohol in secret to hide from reality. I don't really know where I fit in. I'm an atheist and as a result do not attend AA. My SO told me that if I drank he would leave me. I guess I'm just... confused and scared but don't want to admit it. I feel hopeless and alone. I have friends but they're either far away or guys and my SO doesn't really like me to have guy friends. I'm so frustrated and tired. I need help but I feel I have no one to ask or understand or even sympathize. Sorry for the rant... any advise would be appreciated. Thank you for reading..",1.0560294117647082,3.1816631036585363,4.073572453371593,83.0395767575323,82.59756097560975,7.517360114777619,23.67144906743185,8.4952907291091,1.7147565279770451,615,23,131,15,17,221,95,164,0.20199999999999999,0.674,0.124,-0.8224,0,1,1,0,0,1,24.0,0,1,0,0,6,9,1,2,7,0,12,6,0,3,0,34,33,20,0,5,10,0,2,1,2,2,5,0,0,2,3,8,2,0,7,1,0,1,6,4,1,1,3,2,20,4,15,26,1,8,0,1,0,0,13,7,0,6,1,82,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833971312802983,0.0,0.17773449095954638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669955924082324,0.0,0.13127991414472465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604306370686681,0.0,0.16123168904577892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334569333730468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735406708823346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651683631716874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18904593921607094,0.3398384833761936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11502545624562592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18862291683502394,0.0,0.0,0.18170845897253474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.083839169051515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17287735338495042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272454133105534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628625577101526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716547845669621,0.0,0.21987340006644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17180989057439233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921014923464716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15799390768638638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972385478686038,0.0,0.3279582553542995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17865033914637474,0.0,0.14821451120100926,0.0,0.0,0.10121904804779988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438112890825845,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mish92,2019/05/28,"Daily muscle twitching I’m on Vraylar 3mg and have been since Jan/Feb this year. I am doing well on this medicine and have been stable since the end of March.

One of the only noticeable side effects I’m experiencing is muscle twitching. Right now it’s muscles in my chest and arm but it happens pretty much anywhere, every day. They don’t constantly twitch but they twitch, rest, rinse, repeat. 

I’m afraid to change medications since I’m doing well right now. Is there something I can do for the muscle twitches? Is it worth looking into another medication? Will they get worse?",3.5744537114261874,6.243148146788991,4.1883069224353635,82.68369474562138,76.70642201834863,6.165471226021682,25.505421184320262,7.348242739294969,1.4397816513761477,464,17,81,6,11,147,74,109,0.038,0.8440000000000001,0.11800000000000001,0.7808,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,3,1,5,3,0,1,3,0,14,9,2,1,0,7,21,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,2,1,2,2,6,2,8,18,2,15,0,0,1,0,3,7,0,0,8,49,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19345218849248227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19516428029868388,0.0,0.0,0.19936643541403026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189797650363172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16340197622504188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15543944617492514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09638758212168494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16314249570052086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549238036239717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3717053369786261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13562021220021914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100412827413917,0.0,0.0,0.1250141242939422,0.14031175262844614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876910423753555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31510419598911377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.457832168888917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420281948058101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3317544816891489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18800945570838565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11880449027723874
bipolarreddit,jupi-sprite,2019/05/28,"Any bipolar I folk out there 'allowed' to be on lamotrigine monotherapy? Hey all, keeping it short... I've only had one manic/psychotic episode, diagnosed about a year ago. I am on lamotrigine/Lamictal and love it, and was recently switched from lithium to Abilify because of horrible acne.

HOWEVER, I've gained 5% of my body weight in 1.5 months, and call me vain, but I refuse to continue on Abilify if the weight gain continues. And most other antipsychotics are said to be worse in this regard.

So, my question is, does anyone's doc allow lamotrigine alone? Mine won't because supposedly it doesn't provide enough protection against the manic side of the spectrum. Experiences?",7.46125,8.931033958333337,7.7633333333333345,66.12000000000002,63.58333333333334,12.0,40.0,11.698219412168324,5.46175,545,30,85,18,8,178,90,120,0.113,0.797,0.09,-0.4195,2,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,4,0,9,6,1,2,1,14,12,7,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,5,5,2,3,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,3,7,1,16,6,3,14,0,0,0,1,6,8,0,3,6,53,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802246544669022,0.0,0.0,0.21057089028344636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13825977137222648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14216113519150034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24787536277505845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258348431668581,0.0,0.0,0.2076052439015247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20635835480584924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17792052424889154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21007661641164016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988790684092465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18071388309602168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18349786658138845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162282449311534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13777011019771354,0.15462865280888954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277570236042791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20074700079263666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19339716451867428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4951607771730075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20719325578167147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092686774330747
bipolarreddit,Concernedcouplettc,2019/05/28,"Chances of having a baby with S/O on lithium My partner and I have been trying to have a baby for two years now. He got diagnosed as schizoaffective in November of 2017. He takes 1200 mg of lithium, risperidone, and sertraline. 
I was told by a fertility doctor that I am fertile. Not too sure about him. We keep trying, but continue to get our hopes down everytime we check the pregnancy test. His psychiatric doc told him he could have kids while on his medication, but we aren't too sure.
Did anyone have any success having children with their (male) S/O while they're on medication? Should we continue? Could he look into different meds? Or should we think of other ways of having children, like adopting or donors?",4.1532587064676605,6.517015843283584,4.879925373134332,79.96501243781096,73.40298507462687,8.34726368159204,28.33084577114428,9.075114841892004,2.6307980099502486,569,23,101,13,12,183,91,134,0.028999999999999998,0.866,0.105,0.9088,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,6,0,1,1,4,5,0,0,4,0,16,4,0,0,2,24,25,9,0,5,5,0,0,1,1,2,4,0,0,5,2,10,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,6,1,15,5,19,15,0,13,0,0,1,0,22,6,0,3,7,69,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293932304671562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13304440146789842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038375182023767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931246804273263,0.0,0.1987964248133092,0.0,0.19475408212018624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941060805212246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15217995327674094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889855780644403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16912477788716673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09295854237864748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15978271454681256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21135214979296102,0.3833632170440251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35866305549762845,0.0,0.14306279454826365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12192025969095638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36363100593288905,0.0,0.25836788231288194,0.0,0.18587060414716056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15103109486585395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253058285944605
bipolarreddit,jos_mom,2019/05/28,A little bit about me I suffer from BPD and bipolar. I have not experienced much mania but within the last several months I have. They have been up and down with med changes. I thought they were working but now I am not to sure. Anyone have an idea?,1.105666666666668,3.5801413000000046,2.291999999999998,93.47266666666668,86.0,4.933333333333334,20.333333333333336,6.42735559955562,0.16733333333333356,195,6,41,2,6,62,39,50,0.10099999999999999,0.899,0.0,-0.5709,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,2,1,2,2,0,0,3,0,7,1,0,0,1,10,8,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,1,8,1,7,5,2,7,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,33,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19344211255268307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020332711903423,0.0,0.3484345930922649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2926620435362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3123074051891517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22550900566321966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27727884552331106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3072989610792925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208216738193559,0.0,0.2033716845448633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3125389862455856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607420469579169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196314688031613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014065773550039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AltitudinousOne,2019/05/28,"Struggling with at work? /r/MadAtWork is a new sub for help with mental health and illness in the workplace  Thanks to the mods of this sub for permission to post the following

[/r/MadAtWork](https://www.reddit.com/r/MadAtWork) is a positive, forward-facing community which may appeal to anyone experiencinh workplace challenges of mental health.

As we are a very new sub, please post something to help us get started!

Some possible topic starter suggestions

Disclosing mental illness

Managing managers

Getting in on bad days

Difficult workmates

Workload survival

Self-care

Work/life balance",11.186774193548386,13.333423537634413,9.106612903225807,57.37991935483874,55.55913978494624,11.791397849462365,46.68279569892474,11.538034831475384,6.42649247311828,491,29,58,13,6,147,68,93,0.139,0.7040000000000001,0.157,0.2157,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,2,0,0,3,0,5,0,1,6,0,4,4,0,0,0,6,9,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,15,8,1,12,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,2,5,31,4,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590014686135597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383989753152253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689862847359816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17320088550434345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3523808345170682,0.0,0.0,0.22220492594390734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5011278779874306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3201755201155725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819498377408895,0.0,0.1868644972155939,0.3174960293429217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17291920693274446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760673400798694,0.0,0.0,0.11732264387286412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17328370862753734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15260545666549805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19938353885487775,0.0,0.0,0.136765702581453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24134405467610506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,KodiNChill,2019/06/14,Bipolar Disorder possible trigger causes? Can you trigger bipolar disorder from a major life event or stress? I believe I've had the gene all along and got triggered from a significant event.,6.47818181818182,9.483279848484852,6.578787878787877,67.48818181818183,68.69696969696969,9.248484848484848,41.30303030303031,9.725611199111238,5.159048484848485,157,10,21,4,3,50,26,33,0.242,0.7070000000000001,0.051,-0.7757,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,2,3,0,4,1,8,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,3,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,13,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3351550998844392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055911776918398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6818696202476656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379198082357168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21011704654750246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3353610102117981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.340759294151498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Jeva_91,2019/06/14,"Lamictal and acne Anyone start majorly breaking out once they were on lamictal? I have it all over my arms, back, and chin. It’s not normal for me to have this much acne.",1.2444117647058803,3.7189331470588254,3.3426470588235304,86.23691176470591,85.17647058823529,6.9294117647058835,20.264705882352946,8.07648339933343,1.2788470588235294,133,4,26,3,4,45,29,34,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,1,6,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,5,3,3,6,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,21,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3405500644673862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3745041061502674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3580308308705632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4771963131951829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5186822716568901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34472979557293226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,O5Beta,2019/06/14,Irritation and depression Do you guys get really irritated when depressed? Ive been in a shit mood all week and throwing and breaking stuff at work (mechanic). Its like the littlest things piss me off and i start getting frustrated instantly. People who talk try to talk to me at work annoy me and i just want to be alone. I also give up alot quicker when im depressed and say fuck it. Anyone else do this when they r depressed??,3.05147590361446,5.433546602409642,4.2369728915662686,83.16461596385547,76.95180722891567,7.523493975903612,27.24246987951807,8.472884824447931,2.1578927710843367,340,14,64,7,8,111,62,83,0.376,0.588,0.036000000000000004,-0.9889,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,1,2,5,11,5,0,3,0,5,3,2,0,1,10,11,10,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,6,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,9,0,0,1,1,9,1,8,9,2,12,0,4,0,1,8,5,3,1,6,42,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18292410704490766,0.0,0.14124221886064842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12349617117727454,0.1809671249688156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6084870381418219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14754258266608536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16328149853927326,0.18455236497574948,0.16942912051347214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17488066265437194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907789203232089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628716379887158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244543546631363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314670875906595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14045458575764858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812969531774625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12501189776770347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20218659714724255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28391946141969904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173378724188342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991276547070782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417451266841407,0.0,0.1416731768860999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571615955288797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Its_A_Nice_Day,2019/06/14,"Anyone else on Oxcarbezapine? I try to describe to my doc, and others, about the comforting feeling when it kicks in at night. It sort of rounds all the edges out and gives me a sense of comfort. Calms me down if I'm wound up, but also picks me up when I'm low. I can literally feel it kick in.  

Idk how to describe it though? Like my blood is getting filled with a powerful acid that puts me in normal mode?",2.2885714285714265,3.853028809523813,3.6995238095238094,89.91214285714287,76.38095238095238,6.704761904761906,22.714285714285715,7.447530270364453,0.6785428571428573,316,9,71,4,7,104,62,84,0.048,0.7929999999999999,0.159,0.8290000000000001,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,4,0,2,2,1,2,1,13,8,9,0,2,2,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,4,8,4,16,8,1,15,0,1,1,0,1,10,0,2,4,46,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579928829190193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22557797157605125,0.3305543530885368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695011205742703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262448727201463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16855157428740375,0.3094790467348225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15761203928224887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3027497224994038,0.3160914872898177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3243143961705467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3169648769323233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21903252662083048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cloversandcanaries,2019/06/14,Rite Aide in-house pharmacy discount program gives you lamictal and quetiapine for $13 for a 30 day supply. If you don't have insurance Rite Aide offers a discount on meds that is really affordable. From what I'm told Costco is even cheaper. Hope this helps anyone who for whatever reason can't afford meds,6.121724137931036,7.5028792758620755,6.951206896551727,71.0519827586207,66.58620689655173,10.627586206896552,31.74137931034483,10.686352973137794,3.8094,250,10,41,7,4,83,48,58,0.0,0.893,0.107,0.7096,2,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,1,0,4,9,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,5,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,7,1,0,2,1,21,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990130080592476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835564335857806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18798890721817296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730335572737471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19077486920952286,0.0,0.0,0.28269200323694105,0.0,0.32841340862463386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6322975882639409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18233493919274615,0.2926368903146252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719667250777759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mboecker99,2019/06/14,Lithium Anyone out there on lithium? Any weird side effects that you have encountered? Also any tips for weight gain on lithium?,4.502121212121214,7.960226181818182,3.360909090909089,84.0280303030303,82.63636363636363,4.751515151515153,30.06060606060606,6.42735559955562,1.9488606060606068,104,5,15,1,3,30,18,22,0.066,0.78,0.154,0.5007,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,4,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3786226161642377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.64393267184607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3310514646016625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5765418947858205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fergusoncommaturd,2019/01/11,"Latuda 2x/day? Had a pdoc appt today and we decided to try latuda. She said do 20mg once a day for two weeks then 20mg twice a day.

I was under the impression that latuda was generally taken once a day. Anybody else taking it twice a day?",0.7552941176470611,2.6273535490196096,3.6585882352941184,86.99964705882354,82.13725490196079,6.432941176470589,18.04313725490196,7.554174236665415,0.4212243137254901,185,4,40,3,5,66,36,51,0.0,0.948,0.052000000000000005,0.3094,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,7,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,3,1,3,2,0,8,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,7,23,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7199659372616756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865166844255687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4755588099437406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123845976972026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16787417779084102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21163754009330926,0.0,0.0,0.15158831458518526,0.0,0.21810614664153552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909684612635207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SubstantialProblem9,2019/01/11,"Living without meds I stopped taking meds 2 months ago. I will never put that garbage into my body ever again. I tried everything you could think under the sun and still had BP symptoms as well as the horrible side effects of sleeping all day, being overweight, being constantly hungry, pissing myself in my sleep, having no sex drive, not being able to have an orgasm... I could go on. I can't live with medications, but it looks like I can't live without them either. So that leaves no option but death. I've been trying to figure out how to kill myself but I can't even figure that out. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?",3.751463414634145,5.55214841463415,4.556593495934957,84.30171951219513,72.98373983739837,6.546016260162602,23.68211382113821,7.1686216300943375,0.9985518699186992,497,14,92,5,10,160,89,123,0.174,0.778,0.048,-0.9518,0,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,1,1,1,7,4,2,0,3,0,15,9,5,2,3,25,20,8,2,2,7,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,5,1,1,5,0,0,3,10,2,1,0,2,1,14,2,16,12,2,19,0,0,1,2,3,7,1,1,10,70,19,0,0.15326698580772571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13586193531779725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042268060981443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17024506966373631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656271625639149,0.0,0.2447424334386549,0.0,0.0,0.09884452638460373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123139863063328,0.13863876336362282,0.0,0.0,0.13774648413168852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871051600736045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695672114030922,0.0,0.08423152712196888,0.0,0.0,0.162287607964657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748785074511662,0.0,0.40601266934871294,0.0,0.12870566680173395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34049013932747263,0.15440036369657914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233624581938872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11820894806488175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15407565336229848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30675534678378313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223992128490864,0.12813806297658606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15930308313496586,0.115237699015679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09820729585594673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081164453085376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13780542686617425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954878099470091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,surfinsano,2019/01/11,"Is it bipolar So here’s the deal. I’m grappling with the variation of depression/anxiety to elation and feeling great. I’ve pinpointed that it’s about a 6-7 month cycle and I figured I’d put it out here to see if anybody else has similar stories/situations. 

For the last ~5 years I’ve had 6-7 months straight of feeling depressed, high anxiety, suicidal thoughts (with plans), isolation, and a general urge to just shut myself off from the world. One time I went without talking to my parents for like 6 months. Then all of a sudden I’ll wake up elated and happy and it’ll last for about 4 months. Then the cycle starts again. Right now I feel the depression starting back up. There was a trigger to my depression this time around but it’s really suck for the last few days, making me afraid I’m heading into another cycle.  I’m so tired of it. And I’m in a position where I can’t get professional help. 

So I can’t figure out if this is a depression thing, suicide thing, or bipolar thing. Any input would be appreciated. Thanks. ",2.778421052631579,4.962921960784314,4.330701754385967,83.1371052631579,76.94117647058823,7.824148606811146,28.38390092879257,8.6894789155246,2.383729411764706,816,36,158,18,19,272,122,204,0.158,0.716,0.126,-0.8934,1,1,0,0,0,1,28.0,0,0,0,1,14,10,1,1,13,0,10,5,2,2,1,29,26,15,2,3,6,1,3,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,12,12,0,0,6,0,0,2,3,6,0,1,4,4,9,4,27,19,2,35,0,4,1,0,4,14,1,3,20,96,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834008513709705,0.12860096264961424,0.1876417816623231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917749392892664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09430422477542803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909402544748115,0.1264386468800405,0.4225259342319801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10245175931826006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186034631920183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640754490549438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13521337706337822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305548238253785,0.0,0.0,0.12586620370115192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822044319843812,0.12957813981494873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29990910495683964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059916747951907226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186457154789954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3915671001280739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310547869363732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13617956739086354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12328921077994172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856768645342202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473570564105432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772989602515034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736134562725085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26830116080733074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857509541151373,0.0,0.11291239228486902,0.0,0.0,0.24443393724192425,0.0,0.0,0.09736414891782366,0.14302722005915455,0.14095908264288515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369047965529025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822263313009095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712144765422641,0.0,0.0,0.07897750827121491
bipolarreddit,ItchimusIV,2019/04/07,"Could i have Bipolar instead? Hey there. My psychology assignment for my final term is to research an illness of which I chose bipolar. I chose this because my Dad is diagnosed with Bipolar and i wanted to learn more. Looking at it has made me start questioning my own mind as well.

I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD-PI. However, doing research i've found that ADHD and BD can be mistaken for eachother sometimes because of similar symptoms. BD runs in my family (through my dad) and yet i'm not aware of anyone else in my family with ADHD, which is supposedly hereditary as well. 

I have also had issues with depression and self destructive tendencies for a long time. History of alcoholism and pseudo substance abuse after failing school for 3 years and a seemingly innate ability to tell myself that i will never succeed and that i do not deserve anything other than misery and seemingly becoming hellbent on proving that voice right.

However, while i do feel that i have cycles where suddenly out of nowhere i'll just get depressed and basically zombified for a period of time, I don't feel that the mania symptoms strike me at all. I do have periods where i will suddenly be very happy and everything is great, silver linings in everything and sign up for lots of different clubs or take new courses etc. But i've seen it state an increased or grandiose sense of worth, or feeling that you are good at everything, and I have never experienced that i guess.

Am i just being a hypochondriac or is this something that any of you can relate to? I don't really know if i'm just being in my head or not. Thanks for reading.

",7.7610777863777125,7.824135134868424,8.152538699690407,68.46335913312694,62.782894736842096,11.889783281733749,38.60603715170279,11.442366930564873,4.770817569659443,1307,63,216,36,17,432,172,304,0.115,0.812,0.07400000000000001,-0.9287,3,0,2,0,1,0,26.0,0,2,0,2,11,11,1,0,7,0,31,10,1,1,4,50,49,23,0,3,13,2,3,0,0,2,9,1,0,1,16,17,1,0,10,2,1,2,7,4,2,0,5,7,30,7,39,37,7,34,0,3,2,0,8,13,0,11,18,164,46,8,0.0,0.12726082299077396,0.0,0.0,0.38725034579928375,0.0,0.0,0.11478640278564403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589407567160114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304106949988752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751021157683697,0.1100521080136774,0.08838756728988441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309497435159206,0.11862361020634972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857564851096529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18502057005670489,0.21803355792738224,0.0,0.11221841690399532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972553576779756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197882239910312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28959394125597065,0.0,0.20250925784295026,0.0,0.1629260164147166,0.0,0.0,0.11766012747082955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776724155825873,0.0,0.0,0.056116205658875054,0.0,0.0,0.09008866825642184,0.0,0.11841761215927235,0.11832193433102756,0.0,0.0,0.11433772921764453,0.0,0.0,0.11023151420037904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210596413963682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05902858445843645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505263021383606,0.09019560231983537,0.0,0.0,0.0913143735472758,0.0,0.10163197192816556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10845138172084676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16567922042982666,0.10373523946730737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203214530521741,0.0,0.10743698717550744,0.0,0.06880826457231153,0.0,0.1060523642651878,0.0,0.0,0.09172577772402407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870255035470028,0.0,0.1955602747593948,0.11204988646971001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268786511336845,0.10622918034836464,0.0,0.07602387935652324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22327591149345535,0.08075738956142868,0.0,0.09387925720802376,0.098886783008888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526084505118942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862278354747663,0.06335197468839772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931452404233868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916717965991458
bipolarreddit,halfgonehatter,2019/04/07,I'm sinking again. I just burst into tears for the first time in over a year. Today has been hard. This week has been hard. And I'm starting to sink back into that energetic depression again. I'm not actually suicidal right now. Which is good. Unfortunately I can't bring myself to leave the house for more than a soda without somebody pushing me to do so. I'm sinking back into that mire of despair that has no cause or meaning. I'm doigts my best to hide it from those around me so they don't get worried. The messed up thing is I'm still on my meds. Yeah I've missed a dose or two but not enough to spiral me out like this. I'm thankful I'm on my meds or I'm sure I wouldn't make it. I'm rapid cycling I know. I know it'll pass. I just had to tell somebody what is happening before I tear my face off. The last time I felt this way I was fresh out of the hospital. I wish I knew why it was happening. What the trigger was.,0.11855454545454693,2.170857310000006,2.174454545454548,95.66472727272728,85.9,5.236363636363637,19.590909090909093,6.574015621080383,-0.015000000000000124,722,21,171,8,22,241,115,200,0.086,0.762,0.151,0.9564,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,2,12,9,0,0,9,1,17,3,1,3,1,27,41,7,1,2,9,0,3,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,15,7,1,0,5,0,0,3,7,4,0,2,8,3,20,5,25,31,3,31,0,3,0,0,2,13,0,3,15,108,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.1472919566224341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343652167189742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321212393410323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12843558768108165,0.0,0.15839822797412592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550530528276368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300011263297212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15595744051647428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449224202164606,0.0,0.0,0.12838625307230253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885793389100698,0.0,0.0,0.1265981219200662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669447631651137,0.0,0.2704183733702239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17416010762623102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16590117440226154,0.12303314670864453,0.0,0.15981964041376315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373980235244365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075108432879223,0.0,0.0,0.16441376828867146,0.3353121801117417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889868855055614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683341794130104,0.0,0.12053784284459243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16509970288060338,0.0,0.14225558053497234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13192488999790988,0.13896177237307472,0.0,0.0,0.10027530329759476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760242219195043,0.0,0.14306986737511632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744273374158662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980612861932527,0.12107191385470495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361964422401887,0.0,0.17356917898684396,0.1454971088817391,0.0,0.0,0.15328303587658895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09719796299496078
bipolarreddit,sillysnek6,2019/04/07,"Bipolar & handling work What do you do for a living?
How do you manage your stress and triggers to avoid mania/depression?

Have you ever had to leave a position because it had negative effects on your mental health?",4.17625,6.964816124999999,4.830000000000002,78.24500000000002,75.25,7.0,30.0,8.07648339933343,2.635,175,8,27,3,4,56,32,40,0.24,0.76,0.0,-0.857,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,5,0,2,2,2,0,2,2,0,6,2,0,3,1,6,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,5,0,4,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,23,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.361283942503821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032629653496828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871928475052132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30161710743429665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35443293453002217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3530666149866606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944351299245371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3360308071489527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3819563406246203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427495287802968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Vicarious124,2019/04/07,"I called the suicide hotline.... I called them to thank them for all of the hard work they put in. I wanted to thank them for being there when I needed them. I wanted to let them know that I have been mostly stable for over a year. 

The operator on the other end sounded overjoyed that I was doing well. He said he would pass the good word around.

Made me happy to thank somebody for the service that has helped me in the past.",2.8408803986710964,4.421518337209303,3.4711960132890383,92.05802325581396,74.93023255813954,5.379401993355483,20.42524916943522,5.288315135182226,-0.2017588039867104,331,7,70,1,7,104,55,86,0.061,0.708,0.23,0.9349,0,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,6,1,4,6,0,0,8,0,8,0,0,1,1,10,17,1,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,3,15,6,14,10,2,11,0,0,0,0,12,5,0,1,4,54,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17154384270103035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3935364626102869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706749915994577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16162760603678575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20513271880687176,0.17262133771537125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12916273896922625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590287300730757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970487919582346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823373864601031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428845982524612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18395394151476244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19371671046540592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833018149571409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21078250869175766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5322367723623118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273188893733895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732604301474183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402878851739477,0.0,0.0,0.13688854153413516,0.0,0.0,0.12409247335001372
bipolarreddit,KinkyGuy79,2019/04/07,"Am I Bipolar? Hi I’m in my late teens and would like to know if I’m bipolar or not, I’m asking this because someone told me that I might be bipolar because she thought I was on a manic episode. I would also like you’re experiences of early signs of bipolar



My mood swings during seasons but it kinda has to do with my seasonal affective disorder:

-winter: feel anxious, sometimes get panick attacks, I even got depressed this year due to me loosing myself to my OCD fears
My fetishes also come at me very strongly in winter, I become hypersexual and cannot control my sexual urges which cause me distress

-Summer: I feel some sort of euphoria and well being

-Sometimes I feel very hyperactive and cannot concentrate, move my legs a lot, turn my head a lot, cannot stop laughing at jokes that aren’t even that funny and I have a very strong compulsion to fool around 



Paranoi: 

-I hallucinated a few times but they were just like rare, sometimes I hear a voice call my name but it lasts one second
When I’m anxious I tend to have more auditory hallucinations but they don’t scare me  because they last like one second.
I remember a few times when I woke up from bed I heard 10 second conversations and once heard someone say my name aggressively but they didn’t really scare me .The voices don’t really interfere with my life or anything. I remember having many hallucinations when I was little of having bee buzzing sounds that disturbed me several times but I don’t have them anymore


-Sometimes even now, I am scared in the shower and get anxious so I sometimes have a strong compulsion to see behind the curtains if someone is looking at me to reassure myself because sometimes I feel pressure.



So do you guys think I’m bipolar or not?



",4.5512204373047735,6.552133162650605,5.3772423025435065,78.4114881749219,71.28915662650603,7.810084783578758,31.27219991075412,8.515128840125781,2.617958813029898,1398,63,246,24,27,455,174,332,0.158,0.7240000000000001,0.11900000000000001,-0.9441,2,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,5,4,14,24,3,7,11,0,28,8,2,3,0,50,54,25,0,4,14,0,4,4,0,3,6,7,3,1,9,11,0,3,9,1,0,2,10,12,1,5,10,13,49,11,25,39,6,31,0,1,2,0,20,10,0,11,23,166,58,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13377456932406476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834699028300824,0.08294890984595595,0.0,0.0,0.06882901210214322,0.07445778564200571,0.07819258508125591,0.09515315348616134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039459113445102,0.09237437065910953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08540631104556089,0.0,0.0,0.08592184236732206,0.0,0.07204889228704471,0.0,0.0,0.09380994270642096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203944766243059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585926934884503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16573130167296513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181646695335107,0.0,0.09411882583597908,0.16916461744419892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739742741767048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06689495558640478,0.0,0.0,0.08281725364558698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583929230738968,0.0,0.09426893221497493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04596663624350125,0.13635635603005086,0.09435013704087652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05907776490310593,0.1634501110008416,0.08382976295909554,0.0,0.0,0.07023696198438685,0.0,0.0,0.14221633912316928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847983480175644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887293622277166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889662411634562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907441213197947,0.11335394678092435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716450333885633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894967834359102,0.0,0.0,0.06651428967516114,0.2512162215148954,0.0,0.06665065653360057,0.0,0.0,0.09448996761002744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21260499502583535,0.0,0.4963356112620467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992721052371093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05359346077783293,0.0,0.06640122124491146,0.14631435988633168,0.0,0.0,0.07992209048548228,0.0,0.0,0.09097685558837436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20703653788691795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07520286222479901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11883163536401545,0.0,0.0,0.05386174539988972
bipolarreddit,a_throwaway_account3,2019/04/07,"Are we allowed to drink in moderate doses? Hello all,

I am wondering if we are allowed to drink. My doctor told me that I may use from time to time but he didn't tell a definitite amount. I am wondering about your experience with alcohol? I am on olanzapine, sertraline and lithium. Is it okay to drink one or two glasses of wine or beer once in a while (e.g one or two days a week)?",2.0756593406593424,3.932590705128206,4.18648351648352,84.89423076923079,77.84615384615384,8.046886446886448,26.52747252747253,8.841846274778883,2.0788549450549447,297,12,63,7,7,102,56,78,0.0,0.96,0.04,0.4386,2,0,6,0,0,0,11.0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,8,8,0,3,1,16,12,7,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,4,6,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,9,1,11,9,2,8,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,7,5,45,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20154069759126567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216221370946733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19302539454276152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5542263984043202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18447294357027572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20083755281375068,0.25558102184867104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164832162415506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199316075757841,0.0,0.0,0.1802016615622507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3684415372332613,0.0,0.0,0.16287744400399365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15127202583811938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4090261661128056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,zhongshiifu,2019/04/07,"Every spring/summer like clockwork Hey there, I have BP1 mainly characterized by hypomanic blips in the spring and summer and not much else (there was a big ugly manic episode at one point, hopefully never again..).

I’m just amazed by how reliably I get these symptoms in the spring/summer. This year I started having hypomanic symptoms the last week of March. That’s the EXACT same time I started getting hypomanic symptoms a couple years ago for my first big manic episode.

 It doesn’t happen every year in spring, summer ones are more spread out, but it’s very interesting how tightly it is associated with the change in the season.

Do any of you also notice the same thing?

",6.945241935483876,8.038396427419357,6.917903225806452,73.07185483870971,64.56451612903226,8.780645161290323,30.01612903225807,8.841846274778883,2.4743419354838703,543,18,90,8,8,173,85,124,0.018000000000000002,0.9,0.08199999999999999,0.7607,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,1,7,4,0,0,9,0,7,3,0,2,2,15,14,6,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,1,6,4,12,13,5,27,0,0,0,0,2,9,0,1,19,61,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987441800788942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13520888434295572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497651544740105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17885849218002925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18707781218050631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14124012038526348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.284905259564892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143814755420117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766689844758398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495120969207337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16792921204001912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378183526588822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260130182374098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428927376538168,0.0,0.1304007428799537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19249253536144065,0.0,0.0,0.22913862862816145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15983013232807852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23934372262224635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5271996931856129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232564136208738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09858875003195816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395042393451511,0.0,0.0,0.1356214334680684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3266354677610619
bipolarreddit,Sew_Knotty,2019/04/07,"Lacking the will to...well...do anything. I literally want to do nothing. 24/7. I force myself to get out of bed, put the coffee on, dress my self, get the kids off to school, and walk my 4 miles daily. I do these things because I am supposed to. I have no desire to do ANYTHING. I wish to sleep all day every day and do nothing else. All of the things that used to be bring me joy or I felt passionate about hold no appeal. 

So now I sit and watch the world pass me by and feel sorry for myself about it.  Then I feel guilt for being so pathetic. Yet none of it motivates me to get up off the couch and do anything at all. 

I was on a chemical cocktail of 4 pills (which took me about 2 years of trial and error to find) for Bipolar 1 and severe social anxiety but nothing seemed to make a dent in the suicidal ideation or crippling depression. I stopped taking everything 2 months ago. I am neither better nor worse. 

This is the longest depressive episode of my life and while I am glad no manic symptoms have presented themselves, I’m also almost hoping for them to arrive because this deep dark hole I’m in is suffocating me.

I have a great support system, a loving boyfriend, and everything I need in life. There is no excuse for being this pathetically lazy and self loathing. I’m sick of being sick of myself. 

Mmk. If you made it this far, thanks for reading. Rant over.",2.4904395604395617,4.5353079780219785,3.7970051282051287,87.28966153846157,77.27838827838828,6.419282051282053,24.839413919413925,7.404127859558343,1.1851829743589746,1070,38,214,14,25,350,157,273,0.213,0.665,0.122,-0.9808,1,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,1,2,9,12,0,1,12,0,20,10,1,4,3,36,43,20,1,7,4,0,3,0,0,1,7,0,2,3,12,11,1,2,6,2,0,5,7,3,0,0,4,4,28,9,40,34,6,33,0,2,1,2,8,15,0,6,11,145,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076149949117455,0.0,0.12156594170277138,0.0,0.0,0.09708463655100916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09287172037365836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29970896521807816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14801030404352253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736965152138182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15658768850968385,0.0,0.20912565456891752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141527178970826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228589530466577,0.0,0.21821545754178098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276836684912552,0.0,0.11656435926797885,0.0,0.11095865832111257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19028162495780235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13384544565886025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12057895896729215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17149876431206673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095694816942972,0.11487291736315383,0.0810363611979333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690142011138413,0.0,0.0,0.09001758205585463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3494636835453459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220419141963717,0.0,0.0,0.12143422896764652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286467385367145,0.0,0.11051925322195752,0.2532962237136058,0.1371489993873733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148905065303894,0.12375341442798225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358989011898352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149698635582342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13279340113742702,0.13776484284876545,0.0,0.1261825134530453,0.09127872618776868,0.0,0.0,0.11177007626022503,0.0,0.0,0.16130735964563708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348813957065446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485181018936336,0.0,0.0,0.0716056769843714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10915441677115292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13960559109523216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12371837378546545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817850586360453
bipolarreddit,Pickles_McBeef,2019/04/07,"Overanalyzing...or not 41/f, diagnosed 18 months ago, not sure if 1 or 2.

I broke up with my bf of nearly two years 2 months ago. When we first got together I was not diagnosed. We fought a lot and nearly broke up twice (due to my impulsivity) before I was diagnosed. I started meds and definitely felt better but we still fought a lot and I still felt impulses to break up, but never argued or acted on it. I also have GAD. Being on an SSRI is what lead to my diagnosis because it made me manic. I've tried Buspar but it didn't help at all, so I just do my best to cope with it. 

Ex-bf has ADD, anxiety, and depression and smokes large amounts of pot to cope. Hates pharmaceuticals and therapy. He was not supportive of me starting meds and thought pot was all I needed. Didn't like me going to therapy because I should be going to him, my partner, with my troubles.

He was intolerable when he wasn't high. Sweet as could be when he was, which was most of the time. When he'd run out and couldn't get any, I'd be on eggshells. 

He ran out and was incredibly irritable and said something very painful and I was crushed. I thought about it for about half an hour and then broke up with him. For a couple of weeks after the breakup I was sure it was impulsivity and I'd made a huge mistake because regardless of his flaws, I still love him.

Now that I'm two months out, my constant sky high anxiety while with him is now quite manageable. I'm eating better, exercising (which I quit when I was with him), reclaiming my social life, restarted therapy, and generally feel much better. I don't think I made a mistake because the thought of getting back together is not attractive at all.

But what all of this boils down to is, what part of all this is me, and what part is the disease? Was it sheer impulse that lead me to leave, or was I just unable to deal with his crap anymore? Is the energy I feel hypomania or is it just getting my life in order? And if it's the disease...how can anyone deal with this long term? It's exhausting. 

I want another relationship. Not right now, I've no interest in dating and want to get some debt paid down before I meet anyone, debt NOT incurred by impulse spending. But sometime down the road I do. I don't know how people deal with BP in their partner. I don't even know how to broach it with someone. I know my actions early in my relationship with my ex hurt him, and I feel deep regret for that. I know living with me was really hard on him and I fear doing that to another person. 

If you've read all this, thanks for ""listening."" I'm not sure if I'm looking at things objectively. I try, but I just don't know.",2.7803493894165534,4.39026398880597,4.439267299864317,84.93239484396202,75.15671641791045,7.783175033921302,25.614654002713703,8.507472789574589,1.6459417910447767,2062,72,437,39,44,694,228,536,0.16899999999999998,0.7490000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.9936,2,0,2,0,0,0,74.0,3,0,1,9,23,31,5,1,14,0,44,12,1,7,10,110,88,45,0,14,26,1,6,1,3,1,8,2,0,3,26,38,2,0,14,2,4,8,18,17,0,5,32,10,62,14,66,48,16,74,0,6,1,1,38,30,1,12,35,296,88,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075480674441092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05898008405096841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050154430146575515,0.15467247376895432,0.11284137363419874,0.0,0.07314295533703655,0.10313933914044146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0567113473816703,0.0,0.17983607876638044,0.0,0.12551639392980338,0.0,0.07739900886953202,0.1956850629376476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970057095835041,0.0,0.0588856060227124,0.08160606560801344,0.0,0.0,0.228107681583445,0.06352317483934761,0.22457260536200924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754675223758044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048713025960704696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299239962622564,0.1118748885425932,0.0,0.1416284996516518,0.0,0.0,0.06273409032007803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413116681229588,0.0,0.08383082682595333,0.0,0.0589868481432248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606801839470476,0.07281561663545408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049434944295240583,0.1558477558691717,0.0,0.0,0.07263164736538517,0.0,0.0789538931560969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026630384893559,0.0,0.0,0.07809356155127486,0.0,0.0,0.10418756142171268,0.03603189056664583,0.0,0.06512506979026657,0.06526890330262013,0.061933773246371414,0.0,0.0,0.125403978907023,0.06656477759336597,0.20936003559221245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16384545922300445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17660633358270206,0.0,0.054216790922718326,0.05468676347085799,0.0568827027361615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847817455137067,0.0,0.0,0.1597341811057921,0.0,0.05113090217441131,0.0643980964009041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15689035321174047,0.0737727542237154,0.0,0.047247929454324315,0.0,0.0,0.15836580267214473,0.0,0.06298448452355923,0.07015579790222405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751816872767687,0.06249050443413271,0.05677850534217991,0.07294340077151024,0.0,0.10440521675724647,0.0,0.1766972336767585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369379851589072,0.20853341127083733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790166525212891,0.2530282484047978,0.0,0.04899808027267407,0.047257813457826495,0.0,0.17565444448374598,0.043005848259317817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014661399824376,0.0,0.14409152933803307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06085378044517604,0.08700261951015811,0.0,0.05916004398623851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04749438233094557
bipolarreddit,MX5Throwaway,2019/04/07,"Why is it so hard to feel this way????!!! I feel like going to sleep forever.

I don't want to die or anything.  I just want to fall asleep, and not wake up for a long time.

Is this normal? I'm not sure I am bipolar. I might just have major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder.",0.5066585956416461,2.8130258644067823,3.09714285714286,87.86983050847458,86.96610169491525,7.439225181598062,21.987893462469735,8.418075326091056,1.6003588377723972,222,8,48,6,7,77,43,59,0.276,0.636,0.08800000000000001,-0.8467,0,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,6,4,3,0,1,15,12,4,1,3,5,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,3,5,2,6,11,1,6,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,29,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747375325382167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879668172079476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19673427348384026,0.0,0.2370596341658449,0.0,0.523568803592365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23098787672557636,0.1631803592206487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12981401553734856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046157742000656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159246732874896,0.0,0.0,0.20214087700752376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24231316564713046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22379907733518767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285808516964185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21527927546248773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13319114377155494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269451222861734,0.1813059035585129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20610981513535945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,april_ludgate4,2019/05/07,"my standards are too high I'm crying my eyes out. I just finished my junior year of college, and I just saw the final grades posted. The one thing I loved, strived for, and was passionate about was learning. Grades are a nice way to see if you are capable of understanding and doing well in the material. It reenforced my love for learning. Sort of like a reward. It was the only thing that this illness could not take away from me -- my love for learning and doing well in school. 

My standards are comparable to someone who does not suffer a chronic mental illness. My grades are not up to these standards.  

​

I'm just so stupid. I want to be able to do what ""normal"" people do. I feel worthless. I know I should be happy that I made it this far. I know I should be happy I get the privilege to further my education. I know they say employers don't always care about gpa. I think it's just the idea that bipolar will always limit me. I will always be consumed by this illness.",2.4889473684210515,4.805862590673577,3.656553040632669,86.93924461412601,78.53367875647669,5.721188982819744,24.665666757567486,6.8360192770164,0.9995658031088084,772,28,148,8,19,250,106,193,0.102,0.6890000000000001,0.209,0.97,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,1,2,10,16,1,0,9,0,22,10,1,1,0,34,40,6,0,6,8,0,1,1,0,4,5,1,0,0,15,5,0,1,10,0,0,0,4,3,2,1,5,5,26,13,21,26,0,13,0,2,3,4,7,8,0,2,4,110,41,11,0.1392143030629625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3475123571210489,0.15083863920559842,0.16916061598630436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13079642038227746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14193826011962152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115129302483608,0.0,0.1529203749146014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12182737475903165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703909345504141,0.0,0.0,0.1525024642641009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07273372749193395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963924285799406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470875545816409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571560029348762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22952562058455075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801307649049819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3769390314108105,0.1317279396192031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14029527393393862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13640045900642672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09433521464994504,0.10587875071613688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965136690283898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13332881994659332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107088014486474,0.0,0.14089230699664335,0.11093577540460296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179558272177592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10467183046956306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184975594067651,0.08920290417556209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14492699914463505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211220286475422,0.11050183387895404,0.0,0.0,0.2503407548385605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16916061598630436,0.08964944685233221
bipolarreddit,FartSmarterNotHarder,2019/05/07,"Memory problems getting worse? It’s hard to even write this post cuz it means I have to go back and think about what’s going on and that’s always a struggle. Cuz I get real frustrated when things don’t come to me quickly. I feel like when I have to recall off the top of my head I can’t remember shit but my recognition is okay - if someone prompts it things will def come back but damn I get so flustered when I have to spitball. And the anxiety of looking dumb probably doesn’t help. 

But I feel like it’s more noticeable recently, been on 250mg lamotrigine for a long time, was recently thinking of increasing cuz I’ve been in a slump. Not sure if it’s the meds doing this or my memory is just naturally shot lol would like to get in the habit of keeping my diary but habits are hard ya know. Anyway I feel like I’m just rambling and whining now so... please friends, tell me I’m not the only one??",2.749032258064513,4.257717559139788,4.091161290322585,87.81674193548388,75.0215053763441,7.755698924731183,25.84086021505377,8.447377352677275,1.6041402150537638,710,25,153,13,15,234,112,186,0.156,0.696,0.14800000000000002,0.5435,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,1,14,14,4,1,8,2,15,2,2,3,1,34,34,19,0,4,11,0,5,4,1,2,0,0,0,0,11,6,0,1,8,0,0,5,5,7,0,1,3,6,16,7,17,29,2,23,0,1,1,0,5,6,3,3,15,98,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11064954670936544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017289074983992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20450596181509292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22910002523916626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783166585667616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017152011076544,0.2850016151810255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10273958535216823,0.0,0.2779050751738878,0.0,0.15115056034920776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238246916549074,0.0,0.136475269847218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913331543980639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181982361677564,0.0,0.0,0.07308202242437048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598681490233728,0.0,0.0,0.11768261964123955,0.1116692377395426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14485359424657746,0.14771017959567134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15139797364191288,0.0,0.0,0.09011030997189423,0.10113685628289998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14597149197020284,0.0,0.0,0.12735754445629385,0.0,0.14337432754430335,0.12724336466316313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15135971544458116,0.0,0.0,0.26260230816963953,0.0,0.15063978254844793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365014840319169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267304784353585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901898345473004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253315483040603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11622989172798075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17669126190599094,0.1704157111526276,0.0,0.0,0.07754138076419917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355174099503786,0.09446477869723824,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,glych,2019/05/07,"Morning Mantra. Howdy. I don't post much but I'm an avid lurker. I see many posts on here focusing on the negative times in our lives when everything seems like it is falling apart. When we need the support the most to know it's going to be okay.

​

To you, it's going to be okay. Be good. Take your meds. Exercise. Take care of yourself. Eat right. Don't let the demons win. It's so much easier to say these things than to do them. But I'm telling you, you can do them.

​

I was diagnosed back in college and almost jumped off a bridge then. Since, it's been a journey of therapy and trying these meds versus those meds, getting health care, losing health care, getting it again. It's been a laundry list of jobs. It's been tough.

​

But, for the first time in years, I feel like myself again. I'm on a good cocktail of meds (Risperidone at night, Welbutrin and Lexipro in the morning), I have been going to the gym regularly. I have my sense of humor back. It's like feeling ""awake,"" for the first time in years. I still think about the past but I'm not haunted by it. I still plan for the future but I'm not paralyzed by it anymore. That balance that we're always seeking I feel like I've found.

​

It's going to be okay. Be good. Take your meds. Exercise. Take care of yourself. Eat right. Don't let the demons win.

​

That's my morning mantra.",0.6296465893976837,3.1290226895306863,1.6088514155424676,96.51127446323393,91.057761732852,4.359832794983849,20.285863575907282,6.05967700443912,0.036435379061371176,1083,36,228,10,38,337,131,277,0.039,0.71,0.251,0.9967,1,0,0,0,0,0,68.0,2,5,2,6,11,20,0,0,16,3,21,7,0,0,0,22,50,12,0,1,8,0,3,4,0,0,5,1,0,0,19,4,3,0,7,4,0,7,6,2,0,2,6,5,21,18,31,37,3,41,2,1,1,0,11,13,0,3,23,135,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06539424339325801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05433958908056448,0.3537935919663708,0.3967679784452553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06476572429178115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043213244015188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663341284416157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662839293059395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13364810663318222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058692568587790026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990616000288197,0.09330883627212833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109802109154117,0.0,0.0716043492406155,0.0,0.0,0.06823908473849295,0.0,0.14845897851252235,0.16432601407065234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388338492428092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648058484832136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035890314834708316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355904292968496,0.0,0.12762030078756528,0.0,0.057666145633353365,0.0,0.0,0.0730603941183022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06620974812451785,0.0,0.0,0.36269965404050747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601443410936107,0.04842336256503439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061284992606966016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06234169752500274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250896517496347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115414530494706,0.0,0.0519337282981203,0.0,0.0,0.05204020225145645,0.05945187314477113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0540215649518302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430646183852553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07410815511398063,0.0,0.0,0.1964070907802105,0.0,0.05708007617931249,0.0,0.07468278021993582,0.0,0.04338621734853109,0.04184526729797328,0.0,0.0,0.1142408683842226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044338295882894216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3967679784452553,0.08410948278697457
bipolarreddit,GrizzlebeesDelivers,2019/05/07,"How do you keep away from being a toxic coworker? I work in a warehouse where the hardest working of us are underpaid, and everyone is just generally unhappy. A lot of my coworkers are extremely toxic to be around, and I often find myself joining in. Some days, everyone is in a good except me. I try to stay positive, but on days where I couldn't care less about anything, it is very difficult to maintain a positive attitude. I was just wondering how some of you keep in a positive head space when so many people around are leeches?",6.6026470588235275,6.842855735294119,7.814509803921567,69.31529411764707,65.17647058823529,12.290196078431373,37.588235294117645,11.855464076750405,4.9212235294117646,423,21,74,14,6,145,69,102,0.085,0.78,0.135,0.7490000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,2,0,2,12,3,0,0,7,0,11,1,1,2,0,20,15,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,11,2,17,11,4,15,0,0,0,0,3,11,0,5,3,63,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16110932606345446,0.34856939824034355,0.0,0.0,0.18394069015048267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996096028381791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525223456089085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3741501945891659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17893833756369654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16421002493647455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20092559970037388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3480345048904403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16644419156665505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984890423841876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357284154883702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20867422296696356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292099940013974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354978713308461,0.0,0.0,0.16153806885954886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123138298454312,0.2850586937166684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Grimm-Bones,2019/05/07,"I can really use some encouragement right now. My doctor recently decided that she thought I was stable enough to start treating my adhd on top of my Bp1.  She warned me that the medicine could cause me to have a bad reaction and potentially lead to another psychotic episode or something.  She started me on a low dose of vyvance but I didn't feel like it was doing anything and I've gradually gone up to the maximum dose.  I've been pretty messed up for about a week now though. I also have pretty bad social anxiety and I think the meds are making me manic or mixed manic.  I've been very disconnected from other people., paranoid and socially withdrawn. I havnt left my appartment sense Saturday.  Im having a hard time reading people intentions when they say and do things and get confused trying to process how to interperate them and respond or if I even should respond. At work Saturday a coworker said something under his breath that  I couldnt tell how to or if I should respond to it. I ended up screaming at him to leave me alone because I was just trying to do my job.  I don't really talk to people at work much and try to keep my head down and distance myself from drama so it's not like me to yell like that and everyone could tell something was up and started saying things to try and help but I just ended up crying, shaking and hyperventilating.  I've slept for most of the day Sunday and Monday. I don't feel as though I'm having a psychotic episode yet but I feel kind of how I did before having my last one.  I know I'm not right and I have to call the doctor but I'm afraid because I don't want to get admitted again. She's a new doctor and I don't know how she is about this sort of thing. My last Dr seemed like he wanted to try and have me admitted ""for observation"" all the time, even when he wanted to try me on new medicine. That's bullshit though because hospitals are safe places where they remove the stress of the outside world.  How can they observe if a medicine is working or not if there aren't any factors at play that would cause an episode. I don't know what to do. I won't go in for an unscheduled appointment. The last time I went to an unscheduled appointment for issues I ended up being admitted against my will",3.761345847916005,5.333669251670379,4.813588291441299,83.4006369710468,72.51893095768374,7.982208081450842,27.30518612790328,8.591530228387361,1.9557723321667204,1790,65,353,32,35,586,205,449,0.126,0.81,0.064,-0.9768,1,1,3,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,4,5,24,18,0,4,20,0,40,9,3,11,1,75,71,43,0,13,18,0,4,4,0,5,6,5,0,0,15,17,0,2,13,3,0,6,12,9,0,1,13,9,53,9,53,49,5,57,0,1,0,0,30,24,0,14,31,242,68,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951828463755771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202717428980398,0.0,0.06333610310158175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05385862380290096,0.08304796359006154,0.060587679634735714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06517474029493517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13225715751062714,0.14483850704954146,0.0,0.06739325142370872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08087191682603792,0.0,0.0,0.1627201550893159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646929465311255,0.0,0.08699733231721299,0.05107736062171318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24319325219226645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104427167947298,0.08183463158375867,0.0,0.10462152722505527,0.0,0.0,0.07567886465506046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12013749368496035,0.0565803990907302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275732079285142,0.0,0.04501110821028278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07094752223730534,0.0,0.08128191023478226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05308599977576495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554944452636118,0.08266408186516906,0.0785936448698136,0.07039647866498074,0.0,0.08247447137097343,0.1305785229761562,0.1936753809273159,0.0,0.08386122104720962,0.08605088461689815,0.0,0.0,0.15477221320348528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05286652461342475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797319523236444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058221013329698826,0.0,0.0,0.15298344550067566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05366787795740135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16472164174928292,0.0,0.08274700166868029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16114947031446958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922129720200306,0.0,0.10147492257451984,0.0,0.07820031154357295,0.0,0.0,0.13527250324488566,0.07533720781525467,0.12596582234966378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210058218735703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16146857615860294,0.0,0.1829157753589351,0.0,0.0,0.16817421539698646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072317730384892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06365785112298916,0.13844834506073372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15785061248375967,0.05074807528137239,0.2334403945313544,0.06287584577679678,0.1385462338593468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32262905546145604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840325407256177,0.0,0.06534818277074672,0.140142396405569,0.0,0.06352935411500131,0.0,0.0,0.07341906794799173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729753340704805,0.0,0.0,0.05626131145234743,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,psyke123,2019/05/07,is this real life? How you guys cope with not knowing if what you feel or think is real or not? How to distinguish which is valid or not? Is there any coping mechanism? some kind of mental test which allow me to validate my thoughts. On top of that i feel like no one truly understands how powerless it makes us feel... it truly is a lonely road,1.8607453416149085,4.120485260869569,3.3035610766045562,88.93434782608698,80.44927536231884,6.8414078674948255,20.002070393374744,7.957251820313856,0.8845635610766047,269,7,55,5,7,88,50,69,0.09699999999999999,0.713,0.19,0.7622,1,2,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,2,0,1,4,3,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,5,0,24,13,7,0,1,7,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,1,0,0,8,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,3,6,2,6,12,1,3,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,5,1,39,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16467991383208067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3673363838712823,0.1730021041930951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397805635397777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25217667811977684,0.13308707373541376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17104768798249176,0.11830916264786515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16164643845711166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24404448731114245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16409668301066832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5512715970823172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15516899754186084,0.0,0.19225127070707607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521014016512702,0.2912936337539399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tigerdreaming,2019/05/07,"How can you stop yourself from oversharing and talking? Went to group therapy today and acted like a complete ass (again), it was unintentional of course but totally monopolising the conversation and interrupting people and WAY oversharing. Lucky it’s a ‘safe space’ but supposed to start a depression based group next week and we’re so not depressed right now I really don’t want our presence to cause someone harm more sadness or for them to stop coming because we are like this.
OMG I hate it!!!! But short of cutting out our tongue I am at a complete loss as how to get us to STFU. We’re embarrassing everyone in range. WHY can’t we just stop freaking talking??!!! Augghhhhhh!!!! 
Think we’ll just have to not go anymore :-( it’s not fair on everyone else.",4.555404761904762,6.820505921428571,5.48,76.55333333333336,71.92857142857143,8.666666666666666,30.95238095238095,9.2995712137729,2.9894523809523808,599,27,108,14,12,196,99,140,0.276,0.624,0.1,-0.985,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,6,1,1,1,7,13,2,1,5,0,8,1,1,3,1,29,16,13,0,1,9,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,9,0,4,1,0,0,4,5,9,0,0,2,1,11,4,16,13,2,21,0,4,0,1,13,7,1,2,11,65,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16174121953191598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941800465089932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16753810984047854,0.0,0.140487388273957,0.34199302330057346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28093794459663346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13624056821742175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3116785116686441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520766891775676,0.0,0.0926876696649752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16101737455532214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593548386289735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734478111930494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306590546347273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447947714290393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927776491239469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13818542537374506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543577235838318,0.0,0.0,0.4090510289854561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621707445595337,0.0,0.0,0.18650735528544607,0.0,0.0,0.10450133366719846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545900239823112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19617690194743345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09619456663462718,0.129453061195125,0.13082076896954234,0.0,0.0,0.15118584250985434,0.147163142445732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,englishsunrise,2019/07/23,"We're all in this together. <3 I'm rapid cycling bipolar and autistic. I have an incredibly painful auto-immune disease as well.  I'm a wreck as we speak.  


I just need an internet hug. I'm new here.   


I plan to post more in the coming future.  


You guys seem really lovely and I can't wait to stop being just a lurker.  


Much love everyone. We're all in this together.",-0.18570909090908927,2.1247640533333367,2.6450909090909107,88.24254545454548,95.13333333333333,5.927272727272728,20.151515151515152,7.348242739294969,1.0135333333333336,284,10,58,6,11,99,53,75,0.08,0.7190000000000001,0.201,0.8515,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,1,0,1,4,5,0,0,5,0,3,5,0,0,2,12,12,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,1,6,4,7,11,4,8,0,0,0,3,6,3,0,1,3,33,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24159598763697365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26799657526898074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27770470235924904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5062616949889714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20617423704975765,0.20796143673269613,0.0,0.2708750960648055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984348112054455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686081915863352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796732274566294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553250394173203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344815159942757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521719515123556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,clairentine,2019/07/23,"Seeking to better understand Bipolar Disorder Hi there. I am new to this subreddit. I have a loved one (25M) that was diagnosed with BPD in his teens. He is a brilliant and beautiful human being who deeply struggles with his mental health. We dated off and on for about 2-3 years. He does not take any medication, but ""copes"" with hard drugs and self-destructive tendencies, living on the streets and whatnot. I am certain he struggles with depression as well, though he has not been diagnosed. 

He will totally commit himself to his mental health, then hit the proverbial ""self-destruct"" button very quickly. I have had no choice but to distance myself from him recently, which saddens me but is necessary for my own mental health at this point. 

I guess I am looking to simply better understand-- For those of you who have BPD, what do you wish your loved ones better understood about you?

I would love to learn as much as I can about BPD and how to be there for a loved one while also being there for myself. I want to be an ally for those who struggle with their mental health in any form. 

I am new to all of this, please forgive me if anything I've written comes off as naive. Thanks, much love to you all. 💗",5.2608279220779215,6.458335502164504,5.314218073593075,82.6770413961039,68.43722943722943,8.372402597402598,29.156114718614717,8.660442795831766,2.170551731601732,955,34,179,15,16,299,137,231,0.096,0.675,0.22899999999999998,0.9902,0,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,1,5,1,3,11,16,0,3,6,0,21,14,0,1,5,33,38,18,0,4,6,0,1,0,0,2,9,0,0,1,11,12,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,4,1,3,5,2,27,12,38,26,7,18,0,1,1,5,28,9,0,2,8,135,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992374679499289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892101310624438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195362225717128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23199412161891705,0.0,0.0,0.330373456590132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07531967438347424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753098010040505,0.17749446836839675,0.0,0.0,0.10021096403852728,0.0,0.07651715602475892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013997544035839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632227731384728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832683631793527,0.0,0.0,0.3717679461812239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772089250684286,0.0,0.07342548842072517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3945788420614429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08808409449618887,0.3524657864908524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285532640896594,0.0,0.0,0.16889538798839815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17774976319426544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598013123733183,0.08265671118749253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633399460797891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824327889590677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274226016937386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06574212732793798,0.0,0.0,0.08050071349415566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590691164329001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18205106738422985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214510463717648,0.05157291003410766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861682415477801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054882368313156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06211309985457455,0.0,0.0,0.0563068910078824
bipolarreddit,watkinobe,2019/07/23,"No sense of wellbeing Bipolar 2 here. I'm struggling with no sense of wellbeing. Every commitment I make stresses me out. I feel like I want to simply sit in my house and ask everyone to leave me alone - except then I'll get painfully lonely. I constantly think about dying, whether from some kind of terminal illness or whatever. I can't remember the last time I felt that ""life is good"" in spite of having a great job and loving family. I got some relief after trying Prozac, but the sexual side-effects made it unacceptable. My doc switched me to Lexapro, but apparently, it's not doing the job. I dread trying yet another antidepressant not knowing what the side-effects will be. Anyone else get through this? How?",4.8365823650034185,6.9956985639097775,5.538988380041012,76.88603554340399,70.8796992481203,9.046889952153112,30.13602187286397,9.573946990214177,3.1144195488721795,571,24,98,14,11,185,99,133,0.18899999999999997,0.711,0.099,-0.885,3,3,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,4,12,1,3,5,0,6,6,0,3,1,24,19,8,1,1,7,0,2,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,6,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,3,2,13,6,16,14,2,10,0,1,0,1,2,3,0,3,7,61,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17638993913649292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17858502831398276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190848077350546,0.17450286173117124,0.0,0.0,0.1592169879655607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840447543691448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17675503375757745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14227226578792407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14349363588273675,0.1627386344342754,0.0,0.0,0.1605532399990855,0.0,0.08611392254080945,0.12166959593990215,0.16352443976643669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17796003463653107,0.0,0.0,0.14284806264993985,0.1362125747280161,0.1877675273480159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19651503188191294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3380130634787637,0.0,0.0,0.1773517997102177,0.09359799732920268,0.13882549268900327,0.0,0.18033384429613314,0.0,0.0,0.12029508646932895,0.08320493026655593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15371154804160458,0.16115156960594354,0.1136833389624518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18122199358137234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19292818530347006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950896865757853,0.1780451335425174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091278590013323,0.0,0.0,0.0993092105131725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23125880721532305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045333141707916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheViciousUnicorn,2019/07/23,"Why am I so angry Over the past week I have been irrationally angry for absolutely no reason. Everything is irritating me to the point I seriously feel like I can't leave my room with going into a rage. I take 50 seroquel morning/evening, 200 of lamictal in the morning and 1 of ativan in the morning.  This combination was working great until this past week when this anger started. Has anyone else had this experience?",5.419615384615383,7.327223012820514,6.726153846153848,69.99384615384618,68.87179487179488,9.302564102564103,32.230769230769226,9.725611199111238,3.429753846153848,337,15,56,8,6,114,61,78,0.285,0.63,0.084,-0.9612,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,2,0,5,0,8,0,0,1,0,5,12,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,3,1,7,2,10,9,0,14,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,8,38,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16177241014004626,0.2370558348752065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932717344080042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15281121016583835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20793160245721576,0.2263146406338948,0.0,0.0,0.11698265346352164,0.16528375155758512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13148731621404947,0.0,0.0,0.2550754040154864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24497701408319705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130308925274687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4417189221114971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187101427090796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378767875715523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637579190129898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17395405458701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3711663456215544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20876656750306866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684329591257078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mikasarei,2019/07/23,"i’m tired all day after i wake up even after a good night sleep. why? :( I drink 25mg of quietiapine (seroquel) at night
and 100mg of lamotrigine in the morning

1. I’m hydrated
2. i slept a full 8 hours without interruption
3. I eat healthy

Why? :(",-0.8801470588235283,1.2327989019607877,2.3982107843137257,89.22319852941177,99.19607843137257,5.6872549019607845,22.061274509803926,7.1686216300943375,1.0501156862745091,188,8,42,4,8,67,39,51,0.172,0.682,0.146,-0.3291,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,6,3,0,1,3,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,8,2,2,10,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,6,19,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16899451525970835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567000377285049,0.0,0.268132962363091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17307535142695454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197872310904525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580572166184691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4918147224100232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26222985242167085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30117713326533146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4729017851187751,0.0,0.0,0.25259779693236384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,japhyraps,2019/07/23,Anyone just feel antsy and uncomfortable all the time? Trouble reading and focusing Just hard for me to sit still and focus on anything got rushing thoughts.  I’m on a buncha medicines but just feel so uncomfortable all the time it’s unbelievable. Like I just wanna shake,5.938061224489798,8.303235816326534,5.5630102040816345,76.99716836734696,68.38775510204081,8.16530612244898,32.65816326530612,8.841846274778883,2.9305469387755108,221,10,37,4,4,68,37,49,0.192,0.7070000000000001,0.10099999999999999,-0.431,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,14,5,5,0,1,5,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,3,2,1,5,3,2,8,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,23,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25535115372923,0.0,0.30052238944109144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3693046979068569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29207787937662505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3271408341819949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784146554344306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3652914215236075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29164327828192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28992212819666474,0.4258934781487296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,suckonmyusername,2019/01/24,"Diagnosed Borderline but having my diagnosis looked into. Recent letter mentions the word euthymic over and over after psych said it could of been Bipolar I didn’t know how to write the title to explain my situation so here it goes..

I’ve had mental health issues since 14, been in the system since 17. I’m now 32. 

Nan has Schizophrenia on my mother’s side. 

I’ve had two psychotic episodes and my clinical notes state psychotic disorder and borderline personality disorder. 

After being out of the system for several years. I seeked help again after some warning symptoms under a new team. 

Under the new team, I requested that I had my diagnosis looked into again.

I’ve met with this new team a few times now but the most recent letter from the minutes of that meeting mention the word euthymic three times. 

The psych also stated during that meeting that my previous psychosis ‘could of been bipolar’. 

I’ve researched the word euthymic and I can only find a correlation to Bipolar and no results on euthymia with Borderline. 

I’m here because I’d like some insight into what they may mean by this ‘euthymic state’. Well, it says euthymic then later on in the mental state part it says ‘euthymic reactive state’. 

Please help shed some light on this, I’m clueless. 

Thanks and love to you all 

TLDR : Psych letter mentions I’m in a euthymic state 3 times but my diagnosis is Borderline however recent psych said my psychosis ‘could of been bipolar’


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bipolarreddit,jruffo,2019/01/24,"Improving Physique and Body Confidence causing onset of some mania symptoms? Hey guys, I’m a 22 yo male in college and I have been lifting 6 days a week for a while now. I would say I’m pretty built and over the last few weeks I have definitely been becoming more defined (guess that happens when the holiday season and all the food that comes with it finishes haha). My body confidence is definitely improving and my attitude in general has become better because of it. The issue is the last time I really looked good it caused me to almost have too much confidence and for someone with bipolar I feel this could be an issue. The last time I crashed there were a lot more factors involved and I have learned a lot since. I do not drink alcohol anymore and I have cut back my marijuana usage substantially. I am currently eating a normal amount of food and getting enough sleep everyday. But I’m noticing some possible signs of some type of mania coming if I’m not careful. This means I will probably have to up my meds dealing with the mania, but these meds often cause weight gain, so taking more may take away a lot of what I have worked for exercise-wise. I feel like I’m stuck in that I have to make a choice between my mental and physical health (along with my body confidence). I will obviously choose mental health if push comes to shove because I do not want to experience the same crash that I did last time, but it just feels unfair. 

Has anyone had some type of experience with this? I have an appointment with my psychiatrist coming up and I’m wondering what is best to say to her. It’s just a really frustrating scenario I haven’t seen talked about before. Thank you for reading!",4.934433333333331,6.4744693292307725,5.630326923076925,78.81513141025643,69.55384615384615,9.232051282051284,29.541666666666664,9.621722640351123,2.7946743589743583,1352,52,250,31,24,439,176,325,0.057999999999999996,0.82,0.122,0.9577,1,0,2,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,4,11,9,2,0,19,1,29,14,4,4,2,63,56,19,0,6,10,0,4,1,0,4,5,2,0,2,15,22,6,0,7,3,0,5,4,2,0,0,7,8,29,7,34,43,17,30,0,0,2,0,10,7,0,14,19,171,44,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09192886429587276,0.08613627147640428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530839597630333,0.06014695156617325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808183092015247,0.06614381462291674,0.0,0.10487358179291224,0.1900039290421928,0.0731964013864467,0.0,0.0902723340394215,0.07607740558112118,0.0,0.2866453765077309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770278391677097,0.2650976811617151,0.0,0.2963933073643351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867970500703137,0.0,0.0,0.055475569301764685,0.08868250007167157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426652611114957,0.0,0.08801959467620407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08888131102411133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16828748137137553,0.0,0.0,0.13048238545488094,0.061452467642679615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20803064674979027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04494172593288371,0.0,0.0,0.072149215915461,0.0,0.0,0.09476036168373228,0.08517299480834742,0.07606690787744079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18286976816258574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795643684974779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28047003958701194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04202486451457063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07223485608507678,0.0,0.0,0.2193925356237407,0.0,0.0,0.05741879600350274,0.0,0.0,0.09370063542667544,0.1910969176718206,0.0,0.1733751855772039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06323435315523437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428101043585569,0.0,0.0979339615723307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697425040287948,0.0,0.08751292646641436,0.09274375043745896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604294563406142,0.0,0.11021280330763432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13681258433001164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115635785077053,0.0,0.08608178986550992,0.0,0.07288418512023884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940737086494978,0.12935216934614138,0.06913935036168585,0.0,0.07919535271834836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150476279596471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05073662857856937,0.0,0.1379995772688732,0.10474878116995456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328466003998484,0.06262334242230194,0.0,0.0,0.06110590376034551,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CamembertFiend,2019/01/24,"Does anyone get voices in your head that seems like running commentary in various voices? Sorry if I'm not describing it too well.... 

Usually when I get auditory hallucinations they don't sound like they're coming from insidemy head, it might sound as though it's across the room. But recently I've been hypomanic and maybe even going towards manic the past few nights I've definitely been hearing things on and off but tonight I can't control what seems like this constant running commentary. I've been laying trying to sleep for nearly 4 hours so far and keep getting interrupted with multiple random conversation tid bits or shouting in various voices etc. I feel like my brain is going a million miles a minute!

Anyway I just want to know if anyone else knows what I'm talking about? I hope it makes sense.",7.56453333333333,8.21690558666667,7.587333333333337,70.35033333333337,63.13333333333333,10.666666666666668,34.0,10.504223727775694,3.696800000000001,658,26,110,15,9,212,107,150,0.027000000000000003,0.851,0.122,0.9161,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,1,1,9,6,0,0,4,0,7,4,4,2,0,24,25,12,0,4,7,0,1,4,0,1,0,7,1,0,9,5,0,2,5,0,0,5,3,0,1,1,3,8,8,6,15,21,5,24,0,0,0,0,5,11,0,8,12,65,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20771675017903415,0.1521905607656714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16216057793649916,0.0,0.0,0.1658129852443363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12794882570399468,0.0,0.1605124070490646,0.1665934288181118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998304015139656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12408103624697775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16565459136914634,0.09810525768607514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510321625216257,0.10611266686704827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328085384662836,0.0,0.1688305069455373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30487732153426433,0.0,0.16740853043544074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14752770380842914,0.1462759978551366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13202377871551998,0.0,0.0,0.16326072316246312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902646952631322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914754941419328,0.0,0.14922229362225978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15757102353872135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139389028183497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14179243993792906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146659333286358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27043941653005105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14864119606116774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16627157021701747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11938594386465876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09867934082254136,0.0,0.14593382877166888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10084478616264833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16358913547416512,0.0,0.08760915831109391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354983825299574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Peanutbutter_cheese,2019/01/24,"Motivation to take medication Hey guys! I'm really struggling to take my medication lately, family or friends can't really understand why it's so hard to do and to be honest I'm not really sure. What do you guys do to keep yourself taking it consistently? ",4.59234693877551,6.623278387755103,7.4895408163265325,63.18492346938777,71.24489795918367,12.246938775510205,28.5765306122449,11.698219412168324,4.50911836734694,207,8,35,9,4,76,35,49,0.129,0.706,0.165,0.4504,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,1,1,4,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,1,1,7,12,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,3,5,11,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,19,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18857143244363944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15454346091439405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3961242943514416,0.0,0.0,0.17918849345881493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17779675116195584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22564369024612402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4030203933269761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3844349582602573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20911584139892048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18852685817521905,0.0,0.4511952725188783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082393342476906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18049687227470887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bottomlessteacup,2019/01/24,"Help! Overwhelming lust, and no idea if this is just soooo hot or if feelings are due to barely sleeping for weeks and brain being a mess We have been talking just over a week.

He wants to get me and basically have me live with him and be his domestic helper, which i love since that is my pesonalirt anyway. But i am also usually frigid have ptsd and dont feel things for people easily

But omg he is soooo hot and i feel the most ovrrpowering lust. My bidy hurts so much.

We have nothing in common, he almost exclusively talks about sex, is smart, a lawyer, but might be a sex addict but i kind of dont mind at all

Then this other guy has entered my life who i hace tons more in common with

He hasnt sent a picture yet but if i was thinking rationally he would be someone i have real longterm potential with

But the other guy is so sexually forward and hotnand i cant resist him for some reason, he is like a vampire amd l want him to drink my blood .. Not really but kind of if you get what i mean

I am somewhere with mold which means i have had insomnia for nearly a month

I should leave but i was helping a family with nine kids and they basically want my help so much and make me feel pressured so i cant go

The lawyer guy will pick me up and make me his and he is so hot and i need him so badly and i never have flings or do amythig like this but i cant control my desire help :(

The family here is not down for me to leave until end of month. And that is to go to another over protective family to see if xan sleep there.. But then they want me to come back. They sont believe me about the mold causing insomnnia but this happened to me in the past

This phone doesnt work well so sorry for all the typos

Im just so full of burning desire and i already felt this way for another stranger a few weeks ago and poof it just faded practically overnight and i cant tell what is lust and what is genuine and maybe this is all just lust but is still genuine lust and i just sont hink i can resist it

He sent me a pic of his ex wife giving him a blowjob which i thought was kind of awful since that pic was meant to be private im sure

But im probably a masochist and like how dominant and narcissistic he is in an awful primal way

Sorry if i offend anyone

Help the lust is killing me and he says he is not picking me up sunday and i dont know how to handle this at all ",1.9829084687767349,3.501267249501001,3.5707256914741947,90.70833832335329,77.10379241516966,6.767436555460508,22.3078129455375,7.536579438409214,0.6964232107214143,1856,52,419,25,42,616,224,501,0.10300000000000001,0.813,0.084,-0.9112,2,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,2,1,3,2,26,18,2,2,21,2,53,17,4,9,6,104,82,59,1,15,30,2,8,3,0,4,3,1,0,4,23,32,1,2,13,1,0,7,14,7,1,1,11,10,56,11,44,62,12,43,0,2,1,9,47,14,0,12,25,286,79,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593051322769595,0.0,0.0,0.06987330416404472,0.0,0.07893150975430825,0.0,0.08698497126637372,0.06303605129515279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16530905554529965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055116034312418696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060611297187690275,0.0658152977269515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880839785570256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799438828399167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097463800791664,0.0,0.06790046408541245,0.0,0.0,0.08840855762521273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771457397520524,0.07721815692389114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06981525144401994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229266197695188,0.0,0.15942446395331686,0.0,0.0756840339629057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236526188200734,0.07561579545926729,0.08959574040873379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23414641550953386,0.06970438559966008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641725367562137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438342771161275,0.08898344540018302,0.2554324741823683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720780629911337,0.24625125733784475,0.043319971123835,0.0,0.0,0.16692786492176953,0.0,0.0,0.05567618774856704,0.11552924034785902,0.0,0.0696036180001382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114233223540073,0.0,0.10523214388430144,0.0,0.07918996468386331,0.17172632370537466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362050660351306,0.07959043516950925,0.0,0.1258341815083175,0.0,0.1158903880404671,0.058447485838370734,0.06079443637932101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563438618901468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524705617745865,0.05464709357566115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498631432300545,0.0,0.09214180814089716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971971881534338,0.05049709495325222,0.08104487764366977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06268453259852677,0.0,0.0,0.06281304773151476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13040914489356994,0.0,0.15776317038053075,0.0,0.06678787774472973,0.0,0.0,0.17647550448121455,0.0,0.0,0.06294947447081993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429130822229282,0.0,0.0,0.12671255010091492,0.0688962262722434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0523676008797004,0.05050765866406731,0.0,0.06257797441777399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681422558519368,0.0,0.18597130453444785,0.12513469059992094,0.18968516037298497,0.0,0.070872834869848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05738529052313762,0.0,0.0,0.055994776138258665,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Arrisha,2019/01/24,"Is my therapist at fault or am I being paranoid? F25. I've been seeing my M66 psychiatrist for the past 2 years and everything has been great. He's always been a very good professional and never made me feel uncomfortable. Considering that I've known how he approaches therapy for 2 years now, I find it very strange that he has suddenly changed our boundaries - and without asking me. 

First thing, is that one day instead of a good bye handshake he said ""I'm going to hug you today"", and he did so. I didn't mind (goodbye hugging is very common in my culture) but I don't like that he didn't ask first if that was ok instead of just announcing it and going for it. 

He proceeded with doing this again after every session since then. Then last time he kissed me on the cheek (also common and non-sexual way to say goodbye in my culture) but still strange as he's never done it before. He also called me once to check on me and ask how I was feeling (I had just lost my dad so maybe that's fine) but he's also never done that before all these years. 

Today I cancelled our next appointment because something came up, and he said ok but I have to pay for it anyway, which I know some therapists do but 1) mine never does and 2) I cancelled way earlier than the timespan that would require me to pay. 

What is going on here? Is this an approach I'm not aware of, is something wrong?

​

TL;DR: My therapist of two years suddenly crossed some boundaries, which he's never done before and I'm troubled. ",3.5340656565656587,5.248518774410776,4.572276936026935,84.32285984848488,73.37710437710437,7.23956228956229,27.189814814814817,7.937092434478242,1.7018441077441069,1184,44,229,17,24,386,155,297,0.111,0.8240000000000001,0.065,-0.8993,0,0,2,0,0,0,39.0,2,1,0,4,16,14,0,0,6,2,27,4,1,3,6,42,45,27,0,2,11,1,2,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,20,12,0,1,5,0,3,7,10,4,0,4,17,6,26,10,25,26,3,45,0,1,1,3,27,7,0,4,31,152,46,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174707838626881,0.07542544918778613,0.09821583506735873,0.11014585683816637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25422773335457394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05525748457496296,0.0,0.2314014045143099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256057910830197,0.1036758593773574,0.0,0.0,0.09589235866145436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584597257492873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932567814877405,0.27828962945886593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637388921749462,0.0,0.08146755293190787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166755221939336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828495879426685,0.15420834582094306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15455009869045785,0.15206057111377114,0.0,0.0999384832930108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049817143701352734,0.0738892894724512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044285477104506345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895175579766156,0.0,0.0,0.08577225079422786,0.0,0.0,0.09106695475589748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915274882053438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3495622336282005,0.0,0.09640396410303853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653594763353396,0.06142465837598859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653268488985012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17245184379102838,0.0720860214653922,0.0,0.0,0.07223381142650641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498401940945684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395687630494082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07239069958456272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366258449856597,0.3157439736137781,0.06022174601320857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05285691309827889,0.0,0.17184524866781142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854881083258663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22437945871667608,0.0,0.143902516597262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738033841421866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643929286432489,0.09910811155791184,0.11014585683816637,0.2334944237710095
bipolarreddit,bunnywithbpd,2019/01/24,"What are red flags when seeing a psychiatrist? I am meeting with one and she prescribed me abilify
..during the appointment she told me the side effects were sleepiness (that's it) I went home and read up on how it can cause permanent tardive dyskinesia...is that a red flag if she doesnt tell me that?!? Hello I would never take this sh*t if she told me.. now I have to go back another appointment to get a different medication when I couldve done it the first time if she asked me.  
I feel like I should switch. 
What are signs that the psychiatrist is really bad for you guys??",3.7294591937069828,5.414125053097352,4.761533923303833,83.28757128810228,72.80530973451326,8.916027531956734,25.829891838741396,9.444778638647367,2.1383596853490654,453,15,93,11,9,148,77,113,0.048,0.9279999999999999,0.024,-0.5492,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,2,5,2,0,0,7,0,11,1,0,3,1,14,20,8,0,5,3,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,1,1,10,3,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,1,0,2,5,4,18,1,6,13,0,12,0,0,3,0,13,3,0,3,8,65,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22579190479118666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20130414809831296,0.0,0.0,0.16557520335143447,0.17979125691750375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22120285782618976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22497364552797672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22035698483249005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887713703157988,0.15383153941742586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18315928365989464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250085064981273,0.0,0.12237679793966925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21321019986284126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159931880392801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051991864618841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21692196069602854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16607549472124253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14591293833426086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153879134660636,0.0,0.13794568262827914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715898460160516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619010928348851,0.0,0.18820759832689946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556044600588995,0.0,0.0,0.4115134017553542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19961273562106288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15296399971444882,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sa7abi,2019/01/24,"FDA approves Generic Latuda ! GoodRx mentions Lupin, but the FDA site lists several other pharmaceutical companies. Hopefully these work just as good as the brand name latuda, and are significantly lower in cost.

https://www.goodrx.com/blog/fda-approves-generic-latuda-lurasidone-schizophrenia-bipolar-depression/

https://www.fda.gov/Drugs/DevelopmentApprovalProcess/HowDrugsareDevelopedandApproved/DrugandBiologicApprovalReports/ANDAGenericDrugApprovals/",38.792142857142856,50.53602585714286,23.559642857142855,-58.26339285714278,4.7142857142857215,11.5,37.32142857142857,10.686352973137794,6.201714285714287,415,10,21,7,4,106,31,35,0.065,0.715,0.22,0.7745,1,0,4,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,11,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4183774774295205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4074257230810085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4824613296518178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5487614851841379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3536332341858263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,adltchickadee,2019/01/24,"A sense of place Hi guys....this is a post I've been thinking of making for a while, but I have a hard time wording it. It's one of the big things I struggle with and I think it contributes to my anxiety and depression, but I don't know how to express it to others.

Here it is: I grew up in a rural area, and I hated it. When I went away to college at age 18, I moved to a suburb outside of a major city, met great new people from all over the world, explored the city even though the college is about a 30 min drive/subway ride from it. Basically.....I had fun, felt comfortable with the people around me, explored new places, and felt proud of where I was even though, to others, it was a bland suburb.

Ever since finishing college, I have been searching for that feeling again: that feeling of just being in the right spot, where I need to be. 

It's been almost 15 years since I left that area. Since then, I've lived in 3 different places, two suburbs of major cities and downtown in a mid-size city.

Everywhere I go, I long for that feeling of knowing that where I am is a perfect fit....that feeling I only had for the six years (Bachelors and Masters at the same college) I lived in that suburb, at my college.

I now live in a suburb of another major city...basically the same distance (about 30 min) away from the city, but with good public transportation so I can go to the city anytime I want...just like the suburb where I went to college. I have met a few great friends here. It is basically the same situation (suburb of a large city, good friends, good public transit to put me in the city when I want to go there).......but I almost hate it here. 

It doesn't make any sense! My husband is obsessed with buying a house here (which is a crazy fantasy bc there's no way we can afford a downpayment anytime soon, but that's a whole other issue), and I almost get panic attacks thinking about staying here for the rest of my life.

And yet, every time we move, I'm dissatisfied there, too. My husband says that if it were up to me, we'd just keep moving from place to place for the rest of our lives because whenever we end up somewhere, I immediately start talking about moving somewhere else.

On paper these places are basically the same as the place where I felt the most comfortable, but they don't feel right...in the three places I've lived since leaving that college, I've felt like a puzzle piece that just doen't fit.

I guess i'm just wondering if anyone else feels this way: a sense of never being in the place where you belong....or is this just my own anxiety that's for some reason clinging to this particular issue?

I hope this makes sense. I've been trying to explain it to my husband and a number of psychiatrists over the year, and they just don't seem to get it.",5.5892266187050375,5.381218669064751,6.063588129496408,82.53642535971224,67.34532374100718,8.748561151079135,29.785071942446045,8.17850203761792,1.886682733812949,2164,69,446,25,32,701,232,556,0.081,0.787,0.132,0.9843,2,0,0,0,0,0,96.0,5,1,2,3,38,22,3,3,43,0,32,1,0,5,4,76,72,26,0,5,13,3,11,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,36,18,0,1,21,1,1,15,6,7,0,4,17,12,47,15,71,51,16,85,0,1,0,0,22,42,0,12,26,299,83,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18074668666344115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040915851504955664,0.06309069757287222,0.09205569425749596,0.0,0.0,0.0420704000848637,0.06164854567609938,0.0,0.053561684992990716,0.0,0.0684490304025402,0.11305838496402085,0.0,0.0,0.036677449392479716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051822038078276234,0.0,0.0,0.06286205984664762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052417695454052,0.0,0.053290400822859636,0.0,0.0,0.07947991556240748,0.054424799789750775,0.05069357532700156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18253447655031327,0.0,0.2310803110983931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929702686276262,0.0,0.06286989918086071,0.0,0.10258345031308934,0.1513965197072304,0.0,0.13266940004726194,0.06628110360397849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05389811472215464,0.11880557505253367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05975974029511213,0.0,0.0694250271819363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255981330219796,0.0,0.053479492496297104,0.0,0.0,0.06613278838292032,0.0,0.0,0.06370852103367472,0.06537198629025193,0.0,0.04249796856764117,0.058789442111460415,0.0,0.2656442987190793,0.0532461987428972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048649136943568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557934237127681,0.0,0.044613317047388204,0.04640475849394594,0.1162199754997262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04077094381629635,0.04575997004730173,0.0,0.07059340467261922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342490960693212,0.0,0.5657585386198286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05762367581721315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060484790712713475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06186204195989783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10276515188591312,0.0,0.047847480292291265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547740826983376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19908416738761145,0.06763060624446933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04258674989126438,0.06413037434231073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06289996300755465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048360225341155264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039972504335223,0.1156583978068394,0.11822820368696085,0.0,0.07016811460445029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04084967145575306,0.0,0.058774744327540415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07097650696092785,0.09551606104665122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155144597773684,0.0,0.06717468161470902,0.0,0.0,0.06524890900488826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11623737459044238
bipolarreddit,bpthrowaway2238,2019/04/23,"A product of hypomania that I don't regret [https://drive.google.com/file/d/1i4j0xeY4Og0bbchlVkXRKTsdUnkKtDYE/view?usp=sharing](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1i4j0xeY4Og0bbchlVkXRKTsdUnkKtDYE/view?usp=sharing)

​

edit: YouTube link [https://youtu.be/UnH548HMBRI](https://youtu.be/UnH548HMBRI)

​

So if you can, watching the video will give this context. I got the recent free trial of Microsoft Office, and I've been having a good time with the most recent version of PowerPoint. This is a video I made about bipolar, and it came out so well (IMHO) even as a stumbling first draft that I wanted to post it in case people found it helpful.

​

Part of the rules that I explained in the video includes me not getting sucked into discussions that I don't have time for, but I'll check the comments occasionally and anyone who writes a comment that I think needs a response from me will get one at some point, possibly this weekend. One of my other rules is not to make commitments when I'm hypomanic, but I will at least promise to check this post \*eventually\* and I'll probably upload version 2 at a later point.

​

One of the reasons I broke the rule is that I thought this video might help at least one person to not make a bad choice if I posted it today, so if that's you know that this was for you and you are loved.

​

Side note: The potential for my content to go viral is not something I need right now so let me know if my identity might be compromised in any way (being anon helps keep this \*\*low-impact\*\*)",9.47721266968326,11.302061092307696,7.212398190045249,70.59377828054298,59.23076923076921,8.425339366515837,31.832579185520373,8.4952907291091,2.415599547511313,1284,43,201,15,17,371,148,260,0.021,0.8590000000000001,0.121,0.9733,1,0,1,0,0,0,92.0,0,4,0,1,9,9,1,0,17,0,20,2,0,4,1,41,42,17,0,8,10,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,21,9,0,1,8,5,3,2,6,4,1,5,7,1,22,6,27,27,7,29,0,2,1,1,16,13,1,8,10,140,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4219550107785875,0.47320878733546895,0.05296612596739659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0544607047985736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06503275399714516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908247500222294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051443915557356085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625101153841267,0.0,0.08539955115549287,0.0,0.0,0.08138593911867313,0.07471672383527407,0.0442652236366564,0.0653282842622121,0.06229369609111313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566189155622412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922993001595562,0.0,0.0,0.08560979354519085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964517826022391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029645007825272,0.0736989732532657,0.10398093394960846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652525179669898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11550509074797885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21111416397843255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843445009047321,0.0,0.05399733976603489,0.06800830307636799,0.0,0.0,0.14725760107328129,0.08780637898902892,0.22378389497791126,0.0,0.08397582725252634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008125424571612,0.15380888925288305,0.0,0.0,0.06651544303298518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059961551898915125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04990712272546624,0.0,0.061833922454235475,0.09083357819362244,0.0,0.07382818025641763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04594002654402755,0.0618234197166069,0.0,0.0,0.07003015703572057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.47320878733546895,0.0
bipolarreddit,Doggostrophic,2019/04/23,If life could just have a pause button so I could just cry whenever something inconveniences me that'd be great. Get on that for me please? I had a shitty day I just need some time to get it out without my SO or kid seeing.,0.8072340425531905,2.944675255319152,2.3866382978723406,94.69400000000002,83.68085106382979,5.4621276595744686,17.910638297872342,6.742157984588678,-0.15906468085106384,175,4,40,2,5,57,37,47,0.138,0.735,0.127,-0.14400000000000002,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,0,6,1,0,0,0,11,10,4,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,6,1,5,5,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,3,2,29,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4765015369376669,0.0,0.3277820333570486,0.19244545409795086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31180683547575017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3289907120273893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21077108864297503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22126227956251054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3275572348034574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23778881038232114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297254531959561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17400137467354124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876501504210689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jeanskirtflirt,2019/04/23,"Could medicine be causing hand tremors? So recently I’ve been noticing I’ve been dealing with hand tremors. I do have a bad back to which causes some nerve damage. 

However I did recently switch up my medications. 

For reference I’m currently on:
Depakote 
Prozasin 
Concerta 
Trazadone 


I’m really curious if anyone else has dealt with this due to medication or if I should go to my GP and figure out what’s going on. 

TIA",1.7004868549172372,4.412805455696205,3.210379746835444,82.86945472249272,95.70886075949366,7.494060370009737,28.86173320350536,8.139509932561175,3.062074196689387,337,18,60,10,13,110,61,79,0.08,0.764,0.156,0.745,2,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,9,4,2,2,0,14,13,5,0,4,3,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,3,2,5,0,10,7,1,11,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,4,5,35,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15479485936271914,0.2268311672481897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17022845240965526,0.18484402738067504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4548388815977748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767548479317363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22823426240356884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18493555805082146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516320379193845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4460364706250936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25204392597926273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141822444394431,0.0,0.4371743896575438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,100100throwaway,2019/04/23,"Had a psychosis this past weekend, now I really do want to die Im now ""sober"" and cant come to terms with the crap I do

I thought that I had been put in between a rock and a hard spot. I made a story that  the cops had come knocking and it was either go to jail or tell them waht i had seen and risk being killed by a gang. I believed in this fantasy and I told all my family that they would be okay, i told my wife who has been seperated from me for over 6 months that I knew she once had a dream that she was pregnant and that in that dream I hated the kid and wanted it gone but now she and our son would be safe. I packed my camping gear and headed out on my scooter. I stopped at a park, it was raining. I then actually may have seen something go down in that park. It was almost 2 am and a white box truck showed up after acar had done a drive thru a long the roads inside the part. Then a newerish American type muslce car showed up and something was transported between the two. I didnt want to move, I do actually think it was some illegal activity. Maybe 30 min later, I got the courage to go back to my scooter and just drve home. On the drive out, I was followed but lost the car on the way back to my apartment. I slept with my knife under my pillow thinking someone was coming to get me.

I woke up this morning and needing to go to work, called into my job which I knew needed me today. Ive ignored all communications from everyone today and just want to end me now. Ive been going crazy since early FEbruary. This would be my 3rd break since then. Im actually a very smart person, I care alot about ppl but I really am insane. I dont want to go back to a psych hospital, I dont want to go to jail. I dont want to face my family. I dont have it in me to really disappear. I feel the only option left is to just end it. How can I face the ppl that Ive scared shitless?",2.462240102171137,3.189991639506172,4.278773946360154,89.25999999999998,74.58024691358024,7.561515538527032,23.59514687100894,7.873277556716777,0.9112937420178796,1454,39,341,20,29,495,196,405,0.099,0.82,0.081,-0.8517,4,0,2,0,0,1,33.0,1,0,2,2,12,12,3,2,26,1,45,5,5,2,2,60,84,22,2,12,8,2,2,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,22,22,0,3,6,7,0,20,6,7,0,1,32,5,54,5,47,44,7,67,0,1,3,0,15,21,1,6,24,229,76,4,0.0,0.0,0.24327110689945955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320931775491508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19168864384807344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362149817585018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485099699285145,0.0,0.08472259931659963,0.0,0.0,0.21474128555412167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624123044681421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503675012925692,0.3895547417456359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14719798112635654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940243497729824,0.0,0.0,0.1566723014942166,0.0,0.04201617617694965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04341458353729677,0.0,0.33058029166388797,0.0,0.06646000284769338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07443829987308571,0.08204076402249118,0.08528116299926983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335274134777385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17951733914903958,0.0,0.08246062893316615,0.0,0.09193416023131283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028478164511372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353794338740563,0.0,0.0,0.09070983797325533,0.0,0.0,0.07862808405396375,0.0,0.0,0.08348178002537729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632697401929359,0.0883186159573947,0.0,0.12323026472543648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849524799073312,0.0,0.0631987666010945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998560242944813,0.07932517985632914,0.0,0.07255681232192954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08353511086693177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970157543208285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319426903922311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13747685822015507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040754394203518,0.12794376188965687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947254198463923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07263015748522053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10648998940770348,0.0,0.0659694787797124,0.0,0.0,0.15753186527589966,0.15880486995459647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117337806286998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856346031337901,0.3430880073854415,0.06595827360139576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0604953698270955,0.0,0.0,0.17708848347662778,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lyraliveshere,2019/06/04,"Depressed after Mania I am depressed, I think, after my last manic episode.

Always in the springtime, but autumn brings me sadness. It's summer now, and I don't really understand.

I passed through a mixed episode, blissfully short, and here I go again, into the abyss. And I don't really know how to deal with it.

My husband is always apologetic after I've been manic, as though it's his fault where the fault clearly lies with me. My behaviour... He tells me I'm easier to 'deal with' when I'm depressed.

I don't deserve him, I don't deserve a lot of things.

I don't know what's going on, really. I'll forget all this when the episode passes.

Which it will.",2.5087913486005067,4.559471221374047,3.9804770992366407,85.96832379134865,77.2442748091603,6.809414758269721,23.89376590330789,7.793537801064563,1.3188926208651388,514,17,100,8,12,170,77,131,0.19899999999999998,0.746,0.055,-0.9579,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,6,0,9,0,0,1,2,17,18,9,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,7,0,0,4,0,0,5,5,6,0,0,1,0,17,0,14,16,2,20,0,4,0,0,7,5,0,1,10,68,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33321015268219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4128509175591149,0.5173662007561358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227587472293256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22007927347692044,0.16321189791920326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17022601145411995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3848120283219263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17500740455196478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13302205952986704,0.12829750961782474,0.19672221456359767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20844358419145748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Lord_NeKr0,2019/06/04,Just had a really amazing date with a girl. She has BiPolar2 Was looking for more info on this as to what to expect and how I can best help her or not when she's going through something I can't relate to. I have PTSD and when I'm in a hole I have wait til I feel safe to crawl out again. Thanks in advance,1.8550000000000004,2.603139205882353,3.4228235294117653,94.74570588235296,76.05882352941177,6.028235294117647,22.423529411764704,5.6839178017228535,0.03877294117647079,238,6,58,1,5,79,53,68,0.0,0.7559999999999999,0.244,0.9501,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,3,0,7,0,0,1,0,13,13,8,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,2,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,2,8,4,13,11,2,11,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,1,5,44,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4266025615884356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055414521312572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23102650787370785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27247214371801765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3413623339838397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4751833081985577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604179049494116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3129478810635199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3742557528289161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cookie81862,2019/07/14,"Because of a tee shirt I work outside in the heat and humidity, l sometimes cut my tee shirts up to be more comfortable, well my girlfriend doesn't like that l do that, like I am showing off my body. I told her l wouldn't wear them anymore except for one that basically wasn't much worse then a tank top. I had bought her a expensive chair on the day it was delivered l rush home from work to make sure the delivery went well, she saw in that shirt and got angry with me, the shirt meant more than the chair. She also got angry that l moved heavy shelfs for her and I chipped a lamp shade, that I certainly didn't know that did, l tried to be very careful. That evening she started texting me in angry about a shirt, about the lamp, not feeling appreciated l went off I a tirade of anger, I didn't start the bad texting but by trying to defend myself and sending not nice texts back. She blames my angry texting on my bipolar mania",6.286825396825397,5.437598026455031,6.328089947089946,83.35626190476191,66.08994708994709,9.253121693121694,31.59841269841269,8.238735603445708,2.03476253968254,733,24,157,8,10,233,109,189,0.149,0.767,0.084,-0.9173,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,3,7,12,2,0,13,0,12,8,7,1,2,16,26,7,0,1,4,0,1,2,1,1,1,0,1,0,9,5,0,0,3,1,2,5,7,3,2,1,14,2,24,9,23,9,3,19,0,0,1,0,11,9,0,0,7,98,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14317316609011865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775532989024236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13766584582778296,0.1494856412977128,0.10913726721703394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19886605388842107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18253676474792255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11546190999481933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11825005455396125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905248059937232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2863791716215387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17958537463701238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839222624671128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17493362159949852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195063690127184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19028446428600573,0.1316103518086481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131785234995532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770688835372395,0.0,0.2534419148426875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687371209430504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171074349828447,0.0,0.2431042279787685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14772153270177898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3219455517791473,0.3319320228034999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606772969559619,0.0,0.1824506112157012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AnotherCrazyChick,2019/07/14,"My Psych Doctor Broke Up With Me Professionally, not literally. But fuck it all. The past several years have been very unstable. Last year I went on disability and ended up missing my last two appointments I scheduled back in December. I lost my job in January and stayed with my parents for a month in March. Since then, I’ve gotten basically everything back on track. I landed a kick ass job and paid off my medical debt. So last week I emailed my doctor’s office manager to see about restarting treatment to get back on my medications. He responded that he talked to my doctor and unfortunately he “is not willing to offer his services any longer.” I have always paid my bills, made all of my appointments (minus the ones last year) for 5 fucking years. I have no clue what I could have possibly done that is so bad that my doctor is literally refusing to treat me. I almost feel like the office manager doesn’t like me and I should email my doctor directly. I did at least request my medical records. At this point, I’m just at a loss as to what I should do. It’s so difficult to find a psych doctor taking new patients here. Has anyone else had a doctor refuse them service?",4.7031207704320686,6.2995363761062,5.780546590317543,77.29722280062468,70.19469026548673,9.38844351900052,29.223321186881837,9.773937934552695,2.8654313378448717,935,36,174,23,17,310,135,226,0.155,0.802,0.043,-0.9747,4,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,2,9,11,2,0,8,0,18,13,1,1,2,22,32,11,0,3,4,1,1,2,0,3,10,0,0,0,8,7,0,2,2,0,4,1,4,8,0,2,10,2,30,3,26,18,3,35,0,4,1,3,14,14,3,1,21,113,38,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921369631157327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07656155121684942,0.0,0.0,0.06257147564725031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433709473359718,0.09427740918439016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122551894963893,0.0768263736243574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07346428326382452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6592489563644752,0.0,0.09416046329352724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686441634373764,0.0,0.08149553033048587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269466464533404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046524151130310984,0.06573355971317332,0.0,0.0,0.08409751667206039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17012765885162992,0.04807259559371317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826158928232882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000090118780628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990506148814081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10044222475411696,0.0,0.0,0.08706420237309137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780779424787277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344328884889623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886599079850956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0623498723424542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216869905498838,0.0,0.08783609056979369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869813039101736,0.1037299708868118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733218391494082,0.0,0.0,0.10394763632737096,0.0,0.07611347236619445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807280085379444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06918175033412158,0.07395594985633216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988258457528693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591973091989034,0.0,0.0,0.07380666554792728,0.0,0.0,0.08529626451213072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370114527244701
bipolarreddit,talonsforheels,2019/07/14,"Loneliness is garbage, but what else are ya going to do? (Or, how I realized I needed more friends than just my husband) An already stressful work environment has been even worse for the past month.. We moved to a new location this past week, which was a whole ordeal (I work in the highly regulated but disorganized legal cannabis industry in WA). All of the stress finally came to a head yesterday, resulting in a minor breakdown over the phone with one of my bosses as well as a full on argument with my husband about quitting said job because it's turning me an asshole.

I realized in the middle of the fight how painfully lonely I am. I love my husband and he is truly who I want to spend the majority of my time with, but other than him I have little to no human interaction outside of work. I'm the supervisor at work, making it difficult and awkward for me to be friends with my employees (though it is a very relaxed, family like atmosphere). My assistant manager is the closest thing to a best friend I have, but she is leaving to have surgery soon. Other than that is my sister, who is in denial about her abusive relationship, and my parents, who were emotionally abusive growing up and I prefer to not talk with them if I can avoid it.

I don't know where I'm going with this.. I just want someone to have a bond with that isn't my husband, a family member, or an employee. I NEED someone else, that I can go out for coffee with and get out into the world. Internet interactions only go so far. I'm awful at texting consistently, I get busy or bored and forget my phone.. But how do people meet other humans anymore? I like doing yoga but get super anxious about going to classes, or they don't fit with my unpredictable schedule. I don't know what else to do. Most people give up because I forget to text back or my moods get in the way too many times.

Any of y'all seen Crazy Ex Girlfriend? 'Cause I have friends, I definitely have friends.. no one can say that I do not have friends. ):

Thanks for reading.. It's been a rough couple of weeks and last night's grand finale (god I hope it's the end) really took the cake. I needed to tell someone.",3.641722987067169,5.354326550827423,5.023288137950214,81.20720588235295,73.08983451536642,7.9079126686135455,28.516826588791545,8.583994105835817,2.211311277986372,1693,68,323,31,34,565,220,423,0.154,0.6759999999999999,0.16899999999999998,0.9082,4,3,0,0,1,0,56.0,1,2,2,7,16,26,1,4,26,1,34,3,1,7,1,60,63,26,0,8,16,7,1,2,7,0,1,2,0,2,22,21,0,1,5,3,1,9,8,9,1,2,8,4,47,16,57,54,7,51,0,1,1,1,41,24,0,8,19,230,69,10,0.0,0.20042689776132747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09333611412608342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575172886085032,0.0,0.0,0.09555130571826084,0.08388061552098877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06503678588702558,0.0,0.10311834482415776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876147367542034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673696784651728,0.0,0.08688694086339123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358614212270218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119671674433903,0.09514109638522876,0.07491276000500667,0.0,0.0,0.05586428088180893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15946896053137194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18530647362613992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3920777089547491,0.0,0.17675820020683608,0.08113682641922171,0.2403437665798617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680346357777913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893633954878734,0.0,0.08400700714506339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393258192623536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929658930706792,0.06894397464198489,0.0,0.0895579892959321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264301449642836,0.08477136262605553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633673661148896,0.0,0.05645779522786669,0.08575082710653732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06751093525257564,0.08989513620450054,0.0,0.1881449563932323,0.0,0.08168787434475472,0.0,0.07937258416059907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146271704519682,0.06432688816480657,0.08999906492702675,0.0,0.09391606142437707,0.0,0.1614823278270396,0.11727422078504306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996122275936,0.08460287124644628,0.0,0.054184102713090515,0.0,0.0,0.09080724824697216,0.0,0.0,0.08045493217068403,0.06726139703650214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21499303461277824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937721688382548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798218626300813,0.07392663289512927,0.07786988439288119,0.0,0.0,0.056191182235941065,0.0,0.08309940356861698,0.0,0.0986385361753959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09397147288300456,0.0,0.09199873342625968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06978734366145846,0.09977493037877197,0.06713565339465373,0.13568992067515526,0.0,0.07604756209660776,0.0,0.0,0.09443053016138664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463009389989451,0.0,0.08619422824334091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,maddawadda,2019/07/14,"How do I help my partner stop resenting me for the things I did while I was manic? I was terrible to my partner prior to starting a relationship with her over a year ago. When I’m manic I’m embarrassing and say things that hurt people around me because my perception of everything is skewed. I feel like my partner resents me for all that because she gets upset with me over every little thing now. I’ve done everything I can think of like listening, apologizing, taking my medication, and changing for the better. However, there’s probably more I can do and was wondering if anyone could help me help someone work through their resentment? Or if anyone’s been in a similar predicament.",6.918671875000001,7.752784773437501,7.520312499999997,69.6434375,64.546875,11.0875,36.3125,10.9516,4.351996875000001,553,26,92,15,8,183,82,128,0.16699999999999998,0.716,0.11699999999999999,-0.7059,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,2,5,10,3,2,5,0,12,1,0,1,1,17,21,9,0,3,3,0,1,2,3,0,1,2,0,3,5,6,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,6,3,20,3,14,14,2,13,0,1,0,0,13,5,0,4,10,69,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15165643735255885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392530739693863,0.0,0.0,0.15230182926360555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20858352891358772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15131068716652696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809851345867837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659736789955784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17507924769249505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441464034453935,0.0,0.3075201452472782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650566378411946,0.12222308366151813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938479672658345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.344023797787863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831499192924325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16716687639931396,0.17147201109083068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723500333584252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186087250704438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844584538852251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18368115123050666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13605357589336325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14495967692216322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12109476973474614,0.0,0.0,0.14303463346691514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286345497769088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409836078513148,0.10962429304943506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18553427137700185,0.12455184166972465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101730635822978
bipolarreddit,anniemac92,2018/12/11,"Med question Hello everyone! 

I recently started Effexor and Lamictal ( one week ago) and have noticed some side effects such as rapid speech or jumbled words, some agitation, I sometimes get very excited/hyper, clenching my jaw, rapid racing thoughts, anxiety is still not much better and gets worse in the afternoon/evening. 

Is that from the Effexor? Do I need to give it more time before I talk to psychiatrist? ",6.444553990610332,9.110562211267606,6.475704225352112,69.71149061032864,67.73239436619717,10.367136150234742,38.593896713615024,10.504223727775694,5.042969953051643,331,19,49,10,6,105,60,71,0.139,0.861,0.0,-0.8342,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,2,0,4,1,1,1,0,12,10,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,5,1,5,9,4,8,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,4,6,30,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052962312271923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771706089465861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19707147501954236,0.0,0.0,0.2048281916808496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15296723524594286,0.0,0.0,0.22130028111583772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419991161247813,0.2221683662273687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572513861606791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17024999880002487,0.17172579300316893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26367403172828713,0.0,0.0,0.15693571161508202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25944096671894634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22867350094134364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290547574370657,0.0,0.1639251210291509,0.0,0.18495318092087198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861484102986692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18386166876607288,0.13504572089077474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19109128134374556,0.0,0.0,0.1857726591015567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360165132428119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SlayerOfTheVampyre,2018/12/11,Therapy is so hard I just got back from my session and I have to say it. I feel like my brain just got dissected. Aghhhhh I know it’s good in the long run but it’s noon and I’m already so exhausted. ,-2.8113333333333337,-1.5961032444444427,1.0444444444444478,96.48000000000003,114.77777777777777,5.555555555555557,18.333333333333336,6.937597516519254,0.5763333333333338,154,6,39,4,9,56,33,45,0.133,0.782,0.085,-0.4758,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,7,7,5,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,3,6,2,3,5,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,23,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33048005023247445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302791418750144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33431510566597383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15142444748942746,0.2139462562831294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511868966536911,0.4790378433760825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26827235260209364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16458459461041058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14630921716565373,0.0,0.0,0.2650275075021146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23815593866809284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3424777732790937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,1stonedprincess,2018/12/11,Off Meds Anyone have successful experience coming off their meds? I’ve been on an antipsychotic and a mood stabilizer for about 6 months and I just feel like neither is what my brain needs. So I’m off for about a week now and I’m already sleeping better and just FEELING better that I’m not popping pills every night. ,4.293709677419354,6.18605579032258,5.0427741935483885,80.99416129032262,71.74193548387099,7.540645161290323,26.916129032258066,8.238735603445708,1.7977961290322582,257,9,48,4,5,83,45,62,0.0,0.774,0.226,0.9236,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,3,6,5,0,0,3,0,3,3,2,0,0,11,10,5,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,2,3,4,8,9,1,9,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,5,29,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253768757058194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16079475934535595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40676535729585306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256713616361876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19809187867480216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193752881565621,0.0,0.0,0.22494693715420852,0.0,0.0,0.23255136762769574,0.16428488042177292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11234780483774233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5108718245657661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18355345395823186,0.0,0.0,0.17051389014039353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21580373487290086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301280501342424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18446162472836605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,___statik,2018/12/11,"I’ve come to terms. After years of running away from getting help, and refusing to listen to family members and friends, I finally made an appointment with a psychiatrist. I think I’m ready to be healthy.",5.2307017543859615,7.23955715789474,6.118421052631582,73.75728070175441,69.52631578947367,10.329824561403509,36.35087719298246,10.504223727775694,4.451287719298246,164,9,28,5,3,54,31,38,0.065,0.6709999999999999,0.264,0.8074,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,7,7,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,9,5,1,7,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,16,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3615401722320731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3314783755427596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3627631258086105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42153880843767616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29730202622999385,0.0,0.2010465140227762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25792896860559883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3641150257668356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246569693918043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478040022867017
bipolarreddit,29TwentyNine29,2018/12/11,"Mania Who the fuck holds the strings to manic episodes? Oh! Today we're HIGH... Tomorrow, hell maybe even this afternoon, here comes manic depression; LOW.

When can I have a little bit of control over you. When will I feel how I long to FEEL?... Normal.",0.8485638297872349,3.307983297872344,1.7650797872340434,92.87187500000002,99.0,4.903191489361704,18.640957446808514,6.6274283507984215,0.4238957446808511,193,6,37,3,8,60,40,47,0.287,0.713,0.0,-0.9458,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,1,5,4,2,0,3,0,3,1,0,2,0,7,7,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,2,4,0,4,6,1,11,1,2,0,1,2,4,2,0,6,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3149086722499796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484709621235264,0.0,0.0,0.3235170726588473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484383909778741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19051607259787864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916942503859726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666639729742177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30475937170623324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.289098988143347,0.0,0.2552659145013214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28978309619175074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826161486298107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734133822651779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Yanomonkey,2018/12/11,"I'm so tired of being sad all the time. All I do is sit around the house, I don't have any friends, I don't have anything to do, I don't do the things I use to love. Worst of all I don't have the motivation to change it. I'm just so sad all the time. I want it to stop.......",-0.4145454545454541,-0.046357000000000426,2.251939393939395,102.42790909090913,81.12121212121212,5.8860606060606075,17.745454545454546,5.6839178017228535,-0.9065963636363632,202,3,63,1,5,71,31,66,0.264,0.6559999999999999,0.08,-0.9115,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,5,0,12,2,0,2,4,10,17,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,7,2,7,16,5,5,0,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,42,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078019402197389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514627469162263,0.2720271399370455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3232585502801234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23608701142674635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3525933059578913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27579398058700305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554749502489817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20301090288430665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.356367271364247,0.3512142907809887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639192743884495,0.0,0.0,0.1802364525483996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Fallenheart1187,2018/12/11,"Have a bad cough forming, (tis the season for colds) I'm on lithium and just took nyquil. I saw that it has acetometaphin which I lblw is lithium safe, but I still wonder if it's safe to take this medicine while on lithium. Amy and all comments appreciated. Thanks!",2.1217647058823523,4.814199509803924,2.301470588235297,93.70161764705885,83.31372549019608,4.184313725490196,24.18627450980393,5.46131890053228,0.2671803921568623,209,8,42,1,6,63,42,51,0.04,0.706,0.254,0.9208,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,1,9,9,5,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,2,3,3,4,7,2,6,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,2,3,26,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3676300079216275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3516221394968038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3310489122878719,0.0,0.0,0.4053667674564697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.48918670539581893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4774838395905435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,boopum,2018/11/23,Abilify... I was recently diagnosed with bipolar and adhd. They started me off on 10mgs of abilify and I start taking it tonight. Is there anything I should know or be aware of? If there is anyone else taking it out did it work for you?,1.2433333333333323,3.8593895652173984,3.0478260869565226,86.86637681159422,88.13043478260867,6.544927536231885,25.057971014492754,7.793537801064563,1.857084057971015,184,8,35,4,6,61,36,46,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,0,8,11,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,6,0,7,7,0,7,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,4,28,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3550036730135359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20654489199096554,0.30266392005744824,0.2430823732787851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2998165711563326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467620373192791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16233966881772185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916638752242073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4181598291812851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4441959093637849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21504882890859608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Alwayslearning-,2018/11/23,"Psychiatrist diagnosed me with bipolar two after ten years of being treated for depression. I need help wrapping my head around this...and any advice you lovely people might have! I was diagnosed with bipolar two last week. I have been struggling with my mental health for the last ten years. At fifteen I was diagnosed with depression, at twenty they called it chronic depression, then at twenty-four treatment resistant chronic depression. 

I have tried nearly all of the common antidepressants and many add ons. I did a six week outpatient mental health program at the hospital two years ago that I was sure would help. 

I had the worst episode of what I now know was hypomania, that I’ve ever experienced last spring/summer that lasted for 4 months. I left my marriage, met someone online and after two weeks we met in person. I ended up going back to the US with him (I’m from Canada) and shit went down. I was severely injured and nearly lost my life at his hands. Luckily I managed to pick up the pieces of my life when I got home and my parents were incredibly supportive, but I had done a lot of damage to my relationships and my career. My business went to hell in a hand basket as I now think I was rapid cycling and didn’t handle it well. Lucky me, I also got PTSD out of that whole situation!  

About a month ago I mentioned to my parents and husband (luckily I was able to repair things with him, and we are working on our marriage) that I read about bipolar online and saw some eerie similarities. My parents told me for years they had talked about the possibility of my being bipolar but didn’t know how or if they should bring it up but now that I had brought it up they told me how important they thought it was I talked to my psychiatrist about it. i was surprised as I mentioned it offhandedly and didn’t expect that reaction from them. They filled out some questionnaires off the internet and filled out the mood disorder assessment for me to take to my next appointment, they answered yes to all of the signs/symptoms. 

I spent an hour with my psychiatrist reiterating the behaviours my family talked to me about and answering his questions. He quite simply said “If these accounts from your family and husband are true and you acknowledge you’ve acted that way, there is simply no doubt you’ve been misdiagnosed in the past and have bipolar two, not treatment resistant depression.” I knew going in that was a possibility but hearing it was overwhelming. He said we need to wean off my dose of 150mg Effexor asap, but is leaving my 100mg dose Trimipramine and 80mg Vyvanse for now. We talked about medication options and decided on Lamictal. I started at 25mg for a few days and am on 50mg now to be reassessed in two weeks. 

He asked how if I’ve been dealing with this sort of thing for ten years I or my family haven’t noticed this sooner....I told him they had brought up small things here and there. They would tell me I wasn’t acting like myself, was making irrational decisions, was over the top irritable/on edge, and I would tell them that I’m depressed 80% of my life so don’t criticize me when I am finally doing well even if you don’t like my decisions. I was in denial. I would be so grateful to be out of bed and not suicidal that I was overly sensitive to anyone suggesting something was wrong with how I was acting, it was the only time I could function. 

I bought some books on bipolar two a few days ago. When I read the symptoms and behaviours that go along with everything I cried. So much makes sense. The four business plans and  websites I’ve poured time and energy into that I never seem to get around to launching, while letting my actual business that was paying the bills fail...the intolerable irritability I feel when I’m “up” that I even used to justify why I couldn’t be bipolar because I’m never euphoric/happy, how I go from depressed to looking into high end schools trying to enrol because I’ve decided I want to be a doctor, The paranoia I feel that everyone wants to see me fail and is out to get me....and physically, the fatigue! Oh my god. For ten years I have had doctors tell me I’m just tired because of my depression....it’s hypersomnia and what do you know, it’s connected to bipolar. Finally an answer as to why I can sleep for 16 hours, 4 hours or 8 hours and still be exhausted! 

With the help of my husband, parents and psychiatrist I have identified that stress leading up to my diagnosis and dealing with the realities of the way others perceive my behaviour, has triggered a manic episode (do I have to say hypomanic every time, not manic? Or is just manic ok?). So for the first time I’m aware that this isn’t just “me doing good/me not depressed” and that it’s not a good thing. It feels like a good thing because I’ve gotten more work done in the last week than I have in the last three months (I’m a professional artist and damn do I get a lot done like this, lol) I’m really struggling right now to figure out what’s me and what’s my bipolar, you know? Once I am stable (hopefully soon) if I find myself super irritable is that a warning sign of a manic episode coming on? Or am I just fucking irritated lol. 

Anyways..I know this is a ridiculously long post but I just had to share this with someone. I’ve isolated myself over the last few years so don’t have any friends. I am extremely lucky to have my husband, mom and dad....but I just needed to get it all out, so if you’ve made to this far thank you for listening <3

TL;DR: Was misdiagnosed with treatment resistant depression for ten years, with help and insight from family my psychiatrist diagnosed me with Bipolar type two. I am overwhelmed and have been hypomanic since the day before my diagnosis. I am relieved that maybe something with help now, but it’s scary. My psychiatrist is weaning me off my dose of 150mg Effexor, leaving my 100mg dose Trimipramine and 80mg Vyvanse for now and has added 50mg Lamictal. 
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bipolarreddit,danie460,2018/11/23,"Im forgetting everything! I am in my last year of university and just recently diagnosed with bipolar. I have always had problems with my memory but it has gotten a lot worse. Anybody have this problem too? If so, what do you do to cope? 

I need to memorize a bunch of things for school and I just can't. Focusing is near impossible too. ",1.1480303030303072,3.773059560606061,3.7184848484848487,81.46439393939394,89.75757575757574,8.387878787878789,25.51515151515152,8.841846274778883,2.821133333333334,265,12,51,9,9,92,52,66,0.165,0.835,0.0,-0.8966,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,9,2,0,0,0,14,11,5,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,7,0,9,9,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,3,42,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22910765860253365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794676239407056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24746077756643764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974179816160952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22444151528605594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340870024731755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20416354644287568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5269326484862716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271868262264082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786620899342559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829258343784172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28059831618797776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17731203891718567
bipolarreddit,mamV4,2018/11/23,"are benzos going to ruin my life I'm 25 and I've been prescribed benzos since I was 13.

I'm really unstable at the moment they have me on 2 clonazepam morning, and night and lorazepam as needed with a bunch if re-fills. I know nobody is forcing them down my throat - especially not the 2.5mgs <3  lolll and I'm trying to learn how to not resort to them anytime something is fucked.

​

Basically I almost curbed my face today, my balance and memory is so bad. I'm covered in bruises all the time and hurting myself is super easy especially now they're giving me more. I can't focus and my eyesight sucks,. I know I should go to the doctor I will I'm in between psychiatrists and I'm scared

​

I'm just so over it.. I take zopiclone most nights too ..

​

Basically am I fucked lol? If I taper off and save myself and will I be ok using and abusing them for that many years, Will I stop falling down stairs? Thx",3.0958870967741947,5.015397123655916,4.550201612903226,83.14530241935486,75.07526881720429,6.370430107526883,25.065860215053764,7.1686216300943375,1.2005279569892466,739,25,139,8,16,246,118,186,0.165,0.733,0.102,-0.9257,0,0,1,0,0,1,33.0,0,0,4,1,6,10,3,1,5,2,15,6,2,2,1,30,33,17,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,2,12,0,2,3,0,0,3,3,7,0,0,2,0,25,3,17,26,4,20,0,2,0,2,5,9,3,4,8,89,27,2,0.0,0.15084927038246468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748911504678892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.413842224714852,0.4641105622710276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630398544089673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13031386442881787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354041628736161,0.0,0.1221336178247218,0.14471383725240136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13629497974959232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13993967173873104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899274311024597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290789794004379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944035945776002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389558795298063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156222993913283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12746605816448384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10531755016622013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801448575214364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644232084392223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572618663810747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423929312806958,0.0,0.12068118473731936,0.0,0.0,0.08643956733010602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996060495939937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4641105622710276,0.08198767178228437
bipolarreddit,stupadbear,2018/11/23,"""It's finally over"" (TW: Suicide) That's what I mumbled to myself when I thought I was going to die. When I couldn't throw up the pills. I was just so relieved. I've read about people scared of dying when they actually believe they will die, but I was just at peace. 

Luckily I survived by being taken to the hospital by my SO and I'm much better now. But the memory stick with me. It just says something about how much we struggle with our lives. How exhausting it is to live in constant alertness so we don't ruin ours or other's lives. Even when we're happy we need to be vigilant. It's so tiring and I was just so happy to get rid of it.   

Anyone with similar experiences? Want to vent about the unfairness of our lives?",1.4840765765765769,3.6472136689189214,3.5661081081081107,87.06898198198198,81.22972972972974,6.649369369369371,22.704504504504506,7.793537801064563,1.1842336936936944,565,19,116,10,15,192,89,148,0.078,0.6940000000000001,0.228,0.9819,0,0,1,0,0,1,18.0,6,0,2,2,20,8,0,2,4,0,10,3,0,2,0,21,17,16,4,3,7,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,8,8,0,0,1,1,0,2,2,4,0,0,6,1,19,4,22,7,2,13,0,1,0,0,9,4,0,1,7,87,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.1445743406925165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359086444150364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166915831632399,0.0,0.13102782441009794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16009897117557936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4612731150913558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09785256548831536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449204424829787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16229255581284308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740296253848475,0.0,0.08419782296570308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154197211824163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5232814041750388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21781656875970634,0.10985234438511016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10270948796188988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14819143589545705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178158951383388,0.14832534059269625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140541426600375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15487995189367113,0.0,0.1620535244411172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761561850023874,0.0,0.17027817602824266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738350118241732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,xota_pe,2019/01/29,"I'm in love for the first time since diagnosis and it does not feel good. Yesterday I've put my best friend on a hold. Totally my fault. She were there for me the whole time, but things worked out in a way that I developed a crush on her. I really thought ""wtf, mania. Again?"". But I had my lithium tests, talked to my psychiatrist and sadly I wasn't manic at all. I was really suffering, because she has her problems too and when I try to talk with her about it she doesn't respond well. I tried do keep my distance, try to get over it, but she likes me a lot and we became even closer. 
Relationships are a huge problem for me, and my friend is in a different phase of life. She broke with her first boyfriend recently (they were together from age 13 till 18, church boyfriend, holding hands only, she was unhappy) and now she is dating a lot of guys no strings attached, a lot like what I do, but it hurts for me to see it. I started avoiding being at the same places she goes to and the others close to me are telling me she is not really all that.  So I decided to put our friendship on a hold too, since I'm unhappy with this ""let's speed date everyone we can and maybe we'll get together at the end"". I can't keep having sex and making out with strangers to compensate her actions, you know? It became toxic. Yesterday we've had a huge fight about it, because I told her I didn't like to be exposed this way. 
Edit 1: She thought I called her a whore idk but things went ugly and she told me that I was the one she liked. It doesn't matter, because it was turning my first time being ok with my disorder in making me feel like a mess. Sorry if the text is unclear, writing in english is uncomfortable for me and sometimes I just can't organize my ideas. ",3.152883524192717,4.3632621754874625,4.3209037449706,87.7660002063345,73.48467966573816,7.881192613226041,26.388218301867326,8.401726058763845,1.580591994222635,1367,47,297,23,27,448,179,359,0.184,0.711,0.10400000000000001,-0.9831,1,1,0,0,1,0,44.0,4,1,1,5,12,23,1,1,19,1,31,5,1,2,3,57,51,20,0,3,9,0,3,5,2,1,1,0,0,1,18,21,0,6,7,0,0,4,9,11,1,4,15,4,59,12,39,31,9,44,1,4,1,3,39,19,0,5,24,208,77,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877179749436135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772169342434526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048140633705893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072442674418581,0.11764235463616197,0.0,0.08982708120994062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091477453765548,0.0,0.0,0.06779737525007057,0.0,0.0,0.09808360710470837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380281454492904,0.07333103713351878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26193445665845605,0.0,0.0,0.1586096347648438,0.0,0.10725764154472656,0.0,0.0,0.08609543333905789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016366678939694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988573623153433,0.11587596848559885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824747394507656,0.0,0.0,0.05641210661339746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496351179464301,0.07250261155810415,0.25074069589589365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618004254961412,0.0926429248836924,0.0,0.13703533880453947,0.0,0.10312270794657452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955626355799467,0.07806766876325888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072442674418581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19643863196736386,0.0,0.20637717208705134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197274889405619,0.0,0.10135152882995473,0.11020446316764496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179636905143314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698213178413311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152050743289168,0.11490491239004845,0.07265407474651568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16500754040473786,0.08971800213394238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363882111310134,0.0,0.0,0.16298050404579356,0.17956287306417126,0.0,0.0,0.1961672142094168,0.0,0.20907172471917249,0.11165045990348334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16295282115904428,0.0,0.0,0.09229198018721207,0.09515479714749106,0.0,0.11460170948874356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472823834018855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,JonasMMA,2019/01/29,"A story going from manic to depressive Bipolar II explained 

My eyes open. WHAT A GOOD DAY TO BE ALIVE. Why was I so down yesterday? Maybe I should go to the gym. No, no: maybe I should get some work done. Yes work, I’ve been neglecting work. Actually maybe I should pay rent, I’m a couple of days overdue. I put on my favourite song. What a great fucking song, my auditory cortex shoots out musical notes like buckets of cum for my vagina of a cerebral cortex to process and enjoy. 
   
First I need to make breakfast. What’s the most optimal amount of nutrients I can make in a meal for my body weight? I research this for a couple of hours; I want to know anything and everything about how nutrients work from the macro to the micro level. I order an organic chemistry book. I order a vegetable juicer. I order 5 different multivitamins and 2 fish oils. I go for a run, planning my ultimate breakfast. I am so excited. I get a few hours of work done, life is so fucking great. Hell, maybe I’ll even find a girlfriend soon. 

Maybe I can share this with my friends. I haven’t spoken to them in a while, but I think it would be really great to catch up. So I plan 3 coffee dates for tomorrow. Perfect, that will scratch my social itch. I also want to get REALLY fucking high. Or maybe I’m just craving affection. Peaking on MDMA and having my first kiss felt identical. So does the mdma comedown and breaking up. I don’t deal with relationships very well. I’m either careless or obsessive. Very rarely do I find a good fit, in fact I haven’t yet. But I’ve learned from my mistakes.

My thoughts start racing. Maybe I’ll never find someone to give this boundless love to. Maybe I’m not attractive enough. Maybe I’m too weird. Who spends 4 hours planning their breakfast? Sometimes I say things I don’t mean. Sometimes I just want people to like me. Sometimes I won’t shut up. Sometimes friends say they like me or click well with me but it doesn’t feel genuine. Are all my relationships fake? I’m definitely overthinking this. This can’t be true.

 My dad comes into my room and asks how applying to work is going, I tell him to fuck off. I can’t believe I just said that. I’m just mentally fucked up and waiting for my meds to work, this must be the case. My friends like me, right? I need to slow down my thoughts, this is driving me mad. I order some ket, haven’t eaten all day and decide to order pizza. I binge and fall asleep. 

I wake up. The greyness of the bleak sky reflects through my cold window. I gather all my strength to go take a shower. I made it to the bathroom and undress. I’ve put on weight. My brutal acne medicine isn’t working as promised, in fact it’s made it worse. I’ve ignored calls from my landlord for days now, there’s no way I can call him and sort it out. I dropped out of school, I’m a fucking failure. I put on my favourite song. My auditory cortex hits me cerebral cortex with notes like harpoons to Moby Dick. What trash, how can anybody enjoy music?

Oh fuck, I have to meet up with my friends today. I try and get myself together and make a lazy breakfast. One friend calls me and says he can’t make it. I’m somewhat upset but also relieved. I meet up with my other friend. We have a seemingly normal conversation but I am fucking shattered. I can’t tell if he can tell or not. I leave the conversation feeling defeated, I’ve had so much to say and nothing but small talk left my mouth. He must think I’m boring, I despise being boring. 

I return home to find my books, vitamins and juicer waiting for me in a parcel at my doorstep. I’m never gonna use this shit, what’s the point? Ah but yes, my ket arrived, I’ll get a couple of hours of peace completely zombified. 

My dad calls me when I’m all fucked up. He can tell I’m fucked up and he’s worried I’m going to overdose. I try to pretend to be sober and he tries to pretend to believe that I’m sober as to not upset me more, it’s the saddest thing in the world. He drives me to the emergency unit and I get my vitals checked, all is seemingly fine. My parents have been nothing but supportive and I’m still like this. My phone dies and I can’t get it to work, my last friend completely ghosted and in my mind gone forever. Maybe some day I’ll get better, I’m just waiting for the meds to work. I fall asleep.

I wake up, WHAT A GOOD DAY TO BE ALIVE.

",1.3514363517536871,3.63811773947668,2.8102709800789114,91.56960877931887,82.64050056882822,5.651688330549708,23.571769176772445,6.947713065588193,0.8124796698375816,3379,125,711,42,94,1099,358,879,0.147,0.6920000000000001,0.161,0.8643,4,0,0,1,0,0,115.0,1,0,3,19,27,65,15,3,36,3,51,36,11,11,13,123,131,50,2,14,22,3,6,6,8,9,4,8,6,0,31,35,10,5,19,8,4,17,21,28,3,3,14,19,105,37,96,100,16,94,1,3,3,14,54,41,13,13,34,407,136,16,0.0,0.0,0.04107718975763301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732432301962013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03463936880753945,0.0,0.03935174586880626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09484993335158376,0.0,0.037228285330869984,0.0,0.046756395822084414,0.0,0.0,0.17192870369304594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03625982817248532,0.08826848027728862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13972699114686998,0.0,0.16288097421958206,0.04339655632713064,0.036255075004812766,0.0,0.043686413480984766,0.04397875458419346,0.0,0.0,0.036836310730437215,0.08615254230438996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04349384396210968,0.0,0.02780236369456119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0378309289536717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04256748276540689,0.0,0.040416366866704224,0.0,0.15389080744427205,0.07160942933552175,0.0,0.0,0.2276493680212479,0.3891476797610822,0.17593695615785715,0.0403799265205298,0.14353625690042526,0.10591810706407152,0.0,0.13922471677855475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04447410014265119,0.04222321857453203,0.0,0.16581449712579865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023133490036406745,0.034311825504393746,0.0,0.04457094499125496,0.04573471739159959,0.0,0.029731888113792564,0.12338856472738292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03799103257086118,0.07965978623919262,0.11239096836414043,0.0,0.4228858449052856,0.045852168126691926,0.0935127916441688,0.0,0.04242035351138719,0.0,0.042502441511879804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030943570222907845,0.062423602611823566,0.06493021356037702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041242698545160175,0.0807797084772579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028523649028317024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046739856940171014,0.0,0.0,0.029182336967338914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039791968957566495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12694679938837167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05393235557009901,0.0,0.0,0.09038534469658684,0.0,0.03594762409649992,0.04004056348569215,0.13389778180225698,0.0,0.042600875298527685,0.0,0.07664069381248476,0.0,0.0,0.043208378970011584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042909028368010034,0.03566569100297404,0.0,0.16652621489813318,0.0,0.029794000173957468,0.0,0.033615928235615045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047767211735012034,0.0,0.0,0.03164907788193661,0.03383316561855207,0.14716631822850315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05593010991249378,0.05394363791828848,0.0,0.06683508368709801,0.0,0.0,0.039899721787468784,0.0,0.0,0.08573618237360245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036355274063737626,0.0,0.06946310161436273,0.07448352126448199,0.03341186574117276,0.0,0.10251710041025984,0.07569423417327456,0.0,0.03798284190463815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064457367153916,0.0427479985717679,0.04289687872405285,0.029902018913685713,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fookinwhale,2019/01/29,"Does anyone feel like they get way too overly attached to their partner/someone they’re seeing? I handle break ups and unexpected rejection really badly.

When I broke up with my ex last year I didn’t really care, and then 3 months after i was crying for like 2 months about it.

I stayed over for one night with someone who’d had a crush on me for 3 years, the next morning she says she doesn’t feel the same way anymore and we should probably never meet again.

This past weekend I had a girl I’d been video chatting for a while take a 4 hour train ride and stay over for the weekend. It was amazing having her there but it was constantly on my mind that soon she wouldn’t be there anymore. 

 I feel like my feelings come way too fast and abnormally and it’s really making me depressed. Was diagnosed with bp2 a couple of weeks ago and waiting to start meds.",3.833698568872983,5.2430558313953535,4.457209302325584,86.67204830053673,72.0813953488372,7.385330948121648,24.85867620751341,7.882392219407189,1.2342194991055455,681,20,138,9,13,217,112,172,0.09,0.84,0.07,-0.5069,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,2,0,8,9,0,0,8,0,14,1,0,1,1,24,26,11,0,2,1,1,4,3,0,2,1,1,0,1,7,12,0,1,4,4,0,2,4,4,0,1,8,6,19,5,20,14,1,38,0,3,1,0,13,7,0,0,26,87,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865255751603347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654923036821011,0.0935930898008842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11176161614810824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364719959560892,0.0,0.0,0.11530245802238015,0.0,0.1446474789746206,0.0,0.0,0.14810573521995438,0.14703117235170446,0.0,0.0,0.11528734344672828,0.1358579193004455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171356122122646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707202787243823,0.19124913807940724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06993263800602499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181818597845155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10910801344871417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19618135995079727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934787866517298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14868044440002534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351533149842913,0.0,0.21368028372961315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10323564121451824,0.0,0.14235412313425164,0.125611919316007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09070221814311497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777777962305667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443161114094706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572488678623208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644523253187796,0.0,0.0,0.10666346536616236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22682632803153335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474180180984168,0.2853388545236914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064075473744616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187387068199876,0.10736875678229367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723938131689949
bipolarreddit,BeastOfWeaverHigh,2019/01/29,"Tegretol I got prescribed tegretol today for bipolar 2. Just wondering what I should expect to feel. I guess I thought that this feeling was just happiness but apparently it's mania? Kind of a shock to me actually but it makes sense. What does it feel like to be on a med like this? I've been taking zoloft for about 5 months and that's what triggered this mania. Waiting on my insurance to get tegretol( 200mg 2x daily).

  


Thanks.",2.0707228915662625,4.791441674698799,3.1433855421686765,87.3092951807229,84.06024096385542,5.7296385542168675,25.16746987951808,7.1686216300943375,1.344687710843373,341,14,64,5,10,109,58,83,0.040999999999999995,0.7879999999999999,0.171,0.8727,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,2,0,16,16,3,0,2,4,0,3,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,11,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,3,6,5,10,10,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,4,38,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.24198950022966334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217006092105088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3761534299649174,0.17715461288523948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12955759736660394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19832963000849144,0.0,0.2731743058481821,0.0,0.0,0.2639758214559287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582295862779324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422977917802217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16552638109641124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754462251260517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979326460002684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864476266406802,0.0,0.0,0.2283036400540748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19686581037646586,0.0,0.0,0.2350529281974072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26892016661731705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bipolarer,2019/01/29,"Dealing with the trauma of group therapy. Advice please I'm at a residential program and given that I am elevated, I am quite elevated and sitting still for that long is tough and it's amplified when people are sharing their traumatic experiences. Please share any advice that you have for this issue?",5.4266666666666685,8.245620925925927,6.5405185185185175,67.40633333333335,71.22222222222223,9.505185185185187,31.170370370370367,9.888512548439397,3.840574814814815,246,11,37,7,5,82,43,54,0.134,0.705,0.161,0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,1,1,2,4,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,4,7,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,2,5,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,3,26,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4803839734991013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16715178271174055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534080274031271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404386359005189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25655034745332705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21752442427896013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17040611218460855,0.0,0.0,0.5396270893485828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26143754552665016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19629543872785754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810926351117749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CroissantCroissalt,2019/01/29,"Content with the idea of suicide. Here's why Content with the decision?

Hi everyone,

First time poster and visitor. And suicidal. But not in a sad, angry sort of way. Let me explain. 

I have a myriad of uncomfortable, growing, and lifelong genetic disorders that aren't obviously visible. I have lumps everywhere that may be cancerous, and I'm currently in the process of finding out. I also have type 2 bipolar disorder. My teeth, lips, mouth, tonsil, and throat structures are all shades of fucked, meaning I'll need multiple surgeries, braces, and apnea machines in my future. My family has a history of a few kinds of cancer, heart problems, liver problems, balding, and Alzheimer's. I'm freshly in my twenties, so thinking about how ugly this can get for me is seriously worrying and a complete drain on any vision I have of the future. 

But that's not really the primary reason I want to leave this world. I just feel complete, finished, done. Not in a depressive way (at least, not all the time), but in a closure / final chapter sort of way. 

I have felt nothing but love from family and friends, have had many successful relationships, have had a super privileged life, and have set myself up for a decent future after Uni. However, I just don't care. I'm content with the time I have spent here and would rather burn out than fade away. My medical issues will surely put myself and my family into debt. My studies feel worthless even though I am excelling - and they have always felt that way. I never thought I'd make it past 18, and have no real vision of myself past 21.

Every day feels like unnecessary time to be spending. I feel like I should close my book and leave while I am content with my life up to now. 

Have any of you felt this way? Any suggestions or comments? ",5.074234234234236,6.75099465765766,5.834229429429432,76.95844324324327,69.3903903903904,9.051723723723725,31.63831831831832,9.490545024520769,3.1333052012012006,1403,61,244,31,25,458,191,333,0.12300000000000001,0.748,0.129,0.8001,3,0,0,0,0,1,55.0,0,1,1,4,12,18,1,0,16,0,30,16,7,3,5,67,52,25,2,7,12,0,7,2,1,4,7,0,0,0,8,23,0,0,15,1,3,2,8,7,0,1,8,7,30,11,38,37,4,43,0,3,0,2,9,16,1,4,21,165,38,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558678523298185,0.07864735383201793,0.0,0.0,0.19282842001525846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888036825998375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09636838809194152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19820268106124825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06095691554292326,0.0,0.0814090493623175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21665385406128249,0.0,0.0,0.09672572140888126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06242888748952195,0.0,0.07963630781781685,0.0903169252485175,0.0,0.0,0.26731221555003937,0.0,0.19116652249201466,0.13504874045086676,0.27225909792162484,0.10354091031406612,0.08638862516471532,0.08039778661068836,0.0,0.0,0.07302512086172758,0.08738126363466579,0.04938226009258551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11200543316707938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10670041093249123,0.0,0.09865324667043053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09842696107657738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20016388108073374,0.0,0.09665204949547153,0.13352308590007506,0.09235438767587326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530705964547271,0.0,0.06309214565285261,0.09582739906548532,0.0,0.10295886625250747,0.0,0.09521791720694624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700846177497224,0.07289885567938915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906934997931425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18045810160501108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808837762295731,0.0,0.09501766999906698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758327937619973,0.06055127173574198,0.09718124208006056,0.0,0.10147799979806607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20677682172416947,0.0,0.0890830095461184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605639387243023,0.09286440698677052,0.07503750338808161,0.22045908332922348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05574973672416444,0.37512378984861866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528866789340014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959886009174539,0.0,0.06714356358258934,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,GherkinJerkin,2019/08/15,"Hypomania without depression? Hi! I just recently heard about hypomania and a giant light bulb went off. I have moderate to severe anxiety disorder but every few months go through a week or 2 cycles that line up pretty well with hypomania symptoms. The only big difference is instead of inflated self esteem mine is TANKED and I over compensate to toxic degrees as a result. (My anxiety largely revolves around being a sucky human so this makes sense). and I tend to withdraw/talk less because I'm hiding bad behaviors and guilt stricken because I'm actively fucking up my life and am living up my poor impulse control. (Spending too much, drinking, drugs, bad behavior in general). The thing is... this isn't really followed by any kind of depressive episode. I get extremely guilty and hide out for a few days but nothing close to actual depression. Could this still be bipolar? Something else? I've reached out to my psychiatrist to make an appointment so we can discuss this but any pointers, things to talk to them about, things for me to think about, or consider are appreciated! Fairly scared about getting medicated for this as I have extreme reactions to SSRIs and SNRIs. (Serotonin syndrome). Currently on Buspar and have scrips for loraz and traze, though they aren't regularly utilized. Thanks!",5.710018796992477,8.578101793859647,6.085513784461156,70.77026315789476,70.53508771929825,9.430576441102756,35.418546365914786,9.842372674337009,4.34974411027569,1051,56,156,29,21,337,158,228,0.20199999999999999,0.7140000000000001,0.084,-0.9847,2,0,3,0,0,0,34.0,1,0,2,1,13,11,1,2,8,0,14,7,0,4,0,29,28,19,0,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,9,15,1,1,1,1,2,3,3,8,1,0,2,2,15,3,36,23,4,22,0,3,0,1,9,13,1,2,6,108,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.13094277014926814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18249741127961666,0.0,0.2052985001852657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11945087900481775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22407357600910244,0.16359282088155944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504970906541685,0.10713381279948776,0.0,0.0,0.08653661596117508,0.0,0.3467135883279981,0.0,0.0,0.14019215985677386,0.1537847773170854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13144777242026282,0.15560910725264654,0.0,0.1120922661416186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305454885334006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12404956494281034,0.14020964279000656,0.0,0.0762590106021318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397304318147728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477707249105724,0.0,0.0,0.11848561145440027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17913572988065254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13517475844325372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10710319640171134,0.0,0.09863958141252943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875173377576232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020518425829888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13651184845112985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596074951441632,0.0,0.13248903713348215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13434009719503898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13998161825196512,0.15158803865618822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330024896097056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10715832291064883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13946700167333653,0.0,0.21570163174022686,0.0,0.12353722386909348,0.0,0.0,0.2674346846719507,0.08597873202410643,0.13183363121806405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076331128389259,0.0,0.12064618788988825,0.12438852771382054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12934714781827278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,me0w-mix,2019/08/15,"Alcohol abuse vs bipolar disorder? How do you really know? First post here, but I've been lurking for a while. 

Quick background: I’ve been accused of being bipolar several times over the years. I remember circa 2014 having my boss telling me I “can’t act this way” and needed to get help. The person who sat next to me said they thought I was bipolar. I just thought they were being mean and dismissed it. After all, what do they know? Later on, a friend from HS with bipolar disorder started yelling at me that I need to “get help.” At a more recent job, I attributed some of my behavior to possibly having diabetes, after which the assistant manager (also diagnosed with bipolar disorder) implied the same thing. After having multiple people with the diagnosis suggest I have it as well, I decided to ask my doctor about it and they didn’t really disagree. I’ve been seeing a therapist since then, and it sounds like “bipolar 2” is going to be the diagnosis here. It’s not set in stone yet, but I did start taking lamotrigine in April and have admittedly been thinking more clearly than I have in a long time.

Anyway, I guess my question is: **how do you really know if you have bipolar disorder when alcohol abuse is thrown into the mix?** For a long time, I attributed a lot of my “episodes” to drinking. And in March/April, after a few months of no alcohol, I felt like I was going crazy anyway. This is when I began seeking professional help. I was unhappy at work and consumed with unpleasant feelings, which I would describe as a sort of anxious energy. I felt like some of the customers at work were targeting me to make my life miserable on purpose. I would have to run off and find some quiet storage room to cry in, because holding back the tears was simply impossible. I started calling in sick a lot because I would get so upset in the morning before work that I would begin throwing dishes at the wall. I would snap at my coworkers as well as several customers. At the grocery store, someone cut in front of me so I began screaming curse words at him, causing a scene that embarrassed me so much I haven’t set foot in that store again. Yes, he did actually cut, but I wouldn’t normally erupt like that. Later on at work, upset that my coworkers didn’t seem to be doing their share of the work, I stormed up to my boss’ office and quit. I decided to go visit a friend in another city and took a vacation, even if that wasn't the best financial decision for a now unemployed person.

Does this sound like (hypo)mania? It’s just all so confusing. I keep seeing that bipolar disorder typically manifests itself in the early-mid 20s (I am now in my early 30s), but I have been like this my entire life so it was easy to think it was normal. My worst moments have almost always involved alcohol, though, and I’m having trouble accepting that it might be more complicated than that. Could it have been something else, like alcohol withdrawal, or just situational depression because I was unhappy at work?

I can often drink alcohol normally like most other people can. But everyone once in a while I seem to quickly lose control, sometimes after only two drinks. A couple of drinks that would normally give me a nice buzz instead results in weird waves of happiness splashing over my brain. I tend to blackout pretty quickly and it’s all downhill after that. Is this how alcohol affects one if they’re already (hypo)manic to begin with? Can it elevate hypomania into full mania? My reactions to alcohol have always puzzled me, but it was hard to stop given that I had stretches where I didn’t have any problems with it. I know the rates of alcoholism are very high for people with bipolar disorder, making it all the more difficult to figure out what's going on.

Any insight would be appreciated, especially from those who have had issues with alcohol. Since 2006, I've been hospitalized twice, arrested once, and almost arrested a second time. I've been fired multiple times as well. Most of my friends eventually get fed up with me and discard me like garbage sooner or later. It feels like I have to be an actor 100% of the time to make other people less uncomfortable, and I'm just exhausted... Part of me would be relieved to have an answer, but it's hard to accept that I might have an incurable mental illness.",5.33544460215413,6.872200566502468,6.329428070468397,74.19663563496705,68.58128078817735,9.643015780245472,32.48192368706688,9.945555015845908,3.483773206980045,3428,152,589,84,59,1139,359,812,0.174,0.7070000000000001,0.11900000000000001,-0.9947,3,0,15,0,3,0,99.0,0,3,5,11,36,39,2,5,39,1,80,35,2,14,5,129,131,47,0,20,18,0,7,10,3,11,27,6,1,2,47,27,16,4,27,5,2,10,9,16,3,5,37,15,75,23,103,74,23,102,0,3,2,0,31,42,0,24,56,439,122,13,0.0,0.11080727841244166,0.04563157934625103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4997283764365421,0.09364792968324157,0.0,0.05160146117823071,0.03739441775263564,0.07781709448996522,0.0,0.0,0.06359759377167702,0.04903254371383766,0.0,0.05282614386420234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043714828707147935,0.0,0.0,0.03595599852778098,0.0,0.08551444395926773,0.0,0.039789808245774966,0.0,0.04907234226397663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05220027028615983,0.04774777882054036,0.0,0.0,0.04803599493976113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05244596494893998,0.037334517009632334,0.05173969073794395,0.05136429980254795,0.0,0.0,0.04027481776498545,0.04746100290084203,0.0,0.0,0.3215500448199131,0.04786143353612048,0.040920497381560936,0.0,0.0,0.18323026006691495,0.0,0.0,0.03906246317159453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030884921106511493,0.0,0.0,0.04468173666159496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04728710700124987,0.03340576664175557,0.08979497684466119,0.0,0.042738321632914585,0.03977452420605791,0.0,0.0,0.10838132092229567,0.0,0.09772188923127734,0.04485700779165274,0.10630045749577337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05151204907997221,0.0,0.0,0.04977750534971945,0.08377658729022583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940278903446635,0.049405118546002574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04880589520082119,0.046402658910833776,0.04156295071218314,0.0,0.0,0.10279356425115188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06605675897418357,0.22844856699458746,0.0,0.0,0.08276328105078319,0.0,0.05231312647716991,0.0,0.0795083433763762,0.0,0.0,0.09363914780265484,0.0,0.0,0.05093597834749613,0.0,0.0,0.047123664948164765,0.09921116860501203,0.0,0.0,0.03732384765703777,0.0,0.034374405557296664,0.06934475295089923,0.0,0.0,0.0497304057489668,0.0,0.1832617549760476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959698005873477,0.03168617818209931,0.035563527080939794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05063714975790267,0.0,0.1296715897743919,0.08165906705758144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05271552638136675,0.04478370840956426,0.04757231909176882,0.0,0.044743558494742486,0.0,0.0,0.052382549609585466,0.04973563113515141,0.0,0.0,0.08986807192925925,0.0,0.046170430055612194,0.0,0.052970620039278465,0.0,0.044480018242398056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452425394447645,0.08513814897004407,0.0,0.10565228772840468,0.0,0.07736166753340297,0.052560849453995306,0.0,0.0,0.039620086440763896,0.03599857786402847,0.04624740782652364,0.0,0.09929213446697807,0.0,0.0,0.039093937447343415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03515813562530544,0.0,0.04087080668713286,0.0,0.0,0.05429263573927159,0.03106565058825929,0.05992458121934721,0.04594203098478673,0.07424535228373126,0.16359881626065442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05195272328654205,0.0,0.0,0.045678290641517766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038582374447408384,0.0,0.03711637070769433,0.0,0.0,0.12613012744218885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20425354849378846,0.0,0.0,0.2657389868632676,0.0,0.0,0.030112279464573163
bipolarreddit,ValksVadge,2019/08/15,Do you overestimate your significance in other people's lives? Interpreting what was likely a coincidence as some sort of sign from above. That fate is a construct of my own very sick mind & I'm breaking my own heart.,5.8516260162601625,7.5614310731707315,6.432682926829269,73.28528455284554,67.53658536585365,9.369105691056909,28.300813008130078,9.725611199111238,2.6437252032520324,178,6,32,4,3,58,37,41,0.08800000000000001,0.86,0.052000000000000005,-0.3597,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,3,2,1,0,0,5,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,5,3,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,20,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4507715400027701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.493001062535575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032526903677488,0.0,0.3673647271096073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4200746934810717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28842487209093176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3432707637600299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,venusreturnstoearth,2019/08/15,"When a non psych doc or social worker uses harmful language with you Good morning, I went to a gyno to start taking birth control because my pre menstrual cycle “cancels out” my psych meds and I cannot control my mood or behavior. She was especially kind and knowledgeable and overall I felt safe in this space. Until I was describing my experience with bipolar and she summarizes it all with, “well you know we are all just trying to get through managing a difference experience of the same existence.” 

I don’t know if I have to explain that to anyone but it felt pretty invalidating and funny to me that she’d boast about her own philosophy during a consultation. No matter her intent, her impact negated the validity of my experience; especially one I doubt I have sometimes because of past trauma. 

Goddammit.",5.681734693877552,7.983243925170072,6.9276360544217725,67.21349489795921,68.93197278911565,9.525850340136056,34.01870748299319,9.928628108626363,4.0098666666666665,655,32,100,17,12,221,100,147,0.078,0.8079999999999999,0.114,0.5391,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,2,0,3,4,8,0,1,6,0,8,2,0,4,2,31,18,11,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,10,0,3,6,0,0,1,4,3,1,1,5,2,23,4,17,12,4,9,0,0,0,0,12,3,0,4,5,77,28,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123406721675345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21138645489548186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38892961554225103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18114929198341484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5088082262789949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3329515040463116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058594127733588,0.0,0.0,0.1454262047230728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18055267011823475,0.19057453449155307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192590446886167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11748943041056804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655145690412158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17639377779423332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17674307019496582,0.0,0.0,0.1714811288466824,0.0,0.1227220299413832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13036312884361126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11771629946611445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974803672307888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15589296533471808,0.16072862954132758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,2hard2chooseaname,2019/08/15,"Can’t sleep and scared I don’t have any real reason to think my mood is ramping up except that I have no desire whatsoever to sleep and it’s 1am and my mood is really reactive to sleep disturbances and I fucking cannot afford to have another episode. I’m just pulling my shit together after a year of instability including a hospitalization and I really would just like a break from the literal crazy. If I can’t sleep on mood stabilizers and antipsychotics then really what is the point? I can’t stop moving my feet and my dog is looking at me funny.
Hopefully I’ll feel stupid tomorrow when everything is normal and this is just garden variety insomnia. I just hate that I have to worry about it.",4.221725282017253,6.072595525547444,6.0628931652289335,73.7775779694758,71.84671532846716,10.529263437292633,27.783012607830127,10.637119530657019,3.39674306569343,565,21,104,19,11,195,85,137,0.183,0.7390000000000001,0.079,-0.9279,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,6,11,4,2,5,0,16,8,6,1,0,23,23,11,0,5,6,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,6,8,0,1,3,1,0,2,6,6,0,0,0,2,14,2,13,22,0,13,0,0,1,1,0,4,2,2,7,70,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247687698230603,0.1734350959009698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14864980450265328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363061873258155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15290855424138788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16329710318233834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16427835937506466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080551430572387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13889336144631265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757927819755824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620557370771331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15635535710903598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18826008031584288,0.3178761796338881,0.17005754560808625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16559308408869586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169779523379782,0.0,0.0,0.6620731210236809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382808289510184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598089251965404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16797054173199896,0.0,0.11749458415883328,0.0,0.0,0.10651142447788572
bipolarreddit,QualityOccultLinks,2019/08/15,"Does cannabis help you manage your bipolar disorder? I created [a simple survey](https://www.strawpoll.me/18482995) to see if others in the bipolar community also benefit from the regular use of marijuana in the constant pursuit of mood/emotion management.

I answered, **Yes**.",8.274142857142856,12.536572700000008,7.583571428571428,50.87000000000001,84.5,10.285714285714286,43.214285714285715,9.23628265651192,7.015678571428572,228,15,22,8,7,71,34,40,0.062,0.76,0.177,0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,1,0,2,0,1,0,3,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,6,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,1,1,17,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30264354393918297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4089662406714635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4337324970170744,0.0,0.3311810984525033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4257013955556935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25366472389254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015728774328933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268562828421859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,northernsoulll,2019/08/15,"Confused about bipolar /meds Every since I was little I always felt I was different and something was off about me. My dad is diagnosed with bipolar but doesn’t feel although the diagnosis is accurate. I’ve been to therapy on and off but once I got into my 20s I started to identify that I had anxiety , had my first panic attacks and became very unstable. I’ve tried many mood stabilizers over the past year and they all gave me horrible side effects one being the ability to stay away. My latest medication has been lexapro. Not sure how I feel about it and the ability to work. I am always very parinoid about the side effects now after my other experiences and I am loosing hope that I will ever have mental stability in my life. I am not even really sure that I am bipolar cause I’m confused as to what it really looks like.",6.015838509316772,6.574776204968945,7.252975155279504,71.73822049689444,66.45341614906832,10.663602484472053,34.112422360248445,10.577609850970193,3.799652919254658,663,29,118,17,10,226,99,161,0.163,0.76,0.077,-0.9307,1,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,4,8,9,1,3,5,0,18,6,0,4,4,26,27,11,0,1,4,1,3,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,10,4,21,4,19,15,1,19,0,0,1,0,3,10,0,3,9,88,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26283093206897906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12082066475334298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17967508521143488,0.1483861409929029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16224385407381486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603017911567673,0.0,0.16500958294207735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043152877205931,0.14286222145632985,0.13306795454933545,0.0,0.0,0.15449178648272402,0.0,0.0,0.15971444949781247,0.0,0.15164339926774129,0.0,0.0,0.13434034434460215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631590656583416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15686615817043068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155492019095767,0.0771595883739309,0.158293438011179,0.0,0.0,0.13262652541906972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16012239056334246,0.0,0.0,0.17543137470404396,0.15910397940801538,0.15916241620187427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681967649374805,0.10702157154401144,0.0,0.0,0.1853039542755518,0.0,0.0,0.15076785401308218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023557871032665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13064635294778834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12158690625978613,0.0,0.0,0.1117879664706986,0.16833884142452782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29770576236455826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18061366553219932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10722822743445568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26062760384235056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497934329399735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10170565388323433
bipolarreddit,GarrettGallows,2019/07/02,"My meds, my head, my hurt I just stopped taking my generic duloxetine 120mg cold turkey. I lost my insurance after an episode that ended with me moving my family half-way across the country looking for some sort of change. I feel awful physically from the WD and mentally from the come down and realization I tore down something stable. I have enough problems that I don't want to talk about them. Enough diagnoses that I'm tired of being analyzed. Rapid cycling bipolar with severe mania. borderline personality disorder. Schizoaffective disorder with auditory and visual hallucinations at it's worst. I don't know if I'm tired, bored, or just unhappy. I want to enjoy myself in this new town but I can't even walk outside. I don't want to talk to these people, I don't want to put in the effort to get to know someone I'll ignore or hate in the end. This even sounds stupid to me. Just a few months ago I would have robbed you blind for a thrill. It's been a month here now and I'm still unemployed. I had a decent job for 7 years but a manic episode and the way I reacted in front of people I had known so long scared me from even going back. I want to go back to school, but I'm so paranoid of people I perceive to have power over me that I won't contact any sort of student aide. I feel like a wide-eyed zombie, just shuffling my feet looking for something. Something that might actually bring me joy again. Maybe I just don't feel the same without the drugs, I've always had something to fall back on. I can make a damn calender out of it. Opioids to dissociatives to Ritalin to hallucinogens to ecstasy back to hallucinogens to alcohol to my current regiment of antidepressant antipsychotic mood stabilizing medications. Over 15 years I might have 2 full years sober and definitely not consecutive. I need my thoughts out regardless. Anyone want to add their experiences with mental health or addiction? Know any good online support groups? Have a question? I'm an open book, if not a good one.",4.2306152088772855,6.2904979321148815,5.221937826370759,78.9415490372063,72.28981723237598,8.547291122715405,28.15673955613577,9.188382445141503,2.508812075718016,1600,62,297,36,32,524,210,383,0.154,0.748,0.098,-0.877,5,0,7,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,2,3,19,18,3,1,19,1,21,13,2,2,0,61,52,16,0,12,16,0,3,1,0,4,11,1,0,1,11,15,1,2,10,1,0,9,10,10,0,1,6,8,41,7,54,41,7,46,0,2,3,0,9,16,1,11,21,188,52,5,0.0,0.0,0.085254294489921,0.09523924531436342,0.0,0.0,0.07744258129322729,0.09336514488445223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269353356868369,0.0,0.0,0.11882052004203475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061086677077397726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26870893631854553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241912999393158,0.07525602621334551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867223918314393,0.0,0.0,0.2002525634445041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131406751138583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475647960677874,0.18053995434073436,0.0,0.17310854875301404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545838785687819,0.08235864937007427,0.0,0.13252101955327694,0.06241259031004352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045643887643126414,0.0,0.09930152141997414,0.14655292543517418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625349157114126,0.08966028244103234,0.09286344680890694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352456619219733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669491620882494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14403828867896146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0426814536892796,0.0,0.0,0.0773140579040167,0.14672688182863886,0.0,0.09536771552859788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05831589728666455,0.0,0.08776850259206181,0.0,0.0970412913401063,0.08800965987498237,0.17608396932530335,0.18535799781902135,0.0,0.0,0.13946562206427215,0.09285370617669547,0.0,0.06477902007891484,0.0,0.0843763322784413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05919985248590225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18170080994321028,0.0762825465438467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359518927655041,0.0,0.0878245719296321,0.09786725277821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746622814695716,0.08841665142280566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09869602784492816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07402291495340323,0.2690271432553761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06976870283144504,0.07303990139408116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991392050003225,0.0,0.0,0.06568657257230412,0.14043914309567984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935695869822209,0.0,0.20082326773591624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091759730398046,0.1386903562859401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421541578018922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06206061177388213,0.0,0.0,0.16877792822525456
bipolarreddit,willinevitablydie,2019/07/02,"How do you deal with suicidal ideations? My emotions are a roller coaster. One day, I feel that I can do anything. Next day, I'll be dreaming of ending it all.",0.6740625000000016,3.101463281250002,1.9112500000000023,95.60875,88.0625,4.45,26.75,5.985473137389443,0.8422875000000007,123,6,26,1,4,39,28,32,0.14300000000000002,0.857,0.0,-0.6705,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,1,1,4,6,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,2,5,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28232553550000955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4425163222498613,0.35370032496801096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3859187240165817,0.30386697076344704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734715120446301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3648693788621163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324798275360365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3752737399067658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,alittlebitblue39,2018/11/15,"Personality Gone? So I recently started taking Lithium, Wellbutrin and Risperdal and, for the most part, they work fine but recently I've noticed my lack of creativity and energy. Has anyone else experienced this? My biggest fear of starting intense medication was a drastic personality change like this, and I rely on my creativity for a lot so...",6.902372881355928,9.69583550847458,8.212000000000002,57.20376271186442,66.79661016949152,10.82169491525424,40.61355932203389,10.793553405168565,5.625248135593221,281,17,39,9,5,96,44,59,0.105,0.665,0.23,0.7691,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,2,3,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,8,6,7,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,6,2,5,4,4,7,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,5,29,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599266154752979,0.2343510696134333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419558465485729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910665380095076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573740280480691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174122998118947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19444989739974008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23041173143375795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26039968122273394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476818949284017,0.0,0.0,0.3994196467140356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4516675863672034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237789400844481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17196926950783564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665111687718838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,just_being_jen,2018/11/15,"What to do? I got offered a big promotion at work. I would literally be doubling my salary, bit there's ALOT more stress that come with the job. I've been up and down the last few years and am worried that the stress will get to me and throw me in a spiral. Any thoughts?",1.705263157894734,3.3695847894736843,2.5191578947368427,97.30610526315792,78.29824561403508,5.963508771929827,21.92631578947368,6.742157984588678,0.14950105263157898,211,6,51,2,5,66,46,57,0.154,0.846,0.0,-0.8292,2,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,2,6,0,6,0,0,0,0,8,10,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,3,0,5,0,7,4,5,9,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,2,34,8,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18634387080044132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29916027298793857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360450740443357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431648119161852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191598544177028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27192384378316536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22336392090039567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6277809136743436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21754229229430871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19949075949688272,0.27828191683977554,0.0,0.1946568592377388,0.0,0.0,0.17646072378770253
bipolarreddit,roboraptor3000,2018/11/15,"Best tracking app? I usually track my mood by hand in my journal, but it got stolen, so I'm looking for something else. Anyone have ones they like? I really don't like Daylio, and I found viewing the data from DBSA tracker too cumbersome.",3.569565217391304,5.657084434782611,4.542826086956524,82.9755434782609,74.21739130434783,7.208695652173913,28.89130434782609,8.07648339933343,2.148452173913044,188,8,34,3,4,61,41,46,0.083,0.6940000000000001,0.223,0.7399,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,1,2,4,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,3,6,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,6,3,4,4,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,3,20,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24032575243070575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3606960292548087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871204982047371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3768535766218347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748913999581325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33583272043807844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886247047993877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23290265198801224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22018551391805627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646000475079606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3785412783363064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wozattacks,2018/11/15,"Adderall, dying?! I was prescribed Adderall a couple weeks ago, been taking it only as needed. I took 5 mg twice today, last time about 4 hours ago, I think I’m massively anxious? I don’t have a history of anxiety so I’m not sure. It feels like hypomania if hypomania made you feel like you were dying. I was able to focus well at work, had some pressured speech and jitters, but once I was done with everything I felt like I can’t stop my thoughts and they’re generally bad ones. Bipolar has been stable with no changes to meds since June. Help.",1.779166666666665,4.267795249999999,3.3255555555555567,87.25000000000004,82.6111111111111,6.192592592592592,23.814814814814817,7.492282038375204,1.231837037037037,429,16,85,7,12,141,82,108,0.154,0.7120000000000001,0.134,-0.3104,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,0,1,3,7,0,1,2,0,12,1,0,1,1,18,23,6,2,2,3,0,3,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,4,0,1,5,0,0,1,4,2,1,2,12,4,11,5,8,11,1,11,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,12,46,13,1,0.16527370646067274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29301033746513044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643393306838696,0.186712245010352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799664140733098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748376669239711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182872212642597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430560279061455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691323835145253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485373504567404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16713470381151802,0.2361431378375053,0.1586886765804671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107794816203766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16276130901084102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13472012955320267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24223315403792986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563859772041307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835818295877444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12254835916505838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17601110343035276,0.11199374081489433,0.12569810128178627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136716117875626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13817621906781166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557685124052101,0.0,0.1242652586918732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590071764022403,0.0,0.13120886167761592,0.09637242733315836,0.0,0.15666014877745904,0.0,0.18362516908612006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257259816645836,0.0,0.14860091068235615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032122670371352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,brunob92,2018/11/15,"Severe issues with focus I work as a freelancer and am at the beginning of my translator carrer: I need to build a good reputation on these websites where I get jobs, so my profile gets attractive and I get more jobs. However, I can't seem to produce much and this is risking to ruin my reputation: I should work at least 6 hours/day or 30 hours/week, but I struggle hard to get to work 2h a day. My brain just doesn't focus on whatever I'm doing for much time, I get anxious and unquiet to keep working and just crash, my productivity is gone. 

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The more I worry about that - as it's ruining my reputation -, the worst it gets, but it's a cycle: I can't stop worrying. Things are getting bad. I consulted my doctor about Ritalin, but she says it's going to make my anxiety crisis worst.

​

I really need some tricks to get over this and increase my productivity. I'm working on really relevant jobs that I can't let down.",6.6087096774193546,6.001437612903228,7.904860215053768,71.51729032258065,65.34408602150539,11.526021505376345,34.72903225806452,11.00357731598739,3.807016774193549,740,30,142,19,10,256,103,186,0.24600000000000002,0.687,0.067,-0.9898,4,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,6,6,10,1,2,7,0,11,3,1,2,0,22,29,13,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,10,7,0,2,1,0,0,3,4,8,0,0,1,2,23,2,22,26,9,15,0,2,0,0,3,8,0,3,4,95,33,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23659699961199346,0.2653358211507305,0.0,0.0,0.08352382413496973,0.12334442453557833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116229265673544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188306448412113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140826534753133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175226024705316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4563441247101687,0.0,0.062050567193538464,0.0915765641562038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780550114949774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395749560982901,0.32503844734478465,0.09704585386306892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11164584925274924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07287973942984947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605224596032082,0.16191393165622775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398893906866951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682579739295909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993950648539638,0.0,0.12334442453557833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128092388625232,0.0,0.11414058610309813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725355764085744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06366482064337131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757910242641907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3974284725236304,0.2217589574965915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653358211507305,0.0
bipolarreddit,slayerbizkit,2018/11/15,"Concerned about long-term Seroquel side-effects, what type of bloodwork should I be asking for, from my doctor? I've been taking seroquel for 8 years. I'm not 100% sure what this medication has done to my body in my 8 years of taking it, but I'm getting fat/lethargic, and God knows what else. I work out 3 times a week, no more weight gain, but no weight loss either(except sweat/water). What types of tests should I be asking my doctor for? I'm really pushing for them to let me see an endocrinologist, but I have to give them a solid reason so they can feel comfortable giving me the referral. (This is VA healthcare, this is how shit gets done sadly). 

​

Backstory:

I've been taking seroquel for insomnia/depression/anxiety since 2010. I've put on about 50 lbs. since starting. Doc mentioned that my blood sugar is slightly elevated (but within normal range). I'm very concerned about the weight gain and blood sugar, since alot of the literature I'm reading says that this medication leads to diabetes in the long run. If this pill is going to fuck me up royally as I get older, I have to work to get off of it, but I need to know if anything is out of whack healthwise now, from taking this medication, as a starting point. 

​

​",5.227696283534336,6.598140920502093,5.593359586512432,80.00127738124539,68.6652719665272,8.301353679547132,29.121585035687914,8.671277953709913,2.2208654196406603,996,36,183,16,17,318,134,239,0.081,0.826,0.09300000000000001,0.5878,0,0,0,0,0,0,52.0,0,0,3,6,7,6,2,0,9,0,18,17,4,3,1,24,44,13,0,6,8,0,4,0,0,2,7,2,0,0,14,4,5,0,4,1,0,5,3,4,0,0,4,9,18,2,34,35,2,23,0,2,1,1,9,9,2,3,9,109,32,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29513231963366976,0.33098127409283523,0.0,0.0,0.0694586998202399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747173806506469,0.0,0.16976402726525175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085389961639872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18586712902872304,0.0,0.1858316857083434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758484164187763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04590919122681153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393944901125408,0.1897486729160837,0.17419961415826335,0.051601465390365496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997982261415767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284507276500163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16070322492844927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744022862761446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732409161158219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08896081286527076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583157816646181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127506898275993,0.0,0.0,0.0908205815917932,0.0,0.058166249548404624,0.09335342126127613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220463215411539,0.0,0.0,0.07235266528954715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320080041692558,0.22532219543408355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12853176768154567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557416574826196,0.0,0.2730692019806007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052943884118997225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749162179214601,0.0,0.0,0.07283108321444545,0.33169524207179435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322011546235116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33098127409283523,0.11693930831317208
bipolarreddit,celticsjavi,2018/11/15,"I think I need to split up with my girlfriend I feel the saddest I’ve been in a couple of years. Today I self harmed for the first time in my life and got disgusted within seconds. My girlfriend know about my mental health problems, but I don’t want her to endure this any longer. She has a good life with her supportive friends and family. My mind is probably playing games, but I just feel that I can’t be productive to a loved one’s happiness if I can’t take care of myself. I love her but I think I should just leave. Thanks for reading.",2.855315315315316,4.4191136306306324,3.6776576576576585,90.66261261261265,74.85585585585585,7.095495495495496,24.04504504504505,7.793537801064563,1.041818018018018,427,13,92,6,9,136,74,111,0.079,0.613,0.308,0.987,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,3,12,1,0,5,0,8,5,0,0,0,20,22,6,0,5,6,0,2,0,3,1,3,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,5,3,0,0,3,3,0,3,2,2,21,9,14,18,0,8,0,0,0,2,11,4,0,1,4,61,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458007764391177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18678130438390825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20270372846324972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17270159951398675,0.0,0.1852595707605285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15582706891804093,0.0,0.0,0.14153736092724584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15365674904635573,0.146519182855362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19501635560778105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947295872740196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068014728417336,0.0,0.0,0.1939789153842416,0.0,0.0,0.2587945761424034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3306844534648735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846192439036124,0.0,0.18497650223198625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358380749094983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413886450913955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19751709018271765,0.1752945563114169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18324633382008845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19111417250550347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20788951019784416,0.0,0.0,0.13774116303017592,0.0,0.0,0.1686629616673794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347701709560549,0.0,0.0,0.10682350292148456,0.0,0.17364910611576115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080541944362942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11797270592342332
bipolarreddit,ReasonsAsWhatMatters,2019/04/08,"Bipolar/ADHD comorbidity I have bipolar 1 and haven't had a manic episode since October, though I had a depressive one in February. I also have ADHD, which has been causing serious dysfunction in my life and schoolwork. I've heard that bipolar has to get treated first, which makes sense, but what counts as stable enough to be able to be prescribed ADHD medication?",10.693636363636363,9.224560484848489,10.15363636363637,61.45045454545455,57.78787878787878,13.042424242424245,44.72727272727273,11.855464076750405,5.5243090909090915,296,15,46,7,3,96,48,66,0.08,0.8740000000000001,0.046,-0.0129,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,10,4,0,2,0,5,13,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,4,1,4,1,6,7,1,3,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,34,8,0,0.21050127758521944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7589448871789455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683377956328831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21624279732559215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18130444193360587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21750409028393491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17905227917936015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997822941844408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486832776208018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14051123735734267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21205789130952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426411135076278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741288320786751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20681643645411532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Midna0802,2019/04/08,"Weight gain on Seroquel So, I don't actually have Biopolar disorder, but I do have very bad depression, anxiety, and I am diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. As a result of all of these, my doctor prescribed me Seroquel. (Sorry if this doesn't belong here - I just noticed that a lot of questions about Seroquel are located in this sub). 

​

I have heard a number of stories now about how Seroquel has made people gain 15, 30, even up to 50 pounds! Everyone has said it causes them to have really bad cravings. I am already *very* self conscious about my weight, and currently sit at about 235lbs. I really do not want to gain any more (in fact, if by some rare chance I lost weight on Seroquel, that would be ideal), so I am trying to prep myself and my house before I start taking it. I plan on having my husband hide all of the snacks in our house so I cannot find them, and I'll be stocking up on veggies and fruit to eat. I'll also be taking it at night, close to bedtime, so I am hoping that will also help mitigate some of the cravings (I really don't think I'll be getting out of bed to eat...). 

​

Does this sound like I am doing the right thing? I mean, I'd love to lose weight in general, so if this did help with that in one way or another I'd count that as a success.",3.4297126436781578,4.820586865900385,4.780726053639847,84.03062931034484,73.06130268199233,7.82536398467433,26.843103448275862,8.395991825355821,1.8004082758620692,1016,36,204,17,20,338,142,261,0.11800000000000001,0.7390000000000001,0.14300000000000002,0.8397,1,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,1,0,2,8,16,10,0,0,7,0,27,11,0,4,3,36,40,20,0,7,7,1,4,1,0,2,2,3,1,2,14,9,8,0,5,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,5,8,25,5,38,29,6,22,0,3,0,1,12,16,0,9,5,141,39,3,0.0,0.0,0.09631453437252686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089151587020762,0.15785672929038144,0.0,0.21387742591730532,0.23985655999204836,0.06711769260552047,0.10349294687050616,0.07550332649210602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648165997550062,0.0,0.0,0.08398431325123094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138953224997804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08500802241664335,0.10017589705939696,0.0,0.0,0.2262317988842485,0.1010210856489194,0.08637085781518207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20198438916428696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518877580226189,0.0,0.0,0.0943097022538394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902077378629159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05156537640246827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323097236069596,0.0,0.0,0.0980288991132758,0.0,0.2277673548093084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0482186189331674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11041727002231576,0.10773999327851357,0.08390909520049081,0.0890783579398603,0.09338997220978544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751052467683772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262092900897484,0.0,0.0,0.11236777151379998,0.0,0.0,0.06687998840663723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842442760800453,0.08617886049118383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056380136681623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896844603414867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428713592827151,0.09388393536394304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10296303008773776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11048378413979404,0.06985860694904199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484164918537121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06557024136035366,0.0632413804244568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700913193684029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16287156759100505,0.058214349710406975,0.07834149099210116,0.0,0.4807479211452619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701118807168391,0.0,0.23985655999204836,0.0
bipolarreddit,purse_full_of_pills,2019/04/08,"Life changing I posted awhile back about meds change. The effectiveness of meds hits me quick so the change was pretty much overnight. Prior to the change my body hurt all the time. I was always exhausted, I longed for my couch. I had no motivation to clean my disaster of a house or car. 2 days after taking the new meds I cleaned out my car. It’s still covered in dog hair, but not trash. I just went to the store and bought black hefty bags and am going to throw out all the stuff that’s been accumulating in my house over the years. I’ve been out with friends. I’ve been socializing more with coworkers and the brain fog has lifted, making conversation easier. It has been years since I’ve felt this way. It’s amazing. I want to do as much as I possibly can while this lasts. I can’t help but feel it’ll be taken away and I want to be productive, but not overly manic-productive. I’ve got all the windows open when I usually have the blinds drawn. It’s a beautiful day and my house needs airing out. 

The best part is my father, who was against meds for years, pointed out the fact that meds can plateau and you might need to switch them up. And then if those stop working you might need to switch back to the original meds. I was blown away. He did all of this research on his own. My shitty mother stayed silent, then started talking about herself, as usual. But I didn’t care. I’m lucky to have my dad and to have a successful meds switch. 

Just wanted to share. I wish the feeling and relief I have right now for all of you.",2.4512337662337664,4.456134512987016,3.105194805194806,92.39207792207796,77.24675324675326,6.477922077922077,21.064935064935067,7.447530270364453,0.4931935064935074,1202,31,262,16,28,376,171,308,0.048,0.757,0.195,0.9942,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,3,1,5,11,10,0,0,18,0,28,6,3,4,6,51,49,23,0,8,10,3,4,0,1,3,3,0,4,0,13,17,0,1,5,0,2,5,5,2,0,0,16,6,31,8,41,27,11,50,0,1,2,0,17,17,0,5,25,171,44,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06751537751789563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15246829965858422,0.12478403777715327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851519254311662,0.0,0.0,0.09012877897125464,0.0,0.09057960793847793,0.0,0.0,0.08272812479762955,0.0,0.3433434664732723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465779113172094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205412710006044,0.0,0.07790758316811455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06268893183361399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04611400338956142,0.0,0.06489545238206063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054386751869367096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808756515905311,0.08686255962089916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06614031904326323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057311919045316635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180676946867874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05416189896566168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6309014527987825,0.0,0.0,0.1721544487432063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119295174581642,0.1804939083777629,0.0,0.07836597903129723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786723032368883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670397839590483,0.0914736970846816,0.07771014838681724,0.08254903640219427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06929352465625424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712024167909747,0.0,0.0,0.082712498806955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05743164778068269,0.08648495319964343,0.06479889034625423,0.06783707263084081,0.0,0.0,0.09288643433693336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06100754121252805,0.06521764247046688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047313665091686115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17872954560717147,0.0,0.14357626816642796,0.06440553446125626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521803578785648,0.0,0.0,0.09330754501023032,0.0,0.0,0.05907123418195397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15675542213187107
bipolarreddit,PositiveRush,2019/04/08,"Do you still know what you are doing when you are in a manic episode ? I'm not bipolar. My ex-girlfriend is. She broke up when she got into a manic episode. The break up was 4 months ago and I had a bad gut feeling tonight and wasn't able to sleep. I usually don't care about this stuff, but I couldn't stop thinking about her the whole day. So I decided to text her, because I thought that her manic episode might be over and that she might be depressed now.

So I messaged her, and asked her if everything is fine. Her answer was ""Yes everything is going really, really well. I feel like I will be happy forever. I found a new boyfriend and I haven't been this happy since 3 years."" (3 years ago was when she was in her last manic episode. Before our relationship.""

I couldn't believe it. We were best friends for 3 years and dated for 2 years. I was always there for her and even saved her life multiple times. And now she is happier with a guy that she knows since 1 or 2 months.

It hurt me. It really hurt me. Maybe mor than the break up. But am I right with the assumption that she just didn't think of it hurting me ? Am I right with the assumption that she only thinks like this because her manic episodes are better than the depressive ones ? Or did she know what she was doing ? Did she know that it will hurt me but she just didn't care ?",1.5605925925925916,3.637696854545453,2.5851313131313134,94.66940067340069,80.45454545454545,6.110437710437712,21.094276094276093,7.242747475848597,0.4454902356902353,1045,30,234,14,27,331,132,275,0.114,0.7120000000000001,0.175,0.9669,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,2,3,0,2,15,20,0,0,11,1,37,4,2,0,0,41,54,19,0,3,9,0,2,2,1,4,2,0,0,1,17,13,0,1,13,0,0,1,8,8,1,1,17,2,46,12,20,28,2,34,0,7,0,0,32,9,0,5,24,162,63,0,0.10162866106219334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801753522182213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845631873060391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500907923234436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485568695492295,0.12390377700076942,0.0,0.08647850525934872,0.11450069919422065,0.10665300979464952,0.08988229194396972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20723438629621915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554207885575553,0.0,0.17506523370986254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712477214884867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18267457501760986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10277300926528574,0.07260353576919758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11143058126155242,0.07851805143585677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05775791011505772,0.0,0.08128172420630762,0.0,0.0,0.10062835248690248,0.0,0.2163711989559568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4351823344041657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234098172027344,0.08284092296238976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178332882480075,0.0993012606660645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10209964985744599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21562389828570444,0.0,0.0,0.1622380553317194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815359414213748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06886621090616335,0.07729317630065757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953177678811056,0.0,0.0,0.1091111485161316,0.0,0.17358064251508626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16813655726450405,0.0,0.10170205606579248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811607800033609,0.08496611127819953,0.0,0.0,0.11634050247208072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19535862726952893,0.0,0.0806818048517816,0.05926048954140785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11192961217091914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137637140644644,0.0,0.0,0.11346477070721782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617821027900609
bipolarreddit,newandimproving,2019/04/08,"Tired of ""Surviving"" Episodes, Feeling Demoralized Hi BipolarReddit,

I'm having a rough time lately and I was hoping you could offer me some advice. I was diagnosed with BPD about four months ago, and have had developing symptoms for about a year. I have a therapist, my toolbox of coping skills is extensive but that's all I'm doing: coping. I have recently decided to pursue getting medicated and getting my moods stabilized. The medicine has not started to affect me yet (which I understand is normal) and I'm getting very demoralized. I'm tired of ""surviving"" with BPD. I want to thrive, and feel happy. I don't want to be constantly worried and unsure of my decision making skills because I'm manic or depressive. I know that eventually I will find a medication that works for me, and I will be able to cope better and thrive. I'm just feeling extremely demoralized and defeated lately. I need to find ways to imporve my morale and will to keep fighting through this. Please help me.

Sincerely,

NewandImproving",4.928582449373192,7.636872530054648,5.8246287367406,72.47603664416587,72.33333333333334,9.55178399228544,32.076181292189005,9.916854025145753,3.903711282545805,815,39,130,24,17,267,108,183,0.161,0.7020000000000001,0.13699999999999998,-0.7795,0,0,0,0,2,0,26.0,0,1,0,7,4,8,1,0,5,0,18,6,0,2,1,36,39,12,0,6,4,0,4,0,0,3,6,0,0,0,5,12,0,1,9,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,4,20,4,19,30,2,11,1,2,0,0,5,0,0,3,10,85,25,1,0.13631749006506788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320787361224268,0.1208372300159841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309787669046677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205617422392241,0.0,0.0,0.3433742134339767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473107790847791,0.0,0.1088384235618362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11741005444506808,0.13835938295542055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20677865657756053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491834326398296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213660786786244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14511250298769265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137074014124816,0.0,0.0,0.13539402582110166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116524858015995,0.0,0.0,0.07491652752941208,0.0,0.3075441327306587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099298314109083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746510598264844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880732002522107,0.0,0.0,0.10107769161060304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335621973201264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496356687174596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13459707597471715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964862210903259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14168606721233484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582751126351727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948782469315728,0.3133538034338316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14191131465222934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247620562614996,0.1608071750095184,0.10820247855677156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924075630084032,0.13843702816950992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778399425743293
bipolarreddit,sunshine3881,2019/04/08,"Bipolar and PPD Hi everyone. I’m really, really struggling today. I was diagnosed with bipolar ll in 2010. I gave birth to my first child in June of 2016. While pregnant I was on a very low dose of my medications I had taken before I became pregnant. We were not trying to get pregnant but ended up conceiving on our wedding night. After giving birth I started suffering from PPD. I hated my daughter, wanted absolutely nothing to do with her. I sought treatment at a private hospital that had a mother-baby ppd program. I had my tubes tied to prevent another pregnancy and I thought that was a great idea. I thought I was one and done.  After the tubal ligation I had a lot of other complications which lead to my having a full hysterectomy. 

I guess the reason that I’m struggling is because I so badly want to have another child.  I want my daughter to have a sibling. I want to bless my home with another little blessing. My daughter is now the biggest joy in my life.  Of course I still struggle with my bipolar. I’m on a constant roller coaster. I do know that if you have ppd with an early pregnancy you are bound to have it with one that follows. 

I honestly don’t know why I’m posting this and not sure if I will go through with posting it.  I can’t talk to my husband about this because he definitely does not want another child.  I’m just so heart broken today",3.1515049751243787,5.266450518656715,4.791865671641791,80.59635572139305,75.52985074626865,7.451741293532338,30.196517412935318,8.344100000000001,2.5005741293532333,1081,51,197,20,24,364,142,268,0.121,0.745,0.134,0.2129,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,2,2,0,2,6,13,1,3,12,0,23,8,1,2,1,36,46,10,0,7,7,4,0,0,0,1,7,0,1,3,11,12,0,2,6,1,0,3,5,7,0,3,14,0,38,6,34,31,2,33,2,2,0,0,18,12,0,4,16,139,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4710985179411648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378037130133783,0.13693533845224728,0.0,0.09557386928132004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137525166122955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399983782749396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982897490612356,0.11493973739733228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994799146860855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10732412764042636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553715749811703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05868122692137789,0.10774512338811787,0.06383258978336707,0.0,0.0,0.123830374648771,0.1237303234730962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089021932621268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330967077606773,0.0,0.0,0.11266355060956992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679271898035085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345345587011912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933312983503328,0.0,0.11257158221509407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548827138963367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314800489337505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10540230930195099,0.0,0.1077716133623136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15221840894004002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151381211505552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14390685685269347,0.11548103526062845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07949886246911707,0.0,0.08969685305670377,0.0,0.0,0.3522557265734803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585785843365904,0.0,0.0,0.09027650415183792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17833500352855705,0.0,0.0,0.21292760129004776,0.0,0.0,0.07625616937806459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267365123306673,0.33123868220937913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134902017629813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,muhtingly,2019/04/08,"Jitterbug blues Just upped my dosage of Vraylar and my psych warned it might make me restless. This feeling is so irritating! I stand up and I want to sit down. I sit down and immediately jump back up. My legs won't stop bouncing when I sit still. My arms feel like there is some weird energy thrumming through them. This constant need to move is making it impossible to get work done! 

​

I have a follow-up appointment next week and I can't wait. I'm hoping this feeling goes away by then, otherwise I am likely off to Abilifytown and I haven't heard great things about that medication. Has anyone else experienced this jitteryness? I'm losing my mind!",3.004685714285717,5.815988879999999,3.751342857142859,84.07010000000002,80.2,7.091428571428572,24.128571428571423,8.192908349453996,1.676097142857143,530,19,100,11,14,168,89,125,0.145,0.769,0.086,-0.8593,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,2,7,7,0,1,1,0,11,3,2,2,0,19,24,8,0,3,1,0,3,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,8,5,0,2,3,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,2,6,15,4,15,20,1,21,0,1,1,0,2,7,0,3,10,63,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20261312071165336,0.2272240089608196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307539082784494,0.19160236818695356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756915273907015,0.14379053377088494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020792693006893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19136469608890885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15621350149709648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28365663455030304,0.133591979450448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976991544457314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20616683618582704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18573200125335493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18271633514483154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092038237671021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24964630095478876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883816168348897,0.0,0.19837617468370086,0.18881547973873447,0.0,0.0,0.19875012951447532,0.0,0.13865724008910335,0.0,0.0,0.19887534431178897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14933748252783136,0.15633936931040407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423369292815704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102967366886636,0.0,0.1499991570547609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613735289920634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272240089608196,0.0
bipolarreddit,kittiestitties3,2019/04/08,"Depressive Episode Well, long time lurker on this sub. Please excuse my poor manners. On mobile. This post is all over the place. Mainly to get it off my chest, maybe just something to leave behind. I’m trying not to be over dramatic. 

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 2 about 5 years ago. My post can be triggering to some. 


Around December I started noticing downs more often. I’ve been really stressed, and it started then. I couldn’t afford rent and medication took out some loans. Now I’m even further behind. I’ve been fighting to stay positive. It’s been really hard. Like really hard. Ive honestly thought of selling my body just to get on top.

Also, my owners of the company I work for. just recently said everyone is replaceable. I’m passionate at my job and have been there three years. To hear how unimportant I am hurt. I took it to heart. 

I feel so awkward in my own skin, so unhappy... So alone. I don’t know where to seek help. Not just from a clinic. I hate doctors and in my past they gave me lethal mixes and have killed me once. (honestly I wished I had stayed dead) 

The thought of suicide sounds better and better. They’ll find me when they evict me. So I have about 9 days to think about it. 

I’m tired of the swings, feeling alone and unimportant. Like there is nothing left of this world. Deep down no one cares. I struggle on for family(to save face) but idk if that will keep me on this plane anymore. All I do is work work work. No enjoyment from life. No ease. No partnership. Nothing other then my little kitty and a small apt... Now I’m loosing everything. What little I had is going to be gone.  I just rather be dead then continue this path. It sucks... I feel like I’m working towards nothing. I will never get on top. Life keeps punishing me. I can’t keep up this pain. Loosing everything sucks. It’s hard to find any sliver lining at this point. 

I’m tired.... 90% of me at this points wants to end it all. With death comes peace. A peace I’ve tasted before. No more rent/bills, no more feeling inadequate and alone, like I don’t belong. Im afraid I’m at the end of my road. ",0.5579948909253076,3.05007295454546,2.0783140053523645,92.78082515611062,92.1818181818182,5.609017922309628,19.76417160003244,7.134242097396668,0.6367465250182467,1637,53,340,29,59,528,217,418,0.19,0.6890000000000001,0.121,-0.9819,5,4,1,0,2,2,77.0,0,0,3,9,25,26,6,4,8,0,30,17,5,2,4,50,68,21,6,5,10,0,8,4,0,3,10,3,1,0,19,14,1,3,10,0,4,5,13,13,1,2,14,12,41,13,52,46,10,64,0,2,0,1,10,35,2,4,24,204,60,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718092716192762,0.0,0.0,0.2517015604807898,0.0,0.06478258017730225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05508865313602559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08033880325486932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211486447013223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893238611101835,0.0,0.0,0.1432911180470525,0.0,0.0899823370006448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825937074699069,0.0,0.0,0.0697817704045734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05224387115219405,0.0,0.06977262296863844,0.08222206442838023,0.0,0.0,0.09284291975234256,0.08291577571724087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14349922088531974,0.0,0.0,0.05350544273981146,0.0,0.0,0.0774072271131127,0.14561068441245742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16384160977851975,0.05787258863527156,0.0,0.0,0.14808085881387878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12697101274741346,0.0,0.04603907698307776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21770348928861005,0.07997926077503706,0.0,0.0,0.09130262486065348,0.09599562849609956,0.054298383834098816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672142462996406,0.0,0.08750323240228301,0.0,0.08038857540760136,0.21601260418561985,0.08962405778252455,0.0,0.04452023001041084,0.0,0.0,0.08577645308464908,0.08801612443823956,0.0,0.11443759634942198,0.1583069184883732,0.16238387811919994,0.0,0.07169009724761742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138406722764682,0.0,0.0,0.08160768230533437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062478857227849724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23318992481819645,0.09222887361420938,0.0,0.08627155781316312,0.054893551015363896,0.0,0.08619890454291436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773319132427482,0.0,0.0,0.0846367870381146,0.08892316033264523,0.15315869830016862,0.0,0.15516776861568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15568862747505846,0.0,0.07998625909043355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705776747581321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06236440883160727,0.0,0.0,0.1146766647477147,0.17268886349336454,0.0,0.0,0.0927951234732568,0.08468781943771439,0.0,0.08861030397618153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05190706555606155,0.0,0.12862362288750612,0.04723678946514499,0.1862150297614139,0.0,0.0,0.18000715957142507,0.054999549044556166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04778099476071868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728364961480651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931559381547949,0.0,0.0,0.29487627380927106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433381643427513
bipolarreddit,salsiladox,2019/08/30,"Narcolepsy w/o cataplexy and stimulant causing (possibly) bipolar symptoms? Recently started taking a stimulant to help treat my narcolepsy. I was fine for a few days, then I started having trouble sleeping, remembering to eat or drink water, impulse bought a bunch of crap, and felt unable to stop moving for about a week. Today I felt normal.

I have an OCD and ADHD diagnosis and have been taking 200mg of Zoloft for two months. Since I started taking Zoloft, I have random bits where I show the symptoms above but stimulants have made them SO MUCH WORSE. When I tried talking to my med provider, she brushed it off and said it was just my Menstrual cycle reacting with my meds.

When off my Zoloft I get really depressed and suicidal for about a week, then feel normal for a couple of weeks, then feel restless and irritable for a few days, then feel normal, repeat.

Does this really sound like just my cycle or should I find a new med provider? My grandma has bipolar II, so I was curious if this sounded like it too.",8.205714285714286,7.833092878306882,7.951370370370372,71.71816666666669,62.01587301587302,11.157883597883597,36.88941798941799,10.577609850970193,3.9538630687830687,810,34,139,17,10,259,110,189,0.152,0.769,0.078,-0.9575,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,0,10,8,1,1,10,0,11,12,2,6,0,33,26,19,1,5,6,0,5,2,0,1,7,3,0,0,5,8,3,1,7,2,1,1,0,4,0,1,9,9,20,4,18,16,5,24,0,1,0,0,5,3,1,4,22,92,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380036993189953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253649410247898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11796234411544243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12705753697638025,0.0,0.14811208081407953,0.0,0.09890316456102892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048876471804284,0.0,0.0,0.11248997245440898,0.0,0.11750005889069587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17418494179105648,0.0,0.2205101814102402,0.0,0.10495280902790846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059994089534145124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07696832601743572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11220056337456694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865520132375107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3826517123182076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09165644568314073,0.12204643052092802,0.0844134791461815,0.0,0.0,0.11090381417232092,0.0,0.0,0.33752792407226323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12945390370332965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14712645436274344,0.0,0.11338106278443985,0.0,0.13008033906485356,0.0,0.10922990613082548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949888063978249,0.0,0.11491322376366715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438324208468803,0.0,0.0,0.09600326812787437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256057046887612,0.0,0.0,0.23870528785186496,0.2590142724195003,0.09229624118411008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10884569261990072,0.0,0.0,0.07796223244152849,0.0,0.11217251242567282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763298078507413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702188052393493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,outinthestix,2019/08/30,"Nothing to see here, move along. I'll just leave this here for posterity - old news. (Due to a mysterious disappearance at r/movies.)

[Midsommar's Portrayal Of Bipolar: Why Do Horror Films Always Get Mental Health Wrong?](https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/midsommar-slammed-for-villainising-bipolar-disorder-heres-why-its-problematic_uk_5d2709a8e4b0583e482c8699?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly90LmNvL0c4N25JU2lkNEM&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAHWBtEgoE01crtMHQZ7OhRiz4kJcFGg-jnjI8gCaPRR9B2TLE56xX3LGxn_Uh-wYNIXWIaJcRf7zIeuW6cDtnn_DbVrpY41O6UHs3wq-lzQj5itLWXulWvUjjku3qDMe8EuVAZ2zM4K3ODDaZTYbUBSIp-PwFhbIfIDmNeJ2ffX-)

[Midsommar takes a step forward and a step back in its portrayal of mental illness](https://www.polygon.com/2019/7/16/20694958/midsommar-mental-illness-stereotypes-bi-polar-disorder-anxiety)

[Midsommar Sacrifices Writing For Visuals](http://myspiltmilk.com/midsommar-sacrifices-writing-visuals)

[New Horror Film 'Midsommar' Criticized for Its Portrayal of Bipolar Disorder](https://themighty.com/2019/07/horror-film-midsommar-stigma-bipolar-disorder/)

[Midsommar Madness: the problematic portrayal of Bipolar Disorder in Film](https://canadiandimension.com/articles/view/midsommar-madness-the-problematic-portrayal-of-bipolar-disorder-in-film)

[Midsommar, Bipolar, and Me](https://nobutlisten.com/2019/07/16/midsommar-bipolar-and-me/)

The hurtful stereotyping in Midsommar is lazy and unnecessary.

[""The characters that do appear in movies greatly effect how people worldwide perceive gender relations, race, and cultural communities.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stereotype#Role_in_art_and_culture) Because approximately 85% of worldwide ticket sales are directed toward Hollywood movies, the American movie industry has been greatly responsible for portraying characters of different cultures and diversity to fit into stereotypical categories. This has led to the spread and persistence of gender, racial, ethnic, and cultural stereotypes""

One of those stereotypes is that people with bipolar disorder are extraordinarily homicidal. And [it just isn't true](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/comments/c8r2mq/new_scary_movie_midsommar_huge_suicide_trigger/esr1yw9/).

> ""*The problem isn't the movies, it's the people who can't or won't separate reality from fictional entertainment*.""

One of the things we celebrated in June was the decline of homophobia. Someone who says that the problem isn't the movies wouldn't be saying that if this movie had a gay person killing his parents, supposedly because he was gay.

Not asking for much, just a little equality.

http://www.outsmartmagazine.com/2018/08/was-brandon-woodruff-railroaded/

~",19.545,25.15592645541402,12.758081528662428,25.96430700636944,39.222929936305725,15.72463694267516,51.09503184713376,13.600736892100489,9.639490598726113,2313,121,169,84,25,624,180,314,0.14300000000000002,0.8240000000000001,0.033,-0.981,2,0,0,0,0,1,201.0,1,0,0,2,7,8,2,0,17,0,19,8,0,3,0,28,24,11,1,4,6,1,0,0,0,2,6,2,0,1,15,12,0,0,2,4,1,7,7,5,0,2,4,3,2,3,30,17,2,22,1,1,1,2,14,11,0,3,6,105,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10314117362134634,0.2686121622378978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948258643857073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11588196056569,0.0,0.0,0.09531437561861067,0.0,0.15112463689107286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12950745111650785,0.4261923323929693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06476180079628192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2733234622472123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317592421249467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326972709391873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13713875122535527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13125131746559598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423629779424886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3747549409251905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317454216351619,0.09112179155372864,0.0,0.0,0.11971730510032914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893895411245065,0.0,0.13007078335276054,0.0,0.1679913456906701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376382709129137,0.0,0.0,0.2578060780025893,0.1082334423862262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372179617031684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971492894161801,0.0,0.0,0.09877674135057504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502736554900652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319935149210916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08235074007798936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185084906881253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552623221412186,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CollinsBrownIV,2019/08/30,"try Vraylar Ask your doctor about Vraylar. It's amazing. I was diagnosed with Bipolar I by two psychologists and a psychiatrist in the past 6 months and because I (thankfully) experimented with Lithium Orotate (unsuccessfully) my psychiatrist prescribed Vraylar. It's been difficult to find the appropriate dose, but after several months of trial and error (too much, too little) we've settled on something that works great for me. No weight gain, no grogginess, essentially no side effects at all. I feel like I did in High School again, I feel like myself again, thanks to this drug. 

​

I decided to make this post because I've seen so many other posts about the negative side effects of so many of the meds we have to take, and I thought this might help at least one person. 

​

P.S. my symptoms are mostly manic, not so much depressive, so your mileage may vary, but it's worth bringing up in your next appointment!",8.150120481927711,8.98242160240964,7.588819277108435,70.22093975903616,61.891566265060256,10.495421686746988,38.286746987951815,10.355215969177356,4.175098313253013,750,36,122,16,10,235,111,166,0.1,0.727,0.17300000000000001,0.9385,0,0,2,0,0,0,34.0,1,3,0,4,10,8,0,0,5,0,7,7,0,3,1,22,17,10,0,0,3,0,3,2,0,2,6,0,0,1,8,7,1,0,7,0,1,1,5,2,0,2,5,4,16,6,21,10,5,21,0,1,1,0,7,11,0,3,9,83,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726352557417574,0.30575155042334523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761756314928948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153388080734733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10836199207214868,0.1276968861805383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877427060419205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459023823766046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306861908373375,0.0,0.0,0.12722900805870685,0.17976073491486216,0.0,0.0,0.11499020795046674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387085592274753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432936570559775,0.13292765458171474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293111765279345,0.12609702605925174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08398072008704557,0.255107950262721,0.0,0.0,0.139749157675784,0.0,0.0,0.13346702061544138,0.0,0.0,0.20084443373597333,0.0,0.18497310573670572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380286075929368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08525370391496732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120102123342867,0.0,0.1098544905745757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24098690571147136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12732881426263348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213214361435478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685649310378422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307672035803394,0.09459522911145447,0.0,0.0,0.2316622155723617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988095194509042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541832661525138,0.0,0.12290038398805005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320554736739006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09159288868686344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30575155042334523,0.0
bipolarreddit,ThatwarriorDrake,2019/08/30,"Am I bipolar? Hi. I'm a 18 year old guy who recently realized I might have OCD, and even more recently I realized that I might be bipolar. Let me explain how I feel: I tend to change my opinions a lot on some things, like (for example) one moment I'm a pacifist who thinks killing is always wrong, and the moment later I think killing bad people is right. I noticed this happens a lot with my political views too, one second before I'm a progressive, the second later I'm a conservative. It feels like I have multiple personalities inside me constantly battling each other to see which one is more fit to be my real personality. Is this a sign of bipolarity?",4.104374999999997,5.7745844375,6.087937500000002,74.21331250000003,71.8125,9.1825,30.76875,9.642632912329526,3.1339881249999992,520,23,95,13,10,181,80,128,0.142,0.7959999999999999,0.062,-0.9015,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,3,7,3,0,9,0,12,3,0,1,0,21,24,3,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,3,0,0,3,9,4,0,1,7,0,0,0,0,5,0,5,0,4,14,2,7,19,6,12,0,0,2,0,7,3,0,6,11,67,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12728438356007907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772465359584512,0.0,0.0,0.13016731729016992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16182336189947033,0.0,0.0,0.1653076412304407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103610704331628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15469378044613954,0.10928273388300368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15146564625819178,0.13527202356150725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3384801781682601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15642352781665986,0.0,0.14946810962642246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26010147361259217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3245567704867843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17415884945170684,0.16051765649878408,0.0,0.3109719541998649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060510449398578,0.26713729369208833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17411483959167298,0.0,0.0,0.3020814265477452,0.0,0.0,0.13063666226614282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12189832819857725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162734064889292,0.1960356764948115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16725011281066565,0.0,0.09850850778632653
bipolarreddit,polygonal-atrophy,2019/08/30,"Lithium dosage questions So I'm looking at lithium (with my doctor) as a cause or contributor for some memory/depersonalisation issue I've been having. I thought I was on a very large dose of lithium, but apparently my last levels (almost a year ago oops) were only 0.75. I take 1200mg of lithium carbonate capsules at bedtime. I'm curious, what dosages are y'all at with what levels?",5.918333333333332,7.297219722222222,7.234333333333333,68.844,67.05555555555556,9.093333333333334,35.23333333333333,9.3871,3.5310133333333336,308,15,51,6,5,105,54,72,0.0,0.9520000000000001,0.048,0.4497,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,5,2,0,1,0,9,10,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,6,0,10,6,1,9,0,0,1,0,2,6,0,4,3,30,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27388951299624464,0.0,0.30939588481333385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3174045428990584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31625110405387863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32249176636025834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518575350844661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25946290488007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23499097023304236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3461250097050744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323122895929897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452932653268623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549384256701078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19897109055589127
bipolarreddit,gothicwriter,2019/08/30,"That seasonal shift The days have been getting shorter since June 22nd. Today, I felt it and upped my tiny Latuda dosage (I have bipolar II). I'll be pulling out my light box tomorrow for morning use. Just wanted to post that the days getting shorter always seems to creep up on me. If you're suddenly feeling down, this could be the case for you too.",4.556323529411767,5.975406691176474,4.464000000000002,87.28100000000002,70.32352941176471,7.2047058823529415,29.776470588235288,7.554174236665415,1.7539200000000001,277,11,54,3,5,85,54,68,0.0,0.977,0.023,0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,1,0,10,13,2,0,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,6,0,9,8,0,14,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,2,7,32,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673646275437732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25654849490928283,0.0,0.0,0.4144506388647495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624694398303713,0.0,0.3085183364494609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3357536886777949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077364838003847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925183680827029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26579986777713405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.304574526237469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775179845407812,0.0,0.0,0.18952331984056525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Fadedaway1347,2019/08/30,Combat fatigue of lamictal I know a lot of people suffer from the fatigue of lamictal and other similar drugs. I have been taking turmeric and it does help a bit. I’ve also noticed melatonin makes me feel like garbage and may effect my meds but not 100% sure. Hope if helps.,3.2432075471698134,5.592990679245286,4.3515471698113215,82.74392452830193,76.16981132075472,6.504150943396226,27.581132075471697,7.554174236665415,1.850527547169812,218,9,38,3,5,71,44,53,0.214,0.667,0.12,-0.5426,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,3,0,3,3,0,2,1,14,8,6,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,4,3,4,6,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,4,1,24,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163324954226822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953347031111352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367314119195364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137140515322788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13678161706607608,0.19325753129581535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3626439342212191,0.0,0.0,0.2686846036155076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14866917045577044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13216103243161634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.229984037234042,0.0,0.0,0.18057232184941932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3004836092362765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30798560854443496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18754255506053025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549592457924165,0.0,0.20339525713554804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,biwhiningII,2019/08/30,"Med adjustment. At what point are you like, this doesn’t seem right, I probably need an adjustment? My low-level depression has been more prevalent, i.e., a good portion of days I’m pretty seriously meh and irritable. And currently in a depressive spell that is particularly bad. Not danger to myself bad, but just all consuming. 

I’ve been taking my meds regularly. I eat well. I exercise regularly (run 30-35k a week and lift 4x a week). I get seven hours of sleep a night. I try to socialize, if not in person, I keep in touch with my people. My job is fine. There have been some serious annoyances on that front, but a million times better than my last job and I didn’t feel this bad during that disaster. And my mom is seriously ill. But I feel like I’m doing everything right and shouldn’t feel this bad. 

I’m pretty sure this is a situation that’s probably more than just up the dosage of one or two or the meds. I’m nervous since the only doctor I trust to manage this is in the suburbs. I’m in the city now. I would have to take a day off of work. And pay like $200 each appointment. I have money in the bank, but I can’t handle too many of those without depleting it pretty quickly. And I haven’t been at this job long and don’t want to request a bunch of time off. I already called off once. And it took ages to find this mix. And it was working pretty damn well. 

I’ve been on this mix of meds for like 5 years or so. I know meds have to be adjusted over time. I’m not sure if I’m there yet. Anyone with a similar experience?",1.4531240459957253,3.4897200252365934,3.585446219599067,87.57000203520914,80.60883280757098,7.37107967843696,21.582273328584513,8.360895534625662,1.2024204538516343,1196,36,261,26,31,408,169,317,0.142,0.698,0.159,0.7839,4,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,1,0,3,11,25,3,1,17,0,26,5,1,0,3,47,45,21,0,6,15,1,4,4,0,2,3,0,0,1,17,14,1,1,9,1,3,3,10,13,2,4,8,4,23,12,35,34,7,38,0,2,0,0,6,18,1,7,21,162,40,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548443688604402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06050152598886495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28898493845337025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765258921870322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883535014152287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160521058711197,0.0,0.14905075194266176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856381050859191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853848210366637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776467717258416,0.0846397794291297,0.0,0.0,0.1312515967829596,0.061814738259394236,0.0,0.0,0.07908389571524542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045206663491853566,0.0,0.0,0.07257454531146103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521143411065135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575933891181367,0.07690896446454627,0.0,0.0,0.04755284721555225,0.07053086211070297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690904271222795,0.0,0.0,0.07657346425404453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772455887460262,0.0,0.0,0.4805586496845808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013391014914555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06415849992743833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119950754031853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214818087816906,0.058632775346001274,0.0658075038859112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059986764168169476,0.07555183377173719,0.0,0.0,0.08179576091922319,0.0,0.0,0.3521153080647315,0.18658097480546104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477867692019447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078770717207465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157583421405757,0.09725970927513486,0.0865892536712566,0.08820314042284973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631009041644738,0.0,0.1301147178972407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15136335763745887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613441973237596,0.058745993720797425,0.0,0.08452407664886838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05103572787319907,0.0,0.13881310346043713,0.0,0.15559590650071475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834087138187684,0.0,0.12598503100873099,0.0,0.0,0.06146613133605301,0.0,0.0,0.05572039981772744
bipolarreddit,DTYITR7,2019/04/25,"Meds causing bone and lung pain? Husband increased Seroquel and lamictal a week ago from 300 to 400 and 200 to 300 respectively. He’s been stable and then today woke up with bone pain all over, lung pain, and shortness of breath. Trying to figure out if the meds could be the problem or if it’s something else like fumes from something he was sealing. Any experience? TIA",4.387190476190471,6.610511242857143,4.300000000000002,85.01333333333334,72.28571428571428,6.3809523809523805,28.809523809523807,7.1686216300943375,1.6058095238095236,297,12,54,3,6,91,52,70,0.16699999999999998,0.6759999999999999,0.157,-0.2088,0,0,2,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,3,0,4,8,5,1,1,15,5,9,0,4,3,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,3,0,0,2,10,0,2,9,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,3,5,28,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17641160893931582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13533458444685606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20443954018144067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15889441865245071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624849801008326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19467134808057365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722692337288093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4421136292974832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6352865206534158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19042704405764171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30641741531269995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18863954863567245,0.0,0.0,0.13511568519074696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15963495039893266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,smarra22,2019/04/25,"What are good jobs for people with Bipolar? I've been working in retail at a pharmacy and feel like sometimes I can't hack it. It's a relatively simple job but can get hectic when the after work rush comes in or if pills distribution is not done on time. Or if I'm typing scripts into the computer... Sometimes I'm so clouded from my prescriptions (lamitical and clonazepam) that I can't focus and then I panic and then I tell myself I'm stupid and worry that someone is going to point out that I'm slow. That scares me. I'm trying to get out and break into the graphic design world but even that has its faults. I just keep telling myself that I'm not good enough and then crawl back into bed ( my pharmacy job is part time so I have time in the week to do design). My attitude is negative, I panic at work all the time, and it's just stressing me out. So I thought maybe some of you have suggestions for a low stress job that i can making a living with. Any advice would be appreciated! Thank you.",2.4688396278051457,4.37097775862069,3.921633825944173,87.03337575259991,76.83251231527093,6.678598795840178,22.60782703886152,7.594959193182576,0.935225725232622,787,23,161,11,18,260,116,203,0.18899999999999997,0.742,0.069,-0.9821,4,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,2,0,3,8,12,1,5,9,0,17,2,0,1,1,34,32,21,0,3,10,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,12,17,0,1,2,0,1,3,5,8,0,0,3,1,18,4,22,27,4,31,0,1,0,0,5,15,0,5,13,110,30,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12061739206176987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393873743251969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09491243113325376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632668199570446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631491143787846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12753938308067414,0.0,0.08152639524981806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06241148167918666,0.08818062786907246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897739545056475,0.0,0.07014987251505217,0.2070596480089276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4899532037605942,0.10971300641579926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06030317546489908,0.0,0.1089936844546713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239254951510812,0.0,0.12400513465711545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.289644284126161,0.0,0.1336660136268451,0.0,0.08557296653083005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166841720597188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357806136588215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458446100160744,0.0,0.2441569746441594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827843870136738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157719314653908,0.11364061029449167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979920899728202,0.28789932171909155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380296927497287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09901058359440357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695822901450072,0.1253522997536492,0.0,0.08768332935668954,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RisuPuffs,2019/04/25,"Caffeine +Lithium/Seroquel Just a quick inquiry into other peoples' experiences.

I know based off the quick readings I've done that I'm supposed to avoid caffeine because it can trigger mania. But keeping in mind that I'm BP2 (so less mania) and that my current combo has me so tired I can barely function.....is there like a safe amount of caffeine I can have is it just a yeah that's a bad idea kind of thing?

Thank you for any help!",1.972643678160917,4.3199244252873585,3.0995402298850583,90.05781609195402,80.60919540229884,4.326436781609195,26.90804597701149,5.033348758259628,0.7191977011494255,343,15,66,1,9,110,64,87,0.10800000000000001,0.745,0.147,0.3372,1,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,7,6,0,1,5,1,7,1,0,1,0,12,12,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,2,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,6,4,7,11,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,43,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19018830160369626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335165882991228,0.1704870252123767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28620419139499864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735753999147583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18745997248713808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3157185533241601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485876127316194,0.0,0.2912380326149966,0.15370183242234228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136634870547094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823915947191019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19389113614881734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27975025913824164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25748677340414106,0.0,0.0,0.1858033605738761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214447824305636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Yaytime,2019/04/25,Convinced I’ll never get better I’ve just accepted I’ll never feel like a normal person. I’ll never stop having existentialist thoughts. I’ll never feel like everything is my control. I’ll just feel “okay” for my entire life. I’ll probably try to off myself sometime down the line. Everyone here is on like 10 different medicines and they still don’t feel good. I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this. Lamictal will probably never cure me it’ll just make me feel “a little better”. I’m on 200mg and nothing significant has happened. You can tell me to have hope and whatever but I don’t know how much it’ll help.,1.723095238095237,4.197797023809525,3.559682539682541,85.5714285714286,82.73015873015873,6.7746031746031745,22.492063492063494,7.957251820313856,1.3721015873015876,499,17,98,10,14,167,75,126,0.09300000000000001,0.79,0.11699999999999999,0.5889,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,1,3,7,11,0,0,3,1,13,1,0,4,5,28,27,6,0,2,4,0,5,4,0,3,1,0,0,1,3,3,0,2,9,0,0,1,8,0,0,0,1,5,11,11,8,23,2,14,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,11,54,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393360691671468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517582915452194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14136700301261934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12929162473488054,0.12160519546149345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34207639127301,0.19332667740012946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069231622846499,0.0,0.07689807898348065,0.11348908127713064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11965152193362855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069342137950802,0.0,0.0,0.13439036848206296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14872236317690107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09557132657103544,0.26441663732800025,0.13561314760767132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09031846464016932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19893240844501894,0.0,0.5217854497463922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325721190744614,0.12983070347980452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814484219996738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29176763455546273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13382207014364586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10805633477088468,0.11312269995528845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11826427072040314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741863390941138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09186456253322918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,honeybeaxox,2019/04/25,Apps? Any good mood tracker apps or anything like that?,1.7940000000000005,4.1530844000000045,0.5200000000000031,100.24000000000002,105.0,2.0,25.0,3.1291,-0.060999999999999936,44,2,8,0,2,12,9,10,0.0,0.581,0.419,0.6966,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4713125802096075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5703390254699088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5813157306472206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3385998657180554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,grumbles_to_internet,2019/04/25,"My family is about to be homeless and I'm thinking ""car accident"" so at least they'll have some income. Hurt my back, lost my job, no unemployment either. At my last job someone went through my desk, found my therapy journal full of typical bipolar depression shit, photocopied a page that made me look suicidal after I'd left work for the day. They sent a fucking cop to my house, freaked my kids out, just to do a wellness check. I figured out what hapened, went to work (I'm on the alarm list and freely come and go) and took back the page that my boss had on his desk. They fired me for that and fought my unemployment saying it was 'theft of company documents', so no unemployment for 1 year. My car's dying and the tags die today. I have zero income, no friends or family who will help, and to top it all off the taxes I filed February 2nd still is MIA. We're two months behind on rent and about to lose it all.
My daughter has a 4.2 gap and she doesn't deserve this and it's all my fault. I failed all of them and there's nothing else I can think of to do.",3.27185779816514,4.360297596330277,4.338428899082569,88.22580848623853,73.03669724770644,8.018807339449541,26.01032110091743,8.472884824447931,1.5071366972477058,828,27,183,14,16,270,135,218,0.249,0.6970000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.993,11,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,4,6,10,13,3,1,9,0,14,3,1,2,4,28,30,14,3,0,3,1,1,0,1,2,1,1,1,1,10,14,0,0,4,0,3,8,4,11,1,2,10,3,26,2,27,17,10,28,0,5,1,1,14,11,2,2,9,118,36,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239157172505186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254220073053974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390032885842746,0.0,0.12540556619520474,0.0,0.3022208293262921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12163060152371408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745185373905465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15964352074295954,0.11249064692281166,0.13460539002473582,0.0,0.0,0.08274816497528832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759299963913327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16800352060097526,0.15586843226266114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889722182050536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11868390574280613,0.0,0.0,0.15819545618123435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226781674891485,0.1628898058233888,0.15894023263755222,0.0,0.0,0.13777078926176284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11621699383786345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397076833702502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578742518781847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494569030237002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233668989342166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627681126035627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15926340257921787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16650695243551564,0.0,0.0,0.186589945128346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380123252020427,0.0,0.1617676017095681,0.0,0.0,0.1422306100589932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13091240733817006,0.26994639272198245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21199791265525636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937619998113578
bipolarreddit,aghhmyachingblood,2019/04/25,"what is your personal experience with meds? hello new to this subreddit just asking around for 2nd opinions. my therapist highly recommends i should see my gp and consider going on medication. what im really terrified about them is if my inehrent core and personality will drastically change. i enjoy that i can daydream and be creative and be a bit pure like that. though i do hate how i feel like i have no control over my mentality. i was wondering what the experienes have been for some people. i know people who disregarded taking medication and their lives have been better, or their lives have been significantly worse until they took it. everyones brain chemistry is different, i understand that, but hearing some anecdotal evidence might be able to help me make a solid decision on the topic. i have to book another therapy session next week and then see my gp. thanks",7.097447552447552,8.873773756410257,7.792191142191143,64.45583916083916,64.64102564102564,12.082983682983684,34.6946386946387,11.741389052700956,4.93094358974359,710,32,111,25,11,236,109,156,0.065,0.807,0.128,0.8381,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,4,2,5,6,1,0,4,0,20,3,1,3,1,27,34,13,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,3,2,1,0,2,9,8,0,2,5,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,5,4,21,5,12,23,3,12,0,0,2,0,12,5,0,7,7,82,30,2,0.14024361066487215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14705765384779393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12484654686383775,0.13110884447581958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403407685694462,0.15310970006933242,0.0,0.0,0.15655825084875166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14835914444427706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15729513451691784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14652472381384005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340087799981861,0.0,0.13718516186925953,0.0,0.0,0.0709113834011726,0.10019006348098307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970367585612287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13846153080716533,0.0,0.0,0.1580647418144704,0.0,0.0940023360202266,0.14817507457596726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15148716544247956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707422073414046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703188838491198,0.0,0.2476753551982759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361369912828628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15577903578979085,0.28256136673741794,0.14133257390093185,0.14877630840140918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13544815309338598,0.14915067097116572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19445452263528054,0.2449106227686616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984364813480654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235120005968409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544574168728753,0.0,0.0,0.1291174743768871,0.1603807911471449,0.1628336412572642,0.0,0.0,0.13778863542253306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15581581168032274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459985446587052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11249496511117116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15208821337415165,0.0,0.0,0.14292022061435794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Unicorn-Ate-My-Taco,2019/04/25,"Lamictal, xanax and seroquel + booze Ive had bipolar disorder for 19 years. I’ve been on Xanax since 2010 and lamictol since 2013 and was recently taken off Remeron (had been on that for 19years) and put on seroquel (low dose) instead. 
Within the past 5-6 months I’ve been drinking heavily everyday. I have my reasons. I’ve been told people have died from seroquel+alcohol. Supposedly people’s hearts have stopped in their sleep from it.  
With all my meds and the alcohol how likely do you think that would happen to me?",4.8320876288659775,6.9756885360824725,4.9531829896907205,81.14668170103094,70.85567010309279,8.561340206185568,30.68170103092784,9.188382445141503,2.826114432989692,416,18,75,9,8,130,70,97,0.087,0.9129999999999999,0.0,-0.802,0,0,3,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,13,9,2,2,1,12,17,6,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,3,6,3,1,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,9,0,7,1,12,7,1,14,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,0,7,44,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4294457636445686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20852372972511315,0.0,0.2302722689945945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19682557231973927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17767331072627646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23809172790261415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815959422403944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231773512277108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16037280465766698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19180132610652248,0.27858591546652123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20198056997477487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20657970950434745,0.19838472786374114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33240698304550104,0.0,0.20106557536545613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16797851205353054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12874172628703728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919881222118352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427281393311591,0.0,0.0,0.129386197177302
bipolarreddit,thathotdorkybastard,2019/09/12,"SUCH SORROW I FEEL FOR US (VENTING) They would say it's a manic episode but I think otherwise. I am angrier at the behavior of humanity! But sad I am also of each corners of the world's manifestations. Many lack the multiple perspectives of information only sticking to the one that supports there illusion's. And those that do have this skill OFTEN use these other perspectives to destroy them, leaving only the one that makes them feel most persuaded to. Logical yet flawed. My own experience with this lead to the labeling of my disOrder and a inability to explain my own thought process in FEAR of the risk on how I will be seen by the outside AGAIN . Until I gain more knowledge I will remain contempt on prophecy's/warnings/DELUSIONS  but the buzzing in my head and the urging feeling with in me shall always remain until I know of the pure truth.  

I've been programed once upon a time to repress my motions and avoid stimulus  for I was SENSITIVE to only now am I taught to harness them in (positive)  ways like art but I perceive something beyond a mistake in my brain. 

The rules changed when the majority decided. 

The majority decides the trends

The majority decides the doctrine

Logical but Flawed 
It is the consequence of coexistence

Even in communism the majority can rebel and over throw

One who controls the people (majority) controls the world...those damn demons I sense. But one who acts not of the ARTIFICIAL (based on) is freed. 

No longer will I sedate this feeling but now I roll with the punches. I do not desire happiness or peace. I desire reality. I'm not crazy! I'm not crazy!! I'm not crazy!!! I'm not sick. I'm not sick.. I'm not sick...

!!BUT THAT'S JUST MY MANIC PERSPECTIVE!! Hypocrites they are.",3.5208326253186044,6.2338869003115285,4.782452563013312,78.10013593882753,77.19314641744549,8.003058623619372,30.59954687057491,8.841846274778883,3.0233003115264796,1369,67,238,33,33,451,173,321,0.187,0.71,0.10300000000000001,-0.9864,0,1,1,0,0,0,46.0,1,0,5,5,13,16,4,4,27,0,18,5,2,6,2,60,37,19,0,5,18,0,4,1,0,5,3,1,0,1,14,9,0,4,16,1,0,4,9,11,0,4,5,6,30,5,38,26,11,28,1,2,1,0,12,15,1,3,9,172,44,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212461189118584,0.1261554699730636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692520049439945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16038811441006715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3400972703845962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17376343544218226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001399952750842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830814453445804,0.0,0.17060854550777138,0.30664353360962343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613965317682308,0.0,0.0,0.15560029226779648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833234040239233,0.0,0.0,0.16053794094145474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407122181255824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10120390450065292,0.15371337974350294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614645716286386,0.4109518327727796,0.3459291433740915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051104545689009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056999347545855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11672030518651827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17205042024480108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714849617831246,0.0,0.12036503511291627,0.08840767652091829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823736629984805,0.1309463113627015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034459063303744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770264232309644,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Noxueb2404,2019/09/12,"Is this normal? So just a little bit about me. I have chronic migraines and usually have been getting them the week before and during my period. A lot of times I become very hyperactive before my migraine comes (talking a lot, doing a lot of activities) and I never really thought anything of it. My family also think that my dad has undiagnosed BPD so it prolly runs on my family.  But I’m pretty sure that since yesterday or the day before I’ve been manic. I’m tired but I don’t really want to sleep or feel like I can’t (also happens when I have a migraine), I have a loss of appetite  (very strange for me), hyper sexual urges,  an obsession over one of my friends, I feel like I’m high, and I feel impulsive (mild impulsive spending), and my head has been hurting this whole time.  Oh I also feel at the same time very low energy and I’ve kind of felt like a tight or uneasy feeling in my stomach also. What’s concerning me is that I suddenly started developing, a crush I guess, on one of my friends when this episode started. I’m also in a serious relationship (of 8 years) and I don’t know if this is made worse by the fact that my SO is out of town for work for two weeks. And maybe w.e is happening right now is bringing out any unsatisfied feelings I have about our relationship. I’m trying to work out my own feelings before I speak with my SO. I just keep thinking about my friend and wanting to talk to him and I feel like I don’t want to stop. I’m very confused right now, considering I also just don’t feel like myself.",3.8780997067448695,4.89810161935484,5.549970674486804,80.36950146627565,71.51612903225806,8.862170087976539,27.96187683284457,9.218907990703514,2.2878387096774198,1202,43,242,25,22,411,153,310,0.11800000000000001,0.753,0.129,0.5744,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,1,0,1,3,20,16,0,2,14,0,22,8,3,1,3,55,55,28,0,5,9,1,11,5,3,0,5,1,0,0,11,15,0,3,14,0,1,3,6,6,0,3,6,12,39,10,31,49,7,37,0,3,0,0,12,15,0,9,24,160,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3826081296393012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054225910944569564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06561919732672866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08806652705137018,0.2714113500813347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705538986345157,0.0,0.1004296951260188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868891962505139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05142568102914465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15034348560927913,0.0,0.3628703023032065,0.2278649891634909,0.07656287178300088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18482069864110348,0.0,0.041660840831609064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08784256196896717,0.0,0.14102757630480653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08183620959060592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08424965158586041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536328229624786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07087654517256578,0.0,0.0830369033588632,0.043822999662294186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19478459662698608,0.07992039387841937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20337620143724872,0.0,0.07545188339426198,0.0,0.0,0.08010951313143007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06150037721180495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07812823579893312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806772862790166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08112421195550773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216692752436464,0.0,0.0,0.17122176221059787,0.0,0.1361949897021147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596172347731087,0.0,0.07979755275626803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11288071601015855,0.0,0.0,0.06666618168300288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515397380645154,0.0,0.0,0.1281839275563498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218830027616817,0.0,0.06330462557183697,0.13949104541653345,0.09164936012729777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0541382023103271,0.0,0.07789435963000876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782230642829376,0.2631752903515594,0.14109809294157324,0.0,0.12792518097800082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902682381002969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11610328917474524,0.0,0.08126183722729102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05134992340893018
bipolarreddit,imnotlibel,2019/09/12,"I don’t feel comfortable telling him... I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 9 years. I’ve known about the BP2 diagnosis for a couple of months. I’ve known since I was 12 though-I’m being medicated now. I don’t really feel comfortable telling him any of it. 

I’m high functioning so he attributes a lot of my behaviors to my dad’s death a year and a half ago. He’s really ignorant to mental illness and ruined my confidence because of his reaction when I told him I wanted to start going to therapy years ago. When we discuss marriage he says he’s ready when “ You start feeling like yourself again” I’m afraid of his reaction to this.

How did you tell your SO?",2.6959090909090904,4.7615813181818245,4.2545454545454575,84.1518181818182,76.72727272727272,8.33939393939394,26.90909090909091,9.075114841892004,2.332154545454545,522,21,105,13,12,174,81,132,0.09300000000000001,0.78,0.127,0.5118,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,3,0,0,9,6,0,1,5,0,6,2,0,2,0,13,16,8,1,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,3,0,1,5,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,4,4,18,3,13,11,1,16,0,1,0,0,21,1,0,1,15,56,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3125008492589921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119867884058309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745097779035014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950365377927439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673782979822259,0.12592547375514626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017683184833934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18623619764673016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611535348366989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985624958899088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17757087247511666,0.17763609191531407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14069496590156347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258428343528017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14017492021310948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458102240116697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24952596172991776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4621964599727921,0.0,0.2015771465227464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17318183650967528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16843106514074416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10396708603541846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34053130090575834
bipolarreddit,whitewalker_x,2019/09/12,"I think I have bipolar II 

Basically I've been to about six psychiatrists, the first ones diagnosed me with depression and anxiety, afterwards I got diagnosed with BPD, and after that I started doing some research of my own because some things didn't feel right. 


Every time I got put on antidepressants I had a hypomanic episode, I had about 4 of them (episodes). I was on escitalopram for about 2 months (few days of hypomania in the beginning, then a few more after I quit it), venlafaxine (two weeks of hypomania), amitriptyline (3 days of hypomania which spiraled into very intense anxiety, in the first 2 days I slept for a total of 6 hours, although I'm not sure if this medication kicked off the hypomania because I started feeling it even before I took the first pill).

There were some benzos and antipsychotics mixed in there too. 


My new psychiatrist listened to all that and she gave me olanzapine, carbamazepine, and escitalopram.


She hasn't given me a diagnosis yet but I think she's on the right track. This one makes sense to me a lot.",7.8053977272727275,8.105942645833338,8.241231060606067,67.06551136363639,62.64583333333334,11.981818181818182,37.24621212121213,11.567385478589935,4.525535416666667,836,38,147,24,11,277,118,192,0.039,0.946,0.015,-0.456,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,4,8,2,0,0,11,0,9,6,1,1,3,23,25,9,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,8,8,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,1,0,7,12,3,23,1,26,13,10,31,0,1,0,0,6,10,0,5,19,109,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22453821270994925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17892405243962198,0.0,0.12487984615535774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848359675895399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28393939163249765,0.0,0.1264020428387087,0.29791160108269604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693196238790767,0.0,0.12364954597988095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484100303015424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3744956321282963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23475080157051176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14452660190464262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12476800123764754,0.0,0.0,0.0979617887700009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478427686366784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11714045779126893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14173933394553515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988933966301273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14753184919532694,0.0,0.15609469455678604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506602521380741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077514657368733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13831723226167156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974991797451011,0.1880725948055036,0.0,0.0,0.08557549410490277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16305301225130048,0.0,0.0,0.1433607790396467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12109032935116935,0.0,0.0,0.11772003576962925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Stratusfear21,2019/09/12,"Do I show signs of being bipolar? AMA? I'm not trying to self diagnose, I'm just confused. My mother is bipolar but I don't know what type. I've always been a little depressed since I was a kid because some shit happened. But last year it ramped the fuck up. I never had anxiety before but it would show up bad, mixed with panic attacks rarely, and I would be suicidal. All at once and it went on for a couple months. Then it wasn't bad for a few months. I started learning French and playing guitar more, I became a vegetarian. All in a few months too. 
 
Then I kinda went back to my normal depression, like I was just there. But in a week or two I've entered a new low. I think about suicide a lot. I'm not trying to use buzz words. I think I could just be very depressed. Again I'm not trying to self diagnose. I just can't afford a therapist or psychiatrist. 

 I should also not that I ""started"" taking a depression and anxiety medicine at some point after the first low. I took like two pills then decided id rather drink. I also have an addictive personality. But cigarettes, alcohol, and weed all have run in my family. Especially with my parents so I was already predisposed. 

I've had more than one high and low. But never another high as powerful(?) Or long. They usually last a day or two, sometimes almost a week. Then I'm either normal or wanna kill myself. I'm probably over thinking this. But if anyone could help I would really appreciate it",1.3999816176470574,3.9194149826388913,3.6107516339869283,84.2623529411765,84.9375,6.721568627450981,22.70669934640523,7.928766900206844,1.5136434640522878,1137,41,219,24,34,388,157,288,0.23800000000000002,0.698,0.063,-0.9963,3,0,3,0,0,2,41.0,0,0,1,2,13,18,4,2,16,0,22,10,1,1,5,60,41,27,3,11,23,2,0,2,0,4,7,0,0,4,8,8,2,0,6,5,0,5,9,15,0,5,10,0,25,3,23,22,11,45,0,7,0,1,8,16,2,12,26,151,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09877151200947916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682790428233956,0.0907266146888463,0.0,0.09998354264817416,0.14491164694970302,0.07538961696085453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500598071492528,0.13862331294126093,0.0,0.0,0.0633522812854483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307489871811562,0.0,0.06966872701226368,0.15130077141794207,0.055231233505220835,0.0,0.07709715769410158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446795183100878,0.10025137772034567,0.0,0.05843195339682585,0.0,0.31214766928744825,0.18392189288094735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875722752578354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854131959833364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706754317540396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08376175006527711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012063818503035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060729815071978624,0.1914557713829343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023967696281576,0.0,0.049793477164163866,0.14770837405207904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08852887697162212,0.0908088067499422,0.0,0.08018150893113464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702810791927032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21695725831029725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13975846710093312,0.08750571142649519,0.0,0.0,0.17754496748782914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649008648162953,0.061395477478535215,0.0,0.0,0.10630403373145723,0.10060479398240378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911174051410604,0.0,0.0,0.08564987360261991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976862170432213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05804311219930434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890390397928388,0.0,0.09300349528574614,0.07494839689174357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896094716546799,0.0,0.12825966725784022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19821169596454635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0681227793255979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519799123845996,0.0,0.1741657634846071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066415186320644,0.1845420916793785,0.0,0.2655202323444253,0.0,0.0,0.07825258990496965,0.09978728164069532,0.07475762106243809,0.0,0.0,0.14535380112809335,0.0,0.0,0.16798125449543058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930870128455908,0.0,0.0,0.05834587450306618
bipolarreddit,Olanwa,2018/11/20,"A coping mechanism that helps me tons. There is an artist on Facebook ""Emm, not Emma"" that has a lot of affirmations and supportive thoughts. 

I had my fiance pick out some, plus some other things I worked with  my college therapist. Then we put them on a digital photo frame so that it cycles, so I get something to help me know that I'll get through things when  I'm at work. 

https://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1438059246470348&ref=content_filter

She has a Tumblr I didn't know about before I grabbed the Facebook link. ",6.646000000000001,9.596505322222221,5.186388888888889,77.91625000000002,68.0,7.166666666666668,25.69444444444445,8.07648339933343,1.5534444444444442,429,13,72,6,8,125,68,90,0.0,0.909,0.091,0.7579,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,1,2,5,1,0,0,6,0,5,0,0,1,0,14,12,6,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,1,12,1,10,9,4,7,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,3,2,52,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754515969465789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21632589885814124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26564309377284423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3408019757371566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794297228841725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21613215300481686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25556533636083106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957140548642288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884903816297934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951736574132068,0.33779025752564273,0.0,0.0,0.20182545828834134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3701561984579765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,eno_one,2018/11/20,"How to work full time? Does anyone work full time? If so how do you do it? Every full time job for me starts off well, then I start getting stressed out and I want to bash my head on things. 

I need to be able to work so I can get health insurance, but work makes me want to kill myself. It is just so god damn frustrating.",-0.3253260869565189,1.7317337681159444,0.9418659420289864,103.6719293478261,88.13043478260867,4.6094202898550725,14.422101449275365,5.985473137389443,-1.1057985507246375,246,4,63,2,8,77,48,69,0.20800000000000002,0.6970000000000001,0.095,-0.9223,1,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,0,1,0,4,7,5,3,1,0,0,5,2,1,3,0,11,13,9,1,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,9,1,9,12,3,12,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,1,6,40,12,5,0.19265940469016526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347119353136445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16859754335318095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16232385778345335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20131317445385066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977241314517083,0.20478793802572398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19118473132116506,0.0,0.2131490864240929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12860164865548046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285450739930478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27273063650442586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206906971444028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799434774732024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3370237446021804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272710170386279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17322394228081026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5610333647075031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sunflowerbih,2018/11/20,"did anyone else gain weight with abilify? i gained around 30 or so pounds with it. my pcp wants my psychiatrist to change it because it’s affecting other things. the thing is, i’m scared to go on other medications because it seems the abilify is working for me. any advice/experiences?",4.22075471698113,6.813337113207549,5.24211320754717,76.35901886792455,74.09433962264151,8.768301886792452,27.581132075471697,9.3871,2.8224143396226418,229,9,40,6,5,75,41,53,0.052000000000000005,0.8320000000000001,0.115,0.5362,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,2,0,3,2,0,1,0,7,7,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,3,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,7,6,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,26,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17952261948697246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18458832330997496,0.2704895046848817,0.0,0.2350075494069368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32185236522531274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792669869034097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22053022123302649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582334034520816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15003190726693427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659426953412577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643005835697741,0.0,0.0,0.24032707237708695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3507671683110129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155708459961023,0.0,0.0,0.3214693576556863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921882568741896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Aberrant262,2019/09/05,"Somewhere between hypomanic and terrified, anyone want to talk to me a bit? Hey there

So I got a last minute call to say I have an interview tomorrow morning, and between that and being more social than usual it has catapulted me into a hypomanic state. Currently feeling full of energy and optimistic but also utterly terrified, as a lot may hinge on this. Plus the general terror of having to deal with people, potentially on a regular basis.

If anyone would like to keep me company a little, to chat on reddit, perhaps discord or WhatsApp that'd be great and much appreciated. Just pm me and I'll respond from there. 

Regardless, thanks to anyone reading this and I hope you're all getting through your respective days OK.",5.936818181818182,7.8825329848484875,7.3473939393939425,65.89609090909094,67.63636363636363,10.734545454545453,35.16969696969697,10.793553405168565,4.6153733333333316,582,29,89,18,10,199,98,132,0.10400000000000001,0.6759999999999999,0.22,0.9442,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,0,5,7,0,1,8,1,8,0,0,0,1,24,15,14,0,5,4,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,5,10,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,8,6,21,9,6,12,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,5,6,69,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16749282610175725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43934574711622026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286593328170936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21386642433201836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13507448455785553,0.21592825701929255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590151773732716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10942619502476332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16751203490666594,0.23091348693954244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20802581462236164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18616404517813187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707253594147968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102324085797868,0.20991858139263692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17806236774256987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153965930702418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452025619177465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095013476678414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16655880725514804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21350246402162865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16834369129173812,0.0,0.19282851140507687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23067371274599,0.0,0.12353589228034505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14878348357225493,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AnonymousF57,2019/09/05,Quirk CBT Has anyone tried to use this app to help manage mood swings and the manic/depressive thoughts? Figured I’d ask before I start to pay for it.,2.41,4.759872000000001,2.8633333333333333,92.345,79.0,5.333333333333334,20.0,6.42735559955562,0.12300000000000022,120,3,24,1,3,37,27,30,0.048,0.8590000000000001,0.09300000000000001,0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,4,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,10,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950490228887539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3944820302439029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3590626980368869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3634394174587449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828354754340591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2986702983113789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349945335628303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28648778295509786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36444386408037605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lixlixlix666,2019/09/05,Being a young mother with bi polar disorder Riddled with absolutely nothing but pure guilt.,9.933999999999996,12.017955733333334,9.92666666666667,50.61000000000002,58.33333333333334,11.333333333333336,41.66666666666667,11.20814326018867,5.927666666666667,76,4,8,2,1,25,14,15,0.115,0.747,0.138,0.0954,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7667535313110445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.641941603436047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lavien_rosekia,2019/09/05,"Self destruct manic rambling So my bf (ldr) was at work and I did not know. I had a bipolar mania rant to him about a bunch of stuff. I feel like having a melt down. I blew up his phone at work. I would be pissed off at me. I want to just crawl in a hole. I know this is a possibility, and still I did it. I feel like a p.o.s.",-2.6633906633906648,-0.9702112702702655,0.4282309582309587,103.97438574938576,100.8918918918919,3.231449631449632,12.132678132678134,4.851557810540192,-1.7483081081081084,242,4,67,1,11,84,52,74,0.14400000000000002,0.765,0.091,-0.6908,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,2,0,6,0,8,2,1,0,0,10,13,3,0,2,2,0,2,2,1,1,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,2,13,2,11,7,1,8,0,0,0,0,5,7,1,0,3,48,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2859480009291528,0.4040133895466813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31079945539089954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762884650376488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31877398180187705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2949845740915505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258157366581153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3236971880731097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16678156364190075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4117111941523569,0.0,0.0,0.2008674691720972,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nomenclatur3,2019/09/05,"i want to hear about your psychotic episodes i recently wrote short stories about mine as per my therapist's request. it helped a lot. it even gave me an idea to create an online journal where we could all share our experiences and fight the stigma of psychosis = violent.  


if you're interested in sharing your story with me, or in the journal, please let me know! it can be totally anonymous or credited to your reddit handle.  


the burgeoning site can be found here: mondochon.com",6.56310606060606,7.973046068181818,6.757272727272728,72.73924242424245,65.5909090909091,10.412121212121212,35.12121212121212,10.504223727775694,4.0137439393939385,386,18,65,10,6,124,70,88,0.068,0.7609999999999999,0.171,0.7879,0,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,2,3,0,0,5,6,2,0,6,0,6,0,0,0,2,15,12,5,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,12,4,10,5,3,6,0,0,0,0,13,5,0,4,1,47,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22883972760481905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18930730860364275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803656581837671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3142598888527595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.323037307902842,0.0,0.19211280906778666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32355482265998803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15751677754859564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29308450137101577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436708587373196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3146185377245342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829989372729184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.332783519613153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16905367112916414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sundancesyd,2019/09/05,Lamatrogine and Mirena IUD I was recently diagnosed bipolar and started Lamatrogine. While researching side effects I found that Lamatrogine can interact with birth control (the pill was specified but not the Mirena IUD) making either the medication or the Birth control less effective. Is there any validity to this/ does it interact differently with an IUD? I am in a monogamous relationship and we don’t use condoms but I am thinking I should start. Pregnancy is the last thing I want.,5.879906291834004,9.327568048192774,6.062088353413657,68.02625167336012,73.33734939759036,9.953949129852745,36.93306559571621,9.994966539143718,5.085509772423025,400,23,56,13,9,127,59,83,0.0,0.934,0.066,0.6322,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,7,0,9,5,0,6,0,21,16,7,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,6,0,2,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,7,0,4,12,2,9,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,1,7,42,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16124607913263794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5318884387170321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24066635781656656,0.0,0.2477343206518745,0.0,0.0,0.2075006102470688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599839526112733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19328007038907224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582758564808462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388680435941129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23412209100435136,0.25457237451355963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3356619105012132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15752842382826676,0.15193348037623805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047909088705706,0.0,0.0,0.13985635196415064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ignorethemoon,2019/09/05,"Am I undermedicated? I'm male, bipolar 1. Last (manic) episode was a year and half ago.. while I was stabilizing, I was on risperidone and lithium. Once I was better I started on latuda (20mg) along with 1200mg of lithium.
After a while I had side effects from lithium so my doctor stopped the lithium and upped the latuda to 40mg. I have been on that for 10 months, and I basically can't tell I'm on anything. I've been totally stable the whole time, but I'm worried that it won't be enough if my mania comes back. Thoughts?",1.9676635514018697,3.964299831775701,3.8016915887850473,86.86421962616824,78.7196261682243,5.775327102803737,26.58785046728972,6.742157984588678,1.1003951401869156,410,17,85,4,10,138,71,107,0.051,0.909,0.04,-0.2606,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,5,0,12,2,0,1,1,13,18,9,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,7,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,8,0,10,1,12,8,3,18,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,1,11,56,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390015259463334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22187397486029206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073208457901861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23845664421562426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23225342958990225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759671066782539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2785891421822381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21977597662563636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152078090230881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871360967485209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19083815534610324,0.0,0.0,0.2254140757790286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356594325688585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140478621329424,0.1572173691279273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30102067798187315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738118125979201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17362619598624845
bipolarreddit,PrepaidWalrus,2019/05/02,"How do you deal with the urge to crawl out of your skin when you try to sit down and do something productive? Or if you do manage to get something productive done, how do you deal with the urge to be reckless by the same magnitude to compensate for your success?",10.41,6.580627692307693,9.3,74.69500000000002,60.53846153846154,13.476923076923079,41.384615384615394,11.20814326018867,4.252007692307694,208,8,43,4,2,65,33,52,0.048,0.8809999999999999,0.07200000000000001,0.3313,0,0,2,0,0,0,3.0,0,6,0,1,3,1,0,0,3,0,6,1,1,2,0,9,7,6,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,6,1,12,5,1,4,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,2,1,34,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7112873614643742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3530188780257369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180229930553498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5311416911397128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23420853367122554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,username197206,2019/05/02,"Quick question Idk if its the right place to ask but, is Zoloft and Serlift the same thing?",1.91,4.431124444444446,1.0311111111111124,103.70000000000002,82.33333333333334,3.6,20.11111111111111,3.1291,-0.8357555555555556,72,2,16,0,2,20,17,18,0.066,0.934,0.0,-0.0516,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,2,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,1,11,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.446128778838331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4985849457070623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5345866284028574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4075364202080664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.317038432281269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Cnxmal,2019/05/02,"can hypomania only last a few hours? I’ve been wandering if I’m bipolar lately. The depression part fits me and I have extreme mood swings but the mania part only lasts a few hours, usually when I’m out at nights and I do crazy things and lose control of myself (people genuinely think I’m on hard drugs when this happens but I don’t even drink alcohol) 

I lose ability to speak properly and I scream and fall on the ground laughing constantly and dance and I’m generally really happy. For a few days following this I’m happier and more confident than normal but it’s just makes people think I’m being super extroverted for some reason not that I’m doing drugs or being scary ‘crazy’ (I’m usually very shy and anxious)",3.3007364975450098,5.574509744680854,5.042836879432628,78.22615384615386,75.66666666666667,8.877468630660122,25.739770867430444,9.466822959209583,2.630817348608838,578,21,105,16,13,196,90,141,0.156,0.6729999999999999,0.171,0.7572,0,0,4,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,4,4,8,0,0,6,0,8,5,0,3,0,25,21,16,0,2,7,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,5,10,2,1,3,2,0,3,2,4,0,0,1,3,7,3,9,18,7,21,0,3,0,0,1,6,0,3,12,61,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15328539294573398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16203755083458596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15499924454737962,0.1608713998380941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250189811918597,0.0,0.1235379369677953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14050894314920226,0.3326716124873608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473561020625333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683661386953454,0.15268623570666967,0.12848707125665448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28250363420230595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23383276056381594,0.16179776026707796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3209278690737363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957421020620942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346013960156443,0.14053309481713738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21817329093899668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3106461735729645,0.0,0.1988756445471706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188633511390006,0.14747218217850486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09528997515595128,0.1838111144461418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31594059151955506,0.11834657999857336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Larkalone,2019/05/02,"Vraylar Week 3 - adding inderal. I have bipolar 2, anxiety and depression. Started the starter pack with 1.5 that moves to 3 mgs three weeks ago and it has helped immensely. I have had some anger issues that flare up, but instead of them flaring every single day it’s maybe one anger episode a week. I took Klonopin 2mg on accident and my boyfriend said it was like pulp fiction leading me around while I was on some kind of heroin overdose. Sounds bad, but I guess it’s nice that I don’t remember a single thing except bomb hot dogs from sonic ahahaha. My delusions are mostly eviscerated, but I did miss a day and noticed immediately and had to go home and try to be normal until my next dose. Things are getting back to normal now. I was just prescribed Inderal, aka Propranolol, and I’m very excited. It even claims to get rid of tachychardia which I have struggled with my whole life. Lemme know if you’re taking this combo too!",4.4869912210694345,6.258567631284922,4.756205107741423,83.73571229050282,71.01117318435755,7.795849960095771,29.54549082202713,8.418075326091056,2.17617924980048,742,30,140,12,14,233,127,179,0.18,0.765,0.055,-0.9746,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,1,7,10,2,1,4,0,14,3,0,1,0,25,25,13,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,1,0,12,10,0,0,2,0,0,4,1,6,0,2,8,3,15,4,17,16,6,21,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,5,14,88,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14250718685101038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298367545635795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431136430441349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12361724634245926,0.13423084886338985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073583797807883,0.0,0.13846540974811627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618280834952164,0.0,0.13545022425879386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16798463884711431,0.0,0.09136563006599736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770991745870661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10775641858309376,0.0,0.1612589481618987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167795378157629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16741049800341512,0.08835144255996738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11355204946383188,0.07854094988053878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16150859371747456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17086621126210294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17097385888006025,0.0,0.3150282906553393,0.0,0.18303036681505935,0.0,0.0,0.10893754183912416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821137627772733,0.0,0.1529229502036844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11378926789076635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16806496760754416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087418206942495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136083178772236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786142189240554,0.1091478974187216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264676498574304,0.0,0.0,0.3868644672745655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794867619916915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwaway_polaroid,2019/05/02,"I wrote a poem (which has to do with my prior experience with bipolar) It's called ""Hand in Cold Ice Water""

​

I welcome any feedback you have!

​

​

A group of scientists discovered

that those who had their hand 

in a bucket of cold, cold ice water

showed more sympathy than those

who had their hand relieved just minutes prior

​

I have to strain, if for a moment, 

to place myself back in Chicago,

Kicking chairs over in the isolated 

refuge of the dorm common room

Yelling in the crook of my arm 

which should only house a sneeze

Insomnia accompanied by crying

Wondering if I would survive

In the hospital I still thought,

frightened, I could harm myself by

slamming the socket of my eye against

the table corner

​

Have you ever felt dissociated from 

the pain of your past self?

Unless you take a trip

to dive back in?

​

These nights instead

I take

the usual from Walgreens;

I’m more worried about

the state of my toothbrush

​

To those

stumbling

in the Dark forest,

I try to not forget you",11.416894736842105,9.134226031578947,9.571447368421056,68.7413815789474,57.105263157894754,11.605263157894738,42.17105263157895,9.516144504307137,4.128578947368421,846,35,138,10,8,256,115,190,0.094,0.804,0.102,0.3649,1,0,0,0,1,0,43.0,0,5,2,1,7,5,0,1,16,0,10,10,5,0,1,16,17,3,0,5,5,0,4,0,0,2,3,1,2,1,10,2,2,0,3,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,5,9,21,2,33,9,2,25,0,0,1,0,14,12,0,3,11,101,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5050038443674839,0.5663453465144009,0.04527919624388451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239750386337844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798939768654175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053161662952809226,0.0,0.07313906306074885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060228764636995925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513163068279268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06393078947076752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682864499660172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624842877948299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050639900861774764,0.07084974659244453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06356167152947874,0.0,0.0,0.06956579025970965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0694613158501847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05317382529665225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012530525997818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05286001681636829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045205958627531566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333253380329799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722071775818686,0.0,0.0676189749069155,0.0,0.04729914695763046,0.0,0.5663453465144009,0.0
bipolarreddit,bluesquare4,2019/05/11,looking to talk to someone want to make an online friend  (24m),2.823076923076921,4.085766692307693,4.003076923076924,89.51692307692308,74.38461538461539,5.2,28.384615384615394,3.1291,0.7786,49,2,10,0,1,16,11,13,0.0,0.69,0.31,0.5423,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4153815883977213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4514846462385012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3588808257685137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4555431036871773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4321370157149714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31711572565674434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bipolarbroINFJ,2019/05/11,"how do you not feel so isolated? At my lowest, I've been asked ""well, what do you want - what would make you feel better?""

​

Here are some of my ideas - what do you think?

​

[https://imgur.com/I2QASlg](https://imgur.com/I2QASlg)",6.7876315789473685,10.788518289473686,2.27926315789474,92.2578421052632,76.6315789473684,5.145263157894737,18.12631578947369,6.742157984588678,0.025719999999999743,197,4,32,2,5,48,28,38,0.14800000000000002,0.821,0.031,-0.7033,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,4,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,2,0,10,12,2,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,2,6,2,2,10,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,23,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4520660909285959,0.5069773819940673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195025811510638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18450201884328105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109628858136456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354996713272377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13925138089653358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13367134708487804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12304586796228395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18756892636396455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481933107590712,0.0,0.5069773819940673,0.0
bipolarreddit,ta_087952,2019/05/11,"Do you lose the weight back if you stop the meds that made you gain weight? I gained about 11kgs on olanzapine (zyprexa) and I've been going to the gym for the past 3 months but don't seem to be able to lose a single kilo. I don't think I eat that much either, I mostly just have one or two meals a day and that can't be over 2000 calories. Would going off of it make me lose weight or am I stuck with it?",3.950333333333333,3.00427336666667,4.54111111111111,94.565,70.8888888888889,7.6444444444444475,21.33333333333333,5.6839178017228535,-0.19740000000000046,313,3,82,1,5,100,62,90,0.152,0.8029999999999999,0.045,-0.8559,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,3,0,5,3,3,0,0,6,0,10,5,0,2,0,16,17,6,0,2,6,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,5,1,2,1,0,2,3,3,0,2,3,3,9,0,10,11,4,10,0,3,0,0,3,3,0,5,5,54,14,0,0.1633512384591709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560701930490342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534803509537882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671490976251198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18567254649422876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5482447566216921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15456689149777803,0.1090382201146512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18144640102746348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303854000763901,0.0,0.12008195570188232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069102674321372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15593724068718234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14870883244977212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13656894973613734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466887777071728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15957042411132286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5967534040902309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604003302540145,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,elcaminoavalhalla,2019/05/11,"Suicide plan I plan on suicide. At least today. Maybe tomorrow. I have diagnosed with bipolar. And since a teenager I have been depressed. Seldom bouts o hypomania. 

I really can't endure anymore of this. I work in the healthcare scene. Specially in elder Care. Death is part of the scenery everyday. It is inhumane for a person to confront an illness everyday. What's the purpose anyway When your existente is miserable despite the best treatment available does not work. 

I really can't function, and if can't function, I can't provide relaible care. Luckily there are no major major family attachment. So I can arrange everything orderly. 

Sincerely, I'm not optimistic of the future. Most newer treatment and confined to the rich. Inequality prevails. And even after my death, I don't see a bright future. Time will tell if a cure for the mentally ill if surfaced.

Thanks you. And have a great day.",3.133354037267079,6.267427552795034,4.5101863354037315,75.19459627329195,87.1366459627329,7.768944099378882,31.84472049689441,8.456263369488248,3.748257142857143,720,40,107,20,23,237,108,161,0.235,0.643,0.122,-0.9621,0,0,0,0,0,2,26.0,0,2,0,5,5,12,1,1,13,0,15,4,0,0,0,13,20,10,4,3,5,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,3,6,0,1,0,0,1,0,8,3,0,0,1,2,12,9,13,18,6,17,0,2,2,0,4,5,0,4,11,76,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18345991209148385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19413510566727446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3772183228487525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193029472755982,0.0,0.15933121676719553,0.1877604856044043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16188559006196904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218384421685773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662566672616643,0.0,0.1743916714171302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20395161712257384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858468537534078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18642594284432376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20032564099057565,0.0,0.0,0.16152572794097114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370180680901693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14741270995848035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15302525626760952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4046970559493523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16168900869314864,0.1703135111319888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786888641179984,0.0,0.17534845039559485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693491716539072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Frannie996,2019/05/11,"Can someone please explain their experiences on Zyprexa? Scared of Antipsychotics. A few years ago (before ECT) I was on Olanzapine 2.5mg for a couple of days because I was agitated. I can’t remember what it was like lol, but everyone says you put on weight, and it’s mostly treated for schizophrenia. 
Doctor also now recommends Latuda for me because I get really depressed in my Bi-Polar lows. If anyone is on antipsychotics please share 🤔",6.137291666666666,8.071988812500006,6.720000000000002,70.63166666666669,67.125,9.833333333333336,33.333333333333336,10.125756701596842,3.836208333333333,355,16,56,9,6,116,64,80,0.132,0.7070000000000001,0.161,0.0927,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,1,0,2,6,0,1,2,1,6,2,0,0,0,6,8,4,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,3,2,8,3,10,5,2,11,0,2,0,0,5,6,0,2,5,36,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19024683559086944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17163077416364084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500666276441973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616595577801705,0.0,0.1826250013630402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374718931334287,0.0,0.1384115301770305,0.0,0.18485107050013652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21967168855856894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20507769648759847,0.0,0.20993860990904384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121295938637496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485202542588563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4711745289304412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21575142018408447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749045699675674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431215425096077,0.0,0.0,0.1706736801706744,0.2148711064139451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18184602186457088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613481802601553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382076295591561
bipolarreddit,venustheskeleton,2019/05/11,"Im so depressed and every little thing takes an extreme amount of effort I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 in 2015 and I’ve been trying different meds on and off since and I’m so tired of it.

The most recent one was Trintellix with my existing Wellbutrin and Lamictal and I’ve just been getting worse than before. The warnings specifically mention that people with bipolar are more likely to get the increased-suicidal-thoughts side effects so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

I hate all the trial and error, it’s really frustrating and I really want to die right now. 

* I’m not looking for advice, just venting. the only thing I can do is keep trying but I’m going to be pissy about it",2.832857142857143,5.44412818796993,4.262368421052631,81.42407894736844,79.15037593984962,6.807518796992482,26.04135338345864,7.957251820313856,1.977986466165413,551,22,95,10,14,182,91,133,0.13699999999999998,0.8420000000000001,0.022000000000000002,-0.909,1,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,0,2,7,5,2,0,6,0,11,4,0,1,1,22,23,12,1,2,4,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,6,11,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,4,1,7,2,14,16,4,9,0,1,1,0,1,6,0,2,3,64,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842362721238676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160431185730202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16238672800818305,0.19136118787742964,0.1956717436841041,0.19698114147754572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15885063833178298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19700570639007775,0.0,0.1071499787984069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076948715672642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186141353344408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20365242118435503,0.0,0.0,0.16758043728219066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09210970370835808,0.18896370472490956,0.0,0.0,0.15832367976119072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20942221551040413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277576183733539,0.14339096039622534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13070788614088766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415633881226199,0.0,0.18615764101556687,0.0,0.0,0.1610096532947135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15595983745118175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14175643550707318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505113434359812,0.0,0.0,0.1496773976424019,0.0,0.2166956615812928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256008630069289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120406643816123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19213541212749055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Elysian-Visions,2019/05/11,"I just want to say that I am my best company In an effort to produce a positive post on this affliction called bipolar, I just want to say that I am my own best company. I have zero anxiety when I hang out with myself. Whether it’s watching a Warriors game drinking a beer (like I am now) or hanging out doing art, or puttering around in my beautiful backyard, or pretty much anything else. My weekends are my own and I simply adore spending time with myself. 

I never thought I’d get here in 1 million years… But I find I’m better alone than I am with someone. That is all!

GO DUB NATION!  (Have to throw that in!)",3.577195340501792,4.6701912177419365,5.009139784946238,83.68926523297492,72.30645161290323,7.769175627240144,30.71326164874552,8.167268648758528,2.212273476702509,477,21,95,7,9,160,81,124,0.028999999999999998,0.743,0.228,0.9785,0,1,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,5,6,5,0,0,4,0,9,3,0,1,2,21,15,7,0,2,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,6,7,2,0,2,5,1,4,1,0,0,2,1,3,18,5,16,14,6,19,0,0,1,0,4,9,0,3,6,73,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22397948497953413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16543782469878307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17796303348644044,0.1925166872927101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4539017294392976,0.1912638369882292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208249941172877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118518499753728,0.0,0.0,0.18065695228451906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976571446106968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298659407662287,0.0,0.12290518261276208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10565340359032782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589755187043357,0.0,0.16679255667632226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20711669506683114,0.2200135240441054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3439562591199508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832358608364079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716857818969155,0.12610257667390204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551107568313796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwawaylovetart,2019/10/31,"Voice in my head that tells me how shitty I am. Hi guys, I am diagnosed with bipolar after being misdiagnosed with many other things, and I just need some advice or insight on something that keeps happening to me. MY moods shift SOO much but the worse time is like I'll just be minding my own business and then all of the sudden my brain is like

""You know who is useless? You are, you don't even blah blah blah""

​

and it just goes on and fucking on like a video on fast forward and I can't get the voice (not literal voice) to stop in my head and then I feel so exhausted I cry and then it goes away and I feel more manageable for a while.  I hate it. I know I can't keep crying to everyone about this when it happens but it feel like I'm going to pass out sometimes because it is so draining. Does anyone else relate to this? It wants to convince me that everyone hates me and I'd be better off dead and it will just be there all day and no one knows and I'll just be trying to get work done or something.",2.392170671085335,3.7560877089201923,3.534029273681305,92.04159072079538,75.66666666666666,6.514112123722729,23.32753383043357,7.048011613610866,0.6145185860259597,794,23,178,8,17,257,120,213,0.166,0.722,0.11199999999999999,-0.9576,0,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,3,0,2,12,12,3,0,5,0,17,7,3,1,2,42,36,24,1,2,10,0,3,7,0,1,3,3,0,1,16,15,0,3,7,1,0,3,5,5,0,1,1,6,22,6,22,29,6,23,0,1,0,1,7,10,1,3,16,122,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12476779331500268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13834164248400874,0.15514564161013358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927709305749684,0.1308236417548274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995992354485226,0.0,0.0,0.07783277686731918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292292361926615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425335347394062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805018123522184,0.08234328480508839,0.0,0.0,0.12959290188824582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11173396427096496,0.13066136229187536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066605770612541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433168930594485,0.0,0.0,0.2440081566535873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19367711522010111,0.0912148916859458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180384573926022,0.13341546142568209,0.0,0.07256370449917841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264236538259909,0.22581468341579625,0.0,0.0,0.2521158904673829,0.262073819104861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269763833302556,0.0,0.0,0.2105093993890237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24951274452326996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12944786892676344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289207900343062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385977317336644,0.09467338674243538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651953244530827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965891946698266,0.1262791643398256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067465179912772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159828316660164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482517356807451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07445145856200748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668659942778993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753091984395774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092952840059672,0.0,0.13011721911469362,0.0,0.0,0.15514564161013358,0.0
bipolarreddit,spurrit,2019/10/31,"Quetiapine/Seroquel side effects? Took my first dose last night, got terrible abdominal pain/gas/constipation. Does this go away? Does anything help?",6.4284782608695625,10.242356956521746,5.635108695652175,64.90309782608696,88.13043478260867,9.256521739130434,36.184782608695656,8.841846274778883,5.124226086956521,122,7,16,4,4,37,22,23,0.15,0.74,0.111,-0.2359,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,7,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,4,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25192161544127123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28762230555071044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5357986144417599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603968221716803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17398260494514772,0.0,0.24484275978260675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20519469291793932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495394924148992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28728535692853885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32574740717123296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34012535201916394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Emxxv,2019/10/31,"Vraylar causing incredible tiredness Been on it since mid September. Its now October 31st. 

I have been experiencing levels of tiredness through the roof. Taking atleast a nap and atleast 8 hours of asleep. Has anyone experienced levels like this? I know at first it caused me to be drowsy but shouldn’t it be gone by now?

Kinda freaking me out. Thank you.",3.0997743055555564,6.222196234375005,3.408333333333335,83.29222222222225,86.65625,5.969444444444445,27.42361111111111,7.3871296695380915,1.9566340277777785,285,13,49,5,9,88,53,64,0.05,0.867,0.083,0.2731,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,7,1,1,2,0,8,11,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,2,5,2,8,5,0,11,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,5,32,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23254055620451125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6832816473727014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828837256005817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32751428925481674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827716798853609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16247681909341427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751051982061105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500511216509323,0.0,0.0,0.3061856152373056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,brandnewdayinfinity,2019/10/31,"Can I ask for advice on how best to handle my bipolar ex husband? This explains everything. A huge big duh. 
We’re already getting along better since I feel like I’m framing his behavior differently and I’d still love advice on how to approach him for maximum harmony while coparenting. I’m no longer seeing him as a crazy asshole but someone who maybe needs to be communicated with differently. So far we’ve been much nicer to each other.",4.643752151462998,6.8526435301204875,5.952358003442343,73.50602409638556,71.5301204819277,8.598278829604133,32.339070567986234,9.23628265651192,3.26522512908778,355,17,60,8,7,119,67,83,0.039,0.769,0.192,0.899,3,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,2,1,3,2,0,2,0,10,12,7,0,1,1,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,6,4,11,10,3,8,0,0,1,1,9,5,0,0,3,36,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43881938004664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477762142472794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20990674520075275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23563207151088275,0.19857996210029144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4691754853025926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20179453259990865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352992810617005,0.16040542658148912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173084986837193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10969480279758947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20264854373555566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22557218068920096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650565678086026,0.16648734330158166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789226224446072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18573486749799528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902449039676408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17931123326432705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cupnoodlehead,2019/10/31,I think I need to check myself into a hospital again. I need to be at my internship in 10 minutes and I’m sobbing on the bathroom floor. I need to function.  I have exams. I have work. But I can’t. I want to die. I don’t know what to do.,-2.904444444444444,-1.3502862592592582,0.953703703703706,98.91166666666668,106.03703703703705,3.8814814814814818,17.11111111111111,5.82211442006289,-0.4390222222222221,178,6,45,2,9,65,36,54,0.142,0.83,0.027999999999999997,-0.7351,0,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,9,13,2,1,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,11,0,9,12,0,6,0,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,32,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3760730120905577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19914386613460847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8060572059774626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321859907758657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21372962408733934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638027754304665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,imissthem0untains,2019/10/31,"Dreamlike State and Derealization My mood’s been off for a while now. I felt depressed for about a month and a half. The last two weeks I’ve felt like I’m swinging into (hypo)mania (my doctor isn’t sure if I’m bipolar I or II so idk what terminology to use). My energy level has been bizarre (I applied to a tons of different jobs even though I have no time for a new job, I started researching playwriting competitions even though I haven’t written any plays, etc.). Most worrisome is that I’ve only been sleeping every other night. I didn’t sleep last night. Nothing feels real at all right now. I feel like I’m on the brink of waking up from a deep sleep and the last few years of my life were all a dream. Like I feel like I’m realizing my current state is a dream but I’m going in and out of that awareness. I had a complete meltdown thinking I was about to wake up and it would be 3 years ago when I was in a terrible place mentally and very suicidal and everything since then (recovering from self injury, getting properly medicated, getting in a healthy relationship) will have been a dream. I don’t know if this is from (hypo)mania or lack of sleep. I just know nothing feels real, and I’m scared. I swear time has stopped because it feels like every time I look at the clock it’s 6:30. I don’t know what’s happening. Am I delusional? Hallucinating? I’m not even sure what this is. I’ve never had an episode this intense before. I have had severe issues with dissociation in the past so maybe this is related to that? I’m not sure why I’m even posting here. I guess maybe I’m hoping someone might have advice for how to ground myself in moments like this.",3.106351582549188,4.903746679640721,4.536394354148847,83.78498502994016,74.71856287425148,7.645680068434559,26.59923011120616,8.418075326091056,1.7790379811804955,1317,49,269,24,28,438,172,334,0.114,0.767,0.11900000000000001,-0.6538,4,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,0,16,15,0,1,18,0,31,10,6,2,6,48,62,21,1,5,8,0,7,6,0,3,4,0,0,1,15,11,0,1,12,4,0,1,9,3,0,2,14,8,26,11,33,44,7,49,0,1,1,0,2,19,0,8,32,165,41,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461039292069505,0.076752861777993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05888114005810593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0527817448548302,0.0,0.07367792186024631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078329705654367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457600343020862,0.0,0.0,0.09046346621243333,0.0,0.08862397472267526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656577104389924,0.2287557446761057,0.0,0.1459041129090908,0.0,0.07781750519182437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21890126694724268,0.18557019293307875,0.16627140413791955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904747476331733,0.0,0.04920856084996121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953837400656075,0.0,0.07656731189769088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599898349240884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037281382996616,0.17184558700169655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14275545413259386,0.2117363279076964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06115793139764389,0.2538079434434023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271005106007693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17397363660705034,0.0,0.0,0.08722582779021408,0.08725786468669343,0.09185358073345284,0.0,0.0,0.06911175631239604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06678011048880826,0.08362485935457294,0.0,0.1625093378982092,0.0,0.16616233218912213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06585220901692743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08265570050086833,0.0,0.0,0.09046346621243333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829250180958661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971066134450232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09296047208892072,0.0,0.07394358272800579,0.0,0.0,0.0866872359766359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032760752124558,0.09781702077486414,0.0,0.07162445795538169,0.0,0.346592306024244,0.0,0.07336365168808699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128569473039939,0.0,0.0,0.0723893930491754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471053333124388,0.0,0.2448175556964462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055480521360087985,0.17013971759250962,0.0,0.15146618358183705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845814965432191,0.0,0.0,0.07478211099890328,0.0,0.07144214297692084,0.0,0.0,0.069453701808937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07812998725815201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061507887234577924,0.0,0.0,0.11151650491606988
bipolarreddit,SBMSP123,2019/10/31,"Lamictal rash For anyone who got a rash from lamictal, how long did it take to go away after you stopped the medication?",3.979130434782608,6.168375826086957,5.312391304347828,77.45815217391308,73.34782608695652,9.817391304347826,28.89130434782609,10.125756701596842,3.268234782608696,96,4,18,3,2,32,21,23,0.278,0.722,0.0,-0.743,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,2,1,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,5,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,12,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009927223726047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40443816803175575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24464446830255385,0.0,0.34428399783777525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38094998581635936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.433650484659599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35988991076689986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3236578129272462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FertilityHotel,2019/10/31,"Need a little support real quick; looking for some words of encouragement So this weekend I went out and partied for the first time in about a year, but maybe longer than that. Pretty much to feel comfortable enough to do something social, like go to a party, I drink. It's not healthy, I know, but it's the only way I can really get myself out to a social event. Did it this weekend, my horrible fucking habit of peer pressuring came out. It's been an issue for years and only comes out when partying so really there is a simple solution here. 

Main point is I pressured my friend hard without being remotely aware of my actions, and really hurt their feelings. Admittedly I really fucked up. 

Trying to not go down the rabbit hole on this one. I owned up and apologized, recognizing how big of a problem me peer pressuring people is. This just makes me feel like the shittiest fucking friend, which then goes into being a horrible person, which then goes immediately to self harm. Haven't gotten there yet, but I'm dangling. I've been clean off that for a month and I don't want to break the streak. Still that urge to punish myself is there. Like I haven't REALLY learned my lesson yet. 

I just need some support. I really do not want to self harm so here I am for help. Idk what I need to hear, but I guess anything outside of my brain will help",3.65217904233171,5.593246778625957,4.637751561415687,83.02360860513535,73.58015267175573,7.81707147814018,24.504510756419148,8.575989854853784,1.6932992366412218,1064,33,203,20,22,346,145,262,0.195,0.619,0.185,-0.7284,0,0,2,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,2,17,20,4,3,14,0,17,5,1,2,0,42,44,16,0,6,10,0,4,3,2,1,0,1,1,3,14,12,1,0,7,3,0,6,7,11,0,2,6,6,24,9,34,35,6,37,0,1,1,3,14,14,3,3,18,141,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961111515316482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12156257410526734,0.0,0.12454660403422275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938031999327692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10667541540305674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11251740415356744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651813989913545,0.07779444360479428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262583354060948,0.0,0.0,0.16826365437085392,0.3020143733254214,0.056893021512445664,0.0,0.123774811614145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199598632204507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754832249838603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12273231711572052,0.0,0.14597973440015802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657410074087135,0.0,0.0,0.11365784544025205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05984571633117726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15960144862631892,0.10914116463914944,0.0,0.0,0.09144417878686023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07268810283620541,0.0,0.1093994303273876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691876443991005,0.0,0.08005018364802026,0.2422322707294535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378991262417693,0.1656387552218349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549392060081313,0.09508271064629104,0.0,0.0,0.10294075311359413,0.0,0.0,0.1107851268441776,0.0,0.1041975858637002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239460854252918,0.41856465852417535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272019829758425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220090038915057,0.0,0.08383251207878234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696350192866585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24714498321921516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349741459254701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07393239903957104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284579103837855,0.08643559774572564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094654037059196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497066987639443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14024931992971815
bipolarreddit,Barneymiller34,2019/10/31,I Can not tell if my mom is bipolar can anbody help me? Im 21 years old and you know i love my mom.  When shes in a great mood.  Shes fantastic to be around.   But as i have gotten older it just seem like from one day to the next you dont know what her mood is going to be.  They flip so much.  I just get tired of it.  I feel like i walk on egg shells so much with her and me and my dad get the blunt end of it and my dad tells me how much he gets sick of it.   I just feel overwhelmed.  So please can of you help me?,-1.90656706929434,-0.4167672892561961,0.6201652892561995,107.19430387794023,89.66115702479341,4.053655435473618,11.787031150667515,4.713530739802397,-1.9180926891290528,382,3,114,1,13,129,73,121,0.047,0.75,0.20199999999999999,0.9599,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,1,0,9,7,0,1,3,0,11,5,0,1,0,18,22,12,0,1,6,4,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,6,1,0,5,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,1,2,23,4,13,19,3,12,0,1,0,1,18,3,0,2,9,72,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15111639806706836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947681435176812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19894956552931897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15035100977414612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17166470536386125,0.12127176838835375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26606722825172585,0.0,0.0964746940195203,0.0,0.0,0.18715357695976886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275640742352241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833626589610416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18658391303160834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16586574409335558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320895174110966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3976259510534437,0.0,0.0,0.3743645515401421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18053452604524972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781274989148984,0.0,0.11502920746649008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863381120237044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545369994592907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29674367635747084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19510640954717173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093155388419844
bipolarreddit,Spoonriver1993,2019/03/05,"Failing all of my classes again I failed one my first year, two last semester and I'm on my way to failing at least one this semester. My French teacher scolded me very harshly today and is speaking to the dean. Everything she said was true. I'm just so ashamed and needed to vent. My family is very disappointed in me as I have quite a high potential and a medium at an ""elite"" college but doing pretty much none of my work. I've already taken a leave of absence and being cooped up with my mother for that long drive me insane. Plus I really love school. I just feel so ashamed and need some motivation/support.",3.4989256198347114,5.321964057851243,4.6347851239669415,83.38490495867771,73.71074380165291,7.484628099173554,27.802479338842968,8.238735603445708,1.9507646280991733,485,19,93,8,10,159,86,121,0.162,0.745,0.094,-0.7218,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,7,5,8,0,2,5,0,6,1,0,0,2,17,14,11,0,2,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,8,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,6,0,4,3,3,15,2,15,10,5,14,0,4,0,1,5,6,0,1,6,64,17,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210874667999793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800586152392935,0.0,0.1888689541407328,0.0,0.1013012660929882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17041472468228494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21167719395698908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633092275957392,0.0,0.2121381329245204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773004458960146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18082063817669594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14727781101330487,0.2971089464468993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715200967916974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20382452895028824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21309328159117505,0.0,0.0,0.12834716895846568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19057550565210246,0.0,0.0,0.2027614659853665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273509595648889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899051609936061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19570952711600387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33061387158177546,0.0,0.15902581417665304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14585471867881053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290166486449054
bipolarreddit,Flamestaaq,2019/03/05,why did i drink coffee at 4 pm honestly though i'm thankful for my meds which will allow me to get much needed sleep. i hope that this is okay to say. ,3.5190909090909086,3.2527719696969686,4.790454545454548,90.10568181818184,71.72727272727273,7.8121212121212125,22.560606060606066,7.1686216300943375,0.4816787878787876,117,2,28,1,2,39,30,33,0.0,0.642,0.358,0.9081,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,3,2,1,1,0,3,8,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,4,4,6,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,16,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33015211816512124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17607947895190024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3347377384268987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37435417748774136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477490956191161,0.24989668258960615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680124991068141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372642325620044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102835094247118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33112126429107785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3041088879896441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,spiderguy22,2018/12/25,"First Holidays being diagnosed I have recently been diagnosed with cyclothymia and just figured I would post here for some reason after lurking for a year.

I know alot people have this worst off then I do, but the mood swing of a depression is hitting hard right now. I have a loving and supporting family and amazing life yet still fele empty right now.

  
We traveled out to see my side of the family on the west coast (east coast is the norm for us) yet I can't seem to pull myself out right now. Sleep has been bad, I have been staying away from alcohol and such, I have been woking out everyday in an effort to manage, but at time the frustration and self doubt creep in and it's just hit a tipping point.

I had this expectation that it would be calm and we  spend alot of relaxing time together, but instead it has just been chaotic and us trying to make sure my girls stay happy.

Like I said not sure what I am hoping on getting out of this, not sucidial or anything just feel empty and it sucks cause going back to the whole expectation versus reality thing for this time of the year.

Hope other people are having a good holiday and staying strong. ",5.276175595238094,6.236046290178575,5.774178571428571,80.26248809523811,68.24107142857143,9.187619047619053,27.87976190476191,9.3871,2.3158265476190483,915,29,174,18,15,295,136,224,0.128,0.662,0.21,0.9779,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,4,0,0,3,14,20,2,1,15,0,24,6,1,3,2,47,40,15,0,6,11,0,2,1,0,2,4,1,0,2,12,17,1,0,5,4,1,3,3,6,0,1,8,4,18,13,28,26,5,42,0,1,1,1,8,18,1,8,18,132,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267524420989029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976016299255884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11143309705891148,0.09119975643567503,0.0990300389686833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183978245706915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215412507095108,0.2407627145387353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22362006610804455,0.0,0.05997014152909193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088516710597407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061966103440574676,0.0,0.06740583094309671,0.09948006410013152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625699604371665,0.10624658845140117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356026204563162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518208648562962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377406519138916,0.057944305598655176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070454465286072,0.0,0.07916961306514747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16445124441355838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211985558355744,0.0,0.1135905959080206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219454696469173,0.11710791378381075,0.0,0.0,0.3038635077271178,0.11282030804475715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09451265555920163,0.10797333918362784,0.12373065452240857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186904371034184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3792507507047031,0.09471793223159183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13459130125151486,0.22356720708946626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879574711229362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074782067950156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052486165625282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853338990052534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324180036475046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16850686860127045,0.0,0.0,0.15275518218581566
bipolarreddit,peace_pizza_and_kiah,2018/12/25,"Mum seems to have made the diagnosis without the doctor.. So I’ve was diagnosed as depressed at about 15 (I’m now 22) and have had a number of episodes where I’ve went back into my depressive state. It happens the same every time where the GP will prescribe me meds, I don’t take them because they take a month to kick in so I’ll have 1/2 months before I go to the docs, a month of them kicking in and then 2/3 months where they’re helping but I’m not depressed all the time so don’t see the point in being medicated when I’m fine. My mum seems to have put in her head that I’ve got bipolar disorder. I had a slight loss of reality about a year and a half ago where I thought some unseen force was out to get me. My family has quite a stiff upper lip mentality so it lasted about 3/4 months without a diagnosis, I got over it as I do and came back to reality. I sometimes get slight delusional moments, less intense ( your usual “none of this is real” sot of stuff) but the closest I could say I’ve been to a manic episode is I sometimes go into fits of uncontrollable laughter over nothing, and I’ll start talking faster than other people, neither of which I think is enough for me to be classed as bipolar. Like I said before I’m not really keen on talking to a doctor about these things, so I’m just wondering how I can get my mum off my back? Some sort of evidence I can give her to prove this isn’t the manic episodes she thinks it is? 

Any help would be appreciated :) ",4.511381578947368,4.747581322368422,5.555263157894737,83.73184210526317,69.65789473684211,8.505263157894738,29.157894736842106,8.371475516178862,1.8468118421052635,1158,40,249,16,19,384,162,304,0.071,0.8420000000000001,0.087,0.5762,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,3,2,20,8,0,1,19,0,26,9,2,2,2,34,54,18,0,2,7,3,0,1,0,2,7,2,0,0,12,9,0,1,7,0,0,5,9,5,0,1,12,3,28,3,41,36,8,46,0,4,1,0,17,20,0,6,21,161,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09159085673607284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026414310280378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383502842919196,0.0,0.06298560235137482,0.0,0.17584292831275974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118175601050397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249613516060841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669794931900607,0.10487210291633693,0.0,0.0,0.11841872741838053,0.21151382721558104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676173764500707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705527320475745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740505971603797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16194822167031533,0.09911819072752194,0.1174432885651544,0.0,0.16527594180638475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136943603447993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10604065550034296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13851235035822987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422318606312633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050479088440250834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776805663273808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11477012858031485,0.10408847451092093,0.10412670483520768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4123627982430498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914255970341744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07163213731785566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976749664602401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386957215509726,0.0,0.10989823029892257,0.0,0.11760580111002394,0.06619226390944243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09828517658135187,0.08216771932410946,0.0,0.0,0.08233617867027525,0.1881253276410322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20438097034443176,0.0,0.07313355041091321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11828173125053508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15537419743728795,0.16609649653475805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06864414796420347,0.13241222192425006,0.0,0.08202804144306244,0.1204985907533632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379724192745695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578276481127436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992020914821105,0.11205091696713207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339869755131448,0.0,0.0,0.06653753351255434
bipolarreddit,WilhelmRyan_,2018/12/25,"Questions about Effexor XR I’ve been taking Effexor XR for about a month now and the side-effects are still outweighing the benefits. I’ve been on meds for years so I understand that medication takes time to work, I just want to know if any of what I’m going through is normal and if I’m going to start feeling better soon. Maybe some of you have gone through this as well. Beyond the night sweats and the fatigue that I still have during the day, I am getting more and more irritable. Like my fuse is getting super short with everyone close to me. I’ve almost lost my filter when it comes to being blunt or being in an argument with my spouse. When I’m at work, I’m starting to be stoic around customers and very non approachable. I’m hoping that someone else has felt this way. Thank you for letting me rant. ",4.786691134952001,5.770150447204973,5.289610389610392,83.20766233766237,69.37267080745342,8.339017504234898,28.300959909655557,8.575989854853784,1.9669204968944105,646,22,127,10,11,207,105,161,0.075,0.792,0.133,0.8323,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,5,13,9,0,0,7,0,13,3,1,0,0,24,36,12,0,5,4,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,10,0,0,5,0,0,5,0,2,1,0,5,2,11,7,23,27,3,26,0,2,0,0,4,7,0,7,14,81,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16942318208388016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150576072116164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15061838106361888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496381944251013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14574550424958632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911602415475416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14133973560229685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16167195648311425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554948482888201,0.0,0.16245261121766466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17679358730953615,0.0,0.19231350684230927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16804765080131426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298450490086216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17301215577300855,0.0,0.08265955967983714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184695053515618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16997794477278327,0.0,0.18793620459442628,0.1704449849763555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13504890196843122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15877694920360105,0.16577403145664296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895358129227463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14335738423556066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395125293098189,0.0,0.2702368245217092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544254094638814,0.0,0.0,0.15577094798529065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865828367229132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17613674536086138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13960263026298333,0.09979490538250066,0.13429818798926008,0.0,0.0,0.15212557373260724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463502486016299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895528014219463
bipolarreddit,daysxdesign,2018/12/25,"Guilt over dating a real stable guy Has anyone felt guilt over being bipolar when entering a new relationship with someone very stable? I met and have been dating a guy for three months that is really kind and sweet. I am currently pretty stable and have been for a year but have times of utter despair and some odd actions. delusional thinking, blackouts from anger, laying in bed for days and so on. My boyfriend is supportive and listens to my mental health concerns but I feel down the line this will become a burden for him. I mean, if my illness goes into full blown bipolar mode. He also had no clue even what bipolar was so this is a new concept for him to handle. I will say I am bipolar with hypomania so my illness is more depression related. Has anyone dealt with this? In the past my ex boyfriends had some form of mental illness which ended in craziness so I realize that isn’t a good idea but this is literally the first time I have been with a very caring good guy in a long time. ",3.929332901554407,5.8750794818652885,4.705048575129535,82.81436042746115,72.8341968911917,7.104792746113992,26.570272020725387,7.865858978985527,1.6696220207253885,792,28,145,11,16,255,112,193,0.184,0.695,0.121,-0.9515,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,7,12,1,2,12,0,23,8,0,0,0,24,31,16,0,1,4,1,2,0,0,2,8,2,1,3,8,11,0,0,6,0,0,2,2,6,0,2,8,5,15,6,23,20,5,28,0,2,0,0,11,10,0,3,16,106,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145797295924456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20036725581541934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582397979656827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460819350207854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09240275106514358,0.0,0.12340552430641348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269021848216486,0.0,0.0,0.09463406897460468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244589244915264,0.0,0.1375697869355918,0.0,0.0,0.12187258158009652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24035034238286104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4256045932906618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15229829885071966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161743937043549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14920246376398916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679692495431266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15607224223116614,0.0,0.0,0.2887819686287353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436349671714305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767584514865786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367754986598241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14576569940673093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16308225070821958,0.0917878478437085,0.0,0.0,0.15382744140534169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11394077908113408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139937091257645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16259069407612908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09180704934989134,0.0,0.0,0.2506404599316001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364394632622379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226662817125328
bipolarreddit,SCthr0waway123,2018/12/10,"Bipolar twitter star in the New York Times ""He talks in bursts of inspiration, then mumbles through lulls, and frequently changes topics. Mr. Hill says he was diagnosed as manic depressive and does not take any medication for it, which may explain the mood swings. “When I’m manic, I’m very impulsive, have no self-control, I waste my money, I have random, reckless sex,” he said[ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sF7EkEb9f3g)in a video titled “[Mania Periscope](https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=sF7EkEb9f3g)” from July, during which he said he was hyped up on Adderall. Then, as if remembering he has an audience, he added: “I didn’t ask anyone to follow me. You guys came out of nowhere.” (Mr. Hill later said he was being “a bit dramatic” and tries not be reckless.)"" 

[https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/08/style/jovan-hill-live-stream-social-media-money.html](https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/08/style/jovan-hill-live-stream-social-media-money.html) 

Overall a really interesting article!",13.768808080808078,18.069238985185198,8.163771043771046,58.39151515151517,51.74074074074074,9.64983164983165,33.013468013468014,10.018931242160765,3.8350740740740736,833,28,96,16,11,217,103,135,0.085,0.867,0.048,-0.589,0,0,0,0,0,0,92.0,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,6,0,10,4,0,0,0,13,20,9,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,3,3,5,0,0,3,1,1,2,4,1,0,0,8,4,6,2,13,9,1,14,0,1,0,1,19,5,0,3,7,48,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834895774515824,0.0,0.11516313143280335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11841276268726722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583184603504854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848852537493908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936901479892144,0.0,0.0,0.17914879367017153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18993931047827772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14586005088031548,0.1718856765123868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14819845653805533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16768214113908358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990765501634974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706013073154927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16355832545695734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848930979325844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19183941139538035,0.0,0.4832690562513747,0.13467312689220734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17666794710011435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3452599703711557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273293769096198,0.13611631634768506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09874876737693686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497685884102743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13973066576790266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,akainrath,2018/12/10,"Chat rooms? Hey I was wondering if there are any active bipolar focused chat rooms you guys know about? I like this subreddit but I'm looking for something more ""real time""",2.081875,4.933040937500003,2.3934999999999995,89.3015,92.75,5.0600000000000005,25.15,6.742157984588678,1.38383,138,6,24,2,5,42,28,32,0.0,0.8190000000000001,0.18100000000000002,0.5803,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,6,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,2,5,1,3,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,2,2,12,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754955186948497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4011325315162135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226433786436374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19792118766385647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401988006916533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4611152964738357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3118811984155337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362287526443309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4393354010583781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,heyitsmorganc,2018/12/10,"Painkillers+Lithium Interactions Hey beautiful people!! For those of you taking Lithium Carbonate, what painkillers do you take for a simple headache? I see my Psychiatrist tomorrow and want to come with questions. I’ve noticed there are several negative drug interactions with quite a few common ones. 😞",8.097500000000004,11.98640541666667,6.8373333333333335,63.14100000000002,67.75,11.340000000000002,38.766666666666666,10.793553405168565,5.961161666666667,252,14,32,9,5,76,42,48,0.075,0.8079999999999999,0.11699999999999999,0.2695,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,7,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,6,7,1,3,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,1,2,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570573093331662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34606559637156553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3397464116580153,0.0,0.0,0.20221310582896207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068827514899875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33429206851389925,0.3174001100544298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23779738855051216,0.0,0.0,0.33712297388337786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4487405050297465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760123579445253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Goldberry87,2019/10/28,"I can’t sleep I’m feeling so hyper-sexual. I want to cheat on my partner, I can’t stand it, so much sexual tension between myself and someone i have met.",-0.17772727272727096,1.9941353939393949,3.360833333333337,85.66125000000002,89.0,5.724242424242425,23.40151515151515,7.1686216300943375,1.2640969696969695,120,5,24,2,4,44,25,33,0.188,0.708,0.10400000000000001,-0.5401,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,3,7,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,6,0,3,6,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,17,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2988125968325048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4344315413027069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5913975993011895,0.0,0.5007276472117463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.348569893642793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Meditatespace,2019/10/28,"I'm trying to find a sub that I feel cozy in. A little about me -I was told by a professional that I had BP1w/borderline personality traits in August 2017. I was on meds for a bit but already now it's been probably nearly a year since I've been on them (with their blessing).

A lot of the time I do quite well (mentally) and there's only one mentally related sub I'm actually subscribed to but it's kinda jokey, tongue-in-cheek, (circle)jerky but pertaining to self harm. I've been in need of a place to discuss loneliness and depression/mental illness.

...The following is like what brings me here

It's going to get colder and colder real quick. I have no car, no job and nobody that has time to take me. I'll have to wait til warmer weather to come around again. But anyhow with that being said, I wanted to say loneliness has been becoming a trigger here and there. I thought the other day ""man I'd love to have a job, if not for the money at least a little human interaction"". But yeah, like I said that's a dead idea. Then my head was like ""if I hurt myself good enough they'll put me in a habitat"".

 - Just kinda like what you'd call a fleeting thought. Like I said I do well a lot of the time. I feel like some of my problems are like what you'd call environmental. I think it'd be ""funner"" if I didn't live so far from places and/or -Man, I wish I had like a significant other.",2.564494279176201,4.031098059649125,4.2306788710907695,86.80098398169338,75.42105263157895,7.482837528604119,22.91762013729977,8.18289091462,1.0993524027459949,1077,30,234,18,23,362,156,285,0.11800000000000001,0.696,0.185,0.9516,2,0,0,0,0,2,46.0,0,2,3,1,13,16,0,0,20,1,25,3,1,1,0,39,47,16,1,7,10,0,2,8,0,1,1,4,0,5,14,9,0,1,7,0,1,6,4,3,2,1,16,6,29,13,31,25,6,32,1,1,0,1,20,15,0,9,19,149,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.10405256376065418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11766553790849445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492062975104587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776113619570995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11640905989514715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177561623477786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918497128243006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876558926977716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11017418666578577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782762259813547,0.0761743449002578,0.0,0.0,0.0974551396301287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05570820282645151,0.0,0.06059857717961278,0.089433662605446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943005641313147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141464010126976,0.12036889609241315,0.0,0.0,0.21162167490834835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4167405016225865,0.21373651723183051,0.09415358806389194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813009123769034,0.09623502392049736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184385515708698,0.0,0.21490985943958849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079062564032019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07225320979154788,0.0810946327556217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310257724339106,0.22280502597603413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11496193243605247,0.10202763173778362,0.0,0.10718957825098847,0.0,0.11341093172774208,0.0,0.12136486132849132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30428006222114884,0.08479406430061694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123520788416404,0.0,0.0,0.08820295022630292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017022862826634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832227152213285,0.0,0.1692998437291625,0.18652517077000808,0.0,0.0,0.10188666093800977,0.0,0.07239272887346293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06289136291308246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19174094367458472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122615779419025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06866428740480482
bipolarreddit,riderbaron,2019/10/28,"How do you find other bipolar groups or meetups in your area? I checked the rules and didn't see anything saying that I couldn't ask this, but I wanted to know how people are able to find bipolar groups or meetups to join and meet others who have bipolar. I don't have any bipolar friends that I can meet with and hang out with in person. And the friends I do have care about me and love me but they don't understand bipolar like other people who have it do. I tried a small group nearby once and there were only two other people there and we didn't click at all. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm having a really hard time right now. I'm in a current downswing and I'd really just like people to talk to- people who understand what it's like. I don't know how else to reach out except through here. I hope I haven't made a mistake by posting this. 

Thank you if you've read this.",3.4131628477905065,4.14015670744681,4.172340425531917,90.90653846153849,72.35106382978724,6.63567921440262,24.036006546644845,6.297961479604792,0.5004692307692307,703,18,155,4,13,225,100,188,0.053,0.775,0.172,0.9765,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,3,1,0,9,10,0,0,6,0,19,6,0,4,1,36,35,16,0,5,7,0,1,3,2,0,5,2,0,1,17,13,0,0,6,1,1,1,7,1,0,1,4,5,18,9,19,30,1,14,0,0,2,1,21,9,0,5,6,102,35,1,0.14169451735727526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963571307149856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11660251462971928,0.0,0.13246524637521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14446700389029102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183675874086578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25901244370385895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189456652435666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15609248565017686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12693045591254334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14073462717529608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15574320221559426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20767435174270887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278848340382519,0.1340747783535546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15090003657671808,0.0,0.1077650654496982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4911656866598143,0.1237221871440572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13570417964599024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417328619060068,0.0,0.1815462722290983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12100634361742353,0.0,0.2253623348079948,0.0,0.0,0.11291218508274302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388868575885468,0.0,0.13045327432379006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262321254815144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19240255242638535,0.0,0.13841495443942387,0.2950179793889392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357509751567642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,loveisjustchemicals,2019/10/28,"How do you creat a support system with few friends or family and a late shift work schedule? I’m trying to not be a burden to the very few people left in my life. My long distance “boyfriend” (not sure where we are, I created a depth to the relationship in the past when I was I’m dealing with an episode) is helpful and also BP. My one good frond lives a 45 minute drive away, but prefers to do things in the morning when I’m asleep. My ex husband is there for acute moments, but he’s still my ex. And my parents live 6 hours away and we aren’t emotionally close. How does one make new friends and build support, when they aren’t at their best? I feel like I’m not well enough to create new friendships, and have had experiences with new friends pulling away as soon as there’s a positive life change on their part. I don’t have hobbies, because trying to get myself mentally and physically well has taken almost all of my time, money, and energy. I have a therapist I’ve been seeing for about half a year, and start with a new psychiatrist on the 4th (my third one in 6 months, not my doing). Where does a 37 year old make real friends that won’t ditch them when life is hard?  I’m typically very supportive of others myself, when I’m able to be.",5.831366459627332,5.314422122529648,6.149556747600228,83.1604841897233,66.90513833992094,9.283907396950877,30.719649915302092,8.634040054169528,2.0670566911349524,979,32,210,13,14,315,143,253,0.023,0.768,0.209,0.9936,3,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,2,1,4,2,17,14,0,0,16,0,20,4,1,4,2,33,36,22,0,1,7,4,2,1,4,1,3,0,0,0,3,16,0,0,2,0,1,2,8,1,2,5,4,3,23,13,28,29,6,41,0,0,1,0,19,15,0,2,24,133,26,1,0.0988736435502234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09900767174732868,0.0,0.0,0.07906921702505014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786851285102559,0.0,0.0,0.06027245539623587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376178888691026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045952046988602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193438497316112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730499835370529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121954096540676,0.0,0.102162904378303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671739575682743,0.0932092716102197,0.0,0.04999348499957676,0.07063535070816772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30555812696090084,0.0,0.051657397895847536,0.0,0.0,0.08293052118168256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08857136385820633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627291910475773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737062231816633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11153377655742933,0.0,0.1074265030176943,0.0,0.2095121354416469,0.04830466793799351,0.0,0.17461447740794034,0.08750006316983447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13199784967239775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09964137736947563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07891999897220553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38197112424590457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10375125656888604,0.0,0.20099801921891666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10978748025569172,0.10707052079866576,0.09438608055465438,0.06854653508498611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253985255549094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061532907447974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878949269574383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06998327380469863,0.0,0.0789606194595005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33660191698532144,0.09318723892457807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11479992084722022,0.06568725537154065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057654016674914224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425742746836666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631622216291288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17779855959776675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198119008397387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12734276949320766
bipolarreddit,ShiekZe,2019/10/28,"What do you think about Kanye right now...With this new album and church of his? Kinda weirding me out since I got out of my own religious delusions, and all my really religious friends are praising him. Only got involved with my religious friends because of my mania and am now distancing myself because I’m medicated and realizing how fucked their beliefs are now(holy rollers) Staying away from religion all together for now.",9.7994,9.90371637333334,8.714500000000001,65.97975000000002,58.6,12.3,45.41666666666667,11.698219412168324,5.729866666666666,348,20,53,9,4,108,55,75,0.053,0.823,0.124,0.7056,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,1,1,4,5,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,2,14,9,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,11,3,10,7,3,8,3,0,0,1,8,4,1,1,3,37,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505040536022843,0.0,0.0,0.32506566413566595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41198941879675977,0.24649158805733698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4264905929550695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685978051539765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575092062521903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20278120889867907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17080754509841178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276972833520311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205559143379908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841880102372448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17084327708483846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,_BeleagueredCastle_,2019/10/28,"Seroquel/quetiapine weight gain? I feel like since I started on seroquel my appetite is ridiculous. I am literally never full and can sit down and eat enough for 3 people and still feel hungry. Even when I try diet, I feel like I just cannot shift this weight I have gained -at least 4 stone/56lbs/24.5kg- and I just feel absolutely disgusting. I have tried talking to the psychologist prescribing my meds (I take antidepressants too) but the last time I went to renew my prescription, they basically googled the symptoms I was describing regarding my paranoia and delusions and they just fobbed me off saying oh it's all part of your condition. It's so upsetting and frustrating. Dies anyone else find that massive weight gain is a side effect from their meds?",6.772794117647063,8.742395397058825,6.112529411764708,75.46188235294119,65.61764705882354,9.55764705882353,32.71764705882353,9.888512548439397,3.3938464705882363,618,26,103,14,10,189,96,136,0.122,0.79,0.08800000000000001,-0.7642,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,3,4,8,6,3,1,4,0,8,6,0,1,2,19,15,10,1,0,4,0,7,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,7,5,0,6,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,2,8,21,2,9,13,5,14,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,8,68,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691593453628964,0.15667100527847655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15869303547291946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564617487215158,0.12773394477953734,0.0,0.0,0.15799351726909286,0.0,0.10099344708011844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3092569297511181,0.21847318397673568,0.0,0.0,0.13975397279602672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463938575043307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14940500046433666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33968979321269044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179310895856228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16558307812172396,0.0,0.10600626754485892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215975617141221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12648601965211467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082281640845611,0.0,0.12211150485657404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15892862998953347,0.11496682466711255,0.12290063028412775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916113862063572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207627252908564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5585975783661247,0.0,0.14174606221388394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,_k8lynn_,2019/10/28,"My boss won't give me hours after mental health leave. So about a month ago I was in a reeeeaally bad depressive episode. Not eating, not going to class, not taking care of myself, suicide ideation, etc. My therapist and I were considering hospitalization but it didn't come to that, mostly because I was too nervous about it. 

Anyway, I wasn't on medication at the time so I made an appointment and texted my boss (our main form of communication is through text, it's like that with everybody at work, not just me) that I was having some severe mental health problems so I'd need some time off while I tried to get out of my depression and got adjusted to medication. I was super anxious about talking to him about it because no one likes discussing that stuff, especially with someone who doesn't already know about your mental health, but he responded pretty postively. He said that he understood and that the plan (me having a month off and then coming back to work) sounded good. I was very happy about this because I love my job, it's one of my favorites I've ever had.

 Flash forward to two weeks ago, almost exactly a month after talking to my boss, and I'm feeling much better as far as depression goes and settled on meds. I text my boss and inform him that I'm ready to come back to work, like we discussed. He doesn't respond for two days. Two!!! Days!!! Major anxiety while I'm waiting to hear back from him. When he finally does text me back he informs me that they've hired a few more people and it would be hard to work me into the schedule, but he would try his best. It's a weekly schedule, and yet it's been two weeks and I've had no hours. I've run through my small savings I had prepared for my leave and have bills coming up. I'm so worried that his text was his cryptic way of telling me I'm fired and I don't know whether to get a new job or just to keep waiting around for him to tell me I'm back on the schedule. I don't want to possibly get hired elsewhere just to have to issue of staying with the new place or going back to the old place. I have rent due in a couple of days and I have no idea what to do.  Advice would be very much appreciated!!!

TL;DR: Went on an approved mental health leave and now my boss ""can't fit me in the schedule because of too many new hires.""",4.162607758620688,5.057165390086213,4.916724137931039,85.63818965517244,70.7456896551724,7.610344827586207,27.86206896551724,7.756953410329674,1.51543448275862,1807,62,375,21,32,584,210,464,0.11800000000000001,0.752,0.13,0.9529,3,0,0,0,0,1,52.0,2,1,0,9,27,17,0,1,17,0,32,8,0,6,2,69,65,31,1,6,13,0,3,3,0,4,6,3,1,0,21,26,1,3,8,0,2,9,15,6,0,6,18,6,47,11,62,41,12,71,0,3,0,1,32,21,0,6,44,247,68,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645062372687752,0.11703144594894645,0.0,0.0661015593007656,0.0,0.072845968034024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050499057924079285,0.07457485697935777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058764743556362416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30455527338723576,0.05511732664353563,0.16096139679941635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692756017813001,0.05838231734753516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730371157874818,0.0,0.0,0.2274542355651021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304110719982104,0.0,0.12771698511290405,0.0,0.17056831456869612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05776761308943538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675468343055953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362091492517342,0.0,0.0597117025569604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0333776893752743,0.0,0.0,0.07231300328205521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034657564430932,0.06332479897044538,0.07503236877336758,0.05536779793917628,0.052795887983426715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027108304151809,0.059133854549820536,0.0,0.0,0.2806710022926343,0.0744004079516954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13001719668234454,0.0,0.0,0.07451959947574151,0.0,0.0688994575054948,0.13101360041092608,0.05867456676317361,0.0,0.0,0.07255702188043693,0.0,0.0,0.20969177321749374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675049869940663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05957847642457428,0.062462222994150926,0.0,0.06692588467798961,0.0,0.0,0.073324535756912,0.13300044472490918,0.2660985880693054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15807062927580726,0.0,0.09705294351128944,0.04894711837074476,0.0,0.19126462481329384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926856997626757,0.0,0.08946298303457223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04576446222617561,0.0,0.13793714020745892,0.0,0.0,0.07441869788163738,0.0,0.06715801368286378,0.0,0.06316464219062742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627926014700817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457485697935777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05593181829484221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07036009048058492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755680344681332,0.07220649761836932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049632866306843125,0.10611601337309633,0.11539492911536728,0.0,0.0,0.07664510882522058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698434545335113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963573374411682,0.0,0.2579368276745339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10893375309528487,0.038935633098838456,0.05239731380421333,0.15885271820973526,0.0,0.0,0.061193856364684676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19223031189010287,0.06703846810047566,0.0,0.14067925573541326,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,happyhipppy16,2019/10/28,"nothing drives me more crazy than when family/friends who are aware you have BPD always have something to say for no reason i really don’t typically share with anyone about the disorder i’m sure like most don’t lol bc well we don’t owe anyone an explanation for going MIA and casually returning back to their life like there was no pause or the fact we fell off the face of the earth....ok maybe we do...sometimes haha

but for the people who do know never shut up about it with those “oh you’re just being/are manic!” or “you been taking your meds you seem like you’re in an episode” when i’m doing or saying everyday “normal” things lol. even when i am experiencing an extensive episode they will try to put me down and mock some way. it like there’s a permanent label on me to them and it’s just incredibly annoying and i’m sry for being annoying too with this rant lmao i just wanted to vent real quick to a community who can relate because i know i’m not the only one or the first/last to deal with people in our lives who do this constantly to us. 

if you experience this or experience any shit from anyone in general for anything i’m sorry  do because it really is so agitating ugh. 

thx for the lil therapy sesh lol. have a good weeeeek everyone and whatever you’re going through with BPD or not or another illness of some kind, you got this and you are amazing :)",2.89938484848485,4.837099512727273,4.669295454545459,81.99460984848486,75.69090909090909,8.21969696969697,24.185606060606066,8.959647251330699,1.870324242424242,1086,35,217,25,24,368,160,275,0.126,0.69,0.184,0.9540000000000001,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,5,7,3,0,16,17,4,0,14,4,19,4,2,1,3,42,33,19,0,3,14,0,0,4,0,1,2,2,0,0,14,14,0,0,4,1,1,5,8,5,1,1,3,3,22,12,33,28,4,23,0,0,0,0,23,8,1,12,13,141,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458189334239916,0.0,0.0,0.08547166676237758,0.13179408176562946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636504252767061,0.0,0.10342992988827822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664576730082773,0.0,0.15323561000744673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165974821016035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13582330856546432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957807641491698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14404852263721354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301526923409143,0.0,0.0,0.1200995911894057,0.0,0.2458925729787784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690954411820217,0.0,0.0,0.09710568797507177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14286196601062753,0.10542053511813823,0.1005236070497936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088397058231924,0.13814889444613376,0.10245191608358208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877664948636045,0.24561784347507626,0.0,0.1109841791985809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12626977567726047,0.0,0.1396102443025518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969377859263852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12314685762983225,0.12060034394131078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516896007973906,0.09559084724084592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742714818666683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12635044086429548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14305965173575586,0.16103699193591836,0.1292274666456886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999031544274141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11442098774457107,0.0,0.0,0.12901619634829326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676021587106057,0.12430794298801873,0.14069663026327306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845878276936095,0.0,0.0945011996189975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14373436913362153,0.0,0.08350105019283467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533341914186607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15118633362661285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413361970711076,0.0997647200284404,0.0,0.0,0.11300796756701678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,admitting84,2019/10/28,Miscarriage Bp1 and just had my first miscarriage currently not on meds. Need some chat buddies please! Very emotional day,5.688833333333331,9.454351550000002,4.1200000000000045,77.39833333333334,83.5,10.666666666666668,31.66666666666667,9.725611199111238,4.899666666666667,101,5,15,4,3,29,19,20,0.0,0.8009999999999999,0.19899999999999998,0.54,1,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,8,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616749258262751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4564136887361625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3451304033442186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4506963370253578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3008581879164742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4453912175936775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33478591437138105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,OrchidTillisandia,2019/10/28,"Focusing I would like to know how you guys study and learn while in depression and in mania. I have some comorbid ailments as well that probably make things a bit harder. I am currently unmedicated for my bipolar, but I do take valerian root and NAC supplements. What’s your guys’ take?",5.545754716981128,7.371587679245284,6.498254716981133,72.07304245283022,68.43396226415095,11.337735849056607,32.117924528301884,11.20814326018867,4.178701886792453,229,10,41,8,4,76,45,53,0.047,0.8859999999999999,0.066,-0.0129,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,3,0,11,8,7,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,2,5,7,2,4,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,28,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148989771482125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484307422984453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5711968224604134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15851767237925465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091596244247334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19253422930884845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3109843423501782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4337381130904888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916250169190102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593398962887631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048976799513714,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RavenousRabidRabbit,2019/10/28,"It feels worse. I used to take medication, had for three years. I’ve been off of Zoloft for maybe three years as well. 

It feels like I’m worse off than I used to be, as if Zoloft only made it worse. It’s probably because I’m getting older and experiencing more, but does anyone else feel worse after having had been on medication?",3.795909090909092,5.209873439393941,4.754969696969699,84.48245454545456,72.18181818181819,7.704242424242422,22.29090909090909,8.238735603445708,0.958858181818182,261,6,55,4,5,85,43,66,0.152,0.799,0.049,-0.7906,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,3,0,9,16,5,0,1,2,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,5,4,2,2,12,10,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,5,31,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489772603529635,0.16836725339617994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016913372513353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14379924318744247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13726990140749767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492583412133965,0.11739163178757825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585143518219332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08027940309415738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554853994133058,0.0,0.0,0.16508348215722765,0.0,0.0,0.3310741481637034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497424534286487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17716685138273966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354965404400292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28384280578444765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14774516464777274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6698324097397024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116358927545964
bipolarreddit,BatN1ppl3s,2019/10/11,"Where do I go from here? I stopped taking meds earlier this year because it was too expensive (even after insurance.) I was diagnosed with multiple illnesses (bipolar II, BPD, anxiety and ADHD). Life really started kicking my ass at 12. I was cutting throughout my teen years and stopped around 20. I still struggle with the urge to. I get so reckless during the highs so when I come back down a tsunami of guilt and shame take over and lately it's so bad that I just cant bear the weight. I'd never commit suicide and I dont want to die and miss out on my family, but it feels like I'm being swallowed whole by my mistakes. I wish I could go back before my fuck ups, before leaping before thinking. I've hurt people I love. How do I live with that? How do I live with me? Why am I so sure that I won't be the same fuck up the next time a manic episode rolls around? I'm scared of my mind and my thoughts. My inability to be in control. I wish there was a way to start over, knowing what I know now but choose a different path. I hate being so destructive, but only being aware I am once the damage is done.",2.0564473684210505,3.807994732456141,3.6577543859649104,89.14294736842106,77.55263157894737,6.665263157894738,24.55789473684211,7.554174236665415,1.1314747368421063,861,30,183,12,20,286,144,228,0.254,0.65,0.096,-0.9877,2,0,0,0,0,3,27.0,0,0,0,1,20,17,5,4,10,0,20,10,1,3,3,40,43,18,2,5,4,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,8,15,2,3,6,0,1,3,4,14,0,0,6,2,29,3,24,30,2,33,0,3,0,4,1,13,3,0,17,122,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13992554005537994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906818945233858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20729374080859586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790540781278522,0.09721370444124706,0.07097429523436424,0.0,0.2972185890829829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466387817038323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029363802938074,0.0,0.0,0.1305854974129353,0.09295941983565448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11817341291283626,0.12083535861288194,0.12164396566548165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914772254414625,0.13645441592815713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690053542116368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975929748262632,0.0,0.05887021427662489,0.08317720262409363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21527424977456106,0.06082956775522174,0.0,0.13233904773057964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494995015923674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230140771812642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464010472654632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279731313138562,0.0,0.1313374597724614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223754426606737,0.05688153470587145,0.0,0.20561862612485107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10508209942141053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12932684114860118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756052632350968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979754819875764,0.0,0.12382401158217572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399353500749105,0.0,0.08854982224360393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08071750165861571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458766933324683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656616309632516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648186888630467,0.0,0.09298068712423596,0.1946804209765884,0.0,0.12171731182714475,0.0,0.12735489084235244,0.0,0.10973335272352774,0.0,0.1750808716442444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746032726579517,0.0,0.09243195609050964,0.06789093250028556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0686730899120494,0.0924162561551864,0.0,0.14177967021049373,0.0,0.0,0.1050594442750738,0.1299892921718361,0.26777617957861544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14995346147017855
bipolarreddit,Nat_T33,2019/10/11,"Scared ***Sorry if this is long, just really need to get this out before i literally go crazy***

​

I'm 18, and have some strange almost co-morbid form of bulimia and bipolar disorder, and honestly its starting to get to the point where i keep rapidly cycling so bad that it can be in the time frame of minutes multiple times throughout the day that i get overconfident, overexercise, binge and feel extremely productive, back to wanting to hurt myself and not take care of myself, or purge, etc. 

Its getting so physically and mentally exhausting, not having much of an in between mood, and its started to really affect the people who for whatever reason care about me. Im writing this after an extreme depressed episode and im completely the opposite shortly after, and its frankly getting terrifying.

I always knew something was off with my moods beyond the point of 'hormones' for a while, but I recently kind of got it narrowed down by a psychologist to likely bipolar. Even though this was my first session with a proper psychologist rather than a school counsellor, I feel like at the point I'm at I really need to talk to someone, but i probably won't be able to do that, ironically because of my mother who was diagnosed with bipolar too not allowing it and being against any medication - is there anything i can do in that period where i won't be able to talk to anybody 

​

i am seriously in disbelief that i havent slept properly in the past week and its 3 am, and thanks to this mess of a brain i have my mind is racing",8.330841983852366,7.790222937716262,8.582823529411764,67.8440392156863,61.837370242214526,12.135732410611306,39.681891580161476,11.4731,4.7493624452133805,1235,59,211,32,15,408,167,289,0.09,0.878,0.032,-0.8813,1,0,1,0,0,2,36.0,0,0,0,1,13,16,0,1,15,0,22,8,2,3,0,39,45,20,0,5,9,1,2,2,0,2,6,0,0,0,20,16,0,1,4,0,0,1,6,7,0,1,6,2,20,7,44,33,4,34,0,2,0,0,6,18,0,4,17,157,40,2,0.20750114381659493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389121102709813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632878711273152,0.22482740263221845,0.25213660186915404,0.07055394665634912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537788055888991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797777856568718,0.08662739387914463,0.06324538565730536,0.0,0.0882840951032648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581995062388382,0.0,0.0,0.2115612453473148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878050070861553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06691053581018819,0.0,0.08936021555741434,0.10530464655454023,0.0,0.0,0.1189071439349237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157093129028598,0.06852627425048265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491881302544068,0.07411942930163219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882501834641936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27102695837573165,0.0,0.05896384094835332,0.0,0.08297881015018188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106713304819983,0.0,0.22413684269697506,0.0,0.0,0.09221827536292057,0.0,0.10804025507433836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137457758116376,0.0,0.0,0.09181599129874454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451778608385567,0.10455617408862272,0.0,0.10475850166394074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762686080464037,0.15385946890255875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904166050838227,0.07192758314592744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2942334768053898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11186066430541987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19939581914904603,0.10667286755508017,0.10244117319718724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387242191381342,0.10500111774987683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790752289456896,0.07987225904934174,0.0,0.11614027106690895,0.1468703775959119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800751815705298,0.1667815593961492,0.0,0.09551958728421683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193441012947647,0.0,0.12099558563945235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611947753961417,0.0,0.08322245064681158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25213660186915404,0.0
bipolarreddit,CaffeinatedCondom,2019/10/11,"Tactile Hallucination help tips please       So recently I recognized I was in a hypomanic state due to a very scary tactile hallucination that I had a infestation of some kind of bug. I concluded fleas, then scabies, human lice, fungus nats, ringworm- basically spent a whole day researching online while trying to match/identify the dust & dirt particles I was convinced were bug eggs in my room while tearing it apart for some real evidence. Ink stains on my bed from a pen I left had me verified something was there because I believed they were the track marks or feces of the bug. I spent hours digging large holes all over my skin because I believed the skin I was pulling off were bugs. I even warned my roommates not to touch one my roommates dog because I thought she brought something in & saw the eggs in her bed too.. my roommates had to talk me out of it(I think they knew something wasn’t right because of my level of paranoia & they did a great job in helping me calm down). They told me she had literally just gotten a bath, and when I started realizing maybe I wasn’t right, the paranoia was still too strong for me to sleep that night without washing all my sheets/room, my roommate brought me flea/tick/mite spray she had to make me feel more comfortable. When I hallucinate I feel the physical itching & crawling as well even though I see nothing there. I went to my Psychiatrist(she is an amazing doctor & has helped me so much)  the next day to figure it out. I have not been diagnosed as bipolar in the past, we’re hoping it was simply a chemical imbalance from my antidepressant, but there is a also a multitude of things that could have caused the hypomania. Anyways, while I am figuring out what caused this hypomania & taking the right steps, does anyone have advice on how to deal with the tactile hallucinations?? It’s slowly getting a little better but I cannot look at my skin or the scabs I’ve made without picking because I’m zoned in on the delusion that some bug is under the skin. I woke up and noticed another huge gash on my back I must have scratched in my sleep- even though I’ve been taking my xanax to help me knock out at night(bc of the hypomania energy & hallucinating). It’s hard to not stand out in 90 degree weather with long sleeves and pants. I have to clean the wounds daily, put cream, & bandages, but every time I do it I find myself after 20 minutes realizing I’ve been zoned in picking at something that isn’t there.",9.086067653276958,7.498528082452433,8.511701902748419,72.33173890063426,60.987315010570825,11.475264270613108,39.04756871035941,10.230975488527342,3.8287006342494703,1985,83,370,34,22,630,248,473,0.023,0.893,0.085,0.9772,1,0,4,0,0,0,59.0,0,0,4,3,22,10,0,0,29,0,35,16,7,8,3,48,59,22,0,3,11,0,9,0,0,1,8,0,5,1,14,10,2,0,11,1,2,6,9,0,1,1,32,13,59,10,58,25,8,64,0,0,4,0,16,36,0,6,20,241,73,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07225967873437722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05913500141216276,0.0,0.6409681457612837,0.0,0.0,0.07753936860149016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0517051227025116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056860305668649885,0.0,0.22538554630190266,0.0,0.0,0.16662480040251873,0.0,0.06539968340927306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15192688103278226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05904027522748132,0.0,0.0,0.0953787695984448,0.07623561009117003,0.0,0.07505415626818092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756873915906107,0.06471109368388156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14652292745908838,0.0,0.062303128261779216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477915976105581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06758577515056344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03863400211174231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08152629395578638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06624155295698518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19825916139305602,0.0,0.0,0.07344557452261295,0.07282242198583706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338050610580392,0.0,0.0,0.07700391628401416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034310502458186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07411383458030119,0.0,0.0654403389055086,0.062096448781249335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699699805429075,0.04935987303571469,0.0,0.07428921350867469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0543591969961806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786429577175407,0.1387875903007269,0.0,0.07095367559038987,0.08418859755958508,0.0,0.0,0.05010807238501305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705903158889217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117106786196443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433667184357884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416732314024486,0.0,0.0,0.07301326269069539,0.0,0.0,0.18944975958459304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05892579864993856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14799983678478518,0.0,0.0,0.2277105601062751,0.0,0.0,0.052339723990911774,0.0,0.05905378248229653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119715320102336,0.05943540779601893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04912677885663797,0.04738194104893631,0.1453041512845325,0.05870527308632205,0.04311880761899762,0.0,0.0,0.07065906408972153,0.0,0.05020482977857188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06101361926597392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664867976975378,0.06854916033941688,0.0,0.08255864333080855,0.0,0.14256360354453942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,the_chicago_bitch,2019/10/11,"Bipolar BF (29M) snaps at the smallest things and gets in my face during arguments Title sums it up. I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months now and he has bipolar depression and ADHD. 

Anyway. I feel like he is in some kind of manic episode. I try so hard to be supportive. I bought a book to better understand the disorder and have taken it seriously. But he will just absolutely SNAP over the smallest things. He can never take ownership for this behavior either and usually thinks it’s justified. I’ve been in my fair share of relationships and am always vocal about the fact that he does not react “normally” and I’m sure that’s a horrible thing to say to someone with his illnesses. I’m trying my best I really am. I just feel abused for no good reason a lot. 

This morning for example we were talking about a vape pen not being charged. He had been using it all morning and didn’t charge it so it was dead when we got in the car and I was irritated and let out a little sigh. Well he FLIPS and goes, “WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE YOU SUCH A BITCH.” Seriously yelling. Then all I want is him to apologize to me but he never does because he thinks it’s totally fine to berate me like that over a minor issue.

This fight carried on and we reached our destination and I get our and he’s still fighting with me and trying to puff up his chest and stepping in my face. Now I am talk and not easily intimidated but this behavior feels abusive and I tell him so and he just cruelly laughs.

So where do I go from here? I love the guy but I’m not dealing with unwarranted anger. I get it’s almost a function of his illness but I need to train him to recognize the behavior and apologize to me. Is this even possible?",2.0057033248081844,4.206245492753626,3.9296717817561806,84.96182225063941,79.57971014492753,7.653026427962493,24.63981244671782,8.583994105835817,1.8334722932651328,1345,50,275,31,34,455,188,345,0.158,0.723,0.11900000000000001,-0.9568,0,0,0,0,5,0,25.0,5,1,0,2,19,22,5,0,16,0,24,9,3,3,7,63,47,31,1,3,13,0,4,2,1,1,4,2,0,1,20,28,0,0,7,1,1,3,8,8,2,0,11,6,36,13,37,32,7,26,0,1,0,2,37,14,2,3,11,190,56,2,0.0,0.29350067614244235,0.0,0.0,0.14885209191824403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402493353850452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305897850515504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550210143106735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998032115508867,0.10954148594143774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12769116875961428,0.10667788628052458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195089727018104,0.0,0.21677625913470047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08180640619677294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18787752135777366,0.08848349347519957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11450383683490355,0.1941305727445541,0.0,0.0703908096026238,0.10388540803303188,0.09905978871779787,0.0,0.0,0.12263794147712108,0.0,0.0,0.11095157902473478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12927456974315335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897804657973266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665221404280536,0.0,0.12102058607939775,0.12413729158194935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529882546646732,0.11178581348227894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09886150693823102,0.0,0.0,0.09183842509994496,0.19105236818416685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135360097085734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13963020171424645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934599078313988,0.12734566454740512,0.0,0.13297610778199384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09849608874357252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049436672914488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891239141160717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14055150018939172,0.11673379355645105,0.0,0.09312507919855384,0.19910319280194191,0.10825651138647276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24685533973286,0.15872517904434244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522723980618809,0.0,0.0,0.12893954574795946,0.0,0.10697271462695558,0.13641103016926254,0.0,0.07305409068174745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136235277621212,0.0,0.1117617130505522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Tiniest_Toast,2019/10/11,"Mania experience? So forgive me if this isn't the right place to ask, but I'm writing a story and I want one of the characters to be manic most of the time, but I'm not sure how to go about it, I thought I'd ask from first hand experiences so I don't get anything wrong. Is there anything I should remember or note down for when I'm writing?",1.7945045045045056,3.0948228648648666,3.890270270270271,89.1382882882883,77.1081081081081,7.095495495495496,25.84684684684685,7.793537801064563,1.2460522522522512,268,10,62,4,6,92,53,74,0.034,0.81,0.156,0.8269,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,4,0,5,1,1,1,1,16,14,9,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,2,1,1,5,2,9,11,1,7,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,3,3,39,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38455727200869394,0.0,0.4368728577061644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4571199901907418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19874731947608276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207539830166568,0.0,0.132791852373362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158331070046455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24412035310464755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26468622702441336,0.1995405911486348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22021762170999315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854964332634506,0.13624644941410774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13781611661871274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25546570006454783,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bagels1996,2019/10/11,Weed and BPD I was diagnosed with bipolar and borderline personality a couple years back. I was wondering what everyone’s opinion is on marijuana to help with symptoms?,4.770517241379308,8.30092596551724,6.768534482758625,59.44866379310349,82.44827586206897,11.175862068965518,38.28448275862068,10.125756701596842,6.223406896551722,139,9,19,6,4,48,25,29,0.0,0.899,0.10099999999999999,0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,6,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,4,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,14,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531292061106961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4146072380571697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3642459499710342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3341241093951345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145581541855383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206512238082568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28743875378756384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34215772006061745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3569959197673241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21198959025325198
bipolarreddit,TwinkieInTheTrash,2019/10/11,"Can someone describe what psychosis is like, or help me determine if that’s what’s happening to me? I was diagnosed as bipolar II in 2012. 

I am going to see my psychiatrist next week so don’t worry about that. I would just like some advice or something. I don’t really know what I want. But here’s what’s been happening:

For the past few months I feel my mental state has gotten much much much worse. It almost feels like something is in my brain devouring all of my good thoughts and making me a hateful, selfish person. I am also very agitated a lot for no reason. Tonight is the second night this week i haven’t been able to sleep so tomorrow oughta be fun.

Finally I think I’m having visual and auditory hallucinations. I’m not sure because they definitely aren’t how they are portrayed in movies and I’ve never had them before. But they are downright SCARY. I hear faint music or I’ll see a detailed horrifying face staring at me only for it to go away when I close my eyes. Just a few examples, there’s a lot more instances, but it really only happens at night.

Think this is psychosis? What was your experience with it?",2.646400491400492,5.024899545045051,4.238247338247337,82.64948402948404,78.32432432432431,7.0994266994267,24.95577395577396,8.150884317080207,1.7178756756756766,897,33,170,17,22,299,137,222,0.09,0.841,0.069,-0.6748,1,0,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,4,0,10,8,1,0,7,0,23,7,4,3,3,34,43,16,0,4,10,0,2,3,0,2,3,1,0,1,13,5,0,0,7,0,0,2,7,2,0,1,7,7,25,6,17,33,10,22,0,0,4,0,8,7,0,8,15,118,38,0,0.12551594155807835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12265272542363705,0.0,0.0,0.12568608473022164,0.0,0.0,0.1003750531163346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792635882595225,0.0,0.0,0.07651335297695452,0.0,0.10680482158000526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011730139296036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127396038591636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12277867546468163,0.0,0.0,0.1269292627676684,0.08966861372836216,0.0,0.1374965788061209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14266720420692844,0.10527681671540393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3329799977911381,0.0,0.0,0.1239210066429594,0.0,0.0,0.14146558835672646,0.0,0.08413068986388365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06898027895486816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839622469705338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21341833004026484,0.0,0.0,0.08378286563727658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649054742602614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018562705972588,0.0,0.27680597728356604,0.0,0.09680563194194253,0.0,0.13348762779432735,0.23557641693838344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19092105903972448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981916864200873,0.0,0.10959567879295776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16081745236294775,0.12905129257225112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200039909636106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560658766997354,0.0,0.10634924996753414,0.1932566079309892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11829728949833565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16085109447765467,0.0,0.09964563733039056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10356379687821106,0.07403255433686502,0.0,0.20136263462601425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12746753134102026,0.1279114675745629,0.08916292365456542,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,goodbanter420,2019/10/11,"Erotomania experience? Does anyone have any experience with treatment of erotomania? 
My brother is 22 and has suffered from major depression and ocd since the age of 8. Since that early age, he has had 4 eromanic interests and this is getting worse as he gets older. He has sent unwanted messages and has stalked the last interest now for years. He has tried several antipsychotics (still on dozens of meds), TMS, ECT, ketamine, lithium, DBT, and CBT but nothing seems to get through to him when he is in these rapid cycling manic episodes (every week) and has left him unable to go to school, have a job, or lead any kind of productive life. 
His most recent diagnosis has been bipolar disorder. 
I am so worried my family has exhausted their options but we are hopeful and will try anything. Even just hearing about someone’s experience could help us out.",6.519447415329765,8.281537843137254,6.570493166963757,72.7290374331551,65.99346405228758,10.008080808080807,36.78490790255496,10.230975488527342,4.1738679738562094,682,35,112,17,11,217,117,153,0.109,0.8220000000000001,0.069,-0.705,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,2,0,1,1,7,7,0,0,3,0,19,3,0,1,0,21,27,13,0,3,4,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,3,10,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,3,0,1,3,1,9,4,17,22,2,18,0,2,0,0,16,4,0,5,11,69,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20552912369030796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566433478349364,0.0,0.12435619696283365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065441645384893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13015662246188206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731928705030347,0.0,0.13224327319674922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981117828222856,0.0,0.12732236688787127,0.0,0.0,0.44346349170994215,0.14245940875667312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368567708454375,0.0,0.08588312301335442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703195432269818,0.0,0.10129036209749176,0.0,0.0,0.15009301533572092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996004183874076,0.0,0.0,0.157364825081035,0.0,0.12318030834470794,0.0,0.0,0.16418877478943553,0.0,0.10673821901601664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16785662580715946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450005829178348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14920954499949474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529382036043265,0.0,0.13757100003853365,0.0,0.1707188969338477,0.0,0.25001064965514946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280407192124138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068201981344273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051966870668946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18177482574790446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12121672963322346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15346637982042702,0.1540008632760659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973142228130588
bipolarreddit,MDRIguy,2019/10/11,"Obsessions filling the void for passion I've been struggling a lot lately. Work is making me feel miserable because I don't feel any passion for what I do and usually I fill the emptiness with an obsession of the moment (and becoming hypomanic) i.e. shows that I have I binged much too fast to the point of losing sleep, and thinking that because I was really into Grey's Anatomy that I could be a nurse. When the obsession ends or fizzles out it's followed by a depressive episode, but then I usually find something new. Since my last obsession ended about a week and a half ago I just haven't found something else and it has left in an even worse depression than usual. I just feel really crappy also realizing during this that this is what has been happening isn't great. I used to have a passion for acting and musical theatre, but ever since my first really bad hypomanic episode that ended with me being in the hospital and leaving Musical Theatre conservatory in NYC I feel like that passion was ripped away from me. My therapist and I were talking about it, and she wants me to start taking some classes at the local community college to get my foot back in the door to go back to school. I don't know where I'm going with this and I don't know if anyone will read this but I guess I just want to talk to people",6.484651162790698,6.590952426356592,7.125751937984493,74.6095581395349,65.43410852713178,10.44589147286822,33.86666666666667,10.203070172399654,3.4159950387596902,1058,43,195,23,15,350,145,258,0.158,0.779,0.063,-0.9749,1,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,13,16,0,6,16,0,21,6,2,2,1,42,42,18,0,4,8,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,15,15,0,0,10,2,0,6,5,10,0,2,6,5,26,6,29,32,3,38,0,4,1,4,3,12,0,5,21,139,41,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015664724710584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09035610422253176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683540962114413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900352319575714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615552408537073,0.17376090580644976,0.09433988612339796,0.13775232553029654,0.12478587380155833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021136610109297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19463202532468948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438660114644076,0.0,0.3002203028039228,0.0,0.0,0.07462721224501305,0.10220370911473692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285196040142006,0.08071832946518594,0.0,0.0,0.10326857525379,0.0961071537023966,0.0,0.12388501848394992,0.0,0.0,0.05903133234091911,0.0,0.12842685878848764,0.0,0.0,0.12456917456047766,0.12446852645694922,0.0,0.09991451876514884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12419000699947995,0.09209993483148192,0.12745487963745605,0.11963750306862835,0.12276130545030844,0.0,0.0,0.055200010507975086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640416918497133,0.0,0.09605797592837696,0.0,0.0,0.07542006808016505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08305885096723452,0.0,0.0,0.10912408144065183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07833134184533816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068097571007678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11301812767273943,0.0,0.21714815637009904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143494343737574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18692894058991824,0.0,0.11306914989515225,0.0,0.0,0.17396667464441665,0.0,0.0,0.07997317059214065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11811912119817222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495257735644515,0.18163022822626332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311872559649044,0.0,0.07239786085137367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758496736415663,0.3733194761000518,0.0,0.13328597072360476,0.0,0.09063179861884857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225628326670903,0.0,0.11514396791430805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,StuckInTwixtor,2019/10/11,"My girlfriend cheated on me during a manic episode... what should i do? My girlfriend and i have been together for a little over a year. Throughout this time she’s struggled with strong feelings of depression and anxiety (she was diagnosed a little before we got together). She’s always taken her medication and made adjustments when needed and i’ve always tried my best to be there for her when she needs me most, even though it’s really hard sometimes. 

a few weeks ago i was on her phone when i swiped over and saw she had tinder downloaded. When i questioned her about it she told me that her and her friends got the app just to see if they knew anyone on there and she had no intentions of finding anyone else. I explained to her that it hurt me to see that and she apologized and said she was going to delete the app. 

Sunday, i ended up bumping into her with another guy and was extremely confused. she lied to me saying that it was some guy from her class and he just needed someone to talk to. eventually she opened up more saying that she was feeling distant from me and she felt like needed someone else to talk to and she knew it would be easy to get a guy from tinder and hold his attention. 

I later found out from the guy that she had been texting and facetiming him for the last 2 weeks. He told me that she lied about having a boyfriend and would talk dirty to him over text and send him pictures. 

I confronted her about all of this and she said that she’s been feeling extremely distant from me and like i haven’t been treating her the same way as when we met. She said i’ve been really negative towards her lately and been putting her down. She said she wanted someone to talk to that knew nothing about her with no judgment. 

I broke up with her because in my book, that’s cheating. But after a week or so of not talking she informed me that she went to see her therapist and explained the whole situation to her. She diagnosed her with Bipolar disorder and said that what she went through was a hypomanic episode. She is going to see her psychiatrist on Friday to get a medication change. 

I ended up meeting up with her to talk about everything and when i did she really broke down. She spoke to me so honestly about the situation and was extremely genuine. She explained how she doesn’t understand why she did the things she did and at the time she didn’t even question if what she was doing was right. She explained that she hasn’t felt like herself recently and she’s been driving recklessly and making really impulsive decisions that she’s never done before. She apologized to me profusely, and really wants to work things out. She said that she’s learned from this and can prevent it from happening in the future. 

My question now is, does Bipolar make someone like this? she didn’t physically cheat but she sent pictures and dirty texts to this guy. She talked to him for over 2 weeks but she’s saying she felt no attraction to him and just used him to “feel good” about herself and to have a stranger to talk to. Does this sound like a manic episode?",5.223577917826159,6.363954427852353,5.36383205107219,82.49781551808809,68.4798657718121,8.767654280569651,29.972826976591914,9.047159751262416,2.396456670486168,2453,92,472,44,41,772,223,596,0.07400000000000001,0.865,0.061,-0.6137,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,2,0,1,3,25,22,4,2,22,0,42,6,0,6,2,102,94,49,0,11,10,0,8,5,3,3,6,11,0,5,32,44,0,2,25,1,0,8,11,10,0,0,51,24,107,12,82,38,8,60,0,4,5,0,123,26,0,9,30,355,139,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05353275144094671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049987484693483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06332496142352112,0.04619875442760935,0.0,0.0,0.08445322575072013,0.06187745463181835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03681363746547951,0.0,0.1027761515665324,0.0,0.06337636078935806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388540040550482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052014459951162766,0.12259066938716713,0.0,0.0,0.06921302547817172,0.0,0.1056966953720309,0.061800699085406426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089743611449006,0.0,0.10697654982983047,0.0,0.0,0.07977503468115542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05427530735255205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221415003129437,0.0,0.17395375644490785,0.0,0.05519604661967742,0.0,0.0,0.06621533451889802,0.04665773957863375,0.0,0.06310334317876555,0.0,0.06864290387939613,0.050652891466512175,0.09659999073253492,0.0,0.0,0.29898165954846617,0.053403336128057886,0.0,0.05409824533384972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06464954127280778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04922651720656096,0.06812339049982401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14751933712250265,0.12105478289016153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05714318285793973,0.08062258210847653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167464378932645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17911588805864967,0.04657706531304027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057946548323223275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060709378497016964,0.2029543655323277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934392873618655,0.0,0.05962857483475618,0.0,0.0,0.051573366036579374,0.34467256552171843,0.14407543236729947,0.0,0.0,0.19249441895949726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357634547164001,0.0,0.0,0.20467552816354406,0.0,0.0597279907329377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06313351863630333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3883183444753316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070118309256723,0.08024185473954623,0.0,0.059333600084239435,0.0,0.07042865781212405,0.0,0.0,0.11541188917078005,0.0,0.04100135152430698,0.0,0.0,0.06286889506595666,0.0,0.05215821361701229,0.0,0.0,0.07124005183308701,0.04793536221500455,0.19376725086008528,0.0,0.0,0.11196565080167327,0.054493253946320194,0.06742410982182306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04396518141934988,0.0,0.0,0.0857997047331084,0.0,0.0,0.03888965962274238
bipolarreddit,astralglitter,2019/10/11,Coping with bipolar 2 without medication. Any tips for someone who doesn’t want to take medication?,5.538823529411764,9.079973764705883,6.466176470588237,63.8427941176471,76.05882352941177,8.105882352941178,37.911764705882355,8.841846274778883,4.521494117647058,82,5,11,2,2,27,16,17,0.0,0.915,0.085,0.0772,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25553330483551384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7570880597845477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31838473834165504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825287579414849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22163612294870655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3622243616640566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cynth313,2019/02/24,"Do you know how to explain mania? I figured out over 10 years ago that I'm bipolar (runs in the fam) but wasn't officially diagnosed until 2015.

I have so many different types of mania that it's extremely hard for my husband to know when I'm manic vs just 'me'. We're coming up on 12 years together but he still doesn't know how often I am manic and which version of myself I am most of the time. My most obvious mania episodes involve an excessive amount of energy, hyperactivity, very fast talking, increased sex drive, etc. However, I have a vast amount of different 'types' of manic episodes.

I tried to explain to my husband that 75% of the time I'm in an episode but they don't look the same. He thinks I'm trying to use my bipolar disorder as an excuse. I was only trying to explain some of my symptoms. 

Does anyone know how to tell loved ones about all the different forms of mania in a simple to understand way?",4.268297604035311,5.391859032786889,5.697814207650271,79.28462799495587,70.69398907103826,8.690878520386716,29.923917612442203,9.057496981413335,2.530574106767549,725,29,139,14,13,245,107,183,0.031,0.8959999999999999,0.07200000000000001,0.8056,4,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,1,0,9,1,0,0,10,0,9,6,0,4,2,29,26,11,0,0,5,2,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,10,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,2,2,16,1,28,24,11,22,0,0,1,2,14,8,0,4,9,88,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14147126636477414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159247819275957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374768912940886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16198548342727564,0.0,0.5002281671986883,0.18290960392976893,0.0,0.13966258918475394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17799052179430658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429656998657083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3508367750513789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340195370261209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440406454782291,0.0,0.0,0.1618041985417896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814564752273892,0.12137912758861732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745270854053173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16588022873515113,0.0,0.1282763506145366,0.13949299371338167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10226197999095364,0.0,0.0,0.1861221614966617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32506342192459464,0.0,0.0,0.16614393918732787,0.0,0.1378387684754625,0.0,0.1316825223793308,0.0,0.12667901823973407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20554779073493076
bipolarreddit,UncreativeAfffff,2019/02/24,"I tried Omega 3 supplements and it's made a huge difference. So basically,  I did some research online on foods, medicines etc. and their relationship to bipolar disorder. I then came across a study that said that Omega 3 fatty acids help with depression in bipolar disorder and I also came across a piece that said that when post mortem are done in people with bipolar disorder they generally find levels of omega 3 in their brains less than in people without the disorder.

So I decided to give omega 3 a shot. I've been taking 1500mg daily for the past 2 months. When I started I was super depressed. It took like a week for me to begin to feel the difference. At the moment I feel quite stable and happy.

Anyone else can relate?",5.274892086330934,6.732148035971228,5.790712230215827,78.3034784172662,68.64028776978418,9.013237410071943,28.288489208633088,9.3871,2.5156267625899282,583,20,105,12,10,188,89,139,0.126,0.748,0.126,0.0146,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,3,2,5,5,0,0,9,0,6,5,1,1,0,16,18,10,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,6,8,1,0,4,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,10,5,12,3,19,8,4,23,0,2,0,0,8,10,0,1,10,66,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019089875100598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910487152897241,0.13057127413421454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14225857794614455,0.0,0.2915012767430755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195175722607716,0.0,0.0,0.26628298068871376,0.5842019829123127,0.0,0.0,0.13040930771928191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645482162068486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421226845635684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12886899934249094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11647244019951697,0.0,0.15409379503078666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12224638118495633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356559474872143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541637744006328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06225785440636144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12058120745659927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10171666663910947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165024855779735,0.17669349085929678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220466223369068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355418299513394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368165107444536,0.0,0.0,0.2424379838454517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019849752422164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581456858126124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158395147491346,0.08651937513603992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221993204482688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12284190535270195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BipolarMeHeHe,2019/03/25,"Anyone train in a martial art? I was recently thinking of getting into wrestling or Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, maybe kickboxing. Really anything to compete and get out some of my aggression.

Have any of you found success on a similar path?  ",5.292073170731708,8.273900097560977,5.963597560975611,70.56295731707318,72.41463414634147,8.978048780487804,39.51829268292683,9.516144504307137,4.9209951219512185,188,12,26,5,4,61,38,41,0.052000000000000005,0.852,0.096,0.4329,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,2,0,2,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,3,1,8,4,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,1,18,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621771530345149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695751723494416,0.0,0.3172626155993539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4227194415947021,0.0,0.0,0.4028524538175294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38732192263674187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24698371798679766,0.0,0.3806694935603193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470353856040193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,shameraider,2019/03/25,"Weight Loss & Bipolar My care provider and I have been talking about weight management for a while.  Yes, I put on weight thanks to meds.  Slowly but surely I've gone back down to 235 lbs at 68 inches tall.  It still isn't healthy for a guy to be at that BMI so we've been talking about realistic strategies for the rest of 2019.  This would help contain any comorbidities.

If you gained weight due to meds, did you feel particularly different when you shed the excess?  Did life just roll on?  I'm in a place now where I don't think I've been voluntarily photographed for a while just out of fear of how I look to myself and others.",3.5604761904761917,5.183741238095241,3.9335238095238085,89.30314285714289,73.12698412698413,6.944761904761903,23.711111111111112,7.554174236665415,0.7914025396825402,500,14,108,6,10,156,88,126,0.069,0.799,0.132,0.8033,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,0,2,11,5,0,1,6,1,10,6,0,1,1,13,17,9,0,2,4,0,5,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,3,4,1,2,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,6,6,9,3,21,9,1,20,0,1,1,0,7,11,0,1,7,66,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16124864414762308,0.0,0.10120410683399232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144349809646096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15173401270058753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548738169983833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16746619697672724,0.0752489071521475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14735724111404794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09975229245286492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051174249820092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497305195054627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33061552710317577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548738169983833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149607279232102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884949253756374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402630340665374,0.0,0.0,0.23923507549876785,0.0,0.13701536164002542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535916942829242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7249007241319111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571892433941467,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dina_047,2019/03/25,"bi-polar /ADHD - looking for advice I'm 37 years old and i have bi-polar and  ADHD. I am a mother of three and have spent the majority of my life raising my kids and taking care of my disabled mother who has Parkinson's disease. I need a job desperately and I know if I find the right one , I will absolutely flourish in it. I have a mindset for success , however I just need someone to give me a chance. I spend time dwelling about different things I could be good in , but I don't know what field to get into with no experience. I also have a major fear of going on the interview once that time finally comes. Anyone have any suggestions?",3.368437499999999,4.855857718750002,5.25825,80.16175000000003,73.375,7.932500000000001,27.64375,8.548686976883017,2.072894375,500,19,97,9,10,172,88,128,0.077,0.846,0.077,-0.4497,3,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,2,8,0,11,1,0,0,0,17,24,8,0,4,3,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,5,8,0,0,3,0,2,2,2,2,0,2,1,1,16,3,14,20,2,12,0,0,1,0,7,5,0,1,5,66,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4328817667809553,0.17598812473565198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440230317522232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247173264915523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592759534803696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18362028991305912,0.0,0.0,0.15513710795707836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14379232655262314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18816241393342029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761688440099874,0.0,0.20265852785546912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197286811019315,0.1646048534380548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940929395447768,0.17276488432639334,0.10235293852189044,0.15105632172371086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787178947914374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19795255091282146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12720741847247038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15123562358929332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670784078565713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889808838554672,0.19179679593237794,0.1220379864346315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15380134769891088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15259510136594598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354100849225134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964805043022735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21003132664343246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597618152919008
bipolarreddit,Pickles_Aplenty,2019/03/25,"Should I own a gun? I’m a security guard. I’m a security guard for a college where we are not required to carry a firearm.  I have a degree in criminal justice and know how to properly use it and when.  I own a handgun, thats the culture we have in my area and my profession.  I’m also newly diagnosed.

Prior, I have had bouts off depression where i disassembled the weapon and gave it to a friend for safe keeping so I wouldn’t be tempted.  

What do you folks think?",1.6639583333333334,3.5973266458333337,4.18041666666667,84.08958333333338,79.41666666666666,7.6,27.333333333333336,8.515128840125781,2.0938833333333333,362,16,76,8,9,127,62,96,0.124,0.721,0.155,0.4515,0,0,0,3,0,0,10.0,2,1,0,1,6,6,1,0,10,0,9,1,0,2,0,18,17,8,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,4,6,0,7,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,11,4,8,12,2,8,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,0,2,55,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3487838762797457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3756498402904512,0.4426765693580883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3369634604970154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3876644678602466,0.0,0.0,0.2396931143125024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27946320571673083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37668803316351457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,calesia_apartment,2019/03/25,"Should I have waited out this depressive episode to decide whether to end it with my boyfriend? I’ve got bipolar 1, psychoaffective with rapid cycling. Emphasis on the rapid cycling. My relationship with a person I really love was going amazing but in the past few months I’ve gotten increasingly DEPRESSED.

I decided that I didn’t want to be a burden on my boyfriend anymore so I broke up with him over the phone last night. It was super out of the blue and I instantly regretted it. I can’t tell if I made the right decision though. If you love something let it free? I’m the worst right now. We’re in our mid 20s. I don’t want this incredible person to waste any more time with this worthless version of myself.

I love being with him and I want to be with him. But I don’t know if I can handle friendship or love right now.

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bipolarreddit,Grumbert,2019/03/25,"(Trigger warning) Am I in a mixed episode? I feel like I want to jump out of my own skin, like I want to rip off my limbs. Like everything inside me is wrong - all my bones ache as if they don't fit inside my body, like they want to burst out. Like I want to explode. It's a kind of intense restless agitation to which nothing brings relief. Sometimes I go for a run or bike ride to try calm myself down, but it doesn't have a big effect, and often I end up overexerting myself and get hurt. What appeals to me most in this state is the thought of hurting myself or not living or losing myself in drugs. It's very hard to keep myself from self-harming. I've been in this state for so long and I don't know how much more I can take. In the past I've described it as 'restlessness', because I don't know how else to describe it. But it's clear to me that it's much more than that.

Is this a mixed episode? I've been like this for so long... Sometimes they'll last for one day, sometimes days, sometimes weeks or maybe even months. I'll then have a brief period of respite before returning to the state I've described above. While in this state I can often get into a kind of semi-mania and get things done which I never thought I could - read books, make art, play music, write essays - but always with this horrible exploding depressive restlessness underneath. And it's extremely hard to motivate myself to do anything. But if I curl up in bed or try to calm down with a film or music, my heart begins to pound and shake my entire body, and the restlessness just gets worse and worse and I want to die.

I've tried lots of times to search on the internet for this kind of feeling, but I've never found anything. 
However reading this sub today, I'm struck by how people seem to have had similar sensations. I really didn't think I was Bipolar, because I don't think I have contrasting periods of 'highs' and 'lows'. I might be in a relative 'low', but there will always be the potential for a relative 'high' to emerge quickly out of this low. And vice versa. It's as if everything is there at once, as if I'm in a low and a high at the same time. Always fluctuating, but always wrong. It's awful. It has really impacted all aspects of my life. I've withdrawn from society and do not keep contact with anyone, and when I do meet people they are scared or unnerved by how bizarre my behaviour is.

I know it's unwise to seek opinions on the internet, but at this point in time I have no friends who I can talk to about this, and I don't have the money to see a doctor or psychologist.
If a redditor or two could give their thoughts on my state, it might help point me in the right direction.
Thank you.


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bipolarreddit,Limestone87,2019/03/25,"Mixed episode, first episode of any kind in years Hi all,

I just went through a mixed episode (or at least what I think was a mixed episode, never had one before) after being consistently healthy for 4+ years.  

In reflection, I’ve realized how much I’ve taken my good health for granted. I’d forgotten what it was like to feel completely out of control. I think I’ve also been in denial in the past that I ever did anything outside of my control during an episode and downplayed it, but this was the kick in the pants that reminded me what it’s really like. 

Anyway, in the aftermath there are some things that are still really getting me down (pretty sure I’m still depressed). This is the first episode I’ve had since my son was born. Before he was born I expressed to my wife that I was worried about passing bipolar on to him, and I was even more worried about having an episode while I was home alone with him. 

Well, I did end up having to be home alone with him a couple of times and it really terrifies me. At one point I was trying trying to get him into his car seat and he was giving me a really hard time. He wasn’t being intentionally difficult, really he was just playing, trying to turn off the dome light. I ended up screaming at him in my driveway while I tried to get him into the seat so I could buckle him in. He started bawling. That was early on in the episode and at that point I hadn’t realized yet that I was off in any way, but a couple minutes later I realized I had just done something that I would never, ever, ever normally do. The other times I was with him, I just felt so down that I could barely respond to his needs for food or a diaper change or whatever and definitely couldn’t play with him. It was really hard to look at him in the face. He had no idea what was going on and couldn’t understand why I couldn’t read to him or play with cars when that’s what we normally do every day. The one time I tried to read to him I started weeping before I got past the first page. 

Like I said, I was worried that something like this would happen, but I was not at all prepared to handle it,  nor was I at all prepared for how it would make me feel. After screaming at him I’m worried I’m going to become violent. And when I have trouble feeding him, it’s just an overwhelming feeling that I can’t take care of the kid that depends on me just to survive. I feel completely unable to parent properly and like I am a complete failure as a dad. It has me wondering if my family would be better off without me (not necessarily in a suicidal kind of way, more like should I just leave?). In my mind I keep telling myself I’m being irrational, but it’s pretty hard to believe right now. My wife knows I’m feeling down still and last night she asked me if I was going to be ok with him in the morning (I get him ready for the day and take him to childcare for the day because she leaves early). I know it’s a necessary question, but the fact that it even needs to be asked really cuts deep. 

Anyway, idk what I’m really looking for with this post. Just needed to get it out. 
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bipolarreddit,RisibleLaughter,2019/03/25,"I hurt someone today It's said that those you push away the hardest, and still somehow fight to remain should be cherished, and I do cherish you. Even though sometimes my actions speak otherwise, deep within, it's undoubtebly clear that some people can weather the storm and when I can actually speak out, it's just to confirm my misguided reality that consumes me whole that no, I am not alone, and that to be alone is sometimes even my greatest desire, and that I suffer to espouse that truth, and revert to a sequence of events that could very well led to a reality and truth, different from my desires, to become intertwined— and it's scares me. And yet, through those moments I leave behind everything, and continue on my merry way as if actions don't continue to have consequences that are severe and just stubbornly maintain my path without a single thought of those outside my bubble, and thus greatly alienate those that only care and support. It's just not fair. It's my greatest burden and yet I unfurl as if it's just and nebulously accept that I can't escape; but, somehow I pester on incesstantly able to change my direction and yet I can't, and sometime the act of several conjoined inactions are my closest held resolve and action. I feel like a taker that returns little and some will have me believe it isn't my fault, but how can it not be, how convient that I can absolve myself thoroughly and just continue wistfully.",15.636268656716418,8.678335985074629,13.722014925373134,56.3496641791045,54.82089552238807,16.534328358208953,54.3955223880597,12.38480682065935,6.6098940298507465,1156,56,192,21,8,369,143,268,0.07,0.779,0.151,0.9640000000000001,1,2,1,0,1,0,25.0,0,2,0,1,19,18,2,1,7,0,21,0,0,5,3,56,27,30,0,6,13,0,1,1,0,2,0,3,0,0,26,21,0,2,4,0,0,6,9,7,1,0,3,4,29,11,23,18,6,27,0,2,0,0,6,8,0,6,13,158,55,0,0.14455702284832148,0.0,0.14106680169872218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994349591076111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13581608149220284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596518744674897,0.0,0.16286626249497216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14738551901440305,0.0,0.15292216259632144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154170200323796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15103132148255993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19095710048312772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12991853104542975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309237420465939,0.1032715660066998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15937462802139574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475128275858827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15306501481001805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062325950642417,0.14488411338654264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10994212986507644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021763821640027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750683195389818,0.0,0.1447267980477007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3266165785958859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12248269635411285,0.0,0.42891177573147937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544342517858835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640415964500514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14202654099238216,0.1147621289654241,0.0,0.0,0.13702315505118373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11927468308601424,0.0,0.11474263616143596,0.0,0.0,0.1299741241411698,0.0,0.0,0.16139275358124894,0.0,0.1393478114963919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bleukat,2019/03/25,"I don't know what to think about this As long as my mind is busy I'm ok or okish... hypomanic even.  The moment I stop and am still and unoccupied by an activity I start to slid down into a depression (still some hypomanicness going on but no joy just heavy weights of meh)

This has been going on for a few days at least..  I just don't know. Usually this time of year I'm primarily hypomanic not this quick yoyoing.

​

And one else go through this and maybe understand it a bit?

​

I plan on talking to my therapist about this but he is brand new to me.. (and I him) I've only seen him once so I don't ..well.. have that sense of faith that I can have faith in him yet. ..and honestly unknowns are really had to deal with right now.",1.1445833333333333,3.3178718039215696,3.1785906862745112,89.30553308823532,82.59477124183006,6.962254901960787,21.327205882352946,8.07648339933343,0.9889480392156864,578,18,130,12,16,195,102,153,0.044000000000000004,0.8370000000000001,0.11900000000000001,0.9253,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,1,12,7,0,0,5,1,13,1,0,0,0,21,24,12,0,0,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,8,1,1,4,0,0,4,5,1,1,1,3,2,14,6,23,21,4,26,2,1,1,0,6,8,0,2,14,90,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32771623646189785,0.367523074462677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16510447181132473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753112262402493,0.15591194282381454,0.13025455611300632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263336269027198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988627913324412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257843231964152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16622458928229022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383418018961268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15193130343075972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15269963314416007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14605930103825102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16105548265230155,0.1024776598148926,0.11501756409604368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968820921481962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291499691942504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704168359807546,0.0,0.2415456489926148,0.12643541923957333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12155329892318024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17559019657618852,0.0,0.0969023593418944,0.0,0.0,0.08818368555173242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574362211550424,0.0,0.0,0.1665589636533604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841579338362736,0.13597432733548345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.367523074462677,0.0973874448817184
bipolarreddit,SlappyKraken,2019/03/25,"I miss my life before diagnosis Rationally I know that the BP 2 diagnosis is not what made everything fall apart. I know that the stuff going on with my body physically isn't caused by it. (Except for weight gain caused by the medication) I know that my friends didn't leave just because I ""suddenly went crazy"", I know I must have had symptoms before the big crisis, and I know that had things not gone the way they had I wouldn't have met my wonderful fiance. 
But I miss my friends. I miss everything about the life I had made for myself. I miss being blissfully ignorant of just how bad my mental issues are. I miss just having 2 pills to take at night instead of 8 at night and 2 during the day. I miss being able to drink if I want to. I miss living without parental restrictions. I miss freedom, fun, friends, and everything that I used to have. 
And I love my fiance, and I wouldn't trade him for any of that back because I know there's no guarantee I would have stayed happy.
I'm just so sad and hurt and angry that this happened, and that I hurt my friends bad enough that they don't want to talk to me but I can't even remember all the details because I was so completely disconnected from reality during that time.",4.393437801350046,5.416213647540985,5.192892960462874,83.39627290260368,70.31147540983606,8.691996142719383,27.467695274831254,9.007467420416297,1.9863281581485048,966,32,199,18,17,314,123,244,0.129,0.754,0.11800000000000001,0.1065,1,2,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,2,1,12,21,0,0,8,0,22,9,1,6,2,43,50,14,0,7,11,1,1,0,4,4,5,0,0,0,15,9,2,2,8,1,1,4,10,14,0,0,11,1,39,7,22,33,2,17,0,11,0,1,11,5,0,2,6,133,54,1,0.10800711726905736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344854346482578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08305080629843124,0.1803628629187213,0.1975204086041968,0.0,0.18381220339178386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11997155882426927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219061227300997,0.0,0.0,0.1132434075352078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965565543266651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580585618468484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160022426128076,0.0,0.07133768231682917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29120949798691154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337841235153408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061382933768999524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551033710204496,0.11497558471709635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312477057857169,0.0,0.0,0.11273136929887087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35614732212561195,0.0,0.0,0.11436394219132595,0.0,0.0,0.15257724215413832,0.0,0.0,0.09537226333069614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974806402147233,0.20439789172564934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880580772353736,0.10884577066211533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027147259084616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992912194671546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235100913665035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11512121620458653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12364230879666273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11226075002913877,0.0812079105347382,0.08681202962398081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07175512946878226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297981864981632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328347115348057,0.0,0.0,0.12741079226641086,0.08573102237068446,0.0,0.13152357154690875,0.0,0.1001236797854202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10411500680440347,0.11712911140313295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672515723235511,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,IdealPail,2019/03/25,"Psychiatrist came into my work? I recently saw my psych, and most of what she asked me about my work. The next day,  she comes in(never seen her there before) and makes eye contact with me the whole time and it was really uncomfortable. I'm working on switching to a new doctor soon,  for other issues with her. 

Was it inappropriate for her to show up? Maybe she was just hungry? She asked me a lot about work,  now she suddenly shows up??",2.9403571428571422,5.250754940476192,4.238333333333333,83.37750000000003,76.97619047619048,7.533333333333335,21.214285714285715,8.472884824447931,1.2356000000000005,341,9,68,7,8,112,58,84,0.047,0.953,0.0,-0.5931,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,0,4,0,3,2,1,1,0,12,11,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,3,15,0,13,5,3,14,0,0,3,0,11,4,0,2,8,49,19,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37761617807001546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718555895136277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309918036455898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17397319267127012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302493904806116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20671763041709768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107968412330331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170167216940482,0.0,0.0,0.13481183295128274,0.0,0.20289892225547584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950570691941377,0.21478988146790284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293826330640492,0.0,0.1994140415629542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776621640790733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22548441373308215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5881257124911735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,boolean_10,2019/04/30,"DAE experience bipolar more physically (energy,etc.)? If so, what meds helped the most? It seems like the mental/emotional side is more of a response to the physical effects in my experience. I'm unmotivated and hopeless when depressed because I'm so tired. The opposite of course is true when manic. Also I'm switching from lamictal because it didn't seem to do much for me. Curious what medications have helped anyone here with a similar experience.",5.773660714285718,8.437129187500005,7.3046428571428565,63.04750000000002,69.625,11.071428571428573,36.42857142857143,10.914260884657429,5.174607142857143,365,20,55,13,7,125,60,80,0.149,0.759,0.092,-0.7129,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,6,0,5,3,0,1,1,8,10,7,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,2,8,9,4,4,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,4,3,37,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16008721886358807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13997343530532474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24406083989439745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724183435314999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22518026188113224,0.0,0.0,0.223258280404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5874556300791831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683584763990013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779988014643692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22235949907914326,0.20166450398253136,0.20173857269590814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471584080318735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3644803237201781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300822701374106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rainfal,2019/04/30,"How do you stop missing appointments? I'm having a lot of trouble keeping appointments.  I keep missing doctors appointments, social workers, work, etc (honestly pretty much everything) on a regular basis.  Is there any way to stop?  How do you guys keep your schedule?",5.364000000000001,8.743015177777778,5.751111111111115,69.86000000000003,75.0,8.933333333333335,37.888888888888886,9.3871,4.922022222222223,213,13,28,6,5,68,35,45,0.24,0.6970000000000001,0.064,-0.7808,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,0,2,3,4,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,2,0,8,10,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,3,10,3,5,0,2,0,0,5,1,0,1,3,19,4,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15623394417865147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351529387177098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562255293962171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064792860712911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22748289276734746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6126216420809752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19532031550435588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16888843242382942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23373246076308016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23419529439230424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38415290130627744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18236026381999826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16725652445403072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,_StruggleBug,2019/04/30,"Worried about switching jobs (long, rant-ish) tl;dr
I want to leave my job but it could cause me to freak out and ruin my chances at a new one, and I dont know if I could get the help I need if I leave either.

So I overheard my manager talking to a new candidate for our department today, and that their pay rate would be, as a temp, a dollar more than mine, and I've been there as a perm for three years. Like, I'm glad our company is hiring for more $ in general but I've been wanting to leave for a year and a half now, but I haven't because it's the most stable job I've ever had, with good insurance, and unlike other jobs they actually adhere to reasonable accommodations ...

But even though the company is great, half the department is toxic and catty, and I feel like this should be the final straw. I'm just so scared of having some symptom  of mania or depression and it ruining me within a month of being hired. Every time I've changed jobs I immediately get manic, and although things are a little different because I'm finally on meds, I'm still having disruptive bp symptoms and need to make a change, and I probably need to be medicated for adhd and anxiety too, but it takes forever to get into see my psych let alone the weeks to months it takes to figure out if meds are doing what they are *supposed* to do.",5.222611940298506,5.250123462686566,6.485037313432838,78.4016604477612,68.1044776119403,9.834328358208957,29.436567164179106,9.673873057562805,2.52496567164179,1040,34,210,21,16,353,156,268,0.129,0.764,0.10800000000000001,-0.4538,6,1,0,0,0,0,31.0,2,0,3,0,11,10,0,1,16,0,24,3,0,3,1,47,42,28,0,12,11,0,1,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,10,17,0,0,4,0,2,2,2,5,0,4,3,2,22,5,31,30,5,25,0,3,1,0,7,8,0,6,17,145,32,10,0.0,0.0,0.0949335877836561,0.0,0.11691453816476448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075522601217153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442076858070724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11860489436897904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09993582093195136,0.20582375685966828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15534415852672093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378918728082818,0.0,0.0,0.10163940093196333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401424652332286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06425410671868821,0.0879974989678502,0.08196461649372076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04918890369183671,0.06949856492806185,0.0,0.21313622486662945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15247811410374235,0.0,0.0,0.08159586033168408,0.0,0.10725418778594002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652063410912124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4826888479664913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053463862062410515,0.0,0.0,0.30902404063375943,0.0,0.0994778435528632,0.0,0.0950545319690448,0.09750252030250092,0.0,0.08609186137607837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649367564105611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21611762797859885,0.09800178186377596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552997647128034,0.0,0.0,0.2164009974862176,0.0,0.18791189335723898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592107091349295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048868793833948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000225080210652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09739665195254313,0.0,0.07752147641182495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768984910881925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022273216182299,0.14628851345987154,0.07819190692447378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646301028679867,0.0,0.09557946259889916,0.0,0.05672614889107876,0.0,0.09221233884799206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475935827350632,0.0,0.07803407209481157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09879499787919233,0.0,0.06910662472774043,0.0,0.0,0.12529335021365645
bipolarreddit,FantasyinViolet,2019/04/30,"Can insomnia lead to mania? I’ve had insomnia for years due to trauma. I am usually able to beat my brain into submission with medication, otc and prescribed, sleeping music, carb heavy meal. When I smoke weed, I can sleep fine, but I am trying to quit. 

I usually go to bed between midnight to 3. Oftentimes, it’s been 5 or 9 am. The times I haven’t slept for over a day I’ve become manic or was abusing drugs. The last time I became manic was Hell. Became psychotic and everything. Needless, to say, I’m worried, because it’s 7:14 am and I took klonopin, 2  melatonin, 3-4 Benadry last nightl. Mentally, I feel normal, but I didn’t start having noticeably manic symptoms until 3 pm the last time. I might smoke when shops open, but the last time weed sent me over the edge.

Idk, so title question and what can I do
I’m on lithium and Lamictal",2.011525184924267,4.319425622754493,3.7860866502289534,85.41501585065164,80.19760479041916,6.80366326171187,25.392391687213806,7.928766900206844,1.690428249383586,657,26,127,12,17,220,107,167,0.109,0.882,0.009000000000000001,-0.946,0,0,3,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,3,3,3,1,0,6,0,16,10,4,1,0,18,24,14,0,1,5,0,1,0,0,1,5,1,1,0,3,8,1,0,2,1,1,4,2,2,0,0,8,2,14,1,16,15,0,26,1,0,0,0,3,5,1,4,17,68,17,1,0.1466930054371011,0.17380722402520227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942269455920626,0.16201089942116764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637579083574709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460485289737763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17011731436012795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183821446727245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07417239118064214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336901553154144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4782975131434461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477777700909871,0.14783204691749932,0.1556180970653394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437279994542182,0.0,0.16701095896483314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16432973836098164,0.15602606808130892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11665616574969608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29359789074252857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10383006427313554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524702003977596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3421514845770969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16298132657627798,0.0995949215100196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3231232417145238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14897386766931095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446548598238852
bipolarreddit,makennawenna,2019/04/30,"Dating while bipolar? I'm back out into the dating pool after being in a long-term relationship. I've never dated casually while knowing I was bipolar, so I am noticing a lot of less than desirable habits this time around. How do you handle bringing someone you like into your life knowing you're not always the most sane? Do you have any thought patterns / actions that you wish you had more control of? Genuinely curious to hear other experiences cause ^(i have no idea what I am doing)",5.359230769230769,7.251840307692312,6.0778021978022005,74.64219780219783,69.0,7.837362637362638,31.68131868131868,8.418075326091056,2.733545054945055,392,17,63,6,7,128,71,91,0.040999999999999995,0.847,0.11199999999999999,0.7464,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,6,0,1,4,2,0,0,4,0,10,3,0,3,1,17,17,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,4,0,1,4,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,1,10,2,10,13,4,16,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,2,10,50,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19689444295527844,0.0,0.0,0.16091596430120106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106501483709892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819532416991277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430833617589381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653997587947777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23146875446683354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26669829604301776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.267125554135292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26009043006904004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671381956226875,0.11560507016393748,0.0,0.0,0.20940938782733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20117367632387415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18250301989470366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694039024224876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540511952268874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20049514571891786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878571459874897,0.1379803842455135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27211189174561395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,chr0nicallythrill,2019/04/30,"Drug-Induced (psych meds) Lupus? Has anyone experienced drug-induced lupus from psych meds? It’s looking like I have lupus (I definitely have an autoimmune disease) and I am on and also used to be on several of the psych medications that cause drug-induced lupus. My GP and psychiatrist do not think this is a possibility. I currently take lithium and trileptal and have taken abilify and Thorazine, as far as medications that are known to cause lupus.

If it is, I don’t know what exactly I would do about it, because stopping or changing my psych meds is not an option. I am finally stable for the first time in my life. Now I just need my body to stop turning against me.",4.146979241231212,6.3596712283464605,5.637136721546169,75.21085182534004,72.93700787401575,8.397709377236936,31.23049391553329,9.095868883498916,3.042329133858268,534,25,93,12,11,180,80,127,0.032,0.904,0.064,0.6072,1,0,3,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,5,0,15,4,1,3,1,23,23,11,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,7,6,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,2,13,1,13,20,0,11,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,3,8,67,20,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11465015848836745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10024520793000577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739490314507915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15924788994267608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945538272274268,0.15166277404831746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4987789604783411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570510207696687,0.0,0.1219474931843948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879049294829635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126401667377537,0.07004164254041323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039177347293906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4777436698280282,0.2888533826398315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630446192195253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16162421606351735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16196336593402955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23972166936367575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779378484406754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09186348052795884,0.0,0.0,0.0835981738275687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15594161079618726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238226467447982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184346618909597,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SadObligation09,2019/04/30,"Meds: When do you know it's time to lower or increase dosage? So I've been taking 50mg of lamictal for the past four months now. It's my first time taking a mood stabilizer since I was just diagnosed w/bipolar in December 2018. 

​

I felt great after the initial increase to 50mg, however, I've noticed a slow decline in mood. But this slow decline is also accompanied by dizziness, exacerbated depression during period, emotional numbness (empty/apathetic), cognitive difficulties, lower sex drive, and less intense sex.

​

I had a more intense depressive episode that only lasted for a day and started leveling out within a week, so I don't know if my apathy is related to this, but I just have been feeling like I don't care anymore & have less motivation. 

​

Maybe it's time for an increase I'm not sure, going to ask my psychiatrist soon. But I was wondering what you guys were feeling when you either increased or decreased? What was happening when the decision was made to go higher/lower?",5.532370766488416,7.7035177807486654,6.624941176470588,69.76956862745101,69.05347593582889,9.692549019607846,34.92655971479501,10.047579312681364,4.1431699821746895,823,42,129,22,15,275,118,187,0.099,0.767,0.134,0.6791,4,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,3,0,2,10,9,0,0,9,0,15,4,0,2,1,23,31,14,0,1,10,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,8,3,0,0,8,0,0,7,3,3,0,2,10,3,13,4,15,21,8,31,0,2,0,2,5,5,0,4,20,85,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08945883782002811,0.0,0.4848250953763332,0.4077866530655264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11094056382691904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457918605691953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11405438099691535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214402365116171,0.0,0.19269926407211288,0.11354117583454172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12583368410604273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312516387302142,0.07991676939662698,0.10740846834061944,0.0,0.0,0.09515277745079287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12715153703173954,0.0,0.0,0.12333216090121835,0.0,0.11076447937773982,0.09892233410223444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229567586011992,0.09118535160649537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054651855900460435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584988572218176,0.0,0.0,0.1123839780898876,0.0,0.12425740485137644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929001265529911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735966712650645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507878963345361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10678832282014218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925363367754248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917901020097001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10543195452674024,0.0,0.16821793957399275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956891008201208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973179447857609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131341426362192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4077866530655264,0.0
bipolarreddit,CrippleCantCope,2019/07/29,"Caregiver in need of advice My wife has been having worse manic episodes for some time now, and she ended her last manic period two days or so ago. She has been asleep and dead to the world since then, and I woke her up once to get her to use the bathroom, and once to get some sugar in her system. But now she's not waking up no matter what I try and I'm getting worried. She is breathing, but with a little rattle. Is being dead to the world like this a thing?",2.9304270986745213,3.825541865979382,4.047275405007365,90.72670103092787,73.63917525773195,6.36759941089838,20.04270986745213,6.1826913282559595,-0.02004447717231228,359,6,79,2,7,117,65,97,0.12,0.8240000000000001,0.055999999999999994,-0.8179,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,0,8,4,3,1,0,15,15,10,2,1,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,1,11,1,12,11,2,17,0,0,0,0,9,7,0,3,10,56,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22976150689154876,0.20842419673998552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15163622515508676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20825103201442266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3685294495319497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19165832188548346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11487023743694574,0.23565709968455395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743422675237194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5008010729881565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19449789585002306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15620665544779214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13710332494454416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596344952703282,0.0,0.2296830381006189,0.0,0.0,0.20307257676658869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387809319320225,0.2396125437664129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,earplugZ86,2019/07/29,"Things bipolar stole. So. My work colleagues think it's okay to take the piss out of me for not learning to drive by the time I'm 30. I can't tell them it's because I've been so regularly unwell and on so many meds that it's not easy to get the DVLA to give me a provisional licence! I can't rant really loudly about all the things I can't do because of this flicking disease.  So I'm gonna rant here and then take a bath. 

I can't get drunk, can't stay out late and light up the town.
Can't even do overtime without wondering if the lack of sleep is gonna land me inpatient.
Can't buy a house, get married, have a stressful but otherwise wonderful life experience without going nuts.
Can't take drugs recreationally, not that I'm seeing it's healthy but I'd like the option. 
Can't drive. 
Can't start a new job without fearing that occy health questionnaire. 
Can't skip the gym.
Can't just hate the winter without it hating me back. 
Can't have kids without fearing going insane, without fearing passing it on, without fearing social service or the damage I could do.
Can't wear a bikini, or short sleeves without judgement.
Can't just go on holiday, leave the country, work aboard without extortionate insurance, stocking up on meds etc etc. 
Can't get life insurance. 
Can't get health insurance.
Can't just be mad or sad without having to dissect it.",3.8036825396825407,5.373812659259257,4.720582010582009,84.11833333333338,72.4074074074074,7.365079365079365,30.264550264550266,7.957251820313856,2.064121693121693,1078,47,210,15,21,350,138,270,0.062,0.7390000000000001,0.19899999999999998,0.9899,1,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,2,11,13,4,5,17,1,28,10,3,0,1,35,52,14,0,3,22,0,0,1,0,2,6,1,1,1,13,5,1,0,4,4,1,6,31,11,0,0,1,3,11,2,29,47,4,25,0,2,1,0,5,11,1,7,8,125,24,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05767518432727602,0.0,0.09144624021838957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059886395551959536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869834490616005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16730361453646234,0.04954092754162099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337051516759882,0.0,0.3376115833744128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19593837624440055,0.07195283954510978,0.1278833587823781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14810630694736246,0.0,0.15945629454230406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08654715387800782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07443213971349613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461032868566225,0.07942079963169793,0.0,0.0,0.1059582797277861,0.036644270080650826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07604457526817222,0.0,0.0,0.16663009253291428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244151361232902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04805093100716998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059770278383166765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07506042894591365,0.07645943663692137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053089817110831314,0.07994669360248151,0.0,0.0,0.08591941777885356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16918611935303166,0.0,0.06555877755594984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996616529806706,0.04806098299412142,0.0,0.0,0.04373675357797442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7230335834551669,0.16268217953215336,0.10921090166895243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Queen_Lene,2019/07/29,"Pregnancy and Lamictal vs Latuda I am 5 weeks pregnant and just had my first psych appointment since finding out. While I'm very excited I know that it's important (for me at least) to stay on my meds. When I originally met with my doctor a few months ago I told him my boyfriend and I would be trying to conceive in the coming months. He put me on lamictal (100mg). Fast forward to today I have a med check in with another doctor, I explained that I'm pregnant and he suggested that I switch to Latuda. 

I'm very nervous about switching because from everything I've read the lamictal is safer than the anti-psychotic. I'm going to be speaking with my PCP on friday about her thoughts on all of this. Does anyone have any experience with pregnancy and either of these medications?",4.294315673289184,6.107141781456952,5.4155132450331145,78.64834713024284,71.58278145695364,9.006843267108167,30.46412803532009,9.516144504307137,3.001516114790287,623,27,114,15,12,206,98,151,0.017,0.93,0.053,0.5994,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,1,5,0,8,3,0,1,1,21,19,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,6,11,0,0,4,1,1,4,0,1,0,1,4,1,17,1,24,12,4,23,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,0,11,73,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568018977755694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12029094799104093,0.18548409824827108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12368527410355085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078302172638505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523746694937784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36210786420250535,0.1547972220447445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15897690602771625,0.17303190535529153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616738282025648,0.15046214609364916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053039781626588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721386107422043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39296878772947946,0.17819759440516608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28238307464630824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17782283751300598,0.0,0.0,0.17693740145279493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632484932008752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18854070588565272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14043053015814316,0.0,0.0,0.16767059378600882,0.16902552886530614,0.0,0.1200963813239948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919047795856057,0.0,0.0,0.14189011326614004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256572487739197,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Casualfreakout,2019/07/29,"Bipolar and being a teenager Only found this community yesterday so not sure how stuff is done here yet but 

I was wondering if anyone has any experience finding the line between risk taking behaviours with bipolar, and those that just come from being a teenager/ young adult 
I’m a 18F and was diagnosed only a year ago so I don’t have much experience",7.23,7.885381848484847,7.651060606060607,69.59659090909092,63.84848484848485,10.842424242424245,36.196969696969695,10.686352973137794,4.1125878787878785,286,13,48,7,4,94,53,66,0.071,0.929,0.0,-0.5057,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,5,0,9,3,0,1,1,14,14,8,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,0,2,1,3,8,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,5,36,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21111383001643025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16195647569931745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16652650448150988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051531297176129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417266537023816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24371962827289925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4659309456430258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21767326524398545,0.0,0.0,0.2611293553914233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17507447210363214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3622617251932148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.272635393915251,0.0,0.0,0.22446230077967247,0.0,0.1790661375798444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582735775247704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15336676651207207
bipolarreddit,trailermoon18,2019/07/29,Went out drinking for the first time in months I regret everything. My brain feels fucked. My body feels sad. I always get out of control and then I tell myself I'm never drinking again and then I forget and do it again 6+ months later. When will I get myself out of this cycle. I feel like shit still and its been over 24 hours.,0.2180718954248384,2.592078911764709,1.4125490196078443,98.39258169934642,90.76470588235294,3.610457516339869,13.437908496732025,5.033348758259628,-1.2571522875816998,258,4,56,1,9,81,48,68,0.21899999999999997,0.747,0.035,-0.9231,0,0,2,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,4,5,2,0,1,0,3,6,3,1,1,14,11,7,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,7,2,1,3,2,0,1,1,4,0,1,2,3,10,1,8,8,0,19,0,2,0,1,1,5,2,0,14,37,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17516672589319146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23383655252406985,0.0,0.23500621545168035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23611233564109915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4124523660365956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891988005014549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31933064699960323,0.1503931445125569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17906536410282178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946192606554411,0.2199725329882029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073165054998486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284780684170512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3360647803504232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16236342672117146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.216092327067878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16811887722107005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840008404045932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227539578212517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951510536038012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,darkmeowl25,2019/07/29,"Getting help is expensive. I probably need to go to, at the very least, intensive outpatient treatment. Things are deteriorating rapidly it seems. 

But..

Getting help is fucking expensive. 

I would have to take unpaid leave from work. 
I would have to pay for transportation to treatment. 
I would have to pay for treatment. 

It would literally make my life harder if I went for help. 

Why is it like this? Why do people always preach about getting help when they have no idea how much getting help can fuck your finances?

Situations like this make it seem like things will never get better.",4.446984265734264,7.472564625000004,4.322272727272729,80.91363636363639,75.82692307692308,7.243356643356643,27.72377622377623,8.296473431620573,2.2658961538461533,467,19,79,9,11,143,65,104,0.102,0.718,0.18,0.8821,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,1,2,3,6,2,0,1,0,15,3,0,3,1,14,30,4,0,6,2,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,3,0,5,3,2,2,0,0,1,0,8,4,12,24,2,6,1,0,0,2,7,1,2,3,5,52,16,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351010532372613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064999854338848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25223115477416697,0.3563619925602013,0.0,0.07752908410029033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4571881369744904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15399850462738934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14444620267840558,0.0,0.0,0.09635555937481674,0.19993977727313253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18211918772121813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028239735299747,0.10115168476406394,0.10521341638296618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457456558394313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14708090095496798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483783369193513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15333873865457365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025688174037106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18125915871495876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125585429748862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646018549270951,0.24619075413975056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09931340473981372,0.0,0.0,0.3876276875302705,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ilostmylenscap,2019/07/29,"Just bought a puppy while hypomanic. I’m new to this. I’m 19. I just got my diagnosis. I’m not entirely sure what hypomania feels like. But I know I’m in it, that’s what my doctor says. I just spent $390 on a 10 week old puppy. I bought all the stuff you need for a puppy: food, a crate, toys. After getting no sleep last night and drinking 2 coffees this morning I decided today that I wanted a puppy, found an add on Craigslist and bought her. I can’t be responsible for another thing right now. I’m supposed to start an “intensive out patient program” soon and I’ll be away from my house for hours every day. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I feel so guilty. I took on this responsibility while feeling incredibly good and confident that I could do it, then when I got home and took my meds and started actually taking care of her, I realized it is just too much. I have 30 days to return the dog. I’m just really embarrassed about it. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say to the guy I bought her from, I’ll have to make up some lie. Has anyone ever done anything like this? I just don’t feel like myself and I don’t know what to do.",1.6838624338624335,3.2743149876543254,3.8792357436801854,87.86037037037038,78.1358024691358,7.097707231040566,22.682539682539684,7.957251820313856,0.9770268077601412,894,27,202,15,21,308,131,243,0.057999999999999996,0.848,0.094,0.8014,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,0,14,8,0,1,10,0,15,4,1,1,4,38,49,13,0,3,10,0,4,3,0,0,1,2,1,1,18,9,2,0,10,2,5,2,7,1,0,0,11,6,26,7,23,35,3,30,0,0,0,0,7,8,0,1,23,122,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.1267978846721161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362482498322397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085362187799688,0.0,0.10692549118107864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207827518799592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13247746328183416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10374258024592008,0.0,0.0,0.16759474139812372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13299404966253367,0.0,0.13296868879998952,0.0,0.12728690151240246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11753370947053875,0.10947590027935604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627963014177419,0.1856512795178082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571180020490861,0.14246709729388254,0.0,0.0,0.06788571104819109,0.0,0.0,0.10898337174021967,0.20784189007385293,0.0,0.0,0.1286561473696733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303354691712865,0.0,0.1279598702319641,0.14992762502219809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21422674864130284,0.10591442401162422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19043913535070134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08673266798987632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443285706766444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551722675329101,0.09634520778434216,0.0,0.12549209999694247,0.0,0.1219352608743358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13634499822315485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08323973283009499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11096383957419068,0.0,0.20665916528113865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300289072575488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18393742221747134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14874456811819556,0.0,0.0,0.24492453095556224,0.0,0.0976950017985812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632308670854673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316325317062075,0.0,0.28872528674511155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663907061308428,0.0,0.10422607535409056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Katamaroon,2019/07/29,"I am not ok My grandmother died a week ago, I’m unemployed (quit my job thinking I could find a new one pretty quickly HAHAHA),  living off of savings, no health insurance, ghosted by someone I really liked, and all of my friends/family are busy with their own lives so I don’t feel like I can talk to them.

I got drunk thinking it would help numb the pain but it backfired. Now I feel all of the things.

Just want to say I have a lot of respect for the people who respond to posts on here. I see you being supportive and I think you’re awesome for doing that. Maybe some day I’ll be ok enough to do that, too.",2.4619685039370083,3.768461535433069,3.85748818897638,90.02638976377955,75.37795275590551,7.2847244094488195,24.511023622047247,7.908726449838941,1.1433218897637791,473,15,105,7,10,156,94,127,0.102,0.728,0.17,0.8934,3,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,2,1,6,9,0,0,6,2,11,4,0,0,2,20,21,4,2,3,3,0,2,2,0,1,3,1,0,0,6,3,1,0,6,1,0,0,3,2,0,1,1,4,16,7,14,16,6,9,0,0,1,0,8,2,0,2,8,71,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155971012775912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14048351778361495,0.0,0.0,0.1134746156198944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18261060880751548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18180566204540927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16587207888213967,0.0,0.17793344254679594,0.12570028991888588,0.0,0.0,0.16081712710011406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14072505132972415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18702896528984814,0.0,0.0,0.11793705363843605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17460541291120169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17192271867743944,0.0,0.3107380400062887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14958827199745406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17676763881715205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699357353541144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192297673220543,0.0,0.18722555094297205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198310402274977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685135740512746,0.1790066477466967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18714682767294666,0.0,0.0,0.11271948759728187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399242550749147,0.0,0.0,0.1402111262296279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14908373172882866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19966847632765253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14142371687660968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11689482619392995,0.3382292036575115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037811688688586,0.0,0.1411382450273942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12499139762935063,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,stormdrinker,2019/06/12,"Mania with crazy high empathy anyone? Not kidding I sometimes feel like I get empathic superpowers and I cannot be alone in this. Last night I was feeling incredibly empathetic and I gave my dog a raw hide and then just lay down on my bed with him watching him chew on it for about 30 minutes, from beginning to the end when he ate the thing. I could feel how much he was enjoying it and felt like I was eating it myself and it was so euphoric like I was a dog eating a raw hide and I could tell when it tasted good or when it hurt his teeth and I just felt what he felt, it was amazing. I get this way with people too but last night it happened to be with my dog. Can anyone relate to this and what's your experience?",3.0663818181818168,4.098502886666669,4.438848484848486,87.52609090909094,73.46666666666667,7.587878787878788,24.303030303030305,8.00094639256281,1.0954666666666668,563,16,125,8,11,187,83,150,0.053,0.8109999999999999,0.136,0.8809999999999999,1,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,9,7,0,0,5,0,12,6,1,1,0,26,24,16,0,2,5,0,6,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,14,12,5,0,6,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,11,8,19,6,14,9,1,16,0,1,1,0,10,5,0,1,13,85,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16454407495911605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22217479779599114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536936482281697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32513261503794844,0.0,0.0,0.1407139461878559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15540786428779607,0.0,0.0,0.24099224357598795,0.11349859982143805,0.457627761644983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16600872715479106,0.0,0.0,0.13325477883547476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14049049400320202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16785759893246885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17007637816329566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590047072648448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328513465638312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678962324938275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981822999344612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101422400647526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15712903972454972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13886163375050342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10554787986521616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610565567775744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Deslondes704,2019/06/12,"No one can understand this Unless they are a sufferer. I usually don’t drink while depressed... 

Before I was medicated I wouldn’t go out when in a depressive episode. Lamotrigine has given me enough confidence to do so, but fuck is it hard. 

I’m now, while still in my usual funk albeit not actively suicidal, going out, but my drinking is on par with manic me.

I attribute part of it to turning 30 recently and realizing I’m not where I thought I’d be. I’m a single dad. Dating is rough being a single dad regardless with bipolar in the mix. I hate dating apps, so I’m reverting to the bar scene which is great when manic, but tragedy when depressed and drinking. 

The bars don’t bring anything. You’ll meet a cool person, but more often than not it never amounts to shit. Sex, sure. Fling, happens. But nothing of substance. Nothing that matters. 

I’m tired of being alone. Every good woman I’ve found gets turned off when I fall into the severe depression. Or my daughter and the time I need with her shuts the relationship down.

Tired of it all. 

If you read through my troubles here’s a tune - https://youtu.be/EnilqYEhP1M",2.546375968992248,5.236278186046512,3.7651453488372115,84.02415213178298,81.09302325581395,6.5600775193798455,25.702519379844965,7.793537801064563,1.7554379844961243,890,36,163,16,24,289,139,215,0.22,0.6729999999999999,0.107,-0.9791,0,1,3,0,2,0,36.0,0,2,1,0,11,13,3,0,12,1,16,12,1,1,3,33,35,19,1,4,11,3,2,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,7,9,5,0,4,6,0,4,8,9,0,1,4,3,18,4,23,26,7,30,0,5,0,2,11,11,2,3,15,110,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729549122553865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011427085374064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458554886893856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4234414898940604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3612087773858174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269966900226429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355518549896997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13476214080104562,0.0,0.11362634974894895,0.06421429175175772,0.0,0.1397027553330221,0.1030892940643834,0.0,0.1355063658788089,0.0,0.0,0.10868702778328386,0.0,0.11010131426111074,0.12134608067705037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12381675330488966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091134631810155,0.0947941300821188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358668414441099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328555685074775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309725113217227,0.0,0.0,0.10731841550467214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12294113542451846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135669865646748,0.13195706055576464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388509141974506,0.12616316725686064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815438758829673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13444126628471828,0.0,0.11583921745165232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09757512365476466,0.07166857019953086,0.2825290432261737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673769478129161,0.0,0.1279514322542097,0.0,0.0,0.2707313196146509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,coozkomeitokita,2019/06/12,"Getting off Effexor XR/SR 225mg a day Hey guys,
I'm currently living in Japan and taking Effexor XR/SR 225mg a day. I am moving to the United States and not even the highest level of health insurance coverage seems to cover it so I am trying to slowly cut down on it before I move. (Los Angeles, California, if anyone has any suggestions.)

I tried just taking two of the 75mg pills instead of three instead of opening it up and dumping out some of the contents. I felt terrible. Just insanely fatigued.

Not to be a complaining bitch but my gf isn't very cooperative.

How in your experience were you able to get off of it?",3.3820967741935486,5.0480201129032265,5.708903225806456,76.2183548387097,73.67741935483872,9.153548387096777,29.335483870967746,9.642632912329526,2.9973122580645164,490,21,92,13,10,173,86,124,0.08199999999999999,0.89,0.027999999999999997,-0.6315,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,0,0,7,6,3,0,7,0,6,3,0,1,0,15,13,7,0,1,6,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,6,0,2,2,1,8,0,19,10,1,16,1,1,0,0,7,10,1,3,3,61,12,0,0.21455384727966967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14590397351509593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500210386433725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18256952139745114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.276738963796919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14171079262269565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098748322949897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060053399247753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22419105964029706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21244204091469002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22806070666807454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894549779566504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4560735698510776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195321764484456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.322635583197125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913359572369494,0.0,0.2095879328988997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770293939023582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rosepills,2019/06/12,"can someone please tell me if what my psychiatrist is doing is normal? please help hello, i’m new to this subreddit so just sharing a bit of background,i was only diagnosed with bipolar disorder two years ago when i was 18, i took myself to the doctor when i turned legal in 2017 because my religious abusive mother wouldn’t

i’m sorry if this is going to sound silly or funny, she explained to me i was possessed with powerful demons and took me for an exorcism, i saw an imam for exorcism a couple of times then stopped.after my official diagnosis thankfully she wised up.

doctor first tells me i have depression and gave me one antidepressant, sessions later she re-diagnoses me. at first it was two pills a day, months later it became 8 pills a day. i didn’t care or notice, i would’ve also gave an eye to be better. it was tiring to take all of them, but i did it for myself and held my ground.  to be clear,i felt the best as days pass i could not take it anymore and didn’t care that it did make feel best. it became worse. she would only spend 5-7 minutes with me

i took zepryxa, cipralex and depakote. 
1 cipralex 3 depakote at morning
1 zepryxa 3 depakote at night

i gained a lot of weight, half of my hair fell, slept 14-16 hours a day, felt i wasn’t even alive, just walking. went from an A student to doing horrible. i talked to her, she said it’s what was best for me. my gut feeling told me she was lying , i threw them all away, first two weeks was rough because of side effects.

did any of you guys take as much as i did? same medicine? was i wrong for suspecting her? i feel bad for not replying to her calls she is a nice person,i don’t want to regret not going and missing my treatments. sorry if this was long!",2.1965972222222234,4.150095122507125,3.5134535256410264,89.40941105769232,77.83190883190883,6.324821937321937,23.78926282051281,7.292943589461545,0.9411117521367528,1352,45,281,17,32,441,185,351,0.102,0.735,0.163,0.955,1,0,0,0,0,1,41.0,0,1,2,10,7,16,0,0,14,0,31,12,4,2,2,40,63,20,0,9,11,1,8,0,0,2,7,2,0,1,14,9,1,1,8,0,1,10,8,5,0,8,31,12,49,11,37,27,9,39,1,3,2,0,27,8,0,6,21,184,63,5,0.0,0.10673723575028324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985584595857252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204177993707474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612616017360466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934115264712908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08463880742830933,0.0,0.0752180870774609,0.10983123727017896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836192481266039,0.0796737885788932,0.09835063219579028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09198792710259647,0.0,0.18369745945435245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192637885838812,0.09967849850777648,0.0,0.2323921929818996,0.0,0.07759098102888279,0.1828708845899512,0.0,0.0,0.1032464155519575,0.1844137745420088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595009849985535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366506377628319,0.0,0.17299346667436355,0.0,0.0,0.2298814389016164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239595408035353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08919935070282446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060382778957073974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871661070273396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972331752525477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658793639431051,0.0,0.0,0.0601331364850449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190582394142772,0.0,0.0662236106203842,0.0,0.0,0.08700566639771605,0.0,0.08453965333283467,0.08826519983678574,0.0,0.10256356259004196,0.0,0.0,0.061044637484182936,0.13702899768084678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865966222210365,0.0,0.19777485646482984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569246102488268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07632961602276088,0.0,0.0,0.20168791028154914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20320048996117027,0.0724077528817039,0.15747835308908478,0.0829391294394818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05252989896771998,0.1035406598373484,0.0,0.08608107929569432,0.30026674164838424,0.0,0.09798775122628137,0.2640029362724353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05313508508468243,0.0,0.07226159369730972,0.10970053698706476,0.0,0.08351066891202949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09180537904926228,0.12798908742839954,0.09849495140472272,0.0,0.058012461243298126
bipolarreddit,tornadohuman,2019/10/10,"Mania in Bipolar I symtoms seem different? Hi friends,

I (29f) have Bipolar Disorder I in addition to rapid cycling/mixed episodes, and have had this diagnosis for about two years now. I feel what could maybe be described as being hypomanic frequently, which doesn't necessarily match the diagnosis of type one, or the full blown episodes I have had in the past. I also find the hallmark of minimal sleep rarely occurring, commonly maybe dropping from 8 hours to 6 hours, but also sometimes sleeping a lot more. My meds obviously do their job and are stable, and since it never goes away they mainly serve to lessen the intensity of episodes. 

I was just curious if anyone else finds themselves feeling manic but not necessarily having the ""correct"" symptoms. Not sure if it maybe just comes more with the mixed episode part but I rarely ever know if that's happening well until it being over. 

Anywho, thanks for any input or personal thoughts y'all! I appreciate it!",6.462535778175316,8.524833133720938,6.446744186046512,72.40809481216459,66.5,9.478354203935599,34.74239713774597,9.851270322608157,3.75677763864043,777,37,126,18,13,246,123,172,0.025,0.857,0.11800000000000001,0.9422,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,2,0,8,4,0,0,8,0,14,5,2,0,5,32,22,15,0,4,12,0,2,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,8,6,0,0,7,0,0,1,4,0,1,2,4,2,13,4,18,14,6,18,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,7,10,90,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22915726401348002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743333004249707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001826682255886,0.14680430387161406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346135364546542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12342052091907575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11439509270857767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14969405741067834,0.1642079507735029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968961845112575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12960232490259546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448903969464177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619053174918479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069551939103574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669945186578488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821981327910682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421803974766785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874133813838953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121809052857164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4318232647372452,0.0,0.15914854039598225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105041196401689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09708825990132876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15515511931114315,0.13677418845571784,0.0,0.12510402296269035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13043407581718713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11852028415541772,0.0,0.28676111323358616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417046992862296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13503695569769833,0.1489197496972214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13191028871449664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137460001891436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13996089172273565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12882330506084855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226574432790206
bipolarreddit,heyitsCindy,2019/10/10,"Not sure of a title, just needing a bit of advice Hi everyone. I'm looking for advice and ways that I can help myself, I'm unsure on what to do but I thought this could be somewhere to start? 
Please feel free to point me in another direction.

Apologies for the following salad of words and if none of it makes any sense.

What has helped you to become.. functional? Normal? Stable? 

I honestly have no idea how to be any of those things anymore. Every time I get back up on my feet something in life comes and knocks me over again.

I've been diagnosed three different illnesses by three different psychiatrists. One said depression, another has said bipolar and the third has said BPD. Is it possible to be all three?  

Any advice will be appreciated
Thank you for reading",2.9157327586206883,5.670317586206899,3.976099137931037,82.69725215517244,80.0344827586207,7.762931034482759,25.614224137931036,8.660442795831766,2.2854913793103444,610,24,111,15,16,197,101,145,0.092,0.757,0.151,0.8905,2,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,0,4,5,0,0,4,0,14,6,1,2,2,20,29,7,0,4,4,0,1,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,8,5,1,0,3,1,1,2,3,1,0,5,5,5,10,5,21,18,3,14,0,1,1,0,9,7,0,1,4,76,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3901089916553547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714803865420546,0.27907500124113216,0.0,0.0,0.131971577450523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10232408492132512,0.0,0.0,0.1469674699103515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14528006063901758,0.0,0.16759941252059746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11462966766341025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062470921517762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114614641281375,0.1350651877328556,0.0,0.2780636465377513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211882370582199,0.1271559128878263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728515617138521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952458075005001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17839059277163624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022198907119935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09399262559318787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174688956884296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882653339299611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09867113528099856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303822181750257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017297029401856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14607299667827314,0.1257959678016296,0.15001858435252918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13310792137002428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37974557934365205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244525779362668,0.0,0.0,0.0941889829719577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12541870054215076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251473615673407,0.0,0.0,0.0884070641640844,0.0,0.0,0.10564423243905208,0.07759530098596032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562628834604876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,scrapperdude,2019/10/10,"Being responsible after first manic episode Hello, looking to see if anyone can relate or has advice for my situation. Trying to get better and work through this. 

TLDR: Recently diagnosed BP1, was doing really well beforehand, and starting to recover from the depression and anxiety afterwards. Feeling stuck, have been listening to depression for months and now I believe it. Have fallen into bad patterns and not sure if I’m just a lazy person or not. 

Diagnosed back in July with BP1 after first manic episode. Returning to normalcy has been difficult for me. I had been focused on self-improvement for about 6 months prior to my episode, and was *really doing well!* For the first time I felt proud of myself, had a great work ethic, felt valued, and was having fun and enjoying life in general. This was on top of a high stress job and working Instacart on the side while maintaining other responsibilities and a social life. I was killing it, and then had an episode that doctors say led to psychosis. 

Three months later and my meds are starting help. I wouldn’t call myself stabilized yet, but I feel like I’m making progress... but the time in between has been filled with depression and anxiety. Now I’m stuck at a high functioning job with bad habits I made to survive my depression. Most of the time at work I would just play on my phone and distract myself, since I didn’t feel capable or worthy of being there, and it seemed like any interaction was a trigger. I just wanted to hide, and some days couldn’t make it to work. A lot of the tasks that used to be easy now give me confusion and anxiety. I went from top performer to can barely function. 

But I still have this job, and don’t think I like it or want to do it anymore. Motivation is lacking. Nonetheless, I believe getting better and stabilizing means having a maintainable work ethic and able to meet the essential functions of my role, even if it’s not best for me in the long run. But getting started just... it’s like I can’t. Like it’s all so overwhelming still. 

People walk on eggshells around me and treat me different, most stopped interacting with me. I supervise people that no longer respect me, and have to grade their performance and criticize their mistakes. I have work that I’ve skipped on that I’ll likely have to answer for. Each time I have a task to do, all of the above runs through my head. I’m stuck in a victim mentality again. Life has been hard for me with trauma and loss, and now I’ll have to deal with this for the rest of my life... 

I’m feeling like I don’t know what to do with myself or my life in the long run. Can anyone relate to my story? How did you break out? I’m currently trying to bank wins for myself but can’t stop self comparing to where others are or where I was. 
-Ben",4.35129060970182,6.110234682242992,5.059726301735651,81.47480529595016,71.33644859813084,8.459724076546506,27.878282153983086,9.04235418022936,2.3156319537160663,2205,81,414,45,42,711,243,535,0.14300000000000002,0.7190000000000001,0.138,-0.3773,5,0,0,0,0,0,66.0,0,1,2,23,23,37,2,4,22,0,52,9,1,8,3,94,88,43,1,10,21,0,7,7,0,2,8,2,0,2,21,36,0,2,12,1,1,8,11,16,2,4,24,11,46,21,72,58,10,70,0,6,2,0,18,24,0,15,44,293,67,14,0.07234929288887244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069889167175701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049200000127400265,0.0,0.16604103309379345,0.0,0.07175105771082795,0.10117661558549627,0.0,0.0,0.06440620961193343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05563214037621222,0.12081727506045126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16302575543947767,0.0759261192902146,0.12797414031456808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07387671717541834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046659308605657326,0.07458894412163744,0.24925735980291386,0.14686601868310892,0.0,0.07558961230683686,0.0,0.07405256697379582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047786025610668116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632790535053192,0.10337269859176547,0.13893333411506326,0.0,0.0,0.1846208147148645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11339855828247927,0.06940403427800672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976535082542305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06481075557905625,0.0,0.0742512472754869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04849420596577007,0.15288200037782373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21538652853952445,0.0,0.08004377314199959,0.0,0.03976127927425546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25551222595098033,0.2474234700109224,0.0,0.0,0.12805369501435532,0.06075518439162062,0.0,0.0,0.06150878157892201,0.0,0.06845865026416934,0.09658742960957753,0.0,0.0,0.0788095898779783,0.0803637544189721,0.0,0.07291107049668921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17324554599414402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10031578012722736,0.06317261190824534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926976192682702,0.0,0.07143619844403258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05753506159321621,0.0,0.0,0.057653019337903885,0.0658640789966217,0.15095218255514195,0.0,0.0,0.05984808271463879,0.08132363652363524,0.0,0.07375099293891081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15362760565953235,0.0,0.1155564775168902,0.12097449688396625,0.08287587056145879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06818835232905099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04635850554678219,0.0,0.0,0.1687498180044112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982408414784615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06248655965292897,0.0,0.0,0.08534697490279837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301014062157458,0.06706851934453323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3686980282931308,0.0,0.0,0.0513948618656332,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,getyourpotassium,2019/10/10,"How many times were you hospitalized? I was hospitalized twice: once when I was 16 for depression and earlier this year for mania at 18 (19 now). I first got my bipolar diagnosis after as I was hospitalized at 16 but didn't believe it, so I didn't take any medication. But after that manic episode it was obvious that I did have bipolar.

I'm stable now but I have this worry that I will end up back in a hospital again. But I try to tell myself if I do then I do, and I'll then get stable again eventually.",3.0042307692307686,4.311914807692311,5.478076923076923,78.94192307692309,74.0,9.046153846153846,26.461538461538463,9.516144504307137,2.2954269230769238,396,14,83,10,8,141,65,104,0.07200000000000001,0.87,0.057999999999999996,-0.321,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,8,1,0,0,1,0,13,3,0,1,1,9,17,13,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,9,0,14,0,10,7,0,18,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,1,14,64,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19438541881300156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21979831053844195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220511144954272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461991674392737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253175150990311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431408827711237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149342995849941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22861755476574924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898034807259897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879602713123305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30441718834100484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21492099033636425,0.0,0.2498424359772456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16667939005317714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19407100676710407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902909911693029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18407577104723694
bipolarreddit,SammyGreen,2019/10/10,"Has anyone gone through a breakup while in a psych ward? I feel so fucking destroyed. I had a break down on Saturday, had a fight on Sunday and committed myself for the first time ever on Monday. My ex broke up with my last night. She was supposed to move in tomorrow.

My ex and I had spent the last month getting my apartment ready for her to move in. New furniture, layout, everything. It’s no longer “my” apartment. It’s “ours”. And I can’t face going back there when I get out.

I asked if she would have still broken up with me if I hadn’t committed myself. She answered “...we would’ve broken up in the future when we realized we weren’t right for each other.

She made the right decision for herself but I’m swinging so fucking hard. I hate this place so much. Everything hurts.",1.6649525616698284,4.094198258064516,2.8110436432637584,91.14833017077801,82.5483870967742,5.969639468690702,22.66603415559772,7.285733465282438,0.914244781783681,610,21,124,9,17,195,96,155,0.161,0.8079999999999999,0.032,-0.9628,1,0,0,0,1,0,21.0,4,0,0,1,9,7,5,0,8,0,10,3,1,1,3,22,22,12,0,3,3,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,10,0,0,4,0,1,4,4,7,0,1,9,2,26,0,21,12,2,40,0,2,0,2,14,17,2,2,18,89,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207686265698756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16321738047203035,0.0,0.0,0.13424835611905284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792597160153615,0.0,0.0,0.31381911975277205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827757037033299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14850552644102266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32280989574960955,0.1824313539229193,0.0,0.0992230939052128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15639767473412527,0.17237073856341442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869014025371436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846270809285664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16520056927422572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935547327725722,0.3711214843708964,0.12834318688357976,0.0,0.0,0.16861938510757207,0.0,0.16384018366146427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18240860630644495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981965302777016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394272001817867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180439539662378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480463872778583,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,itsbudgie,2019/10/10,Going through divorce and I don't care is this normal I have just come out of a uk hospital having been in for 3 weeks to find out that my wife cheated on me we've been together for 15 years. The problem is I don't  care I have no emotions just manic. I told my doctor yesterday and her response to up my dose of quiterpine. I don't no if this is normal for people with bipolar or should I be worried that it will all come crashing down around me at a later day,0.7899999999999991,2.770035525252524,2.8124141414141413,92.53195454545455,82.63636363636364,5.172121212121212,23.03131313131313,6.2581,0.4603810101010102,363,13,79,3,10,122,68,99,0.141,0.8190000000000001,0.04,-0.8651,0,0,0,0,1,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,3,0,14,3,0,0,1,18,20,4,0,5,4,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,1,0,0,3,5,2,0,0,3,0,13,2,17,14,1,16,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,2,5,61,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988360171698577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4554568314667041,0.0,0.0,0.3848063613585097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14404746286030762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286164263817433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512477405680297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041452091880336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12693952583496915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43768692681814203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15484834692157776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137234865510396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21342818644148706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17916435316999824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22683093956638126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14383525968154864
bipolarreddit,himejirocks,2019/10/10,"I had great links found here before about what spouses need to know, but I lost them. Can you help? They were some lists, pages, and a good video page on Youtube but I can't find where I saved them and I don't know why I didn't subscribe to the channel but here we are. Any resources you have would be great. Thanks!",0.2504545454545486,2.5286673030303035,0.3214393939393965,107.4521590909091,88.0909090909091,3.3000000000000003,15.825757575757574,3.1291,-1.5352969696969692,246,5,61,0,8,71,50,66,0.08,0.6559999999999999,0.264,0.9412,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,2,3,1,4,6,0,0,2,0,10,0,0,0,0,15,16,5,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,0,12,5,4,9,3,2,0,1,0,0,8,2,0,1,0,38,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17948570209845147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22459031060185194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24123295269102865,0.0,0.0,0.2893924771366409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22137720578069095,0.0,0.5819812991446368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769109061572085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2901049231053913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.288117597417017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19570538651068856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429970398589908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23816141474390426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874927406975504,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Mawlina95,2019/10/10,"Paranoid delusions Has anyone ever experienced delusions during a psychotic episode, then later in life while unfortunately having another psychotic episode.. having the same delusions/ similar?
This time I am aware it’s an episode and it’s in my head. I’m aware the things I feel and hear are in my head. But it is so real! I can’t take it. This is worse than the first time, because I didn’t know I was in psychosis, this time I do! I recognize that these thoughts and voices and interpretations are not rational.. but they won’t stop and its getting harder and harder to convince myself in my head that it’s not real it’s ok, I’m ok, it’s just my mind playing tricks
I always ask someone in my family for reassurance, to confirm that yeah it’s in my mind .. did u hear that? Are u sure? What’s going on I can hear someone saying my name!! Why are you yelling! When I know they’re not yelling but my ears seem to be so sensitive and ringing .. if someone says something across the house it sounds like they’re screaming in my head and I’m sooo irritable I can’t do thisss but I know it’s just in my mind .. I am worried I’ll get lost in it and I got prescribed new meds today.. too paranoid to take them cuz I don’t wanna die lol for real 6 new meds and I don’t trust like this is a family physician not a psychiatrist what if he made a mistake idk like I just won’t take anything the second I do I can feel my body go cold feet tingly my heart is pounding sharp pains in my chest and I convince myself I’m gonna die and I don’t want to die but i hate all the NOISE I can’t ignore it anymore I’m going insane someone help me to find a way to cope and ignore these intrusive thoughts and paranoid delusions cuz it’s been 5 days since the voices came back and everyday they’re louder and louder and they’re confident they’re here to stay ..",0.6497655360801318,3.0167050942408373,2.5377008877760083,91.659490097883,87.06282722513089,5.311267926246302,21.655133166401097,6.800593979768761,0.5624136580924199,1454,51,309,19,46,482,174,382,0.183,0.71,0.107,-0.9843,0,0,1,0,2,2,32.0,0,1,2,2,11,19,2,0,13,4,31,12,9,3,3,62,63,31,3,5,14,0,3,3,0,3,3,13,0,0,27,18,0,3,10,1,0,4,13,8,0,2,10,18,42,11,25,49,2,35,0,1,0,0,13,13,0,3,19,185,69,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154239786115463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015771594947396,0.0,0.0,0.08526923544045911,0.06011934130781859,0.0,0.07075436252231823,0.0,0.08037986224742172,0.0,0.0,0.06611345152449284,0.0,0.05241271996174969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550459763321996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983384210507707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05545010342592377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677015583546701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777399567319376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16210892417202605,0.0,0.08694832529946649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858432726691576,0.07313469756583793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984219116571195,0.0,0.14659355388743145,0.0,0.06876620474300663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488762766038797,0.3529618816880955,0.0,0.2907177366412828,0.10188692780898052,0.057630702569689676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09920958431667204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417573757942814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06073034418624886,0.12601671942026824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385752366831752,0.0,0.0,0.08135652565342713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19100919526643995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604464161737812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16608038810565526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914889740498336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2935928064196263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13674978096756085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827312708986582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112369376102567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914029115084978,0.06619174352021556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09164343233024526,0.0,0.0718832807919242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810353025383399,0.0,0.1939391859936168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057121411401127524,0.0,0.0,0.13651731839227813,0.1504072039600884,0.0,0.08149915766582176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050713338097728336,0.06824706519142514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758373949249704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731704682194111,0.08762114936854568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,littlecakemonster,2019/10/10,biphasic sleep cycle? I'm wondering if anyone with bipolar disorder has tried this? My partner's working overnights now so we have pretty much opposite sleep schedules - I want to be able to spend more time together and it occurred to me that a biphasic sleep pattern might help. However I find that messing with my circadian rhythm is an easy way to induce some kind of episode... Has anyone tried this? What was your experience with it?,4.4938291139240505,7.401845518987348,4.542262658227848,80.08529272151901,74.82278481012658,7.494303797468352,32.65981012658228,8.472884824447931,3.0450873417721516,352,18,58,7,8,109,62,79,0.033,0.831,0.136,0.8236,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,7,4,3,1,0,12,10,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,7,1,8,7,3,5,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,4,4,38,14,1,0.20337692156186807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28441174461003704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23308757186007084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19894165425908392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858828218239554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363192635214047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117857673227982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21575077438872975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495054381964885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20690744455152735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6105713938270492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185907184766043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761591594575205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995697765153145,0.1614311339193251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22055359595520646,0.1480608211044853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Meteorcousin,2019/10/10,"Lithium users I take 900 of lithium. It was 750, but after asking for antidepressant my dr. Insisted on raising lithium so I’d be more stable. “Stable in depression” I said. Eventually she prescribed what I asked for, Wellbutrin which helped a lot, but I feel numb. LITHIUM NUMB. 

I’m not excited I’m not sad, I just broke up with a 2+ year girlfriend and I feel very little. Sometimes sad enough to cry shortly but once it’s out of my system it’s gone. 

Can anyone commiserate ? I’m working on getting off addictive meds so lithium is on the back burner with this new dr. I feel no benefit from the increased dose.",1.0571617647058815,3.674064941666668,2.9946078431372563,86.1652941176471,91.25,5.4901960784313735,25.39215686274509,7.048011613610866,1.5205686274509795,483,22,90,8,17,161,83,120,0.161,0.6709999999999999,0.168,-0.0223,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,4,8,0,0,4,0,4,6,0,0,0,14,16,6,0,0,6,0,3,0,1,0,6,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,3,0,0,2,3,6,0,0,3,4,10,2,16,12,4,16,0,4,0,0,6,9,0,1,4,54,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384259508056891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15292696845364534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4089282547286059,0.0,0.0,0.1681743261936378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402424313992375,0.0,0.0,0.188374419221448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259856749705545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3317587196794408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426683688913268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465965601437848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21920466387926887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859392399263131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429372689672849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112312753275264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23291878543377784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20804309164759727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163095719179845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644425411921713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804584795671916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592233298896433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084193226330186
bipolarreddit,musicandhorror,2019/08/02,"Seroquel Weight Gain Hi, I'm new to Reddit but I have a serious question, I have been on 100 mg of Seroquel for over 5 years now and started out weighing around 130 something but now I am up to around 180. I know that Seroquel can cause weight gain in a lot of people. Also I started drinking beer a lot more too and eating so much cause I was always hungry never satisfied and the numbness and lack of motivation from taking Seroquel made me lazy so I said I've had enough and slowly  tapered down to 50 mg. As of now I'm at 50 mg of Seroquel and have noticed that I have more energy, not craving food or alcohol, having some trouble sleeping but not too bad. If anyone who has taken Seroquel and gained weight from it and is tappering down like me could you please let me know if you lost the weight and how long did it take you to loose it once you started tappering? I really hope I lose this weight soon  Btw I'm a female 27 and only 5ft 3",3.5047472527472543,4.508874071794871,4.6677838827838825,86.40519230769233,72.38461538461539,7.212454212454213,26.749084249084248,7.447530270364453,1.328062271062271,744,25,154,8,14,245,117,195,0.125,0.731,0.14400000000000002,0.713,0,0,4,0,0,0,9.0,0,4,0,6,12,8,0,0,6,0,15,13,1,5,1,36,30,21,0,5,8,0,5,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,7,13,11,0,4,2,0,0,3,6,0,0,8,6,17,2,23,20,8,21,0,2,0,0,8,10,0,8,12,105,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808966691910378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836589125739422,0.09194389594663464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726336587590965,0.0,0.0,0.1967348090912299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922619250812754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270255166622292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822434118493468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10824680667073544,0.0,0.11306791068595975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417485133275815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336156492947743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975029164820807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145455747786088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129925617182409,0.0,0.053984157107322316,0.0,0.0,0.0977880059774857,0.0,0.12361994980628062,0.12062254897741152,0.18788434336184373,0.0,0.10455668460785486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812293696777657,0.0,0.08522352596287623,0.10672047889978717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580367429453884,0.0,0.11767767006901322,0.0,0.08403935548755061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07660599021072953,0.0,0.0,0.12129455626362153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12378400201884245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07078839346328981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105109711324697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057865199227457,0.0,0.0,0.08506741401875073,0.0,0.0,0.23463496650927626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16616276846612946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6727891600362876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115763722490882
bipolarreddit,Flummoxor,2019/07/05,"Equal opportunity questions I'm looking for a job and a lot of them ask equal opportunity questions like race, gender, veteran status, along with disability status. Bipolar is listed as a disability. I don't want to answer that I have a disability but if I answer the other questions and put ""I don't wish to answer"" on the disability one then I might as well say I'm disabled. What should I do?",4.425043859649122,6.233793171052637,6.73947368421053,69.30464912280705,71.23684210526315,8.750877192982456,29.771929824561404,9.2995712137729,2.877208771929825,315,13,55,7,6,112,48,76,0.057999999999999996,0.8240000000000001,0.11900000000000001,0.4943,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,2,1,4,0,0,6,0,7,1,0,0,0,17,13,7,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,2,7,4,9,11,3,3,0,0,1,0,6,1,0,6,2,42,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20634722518224333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190345974239858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10783463938973407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18535264175814034,0.0,0.0,0.18765172505262015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23415337488654614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14956835329969456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218886711904186,0.7417844753998835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17552865268714032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13018878489718802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984574615319851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25382180624462003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rootlessnafshi,2019/07/05,Depression vs bipolar? I have been dealing with depression for the past year. I have had multiple depressive episodes. Up until now I thought it was just depression but now I am starting to think it may be bipolar. I’m seeing a doctor abt it soon. Anyways— can people that know let me know  abt the similarities and differences between the two? (Depression and manic depression/bipolar) ?,4.292058823529408,7.523542617647061,5.0779411764705875,73.79573529411766,78.70588235294119,8.694117647058821,34.97058823529412,9.188382445141503,4.280317647058823,310,18,47,9,8,100,49,68,0.141,0.8590000000000001,0.0,-0.8121,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,4,0,10,3,0,0,0,11,17,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,4,1,5,0,6,10,0,8,0,5,1,0,1,1,0,1,7,37,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19164402768436248,0.8005322525530888,0.0,0.0,0.1942150800520496,0.0,0.1902658947964296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20432013874803195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19008472277357605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17745266859261752,0.12887245134164485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481299536304226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13157362420935068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911055753685015,0.0,0.1475755879321841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18158714019965028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11970681555877966
bipolarreddit,arealgardengnome,2019/07/05,"How to I forgive myself for old mistakes? So about a year ago when I was super depressed and probably hypomanic I deleted pretty much all old classmates from snapchat because I was oversharing and generally felt super angry and upset at the lack of friends and care shown to me towards everyone.  I was embarrassed about how I was feeling and what I was going through and instead of lashing out just decided to go off the grid. 

I didn’t “ghost” anyone really.. I made several post about how I was deleting old classmates, old friends and acquaintances included before I went ahead and cleared out the app and just continued on. There were a couple people I felt bad for deleting off of there, but also reasoned that if they wanted to talk or check in on me (my mental health issues were a secret to no one) they’d check on me and all that, especially because I’m on instagram (though not currently active).



I’m interested in logging back onto social media due to being a film major and wanting to be able to promote my work going forward into my first year at uni as a junior, but feel a twinge of shame and embarrassment when I see everyone I use to know or talk too occasionally that I just dropped off on. I considered making a new instagram completely but that might be a hassle in terms of gaining followers since I currently don’t know anyone.

I know the nature of this illness causes great isolation but I feel like its time to reclaim my life and mistakes and can’t currently forgive myself for how mixed up and confused everything was during that time. I just feel badly about things though I know some people probably don’t care, but I can’t help but ponder on if I hurt anyone while I was hurting. 

I’m just not sure how to forgive myself and move on without feeling the guilt and shame that I do.",9.080101156069363,7.421010789017341,9.04317196531792,68.74400650289017,61.05202312138728,11.886994219653179,39.54407514450868,10.686352973137794,4.249081502890173,1447,62,252,28,16,475,176,346,0.156,0.701,0.14300000000000002,-0.7851,4,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,7,25,27,0,7,13,0,21,3,0,10,4,78,48,40,1,7,18,0,7,1,2,1,3,0,0,0,10,20,0,0,18,1,2,7,9,14,0,2,15,8,37,13,50,28,7,52,0,3,1,0,12,22,0,7,24,189,47,3,0.0958536591125386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849684853244205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07665413656132393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20106932148021295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370554716426958,0.16006760309790766,0.11686300182701068,0.0,0.08156440394918442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19545838755346506,0.0984681120141786,0.0,0.0,0.10050073788731563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606025064228966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825586161378869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18318455800069836,0.08614708813073058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423324506375195,0.06847787322246426,0.18406908921817447,0.0,0.0,0.08153307347426088,0.0,0.0,0.14811259851013048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634275302662903,0.0,0.0,0.10567899756471702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188795731745284,0.0,0.0,0.06424868719471742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052266491450094,0.0,0.0,0.10004631655102383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21071465703400752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770427416066184,0.04682925608704688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069904989680204,0.06398306177348079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659794336420968,0.10168558469025914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10187727008632894,0.07046346851108905,0.0,0.0,0.092576061272846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4023291636703951,0.0,0.06495292012685211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13290571625479616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09180130903113994,0.09751763132994104,0.2066929133443421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06140630850071006,0.09855352597207116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638295609761228,0.0,0.0,0.10828735113783937,0.0,0.07929113734227411,0.0,0.0,0.0977107343293037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903409393321079,0.0,0.0,0.1540870806451676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368091190271201,0.0,0.18835146680491924,0.0,0.1117860789264574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278678545327396,0.0,0.0,0.1130739432544953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885730231404036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239950683868507,0.0,0.06978260544549829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345322756562788
bipolarreddit,Dongo-the-Dommed,2019/07/05,"Is it actually possible to keep normal sleep hours? I can get 8 hours a night (thanks Seroquel) but I can't do it within normal hours. Every day I swear I'm going to go to bed by midnight and get up by 9am. I just can't do it. I'm most widely awake around 1am and stay very alert until about 4am. Even if I skip a day's sleep trying to readjust I'll still get the energy at night and can't sleep until the wee hours. Sometimes my psych appointment is at 9am and I didn't go to sleep until 5am so I get up and I'm tired for the rest of the day and think ""this time will be different, I'll be sleepy by midnight"" - but nope!

Do I have to use sleeping tablets to control my sleep? I don't want to.",0.22089511754068525,1.5615888291139228,2.7025678119349017,95.78759493670887,81.59493670886077,5.780108499095843,18.88065099457505,6.5431188927421005,-0.20530705244123001,537,12,136,5,14,186,84,158,0.052000000000000005,0.9059999999999999,0.043,0.2636,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,6,0,15,7,6,2,0,19,30,13,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,4,7,0,2,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,0,1,0,11,1,23,26,2,25,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,2,14,75,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.10574840696833664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964676411788712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12154033072544256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096589816732881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11321814528136498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157392431179739,0.0,0.09130201253674572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264645287363441,0.0,0.1847586288031956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4268699739872233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09631960781734283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033860363534149,0.2123489798576395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12216502293350605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6506583215268663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717555197816438,0.0,0.0,0.11550245182783753,0.08654026433289916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976774288916647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06943578430746664,0.0,0.0,0.06318838272867845,0.1245493894020762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357258175847257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359238886158586,0.0,0.08941230378879049,0.0639163630357452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,stonedgrapefruit,2019/07/05,"I dont really have anyone to talk to right now and I dont know what to do. Currently diagnosed Bipolar 1, PTSD and GAD.


I've been feeling pretty awful for the past month or so. Maybe a little longer. I've had a lot of problems with derealization, happening at least once a day, if not all day. Suicidal thoughts have been happening once a day except for a day here or there. And at this point I really just want to die. I dont want to fell like this anymore and I dont want to put my family and friends through having to deal with me. 

I've been trying my hardest to get on the right medications, take them as prescribed, sleep well and eat well and I still feel like garbage. I know going to the hospital is an option, but I honestly can not afford it. I can't risk losing my job at this point. 

I'm completely lost on what to do from here. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow that I'm going to have to reschedule, I can't take off work for it. I'm going to try to reschedule asap, but I have a feeling it wont be untill monday at the earliest. 

I'm not even sure what the sense of even posting this is. I want to figure out the best way to make it so no one has to deal with me anymore.",1.8773809523809533,3.339708484126988,3.886825396825397,88.56928571428574,77.25396825396825,7.339682539682538,23.507936507936506,8.11559375814309,1.1664793650793657,926,29,207,16,21,316,129,252,0.064,0.7879999999999999,0.14800000000000002,0.9279999999999999,3,0,0,0,0,1,24.0,0,0,1,4,12,12,0,1,14,1,24,6,1,1,2,38,48,16,2,6,10,0,3,2,1,1,4,0,0,0,12,11,1,0,7,0,0,5,11,4,2,1,6,3,19,8,38,40,4,32,0,2,0,0,5,13,0,5,14,140,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937190943816872,0.0682911268807283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10249562541707792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240212567701283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25194887144359285,0.2013810411598899,0.0,0.0991300792017534,0.10136305937531354,0.0,0.0,0.09996644417855116,0.0,0.0,0.4578605872495,0.0,0.0,0.0999378547291747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901643405323288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920718762739542,0.0,0.14815030369404147,0.06977341586967961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754573809397751,0.0,0.05102704339961192,0.0,0.16651943901324007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17273343775595387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691955441003314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10735059883728697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543045091994357,0.09788812048781388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926453412304928,0.10661520765382124,0.08303309974893668,0.0,0.0,0.06519356644201313,0.0,0.09811975758726864,0.0,0.0,0.09838935651446636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795696989560855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080246079524516,0.06618177368385632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932343250910973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846540098267424,0.0,0.09353811108592423,0.09936258130134164,0.0,0.09345425141181364,0.1141676462987454,0.09818243963889307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12513612641335184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16681438760272596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773766218821764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779970947073982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683198618664702,0.0,0.09205011244433364,0.0,0.14686705109894266,0.07850113804697717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753679023202631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261913795892705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304264106184966,0.07752362029985888,0.0,0.0,0.17562895512615476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110283250767267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,phineasQ,2019/06/15,"In the hospital due to identity crisis, how do I convince them it's the identity crisis they don't think it could be? I'm in the states, which almost universally has legislation which guarantees involuntary commitment to the hospital, based on a loophole in unconstitutional by executive highway legislation. Advice, i'm under duress?",11.116904761904765,11.593428785714288,11.918571428571427,42.85976190476194,55.78571428571429,16.038095238095238,45.45238095238096,14.554592549557764,7.764459523809522,276,15,36,12,3,96,40,56,0.145,0.778,0.078,-0.7149,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,5,0,0,1,1,5,8,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,8,6,0,7,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,1,26,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5636489782773596,0.0,0.0,0.5775887408712942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4605333346625038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3695945391509941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,GloomyComfort,2019/06/15,"Questioning gender identity New account because my friends know my reddit account.

​

After many years of titration I'm finally at a good place. I honestly didn't realize I was depressed as I was so used to just feeling...blegh all the time. But now, interesting things are happening. A little too interesting to be honest.

​

For years I have daydreamed of being a woman. I chalked it up to being a ""grass it greener"" scenario. I wasn't feeling great so let's imagine something completely different to escape. But now...it's kicked up a notch. I've gone from idly daydreaming to actively changing my habits and appearance (nothing permanent atm).

​

I like their clothes. They're so much more varied and interesting than guy clothes and I really like how I look in a dress.

​

I like the idea of wearing makeup and I'm learning to put it on. Changing the presentation of my face to match my mood or setting or outfit is something I'm so envious of that it's not socially acceptable as a man.

​

I hate having facial and body hair. I don't think it looks good on me at all. Especially because I have very light skin and darker hair so at best I have a five o'clock shadow.

​

I just..don't like my body, nor do I like the gender roles it comes with. But I have read stories of bipolar people getting into a manic state and being so sure they were transgender, only to come back down and go ""wtf was that about?!"" I really hope that's what's happening to me.

​

But I don't \*\*feel\*\* manic.

​

I'm sleeping 8 hours a night. I don't have pressured or fast speech. I'm not unusually distracted, but I have ADHD so who the hell can tell. I don't have racing thoughts. And I'm not hyper-sexual. The only real change in my sexuality is slipping a bit from heteroflexible towards bisexual and that's only because I'm less attracted to women now than I am envious of them.

​

I was really hoping this was it. Sort out my meds and I'm set for life. And now...I just don't know.

​

I suppose the upside to this is that getting back into meditation, practicing voice feminization, trying new clothes, learning to use makeup, and taking better care of myself is providing new hobbies rather than just getting stoned, laying on the couch, and watching Netflix. So there's that.

​

Honestly, at this point, I just want to know if these feelings are genuine or are a byproduct of faulty chemical signals in my brain. Not being able to tell is what's really eating at me. My one solace is that my sister has been there for me through this whole thing.

​

I need to talk to my psychiatrist/therapist about this but I just needed to vent, and hopefully get some input from other people that have gone through this.",3.80720532319392,6.3257807547528575,4.754625095057033,79.71157262357417,75.10266159695817,7.477961977186311,29.341292775665398,8.426882951386363,2.5196854448669197,2231,99,384,43,50,724,253,526,0.051,0.8220000000000001,0.127,0.9818,1,0,2,0,0,0,125.0,0,0,3,2,24,32,4,2,20,0,42,13,10,3,3,73,83,38,0,8,21,1,6,5,1,0,2,2,1,4,28,21,1,0,15,2,3,7,12,7,0,2,12,12,48,24,61,65,9,48,1,1,3,0,16,21,1,12,22,262,76,4,0.037007402116088085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044475705715388135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4811700567750258,0.539616530796755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05691281579333295,0.0,0.0676781065190384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03883698534556383,0.03273003979704625,0.04040249827765365,0.08221376205872692,0.0,0.041312499844261066,0.0,0.0,0.03773151287141144,0.0,0.11744677329724597,0.06375720012736721,0.038801557023428655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03187442121510914,0.0,0.0,0.03866485858728494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037867811272824736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05613616337373585,0.0,0.0,0.040539800110649886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02859182707405953,0.0,0.07733936072584728,0.0,0.021032159458489297,0.06208010618134752,0.0,0.040800791480593485,0.0,0.03664314639039958,0.06545104694486867,0.0,0.0,0.0365371479235122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11027010155378833,0.03644483651087197,0.0,0.0,0.041776852432596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06101490112747598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03784257599190489,0.0261394225534968,0.09039973678917763,0.037091139113695035,0.0,0.0,0.062153794450245214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03751969720427016,0.0,0.0,0.04110688102936346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027204698681587158,0.054881039499979564,0.0,0.1072259387143104,0.0,0.03472893993577693,0.0,0.035509600425541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025077173432955933,0.0844373907800766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05131254592162523,0.0,0.03866485858728494,0.0,0.034983956849176344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037202660639719866,0.04145675991186899,0.0,0.03701741684467698,0.04212252555951152,0.09483155769702158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037034128419309205,0.03772438600530988,0.0,0.05698021233409605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034879038529798824,0.0,0.0278249607632787,0.029745148005434287,0.0646922012334743,0.0,0.0,0.04296844620204718,0.04917214711930739,0.02371284898258535,0.0,0.029379743513243812,0.021579313779535314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025125596807149056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06392502670285348,0.0,0.030534982474456462,0.021827924596795337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04131744285209142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.539616530796755,0.04766310725484337
bipolarreddit,eiligh,2019/04/03,"University Advice/Info Hey there. I was diagnosed with BP1 last August following a psychotic episode and hospitalization following. 

I was supposed to be starting my last year at university then, but have taken a health leave to focus on getting better/stable and finding the right medications without the added stress of school. 

I’ve been in /some/ contact with my counselor, and the school’s health leave advisor. One of my next steps is filing the necessary documents for accommodations. 

That being said, I want ask about two things: do you have any advice/what was your experience studying and managing your diagnosis? Second, more specifically, were there any accommodations you were able to receive, what were they/any recommendations on any?

Thanks so much in advance for any responses. Even though I still have some time before returning, I’m pretty nervous about it. I’ve already had a few semesters prior to being diagnosed where I was clearly severely depressed and totally failed most of the classes I was in, so I’d like to avoid any repeats of that. 


TL;DR going back to school soon with new diagnosis, looking to hear your experience with school and/or any advice you can offer. Thank you!!",7.216057692307693,9.569858490384616,7.06653846153846,67.55346153846155,65.05769230769229,10.007692307692311,34.153846153846146,10.270032843473604,4.056965384615385,978,44,147,25,16,310,131,208,0.09699999999999999,0.795,0.10800000000000001,0.5603,0,1,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,7,0,2,12,8,0,3,8,0,19,5,0,0,2,19,33,10,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,5,9,0,1,1,0,0,6,1,5,0,3,12,3,16,3,26,18,7,29,0,2,1,0,14,8,0,3,16,101,21,7,0.1066709362764124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423760436628796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11771403072188573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5077792619916001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972292590051854,0.0,0.0,0.08202336559261772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076911008553136,0.0,0.0,0.0943417746147975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187552110841993,0.2165375098299798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045514737301024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20868928845241871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749530324969062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05573116152389211,0.0,0.06062355131857632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267724342079317,0.12022589779102308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17390210049097254,0.0,0.2258982388988394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05211403130754075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957672071038332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745974594681756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841541187839904,0.0,0.0,0.10302345496443584,0.11344575088535193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07228298708642641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852269108693938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910963967399625,0.10146848779748467,0.0,0.0,0.431826729604887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050779531748684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550223772874062,0.0,0.08518754750280866,0.0,0.12219119710115732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964165328621004,0.0,0.0,0.07086743018983452,0.0,0.10480365329364963,0.0,0.06220068076772214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10420200484879392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291728196448762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282697600922364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06869258561798562
bipolarreddit,Papakotsos,2019/04/03,"Reality is more than what it seems.  

I feel like I know what's up

but there's a law I can't break

The law is to play along no matter what

everyone will say otherwise

they'll keep you feeling like you are right

but reminding you that you can't do nothing about it

Theyll log on to reddit and tell you to get help

You tell them I don't need help I can manage

All Im waiting for is the one who is ready

and that one is not apart from me

this is really personal

If it touched someone please respond

but not in a critical, assertive way

this is a poem and im high

if you seem to understand then tell me your story",0.6306371986222707,2.434820559701496,2.6956716417910482,94.09508036739382,82.2089552238806,6.5111366245694615,20.755453501722158,7.61054688173877,0.5524013777267509,481,14,115,8,13,162,84,134,0.021,0.782,0.19699999999999998,0.968,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,8,3,0,2,3,0,0,5,0,16,0,0,0,1,24,26,9,0,3,7,0,3,2,0,3,0,1,0,1,11,4,0,2,6,1,0,0,6,0,0,2,0,4,18,3,12,23,2,9,0,0,0,0,20,6,0,4,3,77,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16497837112240196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17459817972702893,0.2466882166372437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09020463008456192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314527791168249,0.1824185135094462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3729920651615272,0.0,0.0,0.15346287812108253,0.0,0.0,0.09488616635730183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16870012351336666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12802081166149054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16566624501544522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339897440947111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507548819394287,0.0,0.18952233136188454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11060662387326592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744563984086398,0.0,0.13730145320666995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31435557762299604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462892405957944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4527218244516459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17973898489606782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704477128333856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,curious_one13,2019/04/03,"Lithium poisoning after fasting???? Okay so I’m 23 and I’ve been on lithium for 2 years now. I had lithium toxicity last year after a manic episode (I have bipolar 1) my psychiatrist at the time did not take into account my very small body weight 80 pounds, and increased my lithium to a toxic amount. Within 3 days of being on the high dose of lithium I was hospitalized with lithium poisoning. I did not even realize I had lithium poisoning. I developed a tremor and had an urgency to urinate but that was it. No other symptoms. Since then I have been very careful with lithium. 

However I just ended a fast of 5 days. I had been taking my lithium 300 mg twice a day like directed with no issues. Last night I took my 2nd dose for the day and got sick a few hours later. I feel very odd I guess?? I feel nauseous and I have a slight tremor. Could it be lithium poisoning??! Any other symptoms I should watch out for??? How long do I have until this is serious, serious??? Should I just go by and get my levels checked just in case??? Any advice??? ",1.2802439024390253,3.82357312195122,3.2645853658536588,86.26224390243904,86.07317073170731,6.011707317073171,25.27317073170732,7.404127859558343,1.5435034146341464,810,35,156,14,25,272,120,205,0.126,0.831,0.044000000000000004,-0.9451,1,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,0,7,9,4,0,11,1,22,13,2,1,0,25,33,11,0,3,6,0,3,1,0,2,10,0,0,0,6,11,1,0,3,0,2,3,4,6,0,1,13,4,23,3,22,15,3,34,0,0,1,0,0,10,0,1,22,105,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14917850479279093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076293498033076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16957189059509006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15564800375021998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218873393191599,0.0,0.0,0.3938147106901812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352122816296254,0.0,0.0,0.1008311118042216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15437991751696498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975904086671992,0.0,0.08676073088896817,0.0,0.1220969004246621,0.0,0.16817323774714674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16129466591910893,0.0,0.0,0.1503402757597448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15933835993065212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24887808473041945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458242461007622,0.0,0.0,0.13510012889682155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432619516685382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262827080166476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3173463412265505,0.2295640576084073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890178224109635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696119226652219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3778837930162737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858998991393971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196617281740908
bipolarreddit,TimeTravelJulie,2019/04/03,Have Latuda side effects pushed anyone into a hypomanic state? So I’ve been on Latuda for 2 weeks no problems. I went from 20mg to 30mg. Been at 30 for 5 days then suddenly I have shortness of breath. It started about an hour after I took the dose. It really freaked me out—I think it pushed me into a hypomanic state. I haven’t slept all night and I just want to get up and get some writing work done. I’m calling my Doc when the office opens in about 15 min. ,0.7720408163265304,2.7795384489795936,2.8013877551020414,92.43289795918369,82.87755102040815,5.552653061224492,20.00408163265305,6.742157984588678,0.17407020408163287,360,10,81,4,10,121,71,98,0.084,0.9009999999999999,0.015,-0.7264,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,7,2,0,0,5,0,6,3,2,1,1,13,15,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,0,0,4,2,2,0,0,6,0,8,0,15,9,2,25,0,0,0,0,2,9,0,1,10,46,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20364062776249772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29738692039806275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18782464387516531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980379504996249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3043200376209803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868111118061619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27330746488211594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786757708335105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18657474625575016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20614000496139226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866137766527793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3235765257803172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17177992608528653,0.0,0.23361383922404344,0.0,0.0,0.2699808706465535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21202498932024916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LowPhotojournalist6,2019/04/03,"Can someone help me? Venlafaxin + Lithium Hi!  I have a major depression disorder, and I'm taking antidepressant meds for 4 years (3 years of Escitalopram (Lexapro)  and, since last year, a growing dose of Venlafaxin (Venlift)). Sadly, the antidepressants done nothing about my mood, so my psychiatrist considered the possibility of me suffering from bipolar II disorder.  She prescribed me 300mg of Lithium, sticking with the venlafaxin.

Has anyone had a similar experience? What should I expect? The Li will stabilize my mood and finally the venlafaxin (Now in 225mg) will do its job properly?

​

Thanks in advance! ",6.115895851721093,9.582355417475732,6.964730803177407,61.80663724624893,72.49514563106796,11.124095322153575,39.46072374227714,10.637119530657019,6.004774757281552,500,31,68,19,11,165,76,103,0.152,0.7809999999999999,0.067,-0.8819,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,8,0,9,2,0,0,0,6,12,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,2,0,9,1,10,7,1,10,0,3,0,0,3,2,0,0,6,43,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21295443517471047,0.23882145596705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13742754954132447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692823384367342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4505109853770288,0.0,0.0,0.20113189424681646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19225692725179014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21530342829364196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317387393176138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19503876233394896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16020891024624556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21831514679214686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885884658555062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215728853159304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16258253559132355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16653038434326686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14777599860183271,0.0,0.0,0.1809505382358306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23882145596705,0.3797020594731352
bipolarreddit,soykitsch,2019/04/03,"I don’t care to improve any aspect of my life. Can’t solve any kind of problem. I feel hopeless, nothing is interesting. But still go  every day to class at university and other tasks. Seems like I am going by routine, not questioning anything at all and making no effort at all.
I want to have a boyfriend but can’t think of looking for one and I’m not responsive. 
For example, it’s been a month since the bathroom’s lighting stopped working. I don’t care to fix it, I haven’t even called anyone to fix it. 
Is this depression? I’m 30 years old and I think I’m too old now and it’s worthless to try having a better life. 
So, yes it is depression, a new kind of depression I’ve never experienced. ",1.6937162837162845,3.7939972377622375,3.6593056943056936,87.01994755244756,80.11888111888112,6.603196803196802,25.5989010989011,7.7094869923839395,1.4620593406593403,547,22,113,9,14,185,86,143,0.218,0.644,0.138,-0.9489,0,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,3,5,13,0,0,5,1,12,2,0,1,3,21,26,8,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,5,0,0,2,9,6,0,1,1,4,8,7,16,25,2,15,0,5,1,0,2,3,0,2,11,67,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20771610598971016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10678868166777178,0.0,0.12567943912285226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13507261191407374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15594902413867018,0.0,0.3114260799322935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09849481571791446,0.0,0.3946247563526671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087324324054868,0.0,0.1286771712956463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722221193683518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17359396626873747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3180786070478039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157479856498734,0.07461358825210447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825030780321148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194494265297473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12190342175061535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779072632263216,0.14750249512770594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14654349665458646,0.0,0.3205178244142535,0.0,0.103490229037768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14613693989771293,0.0,0.0,0.17108664937511506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13903485750356465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263354741894767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219661660037695,0.12768471215311755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19571967940539103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10369006599704196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008100223021052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118542178400463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834971831340904
bipolarreddit,Jellybean26,2019/07/31,"I’m scared I have Bipolar Hey,

First off, I am so sorry, I bet you get loads of people on here asking the same question. 

My issue is, I am terrified to admit I might have bipolar, historically I’ve avoided the whole thing. I’ll keep this brief. 

The reason I think this is because my moods are completely unstable. I’ll have a few months of extreme euphoria, impulsive spending, I’ll feel so so happy I don’t even know what to do with the excess energy. I’ll talk too much, go shopping a lot, feel like I can accomplish any task presented to me. Other times I have cycles of pervasive, chronic sadness. I feel completely deflated where I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to go anywhere and I feel like I am helpless. My ability to be creative and demonstrate originality is completely diminished. I say this because I’m in academia and originality is absolutely crucial to my research. I just turn completely inwards. 

My mom used to make fun of me and call me bipolar, ask if I was on drugs. Sometimes I appear manic now, but that’s just seen as a personality quirk, as a kid, it was too much. I do have ADHD, so I assume that’s what it is. Sometimes I get so manic I can’t control my thoughts or behaviour and even though I feel down, externally I look elated. 

I am terrified something is wrong. I had a difficult childhood and have always worried I haven’t quite escaped that. It was very abusive and there were a handful of times where I thought my mum and her partner were going to kill me. I learnt to survive, I desperately tried to look after my well-being to protect myself. I am so scared that my childhood has impacted me negatively and as a result I’ve developed bipolar 

So sorry if this comes across as negative or derogatory, I really don’t mean it in that way",3.5082155913447286,5.3611443724928405,5.298863748641441,78.507106017192,73.756446991404,8.366801699436817,30.65912459243157,9.035553425615538,2.8167070645193166,1402,65,262,31,29,479,178,349,0.161,0.75,0.09,-0.9848,0,1,2,0,0,1,39.0,0,1,0,5,19,13,1,3,11,0,36,7,1,7,0,47,67,26,1,4,7,2,6,2,1,1,6,1,0,3,17,11,0,4,14,1,3,6,8,8,0,1,9,10,49,4,30,56,6,28,0,2,3,0,16,9,0,10,14,185,66,2,0.0,0.11923738919825505,0.0,0.0,0.12094510343421658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08373734392645762,0.0,0.0,0.06843603731877704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18816244271924967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226937337514427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10276076749012028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668913781184256,0.4220603812461643,0.0,0.11287200667844652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11670599156902264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293846437152526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544233222920884,0.14378898049288613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856010632312513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10515647623875096,0.0,0.17158154054462713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107129059818805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503800119642936,0.0,0.08945003976814613,0.11133899657920712,0.0,0.05530699969937269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983314853853815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16901805103933565,0.0,0.0,0.08555726139568283,0.0,0.0,0.06717541585538075,0.0,0.0,0.10962227682928716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675905854972484,0.0,0.11786385009328272,0.08032681992050249,0.0,0.14795830860994533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697684395800013,0.08787161005858599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273552684412355,0.10703893989001773,0.0,0.0,0.06447009873148485,0.1034707297163436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002991081576523,0.20150869736911556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07747462984119091,0.19906346389615706,0.22530787579216474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617750609829502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06685819059830568,0.06448358551681083,0.09887451271389094,0.15978773404153576,0.1173635041929109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832534427071868,0.1094632397729009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691732758651513,0.0,0.08303536850810145,0.11871562488553325,0.07988029672973433,0.0,0.0,0.0904839905279551,0.0,0.0,0.11235667470599728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220090182833412,0.0,0.0,0.1100298389044329,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BigBadnBusty,2019/07/31,"My road to finding what works for me! [Anxiety, depression, ptsd, A.D.D. (unsure), and bipolar (still trying to figure THAT out).] *I still can't believe that nearly 2 yrs later I'm still dealing with this bullshit, trying to figure out what works for me. I'm at the end of my rope*

In 2017 I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. Started me on Latuda 40mg, then bumped to 80mg. The akathasia was beyond troublesome, yet my mood was a fucking dream...fantastic, even. We stopped the Latuda due to the akathasia. Started vraylar, but it raised my glucose levels. Stopped that and went onto Depakote, but my body wasn't absorbing it correctly. Last attempt was Lithium, which I threw up 20 minutes after taking it. 

I decided to get a 2nd opinion. They said I was not bipolar. They said I suffered from depression and anxiety (duh), PTSD, and A.D.D. I was put on vyvnase in addition to already being on cymbalta and klonopin. Was with this doctor for quite some time and he fucked with my vyvanse, taking me off of it cold turkey which turned me into a raging bitch. This was Jan of 2019.

I decided to try a 3rd opinion. This psychiatrist said I didn't had A.D.D., and based on the fact that Latuda worked for me in the past, that more than likely I was indeed bipolar. She put me on the Latuda, but at a very low dose. She thought that perhaps the dosing was too high from the doctor in 2017. I started Latuda at 20mg and this is my current road map:


Starting Lamictal today. These are the drug I've tried:

1. Latuda - stopped due to akathasia; otherwise it was the best drug so far with how much better it made me feel.

2. Risperdol - was making me dizzy & didn't change my moods.

3. Seroquel - turned me into a raging bitch and a zombie. I didn't like who I was. My mood was a mess. Dark thoughts, hateful thoughts, and poor choices.

My primary care doc suggested Lamictal. He's never really steered me wrong, so I suggested this to my psychiatrist. My psychiatrist is only in the office 2 days a week and the staff really pisses me off. I understand that she has other patients, but with these drugs not working, I've become a basketcase.


Thanks for reading. Any help or insight (please keep it positive) is appreciated.",3.1599512195121946,5.614298038095241,4.166550522648084,83.43601045296168,76.95238095238095,6.859465737514517,27.62485481997677,7.933642134475585,1.9912328687572591,1736,73,313,29,41,561,212,420,0.17600000000000002,0.767,0.055999999999999994,-0.9948,1,0,3,0,0,0,89.0,1,0,2,8,10,23,8,0,23,1,26,16,2,3,3,54,55,20,0,0,7,0,1,2,0,0,12,3,0,0,28,23,0,4,11,1,1,4,8,14,0,0,28,5,45,6,51,26,4,59,0,4,0,2,16,30,5,4,27,206,73,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726948256406824,0.0,0.0,0.09550436688072586,0.0,0.059941180901100025,0.0,0.13486037365729994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734850991648383,0.0,0.0993084987096785,0.09250205771765176,0.07795651499385083,0.0,0.09790850262287834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898690397915835,0.0,0.09324503524692143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056845814036784285,0.09087295490324944,0.15183719975801666,0.08946466027757037,0.0,0.0,0.1010210620782474,0.1804389553525665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3066583876107184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806973186488059,0.0,0.0,0.05821851215968705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04456843202633717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805623394370877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16297606329433456,0.04605178508355689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08702429748309908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05908130010004989,0.0931293457056887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834674866368861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07184941008232991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08612575456851941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340431563219472,0.058837038374067514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06479623959594863,0.0,0.06798235698994494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670377504498963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414375624080041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096756027536838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060720575037412,0.17721883566015068,0.0,0.09375236660070516,0.08816820355794723,0.0,0.11293505592017727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515363863787426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495560996855217,0.0,0.2111765763779831,0.2210778714440385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254716366960256,0.0,0.0,0.08115147532269784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20993030530128254,0.05139767958250917,0.0,0.08355053777338713,0.0,0.0,0.2393769120198541,0.19175148399329306,0.0,0.0917613773906159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07272832034019584,0.0,0.0,0.07070408114163931,0.0,0.0,0.08171069594287864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566805476721301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637201007954804,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,helpmytonguehurts,2019/07/31,"I am not the most important person in anybody’s life. I’m who people ask out if nobody else wants to hang out with them. I’m the person who gets left on read. I’m the one who initiates conversations and tries to make the plans. I’m the one day here quietly alone by myself as my best friend has told me to leave him alone. 

It’s so, so hard, to find any love for yourself, when you have to get it all from inside yourself. I give my time, I go out of my way to help others, I give compliments, I work hard at my job, I try my best to be a friend somebody would want, just to be a background character in everybody else’s lives. It’s so, so hard, to know that people just appreciate me as someone who does stuff for them and picks them up, and gets frustrated and angry when I need that back. 

In my hard times it’s difficult to stop myself from making attempts on my life because I know the only reason people would miss me is because they wouldn’t have someone to prop them up anymore. If I went silent for the next week nobody would notice unless they needed me for something. 

I’m sick of trying my best and being the background character in everyone’s lives. I have nobody there to support me, and no matter how much I better myself, I’m not important to anybody. I just want someone to appreciate me and love me. I’m running out of energy to keep waiting.",3.9633794017417614,4.744673327338134,5.0997690268837585,84.56020636122683,71.12230215827337,8.010904960242334,26.142370314274892,8.20500826718156,1.5088820143884891,1067,32,221,15,19,353,136,278,0.11900000000000001,0.7170000000000001,0.16399999999999998,0.9547,1,2,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,6,7,13,13,1,0,10,0,13,5,0,5,1,43,44,19,0,11,8,0,4,0,2,4,3,1,0,2,12,12,0,3,4,1,0,4,4,3,0,2,2,5,38,10,42,35,6,28,0,1,0,2,24,14,0,3,9,148,50,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20043336933983547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580176344172774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959623193893502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045980034434707,0.0,0.0,0.07440432787222308,0.0,0.1179709457239368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30463856875890805,0.08557849680723817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06240375567629634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08467744544821036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16166517055952986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246063857470108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843909850054578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14951681068174727,0.0,0.15166311153282028,0.18564665990395304,0.0549923129403003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34672048748370937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485781018274638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602177075063097,0.08600688449069123,0.0,0.0,0.1063561904947206,0.0,0.0,0.10245743094879638,0.10513265200080277,0.0,0.13669231711348864,0.0,0.0,0.17088597852438075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17466372306291478,0.0,0.1291793328893591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711315120207763,0.14349621609842236,0.0,0.0,0.10290793097307337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11016465603313984,0.0,0.0,0.13113743948215126,0.07359218037509001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012486346436413,0.168978424960101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678860486873844,0.0,0.0,0.09948788309035687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24595945232226699,0.07449243797970047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08089771550638207,0.0,0.0,0.11076982021737837,0.0,0.1098048470571306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284589000414308,0.0,0.0,0.09246063857470108,0.0,0.1970859937360608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17121894629508494,0.07680550474571114,0.07761697637093921,0.0,0.0,0.08969973237536884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044419389185183,0.0,0.0,0.20621173986862965,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jay_kayy,2019/07/31,"Recently diagnosed Hello everyone,

This is my first post ever and I have been thinking about making this post since I was diagnosed/medicated about 3 weeks ago. I guess I’m just looking for some insight and some understanding from people who also have the same diagnosis because I’m having some difficulty with A) knowing how do you know the medicine is working b) is the medicine working? (I felt great now I feel eh) C) should I tell people besides my obvious very close family? D) now that I’m diagnosed should I try to go see the sleep specialist again even though I haven’t had an episode since May? I’m not sure it’s worth it anymore, even though they were seizure like episodes. It was scary.

I’m just a little lost and need some general support I guess. I was diagnosed after seeing a neurologist for migraines and sleep issues (nightmares and what looked like sleep seizures). I was told I needed to see a specialist so I did. She said I can’t be put into a study until I see a psychiatrist and she was concerned about PTSD related sleep disorder. So I waited 2 months to see the psychiatrist and was diagnosed with PTSD after talking for awhile and generalized anxiety disorder and then I said something which prompted her to ask another question.

Which led to the whole other line of questioning and then the diagnosis of Bipolar II. I’m familiar with the diagnosis as I majored in psych in school and I relate to it and it makes sense to me and I can see the hypomania. I also understand the kind period of depression as I’ve been extremely low for about 9 months to the point of ideation. 
 
I’m on abilify and lamotrigine (starting doses are low like 10mg) as I’ve had some paranoia and auditory hallucinations (whispering as I fall asleep). I was really worried about it but it’s since gone away. I’m on some temporary meds to make the nightmares go away called Prazosin and it worked at first but now I’m dreaming through it at highest dose. No nightmares though yet. 

I’m worried about side effects etc. anything to watch for? I’m also on nortriptyline (20mg) and topiramate (150mg - as I sit here talking about side effects lol eye roll ) for migraines but that’s it. 


Thanks everyone.

Tl;dr - help with general questions such as if my medication is already working and if I should revisit my neuro with concerns about sleep hygiene issues now that other issues have been handled.",3.7691696969696977,6.380515442222222,4.813747474747476,78.76631818181819,75.68888888888887,8.268686868686869,30.449494949494948,9.033387906413283,3.0226888888888888,1919,91,338,47,44,626,227,450,0.07200000000000001,0.8740000000000001,0.054000000000000006,0.364,0,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,0,1,1,9,30,12,0,0,19,1,32,17,7,7,3,73,77,41,0,7,8,0,2,3,0,4,10,3,0,0,21,25,0,1,13,1,1,6,4,4,0,2,20,15,35,8,54,52,10,47,0,4,10,0,19,17,0,14,24,221,56,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060399763615348226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07519140200157241,0.1634685511021553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144808734800352,0.05212498464289248,0.0,0.0675740697031594,0.0,0.0,0.05607133921382793,0.0,0.06369934462506517,0.0,0.12803480822197896,0.0,0.0,0.04153597453680157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06957598389659624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05868671049153661,0.27663242606165045,0.0,0.0,0.1561829073028762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07599129998899526,0.09000832401568751,0.06163425035496385,0.0,0.13021656157549832,0.0,0.0,0.06423395076148983,0.0,0.03445235649181922,0.0,0.06542266485757206,0.0,0.0,0.11591540901018793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744819865573634,0.0,0.0,0.07512181072364436,0.15012222917171758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045671115641766916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21335347501592133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07095469870376092,0.07489315259975203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09986559088846024,0.06829165393393566,0.0,0.0,0.1144366423545591,0.0,0.07438010689045615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13644688822270076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15137075650093693,0.06864134128211223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877337072810386,0.0,0.0,0.10104615405794927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944758967312212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06441194127417793,0.0,0.1305137391561052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15929813245227248,0.06849698570975754,0.2289887101427639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04365061356305085,0.0,0.0672775399693837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962869098413785,0.0,0.0,0.06895876604858396,0.3257804920204703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16909207928021155,0.0,0.34093343345480825,0.0,0.0,0.05245555993675991,0.0,0.0,0.048228058068055926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773216032709476,0.06421876722427085,0.0,0.0,0.10953264862392907,0.059555159593760384,0.06273183575321828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04365974502811847,0.20083418037025288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510828078774916,0.0,0.04626087532059316,0.0,0.0,0.14186703647880952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05622055579453555,0.0,0.0,0.05465577535863931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607306154823289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19841958379172533,0.13839383401859928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,actop25,2019/07/31,"Moving in with S/O Hi. I’m bipolar 2, pretty rough mixed episodes and rapid cycling, binge eating disorder, PTSD from growing up. Ive been diagnosed for about 5 years. I’m moving in with my boyfriend next week. We’ve been together almost two years and he’s aware of my diagnoses, he’s known me medicated and unmedicated, although we’ve been long distance for a year so he’s missed some of the rough stuff. 

He’s seen my room messy and felt the rage occasionally but I’m worried about the days i can’t leave bed or the sobbing mess or the money spending or the secret eating. I guess I’m just wondering what people have experienced moving in with people and how that’s helped or hurt or just affected them. 

Crappiest thing so far: I’ve started noticing that I would pick fights with him on the way home from dates or friends’ homes. After multiple fights (mostly one sided, he has godlike patience), my therapist and I realized it’s another behavior from my childhood. I used to be afraid to go home to my dad and even afraid to leave events because he would start in on us and my mom in the car. Turns out, I’m like doing the same thing. Luckily, it was pretty easy to catch on to and I’m getting better at that. I know i don’t have to be afraid to go home anymore. I’m afraid of what more things like this will pop up.",2.393571428571427,4.517851244360905,3.5979458646616567,88.2181067669173,77.90977443609023,6.81239097744361,24.173834586466164,7.839951260653429,1.2406621353383454,1045,36,216,17,25,339,153,266,0.11900000000000001,0.785,0.096,-0.3598,0,0,0,0,2,0,27.0,1,0,1,1,8,15,3,4,10,0,16,6,0,4,0,40,36,20,0,2,9,2,3,2,1,3,4,0,6,0,12,14,2,0,6,0,2,8,2,11,0,2,6,5,19,4,35,25,4,37,0,3,1,0,17,15,1,11,15,120,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065661106530985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159258932227678,0.0,0.0,0.10554187927369738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487377228181829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412147847123002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863328950075279,0.0,0.0,0.21603187615340316,0.0,0.0,0.12196866060891205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21779224257401766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029062855487135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218166563732363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822212576914461,0.0,0.05560102447685883,0.0,0.1209639802426593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172356664112459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133232310163892,0.0,0.4269991725623197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139267920098619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058486665852982185,0.0,0.0,0.22537074711620875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039846811402326,0.0,0.0,0.09417998877608463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720881821392847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246399850655793,0.0,0.3393287550523737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318084531699475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116198213283695,0.0,0.0,0.07211420010562501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755902272694774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21653856257177498,0.0,0.0,0.1244014482009001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15065186704259256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12182755759704104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12356397087281165,0.21210584596776375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157564135205682,0.10395868422106654,0.0,0.12801238275279814,0.09191430963564563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447271138307702,0.08536518918945814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540995719533645,0.0,0.10807655500385087,0.0,0.15119805838046707,0.0,0.0,0.2055965475986156
bipolarreddit,awaythrowanotheraway,2018/12/23,I'm tired of this shit I reconnected with some old friends while I was hypomanic and I don't know how to explain myself and I feel like now that I'm not doing a ton of things nobody's going to want to deal with me. I was really happy to have one of them back in my life and now all I can offer as a person is a black hole of happiness. All of the things I was working towards feel pointless. I'm tired of this. I wan't to live my life and grow as a person and make something of myself and at this point it feels impossible because by the time I start to seriously invest myself in anything my emotions decide to fuck me over. I genuinely thought I was doing really good and now it doesn't even matter. Sorry for the stupid post everything sucks and I wanna cry. ,3.6301029159519733,4.414354628930823,5.261109205260149,83.08816466552318,71.8930817610063,8.045969125214409,25.14636935391653,8.296473431620573,1.4324918238993716,602,17,126,9,11,205,94,159,0.15,0.735,0.115,-0.6971,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,1,6,10,4,0,7,0,11,6,1,2,2,26,26,12,0,2,1,0,3,1,1,0,4,0,0,2,8,10,0,0,7,0,1,2,3,5,0,1,5,4,21,5,26,21,4,17,0,0,1,1,7,6,3,1,9,94,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12952763578245075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12103167584449664,0.0,0.09595020659583586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17289763984382914,0.0,0.16227354988436551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17705497250724692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10396189545279877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414618959730125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23876006955184306,0.11244732687364982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160764488601733,0.14551471537988372,0.0,0.0,0.08945463233213774,0.1320205156430333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3351126453729307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650348938114767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22235400397305666,0.07689819234547363,0.0,0.1389879927055546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10506640938228323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16516590268170647,0.0,0.10665901111114226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27487301531178365,0.0,0.0,0.14879484931839834,0.0,0.15074667652889545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016702598706976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16156989479437678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12117500237229137,0.0,0.17619756583267998,0.11140925876786398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20914049982461372,0.0,0.0,0.12495883550031385,0.09178180604507552,0.36181865740158414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283920527674648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11458982406087205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sounds_like_music,2018/12/23,"Everyone is sick of me. My mom told me she’s just waiting for the day I finally kill myself so she can bury me and get it over with. My older sister told me that nobody cares if I’m suicidal. They said “you’re 18, cut that shit out.” 

What should I do? Is this cruel? Are they right?",-1.0166803278688512,1.0429619836065598,1.5050614754098393,97.85300204918036,93.09836065573772,5.017213114754099,14.182377049180328,6.6274283507984215,-0.5855098360655737,215,4,52,3,8,73,50,61,0.309,0.6509999999999999,0.04,-0.9692,0,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,2,0,2,5,4,0,1,0,6,2,1,0,0,7,13,3,2,2,2,2,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,3,1,13,1,5,9,0,6,0,0,0,0,9,3,1,1,3,34,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727468204292665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17252343041833995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556196557835836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29304686559217114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13976423900557114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959629437031734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31330740442753435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22845421158236945,0.2544656452922089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27459773488360645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2926152537174821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5112393115671672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,holed-up,2018/12/23,"I can't speak. Incapable of casual conversation. (Fuck the holidays) Over the summer, I had some bad episodes fueled by bad medication reactions. I had some classmates approach me about my behavior: basically strangers! 

This made me super anxious to talk to anyone. I spent this fall semester avoiding my friends. I've been pretty alone (in a satisfactory way). 

I feel out of practice of conversation. I feel awkward all the time. I feel unintelligent. I feel like I say stupid shit. All the family smalltalk this time of year is painful. 

My boyfriend is still working on understanding my health, and isn't a great conversationalist himself. 

Has anyone ever felt like this / how do you get out of it?",3.781067073170732,7.0248901300813,4.676417682926829,75.22730945121955,82.65853658536584,7.953048780487803,29.638719512195124,8.660442795831766,3.1447402439024392,558,27,93,15,16,180,83,123,0.22,0.629,0.151,-0.8690000000000001,0,2,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,2,4,14,3,2,6,0,9,5,1,2,3,17,19,2,0,0,0,0,5,2,1,0,3,2,0,0,5,3,0,1,6,2,1,2,2,8,0,0,6,7,17,6,14,13,4,14,0,0,0,1,8,5,2,2,8,59,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878019102942079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20484988652250705,0.0,0.2535785713079234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3028038823186078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640222454096669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709406178343341,0.0,0.3667410791173769,0.12954130294560934,0.1741040465134634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009415078744006,0.1676355174654389,0.09473679344858248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999155989270468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19274399341362167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771761465132534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715776578135053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826696497512696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19294658611776355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18447653859825205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441999085904646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18613136719529427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448093826055481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457451893184095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114685172576816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18876963489339668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14393033016272944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13200949747638668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11676977685724882
bipolarreddit,shitsngiggles13,2018/12/23,"Manic me is a master chef So, every once in a while when I'm manic (hypomanic/rapid cycling cuz bipolar 2) i think that i can just easily cook something and it'll turn out okay, even if I've never made it before. Today i tried to make ramen from scratch, because I've been wanting to try it. I had most of the ingredients at home and decided to improvise the ones i didn't. Obviously it was a complete fail. 

Currently trying not to cry cuz i made my boyfriend wait a couple hours to eat so i could make us something and i absolutely hate it, its gross. But he's insisting on eating it cuz apparently its not that bad. I don't know how he's still eating it though. Currently eating a granola bar and an applesauce pouch, then going to bed...",1.8448,4.0542898800000025,4.122,83.32100000000001,80.2,7.2,24.0,8.238735603445708,1.632,582,21,116,12,15,201,103,150,0.076,0.855,0.069,-0.4384,3,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,0,2,8,5,1,0,8,1,9,7,0,8,2,27,21,16,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,11,5,6,1,3,2,0,1,5,4,0,1,6,1,12,1,12,13,1,14,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,2,9,75,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12128114733838913,0.08854558117121822,0.0,0.12360058252235095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15229621189333198,0.0,0.0,0.11597361872361292,0.1607209533465196,0.15955486232135152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5945250296075067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593899564286083,0.0,0.122382885487578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825512803914123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14340840030665167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14570175497855364,0.0,0.14304607777276107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798278816934245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748859762023824,0.1939165450578853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202895452154744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15469092834889114,0.09842797072615556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22364748110805915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11600015120866496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307299372202577,0.14271146412429614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376839493495355,0.0,0.0,0.2958540977861412,0.15799480358485626,0.0,0.0,0.17472285685375052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08567466062194291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,xayleigh,2018/12/23,"My diddy about not wanting medication TL;DR I'm 20 and worried about taking meds

​

HI! I'm hella new to reddit but I'm having a hard time finding my own answer to this very unique predicament I've found myself in.

​

I'm 20 years old, and have only recently been diagnosed bipolar-- however, I'm from a low-income family and haven't until now had the financial resources to seek assistance for my mental health, it is likely I've exhibited symptoms of bipolar since I was very young, I'd say as early as 8 years old.

​

Because of my background (low-income family, divorce, several family deaths, being a first-gen college student with immense financial pressure, and racial identity struggles), for me, my experience with bipolar disorder has been blurred as I try to decipher what parts of my life were affected by mental illness. I've been able to identify three specific episodes: one manic episode lasting roughly over my senior year of high school and two depressive episode- one  starting after a bad breakup and lasting about 1.5 yrs and another lasting about 1 full year during my sophomore year of college, the latter greatly damaging my academic performance.

​

Complicating matters, during my soph year episode, I decided to see a psychiatrist who diagnosed me major depressive, and I experimented with four different antidepressants, worsening my already occurring depressive episode. During this time I also expressed concerns with my psych that I later learned were symptoms of bipolar, but was told they were just part of ""growing up,"" (ie. spending excessive amounts of money, leading to many financial problems).

​

I've since been to a different psychiatrist and have been told that I am bipolar (I don't believe I was specified as 1 or 2, I also didn't completely love this experience either), but was told (as I've read online and heard from a different doctor) that my illness needed treatment-- this psych was especially concerned as I was a potential suicide risk.

​

So here's my deal: I don't want to take meds. I've recently sobered up (oh yeah, I also started using alccy and 420--lol-- following my sr year of high school, and I think self medicating once I was fed up with the lack of results from antidepressants) on my own but know I'm not reliable when I'm having an episode. I also feel that, because of my past, and likely unpredictable future, my mood may alter regardless of medications (because of financial stress, moving to new places, etc).

​

I've been prescribed a ""starter kit"" of lamotrigine but am still apprehensive. I'm still distrusting of psychiatrists who do not take my experiences into consideration,  am weary of any medications after a year of ""trial and error,"" and feel like with a LOT of (medication free) therapy and a controlled schedule I can manage my bipolar. Anyone have similar thoughts or experiences? Anyone else have a mental health crisis at 20? Thanks!!",9.373613395225464,9.811291463461544,9.171180371352786,61.24692307692313,59.365384615384606,12.326259946949605,43.31564986737401,11.812370657439216,5.726530503978777,2411,132,347,67,29,783,268,520,0.14800000000000002,0.8270000000000001,0.025,-0.9967,6,0,0,0,1,1,111.0,0,0,1,3,15,20,1,5,17,1,36,23,0,5,0,61,68,36,2,6,12,0,4,3,0,1,21,2,0,1,12,23,1,1,11,1,3,4,7,12,0,5,25,7,41,8,61,41,11,52,0,4,1,1,14,12,0,5,39,218,53,14,0.04705801180596191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051929686199470984,0.1505291001585454,0.0,0.35691135291791043,0.4002644457021736,0.03200106171603817,0.04934442844218578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580811201600338,0.04821649415376116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03929147424351191,0.08605838166072029,0.0,0.0,0.05301826471151818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049339430062409935,0.0,0.052779561664348384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048514743861582346,0.12159298984108445,0.09552578283936937,0.0,0.14749681964992525,0.053932558444579975,0.04816586910209646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039310930511693855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0524821223872892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301588263536988,0.13308631642458324,0.0,0.047587889408288064,0.03361825303681454,0.0,0.0,0.043010170262884284,0.04002752080255472,0.0,0.051596681032158434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051881624145448516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04215473544264065,0.0,0.0,0.10004093203579854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943874627425987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025861852615229098,0.11507568111308494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033238465409295384,0.06897050272920882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04000703882700179,0.04247169292232707,0.0,0.0,0.04770943792423374,0.0,0.0,0.10454168529409524,0.2370299807028693,0.14227022321373214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05001521927142076,0.0,0.03489291948421825,0.0,0.09089784207846008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09875893476145677,0.05011524676598703,0.06377545334127531,0.03578973849365934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019184820321658,0.04492219699381516,0.0,0.0,0.04916560654997508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04502816197499234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047070746372270864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09292821907508522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03742241975839316,0.0,0.0952504405099618,0.03749914278802447,0.0,0.049091769284645835,0.0531621588102129,0.0,0.07785374729993574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06661580592503474,0.0,0.07516117803110624,0.0,0.05390479353130384,0.049195251329365086,0.0,0.05147382709134184,0.0,0.0,0.09782258491461088,0.10614530530876452,0.0,0.0,0.04332469482765136,0.0538149376465124,0.0,0.0,0.0301528738460242,0.0,0.03735880494300702,0.054879810229125685,0.0,0.0,0.13489784072216746,0.0,0.031949301047226326,0.0,0.04596883973787468,0.0,0.0,0.04064301314427542,0.0,0.07765557610719978,0.05551206918840162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04778969523920595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4002644457021736,0.24243053396414302
bipolarreddit,BadMammaJammas,2018/12/23,"Today has been rough I was definitely hypomanic-manic the last two weeks or more and just couldn’t find the will to even get up this morning. I’ve been sleeping all day... my head is killing me. I’m not on meds and contemplating going back to a psychiatrist to get prescribed something again... I’m cycling so much now and I can’t keep up..

Reason why I’m not taking meds anymore is because I thought I was doing really well without them. I’ve since moved to a new location and now will have to find a new doc... ugh. I’m just so discouraged and down today. This is the first time I’ve actually slept all day... my husband is worried. 

I’m so exhausted right now. I can’t even think straight I’m so tired. ",1.092291666666668,3.4103169791666685,2.9977777777777814,89.60000000000002,84.06944444444446,6.1000000000000005,23.583333333333336,7.413659706084162,1.05105,551,21,118,9,16,184,85,144,0.135,0.815,0.05,-0.9167,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,1,14,5,1,0,6,0,16,5,3,1,2,21,30,10,1,1,6,1,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,5,0,0,2,6,4,1,2,6,1,9,1,10,21,4,23,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,1,15,71,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.1499143251249016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523531808951053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181269491591046,0.0,0.09364742822295853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19814883044896164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20293367753438926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28081809730724394,0.13067202667411335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605238223607631,0.0,0.08730774594182662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576619783563455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136547579450116,0.16996158437382172,0.0,0.0,0.12522361424052245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34128203834285176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16327741353218145,0.112930910665821,0.0,0.0,0.2967409673780693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841511475581426,0.15795049083628518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13119358549276205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12707890396259044,0.0,0.15373439335088973,0.0,0.0,0.11826683588994448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11550571447294106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843570264929756,0.0,0.1219598580713007,0.08957906813045602,0.17656755493746154,0.2912341326041283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15006778666197634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12322746382977863,0.0,0.1381259294864991,0.0,0.13862126752236167,0.0,0.0,0.1480875221281977,0.0,0.0,0.15601206884256244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sadbabykitty,2018/12/23,"lamictal rash ??? is it possible to get a rash/allergic reaction to lamictal if you have taken it before in the past and never had a problem with it? i was on lamictal for like 10 years and then randomly went off it during a manic episode, and now my psych is trying to get me back on it. he started me at 25 but after a week i noticed extremely tiny itchy bumps under my armpit and then some on my stomach so i stopped taking it. he then told me to try taking it again since i had been on it in the past and it worked to well and to call him next time instead of just going off it. well i started out trying 15 mg for a week which was fine but last night i went up to 25 mg and today i noticed my underarm was itching and i had little tiny bumps again ??!! it's the weekend so i can't call him. i really want to just stop taking it because i have severe hypochondria and i've basically convinced myself i'm dying.   
anyway i just want to know if anyone has had experience with getting rashes from lamictal when you took it before and were fine? please help :( ",2.8063059902860203,4.143660747706427,4.621268213707502,84.7704937938478,74.55045871559633,7.514732865623315,25.208850512682144,8.124751697461798,1.479369347004857,825,27,170,13,17,281,118,218,0.08,0.7959999999999999,0.124,0.8046,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,1,14,7,0,0,8,0,15,5,5,0,1,29,33,20,1,5,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,14,13,0,2,1,1,0,4,2,1,2,0,14,0,24,6,28,19,1,42,0,0,0,0,10,13,0,4,26,122,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08866319763791101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975032309324091,0.0,0.0772975759151363,0.0,0.2157990333182664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589588883897452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316008883888092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403709441866445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19874708650157533,0.0,0.07206473523063901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499298662947156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06968729171713567,0.1033608932119239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06194925546745999,0.12708933311896947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779784041484683,0.0,0.13485580806099678,0.11899547767560985,0.0,0.0,0.2887307823339313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24209450831369994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13919097482339107,0.0,0.1429506717360275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12133278716428605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123287471304433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14325063731661752,0.0,0.10489226893528802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795028055235426,0.0,0.0,0.2120249953865333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860189084482096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739395085440643,0.0,0.1201938638424217,0.12116514257865756,0.14088214994951154,0.2582715510015978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14958270070242194,0.0,0.2034264991780487,0.0,0.2280212008580052,0.23509422020156376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923136691279597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08165659858582476
bipolarreddit,sponjireggae77,2018/12/23,"My insurance lapsed. I've been without one of my meds., (Zoloft), for 2 weeks.... (For some info., I'm on 300mg Lamictal, 200mg Zoloft and 80mg Propranolol/Inderal, per day)...Aside from the brain zaps, I've been okay except I'm highly emotional, i.e. crying at mundane things like commercials, YouTube videos, etc., that aren't even sad... It's like my empathy/sensitivity has skyrocketed 3 fold. I was walking to the corner store for smokes today and passed a little 4-year-old boy with his mom. The boy asked, ""hey, how are you?"", I said, ""I'm fine, how are you?"". He said, ""I'm great!"", I said, ""Awesome, dude!""... I started crying. Why? I'll be able to get the Zoloft filled in a couple of days. But since I had to stop it abruptly, almost everything makes me wanna cry... I guess the bonus part of the matter is that my orgasms have been more intense than ever, in my life! So, I got that going for me.",1.8707976071784669,3.946737920903957,3.27058823529412,90.15858424725826,79.3954802259887,6.42459288800266,21.14622798271851,7.510576382923642,0.6725137254901963,680,19,145,10,17,222,122,177,0.054000000000000006,0.8370000000000001,0.11,0.7411,0,0,1,0,0,0,72.0,0,2,0,1,5,7,0,0,8,1,12,6,2,3,1,17,26,6,0,1,3,1,0,2,0,0,4,3,0,2,6,3,0,1,1,1,2,4,2,1,0,1,9,3,17,6,20,16,4,18,0,1,0,1,12,7,0,3,9,76,23,0,0.14194190762084358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213431701619922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269652287641562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845411191214084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570560210042324,0.4677495613289725,0.1830815757088144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15966554121498966,0.0,0.0,0.1583027476460156,0.09375129129755383,0.12839458177062554,0.0,0.0,0.1275682341025759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741587882957003,0.0,0.08066885715347015,0.0,0.11352391016441878,0.15649145425093358,0.15636501391652233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499694185529242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10025776707351422,0.1386912926017018,0.14226308091318893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947473255338892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576654608542322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624064668996427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14894415484918164,0.0,0.09618351008932602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537092538154521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40505777555161604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11741581277116275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004672127850222,0.0,0.0,0.11866979050891993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429989630227313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13454433159293222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138572364895582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280804939763906,0.0,0.0,0.13682693373770768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914059347595794
bipolarreddit,srslymeowing,2019/06/13,"I want to help people like me Hi everyone! I created an instagram today called @theangelicacollection to help share some ways I am coping with mental illness. I have been diagnosed with OCD, bipolar disorder and panic disorder. Do you think this would be valuable and do you have any additional coping mechanisms you would want to share?",8.151896551724139,10.037297810344832,8.375344827586208,60.8416379310345,62.27586206896552,12.006896551724141,35.1896551724138,11.698219412168324,4.980262068965517,275,12,40,9,4,90,41,58,0.157,0.564,0.27899999999999997,0.7088,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,3,0,0,0,5,0,1,1,0,9,3,0,0,0,11,12,2,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,8,4,5,8,1,2,0,0,0,0,9,0,0,1,2,27,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15617423269858488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345048697009217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330964198977386,0.0,0.0,0.5264122801483501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21944653955988228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078676986756124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121985205589962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23143964350746746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694523125589038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15921483687359408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471545531315909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21768742177172234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709145992698237,0.18229056705009805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32628264616791786,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Poppyspacekitten,2019/06/13,"I'm going up north fishing this weekend, and I'm not going to drink. Hey all. I just wanted to tell people who might understand that I'm going to a cabin in the northwoods of Wisconsin this weekend. A place where everyone gets trashed and I always have too.

Last night I was up until 4am ruminating about how badly I want to be sober. It isn't that alcohol runs my life, it is just that I want to be healthier for my loved ones. 

So, starting today I am going to go as long as I can without drinking. I did this for two months last August, and now my goal is 6 months. 

I'm hoping it isn't my mood making me feel like I can do this. Wish me luck.",2.53521739130435,3.3589981739130472,4.499246376811595,87.38452173913046,74.5072463768116,7.259130434782609,23.94492753623189,7.554174236665415,0.9592440579710146,500,14,111,6,10,172,86,138,0.023,0.841,0.136,0.9157,0,0,3,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,8,6,0,0,3,0,14,5,0,2,1,19,34,8,0,5,4,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,11,3,3,0,2,4,0,6,4,1,0,2,2,1,15,4,17,29,1,25,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,3,14,74,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17114545724274755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13325281138481015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13371372590074232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137607160061065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530246552312758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097372423720392,0.11440705543311855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836687398781119,0.0,0.4550682245862418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590593346285308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610778101941901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131145913628763,0.07823837168010803,0.0,0.0,0.14172258617121974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445364017333685,0.0,0.10689750353838226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16988769914938226,0.0,0.0,0.2556511606914336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502844923701564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851786108126264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102383099386806,0.0,0.16731661421568253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133508959082644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13997309795029295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15179798565797445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15643762304745554,0.1667157701231874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.283371612285584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18415793783767684,0.15437330342523511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RickyRodrigo,2019/06/13,"my mom is bipolar and so am i...anyone else have similar experiences and/or advice? my mom is bipolar and so am i. this is not something either of us really knew until we realized it on our own individually during a half year period in which we weren't talking. I've moved back home after coming back from college. Usually I don't mind living at home. For the most part, my mom is accepting, we share similar political/social  beliefs, she doesn't place unnecessary rules on me/respects my space as an adult, etc. Where we really come into conflict is just in dealing and communicating with one another at times. Its starting to really weigh down on me. In a heated argument over the dumbest thing today, it somehow led to her telling me ""I might as well kill myself, it'd be better for everyone"" and me retorting that she made me want to kill myself even more than I already always do...which while true at that moment isn't really something I am happy to have said. Our communication is just terrible. I'm not perfect I know, especially since my symptoms often come across as apathetic, agitated, and annoyed, but since coming to the realization that Im bipolar, I have attempted be more aware, started meds (although I did stop taking them and just got back on but thats another story and greatly has to do with $), and now I'm back in therapy. On her side, she recently stopped taking her meds (part of which has to do with $, the other with lack of initiative), and scoffs at the idea of going to therapy. Which really does not help. She refuses to listen to me when I tell her that she misconstrued something I said as an attitude (esp since Im not even in an agitated state so), and then yells that I don't listen to her, when all I do is try to assert my point while dancing around what I know sets her off. Today I just blew up on it because it was dumb and I just felt exasperated and shocked at how my yelling from upstairs that I'd be down in a moment cause she didn't hear me the first three times she called was an ""attitude,"" mind you I am 21 (although I don't think my age gives me the right to disrespect her, just pointing out that being this petty over a slight feel of an attitude is especially ridiculous at my age). We haven't really talked since the argument (its been about 12 hours). I'm sorry if I'm rambling, this is my first ever post to any subreddit, so bare with me please. I guess my point is Im just feeling so hopeless about it all at this point. I don't really think I'm most of the problem at this point but at the same time I can't tell where the problem comes from mine or her mood swings at this point. I can't tell whats based off past shit that has never completely been alleviated. On top of all this, she respects my diagnosis but at the same time has shown that she is skeptical of me being bipolar because ""she never saw it."" Mind you, I literally spent a whole summer in high school manic as fuck, did heroin, among other things, and almost ruined my life but somehow that wasn't even noticed. I also spent most of my life from 13-now constantly wishing I was dead and trying a few times, although I failed miserably (thankfully, I guess). (to be fair i was a very secretive and private kid, but im also an only child so...). It just makes me feel like she doesn't even try to see when Im coming from a place of emotional pain or struggle, while she expects me to understand hers. And I do try but it just feels like goddammmit, im the one who's her kid! When we get into these arguments, she holds stuff over my head about ""having an attitude"" and being ""mean"" (which i probably was a slight bit) when I was a teen but like...I was a bipolar kid!!!! and i didnt even know it!!! Idk I guess my point is, is i feel so hopeless. I love my mom and miss the times when we were able to watch documentaries and talk and do things without feeling some sort of tension. She tells me she feels like she can't even talk to me about anything because Im always offended (literally bc I make a critique of her point, or just a sidenote bc shes smart and tries to have serious convos with me but then accuses me of implying shes stupid, ugh). It just feels sad. She's really the only person in my life who can shake me up in such a way and the only person who's opinion really matters to me in my core, which makes it so much more difficult. I don't know how to make her actually see that, she always says Im bullshitting when we argue. I don't wanna have to move out again because I really do like this house, and also because I really can't afford to move out, like not even in the slightest, I'd probably just end up being homeless/couch surfing again. I'm so broke and stressed and usually what gets me through it is knowing I have a loving mother (really my main ""family"") so when we have conflict, it really just makes me want to die. I guess what I'm looking for is seeing if anyone has similar experiences, validation, advice, anything yall think could be helpful really I guess. I have a therapy sesh scheduled for tomorrow, so I guess thats good timing at least. Thanks everyone, this subreddit has really helped me accept my condition and feel a part of a community of some sort, less isolated, more human & less overly medical. Idk.",4.235451737451741,5.2974097333333345,5.6546409266409245,79.79411583011584,70.71428571428571,9.142342342342344,27.998712998713003,9.464145990575183,2.408699099099099,4140,145,821,91,74,1398,394,1050,0.162,0.765,0.073,-0.9986,1,0,3,0,1,5,147.0,12,3,1,7,64,53,11,5,42,0,85,17,2,10,8,173,161,79,4,11,34,5,10,5,0,1,11,8,2,8,57,54,1,6,27,1,2,13,26,31,1,6,25,24,136,21,119,124,29,139,1,8,6,3,91,66,3,24,61,585,193,3,0.03734692350179994,0.0,0.03644520997927381,0.0,0.0,0.07298996281781905,0.0,0.0,0.03739754913512995,0.0,0.0412132587743201,0.08959896369395279,0.09322689645948372,0.04046537601082041,0.0,0.02539718866180064,0.07832301125976923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052227674543364,0.03826633658282525,0.061466671755737376,0.03324667992418934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148699155394979,0.0,0.1138316896254292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03303031887179563,0.04077316769558305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03813538453170995,0.0,0.0,0.038365578119898235,0.0,0.193026406045178,0.03915753873668285,0.040358756567801655,0.0,0.02981847946936355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03850303823244786,0.0,0.0,0.0387602102760696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032682544432901355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031198562333200845,0.042010262181047794,0.033078289068411974,0.0,0.04165169191788652,0.17267103522000188,0.03378243045910004,0.0,0.07137317174643149,0.0,0.07306491499504134,0.035207355686423504,0.0,0.16995354004803656,0.08004194883586213,0.03585890334142658,0.0,0.0,0.06353454810389263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03452662897710626,0.039024452184535686,0.03582657211146952,0.021225117286262748,0.031324827520525816,0.02986974643077972,0.04117511500695658,0.24685108059971,0.0,0.0,0.039756494530886685,0.0,0.0,0.03832871810053786,0.0,0.04209269707825207,0.0,0.0750985667516883,0.03945907516803733,0.07492401870863848,0.0,0.036779196684423136,0.04309333542714413,0.0,0.04216013075037958,0.3227286891695461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263767489535381,0.0,0.1026244622508062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913770964719602,0.10947492214204027,0.0,0.032978017679446525,0.0,0.031362009678474516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741411316323946,0.03533856202823566,0.124646807205326,0.0,0.0,0.04068174831925373,0.08296802549854371,0.037623096332436434,0.0,0.03961918395002762,0.11312923897704745,0.1749610617155928,0.0,0.11908160776687447,0.027454285965916696,0.0,0.05760849953878128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04251971994054152,0.0,0.0,0.05061448382159362,0.08521205471983696,0.039739759759806,0.0,0.0,0.12132923616396706,0.035651864374946864,0.0,0.06521978612755737,0.07803917234382106,0.04099570693433497,0.2824393144134741,0.0,0.03576802907154327,0.0,0.08053260036711046,0.07147192395806409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3588809327682654,0.0,0.036875581391605,0.0,0.0,0.031894068610413995,0.071050953219278,0.029699772564379542,0.0,0.037797080440908085,0.0892819881253457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038336080284885866,0.12357504421259008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625445895184937,0.0,0.041806823222603054,0.05286868935626867,0.0,0.0,0.06244740066407905,0.0427807746892288,0.039043113330530656,0.04275329223639772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03881775339997945,0.05616047718275243,0.12007216973771187,0.16321428636430074,0.0687680588860802,0.1281283855228964,0.0,0.07443490944554908,0.07179120173183044,0.0,0.0,0.15244104000931788,0.0,0.07080103323712371,0.0,0.0,0.1267805477063916,0.0,0.0,0.03887946447537191,0.04492375056726005,0.0,0.08226471980724598,0.03081512317522475,0.04405636621356794,0.029644249519529788,0.0,0.0,0.03357936941332131,0.0,0.0,0.041696506354231014,0.0429471189001926,0.03600110152766206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024050194268174226
bipolarreddit,cd_sweet,2019/06/13,"Is This Considered Ultra-Rapid Cycling? Ive noticed that I tend to have an overarching energy/mood cycles, either up or down (depressed be much more common), and then my moods tend to fluctuate within those overarching cycles. When depressed I tend to show even some BPD-esque symptoms like low self esteem and self hate, but out of the blue I may randomly feel better. Sometimes something bad happening is what pushes me into depression. The cycle is like 4 days to 2 weeks depression, 2 days hypomania, and some mixed states every now and then.",9.420816326530613,8.968974959183672,9.031551020408164,65.22059183673471,59.61224489795919,11.921632653061225,35.926530612244896,11.20814326018867,4.225181224489797,438,16,68,10,5,141,74,98,0.192,0.726,0.081,-0.9194,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,4,11,1,0,3,0,7,1,0,0,0,14,13,9,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,4,6,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,7,0,0,0,2,6,3,10,11,5,16,0,5,1,0,2,6,0,5,10,45,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15194559075968944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609464072280311,0.0,0.0,0.22919727668372056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347239236103587,0.0,0.6269559840263584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019598832762315,0.0,0.15332588982194942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201449052707784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16092419869346564,0.0,0.0,0.17966744694209322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17781234536587207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13377614386273215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071852889865911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3796893870239862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009699522410493,0.17998274537044892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18914676454199014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14597327544726252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thatsmypurse14,2019/03/18,"Lack of empathy I know this is not really related to my bipolar disorder, but I just recently found out my brother is in jail again. This time he has a felony charge of meth possession (living in Texas). My dad and I thought that he quit doing meth, but we were very wrong. He has been in jail multiple times and has had multiple suicide attempts (one of which really fucked me up when I found out about it). He apparently lit himself on fire ""accidently"". Anyways, I don't know what's going on with me, but I have absolutely no sympathy for him. Yes, it's sad, but idk.. I just don't feel much. Just figured I'd reach out and see if anyone has had a similar experience. ",3.065905673274095,4.785228263157896,4.917935748462064,81.33866712235134,74.63909774436091,9.34764183185236,27.88038277511961,9.800150414767053,2.7460736842105256,521,21,107,15,11,178,89,133,0.23800000000000002,0.706,0.055,-0.9845,1,0,2,0,0,1,22.0,1,0,0,2,7,3,1,0,2,1,14,2,0,0,0,25,23,9,1,2,9,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,7,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,7,4,15,0,16,16,2,15,0,1,2,1,9,9,1,1,5,73,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15102810104299258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24754795835183135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21128368170799294,0.0,0.0,0.1092131099009482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4736527773058054,0.0,0.19968307053375664,0.0,0.0,0.1227544280378594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374094238705383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19072675281200613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15878052052579905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14636319621122826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22973631899336716,0.0,0.0,0.27674271032446085,0.0,0.21326812197262726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17211933764755696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23626249472497274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17147519340490494,0.25189580039886456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17821775820005115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361556476111453,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,_kza_,2019/03/18,"What was your tipping point in going to the doctor? Hello everyone, new person here. As the title states, what was the last straw that drove you to go to the doctor with concerns? 

Throughout my lifetime I have exhibited symptoms of bipolar disorder, or at least how google defines it anyway. My actions have certainly caused much trouble in my life at school when I was younger, in my marriage, and in my career. Whenever I try to explain myself to my wife I am always at a loss for words about why I do or say the things that I do. My actions are my own and not the result of something else, though.  

I honestly have no idea what to call it, or what to do about it. It would just be nice to talk to someone who understands what I am trying to say. Thank you.",4.658800000000003,5.432522613333332,5.285333333333334,83.88600000000002,69.53333333333333,7.866666666666667,29.666666666666664,7.908726449838941,1.8876666666666668,592,22,117,7,10,191,93,150,0.064,0.8640000000000001,0.07200000000000001,0.2869,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,3,0,1,8,6,0,0,7,0,14,5,0,3,1,17,20,9,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,1,13,3,0,0,3,0,0,5,2,2,0,0,4,2,20,4,24,14,3,17,0,1,0,0,13,8,0,3,3,94,33,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15228300274827045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18687860761210506,0.0,0.0,0.1880066480860668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20975085521571665,0.3746468748281046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15288540970342265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17487851664039178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080230952732208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20660147073707646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14918151622520429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292687895164811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13453696081204872,0.0,0.0,0.17675686693791742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15980149367764493,0.0,0.0,0.17300817357898596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.291081483057414,0.0,0.18522078251830115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506787478742468,0.14089376036800227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902224874640053,0.0,0.1471003909432836,0.0,0.16849547016015992,0.0,0.0,0.12158692341099288,0.0,0.17981114500797987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485101175048587,0.0,0.0,0.19052489636810327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651424213832794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13000848699137693,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Laura7777,2019/03/18,"Bipolar 3 checking in. How do people combat boredom, restlessness, and general apathy about everything during a depressive episode? Trying really hard not to blow up my entire life because I’m feeling low, restless, and dissatisfied for now for no discernible reason other than I’m in a low cycle. I don’t know how to cope. I’m newly diagnosed and having awareness has been helpful in decision making but not in emotional feels.",7.736842105263157,9.176192684210527,8.503789473684215,61.1675263157895,62.94736842105264,11.343157894736846,38.88421052631579,11.20814326018867,5.3051242105263166,348,18,46,10,5,117,59,76,0.254,0.705,0.040999999999999995,-0.8505,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,2,2,0,5,3,0,4,0,16,12,6,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,6,0,1,0,4,5,0,0,1,3,2,0,11,11,0,8,0,3,0,0,1,7,0,0,1,31,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913713046225075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.270390967733716,0.318636488409596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3531335916903021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821437133612564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3174690124733913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812232775703097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104233999899637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17252996324437192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22174092864438286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20955343973550772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176423668212712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20111421384209116,0.3227765254283281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131406368047814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RLRR__LRLL,2019/03/18,"Lost it during D&D Hey everyone,  BP1, long time sufferer and diagnosed almost for a decade now (around 7-8yrs ago)

​

I have been struggling, recently I have found out I am pre-diabetic, and that my years of self medication mixed with regular meds has done a number on my liver.   This has caused me to go on a diet, and change my regular intake of food, essentially being 275lbs at 5'8"" is not a great thing.  I've been agitated by just about everything, couple that with a mixed state and it's a powder keg waiting to explode in rage.

​

To get to the point; I was being nit-picked by 2 fairly pedantic friends who are playing characters in the game I am DM'ing.  I could tell that this was going to be something they were planning on doing for the entirety of the session, so I decided to try and nip it in the bud, what started off as a joke turned into a full on rage rant. No profanity or throwing specific individuals under the bus, more so a blanket warning that I will not be taking shit from anyone.  

​

My face turned red, a couple members laughed at the rant, others seemed stunned, and I felt like a prick.  I haven't apologized yet, but now I feel like a complete asshole.  I feel stretched thin, down, and exhausted.

​

So yeah,... I'm a dick head dungeon master... 

​",5.957259999999998,6.742270836000003,6.4101500000000025,76.93482500000002,66.64,9.29,33.625,9.354420925462401,3.07058,1039,45,189,19,16,337,164,250,0.139,0.7979999999999999,0.063,-0.9391,0,0,1,0,0,0,61.0,0,0,1,3,9,15,4,1,20,1,22,11,6,1,0,27,37,13,0,1,5,0,4,2,2,1,3,0,0,1,13,12,2,1,6,4,0,3,4,8,0,0,9,5,18,7,33,22,2,32,0,2,1,1,9,19,3,3,11,127,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980993867789187,0.0,0.07885992972029959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5119741986494815,0.4784686429858443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055066051642344516,0.0,0.0,0.0701070231308824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08090120513731162,0.08331041772886666,0.0,0.08257120651508139,0.0,0.0,0.06287800269540403,0.17427778229140936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07993281572534566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08059184139194271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525203439804108,0.07077827640122482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963994393486677,0.05626128454803414,0.07561539894323052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522865281469088,0.08634879242849207,0.06084450828996784,0.0,0.041145283953311435,0.0,0.08951448938280697,0.0,0.0,0.08682565437486567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082347869257203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694964746719953,0.0,0.0,0.06969408239095466,0.0,0.0,0.0859683944120325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747702471364702,0.07933553939364824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444720643462421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775926027744631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169393351250511,0.08215673781934292,0.0,0.08083900327516362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060628042285403215,0.0,0.0,0.055741903192304085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232991852439585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059212587269924524,0.0,0.06883374686148606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05232011066110975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04592161014229069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053468236893820666,0.17132168151696592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4784686429858443,0.05071446320973411
bipolarreddit,fckmelmao,2019/08/23,"Lamictal and feeling nauseous/sick I've been taking Lamictal 25 mg for 4 days now and have had like no side effects. Today I took it at like 11 am, it's now 6pm and I feel like absolute garbage. Like brutal nausea and diarrhea. I don't think I have a fever, and theres no rash or anything but I just randomly started getting some heart burn and now I feel like trash. Might take an epsom salt bath to see if that helps me but fuck me I feel like shit.",0.7381250000000001,2.7991382291666684,2.5352500000000013,93.98475000000002,83.375,5.923333333333334,22.1,7.1686216300943375,0.6341825000000005,354,12,80,5,10,117,69,96,0.168,0.654,0.177,-0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,5,9,3,0,2,0,7,5,3,1,0,20,19,10,0,1,5,0,4,6,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,6,0,0,6,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,3,6,9,6,3,15,1,9,0,0,1,1,1,2,2,5,12,42,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15158690278471867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879846185847168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3725629590770985,0.3947931706827357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17029666974763866,0.09624070525620976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21828652354746053,0.12347026241796677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.539966258334497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954148228395704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14678935936931714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18908613430008064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13038286676154928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770019118287683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803259237209107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17460697050628451,0.0,0.20466107515560414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lma0mahn,2019/08/23,"I am insecure about my cognition and a media clip has me more confused?? I'm having a difficult time coping with the cognitive impairment that comes with having this illness.  It takes a stab at my self-confidence and occasionally, creates an inferiority complex that I have amongst my peers. 

I was watching some interview earlier today that mentioned something like: 

>The medical community refers to bipolar illness as the CEO personality. 

To elaborate, they meant that if you had a list of 11 traits that biPolars tend to have and gave that list to a sample of CEOs, nearly all of them will circle between 9 and 11 of those traits.  

I'm not saying that I look at the CEO personality as the epitome of what everyone needs to strive for.  What I'm saying is that intelligence is a heavily respected virtue according to society.  It is the driver behind how we support ourselves and our loved ones.  If I have a mental illness in common with a CEO and the difference between me and the CEO is my cognitive impairment that somehow, they are able to better manage, I don't know how to feel.  I've been diagnosed for almost 5 years now and have taken a tremendous amount of time off from school and work to recenter myself. 

As much as I would like to believe that it is possible, I can't help but have the thought floating in my head that these messages that the self-help industry is helping to promote is spoonfed b.s. from people at the top (in socioeconomic status) who can't REALLY understand what the majority of the BD population is going through because of privilege and luck.  There must be a reason why only a small fraction of us make it and the rest of us don't. 

TL;DR - How realistic is the experience of a better life with bipolar disorder when you don't have privilege or luck in your favor??  I feel like someone is trying to manipulate me when someone tries to make the argument that BD is a gift and cites random famous people. 

Anyone have any insights??",8.977659703300032,7.9817417356948255,9.338233424159856,64.42692627914019,60.79836512261581,12.624220405691796,40.00741749924311,11.750952952430431,4.879090342113232,1575,72,265,41,18,528,200,367,0.063,0.7909999999999999,0.146,0.9857,0,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,4,3,3,5,9,17,0,2,29,0,35,11,1,7,2,50,56,25,0,5,5,0,2,3,0,3,9,2,0,2,24,18,0,0,10,0,0,2,6,4,0,1,7,7,28,13,50,45,7,22,0,1,2,1,22,11,0,10,12,197,52,10,0.12225098333857495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12241670069562667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08313486083507779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08548073002727502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452306475059181,0.0,0.0,0.13773499447052293,0.0,0.2162421202843706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530839730434002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12408217472567065,0.0,0.12772625779337415,0.1401102182345014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681605353080447,0.0,0.11958491982964407,0.0,0.0,0.12362754081407056,0.0873361269239794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947805110632874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546477831492495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458267715751481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718594330346309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634948492313403,0.17917696597061522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266003630747876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033628546012356,0.0,0.16320696134588394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231550042578638,0.1232002374671354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986853913227942,0.09064755510896808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284043019053493,0.0929773816692778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16950687802528633,0.21348968642199326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13781961516646335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783171103420267,0.125694371744578,0.12070809757832125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944377774920304,0.0,0.12372452180714524,0.0,0.0,0.2550688751418119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071657229266776,0.09411477961669436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13872896715291838,0.0,0.0,0.09191752514801108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705362520347698,0.1425710630021773,0.0,0.11587963777268492,0.0,0.0,0.16600078584317668,0.0,0.0,0.12726758506794633,0.2941057611794834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11031249753899226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900017187266691,0.0,0.0,0.08684359101165788,0.0,0.0,0.07872562511411031
bipolarreddit,Amethystpony,2019/08/23,"Help with a guide for SO help A dear friend and I are creating a plan for our SO's to follow when we are experiencing an episode. We are working on a plan tailored to our personal experiences which includes instructions to call our pdoc, adjust medication in a preplanned way, and to inform our support net so they are prepared for the erratic behaviors that come with episodes.

We have listed what we consider the warning signs that an episode is coming or has already begun, and a list of environmental events that can trigger an episode.

Mostly we have been focused on mania since it comes with the energy to act on the thoughts and ideas that easily mess up the stability we have worked so hard to achieve.

I am posting here to try and get input from other people with BP. It would be very much appreciated if you would comment with what helps you cope with an episode, whether it's depression or mania, and what you would want your SO to do or not do that is helpful, and maybe ways that you find easier to explain to them what is happening.

Thank you in advance for your help!",6.9536245954692575,7.193873699029126,6.9147087378640775,76.06326051779938,64.4368932038835,10.167637540453077,35.127831715210355,9.928628108626363,3.350121035598706,866,37,162,17,12,276,120,206,0.045,0.75,0.205,0.9877,0,0,0,1,0,0,13.0,10,7,2,6,7,6,0,0,15,0,20,1,0,1,0,41,31,18,0,5,6,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,15,22,0,0,6,0,0,6,1,2,0,0,2,2,21,4,28,25,2,19,0,1,0,0,30,7,0,5,3,121,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16399532044057313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15174787901749515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3840442160399553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799795769816108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453695303881331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13582725355535025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148160604279094,0.0,0.07764282334558402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13141572487877048,0.0,0.13312576780165225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4980522403607667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16776310240560496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492991656482642,0.0,0.0,0.1497093877674382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924577571267086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302777010344287,0.1297609075713143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423277256776995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293209501507095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16864137079306946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368205304372339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11798009262701295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089673646334488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261918008496725,0.08765429026378299,0.2359201064781995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163803464186548,0.0,0.0,0.3167057868308488,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Fuckyousantorum,2019/08/23,"Any experience with Lithium Orotate? I’m taking 8 tablets of 125mg lithium orotate a day. They contain 5mg of lithium per tablet so that’s only 40mg of lithium a day.

A typical prescription for bipolar disorder might be written as 900 mg of lithium per day but that’s 900 mg of lithium-carbonate (not 900 mg of lithium), it actually contains 170 mg of lithium attached to 730 mg of carbonate.

So 40mg of lithium is still 25% of a bipolar dose.",6.15123595505618,5.858196033707866,7.792449438202247,70.89833707865168,66.19101123595507,10.266067415730339,45.88988764044944,9.888512548439397,4.951609438202247,353,25,63,7,5,124,49,89,0.024,0.976,0.0,-0.2144,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,3,3,0,0,0,6,6,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,14,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,30,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.3035460649849741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21152894123410929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6018167147873814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35649745271142536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3042727349879346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.329981563908837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23657232243689014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24840995201825156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338756158380981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,annacchii,2019/08/23,"Struggling with BPD on a life that’s too much for me I’ve had so many problems with my manic episodes and its been such a struggle because I dont know if its the cause or the effect but life is getting too much for me. Im not sure when it started, - hecc, I dont even know who I was BEFORE it started so I never knew what normal is. I cant understand how people just “feel normal”, in general or after a high or a low point. Like, this is the only normal I know.
Im also terrified of getting professional help, one because my family is very unwelcoming of such “weakness” (once, I gathered up the courage to ask if I can get medical help and my mom said Im just being weak and too sensitive), and two, because the thought of rebuilding everything I am from scratch is terrifying.

Also, again Im not sure if this is a cause or the result so Im not quite sure if this belongs here, life is just too much for me. Everything is happening all at once and I just want it to stop for a little bit so I can catch up but anytime I feel like Im about to get a hold of stuff, what do you know, I forgot to deal with THIS stuff and then I try to deal with it and everything falls apart again, its a vicious cycle.
I deal with my family, everything else takes a hit. I deal with my studies, my passion plops. I deal with my passion, I disappoint my family. I try to take care of my mental health, everything else falls apart. Im also graduating from college and that just adds to all the things Im already struggling with. I know life isnt this 2-dimensional thing and its not supposed to be easy but damn this is just too overwhelming.",2.559226091763404,4.017568999999998,4.219038142620232,86.91312327252626,75.41791044776119,7.589828634604754,25.84024322830293,8.285830014693849,1.5574588170259809,1265,45,272,22,27,425,149,335,0.14300000000000002,0.7559999999999999,0.10099999999999999,-0.9179999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,0,2,27,21,2,4,16,0,22,10,0,5,6,69,47,30,0,9,21,1,3,2,0,0,8,1,0,0,23,18,0,3,11,0,0,3,9,12,0,2,7,4,33,9,34,37,6,23,0,3,0,2,13,11,1,8,11,187,56,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06977870191570104,0.15170116524373756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059113907474753334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563794431925932,0.0,0.053806250936866085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06903357801353373,0.0,0.07963919527822498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06446980875976915,0.12991451387581204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32594996216907896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14821617788160651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564537947207034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04176450926723744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841467366285311,0.0,0.17883008896256852,0.0,0.06394456413742218,0.04517335322558507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13214561029107394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05591634364149089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721325398617572,0.0,0.0,0.08476690365363104,0.06680867094487944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5464161211934689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737548054588715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17865210746867105,0.06178446925882555,0.06337563652672222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06410789071000901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06370015141250125,0.06372354763823189,0.0,0.0,0.07405720959339697,0.0,0.0,0.13944962085243787,0.0,0.0487688481410766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18586344864615026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13468122461141446,0.042848018868684064,0.04809121095777751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043837495117384405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597752074085347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06050501981074754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06725561060338921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060148644307200974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951266230768297,0.0,0.0,0.052865251207267684,0.0,0.19831320172014053,0.14477230501060598,0.0,0.0,0.17878781734017185,0.0,0.09508603088723988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08401780580314154,0.0,0.0,0.05019958919126805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858615145728384,0.0,0.061769022696548985,0.06582732457835883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05217348393423886,0.03729620196184345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,zykos,2019/08/23,"Worsening Memory - meds? My memory has been getting so bad to the point of me forgetting my thoughts mid sentence. I can be listening to someone speak and forget what they were talking about and have no clue what they are talking about. Today I “remembered” that I had an appointment with my psych and drove 2 hours just to find out I forgot that I don’t have one. 

I’m curious to know if anyone has anything to share about their memory. Context: I’ve been taking at least 3mg of Klonopin a day since I was 19, I’m now 27. I was put on a Lamictal eventually 3 years ago with a dose of 600mg in addition to my Klonopin. I have tried just about every single mood stabilizer, antipsychotic, and whatever else out there too. Back to my point. 

I want to know if my memory getting so bad is related to my Bipolar Disorder (BD1) or medication. Feel free to say/ask whatever else you can think of as well.",4.044468452895419,5.293468269662924,5.5275280898876415,79.82045375972345,71.35955056179776,9.971305099394993,29.422644770959376,10.214889679676881,3.0200841832324987,704,28,142,20,13,238,113,178,0.107,0.823,0.071,-0.8512,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,3,0,13,6,0,0,5,0,17,3,0,0,0,25,31,10,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,9,0,1,7,0,1,2,2,2,1,1,9,3,21,4,26,21,2,17,0,0,0,0,9,8,0,3,7,93,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530876714866636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207554938958938,0.0,0.1421169594644328,0.0,0.1614507037805652,0.0,0.0,0.13279524223536515,0.2883937090928397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137687938881337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979285693672735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885365152729113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14550676279789418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732204758531215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578441986415917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18045670379781648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17007420297965545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18982223862343006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19183019317326164,0.17397656009914786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170256391003502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32651366546388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17361068021626228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19563484835606906,0.0,0.0,0.1373375604395181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285879686935293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632771141711504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12984851841338624,0.2776186052049921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11065885533296484,0.0,0.13710409869093668,0.0,0.0,0.1636989165540929,0.0,0.0,0.1172516125868556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186262949464832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15527757548736185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121280480272032
bipolarreddit,laundryisdrying,2019/08/23,"Bipolar and OCD I've had bipolar 1 since 2012 and have worked hard to manage things with lifestyle changes, psychological and behavioural interventions etc, so things in the mood cycling department are slightly balanced. I haven't been manic in 2.5 years and have managed to contain a hypomanic episode without it progressing to anything dangerous in January to May 2017. From May 2017 to May 2018 I was depressed but have come out of this episode finally with the help of Lamictal, Wellbutrin and Amisulpride. 

​

I developed OCD after a psychotic depressive episode in 2015 and have not been able to overcome it through the typical treatment like CBT, ACT and Exposure Therapy. The issue is that while I feel my bipolar disorder is relatively under control, I believe that due to the way my OCD impacts my quality of life (not wanting to leave the house, not wanting to be in the same physical space as people etc) that I end up in a depressed episode due to that. 

​

So I was wondering if someone with bipolar disorder and co-morbid OCD has had any success in treating the OCD whilst their mood was relatively stable? I have started zoloft in the past few weeks but I am starting to have side effects like I had when I was on cipralex in 2012 which made me experience full blown mania so am worried about that and trying to investigate any other potential treatment options. Thank you! :)",8.907552646556631,9.230783127490042,8.091385885031302,68.98411354581677,60.35458167330678,11.155492316448493,44.62179852020489,10.7630783206399,5.167039612976664,1139,67,180,25,14,355,147,251,0.09300000000000001,0.812,0.095,0.5536,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,1,5,5,11,1,0,12,0,26,6,0,3,0,34,35,18,0,3,7,0,2,2,0,3,6,0,0,0,12,14,0,2,3,0,0,3,5,4,0,0,10,2,17,5,37,21,5,33,0,3,0,0,3,16,0,6,15,129,29,4,0.12163057601264562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635733565859673,0.295588925970669,0.16542592515754428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10009160046168508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703600786712125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12866902178254155,0.10477397132767084,0.0,0.0,0.13641903345598475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31428071067798824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2787983553788328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772858847957964,0.0,0.2713004876896825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118978042418053,0.0,0.0,0.06150007382189104,0.0,0.0,0.1332403507662668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895710542746473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08152641123877079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403453542848603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12695072074147587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878921792863146,0.0,0.0,0.08591127288120576,0.11884511128414768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508979192745973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611014759061787,0.0843233266894112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10061406937335204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305719234937674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721814954617793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11198109280918883,0.13909516388026916,0.0,0.161611900212252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257917707188878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348173014363735,0.09654468980153688,0.09756471143409788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11724753487896356,0.13190317127271234,0.08854850795037479,0.12352175402950158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.295588925970669,0.07832610313706502
bipolarreddit,can_it_be_fixed,2019/08/23,"Don't let others define your illness! 35(m), recently divorced and lost my job on monday due to a nervous breakdown. I'm in the first week of 30 day outpatient treatment program, seeing the psychiatrist tues. Ex (43f) didn't believe my need for mental health care and we got in plenty of fights over it throughout our 8 years. The irony is that she's a nurse. She left me for my boss while I was at work one day (job prior to the one I lost). My untreated bipolar disorder likely scared her away. She's since admitted in a letter from 2 weeks ago that therapy could've helped me and couples counseling probably would've saved our marriage. The admission's too little, too late. So now I'm making a sincere effort to stay alive and unharmed while waiting for some new brain drugs. 

On the plus side, I'm getting in touch with my old hometown friends and it feels like a victory to have the opportunity to see a therapist 3x a week after being told for years that I wasn't permitted or the relationship would suffer or end. 

I spend lots of time right now laying on my back staring at the ceiling while ugly crying. I've read a bunch of your stories and I think you're all very strong. Much respect.",5.5320512820512855,6.224020581196584,5.924769230769233,80.3702307692308,67.54700854700855,8.804102564102564,30.98461538461539,8.841846274778883,2.4397302564102556,952,36,181,15,15,306,156,234,0.11,0.772,0.11800000000000001,0.4308,2,0,1,0,2,0,24.0,3,2,0,7,6,15,1,2,17,0,9,5,1,3,1,24,26,13,0,2,2,1,2,2,1,1,4,0,0,0,6,9,0,1,3,1,1,0,3,6,0,3,7,5,22,9,28,16,5,41,0,3,3,0,19,15,0,4,27,107,28,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10973247484630733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11630489534813294,0.09518696337066533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13946907764605734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13819071696280252,0.0,0.0,0.12621228043443808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883634020931398,0.13697141641823748,0.13597763722477105,0.15966877668601645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14187420547024274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14355724175405934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964130599840337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259200559476841,0.08843568850524207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529581526605232,0.0,0.0,0.09563994184655047,0.0,0.06467522994517065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990062696936538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158311191250224,0.0,0.0,0.08297390996890389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24568519161743335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13964065050370794,0.0,0.13449833069182618,0.12658378766123324,0.0,0.12095520229701595,0.12407022393733445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27026308448494,0.105241935678437,0.0,0.0,0.08263086825475424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12475132809471973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099998377580096,0.09178880756134633,0.0,0.11955727204275735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12989691020097807,0.0,0.16776678192627575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13346668960773714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382362222477444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12222781217203063,0.132904264790856,0.0,0.10571608854424808,0.0,0.0,0.1239355083438668,0.0,0.19728940151552596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024004688411872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194380016825205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415647939059877,0.1437298737627315,0.0,0.07931971230226442,0.0,0.0,0.07218301613315521,0.0,0.0,0.11828676730139565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213981570950426,0.0,0.0,0.29789090895829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012068377494237,0.0,0.0,0.17587390313446424,0.0,0.0,0.15943356100579173
bipolarreddit,nippcole,2019/08/23,"Could I have bipolar II disorder This is my first reddit post, I've always browsed reddit without an account but I feel like I really do want responses this time.

I've gone to psychotherapy for a year, been on 3 different antidepressants and I've never thought I could be bipolar until recently, when the three SSRIs I've taken (Prozac, Zoloft, Lexapro) haven't produced any positive effects. Prozac produced an almost manic state (I don't believe I've ever had a manic episode) and made me want to commit suicide. I was scared to go down staircases because I thought I would impulsively toss myself off of them without time to think, I kept having flashing images of me throwing myself over my bunk bed or overdosing on medication. I've never had these types of intrusive suicidal visuals, even with my worst depressive episodes it was like a vague sense of not wanting to wake up or just not exist, not necessarily thinking of specific actions to kill myself. Zoloft made me a zombie basically, I slept like basically 12 hours a day every single day and the hours that I was awake I felt like I was dumbed down and had no thoughts going on upstairs. And Lexapro has just not produced any effect at all, except for teeth grinding at night every single night and waking up with aching jaws. I also went nearly a year without self harm but while I was on Lexapro, I somehow gave into the self harm urge again so I'm back at square one. 

I'm going to see my psychiatrist next week, I kind of just wanted other people's input, and especially people who have been diagnosed with bipolar II disorder, albeit being strangers on the internet. I guess I never had a clear understanding of what bipolar really was, so the depression diagnosis made sense to me. My mom also has depression, Zoloft works perfectly fine for her. I also was diagnosed with body dysmorphia disorder and general anxiety disorder, and I'm pretty certain that these two diagnoses are correct. 

I feel like all of my possibly hypomanic periods have resulted in productivity and creativity, so I never thought of them as anything outside of the norm, I thought I was just doing exceptionally well and being ""not depressed"". I'm in my second year of college now and I feel like I haven't really had a ""hypomanic"" period since high school. During these periods, I feel really good and overconfident in myself, I think I'm super smart and creative without evidence and I start a bunch of things, some finished and some not (buying a physical trainer book and studying to become a physical trainer despite only working out for a year and having no background knowledge in kinesiology or anatomy or anything of the sort, paying for SAT subject/AP tests and studying in incredibly short periods of time because I'm confident I can score well on them, stubbornly trying to teach myself to write with my left hand for two weeks, making a random timer app in two days literally working day and night even though I had no background in Swift or app development). I also tend to be an impulsive person, although these impulses are rarely dangerous or harmful to others or myself. I've chopped my long hair short multiple times just because I felt tired of it, I constantly change my clothing style and buy a bunch of new clothes (although never spending an absurd amount of money because I'm Asian and I would get an ass whooping), I also feel like my past with self harming was always done in moments of impulse/loss of control, I've stolen things here and there since I was young, just typical teenage impulses I guess. My therapist said I seem like I tend to work in extremes, especially in regards to my body dysmorphia/eating disorder.

Reasons that I feel like these episodes could just be normal and not necessarily hypomanic are that during these ""good"" periods I never feel the need to not sleep, I only stay up late when I feel like something I'm working on isn't finished, but I am never completely filled with energy to the point of not needing sleep. I also never talk fast or talk excessively, but this is probably because I'm pretty reserved/introverted naturally. I usually don't feel more social or do risky things like take drugs. No one has ever commented on my episodes, probably because I hide my depressive ones well enough to where the contrast seen from the outside is nowhere near what I actually experience inside. Basically I just feel hyper-productive, but it's never sustainable. 

If I did truly have hypomanic episodes, I always characterized these periods as ""good"" and just simply ""not depressed right now"". I would dismiss the questions that therapists/psychiatrists would ask me about feeling ""on top of the world"" because I never felt like I was extreme enough to say yes to that, and to me I guess I thought that misdiagnosing depressive disorder for bipolar disorder would turn out worse to me than having bipolar disorder and misdiagnosing it as depression. But now I'm realizing perhaps that's not true at all. 

If anyone with a bipolar diagnosis relates or disagrees with anything I've said, please let me know, it would make me feel a lot better before actually talking to my psychiatrist next week.",10.734633874803913,9.047389653560048,10.390152573250344,60.475675699610356,57.884165781083965,13.467749607813367,44.08382672941653,12.20465563037327,5.569035807904459,4188,204,660,106,42,1375,400,941,0.14,0.7240000000000001,0.135,-0.902,1,0,2,0,0,3,93.0,0,0,3,16,38,44,4,1,34,1,62,30,12,13,21,177,134,64,3,18,44,1,17,12,0,6,18,3,1,4,31,39,0,3,33,1,6,8,34,18,3,9,43,23,92,26,108,76,15,118,0,8,3,1,22,44,2,24,75,460,123,15,0.0,0.0,0.07575190355794828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0388656772316454,0.0,0.0,0.18623276036813385,0.09688673591977967,0.0,0.0,0.05278842918577894,0.0,0.029691887854704495,0.0,0.0,0.02713899691698012,0.0,0.0958195341757527,0.0,0.0362849756212543,0.0,0.0,0.029844850559944187,0.0,0.1656205856811733,0.042865979989168836,0.03302705889217525,0.04372903213511496,0.0,0.0343270011489504,0.0,0.08622512902975883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041059075464154236,0.0,0.04069475933373299,0.041943133775075865,0.043532151809490674,0.09296722047804604,0.0,0.0,0.10012486186216182,0.0,0.2674370823763981,0.11818332937462092,0.0,0.04055139111897791,0.35586507316821153,0.0,0.0,0.03971924025487586,0.0,0.0,0.04501083210590223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020854134915477,0.0,0.0512713256602966,0.07021727726486353,0.0654033611154165,0.0,0.0,0.037966624402230593,0.0,0.0,0.23550061736274466,0.16636836479341566,0.11179988491594614,0.0,0.0,0.033014372556098244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020278224079144237,0.0,0.06617507644719929,0.0976636702595636,0.0,0.0,0.12827089802335356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04100813328164223,0.0,0.0,0.07644609982386352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0429409048712158,0.0404178336187517,0.02133064501900361,0.0,0.04378282696284557,0.0,0.042170507787167896,0.039688987780289633,0.0,0.22754523156359585,0.0,0.0,0.034348340415338824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032997479189783484,0.0,0.11017757933738846,0.05181604344490687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03910007881072592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04545739166070484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05755879056833304,0.29935027838100153,0.03748589923575946,0.08255626814071408,0.10927029436592647,0.03802856209366128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890221031657829,0.05903816857123894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037051461540870495,0.05381618335111707,0.03389007054434855,0.0,0.04260508911521893,0.036690891132521115,0.04375589808262742,0.03717218655382026,0.07897367962048599,0.08369409559924969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04347951465842445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945857109273028,0.03990629427438688,0.03832321842580578,0.0,0.0,0.03314614473096263,0.07384022425756216,0.03086570647101957,0.03885864822885323,0.03928089307154451,0.030928986999843106,0.03533395590443703,0.12147147223501355,0.0,0.0,0.06421313553060122,0.0,0.07768218900331009,0.03956503107779863,0.0,0.029880193033502974,0.0,0.0,0.027472086589902744,0.04136956216365848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491038517545564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029182593911076332,0.09358941230346957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04506495901906595,0.07735702558539903,0.07460953295359764,0.03813363848321152,0.18487942494209916,0.09052883937776574,0.044609907632047925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026351522815591142,0.04221746836598532,0.11374417180848033,0.04040576861812519,0.0,0.0,0.04274710671583504,0.0,0.09157180343923887,0.0,0.0934004967298492,0.0,0.10469281785375456,0.035980099337867784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965763525326248,0.0,0.14128186488886532,0.0,0.039553828282978216,0.165430123114731,0.0,0.0,0.09997736315903953
bipolarreddit,Kyiahn,2019/08/23,Do you ever find yourself wishing for a mania? I spend most my life in a depressive state where I don’t do a thing. My house is dirty. My hair is dirty. My friends are absent. And everyone thinks a mania is great. I’m there. I’m talkative I’m into projects but we all know how horrible those can turn out but some days I just wish for a change. Where’s the normal? Does it ever come? What is it?,-1.0413736263736268,1.0396694047619055,1.1180952380952398,98.55510989010992,99.0,4.4893772893772885,15.985347985347984,6.297961479604792,-0.40189267399267337,306,8,71,4,13,101,58,84,0.136,0.75,0.114,-0.4234,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,1,0,0,7,3,0,0,6,0,9,2,1,1,3,20,18,4,0,3,3,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,9,2,5,18,3,10,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,2,3,47,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23065154859274326,0.1878173814034386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061418931183564,0.0,0.18779276111286847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908034254614587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3944493039850868,0.0,0.20834127041771436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992795466290738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684528831210315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403837621402537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515824932461907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982603725236145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15400418731023982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21362747793276315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14485240712395628,0.13970767827405484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371588825661894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5014577378870162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,my-cat-fat-chicken,2019/08/07,"Coping? I've dealt with anxiety and BPD since I was 12. I'm almost 22 now and I havent taken meds since I was young. These days the only ways I find myself to be calm are my fiancee, my therapy, and my job. My brain however, has decided to start pulling the most egregious shit on me. The immediate thought of suicide if my fiancee ever left me is honestly debilitating and I know it's extremely unhealthy to think like that. I've never told him that because I'm scared of what he would say. Idk how to cope with these thoughts... I'm honestly scared and my family doesnt understand what I go through mentally so I really cant talk to them.. any advice would be helpful..",2.218529914529917,4.3903555481481495,4.105925925925926,84.12128205128204,78.7037037037037,8.005698005698006,26.680911680911684,8.841846274778883,2.2464928774928774,529,22,107,13,13,179,91,135,0.15,0.773,0.077,-0.8799,2,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,1,0,4,7,1,2,3,0,12,2,2,1,2,22,24,8,1,3,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,0,0,7,7,0,0,7,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,6,1,18,4,11,14,1,11,0,0,0,0,9,2,1,3,7,63,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625496637434763,0.0,0.0,0.16656972553660346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311978572477033,0.0,0.1272528864258351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140190326250206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20950474404518896,0.18569518245437824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072782719079392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504678862563685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15681454290939753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15203561954586606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945372636073072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149703604748044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16507098843701132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09141844268292268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18073350082083145,0.0,0.0,0.0812673920976779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18477094830025045,0.0,0.1676358668738263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12829493079984158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12651228841945836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656437806575617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13228361427303076,0.3330792015600485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17074996941989967,0.2752033445198285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773930751094687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819535971235687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13370119713946352,0.0,0.0,0.19022913268888295,0.0,0.0,0.10658667073970343,0.0,0.2641174875750115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15894904751007075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17317021774000058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13203631308470526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363323474203332,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FoxyOctopus,2019/08/07,"Anyone else tried having anxiety coming back to you years after having gotten rid of it? So several years ago I struggled with a lot of social anxiety, but got pretty much over it around three years ago. 

But today, on a totally normal day without much happening it all of a sudden came back as I walked out the door to do my grocery shopping.. I felt like a target and like everyone was looking at me strange and I got really scared about eye contact and my heart just raced out of my chest.. i felt the exact same fleeing instinct I used to feel. I don't get it. I haven't felt like this since I was a teenager. I'm so mystified.

I got everything done though, but it was painful, didn't even look the lady at the register in the eye. Phew. Now it's over.

Has anyone else tried this? 

I know not all of you have anxiety, but I'm wondering if this is like a mini episode of some kind? I don't know what to guess honestly..",1.7804137115839254,3.8223980106382953,3.484397163120569,88.68388888888893,79.53191489361703,6.943735224586287,23.21040189125296,7.984000788550335,1.256045153664302,718,24,150,13,18,239,109,188,0.08900000000000001,0.7929999999999999,0.11900000000000001,0.8641,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,0,10,9,0,2,11,0,14,5,4,1,4,34,35,12,0,2,8,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,10,9,0,0,7,1,1,4,6,3,0,1,13,8,18,6,24,22,8,25,0,0,4,0,4,9,0,5,16,103,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048415582339713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651673393583949,0.0,0.0,0.16157893901405754,0.2367723288110031,0.0,0.10285664285952853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17768892871245748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13214896730442682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952897629838203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451486231283208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823931294254747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19304059177963304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631422807719589,0.0,0.0,0.11040508184297287,0.10384146370646427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058421374242126976,0.0,0.3328145627834508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06036578915979394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772278478279029,0.0,0.1272822504113151,0.0,0.10217317710104287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13691751553369014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031893981458368,0.12699743476884595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257914272846617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19405191954273526,0.0,0.0,0.09822945361491532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698729432832842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11320637115146065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12294455525358733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754748528611185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07401899581153441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11567743589686907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13052927599810374,0.0,0.09557731943390996,0.0,0.0,0.1177802511118064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078931108668915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113519170692116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095200574367428,0.0,0.0,0.15689051113322194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979096407733784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137811206484413,0.12530008589849126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22321527275967784
bipolarreddit,JessL777,2019/08/07,"I hate being bipolar !!!! I just want to function normal always, whys this disorders gotta exist !!!  Any one wanna read a crazy book about mentally ill people , chk out  :  life in distortion by J. Costello  on Amazon.     Thats exactly whats its like and how much it can make ppl crazy !!! I hate it , please help me , ive lost my mind folks !!!  Need like minded people to talk too, cuz no one understands me that doesnt know what living with bipolar is...  really feel so alone.",2.0514896214896226,4.275475516483517,3.524761904761906,87.80079365079365,79.54945054945055,6.681807081807082,20.001221001221,7.793537801064563,0.8228305250305246,356,9,71,6,9,117,75,91,0.21899999999999997,0.66,0.121,-0.9121,0,1,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,5,5,2,0,1,0,5,4,0,3,1,17,15,4,0,4,1,0,1,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,3,0,2,1,1,7,2,9,12,1,3,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,39,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19602935514955105,0.0,0.0,0.15748998413393506,0.0,0.0,0.12871187365328135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21692282305864705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957019248813881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3737350587367111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686544908576644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401928335342926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368885064354186,0.1849380855310002,0.0,0.16713119319686376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066134258186464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263409451647501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19074228596330764,0.0,0.3822227860888294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13913715543646274,0.14034325123019184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18544698354971775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25651205467751664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624356094254405,0.0,0.0,0.20776450187164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893238422398021,0.0,0.12125288849921008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521301643496552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19703947495527696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11163789656436347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,toxicbaby731,2019/08/07,"Being bipolar is exhausting. I’m on a throwaway because my main is watched by my IRL family/friends. This could be sexual TMI so just a warning**. 
I’m SO tired of being bipolar. I know this is a statement that’s bland and cliche, but it’s the truth. I’m bipolar 2, and my hypersexuality is the WORST. I am constantly thinking about sex and everything involving how to get it. I can’t sleep at night without being turned on hoping the person sleeping next to me is secretly jerking off. Every room I walk into, I immediately wonder who thinks I’m hot and who could I get in bed. My relationships fail because I can’t provide the loyalty relationships require because my attention is widespread, and doesn’t discriminate against ANYTHING (age, gender, marital status). For the love of God anywhere and everywhere I go I’m thinking about being bent over and railed from behind by nearly anyone and everyone I see. I’m on medication, and the meds are great at keeping everything else regulated, but on or off meds, the hypersexuality doesn’t stop, slow down or even pause for a hot minute and my brain is so tired of thinking about it. Some people dream of having a high sex drive because medications take theirs away, but i’m at the point that if it was possible, I’d donate my sex drive and all the things that are associated with it.",4.721679841897231,6.611432027667988,6.0407332015810296,74.28457806324111,70.6205533596838,8.854466403162055,31.22707509881423,9.3871,3.0293685375494075,1065,47,190,24,20,358,142,253,0.096,0.797,0.106,0.5547,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,2,9,8,1,0,14,0,23,15,3,1,2,40,45,21,0,4,8,0,2,0,0,0,8,0,2,1,13,13,0,3,9,1,1,4,5,4,0,0,1,4,18,4,33,37,4,29,0,1,2,4,9,19,0,6,6,128,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08561838397211881,0.0,0.1007641475498086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504378607751622,0.0,0.0,0.2985722920503533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13669229685113554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323226257600382,0.0,0.19552928955724244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228946674637916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808756502786635,0.0,0.10316759499580616,0.1170041683326372,0.22009646470257846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460290538352883,0.0,0.12794789584832084,0.0,0.06958993512757881,0.0,0.0,0.1349991872157627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12937287667735065,0.0,0.1216183440219258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883727547029927,0.0,0.0,0.06729413622753874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051396556355916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27202391554480704,0.2467066539855999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13022467791641912,0.1149090126456226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488992176396554,0.10691673983325332,0.0,0.0,0.11575279716023353,0.13804155306636734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629263327501761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975750832988378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450725613119012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023718856882784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09206554458973633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813489108160782,0.3138385529351093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814715821874553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13318809932242412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803535811097085,0.13278947035619718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MuunFl0wer,2019/08/07,"BPD / BIPOLAR2 + More, A story. 27 female. 
BPD. BIPOLAR2. PTSD. Anxiety. Depression. 
Extremely aware of self / trends / patterns. 

“Having these disorders intertwined is similar to a house fire. You’re standing in the house, center floor with full sharp instincts. You can see the flames grow and close in upon you but you have [seemingly] two choices.. you can stay and bear the flames or you can jump out the nearest window which would be the absolute end to trying to withstand the flames or helping the flames die down with what water [support] comes.”

When we feel trapped in ourselves, some people do NOT see the support. They can’t ask for help or help themselves. Sometimes people must jump out of the window. I understand and hold nothing but respect, sadness and wishes that they could have stayed. 

Sometimes people stand in the flames completely taken by their illness and cannot a move or see anything around to help them until their episode allows them to reach for an extinguisher. 

As a person with these immeshing illnesses I find myself as of late (due to unfortunate circumstances I am off my meds for a week now and am fully withdrawing with symptoms ringing like a bell constantly) feeling trapped in all levels / stages of this metaphorical burning building. 

I am extremely aware yet I can only watch myself suffering. 
Today is my chance to get my meds bridged.  
I am literally praying for this to happen because I am so unwell... I’m on my last legs but I do NOT want to fully express that to my loved ones. I want today to be the day I get back on my medicine and begin my journey again of much more palatable symptoms. 
Prior to my being ripped from my medicine I was doing pretty well. Even on my worst days while on meds have never been THIS excruciating now that I am without. 

I’ve had delusional thinking/ paranoia / brain zaps / confusion / skin tingles - crawling / mood swings / suicidal ideation / nausea / headaches / irritability / dizziness / “whooshing”. Etc. for a week. 
I am laying here 3am - waiting for 8am so I can be first into the doors so I may get my meds bridged. Then at 1pm I have relationship therapy. As I type all this I find myself feeling angry. I want to punch stuff. I feel the need to yell. I’m itchy. It’s triggering. My head hurts. I’m tired of it. I can feel my eyes wanting to cry.",3.4612121212121214,6.21863488811189,3.9163449883449917,83.9642610722611,77.74125874125876,6.517296037296037,27.94825174825175,7.715138304826218,1.9686469930069928,1833,79,321,29,45,574,243,429,0.177,0.715,0.109,-0.988,0,2,1,0,0,0,69.0,1,5,6,1,13,13,0,1,21,0,36,13,5,2,4,57,68,24,2,9,10,0,8,1,0,3,6,2,3,2,14,18,1,2,10,0,0,6,6,6,1,3,4,15,49,6,55,56,9,58,1,4,5,1,22,23,0,8,25,218,63,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06534454863033706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029174928544953,0.0760401441318179,0.07985431460727993,0.0,0.0,0.06568118195523963,0.0,0.05207002988342484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21516200252991366,0.09535475556683272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358005756961325,0.08955916489027313,0.09230653025789068,0.0,0.06819933544679631,0.0,0.09382767992739807,0.1101751080475871,0.0,0.07357041223016705,0.0,0.08865041509987008,0.0,0.09789644689009824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565500898530136,0.0,0.09526366734940653,0.05641779413531405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21594957769607356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15614103874568472,0.07265652098474483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13388216397293473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755348696707859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766352776874403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290155830261425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19712184461562976,0.09144175305092908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06962708383288982,0.09635524287466253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041730928108120784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709309460584286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3795206397527489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078583323898147,0.06279207026520421,0.06333637672014669,0.06587963998413453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196089032660482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057881458445288476,0.06496425043984046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17765429200533414,0.07458371706128678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690083085538558,0.0,0.0,0.09984908997156657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170698265016564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042012995254617,0.07776135391585898,0.08910961992381178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16896120440460682,0.0,0.0,0.18208848018335866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778319252263452,0.09343344587028504,0.1938627051779096,0.0,0.17756404971193668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09768294583353283,0.0,0.0,0.05473241578339756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09817544417928732,0.16193258347325906,0.0,0.0,0.05799322604655476,0.0,0.08344099015110859,0.08892316734231802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20152703635026456,0.0,0.1370343605976821,0.0,0.07680105489831912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09822650317756787,0.08233991951406505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060678507979974615,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,elle_uranus,2019/08/07,Inpatient Care? Please help me: I am going to go into inpatient Care for the first time in the next day or so and I would appreciate any tips on what to bring please,0.8288235294117641,3.2001227647058816,2.6485294117647062,91.21338235294121,86.05882352941177,6.9294117647058835,17.323529411764707,8.07648339933343,0.60884705882353,130,3,29,3,4,43,28,34,0.0,0.609,0.391,0.9399,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,7,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,6,6,0,10,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,4,18,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17985124563078114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5392973080335797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17056371445667956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22496126971448274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30061309804225644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772712058177847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812708748631635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5806256004031154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15421679313756062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18787459149635755,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TickleGrenade,2019/08/07,"I am afraid of myself for the first time in my life... or what I think is myself. Naturally, I have done some fucked up things plenty of times. In and out of mental hospitals over 10 times in high school (4 were extended stays.)

Anyway, without going too far into the past, what happened to me this morning was... odd. I took my bedtime meds, lithium, seroquel and lamictal. While I  lay there, I do my normal thought process, back and forthing to myself about what I have to do when i wake up. Then it happened. 

""I need to sign up for a class"". I thought.
Then a scary voice I've never heard: there are no rats in here.

""Haha no, I said I need to get a class.""
I see them. There are rats.

By this point i opened my eyes in shock, as I don't even feel myself thinking when the voice speaks.

With my eyes open, I say ""what the hell, I did not say rats. I said class.

The freaky sounding lower voice in my head says
""There are now rats in here. Go away from them.""

I walked out of the room, and my heart rate started getting fast. It got to 140 heart rate just by laying in a different rooms bed. I have heard voices in other rooms and even music that wasn't there before, but never a voice in my own thoughts that I wasn't thinking myself.",1.6843305040706724,3.5315958047808813,2.534612852936082,96.32798198510308,79.0,5.162030140308332,19.67798371730469,5.7926816847441245,-0.3030084531439461,941,22,213,5,23,295,137,251,0.076,0.915,0.009000000000000001,-0.8909999999999999,2,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,0,0,2,1,17,5,2,1,11,1,17,8,6,0,2,30,41,13,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,14,4,0,12,11,0,0,7,0,0,4,9,4,0,1,15,18,37,1,37,26,2,47,1,0,3,1,10,26,2,2,16,148,49,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171442643422227,0.09961426486818847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023563966904168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13534988247255358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132572381663144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711302056684677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06550326224473205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101932960144925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11976485741381153,0.1353667615402614,0.0,0.1472500050361844,0.0,0.1036112133808686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291173907100957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13295342158103227,0.0,0.0,0.30702954328771564,0.0,0.13687436773263986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09150344524160964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14389840592788988,0.0,0.13055371659555895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19211611053807326,0.1998305058295912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269293424453793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12366803768283548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12246454845480928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24645925575487246,0.3090648405398132,0.0,0.1311092940079758,0.1032328272818428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09169460254296874,0.13808072232007082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606580466985121,0.2490270059286706,0.0,0.30853945755014484,0.22662109915428175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14393237707167886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248794602583286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,eskilravn,2019/08/07,"Hypomania symptoms Bipolar type 2 checking in. I think im on my way up, i feel a lot more energized and i only sleep 4-5 hours a night. Any pro tips on how to stop/slow the process down before i go full manic. I am talking with my psychologist and taking my meds.",0.3945238095238111,2.448587500000002,3.2214285714285715,88.59023809523809,84.71428571428572,5.8761904761904775,23.619047619047624,7.1686216300943375,0.9473190476190476,204,8,45,3,6,72,46,56,0.0,0.925,0.075,0.5563,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,1,3,1,1,0,7,5,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,8,1,7,5,3,10,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,2,25,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935060562874644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421339682037883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14387873890175829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16171824350311362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802277605839196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3073664802216446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419171081212181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160746574349916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670340711434673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21641566810881036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.284758881248498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23789936730446726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2957599155715677,0.2139487288056012,0.22871322831462096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18233031627051693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22586522833346814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,auriolus95,2018/11/05,"Recently diagnosed with BPD1, having trouble with quitting smoking weed This might seem kind of silly but i'm having a really hard time giving up cannabis. I get manic like symptoms when I smoke, euphoria and energy and it's wonderful. but I also hear voices and become convinced I'm telepathic and can become pretty paranoid, hence why i'm trying to quit. I know weeds not supposed to be addictive but when i'm hit with a depressive episodes it's difficult to not smoke and be put into that elevated, manic like state.

any advice from someone who's been through something similar?",6.078341121495327,7.979301448598133,6.719707943925233,70.70797313084113,67.22429906542055,9.835981308411217,33.935747663551396,10.125756701596842,3.9977485981308414,473,22,72,12,8,155,75,107,0.113,0.637,0.251,0.9696,0,0,3,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,3,8,0,0,2,0,7,3,0,0,0,18,18,11,0,0,5,0,1,2,0,1,3,2,0,0,5,9,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,3,4,5,11,13,0,8,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,3,6,42,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970854333548861,0.0,0.17666378709994165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445759721411957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12294193221838567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3993319360010661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15571230363044944,0.18349585434317173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944541858396122,0.1734281718657403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619503963168734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037610374910136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18826271733462413,0.09935627009743504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17664761556651146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917873309756604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839262299843906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18174171541181328,0.0,0.3845802477250032,0.0,0.0,0.11581732109121018,0.0,0.17850618382731026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16458246168010598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15318095207105922,0.13917931346920406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18790779054014906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541884468110613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274307767121125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16313290789268128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960567030416316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Shadowcat200,2018/11/05,"Someone will now die because i am being discriminated against for having a mental illness. I was approved to donate my kidney through a transplant center but later found out my recipient's insurance no longer covered that transplant center. So I went through the one her insurance still covered when I filled out the forms I knew from the get go they would reject me because of how many more mental health questions they asked. The rejected me for ""psyhcosoical"" reasons although the did not give a reason how this was a risk. I know it is not the medication I am on. So I went back to the other transplant center to donate to whoever I could because I was already approved.  They suddenly wanted more health information after finding out I was rejected somewhere else and they have since decided it's too much of a risk. Apparently I am to crazy to decide my own risks",7.235125,8.147837262500001,7.391250000000002,70.56875000000002,63.875,9.65,37.25,9.642632912329526,3.8395125000000014,702,34,112,13,10,227,97,160,0.185,0.7809999999999999,0.034,-0.975,1,2,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,4,2,9,6,0,3,12,0,15,5,1,4,0,22,25,8,1,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,10,0,2,4,3,6,0,1,9,0,22,0,19,12,5,18,0,3,0,0,9,7,0,1,7,94,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18460654098641424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563917597132835,0.0,0.0,0.12863419686895464,0.0,0.3059317574200185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13356590854551814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17361860138635252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13974771341474088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15289826187219846,0.0,0.0,0.18342273001879095,0.0,0.0,0.08740111005448753,0.16047795659924327,0.09507366320397344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3556387833588309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193714624923983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16960384227564554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685251271480974,0.3371740484106078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12297597710418735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11335872313910912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187400919870742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34399998778291885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383824171078656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174263566198764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13359646580078838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09867083575765692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101554267993952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11883664253377264,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,buttery-biscuit,2018/11/05,"Is therapy helpful? I see a psychiatrist regularly for medication checkups and brief “therapy,” but I’ve decided I want to seek more regular, intensive therapy to see if it helps me work through some things. Has anyone found therapy to be particularly helpful? I’m hoping that talking to an unbiased ear without judgment will be therapeutic in itself. ",8.521,10.254000433333337,10.123333333333337,49.200000000000045,61.33333333333334,14.66666666666667,48.33333333333334,13.427899808715575,8.077833333333336,286,20,38,13,4,101,48,60,0.018000000000000002,0.753,0.22899999999999998,0.9294,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,5,3,1,0,0,9,11,3,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,3,1,8,7,2,2,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,3,0,27,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197484103815972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877768665682052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3443742831392663,0.0,0.0,0.17009902189476508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725256205195298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27294280914465163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13765165291077688,0.0,0.0,0.7833992546557184,0.0,0.1137769986370208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101310976202728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16508775156529668,0.0,0.12467873287979862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PersonManSam,2018/11/05,"BP1, rapid cycling, on Effexor & having problems. Advice please! I am bipolar 1, rapid cycling. I have been on Lamictal for about 10years, and it has deffinately brought things in check a little better. With the lamictal, i have tried seroquil, prozac, zoloft, welbutrin, and now Effexor. I also have narcolepsy and take the non stimulant wakefulness medicine Modafinil. I have been on the Effexor for over a year now, and Its the closest I have felt to being me since I first got medicated. However, I still can be very easily triggered into a self-harm ideating depression. I think I'm having the same amount of, if not more, suicidal thoughts than before. Further, the Effexor gives me incredibly believable suicidal nightmares every single night, as well as hyperhidrosis. I take hydroxyzine and prazosin to combat those side effects, but I don't think either one is helping at all. I'm really scared to go off of Effexor because I was seriously non functional before getting on it, but the side effects are getting to be more than I can bare. Any advice would be welcome. Thank you so much.",6.304501718213061,8.461774742268044,6.54575257731959,71.16849140893474,67.04123711340206,10.121786941580758,36.644673539518905,10.355215969177356,4.464257457044673,876,46,136,24,15,281,127,194,0.063,0.8240000000000001,0.113,0.8298,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,0,4,7,8,0,1,10,0,22,5,1,4,1,24,37,12,2,3,5,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,6,0,1,2,2,4,1,2,7,1,16,4,23,25,8,22,0,1,0,0,4,14,0,1,6,100,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30426804869233665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450160175246736,0.0,0.16868512495540286,0.0,0.10587144777268864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09490440807081904,0.0,0.2649537100854234,0.17540419418618589,0.0,0.13769113290126778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340916538719472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117171011321765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14948245110325414,0.0,0.0,0.1324259681044898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16267844863975311,0.14934767421241762,0.08847963159094151,0.0,0.12451588013700805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435267847334297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15603772549106684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15683671651411712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444672248896587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14610025266907106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054964931712942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17089587762644798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14896995422018638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997360887357768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15586829954722808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16241388282700134,0.0,0.0,0.1287846168091715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433060510717282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.340589237002108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23411217304874304,0.0,0.0,0.14333424954505633,0.0,0.0,0.10343049819108778,0.19951390593930834,0.0,0.12359686067513695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057002041747912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845680469987386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13997992070789353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105944800752473,0.0,0.0,0.10025632837920173
bipolarreddit,justiceluv86,2018/11/05,"If Alcohol was my Bipolar mess, I’d take them more often So, I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar forever. But I’ve been in and out of treatment for as long as I’ve been diagnosed. Here’s the thing. I can’t seem to get it right and get my shit together. I always start my meds, and stop. Then start again, to stop them again. I am always quitting alcohol to start again. Nothing in my life is consistent and I’m really tired of being this way.. there’s gotta be something that I can do to get this under control. There’s gotta be a life beyond.... mania. Right? ",0.29415024630542064,2.5763818879310385,2.493152709359609,91.94568965517244,87.8793103448276,6.072906403940888,20.354679802955662,7.447530270364453,0.7603714285714291,433,14,94,8,14,146,71,116,0.126,0.8740000000000001,0.0,-0.9134,0,0,3,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,2,9,2,1,0,2,0,12,10,1,1,0,13,23,10,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,9,0,0,0,5,6,2,3,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,10,0,15,14,1,18,0,0,0,0,2,7,1,3,10,60,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3499548026175345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.272472679425319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18363693335436465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323646741982347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25662624490031505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312944505293663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14489575262184598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18186693759596367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15710319350272225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17414683453712798,0.0,0.0,0.1048895255121191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796487707546257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14905349347225572,0.0,0.0,0.16806632383863515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12604722690305112,0.0,0.0,0.34766646199525403,0.0,0.0,0.2737709485397733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310446027589815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877482781068468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881833609011894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299611228555061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lap3,2018/11/05,"I’m getting control over my depressive episodes. Need more help for hypomanic episodes. I’m a 27F currently on escitalopram 20mg and lamotrigine 150mg (as well as a slew of other supplements) and I feel like I can’t stop myself when the mania starts brewing. I know it’s coming when it peaks its head out in subtle ways. I’m scared that I might need to change my med to control my highs. I was on lithium for a year. It destroyed my body, I’m 5’4” with a small frame and gained 40lbs in two months while on it. I will never take it again. Does anyone have a similar scenario they encountered during treatment? I don’t know what my options are. Maybe it’s my lamotrigine dosage? Idk. I’m scared and sitting on the beach across from my apartment looking into the Atlantic Ocean trying to ease the pain of my whole body locking up from trying to fight off this high. I don’t want it. I’m scared. I’m scared of needing to go on the musical chairs of meds. Someone please just tell me what I should do. ",2.665273631840794,4.659450975124379,3.61773631840796,89.01426616915424,76.56218905472636,6.4567164179104495,25.09701492537313,7.3871296695380915,1.0934597014925371,790,28,164,10,18,253,123,201,0.13699999999999998,0.782,0.08199999999999999,-0.8994,1,0,0,0,1,0,20.0,0,0,1,3,5,10,2,4,10,0,10,4,3,2,1,23,30,9,0,5,1,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,13,8,0,3,3,1,0,2,4,8,1,1,1,2,20,2,29,26,2,31,0,1,1,0,4,17,0,2,11,96,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711469424145146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27677794335344125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13179738425256768,0.10732136739236643,0.0,0.0,0.2794716478399757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730729902856624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902763296270893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06299534067154036,0.08900555705113228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509198905981005,0.0,0.07080612410175399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12786303764004714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350858349516926,0.2632677252715846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13694040531327129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060867311266763965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046223829732004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12516520185980984,0.0,0.27677794335344125,0.0,0.0,0.13216797899116914,0.0,0.0,0.09944480207958678,0.0,0.0,0.2771408495645697,0.0960898004153505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132570214966391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367600034281255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4989365332032103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556284793255924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08818389385484927,0.0,0.0,0.10416098864420667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367452870541626,0.0,0.1088952382182548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691738909805143,0.0,0.12170418800118132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348511886926487,0.09889200526310836,0.0,0.0,0.11201940445705384,0.0,0.0,0.13909784166130745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023046549315341
bipolarreddit,LongDistRider,2018/11/05,"Dealing with heartbreak I am so tired of having my heart broken. Friends don't stay friends very long - i have none anymore.  Another whom I developed very strong feelings for even though she is not my wife. Yet every person leaves my life breaking my heart. Even to the point of increasing my lamotrigine try ing to reduce the amount of hurt I feel. 

My therapist says I feel the emotions strongly because of bipolar and aspergers/""neurotypical brain"". Just so tired of feeling anything. I am trying to fight the derps off. The urge to cut again is running so strong I have hair ties on my wrists as an alternative. 

How do you deal with heart being broken without going high or low?

Will it ever end?

Thanks for reading my vent/whine. ",3.801428571428573,6.610239814814818,3.816640211640213,84.8741666666667,76.77777777777777,5.931216931216931,26.67989417989418,7.1686216300943375,1.4312116402116404,585,23,104,7,14,179,94,135,0.188,0.703,0.109,-0.9072,0,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,0,1,0,3,11,11,2,0,6,0,11,10,6,1,1,13,17,8,0,0,4,1,5,0,2,1,4,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,4,1,0,3,4,5,0,0,0,6,17,6,17,15,3,15,0,3,0,0,11,5,0,1,5,68,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13959627455069276,0.0,0.0,0.13202716457396502,0.0,0.0,0.10955296850976193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115356926110852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14861483232473324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744981639332568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14975103737831982,0.11791185880599715,0.0,0.0,0.17585952511145458,0.1204218622728196,0.11216604874483348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692539881340702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057086645682323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756596880637482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4732718236402496,0.0,0.1406569998286859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14251623546576805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409632883383978,0.0,0.0,0.09403221578209386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781405602480233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11624220039502588,0.0,0.0,0.12584895372576405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13316398712750965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105868697801711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189669298532612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225663400088193,0.0,0.1545718233378375,0.0,0.0,0.13079754556887874,0.0,0.0,0.30602201407532004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18077029328313687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21968901991344425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833060353909806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Forlornfiori,2019/11/01,"So Am I manic or did I have a revelation.
I guess I’ll find out in a few weeks.",-2.535499999999999,-1.4139715499999994,2.4700000000000024,95.165,89.5,6.0,15.0,7.1686216300943375,-0.5299999999999998,59,1,18,1,2,24,16,20,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,2,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5570222049019302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6713729987806683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4888604706400842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,killmealreadylmao,2019/11/01,im in that mood im in that mood boy im in that mood i wanna do everything i wanna live my dude i wanna live do some fucking drugs some heroin and some liquor oh boy im in that mood i just want to destroy myself and have some fun oh boy im in that mood haha i want to live boy i want to fucking do stuff let me be please fuck this depression boy im in the mood whats up who else wanna do stuff why are you looking at me this way you boring fucks lets go fuck you if you're not in that mood lets do stuff i swear i just want to get high and make a lot of noise my dude why am i like this boy im in that mood i know its only temporary my boy but im in that mood i want to live boy im tired of laying in my bed doing nothing im want to live im in that mood boy lets fucking go my dude too bad im alone and nobody is around and no store is open today cause im in that mood boy lets have some fun dude im in that mood someone make it stop cause im in that mood you fucking cunt stfu already,-2.6359263521288843,-0.9412859620253152,0.4050019179133102,104.9505178365938,98.49367088607596,3.3790563866513232,12.245109321058688,4.851557810540192,-1.6976177215189874,765,12,212,3,33,265,91,237,0.157,0.762,0.081,-0.9685,0,1,1,0,0,0,0.0,0,4,0,0,4,29,9,0,2,1,18,10,0,4,0,34,38,7,0,11,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,10,22,7,1,1,1,1,1,2,2,12,0,0,0,1,23,4,29,32,6,24,0,1,1,7,15,19,8,7,3,112,45,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05161692355586815,0.054997244190187394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04436620225341077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041612475670706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239428432058333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04292521833220207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05779601776362951,0.0,0.04163308124741067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04479099504912936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32251965774440683,0.026038190014696403,0.0,0.05664793287762609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05265636489506912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8075005344137014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02738954782100881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548126012615196,0.0,0.024348228397067462,0.0,0.22003842272658994,0.0,0.04185119439418893,0.0,0.0,0.04237030963836906,0.0,0.0,0.06653422803508081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04782070679398166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0379038875736319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05470693102341733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04222740052443098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041666626778671716,0.0,0.0,0.17115704918665933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05728121195070345,0.04724040065822123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763737304090355,0.03955892055486508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899417133417968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,marshmallowhaze69,2019/11/01,"Intense mood swings Last night I couldn't get the thought of suicide out of my head. It's something I do think about a lot. My boyfriend asked me why I was being more quiet than usual (it's a new relationship and hes really only seen me manic) of course I just said I was tired. Well as soon as I wake up today I'm cheery, antsy, and ready to fight with someone all at the same time. How can my mood change so quickly? I feel like I'm constantly battling different version of me in my head. Idk where I'm going with this but my mood swings are intense anyone else deal with this? Tell me your story?",1.961418181818182,3.70375512,3.0962181818181835,93.10410909090912,77.8,5.825454545454545,21.763636363636365,6.574015621080383,0.27244,470,13,104,4,11,151,89,125,0.078,0.831,0.09,-0.1799,1,0,1,0,1,1,12.0,0,1,0,0,8,7,2,0,4,0,8,4,3,1,1,16,19,7,1,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,5,4,18,2,16,12,5,15,0,0,1,0,8,5,0,1,10,63,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291328314995355,0.18922689693762512,0.0,0.0,0.17265124636690413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19536737815545352,0.0,0.0,0.1995739062467176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19039738574470388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19295171344974774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542767786628505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337996055690824,0.13193571648601654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648788793234947,0.0,0.10495812873342247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3790707466372409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15053917704711514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022551612080194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15700867401837218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783654836038257,0.0,0.17331004720408258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14045776816056513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11831099488856175,0.0,0.0,0.19827763763256576,0.0,0.0,0.1756733542162308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15647910577409768,0.1421759965547868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020103855526519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16141881195111432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833574488927776,0.0,0.1466156106273393,0.10768862789014204,0.21226295515199525,0.17505542750924905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20339937196333308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16604986112145526,0.0,0.16664533810661605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,starter_kit,2019/11/01,"Has anyone been a part of a research study? The local Uni posted an ad last year in search of participants for a research study.  When I first responded they they seemed as if they had enough participants already but today they called back.  It's a two part study.  Three hours of Q&A and an hour and a half of MRI research.  It will pay close to $100 USD. 

Has anyone else done anything like this?

I'm a bit nervous to share such intimate details of my condition but could definitely use the money.

Are there questions you think I should ask before getting started?

Thanks!",2.9023088685015286,5.648043688073398,3.324977064220185,87.40257262996944,80.0091743119266,5.835168195718657,24.679663608562695,7.1686216300943375,1.1817149847094806,458,17,85,6,12,142,81,109,0.038,0.8320000000000001,0.129,0.9008,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,4,1,4,4,0,1,10,0,9,1,0,1,0,12,17,7,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,8,3,10,11,4,13,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,3,10,56,11,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19449610775698906,0.0,0.0,0.1909666541082068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24647600597438216,0.180588814008464,0.14503862068675488,0.0,0.1647698309440642,0.0,0.0,0.13552526623257172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14997565292715093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19241920327482603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799708171549711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14072117489618666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803648036127944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14723414556099915,0.0,0.0,0.18211322416637968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14991804436010853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208327954364894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34714122659993746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436671629916858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08610678087126311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38172285477740503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687986498385983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19744018446031708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16045125678819055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12475056095800385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16226719494067324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11293379625311438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16706426280435466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721705071118361,0.0,0.0,0.1522232935071779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134991338970259
bipolarreddit,StoopidLoop,2019/11/01,"I need advice from you guys, especially the ones who know a lot about the illness. A good and close friend of mine showed strong signs of a bipolar disorder. His manic episodes would last 10 to 11 months and his depressive episodes around 32 months. So that's a lot of time.

He finally was on his way to get diagnosed but got incredible unlucky. During the diagnosis process he got into a manic episode and refused to believe that he had this illness and cancelled all appointments with his psychiatrist. I tried to contact the psychiatrist but he told me there is nothing he can do since the diagnosis has not been made yet.

Then I tried to contact my friend and I was worried about him but he usually goes no contact with me as long as he is manic and he did that again.

It's been 12 months now since all of this happened. He is still manic. And I'm worried shitless, because I have no clue what that means. Can manic episodes sometimes be a little longer? It should have ended a month ago, but it seems to be still there. Can manic episodes last years? I'm so worried that he only gets out of this episode in years, because this would end really bad I think.",4.120533333333333,5.9265363644444475,4.3889999999999985,85.85950000000003,72.02222222222224,7.311111111111113,29.38888888888889,7.984000788550335,1.8929555555555557,922,38,181,13,18,288,123,225,0.14300000000000002,0.812,0.044000000000000004,-0.9698,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,1,12,6,0,0,12,0,21,4,0,1,2,33,35,16,0,4,5,0,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,1,14,13,0,1,4,1,0,0,3,2,0,1,10,0,16,4,23,20,4,29,0,1,0,0,25,7,0,3,21,115,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166704157579163,0.1058355597360434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062859554815003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968898648005543,0.14556292446043193,0.0,0.0,0.13451613042733535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283386030273453,0.1211823768045951,0.0,0.0,0.13683584525984888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21149525711116002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307902695125088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18448698605639688,0.0,0.12475685382821372,0.0,0.0,0.100142006086145,0.19098054582440926,0.0,0.0,0.1182188116149013,0.10557970249520808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06561580916334492,0.19464405853151545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11966413420799578,0.0,0.10565991547665628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20300898500343773,0.0,0.11297347100756785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005504611676594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3811965440361321,0.0,0.0,0.08852912357408634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11456174419365067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809044510075571,0.09080450213466534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648684105269042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086917955620212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197527868613546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808369943590336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906963738273385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650284167353383,0.0,0.0,0.06961959006746501,0.0,0.0,0.11408606471552304,0.0,0.16212135082562326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314956014716143,0.0,0.0,0.09476938424828464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3637511476200607,0.0,0.16962811608203768,0.0,0.0,0.15377161768557726
bipolarreddit,bayleighhaswifi,2019/11/01,Lithium help I think I have acute lithium toxicity 😀 does anyone know what I should do,2.214117647058824,4.9294907058823565,4.383823529411767,78.77220588235295,83.11764705882355,5.752941176470588,26.14705882352941,7.1686216300943375,1.4726705882352946,70,3,13,1,2,24,14,17,0.0,0.816,0.184,0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4497935230953088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5629351462695553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4311743306460248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3535276562484183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.412185274525227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Dee70000,2019/11/01,"Manic me ran out of money. Now I’m in withdrawal. What a dumbass. 

I still have a lamactil supply but I am 4 days without Fluvox. Uuughhhhhhh . I’m going to get my hands on some tomorrow. In the mean time brain zaps, anxiety headaches and confusion. 

I hate feeling like a junkie in withdrawal.",0.9416468253968232,3.488488125,4.115238095238095,76.64087301587303,96.32142857142857,7.488888888888887,25.865079365079364,8.167268648758528,2.7376769841269843,229,11,41,7,9,82,46,56,0.209,0.6679999999999999,0.12300000000000001,-0.7906,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,1,4,0,2,2,2,0,0,8,10,2,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,2,1,2,0,0,1,2,5,1,8,9,1,12,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,2,6,25,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27189327351738096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3967632676320794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22921476553961684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17970967379893146,0.25391020119012325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18569087802626608,0.0,0.2019918509789326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3509010167561463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736389475183818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.387153650707201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28383672724853104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20724669484303215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34260960902013265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PepaStV,2019/11/01,"Terrified of a doctor appointment tomorrow. 
I am going to a new psychiatrist tomorrow to plan a major adjustment in my medication. I am terrified that I am going to lose the small semblance of stability I have left. 

Things are really bad in my life, as I am paying the price for a major manic episode at work . But I am so scared that a med change will just make things worse.

My question(s) are: Do they ween me off my medications and then start new ones? Do they wait and see what side effects may occur? Can things go bad (mood instability) quickly? Should I go back on FMLA incase things go bad? I took 7 weeks off last year and I know the stigma will make me lose my job.

Background:
I left my last psychologist because it I felt lost in the shuffle of a massive hospital being run like a corporation. My appointments were just a check in every few months to see if my meds were working (and it was a group meeting with new people every time). 

Any therapist was only available every 4 months or so. I let this go on since 2013 because anything was better than the terror that was my life.

I have been going to an actual therapist weekly for three months and it’s been a revelation. She helped me realize that my meds haven’t been working.",3.4607923335309216,5.530818821576767,4.896502667457026,80.3974550484094,74.47717842323651,8.075953368899428,25.58407429361786,8.841846274778883,2.049545188697886,980,34,185,21,21,327,137,241,0.156,0.821,0.022000000000000002,-0.9871,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,2,9,6,11,0,2,16,0,28,5,0,3,0,21,45,12,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,4,5,0,0,0,13,6,0,1,5,0,3,9,1,8,0,2,12,3,29,2,22,27,3,40,0,3,2,0,6,13,0,3,19,126,42,6,0.0,0.0,0.09024263649992724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06288643324679279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609936284175413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711078632740999,0.2316392525449554,0.11274427333393933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178696353016685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782669604600257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465247556285596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337435021087093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879087214387522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3678912486758261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0619843015940204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176755090911656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050822053423024566,0.15075956339328514,0.0,0.0,0.20094955382044352,0.09456234705882656,0.13063619918209796,0.045178802236472616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20691260414337684,0.1009478072367742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234560757905215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30815791857584585,0.18631844394699013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214389112856409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679399106598898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06266371448732333,0.07033169776281785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411078855930248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359359573088277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05924209991011959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09258399333324743,0.0,0.1473818188081669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649659448855649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06545455381542009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21474210017868148,0.2457461480697453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05392314094442858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027435558860161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14835635241573708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20196954603171727,0.0,0.09424031820377457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059551116328586076
bipolarreddit,CautiousOpposite1,2019/11/01,"Am i? I dont really know alot about bipolar so i could be completely wrong so excuse me for that.Its why i wanted to ask on here first.What do some of you who have bipolar feel like?I have times where i start to feel really good for no reason i can really identify and some days i just feel like life is crashing down and im not gonna make it to the next day.I looked up the defintion of bipolar and this sounds like BUT i would rather have the defintions of people who have experiences with [it.Im](https://it.Im) currently seeing a psychiatrist for depression so it could just be that for me but sometimes i wonder if its not mainly because i feel like the drugs ive been given dont seem to do anything, but that could just be my perception of it.",1.7294852941176484,4.0480493790849685,3.0243423202614395,90.41141544117649,81.35294117647058,6.43937908496732,20.67361111111111,7.645422480735847,0.7580983660130713,597,17,125,10,16,193,91,153,0.044000000000000004,0.88,0.076,0.5367,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,0,10,6,0,0,6,0,20,5,0,2,0,32,35,10,0,7,10,0,4,3,0,2,5,1,0,0,9,4,0,0,9,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,7,15,4,17,25,4,9,0,1,2,0,5,4,0,6,8,88,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10711005640285748,0.0,0.12168142390173525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934393288554281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364696041897433,0.0,0.0,0.3117649542343596,0.0,0.0,0.1678840284546847,0.0,0.1121060591557346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30509158234226524,0.0,0.15094352546401946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12732082188032864,0.0,0.0,0.26324991689444505,0.2789576012338291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11071347832173452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917148909140748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42178330686023896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715321758996704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193539958899677,0.2543571391431945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10930107421197137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688237816587085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384259474807426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023610608801086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25015024144124737,0.13382549186844958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372015175820228,0.11849218562006017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12873092729688518,0.0,0.09212745927416377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07589696486667517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677135812383952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11744857019049128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411522650209218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924614692086156,0.1423088186577867,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Solilloquy,2019/11/01,"For the first time in my life. (TW: Voices in head) For the first time in my life, I no longer hear a voice inside my head. You guys have no idea how huge this is for me, but I will tell you.

Ever since I was 4 years old, I have had a male voice stuck in my head. Never told me to do bad things to myself or others. Just annoying and sometimes extremely mean and negative comments. I never knew where it came from or why it was a male voice. A therapist recently thought that it might have been a manifestation of my father. (Whole different story there) I never had a conscious or one that I could hear. I know right from wrong and everything, just as people have an inner voice that is their own.

Anyway, many psychiatrists and therapists tried their hardest to get rid of this voice. It had been a huge part of my life and was the main source of my negative thoughts and self esteem. I couldn't go anywhere without it constantly talking to me. 

I had been on so many medications to try and at least minimize it and none ever worked. He was persistent and I was desperate to get rid of him.

Until recently. My medication combo wasn't working as well as it should have been. I get used to them after a few years so I wasn't surprised that they were going to change it up. They took me off of Zoloft and put me on Prozac. With my other medications Latuda and Lamictal, my voice is now GONE. Y'all don't realize how happy I am to finally have it gone. It's replaced by a much nicer and kinder voice that is of my own. I still get negative thoughts here and there, I am human after all. Yet, the constant nagging and mean and negative comments that he used to make are finally gone. 

DISCLAIMER: I'm not saying that these medication combinations will help you if you also have a voice stuck in your head. They are what worked for me.

TL;DR Had a male voice stuck in my head since I was 4 and recent medicine changes led to it being gone.

If you read the whole thing, thank you. I appreciate everyone of you who took time out to even read the tl;dr.",3.252637182637184,4.915120717444719,4.238181818181818,86.6439393939394,74.01228501228502,7.783456183456185,24.126945126945127,8.484438967287268,1.4120227682227684,1600,48,334,29,33,518,192,407,0.14,0.8059999999999999,0.054000000000000006,-0.9898,1,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,9,6,6,19,8,2,0,18,0,42,14,5,6,6,55,73,31,0,5,10,1,0,0,0,4,9,13,0,6,27,19,0,0,10,2,0,11,16,4,1,3,33,13,53,4,47,33,11,54,0,0,0,0,35,17,0,6,26,252,80,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06085297500657383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06353597005744499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703216635470781,0.0,0.0,0.160996393206492,0.0,0.0,0.16446286676522726,0.0,0.060755496863152285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950285820927576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050259890249048776,0.1376641857205552,0.0,0.07271183154407343,0.06838908943569631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16671624300673293,0.0,0.12945237673818372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15902554553258047,0.0,0.08649284401174732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534580438826949,0.0,0.08100431751534824,0.0,0.0,0.3904760326089794,0.0,0.17152871446224335,0.0,0.05100473283574865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859017541181636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0418197058020184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16124399888221055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05079386232249602,0.1542963443226969,0.0,0.16577906562522154,0.0,0.30662997602623315,0.0,0.08072454561841995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05593842525055956,0.0,0.17606697635012114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984868018721912,0.0,0.051563798150948095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240324074586243,0.0,0.052754545235883465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649628013433643,0.0,0.0,0.1522307619996739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254032710017719,0.0,0.0,0.0649845337487469,0.0,0.06051363017102936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079383460238866,0.0,0.0,0.12589279105823853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525969173267613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06076939652697318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06116210871304323,0.06651019931057248,0.0700578577494363,0.0,0.17670382930083445,0.1011079927124714,0.0,0.0,0.18123228699921626,0.13311444963350155,0.0,0.0,0.07271183154407343,0.1690882202040202,0.10332673302672343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314429308595074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06841835363046499,0.0,0.06866371098682998,0.16991422809547854,0.0,0.07335266082836868,0.0,0.16619373730749518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319770584986284,0.0,0.09800509807480468
bipolarreddit,oedipa--maas,2019/05/31,"What’s the likelihood of being turned away from the hospital? I’m in the middle of a manic episode and it’s become very distressing. I can’t sleep more than 4 hours and I’m being watched and followed. My thoughts are racing all of the time and I can’t stop it. I just want to run away but I for the time being I realize that going to the hospital is better. But I’m not a threat to myself or others, how strong is the possibility that I won’t be admitted?",0.4595032802249293,2.666064865979384,3.0552764761012163,88.86392689784442,85.90721649484536,6.413870665417058,20.158388003748826,7.686295010490155,0.8371319587628872,360,11,78,7,11,125,60,97,0.039,0.7959999999999999,0.16399999999999998,0.9096,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,2,4,1,1,9,0,10,1,1,1,1,16,19,8,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,1,3,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,1,1,8,2,12,13,2,11,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,1,4,57,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5022173542285037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951783806149899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363783264275384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15189552731321404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26320681290899656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013064239205077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674627147031109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22344943317107144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121822840911312,0.31169421780670176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2907126805239229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22052548972022976,0.15764259125779062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HelplessWhat,2019/05/31,"Helpless Hi. Sorry for grammar etc. English is not my first language. So, I am not bipolar, but
my father is and was in a psychatric hospital 2 times (he also had a psychosis at that time). I was the one to call the amulance the first time and the doctors At the hospital decided to put him in a psychatric hospital. I was alone at home when my dad also came and was acting really Strange. I was 16 years old and got a call from a neighbour saying my dad was at his place all messed up and hyperactive and that he was about to call the amulance. I was feeling so helpless and I did not know what to do. My dad talked in so much nonsense  about being as bad as Hitler, something about places in my little hometown he must visit so that everything will be okay and god is okay with him (he is not religious). I cannot even explain it. He looked just messed up and I was afraid to be honest. 
He got in the hospital and after a few weeks he got home. 
Second time he went there, it was because he had a break down at work.
So I found out he is bipolar. He has a maniac Phase about 2-3 times a year for a few weeks. It is destroying me every time. The Switch from being normal/calm to this hyperactive State is so so fucking hard. Everytime he has a manic Phase, he tells me to send him to the psychatric hospital again to get rid of him. It is so hurtful. He spends so much fucking money during those phases although we struggle with it.
I know he has no fault but it is so so hard for me.
I had to get this off my chest, sorry.",1.4733333333333365,3.4311898789808954,3.260789808917199,90.32661995753716,80.14649681528662,6.352271762208067,22.88704883227177,7.42949916751922,0.8884024628450105,1178,39,254,17,30,393,145,314,0.177,0.7829999999999999,0.04,-0.9934,0,1,1,0,0,0,34.0,1,0,0,3,22,16,4,2,20,2,35,6,1,0,2,30,50,29,0,1,7,4,3,0,1,2,3,1,2,0,13,15,0,0,6,0,2,6,6,13,0,4,20,5,27,3,40,24,6,42,0,3,1,2,36,18,2,0,16,181,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393919669237927,0.0,0.17595302462874055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918553785013868,0.06706226030674313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.337003486390133,0.12582435705442713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260188685722053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226923985229848,0.07266185183118283,0.0,0.0926898080638051,0.0,0.09887164215485178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05562534465606417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18715220767762,0.0,0.12062241890572095,0.0,0.20340854006438192,0.11495340090879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639598055289529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19709818754632136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22070190042859344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11777006196722745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209193753329944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026086961888518,0.0,0.0,0.0923823262099157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16174287476892296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10778834791636108,0.0,0.0,0.11543902980944187,0.0,0.0745469407619353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22987813442220015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059238978069603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047646869873546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748591386622752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469256961572287,0.0,0.24629873023740845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500837060283806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842343385487103,0.09615528851376112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3848930973756751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17648989220755584,0.0,0.0,0.10198217476494496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009000587193738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416881708202054
bipolarreddit,Ynoppony,2019/05/31,"My boyfriend is the reason I've never tried to kill myself, and I'm starting to resent him for that. Our relationship has been having problems for more than a year, now, and I just realised this coincided with the first time I actively started thinking about committing suicide.
I know how much that would hurt and scar him and, in the same way I promised him I would have stopped purging (I'm a recovering bulimic), I feel like I cannot kill myself.

I feel trapped, and I'm isolating myself from him and everyone around me. And I so want to die, but I feel I'm not even allowed that. I keep wishing some terminal disease or some fatal accident so that I could die but it wouldn't be my fault.",8.861046228710464,6.465725335766425,8.646386861313868,73.74091849148422,62.065693430656935,12.053041362530415,40.351581508515814,10.504223727775694,4.0255800486618,549,24,109,10,6,178,87,137,0.20199999999999999,0.675,0.12300000000000001,-0.9369,1,1,0,0,0,4,15.0,1,0,0,1,8,9,3,0,5,0,11,0,0,3,2,36,25,13,6,7,5,0,3,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,9,0,2,6,0,0,0,4,7,0,1,1,3,23,2,11,19,5,11,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,3,9,80,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15712220073291425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14092069125154488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3663577568246505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657642257581978,0.0,0.0,0.16865307819696546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26773073577659995,0.12609145916443598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15013060015944169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18894663657305935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15688109058176938,0.3905416532603048,0.0,0.09699964865452182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622886421162562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12974762714207394,0.0,0.13612749076139666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16888642728406733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18147114258714994,0.0,0.18949468206675696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24985486792856895,0.0,0.0,0.14756169705912967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930620832563095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309391529306564,0.0,0.0,0.10291842563740608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11983174687623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10410412756334478,0.1400972889384752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20296600599288064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507607217176215,0.0,0.0,0.11366005448021572
bipolarreddit,Riggum,2019/05/31,"Lowering seroquel No way around it. I started seroquel and gained 90lb. Nothing had changed. Not my diet, not my exercise, nothing.  Hell, if anything, my diet is far better than it used to be. 

I only take it for sleep and want to lower my dosage or get off it completely because I’m tired of this. I’m very conscious of my calories and even at what should be a healthy calorie deficit, I don’t lose weight. 

I used to be ripped. Nearly had a six pack, could bench 300+, run eight miles straight, etc. Now...I’m still pretty strong but I have trouble running 1/4 miles. 

Anybody have any experience with weight loss after cutting a medication?",2.9179268292682927,5.310072764227642,3.4692886178861784,88.44588414634147,77.45528455284554,5.726016260162603,28.949186991869922,6.816661863887847,1.4984747967479677,502,23,96,5,12,157,91,123,0.149,0.733,0.11800000000000001,-0.6059,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,5,3,7,2,0,3,0,11,8,1,2,0,16,19,6,0,4,5,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,5,4,0,1,1,0,2,4,5,0,2,2,2,10,2,13,12,1,14,1,2,0,0,0,8,1,2,3,57,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210859471355565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14776456185289352,0.15984861232063285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945957711403878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15880835765267118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899532182524717,0.0,0.18826776818686514,0.0,0.0,0.1433659714461027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002595497975283,0.11859927681209526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756464900843349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381394687371963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20088440396449528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808902348643192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3445899460832111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365653024704531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18267952251199035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17969208555314306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709519639375272,0.0,0.14339877076319074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13500858379540034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063805729880808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101685352823637,0.0,0.14815779167366458,0.10591056038056654,0.14252828131376089,0.0,0.4373172764410765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CallMeMicky,2019/05/31,"Lithium monotherapy Does anyone have any experiences with taking lithium alone for maintenance? I’m currently on lithium and olanzapine (Zyprexa) to control mania, however my doctor seems to plan to wean me off the olanzapine once I stabilise and stick with lithium only.",8.048181818181817,11.443230181818185,8.009090909090908,57.23363636363638,65.36363636363637,10.763636363636362,42.81818181818181,10.686352973137794,6.237154545454545,224,14,26,7,4,72,35,44,0.047,0.953,0.0,-0.25,2,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,6,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,8,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,15,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422239096331691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22470247164886067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23104304406766024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3706032650966308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3382072111355087,0.28915989921720625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3232221331428988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35189519383871265,0.0,0.2513054963786137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3008093761197869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24844084516575798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,vulcantoker,2019/05/31,"Playing With Fire So, lately I've been ""experimenting"" with not taking my medication regularly. Basically I don't take my morning dose, and sometimes ""forget"" my evening dose. It's been a few weeks and I haven't had any noticeable side effects, but I'm worried that I may be setting myself up for disaster, as I just got hired at my first real job in 2 years.  


I have a doctors appointment later today and I don't know if I should mention wanting to taper down on my medication because I'm afraid he'll taper *all* my meds (including my Adderall and Klonopin, which I *do* need). He's also not a very good doctor, so I don't trust him that much with messing with my dosages ~~yeah, says the person tampering with her doses herself~~.  


I'm really stuck with what to do. I really don't want to be on medication if I can handle myself without it, but I don't actually know if that's the case, and it's a very pivotal time for me. I need this job really badly so I need to be as stable as possible, but I don't even know if I'll be getting health insurance in the long run so I want to be prepared for that (I'm not sure if the place I'm working for offers healthcare and I will probably be making too much to qualify for state healthcare).  


What do??",2.015564304461943,4.066437767716536,4.286318897637798,83.18189304461944,78.8031496062992,7.225459317585303,25.937664041994747,8.212053250817874,1.810123884514436,979,39,196,19,24,339,132,254,0.132,0.841,0.027999999999999997,-0.9772,2,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,3,9,7,0,1,8,1,24,9,0,2,2,42,45,22,0,12,13,0,1,0,0,4,9,1,0,1,11,12,0,0,4,1,0,1,11,3,0,1,5,2,31,4,28,30,4,20,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,6,8,133,42,7,0.0,0.0,0.12003323617668832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836549692336324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08364629389155656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10270241128775308,0.07498151934353531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517976733526324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16248471267435352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032058812141605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462633391700474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06426401834968368,0.0,0.0,0.10316912488921327,0.09837677790586337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307464932961548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24412310053993466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027977831138089,0.0,0.1387528012492538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088538310907978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210549291089665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662866266161972,0.3717379055029076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18084279351296426,0.27361561536396545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14003979092704244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10740152129860477,0.12851201036166734,0.0,0.0,0.13866746053866094,0.0,0.0,0.13261809501558042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14000440293718566,0.23639671598424825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978169646063631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165316444732725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159289216286063,0.0,0.18496597564690884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172406928045222,0.0,0.11659251173114747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20298080104403315,0.21765116240819807,0.0,0.09866562956549108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857055357201428,0.0,0.08954768743317612,0.1249155708781726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920993322109306
bipolarreddit,sillylion17,2019/05/31,"My Unsent Suicide Letter Dear Family and Friends,

I am sorry for leaving so soon, but I could not see past the blues.
My feelings were heavy and thoughts so unsteady. 
I didn’t know what to do.

So here I was, with a blade in my hand.
I shook my head as I made the first cut.
As the blood dripped, I could not resist.
I dropped the blade and lied in pain.
I closed my eyes and whispered goodbye.

Please know this was not your fault.
I could not battle the demons any longer.
I hope you know that I loved you dearly.
Now I am at rest, and I hope you all get the best.

Farewell, little ones.
I hope to see you once again.

———
Right now, I am hypomanic.
I needed a place to release these dark thoughts.
Thank you for reading, and I hope we get better.",0.6101277089783324,2.8234838750000044,1.4049535603715206,100.91496904024773,85.25,4.102786377708979,18.80959752321981,5.0885558068054335,-0.7067458204334365,567,15,133,2,17,174,91,152,0.08800000000000001,0.613,0.299,0.9913,0,0,0,0,0,1,25.0,1,6,0,3,8,16,2,1,8,0,11,6,4,1,1,30,29,12,1,8,5,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,4,9,0,0,6,1,0,1,5,5,0,2,7,7,30,11,11,19,3,15,1,0,4,1,10,7,0,4,6,88,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466651338507624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14609067011081314,0.12311855320794725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3334398373850159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123332872488286,0.0,0.07038797039942335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11841062860509324,0.0,0.0,0.10755209601815724,0.0,0.14546132937261458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14286802186711509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5530615687028502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.229515955297394,0.0,0.0,0.14740163866435255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13952342902207393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564105285617042,0.1317223925767433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032212949279009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14825244614902924,0.09433124220915057,0.0,0.14812759590512348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13289020847926175,0.0,0.0,0.14544319159935762,0.15280906445629916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924611255203626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888324779638153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218622078337027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15583245228015208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15227143975918328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816442901801214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22103190447679127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,howyouuudoooin,2019/05/31,"Latuda and Extra Energy? I take 10mg before bed with a snack. I know it’s a low dose but it’s all my body can tolerate. Anyways I’ve noticed I wake up with all this extra energy mentally and physically. But I don’t like it. It’s like I drank coffee and if anything it just makes my anxiety worse. 
Oh and I’m eating like crazy. 
Any way to combat this extra energy and stop the eating?",-0.04085365853658374,2.174346621951223,3.2933658536585355,86.05590243902441,88.8780487804878,6.694634146341463,16.736585365853657,7.908726449838941,0.7427473170731713,301,7,63,7,10,109,53,82,0.191,0.624,0.185,-0.1306,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,2,7,2,1,2,16,7,8,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,7,7,4,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,7,3,4,6,5,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,4,38,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16994862644681366,0.0,0.19118187964112648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20565615699143489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21265657572608007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775957244765771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5114444220233194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373450158725627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.366282916116522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16681809910234413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25185236283725765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28452629529294904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20893749519600632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18790260774339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19836839246181012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546815236251129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Badchoicemax,2019/05/31,"Realizing I’m bipolar are meds right for me? Hi everyone 27M, I’ve recently come to see that I’m bipolar. It was suggested to me by a friend I saw for the first time in years because the way I was acting reminded her of her dad who was very bipolar. I’ve come to see that I actually get manic quite a bit. And I feel I try to out rationalize or forget the depression even though it happens often making me completely isolate myself, even from my girlfriend who I live together with. I feel like no one has ever noticed until now because I was usually just looked at as “enthusiastic” or “having a bad day/not feeling well” depending on the situation and I’m a pretty kind person overall. But when it was brought up and I looked it up it really hit home how much I behaved this way and made a lot of sense.
(There was about 3 more paragraphs I deleted of manic ranting but I think you guys get the idea)

I want to try being more conscious of my mentality, Diet proper, etc. and see if I can get it under control. or is this a poor choice only fueled by wanting to feel manic and/or comfortable depressed? How has this worked for any of you?",4.631979621542938,5.267044454148472,6.234742358078602,77.55418049490541,69.52401746724891,9.076098981077148,30.98719068413392,9.21078282632365,2.66837269286754,896,36,174,17,15,308,141,229,0.083,0.8290000000000001,0.087,-0.4895,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,0,4,13,8,0,0,11,0,13,4,0,6,1,36,39,17,0,3,7,1,4,1,2,0,3,0,1,2,13,9,1,1,8,0,1,4,1,3,1,2,9,10,24,5,28,28,6,23,0,2,6,0,13,8,0,7,10,120,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.12021893150794255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377569743633408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286129526765857,0.1501950363989701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13449522330492067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122403127028797,0.12916587584711406,0.0,0.13817180904965926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07944951443524792,0.0,0.21221249089996455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13739314166975464,0.16273608182430627,0.11143543131851928,0.0,0.11771651817301225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24916102222348605,0.08800934855666945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10478819426796647,0.0,0.0,0.0951788708855218,0.0,0.1930903106461326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198077758715023,0.10893946599410853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357296718218948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907028863129564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282869087981433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060186044450083874,0.0,0.10878197850767594,0.0,0.20690276146753506,0.0,0.0,0.10473457442866092,0.0,0.11656851944268296,0.08223251278630381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684003165890662,0.0,0.12414991394051075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056128160636193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025643705101004,0.0,0.0,0.08347899720317749,0.09369408833918913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756767495495867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12533191821328468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13103128400556435,0.0,0.0,0.0789208098046548,0.0,0.12163856364537412,0.0,0.0,0.10520644144910976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945074324290597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13847447866229246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07893731959819522,0.12103683360128133,0.0,0.07183502875491253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16728038598127815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356800622311087,0.10164740948173767,0.14532525057009674,0.1955702823289768,0.0,0.0,0.11076560990801602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968622062623673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933247357122128
bipolarreddit,novahex,2018/12/06,"Public misconceptions and media portrayal of bipolar Anyone else have a really hard time with general misconceptions about bipolar in popular media and the general public? 


I have a really hard time whenever there is a news story or video of someone doing dangerous/stupid things or something where someone is clearly unstable and people in the comments insist the person is bipolar. 


Even worse is when tv shows or movies have an all around bad parent/friend/spouse and they later reveal that the character is bipolar as if that explains why they're awful (ex. The good doctor has a really crap mother who steals from her daughter, only interacts with her for money and is a nasty manipulative person but it's explained as because she's bipolar). This stuff legit makes me cry, like people assume individuals with bipolar are always off their rocker, are never stable, that our mental illness makes us bad, incapable people. 


I can't stand how much bipolar is misunderstood by the general public, and popular media just perpetuates these harmful misconceptions. Also when I'm at my worst it makes me believe I can't ever be a good parent or spouse because l will never be free from my bipolar. It seriously fucks with me.",10.062904040404042,9.750639583333337,9.93207070707071,58.82909090909092,58.25925925925926,12.113804713804715,38.617845117845114,11.389717465364855,4.841348148148149,994,41,138,23,11,327,133,216,0.222,0.71,0.068,-0.9876,2,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,2,0,2,0,11,14,2,0,13,1,19,12,1,5,5,36,26,18,0,1,7,5,2,1,0,1,10,0,0,2,11,11,0,0,4,3,2,0,4,8,0,0,0,2,15,7,18,23,3,15,0,0,0,1,22,6,2,6,9,102,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073169332077472,0.11166228054469368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383334855932783,0.13750022493088482,0.0,0.11946338155173497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240970290838751,0.1636099436263683,0.0,0.0,0.15119355837094348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740860969239789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13735585616013107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210399848572664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863555617951625,0.12138846311520313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036799222754367,0.12406254881968662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251153998330022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404275012936787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06556165620157499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687317191791172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352385598620536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864990570653864,0.0,0.2070013058963266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10206252402761704,0.0,0.0,0.29801877719148845,0.0,0.0,0.2791049742534094,0.23435050394942314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579092402651885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274086040528841,0.10331106107235856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15362294444665953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915422540575474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565021759277043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16142192745227674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210915141777975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367577500187684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ObviousCoffee,2018/12/06,Rant: I wish life had a reset button Not suicidal. But definitely not agreeing with my diagnosis and wishing I could start all this over. I’m worried that I’m going to be alone forever due to my bipolar. ,0.9788333333333306,3.57450055,3.825000000000003,79.51333333333334,93.5,6.666666666666668,26.66666666666667,7.793537801064563,2.3979166666666667,162,8,29,4,6,57,33,40,0.23600000000000002,0.586,0.17800000000000002,-0.1788,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,1,9,9,2,1,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,4,6,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,19,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.318859276948042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.245808222691836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17496896050391966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21745687129202476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21791115439107545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33675854931556365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7080679601679652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31265575828331826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SonOfZaknafein,2018/12/06,I'm getting sick of feeling like I have to tranquilize myself. I use Seroquel as needed. A lot of stress and a hypomanic state has forced me to take a full dose of Serequel in the evenings. I feel like a mess. I feel so inadequate. I'm tired. ,0.5404666666666671,2.8745591799999985,2.5280000000000022,91.78066666666668,87.2,5.7333333333333325,24.333333333333336,7.1686216300943375,1.007733333333333,189,8,42,3,6,63,36,50,0.32,0.54,0.14,-0.8991,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,5,0,2,3,0,1,0,7,11,3,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,6,3,7,11,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,25,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971536780225432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45278537556518605,0.4264909557561632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15595174922752164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29165996614747103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25377047712171474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213308728988788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.341925960397596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22443171303691584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430770417046124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578045548906187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Bunjun,2018/12/06,"Merry Christmas to me! Merry Christmas to me my brain gave me depression after all the worry and stress finally stopped things sort out I thought would be baseline now I am fighting my brain. 

My life should be going well for myself except my brain like no become a zombie, lose interest in things then become frustrated because I lost interest in things I used to enjoy then get angry. 

Everytime I come home from work pretending to be fine I come either cry for a minute or an hour depending on the day. Pretending to be fine for my partner. 

Everything is sunny outside and beautiful but I have no drive or care. 


I feel I can't reach out to people I know people dealing with their own problems. Even if I try to reach out to professionals majority of them on holidays in my area  or not educated well meaning therapist doesn't believe in bipolar.  One therapist only does situational issues One doctor told me to go to church to fix it.  What am I supposed to do? Play the organ and scream out ""Dear God take my bipolar depression away?!""

What worse I keep mind blanking at the worst of time and when I need to think and I am just tired also tired of life I couldn't care if I didn't wake up. 
",2.818909295352324,5.241573612068969,4.162016491754123,83.18898050974516,77.9655172413793,7.310644677661171,25.604197901049474,8.321376580360154,1.9140391304347828,946,36,177,19,23,311,140,232,0.20800000000000002,0.618,0.174,-0.9055,0,0,0,0,2,0,16.0,0,0,2,3,7,22,2,1,7,0,16,11,4,2,1,39,35,15,0,7,10,0,1,1,1,2,7,1,1,1,6,12,0,2,5,4,0,5,7,10,2,2,5,2,31,12,36,23,5,29,2,4,0,0,7,14,0,7,11,125,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08762726093944566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10294952277139847,0.0,0.0,0.06679603485631849,0.2420344351774112,0.0,0.12345374579505365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3669665404927335,0.0,0.0,0.22343847178095413,0.0,0.0,0.1887786928931388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120363229922267,0.07066694962458545,0.1129672366417294,0.1887539465877769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215487705006356,0.095890010256229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237339698125733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847913901901202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055404521761512886,0.0,0.0,0.12003429353467808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05724852800095542,0.0,0.1245482412452866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991287623213132,0.0,0.1079095158740098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436805735113136,0.0,0.0973954869831632,0.0,0.0,0.060219673275274416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15479243168686255,0.0535329158584538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12258663885868624,0.1196142926192718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935953369797846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106397321467202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124863451285529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14850200487696522,0.08333688969468997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519313164435154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484868360603923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231671342169659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916097873353644,0.12551804013122853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238692590328987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544505434199523,0.21839071449314174,0.07021137419400839,0.0,0.08699048212415388,0.06389418984355573,0.2518811840944117,0.0,0.10470381498043822,0.0,0.0743943792063989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463780529897928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970425579349691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977206254896793,0.11127895112723833,0.11166650674957042,0.07783908983985391,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,imperialismus,2018/12/06,"Any artists use art to cope? I'm probably hypomanic right now, trying to setup a photography business which I hope I can sustain once the high subsides. I made this photo representing the two sides of bipolar: https://i.imgur.com/rsFRyOu.jpg Also x-posted to the other bipolar reddit, but the colors look all wrong on reddit, so check it out on imgur. This sub is also more conducive to discussion.

I'm interested in hearing if any other artists are using art to cope/process your disorder. I did read Jamison's Touched With Fire a while ago, but many of the cases discussed where never officially diagnosed bipolar, some weren't even alive when manic-depressive illness was first recognized.",7.412916666666668,9.664448458333336,7.014999999999998,68.51666666666668,64.41666666666666,9.333333333333334,35.833333333333336,9.725611199111238,3.9730833333333337,565,27,82,12,9,177,92,120,0.14,0.815,0.045,-0.9123,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,1,7,3,0,0,7,0,6,5,0,3,2,12,14,8,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,1,0,2,4,5,5,2,12,10,3,14,0,0,2,0,4,8,0,3,6,53,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17195952430732958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102658311242349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638383143120349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670824224338882,0.1968947291602313,0.0,0.0,0.22232817512148054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12812789036731048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16500692552558546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21863967681346036,0.0,0.0,0.20496000591407046,0.0,0.19267482605461247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16290188408632675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835570613720035,0.0,0.19667437584415995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14961625881862542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20659193037715629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18578781734794506,0.0,0.20915292841035216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940414740996724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656655272120857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13170578224164492,0.0,0.1894990437339537,0.0,0.0,0.33508838461985463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120964944634897,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,zhaodaowo,2019/10/19,"Bipolar Tendencies or Nah? A scenario I think anyone can relate to, not sure if my bipolar tendencies exist in this or nah, just coping in general. 

I got a new and very stressful, demanding job 2 months ago. Since then, there has been an overarching feeling of weight and darkness hovering over me (possibly depression). And during free time, I seek out any type of relief, kick of endorphins, that I can. Spending money, sex, self care, nail extensions, corn-rows, wigs, making music, singing classes, jiu jitsu classes, soccer, dining out fancy, home cooked meals, mom delivered home cooked meals, laughing exuberantly, ridiculous comments and jokes that stem from a part of me that says, ‘just fucking go hard’, writing-obviously, lots of bipolar coping research, all in attempt to soothe the frustrations and pressure of this new job. 

These bouts of sought endorphins are like sprinkle snowflakes of happiness that easily melt away from feelings of raging stormy madness of pressure. Momentarily, depression is lifted or so I think. After hyper-focusing on work for 4 hours during the weekend, it is followed by irritability and the hunger to seek happiness again. But the hunger is, raging and stormy, encompassing. 

Bipolar tendencies or nah, just coping?",9.9719696969697,10.830595985645935,8.817811004784689,62.86426036682617,58.04306220095694,11.559968102073364,41.34011164274322,11.20814326018867,5.187162360446571,1007,50,139,24,12,312,141,209,0.182,0.69,0.128,-0.8440000000000001,3,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,0,2,6,20,6,3,8,0,8,14,0,1,2,28,18,15,0,1,10,1,4,1,0,0,4,1,2,1,8,9,8,0,4,6,3,2,1,11,0,0,2,5,8,10,26,16,3,21,0,2,0,2,4,9,1,6,11,82,16,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358021300912904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418092637670352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712066577299004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439359911497756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15619711986522075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639010425125685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549245599055503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416304867203613,0.0,0.0,0.08706681714984199,0.0,0.12252765041180888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3261674734847969,0.13723667759992272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3073432174275154,0.0,0.15087066655284365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30405376713015114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748455465921284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13024475261384547,0.0,0.0,0.10226186856721596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17942542511405798,0.12228239448219033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959221002542932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16590014992685342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17270943905717906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183040651221005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15982050992334965,0.0,0.0,0.12672822526291538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17548953144331578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14438873364525245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19632813173972316,0.0,0.0,0.08933187154510194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640564755246927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865557419895134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11153107445231936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,healing_laur,2019/10/19,"Latuda Anyone have any experiencing supplementing CBD oil with Latuda? CBD oil has helped me immensely in the past before I was on antipsychotics, but I have read that it can counteract the medication. I am desperate for more relief and really would like to try something natural like the CBD. Please let me know if you have any knowledge about this. TIA.",6.326666666666667,8.636987063492063,6.555746031746036,70.50314285714288,67.25396825396825,10.754285714285713,28.473015873015875,10.793553405168565,3.6152120634920646,287,10,47,9,5,92,50,63,0.037000000000000005,0.6559999999999999,0.307,0.9746,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,9,1,0,0,0,7,10,3,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,6,3,6,7,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,31,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39402069644163945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202569514397234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465188858019608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941841540501911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15921511087890822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962445150852557,0.0,0.28307191555536204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918488108389408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27655762646650894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3180107297009536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28978488951719217,0.0,0.1855933963820486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22303021041670232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19669169043761084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057991789977735,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,chloebswag,2019/10/19,So I've been taking my serequel Is it weird that I feel so stable that I miss the highs and the lows. Like I miss them so much lol,-0.5730000000000004,1.035966366666667,0.8966666666666683,106.445,85.33333333333334,4.0,13.333333333333336,3.1291,-1.8226666666666669,101,1,28,0,3,32,22,30,0.20800000000000002,0.5479999999999999,0.244,0.4968,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,6,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,5,1,0,5,1,2,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,17,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.306788504242448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6410594084450265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964249606673874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44602739029340893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.456196732024883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bitterbuffaloheart,2019/10/19,"Can anyone else not make plans because it’ll mess up their sleep? Had plans to do stuff today so here I am up too early thinking about it.  I don’t have a problem going to sleep but I have a hard time staying asleep, especially when we have plans.
I’ve tried just about every pill that helps you sleep and sometimes I do CBT worksheets, but it doesn’t usually help.
It’s frustrating for my SO because she can’t tell me what we’re doing because it will ruin the whole day if I’m up early because I’ll be grumpy and fussy during the day.  She has to wait and make sure I got enough sleep and then she can spring the plan on me.
As I’ve gotten older it seems to get worse with age.",2.036249999999999,3.53803679166667,3.1025000000000027,94.1925,76.91666666666666,5.633333333333334,20.333333333333336,5.985473137389443,-0.13234999999999975,534,12,121,3,12,171,93,144,0.126,0.807,0.068,-0.8176,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,1,1,4,8,5,1,0,5,0,17,6,5,2,1,18,27,12,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,9,6,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,3,1,14,1,13,21,2,18,0,1,0,0,9,4,0,2,12,74,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344023401430567,0.15157783093371768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36072145171454667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908128582156992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12358147732488853,0.0,0.0,0.15285734974809645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464239190188968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07729041167430943,0.0,0.08407539176377385,0.0,0.11831786836239312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325215255510597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983166558560505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19749674890463909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14155469498333556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13467530427107724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5921710248781046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14631240627458628,0.0,0.0,0.1576800058000955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16935123351674808,0.0,0.0,0.13942785259518153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12930251345564686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479136329205404,0.0,0.0,0.08626262384462502,0.0,0.14022595320459755,0.0,0.0,0.10043877800703092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16293051418395993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16516517009691972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507593396421007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ylime1224,2019/10/19,"Help! Mixed episode! 21/F. I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was 17. I don’t take medication because I’ve reacted very very poorly to everything I’ve tried. I haven’t had a bad manic episode in a long time.. This past week or 2 I went from feeling on top of the world, spending all my money, deep cleaning my house everyday, to feeling extremely depressed and crying at everything while also having racing thoughts, can’t sit still, need to be doing something at all times, still spending all my money. It feels like my brain is literally split in two and at war with itself going back and forth between manic and depressed. Has anyone ever experienced this? Does anyone have any advice or things I can do to help deal with this?",5.2410071942446015,6.689846949640291,5.705820143884893,78.91211151079139,68.71223021582733,8.149928057553957,30.446762589928056,8.548686976883017,2.42497928057554,582,23,103,9,10,187,95,139,0.131,0.782,0.08800000000000001,-0.8805,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,1,0,3,0,14,4,1,1,4,19,22,9,1,1,2,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,6,7,0,0,4,0,5,2,3,4,0,1,5,4,10,1,16,16,3,24,0,2,0,0,3,9,0,2,13,66,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15539701234652584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12717192638424868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814219072547283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223874152697637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222801121839858,0.13277891025088515,0.09693992869841699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17752406185282862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17468107128924906,0.0,0.1639473943155856,0.2739353340826793,0.1614066357966781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916351138393976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438468677193739,0.0,0.0,0.28584213824427257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412228690228712,0.11360721603628395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037735287582888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131816933760556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834930535350282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769139377059857,0.0,0.0,0.14073177920208754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602005683953806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791473630825695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15180698809995155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242491711852375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539945243665932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956671889171586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564888737732653,0.0,0.0,0.12624778031653927,0.18545706256369213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079672742752501,0.0,0.1553439407252699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26242392195607905,0.0,0.0,0.12755995315648092,0.0,0.0,0.1474174104034667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AngelicPixie878,2019/10/19,"Can someone please convince me mania is bad I saw my therapist again today and shes really harping on me to see a psychiatrist about this manic episode. I haven't seen a psych in years. We agreed the odds of this episode being caused by switching to vyvanse are very high but I stopped taking it and I still feel like this. I dont feel bad though. I feel like I'm just finally out of my depression and productive!

Even if I made a psych appointment it wouldn't be until 6 or more months from now so what's the point?

I'm okay",1.1738685015290535,3.4903002018348666,2.567178899082567,92.8356001529052,83.6788990825688,6.2021406727828765,21.92737003058104,7.492282038375204,0.8222654434250765,418,14,91,7,12,135,81,109,0.138,0.7390000000000001,0.124,-0.6744,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,0,0,8,7,0,0,5,1,9,0,0,2,0,16,19,9,0,2,4,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,6,13,4,11,13,1,14,0,1,3,0,2,5,0,2,11,57,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3299637274377452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20298239397064166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17018652235516135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23157747132353584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13050828304182674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997268047147683,0.2823208926502509,0.0,0.2164534236165037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20876780525618105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930678737304175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18696723134353008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15771681130206078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21689772821992911,0.1867892098872724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265831064434253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15745600245707214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16741986931165262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157797988871918,0.16519655776364234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485653111946241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294206498929273,0.0,0.0,0.19413407476747024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872950171264676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16303488124327814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12724338449317124
bipolarreddit,oakrocket,2019/07/07,"To those taking Aripiprazole I'm taking it off-label for another disorder.  


I started at 2.5 mg for 2 days and increased to 5 mg.  
I've been on it for a week now.  
Sedation and some nausea are the only side effects so far, without improvement of the disorder in itself.  


Given your experience and advice from doctors, when should I bump to 10 mg?",3.2042288557213934,5.332269746268661,5.496343283582089,75.54560945273633,75.41791044776119,8.645771144278607,29.07711442786069,9.2995712137729,3.042812935323384,271,12,47,7,6,95,52,67,0.125,0.843,0.032,-0.7222,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,1,0,7,8,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,12,5,2,11,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,5,32,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25537269108009475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740316255377081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16853889673242753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5990231167553891,0.26748655972271496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556349290435164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19875638499851905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18497364505427366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3929814905180488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20962647878313367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519167793498947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,-braquo-,2019/07/07,"Just started seeing a new therapist. I've struggled with imposter syndrome a lot. So he did a full assessment on me. First off i""ve been diagnosed for several years. Been on Lamictal. But really have struggled to accept it and have a lot of imposter syndrome, or thinking I was misdiagnosed. I met with him for the first time recently and he specializes in bipolar disorder. I told him this in our first meeting. So he had me do another full assessment....turns out I'm bipolar as fuck, yall. 

I've been feeling pretty stable the past few weeks and am in a pretty good state of mind. I think having clear thoughts with no mania or depression really helped it sink in this time. 

I know this post is just kind of rambling. But like, I was just sitting here thinking about all that and it sort of sunk in. I just kind of wanted to share my realization with someone who understands.",3.0832617118703776,5.657355790419164,4.139380063402605,82.88208171891513,77.92215568862275,7.761747094047201,28.386403663261714,8.671277953709913,2.5422246565692146,695,31,127,16,17,225,102,167,0.09699999999999999,0.772,0.131,0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,1,0,3,8,11,1,2,7,0,13,4,0,0,2,32,27,11,0,1,8,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,8,9,0,0,8,0,0,0,1,4,0,3,10,2,14,7,24,17,6,25,0,1,1,1,13,11,1,5,12,91,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14772058174552172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12133613839535545,0.1429859931325506,0.0,0.0,0.16145589603479046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07123104805712968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3594867047074323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302374266815173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11815995503704635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09442609343351896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934009785047287,0.07742166712528968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06882481033886786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23953517088011864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14224442025678774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13605874599373408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448191179249888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13492009506159205,0.2866427119193674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804973168190208,0.0,0.13909787807584545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11225979026376952,0.0,0.0,0.15914957927810575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11936362616622286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971263134826376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945479915328432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16356768644738914,0.0,0.2708026137775272,0.0,0.11183966607221706,0.16429164850148525,0.0,0.0,0.1346128842829805,0.0,0.0,0.15323243998443525,0.0,0.14665669814986648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309220932628858,0.0,0.11300208628966685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071941007488726
bipolarreddit,just4funndsomet,2019/07/07,"I connect things in my mind. I am an introvert an many say a genius even if I do not think so
(sry but writing is not my greatest strength in German as a mother tongue or English).

Always when I was with  someone particular on a special place. My mind swaps from one to the other. Especially things they did come to my mind as well which kinda annoys me. Because always when I think of a nearby city, I think about hos I and a girl nearly f*cked at the age of 14 and how we were standing in front of the mirror naked. She blocked me on the same day and says I nearly raped her...",3.739264705882352,4.346044806722691,4.7877205882352944,87.23099264705883,71.52100840336134,6.958403361344536,25.79936974789916,6.6274283507984215,0.8788226890756308,448,13,96,3,8,147,82,119,0.162,0.789,0.049,-0.9442,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,1,1,7,5,2,0,11,0,6,1,0,1,0,22,10,12,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,4,6,0,1,3,0,0,2,2,2,1,1,3,2,18,3,18,7,2,16,0,0,0,1,9,9,0,3,4,74,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3263299874118409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953640608001614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16891666205538472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646369211781788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12951750488709493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198807413136502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5939937593117558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287761763743589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20487533449901973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31188187449575605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661488699136383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605508065252832,0.3769452193596958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17631105851585993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hollyrocket1979,2019/07/07,"My dads been on lithium as long as I can remember but has always had a terrible (scary!) temper, I’ve been diagnosed with adhd and wondering if he’s also go adhd, can you share your experiences with anger and temper? TLDR: I’m almost 40, my dad is 71 with bipolar and on lithium since I’ve been a child, what’s odd is to me is even on lithium his temper is insane, could this be a side effect if adhd? Or the lithium side effect? is being consistently ready to fly off the handle normal or something else? I feel like lithium doesn’t do shit. 

—-

So I’ve recently been diagnosed with adhd, I found out it’s hereditary and that 60-70% of people with bipolar often also have adhd. 

My entire life my father has been absolutely terrifying, just complete and utter rage and temper for little crap that doesn’t matter. I’ve recently learned about “rejection sensitive dysphoria” which is often something people with adhd have and can result in anger based on what someone is perceiving to be happening. 

From what I understand bipolar is more inconsistent in that someone would only get angry while in a manic state as opposed to being CONSISTENTLY angry and easily losing their temper. I’d love to hear your experience with temper. Am I wrong?

Since my diagnosis I’ve been trying to learn more about my father and whether he’s been misdiagnosed or just also has adhd and trying to understand him better. It’s not like it matters cause I know he won’t fucking listen to me anyway if I even try to bring up the idea of adhd, but curious for myself. 

I’ve been listening to podcasts and it’s seems that the episodes are often seen as “them not being themselves” and that they are apologetic. My father is not apologetic ever, and this is very much HIM. Just terrifying to be around because if someone says the wrong thing he’ll just lose it. So you walk on eggshells. He’s lost so many friends and family as a result of this and my mother is now the one he’s losing because she’s said “she’s tired of being yelled at”. 

Curious whether anyone with bipolar relates to the short temper (daily) even while mediated (with lithium). What has helped?!",5.791828191828195,6.810424479115483,6.756702156702158,73.4689671489672,67.1081081081081,9.272872872872874,30.061789061789064,9.444778638647367,2.828235308035308,1701,61,290,33,27,568,192,407,0.23199999999999998,0.691,0.076,-0.9978,0,0,2,0,0,0,41.0,0,4,3,7,22,27,13,0,12,0,45,12,2,5,1,72,66,39,0,7,18,6,1,2,1,3,8,6,0,1,19,26,0,1,14,0,0,3,6,21,0,1,13,8,30,6,48,42,3,28,0,5,1,2,34,17,3,13,9,208,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7008997241948655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299951296466288,0.0,0.0,0.17489597214414726,0.06065921603720373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05097385915807349,0.0,0.0,0.06489707208855636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887917090583028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447473822405116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07488909252423304,0.0,0.0,0.07643498899738356,0.0,0.0,0.05820527090545595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479853364957377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060899174095394214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14445065938051407,0.06594284992757257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426217314447544,0.06872428480796591,0.0,0.03686078050283765,0.052080269223415215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799318464361262,0.056322894117400074,0.06739551542624414,0.03808760291871438,0.0,0.04143114349329255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06446584153926575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08216437860616536,0.0,0.048863797441276016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822960082272654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04006431403031167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05149191497825978,0.07123119190990232,0.07306564549314022,0.0,0.06451481873118071,0.0,0.2446716825930387,0.07957971741403902,0.0,0.06579572113240903,0.0,0.0,0.07390985988685822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05359039698197415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07142720027848559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04939939586125641,0.05544426160824747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108032212673802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143961277898143,0.0,0.082582273359013,0.0,0.06934525257178083,0.057973556623376575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06636605241085565,0.0,0.0,0.0748315131469954,0.12060841219180088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18530556032000653,0.11224502924445688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04843198072918303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837886217993539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484843544562558,0.0,0.0,0.15178438355806442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060150706015769675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905769118249407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05178656026448423,0.1594109260141914,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,trip_irl,2019/07/07,Appetite issues Anybody ever go days without eating because simply you have no appetite and even chewing is too much work. Maybe I'm just manic or something. But I just take a bite and instantly don't want to continue chewing and just have to because it's already in my mouth,7.309748427672957,7.3751353207547155,7.330188679245285,73.97503144654087,63.716981132075475,8.576100628930817,40.30817610062893,7.793537801064563,3.5245270440251577,224,12,36,2,3,72,43,53,0.069,0.9309999999999999,0.0,-0.3447,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,1,0,4,4,1,0,1,11,8,5,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,4,8,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,26,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.327572624295944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3619043619222598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914385888914697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30374356156585874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19606139878653825,0.26851066209493624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687021986910326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3098260166863357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982177745389931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2182130889302626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285235408569492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22318830686509072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17508515374321654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28614517889832963,0.0,0.21610457460616705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Hyper_with_Huperzine,2019/10/23,"A quiet workplace I (19) am looking for a first job after first episode psychosis. 

It seems like this could be a stressful transition. 

Im looking for a quiet place. Just enough cash to push this business until it becomes cash flow positive. 😊 

But what would a perfect place look like. 

It would be great to have a part time at some kind of corner coffee shop. 

Do you guys have any ideas?",1.8278666666666687,4.481718453333336,2.2920000000000016,93.47266666666668,84.46666666666667,4.4,23.0,5.82211442006289,0.3642000000000003,304,11,59,2,9,93,55,75,0.040999999999999995,0.753,0.20600000000000002,0.9201,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,3,2,6,0,1,6,0,9,0,0,0,1,9,13,2,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,2,0,1,6,0,0,0,2,1,3,2,0,1,0,2,0,5,2,5,8,8,3,11,0,0,3,0,2,4,0,2,7,38,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12348480315003267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20054762691145786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449817582780672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876270253201603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089141585830635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20019936218221976,0.0,0.1797988291280323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049886511384112,0.1961441932789108,0.0,0.1801962263482448,0.0,0.0,0.1890940232601915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17742763304228584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4574598759461205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966400959250774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3794377386880815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16530920342470726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080063117005949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588433945081192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579871700799602,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,JaneReigns,2019/10/23,"Seroquel aggression I take lamictal and Wellbutrin. A few months ago, my doctor wanted to add Seroquel and it made me out of control aggressive. It was terrifying. Has anyone else had that issue? I also have the worst insomnia, my racing thoughts never quiet down.",4.110289855072463,7.438429304347827,5.099999999999998,72.15333333333334,82.04347826086956,7.41449275362319,29.40579710144928,8.344100000000001,3.2681710144927543,212,10,29,5,6,69,41,46,0.22899999999999998,0.7709999999999999,0.0,-0.8909999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,2,0,2,0,4,2,0,2,1,9,8,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,1,5,0,4,4,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,24,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706431205131102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24416010995116896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21348318496002225,0.31283106061599364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3424364741586544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3125026027120344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25505131183030083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186692949018529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28889621602551746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436993352330167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354775714184967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295587089157887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423858220881299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18008256081224708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,el_pusstolero,2019/10/23,"How do I stop getting so quickly irritated with the people around me?? Any tips on how to keep my cool and not take such offence to minor things?? I always push people away bc I’m quick to snap and it makes people not wanna be around me. People like my boyfriend. I feel like I take offence to shit he doesn’t mean as offensive and I just snap at him. It’s not fair to him. Or say my mom comes into my room and tells me to clean it up. Is there a coping mechanism I can use to not wanna yell at her to leave me alone?? 
Also why the fuck am I like this?? My therapist says it’s like an onion. The inner most layer is fear, then sadness is the middle layer, and the outer most layer is anger. But why is it I do that? Am I just wired to be shitty? Is it a defence mechanism?? Cause I feel flat out crazy",-0.34377906976743944,1.7143300872093048,1.965162790697676,96.29088372093024,88.24418604651163,4.602790697674418,15.576744186046513,5.985473137389443,-0.6883590697674413,613,12,143,5,20,207,100,172,0.198,0.6970000000000001,0.105,-0.9631,0,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,13,12,5,1,8,1,14,2,1,5,0,34,26,13,0,2,8,1,2,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,9,11,0,3,3,0,0,2,5,7,0,0,0,6,22,5,22,24,2,19,0,1,0,1,8,13,2,3,8,99,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15949375619251813,0.0,0.1231508103714298,0.12813728389331444,0.0,0.0,0.10472278593110328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741787676568719,0.0,0.0,0.1446846223506971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581966523175116,0.0,0.13265420350588664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17328868605556724,0.1557303441879098,0.1100150097328662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14236712667061688,0.08045672705393762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13687901481692102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630598793572374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009393149499421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279374683381498,0.0,0.0,0.1677471501776125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18035864181966446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4270466642509076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449281269576126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580750209234795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12874782832822668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315721518674979,0.0,0.1345995810751648,0.0,0.0,0.17880160971408335,0.10230831965260828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13300338603984008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779154725048127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ashhtreeee,2019/10/23,I hate when I miss a dose of lithium and i feel incredible. It feels so good. Idk i dont have the words except i take my dose when i remember. I dont take it my life falls apart. My only motivation to take it. This is a weird labrynth in my head.,-1.4017922077922087,0.5319419636363669,1.6342857142857168,97.34000000000002,93.0,5.324675324675325,16.948051948051948,6.868970318607317,-0.24001298701298746,188,5,49,3,7,66,37,55,0.16399999999999998,0.7190000000000001,0.11599999999999999,-0.1374,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,1,0,3,0,4,4,1,1,0,7,11,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,2,11,1,4,11,0,5,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,30,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5736373193669008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474830270496929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20526571029230334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24161761575169705,0.25116088956419896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17285818169835188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18612619575822376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772284079817625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5520135856319728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,zedalcifer,2019/10/23,"Doctor decreased my medication too soon On mobile, sorry for the formatting.

I've been taking the same dose of my respiridone for a long time and recently got rexulti added on. The new medication seems to be working and for the past 3 weeks I've been pretty stable for the first time in a while. 

It's been a rough year. I've been sober from cocaine and alcohol since January and have managed to drastically cut back on my pot smoking. I've had two medication changes this year. That has been challenging for sure. Tried lamictal and it made things worse so I had a really hard summer with a lot of ups and downs. 

I started seeing my current psychiatrist in June. I saw him previously when I was a teenager, probably about 8 years ago. Never really was a huge fan but after this situation I'm liking him even less. 

Like I said, I've been stable for a few weeks. So he decides he can decrease my respiridone. I just don't see how a few weeks of being stable when I've been unstable for years and have been having a really rough go at it this year is reason enough to decrease a medication that has always done good things for me at the current dose. I've been crazy irriatable since the dosage adjustment and am considering going against his directions and continuing to take my regular dose just so I can feel like myself again. 

Really just needed to vent about this to a community that understands. I'm annoyed. 

Tl;dr: doctor decreased my medication but I'm not happy with the change",4.431967963386724,6.362407403508778,5.6798016781083165,76.41151029748285,71.45614035087719,9.167048054919908,27.82990083905416,9.653516015845867,2.7577383676582765,1190,44,216,30,23,397,154,285,0.077,0.8240000000000001,0.099,0.7452,2,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,3,16,9,2,0,20,0,26,11,0,3,2,30,44,18,0,1,6,0,4,3,0,0,11,1,0,0,12,11,1,0,6,0,0,2,3,2,0,2,18,8,19,7,33,24,6,42,0,0,3,0,6,10,0,2,33,146,31,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883247697423351,0.1064847631131349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290838847299901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661694164796304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21081162947275947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20397134334019631,0.0,0.10196622384812973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295466415342497,0.0,0.06581122191311786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05038093317053178,0.07118277278600202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475365794156689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325531597756565,0.0835732305016762,0.07969113961921888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606853873948,0.08925778955799789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603708346573854,0.0,0.0,0.08817818631795843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08471028972102325,0.0,0.09428169358788366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5018836416445012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388173194976695,0.07684844246397718,0.09623284755938064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511757015324557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10136961133470353,0.10742867728433256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25532751529434194,0.10244642417177036,0.09838239209791486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947803732816668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15880021831156507,0.0907084333454613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648463291213081,0.11199943543419254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11153872344344147,0.07052564230398017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390943753261637,0.0,0.14983362642947792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323926596858475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116201667522725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06764895946930445,0.0,0.09733371542875764,0.10372866200948344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23977538079704835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07253904238095693,0.0,0.10154158243894247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.320824181372935
bipolarreddit,Anon429763,2019/10/23,"I’m tired of fighting Just as the title says. I’m tired of fighting so hard to live when it seems to come so easy to normal people. Not sure the point of my posting this but I get the feeling my husband is tired of hearing it. I’ve had the urge to cut all day because I just feel numb and empty but somehow my mind is in pain still. I just figured that I’d probably fuck it up and slit my wrists and then my husband would have to leave work early to clean up my mess. Instead, I started drinking at 10 this morning. I’ve been taking different pills all day (for legitimate issues like allergies and a headache) just hoping that one of them will have a bad interaction with the alcohol. I just want to go to sleep peacefully and never wake up. I’m barely existing and this isn’t life. I’m already dead inside so why even stay alive? My oxygen would be better spent on someone who actually wants it.",3.3537470725995284,4.7160945737704925,4.5319008587041365,85.85274590163935,73.20765027322403,7.195784543325528,27.27907884465261,7.7094869923839395,1.5139308352849343,709,26,145,9,14,233,116,183,0.214,0.6579999999999999,0.128,-0.9489,1,0,2,0,4,0,14.0,0,0,1,2,13,12,4,0,7,0,11,13,3,0,4,32,29,14,1,6,8,2,3,1,0,3,8,2,1,0,10,8,2,0,4,1,1,2,3,8,0,1,3,5,13,4,22,22,2,19,0,0,0,1,9,7,1,3,9,90,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.13733716718208822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15040303352098958,0.0,0.0,0.1553046947356412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750793928664433,0.08579081749068111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12446876907975678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123083670282125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815250079112289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14703823719262735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378668304940822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09295421359898773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14231980161172092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13010734246721045,0.07352828693955815,0.0,0.07998300689886655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260710163822965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861869856336294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397817203177619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14689089189321136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14901816214411753,0.0,0.0,0.09940537102502996,0.06875606649459917,0.0,0.12427168151731564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14210234317403114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10854359375026576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13789052801706353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09536575355711273,0.0,0.14975208080876165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975680058566499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330401696287969,0.0,0.13478533368763454,0.0,0.15173625294676552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191820906681092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12811995953448316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14083674834727986,0.0,0.11924440296040338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996130360196711,0.1500049030655419,0.1123912415458718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264117671134815,0.0,0.1058152888714294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4852629218290247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16601842973463482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12699154785141525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10245683705200252,0.0,0.0,0.1999483701227499,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,clmntclmnt,2019/10/23,"It's possible I just wanted to say it's possible. After years of fighting I finally have a full time job. I managed to pay my bills. I managed to go out with friends regularly. Therapy, it eventually works. In short, I think this is a message of hope for all of you: I know it's not easy, but it's possible.  
(I must admit that the social system of my country (France) where everything is almost free has saved my life.If you have the energy, fight for a universal health-care system).  


Good luck to all of you. And thanks to this sub-reddit!",1.343055555555555,3.723364601851852,3.544074074074075,85.68333333333334,83.53703703703705,7.303703703703704,22.88888888888889,8.344100000000001,1.6492444444444443,419,15,85,10,12,143,71,108,0.07,0.6859999999999999,0.244,0.9687,1,0,0,0,3,0,21.0,0,3,0,1,2,9,2,0,5,0,6,0,0,0,3,17,13,2,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,0,3,0,4,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,13,8,16,12,3,12,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,3,4,56,21,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19697269737280684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17678671623972592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21548186551523724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15197460815276445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11179258268564173,0.1649877041182866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090893353376201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953734941013588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952004047895758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081045021048535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389393021165604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6652695554436789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15642854809085327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005170486695517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811005047809287,0.22495051404995506,0.0,0.0,0.12604129575138828,0.0,0.0,0.11470088103693885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602232619809505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14320434892286635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266722485001646
bipolarreddit,partlycrazyfool,2019/10/23,"Have any of you written poetry to help when your feeling a way? Would you like to share some of it? - Untitled -

Cobbled together in mismatched garments.


I set myself right into work.


Boots smeared with dirt, laced up tight.


A collared white shirt buttons on its ends, short sleeved.


Glasses round, with a nose piece missing. 


Slacks whose knees are stained brown, and deep.


Taken to the streets, inside my car. ignition.  

.
.

I made my bed this morning.


Dust scraped from my eyes on floral blankets.


Blankets that are disintegrating, but they still hold beauty. 



- August -

Curses 

Curses 

Curses

Curses Curses.


I’m drunk and I say curses.

My mind is a silly silly man.


Curses. My bi-polar mind.


Curses -__-


I don’t know what I want.


0_--------- mmm",1.863664122137404,4.361274816793895,2.0368061068702303,89.79273587786261,102.3587786259542,3.622717557251909,22.033893129770995,5.6839178017228535,0.5215096793893133,575,22,96,5,25,173,101,131,0.049,0.831,0.12,0.7476,0,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,3,1,1,2,5,0,0,5,0,6,6,4,2,0,17,14,4,0,2,1,0,3,1,0,1,1,1,1,1,6,5,1,2,2,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,8,15,4,13,10,2,16,0,1,4,0,9,9,0,1,5,52,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007228496142063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614292680418022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14924468528445825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978433980898844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622153914546454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14420308894723252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792929944346424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5960665837084964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25206996028273865,0.0,0.23472767247591195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357197703100472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740964223992071,0.23428885446617445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21488420062282912,0.0,0.0,0.2096772988310052,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sp00k24,2019/10/23,Workout Habits? Does anyone have any coping mechanisms or tips and tricks for keeping up a workout schedule or any motivation to workout throughout episodes?,9.5004,12.64263284,7.221,65.55550000000002,60.6,8.200000000000001,48.5,8.841846274778883,5.4702,131,9,15,2,2,38,21,25,0.057,0.838,0.105,0.3094,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,8,0,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6891784447972965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35431271543957377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4434369773014191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4503989543353714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Beef-missile69,2019/10/23,"If lithium dosent work i think im over this whole living thing. This is my second account that i will dispose of tomorrow. But basically ive tried all sorts of meds. Im now on 1800mg of lithium starting today. Im gonna give it one month and if it dosent work i think im gonna take a sabbatical from life. I know this is probably gonna hurt some of you and im sorry. But its torture living like this. I think about dying all the time. I feel bad that i may leave behind loved ones, but honestly it beats the hell out of this. Each waking second is a nightmare. I hope lithium works, but if not i just want to say i love you guys, and keep fighting.",0.6461562178828402,2.5812307841726643,2.628905447070917,93.89850719424463,82.88489208633094,5.410277492291882,20.000513874614594,6.5431188927421005,0.058510380267214224,505,14,116,5,14,169,84,139,0.142,0.732,0.126,0.182,0,0,0,0,2,0,14.0,0,2,0,4,3,10,3,0,4,0,6,4,1,0,2,27,22,10,1,5,9,0,1,1,0,5,1,1,0,1,12,5,0,1,5,0,1,0,1,5,0,4,0,2,14,5,12,17,5,9,1,1,0,2,8,3,1,7,7,69,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389790646894967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129143733997821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291800165290908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11936925176264912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12321007029691056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12359188827417693,0.0,0.0,0.13321008614567592,0.0,0.6720549838791346,0.0,0.0,0.11060341676388863,0.0,0.0,0.06838614218132906,0.0,0.0,0.13175854471293605,0.0,0.0,0.08789201822419893,0.060792584817634325,0.0,0.21975651383910635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22461463021080452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821907232948674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993227142661258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16864055660524982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416182014863873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895559132758526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13929463279736515,0.08807563099386438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09355952502349954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266898861074885,0.2391984923147729,0.0,0.0,0.07255896476270479,0.0,0.11794969297149498,0.0,0.0,0.0844830985821605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733949016100713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138927072038457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717701698563427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,321zer0_o,2019/10/23,"Could it be.. bipolar!? (Underneath all the antipsychotic medication) I’ve been under psychiatric care from the age of 15... I am now 31. My mental health issues were first picked up on at school, I was sent to child and adolescent psych services and told I’d experienced a prolonged acute psychotic episode. They put me on risperdal and diazepam and I had a short stay in a psych ward, before my parents prematurely took me home against the advice of the professionals.

I never came off the antipsychotic meds, they just uppedtge dose or changed the type, since then I’ve been on; risperidone, quetiapine, depakote, aripiprazole, flupentixol -and that’s just the antipsychotics. 
I had a diagnosis of BPD and major depressive disorder for many, many years, but they’ve recently diagnosed ADHD. 

I think it’s possible that I have bipolar, but it has gone undiagnosed because I have been consistently taking antipsychotic meds for over half my life. Bipolar has been mentioned in appointments, but I’ve never officially been assessed. I think it would just make sense. I’m not stable - nowhere near - but the multitude of medication I take keeps me at least semi-functioning. 

Do you think it’s worth requesting an assessment? I know labels are for the doctors, but if this theory is correct my treatment might change improving my quality of life.",6.914411063423941,9.21819918454936,6.677217453505013,70.24574511206487,65.7381974248927,10.843013829279924,35.69122556032427,10.864195022040775,4.5662209823557465,1082,53,172,33,18,340,150,233,0.027999999999999997,0.932,0.040999999999999995,0.5886,1,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,2,1,4,2,0,0,14,0,21,11,0,2,4,32,36,14,0,3,11,1,0,0,0,2,11,0,1,1,8,7,0,1,4,0,1,5,3,1,0,2,14,1,22,1,24,18,3,28,0,1,0,0,9,14,0,3,8,114,30,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15761242192803598,0.12815469118243186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799455950793274,0.0,0.11159588080170384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16517423140743456,0.0,0.0,0.14999648168999305,0.13371243988185744,0.0,0.27747088872097475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047096855622197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11295615537651915,0.13311078027158085,0.0,0.0,0.15030507415306876,0.13423384196536595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155301465206327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13940243279422931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315504777515547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368827120153218,0.0,0.1165688978643517,0.0,0.0,0.07207460182075583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852650848452536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754120411950625,0.26592362060375563,0.0,0.0,0.29134805047979084,0.2642322919848472,0.13216467051090208,0.1391255478972845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20229629343155164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145622496770711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14784779967062894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183830028725813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12949119476082438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13272710341262364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848561238788317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13978455493438102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972114611971439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252099848592122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531595346479046,0.14570841556705594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316260120927973,0.0,0.0,0.08445394682576593
bipolarreddit,bagginsb22,2018/11/14,"Ever Heard of Mind Maps? Me neither til last week ---> Do You create them? Do they Help You? Made my first mind map... and then immediately made 2 more. Still confused, thoughts still racing, still need direction, but now I have a map... It's a weird self-efficacy boost that I wasn't expecting. 

​

Yay - I'm slightly less confused",1.6066666666666656,4.328839904761907,2.2257301587301583,90.3262142857143,94.3968253968254,5.05968253968254,22.173015873015874,6.742157984588678,0.8185187301587304,266,10,51,4,10,82,52,63,0.175,0.7190000000000001,0.106,-0.6663,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,2,2,1,5,4,0,2,2,1,4,0,0,2,1,12,10,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,5,1,8,1,2,5,3,13,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,2,10,30,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254672573156081,0.252854178035009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18823084552660066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770026837504335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394794722720366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16962249957888215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39380277380114975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4202265697887226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15429735014216106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21708501399079447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4985468731990825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16520155643012388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669186004440478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252854178035009,0.0
bipolarreddit,mrvideotapes,2018/11/14,"Anyone taking Vraylar Just started Vraylar along with Lamictal. Was taking Latuda with Lamictal, but the doctor plans to switch the Latuda out with this one if it works. I've started feeling uneasy and anxious since I started it. I've read people having the same effect and it going away over time. Has anyone had this medicine/side effects? I have BPII

I have not posted on this sub before, so I do not know the finer points about what we are allowed to post in regards to medicine. For reference, I am asking about experience with the drug, successes, and side effects, and not for medical advice. ",6.937051948051952,7.9204475363636355,6.736753246753249,74.75227272727275,64.54545454545455,8.467532467532468,32.98701298701299,8.418075326091056,2.7888831168831167,479,19,76,6,7,151,72,110,0.053,0.8859999999999999,0.06,0.1901,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,6,4,1,0,0,5,0,9,3,0,4,0,25,18,7,0,1,6,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,11,0,0,6,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,1,6,1,17,16,1,14,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,4,57,13,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188972625042694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184688966875201,0.0,0.2704372047145505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18078795266762465,0.0,0.18169065148855013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16455555660486418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19793673763882252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2242640664618684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891666778841472,0.0,0.0,0.09778077045207544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990459442856257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10627879931126767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19481405392465725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13104201596623458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406812932698942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18281040501826015,0.0,0.3704168674875831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19343635127609904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599692587384023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4106346115762832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908014304203521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276377652363392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14078586888927322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,macnsleaze,2018/11/14,"No more panic attacks?? At the beginning of my diagnosis, my brain felt different, more youthful... fuller, “juicier” and more aligned with my body. I used to get panic attacks out the ass. And now, although my stress levels have increased, I never get panic attacks. Ever. Instead, my brain and neck feels like they’re burning and I can’t think straight. It’s almost as though I’ve internalized the panic and let that energy coarse through me instead of expressing it and feeling relieved afterward. 

Anyone else??",4.4220000000000015,7.567044977777781,4.571111111111115,78.32000000000005,77.0,6.711111111111113,32.33333333333333,7.908726449838941,2.9084666666666674,408,21,62,7,10,127,64,90,0.295,0.593,0.11199999999999999,-0.9740000000000001,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,5,10,3,5,3,0,3,5,5,1,2,16,11,9,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,8,0,0,1,3,9,2,8,9,4,11,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,1,7,43,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136391953875872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952393237271136,0.13956049353246364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4648664632733089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15129562456192525,0.0,0.3041048267168279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14230765706556886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11378373645202945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12320731715181195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377410251108212,0.09730653519841397,0.13078038544480178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14232540381595435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13928121098843746,0.0,0.06654401547995076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505148056040314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.639239760691855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560250225784506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727614956727403,0.13382299837776868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763939026701348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HP0515,2018/11/14,"A ramble about social isolation and searching for a job... Hello all,

  
I am new to this forum and am happy to find a place where I can get support, help others and have a place to discuss the frustrations, joys and lows of bipolar. I am schizoaffective, which sucks. I don't hallucinate, but I do deal with mood issues and over thinking/analyzing on the daily, paranoia, cognitive issues, PTSD and anxiety.  I am medicated and have been for the past 12 years, and it works for the most part. I have a wonderful girlfriend who has been with me for 7 years. I had two psychotic breaks in those 7 years and thankfully she has stuck with me. I love her so much and she loves me too. I also have 2 dogs and 2 cats who I consider to be my children. I am truly blessed.

​

My girlfriend and I just moved to a new town. The past city I lived in, I was there for 21 years and lived a very Gangster lifestyle. Before you judge or interpret me as uneducated or unsavory, understand poverty and bipolar combined with the need to feed yourself can create opportunities that aren't legal. But crime can actually pay handsomely when done intelligently. I walked away from that world 2 years ago, and now am in a completely new environment in a smaller town. For the past month I have been socially isolated up here, in my last town I socially isolated myself for a year and a half (To leave the old lifestyle behind completely.) I do have 3 best friends from my old town that I speak too usually daily by phone or text. I also have my mother for support, and my younger brother who has the personality disorder called, Narcissism.

  
In this new town I am even more isolated. I have made one friend so far, he too has a mental illness and he seems like a cool kid. I also go to the community center to swim and lift weights a few days a week. I also try to walk at least 5km every other day. For the past month I have been contemplating getting a part time job. It honestly scares the crap out of me.

I seriously lack social skills and am incredibly introverted. I have not worked a real part time job in over 7 years. My last job I was a pizza delivery person and actually got robbed a few times, and then got attacked inside the store, then quit.

  
I suppose my question would be to the people in this forum, what would your advice be for myself in terms of getting a job? I am a medicated bipolar, I want something super easy, like 15 hours a week. I just have intense fear of working, anxiety about social stuff, dealing with authority etc. I am on a government pension, but poverty is insane, and prevents me from being able to enjoy life. It honestly sucks. I have a small website that makes me around $80 a month extra on top of my government pension, my girlfriend works, and I also sometimes write articles for chump change on line too when I'm lucky to get an order.

  
There is an employment place ran through the government here in this town, that provides some sort of support in terms of finding work and even funding, and I am thinking of scheduling an appointment there. Poverty and social isolation is a hard thing to deal with. I am understanding I have to get a job, I just want to know if anyone in here can read through this long ramble and offer me any suggestions, support, or experience? If anyone can relate to my post or understand it, I would like to hear your views.  


Thank you all and I hope you all have a good day!",5.473701579706578,6.265315677760968,6.293164690567497,77.32309713964042,67.714069591528,9.537642050452098,31.559687576962318,9.648456367147027,2.9011897477395063,2697,107,512,56,43,890,303,661,0.11699999999999999,0.6940000000000001,0.19,0.996,7,2,1,0,0,0,81.0,0,5,0,11,29,37,5,2,46,1,57,13,1,2,3,82,92,51,0,10,14,2,2,3,5,3,7,2,0,4,24,37,3,1,11,2,3,6,3,9,0,3,13,6,71,27,76,72,19,90,1,1,1,2,46,39,3,15,45,362,95,20,0.05366310129859474,0.0,0.10473489174400502,0.0,0.0,0.05243896151559197,0.04756910145494997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145718136027086,0.0,0.0581439478368205,0.06520654179693137,0.03649274906919829,0.0,0.08210425122211516,0.0,0.0,0.07504497631446146,0.0,0.0,0.047771537393909914,0.0,0.06104952478398951,0.050418250151302885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045663346730933835,0.0,0.056316114062624587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054796026320277344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056768445700608614,0.0,0.11252948145669812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038247826999656,0.16597290329994135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061502563241254575,0.0,0.0,0.054915984059281935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05984854314813054,0.07088794459791965,0.0,0.0452134773146468,0.0,0.0,0.05249281021183913,0.0,0.06038590819114846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809420479573057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291995789243194,0.0,0.1401837778284453,0.0,0.03049797713464612,0.045010063340665,0.08583856865216856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05712536919366808,0.04807159825624612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060482215278922224,0.0,0.03596924563082062,0.0,0.0,0.05329956793801177,0.052847345170533716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202067128862644,0.3195140861189225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029491837062366907,0.0874851797541504,0.0,0.05682147593506751,0.0,0.0,0.037903835453644834,0.07865124199963815,0.0,0.09477100320050172,0.04749015596993904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686608813867882,0.050777323968237656,0.035820536817622706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811985782748718,0.05407978441285626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12850012644206504,0.05703538409783902,0.039448554010039695,0.039790509650220435,0.0,0.2073126305205305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262079541520133,0.0,0.03636350625190532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17433572782599602,0.2049100091839509,0.037203237625857435,0.09371310034324833,0.16819955774442022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051394417192752215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06272929371432705,0.0,0.06011495483210408,0.057077313752759824,0.05367762329592539,0.061080357625807165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053726126003605684,0.0,0.0,0.048852871977107734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3282166429213097,0.0,0.04131247712158045,0.0530741793462574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06143141220239098,0.0,0.2435850056684956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881154762141506,0.0,0.0,0.035651380008456086,0.03438514849107892,0.0,0.0,0.09387415774331913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03643372324326272,0.0,0.0524210524151364,0.16759554294825207,0.0,0.0,0.059102324614556175,0.0442776786259533,0.06330377501784691,0.0,0.0860906059067224,0.06534720045802715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058195344243683736,0.195336884349144,0.0,0.0,0.11436218247878475,0.0,0.06520654179693137,0.24190094475685545
bipolarreddit,TheBipolarOwl,2019/10/05,"Are you pregnant?? People ask me this because I'm fat. My meds make me fat. I also have a toddler, since I had my baby I never lost weight or the belly like other lucky moms.

I'm seriously considering a crash diet. I'm quickly becoming depressed.

/ end of vent",0.11653846153846105,2.488266423076926,3.283461538461537,83.09903846153847,96.30769230769228,4.907692307692308,21.884615384615387,6.6274283507984215,0.9968000000000004,202,8,37,3,8,72,41,52,0.151,0.713,0.136,-0.2018,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,2,5,0,0,3,0,3,4,2,1,1,4,9,2,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,8,2,1,7,0,3,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,4,21,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22751133176562005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26596533640019565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734261083126346,0.3142034572917053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450359699927048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519789946741477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13899036498094094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105609683591379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189903275250918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160108978427548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33319825238721984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21942083776531165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972336905797772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23533801387899814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34643945897964434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LavenderIslandLife,2019/10/05,"My SO of two years thinks I’m faking So I’m making this post in search of advice on where to take this conversation. I have been sober for one year and been dating my fiancée for two. We have lived together for about one year. Last year I was seeing a psych, and getting medicaided until we couldn’t afford it any more. I was diagnosed in 2016. Been on and off meds since mostly due to finances. My SO has been wonderfully supportive and helpful the last two years. He has put up with a lot of ups and downs, a lot of crying and tantrums and slip ups with sobriety. I even feel guilty most of the time that he has to take care of me. This morning I was talking to him about getting on some low dose antidepressants and sleep aids. He said “trust me you’re not bipolar”. Right to my face. Then walked away. I’m just confused because does that mean he didn’t really believe me this entire time? Or does he just think my previous issues were alcohol and drug related? Like does he think I’m better now? I want to re open the conversation but am currently having a hard time not being emotional about it.",3.321278538812784,5.071979689497724,4.1878767123287695,86.70775114155255,74.0228310502283,7.606392694063928,24.03881278538813,8.344100000000001,1.3516867579908671,868,26,179,15,18,279,129,219,0.065,0.861,0.07400000000000001,0.4562,2,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,2,0,0,1,11,9,1,1,7,0,18,7,2,1,0,35,38,16,0,2,6,0,2,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,8,14,1,0,6,0,1,2,4,4,0,5,10,4,17,5,32,26,6,34,0,1,1,0,14,15,0,8,17,115,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535367712442306,0.0,0.12615581214200186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08027567045276505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090857600989112,0.0,0.0,0.07196005294236782,0.0,0.0,0.1329979856207787,0.0,0.10440253950982073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203562778337454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12966854119637036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981471632099627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3099098724733529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689646692163934,0.0,0.0,0.13278642795422504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796860232187326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059687859133870425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334885190963367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574648055257917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791240830669968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12320988034104348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924473118242768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05767155891244135,0.0,0.10423722541394924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20071783199979254,0.0,0.0,0.07879695781646931,0.0,0.0,0.1285872489670753,0.13112305384917142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15998273184898987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305591940618183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866934080719707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562361297628664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081106910145496,0.11228925732564136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09406777985756512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09764928765832567,0.0,0.11813175539913752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339577734004121,0.0,0.0,0.17751255931620225,0.09488130809248434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269182990438832,0.0,0.0,0.20650159670744486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34594284364423145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06962688631805371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12801639765567285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3800903901424285
bipolarreddit,writerstears,2019/10/05,"DAE feel frequently foggy (unrelated to meds)? I often feel detached and sort of in a fog - maybe about 7 days a month on average - and I was wondering if it’s related to bipolar. I can’t describe it well other than feeling foggy. Does any one else here experience this? And I don’t mean med related brain fogs, I don’t know if or how they compare, but I’ve experienced this for years now, long before I took any meds. 

I’d be curious about your experiences and knowledge on this.",3.997398496240603,5.290911957894738,5.8502255639097775,77.29157894736842,71.52631578947368,9.639097744360905,30.413533834586467,9.957137785484203,3.068248120300753,376,16,74,10,7,130,69,95,0.015,0.912,0.073,0.594,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,0,7,1,0,0,2,0,5,2,1,1,0,18,12,9,0,2,4,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,7,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,2,4,8,1,10,9,0,10,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,6,6,45,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444992158204248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15297083327812386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20068251632916695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11593662942343193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573177368422562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15017457496516914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3516986596068196,0.0,0.0,0.2726909909924389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09879676399795634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590905890896595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18060289628340664,0.1958219804308886,0.5990510635653772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14349051500767335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12181664837325568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19973082863635047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16163461237050414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19495264668879245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157658376523744
bipolarreddit,pixiefairyqueen,2019/10/05,"I think I'm bipolar but I'm not sure. I've suffered from depression since I started high school. I started taking antidepressants like resperidone when I was first diagnosed, but the medication would make me numb and unable to complete tasks. I suffered with depression and anxiety throughout college and had multiple all-nighters because of studies/poor time management.

But now I think I'm bipolar. The all nighters first appeared to induce panic and sadness. I would go to class feeling drained and exhausted. But over time, I started to feel ""stronger"" because of my all-nighters. I realized I was a night owl a long time ago, but I recognized that I began feeling more confident, sociable and energized after staying up late. I felt like I could run a mile after staying up all night, talk to strangers I would never approach and multitask on assignments I couldn't before. I later found out that this is called hypomania and I'm starting to think my depression is ""no longer depression"". At the same time, the symptoms of restlessness and insomnia are common with anxiety as well.

Does this mean that my depression ""transitioned"" into bipolar disorder? How can I determine if my insomnia and sudden drive is anxiety/depression and not bipolar? I know I can't get an official diagnosis unless it's a professional psychiatrist but I would like it if someone could give some advice/clarification.",6.774781771501927,9.042580410569107,6.919636285836543,68.51293324775354,66.03252032520325,10.870004278990159,39.77663671373556,10.882677951670544,5.249556097560977,1135,66,171,35,19,364,138,246,0.19899999999999998,0.6679999999999999,0.133,-0.9634,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,2,4,18,0,2,9,0,16,11,0,3,4,54,41,23,0,9,11,0,4,3,0,4,11,0,0,0,7,15,0,0,12,0,0,5,6,12,1,2,6,4,26,6,23,28,5,40,0,8,0,0,3,9,0,4,27,115,33,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482957300263666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464158111010206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11667194615675322,0.0,0.08143105685367914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771728649094903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033643237112792,0.0,0.0,0.15281245681996167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.494541861815633,0.09713039081965108,0.0,0.0,0.10967699659545252,0.0,0.08374504667567839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14516176133144582,0.0,0.09188408020776064,0.0,0.0,0.1627995551999402,0.0,0.10492676730171692,0.0,0.0,0.04999770713073271,0.09180123536171766,0.0543867825678047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110908281669044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05259254155627082,0.0,0.10795032894893823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025808919840493,0.0,0.0,0.08468879019238522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06387845786496274,0.0,0.0,0.10424203411820042,0.0,0.0964046102625838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07380738811042982,0.0,0.0,0.3592204231477652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227975289190192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685042338814076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07916150673931535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108371600026767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27093917775664544,0.20400043367826573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901932437531313,0.0994657737557818,0.07195219748960739,0.07691758424576553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839562263054028,0.0,0.0,0.2232066467176393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604305165504518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719214731299891,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wgrz-is-ok,2019/10/05,"Antipsychotics & Friens :: It's Your Brain Damage!! Hey Gang,

What are you doing? If you are NOT PSYCHOTIC then why are killing yourself with AP?

Links

No need to post your super melodramatic reason!  If you want to damage your no-good brain in addition to insuring your decades-early demise -- DO IT!

You don't need the AP.  It is definitely killing you.

""Better than killing myself""

""My AP is magic! It's a  mania prophylaxis!""

""MY AP is magic! It stabilizes my mood!""""

These things fuck up your brain. I was Latuda for several years, trust me!

​

AP, Adderall, benzos -- all the good stuff is permanent brain damage",2.3818749999999973,5.3292991517857145,3.1542857142857166,84.91571428571432,88.73214285714286,6.371428571428572,22.17857142857143,7.645422480735847,1.5100428571428577,483,17,85,10,16,152,72,112,0.213,0.667,0.121,-0.9435,0,0,0,0,0,1,39.0,0,10,0,2,0,12,4,0,3,0,11,5,4,1,1,11,15,3,3,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,1,0,16,4,8,14,1,5,0,3,0,1,11,2,1,2,2,53,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30099101579525234,0.16877580541172968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12284365313452696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6202226984699971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284086069659422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330014591361507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4610088950438635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059816432183556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13302552039006316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14280988165716985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15691476939491425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900453829199113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227740360323752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192541208145193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12533349345874656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16877580541172968,0.08944551016794261
bipolarreddit,SlappyAbu,2019/10/05,"Should I give Depakote another go? I'm on wellbutrin for depression. It has me slightly hypomanic. I used to enjoy mania, but I've been through enough bullshit because of it. I'm just done. Fuck that. Not doing it again. Doc is putting me on another mood stabilizer next appointment. We just arent sure which one.

Depakote is the most potent anti-manic I've ever been on. Blows lithium away. Problem is, at therapeutic doses it left me in a depression. Had to d/c

Given that I have an activating anti-depressant on board (last time I didnt), do you think Depakote would be worth another go? Im on the fence.",0.9272693032015092,3.5042615762711904,3.2666666666666693,83.31839924670433,94.25423728813558,6.351035781544256,25.199623352165734,7.594959193182576,2.0043939736346514,478,22,88,11,18,163,84,118,0.192,0.7709999999999999,0.036000000000000004,-0.9692,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,1,0,0,4,7,1,0,4,0,16,2,0,1,2,14,25,1,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,1,0,1,3,3,4,0,1,6,0,9,2,13,16,2,17,0,2,0,1,3,9,1,1,5,58,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5455919915922076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16294993237703942,0.0,0.0,0.10572569031777368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44814354653214494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17748644314359094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792069614429438,0.0,0.0,0.1568838516169512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033987086381368,0.0,0.16637673923090254,0.1971366835149337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18734190782064386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413744436007916,0.0,0.0,0.18843999494136154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18445240011489347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11752551639452125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16595595048423367,0.0,0.1743522616144316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634624821460919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11113153678640662,0.0,0.0,0.10113260978792676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497940306923349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232047908940704,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,blondie050300,2019/10/05,"What is wrong with me and how did I end up here I was diagnosed as bipolar my junior year of high school. My mom is severely bipolar and on tons of medications (she tried to commit suicide last week) but I stopped my meds before I started college. This month has been such a shitty ass ride. I’ve been in a maniac type of headspace. I couldn’t eat I was sleeping maybe 3 hours a night, I was staying out late on school nights. I just failed my physio exam and I need that course to get into a nursing program. To top it all off I was having unprotected sex with a guy who goes to my school and I think I’m either pregnant or having a miscarriage. I was on the depo shot for 3 years and recently stopped it about 5 months ago. Since then I’ve had really short 3 day periods and I just had my last period not even a week and a half ago. I had unprotected sex with this guy mutiple times but I only took a plan B once... today out of no where I start spotting BLACK. Like dark ass black spotting. I never spot like this. I’m bleeding a little bit too but tons of Black blood clots are coming out of me. I’m just in so much pain too cramping and everything.. my periods are never like this (sorry if it’s TMI). I’m so lonely, so scared and sad. Why do I do this to myself why am I so impulsive.",1.178992336077208,3.079127996309964,3.1488007380073815,91.05188688617659,80.8450184501845,6.383252909452173,21.124183934147037,7.468242284971852,0.6358934430882766,1001,29,223,15,26,337,156,271,0.242,0.733,0.025,-0.9964,0,2,0,0,0,2,27.0,0,0,0,3,15,10,1,1,11,0,22,14,4,1,4,37,33,21,1,3,10,1,0,3,0,0,7,0,0,2,11,17,1,2,1,0,0,3,5,7,0,1,12,3,30,3,28,20,6,49,0,3,3,4,5,16,2,2,32,141,41,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037872396828488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781146900357857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12549240206309306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09901670111852932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413133466176322,0.0,0.0,0.11666883100919168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761952354632033,0.0,0.0,0.10180896373626758,0.0,0.0,0.075921439098875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330699217390353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060055086722685815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22763129290072476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214478640216512,0.0,0.0,0.11319968495798785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18739436682591534,0.12966527344582932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16847195989095293,0.11520713671333525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11547975658642888,0.0,0.1276802539844374,0.11579705474588535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13462458979227984,0.18349926924255952,0.0,0.0844993040156451,0.08523177734260512,0.17730849465383616,0.0,0.0,0.21574002992067595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12241485140732462,0.0,0.08742240739761874,0.12231176019734533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736380203830502,0.0,0.11349633957449215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508204467028485,0.34899763866141875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298574424193326,0.0,0.0950853834136292,0.0,0.11503005833237485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286738059697016,0.1627202200913216,0.12251825572700245,0.0,0.19220175313434426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257334105162882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07365342504648763,0.0,0.0,0.06702654629070028,0.0,0.1089563582085634,0.0,0.12771039639108292,0.07804149819967593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18440717192198824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074436583986782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12567654896472888,0.0,0.14804425652334924
bipolarreddit,chancet321,2019/10/05,"Gf is biopolar. This will be long. So my gf is 22. I am 18m. Before i fucked up and did drugs she loved me and never wanted to leave my side. Talked to me all the time. Now that i did the drugs and lied i fucked it all up. Now i am wanting her attention and all of that. She says i have to put a lot of effort in to make it right. 

I have no problem fighting for someone who is worth it but i thought she was but now im 2nd guessing my self. I ask her what she wants from me. She always says she doesnt know.

Ik its all my fault but it seems all this effort im putting in isnt changing any thing. I love her but idk if this is worth it. She confuses me soo much. 1 moment she says she misses me, then the next day she hates me. Ik it could be her biopolar, but when i try and talk yo her about my feelings or try and talk with her she gets mad or turns it on me. 

Tbh idk why or what i want out of this post but if someone could please help it would be appreciated!",-1.0210560675883258,0.7612061935483858,1.1500748847926268,102.92130280337945,88.44700460829495,4.1696620583717365,15.954109062980027,5.148860815047168,-1.1527264208909371,732,15,196,3,24,243,113,217,0.14,0.7509999999999999,0.109,-0.6562,0,0,2,0,2,0,20.0,0,0,0,2,6,11,5,1,4,0,20,6,0,1,6,42,39,20,0,10,11,0,1,0,2,2,2,3,0,1,19,8,0,0,5,0,2,2,4,9,0,0,4,4,41,2,17,28,7,22,0,1,0,4,32,8,2,9,11,133,60,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105601698993563,0.0,0.0,0.08259007302744245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11353922943271387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334489007758668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284778537012166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939356697890061,0.0,0.0,0.07832511575554009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816865716969572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061408701003857626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245568867155428,0.06345254190721572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13379071889360636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990659803899742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08140528458840916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26237339062899484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674566972402189,0.0,0.0,0.1285978712676739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747930889515922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325233230239436,0.21922649011961426,0.0,0.08106872809280093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927962512054624,0.0,0.09366962318678937,0.0,0.12916330945592022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333154812765131,0.0,0.0,0.11631539901538855,0.0,0.0,0.11621111883117025,0.0,0.24418131840211316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371752128763352,0.0,0.2897454223364377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056339593761016,0.12669869663209454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20580815332378488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928504036191815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068589387015387,0.0,0.0,0.09641762688500316,0.07081839307044112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649129725807638,0.13210257812785187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865371086032913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10958961302237216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627449966923922,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,barqsboy123,2019/09/08,"Things are going good Just found this community. I have bipolar 1. It's been about 8 years, but I have been stable and normal for 2 years now, on a good combination of lithium and Seroquel. My manic episodes were rare, but extremely severe. I ended up with bad psychosis and hospitalization every time. There was severe depression early on four a couple years. I think much of it stemmed from not understanding what was happening to me and feeling that I had destroyed my chances at a career and many of my relationships. 

After stabilizing a bit, I socialized more and got a job. The confidence from this, and coming to terms with my condition/events that resulted from it, helped with the depression. I ended up finishing college after 7 years of switching schools and taking semesters off from my symptoms. I am currently in my third year of a PhD program and life is good. It has been 2 years since a manic episode and another 2 since the one before that. I haven't had any depression for a few years now and am mostly happy and confident. While I am fearful another manic episodes will creep up and wildly disrupt my life, it seems to be under control and I don't feel the symptoms at all in my day to day.

I've read a lot of posts from people in bad places from this. I thought I would share my story and say that I once thought my life was ruined and bipolar would run my life. Aside from when I take my meds, I mostly forget it's even there. 

Things have been good, really good, and after having been at the severe lows that bipolar brings, every normal day feels like a blessing.",5.731138613861388,6.6971057689769005,5.973945544554456,79.21616584158417,67.21782178217822,8.832277227722773,30.33151815181518,8.982922981607832,2.464449636963697,1260,46,232,21,20,402,157,303,0.157,0.701,0.142,-0.8488,2,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,1,8,18,1,1,15,0,27,9,0,2,1,45,43,21,0,4,4,0,3,1,0,3,9,1,0,0,17,21,0,1,9,1,0,4,3,9,0,3,15,4,29,9,39,24,9,44,1,5,0,0,5,15,0,4,25,165,46,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059228814328586926,0.1826571890824311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14544438889657785,0.0,0.0,0.07411296638737401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508715358965283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502618574839866,0.0,0.0,0.09768647321458032,0.0,0.09637095853462767,0.0,0.16851070237491544,0.0,0.2250490525239658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15428383571344426,0.0,0.0,0.05752661851761087,0.0,0.14676562995794187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800812039494844,0.13211628528438255,0.06222197515937464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954971515614882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049499121638662776,0.3652633403237263,0.06965927169929495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701941734742318,0.09271616887530026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05837915271791318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08643014007257936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24607619756661545,0.042551099674403216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404658931467531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830249026142382,0.0,0.0,0.09674491619723836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402617343410802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17067275372046034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09275525518724703,0.05901904940201935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06038195833330837,0.0,0.09099762400199976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08341466376411663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712037500287018,0.0,0.05579644376143754,0.0,0.0,0.0935093738983149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926287544033145,0.0,0.08814661691135736,0.0,0.07928966048196677,0.0,0.2951837968456105,0.0,0.14409475487188614,0.0,0.0,0.08878422471578333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18105385910199795,0.13097191661473656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572649476610836,0.055808116066487015,0.0,0.13829026931305194,0.050786847625432285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09067084602439728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374214321140532,0.0,0.0,0.39261240954320653
bipolarreddit,Throwawaymanic11,2019/09/08,"And open letter to my Boyfriend This is my throwaway account because I don't want everyone to see this. 

For as long as I can remember I have believed I have no value. I could see myself in an abusive relationship right now. It's like I have to be dominated or I feel nothing. I am detached from reality most of the time. I feel like an object and I live my life in a dream. I feel powerless. 

I said I was asexual. That was my excuse when I said I didn't like kissing. You asked if I ever get horny. I didn't answer you. 

Do you remember that guy I sent nudes to? I talked to him alot. I told him I wanted to move out of state with him. He wanted to rape me and I was going to let him. I slowly told him everything about me and even what state I live in because I hoped he would find me, kidnap me, and rape me. I hoped that if I sent him nudes he would. He told me what he would do to me. The stuff he said would make your stomach churn. I was going to let him do it. I had it all planned out. 

I know I have alot of issues. Sometimes I can't even look you in the eye because I can't even comprehend why I'm dating someone who cares about me. Someone who doesn't want to abuse me. I've always wanted to be abused. I hate that. 

You know how I told you I have panic attacks? The first one I had at school was because someone was talking about rape in an orientation meeting. I believed what she said but I felt so sick. How could I want something like that? I had to leave and when I got back to my dorm, I had the worst panic attack of my life. I thought I was dying. What they said caused that. I hate myself for that. 

Everytime someone talks about rape I shut down. I understand it's a terrible thing but I feel no sympathy. I hate how screwed up I am. I just want to feel something. I just want to stop living life like I'm drugged. 

I have a severe phobia of sex. Crazy right? Remember the guy who wanted to have sex with me? I was going to let him even though I'm afraid of sex and hate it. I can't talk with people about it. Sometimes I have to just leave. I feel so small in those moments. Like I can't breathe. But sometimes the most comfortable situations I have been in is when I was being objectified. 

I guess this explains why I can't feel love. I'm not even sure I feel romantic feelings. I feel so asexual sometimes. I want to feel something but no matter what I do I feel nothing. Sometimes, platonic relationships seem better. The pressure and expectation of marriage and sex go away. 

Sometimes I try to pinpoint why I'm like this. I wasn't abused in any way. I just became this way and it's sick. I can't judge people because everytime I look in the mirror I see someone who discredits pain and begs for objectification. 

I don't know how you feel right now. Now you know my deepest secrets. There is nothing else I have to hide. I won't blame you if you leave me. I hate myself too. I hate who I am and what my mind does. I wish I could blame someone or something for my problems but it can't. I care so much about you. And I know you cared for me too. But I completely understand if you no longer want to talk to me. 

 I want to justify my desires but I can't. Because in addition to my sex issues, I have Depression and anxiety and possibly BPD. Sometimes I can handle my problems, but other times, I feel completely consumed by them. They control me and cause me to reject relationships and vunerablility. Doing life is so hard.

I become panicked by crowds of people and loud noises. But you know that. I don't know the reason, but my sensory issues cause me to zone out. Maybe it's a coping mechanism because I spend much of my life in a dazed state. I feel like I'm missing out. 

I realize this is alot to take in and I tried to include as much as possible.  I don't want to scare you but my racing thoughts include what you just read. It's scary and it causes me to do dangerous things. It terrifies me to even write this.",0.4660896062831483,2.745053013463892,2.4610086444308443,92.57636404783764,86.796817625459,5.509429824561403,21.362313851489187,6.952445516363907,0.5476111893104858,3060,105,671,43,96,1020,273,817,0.228,0.6940000000000001,0.078,-0.9991,1,0,5,0,3,0,90.0,0,17,3,4,38,46,14,5,21,0,71,26,5,11,3,139,159,54,1,31,23,0,17,8,0,5,9,6,1,2,44,29,0,2,37,2,2,7,22,28,0,2,32,29,162,18,83,113,10,53,0,3,6,14,71,26,1,15,23,464,206,3,0.0,0.18957313521317007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03328308119059853,0.0,0.0,0.027201271017673227,0.0,0.03059977730042998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037394462042803084,0.09101121244664503,0.037581177674553386,0.030757417149351363,0.0,0.17068476962497015,0.04417669391222039,0.0,0.09013227124161123,0.0,0.03537661854610088,0.0,0.0,0.050378413340766766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223475449125191,0.16436346590734446,0.0,0.0,0.08387816759920315,0.0,0.044863235281547315,0.0958098810284118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0344518139206914,0.0,0.041513531220373316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03500414004498194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04638712921480418,0.0,0.033414743682382037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15851715001553693,0.03618215617446723,0.0,0.03822157274804396,0.03594928777793945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3033769055321273,0.057151804531335476,0.038406130740517054,0.0,0.03655914007536329,0.03402385368264715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020898271740296726,0.0,0.09093135076858544,0.0,0.031991535705480384,0.0,0.04406434660815818,0.07921228450807359,0.0,0.0,0.035832010626038184,0.2369494359678477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945775692905864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12524835962038505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538801080332225,0.0,0.0,0.12706220325603362,0.0,0.12270767624806896,0.14126539204114485,0.15633525775778712,0.0,0.10596180645853946,0.03539861030366225,0.06717960293031842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0361014281341988,0.0,0.026700211818163882,0.0,0.04018522768588188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04038844785034846,0.0,0.0,0.042513512410384494,0.0882134809998284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514281040613275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02710493492379311,0.0,0.042562662733988905,0.09386241575970232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319258279037169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09018764609785948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07654891254408615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04001067653435388,0.0,0.0,0.041126509828447406,0.0,0.12883461458420625,0.1359361044540926,0.10247896517377288,0.1902450956597904,0.0,0.040046829888934016,0.04048198572058185,0.09562410975223376,0.036414362977181834,0.0,0.04518844726193711,0.0,0.0,0.04496150958321225,0.0,0.0,0.2033504688032049,0.1231753611617095,0.2769261349947679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033441667352098345,0.0,0.0,0.045790260666496434,0.0,0.0,0.03769938713715841,0.0,0.03007491066575386,0.16075182937610213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05314824859728638,0.0,0.039299651505873986,0.0635108289323929,0.04664847075035535,0.0,0.0,0.15288629099217582,0.0,0.054314547706101966,0.0,0.0,0.08328251321826492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067083379588924,0.06350004136553032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828093457017447,0.0,0.0459978557543837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365898885389605,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MyBipolarLife2019,2019/09/08,"5 years Living with Bipolar 2-Ask me anything/let’s help each other After being diagnosed with Bipolar 2 in my senior year of high school my life was turned upside down. It has taken me many years to learn how to manage my symptoms. I know I am not a pro but I am now at a point in my life where I am stable enough to offer help and guidance. Yes there are many threads covering this topic. But this is my thread! 

I am 22 year old college student and I know many of my peers are struggling with depression and sometimes need someone to talk to. Let this be a place to share our experiences and help one another guide each other through this hectic world.",3.2828601398601407,5.169831300000006,3.9052447552447553,88.11339160839161,74.46153846153847,6.265734265734268,24.89510489510489,6.980632752743323,0.9756153846153848,519,17,102,5,11,164,85,130,0.064,0.8009999999999999,0.135,0.8244,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,3,1,12,6,0,1,0,17,17,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,7,9,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,15,1,17,12,3,17,0,1,0,0,7,9,0,0,8,69,22,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549432401832825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381392171589734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12726875437500446,0.14997715832820033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267951709667393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14454136135675902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971289044808209,0.1561205797078906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624142529501997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3021970172464318,0.20873989999783868,0.0,0.0,0.13047815276478367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44942793741942294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095649939622582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15505326368222191,0.0,0.10012858286962084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15438173315463602,0.0,0.13968456340763502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495448660307223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12519979802192524,0.0,0.14614218794235234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15447481880418587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15358317796235785,0.0,0.11876695453711655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16072459552914364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3806202000675533
bipolarreddit,ayaywhodaaat,2019/09/08,"Year off I failed many classes in college because of my ongoing and then-undiagnosed Bipolar disorder (I am suicidal)  and Now i took a year off and feel really shitty about it don’t know what to do. I am away from home and live alone fam doesn’t know anything, they just think im depressed and it will go away but  it its been 2 and half years:) i am very worried and feel incredibly guilty and cant talk to anybody abt it. What do u think guys what should i do",2.3306250000000013,3.905527479166668,3.7170833333333313,89.78625000000002,76.29166666666666,7.300000000000002,25.541666666666664,8.07648339933343,1.3380666666666667,362,13,81,6,8,119,65,96,0.187,0.813,0.0,-0.9379,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,12,1,0,0,0,17,20,9,1,1,2,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,8,8,0,0,6,0,0,2,3,2,0,1,2,2,8,0,10,16,0,11,0,2,0,0,3,5,0,0,4,51,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039171265643844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16202247463222882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3699664883708003,0.0,0.0,0.12002141334719872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695797923713406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256512996770677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991055014551775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189628228922588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949505879583176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19749523723694887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21267338608253386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21640956123674088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17385616888848648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996140547555952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126131826488576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21536408280073396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582515330639258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523164251273455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21875038838082486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16245364749168578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19994984760418924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3803692517662677
bipolarreddit,trippinship,2019/09/08,Went to the ER during a hypomania outburst Got put into a psych ward because I was very close to hanging my self... in my 5 day stay in the acute unit I got put on on lithium 1200 mg every day. I have 116 300 mg pills and I heard lithium is fairly easy to overdose on. Honestly I’ve been looking into it a lot and am pretty concerned.,1.668215962441316,3.1478964084507046,3.9827464788732416,87.58473004694841,77.87323943661973,5.860093896713615,25.91784037558686,6.42735559955562,0.9422657276995308,259,10,55,2,6,90,51,71,0.0,0.866,0.134,0.8442,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,5,1,0,0,0,6,10,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,6,2,6,1,10,4,1,15,0,0,1,0,2,8,0,1,2,30,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544697068121804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32684284368979305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21349962572993672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4053327319395236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21279137892162586,0.0,0.0,0.21543080774145576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577979289433696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5094720621387936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643504698305865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.270089667806706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090807514990466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349034548485925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hilow83,2019/09/08,"Dam next friend gone boundaries So I am not used to being healthy shit my neighbor is terminally ill. I’ve been friends with him for a few months but I believe because the placement of his tumor cavity in his brain their are now the beginnings of personality changes. He’s at the 5 % percentage so cannot have someone attacking medication that has taken a combined total of really over two decades and so many doctors for this kind is stability. Going to actually go into school and looks like social work will wrap it up the quickest. Still ways off though. Other neighbor that I swore I would never turn sexual with now actually got graphic just humor but it’s absolutely clear I’m kinda being flirted with and I will eventually maybe have extra earnings from this side job to do some stuff. I don’t know. Freaking she’s making me horny as shit and she absolutely knows it at this point. Men even us dense ones eventually get some of the more obvious hints. Lol she looks at me and asks point blank about bipolar hypo sexuality?  Lol I almost shit myself but looked at her, what you want to know? Well that must be great for everyone lol 😂 ok now I’m finally seeing things. Dinner. Date. Personal underwear drying the first time in her place. I get what’s happening. Life is weird. I guess if everything was great it wouldn’t be?  Vent over. Pissed less I lost another friend. Hope you all are okay.",2.557828947368421,5.3970913383458665,3.79924342105263,82.62939144736845,82.98496240601503,7.084398496240603,23.726033834586467,8.17850203761792,1.800188345864662,1120,41,206,25,32,364,179,266,0.10099999999999999,0.685,0.214,0.9875,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,1,2,1,4,12,21,5,0,8,5,23,11,5,2,6,35,49,14,0,6,6,0,0,1,5,5,5,0,2,3,15,9,1,0,3,0,0,3,5,8,1,3,6,4,26,13,28,34,8,31,0,1,4,0,23,15,4,7,13,133,41,5,0.0,0.0,0.2120568273243196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087990112254942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393081068595175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157469909515067,0.12360702646251845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06623308512878037,0.0,0.0,0.12241329103290526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129126211434148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149391218814434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112096479266101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07176344185144691,0.0,0.0,0.103821382598902,0.09764916753046196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11902265754481832,0.0,0.09241910462347327,0.0,0.0,0.2518321673857334,0.0,0.1135320872486182,0.0,0.12349856219434885,0.0,0.0868987126798724,0.23957782814407516,0.11969212827356357,0.0,0.09608036454553756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791568202808358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782007514333827,0.0,0.0,0.11314405529041535,0.1791364452267918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674392894174223,0.05308174625741891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737202615123097,0.0,0.11860619635151386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252587236319784,0.11015579897632442,0.10915526490503832,0.0,0.0,0.1094551855636295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672477296512779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837989110644157,0.0,0.11555234571936207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362522305379175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18974099659249746,0.11351793077648376,0.0,0.20542200525198726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960507936279348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996134972166743,0.08658136030237991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3345883133292327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075675421051194,0.09206025683651853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08676941060557722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12438023425404628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721833804230729,0.0,0.1067497714416701,0.0,0.0633556965506369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818188030756532,0.10613695087713663,0.0,0.13069465126171412,0.09384020815384236,0.0,0.0,0.06408560444569096,0.08624268463670448,0.0,0.0,0.09769095232802526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909975226926802,0.0,0.0,0.07718307044422032,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AmberOsia1432,2019/09/08,"I know when I’m manic I’m a lot to take, but it stems from fear. I am desperately afraid of never truly connecting with another soul. That I’ll die still feeling apart from the rest of the world, and it terrifies me. I’m just constantly searching for any human who sparks my existence, who makes living an adventure for which, on my last day, I am proud to have lived. So in my manic phase I do everything possible to connect with others, but it never works,  I’m never really seen or heard, and it makes hitting the depressive stage even more depressing.",5.429563492063494,6.182007379629631,6.378994708994714,76.80833333333334,67.7962962962963,10.615873015873015,29.317460317460323,10.608840637214634,3.142990476190477,439,15,83,12,7,146,76,108,0.226,0.703,0.071,-0.97,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,5,6,0,2,5,0,4,0,0,2,3,16,16,7,1,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,9,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,3,8,2,13,13,3,13,1,2,1,0,4,4,0,2,8,55,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135159516717223,0.20841086961783192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147824353967443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817986961728173,0.0,0.3423730101822763,0.0,0.20627524402537875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13127512420020854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17862725455872075,0.0,0.0,0.22365347571293645,0.10049598027545016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092299853018491,0.16201101475074653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3510067977366445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689735197265256,0.0,0.0,0.2653396396988812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4598739486573944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22406524041708786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12732688403143885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15872517900695393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14943825192050372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14469525897111812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ratsinhats,2019/09/08,"Lamictal Hell Hi all, 

I'm only on 50mgs Lamictal and I feel like SHIT. I'm vomiting all the time, constantly nauseous, no appetite, throbbing headache, complete exhaustion, uncontrollable diarrhoea, dry eyes, dry mouth, the works. I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced anything like this from lamictal? I have a history of getting severe side effects from most psychiatric drugs, but this one takes the biscuit.

Mood wise, I feel great. It's pulled me out of a two year mixed episode. But I can't handle the effect on my physical health. Please tell me I'm not alone in experiencing all these side effects. And if anyone has had this experience, did the side effects go away with time?

Thanks in advance.",5.445010737294201,7.980102606299216,5.544223335719402,75.87699355762348,70.18110236220473,9.342591267000717,33.59269863994273,9.800150414767053,3.754297637795277,569,28,95,15,11,179,88,127,0.09,0.745,0.165,0.9217,0,1,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,6,0,10,2,1,7,0,6,8,3,4,3,20,17,6,0,2,5,0,2,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,7,0,0,3,3,4,0,2,2,5,7,5,11,15,4,16,1,0,1,0,2,9,2,4,6,50,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19743444093477205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665848466652268,0.1953222225489376,0.15687165289563015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17910248154910866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19987117081460448,0.2060025269226476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210694413638892,0.0,0.15924630051958968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864720124997005,0.0,0.0,0.19277578116730015,0.13618559409199538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959592967490027,0.0,0.10833901158114546,0.0,0.0,0.2101694516656837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20263000798840886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18626367207352265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12917533210688922,0.14498215578955578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092537020377613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21535682335585932,0.1956782141622395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14332949273836942,0.0,0.1666183910519521,0.17550582707248152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22231492967600147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18621710481406312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20672931998571253,0.1387803845631832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12275900482467053
bipolarreddit,floralpod,2019/09/08,"who is your favorite author and or poet? And why? At the moment, I keep thinking about The Second Coming by Yeats. 

This poem really encapsulates my experience with mania.  spiritus mundi, the universal memory that provides inspiration to the writer, strikes me as really similar to the collective experiences that can occur during mania (religious delusions, grandiosity, etc). 

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?",9.723525073746307,9.763962517699113,8.880663716814158,64.93686578171092,58.778761061946895,11.958112094395279,36.97492625368732,11.374738998889045,4.5102165191740395,1043,41,156,25,12,328,148,226,0.067,0.8490000000000001,0.084,0.6164,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,0,1,5,7,0,0,26,0,14,7,6,0,4,29,24,14,1,1,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,11,15,0,2,3,1,0,6,2,2,0,3,1,8,6,5,29,22,8,32,0,0,2,1,4,15,0,2,10,111,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16835635795103132,0.0,0.0,0.17819624039435086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5527684453924621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17891651298755865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138532724773045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437094753076712,0.0,0.16464254569419964,0.0,0.18081086833950152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579865143109526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14259329562791356,0.0,0.0,0.08816549862769306,0.13076795587956835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050660722741698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055449918503691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16054106478884747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3023977192597091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10657937952674404,0.10279399535852232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3489931172704707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14475879733447314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Juicebox-shakur,2019/09/08,"I think my partner may have bipolar disorder not sure what to do. As the title said, I think my partner has bipolar disorder or something similar. I've been reading so many of your guys posts on this sub and another bipolar sub and oh my God it's like I've been staring at his face the entire time.

His mood swings are out of control. Every single thing sets him off. He doesn't sleep, he obsesses over things. Right now it's Hinduism. Last time it was pyramids. He's hot and cold with me almost all the time now. It's been two months since his last meltdown where he stabbed the walls with his knife and cut up some of his paintings and I had to get in front of mine so he wouldn't destroy those too. I never felt threatened but I'm concerned that he is capable of harming me or could become capable of harming me if he does not get help. He packed half his stuff and was throwing things in the yard screaming at me and our old roommate for about 5 hours. We didn't sleep that night because when he finally calmed down enough it was like he just realized what he was doing and just layed down in driveway next to his car and sobbed. I couldn't go near him because he would literally run from me. I had to just stay on my side of the car and talk very calmly to him for about an hour before he was ok with me coming over to him. 

The smallest things absolutely send him into a rage. For example, the internet page wouldn't load his ufo website so he threw books across the room and told me it was being done on purpose to restrict his access to information because ""they"" want him to fail and be blind or ignorant. I suggested maybe the connection was messed up and he wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the day and into the next day. This happens very often over very very minor things. I have to be so careful in how I speak because it will make him angry if I say something he doesn't like or say it in a way he takes offense to. 

His display of nearly every emotion is extreme. As far as I know he's not suicidal but when he's low he barely functions. He just reads and sleeps. 

He honestly seems more like he is in a consistent state of hypomania like 80% of the time. Always on the move, only sleeps for a few hours at a time. He's paranoid about me, about everyone. He's generally convinced himself that I do not love him and that nobody does and that he doesn't even really exist. Sometimes his mood is extremely positive but then one wrong word or something doesn't work right and he's enraged and either yells at me or shuts down and won't speak and if I press him he gets enraged again. 

Honestly when he is in a decent mood and feeling good he's an incredible person to be around. That's the man I fell in love with. But I'm not seeing that person anymore . We've been friends for years and only together for one and I really want to be supportive and help him, but I'm not sure what to do. He had agreed he would go seek therapy but that hasn't happened yet. In going to suggest tonight that I go with him, as I think I have an undiagnosed mental illness too. Would that be a helpful approach? I don't know how much more I can take. I love him so much but he's not being reasonable at all and is being really emotionally abusive. It's harming me and destroying our relationship. I want to see him be able to get healthy before something really bad happens. 

Also, what are some less known ways bipolar presents in men? I really don't know a lot about this stuff I've just been reading as much as I can today. Any suggestions are welcome.",3.553730891556377,4.829762391966759,4.497020621729764,86.63526520980814,72.58725761772855,7.61961629219247,27.22078588283573,8.10692912299908,1.6107613829896381,2805,100,584,41,54,910,303,722,0.147,0.737,0.11599999999999999,-0.9865,0,0,4,0,0,0,53.0,3,1,1,3,31,43,7,1,27,1,63,14,5,5,5,110,103,61,1,14,29,0,4,5,3,9,6,8,3,7,34,38,0,3,13,5,0,15,21,19,0,4,21,17,70,21,88,62,17,96,0,3,4,3,92,44,1,16,36,379,104,6,0.06365161325671856,0.07541675332038685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373789622011829,0.0,0.0,0.05090217212470337,0.05296324125401487,0.0,0.0,0.04328527972139234,0.06674426638606755,0.0,0.0,0.06312529665196694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056663430724151025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05314643833969808,0.15520573059352408,0.07029820598877139,0.10832566943725844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489706187287082,0.0,0.0,0.054830228721650234,0.0,0.0,0.07139069667394253,0.05082063380658,0.0,0.0,0.08210004956800254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14590052661871505,0.0,0.11140391140321357,0.0651376997297223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14319899528176824,0.0,0.06576913164293086,0.0,0.04204129024340074,0.0,0.10725845888070876,0.06082184419675502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0321841681795839,0.0,0.06111553063235675,0.06972723105645899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04917707850748721,0.0,0.13302136321272387,0.0,0.14469871466318515,0.053387953269399255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06302510441653195,0.16886073417070585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799300394266605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18805205225031668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494378603719058,0.10376912054375637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548481535029002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054114325387631806,0.1723441982672698,0.0,0.04248794611173684,0.06453274532656753,0.06394660087468318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414585514355997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05080611042970007,0.06765159155345189,0.1403737787765301,0.0,0.049092048141068836,0.0,0.13538842562065714,0.05973272716289633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06679166075908602,0.0,0.08626396091890262,0.0968198402665572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115626707718257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06096065056890732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19100651486172346,0.0,0.20388426672480894,0.06544445958912444,0.0,0.06833801168643774,0.0,0.10871625986946304,0.06054726027990931,0.1012366353008583,0.0,0.0,0.10144418952691073,0.0579460381215104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05265327224357978,0.0,0.2547903267623044,0.0,0.0,0.1960084864859447,0.06295307307843129,0.0,0.0,0.06784415061503266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14573173732778827,0.06962453382797186,0.07223109641798084,0.11998178441711267,0.0,0.09571618325608644,0.051160755655493,0.0,0.0,0.07279116705215875,0.0,0.21143651759332616,0.12235615090622665,0.0,0.0,0.1855788378135354,0.0,0.060334286779582774,0.06082184419675502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06217837721067029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21007698829200966,0.11263011196573808,0.1010473757289184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046339132537946186,0.0,0.0,0.13564883941071265,0.06959304689857261,0.0,0.040989552037211226
bipolarreddit,AllVicesNoVirtues,2019/02/14,"Microdosing antidepressants? So me and my psych have been working on addressing my negative symptoms and she suggested microdosing an SSRI. I've had bad experiences with SSRIs (and every other antidepressant out there) in the past, they always make me manic. Does anyone have experience with this? I'm also on lithium, trilafon, seroquel, ativan, and adderall.",7.196954022988503,10.841828120689659,8.117931034482758,54.078505747126464,69.51724137931035,10.763218390804601,35.5287356321839,10.504223727775694,5.51488735632184,293,15,34,10,6,98,48,58,0.12300000000000001,0.877,0.0,-0.8205,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,1,0,8,6,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,6,0,6,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,28,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434733946156788,0.2533318245510786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128827503640079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542080861028592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664315426103518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565173547108678,0.0,0.0,0.5956328783638387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032267787066048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906377513493032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31644641194500256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22164763175369825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,coolkatzen,2019/02/14,"[Help] Depakote side effects (x-post from r/bipolar) Please help.

Just started depakote on Friday. 250mg/2 day.

I feel lethargic. I sleep as much as I can and can’t get enough. I feel sick. Drinking water makes me want to vomit. I get mild visual/audio hallucinations, but I have a feeling that’ll pass. My muscles are pretty shaky and I feel week.

How long will this last?",1.035300896286813,3.6315440281690137,1.8850192061459656,93.04419974391807,94.6338028169014,3.1451984635083226,21.94750320102433,4.851557810540192,-0.0469267605633803,290,11,55,1,11,90,58,71,0.091,0.7490000000000001,0.16,0.5574,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,1,0,6,5,1,3,0,13,15,6,0,1,2,0,4,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,5,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,4,9,0,5,13,2,8,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,5,29,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413267131071515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341251281430736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469467924380365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4833743064989259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497311288026407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3203880096795901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19481366738670425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115039707358319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15953170959497248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17568958539937665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623458779219126,0.0,0.0,0.22889213749480455,0.24314488882690125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391686356746705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16916262410070548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14096605396829534,0.0,0.1917082037364893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LateOption,2019/02/14,"Scary false memories and deja vu as well as horrible akathsia. Extreme trigger warning! So I have these false memories that I was a child rapist/molester, serial killer, and robber. If these were true I would be in prison by now. Except I'm hallucinating thinking its real. I went to the hospital because it was so intense. I was taking 200mg of Seroquel. Also I have dejavu that I have been in this exact moment in my life. I was telling my psychiatrist and different nurses about this stuff. I'm on 3 antipsychotics right now and I have horrible akathsia. I can vision my own death and I'm really scared for my life.

I've never had these memories before! I was very suicidal as well. I'm afraid for my life.",2.206943430656935,4.906930547445256,4.028207116788323,81.43311359489053,82.94160583941607,7.220620437956206,24.62089416058394,8.278499904357787,2.0648251824817514,563,22,101,13,16,189,85,137,0.243,0.685,0.07200000000000001,-0.9827,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,2,2,0,15,3,0,1,3,14,22,12,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,10,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,2,0,9,0,16,3,14,11,1,10,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,4,72,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17503224786133373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13342263587589193,0.0,0.18624436474180836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22867516308392735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.463788328762149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688079541516847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24912480618759675,0.14021531898865305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18691590702073516,0.0,0.0,0.21912954095415374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25055663151986624,0.23941097508279274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16456487034557754,0.0,0.19130419983209085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402446512518855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805927230109525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3935853006239464,0.202896987176656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548073419258152,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,doyoulikemyladysuit,2019/02/14,"Is it my bipolar, or does it sound like something different I should explore with my pdoc? I've been having a lot of trouble lately. I'm on a solid cocktail of meds, and I take them regularly. But in the last month I've been having stuff go on that I can't tell if it's a result of bipolar or just stress generally, and it would be really really helpful to know if what I'm experiencing is within the norms of breakthrough symptoms, or if I should consider looking for answers outside of my bipolar. The following things I've been experiencing for about six weeks, increasing over the first couple of weeks and then the level at which I'm experiencing them has kind of evened out....

⦁	Difficulty concentrating. Sometime it feels like there is a fuzzy border closing in around my vision if I'm trying to focus on something. My brain gets fuzzy and my thoughts feel like they are just entitities taking space in my brain, growing and pushing the limits of what my mind can contain (like my thoughts are swelling my brain....fucking weird. I know.)

⦁	Often feeling like I want to break into tears for seemingly no reason. Much of the time it is because of aforementioned feeling of fuzziness and there not being room in my mind to think straight.
 
⦁	Feelings of being completely out of control of my own life, that it is driven by external factors only. 

⦁	Becoming more and more preoccupied with my self-image, again and while all of my measurements are stagnant, am experiencing the physical feeling of being larger, fattier, and I look significantly different in the mirror. 

⦁	Headaches along my orbital sockets frequently (every 2-3 days), which almost always provokes fuzz brain. 

⦁	Significantly diminished desire to do anything at all, including hobbies, taking dog for walks, exercising, chores, errands, sex drive diminished - all coupled with physical feeling of absolute physical exhaustion. 

⦁	Sporadically becoming really tired, sometimes to point of barely being able to keep my eyes opened. Eyes water and vision becomes blurry when this happens. 

⦁	Significantly more jaw clenching. 

⦁	Having more defensive responses which tend to come out snappy, when it's totally unwarranted. (This I can almost definitely attribute to my bipolar, I always get snappy when I have mood shifts.)



Thanks in advance, I appreciate anyone/everyone's input. ",6.212512849800112,8.702087184466022,6.835882352941179,67.63558823529415,67.93203883495146,9.410165619645918,34.69046259280411,9.845776108104099,4.07177447173044,1888,93,279,47,34,618,225,412,0.055999999999999994,0.841,0.10300000000000001,0.9209999999999999,2,0,2,0,0,0,60.0,0,0,3,5,13,13,1,1,13,0,29,17,6,5,4,74,62,23,0,9,11,0,8,5,0,3,9,1,2,0,19,22,2,5,16,2,0,11,3,5,0,2,6,17,31,7,55,48,12,52,0,0,4,1,5,25,0,13,20,192,50,0,0.08679187088877173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17381904327065995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444355786625448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07142231459479331,0.0772631660361928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052907518920774485,0.287564407516995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3875537268277213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476351169322464,0.0909996253424318,0.0,0.09734446326433477,0.0,0.19206710866131654,0.0,0.05597357661092519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18135806474139932,0.0,0.0,0.07595215109486088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05732521216840442,0.0,0.07312589452648716,0.08293335201813694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071920440770736,0.18601238971432296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382512104034145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023768609109419,0.0906903406740325,0.0,0.0493258203455385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674976479238549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05817476156262424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07714460269152211,0.0,0.09038037763772568,0.0953970848739102,0.07074695873104564,0.09790501075033607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0613036651492995,0.21201062044758895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14576662491063738,0.0,0.0,0.07378734492295963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640620273071322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17527009603290244,0.0,0.06927644330066951,0.0,0.06380201150390392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06600912880239969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820463716017533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668032847726484,0.0892364984393414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790120595824353,0.09054284994068837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13363324495468326,0.17167875914277486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941979486396596,0.0,0.0993559273944619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902099858672649,0.19577005658025665,0.0,0.0758599206633483,0.07990629385877622,0.0,0.0,0.05766066246308218,0.055612726363377656,0.0,0.1378061014792588,0.050609037876979734,0.09975448798665908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05892598316544381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051192094150032834,0.0,0.13923840724404882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061654454898955324,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,green_lemons,2019/02/14,"I feel like things are catching up to me and I am tired I spent the last two years telling myself to not be sad or angry, and telling myself that depressive issues were simply unacceptable and disregarding the patterns because I managed symptoms so well for four years. Got into my dream school after five years, no self-confidence, not solod on resources, too much pressure, depressive cycling, poor performance, got kicked out. Took time off, made a bunch of promises. Three months back in the school (everyone was so happy) and I was kicked out again. 

The depressive episodes and ensuing nastiness fed (feed) off of my extreme guilt and fear from a lack of support structure and having ruined my opportunities already at this age and crashed my big dream.

I was ""discouraged"" from working so I could not always comfortably cover psych and meds. All I wanted was to be free. Any money I receive came with strings attached with the subtext that I would do what 'normal people' do- get a degree to be a valid person with a future (*like your sibling* narrative). 

So I lied about school, lied about my health, trying the same things over because I wanted the help I recieved to be valid and prove myself as ""not problematic"". Then I hid the drop out. I am terrified of the person of influence who I lied to the most. 

I wrote a letter clearly explaining that I am not ""better"" than ""other people"" with mental illnesses and need to reevaluate my choices because continuing to try when I just keep cycling is stupid. 

I did not receive a good response. To me admitting my fear of failure, shame, and poor mental health- a sentence, and $50. No contact for a month. So I know what to expect. 

 I hurt them by lying, since they put in alot of time and money to help me get this far. But they were really calculated and nasty in the past and I don't know if the rug will get pulled from under me by coming clean.

Now I sitting in this place I won't have the money for soon, on a phone that will get shut off, havent seen my psych in two months, trying to imagine a future different from the only one I ever imagined, or not being homeless. I want to freak out, scream, and walk off but I need to get a job, move, and think about a new future. 

All the food I ate didn't make me feel better and frankly I'm more likely to get employed if I look decent so I should cool it there

He even sent me a Valentines Day card before I sent that fucking awful letter. I feel like a piece of shit. I ruined myself",4.230111486486488,5.854403279166673,4.760292792792793,84.03993243243244,71.41666666666666,7.2725225225225225,26.93130630630631,7.824948511530503,1.5916644144144143,1954,67,370,25,37,622,254,480,0.165,0.76,0.075,-0.9867,3,0,0,0,0,0,64.0,0,1,3,5,20,33,3,5,31,2,30,11,1,3,5,81,68,34,0,13,14,0,3,4,0,5,5,1,2,2,15,30,4,3,12,2,7,12,13,18,1,6,20,7,56,16,62,37,10,63,0,8,2,1,23,24,2,6,29,261,71,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544816721081403,0.0,0.07196985198813886,0.0,0.0,0.058818816617981176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650846858498001,0.0,0.15817763217541184,0.0,0.07359993659115945,0.0,0.0,0.1529936477950191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989259770340192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450683440326326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905833945209516,0.0,0.0,0.05578140872543461,0.0,0.2234912027281396,0.0,0.0,0.09036771408510692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05712840386215176,0.07823868257797266,0.0,0.0826486261196161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946593638900901,0.13120174098505175,0.12358251597622864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458876474655146,0.0,0.0,0.07996221492404762,0.2711369506946805,0.0,0.0,0.07254697793740242,0.13835414314027206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920743627306741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838779377984352,0.0,0.0,0.11595007318492695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925935066803112,0.0,0.0,0.09027715765472773,0.08583184750233643,0.07687975066537256,0.0,0.0,0.09506956862084648,0.07050407102782211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16902619827958815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07263309024530265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184261758894132,0.0577353485274076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960752219849997,0.0,0.17433101113254276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20711581246595467,0.09192932523733853,0.06358296711933699,0.1282682587609036,0.0,0.08353634563167657,0.0,0.0,0.08474565561178543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05861050374039741,0.0657825069662929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256821259564008,0.1199279565023222,0.1510462709548093,0.09036771408510692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695025722921026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05541020583887472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626093272866093,0.0,0.0,0.09023199919516006,0.0,0.08878474330981467,0.07154864619948763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098152250411015,0.0,0.08990027790711888,0.0,0.0,0.15119895838763808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492540498492,0.05542179734510352,0.0,0.0,0.1008705749371675,0.0994120119437605,0.0,0.0,0.09609790316176164,0.1761710373278952,0.0,0.16898394051271864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15304902599719966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776840176961379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06296858785548604,0.0,0.0,0.061442783482791176,0.0,0.0,0.1670977034258406
bipolarreddit,kned89,2019/02/14,"Is this normal rage? Sometimes, at work especially, when something doesn’t work right or takes too long or interrupts my thoughts, I feel a rage pent up and its like I cannot stop myself from hitting something or myself, or breaking the object Im holding. For example, I have broken equipment at work just by smashing it against the wall, and have bruised myself up in the process via punching myself, hitting things. Luckily Ive never been caught, but Its only a matter of time. Some co-workers have even seen me hit the wall, and throw objects work before. (Im usually quite jolly so they probably think Im nuts). 

I don’t always feel particularly unstable, Im usually on edge anyways, but it feels like Im normal and yet I know this cannot be totally normal. Anyone else deal with this or have any advice on how to calm down before getting physical? 

29yrs bipolar 1",5.0927510040160655,6.536121789156628,5.727891566265062,78.63513052208839,69.06024096385542,8.183935742971888,31.90562248995984,8.59863814320734,2.6608851405622493,691,30,122,11,12,224,111,166,0.073,0.8190000000000001,0.109,0.7144,0,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,5,8,5,2,0,6,0,12,1,0,1,2,29,25,14,0,3,8,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,5,0,2,6,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,4,4,13,3,15,17,2,22,0,0,1,0,2,11,0,6,10,75,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897496631106822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279264809158544,0.0,0.0,0.07583666772713847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797659916712626,0.1142642790590198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897887192207097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497107635819866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09315972081532052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07365717351326881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16916190104483889,0.07966911559818722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05826401600905405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.602297676833461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128786416503211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10896499090897993,0.0,0.0,0.09869070624887756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601024105381867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3277944964971348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481513926847438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12023622253176552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11861406411497767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523652069854877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170537601940855,0.1102950313866585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323478353547587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384832479336272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408819364604335,0.07145680025151245,0.0,0.08853353998957746,0.06502756018230442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24564459888710946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4059353918541591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Elizalib321,2019/02/14,"Experiencing a mixed episode for the first time This episode has been going on for two and a half weeks now. I can’t eat or sleep. I’m so exhausted, there’s so many emotions I am going through in one day and it’s getting so hard.

My therapist has put me on Prozac to help me get used to the Lamictal which I was put on mid-December.

I don’t know how to reach out to my friends or family either. I’ve tried to talk to my boyfriend about it but i just feel as if he doesn’t know what to say or how to deal with it, which is okay because bipolar is so hard to understand (I don’t even understand it tbh..) I just feel unsupported by everyone in my life right now. Anyone I’ve supported and been there for has pretty much dropped me and don’t really talk to me when things get bad.

I’m just so exhausted and I just want one day where I’m not going through a million emotions. I’m so tired. I just want to turn off for a while. I’m so tired.",1.8743903940886681,3.0404501921182288,3.5413762315270962,92.27048799261084,76.63546798029556,7.636576354679804,24.51016009852217,8.278499904357787,1.1516209359605911,731,24,178,13,16,244,106,203,0.139,0.7759999999999999,0.085,-0.9459,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,22,6,0,0,6,1,14,9,1,3,0,30,36,22,0,3,12,0,4,0,1,0,7,1,0,0,9,7,1,0,6,0,0,5,6,3,0,6,3,6,17,3,28,33,2,24,0,0,0,0,7,9,0,4,9,115,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184502225002653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967420932100642,0.08007152650631691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16942354563881135,0.1354191023847573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13440683893314428,0.0,0.2955087316050553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675737096075198,0.0,0.0,0.12551335291911578,0.0,0.0,0.12382785159999145,0.0,0.1328319755009273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11172873453139093,0.0,0.0,0.10148294731534324,0.0,0.2058794524466827,0.0,0.22395269019274186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353328485540982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804309968561544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14437626949668433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277845850770157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13317125361754528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655951667174484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17801628862139454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13363315129329242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640919476682635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414804997133371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217468389235576,0.0,0.10445712147230783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13144779077991242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14905774752762915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111530179658424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15251087490315435,0.08726504959905784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659294936687344,0.3019417387879628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918001673841389,0.14287426809749518,0.12831272556508794,0.2734860635500657,0.0,0.11344675700881167,0.0,0.0,0.15495072183544462,0.0,0.10536339677007102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,GailTheSnail_aSALTed,2019/03/20,"Having a hard time getting out of bed in the morning - does your doctor prescribe anything for this? So I've been in a depressive episode for months now, and can't motivate myself to get out of bed. Is there anything your doctor has prescribed to help you with this? I'm at my wit's end and have tried everything, but can't manage to not crawl back under the sheets after I wake up. Any advice would be appreciated, thanks!",5.936987951807227,6.219600048192773,6.096048192771086,80.92334939759041,66.59036144578313,8.567710843373495,29.853012048192767,8.238735603445708,1.9911224096385545,336,11,65,4,5,107,65,83,0.054000000000000006,0.818,0.128,0.8485,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,1,4,2,0,0,4,0,9,3,1,1,0,9,13,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,2,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,6,1,16,10,0,13,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,0,6,45,8,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23602152110689875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16424951783462707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3975192425122287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18572260587886247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080304931826636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4944348938360499,0.2113656057052824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139249781788989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21707269414684452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25238019610852475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21636453916245849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16189329119970694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19278792224153907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22236950445327555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408388016775102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639838496211602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715768548526134,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,C4Arthur,2019/03/20,"Fantasizing that it's all a bad drem I keep fantasizing about waking up on the ground during a boxing class I took last year and having it all just have been a dream. 

I was diagnosed about 9 months ago with type 1 and it has taken everything from me. I have crippling insomnia and couldn't leave my bed for the entirety of last week. My only comfort is thinking about waking up in that ring and going back to a normal, successful life.",8.324302325581396,6.547558523255818,8.436860465116277,72.86831395348841,62.6046511627907,11.855813953488376,33.127906976744185,10.686352973137794,3.255381395348838,347,10,67,7,4,114,64,86,0.043,0.8420000000000001,0.115,0.6057,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,6,0,8,5,2,0,2,12,13,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,5,5,0,1,1,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,4,1,7,2,12,8,2,14,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,7,46,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23538915277891076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20418730822211212,0.2217185426850164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26952204985649897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386542494201056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15091504316081455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236028128133666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4329083735698206,0.0,0.2811732547159771,0.0,0.0,0.18756191396539973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119550644573091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601772025584793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20195853718067874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701501757218891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950296795259642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130037583934408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17100193403202466
bipolarreddit,throwaway920102,2019/03/20,"I want to kill myself over the smallest inconveniences. My boyfriend ignored/didn't hear me & had the nerve to ask ""are you sure you didn't fall asleep"". There is *nothing* in the world I hate more than whenever people make stupid comments like that, obviously I'd know if I fell asleep. With that being said, that set me off to which I started throwing things and hung up on my boyfriend. I'm refusing to talk to him because this rage inside does not need to be directed at him. Idk where to post this or turn to. I'm very angry right now and just want to take my own life. ",3.512193236714978,5.045169765217395,3.7585507246376832,90.87425120772949,73.08695652173913,6.850241545893723,24.951690821256037,7.3871296695380915,0.923531400966184,453,14,97,5,9,140,86,115,0.188,0.753,0.059000000000000004,-0.9604,0,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,2,0,0,4,6,4,0,3,0,6,3,2,1,2,15,20,4,1,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,7,3,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,4,0,0,3,2,14,2,17,15,2,16,0,0,0,0,10,9,0,2,3,58,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24896802835284565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21481457133836024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400725960017669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010832334002758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268615401661937,0.0,0.0,0.2589803143513045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542190511322344,0.0,0.1262818367016886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16230138356598872,0.11225957516740934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533808548922865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703799811215568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22048143057275565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15930147615787746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22006704382601505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962320423258108,0.21857471101793025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16264044287033952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21656623053750249,0.0,0.17276700050687815,0.1846895686305539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15265653810907004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499361571767931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895937024861528,0.27106202175533795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,meowmeow2345,2019/03/31,"Inspired by the other post: lamictal solo treatment? In the last 1.5 years I’ve taken a ton of medications, Wellbutrin, adderall, abilify, seroquel, Zoloft, gabapentin, propranolol, hydroxozine are a few.  I spent 2 weeks in a hospital last May for a mixed episode. For the majority of that time my main mix was lithium, lamictal, and latuda. After months of tapering (mostly due to weight gain and acne side effects), I’m down to just 250 mg latuda (with Xanax/Ativan as needed).  Does anyone have experience with being only on lamictal? After being told my some doctors that my bipolar will never be able to be treated with one medication, I’ve been a bit nervous about this ",8.14017857142857,8.68760704166667,8.304047619047621,66.06000000000002,61.91666666666666,10.857142857142858,37.976190476190474,10.608840637214634,4.421119047619047,535,25,81,12,7,175,91,120,0.018000000000000002,0.9209999999999999,0.06,0.7059,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,1,8,0,10,6,0,1,1,13,15,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,5,1,4,2,20,4,7,16,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,3,10,56,8,1,0.22530906222715386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15754133500585674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459791414165494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23061337235191695,0.1971694786859592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22039549627757254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3673139146301591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4539503529566273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798395438958757,0.0,0.0,0.16706381476067333,0.17377223865267874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267525160948126,0.17135769463893574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157838004363222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13137952607213554,0.0,0.0,0.21529246436578692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807293392854937,0.2743657391779086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450916490265135
bipolarreddit,kismesistude,2019/03/31,"Does anyone else have adverse reactions to touch when coming out of an episode? I just had a minor freakout over something I said, basically I told my boyfriend I wasn't up for D&D tonight (which he was okay with) but I feel like I ruin everything and I hid myself away in the bathroom.

I ended up getting really angry at myself during this and threw my phone at the wall, which prompted my mother to come upstairs and ask what was going on. I blew up at her and told her ""everything's fine, just please leave me alone"" (which was obviously yelled, not calmly spoken).

I then moved to my room and started sobbing which prompted my boyfriend to come in and try to comfort me. We talked it out and I started to calm down, but when he was rubbing my back it felt like my skin was burning so I pulled away. I don't really know how to describe it other than an adverse tactile reaction to touch. I notice it a lot after I have a breakdown like this.

TL;DR had mini-breakdown, lashed out and regretted it, talked it out with boyfriend and when he tried to physically comfort me it felt like my skin was burning. ",5.364146825396826,6.1003427824074095,5.668809523809526,81.90000000000002,67.93518518518519,8.023280423280424,31.63227513227513,7.957251820313856,2.189055291005291,875,35,166,10,14,279,117,216,0.135,0.74,0.124,-0.3782,0,1,1,0,0,0,26.0,1,0,0,0,8,15,0,0,7,1,12,2,2,1,1,32,28,17,0,1,5,1,8,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,15,19,0,0,4,0,0,7,3,5,0,0,15,10,31,10,32,13,1,36,0,3,0,0,14,19,1,1,14,119,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482486912621945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509089576433074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008601954486117,0.14666267815385667,0.0,0.0,0.13381551242748646,0.0,0.268967342939308,0.1100649484427746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.369904362333258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526178159325216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957415093638535,0.0,0.1267785447143673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572879566980686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237530881084027,0.10225843068369653,0.2748715068833805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478414687649935,0.0,0.08134911317144908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866537443543993,0.0,0.0,0.1515633858600902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797216684571577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169154067199447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521339561397114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16296454162352814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157123485254106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18339683888726868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13615783499380826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110195288097928,0.0,0.0,0.20262884466852155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23009918845198624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27355063095757604,0.0,0.19436378106575852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,golden095,2019/03/31,Lithium solo treatment? Recently my doctor is pairing back my anti-psychotic so I will soon be solo lithium. He upped the lithium a bit to curb any discontinuation mania and I’m a week into tapering off. Anyone who is solo lithium with good experiences? Looking for a little encouragement and any advice if you have it! ,4.3547126436781625,7.293642172413794,6.897241379310348,62.830229885057484,75.55172413793103,8.004597701149425,32.08045977011494,8.841846274778883,3.6767839080459774,258,13,35,6,6,92,46,58,0.0,0.892,0.10800000000000001,0.7235,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,0,5,1,0,0,0,6,7,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,6,5,1,8,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,1,4,27,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.293133997819092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4079892170588606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20975085401678195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.230663753420998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.327497129439191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3070391132378463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934350122395165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516064282702595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30065570460239044,0.0,0.0,0.2519050817888055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961910426562257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406234101013031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tinypurplepotato,2019/03/31,"Mania and crafts I'm awake. I have been wide awake since 3 am. I know that it is in part due to my (maybe? hopefully? tapering off) mania and in part my new med. 

I have so many craft, gift, and furniture rearrangement ideas. They're all floating in and out of my brain and they all sound amazing; it is absolute torture that I need to wait another 6 hours for the fabric store to open and before anyone gets too concerned I only need a yard and a quarter of fabric so hopefully it's a cheap visit. 

If my husband wasn't asleep right now I'd be taking furniture apart right now to fill the time and to make getting it downstairs easier. If my gym was open I could fill this time productively, or at least in a hot tub. Ugh.

How do you guys fill up antsy hours? It's been a long time since the 3am ""gotta make shit"" style mania hit me.",2.3906523534269226,3.828800208092488,3.689401321222132,90.62082369942199,75.82080924855491,7.254995871180843,22.183732452518573,7.957251820313856,0.843368620974402,648,17,145,10,14,212,107,173,0.061,0.847,0.092,0.6601,0,0,0,0,1,0,20.0,0,1,1,0,6,6,2,0,8,0,12,3,3,3,2,28,26,14,0,7,3,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,8,11,0,1,3,2,2,4,1,3,0,1,4,2,14,3,16,18,5,28,0,0,0,0,5,14,1,5,10,81,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652986234031892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11022511222065716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13413949247440926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17597767046178153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586220904899814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16472012813125173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15608775950333428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31314292552572964,0.3104860491967862,0.0,0.0,0.17795565986150633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663447466946025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395058810926512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104510060197481,0.15982157785971124,0.158369934501292,0.0,0.17510180189451496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337751895948034,0.0,0.1522490850562213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989184375483185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3414161499306529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26924631988639075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16181454711307144,0.2608018303532929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11852518715331307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757623515934953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,piifunk,2019/03/31,"my medicine regimen. 1500mg lithium
100mg anafranil
20mg abilfy
1800mg gabapentin
45mg buspar
.8mg clonodine

taken daily. i feel kind of normal but keep being told i’m over medicated. GAD, OCD, rapid-cycling BIP.

feedback?",1.4928571428571438,3.9028815,2.471785714285716,86.6919642857143,103.04761904761904,4.0047619047619065,26.67857142857143,5.985473137389443,1.3678000000000003,181,9,30,2,8,57,36,42,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,6,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,1,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257186820059537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3967903747964292,0.0,0.4648680875383792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4497118532080156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4373877407450421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4265645901630539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,casualfanboy,2019/03/31,"Grateful to be doing good This is the first time I’ve remembered World Bipolar Day on the actual day, and I’m just happy to be doing good these days. Last month marks 15 years since I was diagnosed, and I can honestly say life is way better since then. There have been ups and downs (way more depression than mania) and it never completely went away, but I’m feeling solid. I’ve got a support network that kicks ass and I just feel safe. 

It took a while to get here, but I never want to go back. My advice? Stick with the therapy and stay honest. And keep fighting.",2.171230893000807,4.370115584070799,3.349106999195495,89.34800482703139,79.0,6.586967015285603,20.892196299275945,7.686295010490155,0.8141929203539822,443,12,90,7,11,143,81,113,0.09300000000000001,0.69,0.217,0.9165,0,0,0,0,2,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,5,10,1,0,5,0,10,4,1,0,2,20,22,11,0,1,4,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,8,0,2,3,0,0,3,2,2,0,1,5,3,5,8,10,15,1,24,0,1,0,1,2,5,1,0,13,55,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.16091368762465344,0.0,0.0,0.16113343952855488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15492423623749574,0.12679404040410874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14583618577314947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17288922083336014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31903080955895635,0.0,0.14202378128968168,0.16736490615826805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16675168542676866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402595626802176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615080708983096,0.0,0.09371360172545697,0.2766121261696995,0.1318815572560426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17553374354633952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14656621058215855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13441139483062298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11647018173985342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316175781964943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543543062196716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18679383725921705,0.0,0.0,0.13113108492626793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728056179939133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757560797948593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18712083843077684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18857174935204232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615157307243496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18320435991807316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725931548753644,0.26177187673033936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15285927332845675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061869433591429
bipolarreddit,BillllyOcean,2019/02/15,"Annnd THERE’S the downward slide Posting because, like seeking treatment, you tend to when you’re depressed and not when things are energetic and manic. Been taking stimulants for so long that now I realize, I was taking more than usual (for school), that I realize I was self-medicating. Bummer. Oh well, more espresso, less depresso.",7.583448275862068,9.327660620689656,7.1546551724137935,69.59336206896553,63.48275862068966,9.937931034482759,36.91379310344829,10.125756701596842,4.2030206896551725,268,13,40,6,4,84,46,58,0.099,0.774,0.126,0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,0,6,7,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,3,0,5,2,4,4,3,8,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,29,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827799459769509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25825212704962386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14648689087075756,0.0,0.0,0.26534934928436554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3330551287681663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871642528943986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034545276367543,0.0,0.0,0.312798966164712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4508853825890212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992006615501879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3302318776883553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695925601870291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,f0rtyfikacja,2019/02/15,"Therapy for bipolar? Hi!

I'm asking on behalf of my non-tech mum.

She is over 50, she was diagnosed with bpd just last year. She started having symptomes after her thyroid was removed (due to the risk of cancer) and she is on thyroid hormones.

She was always more on the ""maniac"" side and by this I mean never depressed, always energetic and doing more things at once than one person could be capable of. Then the ""first depression"" came, then again she was up with her mood and from that time the extreme swings started, finally causing a 3-months long deep depressive state. So she went to psychiatrist (some professor someone reccomended her) who prescribed her some meds (idk exactly what, but something more like a 1st generation lithium thing?). He told she does not need to go to the therapy as this is purely physical (like the ""chemicals in the brain"") thing, not managable with therapy.

At first there was a huge improvement after just two weeks and it lasted about six months of really minor swings and neutral state.

But now she is back at the deep depression state and I am worried that meds are not right. I know absolutelty nothing about bipolar other than what internet taught me, but I have a feeling that a) those meds might not be well-suited for her? b) she should at least try therapy?

She obv does not want to go to any other doctor, she kinda feels uncurable at this point and even blames herself for the state, and blindly listens to the ""professor with years of experience"". Idk, can you hint me with things that worked for you so I can try and advise her on? Would therapy be useful? And if so, what type of therapy? 

Thank you in advance ",5.660660349422562,7.1880054495114045,5.803412792419309,78.30957284572106,67.79478827361564,9.230026650873556,30.89265620373112,9.573946990214177,2.9487537459283395,1311,52,232,28,22,415,174,307,0.067,0.858,0.075,0.6865,0,0,1,0,0,0,50.0,0,3,0,4,12,10,1,1,15,0,23,10,1,2,3,46,42,21,0,6,11,1,2,2,0,3,9,1,0,1,19,17,0,0,4,0,0,6,6,6,0,5,9,4,30,3,44,26,6,51,0,4,1,0,31,19,0,5,24,175,49,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442872477572039,0.0,0.0,0.05896083520876823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810553563027897,0.0,0.0,0.06666905391339949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919906371780423,0.09678893026189006,0.0,0.09916483474416067,0.0,0.08906759560434219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922508146791602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2987077658100976,0.08800145429796588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874392656142782,0.15174830113459653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057266340935301516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481191501019977,0.0,0.0,0.08767901922231999,0.0,0.0,0.09497861181319267,0.0,0.14749860981469667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855032848453776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04764955749814272,0.14134860755249887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08471715681951303,0.0,0.0,0.07672919502098202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09444469978930503,0.2889215895600836,0.0,0.0,0.09197790381802967,0.0,0.0,0.13841059704015554,0.0,0.0,0.06428898184433464,0.0668704968325747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831936157863057,0.0,0.0,0.09233558662009086,0.0587520193577651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07570548680456553,0.0,0.0,0.08196211249681312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0555439943065953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404366477397507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07346294880204657,0.06674800385722282,0.0,0.0,0.12273728885303754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901173429810842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982423254798104,0.5949128247996727,0.0,0.2304057869312976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050557063948698085,0.0,0.0,0.08284818201153804,0.0,0.11773093597933615,0.0,0.08469597692018876,0.0,0.0,0.07488332798615968,0.0,0.0,0.051139521440857684,0.0,0.06954770683710486,0.0,0.07795617431353992,0.0803743070432805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06312062610829837,0.08805083939649111,0.0,0.06159113766646907,0.0,0.0,0.11166744161077127
bipolarreddit,pigglesbaby,2019/02/15,"In the emergency room right now. Came here as I think I’m having lithium poisoning. Told my psychiatrist I didn’t want to be on this and I feel like he totally dismissed me. Now I’m suffering physically and mentally... Nauseous, migraine, chills, weird thoughts, throwing up. Felt awful all day and listened to my body. Something is wrong so I’m in the emergency room with my fiancé, baby, and brother close to midnight. I told my new doctor that I didn’t want to be on lithium and he told me I needed to be on it. Fighting off the shakes and just want to be home, without a migraine, and without a knot in my stomach. Has anybody else experienced lithium poisoning? ",2.5761867266591665,5.244076748031496,4.021872890888638,82.38498031496063,80.73228346456693,6.778177727784027,31.118672665916762,7.957251820313856,2.6045775028121487,525,28,94,10,14,173,76,127,0.196,0.7559999999999999,0.048,-0.9674,0,0,1,0,2,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,5,8,3,1,5,1,9,7,2,0,2,23,25,9,0,4,3,1,2,1,0,0,5,1,3,0,3,10,0,0,4,0,0,3,4,7,0,0,8,4,13,1,18,13,2,19,0,1,0,0,8,12,0,0,5,62,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071315915616532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21327762399598904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202608927685258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19086497597587526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15577586260925935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428731940248712,0.13321771573604213,0.1790451604972941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870495428577816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09110222371053407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187922853824234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13826878582771365,0.0,0.18009863382501534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15924855757276213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14355749904561682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194855952879403,0.0,0.1480402521715129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5345543142605362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3299632068163251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35951032521694504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20388104500648352,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,srakes19,2019/02/15,"Manic and proud of myself for starting a big journey! How has your Thursday been? I'm finally moving away from Northern Virginia and slowing down my world to a pace I'm more comfortable with. I'm driving all my stuff and my bikes in my old 2 door jeep (most maniacal idea I've had in a while) to Florida on Wednesday, first move and 1,000 mile road trip of my life. 🙃 2 months ago me wouldve been shi**ing bricks at the idea but I'm really starting to sort it all out since I started Lamictal and Hydroxyzine again. Hope all you beautiful people are having a good week going into a long weekend!",3.941951447245565,5.382085529411764,4.8372549019607884,83.93209150326798,71.85714285714286,7.97796451914099,29.188608776844074,8.515128840125781,2.1518900093370674,474,19,93,8,9,154,89,119,0.01,0.8370000000000001,0.154,0.9573,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,2,2,5,1,0,6,0,6,1,0,1,3,18,15,8,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,8,0,0,2,2,0,6,0,1,0,1,3,0,10,4,16,12,5,34,0,0,0,0,2,12,0,3,16,55,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729184975388682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18327544136940813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136905304154075,0.0,0.16592712593457656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086323312396712,0.16361613503185454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937493230987396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4404223864469634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377842775485666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17263152271197355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557036543911446,0.4146587857704554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046939939917912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352375335476373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496735189298765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16136458458714553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4142163565467841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233093999008671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15647403220028835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,crustyma,2019/04/16,"Lamictal My doc prescribed 25 mg of lamictal.. ever sense ive started taking it my dreams are so vivid. Not so much nightmares, but just about stuff currently going on in my life. Is this normal???",1.2571171171171187,3.8741520540540533,2.7609459459459447,86.25150900900906,96.02702702702706,5.709909909909912,22.382882882882885,7.1686216300943375,1.4420126126126127,154,6,27,3,6,50,33,37,0.0,0.9359999999999999,0.064,0.3378,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,5,6,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,4,6,1,6,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,3,20,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3851001449074112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419540462759923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3007080212861205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3129629621114502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4171282437411639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013362220461499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4873627744291157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3200984595725188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lizzylou94,2019/04/16,"Struggling to get the help I need!   

Around the age of 19/20 I began struggling badly with my mental health. I began drinking heavily, doing drugs and staying up all night on my PC. Having just enough sleep to sober up a little so I could go to work and live a seemingly normal life.

One morning I was on the transfer bus from the car park to my office and as it pulled in to the stop before my office I got off the bus and found myself on a train to the seaside. I love the seaside, it is where I go when I need to calm my mind. I texted work letting them know I wouldn’t be in work today then went and found a place to sit! Today was different though, instead of calming thoughts and feeling refreshed, my head was spinning with thoughts like walking into the sea or stepping in front of a train anything to just end it all.

In a panic I ran back to the train station, getting on the first train home. 35 minuets into the journey the train stopped. A person had stepped out in front of the train I was on. My mind was all over, at the time I was thinking it was a sign. I thought about it for the next 3 hours and had basically talked myself into doing it. By time I had reached my car I had managed to buy enough packets of pills to take my own life. 

I started to take them, I had taken about 100/150 pills and then in a split second I changed my mind. I ran back to the train station looking for help. I was crying so much I couldn’t even get my words out I kind of just threw my empty packets at the feet of the first ‘official’ person I found. 

Within a few hours I was in hospital and my mum was there. The next few days I had explained what had happened. My mum didn’t believe me, she refused to believe it. She would say things like ‘but you’re always so happy’, ‘you have no reason to do something like that’ or ‘it just doesn’t make sense’. 

So that was the first time I really knew I had a problem, work organised for me to see a councilor. I had 6 sessions, but I felt like I was getting nowhere. So, I stopped going.

I went to my local doctor’s office, and they gave me some pills. Then some more pills and again some more. Most of the time I would just stopped taking my pills as they started causing me problems with my job.  A few years later I felt like I was no better, so I decided to start therapy again, and once again I got nowhere, the therapist would call me by the wrong name or show up late. So, I stopped going. After a few months my doctor sent me to a new therapist it was here that my therapist told me she believed I was Bipolar. I felt like I had answers and I could fix it on my own. So, I stopped going.

A few weeks later I relocated to be with my boyfriend over 100 miles from ‘home’ and from my Doctors. But I felt great, my mind was distracted by all the new things going on I felt happy and normal for once. Boy was I wrong!! Once everything had settled down it hit me and hard! Self-harm was on my mind ALL the time! It still is but since moving to a new house I feel like the change is distracting me right now and everything will come back once I am not so busy. I also feel like I am not good enough and that I am alone despite having an amazing boyfriend and a great job.

I know that I need to go to my new doctors and get some help but at the same time I don’t want to because I am scared! I don’t know much or anything about the treatment for being Bipolar but if the road is as rocky as it was when I was being treated just for depression I am not sure I could cope.

I promised my boyfriend I would try and get help, and in my mind, I want to but only when I physically can’t. Like the middle of the night or on a weekend. 

I need help to overcome this by someone who understands how I am feeling but no one does ☹ 

TL:DR After an attempted suicide I tried to get help and for years nothing worked, I tired therapy and medication. I finally found out I am bipolar, but I relocated before I started treatment and can’t bring myself to go to my new doctor to get treatment. Need advice from someone who understands.",3.621029994340688,4.291688397849462,4.48857448280199,89.0359026598755,71.831541218638,7.164006791171478,27.706910645790106,7.0608816371341465,1.2055524492234166,3147,109,688,27,57,1018,304,837,0.09699999999999999,0.802,0.1,0.6411,3,1,3,0,1,1,74.0,0,1,4,10,38,35,0,6,53,0,69,24,3,4,6,140,145,62,1,21,24,2,10,9,0,6,19,1,2,3,24,37,1,7,28,3,1,26,14,12,0,6,58,13,122,23,103,71,25,133,0,1,2,1,31,43,0,12,71,485,146,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042687115447966974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04524304284379433,0.0,0.03493376495037967,0.03634826066842995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07189577339526729,0.03888767193176335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007699926845766,0.03647398740392512,0.026629121534456117,0.0,0.07434306467203174,0.14764939899794186,0.0,0.03863460071853294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04460584714150038,0.0,0.0,0.04487509786845037,0.09242292850147296,0.0376295596511118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463341750990536,0.0,0.04798439136056807,0.028172312833691614,0.0,0.0376246269303715,0.0,0.0,0.045640072014000506,0.0,0.22356011536256729,0.038227819099531817,0.0,0.0,0.042793304600413216,0.050659115804341896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038690710058556434,0.1354105310187554,0.0,0.028852610611107787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852001895581999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835097752250387,0.062415155522407936,0.2097155674121363,0.04785325652507892,0.0,0.11147176208109406,0.0,0.19158728251201196,0.0,0.0,0.18258305458824095,0.0,0.1986112055997148,0.03663973722233205,0.0698755426126023,0.09632266246099136,0.0,0.0,0.038629269640441416,0.09300402446195613,0.0391319317779114,0.0,0.044831983778756204,0.04643363178913014,0.0,0.0,0.17568120684799446,0.0,0.08763643966840025,0.0,0.0860391075342853,0.05040501771477493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669847944614431,0.0,0.0,0.045489754755821885,0.07202210438966637,0.0,0.04927701172317168,0.0,0.0,0.044669448087256175,0.06171004738335219,0.1920744357055738,0.04378245057870324,0.03857342553910601,0.0,0.036683228108138434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03942616108195873,0.0,0.029159147060670982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04400663857471149,0.044022801632834736,0.0,0.26464794326898466,0.0,0.03486783855600579,0.046428761272850116,0.0642249552856316,0.1619542063840611,0.0,0.21094950054980385,0.09291602382010447,0.08198821242605034,0.08560132043072244,0.04191559932778426,0.0,0.0,0.18608646425009587,0.05920228565191595,0.03322335178662991,0.0,0.05125330097091372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07628568182361338,0.045640072014000506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359862511236611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027984837399064117,0.0449140237668083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03730556192435125,0.0,0.0347389578317342,0.04373491154293785,0.0,0.034810179257507644,0.03976791541593532,0.04557152942206648,0.0,0.0,0.0361355313466652,0.0,0.043715155047504964,0.0,0.07402595736032379,0.03362977506345249,0.0,0.0,0.12367792825250146,0.04656091305961177,0.034885785193252535,0.2191287101948391,0.0,0.09133518209062813,0.0,0.04778277621566824,0.0,0.0411712828765553,0.0,0.09853390852232936,0.035111228817000406,0.0,0.0,0.09991202395191512,0.1521601048583207,0.05804289521819785,0.027990691671072536,0.04291892234777424,0.10403971399535407,0.15283357615608914,0.050207880437219764,0.0828139038013214,0.041741558765169016,0.0,0.059316603736403226,0.0,0.0,0.09095235150387886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051531446740711716,0.0,0.035040354796433096,0.0,0.0,0.08099028317095952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15901093180456655,0.0,0.0,0.12412632503923815,0.09552233396168264,0.0,0.05626162171552468
bipolarreddit,Saint_Dogbert,2019/04/16,"Hello Darkness my old friend So I have been cycling more and more often lately, primarily triggered by the fact that im getting the run around with unemployment and haven't been paid since before xmas from them and im starting to have that fight or flight response happen. Just this week I started again having thoughts of what bridge locally I wanted to jump off, if that would be effective or should I find a parking garage instead. I keep flirting with that edge between just thinking and crossing over and carrying it out and a few things stopping me but lately a big trigger has been my family that I live with.

Had I not irrationally quit my job last fall esp when I knew the new job offer I had was not in stone yet, I feel that I would of been on the path of moving out finally, and since then im starting to realize that I may never obtain that goal. I'm in the IT profession and frankly a trigger lately is helping my mother especially with IT issues almost every single day, often times things I have shown her before how to resolve but then she sits there and claims I never had which further enrages me and triggers me to start rapid cycling again.

Oh should also mention I have been off medication since last summer. And at this moment I am safe, this is mostly a vent vs a note I am leaving to be found. To be quite honest its fucking disturbing how my mental well being is so tied to my financial well being. My old job may of sucked, but at least I was starting to dig myself out of debt, now I am just being suffocated by it to the point that I just laugh at collection letters and calls.

I really have no desire to restart things at my old dr office as I just did not feel like anything was being changed for the better. Hell at times dealing with their buraracy at times was a trigger in of its self.",7.014805746957926,6.349240367688023,7.128808092655039,77.60614572643306,64.54317548746518,9.563465767482773,33.10086497581,8.6894789155246,2.5920551532033427,1448,51,275,18,19,467,193,359,0.092,0.799,0.109,0.7642,6,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,0,0,2,7,22,16,5,1,14,0,40,3,0,8,3,71,59,27,0,7,15,1,2,1,1,6,2,0,0,1,23,21,0,3,10,0,2,5,7,6,2,0,17,2,38,10,45,29,6,59,1,0,0,1,15,21,3,9,33,213,61,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368398581025188,0.0,0.0,0.0748176305438915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698957468791222,0.08328571155829881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15922051213298302,0.0,0.0,0.08274370904125945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553232513788364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897107466414884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06033663122632204,0.0964533283822022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07882594606753053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881973681918375,0.0,0.09461062676553156,0.06683725691817101,0.0,0.10248730052717976,0.0855095533014961,0.0,0.0,0.1025806017491402,0.07228203311220811,0.08649209089823995,0.048879756952770574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273229147342448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06270939517554719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.303173376022652,0.0976493726858886,0.27852314858414506,0.08315790638240159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15252315173676978,0.31660966941135843,0.09906352847769463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04570730475534095,0.0,0.08261269018373517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424900038796262,0.09428361680313696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943645961025696,0.0,0.0,0.14431410555381394,0.09035809233829592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29451751798590003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844176067581372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990191209689181,0.0,0.0,0.05993511516230951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760052649530396,0.0,0.0,0.23217435947504056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33110121237909285,0.0,0.0,0.07821797862423434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864656685144555,0.05994765325434887,0.0,0.07427393807159569,0.1636618047294629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0551824395268465,0.0,0.07504591397492401,0.0,0.16823825306133225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292065056182525,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,02496,2019/04/16,"High functioning bipolar I hate the fact that this exists. ""Look, that person has bipolar disorder! What's your excuse?"" It enrages me. Someone with an SO, job, college education, independent living situation, transportation, what more could the universe fucking owe you? ""Someone made a joke about the weather being bipolar!"" WHAT? ""I wish I wasn't high functioning so people would realize I have a severe illness."" **WHAT?!** 

Absolutely infuriating.",4.7220523138833,7.8471542535211265,5.5005331991951705,64.65933098591549,98.01408450704227,7.662374245472837,34.64889336016097,7.957251820313856,4.554069617706238,356,21,43,10,14,115,55,71,0.21899999999999997,0.7190000000000001,0.062,-0.925,2,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,2,0,0,3,4,3,0,6,0,6,5,0,2,1,8,12,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,8,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,1,3,0,0,2,1,7,1,2,7,1,3,0,0,1,1,4,2,1,0,0,32,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781223808694264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25568501634924345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20624677938780092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202591070316892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4714220537675517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22138634019926254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969960618364968,0.0,0.1873427462496668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110969075884135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466526790596424,0.1947970485344682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25203268371772164,0.0,0.0,0.2507669683486106,0.0,0.0,0.3780535918148117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256547054246825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15847955464946228,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DubDubGreek,2019/04/16,"Posting here for the first time I'm a 24 year old guy with a history of depression and anxiety which I've gotten much more under control, but I've definitely developed bipolar tendencies. I'd call it more cyclothymia than anything, the depression isn't too bad and the mania isn't too insane anymore, but they're there. Just wanted to post. Thanks.",7.015909090909092,7.618115893939398,7.293484848484847,72.16022727272728,64.30303030303031,10.842424242424245,36.196969696969695,10.686352973137794,4.1125878787878785,283,13,48,7,4,92,52,66,0.12,0.687,0.193,0.7440000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,5,0,2,1,0,1,0,8,6,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,6,5,3,7,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,28,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18458794080020186,0.0,0.23929711372483464,0.0,0.0,0.1985629945850046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20146898270534092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463864053794383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706298198496828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4156493902563658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20524309793845946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23891730223833316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773775960165484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25319566779476776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4621826274292266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221495212638297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14069947425998985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14232044384415726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538432317328255
bipolarreddit,laeiylaa,2019/03/15,"Hanging isn’t painful like they think; anyone hung themselves remember the experience? All I remember is the act of it and being resuscitated. The just before and as I started to regain consciousness and came to the realisation I wasn’t dead... they were shouting my name but I didn’t quite hear them at first. Honestly thought I was entering the afterlife for a short while. Anyone else have a different experience surviving this type of suicide attempt? 

I also have decided it might be time to try again. I don’t want to repeat past mistakes but I also this time want it to look like it wasn’t intentional. If I died in a tragic accident the people who think they love me could accept that more than if I died intentionally. ",5.5952941176470565,7.272432647058824,6.633117647058821,71.72952941176472,68.11764705882354,10.145882352941179,31.982352941176465,10.355215969177356,3.6070817647058817,584,25,102,16,10,195,88,136,0.19,0.657,0.153,-0.8708,1,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,4,4,4,8,0,0,9,0,14,2,0,2,1,26,24,11,4,6,5,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,8,4,0,0,8,0,0,4,5,3,0,1,7,3,16,5,12,13,2,15,0,1,1,1,8,3,0,3,10,74,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25376645453766866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22188256288690625,0.16256961290207503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350110413813346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814688951869723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667997769189646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32933554362827583,0.16576969697208244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254308236775697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104069008998904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13495918101282095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17882541369499752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15503004559107353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13323746740755565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14320009778520806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16831701107084535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16882926190203218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514623637443705,0.10999736581334768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16875827377297628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3594698687635603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230291596747988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17355223127882735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033304625342976,0.0,0.1259611791496254,0.1850360475532904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077221725655946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18716780964149976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,__sortof,2019/03/15,"Am I disabled? Hi /r/BipolarReddit, long time no see. I've been pretty well, so I haven't been coming around much.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder almost 10 years ago. I wasn't all that compliant with my treatment until about 5 years ago, when I overcame my marijuana addiction and started getting my life under control. I was rediagnosed bipolar I from bipolar II, I revamped all my meds, started in on weekly group therapy then graduated to weekly individual therapy. I'd been working at Starbucks the whole time, but last September I started back in school, and things have been great. I haven't had a major episode in over a year. Sometimes I still get very sad and a little suicidal, and there's some intrusive thoughts here and there with some paranoia/psychotic delusions, but I have a 4.0 GPA!

The thing is though, to pay for my weekly therapy and my medication, I need to maintain 20 hours a week at Starbucks to  be health benefits eligible. I've been juggling school with work since September, and clearly I am capable of doing that. But I'm starting to plan for September, and as part of my program I have to do a placement of 10 hours a week while still maintaining a full time course load, and reddit, I just don't know that this is a good idea. Since September I've been tired all the time, and I have no doubt the psychosis-lite comes on when I am stressed from having 3 papers due in the course of a week while still having to work 20 hours a week while having to go to class while having to go to therapy while having to maintain a social life while having to get exercise while having to cook right so I don't get ill etc etc etc. It seems to me a recipe for relapse. And TBH I'm secretly convinced that I've just been in an extended hypomanic state since September.

I have a couple of friends who've been telling me for years that I should just apply for disability. I am in Ontario, Canada, where I can apply for a bursary for students with permanent disabilities which can pay for services including therapy. Then I could ease off on my hours at Starbucks and still maintain my treatment.

But honestly, I don't feel ""disabled."" I'm working 20 hours a week and maintaining a 4.0 GPA on a full course load. This, it seems to me, is more than fully able people do. I don't think anyone would consider me disabled either, despite my long track record of being in treatment.

I was just hoping to hear some discussion around the word ""disabled,"" its relationship to bipolar disorder, what it means to be given that title by governing agencies, how you feel about the word, the relationship between disability and capability, and whatever else you have to say about the topic!

Also, I just wanted to say while I'm here that this community gave me so much support when I really needed it, and I am glad it's still an awesome community full of amazing people.",8.081970488378168,7.332750850091407,8.143370984591277,71.47389168190129,62.436928702010974,11.397466701488641,37.8172499347088,10.686352973137794,4.026910733873073,2293,100,413,49,28,747,237,547,0.062,0.8190000000000001,0.11900000000000001,0.9885,0,0,0,0,0,0,63.0,0,2,0,6,31,14,0,2,29,0,51,14,0,2,4,65,84,41,1,7,10,0,2,0,1,2,13,3,0,0,20,25,1,1,10,2,2,4,9,3,1,0,16,6,47,11,70,62,19,81,0,1,1,0,15,25,0,8,51,293,67,17,0.063404032590872,0.0,0.0,0.06911975431076234,0.0,0.0,0.11240769862278256,0.0,0.06348997994622604,0.0,0.0,0.05070418195567431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04433357380472466,0.0,0.0,0.11288606288279658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048753787365015636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923391980062752,0.0,0.0,0.07111301390498427,0.050622960790723655,0.0701553560978262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06435375843533403,0.0,0.0,0.14533302883382876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05296593340191148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21213676931375827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411796791193043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04898579829920456,0.0,0.13250396049516516,0.0,0.072067945735794,0.05318029435327229,0.0,0.06990316976733457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739552173786666,0.07146095279464107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629745106198249,0.31220100166120346,0.0,0.0,0.07157543522972275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034845198153241365,0.051682748985061935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956828659788546,0.0,0.06354749749307395,0.0,0.11222114726874567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06906557902053972,0.07042758679247614,0.0638728923927656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321851863156592,0.09402657355310358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06866038861804345,0.0,0.08791274577258137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06450469530609107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04061824683075521,0.0,0.0,0.1361444054115924,0.0,0.05414669739885633,0.0,0.10084286313557532,0.0,0.1283365319234206,0.050524805027152515,0.11544129996360646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15734541287509052,0.0,0.0,0.06463242656829163,0.0,0.0,0.0627082094692878,0.0,0.17951080242633605,0.0,0.2531727116469908,0.0,0.07262910511297903,0.0,0.0,0.06935372076350384,0.07195014481234177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05541791913028283,0.0,0.3625401849194712,0.0,0.08424564385081132,0.04062674394160354,0.062294140100675015,0.05033571957798587,0.1478856051418439,0.0728736083532234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05231496709493411,0.037397341163935865,0.0,0.4068711237768649,0.0,0.057007839817396065,0.0,0.0,0.07078833809916765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846355634581536,0.0,0.0,0.04504040560198982,0.0,0.0,0.16332047282262807
bipolarreddit,PerfectStormX,2019/03/15,"Creating A Transcendental Platform For Transcending Bipolarity Transmutation Ascension, Lucid Dreaming Hybrid Mindset Voyagers 24/7, INtellectual Light Warrior/Soular Empowerment, Starseeds, Otherkin, Mind Voyagers, Mediums & Psychics, Merkaba-Ascension-5D, Dimension-Shifters, Future Earth(+Discord) Manage and transcend the negative effects of bipolar, and boost the positive potentials 

[https://www.reddit.com/r/LightWarriorAscension/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LightWarriorAscension/)

[https://discord.gg/PRVXJak](https://discord.gg/PRVXJak) 

[https://disboard.org/server/539367976806383616](https://disboard.org/server/539367976806383616)

​

Comprehensive Introductory Information To The Community, Discord Server And Internal Chatrooms/Mission Objective On Gaia:

​

At the shift of ages, and the arrival of the age of Aquarius, golden age as we battle the last inner and outer demons of the Kali Yuga/age of Pisces, this transition time is like no other. A powerful incentive, a leap of faith: Take the first step: make the Quantum Leap, The Interdimensional Shift and Enter The Lightning Grid

​

\-Psychic tools, trainings, intent, purpose documentations, pantheon and mentorship/guidance for otherkin and humans alike: All-in-One.

→Free Speech, Absolute Tolerance for Mutual Respect and Natural Equality ( circles of responsibility but nonhierarchy).

→Diverse Environment, rapidly expanding, work in progress pantheon for the golden age with widest assortments of deities helping out. Friendly and Helpful staff whose best interest is to serve your growth and cooperate on creative works/your development.

→ Knowledge on esoteric/transcendental topics generally not discussed/shunned/overlooked/disregarded/labeled as forbidden or far-fetched knowledge by others (metaphysics-spirit science, free energy, universal law, light body process, central nervous system rewiring, DNA-upgrade, cosmic origin, obscure(d) truths, connected dots and converging rivers).

\-""Convert""-friendly- encouraging ex-religious ones for the One-Source path of the truth-seeker lightwarriors/workers/starseeds/otherkin/enlightened human old or mature souls(motto: strength in unity, collaboration versus illusion of separation)

\-Various high-quality reddit/youtube/no-nonsense channeling websites/ news/video post feeds ( of spiritual/esoteric/cosmic theme)

\-Weavesilk avantgarde spirit-art. (Interactive generative art- subliminal, angelic/demonic/divine, spiritual source channeling and through the higher aspects of self outside of the boundaries of the human psyche box/confines. - Surreal, intricate shapes including the semblance of elements of Gothic dark fantasy, with multiple meanings will be created on the screen and you will recognize your ability to master your soul-mind interaction as well, as I fill the screen with this magical stream of thoughts with a natural flow.)

\-Soul ScienceTechnology & Source Transmissions. Logos God, Elohim, Doctor, Scientist, & Architect Of The Age Of Aquarius. 

\-Multiversal Starseed Community. Come join your star families and twin souls, or otherwise join and commune on the older site with archived content in the interim period 

\-Soul technology/higher-self descent to physical vessel: Production of DMT internally without the use of  physical substance and unlock spirit molecule

\-Sections encouraging to showcase your work (media/documents/arts, personal photos)

\-A place of unconditional love and growth for Starseeds, Indigos, Human Angels and Walk Ins' to reunite with their long lost Star Family and Soul Mates.

\-Server voice chat option for those interested

\-Server map for ease of access with descriptions and guidelines for each topic (accessibility)

Our own e-literature (growing library of PDF e-books and Links), videos, (multi)media and psychic tools, image-works not available anywhere else and written/crafted/made/authored exclusively by us.

\-Mainstream launch Mid-February with over 340 members and counting

\-Logos God, Elohim, Doctor, Scientist, & Architect Of The Age Of Aquarius.

\-Futuristic & Future-Oriented Community Dedicated To The Universal Law, Spirit Science, Soul Technologies and Extraterrestrial Soul Origins

\-A joint planetwide effort for reconstructing the new pantheon for the golden age of Aquarius, fusing the ancient with the new influx past with the future to create the new present in the Now with the help of deities and entities of various origins. Spirituality, lightworkers, ascension. 

​

We are highly focused and streamlined, yet loose and flexible (effortless effort being the motto). Our basic aim-quintessence is to harness all available energies to create an interdimensional rift/gate to haven that can propel us to 5th dimension and beyond while still connected to Earth but ultimately undergoing physical transfiguration, also fueled by the bowels of the earth likewise (as above so below)- which constructs a beastly cyclotron that irons out certain unwanted specific frequency-sets, diminishes their influence on the collective.

​

""As soon as humanity unites on this planet, it will qualify to establish contact with other more advanced civilizations, such as the Agarthans and those from the GF. In fact the Agarthans and some ascended masters such as St. Germain will already help us run the cities of light and the numerous healing centres which will manifest very soon all over the globe. The next step will be visiting other civilizations, but this could only happen after the incarnated human personality has completed the LBP and has ascended at least to 5D by transfiguring from a carbon-based body into crystalline light body.""

The three cities of light will be open portals to the multiverse and to numerous advanced humanoid, and later on, other civilisations, such as the dragons. Alone this fact will make the existence of national states and nations obsolete as all the people will recognize their multidimensional nature and will strive to ascend too and be able to live in these cities of light and enjoy the advantages of a higher dimensional life. In the first place, they will enjoy the healing possibilities there which will help all humans advance rapidly in their LBP and also ascend.

(Source: [http://www.stankovuniversallaw.com](http://www.stankovuniversallaw.com))

​

""You see, nothing is ever just about one thing. We are not just sharing information with you. We are also preparing you for contact. Now, all of the other beings from the other star systems that are connecting with you all through the various channels that you have there on Earth are doing the same thing. And certainly those who channel faeries are readying you for more interactions with the fae.""

""We are excited to witness the coming together of humanity and the Arcturian beings that you will be meeting in the flesh. Now, of course, some have already established connections with physical Arcturian beings.  A full and open contact with the fourth and fifth dimensional beings who are from our little star system.""

(Source: [www.danielscranton.com](https://www.danielscranton.com) )

​

\`\`\`Keywords: spirituality, starseeds, occult, esoteric, lightworker, light warrior, spiritual awakening, light body, soul technology, quantum, lucid dreaming, astral projection, psychic, chaos magic, otherkin, bilocation, golden age, mentor, indigo, crystalline, human angels, transliminal souls, walk-ins, lucid dream, mental projection, multilocation\`\`\`

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bipolarreddit,Traggggic,2019/03/15,"What do I do in this state? Hello,

I've only been able to talk about this recently even though I got diagnosed quite a few months ago. I'm on medication, and it was working quite well. However, it is not doing so as much anymore. I'm having the issue of not sleeping going on 9 days now even though I take seraquil for sleeping. I'm also far less able to control my mood at all, and I'm dealing with panic attacks as well. I was just curious if anyone had any advice because im a 22 year old college student who hopefully is graduating in a year or two, and I'm honestly unsure what to do in order to be able to do work and focus. Also, in addition to being a college student, I am in engineering....a field not really welcome to mental health issues. I'm just really worried and don't want to end up failing my classes and ultimately failing out of college or talking like 8 years to graduate. It's scary and new to me to deal with this fear and worry when medication isnt enough? ",5.035149253731344,5.016099542288559,7.028072139303482,74.50837686567165,68.50248756218906,9.685074626865672,33.167910447761194,9.516144504307137,3.091271641791045,772,33,148,15,12,274,123,201,0.151,0.775,0.07400000000000001,-0.9445,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,7,14,12,1,2,5,0,17,6,2,1,1,24,28,19,0,3,8,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,9,12,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,5,2,1,5,0,8,6,29,21,5,26,0,2,0,0,7,11,0,4,13,101,17,12,0.3344223602052796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108931219977884,0.09881508147713253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782916270884608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580622425698863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105523731182674,0.07794529665423537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268179045043198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06795358892833782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502770449356493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07189158542027423,0.22984984595672264,0.0,0.11314388535765972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873298310883796,0.1151825649412957,0.0,0.1472552099354607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254393767271393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335331135699188,0.0,0.08915603717338906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849177686787685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107189538460903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041117872894548,0.2327000389316129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05446062429013415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245968965934164,0.11233969403611838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897757911347709,0.0,0.0819463046269398,0.0,0.0,0.10766239980129576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697333704644285,0.0,0.0,0.08478109152827215,0.0,0.13079086145937271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371328966268678,0.0,0.0,0.14282635154762854,0.0,0.11006724522952194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22310925068954796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381466516604172,0.17919735029276368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21904551396441474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10889401748368983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06575032421121847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004572428902865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623089741203536,0.2264147600240869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153570355044287
bipolarreddit,TlyTbs,2019/03/15,"Advice, Bear with Me PLS Hi everyone. I have never posted on Reddit, this is my first time and I wish it were something good, but I need help and am too afraid to turn to anyone right now. This is TMI, but its the internet right? 

​

I have been struggling to figure out whether or not I have BP, but my complicated past makes me afraid that I may have BPD so I am just going to lay it out and if anyone out there, help me out. 

​

To start. There is a stigma surrounding BPD and a part of me admits to being afraid of lying to myself so I don't get labeled as a crazy BPD. My mother was BPD, and my father was a psychologist who diagnosed me as BPD by the time I was twelve, but he also intensely hated my mother. I have always been incredibly emotionally sensitive, but cognitively I was one of those kids who were three levels above everyone in class, and three levels behind on the social scale. I dread seeing a therapist after being raised by my father who became obsessive and emotionally abusive over my being BDP. But bear with me pls.

​

I think I've had three episodes. My earliest one was when I was thirteen. I remember being overcome with such intense suffering that I collapsed in the shower. It was like I was catatonic. I literally couldn't get up. That night it was as if the world were silent. I remember laying in bed staring at my hands. They kept moving, but I wasn't understanding that I was inside of them. I remember having the intense realization that I was going to watch these hands age, and that I was inside of a living corpse. I was repulsed by that thought and became fascinated with hands for awhile. 

​

My second episode happened my first year of college. I'll skip the fluff. One day I just stood up mid class and left. Just dropped out of college. I remember sitting there thinking, what am I doing here? My professor was talking, but I wasn't understanding her words. (I went back to college after a period).

​

But what prompted this post was the most recent episode that scared me. I convinced myself that I was losing my mind. I got obsessive over ""sanely questioning my sanity"" and ""being made to make my suffering."" Like my brain just stalled. I was in the middle of a 20 page research paper and I couldn't get my thoughts together to write it. I reread the things I wrote later and realized that I kept repeating the same words over and over. But I was also under an insane amount of stress. I was also convinced that my teachers were correcting my borderline behavior through subliminal therapy (still kind of convinced...?) This ""episode"" lasted for 4 months, but I had decided to quit smoking weed right around the same time. Still, I had been off of weed for awhile when I think I had an audial hallucination. I was on the verge of falling asleep, in that between stage where you're still conscious but your dreams start to engulf you, when this voice in the back of me head detached itself. It took on a presence of its own (idk how to explain) like it floated out of my brain and was talking. It startled me awake. I snapped out of it, but I was really scared for awhile. 

​

I won't lie, a part of my has come to terms with being BPD. I have self mutilated, and I have felt suicidal. I get feeling so intense that I don't know how to relieve my emotions so I will drink and push my limits in risky ways. I have issues maintaining relationships (although that has been improving now that I am consciously working on it). I know dual diagnosis is possible, but a part of me seriously worries if I lie to myself so I don't have to face being BPD, living up to the label put on me by an abusive parent. At the same time I am beginning to string together a family history that may suggest psychosis, although no one in my family is open to talking about it. 

​

If you made it to the end, it on me- BPD, BP, BPBPDP. I feel close to myself right now and am looking for answers in my own way. My mental state is getting is affecting my career, and I find myself in a place where people are tiptoeing around me and I can't stand it (but I understand it, and want to start working on fixing it). ",4.111564823420075,5.8676011747211945,5.090233697335815,81.02681894749072,71.94919454770755,8.116860285006195,27.97492642503098,8.751876143730069,2.216757140644362,3296,124,616,62,64,1078,334,807,0.12300000000000001,0.809,0.067,-0.9949,2,0,2,0,0,0,127.0,0,3,2,7,37,25,1,11,33,0,80,10,8,7,2,119,126,60,1,9,26,5,6,3,0,4,1,1,2,2,48,38,1,3,27,2,0,9,12,16,0,10,48,11,114,9,103,65,12,110,0,3,4,0,31,55,0,9,40,477,162,12,0.0,0.10367742834207966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04275374065199681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496486663571084,0.03640499231351185,0.3318353064432182,0.3721424771502145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061184534587507826,0.0,0.0,0.0778967340792632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728484832839945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4408307608144389,0.09768292948927547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03768829112225943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028216283621383394,0.0,0.0,0.044407143626251054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04286009554236826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14764461726009478,0.0387510977522354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08361341632612537,0.0,0.0,0.08249058341443515,0.0,0.044244436988859964,0.0,0.04200857746293022,0.0,0.039988341398156144,0.07443049666583748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429251662644856,0.0,0.04973029850858097,0.03669692379824424,0.03499230148753271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038689561439133116,0.0,0.0,0.043195832469666746,0.04490195665078038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058651802198288236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04566549936837031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04556075426375462,0.04808967670881415,0.035663546511977916,0.0,0.0,0.04753644543624222,0.0,0.0,0.06412474055974847,0.0,0.07726726035486156,0.0,0.036740482563763485,0.04894705924911473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279799893805916,0.0584093161593441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044091511549397916,0.0,0.04417683342255995,0.0,0.03492225958758626,0.04650122636355007,0.0,0.03244139626011617,0.03374407594615797,0.0,0.0,0.041058089001784766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858937481276888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04858118265189736,0.14213676774727024,0.04176603205158852,0.03033198078107598,0.0,0.04571130613413157,0.0,0.0,0.049323566892204206,0.08380423715927775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043982631041244336,0.049012015377804266,0.04653541181536491,0.0,0.0,0.028028515578811992,0.0,0.04319961217526176,0.0469730464235298,0.19824898660235246,0.14945515082506536,0.0,0.0,0.08760634425270539,0.0,0.03486451029559743,0.0,0.045642656562278096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04459943784659162,0.0,0.033682263750063585,0.0,0.0,0.09290322173436204,0.0,0.10482070270676656,0.0,0.050117525077250036,0.04573886811660398,0.0,0.04785735462606379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10549808918183384,0.0,0.0,0.05003398232966938,0.05079919777840999,0.02906674370952422,0.0841031369641565,0.0,0.06946806474641028,0.10204807718243764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04860984605783413,0.0,0.04758938145977496,0.0,0.13664146219809584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02580593800089511,0.0694562653193541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04055834560013469,0.0,0.0,0.05031239672754143,0.0,0.0,0.06370364516657513,0.04443206425035552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3721424771502145,0.02817471686999237
bipolarreddit,anonymous4379,2019/06/17,"Diagnosis feels like a bomb went off I was just diagnosed two weeks ago. I’ve been pretty sure I’m bipolar 2 for six months and I thought a diagnosis would feel validating. But it feels like a bomb went off. 

About 2.5 weeks before being diagnosed I went out with a friend and took ecstasy. Honestly I think I was just testing my hypothesis that I am bipolar, which I realize is dumb as fuck. Predictably I went hypomanic for 2.5 weeks. It was a great time, made a ton of art, got so much shit done, and it was the calmest hypomania I’ve had so far. It gave me the energy to make a psychiatrist appointment. 

At the time of the appointment I felt completely stable, I think because I was in between hypomania and the crash. She put me on trileptal and I’m supposed to be going up from half a pill to 2 pills over a month. I debated taking it at all for a week. Now I’m on the last day of half a pill. I cant tell if I‘m just really fucking depressed and panicking that this is my diagnosis and I’ll never feel normal, or if it’s a bad reaction to the medication. 

In the past when I’ve been depressed I always had some glimmer of hope that I could get past it and live a happy life one day. Now that I’m diagnosed, I’m not only reliving past memories that were clearly showing symptoms, but I’m realizing that the rest of my life will be a struggle. 

I only know one person with bipolar and we didn’t really talk after high school until recently. He returns my texts weeks late or not at all so I’ve stopped talking to him about this. I feel like no one around me can understand this, and so I don’t want to talk to them about it. One of my friends always sends me shit that could keep r/ wowthanksimcured busy for weeks so haven’t told her. My ex who was my best friend before and after dating met someone new and is treating her 100x better than he treated me. I’m super resentful and I feel I need to take a step back from that friendship because I know I should be happy he’s happy, and happy he’s learned to treat someone right.  I haven’t told him. Honestly i don’t think telling someone will help at all anyway unless they also have bipolar. I know a therapist would be a good option but I’m having a hard time making it to work right now let alone making additional commitments/appointments.

Anyone else feel like their life is crumbling? Have any advice? Thanks for letting me vent 🖤",3.047686335403725,4.769189873706004,4.510554347826087,84.2310489130435,74.6935817805383,7.811366459627329,26.360714285714288,8.548686976883017,1.8392816149068325,1891,69,384,36,40,630,234,483,0.087,0.718,0.195,0.9954,0,1,0,0,0,0,40.0,1,0,3,4,19,34,6,1,27,0,41,19,2,4,6,75,91,31,0,11,13,1,9,4,3,5,15,0,0,1,22,20,0,2,19,2,0,9,10,10,0,8,26,9,47,24,49,51,8,60,0,2,0,2,30,18,5,7,37,242,69,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06432376558766897,0.05835019692932804,0.0,0.0,0.06817520583944008,0.0,0.052640504849806334,0.10954392088664447,0.0,0.0,0.04476349204739277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04602661194528327,0.0674458451334238,0.0,0.05859851309554935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050615627375235166,0.05496141379422741,0.08025303904527385,0.0,0.11202504115935606,0.0,0.06907963878528765,0.05821716867285904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06901662216146656,0.0,0.0,0.10511236392079984,0.0,0.0,0.08490380423974811,0.0,0.11339054689430772,0.20043401958323231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673621823078077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05498862946956228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23298290687786036,0.188102559323084,0.06320265427513543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15256949546263235,0.12170894205818765,0.034391026075333946,0.0,0.037410060676426035,0.05521117657050127,0.05264654189157995,0.07257267557084432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28028921633240106,0.058966579968216325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04412134141203872,0.06954809136566384,0.0,0.06537942047058487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058508591389492375,0.0,0.0,0.10852766487673657,0.05365644200665412,0.0742538566421937,0.0,0.0,0.1346217507340173,0.13948316420428472,0.12863575497668814,0.0,0.05812498587109448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06228553330772753,0.13181678737837715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06631211020644938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050823252069622,0.0,0.04838920275261,0.048808659465798855,0.05076856429477802,0.06357452866892029,0.0,0.0,0.06449486234426469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17841983017896448,0.1001262825999467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18851322112943406,0.0,0.05747615250905067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06696804080310323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06617265310313379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433880349964776,0.0,0.06499458724929058,0.0,0.0,0.11242897043550523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06661876368529121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351375420179308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16732080436961305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05503293612988155,0.0,0.06881494311633596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06203960892891115,0.0684177378353356,0.09898493519202316,0.15872375738337496,0.11506850631350585,0.06060313403293512,0.0,0.07642829937472304,0.0,0.1265346700609074,0.0,0.05225797140125104,0.11514986458352552,0.0,0.0,0.1257978766238006,0.0731343806505212,0.0,0.0,0.06430179755576493,0.06852650590684745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03882549413046432,0.0,0.3168067288287845,0.0,0.0,0.2440830182549075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047921635350326224,0.0,0.0,0.0935208733512939,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,saveyoursermon,2019/06/17,Abilify and benadryl Has anyone had a bad reaction in the form of anxiety from Benadryl while taking abilify? I've been having panic attacks and am wondering if it's the Benadryl or anxiety from the abilify. Thanks!,4.700384615384618,7.699315384615389,6.6689102564102605,64.61567307692309,74.64102564102564,11.079487179487181,37.95512820512821,10.686352973137794,5.8741743589743605,176,11,24,7,4,61,30,39,0.289,0.648,0.063,-0.8588,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,5,8,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,6,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,20,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5161491060619395,0.0,0.0,0.2358854557625843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38378838091485895,0.0,0.0,0.2816761346157679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3958117203887599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536478959081088,0.0,0.0,0.3105898367882117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3658455495451065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,emo_sad_420,2019/06/17,I can’t focus!! At all! I’ve been having such a hard time focusing on basically anything for the longest time now. I recently started lithium and increased my dosage of Abilify at the same time and I feel like my ability to focus has further dwindled. I’m seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow to discuss this because it’s getting in the way of my work and studies. Anyone else feel like this?,3.650444015444013,6.111664932432432,5.435559845559848,74.92121621621625,75.35135135135134,8.012355212355214,34.89575289575289,8.841846274778883,3.6241644787644782,311,18,51,7,7,106,54,74,0.019,0.8390000000000001,0.141,0.8349,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,0,1,7,10,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,7,2,9,9,3,14,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,9,34,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823049613095646,0.26714354300414145,0.21455443525354492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589355218619664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21780225709057105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26366075766683794,0.3725239415883087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362180358943949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335583616809027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547541014090977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574344539610913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20776404506028606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18454247583969013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.456092480425392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20695134558295675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898108835127408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,birdzillla,2019/06/17,"What were your experiences on Invega? I'm researching Invega to help with the occasional paranoid thoughts, I'm also prone to psychosis. I had horrible akathisia on Latuda and quit Latuda because of akathisia.

What did you think of Invega? Did it help, and what were the side effects?

I'm afraid of weight gain, akathisia, and memory loss. I don't care about sexual side effects, no sex for me right now anyway.",4.588342857142855,7.23066292,4.951238095238092,78.64800000000002,73.13333333333333,9.085714285714287,28.04761904761905,9.606745405546679,3.0013619047619047,329,13,57,9,7,104,50,75,0.159,0.735,0.106,-0.5216,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,5,4,3,0,1,2,0,6,2,0,2,0,8,12,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,4,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,1,5,1,10,6,0,6,0,1,0,1,4,5,0,0,1,34,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638124840750831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20109755449264294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33634429312590336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3226951952717325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4422359060516341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3508780503978178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817237985959764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21137984729713852,0.0,0.261895384313348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40171649273805016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,djkeilz,2019/06/17,"Experiences with antidepressants/ how to manage depression I was prescribed pristiq before my diagnosis of BP and that made me very manic which got me my BP diagnosis. I’m on 60mg latuda which has stopped the mania, but I’m still struggling with depression. We put me on 10mg cipralex but that wasn’t working so we increased it to 15 which made my depression worse. My psych has said (and my own research has confirmed) that antidepressants can make bipolar worse. I’ve taken myself off of the cipralex. I’m just wondering what people have found helped them with their depression without making them manic and/or making their depression worse. Seroquel didn’t work for me. I’m not sure if I should keep trying low level antidepressants. I know everybody is different but just curious if anyone has had a hard time managing the depression aspect of their BP and how they have been able to overcome it.",6.483455284552843,8.350191573170733,6.2887804878048765,74.3169918699187,66.1951219512195,9.613008130081301,32.56910569105691,9.928628108626363,3.454883739837399,734,31,121,17,12,230,100,164,0.26899999999999996,0.7,0.031,-0.9935,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,0,6,2,6,9,0,1,4,0,14,1,0,7,1,31,30,11,0,3,9,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,9,8,0,2,3,0,0,2,4,8,0,0,11,2,21,1,14,18,2,10,0,7,0,0,10,5,0,3,3,78,30,6,0.12547885186155866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773773075022663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067732609800522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6484485074543861,0.0,0.0,0.1310986933830979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274239462453056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13758108443846445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035690054495364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11240440470968127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410582942212373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11153136893953744,0.0,0.0,0.06895989542764029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23746224716623715,0.25127432393053034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08699123661993004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261409036123041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193591224882906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10020757318428143,0.1049059387273188,0.0,0.1311777403453216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11826233289830435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731677275946715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519190376583965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10353319399423504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209571354712718,0.1360764622744013,0.18270019720225525,0.0,0.3836210100154437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,espritsoleil,2019/06/17,"Moments like this make me so happy I returned to therapy When I open my wallet and my first thought upon seeing my face on my drivers license is “fuck you”... yeah, that’s not healthy. People always tell me I’m too hard on myself but it took seeing a therapist to realize how sneakily automatic these destructive, hateful thoughts are.",5.053387096774191,7.13441885483871,5.994387096774192,74.17158064516133,70.12903225806451,8.830967741935485,34.980645161290326,9.3871,3.731667096774194,267,14,43,6,5,88,53,62,0.212,0.6990000000000001,0.08900000000000001,-0.8644,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,4,5,3,0,1,1,2,2,1,2,0,9,11,5,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,3,3,10,2,5,8,0,9,0,0,2,1,2,4,1,0,5,30,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20762379715812587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21224482358139055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306807396858488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26562273344966403,0.22352432046134654,0.24635310128687465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12190472863482504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16655907939735318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17298839046195594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3976763379754288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21809480636397996,0.0,0.2853522206176348,0.2897163730872568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3961880628806784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772301318150145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,khasiv,2019/06/17,"Out of meds Through a series of really unfortunate mishaps (international move + bureaucratic slowdowns; thank god I just got a determination for public healthcare), I'm going to be out of medication tomorrow. I'm on two meds and know that discontinuation (especially sudden discontinuation) is going to suck -- but I'd like to know more what others have done when (temporarily) discontinuing lamotrigine/Lamictal and sertraline/Zoloft. I'm really nervous I'm going to have an episode from this and am probably going to spend most of the day tomorrow on the phone hoping an old doctor can send a refill of my prescription, but I'm not too optimistic... :(",11.919469026548677,10.416052451327436,12.542584070796465,45.391575221238966,55.46017699115042,16.119646017699115,43.83893805309735,14.554592549557764,6.797082831858408,529,24,79,20,5,185,77,113,0.062,0.8059999999999999,0.132,0.7919,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,1,7,0,7,2,0,0,0,13,22,6,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,0,1,6,1,2,0,1,2,0,2,3,17,19,2,16,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,2,7,49,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292770927517428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21096836596887736,0.0,0.21092813605074134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4685616823972215,0.0,0.16484972087107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20471960413817772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265518255509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069782145243768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4578966171123843,0.2076400930647479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21906859109924115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162839732766769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222278103750384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26408625744401604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18976383576751546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20134529254373001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cassadyblue,2019/06/11,"NOS i am diagnosed bipolar NOS because apparently i fall somewhere between bipolar one and bipolar two, according to my psychiatrist.

the duration of my symptoms are the main reason she says i remain NOS, because i had ""up"" episodes (often dysphoric/mixed which is why i put ""up"" in quotations) that lasted upwards of ten days and at their longest about two weeks. i guess that's not common for people with bipolar two.

because my meds work quite well, my doctor has never seen me in an episode and obviously doesn't live in my house, so she has never seen the severity of these episodes. and i may have intentionally left things out or not realized the severity of my own condition in hindsight when first meeting with her. she cannot determine if i have mania or hypomania, and this is extremely annoying to me for some reason. i know that's stupid because whatever it may be, the treatment works, but for some reason i care about this.

i don't want to use the word mania if that's not truly what i had/have. i have all the symptoms of which you are only required three of to be diagnosed with bipolar, aside from extremely risky behavior. i also have had extreme paranoid delusions, sometimes i believed i could do magic and manifest things, i thought also i could see my boyfriend from remote locations, and i would become obsessed with universe synchronicity.

i feel these things are too severe to be hypo but not enough to be full mania. maybe i do truly fall somewhere in the middle and cant fully be called one or the other. what is the defining difference in your diagnosis that constitutes full blown mania as opposed to hypomania?",8.495383663366336,8.174402059405947,8.346780115511553,68.95007116336636,61.40924092409241,11.271369636963696,39.39954620462047,10.686352973137794,4.380722937293728,1316,62,218,28,16,425,163,303,0.077,0.902,0.021,-0.9237,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,2,1,5,9,5,2,1,11,0,31,10,0,5,4,50,41,20,0,6,11,0,1,0,0,3,10,1,0,0,18,13,0,2,7,0,0,3,10,3,1,8,5,5,37,2,36,26,8,25,0,0,3,0,10,14,0,11,8,177,55,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17224554180206572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625968012855482,0.11893944867995858,0.0,0.12133414364428285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996751022028553,0.0,0.10980110589651933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17196962800120905,0.0,0.0,0.06945365457672725,0.0,0.0,0.21861407799426852,0.0,0.1125172013824318,0.0,0.11022926744556118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11127658448381024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05445327040229462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160437417572774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11863696958470556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426429842526565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05918574961284553,0.08778490015413729,0.0,0.0,0.11700973471333212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509568451299642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819299505604782,0.0,0.11962364224204293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661203456998992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14595234413638686,0.08190606190167463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746613885820267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082621122152038,0.0,0.11454571626720997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3321817889889652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856425097876709,0.0,0.0,0.08581809311067785,0.0,0.0,0.36499035088848575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651201832737726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22387038946421556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21464112046367825,0.0,0.0,0.08549692506908448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156038678895827,0.0,0.0,0.09301294981675716,0.0,0.0,0.06352065098269431,0.0,0.08638554855769469,0.0,0.0968297473460557,0.0,0.09717699175586184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568048799780524,0.0,0.0,0.07650265487649124,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Juha320kg,2019/06/11,"(Serious) Porn addiction, Self mutilation and depression, hopeless I was very hesitant to make this thread but here goes.  I registered a different name.

About three years ago, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II. I have been diagnosed incorrectly as ADHD before but knew the symptoms were not it as my mood and well being would change often.

Over the years, I have had a strong addiction to pornography stemming from my childhood to now.  I moved around a lot over the years since a child and it became my coping mechanism as I felt that it was the only thing that remained constant and wouldn’t leave me.

Over the years, through masturbation and heavy porn consumption, I have damaged my organ.  It’s badly scarred.  Unfortunately, it hasn’t led me to stop even though I have tried.  I did go for spells without pornography but when a relative died and depression, I went right back to it.

Anyway, I have a huge collection on my computer and I know it’s been holding me back.  I no longer even date or pursue anyone due to this and the injury damage.  I have deleted it in the past.

TL:DR I have an addiction and it’s been exasperated by being Bipolar to the point I no longer pursue relationships and have caused bodily harm to myself.  What should I do?  See a dermatologist?",5.018107928047968,7.058479320675107,5.705116588940707,76.37674217188544,70.13924050632912,9.546435709526982,29.35132134132801,9.93914555978268,3.1067181434599167,1017,40,181,27,19,330,138,237,0.226,0.735,0.04,-0.9932,1,0,0,0,0,1,28.0,0,0,0,1,13,11,0,0,16,0,24,10,0,3,0,32,31,19,1,3,6,0,1,0,0,3,8,0,0,2,15,12,0,2,3,0,0,4,6,8,1,1,12,2,27,2,24,14,1,28,0,5,1,2,4,9,0,3,15,136,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4245021738531525,0.15599389694341312,0.0,0.11505951494142624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09075889925848336,0.0,0.0,0.1155491643195105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199615762781543,0.10837724539846973,0.0,0.0,0.11044990056074908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13333994553735073,0.13731076742066642,0.0,0.0,0.1402672569116011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22359241289971665,0.2634877262303996,0.13471149349230999,0.1356129569791118,0.14876158846294074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714628250515881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462797259648405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376810468304401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133446635188459,0.0,0.0,0.13743903625206005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11035097939436687,0.0,0.0,0.08664224181489752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13795643449372771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987184458245384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390840662439725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12270257821935047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935619571052954,0.0,0.11084815034421304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343347706891068,0.0,0.13540929245447358,0.0,0.0,0.1073715715529414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085182787742064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13491148518757934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623308755685076,0.0,0.12752744930273335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08812540905045321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709826483183256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167054299236172,0.12032553086266146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251221837966618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220591267010783,0.0,0.0,0.3343467505021464
bipolarreddit,jeannesattic,2019/06/11,"Lithium Toxcisity I was misdiagnosed as bi-polar and given lithium for 15 years.  I was tested every 6 months & stayed in the correct range.  One morning I started vomiting & not feeling right.  I saw a Neurologist who referred me to another Neurologist who did some testing.  One test was to draw a simple clock & I couldn't do it.  I had been an art student most of my life & this was shocking to me.  After the blood tests came back she called and told my husband to take me to the nearest hospital. They told me I had Lithium toxicity & wanted to admit me, he refused AMA & took me home. I was in & out of consciousness for several weeks & lost 67 lbs.  Eventually I realized I almost died & had so many more things I still want to do.  If there is anyone out there that has had a similar experience, I would love to have a conversation.",5.141927054980948,5.945780688622758,6.511747414262388,75.41707131192163,68.46107784431138,9.66554164398476,32.547087642896024,9.800150414767053,3.147352095808383,673,29,128,15,11,229,110,167,0.07400000000000001,0.878,0.047,-0.5128,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,1,1,5,3,0,0,8,0,18,4,1,0,1,21,32,5,1,5,2,1,1,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,6,5,0,1,5,1,0,2,2,2,0,2,18,3,22,1,18,12,3,17,0,1,1,1,13,6,0,4,8,86,28,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000955333750489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8765396273661256,0.0,0.0,0.09425509722665007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06285157404992649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911809750063712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178539790536136,0.10280758934099556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328924742128478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07573426915583105,0.0,0.0,0.08792742459650467,0.0,0.0,0.04544992499248995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09016469814435576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349034506476099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812304943225987,0.0,0.08112716414305353,0.0,0.0,0.09113202548178677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07174750937496137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218204718370291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07676360981213066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154752229638488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06362298097800878,0.09580833468886912,0.07178443814879522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675843682720402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05971739776941595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17178311033068716,0.09986854879773087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10603619585412204,0.0,0.07210249583497698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385364735992702,0.0,0.0,0.05788473559956085
bipolarreddit,bipolar98,2019/06/11,"Delusions and false memories So I recently had a psychotic break for the first time, and I’m so confused by what happened to me. Has anyone ever had a delusion so intense that your brain actually begins to give you memories that really didn’t happen? Like for example - my ex boyfriend was really abusive but in my psychosis I started to think he wanted me to kill people with him, to the point that I have what I believe are false memories of him telling me to do it. 

Has anyone ever experienced anything like this? I’m kind of concerned and wondering if anyone has ever had anything like that happen. I",5.58045652173913,6.887453773913047,6.638858695652175,73.06872282608698,67.78260869565217,9.57608695652174,34.375,9.827888789773867,3.670152173913044,484,23,81,11,8,162,71,115,0.098,0.821,0.08199999999999999,-0.5993,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,1,6,6,1,1,4,0,11,1,1,0,3,13,22,8,1,2,2,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,5,1,14,4,13,17,0,11,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,3,11,62,22,0,0.0,0.1873085286741776,0.1542711654122817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3316165919949516,0.0,0.26018604615433544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781111347168902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17647858450780513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4289991678205639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13446964341136014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15165249522520874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4193903115132681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749010421440506,0.16462441213862494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23170155737716885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959837223452508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14944433787592318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20255054925422847,0.0,0.15609291096891914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118955594637786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13817595334845845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10129646085010137,0.0,0.0,0.0921824330364553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09324444780895212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17143978341021007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AgreeableRogue,2019/06/11,"What's up with health care? Is this an American thing? I'm probably very late to the party, but I keep noticing people saying they can't access health care because they have no insurance even when it's something that would (should!) be classified as an emergency in my home country (Australia). Here, we have a pretty strong public health care system where emergencies (mental health crises, ambo trips, emergency health care) is covered by the taxpayers and administered by the government, but it seems like a lot of these things aren't covered elsewhere - is that right?? What happens to the people who can't afford healthcare??",8.093142857142855,9.363683690909095,6.8440259740259775,73.98318181818183,62.09090909090909,9.922077922077923,33.896103896103895,9.957137785484203,3.521246753246753,506,20,79,10,7,152,80,110,0.076,0.72,0.204,0.9531,1,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,2,1,4,6,0,0,8,0,11,5,0,0,0,10,19,5,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,2,5,1,1,0,11,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,5,6,9,16,1,8,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,2,3,53,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700634593561533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5151856780211791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08343625271264331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11170848791699547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6713860815825391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12671394324702698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228317039067064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14249972934773472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06171585254133285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10739671647269187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12730555483051098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14382147333493364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751552399430499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12851760327244247,0.1361993594088538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788057740289957,0.0,0.10045844737205732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500123455801235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725090213442693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16784899428596592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042310820074945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973742067796148,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,august401,2019/06/11,how do i know if i'm bipolar i really strongly feel like i'm bipolar and i know it's bad to self diagnose but i can't go to a doctor,-3.286363636363636,-1.7532856969696984,1.6446060606060615,95.02690909090909,102.93939393939394,5.0642424242424235,18.72121212121212,6.742157984588678,0.2979139393939394,104,4,27,2,5,41,24,33,0.084,0.7829999999999999,0.133,0.0845,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,1,0,7,8,4,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,2,2,8,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,14,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199682382419541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3889548181924437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3922364476444975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19376484884805775,0.27376863312116645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177897252056834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4212095157174894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872193283132827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24549712705944765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3997764714257927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PM_ME_FREE_ADVICE,2019/06/11,"Stuck in a weird complacency, even though I've been slowly destroying my life. What is it? Recently, I got money to pay off my student loan, but I totally forgot it was for it and spent it all. I've quit 2-3 jobs in the last year after working for less than 2 weeks. I'm upset for maybe a day or less and then, welp, I'm all good!

​

It's starting to become an issue for me. I'm lucky to have insurance now, but I won't next year. For some reason, I don't feel at all worried about that (or anything else really). I'm just kind of ""it'll figure itself out."" But if I type out what I did, I (mentally acknowledge) the things in my life that are going to shit.

​

I've burned through all my savings thanks to impulsive spending. But for some reason I feel like, ""it's okay! It'll all work out!"" and as time has gone on these last few years, they really haven't. I'm worried, but I don't feel it.

​

My therapist thinks I may have been misdiagnosed, or that something is off with the meds, since, as she says, I've been stuck in a loop for a while (spend money > get stressed about money  > try to get job > get stressed > kind of give up/find something new to get excited about for 2 weeks).

  
I suppose I'm typing this since I'm not really sure if it is meds or just me having no self-control or discipline. I started Wellbutrin two months ago, and have been taking Abilify for 4 years, and Lamictal for two - all on fairly low, if not the lowest, doses. I feel good, kinda, but I can't seem to ever find the time to get my life in order. I'm always working on some fun project (like music, or a video game! or maybe video editing, etc...)

​

IDK. Does anyone have any input re: what is meds vs. what is ""me""? How can you tell?",2.8347015610651987,3.898099559228652,4.151404958677689,89.24508723599634,74.06887052341598,7.251056014692378,23.912764003673097,7.662118739084242,0.9433794306703399,1352,38,299,17,27,446,182,363,0.114,0.8009999999999999,0.085,-0.7506,3,0,2,0,0,0,93.0,0,1,1,4,10,20,2,3,11,1,27,5,1,3,9,60,58,27,0,3,21,0,4,2,0,4,4,1,0,0,21,9,0,2,11,3,8,2,8,7,0,2,12,5,26,13,44,42,14,41,0,1,0,0,7,15,1,17,25,176,47,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469360832765761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06072637185012239,0.31630126892696225,0.3547215605412911,0.04962985515541076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051030292313214536,0.0,0.06005747440681766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060222328154859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185484668637974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04706696588930976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386651561772387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06096659556585871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139355360901353,0.048203526897745236,0.06601585525112215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14760635627919647,0.052137927285045564,0.0,0.0,0.133407356249477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19064884850334093,0.07001040974592057,0.04147701190873226,0.1224266727561253,0.058369893165306816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07617362122985365,0.14484555807809352,0.0,0.0,0.1519977964212302,0.0,0.11897916463378527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15464676501886598,0.07131005195641102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14663925286003918,0.0,0.2431976512945593,0.0,0.07354808655704438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05825305780315077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048589162953374,0.07761654766379524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07762470316604285,0.0,0.0,0.14026126236654826,0.1500740700320419,0.07206032870833355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058037739142986475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664395262618385,0.07613551764436431,0.0,0.07491435910883966,0.12074193775468653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11236929570679242,0.0,0.0,0.10331322218173382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16719989598345994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878410651654072,0.0,0.05487293072384377,0.0,0.06378896104935794,0.06719146845903183,0.0,0.08473703132289037,0.04848559977093152,0.04676353474695975,0.07170385569951522,0.0,0.08511208336762449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04954958049081763,0.0,0.14258444785971672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708255503826992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15939398687187284,0.14823231014578034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3547215605412911,0.1879905171999224
bipolarreddit,ImpartialExhaustion,2019/06/11,"When I was in a mixed episode, I disliked and was paranoid about my boyfriend. I told everyone in my life, and I dumped him. Now we're back together... I have no idea how I'm going to handle the aftermath of this. When I was manic and depressed, I told everyone close to me of all the wrongs he'd done to me over the years, greatly exaggerated. The worst part is I told my parents, who already didn't like him, way too much stuff. I forgot all his good traits and fixated on the bad times. When I was depressed I convinced myself I was too fucked up to love and that he'd be better off without me and that I needed to leave. I straight ignored him for a week while I was having paranoid delusions that he was tracking my phone and would come murder me if I answered. And then I dumped him over a text. 5 year relationship ended by a fucking text. Even still he wanted to remain cordial. Today I secretly defied my parents and went to see him. He is hurt and pissed but willing to give me another chance and take it slow. Now I have to tell all my friends that what I told them before was inaccurate. And the worst part will be telling my parents. They are such controlling and angry people. My dad said he'd lose so much respect for me if I stayed with this guy. I am so fucking nervous. Fuck mixed episodes. Fuck bipolar. Fuck this shit. I don't even know what to do about this.",2.625623501199044,4.4451839784172655,3.528938848920862,90.39302458033579,76.12230215827337,6.216067146282972,25.971822541966425,6.996647511020387,1.023459952038369,1078,40,227,11,24,344,153,278,0.247,0.684,0.069,-0.9944,3,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,2,3,17,29,11,1,10,0,27,11,2,2,3,34,50,24,1,5,4,4,0,1,1,3,2,1,0,1,13,16,0,3,4,0,0,3,4,21,0,0,17,2,49,8,26,25,9,31,0,4,1,7,33,9,8,2,18,165,62,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450195195304048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929944637847772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07281716340542195,0.07906914241283128,0.0,0.0,0.08058129623807761,0.0,0.0,0.08375296927222753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157421830621403,0.0,0.0,0.10621221926826242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16312705008320774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690926085119314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387460438022587,0.0,0.0,0.12509469568694004,0.0,0.0,0.18097660768405802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316368782987727,0.5252824304271052,0.0,0.09084325842652784,0.05381923809986972,0.07942845865241271,0.0,0.10440523312364246,0.0,0.09376622615502696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137651113716854,0.1069028775942204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05204372060004511,0.0,0.0,0.1002718484912688,0.0,0.0,0.06688822462459576,0.04626481620229942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594319821193064,0.0,0.0,0.08546893189542379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13922832400251467,0.0702176050406835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154538357574396,0.20509810653469174,0.0,0.06565189209213061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167055680584616,0.0,0.0,0.09007978888780806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546230113661383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720646556819472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009358100832626,0.07562620140982676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840692107332728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712013519769117,0.0,0.16554101295498272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05521935246947917,0.0,0.08976293544374765,0.36195321536811603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05585552322478028,0.075167119298611,0.07596128092365209,0.0,0.0,0.08778629223043198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128580204495944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727097015072117,0.10353774792949452,0.0,0.1219652277261831
bipolarreddit,Chilly73,2019/01/12,"I failed at overdosing for a second time. I overdosed on Clonanzepam last night, but as you can see, I'm still here. I'm sick, tired, and in pain. I just want this to be over.",0.1255405405405412,2.13625175675676,1.4120945945945955,101.41381756756759,85.48648648648648,4.781081081081081,17.35810810810811,5.985473137389443,-0.6702918918918916,133,3,33,1,4,42,32,37,0.35200000000000004,0.614,0.034,-0.9377,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,4,6,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,4,0,7,5,0,8,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,4,21,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33391879506502725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3844280490316342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4358956598233444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3264373963629245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3271464017556164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238869758508298,0.4708315244682974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.241621727662098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,redviolentreddd,2019/01/12,"Approaching Mania? How does your mania appear? Does it come on suddenly? Or can you feel it creeping up? At what point do you alert your psychiatrist if it’s creeping up?

",1.6403125000000005,4.381804906250004,3.131,84.01400000000002,93.6875,6.3100000000000005,22.025,7.554174236665415,1.583205,135,5,24,3,5,44,24,32,0.0,0.905,0.095,0.4871,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,6,5,3,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,4,5,0,9,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,3,1,17,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38699687092693696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7862992025973767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22715886235154845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4246949930746057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MixedMania,2019/01/12,"Bipolar Meds & Sleepiness Temporary? Just wanting to hear people's experiences. What meds are you on & did they make you sleepy at first? Did the sleepiness wear off over time as your body grew accustomed to the med? How long did it take?

I'm on Lamictal (300 mg) and struggle to stay awake for even 12 hours at a time. I've been on this dose for over a month and the sleepiness is intense. I'm just wondering if it'll get better over time.",2.7078932584269686,4.728740505617981,3.200435393258428,91.93188904494384,76.52808988764046,6.6971910112359545,24.608146067415728,7.645422480735847,1.0653247191011237,351,12,75,5,8,109,63,89,0.027000000000000003,0.914,0.06,0.4329,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,1,2,4,2,0,1,5,0,7,4,2,2,0,9,15,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,4,1,4,1,15,10,0,18,0,0,0,0,5,9,0,2,7,42,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3820565141173419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15592896609891949,0.0,0.19583702000381886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644892552717935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17246180240498055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499664056507408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09211298421504716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19871048660481927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17362660455112766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15602589882341872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768610439697658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5875110600114565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14072634154425082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12222888030500376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18791950476983293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18431406364989855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13256071151959312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084175981115769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399027118722394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911971166973339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rsvpbyfriday,2019/02/04,"I fucked up. I just sliced my leg. About a 4"" wide 1/4"" deep. I don't know why I did it. I'm scared about what's happening to me. I'm ruining my life. ",-3.907499999999999,-2.602476749999996,-0.13888888888888928,106.745,108.16666666666669,4.622222222222223,11.555555555555555,6.42735559955562,-1.1645777777777782,111,2,34,2,6,40,28,36,0.27899999999999997,0.721,0.0,-0.8519,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,1,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,2,7,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,7,0,4,6,0,3,0,1,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,17,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4482212542149138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4287371372709726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664521069443985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3424526182122785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4854034504987892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4374873068135995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,itmaywork,2019/04/12,"Fucking thrilled with myself Last year I royally fucked up my life.

Got my car repossessed. Lost my apartment, thankfully eviction free. Still have last months rent in collections. You can guess how that haunts me now. Oh and I stopped going to school during my last semester of undergrad. I fully believed I could start a business with no job to sustain my income. Only deliveries for various on demand services. 

Yippee! 

Got accepted to finish undergrad in the fall today. Cool. But I can't escape the feeling of how much I fucked up and how I'm still struggling to get some things right. Even though I'm correctly medicated now, I still keep fucking up. Still doing delivery driving with different car. Can't bring in enough to pay even the smallest of bills. 

I'm just trying to piece shit together one day at a time, but swear I'm one snarky reminder about a bill away from blowing up. 

2018 is continually haunting me right now and I'm overwhelmed. Just want to find a regular job...",3.6671009490940487,6.445995278688525,4.2220534943917185,81.947471958585,77.08743169398906,7.568478573482888,28.757262007477713,8.532816995589336,2.54764043715847,788,35,138,17,19,249,119,183,0.14800000000000002,0.7859999999999999,0.066,-0.8702,7,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,1,16,13,5,2,7,1,7,7,1,3,1,23,28,9,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,2,6,0,2,3,0,5,6,3,8,0,2,3,2,16,6,26,24,5,38,0,2,0,4,1,13,5,2,19,86,18,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11612524101363128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392536419650994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868366927597334,0.0,0.0,0.0797110694245295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129134550305638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277107101875342,0.0,0.16327182372832974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062495320712531985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11296716109504196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4570607885880529,0.06457532713919019,0.0,0.07024410673835088,0.0,0.19770667254584634,0.0,0.13615812985672654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24530568558318755,0.10986038686817486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022488152678095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08730156271164806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13492280668392714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451289474444445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986554677362947,0.0,0.09085941753844724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16750763522855308,0.09400253775446248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21110558114467645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508869171750386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12687250106289835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748394197713172,0.0,0.3948249846413751,0.10333421998612913,0.0,0.12921241297273536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137932668035109,0.0,0.0,0.08211362122894965,0.0,0.12143529780764298,0.0,0.07207151616845546,0.0,0.11715731104847382,0.0,0.0,0.08391554407285376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290183722124079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959364325138986
bipolarreddit,psychedelic666,2019/04/12,"DAE feel like you’re wasting your life when depressed and then have to “make up for lost time” when manic and do EVERYTHING? I constantly worry I’m wasting my time/youth doing the wrong thing or nothing at all. I just got out of a ~3 month episode where I barely left bed or talked to anyone. I’m better now but I have so much boundless energy/drive that I don’t know where to direct it. 

I know this is irrational thinking — I’m about to graduate from college and I’m on track to grad school. I do things with friends. I travel. But I worry I’m going to look back at my early twenties and be like “you spent your youth doing THAT?” 

Then when I’m manic I kinda go off the rails and do things I didn’t even want to do but felt compelled to. It’s wack. Anyone else feel this way sometimes?",2.11836236933798,3.758746585365856,3.296864111498259,92.29012195121956,77.04878048780488,5.905226480836237,21.470383275261323,6.5431188927421005,0.26710418118466883,616,16,134,5,14,199,100,164,0.12,0.7929999999999999,0.087,-0.6298,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,0,2,11,7,0,0,3,0,12,1,0,2,1,24,32,16,0,1,6,0,3,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,9,7,0,0,6,1,1,3,2,3,0,0,5,4,16,4,19,26,2,25,0,2,1,0,5,9,0,3,14,83,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324721818445399,0.17032844817206627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12782523885681069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14702225136927624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17964208205478316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431788411256647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388688644368068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979732392811477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14940221653313446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681078538984845,0.11875904647392956,0.1596126492557592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12843353730259194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889515230607066,0.0,0.13295413178201332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18271793916659326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18061592299753204,0.0,0.11741741767312965,0.16242904571273173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13959638985900266,0.0,0.1814662539130456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110963834726812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268800581716186,0.0,0.12220260264855165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15950794536637242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682397279656007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644116752136977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13361421660923092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3313194768003735,0.10651732981131223,0.0,0.0,0.19386712112446894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980503120937014,0.13195041565994187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3376414968185724,0.0,0.0,0.1817529925753526,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ChalkdustBowie,2019/04/12,"I swore to myself I would never get into another relationship after this wretched illness destroyed my marriage, and literally eliminated each of my friendships like a world class sniper. Found someone finally.... And then I’m told today that all too familiar, “I deserve better, you are not emotionally available, I’m very needy and you’re not here even when you’re here.”  Pink slipped back into absolute loneliness.  Fuck.",5.442499999999999,8.841012694444448,5.783888888888893,69.62500000000003,74.83333333333334,8.6,34.0,9.188382445141503,4.1110500000000005,342,18,48,9,8,109,58,72,0.18899999999999997,0.71,0.10099999999999999,-0.7841,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,6,4,2,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,12,8,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,1,7,2,5,5,2,10,0,0,1,1,4,3,1,0,8,32,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28639350512920697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100148935549857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415552886712853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3072268556560779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803953077155286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991931320318157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994655080694042,0.0,0.2524980113508022,0.1426956071672013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343420693236474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21064946103036852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932321195536439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23141641387228856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588888724962065,0.26098093650733856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22535525626997904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19401889574968484,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sparklerose01,2019/04/12,"Bipolar or just depressed? I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was 17 (I'm 22 now) and used to have rapid cycling. In the past two months I lost my insurance and ran out of medication for a little more than a month, but I haven't noticed a difference between taking my medication or not. It seems like the pills didn't make a difference like they weren't working. The only thing I've noticed is being maybe a little more cranky and annoyed. Am I not bipolar anymore? 

Sorry for rambling it was a little hard to get all the words out.",3.946132075471698,5.3746571509433965,5.051084905660378,82.44851415094342,71.83018867924528,7.564150943396226,30.23113207547169,8.07648339933343,2.1393622641509435,422,18,81,6,8,139,69,106,0.146,0.84,0.013000000000000001,-0.9024,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,2,3,5,1,0,10,0,10,7,0,2,1,17,18,7,0,0,6,0,1,2,0,0,7,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,3,0,1,7,1,8,2,11,10,3,12,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,3,7,57,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15791514388164535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13714610311206651,0.1616169099913324,0.0,0.33272664917357897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319203562275601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14264040306684306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15558521410409587,0.4787762408391144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17382030315971006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628845295511898,0.0,0.15996973025794234,0.0,0.0,0.3208185427460521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541945832843181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36257288525012266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211029477658296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520047562524693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14495863675350346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782469468302896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197224856939809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578652257800918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15554631668007007,0.0,0.0,0.13752513723253698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592263593508825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jaydenh,2019/04/12,"Lithium and mood stabilisation. Hey guys, I have been diagnosed with bipolar affectivw disorder and put on lithium, for 2 weeks no, i'm on 500mg and it pretty much has no effect, also on latuda(anti-psychotic, 1 month) 40mg and seroquel IR (3 months) 200mg (sleep).  


It almost feels like my hypomania can't be stopped with this combo.  
Wouldn't a significant amount of my dopamine be blocked at this point?  
How can I be constantly hypomanic for 6 days and be on lithium, my friend tried 250mg and was FLOORED.  
He said he felt extremely dedated and drunk, clurring his words etc and sleeping for like 12-14 hours, I'm lucky to get 7 hours sleep myself..  


I understand i'm tolerant to seroquel and probably getting used to latuda but this is rediculous, I've had serious arguments with rind, coworkers and family due to my expansive mindset and irritability/rages. (usually at retards at work, or stupid people in public, Iwould like to believe its justified, since theyre retards, but even that sound slike a hypomanic thing to say.  


Anyway, send your xperiences to this space, I'm keen to get an idea of how other people xperience such combinations, especially the lithium side of things, thanks for taking the time to read this :)",6.563733333333335,7.8105956844444515,6.989777777777778,71.66600000000003,65.48888888888888,10.977777777777774,35.444444444444436,10.93419730881044,4.236511111111112,979,46,169,28,15,319,152,225,0.084,0.784,0.132,0.9024,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,1,0,2,6,10,1,0,5,0,13,6,3,4,0,31,27,17,0,1,3,0,2,3,1,1,2,3,0,1,12,14,1,2,5,2,0,2,4,2,0,0,5,5,10,7,27,17,3,25,0,0,0,0,11,12,0,3,14,91,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13797168306872046,0.0,0.0,0.11018654170267804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15523640889333207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488965373131803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885986744685863,0.0,0.0,0.1398487819753782,0.0,0.0,0.15791344248857453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15366659499010654,0.0910056327122968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12989134937433267,0.0,0.06966818980922597,0.09843356630207983,0.13229511990580334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645227866712946,0.0,0.2159607837914731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364287221200446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713807608156101,0.0,0.0,0.15554239067936648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20194423981070256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199571991504925,0.0,0.1012877616252463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910454139016717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025127473459475,0.0,0.0,0.14017678671113515,0.14855543573727664,0.0,0.0,0.13851188968511813,0.0,0.0,0.13782219524760694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106500059508036,0.1095720896751598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11397710030205264,0.0,0.4136532459232047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11519435326840945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359710379480594,0.0,0.0,0.1268538319395993,0.0,0.0,0.18307634185975769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034348829664922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354690856462336,0.0,0.0,0.14343894919676933,0.0,0.11900192210084015,0.15175061082171892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052274269715806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100309054539941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tortillasalami,2019/04/12,"Good Vibes Request On the job hunt again. Totally scared shit-less because of my inability to stay stable in previous positions, but I have to keep at it, right? Thank you!",2.5874999999999986,5.490152750000004,3.7550000000000026,82.39000000000001,84.0,8.200000000000001,26.75,8.841846274778883,2.758537500000001,136,6,25,4,4,44,31,32,0.11,0.6940000000000001,0.19699999999999998,0.4846,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,6,3,1,6,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,15,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22084690818316915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038693060800244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3595141338982605,0.3220175002527268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3093912804584377,0.0,0.0,0.362712678351952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3718825939700124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3861499403236181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3335453694117048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,S-Fleur-44,2019/04/12,"Tips for not pushing people away during episodes?? Currently experiencing a mixed episode and rapid cycling (the worst kind of episode, in my opinion) and I keep scaring people away or pushing them away because I'm convinced I'll scare them away. Anyone have any advice? I feel so lost. A visit to my psych is definitely needed, but that doesn't help in the meantime.",4.821094527363184,7.350726059701492,4.791865671641791,80.59635572139305,71.98507462686567,6.257711442786071,32.062189054726375,7.1686216300943375,2.177141293532338,294,14,49,3,6,91,52,67,0.175,0.7709999999999999,0.054000000000000006,-0.8086,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,1,3,6,0,2,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,9,8,5,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,4,0,0,1,2,6,2,9,7,1,10,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,2,1,30,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892761634021338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13171899931238884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543579801043398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7279299725453334,0.0,0.0,0.11807445656417725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09793783137368288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129829436295118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17216469842973872,0.0,0.2017031641498747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21144058369196755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362212348865747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685669540525307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3878442558935296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,netvoyer,2019/04/12,"I somehow nailed my phone interview so well they offered me three bucks more than the starting rate. I’m very happy about it because it’s something I can be proud of, make decent money and keep work at part time which suits my needs perfectly. For two days I’ve just been smiling and laughing and crying haha. Anyway wanted to share.",3.626458333333332,6.0472645625000006,3.6887500000000015,87.61458333333336,75.25,5.5166666666666675,24.729166666666664,6.42735559955562,0.8845604166666665,268,9,48,2,6,82,57,64,0.039,0.637,0.324,0.9696,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,3,6,7,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,1,10,9,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,6,7,6,7,2,4,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,3,31,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18514624294583631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3336245909936014,0.19587570207690308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233179450867966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699622594904227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027369366579679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252061736432788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3289015608507136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23382019929028697,0.0,0.0,0.21497614671259788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17710286577711926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29669247105763635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506026353724397,0.17914323131653215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730827464577104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22111338951109247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,otvey,2019/10/07,"I need help I’m 18, male, and have a family history of BPD. My older sister had it when I was younger, she was properly diagnosed and medicated. I saw the effect her condition had on my mom and it was devastating to watch. I don’t know if I’m bipolar, my ex was the first one to really bring it to my attention. I feel like I’m ignoring the fact that I might be bipolar with the excuse it’s shitty for me to self diagnose, if that makes sense. I don’t know if I feel real highs or lows? Most of the time I feel neutral or really fucking happy. It’s a huge rush of pure enjoyment, I feel like I’m the coolest person in the world. In fact, I tell myself that repeatedly in my head. I call my friends and family repeatedly throughout the day to talk even though I know I’m annoying them. I love who I am when I’m like that. But after a few days of that I go back into my state of total neutrality. I’m not pessimistic, I just don’t enjoy anything. I lay in my bed and switch between Netflix shows every few minutes. I also ignore friend’s texts and calls intentionally but for no reason. I just don’t want to text them. I feel like small things in my life also have a huge effect on my mood. My crush talking to me can make me feel a total surge of happiness but then failing a test can push me back down into neutrality. And it happens so fucking quick. I haven’t noticed any real consequences on my quality or quantity of work. Is this something I need to be getting help for? Or am I just an average, paranoid bitch?",2.1368571428571417,3.801249098412701,4.4311111111111146,84.07333333333334,77.06349206349206,7.841269841269841,25.0,8.626192665926032,1.7454761904761908,1186,42,250,25,27,413,161,315,0.092,0.778,0.13,0.8252,0,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,2,5,14,20,4,0,15,0,21,10,1,6,5,54,50,24,0,6,14,3,6,4,2,1,6,0,1,3,14,10,0,2,13,2,0,4,7,8,0,2,7,8,45,11,32,40,5,36,0,2,2,3,22,17,3,9,18,167,59,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725622133197402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337018599705834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878583372737055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659244096035668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13588606042148538,0.0,0.2203393685356452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916268870026596,0.0,0.0,0.21901599755131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07126157678935305,0.0,0.0909035719358671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20342174636539773,0.0,0.3273202928148785,0.23123396655659065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177278780137142,0.0,0.0,0.16671401548564213,0.19948863030748595,0.0563690602401048,0.0,0.061317448314457075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954084433433959,0.2297058495068391,0.0,0.0,0.11072820750018787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446353212306877,0.11399370705566683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17788368587066838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620723371545414,0.21084211344636025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737664446799714,0.0,0.14403735075370094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10868972989313508,0.0,0.11445624687733058,0.0,0.126361679350199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16000094092218278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283563358619315,0.0,0.0,0.07311033795092763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420703808182808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456091861577457,0.13823661686150615,0.11093083384090872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125547731916022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08306044920490736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734388310462249,0.09430226870690868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716785785941255,0.0,0.10600323561101722,0.0,0.0629126295827899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363743299481439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854658200513269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,poeticwhining,2019/10/07,Does anyone else here grind their teeth during mania/hypomania/mixed episodes? I noticed I grind my teeth a lot when I’m mixed or manic. Usually towards the end of mania when I’m super agitated.,4.722342342342344,6.749865378378381,6.122702702702704,73.13288288288291,70.89189189189189,8.176576576576577,28.54954954954956,8.841846274778883,2.5614576576576584,157,6,26,3,3,53,28,37,0.086,0.802,0.11199999999999999,0.2263,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,2,2,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,4,13,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26392641059001914,0.38674886251537455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3303147887223116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3153165307153003,0.0,0.3343144866630596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3209000785003032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.429736807595461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4157150860487385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,vronh88,2019/10/07,"Adhd and bipolar? Anyone here adhd and bipolar? Started a new pill today, strategies. and it's for adhd. Already on abilify for bipolar! So confused and curious!?",2.4347619047619027,4.738383428571432,4.772857142857145,69.15547619047621,107.57142857142858,4.723809523809524,36.80952380952381,6.42735559955562,3.821338095238096,128,9,14,2,6,44,20,28,0.129,0.871,0.0,-0.5743,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,11,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8734673029423778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673457427598127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16939750530129918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339813012963829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17147660055332065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296391426190161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,meowmeowfantastic,2019/10/07,"I am sad I don’t really have anything interesting to say, just feeling very alone and insecure and I’m just not really sure what to do with it.

I have maybe 5 friends but in the end I don’t really feel like anyone cares about me that much. If I moved away I don’t feel like I would be missed.",0.7563020833333312,2.464230359375001,2.9512500000000017,92.90208333333337,81.34375,7.3916666666666675,18.479166666666664,8.344100000000001,0.5722166666666668,229,5,56,5,6,78,44,64,0.149,0.605,0.245,0.8176,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,9,0,1,1,0,9,0,0,0,1,13,15,4,0,2,5,0,3,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,0,4,8,6,6,13,1,4,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,35,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320620462959828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15667029707616187,0.0,0.1843850374049993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21051488366564225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22844750819216206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984536137375364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3398794711969987,0.32014178976467084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17311078068854968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189320601174445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251017412128318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23814387076405766,0.16471233597516494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4306221392651933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17818416123016909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21117704629087908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848757213301736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15916816806098666,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Throwaway1950776,2019/10/07,"Tapering of Lexapro I’m down to 10mg of Lexapro from my peak 30mg. Has anyone gone from 10mg to Zero? 

I’m thinking about stopping after 10mg.

I went from 30mg to 20mg and 20mg to 10mg.",-1.9832608695652143,-0.4824997608695654,1.5936521739130465,100.02308695652177,90.08695652173913,4.5495652173913035,20.069565217391304,5.6839178017228535,-0.3498034782608697,145,5,40,1,5,53,24,46,0.045,0.955,0.0,-0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,0,12,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,17,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4460075336893449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5332807060435187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4087158402125499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5913039238948302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TrashPandaConfused,2019/10/07,"Mood Worse after Going Down on Dose Hey guys. I've been on Lamactil for a year and went down to 75mg while on 100mg of Zoloft for other stuff. I went down to 50mg yesterday and today I want to hurt somebody. Has anybody experienced extreme anger from going down on this med? My psych isn't sure if I'm quite bipolar but is concerned about my moods. I manifest my ""highs"" with extreme aggression",3.723416666666669,5.058565175000002,4.507500000000004,86.4941666666667,72.25,7.333333333333335,27.083333333333336,7.793537801064563,1.4892083333333337,314,11,64,4,6,101,58,80,0.14300000000000002,0.8420000000000001,0.015,-0.8285,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,1,6,2,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,1,7,10,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,3,0,0,3,1,6,1,18,7,0,18,0,1,0,0,2,9,0,1,5,37,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912030438912735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536733279266498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706840825210409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27426204517648617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.284574888856584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724949170982741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932819797342167,0.0,0.0,0.24146075461069125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24284290295349306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511104481915279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4749906615547671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610845913282692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16498117967059645
bipolarreddit,DownTheRabbitHole298,2018/11/24,"How do I get over the bad things my dad taught me as a kid? *Trigger warning*
It negatively affects my relationships and my bp so horribly.
My dad molested  my sister and I have vague memories of him touching me as well. He would say “never let another man do this to you” when I was three he told me that all men are pigs, dogs and the scum of the earth and that women are *****.

Now I’m in a loving relationship I always take out my fears and deeply rooted beliefs on my loving partner. He’s never done anything to hurt me yet I feel like he’s out to do something horrible, and that all women are out to destroy my relationship. Also as I get older men objectify me a lot more which makes it harder to get rid of the belief about men..

I know in my heart none of this is true but it’s stuck deep in my soul. I trust nobody. I’ve been looking for a therapist and it’s hard to find but for the time being I really need some advice to not wreck my relationship. ",0.7019735038830497,2.9112009447236176,3.1769232526267714,88.39657720420286,84.77889447236181,6.231247144814984,20.100730927364094,7.520522993642371,0.7061939698492461,744,22,160,13,22,257,118,199,0.10300000000000001,0.81,0.087,-0.032,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,0,8,11,2,1,9,0,14,3,1,5,5,32,29,16,0,2,3,3,3,1,1,1,0,1,0,8,11,10,0,0,5,0,0,0,5,5,1,1,6,5,27,6,25,20,6,16,3,1,1,2,25,9,0,2,8,113,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394115110773139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11408990530851347,0.11870949563211244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14959768343907429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740191746293925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11912010557832828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459967951067414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605388525133328,0.07213618882601658,0.10192058018198626,0.0,0.0,0.13039408984514395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236112050744458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12780066498479714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690598326768793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15272684566087324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840547277214872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14588559548899202,0.0,0.06969937478018641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980346313123708,0.0,0.0,0.12128948533244893,0.2575231722608808,0.0,0.09523062663741932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578499109339297,0.2200655449474365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139545804663324,0.0,0.0,0.6126793381765301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11345368628799693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983121510051272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726703624185334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656461590448624,0.09478091509292344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318966028223737,0.0,0.0,0.13632342502196074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128273818761053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013457946068488,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lilveggiedelight,2018/11/24,How do you distinguish your mania and depression from regular feelings? What makes mania different than simply being in a good mood or depression different from being in a bad mood? ,8.958387096774192,10.5515585483871,9.106612903225805,57.37991935483874,60.29032258064517,13.94193548387097,38.08064516129032,13.023866798666859,6.3862774193548395,149,7,19,6,2,49,23,31,0.28800000000000003,0.638,0.07400000000000001,-0.8541,2,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,2,0,6,5,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,1,5,3,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,16,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27181981804644995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5607897558893471,0.0,0.0,0.6802588339512032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646073568022383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730550568751983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21730648641854566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,erreavecmoi,2018/11/24,"Newfound Anger, Lost in BPD I was diagnosed with Bipolar Depression, DID, PTSD, and psychosis several weeks ago while inpatient. They put me on lithium, and I became a whole new person within two days of starting it. I was on it for a couple weeks and felt normal finally, but my psychiatrist wants me to exhaust other options because of lithium's side effects. I just need to air this out and get some sort of relief and advice. Ever since changing my meds off lithium, I've become angrier and more irritable, and my mania is feeding that. I've never felt anger like this before, not once. It even feels that my BPD symptoms are getting worse: impulsive, constant mania, horrible lows more than before I was diagnosed. I even have to use all of the control I have to not crash my car just to see what happens if I do it. 
How can I convince my psych that I just need to go on the lithium and stay with it? I've tried everything to calm myself down and keep my mood swings in check, but lamictal does nothing for me, and it even seems to be feeding my psychosis and delusions. Tonight I lashed out on my husband and yelled at him for the first time (I am the least angry person I know and have always had an amazing amount of patience), and he doesn't deserve this. I am trying so hard to be normal, happy, and myself, but I keep blowing up randomly for no reason and it's scaring the shit out of me. Does anyone have any experience with telling their psychs to just change their damn meds back to what works despite the long term effects it could have? I feel so lost and don't know what to do anymore. ",6.269971600993964,6.223735210862621,6.422337593184242,79.98911164359252,65.90095846645367,8.872488462903801,33.36332978345758,8.344100000000001,2.5242752573659923,1263,50,240,15,18,404,174,313,0.14,0.759,0.10099999999999999,-0.8873,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,3,7,12,17,4,1,9,0,22,8,1,6,3,61,43,25,0,7,10,1,5,1,0,0,5,1,0,2,18,23,2,3,10,0,1,3,6,10,0,2,9,7,35,6,40,31,8,38,0,4,1,0,9,17,2,6,18,170,53,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774210477675044,0.08866506818910075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08322781863855178,0.0,0.0,0.06801961747569471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919673752701874,0.06993897024177219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769121320720626,0.0,0.06097358324214412,0.11046843433520986,0.17022578219078358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251952962215992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116238463659254,0.0,0.0,0.1080901992772738,0.11218520269108984,0.07986086941440093,0.11067443793362533,0.0,0.06450707956949152,0.0,0.08615035682364579,0.20304411351901275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17506301189958032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19819433989662966,0.09047725824407547,0.0,0.0,0.08989494651152054,0.0978424745163212,0.0,0.0,0.10115008254257876,0.0,0.19207707757436615,0.10957118943500176,0.0,0.08508019757749644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451661973843288,0.0,0.05684583352565404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845072057510488,0.10647720053490893,0.08960168275168445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17781150769656245,0.0,0.0,0.10994093494210863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04886657880683118,0.0,0.0,0.08851792000682228,0.0,0.0,0.21837559800247489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22220779757457265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14833276826795075,0.0771445248164491,0.09660361431765044,0.0,0.0,0.19600418399707872,0.09597553871426326,0.0,0.0,0.106522088078536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17467385714685435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692247560955715,0.10055155095276272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028411306524558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014127826562552,0.0,0.07970602259204236,0.09105791559224276,0.0,0.11299842919400785,0.10267299862277676,0.0827407252512658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07079736411659522,0.1066120677168053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10396303199904056,0.0,0.0,0.0874252144432519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05832468516275827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358191959461771,0.0,0.0977087236204004,0.0,0.0,0.08638845272273367,0.0,0.0,0.058996631814671636,0.0,0.1604661263233981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11167300641245796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07281852143902999,0.0,0.10193280273747143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bluemacy,2018/11/24,need to talk to someone looking to talk to someone daily,3.766363636363636,6.097911090909097,4.790909090909089,80.30636363636366,74.45454545454545,4.4,38.27272727272727,3.1291,2.4205636363636365,46,3,7,0,1,15,6,11,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3241627754366361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2862317617213608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6541534382289779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6205426277511562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Zatoichi_the_hollow,2019/08/29,"Book recommendations? I want to read but hate all the books I have. I'm not looking for a textbook or therapy oriented book on how to survive bipolar, since I've done a fuckton of reading and have a bunch of textbooks to refer to already, but I'm looking for books like scattershot or touched with fire or an unquiet mind. Recommendations?",6.661093749999999,7.431230421875,7.243750000000002,71.62625000000001,65.09375,10.15,41.0,10.125756701596842,4.4042625,273,16,48,6,4,90,44,64,0.131,0.8009999999999999,0.068,-0.7278,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,5,0,3,1,0,1,1,13,9,7,0,1,6,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,2,1,10,8,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,1,30,2,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985686039786709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768758112570716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671210160354197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321814696155868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4544028657836788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27318748023546874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5412644697531861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22380921537406515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3094078162652582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15958271861959866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,random1959,2019/08/29,"Can love be felt when on antipsychotics? Been in a relationship for 4 months. Girl loves me to death, I want to feel love for her because she’s such an amazing person but I’m not sure if I’ll ever feel love because of depression and the antipsychotics I’m on. 20mg latuda 10mg Abilify.

I’m sexually attracted to her but I don’t know if I’ll ever feel this love emotion.",0.7167948717948711,3.0231770897435917,3.220769230769232,87.40756410256414,85.7948717948718,7.056410256410258,22.76923076923077,8.167268648758528,1.4985538461538463,295,11,63,7,9,102,53,78,0.11,0.598,0.292,0.9473,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,0,3,0,4,5,0,0,3,15,18,6,1,3,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,4,6,8,9,15,0,7,0,1,0,5,11,3,0,2,4,33,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077354996238701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14675607423679288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19166505461323188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3082537952753916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584618840244094,0.0,0.16360047070607714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364151586194046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7689150823107657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136003132019658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14877738463199724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829343664914439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16058992046452406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005000373479392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,goldvines,2019/08/29,"Medication Does anyone else have physical reactions outside of being really tired when they take their meds? 

Specifically speaking I take Seroquel and Wellbutrin at night. These meds are fairly new (at least the Seroquel is) and without fail, every night about 15-20 minutes after I take this med my whole body feels itchy, I feel the way I imagine a horse covered in flies feel. I constantly twitch, move, and try to mitigate it but I feel like I look like some zombie in a horror movie. The movements are largely intentional but only to accommodate the physical feeling of restlessness and itchiness. 

In short, I probably look like I’m possessed. I’ve left rooms where my kids are to avoid freaking them out. It only lasts about 30 minutes but it is fully unpleasant while it’s happening. 

I have a medical appointment coming up but I’m just wondering if anyone else has reacted similarly and if so they found a solution to it or a way to mitigate the discomfort?",5.649293831168832,7.80386819886364,6.3424025974026,71.9818181818182,68.7159090909091,10.255844155844157,33.59415584415584,10.451354775682146,4.141261038961039,777,37,126,23,14,254,112,176,0.14300000000000002,0.767,0.09,-0.8974,0,1,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,4,1,6,8,0,3,10,0,9,5,1,2,0,28,25,15,0,2,9,0,5,3,0,0,4,1,1,1,7,7,0,1,8,0,0,3,1,5,0,0,1,8,15,3,18,23,3,24,0,1,2,0,6,11,0,5,11,79,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17130479536956827,0.25102427075979394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360659913973809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551988410230614,0.0,0.13237519371989584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719750850837666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20466020679807398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320858050347123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3096895431057953,0.08751152070360874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13431108438141118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832324622474498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985099304219948,0.0,0.0,0.13309280054104944,0.0,0.0,0.17953680016971427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20573240900813253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4081979741921428,0.24680466341829396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13019438850595308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11830787846488658,0.0,0.229909325359232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863282091270369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13207194027959968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847439157805508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763063587196731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14079170136133498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831670794136274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19446403242063187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13676296237748164,0.0,0.11808225015177888,0.13284222377993787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MissSmurf,2019/08/29,"Anyone who has bipolar and is fine with it/not on meds? Im wondering if I might be bipolar. I go through phases that normally last months, ie: tired phase. I dont get depressed much or suicidal but my energy level are none existent. I feel so tired, sloppy, sleepy, I don't feel pretty, I struggle with excercising and I have no sex drive or very little sex drive. That can last 5-6 months. Then suddenly something happens and I become extremely energetic, hyper, focused, feel manic, my sex drive goes through the roof and all I wanna do is fuck. During these periods I tend to sleep with a lot of men, drink a lot of alcohol and use drugs. At the same time I also want to exercise and eat healthily and I feel great. 
I think I do have periods of normality between those two phases too. 

Should I get diagnosed? The thing is I feel like I'm ok with being like that, I'm 38, I have a good job, I pay my bills on time, I have great friends etc. While I don't enjoy low energy periods I actually do love the other ones. Thoughts?",1.965533980582528,4.10393142718447,3.950300970873788,85.08632524271844,79.38834951456309,7.6151456310679615,24.377669902912626,8.548686976883017,1.7763833009708736,798,29,163,18,20,271,126,206,0.106,0.644,0.249,0.9873,1,0,4,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,0,3,14,1,1,7,1,20,16,1,1,1,34,39,15,1,6,4,0,5,2,1,2,8,0,0,1,8,11,3,0,8,2,2,4,5,4,0,2,1,5,24,10,16,34,7,22,0,2,0,5,4,6,1,7,14,101,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.12060426190230605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320782073625915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883344422733936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641574767655902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13649346444100768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644634131417627,0.12543942826448606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14484445778694394,0.1210693920204704,0.14332308308498928,0.1264615892588251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378335195104024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3124495535266661,0.08829143954318579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548394190381616,0.11425530559782066,0.1291394741458296,0.0,0.07023802594512042,0.10365992415679688,0.0,0.272512868329234,0.0,0.0,0.10928864300696932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13349647105246082,0.0,0.1226422251524668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014817670777574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207579102005608,0.12386785087587532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101405475191112,0.11154318173053136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13727863664983814,0.0,0.0,0.13110755680052688,0.0,0.0,0.1972938549364928,0.0,0.09085155214792914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421804045625625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374656733135855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12573363695147086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367746060048185,0.0,0.0,0.09514423947240697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920122749394458,0.0,0.13518543892553894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210651293224999,0.07919033256469925,0.0,0.09811523116382956,0.14413055436522115,0.28409292602805764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12072771985333156,0.0,0.0,0.10674052973398394,0.0,0.10197321371149028,0.07289552635732853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402613821982273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mandal_,2019/08/29,"Recently diagnosed with Bipolar 2. Now what? Hi all, 

This is my first Reddit post. It only took 6 years. I was diagnosed as Bipolar 2 in October and am just not able to wrap my head around it. I don’t know what it “feels” like when it’s affecting me. I took depression medicine on and off for years until a new doctor diagnosed me. And I truly think she is correct but I’ve been wracking my head as to how to snap out of it since. I think the Lamictal (200 mg) and Gabapentin is helping but who knows. What do others with Bipolar 2 feel like? Do most people take these drugs?

It’s really strange to feel like I’m fine and then soon after I’m so irritable. And if I try to talk to my boyfriend about these feelings he tells me I need to change my perspective. He is the happiest human on Earth and has been supportive but he doesn’t get it. I feel like nobody does. And I don’t know why I am posting now but I was just trying to fold laundry and felt so overwhelmed that my body went numb. What is “normal”? Bleh.",0.6599082934609264,2.942487947368424,2.3727571770334954,93.56159190590114,85.79425837320574,5.9713716108452966,21.148524720893146,7.333567415737692,0.6757223285486447,787,26,174,13,24,258,121,209,0.063,0.7979999999999999,0.139,0.9367,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,11,9,0,1,3,0,17,12,3,2,2,39,37,22,0,3,8,0,6,4,0,0,9,0,0,1,17,13,0,0,11,0,0,3,4,3,0,1,8,6,21,6,23,29,2,23,0,2,0,0,10,6,0,2,16,109,38,1,0.12016682171313822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697394817035692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13347824925250004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271205638205565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034995074593572,0.3659003836413298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12299583392761802,0.10515879547108868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393553627462946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3037997783358221,0.3433888057693289,0.11537899351870815,0.0,0.0,0.10221383716194604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278220464245172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24665165441316675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054528758642737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19812162773897504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23482975691368035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910217567202282,0.0,0.1160578652174108,0.0,0.0,0.1177379714468162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139228283721347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330854376198707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301731960472373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698194303676346,0.0,0.11865023940833445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09940323669077993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636388523880547,0.0,0.0,0.09035049498279728,0.09658553945471507,0.10503109874434914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539960944603649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670195208681572,0.1631707679717579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11139584762794898,0.10843186584263924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15476698671850414
bipolarreddit,elveswearingkhakis,2019/08/29,"My mum keeps trying to force me to open up about my paranoia It makes me very uncomfortable but she insists she must know. I ended up crying and told her everything but I fear she will use it all against me especially because I don’t know what’s real and what’s not. I’m not exactly sure why I made this post but I feel intruded upon right now.

I was prescribed antipsychotics AGAIN and refuse to take them because after my experience with Seroquel I’m scared to take more. I read it can cause HEART FAILURE which is my worst fear (I was prescribed Risperidone). I want to take it, but I think I will die, I’m scared I’ll have an allergic reaction so I can’t... can someone please help me?",2.035436793422406,4.315575323741008,3.223150051387464,89.63807553956836,79.93525179856115,6.561356628982527,24.31706063720452,7.7094869923839395,1.2222513874614591,546,20,114,9,14,176,87,139,0.302,0.648,0.05,-0.9921,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,4,6,0,4,1,0,11,2,1,4,4,27,27,8,1,2,6,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,8,5,0,2,4,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,4,1,25,1,12,20,3,10,0,0,0,0,9,5,0,0,4,72,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19748604314340115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16640063590242926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779301575942231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16811224940996564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14346840593269616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14557941604518698,0.15844995583457747,0.0,0.3645506669315389,0.08190321325561911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919500288834201,0.10857344765133534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397747849631595,0.0,0.0,0.17804267903182885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532717472677941,0.1081245689422639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17780813003323148,0.0,0.0,0.15513444796481446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16202632334258635,0.1843715344846701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13833216019064834,0.0,0.0,0.3243454582858009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724723692139498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15266657850331222,0.0,0.3653720173297884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379183811629956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547812094459193,0.0,0.1099754769365002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13990086193344675,0.0,0.13365251725764127,0.09554146858646956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146164001179707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,priz24601,2019/05/30,"Lithium and seroquel Has anyone been on this combo and had success? I've been in a bad mixed or hypomanic state for quite some time and have not been medicated. I started 300mg lithium last week, moved to 600, and now to 900. I just added seroquel first 100mg, then 150, last night 200, moving to 300 tomorrow. Haven't felt more calm or relaxed yet. Hoping these meds just need some time to work? I am aware of side effects and have tolerated seroquel in the past on lower doses. Just hoping that I am on the right track toward stability med wise. I am going to a month long intensive therapy program next week, which I have done before. It did not help me, probably because I was so unstable at the time to focus on anything...",4.6426760563380265,5.8006183380281735,5.487436619718308,81.01214084507043,69.8450704225352,8.215211267605634,28.9887323943662,8.548686976883017,2.1106484507042262,572,21,110,9,10,187,97,142,0.09,0.8009999999999999,0.109,0.5921,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,5,6,7,0,0,5,0,15,2,0,1,0,19,21,9,0,3,7,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,2,1,0,3,3,1,0,1,8,1,8,6,16,13,3,32,0,0,0,0,1,10,0,6,18,69,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11141669646671393,0.0,0.13112614279125093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13304518623644726,0.09713433287755747,0.0,0.13558960218885052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16306374730442405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15299477084332855,0.0,0.0,0.13553751958387106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055859640813407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10680460490234156,0.0,0.0,0.31652814482197866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597724776981704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14101400394046007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3539894660919136,0.16052183601353234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12718648013370054,0.3387138961181495,0.0,0.11815120354965432,0.0,0.0,0.16946364482438844,0.1495331024630912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521114231589165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17179926866794765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16948145109351342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13607849832580968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278416598291395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822232059074576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2787434696635461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556315259998657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11600398279072124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Appius246,2019/05/30,"Funny funeral, mania cross post story I was having mania and extremly over talkative.

​

I saw people standing outside a church and went to talk to them talked maybe 20 minutes. Then he says I will see you inside.

​

I think o okay, run a kilometer home put on my suit and all that, run back a kilometer, its the end of a funeral service and only the family is left.

​

The minister asks me if I need a ride. Im like yea sure a ride sounds good. (going to cemetery which i didnt clue into or even know where it was.)

​

He drives me there we bury the guy and the minister is like o I have to go take my kids to hockey.

​

I was like o its okay I will just walk, at this point the minister was probably like okay this kids fucked because it had to be over 50 kilometers back into town in the middle of winter.

​

He gets one of the family members to drive me home.

​

I go to my aunt and uncles because I remembered they where just moving in and my aunt sees me and asks where I was.

​

I casualy just say a funeral. She just says okay.

​

O the manic times.",-1.088471320346322,0.9973195089285732,1.8599512987013007,93.81762445887449,97.21428571428572,5.5722943722943725,16.60930735930736,7.106945922332613,0.2444422619047621,806,22,183,16,33,281,122,224,0.055999999999999994,0.8220000000000001,0.121,0.8689,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,1,2,0,11,11,1,0,16,5,14,1,0,0,2,23,29,11,3,2,6,2,0,4,0,2,0,4,2,3,8,11,0,0,3,1,0,14,1,1,0,1,9,7,26,10,19,17,1,37,1,0,3,1,20,15,1,2,10,107,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260067070790208,0.0,0.0,0.21390844916951546,0.0,0.16958006858287356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319545082928104,0.0,0.0,0.09186986660253976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26224972200498553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285895897956771,0.07267055092082493,0.0,0.237149922196176,0.11666492908866513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13772431582940792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790440050772353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502447204704151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644208481855175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15112536588725556,0.0,0.0,0.271816001121781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13973799705077233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478342518862329,0.0,0.1031359798721009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09425327501063424,0.10578678435260497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09642983718194632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13148820438958495,0.0,0.133213010432016,0.0,0.1499661906358206,0.0,0.0,0.13982726617006505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575656865070102,0.0,0.0,0.3318379190981089,0.0,0.0,0.22167883301114824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109386587945016,0.0,0.1045809124378768,0.22359598243267795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912542246503921,0.0,0.0,0.08110646926141889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12894095808705566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ravenmirth,2019/05/30,"Anyone else get only mania? I'm finally coming around to accepting my diagnosis of BP 1 at age 40. 
 My first manic episode/psychosis was at age 19 and I refused to accept the diagnosis back then, weaned myself off the olanzapine after 9 months and didn't look back. 
Didn't have another episode for 18 years, in 2016. Again, I resisted the diagnosis and weaned myself off the Latuda after a year and a half. After 5 months off the meds, I went manic and was hospitalized again last November and now I'm accepting that I'm bipolar. I'm trying lithium now and it seems to be working. 

 The strange part is that I don't really get depressed, I mean I have the occasional day where I feel down but nothing like the depressions I hear others describe. I also wonder how I went 18 years without a manic episode. I'm freaked out about being on meds for the rest of my life, all the side effects are scary. 

I guess I'm just curious if there are others with similar experiences as mine.",5.63958987783595,6.1983434607329855,6.8038874345549765,74.63141579406634,67.27225130890052,9.926876090750435,32.147033158813265,9.928628108626363,3.1482561954624777,775,31,144,17,12,262,115,191,0.071,0.852,0.077,-0.0049,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,3,13,7,0,0,13,0,12,2,0,2,1,27,30,13,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,11,0,1,8,0,0,3,4,3,0,2,6,3,17,4,24,22,3,36,0,2,1,0,2,12,0,4,22,97,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12206021091263465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16004855769875367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067242416778595,0.15639010502759054,0.0,0.13587534709283575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347300494371781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13147944385863725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098435380534034,0.0,0.2629244174026784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275049266719976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493039411438592,0.0,0.0,0.07717561337900586,0.0,0.0,0.1672015195786695,0.0,0.12982918588694803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594884360715862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16814198356652404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720279991452575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12441591597269508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780889792067463,0.07456856382817495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817291712461132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16626161426724084,0.3390807529632375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436597220058588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14645506723211724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608394720869132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16528619914208004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778033258474847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13895095905407487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362749581916823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829838427024135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14713235056702512,0.16552351106258606,0.11111832864879352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2948711120589869
bipolarreddit,indigeauxdreams,2019/05/30,"Losing my health insurance, so long Latuda My husband is filing for divorce, so I'm about to lose my health insurance. In my state, Medicaid doesn't cover Latuda--the drug has been a total godsend for me--and the lowest price I can find is $1220 for a 30 day supply. I'm really scared to switch to another medicine because I'm so stable right now and I've had serious problems with side effects from other meds, such as Seroquel and Zyprexa. I guess there wasn't any real point to this. I'm just upset and afraid and needed to vent. Thanks for reading.",3.4782929292929303,5.244369354545455,4.516666666666668,84.44944444444445,73.63636363636364,7.070707070707071,25.858585858585855,7.793537801064563,1.5252828282828281,439,15,83,6,9,143,78,110,0.156,0.759,0.084,-0.7292,1,0,1,0,1,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,8,8,0,3,3,0,8,3,0,1,1,13,15,8,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,2,1,1,0,2,7,0,0,3,0,6,1,14,12,1,8,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,1,3,45,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13619521819723898,0.21000788218015265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208699169616312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12916208739887247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322577199002587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18304953678202945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206276793873958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4257701412588497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17723883016547026,0.0,0.4481174366889912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22246258211177727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14850284733865818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893264869109258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19163802750116807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20033118368898928,0.2279590561576443,0.1283025655479175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710354516571549,0.0,0.0,0.2005122014808566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18438814054795927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LeadBandit,2019/05/30,"Lamictal and Heart Palpitations Anyone else experience this? Lamictal has made me feel mentally amazing and awakened, but this physical side effect worries me. It happens for several hours at a time, and as soon as I miss a day's dose, it goes away again.",5.310217391304349,7.830072847826087,6.338478260869567,70.10163043478265,70.52173913043478,10.686956521739132,35.413043478260875,10.686352973137794,4.748017391304347,205,11,33,7,4,68,38,46,0.11900000000000001,0.83,0.051,-0.4939,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,1,2,1,2,0,7,5,6,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,1,5,4,0,8,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,5,21,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19806872624013447,0.2902432325813551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661411616649585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18268549050167485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366354449394373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770920737413978,0.0,0.0,0.14322964678372552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250494416757503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3356759001785803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27896354578722754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.268036592832754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2854691823503546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3200140759897188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16517681142014598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876740807009284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ihatejustin69,2019/05/30,"From Latuda to Lamotrigine So I've been on Latuda 20mg for like 3 weeks now and I've  told my doctor over the phone that I just cant handle it anymore. Everytime I take the pill about 2hours afterwards I get this horrible overwhelming feeling. I've read about Akathisia and it could be that but it feels like so much more then that. It feels completely hopeless, restless, feels like it's hard to breathe and I just get super panicky and miserable. Feels like it lasts forever and time slows down but it doesnt last more then 3hours usually. I literally hate it more then anything I've ever experienced from meds. Last night I woke up panicking, sweating, and i basically rocked back and forth in my bed for 3hours going crazy before i finally went back to sleep.

So anyways I was wondering if Lamotrigine has a history of these effects/Akathisia as my doctor suggested putting me on that instead. Honestly I dont even want to risk having this feeling ever again because it's really not worth it to me. I'd rather be miserable but feel sane in my head.",4.260532906231799,6.363800143564358,4.933226557949915,80.85758008153759,72.31683168316832,8.911357018054748,29.704135119394287,9.478462496947786,2.8771254513686664,847,36,158,21,17,272,122,202,0.188,0.705,0.107,-0.9588,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,0,1,17,13,1,5,3,0,10,7,4,0,2,27,27,18,0,4,8,0,8,4,0,0,3,0,1,0,17,7,0,0,8,2,1,3,4,7,0,0,5,9,16,6,20,19,4,29,0,4,0,0,3,7,0,2,23,100,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12736252442448662,0.0,0.0,0.10568236220647433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975009167393091,0.0,0.07828633963703545,0.0,0.10927972976956933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346505699325715,0.0,0.0,0.1025364561872004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262895688810806,0.0,0.0,0.15051247377730578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482312384183016,0.2323344960782194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4545467484957033,0.27523931219829195,0.0,0.14068268411382376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13419292676410066,0.0,0.07298656227347608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504306283085365,0.12679253537792334,0.13180051411626326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.314049149486647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509667552375273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426505888774538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09440673167078743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205176264623309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910202173386076,0.0,0.0,0.12845918200029194,0.0,0.08227197740922745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12851717511245858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655918763426594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07488531703544167,0.0,0.0,0.12271504496462687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14144136435485447,0.0,0.07574805530687888,0.0,0.1030143301214917,0.0,0.0,0.119050731872949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927081451716375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Friendlessjoejackson,2019/05/30,"Coworker WAY Overstepping Boundaries (Rant) So I work in an office where every full-time employee except me is a social worker. One of them in particular is very nosy and always trying to insert herself into my work despite the fact that we’re equal on the hierarchy, and because she’s been employed here longer than I have, she has lots of opinions about how I’m doing my job wrong.

 I hate my job and am often not the most enthusiastic employee, yeah, but I still do my fucking job. Today I hit a breaking point and was a curt with her after she asked me what I feel was a really condescending question. 

I went to grab a coffee and came back to a print-out on my desk of recommended therapists in the area for mood disorders. I am fucking astonished that anyone, let alone a social worker, would think this is an OK way to address a workplace conflict. Holy shit. Am I wrong to feel this is hugely inappropriate? I know BP can affect how I interpret others’ actions- and contribute to me acting like a dick - but this seems less helpful and more passive aggressive. I’m not sure how to begin to address this.",6.221462621885159,6.685741727699533,7.142723004694838,73.03560130010838,65.99530516431925,9.934127843987,31.87757313109426,9.851270322608157,3.0988738894907897,880,33,157,18,13,295,137,213,0.136,0.77,0.094,-0.8486,6,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,4,10,11,5,0,15,2,17,4,2,4,2,34,32,13,0,1,5,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,8,10,0,1,7,0,0,4,2,7,0,1,5,3,25,3,23,24,5,22,0,0,0,3,11,10,4,6,6,114,33,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14701884242688915,0.0,0.0,0.1181149381608487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925572098694743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132705399071992,0.0,0.0,0.10915186619228183,0.0,0.08653225726566431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623545878877231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626886050700158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196001787084971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14354978827893167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624635680094197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014762143123471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09514703272031624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42259458981410775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801277832612802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451549263012756,0.0,0.06935028489653973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206820059618548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618994389503753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13418995787325574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590180576233576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093770315405414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12922722528560415,0.0,0.0,0.14571107451205936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894031564623404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11336257320209372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337875166937717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16481651891437546,0.0,0.09095672681470626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13455333139017653,0.0,0.0,0.09637568419225633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712477320884836,0.0,0.225348831622583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159037203499724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20668462294051845,0.0,0.0,0.10083820337293943,0.3104031489095027,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rakitakitaka,2019/05/30,Bipolar is not a real disorder All of you are just a bunch of pussies,3.34,3.786164333333337,5.206666666666667,84.45000000000002,72.33333333333334,8.666666666666668,35.0,8.841846274778883,2.901,55,3,12,1,1,19,13,15,0.0,0.8420000000000001,0.158,0.3089,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,11,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.709538021650593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7046671525139814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,NeedMoreSleep17,2019/05/30,"Experiences with bipolar diagnosis in the UK? (NHS) Hi everyone. Just looking for some advice from people who have been though this. Yesterday I had my first appointment with a psychiatrist and I had an assessment and went through pretty much everything. 

At the end of the appointment he diagnosed me with depression and possible bipolar. He said if it is bipolar then it’s a milder type because I was still able to function somewhat during my mania/hypomania. He also said that some types are more prone to depression, so I’m not sure what he was getting at really. I told him everything at the appointment, so I’m not sure why he’s said it’s possible, but hasn’t given me a proper diagnosis or hasn’t ruled it out. 

He said he was prescribing medications, including quetiapine and an antidepressant. He didn’t say which one and I forgot to ask. He also said he would be faxing my GP, but when I phoned them the receptionists said no fax had come through. Will I need to see my GP to collect my medications?

I won’t be seeing him for another three months now. Do they send follow up letters or anything? 

Anyone who can share what it was like for them when going though this and what happened, I would be very grateful.",3.6794805194805207,6.173458831168832,5.0045670995670966,77.88399350649351,75.4069264069264,8.875324675324675,28.24891774891775,9.457814108942452,2.9528943722943715,974,41,176,27,22,323,135,231,0.048,0.893,0.059000000000000004,0.6601,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,3,1,11,6,0,0,10,0,23,6,0,0,2,28,45,20,0,4,8,0,0,1,0,4,6,7,0,0,14,11,0,1,0,0,0,5,7,2,0,3,19,10,21,4,21,19,5,20,0,2,3,0,31,6,0,6,10,123,35,4,0.10908655438755184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659811842718002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17447295626367726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143867637072418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627585521650063,0.0,0.08976893948414362,0.0,0.1019812027499585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06649815104986005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396840742123487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18791217889580886,0.11072055644943464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09661830858262198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423687751889303,0.19607992228379892,0.10670758225967787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278896743515944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05699322228600168,0.0,0.06199640275907808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646487978103377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05329418029905963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160523153477296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21978645411575207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707184696570819,0.0,0.08019116913466871,0.08088629784765801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07391987243522258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562688153419092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.245957399031963,0.0,0.11098024313635517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06988364006153264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.622597762752958,0.08675000646267328,0.0,0.0,0.17385572072614205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711666324674573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20562557304785006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21435397164616213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423687751889303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000783183790909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011243288086823,0.09843364800663232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549839167815393,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Chucks_Punch,2019/05/30,"Want to have my brother evaluated if he agrees. What should I say to him? Hi, so I have a brother I believe is suffering from this disorder. Manic episodes every couple of weeks. Talking non sense, spending thousands of dollars on random things, becoming aggressive towards loved ones, disappearing for days on end. He has been admitted to psych ward several times due to these episodes but they doctor's seem to chalk it up to lack of sleep. 

Now when ever I bring these things up with him as o fear for his and my families safety. He basically laughs it off saying he doesn't remember it so it couldn't have happened.

Basically I want to sit him down tonight and really talk deep with him. He seems to be completely coherent this week. I was wondering if you guys could help me with how this conversation should go?",5.016372549019606,6.9352449673202665,5.5014542483660165,78.3290441176471,69.91503267973857,9.544444444444443,31.050653594771237,9.928628108626363,3.2370614379084968,652,28,119,17,12,209,107,153,0.077,0.8009999999999999,0.121,0.7278,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,1,0,6,5,1,1,1,0,13,3,1,1,1,23,23,10,0,9,3,2,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,1,12,5,0,0,5,0,2,3,2,3,0,2,2,2,16,2,25,16,1,22,0,1,0,1,24,8,0,6,10,81,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18368750581058435,0.0,0.18738582079401345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17438348180688246,0.0,0.0,0.132793082502487,0.1840300497002363,0.0,0.10726271830095176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19061726721250374,0.17023569075795406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14731026019672827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15044607085679654,0.14013187471691302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15679180734769474,0.18715637513170846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452355723958084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646830679515998,0.14707633313864588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148087078821492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501104021805631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11270281794293542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065489279617806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884082741787978,0.0,0.0,0.2645288705950862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3028231820267342,0.0,0.1878943948474654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166440234744778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673636252749698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22099139520116567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698259968295686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19619983236801106,0.0,0.26682393652823155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803670757706069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,supportbrah,2019/05/30,"Missed my Lamictal dose today and feeling very weird I was rushing out the door this morning and forgot to take my daily 200mg Lamictal. 

I’m feeling very disconnected, like I’m underwater and every action and thought  is very slow and difficult to do and to think.  My brain feels all scrambled and I can’t connect my trains of thoughts as easily.  It’s all  jumbled and foggy in there. I’m at work and feel very useless and overwhelmed because I’m not as efficient and as myself as other days. And of course my boss is giving me a hard time about work too so it’s making me want to cry. 

Has anyone else experienced this? Or what was your missed dose experience like and how did you cope with it to make it through the day?

Should I take my dose when I get home at 6:30 PM tonight? Or should I just wait until the next morning? 

Thanks in advance for responses and sharing.",3.1766666666666663,5.153228901734106,4.050196531791912,86.56681695568403,75.01156069364163,6.9254720616570316,26.562235067437378,7.793537801064563,1.5126796917148364,692,26,138,10,15,222,109,173,0.10400000000000001,0.7709999999999999,0.125,0.4017,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,3,7,10,0,1,4,0,10,4,1,4,2,38,33,24,0,3,4,0,5,2,0,2,3,0,2,0,8,16,0,2,7,0,0,3,2,6,0,0,6,6,16,4,21,25,2,17,0,4,0,0,4,5,0,2,11,84,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056859421998276,0.1620234896117648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639494777136916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765260496910616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736990419701943,0.2039623140168933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13209782779060464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13323185300317605,0.0,0.0,0.1546820724536878,0.0,0.0,0.3198223363399855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826167133799238,0.1516932832533836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14165396012195544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586178878220499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15450925011716088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21110681058960895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681736900647106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377890674670805,0.0,0.0,0.1455854135714527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10132370526103593,0.0,0.2510760705781872,0.09220722616412744,0.0,0.1498893217589315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5218972324523111,0.09326952657312762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302419243765865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Texaye,2019/05/30,"(Hypo)mania questions and tips (If you don't want to read what I'm going through currently, skip to the second paragraph)

I've always struggled with bipolar related issues since I was around 16 years old and this has led to many events that have almost resulted in me being in jail. Even with medication after medication, and switching doctors, I just feel hopeless. I've been (hypo)manic for the past three weeks and as such have done things I would have never done if I was thinking clearly. Like hooking up with random guys on applications and not using protection because ""its fine"" and whats the worst that can happen. My therapist has given me little advice on how to help me during this manic state of mind, my medications are either working too well for depression or my bipolar medication (Lithium) isn't working enough at all. I went from suicidal just 3 weeks ago, seeing my doctor and him putting me on a $5 per pill medication (Pristiq) to balance my depression. I'm confused, and scared. I'm currently on a downward spiral mentally with my actions with zero control over them. I've spent hundreds of dollars with my debit card, applied for countless credit cards in which Im waiting for, and sexually have never been so active. As a result of my mania I've quit the things I've enjoyed for 6+ years for that of which I would have never done before like going to the library and getting a book and wanting to read it within a day but forget I have it because something else popped up.   


**For those of you who do struggle with bipolar I/II and have extreme episodes of (hypo)mania, how do you deal with it? What have you learned along the way that could be useful to someone like me to help reduce the impact of such mindset? What medications have worked for you in the past, or are working currently, to reduce these ups and downs?**  


Even my own mother who has bipolar is like ""think twice before you do anything"", which it could just be me but even if I think twice it doesn't matter because everything is justifiable when you're (hypo)manic. At the same time, I don't want to leave this manic state.. I don't want my doctor to adjust my medications because I know what the flip side is which is depression. Overall I feel hopeless, and I'm scared for what is to come nor do I want to change but I can't just sit here.  


What do you recommend? What should I do?  


I'm currently running on 2 hours of sleep in 2 days, haven't eaten in over 19 hours (anyone else not eat when they're manic?), and am digging myself deeper and deeper into a financial and sexual hole once I come out of this state of mind.   


I can't even tell if this is hypomania or full-blown mania at this point. From what I've said, although those who are going to reply will not be doctors, what do you think I am?",6.281017791127543,6.490207926062848,6.707688886321628,77.08365902264326,65.85767097966729,9.128488909426988,32.24820933456561,8.841846274778883,2.6139800831792974,2212,83,409,32,32,720,248,541,0.094,0.857,0.05,-0.9643,4,0,1,0,0,2,70.0,0,8,1,6,19,19,0,5,16,0,56,19,1,8,5,91,89,36,1,14,18,1,2,4,0,4,16,1,0,1,38,31,2,3,10,3,4,10,15,11,1,5,12,4,46,8,73,67,6,67,0,5,1,0,21,28,0,11,28,293,84,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579308489912403,0.059683064655465974,0.0,0.06742023232449391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0560230920969245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047077977473314735,0.06898648072629622,0.055406001005723696,0.05993705299798236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16417244740194825,0.0,0.11458397959895422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122511696691237,0.11599588245123092,0.0,0.0,0.07551515881450516,0.1075133991333765,0.0,0.0,0.08684322426663434,0.0694132060218894,0.17397101546567695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27565619266143915,0.0,0.2067027204833363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889433940500986,0.11248942079569232,0.0,0.0,0.06956881852255138,0.0,0.17788058430060918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06051093191970568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680870949472359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03517660506455483,0.0,0.1147938064109848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666626032593873,0.05953878097344618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902583713768769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261093534296647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07272683539691865,0.07027394635149331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037002238099213706,0.0,0.0,0.07129165189851924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315741246011039,0.06748131040916973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826100233100081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4747879387587589,0.06785176030123011,0.0,0.13596612168293148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15578474442547072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065042231963406,0.07170314984101052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12854623014331998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364763412209715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676842057338972,0.07542384922706037,0.07161264145997026,0.13469436940096313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06404526344241979,0.0,0.1348160782476686,0.0,0.05365246761718127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055695215214625865,0.0,0.06737758869944548,0.0,0.057047613152538236,0.0518331262880765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407737048171018,0.0,0.07364695925882785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058848482640382005,0.0,0.0,0.0781741171947307,0.08946074460188727,0.17256672737654258,0.0,0.0,0.03926006066058047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163012156792178,0.0,0.0,0.19856183855518672,0.053442598135783455,0.10801446824521607,0.0,0.060536824992883626,0.06241462465607778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960651522374988,0.0,0.0,0.09565712927449407,0.0,0.0,0.08671529137648043
bipolarreddit,DrRocO,2019/05/30,"GF starting to take lamictal Hey everyone, I hope you're doing fine today :)

I wanted to get some info about lamictal, my gf is going to start taking it tommorow and I just wanted to get some better info about this med and see people experience with it.
She currently going to start with 25 and after some time 50 and then 100.

I care for her a lot and I'm worried that something bad will happen to her from the meds (like addiction to the med/side effects and other stuff like that).

I already read lots of posts here from people that are using it. Some say it's amazing and helped them a lot and some say that it fucked their memory and they felt like they're in a fog... and that's scary.

Another thing I wanted to ask is that I saw some people say that they increased their dose every year or so, and I wanted to asked (ofc it depends on the situation) if it one of the things with this medication, that you constantly need to increase your dose in order for it to work properly (I hope it makes sense)...

One last thing, There is anything important she & I should know about this med?

I love her so much and I want to be there for her and know how to deal with this situation the best possible way and I hope you guys can help me understand better and educate me more about this topic :)

I myself diagnosed with bipolar but I don't take any meds (personal reasons) so I'm not familiar with meds at all...


That's it, I hope it's okay that I'm asking all these questions haha!
Thank you so much and have a great day!!",2.700165372087195,4.4467325081433255,4.043664495114008,87.10230957153597,75.7100977198697,7.328940115259335,22.55687797544475,8.139509932561175,1.1230898020546232,1188,33,247,20,26,391,159,307,0.027000000000000003,0.795,0.17800000000000002,0.9902,1,0,1,0,0,0,39.0,0,4,5,5,13,20,1,0,9,2,11,8,0,6,2,62,50,25,0,12,5,0,1,3,2,2,6,3,0,2,32,22,0,0,9,1,0,4,2,2,0,2,2,6,35,18,35,45,17,23,0,0,2,2,31,4,1,17,15,169,67,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485376244207744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589500761283554,0.0,0.0,0.08433630059536612,0.0,0.052931793755879086,0.08161882666519453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405317603378262,0.0,0.2183011173826039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649906002956045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168507472656937,0.1376809102373184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935995600646721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411408866303823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05019839214453821,0.08024647553845289,0.0,0.07900286372511622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655809857368353,0.07437653940546815,0.0,0.07613947084476566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07473567650561462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195900414169602,0.08133318541571037,0.0,0.08847306255834618,0.0,0.0,0.08581550991511616,0.0,0.07707081598851002,0.0688309560210817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043449309710763,0.0,0.0,0.3092386086915632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555430197418618,0.0634475013469358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11408160323231145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985225690414821,0.07025088449177769,0.0,0.05195676717750036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5187558126022208,0.07841253620804907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443822557010508,0.057715110644391235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054886607482848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618870173903927,0.06796422064814582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774946360922765,0.0745462800265305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719519553824683,0.0,0.07785801174414271,0.0,0.0,0.08002934622886321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856971954937783,0.0,0.0,0.06202596994096572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17498398149596073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059922685309276726,0.0,0.0,0.16528017717323484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910468308823381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755710938160062,0.0,0.0,0.07166180395834551,0.0,0.0,0.15513422873199226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04538735030397451,0.0,0.07378032543120208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103100789437953,0.0,0.06722613169712696,0.0,0.0,0.2295512429646929,0.061783346279411365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05666622514888569,0.0790471989493459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050124442502037465
bipolarreddit,onehanded100,2019/05/30,"Going to a psychologist AGAIN Is it just me or does everyone feel like this. Whenever I have to change psychologists, I feel like the new one wont take me seriously. I worry that they will just say I'm dramatic or something like that.

Another fear of mine is they will tell me something like, ""You're only stressed out because of lack of sleep"" or something stupid like that. Honestly, I just want to be put on meds at this point, but I feel like no matter that I do or say, they just want me to come back after, ""Trying this one thing first."" Like breathing. FFS it seems like they just googled how to cope with BPD and read a wikihow article and decided to tell me what they read.

Years of schooling and all they can do is regurgitate some at home remedy. A ten minute internet search would've given me the same results. I've voiced that I wanted meds and that the other stuff doesn't help. 

I really don't know what I need to do. I really hope this appointment is different.",4.2296447076239785,5.48097578756477,5.010262768319767,83.69534974093266,70.91709844559584,9.244855662472245,26.22094744633605,9.606745405546679,2.1535465581051083,769,24,159,18,14,249,110,193,0.107,0.746,0.147,0.4959,1,0,3,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,6,1,8,14,1,2,6,0,15,2,2,2,1,35,30,10,0,6,10,0,3,8,0,3,0,3,1,0,17,7,0,0,6,2,0,3,4,4,0,4,1,6,23,10,17,25,4,14,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,7,14,104,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12121491459602153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08888797032836061,0.0,0.07046766110921811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14559203357289704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12228769161491446,0.09957771433626124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077563743593413,0.0,0.0,0.10116086622552282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11045914576748056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13008024489010328,0.17534994727486916,0.24775038232529614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832786940184936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569718752543426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748311518903793,0.0,0.11595453727943265,0.11481521198565925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352981187577879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4518039887866153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568073408631133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857146873276868,0.0,0.11164557491442616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15666482263833892,0.08791772915164586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10927777425985362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620823707221567,0.0,0.0,0.23125919912805706,0.0,0.14811048389126674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838568429384025,0.0,0.11699166832154123,0.0,0.10523636624378108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568180073978633,0.0,0.0,0.2669796961891037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13241748157786004,0.0,0.1323324163302597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691554800927108,0.0,0.2020760485511252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679838527045428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07848366918221765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045486472785196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173957022073401,0.0,0.08211772773164765,0.0,0.0,0.07444152611971612
bipolarreddit,yeti40,2019/05/30,"Why are certain people targets ? My mother was bipolar ( she died ) and my SIL is also . I witnessed often targets of my mom’s rage , emotions, verbal & physical abuse , manipulations & lies . She was sooooo the opposite to me so as a child I always felt special. Of course I didn’t understand it all . Now I’ve became the target of my SIL - same behavior I witnessed as a kid . She accused me of awful outrageous lies , has spread lies to the family , we can’t be at family gatherings as she makes scenes . I won’t respond to her vitriol. There is no defending myself as it becomes a huge ugly fight of gaslighting. So my question is what causes people to have targets of their emotions? And other than ignore her , is there anything to do ? Thanks",3.919680851063831,5.99285396453901,5.395336879432627,77.30875,73.18439716312056,7.820567375886525,29.48049645390071,8.59863814320734,2.602862411347518,583,25,99,11,12,196,91,141,0.244,0.693,0.062,-0.982,0,0,0,0,2,0,24.0,1,0,1,0,7,7,3,0,6,1,14,1,0,3,2,14,18,9,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,4,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,1,21,3,17,12,2,3,0,0,0,0,16,2,0,2,1,74,25,0,0.0,0.22101452924270573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491726853021573,0.1552128050805344,0.40422312172588093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15350314508729845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060142371445084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19162374458471024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19359480549933453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4196555425261591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3516988750944519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17910370889006605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451415627085233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21846858202998076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586410006702461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20896288959291484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717371873087716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941904419356302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16831962857379065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwwayaway290,2019/05/30,Boyfriend expressed that he likes when I was skinny and off meds I was talking to my boyfriend today and he expressed that while he loves me he prefers when I’m skinnier. I’ve gained 30-40lbs because of meds. I used to be 120 and now I’m 160. What can I do to lose weight? What’s worked for you guys? I need my meds to function but I want to be skinnier again.,-0.3303896103896093,1.8906918701298745,0.5922207792207779,104.53118831168837,91.33766233766234,3.08,20.687012987012988,3.1291,-0.7909366233766235,282,10,68,0,10,86,48,77,0.026000000000000002,0.863,0.111,0.6136,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,3,4,3,0,0,0,0,6,3,1,1,0,8,12,7,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,10,2,8,8,0,7,0,1,0,1,10,1,0,0,7,37,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364374053199092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22161505722049046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093461932979627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503951464895343,0.0,0.0,0.20200452774181613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7458341891076025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659582474104149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17989646977977206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21215334017768664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19330693248391345,0.0,0.0,0.13201368427768906,0.0,0.0,0.2725500868554763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16294220539603088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,forthepeople29,2019/05/30,Positive lamictal discontinuation stories anyone? Talking about going from Lamictal to nothing. Not replacing with other mood stabalizers.,12.446666666666665,17.813672555555566,12.972222222222221,12.745000000000005,73.44444444444444,15.733333333333334,56.0,11.20814326018867,11.973200000000002,118,9,6,6,3,40,17,18,0.0,0.825,0.175,0.5574,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4533696402809573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.368495203859952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6221480715577956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5211516392189933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mercurysong,2019/01/28,Emotional support animals My cat is pretty much the only being keeping me from completely falling apart. My newest round of Med Roulette has me feeling odd and I'm too anxious to call my psychiatrist. My cat is on my chest purring loudly. She's trying her damndest to stop the panic and she usually can. Hopefully this will pass. ,3.4658313817330217,6.443940360655741,4.831522248243561,75.94409836065577,79.81967213114754,8.075878220140515,31.66510538641685,8.841846274778883,3.527766276346603,266,14,42,7,7,88,50,61,0.162,0.677,0.162,0.0018,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,2,0,6,1,1,0,0,6,11,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,10,2,5,9,1,7,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,1,3,28,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29033291682499635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624221811934368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26945596200563743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28908649458855706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994516256175234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552555324579241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284303155487176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.285465198371559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18892201284330867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954574344199088,0.0,0.3015300436170231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614578530953928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148605985407288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29163660572722866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17448376761139253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28304535895178545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,blue_and_true,2019/01/28,"/r/MadStudies is a sub for scholarly discussion of mental illness including related published research & theory /r/madstudies is a sub for scholarly discussion of recent publications on the subject of mental health, mental illness, critical psychiatry and psychology. Its intended as a hub to provide a regular feed to subscribers of published articles and relevant discussion. Open to all with an interest in this type of material and related academic issues.

Thanks to the mods of /r/bipolarreddit for permission to post this notice.",11.596279069767439,12.972186069767444,11.973813953488367,39.85141860465117,54.58139534883721,18.042790697674416,53.24651162790697,15.6451,10.250956279069767,446,31,48,24,5,152,55,86,0.08800000000000001,0.845,0.067,-0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,7,0,2,4,0,1,1,7,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,18,3,1,5,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,34,3,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661790089872517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611314707534973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256411478571901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7427206419655521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27969236992045843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23528012019818545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24256553820287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261762470634049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,11Y1N,2019/10/21,"BP1 BP1 is my diagnosis. Can anyone share personal experiences with BP1, links to general/helpful information, books? Also what is the difference between BP1/BP2?",6.8156410256410265,10.63683030769231,8.213076923076922,51.61525641025645,72.84615384615384,12.6974358974359,39.43589743589744,11.20814326018867,7.017912820512822,132,8,16,6,3,45,22,26,0.0,0.9,0.1,0.3736,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,10,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3817385594985016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33377591253579336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4987316818207159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4669422655717058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31995926638297073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4168057226450008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thatgalinside,2019/10/21,I think I'm pregnant This is wanted (we're trying)... I have a test... I'm terrified to take it. I'm not ok with where I am mental health wise. I have an appointment in a couple days to see my psychiatrist to talk about med changes.,0.4836734693877531,2.419547571428573,2.9217959183673483,91.56963265306123,83.48979591836735,6.3689795918367365,20.00408163265305,7.554174236665415,0.5356008163265304,177,5,41,3,5,61,37,49,0.131,0.8,0.069,-0.4191,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,1,4,1,0,0,0,4,11,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,2,6,11,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,22,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34868605719628165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36470968709983786,0.0,0.2125726341580613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3503624101155306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3661249057942781,0.0,0.3321716240108652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26265828950448555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478273924725116,0.2649298423674428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112022216830651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237850825381609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944138459684556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mshelleliz,2019/10/21,"Why am I like this? I’ve been off meds for a few weeks (collective gasps) and I’m starting to feel the affects. Effects? One of those. 

On meds I feel like a styrofoam person, a plastic mannequin of the real Michelle. Off of them and I am an impressionist painting, my moods and emotions harder to discern than a Jackson Pollock painting. I stopped taking my pills because that nagging thought of “hey life isn’t so bad, I bet I’m better now! I bet I can be stable and happy! Life is great, I have an amazing boyfriend who supports me, a good job, cliche cliche cliche.” Now I’m realizing I am a burden. Truly. My poor boyfriend didn’t sign up for this shit, he didn’t ask for an unstable girlfriend who openly weeps when he decides to go to Walmart instead of Aldi. 

I recently moved across the country and haven’t been to therapy in months. This morning he asked me if I would look for a psychiatrist or therapist, and I agreed. I have an appointment in a couple weeks and I know this will be good for me. Probably. I feel like I can’t remember how to have a productive therapy session. I’ve been using techniques on the regular that I’m not sure if I’ve learned in therapy or in real life, but that’s been ok for me in very isolated incidents. Mostly I feel like when the situation around me is chaotic I can use CBT to my advantage and control my emotions. When there is no chaotic situation though, my emotions get out of control and explosive. Part of this is a rant, part of this is asking for help/advice on therapy. How do you have good sessions? My memory is majorly affected (effected?) and I have a difficult time remembering in this mental state. Thanks in advance.",3.0472477064220165,5.237926186544347,4.538675840978595,81.9366376146789,76.12538226299694,7.907400611620796,30.777675840978603,8.745826893841286,2.751669602446484,1321,65,249,29,30,440,166,327,0.12300000000000001,0.743,0.134,-0.561,1,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,1,1,7,12,23,2,0,20,1,30,5,1,10,1,50,52,22,0,3,6,0,4,4,1,2,4,0,0,1,13,13,0,3,14,0,3,3,7,6,0,1,7,5,33,16,39,41,5,33,0,1,1,0,13,17,1,7,16,168,46,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686108153830406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912985468922303,0.2492970147542444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421841369865395,0.054185771810167184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861489744611301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19939263760687545,0.0,0.09835373813072708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29996372113750513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17977934048801075,0.19050647447704294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0464407158508796,0.0,0.05051753890774823,0.2236670598853448,0.0,0.09800018752976176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462375317942852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05958027175425708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820839278304034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048850945742450434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18835431023788868,0.1737062608149512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464418324712481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19747077953413408,0.0,0.08957897768555734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07095017164065331,0.09447469983206742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0602333339615473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19251576095420164,0.0,0.0,0.07761424916568804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09583713290057344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023497708873008,0.0,0.0,0.08776694105251981,0.0,0.20138730702326074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124304950793892,0.0,0.19982941333414908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291593199547456,0.0,0.0,0.07431499553543396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086992775680928,0.08377661787281462,0.0,0.0668332959694318,0.0,0.0,0.08183684084130607,0.4066082408272733,0.10320671812619092,0.0,0.0,0.08733276948943403,0.07056775786429706,0.051831759150160285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354272251567466,0.0,0.07334254802723733,0.0,0.0,0.1426024261964525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020829308969067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314403495725543,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Mika6x,2019/10/21,"Lithium and nursing I’m at a loss sometimes. I’m breastfeeding my son, and was told I can’t take any of my meds-severe bipolar 1- because of it, so I felt okay and said okay no problem I’ll be fine. Well that was dumb. I’ve been reading up on lithium and I’m thinking about mentioning it to my psychiatrist. Does anyone know or have input on taking it while nursing? The research I’ve done goes back and forth. Thank you!",-0.05591511936339444,2.283744770114944,1.8039080459770145,94.04920424403187,95.55172413793105,4.056233421750664,22.784261715296196,5.8734145424116955,0.4048733863837315,333,14,69,3,13,109,63,87,0.11900000000000001,0.757,0.125,-0.2582,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,4,8,1,0,2,2,7,1,0,0,0,10,18,8,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,3,1,0,7,2,6,5,8,10,0,6,0,1,0,0,5,4,1,1,2,38,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17403881211955471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17894977586565147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967916992209955,0.0,0.15601043334193154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22396302543131327,0.26190168939946623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457295972620201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14065052429525154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24488711942101055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25599578091826736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434447304957824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28912412504124985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531178758313746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3848497905460933,0.0,0.0,0.23562275808704494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16398738244121394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445487607578612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301086802260187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,psychiatricpenguin,2019/10/21,"Lithium vs. Lamictal for rapid cycling cyclothymia? Looking for those with personal experience with taking these meds. I am recently diagnosed; psychiatrist is pushing for lithium but regular doctor is advising against it as I only have one kidney (kidney cancer). Psychiatrist says we can stay at a low dose and it'd be fine. But I'm wondering if I should ask for lamictal instead. My symptoms are mainly depression, and my hypomania manifests as severe agitation/irritability/racing and intrusive thoughts. Would love to hear opinions. Thanks!",7.7883426966292095,11.07105169662922,8.37122191011236,54.85997893258428,65.74157303370787,12.09044943820225,42.585674157303366,11.45678717892309,6.7775719101123615,447,28,54,17,8,148,71,89,0.113,0.763,0.124,0.2598,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,10,8,2,0,0,15,19,8,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,1,4,6,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,3,6,3,11,14,1,5,0,2,1,1,7,2,0,3,1,40,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21280915124981886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960627557922064,0.2310459869911804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23299533246840745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22267191796393596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565625811328311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911571058909296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054505897517996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528525403566853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15425220422241978,0.17312761452745298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19876318021045405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22476331998911306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18102547085566031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571641516624205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24262993872504765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366012086980771,0.17115411916789394,0.0,0.0,0.2095768614506646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807177435097799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24686178672884104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16170625026122942,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mosthrowthefuck,2019/10/21,"I don't want to be committed but also kinda do I just want a couple days somewhere where I don't know anyone and no one expects anything of me and I don't have to lie about how I'm doing. But a psych hold would most likely ruin my life and I don't actually need it. 

idk. that's all I can say really",-0.3649159663865511,1.387051500000002,2.9485714285714306,91.22500000000004,85.47058823529412,5.650420168067227,17.067226890756302,6.868970318607317,-0.08827142857142832,234,5,55,3,7,85,49,68,0.201,0.774,0.025,-0.8724,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,10,1,0,1,2,18,15,7,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,1,8,1,4,13,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,2,39,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.3185307176537441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610313053731624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282346385594264,0.0,0.2686090034503386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3611683193536907,0.0,0.21050853249871926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17938732485376788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305542252029874,0.15946826087169785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24203012737478535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221185004346726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20910768270495309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595756719323283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.385052135937881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318734947563507,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sociopath_in_me,2019/01/13,"It's over My brother gave up the fight and killed himself. He was very depressed, officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder and in a very bad state. We tried multiple terapists, letting him living alone, letting him living with us and nothing worked. He did not want to fight and made plans about making plans which he simply ignored later. There was nothing we could do and yet I feel like there was something we did not think of and should have done. We totally fucked up and couldn't support him the way he needed it. It fucking sucks, everything fucking sucks. Our society fucking sucks at dealing with people like him. Fuck it.",5.764801932367147,7.857272417391307,5.0924637681159455,81.31077294685994,68.30434782608697,7.545893719806764,32.77777777777778,8.167268648758528,2.616314009661836,508,23,85,7,9,153,76,115,0.308,0.657,0.035,-0.9892,0,1,1,0,2,0,13.0,6,0,0,3,4,17,11,0,3,0,13,7,0,2,1,27,29,7,1,5,2,1,1,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,14,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,14,0,0,8,1,13,3,11,16,1,9,0,1,0,5,20,5,8,0,4,58,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402827266375191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309297701374565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814378066457253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13964039064458594,0.11666070455815733,0.13747632750960953,0.0,0.0,0.15523453140658253,0.0,0.0,0.1386097847456169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121731449327827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848630888255462,0.09676369724311283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6260950017628363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985255364371106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770084230058774,0.0,0.1323455809851489,0.0,0.23920518914069105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816366793314826,0.0904122357600533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043258027720324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25993099459064617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390221895310898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427407719670323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15370418003673808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678926750451173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09195993885456848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16292662518111395,0.0,0.0,0.2235166903957776,0.07989042515687785,0.10751189447133523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09860736889750032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ellie-cake,2019/01/13,"songs for when you’re depressed radiohead - how to disappear completely
the killers - smile like you mean it
third eye blind - jumper & the background
the all american rejects - move along
fall out boy - i’ve got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your mouth (yes that’s the title)

what do you guys listen to?",2.120645161290323,4.944085822580647,1.8970161290322598,95.26552419354843,85.93548387096773,5.680645161290323,20.65322580645161,7.1686216300943375,0.6001548387096771,259,8,52,4,8,76,53,62,0.261,0.667,0.07200000000000001,-0.9315,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,4,0,0,2,4,0,0,6,1,2,3,2,1,1,8,5,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,0,2,4,3,0,0,2,1,0,3,0,3,0,1,1,5,4,1,5,3,1,6,0,2,2,0,8,2,0,0,2,26,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3462172919387516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26679934354453205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3350275805364063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752160232706222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555622544418333,0.0,0.0,0.3163910322208025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36071742648028265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15610922561338966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34806854953379496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3396163652743152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541079767969229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,unehtlanvhi,2018/11/19,"I think my husband is bipolar He sleeps a lot, sits online all night and then is super active and can't be inactive. Shopping addiction.",2.649102564102563,5.435423653846158,4.128461538461536,80.89987179487181,81.69230769230771,6.5435897435897425,27.89743589743589,7.793537801064563,2.2929128205128206,109,5,18,2,3,36,24,26,0.0,0.7609999999999999,0.239,0.765,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,3,1,1,1,6,5,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,4,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,12,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5316924133623787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4146464882749197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.457697021551335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4880773874645555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31251458788827313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,secretbarrister,2018/11/19,"I know this is bad; Anyone not on meds? Anyone who has been diagnosed should be on meds. But has anyone tried holding off? What happened? 

Is there a possibility - if you're already high functioning - of having a good life anyway? 

",2.8435714285714297,5.736265738095242,3.9812380952380977,81.48042857142859,82.09523809523809,6.217142857142857,22.685714285714287,7.554174236665415,1.350908571428572,179,6,31,3,5,58,35,42,0.10300000000000001,0.83,0.067,-0.3736,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,8,2,0,0,0,6,10,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,4,7,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,0,23,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26443435889406625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5026583208341637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000785400796748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432163661258536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20098776289971015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21190136928028566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253179087384236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169273524688865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16925564035507626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5323431653767807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27014344369575305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16269100697209454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FakeNewsGiraffe,2018/11/19,"Headaches and migraines? I'm currently on 600mg depakine/depakote and 300mg of wellbutrin XR.

I wake up often with a headache that sometimes goes away. Other times it just lowkey stays there for the rest of the day and I feel in a fog. All the medications I tried before this gave me varying levels of headaches and I'm positive some were migraines. My dad suffers from them, and my cousin who was also diagnosed with bipolar is having serious migraine troubles (same side of the family, we're all quite mentally fucked).

I guess I'm here wondering if anyone else is having a similar problem and what they did to help it? Did the headaches go away after awhile? We just upped my wellbutrin dose... so far I'm liking my meds because I feel more stable than I ever have before mood wise, but it's really hard to do things some days and at least for once it's not because of depression... but still rather annoying. I never have such intense problems except on meds.",4.800559006211182,6.489976695652175,4.991149068322984,82.68739130434784,70.08695652173913,7.86583850931677,29.990683229813666,8.418075326091056,2.281561801242236,768,31,140,12,14,241,125,184,0.10099999999999999,0.8440000000000001,0.055,-0.7983,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,2,1,11,11,2,0,8,0,11,9,1,0,4,32,22,12,0,4,8,2,3,1,0,0,7,0,0,0,10,10,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,8,0,0,5,3,15,2,23,17,8,21,0,2,0,1,8,11,1,6,9,98,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12659280672908735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068735011201902,0.16219751049152198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29745695344871226,0.0,0.0,0.1929969609954763,0.0,0.2694040344933469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20418137917471446,0.0,0.13634393922372715,0.160671617008169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223970709626098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14319181317393928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14923156887431024,0.0,0.16008292031676244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14634620833457418,0.0,0.0,0.08996578954640584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17438578443812155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418061031650449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10610544982307184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733760017441221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3516722108251353,0.15947104183583585,0.15952961344688474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220910602210101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16858480496714673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3029442891912563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16837200625747503,0.0,0.0,0.101411317023422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15656318543138018,0.0,0.0,0.1687272092331752,0.12641893791965525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516778003732076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230626107971593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747560938957346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17167007731998696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,beckzstarrr,2018/11/19,"Cognitive side effects from Meds? I’ve been noticing a significant decline in my ability to remember things (the other night I could not remember that I had gone out, where I ate, who I was with), recalling information or words, word jumbling when speaking (words in my sentences coming out out of order), and general inability to focus or retain information. I do a lot of reading for my job and come up empty handed any time I have to recall any work related information in meetings and presentations.

I’ve been on Lamictal for 6 months (now on 250mg), Latuda (40mg) for 4 months, Adderall XR (15mg) for a year and Wellbutrin (400 mg SR) for four years. I just stopped taking Topamax for my migraines because I thought this was causing it, but it’s actually getting worse.

Is this a common side effect of any of these meds my doctor didn’t tell me about? ",8.349074074074075,7.273770296296298,8.842067901234572,67.73680555555558,62.086419753086425,11.803703703703706,40.003086419753096,10.9516,4.4624049382716064,676,32,119,15,8,227,110,162,0.062,0.909,0.027999999999999997,-0.7236,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,5,0,10,4,1,3,0,32,17,8,0,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,9,10,1,2,8,1,0,3,2,0,0,1,9,2,14,0,25,7,1,27,0,0,0,0,7,12,0,3,11,77,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.1634706524857513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34174820264797384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10211569963354188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720842352621779,0.0,0.28859899157419666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337472413456229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714588861736566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751976823748517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662329693142861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424154166479141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.372143205414772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674180388751333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15720164975694875,0.0,0.0,0.19071714406761747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675605131767666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3795240903099305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14005019230787194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12595056873312896,0.0,0.14641565189028516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128964292519786,0.0,0.0,0.13298834223730582,0.0976794492731158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12195304700227973,0.0,0.17071228085460774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21574856897042652
bipolarreddit,opscurus_,2018/11/19,"Doctor considering ECT After nearly six weeks of hell, I'm finally on the upswing.

That aside, my doctor and I have come to the conclusion that I am not responsive to my antidepressant medications and have begun the process to have be evaluated for ECT.

Has anyone undergone this procedure? Experiences? What to expect?",6.249818181818185,9.198196163636368,7.580000000000003,60.31000000000003,69.18181818181819,11.672727272727276,32.81818181818181,11.20814326018867,5.112381818181818,259,12,37,10,5,88,41,55,0.127,0.873,0.0,-0.8047,0,0,0,1,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,3,0,6,3,0,0,0,6,8,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,4,0,9,7,0,7,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,4,30,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300693505060694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834350451021408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6735637830293547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32185996571096026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3604424300263987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3314687629848051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639325209809781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ryanguy86,2018/11/19,"type 1 Bi-polar: getting over cancer, just got divorced, moved in with parents and my seroquil doesn't seem to want to work. FML! I think this is probably the most depressed I have ever been in my life.  One would think after being in remission from kidney cancer at 32 that the person would be happy, but sadly I am angry and depressed that the cancer didn't take me.  When I had cancer I went off my seroquil and smoked pot in its place.  I turned into a paranoid asshole and ruined all my relationships.  My wife a week after my surgery booted me out of the house and filed for divorce.  The bitch even stole my fucking dog.  I am so angry and pissed off at the world that I got fucking cancer at 32.   I think it was due to Yerba-Mate which I drank in place taking these god damn pills that rarely work.  I welcome death but I am to much of a pussy to kill myself.  I hate my life, situation, and state of being/mind so much right now.  I'm not sure what else to say.  I just needed to vent maybe with people that might ""get it.""",3.5054967948717963,4.53896688942308,4.341076923076926,88.6372564102564,72.41346153846153,6.315897435897437,22.52051282051282,6.079149491110277,0.3283143589743585,795,18,166,4,15,256,127,208,0.33,0.634,0.036000000000000004,-0.9977,1,0,1,0,2,2,25.0,0,0,0,2,8,14,7,0,9,0,15,13,2,0,3,29,34,12,2,4,5,2,0,0,0,3,8,1,0,1,12,11,1,0,4,0,0,2,3,11,0,1,8,1,25,3,29,21,4,27,0,4,0,2,8,17,5,3,7,113,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372205601974064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11503986747163322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09095681486744037,0.12456748107103605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254623195732433,0.14389662445069093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202801292001488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14659591724528948,0.0,0.13596109933946907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589000013367181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15235681482041669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19453869984117286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13834920630376368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608960574106766,0.13904885017983287,0.0,0.0,0.14636499624035482,0.20246685634525804,0.10211095949430056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331653569153216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15291176539315035,0.0,0.0,0.09547146602706867,0.12024393099450716,0.2877573635652862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14847574664553292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478500740911013,0.0,0.11760443916893687,0.0,0.10951331228836582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253669197877958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547929307177191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297909851185586,0.0,0.2070830630991028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647189394387628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14979002024558666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122551411763425,0.0,0.11046345535476733,0.0,0.0,0.1276594740721054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20051049218373426,0.0,0.0,0.19565188257909646,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,windofchaos,2018/11/19,"How to ask for work accomodations? I just started a new job, which I'm very excited about  however it's ~45 hours per week and I'm having a hard time coping. I get home from work and immidetly go to bed and sleep untill I have to get up again and on the weekend I hardly have the energy to do anything. I've been here before and I know it gets worse, I don't want to end up back there. 

So to those of you who have had to ask for accommodations how did you go about it? Did you email or do it in person? Do I contact HR or the manager who makes my schedule? Did you do it in person or in writing? What did you say and how specific were you about your condition? Did you ask for specific accommodations or did you let them decide what to offer? Did anyone bring up accommodations on their 90 probation or is that as bad of an idea as it sounds like?",1.6230056179775296,3.374392803370789,3.863356741573035,87.17908005617979,78.8314606741573,7.371348314606742,21.2373595505618,8.278499904357787,0.9726280898876398,661,18,149,13,16,228,101,178,0.057999999999999996,0.9009999999999999,0.04,-0.4858,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,9,2,2,12,3,0,0,6,0,21,1,1,4,0,21,36,18,0,1,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,2,2,13,6,0,0,3,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,10,4,19,2,28,25,0,22,0,0,0,0,23,8,0,5,12,107,32,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11598710335470178,0.0,0.13650504779573966,0.0,0.4652260248025666,0.0,0.0,0.12755142635120892,0.1385028120220973,0.0,0.0,0.14115160206351554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14692038144601186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599962496011688,0.0,0.18854677286873175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971916687405744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16639109394949372,0.0,0.16335831623508934,0.0,0.0,0.18725824902396845,0.0,0.0,0.16461023397785626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116327092007084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16962346625404284,0.0,0.08104055445862665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107261407792829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16020786922605898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2896799116747081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13191437758446084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659997256403573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11741066762414933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09672592065221502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368683138915205,0.09784028000716263,0.0,0.13305887343251366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415251280677513,0.0,0.1690458193118222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,effervescentstarlite,2018/11/19,"Handling wellbutrin side effects? I recently got back on Wellbutrin, 2 extended release...one morning and one mid-afternoon. 
Since I started it I've been having a really hard time eating and only eat when I smoke weed. But it's an issue because I'm at work 80% of the time so I can't smoke.
Has anyone successfully beaten the low to no appetite symptoms?",2.959789915966386,5.537534558823534,4.683865546218488,78.78382352941179,78.41176470588233,6.8268907563025225,30.302521008403357,7.957251820313856,2.5821697478991594,282,14,47,5,7,95,56,68,0.14400000000000002,0.805,0.051,-0.6063,0,0,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,4,3,3,1,0,4,0,4,3,0,1,0,4,7,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,1,4,1,4,5,0,10,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,6,26,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820620343431539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20021426083773916,0.0,0.1587237353921771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5328624660612743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082477095926103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332471379825709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717665099637445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17643856389081433,0.19802885690385827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16680452340775567,0.0,0.2570914146356602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153869968373688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842965673163695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706319672250885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3036564821142745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895579546742042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,VagabondTrampster,2018/11/19,"Hey everyone. I'm about to break down crying and just need to speak about it all I'm a 17 year old high school student, and I'm about to lose it. I've been dealing with BP for a year, and took a 4 month medical leave last year. But I'm just not getting better and nobody cares. I used to get straight A's, but now I struggle just to pass.


I have a cello playing test tomorrow, and I have absolutely no idea how to play the piece. I joined orchestra this year because I really love music and play 5 other instruments and just really was hoping this could help me somehow, but I'm so destroyed. We also have to play two scales, which aren't hard, but I'm sure I'll still find a way to fuck it up. But I'm new to it all and no matter how much help I seek, no one cares. The orchestra teacher is so grumpy and discouraging. I don't know a single person in orchestra who likes being in orchestra. 


And I'm tired of school. I'm just still not mentally recovered after a year of this shit, and nobody gives a fuck. Nobody asks me how I am except my younger sister and cousin (two best friends), nobody asks if my meds are working, if I'm feeling okay, how I'm handling everything, and then when I slip up, I get criticized for it. To be honest, I don't care about school. I don't want to go to college. Everyone's ways asking, but how about we work on me being able to live first? But the level of disappointment in me and apathy everyone in my environment shows the second I slip up or express something remotely close to that is the only thing that keeps me going.


That's not inspiration, it's fear. And I'm scared and that's really all it is. And nobody has any sympathy for that. Because I'm put on the same level as people who are healthy rich and happy. 


I don't want whatever this is. Whatever I'm being pushed towards. But like, how am I even supposed to respond to that? Being pressured into health. Do people think that works?


I just want to be healthy, and happy. And start a family somewhere far away. But I'm afraid. I'm afraid I won't be able to make enough. Or find someone. I'm afraid that if I have biological children they'll have this too. I'm just falling apart.


I've lived in poverty since I was born. During 2008-2009 I lived in a homeless shelter for families. I managed to quit drinking and smoking, all by myself without anyone even knowing I had a problem, but I'm slipping up again and I'm scared. I had an abusive step father. And dealt with other types of abuse...


I have 4 younger sibling, two really young ones, they're 4 and 6, and they're like my own kids to me because their father is such a piece of shit. But I can barely even care for them anymore. 


There's this song, that's just so beautiful, the opening lines are:



""**Daddy, please hear this song that I sing**

**In your heart there's a spark that just screams**

 **For a lover to bring**

**A child to your chest that could lay as you sleep**

**And love all you have left like your boy used to be**

**Long ago, wrapped in sheets warm and wet**""



It just encompasses how I feel so strongly. This feeling of the only thing I'm wanting is to be happy and have a family, and finally have something healthy and stable in my life. And my heart just screams for that. But I'm so scared that it'll never happen. Because I can't succeed. I can't get to college if I don't do well in HS, and if I can't get into college I can't make money, and I can't support myself or others, but I can't even start with step 1 because I'm just not recovered and nobody gives a fuck.


I was in a really nice relationship for 2 years. It was beautiful. It was before my diagnosis. It ended a few months before my diagnosis, and that's okay. It was mutual and there's no hard feelings. But it just makes me think. About how lonely I am. Most days my mom is out working until past 10pm and I'm alone babysitting. And then they go to sleep. And then I'm just alone. And that's just where I am.",0.6230427622980805,2.907770070024569,2.544482199801351,92.24356631292801,86.01474201474201,5.5277118511161065,20.330336138846775,6.947713065588193,0.4215786397616186,3063,95,663,42,94,1018,319,814,0.151,0.675,0.174,0.9756,0,5,3,0,1,0,123.0,2,5,4,11,53,56,6,9,29,2,62,18,7,13,7,140,136,83,0,14,43,5,8,4,2,3,4,6,0,5,46,50,1,2,12,13,2,11,23,22,1,7,10,14,67,34,79,112,15,82,0,4,0,6,41,34,5,11,38,423,113,16,0.11600785967506265,0.13745034396935388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051416984044110416,0.0,0.0,0.12014915648343133,0.0,0.04638572173483115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039444661329028415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057524312277938375,0.0405576964009459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16267753332936866,0.0,0.0544966014549714,0.0,0.0,0.17679328627973387,0.0,0.09871414420087984,0.0,0.0608715458063999,0.0512997623019359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365554889145626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262283630508274,0.0,0.0637145932718127,0.03740773619981745,0.05979950471848254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05682176891406215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0513742653575542,0.05993356494997014,0.0,0.15324419443839385,0.0,0.0,0.16627572199069734,0.052130192022986466,0.0,0.16404282849980098,0.06527054711962213,0.11731411899577247,0.0,0.0,0.06354046992732397,0.10602908208342744,0.049338113088482856,0.0,0.0,0.044813692307507605,0.16087109541577327,0.15152329658096275,0.11128530975103107,0.09889491008327013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05129268359440893,0.18523878567223429,0.10392025600303163,0.0,0.0,0.061655465031254575,0.06537464452411247,0.13746987227101615,0.07775762299946255,0.06128433651008505,0.0,0.05761099012606129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06547937652396736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0515565579591875,0.0,0.0,0.06375488580978572,0.047280944498975866,0.0,0.061417786591639614,0.06302143948568595,0.0,0.04096989102424687,0.11335116090780673,0.0,0.15365559818339206,0.05133165262898992,0.0,0.06489156065755297,0.0,0.0,0.10470162260598204,0.0,0.11615422072334665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06442928999953773,0.05843285698839822,0.05845431860633589,0.0,0.0,0.06793350158790275,0.09259636681309516,0.0,0.042639562448291216,0.043009179009403216,0.04473620651955281,0.05602055688245229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06086536705325835,0.0,0.07860992802282865,0.08822920479724998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05537131431138994,0.08042524314694235,0.050646794218261584,0.0,0.06367089670838773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055501927252684186,0.0,0.058309970279640425,0.0,0.061694319227065225,0.0,0.0,0.1857940136471572,0.0,0.0,0.06227451328074761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17421615790422745,0.17610922103280865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190804008787133,0.04798145015767799,0.0,0.1160916391639331,0.0,0.04914654152147343,0.08930851800909692,0.0,0.0,0.08211096016718626,0.0,0.0926440265899664,0.0,0.0,0.06063830146956385,0.0,0.0,0.06582217220196364,0.05466801742356021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707046721415653,0.07433315228771044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666698462546439,0.0,0.0,0.06444450029085877,0.0,0.0,0.16998423345186428,0.0,0.0,0.10019354377006394,0.0,0.0,0.13684888259271047,0.09208163928866628,0.0,0.0,0.052152498915873584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055913718488317,0.0,0.16891020698077203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22411577449097408
bipolarreddit,889Anon889,2018/11/19,Long Term Effects of Latuda? I was on 40mg of Latuda for over two years but changed meds several months back. I'm just now starting to see doctors about some physical symptoms I'm having and I'm wondering i they could be left over from the Latuda. Are there any symptoms that can last even after talking it?,3.7416393442622966,5.5825861147541005,4.2565245901639335,86.27495081967214,73.09836065573771,6.847213114754098,28.593442622950818,7.554174236665415,1.7232006557377049,247,10,47,3,5,78,50,61,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,0,1,0,6,3,0,1,0,7,12,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,3,0,10,9,2,13,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,2,9,31,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15718255868480244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17773175095126167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445145892095151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845458157396116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365807301621643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15266523893115294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18840926967001087,0.0,0.0,0.251133379691856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20455088800081334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567435063492265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184493076758752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18418798926769372,0.0,0.0,0.26112146594214924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636014910545835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4804841892584398,0.0,0.1857809058862124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22578937892393486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506605653199713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14884604442947733
bipolarreddit,Proto_Ubermensch,2019/01/23,"Will You Take Medications For The Rest of Your Life? It’s been 2 years since I was hospitalized for a manic/psychotic episode where I was diagnosed with bipolar. Over the course of 5 months post-hospitalization I tried a myriad of medical concoctions including lithium, abilify, latuda, and many others whose name I’ve since forgotten. Whether due to the depressive episode that came directly after my manic one or the terrible side effects I decided I would go off medications.

So now it’s been 19 months since I’ve taken any medications. I’ve avoided drugs, alcohol, and other stressors. I make sure to sleep 8-10 hours a day, eat healthy, drink lots of water, workout, meditate, etc. and it seems like I’ve been stable. I still get occasional periods of depression which I easily ride out or bursts of hypomania which makes life easier however all delusions/serious effects have all but disappeared.

I recognize however that can be an illusion and at any point, things can spin outside of my control. So recently I got a pdoc to write a prescription for Latuda, however, I haven’t picked up the medication yet because I’m starting to question whether I should get back on it.

This is primarily because I feel like the effects of long-term medication use can have irreversible consequences on the brain. It doesn’t help that we have had 0 longitudinal studies showing the effects of staying on these medications for 20+ years (if there are, I'd love to see them!). So given that I’m currently stable, I am having a hard time convincing myself to start taking medications indefinitely. I understand some people cannot function without their medication, however, I’m lucky to not be part of that cohort (for now).

Anyways I’m not advocating that anyone stop taking medications but I am curious how others view this topic, do you intend on sticking with medications for the rest of your life?",8.186407624633432,8.793878923753669,8.742197947214077,62.75329692082114,61.81524926686218,12.919706744868035,39.630645161290325,12.340626583579946,5.515378768328446,1527,77,244,52,20,511,203,341,0.062,0.8270000000000001,0.111,0.9604,5,1,3,0,0,0,45.0,1,4,2,5,12,10,0,1,16,0,26,24,2,11,3,48,50,15,0,3,10,0,2,2,0,3,18,0,0,0,21,9,4,3,9,3,0,4,6,4,0,1,10,4,26,6,37,35,8,37,0,2,2,1,13,12,0,9,22,160,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773815749543606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847913789592316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050628993151861326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05567688220902296,0.0,0.08827785475649402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083069359779081,0.0,0.08281486685711292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121114507623957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04669683408949781,0.0,0.12472891180916107,0.07349206742209083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093176399337131,0.0839696882467859,0.07409092796977929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075347957999614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03661139718425359,0.05172791774863604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565983895245196,0.0,0.041150839172110466,0.0,0.05791087582259314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486287926099346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04853320715538703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130678182964269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15343063212416988,0.07074927398025291,0.0,0.0,0.06407834073550203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06155824966703055,0.06535057713217908,0.0,0.09666510950105728,0.0734098193048839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8023720962279158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11558991849345017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04906518195943794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841024412917051,0.0,0.05019822926171372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06844847219544206,0.0,0.06934634998597053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111294815433354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149365060074996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05769938645113747,0.06591704980793278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796886455853641,0.0,0.0724597712122778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250077319234226,0.07717673891509587,0.057824706578686186,0.06053589496787035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682431924239838,0.0,0.16332423985276465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048104311919269664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04222138352168756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049159925558521285,0.0,0.0,0.07537873963878207,0.0,0.06253681411349805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979822627140336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05143619589127688,0.0,0.0,0.0932560855179059
bipolarreddit,RTPTL,2019/01/23,Lamotragine and menstrual cycles Has anyone experienced way shorter menstrual cycles after starting lamotragine?  I’m usually on a  25-26 day cycle and lately it’s been 19-20 which is not normal. ,4.984705882352942,8.388226588235298,7.160294117647062,58.866323529411794,77.23529411764707,10.458823529411768,32.029411764705884,10.125756701596842,5.1853176470588265,160,8,19,6,4,56,30,34,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,5,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,4,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,11,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2986573663086759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754617979917281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4818182422243693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4184941040430548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3023229286271361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4704204193000003,0.0,0.0,0.3390338001876406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ladylove590,2019/06/02,Intrusive Thoughts? I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder for about three years now. I’ve been relatively stable on medication until the end of 2018. I came off of abilify because of weight gain. I thought taking my Prozac would be fine. It causes mania but I’m not reckless while manic I guess. Idk it sounds stupid saying it out loud. I started to take my Prozac maybe every three to five days. Idk it was just when I happen to think about it. 40mg. But I started taking 40mg full time again. But the third day I had severe intrusive thoughts. Panic inducing thoughts. Has anyone else experienced this? I have high anxiety around these obsessive thoughts and sometimes I just cry hysterically when I’m not obsessing. Other times I feel nothing and my mind is completely blank.,3.3788357843137256,6.3897690486111145,3.938529411764709,81.9123529411765,80.7361111111111,7.277124183006535,26.52614379084968,8.313332769828598,2.289129575163399,629,26,109,14,17,198,99,144,0.175,0.755,0.07,-0.9499,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,9,5,1,3,2,0,9,6,0,2,0,25,26,9,0,1,7,0,2,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,8,6,1,0,8,0,0,1,2,4,0,4,10,6,13,1,15,14,1,21,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,14,66,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053058843891567,0.0,0.0,0.09625174679906293,0.14104406416332768,0.0,0.12254235119412014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391335868066868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15744092662517997,0.0,0.14140985380959534,0.0,0.0,0.14432890365924128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120782103543648,0.1775524880622656,0.0,0.0,0.1397171743872747,0.0,0.0,0.15776483477814984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149932922897704,0.0,0.12192168737344387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11598047955025967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069602627118591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15164276994712736,0.0,0.12172807708719754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14544032240400376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13829319407438798,0.0,0.0,0.13867317561610795,0.0,0.0,0.13899255469177926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13208391858351232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16150876860040547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10946897459441388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555112429862091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614455551555948,0.0,0.19486617951150767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104988347942247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882039216680712,0.0,0.5464144349279377,0.16053575879125273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676270018703856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778633535895567,0.0,0.0,0.08864546351749086
bipolarreddit,bmccarti1,2019/06/02,"Latuda withdrawal or early psychosis/mania? I lowered my dose of latuda a week ago from 40mg to 30mg to try and bring back my libido. The first 4 days I was fine, but the last two days I’ve felt strange. 

I’ve had 2-3 rage moments where I get way too mad about things. I’ve had headaches and some occasional return of depression. I’ve been tired and generally irritable. And my head just feels...strained and weird. 

Am I experiencing withdrawals due to the lower dose or is this something worse? Is this mania/psychosis slowly returning? 

I’ve been stable for 15 years so I’ve forgotten what it’s like to have an episode! I’d like to stay at 30mg because my libido is returning, but I’m afraid of what may be happening instead.

I’m also on Wellbutrin 300mg for the last month and trileptal to stabilize my moods.",3.5058565361019336,5.142442049079758,4.647239263803684,84.07655969797077,73.29447852760737,7.7147711184520995,27.875884851344967,8.384062270229773,1.9085473336479468,646,25,130,11,13,212,104,163,0.221,0.711,0.068,-0.9827,2,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,8,9,2,1,6,0,12,4,1,0,0,15,18,12,0,0,5,0,1,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,0,2,6,2,9,3,15,10,1,22,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,4,18,68,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961172657219392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17692677009934105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17012107869412066,0.0,0.13486678204786295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853649655554289,0.0,0.19055500397505729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124265622928607,0.0,0.0,0.18818793079135154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11558956703154487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956431526486685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22705763602600695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3606827482504604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21617487058921508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765928769722351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703225372242434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358140318461096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14698304051620156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25428459062196324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502084749131838,0.0,0.21612082531471105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17561122707036406,0.17746660876873172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254640183393452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424722904161314
bipolarreddit,mlacuna96,2019/05/15,"He lied and betrayed me and blamed my mental illness, I'm utterly destroyed. He promised me he didn't care about my disorder, especially since I've been stable a long time. I treated him so lovingly so different then my last relationships since I got help. I spent thousands on him, my parents let him move in and helped him. He needed a lot of guidance in his life, I helped him stay on time to work at his new job since he got fired from his last one. I kept him on track to get his GED, to achieve his dreams.

He told everyone we were perfect, because we never fought, we communicated well. We just got along so well and were in love. One night he ghosts me to hang out with his old toxic friends and we get into a fight and he doesn't come home or respond. He finally did, I was a sobbing mess and told him what he did wasnt cool, and that I'm sorry for being emotional, but ghosting is not cool. He agreed but seemed different.

The next day he ghosted me again to go their house, I had to show up there after he ignored my messages and replied to everyone else. I told him just break up with me, dont string me along and give me false hope. So he did. 

He then tells me finally that its because I'm bipolar and unmedicated and because of that 1 fight, he lost everything for me. Then goes onto to say that yes you may have thought it was because of this girl, but its not but we are talking. It hadnt even been a full 24 hours.

The best part is he did this with me to his ex. He left his ex for me and I was stupid enough to think he wouldn't do the same. 

I'm utterly broken, I was so stable and still feel stable just emotionally crushed. It feels so shitty for him to blame it on this. On the plus side his ex and I are now friends and I apologized to her. On the downside I've never felt more alone, I was building a life with him.

Just need to get it off my chest.",2.391387674284303,3.7186273913043486,3.5433545087039033,92.12344031020542,75.59846547314578,6.88659351538652,24.63336358386272,7.4822170145007005,0.8736983912218461,1454,47,336,18,31,471,189,391,0.147,0.733,0.12,-0.8931,4,1,0,0,2,0,40.0,6,1,1,5,18,23,5,0,11,3,29,7,1,0,3,61,61,31,3,4,11,4,4,0,2,2,4,1,1,1,15,32,0,2,6,2,1,4,10,9,2,3,29,7,58,14,46,28,7,47,0,2,0,2,73,19,1,5,22,214,73,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767123640510947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22994909813047654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09896697263324043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614993461850334,0.0,0.0,0.08123515540706006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06081873485738845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970566957052977,0.10808136524481836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052441512447846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877948239956055,0.21216020627789184,0.0,0.09744197233106268,0.0,0.062287370052269024,0.0,0.0,0.18022437916683132,0.08475499051253019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09536658754381963,0.0,0.09054730838181,0.20661239549923044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14571916653134406,0.0,0.14781095252997392,0.0904656688006602,0.053595538660521136,0.0,0.2262722690319743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18963137321718604,0.0,0.09459531099739556,0.09366585335804532,0.0928711408854596,0.1088149711375742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358287097514899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537418469767836,0.0,0.0,0.10246234088951872,0.09643295300184687,0.1332204079942121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08345669875231154,0.0,0.0,0.10294472856989748,0.08017449015084427,0.1702273612708658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503696469623306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023097990852613,0.0,0.13985149171467987,0.14546720861720214,0.0910800743834838,0.10029412654327023,0.08849857983629722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895692701200696,0.0,0.12780662117698896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104714217733655,0.10212280855390224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124796355929144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499488870731058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585146408783118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340294862772576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055663994728918,0.0,0.10051627080840476,0.07531186141816712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579855188120972,0.0824264712115284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06042664886150208,0.0,0.0748674040061389,0.10997966692115167,0.0,0.0,0.27033656875024703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16958251559367188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06865495039713408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sexualizedeggplant,2019/05/15,"Holy fuck I'm broken I'm sorry if this is weird and scatter brained but I guess it's partially venting and partially I have no clue what's wrong with me. Over the last few weeks I've been restricted to a very small section of my wardrobe because other things make me feel exposed/uncomfortable. I tried to wear a simple t shirt to work one night and ended up changing in tears because I couldn't bear it. For the past week or so I've only been able to wear my favorite hoodie. It's just a simple hoodie but it's one of few things I feel okay in. Last night that wasn't the case. I don't know what happened but after feeling weird for a few days I just broke. Previously mentioned hoodie was unbearable, I was hyper aware of everything touching my body and the things happening inside, coworkers speaking to me made me feel overwhelmed. Overall it was a horrible night. I managed to tough it out all night at work but once I got home I collapsed in my bed and cried for a long time. It's new and unfamiliar to me. I've never felt this and I'm scared it may continue for longer.",2.2371624266144816,4.398188136986303,3.4022570123939992,89.2445205479452,78.58904109589041,6.36320939334638,24.583822570123946,7.447530270364453,1.1369219830397914,858,31,176,12,21,277,123,219,0.191,0.7659999999999999,0.043,-0.9838,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,3,9,1,2,10,1,11,6,5,2,2,31,27,14,0,2,8,0,6,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,17,9,0,1,6,0,0,0,5,8,0,2,9,7,20,1,23,16,5,26,0,2,0,1,2,9,1,4,17,106,37,3,0.12919002522015816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15750608055149345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14350099421317794,0.0,0.14421879385226186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13666591669689532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419091764081054,0.08331687864287511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11442401671403718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11610766444696365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612894339089753,0.0,0.12404268391271492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943409657570395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332506490196393,0.0,0.14231737779223347,0.0,0.2284846252911511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12958812880662185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07099945924995854,0.2106142266348055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11432910694683107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12224272554744325,0.08623534501144202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996393117622116,0.1247725313916306,0.0,0.4849443483872025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375831605531634,0.17508500910662225,0.09825483570542452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12332649722869575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12934175262749809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14461765629081813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574843367772239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07533174262453646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877115468685115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659530068059556,0.0,0.0,0.2072568912188348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881037540120989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412490119883215,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,finance0729,2019/05/15,"The mania from hell is over. Flying back to the US and getting help. I’m posting as an update. I recently had a manic episode that was triggered by the overuse of benzodiazepines and alcohol.  I said some extremely hurtful things to my family and somehow ended up on another continent overnight with basically no remembrance as the end result. 

Roughly 8 months ago I did the same exact thing which was what led up to an inpatient stay and the diagnosis of my illness.  

This illness is no fucking joke.  Because when the mania clears and you start to see the destruction you have caused yourself and to others around you that same illness tells you that maybe you just don’t want to live anymore. The shame, the guilt, humiliation, money spent, recklessness, and the anxiety you experience tells you to just give up.

Well I’m not giving up. I really want to right now because I have done so much damage but when I was first diagnosed I promised that I would not let it defeat me.  I’ve spent the past few days in a hotel room drinking and experiencing the sheer definition of anxiety. 

This morning I woke up extremely sick.  Sick from drinking, sick from not eating and sick of this life.  It’s time to come home and continue battling this illness head on.  I am flying this evening back to the USA and going to get evaluated and back on my medication.  My family now knows how serious mental illness is and wants to get more involved so something like this does not happen again.",6.401943434343437,7.471098869090913,6.716696969696969,74.11860101010102,65.76363636363637,10.03838383838384,33.823232323232325,10.125756701596842,3.5231898989899,1179,51,207,27,18,381,160,275,0.198,0.741,0.062,-0.9901,0,0,4,0,0,1,23.0,1,7,0,2,17,14,4,2,18,0,15,18,1,5,2,39,36,21,0,4,7,0,1,1,0,1,13,1,2,0,17,16,4,0,1,4,3,3,7,10,1,1,10,4,23,4,34,24,6,38,1,3,1,1,15,13,2,2,21,150,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572139696583713,0.1274582197580404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250599530996945,0.18247509140479692,0.0,0.11827902329520855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617130687811924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27512271334199345,0.0,0.1454059085506831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251820564977794,0.0,0.1027364027452472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07691618250073577,0.0,0.0,0.12105165971980153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436977353695703,0.12204969976149901,0.0,0.23366896753457997,0.0,0.12203806635906565,0.0,0.0,0.21126712127007294,0.0,0.0,0.07877353472848793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166642433116783,0.2248652180292262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144691168385128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11025874851125292,0.1869334215363396,0.2288200801229717,0.06778115727833306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546581571325626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240049535702187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799409444279504,0.0,0.1196327122136056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767585510902535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554503065976734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219567396389841,0.08424053244557489,0.058266948663266566,0.0,0.1053133498821667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981791604412807,0.0,0.0,0.12014713395516738,0.1201912624133354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519633867520504,0.0,0.08767363920408236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385212123318103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422308632439808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076404336177385,0.0,0.11775998918281826,0.0,0.0,0.10185182261054364,0.11344850937639595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503891698418776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09181617183896132,0.0,0.0,0.08441651699790327,0.12712082630330174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20848606987514035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15846898860696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954449276290547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14346134165783014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21103710150283125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723373109389957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472257075789258,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,littlestjetpack,2019/05/15,"People who have checked themselves into inpatient anything - how was your experience and did it help? I’m pretty much grasping at straws. My mental health has taken a giant backslide in the last few months. A few triggers have escalated it, but overall it’s lifestyle choices perpetuating bad decisions and making me feel like a useless pile of shit who ruins everything. Had a suicide attempt scare. I am on meds, I do take them, but maybe they aren’t right anymore. I only have a family doctor here. My therapist is helpful but I’m so stupid self aware that I feel like I’m a giant idiot for not being able to fix this on my own. So, I’ve been thinking of checking myself in somewhere. I don’t even know what that entails, if I’m being honest. So just looking for people to share their experiences. Thanks!",3.766363636363636,6.097911090909093,4.944155844155844,79.20766233766237,74.45454545454545,6.7376623376623375,28.532467532467532,7.7094869923839395,2.0332909090909097,644,27,110,9,14,212,111,154,0.21100000000000002,0.6509999999999999,0.138,-0.9601,1,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,1,3,1,7,12,3,1,7,0,15,3,1,3,0,18,28,10,1,1,6,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,9,3,0,0,6,0,2,0,3,7,0,0,5,3,14,5,12,21,4,11,0,2,1,0,10,9,1,1,4,75,23,1,0.167500314653656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16611530345923767,0.0,0.0,0.13783848700821094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398557662429856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714436696440676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063237809564884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15053848232806866,0.3276948970434531,0.1579043895092163,0.0,0.1693863838204437,0.23932451651343445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17804500180900434,0.0,0.0,0.22454386031449386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09205379242198528,0.13653511241192073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16366438594415486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14065807827684415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11180776069257464,0.0,0.16827657964208173,0.0,0.18605508933726292,0.0,0.1688009206764297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13369715311033226,0.0,0.12313200410365445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273915371473579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322472558487423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17040803745287245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304435350805178,0.0,0.0,0.16769703563445704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17473935864500512,0.0,0.17193666594777818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18321815782993436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12593939094818793,0.0,0.0,0.1542117853560874,0.0,0.19448077539851868,0.0,0.1073274382637894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,JayThorns,2019/05/15,"Anyone else ever feel like maybe your real personality is just meh... So I have been on the prescription roller coaster for about a year or so now and I was thinking maybe my ""stable"" is me being meh. Maybe that IS my REAL personality. Maybe just maybe I am trying to reach for something or expect something that isn't attainable because I am the meh. Its my personality and not a stage.   


I dunno...it was a long work day, just thinking out loud here on reddit.",3.184185393258428,5.3233321797752815,4.791446629213485,80.52514747191012,75.51685393258427,6.6971910112359545,23.484550561797754,7.645422480735847,1.176785393258427,360,11,68,5,8,121,56,89,0.032,0.924,0.044000000000000004,0.25,0,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,2,9,1,0,0,5,0,11,0,0,0,1,16,14,6,0,1,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,3,3,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,10,1,7,10,0,9,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,2,6,49,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058428389623572,0.14739281793295367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769051339757301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277228964488672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12016943424396835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13012187908851489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727356192364537,0.10276751008228678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027855598606446,0.0,0.0,0.12730401327174146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7225906207569673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3768166326107004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3274689037770473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22148776007824691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843484111793592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766569708120557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047255744259286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263562236611288
bipolarreddit,tarotharo,2019/05/15,"Mirtazapine/remeron 3 month UPDATE: Im still depressed, why isn't it working? Idk if any of you care or will find anything of use of this update but Im on month 3 and my depression is worse and I occasionally get suicidal ideation, but Im staying on it so that I don't become underweight ( it makes you hungry)

To give context I first was prescribed Zoloft to help and it had almost immediate effects, after day 3 I wasn't depressed anymore and it was smooth sailing, but my appetite decrease got so bad that I had people asking if I had anorexia so I switched over and my weight is normal.  I don't feel any different to how I was before I even started any meds, so Im confused as to how it effects people to make them happier.

Im asking have any of you tried remeron ? What do the effects feel like for you?",1.7452977044476334,4.042129103658539,3.6418651362984207,86.13469870875181,81.13414634146342,5.810043041606886,27.329985652797703,7.048011613610866,1.4829882352941182,639,29,125,8,17,215,90,164,0.18100000000000002,0.735,0.084,-0.9688,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,4,1,5,8,7,0,1,1,0,15,2,0,8,0,25,27,18,1,3,6,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,10,5,1,0,6,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,8,4,18,2,15,18,0,13,0,3,0,0,9,3,0,5,10,79,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364955891772988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.308723898321203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11255724688921304,0.0,0.0,0.09339729868311547,0.0,0.21220633568883016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476417694264157,0.0,0.12534709454074852,0.09657648966398054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157164402075194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07319534353866952,0.0,0.29326106556533826,0.0,0.0,0.11857886038377614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496284590244494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11477368205288276,0.081081357740331,0.0,0.0,0.10373302258563476,0.09653939275477602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05929682399444103,0.10887542665671546,0.0,0.0,0.09077288713697296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607378187488108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6129742125895434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05544827090602188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15151853516605468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260681477830712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18118238545935408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120169815801084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15736726942995818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08033284753751734,0.1209713255347885,0.0906378204342036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414588539406425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770561368827495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802385283932713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820719858295982,0.0,0.0,0.10241222494299357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262622844312692,0.0,0.11566182446984195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,liar_liar_pants,2019/05/15,I'm good at lying and I need to stop I'm good at lying to get out of hard situations and to protect myself. I also notice when I'm feeling worse I will lie. I've gotten a lot better about it with people in my real life but sometimes I will go on Reddit and lie to stir shit up bc I'm upset. I know I'm a bad person when I do this and need to stop. I'm planning on bringing this up with my therapist... I guess I just want to confess about it.,0.08319031903189966,1.4144798712871314,3.2737953795379537,91.57909790979099,81.97029702970299,5.280968096809682,19.143014301430146,5.82211442006289,-0.2106246424642464,341,8,81,2,9,124,58,101,0.24,0.6609999999999999,0.099,-0.9497,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,6,6,1,1,2,0,3,2,1,0,0,20,19,8,0,3,2,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,4,7,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,2,11,3,19,16,1,14,1,0,0,0,2,8,1,2,4,49,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16261597444520826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16978567904193426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17984329064072135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10281800661491904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624005665157617,0.0,0.11556639679480138,0.34111448223739993,0.0,0.0,0.2240088911724977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18215835673673392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175381662560456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362951577875555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728777650744722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015574316029539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23151112712261795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097473096459565,0.1775541586139454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314526243687641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20873206993432675,0.0,0.22856977766492725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011147048477583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3400132487663449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23610074435022085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199389249657889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207227267100387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BananeBoleyn,2019/05/15,"How to balance antidepressants and mood stabilizers? I was on a mood stabilizer (Lamictal, 200 mg) for about 6 months before an antidepressant (Lexapro, 5 mg) was added on. Since then, I feel as though I don't quite understand how the two medications interact and which pill is causing which reactions.

​

While this combination has been a miracle of sorts in terms of my ability to experience stability, I still have waves of intense sadness where my old familiar suicidal ideation crops back up. 

​

And I don't know what needs adjusting. I'd like to have a better understanding of things before I visit my psychiatrist in 6 weeks. 

​

If you have an experiences/advice that could help, I sincerely appreciate it.",8.685295275590551,10.021657874015752,8.719360236220473,60.824237204724426,60.81102362204725,13.279133858267715,40.28444881889764,12.602617957971056,5.902607086614172,598,31,93,22,8,195,93,127,0.057,0.777,0.166,0.8979,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,0,2,7,6,0,0,6,0,11,2,0,3,0,15,16,10,1,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,3,1,11,3,15,12,1,15,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,2,9,63,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12557551192342134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4177117054093335,0.4684500587108849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881391832241816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21869991228444616,0.0,0.0,0.11365396120758067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13201204457849292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10260234913365976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12570446332524568,0.0,0.0,0.06497697908896488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613550503372508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706240632848476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278200846636252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294572404121433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257302772474332,0.0,0.0,0.09528628093701988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348464350622368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366829679032716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630228348442873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262582253497854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405657543602093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537431264742247,0.0,0.12625743361818098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12553262502419993,0.26756055031782444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308053016381467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4684500587108849,0.0
bipolarreddit,futures-unseen,2019/05/15,"Unhappy, depressed, alone I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but I'm not sure where to go and I don't have many people to talk to about this and I feel like I need to get it out. 


I've been feeling alone and depressed and the worst I've felt in years. Except for my part time job, I've been pretty much alone for three weeks and I'm not used to it and I hate it. I don't have many friends, my partner  is a trucker so is gone a lot, and my family isn't around very often at the moment. It's so hard to meet people and put myself out there so I tell myself I like being alone and that I prefer it. That the stress and anxiety isn't worth it. But then I fall into a funk and I feel like crying, and then sometimes I do cry, and I know it's not healthy but I can't stop it. 


Recently, I haven't been sleeping well and I'll wake up feeling sad. The day will progress and I'll start feeling a bit better. But in the afternoon I just start to slip again. My mind keeps racing nonstop which normally my meds help with and I hate how sometimes I can't think straight. 


My partner gets back next week and I know at that point I'll start feeling happier again, and things will hopefully slip back into being normal, but for now… everything just kind of sucks.",1.3873462484624817,3.0154250332103345,2.703786900369004,95.78945648831491,79.11070110701107,5.8450799507995095,20.516758917589176,6.6274283507984215,0.05267146371463705,988,25,232,9,24,319,131,271,0.239,0.624,0.138,-0.9837,1,4,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,16,18,3,1,10,0,20,2,2,2,2,61,47,30,0,6,13,0,8,3,3,2,0,0,0,2,16,24,0,2,11,0,1,4,11,8,1,1,5,8,26,10,25,38,5,39,0,3,0,0,7,15,1,4,22,146,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4042444604434264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746467072513411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.086864880044827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15006252439116585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629958519717883,0.1065296242812972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21436914027014498,0.06292957262080554,0.0,0.16808713624065436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769658466162604,0.0,0.09198761306002216,0.0,0.29602943618489985,0.13941911994491935,0.0936899366912655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07538832313743422,0.0,0.10196068797108424,0.0,0.05545568072399197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741049260483444,0.19267564168202603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06540430510453844,0.0,0.0,0.09691671710709336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968308546519968,0.08673158249515489,0.0,0.1016122049441978,0.10725235269697107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14301467096066706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295710872832614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978570344264889,0.0,0.0,0.1083868765079838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985257053808249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173086944572198,0.07235266094093852,0.0,0.0,0.10377503798039373,0.0,0.1912109432506296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566718811568132,0.0,0.13529624332589654,0.0,0.10194797435264337,0.0,0.09224250820838853,0.0,0.0934525059892954,0.0992716457107589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809258410156216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963462505570209,0.0,0.0,0.0833308604138056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09764821370653712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930137681931928,0.0,0.20719808878050605,0.0,0.0,0.08157936341561997,0.11177497633082056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839317382968597,0.0,0.0,0.07842929463010709,0.08528724936724777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06482631744361401,0.06252387848380007,0.0,0.0,0.05689836735798062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427584143470387,0.0,0.08051185815504358,0.0,0.0,0.15654196123960773,0.0,0.0877341106757207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283686806993795
bipolarreddit,Weirdwhit,2019/05/15,"So happy I found ppl I can possibly relate to Hello so I was just diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder, generalized anxiety disorder with episodes of severe depression 2 weeks ago after a horrible year or overwhelming crap n my head that never stopped almost killed myself on my bday April 20! I am now going to counseling 3 times a week (my choice) and I was put on latuda 40mg and cymbalta 60mg I was good for a few days then my suicidal thoughts came back less severe but there and my urge to cut myself was more intense my wrists r very scared and cut up from months of self mutilation I became addicted to and I wasn't sleeping more than 3 or 4 hours every night but I was wired sound later! So my doc doubled my dose of latuda to 80mg (I'm surprised considering I told him I've been cutting and thinking about death recently) and put me on remeron 40mg. Cymbalta is for my anxiety the other 2 r mood stabilizers and can cause anxiety and increase suicidal thoughts that's not what I need! I've been hospitalized for 96 hours twice for over dosing on my antidepressant! I have ppl keeping an eye on me cause I don't want something stupid to happen! My anxiety is crazy, energy is off the walls and sleeping very little! Did anyone else get started on 40mg and then jumped straight to 80mg like that? If so how did it work for u?",3.157195161817582,5.116091947368421,4.712915985616217,81.87224419745017,75.01503759398497,8.38548545276234,27.354691075514868,9.085049710711278,2.380508859104282,1062,42,207,25,23,356,160,266,0.19,0.7120000000000001,0.09699999999999999,-0.9744,0,0,1,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,0,1,10,14,6,2,6,0,18,11,6,3,1,35,32,23,4,3,7,0,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,1,6,14,0,2,4,0,0,6,4,9,0,1,15,2,29,4,30,17,6,39,0,2,1,0,4,12,1,4,22,124,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268152146302568,0.0,0.0,0.09975691919562414,0.0,0.11268916412000618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.344360810032895,0.0,0.0,0.07868821786899917,0.115307061109057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653371052410777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871190755262107,0.0,0.2312122066443597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725768068032738,0.0,0.09692762166495528,0.1142222954267866,0.0,0.0,0.2579534211884158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940099015144217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09481695186741992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339058982237355,0.0,0.0,0.058795736600630526,0.0,0.06395715175600188,0.09439037346368488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09951575705538243,0.1197973193601274,0.0,0.0,0.11549503388401534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22165179415351788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10002771422623537,0.12450509089685942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05497970568299743,0.11279125273748587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982565249313157,0.0,0.0,0.08344447413388538,0.08679517521022259,0.0,0.0,0.10560798981109958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686812456304433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262607619495965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11111633087088346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266878386406658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740023284987887,0.2542686855278315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252357753505881,0.0,0.0,0.0866361843284245,0.0,0.0,0.07965399537481592,0.0,0.0,0.09408564926106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24619358292665916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210891891247106,0.0,0.1786830038197052,0.06562100524732596,0.0,0.0,0.10753355835748753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18570898645382805,0.06637701129601846,0.0,0.18054016902279665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192799608122438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07246989045221827
bipolarreddit,glitterypunkrocker,2018/12/26,"My boyfriend says that if I want to get married, I have to personally pay for it. Am I taking this wrong? Or is it as screwed up as it seems? So, my boyfriend [23] and I [25] have been together for five years since this October. We first began dating when we were 18 and 19. I got pregnant with our daughter when I was 20, we had already been together almost a year. Consistently living together since we got together. 

Like every other human being in the world, I’d like to be married one day. I thought maybe we would get married before we had our daughter, and we didn’t. Around the time that our daughter was a year and a half old, he gave me a ring and said that he would like to eventually get married. But during a later argument, he revealed that he only gave me the ring to make me feel less sad. (because at the time when me the ring, pretty much all of my friends were already engaged/married)

So, here we are at the end of 2018. I recently asked him, “when are we getting married?” And he responded with, “whenever you want to pay for it I guess.” And immediately got defensive when I asked him as to why I was the one I had to pay for the fee.

In the past, he has always gotten defensive when the subject of marriage is brought up. I’m kind of at a loss, I really don’t know what to think at this point. I obviously love him, but I don’t just want to be “boyfriend and girlfriend” for the rest of our lives. Not to mention, having to see all of my friends married, and all of my family asking me why we aren’t married yet. 
Is it wrong for me to want more?",3.277334239130436,4.232298706250003,4.65983695652174,86.43451086956524,72.875,7.815217391304348,28.28804347826087,8.18289091462,1.7268233695652169,1206,46,262,18,23,402,149,320,0.057999999999999996,0.8640000000000001,0.078,0.4865,1,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,14,1,0,2,12,14,3,0,17,0,29,2,0,1,4,49,60,24,0,7,6,3,1,3,3,2,0,5,0,2,14,22,0,2,6,0,4,1,5,7,0,5,21,7,44,7,40,34,7,33,0,2,1,2,43,11,1,5,24,181,58,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120594648900302,0.0,0.2469860101225912,0.0,0.09311622795440083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962163959496116,0.3138559707140404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821793685389473,0.0,0.09522526841074136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217125264272055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991170667117863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428712131941798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10549668439923213,0.0,0.05658393009520979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518869053191703,0.0,0.0,0.17291932834973622,0.0,0.2338687604165879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26850859579109426,0.0,0.12327902335514508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653471983356567,0.06150158280639685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16401744870749976,0.0,0.19763321927539426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100113004480588,0.0,0.07469930430579301,0.0,0.11242639466489808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226508595956421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742837789831463,0.0,0.15166319996635694,0.08511090053505742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068286274523694,0.0,0.09771354677933898,0.0,0.0,0.10578901281310843,0.0,0.0,0.11385043191094403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169098192314287,0.0,0.11049542052396992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644991425654284,0.08899354898617227,0.0,0.0,0.08917600257255028,0.10187662928140644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851425246904292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414071465389521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07170597927698644,0.0,0.08884226779629027,0.1305086392464548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640244046503062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20195870946788005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15899213559253653,0.24470715407953106,0.0,0.21619480119844844
bipolarreddit,BipolarArtist,2018/12/26,"I am going to be a father This fall I found out I am going to be a father. My wife and I are as ready you can be, and I am very excited, but I am preparedly cautious about what it is going to be like as a dad with bipolar disorder. All things considered I manage my illness pretty well. But breakthrough symptoms still emerge, and sometimes it takes a lot of energy to manage my own well-being, let alone having to watch out for someone else as well. My wife has been well aware of my illness long before we got married, so there are no surprises there. Her confidence in the situation gives me confidence. We are also fortunate enough to have 4 grandparents within a 15 minute drive of us, so we have a great support network.

I have made a lot of healthy changes in my life. I stopped drinking and I have been eating better. Alcohol was starting to make me feel very sick. I was no longer getting a nice buzzed feeling from a couple of drinks, just nausea, pounding headache and heartbeat and dizziness. Maybe it was a decade of drinking and psych meds catching up with me, but my body was definitely trying to tell me something. I am back doing [r/intermittentfasting](https://www.reddit.com/r/intermittentfasting) again which makes me feel great and I have lost almost 20lbs. I have about 15 more pounds until I am at my goal weight and I am feeling optimistic. These are some big life changes, but I realized I am no longer going to be just living for myself and I have to put my child and my family first.

We were ready for this and starting a family has always been part of the plan. But life has still been hitting me pretty hard lately and all of these life changes has put me in a bit of a depressed state. I have been less active on social media, but I am still writing lyrics and making some art here and there. I have always been able to count on my meds for stopping me from completely losing myself in depression.

Everyone says I will be a good dad but I could use some reassurance from some other bipolar parents out there who have figured out how to get by. Happy Holidays everyone.",5.8262766161519295,6.680000947630923,5.991583541147133,79.57608814502208,66.95511221945137,8.662996355265681,29.88691732207942,8.730908602173464,2.2581274889698832,1664,58,310,25,26,529,200,401,0.111,0.674,0.215,0.9941,2,1,5,0,0,0,45.0,5,1,0,6,21,18,0,0,16,0,51,17,1,6,2,60,75,30,0,1,9,7,6,1,0,1,11,1,0,1,12,25,6,2,7,5,0,9,3,4,3,1,15,8,52,14,50,50,14,37,0,4,1,0,22,14,0,7,14,239,64,4,0.08219166044631848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783788893703699,0.0823030753762347,0.0851257725145375,0.0,0.06572864116389185,0.13678009145595232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320031349479606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699390493379797,0.0,0.0,0.07269184443032932,0.08973200575395858,0.09129640597235728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608436355808534,0.0,0.0861763922161858,0.0,0.0,0.06562335287010533,0.09094350897348476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158311341158852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09419876362299988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415496096363739,0.0,0.08410258780710878,0.06866058569938592,0.0,0.0,0.08492595645679744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15707530760537053,0.0,0.0,0.15496596519666825,0.0,0.1662342924189343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699121843880093,0.0,0.09011891333273216,0.0,0.0,0.08588350049503711,0.07884573008535838,0.18684565895680424,0.06893846522545466,0.06573617920999457,0.18123319160823426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08749455089282178,0.07362758367252027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09271577300018567,0.0,0.0,0.08404654146172832,0.23221760187763765,0.040154693632939935,0.0,0.0725767419951237,0.07273703307427272,0.0,0.09195144422690844,0.08972190655460432,0.13975282101973605,0.0,0.0777717364255164,0.16459071472986178,0.0,0.08257257022835067,0.0,0.18259281194471452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126411219840516,0.0890055587445228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16723693421843136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16525064047498692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06536210731860471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238687003723972,0.0,0.08378404718515363,0.06964072717414617,0.06327515573279321,0.0812896538167247,0.0,0.11635136060411776,0.0,0.1969150986111779,0.13743181686410713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327012225923953,0.0,0.08542860582843641,0.0617978997772807,0.0,0.07183913397416129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05460448705327476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055802742240762135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988664475246908,0.07098720510428204,0.0,0.1356334553504781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008729986137277,0.2956006942513679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,1Word1,2018/12/26,"Pride and guilt I have 4 children. I was inpatient (been out 3 weeks) for nearly 3 months in a beautiful facility, I’m lucky to be alive. A really hard time for all of us but my kids (6-17) coped as best they could. I felt guilty every single day. 

I told them this year would be a very quiet Christmas gifts-wise. I haven’t worked in nearly 5 months so things are tight but they all got some amazing gifts and seemed really happy with them. 

We started off lunch with my 6yo saying what he was grateful for this Christmas and the rest followed. 2 said food and family, one said their family being together and one said they were thankful I was home from hospital in time for Christmas. 

I’m so proud of my loving, lovely kids. Gifts are wonderful but the true gift is ‘us’. I’m so ashamed that their mother was this >< close to leaving them even though deep down I know it’s the illness. The despair I felt, the lowness and loneliness from disconnecting from life was truly something else. They are the reason I’m still here, I fought for them. I’m so glad. 

I hope 2019 is better than 2018 for me and for all of you. I will try to continue to fight to stay out of hospital. Happy Christmas to you all :) ",1.6917596153846115,4.096821887499999,2.7600000000000016,91.71576923076924,82.20833333333334,6.0256410256410255,20.06410256410256,7.321109707123232,0.5317179487179486,943,26,196,14,26,300,140,240,0.105,0.603,0.293,0.9964,1,0,1,0,1,0,33.0,3,2,10,5,8,20,2,2,9,0,20,6,0,1,5,33,42,16,0,3,3,1,4,0,0,2,2,5,1,3,7,13,2,1,6,0,0,1,1,6,0,2,15,9,30,14,33,21,8,24,0,2,0,2,29,12,0,5,10,127,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13446034497801998,0.11331704567429447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229819497301727,0.0,0.0,0.082630678219862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10703284235934027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08462602262311374,0.0,0.10795169124458516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24157160261606014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460421289629316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549304824430607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247407643001824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27278504480035104,0.11477574035012167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285208369174749,0.1272580399307202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041470547899872,0.0,0.0,0.13566694690427947,0.0,0.0,0.0904991914999624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23127745663193994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20453792096883192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17364300348580208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16416160844215766,0.13173487982129786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.365631534276196,0.10189094744306948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11664110936177785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863766380413112,0.0,0.0,0.09068825084277332,0.13656528121648026,0.10232159878984083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179612176917336,0.0,0.0,0.08512122923731576,0.0,0.12588315638114633,0.0,0.14942261606392632,0.0,0.0,0.12242989530470075,0.0,0.08698915182029694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3082396336922846,0.0,0.0,0.10571737844431303,0.0,0.0,0.10277495848445953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894719465939773,0.09327726280016492,0.0,0.0,0.09101704289845564,0.0,0.0,0.08250895103194014
bipolarreddit,Undeadlift,2019/08/27,"Depakote experiences? I've been taking Latuda for around 6 months now and it's been working fairly well for me, but my insurance does not want to cover it (until I try 3 other meds) and I've been living off sample packs. Pdoc wanted to try Vraylar next (also not covered), so next up is Depakote. Does anyone have anything to share about their experience with it?",3.979130434782608,6.168375826086963,4.9703623188405786,79.91032608695654,73.34782608695652,6.339130434782609,24.54347826086957,7.1686216300943375,1.2586695652173905,288,9,49,3,6,94,53,69,0.02,0.9079999999999999,0.071,0.5231,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,6,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,9,8,6,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,1,4,2,11,5,0,8,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,5,33,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712659264214984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974762034184302,0.0,0.1762377495500488,0.19065031121692386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3748306466511341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4189846569524001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18910968999732386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237886608804544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709427163402458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45552916845795793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16102378459138386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.290804987825442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526375550538013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19255809132568175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559130805702568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CriminalVixen,2019/08/27,"Ruined Another Good Thing I Had Going For Me. I joined a gym back in January, and have been going infrequently...but was at least going. I had/have a workout buddy and we'd do fitness classes together, or use the machines. I've always dreamed of getting into better shape, and thought I could really do it this time. I even signed a contract in early July to workout with a trainer once a week for three months. I made it one month before injuring my knee towards the end of July. I had been falling into a depressive phase since the spring (a lot of stressful life events), but the injury seemed to plummet me into full depression mode. 

For the last month, I'd keep saying to my trainer that I'd come to our sessions...but then impulsively would cancel because my moods have been changing frequently and severely. I felt so bad leading the trainer on, that I've just requested to freeze my personal training until the end of September (after all, the training is $300 a month). I need some time to hopefully get my shit together. Right now I can't seem to force myself to be reliable. It doesn't help that I also suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

I know that exercise is good for mental health, but I can't seem to get myself to do much more than getting on the treadmill that I have at home. I kind of feel like a failure that getting to the gym has gotten this difficult for me. 

I hope that the gym honors my request to freeze my training. I'm still paying my $35 monthly fee, since there's no way around that. Hopefully I go to do a class or something during the next month to compensate for that charge. Honestly, I don't think I'll continue my membership when my yearly contract is up. Gyms make it impossible/expensive to actually quit using their services. My moods cycle too often that I think other means of exercise are going to have to suffice in the future.

I just needed to vent. Thanks. I really wish I could just force myself to go to the gym on a regular basis.",5.4960621761658,6.259308626943008,6.511392746113992,75.87946217616583,67.65284974093264,9.595689119170984,32.02031088082901,9.692545771848811,3.1054021968911916,1574,64,284,33,25,526,208,386,0.141,0.754,0.105,-0.9481,0,0,1,0,0,0,47.0,2,0,1,4,14,21,1,1,25,0,28,7,2,5,1,48,64,13,0,9,7,0,4,1,0,1,5,1,1,1,18,10,0,1,10,10,2,9,5,8,0,2,10,5,42,11,51,49,7,55,0,4,0,0,8,18,1,11,28,195,60,5,0.0,0.0,0.08826253014300013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07232986390910673,0.07525855719286569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948408192206506,0.06919116282731247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805163721277017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954761262587482,0.07551887261208885,0.05513521772823805,0.0,0.07696312948163256,0.0,0.0,0.07999239177693596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568018005056148,0.0779114685288151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14442800271859327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15580251080123592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365928205131736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16021713073624366,0.0,0.0,0.05973892026491104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045732360865743164,0.06461484628430285,0.08684262043949006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23627226247361846,0.0,0.3084162591461859,0.15172411051147852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614017478172944,0.0,0.0,0.06062424038153458,0.0,0.0907250014949382,0.2695007161454533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039281661127698,0.0,0.0941858907970776,0.04970691456008695,0.0737257964995077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388488809325832,0.044187487742831176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07689419974518104,0.0,0.08558246469155281,0.06037359962774466,0.0,0.0,0.0985225229691384,0.0,0.0,0.09114858520183444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4331601854783523,0.0,0.06648842863024576,0.1341295531575873,0.0,0.0,0.09619065347564884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632234496950497,0.06128874557886156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07897421008518297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962007606385443,0.0,0.0,0.11588441632145287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724063583967504,0.0,0.07192651853822654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470167112593635,0.0,0.10217856103057904,0.0928418149774269,0.14963620831021526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06962997137836277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07223052250378363,0.0,0.1036059174222431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08327079023224221,0.0,0.0,0.06008849487002065,0.11590865869545736,0.0,0.07180424979591328,0.10547991587140093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15623310610295135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179205355853596,0.07255055667068247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10400876764433416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06425044802913568,0.0,0.0,0.05824444413262871
bipolarreddit,binky_shayne,2019/08/27,"Quitting Jobs I’ve had a problem over the past couple years where I get a job I really want. I get so excited to start and absolutely love working. But after about a month or so, it’s dreadful. I recently found out I have bipolar disorder, and my doctor informed me it’s most likely the cause of my impulse decisions to leave a job. It’s not that I’m lazy. I hate sitting around and doing nothing. It makes me feel awful. Most recently, I had one of the best jobs in my county, making great money. I had an episode and quit out of nowhere. I’ve been trying to get another job, but it’s it working. I really want to go back to my old job. But how do I tell my boss the reason I left? I’m scared that I’m finally going to get the courage to talk to them, and I’ll get shot done. Does anyone have any advice or previous experience with this? It would be great appreciated.",0.976141320151207,3.1184261546961314,3.4457051468450146,87.32601046815935,83.03314917127072,6.683454492585054,22.785984297760983,7.85451343220497,1.225811049723757,678,24,144,13,19,235,105,181,0.08199999999999999,0.758,0.16,0.9447,6,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,5,7,11,1,2,10,1,11,3,0,6,0,31,30,13,0,4,6,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,10,9,0,0,5,0,1,2,1,4,0,1,6,1,19,7,19,22,3,20,0,0,0,1,5,7,0,4,11,89,29,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10080316012209227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701498336618271,0.108168393851209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721292960915712,0.0,0.0,0.09183099348306112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932084112880501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082561915651368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059699543634402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414050386911162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182260775412937,0.10558486264210468,0.09027278909266308,0.10556472848426074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10090667320841752,0.0,0.0,0.052158933911804616,0.0,0.0,0.11300270419398473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310557830943023,0.0,0.0,0.2694745928322578,0.0,0.11725222558381693,0.0,0.0,0.22746040967038425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184550756598004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6142003703626574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922764622928599,0.11207964140374756,0.0,0.0,0.050396966377334984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310260454090646,0.0,0.13771528665427507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233838890699066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898126932006908,0.0,0.1082452030437371,0.0,0.06990139082410347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847437796917263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870666481857526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21943888403844936,0.0,0.0,0.13216915763573472,0.10606187562642304,0.2037088384270682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327747014347093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730145728656825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291314096492966,0.09016316878340468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07003636860433635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12168853815992454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501980562673246,0.0,0.0,0.07327928865062906,0.0,0.0,0.06642928671804553
bipolarreddit,mayz24,2019/08/27,Sleep issues on vraylar? Is anyone taking vraylar 1.5mg and having issues with sleep? I wake up at 00:30-03:30 every night almost now so I barely sleep and it’s taking a toll on me mentally,1.2100000000000009,3.825536842105265,3.2108421052631577,85.57889473684213,88.47368421052632,4.092631578947368,15.494736842105262,5.6839178017228535,-0.30849052631578955,152,3,26,1,5,51,30,38,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,4,4,0,0,4,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,4,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,2,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254390861912804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157418861599828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18968502563095052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4699626121810352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268820250449045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21127291965852446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6758894846164689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33854535788958645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Windowseatblues,2019/08/27,"Breast pain and lamictal? Hi all,
I've just upped my dose from 25mg of lamictal to 50, and my boobs are in AGONY. The left one is so bad I can barely lift my arm. I've been diagnosed with fibrocystic breasts in the past but this feels nothing like that, and there are no lumps - just areas of thickening, I guess. The only thing that has changed in my med regime is the lamictal.
Has anyone else experienced this? Or should I be looking for answers other than blaming the meds?
Thanks!",3.3475,5.2270395789473705,3.9465131578947386,87.91871710526317,74.26315789473685,7.697368421052633,25.559210526315788,8.472884824447931,1.5918684210526308,380,13,79,7,8,120,70,95,0.171,0.7909999999999999,0.037000000000000005,-0.9171,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,5,0,10,8,4,0,1,13,14,6,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,3,7,2,11,11,1,7,0,0,1,3,1,6,1,2,2,51,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16082520495606242,0.2356678323382286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920449988506574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.243315338699844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334507575600086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921400952824554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11629769998040974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533770073572235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499016665471944,0.0,0.0,0.11236907728184277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931467053999071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5109685553594496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22069649626140644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15585769049691245,0.17492955966179088,0.24474208603597636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21956629106302375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21175817727825,0.0,0.0,0.15280544490548453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DingusChrist,2019/08/27,"My meds aren't working My meds stopped working

Hey all, bipolar I and ptsd and I've been on seroquel xr 150mg daily, seroquel 50mg at bedtime, and lamictal 100mg 2x daily for about a year now and things were going great up until about a week ago. I've been cycling all day every day, going from not being able to move out of bed to being too terrified to leave bed due to paranoia. Nothing has changed in my life recently so I dont know what's going on with my head. It's really wearing me down and I've been getting short with friends and family. It's like I haven't had any therapy or meds, all that progress went out the window. I'm going in to see my psychiatrist tomorrow during walk in hours because I cant make it to my next appointment, I'll be in the hospital before that. Any advice you guys can give me? I'm so fucking tired. Took me an hour to even put this little paragraph together. Sorry, losing my mind at my dead end gas station job with no one to talk to.",3.1248529411764707,4.188393151960786,4.695372549019608,85.62217647058826,73.36274509803921,7.59686274509804,27.32549019607843,8.021203637495839,1.6417631372549022,769,28,161,11,15,259,133,204,0.111,0.828,0.061,-0.8024,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,4,7,5,1,0,5,0,14,6,2,1,3,20,28,10,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,3,0,3,1,8,11,0,1,1,0,0,9,6,2,0,1,7,1,16,3,30,18,3,38,0,1,1,1,6,14,1,1,16,91,24,3,0.12446432289423652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162509583630784,0.11033011249822476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16928001526315015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587229600024809,0.0,0.10590997155245033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316667502418372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16053838318050964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458712594701377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023844711603352,0.0,0.0,0.08220751142065719,0.0,0.10486656014062316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11733388658361794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616082712098496,0.1150652609243422,0.06502747163675547,0.11939751983214048,0.2829437719289652,0.0,0.0,0.13722235538855498,0.0,0.1232392479182641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127736303247511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451445732444362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351163531244964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840233683942469,0.0,0.0,0.13178974671548718,0.0,0.0,0.0879128321075249,0.06080698123033532,0.12474594949087392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924374057784286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830809020132094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41475541278722616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12567348533309014,0.0,0.0,0.13228587783718224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13236921941497792,0.0,0.0,0.11942687463837146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434024635512916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14549213293402885,0.12512102178536436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07973503233718192,0.0,0.1228935033702635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918195089649846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393276194358968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405774708303753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003970811763037,0.0,0.0,0.14233580040285793,0.0,0.08268856561806287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14305342972537555,0.0,0.0,0.13828444237185405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983777225353316,0.0,0.0,0.11537967427764904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18122301885987088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015094322076853
bipolarreddit,Bipo_Blues,2019/08/27,"gagged on some pills and now i have crazy heartburn So I don't know if this has happened to anyone else, but I swallow all my pills in one go inc. omega 3 and iron pills. Last week I gagged on my pills while i was trying to swallow them and they tried to come back up but it like, damaged my esophagus and I felt a pretty intense pain in my throat that went away. But now I've had heart burn pretty much every day which has never happened before. Has this happened to anyone else?",2.693560606060608,4.199252434343439,3.1817045454545467,94.29255681818184,75.16161616161617,5.354040404040403,21.465909090909093,5.148860815047168,-0.13983939393939426,377,9,82,1,8,117,66,99,0.135,0.741,0.12300000000000001,-0.0772,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,7,10,2,0,2,14,15,10,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,5,5,2,0,2,0,0,3,2,2,0,1,4,1,12,1,10,11,3,17,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,2,9,53,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23941744038989302,0.3508342440233044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16085031927495114,0.13164410150712014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14568065886443105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14747573474233425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11041140457291557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28603532525491465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14424543175867766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643811815910875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09729828672408257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4541812321698689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028757046781176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408837857820752,0.13955283109838296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08364085986752769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12585348536309854,0.0,0.13204186884508534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160111977909353,0.0,0.18217145692562547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3483488407981321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23247042483494745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13732826313005678,0.0,0.0,0.15870636845565728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,brightyellowsunbean,2019/08/27,talking to yourself during (hypo)mania? do you guys ever end up making conversations with yourself/talking aloud to yourself while manic?,9.388571428571423,13.30055095238096,8.733571428571429,51.14892857142861,63.28571428571429,8.009523809523811,43.83333333333334,8.841846274778883,5.48964761904762,114,7,10,2,2,36,17,21,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,8,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3738506907284179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38180889390920425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41794019386538267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817515432822246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6785275910260142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,grassy-seas,2019/08/27,"Skipping 1 Dose of Lithium = Sleep Disturbance? I'm looking for any information or anecdotal evidence on this. I missed one dose of lithium, which I've been taking for about a year. I took sleep medicine, went to bed, felt tired, fell asleep. One hour later I woke up from a nightmare which scared me for about an hour after I awoke, and I very rarely have nightmares like that. I fell asleep again, woke up, fell asleep, and then woke up 4 hours before I needed to get up and never fell back asleep. I probably got 2-3 hours. Normally I get 7-10 hours with sleep medication.

*Does this sound like something that could plausibly be the effect of skipping one dose of lithium?* 

*Also what have your experiences with lithium discontinuation been like if you've experienced it?*

I have major depressive disorder with mixed features, not bipolar disorder, but I'm aware that this medication is commonly used for bipolar disorders. This medication has saved my life but more importantly ended my severe depression (upgraded to moderate). I've been aggressive about my health lately so I'm just trying to monitor things and connect dots when possible. Thanks.",4.846407766990289,7.7003451456310685,5.210495145631068,76.05137378640778,73.27184466019419,8.974368932038837,29.717475728155346,9.516144504307137,3.2693444660194184,924,40,154,25,20,293,127,206,0.138,0.809,0.053,-0.8901,0,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,1,9,11,1,2,4,0,10,18,7,2,1,22,28,12,0,4,6,0,1,3,0,0,11,1,1,0,12,7,0,0,3,0,0,6,2,6,0,3,10,4,15,5,25,16,2,27,0,3,1,0,2,5,0,2,19,87,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417214873959776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157680803911985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093437036996852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956400070562365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08403731646909578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18131144460114576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3618930287783183,0.0,0.09210910074555984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322442646864117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295929727963636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010610219556746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10998247719620964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418180196727036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11188082839126963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5182734073384924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11873189065356182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743445101674146,0.1542663952220067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883874422625971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31809912268847035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804502931834463,0.08117891645052505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103127262203704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139699342754236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118658863919491,0.0,0.0,0.11348237307142832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537832050837416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189078559289409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3159921529837718,0.0,0.0,0.0810302133978655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913843827803896,0.0,0.0,0.09690439000272548,0.0,0.0,0.0699265483769441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12097479862432267,0.0,0.0,0.11694184893663075,0.0714610348973286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090626979108184,0.0,0.08684615394192677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975721650845718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06778057844748077
bipolarreddit,candiholicx,2019/01/20,"Depakote + weed? I honestly haven't smoked weed since I started taking meds (125mg Depakote, 3x / day), so I have no experience with mixing the two.  Leading up to my diagnosis I was honestly smoking weed way too much and just kind of self medicating my problems in a way that wasn't particularly constructive with a lot of weed and alcohol.  

But okay, that said, I am capable of moderation - I can do a glass of wine here or there without totally flying off the handle, and I have done so while taking my Depakote with no noticeable differences (and I was on a much higher dose at one point while doing so).  What I haven't tried, since meds, is weed.  

This is not the type of question I feel comfortable asking a doctor since weed is still very, very illegal where I live LOL and I am aware redditors can not dispense reliable medical advice (and I am also aware that it is not allowed on this sub).  Luckily, I'm not looking for advice - I'm looking for personal experiences.  

I am curious if anyone else has EXPERIENCE mixing depakote and weed?  Did it make it more sedating?  Did it make you paranoid or jittery?  Was everything exactly the same?  Is depakote and the occasional, rare high any more dangerous than depakote and the occasional, rare glass of wine or beer?",5.026751054852318,6.761558700421944,6.323902953586501,73.17463080168777,69.59071729957806,10.16118143459916,32.99789029535865,10.380263240014207,3.8379434599156137,1000,47,176,29,18,337,131,237,0.07200000000000001,0.8270000000000001,0.1,0.7699,1,0,5,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,1,10,7,1,0,11,2,25,8,0,4,2,34,37,20,0,2,11,0,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,10,12,4,0,2,3,0,1,10,2,0,2,8,4,18,5,20,29,7,17,0,0,2,0,6,9,0,6,5,125,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394172228996085,0.0,0.13091855824892445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796568475143842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330630875977503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856570158070017,0.12551890262047216,0.0,0.0,0.11452386172761687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900436502348254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279896659666489,0.0,0.12538711367476835,0.0,0.1253632033918438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023356207334819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100978871677447,0.35949461468772365,0.0,0.0,0.06194124812874606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12943125095841335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12756812728771336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817248159523307,0.0,0.2057435014869725,0.0,0.0,0.10414775480452823,0.0,0.0,0.16354354090514253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721466553408881,0.2468179703907821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18010774766545834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13947059121049893,0.0,0.0,0.08301127091480545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069649816902919,0.0,0.0,0.1158050259309679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11721892222388032,0.0,0.0,0.1372315080682742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165285009569609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12779745015587118,0.0,0.0,0.30400749051195386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08670832464741178,0.0,0.09783113384437636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18421417089047884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317156353488486,0.0,0.1196677282308028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021557740024102,0.0,0.19447451734216256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180886167950681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,snippyorca,2019/04/01,"Does anyone have a good diet they follow that seems to help symptoms? I'm bipolar 2 and have just been diagnosed prediabetic (thank you Seroquel!). I have an exercise plan, but I was trying to a modified Mediterranean diet, basically about 50% of veggies, some chicken & fish, a tiny bit of whole grains (not daily), tiny bit of hard cheese and yogurt. Light on grains because of the prediabetes.

Well, damn if I didn't start having low level symptoms. Can't fall asleep at night without extra seroquel. Snappier with my child than I want to be, and for no real reason, leaving doors open, windows down, losing things. Low level stuff, but signs that more is coming if I can't nip it in the bud.

I started thinking about it and realized that my first real hypomanic episode happened after I decided to eat nothing but fruits & veggies for a month. Two weeks in & things went bad.

Does anybody have a diet they follow specifically for BPD? Is there any research on this? I never thought I'd be worried I was eating too many vegetables.",5.547468541820873,7.1261154455958575,5.927361213915621,77.12022020725391,68.11917098445596,8.001332346410067,31.402294596595112,8.418075326091056,2.5459299777942266,823,34,140,12,14,264,131,193,0.11599999999999999,0.8320000000000001,0.052000000000000005,-0.9356,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,2,3,6,8,1,0,8,0,15,13,1,1,1,27,28,9,0,3,8,0,1,0,1,0,5,0,2,1,9,7,7,0,6,1,0,5,7,5,1,2,6,3,14,3,23,20,6,24,0,3,0,0,6,11,1,4,8,91,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4079183932938968,0.0,0.08534028688570232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.087748387986101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10478232609460494,0.07650003454067036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27401409460831305,0.0,0.15805541750435775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810204945497323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12737386316791166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196414536427488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568235743595244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067452117346919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10525849151436292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109740123402458,0.0,0.11241805813157932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411604550196643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13288012499065535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14039579036519848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723131362760867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016818806589448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678878129312367,0.0,0.0,0.11776770544993448,0.0,0.12041496720871413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856795048782656,0.0,0.12902882902372476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142451093999878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776507304417197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143660712740627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260872827739023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11553810053665345,0.0,0.0,0.16674539876530464,0.08041154781931631,0.0,0.0996282923308559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520225176783669,0.0,0.12258949424377966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740196677253191,0.0,0.10066379203594808,0.0,0.11283426119852452,0.11633428185042123,0.0,0.14010967362516324,0.0,0.12097182776741833,0.0,0.0,0.12744534347278008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mycatsnameislucky,2019/04/01,"help - friend in need - will delusions from an episode last when my friend is fully recovered? Hi - I don't know if this is allowed and I want to preface this by saying that I am going to ask my friend's doctor as well. I was hoping that people might point me in the direction of some research - I've tried googling and haven't had any lucky myself.

​

My friend had an adverse reaction a psych medication that triggered a manic episode that turned into psychosis. He is in the hospital now and is receiving help. I'm just worried -- he's made some very serious (and unfounded) accusations about his boss during this episode. I'm worried about him keeping his job. When he's recovered, will he continue to believe these delusions? Or will those thoughts go away? I want to make it clear that before the manic episode/pyschosis he had NEVER said anything about his boss like this - he would mention criticisms here and there but it was a very grounded professional relationship. ",6.112410256410258,7.803017933333333,5.608888888888887,79.51115384615385,66.8888888888889,8.64957264957265,34.401709401709404,9.057496981413335,3.122299145299145,788,37,137,14,13,241,112,180,0.062,0.826,0.11199999999999999,0.78,2,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,0,10,10,0,0,8,0,17,2,0,6,2,30,33,11,0,6,4,0,0,1,4,5,2,2,0,0,13,6,0,1,2,0,0,3,3,2,1,0,8,2,14,8,16,20,2,16,0,0,0,0,23,7,0,7,7,86,27,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15772978186002165,0.17688880779717606,0.0989955715822944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11979531248024905,0.0,0.13609239588600516,0.0,0.1367719237167621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12387307685199282,0.16401247764812976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14900154828707762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44988162506340973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654665518798288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19515087908860906,0.0,0.0,0.1445882080055835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14446011144094592,0.12939319928269674,0.0,0.0,0.08000387313832602,0.11866255072095824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112028970145393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13774599990050726,0.09717203025513484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14665087446183514,0.0,0.1544314141610575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10794155953844424,0.11227593762016924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092294681609168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13761484459955026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562924063617165,0.0,0.0,0.13847457328984933,0.11576659133524915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556979833300017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883544948884704,0.15834312466240433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24022822153528064,0.17172708417569482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088885201867353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2956757021332075,0.0,0.10341186409769768,0.0,0.17688880779717606,0.0
bipolarreddit,hijk178,2019/04/01,"[SURVEY] Participate in a Research Study on Interpersonal Stress and Suicide Risk (18+; $50 gift card raffle) I am a doctoral student in Fordham University’s Mood and Behaviors Lab, conducting a study on the role of personality, interpersonal stress, and suicidal thoughts and behaviors. The study aims to investigate whether there is a relationship between certain personality characteristics and suicidal thoughts and/or behaviors, and how perceptions of interpersonal stress and relationships with close others may play a role. **You do not need to have a history of suicidal thoughts and/or behaviors to participate.**

You must be 18 years of age or older. Your participation is completely voluntary and you can end the study at any time, and all data is confidential. After completion of the study, you may enter a raffle to win one of two possible $50 e-gift cards.

If you are interested in participating in the study, please click on the link below. **You must take this survey on a desktop or laptop computer.** This study should take approximately one hour to complete.

[https://fordham.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_eyxdAL1elTNHeyV](https://fordham.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eyxdAL1elTNHeyV)

We hope that this research helps us better understand risk factors for suicidal thoughts and behaviors. Thank you very much for your time!",8.398428571428575,12.235682557142859,7.639523809523813,58.102142857142866,66.28571428571428,11.23809523809524,35.714285714285715,10.813802987103665,5.313428571428573,1107,54,149,38,21,344,122,210,0.152,0.731,0.11699999999999999,-0.9059999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,1,60.0,2,9,0,2,2,13,0,5,14,0,14,1,0,1,4,35,24,15,5,6,5,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,5,13,0,0,7,1,0,1,1,5,0,3,4,1,12,7,26,14,2,20,0,0,1,0,18,11,0,6,8,93,17,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196462816378096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359361177306627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33286649390835843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831637059030833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09372953852497606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093226608511509,0.0,0.0,0.10510810190473448,0.10421630711977478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777935505913286,0.07846789580022068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434195160900319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848046144040504,0.0,0.11616407017041795,0.0,0.11930178579122705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227232889893332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3636665361744687,0.0,0.0,0.5787768636655368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15913445821805144,0.0,0.0,0.09742944097441067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3360529135218415,0.12341481579214432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10337564697731992,0.11016755600140113,0.12729444381999178,0.0,0.0,0.08731670700472455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06814782969971232
bipolarreddit,JungleCatStevens,2019/04/01,"Made process ln acceptance and combating shame   I've always been the type of guy who tried to hide my diagnosis, like if nobody knew it wouldn't exist or something
  I just got disability for my Bipolar 1 and have made a lot of progress in seeing myself as equal to others even as someone who has struggled with mental health
  I was talking with someone at my gym and they asked me what I did for a living (a question I used to fear extremely since I had to stop working)
  I was able to tell the upfront truth to them that I was getting disability for problems with mental health.  I wasn't hesitant with the truth, didn't downplay my diagnosis or make a cheap joke about it.
  I know for others to accept me, I have to accept myself, I've made a lot of progress in that regard, it may be the best thing I've done for myself in a very long time
",6.411150326797383,5.598816847058824,6.839019607843138,79.67336601307194,65.82352941176471,9.437908496732025,32.41830065359477,8.515128840125781,2.3518104575163408,664,23,135,8,9,217,97,170,0.087,0.747,0.166,0.9143,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,4,3,12,0,3,10,0,15,3,0,5,2,30,26,8,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,1,11,7,0,1,6,2,1,0,3,4,0,0,14,1,21,8,27,9,4,7,0,0,1,0,9,4,0,7,4,96,32,2,0.15119331910147538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580495333669278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141345343762056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15866806051048069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547232586399917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09986176132837142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17013451823396178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07899226895640292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092310905800255,0.0,0.0,0.14970515649022792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214228561730525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309189413128314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386541864344351,0.0,0.13350647075661673,0.133801329628518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570783063516363,0.0,0.42918832270600377,0.1009227145355984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3047346092122367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14467158727635446,0.0,0.0,0.16937111961024695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048150025886292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506867594938975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25621121726762963,0.11639600368156658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264043847575122,0.0,0.15806008471389854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152346279262766,0.1321496250099851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100446123007945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881620402325347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265033907978237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13058248361417962,0.0,0.12475032250403388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007053700961372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FuzzySpend,2019/04/01,What's wrong with me My whole life is failure after failure. I have never felt like I belong anywhere I'm standing since kindergarten. Everyone leaves me no one ever understands and I don't think I understand myself anymore. I keep trying to get better but I fail every time and I don't know what to do anymore. I've been alone my entire life no matter how many people are around me and I don't understand why or what to do anymore I can't keep being alone but I'm too afraid to do anything because I know I'll fail like every time,1.4366969696969711,3.7960052454545488,3.1104545454545485,89.08901515151518,82.9090909090909,5.121212121212121,21.89393939393939,6.42735559955562,0.5446666666666662,427,14,83,4,12,141,64,110,0.267,0.705,0.027999999999999997,-0.976,0,2,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,4,7,0,1,0,0,12,2,0,1,2,21,24,7,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,7,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,2,1,16,3,7,21,1,7,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,7,52,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29755888019131443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4273905147447104,0.0,0.0,0.11821279293617733,0.12788012682097788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08756850872772387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704791503675406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994083924414349,0.24206485821624565,0.13726498819372931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13792779060703855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505188346410946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553677795477488,0.0,0.0,0.1578940126050827,0.0,0.0,0.1521060017142742,0.0,0.0,0.2029303451067711,0.1403615534860774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14563988715476714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079275049093834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734184924393692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958973491927302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882985279919865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204596271498468,0.0,0.0,0.1675284747964943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752981384063247,0.0,0.0,0.4486382573399316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962296888687136,0.16038156389538458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15706016295717445,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,heyx_kid,2019/08/21,"is my life really gonna be constant medicating my therapist thinks I have bipolar 2. I'm mad about it obviously bc it's something that I probably won't grow out of. I was first diagnosed w depression and anxiety in my early teens, now at 21 hearing that my future will involve constant treatment and having to legitimately work to feel like being alive it's just really upsetting.

I've been on meds before and they've been effective in the past. I'm still not thrilled about medications in general though bc it feels artificial and like I'm ignoring my true thoughts to sugar coat it by turning off the fucked part of my brain. I know that's not how meds actually work but I'm just so pissed that I now potentially don't even have the option of feeling better without pills.

acceptance may not be happening.

edit: I know meds are super effective and are a tool to happiness for a lot of people. They were for me. I'm just pissed I now don't have an option and am basically guaranteed a life of medical expenses and having to try to feel okay. I'm already tired. Why keep going if it's not gonna necessarily fix anything.",3.6307216003810443,5.6804047466063405,5.605139318885449,75.59365325077401,73.93212669683258,9.539509407001669,29.27863777089784,9.93914555978268,3.2368588235294125,903,39,168,27,19,312,131,221,0.152,0.715,0.132,-0.7794,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,7,13,16,4,1,7,1,21,14,3,3,2,39,43,12,0,1,10,0,4,2,0,5,9,1,0,0,10,8,1,2,11,0,1,2,8,7,0,1,5,6,15,9,24,30,2,19,0,1,0,1,3,7,3,5,12,104,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.1206295535274876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13641125975639404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456446655657466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10172389149262588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518651496173824,0.0,0.0,0.10932664733283684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799424409251734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671659067661916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10646866391641273,0.12546573386059529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08164596310682481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25001206124749,0.0883099549253161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514611077425272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427926579888326,0.0,0.0,0.07025275538998145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10931156166135132,0.13158953365356416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393221018126921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987391318743693,0.0,0.0,0.13587017958577746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17462462305029305,0.1207832340469517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509230779002628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41192227505226,0.3735846753648385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338620502448634,0.11800366864172675,0.08569846915110964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332769331308115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583807463824331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951641919384721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871839915048687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14352552558751008,0.0,0.07920693937591501,0.12145024926243625,0.09813580666930556,0.0,0.14207625123083184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08392587599023124,0.1344566702843018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154252001404846,0.0,0.0,0.11915960441027368,0.0,0.17998510910065632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Dionizuz,2019/08/21,"Question about my bipolar father Hi Everyone,

I'm struggling and need some advice from people who know what it is to be bipolar. I have a father with bipolar disorder. It feels like a never-ending story because let's say it's almost the 8th time he got into manic episodes and depression.

I'm the oldest in our family and always the one who has to bring him to clinics or visit him.  It's the story of my life now for 20 years. I hate the clinics. To be honest, I'm sick of it and thinking about not wanting any contact anymore in the future as I eventually want kids and want a great grandfather for them.

I think he has a responsibility to not let this happen again in the future but I'm also reading it's getting more difficult everytime to not let it happen (get manic) as you are getting more vulnerable to stress.

Questions I'm having:

- How does he get rid of that terrible 'playing the victim role'?
- What's responsibility and what is being sick and not able to do something about it?
- When is it time to say: 'This is my limit, this is the end'.
- Does someone know more places online to talk about this?

Thanks in advance for the help,

- Jelle from the Netherlands",3.5802895886003228,5.443493611353714,4.981268673868076,80.81642610894049,73.58515283842793,6.917122500574582,26.463111928292346,7.669130373188453,1.5957021834061127,923,33,170,12,19,308,124,229,0.136,0.7859999999999999,0.078,-0.9423,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,1,1,1,2,9,12,2,2,15,0,17,8,0,1,0,30,41,14,0,4,6,2,1,1,0,0,8,2,0,1,19,9,0,1,7,2,0,3,4,7,0,1,1,3,12,5,30,34,4,19,0,1,0,0,23,6,0,5,11,116,31,1,0.1264449562511542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12356054782969872,0.0,0.0,0.12661635874944274,0.0,0.0,0.10111798583074358,0.10521233289521313,0.0,0.0,0.08598690623309092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539941982784836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707967171105093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890685553750973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449168745410904,0.0,0.22130566662581705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239854007742728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12082357437753465,0.0,0.0,0.11920105144066526,0.0,0.0639343691264216,0.09033230201072144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642490832724713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112958248062877,0.13940601065680674,0.0,0.0,0.22362971444402968,0.0,0.0,0.1248382163178658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475338882986312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13898168226869898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38789560402408463,0.08931181202180305,0.06177461864287007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937573328820078,0.09752214534518176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568237477697073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766101175978855,0.0,0.13210806684538773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832945785779459,0.0,0.12647917405207731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20110820867968998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713640110221066,0.09734350486377576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14484227017278445,0.1321877224170787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163166618486268,0.0,0.11641352730042318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16204164468436227,0.0,0.0,0.14746214166690075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237415338183456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142640616500813
bipolarreddit,sistergoldenhair2019,2019/08/21,"Extra pyramidal symptoms, just when i was this close to reaching stability. So i went off work in november, had a massive manic episode with psychosis (bipolar 1) and was diagnosed with OCD as well. It is now August, i am still on disability, but making some real progress towards returning to work. Then one morning I went to reach for my phone and my arm jerked back and forth so bad i couldnt pick it up. I work in psychiatry and recognized this as cogwheeling, a parkinsons symptom brought on by the risperidone. Told my doc, and he is gradually reducing it. For background, i am also on lithium, lamotrigine, prozac and loraz as needed for panic attacks. Ive never been on this much medication before and ive never had this side effect before. So I did some research and there are other EPS things going on i never realized were due to meds. When i paint or read, and sometimes just on my phone, my eyes jerk back and forth really fast and i have to shake my head a bit to make it stop and be able to focus again. And the tremors in my arms, weakness.
Because my grampa died of parkinsons this is really freaking me out. I am 37 and i have a 4 yr and 6 year old. I work in geriatric psychiatry so i know what happens to people with early onset dementia and i am seriously fucking freaking out internally as i am terrified. 
My question is, has anyone else had EPS and will it be reversed by stopping the risperidone? Is there anyone on lithium, a new drug for me, who has had these symptoms? 
Help me. I am so scared.",3.5943877551020407,5.582665200680275,4.9705496598639485,80.37206938775513,73.8639455782313,7.561142857142857,29.44707482993197,8.364918446050245,2.3204896870748297,1195,52,220,21,25,398,165,294,0.18,0.784,0.036000000000000004,-0.9940000000000001,0,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,6,18,13,4,3,8,0,31,14,4,4,3,44,42,32,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,9,0,0,0,15,23,0,2,4,1,0,5,4,12,1,1,13,1,32,1,38,25,5,44,0,0,1,1,7,18,1,4,21,168,47,6,0.11865721124729788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489012896479447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16593576204338198,0.12157833518334285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13498970770499774,0.0,0.1824801423532592,0.09907381507646884,0.07233233463993591,0.0,0.2019370945097768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295429427337738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12043457170133268,0.12314745171702347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13760469387552274,0.0,0.099122874236326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10969667978129784,0.0,0.0,0.06743562760834565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492818003452756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177653134600125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795334275123975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06521090014735688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15840921979183384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13180141234227002,0.11953465695990173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08722670314047422,0.08798281863980698,0.2745472688968713,0.114599874022524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451078291267338,0.0,0.08040519721393287,0.0,0.0,0.13921867127432458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226196994265754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329232325754817,0.0,0.11868932157382199,0.13505788376892958,0.1520296958331219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879656837641105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11735501598061295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947598021778604,0.19840548344190007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36999082656205057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883057867607521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133820502898697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10668708306951953,0.21999284720394985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3455354519543928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641135371377421
bipolarreddit,LuthierNewf,2019/08/21,"Lamotrigine (Lamictal) alternatives? Lamotrigine (Lamictal) alternatives?

So this year I finally demanded a proper diagnosis, and was put on Lamotrigine (Lamictal). It seems to be doing its job wonderfully, as I've not been manic at all. And no mania means no depression. It always starts with mania for me. I've been stable.

However the side effects, blurred vision and tremors, are too much. I've weened myself back down to 25mg/day, two weeks at a time, but no change. I have to come off it.

My doctor says my only other option is Lithium, which, if true, is fine. However, she knows very little about this stuff. 

So I come to you guys. What other options do I have for a mood stabilizer? I'm in Canada, so that may limit what's available to me? I just don't know.

Should I ask to be put on another anti-convulsant-type mood stabilizer? Could I expect side effects to be different, or are they all the same in that regard? 

I understand that it can take a long time to find out what actually works for me, but there's gotta be more than just 2 options. I'd appreciate any advice or experience you guys can share.",3.1772535211267585,5.492550328638501,5.183218309859157,76.87032042253522,76.23004694835682,8.767042253521126,25.673474178403765,9.3871,2.5474640375586857,872,32,162,24,20,300,134,213,0.048,0.86,0.092,0.8738,4,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,2,1,4,9,6,0,0,6,0,21,1,0,2,3,37,34,12,0,4,8,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,2,17,7,0,1,9,0,0,4,5,1,0,1,3,1,18,3,24,23,5,24,0,1,0,0,9,12,0,10,8,112,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.15135176824109767,0.0,0.0,0.15155846190228214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290526760105274,0.0,0.0,0.10547090864621972,0.1626321573517475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14499424999032207,0.0,0.0,0.11925960122397247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16407148551958387,0.2672037275385538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12383189989893333,0.0,0.0,0.10002438338820986,0.0,0.1335843503917496,0.0,0.0,0.16204278604823708,0.0,0.15874779483916213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517140947627124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16990058662541274,0.14175535108516502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.307139751579301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15390930092408078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17047391232246412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15544739433399626,0.0,0.1372554830660283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16894550879964612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401374087572315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179578437938204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3118295526599837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333892702315692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14119398863682794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977806991935464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775483357562513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661323301069325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808759816333553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15150670123348453,0.16146088059201602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12797081931452284,0.0,0.0,0.12440902182605973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681954906910969,0.11291206724579253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09987703270471347
bipolarreddit,DeezNutz133,2019/08/21,"Depression Poem I know I’m suppose to feel good
And care about myself 
But how can I? 
When all I think about is
Death, hurt, pain, unhappiness
The Sadness, it consumes me
I can’t help it, can’t control it
It’s just there, ALWAYS
Like a spiders web
It traps you inside
And you can’t get out
Can’t get out...
Can’t get out...
Can’t get it out of you
Can’t fix it
Can’t fix me

I lost myself long ago
My hopes and dreams crushed
By my own mind




I wrote this in my depressive state, 8-19-19, which is still ongoing.",-1.8759424603174608,-0.02892274107142967,0.6384523809523834,101.56765873015871,102.30357142857143,3.9174603174603178,15.150793650793652,5.82211442006289,-0.8467873015873013,391,10,98,4,18,131,68,112,0.228,0.637,0.135,-0.91,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,3,0,2,7,10,0,0,2,0,11,1,0,2,1,18,23,6,1,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,7,0,1,3,1,0,0,8,6,0,0,2,1,16,4,10,21,2,10,0,5,0,0,5,5,0,1,5,59,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964203397061666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843751631152201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259190730250493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.248524656582825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3816989643997835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120392392410205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4630727833013001,0.0,0.0,0.1858536667954977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485227012848096,0.0,0.0,0.2200823416959198,0.0,0.0,0.23720964301005054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177645734668867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082544705096819,0.0,0.0,0.1960943613187295,0.0,0.0,0.2418844874268992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22373609635883127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357803906212261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769568121589653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14198171377823868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bipolarmichigander,2019/08/21,"Recently diagnosed and struggling Hi all. Long time lurker, first time posting here, so this may be a long one but I’ll try to keep it as short as possible. I’m a 19 year old male (turning 20 next month) and I have bipolar. 

Three months ago I finally decided to seek help because I had been feeling like I may be bipolar for a long time. My grandmother had bipolar, my brother has bipolar, my mom suffers from depression...So I saw a therapist, and he referred me to my GP to get started on antidepressants because he said “you don’t have bipolar, you just have depression.” When I saw my GP, we went through the DSM criteria, and he diagnosed me with bipolar 1 and prescribed Depakote. 

I thought I would start to be better by now, but I haven’t. The meds have helped a good amount, but meds alone aren’t enough. I stopped seeing my therapist about a month and a half after my diagnosis because he was horrible. He made me feel ignorant for thinking I might have bipolar. He did nothing to help me understand my bipolar, offered up no help other than “Just keep trying to get up and do things when you’re depressed.” He even went off on a 15 minute tangent on his trip to Utah a few years ago. I know I need to find a new therapist, but its so damn hard to find someone who’s a good fit and is covered by insurance. I will find someone, it’s just hard. 

I forget to take my meds too. Not because I don’t want to, it’s just because I literally don’t remember. I’ve been good the past few days, and haven’t missed a dose, but I still beat myself up over it all the time. 

Bipolar 1 also doesn’t necessarily feel 100% right. I definitely have manic episodes as well as depressive episodes, but sometimes they are so close together I think I may be ultra-rapid cycling, or even mixed mania. But I don’t have a therapist to talk to about this on a regular basis, I have to wait to see my GP to talk about it (luckily my GP understands bipolar pretty well as he has multiple patients who have bipolar). 

All this just makes me feel like I’m drowning all the time. I’m married with an almost three year old, but I don’t really have anyone else in my life. My wife tries to understand my bipolar but she doesn’t really get it. Our relationship is not very good (we’re in marriage counseling), which I think contributes to my symptoms being so bad. Besides one friend from high school I very occasionally talk to, I have no friends, which makes me feel so isolated. I have no one to talk to when I’m feeling really depressed, or no one to check me if I’m in a manic state.

I guess I’m just posting because I need someplace or someone to talk to about my bipolar, to feel like I’m not alone, and maybe learn some ways to cope and improve my symptoms, remember to take my meds, etc.",4.288307254623041,5.16308794594595,5.286593172119492,83.17390113798011,70.44144144144144,8.724988146040777,31.72238027501185,8.99025400887824,2.5597927927927926,2170,95,445,40,38,714,238,555,0.128,0.7490000000000001,0.12300000000000001,-0.245,1,2,0,0,0,0,66.0,2,2,1,3,27,22,1,1,21,0,45,19,0,3,4,84,93,38,1,5,22,3,9,3,2,6,19,1,0,1,16,15,0,5,23,0,1,3,17,10,2,8,13,14,63,12,60,69,10,58,0,6,4,0,37,17,1,11,37,276,79,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048414872240706,0.0,0.05921644160446904,0.12249470178602792,0.0,0.04729126127341035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04134946154571823,0.06059210665078665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049376323177652635,0.2162935622466325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05230123347338122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038138007992748066,0.0,0.20373596318703716,0.12004415757074385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049400773239761005,0.0,0.0,0.06110358474745125,0.06595258350408717,0.07811790963659307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20930755798859066,0.12674090946495542,0.0,0.06478090352773272,0.16214846409154915,0.05030128905060149,0.0,0.0,0.09137708554609716,0.0,0.09268879568478926,0.0,0.0,0.19840282184661254,0.0,0.0,0.06514527884574439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594898159251308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15855120617884727,0.06248072599654642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512608456299297,0.0,0.0,0.03249975261269904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04176970301005194,0.08667299708269233,0.0,0.0,0.1570012390850001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05595617742674977,0.0789478514047768,0.0,0.05941034111673003,0.0,0.2627483003883505,0.0,0.0,0.06273424721807976,0.0,0.06925969571362195,0.1416060420799196,0.0,0.0,0.08769760372883276,0.0,0.05711418714911672,0.06289210403179324,0.0,0.0,0.0567428550016704,0.0,0.12410715488151025,0.0,0.16028909353026385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05645227009986933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666726963788225,0.11327241778164365,0.060162856029288475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365264457004913,0.0,0.05838994165678056,0.06349023294430838,0.13397975327028608,0.050502059495213684,0.05625214378418941,0.0,0.0,0.05984907189134375,0.09424791656893268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15031793290161927,0.0,0.058487292440539226,0.0,0.08371392586872574,0.0,0.04722630912086233,0.04944057752840316,0.0,0.06182207909507706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293047435385498,0.08892624502089631,0.2376575067093097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746471132619276,0.039287516343112366,0.11367642006984212,0.0,0.04694760025965178,0.17241420040691222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12044895572238228,0.06432329058059875,0.0,0.18468885723499345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758724751970976,0.0348801097601898,0.04693962602304755,0.0,0.0,0.10634123433029756,0.10963984693564242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042008716185306785,0.0,0.0,0.11424547522979217
bipolarreddit,pandeMOMium,2019/08/21,"Hypomania for me is an idea storm with no precipitation. my hypomanic thoughts:

-I am going to write a book about being a bipolar mother
-i am going to write a book
about my trauma
-i am going to make a coloring book
-i am going to make a blog
-i will make new jewelry with these spare parts from broken jewelry
-i should write and perform songs
-i am very interesting
... ... ...
... ...
...



my hypomanic reality:

-neeer ne neeer na neer da doot doooo doh de deee boop buh *wind up monkey clashing cymbals* buh boooooop *jack in the box* dooop dah dee da dooot SQUIRREL",1.832857142857144,4.613608047619049,3.5178571428571463,83.19964285714286,87.57142857142857,6.428571428571428,22.73809523809524,7.7094869923839395,1.4602380952380956,435,16,82,9,14,144,71,105,0.07200000000000001,0.902,0.026000000000000002,-0.6258,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,7,0,9,1,0,3,0,12,17,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,5,0,4,1,1,0,0,1,2,11,1,12,13,1,7,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,1,43,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.610429063650094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031287034863215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.537721649188952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593402637263014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2907832067783448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21317650903210592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215588085146789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Peaceandheart,2019/08/21,"Do any of you freelance/work from home or struggle to work at all.. Just interested in hearing your experiences. How does it differ from being employed regularly? Do you make just as much? Also, what does your day usually consist of? What do you do on bad days? Are you medicated?",2.2112087912087937,5.092585615384618,4.099450549450552,78.90269230769233,87.07692307692308,6.817582417582417,26.659340659340657,7.957251820313856,2.269364835164835,220,10,39,5,7,74,39,52,0.11800000000000001,0.835,0.047,-0.6199,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,6,0,1,4,3,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,2,1,6,8,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,1,9,7,2,6,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,3,31,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192390943744723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16360197351600786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20087342056436516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31030711182973103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513538560708512,0.0,0.0,0.4210646178164969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353324308282045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711500238989559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413203580859349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16058835426877416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423580378023257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17685325038564173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25150541180533553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649637857644015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35028876250884444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,KYLO_RENS_DAD,2019/02/03,"How do you move on and let go of the past? It seems like my past mistakes haunt me. I can't let go of the small, stupid things I've done years and years go that don't even matter.",-0.4518292682926841,1.1033500975609771,0.7831097560975628,107.7044207317073,84.60975609756099,4.1000000000000005,12.689024390243905,3.1291,-1.9553463414634151,138,1,39,0,4,43,30,41,0.21899999999999997,0.7240000000000001,0.057,-0.733,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,0,2,0,6,0,0,1,0,6,10,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,4,2,2,0,0,1,0,4,1,3,7,0,10,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,5,22,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518135768450228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16252596753182325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41953931120614657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5032435620712186,0.0,0.1202166722524862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615319441585979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4698005801758534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240115813717849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634770217301256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3169201784709492
bipolarreddit,positivetalk,2019/01/03,"We just made a website for free advice! Hello everyone, we are a small team of individuals offering free help.

Check us out.

​

[https://positivetalk.godaddysites.com/](https://positivetalk.godaddysites.com/)",16.7374,23.21132264,11.863500000000005,21.13925000000004,62.6,8.9,30.25,8.841846274778883,4.155200000000002,186,6,17,4,4,53,22,25,0.0,0.6759999999999999,0.324,0.8622,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,4,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,0,10,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.329664250156924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3655293776000773,0.40992927940458745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32236190068813825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22612527111294836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31921815282301186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40580249593926265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40992927940458745,0.0
bipolarreddit,healthierlurker,2019/01/03,"I feel euphoria. I was diagnosed BP1 almost 10 years ago but if you go through my comment history you can see some of my backstory with this disorder. 

Since November I have spent almost every moment outside of class and work in my room. I stopped reaching out to friends and would just lay in my bed trying to drown my life out with movies. I’d go to bed at 7pm every night and just wake up early just so I had more time awake to lay in bed and do nothing. I was doing great at work and finished my semester strong but it took the life out of me basically. 

New Years Eve I finally decided to go out with friends after not drinking since October. (I wasn’t drinking on purpose because of my depressed mood). I didn’t over do it but I was definitely drunk and didn’t get home til 4am. 

The next morning I woke up around 11 and it was like a switch was flipped. Instead of wanting to be sedentary in my room all day I suddenly couldn’t sit still and had motivation and energy. That night I couldn’t get to sleep until after 3am and had racing thoughts all night. I didn’t feel terrible though thankfully, just restless. 

This isn’t my first rodeo so I picked up the signs that I’m going into an up swing and notified my doctor and preemptively took an extra dose of my antipsychotic (I’m allowed to add doses as needed) and took a small dose of Ativan (.25mg). 

Today i haven’t taken any extra doses but man do I feel incredible. Not out of control though by any means. I won’t let it get that far. But I went months living like an empty shell and now I feel a fire in my soul. 

I’m going on an overnight trip with a female friend from school tonight. Wish me luck guys. ",2.7459147869674183,4.3334669707602345,4.147840434419384,87.07960526315792,75.19883040935673,7.341854636591477,25.37218045112781,8.07648339933343,1.41345664160401,1312,45,277,21,28,434,184,342,0.098,0.767,0.135,0.9227,1,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,0,6,12,13,0,1,11,0,26,13,2,4,2,63,55,27,1,7,12,0,5,2,3,2,8,0,6,2,9,26,3,2,8,3,1,10,11,3,0,1,20,6,36,9,49,29,6,63,1,1,1,0,8,25,0,5,29,171,45,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086514188259127,0.0,0.2052893567475796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13941481846146808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125182924377996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062486539575779314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11496888873882595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610771363771394,0.0,0.08828803220814206,0.1040411548772598,0.0,0.0,0.11748044348393122,0.10491895482239888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20083317566688288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17273099156987326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20731990149863894,0.0,0.0,0.11229001316529297,0.0,0.08719131877043358,0.0,0.0,0.2375870105281426,0.0,0.16066503430697684,0.0,0.2912818336600382,0.0,0.0,0.1130129255695723,0.0,0.10149678536561893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282160169148316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481905053161047,0.14480565245284613,0.1001582406078918,0.0,0.09051443467273032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165878696555263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181909309447448,0.0,0.0,0.07600669750661572,0.0,0.09900066960556927,0.10901600325317673,0.2885840417536196,0.0,0.09835700936845024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10374126794530623,0.08168379272292994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695875927911136,0.0,0.10257975511519403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818612057588791,0.08569937742821697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437350107150293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20142271207586568,0.08137809700320672,0.0597719135710648,0.0,0.09716344323657657,0.0,0.3416629021331518,0.06959465978026455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06046053344257296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502383561672194,0.0,0.0,0.11787652689919675,0.0,0.0,0.1492507797575085,0.0,0.0,0.07281712721845163,0.0,0.0,0.13202065443186847
bipolarreddit,RecycledAccount1,2019/01/03,"Does anyone have a sudden problem with worrying about what to do with their time, or worrying about time, and how much there is, in general? I'm struggling greatly with anxiety over time itself. I'm coming out of a manic episode. Before and during the episode, I had no problem getting up early, because I didn't worry about what to do with my time and any extra time. Now I have overwhelming dread over time, as if I had something very specific and difficult to worry about, but its just simply the passage of time. It feels like I'm in jail, although I don't know what that is actually like. Can anyone else relate to this?",6.481038961038959,6.541471082644629,6.852255017709568,76.7230578512397,65.44628099173553,9.558913813459268,32.98819362455726,9.23628265651192,2.898890436835891,495,19,90,8,7,161,75,121,0.134,0.785,0.081,-0.3453,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,0,8,9,0,3,4,0,11,0,0,1,0,20,18,10,0,3,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,10,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,3,1,7,3,21,15,2,17,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,2,12,66,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.13591707060059158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471509387284596,0.0,0.1065487262567748,0.0,0.0,0.19477545971753427,0.1427086954338215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490372152720613,0.0,0.11851691863409752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119977283128752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188476075785627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635046695272487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07042409174595711,0.09950157343145756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276798824497586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15355655836722132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07654457904905998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13609022722268901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10238673685898413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665440682079415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072244555012982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560557049967554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5685065227819249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492048679524172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5657819119754472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cozmiksoup,2019/01/03,diagnosed later in life Has anyone else been diagnosed bipolar after the age of 35?,7.421999999999998,8.8820352,8.353333333333339,61.89000000000002,63.66666666666666,11.333333333333336,35.0,11.20814326018867,4.8450000000000015,68,3,9,2,1,23,14,15,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26703802700385804,0.39130852028492497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7752544723124971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3190340218535879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2697519789467825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,donut-call-list,2019/01/03,Wish I had someone to talk to who just got it I’ve just come down from a really terrible manic episode where I was almost hospitalized. Unfortunately it happened in front of my friends. And while they’re all here for me and want to support me (and I love and appreciate them so much for it) it’s hard because I just don’t quite get how to make them understand this feeling ,4.784399999999998,5.589318640000003,5.678666666666667,81.06600000000002,69.26666666666667,9.2,31.0,9.3871,2.5529999999999995,298,12,62,6,5,98,57,75,0.085,0.6890000000000001,0.226,0.8863,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,2,1,7,4,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,2,1,16,14,7,0,2,3,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,3,2,9,3,10,11,2,6,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,1,1,43,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265601797865892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16168921289136318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284827110636841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13411445055849774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20492550335004575,0.0,0.13857812745284598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121384565910227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345528445108272,0.0,0.2376049559089688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393914851611422,0.0,0.17705126061792534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949835719266972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821177807597593,0.0,0.0,0.16992097640519774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22473889654289025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30099376051236565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21319167227216212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761265351215636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15644675044720846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050154958506681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,barchives,2019/01/03,Accidentally double dosed on Lamictal? I am on 250mg per day of Lamictal for Bipolar 2. I thought I missed the dose I was supposed to take 12 hours ago so I took it now but I think I actually did take it this morning. Should I be worried? What should I do? ,-0.21563492063491907,2.0321476481481504,2.7148677248677267,89.33833333333332,91.03703703703705,6.048677248677249,24.38095238095239,7.447530270364453,1.284828571428572,199,9,45,4,7,70,41,54,0.139,0.861,0.0,-0.6848,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,7,3,0,0,0,5,13,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,0,9,0,5,6,1,7,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,30,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.33100483864805075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006754003281765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21875234937159432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33403819242791416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5100640028921821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21734209753131908,0.0,0.2692824925756511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.376857497267438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34446841308431536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,echo-of-an-echo,2019/01/03,"Help connecting with a friend Kindly direct me elsewhere if this is not an appropriate space to ask questions. I have a buddy of five years that our friend group and I are struggling to connect with. They are bipolar2, so they have their ups and downs over time. All around we enjoy their company, they're a lot of fun to hang with, but this past year they've become kind of withdrawn and even aggressive. They'll stress that they haven't spent time with anyone in a while, but when we make plans they will either insist we have to do it some other time (without even giving when they are available!) or complain when they do spend time with us. 

I worry a lot about how much they've withdrawn, I think it's taking a negative affect on their health, however I've become frustrated with how they've been treating my friends and I. I want to be mindful in approaching this, and supportive. Wondering how to help them get out more, and perhaps also discuss how their communication has become off putting and discouraging. Any advice or insight is appreciated ",8.694517766497462,8.007525177664977,7.726502538071068,74.75523604060916,61.18274111675128,10.519593908629444,34.92842639593909,9.642632912329526,3.147824771573603,848,30,152,13,10,261,122,197,0.129,0.7240000000000001,0.147,-0.126,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,5,0,12,1,13,15,2,2,7,0,16,1,0,6,1,43,26,22,0,2,8,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,8,18,0,1,4,0,2,3,4,6,0,1,2,0,25,9,26,21,7,24,0,1,0,0,28,10,0,8,11,115,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131125029755912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730851500584894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125109783401933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382598804268473,0.0,0.0,0.11945401055281345,0.12544581876711988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4445937635283748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772572067807611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3110153681086309,0.0,0.07010665927694065,0.1287234614955004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426334688144108,0.0,0.0,0.17988412689052544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794681900311147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281603183323454,0.0,0.0,0.0895702130692833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13548963222203095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986421673674093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12809574348426367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13489401666558282,0.15031905692471015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15370963725814127,0.14028036731591387,0.0,0.0,0.15227270999101766,0.0,0.0,0.1008911904788208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598098605964125,0.0,0.0,0.3129797990308897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16140926512271253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791463936638852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12935053880881947,0.14551901916172855,0.0,0.136272421034868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728228001387569
bipolarreddit,arkhanea,2019/01/03,recommended English speaking doctor (psychiatrist?) in Tokyo hello...does anyone would recommend an English speaking doctor (psychiatrist?) in Tokyo (preferably around Setagaya ku) to do a diagnostic? I suspect a bipolar disorder but since I am not a doctor I want to get some contact where I can initiate the process. Thank you,6.4477987421383665,10.138007018867928,7.002169811320754,60.59369496855348,73.15094339622641,9.571069182389936,40.90880503144654,9.725611199111238,5.708537106918239,264,17,32,8,6,86,40,53,0.094,0.769,0.13699999999999998,0.4866,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,0,4,4,0,0,0,8,7,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,5,6,1,4,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,0,23,5,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824892980628188,0.0,0.0,0.2323351876311104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29911554766652243,0.8013986762807919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13635577208265365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21589246767739428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24028323881898514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393783881449932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853988139773164,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,footwords,2019/01/03,"Seeking advice on a close friend who is having her first episodes. I've got a very close family friend who seems to be experiencing her first experiences with bipolar. Her mother was diagnosed bipolar. My friend has had what clearly seem to be manic episodes with full-on hallucinations as well as very depressive episodes. She believes that her hallucinations are her having a spiritual experience. Even when she is depressed, she thinks she is being punished for her behavior. She thinks the truth of the world is being revealed to her.

​

We've been talking to her family and they are afraid to take her to the hospital against her will. The problem is that she is convinced that she is right and everyone is conspiring against her to label her as sick and that they just want to give her drugs to kill her. 

​

What are the other options available to her and her family? Are psychiatrists available for in-home care or diagnosis? How can she get help when she refuses to believe that she has a problem?  I'm scared for her safety because her depression gets extremely severe. She thinks that a mass shooting happed because she went out to a club one night. She thinks her small behaviors put peoples lives at risk. She hasn't admitted to being suicidal but I know that there's a strong link between this condition and suicide attempts and it seems like a bad idea to wait for it to get to that point.

​

We tried to wait it out for a while to see if her episodes would let up temporarily enough for her to see that she needs help but she seems to go straight from manic to depressed and back without any break. Or, if there is a break it doesn't seem to matter because she thinks everything she's experienced is real and that we can't see the truth. The only time she said she wanted help, she meant help in finding someone who will validate her hallucinations.

​

My family and hers aren't sure what to do but she clearly needs help. Any suggestions or resources you might have would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!",6.4383032271158935,7.860842374670187,6.035897097625334,77.7512964278466,65.88654353562005,9.208077937893242,33.046580069007504,9.466822959209583,3.046298477775523,1656,70,295,32,26,512,181,379,0.107,0.742,0.151,0.9623,0,0,1,1,0,1,43.0,2,1,2,4,9,25,2,3,17,0,40,5,0,1,5,65,74,24,3,10,10,1,0,1,3,5,5,1,0,0,22,17,0,3,17,1,0,3,5,12,1,3,7,6,53,13,46,55,1,27,0,4,3,0,68,14,0,12,9,209,75,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06633075019660956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941882575811189,0.3299225392807217,0.09232034169009316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052194900357559484,0.05667628092868161,0.12413555635612443,0.0,0.0,0.15295318503542268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920734907282508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338569569734616,0.06889594000192469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871829989765575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07013733935667847,0.0,0.044833558952894405,0.0,0.0,0.06486146646859901,0.061005431125231886,0.13279772827859102,0.2559618035096972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06204034181822996,0.1154759935870234,0.0,0.0,0.15732986087951698,0.0,0.10639221159241506,0.06511589575838367,0.03857730291280894,0.0,0.05428918203127042,0.07483703683094202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274899214002407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07662733321401588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509825678352268,0.0,0.037304622755378526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06941106166116742,0.0,0.033162339190488395,0.0,0.0599385605424837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07200908432141953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066310542857664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06370001322914304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04599668986104545,0.051625176002797486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04705887740992192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06416776665862399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990241811648254,0.0,0.06823732539178808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726136877047678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057968449799906625,0.06456864543118206,0.0,0.06795890193052594,0.0,0.16227275704141592,0.3089732856873015,0.0,0.07668415363672301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05751380989560824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14849761383972532,0.0,0.06397532489838925,0.0,0.05103669654181707,0.05455871457501755,0.0,0.0624940301293692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174711921361106,0.0,0.0,0.03958089638711215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04608550828114137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201486663120136,0.08007379943942385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610315357982598,0.06292468096039319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543310833557933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964388454525216,0.0,0.3299225392807217,0.0
bipolarreddit,squeakylemons,2019/03/06,"Bipolar and ADHD I saw a post from about a year ago about a person taking lamictal and vyvanse along with other things, but I couldn't exactly find what I was looking for.

​

I've been taking lamictal for a while, but recently stopped taking it because I kept forgetting about it (I know, very bad. I'm back on it now). I've also been on vyvanse/other ADHD meds like adderal for a while as well. Apparently I've been manic recently according to my pdoc, which isn't surprising, so she took me off of vyvanse for the next month until I get my bipolar back in check. She said that stimulants like vyvanse can influence manic bipolar. 

What I was wondering if this was true. I've never had a problem before, and vyvanse helps me concentrate in school. Has anyone else had this experience where stimulates affected their manic-ness?",6.490000000000002,7.369562363057322,7.068031847133759,72.35172929936306,65.49681528662421,10.356433121019107,34.808280254777074,10.355215969177356,3.867619617834397,669,30,112,16,10,220,98,157,0.07400000000000001,0.79,0.13699999999999998,0.8743,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,0,10,7,0,0,7,0,12,3,0,4,3,23,24,12,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,1,11,5,0,2,3,0,1,1,3,2,1,0,12,3,14,5,19,11,0,22,0,0,2,0,6,6,0,2,16,79,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35925307015831925,0.0,0.13249070894301992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11952620854247452,0.0,0.16194404842693744,0.18161497035170732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450861809878173,0.15314340494534054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22985699131959586,0.12479609429471936,0.09111179222598244,0.0,0.1271827509044278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485789055778672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462043517043195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366072759320086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808870690732304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018248627812047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214143805355448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14604100130907888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12551201335133685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16602067327424214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11930064075802363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11527575619978098,0.0,0.15895652896036672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13050609242097982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431450786605621,0.0,0.0,0.14301674487759758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29515509442228843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421743740357936,0.0,0.0,0.1512654231529324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249584938315633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3371347037822514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929715861021032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16605986698266004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12332335175722152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13438597543151007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16208719904728042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18161497035170732,0.09624983650716597
bipolarreddit,MentalHealth_Help24,2019/03/06,"Gabapentin good? For those on Gabapentin, or who’ve been on it before, did it work well for you? Also, what’s your daily dosage? Thanks ",1.0223076923076917,3.6190070000000034,0.10653846153846304,105.87596153846157,94.3846153846154,2.6,14.192307692307693,3.1291,-1.6832000000000005,106,2,23,0,4,29,22,26,0.0,0.713,0.287,0.8146,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,3,4,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,15,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3877678774538112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4126072931479413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40670432040033205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4464233144809313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43597605151274255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3530070784262224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cinemagical414,2019/04/05,"Recent experience with lamictal & painkillers Hello friends.

I've been on lamictal for about 8 months. It was a godsend to me. Starting from a very low dose, it helped me feel more content and at-ease, and I went from having panic attacks every time I left the house to being able to go about and live my life.

Here's the wrinkle: I initially spiraled into crippling depression and anxiety last year after tapering off of the opiate pain medication oxycodone. I was on on oxycodone after undergoing a surgical procedure to stabilize much of my cervical spine, which had become unstable as a result of a genetic condition I have. I was in a horrible place, and Lamictal is what finally got me out of it.

I was about 9 months post-op last year and doing really well, feeling really great about my health and future, when a bunch of my pre-operative symptoms suddenly returned. Scans confirmed that my surgery had failed, and I had to go through a revision procedure -- a more complex procedure than I had before -- earlier this year. Currently, I am a bit more than 2 months post-op from the revision surgery. I was hoping to keep my pain meds low and get off of them quickly this time around, but the surgery was predictably much more painful, and I also developed an infection shortly after surgery that sent my pain levels sky-high -- unlike anything I had experienced before. So while I wanted to limit my use of oxycodone, I ended up on double the dose I took last year (60 mg total per day, vs. 30 mg total per day last year).

I have spent the last month carefully tapering off of oxycodone. I am now down to 25% of what I was initially taking after surgery (i.e., I'm now down to 15 mg total per day), which is 50% of what I was taking last year. Everything seemed to be going smoothly, which I attributed in part to being on lamictal this time. Then about a week ago, just before the step-down to my current oxycodone dose, I started to feel the depression creep back in. Hoping to get ahead of it, I called my p-doc and we decided to increase my dose of lamictal a bit, from 125 mg to 150 mg. But instead of protecting me from decline, I feel like the increased dose accelerated the onset of symptoms. I am significantly more depressed and irritable, and I have started to become anxious and a bit agoraphobic again. Making matters much worse, some physical symptoms have flared up this week, including a very alarming sharp pain right at the base of where my surgery was performed. While these symptoms may be a normal part of the long healing process after a major surgical procedure, I am terrified that something got screwed up again. I took a little extra oxycodone this morning and it has helped the pain somewhat, but this is obviously not the direction I want to go in for the sake of my mental health.

I guess I'm posting here because I feel frightened and a bit trapped. Last year, lamictal was like a miracle for me. I felt relief at a very low dose, and I continued to experience improvement as I increased the dose. I was hoping for the same result when I increased the dose last week, but I am only feeling more depressed and anxious. That said, there are a ton of other factors in play here, including my oxycodone taper, continued recovery from surgery 2 months ago, a flare-up of physical symptoms, fear about the state of my surgery and recovery, normal psychological distress resulting from my current ordeal (feeling isolated/cooped up, losing autonomy, feeling uncertain about my future, etc.), fear of the fear I experienced last year when things went south, etc. etc.

Typing this out, it seems unreasonable to expect anything from a small increase in my lamictal dose one way or the other -- or at the very least, it seems impossible to parse out what is a result of lamictal versus the many other things going on. But I guess I'll still throw my inquires out there:

1. Has anyone experienced a marked increase in depression or anxiety upon increasing their lamictal dose, and if so, did things even out with time or further dosage increases?
2. Does anyone have experience with oxycodone / other opiate painkillers that impacted your mental health or interacted with your psych meds?

For what it's worth, I also take Effexor XR 75 mg daily, Dexedrine SR 5 mg 2x/day, and Klonopin 0.5 mg at night to sleep.",10.302677899265102,8.300541286072779,9.828623767700305,65.15462233375158,58.97490589711418,13.274192507617853,43.09765190894425,11.926411293798804,5.195933672701202,3443,162,582,83,35,1117,330,797,0.146,0.772,0.081,-0.996,3,1,1,0,0,0,116.0,1,2,2,5,32,36,2,7,50,0,42,31,2,7,4,92,89,44,0,9,15,0,11,2,1,1,28,1,0,0,36,33,0,3,15,1,2,19,1,25,1,1,28,16,69,11,113,56,38,139,0,10,1,1,13,47,1,18,72,396,105,3,0.04726590755476978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379675037126517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559705838969469,0.0,0.05121259108810547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231657981384151,0.10679404366238716,0.0,0.06609884309877016,0.0,0.07779162920249752,0.04207667867807152,0.0,0.053771793371514255,0.0,0.036344565359262115,0.0,0.0288128585390948,0.10440296280096917,0.12065941809156512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20640851714831865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04826377625869311,0.0,0.048190742859695136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193040064742194,0.0,0.2035502845875521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04136271422050924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04186356482889843,0.0,0.15814194330590794,0.031218686164534562,0.0,0.039823565676770506,0.0,0.0424795499869142,0.13870538161542126,0.0,0.15956186011085313,0.19119250433047694,0.03376677380130242,0.04538268353669368,0.051777491386941286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036517522928662005,0.0,0.04938897173795053,0.0,0.13431152253321355,0.0,0.0756057281887546,0.05211082994244567,0.10413745195422942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15072434843171567,0.0,0.0,0.06336268302278293,0.04993902641001412,0.0,0.14083713333205394,0.0,0.054538511275980035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042012110371947874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3467522083840444,0.0,0.0,0.05135454685643637,0.0,0.03338530832488612,0.04618346987610116,0.04737285656933148,0.04173666232243091,0.04182884081460117,0.0,0.05287846040286801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03155036031859602,0.047920211582996884,0.0,0.0,0.10500353591446293,0.047615429235755735,0.09526583551021416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18863598233577808,0.0,0.10423764161334667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04435585235976302,0.09262110780255248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03202860221041414,0.035947852578768966,0.3017655487952399,0.05545635850682407,0.0,0.102368743705498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04938281335912476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580302180154705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06055950138463875,0.0,0.046669381508760384,0.0,0.0,0.04036482679524215,0.04496070186850616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908732116357075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047300042427932926,0.0,0.0,0.03638760483897521,0.0,0.0,0.1003651579306714,0.0,0.037746614829100966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24563687871088666,0.10661424049923957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942041062239416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024452319018416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502832486326258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04082256832153786,0.0,0.15599729527588216,0.05575731378648163,0.03751747737007292,0.11374158001452896,0.0,0.042497727299037516,0.08763193968027189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048167997837762336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24350155833296225
bipolarreddit,Batmans_Black_Top,2019/04/05,"Lamictal making me hypomanic I've been taking lamictal for bipolar depression and it's working great in that aspect but I can't sleep now. I have night sweats and I can't stay asleep for more than 2 hours at a time at most. After awakening from about 5 to 6 hours of disturbed sleep I still feel amazing and energized. And in addition to that I have a slightly raised anxiety level which leaves me randomly sweaty all over sometimes during the day.  

​

Would Tegretol, lithium or gabapentin be a good medication to mention to my psych when I visit them next? I mean I'm just fishing for options because I don't want to take APs but I still obviously need something for the manic side of things. I should mention I have a similar experience on anti depressants because they make me unable to sleep without pills so I'm starting to think I will need something for mania and depression.",5.8117857142857146,7.355178511904764,6.165238095238099,75.79642857142859,67.45238095238095,9.171428571428573,34.83333333333333,9.516144504307137,3.5014547619047622,722,35,123,15,12,232,113,168,0.12,0.784,0.096,-0.2653,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,1,7,8,0,1,6,0,11,8,5,2,2,26,24,10,0,5,5,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,1,18,4,25,19,3,22,0,3,0,0,5,8,0,4,12,82,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503518688770452,0.16861471893329738,0.0,0.0,0.10615488002844284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16917976759230954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949197463338578,0.0,0.35855439119112553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13573884147164986,0.0,0.0,0.07016377645273618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638953654360637,0.0,0.1529889526015473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273311235552131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14693214714566274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852534908645476,0.0,0.0,0.15115581497005792,0.0,0.13979118456752568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20578504597832584,0.0,0.0,0.14757820019660514,0.13022159504586345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4165957800163904,0.0,0.0,0.21365622302090495,0.13724217826110435,0.0,0.09821861345943518,0.14790507527855135,0.221635889251284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086680894598782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921893303041704,0.08891503810091357,0.0,0.0,0.08091501397862645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184721914322764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13376455206715118,0.0,0.1010226058434736,0.0,0.0,0.09857470699443548,0.0,0.16861471893329738,0.0
bipolarreddit,plcarpe1,2019/10/13,"How do I rent a room in a house? Besides having bipolar 1, I have been in hospitals and nursing homes most of the last 6 years, except for when I'm with my son in between. 

I'm sure that they can figure out I have a mental illness just by my credit history. This January alone, my stay in the hospital was 335,000 dollars. So besides having a mental illness, and no stable rental history, 
I look pretty bad on paper. 

my question is how much should I disclose to a potential landlord who will want to know my background?",4.695714285714286,5.6881003921568665,5.82619047619048,79.24500000000003,69.58823529411765,8.181512605042016,33.19887955182073,8.418075326091056,2.7432056022408977,408,19,74,6,7,136,74,102,0.129,0.759,0.111,-0.4329,2,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,0,7,0,11,3,0,2,1,15,16,6,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,4,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,11,2,14,12,2,11,0,0,1,0,4,7,0,2,3,56,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634189429501932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21236279885711687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25512318414426444,0.0,0.0,0.29347355198132913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13977829823749088,0.20732058028762754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135810627417173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.512628644888679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18696874446283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587546352459057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849183679974109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710919896193738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397119011798111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15001598451279188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637862529730353
bipolarreddit,grenadinesunny,2019/10/13,"How to deal with delusions during mania I recently was diagnosed with Bipolar I because I had a manic episode with hallucinations and delusions. In my first manic epsiode, I've had this  delusion that I was being followed and that I was psychic receiving visions about catastrophes that would happen in the future. I known now that it isnt true but I have this recurring delusion that I'm being talked about by everyone behind my back. I know its probably not true, people have more important things to do, but everytime I overhear a conversation I can't help but attribute what they're saying to me and think they're talking about me. 

Am I in another manic episode? How do you guys deal with hallucinations and delusions during manic episodes?",9.355523809523806,9.059038562962963,8.888465608465614,65.6866666666667,59.66666666666667,11.566137566137565,41.507936507936506,10.914260884657429,4.818238095238095,606,30,94,13,7,194,81,135,0.064,0.902,0.033,-0.5888,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,7,2,0,0,3,0,15,2,0,3,2,21,20,9,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,11,8,0,0,3,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,5,1,16,2,15,12,1,11,0,0,0,0,11,3,0,0,6,74,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24257875600501586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17788515000754032,0.0,0.14102190004775386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4770000012314791,0.0,0.23480387045854145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22105400361789804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19677654618342774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22906164460652365,0.20457201320378915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506142751980356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12713767761516795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16038109872620945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494222030114563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284190180397721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183969787841896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3718825042259116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536911264112064,0.14823247240799786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16433634677292006,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jesscomplainz,2019/10/13,"My Mood Swings Hi, I'm Jess. I'm a 21F and I was diagnosed at age 20 with bipolar I disorder. I was prescribed Lamotrigene and thrown into CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and TT (talk therapy) to work out my emotions. I was also told that I have BPD tendencies. 

Recently my mood swings have been out of control. I don't see my psychiatrist until a couple weeks from now to upgrade my meds to a higher dose. They are insane and very short lived. That's where the BPD comes in. I'm seriously considering telling my psychiatrist about how short these mood swings last and just how often they have been happening, because my lamygdol isn't helping them much anymore. I'm on 100mg tablets. Yet, I feel so not in control.

How do you guys control your crazy and sudden mood swings? Do you have any advice to give me? I've talked to my therapist and we sorted my feelings into boxes. Irrational, Rational, Stable, and Unstable and I've been writing down the dates and times each emotion happens. Let's just say irrational and unstable have been increasing day by day. My girlfriend is on anti psychotics. I've heard how sudden those change you and I'm worried I won't be myself.",3.3419805194805217,5.862679821428577,4.395194805194809,81.68616883116884,76.67857142857143,7.822727272727272,28.48538961038961,8.710501217029153,2.548337500000001,936,41,169,21,22,304,133,224,0.121,0.8690000000000001,0.01,-0.963,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,4,3,4,13,5,0,0,5,0,21,3,0,7,0,35,35,19,0,0,3,0,2,0,1,1,3,2,0,1,4,20,0,3,2,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,9,5,28,0,21,23,3,28,0,0,1,0,20,13,0,2,13,106,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258345429458369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297895043450823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875694000651463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770725734770233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849823775096561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3243677421998844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13622373922026754,0.11092570651025972,0.0,0.0,0.43328636327700415,0.0,0.14248380823161713,0.0,0.16609461997852362,0.0,0.0,0.13070090561721295,0.0,0.0,0.14758390921146633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897024158667674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13022202084507065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352987048959672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12750456086509435,0.2277453718071712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631318113946751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496639607960806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316781310874538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137080667463992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303670209815494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466226294835256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271468500910595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240469132891868,0.0,0.0,0.1026146402904754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20700416901392507,0.1125524350691615,0.0,0.2945240908608062,0.14951425856494835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508800958071128,0.0,0.0,0.12304719852678622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625041556062917,0.0,0.0,0.10329315963838734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09374757566558517,0.13077425300848886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,opheliawistow,2019/10/13,"I think this is rather manic To hell, to hell with balance! I break glasses; I want to burn, even if I break myself. I want to live only for ecstasy. Nothing else affects me. Small doses, moderate loves, all the demi-teintes -- all these leave me cold. I like extravagance, heat. . . sexuality which bursts the thermometer! I’m neurotic, perverted, destructive, fiery, dangerous - lava, inflammable, unrestrained. I feel like a jungle animal who is escaping captivity

 Anaïs Nin",4.6391139240506325,8.066941835443043,5.564417721518988,69.23928481012663,80.01265822784809,9.74227848101266,30.684810126582278,9.642632912329526,4.3500572151898735,371,18,54,13,10,121,61,79,0.27,0.562,0.168,-0.9183,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,0,2,7,4,0,3,0,2,2,0,1,2,10,8,1,0,4,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,10,3,6,8,2,3,2,0,0,1,2,1,2,1,2,30,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804652104408936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22175114404682728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16975873177770764,0.2398506036335269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3554970416055839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3280483114216381,0.0,0.2964619513427609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030157805523848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3221487382762593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553431426728189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151267344360428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3960528017087543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,iSuelo,2019/10/13,This Explains A Lot! I think I'm bipolar,-2.4333333333333336,-1.4696182222222198,0.5872222222222234,98.86750000000002,120.11111111111113,1.8,26.722222222222207,3.1291,0.2162888888888892,32,2,7,0,2,11,8,9,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7985836260421517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6018838693779462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RoBbstar1,2019/10/13,"Im low again The last time i was this low, was maybe 7-8 months ago? My girlfriend of 4 years, the girl who i was gonna marry, broke up with me because she couldn't handle my depression. I was broken. But woth the support of friends and family i got better. Im moving out soon, a raise in my job, FINALLY, workin on my license, but like a brick walll, i woke up from a nap and felt it. All the anger and self loathing, the self deprivation and malice that i feel right now, and worst is ever since my ex, i cant let anyone in anymore... I've tried. Probably burned the bridge of what coulda been a dope new relationship because of it. Even now, i cant even tell you guys what im REALLY FEELING! This is the best i could do. Im sorry for the rant.",1.1927223719676547,2.7466982138364777,3.162556154537288,92.61693396226416,79.44025157232706,6.3038634321653175,20.162174303683734,7.1686216300943375,0.26196460017969425,572,14,134,7,14,193,104,159,0.184,0.6920000000000001,0.125,-0.8766,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,2,7,12,1,0,12,0,13,0,0,0,2,16,20,7,0,2,2,1,3,1,2,1,0,0,0,4,8,7,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,7,0,0,8,3,17,5,13,8,3,22,0,5,0,0,12,9,0,0,13,80,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12046825159463245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477751472863114,0.09502530856217203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656882719804601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14261996948067882,0.1201936050242205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850608368857913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705154095933007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17952297780810653,0.12293045426293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12811559645385834,0.0,0.1374315030872002,0.0,0.13048650488510474,0.1488731682721644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10499696277700403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869263837898836,0.0,0.0,0.13456359635987505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5871866503406862,0.0,0.13486101319731805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11077765107047176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389682279665466,0.0,0.0663944824100854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13653106438058954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10847507512711227,0.14444151331725416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131254266784629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465245249019248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706181584521037,0.0,0.0,0.1459070747401746,0.0,0.1160589184759236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835492696099225,0.0,0.0,0.11241891209549792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15213031449192882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15421911939698188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878367596585256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07924510734463748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226802281214537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751594442199094
bipolarreddit,3Floo7floo6,2019/03/07,"Has CBD made anyone here /worse/? I’ve been smoking weed really heavily for a few months, and during my last manic episode it was giving me symptoms of psychosis like hearing voices and eventually started giving me 3 hour long panic attacks where I’m /convinced/ I’m dying. I finally decided to quit weed and threw all my weed out. I bought CBD oil at a hippy grocery store here and decided to try that since it’s literally proven to not make you intoxicated, calm anxiety, and there’s even studies showing it to be an antipsychotic. 

Last night I took it for the first time and I did feel great for the first hour or so. I was estatic that I finally found something that can help me sleep with out making me psychotic. Until I ended up having another panic attack. I became very anxious that every little ache I felt or inch I felt was a sign that I was going to drop dead from cancer anytime soon. I was shaking so hard and would stand up to do something but become so distracted that I’d just walk back and forth a few times and then lay back down in bed. I even heard voices like I usually do when I get really high on strong sativa. I honestly, definitely felt high, and CBD isn’t supposed to make you high at all! It’s just supposed to be like a muscle relaxer. 

I’m honestly so confused about why I had this reaction. I’m not manic anymore, I have definitely crashed into depression and have been depressed for a week or so now. The fact that I’m not manic and *supposedly* wasn’t high when this ‘panic attack’ happened is really concerning to me? Especially because I was still hearing voices? (I say *supposedly* because since there’s not any regulation laws on CBD, technically the manufacturer could leave traces of THC in it and not tell you, so I guess theoretically I could have been high. But I bought really expensive CBD from a really reputable store, so I’m hesitant to think that it would be spiked with THC)

I don’t have any of these symptoms during the day when I’m completely sober. I thought CBD was safe, everyone says it calms you down and relaxes you. Why tf did I have the opposite reaction? What are your experiences with CBD?",4.322095655348669,6.145133891566267,5.6639430449068975,76.85373859072656,71.5301204819277,9.078495801387367,28.961299744432274,9.573946990214177,2.82913654618474,1715,68,315,42,33,575,206,415,0.10400000000000001,0.774,0.122,0.9159,0,0,2,0,0,0,41.0,0,6,0,4,25,24,3,6,14,0,35,5,1,4,3,57,67,31,2,4,12,0,5,3,0,2,4,8,1,0,20,20,0,1,9,3,5,5,8,11,0,2,25,14,39,13,37,35,4,56,0,2,0,0,15,21,0,5,31,200,59,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587885543609904,0.08163059794651611,0.05955363988440175,0.08794627780297169,0.07720446999065256,0.05443325318776058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656906087065274,0.0,0.11972088075693638,0.0,0.09491104838722106,0.08597719175213889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08162232911571297,0.0,0.0,0.12431086444656868,0.0,0.0,0.050205631888356736,0.0,0.1341010360600529,0.0,0.08079411377262674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895037543300228,0.0,0.0,0.10283596919504727,0.0,0.06559044399866037,0.07438726618511984,0.0,0.07615045187901485,0.0,0.0,0.03936237575395817,0.0,0.22423936524288346,0.17055773843914118,0.0,0.1324352337471078,0.0,0.0853565044257343,0.0,0.0,0.04067245775055076,0.14935812384095265,0.044242911187775714,0.0,0.0,0.0858278864531067,0.08575854013182105,0.0,0.06884088300214798,0.0,0.06973667279360066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17548109943235665,0.0,0.05217998993539321,0.4112543489550332,0.0,0.0,0.15332953976370547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12691330382408927,0.0,0.08242997567526038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11409805638044075,0.07802432160613312,0.0,0.06889318408219107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366182434859123,0.15589278155633854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062137669619796373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305523754024165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27401417591794497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280111536746564,0.0,0.0,0.24935766779372825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238159848203456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128793627672004,0.0,0.07790439482954872,0.0,0.0,0.11986265503233735,0.0,0.0,0.05510133810467517,0.0,0.06216965216480653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16182812024278484,0.0,0.0,0.06804273520660875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04988196640560361,0.0,0.061802754279300286,0.09078779237343253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864921855080806,0.05285379992827437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573876514394735,0.064232896313097,0.0,0.0,0.06244510930047813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14049173670833706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933393986737436,0.11060221820201027,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bowzergrl,2019/03/07,I lost weight on Zyprexa :O Guysssss I started really committing to a diet after weight gain from all my meds and I'm actually losing weight on zyprexa! I legit didn't think it would be possible with all the hunger and it's notorious reputation. Anyway I am feeling really in control after feeling completely helpless (depakote weight gain like woah) with my physical and mental state and just wanted to share with you all! ❤️❤️,3.926203703703704,6.611168333333339,5.257515432098766,75.40256944444448,75.54320987654322,8.494444444444445,29.878086419753085,9.188382445141503,3.188393827160493,349,16,58,9,8,116,56,81,0.171,0.6409999999999999,0.188,-0.182,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,5,2,5,0,0,2,0,4,6,0,1,4,18,11,4,0,2,1,0,6,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,7,6,1,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,6,7,2,11,7,3,7,0,3,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,35,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.15900502070030728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17083850692423427,0.0,0.1827500135175338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647737714826457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07960379553883278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18228713267369268,0.17786723440141122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18098856638995867,0.0,0.16420425126427013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836893108584781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20876587138599015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11532910703865172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044047720213564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096105680633374,0.0,0.0,0.793663528057677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574723500816113,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hbkmr,2019/03/07,"In a bout of mania and can’t sleep. This just made it for me. “Everybody hurts.” (Post in comments) https://youtu.be/sSOCIxu2FPI

“Everybody hurts”
To have to wake up everyday and value your worth and self is a struggle on its own. I applaud every person with a mental illness and it’s an ABSOLUTE struggle to make your every day life “normal.” I hate that word (normal) but it is used so frequently. An illness that is not apparent to every day society is still an illness. I am so thankful that people have an outlet to a place like Reddit for emotional support. I appreciate you guys and I hope you guys understand the impact that this community has had on a lot of different people. Just keep humble and amazing and keep humanity going. Everybody hurts and you are worth it. Keep swimming with this. I’ll swim with you. All the way.",2.931039426523298,5.80003870967742,4.440591397849467,78.56310931899644,81.25806451612901,7.315412186379928,25.38530465949821,8.344100000000001,2.2290358422939067,660,26,113,15,18,219,91,155,0.128,0.6809999999999999,0.191,0.9252,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,6,0,0,5,11,1,2,11,0,11,6,2,3,1,28,23,11,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,5,12,11,0,3,1,2,2,3,2,6,0,0,2,0,12,5,17,21,3,16,0,3,0,0,12,6,0,2,6,81,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16924009169273835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13708725332758706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475943755169166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3316520180799192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745700638010426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598384411829968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12954340029334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13032182967933295,0.0,0.0,0.42139130004391856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34987829321321445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267799682594632,0.06410291965759599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115506438629828,0.0,0.12415473561543898,0.08758416022429467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322295231650653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257117252038135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18192995496832184,0.11456812103860575,0.13708725332758706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566357933055106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13688137469397518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13130545745882513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047850334428077,0.0,0.0,0.2743398222758793,0.0,0.0,0.14889634592389342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080118261414292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659496470039734,0.0,0.11332391543349235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10414894524215816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dinerdrive,2019/03/07,"rant went manic, got taken off of an antidepressant and put back on an antipsychotic a few weeks ago, and was subsequently in a depressive slump. so i slacked off and didn't do any of my coursework

then last week seemed to get better. i was still procrastinating but managed to get some work done. was feeling really stable. able to get back on top of hobbies like cooking/baking and reading. disordered eating was getting back in check (i was bingeing for the month before). made time to watch a bunch of movies.

the academic quarter is ending next week. i'm feeling better so naturally i decide to catch up on the coursework i missed. it's a shit ton of work so for the past few days i've been getting something like 5 hours of sleep. well i guess the stress and the lack of sleep is enough to send me manic again despite being on risperdal. fuck this. i miss the euphoric, godlike, powerful mania. i just can't sleep and can't focus. when i wasn't getting sleep for the past few days i was fucking exhausted the whole time and now i feel wired as hell.

i hate this brain",2.724228753702441,5.16771428229665,3.4789883800410135,87.84625199362043,78.42583732057416,6.086215538847117,24.306447938026885,7.2636822038024595,1.0719567555251772,851,30,166,11,21,269,125,209,0.16899999999999998,0.69,0.141,-0.8582,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,6,12,15,5,1,15,0,16,10,6,1,0,18,37,14,0,1,2,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,7,1,0,5,1,1,4,4,10,1,1,14,4,14,5,26,22,9,37,1,3,1,2,1,10,4,3,25,105,17,6,0.10998920892071368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749879733909693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479643375677096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25372473729401673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935927157035032,0.0,0.0,0.1945530342242316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278433277087608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186788114726742,0.0,0.09473354447464408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12605716244131607,0.0,0.0,0.11255714816357652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254641956199947,0.0,0.0,0.09741779257694354,0.1136482547839381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16684154650879932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20336650260939884,0.34478893214332085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796841807934823,0.0,0.12116551391922505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085915726729484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831721514796454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965588533454195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074703434182418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407444890859308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779233720225141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697477148754876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099942909064513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056953418866727,0.0,0.0,0.11001897356270594,0.0,0.07046190366926643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013004489562907,0.0,0.0,0.11290234236970947,0.0,0.0,0.4402745672479557,0.0,0.0,0.0846750666137275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783752432293519,0.0,0.12599226720393147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282711844629119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646801268481649,0.0,0.09889350799268966,0.10196109860423214,0.0,0.12279902381887894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601469081188709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Okzeins,2019/03/07,"Anxiety from Vraylar? I recently got prescribed Vraylar for bipolar. The doctor said it would also help with my anxiety. The anxiety does happen less often, however, I'm still getting it occasionally and when I do, it is the worst it's ever been. Has anyone else experienced this? Does it pass?",3.2396765498652265,6.362479490566037,5.3968194070080875,69.8556603773585,84.28301886792453,8.311590296495956,30.21293800539083,8.841846274778883,3.723773045822103,235,12,35,7,7,81,41,53,0.17300000000000001,0.78,0.048,-0.7219,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,0,5,2,0,0,1,5,10,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,2,3,0,3,6,2,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,28,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872558267463608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5373899948872642,0.0,0.0,0.16372850710187772,0.23992223340374655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23967032634010066,0.4098259595185921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956087104854213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21180904391019773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223377328687607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18727730205803655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070648793052676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569509693503662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312024780941888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227375926741472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869986403508866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633891057280267,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mirioparty5,2019/08/01,"Manic spending fuck up Feeling like booboo the fool. My manic spending got a little out of hand this week and i can't afford my rent. The money doesn't usually come out of my account until around the 5th, so i have until then to figure out how to get the money, but I'm a little bit at a loss. 

I know i can donate plasma and get about $50 before rent is due, and i might be able to borrow from someone, i just need to figure out who. I've never put myself in a situation like this, so if anyone has any advice that would be great.",5.092105263157894,3.891958561403509,6.725263157894738,80.68684210526318,68.64912280701755,8.301754385964912,25.140350877192983,6.42735559955562,0.942150877192982,412,7,87,2,6,144,77,114,0.061,0.815,0.124,0.7972,3,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,6,6,1,0,8,0,10,2,1,1,1,21,19,11,0,3,3,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,4,9,0,0,4,0,9,2,3,3,0,0,1,2,10,3,18,14,1,19,0,1,0,1,1,10,1,2,9,61,14,0,0.20488366897844384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20020995009126027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13932792066571872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14325942513231069,0.0,0.0,0.1823899032511096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17434091190539422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236799021194291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17648913918506526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359533910095232,0.14636893405589302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894116505191132,0.21408652155929728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638641865614173,0.2258849683516252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259870629971233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20019162317800812,0.4106945223750283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21734919528839686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15191864447597295,0.15801891619372138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059646765724246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302978282209917,0.0,0.0,0.17359726785279936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256504156330293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16434532086210665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14554348004264714,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hangingbythreads,2019/08/01,"Tightrope act Ever since my diagnosis in January, I have felt like my life is on a delicate tightrope act.

I had a massive manic episode for the first time in November/December and went psychotic. I ended up quitting my job.

In January I was voluntarily hospitalized, and diagnosed bi-polar. I was still so psychotic it took me a week after being released to realize I wasn't working for the CIA.

I started hunting for work. Employment gaps are ugly. I didn't know if I'd be able to land another professional position or explain why I left my last job.

Miraculously I found a job. I also met a girl through this job that I've started dating.

​

I'm so depressed, though, that hanging on to the job is brutal. I have trouble waking up, I basically order all my meals out, don't exercise. I just go to work, struggle through, go home and game and eat junk food, and repeat.

​

 I did an accommodation request, but the last two weeks I've started making dumb mistakes that I have no idea why I made them.

I feel I'm hanging on to life by a thread, and while I'm glad I'm no longer psychotic, I wonder if my meds (lamotrogine, abilify, modafnil, klonopin) are affecting me cognitively. 

​

I'm 31, and am scared I'll never be able to remain professionally employed or have a family. It all just feels like such a delicate balancing act that I'm too depressed to keep up.",4.331637239165328,6.096211805243449,5.897410379882287,75.42662921348317,71.39700374531836,9.280470840021405,33.6880684858213,9.725611199111238,3.5509034777956114,1100,56,200,28,21,374,151,267,0.133,0.8220000000000001,0.045,-0.9733,7,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,0,0,1,5,10,11,2,2,13,0,19,8,1,3,4,33,43,17,0,3,7,0,3,2,0,0,4,0,1,1,7,8,3,1,9,2,0,9,6,8,0,2,12,3,28,3,24,28,2,39,0,2,0,0,6,12,1,5,19,121,35,12,0.18205202819709126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279347058781388,0.0,0.2958799447365217,0.3318197112704133,0.0,0.09544871248670188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15680114512270465,0.09238948822747983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931423370921443,0.0,0.0,0.0806220305389257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233824108979082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581122498431344,0.0,0.09205097550785307,0.06502900265985864,0.08739924831981861,0.0,0.0,0.07742668109156209,0.11006901756560887,0.0998053261246449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346436301504316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130651394837827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275729019274167,0.0,0.0,0.4516463672420815,0.08090810372349805,0.0,0.0,0.05002551681263565,0.14839670114115508,0.0,0.0,0.09890003065659256,0.0,0.12858873143370786,0.08894142517395738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613101545698883,0.060760571239362626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110938131751272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07020487364856756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681737060735032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911329197291942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07529765949919211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193286043861822,0.0,0.07269349244219442,0.0,0.0,0.09516015380235314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943259668750411,0.0,0.05307800083267663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011332509449002,0.0,0.0,0.08891918917712198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603115581064754,0.0,0.0,0.08438202701996317,0.16427363906629078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871382938007707,0.19880406713501048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3318197112704133,0.0
bipolarreddit,thatgirlanya,2019/08/01,"Unable to stay awake on new meds I actually feel like I am being tranquilized. The area I just moved to has a shortage of psychiatrists. I finally got to see a telepsych in June. She talked to me for less than a minute (not exaggerating!) and put me on 500mg of Depakote for rapid cycling. I had just been on Effexor for around 10 months (no mood stabilizers because I was in denial). Just had my follow up appointment last week and I told her I was extremely depressed and exhausted. She decided to double my Effexor dose and said the sleepiness was because of the depression.

I SERIOUSLY cannot wake up. I sleep pretty much all day. I can stay awake for around 3 hours comfortably and then its time to nap again. I am suppose to be looking for a job but I cant keep my eyes open, let alone think straight. There is no way this is normal. I do have a new psychiatrist appointment at the end of August (they actually specialize in bipolar yay). I am thinking about going down to 250 Depakote instead of the 500 to see if I can wake the hell up. Has anyone done this and had issues with new doctors getting mad about not taking meds properly or anything? I would call my tele psych but she obviously doesn't give a rats ass and I never made a followup apt with her.",3.409721582181259,5.331770866935488,4.6697465437788015,82.61688172043014,74.20161290322581,8.110906298003073,27.93855606758833,8.841846274778883,2.2324556067588333,997,40,197,21,21,329,152,248,0.11199999999999999,0.8390000000000001,0.049,-0.9356,1,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,0,10,12,2,0,13,1,26,9,5,1,3,32,42,12,0,3,9,0,1,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,3,12,0,1,4,1,0,4,8,6,0,0,12,6,30,5,37,26,4,40,1,2,4,1,11,16,2,2,18,136,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.24467601082050275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12984017219572772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08765801506541662,0.0,0.10316458632121972,0.2232025833162405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15284249281783166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12801152419798206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084995436994921,0.0,0.21595311598762268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12831623184581595,0.0,0.1282917630043431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103604312650678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06338823283167082,0.08956067089289664,0.0,0.13733106079523585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654979576904464,0.12026138346565375,0.07124773090556277,0.0,0.1002657194876828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345912029379155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13084832821200107,0.12440526534942348,0.11143003511910707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218908155497937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281940485648169,0.0,0.06124693123786025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10527489653382484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862324829681065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27850416441806874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006502387196524,0.13324299117799182,0.09215758633145428,0.0,0.0966890975831924,0.3632344478317441,0.0,0.0,0.122830931412819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275411176603329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260262960377974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925067662234312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19979910213218047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12545538279836355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672444906114229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09425876219855936,0.10076351432291504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16065746236376646,0.0,0.0,0.0731012497468707,0.0,0.0,0.11979148256008645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950877934756076,0.10056011741465594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08905558956744744,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,drunkshitbird,2019/08/01,I'm feeling especially sad and crazy right now and could use a friend. I'm not trying to kill myself or anything but I definitely hate myself right now.,2.881,5.347857099999999,4.436666666666671,81.06500000000003,78.0,6.666666666666668,23.333333333333336,7.793537801064563,1.3093333333333337,123,4,23,2,3,41,23,30,0.243,0.509,0.248,-0.2046,0,0,0,0,0,1,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,8,6,4,1,1,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,5,0,4,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2824217741896445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740147671844321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17353064474397525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651530433352239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3388358477971517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37969647765537934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5861764878940982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330081404652065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964118965122935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Marbajar,2019/08/01,"Is my support/friend group trash? Or am I missing something? I started self-harming again and they weren't there like they said they would be. So I got persistent depressive disorder (Dysthymia) and cyclical BigSad (depressive ""episode"") has been super bad recently. I've been trying to change meds because what I've been on stopped working. And you get withdrawal when you get off mood meds, regardless of whether you're doing right or not. Good stuff. 

I have a group of ppl who straight up told me ""hey we got you. Let us know what you need."" I don't normally ask for help. I just make a lot of dark jokes and such. When you spend most of your life pretending to be fine, you don't ask for help, you know?

Welp. When things got bad I said ""hey. So I'm having a lot of trouble rn. I'm alone a lot and I really shouldn't be because last time this happened, I hurt myself."" So they're response was basically ""I had depression once and sometimes my gf is alone a lot. We're all having a hard time rn. I guess come to my house if you know I'm home."" Side note, how tf would I know any of these ppl are home if it takes 45 minutes to get an answer.

Well, since my fiance is never home, naturally I ended up in a bad place and relapsed. I started cutting again. I'm not now, but it was bad. I tried to get in contact with that friend group. I found out that they were at a party they invited me to. And. They forgot to pick me up. 

I kept trying to get that ""support"" they told me I had. Never got it, even when I told them
I hurt myself and my family wanted to institutionalize me (my family has no idea how to help me). You'd think that'd be a clear indication that I am, in fact, in a really, really bad place and not kidding. 

So one night last week I had the godmother of BigSads. I felt like shit, but my friends were over. But I got more wasted after they kinda ditched me again. They were hanging out with me and then left my house to go do some stuff and never came back. Turns out, they decided to have an impromptu paint party? I end up crying my damn eyes out in the bathtub. I got pretty self distructive more than I had in over a year. I tried to get their help one more time. And that kinda worked.

So here I am. In a dazed state. Sitting on the floor, finger painting in my friend's living room. I'm 23 years old and Im feeling like a child. All of my friends are sitting around me nervously painting because they have no idea what to do. My fiance eventually gets off work around midnight and picks me up.

Had to move out of my apartment by 1pm the next day. My fiance didn't pack what he was supposed to nor did he realize how much we actually had to do. I ended up doing a lot of the packing. We had several arguments. Me, being extremely unstable (considering the night before) had an angry lil panic attack, kicked the life out of a cooler, and now I'm having trouble walking because my foot looks like I straight up kicked someone to death

After that my fiance was like, ""babe I didn't know it was that bad. None of us did."" And I told him ""wtf did you guys think 'Im having a hard time. I shouldn't be alone. My meds stopped working. My family wants to institutionalize me' mean????""

My fiance apologized, honestly he'd never seen me get this bad before anyway and I try not to talk about it with him. But this group of ppl. I'm not sure if they just didn't understand, or they weren't taking me seriously, or just weren't paying attention. I'm about to move in with these ppl. Are they trash? Idk. I'm trying not to get paranoid. I have the option to move in with a distant friend, but that'd put me in a situation were I'll be even more isolated. I only have this group of ppl. Everybody else left town. I don't know what the healthy option is. I need help figuring this out.",0.9721267552182162,3.229291143225808,2.6892371916508537,92.02162049335863,84.01935483870969,5.918026565464896,20.601518026565465,7.239289175551843,0.5329028462998111,2936,89,641,44,85,967,302,775,0.171,0.738,0.091,-0.9962,0,3,1,0,0,4,117.0,5,11,16,6,32,42,4,2,30,0,74,6,4,6,9,120,140,45,1,13,22,0,5,5,6,4,2,2,4,5,30,37,0,4,20,2,2,9,25,23,1,2,47,10,110,18,84,77,15,97,0,6,3,0,72,46,2,19,44,414,140,5,0.0,0.0,0.048174553876402265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15338632544617958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033570892695991165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08789324984711057,0.09230197161357788,0.05616148681422399,0.0,0.037959768499635234,0.2885325850062699,0.1203733685237811,0.0,0.08401446053500601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05646209071876991,0.0,0.0,0.05222317988484719,0.04252484301265741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054226749624102566,0.03183728939865,0.0,0.12755780576161307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05657825194768005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04123935142208846,0.0,0.13117211999368253,0.0,0.0,0.06521217617843905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396149442677785,0.0,0.02496117071255904,0.03526741629200243,0.04739955324589069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05412778668939484,0.22884247526688944,0.0,0.23212748915387266,0.0,0.028056102758675764,0.04140625316508735,0.23689725637839396,0.0,0.054382732731140464,0.0488805670458764,0.04365460670770431,0.0,0.08844532176652965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16544652242261945,0.0,0.1485557846134734,0.0,0.0,0.11392455746197865,0.10569565509279567,0.11145747226729487,0.10664851864415548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16278312640426001,0.08048052440354568,0.0,0.0,0.10727362898988167,0.05048056062799275,0.0697379959162814,0.12058981911582488,0.0,0.043591497767166885,0.0,0.04145540184257772,0.0,0.0,0.2098480387093709,0.0,0.0,0.03295250230496353,0.0,0.0,0.05377455850320706,0.16450505910123794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574062361642676,0.03629003589649675,0.07320922450941551,0.15229786116463534,0.0,0.05250180128261928,0.0926541765205904,0.04836865946270917,0.0,0.0,0.05180180631297061,0.0525736797904703,0.06690399586602237,0.03754542525025231,0.0,0.05792091637203602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315490882574847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05022344792675039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04962693782653045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487627504788923,0.0,0.0487434338691915,0.0,0.0,0.042158695957132584,0.09391763624845073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029999900337828,0.055770059904307764,0.05067397241351045,0.04083645442421478,0.05548998106327862,0.0,0.0,0.04182805013925312,0.03800472071381373,0.04882470148747664,0.0,0.06988368362308138,0.0,0.0,0.08254515941721287,0.0,0.0,0.11302559548468548,0.0,0.11204097110008587,0.04652731408998817,0.0,0.07423488396152945,0.039678898910004125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03279688933432762,0.06326408175721975,0.0,0.0,0.11514394345578775,0.0,0.0,0.18868711194604487,0.0,0.20109955726202827,0.0536965438173222,0.0,0.05139223665111648,0.118763571029679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05823524652378271,0.0,0.039598804786494725,0.0,0.04438638553208014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14375751350756566,0.0,0.0,0.07013704830685859,0.0,0.0,0.06358077674234795
bipolarreddit,OutlandishWaste0,2019/04/09,"Annoying This disease is the most annoying thing ever.  Today, I woke up so depressed for absolutely no reason.  I had a great day, but I'm not capable of expressing that right now.  Last week I was having the time of my life .  I just needed a place to vent since I can't talk about it with anyone else, but I always seem to crash at the most inconvenient times.  anyone else relate?",3.4715999999999987,5.116423560000001,5.0183333333333335,81.34750000000003,73.4,8.200000000000001,23.166666666666664,8.841846274778883,1.6176666666666668,297,8,58,6,6,100,59,75,0.233,0.7340000000000001,0.033,-0.9264,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,2,0,5,0,5,1,0,1,1,11,9,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,7,1,9,6,2,12,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,3,8,40,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17378872909342327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920803392722882,0.4280046802596648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346977916674296,0.0,0.17989130639537387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3489524184548155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889263467348871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302695202487325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17024924411206235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14752440020276414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15486746920611705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21821484619027487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147434558178153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17836578905631162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901388223737717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17277162517179015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16787421793512874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13875768478840186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24357656069853176,0.0,0.1979754027872487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16753535423894012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,doyouhearthatbatsy,2019/04/09,"Antidepressant-induced mania even while on a mood stabilizer? howdy partners 

I have Bipolar Type II and am currently taking 1250mg of Depakote. I'm extremely happy with how well my moods are regulated on this medication; I still have a full emotional range without experiencing devastating highs and lows. However, I also have OCD and GAD, and so my psychiatrist recently prescribed me 10mg of Lexapro. I've only been taking it for around a week, but I'm concerned that it's triggering mania. My mood the last few days has been exactly what it is when I'm entering a manic episode: increased sex drive, irate, distractible, and impulsive. I knew that antidepressant-induced mania was possible, but I thought concurrently taking a mood stabilizer would circumvent that possibility. The fact that it's only been a week encourages me to attribute this to something else, but nothing has happened to trigger anything like this and my moods have been so good as of late. 

It may be worthwhile to note that, while my Depakote blood concentration is in the therapeutic range, it's at the low end. Is it possible that the Lexapro is inducing a manic episode and my blood concentration levels aren't high enough to combat it? Or is a week too short of a time period to induce such a thing and I should just call this a bad week? Has anyone here experienced anything like this?

thanks y'all",7.426780000000001,8.576784348000004,7.590150000000001,68.47482500000002,63.52,11.05,36.825,10.9516,4.389340000000002,1117,53,185,30,16,362,143,250,0.083,0.785,0.133,0.8971,3,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,0,13,16,0,1,16,0,24,5,2,6,2,29,34,20,0,2,6,0,0,2,1,3,2,2,0,1,21,10,0,0,4,0,0,3,2,4,1,0,7,4,15,7,19,23,4,31,0,2,0,1,4,12,0,2,18,124,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429816090802993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119386283276247,0.0,0.21465184049981276,0.11610293566235412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10889664519743368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13317510520871098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411118644822135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895056840530176,0.14670682240412464,0.11551488678833036,0.13476044711944166,0.0,0.08614228178406938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939150743902827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11533145043029915,0.13883629093808894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755953061164101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631106669910624,0.14712132245323245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12743487842075554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13138610961647554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251431080919963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983831113232672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.441092503906236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287756631213699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004049719762799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415491266564088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941825898398425,0.0,0.0,0.12007474933860225,0.0,0.0,0.08664636110127782,0.0,0.0,0.10354023627786237,0.07604992352775397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4184655811389282,0.0,0.11726474268911015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12572183399879575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264781108086796,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheHQOverlord,2019/04/09,Anyone have an EEG done? What were the results? I get my abnormal readings told to me next week,0.32877192982456194,2.7374583684210516,1.7852631578947395,93.54350877192984,96.89473684210527,4.63859649122807,22.12280701754386,6.42735559955562,0.6686701754385971,75,3,15,1,3,24,19,19,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,10,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29822561878632703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4364676792944353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228338041523871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4535980866623351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4266252908210166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4075484596035267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34212049199187433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DoctorFurious,2019/04/09,"Is it possible to be put back on a med and have a completely different reaction to it, even if not much time has passed? I was put on Zyprexa earlier this year and it showed promise, but it really messed with my blood sugar so I talked my doc into taking me off of it and going back on Latuda. The Latuda wasn't working as well ( I made sure to take it with enough calories, so that wasn't the issue), so my doctor put me back on the Zyprexa and we're going to work with my primary care doctor to manage my sugars more aggressively. I started the Zyprexa Friday and since then I've been just miserable. Is this a known thing that happens? Does anyone have any experience with Zyprexa?

To be clear, I'm not looking for advice on medications to try, or dosing, or anything other than personal experiences.  I'm just wondering if anyone has had med switches change up their effects like this, and/or if they're had Zyprexa cause major negative mood shifts.

Thanks.",5.703900900900901,6.530433583783786,6.177094594594598,78.23465090090093,67.21621621621622,9.409909909909912,30.5518018018018,9.516144504307137,2.7246666666666663,763,28,142,15,12,247,114,185,0.09300000000000001,0.8059999999999999,0.1,-0.163,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,3,10,10,1,1,7,0,14,7,1,3,2,27,27,16,0,3,10,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,13,10,2,0,3,1,0,6,5,3,1,0,7,3,12,6,23,18,4,21,0,1,1,0,3,8,0,6,8,97,25,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12648584409376806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802264644289666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18101287477459185,0.0,0.10651689027523364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985907445437039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197121906538872,0.13296903698260376,0.1369288133251405,0.0,0.13571384745340914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13523572564250538,0.0,0.2649716627660417,0.11327253940505926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374461384388187,0.0,0.08549293549486224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532314606010744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14712581140193487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446207423298045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510020750200674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06323713288632715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869577441928344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247787708449548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875540782003139,0.1303957123229992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515222094462836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11302074122916525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14592250635698473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3903644542824392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292164375834057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707289860639777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161726545949578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219942929480004,0.0,0.19464334785042695,0.10403779612377724,0.0,0.11916961783644466,0.0,0.0,0.08599321502841839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547665411098811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788027269633471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163807932052681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403705761183141,0.1884655987491427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335417652484331
bipolarreddit,Ifukitallthetime,2019/04/09,"Everything is just the worst, and I can't even give up. I'm about to have a breakdown and don't know what to do I'm so irresponsible and kept wasting so much money, now I'm at risk of losing my job because I know I'm going to fail a drug test. But I don't even know whether theres going to be a test or not. I can't lose this job, I am so fucking close to a promotion, I have so much growth potential. It's perfect for my life right now and I can't afford anything else. My dominant hand is fucked up from work so I can barely use it. My bipolar is I don't even know what's going on. I have to spend the next 3 days traveling for my grandfather's funeral. I've been relying on weed to help and now i can't use that.

My family is dealing with my grandpas death so I can't go to them for support. My best friend is dealing with his own mental health. My boyfriend is in a rough spot himself. I don't have anyone to turn to and I have no idea how I'm going to make it these even next few days, let alone weeks.

All I want to do is die and give the fuck up. But how can I do that to my family? My roommate can't afford rent on her own. My boyfriend will be so sad. My friends will be broken. 

I'm just in a continuous cycle of fucked up shit. It's not worth the good times anymore. Like they're great and all, and I use to be able to use that as motivation to go on but now I just don't care.

I'm freaking out and crying in bed right now, but come tomorrow morning I have to hold it together and pretend everything is okay, go to a funeral without breaking down. I'm struggling with fucking spellcheck right now how the fuck am I supposed to deal with a funeral.

I'm going to fucking breakdown and everyone is going to have to deal with that. But we'll be across the country and it's my fucking grandfather's fucking funeral what shit timing. Everything is so bad and I want to die I dont even know where I'm going with any of this but I need help.

My plan was just to get high during the trip but now I cant do that. I have to go back to work Saturday but I also think I need to go inpatient. But how will my roommate afford rent? How will anything fucking work for everyone else. I should just die and they'll deal with that but then it will be over. No future problems. What the fuck do I do",0.3440396881644219,2.25634982730924,2.553576659579494,94.14671509567684,83.85943775100402,5.913914481455232,21.612095440585875,7.128822416839037,0.5078194660996931,1786,59,420,25,51,605,187,498,0.19899999999999998,0.733,0.067,-0.9968,7,1,1,0,0,1,40.0,1,0,2,11,35,33,13,2,16,1,58,18,3,11,3,74,114,43,8,6,20,1,2,1,2,8,4,0,3,0,20,25,0,2,8,2,5,16,18,23,0,0,3,2,51,10,61,96,9,59,0,4,0,11,18,22,13,1,21,279,71,10,0.05672717037659001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05875224049068727,0.0,0.04536469765519687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03857642111364085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056258109968185935,0.03966495649971963,0.0,0.0933632555035383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04361969246034115,0.04736481776896306,0.034580356539009816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059531665521941037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05783713086665347,0.0,0.0,0.04886543431249397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062312132955974264,0.07316866394237033,0.29241610888285924,0.0,0.0,0.17662154035716646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648382119944388,0.0,0.06578550795220252,0.0,0.09477654355625044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873388051352599,0.0,0.0,0.10841048456862336,0.15294816883625312,0.0,0.10695465528434732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08765454223024625,0.5768769041608324,0.029637605194154138,0.10883574172199596,0.3868722984380453,0.04758005910951468,0.0,0.0625419056046944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060298329428237984,0.0,0.0,0.07604605309199337,0.05993537004064192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06403807050026034,0.0,0.0,0.1125859269055651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558788464765201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058007375093444224,0.04006807805872095,0.027714030045947174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12692638680636342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03786582672007087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0571676453667371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340199467734585,0.08412495609375123,0.0,0.0,0.12065997850244024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05428024087869493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14533408064884454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164592504004537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059303555266788766,0.0,0.0,0.06437332069597157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03634848023457152,0.0,0.0,0.06615613846881911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061702871752690874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959762465749733,0.0,0.0,0.0669183096768349,0.0,0.045503114345931364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05468296792923719,0.0,0.1238941669544878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mcndjxlefnd,2019/04/09,"For those that have taken Lamictal, at what dosage did you start to feel relief of depressive symptoms? I'm transitioning from lithium+wellbutrin therapy to hopefully just standalone lamotrigine. The wellbutrin seemed to lose it's effectiveness after taking it for a few years and the lithium wasn't enough to prevent depressive symptoms. I'm starting to feel better regardless of medications, and have been taking 25mg lamotrigine for a week now. It's unfortunate it takes so long to get up to a therapeutic dose on this medication, but I know it's worth it to be patient.

I'm just curious when I'll be able to expect the lamotrigine to start affecting my mood vs therapy, diet, exercise, time outside, and all the other things I'm doing to get better.",8.368897058823531,9.04779986029412,8.826764705882349,62.057941176470614,61.42647058823529,12.682352941176472,38.32352941176471,12.161744961471696,5.270414705882351,615,29,96,20,8,205,88,136,0.063,0.825,0.11199999999999999,0.8183,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,4,5,8,0,0,7,0,8,7,0,2,1,18,26,6,0,3,4,0,2,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,12,3,1,1,5,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,4,2,3,4,21,20,3,13,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,2,10,63,15,0,0.15915503067925246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815193820788353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27415998942377834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16444969151309904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16094713117007226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16630386929652885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15807685663123053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746744259768366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084719383439842,0.0,0.1780537690498829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3206638989018093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14488876248547675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3379522496436666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3308460324971953,0.3589943279485247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3640152961603715,0.0,0.1057355304053607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09280457827992497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12766456552743666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10249062165478699
bipolarreddit,chistar666,2019/04/09,Benzos Does anyone else have an extremely hard time getting their doctor to prescribe any benzodiazepines even with a history of it being effective and not causing any addictive problems in the past? Everywhere I go they treat me like an addict any time I mention that I’d like to have it for anxiety and panic to be use as needed.,9.338655913978492,8.278519854838713,9.408709677419354,64.41639784946238,60.1290322580645,12.782795698924732,40.021505376344095,11.855464076750405,5.007563440860215,269,12,43,7,3,89,50,62,0.134,0.7120000000000001,0.154,0.3415,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,2,1,1,5,0,1,4,0,4,3,0,3,0,9,8,3,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,5,3,8,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,28,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4521241196484047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4230526725840346,0.0,0.15863618479460442,0.0,0.0,0.14499673955154455,0.21247333286818304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130243702034456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122502458594196,0.18146940006239648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17322960888307548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13696480890524534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10834137991046702,0.0,0.11785218583882975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18576126889506964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026193572920867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15376096969370168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24330202448099014,0.0,0.0,0.1979565101643217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19842346100994374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418362510839281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909963410095728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mainhub_j,2019/04/09,"Is this hallucination? (Small something crawling in the floor) I see something crawling on the floor in my peripheral vision but when i start looking at it directly it just vanish. 

Bipolar 1 

Current state: 

1. Alone for almost 2 years now
2. 18 years old
3. I left my friends and no familly support
4. Hopeless 
5. Close to suicide. ( i'm not sad. I just know that i have to.)
6. I stopped drinking my meds and going to the doctor because i cant afford it. 
7. Am i depress? Manic? Idk and i dont care anymore.
8. Dropped out of highschool but i still love learning different field of subjects. 
9. Painful intrusive memories and thoughts 24/7
10. I cant focus at anything anymore
11. Its harder for me to read and comprehend
12. I can't think properly anymore
13. I only listen to soundtracks, classical music and watch films and tvseries. And also surf reddit and youtube everyday on repeat. 
14. I'm afraid and no enough energy to get out and interact with people.
15. I'm always anxious. 
16. Sleeping schedule is a mess. (Avg. 5 hrs a day)
17. My family doesn't believe or ignorant on mental illness.


I dont want to go the doctor anymore because whats the point. I just want to know if i am heading to psychosis.

Thank you.",0.4122468354430353,2.774585240506333,2.553661392405065,87.30720094936709,99.54852320675106,4.732869198312236,27.02204641350211,6.508806274219699,1.6080228691983134,950,50,173,14,40,318,155,237,0.18100000000000002,0.715,0.10300000000000001,-0.958,3,1,3,0,0,2,46.0,0,1,0,0,7,12,0,1,7,0,11,9,2,0,0,33,31,17,1,3,8,0,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,7,15,1,2,5,3,0,2,9,7,0,0,1,4,22,5,23,30,1,32,0,3,3,1,5,15,0,3,13,96,29,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12181799714915333,0.12599591286341813,0.0,0.09728593233385698,0.1012251165273796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13743336482539986,0.4825887055344353,0.0,0.0,0.10011012777405018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14831718936627214,0.0,0.0,0.13706137372111207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240334332798776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845617911266634,0.0,0.10477962838628857,0.0,0.0,0.1271015867878322,0.0,0.24903418554060666,0.0,0.0,0.28515303153417537,0.11917371464574085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12570016216587904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146837066552346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939888757661548,0.0,0.06355871861797234,0.0,0.13827650938973304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485116753054835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13371471381431915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13217643852640215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215795670993112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979666361903248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351291585597292,0.0,0.12259770187616788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12765445398195255,0.0,0.0,0.0925226570456694,0.12944746522388018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433893523804098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500149205536253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216860113201686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09694176246349634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12174094667312442,0.0,0.0,0.18730898463838846,0.0,0.0,0.08610668343546024,0.0,0.09715231503231804,0.10170743072736367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306873565572575,0.1380504851797802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11200182090900827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795038810611284,0.0,0.0965789648893431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14350828912381944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566812031564352
bipolarreddit,AntMarktica,2019/04/09,"Everyone I just made this account recently for the sole purpose of helping people who need it. I want everyone out there to know that sometimes people just need somone to have a difficult conversation with. Talking out your feelings with someone who will actually hear you and not just wait for their turn to talk can do so much for your mental health. I know that not everyone has that relationship with someone, or can afford therapy -I know I didn't and couldn't- so I want to tell you that if you feel like you need someone to listen I will do it. Send me a message here and I will respond as soon as I can. I promise. 
Everyone deserves to be heard, and no one should feel shame for who they are and what they feel",4.177350649350649,5.897872371428572,4.713636363636365,83.9368181818182,71.71428571428572,7.948051948051948,29.87012987012988,8.575989854853784,2.2659285714285717,572,24,111,10,11,182,82,140,0.057,0.873,0.07,-0.0516,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,6,3,0,8,4,0,1,3,0,15,1,0,1,0,33,33,11,0,8,7,0,4,1,0,4,1,3,0,0,11,10,0,1,7,0,1,1,5,2,0,1,3,7,20,2,18,24,1,5,0,0,0,0,24,2,0,2,3,87,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.13462008431692812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5272716169798645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790082842983981,0.09855208139654778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14663525297078794,0.15548058120734454,0.0,0.0924655155317814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274424612020009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673957942974845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13053238553394308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13902196328792638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140971320221777,0.3068663178963658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347903446839316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912754346773768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13620977568785358,0.14810753602987314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3506558037468726,0.0,0.1364368717945212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22175926031705845,0.120575082457117,0.0,0.15775876603348238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500508603517427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627339158627658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ladyroyalty,2019/04/09,"Doing very well, but I feel guilty about recent events. Any advice? Hi everyone,

So I've been kicking life in the butt recently and I'm doing really well at work. I'm so proud of myself and I know that I have the energy to keep going and even push bad thoughts away.

To put the situation into context, when I was first diagnosed with BPD I took a lot of time off work sick. I then decided to leave and help myself get better. I rejoined my job back in Feb and I think I surprised myself in thriving when I went back.

So I work in a call centre and if you know what its like working in one, you'll know that diseases and sickness are a minefield. On Sunday night I came down with really bad flu and took Monday off. My team leader was fine with it as they know that this is something that's going round and tbf I sounded awful on the phone. I've also decided to take today off too as I'm not feeling much better. 

I guess I'm feeling pretty guilty about it because I've never had an absence from work since I went back. I'm feeling a little paranoid and worried that my TL might think I'm slipping back into old bad habits of staying of work. I know this is pretty trivial but it means a lot to me that I've improved so much.

Just wondering if anyone had any advice about feeling a little less guilty about it?",3.0012380952380937,4.372060266666669,4.3272486772486785,86.93833333333336,74.1111111111111,6.624338624338624,24.33862433862434,7.07126945348624,0.9371957671957674,1032,31,210,10,21,341,143,270,0.16899999999999998,0.682,0.14800000000000002,-0.5251,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,1,11,21,11,0,0,11,1,13,6,1,0,1,45,45,24,0,2,6,0,6,1,0,2,5,1,0,0,14,16,0,1,17,1,0,9,2,3,2,2,11,7,26,8,34,32,5,45,0,0,1,1,8,17,1,7,19,137,40,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17752434150152516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07264011111906331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354079983379493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351341454035625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534176115509005,0.27938370328237544,0.22752839567161864,0.05537171129460269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067101231265224,0.0,0.0,0.11440254895501255,0.0,0.09275191773692074,0.10389017520106164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09219484435738697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059995160665989325,0.0,0.0,0.08679601157480836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22964261201979305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726356049044995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04745714279790105,0.0,0.1032463868748966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000641591451465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060884278219539414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013896998744912,0.08073764854799323,0.0,0.0,0.2496006215059319,0.0,0.0,0.09618034765541968,0.0,0.0,0.0641589119503228,0.04437702279856461,0.18207954851813565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15444804986555885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989451193382878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09636077715386078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354723990362366,0.0,0.07005696777130269,0.0,0.0,0.08524178355154555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953152578141588,0.0,0.06155163370404144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18482216077687488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131350256175502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638148371378695,0.0,0.17937571280506032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513902426768425,0.1021014946697886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992863783758135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681721690345564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829604609584491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11640583007151944,0.0,0.07211224246945408,0.05296617742400672,0.0,0.08610024116890995,0.0,0.20184037186707485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07494776320991169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633417859936496,0.16840850613895722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850586154573952,0.39677046336698296,0.0922465827236268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,luckystar22,2019/04/09,"Falling asleep itchy I have had this problem on and off for a while. Itchy feeling when falling asleep. Just small pinches from some random place to another. I've tried cool showers, lotions, washing bedding, new detergents, etc. At this point I think it is purely psychological, but haven't had much success trying to convince anyone it is real beyond my mind because of lack of rash or hives.

Anyone else have similar issues from stress or anxiety? Maybe I just need to get that managed in general to relieve this.",6.1799539170506925,8.147017010752691,5.959170506912442,76.00161290322583,67.06451612903226,7.894930875576037,34.79109062980031,8.418075326091056,3.0985219662058365,414,20,65,6,7,129,72,93,0.22699999999999998,0.691,0.08199999999999999,-0.924,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,1,1,7,4,3,0,1,17,11,6,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,6,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,2,2,4,4,14,9,4,13,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,4,3,44,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319553011250714,0.16922309550557474,0.0,0.0,0.3093467878958033,0.22665317592511364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348460097228386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18479044164084749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24670478281635305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184913440165786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155717638036533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308831086564712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22223261809508985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22335646762388048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16261292986494386,0.16402252293949554,0.0,0.2136435358211886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311147060028868,0.0,0.20911254295066653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21166565709146112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25178250914351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25339238917901474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174080344117204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003706792886573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Yunnaii,2018/12/05,"I want to give up on everything I want to drop out school, leave my house and start living away from everything, I have no motivation on keep going. I have no goals, no projects, nothing. I just wish my boyfriend was here, but oh well guess that he is too good to be real.",5.720303030303029,5.035684545454547,5.720000000000002,86.70666666666668,67.18181818181819,9.515151515151514,29.24242424242424,8.841846274778883,1.8068787878787869,210,6,48,3,3,66,42,55,0.155,0.6659999999999999,0.179,0.5301,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,11,13,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,0,7,2,9,11,0,8,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,1,31,8,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21808291364583676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4172261705047205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226691568696928,0.13191825765210252,0.1946899332535092,0.0,0.0,0.2557046290413085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678335129693617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20631753315076454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24577991089316084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20496483361759668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22272390180880636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26420159996809217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23491625176215455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16429462532918804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738189377704103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20870235232710116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669247486400418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pbumpyjohnson,2018/12/05,"switching from zyprexa to abilify Hello all, I'm currently on depakote, zoloft, and zyprexa.. Yesterday i had my pdoc switch me to abilify because of the weight gain with zyprexa. Just courious if anyone else has had this switch and if not just general info on abilify would be greatly appreciated.",9.065705128205122,9.743085442307693,8.643076923076926,63.96858974358975,59.96153846153846,13.087179487179489,46.17948717948718,12.45797560212912,6.414671794871795,241,15,37,8,3,77,40,52,0.0,0.873,0.127,0.7902,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,1,12,6,4,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,3,1,7,2,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,2,25,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900564455861452,0.4250389346974149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528744814047055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465344446937789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4573478566656211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5051471164288472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946809570150016,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,peggycat7,2018/12/05,"Does anyone have extremely strange and vivid dreams sometimes that lessen your sleep quality? Does it happen when you’re manic, depressed, etc? 

Mine are usually a few days in a row. I usually get extreme exhaustion because of it. ",4.353750000000002,7.6950968750000035,4.3450000000000015,78.16000000000003,80.25,8.200000000000001,33.0,8.841846274778883,3.834850000000001,185,10,28,5,5,57,36,40,0.192,0.745,0.063,-0.6759999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,4,2,5,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,4,16,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18547718630886825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16170110340240387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17107188702080034,0.0,0.22846956035979998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4642646976591703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958369749171613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13858831839091176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23457009336211054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654533232514722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623506578120962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5842966931130232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,brittninja,2018/12/05,"It's been a dream of mine to travel abroad to teach English. I'm worried about managing myself in a foreign country. Advice? I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 about six months ago, and since then I've found a combination of medications that seem to be working for me. I just went through a pretty touch depressive phase that lasted a good two months, but I think it was a result of my environment and I've chosen to move out in the hopes that being in a more positive environment will positively impact my mood. 

My problem is that I hope to move to Japan to teach after college. It's a dream of mine, but I know that the mental health care over there isn't necessarily the best. I don't need therapy, I manage fine on my own. But I worry about access to medication, particularly Lamictal (for bipolar) and adderall (which is practically illegal in Japan). I hear it can be really tough to get what you need. I can speak a little Japanese but not near enough to be fluent. 

I pride myself on taking on challenges head on. But I am a little worried about this experience. Has anyone ever done something like this before? How did you manage? 

Thank you.",4.480042780748661,6.180654854545455,5.869786096256688,76.02879679144387,70.9090909090909,8.631016042780749,27.486631016042786,9.168548406835145,2.393946524064171,908,32,165,19,17,306,132,220,0.107,0.7090000000000001,0.184,0.9544,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,3,0,4,8,14,0,0,13,0,18,7,1,2,1,24,33,10,0,5,7,0,1,1,0,1,6,2,0,0,13,5,0,0,4,3,0,4,3,3,0,2,7,3,24,10,34,21,4,24,0,1,0,0,5,13,0,3,8,122,37,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708706743033307,0.11528484602823542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909366403294233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106662042375375,0.0,0.13648343861964268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325985159556101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201514671493172,0.1320018686167118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309019033624309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343803401859001,0.0,0.0,0.11764110713228253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12721757102333356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425972781006801,0.0,0.0,0.0679477423298143,0.0,0.0,0.10908295644103934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13347271854129794,0.13824110700132788,0.14658008376468018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25834553502863183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147416686112285,0.10601120442921698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06353771703707636,0.2606961463930861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26203104075953737,0.13106364065297135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20761540353404784,0.27645321323160804,0.0,0.19286648846016144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13231146901096244,0.0,0.12444392172257218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331579401041847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11839609434817075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758184666945612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012176850800704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778427163278013,0.0,0.0,0.11973606506037028,0.14872785373089464,0.0,0.0,0.083333223210159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270436643004573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056117484789795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468071477933272,0.396227838266832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rock_out_w_sox_out,2018/12/05,"Manic or horny? Okay so I normally have a high sex drive but now it’s suuuuper high and I want lots of food and cake. It’s only been a few days but I try to notice problems early on so I can see my pdoc for a tune up. 

Prior to this new insatiability, I went on 3 day mini solo vacation where I had a lot of personal growth so maybe this is just a reaction to being back in my home environment. 

So is this a problem? If not yet, how long should I wait until I call it a problem?",-0.92896703296703,1.0874881619047656,2.9561904761904785,88.25406593406595,91.1904761904762,5.897435897435898,17.600732600732602,7.321109707123232,0.32241391941392017,367,10,86,7,13,137,74,105,0.134,0.804,0.063,-0.8794,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,0,7,1,8,2,0,1,0,18,12,12,0,7,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,6,2,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,3,1,10,1,11,7,3,20,0,0,1,1,2,7,0,4,10,62,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404161805134981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864657082128696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23553729392761055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22081330667794344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858759777557708,0.18317319180358255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16160452063286584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104977848756029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18345676287827728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17636633104351002,0.0,0.0,0.17891948994306836,0.0,0.20790323184320714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388834921226176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15944841987439085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5242006766876258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455169029225565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398052310725086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770838721276862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169281736337469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,arthurcotten,2018/12/05,"WE ARE HERE TO HELP PATIENTS IN NEED OF MEDICINE FOR THEIR TREATMENT. ONLINE MEDS PHARMACY

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\+1(804)-537-0206",12.271127819548873,17.432137842105266,6.090300751879699,61.06710526315794,78.47368421052633,7.434586466165412,34.375939849624054,7.957251820313856,4.095815037593985,250,11,26,5,7,63,34,38,0.106,0.654,0.24,0.8109,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,2,3,1,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,3,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,6,2,5,2,1,3,0,1,0,0,9,2,0,1,0,18,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4330495495193824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765898513462338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45835988951047796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30597392178041805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43113026009797983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4963658041197333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,girlski,2019/02/11,"I feel like shit. I'm swinging into a big, dark depression.

I'm getting married in August and I'm kind of dreading it. Putting the guest list together has been stressful because I hate hurting feelings but I would rather elope so bad. 

I'm a full time teacher now. Prior to that I didn't work when I was in graduate school. I'm having to accept that I can't do the things I used to do all the time. I know this sounds dumb, but I bought a seasons pass for the local ski area and I've only used it once this year. That's the most depressing thing to me.

My friendships have dwindled as I got older. It's pretty sad.

I'm just sad. I hate life changes.",0.31606751824817536,2.546406423357664,2.047185218978104,95.63603330291971,86.95620437956205,4.592883211678832,21.701186131386862,5.985473137389443,0.15241642335766414,508,18,112,4,16,166,91,137,0.275,0.64,0.086,-0.9824,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,5,15,4,2,8,0,10,2,1,2,1,16,26,7,0,2,4,0,2,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,10,3,0,0,4,1,1,2,2,12,0,0,5,3,13,3,10,20,3,18,0,5,0,0,1,7,2,1,10,63,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537889208171765,0.1122790282768133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19484601828144246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3172809546536185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18626153120931185,0.13158363115235364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623039912551308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14731161924937095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3636941701704475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19717659466438828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19180300236060888,0.1012246671982717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13009712217043298,0.08998473915915435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19615374238344604,0.0,0.14008294077124633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18738496725918613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851593728363876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18640764612957425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890658856287119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21098623005780529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447320639188053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148024972919498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181578319753963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409073885750328,0.0,0.0,0.13084155950229506,0.0,0.0,0.11861075115307572
bipolarreddit,talyen42,2019/02/11,"Advice on long-term treatment for a bipolar depressed family member? My brother has had bipolar depression since he was a teenager, he's mid-20s now and still living with our retired father. Recently, he ""attempted suicide"" by jumping off a 15-foot balcony and breaking his feet, leading to hospitalization (and inpatient psych). Given the background context below, what would you do?

* He has talked about and threatened suicide hundreds of times

* This is the third time he's been hospitalized in the last 90 days (previously for psychosis and suicidal threats)

* Each time, he's released after 3-5 days after he begins to act normal and wants to go home

* Our father is a psychiatrist who desperately wants to help him, and has not been willing to ""kick him out"" of the house

* He has not been willing to consider longer-term inpatient psychiatric options (I don't know what options are available?) and because he always has had my father's home to return to, the hospital is always able to discharge him

* He has seen at least 20 psychiatrists in the last decade, and taken hundreds of different medications, with zero success

* He has received a year of ECT treatment, with significant memory loss and only temporary depression relief

* He dropped out of high school due to a combination of social phobia, depression, sensory issues, and rage issues

* He has never applied for a job

* He sometimes wishes to move into his own apartment, but that gets derailed by his constant suicidal threats, changing his mind about everything, easily becoming frustrated and overwhelmed, and at least for now, he can't even walk...

How do you end a revolving door of 5-day long emergency room and inpatient psychiatric visits? Is my father's home being open to him actually hurting his chances of recovery? Would being barred from returning home force him to choose between homelessness and long-term inpatient care? My father is in his 60s, and beginning to decline mentally, so I see this situation deteriorating long-term if someone doesn't do something. What would you do?",7.198691148775892,9.498111957627124,7.190000000000001,66.86620527306971,65.01694915254237,10.103201506591338,37.96986817325801,10.338469443840273,4.711782297551789,1659,88,236,43,27,530,199,354,0.139,0.8079999999999999,0.053,-0.9869,2,0,1,0,0,2,61.0,2,3,0,4,8,14,4,1,14,0,34,5,1,2,1,43,47,20,4,8,4,6,0,0,0,5,3,0,6,0,7,24,1,0,2,1,0,8,6,11,0,2,9,2,22,3,48,31,4,48,0,7,2,0,43,15,0,3,23,158,29,5,0.09207831266080783,0.0,0.08985515070066306,0.0,0.0,0.08997786145779818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15323306474725445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05613008475802915,0.10169326210824252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387997645554183,0.0,0.09740664564657976,0.0,0.0,0.09950394456647473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781486826524171,0.0,0.3172276630843222,0.0,0.0,0.0962022388607017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155405472632912,0.0,0.0,0.06081685710121451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275405017565947,0.0,0.0868032384166405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04810711797306736,0.0,0.052330227030685066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061718152049010024,0.09728579277631133,0.3694482208220304,0.0,0.0,0.10624601013966807,0.09857173811235438,0.0,0.0,0.19221167144243734,0.09137351739912968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05060383258247007,0.15011222869447882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813068370323831,0.32594563667717696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927592128759632,0.09279328211182718,0.0,0.09297284721105864,0.0,0.0,0.09786467428463017,0.0,0.0,0.07101647117193277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021719633068996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07002970598622281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091622534213906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931881682392368,0.07337449377133573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616813174404867,0.10349988136081532,0.0,0.09386224406235376,0.07801765551208394,0.07088638362563232,0.09106780565789724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353385943332648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4028749165441333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400905985226451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16107481376007773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10862034894832633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058855153566327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19622937437515667,0.0,0.0,0.059295414447494914
bipolarreddit,ChloeMcQueen34,2018/11/16,"Bipolar Blogger Hey fellow redditors. I have started to blog about my bipolar adventured [here](https://starlitskye.art/blog/). It has been quite cathartic and helpful in documenting my manic adventures. I seem to forget certain episodes, so this is my way of keeping a record of it, as well sharing my experience with others who might be curious. 

I guess you could consider this shameless self promotion, but I do not mind.",8.783571428571431,11.065084500000005,7.9071428571428575,63.30785714285716,61.14285714285714,10.742857142857144,42.57142857142857,10.793553405168565,5.463800000000001,345,20,47,9,5,107,59,70,0.047,0.782,0.171,0.6914,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,2,3,5,0,0,1,0,8,2,0,0,1,12,12,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,6,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,9,5,8,8,0,3,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,3,1,37,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387873418865006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925530937074544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32946523110932463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20046391201297492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265831924890344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31727169833926244,0.3019808604786698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181034631503659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722669785770713,0.3120008301946427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116870817201998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373921028488909,0.0,0.0,0.26890466942387664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FuneralRiot,2018/11/16,"I've Ruined My Life: A Spook Story well Reddit, things aren't looking so good.

here I sit, waiting to see my academic advisor in three and a half hours. I've barely gone to class all semester, and my grades are so far down the shitter that it scares me to even think about it.

I came to school here in 2015 to get away from my hometown and family setting. I hated where I grew up, and I hated getting so much shit from my parents for not focusing in school. I'm not stupid; I've completed all levels of Calc up to now. I've just never EVER had it easy when it came to paying attention. I thought it was all normal.

I came here and almost immediately got hooked on pot and nicotine. My grades were shit, and my dad was furious with me. I could never understand why I had such a difficult time paying attention. My parents would sum it up to laziness. My grades never really picked up, and I've switched from Mechanical Engineering to Computer Science since getting here. Never had a genuine interest in either; I just wanted to do it to prove to myself and my parents that I'm more than a fuckup. BOY, did I show 'em.

Fast forward to now, multiple suicide scares later. I just gave up. That voice in my head won, and I barely left my room all semester. I convinced myself that I was, in fact, just a fuckup. Still think that. 

I met with a therapist for the first time since my freshman year in highschool (first suicide 'attempt': showed someone my note and she told my parents) at the beginning of the year. I cut it off because I was convinced I had rid myself of my demons, and had high hopes leading up to this semester. 

Then everything just fell apart. 

I got a roommate, my first in half a year. He stays up late watching sports for hours on end, and my bedroom door might as well be made of cardboard. I would wake up for my early CS class, groggy and pissed off for not getting any decent sleep, and decide to skip class. I figured I wouldn't have learned anything anyways. It became a habit, and has culminated to now. 

I started seeing my therapist again a few weeks ago. I decided to show her a collection of drawings and words I had kept hidden up until then, after writing a poem with serious suicidal implication. Instead of being there for an hour, I was there for three. She asked me multiple times to consider hospitalization. 

She also told me it's highly likely that I have a sort of bipolar disorder. My last visit reinforced that idea.

21 years, and this just now becomes a possibility. Up until now, it's been because I'm lazy. For well over a decade of floundering grades and trouble paying attention, it's been all my fault. Now the damage has been done, and there's no telling what will happen to me next. NOW, after everything, 'bipolar' comes up.

I looked up symptoms, and it makes sense to me. Manic/ depressive states. Trouble eating (I weigh 120 lbs). Trouble sleeping.

Trouble focusing in school.

I can't express how annoyed I am. I've thrown away numerous relationships with beautiful women who had/have promising futures. I've pushed friends away out of fear for being exposed as the freak that I am. And I have received SO MUCH shit for sucking at school. My parents never, EVER considered a sort of mental disorder. Ever. I told them I have trouble focusing. That I hate school. That I can't concentrate. What would I get?

 ""wipe your face and stop crying.""

I'm done. So done. I have no clue where my life will be in a month's time, if anywhere at all. 

Take this rant as a warning to those who feel their suffering grades (the only thing that matters in a young person's life anymore) might be due to more than lack of ambition. Get the help you need, lest you end up like me: at the end of your rope, with no idea what's below. Get help, and get medication. ",3.286210515269179,5.3916986180081885,4.342788540245568,84.01238828838285,75.09822646657572,7.293852450414525,26.965872599433307,8.189365985712001,1.8756038576975549,2969,115,564,51,65,965,330,733,0.156,0.78,0.064,-0.9968,6,0,0,0,0,3,107.0,0,4,2,6,44,41,12,3,30,0,47,18,9,5,16,101,97,40,3,11,11,6,1,2,1,8,7,1,3,3,35,34,2,3,15,4,3,12,15,28,3,7,34,7,84,13,101,49,13,120,1,4,5,0,37,49,5,7,59,397,119,21,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05016275307091572,0.0,0.05666573064906486,0.0,0.0,0.045254219955887735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038482475061479136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05612110328946837,0.0,0.0,0.046567942902082285,0.0,0.05290309603785166,0.0,0.15950174516136184,0.0,0.0,0.06899228439099271,0.06249812814522801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941682949286153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04874643118809053,0.0593325122701382,0.0,0.0,0.04518172888469832,0.0,0.06216038277480156,0.0,0.0,0.048740041197498925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297118422983538,0.0,0.0,0.17373064849381026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05790469634070412,0.0,0.0,0.15036322930492166,0.0,0.0,0.03737651492048703,0.15356402887385168,0.0,0.0,0.10171712707789697,0.0,0.05334709306708593,0.06367838174164966,0.02861310952169235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14440377804263527,0.0,0.0,0.04372053754628953,0.0,0.2365234243801229,0.0,0.0,0.047464186289125465,0.0905188198128454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050041484721927564,0.0,0.0,0.1676098288668172,0.0580766618732452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586085637689566,0.11957881609053406,0.0,0.05620566677705795,0.16718636121938418,0.0,0.0,0.12776423420679142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04612760526418837,0.06383488096564392,0.0,0.061484137311166115,0.0,0.11991149801951664,0.05529307485287294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504105130699106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053545900299017415,0.037773611194900435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0570074855775774,0.05702842367538932,0.1200640179994628,0.0,0.0,0.04516881697810588,0.0,0.08319888386726662,0.041960042319491735,0.2182247094699896,0.0,0.060183066230538276,0.0,0.05544522596961365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043038500761643374,0.0,0.0,0.31417705693985304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04941135073236855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06379561895397158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03625237614342045,0.0,0.0,0.06075543111656755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133109648803481,0.2863555539223297,0.09018824687580723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742634517343528,0.09362204652762976,0.0,0.11325977859732668,0.0,0.04794769418051018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04005400059782545,0.06031636738666889,0.04519206557643435,0.047310955765826834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856976138734205,0.0,0.0,0.05881766076747515,0.04254790149030637,0.0,0.04946129895186603,0.0,0.0,0.13140843085097725,0.0751904626029243,0.07251991987690894,0.0,0.04492536192402049,0.13199005378390913,0.0,0.0,0.16221970500549004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058911166979971015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033377670983383914,0.0,0.04539229955724813,0.0,0.1526409788779412,0.0,0.051062789940012496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059765151896365,0.0,0.0,0.14576589770989642
bipolarreddit,Helloground42,2018/11/16,"I think I might be bipolar I was reading something the other day that mentioned someone was bipolar. Aside from knowing my mother and brother had it, I didn't know anything about it. So I looked up symptoms and... I think I might be too. 

Lately I've been obsessing about my husband having an affair. It probably lasted about two or three weeks, maybe more. And it was like I could picture it, and it made me sick. I asked him outright a couple times. I knew in my heart that he wasn't, but I couldn't shake it. It made me crazy. I even snooped through his phone just to be sure. I was SO sure he was cheating on me and I was losing my mind over it. Then I woke up two days ago and the feeling was completely gone. If you asked me now I without a doubt know he isn't. So what the hell happened?

And this isn't the first time this has happened with something like this. Sometimes I obsess over something and it ruins me for a while. The past few days I feel amazing. Before that I was depressed and easily frustrated for a few weeks. I thought about suicide quite a bit and even talked to my husband about the suicidal ideations I was having. But now.. it's like clouds and rainbows came out. I play wrestled my husband last night, we've been intimate for a few days, I'm being a better parent... Life feels like it's glowing and I'm hyper and happy and.. just better I guess. I'm keeping track of the amount of time this lasts so I can get a better idea of what's going on. 

I guess I'm asking.. does this sound like bipolar disorder or something else?",1.9533333333333367,4.030410363057328,2.8849936305732484,93.02088747346072,79.12738853503187,5.205774946921443,24.160934182590232,6.079149491110277,0.5094215711252654,1210,43,253,8,30,383,157,314,0.16,0.6859999999999999,0.154,-0.748,1,0,4,0,0,1,41.0,0,1,0,6,16,23,3,4,16,0,28,7,1,2,2,49,58,25,2,3,8,6,3,5,0,2,6,1,0,0,23,17,0,1,11,2,0,4,6,10,0,4,21,6,39,13,25,29,6,33,1,3,2,0,19,8,1,8,26,171,62,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08095145984258185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515024054720892,0.0,0.256121280767947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777083120367082,0.0,0.0,0.24230071396388184,0.09969999261945547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444806134274807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574939951173436,0.0,0.0,0.0729132012801886,0.10104607711885248,0.0,0.2355805896497957,0.0,0.07865552120210004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466294561303288,0.0,0.07991651428883899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762878287402405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063466462313265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13852547027126666,0.06524046866445109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776784627617336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04771198578223277,0.0,0.0519004079493366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20120299946314785,0.0,0.16151151972075534,0.09721398741688188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821703228611217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10309144376593217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811712065350705,0.0,0.0,0.15056458019703028,0.2233189023676276,0.10301521520840212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645034427760096,0.22307662830015326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668749597333653,0.10216598006187566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728222050198439,0.0,0.0,0.09174524266078664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19375646145023498,0.09220920627070546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569952856587447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140229493533573,0.0,0.08717720049593025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846058224090673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09713220832129424,0.09134673209668494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737685039955305,0.281216607454518,0.09031981194968447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19978293337935216,0.0,0.1721398444272935,0.09491854438135904,0.0,0.07340117970493569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11703092478603627,0.0,0.07249948236621798,0.15975181112074016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17841668602921296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14650603046352853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803116754131919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nananabooboobear,2018/11/16,Rage. I've typed this and retyped this. But basically I feel a lot of rage and I don't know how to handle it. I just don't understand because I'm not an angry person and I've never want to take it out on anyone except for now. I was in this support group and I was talking about this and the group leader was talking about how if I were to act on my rage and a healthy way like smashing something at like a rage room or something it would reinforce the idea that it's okay to be violent. But I just really need to get this out somehow. Suggestions?,2.5551340996168577,3.8010073103448256,4.1866666666666665,88.00277777777781,75.0344827586207,7.224521072796936,25.819923371647512,7.793537801064563,1.308211877394636,432,15,94,6,9,145,70,116,0.159,0.716,0.125,-0.7265,0,0,2,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,8,9,5,0,6,1,8,0,0,2,1,28,17,12,0,4,8,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,10,8,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,4,1,8,4,16,11,1,11,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,4,4,67,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730057357960525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15082835215421245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251058200858267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292696663838214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27931339105175457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13597864165009674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417593050937489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103524011630515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18346295082805544,0.1908298797132593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21604249444594315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585071781186201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3809606373664376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2807756441815469,0.0,0.0,0.186033262300284,0.3977426576183023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25757878051159944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593803227731708,0.196394928362732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17576405065035536,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,unicatprincess,2018/11/16,"Crisis Line Experiences Hi, I’ve always had terrible experiences with hotlines, ours is awful, and I’ve been talking to my therapist about the possibility of starting our own local one. I wonder if it’s okay to post a Google Forms survey about people’s past experiences with hotlines here, with totally anonymous answers so we can see what’s most important for callers. I know what matters to *me* but I can’t base a whole idea of my sole feelings. Thanks.

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdC0zX8IYfemCkBzh1vBW4qFtJXGVvINSp15JPz5P7YPoXrWg/viewform",8.44639534883721,12.687772941860466,6.973302325581392,60.38506976744186,69.5813953488372,7.626046511627909,29.53023255813953,8.548686976883017,2.9831525581395364,467,18,61,9,10,140,67,86,0.08,0.8240000000000001,0.096,0.0763,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,2,5,0,0,0,1,15,11,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,2,9,2,11,9,5,4,0,0,1,0,6,1,0,3,2,42,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17913598959579993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.631775845517511,0.0,0.0,0.10885555112679922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24303276297757556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11831607808605657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14588400973750473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055157550541306,0.1492528647397118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.242703689909866,0.20618538834681252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17155582673359787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15238121206658534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17303949637185256,0.0,0.1982072998615904,0.0,0.2499647434709319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403601925662804,0.0,0.0,0.2334695149447577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,elzzzbeth,2018/11/16,"Weight Gain on Abilify? I was just put on abilify — 5mg. It’s the first med I’m taking for bipolar! I heard that many people gain a lot of weight on it. Is it avoidable? Like can you watch what you eat to prevent it, or is it just the medication itself that causes the weight gain?

I’d also love to hear how much, if any, weight people gained while taking it. 

Thanks in advance.  ",1.0773076923076914,3.1763530769230783,2.735576923076924,92.81567307692309,82.33333333333333,5.438461538461539,18.724358974358974,6.6274283507984215,-0.019671794871794827,292,7,64,3,8,96,53,78,0.0,0.721,0.27899999999999997,0.973,0,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,0,6,4,4,0,1,4,0,4,8,0,2,0,9,11,5,0,1,4,0,4,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,10,0,5,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,2,7,4,3,8,9,2,8,0,0,1,1,5,4,0,3,3,40,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125569306685176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677938361792096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16130339614910272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067126072232454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13356163107889066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17697361344532975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671232738664706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13349328794877122,0.14171721025064665,0.0,0.0,0.15919422985125387,0.0,0.0,0.17441447438738542,0.15818172198790115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542819845725705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177166085650217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578490593011427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23611987992522365,0.0,0.0,0.1445634601183437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7648350934410055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kitkat9725,2018/11/16,anyone else relate? Is depression hitting anyone else really hard lately? I kind of just need a place to vent a lil because I don’t want the people around me to think I’m unstable. I have no motivation to do absolutely anything and I just want to stay in bed. It’s starting to impact my grades in nursing school but I just can’t get past it. The only motivating thing I have is the pressure I feel from everyone around me to succeed. Maybe it’s the changing seasons 🤷🏽‍♀️,2.2647651775486857,4.306601226804126,4.4277663230240565,82.5141122565865,77.96907216494846,7.197709049255441,26.241695303550976,8.167268648758528,1.8344671248568158,377,15,74,7,9,130,66,97,0.106,0.754,0.14,0.6265,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,3,5,4,0,1,6,0,7,0,0,2,0,14,16,2,0,3,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,10,2,12,15,0,10,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,4,45,14,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25719903150682394,0.37689078805318255,0.15134857701157406,0.3274514499097241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211450857202958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945605151924157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158408025328452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30727923793896306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757412215769889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299430337926344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09608939508318813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16475411308923346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19152195812813474,0.0,0.0,0.2074671500557396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847700263257151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363726267607267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398776806757982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17557023300042862,0.12750535953523714,0.0,0.19215482712866808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11782237308897055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18613450758018227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13017787809198136,0.19603177219304346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218673201565995,0.11784702087272945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21695882156176474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thehomemaker,2018/11/16,"Lamictal and emotional changes I was titrated up to 300mg about 3 weeks ago. I had  finally gotten to 200mg and still felt like I needed a higher dose for stability and psych agreed. 

Just this week though, I’ve been really struggling with different emotional changes. Mainly a disconnect, like there’s a foggy film between my brain/emotions and the world. 

It’s not the typical Lamictal brain fog and not an overall numbness either. It feels more like I’m not completely present, like I can’t understand the full spectrum of normal emotions and thoughts I’ve always had. Almost like some form of dissociation or depersonalization (though not as severe as what I was reading about them.)

It really scares me though. I finally got to a place where I’ve reached mental stability but now I can’t shake this disconnected feeling and it’s not something I’m okay living with. 


Do you think lowering my dose down to 250mg or back to 200mg could make it go away? I didn’t feel this way at 200mg but I’m also afraid it won’t be strong enough of a dose in other ways. 

Should I just tough it out at 300mg and see if these feelings go away? I don’t even necessarily know if it is the 300mg that’s causing this but I’ve noticed effects of Lamictal don’t hit me right away and could be why I’m barely feeling this way 3 weeks later. 

Has anyone else experienced this?

I plan on talking to my psych at my next appt. but it’s not for 2 more months and I’d really love to control this feeling if I can. ",3.2059,4.998199790000005,4.548000000000002,83.82900000000002,74.43333333333334,7.866666666666667,26.666666666666664,8.608573733854374,1.8902666666666663,1187,44,241,23,25,393,159,300,0.044000000000000004,0.8340000000000001,0.122,0.9467,2,0,1,0,1,0,22.0,0,1,1,4,14,14,0,4,10,1,20,6,1,4,0,53,44,25,0,8,18,0,7,5,0,2,4,0,0,0,20,13,0,1,12,2,0,3,12,6,0,0,10,9,20,8,31,27,8,35,0,0,1,1,4,16,0,7,18,146,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08129085028097129,0.0,0.0918291988428714,0.0,0.0,0.07333636600478273,0.07630581335288501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06412219011216068,0.0939624951986922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584792837653001,0.07051539846251306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047459678381853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420618151108713,0.1940232242772968,0.0,0.09615083057596722,0.0,0.1028548300019561,0.14643778235253865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581208983508102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07660766682210185,0.4126226245816463,0.0,0.09475566382837973,0.0,0.06057021380246854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782124815493265,0.0655139904922701,0.08805107397088592,0.2009164451657996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423600266962876,0.0,0.07334477653781919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05039860829446457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22401188104075184,0.0,0.08097709643985472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276724204725669,0.0,0.06121372500977482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241695814027703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07319796688879719,0.0,0.0,0.06799801265203474,0.0,0.0,0.09752918902756623,0.0,0.08985131969767716,0.0,0.10440662309326022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581208983508102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917297048993005,0.0,0.17624549896043712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831547350205023,0.0,0.0,0.09181259118951128,0.0,0.07307692286665285,0.0,0.0,0.1036004209685387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705989032735237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07323564221980007,0.0,0.0,0.09586986046917602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370891545926059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05876078951216762,0.2702987612956684,0.07280343773837711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546802281916104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21837321535486268,0.2206803894116829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08274939786646099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lhr00001,2019/01/16,"What is going on?? Mostly rant and confusion. So. I live in the UK with free healthcare and all that jazz, problem is I'm supposed to get repeat prescriptions weekly to my local pharmacy and they just don't arrive. Most weeks I have to phone the surgery to chase them up and now I'm essentially going cold turkey from lamotrigene, sertraline and also meds for thyroid. It usually takes 24-48 hours for a prescription to be ready to pick up if they actually remember to do it. My bf is putting in an official complaint tomorrow but not sure if it'll do anything. Am I being unreasonable wanting to complain? My head is kind of fuzzy at the moment and I feel like hell. Probably withdrawal? I don't know.",2.572888888888887,5.25865902962963,4.265185185185185,80.51333333333336,80.92592592592592,8.044444444444443,27.51851851851852,8.841846274778883,2.735207407407408,559,25,101,15,15,187,97,135,0.141,0.799,0.059000000000000004,-0.91,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,3,0,4,8,1,1,5,0,13,2,1,1,2,23,22,11,0,4,5,0,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,3,1,1,3,3,4,0,0,0,2,11,5,19,19,3,18,1,0,0,0,6,7,1,5,9,69,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.21700811329848996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17783500287858692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18299752527198807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11244061701020353,0.15886634861373902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161829324881004,0.0,0.2527642265993508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22822320971336424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21899679232633615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23157168084912866,0.12221271845592095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864228943965333,0.0,0.19636318191089566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470109883820009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23976028227888596,0.21278499123441835,0.0,0.2235505527284628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519100692910689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20958792215116667,0.0,0.16720001342155574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449171186906559,0.0,0.13116386098791538,0.0,0.3567552254926741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cirquerouge,2019/01/16,"New kind of manic episode? I don't even know where to begin but u feel like I need to talk this through somewhere so here I am. I feel like I'm experiencing an completely different type of mania that is like no other... it's not super intense or anything but my risk taking behaviors are like whoa right now and I don't want to stop. 

It all started this weekend when I was partying (which I almost never do either)... drank way more than usual all weekend. Ended up experimenting with recreational drugs that I always swore I would never try. And I liked it! I also went crazy sexually and did some things I'm not very proud of, but still want to do it again (and the opportunity is 100% being presented to me on a gold platter). 

Im not having any of the normal mind racing, heart beating out of my chest, anxiety attack ridden mania than I usually have...wtf is this crap? 

Any words of advice?",2.802954545454547,4.895214295454547,4.589772727272732,81.74840909090913,76.5,7.127272727272729,23.5,8.07648339933343,1.4151090909090909,700,22,134,12,16,237,120,176,0.196,0.6890000000000001,0.115,-0.9328,1,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,4,9,12,2,1,4,0,14,5,3,0,4,31,27,11,0,5,8,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,12,6,1,1,3,2,0,2,8,3,0,0,4,3,15,9,18,21,5,24,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,3,21,91,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14433238896386355,0.0,0.0,0.14790191417247958,0.0,0.0,0.11811699380194395,0.12289964411745215,0.0,0.0,0.20088443786020085,0.0,0.1129913939986548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215459117071557,0.0,0.0,0.16803200335235194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15486241925939748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15431683675822594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712870764423112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13081986343787008,0.0,0.0,0.09755557792190052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444806014903384,0.0,0.0,0.14936483197909453,0.21103624383055525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17502722221089045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15954317859867825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538085885726144,0.08117298998910917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36079794249317865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14913660904286122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095189368728892,0.2278333086375007,0.14265121943973896,0.0,0.0,0.1447163031112679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261364422888734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454402141873358,0.0,0.11795476609235545,0.12348523241376005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11105329451076723,0.11871702928233048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981264444939286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027975693196732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32534510441822023,0.12186936867462292,0.17423657552867633,0.1172387322041506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13692095296499018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492304784599543,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,turtlequeen2005,2019/01/16,CBD Oil Has anyone tried CBD oil to help with their anxiety? My meds don't seem to be keeping my anxiety in check and my doctor already has me on the max amount of anti anxiety meds. I've heard positive things about CBD oil.,2.5456521739130444,4.37885595652174,4.029782608695655,86.65380434782612,76.39130434782608,8.078260869565218,24.54347826086957,8.841846274778883,1.7919304347826082,178,6,37,4,4,59,35,46,0.14300000000000002,0.735,0.122,0.2263,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,4,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,7,5,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,19,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765128362758629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5750615214279652,0.0,0.0,0.17520602409966193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564714338144474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16795337479840852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22272023161755192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5566588212894579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22811167076907785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16646914561672185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17012218821553265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,maroontheanchor,2019/01/16,"A Step In The Right Direction I have a job interview coming up on Thursday I finally got a job in August delivering pizza and it took 11 months from the job prior to that.

I’m going to be back in an office setting and it feels so good. Cheers.",-0.1477310924369739,2.158815235294121,2.984761904761907,86.64000000000001,92.72549019607844,6.0515406162464975,19.050420168067227,7.447530270364453,0.8861126050420167,191,6,39,4,7,68,39,51,0.0,0.858,0.142,0.7975,3,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,8,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,2,8,5,0,17,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,6,25,5,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927248269485025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21590208092826985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126729890517014,0.0,0.0,0.2745612162021033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14244311181895508,0.21022290944435096,0.20045776772207186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7461573680089427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20005652395377388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21404312259678265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784675718897404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,flat_uranus_society,2019/01/16,"Question   While I’m not bipolar, a character in a story that I’m writing is. I want an accurate depiction of what it’s like though, so here’s my question: The character is a prosecutor who was falsely accused of abusing her toddler daughter. While she is extremely stressed, it takes a turn for the worst when she hits a manic phase. What would that accurately be like?",5.419285714285714,6.86519092857143,6.221428571428575,75.39357142857145,68.28571428571428,9.6,38.285714285714285,9.888512548439397,4.1215142857142855,295,17,52,7,5,97,50,70,0.168,0.743,0.08800000000000001,-0.7713,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,8,0,6,1,0,0,0,6,12,5,0,2,1,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,5,2,4,8,1,4,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,2,5,38,12,0,0.0,0.3384331703857592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790956475269975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6399576847750027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32719625042816325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21476349703736825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806369296837881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31069106365154736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684761196739014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029083493154751,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ThisIsIt_123,2019/01/16,Any one have long term experience with epival/depakote I’m 24/male and currently on it. I’m loosing hair and really concerned it could get worse. ,1.9192857142857136,4.75181378571429,3.5757142857142874,81.89428571428573,89.7142857142857,7.085714285714286,24.857142857142854,8.07648339933343,2.232185714285715,118,5,21,3,4,39,24,28,0.11900000000000001,0.8809999999999999,0.0,-0.4767,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,4,5,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,4,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034832112354921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3563153396239113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4365438892985585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233160965636366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3949405129359333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3024083942863273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858960477294025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4547937117708093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thegrandmaofdeath,2019/01/16,"Are you always supposed to be in an episode? With and without medication.  


And can you have wine?",1.4566666666666668,4.094020222222227,2.483333333333338,87.94500000000002,96.77777777777777,4.622222222222223,28.222222222222207,6.42735559955562,1.5420888888888893,76,4,14,1,3,24,16,18,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,0,4,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,13,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5124566320674929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6204284160478418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5936807061126447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,imaginarytea,2018/12/21,"(Meds) Need something to hold me over I need something to hold me over until I can take seroquel again. 
I'm forced to stop taking seroquel recently because of very hot and humid weather (low blood pressure, etc. Unbearable black clouding, lightheadedness, sometimes fainting, overheating) 
don't have access to psych or doctors. Need something to hold me over, like OTC. 
I'm quite sick so not being able to sleep is pretty awful and I can't continue like this. Also seroquel on top of lanotrigine is the only thing that keeps my mood non embarrassingly suicidal and remotely ok to be around. But we cab worry about that later. Lamotgrinine doesn't do shit on its own for me. 
Dxm or something would work? 
I just need to feel better ",4.366888374783109,7.125499338345865,4.724812030075189,79.41016772700986,74.41353383458647,7.099826489300174,28.27588201272412,8.139509932561175,2.2460357432041644,584,24,97,10,13,184,94,133,0.159,0.721,0.11900000000000001,-0.7946,0,0,4,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,0,4,6,9,1,2,1,2,11,6,3,0,0,21,21,9,1,5,5,0,2,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,5,0,5,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,0,3,10,4,19,18,2,14,0,1,1,0,1,8,1,2,8,59,15,3,0.15525099241167714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12415416254097958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382062983681913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463956398654456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13730688645005193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15890596928117628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17314589528547544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849956653372515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799421540771029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169558572362474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17244885373845387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4604665747803069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11807537560673273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579460730219425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16512854065220933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15329162538725136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15936291269387742,0.0,0.0,0.15536311282168486,0.0,0.0,0.4780791953429668,0.15354720125274554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297967813354244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16981938744265962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23345885013836426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031418608544634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12809832793887682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11302457150609647,0.1576649188565664,0.0,0.11028585064067473,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ktcsteph04,2018/12/21,"Lamictal withdrawal help Hi there,

I’ve heard Lamictal is a popular drug in the bipolar community as I’m using it now for my epilepsy. I’m titrating off it because I can’t deal with the side effects though—

My doctor went from 100/100 mg per day down to 50/50 mg per day. I’m experiencing a lot of withdrawal on day 4. Is that common? 

Would you all recommend titrating off slower? I feel like the doctor I’m seeing just is accepting withdrawals and seizures will happen while I ween off  but I’d like to limit that.

Thanks and best of luck to all! ",2.3645454545454534,4.732727706422021,3.9717931609674717,84.23598832360302,79.27522935779818,7.266388657214343,26.42285237698081,8.296473431620573,1.9713412844036704,436,18,85,9,11,145,74,109,0.0,0.75,0.25,0.9769,1,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,3,3,7,0,0,5,0,6,4,0,2,2,15,17,5,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,2,4,1,0,0,4,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,4,6,7,15,13,4,14,0,0,1,0,5,7,0,2,8,47,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614840092375968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23438569975405096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4321151192691081,0.23025780884495914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4572040001779419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590080788075679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292941351985178,0.15955696485872026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19750232029222875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497027440037883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21822914808019392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898790422343205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17797621433537433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205625104985686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21943430013114112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19289746593650264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070420822898888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15865713636824516,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,haleyannbateman,2018/12/21,"Help and opinions please! The last two months I have been attempting to go to a new psychiatrist to prescribe and regulate my medication. Im a military spouse and we moved across country on short notice. However, after getting a referral from my primary dr. for a psychiatrist I was told that the psychiatrist had a LONG WAIT LIST. My primary physician refilled my meds until I can be seen by the psychiatrist but tbh my meds are all out of wack. My depression is back stronger than ever and it's been hard doing normal tasks and going to work. M anxiety is causing physical symptoms. My will to live is declining and I'm wondering if I should go to the hospital voluntarily (first time) to get stabaluzd and evaluated or what. Any advice helps!",4.287692307692307,6.891342797101455,5.907971014492755,71.61255852842812,73.92753623188406,10.043255295429207,32.354515050167215,10.214889679676881,4.1305444816053525,598,30,101,20,13,203,98,138,0.063,0.858,0.079,0.2924,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,9,0,14,4,0,1,2,20,24,11,0,3,3,1,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,3,9,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,1,0,2,6,2,12,0,17,15,1,18,0,1,1,0,5,4,0,4,10,70,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17003042997146556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832571881179713,0.0,0.13310924486586753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13379497930911782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17874555601876838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14986563105405915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573926319370482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14800400103108882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818152559112584,0.0,0.2966640079583925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15586949635710787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332565757824638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18794946477979665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14183292631859462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15364486592871596,0.15398420192931891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3865487391632685,0.17528632703181254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13888484896759792,0.18493407576082094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16804993218372785,0.0,0.0,0.17048269912618474,0.0,0.19809973822843485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909993486207792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18085224450925508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014605867023754,0.0,0.0,0.16626410826873764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16997236070459126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886951823244797,0.12667380693759894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,paco3346,2018/12/21,Crying help stabilize your mood? Often times I find that a good cry is the fastest way to get back to a stable point (whether hypo or depressed). Its like an emotional reset button. Anyone else experience this?,4.019210526315792,6.925143289473687,4.572894736842105,79.19776315789477,76.63157894736842,6.957894736842108,25.28947368421053,8.07648339933343,1.9655052631578949,167,6,27,3,4,53,36,38,0.133,0.603,0.264,0.6199,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,2,0,5,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,2,4,16,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18064852059158634,0.2647162506309754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19865981478326591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5675838637807429,0.0,0.0,0.22252164215214126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21582328446952556,0.29061572352296955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252721740272874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361327012843896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13498034549059204,0.0,0.0,0.2166967531618196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731705792743645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621969035731878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442299257615465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15064945983904934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20507096540568934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,picklejuiceyummy,2018/12/29,"Anyone else very ashamed from sexual history, most prominently while manic I am but try not to think about it but it always comes up in my brain. I feel sad, mad, frustrated, and helpless thinking of who that girl was back then. I physically cringe and feel sick to my stomach 

It was during a ~6 month manic episode right after getting out of my last psych ward stay (I became manic while I was there aka “curing” my depression so I was discharged after 18 days)

Then I get like “wait no fuck the patriarchy for making me feel this way about exploring my sexuality”

But then I realize it was actually reckless and dangerous behaviour so..",3.555728291316523,6.21732411764706,4.738004201680674,78.7561379551821,76.73109243697479,8.336414565826331,26.723389355742306,9.075114841892004,2.6311338935574224,506,20,89,13,12,166,85,119,0.301,0.677,0.022000000000000002,-0.9922,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,6,9,4,1,2,0,6,4,2,1,0,19,17,13,0,0,4,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,5,0,1,7,0,0,2,2,8,0,0,5,3,14,1,13,12,1,19,0,3,0,1,2,4,1,1,12,60,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.2231074583180096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19023639345911564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15986166258689138,0.2342558898409651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17580043377302873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552238996307076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19694234562644825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744582244999474,0.0,0.1969165291778392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909889378959513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468027977140589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21136243802002666,0.2388968631020613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863619255286042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169584719346644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15261063036185235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18248828781979115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952466342527975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436864932114117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929905385297189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552230637662623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18864162981337212,0.0,0.18147386632724655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,youreawfuliloveyou,2018/12/29,"I am so mad. I can't stand this. Having bipolar means that I can't have the life I want or reach goals that i set for myself. Im mad today because I couldn't follow through on christmas plans because of a depressive episode that snuck up on me in December. Because of that, I didn't take my son to see Santa for his first Christmas and that was really important to me. I'm mad for missing events but also because I can't have the career or education that I want. 

Because of my episodes, i'm missing milestones and i'm furious. I think I need to hear that im not the only one and that this anger is real, justified, and that you guys feel it too. 😞",2.9191970802919727,3.8851183284671578,4.567598540145987,86.71636131386866,73.74452554744525,7.523795620437956,28.2985401459854,7.908726449838941,1.6722093430656937,509,20,110,7,10,172,79,137,0.18,0.755,0.065,-0.9539,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,3,3,8,5,0,4,0,11,2,0,0,0,16,26,9,0,4,4,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,12,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,6,8,0,2,2,3,18,0,14,23,0,10,0,3,1,0,5,4,0,2,3,72,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15264081351577088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5817710716270131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16439835989727386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651096226748107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16235620439864953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18899396250689768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151273829587032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4123504973895361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13481901890722595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079163051451846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14152967394082994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12934026802918772,0.14516727445882455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21725489758641192,0.12227792660674247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521008138699929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351250122529802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12230350646746392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18092498281541666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251633044225132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SenDrala,2019/01/01,"Seroquel side effects I was recently put onto seroquel (quetiapine in the UK) and about an hour after taking it, I have trouble with my balance and my speech becomes slurred. Only for an hour or so, but still off-putting.

Anyone else experienced this?",5.128333333333334,7.701886666666668,5.579722222222222,75.09625000000003,71.22222222222223,7.166666666666668,35.694444444444436,8.07648339933343,3.2137777777777785,200,11,31,3,4,64,39,45,0.043,0.9570000000000001,0.0,-0.2144,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,6,3,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,4,0,6,2,0,9,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,5,23,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859846172440094,0.2725355867329713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937622530951693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221983928955528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5238881399718539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20229544994050935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5347817290587326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626305287658793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124179299403809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19998946812006327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,peeweefap,2019/01/01,"Hello. Hi I'm new here. Been lurking for awhile. There's something on my mind that's bugging me. Idk if I should believe and apply all the things I've read in this sub. Part of me wants to think that some of the posters here are just trolls. Idk, just passing by. Maybe I'll open up and post about my experiences over time. Anyways, thank you for reading and thank you for this sub. I'm sorry for taking your time",0.7734117647058838,3.1309480470588262,1.468529411764706,99.6733823529412,86.1764705882353,3.8705882352941177,19.088235294117645,4.935628992294339,-0.6612117647058824,324,9,73,1,10,99,61,85,0.068,0.872,0.061,0.34,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,0,0,7,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,1,13,10,4,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,8,2,13,8,3,10,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,2,3,44,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542178647932252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207182212292989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266846854696407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22783104948736604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21792353496697656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443450292664431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21609977248545809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4514000864453981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17370791215126816,0.0,0.2525843671361811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16965243342864347,0.0,0.0,0.4154761183464706,0.0,0.0,0.14990451355300988,0.1445803488330778,0.0,0.0,0.2631438100175088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13308771775270298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,chinacatsunflowaaa,2019/01/01,"Slowly getting worse, idk what to do Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, I just need advice on what to do, my mental health is rapidly declining even with medication, most likely due to the severe toxic environment/relationship I'm in with my partner. I'm 26 and I dont know how to leave (we are on a lease together) or where to go. My parents live in town and say I can come live with them again but they are toxic in their own way, as much as I love them. 

I dont have any close friends who I could get a place with and I'm pretty much broke, even though I'm on disability for mental health reasons. I wouldn't be able to afford my own place unless I went the sect 8 route, which I dont think I can due to the waiting list in my area being over a 2 year wait. 

I've spoken to my therapist about all this and she never really has any solid advice other than ""you have to do what's best for you"" and I'm at the end of my fucking rope I just need some direction on what to do, anything would be helpful. I'm trying my best but damn.",4.2170810439560436,3.74403827678572,5.5639285714285736,85.86184065934067,70.25,8.499450549450549,25.26648351648352,7.882392219407189,1.0958060439560442,810,18,187,9,13,274,127,224,0.073,0.7879999999999999,0.139,0.9727,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,2,4,2,9,9,2,0,8,0,22,5,0,2,2,34,41,14,0,6,7,1,0,1,2,2,3,1,0,1,10,12,0,2,3,0,0,3,5,4,0,0,1,1,27,5,33,34,9,28,1,1,0,2,15,17,2,4,7,127,37,0,0.11315140727285695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211404912437216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538936741452607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311396706083774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374908420915871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09746991825525313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903421914935689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978378198482399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021856172674537,0.0,0.0,0.14947087469476855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742049657480765,0.10460665272627047,0.11823388029591557,0.0,0.06430655232836849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24054930946540146,0.0,0.0,0.07584300316569652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06218505427221741,0.0,0.0,0.11981100252851075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05528006209516964,0.0,0.19982953130362616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212356278964374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398813869560832,0.2280600100720471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16635860742667086,0.16780066951309572,0.08726934085181975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564124721025766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3546574126522147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10836777022949494,0.11511565986170146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248768890636591,0.11633849201676633,0.0,0.1214822656789958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998254062831627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12782888295073694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126663736599806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313775049877406,0.0,0.07250285292686985,0.11117068314450798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682237808482623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981432032871059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489248815737856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531095080620606,0.0803795132541636,0.12371330104737364,0.0,0.0728657964691083
bipolarreddit,number1peanutfarmer,2019/06/08,Abilify Does anyone know if I can drink on abilify? Ik all meds always say not to and there’s usually no side effects but is there any actual dangersif I drink while taking it?,3.3779047619047624,5.350543171428576,5.48,76.55333333333336,74.42857142857143,10.380952380952381,25.952380952380953,10.504223727775694,3.2636666666666674,141,5,26,5,3,49,31,35,0.059000000000000004,0.941,0.0,-0.2406,0,0,2,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,7,4,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,4,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,16,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.29228499248588075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492218021393249,0.0,0.0,0.2036815565446992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20942896844528405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262108992084901,0.0,0.0,0.5868244750030135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16460648845158402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326954176310306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23818761932634666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22519920533726265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3298752157607006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,meowza915,2019/10/15,"DAE struggle to grow out their hair? Or even to just leave it alone for longer than 6 months? I have beautiful curly/wavy hair that I’d love to see long for once but I can’t seem to just grow it out. Whenever I’m hypomanic I struggle with the intense need to change something about myself and the quickest/easiest thing seems to be my hair. 

I’m just coming out of a hypomanic episode where I spent a lot of money on pins and random bullshit, decided I was going to propose to my boyfriend, decided I suddenly wanted to have a baby, and really really struggled not to quit my job to start *looking* for a job in a completely different industry(optical) I’m interested in but have little experience in. And of course, I cut my hair. 

Now, I had cut it to my jaw in June and I really loved it. I felt “new” and sexy. Luckily, I’m a loyal customer and have been going to the same hairdresser for years, and I think she knew what was up. I asked her to just cut it off and give me something different. She gave me a simple 1 in trim cut and I left feeling pretty disappointed. I didn’t feel like a different person. I spent $50 on a haircut that was longer than my previous one. Honestly she could’ve given me a surprise Mohawk and I’d be over the moon about the New Me ™. 

Anyways, I’m rambling. But I just want to know if I’m the only one who suffers with this impulse.",2.196559139784945,4.076897501792118,4.241969892473119,84.52695483870971,77.5663082437276,7.761491039426522,25.496917562724015,8.608573733854374,1.8436760143369173,1069,40,222,23,25,366,148,279,0.12,0.72,0.16,0.9266,5,1,2,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,1,1,11,16,4,3,16,0,13,7,5,0,0,44,44,16,0,4,11,0,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,11,17,0,0,10,0,3,5,3,9,0,2,12,9,32,7,41,30,2,30,0,2,2,2,12,16,0,6,10,143,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12460222002949566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247121158972016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12726931423104385,0.10363420266512828,0.12614005684865345,0.0,0.0,0.0960556974915874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770869909138224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946192629445853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768375679958905,0.0,0.0,0.12166210812885282,0.08594765573603534,0.115514004504592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540985436348646,0.13674697580521758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387731313622936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06611782006744071,0.0,0.0,0.12738820284054864,0.13071438034529806,0.0,0.0,0.058776135869006214,0.12057965595447075,0.0,0.10646829428614524,0.10102794535512524,0.0,0.0,0.10228107916124964,0.21716431474398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602824696624676,0.0,0.0,0.08920643878106027,0.0,0.23238734117304555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281234920640494,0.1630468633269855,0.09149922572024377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10504781193104204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239591288868842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796176625610856,0.0,0.0,0.23121607088587745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09586944958776324,0.21904674112565406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852370825926229,0.0,0.0,0.08515422184421068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3773143584058745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992691413458776,0.07708814666640255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419208846627148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07747404382611738
bipolarreddit,kamicandy,2019/10/15,Lexapro What is your personal experience with Lexapro if you’ve been prescribed it? I’m considering possibly taking it again but I can’t for the life of me remember why I stopped in the first place.,3.399473684210527,6.151478684210532,4.262368421052631,81.4240789473684,77.94736842105263,9.06315789473684,33.1842105263158,9.516144504307137,3.6636631578947365,162,9,31,5,4,52,33,38,0.068,0.932,0.0,-0.3291,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,5,5,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,4,0,4,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,20,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.332289012429097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28894623700040195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399381553271457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2966104637859875,0.3549112390081105,0.0,0.0,0.38295751573243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3848106705848777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840020425239561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25540999400150033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3065238570050227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jellyfishmoon12,2019/10/15,"How do I talk to my doctor about my diagnoses and how I want it to be reassessed?   

​

For a while now I have felt like something is off. I feel like I do have bipolar disorder but something else is wrong if that makes sense. I want my doctor to look my current diagnoses again, but I do not know how to bring it up. We have tried everything over the last 8 months and I still feel the same. I think some else is there. Does this make sense?",2.9575155279503065,4.1891654347826135,3.3878881987577683,94.18195652173914,74.0,6.9962732919254655,24.01242236024845,7.447530270364453,0.7300944099378883,348,10,80,4,7,108,58,92,0.069,0.858,0.07400000000000001,-0.504,1,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,3,0,10,5,0,5,0,21,21,9,0,3,4,0,3,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,4,14,2,9,19,2,11,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,2,9,56,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18938854853527928,0.2123930824336877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3548231920396169,0.0,0.0,0.20032835087410827,0.35781685141290903,0.15296286017290034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920348712485645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15709301450131213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17676156447385896,0.12487242186097977,0.16782905104066445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960618675318702,0.14247992979842158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17079042751635085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14678241197035766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333518699034065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13951840411526112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691289590590312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139590214881044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14049229358468213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11200053670541388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867322773029848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20619532235892804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19110911578721085,0.2123930824336877,0.0
bipolarreddit,noidonthavemypantson,2019/10/15,Trintellix Long Term Does anyone know the long term side effects of Trintellix?  I can't find much information on it.  I'm talking like 10-20-30 years from now what is this going to do to me?  I've been on this for over 4 years now and now Buproprion as well.  I'm getting anxious taking 3-4 pills (one for heartburn) a day for the rest of my life.  Any help or advice out there?,1.6219710669077756,3.310658430379746,3.3000361663652846,91.50405063291142,78.62025316455697,6.53960216998192,22.678119349005428,7.447530270364453,0.7374144665461122,292,9,66,4,7,97,61,79,0.027000000000000003,0.8690000000000001,0.105,0.7041,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,3,0,4,3,0,1,0,7,10,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,3,2,13,9,4,16,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,11,37,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515117731544732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17502932476926086,0.0,0.0,0.2907696264078751,0.0,0.17996823844016754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16599079793295715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252376733506738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352434780484393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344720395297744,0.0,0.1462767393759063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17251845738681498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14145101311613908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18179728562067396,0.1257443750753198,0.0,0.0,0.4555518641165457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18920618335462255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17440944044651024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19352004922500185,0.2068747753209169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314183051067865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3314925379642105
bipolarreddit,summerserenade7,2019/10/15,"I feel like two separate people. I’ve hit my first hypomanic episode in quite a long time. Since moving back to my hometown I’ve been mostly depressed and anxious. I lost my insurance and although my psychiatrist that I moved away from sent me a few refills, I am out of my prazocin which helps with nightmares, flashbacks and panic attacks. I still have a mood stabilizer, antidepressants and something to help with the night sweats. I have been a hermit since I quit yet another job that I got hired for when I was feeling like superwoman a couple of months ago. 

I’ve been in bed mostly, but have been trying to lose weight from binge and comfort eating. I’m still struggling with that as of late. I’ll do things like buy a gym membership and get healthy produce and groceries, just so that my account overdrafts and my vegetables spoil in the fridge when I crash. 

Lately I’ve been terribly paranoid and my thoughts race so often, I tend to forget my thoughts in mid sentence, and find trouble focusing on people talking to me because my brain is caught in a web of impending doom. 

These thoughts include loved ones dying, particularly my husband whom I am very much in love with but also codependent on. I imagine my house burning down because I left a candle burning. I picture being arrested for my use of pot. I have no driver’s license, even though I’m in my early 20s because I had a panic attack and failed the test. 

So very often I feel as if I don’t deserve simple things like feeling happy and productive for the day. I feel guilt about being out of work even thought my husband is fine with me not working, but even still I feel bad and avoid buying things for myself like clothes, getting my hair done, or even simple things like ordering coke instead of water. I won’t watch tv or play music because I feel like I don’t deserve to enjoy things that normal people do to to relax. I feel like if I’m not constantly doing something or contributing to the household (we also live with his parents), I feel insecure when I have to stay in bed all day. They don’t understand that I’m not fully functional or stable. My husband knows and understands and is compassionate about my illness, which makes me so incredibly blessed to have him. Then a thought will cross my mind like “I would not be able to move on if he were to die in some crazy accident”. 

My side of the family is somewhat toxic but I love them very much. They tend to make me feel guilty if I make plans with them and flake when my moods swing. Some of them have even said before that bipolar is a trend, and that I don’t need to “put chemicals in my body” and instead improve my diet and exercise, and to remember that there are people out there who have it worse and that I should be grateful for what I have.  The biggest insult is when someone mentions the word “lazy”, to which my husband will snap to my defense because he knows I’ve worked 10+ jobs and even began college courses in flight school (which I had to abandon because I couldn’t pass a flight medical exam due to my psychiatric meds).

He sees that I’m not lazy, he knows how much I love to learn and work. But after watching me crumble time and time again when I push myself too hard, he has learned how to take care of me and support me. 

I guess I needed to use this post to clear my head. Does anyone struggle with paranoia, flashbacks, nightmares, eating problems, or anything else I mentioned in this post? I could really use some advice before it gets so bad I end up hiding under my bed.",7.910188646887327,6.766447725947528,7.51905676556337,77.09115932087124,62.99416909620991,10.053095523923856,36.357228605728004,8.841846274778883,3.0345700222946324,2804,111,529,34,34,886,328,686,0.163,0.687,0.15,-0.8299,3,1,2,0,0,0,58.0,1,0,5,12,39,47,4,7,20,0,47,20,5,9,2,116,101,59,2,12,20,5,13,9,0,5,4,1,3,0,28,37,7,3,25,5,3,9,12,22,0,3,21,17,88,23,76,68,11,70,2,6,3,4,33,26,0,18,40,356,116,15,0.05738695929775736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0560778724540608,0.05087007688647301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178466123415846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060175230484855666,0.0,0.06483092945792676,0.0,0.04012629625425637,0.0,0.047224577816230434,0.0,0.0,0.1305719017032651,0.053916937323425534,0.044127029414379265,0.09583142791747233,0.20989534644848448,0.0,0.09766415122623943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06374397481590086,0.0,0.06406282558322486,0.0,0.0,0.058509829644410115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06201491591008582,0.0,0.0458188173798816,0.06349757894555796,0.0,0.07401968248472504,0.0,0.04942730395322322,0.0,0.1191172070373144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05021971480536178,0.058726783688307464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11744237206340072,0.04793944075949535,0.0,0.05082781258587265,0.0,0.0,0.22742127232119305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05409931791734,0.0,0.2901657090614289,0.16398902075509805,0.0,0.0,0.05245064114572407,0.048813318262530665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994695302104183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04589759374891686,0.0,0.06321820552947842,0.0,0.0,0.061089485278634816,0.05140744358324256,0.0,0.058895576377657285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693053830420321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621684610896904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389540429988095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09461511609421992,0.0,0.12946997937575042,0.0,0.062351099188990115,0.0,0.0,0.2523273262704345,0.0,0.050673736437752664,0.05078565311622061,0.0,0.06420132843849805,0.06264464510884445,0.0,0.2071758852108276,0.0,0.11491872284488505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06374397481590086,0.05781132407816876,0.0,0.0,0.057944469707562375,0.0,0.0458057234079423,0.18297976746865854,0.12655805433605158,0.08510340634353228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053853773801708894,0.05622703570664745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03888688880634041,0.0,0.0,0.13466246404960006,0.0637214270113998,0.0,0.0,0.1591395675401104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992168757304624,0.0,0.0,0.05491156976981194,0.0,0.057689744478761074,0.0,0.12207619022722148,0.0,0.0,0.036763555603218666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500823796522175,0.0,0.0545881397736156,0.0,0.0,0.05807866655286654,0.045729976645645584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494217150315866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04862378438526803,0.08835856988115418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061166863033512285,0.1374878994748391,0.0,0.0,0.1199866198054523,0.0,0.0,0.06512204134485983,0.0,0.0,0.0431478514967092,0.046125464104154336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19062672897622165,0.0,0.05638239614053965,0.22779417748430916,0.10038839238067256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038961978384235235,0.0,0.056058720582587984,0.11948369697756975,0.0,0.14869172229371086,0.0,0.14205075440766424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06988185628782131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16711355937661554,0.0,0.05848221422950727,0.040766049372827816,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AnnoirNevilly,2019/10/15,"My partner is a toxic person or are bipolar? ​

Hello, I would like to know if I'm in a relationship with a toxic person or bipolar. How to proceed? I'm in distance relationship, I met him on internet 9 months ago.

He already said openly that loves me and want to stay with me but sometimes I get really confused because I noticed some things, like:

1. Unstable behavior: Some days he can be lovely, send memes, videos, photos, ask a lot of things about my day or me, search for subjects to talk, very supportive and shows a lot affection and another days be cold, distant, send just 2 sentences in a whole day. 2. He always want a lot and ask a lot of stuff but rarely do the same.
2. He said that care, worry and love me but in some fights he already said things like: I have no words, do what you want, deal with it, you wanna my apologises or not? do your own point, I'm tired of fight, I have no will to always repeat the same thing, its always the same shit and so on. 4. With some regularity he use childhood traumas and family to justify his shit actions or do shit or be selfish.
3. Has a dificult to admit that are wrong and handle with the consequences of his actions, its always fault of something or someone 6. Abuse of alcohol. 7. Likes to play the victim, the family are bad, the friends are bad, the womans in his country are bad and so on.
4. Some days he feels like the person in the world another ones thinks that is better than the most of people. 9. He makes me feel bad and guilty even in situations that he are wrong.

**tl;dr:** Am I in a relationship with a toxic person or maybe he are bipolar? What I sould do in this case?",1.5659878419452902,3.891885294832832,3.3191610942249237,88.00828571428572,82.06990881458967,6.191610942249241,22.16595744680852,7.447530270364453,0.944521945288754,1278,42,260,20,35,425,162,329,0.225,0.627,0.147,-0.9915,0,0,2,0,3,0,59.0,0,3,0,1,6,29,6,1,22,0,24,11,3,4,0,60,49,25,0,6,14,0,2,5,2,2,5,3,0,6,16,17,1,0,5,3,0,4,3,16,0,1,4,6,23,13,37,40,15,30,0,0,0,3,44,15,3,20,15,168,39,0,0.0,0.0929897621979612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06957062428689488,0.08387467602162417,0.0,0.0,0.1732163328177989,0.0,0.2612172490916679,0.08503651794522861,0.09536568237889144,0.0,0.1645929633950453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14674240119395854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621207859151464,0.047842632254202315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06941201541601902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08001885635765363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530758667552457,0.0809127363779807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05183741556231247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479739584197626,0.0,0.07936693145207767,0.0560684160925776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0606359281547795,0.0,0.04100423443001765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043132316000111165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917146438722246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668944513122493,0.21250246540034284,0.0,0.05238814760993125,0.0,0.07884692653690896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264454407087346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08935364709778333,0.0,0.0,0.05318224969208889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05441037118550133,0.2741140234029701,0.0,0.0,0.07419199509642874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050278349687378,0.0,0.0,0.2527847663558401,0.0,0.0,0.2239664963266791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416856409457589,0.0,0.08821840878461773,0.0,0.0,0.06649856343688748,0.06042020421403895,0.07762189483714799,0.0,0.0,0.08365265215559388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984449079395393,0.0,0.08906180899450568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06308182589167828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20856301153609605,0.05028886763790266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902048968049041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06778428878305745,0.0,0.06475686211772094,0.13887428014210898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08762369364606372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970350257864459,0.0,0.05575221580473315,0.17161812453627467,0.09536568237889144,0.0
bipolarreddit,sarahswati_,2019/10/15,"Sister-in-law is bipolar with no medication Hello. My sister in law is bipolar and possibly schizophrenic but has never sought help. My husband has taken her with him to his therapist a few times which is how he knows what her diagnosis is. She lives with her mom and her 9 year old son and is completely dependent on her mom for financial and logistical pieces of her life, especially with regards to her son. Grandma is number one parent in her son’s eyes because mom isn’t able to emotionally or mentally manage his daily needs. She has multiple jobs but is always looking for new ones because she thinks people at every job are trying to kill her or they’re “stupid” for trivial reasons. Her bipolar swings have gotten more intense recently and she is trying to kick her mom out of the house that she (mom) owns. I don’t personally see these episodes because she is able to hold it together in front of me, but my husband sees them and says she screams at her mom in front of her son and her son has also said he’s scared of her when she yells. We don’t know how to help but my husband came home so upset last weekend that he had me call CPS because he thinks that she is abusive towards her son and mom. One of the scarier things she does according to my husband is that she will be screaming at them and then go to the bathroom and come out acting like nothing happened and start asking for things. Anyway, I don’t really know what to do so I’m reaching out this community to ask for help. Does anyone have advice on who/where we can go? 

Thank you all in advance",6.649195445920303,6.247809832258067,6.899829222011388,78.0732732447818,65.19354838709678,9.745730550284632,33.396584440227706,9.168548406835145,2.7736185958254267,1248,47,242,19,17,404,164,310,0.129,0.8340000000000001,0.037000000000000005,-0.9867,3,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,2,1,2,1,7,8,2,2,4,0,27,7,1,4,2,42,49,24,1,1,6,19,0,1,0,1,6,5,1,1,12,22,0,1,6,1,0,8,6,6,0,3,5,9,44,2,40,42,5,33,0,0,4,0,68,14,0,3,12,162,56,3,0.1669443313155431,0.09890086683492114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156803421023345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675266071885709,0.06945552864303887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05836567905243585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15607041395185398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20353542969738692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523441388419302,0.09546992027382947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190387958350766,0.08751897756776321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460941093522277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389495131864962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07032889969165693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487831072024804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381416042010691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16784889936800346,0.0,0.08372938805912662,0.0,0.0,0.09631567198157907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16566648889776706,0.0,0.09234958387008232,0.0,0.13762235777936832,0.06804095589262556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058958859169296815,0.04078028379843932,0.0,0.07370745155677977,0.0,0.07009559615040557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840894251829893,0.08412031012014433,0.0,0.0,0.6843311409931655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06189355316326702,0.06437888005105763,0.0806179377402628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009379420538892,0.0,0.08758999632820194,0.0,0.1696886991789983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926859616981488,0.0,0.0,0.05786908954127727,0.0728846753808453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09410232485578184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05347440674732679,0.08582328856574774,0.08241869342995123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794011444741401,0.06638041645846804,0.08357019966046425,0.0,0.13303301770304893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059082028481449535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684995529853515,0.0,0.09691761794527877,0.11091039563425084,0.10697118659034988,0.0,0.0,0.04867329106042123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334424244953828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05375333794115261
bipolarreddit,MikisMagicalMadness,2019/09/29,"I think I just cockblocked myself by admitting that I was type II to someone I was talking to. Accidentally mentioned to a possible Tinder fling/actually potential boyfriend material that sometimes I’m depressed. He asked me to elaborate and I admitted that I was type II bipolar. He asked what that meant and I explained in short, and mentioned that I was well medicated and doing okay. It’s been half an hour or more and he hasn’t responded to anything I texted him. Maybe it’s just my severe anxiety, but I feel like he’s weirded out and now ghosting me. Dammit. He seemed really nice too. Can I just not be bipolar for a whole minute? UGH. I mean, it’s his loss if he backs out of our first date, but still. I’m tired of everything going wrong. :(",2.2951027397260257,4.87888787671233,3.7290239726027385,84.5799743150685,81.1917808219178,7.211643835616439,26.93321917808219,8.278499904357787,2.107686301369863,594,26,115,13,16,195,94,146,0.187,0.736,0.078,-0.9461,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,0,2,8,9,0,0,3,1,9,4,0,0,0,24,22,10,1,1,8,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,9,8,0,0,8,0,0,1,2,5,1,2,6,1,19,4,12,15,2,11,0,2,0,0,18,4,0,3,7,75,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15337112505849615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16498277050205293,0.0,0.3748544087856056,0.0,0.0,0.1541612419520195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17267816721163354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801837528888402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137166873558397,0.14322712995644918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17053315999328933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11394072768522018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19743817560024832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09794725846045972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014149815668405,0.21838786304388536,0.0,0.20196839980071327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260176702039565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284363680397098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825147864072968,0.0,0.22649194234862705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16987100851156578,0.0,0.19828563020131013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16010825728737962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16114293045052816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846323621205455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23042898975515064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18026085484299986,0.0,0.0,0.22383528966444724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21919980212436452,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nicole723_y,2019/09/29,"Pre-existing BPD in Australia I’m an international student in Sydney that have bipolar II. I was diagnosed last year in my home country, and now I’m taking a gap year in Australia cuz my school starts in February. When I applied for a student visa, I did the body check in Australia and the visa center need a psychiatrist report to confirm that I have “no risk to the public and individual”. Later on when i went to the appointment i was told that the specialist I’m meeting doesn’t give out report to the government. It’s been a month for me to get the report and that cost me 400AUD. I talked to my insurance company and I was told that pre-existing condition (meaning I got the illness before I came to Australia) wasn’t covered at all. I couldn’t afford to pay 400AUD every time I need an appointment, and I don’t know what else choice do I have. I need prescription for my pills, and I need to see a doctor to adjust my meds during the four year study in the University of Sydney. Does anyone lives in Australia that knows any other way to do deal with it? I’m not a citizen, and I don’t know what can I do with myself. Any advice would be appreciated.",4.920014367816091,5.526843271551727,6.2092413793103445,78.09322988505748,68.8706896551724,9.290114942528737,29.69080459770115,9.3871,2.5201214942528734,917,33,180,18,15,310,118,232,0.040999999999999995,0.9420000000000001,0.016,-0.4767,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,18,0,19,6,1,1,1,26,41,11,0,6,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,1,11,12,0,0,5,0,5,2,7,1,0,1,11,1,26,0,28,27,1,26,0,0,1,0,8,12,0,0,11,118,37,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14501784548908028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20183846868955432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376693650451488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12628015447582627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16484245008197956,0.1869085785936845,0.0,0.0,0.16973367424107974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15299713641969806,0.0,0.15062607843887688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15189691749815246,0.12986860099080422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12397179330561404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12503605864296016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775345233606751,0.1423618288950848,0.0,0.0,0.11869155992060143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14886046449468449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24467547869122835,0.12096837841076932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310427047157395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16165454164464713,0.16484245008197956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845398245324312,0.0,0.0,0.4401562360209365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019191570213564,0.11825810069471095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10504051691893493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115807035415169,0.11928083455819473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653507309312654,0.0,0.0,0.2836111485143201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779551682175705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13757121145043824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542134340049962,0.0,0.0,0.2867002986481587
bipolarreddit,mirrorwonderland,2019/09/29,"Cannot get my husband to ‘get it’ regarding what it’s like to be bipolar I’m extremely upset so this may not come out coherently. For background I’m 35F, hubs/stepdad is 41M, and son is 15m. We have been married for 3 years. 

I work my ass off to be ‘normal’ and ‘functioning’. I have a degree and a full time job. I pay bills and I’m not in any mania-induced debt. I don’t give into my negative coping skills. In short, I’m rocking it on the bipolar front. When it’s just me dealing with myself, I feel like I have it on lockdown. 

In comes my husband. No matter how many times I tell him, he doesn’t get or care that his behavior can be really inappropriate towards me and my son when he is upset. I find it insulting that I hammer myself to stay emotionally regulated and he does nothing of the kind. He thinks it’s ok to do or say whatever in the heat of the moment and is justified by being angry and right. 

This is killing my emotional regulation. 

It’s ruining our marriage. I’ve asked him to go see someone. He doesn’t think he has a problem. He blames me and my kid for his ‘reactions’. 

How, when you’re the ‘sick one’ in a relationship get the ‘normal one’ to see things realistically and make changes?? I know I can’t change him. But I want him to want to change his behavior. 

If not, I’m not seeing any other option than divorce. And I also find that devastating. Especially when I think it could genuinely be solved with some therapy on his part and likely some family therapy too. It’s all crappy communication.",1.6622204823050415,3.8369219158576047,4.145315794968159,83.0963827121829,80.6504854368932,7.482242405261508,24.20722413613112,8.460557738077197,1.7471080697358805,1188,44,244,27,31,415,167,309,0.155,0.779,0.066,-0.9847,3,1,0,0,1,0,35.0,2,0,0,2,10,12,2,2,10,1,24,4,1,3,1,50,50,24,1,7,9,4,1,3,0,1,3,1,0,1,18,19,0,0,7,1,3,4,11,6,0,2,1,5,36,6,30,42,5,28,0,1,3,1,31,15,1,7,11,157,54,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185212634485623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156215140371672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737698862204358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11710567305366484,0.0,0.3645144969889645,0.19788047880236628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170499180058048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11841384497931386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005132562953351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584002147266736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827816582199797,0.0,0.058075798311572925,0.08205477936634137,0.0,0.0,0.2099567772046344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400348462624929,0.11018252976651004,0.06527660837645756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11397912162209732,0.0,0.1270736709845254,0.11960722547836533,0.0631231077957446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16834186410678295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07666879489597889,0.11644826988119132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22507345860537686,0.11020961899596708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556618884144909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243803261779216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990386359707087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358115634459148,0.0,0.0,0.12331480998887767,0.0,0.09808834496105834,0.0,0.09133991564841064,0.0,0.0,0.2745815391890306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973190493197256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242364586691498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003912007529019,0.0,0.26270091014916136,0.0,0.076306738660661,0.22078964733716694,0.0,0.0,0.1339495754013839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13549278079486368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08361819700265448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07396496761115233
bipolarreddit,nopesorrymom,2019/09/29,"I need a buddy I’m on mobile, my chat doesn’t work (inbox only) I’ve tried 5 discords that are inactive atm, and I’m having issues navigating for a better resource. I’m not in danger, but I could really use a friendly voice right now.",1.1565306122449002,3.2595262857142906,4.366693877551022,81.21044897959185,82.06122448979592,6.3689795918367365,20.00408163265305,7.554174236665415,0.9360089795918368,184,5,35,3,5,67,40,49,0.0,0.804,0.196,0.8203,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,1,3,1,0,3,0,4,0,0,2,0,7,9,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,3,2,3,8,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,18,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33166419020412924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29941345358217786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897303282176346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39141102678461104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780637548287401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852105589613025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402397918273938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3202548688387167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546058840781058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238865938851164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730103635069646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HerExBoy,2019/09/29,"Bipolar Brain Hello Bipolar members alike,

I made a video called Bipolar Brains on youtube. If you type in ""Bipolar Brain Her Ex"" it should pop up. Go check it out and let me know what you think.... aghhh I hope you'll give it a chance and like it.",-0.7542222222222215,1.216919400000002,0.028666666666666174,104.75211111111112,105.0,2.2222222222222223,17.555555555555557,3.1291,-1.201911111111111,190,6,43,0,9,57,38,50,0.0,0.85,0.15,0.7506,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,3,7,3,1,0,9,9,3,0,3,1,1,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,7,2,4,5,0,5,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,2,1,23,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.803311629873085,0.2449306987421065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301019761187979,0.13632176183997155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23824173565809625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318244541429609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452799315239705,0.0,0.1171867435989434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22696765212685616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536968830010669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fruitsnackfanatic,2019/09/29,"DAE suffer from extreme nightmares ?? I also have PTSD from child abuse and bipolar1 disorder , but i suffer from the absolute worst nightmares . I’d almost call them night terrors but I’ve never officially been tested or diagnosed . They’ll wake me up in panic attacks and it’s every single night . It’s been like this for years and I can’t think of any other cause than maybe it being due to being bipolar .? Anyone else ??",3.5399050632911404,6.210989620253166,4.392895569620254,81.1561787974684,76.84810126582278,5.975316455696203,23.799050632911392,7.1686216300943375,1.2852139240506335,336,11,55,4,8,108,62,79,0.317,0.65,0.033,-0.9834,0,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,0,0,2,0,1,7,1,2,1,0,7,3,1,1,1,10,8,7,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,2,0,6,1,9,3,2,7,0,2,0,0,4,2,0,2,6,37,11,1,0.0,0.2577887053838209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21786816625041566,0.0,0.0,0.17399323725202748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14795726055921196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15213226459267398,0.22292949065450476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24752096446208466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221665988633841,0.0,0.0,0.22350764543197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22083225342807586,0.0,0.0,0.2493577767268392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18175451927673866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833148341646211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629529246828127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21858155817381628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16780589163210927,0.0,0.0,0.4083554840647191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25527531225015704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543314683469508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13941214362926385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011002978404588
bipolarreddit,aivilo0330,2019/09/29,One of my employees has bipolar disorder. How can I be supportive of her without being intrusive? I manage a doctor’s office and one of my employees has bipolar disorder. I know she is struggling lately and I want to be helpful and supportive but I don’t want to overstep. She is very open about her struggles and tells me about them. She is in the process of switching medications and had to take a few days off last week because she isn’t able to function. Today she suddenly seemed really out of it at work. I told her she could take her lunch break early. She came back from break and asked if she could leave for the day. I am really concerned about her and I want her to know she can reach out to me and not feel bad about missing work but I don’t want to offend her or seem intrusive Does anyone have any advice for me for how to be a good boss in this situation?,2.875246212121212,4.695833153409094,4.138272727272728,86.29157575757576,75.42045454545455,7.6478787878787875,25.36969696969697,8.447377352677275,1.6649951515151509,689,24,141,13,15,226,96,176,0.08800000000000001,0.8009999999999999,0.111,0.2465,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,2,7,8,1,2,5,0,19,5,0,3,0,32,36,14,0,7,6,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,12,1,0,5,0,0,1,5,5,0,2,3,1,31,3,28,27,1,19,0,1,0,0,21,7,0,4,9,104,33,5,0.1323663159750456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12934683202064334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001363389741407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255360579989384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237446372974504,0.0,0.0,0.10178152649973417,0.11052034489445113,0.08068927763866121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15139180268652316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21136746512183047,0.0,0.0,0.170730646823599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30340653157443626,0.1354825332415139,0.11583465511062492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06692838651977369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102258576254324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872235143588149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14549013116333046,0.10789621421651582,0.14931496989075474,0.14015681643033465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13334513770214154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17938968274374742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16959450289369035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410026454650555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14878528508718675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27675602653104553,0.0,0.0,0.30041545351334065,0.0,0.0,0.199045992843916,0.0,0.1156939944437319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546779035725866,0.12648168734800913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921607320145577,0.3122923306202934,0.0,0.10617627446208328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275964050969432,0.0,0.19272850901009564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sniperbullet1997,2019/02/07,"has anyone taken olanzapine/zyprexa or valproate/valproic acid for anxiety? how that work out for social situations does it make you calm/relaxed around people and confident?

",7.627738095238098,11.478358678571427,7.014285714285716,61.39738095238097,69.35714285714286,9.447619047619048,37.904761904761905,9.725611199111238,5.170176190476192,145,8,17,4,3,45,27,28,0.06,0.8140000000000001,0.126,0.4329,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,6,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,4,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,11,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025995016792675,0.0,0.0,0.2765821756885081,0.0,0.0,0.35212898710306817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.346154000740848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640369147651851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742289467078783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4446218762002707,0.0,0.4032198540777409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879697115986141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ihavenoidea209,2019/02/07,"Question about lithium and possible secondhand effects? Hello, 

I don’t know if this is the right subreddit, but I am hoping someone knows what I’m talking about because I’m super frustrated and I tried to ask my doctor but they don’t know the answer either. 

Basically, my partner has been on lithium the day we met, and ever since meeting them, I’ve had frequent breakouts, patches of eczema emerging and rashes all over my body.  My period has also been coming late every month since meeting them and I have ALWAYS been regular and on time. And now I’m starting to have these pinkish bumps on my face (not pimples I think.. blood would come out if I squeezed them) and their acne has also been getting a lot worse too. I’ve never had such a big reaction to anything before and I’m highly suspecting it’s their medication because I don’t know what else it could possibly be.. (we tried to switch soaps and detergents etc) They said that their previous partners never complained about any skin problems or etc but they only started lithium when they met me. 

Are secondhand effects possible from lithium? Has anyone else’s partners experienced the same thing or am I being paranoid?",4.476506849315065,7.003364264840188,5.060408675799085,78.28513356164386,73.01826484018265,7.302374429223744,31.49794520547945,8.238735603445708,2.7500865753424653,950,45,153,16,20,304,132,219,0.081,0.865,0.054000000000000006,-0.7089,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,2,0,10,3,10,5,1,0,6,0,23,7,5,2,4,44,42,20,0,6,9,0,2,0,3,1,2,1,0,3,8,15,0,0,10,0,0,2,6,3,0,0,9,4,26,2,14,29,6,23,0,0,0,0,25,8,0,7,13,110,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993787401814693,0.10372587137620352,0.0,0.0,0.08477206550352097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08716413274012992,0.12772738095449698,0.10258333695410206,0.0,0.11653888466100765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15198134845243447,0.0,0.10607521545840487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138467508863276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21476454677813306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995296813538363,0.0,0.0,0.08039442998425836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12759327321038774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20827238832963585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780543943358818,0.0,0.11276076442485775,0.10503017608487893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512892944332553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317085662274266,0.0,0.1238140337408612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740362408465774,0.0,0.1406202356263161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598021234854134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12558033998210474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950123804322072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19228866476101067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09480841863499237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4216012390183206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928136417218142,0.0,0.0,0.13964606719831002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064576914169411,0.1185787950902516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062376250003308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562275595110253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17646787827094695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019579306296272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281757879180113,0.07987614346912436,0.0,0.0,0.07268938307182216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16926989893024652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270376775303992,0.08855383303528634,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,folie-circulaire,2019/02/07,"Rapid cycling? Need help I am a 38yo female. My pdoc says I rapid cycle. Because I was untreated for 20+ years, my bipolar cycles have gotten shorter and shorter as I've aged. Now a cycle lasts 3, maybe 4 days. 

I'm on Abilify and Lamictal. Have been for almost a year. I still have little baby cycles, but lately my depression is really hitting me hard. It's weird, I'm deeply depressed but have energy to get out of bed, go to class, socialize, etc. I guess that is thanks to my medication. 

I am really becoming discouraged and hopeless. I'm having intrusive thoughts of suicide just because I am sick of being stuck in this endless loop of misery. And now I don't even get the hypomania to look forward to. I have often thought about how easy it would be to hang myself and just be done with it all. I'm NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF but I can't get this idea that I should out of my head. 

I do go to therapy which I do not find helpful as of late and my next pdoc appt is next week. I'm worried that my doctor will want to commit me if I admit how awful I'm feeling. I've never been committed and if I was, I'd fail out of my classes which would just be more fucking depressing. 

If anyone has words if encouragement or anything to help me out I'd really, really appreciate it. I feel very alone right now. I just need some relief.",1.972857142857144,3.8891705054945054,4.186016117216116,84.50065054945055,78.37728937728937,7.298402930402932,23.74051282051282,8.238735603445708,1.5038642930402941,1040,35,211,20,25,359,152,273,0.204,0.662,0.134,-0.9777,0,1,0,0,0,4,31.0,0,0,0,1,13,12,2,0,4,1,30,6,1,2,4,51,57,19,2,10,14,0,3,0,0,4,4,1,1,0,11,12,0,1,7,0,0,5,5,9,0,0,9,5,30,3,29,39,4,28,0,6,1,1,7,9,1,9,16,138,41,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11706549364520738,0.1210804157170228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08174410681657218,0.0,0.0962045165822645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14253086896489853,0.12911461900197502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539535661627753,0.0,0.3020755358336027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11965928905048458,0.0,0.11963647101622335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13038223060839993,0.07721598433102496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822340425205745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068508986039041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080786564516622,0.18323727884048896,0.0,0.19932286127753535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878626307319696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047257273088028,0.0,0.11998033050279645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23508093423629114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319737959459873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12934029674459765,0.0,0.0,0.09529482491571106,0.2637524220169737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11717154691567172,0.0,0.0,0.09817245326559644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11744881526172755,0.0,0.0,0.11777152370877038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17337014845624885,0.09016590114366728,0.0,0.2486638847381188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2995745231151477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983795656611427,0.0,0.09296915484585797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191719847464596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336209742561886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12787730542973733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076322773376536,0.13369336625958542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856222309528044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646053524017976,0.06895478952871552,0.0,0.09377575996098224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11872475391529495,0.0,0.1660947859880595,0.0,0.0,0.15056857625048053
bipolarreddit,throwforRz,2019/02/07,"Really needing some advice [TW for mentions of self harm/suicide] A quick preface is that I made sure to read the info and I'll be taking everything with a grain of salt and also reaching out to my physicatrist soon, but I'm not very comfortable with him so I wanted to see if anyone could help me sort of understand some semblance of what's wrong with me currently, and that all I know is that I have bipolar but I don't know what type and didn't even know there were types until the other day
--
So since mid January I've been..I don't really know how to describe what it's been like. Definetly been up and down. I didn't end up creating this throwaway until I cut myself I dont even remember when, a few days ago or last week I dont know anymore. I just get so confused and disoriented whenever I try to figure out what's happening. I've just been crying and then being happy and then wanting to die and cutting myself and enjoying times with friends and sobbing because my friends hate me. Alot of crying and confusion I guess. It all started about maybe mid January ? I just remember not being able to speak up to my family (I'm 16) since it was my brothers birthday soon. Now it's my birthday in a few days. When I'm at my best, I'm drawing (all I ever do really) and watching but not listening to things. A sort of list of some stuff: crying constantly, eating constantly and feeling extremely hungry, sleeping at 9am until 6 pm, having trouble recalling events and feeling disoriented and confused alot, I was already paranoid before but it's been even heightened now, seeing larger things that aren't there than usual, feeling extremely insecure alllll the time and doubting and hating myself and feeling as if everyone I care about hates me and feeling guilty I'm like this, stopping doing everything I love (aka art) because I just can't bring myself to do anything but play cookie run and listen to videos, being tired all the time from crying and not sleeping, not being able to focus barely, thinking about wanting to die when it gets really bad, being extremely short and snappy  with my family because hearing them speak to me is irritating me so bad I get so unreasonably angry I,only moving to eat and having even more extreme memory issues (it's taken me a long time just to being it back into my head everything that's been going on). I just want it to stop and I want to feel bettrr I'm so tired and stressed. I started writing this feeling sharp but now I'm just so confused and I don't know what emotiona I'm feeling right now I just want to sleep or die",6.432003543682704,6.39473460869565,7.212456044704923,74.43013833992094,65.56126482213438,9.983262913997546,33.45618100040889,9.668497473035632,3.1806323565489985,2056,81,370,38,29,686,230,506,0.23399999999999999,0.653,0.113,-0.9978,1,0,0,0,0,3,44.0,0,0,1,1,38,29,5,7,12,0,34,10,4,2,6,110,87,55,3,10,23,1,9,2,2,0,3,5,0,1,26,35,2,2,20,4,0,4,14,17,0,0,12,18,45,12,52,67,13,57,0,1,3,1,15,15,1,17,40,259,71,3,0.13737988686879302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712301773656215,0.06088949034056565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580106066350434,0.05493132294749385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06812196634851866,0.04802960557006579,0.0,0.056525970684020724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05281832652388177,0.11470646717373405,0.12561825588181047,0.0,0.058450082609281036,0.0,0.07208585780166238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07003397527611759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14845885260622688,0.0,0.05484333048079799,0.0,0.3018107097257093,0.13289799281384246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21386794962430186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16100820425821666,0.0,0.0,0.14057392119313072,0.0,0.0,0.0608389016275016,0.0,0.0,0.18147623923253364,0.06213398640988936,0.0,0.06563618459442265,0.18520227601714356,0.0,0.12950953084307218,0.0,0.2778535944184101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061393598092856,0.0,0.107662981114825,0.0,0.03903807781413516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566971686568562,0.0,0.06074229012701494,0.07312172207022315,0.0,0.20345129465565884,0.0704956990128514,0.0,0.07741855848359162,0.0,0.0460414211622108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169445473793712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.226501179085988,0.05599147182365664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711687339796799,0.0,0.0,0.060788438392978275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06199535578398775,0.06499608533097594,0.0,0.0,0.06900828073576408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07300653917931932,0.0,0.050932722689492095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06870853190861914,0.0,0.1760181466823991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15562463121392014,0.058660836377500074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947398320051513,0.0,0.07165859172209108,0.0,0.0,0.11364206206244486,0.0,0.2062186514701585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723819101612886,0.0,0.0,0.1148557368864386,0.07868409812500783,0.0,0.07863355130740142,0.07513564928827328,0.0,0.06473945877482934,0.0,0.05164628889372988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126909242582856,0.044013742174408864,0.0,0.0,0.16021463362595634,0.1578979705579145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0466359626656484,0.0,0.0,0.07150865359617141,0.0,0.0,0.07565226825087566,0.05667639712620865,0.2430906499960449,0.0,0.055098929309556496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751016700175416,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,peachyjax,2019/02/07,"depressive swing is back i’m on lamictal, lithium, and abilify at the max doses i can possibly (personally) take for these. i find that while my mood swings are now more muted, i’m still having the swings overall and they’re disrupting my life.

i go from depressed > hypo > really hypo > stable > depressed all in the span of 1.5-2 months. 

i’ve just hit the depressive end again, and the hopeless/suicidal thoughts are back, and i feel stuck. my psychiatrist told me to go get a second opinion because he can’t help me anymore, and that’s scheduled for late march. 

i truly don’t know what to do. i know i probably need a medication change, but i’m in school so a hospital trip is out of the question. unless of course my thoughts get even worse. i’m getting really tired of going through this cycle over and over. ",4.235351966873703,5.659420149068326,5.3269720496894415,80.76739389233957,71.11180124223603,8.844927536231882,29.565734989648035,9.2995712137729,2.606589648033126,648,26,125,14,12,214,106,161,0.11599999999999999,0.848,0.036000000000000004,-0.9063,0,0,0,0,0,1,29.0,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,9,0,9,4,0,0,1,20,29,10,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,7,0,0,4,2,4,0,1,4,1,13,0,18,24,2,23,0,4,0,0,5,8,0,2,11,73,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14730878191009622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284315547486231,0.0,0.0905467709928227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571324410886133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5117387704955427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155968583825697,0.0,0.0,0.09810728161530477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510476564511254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576011872414406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232813341348586,0.0,0.2532509849241977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956121398663184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16326409126074304,0.0,0.1675561955709027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491606944574998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14963539146540994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856080902481987,0.0,0.0,0.11013829665997232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129696771130365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16745313916652374,0.0,0.0,0.1601479989204229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16639542411496694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19031319977759775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15032736482001852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862183281979448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624753595346034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168133151338072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23584355809126026,0.0,0.17072142038563168,0.0,0.1419334602346057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15137188361511553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,peakyshelbys,2019/02/07,"scared of mania/mood shift. help/advice? technically, my “unclassified mood disorder” isn’t bipolar but i take mood stabilizers along with my prozac and xanax. but regardless, i feel like i’m losing my mind or i’m about to crawl out of my skin. 
in december i was extremely depressed, and very suicidal. my parents knew this, i’m in college and living at home, trying to get this mental health thing sorted. 

anyway, i went from wanting to die every night to feeling like i’m buzzing out of my skin in like a month? is this mania?

i developed a rash on my face due to stress cause school started up, i can’t sleep, im creatively inspired (writing poetry, enjoying my english classes, having fun writing essays) but cannot focus in math. online algebra takes twice as long bc of videos and i feel like i can’t catch up

as i’m writing this i feel like i’m about to throw up because i just keep seeing all these clues that something hasn’t been right. i don’t know if i should see my psych or wait for this to pass. 

y’all help? i have never felt a mood shift like this before and it’s terrifying",2.930787059391598,4.870174174311927,4.1489570255915025,85.75251327860941,75.60550458715595,7.1582810236600665,24.776436504104296,8.032893268588372,1.4314275229357794,862,29,172,14,19,282,132,218,0.15,0.675,0.174,0.6035,1,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,1,4,16,0,2,3,0,12,9,5,1,2,37,35,13,2,4,7,1,7,6,0,1,4,0,1,0,10,9,0,2,8,1,0,4,7,4,0,1,5,9,23,9,30,29,1,22,0,2,2,0,6,12,0,4,12,94,33,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279471321088683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981611535839754,0.0,0.111415140343286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13450522517436736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277321182020505,0.0,0.1358887593116868,0.0,0.15006164036492356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11031749271690608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26481653947310313,0.3741569354319736,0.12571711687417292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840758025310356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13917665690154593,0.0,0.0,0.1755245218277084,0.0,0.13133741886906647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414311250286633,0.0,0.0,0.11638010311775435,0.0,0.0,0.0719578699442763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38380626007103996,0.0,0.11561706902776077,0.11587241783859265,0.0,0.14648158875882106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13195061688308735,0.0,0.1322059556864472,0.0,0.10451022279811684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098432738593864,0.0,0.0,0.12287263424290977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14538664687523808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181687049687644,0.0,0.0,0.1310877168960931,0.1325121388696411,0.208674798353274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13102850027054622,0.0,0.0,0.10079934490021876,0.0,0.0,0.09267571759658212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14998438742994388,0.0,0.0,0.1432204803917189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19689205792127065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698669264167452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889555144294048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803421412043784,0.07722823098613668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137707539691507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RedLeader75,2019/02/07,"Can't sleep Death
Death
Like how is it to actually pass away
I'll always be alone
I'm not from this world
Death
I don't connect
If a electrical wire never has electricity is it just a wire
I shouldn't have been born
I've always been a mistake
I'm hungry
Death
I wonder what I should eat tomorrow



All running in my mind tonight. But I'm not down. Does this happen to others? I never know if I'm just odd or off. I'm really tired of depression in my life. But I'll always be this way. Which tends to mean I'll be alone. And odd. And never sleeping enough.",-1.1198552631578949,0.9270007250000064,1.4264912280701765,96.08447368421056,100.08333333333334,4.526315789473684,14.649122807017546,6.339386263674448,-0.4956666666666663,437,10,100,6,19,148,70,120,0.15,0.726,0.124,-0.2669,0,2,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,13,5,2,1,4,23,23,8,4,5,9,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,2,1,0,3,0,0,2,8,2,0,0,2,0,7,1,10,16,2,15,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,4,7,58,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.1701228054615047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36111058507892135,0.0,0.0,0.4351743666499959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637905767480882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15015182655940856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15255903729756054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17838507535711268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18013147439727378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541611404121613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580826362100334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12313579014119533,0.08516976987773868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18989856716660905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17602554195229253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4033665699363005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168149146604804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.348915639262436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20036889586377368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383765629812886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890555298750323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ladywithamission,2019/02/07,Ability What can you tell me about it? I was recently prescribed it for the first time and just started taking it this week... what are your experiences? ,2.4239285714285717,5.381797821428576,3.1542857142857166,84.91571428571432,88.64285714285714,7.085714285714286,24.857142857142854,8.07648339933343,2.1154000000000006,121,5,22,3,4,38,25,28,0.0,0.907,0.09300000000000001,0.3939,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,4,0,2,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,19,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41828296353988653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3637233967885583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42221160368923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.302663351677211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32150822089384656,0.0,0.373748496920256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493418352102269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430015808477962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Aloha--Pause,2019/05/05,Going off meds for libido? so my meds have depleted my sex drive..... should I go off my meds just to have normal sex drive BP2 btw,0.33999999999999986,2.4711741111111145,1.905185185185185,97.43333333333337,85.66666666666667,5.0814814814814815,12.703703703703706,6.42735559955562,-0.9587185185185184,99,1,23,1,3,32,19,27,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,4,4,0,6,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,13,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.311015261727125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9118084655572204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680948136592638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,emuhkay,2019/05/05,"*Mild-Moderate* signs or symptoms of psychosis? (Mainly delusions and behaviors) I’m new to my diagnosis (unspecified but I’m pretty sure it’s bp1) and I’m going through my therapy sessions & about to see a psychiatrist for meds. Sometimes, with my episode changes and memory problems associated with bp, I have a hard time answering questions in therapy because I can’t give a straight yes or no answer. & I also feel like I’m never just one way; it changes. I was asked if I deal with psychosis. Although I surely feel my psyche become very disturbed at times, I don’t know if I’ve actually been through it. For example, I was asked if I “hear myself thinking” and I didn’t know how to answer because I wasn’t sure if it’s normal to think you’re hearing that or normal to talk to yourself and also hear your exact voice talking 
(Sorry if that made zero sense, I’m MANIC AF). 

It seems as though if you were having psychosis, you wouldn’t know it. That’s why I’m double checking.",3.3061078939347763,5.386656471502594,4.795160012191406,80.904510819872,74.95854922279794,7.028223102712588,29.487656202377323,7.928766900206844,2.1555433709234992,781,35,143,12,17,261,114,193,0.063,0.812,0.125,0.9083,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,3,0,0,6,6,0,1,3,1,11,1,0,2,5,43,34,21,0,10,11,0,3,1,0,1,1,4,0,0,9,8,0,0,12,0,1,1,7,2,0,2,7,8,19,4,18,26,2,9,0,0,1,0,13,3,0,11,5,87,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.112119082860843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18375992602522925,0.0,0.2489732312439673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148190604963996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14007552321483496,0.1268903918339245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430833110686677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844973143063353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618679747840603,0.08207964685414054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021592163881544,0.06529639107863418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10292164184059932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3884785897161904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18942671357675395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05613096057437102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10871462028837353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12762032282105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861263437569243,0.11096446280883823,0.0,0.0,0.2251416692754805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785453162129273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11688757791309495,0.0,0.1099371710169212,0.0,0.0,0.1287065559483391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155491791924723,0.1045943545648438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11363220437442972,0.12861340844816951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3248561344521226,0.11941791287247745,0.0,0.18469342824145754,0.0,0.0,0.2627805241793057,0.0,0.0,0.1472377065047891,0.11288187813297572,0.0,0.1339901701047969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479883229140196,0.0,0.09119678745486244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367314375504684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Yuriyouree,2019/05/05,"Swings are leveling, but still struggling. I’ve been on Lamictal since June and I feel like a completely new person, but I still find myself becoming depressed and isolating every now and then. My cycle is mostly lows. Its a lot better than what it used to be, but I’m curious if it could be better? OR if anyone has any suggestions to help manage the lows, because they’re taking a toll that I can’t handle anymore.",2.879537037037037,5.304534777777782,4.38344135802469,81.66923611111113,77.76543209876544,7.50679012345679,23.70524691358025,8.472884824447931,1.8696283950617285,331,11,59,7,8,110,64,81,0.136,0.674,0.19,0.7096,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,3,7,0,1,4,0,8,0,0,1,0,15,12,10,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,5,3,4,8,2,10,0,3,0,0,3,4,0,5,7,41,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15134187421324566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207101528987992,0.15561238404077204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13566463187860187,0.2457893842120988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3936554104854432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233339814926082,0.0,0.0,0.1776883508319268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19168229622122354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18750827413745835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11252814729727363,0.15899001937853646,0.0,0.0,0.20340699429211234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14917081301500812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872686288860324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18920435489070184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21494052141400147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19432238740616112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18409595493188846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3554580048699492,0.0,0.0,0.2326579538092753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16733017159359415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19221205338463784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Stellaeono,2019/09/20,"Don’t you just hate it when you see happy people Why the fuck are they so happy? I saw a lot of tourists today, they came down from a giant cruise, probably from Europe or America. They are having a good life, enjoying a relaxing luxurious trip. The food on the ship is free, you can eat as much you want, if I do so, I will throw up all day and eat and eat. I hate to see them happy because I’m not, my life is a mess. To day I throw up three times, my head hurts, there was blood in my vomit, my throat is burning. I want to take that ship to go back home or just travel to somewhere that happiness exist. I want to cut myself, see blood coming out, but I’m not supposed to do it. My life is fucked",2.8375999999999983,3.1589802266666718,4.419999999999998,90.09000000000003,73.4,7.6,22.33333333333333,7.554174236665415,0.5895333333333328,534,11,127,6,10,180,90,150,0.11699999999999999,0.747,0.135,-0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,4,4,0,7,15,5,0,8,0,13,14,4,0,1,18,30,10,0,4,8,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,0,4,5,4,0,0,3,1,8,3,7,0,1,3,4,21,9,17,26,3,21,0,1,4,2,8,7,2,4,6,82,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603963660440702,0.0,0.07613728314744198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428512050753901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758944616941804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16109907015608216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3834086347285304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15102839041209054,0.0,0.0,0.2309342622609519,0.0,0.0,0.07098299120304209,0.10475937194304227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5318293158975738,0.0,0.2466238480891778,0.12818242759559373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528390041768955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13370698382781734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646596139825108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618468013043436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09181515055588196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658925401714404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346622679705164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985850439466481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939085189508482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728296228070945,0.0,0.1183896666307173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22100603354967352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11270193849295565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CuriousBetsy69,2019/09/20,"Will medication help me? My psychologist was telling me I might be bi polar. Most of the time I feel sluggish and unmotivated but randomly I’ll get pretty wiry and manic and kinda act like an idiot. Most of the time I can’t stick to anything tho and feel like I don’t care about anything. He was suggesting I try a mood stabilizer.

I think my situation is not very severe but I feel pretty numb and can’t focus on anything most of the time. So if I do have bipolar it’s probably pretty mil and though I do function it’s not great

Would mood stabilizers help with this? Does this sound like bi polar?

I binge put on things and act on impulse. It’s hard for me to set goals and complete anything and my mind constantly switches back and forth I can’t decide on anything but I’ve never had any extreme episodes and it’s very random . What should I do?",3.1968687707641195,4.865925680232556,4.568870431893688,84.1882558139535,74.17441860465118,7.239867109634551,26.239202657807308,7.957251820313856,1.50934584717608,675,24,137,10,14,224,98,172,0.09300000000000001,0.718,0.19,0.9639,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,5,9,1,0,5,0,17,5,0,0,1,34,23,18,0,3,6,0,4,3,0,4,3,1,0,0,8,12,0,0,5,0,0,3,7,2,0,0,3,5,18,5,12,15,3,14,0,0,0,2,5,4,0,8,9,85,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912708259131022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5392668853173522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077907230086892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13362708594483524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13741667377169156,0.14163214195873972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11469379055117998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19880761085090595,0.09363116891481332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06847481465858342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14449701204336096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740637297443425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17569703614305993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19209174206959465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13203181103290434,0.0,0.13903673855939572,0.13233589433942375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108357985458984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4000134371096764,0.14130768211774875,0.0,0.0,0.1317541426876378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14806346617667154,0.0,0.0,0.14731988720120198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145545152621742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707218753190135,0.0839796410971289,0.12876836833462632,0.0,0.22927102023783755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898292245546505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21628079114367085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310313183751846,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Heretwo4,2019/09/20,"Diagnosed Bipolar: All my life my empathy for other people will fluctuate wildly, from absolutely no emotion for others’ pain to huge rushes of compassion for complete strangers. It’s debilitating and I’ve never found info or people like me. Does anyone at all experience something like this? There are moments where I can’t find an ounce of emotion for others; I don’t feel hatred or wish any ill-will, I simply am completely detached. And then there are times where I would gladly take a bullet for my worst enemy. 

  I’m diagnosed and medicated for manic depressive disorder and I’ve noticed that my empathy manifests mostly when I’m very happy, and vica-versa. It comes and goes as quickly and intensely as you would expect moods to swing from a bipolar person. 

I’m taking Lamotragine for bipolar; could that be the cause?

  Does anyone else have this problem? Is there any research at all discussing a possible correlation to the disorder? I can find zero places talking about spikes and dips in empathy at all, even unrelated to bipolar disorder. And I know no one who shares changes in empathy like this. 

  It’s like a massive rush of sympathy and emotion, like what you’d expect from a mania high. The lows have the same empty feeling of depression but I don’t feel sad or hopeless, only distanced and detached. This has been going on all my life.

  Really not sure what to do about this. I have every desire to feel empathy and I hate the disregard and callousness I display when I’m low. Even when I’m unfeeling and don’t care, I know from an intellectual standpoint that a life without empathy for me is so shallow in comparison to that ‘full’ feeling I get when I start to love other people. This removal of empathy extends to the world in general, friends, and everyone in my life no matter how close or intimidate. Again, it’s not backed by anger or a desire to do harm, just a complete detachment and this cold logical approach to human interaction that sees people as tools to utilize.

Is there any research at all, or people with similar experiences at all? I’m at a complete loss.",5.5819608190763255,7.341815555269925,6.628525839907807,71.4307969151671,68.25449871465295,9.7871110717135,33.46520698519634,10.085429814115964,3.804110114351564,1677,78,274,43,29,560,196,389,0.16,0.705,0.136,-0.8507,0,0,1,0,0,1,39.0,0,2,0,1,20,26,2,0,17,0,24,13,0,2,9,67,49,33,0,9,11,0,5,5,1,3,12,0,0,2,23,19,0,1,12,0,0,6,11,13,0,2,2,7,23,12,49,41,11,40,0,7,1,1,11,22,0,7,17,196,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756639916235473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041387606156645,0.08822521682041781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06620978194946829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779025268794935,0.08845402383221278,0.09108815700277036,0.07417222745524575,0.3611197364263283,0.0,0.0,0.06874820145758373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14832500898084924,0.17479045399002938,0.0,0.0,0.29605294283398803,0.0,0.15070293246361105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07193006104397634,0.29057115108863363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11374368537748725,0.0,0.0725475617563648,0.08227745473963173,0.0,0.1684553198200869,0.0,0.0,0.21768753280171727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15739765669504005,0.0,0.0,0.09441018993955673,0.06652486297584129,0.0,0.04498654774316644,0.0,0.04893571587565526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166086077812544,0.0,0.08501131294771039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097514351022913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464261532910698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24327532467719196,0.21033388623171687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771353729811185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674218981480568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06640983716205882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803163422184992,0.0,0.0,0.058347286520991776,0.06548708059279007,0.09162227781098307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984734131834039,0.07518396436553011,0.08996187661728916,0.0,0.0,0.09707096590197624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239129416170347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05516136101794973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861490162480413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628818802033072,0.0,0.0,0.06094588609720195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115337480580638,0.0,0.12948117637187848,0.06920830523114528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05020878478936766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104602024282312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09901702684762224,0.08300258848079567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223336932368556,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BeatnikMona,2019/09/20,"[x-post from r/OCD] I feel like my clients and coworkers hate me and I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m a hairstylist and I have bipolar disorder as well as OCD. 

When I’m having a manic episode, I am hyper focused on whatever it is I’m doing, and because of that I’ve had times where it’s taken me way too long to complete a task, but whatever it is I’m doing is immaculate (ex: it’s taken me over four hours just to do a full highlight because I go in really small sections, when it should only take me an 60-90 minutes depending on the density of someone’s hair).  Some of my regular and supportive clients know this about me, some love how their highlights look, so they don’t care and being their phone charger and some snacks, while others remind me to set a timer while I’m doing it). I’m also constantly expecting an audit or the DBPR to come in and I’m afraid that if anything is out of place or a violation, so I over-sanitize things (I’ve ruined things with barbicide) and I rearrange everything; I constantly think that everyone will collaborate and say that I did it. 

Everyone mistakes my manic episodes for OCD (because of course they would, it’s textbook tv OCD) and for the last few weeks I can’t stop thinking about how much of a freak I am and how everyone hates me. My therapist just told me to write down positive affirmations and tell myself that the only person hating me right now is myself. Now it’s just making me hate myself. 

Is there anyone else in my profession who suffers through this? Can anyone give me any advice on what to do or constructive criticism?",7.22384523809524,6.178421644444448,7.858918650793651,73.7836160714286,64.30158730158729,11.557539682539685,35.87797619047619,10.820120047756994,3.7858928571428567,1258,51,242,29,16,421,169,315,0.14,0.779,0.081,-0.966,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,4,0,20,15,5,1,13,0,25,4,1,5,0,45,53,30,0,5,8,1,2,1,0,3,1,1,0,1,22,16,1,2,6,1,1,2,3,10,1,1,5,4,34,5,31,44,7,34,0,2,1,1,14,15,0,8,16,170,56,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133068975300634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272672758591152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885129796371962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16215259028118706,0.1188064690172054,0.09541857002345408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21204968618913256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822073452325794,0.0,0.0,0.0998823325199172,0.12157340702422308,0.25060571718785896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13289097323067786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686297043873217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323911540133391,0.1042101304869202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05862878676486007,0.08283609183807315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123167017415392,0.0658981617902956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4579141556950735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418930792885973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06372415592183968,0.09451631011852996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05664826279480158,0.0,0.0,0.1026138214917292,0.09737042957112574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465115636971507,0.0,0.07739882288590784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523802031426025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17637335654977876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124476487448916,0.12114510218566105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104991010825066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428178433458102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902232647732624,0.0,0.09220963970122197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824570572606496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19388203404691204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158089176181398,0.0,0.0,0.08718143136020481,0.0,0.1013471096933206,0.0,0.0,0.13462914377806368,0.15406663841816867,0.22289197100954708,0.0,0.0,0.06761251090616807,0.0,0.0,0.11079705133777967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09203725589088764,0.0930096552243284,0.0,0.1042547227688266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236893407067948,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwaway00160,2019/09/20,"Lamotrigine+Narcissism Does anyone else who takes Lamictal find that you’re a bit narcissistic? Like, out of character. I feel like I’m seeing these traits in myself that I never saw before...perhaps it’s just hypomania, but it’s kinda unsettling...anyone else experience this too?",5.040624999999999,8.552575145833337,6.459166666666667,63.0025,78.79166666666666,9.033333333333337,24.66666666666667,9.2995712137729,3.198016666666668,229,8,33,7,6,77,40,48,0.0,0.9059999999999999,0.094,0.4329,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,5,1,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,3,2,3,4,1,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,1,3,18,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3473154945947581,0.5089444143471678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27114270409701297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21733983340390864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4149426219773295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429418628236729,0.0,0.0,0.12557730985004478,0.17742706519301968,0.0,0.0,0.2269947898493993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426704300732101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19154906555873027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19790923831905347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867343710010503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sadboiiaccount,2019/09/20,"Am I having a hypomanic episode Hey guys, I’ve lurked on here for a while so I figured I’d make a separate account for this private stuff. A few years back I was told by a psychiatrist that I could possibly have bipolar type 2, but she was sure on anxiety and depression. I brushed off the bipolar disorder, mainly because I’m not a fan of labels and the stigma that goes along with it. However looking back on my very recent actions, I think that I may be in a hypomanic episode. 
I haven’t brought this up with anyone, and just have been considering it for the last day so I figured that this might be a good place to get some insight on changes I’ve noticed. 


1. I’m much more forgetful than normal, forgetting classes, taking my antidepressants, appointments, and important dates, than I normally am. I’m usually regimented and although occasionally forgetful, not to this degree. 


2. My sleep schedule is completely messed up. I can be up from 10 am to 5 am, then sleep in til noon, then be up all night again. The last two weeks have been completely off, cycling between random naps and disturbed sleep. 


3. My sex drive, and sexual risks have been off the charts. I’ve hooked up with many new partners in the last couple weeks, and I could only describe my sex drive as insatiable. 


4. I’ve been very scatter brained. My thoughts are all over the place, as I said I’ve been increasingly distracted, and keeping on top of tasks and deadlines has been nearly impossible. 

5. I am also noticing how interested I am in trips and vacations. My fam just planned a 2 week vacation this winter over Christmas break. I just went to a casino for a weekend with friends, planned a bar crawl for this weekend, another casino trip next month, am trying to set up a weekend trip with other friends next month to go to an undecided place, and am planning another trip to the Caribbean after I get back from my 2 week trip in December/January with friends from college. 

I’m known to be impulsive, frivolous, and distracted my whole life. But I feel like I’ve never been so to this degree, and am worried I might be in or heading toward a hypomanic episode. I don’t want to bring it up to any healthcare professionals or family yet, because it might just be from the antidepressants leveling out, or from an insane amount of stress from recent family issues and college starting again. Does anyone have any insight into a hypomanic episode? Or how to go about talking to someone about one? 99% of the time I am completely fine mood wise, and every now and then I’ll have a brief week or two of an extra elevated mood that I think could be hypomanic, but never to this degree. My main concern is that if I bring it up to my psychiatrist, she’ll recommend mood stabilizers that will change the 99% normal aspect of me as well. I haven’t looked into them much, but from second hand observations of family members taking them, I noticed a complete transformation in their personality. Sorry if this is kinda all over the place, I also crammed a paper in tonight and pulled an all nighter.",6.634165232358004,7.089939438898455,7.1318485370051645,73.49718760757318,65.11015490533563,10.495421686746988,35.704991394148024,10.355215969177356,3.755821204819278,2438,111,442,56,35,800,265,581,0.084,0.831,0.085,0.4085,1,0,0,0,0,0,67.0,0,0,3,4,22,20,0,5,34,0,52,12,6,3,7,82,78,45,0,9,17,0,2,1,4,6,3,1,0,3,23,28,1,1,9,7,3,17,7,7,1,4,14,6,43,10,85,47,15,101,0,1,2,2,15,38,0,14,45,311,66,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193587560812376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951860300713022,0.14677326306317956,0.053539250434317134,0.0,0.0,0.09787195476316878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614452003984431,0.0,0.08532587426143122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07812774355940055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807223674250658,0.0,0.2935167911174477,0.0,0.0,0.16763485446641435,0.07743839768754104,0.0,0.04513530833885943,0.0,0.060279010376669336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802102470143233,0.0,0.06124539409899112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05896639087314803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19793027852760806,0.0,0.035387124905741266,0.04999815432534723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16221349049013015,0.0,0.07312980047945881,0.0,0.07954953909193356,0.05870110298530432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06929733991385187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07182603087088292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304740844316518,0.0,0.062206949063909424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171144278588357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04943332186987235,0.034191721538648544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754156084377003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046716331074798466,0.07095502069959543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227328909364652,0.0,0.0,0.11172463216813358,0.0,0.10289581749921917,0.0,0.10795534187822692,0.06759310680276978,0.14886223255784006,0.06567730647190846,0.20571484570661094,0.0,0.2390392532090273,0.0,0.0,0.04742445948684849,0.05322765779977466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06110924919929143,0.2924827272961569,0.0,0.0,0.07889892339914206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382058560094661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657290162884298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21011022564578366,0.0,0.05929907903304465,0.0,0.0,0.07834381957475625,0.04953659164710215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016895413639506,0.0,0.08011745344440023,0.0,0.0,0.06596116400913271,0.0,0.10524182304430596,0.05625225547390381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968866039858292,0.0,0.05556122422261349,0.04080951526804246,0.0,0.0,0.06687481203734907,0.0,0.047516034893214674,0.0,0.1367326934480823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707991027720892,0.11549188692760867,0.041279673265021716,0.0,0.28069353541833386,0.0,0.06292599762349352,0.064877907343857,0.0,0.07813709148193339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107438197679576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04506881736627589
bipolarreddit,subflowerdreamz,2019/09/20,"Newly diagnosed Hey, so I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 and I have no idea what that means . I can’t wrap my head around this diagnosis. I think that I’ve been searching for this diagnosis all of my life to explain the way I am but I was also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, which I have no clue about either. Can someone help me out with a bit of information?",3.011409001956949,5.3647389863013695,5.126457925636012,76.88287671232878,76.94520547945207,9.102935420743641,28.23679060665361,9.606745405546679,3.0107119373776907,298,13,57,9,7,103,54,73,0.114,0.835,0.051,-0.5267,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,8,6,1,0,1,14,11,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,6,6,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,10,0,10,8,3,3,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,44,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779644938736418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19810704237263368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24295513653555664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6776177195101649,0.0,0.0,0.25504916874653644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283893910052473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14916331474827246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512196354055909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571859970589481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424103957583888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943126195362673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885567166014643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14259411441884814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17664123482590452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheGreatFadoodler,2019/01/15,Treatment for bipolar depression Ive been diagnosed with bipolar. I struggle with psychosis primarily in the form of delusions. They tell me this is mania even though i dont experience the typical symptoms like endless energy. Well ive been put on a latuda (an antipsychotic) and depercote to combat the delusions. My problem is im horridly depressed now. I spoke to my doctor about what we can do for depression and he said whatever treatment we pick its going to be a long time till it works. My question is what treatments have been effective for managing your bipolar depression? This is a long battle thats starting to feel unsurmountable. Any input would be greatly appreciated. ,7.012718089990816,9.113835157024797,7.499614325068872,65.24012855831039,65.19834710743802,10.667033976124886,39.890725436179984,10.746095033038511,5.172663177226814,558,32,81,16,9,183,85,121,0.19699999999999998,0.705,0.098,-0.9247,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,2,1,1,2,5,10,1,1,7,0,16,6,0,2,0,12,21,4,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,6,2,0,0,7,6,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,7,1,0,5,3,13,3,14,13,1,10,0,4,0,0,9,2,0,1,7,62,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11631567099276435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.589279206916392,0.1736058888712074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17507060963393584,0.0,0.0,0.200462097046162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297283777620967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16731368827566484,0.0,0.0,0.08648490066941078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972081513401939,0.0,0.0,0.1885764284391798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847566896539603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356337647838727,0.0,0.0,0.3027368174822926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636658470949172,0.0,0.17194629362055638,0.19160823687842604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16270185272132195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106570453271615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17881215063451986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17778003279321042,0.0,0.0,0.14949984808848413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16804969634387878,0.0,0.09973703384280416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15378894636078427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12452194670027825,0.0,0.0,0.12150463065044395,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thegratefuldab,2019/01/15,Imo r/bipolar has become too mainstream How many people on r/bipolar actually have that condition? Seems like a good percentage of the posts on there are just people complaining about stuff everyone will go through at some point. Seems like some are self diagnosed and are just trying to fit into the whole “being bipolar is cool” fad. It’s not fun or cool when you hurt people are actually permanently damage your future and loose friends. I can get the humor appeal of that sub but I mean come on. This disease isn’t something that should be taken lightly. Even one of my coping mechanisms is humor but half the stuff in there is just dumb shit.,4.311322314049587,6.7782244297520675,4.595867768595042,81.70471074380167,73.29752066115702,7.375206611570247,25.876033057851238,8.296473431620573,1.8736214876033064,520,18,91,9,11,163,88,121,0.139,0.725,0.136,-0.6543,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,0,10,14,2,0,5,2,15,3,1,1,0,18,22,7,0,1,7,0,0,2,1,2,2,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,5,0,2,1,3,5,9,12,17,3,13,0,2,0,0,5,8,2,5,4,64,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.3349289427775181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895273476251561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14782493625733334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741783185293774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334534243795365,0.0,0.0,0.16397862002513586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13258377112734362,0.0,0.0896579997760434,0.0,0.09752867519571982,0.1439364922043847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837097137797668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16767781899887801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739833881204255,0.0,0.18693121760935755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628589576817365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3569137516192385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162224852437928,0.0,0.16435284868684166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31245061679981545,0.17902437590090511,0.0,0.17615295463179986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13211207893995225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3928997796181796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651044082941105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19159399546169006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thatwombat,2019/06/20,"Sensitivity to drugs I was diagnosed with cyclothymia a while back and later bipolar I, I’ve been doing the hokey pokey with various antipsychotics. The primary issue I’ve run into is that the drugs I’ve tried all have side effects at below therapeutic concentrations. I don’t remember the dose but After i had started seroquel we raised the dose one tick and it was enough to make it unsafe to drive. Later we tried Latuda, 20 mg caused nausea and occasionally akathisia. 60 mg caused guaranteed akathisia and nausea. This one was also tricky to take since it required food an in order to avoid the side effects I would take it before bed. Fourth meal, anyone?

Now I’m on lithium 450 mg 2x daily and I have a tremor. Next week I’m supposed to get my blood work done so we’ll see where I’m at, could be too high.

I’m scared to try another antipsychotic because of the akathisia risk but as I type this with my thumbs I have to correct every other word. Beta blockers definitely help the tremor.

Am I being too picky? Is this just how things work out in this world? Or do I just have an exceptionally low threshold?",3.208163898117384,5.676472097674424,4.099601328903656,83.90565891472869,76.86046511627906,6.6998892580287945,24.19158361018826,7.793537801064563,1.3514141749723143,891,30,168,14,21,286,135,215,0.07200000000000001,0.894,0.034,-0.7992,0,1,2,0,0,0,18.0,3,0,0,5,10,4,0,3,12,0,21,9,1,6,2,33,31,13,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,1,0,11,12,2,3,3,0,0,2,1,4,0,2,6,1,15,0,23,20,3,26,0,1,1,0,4,14,0,1,9,105,26,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12638591684912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657205370521152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11050645442631404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152433740832652,0.0,0.09634077359824636,0.0,0.13448187453162042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3247047889544154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12618346389546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16040903232886636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16173156386362372,0.0,0.0,0.3665564708981024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16329935749496716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331569764081164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19110469097540456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257028260489918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10593204231007823,0.16697976809749632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16495450880935542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10549408404836627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16807917608020306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21418633698110973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17903047519061105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15822734542127526,0.0,0.12593879953653575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13073375476606802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11186275211385567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376554294870255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10499590495254664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3218998878985609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12677154535035384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23011252790758385,0.0,0.0,0.11226831274469816,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,boner4foner,2019/06/20,"Pls help me internet friends Hello everyone, I've been having a difficult time with my mental illness and I guess it would be cool if I felt less alone. I found this subreddit because bipolar disorder is the only thing I'm sure I have since it's the only thing I've been diagnosed with in the short time I went to therapy. I'm not sure if I have other mental illnesses in addition to bipolar disorder but I when I was younger I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 I think. My insurance stopped covering my meds after a very short time of being on them and I havent been able to afford therapy or meds in a long time. I need help though. I think I've been going through a manic phase and I'm scared. 

I'm a large nearly 6 foot tall woman, about 180 pound athletic build and I have a tendency to become physically violent now. This is new and terrifying to me. When I was a teen I would get angry and yell and scream in arguments because I couldnt calm down, and theres no doubt I've punched a hole in my wall before. The last couple months of my life have seen me become a lot more aggressive and to be honest I'm getting scared of myself. Over the last few months I've broken a lot of things by throwing them, I've cracked my windshield by punching it, I fractured my hand from punching a recliner, I've had big bumps on my head from hitting it on things when I'm mad or confused... and I could go on but I feel so much shame. When I fractured my hand a couple days ago that's when I started getting really nervous about myself. I never want to experience that pain (fractured my 4th matacarpal clean in fucking half) or shame again and I cant help but cry because I dont feel like I have enough control of myself to guarentee that I wont physically hurt myself when I lash out. This is affecting my life, my relationship, my job, just about everything at this point and I'm scared.

I'm not normally this violent and I'm scared. People tell me I'm very empathetic and compassionate. I cry when animals get hurt. I have a fucking tattoo that says kindness for God's sake. My girlfriend tells me that I'm so sweet and kind except for when I somehow slip into these funky moods. Everytime I physically lash out in violence I go through immense shame and guilt afterwards where I cry and apologize for actual days because I dont like that I cant control myself. I just want to take a moment to clarify that I have never hurt my girlfriend, who I live with. She is so small compared to me and she's so brave in the way that she doesnt seem to be scared by my size and strength (even though I'm scared of myself at this point). I don't know what I would do if I even laid a finger on her... I dont even want to think about what I would do to myself. I'm so grateful that she sees through my aggression and still loves me for who I know I am. She helps me more than anyone else ever has, but I know it's not her job and she has to be getting tired of this too.

I guess what I'm looking for is advice, coping mechanisms, or really even just someone who relates. I feel so alone. No one seems to care when a man breaks his hand from punching something, but being a violent woman feels so isolated and alone. I'm very honest and I dont lie about my injuries, but I feel so much shame when people look at me like a freak when I explain what happened. I want to remain calm so badly and to be honest I'm still trying to figure out why I get so violent so quickly. Yes I've had a history of having a short temper but I've never been so physically violent. I'm sorry if this was rambley... I just feel all over the place as of right now. Thanks for listening internet void.",3.562819831783976,4.573880742363882,4.9548406374502,84.37541279327138,72.25365205843295,8.340061974324923,27.490261177512174,8.735056554316923,1.9310529437804345,2881,102,603,52,54,964,291,753,0.214,0.635,0.151,-0.9936,4,3,1,0,0,2,61.0,0,0,2,3,49,55,11,14,27,2,53,20,6,3,7,104,118,65,0,16,23,0,11,3,3,5,11,4,1,3,35,33,0,3,18,0,0,5,19,33,0,2,15,21,100,21,80,88,10,82,0,3,4,3,34,36,2,17,42,398,135,2,0.056444878111595674,0.0,0.055082058765361916,0.0,0.0,0.0551572816221815,0.0500349787568668,0.0,0.0,0.1753796125171375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039467571184413484,0.057834447972421786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047129115519048574,0.13763309517764538,0.12467786645081512,0.04803043391125414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05754931508869851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12661546081511915,0.04506664221057528,0.12491036806348114,0.18600614447490466,0.07280455362744044,0.0,0.0,0.11458072625583902,0.0,0.0,0.12938144094158888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646119070690944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04715245281367473,0.0,0.0,0.05832264775628255,0.0,0.1491252385935399,0.05105762378219608,0.0,0.05393549992774034,0.05072901685995111,0.055213921716074456,0.0,0.0,0.17124135811228253,0.040324232201143874,0.05419593472604952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06188889543042887,0.04360917281144474,0.10436476054704344,0.17694071482126894,0.0,0.09623677501063906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12436079378349853,0.0,0.04991401930201142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0579287292902266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15133524796494616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18127622831759949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202566387637344,0.0,0.0,0.11755730916272705,0.09306188654713092,0.09202021851695268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07973737336716269,0.08272834891321205,0.0,0.049841861490644436,0.04995194091203356,0.09479896321585156,0.0,0.0,0.09597483376507186,0.05094370625089074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539506999015212,0.0,0.11376632231894425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09010752638625363,0.0,0.08298696008587554,0.041853161909294605,0.1306013091480631,0.05451481501047741,0.0,0.0,0.05530399616698422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03824851021334452,0.08585774661497904,0.06006132997054595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07826354281925346,0.0,0.058972883946712386,0.0,0.10671730882480088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07232006854399206,0.0,0.0,0.06060067518591336,0.0,0.0482036174977284,0.0,0.044887232605859015,0.3390670192698497,0.0,0.044979259911937054,0.10277059422286662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04669178645918801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04782556205340222,0.043454024817547336,0.0,0.06318541983569614,0.03995197524758067,0.0,0.09015390514548352,0.04719044553562813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063972592449703,0.0,0.042439523688165816,0.0,0.0986706227564905,0.05196686015661712,0.12909927468102994,0.0,0.14999787566434805,0.10850279624887567,0.11091361231668644,0.0,0.13165384937822835,0.06487508401227518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03832236709866462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13971880748374407,0.13317060618633358,0.04480331695216995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05232496750648442,0.05093272305654648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160387287711233,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,petsovnds,2019/06/20,"I just came back from a 2 weeks internation because I'm a idiot and I fucked up my medication and had a lot of crises and suicide thoughts First of all, I'm not a native english speaker and it's been a long time since I was practicing it, but here we go.

Since January, I started a treatment for bipolar disorder after a lot of misdiagnosis with just depression, in a first moment my Doctor only gave me an humor stabilizer ('cause in other times when I was younger, I've already tried the stupid idea w/a lot of medicines) and just when the stabilizer works, she will combine it to an antidepressant, since my depressives episodes are too long (the last was during more than a year). In the first moment I took it right, take the exams to see the dosage in my body and she prescribed a higher dose and then, weeks later, I have seen myself in some crises and stopped to take my meds right, I avoid to return to her util I have a lot of huge crises and suicide thoughts (and almost acts), then she, my boyfriend and my mother decided to take me to an hospital and let me in for some between 10 and 20 days.
I was off yesterday and I'm feeling so much better, the meds that prescribed me there makes me feel now that all of the confusing and the storm in my head and that was making me sad and angry and isolated from everyone started a progress to go away for a while but still I am so afraid to fuck up the things again.  I believe that someone feels or had already passing through this and just wanted to talk about.
Thank you so much for listening to me.",4.629958391123441,5.5365561844660185,5.11815071659732,84.57572815533982,69.67961165048544,8.215811373092926,29.60101710587148,8.418075326091056,1.9870085067036518,1227,46,251,18,21,392,163,309,0.166,0.778,0.055999999999999994,-0.9898,0,1,0,0,0,2,27.0,1,1,0,6,17,13,4,3,26,0,14,8,2,3,2,53,41,30,2,1,8,1,3,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,11,22,0,2,7,0,0,6,1,10,0,3,14,7,34,3,40,25,11,50,0,3,2,2,10,14,2,9,30,181,45,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126744028566934,0.0,0.223199718613956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950152956562105,0.07776299905699398,0.0,0.06164812453408355,0.0,0.0,0.11393927665532134,0.0,0.08944157896229897,0.0,0.11233302398286256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11566618240471632,0.0,0.10388873017436244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06522071138311224,0.0,0.17420684971156336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159041460670681,0.10351120156098777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663438614271452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15340363531991874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580642798117515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869867635213641,0.0,0.0,0.11494942032572167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037889182910752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416385891420636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243473538780198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341263773905388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17899436004629776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3439096386781317,0.0,0.0,0.135010591842313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246660479657251,0.10187819120018256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14868489133302654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769141905688351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17272953779947847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058779795435088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509682191748646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856874199210644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14316116874456608,0.0,0.08076283054550437,0.08454950342995142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22124038413480665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22811231889699,0.08128474699604295,0.0,0.09310724175592852,0.0,0.0,0.06718651285774206,0.0,0.0,0.16057240783245444,0.11793984421239333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123595432572448,0.06866087131994006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059649302399674066,0.0,0.16224133818412872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362410144461268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512463164660316
bipolarreddit,specialthrowaway83,2019/06/20,"Having some serious issues despite already being medicated with a mood stabilizer and an antipsychotic I keep having bouts of either exhaustion or full blown breakdowns, they're usually motivated by severe paranoia or severe feelings of dread. 

I'm getting to a point where I'm doing not so great things in the middle of the breakdowns, last night I wanted to die and I felt like the only way to stop it was to either self medicate through liquor(which I couldn't get ahold of at the time) or to make myself pass out through the use of my antipsys. 

I got extremely angry, began smashing my head against my dresser, then the suicidal ideation began and I started hurting myself, afterwards to stop myself from getting any worse is when I took the medication. 

I don't know how to handle myself anymore. 

It's like there's this switch that gets flipped and I start to feel like a rat in a corner and my only response at the time is to flip out and get myself into trouble. 

This is effecting my job, I have multiple callouts either from me being too exhausted to come in next day or me kind of being able to tell when a storm's gonna hit. 

I just don't know what's happening or going on, I dont understand why my symptoms are getting worse.",10.069456066945603,7.366306426778243,9.826397489539753,67.18068410041843,60.0460251046025,12.572552301255227,41.47322175732218,10.793553405168565,4.463297573221757,992,42,175,18,10,326,144,239,0.196,0.762,0.042,-0.9883,1,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,0,2,8,12,0,1,14,0,16,7,1,5,0,38,45,16,2,2,10,0,3,3,0,1,6,0,1,1,7,11,0,3,8,0,0,4,5,6,0,0,6,3,25,5,33,33,5,36,0,1,0,0,2,14,0,6,20,121,32,2,0.11661091748951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12868304716382986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929942265161465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11564669586133985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004499799809306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07520439480022523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102372186455936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13666712682490967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792396729746145,0.08330686275446897,0.11196476782377753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3655463487008427,0.0,0.06627267170893664,0.0,0.09326440332640436,0.12856394820488742,0.0,0.0,0.10311864922250463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967644359474748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483439897688173,0.0,0.0,0.1217115013915494,0.11571834224859193,0.10364914141268863,0.0,0.1214323259938744,0.12817262122656328,0.09505346160578064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17091061212124656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07783869292286208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3524196938398569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401703367210948,0.10943144662371453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17737571487992618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023500900708756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165061883767532,0.2634742895702432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16507561518434727,0.0,0.0,0.19498389702494065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12755341701574624,0.0,0.0,0.1212033927944558,0.0,0.0,0.10192308172007508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774711120294888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359935274965816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12955902000294325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213960776114644,0.0,0.10071439209617697,0.12843045094836375,0.0,0.06878014042000549,0.09256031851174387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522321536633583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23767297454240366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Domidoggy8,2019/06/20,"Inability to decide on marriage since diagnosis? My fiance and I have been together for 5 years and have been engaged for a year. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II in March. I find that lately, I've been waffling back and forth on whether we should get married. I don't know that I'm being rational though.

I never questioned getting married before I began to have symptoms of BP. I wasn't questioning whether we should get married until wedding planning started getting into full swing. I can't tell if it's my irritability with having to plan a wedding, never having the energy to keep the place clean and clutter free, etc. or if it's rational to be questioning whether we should be getting married. 

Has anyone been through this and have any words of wisdom?",5.969436619718309,7.456914394366198,6.401521126760564,74.45861971830986,67.02816901408451,8.496901408450704,36.030985915492955,8.841846274778883,3.390578028169015,612,31,100,10,10,198,87,142,0.05,0.831,0.11900000000000001,0.8143,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,3,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,4,0,21,3,0,0,2,30,31,13,0,5,6,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,5,11,0,1,6,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,7,0,13,4,17,18,2,16,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,6,10,77,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497391375822863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11821820573733985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13000497750482976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438667632027158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160326140611334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885585880477476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545276106902805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4416624670229163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15027785887233394,0.0,0.0,0.0929168675275906,0.0,0.19071918028103654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26079558434257005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17664295820893985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5681938309996977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13985707891891028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11966915337564082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17572925456943067,0.0,0.0,0.14777529540334167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16611116223315728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177520511013648
bipolarreddit,muckitymucker,2019/05/03,"Podcast Help I'm a physician assistant with anxiety and bipolar, I started a podcast called Diagnosis Explained to help people understand their diagnosis. I recorded a few episodes on bipolar and want to know what you guys think. All feedback welcome, I truly want to help others and want to make this podcast the best it can be.

​

iTunes: [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/diagnosis-explained/id1458994414](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/diagnosis-explained/id1458994414)

​

Not-iTunes: [https://player.whooshkaa.com/diagnosis-explained](https://player.whooshkaa.com/diagnosis-explained)

​

Most podcast apps: search ""Diagnosis Explained""",22.78497716894977,29.369994095890426,13.563219178082194,19.49131278538817,32.698630136986296,9.250228310502283,46.413242009132425,9.725611199111238,5.661047488584473,591,25,46,8,6,151,49,73,0.022000000000000002,0.698,0.28,0.9545,0,0,0,0,0,0,65.0,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,4,0,2,3,0,1,1,15,13,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,6,12,4,2,0,0,0,0,10,1,0,1,1,28,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4303959690553216,0.4826750468371925,0.0,0.0,0.10129268273824237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13895529622124106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13520460699070827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13110593460977474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662533058971678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276863866268651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838417542022893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917958738939544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371991988941976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484247490648954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378426566023185,0.3185439514813072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23429514684942454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4826750468371925,0.0
bipolarreddit,Boxhouse62,2019/05/03,"Agitation making it hard to talk? I don’t know if I’m hypo/manic or mixed or what is going on, but I’m definitely “up”. I don’t really know when it started either which is weird for me, I’ve been able to recognize episodes before. But something is definitely off and I’m wondering if anyone else had experienced this. 

Besides the normal mania symptoms, I’m very paranoid about what others think of me which is incredibly unusual for me. I’ve been pretty confident and anxiety free my whole life. It’s making me scared to talk to anyone because I’m so worried about what they’re thinking about me and that there’s this grand conspiracy that everyone knows all my secrets and are just being nice to my face. This combined with the manic feeling of needing to talk is a very bad combination because I feel like I have all these things to say bubbling up inside but then I’m too paranoid to actually say anything. It’s causing soooo much agitation. I’m also hearing things I think, earlier today I walked past my two coworker’s desk and I could have sworn they were whispering about me and glancing at me and when I asked “what” because I didn’t hear them, they said they just happened to glace and me when I walked in but they weren’t talking. And i keep hearing stomping in the hallway and thinking someone’s coming to attack me.

I don’t know, I guess I’m very paranoid and it’s manifesting in weird ways. But this frustration with being unable to really talk is killing me. I’m usually very open about my mental health and vent to my close friends but I feel like I can’t even talk to them now or else they’ll get fed up and show that they secretly hate me. I dont know what’s going on and i feel so beyond frustrated. Has anyone had paranoia like this before?",3.5925113300492626,5.451877831428575,4.827753694581284,81.94614285714287,73.54285714285714,7.684729064039409,27.78325123152709,8.433251757073789,2.0499881773399022,1411,55,269,25,29,466,166,350,0.172,0.7120000000000001,0.115,-0.9677,1,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,8,0,18,16,5,1,4,0,26,5,1,3,2,59,67,32,1,5,14,0,5,3,1,1,3,7,0,0,24,19,1,1,16,1,1,5,7,9,0,1,9,14,42,8,35,54,5,28,0,0,1,0,24,13,0,7,12,174,66,1,0.08818214264686333,0.0,0.08605305079633452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051922761536597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06745909775971201,0.0,0.0,0.18497701342688555,0.09035302602520796,0.0725663897928718,0.0,0.08243839966057025,0.10031991764825482,0.0,0.0,0.07362840573957181,0.1612650470414136,0.0,0.15007301694156214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058735138746284,0.0,0.07596110770974612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040626545726733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033488144357948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14732972979210893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582434735526587,0.0,0.0,0.08426181626178078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17835016359671876,0.12599468065308878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06812930466370391,0.0,0.0460715299492684,0.0,0.10023188764897438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971425718681883,0.0,0.0779791775166229,0.0,0.07899387907358996,0.08706160945839655,0.0,0.0937334940507228,0.2981630509377892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838034010924258,0.09756047556736502,0.0,0.2423129971822735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062285655207260114,0.129244021935547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772452992468185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888668591267383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06482402121281998,0.06538594142077685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08639977695224613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417983317385354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971294112439589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298347722478512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388141116464416,0.14025195840965546,0.0882857082886742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471644330281832,0.06788692159925322,0.0,0.0,0.062415774436447226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09165501054947077,0.0,0.4252647958761179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11716859448619052,0.2260142254769983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835863603619245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614113999951224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712017184624576,0.2910380114589487,0.0,0.06999488029219861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845221309935834,0.0,0.0,0.09562977210216177,0.0,0.08955324632095647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RussianBotPatrol,2019/05/03,I can tell when I'm manic because I scroll through Facebook I don't usually use Facebook that often but I find myself on it more on it when I am. Sometimes I find myself in arguments about politics,3.958916666666667,5.352557725000004,5.540000000000003,79.09166666666668,71.75,8.333333333333334,33.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,3.028833333333334,159,8,29,3,3,54,28,40,0.10300000000000001,0.897,0.0,-0.5499,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,5,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,5,5,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,3,24,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22387667747495296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6713331459600189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3632269191025647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32099911955907945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3171924420279088,0.4044820955495138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Timmy2k,2019/05/03,"Moving soon. Cannot wait to switch primary care doctors even if it takes me another 3 years to find one. For context I'm Bipolar 1 with psychotic features and I have severe social anxiety. Been legally disabled since August 2012. After a year on benefits they finally put me on Medicare. Took me 3 years to find a primary care doctor who would accept it due to Obamacare.

Finally go see her. And of course she one of these old school doctors that will try everything before prescribing medication. Tells me she does not give out any meds that deal with what I have and I have to seek therapy for those. Problem is small town no resources. Tell her that she won't budge. Only things I could do was go to the local guidance center and get reemed at 93 bucks a pop and it was 5 weeks to see the nurse practitioner who prescribed something I couldn't afford and no generic. 

Private therapy does not accept Medicare. So I go without. I never leave the house and when I do it's a shitshow. I hate people and the littlest things set me off. Thankfully I'm moving to Colorado where they have better options and worse case scenario I'll start either smoking weed or eating edibles. Anything is better than nothing.",3.416645149041201,6.030762052401746,4.21531422061895,82.5745452819442,76.94759825327513,6.777368520979684,28.29713309284223,7.893859768569023,2.135800303778242,966,42,167,16,23,309,149,229,0.083,0.812,0.105,0.7087,1,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,2,2,5,10,1,0,8,0,17,6,0,0,1,29,34,13,0,5,6,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,14,12,1,1,4,0,1,7,9,2,0,2,4,2,21,8,22,25,1,32,0,0,2,0,14,10,0,3,14,106,35,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382099101849084,0.11382917983054132,0.08304412995242774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933135639618282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237214501178044,0.0,0.0,0.19201580972150306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22135772033724252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667217991744737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191523902081467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333313333727605,0.18999408565810788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111078667930442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169942598130039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756206055416212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378329691153269,0.1984342532665959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05671540603525772,0.10413566215074904,0.18508259478092887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717539738648084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525767201583152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149438661556051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12057991824823636,0.10935754714544424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23075315971613355,0.0,0.0,0.08372415907272297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10416126471090664,0.0,0.1139100086852338,0.0,0.14711909280019125,0.08256082211704985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525823459968611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387228930811186,0.0,0.10912756371250687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098632597847398,0.17300825250860294,0.0,0.0,0.12263603260655105,0.0,0.08979765782745938,0.0,0.0,0.11065795474085903,0.0,0.08357079365988138,0.0,0.0,0.07683565086868525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161970478129668,0.0,0.18976337150120146,0.09994268115635704,0.2482837640772917,0.0,0.14423797990173495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206083844269578,0.07370158798426102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707611796203063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104642959814155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062662206327888,0.07711422004786816,0.0,0.0,0.20971720910206929
bipolarreddit,kittensinaustin,2019/05/03,This week sucks. I can't handle this. My dog is sick. I got huge medical bills in the mail. I found out my husband is having an affair. This week can fuck right off. I am not strong enough to handle this.,-1.2711295681063106,0.7142145116279082,0.5266445182724233,102.2279069767442,101.55813953488372,3.387375415282392,10.794019933554818,5.288315135182226,-1.6083794019933553,156,2,37,1,7,50,33,43,0.254,0.698,0.049,-0.8658,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,2,0,6,3,0,0,0,3,10,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,6,1,4,8,1,7,0,0,0,1,3,5,2,0,2,24,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36345628830060905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3856805046671624,0.0,0.325191241799582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813300985886744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35435551570362755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003963052500373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.564312267261578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,misterjetson,2019/05/03,"Why is it every pharmaceutical drug has cohesive studies done but supplements that are cheap and available still need more research? I’ve just noticed that all the supplements I look into seem to need more research, while high grade pharmaceutical drugs are regard as being effective with trials as short as 8-weeks.",15.103396226415093,12.14912811320755,12.333679245283024,53.835613207547176,50.88679245283019,15.128301886792451,49.14150943396226,13.023866798666859,6.400139622641508,262,12,37,6,2,79,43,53,0.0,0.9229999999999999,0.077,0.631,0,0,2,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,1,1,10,10,6,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,6,8,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,2,25,4,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26096247798551114,0.0,0.0,0.5914583565633088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21485586174026952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694307345776524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21414311586165652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3781714987541168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29032914047858505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321503792792395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036503090333576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20455262919844805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23010572362090834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mailerox,2019/08/03,"Coping with skin picking? I’m having the hardest time when it comes to my skin picking. My legs and arms look like I got chicken pox. My kids started noticing my legs all messed up. I’m always doing it. I don’t know what triggers it. But once I start I can’t stop. 

So anyway, do any of you guys have any coping ideas to try to stop this?",-0.3562499999999993,1.8152458750000025,1.4605555555555585,98.84000000000002,90.25,3.2,17.722222222222218,3.1291,-0.9560111111111116,261,7,59,0,9,85,51,72,0.10300000000000001,0.861,0.036000000000000004,-0.5661,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,6,5,5,3,1,12,14,4,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,3,0,2,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,3,9,1,6,13,1,8,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,7,33,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21165149282014772,0.0,0.0,0.34595292332022376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191123406694394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20343838513324305,0.0,0.0,0.251860670137772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871463584982201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13979197931159992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426955941734127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21360196740563508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895954668067705,0.0,0.27088970165196824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36008075300121023,0.0,0.0,0.425319926177131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14832188185267225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17269667790094534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,baddieatty,2019/08/03,"Going through a severe depressive period, and have regrettably used my partner as a punching bad a couple times. What would you do or say after you’ve been an irrational, miserable, crying asshole for about a week? TO BE ABSOLUTELY CLEAR: they are one of the most compassionate and patient people I’ve ever met, but one person can only take so much, so they’re rightfully frustrated with the situation (the situation being me meds have stopped working, my symptoms are escalating, and I’m struggling to find a new psychiatrist). He loves and supports me so much, I just want to make sure I’m doing the same for him.",7.190366624525923,8.019156911504425,7.831378002528446,67.66769911504427,63.955752212389385,11.058912768647282,35.61188369152971,10.914260884657429,4.231342351453855,493,22,81,13,7,164,84,113,0.192,0.6679999999999999,0.14,-0.5753,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,1,1,6,9,1,2,10,0,11,2,0,2,3,19,21,10,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,2,1,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,5,0,2,2,1,8,4,11,16,4,9,0,2,0,1,10,1,0,2,7,58,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14874377560877275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19711424194810284,0.19568410391269114,0.0,0.0,0.15343617366311618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611425050382407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16282145777551146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124400532340977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607829709471004,0.0,0.11891328412502825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978791236334884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619143948177546,0.0,0.0,0.17205371503301034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24143155490554905,0.13548742912023912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235034301327964,0.1555494908422417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15213500159397794,0.0,0.14166818920516558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20125333480583252,0.0,0.0,0.4004852695679003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14893733871989254,0.0,0.18623601088117933,0.0,0.0,0.20215702751140946,0.16789971422363936,0.1851610419328015,0.13394299720868533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387788108410108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538602290596099,0.0,0.0,0.105074636698084,0.0,0.14289730961884192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969180527344826,0.0,0.0,0.12654921735257788,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PMe_U_Lovely_Redhead,2019/08/03,Vraylar? Anyone on vraylar? I was just prescribed it but haven't taken any yet. Just curious if anyone has taken it and what their experience was.,2.3550000000000004,5.295249592592596,4.086944444444448,77.78375000000003,90.11111111111113,5.662962962962964,25.26851851851852,7.1686216300943375,1.9087851851851847,117,5,18,2,4,39,21,27,0.0,0.879,0.121,0.5122,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,6,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,2,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,16,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3701660517907553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7612225249563863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.532463483819001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ryanjl1985,2019/08/03,"How long did it take for Lamictal take to start helping you when you first took it? I was giving lamictal yesterday for low mood and severe anxiety. I’m hopeful and excited about this drug because I hear great things. 

I’m not bp but my mood is chronically low and I have severe panic attacks. So hopefully I’m not posting in the wrong sub :)",2.406609808102345,4.890668552238811,4.1697228144989325,82.2155223880597,79.8955223880597,8.007675906183369,27.4818763326226,8.841846274778883,2.580865245202558,271,12,51,7,7,91,49,67,0.264,0.535,0.201,-0.7587,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,1,4,11,1,1,1,0,4,2,0,1,0,9,15,7,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,1,3,1,6,4,5,12,0,10,0,2,0,0,5,3,0,2,5,30,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15021271558695093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22338465467000893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969752264616088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277120051962146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16702132849612902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18836371228249565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164844990538759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213088278993851,0.0,0.13161408778220005,0.0,0.0,0.3900539969810188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17376993726168755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303828590709741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18805591324734092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4436554756415112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13898263221600127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952723451405224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13045099433414112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21816006691510434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146857664417915,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Notchmath,2019/08/03,"Do I have bipolar? I don’t want to be seen as someone who acts as though I have something that I don’t, but someone mentioned it to me and as it is in the family, I’m not quite sure. 

I don’t know if it is depression or mania is the thing, because I don’t know personally how extreme they are. But it feels like recently, I’ve had higher highs and lower lows. When I’m happy, I’m just constantly smiling, I feel like I’m on top of the world, everything is funny to the point that I often just read aloud signs as basic as street signs because everything is fun to me. I feel as though I couldn’t be sad if I tried and that no matter what, life is perfect. But when I’m sad, I feel like I break down- I sometimes just wind up sitting and sobbing over something that seems minor in retrospect, getting quickly overwhelmed by every task and needing lists to do anything. I feel like there isn’t a plan and that I always need to know what happens next, because I feel overwhelmed knowing there is stuff to do and I can’t figure out what to do with it. I’ve felt like nothing is making me happy- not like I’m actively sad, but just that I’m just going through the motions even with things I normally enjoy. I’ve never seriously contemplated suicide, but I’ve certainly imagined it and how I’d do it if I did want to- again, though I don’t know how normal that is. 

I’m also worried that I’m misrepresenting the situation, though it’s hard to properly evaluate myself.

TLDR I’m not sure if I’m bipolar or if I’m normal and overreacting to myself.",4.589811320754716,4.896279710691825,5.936157232704407,80.82291509433966,69.50314465408805,8.624150943396227,30.67987421383648,8.548686976883017,2.245524025157233,1220,47,248,18,20,413,145,318,0.11900000000000001,0.68,0.201,0.9808,1,0,2,0,0,1,30.0,0,0,1,4,21,23,0,2,7,0,29,3,0,4,5,68,63,37,1,13,20,0,8,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,23,12,0,0,15,1,0,3,13,9,0,0,4,9,27,14,29,56,0,26,0,8,1,0,4,13,1,9,14,162,50,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679023515035457,0.07989953238649661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07901944369839786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17560573623107564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376766469543136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270519806643943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06342284482292834,0.0,0.08090423193666668,0.0,0.17260008270486127,0.0,0.09052273633713148,0.0,0.2913152511339761,0.2743978197780579,0.09219795094598277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050168496425364084,0.0,0.054572564691927665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849135701115923,0.20443833976976825,0.08601850523073352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145446563374512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26386097328098795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0678244823659586,0.28147440554342296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06409666300649794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14240093055513556,0.0740595099071555,0.0,0.10212244984925717,0.0,0.2822489445838239,0.09213747025035778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384431872947512,0.0,0.0,0.0907735723523472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213318029133872,0.09604983166237796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09481196376466024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741650321878333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10793482642179146,0.0,0.0,0.1627213866299173,0.14784769628147282,0.0949700392605469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992433044757598,0.10503450249206693,0.0,0.1810026773823637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12758795334381393,0.0,0.3773717655874447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06519388843012898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327470481575502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975168769710891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,theguywiththefuzyhat,2019/08/03,"Any experience with antidepressants? You're really not supposed to treat bipolar with antidepressants, but also bipolar tends to get misdiagnosed with depression which is part of why most people with bipolar use them at some point anyway. I was wondering what it was like for other people when they were on antidepressants.

For me I would switch between hypomania and depression every few hours instead of every month or so like I do now and my first, and  worst, manic episode was while I was still on them.",9.326516853932588,9.822140528089893,8.455370786516855,66.14552808988765,59.4494382022472,11.614382022471911,35.777528089887646,11.20814326018867,4.218800449438203,413,16,65,10,5,129,65,89,0.171,0.7659999999999999,0.064,-0.9166,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,3,1,7,6,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,1,0,15,12,9,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,5,0,9,3,14,6,5,11,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,4,9,55,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801671005255976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320728010854312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3880898581662138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3796389178842718,0.0,0.0,0.22038023670291032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916345040694094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11770653548578068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22186867860192966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201340114821902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17982709230319954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439708651465437,0.0,0.3123802395419069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21297514329850872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14432876101477554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799196501366173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19458121591414196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20329230770538945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24432114965218274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16004201173980803,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Slythelephanic,2019/08/03,"How did Lamictal (or any mood stabilizer) make you feel the first time taking it? Hi, I'm kinda new to this bipolar thing. Technically I haven't been diagnosed yet, but my psychologist is leaning towards it. She wanted to have me put on a mood stabilizer to see if I would benefit from it. They upped my Celexa and put me on Lamictal as well. I've only been taking it for a couple of days but I've been SUPER jumpy today. I keep feeling like I'm being watched or like when I turn around somebody is gonna be right behind me. I keep seeing everyday objects out of the corner of my eye (for example, the microwave or my pillow on the bed) and it makes me jump. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder. I just have this overall sense of fear and paranoia. I'm considering sleeping with the lights on tonight because I'm so freaked out. I may have to have somebody come sleep with me, which I normally hate. I'm not sure if this is a normal reaction to the medication changes or not.

Have any of you had a similar experience? I've been on several different antidepressants in the past but this is my first time with a mood stabilizer. I'm not really sure what to expect from it. I know it will be a while before I'm adjusted to it but I'm not sure what symptoms I should be worried about or looking out for. Sorry if this didn't make a whole lot of sense, it's hard to have coherent thoughts right now. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you!",3.088584198385238,4.834269235294119,4.825973183391003,81.91028618800463,74.6401384083045,8.276874279123414,27.958621683967706,8.959647251330699,2.2855638985005764,1135,46,229,25,24,385,148,289,0.107,0.795,0.09699999999999999,0.3342,2,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,3,1,3,9,15,1,1,14,0,27,8,4,4,3,51,57,20,0,9,17,0,3,2,0,5,4,0,2,0,18,11,0,2,5,0,0,4,6,3,1,2,8,10,26,9,38,40,2,35,0,0,6,0,6,16,0,11,17,154,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11025528897116536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301829676459372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100441818596966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06877957104898667,0.0,0.09600925235166333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935822533982644,0.09719227756788212,0.0,0.12192817193252678,0.0,0.0,0.124843251165548,0.0,0.07276543425031716,0.0,0.0,0.11451915968591815,0.0,0.11788239321774273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11036850829118727,0.0,0.1269641038833638,0.11409956441660353,0.08060513033132413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919447466586995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107271013504457,0.11139537543765116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20057537341007187,0.0,0.0,0.0620079216602137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024519637029492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894960515843711,0.0,0.0,0.09592326452208724,0.0,0.0,0.22594289763470785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136634462597666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897104616868336,0.0,0.0,0.22109712079062768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858116134900378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770814115446932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22684881468672405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07228120949062253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19271086682887792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798203665390729,0.0,0.0,0.1274647654921035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258211641429385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12630293803216533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3190202694582205,0.11727263456781285,0.16966688025305462,0.0,0.0,0.1038778745975725,0.0,0.0,0.07495863936749397,0.0,0.0,0.08957370087481885,0.1315831090697318,0.0,0.1069487923771134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12272565920056976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06654952544667646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144690955319703,0.0,0.0,0.12596965883236322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11458342612366322,0.0,0.08015055416904372,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,esurks,2019/08/03,"Want to create a YouTube place for members here to vent, listen, and relax to Hello, I'm a music producer and I have an idea to create a place where everyone here can go to when they need a source of audio help, or something to distract them from their suffering in life, whatever it may be. (as well as this, I love meeting new people, and am in need of new friends) I think music is powerful in doing so, and the channel I have can help all of us. I'm just starting up this new idea, but I will be posting daily a new video of melancholic music that we can relate to and listen to together. If you are interested in this idea, check out/subscribe to the channel : [https://youtube.com/nkmusic](https://youtube.com/nkmusic) , and leave a comment on the new video that I can reply to so I know you made it. Think of it as the lofi hip hop radio, but for us. The most recent video is the start of this. Thank you.

Also let me know any feedback or ideas you have.",5.9603743315508035,6.0410578716577525,6.184385026737968,81.00245989304814,66.54010695187165,8.511229946524066,28.764705882352942,8.00094639256281,1.7155818181818183,750,22,149,8,11,240,104,187,0.034,0.84,0.126,0.9314,1,0,1,0,0,0,38.0,3,4,3,2,9,9,0,1,13,0,17,3,1,2,1,29,34,18,0,4,6,0,0,0,1,2,1,3,0,0,9,7,0,0,8,7,1,1,0,3,1,0,1,3,18,6,28,28,2,20,0,2,0,1,19,9,0,5,9,107,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234505321496243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852673653108481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034099733939848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921544488523646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06562691702513651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15480047663810476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5214273947621129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12692371925297904,0.0,0.0,0.12227100407260295,0.0,0.11808067543134493,0.08156317559255202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422039961471694,0.10926492639527896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17124601173868714,0.0,0.5576307873374431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005559771913423,0.0,0.2412929087290827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059281531273717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401730730632115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889804383389216,0.0,0.0,0.1634671339063531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063135631626733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14798301388701066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778036239963333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06810995319677546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382559778224283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rachelxx3,2019/08/03,"I pushed everyone away and now I spend Friday night alone on tinder ! :-)  I’m 21 and I went from being popular and “happy” (manic and delusional) to depressed and completely alone in life. I will call my old friends from college or from high school and it’s nice for an hour to catch up, but when the phone hangs up I realize how unbelievably alone I am. My social skills and confidence have declined as my anxiety and depression has increased exponentially. I am single, and I have no real friends. Has anyone else dealt with the consequences of being an abusive bridge burner through out the years? I think if I hadn’t cut everyone off I’d be busy every weekend with friends. I also am too tired to invest in friendships because I know how it ends and I’m exhausted with myself at this point, but the depression leads me to spiral further into self harm and other destructive actions.",4.530258175559382,6.710960373493979,5.170430292598971,79.11204819277111,71.77108433734941,8.357314974182444,29.327022375215147,9.04235418022936,2.6988998278829612,706,29,123,15,14,227,112,166,0.239,0.62,0.141,-0.9721,0,4,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,7,13,2,0,6,0,12,3,0,3,0,27,17,20,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,1,4,16,0,0,3,1,2,7,2,7,0,0,2,0,17,6,24,11,2,28,0,3,0,0,7,13,0,2,8,86,21,3,0.0,0.16847458836590665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4418049259790183,0.0,0.11371110685723085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877669726739228,0.0,0.0,0.09942414124103256,0.14569278400587402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335943182436015,0.0,0.0,0.08667908794313385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14519420560506546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14908588965701236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3674099810959329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878339577833805,0.0,0.1259401462195626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980312008342657,0.2717416147887564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3295721849781806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151366315350889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15023394003461102,0.0,0.0,0.14003074338864754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814515288163904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004346053472956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343781292188814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14920686793368554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13441765564801333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16184593298274566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143906168410211,0.0,0.0,0.14833754847553934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14494711245660205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09111106507237604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16342909690899826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318136587500895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156715985154064
bipolarreddit,kittykatmila,2019/09/24,"Bipolar 1, haven’t had a full-on manic episode in years? I just wanted to know y’all’s thoughts on this. 
I had my first manic episode at the age of 21. It was a LONG and TERRIBLE one. I ended up in ICU for 3 days from not sleeping or eating for 2 months. Then I was hospitalized in a psych ward. It was so bad; paranoia, auditory hallucinations, delusions. I couldn’t drive. Could barely even shower. 
Anyways, it’s been years...and the only times I noticed myself slipping into mania (usually prompted by situational occurrences), I’ve been able to, in a sense, will myself” out of it. I haven’t been on meds in years as well except for a very low dose of Suboxone for the past 2 years. So, I’m confused. Like, will that never happen again or is another one right around the corner? It’s just bizarre to me to go through that kind of experience and then...🤷🏼‍♀️. Opinions?",1.9918588235294161,4.138824965714289,3.7984201680672283,86.16475630252104,79.34285714285714,6.403361344537816,24.579831932773107,7.510576382923642,1.2074336134453791,679,25,139,10,17,228,114,175,0.115,0.855,0.03,-0.9267,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,0,1,9,7,0,1,9,0,15,4,1,0,1,19,21,8,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,1,0,8,5,1,0,2,0,0,2,5,4,1,3,9,0,12,3,29,8,0,32,0,1,0,0,1,15,0,4,16,91,20,1,0.18275953125470887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19163930361764386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16269473008740182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15259657472696156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14591861442847895,0.0,0.0,0.11786477834049827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18700862644056335,0.0,0.0,0.16187069878886748,0.0,0.0,0.12071094674754505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787738903716573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554551639225056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038664533071016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16161364991591828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903159280073918,0.1004398588029345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892870754305495,0.0,0.0,0.1617364340533624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030046390368914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14587691421987453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409554172713498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20807293765550328,0.0,0.0,0.24768517646407154,0.13899685897909325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17446465225462865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15607564111040798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20542937045448068,0.1828915180024828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14509065337849755,0.10656855238783897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012838036049696,0.1507957534116236,0.1077963066702056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643227671353316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35307343836429034
bipolarreddit,JakeHarwud,2019/09/24,"Sleeping off Seroquel I’ve been on seroquel for approx 6-7 years, I take 75mg. My doctor gave me permission to go off of it but the insomnia has me worried. Does anyone have any recommendations on how to deal with the insomnia, and has anyone found CBD oil helpful?",4.181730769230768,5.7818775576923045,5.591538461538463,78.12846153846156,71.5,8.276923076923078,30.30769230769231,8.841846274778883,2.57936923076923,211,9,39,4,4,71,42,52,0.053,0.8759999999999999,0.07,0.2263,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,4,4,1,1,0,5,8,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,4,0,9,5,0,6,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,23,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120795513794724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4361278696728168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32152011719966783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31920803133401965,0.27291600867991384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34194493492338485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17724061556536633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20903718331489549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3120911921060848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344843944103455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3167150270458988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20083145732799876
bipolarreddit,Rachelnm02,2019/09/24,"Even if you medicate, do you still get manic/depressive episodes? Are they less frequent when you’re not medicated?",5.7070000000000025,8.875767699999997,5.420000000000004,74.01500000000001,72.0,10.0,35.0,10.125756701596842,4.4895,94,5,15,3,2,29,18,20,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,11,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3473602890282505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26637476511438224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21070674910212991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8125613430140984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220745935934789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wanttothrowmeawaytbh,2019/09/24,"Broke my hand by punching a wall Sorry if any of this is typed funny, I only have one hand currently. 

I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 2 within the last year. Things seem great recently, for the first time in months; moods have been fairly stable, haven’t been seeing my therapist as regularly, not on any medications. 

This morning, I was agitated, more than normal. Had a very silly incident that was not a big deal, would have laughed it off any other morning, but for some reason, this morning, I lost my shit and punched a fucking wall, then proceeded to have a screaming/crying meltdown. Hand swelled, got radiographed, it’s broken. 

For clarity sake, I’d like to mention that I didn’t have a crying, screaming meltdown because of my hand, that was just where I was at emotionally. I’ve had similar episodes before, a few months before I was diagnosed that encouraged me to seek help, but I’m a year removed from those incidents and haven’t experienced another since therapy. This is the first time since being diagnosed that I’ve had a total meltdown. 

No precursor. No warning. Totally out of the blue. Like I said, life has been good. So, what the fuck. 

Any input? What should I do? I’m sorry if this is the wrong place.",4.611556261343015,6.664089801724143,5.346243194192379,78.48097096188751,71.24137931034483,8.849727767695098,30.313974591651544,9.414487439383343,2.980436206896551,982,42,174,23,19,318,137,232,0.177,0.66,0.163,-0.6661,1,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,3,3,15,3,0,15,0,29,13,5,1,2,19,38,9,0,5,7,0,4,2,0,2,6,2,0,0,17,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,7,7,0,3,16,9,14,7,20,19,5,25,0,2,2,2,5,11,3,4,15,117,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239867801006208,0.12489384437264613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260638782950493,0.0,0.20270219500208345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616664109163456,0.0,0.12279386064277725,0.0,0.3626726248180323,0.0,0.0,0.1365066892787712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13397909662824434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20262433314409176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22022459845814205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990111642599944,0.09526057290630263,0.13131564588722874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983476424645468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09708792300535052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08412864141040667,0.11637911318610195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13001912072397828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998755059546555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901397915585148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166993560390031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070983691433924,0.09058607365980446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444123494375482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12246160746898592,0.11760357650701313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132978233493268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949126831808877,0.10843033954853748,0.0,0.0,0.12226139848167812,0.1970527191433161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26666057850921804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13620898365905668,0.13829215221170976,0.07912925245218504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389042429782608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827556771038737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461003946364491,0.13022456668402213,0.0,0.1534017230312556
bipolarreddit,Mini-zilla,2019/09/24,"I don't know if my 'moods' are normal. Let me expand on this. 
I am bipolar1, taking my lamictal every night at the same time. I don't drink anymore (that's how I found out I was bipolar. Quit drinking 2.5 years ago and HELLO!) Try to go to sleep at the same time every night (if I can sleep. You guys know.).  Anyway. 
I am wondering if my cycle is normal, or if I need to see about changing something. 
I am often 'in the middle' a few weeks at a time, but I am constantly cycling. My most recent transition was 2 weeks of hyper energy,  2 weeks of anxious energy, followed by 3 weeks of anger, and now a week and a half of depression. I have a mood tracker, and I see a therapist.
 I am high functioning. I never have to take time off work or anything, I'm always able to push through, but I'm just concerned at how I feel inside, vs. What people are able to see from me. Should I constantly be jumping from one thing to another, or should I be having more normal spaces in between them? If it's not ACTUALLY interrupting my day to day life is it even a problem, or am I making it one? How much 'normalcy' can I honestly have expectations for?",2.778453065134101,4.079793349137933,4.847873563218394,83.26226053639849,74.5603448275862,7.914176245210728,25.819923371647512,8.515128840125781,1.754591187739464,875,30,180,16,18,303,131,232,0.078,0.861,0.061,-0.7717,1,0,3,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,1,2,10,6,1,0,10,0,25,6,2,4,1,41,41,18,0,13,14,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,7,5,2,0,5,2,0,4,4,3,0,3,3,4,28,1,28,33,6,36,0,1,3,0,4,12,0,12,20,132,35,1,0.2102221028058545,0.0,0.10257322371780643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09317460503076147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874608150380035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021810219737216,0.0,0.11874556941402528,0.10424191880964732,0.0,0.0,0.08649743926260467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119355515625427,0.0,0.0,0.22717541036288985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13557586506912792,0.0,0.09053199455260884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059376283593352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06942485812569793,0.0,0.17712118841888014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05314730582304016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11524884252556852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059737032797413686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407646642485847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11105559680436994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11553256991915145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107483171551107,0.07424304410897864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07016244301214446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726871701373354,0.07793851275797427,0.08106812273271337,0.0,0.0,0.1972792026474995,0.30895953955657346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14245193745203008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07287076832716004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100577080635037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11179854154207164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378448256866496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512796975832953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21037392269436614,0.0,0.0,0.08091962263132213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15806085884650484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12204203211237764,0.06983111199263191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451643974149243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07136350423196464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4215687261727276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398845150921368,0.07652209728791129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768807090229569
bipolarreddit,ShortyBP1Fighter,2019/09/24,"Is anyone treating Bipolar 1 with Lithium and Lamictal? I was diagnosed with Bipolar 15 months ago after a severe manic episode. While I was hospitalized I had numerous Psychiatrists assure me that I was being given the “gold standard” of medication for my diagnosis. I recently had to start seeing a new psychiatrist who is recommending that I begin using Depakote instead to simplify my medications. She also said I do not need to be on two mood stabilizers which contradicts everything my past psychiatrists have said.  Lithium and Lamictal have kept major episodes at bay however I am still having minor episodes, which I thought was par for the course with this disease. I am terrified to switch medications when my current med combination seems to be working. Should I be searching for a medication where I would be symptom free? Should I get a second opinion?",8.30557046979866,10.034244020134226,8.752543624161074,58.849755033557074,61.81879194630872,11.866040268456375,41.745637583892616,11.602472056035307,5.804467919463086,705,40,98,22,10,234,100,149,0.068,0.892,0.04,-0.5913,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,6,0,22,8,0,1,1,17,34,5,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,3,8,2,0,0,6,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,11,3,19,4,15,15,1,15,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,2,12,79,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448596886528816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306848570247193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426526433520158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16586524810669545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14686904582708113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537886060195991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815199211500296,0.6585034597265377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13043823083269152,0.0,0.0,0.1211719511819918,0.0,0.15782956894537326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560004247734085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613549939592844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108947898542954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302225312883945,0.1487690876630277,0.0,0.1846151771563272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156676956645635,0.0,0.13050536799142595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16985327767042596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297351828304034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596350803242439,0.0,0.0,0.14114018767717704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189698328695105,0.0,0.0,0.11608705119386492,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kiwi_mountain,2019/09/24,"I'm so sick of this medication I overslept for class today. All because of my stupid trazodone. My sleep has been so erratic lately, my doctor decided to up my does again. So now I'm groggy all the time and sleeping over 12 hours a night, and still waking up tired. So now I'm depressed as ever all because of this stupid med. I've been stable lately too, I don't want to risk that. But I also can't be so tired all the time, oversleeping my responsibilities. I can't seem to find a middle ground.

Sorry, had to vent a little.",1.9377777777777752,3.890175740740745,3.9182962962962975,86.20633333333332,78.62962962962962,6.171851851851853,20.985185185185188,7.1686216300943375,0.5740007407407406,412,11,85,5,10,140,67,108,0.20199999999999999,0.762,0.036000000000000004,-0.9536,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,12,4,2,1,5,0,8,8,3,0,5,12,13,10,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,9,0,12,9,4,18,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,1,12,56,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14329719643713765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184636247991872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15433502697958892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18340730128643512,0.15680930213648325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16208650325991408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16377529156724674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764648458465467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4042654800454724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17959422438398018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19903833076367405,0.18051383643691726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681565241856048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631267284058034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35863636049650394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20058716014412006,0.0,0.0,0.1431003849943453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20897282820538854,0.4119022679590341,0.1698500041092078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10569018049990356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tihero,2019/09/24,"Meditation and Depression I just thought I would share my recent experience with anyone currently experiencing or has experienced depression.

I currently had a hypomanic episode that lasted about 2 to 3 months. I believe I was high for so long that when I finally came down the depression hit hard and lasted for weeks. I had to miss work for a few days for the first time in my life. I laid in bed for days and didn’t eat. I was starting to panic and feel hopeless that I would just remain in that state.

I had read and seen on documentaries that meditation can help with depression and anxiety. I made it a point to pick a type of meditation and make a routine to try it. I downloaded the app Headspace and started using it at least twice a day. The type of meditation is called mindfulness.

I don’t know whether it worked, it was a coincidence, or it was placebo effect, but after two days I could physically feel myself feeling better. The headaches and pressure in my head were going away. Fatigue has lessened. I had more energy. I had a more optimistic outlook at where I was going.

I have now been doing it for a solid week, as many times a day as I can fit in and it feels like night and day. I almost feel like myself again. I really don’t care what the reason was why it worked, the point is it worked. 

I just thought I would share in case anyone out there hadn’t tried it and had been thinking about it. It just might help.",3.686311310536905,5.5061127046263385,4.7961349218629135,82.43719480117593,73.19928825622777,8.303326628500697,26.452266749187693,8.964715089967882,2.0367157976172057,1134,40,226,24,23,372,144,281,0.08199999999999999,0.7809999999999999,0.138,0.9615,2,0,0,0,0,1,25.0,0,0,0,7,12,15,0,2,17,0,32,4,1,6,0,46,53,20,0,4,8,0,6,2,0,4,2,0,1,0,19,16,1,0,11,1,0,3,4,9,0,3,22,9,29,6,32,25,4,47,0,7,1,0,5,17,0,4,28,162,48,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932391201852868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587966213395728,0.0,0.0,0.13871114742127633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319175876816783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175255005995664,0.0,0.08772501304061127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128352433828966,0.11344631297361715,0.10113026073941024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919470927465838,0.0,0.0,0.3838139592110619,0.0,0.34172693147898103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149557587851604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09702632066056573,0.0,0.0,0.2507658456139571,0.14172193397377325,0.0,0.10865720040131094,0.0,0.08437050036629468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11274330701759168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885426953241056,0.0,0.10179699772958346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296920269311605,0.10479910584945422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054511930836520416,0.16170529010769133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07006044595724861,0.0969179156258052,0.0,0.0,0.08777954700395048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385546130499388,0.0662097319132744,0.10056253970156867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522433774147837,0.10015307454398792,0.0,0.07917207723480485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308258491722274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637745472780217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875321930456766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09921629779753867,0.0,0.06354330522677415,0.10198328046288138,0.09793762122051264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041361457091392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06355659813206449,0.0,0.1574906965473181,0.1156763385841051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13468625893691746,0.0,0.09689368544891144,0.0,0.0,0.08566784268981133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591275967291252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950305585631955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888444204257337,0.0,0.0,0.21138403038148065,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ClassyLs,2019/09/24,"Please please help, I don't know what to do I am 19 and have bipolar, depression, anxiety, and panic disorder. My stories going to start at the beginning of the year. I can only remember this stuff like a blur. I started lexapro for depression and anxiety. A month or so into it I was put on adderall for adhd. Right after, I went to the hospital for suicidal thoughts. They sent me to outpatient therapy. I slowly increased my adderall dosage. Several days into therapy something changed and I could communicate with people on a level that I hadn't been able to since sophomore year of high school. This is one of the most surreal, amazing, and overwhelming experiences of my life. It was the first time I had hope for a brighter future for a very long time. For a week or two this persisted and I found myself opening up to people, making new friends, and being able to talk to strangers for the first time in forever (to this degree). Unfortunately, I had a manic episode. I stayed up all night one night and thought I was the smartest person on earth in the morning. I had other delusions like thinking god was speaking to me through my spotify playlist and paranoia that felt as terrifying as a bad drug trip. I was taken off lexapro and adderall and put on abilify. My social abilities disappeared and I was closed off from most people yet again. My hope went away. I graduated my outpatient therapy and switched antipsychotics to vraylar. I had horrible depression and anxiety again until a couple months later when I started wellbutrin. Wellbutrins done a number on my depressive episodes and anxiety but its still not like those days in therapy. Another couple months pass and we make it to the present. I've experimented with adderall recently but it didn't have the same effect as before. Life is tolerable right now but still sucks. I can't stop thinking about how much different reality was during therapy. I don't know what the cause of my social blooming was. It had to have been one of the following: adderall, lexapro, or adderall and lexapro. I read that amphetamines boost the effects of ssris. I've also read other stories of adderall changing peoples social lives like mine. I want to try an ssri again and then perhaps combining adderall too. I have some doubts that it will work considering the vraylar but who knows. It's just such an awful feeling knowing that you have so much potential to be happy again thats just going to be locked away for your entire life. But I can't drop my vraylar and go manic again. Thanks for listening, sorry for the long read. Any kind of advice is appreciated",5.594241164241165,7.545221646569648,5.965654885654883,75.44623700623703,68.5010395010395,9.274844074844074,34.20582120582121,9.703287916142703,3.620387941787942,2096,102,353,49,37,672,241,481,0.09,0.792,0.11900000000000001,0.9365,1,0,2,0,0,0,50.0,1,2,1,6,19,20,1,3,27,1,38,5,0,6,1,67,69,37,1,4,11,0,2,4,1,1,5,2,0,1,25,26,0,1,14,3,0,13,7,9,0,6,26,4,44,11,62,38,8,78,0,5,0,0,15,23,1,10,44,256,69,6,0.135729203247691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156006306106148,0.06631650327143887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054271297399784015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04615025628056562,0.07116195202622286,0.20766493795463467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12752205438335928,0.0,0.05666410764960742,0.0,0.0,0.05774777751779887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971564003257012,0.14358349998596126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05418436220374738,0.15018178178286484,0.0,0.08753410749793303,0.0,0.23380672774257294,0.0,0.0,0.07090406445276264,0.07777871297427988,0.0,0.0,0.06944904954761183,0.0,0.0,0.07870139229861788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13276920516838928,0.0,0.0,0.03431438168414,0.0,0.06516066014960008,0.0,0.0,0.11545119094519035,0.0,0.07441003282923297,0.05243202286915999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570705112956865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224313036572302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045488211944057166,0.07170267764077454,0.0,0.13480972427253204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07067053930497166,0.14918644095922226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14380432536489046,0.13262086551989574,0.0,0.05992568657099453,0.1201160737252656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060029712236978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16250663265026172,0.0,0.09977658158933883,0.0,0.0,0.06554405513940964,0.0,0.12737266269957215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13796043123003734,0.051614087631005286,0.0,0.07962448776031128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18819507926294154,0.05925675247822984,0.0,0.14898990645119548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13644533792141725,0.0,0.0,0.20364890024655832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700810685700398,0.0,0.07687736422637627,0.11591199796176115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868259996149471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07666768294408949,0.0,0.05613829975668772,0.0,0.0,0.2075382448941124,0.0,0.05224548589448943,0.0,0.07596886536112539,0.14410474297963638,0.07233463565845097,0.10839351704216542,0.056737845733238784,0.0,0.0,0.07768873239561869,0.07423285930592698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054546996119826635,0.0,0.062480607278455724,0.3880454320777267,0.0,0.0,0.08696979293609892,0.0,0.10775382627954172,0.11871718487860135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0460756097531436,0.0,0.06629385467420079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055995403695717226,0.04002830034894223,0.0,0.054436889892983065,0.0,0.0,0.12582233122330824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04940623824566389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08740515683478317
bipolarreddit,Lion_TheAssassin,2019/09/24,"I hate that I can never tell if my excitement, or interest about something is 'normal' or an expression of my bipolar depression. A few days ago I decided to take up my aunt on her word, that If I got a business license we could work a house cleaning business. Today I started doing the prep research, asking questions and things. I thought it was normal healthy interest, but now I don't know. As the night hit, I subconsciouly went on an hour long eating binge. I feel like utter crap. And now I'm confused. Should I pursue this thing and set something up and risk my interest (or slight manic energy) crashing and burning down. Or should I file this under the things too out there to be a healthy expression of my mind trying to progress category? How can I be an independent adult, if almost every plan, hope, desire, or idea could be just a bipolar induced manic rush? 
Dammit!",5.8066593647316544,6.820620783132532,6.147261774370211,77.86832968236585,67.07228915662651,8.927929901423877,33.163198247535604,9.095868883498916,2.9680192771084344,694,30,123,12,11,223,109,166,0.078,0.7509999999999999,0.171,0.9469,0,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,0,3,7,11,2,2,11,0,13,4,1,3,1,39,25,16,0,11,10,1,1,1,0,2,2,0,1,1,8,7,1,0,7,0,0,2,2,5,0,0,4,1,19,6,14,13,1,20,0,1,0,0,9,7,1,12,11,87,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487021861488922,0.0,0.16797957670560534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15682564359559642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.267872931521242,0.0,0.0,0.10818627842935644,0.0,0.14448470698585708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171652359709556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14133844690021366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482054269186992,0.1198421910444544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416674294928255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16562054809406834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16661576592275545,0.16520210638129926,0.19356349309758544,0.0,0.18937179256619036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09219221113255928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195524174971729,0.0,0.0,0.14845540061272167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16938188121834766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938082295450826,0.0,0.0,0.1574240572616772,0.3287230388469734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18792083370003584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582876478767647,0.0,0.0,0.11873585655247908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12612876248462188,0.0,0.14662279946055848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33434128358529275,0.0,0.0,0.1331764929685526,0.0,0.0,0.15900945207021,0.0,0.0,0.11389271880503656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555079516710325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212558509535792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mowyourass,2019/09/24,"How do you know if you need help? Hi guys. I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder with psychotic symptoms. (I hallucinate and have delusions, etc.) I’ve been having a really hard time lately, and just got out of a month and a half long manic episode, and I feel like I dropped. I feel like my mind can’t function. I’m almost constantly hallucinating and Ive never felt so numb & empty. My mind is racing 1000 miles per minute, my mood is fluctuating like crazy. All I want to do is drink and do destructive things to myself. I can see that it’s affecting the people I love. I don’t believe that I need inpatient care, as I am not a danger to myself or others. I do think I would benefit from some sort of outpatient program care. I’m scared my family will judge me for my struggles. They ostracized me for my past hospitalizations, and pretends like it never happened. They said I was “better” than those “people” in the hospital and I’m not like them. They say I don’t belong there and it’s a misunderstanding. My family has such a bougie view on worth and feel that it’s shameful and unacceptable to take medication for things other than depression. Their behavior upsets me and makes me so scared that if I talk to my dad and say I need help, he will treat me like I’m less, and restrict me from normal things, even though I’m an adult. That makes me want to ignore my struggles and just pretend that everything’s okay. I just started graduate school and my life is going great. I should be great, but I never felt so low. I’m scared that I’ll mess up my future and lose my tuition if I chose to get help. I didn’t do a good job at wording the way I feel, as I believe that words can’t describe now I truly feel and how I am doing. I don’t want to kill myself, and I want to make that clear, but I’m scared my dad will place me somewhere against my will. I just feel tormented by my mind and the voices and I can’t escape. 
My question is, when is it an appropriate time to ask for help?",2.6961301072152963,4.3863863817733995,4.1512952767313855,86.56840046363375,75.57635467980295,7.4365691104027825,23.517531150391196,8.219915518859313,1.2439046073601858,1565,47,331,27,34,519,198,406,0.142,0.708,0.15,-0.2917,1,0,1,0,0,1,44.0,0,2,5,2,15,34,3,8,13,1,36,8,0,6,5,79,75,36,1,13,12,2,9,6,0,6,6,4,0,2,20,24,1,2,12,3,2,1,12,17,0,1,8,15,64,16,31,60,4,25,0,3,2,1,24,8,0,8,20,215,84,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317803408535245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000136380442322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07765496844484293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871725998121802,0.0,0.07346462676045977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693814934166918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976422538571212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154413719915481,0.08430966771746369,0.0,0.0,0.09520018462997076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137250267499081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263991705820444,0.05486393621749338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465385662762176,0.0,0.156613398421318,0.0,0.2520022777600089,0.11868392630883814,0.15951168744342772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043398261236835434,0.0,0.04720800078965473,0.06967134562228658,0.06643501630983542,0.18315987003007872,0.0,0.08224783989240776,0.07345448958665858,0.0,0.07441031378644465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227080397688505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824296267433024,0.0,0.0918995963390975,0.0,0.04565059056808623,0.0,0.09370142842907772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058671573072755265,0.24348945361417176,0.0,0.0,0.07351029580197509,0.0,0.09292897412569423,0.0,0.0,0.07496979791729677,0.0,0.1663404680487322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367968654384983,0.0,0.0,0.2516172292917328,0.0,0.06630203749542474,0.0,0.0,0.18477590195853824,0.1921955522109956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138648955454175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929535648099599,0.1151742270292426,0.0,0.08678569969588579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305229729351876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05321384448754489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07901425020280747,0.13211393536837948,0.33265196410971565,0.08406665457890672,0.06619239694615915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058794142223517476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736760555976938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633679185108123,0.062454869281374475,0.06676484995753264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16555495154590405,0.05322497652722056,0.0816113678567899,0.0,0.09687224594841323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19597658217375533,0.06593347569544078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05900730155456758,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,StarfishInASandstorm,2019/08/06,"Having a hard time and not sure how to get through it. First things first- I am not sure if I have bipolar disorder.  My psychiatrist who I stopped going to because she was too expensive was fairly convinced that I had a mood disorder and put me on Wellbutrin which did help to stabilize me at first.  I am absolutely not a self-diagnoser or someone who thinks that is safe and this post should probably go straight to the trash until I see a professional again but I have no one to reach out to right now and so I’m throwing a dart at the internet.  My apologies if this breaks rules in any way.  My life has been marked by extreme sensitivity to conflict or any insult to the point that I have completely molded my personality to please everyone and harm no one.  This has mostly worked and until the last two years I have always been highly regarded by family, friends, strangers etc.  and have no known enemies.  It’s something people joke about, how “loved” I am.  I teach sick people how to paint and they consistently review that I am the nicest person ever etc.  in my teacher evaluations.  I don’t want to overthink that but I know in my heart that what appears altruistic about me is a painstaking act to avoid any criticism because I know that when a mean word comes my way, the shame of it will cause me physical pain for years, even decades.  It’s ridiculous but it’s a physical reaction.  I’m having a low grade panic attack now that this sounds like bragging but I don’t feel good about my “reputation” because I know why it is the way it is.  Even though I supposedly love theater, that particular performance of a happy nice person has been so incredibly exhausting and alienating.  Then again I don’t really trust my thoughts right now anyway.  Anyway, as a kid I was coming up with projects a mile a minute, started and stopped huge, mostly artistic endeavors hundreds of times, and went into crazy bursts of creativity with regularity.  My mother, who isn’t artistic, thought that it was cool and unique and didn’t see that it stressed me out and made me incredibly sad to see how I would never finish anything I wanted to begin.  To this day I still think of the 50-200 half baked song, play, novel, painting, film ideas I’ve had as things that I raised and killed and I feel nothing but deep regret even if they were bad ideas in the first place.  I know this sounds like standard artist problems but the way it cuts me is too deep to be normal.  School was so busy and stressful but always productive and while all my classmates were falling apart around me, I was the “stable” one.  Then I graduated and everything went to absolute hell.  I know I am still young but I know that something isn’t right about how my life has melted down since graduating college- it’s been three years so I can no longer chalk it up to recent grad.  At least I don’t feel like I can.  In the last three years I have made no progress whatsoever in my career of choice that I studied for- and not because I’ve tried and been rejected, I haven’t even been able to put myself up for rejection.  I know I sound like a complete tissue paper flower but I’ve been through and survived genuinely scary things, near death accidents, evacuation from war zones, etc and yet I can’t seem to do the things that I’ve told myself I want to do with my life.  I’ve had about twenty five different jobs in the last three years, sometimes at once since I live in an expensive city, and anyway, every summer primarily, but also other seasons, especially since I’ve graduated I fall so deep into a catatonic state I don’t recognize myself.  Then within that I have strange manic like situations, such as last night, even though I had been flat in a dark room all day, my friend mentioned that she didn’t know what to cook for dinner and I made her listen to me for an hour explaining in detail twenty different ways to prepare chicken until she had to nicely tell me to please stop.  I have millions of these little moments peppered in the depression.  I had been so thoroughly exhausted just moments before she mentioned that I don’t know.  I know it’s small but it’s weird to me that I just have these random throttles of energy.  I’ve been lying to friends about why I can’t see them, or when I do confess something’s wrong I downplay it as much as possible cause I just don’t want to trouble them.  I so desperately do not want to be a mess even though I never judge others for their mental health issues.  All I can do is cry or watch old recordings of Jewel songs.  I don’t even listen to Jewel.  I don’t know what’s wrong, I am completely completely exhausted and this is so long and I’m probably going to feel worse for posting it but I just want to get off the rollercoaster, I really feel like I have whiplash and my skin is going to fall off.  I’m not that person who was well liked by everyone and I don’t know if I ever was, I don’t know who she is.  To top it all off, I’m supposed to be my dad’s assistant at an art show tomorrow- I was supposed to pack my bag today and also finish a painting for him that I’ve been promising for three and a half years.  I haven’t started.  It’s a huge issue for him and he brings it up every time we talk.  I have less than fourteen hours before I have to go to the airport and at least six of those should be asleep.  I don’t feel like I will ever accomplish my goals or be anything but a mess and I can’t talk to anyone about it.  This shadow is hanging over me too heavily and for too long.  I’m so sorry this is a total rant and probably no one will read but if you did, thank you.  I hope everyone is doing ok out there.",3.99074109536576,5.397734326184093,4.864159645091284,83.91589477211797,71.68990169794459,8.045282777990554,26.81561981360909,8.563005593585519,1.80425527894804,4457,151,894,76,84,1447,436,1119,0.172,0.696,0.132,-0.9955,4,2,3,0,0,0,86.0,1,2,5,11,61,62,7,5,42,2,107,18,3,10,12,159,175,93,3,18,34,2,8,8,3,6,10,7,2,5,68,48,3,6,30,13,2,19,35,31,1,18,40,21,126,30,121,124,14,145,2,6,5,2,47,54,1,16,71,627,194,19,0.04537267806225607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725690285073782,0.07550740575450741,0.0,0.0,0.09256493093328476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031725631468441214,0.0,0.07467569608503437,0.04039130304177298,0.0,0.05161797150829625,0.0,0.0,0.037884290963955035,0.11063505365111713,0.0,0.07721761435066704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932204776986561,0.0,0.07816908915830849,0.19028955878780268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049839756314562535,0.05852324752430454,0.0,0.039079421129784714,0.04605231314581988,0.0,0.09480958298560947,0.10400203992765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15180758929560476,0.2097775815814129,0.12312655482645787,0.0764568763500185,0.13006661487566193,0.04077803739518526,0.0,0.04277332281215733,0.0,0.13765073594827987,0.09724275082069646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15437590712444674,0.0,0.0,0.10516445555731416,0.0,0.04741070319860502,0.0,0.12893169278278194,0.03805644966649041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04830005949879188,0.040645007441563616,0.0,0.0,0.048229035058098786,0.0,0.05376684196470079,0.03041234969012445,0.04793872550566136,0.0,0.0450653070431485,0.08936589652265738,0.0,0.0,0.10244046150186384,0.0,0.09471457541030633,0.045025381857711926,0.0,0.05019814575435594,0.0,0.3241632844446551,0.14793915372563884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614419303462754,0.17733438910979105,0.04547534324859912,0.040064905994969084,0.08030678458036855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190122683762012,0.1287981751438986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04942414786616268,0.0,0.0,0.045724987718982174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03335413902300728,0.0,0.06998841291697762,0.0,0.0,0.04257918473192197,0.04445559096929516,0.04353630830862908,0.0,0.04761099312035983,0.04832042133228348,0.12298280363648988,0.0,0.048279728469901285,0.053235061616441225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291140403083058,0.15847068951273788,0.047404791492804736,0.09961115070570843,0.04289184651444335,0.05115087714504153,0.08690896683397943,0.0,0.14675826309215767,0.043415525191559584,0.0,0.09122414694067722,0.0,0.0,0.045384956553319006,0.0,0.0581337988010066,0.0,0.044800045785810885,0.0,0.0,0.11624405745919693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04591957253067622,0.14462459998074514,0.04130558202926608,0.047333598632328715,0.0,0.0,0.11259824448424816,0.051000791182664686,0.0,0.0,0.03844412288224402,0.1047903128424414,0.0448747387799452,0.050790998374829935,0.06423003012871441,0.0,0.07246935862159057,0.11380077154224305,0.1039484988440743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552642422017563,0.0,0.0,0.07293767987988621,0.03965772050815046,0.04177306594817652,0.0,0.0,0.12057436476495174,0.05814596006770294,0.13373527747949182,0.0720416764082211,0.07937152036653906,0.0,0.04300799351502517,0.043355538291887305,0.0,0.030805070063462482,0.0,0.04432251355884493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16057188652002888,0.18007359960747368,0.0,0.0,0.04079548661754608,0.08412185426624219,0.08188356936513548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03303185001531004,0.0,0.04623863524177035,0.03223144868969624,0.0992158014774945,0.0,0.17531110242245154
bipolarreddit,thatsanuglysweater,2019/08/06,"Sigh I’m not trying to be a bitch but I’m getting a little tired of reading your depressing shit about your mom. I’m subscribed to you for the funny, not your well-being. Make with the funny or STFU. I swear dude when are people gonna stop putting all their private shit out there for the world to see!  Suzanne doesn’t care if you’re sad for the 15th day in a row. You paid tribute to your mom and at first it was sweet, but ffs if you can’t try to get a little better what’s the point!  My mom died, I cried, moved on. I must be such a monster because I was able to pick shit up and move on. Or maybe that’s the bipolar disorder talking.  *shrug*.  Then immediately after I spill it all out I feel guilty. At least I didn’t say it to you and hurt your feelings.",0.6833205521472401,2.54174666871166,2.137726226993866,97.88119056748468,82.3128834355828,4.811196319018405,19.38995398773006,5.602791699666715,-0.4506070552147241,589,15,141,3,16,190,104,163,0.294,0.602,0.10400000000000001,-0.991,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,9,1,2,4,11,4,0,11,0,9,5,3,2,3,22,21,11,1,3,8,3,2,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,5,6,0,1,2,1,1,3,5,7,1,1,4,5,18,3,22,13,3,21,0,3,1,0,15,12,4,4,6,84,23,1,0.13643306100816066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831683276646854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066395534661654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13910259848468476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14986531111446724,0.08798803752473623,0.0,0.11750959552900607,0.0,0.14159597732405654,0.0,0.15636410792143454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13796931000106566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604989199667992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256128661966502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14605441358492074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27348353876269604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09107012764302833,0.0,0.13706534763247755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4793662563519909,0.0,0.2900135046219595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09458550597862336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897334171521324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13715290937750713,0.0,0.0,0.13646998173208127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084970461357868,0.0,0.0,0.10871948557554856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4201397295873248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406414807089438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965972644586064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15680973351482838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18525818544641845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266970679827033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,blemishedcucumber,2019/08/06,"I hate this Today is honestly horrible.
I've become much more aware of my illness and how it makes me feel/act. I can feel it taking over me today, it's bad. I hate it, I feel like a horrible mother, wife, daughter, friend. Everything. I am suicidal, but I'm not going to act on it. It's not worth it to me, but I do fucking wish I could be ""normal"" and not deal with this shit. I hate feeling like a different person some days, my husband has a hard time understanding, which I get, but I take a lot of it out on him and I feel terrible about that. Maybe I just need someone to talk with who can understand, idk. I just feel so tired and defeated today.",1.5528431372549036,3.205652911764709,3.753529411764706,88.33754901960786,78.70588235294117,7.4745098039215705,23.098039215686285,8.344100000000001,1.2997127450980397,500,16,111,10,12,172,82,136,0.299,0.605,0.096,-0.985,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,1,5,12,5,0,4,0,8,4,1,2,0,30,27,9,1,4,8,4,6,2,1,0,2,0,0,1,13,7,0,0,7,0,1,2,3,8,0,0,0,6,19,4,12,25,4,11,0,1,0,1,10,4,2,2,7,74,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155051841923573,0.0,0.14755083439207978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066688234361622,0.0,0.0,0.08616102393370338,0.13773585575322586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139583688437232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120071171871208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4053134047151484,0.1908879026205008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321912009964464,0.12351115669693265,0.06980054774493237,0.0,0.07592802612709883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967946438733555,0.3957073729335505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13054053893721393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11358204311479796,0.0,0.0,0.08917911648262902,0.0,0.13421927605242012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098211459282259,0.099062794984536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13089975008313198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11665447022763918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13713860169645709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319894680798895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14613684539997715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20090132465850716,0.1073827145219476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779033034478101,0.15355368277887135,0.3799118724964515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27816486992081396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15363354284256164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,probablygoingtodie22,2019/08/06,"Can't find a family doctor I went to a crisis center and the psychiatrist told me that I can continue to get treatment, assuming I find a family doctor. The thing is, I just keep getting rejected from every clinic because, despite being in perfect physical health, physically active and a non-smoker, I had the gall to write that I suffer from bipolar. How the hell am I supposed to find a doctor so I can continue to get treated? This is in Canada, if that's relevant",7.037999999999999,6.858842355555558,8.736666666666668,64.48500000000001,64.33333333333333,11.644444444444444,35.77777777777778,11.20814326018867,4.410377777777779,372,16,60,10,5,132,58,90,0.207,0.762,0.03,-0.9501,0,1,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,1,0,9,0,8,6,0,1,1,12,14,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,3,0,9,2,9,10,0,6,1,2,0,0,2,3,1,2,2,46,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11484618968392522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5785026152244944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587341558422244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35521133550223105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5165794045071295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952918681505223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20025916653945294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16745755337853788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12516382384991612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18002317385665215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17464762049269028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,palavenschmalaven,2019/08/06,"Been fighting for half my life, but am at a point where I just feel like giving up Let me preface this by saying that I'm not suicidal. I've been wanting to post here for a while, so here goes. I (33M) am at a loss at what to do anymore, and it's come to a point where I'm just.. Tired.

I've been in therapy for almost half of my life, I tried everything I could think of, and everything that was recommended to me to no avail. 3 years ago I finally asked for a second opinion on my original diagnosis (borderline), and ended up being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Everything finally made sense to me. Periodically bouncing between relationships being unable to commit or becoming uninterested when it no longer felt new and exciting, the insane spending of money i don't have and alienating my friends and family acting like an collossal asshole and being completely unable rationalize or sympathize with other people. And then dissappearing, sometimes for months at a time, while i coped with massive depression, only to start it all over again. Day after day, year after year.

Everything just clicked, and I was really excited to properly start treatment. I started with ziprasidone, gradually increasing in dosage, and then later we added lamotrigine and gradually increased that as well. I wasn't having any side effects (I'm incredibly lucky I'm told). And after a while everything just evened out a bit. I haven't had any manic episodes since then so that's good i suppose.

But even after all that, and all the work i put in, in therapy, I don't feel like things are improving. I had a hope of at least being able to hold down a part time job or maybe even study again. But right now I'm barely able to do 3 hours a week, and it's actually gone back from 8.

I started out taking things slow for a year, gradually increasing my exposure to normal society. It worked for a time, and i felt okay so i talked to my psychiatrist and started pushing a little harder I even started working as an intern for a local theater/venue as a production assistant. Everything went great for a while and then suddenly, without warning, the anxiety came.

One day, after work, I was chilling at home watching a movie when i notice a funny feeling in my gut. I ignore it for a couple of minutes all the hairs on my body started standing up, i started sweating profusely and hyperventilating. This sudden sense of dread just crept up my spine and i was convinced i was going to die. Now I've never had problems with anxiety before in my life so this was completely foreign to me. I didn't think I was having a heart attack or something like that, I was just convinced I was going to die. It's really hard to put that feeling into words. In a panic i called my dad and asked him to come get me (my parents lives close-by). I spent the next month at my parents house in absolute agony in and out of anxiety attacks, almost getting admitted twice, daily phone calls with my psychiatrist. Thing is, I already take duloxetine, an antidepressant, which is apparantly good for treating anxiety as well. Thing is I'm already on the maximum allowed dosage, so they couldn't increase that further, great.

But I toughed it out, and talked to my doctors a lot, and eventually it got better to a point where I could go back home to my own place. I slowly started to get back to my intern job, but only for 3 hours a week.

Thing is, it's been a year now. And every time a try to push myself a little, to go out and meet a couple of friends or go to a gig, or do more hours at work I just hit a brick wall. I can always feel my anxiety bubbling just under the surface, and often I have to leave social gatherings early, even with my own parents or brothers. It's either that or face another anxiety attack, being humiliated in the process.

I can barely maintain my intern position, and even though they're extremely understanding, I feel like I'm outwearing my welcome.

When I've finally started getting my mood swings under control and started understanding my disorder, I just get thrown another insurmountable obstacle my way. I just feel really fucking tired right now, not depressed, just incredibly tired.  I just feel like I'm done. I'm never going to kill or hurt myself, but I also don't feel like living anymore, know what I mean?

I'm really sorry for this long rant. I just really, REALLY needed to vent. I've been writing this post for a while now and I'm pretty nervous about hitting the submit button, so go easy on me.

Also, this is an alt account because my friends and family also use Reddit, and I don't really want them to know how I feel yet.",5.590703380276307,6.5791770631341615,6.782577723424993,73.21189536239086,67.54565952649382,9.8918005847171,32.39579232988745,10.026225930537654,3.366638484321556,3673,154,651,86,59,1241,363,887,0.11,0.723,0.16699999999999998,0.9944,6,0,1,0,2,3,110.0,1,0,2,9,55,43,6,3,45,1,51,17,7,7,7,133,127,73,4,9,32,5,14,7,3,0,9,1,2,0,35,48,0,3,21,0,4,21,15,16,2,5,29,17,85,26,109,87,16,152,0,4,2,1,30,52,1,16,82,454,120,8,0.08657414746474801,0.0,0.042241939727341804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03837137907117418,0.0,0.08669150307625365,0.0,0.09553672452990264,0.10384997167377152,0.0360183130005124,0.0,0.0,0.05887338903004383,0.09078054215576256,0.1986869575400104,0.0,0.08585829111764899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093514122868625,0.1477358864863155,0.0,0.09985526324578332,0.0,0.026387398371162687,0.04780717204474573,0.036834111502621135,0.0,0.0,0.03828389902955013,0.04725827326194863,0.04808218054442767,0.0,0.0,0.0884018841314736,0.049508880541814036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457596224197766,0.0907713464747044,0.0,0.04855013396544682,0.06912241214810702,0.09579264750314173,0.0,0.08374974452135901,0.0,0.07456618635304647,0.04393546865261583,0.08985029677326341,0.0,0.09922147342698948,0.04430615419545148,0.0,0.044297705379212994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03833949904270217,0.0,0.0,0.17154422370070582,0.0,0.036471226575706436,0.0,0.2334217842241846,0.0,0.08161440132795306,0.0,0.2188724511012645,0.15462147061787146,0.08312475820545676,0.1422566202551024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033045736220918,0.04001820214696638,0.11307854708541695,0.04152490548499002,0.17220729087179634,0.07261428741082508,0.034620627213220435,0.09544830321347396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0387767156164282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0512953907919972,0.0,0.0,0.08684092873166098,0.04299383135534154,0.12788714432818382,0.04994747125339012,0.04633970771505999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591148274866275,0.0,0.047890733571330606,0.0,0.04757888733707109,0.0,0.0,0.04583476092254831,0.0,0.044263965680326166,0.0917248209840974,0.1480351439776116,0.08677003960428102,0.07644655832328119,0.03830769808837948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03680112212685898,0.0,0.04095927580322874,0.0,0.0,0.04348768374232726,0.047152313335060834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910265854081639,0.0,0.0,0.03209681668403565,0.06677131965171039,0.04180692554955638,0.04603629399552432,0.0,0.042412141541738536,0.0,0.049282620349100734,0.0,0.0,0.02933244143933008,0.0658435403274364,0.0,0.050788054303880836,0.14419551809999856,0.04687568255761985,0.0,0.030009806575150236,0.0,0.04522577886633174,0.0,0.1227608288874315,0.0,0.08291410196649639,0.0440385159697408,0.0,0.04141988351487963,0.0,0.08703093014205182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19411565503280875,0.0,0.0,0.046474117453455546,0.0,0.07393384890178961,0.0,0.034423618447904425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03580751470769713,0.0,0.0,0.04412572040041925,0.0,0.03332450417426203,0.042812022768927205,0.04845633507846839,0.3370269494363211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04734903288685253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509298460790079,0.0695850203617436,0.0,0.0,0.09900508263770558,0.0,0.14379004173649346,0.055473217984549794,0.0425293301615797,0.0,0.1009641631950922,0.14925637040873002,0.0,0.04136265397807496,0.0,0.058778163252272586,0.0,0.0,0.09012674071209792,0.0,0.03738613339501953,0.0,0.0,0.05106367523352423,0.03435926428132518,0.06944455902414705,0.0,0.07784055570794257,0.04012755102454475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04172719437518015,0.0,0.15756752611864105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393772813059424
bipolarreddit,alissa0213,2019/08/06,"Trying to understand my bipolar I'm not sure what I'm looking for but I feel like my bipolar isn't the typical disorder. Other people tell me when I'm having episodes but I don't feel any different (well mostly). I know I can go from talking fast, super happy for 2-4 days to a depression that will last from a week to three weeks. It's usually about two but varies. When I'm in Wendy I think if my in between moods my thoughts are disoriented. I can't tell what's really happening or if my brain is making it up (this has caused a lot of issues in my life). I was diagnosed at 16 with depression and had my first episode in my early twenties. I was in college and my grades were slipping, I wasn't attending classes, I became sexually active, I had no concept that something was wrong. I just felt in a fog and was struggling with my paranoia (this kind I only get with extreme stress, even the births of my kids triggered it, good or bad, like when my grandma died). When I get this bad I see shadow people, I hear whispering, and I truly believe people are out to get me. I've only experienced two or three major ones. After the kids were born I had postpartum depression/anxiety. And since they are 13 and a half months apart I was depressed spring my second pregnancy. Sorry this post is all over the place, I'm having another restless night. And the pills that are supposed up help, aren't tonight. I know my mood changes are not as severe as others which is why I've always doubted if I really have it. My new therapist thinks I might have borderline personality disorder on top of it but I don't know. The worst part is I don't always notice that I'm slipping whereas other times I'm super aware. I don't even know why I'm making this post. I see my therapist tomorrow, maybe she call help get my thoughts to stop racing and get them unjumbled",3.3394249775381835,5.009124474393534,4.722487870619947,83.23108131177003,73.7978436657682,7.965534591194968,27.19146451033244,8.648137234880735,2.037423647798742,1464,55,288,28,30,487,191,371,0.13699999999999998,0.7120000000000001,0.15,0.8025,1,0,1,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,2,4,9,22,0,4,11,0,35,6,1,4,2,48,68,24,1,3,13,0,3,2,0,2,5,2,0,3,20,12,0,1,12,0,0,2,11,11,1,8,14,9,48,9,32,52,6,42,0,3,3,0,13,15,0,10,25,188,68,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15272225155447447,0.0,0.0,0.06240767390454183,0.09623027593745652,0.07020484160744142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15325050984723212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339489997117313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244719186839464,0.093708822412257,0.0,0.0,0.09427446952296176,0.09708193374616332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059184937165306276,0.0,0.2371276217775478,0.09314600180792844,0.09524418610232596,0.09588154193496916,0.2103558656968015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12122823966595145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09280471724191024,0.06556148015896637,0.08811490027918596,0.0,0.0,0.07806067459946646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23973374756818644,0.0,0.052155780540349986,0.07697346533308745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811531133388885,0.0976923225365909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343299599035108,0.0,0.12302482050141335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578546016212823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09556575254512813,0.20174056459753675,0.07480590951402921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06482082778244487,0.08966970495231141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706483182326199,0.0,0.0,0.078020731160634,0.0,0.0,0.12251619501511805,0.0,0.09219666917663036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735491377580212,0.0,0.0,0.07325102650284716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863335437736497,0.0,0.08612120753764396,0.0,0.0,0.10448230518336532,0.0,0.0,0.06218665072043394,0.1395925140772261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937944321893513,0.0,0.190868124312458,0.08013121450120353,0.09588154193496916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757831958670644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758217032604835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14625978947704807,0.0,0.0,0.10367551866025952,0.0,0.0759142199226775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065007888289185,0.0,0.10273052759517742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672496882877049,0.10512378640572644,0.09593935444574024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649342368333607,0.0,0.0,0.07376234544881552,0.16042443272953386,0.0,0.0,0.2131072517491058,0.0,0.11760676786072805,0.0,0.1457124227336549,0.05351261984857717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062306731536786834,0.0,0.17929457376057298,0.09553722551235323,0.0,0.0,0.10107319113042172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14722690388392784,0.0,0.08251347675416787,0.0,0.1656187622101421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033757907594508,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheReal_Colt45,2019/08/06,"Bipolar and Breakups Hoping there’s other out there who have the same problem but I was recently broken up with back in April (by someone who actually understood my bipolar and anxiety until they used it against me during the break up). I find that with bipolar, moving on after a break up is just not an option and it triggers the worst depression episode to the point where I get PTSD. I find that my bipolar makes me think about all the hurt and pain and prevents me from accepting what happened and being able to forgive them. Does anyone else deal with the same thing?",9.431111111111113,7.873224333333333,8.239555555555558,74.46100000000001,60.29629629629629,10.862222222222226,39.19259259259259,9.3871,3.6105014814814815,460,19,82,6,5,141,77,108,0.217,0.71,0.073,-0.9698,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,0,6,8,0,0,8,0,4,5,0,3,1,29,11,8,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,9,10,0,1,6,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,2,0,11,3,17,8,4,16,0,2,0,0,6,8,0,2,5,66,20,0,0.20567848997117408,0.0,0.20071253673299572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15734348186116467,0.0,0.0,0.14381518245093627,0.2107419189348989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15815406301232254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21204549184809268,0.17715058202852854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799906326166593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17181798628352982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37597282730726733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074585219433235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18188080941786489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042851490935604,0.0,0.0,0.2201830774578532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13729198917540786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21860368469752675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21885641474110168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944326541858839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968065374156016,0.24042714818755564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20308269560861966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17427071710064812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13664364951117294,0.13179047144010114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17764017752943131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gabbyrenee,2018/11/11,"Thoughts on mania Hey y'all. 
 I rarely write here but there's something that I've been thinking a lot about lately.  The fact that mania is usually  portrayed as folx deep cleaning shit,  and staying up all night.  I sometimes feel like because mania doesn't manifest that way for me i'm not valid.  Or that maybe it's all a ruse. Does anyone else struggle with these thoughts? Höw do you handle them?
Signed,
A trans pal trying to get stable",2.1587058823529404,4.860315988235296,2.301470588235293,93.70161764705885,83.23529411764707,4.341176470588237,22.617647058823533,5.6839178017228535,0.25502352941176465,349,12,67,2,10,105,70,85,0.09699999999999999,0.831,0.07200000000000001,-0.4871,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,1,0,3,3,1,1,4,0,4,1,1,0,3,15,10,4,0,0,3,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,1,6,1,7,7,3,8,0,0,0,0,6,3,1,2,4,36,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16201544348415414,0.2374119677426104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14124689133460788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027690099849515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19356208970341002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11715839842181985,0.16553206004747514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210577339060764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26137642997914945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132007006905212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969896397109287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327815745056204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174420233179053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378446715502516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17837994309532518,0.22916488555635398,0.0,0.0,0.2469696275508561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422312452757573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14846896769496631,0.0,0.3679001366522949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15731434984539128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551933468070541,0.0,0.0,0.18391882367551385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hulahup1,2018/11/11,"This video I was watching this girls youtube video and she is soooo obviously manic. She even mentions she's bipolar but says she isn't manic lmaoooo. It was very interesting to watch her though. The way she talks quickly and has clearly thought really deeply into the things shes paranoid about (calling the plumbers and electricians etc.)

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKADLrMItEQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKADLrMItEQ)

​",12.300537634408606,16.99436206451613,6.330322580645162,68.08215053763442,57.38709677419354,7.359139784946238,36.13978494623656,8.344100000000001,3.3341849462365603,376,16,46,5,6,94,48,62,0.038,0.841,0.121,0.7506,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,0,2,8,7,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,8,1,3,4,1,3,0,0,2,0,12,1,0,0,1,31,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3142718976891412,0.3524456868628845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961761596551299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32348534849886035,0.19157702306862448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18581513861030716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23066148902823985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23313331274268276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19269807550630344,0.0,0.2849752310986585,0.2302693848261075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393237921528997,0.0,0.2302302726553648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3524456868628845,0.0
bipolarreddit,sukiblue00,2018/11/11,I miss hypomania...:( Stable on Latuda for 3 solid years.   B\_O\_R\_I\_N\_G.    Work part time...yes.....sleep same time every night...yes.....fixed credit and had healthy relationship for 2 years....yet every day is the same..no more horniness...no sense of sexuality...weight gain....sleep and take naps....everything feels boring and not new and no extra energy or enthusiasm...no attention to read or learn new things...nothing feels exciting.  I miss hypomania.,3.1657714285714285,6.037143720000002,3.6486190476190496,78.44550000000002,98.46666666666668,6.942857142857143,21.357142857142858,7.7094869923839395,1.9763142857142848,349,12,56,9,14,109,56,75,0.078,0.6920000000000001,0.23,0.8686,0,0,0,0,0,0,56.0,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,12,7,6,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,4,1,1,0,2,3,0,0,1,2,2,2,5,6,4,6,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,2,5,22,2,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13655997419996335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3568137279952626,0.0,0.19030549295129245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141323518988072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4090151706412321,0.0,0.1987111998879401,0.0,0.20317796400204768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22930250249450065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118053511440487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22733816025401898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4238019420468305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15920818056441696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24694398054300376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25785207856517794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15415510166261584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13635880119739144
bipolarreddit,raviax,2018/11/11,"Attitude getting better, motivation - not so much I was diagnosed with Cyclothymia (pre-bipolar 2) earlier this year after years of trying to manage my depression. I wasn't improving, and my OCD wasn't improving, so my doctor and I tried a variety of medications with therapy. I'm currently on Pristique, Buspirone, and Trileptal. I feel like it's starting to help my attitude where I can recognize I'm declining and pull away from the negative situation. It's definitely an improvement. My motivation, however, has not improved at all. I have no interest doing the things I used to enjoy - video games, sewing, crafts, etc. I don't feel like leaving the house, whether it's for grocery shopping, getting dinner, getting my Rx, picking up a pay check, working my second job. I don't feel like working at all, cleaning, bathing, doing my nails, putting on makeup. I at least brush my teeth and change my underwear every day. I know this is all depression. Am I just thinking that because I'm not yelling at my boss, or crying for no reason, that I'm improving, meanwhile I'm really declining? I'm on so many medications, even for other medical issues. I don't want to add to it, but I don't know what else to do. My therapist says I need to force myself to ""just do it"" and I will start to feel better. I know this is true, but my anti-motivation is much stronger than my will to try to get better. Anyone have similar issues? OCD isn't better, but it redirects from one thing to another. I have trichotillomania, so not doing my nails has made it harder to pull hair, but I am biting them like crazy. I also impulsively shop, which is a big source of my depression (vicious cycle).",5.75995343247709,6.760174365930602,6.936259576385763,72.21932702418509,67.17034700315457,10.454499023584198,34.338140303439985,10.504223727775694,3.887977437284064,1322,61,232,35,21,447,164,317,0.09300000000000001,0.772,0.134,0.934,3,0,0,0,1,0,59.0,0,0,1,8,9,15,1,0,7,0,27,9,2,7,4,42,51,17,0,2,12,0,5,4,0,2,6,2,2,0,17,9,1,0,11,5,4,3,14,4,0,2,4,8,38,11,34,45,7,21,0,3,0,0,4,11,0,1,11,160,55,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08298200330709578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880818446037216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255592391363552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749200816608523,0.0,0.0,0.06325507297527279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3670920176107479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097711593562055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398258756900355,0.06692078452049373,0.0,0.26812170867919005,0.10532077610429348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10620937227179487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668356516555463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157270361390174,0.06853677044401342,0.0,0.0874277208421274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20986976695387308,0.22239234660206852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168547773362229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955247312717916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973256683448932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21661045687359895,0.10297220351627076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171082003704337,0.0,0.0,0.1098737020671366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20278021032173987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818633665602247,0.0,0.10520290711732376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136013853297415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15256058027185065,0.07694151780576497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07031484111049881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431395622649983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664754535589339,0.10668920667572528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251925659237305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663785252834392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14689287378330929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866599425760355,0.12048086182996222,0.13787565496565693,0.0664893598533128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21135185175766774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962090778716818,0.0,0.0,0.06120414862141413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108644244458985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13364440065053734
bipolarreddit,ele1993,2019/09/14,Rage and irritation no reason during mania? Anyone else have this issue? I’m having a hard time.,0.9683333333333336,2.7769408333333345,3.865000000000002,75.36750000000002,112.88888888888887,4.022222222222221,10.055555555555557,5.985473137389443,-0.3253777777777782,77,1,11,1,4,27,18,18,0.475,0.525,0.0,-0.8708,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974583198633219,0.4358853916729798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35537756620121946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38108605139747465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44402013709550736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4373949148947139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480614569401999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nillacoffee,2019/09/14,"Lithium questions So after years of taking different types of medications for depression and anxiety, my doctor prescribed me with Lithium and citalopram (I think that's how you spell it). I'm not diagnosed as bipolar but PTSD, though my psychiatrist thinks I might have it because it runs in my family. 

Today is my third day on Lithium 300mg twice a day. I know medications take a while to work but so far I've been having weird side effects from this drug. 

I woke up this morning with this weird/odd taste in my mouth. At first, I had thought it was morning breath but after brushing and flossing this morning, that taste is still there. I can't explain it. It's not metallic but just..odd. 
Will this go away? 

Also, last night I had grabbed a dessert from the fridge. I took one bite and immediately spit it out. I had thought that dessert went spoiled but when I looked at the expired date..it was still okay to eat. The taste I experienced wasn't a spoiled taste but a...i can't explain it..bitter? I don't know. 
Will this side effect go away eventually? 

Lastly, I've been feeling VERY restless!! I can't sleep throughout the night now. Tossing and turning for two nights. It's like I drank way too much coffee or soda the night prior. 
Does lithium do this?",2.1532084309133492,4.805293360655738,2.800374707259952,90.50639344262295,82.60655737704917,5.288992974238877,25.5175644028103,6.7097532225279775,1.0070285714285712,996,41,196,11,28,310,139,244,0.052000000000000005,0.915,0.033,-0.6289,1,0,1,0,0,0,39.0,0,1,0,4,11,5,0,1,9,1,20,19,4,3,0,31,40,20,0,0,9,0,2,1,0,3,6,0,0,0,18,8,9,0,12,0,0,5,7,3,0,5,14,9,21,2,22,23,1,37,0,1,1,0,4,12,0,3,20,122,39,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10071021352863864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963399681131724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366402489322081,0.0,0.0,0.07676883724455237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624353770689611,0.0,0.10846767353805936,0.12782142425764198,0.0,0.13157532274351896,0.0,0.12889985941470386,0.11020661041592594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14604467560465045,0.1288629952845885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11872035666851412,0.0,0.06367654491574215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712028870966356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14314358152877993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13842121935932114,0.20530774722222414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061525503925555364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10575372396699624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537326265194701,0.0,0.13359718609246565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09257675160221933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4727260512565609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533684871723389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14721133354839713,0.0,0.14107607694958785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602599821477078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20114378630056587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893749687194306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161388189278314,0.12373054665602047,0.19995672432890224,0.0,0.0,0.1193717016590932,0.0,0.13991847366611695,0.0,0.13698117061807044,0.12302024421295432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039096047635752,0.0,0.09996138044204583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11674305250919705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168221586291772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08109804288896726
bipolarreddit,ashishd7,2019/09/14,Help plz Is tms helpful ??,-1.032,0.625173800000006,0.5200000000000031,100.24000000000002,111.0,2.0,25.0,3.1291,-0.060999999999999936,19,1,4,0,1,6,5,5,0.0,0.295,0.705,0.7319,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tontoteen,2019/04/27,"Am I valid? I ask myself this question constantly, but today I ask it in specific relation to suicidal thoughts and tendencies. Is my illness valid if I am not having suicidal thoughts every time I have an episode? If I reach out for support for my suicidal thoughts am I really suicidal at all? If I attempt suicidal and fail, will it make everything worse? (The last one is one of the main reasons I don’t attempt for fear I’ll fail and it’ll be even worse and my family will find out and I won’t be able to attempt again). I’m sorry, this probably doesn’t make any sense I just need to talk. I’m really tired of not knowing who I am and what is real.",3.3367164179104485,4.545245358208955,5.1345074626865665,82.11758208955227,73.02985074626865,9.53910447761194,30.56417910447761,9.888512548439397,3.0265994029850747,514,23,106,14,10,176,74,134,0.37799999999999995,0.594,0.027999999999999997,-0.9967,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,5,3,4,0,1,3,0,17,2,0,3,1,27,29,10,5,4,7,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,7,0,0,0,5,3,0,2,3,0,16,1,12,20,2,9,0,2,0,0,5,4,0,4,5,73,23,2,0.12117690995988163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240445410602079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265681062641086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309491907806966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08003620618184558,0.0,0.10209677295847187,0.0,0.1089059931396818,0.0,0.11423480624136688,0.13635771289118714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075350039851037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06659566066397876,0.09877535488403044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16177305670469544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985114330820135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16422522054378966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13064920411784592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13574587179371578,0.0,0.0,0.1379258525361005,0.15525806286483013,0.12459004542461267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13564762980034756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6627393584388331,0.13751012141112262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09739741012598464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886027927478653,0.07065923067650327,0.13927503215531328,0.1148615417977874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469792473643207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,StakeESC,2019/04/27,"I try to be open and let my boss know I was having my first hypomanic episode. His response made me cry, I've never had a boss just get it. (image in body) https://imgur.com/a/Tdtwh6F

I've only been here in two months, I'm a delivery driver at an upscale bread and health food restaurant. I'm so grateful, this is the first boss that hasn't pressured me to return to work ASAP when I'm having an episode of any kind.",3.073571428571426,4.833003976190478,3.84,88.905,74.71428571428572,6.2285714285714295,23.904761904761905,6.868970318607317,0.7193761904761904,330,10,68,3,7,105,62,84,0.038,0.853,0.109,0.7034,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,1,5,0,9,4,1,4,1,10,15,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,3,4,0,7,1,7,9,0,10,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,6,41,10,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17138002035266253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799337770787841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768285472297612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.428730608420434,0.3047396337015772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166834130142374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26788200217434993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624366458723216,0.13850180556147632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577041839841306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23846432612212864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011573517723715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943708407043566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916700816331281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17110281878500347,0.0,0.2461837285203856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834711830117403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ann0v1,2019/04/27,"I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. Am I doing something wrong? I can’t see what I’m doing. I’m in a depressed phase and my SO keeps telling me I have an attitude and I’m being passive aggressive or I’m being mean to him. Honestly, I can’t see it. I ask him to explain how I am acting because he can see it first hand, but he tells me I know what I’m doing. He says it’s something new. 


Do I? Do I really know? I just know I feel so depressed and this has made me feel worse. It’s like he doesn’t listen to me when I say “I am depressed”. I mean, I’ve only recently opened up to him about my depressed phase I am in.. he feels like everything I do is being negative towards him. Idk. Maybe I am? I just feel like never speaking again.


Maybe this is meant for a relationship sub but I just will post it here for a while. I feel really bad and have been crying a lot. It feels never ending.",-0.6213311036789301,1.394428543589747,2.30011148272018,93.67264214046827,89.20512820512822,5.442586399108138,18.73467112597548,6.895973343053719,0.182052396878484,686,20,160,10,23,241,90,195,0.213,0.71,0.077,-0.983,0,0,2,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,10,12,1,0,5,0,27,1,1,2,2,31,54,12,0,0,6,0,7,3,0,1,0,4,0,0,11,5,0,1,14,0,0,1,7,8,0,1,3,14,31,4,11,47,1,16,0,4,3,0,18,5,0,2,12,107,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883059572696238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720013115316058,0.07096438557644627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12787439667344622,0.0,0.0,0.4010659576887707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10310751194962263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462464737037536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35317196777503235,0.16633117831449645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902097965658896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034733709350586,0.0,0.0,0.19193289494443466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17062077817264698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897031088560618,0.0,0.11015295256272198,0.0,0.0,0.2339053447792463,0.2536161312505495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17957002075621206,0.11243256128299313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853745863443763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149163359934472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14915451032897933,0.0,0.11494395738306327,0.12498417403271853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851528444079742,0.0,0.0,0.2782986640718081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792410854683302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035004766643353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119021149184822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11863496176078425,0.0,0.2545590446777525,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,beachtraveler1111,2019/04/27,"Trintellix & asthma & anxiety=bad? Not dxd with bpd, but mdd and cptsd. Question is i see many of you on here have taken trintellix. I started yesterday on 5mg along with dropping down to 10 (from 20mg) of lexapro. I have anxiety, but never as I drop off to sleep. I should mention too that I have asthma, but mild. 

This is all to say that as I was dropping off to sleep last night, 2-3 times I startled awake with the feeling like I had either stopped breathing or couldn’t breathe. I don’t normally even require a rescue inhaler and I was fine after each waking incident. I hesitantly took it tonight, but if it happens again I’m going to stop. I’d rather not die in my sleep! 

Could this be a panic attack in my sleep, interaction with asthma meds, etc? I’ve never had a panic attack in my sleep before, only while awake. 

Anyone?",3.3668956043956086,4.799124059523808,4.69166666666667,84.44307692307693,73.28571428571428,7.312087912087913,27.20879120879121,7.882392219407189,1.6448456043956043,654,24,130,9,13,217,107,168,0.171,0.727,0.10300000000000001,-0.9184,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,0,1,5,7,2,3,4,0,14,11,8,0,3,30,22,11,1,6,10,0,1,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,6,8,0,3,2,0,0,2,6,5,0,0,6,4,16,2,24,12,4,26,0,0,1,0,5,8,0,3,14,86,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685364727835816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479914438215042,0.0,0.0,0.08664837007701066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2819558124366752,0.0,0.0,0.1034687699381264,0.0,0.0,0.10544755320908396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15607402737430678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894074996771776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12861032292276775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820455332117512,0.08184858146641218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626581271869714,0.08852911111530178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07042709956465898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10958283691446796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101206774757343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060541489104207084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12563633591007353,0.0,0.0,0.1376481767724063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911508651786932,0.0,0.0,0.1162913639685625,0.12141616478560713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424742363688812,0.0,0.2907889366742684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138819761408897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098546868374341,0.0,0.0,0.09874890807009484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6200519387048237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771184627462106,0.0,0.0,0.20720683164232495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722592695765684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13768067237911766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ressurected_,2019/02/22,"Hypomania I can't ignore the red flags anymore! 

It's not just because it's finally spring, that I'm feeling this good. 

It's not just because it's spring, that I'm this active. (I'm getting up at 4 am cause I'm just not tired anymore. I never sit down)

It's not only happiness, that makes me laugh so much, even though I'm doing really well, generally speaking.

I have to admit to myself, that I'm hypomanic. I've been riding the high for a couple of days, getting things done, but it has to stop now, before it gets worse.

I've started dating this guy, that I've wanted to date for years.
He knows I'm bipolar, he just doesn't know what bipolar is, just yet. -Or how it affects me. -And my surroundings. 
We were on the phone last night, and i was... Not in control. At all. 
He was so confused, and i don't blame him.

I was at a meeting today, and i could. not. sit still.

Every spring is the same! 


April is rough.

may is soo good.

June is meh. 

Juli is sweet.

August is sweet

September is kinda melancholic. 

October is heartwarming and cozy.

The rest of the year is fine.

But spring? Soo sweet and full of promise...



Anywho... Tonight I'm taking my sleep meds on top of my regular meds. That usually stops hypomania. At most, in a couple of days. 

I should have done it yesterday.",-0.16411298516561598,2.1516942316602368,1.9662273928063416,93.10539067262756,95.10038610038609,4.888477951635847,18.78490144279618,6.5966054737557815,0.2242138996138996,982,31,209,14,38,327,142,259,0.065,0.775,0.16,0.9724,0,0,0,0,0,0,59.0,1,0,0,2,14,14,0,1,9,0,28,4,1,5,2,44,47,13,0,3,14,0,2,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,20,7,0,4,4,0,0,1,10,3,1,0,7,7,16,11,21,37,6,44,0,1,1,0,10,14,0,5,27,130,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26648306693148044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16380001872282154,0.0,0.11432404341083954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13801698004813195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15068770215002592,0.1072695027070192,0.2973168713682456,0.0,0.17329243714077794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749784146368427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873852921108506,0.0,0.1131977376457396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793263792818026,0.0,0.0,0.14717654701101662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21058083713909487,0.0,0.0,0.2253769293610245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330300530007165,0.0,0.14302068628563674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195074483603773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476731909489845,0.10951518235130958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968130676596439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984705791237998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09876451298484132,0.0,0.10362089561896956,0.0,0.0,0.12608067743673704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021810959412112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606962276225617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134449482420724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509535893413996,0.0,0.1072940438613648,0.22464933604224185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101632555362718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925780100524222,0.0,0.1320006045830744,0.0,0.0,0.1544183826155975,0.12735041762093416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14797024766340142,0.0,0.07924455872512377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079899184273032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13691662937505564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730371517974198
bipolarreddit,zhombeh,2019/02/22,"needing validation ive never posted on this subreddit before because i am not officially diagnosed bipolar, but i went from MDD to an unspecified mood disorder in less than a year. some bg: im a college sophomore. the first time i ever went to therapy was march of last year. i started lamictal in december. growing up mental illness was just not a thing to my parents, so i never saw any doctor or pdoc.

basically, ive had to do and learn everything myself regarding mental illness and treatment. but i think im reaching a burnout. the lamictal is great, however my focus issues, which ill just address as ADHD (i have vivid memories of almost never sleeping during pre-school nap time and instead lifting up our bed mats with my legs, and ive heard my mom say she has it) are still something i don't have treatment for.


not being diagnosed with anything as a kid has made this journey incredibly difficult, especially concering ADHD. while ive improved drastically since freshman year (i had a debilitating depressive episode where i ended up with a 0.8 GPA), i haven't made progress with the ADHD. last friday i went to an ADHD screening for testing at my school's psych services office as im required to have the school's insurance anyways. it was the most discouraging experience.

i told the woman that ive had focus issues and homework issues for as long as i can remember.  i told her exactly what my thoughts would be like in a class, my horrible sleep quality, my difficulties around getting my work done, etc. i talked to her about the very recent development regarding my mood disorder.

she told me that she thinks what i was describing is related to other issues, which were ""out of their scope"" and recommended me to a doctor who has a semester long waitlist for full psychological testing. which would be at least $400, $4,000 if i didnt have insurance. 

last semester i dealt with ADHD by meeting with a professor every week to go over assignments. i got accommodations from a few classes even without being registered with disability services. however, that's not 100% the case with all my classes this semester. i was struggling before that screening but now im struggling even more. i have a test tomorrow morning i have not studied for, not to mention i did not do at all an essay assignment, and i havent done the workbook pages due by the test. i had to ask for an extension for a paper in another class the night before because i hadn't even written it. ive missed meetings and work.

that friday night i tried to find coke. sunday night i took 5 shots at 1am. monday i bought adderall and took 3/4 of it, and ive never taken adderall before. i have not done anything but stay in bed because the thought of even trying to tackle my immense amount of work is so overwhelming. 

i know it takes a while to get a diagnosis but like i said, i am feeling so burnt out. how many more doctors do i have to see? how many more episodes do i have to go through and other self-destructive behaviour? my family is no help either, my father threatened to not pay my tuition when he found out i was taking meds and refused to tell him. the rest are just invalidating. 

i don't know what to do or figure out what i need to find out. i am so tired of not having anything. my chest literally hurts and im curled up in bed in the dark crying. im sorry this is so long but ive never had the chance or resource to really talk about this stuff honestly that im just letting it all out now. im just desperate for some reassurance and validation at the very least.",5.491317657497781,6.5145935291545225,6.6015971606033705,74.29417923691216,67.79008746355686,9.696995816960325,33.571935606540755,9.867487886160001,3.417484193180377,2835,128,509,64,46,952,312,686,0.11699999999999999,0.8290000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.9928,3,0,1,0,0,0,72.0,1,0,1,7,27,15,0,3,36,0,66,15,4,4,10,94,103,39,0,5,27,3,1,2,0,2,10,3,5,2,29,29,1,3,13,1,3,9,23,8,0,1,38,9,75,5,84,58,19,74,0,5,5,0,31,27,0,8,38,366,104,30,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3224290744944562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0537301747254184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03648889876184721,0.0562645036550694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246650206777916,0.04776649707477003,0.05016246258665807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812723102410847,0.0,0.18263411537811847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058940177585870286,0.0,0.0,0.04621507390214735,0.1089223429554225,0.0,0.0,0.12299214835521548,0.16476198855883167,0.0,0.1647305698137454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04752456490776121,0.0,0.05984222859821275,0.14176093058728553,0.048536225854214236,0.0452087068934395,0.0,0.04822384665177863,0.05248727175671605,0.050583458445796745,0.0,0.02713081356983145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09808385499070196,0.0456409905150164,0.0,0.058832612721914285,0.0,0.0,0.05606759488068128,0.0,0.06098951865736658,0.0,0.042914755962500856,0.059157516329987885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03596545055770616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05744139861238615,0.0,0.4636739374371492,0.22401770423675305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058977450826136986,0.13121392394245274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054868367155934336,0.0,0.05242862906594374,0.0,0.0,0.1424554360170741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015439330241308,0.0,0.10880044330088702,0.0,0.0,0.0596013189333862,0.0,0.10814815703587588,0.0,0.0,0.06284294448117214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795726228000008,0.2069196255818455,0.0,0.0,0.15106161597510326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05958023648769314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05138899462779426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03437432963603223,0.0,0.05298024809361451,0.0,0.06078341891061581,0.0,0.05104051226839936,0.04267054943689575,0.0,0.16291257982141258,0.042758032123744114,0.0,0.05597641151292312,0.0,0.0,0.044385988325413135,0.0,0.10739238025684916,0.0,0.0,0.04130811829034932,0.0,0.0600651103725687,0.037979011757588436,0.05719169101619497,0.04285090039096593,0.0,0.0,0.11218881181190188,0.06142493064580716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068743330716333,0.08625563451171513,0.04689896705450445,0.0,0.06136195820886085,0.0,0.03564761847297235,0.06876304110840865,0.0,0.08519602652719399,0.06257616879368558,0.061671333224655525,0.0,0.15381594826386746,0.11923077890089215,0.07285975832731524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885460138795463,0.0,0.0,0.04304076129369954,0.0,0.0,0.14922295159345428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051723856780008966,0.0,0.1171897647495126,0.0,0.0,0.07623341083894852,0.0,0.0,0.1036608951731056
bipolarreddit,paisleypoppy,2019/02/22,"An Ode to My Wonderful Sister Growing up I was a monster. I can say that now with hindsight. I don't care to get too into the details. 

My sister, despite all of my bullshit I put her through, has always been there.
And continues to be. 

I truly don't know how I'm so blessed.

When I was diagnosed she did the research to understand what it meant, why I can behave the way I do, trying to fully understand me. 

She's the only one I don't get snappy with when I'm in an episode. The only one who can talk me down. 

She's my go-to when I need to chat to stay grounded... and she's not afraid to reality-check or shut me down when I'm completely out of line. 

When I'm depressed, she calls, texts, or comes to visit for ""welfare checks.""

She knows more about me than anyone else in my family. 

She's a wonderful angel I never deserved, and I love her very much.",1.081784313725489,2.898963766666672,3.289411764705882,90.33794117647058,80.77777777777777,6.235294117647059,22.810457516339866,7.285733465282438,0.8139084967320263,658,22,145,9,17,225,105,180,0.075,0.8270000000000001,0.098,0.5987,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,1,9,0,13,2,0,1,2,22,30,12,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,8,0,0,7,1,1,4,5,2,0,2,5,1,30,3,24,24,3,23,2,1,0,1,18,9,0,4,8,102,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430448308255116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120205098847931,0.17614449855191394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755417106856618,0.0,0.1752760785948661,0.0,0.0,0.14808725081601784,0.18024680806251628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14806783860231548,0.1744873970239414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14361069306510968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16206364566153292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17963419483414453,0.0,0.09770173930818128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889570422107384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15515759044191316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12637534361566535,0.12747081498625493,0.132589387562921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23298448893642,0.261494148461559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17281937494656693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13671158549853227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18323567095683005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13817661956424485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671718798345752,0.0,0.0,0.3579335983290885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14184567701606407,0.0,0.13645600631937654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551241392838561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37286317890160176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,retroprim,2019/02/22,"Lithium and the horrible acne So I just got Reddit to post this, honestly. 

​

I started taking lithium carbonate for bipolar disorder in September 18. My dose was increased in December 18, and about a week later I started having terrible acne appear. I know this is a side effect of the medication. I've read all there is that I can find about lithium acne and that it supposedly is harder to treat than regular acne, and in some cases makes peoples acne worse in the long term (they never had problems with acne, suddenly it's coming back months later after clearing up, etc). I've been off lithium for about a month and a week or so now, and nothing's changed in regards to my oh-so-lovely breakout.

​

I started birth control (? I honestly have no clue if this will work, I used to take birth control for my acne when I was younger), I'm now using tazorac prescribed to me by my PCP, and I'm going to see a dermatologist soon.

​

What I'm trying to ask here is how long did it take for your acne to clear up after STOPPING lithium carbonate? What did you do to make it go away? Is it still effecting you months later (if this question applies to you)?",6.0151164254247975,6.515492088105731,7.004056010069224,73.7263986784141,66.44493392070484,9.128886091881688,35.15701699181875,9.04235418022936,3.2666893643801136,932,43,160,15,14,313,128,227,0.079,0.848,0.073,-0.3038,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,4,1,5,15,5,0,0,8,0,16,3,0,9,4,33,37,14,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,13,9,0,3,5,1,0,5,2,2,0,0,7,1,19,3,32,29,5,43,0,0,1,0,7,10,0,6,27,115,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3447197909977083,0.3865920064974845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914369946071223,0.0,0.09963873742803696,0.08154694453292544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11218826989009544,0.09135385044452678,0.0,0.0,0.2378912209245161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121544038747014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827529234536553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969290156394024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12054285607636275,0.0,0.08481895521428492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058283050294471374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877042208686411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158020366798502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683558128753592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25394753525970204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179334152811707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175913371789816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352265527168207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156788116541356,0.0,0.0,0.10147682256570748,0.0,0.0,0.11880178669508094,0.0,0.10608005230831237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450919806986272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251910811398661,0.0,0.08469274774226909,0.08866368002905009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.239212258296985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07200190750109582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831886380646811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701359974060673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07720664827227137,0.0,0.1080753892393728,0.0,0.0,0.3865920064974845,0.0
bipolarreddit,NoSock5,2018/11/21,"What do you do when you just got out of a depressive ep and you're surrounded by the evidence? I hope that title makes sense. Currently my bedroom is a disaster zone as a result of whatever the hell I was doing these past few days in an attempt to feel better. I'm looking at this like damn buddy, how do you live like that?

Trash everywhere, clothes everywhere, coffee cups, art supplies everywhere, smells like weed, etc. I'm feeling somewhat better today but I know I can only feel better once I clean up this mess because clutter stresses me out so bad. 

But it is so daunting. And if I dont clean up, I'll slip back. ",2.8477383592017738,4.8813684227642336,4.216437546193646,84.74886917960093,76.15447154471545,7.3995565410199555,27.4419807834442,8.296473431620573,2.0203723577235784,488,20,94,9,11,161,88,123,0.162,0.6629999999999999,0.175,-0.456,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,3,0,4,6,13,2,1,6,0,9,0,0,3,0,17,19,10,0,2,4,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,7,4,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,6,0,0,2,5,11,7,11,17,3,13,1,1,1,0,3,7,2,3,9,58,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15192379715858065,0.1649677602318612,0.1204405344508208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5242199168470479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274202158721282,0.0,0.17017197394751546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23155767490600646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22034953763220444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997011825463554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15801962686627571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962376113662178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10858263741746316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895770539630961,0.0,0.17446328379693418,0.0,0.16591413250372558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318835565631821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21041205940031835,0.0,0.1502654993801344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18860870877065256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263227131542033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872790061978612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,randomned,2019/05/13,"My soon to be ex-wife tried to use it against me, and will likely lose. I'm in the process of trying to get a separation agreement with my wife, so we can proceed with a divorce before the statutory one year. We've agreed on everything, except for the sharing of our dog.

I was the one who went to the attorney first; the agreement I had my attorney propose was basically that we keep our own financial stuff, split the furniture (our only property) as we had already agreed, and that we would share custody of the dog on an equal time and cost basis.

She came back accusing me of being unable to care for the dog based on my mental health history, and made all kinds of wild accusations. Good news: she has no evidence to back up any of her claims, and even if they were true, I would have to waive HIPPA rights to get any evidence.

Then I found emails from as recent as February where she discusses sharing custody of the dog.

My attorney says that she doesn't have a leg to stand on, and in the jurisdiction that we're in, the accusations related to mental health without real evidence of inability to care for the dog looks REALLY bad to the judge.

Yay for places that recognize that you can be a ""normal"" person with a mental health disorder!",9.889958506224069,7.027661917012452,9.672900414937759,68.63740041493777,60.53526970954357,13.789377593360994,39.45269709543569,12.161744961471696,4.588586390041495,986,37,189,25,10,324,136,241,0.081,0.789,0.13,0.9196,0,0,0,0,1,0,26.0,7,1,1,2,6,14,0,0,20,1,17,4,1,2,2,28,29,12,0,4,3,1,0,1,0,3,3,1,0,1,9,14,0,1,1,0,1,2,3,2,0,3,9,2,25,12,42,14,3,23,0,1,1,0,24,11,0,1,10,134,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174961085248047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747030793789327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975428091666326,0.10725177815333713,0.0,0.0,0.10930290937406376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469144893772764,0.2619300747231249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14721674116096914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484111589275105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544407745147114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926092399937322,0.0,0.1408406249460935,0.0,0.0,0.1342213907708739,0.0,0.0,0.1077391655770336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4096143523067839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417374537095992,0.0,0.13376264654837505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06275499711033551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786705054843912,0.14370456090386394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12154407500311253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3883472104756818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258553627109134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740843504877254,0.09769328249936418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215904272563527,0.1342046545210229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620612092775687,0.08228942832991824,0.0,0.12683052657500535,0.0,0.0,0.10969702344541377,0.0,0.10214992283093068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470464291687579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490120115260578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17442050287217856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11094099962290896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907598402982572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382282507071475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18249676034412324,0.0,0.0,0.08271866335802737
bipolarreddit,stealdear,2019/05/13,"Can't Stop Physical Urges to Cry For the last three or four weeks, I've started to get this physical urge to cry out of the blue multiple times a day. I find it really hard to control especially while at work, or making small talk with coworkers.

I haven't gone to a traditional doctor in over six years for any kind of physical or checkup. But I am scheduling a checkup with a doctor, bloodwork, eyes, the whole nine yards to make sure that it isn't anything like that.

Any other recommendations on what to do or work friendly coping mechanisms to old me over?",6.968654434250766,6.6833218440367,7.40876146788991,74.30225535168199,64.50458715596329,11.30336391437309,33.762996941896034,10.864195022040775,3.5580629969418966,447,17,86,11,6,147,76,109,0.092,0.84,0.068,-0.3849,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,7,0,5,5,1,3,1,14,10,6,0,0,5,0,1,1,1,0,4,0,1,0,7,3,0,2,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,4,1,3,4,4,20,9,1,18,0,0,2,0,2,7,0,4,11,54,11,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25473872922970536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413066049891905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100711311859173,0.0,0.0,0.4114770916160605,0.12079200152605628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3834157877694132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17118738456151505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14470631317227614,0.0,0.09785570649918156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16778261660441798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950425070998738,0.0,0.1526732301994138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915045588980526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25004633144914085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19653820992292595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998817923715498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257080263880164,0.0,0.0,0.15658988580094588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17652656682510987,0.0,0.0,0.15054339449804685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921522887417524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15023951405872826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20911202384323416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727109958004818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12061405707508498
bipolarreddit,SuckMyCupcakes,2019/05/13,"I feel like I will always be alone. I am I very codependent person. I know this. I tend to dump all my shit on to other people and get mad when they can't fix it for me or make me feel better. Despite fulling knowing this and knowing that it pushes people away, in those moments I feel like I can't stop. If anyone stops talking to me when I feel like they are mad at me I push and push and always end up making it worse. I just started seeing an old friend of mine. I've known him for almost 5 years. I love him. He was there for me for alot in highschool. I never used to see him as more than a friend. But the second I started having romantic feelings towards him it's like my mind just switched. I didn't want to lose him but ended up doing just that. 

I was really manic last night. I think I finally fully acknowledged that I had been sexually taken advantage of years ago and I just broke. I felt like he was the only person that could help me. I called him and texted him. I told him that I was suicidal. Just alot to dump on someone who you have just really reconnected with a few days ago. He wanted to sleep. And it just made me so mad and upset and hopeless. I felt like he didn't care about me and I just kind of went numb. I told him I didn't really want to see him again and yelled at him to hang up. He did.

Now, today, I realize that I'm not his responsibility. That him being tired and not being able to deal with a situation at that moment isn't indicative of his feelings towards me. And I realized I may have fucked up one of the few relationships I still have that actually made me happy. I think I realized that at the time as well just it's like I couldn't stop everyother reaction and feeling from dogpilling logic. 

I feel like I will always be alone because I ruin every relationship before it even really starts.",2.3749620712401054,4.025878398416888,4.098191787598946,86.77559902704486,76.36147757255938,7.059399736147758,21.870135224274406,7.865858978985527,0.8973858179419518,1439,38,305,22,32,484,182,379,0.163,0.7090000000000001,0.128,-0.9631,0,2,0,0,0,1,32.0,0,1,2,3,22,30,7,1,10,0,29,6,2,5,2,72,68,23,1,6,15,0,10,8,2,3,2,1,0,2,22,16,0,3,21,0,0,5,10,13,1,2,18,14,68,17,41,41,7,48,0,4,3,2,36,16,2,6,35,216,90,1,0.08147890047008217,0.0,0.07951165338610502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14445225822237767,0.0,0.0815893492179993,0.16877513627263707,0.0,0.0,0.20339091698920905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056971941687479384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076552109113032,0.0,0.0,0.049668781466749884,0.0,0.06933254309545543,0.0,0.0,0.07206146615317341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319906726715395,0.0,0.08307316931330525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06505427202688778,0.0,0.0,0.05254715022194672,0.08400116865814104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443322431951243,0.0,0.0,0.05381604531467738,0.0,0.06864948780220599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3295854419576597,0.23283417110432325,0.1564650440982953,0.08925615280778404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590079277206792,0.07532593055108043,0.04256936257801824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08673580464440032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054613589483586515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484773652857604,0.13433601852307028,0.06641617872709801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3184518008915835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115404813044108,0.0,0.0,0.07353788882291358,0.15419461140437274,0.1087755975156219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227046245119086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06284155105741056,0.0,0.0,0.07646242855908268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085498399817017,0.0,0.05521221164904592,0.061968375387370024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297442087125267,0.14228846620555466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20878988011048324,0.0,0.0,0.174955692955193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947844036975496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363692044927754,0.0,0.09158569796047776,0.08153774355756116,0.0,0.0690368079592747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17301355536697013,0.0,0.06506915516599407,0.2043600275299229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912469255359208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06548965383195705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044167788948486,0.0,0.0,0.04751100210006553,0.09364801005989733,0.07723247056787093,0.15571316220146747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037160933278336,0.0,0.06722862604858075,0.1441750996283183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07325931674517358,0.07553175703793905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303396051622237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10493948102409377
bipolarreddit,fspark69,2019/05/13,Trying to find a new psychiatrist Any tips? I live in Cincinnati. My last psychiatrist recently passed away.,4.5966666666666685,8.01392088888889,5.105555555555559,69.14500000000001,90.11111111111113,9.066666666666668,28.222222222222207,8.841846274778883,3.873755555555556,88,4,13,3,3,28,17,18,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777768817309097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3837755353207639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3733385812118799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33296149303105776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3606907456824788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39450752216713103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4033196015266425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2773275867260614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bibliophilegirl,2019/05/13,"The worst I’ve been in a long time Right now I’m absolutely exhausted. I’ve been up since 6 am Saturday with one tablet of 12.5mg of zolpidem er running through my system and not fucking working. My entire body shakes when I move it. When I close my eyes to try to fall asleep it’s like I’m dreaming while I’m awake there’s a song on repeat and there’s people talking that I’m not controlling, whole pictures and scenes like a movie when I close my eyes and I can’t stop it. And when it turns black I see shapes moving in front of eyes even though they’re closed. When I look at the windows or walls there’s what looks like thin smoke moving in front of my eyes. I have no idea what to do I’m just scared and tired and want this to stop.",1.5778167115902946,3.2274407484276746,2.3462039532794243,98.46976415094342,78.62264150943396,5.549146451033244,19.53324348607368,6.1826913282559595,-0.3286643306379156,585,13,141,4,14,182,96,159,0.128,0.8140000000000001,0.057999999999999996,-0.8883,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,12,8,1,2,5,0,6,9,6,1,0,20,17,15,0,1,4,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,1,0,8,11,0,3,1,2,0,8,4,5,1,1,2,10,12,3,16,15,2,35,0,0,8,1,1,13,1,1,16,74,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18828527938496065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190117740800356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195849730830199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15670750133229186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913540053422393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484392773879218,0.0,0.0,0.15000932893425428,0.2846882142320748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5404808335083209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486307128571595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751556920489176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14475898595755565,0.0,0.0,0.1697071728536676,0.0,0.13507600449862875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14021884686760916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834327130300837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13624418497111468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16654084155208485,0.0,0.0988415326624564,0.19482461821399089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150848689096272,0.18437613061667613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09998026554643484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189249733282395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12340391114264325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sailor_earthh,2019/05/13,"Can I get some validation and support? I have bipolar type 1. I’m a grad student and it’s a huge trigger for me, but I’m high functioning. 

I just took on a very demanding full time job, am planning a wedding, and am in school full time. These classes are very hard. I am currently not on meds or seeing a therapist because I literally don’t have time. I’m always behind on everything this semester and have been drinking a lot to cope with the constant stress, depression, and anxiety. I’m unable to do much self care or see anyone. 

I just realized that I missed a due date for a school project. That’s not like me, but it happened. It’s evidence that I need to just drop this class to preserve my gpa and take it over in the fall. This means I won’t graduate in June anymore. 

So, I’ve wasted money and so much time, but I can’t keep this up. My husband is upset with me and I know my dad will be furious. I think I’m doing what’s right. I can’t go on like this. I’m not me.",0.3172463768115925,2.4427690338164254,2.7412560386473435,91.43913043478264,85.71497584541062,6.305314009661836,23.0096618357488,7.586124646067393,1.0700415458937194,758,29,170,14,23,260,116,207,0.195,0.767,0.038,-0.9858,2,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,5,9,1,2,10,0,18,2,0,1,0,30,39,15,0,1,11,2,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,14,10,1,1,4,1,1,3,7,5,0,0,2,3,20,4,18,34,6,27,0,2,2,0,4,14,0,4,11,107,34,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271911621523909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693692702782035,0.0,0.15159532634852613,0.10688275927818164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318159528900044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15585021846185332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16518657208915175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165746962358854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974389542648006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373800600023304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986266218572441,0.0,0.08687344866083221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13517295211138486,0.0,0.13693188583363422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16150421665905396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15168924392547267,0.13586834713410745,0.0,0.0,0.08400745995840582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14935864114966085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299554893578906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16650856277401851,0.16979219493649894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247383107676408,0.11334321558526815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13054098569364025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30940349425892233,0.2436181029339303,0.0,0.1594655612583093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17509978312537938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17346289387543767,0.0,0.0,0.11493115127475312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17748139997400905,0.0,0.09794605127241003,0.0,0.0,0.356533890200375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698322790154798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522498212881696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,roundcrash,2019/05/13,"Daylio app users- how do you organize your moods? Hello, for people who use the daylio app what did you label your moods? If you added more then default moods, what did you add and where did you put it under?",1.3951219512195152,3.9669841219512207,1.7104390243902436,97.40468292682928,85.82926829268294,4.255609756097561,13.078048780487805,5.6839178017228535,-1.1110331707317074,163,2,34,1,5,49,29,41,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,7,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,2,0,5,5,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,7,0,2,2,1,4,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,1,1,24,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4635081430744633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6721060450551042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5774371528608538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,plmtigr,2019/05/13,25mg Lamictal increased to 50mg only after 3 days? Is this too fast? I’m panicked! Also hella itchy!,-1.0864285714285735,0.6829630952380974,2.7527380952380973,84.67767857142861,108.5238095238095,4.0047619047619065,19.535714285714285,5.985473137389443,0.5970857142857144,79,3,14,1,4,29,20,21,0.282,0.624,0.094,-0.6413,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6256314951471261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5045401268638093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5949995736672613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,illegalcheetah,2019/07/12,"Just venting Last night I went into a full manic psychosis episode that was on its way for a while looking back. I decided I wasn’t happy where I was and I wanted to move across the country. Thankfully my partner helped stabilize me and i feel better today minus the slight visual disturbances, memory problems (can’t remember coworkers names), blurry vision and headache. I hate this disease.",6.966857142857144,8.797141971428571,6.895714285714287,70.55928571428574,65.0,9.6,35.42857142857143,9.888512548439397,4.0312285714285725,318,15,46,7,5,101,57,70,0.14,0.7020000000000001,0.157,0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,3,6,1,1,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,11,10,4,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,4,2,9,3,5,6,1,13,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,0,5,33,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21046287294590404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420705463716337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13839388141444586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913649241554969,0.0,0.2702278217670847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18345923489131932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22310676607953928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22984394572900704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909059599336208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568543612317837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26189949527756234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31005532683451364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519915362016781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25944110418536537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16143877813988852,0.21725493192550308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537280278993909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,afreelunch,2019/07/12,"Can’t stop talking Oy, I’ve always been a blather mouth but the last (going on) 4 weeks have been terrible. I can’t stop talking and when I’m alone I basically want to scream and scream and scream from the frustration of having no one to talk to. 

I try so hard not to talk so much. I really hold back when I can. This past week in therapy I don’t think I took a breath the whole hour, my poor therapist... I could tell she was worried/annoyed. I was just constantly interrupting her. I don’t even know what I was saying.",0.7324999999999982,2.9611616944444457,2.6700000000000017,91.95000000000002,84.83333333333334,6.562962962962962,20.11111111111111,7.793537801064563,0.7489666666666661,405,12,91,8,12,135,73,108,0.33399999999999996,0.653,0.013000000000000001,-0.9886,0,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,1,0,5,0,13,2,2,0,0,13,19,8,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,0,3,2,0,1,2,6,5,0,1,6,5,14,0,8,12,2,15,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,11,58,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17910317342481505,0.0,0.0,0.14389148971842722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13297238161836422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18687573520957573,0.0,0.13807041513549978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142185360936372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09828001987911293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549111802198031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17030106983778032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503772397639744,0.14096090975814546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271233385477436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171817429573586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16508111084808827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107832911074264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375207589510712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891541985794728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5559778572525558,0.15114831255910674,0.0,0.19776035638083306,0.20078488636635305,0.0,0.11080646635446756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921314281296832,0.11740801787637994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199850697817564,0.0,0.27742779209791457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930700037184545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DyingOK,2019/07/12,Music and art therapy What has been people’s experiences with music and art therapy to improve mood and mental health?,5.8000000000000025,8.82066447619048,7.047857142857144,63.23464285714289,70.90476190476191,9.914285714285716,29.54761904761905,10.125756701596842,4.091076190476191,98,4,13,3,2,33,16,21,0.0,0.868,0.132,0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32948429748305863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3580344574827532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3394453393407098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335154579033437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7703887443928474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MoodyMom,2019/08/20,"Advice Needed for Bipolar Type 1  I'm about to start a highly stressful job. I'm absolutely ecstatic because it's a step into the field i'm interested in. I am a little worried though, stressful situations usually put me into mania. I cannot afford to have a manic episode because I will be taking care of patients. 

I guess what i'm asking is what do I do in order to not go into mania?",2.516274864376129,4.427085835443037,5.689909584086803,74.36987341772152,76.72151898734177,7.0459312839059685,27.74141048824593,7.957251820313856,2.1771613019891505,307,13,53,5,7,113,54,79,0.12,0.754,0.126,0.1027,2,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,2,5,0,8,1,0,0,0,6,19,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,0,0,6,2,11,17,0,13,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,1,2,35,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21150791541824254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023472076594278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638861832693869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206804851539894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12301089460561199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23843898284435974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286864223771279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21478863663132192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21693512800347312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049150300288098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217587384501964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24329367022052314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532011504725567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4958748915700114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16273998505062767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126564819972508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23838400140476065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198107848344071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nessssy,2019/08/20,"I want to help my friend I have an online friend of 3 years, he recently told me that he has bipolar. He is really special to me, and I want to be there for him. I know he doesn't really have friends. Sometimes he disappears for months. And I don't want to annoy him and text him all the time. How can I help him without annoying him? I've already told him stuff like I'm here for u etc and he was really happy and appreciated it. But i know that he's going thru a hard time :(",0.07977934686672228,2.047012388349515,2.7258958517210954,92.19692850838484,85.31067961165049,6.463901147396292,19.072374227714032,7.686295010490155,0.5028330097087372,368,10,87,7,11,128,62,103,0.08199999999999999,0.627,0.29100000000000004,0.9681,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,3,8,2,0,3,0,9,1,0,1,1,14,18,7,0,3,2,0,1,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,3,1,16,6,10,14,2,7,0,0,0,0,20,0,0,0,6,53,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20008648140640328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022150329365922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42025238546285465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304594107692228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930140285022696,0.16242333252192254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430643022316565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19929283117774332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858173568845684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472453259513252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484666110712561,0.0,0.17902746712810513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179325951143412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20756319850762972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21145338885388373,0.0,0.0,0.3465100122210363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32083424951283196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747819499270699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11676142317718999
bipolarreddit,darrrbz,2019/03/24,"Recent decline in Sex Hey everyone, recently i started taking 3 different medications and since then my sex drive has decreased and i have stopped getting as wet as normal. does anyone have any solutions? Or is my only option switching medications? ",6.585000000000001,9.80063964285715,7.3288095238095226,61.220357142857154,69.23809523809524,9.914285714285716,39.07142857142857,10.125756701596842,5.404171428571429,203,12,25,6,4,67,35,42,0.055,0.903,0.042,-0.1431,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,0,6,7,6,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,3,7,0,7,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,2,5,15,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703186668313163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175124656874029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616732105906358,0.0,0.0,0.21917573124301706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23932143870826605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13085292152610506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5046161364344051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453937007486936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19048307211090126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4945901646739642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071797893083916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17727404415084322,0.0,0.0,0.20939242862310026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18831174051881835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Tylerb0713,2019/03/24,"I can’t wait to feel like a god again... My mania state is very odd. I become extremely self confident and I just feel like I’m unstoppable. And then I crash, hard. I think I’m currently on my up and I’m making a lot of changes in my life. 

I can’t wait to feel on top of the world and hopefully these meds will keep me there. 


I have just recently been diagnosed with bipolar 1 and I must say I’m terrified of what’s to come. I’m praying this brings my confidence back in myself. I can’t take another crash. I know for a fact I won’t make it out of it. 

Good luck, everyone . ",0.06993230769230863,1.9603108240000042,2.603200000000001,93.5249846153846,84.76,7.366153846153848,20.815384615384616,8.384062270229773,1.0628523076923075,443,14,108,11,13,153,78,125,0.121,0.667,0.213,0.8906,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,4,0,9,3,0,2,2,25,28,6,0,2,2,0,4,2,0,3,3,1,0,1,5,8,0,3,5,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,5,17,5,15,24,1,16,1,0,0,0,2,8,0,3,7,62,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21321432923318848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15635195581025485,0.0,0.0,0.224567377061188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21510132006482285,0.1751549769229211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20638060218323165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19429517193470314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084366434104909,0.29052492844797057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17054763295508962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18214809503642124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019573951842075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807333657574301,0.0,0.0,0.11174752109134772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362142456035976,0.19867828297999507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17286802618657432,0.0,0.0,0.27145519521661404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22585919029342236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20076864321312032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16170004150351402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21212260409825007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15288250897583822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13028876763798258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16777255400083008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,NoBiscotti5,2019/03/24,"What can you do when you're thinking about suicide? I'm seriously considering it and I think I'd be better off dead. My question is: When you're suffering from emotional pain, and the pain hurts so much that you think about killing yourself not just because you feel worthless and like you're a bad person but because you want the pain to stop, how do you care for yourself? Is there any drug you can take for emotional pain?",4.837389558232932,6.217334686746991,4.732710843373496,85.77007028112452,69.6024096385542,7.9429718875502,30.700803212851405,8.344100000000001,2.1122706827309234,341,14,68,5,6,105,55,83,0.33,0.5479999999999999,0.122,-0.9667,0,0,1,0,0,1,7.0,0,6,0,1,8,13,1,0,3,0,7,5,0,1,0,14,15,8,3,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,5,0,0,0,1,10,0,0,0,1,8,3,7,14,1,4,0,3,0,0,8,1,0,1,4,40,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063128450047689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13053280695264693,0.19060016345795355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382651921610892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15939347798058964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18129842812218352,0.0,0.0,0.35171062052084523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904743842032996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16735935352263856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17296100052046767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637715722909404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149238715937533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6654038722365374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365052861983109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751304584758861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307026717830477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17100460759467548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754411454020575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3005185732979101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09221015946109663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ashxgxo,2019/03/24,"Dealing w mania? Hey all, I’m new to this..
I’ve had a few acute psychotic episodes / manic episodes over the last three years.. all of which have resulted in a short term stay in hospital. I’ve lost a long term relationship and left jobs because my delusions feel so real to me (ridiculous in hindsight but they feel real and I cannot help but believe them during these times).
I’ve resorted to moving home to my parents, and am trying to find a new job whilst learning more about myself — my question is does anybody have advice for how to keep it together while in mania? 
The medication I am given at the hospital usually makes me aggressive and labile and I can’t bare to go through these episodes for the rest of my life, I’m beginning to think I’ll never settle down or have children because I can’t get it together..

TY in advance x",4.4277272727272745,5.744975121212121,5.3628030303030325,81.10420454545455,70.51515151515152,8.40909090909091,31.32575757575757,8.841846274778883,2.6137575757575764,665,29,126,12,12,218,107,165,0.044000000000000004,0.9259999999999999,0.028999999999999998,0.1084,3,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,2,3,3,2,0,8,0,10,2,0,3,3,23,22,11,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,6,5,0,1,6,0,0,3,4,3,0,1,3,2,13,0,22,19,7,27,0,1,0,0,9,10,0,2,13,77,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15808376770766366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19723196654238173,0.0,0.0,0.18226400049462255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16678198253559412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14156959567500574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635956805799782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14785858678556635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452028465142465,0.0,0.09193994300351488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843376196974933,0.0,0.16227260176613634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3210716428491932,0.1437922435917251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186747443507407,0.0,0.0,0.1757680213097323,0.0,0.11426582346223367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14316497824847918,0.0,0.0,0.17659552854164096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10798546076769992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16297037541737022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17194025492208256,0.0,0.0,0.1247701506823136,0.31248484694274264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17963098143430947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18122400369445524,0.0,0.0,0.3682686608333427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17368482958675968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17242965440811822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365830423703196,0.0,0.0,0.0943317723917612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983398746751924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17817130403263978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417720950218293
bipolarreddit,gotigergo,2019/02/02,Expired Quetiapine (2017) Is it safe to take them for 2 nights? Very low dosage (only 25mg). Won't be able to pick up my prescription until Monday.,0.7101724137931029,3.2320888965517263,2.699568965517244,88.62107758620691,91.06896551724138,5.658620689655173,17.594827586206893,7.1686216300943375,0.4199586206896551,114,3,23,2,4,38,28,29,0.08199999999999999,0.8190000000000001,0.099,0.1298,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,5,2,0,5,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,11,3,0,0.5195104136225437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4875253305841914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39511107959576014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3906071771754507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4286504987705104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,coldhandscolderheart,2019/02/02,"Hypomania or am I overthinking a normal mood? I have a real problem with getting oddly anxious about hypo/mania. Right now ive been doing great for about 3 weeks and I'm worried I'm actually hypo, and to be honest, the only thing missing is productivity. 
Instead of working on coursework or assignments like I usually do when hypo I've just been playing video games and partying. I've had loads of energy, not much of an appetite, some confusion, a bit impulsive, far more sociable than usual. 
Idk validate me Bois or tell me I'm overreacting. I shouldn't worry anyway as I'm clearly not a danger to myself or others. ",4.228050847457624,6.3572760423728845,6.612000000000003,68.6749491525424,72.47457627118644,9.126779661016947,31.29152542372881,9.642632912329526,3.596265084745763,495,23,78,13,10,176,87,118,0.10099999999999999,0.66,0.239,0.9537,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,7,9,1,1,6,0,11,0,0,0,1,18,17,9,0,3,7,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,8,4,12,12,4,8,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,6,6,55,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.21034635378350044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24351089542533036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353254971461683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11261632502712778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376453672034018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530716618364236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845453907232976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21119388425432573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16393599249312532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062528739856357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453438448341391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840790886741121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18840078046816527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14320228277808794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4747972056222542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729017402505492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569234500483403,0.4378043232347841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,oblbious,2019/02/02,"Is it mania or genuine confidence It's more than likely that it's mania since I'm on reddit posting about it after drinking champagne and finishing crocheting a stuffed animal cat wearing a scarf.. but 

I HAVE FELT REALLY FINANCIALLY CONFIDENT AND WANT TO APLY FOR A CREDIT CARD WITHIN THE NEXT HOUR or I never will. I have refused to get a credit card for 9 years now.. (currently24). My recent stability has helped me succeed financially to the point I confidently have bought myself things that aren't necessities! I am now sure that this is just mania and a bad impulsive decision as I am constantly deleting random rambled jumbled sentences into this impulsive post.

​

I just would really appreciate some sort of advice or anyones past experience having a credit card even though there's a chance your mania could destroy you ",5.9541249354672185,8.649285228187921,6.777986577181211,66.88207537429014,69.20134228187919,9.685286525554984,32.266907589055236,10.035473477838034,4.05653701600413,685,31,98,19,13,226,104,149,0.055999999999999994,0.67,0.27399999999999997,0.988,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,1,8,8,1,0,9,0,13,2,1,0,2,21,18,9,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,10,4,1,1,2,1,4,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,12,6,13,13,2,17,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,6,12,74,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868824839784531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20721397003309736,0.2323837114705645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13372301031915676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596816579221207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20666799615990947,0.0,0.15269363886659598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18734737584037592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631557517254774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870743904888572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18362527313284333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991766372518224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12818754941056915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18833788564251966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343268852055367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14749999967736255,0.0,0.2033913178564194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825650737617973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18078842149332974,0.0,0.3663198534071132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24503299752100235,0.0,0.18883144976559335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15819991084142634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18024622961298387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270547367963991,0.0,0.1878973253137064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280130630572067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13585502151536494,0.0,0.2323837114705645,0.12315556472385257
bipolarreddit,destinyl3gacy,2019/02/02,"Please give me advice on anti-psychotic options etc I don't want to make this to long. I have tried so many different  anti-psychotic over the last 10 years. Although some have worked great for me, I have had such bad side effects that I have had to get off. I'm currently taking 400 of lamictal and have an appointment Wednesday to add another  anti-psychotic. I'm having such a hard time with this because I desperately want a new doctor but have to be on long waiting lists to switch. I have already tried  Abilify. Geodon Risperdal. Seroque and latuda and none of these worked for me. The only other pill I know I have been recommended was one called Saphris and I took it one time and my entire mouth went numb. I know going on reddit to get medication advice might be the silliest thing ever but because I'm on a waiting list for a new doctor I'm desperate for advice. Thank you all very much.",2.6748253968253977,5.1793241428571415,3.84509523809524,84.8115158730159,79.0,7.088888888888889,24.579365079365076,8.167268648758528,1.7029555555555556,715,26,135,14,18,232,105,175,0.081,0.847,0.071,0.0844,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,3,4,4,0,0,8,0,17,6,1,2,2,22,36,9,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,7,7,0,2,3,0,0,3,2,2,0,2,6,1,15,2,20,27,5,21,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,3,11,86,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3985505516636668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002580616333505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14255694956969214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351378238809465,0.16574948461615593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13882163114175985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420403298767575,0.0,0.27830414048114577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15162180433888486,0.0,0.12297587025419345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14205804328959118,0.13041701925403595,0.07726434226470456,0.0,0.0,0.1498869540167442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217857959721063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14943072340447253,0.11081857727434342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406255109226377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09074864882229072,0.1378334322816623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369567834599778,0.0,0.14422300464480595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099939958818346,0.0,0.0,0.2626055159267921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842484424844158,0.10339720423615588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14923386708482608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221857133401377,0.0,0.0,0.1251658298748796,0.0,0.0,0.09032010270783357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15854876804164664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15104706369695453,0.18460422146799127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217418456766597,0.16037537565304272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602835656006606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19794855013026946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754827671418909
bipolarreddit,double-d-struction,2019/07/22,"Medicine that doesn’t make you gain weight/ works? I used to be on seroquel but it made me gain lots of weight. I was wondering what medicines worked for you guys?

I have also unsuccessfully been on lithium, lamectal, citolopram, and Xanax. Probably more that I’m forgetting, sorry for the spelling.",4.314968553459122,7.475432981132081,3.4399056603773595,86.1333176100629,77.67924528301887,6.552201257861638,31.474842767295605,7.793537801064563,2.4075937106918253,240,12,42,4,6,70,45,53,0.08900000000000001,0.7829999999999999,0.127,0.4871,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,3,0,8,10,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,6,0,6,6,2,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,0,27,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19947269324288844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24697938801276945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21206030661419112,0.0,0.23602097119719684,0.16649947708525706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26893259743413106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792215204394647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21543133612984655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6074880876656319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27050109367995023,0.36318259846508105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Actual_Sheepherder,2019/07/22,"How bad does an episode of manic psychosis have to be until I should go to the ER? Hey, throwaway here, about 5 and a half months ago I started getting increasingly paranoid, especially about my meds, so I stopped taking them.  A month later, I started working graveyard shift and drinking pots of coffee to keep me going, and I kept getting more paranoid but I figured I was just aware of the people around me working together against my interests, so I started keeping tabs on everyone while getting increasingly anxious.  



Between then and now, I've been off my meds and my drinking has ramped up to help fight the paranoia and anxiety, but it's been getting steadily worse.  



I then started looking for the surveillance devices I was convinced that CSIS (Canadian CIA) had planted while I was at work but I couldn't find anything in my apartment, mailbox, car, computer etc so I went online to buy the components for an RF detector (it's just a coil attached to the leads of a voltmeter, real simple, takes like 5 minutes of soldering to get one running if you have a spare multimeter) so I could find the bugs.  During this time I sent a request to CSIS for a copy of my file and asked them to include any internet surveillance records they might have (the file should arrive in the mail in a week or two, this is something they actually do if you ask nicely) 



Fast forward to yesterday where I found myself hiding in my bedroom trying in vain to brush off the insects I was convinced were crawling all over my back and arms (not as bad as it sounds, maybe one crawling-sensation every 30 seconds to a minute so lots of downtime) while having what I would describe as a mild panic attack and I had a moment of clarity where I realized I had turned into a crazy person.  



I haven't phoned my psychiatrist yet and I'm afraid to because I ditched my meds and haven't been in for an appointment in half a year and skipped out on my blood tests.  What should I do?  I don't want to end up in the psych ward again, especially because I've only been at this new job for a relatively short while and my benefits haven't even kicked in yet, so they'd probably just get rid of me if I had to take time off for a hospital stay.



This post is 100% serious, please give me legitimate advice if at all possible, thank you for reading and if anyone wants clarification or more details, I'll be watching for replies for a couple of days",7.6636206281227714,6.852770304068525,7.664702890792293,74.76787517844399,63.30406852248394,10.524232690935047,38.73028194147039,9.725611199111238,3.70415067808708,1920,90,357,32,24,620,250,467,0.107,0.8290000000000001,0.064,-0.9407,1,0,3,0,1,0,40.0,0,3,5,4,22,15,2,2,30,0,36,4,2,2,2,56,66,41,0,13,14,0,0,1,0,5,0,1,2,1,10,17,2,4,6,3,1,10,6,8,1,6,17,4,51,7,65,39,8,70,0,0,2,0,19,28,0,9,33,253,61,9,0.0,0.0,0.09346526032513756,0.0,0.0,0.09359290123131704,0.08490118960139699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513214908493517,0.0,0.07326971066177418,0.1082015866857452,0.0,0.06697002432072888,0.0,0.07881692107463398,0.08526249665808065,0.17907851990742282,0.10896100872683867,0.0,0.07364717177875663,0.15994082827025258,0.11677044539067293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647073367635365,0.10597625007168074,0.0,0.061768720252730086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381574767290904,0.0,0.0,0.18765144886447885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483065128853676,0.0,0.10681750030529694,0.06326029545104041,0.0,0.0806968787010763,0.091519737179518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750782425026015,0.0,0.0,0.10501535077475682,0.0,0.0,0.30023950345308353,0.09187873772328677,0.10886539623288258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06419780171827788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504463042951773,0.17026331605654652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04679216693999432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042918124453377,0.0,0.0,0.08142681141173304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09622161548805483,0.0,0.3191624402614522,0.0,0.0,0.1016050488902308,0.0,0.0,0.1528977601730726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925027402885512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12980295378454484,0.07284328888724306,0.0,0.11237454405643506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664002269298713,0.08362943020809299,0.0,0.10513519946818024,0.0,0.10797501351037274,0.09172860165684503,0.0,0.10326460544818937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580366106170164,0.10901603909043696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373438525687548,0.0,0.0,0.27116791570374377,0.10208632959844864,0.0,0.0800744811597408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21603882744213895,0.0,0.0,0.08817927691316793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169754345384546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502679996784325,0.10417868029089436,0.09356093712253924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129843877829887,0.0,0.07682712760412255,0.0,0.0,0.08878692661671787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209182011184032,0.0,0.09760570186850304,0.06803776009276509,0.0,0.0,0.06167772580877925
bipolarreddit,Em-aline,2019/07/22,"Hand tremors on lithium I’ve been on lithium for nearly a year and get it check regularly, still sitting at 0.6 as always but I’m getting worse hand tremors especially when hungry ... it’s getting really embarrassing especially when around other people and when it comes with sweating anyone tips to make it better bar eating constantly ( trying to lose a good amount of weight to which started with the meds ) 
Thanks",7.483243243243244,9.05667218918919,7.084702702702702,70.62921621621625,63.59459459459461,9.163243243243244,33.71891891891892,9.3871,3.3244248648648647,338,14,52,6,5,106,57,74,0.126,0.6779999999999999,0.196,0.7514,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,5,5,0,1,3,0,1,6,3,1,0,8,9,7,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,6,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,3,13,8,1,14,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,7,30,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956973729808109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644506965241795,0.0,0.0,0.20936944707771146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080069232403804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025958281008824,0.0,0.2541574246394657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24065864146668445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3686320556677081,0.0,0.0,0.19726666941577586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26311805885569844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15699151412465456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26124367400548976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630515096677521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15066908461588724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664690772655423,0.0,0.1878234719116007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165318536830889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15967894077858874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.286398721380018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23967925679905205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15145499904113993
bipolarreddit,GigitsPony,2018/12/01,"Probably need help... Disability questions and Doctor help Little about me... I was labeled with Bipolar at my exit threapy when i turned 18 because my parents dropped me from their insurence and it was a child doctor. Really this is all I know. I also remember being forced one drug too but i stopped taking it cause it made me feel like shit all the time and i yelled at my doctor to TAKE ME OFF when he never did.

Ive been stuck in life. I either lose my job or have to quit. I cant hold anything and I havent seen a doctor in YEARS. I need to go back but I am working all the time causing myself even more stress... I dont really have health insurence since my parents took me off at fucking 18. I tried my state insurence but got denied more then once (i actually got yelled at on the phone interview a few times because the person said I am being a fraud or something. lose my cool and hang up). And I cant foot the bill 

I thought about killing myself more then once... I have no clue what to do AT ALL. I thought of moving and starting fresh but I doubt I can do that.

Long story short I probably have had 11 different jobs in the past 5 years. Only ONE of them I wanted to stay because the place treated me so well. But everything else I either get depressed and dont go into work for days and people dont understand or I force myself to go to work and get burned out within an hour. I do currently have a Part Time Job at a Amazon warehouse but I worked there before and just stopped showing up. This time is the second time...

I also thought of going on Disability and stopping jobs all together to take care of myself. Maybe do the food delivery stuff on the side. I can schdule myself when i want and all that. But i was also told if I went on Disability I would be labeled that for life and cant work a job anymore. Or even work when I finish school like x.x;;; I'm just STUCK right now. I know this post is probably confusing but I need help in something >_<;;;",2.200795423214778,4.06884367493797,3.5038730355665852,89.88008305762341,77.51116625310173,6.2643782740556935,23.849531293079682,7.1686216300943375,0.8652470912599952,1543,51,325,18,36,503,193,403,0.134,0.795,0.071,-0.9808,9,0,3,0,0,1,48.0,0,0,2,9,19,15,3,3,18,1,34,13,2,3,7,65,70,37,1,7,17,2,1,2,0,1,9,3,0,2,11,17,1,4,9,1,1,8,9,9,1,3,19,6,57,6,39,47,13,66,0,3,1,1,15,27,2,8,29,222,68,18,0.0,0.0,0.06576767863545224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616869776205047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683760895998486,0.0,0.0,0.05546024178652178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051822500778425824,0.0,0.12324987540595768,0.0,0.057348076905635134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871356926883809,0.13846620798111706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04346412056386388,0.0,0.05804710925672975,0.0,0.0,0.07041330274409029,0.0,0.2759260516451301,0.0,0.0,0.2369588835817728,0.0,0.07815666147031544,0.0,0.05629977224949336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902736197673268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06057017027177165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0340768750656222,0.04814691396927055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149415341848362,0.0,0.0,0.06230547828433895,0.07042208377058869,0.0,0.1532082480497784,0.0,0.10780368039032548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716376032814469,0.0,0.0,0.135520097343846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0663703786968668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3343950837117965,0.0,0.07456244659846108,0.0,0.07407692431774109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520599019701814,0.06585146582292899,0.06754737254863895,0.0,0.059642345815614624,0.0,0.15079525801462065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377066265316406,0.0,0.0,0.06770721296006971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07163008907031157,0.0,0.1499173431799351,0.05197908430890949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14354669006437898,0.091337026406788,0.05125684128648534,0.0,0.0,0.14966807168871474,0.07298208477560879,0.06433603648599293,0.04672312226867432,0.05884660751233772,0.07041330274409029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06454566300313694,0.0,0.21798923028431505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549768686916795,0.07168274804621172,0.0,0.0,0.08634976857266886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07634525838847894,0.05755485716613145,0.06410796179697488,0.0,0.0,0.06820721409506643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917987328796035,0.05574973912729097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037677386675524,0.0,0.0,0.0477024411910099,0.07183397226678342,0.0,0.16903540605871598,0.07720060450020627,0.0,0.07715101068178852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15201768150613246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605120140195262,0.2357909703569156,0.0,0.0,0.06439869361819735,0.07487818870828958,0.0457566979228403,0.07330627381983892,0.0,0.07016044431048415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950248980942941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605960886934765,0.062475726665122175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2943856410394852,0.0,0.0,0.04787538733954076,0.0,0.0,0.08680018299518627
bipolarreddit,Omniscient-Gibbon,2018/12/01,Depression blood test/screening The doctor is sending me to a “depression” blood test/screening. Has anybody done that? What do they check for? ,5.138749999999998,8.675072041666667,3.7550000000000026,82.39000000000001,78.58333333333334,6.533333333333335,33.0,7.793537801064563,3.0013500000000013,115,6,17,2,3,33,20,24,0.29,0.71,0.0,-0.8299,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,4,3,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,3,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,12,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7656199362344712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4549203413636872,0.0,0.4548335918265827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kileymae88,2018/12/01,My own worst enemy The worst feeling in the world is when you start to fall for someone and you get into your manic stage. Then one tiny thing happens *his ex messaged him*. He told me about it so idk why I’m so upset. Any information on how to not be so upset.? Manic stages always seem fun. But the crash and fall back to seclusion is the worst feeling in the world. ,-0.060109090909090675,2.281560080000002,1.543757575757578,96.13854545454548,94.86666666666667,3.793939393939394,16.151515151515152,5.565023196281405,-0.6680666666666664,286,7,61,2,11,92,56,75,0.252,0.6809999999999999,0.067,-0.9609,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,0,7,6,0,2,5,0,3,0,0,1,0,10,11,9,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,5,0,1,1,2,7,1,9,9,4,14,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,1,4,42,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2854153387547788,0.0,0.0,0.23326145610168894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26375678936191344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34687662786576073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17921079103190282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3033263731888087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23243533670752445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3122672953610917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29063486543930195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427872554252379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22788342958317465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32776482054506584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30951701300379325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gab714gg,2019/04/17,"What is going on with me? I feel like my brain is continuously struggling to figure out if I should cry for hours or go and get a ton of shit done. Like... I have this urge to get all of my course work done but I'm also too sad to care about it. I keep going through these dysphoric episodes. Had one last night in fact. I don't know if it counts as a nervous breakdown or not. I don't know what triggered it. Something just snapped. I started to feel super tense. I considered dropping out of college. I was curled up in a ball for a good 45 minutes crying until my eyes were dried out later that night. And then one thing lead to the next, I was having flashbacks from my emotionally abusive mother. I desperately wanted to cut myself and I hated absolutely everything that I was thinking about. Punching myself in the head. Staring at the scars all over my arms and hating every ounce of myself. I went on a long walk in the night. I probably looked like a crackhead or something. Stumbling around with tears running down my face. I was losing my fucking mind. Later that night, I couldn't sleep and went to bed super late. And now I'm writing this at my school. It scares me that such a thing happened to me and I'm just able to ignore it and start being productive today. Well. Not productive. More barely functioning enough to make it school and back home. I'm so emotionally exhausted, yet wired. It's like there's a continuous battle going on in my head That no one else understands. I hadn't taken anything that night except my Lamictal. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH MY HEAD. I'm rambling all over the place. Maybe somebody can make something of this.

tldr. I went insane last night and don't know what to make of it.",2.032300476947533,4.533395123529413,3.090842607313196,89.26973767885535,81.58823529411767,5.558028616852146,22.130365659777425,6.885778809224403,0.6729618441971379,1362,44,268,16,37,435,178,340,0.196,0.7240000000000001,0.079,-0.9923,0,0,3,0,0,1,39.0,0,0,0,5,14,23,7,3,14,0,21,12,9,5,4,52,58,21,0,5,11,1,2,4,0,1,1,0,2,0,24,17,0,2,8,1,0,11,8,14,1,3,13,5,36,9,48,42,6,56,0,2,3,2,2,20,3,5,28,183,60,5,0.08329586255891126,0.09869197649206776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06661167119439508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06854539761853286,0.07415097742580917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06404937676105116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298573021143386,0.0,0.0,0.08492568325704188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18299318749716348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704811742070932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958300487633683,0.18739326812436036,0.0,0.08606689241093607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07018035672697683,0.0,0.07486095031972649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423378174084349,0.059506580855386515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540113654481318,0.08703730055417355,0.0,0.2366947912306761,0.0698646175689831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07365825617203467,0.0,0.0,0.16447483896247014,0.2564567575271189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355254167609373,0.0,0.0820296459467465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403718985606232,0.0,0.0,0.13733168306214055,0.13579449067238653,0.093961361078849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16277660403899874,0.0,0.0,0.07371421719670325,0.06994754595043302,0.093186763946938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16680190518313864,0.0,0.08368188966530149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410507620323995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858609480235989,0.469005146370368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16933029655135493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08702644775343843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898070280322724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339368950218085,0.16859971972696808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855020059230138,0.0,0.0,0.08335601783468098,0.0,0.0,0.1923756733965044,0.0,0.0,0.11791448048129832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707892101728648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106761397443736,0.05337262538823239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895473817628026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671393051019509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049130057858628624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489298387140557,0.2316482972929435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060640379991822486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,georgiehedd,2019/04/17,"Help me. Anyone else had the struggle of being pushed into a wrong diagnosis? Hey so this is my first post here and i need some advice as this has been stressing me out. 
Sorry if it’s a bit long .
Basically after about 5 years of therapy at multiple hospitals with multiple people I got diagnosed with bipolar 2. It was such a relief to know what was wrong with me and why these sudden breakdowns and well “mental” episodes had been happening to me. It fit and was comforting having confirmation that it’s not me or who I am. 
I have bad depressive episodes roughly every two years, always when I’m perfectly content with my life, no events no reasonable triggers nothing. 

Manics have been less visible to my hospital as well I was off doing “far more important things” 
E.g my ,now I look back on it, completely incoherent master piece of an application to a prestigious design school.  Instead of attending appointments. Although they did see a couple days which confirmed to them bipolar. 

In between those times I’m just normal happy average George. 

So getting to the point my second admittion to the priory hospital ( private so not related to my previous treatment) happened last year during a depressive episode.  In one session my consultant told me he didn’t think it was bipolar. I asked why, his response was nothing more than” you don’t look like someone with bipolar” 

What the fuck does that mean?!? 

So he told me in his opinion it’s BPD. Disregarding my previous YEARS under the nhs who All agreed on bipolar. 

Now I’m out patient and have been back home nearly a year and doing really well despite  Having  had loss and a difficult home life.  he’s referred me to a therapist. Turns out she only treats personality disorders. 

I had my first session with her and she went through the criteria of what is needed for a diagnosis of bpd.  ( that’s what he had changed my diagnosis to on my notes!!!) I’ve met him maybe 5 times over two years including inpatient stays. 

Now with bipolar I do have the symptoms she is describing but only when I have episodes. When I made it clear it’s only in episodes that these are present and my episodes tend to be separated by months or years where none of these symptoms exist she scoffed and said that doesn’t matter and ticked them off anyway. 

Im finding it hard having people try to make out that the way I am when I’m ill is a problem with my personality and therefore something I can control. 

I came to this subreddit as I’m hoping you understand how horrible it is for someone to 1. Make out like you have control over this by changing your thinking. 2. And taking away the only thing that makes sense of why I do and say and feel these intense almost out of body episodes. I know full well it’s not like me to go out for three days and not sleep going to random places not having any sense of danger and losing who I am. 

I’m not putting anyone with bpd down. It’s just a very different experience when it feels chemical. I would choose bipolar over bpd any day because I have long periods of time of being normal. 
I’m really scared they are going to change my meds and what treatments they’ll give me. 

Anyone had similar to this??? 


Sorry it’s so long x",3.651589635854344,5.9816347565359544,4.656129785247434,81.1454411764706,74.80065359477123,7.900840336134454,28.575630252100844,8.738905477910976,2.474561064425771,2549,108,463,54,56,829,291,612,0.092,0.8390000000000001,0.069,-0.9520000000000001,2,0,1,0,0,0,52.0,0,4,5,8,29,27,2,3,22,0,52,16,2,10,3,85,96,37,0,8,12,0,4,3,0,2,13,2,2,2,43,36,0,3,12,0,0,8,12,14,4,7,26,9,60,13,77,65,9,77,0,4,3,1,36,31,1,8,38,326,103,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062364120185179686,0.0,0.0,0.06390646491259838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05310331403421557,0.0,0.0,0.08679951406598314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338731866603844,0.06539108451539717,0.0,0.0,0.059663041700611735,0.0,0.059960947377407516,0.09814721013418294,0.053286995624330716,0.038904051453766485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06967486027755743,0.07088958144331384,0.3215159905250519,0.0,0.0,0.0729930252662587,0.0,0.0,0.20253914654732094,0.0,0.06691400728687989,0.0,0.1431590097145128,0.0,0.07061556495519218,0.0,0.12347577143715155,0.0,0.10993606530609404,0.06477590966204058,0.0,0.06667826828942927,0.07314319610493754,0.0,0.055849271606241854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053313382164857336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053771063570778994,0.0,0.0,0.06242816086156828,0.0,0.0,0.0645385723873497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05833028153629247,0.10857044012344473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05900051886563493,0.03334329176563213,0.06122191497917118,0.1088110513514502,0.0,0.051042647081749784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287154867415325,0.067937527499613,0.05717014304821449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04277716973521237,0.0,0.12803323435483285,0.06338761418293873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893650161464919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014755509573993,0.05202178024623581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015584143509507,0.09353761720320587,0.0,0.0,0.16943595232954378,0.10718537537655344,0.07139820374010558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060387983345082275,0.12780094410494688,0.0,0.06411572153189415,0.06951863909994466,0.07088958144331384,0.0,0.06431550277190691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0509404782095144,0.0,0.0,0.09464337409954472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250600088417523,0.12247393372354333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043246052337898896,0.19415180267230456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848944050453443,0.11145024393731393,0.06667826828942927,0.0,0.0603304847307085,0.0,0.06112187423282694,0.0,0.0,0.061067076670692236,0.0,0.06415668071346801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176939315776914,0.06561754165861895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06070739064353769,0.050752188771502976,0.0638949071898902,0.06458920038496682,0.05085624034561575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386604376253784,0.0,0.10814887942638178,0.049131718361578716,0.0,0.14288242642471768,0.0,0.06802357918798245,0.0,0.0,0.07310554140144929,0.06671847246247327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13266673635098694,0.047984662732656884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298367908317567,0.0740998852322764,0.0847982829314338,0.08178649885907026,0.0,0.0,0.11164178478336488,0.0,0.0,0.12196540151422765,0.0,0.043329559347982466,0.06941778332458386,0.12468564283368284,0.06643882259070227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0526581456142809,0.0,0.05065730871653707,0.0,0.0,0.2295272115769509,0.05916173651581335,0.17276274511575412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04533586406375699,0.13955420161422422,0.0,0.2876857045927475
bipolarreddit,Maniackolapse,2019/04/17,"Bipolar w/ ASMR (sidenote on New Age culture & spirituality) Anyone else experiences ASMR on top of your manic episodes? I have type 1 ASMR and Bipolar 1 and I've found it to be a deadly combination. When manic, I'll come up with these metaphysical laws and--despite how compulsive and irrational as fuck they are--  get this huge flood of stimulation from the back of my head all the way to my feet that makes it seem like the universe is confirming my understanding. It got to a point in my development where I believed I was given the date of the end of the world and that the afterlife was split 80% enslaved and 20% saved. 

Months later, my life has blown into ruins and what was once seeming so inexplicably clear now seems psychotic. Is there a lesson to be had from all of this or can it all be written off as manic thinking? 

Sidenote: what's extra complicating on top of all of this is the thirst that new age culture seems to have on pondering spirituality and metaphysics. On the one hand, it's nice that there is a community (albeit niche) that embraces neurodivergence and ""out of the box"" thinking. On the other, I'm finding it dangerous because of the community's willingness to affirm these manic thoughts that Im having as reality. The twofold affirmation had me push towards accepting all these thoughts as absolute truths and burning bridges with people that wouldn't accept what I was experiencing. This ended up being a lot of fucking people and I ended up homeless. 



Yes, I understand that ASMR is a scientifically controversial subject, but it seems there are enough people out there that experience the symptoms of it to talk about it. If you don't know what I'm talking about: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autonomous_sensory_meridian_response",8.761714285714287,9.27581598095238,8.46674603174603,65.52964285714287,60.61904761904761,10.936507936507935,36.86507936507937,10.62613485830676,4.017031746031746,1434,61,236,31,18,460,174,315,0.042,0.887,0.071,0.7068,0,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,2,1,3,13,11,3,0,20,1,24,10,4,3,7,51,47,20,1,2,3,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,30,16,1,0,18,0,0,2,2,4,0,1,12,2,15,6,44,30,8,37,0,1,0,2,8,21,2,8,14,165,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12609944668113476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813767411873243,0.11924673252308415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949028909286598,0.0,0.0709451609825991,0.0,0.0,0.13112224233331798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10025246847509152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722191748351823,0.0,0.3092387388840782,0.12025333379766764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22768713060309115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637070071405,0.0,0.0,0.12760644941334334,0.0,0.2151858818073868,0.060804597814542616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308102058460913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944112772318285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12571213079030094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06396029979958806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220378656109427,0.056858185394019385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894349935170438,0.0,0.0,0.07768564125023197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289470613104214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248042055212376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394263687804533,0.07886320396785068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420531037486532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001825751913996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5297473214569451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12096507453268825,0.0,0.18708629028530535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14914529749312636,0.0,0.1847880273590287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423147609597035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237832018886047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Iguanada,2019/04/17,"No contact order with my best friend has been lifted. Now struggling to rebuild broken relationships. We have spoken, and I was able to apologize. She said she misses me, only wants The best for me, and that I shouldn't hate myself over what I did, but it doesn't feel like enough. How can I move on when the last thing I said to her was that I wanted to cut her veins out. Truth is, I was blackout drunk and meant to say that about myself, but stil... I put my best friend in physical danger and wasn't able to apologize for months afterward. 

Really struggling not to have a relapse. It feels like I put a band-aid over the last year of my life and now that it's time to rip it off, I'm realizing the wound is still bleeding.

Not sure what the point of this post is. Anyone else been through this?",3.4040740740740745,4.5832698395061735,3.951543209876544,90.77694444444448,72.82716049382717,7.128395061728394,22.141975308641968,7.492282038375204,0.5738049382716048,622,14,137,7,12,196,98,162,0.161,0.698,0.141,-0.3968,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,0,0,3,6,15,3,2,7,0,16,5,1,1,2,22,26,9,0,3,4,0,2,2,2,1,3,3,0,0,13,8,1,0,4,1,0,3,6,6,0,0,10,5,21,9,21,15,4,22,0,1,0,0,14,7,0,0,12,97,34,0,0.2821312416499094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863636201986282,0.1445383988989818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4441189979958053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178422250541444,0.0,0.0,0.14575849552955242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14265403287350426,0.20155461540718286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21797389744191548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927309565895776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299746174998864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963881979469856,0.1378350736706707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259723269795292,0.14993043025938754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728676129770527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13335260811774458,0.0,0.13510187061108536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28361982302998445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037024889212852,0.0,0.0,0.1514516844311532,0.0,0.0,0.2683714182133158,0.1121810436394376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126551870126998,0.0,0.0,0.294944831032464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329526781844714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371773029247067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225649792270337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16640831609353293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084163479321808
bipolarreddit,VictoriaMusicOnline,2019/03/04,"Wrote this while sectioned , day 6... ""Mania Made Me Do It""

Mania made me miss my class,
Perhaps that's why I didn't pass.
Mania made me steal those tools,
Played the clown and class fool.

Mania made me smash the school window, 
Lobbed it hard, smashed in one throw.
Mania made me drink so hard,
Smashed the gin glass left the shards.

Mania made me smash a door,
I wept and wrangled on the floor.
Mania made me drink too much,
Persuaded myself it was my crutch.

Mania made me incredibly poor,
Living life became a chore.
Mania made me feel as such,
That one day the stars I could touch.

Mania made me think I was God,
But then I behaved like such a sod.
Mania made me talk so loud,
But perhaps I shouldn't be so proud.

Mania made me rather odd,
I told the others who'd wryly nod.
Mania makes my mind a crowd,
I try to calm it with a shroud.

Mania gave me a wild sex binge,
But surely after I did cringe.
Mania made me accuse my friend,
I thought he stalked me hours on end.

Mania made me search the garden,
Made me accuse you - I beg your pardon.
Mania made me stop my pills,
Suspect the government of grave ills.

Mania made me think I was Marx,
Made a speech in the park, commandeered a high street march.
Mania made me see weird shapes,
Talk nonstop two hours straight.

Now I'm in a mental hospital, the loony bin, the madhouse. Now I am deep in the shit because mania made me do it. Mania made me do it!

Victoria A Weaver 2019",1.4493684210526323,3.7170140596491272,2.2335964912280737,95.96934210526315,82.08771929824562,4.642105263157895,16.517543859649123,5.6839178017228535,-0.6768456140350878,1097,20,236,6,30,341,151,285,0.109,0.797,0.094,0.1003,0,0,2,0,0,0,50.0,0,2,0,1,9,13,1,0,23,0,13,7,1,22,1,40,45,11,1,3,4,0,4,1,1,1,3,2,4,0,12,3,2,1,5,4,1,2,2,7,0,3,30,7,43,6,11,11,2,28,0,3,1,1,11,14,1,0,13,122,55,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02936111819534148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038456070668293284,0.0,0.0,0.062125264318303376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943673093170736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04266015721251111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024353821532900014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037212389234297136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629329154975167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050889281082444435,0.0,0.0,0.09486623141011713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052331736473634934,0.0,0.034020573917887105,0.02353113134997191,0.0,0.04253083996734357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9570785472635892,0.03215070997426319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0485392911050129,0.0,0.04863321991565022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03540703550419366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06527610399055457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04874585231564632,0.03838150598615237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049440985550441366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04026834526315145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045395222716161934,0.0,0.0,0.07742688304198951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061724755393100274,0.0,0.0382378659603238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04602400567274108,0.0,0.03270107523068805,0.0,0.04705049679533396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043461689203273784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,russkispaceship,2019/03/04,"DEPRESSION HAS A PURPOSE: HOW TO USE IT RIGHT This text discusses personal experiences with depression and suicidal tendencies.
It is an amended and an updated version. I edited it for mistakes and added a couple of paragraphs alongside with real-life illustrations. If you have already read the first version, just look for the new paragraphs. Thank you for reading.

I think I know now why I need depressive phases.
By saying that, I don't mean the physical side of depression. This implies fatigue, general exhaustion, increased or decreased need for sleep, the same applies to appetite, drop in libido, decrease in hygiene and general activities. The body needs to recover. It takes time.
What I am talking about is the emotional, intellectual, — if you want — spiritual side of depression. I think I found a purpose of depression on the other side of the coin.
It appears that I grow during these times, because I reflect a lot on the recent events, critically evaluate my actions and decisions, as well as my reasoning behind them. Most importantly, I try to understand my mistakes and to learn lessons from them so that I will never repeat them again.
In all fairness, it is a painful and self-destructive process. Most of the time, it is counterproductive and worsens the state of an affected person with ever increasing speed. It is a vicious circle of being paralyzed, feeling ashamed of it and guilty for own disengagement, inability to find enough energy to at least do things that you generally like (normally, it’s worse: you completely lost interest in the things you like), being paralyzed from shame and guilt, hating yourself for this lameness, becoming ever more disgusted by your own bad smell and a total disaster on the floor and in the kitchen, feeling dizzy and weak at all times, having a hurting back and ass cheeks from spending days in bed, losing all respect for yourself and hope for improvement, wanting to give up and to end the pain.
You are a burden. You are a disgrace. You are worthless. You have no purpose. Your existence does not make any sense. You are a waste of resources. You are a disappointment. Your parents must be ashamed of you. They should regret bringing you to the world. You will never produce anything meaningful. You will never change anything. You mean nothing. You are a lab rat in the obstacle race in an endless labyrinth. You were born a slave to the indifferent capitalist feudalistic world system. You will never find your place in the society. All spots are occupied. Even the untouchable ones. But you are nothing special. You don’t even have the guts to slip down the social ladder and join the untouchables in protest against the system. “Fuck the system” remains just a graffiti on the platform of a subway station. You are a fucking joke.
This is an approximation of the thinking patterns typical of a depressive episode. They dance in circles in your head, every day. They hold hands and take turns in solo parts. They exhaust you. You wake up with them and you go to sleep with them. You cry when you fall asleep. You cry when you wake up. Day after day.
Slowly you develop a real anxiety for answering phone calls. They terrify you. People want something from you. We don’t want that. Opening the mail box becomes a real nightmare. You spend days pursuaiding yourself to open your mail account or to open your post box. You stop answering text messages. You are tired of lying that you are doing fine. You are not fine.
During the depression, I take a pause of silence. I cut my connections to the outer world and go inside myself. I need that time free of background noises and external advice to keep hearing my thoughts. This is the time when I re-evaluate my knowledge and values. Regarding this, three semi-cool metaphors come to my mind.

Winter tree

Depression looks like a tree in a night of winter sleep. That very deep and dreamless slumber. Though, how would we know? They might as well watch nightmares, which could compete with the Saw, or I spit on your grave. It is sad and does not bring joy to anyone. To some, it might even look ugly. Sometimes, decomposing fall foliage that cover the decaying human and animal feces with a soft fluffy coat smell bad. I mean, really bad. You better keep on moving.
The tree stops interacting with the surrounding life. Birds abandoned their nests and no longer sing on its branches. It lost all its leaves and stays alone for the rest of the winter. It might appear that it is cold or dead. It is winter that makes its skin harden and darken. It becomes raw and thick.
Or we could look at it differently. Winter can be beautiful. I love winter. It is my favorite season. In Germany, winter is usually gray and wet. The wind is brutal, you don’t want to go outside. The gray sky weighs heavy on your head. You are cold.
On those days, I often must think of winter in Russia. With a nostalgic smile and a sharp wrench in my heart, I see my way home, my parents’ house, a rare artifact of Russian wooden architecture that survived the Revolution of 1917, on a peaceful winter night. The sky was beautifully painted in the darkest and deepest blue. Twinkling stars were magically winking at me. The way home from the bus stop was a thin stamp white trail in the snow. It lied between two snowbanks, as high as your knees. Tiny snow flakies sparkled in the soft orange light of the lanterns along the road. Like in a slow motion, the snow was falling on my palms and in my mouth in huge fluffy flakies. It was Christmas magic. No vehicles were driving by. It was so silent, that the only sound that sent waves into the space was crispy and squeaky snow under my heavy winter boots. I was the happiest I could be. 
Inevitably, the spring comes. And the tree that was asleep just yesterday, wakes up and gets more beautiful than ever. It gives birth to fresh crispy-green leaves, it grows more branches which are strong and flexible. The new ones make the tree bigger and older.
It hosts more nests and attracts more birds to sing on its branches in the early morning when the sun rises. It amazes more people, they enjoy being around the tree. People go outside and spend time in its shadow. They arrange pick-nicks under its thick coat of leaves, laugh, eat and take pictures. More animals and kids play on the tree’s branches. Some might even build a small cabin on them, which will become a young kid’s secret escape into the magical world of their dreams.
In Russia, they have a tradition of hugging a tree. It is believed that the tree would suck up all of the negativity and charge you with positive energy. Many people even have their special tree, which suits their personality. Some prefer the pine tree, others the oak tree. Lime trees and birches are popular as well.
Then the fall approaches. The facade starts cracking, the leaves are falling off. Everything is getting browner and rainier. Slowly, everyone left the tree behind. Birds headed off south to have a sex-vacation, people are running from box to box hiding under an umbrella. It's winter again.

Current view from from kitchen
Last spring, I had a crazy idea that I can be an artist. So in a creative madness I decorated the only tree in our backyard with pieces of my old linen. And then died it with acrylic paint. I conceptualized it as a memory tree. Because my linen kept memories of nearly everything and outlived a lot of relationships and tragedies. Now, my roommate says, it is the only thing that reminds him of joy in the whole backyard.

Computer game

Depression is like a progressing computer game. You need to die so many times until you learn the lesson and get to the next level.
Sometimes, when the level is hard, it gets frustrating and exhausting at some point. You lose interest and give up on the game. And when you do that, you stop playing the game and stop unlocking the next levels. That's a metaphor of the suicide.
Suicide is the worst possible side-effect of mental illnesses. It should rightfully be taken seriously.

Real suicide

Last summer, a fellow member from the self-help group, which I regularly visit, jumped off a roof. She left two kids behind. She was young and had a special outlook on the world, which she lived in photography. She had been deeply depressed since March, when I saw her for the first time, which was the first time I visited a group meeting.
In the flash round, she cried. She said, she could not bear it anymore, that she just wanted to give up. I felt that. I felt her pain. I knew too well those two sentences. There comes a time when only those two are left. And you just cry and say them over and over again. I wanted to give her a warm hug and to let her cry on my shoulder. But we didn't know each other. So, I had to restrain.
At the end of May, she committed suicide. It shook deeply the whole group. It became so apparent that this is how the game ends for us. Many of us were deeply grieving.
Up to 17% of people with bipolar disorder will take their lives as a result of their illness, making it the #1 cause of premature death in people with this disorder. Women attempt suicide about 3 times more often than men, although men are 4 times as likely to complete suicide. People with bipolar disorder are 2x more likely to attempt suicide than someone with a unipolar disorder. In a review of deaths of individuals with bipolar disorder from 1936-1988, 19% of 9,389 deaths were found to be because of suicide. (Ctrl+C Ctrl+V from the listing40 Profound Bipolar Disorder Suicide Statistics. Source: HealthResearchFunding.org)
At her funeral on July 3rd, I was brokenhearted. I was late because it had taken me quite a time to choose the right black shirt and trousers. Dresses seemed too festive to me. I was nervous, it was my first funeral in Germany. It was my first suicide funeral. It was my first mental health funeral.
The chapel was crowded. I stood leaning on the cold wooden door. I breathed heavily and needed time to process. I had never seen so many people attending a funeral. Those are small and private in Russia unless you are some kind of famous or rich. I counted some 250 people. All grieving. Some crying.
Speeches were boring and long. Also, swampy and sticky. I was outraged when the priest said, ""We cannot know why [she] left. It will remain a mystery forever."" I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream so loud so that he would stop talking. How dare you say that we don't know why she jumped off the roof? How dare you indifferently pass the verdict that it will remain a mystery? I wanted to scream. Or to leave the chapel and slam the door.
But I couldn't leave. I needed to stay. I owed it to her. I started crying. I couldn't stop. Tears ran in deep rivers down my cheeks. I didn't have a napkin. I couldn't bear the ceremony, but I couldn't go either.
In the chapel across the columns, her family hung out on a string her photographs for the visitors to take away as a memory of her. I waited for most people to take one and leave the chapel. By the time I came up to the string with hanging photographs, I only had three left to choose from. I picked a very bleak image of a closed backyard, probably taken from a balcony on some fourth floor, on a clouded winter day. It was bleak. Like depression that kills us. I took it to remember this.
The weather outside was good and sunny. It seemed totally out of place in the given context. The sun brutally burned my shoulders in the black shirt. I hate the sun. I hate everything when there is the sun. It blinds me, makes me sweaty and hot, and gives me headaches. Also, it burns my skin. So, no reason to love it. As I stood in line to throw my flower into the grave, I spent my time hating the sun. In that moment, I didn't realize how much this day would impact me. Her name was Verena.

Depression

Directly after the funeral, I fell into the deepest, darkest and the coldest well of depression. None of the previous episodes could come close to this one in severity. I was tired, I was failing on all fronts. I had ten days left to write my master's thesis, after which I had to go to Russia for three weeks — I deserved a vacation. I had been in a manic phase when I invited my then-partner's mom to come to visit Russia with me. Also, I didn't know how I was going to pay my bills. Verena's death was the trigger.
When it became clear that I would not be able to finish my thesis before the deadline and that I needed an extension, it was too late to cancel the trip. Christoph's (my ex) mom had already made all the reservations. I didn't want to go there. I had a bad feeling. I wanted to stay home and close off myself from the angry, cruel world. But I rarely change plans. So, I went.
I arrived in Moscow already at my worst. The first thing that I did upon arrival was buying a battery of alcoholic beverages and red bull cans to keep me going. This way I was going to write my thesis and to finish it by August 3rd. Good plan, destined for success.
I worked, but much more I drank, smoked and had severe headaches. A bad state to write your thesis. My next step was to keep myself awake by the cocktail vodka red bull, with a lot of vodka and a lot of red bull. Three all-nighters, four cigarette packs. I came forward. But the body never forgives.
Then Christoph's mother came. For a whole week, I needed to guide, to entertain and to translate for her. She was nearly helpless without me. She didn't know the language, people often didn't speak English and she wasn't very well at that either. Most importantly, she couldn't plan her program by herself. And she needed company by nearly any activity she undertook. A rich touristic program requires to get up early and to go to bed late. I was getting exhausted. I gave out all my energy, even the emergency generator. Burned all calories. No spoons left.
I still needed to finish my thesis. So again all-nighters, again red bull. With the only difference: I increasingly preferred watching TV shows over writing the thesis. And I couldn't wake up. I turned into a horrible host and an indifferent individual. I could not wait for her to leave. A shameful thought, but I could not ban it from my thinking feed. I was anticipating my trip to Saint Petersburg, the time in a summery St. Petersburg, which everyone is talking about. I wanted to fall in love with St. Petersburg too. I was excited to see Sonya, my dear friend-by-coincidence. She is an architecture enthusiast and gives brilliant city tours.
Instead, I locked myself up in her room for the whole week of my stay. I only came out of the room to either visit the bathroom or smoke a cigarette. Much more seldom it was because of the food. I was starving. Worse, I was deadly afraid to go outside. I was afraid of people and public space. I went outside only to buy cigarettes or alcohol, only at night and only in Sonya's company.
What was I doing behind the closed doors the whole week? I was watching a TV show. Over and over again. Until I exhaust myself and pass out. Sometimes Sonya forced me to work on my thesis, and I did. But more often I watched TV series, not wrote my thesis. In this fashion, I spent my last week before the deadline.
I failed. Self-explanatory. I went to my psychiatrist and first thing cried a quarter hour. I was the worst failure in the history of failures. He gave me a sick leave until the end of October. I had time to crawl out of the deep stinky rabbit hole I had accidentally fallen into. 

_____________
So back to the pink fluffy unicorns: I, for example, like to play Two Dots. It's an endless game which gets ever more complicated. Being depressed I spent hours solving new problems and trying to unlock a new level. Eventually, I would give up and even delete the app from my phone. But then occasionally, I would install it again and start it all over. Because deleting the app did not kill the small worm who wants salvation from unresolved problems.

Lighthouse stairs

Lastly, depression is like a brief stop on the endless stairs leading to the top of a lighthouse. You take upon this torture because of the view that it rewards you with in the end. The way up there is at times unbearable and brutal to your lungs and leg muscles. The space is tight, and the air is bad.
Normally, the stairs are also crowded af, if we take a tower in a city hall or a cathedral. So, taking a short breath break is like a lottery. When you do get a chance, you would bow putting your hands on your knees. You breathe heavily and your face is red. You get no air, your lungs hurt, your leg muscles are sore. Looking either up or down makes you dizzy, and your feet sweat with tiny ice-cold drops.
In that moment you question your sanity in deciding to punish yourself with these stairs. You now see the promised view in relation to your suffering. You re-evaluate the price- performance ratio. And the results are not in favor of the view. But the stream of people on the stairs keeps moving. In most cases, it carries you away, again and again upwards.
Maybe the saddest thing about this is that in most cases you barely spend ten minutes on the roof of the tower. You briefly enjoy the view. Sometimes the view is disappointing. The weather was bad, gray clouds covered the city with a thick ceiling. The wind was strong and freezing. Your hair was flying around and got in your eyes and your mouth. It might be dirty and noisy upstairs. Even better, if you are afraid of height. In most cases, it's pretty crowdy on top. People are pushing each other, trying to get the best view. No one is talking to each other.
It is understandably very upsetting. You take pictures from all possible angles anyways and go downstairs. The way down seems much shorter than the way up. You easily run downstairs asking yourself whether the view was worth the trouble. You don't know.
Sometimes though, you might give up halfway through and turn back. Similar to the computer game wormy, we have a tower wormy. Every once in a while, it bites a little bit off your achievement organ and crawls inside your thinking organ. Then you forget about it only to remember again sometime later.

Hope

Now, going back to my introduction, when I wrote that during the depression, I try to understand my mistakes and to learn lessons from them so that I will never repeat them again.
In manic phases, which in my case normally follow depressive episodes, I challenge myself to act upon my new knowledge and imperatives. I need to do that to prove myself that I learned the lesson and deserve redemption.
I am my strongest critic. I need to forgive myself to move on, not the forgiveness of the others. I pass my own judgment on my actions. Because I know best all my motifs and thoughts. And before I ultimately forgive myself, I ask for forgiveness people that I hurt. Not formally to check the box, but genuinely and humbly.
NB! I did not intend to romanticize depression with these metaphors, or worse, to implicate that I have the cure to depression. Depression is a serious, brutal disease that tragically changes people's lives, and sometimes ends them. Therefore, I do not recommend terminating your prescription meds, if you are affected by depression or other mental health issues. I take a bunch of those on a daily basis. However, I do not propagate for taking medication either. Whatever works for you best is best for your health. Invest time into exploring those ways. It always pays off.

If you are affected by depression

If you are affected by depression, allow yourself time to recover. My former therapist used to say: ""If you want to lie on the couch, lie on the couch"". That's the best advice I can give you. When you are well, you won't lie on the couch anyways. Take your time. There is no hurry when it comes to health.
Second advice is to start slow and small. Make your bed. It's challenging enough. Don't be ashamed of feeling like taking a shower or doing laundry (because you have nothing left to wear) is Mount Everest (or Mount Weather rofl). It's okay. All people with depression share this mess and this shame. I think we should talk about this more, to support each other. So again, start small. Make your bed. It's enough.
Third thing, your depression procrastination pays off. Hundreds if not thousands of hours that I spent on YouTube watching beauty tutorials, BuzzFeed videos and in-depth analyses of each Game of Thrones’ episode, eventually make up for the wasted time. At some point, you'll be able to connect the dots and turn that Netflix binge madness into something meaningful.
Lastly, if you have suicidal thoughts, get help immediately. Tell people about this. Tell them
how you feel. Don’t be silent. They care. Get any help that’s available and acceptable to you: medical, religious, anonymous hotline, support group, parents, friends — anything will do. However, suicidal tendencies without a doubt qualify for a good reason to make an appointment with a psychiatrist. This is how I got diagnosed. I needed to get suicidal first to notice that something is not right.

If you are close to an affected person

If you are close to an affected person, give them time. Recovery is a gradual process. Be patient and supportive. They know that they have problems with hygiene, that their room looks like an aftermath of the nuclear war, that they haven't done the dishes in weeks. It's alright. If you can, help them. If you can't, leave them. Time will come when they get up and do all the dishes and laundry in one go.
Here, the spoon theory is a great illustration of this particular face of depression (shoutout to Anja Osypova). It is a metaphor that is
used to explain the reduced amount of mental and physical energy available for activities of living and productive tasks that may result from disability or chronic illness. The term spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure in order to quantify how much energy a person has throughout a given day. It was coined by Christine Miserandino in 2003 in her essay The Spoon Theory. According to her theory, each activity requires a given number of spoons, which will only be replaced as the person ""recharges"" through rest. A person who runs out of spoons has no choice but to rest until their spoons are replenished. However, people with chronic diseases [...] and various disabilities may have sleep difficulties. This can result in a particularly low supply of spoons. (Ctrl+C Ctrl+V from Wikipedia)
I hear people call each other tenderly spoony. I think it's cute. So, love your spoony, they can be adorable.
My former partner Christoph used to literally drag me out of bed every day when I was at my lowest. He woke me up with the best good morning YouTube playlist and started by shaking all my body parts. It was very funny and so I started my day with a smile. Then he asked me what I wanted to wear. In most cases, I said ""Dragon. I wanna be a dragon."" So, he went into my room and brought the dragon, socks, and slippers. He took one foot out of the blanket and stroke it. Then he put a sock on it. When he was done with the second foot, he would start putting the dragon on me, while I was still lying flat. Anyway, it was funny. I laughed a lot. Next, he would put me straight up and finish dressing me up as a dragon. I was ready to start a new day.
Tell them that you love them and that you believe in them. You might need to repeat it everyday. It is crucial to regularly give the person in depression encouraging affirmation and to cheer them up. On most days in depression, I cry at least once a day. I feel hopeless and worthless. I see no exit in the darkness. My partner was there to console me too. He hugged me, let me cry into his shirt and told me over and over again what I achieved and that I can do more.
Once I was about to meet an elderly friend of mine who is usually very proud of me and thinks highly of me. I grew to perceive her appreciation as high expectations. It put a lot of pressure on me. I was afraid not to meet the standards. So, this time, being deep in depression, I got so anxious so that I wanted to cancel the plans. Every time I thought about it, I started crying and couldn't calm down. I felt like a complete failure. But canceling the plans would be a typical failure too. So, I had nothing left to do but to cry.
Christoph took an A4 notebook and started going through the recent months with me. He asked me what I did in March, April, May, June, July, and August. Unexpectedly, it turned out that I had done a lot of things and worked a lot of jobs. At least on paper. So, we decided that we killed my worst enemy: I had things to tell about. My plan was to take a shower, put something semi-fancy on and just force myself outside. I would just recite from the chart Christoph and I had made earlier and that would do it. Fake it till you make it.
It wouldn't be me if I hadn't blown up my own plan. Soon enough into my report, I got annoyed by the necessity to keep up the facade. So, I told the three ladies that I felt like a piece of shit and that I had been feeling like shit for months and that I didn't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I told them about my disorder, how I got diagnosed, how long it took me to find the medication that's right for me, that I went to a self-help group and that I found friends there. I felt relieved. And the ladies were again amazed by my honesty and strength. Of course, I thought that I didn't deserve it, but it was a huge relief, nevertheless.

Epilogue

As far as Christoph is concerned, so that you don't think that I am the luckiest girl in the world — which I was — should be rightly noted that he broke up with me three weeks ago. He couldn't deal with my illness any longer. And I let him go because he deserves it. I am deeply grateful for the time he spent next to me, feeding me off the spoon and putting the dragon on me. But I cannot force this burden on anyone.

Author: Sasha Khrenova 

#depression #suicide #bipolar

You can find this essay on Facebook if you want to share it. It would be appropriate due to my authorship. Also, it has pictures. 
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bipolarreddit,Triposer,2019/02/26,"Latuda and pristiq Hi, has anyone taken that combination?  I have been on latuda for a couple of years, but I’m sinking into deeper depression that latuda alone can’t  handle. 
My pdoc wants me to start on a small does of pristiq. 
Any thoughts? ",3.979130434782608,6.168375826086957,5.0558695652173915,79.29728260869571,73.34782608695652,6.339130434782609,24.54347826086957,7.1686216300943375,1.3060608695652167,192,6,32,2,4,63,38,46,0.16899999999999998,0.831,0.0,-0.8364,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,9,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,3,0,7,6,0,6,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4016322581664074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637096899531126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711509538360476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4290809445325134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3340019354773888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33935660257713673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27447891701767124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078610002368035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22872788853427906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24972328072325664
bipolarreddit,SmokeyAx,2019/02/26,"Aripiprazole prescribed to my 16 year old brother. Hi,

My little brother, 16y, has been diagnosed with Major depression and anxiety. He describes intense feelings of anger, anxiety, and goes through episodes of blacking out. The psych has just prescribed him Aripiprazole 5mg. My mom is very concerned and wants to consider other options, mainly due to his age. Do you guys have any suggestions? Thanks.",5.604514925373135,9.188051746268659,4.759832089552241,75.85377798507467,76.31343283582089,8.126119402985074,38.22574626865672,8.841846274778883,4.511120895522389,325,20,45,8,8,97,55,67,0.14400000000000002,0.8,0.055999999999999994,-0.765,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,6,1,0,0,0,9,9,3,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,6,1,8,8,2,6,0,1,1,0,10,2,0,1,4,27,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19983952854945625,0.0,0.4496146570109323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531070789711019,0.2982686570891169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14858790418271953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909743736080184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945317756021877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441732917110741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083638152056193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27055310432302737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24247091949954966,0.17333027625541522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18924061037132206
bipolarreddit,SealEvil,2019/02/26,"Someone be my friend. Please. I need someone who understands. Bipolar is different. People think that they understand when they have depression and things like that, but they don't. They can't. I just need someone who won't run away when I get bad. I am very supportive as well, even when I am going through a tough time.

Right now, I am laying in bed. I can't do anything. I have a son that I need to be taking care of, but I am frozen here.

My post history tells you who I am. If we have stuff in common, let's definitely talk. I am more comfortable talking to girls than guys these days, but I guess that it doesn't matter. Let's be friends. Let's build each other up.",0.7630018248175183,3.1043484890510946,2.1333166058394184,95.01851505474457,86.00729927007298,5.760766423357666,20.24133211678832,7.1686216300943375,0.4325624087591251,521,16,116,8,16,167,86,137,0.071,0.723,0.205,0.9624,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,1,4,0,8,10,0,0,2,0,22,1,0,0,0,16,34,9,0,4,5,1,0,1,2,1,1,0,1,2,12,3,0,0,3,0,0,2,5,3,1,0,0,0,21,7,10,27,2,15,0,1,0,0,17,5,0,2,8,82,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11746513320154628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13411152661144413,0.0,0.11918424648522155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14553576232116794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920572746720896,0.0,0.12294413441348424,0.0,0.0,0.14913580827564032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428025010630804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22056541244764605,0.0,0.074577203271885,0.0,0.08112400291192197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15724724871401013,0.14133777942981984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4378924452842319,0.0,0.06973690480995418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3175258548932739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895986032674968,0.0,0.0,0.15668869122667994,0.0,0.0,0.13670811121649634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12190154145809395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36283644494217865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634063151266794,0.0,0.16198279825175085,0.0,0.0,0.10732479479529736,0.2294624551673808,0.12476346833526655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483195042252393,0.09146380017277576,0.0,0.0,0.0832344542339279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29720050511620943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117777730435257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834288853752818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Greanbeens,2019/02/26,"Just started Lithium. Bipolar II. Looking for others experiences and advice as I’m feeling very anxious. Hi guys. Long time lurker of this sub so I know you all are kind and give good advice. 

I just started 450mg of the extended release type of Lithium last night. I took it after a meal but by the time it hit my stomach I had really bad nausea. I went and laid down and after about 30 mins that passed thankfully. I woke up during the night quite thirsty and today I have been drinking plenty of water. 

I have been feeling dizzy at times, have been sweaty - sometimes hot flashes and then feel cold later. Hands and feet sweating a lot. Also I am feeling very anxious (there is a lot going on in my life so that would make sense but I wasn’t anxious this badly and in this way before the lithium). I feel ‘out of it’ too - like dissociated maybe - the anxiety makes this scary, although I am in a rational state of mind. I also have a feeling of just being a bit unwell in some hard to define way. I feel a icky lol

I have no symptoms of toxicity at all thankfully. No shakes. However searching reddit and Google I can’t kind anyone reporting anxiety, dizziness and feeling slightly out of it and unwell. I know it is early days and I might need to adjust but after hours of obsessive Googling and worry I just need some feedback as to whether what I am feeling is normal or not? 

I am also on Lamictal 200mg but have been for many months already. I was on 25mg Seroquel since the Friday before last to help with sleep but my last dose of that was Saturday night. I stopped it as it wasn’t helping me sleep and I was getting no benefit.

If anyone has some experience with lithium I’d really appreciate some reassurance. Especially regarding the feeling of not quite being here or right in some way. 

Thank you 🙏🏻 ",2.6273722334004006,4.983736791549298,4.154446680080486,83.34281690140847,78.26760563380282,6.536016096579478,26.48088531187123,7.6583078777640585,1.688885714285714,1431,58,266,22,35,475,187,355,0.12300000000000001,0.73,0.147,0.7982,1,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,2,0,2,13,13,0,2,14,1,30,13,6,2,2,64,60,33,0,5,15,0,13,1,0,2,4,0,0,1,16,18,3,1,13,1,0,5,8,4,0,0,13,15,30,9,42,42,10,49,0,0,1,0,8,15,0,11,26,183,46,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618622910498909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139438121778176,0.19869435439222674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12671477298225958,0.2806904661428717,0.0,0.11581991182674173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830316485358474,0.0,0.0,0.14094813675280046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09041843675192696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05341231249267682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113247113946892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16202850474086994,0.0,0.0,0.4187648746060615,0.05916691701390981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04327024561803035,0.07944888336086231,0.04706874725134687,0.069465830005563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200522629870298,0.0,0.0,0.07419081922391213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102554926473512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156142034452349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17248942325583336,0.09103186211583204,0.20252906262800247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058498504440070015,0.040461868605704415,0.0,0.0,0.07329345610062671,0.06954828503142424,0.0,0.0,0.14082190074881856,0.0,0.0,0.11056653275281644,0.08396689594049449,0.08320423304821538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08785936635815034,0.08362500403541859,0.0,0.06610646061939057,0.0,0.0,0.12282056829276565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331640314020857,0.08114641676070697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17617939989616627,0.0,0.0,0.10611374998136397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072817709291544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06850989848688573,0.0,0.16576044259105238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191150259548619,0.0,0.11724142407593467,0.0,0.0,0.06924157069943508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608211672080017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22874971707008485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448797402118134,0.0,0.07850406416197392,0.0,0.09201652218629973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667102279736446,0.0,0.19721695799443453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677534924332348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410814593018072,0.0,0.058833242594433136,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hazelerea,2019/02/26,"Bipolar disorder and pregnancy? I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant. This was not planned. I was not comfortable with terminating the pregnancy, so here we are. I was previously on 50mg seroquel, and 100mg lamictal, and since finding out I was pregnant, I had to drop the seroquel, but stayed on lamictal and actually bumped up to 200mg because I was not fairing well without the seroquel. I'm in therapy once a week and I see my psychiatric nurse once a month. My OB is okay with me taking lamictal I'd it is helping me, which was a relief as I was scared I was going to fave judgement and have to advocate hard for myself. 

Anyways, where I am at now is that I'm struggling to sleep more than 4 or 5 hours at a time. I'm craving coffee again, I want a pack of cigarettes, my driving habits are slipping into unsafe behaviors, and I'm picking fights and arguments...all which are my known mania symptoms. I'm sure there are more I'm just unaware of, and I've suspected an episode was coming on as soon as my sleep became troublesome, though I wanted to brush that off as 2nd trimester energy boosts, but it's clearly more than that. 

My therapist gave me a whole packet of stuff to help me calm my senses, and not agitate myself more, which I guess will be helpful, but I'm so, so, so scared. I'm not going to give in to the symptoms if I can help it, I'm definitely not going to pick up smoking again and will actively remove myself from the temptation, but I'm just so worried because this could go so many different ways and I feel more like a fish out of water than I've ever felt in my life. 

I guess I just needed to vent a little, but also, are there any moms here who have experienced pregnancy with their bipolar disorder? What did you experience while pregnant? What about post partum? Is there any advice/tips/suggestions you could give me? I tried researching on Google but it's just freaked me out even more so I thought that asking people who ACTUALLY have to deal with it would be better and more accurate.",5.456775818639798,5.988717528967258,6.296902770780858,78.20093098236778,67.66498740554154,9.777692695214107,32.504685138539045,9.791249743138472,3.0648463274559195,1597,66,307,34,25,528,200,397,0.105,0.755,0.14,0.9499,2,0,1,0,1,0,44.0,1,2,1,2,28,13,1,3,14,1,32,8,2,2,3,61,62,35,0,7,19,1,3,1,0,3,5,0,0,0,19,23,1,0,6,0,0,7,7,5,1,0,14,6,39,8,47,41,8,41,0,0,1,0,17,18,0,4,13,214,58,1,0.0,0.0,0.20390208902279325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835474029914315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14209109582280238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766859949143257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273721255814903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239830176418587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999465099244561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16682714295634982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770756889294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091525489602349,0.23947131498068455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900374722006243,0.0945022425003873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219510883758247,0.0,0.0,0.05282492979388494,0.07463587389750863,0.10031092296547924,0.0,0.0954868666297354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004409605599407,0.2374987416389696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301786299692019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358771603135882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.280105481662203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288533171847426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379270749489061,0.0510404644237751,0.1047098715997858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059197094130602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235807531958028,0.08338973378382246,0.0,0.0,0.07746576051076089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225216898613214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724287555370288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005671324247084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20919235499881186,0.0,0.08325183611792042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08642154099386677,0.0,0.2090978559439305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135482741599292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921836332643202,0.11959713779343085,0.0,0.0,0.09846501707009407,0.21717589263249332,0.07855105392857106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194745275903834,0.12130176080241847,0.0,0.0,0.10264466216111294,0.08294027210856214,0.06091932545237842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709306340654598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232423288383905,0.08292618437350953,0.16760464537954234,0.0,0.0939342039096235,0.0,0.0,0.11664090775461187,0.0,0.10070870510537026,0.0,0.0,0.10609788865494583,0.0,0.07421496161828628,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,StuddedMohawk,2019/02/26,"My Diagnosis is the worst thing to happen to me I was diagnosed a month ago after going in for a [TMS](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transcranial_magnetic_stimulation) consultation for what I thought was my life long clinical depression. The psychiatrist told me I was not a candidate because I was not depressed but had bipolar type 2. I got a second opinion and he also confirmed bipolar type 2. 

​

Ever since I got my diagnosis, I've kinda gone off the deep end. On one side, I got an answer to my problem and a potential solution. But on the other side, I am now unable to see any part of me with any normalcy. Everything about me is now seen with discernment and that is causing me to lose my mind, so to speak. I don't want to call it a mental health crisis, but that's what it feels like.

​

I'm 27 and have obviously lived with this most of my life, but I always just thought I had depression that I was able to come in and out of depending on my lifestyle choices and I was probably a bit ADHD, loud, laughed too much etc... But now when I'm in a ""good"" mood, I just think I'm hypomanic.

​

The doctor gave me a mood stabilizer that caused extremely vivid hallucinations and I was scared to sleep... I would stay up all night just because I knew I would wake up with crazy hallucinations - I saw my girlfriend turn into a wearwolf and bite my neck. CRAZY things like that...

​

So now I'm depressed and it's hard for me to work, I keep having meltdowns and I don't know what to do... I'm fearing that this will ruin my career and even though I'm optimistic that I'll eventually find a drug that helps me, I don't know how much time I have to get stable. Why is this happening to me just because I got a diagnosis?

​

I talk to my therapist and I try to go to support groups as often as possible but I don't know who else to ask... any insight would be helpful... :/",4.449268171915229,5.7241136336898375,5.6507248960190175,79.22135967518322,70.41711229946523,8.74929689047336,29.359873242226186,9.150863307647796,2.4077943355119817,1505,58,297,30,27,502,187,374,0.133,0.784,0.084,-0.9665,0,0,1,0,0,0,77.0,0,0,0,2,19,17,0,2,18,0,27,12,3,4,3,61,62,26,0,5,12,0,2,2,1,4,9,2,0,0,21,19,0,1,12,0,0,4,6,10,0,2,21,8,47,5,42,36,8,32,0,6,4,0,13,14,0,5,15,202,68,6,0.06931666906006431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330516593992826,0.0,0.061445044793259775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05543251520391068,0.05767702150055697,0.3755229098319062,0.4211366999774485,0.1414131357921255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648017285086498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12676439425486094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567584975370256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07078006917853448,0.0,0.0,0.1424146265599019,0.0,0.05971017267791081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23880938196289295,0.0703549599915443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07094854798173622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038532952373158,0.0,0.057905182478981035,0.0,0.06139399450982221,0.0,0.07730640903593435,0.045783006173096864,0.06270089561902513,0.0,0.0,0.062297352586563125,0.0,0.0,0.07800052387368964,0.03504859060963696,0.049519842226635316,0.0,0.0,0.06335417974355767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0362150986438735,0.0,0.07878852086019979,0.058139533300493575,0.22175548978224227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12259300305599967,0.0,0.062094120296469615,0.0,0.0,0.07368037781727195,0.0,0.0,0.09292300427657348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06161184036914427,0.0,0.0,0.11428388558372185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792082658913467,0.06772924636510233,0.0,0.0612078887202844,0.06134307084978901,0.0,0.07754762216094234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985489895798748,0.0,0.069990075789518,0.0,0.05532790392414568,0.0,0.10191145487462168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504899827293165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046970768884594935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075063197731961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814412934431388,0.0,0.0,0.07473509307834117,0.06632669086984425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939807811981177,0.0,0.05523641078147453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057339464945178775,0.0,0.06936672872947224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388234634174012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865973460966905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05571411292172242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08048199536053573,0.09210182974070702,0.04441532264926519,0.0681032754115614,0.11005938497324404,0.04041910715880997,0.0,0.0,0.0662350477874849,0.0,0.04706146822612633,0.07539663115475786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040884767344594085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06254751230853063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050463360633270886,0.0,0.0,0.14772171872362874,0.0,0.4211366999774485,0.0
bipolarreddit,anosako,2018/12/04,"Well hello, you mixed state, you! Diagnosed BPD2 in May. Honestly, 15 years too late (yayyyyy USA!) Been diligently taking my meds for all my broken features for the last two months (I’m suuuuuper bad at not consistently taking meds), yet insomnia hit me this weekend. Worked yesterday (I was refreshed except for my back pain) - kinda ok kinda meh (call centers 🤷🏻‍♀️) and then kept on purging, reorganizing, cleaning my madness (I have a hella hard time letting go of things...) and concurrently listening to a Japanese TV show in the background. Ho hum WAIT WHY IS IT 6AM AND I AM NOT TIRED WAIT- so I lay down, sleep? Woke up 2 hours later... then dropped a basket of art supplies and had a BREAKDOWN. Called in FMLA, talked with my therapist before her next client and noted appropriately that I’m DEFINITELY MIXED. Mostly manic but I dip super easy. 🤦🏻‍♀️ So TODAY! I am going to try to rein myself back in. And I was so good! Oh well that’s ok, I’ll just make sure to make it through the best of my abilities. ANYWAY! It’ll pass, just not sure when. Weeeeeeeee!!! (Ok, bye.)",0.4720054945054954,2.8530452115384652,2.555598901098904,87.32511538461539,99.28846153846158,5.261758241758242,20.365934065934066,6.868970318607317,0.8379245604395602,836,30,162,15,35,279,147,208,0.034,0.76,0.205,0.9897,1,0,0,0,1,0,50.0,0,2,0,3,13,14,1,0,7,3,11,6,1,2,3,27,25,13,0,0,7,0,1,0,0,2,4,1,1,0,7,7,0,4,0,4,0,3,3,3,2,1,6,2,18,11,21,15,3,31,0,0,0,1,9,9,0,4,18,92,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300844149993459,0.12491956927287855,0.0,0.0,0.12730858727357786,0.0,0.1570083105011122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30554066657205936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518527858332909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17005562060931634,0.12548724496166888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402274909998751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473374453796237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12195355180056172,0.16876858050487667,0.0,0.0,0.1529881598335134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19973402144628435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323698728396694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941867845860415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15911380274407422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15919745972835728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14971980657765308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820146240878319,0.0,0.22497884634092224,0.12025226449437135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737107832395639,0.0993954045894612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723981967578799,0.1719567079097781,0.14181445365572226,0.0,0.0,0.1015765634207039,0.0,0.14614894886458776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690378775408555,0.0,0.13500134165571204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10891914224090517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09634506742386824
bipolarreddit,the_asian_girl,2018/12/04,"Short term disability options advice needed Hello,

I've posted previously that I was denied short-term disability coverage through my employer because of my bipolar diagnosis.  I tried to appeal it with a letter from my psychiatrist, but the underwriter denied me again.

My husband and I want to start a family within the next year, but I don't have enough PTO (paid time off) to cover maternity leave (yay, USA! /s)  I'm hoping I can get short-term disability coverage before we try to conceive.

Are there ANY insurance companies who will cover someone bipolar?!  I'm bipolar II and high-functioning.",6.612169811320754,8.702874698113206,7.945424528301888,61.697570754717034,66.16981132075472,10.960377358490566,34.94811320754717,10.9516,4.733418867924528,482,23,70,15,8,165,77,106,0.077,0.871,0.052000000000000005,-0.3682,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,4,1,6,3,0,0,0,10,14,4,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,11,2,10,11,2,10,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,2,6,41,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546133376744813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17718773165756144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588331617649791,0.0,0.2217148620895784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692250881571434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456300016041239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613030666179654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752928332121167,0.0,0.2587919458563243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758922988037445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19319975409503332,0.0,0.0,0.27710538297107096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24954163318795974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22076914638370745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18442362395872647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15193291357928235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35380227261431235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536833012977956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16779020012994414
bipolarreddit,flictonicclipple,2018/12/04,"Three years in the dark.. I haven't really worked in nearly three years now. I found myself a year out of college, making $8.50 an hour, barely being able to afford food and gas and rent. My mom told me everyday that I was wasting my life working for a tiny paycheck with no real health benefits and that I should just come home and live with my parents for free. It took me 6 months before I was forced to pick them up on that offer. Since then my mental health has been up and down, even so down that I decided to start taking medications again. A combination of Cymbalta, Trileptal and Amitriptyline is pretty much the only thing keeping me alive. 

​

I've reached a point in my life where the meds are just starting to work, but I still need money for basic everyday necessities. Unfortunately, the medications have not made it any easier to leave my house and I find myself in a full on panic if I have to do anything outside of my room. I guess what im looking for is an answer to how everyone has been able to have stability or even a basic job and sustain it long term. 

Ive been doing independent contract work online but I haven't been able to find employment that has benefits, doesn't require talking on the phone or that doesn't involve working on commission. I have a Bachelors Degree in Psychology, and I want to be able to do most of my work online, any suggestions??",5.787287581699347,6.400127833333336,6.468562091503268,76.97441176470589,66.96296296296296,9.4640522875817,30.326797385620914,9.478462496947786,2.651973856209151,1105,39,207,21,17,363,155,270,0.055,0.8759999999999999,0.069,0.3939,5,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,7,10,4,0,1,14,0,27,7,0,5,0,39,41,17,0,4,8,2,0,0,0,1,6,0,3,0,11,13,1,2,5,0,3,2,6,1,0,2,10,1,28,4,36,28,4,36,0,0,1,0,9,19,0,5,15,147,39,10,0.4040437396561517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944530577743723,0.12273934211833948,0.1373817991081941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312339274481452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859528658049491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701197630901883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343353970781213,0.0,0.0,0.09652027703888083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846443290881013,0.0,0.12214282344973565,0.11075327642421626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11127493288130996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21473980065871545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10132220364699776,0.0,0.09947542378696374,0.11655305690307452,0.0,0.0,0.10910914327061864,0.0,0.10023776665923563,0.08978316012370649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695599524634583,0.0,0.0,0.14269402115605204,0.0,0.0,0.08919450613521138,0.08939149877017337,0.08482374507375791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955789889578928,0.0674255834178845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11220037740425563,0.2035157800731381,0.101795264367907,0.0,0.0,0.11830278614912527,0.08062596454785324,0.0,0.07425465962895021,0.07489832833385023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682336772917904,0.0,0.1185145680998792,0.11216068938382763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954879831132876,0.0,0.0,0.1027644348941844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497255804013945,0.06471019143874479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355728917909196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14299211926516964,0.0,0.08066746310349457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594765208940055,0.08118876325769367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710717678413589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09652027703888083,0.11222686536379486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059578866515380476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4412229819110888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12273934211833948,0.19514319093315136
bipolarreddit,hyper_thymic,2018/12/04,"Ginger.io? My health insurance set me up with it because my work schedule prevents me from being able to see a therapist during regular business hours. Has anyone used it? The therapy is as good as one can expect from a Skype style session, but I'm not sure what the coaches are for? How have you taken advantage of having them?",4.673548387096774,6.660237322580645,5.4234193548387095,78.26512903225809,70.93548387096773,8.185806451612903,31.754838709677426,8.841846274778883,2.9484412903225805,262,12,44,5,5,85,55,62,0.038,0.8590000000000001,0.102,0.4796,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,1,2,1,3,0,0,4,0,7,1,0,2,1,8,11,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,6,3,9,9,0,4,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,33,9,2,0.3074665719656512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21498777607226344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18742876846871684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578883729120869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32682258821439103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.302792638961681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2083473064613512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450110500253567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897836053602111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35161482102017205,0.35699238803608496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655523989698619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238393263001925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tjhiggins13,2018/12/04,"No doctor knows what’s up I have been to lots of therapists and doctors and psychiatrists and each have told me something else. My mother is an addict and bipolar 1, my sister is an alcohol and my dad has untreated OCD (must use 3 towels each time washes his hands, only eats things in color order...im premed and though he hasn’t been diagnosed and i’m just a dumb undergrad it’s pretty obvious). I have obsessions but no compulsions, been told i’m OCD by one doctor been told I have GAD by another. I obsess for a week or two on something-usually medical (premed ya know)-and then it dies down. I have panic attacks and suicidal thoughts (all my doctors and important people know about it and i’m in good care). I sleep okay. I forget to eat a lot so one doctor thought I had an eating disorder but i’m just distracted usually. Seriously though the obsessions are so bad, I will skip class to continue googling about every autoimmune disorder and every symptom of OCD and every ingredient in my face wash. It’s ridiculous and my most recent doctor thinks it’s a sign of early bipolar 2. Does anyone relate to any of this??? Please help ",2.79456819535438,5.389870497716899,4.395624379591027,80.50742108397857,79.18264840182648,8.009608894183046,25.960095294818345,8.841846274778883,2.4623772483621207,905,36,162,23,23,302,133,219,0.212,0.715,0.073,-0.9867,1,0,3,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,0,0,8,13,3,5,8,1,17,21,3,1,3,34,31,21,2,1,5,3,1,0,0,2,15,0,0,0,8,15,4,0,5,0,0,0,3,10,0,3,10,2,18,3,19,19,6,13,0,0,1,0,10,6,1,4,7,104,26,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035828676575119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154458295494403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461501328515169,0.09963390988812428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06643829617149406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809588084168802,0.0,0.0,0.0793354655781724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687645643214927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09644054597330606,0.09861294237225797,0.0,0.2177960851000284,0.5835253154172182,0.08315026796256265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29167921637185823,0.07937475074434007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24016848649692504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969599207798134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368808444343976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026349747597976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566570476760931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16156059872293124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571992009514664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877234516402944,0.07226492823145632,0.0,0.11148231340640466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587302285413282,0.0,0.0,0.10430044771768182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666673997622416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381810771441962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508590711808428,0.0,0.0,0.073148949480119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393348979661356,0.0,0.0,0.09875934242328002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032239339662768,0.06312526328208984,0.06088324073228798,0.1867080036446836,0.15086622432279986,0.0554053440243259,0.0,0.0,0.2723792681551143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928180826224634,0.0,0.0,0.08206442828582114,0.10464811743591647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762171360924527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,smolcrockpot,2018/12/04,"Meds I'm on an SSRI, except it definitely induces mania, but a mood stabilizer will turn me into a zombie. Anyone else feel like they can't win? Lol. I don't want to die but I also want to feel guilty for the awful things I still do.",-0.2131333333333316,1.93378302,3.0,88.39666666666666,88.8,4.933333333333334,14.333333333333336,6.42735559955562,-0.4800666666666666,181,3,39,2,6,65,40,50,0.292,0.552,0.156,-0.7994,0,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,1,1,2,3,0,0,4,2,4,0,0,1,0,9,10,3,1,2,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,5,2,6,9,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,25,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454801384494375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146373615702175,0.314522352101893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3185816462364192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564302225794977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104218830288385,0.21929616004382824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996780060963594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409693853574154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451429839102955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039341876606768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3338902336725539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3621123202259437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Millsbeastice,2018/12/04,"Just feeling lost and need help I don’t know what to do anymore. My emotions continue to get the better of me (I’m a cook at a local hospital). 

My latest episode had me walking away from my boss and then throwing my tongs and walking out of the  kitchen exclaiming “I’m leaving”.  My boss grabbed me and and took me into the the head of the depts office and explained the situation. By this point I was almost in tears apologizing profusely. They gave me some time alone in the cafeteria to gather myself to decide whether or not I was going to continue on with the day (I did not)

I’m gravely worried for my job and for myself as this isn’t how I act normally, but I’ve had a couple of incidents like this in the last year and I’ve come quite close to losing my job. Today’s incident probably sealed the deal for me and I’ve spend the day with some suicidal ideations and beating myself up and sleeping. 

I just don’t know what my options are, I currently am allowed one FMLA Day (I can miss a max of three days for one call off). What resources should I pursue if i want to keep my job and sanity ? I generally see a therapist that I’ve been seeing for years (but had unfortunately been out of work with a knee injury since the end of September).  

Any help and ideas would be greatly appreciated. ",5.208923076923078,5.490777700000002,6.269038461538463,79.05971153846156,68.15384615384616,9.576923076923078,31.634615384615394,9.516144504307137,2.747576923076924,1022,40,205,20,16,342,148,260,0.11900000000000001,0.812,0.069,-0.9078,5,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,6,3,7,0,0,18,0,18,6,3,4,0,51,37,21,2,6,9,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,7,21,3,1,6,1,1,7,5,4,0,3,11,4,30,3,36,23,2,36,0,4,2,0,9,14,0,6,16,138,37,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12863699034576392,0.13304877280795027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735914487050361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274006306695368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069507865064005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361495360233087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311749353978226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110659372539765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14214170287505554,0.0,0.3313916495515698,0.13243956012982094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14450341842134407,0.11377995750931752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06495467809458072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671165383160797,0.0,0.07300839949631638,0.0,0.0,0.14163074838131876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318399481861464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17221188428348894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14501892390638552,0.0,0.0,0.3824386768519592,0.11418368580253485,0.0,0.0,0.1411996482667398,0.10471437048593904,0.0,0.13602361221279316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276046081613525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14371707240858891,0.14023237861413906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09525357737268282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586632019170116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740995069807411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143891846424874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13850468246610215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663605642566284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20473652258211988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10626579907625452,0.1443976285786206,0.12855562682335328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14051751025679693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14915527301162673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490772235642998,0.0,0.12176776339119245,0.0,0.14272695587509598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07577071875494289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352248659618212,0.13046026243643866,0.0,0.09125632462791246,0.0,0.0,0.16545173036394087
bipolarreddit,bingedown,2019/01/19,"I no longer see this as an illness I was diagnosed 4 years ago after a psychotic episode. Tried many medications to control the swings including Depakote, Lithium, Quetiapine and so on. Nothing worked and I started thinking about that. This 'illness' is not understood in any capacity. No one knows why people get it, no one knows how medication works or if it will work. The medication is proven to be severely damaging to our bodies and often meds stop working all together but are difficult to stop taking due to withdrawals. I'm not anti med in anyway, but I'm anti long term meds. No doubt medication has helped during acute episodes but keeping me on them long term did more damage to my life than good.

​

I've been volunteering, writing music, walking. If I feel depressed I accept that. I lay in bed and cry, and that's okay I think. I feel much better saying to myself 'you have extreme moods swings, experience them' rather than 'you have extreme mood swings, you need to suppress that as well as all your other emotions.'

​

 I've started looking for alternative ways to bring myself some peace. I have been off medication for two months now and have really enjoyed the lows and highs I've been experiencing. I feel more like myself, I don't have the constant sedation. I've stopped thinking 'why do I feel this way' and just experience my emotions without any judgement or thinking that there's something wrong with me. Bipolar can be a gift, to experience life in ways others cannot.

​

I think being told that bipolar is a bad thing and it's an illness did me so much more harm than if had been told that i'm ok the way I am, I just need to learn how to experience it whilst keeping myself safe.",5.16925925925926,7.0326274320987725,5.598350617283952,78.0083777777778,69.4320987654321,8.146962962962965,31.787160493827162,8.726425361277474,2.7045354567901243,1384,61,244,24,25,443,174,324,0.166,0.711,0.12300000000000001,-0.9186,0,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,1,4,2,6,13,20,0,1,10,2,27,14,1,3,2,56,55,24,0,6,14,0,4,1,0,1,13,1,1,0,17,10,0,8,14,0,0,2,9,9,1,3,11,8,31,9,31,40,10,32,0,4,2,0,12,9,0,8,18,162,48,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651838418052255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390235961036135,0.2680571700002991,0.10001187786223716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06139818356557715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06503523403213089,0.0,0.0816801826289523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946460307635811,0.08247512413239284,0.0,0.0,0.08077412640444145,0.0,0.0,0.06333510304959718,0.07463590591775199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16543268887595167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2877231591183813,0.0,0.0,0.1487248837384067,0.05253301666198487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038418708439477575,0.0,0.0,0.06167719714486612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04928858324711394,0.07769317027199635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13072157305650314,0.0,0.0,0.08082520723833306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038790953981572,0.035925211670886935,0.0,0.0,0.1301513259392403,0.061750407166040876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455237768194238,0.0,0.0,0.2450405478868569,0.370391046554918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05869448625093754,0.0,0.1081125447143692,0.10904970693405316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07055827577303847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996576755292431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050979519937805286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047108043457175265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584775359548468,0.0,0.0,0.058597425950010024,0.0,0.0,0.08307298334347435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05661040236014125,0.0,0.0,0.10409610632590427,0.0,0.0,0.18443424657737084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055288745335958886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04885301263909747,0.2355894909865325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14053061207677958,0.0,0.04992505596334062,0.0,0.0718324602184832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23347285416075625,0.0,0.0,0.06611629021575985,0.0,0.1327067841303581,0.0,0.0,0.07088457342339682,0.0,0.2141357844263468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039836350001878,0.2680571700002991,0.04735376666570745
bipolarreddit,koolaidbootywarrior,2019/03/11,"My attention span has plummeted to almost nothing. After a year of trying I finally finished a book! I used to be an avid reader, among other attention intensive hobbies, but as my illness has progressed I’ve lost all ability to concentrate it seems. I bought Carrie Fisher’s “Wishful Drinking” last February on a recommendation and because I knew it was relatively short. After literally just over a year of struggling to try to read it I’ve finally finished! It was incredibly frustrating because it really was a fascinating and hilarious read, but I just couldn’t for the life of me focus long enough to retain anything. Even though it took me a stupidly long time to complete It still feels like a pretty big accomplishment and I just wanted to share!

Side note: I’d highly recommend ""Wishful Drinking"" to anyone reading this. Carrie’s retelling of her life is bittersweet in the best way possible. Her humor in addressing the problems she faced was really relatable and refreshing. Though, as you probably guessed from the title, the whole thing is basically one giant trigger warning.",5.699377545084353,8.655201732984295,6.588123909249562,66.72859656777197,70.93717277486911,9.898894706224553,35.21844095404305,10.125756701596842,4.668915997673066,885,47,126,27,18,292,124,191,0.122,0.7090000000000001,0.16899999999999998,0.9009999999999999,0,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,4,7,9,2,1,13,0,10,6,1,2,1,25,21,10,0,5,5,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,10,4,2,1,5,6,1,1,1,5,0,1,8,1,14,4,24,11,4,26,0,1,0,0,5,11,0,3,14,89,24,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262325487077337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814524779237183,0.0,0.10373800978604472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536920427935491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322939408482947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13217325814568012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469848805719689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025539915704187,0.0,0.08326254133111714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06374056594708984,0.09005847922080046,0.0,0.27618878603061386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388711371733911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13319107116119547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275708283625323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17808216525209192,0.06158736227890529,0.0,0.0,0.2231212145702016,0.0,0.0,0.1376111996730464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12095956821683893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542264723337617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142115587052439,0.0,0.12825003408412122,0.13591579707094087,0.12062398915062506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.378287339568112,0.0,0.16151666218287522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476180598011244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067300913156917,0.0,0.0,0.13178702399425704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374976925350298,0.0,0.2477098931555819,0.0,0.07350757107677328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14005914909064812,0.17117519231768902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887680423834632,0.0,0.0,0.0743544366215677,0.10006188260778533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407433479205857,0.2899293886257798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16235915933517292
bipolarreddit,knuck_if_you_cuck,2019/03/11,"Vivid dreams are making it impossible to get rest I have Bipolar II and I'm so sick and tired of feeling like I get no rest at all. Every night I have dreams that are either nightmares (people murdering me, my loved ones dying, at one point I even dreamed someone was slicing open my veins and I was heading towards the light and forced myself to wake up so I wouldn't die) or dreams that genuinely feel like real life and then I wake up confused that I'm in my bed. For the past few nights I've had dreams that I'm in relationships or in love with someone and then I wake up and am honestly kind of sad that it's not real. The content of the dreams and the lack of restful sleep is really starting to drag me into a bad depressive episode. I feel so helpless..I take 75 mg of Lamictal and 75 mg of Wellbutrin. I know vivid dreams can be a side effect of lamictal but I'm very sensitive to medication and terrified to try different drugs. I was prescribed vistaril but I hate taking it because of how tired it makes me the next day and it honestly didn't really stop the dreams. I used to smoke weed and it definitely made it so I have no dreams but I started to get horrible panic attacks so that's a no go. Does anyone have any experiences like this and could offer me advice or medications to look into?",3.3107313566936187,4.863620932075474,4.6936927223719715,83.88704402515725,73.64150943396227,8.066486972147349,26.95867026055705,8.704169506293173,1.9514707996406115,1037,38,211,20,21,345,143,265,0.185,0.664,0.151,-0.9346,1,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,7,16,3,2,10,0,17,16,6,6,1,43,41,27,3,3,8,0,3,3,0,1,8,0,1,0,14,17,0,1,5,9,0,1,6,8,0,2,6,7,23,8,29,32,7,25,0,2,3,2,4,14,0,4,13,134,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382665002807195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921299844251868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144820195162787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325171721774291,0.0,0.0,0.09725913207734957,0.07100746128307177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300285945891404,0.0,0.0,0.07512243354346168,0.0,0.10032735163987604,0.0,0.24178364913656664,0.12170080948023056,0.0,0.0,0.10193578414270882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350842610206641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693647078191634,0.0,0.0981426502375764,0.0,0.0,0.11394353671928475,0.0,0.0,0.17669317238741405,0.16643214210050755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18257397962101465,0.0,0.06620044466054707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500366588312412,0.11954601462516297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129998338176218,0.06401646636317954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227597359304707,0.17072434576539194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978170795554158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21026240786388115,0.11021981590875084,0.15550772137029714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23469040694779955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238818741250264,0.21862436625925072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15786491495254046,0.0,0.0,0.13666867604373314,0.0,0.0,0.1111969956522474,0.08075522067481332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11011486975323724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26516819899246025,0.1492450477989597,0.0,0.0,0.1250600399980155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656795270180842,0.0,0.1973927414167278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648957080802815,0.0,0.0,0.09738569724024564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17516268634486998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677620530319003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07908487401294946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10060462885464952,0.0,0.0961113584889217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pigeonsplease,2019/03/11,"Help Coping With Hypersexuality??? I’ve been feeling super hypersexual for the last month and a half after about a year of having absolutely zero interest in sex whatsoever. And I don’t know how to deal. Help!!! 

As background, I have a lot of sexual trauma going back to childhood that I’m in the process of finding a therapist to deal with (life is hard without insurance). 

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years and he’s amazing, but he’s not feeling the same need to suddenly have sex all the time and the sex we have been having feels a bit unfulfilling and like I’m just going through the motions.

I’ve also had what was a harmless crush on a coworker for a while, but lately I feel like it’s getting into risky territory where I’m changing my wardrobe and behavior and it even got to the point where he (jokingly? I can’t tell right now!) asked me out even though he knows my boyfriend well. And I didn’t say yes but the best I could do was say that it’d make my boyfriend sad. 

And I’m afraid I’m going to do something I regret and hurt the people I care about.

I just was hoping that people might have some coping strategies. I could really use any help I can get right now.

Thanks!",4.1659946302172335,5.216769182572616,5.264134732731268,82.5711935562607,70.86721991701245,8.160214791310715,27.45447888699048,8.4952907291091,1.7895382474981698,947,32,194,15,17,313,134,241,0.077,0.716,0.207,0.9861,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,1,0,0,2,15,17,0,1,17,1,24,4,0,3,1,44,48,18,0,5,7,0,5,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,7,16,0,0,7,1,0,4,5,5,1,2,9,7,17,12,26,35,6,27,0,3,0,3,14,10,0,5,15,125,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299541094119693,0.0,0.0,0.1037835704955798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08825361849746782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12132508752621812,0.0,0.0,0.09979141626516984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13619420220489134,0.0,0.14168416964006378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323175124892245,0.0,0.13728811551181375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20723464681915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26759122770708704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17143453913958248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624790061158441,0.0927135638307717,0.0,0.0,0.1186149132042503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560749423997498,0.0,0.2212678058768692,0.0,0.10379547284629402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625576590641565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609627525340524,0.0,0.0,0.12889902391188907,0.0,0.0,0.1389302349787295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14264539686808478,0.10578654493204513,0.14639544942400254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166617256961443,0.12680613515168784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033277499296416,0.0,0.0,0.08662794860103491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13767414937409206,0.0,0.0,0.1035877119441829,0.0,0.0,0.09622888239610262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17994371068494536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268233619703844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08313923074534066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216597278508366,0.0,0.2064096488994998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990958993414707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343185699759427,0.11948231976698705,0.0,0.15068247955914174,0.0,0.0,0.12750641133016874,0.0,0.07567470539184208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11208668663717453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11668617724000832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510154261639567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16714579696183987
bipolarreddit,JustASmallTownBoy_,2019/03/11,I(15m) haven't taken my meds in 3 weeks. So yeah I haven't had a good night sleep in a week I went off my bipolar meds cuase I just keep on forgetting to take them so I'm in school right now so i cant take them and I'm suppose to take them at night so I'm going to try to remember to take them tonight. What I'm asking if I should tell anyone im off my meds my mom is out of town and it's just me and my twin sisters(17/17) that are home so should I tell my sister or keep this to myself.,-2.3137282608695666,-0.5393513999999993,0.4496467391304364,104.6405570652174,97.78260869565216,3.9184782608695663,12.404891304347824,5.602791699666715,-1.448989130434783,379,6,104,3,16,129,66,115,0.024,0.95,0.025,0.0225,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,4,0,8,1,0,0,2,1,8,2,1,0,0,14,22,10,0,3,4,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,4,4,0,2,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,0,18,1,15,17,0,18,0,0,0,0,9,10,0,2,6,60,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570737434683418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14133129212162807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591810522490566,0.12680117573731656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15164414962851466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632984938386602,0.0,0.0,0.26874841797469456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5037749932505808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770581842729167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28374116520375936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17125553035533014,0.12910543230276822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15300049892388445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15128746759090175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4546690341439562,0.0,0.2642729750969497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264013424659747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24253220810395526,0.0,0.0,0.1401437879734093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BipolarBilbo909,2019/03/11,"I don’t have an appointment until Thursday and I am barely hanging on... horrible mixed episode... not sure what to do in this situation It started with a massive depressive episode after over a month of doing really good. It came out of nowhere with none of the usual triggers or red flags. It got to they point where I was about to go to the ER. The only thing that stopped me is that I work at the hospital and I would have been seen by people I know. 

I made it through the night. Since then I have had a few days of being almost constantly awake, in various states of mania and hopelessness. My therapist can’t see me until Thursday and my Psych doc can’t see me until next Tuesday. My antipsychotic was gone, I had been doing so good that I hadn’t used it in forever. All I have had is my usual meds, which aren’t doing anything and my lorazepam for my panic attacks. 

Yesterday I had a huge panic attack in the middle of all this, ended up taking more loraz than ever before and it barely touched it. My girlfriend found me walking along in the snow crying by the side of the road. An absolute mess. (First time I have cried in probably 2 years too, I can’t usually get emotional but it all just started pouring out.)

I just don’t know what to do to get through until my appointment. How can I make it with all those hours between now and then?",4.208798669536293,5.279061204460966,5.240872627665818,82.70488554099005,70.78438661710037,8.3397378203874,28.656036000782624,8.6894789155246,2.1267724907063195,1060,39,209,18,19,349,150,269,0.091,0.8809999999999999,0.027999999999999997,-0.9033,1,0,0,0,0,1,28.0,0,0,1,2,9,10,2,2,15,0,31,0,0,5,6,36,49,17,0,1,5,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,19,14,0,1,3,0,0,5,9,7,1,1,15,5,29,3,42,32,8,53,0,2,4,0,2,18,0,2,29,165,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12323721994110735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012764462029142,0.0,0.0,0.2800206754610324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472383888859342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14075974193232813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13299537201553305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27037409297988324,0.07937022137384382,0.0,0.10600034815034956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384376259920751,0.10900383793787476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11132421532732106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468361242399199,0.0,0.1349403323323007,0.0,0.0,0.12859840038098105,0.0,0.06994373983790937,0.2064512112713816,0.09843063504440304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119954531452885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352725375670159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164521804715054,0.08215044220686568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13670346109444192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823361260236957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088675791927645,0.11549322571981102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360057875448377,0.0,0.28879317564134904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853215136906518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634130014984186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269069783169374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884204440674915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19614233662969924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180509989993834,0.13833627686939892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17421971356075402,0.0,0.0,0.10289235830109997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11599238782587168,0.0,0.0925336183603941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14289421056961993,0.08176249976071831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07176333518464319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629330396767893,0.4066339480555341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959671101689841,0.0,0.0,0.08742567529727252,0.0,0.0,0.0792532973202028
bipolarreddit,tearsofashes,2018/12/19,"Having real trouble choosing between being bipolar and being ""healed"" Last summer was the most off the walls manic I've ever been. For two weeks I was home alone in my uni town, my housemates and few friends had all gone back to their hometowns. It was literally just me, alone in this town, in this house and this REALLY set me off. After about one day of pure isolation I started to treat the whole house like it was one big version of my bedroom, I was completely free to do anything. I just started talking to myself, having full non stop conversation with myself, debates, random shit, whatever, different voices in my head with different opinions being vocalised. I'd just shout at random points, make weird noise sin ways that made a lot of snese at the time but have no meaning now. That whole super fast million thoughts going through your head thing was going faster than ever. Don't really know how to properly describe all this, but just please trust me when I say I was off the walls. So like this is where I should be all like pity me how bad was this but like I kind of guiltily loved it. I'd been absolutely fucking up my degree major style due to my mental health up to this point, which was when all of my final year work was due in, my heaviest workload of my life. Except I finished all that shit in record time with almost perfect marks, and all this work hadn't even been taught to us because of lecturer strikes. Prior to this I was struggling to pass anything cause I'd be way too suicidal to even think I was gonna live long enough to see deadlines, so I'd leave shit till an hour before it was due (ngl this doesn't end well with 5,000 word essays). So yeah my work improves massively, I'm super stoked. Yeah I'm thinking of starting to have these out loud debates with myself in public cause I don't care what people think of me anymore which would probably be slightly jarring to people I know, but at the same time maybe this is better than the version of me who was too scared to even talk to the shopkeeper. Fast forward to moving back to my hometown. Suddenly when seeing friends I'm the centre of everything. Everyone loves me. I always have so much to say and I'm always making everyone laugh. People I knew who thought I was boring and didn't speak are suddenly referring to me as their best friends. People literally cannot stop laughing around me. I'm out here solving all my depressed friends issues and it's making me so happy to make all my friends feel better. I could go on, but you're probably already like well duh you idiot clear choice stay bipolar dumbass. Well the slight issue with off the walls me is while the mania is off the charts, even though the depression seems to happen less it's always suicidal as fuck and I made many more attempts more consistently than usual. But when I take meds I feel the mania as if it's upset with me, as if it's a part of myself I'm slowly drowning to death and it's begging me to stop as if I'm doing some kind of careless murder. It literally feels like I'm killing a person, and then I get this weird paranoia, like thoughts that oh the government invented mental health ""issues"" but really they're super powers and they're making you take these meds cause they know you're special therefore you're dangerous to them. Now I know this is batshit crazy, but there's still that manic part of me that's like ""Yeah totally dude"" mo matter how much the logical side of my brain tells me to shut up. And all that is left is boring mediocrity and get this! Depression! And useless me. Not productive as shit manic me. No, the sleeps till afternoon and hides from the world me. The awkward me. The hides in the corner me. The single me. The unemployed me. The alone me. The can;t do even the most basic tasks me. The current me. Is that what sanity is??? I'm so fucking confused. Isn't this meant to be way better than literally being insane all the time??? Please someone help, I'm desperate and have nobody to ask. I'm just so lost and have no idea what to do, and nobody I know could possibly understand, I'm really hoping somebody on here does.

​

tl;dr How the fuck do you weigh up the benefits of being untreated vs being treated",4.413366519029516,5.946909968408264,4.8853558969936905,83.67979804413437,70.82260024301337,7.6426057304119475,27.12595539528868,8.155646560271837,1.750520495433701,3356,114,634,48,62,1067,354,823,0.19399999999999998,0.653,0.154,-0.9889,6,4,0,0,0,0,89.0,1,4,4,15,44,70,12,5,35,4,62,21,8,15,16,122,126,55,6,8,19,0,3,8,5,3,6,6,2,1,43,28,1,3,23,0,1,7,11,31,3,4,31,11,75,40,96,80,33,100,1,6,2,6,29,41,8,14,57,422,118,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05308616531876829,0.16472048505855022,0.05850260028306351,0.0,0.13233643786979815,0.057440973814474765,0.06441817935035501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05257594198417972,0.0,0.0,0.08725250648455901,0.047193968256539265,0.04956121574665368,0.0,0.0,0.08152945136121882,0.044264727565865386,0.03231702629568192,0.0,0.04511126611516105,0.0,0.05563523898106685,0.14066052525185208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059181493653273236,0.0,0.0,0.05405161386858152,0.16338087412604135,0.0,0.0,0.0555844867625012,0.0,0.0,0.08465521229453858,0.0,0.0,0.03418983887540339,0.0,0.1369834212856852,0.0,0.0,0.11077732365333892,0.0,0.0,0.04639317273262706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046954935886378696,0.05477794534056842,0.0,0.1750772316337483,0.09590894214706386,0.0,0.10131487443108184,0.047645836045498095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041687162350125,0.03787342777449102,0.0,0.05807457626621155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047935901843034,0.19604347088688648,0.05539556917639254,0.0,0.09038774822628833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04688037196938012,0.05643471002699505,0.0,0.0,0.10881593647698536,0.11270344743379306,0.0,0.0,0.0355343689803255,0.0,0.05317766719339655,0.05265516360950233,0.05220840832178232,0.12234277280344875,0.0,0.05984669377098634,0.0,0.16599947248753258,0.0,0.0,0.0586524701819626,0.11041247445777172,0.14567636903452558,0.04321373166400707,0.0,0.05613449090945834,0.057600193986667984,0.0,0.03744556915659257,0.20720087989696348,0.0,0.046812599726537625,0.046915988800250004,0.0,0.0,0.05787137287761832,0.04507086355220324,0.09569495432095372,0.10032682832663106,0.17693729045850162,0.05374818106718141,0.05325999173055894,0.057748116298448525,0.11777387608671082,0.0,0.10685189416684727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05634581287216621,0.07794322340371354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07184772579530446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148186452134796,0.0,0.14701376688614046,0.046290043445251984,0.0,0.11638756688638385,0.10023130181135842,0.059765659696114276,0.0,0.0,0.11431676768953783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060341881717583076,0.13584927688068546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431820120540595,0.05307656448762807,0.0,0.08449106944565625,0.04826222924997009,0.0,0.0,0.21767367570783494,0.0,0.0,0.05305258806085827,0.0,0.04491884584854132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11257138695956947,0.05650619190540888,0.04233728987180725,0.1329669902993688,0.0,0.05542205884494666,0.0,0.11597808312560053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972031443375896,0.08522177522713255,0.04633683644354655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03522034642819324,0.10190827184418252,0.05208628231692358,0.12626230154203832,0.12365226275823818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051787269546190416,0.055189757788324134,0.0637696775458596,0.0,0.058387763591268266,0.0,0.0,0.1262408553880044,0.04252487510341303,0.0,0.14299867214836184,0.0,0.0,0.1183771493440723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578512924911664,0.0,0.0,0.03765983892004261,0.0,0.06441817935035501,0.034139472195237316
bipolarreddit,Knmp4267,2019/07/30,"Cycling Again? I had something really freaky happen to me a couple nights ago, I have a substance abuse problem along with my bipolar disorder and to curb the really intense cravings I sometimes smoke weed. So I was watching a movie that contained my drug of choice thinking it wouldn't be that big of a deal but it brought on a really nasty craving. I smoked weed to calm down and a was well for about half an hour until I got anxious. I do usually get anxious with weed so I just kind of ignored it for a little while. However when I went to try to sleep I was overcome with the most intense feeling of fear I have ever experienced. I was hearing sounds outside my window and I was 100% convinced the sounds were people in my apartment. I thought this entity was in my room and was putting scary images and thoughts into my head. I thought it was coming for me to take my body. I was shaking uncontrollably and hyperventilating, then I started sobbing. This woke up my boyfriend and he urged that he take me to the hospital. On the way I was for sure the uber driver was planning on killing me, then I was sure everyone in the waiting room were planning on killing me as well. My blood pressure was 145/111 and my heart rate was 145 bpm when they took it. After about 5 1/2 hours and two tablets of Ativan later I finally calmed down and they decided not to admit me. The next day I felt extremely blunted and weepy. Today however, I've started feeling restless, motivated and a bit euphoric. I do have a history of rapid cycling, and I am a type II so I usually only experience hypomania, but I haven't had an episode in almost two years. I'm not sure if I'm just overreacting, but my appointment with my psychiatrist isn't for another two weeks. I'm a tad worried, not really sure what to do. Am I just being hypersensitive that I'm feeling good?",4.66543788621351,5.9785643878116375,5.612811634349033,79.55153366716391,69.94182825484765,8.545535904538674,33.275197102066905,8.950670267944501,2.8905243128063063,1468,70,278,27,26,483,186,361,0.166,0.706,0.128,-0.9511,2,0,4,0,1,0,32.0,0,0,2,3,14,21,2,5,21,0,31,7,5,1,5,54,58,27,2,3,10,0,4,0,0,1,2,3,3,0,12,20,0,4,11,0,0,6,6,10,2,4,27,9,46,11,42,28,2,48,0,1,1,0,7,17,1,3,24,192,58,2,0.0,0.11571837570528225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657511804518245,0.0,0.09779850625670113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10241143716469904,0.0,0.22066982062263812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10662610219652692,0.10848503643255217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413071005939629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806569852574326,0.0,0.06298656441077674,0.10068947598335633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193382909987352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11326168637412012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883445924406133,0.0,0.09332415820061103,0.0,0.09553620105515846,0.0,0.10990153208727928,0.1481487667340481,0.0,0.09377478642044608,0.10698845501877616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05102651402827532,0.0,0.0,0.08191770346197537,0.07811251407522311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636582288121983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023361058828274,0.0,0.11007680967793332,0.11573481643058987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192362899721637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21610617145230768,0.1017042294281012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788710496424582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386902122106297,0.09165303277340417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07427948140444697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770938677855606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934532818866622,0.0,0.0981814210619613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502696564200109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773664822555347,0.0,0.0,0.07518814680422238,0.0965942849772976,0.0,0.13825715765784402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3681966299447272,0.0,0.14686552745183387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06258050285930959,0.0,0.2326079575195623,0.0,0.0,0.0925760571501912,0.0,0.10851064728451287,0.06630888106217846,0.0,0.2862168085216717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151308548510516,0.0,0.0,0.07752281604431588,0.07834186626390642,0.0,0.1756271330935907,0.09053746701076637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918468053276454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06289377590258874
bipolarreddit,KkMmHh_ginne,2019/07/30,"How to ask for help? I’ve been close to the edge for awhile. I have a plan. I have a date. I’m looking forward to winking out of this world. It’s clear I need help but I don’t know how to ask for it. I need something that will pull me out of this funk immediately or else it’s gonna happen. But when I mention it to my SO he wants to commit me. Which I talk my way out of. When my psych asks me, I lie so I won’t be committed. I’m terrified of going to a hospital. But I need help. What do others do in this situation?",-1.8688795518207253,-0.06255110924369589,1.4855126050420182,98.5423305322129,93.70588235294115,4.854005602240896,16.33669467787115,6.42735559955562,-0.5308996078431371,394,10,105,5,15,141,67,119,0.049,0.8140000000000001,0.13699999999999998,0.7754,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,4,0,9,0,0,2,3,18,23,10,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,11,4,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,1,16,0,18,18,0,13,0,0,1,0,9,7,0,1,4,68,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5829312213639305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736308558563016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11812516361186065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18379985289169914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4179496567635411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142281687347999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745404972091375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4623513659821112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336305633144971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16001202629449626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16706085182245548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12259450435381067,0.16498056417863272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Reyowen,2019/07/30,"Seeking advice for a family members treatment I'm not bipolar, but I'm pretty sure that my younger sister is. 

Her father, my step-father, had it and she shows all of the symptoms of being bipolar. He's not in the picture anymore. 

My mother doesn't want to help my sister get treated, but it's getting to the point where I think that she needs it. 

I need advice from people who live with bipolar family members and people who have the disorder, treated or not. 

Should I convince my mother that treatment is the way to go? People who have/or not had treatment, what was your experience with it? How do you live with someone, and support someone who is bipolar? Any advice?",4.407674418604652,6.108716007751943,5.174333333333333,80.9415,71.09302325581395,6.4003100775193795,30.72945736434109,6.742157984588678,1.8876164341085264,531,23,91,4,10,172,73,129,0.07400000000000001,0.8370000000000001,0.08900000000000001,0.5967,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,0,6,0,11,5,0,1,2,21,21,7,0,4,7,5,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,12,6,0,0,1,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,3,0,13,5,11,16,1,5,0,0,0,0,16,3,0,1,0,66,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4831342416761663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207250066653494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16344147240444848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18887987985719976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16121012139423005,0.3107254465190777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17220677460417996,0.0,0.09366201916631003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11046477472253267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2910502384793273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24440043751376736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.342763423965261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15579322909699336,0.0,0.0,0.16766510954052044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792761109787878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18701784194426627,0.15532599882233564,0.17129465594496812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10559987053532237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720578126943626,0.130813895123496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Fanistia,2018/12/13,"Need help getting in the Christmas spirit This time of the year is always the worst for me. Growing up I hated the holidays but having kids changed that. It's made it really hard lately cause we've had to ask for help for a couple years. (Total loss house fire 2yrs ago then husband broke his back last year so we've been living off my disability till his or my son's gets approved) And to top it off since my granny died before Christmas (9yrs ago) it's made it even rougher cause she was like a mother to me. Usually I can stay busy with the kids around the holidays to keep my mind off of it but this year we don't even have a vehicle to go to festive things. I need ways to stay busy (ideas) and keep my mind off of things so I can get in the spirit instead of just faking it. Thank you for any advice 
* We don't have internet, tv service, or game system right now either (I do have a phone that helps to an extent)",3.6218082964156295,4.288716303664923,4.411204188481676,89.60503020539672,71.82722513089004,7.342891663310512,23.592831252517115,7.321109707123232,0.7229674587192902,718,17,159,7,13,231,114,191,0.12,0.732,0.14800000000000002,0.4424,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,2,1,0,3,9,8,1,0,12,0,13,0,0,4,1,24,26,10,1,2,6,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,13,6,0,2,1,4,0,2,2,5,0,0,5,2,18,3,26,21,4,30,2,2,0,0,17,10,0,2,15,100,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350581144633005,0.2240723425928079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516572463157542,0.0,0.0,0.08594881468731089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125129544779266,0.11815659960743576,0.0,0.0,0.09718529494861987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754768073891446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259672517939621,0.1337027421627315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398469604739908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117176765591332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16695740850484542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19809901720307252,0.0,0.07182974842791502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11321966680050186,0.12478291393706985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25414753116874617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14583586987549438,0.0,0.14267773151236104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246805979134494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302385671626718,0.14257223179999362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061747252956428224,0.0,0.1116037514242198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23918454593749716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552336041607996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874315981925877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096799268102405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10793546597320504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10455023896974827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694275913826477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636195699281655,0.0,0.0,0.1679343941933947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07369840852958226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139199563624363,0.0,0.0,0.10032165931541448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32556133954435545
bipolarreddit,IWillDestroyYourAss,2019/07/28,"Lowered inhibitions are a bitch. I've been spending all day fighting the urge to buy a bunch of shit. Problem is, I REALLY want to spend my money on this stuff, but I know that a) my wife would be really annoyed I'm spending money we dont have, b) I know I'd probably regret it after coming down, and c) I currently dont care if I'll regret it.
Anyone have any tips for resisting your urges when hypomanic?",1.650714285714287,3.6407957380952425,4.378809523809527,82.37035714285716,79.71428571428572,7.533333333333335,23.595238095238088,8.472884824447931,1.7001238095238098,318,11,64,7,8,113,64,84,0.29,0.691,0.019,-0.9681,2,0,0,0,2,0,11.0,1,1,0,0,1,8,4,0,4,0,9,1,1,0,1,13,15,4,0,6,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,6,1,2,7,0,0,1,0,8,1,7,12,2,7,0,2,0,0,4,2,2,1,4,39,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16597298012581133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170656345165499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24884114945724245,0.0,0.0,0.21024090685070929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15740212357393882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5720861405010649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682641462469258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631440010585541,0.23353782130396306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31270935123340204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505298352488498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793967244625551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14395621679532675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17337720253872474,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BeguiledBF,2019/07/28,"Hypomania lead to me walking out of work I've been in a hypo manic state for weeks and have been putting out feelers for new jobs for a couple weeks with several offers that were less than my current (now former job).  I've been in a holding pattern, just grudgingly pushing through working to keep my insurance, but I had the weirdest breaking point.

I wasn't broken by multiple attempts to get a raise with no results  I wasn't broken by severe understaffing.  I wasn't broken by orders from vendors not coming in and leaving me woefully out of our most popular items.  I was broken by alerting the company head to the fact my deli cooler was leaking and being told ""oh, the drain is clogged, we just need to clean it out"" and then telling my direct manager who said someone else would do it. And then walking in the next day day to about 2mm of standing water on the floor behind the counter.  

No one to clean it, no one to fix it and just throwing towels on the floor to try and stop it.  I grew angry and just walked out. I clocked out and told the customer service employee (who was actually a pantry employee placed in customer service because we were understaffed, which then leaves another department EVEN MORE understaffed!) that I was done until they pay me what I want.  

I got bombed on Schnapps and got picked up by my girlfriend at the nearby Goodwill (where I bought a Japanese rifle scope for no reason) and am now unemployed and scared out of my mind. It was a bad place to work. Paying sub industry pay and not keeping up on pay and just killing me.",8.70767441860465,7.026151046511629,8.240847176079736,74.27362956810634,61.79069767441861,11.257807308970099,39.77242524916943,9.957137785484203,3.876776744186048,1239,55,230,20,14,394,169,301,0.135,0.777,0.08800000000000001,-0.9366,8,0,0,1,0,0,27.0,3,0,1,5,11,4,1,1,17,0,21,2,1,4,1,48,33,19,1,3,8,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,12,26,1,4,1,0,5,10,9,3,0,2,21,1,25,1,50,10,4,55,0,0,0,0,12,25,0,1,16,164,37,14,0.0,0.0,0.12606150640090774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13545698859845756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078602984500234,0.07874721686884414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112775384156408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14293573548376806,0.0,0.16662143552434286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13219647360541767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791370848192557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532248358569912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749146501900312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066348490250766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257643308729314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563833716523686,0.22964307842546555,0.142919052856344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735669358328256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304354517511371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957856833275194,0.0,0.12476330506566255,0.13738489774972407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750720624159675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26993219766155296,0.0,0.1221173010872018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12986205448891705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328190404419029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12288021113249573,0.0,0.12933218842969182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918743277475244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945419492405138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10800065911284004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290942659918166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24687495426923425,0.0,0.0877050610233215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619398947887597,0.0,0.20724156557290796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28213476697222045,0.0,0.0,0.09176610111180268,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,geeblit,2019/07/28,"I need advice I myself haven’t been diagnosed with bipolar but my child’s father and his mother have. I know I will never know what a manic episode feels like, or the dreaded downfall. My SO chooses to deal with his bipolar himself instead of being medicated. 

sometimes he’ll get these random spurts of I’m not really sure what to call it. He’ll tell me to leave and that we’re done. To get away from him he doesn’t want to talk to me. He’ll be illy mean and try to make me think it’s my fault that I did something to provoke it. 

Then he’ll come back like nothing happened, like “let’s talk”  like he didn’t go off on me for absolutely no reason. 

Is this a part of his untreated bipolar? Is it related? I try to tell myself it is. But I’m not sure if this is normal?",1.340756646216768,3.1200634846625803,3.271312883435584,90.96361554192232,79.79754601226993,5.819059304703478,22.52310838445808,6.742157984588678,0.5179189366053176,600,19,132,6,15,202,96,163,0.136,0.777,0.086,-0.8525,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,1,3,0,15,5,0,3,3,28,34,9,0,4,6,2,1,4,0,5,5,0,0,1,12,6,0,0,7,0,0,2,7,2,0,0,4,1,20,6,19,22,1,8,0,0,0,0,20,3,0,3,7,85,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15609707872227574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150081949288169,0.12283098632030474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16311344441176565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13760274671883269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16468598031810294,0.0,0.1621337756357131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634705272388765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076986081626378,0.11411901861722552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16691618270713818,0.0,0.09078450449941712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141258458923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17557897710159673,0.0,0.0,0.16914267837883984,0.0,0.1633460186143621,0.0,0.3121655796678791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10662837313877932,0.0,0.0,0.17400480353170036,0.0,0.16092227487876873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844594434661194,0.12320212451707105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15651228612873652,0.15327581963077158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17298396106025266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10233418961833006,0.1642403762842107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229764436037147,0.15798795613199895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30110804709268857,0.0,0.0,0.25678756651354745,0.2792413896228323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023555973604314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21690733763132145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09421939400382627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,NotSo_Unique,2019/07/28,"Starting to realize that my coping mechanisms are not coping mechanisms at all but idk what to do about it (Tl;dr at the end)

After reading more posts and about other people’s experiences I think I’ve finally started to realize that my coping mechanisms are simply not working. I thought that if I just kept my head down and keep pushing forward and telling myself that it’ll all be fine tomorrow then maybe it would be fine but after many tomorrows it’s still not fine and I’m not quite sure it ever will be. I’m lying to myself that it’ll all work out, I’m lying that I don’t need help, I radiate fake positivity and yet whether I’m up or down I still want to die and think about it every night and even as I’m saying this and though I may be aware of it I’m still telling myself I can do it all by myself but deep down I know it’s not gonna change the fact that I’m not quite right. I never talk about my problems with people because I think they’ll lead me but I’m ever so slowly becoming more resentful of my friends and loved ones and when I’m up Im holding so much more anger than I used to be, before it was a mixed bag of happy and chatty with irritation mixed in but now I’m just so f-ing mad and I just want everyone to stop and shut the f-ck up and die and then when I’m down which is more often than not (bp 2 w rapid cycling) I’m just so so empty and the only solace i find is in drugs because at least they’re something different, but they don’t change anything, nothing ever does. I’m too anxious to go back to a psychologist and wayyy too broke anyway so at this point I’ve sorta just written myself off to suicide or overdose in a year or too but who knows. Thanks for taking some time to read this and maybe some of y'all can relate, i know it’s a bit of a rant and I’m not quite sure what I want to achieve from this post anyway but thank you nonetheless (For anyone interested yes I am medicated but it is a low dosage of quetiapine that I don’t think works as well as it used too)

Tl;dr: I cope by faking positivity and lying to myself and pretending that everything is ok. Too anxious to go back to a psychologist, too stubborn to get help and am basically certain of my hopefully soon and inevitable death by suicide/overdose.",3.3203220992413907,4.286566437632136,4.9036643452306965,84.6841148488994,72.78435517970402,7.848003979604527,25.962504663599052,8.219915518859313,1.4845988558636978,1787,57,381,27,34,604,211,473,0.185,0.685,0.129,-0.9896,1,0,2,0,0,3,26.0,0,2,2,8,41,24,4,0,11,2,27,4,1,3,12,96,69,51,4,8,27,0,0,0,1,7,2,1,0,0,32,26,0,5,11,3,0,5,12,9,1,1,4,1,36,15,58,53,13,56,0,2,0,1,13,22,0,10,29,258,68,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19971927556149385,0.0,0.0618068789532533,0.0,0.07274042304357048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13593848524167662,0.0,0.10776786863648917,0.09762381581411626,0.07521646571445162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650294646793904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18701747267288896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834772576555444,0.09235252614323937,0.0,0.0,0.07735385828719868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250854370428478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829051652432142,0.0,0.0,0.05838315669058638,0.239871287594702,0.07447544277267037,0.08446389821508818,0.07944249190887062,0.08646592819442407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968308972631728,0.08079017330114094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829269661957091,0.0,0.04618202157141769,0.0,0.10047227002545754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09409665915858408,0.0,0.0,0.09071736242464246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849676926691527,0.0,0.0,0.08779481600477428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548028512011683,0.0,0.0,0.07856831673890563,0.0,0.0,0.1457364764126006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977869909872662,0.0,0.0,0.08961726341560378,0.1776065576047848,0.0,0.0,0.08904727929001563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497948623136683,0.065542754071481,0.06817461410646722,0.0,0.0,0.08295143058923693,0.0,0.08481606868502035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05989780901014893,0.06722733617728649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256202173881603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356054845549063,0.0,0.16931332000131802,0.0,0.0,0.08458076280927329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820525073372996,0.17683509428519956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07548767411782388,0.0,0.07029415971035209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804973225690845,0.0,0.0,0.12513092769416567,0.0,0.21177379308904076,0.07390102981869122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668828060350937,0.0,0.16661989389681045,0.0,0.06646100645950277,0.07104744874742068,0.15451985146126634,0.16276195057825707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22655626691624006,0.08684628930792634,0.07017466583417922,0.051543034496783935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15268742510606206,0.0,0.0,0.1564105534559841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947648593591956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193054838722042,0.0,0.0,0.06279229617962682,0.0,0.0,0.056922597413410575
bipolarreddit,glassapplepie,2019/06/25,"Feelings about Depakote and side effects? Just diagnosed with bipolar after 20+ years of just thinking i had depression. Turns out my antidepressants were making my mania/hypomania worse (super fun!!). New psychiatrist started me on Depakote, seems to be helping but I'm freaked out by the 3 pages of side effects and warnings. Liver damage?!? pancreatitis?!? internal bleeding??? Is this really worth it?",4.920454545454547,8.491909227272732,5.39915151515152,68.1087272727273,85.51515151515152,7.488484848484847,35.38787878787879,8.238735603445708,4.276398787878788,323,19,41,8,10,103,57,66,0.22,0.722,0.059000000000000004,-0.9192,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,3,3,5,0,0,1,0,4,4,1,3,0,14,11,3,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,4,2,10,8,1,9,0,2,0,0,1,5,0,1,4,26,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.292979508261525,0.3452554738454081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719952333140161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280022323692821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270595953807249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32852887048406193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21791535408788668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30966909850583896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.240767162085614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21796094076539524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3699966515340492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3466523357863395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21905203598051468
bipolarreddit,SemiconsciousCub,2019/06/01,"The up isn't me, the low isn't me, and there's never time to stop in the middle. So just wondering who the **** am I? In other words, I feel like I'm losing my sense of self/identity amidst these extreme personas I inhabit, because I know I'm in there, but there's like this filter over me, distorting my core self in one way or another. I don't even know what ""core self"" means. Or if it matters. I am just sick of rising up into hypomania and finding myself without the sensitivity and generosity I not only happen to possess, but deeply value as personal strengths. Or on the flip side, landing in depression suddenly to find myself lacking the functions required for doing good work and being a good friend--these too I consider essential to my identity. 

Does anyone else have similar feels? How do you reconcile this?",5.1463636363636365,6.394631464968157,6.4362362478286075,74.3392646207296,68.74522292993629,9.785524030110016,32.10712217718587,10.018931242160765,3.4012726114649685,648,28,115,16,11,219,103,157,0.08199999999999999,0.748,0.17,0.9158,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,4,9,8,0,0,8,0,9,1,0,1,1,31,18,13,0,2,10,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,3,7,5,0,2,9,0,0,1,6,3,0,1,0,2,17,5,19,17,1,20,0,3,0,0,5,14,0,5,6,83,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17521798638934138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683958290284292,0.17121278497072906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186206644845466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14392221852008216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14622955715071234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13958986464744644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11036738615193216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16898066148254984,0.1193756375137593,0.0,0.0,0.3054511184197836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910035781577114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28030961087213596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14776519104764693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836666015839108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632723692082311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869411617018316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18201991748391866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12887713490251598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323068143973275,0.12708640286729614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145904497467706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5229624438202166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13970233809471375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743683476892484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326354956299599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610775790157937,0.18121185673581391,0.12165014216146405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PatronSaintMango,2019/06/01,"Is a low dose of Lamictal Effective? I've been on Lamictal 200mg a day (100mg x2) with very bad memory problems. 

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I'm currently on Wellbutrin 300mg XL and Buspar 10mg x2 a day, which works really well for me. 

​

There's still a bit of the bipolar that isn't being treated by this medication combination that I would like to target.

​

Obviously 200mg a day is too much for me. I was thinking of either going down to 100mg (50mg x2) or 50mg (25mg x2). Has anyone done this low of an amount, effectively? 

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If so I'd like to hear your tales.",2.782,4.469013200000003,4.823333333333334,81.855,75.33333333333334,8.133333333333335,27.0,8.841846274778883,2.1279000000000003,464,18,94,10,10,160,77,120,0.096,0.785,0.12,0.4208,1,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,0,3,5,8,0,0,7,0,9,3,0,2,1,11,13,4,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,1,3,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,4,1,0,3,1,5,4,14,8,4,11,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,2,7,50,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49590554643216705,0.5561419020172168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06400532019369515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764301941750505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09993551030116106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771028198584836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367489513855336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052023010403345366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031696922317617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894414376559861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09221464859349357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729077560130581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758926024931672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058641423891524165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310216200772329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05865369135056015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552822685991173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823034266791833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664056912226092,0.0,0.0,0.06502578824137191,0.0,0.5561419020172168,0.0
bipolarreddit,cailcancer,2019/09/01,"Just started ECT I wish I started it sooner. I’ve exhausted all my options medication wise. BPD 1 with possible Borderline personality. On and off meds for 13 years. Have had 4 ECT sessions in an inpatient setting, now going to continue sessions outpatient for as long as I am on my mother’s insurance when I turn 26 in January. Has anyone had good results from ECT? I already feel somewhat out of my depression ie; showering everyday, taking care of my self.",4.2186176470588235,6.801632200000004,6.323161764705883,68.65297794117647,74.05882352941177,10.367647058823527,36.507352941176464,10.411451182825502,4.986558823529412,367,22,58,13,8,128,67,85,0.07,0.795,0.135,0.6908,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,1,1,10,13,4,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,1,9,3,15,11,2,16,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,2,8,37,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26010780524988786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16481135201136446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2968638814850934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24031832064807016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20301352358039465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11918020670217618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13395734376970134,0.1976992933466391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20859269193021107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26181660538561663,0.2374493380230543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20580968276981265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657234806256704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458931162305612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33366831849428313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17722183219947432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563808110218573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27105065629742503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15178715376970164
bipolarreddit,Anonymous5Numbers,2019/09/01,"I know that it’s awful to think this But I wish my bipolar never left. As most people on this sub, I’m depressed, and the only thing that can “cure” my depression is a manic episode. Whenever I’m depressed I think “well it’s bad now, but in a month or two I’ll feel extremely good”. So to me it’s sort of like, I can either tell people about it, make a fuss, see a therapist, and change the way people act and look at me. Or I can wait for a manic episode.",2.1977922077922045,2.7757332525252525,4.10955266955267,90.78909090909092,75.06060606060606,7.273304473304473,23.233766233766232,7.447530270364453,0.7090796536796535,348,9,83,4,7,119,64,99,0.114,0.7759999999999999,0.11,0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,7,1,4,1,0,1,1,18,15,9,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,3,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,4,1,1,0,3,9,3,9,15,2,9,0,3,2,0,1,4,0,4,4,52,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067077518710604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20356512441242036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4972182976389832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09729824634933973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614009161370286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10575433952187957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090754496341312,0.0,0.0,0.09401143930841653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16159249690001726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12844832976853682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15359556354097534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14841366000732584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14635147034396645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40021960804387396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15334156980884378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16819205359447278,0.0,0.0,0.22342573196431686,0.12784175288452598,0.2466023842696467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18797587154306825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527417518104969,0.0,0.0,0.17301742469491496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212846768715624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mommy1232,2019/09/01,"Quiting olonzpain 2.5 cold Turkey. Hello I'm a female 33 years old .i 've been diagnosed  with bipolar 2 psychosis and insomnia and also anxiety I throughout the year I had gotten prescribed a multiple medication for all this diagnosis but I usually never took it continuously cuz I didint tolerate it . I was able to go tru my days normally working taking care of daily activites.  But tru out the years I was an abusive  relationship and I think that what made my illness worse. And over the years I developed PTSD and couldint sleep due to fear and anxiety  and weed helped me go to bed and stay a sleep. I  finally went to see a doctor couple of months ago and she prescribed me clonazepam 0.5 and depakote 1000 mg and abilify.  I couldint tolerate abilify cuz it made me sleepy and gave me mood swing and I was agitated throughout the day angry at the smallest things couldn't be around people and become very isolated. Let's not forget to mention that I have been eating disorder and Depakote made me gain 30 pounds and that made me depressed more than I was before . I talked to my doctor about and she switch me to motrigin  I'm sorry if I'm spelling meds wrong . I cant spell 🙄🙄
 Anywho that gave me insomnia even more with me taking kolonpan  and weed.. I still was up at night or waking up every 2 hours. So I went back  she put me back in Depakote olonzpain. 2.5 two pills at bed time . I decided to stop smoking pot and see of I can sleep . I could not and I will be up until 3 am waking up at 3 PM and still tired all day couldint work or do nothing and my mood was shit. I forgot to mention I had taking seraquie in the past and it did make sleep . 50. Mg now I'm scared to stop taking olonzpain cold Turkey and go back to seroquel and I'm overseas in the moment and dont wonna overdose if I either temper  off olonzpain  and take 2.5 with a seroquel.  Any thought?",2.372731842354483,4.704452388140165,3.8100284111604883,85.60581554600425,79.02695417789758,6.49059517738763,25.92999198659576,7.63319966405982,1.5605485685146068,1480,59,284,23,37,487,193,371,0.17800000000000002,0.794,0.027999999999999997,-0.9957,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,4,11,9,2,2,13,0,23,18,7,7,3,61,53,38,0,5,9,0,0,0,0,1,10,0,2,0,11,32,1,3,3,0,0,7,6,6,0,1,23,4,42,1,36,24,5,52,0,1,2,0,11,15,1,4,29,178,53,4,0.0867211944929453,0.10275043471947523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687310646053529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935090790450375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05897338605167544,0.0,0.1326829528415113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07720024905964122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000497367556037,0.0,0.0,0.0957767459792371,0.0737933491957128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841803745019601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069239817234797,0.09595535224296288,0.0,0.16778398854758844,0.0,0.07469283774296269,0.08802018694353628,0.0,0.0,0.09939000206086067,0.17752563451035794,0.0,0.0,0.10163659407997694,0.0,0.0,0.08873743193622241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057278531075526024,0.0,0.07306634661475543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758545373177782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499882966852312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14785695996315645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058127388664296266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08540290792119537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867829690972504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3282307642399447,0.05788707072515231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632769718780296,0.0873624799192573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069220030075813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06688473138501788,0.0,0.0,0.08138196637680346,0.08496835795007013,0.08321132499953038,0.0,0.09099930554523906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278519285120943,0.060121557044704926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137243560218352,0.08717875302005182,0.0,0.09223866506607517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310610838438092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682304432213618,0.0,0.1382111283599532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901805992995718,0.0,0.0,0.3471352940098911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707727726608613,0.0,0.09243325470739586,0.1385113158887996,0.1450056034282845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32601772836438353,0.06970321119296616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05761370820616705,0.055567439782719864,0.0,0.06884694157597322,0.05056782590220881,0.09967325586657444,0.0,0.0,0.0963504379682232,0.0,0.0,0.08471400593720378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551114385590556,0.07155406763488667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16078283223485906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262681248706114,0.0,0.0883763059872278,0.0,0.0948160124568524,0.0,0.22338242394963928
bipolarreddit,jeorgettec,2019/09/01,"Does BPD go hand in hand with anxiety and paranoia? been feeling like anywhere I go, I don’t belong there. always feel like the odd one out doesn’t matter where I go or who i’m with. recently diagnosed with BPD but i’m wondering if my anxiety and paranoia in public is bc of that?",2.397931034482756,4.154205000000005,4.3960689655172445,84.20582758620691,76.58620689655173,8.088275862068969,27.11724137931035,8.841846274778883,2.2081406896551727,222,9,45,5,5,76,40,58,0.152,0.6729999999999999,0.174,-0.1053,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,4,3,2,0,0,13,12,5,0,1,3,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,1,4,4,2,7,11,0,8,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,3,3,26,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18284099170018966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3362004614522265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5535087934172248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22303111917381013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19229564843427666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222139388629177,0.3139640996013464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3746493208356183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147073869336715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14890127368482126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21696639469573065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382982768598423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,karmahawk,2019/09/01,"Going back to work So I diagnosed in my early 30s about two months ago, I've got a career, expenses, but also quite a bit of savings. Would it be rushing it to go back to work in a couple of weeks or should I put things on hold a bit longer? Having talked to some other relatives with the disorder they gave me a timeline of about 1 year to get back to feeling normal, so I feel like I'm just going to have to pick a time and tough it out for a bit.  


You know, in the articles I've read there's a lot of talk about not rushing it and not a lot of guidance on what rushing it is exactly. I'm reasonably confident that in a couple of weeks I'll be fairly ready to ease my way back into things, but I know it's going to be a struggle for a little while.",5.534756097560977,3.6222145487804913,6.939146341463418,81.82506097560977,68.14634146341464,10.151219512195123,30.256097560975608,8.841846274778883,2.090039024390244,582,16,134,8,8,202,93,164,0.053,0.8440000000000001,0.10400000000000001,0.8388,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,1,3,12,4,0,1,14,0,8,1,0,2,1,26,21,9,0,3,6,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,11,5,0,1,5,1,1,8,2,2,0,1,2,2,9,2,30,14,6,30,0,0,0,0,5,9,0,4,13,93,20,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138841121607048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10274030721391272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39515313321511375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4207797548299301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28430723305991473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13039801959128594,0.0,0.0,0.14724189854565845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992024458578852,0.0917815795446726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712216371143888,0.0,0.2920580748800525,0.0,0.10275208991866172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141211482963016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276572110538546,0.1287643181152461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184473543242268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254641749085827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587686971989867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12915147239513328,0.0,0.13664750862294536,0.12850838643110665,0.0,0.0,0.1320922782462562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13430852186643294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065244579529583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17070432845623704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491400077251466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255000584461609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197637931948314,0.20610757653998074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18706065043005493,0.0,0.0,0.09126397330762596,0.0,0.0,0.0827327988783403
bipolarreddit,throwaway305B,2019/09/01,"Worried about my dad; he was hospitalized after a severe episode this week. I just had the toughest week in my adult life. My father, a bipolar sufferer for most of his life had a severe depressive episode that culminated in a suicide attempt. Fortunately it was at a time when other family members were present, he told us what he wanted to do (he had a plan) and we were able to intervene and get him to a hospital. He's currently under observation at a psych ward at the hospital and will be evaluated on Tuesday (after the long weekend).

All my life I've had to deal with his manic/depressive episodes but not like this. He stopped taking medication years ago (long story) and we have had so much trouble trying to convince him he needs it. He lives with me and my mom because of his advanced age (mid 70s) and other health issues outside the bipolar disorder. Believe me when I say we've been through the wringer. In a way, him being in psychiatric care now is a blessing because it means we can get him the help he needs.

However, that hasn't stopped me from worrying. I know he's getting treatment but who's to say it will go well? What if he relapses, and we're not around to help? 

I guess what I'm looking for are some words of encouragement. It's a lot to deal with on my plate as my mother is fighting cancer, so you can imagine my stress levels lately. If anyone has any good resources I can turn to (I'm in the US) I'd appreciate it.",4.853973132131028,5.6502168706293725,5.917589252852409,79.44678873757822,69.1048951048951,8.958115568641885,32.884799411115196,9.134995656068208,2.8371846153846163,1139,51,222,21,19,379,159,286,0.14300000000000002,0.747,0.111,-0.7043,2,0,0,0,2,1,34.0,5,1,0,3,9,12,1,1,18,0,24,8,0,0,1,35,41,16,1,5,7,4,0,1,0,2,8,2,0,1,16,14,0,2,3,1,0,2,3,5,1,0,11,3,29,7,35,26,5,37,1,2,1,0,39,14,0,6,21,147,45,1,0.11585317660836493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026968508826355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878413286839399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810072348050963,0.0,0.0,0.10313388948123807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14124604230030188,0.0,0.0,0.1305268571570712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118120034761697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388790759746208,0.19956834250292413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277777744169972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092160642376918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18158550934303105,0.0,0.06584203010403643,0.0971721479223622,0.0,0.0,0.12762533543673565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12314650919591577,0.0,0.0,0.15530788440086835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092061677889535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06366987604164033,0.0,0.1306874294234156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24549157447189016,0.056600010120858336,0.0,0.10230047747377544,0.2050528312230892,0.09728748998290172,0.0,0.0,0.09849422780363064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619807284903686,0.0,0.11670988706058248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13568584023759486,0.0,0.0,0.08516541504449783,0.17180732496966414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842621920899859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617622265435888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937168864128848,0.13270942237785727,0.0,0.0,0.12672457147809518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710717070376481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06755491894690438,0.0,0.0,0.1107026750281047,0.0,0.07865670211483917,0.12601498807276654,0.0,0.0,0.2787142136689293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06833320521591686,0.09195885907022576,0.18586086023868767,0.0,0.1041659191780964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353090489856275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07460564734018825
bipolarreddit,anonventing,2019/01/27,"Anyone else suffer from migraines with prodrome mood swings? If you do, is there a way to tell if it's your mood disorder or an on coming migraine *before* the migraine hits? I always seem to think my sudden mood swings are cause by my bp, and then the migraine hits and I'm like ""okay, that makes more sense.""",1.0680737704918035,3.6455189836065567,1.6985040983606583,96.46611680327871,88.67213114754101,3.705737704918033,17.46106557377049,5.148860815047168,-0.6338704918032785,242,6,49,1,8,74,49,61,0.10400000000000001,0.856,0.04,-0.6199,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,0,4,1,3,4,0,2,0,11,10,6,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,6,8,1,5,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,4,3,28,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26206173883633943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22021877364802148,0.3227011651562388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679973187175975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3235380720176007,0.0,0.27129957947014105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3609573809829822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630984127349705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15386755080913925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102300534105321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28671658209076656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27527819531877035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20180578645745573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499908461168992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,auralov,2019/01/27,"Has anyone here experienced fatigue with Lamictal/Lamotrigine? I've been on lamotrigine for five years now. I cut my dose in half a little over a year ago because it was killing my immune system - my body could barely fight a cold - and I noticed a spike in my energy then.

It's getting to the point where I'm really worried I've got chronic fatigue or something. I work from home and don't have any kids, so it's not like I have a super hectic lifestyle or anything. I'm wondering if the lamotrigine might be contributing. Thoughts? Experiences?",3.561057692307692,6.060946836538466,5.031384615384617,77.51361538461539,75.82692307692308,8.006153846153849,29.63076923076923,8.841846274778883,2.7976300000000007,437,20,77,10,10,146,77,104,0.20800000000000002,0.75,0.042,-0.9438,0,0,1,0,1,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,4,7,3,0,7,0,9,6,1,0,0,11,15,7,1,2,4,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,1,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,4,2,8,2,8,8,0,13,0,2,0,0,2,7,0,5,6,48,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20154262570501486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15461390359802826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589767423577574,0.0,0.18709948939402465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13859771741286078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525478403726811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815299941859427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224035871425564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878722027806282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18184209900729587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280625458206321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515422803283133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110775506419838,0.2278763760606192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.241195069637594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588530552513502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21493050624880647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14565386922965826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750343155282632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18049996957134512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24656430590321265,0.16552218715355466,0.2308970682991612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928272469532227
bipolarreddit,Nomadofthefence,2019/01/27,"Concert Depression Has anyone had the experience of being at a concert and suddenly being overwhelmed by depression and super high anxiety? I recently was at a metal concert and I shutdown completely towards the end of the headliners set. 
I’ve been told it has to do with sensory overload? I think it’s happened before, is there anyway to combat it?",5.052380952380954,7.887354793650798,6.860555555555559,64.57750000000001,72.49206349206351,9.914285714285716,37.484126984127,10.125756701596842,5.1723460317460335,284,17,38,9,6,98,45,63,0.212,0.7140000000000001,0.07400000000000001,-0.857,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,1,5,0,9,0,0,0,0,5,12,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,3,3,1,9,6,0,8,0,3,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,34,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22267068788987385,0.0,0.0,0.2035255939843395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24768239589503965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051853792085317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.501402936985851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578050234668022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847260643671623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573956319511133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3075354888711161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874002977104734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18650836110765648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27813352406065417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wallewaltz,2019/01/27,Birth control effecting bipolar? Everything was going right and i wasn’t manic or depressed. I quit my medicine a couple months ago and i started taking birth control a month ago. Since the first day of birth control i’m in this weird mood. I’m super depressed then i feel super manic. Is it just my bipolar coming back or is it possible for birth control to mess up with my bipolar? ,1.8101351351351345,4.594350824324327,2.923027027027029,87.28616216216219,88.05405405405406,4.581621621621622,26.318918918918918,6.2581,1.2584962162162159,307,14,53,3,10,98,48,74,0.145,0.755,0.1,-0.3685,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,9,2,7,0,0,3,0,4,3,0,5,0,13,11,5,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,4,0,4,2,0,0,2,1,4,0,1,2,1,7,2,6,9,0,18,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,2,13,31,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847961851592485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352261298593535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837754900403607,0.0,0.0,0.7206878291594645,0.0,0.1777456351294788,0.0,0.1035998198184074,0.0,0.2767188191989501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443733048113917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812246531385702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13664070979446158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09129568645780443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564433962652525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18109800395403705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17086092356945284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13718609176330065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13288346465043754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370215819794027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078164862522722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SnapeProbDiedAVirgin,2019/05/04,"Craving mania Hello All,

I was first diagnosed with Bi-Polar (officially, post puberty I had always known/heavily suspected) in late 2014, following a self admitted stay  in a psych ward. At the time I was self harming myself and was worried I would physically assault or kill someone due to instigating confrontation. I was looking for trouble, almost craving it. 

I’ve been on medication for four years now, and I can honestly say it’s helped me tremendously in terms of accomplishing goals and adding stability to my life. When I work (I am independently wealthy through inheritance but prefer not to touch 90%+ of it/invest so I consult instead of a standard 9-5) I can perform well, and I’ve lashed out at loved ones far less. I get in less verbal fights, indulge in drugs less, and sleep more. On paper I am doing well fiscally, emotionally and physically. Still, remnants of mania are still there, and I’m beginning to want to be it again. 

While it made me irritable, it also made me much more verbally quick and funny. While it made me reckless, it also allowed for me to be socially confident beyond belief. I used to be able to strike a conversation with anyone and be the life of the party. Now I am reserved. It allowed me to obey my instincts to dominate social situation and intimidate others. Now I feel weak. I was significantly funnier when off meds. Now I feel bland. I felt significantly sexier and got with more women. Now I have ED. I felt smarter, albeit less controlled. Now I feel foggy and sluggish. And most of all, I didn’t feel like a pretender. Now I do

Being manic is what made me, me. Without it, I feel almost as an empty husk, a has been. I can rationalize it by trying to remember the bad times on it, and on a literal level, I know it’s true. While I laughed the loudest when manic, I also felt the worst when depressed. It’s not healthy for me to be off meds. I logically know that.

Still, as a hedonistic nihilist, I’m bored. What’s the point of being stable if you’re not having fun? I know that sounds immature, but like I said I don’t really have anyone to be responsible for besides myself.  Sometimes I just feel like saying fuck it and flying down to South America to bang prostitutes and do copious amounts of cocaine. Sometimes I feel like fucking taken women like I used to because it gives me an ego boost and I think it’s funny. And sometimes I just want to admit to myself that no matter how these pills make me act, at heart I am not an altruistic or even moral person. That’s not to say I consider myself exceptionally malevolent, I can feel large amounts of situational empathy depending on the situation, but I do consider myself an imposter in my current medicated state.  And I’m debating whether or not I want to remain in it. Hell, look at how much I’ve mentally meandered on this very rant; my symptoms are exasperating as I type this. What I planned on being a benign question turned into a cry for help. I know I’m considering something really dumb. 

Talk some sense into me. Please",3.6125187699941246,5.941472754325262,5.424107201149051,75.59862668929952,74.91695501730105,8.44530913364236,28.89873996213357,9.15654153927966,2.841575204021676,2404,104,427,59,53,821,286,578,0.142,0.715,0.14300000000000002,-0.5798,3,0,3,0,1,0,78.0,0,0,0,7,30,28,8,0,22,0,39,14,2,15,3,95,84,43,1,6,18,0,12,5,0,1,9,5,0,5,28,25,0,1,24,1,1,2,10,15,2,3,19,19,66,13,70,55,17,62,3,1,2,3,23,29,4,10,33,308,94,7,0.0750519912787303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15030745605593931,0.0,0.0,0.1800571509301891,0.0624492690335707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495619469560873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06266527779396977,0.045750997276116215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417719001944801,0.0,0.0,0.082441088249676,0.0,0.0,0.06464217011361029,0.07617619131590601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703648245309042,0.0,0.0,0.08442338846671578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04957113240741365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035883348043639,0.1608514726968656,0.2161850440545022,0.0,0.0,0.06383918544136047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13876871313102127,0.03921156778643151,0.0719967088461041,0.0,0.0,0.06002593355548341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893697102654438,0.10061153545210964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303390847229669,0.0,0.1649864465106088,0.0,0.08466191519704673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602288198247964,0.18333305958138024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126049540694236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773735235443074,0.2840640353166641,0.050097786966815834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16673168610073247,0.15121397068675607,0.0756347547922205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034369836532544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050857171651268684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655325038943326,0.0,0.08238454873405583,0.07094839070582683,0.0,0.07187906135843987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407540668728529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616045485845112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501927560748307,0.0,0.0713916304391408,0.17905306749360428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15659119026961904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530847482573769,0.07510619292925341,0.153012107177074,0.0635913086575509,0.057778689594907826,0.2226850153473363,0.0,0.0,0.07999543671793491,0.17980985155141024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800775583281316,0.0,0.060323947670941735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0480902855448252,0.0,0.0,0.08752683933350723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05095537553616255,0.08163501478943228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296416465966811,0.0,0.061925752885334875,0.13280282695871418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13496150708276644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234744135614159,0.0,0.05463874351581767,0.07621894025390281,0.0,0.05331478125758317,0.0,0.0,0.048331021707311135
bipolarreddit,bellamakenzie,2019/05/04,"Rapid Cycling for the first time... I've been diagnosed with Bi Polar type 2 for a few years now, I thought I was prepared for all it had to throw at me, that was until these last few months. My doctor told me it sounds like I'm rapid cycling because I keep having these moments that last for anywhere from 15 minutes to entire days of CRIPPLING sadness. The scary thing to me is that when they happen it is really hard for me to actually realize it. My boyfriend has been helping me cope but I'm worried I am wearing him out. After they are over it's like I'm me again, at least for a little bit. When they first started to happen I wouldn't even remember them. Now, it's like it wasn't me when they happen and I remember, but in the moment I feel I have no control over myself and it's terrifying me. The worst part is I'm super suicidal when they happen, it's like everything is moving so fast and I'm so miserable the only valid option would be to die. Now, I know I don't want to die, I struggle with this disorder along with PTSD, Depression and Anxiety disorder but I have a son that I need to live for. I'm almost scared that one of these times I'm going to lose absolute control and do something stupid to myself. I almost wish I could go to a mental hospital or something but right now that isn't an option because ... kids. So I'm just trying to be strong I guess. Has anyone else ever dealt with ""episodes"" like this or rapid cycling?",2.8287950450450445,4.386006361486491,4.209189189189189,86.8518018018018,74.91216216216216,7.095495495495496,25.171171171171174,7.793537801064563,1.3130792792792791,1137,38,234,16,24,376,150,296,0.223,0.685,0.092,-0.9934,0,0,2,0,0,1,30.0,0,0,6,7,15,15,1,3,10,0,25,4,1,2,2,40,49,19,3,6,7,1,2,5,0,2,2,1,0,1,21,11,0,3,6,0,0,4,5,8,0,3,8,3,35,7,35,36,7,37,0,4,0,1,11,8,0,7,30,162,56,2,0.0,0.0,0.10290092717734986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111796026064245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806665614035096,0.0,0.0,0.07373089821522978,0.10804277204857853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12855885765270464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151206636542656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365352458658698,0.08419073963797255,0.0,0.0,0.06800450308974111,0.0,0.09082122839687096,0.10702634607944543,0.21887439129942302,0.0,0.24170248045999215,0.1079293322182268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08808732320413093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964665837103969,0.0953827243284552,0.0,0.0,0.09476884101084096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0533171021436817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17938609522081164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198557642799429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11616160753309054,0.0,0.3729852500397088,0.0,0.09445967717339897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07067880939482886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09372601662671833,0.0,0.0,0.05795083810843948,0.1719065339368049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25758005412989604,0.1056854583871846,0.09311151170801127,0.0,0.0,0.11796806718435472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10626563631222033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841666798467032,0.11207332738604467,0.0,0.07818751263666315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145352320382947,0.08019709075938773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418867666552927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232617397488079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675519604160658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389014797774551,0.0900510446595321,0.0,0.0,0.1055707049935362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16235629326640375,0.0,0.0,0.07463583220545535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023595594281728,0.0,0.1153417531594626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070054210147826,0.0,0.0,0.08371303051592266,0.1229738273327396,0.0,0.0,0.10075899620927868,0.0,0.07159149811159835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062195291699775536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125868823197712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070864076623828,0.0,0.07490642589835762,0.0,0.0,0.0679043224170724
bipolarreddit,plecostomus2000,2019/05/04,"Has anyone lived with bipolar disorder for a long time Has anyone here lived with bipolar disorder for a long time, like 20+ years? Interested to hear stories of how you've coped and also how your condition has changed. Do you cycle faster or slower, developed better coping strategies, long term side effects from meds etc???

For example, I've noticed my mood shifting more slowly over the last five years since diagnosis and medication, just interested to know how this might play out in the long term",8.869666666666667,9.145451077777782,8.081111111111113,69.18500000000002,60.444444444444436,11.2,36.888888888888886,10.793553405168565,4.121488888888889,407,17,66,9,5,127,66,90,0.055,0.8,0.145,0.8299,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,0,2,6,6,0,0,4,0,5,3,0,4,0,13,7,7,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,5,12,6,4,16,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,13,37,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306030715012043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283875091243594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14443898409547745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17276578056464792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3743466361978643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821395697034723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18406805055136552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975373885057078,0.13312364978051786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978753600846973,0.0,0.28842055019755264,0.5781150964431236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18140632189975955,0.16452283836180776,0.0,0.1732515723703862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18593538791053646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350959849562746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19046076198629647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103392123386494
bipolarreddit,Sarahthegalaxyghoul,2019/05/04,"Hallucinations? Hi, I have bipolar and was just recently diagnosed with it although I've had depression for what seems like forever. (Still young by bipolar standards though) and I was wondering about hallucinations. I don't have them (I could only think of a handful of instances before my bipolar was even a thing that I had anything near it) but a lot of people on here talk about having them. Do you guys have something else coupled with the bipolar or can bipolar alone make you hallucinate? Should I be looking out for those also? (Currently medicated, no issues with it yet, just wanted a heads up).",5.5396839959225295,7.864905761467893,5.913149847094799,74.23946992864424,69.36697247706422,8.514169215086646,33.21202854230377,9.150863307647796,3.29199612640163,484,23,79,10,9,155,77,109,0.079,0.904,0.017,-0.7536,1,1,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,2,0,10,2,0,0,5,0,15,9,2,1,0,19,21,7,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,1,7,0,0,1,7,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,2,11,1,15,13,1,9,0,1,1,0,7,4,0,4,6,68,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197561554049924,0.0,0.1696815553680227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17460738445203391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18055092061067332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694097487227705,0.2347749136448588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827517081756069,0.2153598658712503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772505070491463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401439510420556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21009315120049996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21775954434394967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214624723825352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366121602870898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781791115314998,0.0,0.0,0.1803892155519317,0.0,0.0,0.14163287104860955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213750647560658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613736742576059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14710001092617755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095037402553113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931621670640037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16334776819929753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16944850634433242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705435393240206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409640322575643,0.1359574069763336,0.2084673526896955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251502099150833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23010190296310926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hungryhippo29,2019/05/04,"Anyone else get a major headache when manic? I got a pounding headache, I think it's from stress but it's aggravating my mania something chronic.",2.529444444444444,5.513021851851857,3.212870370370372,84.05041666666669,89.74074074074073,4.181481481481482,28.972222222222207,5.985473137389443,1.5513777777777775,118,6,19,1,4,37,22,27,0.198,0.802,0.0,-0.5719,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,10,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991130390672179,0.4383101613974589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35735448210559617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22349688346085714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3421339628537187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3293251911080842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4900194252501338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741035248208136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,JiggaHeisenberg,2019/05/04,"Does the anxiety from Latuda go away? I’ve just started Latuda, and while I feel it’s great and energizing, it gives me anxiety. Anybody who’ve tried that and knows if the anxiety is temporary?",2.00108108108108,4.832723162162164,3.879783783783784,80.42670270270273,87.64864864864866,8.365405405405406,26.318918918918918,8.841846274778883,2.9563340540540546,155,7,28,5,5,52,28,37,0.126,0.69,0.184,0.6553,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,6,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,2,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,16,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6953275945082574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28465599182500634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651364012265261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531938047797845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906422545349661,0.1721882830892875,0.0,0.0,0.3340321875931633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16650772497134336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144480222808626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20570086416259195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MaggotDream,2019/07/18,"Reversing the Effects of Bad Medications? Hey, I'm new to this sub. I have bipolar disorder (obviously), and I've had my fair share of bad experiences with medication. My worst experience so far, however, has been with Abilify. I know there are plenty of horror stories about this medication, since that's how I found this sub originally. I need some help because I'm at a loss.

Abilify caused me to gain a ridiculous amount of weight. Given, I wasn't exactly skinny before I started it, but I think my current 240lbs is a far cry from my previous 175lbs before I started this awful medication. I was only on it for a few months, and yet it's made me so much heavier than I'm okay with being. The doctor eventually took me off of Abilify and put me on Vraylar, along with another ADD medication that helps with BED (Vivanse) which has helped a little bit. However, I'm afraid I've just gotten into a habit of eating my heart out at this point, and I'm trying to reverse the effects of it.

I'm not really looking for dieting advice, since I got off fine not dieting before I started Abilify (I honestly just wasn't eating a butt ton, and that's how I lost so much weight). I wanna know if anyone else has had this problem, and what they've done to keep themselves from eating so much while on or after being removed from the medication. The medication didn't really help that much in terms of my bipolar or depression, either. If anything, the weight gain I've experienced has only worsened my mood and made me less motivated to do even mundane tasks.",7.3050877926421425,6.8236110535117085,8.352305602006691,68.4651808110368,63.88294314381271,11.622157190635452,35.74435618729097,11.080906280650957,4.051055016722406,1231,51,221,31,16,422,157,299,0.128,0.772,0.1,-0.8634,3,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,7,12,14,1,1,13,2,18,21,3,9,2,46,41,19,0,5,10,0,3,0,0,0,10,0,1,0,16,16,9,1,7,0,0,3,5,9,0,0,16,5,26,4,38,23,13,28,0,3,1,1,6,14,1,5,11,147,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120212131121424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871351952548565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058103851548167974,0.08514342480458814,0.06838233565023084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13876623514125433,0.050655593252435537,0.0,0.21213009450723885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072117813576784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536423936651981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127893340685313,0.0,0.0,0.07157193659555912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952371758884288,0.08505402821208816,0.0,0.08503780911413764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25508911071425056,0.06941747455439386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05488525430687037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16257101283445158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09111235084032364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06646083049148364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847118746362588,0.22279457584744944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386106351753459,0.0,0.0,0.09133665738658164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328573682913082,0.0,0.0,0.06978114842533514,0.0,0.09071096760658208,0.0,0.0,0.15725812646010082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5859854095502885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632780000644108,0.0,0.2443455152957424,0.061615899672069735,0.0,0.08025628695883709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12639910726371434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855419631224987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07951328669771217,0.0,0.08353615115150619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10646904282503523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13747857025541138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17645096233524454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05324565777769076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923246143217492,0.05641789099387407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035718755050018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Graceinspace26,2019/07/18,"BP husband left 2nd time. Same DAY last year My husband is, I guess, a kind of slow cycling kind of bipolar. When he's working up to a mania (or psychosis as his psych has called it) he will be in turn flat, unresponsive, tuned out, emotional disconnect to the point of being a potato. Then we went on vacation. He was loving and excited. Seemed normal. I was really hoping the 1st weirdness was from a brief stint of taking chantix. Horrid response to it every time hes taken it but tried it 3 x. 
Then we return from the expensive vacay my fam paid for. At a private beach. Our own little cottage next to theres. My fam bought him a 300 dollar fishing pole and threw hundreds at him to have fun.  Within one hour of being home he texts me while he's out that he wants a divorce. Totally out of the blue. Really no valid or understandable reasons given. Last year on the same say he did this. Except way worse. He texted me from fb that he left in the middle of the night and wasnt coming back ever. He went from being a sweet adoring husband (15 years of marriage) to only calling me a ""dumb c%#$^"" and hanging up on me. It took me over a week to locate him. I flew half way across the country to drive him back. He was way under Medicated as he is now as well. He got to the point of talking in the third person. He spent the next several months going through periods of disassociating. 
   On top of bipolar he also has a TBI and a huge trauma background. He tried to frown himself. I pulled him out. (I'm 120 lbs he's 190) I called 911 and they went to the wrong f lake. 
   I could see tiny signs of it while we were on vacay. He went fishing in the dark for hours. He started to seem more distant towards the end. I figured maybe just tired. Rationalized it. His sleeping is completely off again. So I should have known. He is now being polite saying hes moving out. Is living with mom and I am supposed to drop his clothing to his moms. I have gone through so much of this with our poor kiddos in the last several years that last time I said I couldn't do it again. I can't. My own health suffered so much. I live in constant fear. He was suicidal last time. Reality becomes so far away. 
He takes carbamazepine, cymbalta generic kind, abilify and 1 mg of clonazepam. Hes taking a third of the carbamazepine, a third of the benzodiazepine, but I think roughly correct amounts of cymbalta and abilify. But I'm not sure. 
Any advice?? What do you all need when you are in a state? Do you not even know? I hope I dont sound offensive. I want him to live for my kids...for me as well tho I believe we cant be together. Does anyone here say hateful vile things they dont mean to their loved ones??? This is so so painful. 
I'll take any advice. I so desperately need it. His support system is MY family. His family besides his mom is mostly in denial bc they are all mentally ill to some degree as well. I'm exhausted and now a single mom. I want to do the right things but I don't know what they even are.",0.9697670040009392,3.337883855024714,2.799435396563897,90.436794892916,85.24382207578253,5.64320075311838,21.35676629795246,7.051509081164278,0.6593603859731703,2328,77,485,33,70,772,300,607,0.133,0.795,0.07200000000000001,-0.9923,0,0,0,0,2,0,86.0,6,3,5,2,27,27,4,1,34,0,47,11,1,1,6,65,93,36,1,11,10,7,1,0,0,2,8,5,1,1,19,22,0,0,10,1,6,15,10,11,3,6,23,9,65,16,81,60,14,101,0,1,2,2,73,39,1,9,41,312,84,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791864226518246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0523422552070851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890197436893912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045765835180175934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06149467798693295,0.10065770049509808,0.0,0.0,0.07228702597307783,0.0,0.07374243356916897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20050263446768274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056381441204129926,0.06862558900249109,0.07073078467720284,0.0,0.0522584100728163,0.0,0.0,0.04221137888256442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057277830378721625,0.0,0.15341943476900285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362513271608415,0.05797139308931789,0.0,0.0,0.08646137684514547,0.05920543688359072,0.05514646422257583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12340538241938,0.07365213921584722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037198103415325326,0.0,0.052348258044294056,0.0,0.07210319029486055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646206876494207,0.0,0.06957283329611612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656540870570246,0.13001798980942972,0.12891484587321744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044757863447293,0.07194184716648605,0.26676218142565783,0.0,0.0,0.14222843347937625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656004929625305,0.17338698705798425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814668061795056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06575572638449137,0.07129684423818286,0.0,0.06593640022354562,0.06596061779397974,0.0,0.0,0.3066282074947104,0.052243475812304666,0.06956553566282409,0.09623008012446203,0.0970642404499642,0.0,0.0,0.13921872545165365,0.0614226371659719,0.06412944849220506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870447112805856,0.04977949443813528,0.06964596111806609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057150505139221576,0.0,0.0,0.12374733534341635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386095819624356,0.06729596130616365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055895986180180914,0.062260214395109925,0.156151110454847,0.0,0.0,0.05215708324278523,0.11917080112672128,0.0,0.1478851481008224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06549966215104254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04632754079950403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07159429482439343,0.07427460017492438,0.06168810600829125,0.0,0.19684821618866816,0.05260815437397688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696732341287458,0.041939250720646616,0.0,0.0,0.15266326735249405,0.07522789756513806,0.0,0.0,0.07272001716822006,0.08887575717070291,0.07119340869054387,0.0,0.06813824963989171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158165519944909,0.1558591895288423,0.05250196180992443,0.0,0.1765486860512997,0.2427000970007031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04765012179507763,0.0,0.06670158044091754,0.0,0.07156191709225528,0.0,0.16859678115893825
bipolarreddit,SASturges,2019/07/18,Abilify HEADACHES? I’ve been on Abilify for about 5 days and am curious will this bad ass headache subside?,4.058499999999999,6.817819850000002,4.240000000000002,82.47500000000002,75.5,10.0,40.0,10.125756701596842,4.974500000000001,87,6,16,3,2,27,19,20,0.14800000000000002,0.634,0.218,0.168,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,8,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7914123472364955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6112826650917077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,4bluewalls4,2019/07/18,"[NSFW] Am I the only one still having orgasms on antidepressants??? So I've been on bipolar and mental illness related subs for a bit and people keep making memes or posting about not getting to experience sexual pleasure?? Is this real? Is it something that happens eventually to everyone on antidepressants?


Idk if this makes a difference but I only go solo so is that different than trying to come with a partner? I am so sorry to anyone who has to go through that because it would just be awful to lose that feeling. Is there any way to fix the side effect?",3.8262857142857136,6.356726914285718,5.5869047619047665,73.7089285714286,75.09523809523809,7.628571428571428,29.54761904761905,8.548686976883017,2.7985047619047623,446,20,71,9,10,152,76,105,0.126,0.8370000000000001,0.038,-0.8615,1,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,7,2,0,0,5,1,11,3,1,3,0,16,20,8,0,2,5,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,9,4,0,1,2,0,0,3,1,1,0,1,1,1,3,1,15,17,1,10,0,1,0,1,2,4,0,2,1,56,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321498125762932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13587876780594535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846064262907065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21215602013530327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673965028231148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.406063133056784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856888846018792,0.0,0.19009022910122644,0.0,0.0,0.09825815658883083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152844298541497,0.0,0.2208823432105496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718437500830537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17272779742112815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21740350378843054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594311115260161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19583707877895706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168179044812434,0.29559064483921554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347226779261212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861126599865455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22118798989458285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14960331155997494,0.0,0.21753446520586325,0.0,0.0,0.1551907195761281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13193606458433582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542486481530506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13804514929554715,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ssmike27,2019/07/18,"Where to get tested These past couple months I’ve noticed something wrong about myself, but I have no idea what it is. A lot of my symptoms line up with early signs of bipolar disorder, so I want to get tested. If anyone can help me figure out the process to getting tested, I would be very grateful.",7.323163841807911,6.313820525423733,7.080000000000003,79.3309604519774,64.08474576271186,8.544632768361582,33.22598870056497,6.42735559955562,2.061232768361582,237,8,44,1,3,75,50,59,0.126,0.722,0.152,0.4022,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,5,2,0,0,0,10,9,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,6,0,9,7,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,3,31,9,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17948808886448564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840296801938471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941963094287152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4023398171272277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720581835916747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897789863640004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21823409668521065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20489261459496647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2922505486949982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24504575618437574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19761742701440085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26680584317382605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118014104668793,0.15140618538207412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18234975503646145,0.28065721260848825,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,caffeinejunkie17,2019/02/19,"Struggling with sudden depressive episode A little context- I was diagnosed with bipolar I in mid 2014, started to improve and stabilize in 2015 and since then have been doing relatively well. I also have OCD which has given me the biggest flare ups in past years. I wouldn't say I've necessarily been ""happy"" the past few years but I've been mostly okay, and my biggest struggles have been with my OCD.

However, over the past few weeks I've start slipping deeper and deeper into depression. My last major depressive episode came in 2015 after the manic period that led me to being properly diagnosed with BP1. It all feels like it came on very suddenly and intensely and I'm having a really difficult time managing it. Right now I'm high functioning but just barely. I can make it into work (normally somewhat late but I make it there), I can force myself to shower most days, make myself eat, I take my meds, etc. Sleep has been a problem. I fall asleep (thanks to seroquel) but I find myself waking up throughout the night, often from a night terror. I know from the past that this high-functioning state can quickly devolve for me and leave me unable to do anything until the depression passes. 

I met with my psychiatrist last week and discussed the depression and have added on 150 mg Wellbutrin in addition to the Lamitcal, Abilify, and Seroquel that I take. I logically know that once the Wellbutrin begins to work I should feel at least a little better. It's just so painful right now- I'm back in the place I've been before where I feel empty and unable to enjoy even the things I love. 

I guess all of this is to say that I'm looking for some support, advice on how to cope, etc. I have people in my life I can talk to who try and support me and I'm grateful for that but this illness can be so isolating. ",4.328078817733992,6.2166126781609234,5.126108374384238,80.44758620689656,71.64367816091955,8.074876847290641,27.65845648604269,8.738905477910976,2.2365628899835803,1444,53,260,27,28,468,183,348,0.135,0.774,0.091,-0.9547,2,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,3,15,21,0,3,17,1,27,11,3,5,2,54,55,24,0,4,7,0,3,1,0,2,6,2,1,0,18,23,1,0,7,0,0,5,1,11,1,0,11,6,34,10,40,40,12,60,0,5,1,1,7,26,0,6,29,181,52,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807211010352803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07207538763753918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416772489774606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06930292507634897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766923521127816,0.0,0.0,0.07971095663364929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20616501087326347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0581251511544356,0.0,0.3881358872392094,0.18295619439099076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222351946091288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201033251968983,0.059528742381601475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13671438568391628,0.06438751355779583,0.0,0.0,0.08237542616780101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992862338438538,0.0,0.0,0.09594300992847624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904505155842803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990640640410007,0.1469328179095138,0.10166839235942593,0.09543261613428886,0.0,0.0,0.06366012355959473,0.044032024058496544,0.18066401383668448,0.0,0.0,0.07568488221770138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134410496774562,0.0,0.1804835663058153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10011197149145774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16915818265538138,0.08830637580995214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598345657829653,0.0,0.0,0.0959026244687698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441497765892617,0.062483457827783126,0.0,0.09416465379230583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624039406427647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0577383516026986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393776425490124,0.0,0.14334692269229102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455487357285365,0.0,0.0901931626940143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275862283047439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18844286218441805,0.0,0.0,0.2045525389783462,0.0,0.0,0.13553018905494044,0.07244153130961442,0.0,0.08297782078527333,0.0,0.0,0.05987708708750575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05255440431880204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06119104559322774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743650994292496,0.0,0.0,0.14459060788306888,0.0,0.08103596182282433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312286215321991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11607904845134538
bipolarreddit,goobledagook,2019/07/20,"Thought I had major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder, a weird reaction to Prozac is making me think it might be bipolar So I've had what seems to me to be pretty severe anxiety and depression since I was about 16 (now 22). There was a brief time when I was around 17 or 18 when I thought I might be bipolar, but for the most part that never really seemed plausible to me. I didn't feel like I had manic episodes, exactly. What it felt like to me is that I was naturally an energetic and upbeat type of person who would often fall into serious depressive episodes.

But recently I had a weird experience that's making me question that. I started taking Prozac on June 6th after a nearly 2 month depressive episode. Started on 20mg, stayed on that for 3 weeks with no noticeable improvements, then went up to 40mg for 1 week, then 60mg for a few days. I started doing 60mg on July 4th, had a great couple of days, and then on July 6th crashed into my worst depressive episode ever and had to go to the hospital because I was suicidal.

For a few days after that I felt awful and depressed, but that weekend I started to feel much better. From July 12th to July 15th I was barely sleeping at all, like 1-3 hours at most, not eating, but I was extremely energetic, happy, excited and nervous. The way I felt at the time was that this was the real me and that the Prozac was finally working and lifting me out of the depression. Then in the evening of July 15th I started to feel intensely suicidal again, and that's how I've felt since. My brother described the episode last weekend as manic, he said I seemed artificially happy and I was giggling at everything, which is how I am when I'm drunk.

I should mention that there were other things happening at the time. During that ""manic"" episode I was setting up a date with a girl and talking to her a lot, so I was very excited about that. Then we had a FaceTime that was awkward and unpleasant and she stopped talking to me so much, which kind of tilted me. Plus I felt that my family had become tired of my neuroticism and I had become a burden to the people around me.

I don't exactly know what my question is, I guess I'm just wondering if this sounds like bipolar to you guys. Is this type of behavior familiar to you or consistent with bipolar disorder? Did any of you have a similar story where you initially thought you had major depressive disorder, which then turned out to be bipolar disorder?",7.763249999999997,6.680224825,8.287500000000001,71.26750000000004,63.25,12.0,38.125,11.20814326018867,4.2955000000000005,1956,87,361,48,24,654,211,480,0.209,0.7090000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.9959,0,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,1,5,0,2,21,28,0,3,25,1,44,12,1,4,5,75,77,38,2,3,9,1,8,4,0,4,9,2,0,3,29,26,2,1,19,3,0,4,5,16,0,0,37,10,51,12,60,32,12,66,0,8,0,0,20,21,0,16,42,267,80,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045563634177327984,0.0,0.10251264052467493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11929190918323294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040843776316716734,0.14799681377185733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0592577936824401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413640049638624,0.0,0.12963217455915638,0.0,0.4616695580755355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3839502865594974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685597378287678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0442541663429861,0.06060711378557461,0.0,0.0,0.06021704633527205,0.06554077898863785,0.06316349010944168,0.0,0.1016346209155784,0.04786621758498021,0.3216619712532162,0.07339737824275579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038078761089676866,0.0,0.0,0.0738699035696089,0.07381021893471956,0.06634247994020792,0.05924961686891603,0.14264967647405993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06598343956020518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06977223659237161,0.036822528019990836,0.05461554456609017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13093510389396876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05696267510768524,0.0,0.0,0.08944866458258993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14215699445651447,0.0,0.0,0.05348032967539569,0.0,0.09850830806578646,0.0,0.051676046381420614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762821818781542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255659940955689,0.0,0.0464507265863271,0.058503531942281285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.068165086617783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15011507109879454,0.0,0.0,0.07626290540636937,0.04292317482227485,0.0,0.06615635781493028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637342125450058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18298821908888946,0.0,0.07569314973357821,0.0,0.11084943658386767,0.0,0.06705035358003036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371216804093536,0.0714151803936975,0.0,0.05601664335908815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465785509311092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0503771396049803,0.1077072838584657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04451312871885768,0.04293215411121233,0.0,0.1595762293916849,0.11720815480386995,0.07700890302599107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728788984324951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055283638601978095,0.0,0.053183041578174536,0.1074898705548408,0.0,0.0,0.062111493339762965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07266077353928242,0.04877822891855349,0.0,0.0,0.047596273954801586,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,biplural,2019/07/20,"Bipolar and MDMA I went to a festival and tried MDMA; my life has been hell for almost a week now. Things have been settling down but my anxiety and paranoia were through the roof and I started rapid cycling and having mixed episodes for two days unrelenting. I have Bipolar II, ADD, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I am on medication and have not stopped taking those meds. None of them are SSRIs or MAO Inhibitors, I tried to do my research and be safe but there's only so much you can do I suppose.  I know everyone is different but I am curious about your experiences. What happened to you? Did it get better?",2.846021220159152,5.6193050344827595,4.1658620689655175,81.08842175066313,80.55172413793103,7.362334217506633,29.612732095490717,8.384062270229773,2.6828005305039797,488,24,87,11,13,160,84,116,0.127,0.755,0.11800000000000001,0.1677,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,1,1,4,4,1,0,3,0,17,4,0,0,0,19,23,13,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,9,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,5,0,15,3,10,17,2,8,1,0,0,0,4,2,1,2,5,68,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209063207760517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3375279254126725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19510920861853975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14227344296841038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304876500942636,0.2528350514058505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21079970662851089,0.0,0.2157962476504608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525819675023445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19508228605668654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212399897946822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15582144353575236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24504495185915945,0.22223862202762013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16217173163808118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16778177473528855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15614696577769116,0.0,0.0,0.18443756130760866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16586921702598004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14656167193827074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29955571942529496,0.0,0.21550125366546316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769578503956265,0.0,0.0,0.20450515550038012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,geedoll88,2019/07/20,"Hey Hey! I don't think people realize how much strength it takes to pull your own self out of a dark place mentally. So if you've done that today or any day. I am proud of you!
~ Do not give up!",-1.1872727272727277,0.6146857272727289,1.2510909090909088,101.76663636363638,89.45454545454545,5.3381818181818215,15.618181818181819,6.742157984588678,-0.6125036363636363,148,3,40,2,5,50,39,44,0.0,0.8340000000000001,0.166,0.8007,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,2,2,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,7,7,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,4,2,5,6,2,6,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,2,2,23,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22747931136570054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157322634741929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3423214352277814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32089394070488764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3371089444019338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459044640227105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23190817605045105,0.0,0.34949335181776403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3489684801613401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515110401710876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21434148151255816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3170778171401569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,grassygreenbean,2019/07/20,"Do you think my doctor will laugh at me if I ask for Electro Shock therapy? So last week I got tased by the police while I was in the middle of a very manic episode. They also gave me 2 shots of haldol. Which always takes me a day per shot to come back from


Super long story but that's the key part. I know this sounds like a big deal (and is) but this isn't the first time I've gone off the rails and had police involvement. I'm not sure about the legal end but I just got out of the hospital and I feel so calm.

My medication did not change except I'm not drinking.

But I had a seizure last year and experienced this same level of calm. Literally the doctors were blown away by how lucid I was for being committed after I woke up from the haldol. Maybe I'm just over the shock of being committed, but I truly feel being tased gave me something I havent from meds.

I know tmi and I know I probably won't find a doctor on here but should I drop this topic or maybe bring up to my doc when I see him?",2.0314073666849914,3.280037214953275,3.7110005497526153,90.8775673446949,76.38317757009347,6.717537108301264,19.597581088510168,7.285733465282438,0.21746322155030207,780,15,179,9,17,261,129,214,0.055999999999999994,0.813,0.13,0.9476,0,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,1,2,10,8,0,0,15,0,16,5,0,1,3,34,36,19,0,2,14,0,2,1,0,3,4,1,0,0,6,7,1,0,7,1,0,3,6,2,0,1,12,5,26,6,26,18,2,29,0,0,1,0,8,12,0,2,14,118,32,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943769103388127,0.1242738174228121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13962507022469625,0.0,0.1403222371785983,0.11484338307883155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579958701056849,0.12865454741950594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632045102266418,0.15397657946070206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.458607951775601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14630926556135124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322825948024569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15103491952360434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13650610869957766,0.1270397460008037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389027773342849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24624181973862586,0.2434855653703595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07296642387194098,0.0,0.0,0.13217287211801826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000907049399059,0.0,0.1658977233659968,0.1504576248506804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16173494898699098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16102799816396465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901515456171965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149793813885471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14076361281594685,0.0,0.1122950106596206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17079838752405774,0.0,0.0,0.0956994926937545,0.0,0.0,0.0870890453904337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12323202219877545,0.0,0.0,0.11980211911995678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617855677835993
bipolarreddit,FranSly,2019/07/20,"I want to help my Bipolar Husband Hi!

I'm married to a wonderful, loving and caring man, he told me he was bipolar II before getting married, so I took this decision fully aware of what was happening.

I'm not bipolar, but been suffering from deep depressive episodes through my whole life.

Problem is that we're having some economical problems. He doesn't have a work and I'm working as an independent attorney. He's also a lawyer. Luckily we don't have any children by now.

I've tried (and I know he tries hard too) to get him a job, or a project he liked, but he will always leave them half finished. And well, I can cope with that for a while, but in the end it feels overwhelming because he may start with a lot of enthusiasm and then he will just leave things and turn all his attention to his telephone and won't do anything else during the day. It's frustrating and sad, and I don't know how I can get him out.

Please take in mind that I have my own mental problems and sometimes I give my full energy to get him up even if I'm completely destroyed inside. I give him words of hope that I don't even believe because I'm feeling absolutely hopeless and empty inside. But also I get angry from time to time, I get frustrated and I go over him because I feel he's not giving his best effort, and yes; I scream in anger and I get the pettiness and the worst of me out because I can't hold it inside for that much time. 

Everytime I post something about this I get lectured of how nasty I am for not being able to support his struggle and that ""marriage is hard, if you can't handle it better leave it"". and I really feel like a piece of sh!t for failing him, so I think people barely sees my angle; I'm struggling too, I'm fighting my own suicidal thoughts while I put a smile and say ""you can do this honey, you can achieve whatever you want"" so my husband can get some hope.  It's frustrating to see him being so concentrated and compromised to see every soccer match in the world (literally) while not being able to spend some hours per day looking for a job. I mean, I know first hand depression and when I'm depressed I can't even get out of the bed, I don't enjoy watching TV or even eating, and he does, so it's hard for me to understand how his depression works. So imagine I get to my house after a horrible lame work day feeling as an idiot and being worried because money is not enough, just to find he spent his day in the couch watching every soccer league around the world and eating peanuts. Surely I'll be angry, and I know Im not perfect, but believe me, I really want to help him. I want to understand what can I do so we won't sink.

I know you'll think ""ah how materialistic b!th¢"" for beeing money the top of my worries, but we need it to help him with his treatment. We don't have any social security or medical care, so I'm sacrificing my own therapy to barely afford his. 

So please, please tell me, how can I get him up? What can I do to help him? How can I understand what he's feeling?",5.483366682177756,5.160584949511404,6.453342950209402,80.04105211726386,67.58306188925081,9.492712889716149,31.712238250349003,9.081645337920577,2.505185258259656,2365,87,486,38,35,791,258,614,0.21899999999999997,0.645,0.135,-0.9971,3,0,1,0,2,1,66.0,4,5,1,12,30,39,7,3,22,2,45,9,1,7,3,105,111,59,1,12,19,2,10,2,1,6,5,2,2,2,22,35,2,2,23,3,4,3,17,24,2,2,7,19,80,15,56,93,15,40,0,10,6,1,63,17,0,13,21,314,102,11,0.1225993567256052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980426612795389,0.05100624301270072,0.0,0.0,0.08337176668449085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05044441222149223,0.054569710029411946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18683857483460148,0.0,0.052161511352096936,0.13812749198036628,0.0643302305521465,0.05421458404637528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12499821500055938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427154648821228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15813288539257858,0.0,0.21118929260233316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05364376162653136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254497488932542,0.05120801546919625,0.0,0.05429332032095598,0.06333895418568887,0.0,0.1619514377103821,0.0,0.10329524570821996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859697553769006,0.043792502470641065,0.0,0.0,0.056026795486292885,0.05214147510044469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3843186227237136,0.17641271151844606,0.03483801986522295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05420710313092967,0.0,0.16473741398752792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643515290592932,0.0,0.0,0.12176882410491716,0.060367835307471474,0.07073159857831368,0.0,0.0,0.0662141717094469,0.0,0.1216609441590837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16844350051555945,0.0,0.0,0.1947225252341451,0.0,0.0,0.04329777567450928,0.059895852963421925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051476291106252334,0.0,0.0,0.052114794446812183,0.05532535302166176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06677332035359086,0.0,0.06175297689727882,0.061775657951483424,0.0,0.06189520057243285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04506231682805117,0.045452934780613935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042497478627454885,0.0,0.0,0.2018659166832846,0.0,0.0,0.05870814707538907,0.0,0.0,0.1759665404724245,0.0,0.06162310783938885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785402872543687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04874796462303278,0.0,0.0,0.14654372147712472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624873024403517,0.0,0.04719148723500703,0.06062694932952889,0.0,0.043388227852904714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281674668238005,0.0,0.06705189878850798,0.06956214857205446,0.05777422140504671,0.0,0.04608972928972745,0.0,0.053578620781783035,0.0,0.07010152452780738,0.0,0.04072478248225354,0.07855671744471247,0.0,0.04866509737954703,0.10723300623691588,0.0,0.0,0.05857446961566271,0.06810619816875002,0.08323691558355219,0.0666764474129685,0.0,0.19144538107483836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14462455407313002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055115772643578614,0.0,0.0,0.06843890175435012,0.0,0.0,0.0664768863152493,0.17850758369506395,0.12450559786924692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,celsiuspopular,2019/07/20,"Disturbing thoughts Last night I was at home with my girlfriend of almost two years. I left the room for a bit, but when I came back I could swear my girlfriend was swapped for someone else. The thought came out of nowhere. I was convinced of that for some time. I really wanted to ask ""what did you do to (GF's name)"", but I didn't. That was so fucking weird. It lasted most of the night.  I'm still not sure if she's the same, it seems so unreal. I am afraid. Anyone had the same thoughts?

​

I'm not officially diagnosed, I'm on Lamictal, Seroquel, Risperidone and Wellbutrin.",2.0787971014492754,4.477844234782608,2.6153260869565216,93.38096014492756,80.56521739130434,5.920289855072465,25.23550724637681,7.1686216300943375,1.037246376811594,457,18,96,6,12,141,77,115,0.11,0.89,0.0,-0.8653,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,0,5,6,1,2,6,0,10,2,0,0,1,23,22,7,0,3,5,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,2,0,5,5,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,4,0,1,12,0,12,2,13,9,5,16,0,0,0,1,7,5,1,5,9,62,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16618380081634046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17981632867549502,0.2016581499497745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604227635417345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15514910817914526,0.0,0.0,0.127612100293183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18118406515065005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37962539121573946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325046257677878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16844472439050034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386373114934024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15342626897978345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664702432296554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705572019474229,0.0,0.0,0.18031476010716496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31148224907750643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631747949122504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108269064961125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061638256539813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325349402224129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15641423819750253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3952583322618801,0.09677193145009418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16211766729444993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788682088594153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016581499497745,0.10687204873813907
bipolarreddit,Bipolar_Wonderlust,2019/07/20,"Bipolar and testosterone Anyone know their testosterone levels ? May be worth finding out.

https://kclpure.kcl.ac.uk/portal/en/publications/an-exploration-of-testosterone-levels-in-patients-with-bipolar-disorder(836b2e94-25fc-4534-abe9-474e6a2f7db4).html

Since I'm on TRT my welbeing and energy levels have certainly increased.

I guess I'll find out this winter if it also protects me from depression.",11.579999999999998,16.363851473684214,7.160614035087723,60.645131578947364,60.57894736842106,9.4140350877193,41.078947368421055,9.725611199111238,5.689189473684211,342,18,32,8,6,92,48,57,0.078,0.695,0.22699999999999998,0.6249,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,11,6,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,4,4,1,7,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,3,1,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29374572026737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25683872743830105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163722305096962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6714477628251969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4046444594896267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20186949940995247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038509504414277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gmaTheCreator,2019/07/20,Advice needed Need to get medical help for mental problems. Bipolar runs in my family on my dads side and my eldest sister has it. I feel burdened. I feel crazy. I feel ups and downs. I don’t know where to start as far as medical treatment for whatever.,1.4824666666666673,4.05052938,3.4720000000000013,85.01266666666669,85.2,6.533333333333335,22.333333333333336,7.793537801064563,1.462333333333334,199,7,37,4,6,67,38,50,0.151,0.7959999999999999,0.052000000000000005,-0.6249,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,9,10,4,0,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,3,7,0,10,10,0,9,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,1,23,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624842231647374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532231844014414,0.0,0.4074544061622245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403385153333246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18004474582167931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14762195354907387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5411960128556611,0.2706973935077709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.398344311672214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570250992598354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19012472838292996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,harold_the_cat,2019/07/20,"If one more person suggests I microdose instead of taking meds I'm going to snap I'm currently not on medication due to insurance issues. It'll be resolved in a few weeks and I'll be back on them. I've currently been off for 3 weeks. The longest I've been off of my meds in years. I'm not coping well, I spent all of today in bed.

I decided I needed to stop watching sex and the city and get out of the house and go to my favorite bar. While I was there I was talking to some acquaintances about my depression right now. One person told me to just meditate and microdose on mushrooms and everything will be perfect. He also suggested cold showers and a self help book, saying that's how he fixed his life.

I tried to explain I'd rather be on my meds, but he shrugged me off saying I was polluting my mind and body by taking my medication.

It's so infuriating, I'm done with the magic mushroom cureall. That's not how bipolar works!

End rant.",2.492840073529411,4.394535765625001,4.363664215686274,83.89334558823529,76.76041666666666,7.64264705882353,26.919117647058826,8.4952907291091,1.996970220588235,745,30,150,15,17,253,114,192,0.081,0.877,0.040999999999999995,-0.85,3,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,3,12,4,0,0,6,0,12,7,1,2,2,28,25,15,0,3,7,0,0,0,0,2,4,2,2,3,4,10,1,1,3,2,1,2,3,1,1,2,8,4,18,3,26,11,4,26,0,1,1,1,16,12,0,2,12,96,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11670773455235392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221843750861248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621058419150639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12569744425366958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493467381074294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12925904567028407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311609776724344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624734515056468,0.0,0.1658815181757455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978201447022965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16839454424447076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15232288143558473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308135752701307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4863175257451917,0.29403730749399165,0.0,0.0,0.14735725334660504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821226143334846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977847119705128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548574170880725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246315026329926,0.0,0.23211383456722945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522466864504829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220119244640279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21945662516029416,0.11730061098200947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13833354515061724,0.1394514094626346,0.0,0.09908331457042216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23412766599942275,0.0,0.13121710242023155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062456660272921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398022832619196
bipolarreddit,chaoticgiggles,2019/07/20,"Manic Episode caused by stress So last weekend I had a wedding to attend, Wednesday I moved, this weekend another wedding. Our mattress was lost in the move so tonight I'm sleeping on my couch as I'll be doing on Monday night before my new mattress comes on Tuesday. Our friend moves in tomorrow and the place is a mess and I'm cleaning and reorganizing and trying to make it an acceptable environmental but I'm down to my underwear because I'm running a temperature too. My cats are weary and my husband is worried and I just need to get this living room figured out because Jon has a big computer desk he wants in the living room and I want it on the same side of the room as the TV's so that we don't have Ethernet cords running everywhere. I've only stopped because I don't know where to move the big mirror so I can put the couch where it's leaning",4.4277552986512525,5.428390075144511,5.515736994219655,81.19514691714839,70.21387283236994,8.078805394990367,32.913776493256265,8.344100000000001,2.5202065510597307,685,32,134,10,12,227,105,173,0.081,0.887,0.032,-0.7845,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,3,0,0,1,8,5,0,1,13,0,12,1,1,2,0,22,24,14,0,3,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,0,6,10,0,1,3,3,0,9,2,3,0,0,3,0,14,2,18,20,1,39,0,1,0,0,8,19,0,0,11,80,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607095442268301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802829768268021,0.0,0.1304154641735794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574432462306189,0.0,0.13202244244830974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11841055870823178,0.0,0.08007355467319573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422929756952345,0.1249297428107415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27066794830910657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16730459164967604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230419516869084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6515769538546872,0.0,0.11364251981603855,0.0,0.14802229180491253,0.0,0.14382687648775358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165633637453608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16012714038302772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15407157508233044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533736135869887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281346712473675,0.17556216727096574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405546830239233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18079689278008185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155645943890716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Rachael_M,2019/07/20,"Soo, my mother is disappointed in me for having Bipolar disorder Apparently, she thinks she did her best to raise me and point me in the right directions in life long ago. I was in university, and eventually found a well paying job despite having a rough adolescence. But, somehow I ""now"" have this thing wrong with me, that made me through all of it away. Though she did say it pains her to see her adult daughter struggle soo much with life.

The worst part of all this is my mother is a FN RN. She has worked the ER and is now a oncology nurse. I was in health care, and on track to med school.  Yeah I had a fairly severe episode (the first of many). IDK what happened, but my mania became more severe. Like completely loose touch. I ended up diagnosed Bipolar, and began therapy and meds. Now I am temporarily barred from counting to practice emergency medicine.",4.0116126205083305,6.1513242760736215,4.587524101665206,82.90952453987731,73.11042944785277,7.847326906222611,26.980280455740576,8.634040054169528,2.016286941279579,679,25,129,13,14,216,108,163,0.14800000000000002,0.7859999999999999,0.067,-0.9019,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,3,6,9,0,1,9,1,14,8,0,1,2,16,21,9,0,0,2,3,2,1,0,0,7,1,0,1,7,8,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,5,2,1,8,4,21,4,20,13,7,18,0,1,1,0,12,10,0,1,9,93,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378485108306126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461049397501116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16319611306199908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585508294676763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16304724042388558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15783740571779306,0.0,0.0,0.17822570735546878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13773398238372112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132275074916977,0.0,0.1705065592910897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13751526234851127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652977940486746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543177525387626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21967988094127908,0.07597338225175475,0.0,0.0,0.13761973800933355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471454847557724,0.0,0.15766076312355826,0.0,0.0,0.3454687918953227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11431631580964202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16547153812490709,0.0,0.0,0.1684000729489206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14700537970479782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13280303207480404,0.0,0.12366624956697501,0.0,0.15738245714091442,0.12391978873924595,0.0,0.0,0.351359684455917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16257078691558527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778370172851312,0.0,0.10331264398332562,0.0996432845945944,0.15278587768562624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13982042014523394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132117185073258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17002364964636688,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,abdurdity,2019/05/21,"21, stuck in depression, left school, ADHD? hi! so this is going to be sort of a rant. i left college because i was depressed and wasn't passionate about absolutely anything. my transcript is a wreck full of withdrawals and Cs. I go to a top 15 university but i feel like i'm a complete idiot there because i couldn't keep up with my classes. i want to go into fashion merchandising (but my school doesn't have the major so i'm going to study economics) and eventually get an mba in marketing but im afraid it won't ever happen because i'm a complete and utter idiot most of the time.  i'm a complete disaster and i don't know how to function. i don't leave my home most of the time (i live with my parents) and i have a shitty part-time job that barely gives me any hours. i don't know what to do. i don't even have a license yet because i was in the hospital for so much of my junior year and i was depressed all sophomore year in high school. my parents don't understand my bipolar disorder and i'm taking so much depakote that ive gained weight and feel so stupid and behind all my peers. i don't know how to pay taxes, i've never paid a bill and i feel so bad. i don't know how to adult. i don't know why i should live any longer and i don't know if i could muster up the courage to do anything about it so i'm stuck here.  i'm always stuck in my head. i destroyed so many friendships and people's opinion of me when i've been manic in the past. and i'm terribly hideous. i've never had a boyfriend or relationship of any kind. i hate waking up every day. i barely take care of myself except for the days im going out to work. i have so many dreams but i don't know if i have adhd or just can't focus because im stupid and lazy. i don't have therapy or a psychiatrist right now until june so everything is completely miserable. please help me. i don't know what to do.",1.2667493428590682,3.038426576059852,3.408826582193168,89.92636516816069,79.99750623441396,6.230396980521669,23.057289209408907,7.2228458231874715,0.7885328705263871,1471,49,325,19,37,502,177,401,0.207,0.701,0.092,-0.9946,3,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,3,23,18,6,2,19,0,38,5,2,3,5,59,76,39,0,6,11,2,4,1,0,2,1,0,1,1,7,19,1,1,12,1,4,5,19,13,0,0,10,4,44,5,39,61,8,38,0,4,0,1,7,17,0,9,17,200,51,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19328616221289935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06691163751928984,0.0,0.0,0.16405466573022393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13234921947094427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714308137924993,0.24510087894222296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08198834847131425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372539648021208,0.0,0.0,0.06420475309389558,0.0,0.0,0.1037219140471975,0.0,0.2077837029338333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09216244058934857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053113282099147285,0.07273987960273785,0.06775302031727147,0.0,0.07227172565842796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198056675367852,0.05744841961107593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04201346550394923,0.07714129820002663,0.22850820011691245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711106292373734,0.0,0.0,0.07939306399692783,0.08252888563881842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05390041144286084,0.08496275543091522,0.08066269990280664,0.0,0.07919247675057968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26058566918716125,0.0,0.07979937861528197,0.0714764566966538,0.0,0.08373974228996911,0.35355140181317657,0.0,0.0,0.08514776659831996,0.17474204518948874,0.0,0.0,0.039286657531306834,0.0,0.14201565742548442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630561710793562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822840622184864,0.0,0.12404185440768202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17858245681626905,0.08708149878424723,0.07676511982719728,0.05574956549330578,0.0,0.0,0.08827141049673581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633550663603486,0.0,0.06867388400522971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24415251151943565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092399194461464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919614447507196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378114807948287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08371474540238916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04743079065890321,0.0,0.0,0.09792368256699548,0.0,0.0,0.07256193822840358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058543003900886514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10356911635516786
bipolarreddit,Tinypopplio,2019/05/21,"Mood stabilizers Vs SSRIs? So whilst I don't have a formal diagnosis of bipolar disorder, I do have a question that I think would definitely be best answered by this subreddit.

Also this got long winded, I apologize.

I was prescribed citalopram last September and have been taking the max dose of 40mg for the past 2 months. Citalopram helped my anxiety a bit, but didn't really help my moods much. 

My doctor recommended a switch to sertraline which I'm very unsure about. upon decreasing my dose to prepare to switch over, I've noticed my moods have been far worse. I've had days where I've woken up feeling incredible and a few hours later, just out of nowhere I'd be so irritated and shitty over the slightest of things. Or some days, vice versa. Or it'd even vary just throughout the day.

This isn't a new thing, this has been a part of my life for years. It's just never been this severe, and never impacted my life as much as it currently is.

So to my actual question; based on this information, would I benefit more from a mood stabilizer than an SSRI? Or a combination of the two? I don't know, I'm just a bit lost and frustrated and would enjoy functioning like a human at some point 🙃",4.171666666666667,5.7693137735042725,5.566324786324788,78.3092307692308,71.52136752136751,9.131623931623933,27.52991452991453,9.586721724236666,2.555694017094017,949,34,181,23,18,319,140,234,0.151,0.7609999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.9586,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,11,10,1,0,17,0,23,6,0,0,2,30,32,16,0,3,9,0,1,1,0,3,6,0,0,1,13,7,0,0,7,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,10,1,15,4,25,16,10,25,0,1,0,0,7,10,0,7,16,123,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.1367992313978479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210498695024618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724027374882994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14711431865344055,0.0,0.3060889486208668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712209892405193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16066285533507976,0.1434841268950815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259012135202506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088117467635094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211784363714876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18792458078950794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805287006771727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07704138659929034,0.11426856083761006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980320204946757,0.06848675594079974,0.0,0.0,0.12405831003350308,0.0,0.0,0.15302724939003692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118934243662688,0.0,0.2061025424657993,0.0,0.2162368789580392,0.13539045127192734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15960026051230689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15180546600186695,0.1338213621808367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13251906474908254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31407602488953346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980537413825898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583678667683181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10540082109426753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18626386306294354,0.08982416092199211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369392675171678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11566637064783215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285933564203174,0.2987477888900129,0.0,0.0,0.09027381356085458
bipolarreddit,katpoker666,2019/05/21,"Advice re best friend’s possible / probable suicide and implications As a bipolar person, life is a struggle. However, I have an odd situation that could be the mother of all triggers besides huge import for those close to me which is obviously bigger.. 

My best friend’s wife texted the following tonight: “Hi Xx. This is YY (best friend.’s wife). Just wanted to tell you ZZ died (best friend).”  That’s it. Have had no response when I replied. Searched various sources. May be too fresh for obituary. Not sure what to do. Back story is she has her own issues (believes in spirits, ghosts, possession to the point of needing multiple exorcisms that cost $$$$). They have two kids. She has and has had no job ever. He’s been a friend for 20 years and one of the greatest, most level headed people I know. He’s tolerated the exorcisms as he loves her. However think super rational guy who hasn’t had a job In a bit in this situation. He’s considered leaving before in the more traditional sense. This is new and am scared to death. Really hope she’s faking, horrible as that may be. I’m worried about him and the kids who are awesome. 

I’m at a loss here for once as to how to find out if it’s true (could be an psychotic break on her part, but not sure why she then has his phone for texting as he NEVER leaves it alone.

Tl;dr: how do I know if my friend is dead, how do I help if he is, and how do I keep it together enough to help?",2.150424570912378,4.218072665505225,3.768099109562524,86.9797238353336,78.44250871080139,7.457426764743838,24.566911859594782,8.401726058763845,1.6058977674538657,1113,40,233,23,27,370,165,287,0.111,0.763,0.126,0.7718,4,1,0,0,0,1,48.0,0,1,1,6,11,19,0,2,15,0,33,4,1,5,7,40,44,21,5,8,7,3,0,0,5,2,2,0,0,4,16,8,0,1,4,0,1,1,6,4,1,2,4,0,20,15,29,32,13,22,1,1,0,1,37,12,0,7,8,153,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000660266379876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10605756521330738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874079931352293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713654005140167,0.11537196129060197,0.4298582280858447,0.0,0.11179643685872097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16351929200638965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062770848002762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580861587694966,0.0,0.0,0.0926284506995527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359355168773864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4746930798477639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139405671368996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509397123605607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372757731051488,0.0,0.0,0.1017082686409128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10688105897978142,0.2032363223114923,0.09101958212555952,0.0,0.0,0.11255489688553504,0.0,0.0,0.21685781564677314,0.0,0.0,0.07232954464703813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242178216211068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592976831576206,0.07897871744106243,0.0989004673647593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090547633238232,0.06939022970872252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089136194660676,0.0,0.07099263714788705,0.08941345637143891,0.0,0.0,0.0968029673828451,0.11544284273720858,0.0,0.0,0.110406650756566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06560132853314808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252224301265314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23020822494514406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070527800737298,0.0,0.11201114217854184,0.0,0.1930253026380923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950384133114299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06561505196544358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003185180935917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06039933909958872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09240185651339304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399417821816244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594351572132527
bipolarreddit,Anonymustard1,2018/12/18,"Wish I could smoke some weed right now My life is such a shitshow. 29 y/o, live with parents. They’re gone for a couple days and I wish I could smoke but I can’t afford it. No point to this post, just lamenting. I really wanna end my life sometimes.",-1.054858490566037,1.0337837735849045,0.7975235849056617,101.14458726415094,98.0566037735849,3.4047169811320765,14.172169811320755,5.148860815047168,-1.1997528301886788,192,4,45,1,8,62,43,53,0.13699999999999998,0.7879999999999999,0.075,-0.6249,2,0,2,0,0,2,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,0,0,10,7,2,0,5,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,7,0,4,4,1,7,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,3,26,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3742926192538696,0.2593549604605015,0.0,0.1511661715526534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20760547949088332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33112196589405163,0.0,0.0,0.2069761576495289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602692647100437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22158019257969996,0.0,0.22448678680097428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15016022135324644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001730921779508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318238562537911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5390881731268762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,madscribbler,2018/12/18,"Using experimental ketamine therapy and it's working as a viable therapy. AMA. I started ketamine therapy a couple months ago and have been taking oral (lozenge) doses in ranges from 50ng to 500mg a couple times a week.  It's a dssasociative, which means it dissolves trauma response conditioning, and it's given me freedom from depression unlike any other drug I've tried.

I feel lighter. I've had truly transcendent experiences. And I feel so much better.

We're about to start a maintenance dose once every couple of weeks and taper my conventional meds.

Ask me anything :)",5.1420588235294105,8.103685362745098,6.088000000000001,69.58200000000001,72.82352941176471,8.393725490196081,30.788235294117648,9.120678840339163,3.407498823529412,465,21,68,11,10,153,74,102,0.064,0.804,0.132,0.7769,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,6,0,3,3,0,2,0,10,12,7,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,6,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,3,6,1,8,9,1,8,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,7,36,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13502634649784098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358578215194744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125349962054494,0.0,0.14240270597423008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13471851001403715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5056319916094022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311967403732531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17664788746000154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833983547159253,0.0,0.0,0.14900244409749386,0.0,0.0,0.1540395374709515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659258737285687,0.16919801497155235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12158384376473674,0.0,0.1119759247006785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16222046256018127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156319193924968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145289550050056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5225885119410097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882155406871013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341823554330176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155933209089993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443708127297525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089394175298888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tehreemyyy,2018/12/18,"Everyone’s experience with lithium bicarbonate? Disclaimer: Very new to the community and I am not aware of all the proper terminology! Not intending to offend anyone. 

I was diagnosed with NIMH bipolar in September and saw a psychiatrist who was frankly, very condescending and unpleasant. He did prescribe me lithium bicarbonate, which I filled and then never ended up taking, partially because I wasn’t very fond of him and I was scared? I have never medicated before and it’s all very intimidating. 

It also makes me feel embarrassed to admit, that a large factor as to why I didn’t end up taking it was due to the fact that in my online research, I found that lithium makes approximately 25% of individuals who take it, gain weight. I have some POS related metabolism issues, although I am a generally healthy weight currently. I also have a history with eating disorders and I am very afraid of weight gain being a trigger in beginning a dark cycle again. 

It has been months since I have seen that psychiatrist and my episodes are only becoming more pronounced. 

I would really appreciate anyone’s input/experience with lithium or any guidance on this in general!

Thank you all for reading. ",7.188973143759874,9.042829729857823,8.239127962085309,61.0464328593997,64.49763033175356,11.503443917851502,36.34154818325434,11.34169021259432,4.9617333965244885,967,47,145,31,15,328,126,211,0.057999999999999996,0.833,0.11,0.8708,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,2,3,6,1,3,9,0,19,7,0,4,6,32,31,14,0,1,3,0,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,13,12,4,0,3,1,0,1,6,4,0,0,11,6,20,2,22,18,5,19,0,0,2,0,6,7,0,2,11,106,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19233549529903093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177741112869663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16816995260000667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330623090558183,0.13281201668918408,0.10232800691575407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12205612560552308,0.0,0.0,0.13782245865094078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12305071727769698,0.0,0.0,0.21302017956420616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149086477088284,0.0,0.2352646063388789,0.0,0.0,0.06080445754301544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13185321896768065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12551480396162762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605420715567757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211440942414165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598626154669787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18549588358084965,0.1161428684510822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914592204769781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028737709944826,0.0,0.07703832623905807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039606789331815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09947604172247937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712500087853493,0.0,0.0,0.11071449479973043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4961141625632034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.439313974496592,0.0,0.0,0.10851128363317314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542558410173204,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,evilooop,2019/10/09,"Ever feel like you’ll always be picking up the pieces from when you weren’t well? Share your stories please. I feel like it’s one step forward, two back. I’m well (generally no symptoms/ mood episodes) for the first time in my life, but things keep coming up that I have to fix, mostly financial, where I can’t even remember making the mistake. I’ve accepted that I have this illness, and I know that it’s my lot and I have to get myself out of it. It just fucking sucks sometimes.",3.03548969072165,4.732858773195876,3.8583376288659785,88.99616623711344,74.67010309278348,6.911855670103092,25.527061855670105,7.645422480735847,1.2247742268041235,379,13,79,5,8,121,71,97,0.128,0.7440000000000001,0.127,-0.6221,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,0,1,8,10,2,0,3,0,7,4,0,2,1,19,17,4,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,9,4,0,1,5,0,0,3,3,3,2,3,1,2,12,6,9,14,3,13,0,0,0,1,4,6,2,2,8,57,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17786719820202185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16436986650837068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18413712847977684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411878564706392,0.1933600650374383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21616908954307285,0.3054233857125489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818259400898683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19761962457435986,0.1116818788628573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900015836016097,0.0,0.0,0.11747806434041068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15098649876421966,0.2088667371143444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18173290024165534,0.0,0.0,0.14268786715692647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448507367672745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23464660331872236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24215079823175104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21141619095713665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.222180678536864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14201404631392944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464640435871654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20881451892584105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38439561425498137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CripplePunkz,2019/10/09,"How do you chill out when manic? I have been in a hypomanic episode and it’s killing me because I rarely am manic. I can not sit still. Anyone else like this? I had some doctors appointments today and I was so fidgety I’m p sure people thought I was on something. I have so many ideas on what I could be doing in the moment so it’s just painful. Hell, it’s painful sitting writing this. 

I’m debating on going shopping(bad idea I know)or going to the gym to tire myself out but I  need more healthy, productive ways to kinda chill out.",-0.06972222222222157,2.188512953703708,1.5,94.995,100.01851851851852,3.8814814814814818,22.66666666666667,5.82211442006289,0.4026444444444444,421,18,86,4,18,135,74,108,0.11800000000000001,0.809,0.073,-0.5515,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,7,6,2,0,3,0,12,4,0,1,1,18,18,8,1,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,3,1,0,2,1,4,0,0,5,0,13,2,11,11,2,17,1,0,0,0,2,8,1,2,5,58,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389295308078913,0.20358264976070028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16589888128302435,0.12112033222999223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15863878291742864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20336889755114926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16598103073624476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258416145619961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4485964374375008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.219822412172194,0.0,0.10919550613404218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970705007859131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20144172573466732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473270326090226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4228429640890196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137747484288268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15296221932198512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15867507635366654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872641368920478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15773864598982326,0.0,0.2283663451402693,0.18833605773851766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15771185345351044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,monstrmutt,2019/10/09,"how do I get medicated hi all,
I was diagnosed with bipolar II after trying many antidepressants, and the last meds I was  prescribed were effexor and lamotrigine, after a serious mania episode (which was originally misdiagnosed as depersonalization derealization disorder before being corrected to bipolar II) around 2017. I took that for a while but it never really seemed to do anything besides make me ""neutral"" most of the time with the occasional serious depression spiral. I moved sometime after being prescribed this, and transfered the prescription to my new pharmacy, but a few months later my doctor that was prescribing the meds stopped refilling the prescription and completely ghosted me. he wouldnt return my calls (I left countless voicemails). so I had to quit medicine cold turkey, which was bad but I got through it. 


 since then, I've been unmedicated, but it's getting to the point where I really need to be medicated again. I was just wondering if anyone knows how to go about this? do i need to be reevaluated for bipolar II since it's been so long or does the diagnosis last forever? can i just go to a regular primary care doctor or do i need to do something specific? 
thanks for the help and sorry for the dumb questions",7.943279220779222,9.176597522727278,8.399480519480523,62.83136363636365,62.40909090909091,12.103896103896105,38.441558441558435,11.765960540728905,5.2108376623376635,1005,50,155,32,14,333,131,220,0.10300000000000001,0.845,0.052000000000000005,-0.8534,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,10,7,1,0,14,0,21,8,0,4,3,34,36,19,1,5,9,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,0,10,8,0,1,4,0,0,4,2,5,0,0,12,1,18,2,24,19,3,25,0,1,0,0,5,4,1,7,17,113,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09198762183997627,0.0,0.1082600940337508,0.11711350532223315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984449070255656,0.0,0.0,0.11194520612363533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343342724598002,0.0,0.13413099602185485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13793487445065167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11330973872616948,0.13352745305409638,0.0,0.0,0.1507755697308558,0.2693080604701128,0.1151263028402991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13746606876332454,0.0,0.14953360106560268,0.0,0.10521804630030802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817979636884883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230021483893574,0.2144728142255764,0.0,0.0,0.14293692338712374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11642368944668227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781523179052445,0.133378016768054,0.0,0.0,0.2922600487614192,0.26505941060068844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500743792194364,0.13982413218188414,0.0,0.2926432548278968,0.10146476780125338,0.1270584441193193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12436376439389993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14737380178124526,0.13992692411893728,0.0,0.0,0.16855739831523067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11976443284881087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21765040345512404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10127890524765998,0.1301131076039741,0.1472671444231545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10998743343258166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111988999682002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671186842100602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461645223589055,0.08931847861154611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14266781287806546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sxdcapricorn,2019/10/09,Why do I feel like an outsider? So I’m not sure if this belongs here at all but I just needed a place to share. I always feel like an outsider looking in on the world. I’ll go to the store and I’ll see all of these “stereotypical” families living life in a mold. When they argue about stuff I always find it trivial. I almost feel bad for them. It’s like they don’t see what’s really going on. I don’t see what they’re doing as really living. It’s kinda nihilistic but I take comfort in knowing that everything ends in death and that sets me free. I don’t wanna sound like a “I’m so quirky and different!!”  kind of person but I just find my perspective abnormal. I don’t understand people and why they live their lives like they do. Maybe I’m the issue and I need to work on my people skills or something. It almost feels like I’m the only person who’s self-aware. Does anyone else feel like this?,-0.007500000000000284,2.3141585265957474,2.155565957446808,93.00220000000002,91.39361702127657,5.135659574468085,16.03063829787234,6.742157984588678,-0.11100706382978708,705,16,151,10,25,236,103,188,0.081,0.748,0.171,0.9528,1,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,6,2,7,14,1,0,9,0,7,1,0,0,3,31,27,14,1,4,8,0,5,7,0,0,1,1,0,2,13,5,0,0,9,0,2,2,5,2,0,0,0,10,20,13,17,27,2,15,0,0,4,0,11,10,0,5,9,85,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21395585533096756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17778741150270908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747001945133885,0.10946314615935886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08920118443739501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161786169336496,0.0,0.0,0.09349037450645577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924535488912726,0.0,0.09462242572293213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601471063939823,0.0,0.10071274821528714,0.0,0.270090151987362,0.3052863805531644,0.0,0.0,0.1952870542105873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143143677874255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150601073836584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11125024415480453,0.05871268333497848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754593850313499,0.3653528284186437,0.0,0.3773423736529163,0.0,0.08971290580313561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10732821835224236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15843079479181835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08125139424785541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14812925387752165,0.1865651018333213,0.11161786169336496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13688005178264626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25539647084872064,0.0,0.11145023317726074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224534748016912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12229835136523183,0.0,0.0,0.10068894186766528,0.0,0.08032520318386185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121703519367887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19280052991571534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777577646437847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Lunar-Halo,2019/10/09,"Advice would be appreciated Hello everyone! 

This is my first time posting to the subreddit and I’m sorry it’s gonna be a long one.

Basically my brother (21m) had himself admitted for suicidal thoughts and attempts about a year ago. Long story short, he was in hospital for about 3 weeks and over the next few months went on medication and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and had a schizophrenic episode (that was apparent a side effect from the medication.) 

He went off the medication as he said he felt horrible with it and seemed to be getting better, went back to school, and seemed to be removing stressors and just pursuing personal interests and we as a family tried to allow him space to do that. Recently he moved back home from his university town as he was going to be doing co-op next semester. 

He’s slowly been deteriorating since. Not sleeping, mood is up and down, has moments of hyperactivity and then he had a manic episode a couple of days ago and was hearing a voice telling him to pull the plug as this is never going to change. My mom and I alternated watched him all night and he continued getting worse crying and laughing at the same time, getting angry and sad. My dad and sister finally decided to go against his wishes and called the ambulance and he completely flipped and has been acting like there is nothing wrong and will be discharged soon since they can’t hold him without his cooperation and is hiding all his symptoms and basically telling doctors that everyone is lying. 

I guess what I would like to know is how to help him when he doesn’t want to be helped and knowing that we are out of our depth. He refuses to try out different medications, diet, supplements, as when I do recommend it he says he’s fine and brushes it off. 

Intellectually, I know you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped  but I don’t want to come home and find him dead. How can I support him without breaking trust. He’s going to cut my sister off for sure and he refuses to talk to my dad at all (for irrational reasons saying my dad was horrible to him growing up for calling him out for failing school) 

Any advice would be appreciated and I hope you are all having a great day.",7.0387519747235405,7.080908305687206,7.709206161137445,71.1092436808847,64.28436018957346,11.20394944707741,36.303712480252756,10.864195022040775,4.007634755134282,1763,79,323,44,24,588,216,422,0.10400000000000001,0.78,0.11599999999999999,-0.4885,2,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,3,2,1,5,11,16,1,0,16,0,45,11,1,5,6,75,75,39,2,8,5,7,1,2,0,5,9,5,2,1,12,36,1,3,12,0,0,13,9,4,0,2,17,8,35,11,57,44,6,60,0,2,1,0,62,19,0,4,28,214,47,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608760587746703,0.1459359480116584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055977554421630174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265915104649306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280161977103841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16810723355568732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707918256888361,0.07090775737091339,0.0863065312006998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09108084700309567,0.09042002116773602,0.1061737390238024,0.0,0.0,0.08354878589668302,0.0,0.08600247206624287,0.09434101756430688,0.08425369079477901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15731251434492288,0.0,0.0,0.0775999932599915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07903605946408587,0.09017291550973863,0.07523513338207623,0.07001776203459475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901979575517744,0.0,0.18712782329081912,0.0,0.0,0.09075344014692134,0.09068011412809128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927758687320785,0.0,0.22069813386612905,0.0,0.16513888173214414,0.08175814486439223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13571580296858912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043066621289711,0.0,0.0,0.1456937533129164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3316979608261693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640724889150402,0.06570367177561134,0.08748864908043236,0.0,0.0,0.06348700560961915,0.0,0.1750875358093997,0.07724778509080316,0.0,0.07898421280364712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05577930416580802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07187496568889097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883576487811186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08463433346911846,0.08127690397805909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830115871295122,0.13092162736367402,0.0,0.1666159318288624,0.0,0.14987439255759846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13618493083389915,0.0,0.0823752293749937,0.0,0.06974589488054682,0.0,0.0,0.0921457785466879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004010500848761,0.09341097381596124,0.07758165027513866,0.08555761554588975,0.0,0.06616230742622918,0.14389524319417202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06534953606792847,0.0959979887857904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177402512291224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14565594268206802,0.0,0.06602875503016388,0.0,0.0,0.2289226635283636,0.0,0.0,0.09465908677930444,0.15869895261552594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388681419187627,0.17542430912353335,0.08999938536163858,0.0,0.05300866471580762
bipolarreddit,Ti3Lef1,2019/10/09,"Does your anger sometimes stick with you? When I have a partner during my depressive episode and then I get manic I often break up and get irrationally angry at them. I don't know why. But usually once the mania is over, it's fine again and I feel sorry. Does the same happen to you guys? Or does your anger sometimes stick with you?",1.4636363636363647,4.0431743787878816,2.466893939393941,92.07034090909092,85.51515151515152,5.118181818181818,18.85606060606061,6.6274283507984215,0.13364242424242478,263,7,53,3,8,83,49,66,0.251,0.723,0.026000000000000002,-0.9427,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,5,1,0,3,4,2,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,11,8,7,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,12,1,6,8,1,8,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,2,4,35,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19568279492122634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5964598531953255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11487666208372485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374001109246949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22495885500132945,0.2009078644951395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486047776774667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419553520680456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4494034994355095,0.2543262983814045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502232896835924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050082274540602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,boop111111,2019/10/09,"Loved one with bipolar and can't find info about the experience of coming out of manic episode There's a lot of online information about the experience of being manic, and about the aftermath of a manic episode.  But nothing I can find about the transition period.  I'm not sure if that's even the right word to use?  Is it more of a sudden return to baseline, or is it gradual?  If anyone is willing to share, I'd appreciate it.",4.578214285714285,5.815217535714287,6.446190476190478,73.78214285714287,70.07142857142857,9.40952380952381,29.47619047619048,9.725611199111238,2.9023476190476205,339,13,62,8,6,118,54,84,0.024,0.865,0.11199999999999999,0.8019,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,8,0,7,2,0,1,1,18,11,6,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,15,9,2,7,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,4,4,47,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861003421970282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22926721342114195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17579152389944352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5206973430105225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4865179783263637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262737339793081,0.2402134431271955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553809490692315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803521378594739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22729317873516924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508460206709467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298707081044543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,buymoremakemore,2019/05/25,"Starting 2mg Abilify and 150mg wellbutrin added to 500mg depakote for bipolar 1 (currently depressed/anxious not leaving house much for 4 months) any experience on this cocktail and anxiety side effects? 

i have been bipolar 1 for 10 years and in the past 2 years i went from an 8 month depression (then taking depakote and effexor) into hypomania for 5 months where i moved to houston for a second time 

went off all meds and got a full time job which led to feeling burnt out and anxious then depressed

 

and now 6 months into another depression and moved back home had to quit my job 

and have been taking the depakote regularly again but recently was prescribed wellbutrin instead of the effexor 

( to lift mood and manage the manic potential of the antidepressant) 

​

and my new doc encouraged me to try 2mg of abilify as well but am not sure of the side effects of anti psychotics as seroquel was very sedating in the past. 

​

Im thinking wellbutrin and depakote will be sufficient but am going to try the abilify as well 

any experience with this combo or some type of it will help as im concerned i wont be able to distinguish which is working at which dose ect",14.688629343629346,8.560217373873872,13.149742599742599,57.272027027027036,55.44144144144144,16.46949806949807,54.236808236808244,13.023866798666859,6.7929889317889325,955,50,162,21,7,308,128,222,0.069,0.8690000000000001,0.061,0.0662,3,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,4,7,8,0,0,11,0,15,3,0,3,2,31,24,22,0,0,6,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,6,16,1,0,5,1,0,6,3,3,2,1,8,1,7,4,33,11,4,37,0,3,0,0,2,12,0,2,19,104,13,5,0.10713586274277763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321633250418177,0.2603635996740341,0.14571212102072956,0.11234129343375827,0.08195864175447316,0.12103302988842225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823808653470545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768278847779105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20959886304541786,0.0,0.0,0.05417111127524202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060887779743646286,0.0,0.08568633648271877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718109104694209,0.0,0.1074660056553136,0.0,0.0,0.12362040126888844,0.0,0.0,0.2314502327370998,0.0,0.21263162487478346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134414094472182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190037914558458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34205929402213303,0.2277369341062551,0.07875718632630231,0.0,0.0,0.10347248384279156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20454660732707172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139521776409568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578373949170708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758313150745973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097428273421266,0.0,0.16110567111987892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06864833488903717,0.0,0.0,0.12494356625819855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14547643643923192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839830693801466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19265601421124995,0.19863203622166656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799618405870899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603635996740341,0.13798396603822372
bipolarreddit,BigPudge,2019/04/13,"My brother is having a manic episode, I'm flying over tomorrow so I can bring him back to America. How should I approach this? My brother is vacationing in a South Asian country for a month with his wife but he's Manic and it's hurting relationships with not only his wife but other relatives. My uncle passed away Thursday, and he had a traumatic heartbreak which what probably heightened his mania some more.  He even beat his my nephew (same age as me) out of anger, and then apologized but went back to physical violence. I am really scared, that he would go to violence, he's a sweet nerdy guy who would never hurt anything, which has surprised and stressed me out. I just bought the plane ticket just now. I want to bring him over to America, have him change his return flight from April 30 to earliest possible so he can see his psychiatrist. How should I approach him about this? 


He has the exact same symptoms as listed here , so Its specific to bipolar 

https://www.verywellmind.com/symptoms-of-mania-380311",6.239120879120879,8.350274010989018,5.9481318681318704,75.57186813186816,67.13186813186813,9.156043956043957,30.582417582417587,9.606745405546679,3.013325274725275,818,32,138,18,14,254,116,182,0.18899999999999997,0.741,0.07,-0.9828,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,1,13,8,1,2,7,0,14,2,0,2,2,26,22,15,0,5,6,5,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,10,8,0,0,0,1,1,7,2,6,0,0,3,2,22,2,21,15,4,25,0,3,1,0,26,7,0,1,11,100,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16649132501120234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900853909262032,0.3111416950977303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21402670979040855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13362981281989594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11498256858777167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20032765068283265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4331734174084006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16148912146894667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560409104015571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15387274102634324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280843100991168,0.0,0.0,0.21813413608922705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961075286520085,0.0,0.0,0.21721492507181075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20255664632743964,0.0,0.16122207453272705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317557681118655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21028694129408226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11933300724698885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18755177003288434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.287443271677975,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,XXthrow01,2019/04/13,"Prescribed Lamictal, but I haven't been diagnosed as Bipolar. **I'm wondering if this is normal. I have done extensive research and I am 100% sure I don't have any of the various types of bipolar disorder. I have never had a manic episode, and most of the symptoms I've read about have not occurred to me. I would really appreciate some advice or anecdotes regarding those who were put on Lamictal but do not have a bipolar diagnosis.** 

I have been on various depression medications over the course of 15 years, and till trying to find medications that work for me. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (including Panic Disorder), Depression, and PTSD. Every day, I experience depression for most of the day, and lately, my baseline of anxiety is high all the time, and at times has spiked so high that I have had mood swings (which is very uncommon for me). But the thing is, my mood swings from being depressed to being angry, irritated or just so unhappy and overwhelmed that I cry. Not happy or excitable. 

The medications I'm on are Gabapentin (prescribed for a chronic pain disorder, not depression), Wellbutrin & Buspar; I am convinced the Buspar is not doing enough for my anxiety, but this week my doc increased my dose to 3 times a day ""to give it one last shot"". Then he said he wanted to add Lamictal into my daily routine because it would help with my mood swings. He didn't really explain much more than that. I told him I didn't feel like the mood swings were my problem because they are being caused by my anxiety, which is not being controlled.

**Does this story sound familiar to anyone? Should I lose my skepticism and just give Lamictal a shot? Does my doctor think I have bipolar depression and isn't telling me?**  This post is in no way meant to avoid a true diagnosis from my doctor.

*Side note: I fully respect and empathize with those that have bipolar disorder, especially due to my exposure to the podcast Jen Gotch is Okay...Sometimes"" (I am a big fan of her creative endeavors through Ban.do and other projects, so I gave it a listen, and highly recommend). She is trying to erase the stigma of bipolar, and explains her bipolar disorder to reach out to those who either don't understand the disorder or to those who are experiencing something similar.*",5.332066710268151,7.379411995203839,6.118517549596684,73.70261608894705,69.33573141486809,9.754785262698931,33.25986483540439,10.090330364082071,3.818207673860911,1810,86,302,49,33,593,206,417,0.22,0.708,0.07200000000000001,-0.9973,0,1,1,0,0,0,69.0,0,0,1,3,6,24,1,3,20,0,48,17,0,2,4,61,64,28,0,7,18,0,1,1,0,3,17,3,0,0,23,18,0,2,8,1,0,2,14,13,0,1,13,5,41,7,45,44,11,31,0,8,0,0,21,13,0,9,15,224,64,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07182158962819403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963526813279037,0.0,0.049981295820919584,0.0,0.22490368487757176,0.0,0.0,0.05139164980328794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960764010106467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550289659561399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243448008858296,0.0,0.0,0.08073432061855362,0.14220077440122758,0.0,0.3798233476704603,0.07459912506944383,0.0,0.0,0.5896471271303553,0.15045704254600065,0.1286375388420945,0.07521417581775443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594328708717402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061925402782636814,0.0,0.0,0.0718953420224463,0.0,0.0,0.03716289789249088,0.05250712819860715,0.0,0.0,0.06717602254240075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14101233981430047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824019974855502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04926429365242831,0.2329646483777879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059910842027097774,0.08290917006091351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035907507594750164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222568480057962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22212510989282905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054029633227810785,0.0,0.056686342248146164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201263007687833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04980428193052727,0.0,0.0782072659638351,0.08623430069690033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039095806084024,0.0,0.0,0.07032785049179929,0.08591546172166772,0.07388599054115708,0.0,0.0,0.07351808886280957,0.0,0.09416965688099896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991361836344435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056582504546129765,0.07269159835910681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06927118293646793,0.07639277093318737,0.0,0.0,0.0642406656705603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048828937695205785,0.047094678324178615,0.0,0.0,0.128572173042144,0.0,0.0,0.07023067903773983,0.0,0.09980090542512987,0.0,0.0,0.07651421742695844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060643711699300565,0.04335114216454748,0.05833944947037785,0.05895582206025112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970566181594901,0.05350756438150582,0.0,0.0,0.104422023899586,0.0,0.0,0.047330430555732834
bipolarreddit,JesseMckaneWilson,2019/04/13,"Maybe I'm just an asshole I have been recently diagnosed and medicated and my mood stabilizers have really helped. But today I was walking in the parking lot with my daughter and a guy in a jeep drove aggressively fast towards us and I gave him a ""slow down"" arm wave. Now I think if I was in a normal state I would have just ignored him but I felt confrontational I guess. He yelled out the window to use a crosswalk. It's a parking lot? And i called him some rude names. He then took a lap around the parking lot to again yell at me ""that's how you act infront of your daughter?"" So I doubled down and called him even worse stuff. What the hell was that? I wish I had just said nothing and now I'm dwelling on it. Maybe I am just an asshole.",0.6749019607843145,3.0079707712418298,2.2243464052287583,94.25455882352942,86.38562091503269,5.230065359477124,22.225490196078432,6.691623216298621,0.4546313725490192,580,21,129,7,18,188,93,153,0.14800000000000002,0.82,0.032,-0.9589,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,2,0,0,11,7,4,1,13,0,10,3,1,2,0,31,21,13,0,4,7,2,1,0,0,1,2,3,1,1,6,10,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,6,0,0,10,4,23,0,14,10,5,23,1,0,0,0,18,10,1,6,8,92,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15126429153073606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34701341226221405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724646148243765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223016154218816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16314927148751365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871853766333743,0.1682469212749949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389339246877002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4333781940210869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34141375322638023,0.0,0.0,0.17117591966763565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16648493527421107,0.1630422476184468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885471905338437,0.0,0.16777490885418486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16163226111305629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19451706081604794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887749085390087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16106372360606092,0.0,0.1887867062019443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20439211728675447,0.14675580558216975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19539892490129054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731623858225372,0.1207058669539313,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,iamtheq73,2019/04/13,"I feel like it is time I thought about creating a throwaway for this but I guess it just doesn't matter. I have bp1 with PTSD. I'm going through a mixed episode right now, have been for a few weeks. I thought I could keep it under control, but that didn't work well. I'm in a foul temper, everything is going wrong all the time. I'm knocking shit over constantly. I'm tired but I can't sleep. I can't handle crowds or noise and I work in a loud, crowded building. I can't focus. I just feel like I'm falling apart. My brain is unleashing a torrent of self loathing like I haven't experienced in a long time.

I know this is hard on my family. My wife and kids are worried, and tired of dealing with my sorry ass. I just don't want to keep doing this. I was misdiagnosed until the age of 40 (6 yrs ago), so I've spent most of my life riding this damn roller coaster and I don't know if I can keep doing it. I do feel like it is time to just exit stage left. I'm miserable and I'm making others miserable. I feel an exhaustion so deep that I don't think it will ever end.

I don't know if I really have the guts to go through with a suicide, but I do know that the idea is very inviting right now. I have a plan that I know will be successful. I'm scared of what that would do to my children and there is still a very tiny part of me that wonders if things can get better. I'll work on making until tomorrow.",0.9398231966053744,2.6364026039603985,2.8059347006129194,94.2195668316832,80.71617161716172,6.044743045733148,21.0524516737388,7.021680442328713,0.31794021687883056,1091,31,257,13,28,364,147,303,0.21899999999999997,0.7,0.081,-0.9924,1,0,0,0,0,1,31.0,0,0,0,7,13,15,3,3,15,0,36,9,5,3,2,49,69,18,1,6,12,1,5,4,0,3,4,1,0,3,19,9,0,4,14,1,1,5,10,8,1,0,6,7,32,7,27,58,4,36,0,2,0,1,7,13,3,7,21,159,51,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942189890608268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400418622380788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865393237564673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486089743446393,0.11921240913721826,0.08486330113338261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095795287424865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941407092562805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096144693494975,0.0,0.0,0.09552590614297554,0.0,0.10020002632249714,0.0,0.2149721128112204,0.2277991409434384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05553173562562326,0.0,0.18121985613379024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708956973900107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09521427253636733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998760283428404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834242533286229,0.0,0.0,0.29206890487456205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11548355913690647,0.0,0.0750752263284284,0.20771019514568329,0.0,0.0,0.09406262361432598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189777243401527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510087802481543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424642167901526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809160227823112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18154084292830644,0.0,0.0,0.10641406130002863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11088284746374233,0.0,0.10910436693569074,0.0,0.0,0.10636599057479107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11898209069362654,0.0,0.0,0.08488271618909586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11626316592197927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061384134407624,0.06810584666191437,0.0,0.16876355162121895,0.24791241852342494,0.24432766767324354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753994921282411,0.06269214157391774,0.0,0.08525880884934578,0.0,0.09556678238136224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526613568430405,0.2321394755008917,0.10794187222755,0.0,0.07550481923751412,0.116210587184344,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kinos141,2019/04/14,"Needing some help I don't know if this is the right place to ask, and if anyone can help, but I want to know what I can do to help my wife who is having biploar relapse.  She came out of the hospital and was better after having our second child, and was fine for years, but now I see the symptoms coming back.  

I've looked all over the net and cannot find a decent resource on how to handle it outside of shoving pills down her throat.  

She doesn't think she has an issue, but I can see it from past experiences.  

I'm more worried about the kids health.  I don't want them to see this. 

​

Does anyone know pf any ways I can help her positively?",4.696166666666667,4.527982792592597,5.238657407407409,87.56020833333336,69.22222222222223,7.638888888888887,25.76388888888889,6.6274283507984215,0.8165,507,12,112,3,8,163,86,135,0.023,0.8009999999999999,0.17600000000000002,0.9590000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,1,1,4,2,0,0,7,0,16,4,1,1,1,23,31,10,0,5,5,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,6,7,0,0,5,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,3,4,15,2,15,28,3,14,0,0,4,0,16,6,0,3,5,75,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17091657580597733,0.1916773672706,0.10727196801563467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205978585957987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14747022422632974,0.0,0.0,0.12129612129319466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395125797876505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18041818680630484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13588329749921738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380436593893139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15430481949763655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14417601671243313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16767549396993986,0.0,0.0,0.4229324307181513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16464473318764214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600774797270733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324660199180022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696587369809848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15058539375577856,0.0,0.0,0.16480988724992696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13471331624238989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37710687990279795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16395739137160706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107658762987516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18608410443693085,0.12521059037882634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16019764296156933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916773672706,0.10158256902606604
bipolarreddit,drivingagermanwhip,2019/04/14,"Long term recovery I'd been bipolar for years, unmedicated. I tried to get help a few
times, but symptoms would pass by the time I got an appointment, or
didn't seem serious enough. I had a manic episode in 2015. I was
hospitalized and then later went to an outpatients psychosis response
service. Was put on Olanzapine. Later I was put on fluoxetine. After a
while I came off olanzapine and have only been on fluoxetine
since 2016. I also quit drinking in 2016. All that helped and I have
been sober/stable for over 3 years now.

One thing I've noticed since my psychotic episode is it's been really
hard to make friends. I haven't made any new friends since then, and
I've drifted away from the ones I have. Part of this is just getting
older (I'm 29), but I've noticed when I do meet people I would
potentially care about, I'm just not that invested. I'm also slightly
fatigued the whole time. The fatigue doesn't affect me when I'm cycle
touring, but then we're talking 8+ hours of hard activity a day. I
can't possibly do that every day as a software developer. I cycle
every day commuting for about an hour and a half, so I'm not inactive.

I don't have much ambition any more and it really feels like life is 
passing me by. One of the most noticeable things about this is that 
when I was actively bipolar I would be fixated on people. I was in 
love with someone I'd say continuously for 9 years (not the same 
person). But now I haven't really been attracted to anyone since I was 
treated. Obviously the previous thing wasn't healthy; but nowadays I 
try to date but I just don't develop any attachment to them. I'd say 
it's lack of sex drive, but it's broader than that because I'm also 
like this with potential new platonic friends. It'd be great to have
something in the middle.

I'm not sure how to approach this. I've been thinking it may be the 
change of being sober and treated along with the trauma of having had 
such a serious episode; but alongside that I've been wondering if it's 
something more basic like emotional blunting from fluoxetine, so I'm 
thinking of talking to my doctor; but she's a GP and I don't have a 
dedicated psychiatrist any more. Counselling is really expensive and I 
used to just get it on the NHS. Not sure how to approach looking for 
it myself. A lot of this may not even be a bipolar-specific thing so 
much as like a personal development/life situation thing. 

Has anyone had experience with this kind of problem and how did you 
approach it/what helped?

Thanks all",4.581177995391705,5.737478747983875,5.923953917050691,77.83164516129034,69.98790322580646,9.378248847926267,31.71175115207373,9.678323770799102,3.0257935023041482,1993,87,385,46,35,672,221,496,0.075,0.8079999999999999,0.11599999999999999,0.9749,0,0,3,0,0,0,51.0,0,1,1,1,23,23,0,0,26,0,52,10,0,8,5,65,78,39,0,6,21,0,3,4,3,5,7,2,0,2,26,16,1,0,5,1,2,11,15,6,0,4,23,6,32,17,53,44,16,54,0,2,1,2,17,13,0,8,34,258,58,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18823192782696405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21342040515223049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097213121660264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737152150003395,0.0,0.0,0.04782813885924731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973668339761505,0.07999461553238138,0.0,0.08299967110118603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15179952013653367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030654880683885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686036927753402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08825629575209619,0.0,0.08106956228590348,0.0,0.05182171199204905,0.0,0.13221090343914024,0.0,0.0,0.07674837542210386,0.0,0.0,0.039671444060113456,0.05605143078761751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818526775180563,0.0,0.12297543795557488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06275117169405069,0.08650179596641352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14056847233828704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15776910149314927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15453346356735376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170342023184551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05541821406768352,0.1533252528372998,0.0,0.0,0.06943412449297882,0.06588615871129312,0.0,0.0,0.06670339964939767,0.07081269671156988,0.07424020750874481,0.05237227720150061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535341395530108,0.0,0.0,0.15155320826532034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26797973520348584,0.0,0.0,0.15949841615771276,0.05967193024240379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496391432578554,0.0,0.10878777633372236,0.13701549179949918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845121592583577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750750760805762,0.0,0.15774679084818385,0.0,0.08345125906393237,0.0,0.0,0.2010524736753369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12478817199071796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07142651619938256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596097973062613,0.0881916839958556,0.0,0.0,0.06647841843444048,0.12080380116624152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14789416405534134,0.08154938690304256,0.0,0.12612543190397066,0.0,0.07223489962037752,0.0,0.0,0.2606247871054121,0.1005472663661248,0.0,0.0,0.13725096964408895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10653760231980502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06776375428437317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07273267547970448,0.0,0.08759714901965855,0.0,0.0,0.08508590242755698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16720597886743255,0.0,0.0,0.15157589703295773
bipolarreddit,spicyscentedcandles,2019/08/31,"Redditors who are currently (or have been) episode-free for a long period, what's your story? It has been 3 years since my last episode!  I still have an occasional panic attack, but l've been learning how to spot the triggering thought patterns. This is the longest period I've been well for which I am grateful. 

My first episode was 7 years ago. I feel like I'm on an upward trend, continually building towards healthy lifestyle choices and a resilient mindset.  I wonder about how bipolar disorder plays out over a lifetime. Have you heard cases where the condition was managed successfully and no longer hinders normal functioning? 

To clarify, I have BPII and committ to drug treatment indefinitely.",7.276302367941713,9.391571803278687,6.816338797814205,70.33676684881604,64.57377049180329,9.684517304189436,39.78506375227687,9.994966539143718,4.550259380692168,568,32,86,13,9,177,93,122,0.081,0.757,0.161,0.9072,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,2,6,6,1,1,8,0,14,2,0,3,1,16,19,7,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,4,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,2,1,1,8,2,9,4,10,11,0,16,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,3,12,58,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22268172018727544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28578662997006965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879074054291209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913228156378382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270188747254308,0.17946383939554486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21367834184736015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047689542443524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12272808277961568,0.0,0.0,0.2223121585208668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461315924512988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29473976622980064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078027728935926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20061592088356345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19943197414093172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258671601719901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724255654765086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32354086308614183
bipolarreddit,conplicate,2019/08/31,"I got diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder today i dont fully know what this means, I talked about it a lot with my therapist and we're working on it but i genuinely feel afraid of what it actually is as a whole. I want to be a better person in general, do you have any tips for me?",3.2682203389830486,3.81917137288136,5.762500000000002,80.01968220338985,72.5593220338983,9.967796610169492,28.309322033898304,10.125756701596842,2.7127254237288136,217,8,47,6,4,78,48,59,0.035,0.865,0.1,0.5346,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,2,1,2,0,1,3,0,5,2,0,0,0,10,10,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,8,1,9,8,2,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,1,35,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.2536589294349081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17676461982994174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298912622173967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638284135287933,0.0,0.0,0.2979078717608422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046417225833826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13143087648791246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20789365478845076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285340237126726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209873244684397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.283145267432148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22696509550223634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20892579606425304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3018044094709713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463878559627933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533163163949559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29020799081703696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18923567547771095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,moonkittiee,2019/08/31,"The only medications thats ever helped me (Lamictal, Tegretol) caused me a severe skin reaction. Is there hope for me? After 11 years of being wrongly diagnosed (although my dad was bipolar) and getting the wrong treatments, Im finally being diagnosed right. Zyprexa and Seroquel XR were a nightmare and I couldnt get over the side effects. Was put on Lamictal, developed SJS. Changed to Tegretol and it was like magic in my brain! Along with Seroquel IR it got me out from severe mixed episode with psychotic features (triggered by losing my dad in a car crash). I was over the moon, finally getting myself back. My BF was over the moon, seeing me improving so much everyday. I saw hope finally, being rightly treated. 

But now Im sitting here, with a fever, severe skin rash all over and body aches. I know its due to Tegretol, and I know I need to stop the medication. But I dont want to, its the only thing that they tried that got such amazing results. I dont know what to do and Im so scared, tbh.

Im so sorry for writing this here, I didnt know who else to turn to who might understand me.",2.889788732394365,5.133686183098597,4.130636150234744,84.41679929577467,76.84037558685446,7.076901408450706,28.95985915492957,8.07648339933343,2.156102535211268,859,39,162,15,20,281,123,213,0.126,0.805,0.069,-0.8589,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,1,2,10,9,0,1,11,0,16,11,5,4,2,33,33,13,0,5,2,2,2,1,1,1,6,0,0,0,12,12,0,1,6,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,10,4,21,5,25,18,2,25,0,1,2,0,8,11,0,3,12,107,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772045413236489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227156544735513,0.0,0.11283315381543138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10383189159754984,0.1069239728615708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20517804261121586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369183497005937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443521252453641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142814546854912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33216824342092416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584225842843584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616778594475796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677484577253417,0.0,0.0,0.20078060920650925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4367134800438732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22219275844366326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04938015101705223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307709737912285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036449052192245,0.0,0.10722462724858753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430177216129899,0.07494584925622913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15374422007185895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016083157913265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17263503571936312,0.0,0.0,0.10119373126865934,0.0,0.080543707553626,0.0,0.0,0.3425580202993318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314521374658655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450324554002338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714975443586679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06862330626161285,0.1099406012146996,0.0,0.10522266413297864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05961666766200259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210193424898905,0.0,0.06508900130082816
bipolarreddit,crazyausachick,2019/08/31,Talk to me please I need someone bpto talk to me.,-2.40909090909091,-0.8680969090909088,0.5004545454545449,101.2706818181818,109.0,2.2,14.590909090909092,3.1291,-1.451763636363636,38,1,9,0,2,13,8,11,0.0,0.7959999999999999,0.204,0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3297357982378108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4881417044967849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3767887337646629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7148581885937022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,eeeeeggggg432,2019/08/31,"Does your therapist cry? This might be wierd idc. I've been seeing a psychotherapist 9 months and we've been diving into deeper trauma in my last few sessions and she like tears up and cries. Sometimes I'm crying but sometimes I'm distanced from it. 
Basically i just wanna know if it's like not normal..",1.7361440677966122,4.504033355932204,3.08625,86.0714088983051,88.32203389830508,4.983898305084747,19.239406779661017,6.6274283507984215,0.44216779661016936,244,7,44,3,8,79,48,59,0.159,0.736,0.105,-0.2846,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,12,8,5,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,4,2,5,4,1,5,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,2,4,25,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6999582722876257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858790428271147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11673348660469515,0.1731402834849524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075429365983923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253305584986473,0.0,0.0,0.16954146506150272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20811403686111268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16926110234483785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42015246392889816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466212243139661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SlurpinNoodles,2019/08/31,"Morning hell So something's been happening to me almost every morning and I'm wondering if it happens to you guys as well.

I usually wake up from sleep uncomfortably. I feel lost, almost as if something bad is about to happen. That, coupled with lots of anxiety, has me on edge for 30 minutes to an hour. I'm happy that it only lasts for that long though.

I thought maybe it had something to do with my trauma, because I was high when it was happening and everytime I smoked weed (I stopped since Feburary though) I feel a premonition that something horrible is coming soon. I also think it could be because of my dreams, which are so vivid that they can feel real. So if I have one that is basically a nightmare or the events in it are similar to my past trauma, the morning hell follows.

I'd love to hear your guys' thoughts.",3.8655996177735337,5.658252291925467,4.777888198757768,82.86585762064023,72.66459627329192,7.686765408504539,30.39703774486383,8.384062270229773,2.3354592451027227,653,29,124,11,13,212,101,161,0.17300000000000001,0.755,0.07200000000000001,-0.9493,0,0,5,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,1,1,10,9,2,0,5,0,15,3,2,0,0,22,33,15,0,4,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,13,5,0,1,7,1,0,2,0,6,1,1,7,5,17,3,20,24,1,15,2,1,1,1,7,4,2,8,9,87,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2498616938617515,0.0,0.0,0.09977190731552832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544237900592924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417083002250564,0.15210718051166255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747117990768032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09961208636528407,0.1380464769631666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511713519843084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892498322138861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470674477699164,0.4413055295593941,0.1328111774062957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061553276096944,0.0,0.0,0.1318176135564254,0.0,0.0,0.12286516890771307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016974585263426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11041020160750813,0.0,0.0,0.13619216199248196,0.10606795803900296,0.11260232886044898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12533992301903468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454177448838356,0.09488691470487516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11909918468006984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420061581602913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320418911153366,0.0,0.1248518275622111,0.0,0.0,0.38419068834278414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430638950971484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07994227645003459,0.2451555249568341,0.19809374906336336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374074151345415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217577507693537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13529877001521476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,iforgotmylastone000,2019/08/31,"No, i dont want to change my behavior today Rant 

Ive been missing therapy because i accidentally did a no show when I was sleeping off a cold, and its a $100 fee. I usually go weekly, and its been about 3 weeks, but payday is next week thank god. Anyway, i think thats been contributing to this.

Ive hit a depressive episode over the past couple of weeks and I've only just accepted it today. There was a lot of deliberation on whether it was just a bad day, or bad week... no. It's gonna stick around. I feel awful. I slept all day. I can't get things done. No amount of water or tea or yoga or funny youtube videos or showers or whatever else i like to do that is self care will help.

Boyfriend came home. Boyfriend has been working a lot. Boyfriend tries to tell me story from work. Exasperated, i say ""yeah, yeah"" in the middle of it. He stops. We fight. He asks about my mood, i say its because of the disorder. ""Well you shouldnt take it out on me.""

""Well then you should leave me alone and ill go back to bed.""

""Then youll just be mad at me for not spending time with you, like you have been the past week.""

""We just had date night last night. Ill just go to bed.""

""No it's still going to come back to me. You do this every time. It's always my fault.""

This fight has just fallen into stupidity and i just feel like he's made it about him and lied about the reality of things. Yeah, i have lots of overwhelming emotions. Yeah, ive been upset abour feeling separate due to his work schedule. But we had date night! It's not like ive brought it up since. And ""every time""? Really? Aren't we supposed to avoid generalizations so conflict doesnt get out of hand? Isnt that conflict resolution 101?

Im just fed up. I don't want to even attempt to change my behavior, nor do I want to be blamed for having depression. Im getting lectured for having an illness and wanting to separate myself from the people I'm hurting with it. I dont want to try today. I just want to be alone. But im damned if i do, damned if i dont, and its all about *him*. 

Just fuck it. Im tired. Hes tired. Fuck it.",-0.16930934054503766,2.057275185354694,1.927949240690662,95.3918739338465,90.05263157894737,5.100378614520492,18.47177033492823,6.6590880762095805,-0.03500970251716229,1604,46,372,21,55,534,206,437,0.272,0.624,0.10400000000000001,-0.9978,1,3,0,0,2,0,79.0,4,6,0,4,26,28,8,3,14,5,45,13,3,1,2,69,78,26,0,10,24,0,4,4,0,5,5,2,4,1,25,21,3,4,5,3,2,8,17,18,2,0,18,7,47,9,48,51,6,54,0,5,0,2,25,13,4,11,37,229,72,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15251770172949908,0.0,0.0,0.06126636086518305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655466340882598,0.06883445053521392,0.0,0.0,0.1132344092520746,0.1229565560160016,0.08976877239519786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421352052948364,0.07507106282873154,0.0,0.1557823231609624,0.06342603850602706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08147059677774562,0.0,0.0949709863820195,0.0,0.12683544843927705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438677564474813,0.0,0.0,0.07534942581080394,0.25888271307222904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06150872069021921,0.0828242485990168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048632160689274985,0.0,0.12407351385675933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168917244202778,0.05260154642026151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614016924540615,0.1154064778949618,0.0,0.16738332963356606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04935288061494751,0.0,0.0738572580768274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788228270218426,0.0,0.3181337105993113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06001857359338372,0.0,0.07796392359659618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143888305636281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18779370608798973,0.0,0.06967083028295837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830672693597084,0.20729132495527428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05599920937835933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405770268837385,0.05104602314665157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047169496292670664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11710764077621745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681252735087836,0.0,0.0,0.060907797589962426,0.0,0.07368353850130882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05880130342994457,0.06155828086330559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05536086996526909,0.0,0.06435618311778317,0.06778894619017674,0.08420273765018711,0.0,0.09783348360288184,0.04717936388839256,0.0,0.0,0.12880337128796995,0.1692545428350775,0.20937892577153133,0.0,0.0,0.09998036723027934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08109344301256945,0.0,0.26057457665341793,0.0,0.3543710178683025,0.0,0.1324050789353002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16081134475700987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheBeads,2019/08/18,Anyone else medicate with quality food and exercise? Personally I add marijuana to the mix and I’m far better off then I was wen on any combinations of meds I was ever on in the past.,0.8554054054054028,3.4024891351351343,4.836540540540541,73.56724324324324,90.08108108108108,9.446486486486489,23.616216216216216,9.3871,3.1287664864864864,146,6,28,6,5,55,30,37,0.0,0.917,0.083,0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,0,1,5,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,7,1,0,8,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,3,18,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185261071595831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246923971771176,0.32925666222578953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842041730449335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684431125994798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906755986626221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3885725168722001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3569426496835799,0.3237220028681085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30676084816256177,0.0,0.2805866854403488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,asdkemp2018,2019/08/18,Aripiprazole energizing I'm coming off quetiapine crosstape with aripiprazole at mo. I found 5mg aripiprazole very good but was still taking 150mg qt at the time. Im interested to know peoples experiences. Im finding 15mg now making me feel very tired and spaced out. Opposite to a few weeks ago on the lower dose. However could be that my mood has dropped and body struggling with coming of quetiapine. I've been on it 12 years so very big deal. Still sleeping well but on 50mg quetiapone,3.1622340425531914,5.884600755319152,4.395148936170212,80.29400000000003,78.68085106382979,8.440851063829786,27.48510638297872,9.120678840339163,2.732424680851064,397,17,74,11,10,130,71,94,0.107,0.754,0.139,0.2975,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,3,0,5,4,2,1,0,15,13,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,3,1,3,4,12,8,1,19,0,0,0,0,1,9,0,0,7,35,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15818585458058432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19821859426553812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3074391018507544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14247843185461362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18397492449719796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745591106142732,0.0,0.0,0.09023007918839758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631007853880831,0.0,0.0,0.19566207593057566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14967605265809433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3855149421235177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980718850298234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911728526966545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12371530588157495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17857966090594832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28502205624016697,0.0,0.0,0.18655550722401407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13417278250935852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405608831132188,0.20510292720091447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4417217616938228,0.0,0.0,0.14314245644951196,0.0,0.16044868758624584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11491645536952726
bipolarreddit,shadow-sage,2019/08/18,"Anybody try Vraylar?  I've been on it for a little over a month. I have BP2 with mixed features, and so far the med has been working pretty well. I'm just wondering if anyone else out there is taking it or has tried it. It's a newer med, so I'm really curious to know how many have trialed it.

If so, were/are there any side effects you noticed?
Did it help your episodes at all?",1.5346607142857138,3.145263287500004,3.3221428571428615,91.60000000000002,78.625,6.071428571428572,23.92857142857143,6.868970318607317,0.725857142857143,293,10,65,3,7,98,61,80,0.0,0.855,0.145,0.8859,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,0,2,8,1,0,0,4,0,8,0,0,2,1,12,13,8,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,3,1,7,10,1,9,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,4,2,41,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15717147295819506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616064802776434,0.2368126868499741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19307349570791368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154916783777271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127019081586476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23164582773188486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23432230777522256,0.0,0.0,0.513450797633074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18448006488372573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631349123643923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23513504270409774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14806322482098985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17377563001932847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138345065008078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078072113405676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506428868032094,0.1682601975422732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,spazzieabbie,2019/03/22,"It this a mixed episode? Backstory: diagnosed 7 years ago as bipolar 1 and never had a mixed episode. Anyways.....
The past few days have been miserable. I will be perfectly content and happy, getting things done. Then I’ll crash really hard and that lasts for hours no matter what I do to try and get myself out of it. I know that I can google symptoms and that this is probably a mixed episode, but I feel completely isolated. I quit my job about five weeks ago, and currently do not have health insurance. I live with my boyfriend, who is the main bread winner and starting the process of getting me on his insurance. If this is a mixed episode, what have you guys done to help stabilize? I am taking 300 mg of lithium ER three times a day and 7.5 mg of remeron at night. ",4.38518181818182,5.74486116666667,4.596181818181822,86.3980909090909,70.66666666666666,8.654545454545454,30.96969696969697,9.095868883498916,2.519733333333333,605,26,123,12,11,189,102,150,0.069,0.83,0.10099999999999999,0.7798,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,2,2,3,0,1,8,0,16,5,0,0,2,18,23,12,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,12,10,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,1,2,4,2,14,2,13,17,2,18,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,1,15,82,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3155231092569433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18660039177907506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295546005947017,0.0,0.0,0.18063796521648065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3642545582808423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998805616819601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2789492764943512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17622038899980108,0.0,0.18945464129175146,0.15942807079429394,0.0,0.0,0.18917605136714086,0.0,0.0,0.1192909669505884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17526669785820154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766098770352511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780882803125622,0.14507103921268066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571526509994148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372630779481404,0.0,0.0,0.1670147874265718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16989453562839274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19188405686760884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892952668063363,0.0,0.0,0.11401350343105725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12596958931798366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18498118692107807,0.13381289252207434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823677477093017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377697995865287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12083139357181402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14275850721727593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460821638924973
bipolarreddit,kickingandsinging,2019/03/22,Hormones? I recently went to the gynecologist to complain about my non-existent sex drive. She tested me to see how my hormones were faring before doing the shitty thing and just sending me straight to my psychiatrist and making him deal with it. It turns out that my testosterone as well as my estrogen are low. I have the worst mood symptoms the week before my period and the week of my period. Has anyone had a similar experience?,5.7251666666666665,7.557501850000005,6.720000000000002,70.63166666666669,68.0,9.833333333333336,30.833333333333336,10.125756701596842,3.4710833333333344,348,14,57,9,6,116,57,80,0.146,0.8079999999999999,0.046,-0.8645,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,6,0,6,3,0,2,0,8,10,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,3,1,13,1,10,7,1,11,0,1,1,1,5,3,0,0,5,46,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18421856486582602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44837304852994975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27161747131844305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577161227282766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17586274816357886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260136670527582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20994488540952652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738376113882844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17503226420176424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28657070334770623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4226662102499623,0.0,0.23688373248498185,0.2442316598519813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Twilek36,2019/03/22,"Going off Seroquel - coping suggestions? I'm getting off of Seroquel. I love the sleep, but I've gained 30 lbs in 6 months because I'm always hungry and always eating. 

​

Those of you who have stopped taking it, what worked for you to sleep again? I plan to use melatonin and magnesium, but I am open to suggestions. 

​

Thanks!",4.23,6.8607141428571445,4.051031746031747,84.72035714285717,74.23809523809524,6.104761904761905,27.96031746031746,7.1686216300943375,1.6790126984126983,273,11,46,3,6,83,45,63,0.036000000000000004,0.802,0.162,0.8463,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,3,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,4,2,1,0,7,10,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,9,10,0,8,0,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,3,26,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031405212808099,0.3947367866013377,0.4426844363327983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104198157982656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18639337083001026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517016998731244,0.0,0.10352473421444916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16440493716480212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453969813331824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645796152353963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15229245777398276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13696033796392731,0.0,0.0,0.1677068475666965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15732624631640696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261337921032826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4426844363327983,0.0
bipolarreddit,theprojectisreal,2019/03/22,"Is this something to worry about? so I just realised the appointment I have today is with an SHO, which means it’s someone so don’t know. Normally I have the same team of CPN and Psyc and it’s making me not want to go. I find it hard to talk about what’s going on to people I know let alone complete strangers. Have any of you had this problem?",0.04610350076103487,2.2988432602739732,1.6363470319634708,97.77756468797566,89.0,4.3403348554033485,19.07001522070015,5.82211442006289,-0.2997811263318111,270,8,61,2,9,87,52,73,0.157,0.843,0.0,-0.8405,0,1,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,5,1,0,0,3,0,8,0,0,1,0,14,15,4,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,4,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,1,7,0,10,13,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,42,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585963151151012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16979302009592548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617879029904086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22820576293926784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838012359490245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236669491051135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27443852330778834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25531781125933195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16666535908786956,0.0,0.0,0.2719780130742509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446363533593333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17309877263186074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389129360439543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21155561820123048,0.19221819229940174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006857589704501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366703145636852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472695181633429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535652334329247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,marekstopka,2019/03/22,"Do you do cocaine to cope with the lows? My PDOC is much more afraid of me having a manic episode with psychosis, than he is about the lows of depression, so he never prescribed me any anti-depressants, even when I was on Olanzapine tired all the time, he would not give me any stimulant which eventually led to me being let go from my last job about a year ago. Today I got some bad news regarding other job opportunity on different continent I was looking forward to... feeling down, I've reached to my stash and had some white nose powder, how about you and a drug habit? Do you self medicate with illicit substances?",9.968389830508476,7.411657364406782,9.514,68.88608474576272,60.10169491525424,13.168813559322036,40.54915254237289,11.602472056035307,4.5235471186440686,491,20,92,11,5,159,84,118,0.11699999999999999,0.836,0.047,-0.8604,3,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,0,1,7,6,0,1,6,0,12,4,1,3,2,16,17,5,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,5,0,0,4,4,13,1,17,10,5,15,0,3,2,0,8,6,0,2,8,63,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17951778674889346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754349922497231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16909199763078558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3488526361164957,0.0,0.0,0.2115856120526531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23485370531886635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13375958902070562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239793031447612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942713373370108,0.11509423529294595,0.0,0.16197015910342313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4019308039658565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650771757552289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070858369964229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17006202945838042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040130776821285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14887220674187446,0.0,0.15619245140947638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112678512423374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808842655953053,0.2327617955755369,0.19196103061468686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14386121283516626,0.0,0.0,0.13041335322720812
bipolarreddit,teachmehowtopuppy,2019/03/22,"Any Bipolar people also diagnosed with ADHD? I go to a new psychiatrist in April to sort out some meds that aren't working. Bipolar Type 1 is my official diagnosis. My therapist also wants me to be tested for ADHD because of the things she's heard from me and seen in my behaviors. Valid, but I'm a 28 year old, so I feel like if I was ADHD, I would have known it long before now. 

I'm wondering if anyone out there has a diagnosis of bipolar and ADHD. How do you cope? What does the combination of meds look like for you? My biggest concern is adding on an ADHD med because of the link to psychosis that's come out recently.",3.1295275590551204,4.6018262440944895,5.251188976377954,80.03426377952758,73.96062992125984,8.229606299212598,27.660629921259844,8.841846274778883,2.2148966929133853,491,19,97,10,10,171,86,127,0.0,0.934,0.066,0.8349,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,1,6,2,0,0,7,0,9,4,0,1,0,19,19,9,0,4,3,0,1,2,0,1,4,1,0,0,5,7,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,4,13,2,18,14,1,16,0,0,2,0,4,7,0,5,9,64,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7327266566367734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19502695217541535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292176763539888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526162384138103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148664091011961,0.0,0.10375993926621246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503846838271523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12376412442318845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10670843892555867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06165532791987718,0.08711226494181147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692999633574712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914513028259505,0.0,0.0,0.10791096255425647,0.10239689572606477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4063356434745432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776811979353295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795302719760654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08453619703591304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039869578848547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14157898304291508,0.08100994099777878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192197157467796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223615474093975,0.08877204457196759,0.0,0.0,0.08662099150894151,0.0,0.0,0.07852383376949533
bipolarreddit,C3-RIO,2019/03/22,"Getting lost in the healthcare system I was hospitalized 6 months ago for Bipolar 1 for ten days. When I got out, I ended up on State medical insurance and had a difficult time. It seems like everyone is giving me three more numbers to call. First place said to go to place two, place two says they only deal with ""mild to moderate"" clients, and with my recent hospitalization they won't take me. Apparently my state ""plan"" only covers these mild to moderates and not anything more severe. I'm frustrated. I feel lost in the system and I won't get the care I need. I know there have to be resources out there, but I don't know where to find them. I live in California. 

​",2.879911920140927,5.321070015267175,4.013282442748096,84.23745742806814,77.85496183206106,7.389547856723429,24.580739870816213,8.384062270229773,1.7197852025836764,536,19,104,11,13,174,89,131,0.076,0.882,0.042,-0.467,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,3,4,4,6,1,0,4,0,8,2,0,0,0,16,24,6,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,2,2,2,0,0,2,8,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,4,0,5,6,3,16,2,18,15,2,24,0,2,0,0,8,11,0,1,9,65,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13026028723331978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15921779294646055,0.17855756371609788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092545259058167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500500515966995,0.0,0.1498229938292097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476912255211566,0.1514966466013879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13015206329750376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041484351976374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430118238656003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343075536618773,0.124993655344356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354823704356535,0.1409656427979339,0.08351377554096791,0.0,0.11752751540743052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16151724751077576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179123324996163,0.0,0.12975752873930552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3208215896240304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480343679559733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729226793512425,0.0,0.0,0.108959872220974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235207251634515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4605872727079994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450931453403263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13978093216396514,0.1168587247885178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13377568508283158,0.0,0.16600909630310062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104863973766966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568639710387946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870931396984808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17855756371609788,0.0
bipolarreddit,Asingleflame,2019/08/19,"Introducing a partner to BP/BP2 Hi friends,

My family made my bipolar II disorder feel like a dirty secret (my mom refuses to talk about it and says I don't have it, more than 6 years after diagnosis). I've only told a handful of people and even my relatives outside my immediate family don't know. 

I've spent years fighting the diagnosis because of that shame, but I'm finally working on a treatment plan and referral to a psychiatrist. My swings, depression and anxiety have all been coming to a head.

My partner of 8 months is still unaware I have this. He knows I struggle with anxiety but that's only because a panic attack tripped up my heart murmur and he had to take me to emerg once when it felt like I was having a heart attack. 

I'm worried he'll be stigmatized, or that he'll look at me differently, but I need to let him in on this before it causes problems in our relationship. Do any of you have any recommendations for websites or anything to show him that won't scare him off? 

Or any advice on how to start this conversation?",5.524371482176363,6.129155463414638,6.964878048780488,73.2145966228893,67.53658536585365,10.210131332082552,33.330206378986865,10.214889679676881,3.454639774859287,830,36,155,20,13,285,125,205,0.19399999999999998,0.7559999999999999,0.049,-0.9832,1,0,0,0,2,0,18.0,1,1,0,2,5,12,3,4,9,0,15,5,4,3,1,25,31,13,0,2,6,1,3,2,3,3,1,1,0,2,11,7,0,1,5,1,1,2,3,9,0,0,7,5,20,3,26,19,2,18,0,1,1,0,22,8,0,3,10,98,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12769103519362596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665840495900155,0.0,0.19992723977251453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10753181181893684,0.0,0.0,0.29731622413722564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15931271341940825,0.0,0.11119213359602316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342360016858579,0.0,0.11256224214980556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254748677898606,0.0,0.0,0.1365242879642016,0.14976127940676653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630753514984615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24637161168313865,0.0,0.06607162174010636,0.09335200723672936,0.12546548352144374,0.1431446420998325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095675958750899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341070334319315,0.0,0.0,0.30969358092962784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362768046562693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336208363561687,0.0,0.1276793465511584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10973145695641516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12364487919804658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530413102470154,0.10430103682240376,0.0,0.0,0.09689153296080973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916127270639975,0.0,0.1987636849066512,0.0,0.15331528001801634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09059141881724134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12503532821717386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402926815887543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10391551269115147,0.13082533383701306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09249021937553437,0.0,0.10435472104688773,0.0,0.0,0.13660660633027247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824898097746344,0.10502909619245727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486256785884207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09513067480035207,0.13270362296714294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16829679501967107
bipolarreddit,hellohello656776,2019/08/19,I can't start a relationship because as soon as my mania ends they stop being attracted to me. I wish things were different. Nothing helps. When I'm not experiencing euphoricmania I'm awkward and anxious and I'm a different person from when I'm experiencing mania.  When I'm experiencing mania I feel confident and great but I have no sense of morals. Just wanted to share thank you.,2.5145833333333343,5.487541291666666,4.918000000000003,72.62700000000002,87.47222222222223,7.88,25.25555555555556,8.548686976883017,2.682312222222224,311,13,53,9,10,108,48,72,0.122,0.6779999999999999,0.2,0.7689,2,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,1,0,5,5,0,1,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,10,14,9,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,4,8,4,6,12,0,7,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,7,32,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28498642981339256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15377774651428353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5271242174460234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22343096057989625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12755221955186305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27812186655014554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690871906222277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24205403847370785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202671279817061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27083704701418154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17855370365499898,0.0,0.0,0.21090393592056905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23225072830028046,0.0,0.0,0.1675929417399283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14879179818519164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900910627560981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ephemeral_loophole,2019/08/19,"Please Enlighten Me On Topamax My Dr. started me on this after a manic episode this summer. She wants me on a very low dose (100mg)

last night was my first night taking 50mg and today i am a complete fucking zombie. i liken it to when i first started taking seroquel but i am less numb if that makes sense. i am, however, brain fogged, exhausted, feeling cognitively slow and forgetful.

 i have a few questions. 

it took about a month for zombieness on seroquel to go away, is it about the same with topamax? i am afraid of it never going away.

i refused trying lamictal again bc although it worked really well for me eventually i could not handle the cognitive side effects. i have read a few reports of cognitive side effects on topamax. does anyone know how common they are and if they would eventually go away? 

how well did it do to stabilize you? 

any other noteworthy side effects? 

i know everyone experiences meds differently but i'd love any information. thank you all",2.959652014652015,5.82310613736264,4.322967032967032,79.50536630036632,81.03296703296704,7.422710622710623,27.89743589743589,8.418075326091056,2.592418315018315,775,35,133,18,21,255,114,182,0.055999999999999994,0.8140000000000001,0.131,0.9302,2,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,2,2,6,8,9,1,1,8,0,13,7,1,6,2,29,29,11,0,5,5,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,10,4,0,1,9,1,0,4,2,5,2,2,3,1,22,4,19,24,5,32,0,1,0,2,9,12,1,3,16,95,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19253461045537545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898374094768587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3990076823610497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580304868340316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484255121197337,0.0,0.0,0.11302607948966747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479026069337808,0.0,0.0,0.1238822344644706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526896620483578,0.0,0.13847521800399176,0.0,0.0,0.07157821692698944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24082585739184725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13087218331458278,0.0,0.0,0.2413595699310673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15559801618806793,0.11539227267205915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776561797764222,0.0,0.09449401974904348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15724394422482127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129937792165946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10918167129951484,0.0,0.0,0.26569349741458786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15539303523024867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15858231712270288,0.0,0.14160073651692182,0.0,0.09068851610641332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20039722990689784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21287465595813354,0.0,0.0,0.130331663926627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13418462901221398,0.0,0.1572810659469471,0.09611159601567737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680382848043284,0.08349718762146717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545632469571375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305913337582212,0.0,0.0,0.10056188702321442,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pussydestroyer69__,2019/08/19,"Experience with bupropion / Wellbutrin No medication worked yet. I tried Luvox (fluvoxamine), cymbalta, fluoxetine (Prozac) and sertraline (Zoloft). 

I’ve been in a very dark place during the last weeks and my doc just described me bupropion. He said it’s gonna help increase my mood and motivation. I’m also struggling with bulimia, I hope it’s true that this medication makes me less “hungry”.

I’m very close to falling off the deep end and hope that this med is finally gonna help :(

Who has experience with bupropion? I’d be very thankful if you shared some of your stories.",4.557403846153843,7.304761471153848,5.485230769230771,74.25976923076921,73.71153846153845,9.544615384615383,30.592307692307692,9.888512548439397,3.6036876923076933,459,21,79,14,10,150,76,104,0.084,0.6990000000000001,0.217,0.9363,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,0,2,3,7,0,1,3,0,4,4,0,2,1,16,13,6,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,7,8,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,1,8,5,7,8,3,12,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,4,5,40,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452889537148301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16091402661225104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3554346372515809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19902090662863184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435517496855274,0.0,0.0,0.3608972832519545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480929626615448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212724129128174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018048611194317,0.3660457717115903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898163086573228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172818717339143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18993075985582586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16726598577667612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334838954547818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4497136058418237,0.0,0.0,0.14573225913100055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13226476988049116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,chemkick,2019/08/19,"Need to quit Lithium Hello

I had a severe psychosis at the beginning of the year, was put on Lithium, Olanzapine and Ergenyl and I've been prescribed lithium since then. It was classified as ""psychotic mania"" (I was on LSD while all of this happened). 

Today, I'm getting:

* Neck twitches
* Blurred vision
* Migraines
* Head pressure
* Brain fog
* Memory problems
* Fatigue
* Lack of motivation

Due to this crap of medicine and need to get rid of it. I'm on a total of 168mg per day right now, was previously at max on 252mg and I literally was sedated to hell -- I could not think whatsoever. This medication is scary and is giving me PTSD. Everytime I wean off it, it feels like I've escaped from a weird, hazy dream. I was afraid of intoxity before and got my levels checked, they were up at 0.8, usually they're at 0.6! 

I can't do these brain zaps and head pressure everyday anymore. I just wanted to ask for advice if I should continue to wean off or just do it cold turkey. I'm a developer and I need my brain. I feel like I can't concentrate anymore and feel like I'm slowly getting fed poison and no one is listening to me. Fuck this shit!",1.1055455904334792,3.7118813856502255,3.1834394618834096,85.47850747384155,89.40358744394621,6.381405082212257,24.922122571001488,7.675431598112923,1.747987862481316,891,39,173,19,30,300,134,223,0.17300000000000001,0.757,0.07,-0.9757,0,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,1,2,3,14,5,3,6,0,18,16,8,1,2,31,41,15,0,9,5,0,3,3,0,1,6,1,0,0,10,10,1,0,5,1,1,1,4,11,0,1,11,5,17,3,28,28,3,25,1,1,0,1,5,13,4,3,14,102,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311228920639492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661486191147604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12544377366162746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418056177368476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4493806164530684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713487482467714,0.0,0.0,0.08653747380487121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20354213855611,0.28758287886757666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405079465506702,0.21031654904741529,0.12872136295558334,0.0,0.0,0.10731907199340283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865832348749215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754226566187217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966663339118126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13517609844035347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984868436315649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909264403323014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12839580962861005,0.15685372423910066,0.13489181752895882,0.0,0.1427210271560772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11459226322177388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15158954135931488,0.13773777991630384,0.11099825618851683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085979584337459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12719058731868588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477845385793669,0.0,0.0791451033640093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08640999133028593
bipolarreddit,justgetsthrownaway,2019/08/19,"Anyone else have symptoms much improved after leaving a spouse/SO I don't think I'm ""better."" I'm still on my meds and see my docs as appropriate, but after leaving my spouse of 15 years 9 months ago, my symptoms have been reduced to almost nothing, and my doctor was able to reduce my medications by 25%.

It certainly helped that I stopped drinking and using pot in that time frame, but I don't think I would have been able to do that in my old relationship. Only now can I look back and see what an emotional burden my ex-SO had been, and how her crazy-making had so severely impacted my emotional health. I don't ""blame"" her for my mental illness, but I *do* think having her in my life was detrimental to my mental health on so, so many levels. I still feel the occasional phantom twinge of anxiety before I remind myself I don't have to go home to her anymore. I can still sometimes feel my mind running on old tracks laid by her that are of no longer of use to me.

Has anyone else experienced this, where a not-so-great marriage, an unhealthy peer group or a toxic family kept your mental illness amped up, and being free of them completely changed your outlook and your experience of the disease? Did your doctor re-adjust your meds? What kind of stumbling blocks did you face? How did you avoid jumping ""out of the frying pan and into the fire?""",5.838409090909089,6.148153143939393,6.310151515151517,79.21022727272728,66.80303030303031,8.872727272727273,30.13636363636364,8.660442795831766,2.2374363636363643,1066,36,203,15,16,346,148,264,0.127,0.8240000000000001,0.05,-0.9711,0,1,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,7,1,1,11,6,0,1,9,0,27,12,1,4,1,31,41,18,0,1,4,1,3,0,0,1,10,0,1,0,8,10,1,4,5,1,1,3,5,2,0,0,11,7,39,5,30,28,1,28,0,0,3,0,18,11,0,2,14,138,47,2,0.2020055677952078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953287376596931,0.0,0.10113969825154427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943647415453643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726685322489027,0.0,0.1001676213687761,0.1412469898658064,0.2069785761197598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766490628748007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08594592989031448,0.0,0.0,0.08932875445325865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10684755287245354,0.0,0.10589949725825794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20676125834721226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894427605822488,0.0,0.0,0.16874973110458966,0.22722907456350736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09880010356656674,0.0952164356410917,0.0,0.10214008466544358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057402209699076626,0.0,0.0,0.11135592581825887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21472247236009415,0.0,0.0,0.06770003699925455,0.0,0.1013140275129212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051788567022124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138947289937122,0.0,0.0,0.07134125327406449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848169002728393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240096985837856,0.0,0.0,0.2243826469250252,0.1017496787450422,0.3053611501814431,0.0,0.10198401907945123,0.0,0.08061945848430084,0.0,0.07424866769400325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691489520989656,0.0,0.21197086240700952,0.0,0.0,0.07681716851388211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843919066935268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16097228378375206,0.0,0.0,0.11410439650486368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09989433590922717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24198286107372385,0.08444284994367847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20996113148970055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19415551682375895,0.0,0.0,0.05889553553356491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744679520454642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07174947976941666,0.0,0.0,0.06504248132370853
bipolarreddit,pinkpixie22,2019/08/19,"Trouble figuring out if I’m extraverted or introverted I’m having trouble understanding who I am. When I’m hypomanic, I’m extraverted, I can talk to strangers, be the first to initiate conversation etc. When I’m depressed, I’m completely closed off and I don’t talk to anyone. Part of this is because of delusions that people are trying to hurt, are after me etc. I’ve been introverted for most of my life and I do think I am an introvert. I also can’t tell if it’s my antidepressants that I’m taking are making me extraverted or it’s because they trigger an hypomanic episode. Does anyone else have this feeling?",5.599516806722686,6.6683388991596635,7.167552521008402,70.16880777310925,67.57142857142857,10.655882352941175,35.04306722689076,10.686352973137794,4.0862176470588265,495,24,88,14,8,171,70,119,0.11,0.875,0.015,-0.8879,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,3,4,0,0,3,0,14,1,0,2,0,15,26,9,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,1,1,11,0,11,24,4,7,0,2,0,0,6,3,0,5,4,60,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16322734386812204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28543805332083577,0.2091356492016998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488481149274717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21400630465662035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17580034464068864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17861874843294925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050839380956306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4552750227732021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320456018435632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17361655375194518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185048474461371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14416950389784794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362455530039156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22103212064191616,0.0,0.14150473818073356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15346592989990654,0.3281130807335185,0.17840184760780167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13078596770174586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13857784422783487,0.0,0.0,0.21248655528004567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sm0lkitt3n,2019/08/19,"Tips on being less shitty/not pushing people away? I know I could look up an article or talk to a professional but honestly... I wanna hear it from y'all first. I feel my moods have been declining and getting worse lately so I've been more aggressive and on edge or whatever and I hate it cause it's not who I am but it also feels like I can't control it?? Idk, I'm gonna talk to my psychiatrist about it when I get the chance but until then.. I just need to know how y'all cope with such difficult emotions cause I feel like I can't take it anymore...",2.420512820512819,3.5832153247863268,4.305641025641027,87.34769230769234,75.23931623931624,7.935042735042735,24.11111111111111,8.515128840125781,1.3517623931623937,431,13,97,8,9,147,79,117,0.135,0.773,0.092,-0.7836,0,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,2,0,2,8,7,2,0,3,0,8,0,0,4,0,23,22,14,0,3,7,0,3,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,8,4,0,1,5,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,2,5,15,3,12,17,2,10,0,0,1,0,6,4,0,2,7,65,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15208400560583868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886038958488535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786769965239864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3907271171877392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21329901377421573,0.15184038782858186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21392286313272746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28847671972730865,0.2717241292440773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16176395638349858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19871864897020927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18775983159008688,0.0,0.0,0.21434263459609015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20903196173865354,0.0,0.2145272729060476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18582117455754127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597002864467304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14101339759163298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318443765899835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14298899185702446,0.3057131876748681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19380600804379686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HolmesSquared,2019/08/19,"“You must like your new IPad a Lot!”         Cool so my extended family stopped in and they’re trying to purchase me things to get me to not have health issues [Recently got diagnosed so this is their solution]. They think happiness appreciation and gratitude can fix various mental health issues, which of course isn’t the case.

        I’m a big art fan, always drawing, never really enjoy digital mediums because I never found a device that worked for me. So my grandparents haul my ass to Best Buy and buy me an IPad and Apple Pencil. Which is great, I love tech, but then I got swept up in a manic cycle and checked my screen time.... 7 and a half hours of MediBang today, 9 hours total on the IPad. 

       My family is thrilled, and don’t get me wrong I’m excited too, but I’m hyper fixated. All the joints in my hands are aggravated due to my EDS and the slim pencil design but my brain is on GO GO GO mode. I got out of inpatient recently, have only seen my therapist twice and lost my main provider. So I have no coping skills for the swings I’m experiencing and it doesn’t help when my family is just seeing it as me being appreciative or productive.",4.315649999999998,5.4578196177777825,5.8374861111111125,78.25756250000002,70.6,9.713888888888887,26.50694444444445,9.978442167317967,2.524961111111112,894,28,175,23,16,304,139,225,0.08199999999999999,0.7709999999999999,0.146,0.9232,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,2,2,4,7,11,0,0,11,1,15,7,3,0,5,26,33,21,0,1,6,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,7,11,0,1,2,1,4,3,7,2,0,2,6,6,26,9,18,25,6,24,0,1,3,2,6,8,1,2,14,111,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091680136054351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997764538150756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13768517478162048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14646138754362614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13316414457172654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3710480030440072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438528465962157,0.0,0.0,0.13709204388920734,0.0,0.22369011332707267,0.0,0.3147952906001825,0.1446472751746589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396636925827021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2789166388535465,0.0,0.0,0.08793987216403777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584090212069029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738751769764807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06409716639580594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143219122186548,0.11154063214962527,0.1184121498595839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221765551430611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023773943018119,0.12671273685501194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978269257354357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404938926225881,0.0,0.2590862159280352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454855481136767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968817386755456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15233206112119854,0.08716273431458206,0.08406697192603728,0.0,0.0,0.07650314675472443,0.0,0.12436123779581602,0.0,0.0,0.08907545622049673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551437811565383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14344542574782734,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,potato_mafia,2019/08/26,"Just got rejected from my dream job because I’m bipolar So I recently got an offer for the Peace Corps which has always been my absolute dream, only to find out today I can’t do it because of my mental health history. I’m absolutely devastated and I feel like I’m spiraling. Does anyone have any advice for me as to how to deal with this? Thanks and much love to you all ❤️",1.3792307692307697,3.5532666025641038,3.945833333333337,84.13875,81.69230769230771,7.489743589743591,22.57051282051281,8.472884824447931,1.5972512820512823,297,10,61,7,8,104,61,78,0.087,0.711,0.20199999999999999,0.8394,1,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,5,3,0,1,1,9,13,5,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,8,3,11,10,2,3,0,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,3,36,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22970695959236576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19559645473804133,0.0,0.0,0.15985515718804272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643658917306216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865920772628281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423460844751938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057106929116392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885808053981765,0.16793352580842766,0.0,0.0,0.2148490443556772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3760127212852494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2498676302949979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332699680671854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11484296628394253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21215918422913546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23689452448813605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728029529964492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17878076431931442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321025345857137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164201914065621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22281817188331696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,elh10,2019/08/26,"Alcohol and bipolar So I overdid it at a wedding on alcohol and I feel like crap, it’s just not worth the day after, feeling like this really makes me want to completely give up drinking. I usually drink every weekend or so, but overdoing it makes me realise how much it affects my mood for even a few days after I can’t stop crying and feel so numb.. Anyone else relate?",3.385720720720723,5.081259013513517,5.165945945945946,79.99234234234235,73.72972972972974,8.176576576576577,29.90090090090089,8.841846274778883,2.64834954954955,293,13,54,6,6,100,57,74,0.136,0.7829999999999999,0.081,-0.7228,0,0,4,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,6,5,1,0,3,0,1,7,1,4,0,16,8,9,0,1,4,0,3,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,3,4,1,3,3,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,7,2,7,8,2,10,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,1,9,37,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4115724024538036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13464120081310454,0.1972986755882532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018936543695882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115161882624907,0.2483682737723633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3772675411977114,0.0,0.0,0.16085770361829674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12718290354097267,0.0,0.16223862482336487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29208970039445825,0.27512729476358583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847194129273534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881484622217177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570682450846666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14155246475116354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233577412979311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609873134613262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21207570040677828,0.0,0.11357584082231292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,abcdefg91234,2019/08/26,"Seroquel Help I am not bipolar so sorry if this doesn't belong here but I don't know where else to post it.

I have been on 100mg of seroquel for 4 years  now and it has been slowly ruining my life and I can't get off of it. I have had trouble sleeping my whole life. I've seen specialist after specialist and haven't found a fix. Sleep studies and brain scans have showed that my brain waves when I'm asleep vs awake are swapped (at least to my understanding). Seroquel felt like the biggest relief at the time to finally be able to get some sleep. After a while though I began to realize how artificial my sleep was. Seroquel knocks me out to the point that I can't resist sleep but I'm always tired/drowsy and feel like a zombie 24/7. I don't even remember what natural sleep feels like. Tapering off has been too hard for me and other medications don't work because I'm so use to being heavily sedated. 

Has anyone successfully gotten off this drug after being on it for so long? If so how? Did using another medication work?

I really don't see an end in sight and would love some insight from some one who has gotten off it or is in a similar situation",3.5678205128205107,5.015486722222222,4.961196581196584,82.64769230769235,72.80341880341881,8.447863247863248,25.82051282051281,8.998388855275968,1.9333435897435896,919,30,186,19,18,307,138,234,0.039,0.8340000000000001,0.127,0.9739,1,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,3,13,8,0,0,8,0,28,16,9,4,0,32,47,21,0,3,7,0,4,3,0,1,6,0,0,0,12,8,0,0,9,1,0,0,9,2,0,1,12,8,16,6,27,31,5,27,0,1,4,1,3,14,0,6,15,124,28,3,0.10939501619670093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910254169276876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147102128094152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649153888555196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06668618650567833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24424203435909114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686348816914134,0.0,0.09138549877046234,0.0,0.09689151418921248,0.0,0.0,0.0722543764689512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106268142830237,0.15630364285816184,0.10503637097824764,0.11983689305733827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11994598880384227,0.0,0.0,0.11430876169998082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799644714125112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733251734086747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060120639974875566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15453787026942276,0.16033463747400614,0.0,0.0,0.09681114687367832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873327318411357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22040793975753112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07412889414015636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341364989996432,0.0,0.10477018594093744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07008124859508957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12392322806694404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717366448827778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12296458167659564,0.6568441198145825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12245876433031637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748004798442387,0.0,0.06378911367571279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388406988322305,0.0,0.1889643404202404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221356288623642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592817493591059,0.0,0.0,0.0777110808097875,0.0,0.0,0.07044680377418297
bipolarreddit,wellsfargostillsucks,2019/08/26,"If you had a bad reaction to SSRIs it means you have a methylation disorder not that your bipolar. This happened to me and my doctors freaked out saying I was bipolar. . SSRIs make me manic. Am I manic not on SSRIs? No. 
Thankfully my therapist ordered a genetic test and it showed I have what’s called a methylation disorder. Now I take methylfolate and I’m fine. Mental health issues gone. Though the literature says it means your bipolar. 
Look up folate deficiency. It causes mental health disorders. Treat the deficiency treat the disorder. No need for drugs. Take methylfolate.",3.4882352941176467,6.71097409803922,4.6463137254902,73.86241176470591,87.43137254901958,8.60235294117647,28.368627450980398,8.841846274778883,3.660881568627452,466,22,70,15,15,152,65,102,0.127,0.746,0.127,-0.2556,1,0,5,0,0,0,15.0,0,4,0,0,2,6,0,0,7,0,5,7,0,2,0,12,16,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,7,4,0,0,2,1,0,1,4,2,0,0,3,3,12,4,6,13,0,6,0,0,1,0,7,3,0,1,1,47,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685366511266974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14290613927719073,0.0,0.0,0.14376875223831084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6415862213867536,0.14324630078868736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16229931999339015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237586581396197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29752382150946965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14607301594762634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11752402075290475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341871969918092,0.0,0.0,0.3048964452694462,0.0,0.0,0.2820764103664285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377227138239724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225901160669798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21045223675346664,0.0,0.0,0.1288485473750064,0.0,0.16249448992891025,0.0,0.0,0.13750164805079082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hilde19,2019/08/26,"Finally found meds that work for me! I was diagnosed with over eight years ago, and it’s been a rough eight years. 

I’ve ruined plenty of friendships and relationships, and spent the majority of the last decade in and out of depression and psychotic episodes with some hypomania thrown in for “fun.”

A couple of months ago, I found a psychiatrist who was willing to shake things up, and I am now taking a med combo which helps my energy level, keeps me out of depression (so far), and is keeping me out of psychosis. 

I’ve also started sleeping through the night for the first time in over a decade without any sleeping aids. 

So, this is good news :)",8.464617486338796,7.371984368852459,7.912131147540986,74.55240437158473,61.8688524590164,11.4120218579235,35.90710382513661,10.504223727775694,3.530798907103824,511,19,97,10,6,161,79,122,0.09300000000000001,0.777,0.13,0.5935,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,4,6,0,1,9,0,7,3,2,0,0,19,14,10,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,12,0,2,2,0,1,1,1,4,0,3,6,1,7,2,23,7,2,24,0,3,0,0,3,11,0,1,12,67,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885351586230903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13015068685401726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106752158356996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800791853934727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803517482051865,0.1651872792133452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17828408171255,0.0,0.13843461018577588,0.0,0.3568927718906233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13650652806563274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10908753451513606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893184014070673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132662534320935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3615559285632413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990506873865645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527293461832769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17473201610017858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3257339976635296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151949076603178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12236734184255828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812351159937172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949005207393894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15688467471558487,0.0,0.11848354748511987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20961063659177245
bipolarreddit,ktmaverick97,2019/03/01,feeling guilty starting to come down off a short manic/hypomanic episode (can never tell the difference) and feeling guilty about the weird shit I did all week. I also tend to feel guilty when I think about how other people have it so much worse why complain. i’ve never had a psychotic break or loss of reality (at least I don’t think I have) so I tend to start to feel resentment toward myself like why feel sorry for myself other ppl have it way worse I gotta stop complaining. anyone else ever feel like this?,4.0839,5.880804190000003,4.743000000000002,83.32150000000003,72.1,7.4,23.5,8.07648339933343,1.2847999999999995,409,11,77,6,8,131,69,100,0.3,0.628,0.07200000000000001,-0.9734,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,8,8,2,0,4,0,7,1,1,1,4,17,21,7,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,8,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,2,6,9,2,12,18,3,16,0,1,0,0,3,5,1,1,10,50,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13384638645910932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702957081070825,0.17149118684454812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14417514374711213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748668866778157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13981684582698067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513964913099279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5077663013840974,0.11956974919284832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16353785950755784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303681263227595,0.0,0.25817339312991017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11603385452155522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17180374433787968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18735793318303276,0.23693185954705395,0.0,0.0,0.13992950216256722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462894762241877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21448893012165468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13285116860394147,0.1342547783329239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020522692758084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411303344805037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,constantpsychosis,2019/03/01,If lithium doesn't work then what? I'm scared nothing will work. :( If nothing works I'm left living in a hospital at some near future.  I'm worried.  ,-0.218,2.0034065333333366,1.696666666666669,93.585,100.33333333333334,3.733333333333334,22.66666666666667,5.6839178017228535,0.4278666666666671,116,5,23,1,5,38,23,30,0.16699999999999998,0.754,0.079,-0.4007,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,5,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,3,2,11,1,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079669787337471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502896936039989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5439518200084777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837808013390559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6190603532585358,0.287855106971318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,NonbiasedWolf,2019/03/01,"Should I tell him? Hi everyone!  


I'm currently doing my honours in Zoology which entails a research project. I have two supervisors: One of the professors at my uni and a postdoc whose research I will be elaborating on.  


It's a lot of work so far (writing up, going through literature, making proposals, etc.). I started this year off on a really bad foot and I've just been in a really low place for the whole of it. I'm type 2, so I'm either down or I'm REALLY down.  


Anyway, it's definitely affecting my productivity at this point. I'm also scared that it's affecting my relationship with my supervisors because I can't get myself to talk to them when I'm in my down cycle (or, if I do, I always say the wrong thing or come off as defensive).  


I'm going to have to work with them through the whole year and i'm scared this keeps going on. I don't like to tell people that I'm bipolar but I wonder whether it will make things easier if I told my professor. He's an amazing guy and would understand. But I feel like giving this info would mess around with his perception of me or something.  


What would you guys do?",2.752987890079183,4.476679650442482,4.973726129483001,80.58927573358173,75.50442477876106,8.65170004657662,26.49650675360969,9.276330184999452,2.315791150442477,875,33,178,22,19,305,126,226,0.084,0.841,0.07400000000000001,0.4747,1,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,2,3,7,11,1,2,10,0,15,2,1,4,0,37,38,18,0,6,11,0,1,2,0,6,1,1,0,2,16,9,0,2,5,0,0,4,2,7,0,2,2,2,25,4,31,29,5,28,0,1,0,0,18,19,0,8,7,123,41,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061721162106176,0.11047110900368108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818899077623403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085322280076923,0.08093230690018158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436528487287445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14806806102512396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686263946422074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671299691442147,0.0948473368793999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936422869595958,0.12736027809338618,0.22636021373178605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26291643091006234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180076251557374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297245378363398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287204855697107,0.0,0.0,0.17724332631913475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996499462765585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204252884624672,0.0,0.13871115914973126,0.0,0.12550583096634535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551579607313166,0.0,0.0,0.1425399155973109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558005050945823,0.2658418362517443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220897722434012,0.0,0.0,0.09397174474154622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671147159635416,0.2320849098874984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764063227957405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686263946422074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969210576762538,0.13821303897840842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964547447226976,0.0,0.0,0.14397797055016573,0.193308990935196,0.0,0.0,0.2829373235088347,0.14515767705677785,0.0,0.17099260407411573
bipolarreddit,lupinthe7th,2019/03/01,"Been a hypomanic mess lately So the majority of the past month I’ve been feeling depressed and out of it. Not really talking to anyone and just hiding in my room and then after a few good news and change of events I started to feel better. I finally felt hopeful and felt like myself again only to realize that it was all a lie. That I wasn’t actually feeling better and just pivoting into a hypomanic state. I went from feeling good and organized to realizing I wasn’t eating or sleeping much, being incredibly impulsive, getting pulled over for speeding at my job, flipping out on friends and telling them off, and over all feeling like my skin is made of electricity if that makes any sense. I just can’t find a balance these days. Now I called out of work mid shift cause I wasn’t eating much and just feeling sick and shakey and now I’m worried that I might loose my job. I can’t seem to find a middle ground. I just wish I could breath for once. I hate not being able to trust my feelings and the days I feel good I only end up finding out that my good feelings weren’t good and just manic. I reached out to my parents and said that I need a therapist again.i wish this would all stop. ",4.7485504201680655,5.606012878151264,5.48183823529412,82.25452205882353,69.37815126050421,8.302941176470588,30.00105042016807,8.472884824447931,2.115419327731093,947,36,189,14,16,308,129,238,0.087,0.7140000000000001,0.19899999999999998,0.9715,4,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,3,10,15,1,0,10,0,15,6,3,3,3,63,39,19,0,7,10,1,12,2,1,2,1,1,1,0,10,21,2,1,17,0,0,2,8,3,0,0,12,13,26,12,29,22,7,36,0,1,0,0,7,17,0,5,18,126,36,3,0.09796384620270804,0.0,0.09559858243913742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06661877474126855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849859903781116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17328212203755114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003203998759128,0.0,0.0,0.10063585543356883,0.10363275974001217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821615980214686,0.0,0.0,0.12635715290791266,0.0,0.08437611718656242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200482942732772,0.0,0.0,0.08676689052554634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4458011771188923,0.06998539130131665,0.1881213102743515,0.10731460508009412,0.2686115419936848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568662456638475,0.0,0.051182066332271514,0.0,0.0,0.4108371316581474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671901660745104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973002034879953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19442800257348405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11050748552144887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572037381927324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926957599437097,0.0653916280420402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392415972282824,0.0,0.0,0.07819380740939176,0.0,0.14402939764720418,0.07263895066392001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10432829901181503,0.0,0.1490118389142733,0.0,0.0,0.108777257968533,0.0,0.09351757604073532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627581483851012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931860512338278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918260631819452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803459452084473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933931455942602,0.0,0.0,0.08190216195612325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07873962877319571,0.08562471951247344,0.0,0.0,0.11374357600413047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09081346688768724,0.0,0.0,0.2253071769397613,0.0,0.0,0.0713188467793486,0.0994870410971066,0.0,0.06959070562234466,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bipolarbpdthrowaway,2019/03/01,"I really just can't commit During a manic period I committed to a volunteer position that I didn't realize was actually a 2 year commitment and I have now (as of last week) committed to another year in this position because I can't say no.  We have a big event tomorrow and I just don't want to go.  I am one of 2 social media coordinators (and the better of the 2) so I'm supposed to be snapping pictures, tweeting, putting stuff on Instagram and Facebook during the event all day.  

I'm at a hotel and the bed is just so comfy, I don't see myself getting out of it at 5am.  I've struggled to get to my paid job for the last 2 weeks (well, really the last 3 months but it's been especially difficult the last 2 weeks leading up to this event).  Being around a bunch of professional people trying to network while helping... its giving me anxiety and I tried ALL DAY talking myself into it.  The topics the lecturers are talking about don't even interest me, so that doesn't help.  Usually at these events there's something I want to listen to, but it's just going to be 8 hours of blah.  I don't want to let anyone down, but doing *anything* is just so difficult right now.  

I even thought about telling the head of the board I'm on that I have lice, thinking that's embarrassing enough that she won't ask questions and I'll get to avoid going.  I just need some motivation or a good excuse to get out of going. ",3.2677272727272744,4.640857520979028,5.323356643356647,80.05118881118884,73.44055944055944,8.696503496503496,27.685314685314694,9.218907990703514,2.3793342657342658,1105,42,220,25,22,384,152,286,0.115,0.812,0.07400000000000001,-0.8747,1,1,1,0,0,0,30.0,1,0,0,3,19,9,0,3,18,0,23,1,1,2,6,40,45,17,0,4,10,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,14,12,0,1,5,1,1,6,10,5,1,1,5,3,21,4,38,35,5,43,0,0,1,0,14,14,0,3,23,149,35,5,0.0,0.0,0.11693740545751127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565285986204308,0.09167010110071944,0.0,0.0,0.08378836008426789,0.0,0.0986103951837848,0.1066746629425921,0.11202545961086467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304763754255984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598045099750067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15456168119915745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12381706967570368,0.0,0.15829399699496058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250426225583856,0.11495245579691275,0.2724100256136204,0.10050824398425713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298079368285075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16063988572644305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800902882803585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891340639754935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3907118159415071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122534934127737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564766263265416,0.0,0.0,0.08885289100602288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120033359712132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830754681681532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12046287683586306,0.1342377259422547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353313524587972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102334700085599,0.0,0.09529412365388493,0.0,0.0,0.0954894946085156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12215223284902185,0.0,0.09225147049234304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12527298858896016,0.13717739784554053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19263063657428406,0.10473724910293897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767826267610227,0.0,0.09513213204236527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627142586880282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197650528586913,0.0,0.21203762422402345,0.0,0.28836270094985195,0.0,0.107742124090551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15433398902455386
bipolarreddit,emmireese,2019/03/01,"Pm is open I love talking to people on here and man I’ve been on a down lately... coming back up! Got higher dosages and I feel so good.. I did before.. not like I ever didn’t. Anyway, I want a good conversation not talking about our hardships, but what is happy with our lives. A happy convo with some stranger ",0.3755952380952401,2.748182492063492,2.278075396825397,92.75616071428574,89.15873015873017,3.784920634920635,17.398809523809526,5.148860815047168,-0.5592523809523806,239,6,49,1,8,79,46,63,0.024,0.727,0.249,0.9386,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,2,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,0,1,13,10,4,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,1,7,6,8,6,1,9,0,0,0,1,7,5,0,1,4,35,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18310200504255555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026252633320996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051220101569456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21539602334416252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204022202011847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3994528036123303,0.1904488372225851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5069730453186031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686132868122921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633494376046476,0.0,0.21026710539746946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149154411819956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650846107527931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3827887384704384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14045120431588767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Lostsoul852,2019/03/13,Manic Episode Help During a manic episode I typically tell my boyfriend if I have thoughts of cheating or doing something that ik isn’t me or that I will regret. It helps me not doing anything stupid and not in my control and he likes that I do because it reassured him. Should I continue this or is there a better way to fight the mania?,5.925597014925373,6.127713164179107,6.2648880597014935,79.98001865671642,66.61194029850746,8.491044776119404,34.660447761194035,8.07648339933343,2.6258985074626864,270,12,51,3,4,87,49,67,0.11900000000000001,0.662,0.218,0.7562,0,0,1,0,1,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,1,7,3,0,3,0,8,0,0,1,0,12,9,6,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,10,3,3,6,0,3,0,1,0,0,7,1,0,4,2,39,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29575931127873256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21908967031174187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3178641068987877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4031027498226216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4818025714002981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755869028975066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27668717204119103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3141354073491031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853270570601469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852785931248232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cosmicpicklecat,2019/03/13,"Feeling guilty I have FMLA and i took a day today because it was impossible to get out of bed. I felt foggy and extremely apathetic. I'm going through a tough depressive episode after just having a mixed episode. 
My fiance never misses a day even when hes sick. I feel like a loser who can't suck it up and go to work. 
I work on the phones for mail order pharmacy. You have to be on your toes because of high call volume and doctors and nurses can be fucking ruthless. Ive tried moving departments but I have to get a note from my therapist who I can't get a hold of. 
I know the stress from my job is triggering these episodes. I was doing better with my old position before I got certified. Then they moved me to this other department and its 10 hours a day at a desk on the phones. 
Am I just being a baby? How do you guys handle work and being bipolar? ",2.8125892857142856,4.2625943011363665,4.666266233766238,83.99886363636367,74.73863636363636,7.528571428571428,25.07142857142857,8.192908349453996,1.5307496753246754,671,22,136,11,14,229,115,176,0.09300000000000001,0.847,0.061,-0.6394,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,3,1,5,5,9,2,1,13,0,19,5,1,2,1,20,34,11,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,1,1,8,9,0,1,4,0,0,7,3,7,0,0,5,3,22,2,20,25,0,25,0,3,0,1,12,7,2,0,11,95,30,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19640520986551924,0.0,0.13708080080733395,0.0,0.0,0.14247628958348554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16449699171863028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31168071057124763,0.0,0.13875171846750167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488854624261834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064023654499888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16290992043877767,0.11508698947603052,0.154677389475095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489306236363419,0.25249797792726536,0.0,0.1831090985623669,0.0,0.1288431594855415,0.0,0.0,0.15951033267120496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17020673164431316,0.0,0.0,0.15864707506449127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15986288759665207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853412925710864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870335115332244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3424390320120437,0.0,0.0,0.12424713934212304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690431158500305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18453488344713204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18704483165913469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527001382193141,0.0,0.17898354443558345,0.10937358551505127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3518393431594535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheeIggyPop,2019/03/13,"Reclaiming Life After Destructive Mania So I have sought help for mental illness since I was 15 but was always misdiagnosed for 19 years.  This resulted in a MASSIVE manic episode (2015) where I lost my job ended up on the street and in the psych ward.  Declared bankruptcy.  

Luckily my folks helped me get off the street I sought help got the right diagnosis.  Clawed my way back into working and have held down full time work for over three and a half years.  

Problem is I’m still depressed and traumatized by the whole thing.  I have a pretty serious drinking problem and get after it as soon as I get home from the office.  I would use weed but it causes mania for me.  I went to an outpatient rehab but the counselor was an idiot so did me no good.  

I also cannot seem to get back to a healthy diet or exercise regimen.  I’m just Blue and am like well got a decade shaved off life expectancy with the diagnosis so what’s the use 🤷‍♂️. 

Just don’t know how to overcome these three issues.  If I even want to or if it’s worth it.  ",1.6822266139657422,4.034361695652176,3.1858256477821705,88.98042490118576,81.80193236714976,6.468950373298199,21.96947738252086,7.686295010490155,1.013658937198068,809,26,166,14,22,265,132,207,0.139,0.72,0.14,0.0726,1,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,14,10,2,0,16,0,12,7,0,5,0,30,28,20,0,7,9,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,1,0,8,8,2,1,2,2,1,1,3,7,1,3,9,1,16,3,25,18,2,26,0,2,1,0,3,14,0,5,11,110,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11703530604713265,0.1217741579716108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22506681717928345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15034081841419272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12605024777489268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14336638228920984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962184577917396,0.0,0.0,0.09666218679624593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058454149317633,0.0,0.0,0.1227506644472212,0.2340974563288945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2942841093622402,0.0,0.14680005937007987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15275041637276984,0.14522887942672585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042962676535605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20674136589492306,0.07149876789392176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597573083333251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14748545052241874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14888962735312536,0.0,0.2800726085219436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12498131430374948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13323070554151342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106147093907077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11687456398089913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722782550595953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533732519771083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527972320040673,0.0,0.0,0.0863204788965234,0.11616508736327807,0.0,0.0,0.13158539833947971,0.1356670629578701,0.0,0.16339352089826673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21308774585299808,0.0,0.0,0.10396218715695013,0.0,0.0,0.1884880179830967
bipolarreddit,LosSedBoy,2019/03/13,"Peaks and Valleys My dad was recently diagnosed with liver cancer and cirrhosis of the liver.  It was pretty sudden.  Just months prior he appeared to be in solid health.  I was living about 4 states away over the past 19 years.  When I found out what was going on, I decided to move as close as I could to my parents.  I'm only 3 hours away now (I would be closer but my company doesn't have operations any closer than where I'm at...  Changing jobs is not an option for me at the moment).  He's experiencing delirium and is in pretty bad shape.  My family (wife and 2 young beautiful daughters) are still back at ""home"" until the kids finish school and they're all moving up.  We're in the process of listing the house and all that fun stuff too.  I've been fortunate enough to be able to stay at my sister and brother in law's home, rent free - they wouldn't accept any money.  So I cook for them,  make sure to buy my own groceries, buy some for them, help out around the house, etc.  So, all in all, I'm in about as comfortable a spot that I could ask for under the otherwise shitty circumstances.  Sorry about the long windedness...  But I guess I'm stuck in a bit of an ""episode."" It's understandable under these circumstances, but I don't think I've behaved like this before.  This is the second night in a row that I may not go to sleep.  It's 4:44; I get up in an hour.  Other days, I've not be able to get out of bed even when I when I went to sleep early. I've been sometimes sleeping till late in the afternoon, barely mustering the energy to shower, super low energy, depressed, etc...  I've definitely experienced all of those symptoms in my time, but not this intertwined.  These days seem to be in a  completely random order and far too many.  Anyway, I do know about hypomania, I do take my meds, I do therapy as well - intermittently.  I'm not in therapy currently.  I don't even think I want answers or explanations; I just want to bitch.  ",3.644216748768475,4.985960511688318,5.096157635467982,82.17142857142859,72.45454545454545,8.531124048365427,24.70443349753695,9.035553425615538,1.7945423197492163,1507,44,305,31,29,506,208,385,0.084,0.7759999999999999,0.139,0.9751,5,0,1,0,0,0,62.0,0,0,3,1,22,12,1,0,19,0,27,10,5,1,6,55,51,24,0,6,12,6,0,1,0,3,4,0,5,1,15,14,1,0,9,1,5,6,9,4,1,1,9,2,31,9,62,32,11,73,0,2,0,0,14,36,1,8,29,200,46,2,0.19737856513146526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342241926887963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878543848264412,0.09226115712508387,0.0,0.1854436592460608,0.07588596656718588,0.0824014286883001,0.0,0.0,0.08397731065431666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774313626169146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440017522266316,0.0,0.10347383512799574,0.0,0.0,0.1575907234174558,0.0,0.0,0.1272928457885085,0.0,0.0850009344630432,0.10016754441114066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197241019852647,0.22012927478896813,0.13036668074775049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303547248174927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10820770445706633,0.0,0.0,0.1031221537813403,0.0,0.11217478715503017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10871737107425157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490209244846747,0.0,0.0,0.06614934582301635,0.0,0.19798679409137135,0.0,0.1943781277702705,0.22774836360828266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09793388494037683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054237048750417474,0.0,0.11132580933672452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04821459847340436,0.0,0.08714444457701505,0.08733690950006201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587586244746481,0.1000554426262536,0.0,0.0,0.10962154502434543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787728437932914,0.20978217811739214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261320629259404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505764650063135,0.0,0.0,0.1095827692000663,0.0,0.09421008713407776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20080495961374492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744376056990037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09987882272585932,0.0,0.08984301633760777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962816643560047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760622393593064,0.11047457202176933,0.0,0.10518964418819912,0.0788133885391374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297561733377715,0.0,0.0,0.09301348087851817,0.10257595203719716,0.07420205845667473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22571959094035024,0.0,0.0,0.1264722147390921,0.0,0.0,0.05754651430226593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10273902361541024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641899161682367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873351713296204,0.09148595366404698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010603480085127,0.0,0.0,0.06355266231710409
bipolarreddit,QuerterPastmidnite,2019/03/13,"need to do this this is a repost and i apologize if its the wrong thing for this subreddit.  on r/bipolar i saw a post from someone planning on committing suicide [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/comments/b0dtx5/this_is_the_end_my_end/).  iv'e seen too many people go like this and feel obligated to do everything in my power to stop this.  if you see this i ask that you just run over there and comfort them, assuming its not too late.  please.",5.795388788426763,8.52065298734177,4.49497287522604,82.93696202531646,69.75949367088607,8.05858951175407,30.273056057866178,8.841846274778883,2.622857504520796,362,15,62,7,7,105,59,79,0.14800000000000002,0.755,0.09699999999999999,-0.7237,1,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,0,2,1,2,4,3,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,1,12,10,5,1,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,4,7,2,9,8,0,9,0,0,3,0,5,4,0,3,3,42,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26092447931244217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25084059731559305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411233228791696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15862118383540524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148413670537372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363560721970521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28296755734633233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20695201253075893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934955085273354,0.0,0.0,0.3063722795210304,0.0,0.0,0.2673043940473023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22240968032697786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364838369635404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23334336595612326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3052943768156624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854242357563766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051563107926635,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BrahbertFrost,2019/10/27,"Does anyone else have a problem with cuddling w/ a partner when hypersexual or just in general? Are you more sensitive to touch than before? This might be a little too specific but does anyone else feel like, completely overwhelmed with their feelings when it comes to physical touch? If it’s a person of the opposite sex, I’ll be totally paralyzed by physical touch and like, immediately fall in love. And I had a recent experience where I was platonically cuddling with a romantic partner and it was so fucking hard not to want to get sexual as every neuron in my brain was calling out for it to happen. And I ended up making them uncomfortable because they could feel how desperate I was for sex. So now I feel like a total asshole. But it’s just like, *really* not easy you know?

Does anyone else feel similarly or had similar issues in their romantic relationships? Is physical touch also more intense for you than before your bipolar really turned on? How did you manage to cope with the overwhelming feelings in a way that respected your partner’s needs and wants? 

This could totally just be a me thing but I wanted to get some perspective from other bipolar folks. Would love to hear any and all thoughts!",6.617503736920778,7.9432559820627855,7.352394618834079,68.82874140508224,65.41255605381166,10.969088191330345,33.700747384155456,10.93419730881044,4.136895007473843,976,42,160,28,15,324,128,223,0.062,0.77,0.168,0.9828,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,6,4,0,13,11,1,2,11,0,17,11,2,3,4,49,39,20,0,9,11,0,11,4,3,2,2,1,0,4,10,12,0,0,8,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,8,12,18,7,29,24,7,18,0,2,0,7,19,10,1,5,9,119,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933601295479336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07596796263367113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343347967163845,0.3433863093702094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680985731070216,0.0,0.19011729763663754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12470749119230252,0.11407039990544453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962299607056341,0.11712786321302805,0.0,0.0,0.17838581776010598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29327966342821765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799630206060166,0.0,0.09894363747883936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412214324178024,0.0,0.0,0.10927573138290267,0.0,0.0,0.3389095371081645,0.15961409113061198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327590564952996,0.11672977528466745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987865160807746,0.0,0.10007197246627116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259074963521721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165982611301265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06139397094211368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183072807875876,0.11196473033030822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20164880837657068,0.0,0.07456859984209965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185087344104034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283300182594558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754257334329347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689325737791804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14313108249120496,0.0,0.11030208211453793,0.11993683653357455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421646144513662,0.0,0.0,0.08868681680416217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151053209135344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19767182266840524,0.08867175299564027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935697023701245,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,xfxsher,2019/10/27,"when you FINALLY realize you’ve gone off the deep end again... My mum came to surprise me (we live about an hour away from eachother) today because she missed me. I wake up at 1:30pm to a text of her saying to come downstairs. Little does she know, i got home an hour ago from 23 straight hours of partying. She freaked out when she saw me because the last time we saw eachother is when i was “healthy” and she started to yell at me, then proceeded to cry. Apparently, i’m the skinniest she’s ever seen me (I used to be extremely anorexic... so that’s saying something) and i look like i’m dying. I don’t know how it got to this point, tbh. Everything is blacked out from my memory the past few months, but finally seeing my mama really slapped me in the face with reality. Anyways, idk why i’m even writing or posting this (lol) but i’m starting medication (yet again...) on wednesday. wish me luck lol.",2.063377028714108,4.363266286516858,3.447565543071163,87.95845193508117,79.95505617977528,6.876903870162297,26.742821473158553,7.984000788550335,1.7505570536828978,701,30,143,13,18,229,118,178,0.038,0.852,0.11,0.9153,1,0,1,0,1,0,33.0,2,1,0,0,12,5,0,0,8,2,5,3,2,2,1,21,26,11,1,1,3,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,4,9,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,8,9,26,3,23,17,1,41,0,1,6,0,14,13,0,2,25,84,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12866954925195778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13637620477621062,0.0,0.0,0.17696808071722256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16601658573355266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12503662467939358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15944396874820238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506460995906117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270245390426377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12856264694630895,0.0,0.0,0.09587231627078537,0.13129937498034022,0.0,0.0,0.13045433206003054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31801646000054906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321845399448565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456004895706018,0.0,0.4288399743283959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15954479968559765,0.11831922719681395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07091451906573007,0.1454816344201272,0.1281729304421778,0.0,0.12189212596460365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462265729890185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11585989534108652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13856514897534356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13721668685613891,0.0,0.13901663668213704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298885352428654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308632932424705,0.0,0.0,0.11566830330194405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174602099116243,0.0,0.0,0.205480356924348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08463999524760947,0.0,0.13758825646442674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12536575564010674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097818127805708,0.0,0.1669190106267998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,reapersm1n1on,2019/10/27,"Being sick is my biggest trigger I have been sick for 2 weeks today. I’ve gone to the doctor and feel a bit better but my emotions are all over the place. I can’t stop crying, feeling worthless, and have an irrational fear of leaving my house right now. 

I need to put gas in my car to go to work tomorrow but the act of getting in the car and going down the street is more than I can handle right now. 

I’ve been diagnosed since 2008 and am usually pretty stable but I guess we all have our bad days.",4.8591428571428565,4.403939438095237,5.732142857142858,85.13535714285716,68.9047619047619,8.523809523809524,27.97619047619048,7.793537801064563,1.4997619047619044,391,11,85,4,6,129,72,105,0.225,0.6859999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.9549,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,2,0,0,2,2,4,0,1,7,0,12,4,0,1,2,16,20,7,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,2,0,0,7,1,3,0,0,3,2,11,1,12,16,4,24,0,1,0,0,2,9,0,1,8,54,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16241363953775267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720345528799945,0.21236227543659014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136678821420848,0.1254474267056307,0.0,0.0,0.1974307449560368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19909647711073686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21880553738338787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188857976352273,0.19670736376089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162714760658853,0.0,0.22109708212872303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21428249726030155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.224446597718036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059655051222901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14423195251996532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032289511555091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978938038287341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19554339465477716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33223305256078844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16090654135639876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16262499150343024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18437945064452316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21423308604389846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15602987110124442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14161075330025388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Solidsnake2066,2019/10/27,"My girlfriend kicked me out our apartment and is cutting off all contact with me My girlfriend who is bipolar kicked me out. I have less than 24 hours to get my stuff out of the house and move out.

She wrote me a very long email explaining that she believes she doesn’t deserve me, and that she has to abandon me for my own good. Because i should have somebody better. It’s over. And there isn’t anything I can do about it. I went to sleep, we told each other we loved each other and when I woke up she was just gone.


I literally feel dead. I feel betrayed. Hurt. Angry. Lost. I feel like I just lost my other half. I don’t know what to do. I can’t afford to live on my own yet and I myself have schizophrenia.

She made so many promises that she broke and I literally have lost all hope.",0.3291717791411024,2.6453506748466253,1.5602791411042958,98.39219785276072,88.2638036809816,3.996196319018405,19.19294478527608,5.341637118332708,-0.4923813496932517,612,18,138,3,20,193,95,163,0.166,0.731,0.10300000000000001,-0.8785,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,3,0,0,4,7,13,1,0,2,0,16,3,1,1,2,30,33,9,1,2,2,0,3,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,11,16,0,1,5,0,0,3,4,7,0,1,10,3,36,6,18,22,7,16,0,6,0,1,19,9,0,1,5,104,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437250366163043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064672173858738,0.0,0.0,0.1967748058538996,0.0,0.15446692178689236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26493033345011713,0.1247725713103035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912493007827462,0.0,0.0,0.14649115866491516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17347043936560136,0.17199862101508906,0.20152681234467051,0.1869702979240601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598505449157596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532692999309906,0.0,0.15422233425447074,0.15456294563639514,0.0,0.0,0.5719651288649304,0.0,0.15763169870894925,0.16526146532414548,0.0,0.17707134392311086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18562914337963848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17477973914677053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19993659381989445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688900553201236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14410751648617467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16190564291331855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,scubajunky,2019/10/27,"painting I sold a painting for 10k in July. I haven't sold a painting in months now, and studio bills are racking up. This financial rollercoaster paired with bipolar mood swings is insane. 

I'm so sick of painting the shit that people buy- water, sunsets. I want to make the art I feel I am here to make, but no one buys it. Probably because it's shit. Or maybe it's because my attitude is shit. 

I'm going to get up and go paint now.",2.072837078651688,3.935951606741576,3.5981882022471936,89.08020365168541,77.87640449438202,6.247752808988763,25.73174157303371,7.1686216300943375,1.1773471910112354,339,13,70,4,8,112,62,89,0.076,0.764,0.16,0.8659,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,3,0,4,0,5,6,3,2,0,9,16,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,5,3,1,0,1,1,5,2,2,3,0,1,2,1,6,0,10,14,0,9,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,1,3,40,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821690841467909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702373648874018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12091859007446353,0.0,0.26306698623557384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089778913647205,0.0,0.2325140152249327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847343341536044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15683069661331786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16045234012130793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495329965267284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7127138782283958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13651014653986354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ValiantDisease,2019/01/08,"miserable (tw self-harm and suicide) I'm having a horrible depressive episode. It's been over a year that I've felt this empty and hollow inside - dissociating. Even in previous episodes, I don't think I've felt this much dissatisfaction with any of my hobbies.   

I have no interest in drawing or gaming, I just want to lay in bed and rot away. I can do little more than get up and take a shower every day, but I'm trying as hard as I can and it seems like it's only making me feel shittier. 

I cut myself tonight, and I can't stop fantasizing about dying. I'm not actively suicidal, but... Death sounds really comforting right now. 

On the bright side, it isn't a mixed episode. I just with I knew when it would be over. :/",2.4905448717948744,4.475873930555559,4.381388888888889,83.37942307692309,77.05555555555556,8.041880341880344,24.27136752136752,8.841846274778883,1.8237976495726496,562,19,115,13,13,191,101,144,0.19899999999999998,0.662,0.139,-0.7341,1,0,0,0,0,2,24.0,0,0,0,0,6,7,1,1,5,0,11,0,0,1,0,24,24,12,4,2,6,0,4,1,0,1,0,1,2,0,8,8,0,1,6,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,4,6,12,4,16,18,2,17,0,2,1,0,1,11,0,2,7,70,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13939876164765885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19259282500768615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13220019963663093,0.0,0.17655572763271413,0.0,0.2127450162156604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539253611669513,0.0,0.1727110976346278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036480119285612,0.0,0.3936409487209408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709768669562778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836288423938044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014670508936764,0.2054516695613112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13683097605122885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506896498085922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15590249067296622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13132046036811484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17505849672583254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18661323222394444,0.21384702501737585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17137901435880076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4484468557618281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15412534586145488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13134793187649998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391732887180901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209071400509828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14561748131239935,0.0,0.0,0.13200544922563154
bipolarreddit,BlueBoyBlitz,2019/01/08,"Anguish For the last three months I've been doing what I can to keep my anger and anxiety down to a minimum. Long story short I was asked to help an aquaintence with a project and when I divulged personal stories to them about things that I had guilt or fears about they decided to tell me it was my fault and then rub salt in the would be telling me I was a burden on them. I came home crushed and filled with rage and anger but mostly a feeling of guilt. Like I had done something wrong. Like maybe there was truth in their words. Logically I know there isn't. They never took the time to even listen to me and interrupted me constantly while never giving me a chance to think to respond, claiming that because I had to think I was about to lie and was unsure myself. 

Truth is, I just don't think of certain things that often. I had opened up to these people just to be kicked down, and for the last three months I've been filled with an uneasy rage and panic attacks whenever I think of them which has been daily. I've done everything I know to do to get them out of my head, but it only serves to strengthen the memory. I know that by giving them so much real estate in my head I'm giving them the power over me but I can't control it. I feel so hurt, and now it's starting to cause severe paranoia in my normal life making me laugh or at those I trust. I feel lost, helpless, useless and full of guilt but lost of all I feel like it is all my fault for not being able to cope. I have a history of trauma, bipolar, depression, and autism.

 I'm terrified of people and I don't know what to do anymore. I've resigned the idea of ever getting a job or of ever having a meaningful relationship. But know I wonder if having a standards life is out of the question as well. I feel like my troubles are so insignificant compared to others and that I'm just whining, but I also know that just because others have it worse it doesn't invalidate my pain but yet still I feel like a waste of breathe. I'm scared. I'm so scared for my future.",4.993237410071941,5.000057992805762,5.601530935251797,84.61127482014392,68.59232613908873,8.302695443645081,27.95098321342925,7.839951260653429,1.5219295731414868,1601,47,337,17,25,519,194,417,0.275,0.629,0.096,-0.9979,2,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,9,4,23,39,5,8,20,0,37,7,3,3,9,79,73,34,0,3,16,0,7,5,0,1,4,1,1,1,22,21,0,2,22,0,0,4,8,28,1,2,19,9,52,11,56,50,5,38,0,8,0,0,21,15,0,8,24,244,74,2,0.0896194965740282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166867903161805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06855866957978242,0.0,0.08887845912433852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378213155395177,0.10195511524355508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926242658686816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250082917438498,0.0,0.09206390980802266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968468378870838,0.10051588590824218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07718914107847576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18342372043969374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059192832265543366,0.16213193092843367,0.0,0.0,0.08054422482223847,0.0,0.0,0.1008468493489385,0.271885861394445,0.1920725587779236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364497610323293,0.25791356199245763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18395091742068104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600700594556603,0.0,0.08989566219085808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593952463701287,0.10116950310946296,0.0,0.0,0.08893352183454709,0.07965792632213038,0.0,0.0,0.2955151893886313,0.14610370212540505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660180158724468,0.21891779585221915,0.0,0.0,0.07931043430692418,0.0,0.0,0.19566053425425856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05982170986995964,0.0,0.09003482998766749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14306685429103722,0.0,0.06588064173334869,0.0,0.13824016124920946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780807862173269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815966555373057,0.09536146299908728,0.1051491696303811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426174955492544,0.07825228762331364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039434654822477,0.0,0.0,0.10200660730597373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621780016018937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17944950063637238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124452195313972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06899346687514407,0.0,0.0,0.06343314094411458,0.0,0.07157024573024204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15666278028981906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190784226483338,0.229698218911876,0.0,0.0,0.05225784915321618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957055822266997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08057869028891068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718852112275857,0.0,0.0,0.09132992341672526,0.06366311905721725,0.09798485079943348,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,slytherinqueen18,2019/01/08,"Symptoms for bipolar disorder? Hello all,
I'm 18 years old and I'm new to Reddit. When I was ten years old, I began to have depression. It wasn't severe, but I would often isolate myself from others and think about dying. Over time, my depression has gotten worse. However, at age 12 I began to have severe mood swings. Sometimes I would get very angry at everybody and everything around me for no reason. Sometimes it would last for a few days, and then I would go back to feeling ""stable"" or depressed. At age 15, I began to have three distinct and intense emotions that have taken over my life until this point. I rarely felt stable at that point. This feeling can occur for a week or less, I feel veryyyyyyy euphoric. I actually love life and everything around me. I feel very energetic and hyper like a five year old. I'm bouncing off the walls, and talk very fast because my thoughts race. Sometimes I can't sleep at night because my thoughts would never shut up. However, I have never done anything impulsive. I'm mostly abnormally energetic and euphoric. Then, I can switch to a depressive episode. These are always the longest, they can last for 4-6 months. At that moment, I'm extremely suicidal. I've never tried to commit suicide because I'm scared of failing but the craving is always there. I'm also hopeless, think that everybody hates me, and I feel so dead and emotionally tired. I sleep for 8-9 hours and I still feel tired. I can have a good day and still feel extremely miserable even though I know I shouldn't. Then, after my depressive episode, I can feel super angry and annoyed at everything and everybody for no reason. I just get super angry and lash out at anybody, and I don't know why. This lasts for a week or less. I have been to 4 therapists and none of them have really helped; I can't really afford one right now. My family aren't very supportive, it's taboo to talk about mental illness so they ignore my symptoms or brush them off as hormones since I'm a female. Could I be bipolar? Is it just hormones? your insight would be nice, I hope to a doctor soon to get a proper diagnosis but your insight will be helpful. 
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bipolarreddit,alphawolf9,2019/01/08,"Loss and depression go really well together I was doing well, on new medication, ping ponging a bit but never getting fully manic or fully depressed. Now, I knew I would be depressed for about two weeks after the end of the semester. The change in schedule always does it. But, during the second half of the semester, a good friend passed away. Afterwards, a good mutual friend started acting very strange, sometimes flat out mean. Our relationship was strained for about a month for reasons I don't fully know. He eventually blocked me online even though we had agreed that no matter what we would say goodbye as he was graduating. I was easily able to push it all away when I needed to during the semester. Now I just keep falling deeper and deeper as opposed to the normal brief depression. I can't think of my friend that passed without thinking of the one that blocked me and vice versa. They were my two go tos, the people I talked to every day and who made me feel secure. My world was turned upside down. Two of the very few people I would go to are gone. I don't know how to pull myself out this time and, honestly, I'm scared.",5.3378955453149,6.540471115207378,5.7672073732718925,79.48128725038406,68.2626728110599,8.551643625192012,27.83072196620584,8.841846274778883,2.143365837173579,900,29,164,15,15,289,134,217,0.155,0.6940000000000001,0.151,-0.2205,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,3,0,1,1,12,16,0,2,14,0,16,1,0,3,2,36,34,13,0,5,5,0,1,0,3,3,1,1,0,0,8,9,0,5,8,0,0,11,6,7,2,6,10,2,22,9,27,20,3,33,0,5,0,0,13,8,0,1,14,114,30,1,0.11436302727472995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951592001236775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148956574505172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485480601962763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12098091886040024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375469157500973,0.0,0.3940028312557579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007985584695707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10129169742053536,0.0,0.0,0.07553570093156102,0.0,0.0963557829158812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0578253828145942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650697735481041,0.0,0.05974996159116504,0.0,0.19498543169168045,0.19184456272193087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165111330547563,0.0,0.0,0.12570185787729268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082130615896668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245748633724619,0.0,0.11520871837860625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128347728376604,0.0,0.0,0.0847987356355554,0.08820381689126802,0.11045252438306384,0.0,0.0,0.11205148515941372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07749534701976611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15856984692853038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07326388370486903,0.11758423917371813,0.0,0.12278309212487977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094606948467164,0.11449734109341968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310795822974345,0.0,0.08094673932832487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09192066932894848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14655842020199733,0.11236109364461744,0.0,0.06668600088699833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439413350492474,0.33514818014884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18872294913355028,0.0,0.0,0.09173512220832404,0.0,0.205652191934836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024187723869436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24372064002125415,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,raisins666,2019/07/03,"This is a lot (suicide/self harm attempts) So I have just recently been struck with the idea that maybe I’m bipolar. My brother called me bipolar because my moods change very rapidly and they are very amplified beyond what is normally “reasonable”. I was just diagnosed with depression and anxiety after attempting suicide and being in the hospital for a couple of weeks. I was taking all of those stupid quizzes online for bipolar disorder and then I thought reddit so here I am. I have gone through very many changes in my life. In elementary school I used to try to gang myself with a chord on my window blinds and for someone my age I feel like I was very sexually interested. I don’t really have a very good memory compared to most people so I don’t really remember my childhood that much. I do remember one time bringing two pocket knives to school once and getting in trouble now that I think about it, it probably wasn’t the best idea but 5th grade me felt like a badass Indiana Jones. Middle school I was very shy and focused and very neat and precise. In high school for about the first 3 years I never even kissed anyone or tried any kind of illegal substance. Now senior year I drank myself about dead a number of times, went on my first date with this really nice guy then went and met another guy and gave him a blowjob for the first time. Then I gave the same guy a blowjob for weed even though weed makes me panic but I just wanted to escape. All the while my grades were tanking and I didn’t care at all even though I was a straight A student and am from an asian household. Then I tried to commit suicide for probably the third time that year. I have really bad sleeping problems before I would go to bed at 9 pm every night and then out of nowhere I just couldn’t do it anymore so in my head the best idea was to go to bed right when I got home from school for about 2-3 hours then stay up all night and it made me feel really good and hyper and happy and depressed me loved that. Now I’m on sleep meds so I can sleep but sometimes I end up sleeping well over 12 hours. I get really mad sometimes and I feel like it’s just my period or something but I scream about things a lot and I have really weird thoughts like weird sex thoughts sometimes or smashing things and hurting people. But then I also have weird happy moments where I’m super hyper, I just had a 15 min laughing fit cuz I wouldn’t give my brother a chip that I was eating and then I ate a like an apple because I thought it would be funny and then laughed so hard I spewed tomato all over myself. Am I just weird please let me know. And now in my head I feel like my mom and therapist know I’m bipolar and are somehow trying to keep it from me so I don’t get mad or my symptoms get worse. So there’s that happy first post to reddit me.",3.1019876819708863,4.814748324561403,3.8587346024636062,88.99805711086228,74.52631578947368,6.956326987681973,24.93467711832773,7.69321558396912,1.1818148562896609,2235,73,462,30,47,711,257,570,0.14400000000000002,0.688,0.168,0.9596,2,0,1,0,0,4,28.0,0,0,1,9,37,41,3,1,25,0,38,20,6,5,8,90,79,58,3,7,16,3,6,6,0,3,8,1,4,3,20,31,3,1,18,0,0,6,8,16,1,7,27,8,68,24,56,45,12,74,0,3,1,3,14,24,0,8,48,304,88,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04528242514571396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03850645968689418,0.059375506395451465,0.04331742771436629,0.0,0.056156081383734034,0.03959302092694085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047278917881595314,0.06903528459030428,0.0,0.04818310116152627,0.0,0.1188474001650558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057819732202217075,0.0,0.05773223860144192,0.0,0.11980198377015007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626537011059145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754083792743012,0.057472463548290324,0.0,0.0,0.06489634331464897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0579407860789365,0.0,0.0,0.050152314946576126,0.0,0.0,0.11219943073227677,0.0,0.04770840744881706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145237718263733,0.12135721465676788,0.05436819934364265,0.0,0.0,0.1926583723786164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833542010160532,0.05431917969743109,0.06436177909426381,0.09498753772950252,0.045287618330942615,0.0,0.0,0.16820085198234822,0.0,0.18083283244437007,0.05072424269349187,0.0,0.1162257175817705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05982667245077788,0.056798780849386825,0.0,0.1115270413040025,0.0,0.06061747476850116,0.19176579700438925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05033027167074367,0.0,0.058965485614083574,0.06223845908572606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05790217407670367,0.03999541139273534,0.16598261060795216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627989480185764,0.05110563348990685,0.05357927336972379,0.03779715401312186,0.0574081436552202,0.056886711245577565,0.0,0.06289682239448255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06631768538874593,0.0,0.0,0.04162536924289965,0.0,0.04367214408358984,0.0,0.0,0.10627612275078213,0.055479782815913405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060303022018987684,0.03837008510671455,0.0,0.0,0.06643640523667417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851230758995796,0.0,0.0,0.062156467687190714,0.0,0.0,0.054230418487011815,0.0,0.12210112586914328,0.05418179931811471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539247958462684,0.05821920202709816,0.0559096562692522,0.0,0.12828856717158654,0.048356835221102415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28653402816769385,0.0,0.0,0.05907148493045549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266607379975984,0.0,0.04797757810774192,0.0435921457117789,0.1680086153720304,0.0,0.0,0.06035396022537934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12387556796776825,0.0,0.0,0.058854319520817884,0.04257441993741276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657451662996892,0.07523732588491001,0.0362825593568988,0.11126615704366984,0.17981344859785986,0.13207231803519393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537767070000546,0.0,0.055313704586640006,0.0,0.0,0.04890520699222931,0.0,0.327046792409243,0.033398473983567344,0.0,0.04542059080670308,0.0,0.050912038015065504,0.10498257031351822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05770499019323533,0.08044854355357388,0.0,0.0,0.10939256093045444
bipolarreddit,susino23,2019/07/03,"How do you describe a mixed episode?  I need to track my moods, but have no idea what a mixed episode is. Does it come and go through one day? Is it over a couple days or a week? How would you explain a mixed episode?",0.06456521739130494,2.0739571956521736,0.567565217391305,107.3796086956522,85.73913043478261,3.68,22.243478260869566,3.1291,-0.7017600000000006,165,6,43,0,5,49,34,46,0.08800000000000001,0.912,0.0,-0.5803,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,0,5,0,0,2,0,10,9,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,3,8,0,6,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,27,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3017354247621508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3875784410218688,0.0,0.4518035745419611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3065326126766698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19907234179653152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3954237729634625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597283715695455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373589669091869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809736929250997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488290439559577,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,stacks-mcdietz,2019/07/03,"Unexpected struggle Hi friends. Has anyone on here experienced a long period of successfully managing your bipolar, only to have a period of depression come out of nowhere? I felt like I was doing everything right and suddenly I’m struggling so much on the same medications that were helping me before. Can you offer any advice? I’m trying my best to stay positive but I keep having bouts of tears and loneliness.",4.580945945945945,7.698272972972973,6.195878378378378,67.11652027027029,76.02702702702703,10.186486486486489,30.871621621621625,10.125756701596842,4.404302702702703,336,16,50,12,8,114,61,74,0.172,0.696,0.132,-0.4965,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,2,2,7,0,2,3,0,7,2,0,0,0,8,12,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,3,2,7,4,9,9,3,10,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,5,35,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22636842326528395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15753183946928173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16197701547955085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19711946044972636,0.0,0.2431053090361777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19954836481683166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19952220675474036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20819458868631172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224230043706578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17897436927457488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15527198068309522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20590364166819167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317385092266152,0.0,0.0,0.20500542758347864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233365812677256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17029145340135887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618238385525414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19783021511806084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24691104949323206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4843475822044046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572770368804663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,annikek,2019/07/03,"You guys give solid advice! Just wanted to quickly send out my appreciation for you guys always giving really good advice, like seeing your pdoc and staying on your meds, any time someone has a problem.
Even when someone asks if theyre bipolar, I have yet to see a post where people aren't supportive but also extremely aware of it being a psychiatrist job to diagnose, and encouraging someone to go see a doctor instead of asking the internet.

I think this is extremely healthy, and it's so good to see people being supportive and realistic and encouraging. You guys rock :)",8.205224358974355,8.668881894230772,8.870000000000006,62.34166666666668,61.78846153846154,11.548717948717947,36.56410256410256,11.20814326018867,4.549094871794873,463,20,70,12,6,156,74,104,0.047,0.6940000000000001,0.259,0.9783,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,5,0,0,9,8,0,0,5,0,6,3,0,0,0,12,19,10,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,3,3,6,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,4,8,7,10,17,0,11,0,0,4,0,15,3,0,1,5,48,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25685414996209865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051005954272423,0.10935620149797456,0.0,0.0,0.08937356662909958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24572943247912055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13339369788959995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345191465721672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680503115438867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25214984007364905,0.07469190622848111,0.2204662568626426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3903944993632368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13041912066118805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06420765948131152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14598364515305376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18222721617754192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258689050975652,0.0,0.0,0.12575605991350494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419427673352546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4189151180343452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33406815183073146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14008165719189322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982792649120796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421188970695538,0.0,0.0,0.07663502573177024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077517922035729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Maeflower2019,2019/07/03,"Any thoughts? All of my life I’ve struggled. My mother was a single mom who mentally, emotionally, and physically abused me until I was big enough to physically stop her from hurting me only for the mental and emotional abuse to double up. I had suicidal thoughts and tendencies and attempted suicide and self harmed but when my mother put me in therapy the doctor would never talk to me about anything specific and never gave me a formal diagnosis nor did the therapist I saw after that nor the one I saw as an adult. I’m still struggling, life has only gotten more confusing. Through my new therapist I have delved into my dissociation and my PTSD but it feels so arbitrary like that’s not really the issue because I’m doing all the things I should do to feel better with those and I’m still suffering. It feels like I spent so much of my life dissociating that now that I’m present I’m aware of the mental health problems underneath that but still no one will give me an answer for anything.  On top of my mental health being shit my life is mostly shit. My family is broken and I have no real connection with anyone. My employers are only doing things to benefit their sons who work there while pushing me out of my position as GM. Now I’m miserable in a job I used to love. Since I’m being pushed out my pay is shit and I don’t have insurance and I recently had to go to the er twice and the bills are stacking up while I still don’t have relief or use of my hand. I had to get staples and because I didn’t want to have to pay anymore I took them out myself. Im just at my wits end and unsure what to do.
I’m just always trying so hard to be a good person and take care of other people and make sure they are advocating for their self but I can’t seem to find an answer.",3.664631168564689,4.9682076371191135,5.281508156355802,81.01088847850622,72.35180055401663,8.561444547040116,25.55873602133989,9.049649993220411,1.9504428234328508,1411,44,281,29,27,479,188,361,0.16899999999999998,0.718,0.113,-0.9578,2,0,0,0,3,1,18.0,0,0,4,4,16,20,3,4,16,0,32,12,4,3,5,55,62,32,2,4,8,4,5,2,0,3,7,0,0,4,14,22,0,1,9,0,4,5,11,11,1,3,15,7,44,9,44,41,8,36,0,3,2,1,19,13,3,4,20,204,58,7,0.0,0.20086843826487927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053236242446498,0.0,0.0,0.057643999209020386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406540453697943,0.05927057656178389,0.0,0.13951090513408154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334551456238976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496891487770233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08642490489483154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08676191262215298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19070138448649587,0.0750777928331576,0.08758626019758373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07991013534472075,0.0,0.12858118351283493,0.06055707053280548,0.0,0.0,0.077474873884293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04428689964100814,0.08131557086716704,0.04817464879098747,0.07109796115078625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759339661313237,0.0,0.0,0.18020525251045252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09074409062845032,0.0,0.09156216339014736,0.08847400719127813,0.08411748542422919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23949181321096266,0.08282507707706686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650490646044346,0.0,0.05658217176421375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3416980226956812,0.0,0.0,0.09927728062193272,0.0,0.0,0.06231299296854216,0.0,0.1307540116375589,0.08186783275141138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148796941358021,0.1934058009443093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587662879606959,0.07401467441953573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110991304920505,0.09908728307627374,0.08521355659869696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648262124599816,0.05430347030428544,0.0,0.08369650723455854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07716806723074973,0.17685950140806014,0.0,0.2610342047357411,0.07011956958802386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707779463956183,0.07086843277066747,0.0,0.17723230897031395,0.0,0.1854411753252232,0.0,0.07989124629150518,0.0,0.06373371764509439,0.06813195103555313,0.0,0.0,0.09693766571420784,0.19684044417441346,0.11262994284760668,0.0,0.0,0.1345899671513308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09417849206016952,0.05755076192900375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464217555236081,0.0,0.0,0.04999736728709185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061710885006570064,0.0,0.0,0.060215556281682826,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,brooney93,2019/07/03,"A storms a brewing Does anyone else feel the mania coming on and you know its there like a wall of storm clouds and you cant stop it, just gotta warn your loved ones and hold on tight like those people in Twister till it passes?",1.130625000000002,3.2891258125,1.4289999999999985,101.916,82.54166666666666,3.84,13.766666666666666,3.1291,-1.5907133333333334,181,2,42,0,5,54,40,48,0.027999999999999997,0.757,0.215,0.8551,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,3,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,10,6,4,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,3,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,3,3,5,5,0,8,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,4,23,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518156431254742,0.3690021522462883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31022549509396946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3151576637215464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3008476294307221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18209571144386968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19792146740622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35188876607835096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250370308530535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440376468306292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249673133877712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3010900350671896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bluesnakes321,2019/09/28,"I don't know Without going into too much detail, I think I have bipolar. I first thought I did about 4 years ago. After these past few years of crazy episodes of me being self destructive and depressed and also having times where I am on cloud fucking 9 and everything is more than perfect. Now I'm reading all about it and it all makes sense. I just thought it was normal to have really high highs and low lows. I thought that's just what emotions were. But now I'm scared and confused. I think I'm depressed, I just want to be alone. 

I don't know if my thoughts and feelings are real. I feel detached from my life sometimes. I just want to run away. I keep fucking up my relationship. I had a couple of days where I felt like a psychopath. I was ruining my relationship and didn't care. I had no emotions, if anything I was trying not to laugh. 

I have been a vegetarian for 3 years and suddenly now I've decided to eat meat. Has my empathy gone? Does anyone else have drastic diet changes? I feel guilty for eating meat again because I still hold those values but I think I also just don't care. I don't care about anything right now.

When I suggested to my boyfriend I think I actually have bipolar, he was so supportive but just a bit too supportive in a way that I think he really thinks I have it. He said sometimes it's like speaking to a completely different person. 

I've booked an appointment with a dr to talk about it. I dont know if I have it or am I just making it up because sometimes I just am a horrible person? 

I feel embarrassed about it and dont really want to talk to anyone I know irl",2.629927916120576,4.411941183486242,4.048434906072522,86.83813073394501,76.00305810397553,7.240235910878113,26.663280908693753,8.07648339933343,1.6438345128877248,1265,49,262,21,28,418,159,327,0.134,0.792,0.07400000000000001,-0.9357,1,1,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,2,27,20,3,3,9,0,32,9,0,2,3,62,70,21,0,7,17,0,5,2,0,0,4,2,0,3,14,12,3,2,20,2,0,3,10,11,0,1,17,7,43,9,31,51,6,34,0,5,0,2,13,13,2,5,19,176,57,2,0.0,0.0,0.0816665932810738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418361534688653,0.0,0.0,0.08667465599667648,0.0,0.13384917854428632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11703201209088455,0.08574738210709942,0.13773479931853289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07862683887837357,0.0,0.0,0.10202982838539362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136470073487957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25597390226317684,0.0,0.08852991565718009,0.0,0.08774439197126803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259824754085262,0.0,0.053971293043255215,0.0,0.14415925150978395,0.0,0.0,0.08743526723290737,0.0,0.0,0.07323519510822585,0.0,0.19616144962913348,0.0,0.0,0.17126570840497318,0.06990988122907531,0.18827357543677226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521262059390532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16925896452571346,0.0,0.08035279468426798,0.0,0.0,0.0711842530506502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547348563854293,0.0,0.0,0.04756133993317843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17684015237272796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438499039486006,0.0,0.0,0.18396909166591105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05911071396056972,0.08177063548392784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11172365436896414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061519689612870375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199564546101057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988886082084809,0.0,0.14614479517574114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370980400147213,0.0952543061939977,0.16083640725014864,0.0,0.0,0.17969737529413604,0.0,0.0714683748774286,0.07960565053804355,0.0,0.08378544356790887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08730395631296077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483062146466964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683267173781292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899343882067433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13452913367658362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217401066602245,0.0,0.2657530190641396,0.048798654280786856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05681808628007778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14808256049498486,0.06642696996425278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067143303062964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16167535608219308
bipolarreddit,terpthrow101,2019/09/28,"crashing  Just started college. I picked this school over Harvard, Yale, Princeton, et al. because it was close by. And cheaper. I love it, I'm so glad with my choice. My family is confused (high expectations), but satisfied enough (I am making great friends). I need to be close to home because I need anchors.

I'm failing school. I'm unable to go to class, missed an assignment today, missed one yesterday, missed one the day before. I did well on the exams I've had, but that won't carry me.

I'm reading stories of cancer diagnoses, money problems, deaths in the family. I can't even formulate an insight there. My life is amazing. I'm just weak, I have brain fog, I can't write when I'm like this. I used to love hypomania because it took me out of lifelong depression and anxiety. But each time it gets worse, the fun part is more fleeting, and the fog is heavier. Also, I'm at my most suicidal.

I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'll never be the person I could have been. In clearheaded moments, I'm still the young high achiever I used to be. It's fleeting. The inbetween times, where I'm struggling to function but mentally cognizant, are the worst. My goals are crystal clear, but I see myself fading.

Right now it's peaceful, I'm happy, my mind is dulled. It's hard to type, and hard to write, but easier than talking. Writing is healthy, so I should probably extend this and make it beautiful, but it's hard, there's like no way in hell I'm going to be able to get myself to proofread this, and the more I write the more I'm getting sick in my stomach.

I'm really sorry for letting everyone down, especially since I have a weaker version of the disease than so many people, and don't have any other real impediments to success (other mental stuff, but still).",3.3829310344827586,5.2192010862068985,4.619885057471262,83.3136206896552,74.0574712643678,7.3287356321839106,28.37931034482759,8.104835398774808,1.9983827586206897,1390,57,264,22,29,458,191,348,0.198,0.631,0.17,-0.8655,0,0,0,0,0,0,63.0,0,0,0,4,15,24,1,2,16,0,28,9,2,5,3,47,62,20,2,6,10,0,3,2,1,2,5,0,1,1,18,14,0,0,1,1,1,4,6,12,1,2,5,4,27,12,32,49,10,35,1,6,1,2,9,15,1,2,17,163,45,12,0.10779527259670099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620384055022247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330448182316009,0.0,0.08246308848784042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19713299296620496,0.0,0.09172583748281404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033517425497227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285608249632056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860657537873036,0.0,0.0,0.06951903314446914,0.0,0.09284391033357836,0.10940993261298923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113813320850862,0.0,0.07119776090869248,0.0,0.0,0.10300300243106962,0.0,0.0,0.20323957894117428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832823602104761,0.0,0.16895574253791784,0.0,0.122525075119474,0.0,0.0,0.11884466858860508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475007212413735,0.2896901732919512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22778324773912376,0.10812744750379193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11022796958329056,0.07613898891999259,0.10532665048242512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19457888425390693,0.0,0.14390836300461518,0.10928748727600512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172645621175576,0.0,0.10884249634467154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15985765752302855,0.08313835959433934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460897329502133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11673177564959722,0.0,0.0747316693279552,0.09412267417394846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11622153574544733,0.10314551780548796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782444352836586,0.1226946196035503,0.06905641188115362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920565738142197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21818914156561034,0.08589887595857995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916936341760205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066798234305405,0.07629804876316817,0.0,0.17217088788111115,0.0,0.0,0.1126910237809978,0.12339979733020848,0.11791053234007808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664175690087435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257125806355112,0.0,0.1021773142512798,0.0,0.11976451415739035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862010107483298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556286993032583,0.0,0.0,0.09692089575624196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985259198381613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,raynazyn,2019/09/28,"Books for Newly Diagnosed? I'm newly diagnosed: first dr. appt was on the 7th, I wanted a second opinion because I'm in denial and got the same exact diagnosis yesterday lol.

So, since I guess I'm stuck in this ride, I may as well accept, embrace, and adapt. 

Are there any good books you've read that have helped you?

I've heard Touched with Fire is good.",2.9286384976525817,4.721377661971836,3.9827464788732416,87.58473004694841,75.19718309859155,6.986854460093897,23.10093896713615,7.793537801064563,1.0298713615023471,278,8,57,4,6,90,54,71,0.059000000000000004,0.726,0.215,0.89,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,3,4,0,0,3,1,5,3,0,0,1,10,13,4,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,1,2,4,3,4,4,6,8,1,6,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,3,2,28,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18415701793688205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16508051176282834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5497237391648129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23034700947783385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4542775895698855,0.21658788704817308,0.0,0.29832277555792325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815152100558554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27087877148889444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240130978339108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15972809296071608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434866558541275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Momentary_Apocalypse,2019/09/28,"DAE struggle with emotional regulation, even when you’re NOT in an episode? I don’t usually have trouble keeping my temper in check, but sometimes I’m flying into a rage, or screaming over small things, and I look like an unstable maniac. Sometimes I feel the urge to just run away, even when things are going well. Or I’ll get sad about things that happened a long time ago, and even start crying, sometimes in public. Sometimes I wake myself up because something struck me funny and I can’t stop laughing about it. 

To be clear, these things are happening in isolation, not during a full blown episode, and they pass as quickly as they come on. I don’t know what triggers them, and there doesn’t seem to be a pattern. 

I’ve been doing CBT, and my meds have prevented full swings. The only times I’ve  been unstable is when we made drug changes, so I don’t want to do that again.

If you have the same issues, how do you deal with them?",5.856870342771982,6.100781284153007,5.664302036761054,84.08351713859913,66.75956284153007,8.621758569299553,30.84401390958768,8.296473431620573,2.0742502732240435,737,26,147,9,11,229,118,183,0.205,0.6890000000000001,0.106,-0.9686,0,1,2,0,0,0,24.0,1,2,4,0,15,10,3,1,9,0,18,2,1,3,1,30,32,17,0,2,7,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,9,11,0,3,3,0,1,4,7,7,1,0,3,3,18,3,19,27,3,28,0,1,1,0,9,12,0,4,13,101,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123799217785025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12849953500285188,0.0,0.0,0.08337347457287894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14468409461795542,0.11781489414516197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502349759386122,0.0,0.14100344506941487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15860930665447484,0.0,0.0,0.15384738368010326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710050792363292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915481579471418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145646749675154,0.0,0.07772931167918294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418897991786125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14275192145798654,0.0,0.121567098630493,0.0,0.0,0.07516499159572854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681871474463237,0.0,0.0,0.12103678610496915,0.11485201199625167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294146960480954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15192018556139225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401943871202418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450990095398967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052919148127528,0.541074499506469,0.0,0.09680622202504888,0.0,0.0,0.11434550406264665,0.0,0.1429812746881097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3634545617548126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15950289934829814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15063238426099598,0.0,0.08067024965471031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12297228966587508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DepressoEspresso95,2019/09/28,"ECT encouragement Hey all. I've been in the biggest depressive episode of my life now for several months and it finally came to the point where they suggested ECT for me. I bit the bullet and am halfway through the treatment now (6 sessions) until they decide if another six sessions would help me. 

And... I feel like it hasn't done anything. I feel like I'm letting people down by not getting the results they're expecting to see. And right now I'm not sure if I even want to continue with the treatment for another two weeks. If anything, I feel off in the sense that I don't feel 'me'. 

Anyone here had good experiences with ECT? Particularly if it started working a bit later to the treatment.",4.672388059701493,6.212665791044773,5.4867462686567166,79.59220895522391,70.19402985074626,8.64358208955224,33.549253731343285,9.120678840339163,3.053763582089553,552,27,103,11,10,180,83,134,0.034,0.8540000000000001,0.111,0.8457,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,2,1,6,6,0,0,9,0,8,1,0,1,2,24,19,9,0,7,6,0,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,1,0,2,4,5,12,5,17,13,3,19,0,1,1,0,6,8,0,4,12,69,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441590511693865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11474678147915122,0.0,0.2700906296852336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35832265592397994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876936284704445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14134431969216393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16793748847779078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10839051309975803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605272282947935,0.0,0.0,0.3319078441672318,0.2344748218267117,0.0,0.17977018087405922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573864960126708,0.0,0.0,0.1376443875702516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999684112297684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16780957755679507,0.11591297213009988,0.16034787531464506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13098790132737614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377048772146943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15513328218938507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014568917027284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13077129281893218,0.0,0.0,0.18539315087696107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161551226948835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466803112253175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603077871910167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09679401334394784,0.0,0.13163599255454428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194711752019576,0.0,0.0,0.11657624540057002,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Indiana01,2019/09/28,"Family abandoned spouse Spouse (37F) was diagnosed with Bipolar 1, currently in manic episode with psychosis features. Was admitted for inpatient treatment, put on meds. Started out great, slowly started refusing meds. Now completely off the meds, but we go next week  to start the meds again. Her family has left this completely up to me. It was a fight to get them to help me convince her to get help. Her siblings, parents, everyone has abandoned us. We have several small children I also have to care for and no one else is willing to help. I have never felt no more alone in my life.",4.93911734164071,7.208217906542058,5.14760124610592,79.3322637590862,70.86915887850466,8.867705088265836,33.38421599169263,9.444778638647367,3.4757194184839046,464,23,79,11,9,146,75,107,0.151,0.687,0.162,0.3422,2,1,0,0,1,0,17.0,3,0,1,0,3,6,1,0,3,0,10,3,0,0,1,13,19,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,6,0,3,2,0,0,2,3,3,0,1,4,1,12,3,17,14,1,19,0,2,0,0,17,8,0,0,9,54,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14008055822733936,0.0,0.10816118871861108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378986998692026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836188564538405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13727820354070647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298591353568653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12923933682559952,0.0,0.0,0.25500759957603386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12986338630441924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14132745391306994,0.0,0.07686697998703737,0.0,0.0,0.1491161013867349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27197022987916963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14695198338180215,0.0,0.09553267577007396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6009391109172522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431488602413408,0.0,0.14384231991118468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09165043619068043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15018163601031473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359658848394493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15279656320814813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871967512744486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16269182352321684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849120995940344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cj375,2019/09/28,"Lithium halflife Hi all,
I was wondering how long it takes for lithium to leave your system after you stop taking it. Im supposed to start on lamotrigine but I have a few weeks in between. I was gonna take some caps at a festival about three weeks after I stop. Would it be safe to do so?",2.311,3.8810281000000018,3.84,88.905,76.33333333333334,6.8000000000000025,25.333333333333336,7.554174236665415,1.1577333333333333,226,8,49,3,5,75,46,60,0.091,0.775,0.134,0.6858,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,1,1,9,12,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,6,2,11,7,3,12,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,2,8,35,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725219839670769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671440646308921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22327320941578896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785757584822614,0.0,0.0,0.4218599732513074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5690835122875966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4047517951617388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736032556003545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17922318844348326,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Shinji-the-Sad,2019/09/28,"Recent diagnosis Hey guys and girls. Sorry if I am rambling. I just wanted to say I’ve just stumbled upon this subreddit and can’t thank everyone on here enough. I have recently been diagnosed with bipolar and have just gone a year sober from drugs and alcohol. I was struggling with coming to terms with the diagnosis and coping with it sober for the first time ever. Reading all these posts about how people feel with it eg the mania, depression, anxiety paranoia hearing voices suicide. It gives me a little hope to know I’m not alone so thank you. Sorry again if I’m rambling I haven’t been sleeping much",4.388695652173915,6.679667217391309,5.004565217391307,79.6651086956522,72.47826086956522,7.730434782608696,28.02173913043478,8.548686976883017,2.3164956521739133,490,19,84,9,10,157,80,115,0.146,0.775,0.079,-0.7878,0,1,2,0,0,1,9.0,0,1,0,1,9,5,0,1,5,0,8,5,1,1,2,24,20,9,1,4,6,0,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,2,5,11,1,0,2,1,0,2,3,2,0,1,4,4,7,3,13,16,4,14,0,1,0,0,7,3,0,3,8,58,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17770129102056695,0.0,0.17221451765307735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12720269976814444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14323431974254985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14321554368175438,0.1687693132167266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19283042528985797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17181027784430306,0.0,0.0,0.15040854394584746,0.0,0.15888636035489734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407547338685943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414365210065834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15950961705910924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646419897978757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18740810510831968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16515220192068553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09138238860023422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666548740789498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12223392814219824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11527666827683575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15924896756545806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663236312065657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3283601818396609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223144357062808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16639871828753827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37227063431839774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17383053105866622,0.0,0.1818818373140201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3061740516142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695840857340386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807544637367556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707798853816444
bipolarreddit,1_1_3_4,2019/09/28,"I lost it My mom's boyfriend is an alcoholic who mooches off of her hard. I started staying with my mom after a bad divorce that I still haven't recovered from yet and I am soooo damn thankful that I am lucky enough to have a parent who cares enough to take care of a 27 year old. 

Back to her boyfriend though. He is always super nice to me and since I've been here he has helped me through so many different aspects of my life. Lately though he has been very moody since he is going through a lot and has started to be really mean to my mom. She works very hard and provides for him and his son. He has already been pushing my buttons due to this and the disrespect is flagrant and uninspired. He doesn't have the mental faculties to advocate for his side of an argument so it turns into a spoiled rotten adult laughing at her as she tries to reason with him.

Today I was smoking with him and his son came home from school. His son is a failure in school and had to go back for a 5th year and still is tanking every class. I fucking love this kid as I never had a brother and him and I like the same things. He came into my room and we were talking about his school day. His father looked like he really wanted to get the smoking over with and go do whatever he was going to do so I asked his son to leave so we could smoke real quick; which I have done a multitude of times before without any drama.

My mom was venting to me. He doesn't like that she vents to me for some reason and goes around slamming doors even though he has been sleeping all day due to his bad habit of drinking all night and sleeping all day. I am listening to my mom and he comes in and let me preface this without sounding like a shitty tough guy; I am not a chump. Not in the slightest and I have had a bad history of fighting people when I am more on the manic side. He confronts me and postures on me. I'm 6'4 and he is like 5'9.. but he doesn't give a fuck and twists the story. He said I told his kid to ""Get the fuck out of the room so we could get high."" This guy is a fucking idiot as I would never say something so disrespectful in a serious way. If I ever do say something like that to his son it is in a playful way. Idk like brotherly teasing? 

I went berserk though.. I said sorry through my teeth and my body went rigid. I couldn't stop shaking and my mom rushed him out of my room. I remembered my breathing and I tried to focus on it to no avail.. The thoughts racing through my head just kept me spiraling down. I started beating up my room (my name is Kyle so no surprise there lol) and eventually went down the dark path. Thoughts like ""I am always going to be like this. I can't control this and no matter how much I try to normalize myself I will always have outbursts like this. I would be better off dead I can't do this for the rest of my life"" type of stuff. 

I love this guy. I just ruined a relationship with him and probably pushed him deeper into depression but I honest to God couldn't control myself.. I had to get this off my chest.. Thank you guys for being a sub where I can do such a thing..",2.1347235967764746,3.7887125925349916,3.3019584334794314,92.21196210943023,77.04043545878693,6.1071567934398425,23.821546726989965,6.823360437735567,0.6447899844479013,2419,78,531,23,55,781,276,643,0.10400000000000001,0.77,0.126,0.9606,2,0,5,0,3,0,51.0,3,1,0,7,31,46,9,2,33,1,63,17,7,5,6,87,107,47,1,9,9,15,2,10,0,3,3,6,6,7,24,45,2,5,6,3,0,15,17,22,0,0,25,10,90,24,82,70,11,75,0,3,1,6,84,30,5,4,37,368,114,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06187397654692148,0.0,0.0,0.0638904602835609,0.0,0.14452410468729188,0.0,0.0,0.039371748844135065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0515403476072664,0.05412560930532291,0.0,0.0,0.08903799401960004,0.14502400601815466,0.0,0.0,0.0492658367683912,0.0,0.0,0.0512049359549007,0.0,0.06431019404395087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13243682705283774,0.11805911095998685,0.0,0.0,0.04987289000302788,0.0,0.0,0.12987216889187195,0.09245162527359384,0.0,0.0,0.11201576676255999,0.0,0.04986635234908834,0.0,0.0,0.06048974031024214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059248436663696724,0.0,0.05671673527381865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196455584628037,0.0,0.03824023157989463,0.0523708897505132,0.04878047608380357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21409830554448228,0.12099456759955912,0.05553980079852918,0.16452017546315262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293073855994261,0.0,0.0,0.10372816196950124,0.0,0.059418728689517815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03880694497430976,0.06117105392355916,0.058075121744216036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06531001181341342,0.06130425732592501,0.0,0.0592033096216652,0.08178831837966061,0.28285408519713817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04861865558235716,0.0,0.06320109931016214,0.04922171328787032,0.10450808423553216,0.0,0.0,0.05869817770784685,0.0,0.06306649128354395,0.0,0.0,0.05834626723819805,0.0,0.0,0.4068475691010485,0.0,0.0,0.04256074426737348,0.0,0.08930702548742485,0.0,0.0,0.054332141244555855,0.05672648414621066,0.0,0.0,0.06075285892145362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428744595384643,0.0,0.0,0.04013828953298184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06242244678419796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06589913232333146,0.07418023119571154,0.11905492318718792,0.0,0.06215940037685048,0.06558568727590354,0.0,0.11014606075251596,0.09208357678513067,0.0,0.17578368747552886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578551525781423,0.0,0.11587704662842678,0.0,0.0,0.08914343341334217,0.0,0.06481062789312603,0.1229387701197256,0.061710190525547465,0.09247277638875782,0.04840424284072858,0.0,0.0,0.06627788243047282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043531121338871416,0.04653518321492413,0.0,0.10660702564428952,0.0,0.0,0.0769280043538571,0.0,0.22753289840698915,0.09192704282032822,0.033760037778247085,0.0,0.05487931234511012,0.05532278847139501,0.0,0.11792419899118163,0.06297499611102565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09554170002137682,0.034148980201001,0.09191142864653183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16101249342337187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162072671383803,0.0,0.042149495155911584,0.0,0.0,0.08225632471597506,0.0,0.0,0.07456716733403028
bipolarreddit,eyesour,2018/11/08,EDMR therapy after months of trying i’m finally going to be able to start edmr therapy soon. I feel like this is such a big accomplishment for me but part of me knows how disappointed i’ll be if it doesn’t work out very well. anyone have any edmr stories or comments?,3.985555555555553,5.3091773703703735,5.408333333333335,80.33250000000002,71.5925925925926,9.103703703703703,26.462962962962962,9.516144504307137,2.251274074074073,214,7,43,5,4,72,45,54,0.075,0.8370000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.0799,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,1,0,7,10,4,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,1,3,2,7,8,1,8,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,2,6,26,5,2,0.259909404868272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17674730798368696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817346990785642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13141800450522104,0.18567933077024826,0.0,0.28471804876184903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14771250440122466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142839411697448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126978606687495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20745720728549236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814565574857314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18396521451212824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5944581115922181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17646142500414372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144524789312073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336897688412694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189217142250174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PM_ME_YOUR_SOIL,2018/11/08,you always read about cool fun mania in books and great accomplishments but I never have that i just get really anxious and paranoid and talk my fiance to death. can't sleep very well. lots of ideas but no way I can accomplish them or write a book about it seriously. whats even the point? dr. appointment tomorrow at 9:45 don't worry. I have risperidone but I don't like to take it what does everyone else take for mania? probably going to switch me from lamictal to lithium whats that like? this has happened 5 times in the last year or so unfortunately.,2.886035353535352,5.412840583333335,3.9724242424242417,84.06954545454545,78.35185185185185,7.630976430976433,22.781144781144786,8.575989854853784,1.6356740740740738,445,14,86,10,11,144,81,108,0.231,0.662,0.106,-0.9474,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,1,2,6,7,0,0,3,1,7,2,1,0,1,13,12,9,1,0,6,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,1,3,0,1,5,1,1,0,0,1,9,6,12,12,1,11,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,3,7,54,17,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740035160701321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23624461522354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830011894018589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17469184586669426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138120933486527,0.0,0.0,0.19982188577446394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925589316015233,0.0,0.1188469801228148,0.0,0.0,0.23055411231831274,0.0,0.0,0.1849229816516652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360695657737817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17045965660900936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20432967413537834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17778524622484967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612852383157844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19768477090892664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254653349139115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20917529712630265,0.0,0.1339667982605128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20926972966339216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31446248448983705,0.16808169511691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219387995266098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17254483365603435,0.0,0.16598869565180438,0.0,0.0,0.18802283141137555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21237019745081406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346655908464389
bipolarreddit,cassiebxoxo,2018/11/08,"too manic to sleep So I’m pulling an all nighter. Usually even when manic I sleep 4-6 hours a night. I smoked a lot of weed and took my meds, but am still wide awake! Any tips? ",-1.9969230769230784,-0.1501282564102553,-0.04474358974358772,106.96057692307691,100.79487179487178,3.6256410256410256,14.192307692307693,5.46131890053228,-1.3128153846153845,134,3,36,1,6,43,34,39,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,2,0,1,4,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,2,2,2,8,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,5,18,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19799320150823915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19230301165673647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867258655050626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475268405314388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32340400368765104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732262321491953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5827241135289161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232514195928244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3234803520241066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3206625635362762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,KeikoKitty,2019/07/15,"Bipolar Type I peeps-- what's the difference? I'm diagnosed with Bipolar type II, so I have hypomania. I get super excited, happy, want to learn everything and anything, want to frivolously spend money, have sex, and do some pretty reckless things when I'm in that state. Sometimes when I'm super high, I start hearing things and hallucinate?

When I get my depression, it can range from moderate to severe. Some days I can at least manage to do something, just miserably, and other days I can't get myself out of bed and just sobbing constantly.

But I wanted to ask-- what's the difference between the types, like how does full blown mania compare to hypo? And then the lows of Bipolar Type I, how does it work?

Sorry, I'm really new to this info and want to learn more. Thanks for reading, though! (: and thanks if you comment",3.5794408602150547,6.10715408387097,4.427096774193547,81.72731182795698,75.90322580645163,7.2301075268817225,27.10752688172043,8.238735603445708,2.121378494623656,653,26,114,12,15,210,96,155,0.102,0.7020000000000001,0.196,0.9455,0,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,0,3,9,11,0,1,4,0,7,5,0,2,0,25,23,18,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,4,2,1,0,9,10,0,0,3,1,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,12,7,17,23,5,16,0,4,0,1,4,6,1,3,10,74,21,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12882504821721838,0.0,0.14635054660341526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16917196302722298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20192005108493846,0.0,0.13483391719878282,0.15889216365038064,0.0,0.3271171141322181,0.0,0.0,0.27399110719131475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14069457424692336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24536843092634605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16664745881286466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17644012847311644,0.0,0.0,0.16540076486749974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648107893639758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511943097423611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592648331968424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15658961410041447,0.0,0.10028817709394773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17685383331291707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051772140387496,0.15482923334195953,0.1752418298769479,0.11080494942963497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882553503794316,0.0,0.0,0.2080060738492176,0.0,0.15380687847909094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3693424966487505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139682626079744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,spaghettieyes6,2019/07/15,"Are these signs of hypomania? I'm going to a therapist tomorrow, I know I shouldn't self diagnose, but in the meantime I'm obsessed with figuring this out. 

Are these signs of hypomania? 

1. I'm in a great mood. Suspiciously great because I was crying my eyes out yesterday. But now I'm on top of the world. 
2. I love things intensely, like podcasts or websites or real people. I'm just obsessed with how great they are like I could cry. 
3. I feel pretty and stylish and like everyone who sees me thinks I look like I stepped out of a magazine. 
4. Music becomes AMAZING. It's like being high. I hear songs that connect with my soul and seem like they were written for me.
5. I drive too fast, usually because the music is so good. 
6. I can suddenly think of jokes I could post on fb that would be funny, I normally don't post at all. 
7. Sometimes I get real existential and can't stop thinking about how crazy huge the universe is and how everything randomly came together so I get to observe it. This sometimes leads to a panic attack.
8. This only last for a few hours.",0.8597686116700203,3.387513352112681,2.99932092555332,87.10811619718314,89.18779342723005,6.423138832997989,24.508551307847082,7.7094869923839395,1.6757875251509051,836,36,166,18,28,282,131,213,0.106,0.607,0.287,0.9946,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,2,2,9,18,1,3,9,0,16,3,1,4,1,40,36,14,0,5,5,0,1,6,0,2,1,2,0,1,11,12,0,1,7,2,0,5,3,4,0,0,4,6,21,13,22,26,2,28,1,0,3,1,6,12,0,4,15,98,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351732834251686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14486140221083246,0.13122578210864425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135896797332881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897339291870604,0.0,0.2610332529269152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059835354521853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11353624124183395,0.1067864746574858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06007824213261762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12415560382533745,0.0,0.06752733492525034,0.0996593842533578,0.0,0.39299369857334215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13391717064149689,0.0,0.0,0.12553834915377535,0.0,0.0,0.1170123631966042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529958200437445,0.09685299795741344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3482925269009393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977767863068357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072384038416862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641697692362972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036688123052787,0.0,0.13940799806282508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823738399557988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275907026712572,0.12088120785777368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27048310440670864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468302159213504,0.10816796909165922,0.12395368815360346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350292197265833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933764989331342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13795752469592834,0.07893778225846661,0.22840243748236666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13086187492003026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440530733052616,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sfw_account72,2019/07/15,Tips for using Daylio? I’ve been using Daylio for months and decided to pay for the premium version. What tips or advice do you have for taking full advantage of the app? Any tips on maintaining efficiency while still benefiting from all of the great features?,5.589893617021277,8.077907510638298,5.813776595744681,74.30875,69.63829787234042,9.806382978723407,28.77127659574468,10.125756701596842,3.3323659574468087,211,8,35,6,4,67,37,47,0.027000000000000003,0.799,0.174,0.8290000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,2,1,6,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,9,5,3,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,3,23,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578505755176265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24903146208854746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.403741501801306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923007554710894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29245120401744723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27534003725079564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6325658240226674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,count_saveahoe,2019/07/15,"Medication?? For the last year or so my therapist has insisted I seek a psychiatrist. I eventually did and the doctor also mentioned I should do medication 

I contemplated it for a long time and decided against it. I decided to do more natural stuff like eat healthy, workout, journal.. 

unfortunately this doesn’t last.The problem becomes when I get really depressed I can’t help but be destructive or not do anything toward my well being.

It’s been a few more months of mania, a week crash, then back to mania. I see the psychiatrist again this week and I have another chance to chose medication. 

My major fear is I’ve lived this way for as long as I know and I get a ton of shit done when I have the right energy. I’m in college for law and im a personal trainer. How is medication going to slow me down,? I tried Zoloft once and had really awful constipation for a week

What did you guys consider when going on medication? Do you think it’s really worth it? Am I gonna completely change as a person? Will I lose being super productive  ?",2.8097524752475245,5.2257889356435685,5.172762376237625,75.9656782178218,77.96039603960395,9.18851485148515,26.436633663366337,9.642632912329526,2.930205148514852,823,33,154,26,20,288,122,202,0.158,0.7290000000000001,0.113,-0.9259999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,2,9,9,2,1,12,1,22,9,1,1,0,18,31,19,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,3,7,0,0,3,10,6,1,0,4,1,1,2,3,6,1,0,5,1,21,3,19,20,5,24,0,2,1,0,7,5,1,2,17,108,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09317008583095523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12216706612596825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09587479888919274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958619147733453,0.0,0.0,0.12867210989916414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324826988247208,0.0,0.12215469112413165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100346748351906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11924918580230084,0.0,0.11922644597132866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11921508167277327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131102034202093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173951828143502,0.0,0.13242648694607573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153596033899588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780917504128316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584685035844204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402884293789148,0.1899364499412482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05691911754220123,0.0,0.10287724135595663,0.20620890663846345,0.0,0.13034080423995922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5868394515966899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299425686344877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12407546016573848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20345770154675968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148084221858758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22391085296471544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09949578613701776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284047665116256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11959209381367905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13337189660453394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527285182720064,0.0,0.0746525646223909,0.0,0.0,0.06793578947922657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910016382676475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247731753560186,0.2803630987299565,0.0,0.10475320030737104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502626945120039
bipolarreddit,fullclairity,2019/07/15,"Does medication slow the progression? So I've been told, however, I am also aware that every person with unique brain chemistry etc.   responds to medication differently so I guess my question is has anyone in this group experienced or been told this as well?",4.945333333333334,8.220361755555558,5.751111111111115,69.86000000000003,75.8888888888889,8.933333333333335,29.0,9.3871,3.4784666666666664,209,9,32,6,5,68,38,45,0.0,0.943,0.057,0.3527,2,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,1,0,5,3,1,0,0,4,8,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,3,1,4,4,1,2,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,3,1,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18882369158664955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650993812375366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635860732597949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466933322018143,0.0,0.0,0.2066286852829408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633342810402157,0.0,0.0,0.1989398223530948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260110889620349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4757286231128757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20616936189957813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26450649552647715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4512422425590644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122986773183995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,timefopanda,2019/07/15,"Crying spells on Wellbutrin but not depressed Doc has me on Wellbutrin 150XL now because I was being non compliant with my SSRI’s. I have searched around on the internet and the only things I can find are the people who experience crying spells claim Wellbutrin worsened their depression.
I do not feel depressed, I just can’t stop crying? I’m NOT a crier unless I’m having an episode so it’s very strange seeing me get so upset. It’s not over little things like dropping a plate, but I sit in bed and have an existential crisis and cry cry cry....feels like I’m healing all this random traumatic shit at once? I’m only on day 5, but it doesn’t appear that crying spells are an expected onset symptom. 

Is it possible the SSRI’s numbed me out so much that now I’m experiencing genuine emotions and purging them all at once? 

I’m not concerned yet, moreso annoyed because I have work tomorrow and I need to be stable when I arrive.",4.324065934065935,5.959565362637362,5.299780219780222,80.22021978021981,71.1978021978022,7.397802197802199,28.934065934065927,7.957251820313856,2.020852747252748,744,29,134,10,14,244,110,182,0.295,0.633,0.07200000000000001,-0.9947,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,1,9,9,2,1,9,0,15,4,1,0,2,27,26,13,0,2,10,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,1,0,10,8,0,1,2,0,0,1,7,7,0,0,1,3,15,2,13,23,3,21,0,3,1,0,3,11,1,2,9,86,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022705546978967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400636703182063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7571639150675794,0.07409026865069185,0.0,0.2968466309751679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12922832673989448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11237797883181788,0.0,0.0,0.11617696599558505,0.0820727014467835,0.0,0.0,0.1050013175668424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06002181843111251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122524217807142,0.11514331623076393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445249453393182,0.08518456209782432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446940762360606,0.0,0.17474795725000491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964566258734539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295137364966213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09154717073434987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792612689803728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604764024437988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940780797945685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15264681055356302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479081061328233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363646055859453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,snailman1,2019/06/26,"Might be hypo So I thought I was lovesick but now I’m afraid it’s hypomanic. Stressor 1: I have a final exam due Friday and am far behind. Stressor 2: I’ve been talking to an ex gf whom I broke up with not long ago. Stressor 3: I’ve been working a shit ton and have had little time to process this. Symptom 1: Just not hungry. Symptom 2: drinking and smoking more often. 

Taking to friends and they’ve been helpful. Just thought I’d through it out there to get some advice on how to cool off. Any tips? Thanks y’all.",-0.4347546728971956,1.8106331121495352,1.3545735981308409,97.26214077102804,96.38317757009348,3.0488317757009344,22.57535046728972,4.557286568694721,-0.14357897196261682,401,17,86,1,16,130,78,107,0.165,0.7120000000000001,0.12300000000000001,-0.7227,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,1,7,6,1,1,3,1,10,4,1,1,0,17,16,7,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,4,6,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,7,1,5,3,12,7,3,12,0,1,0,0,7,6,1,3,6,51,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22174503384228372,0.20115219117828168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15431438082428994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222966503419176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24858137815734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753189645411926,0.0,0.11855710204888438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15210067780072625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22743492698884266,0.0,0.2008183598296147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407278191860585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329316276368129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4717165872707353,0.17061670444429947,0.18239088166452172,0.0,0.20891880138400729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3603005990408293,0.132319733801484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16520153251993028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fendicrocs,2019/06/26,Does anyone have any coping mechanism to help curb the irritability and fits of rage during hypomania? Anything would help. Seriously.,6.965714285714284,11.051654142857153,7.930476190476193,50.67285714285717,79.0,10.41904761904762,30.809523809523807,9.725611199111238,5.0449238095238105,111,5,13,4,3,37,20,21,0.265,0.55,0.18600000000000005,-0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138072169459381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3226621145800725,0.0,0.379740558206136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4038249448698466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6186110476713743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32780647409781805,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bigoltrollmamma,2019/01/18,"Lamictical and depakote Okay! Sorry in advance on mobile. 

So June 1, 2018 I had my third child. I was diagnosed bipolar a few years ago and never really took eating healthy very seriously. After I had my third baby, I lost my mind. 

Anyways, we started working with a doctor and trying to find treatment. She started me off with lamictical (? Spelling) and I had never been happier! It worked wonderfully and it was the best two months of my mental health in a VERY long time (at least 10 years). While I was upping my doses slowly, I got the dreaded rash. So off of that. Since then I’ve been on at least 7 different kinds of medication and keep having to switch because of side effects ruining my life. (Everything from weight gain, to hallucinations). I still haven’t lost any of the weight that meds caused me to gain (at least 50 pounds). 

I went and saw my doctor today and she wants me to be on a mix of depakote (extended release because immediate didn’t work) and fluoxetine. 

I’m asking for any and all advice. Trying this many different meds in such a short amount of time is awful. It’s taking a toll on not just me, but my family. I need to get this crap figured out! I’m almost to a point where I don’t wanna be medicated at all because apparently?! None work for me. I’m so disappointed and discouraged. 

Has anyone had this cocktail of meds and had it work? 



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bipolarreddit,DoomCityRider,2019/01/18,"PSA: Steroids And Worsening Of Bipolar Symptoms Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, so please always consult with yours when you seek medical treatment.

I don't see this talked about enough. It's flu season and many of us may become sick and be prescribed steroids. 

Steroids have the chance of worsening bipolar symptoms and may send you into a mixed episode or manic episode or worse. 

If you are prescribed steroids, please mention your bipolar diagnosis with your doctor. 

I'm sure there are cases of bipolar people that have taken steroids and have come out fine afterwards. I'm sure there are cases where a bipolar person is required to take steroids as there are infinite personally specific medical conditions and situations. But ask yourself these questions: Have you disclosed your bipolar disorder to the practitioners prescribing steroids? Are you stable? Are you medicated? Do you have the resources to get emergency help should things go wrong? 

I was sick last year and prednisone almost made me kill myself. I had no idea that steroids could make my bipolar disorder worse. I spent over a week in hell as it left my system. Apparently, it even awakens bipolar disorder in otherwise stable bipolars. If anyone has any evidence to the contrary or input or experience, please post. 

These might not be the best links, but maybe you guys will find better ones. 

https://www.verywellmind.com/steroids-and-bipolar-disorder-379733

https://www.mdedge.com/psychiatry/article/62206/corticosteroid-induced-mania-prepare-unpredictable

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3896137/


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bipolarreddit,Loving-You,2019/01/18,"Is this me? /off my chest/ I'm not asking legit medical advice, all I'm wondering is some direction in why I am the way I am. and at the same time it's a bit of an / off my chest /. I've never felt quiet right, but I tried to accept it as I never wanted to be categorized as someone who's mentally ill. But lately I notice I'm getting worse and the only way to describe it for me when I found the word 'Manic depression'/'Bipolar'. It's as if I felt understood for the first time. A lot of my time I spend alone on my room, except when I go out to meet friends. So my family doesn't know much of my personality. Last summer I had a job at the same restaurant my sister works and she/coworkers noticed how  I'm often staring into space while smiling, and this is a big part of me. Whenever I experience this full on power high feeling, as described by people during manic depression, I get lost in my fantasies and I feel as if the world surrounding me no longer exist and build up whole scenario's and imagine people to be near me. For example I would imagine to be in a big house, while holding a conversation with a person I want to speak with and I would laugh at their jokes as if it were their jokes. most of the time my life is amazing in these deep daydreams, sometimes they could be described as another persons nightmare. I'm not even hating this. I feel a part of it is a coping mechanism which goes hand in hand with my natural creativity. And I love the force of energy I have during these moments. How I can smile as if I'm drunk just by staring and thinking about all the amazing things i can accomplish. by thinking how charming I am. And then the next second I could cry. I'm not sure if it's how I really feel, sad. Or if it's an overload of happiness that makes me sad in the moment. ButI really burst of energy in which I actually do accomplish a lot. I know it's not a healthy me, but it's the best version of myself if I want to get things done. I feel as if it isn't totally me, but more a phase. But I love who I am during this phase. Because the other part of me is depressed and has no energy. I hate admitting to this part, because while I know my life situation sucks and would had likely made anyone insane, and as I have experienced horrible things and have anxiety, I hate accepting that a big other side of me is useless by depression. As I feel like I'm constantly trying to fight it and these moments of feeling high/happy actually make me feel at times as if I'm on the right track. But now I read more about this subject, I feel I'm not winning any battle at all when feeling high on energy, is just another extreme on the spectrum. The weirdest thing I have done in these daydreams is travel to another country because I felt like i could(financielle it wasnt the greatest choice), like it could be amazing. I fell asleep in the airplane and once I woke up i was wondering what I was doing. I don't regret it and still had an okay time for a couple of days, but i do notice it isn't normal behaviour and cried one night wishing to be home again.   


I'm planning to upload soon a cover of me singing on the internet, but i'm slightly afraid of the attention among friends I will get, as it will likely impact my emotions. I'm not into getting attention as it will bring out either side of me, but I never know which one. Sigh, will be a rollercoaster. ",4.942453521321448,5.078699915820028,6.272878913539294,79.30782414126757,68.70972423802613,9.40660722924874,30.483136360494854,9.2995712137729,2.52610550832815,2658,97,536,49,42,903,281,689,0.134,0.6829999999999999,0.183,0.9887,2,1,0,0,1,0,65.0,0,0,3,9,18,39,6,1,40,1,53,12,5,7,8,122,113,64,0,21,29,1,15,5,2,7,4,2,2,3,43,26,1,1,31,7,1,4,16,15,1,4,17,20,77,23,88,79,24,82,0,8,2,2,19,45,1,17,36,396,120,5,0.0,0.0,0.12112688157378194,0.0,0.0,0.06064614929737385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427738914138575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042204205505941485,0.19523187233848985,0.04747716710679865,0.0,0.0,0.0433951083893174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05801947856823302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11349703510922893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651301124694157,0.0,0.06775549732954572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706684266647503,0.0,0.19820543953237574,0.06867028801616447,0.1363441184468801,0.04002477731827519,0.0,0.16036141478278146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12702169805865268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06981125990193429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04099128536509188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060708425818069324,0.058506415591797485,0.0,0.3138035047091639,0.044337018331031736,0.17876740760470786,0.0,0.0,0.052789802064527006,0.0,0.06804764632588327,0.09589770660468072,0.0,0.16212384977772587,0.0,0.03527119571247984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13213204719001526,0.0,0.18381976863519708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19671534589626136,0.06225312425359982,0.0,0.0,0.07161107508876198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061586838009179426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13643034124589387,0.05058871418630438,0.0700085020627516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767228020643945,0.15160149460357755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677478715524428,0.10552557932743496,0.11202653663086323,0.058724449937537976,0.08285357150361182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625208132493907,0.06254377631976353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045622621556817775,0.0,0.14359783985149652,0.0,0.06600351175732554,0.058240868693457966,0.06080746384962371,0.0,0.21197357971255826,0.0,0.06609387501767361,0.08410946995864216,0.047200855140168314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688278656944296,0.0,0.08605178432957977,0.16257011514749073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06207867322782424,0.0,0.07951685697925058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060010101101541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06976015161476685,0.0,0.0,0.052584828171717564,0.0,0.0613807846578288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04956269626053801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05849258592184638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16492461728155028,0.07953349146253783,0.0,0.0,0.21713268230812668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427188317271038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10981711154820063,0.09852366066590773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056001192150247715,0.06928987087852717,0.07136809731535555,0.0,0.13460691948924722,0.045181786630155416,0.0,0.06324635618637611,0.13226093332377845,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ligadeleyends,2019/01/18,League of Legends Does anyone here play LoL? If so I would love to play with you. I am on the NA server and my username is Summ0ner Name,0.6191954022988497,2.6303120689655195,2.421379310344829,94.91988505747128,83.48275862068967,5.2459770114942526,20.011494252873558,6.42735559955562,0.04402528735632138,106,3,24,1,3,35,27,29,0.0,0.6559999999999999,0.344,0.9017,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,5,4,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,4,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4358304535747808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5454597888459561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5625585242720593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44277911113530255,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Liberator-,2019/01/18,"Managing bipolar disorder without a doctor Hey there! 
My partner is struggling with bipolar disorder for a few years already. But she stopped visiting doctor almost half a year ago and her problems got worse. It seems she doesn't want to start visiting him again in spite of we spoke about it a lots of times and she told me she will.
In case you stopped with your therapy, what did make you to start with it again? I know that as long as she doesn't want to do anything, I can't force her. But I would appreciate an advise if there's at least some way how I can help.",2.8621052631578934,4.8137587192982485,3.4507368421052647,90.62715789473688,75.84210526315789,7.016140350877192,26.31228070175439,7.908726449838941,1.4283607017543871,450,17,95,7,10,141,79,114,0.201,0.754,0.045,-0.9386,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,3,0,0,6,3,1,1,5,0,9,4,0,2,0,23,19,8,0,5,4,0,0,0,1,2,4,1,0,1,5,6,0,2,2,0,0,2,4,3,0,1,4,1,18,0,16,13,4,17,0,0,0,0,20,3,0,5,11,68,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547288836069635,0.0,0.17478756059715292,0.0,0.19262131161038687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14364055750539925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4001010176027089,0.3573205832849629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13960433865403252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699782107325025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592863612317942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15447209618849353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14839697399487206,0.0,0.0,0.11651411320522542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670216836225814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15890462739075384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24709611881679144,0.0,0.0,0.2918648168164103,0.0,0.18247854993126206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19961422131235612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10178206148462154,0.0,0.0,0.16679091103755894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20590934318770052,0.13855041785036834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16826088501397252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778823283241615,0.12399598535305725,0.0,0.0,0.22481017527819847
bipolarreddit,rewritable2,2019/01/18,"Not Sleeping on New Meds I recently changed meds from Olanzapine to Vraylar because of side effect issues. I used to be on Seroquel until I got tardive dyskinesia. :( The past couple of weeks since I changed medications, I've noticed that I feel on edge and wired for no reason. I fall asleep eventually, but wake up 3-4 hours later feeling wide awake like someone gave me a shot of epinephrine. Minus feeling on edge, my mood is more or less fine (not up or down too much). Despite not really sleeping much (I usually need 8 hours to feel human in the morning), I am awake and fully functional during the day. Should I be worried that this is the start of a manic (or more likely hypomanic) episode, or is this likely just me adjusting to my new medication? I am also on other meds that help stabilize my mood (Lithium and Lamictal) so this is an adjunct medication.",6.426871165644172,6.985610613496935,7.4896993865030685,70.39724846625771,65.56441717791411,10.200981595092024,35.9319018404908,10.125756701596842,3.8100532515337417,682,32,118,15,10,231,104,163,0.039,0.883,0.077,0.7275,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,7,0,9,7,4,3,0,22,18,11,0,2,9,0,4,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,7,3,0,0,7,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,4,15,4,20,13,5,24,0,0,0,0,3,11,0,4,15,79,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10298611460735664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07850369881792317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27246643241918234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14249372072952046,0.0,0.083053087531962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26046216059817184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299792550236536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631918588651696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536466768419213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13441389968726392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887476664941473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4291399591814822,0.3891999099018244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18933769707025316,0.09548947548884873,0.0,0.2487549735431609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14661801555517973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229360309241619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825004025687456,0.13240831057563374,0.12715569560761736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652896926373076,0.0,0.2577479967702011,0.0,0.1091157185527858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115185059142987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11122543096998737,0.14183407116989208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330034567054812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307833508809057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,furyprawn,2019/01/18,"Not sure if I want kids because of this I was recently diagnosed with bipolar 2, and I'm still not totally sure what that means. I have really bad months, followed by a few weeks where I do really well and I'm really happy, followed by a few more bad months of depression and anxiety. 

When I met my wife four years ago, I didn't know I'd get this bad. I had a history of depression and anxiety disorder, but I was keeping it controlled without medication. Two years ago I had a breakdown and had to go back into therapy, which led to now. 

My wife and I always talked about having kids, but the worse I feel the less I feel like I'd make a good dad. I barely feel like getting up to go to work, let alone do all the chores that are already piled up around the house. I can't imagine putting a kid on top of all that. Not to mention, I'd hate to bring someone else into the world and they feel as bad as I do. It seems selfish of me to have a kid on a whim and then end up being a shitty dad. 

I don't know how to tell my wife. I love her, she makes me so happy, but I don't know if I can do this. She's not pregnant, but she's off the pill and we've decided to take a loose take on ""trying"". We already don't have a lot of sex. 

Am I right about this or is this just my chemically off balanced brain making itself feel worse? Am I the only one who thinks like this?",3.1135307760927766,3.2417894949152566,4.825263157894735,88.12189116859949,72.6949152542373,8.380017841213203,26.034790365744872,8.371475516178862,1.3733389830508478,1051,31,249,16,19,359,150,295,0.17600000000000002,0.726,0.098,-0.9632,2,1,0,0,0,0,30.0,1,0,1,3,12,18,1,0,18,0,25,7,1,6,5,54,55,22,0,3,13,5,5,3,0,0,4,0,1,4,15,14,0,2,13,0,0,7,10,8,1,3,7,5,33,10,34,46,8,36,0,2,0,2,21,15,0,5,17,166,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17840974691802766,0.0,0.0,0.10422519425796063,0.2221015149487,0.0,0.08373452117678973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539675780433252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958449535150595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773803838318673,0.3360966180512265,0.061344798899356436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112339445885486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286820181189085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17334970436185598,0.10214013716445587,0.0,0.0,0.11533386596627022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406576141393307,0.0,0.08913075952371738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544147457918696,0.1437841334285072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10515293145939136,0.0,0.1143838377367082,0.0844059879602458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142508970890111,0.0,0.0993540203918108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161166984509961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944702444597075,0.0,0.0,0.16591540597295862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290381927591216,0.0,0.14749225601027013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555437729738373,0.09082499848209097,0.0,0.20151945420344747,0.0,0.0,0.10961858150972,0.0,0.1013769226337145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16064822427624925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06819136528780756,0.0765357517136366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10116372278334736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19340377641697235,0.0,0.09936271403018496,0.0,0.0,0.08593983061422675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161228885003082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526581437779576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036545532893911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896903782742368,0.0,0.15132662926309673,0.08088480380778625,0.08795747131107608,0.0,0.1150823358747929,0.0,0.0,0.06448141180301639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832304105289726,0.0,0.0983035879227013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059355811516566874,0.0,0.0807215332119739,0.0,0.09048094035174653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700639341456213,0.0,0.07326185072781181,0.0,0.20510676764215274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296084012919737
bipolarreddit,JessieSourApple,2019/10/17,"That voice Does anybody else have a voice in their head? Kinda like you’re own personal thought voice. So it sounds like you, or maybe it doesn’t for some people? Anyways that voice never shuts up about bad things. It never stops trying to make me believe that my boyfriend doesn’t really love me, I’m ugly, I’m worthless, I’m fat. Does anybody relate?",1.9955434782608703,4.629051652173917,2.309981884057972,93.86323369565218,83.20289855072463,4.6094202898550725,20.219202898550726,5.985473137389443,0.02521594202898569,280,8,55,2,8,85,49,69,0.128,0.728,0.14400000000000002,-0.2237,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,1,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,3,3,2,1,2,8,9,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,0,1,7,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,5,5,3,5,8,2,6,0,1,0,1,4,3,0,3,5,28,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20700412572446086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793226710206256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4339156113323572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20710662958471068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544390198921859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422438776370418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223758864504196,0.0,0.1654895495060574,0.0,0.24907050445235984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3824247427649103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17187757587823208,0.21647552125726865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588248834760265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20727350413996684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16470805133121447,0.0,0.0,0.19682200539000733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683224480150622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pixelpreset,2019/10/17,"But why mania? Is telling yourself everything’s okay when it’s clearly mania not just an extension of trying to normalise and get through dysthymia?

Example: No don’t worry about that deadline, just drink and don’t sleep and the possibilities widen! It’s not like it’ll feel any worse than usual.

Like it’s surviving++ ?",3.0932627118644045,6.1982277118644085,3.486250000000002,83.20361228813563,85.4406779661017,6.339830508474578,27.71398305084745,7.645422480735847,2.197252542372881,261,12,44,5,8,81,45,59,0.17600000000000002,0.7120000000000001,0.11199999999999999,-0.6177,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,2,1,4,2,1,0,1,10,6,5,0,0,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,5,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,25,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022306212024461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913221013474899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26726864323342464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036576789463546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15537033079637474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29057260110805483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3352546225377929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29759774217220664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599258284851935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20190351979873156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32752533383128035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683418806457047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020068471808409,0.30305865842117063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,delightfullycheeky1,2019/10/17,Latuda? I've been taking Depakote for Bipolar disorder for awhile now and I was wondering if anyone has tried Latuda? I read on webmd (I will also talk to my doctor) that Latuda will help people with the depressive phase of Bipolar whereas Depakote helps more so with the manic phase of Bipolar. Help Please and Thank You in advance.,4.346448087431693,7.121759737704918,4.624180327868854,80.01747267759565,74.57377049180326,6.033879781420765,26.560109289617486,7.1686216300943375,1.7048666666666663,268,10,41,3,6,84,45,61,0.076,0.7340000000000001,0.18899999999999997,0.782,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,3,2,0,0,2,0,5,4,0,0,0,6,8,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,5,1,9,4,1,4,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,2,1,29,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088837768453941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826390640811545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249735803391988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2993610269635105,0.2673521237419189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5252361727871413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18108512613298053,0.0,0.0,0.2867222257661701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612734752500519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19639199104092966,0.20994490846879574,0.0,0.2404804353906895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773395486530126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832632836609691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gperk69,2019/10/17,"Seroquel / Quentiapine sleeping problems Hey everyone! Hope you’re all great. I have been on Seroquel for about two years now and generally has really helped my bipolar. One massive side effect is finding it incredibly hard to wake up in the morning. Wanted to see if this was common with other people on the medication and if so, what ways you find are good with dealing with it? I often find myself not taking it nights before I need to be up early. It’s literally the only way I can get myself out of bed. It’s definitely not healthy so would love to hear from you all :)",3.5522727272727286,5.830645136363637,5.112727272727274,77.99909090909094,74.9090909090909,7.309090909090909,26.45454545454545,8.238735603445708,1.9680181818181817,455,17,81,8,10,153,83,110,0.055,0.779,0.16699999999999998,0.9405,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,0,1,5,5,0,0,3,0,9,5,2,1,2,23,17,6,0,7,4,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,8,6,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,3,9,4,17,13,2,14,0,0,1,1,7,7,0,4,5,60,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15810496224872025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19155509096585133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.177543059379756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5094626759652547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707457945229793,0.0,0.0,0.15584303111246825,0.0,0.20484884473454493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664433023782444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094138745401023,0.0,0.12454006615164145,0.0,0.0,0.18454464641777507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16769477386960924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871773234327088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377708266364029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17436385340914526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590515577111352,0.14131181713247826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12881264518401342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17778870868109373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903038111314625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480612105960151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859375307965452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13970099256169558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18150287060581885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959162737647073,0.29496409499146725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198936592793006,0.0,0.0,0.11965126292044358
bipolarreddit,throwmeaway666373,2019/10/17,"on the cusp of mania? this may be a ramble. i’m (21F) diagnosed with bipolar, however usually when i’m having an episode on the higher end of the spectrum i tend to stay within hypomania. yet these last few days i’ve felt incredibly full of energy, happy, and confident. i was barely getting any sleep but last night i literally accidentally pulled an all nighter and i still feel on top of the world!! the other day i had two hookups one after the other. i nailed 2 job interviews in one day. my friends who know me thought i was fun at first (especially bc i was literally sleeping all day and having random crying fits like a week ago) but now they’re say they worry because my high won’t come down regardless of what happens around me. tbh i don’t wanna do anything about this bc i feel so good BUT i worry a little bc i found that i do get overstimulated and the  understimulated and also i have bouts of irritability that are getting hard to push down! anyways whatever tips u may have i would love to hear them. i’m currently on lithium and a bunch of other stuff also can take zyprexa in crisis situations. seeing my therapist next week. are there any ways i can stay feeling like this without freaking loved ones out lol..... i do not want to go back to depression but i also am taking the constructive criticism and trying to figure something out",2.9518203170874955,5.410838732824431,4.688854961832063,79.39394597768646,77.70229007633588,7.54221961244862,26.107457428068123,8.502166056373571,2.1039836758661186,1076,42,199,23,26,363,165,262,0.141,0.723,0.136,-0.5478,3,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,2,2,14,10,0,0,14,1,22,6,2,0,2,35,46,16,0,4,6,0,5,2,1,4,2,2,0,0,12,12,0,0,8,0,0,4,4,2,0,5,7,8,25,8,31,34,5,47,0,1,1,2,9,19,0,3,23,137,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980501741064863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26536726200743704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15043884750473352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102361074311603,0.09846743822233743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505320183686299,0.0,0.06742757407052302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09528177327717947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12150123309577482,0.2853403493425433,0.0,0.09526928313954368,0.1122680616416852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796871124489867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677850715069623,0.07902067885838601,0.10620411895395558,0.0,0.0,0.0940858486421741,0.0,0.12127949532463572,0.08545795547510215,0.0,0.1733693940298773,0.0,0.06286290630861853,0.09277544481843357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781313801887193,0.11774770226931867,0.09908592835342536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12466688579477493,0.0,0.0,0.11686682866617165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097645699106614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06078903469353416,0.18032581747955406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807811143345213,0.11086150271854332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19966189220552086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176362890972952,0.10380113852261552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22485907932263055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796248307707742,0.0,0.0,0.08814282278357255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433164757957085,0.2213822075321602,0.0,0.0,0.08515392241279524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357936900063255,0.08833426450372144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266233853030869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663317459108514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842815371181215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878129546083685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509775879900953,0.0,0.1080510911272325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12182263362791113,0.0,0.0652413643757385,0.08779803922881572,0.17745130010667146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10662527051406316,0.0,0.0,0.2246621295938261,0.0,0.07857503827957192,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Utertoq,2019/10/17,"LITHIUM Hello,

I've been on lithium for like 2 months now, and mentally i feel a lot better, can't complain about this to be honest.

On the other hand, i've been suffering from some very odd side effects.

First of all after i take one pill (i take 2x 300 mg per day),  like 30 mins to 1 hour, i start to feel my throat closing, like being pressed, and as well i feel a little nauseous. It depends, somedays i feel more or less nauseous, there's not a rule.

I also don't really feel hungry anymore, today i went to lunch on the work break, and the food felt like i was chewing  styrofoam or something that is not food.

I also take bupropion, 300 mg.

And last but not least, most times i feel mentally tired and kinda sleepy, kinda like a zombie.

I'd like to ask if anyone here takes lithium and can relate some of these side effects.",4.261363636363637,4.801362452380957,5.116363636363637,85.58318181818183,70.30952380952381,7.537662337662339,27.177489177489186,7.348242739294969,1.3444333333333334,644,20,132,6,11,210,108,168,0.047,0.812,0.14,0.8781,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,5,7,11,0,0,7,0,9,8,2,3,1,31,23,13,0,1,7,0,9,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,7,4,0,9,0,0,1,5,2,1,2,5,9,12,9,15,16,8,20,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,10,17,77,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21391889379145354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264358932428175,0.09352077777745442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250377511046666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11829058590624715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625737886383446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4057666716682264,0.0,0.12842051881717842,0.0,0.0,0.11376727771943447,0.3234609132963754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13171634042796032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090237142633612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3920595720703298,0.1340521614057146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370906330709385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695761261425174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675759488555622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063213966897277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856833706278835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10296691882835518,0.0,0.0,0.0946686022669392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4022519901492589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799042366781199,0.15372540374619542,0.12677891086813695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103573655864119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202568857322132,0.12398714974178544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737124721797684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,anxiousjackass,2019/10/17,"How do I seek motivation after my diagnosis I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder on Tuesday, and since then I've been thinking a lot about my life and how everything makes sense now. I've always struggled with what I thought to be a deep depression and anxiety, and that's what my other psychiatry thought too, so I've been taking antidepressants since 2013. 7 years taking the wrong medication to solve a disease I didn't had. I was always a smart girl, but right after I started taking meds for the depression my grades in school dropped a lot, and I thought it was normal and that was a result of lack of studying and depression. Yesterday, my therapist was explaining to me how my wrong diagnosis affected my life in many aspects, school being one of them. Apparently, the antidepressants were not good for me, they increased my mood swings and they made me had trouble focusing on things, like studying and paying attention to class. Now that I've got the correct diagnosis, my therapist says things are supposed to get better, and I don't get it. 
7 years taking the wrong medication and I dont know how I function without them, I don't know if I'm going to be a different person when I stop taking them and change my treatment. I am afraid, I am disappointed, and I am completely clueless on what am I supposed to do now. I feel like those 7 years were completely wasted, and my life made literally no progress because of it.",8.22163492063492,7.6435188777777805,8.40772486772487,69.13333333333337,62.074074074074076,12.010582010582011,38.915343915343904,11.35114627814755,4.503201058201057,1147,53,204,29,14,377,132,270,0.201,0.7240000000000001,0.076,-0.9889,2,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,5,3,11,16,0,2,12,0,24,7,0,10,1,45,47,23,0,3,4,0,1,2,0,0,7,1,0,2,13,16,0,1,10,0,1,2,7,10,0,1,18,2,36,5,24,26,4,24,0,4,0,0,9,7,0,3,16,142,49,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638815236977943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07533464375023304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06003067177834394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709491343980948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417561988453693,0.0,0.2065025445273262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544543154137401,0.09995209307921957,0.0,0.10288751656592733,0.11286318607234548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11541432328760486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850478750992803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049792935584512144,0.0703519962217276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290034735178896,0.0,0.05596675466476846,0.08259784448362617,0.15752212323201178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10824077952421003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20867167520543572,0.09622178646230092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674432660922366,0.0,0.18636265746526864,0.06573416942315045,0.0998402324151367,0.0,0.0,0.1093857589918377,0.19841045623142228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648656197540056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06673057115119954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598632743132369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409882918930299,0.0,0.07831287159887003,0.0,0.19932798481636013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16292240200270078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697025351319304,0.0,0.0,0.08233119057205447,0.0,0.10294955338281236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3702122826875629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286787994036072,0.13084750044795684,0.06310009221974511,0.0,0.23453923985763356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492832429077498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.323007456524734,0.0,0.19024789885869167
bipolarreddit,ChippiePusher,2019/10/17,"I’m impulsive but some of my decisions are actually very good ones Sharing an idea that I’m not sure is a good one but I have a good feeling that it is: I have decided to transfer all of my funds to my partner’s account. This is because I can’t be trusted. I get that this could seem like a bad idea because we aren’t married and he lives in another city but it’s actually all in the name of harm reduction because I will definitely spend it on drugs and clothes and definitely put myself into even more debt if it sits in my account. But, I must do it soon (immediately when I get paid because I currently have nothing) because I will change my mind. So yes, it is a pretty impulsive thing to do but it’s one of my better impulses. I feel, like, I’ve got a really good hold on this right now. 

Kind regards,",3.981006493506496,4.451371321428574,5.888982683982687,80.04389610389612,70.90476190476191,9.442424242424243,32.53463203463204,9.573946990214177,2.9022904761904758,634,29,135,14,11,221,95,168,0.079,0.633,0.289,0.9922,3,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,1,5,13,0,0,7,1,17,1,0,0,4,28,26,11,0,3,7,0,2,2,1,3,1,0,0,1,14,5,0,1,7,0,6,1,3,2,0,3,2,2,18,11,13,19,4,13,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,3,6,91,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.2662111991582446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430260846418871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388734044090446,0.4157373577299722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063369645065106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442918950185838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890338100849292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15817935955703644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009015249378714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379347114419039,0.09744336404644804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14252553653068326,0.0,0.0,0.4576195281852795,0.109090618772846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079553930436859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420384102532212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13327517442283784,0.0,0.1204426814566288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13772395323037134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13087837305976038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27728216768235137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13876666437580684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371185155471019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738059452495155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11648387066012478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417238815826118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285542997376383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061733359017493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254333419056692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,littlecherrybomb,2019/10/17,"breakdown I’m breaking down. I don’t know if I’m manic or depressive because I’m cycling rapidly. I feel more depressed. I’d rather not say my negative behaviors because I can’t deal with someone telling me I’m a bad person when I’m already on the edge of self-harming again. I’m 23, live with my mom. I took down everything off my walls today. My butterfly collection, pictures, because every time she comes home she tells me I spend money on “stupid shit.” I have a job starting in 3 weeks. I want to move out... but I’m 10k in credit card debt. I don’t have a car anymore. My job history isn’t stable. But I feel like I’m being broken down every day, she kicked me out for a week last week. Several of my fish died. I’m scared. I don’t know what to do. I can’t take this pain anymore,  I don’t feel creative. I don’t have room to make my art. She tells me I’m too skinny, always yells at me about having tattoos. I lived without her for three years but here I am in substantial debt, scared.",0.4500745341614909,2.5741366285714307,2.524202898550726,93.2276086956522,85.09523809523809,5.366459627329191,22.46376811594203,6.7026698264267655,0.5630848861283648,772,28,170,9,23,259,120,210,0.18899999999999997,0.722,0.08900000000000001,-0.9711,4,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,0,6,10,2,2,5,0,15,3,2,1,0,20,36,6,1,3,8,1,3,1,0,0,1,2,2,1,2,5,1,0,5,1,5,4,11,8,0,1,1,5,32,2,23,34,1,30,0,2,0,0,12,14,1,2,12,91,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13761641005185912,0.0,0.10376556147690183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24735011284796696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10412448113526787,0.2280592548456749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742336259070424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042519244476433,0.12856663256487091,0.2148185617134564,0.0,0.12942536333408095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101407305403584,0.0,0.11207790557643167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18916562899566133,0.08909014542030025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125090502279885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475033532137203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13707054960922796,0.1016522101200797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06092515784136309,0.0,0.22023574639043048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08324236734568267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460544126345834,0.0,0.1325429716184113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269620595679413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888865741450407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991713880731344,0.2497053542007409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300957803999961,0.1408825275386094,0.12800913834926125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566317188363808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882677013385076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376355433345901,0.0,0.3269961875370053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271719724099268,0.0,0.11820691097747416,0.0,0.13855319418993015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07355495705206165,0.0,0.3000954122374063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12021234179220973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803067142629887
bipolarreddit,timeformakingcoffee,2019/10/17,"Severe depressed state after flu shot? Anyone else? Hey everyone, I have been feeling depressed ... and not just a little. Like, 3-4 hour depression naps and suicidal thoughts and extreme sadness out of NOWHERE. Have a ridiculously consistent, good diet and exercise routine. I don’t drink a ton of caffeine or use any alcohol or pot, I’m sober from recreational substances. 

I had been doing really great managing my moods all year, and I was really surprised to suddenly (and I mean SUDDENLY) switch into this depressive state. It feels so out of character, given how well I have been managing over literally the past 9 to 12 months. 

I read that the flu shot increases inflammation (I have PCOS) and can lead to depression symptoms in some susceptible populations. Can’t imagine that bipolar/PCOS/hypothyroid puts me in a LOW risk category. 😂

Does anyone else get horrifically depressed after their flu shot? I think everyone thought it was seasonal depression for me, but holy shit, I’m thinking it may actually be caused by the vaccine’s inflammatory aspects. I found a few resources about this, but I wasn’t sure if it was just me. Not looking for medical advice on this, just curious if others had this experience, too.",6.245025752236379,8.462560382488482,7.006668473841149,67.56361615613989,67.29493087557603,11.188831661696938,36.72783952290594,11.088447113337141,4.989258823529413,981,52,154,33,17,324,142,217,0.18100000000000002,0.746,0.07400000000000001,-0.9625,0,0,2,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,1,1,8,19,2,1,8,0,19,10,1,4,2,38,33,15,1,2,11,0,2,1,0,1,7,0,0,0,11,10,3,0,9,4,0,3,5,12,1,0,13,3,16,6,20,18,5,23,0,9,1,0,2,9,1,6,10,100,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.1073972449621228,0.0,0.0,0.10754391209406527,0.0,0.117614712503017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484078411434081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15390522814728072,0.2255275316633317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305621215516096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.663528015443641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630937048906826,0.0,0.0,0.10781144005317377,0.0,0.0,0.1838727033412796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21032344206918732,0.0,0.10765434714632817,0.0,0.0,0.11129364985655668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206689984354164,0.0,0.0,0.0574988956458022,0.0,0.0,0.0923084316575857,0.0,0.12133539401365817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838144156868408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05376703384424791,0.11030344793473433,0.0,0.0,0.09241800055093842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988153428708485,0.0,0.11086825663361784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878443934481344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505940324695696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063509611630606,0.0,0.0,0.1100842090368041,0.0,0.14100736775621125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433017647578287,0.11296928753010113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038168030379195,0.0,0.103724994767409,0.11438868847642004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14103686571163132,0.0,0.1747418432750365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505168920575463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895214664991596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07087144254827023
bipolarreddit,bbb555bbb555,2018/12/28,"Have you tried Zyprexa or Seroquel just for short term, intermittently? I will discuss this with my doc. Years ago, i had used Seroquel just for one day to kind of ‘reset’ me, get me to sleep, and wipe my brain clear. This was at the advice of my doc. 
Now i want to try this perhaps with seroquel or zyprexa. I get anxiety and a fight/flight response and i want this one day med use to help with that (and any weird thoughts that may be building).
Can i do this every 2 weeks or so?  Has anyone done this?
Also, i am trying to get off benzos (ativan). I have had a dependency and got off of them at one point. Now i take about 1 mg every other night ",1.6413659147869666,3.4133229548872213,2.8392669172932337,94.44707080200504,78.84962406015038,5.335588972431078,20.8577694235589,5.985473137389443,-0.09592681704260644,495,13,113,3,12,159,83,133,0.027000000000000003,0.905,0.068,0.6174,0,0,0,0,1,0,20.0,0,1,1,0,7,2,0,0,3,0,13,2,2,3,1,21,23,10,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,9,8,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,6,0,16,1,18,14,1,15,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,5,9,76,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16694161292308346,0.1514382110681182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13661965689391672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116176183004652,0.0,0.13069114767639406,0.0,0.0,0.11945440017901318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19071250322549074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22035367322783825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17482731711589986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878779674736346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677685289710412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366353250296635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11450958805601705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17790222999886698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18976329707608774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603205590193739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34729419937654765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16149780353622914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17096209046284294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12844945087613974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356268550839572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3479648155054536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29509959230780075,0.0,0.0,0.20153019816109646,0.0,0.1370365105659123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001452986799777
bipolarreddit,L4r5man,2018/12/28,"Thank you for the people in the chat tonight I just needed to talk to someone. Anyone. About anything.

It may not have been much, but it helped me calm down.",0.981129032258064,3.521541225806456,1.1357258064516138,100.72358870967743,88.35483870967742,3.1,17.427419354838708,3.1291,-1.0666193548387095,122,3,26,0,4,36,28,31,0.0,0.856,0.14400000000000002,0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,5,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,6,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,1,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009598470951337,0.0,0.35419919218677826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28850162120959993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31640840909154383,0.31915116209744443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2983992069077204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36469368169569705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3459554935251681,0.0,0.3962731381080323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PrickleMeCactus,2018/11/13,"Finally free... medication started working So I've been bipolar depressive for 7 years now and its been a up and down journey. I haven't been taking any medication and improved my well being my continuously working on my thoughts and coping mechanisms as well as therapy. This worked well until I experienced my first psychosis in June. This was a situation which prompted my quest to seek medical help.

My therapist and psychiatrist recommended to start on Lamictal, and 3 month in I saw no improvement. My motivation and energy was still low, and the depression hasn't left. I decided to take on their recommendation, and add Wellbiutrin to the mix. I was worried since I'm a holistic and healthy person, as we'll as the fact that Lamictal hasn't kicked in and I'm just shoving pills in my body. 

But a month in, the medication has worked wonders. I have my energy back, I'm able to think clearly, I gained back interest I'm my old beloved hobbies, and my new motivation is helping me through grad school applications which I thought I would have to put off to the side till I got better.

For those who are seeking help and feel like they're at their wits ends, dont stop fighting. My journey has been long and being bipolar and depressive have led me to believe there is no version of me where I cant be successful and happy. 

I'm happy and excited to meet my new self :3",6.05069151324652,6.965807984732827,6.9045577009429735,73.01037943421645,66.48091603053436,10.744858554108667,36.02245172878312,10.718039707386858,4.0695569824876525,1100,54,202,30,17,366,150,262,0.07200000000000001,0.6920000000000001,0.23600000000000002,0.9912,0,0,0,0,2,0,25.0,1,0,2,10,11,16,1,0,9,0,25,8,1,3,2,33,41,25,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,2,7,0,0,2,8,18,0,1,8,0,1,4,7,5,3,1,11,3,30,12,31,25,1,41,0,4,1,0,11,16,0,1,22,134,38,9,0.10565686319924764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07185029010370901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16248721198254693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903910358101183,0.0,0.0934449093858198,0.0,0.11736095637956415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730063043589813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382905677826155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358062017606172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05342328466706926,0.07548128418078202,0.0,0.11574192916810322,0.0,0.08987167386244647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845034454385783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249473911139742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21245870475409534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11479649101379197,0.0,0.0,0.05161860642484772,0.0,0.0,0.09350299910374688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4257526960298906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686686003607327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20408811373484165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086910453017354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225549757038773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062143301366764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693038630835328,0.0,0.0,0.11022315122246013,0.0,0.0,0.08740044906631565,0.11876274108498724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14956894317063585,0.0,0.0843777074334533,0.08833386863572867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15888162393393834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12082783115527287,0.12267576167634615,0.0,0.0677006517009273,0.0,0.1677594947881154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849946266858608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11458036111955075,0.3076778191048786,0.10729967328502413,0.0,0.0750556041732458,0.0,0.0,0.06803955580398335
bipolarreddit,Fearless_Prince,2018/11/13,"Bipolar Affective? Not sure what that means, but after a hospital visit last Monday from completely breaking down, and hallucinations to the point I was actively a hazard to even drive to work or even work for that matter, plus delusions that had me thinking I was a God and just invincible.

Does that mean schizoaffective? It says *Bipolar Affective Disorder, current episode manic with psychotic symptoms* on the diagnosis sheet and under that says *Mood Problems* so I’m kinda confused right now. I know my grandfather is a diagnosed schizophrenic, kinda don’t want to believe that’s possible for me though... ",6.233076923076923,9.396631538461538,6.27946153846154,68.56553846153847,70.15384615384616,9.92923076923077,35.4,10.125756701596842,4.696283846153847,496,26,70,15,10,157,78,104,0.075,0.8079999999999999,0.11699999999999999,0.5432,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,6,4,0,1,6,0,5,5,0,2,1,22,11,8,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,8,5,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,3,2,6,1,13,8,0,13,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,4,5,50,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22493897680548366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20933089709352756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026421646139094,0.0,0.0,0.2288180229782248,0.0,0.17471645476607078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637359888929895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972329436312243,0.16274269572078212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4349582300495682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887352888106404,0.2250771732953052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19103961129617916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050136984033687,0.0,0.3175419209150209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18816926394974165,0.20751445071701616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279286794385786,0.19615667677665766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177596825503186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906974755908433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wasteoide,2018/11/13,"Coping strategies during a medication change Hello all,

I'm looking for some advice on coping strategies. I came off of lamictal because of the brain fog it's given me - it was affecting my work, severely. I still haven't recovered. I'll be going on a new medication (probably lithium) but my question is, what the hell do y'all do to cope with depression (and *anger* oh god anger) during these intermediary periods?",3.895263157894739,6.770410368421057,5.815000000000001,70.2925,76.89473684210526,9.06315789473684,30.552631578947373,9.516144504307137,3.75261052631579,332,16,52,10,8,114,60,76,0.17,0.7959999999999999,0.034,-0.9153,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,1,1,4,3,0,4,0,6,3,1,1,1,8,11,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,3,1,6,0,8,7,2,8,1,1,1,0,3,3,1,2,3,33,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396722551150991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495125998306617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737992938151297,0.0,0.2805203203587409,0.0,0.0,0.25946016105598163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21124826753070985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13939099373918726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20596266375262545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4941617720734762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368805761719992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26443950914791203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274755379861379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770821071558687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19587069121406228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17855743220695294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ariel_w19,2018/11/13,"Am I still me? (Being stable is boring as shit) So, I’ve been stable for what feels like a good month after being diagnosed with Bipolar I. I am content with how stable my emotions are and how things don’t seem so out of control. I’m no longer riddled with anxiety. There’s no more crying spells, unwanted thoughts, manic phases, deep depression, etc. But I’m bored with how normal everything seems. In the past few weeks I’ve been told that I seem more passive than usual. In some cases nonchalant. And in other situations people think I’m angry with them because I’m not doing much talking. I’m just meh...I’m known to be a very bubbly person but I can’t seem to replicate that on my meds. I think I see why Bipolar people never want to take their meds. Thoughts??? 

Also, I took up painting when I was manic. I’m very sad that I can’t seem to concentrate on painting unless I abuse a substance now. Has this happened to anyone else?? 
If it helps, I’m on Lamictal and Lexapro (yes, you can take antidepressants with Bipolar) ",2.5052985074626832,4.8623510099502525,3.769300995024878,85.93872761194031,78.70149253731344,6.0100497512437805,23.98034825870647,7.1686216300943375,1.1182455721393043,807,28,151,10,20,263,129,201,0.146,0.7859999999999999,0.068,-0.9356,0,0,0,0,1,0,33.0,0,1,2,1,11,7,1,0,4,1,16,5,1,4,1,36,40,15,0,4,6,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,8,10,0,1,11,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,7,2,17,2,25,30,6,19,0,2,1,0,7,9,1,7,10,97,25,0,0.0,0.14507205959343936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09791568348931144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936667046431915,0.0,0.0,0.08561329683631061,0.12545483831501927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463863799020247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373275160533816,0.0,0.0,0.13449522213143447,0.0,0.0,0.1054578877241126,0.12427460614215866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228338907491484,0.1377291666812021,0.0,0.0,0.13655360668757413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004169368193516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061909633583387476,0.08747157115399645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269734504967573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827379599391336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206933640076833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05981828017058024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720077528641157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977308987123407,0.0,0.09000791072470328,0.0,0.09443371956400473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996576677989372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11688338315602954,0.16976975582151274,0.10691038722589882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756928573904737,0.5573265040895788,0.0,0.0,0.12568349058871076,0.0,0.13762833621614587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778120125645083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18412014877375935,0.09841309611630733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134407735697782,0.15690995288968174,0.0,0.19440827940833133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699721636663622,0.1360359838568228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13485099494839642,0.20205259456899916,0.07221862338595429,0.0,0.09821444366143048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11048357440966036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,iamnotjulie,2018/11/13,"What's the point... I've never posted about this. I don't discuss this with friends or family. They wouldn't understand. My brain has been shitting out dark thoughts about dying, but in no way am I suicidal. I just can't find the point of existing. I can't believe how emo I sound, but it's how I feel.

Give me some thing, some thought that could make me feel like a normal human.

There's no point to my life.",0.9685751633986932,3.1331601058823537,2.114509803921571,96.72418300653601,83.23529411764707,5.660130718954249,20.03267973856209,6.937597516519254,0.17964052287581733,319,9,73,4,9,101,61,85,0.166,0.7709999999999999,0.064,-0.8573,0,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,0,1,0,6,3,1,0,3,0,8,3,2,3,1,21,15,5,2,3,4,0,2,1,1,1,1,1,0,1,6,2,0,0,6,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,3,3,11,2,7,10,2,8,0,0,0,0,5,5,1,3,2,47,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21434434537656072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123796849053503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15189754603055075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19744738596118544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17934888116904485,0.0,0.1923902085172487,0.13591320800648748,0.0,0.0,0.1738832238228561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469851315642562,0.0,0.0,0.18250321556503368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13437778750855814,0.09294556217700872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12699201617228748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14673098471425453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18640264486970426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5395375559730913,0.0,0.1822049929775573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19528683632870136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081004316522454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12639231649847432,0.0,0.0,0.30207131950208105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19805487569742336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15101000574359666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Schmellaburst,2019/08/14,Have you considered writing a book? Have you considered writing a book about your experience with/life since bipolar disorder?  Why?  Why not?,4.7902173913043455,8.197191391304349,4.609021739130434,72.2596195652174,91.6086956521739,9.256521739130434,36.184782608695656,8.841846274778883,5.124226086956521,114,7,16,4,4,35,16,23,0.162,0.838,0.0,-0.5661,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,9,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4598512292072098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3924858091810905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33190657393948303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7241061819676984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,carlibing,2019/08/14,"Anxiety I was recently sexually assaulted (raped), and with dealing with my regular anxiety/depression I am unable to stop feeling like i'm going to panic. I feel as if i'm not strong enough for all of this. I am so anxious at this point I cannot eat, i've been force feeding myself as best I can. I wish my meds would give me my manic episodes back so I can feel better for just a little while  I guess I am curious how to cool myself down? How to feel less nervous and scared alone and in public. I am currently on 120mg of seroquel, 150mg lamictal, and 100mg of Zoloft. Should i ask for higher dosage on my meds? What are some solid coping skills yall have found effective?",2.8810595160235413,4.319633417266189,4.6187573577501615,84.45513407455856,74.53956834532373,8.220013080444735,25.586003924133426,8.841846274778883,1.8608935251798557,531,18,110,11,11,180,91,139,0.154,0.682,0.165,0.3699,1,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,5,6,10,2,3,1,1,13,4,0,3,1,24,25,12,0,4,3,0,4,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,6,2,1,6,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,3,5,20,5,19,20,5,13,0,0,0,1,5,7,0,3,6,74,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18478651608130905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364887469803399,0.20156076576028864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667960919491513,0.0,0.0,0.13719189149156302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872379500158971,0.15779560388143452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839404031411576,0.15367055998701412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18256544093792476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18435276597160427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3608525930744481,0.12746135554453328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19562536157830585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17115413276129127,0.10139866383488022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965467720894291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08716568110411126,0.17882100759388622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3963628004079647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093342606681235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16866201909342055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17616556039778164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17862684353583907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491648527048955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20517109108535986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267425316482834,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,iamthedarbabe,2019/08/14,"Anyone ever get a moment of clarity? Last month I hit a brand new low. Nothing was working (it seemed). Was ghosted by a recent flame, had to chat with the boss about an outburst and, well, life. A Perfect storm of emotional turmoil, bipolar illness, and PMS. And believe me, everything went south. [will spare you the details]

But then something incredible happened. Right at the peak of my massive breakdown, it all vanished. Almost equatable to a curtain being dropped. I could actually understand what was real.

Has anyone else ever experienced a change in mood this way?",4.12006666666667,7.343245939999999,4.5340000000000025,77.39866666666667,79.6,6.133333333333334,33.333333333333336,7.492282038375204,2.924433333333334,454,25,67,7,12,143,82,100,0.071,0.8270000000000001,0.102,0.4871,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,2,4,5,0,1,10,0,8,4,0,1,4,15,14,5,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,5,1,5,2,10,5,1,16,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,2,8,46,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.1875542011253718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924551252709203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687738603011811,0.1969260759333779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165374941849008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20331639829314346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534517457528781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16055392294326934,0.21619305162227614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3477020305512413,0.0,0.0,0.1727321099520477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041374378125753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16995704635920628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15666424747164956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357527269035024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15340789274732655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18562273829200324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18441589821486307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187595268052779,0.0,0.0,0.1897689768523569,0.0,0.0,0.16413313470455648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17496674171854415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14796078964757667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20008135236448288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15255512424701306,0.0,0.0,0.17280602329334455,0.17816631584876527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13991995479011846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,streasure,2019/08/14,Effexor? Was just prescribed this because i am on a relatively high dose of prozac that mostly does nothing. I have been reading about it all night and have seen some horror stories. I'm ready to call my doctor tomorrow and tell him I'm not going to take it. Thoughts?,3.1534615384615385,5.552113576923084,3.896769230769234,85.64823076923078,76.69230769230771,6.467692307692308,27.707692307692305,7.554174236665415,1.70964923076923,214,9,40,3,5,68,44,52,0.079,0.873,0.048,-0.3736,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,0,1,8,11,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,1,4,0,5,7,3,5,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,2,2,26,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19852650110889603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3325473110535033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333388781376345,0.2849975790990315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850867840200435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3440901279722981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056209143823176,0.0,0.3124908670254173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3257599225620733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448646565904777,0.0,0.2846515000305465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25854702428119664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gekosaurus,2019/08/14,"I'm tired of being stigmatized for gun violence Every time there is a shooting on the news, **every fucking time**, it's all over my Facebook, ""this is a mental health crisis"". I've seen people openly advocate national registries which would severely limit our rights, I've seen people advocate for involuntary confinement regardless of whether an individual is showing symptoms of their illness. I've seen comments as severe as ""round them up and put them down"".

It doesn't take a lot of digging to find research that shows mental illness isn't the problem; multiple articles I've found say that less than 5% of violent crime is perpetrated by individuals with a diagnosable mental illness. ""It's mental illness"" is simply an easy answer, we're a scapegoat.

The vast majority of us are not dangerous, at all, and it makes me very upset to see us painted as murderous lunatics.",6.886363636363638,8.566805719745222,7.713943254198033,65.17875506658946,65.05095541401275,10.5498552403011,37.839606253618996,10.637119530657019,4.7228012738853495,706,37,105,19,11,236,107,157,0.257,0.6990000000000001,0.043,-0.9890000000000001,0,0,0,2,0,0,25.0,3,0,3,1,1,6,4,1,10,0,10,9,0,1,2,19,19,6,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,1,8,1,0,0,8,4,0,2,3,2,0,1,3,6,0,0,4,6,8,0,21,13,5,12,0,0,5,1,8,9,1,1,2,66,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14717601651531076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443442625947831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325310369783801,0.0,0.0,0.15898941110995046,0.0,0.1340538694753244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541324805499492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232772228003102,0.0,0.0,0.09679130177868374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5845197418320902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20105504384383666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387492531022593,0.0,0.14576907911470366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12383263113733088,0.0,0.11531300774923905,0.0,0.0,0.11554942119784925,0.0,0.0,0.3276265121510987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15071468607771113,0.10902496856731377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16910600712313914,0.1666607770438393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3488439371754873,0.0,0.0,0.11964349322190446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10300668740887567,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Alan_Taylor,2019/08/14,Latuda Just got put on Latuda as a kind of last-ditch-effort-before-hospitalization thing to manage mania. How have you guys that have taken it responded to it?,6.3229999999999995,7.51006996666667,7.1733333333333364,70.35000000000002,66.0,8.666666666666668,21.66666666666667,8.841846274778883,1.4986666666666664,129,2,21,2,2,43,26,30,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,5,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,15,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.364262090747598,0.0,0.0,0.4509635397537598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4742773381186645,0.0,0.3712496024462912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.457849425690734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.302578349658659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Smich7,2019/08/14,Bipolar meds and weight gain New to this app but finding it helpful. I have been on so many different medications I've been on 200mg of Zoloft since 2016 my doctor recently added rexulti to the mix. I'm always so hungry and.im gaining weight... Mentally I feel okay until I look in the mirror. I feel so uncomfortable in my body. Wondering what meds worked best and didn't cause weight gain.,3.58354285714286,5.976294706666668,4.3219047619047615,83.16000000000003,75.26666666666667,8.019047619047619,25.380952380952376,8.841846274778883,2.0522952380952386,313,11,59,7,7,100,56,75,0.052000000000000005,0.687,0.261,0.9595,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,5,3,2,0,0,2,1,4,8,1,1,0,8,9,7,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,2,3,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,6,6,2,8,6,1,7,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,1,3,30,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13860559143581988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748125156103474,0.0,0.0,0.18502973950471974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17112069096057608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17403774096316887,0.0,0.17049884336392493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16845289524507578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15224856146918495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165319940821936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799319826189817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398829114296445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16888315596221165,0.0,0.0,0.3700594790094395,0.16780902454702573,0.16787065858918862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16088131728510205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16447490892967012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377943979174309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6085385341462771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806458896069361,0.12127020023643276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AccomplishedToday,2019/02/28,"Lyrics that hit home Was listening to music and these lyrics stood out to me. I figured others here could relate ;)

> When we last met who was I?

> I'm sorry we no longer see eye to eye

> The energy to keep you in while keeping myself out

> I'm sorry how you'll take this

> But I just don't have the patience anymore

",1.2920476190476191,2.7466091571428564,3.120000000000001,93.47333333333334,78.85714285714286,5.80952380952381,18.80952380952381,6.42735559955562,-0.15447619047619066,251,5,58,2,6,84,50,70,0.07,0.872,0.057999999999999996,0.0516,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,6,2,2,1,0,12,16,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,5,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,4,9,0,7,9,0,6,0,0,3,0,7,3,0,0,3,36,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786761166824039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22435533181949674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28186553066693903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4995307477004947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290521952246637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239203163924648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6291121387368548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21127674377936065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,9aagb98,2019/02/28,"Mania and marriage Has anyone ever gotten married while manic? 
If so, what's your story? ",3.470625000000002,6.592624812500002,5.230000000000004,71.81500000000003,82.125,3.2,20.5,3.1291,0.44885,71,2,8,0,2,24,16,16,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,8,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6115828683441553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7911803809169787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Big_Rig_Jig,2019/02/28,"Doing well, but life is definitely testing me right now. I had a what I'm assuming was a panic attack the other night cause I've only ever felt this sensation when I think really hard about some kind of medical condition I probably don't have. My vision went blurry, and my ears were hissing. I remember fumbling with my breathing while wondering wtf was happening. I started taking deep breaths after figuring I might be having a panic attack. I ignored all my emotionally rooted thoughts and calmed myself down. Fuck. That. Shit. I feel for anyone who goes through anything like that regularly. That is down right terrifying to the ""piss your pants"" core.

So, I've been stable for about 6 months now doing what I'm doing and actually being successful (how I perceive it anyways). I'm holding a job, I'm loved by my peers and getting along with my parents better than ever. I've matured a lot I guess, but being disciplined with my diet, meds, and sleep, have made it all stay together.

Just a couple weeks back my Mom got diagnosed with breast cancer... And I'm pretty sure the restaurant I'm working at is going to close soon because I've never seen a shit show like this EVER! Everyone is drunk and indifferent... It's sad.  Aaaaaaand now my ex wants to talk on the phone today (only have let her text me recently since making amends and healing our friendship). She's been sporadically contacting me telling me this or that reminded her of me... I really feel like she eventually (prolly not today) wants to try and rekindle things. She's expressed since finalizing our divorce how she feels she messed up and turned her back on me when I was simply severely depressed. I get that now and I understand why she did what she did, and he don't blame her for it one bit. But I can't trust her anymore like that. She'll prolly drop me when I hit another dip in my journey. 

I'm overloaded right now. But I'm staying disciplined and trying to do everything how I need to, to stay stable. It's working I guess, but man, this is the shitty part of life that usually puts me down for a year. I'm afraid, but I'm excited to challenge my will through these tough times.

 Oh yeah, I forgot in my rambling, my parents (whom I'm living with currently) are selling their house and moving to a different city. Overall a good thing for all of us, but keeping the house clean and sprucing it up for random showings today with a few hours notice is stressful.


Stay positive peeps and keep on chugging along. Sometimes it's awesome cause sometimes it sucks.",4.547202044367116,6.35535948140496,5.443897346672468,78.71826228795132,70.92148760330578,8.48316659417138,29.67899086559373,9.063066167217693,2.6589181818181817,2015,82,360,41,38,659,261,484,0.161,0.6920000000000001,0.147,-0.8662,6,0,0,0,1,0,65.0,3,1,1,5,23,31,7,4,17,1,34,18,8,8,8,79,77,32,0,3,10,4,5,4,0,3,6,1,1,1,28,25,2,7,12,3,1,5,5,16,1,1,16,7,59,15,45,53,8,57,0,2,1,3,33,16,5,9,35,238,87,6,0.0,0.0,0.07486845638084297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044847259013027,0.0,0.0,0.07608644116447544,0.053644983464856175,0.0,0.06313470049750157,0.0,0.0,0.17456202445057414,0.0,0.11798715477192835,0.0,0.0467683017566684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0678533335136416,0.0837592684707144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15762683840367092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08489013167347917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066079532645673,0.07787002063878128,0.0,0.08015693110210023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630059981649812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20819513094074826,0.0,0.07331003441465962,0.06895172895045551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637706031503572,0.054809371459819414,0.07366402175235744,0.0840439117868881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092716483236282,0.08016692722653421,0.0,0.04360221188541775,0.06434978654785202,0.061360650934140414,0.0,0.1690332727854002,0.0,0.06784397062615206,0.0,0.06872678812715108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07555455666893224,0.17705105859271886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613357885905203,0.13638598562816842,0.0,0.07989293129720103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784522397686109,0.10838037273248212,0.14992767568721496,0.0,0.06774589252097668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06522530036511176,0.06924353836465083,0.07259509799167832,0.05121174526677394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521953915994637,0.07728815798507288,0.0,0.08138866937778964,0.0,0.08985450094024151,0.06123782915933064,0.08154209347789977,0.0,0.0568875183143455,0.059171828579638736,0.0,0.0,0.07199729540964875,0.0,0.0,0.08734716577307321,0.0,0.0,0.0519880153851616,0.11669928650966227,0.0,0.18003071131967,0.17037878984512475,0.0830811751908214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805265887976008,0.08271802359280858,0.0,0.0,0.07712561780048763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982986478466618,0.0,0.07575255729094893,0.0,0.08690973691233304,0.1965574915818311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667269255913014,0.1575056451179026,0.12692851560812146,0.0,0.07677623011167857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15175771188255435,0.0,0.05430339357672986,0.327096758219426,0.0,0.0,0.08788344382103122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723084679601024,0.0,0.05768451106023791,0.06166529159575016,0.06705738112824858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019398118290501,0.049159605687958435,0.0,0.06090776386190911,0.04473652900997915,0.0,0.21816710913368548,0.0,0.0,0.1041768058001952,0.08345022475773142,0.0,0.07986908270909393,0.09228570398473514,0.0,0.08449714777433949,0.0,0.09050385864245956,0.0,0.061540816682963,0.0,0.06898123390281402,0.07112097178640221,0.0692286098230328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320046012413565,0.11170734613415596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04940569478243075
bipolarreddit,asphodelusrasmus,2019/02/28,"The ""Calm"" I have Bipolar 2.

After a month of isolation and depression, I went out with my friends last night and had a great time. I went home tired and slept the whole day. I woke up exhausted but the racing thoughts and irritability are gone. My mind is blank and surprisingly calm. I'm actually panicking a bit because, at this point, I don't know what's happening. There are no more excessive intrusive thoughts, or those crazy ideas - just really calm. I feel alright but I still think of suicide.  I think what scares me a bit is that I experience this before a big mood swing. Am I okay? ",3.0049760765550246,5.379463421052632,3.978133971291868,85.00011961722487,77.0701754385965,8.355980861244019,26.15311004784689,9.095868883498916,2.2175368421052646,466,18,95,12,11,150,81,114,0.23600000000000002,0.619,0.145,-0.9109999999999999,0,1,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,0,3,12,0,1,8,2,8,4,1,0,0,19,21,8,1,0,4,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,1,0,6,7,0,0,7,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,8,1,13,8,7,13,4,15,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,1,7,56,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.1719361825745431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10740388754152813,0.0,0.14992485101688002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38470804854942503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362807877305985,0.0,0.151752328532234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17234778687686422,0.0,0.0,0.0890870399323229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361240822601286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19425027583569868,0.0,0.0,0.15580437855995075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17673309835823356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19889724718793644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682950537644562,0.14361849798386134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17790183765656653,0.0,0.14063330651894496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653425317794338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16655665297593478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128719295147572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17639708898840012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407056911301348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19272344063055688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22579108338662404,0.0,0.2797506163155772,0.10273790046483812,0.20250467283346604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3266600910734069,0.0,0.19671002398720452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,microdelic,2019/02/28,"Bipolar 1 doesn’t seem to cover it anymore. Schizoaffective, anybody? I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 & C-PTSD (repetitive childhood trauma and abuse) , 4 years ago. Mainly after a severe 6mo. Long manic episode in which I was convinced I was indestructible and a direct channel of god, resulting in multiple unintended near death experiences related to drugs, alcohol and physical safety. 

Long story short, “bipolar” in itself has been one hell of a show. Since my first severe episode I have experienced a multitude of smaller shorter lived episodes 2 out of 4 which would probably even fall in the hypomanic category. The depression always lasts much longer (usually 2/3X times longer than the initial mania) but it never comes with out visual & auditory hallucinations, explosive anger, psychosis and catatonic moments lasting no less than 3 hours at a time. I’m 21 years old. The lines are starting to get blurry. I don’t know where the episodes end and begin. I am scared as fuck and have had a handful of clarity moments that reveal the way my brain seems to be slipping through my fingers. I tried to tapper off my lithium (my doc is on board) thinking that much of this time spent somewhere else / staring at a wall only to snap back a few hours later confused as to where the time went - was just because of my high dose of 1250mg lithium carbonate. I’ve tapered down to 300mg at night and 300mg in the morning and my partner has started to point out that I seem to exhibit ALL symptoms of bipolar each day, simultaneously and more consistently. 

Redditors, I’m usually better spoken but my brains in shambles and I’m eager for you to make me think deeper on this and reflect before I word barf it to my psych. 

Anyway. I’m not to familiar with schizo effective but am starting to feel that could possibly be more fitting. I don’t want more meds in my life. I’m also an avid micro dosed, lsd, dmt & earth medicine user for some background and am very on board with alternative medicine to get me back to “reality”. At least one I can be comfortable in.",6.508825065274153,7.583510096605745,6.86782872062663,73.11026527415144,65.52741514360315,9.783352480417756,35.94663185378589,9.888512548439397,3.730916532637076,1649,79,281,35,25,535,231,383,0.08800000000000001,0.833,0.079,-0.5579999999999999,0,0,2,0,1,0,47.0,0,1,0,3,8,11,3,2,17,0,24,16,4,3,2,46,48,18,1,3,5,0,3,0,1,1,11,0,0,1,12,21,1,0,10,2,1,3,6,7,0,3,8,5,24,4,58,35,12,65,1,1,1,1,2,28,2,5,33,176,36,1,0.0,0.1191024981380172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910696138732854,0.10742777708610286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038765385389061,0.0836426134129862,0.3267476380466681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09969111896149854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15459090085276353,0.0,0.061277466296165074,0.0,0.08553708078389845,0.0,0.0,0.08890381308044341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2244322821979271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659106798836545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025888382661023,0.0,0.0,0.0648285730311387,0.0,0.08657971708336018,0.10202802723094888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657396423225595,0.0,0.0839734900778651,0.0,0.08903292880015429,0.0,0.0,0.06639403676876279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833010651017844,0.0,0.0,0.05082709957558355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550422432648838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092931254487511,0.1050375146557601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062073380727144,0.0,0.0,0.1979884505488616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055244431910207004,0.16387819605336235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100187934805162,0.0,0.0,0.08876304013039904,0.17791815968183367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670994215458141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165762370030373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477909261030522,0.0,0.07752900138081828,0.0,0.0,0.09433337703460097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548125318255633,0.0,0.13623303566349926,0.0764517453839632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502607328983924,0.11332379916979103,0.0,0.0,0.10838005042744564,0.0,0.11750519942342287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064036714731496,0.0,0.0,0.2745352031326585,0.0,0.2271231923161589,0.0,0.08315309242643099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21345062219568364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10448116791937316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12882127285056366,0.0,0.0,0.2344614660484684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824804906833487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22142224243264946,0.08294143212647978,0.059290662043821774,0.0797899296226512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318518714377676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07140816388945609,0.0,0.0,0.12946614194462824
bipolarreddit,merrozz,2019/02/28,"Is anyone else’s mania a nightmare? Just got diagnosed yesterday, and I’m struggling a bit with mania. For me, mania feels like I have so much energy that my body is going to explode. My thoughts are constantly racing, I’m full of rage, and I try to do everything but accomplish nothing. I can’t stop talking or obsessing and the anxiety is out of this world. 

Mania has never been fun or exciting for me. I don’t spend money or party or have a lot of sex. I don’t feel like a god or that I’m on top of the world. It feels like I’m in a tornado and have no control over my life. Does anyone else feel this way?",1.2880232558139542,3.0975050310077528,3.7869961240310097,87.05863372093027,80.08527131782947,7.4007751937984505,23.1531007751938,8.344100000000001,1.4455007751937985,475,16,102,10,12,166,78,129,0.11199999999999999,0.68,0.20800000000000002,0.9236,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,2,8,1,2,7,0,13,4,1,1,1,22,24,11,0,0,7,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,6,0,2,5,0,2,1,5,3,0,0,3,4,10,5,13,21,4,14,0,0,0,1,1,8,0,6,7,65,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271147954549225,0.0,0.0,0.2323710812081021,0.3405087468805965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18140775258594616,0.1845704404739537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17956395688435356,0.1863667477142003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686526840052531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14541099623724438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27761694254585123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14933724248309171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3360694897773808,0.3561221968163639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443467463753508,0.0,0.13289631089680656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11736635360360766,0.2435376095693977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412664576352561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214945753327765,0.0,0.1281557090339947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594385764007376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892031511856154,0.0,0.1737104042572888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335561086574358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131915437646016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11281426256966197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13189303128433358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Hungjury21,2019/02/28,"You guys have any songs that have helped you through hard times? For me it's been ""numb"" and ""somewhere I belong"" by linkin park. There are definitely a bunch of others, but those are the two that stand out. Hbu? ",2.535,4.832036097560977,1.9343292682926825,99.45076219512195,78.26829268292683,5.0756097560975615,17.567073170731707,5.985473137389443,-0.6912000000000003,164,3,37,1,4,47,37,41,0.03,0.9129999999999999,0.055999999999999994,0.2523,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,5,1,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,5,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,4,0,5,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,26,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.340491784782377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4957697033958397,0.0,0.0,0.4485270281110732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33560729061245503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29196100896971355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4891091559902711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SOHELPMEPVBLO,2019/03/28,"Hey y'all, I made a new Album about my Mental Health Issues, Heartbreak, Loss and other deep topics.. I spent the last 5 months only working on this, neglecting my school to do this. I'd really appreciate if anybody would give it a listen. (also yes I am actually bipolar, I'm not bragging about it in the second song )

​

 [https://soundcloud.com/tomniland/sets/aurora-the\_journey](https://soundcloud.com/tomniland/sets/aurora-the_journey) ",14.0940625,16.710370281250007,11.115625000000005,43.86687500000002,49.3125,9.525,31.625,9.516144504307137,3.090356250000001,374,10,44,5,4,111,54,64,0.141,0.7709999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.5318,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,0,2,3,3,0,0,4,1,3,2,0,1,0,6,8,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,1,2,2,6,0,5,5,0,6,0,3,0,0,4,3,0,1,3,28,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.2435742028361956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996055281257808,0.0,0.2704421708616229,0.3032920772327383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394396615458475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26531379051849474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605182022529229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20345782158903306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236178144680742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515387214054912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19922883604048397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410658371631121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18983252131278772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159900550555848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252609156132325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18171222635582576,0.0,0.0,0.1773091212682201,0.0,0.3032920772327383,0.0
bipolarreddit,islandoflesbo,2019/03/28,"What are your talents? I write, produce and sing songs :)  i also do fake nails and shit. 

I'm scared abilify is gonna take away my creativity :(",-0.29464285714285765,1.8051731071428565,1.7654285714285716,92.37957142857144,103.64285714285714,5.097142857142859,19.88571428571429,6.742157984588678,0.6102485714285724,109,4,23,2,5,36,25,28,0.312,0.474,0.214,-0.5994,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,1,4,1,1,0,0,3,1,1,1,0,4,6,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,1,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,12,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3928610362262872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4615556364693694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4918377017887629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5042720899211991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3693669382662956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,oat_cat,2019/03/28,"Is this a delusion of reference? i believe photos can read my mind and they judge me for my actions/thoughts. although i talk to them a lot through my mind. as you can imagine grocery store line ups are the worst, because the magazines judge me and i’ve even stopped going grocery shopping with my mum because of the overwhelming anxiety it gives me.",5.223181818181821,6.9916464696969705,4.9337575757575785,83.20063636363638,69.15151515151516,7.704242424242422,38.95757575757575,8.238735603445708,3.3682521212121213,281,17,50,4,5,86,49,66,0.11900000000000001,0.8809999999999999,0.0,-0.7717,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,1,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,9,6,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,2,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,12,0,8,6,2,3,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,1,1,37,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138471245972664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3408096437013127,0.0,0.0,0.3149455443613409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18463335205220466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681599762888364,0.15886886779184325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376546778777924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5645108691442862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27961537255837043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337077271763027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22468344228993312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22192331686986247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,katinsipid,2019/03/28,"Lifeless mode- advice appreciated Hi. I just want to say, thank God for meds that have made me come down from manic episodes of sexapades and erarrtic behaviors of last few years ..adgitation, running away etc. Bipolar meds help.

I'm feeling good and stable now. This year has been fine. But I've just litterally been in my bed, listening to talk radio, on my phone , smoking my vape pen, hardly getting out . I'm not depressed. I went through a depression last year and got through that with the right medication, and now I feel just a static of nothingness. I just don't do anything at all. I have no motivation to leave my room. It's weird. Not even shop or goto the  beach, listen to music. Has this happend to anyone ? How long does this funk last for? How can I get out of it? I turn on my music but I just turn it back off and want to crawl back in bed. I'm not at all sad. Just unmotivated to do anything but sit and lay around. It's the weirdest thing. It's been going on for a few months. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you for reading. ",1.1850480769230778,3.6818717932692335,2.745184615384616,90.19981538461542,85.875,5.443384615384615,21.781538461538464,6.918507183188421,0.6285078461538461,815,28,169,11,25,266,124,208,0.055999999999999994,0.799,0.145,0.9277,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,1,14,8,0,0,6,0,13,2,0,4,2,35,33,12,0,3,13,0,3,0,0,1,2,3,3,0,11,11,0,0,3,4,1,4,6,4,0,0,6,6,15,4,32,25,5,32,0,3,0,0,9,15,0,1,12,110,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577742188238385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969370876318698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222465313487338,0.0,0.2170781116176754,0.11741528033566655,0.0,0.0,0.12392050368267354,0.2028395521892605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361660587694207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272034245869097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542295728241984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470987507367688,0.08711597262144033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338102126475862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378202877292205,0.0,0.0749594576663495,0.11062799092046856,0.10548916940646344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11815278497108275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768140315175898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32253819323467936,0.0,0.13965867313394892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11672368696063315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248030533173849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2930131368010809,0.13287120437414698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10527801833794533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13193155445415622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263834510621605,0.0,0.10488888302542863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601289739616716,0.0,0.2428639771147197,0.0,0.0,0.08762574969127743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869296450562206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555911929050461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226878507499313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09369503577568207,0.0,0.0,0.2548098314084912
bipolarreddit,syncronicities,2019/03/28,Tired I’m so tired of being tired ,-1.5337499999999975,0.3452831250000017,0.8049999999999997,103.54,92.75,3.2,8.0,3.1291,-2.39865,27,0,7,0,1,9,6,8,0.6990000000000001,0.301,0.0,-0.8514,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jellbellwyatt0301,2019/03/28,"Tips for Anger Management I've got a lot of new things happening in my life right now and the chaos and stress are causing me to become almost enraged over the tiniest things. For example my SO not picking up after himself is causing me to really wanna tear shit up and just fucking lose it. 

I am currently unmedicated and I really dont feel like this would be cause to get on any. I just need to know I'm not alone and some techniques yall might have learned to help. ",5.029192982456141,5.478570673684215,5.8628947368421045,81.22942982456142,68.57894736842104,9.280701754385962,30.570175438596486,9.2995712137729,2.4934912280701758,374,14,76,7,6,123,73,95,0.209,0.748,0.043,-0.9545,1,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,1,4,7,4,1,3,0,8,3,1,4,0,23,16,6,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,1,9,1,15,12,2,11,0,1,0,1,3,7,2,4,5,52,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17978445826746986,0.1859504134707604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12209409201068196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19828901847056932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5533144420893263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21042081013254774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078136531166628,0.12826418435542405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16598283657631474,0.09380280469490652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359540410630608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15876758525092952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034260223247994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09867108287810256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12681517538346224,0.08771470335334387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20086054514579796,0.0,0.15263940687226715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19046471461852926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331274368278956,0.0,0.17340189511177756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23003722818708414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533271024352348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842963398807896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2056637020242786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385582331879855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12754083287093848,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thebowski,2019/03/28,"Pot induced my mania, is this the new normal? Is bipolar mania precipitated by marijuana use typically one off, or a ""new normal"" in the cycle?  Am I likely to experience full-blown mania without medication?

Some background:

After a period of minor depression I reverted to old habits and smoked some marijuana which caused my first manic episode.  I spent some time in a psych ward and was given lithium and zyprexa, which didn't fully suppress my manic state.  After a couple months in hypomania, I gave my zyprexa to someone else I'd med who couldn't afford them.  I thought I'd be fine, with just a week until my next refill.  I was wrong, and went manic, totalled my car, and ended up back in the psych ward.  Now I'm dealing with the fallout from this event.

I'm 26, and generally high functioning.  I was an alcoholic for a few years and have been sober for about 4 years (it runs in my family).  I'd smoked pot before, but not often because it would make me feel very anxious and make my thoughts race.

Is this extreme episode of mania my new normal or is it likely a one-off ?  I'd never experienced them before.  In fact, I don't think I'd ever really experienced general hypomania before, only excitement related to specific projects or areas of interest.

I'm unable to find much online about this, here's one:

>Clinicians agree that cannabis use can cause acute adverse mental effects that mimic psychiatric disorders, such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

>[...]

>Cannabis abuse prior to development of bipolar disorder has a significant effect on first-episode mania and on the course of the disease. Another study reported that using cannabis at baseline can significantly increase the risk for manic symptoms during follow up.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2811144/",8.385213505461769,9.205063698113207,8.451833829857666,64.2772939424032,61.38993710691824,11.097252565375703,37.49155908639524,10.882677951670544,4.513588679245283,1448,66,217,35,19,472,190,318,0.086,0.856,0.057999999999999996,-0.875,1,0,3,0,1,0,63.0,0,0,2,3,9,9,0,1,16,0,18,6,0,10,4,50,35,16,0,5,7,0,1,2,0,1,6,0,0,0,13,12,1,1,8,0,1,5,6,4,0,3,11,3,20,5,37,21,7,42,0,1,0,0,5,14,0,7,24,136,33,4,0.0,0.12411081485011638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11194516622348702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098387947377842,0.0,0.11833691530572732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054576089166758,0.0,0.06385421290789896,0.0,0.2674018671805149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21521281127108413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590312964239775,0.0,0.0,0.10799194885825844,0.09022043537874748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3601553855437887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750461528770671,0.0,0.09277680581539732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475175648274717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246493427144623,0.09874833595647496,0.0,0.05296440329474602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573898031217792,0.17819943527952406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106734071689373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10235045281233483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13984196829141474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635287990024913,0.10552391919029858,0.1055626767344898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360990744334429,0.0,0.07700280243008724,0.0,0.08078913277485468,0.3035026364687154,0.11140208962371134,0.0,0.30789627811649883,0.0,0.0,0.10991679006369867,0.0,0.2129425494431112,0.07966657765080576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671050963194784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875375847229783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088746507393881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711913433161344,0.0,0.16631851811158996,0.06108017056138456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271409339567662,0.0,0.08642915880844343,0.0,0.0,0.08402358570652177,0.0,0.0,0.09710366859788908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009746059919978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07441091115486988,0.11452693702937974,0.0,0.13491025480950625
bipolarreddit,IllustriousWeekend0,2019/04/28,"My brother is a delusional narcissist, and he's hearing voices. How can I get him to see a doctor and follow his treatment regiment? My brother is 19, and he's an extreme narcissist. He's not my significant other, but he lives with me. He doesn't have a job because he gets fired or quits everything. I often want to throw him out, but I have Stockholm syndrome. He'll be sad and regretful about everything once in a blue moon. He'll apologize and cry in my arms, then clean the whole apartment and buy me something. I feel like I should keep accepting his behavior because it's not the real him talking.

Along with narcissistic personality disorder, he probably has Bipolar and schizophrenia. All throughout high school, he was obviously depressed and made self harm gestures. He reported hearing voices of ghosts screaming at him for being a demon. Our parents were alcoholics and didn't see his behavior as a big deal. He was hospitalized twice with suicidal behavior, and doctors apparently didn't catch the fact that voices were telling him to do it. He was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with psychotic features instead of schizophrenia.

Right now he's in his bipolar happy phase and delusional. He believes he's a famous musician and novelist, worth $100 billion, but persecuted by people who won't recognize his genius. He thinks people steal his ideas all the time and have armies of lawyers to block his lawsuits. He thinks he's the president. Donald Trump stole his office and regularly sends people to kill him. He locks himself in a closet that he thinks is a panic room and begs me to bring him food. He doesn't come out for three days or more, and he urinates and defecates on the floor in there. I tried to just ignore him in there and he starves until he passes out and then blames me for it.

He runs into my bedroom at night and says we need to leave because a voice said Donald Trump found him. I tell him no a bunch of times and he just goes out the door in only his boxers and sits in the passenger seat of my car. He has delusions that the car is actually taking him somewhere and he's confused how he got back home when I get him to come back in.

His behavior is extremely alarming, but I can't have him committed involuntarily because he's not harming anyone. Believe me, I've called the police several times including when he was starving. It's not considered suicidal behavior to refuse to eat. Since he's not easily angered or aggressive like many bipolar people, there are no grounds for court ordered treatment. I'm afraid he's going to do something while psychotic that will harm him. That or spiral back into depression if he is indeed bipolar.

I'm wondering how I should talk to him and try to get him help. I can see that he has a true self underneath the narcissism that comes out occasionally, but he's going to need meds and therapy to get there which he refuses. He believes that being called mentally ill is part of the persecution.",6.090492481203008,7.348850207142856,6.508796992481205,74.64567669172935,66.57142857142857,9.966165413533835,34.02255639097744,10.125756701596842,3.6249285714285726,2396,108,417,57,38,776,271,560,0.203,0.736,0.061,-0.9983,3,0,3,0,0,0,51.0,2,0,0,1,18,23,3,4,25,0,37,13,2,4,6,91,72,45,4,7,17,3,2,2,0,6,9,9,6,3,15,42,3,5,8,0,2,14,13,18,0,3,12,15,51,5,56,51,7,58,1,5,4,0,91,27,0,8,17,255,66,6,0.0,0.0,0.07851265802394633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598212835525622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05625613836689451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18559522090394945,0.0,0.19617894422738952,0.0,0.0,0.2719363383218006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643074854584495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079150623090804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08837624651201606,0.0518869405906431,0.08294576640788348,0.20788780748735028,0.08166032260142399,0.0,0.0,0.1844172323072324,0.16469858889799693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232574333638082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14461587100738352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040680560634988296,0.05747720262913472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09728673310429704,0.08821496130178476,0.0,0.0,0.21017257622323526,0.0,0.09144907525363108,0.0,0.06434736384055613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564604405104305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18135768913883585,0.0,0.05392741682484418,0.08500532378249824,0.08070311382478554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09082411460194227,0.0,0.0,0.07983935999286057,0.07151226809334332,0.08901174547550579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519042764487715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861268215333081,0.0,0.07104340531571912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07612864453679202,0.0,0.0815689330403452,0.0,0.0,0.08936757692703264,0.0,0.08107990658916897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119313005427157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550174407753894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568214981377456,0.0,0.06118979618575439,0.0,0.09439682848373633,0.0893359654271363,0.08712512867640201,0.0,0.2231099893809553,0.07025036716127958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674430077365222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557399622943568,0.0,0.09157561821855488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06870829124666249,0.07653130816852181,0.06398119500648235,0.0,0.08142494590230748,0.19233710562704173,0.0,0.16786461613614434,0.09089146217058687,0.0,0.06655336319968194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12387666934517692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17600983528717204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060492288863456,0.12933366560614407,0.14064276163841846,0.0,0.0920075196113144,0.0,0.0,0.15465730815942075,0.0,0.0,0.14074220198177806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924758333752227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04745455460773453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982534456639928,0.0,0.0,0.08725021977122932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sirenrising,2019/04/28,"I hear original music in my mind that I truly believe comes from a supernatural or divine source. Does anyone else have similar spiritual experiences that they know are connected to something more and not ""just in their head""? I don't hear voices.  Just music.  It changes in intensity based on my state of mind, and sometimes I do not hear it for a time.  I believe it is part of my life work to compose what I hear.

I am not insane.  Just musical?

Can anyone even kind of relate to this?",2.882754137115839,5.19853335106383,4.676950354609931,80.13388888888889,77.19148936170212,7.582033096926714,25.33806146572104,8.515128840125781,1.9451408983451528,381,14,72,8,9,129,63,94,0.0,0.873,0.127,0.8909,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,1,4,2,0,0,2,0,7,2,1,1,0,14,13,3,0,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,7,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,5,12,2,12,13,2,8,1,0,0,0,6,4,0,1,2,52,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21141141852798226,0.15489758197308456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3406469569535249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599240645090545,0.13022465794287852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322950550656174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12628807191902275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985026087010204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14787904553267903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551500949418288,0.0,0.6815449377584901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15742644367636946,0.08308232495437029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10678001399225022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3052891415421386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16370877541205753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163825990773892,0.14951683768655655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815188715841353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11005786087011117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Fac183,2019/04/28,"Best meds for sleep? My bipolar 1 is so bad that I can't sleep without Klonopin. I know benzos are only meant for short term use.

Can you suggest some good sedatives other than Seroquel for the long term so I can get a good night's sleep?

So far, Trazodone sounds like a good choice according to other Redditiors.",3.8960655737704935,5.7753681147541025,3.676196721311477,90.43560655737707,72.77049180327869,6.191475409836067,26.95409836065573,6.742157984588678,1.0861514754098358,249,9,49,2,5,75,47,61,0.067,0.6990000000000001,0.23399999999999999,0.8825,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,3,6,0,0,3,0,5,4,3,1,0,5,9,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,5,5,6,8,4,6,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,5,27,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736936906656288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218311294818354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086854182311814,0.0,0.0,0.5234490361051781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11432609019325472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163138778194601,0.0,0.0,0.1840971738460854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231070881110226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19521906187073115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15821375722362768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6245311104157653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17966836543341372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20053041399862145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,meemaw23,2019/04/28,"I'm struggling and I'm thankful for this space I have been diagnosed as type 2 for about two years. A year ago I was hospitalized for the second time and upon coming out of the hospital I was looking for any kind of support. 

I went to a group meeting for bipolar people and noone ended up showing up. It was devastating and funny all at the same time. 

I've only had reddit for a few days and this is my first ever post. I'm so thankful for this space because I need it! 

Right now I am struggling with my brain. I hate my life and just can't seem to communicate the way that I want to. 

I've been taking lithium for two years and while it keeps me balanced I have also gained a lot of weight, am very slow in the morning and have a foggy brain at times. 

I'm in the middle of transitioning from my job serving to going back to school. I only have a month left at work but I hate it. I hate the unrealistic expectations placed on servers in this role and I find it so draining. Not to mention my coworkers and management dont know about my mental health history. 

I feel like I'm constantly struggling to be happy with myself and how far I've come. I am so proud of myself but some times- days like today I am just not okay. 

I am also struggling because my new boyfriend says he is supportive yet I fear he doesn't understand fully what I need. He is also a chronic weed user and I've found this so hard and tempting given a weed heavy past before my diagnosis. 

To wrap up my first post (novel) I just want to say I am so thankful for your space and an eager for any insight that anyone has to share.",3.3858181818181836,4.4442808090909125,4.79068181818182,85.20602272727272,72.72727272727272,7.3181818181818175,25.87121212121212,7.645422480735847,1.2695757575757574,1257,40,263,15,24,420,171,330,0.102,0.769,0.129,0.7955,1,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,0,1,0,5,18,21,3,5,16,1,24,8,2,1,2,45,54,27,0,5,7,0,3,2,0,0,5,2,0,0,13,19,1,1,7,2,0,4,5,8,0,5,9,6,34,13,43,44,5,52,0,0,1,0,11,20,0,3,27,175,47,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08007040492078722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21670603153218168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285240230617518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315950330132357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945672838368318,0.0,0.1101263349678437,0.0,0.07686255470364177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20167205157822707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15561930893847764,0.0,0.09761257957464473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650829547371967,0.0,0.0,0.09168111364655866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058638530099122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08000388016065531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170693207244725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10164421804254206,0.04567259819663076,0.06453040814017172,0.0,0.0,0.08255824114961764,0.15366606060103707,0.0,0.09904009235808077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051335537223647004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615593531692616,0.08091622964987713,0.267540875340256,0.0,0.09601453960031477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963669507774293,0.0802877599466482,0.0,0.09406280945773264,0.04964195797723801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981417380292218,0.0,0.06380140385242483,0.0882594878021537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07585284894042567,0.0,0.0,0.07679371504399701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102947298819926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720990225579707,0.0,0.0,0.13395427377222854,0.0,0.08723943570120295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13739717109611527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622838621000413,0.06262212675780307,0.0,0.0943736324922854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730186894191721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713969841868185,0.0,0.14366505112311792,0.0,0.09141685314385677,0.0,0.08223130395798875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37772214318999137,0.0,0.0,0.20500650043789234,0.0,0.0,0.06791548494242973,0.0,0.0,0.2494859179668105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21068415118789974,0.0,0.08562047097778377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17647484458914495,0.09403473106378048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745301371708724,0.10655569989047944,0.07169823629958634,0.0,0.10999528351548488,0.0,0.0837350477566906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06575992796758365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17450499233126116
bipolarreddit,carbamazepinevalium,2019/08/12,"[Question] I’ve recently been put on the mood stabilisers Carbamazepine / Epilem / Tegretol (hence the username bc I couldn’t think of shit else) and I’m not feeling much of anything. I don’t feel flat, I don’t feel depressed, I don’t feel manic. I feel tired as fuck. Is this normal? Like I get they’re mood stabilisers but are they supposed to completely zap any moods all together? It feels weird after swinging from manic to depressed for such a long time. Is this a good thing? Is this part of the introduction dose kind of thing? What should I watch out for (bad symptoms)? Thanks in advance!",2.2376611883691524,5.041566805309738,2.4906005056890024,91.58232300884957,84.48672566371681,5.70644753476612,24.00063211125158,7.1686216300943375,1.1058702907711762,471,18,91,7,14,143,79,113,0.153,0.758,0.08900000000000001,-0.6624,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,1,1,13,2,0,5,0,10,5,1,0,1,16,21,3,0,3,2,0,6,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,8,0,0,2,5,6,0,0,1,7,8,4,14,18,3,9,0,2,1,1,2,3,2,1,5,51,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11933243925499895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14440511450251292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14651849694891064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839874749483071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022813889280607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14659104966486594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5323678607115157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16222846197490526,0.09168107407051382,0.0,0.0,0.14718432528277486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18273544977647066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857306798167383,0.0,0.0,0.15529430632225252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12899801454185225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17193317346216186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19002777429677792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17640590011189178,0.19657779637856868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17326536157228686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18012773117489458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823909433954709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16155843701807462,0.0,0.0,0.23316227183371435,0.11244051895912532,0.0,0.0,0.1023238178565,0.20168848267629771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kokoelizabeth,2019/08/12,"I really appreciate this thread But I’m not the one with Bipolar. Does anyone know if there are any threads or support groups for people who have loved ones suffering from mental illness or even specifically from bipolar? 
 I’m in a committed relationship to someone who has bipolar and while this thread is super insightful for myself and my SO, I feel it’s probably inappropriate to post or inquire about my struggles/thoughts as an ally who doesn’t personally struggle with bipolar. Please share if you know of anywhere I can get advice or support more directed for myself.",7.465104022191403,9.075883970873788,7.447600554785023,67.8747572815534,63.66019417475728,10.15755894590846,38.01525658807212,10.290406445055957,4.388044105409154,471,24,72,11,7,151,76,103,0.071,0.7290000000000001,0.2,0.9286,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,4,7,0,1,3,0,6,6,0,0,1,18,15,12,0,2,8,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,0,1,8,5,13,15,1,3,0,1,0,1,9,1,0,6,1,53,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207421332471496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14434638708911904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14841950081152108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857531269539515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401979701704634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10732675006592493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089886278323273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23330882091131885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19157600086199306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21391157678343006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876703390803459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471567112997572,0.1853402087058106,0.0,0.2330014656715176,0.0,0.0,0.20328965691944406,0.0,0.2288558403192191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13598136583830675,0.0,0.0,0.2278914483464953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17985008534803426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22190378726641127,0.0,0.0,0.4817479693110766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16851342519012538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,natalielieliel,2019/08/12,"I feel like an alien in my own home Ever since I discharged from a mental hospital back in November, my stepdad refuses to say hello to me or even look at me. I just got discharged a second time, and it’s just really been getting to me. I walked into the kitchen and he saw me and averted his eyes. Does anyone else have similar experiences? I feel really alone and just want to see if anyone has ever experienced anything similar.",6.146428571428572,6.377441738095237,7.5381904761904766,70.94014285714289,66.14285714285714,11.005714285714284,33.46666666666667,10.793553405168565,3.7941980952380963,342,14,61,9,5,118,60,84,0.045,0.907,0.048,0.0534,0,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,4,0,3,2,1,0,2,17,11,6,0,2,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,5,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,8,12,1,9,8,1,9,0,0,4,0,5,4,0,2,5,44,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251053142611494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3039473022118875,0.22269706379947574,0.17885756181416845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16712595974644034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902012926413681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815650215517909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435552423229387,0.3932045104431633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21260647724842469,0.0,0.0,0.21979373302928626,0.15527230614261495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11355451937591117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17383176495538988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21801615289663667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618446872549044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825162295097171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21903404309983893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784753288594319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17284257486430202,0.0,0.0,0.17319693479288176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17979118177062245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267364292489251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281965334753196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Vitalizes,2019/06/07,Latuda and nausea Anyone experience this? I've been on it since February and I'm on 60mg and when I take it I literally feel as if nausea is going to be the death of me for a few hours until it subsides. Any advice on how to handle this?,-0.2493589743589765,1.8170538076923108,3.4476923076923067,85.78064102564106,87.84615384615385,5.7743589743589725,16.358974358974358,7.1686216300943375,0.17272051282051315,186,4,40,3,6,69,40,52,0.086,0.914,0.0,-0.644,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,6,7,8,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,9,5,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,3,29,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4106997167941239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28580965897470023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938745317258705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4111214574933914,0.0,0.0,0.2125097998903584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23885886009143315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4138981602144433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3476658550135741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160036145181923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,WiggleMeow,2019/06/07,"Does anyone else only experience depressive episodes without mania? I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 about 2 years ago. I get REALLY bad depressive episodes but I don’t feel like I experience typical “mania” behavior. The only thing that seems to resemble mania is when I have periods of overwhelmingly intense anxiety and emotions to the point where I feel like I’m going absolutely crazy. The emotions I experience are never euphoric or happy. I just become very anxious, quick to anger and sometimes even paranoid. And often times these symptoms WILL coincide with my depressive episodes. During my depressive episodes, I get so depressed and feel so hopeless and loose all motivation to do anything. Sometimes I even become suicidal and feel that life isn’t worth living anymore. I would never actually do it but during these times I think about it a lot to the point where I start getting scared. 

I’ve never felt delusions of grandeur nor do I have periods where I’m extremely confident, in fact, I struggle with self hatred and a low self esteem. I’ve gotten a lot better over the years and I’m finally learning how to love and accept myself but I still have moments where I think I’m an absolute p.o.s. I’m also a very impulsive person but I have ADHD so I’m consistently impulsive and have always been that way lol.

I don’t experience these depressive episodes as much as I use to now that I’m medicated. I take mood stabilizers and they help with my depression. I’ve taken antidepressants in the past but they just seem to make the depressive episodes worse.

Sometimes I question if I’m actually bipolar or just suffer from bad ADHD and manic depressive episodes. My doc even said that it’s possible that I could have “bipolar tendencies” but not actually be bipolar. I only experience very depressive/emotional episodes and then periods where I just feel stable and normal. 
What do you guys experience when you’re “manic”? 
Does anyone else have bipolar and not really experience mania?",6.013694169628277,8.342169537604462,6.757151090193068,68.66610027855155,68.10863509749304,10.188492940159447,34.66343290750168,10.401786478921641,4.350308154836232,1620,80,249,47,29,533,168,359,0.252,0.639,0.109,-0.9964,0,0,0,0,0,2,28.0,0,1,2,2,25,25,1,3,12,1,22,10,0,4,5,63,52,35,1,4,16,0,6,2,0,2,9,1,0,4,14,19,0,0,14,0,1,1,10,18,0,0,6,7,33,6,23,42,4,34,0,13,0,1,11,11,0,9,23,162,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.18601058871723186,0.0,0.1527196894962759,0.0,0.056322246381923936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050810993618591684,0.052868370858218335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0486060880371554,0.07177939970972289,0.06301222347637664,0.08885393073299097,0.13020355395347344,0.05228602883742333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10610247958431347,0.0,0.14034456868139875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619384149846349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050729601355965104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4925235551961884,0.06448932382044309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120435916815648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615501918322924,0.21441373516316525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12589795137080767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4350637345928233,0.0,0.0,0.16063259147234754,0.09078254443679737,0.061006057449765824,0.0696023321671256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958731654092648,0.0,0.036109880779534434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291221071026427,0.0,0.06763695382035308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0425879121662537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044878484014709966,0.06208252128177745,0.0,0.05610486249331209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803478622520084,0.057345162251662786,0.0,0.04241183958636634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640074448022252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04670744475735497,0.0,0.14701233605759298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062253355061020824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14496961761921387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060653826067697585,0.0,0.05547857921748865,0.0,0.0,0.12012713326117708,0.07162909427505497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07117665025685854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08140762362836698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060438805011478865,0.0,0.06361221913739748,0.0,0.0,0.1156844845835503,0.13256714207261058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18852092519485275,0.0,0.044972238406915485,0.0,0.05074120729190541,0.0,0.0,0.06642329220671901,0.0,0.0694998188950294,0.0,0.0,0.06603989172346443,0.047772365830540696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04221155639430131,0.08142465364949887,0.0,0.0,0.07409856790227619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054876083875849344,0.0,0.1572755159450938,0.0,0.050433187318206486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061247976468764724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06475023983442499,0.04513528615099517,0.0,0.0,0.08183225901988198
bipolarreddit,throwawayagain1999,2019/06/07,"Regularity of episodes? Apparently, I had one real manic episode so far. It started as an euphoric hypomanic episode last spring that slowly unravelled into self-destructive mania during summer. It got pretty ugly in the end. Considering my family history and other life-long mental problems that are closely linked to BP, my pdoc strongly suspects that I'm bipolar but won't give me meds until another clear-cut manic episode, just to make sure.

So, it's been over a year since my last episode began and apart from sleeping troubles, agitation and very short-lived bursts of motivation, I'm still mildly depressed most of the time (which is good, I guess, as my depression can get quite severe), no signs of the terrifying, erratic power of mania, not even hypomanic symptoms.

I read that the occurrence of mania follows a pattern. As I'm in an early stage of BP (if I'm BP at all), a chronic and progressive disorder, could it be that I might have years of no manic episodes at all? Is it normal to have an irregular cycle so shortly after onset?

How has your BP and its rhythm changed over the course of time?

Edit: I'm in my mid 20's now.",6.785255212077644,7.349990710280372,7.537476635514022,70.34242631200578,64.79439252336448,10.136017253774265,35.153127246585186,10.035473477838034,3.66648138030194,908,40,154,19,13,303,141,214,0.163,0.768,0.07,-0.9737,2,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,5,8,7,0,0,11,0,13,4,1,3,3,27,26,15,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,13,7,0,0,3,1,0,1,4,4,0,1,4,0,11,3,26,18,3,32,0,2,0,0,2,13,0,4,17,96,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691909876416128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706883628115795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288259455362426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779434097693291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849226572756568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14290942870972234,0.0,0.0,0.10657106300135268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15210771866467426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842994351350472,0.15478294365493858,0.0,0.13533388006043712,0.12904743619897052,0.0,0.17774673307075708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630458156502351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396724955238255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14279089152670865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770329729789267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792250061762307,0.0,0.1626042381240438,0.17116831322605247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15809009166590696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933586910165856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415235763644126,0.0,0.1543914771484584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17161705094978455,0.16139504132839028,0.18365319174104194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16832467600825451,0.18228112956660605,0.0,0.13347152670650322,0.0,0.16146790338923442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11420533536226905,0.0,0.12885541838111778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520717636411974,0.16770586140996765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881705713772527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331317844004352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078099938067699
bipolarreddit,ninetales0317,2019/06/07,"Okay mania, you can leave now. I am so exhausted. This is the first time I have been manic in a while. It is more severe than I am used to and we are coming up on week 3. I am more aware of my mania than ever before. I had a psych appointment the day after spending six hours making a detailed spreadsheet about dog health insurance until three in the morning. So when I told her about that, she clued me in and prescribed me risperdal. 

Not a fan. I tried risperdal and it made me feel really fucked up, like a zombie. I went from fixating on things to not even being able to remember how to talk. I prefer being able to talk, even at a million words per minute. 

My brain is going so fast. I am finishing my term for university and something that should take 2 hours is taking a day because everything has to be so God damn perfect. 

I am convincing my self that there is something wrong in my four year relationship and I am two suitcases away from getting in my car with my dog and running away to start a new life.

I put a thousand dollars on a credit card because I was convinced my dog was dying from diarrhea and took him to this scammy emergency pet hospital before thinking out a logical plan. He is fine by the way. 

I am hardly sleeping, on some days I am refusing to take my meds or eat very much. My house is becoming so clean, my grades are already so good, everything is perfect enough, but I just can't stop. In the mean time I am just staring at a destruct life button thinking this will be the cure all. Get in my car and run away from my mania along with my entire life that I have been building.",4.6300264550264565,5.183884524691358,5.432081128747797,83.59722222222223,69.49382716049382,8.517107583774251,29.00881834215168,8.563005593585519,2.0069410934744267,1262,44,257,19,21,412,185,324,0.069,0.855,0.076,0.0594,0,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,1,1,0,4,17,14,3,0,18,1,35,9,2,4,4,40,54,20,1,2,6,0,2,1,0,2,5,0,2,1,10,14,1,2,7,0,3,9,3,5,0,7,9,3,41,9,44,39,7,51,0,0,1,1,12,19,2,2,23,189,51,3,0.2152861744595924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187868234730096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034026715384321,0.0,0.0,0.13123645373653994,0.11888333275745805,0.18319267788911994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12016528505478387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927249882781454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082626585183905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11171652989278008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11014575136226863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11122408391936067,0.0,0.1421944878182925,0.09736933508239763,0.0,0.0,0.1934853318716167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05442757921626922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156115500816804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09951429960634747,0.11247814054596847,0.0,0.06117604710861185,0.09028591447667096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964270629008228,0.0,0.0,0.11441956810758483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120135157452734,0.12420567022564467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11397848694153663,0.0,0.0,0.22809448768407525,0.052588975158122685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185449183779766,0.0718525965881599,0.0,0.0,0.11725487864559962,0.11956720351534805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913005468625847,0.0,0.0,0.10396236441306994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821103388613604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895891803818538,0.0,0.0,0.11556839138397795,0.12193863406558253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11229521606568743,0.1216060491830431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772082578004452,0.0,0.0,0.16573781502984794,0.0,0.0,0.07619033117717917,0.0,0.0,0.08999444086249199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24280261574793355,0.17303887213527097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151328408619845,0.13794668771898316,0.0,0.0,0.1255350996129422,0.0,0.0,0.10285758279123146,0.1195954306151333,0.07308259035121181,0.0,0.10515165507119156,0.0,0.0,0.09296906607976838,0.0,0.08881682026065059,0.0,0.08544207226972254,0.08634479164481314,0.0,0.0,0.0997862202919642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769081779085365,0.0,0.06931861895874378
bipolarreddit,AllAboutCatsCatsCats,2019/06/07,Medication And Pregnancy My SO and I are casually trying for a baby. Of course being on medication while pregnant is a concern for me but I have also been fairly stable and worry about going off of all medications. I am on Lamictal and gabapentin. I have read Lamictal is fairly low risk during pregnancy but gabapentin may not be as benign. Any moms out there who decided to stay on meds while pregnant and care to share their experiences?,4.2750925925925936,7.046712851851858,5.8402314814814815,71.22479166666669,74.80246913580247,8.988271604938271,28.64351851851852,9.516144504307137,3.30752962962963,355,15,57,10,8,120,58,81,0.128,0.742,0.13,0.0306,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,4,6,0,1,2,0,10,3,0,0,1,12,12,12,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,7,4,13,8,1,10,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,1,2,47,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844892961857144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15688271163434134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352122270954359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256671425801434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13111112410777154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562537332869478,0.6972126070304421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701909860760498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307606664760504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458936244728656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15662895898853024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342852572778201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Astinus,2019/06/07,benefits of prozac but not ssri Loved my high dose of prozac but the side effects of sleeping constatly were tiresome.  All ssri's have a tire effect on me.  Im' looking for the benefits of ssri but without being an ssri.,4.90527131782946,6.064593325581392,6.465116279069767,74.2401550387597,69.23255813953489,8.524031007751939,32.93798449612403,8.841846274778883,3.079207751937985,175,8,29,3,3,60,32,43,0.091,0.797,0.11199999999999999,-0.0049,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,4,0,3,6,1,2,1,8,5,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,2,3,7,3,1,3,0,0,1,1,1,3,0,0,0,21,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3977941886370875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4066859034056269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31616618334184304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33980703214988073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3767731041778248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4327327432777813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36293372085512215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,awkward_zoo,2019/02/08,"Anyone get on disability while married with a semi okay work record? I feel like I’m having a mental break. My husband and therapist see it and we’ve talked about it. I currently have a job, but I really don’t think I can keep doing what I’m doing with where I’m at mentally. I would like to quit and try to get on disability, but what are the odds with my work record? Any idea?",1.7701607142857156,3.439255837500003,3.912142857142858,87.37000000000003,78.125,7.571428571428572,20.17857142857143,8.418075326091056,0.924232142857143,297,7,66,6,7,102,53,80,0.0,0.902,0.098,0.7176,2,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,4,1,8,0,0,0,0,13,17,6,0,1,2,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,7,3,9,16,0,7,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,4,39,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792356973879046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16237979945098027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742187553616637,0.16590432452104809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24265996044483734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621580851887109,0.0,0.0,0.2304512830117135,0.20641565682217736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22691055470443555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4680640852234969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24700394924604166,0.0,0.0,0.1487717368213963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18505631293668853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866567390959112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696355738632377,0.0,0.14880285903954954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576681335390991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3381307121540765,0.0,0.0,0.16496869981780024,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,frogbasoon,2019/02/08,"Transitioning Treatment from Symptoms to Behaviors So I’ve been officially diagnosed with bipolar for about a year now. I had been diagnosed as all sorts of things before we settled on this. The medication has been working well now that I’m on the right things and I’ve made a couple lifestyle changes, like spending less time with my more reckless friends and not sleeping because I just could. 

And all of that has been going very well, and so is therapy. But this week I had a realization, about how messed up a lot of my mental relationships with things like sex and my past romantic relationships. On particular the combination of those two things and a lot of anger and shame about how I’ve handled things in the past. 

What I realized this week in therapy was my perspective has been all about limiting symptoms and episodes, I’ve been sleeping cause it makes me feel better. But I have been mad at myself for a long time about how I handled a breakup without changing the underlying behavior, and not thinking about how it  has kept me in the same place. And that is an awesome realization. 

But what scares me is contending with the behavior. How I’m going to change what I’m doing not how I feel. I realize the two are connected but adding the other mode is scary. I’ve always thought that you can say I did this because of my bipolar and that explains the behavior but doesn’t excuse it. 

I just wanted to ask if people have gone through a similar process? And if so how did it go and how did they deal with it? 

Thank you ",5.956430752649545,6.843493965870304,6.0904221304113575,78.86386024788936,66.67918088737201,9.717909107239088,33.85108676127178,9.811843763644266,3.2104648464163823,1224,54,233,26,19,389,141,293,0.057,0.872,0.071,0.2506,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,2,1,3,23,12,2,2,19,0,28,10,2,11,3,61,46,32,0,4,13,0,2,2,1,0,7,1,0,0,24,19,0,2,7,0,1,4,5,5,2,2,17,3,23,7,35,28,8,25,0,0,0,1,12,11,0,5,12,179,47,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879176920988159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976000792769564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300995849632464,0.0,0.09080286263116358,0.0,0.0,0.09437685565778348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10962118296535274,0.3386570025480663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519973251659126,0.11807325136218205,0.0,0.0,0.1100139449381073,0.0,0.21661802942717245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791217325646596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824443463403409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18193828266268686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426681987992917,0.0,0.0,0.09443552471701892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18144307549919084,0.0,0.10097215169606738,0.07123015540649609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10749970491496516,0.10753918813920244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20373468818784773,0.07397969525713265,0.0,0.1114898668180084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291345022795182,0.0,0.09113027098732483,0.0,0.08486055370088735,0.1068359283421762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21357533409149024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22182634832009027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824478523123507,0.24406574644535264,0.0,0.3544689114219297,0.06837584492843303,0.0,0.0847162982387312,0.12444762025306283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20848150484809247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804742222662364,0.06294067779186283,0.0,0.17119361636027608,0.0,0.1918912931177605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286521227921354,0.0,0.07768658911870377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871812899533591
bipolarreddit,pinstripe31,2019/02/08,"Trying to get back into the gym Hi guys. 
Recently diagnosed bipolar II here. I thought I had been struggling with MDD for the past few years and got my new diagnosis. My antidepressants made me gain weight like crazy and I’m feeling pretty bad about it. Switched to Lamictal and that’s going alright so far. My question is: those of you that struggle with BP, especially II, how do you motivate yourself to get to the gym, get a routine, and stick to it? I think it would help me improve my quality of life drastically but it never sticks when I go to the gym. ",3.724821610601431,5.599275100917431,4.830581039755352,82.0009378185525,73.22018348623854,8.147196738022426,30.45973496432212,8.841846274778883,2.5475007135575938,442,20,86,9,9,145,78,109,0.067,0.804,0.129,0.5994,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,2,6,5,0,2,5,1,5,4,0,3,1,17,16,8,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,7,7,1,0,5,3,0,2,1,3,0,0,5,2,12,2,13,10,1,11,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,8,54,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569441709550207,0.17041917624577868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071623111012009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320163684841667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199093652838898,0.0,0.23199518657399346,0.0,0.16324143943863134,0.0,0.0,0.20209607102583085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13680730059910018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14416542020337372,0.09971540889102584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931291163300968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15741838335326142,0.1971259117630078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19484134800823166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076481946259034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286443474691621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20152909568388566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4267497907966049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307822631045934,0.0,0.1620365966534149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13857391892073853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485449427582842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449903586722076,0.0,0.0,0.13143694876063258
bipolarreddit,AnonymousOlle,2019/02/08,Anyone manic rn? I am it feels good af. Not doik g any drugs or anything just chilling tho,-1.7023684210526326,-0.3670961052631547,0.5467105263157919,99.60322368421056,115.31578947368419,1.9,15.276315789473689,3.1291,-1.2971157894736842,70,2,15,0,4,23,19,19,0.057999999999999996,0.789,0.153,0.4215,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,2,2,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,7,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3429193934008303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3525957678159125,0.0,0.4149694297571711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.58479054900087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549729492402644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.422955902512194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,e-cloud,2019/03/02,I keep hallucinating the smell of incense Is this a bipolar thing? I get it for about a day at a time and then it goes away for a few days.,-0.006236559139782828,1.6308804193548454,2.523870967741935,95.37247311827957,83.51612903225806,5.423655913978496,20.010752688172047,6.42735559955562,-0.2214602150537633,107,3,28,1,3,37,25,31,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,6,3,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44837431585306986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6155491417226788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24933354604296445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4241849176923499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31705112875870456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27827728470101865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kweenofcats,2019/08/10,"I just found this sub, and feel like I’m at home. Sorry in advance if the grammar is a bit of, this is not my native language, and I’m a bit rusty when it comes to actually writing in English.

Anyway! Hi! 
Up until a couple of hours ago I thought that there couldn’t possibly be someone who could relate so much to all this batshit craziness that goes on inside my head. 
I mean, I got diagnosed 3 years ago (BPD2, and then some) and went to a couple of sessions with the psychiatrist and then I was kinda just let back in to society again, all alone, with this big scary new thing on my shoulders. 
just to clarify, we have a great healthcare system here, but when it comes to mental health, you get a diagnose, some meds, and then you’re good to go! 
So at first I was like “well shit, there goes my life down the drains” but it got... more even? The hypomania wasn’t to bad, and I just shrugged of the depression as “bad days” that could last anywhere for 4 days to 3 weeks.
In retrospect; that was stupid.
So the last week has been hard, like fully clothed in the bathtub hard, and I’m just now feeling like I’m coming up for air again, whilst doing so I started thinking about bipolar disorder, because as mentioned, I really haven’t gone around thinking I am bipolar, it’s just archived waaaaay in the back of my head, and I googled, and found Reddit, and we all know Reddit has almost everything. 
So I started reading, and crying, and even chuckle at some of the way to relatable memes on this page. Looord, I lold for the first time this week. Thank you! 

Anyway, sorry for the rambling, the point of this post was basically to say thank you for being here, you strong beautiful people! 
And thank you for making this disorder a little bit less lonely. ❤️",5.087083003952568,5.627358342028987,5.369967061923585,84.49360671936763,68.47826086956522,8.243741765480896,29.30500658761528,8.150884317080207,1.841927536231884,1368,47,277,17,22,434,179,345,0.133,0.747,0.12,-0.5694,0,3,0,0,0,0,51.0,2,5,0,4,29,18,2,0,19,0,20,10,4,1,3,54,48,30,0,4,10,0,4,4,0,0,6,1,1,0,18,22,0,0,9,1,0,7,4,6,1,2,13,5,25,12,46,29,13,59,0,2,0,0,12,20,1,6,33,187,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.08641913220964734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570013736311425,0.0,0.08867732535670722,0.0917186361628038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883475577543084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361901663286382,0.1478832620368793,0.05398369684785402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900448458133089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288527698627309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14141156662392915,0.19597389520273067,0.09727601540613867,0.11422424082214305,0.0,0.07627425679794449,0.17976755322746876,0.0,0.0,0.20298863370076112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169824984638594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07958957441224718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955444475731235,0.12653067920673147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15065355682112874,0.0,0.1941969765253065,0.0,0.0,0.046267524520538485,0.0,0.0503291438839272,0.07427764615652407,0.14165469576595524,0.09763471549641807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586598596154419,0.0,0.1817706392055576,0.09413224911703703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888301738711636,0.0,0.0872110837787281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04866876594339817,0.14437200802265476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905558202805597,0.06255062687853011,0.17305845817349916,0.08875766090288116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05911267306465452,0.0,0.0,0.09646484101807988,0.09836717594451497,0.0,0.08924491086441326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509979143923962,0.0,0.0,0.08552917431505813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061394468595513285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08371525526736215,0.0998350289233801,0.08481339619033793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858124636531632,0.0,0.056732062172340114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07042430468358392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090277686486853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503429724185806,0.0,0.0,0.1982652527118998,0.1253625993053256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445949402976409,0.0,0.0,0.05883352283282418,0.1134878604070928,0.0,0.07030458957242681,0.05163846300567446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029264805830228,0.21310592859673846,0.0,0.07962363137698196,0.0820934871746649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057027985826148986
bipolarreddit,generalthrowaway1138,2019/08/10,"Sometimes I wish I just had normal depression because then I wouldn't ""know"" I'm not supposed to feel this way. Anyone feel this? Day three of what will surely be a long, grinding crash into the dirt.  The worst part, for me, worse than being depressed and not being able to do shit, is *knowing*, deep down, that the feelings and physical state are completely abnormal.  I *know* what it's like to feel ""normal"", because that's how I feel for weeks before a crash. And sometimes I wish I didn't know. I wish I could just... be in the depression and not know there was anything else, not know how abnormal it is.

And I guess I'm wondering how other people feel.",1.9446316964285728,4.436554914062501,2.9100892857142884,90.48312500000002,81.890625,5.8446428571428575,22.424107142857146,7.1686216300943375,0.8542325892857141,511,17,101,7,14,162,74,128,0.21100000000000002,0.6920000000000001,0.09699999999999999,-0.9501,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,0,6,7,1,0,6,0,14,1,1,3,1,37,33,9,0,7,6,0,6,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,0,13,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,3,6,11,2,10,23,2,10,0,3,0,0,0,4,1,2,5,69,20,0,0.1260347592842286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08812643414564887,0.0,0.10371586803346317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536592388946474,0.0,0.107246297252228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13214504719787235,0.0,0.0,0.10062849974675483,0.0,0.0,0.0812819931428387,0.0,0.32566066047289266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052858689548943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3823617672894253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13884149663598008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4155924456534278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06157421712467935,0.0,0.0,0.11153679588396202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469746087707413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13648336230718733,0.0,0.08737663283153717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12937286923710306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493031992651046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187862690652767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004052548466222,0.10109748159832203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4348012595154764,0.0,0.13667932016086387,0.0,0.0,0.1284401871613484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,iGetHighPlayRS,2019/08/10,"For the first time, I promised to tell the absolute truth to my new therapist and followed through. I was diagnosed Bipolar I today. It was hard and I cried a lot, but I did it. I feel so much lighter. The fear of diagnosis has always been greater than the desire for real help until today. Thank you guys for helping in that. This sub has been a godsend.",1.5831428571428567,4.085202957142863,2.825357142857144,90.39089285714287,83.71428571428572,5.785714285714287,25.892857142857146,7.1686216300943375,1.3011428571428572,277,12,56,4,8,89,52,70,0.08800000000000001,0.612,0.3,0.9565,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,1,4,0,1,6,0,7,2,0,0,1,8,10,5,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,5,2,8,3,10,5,3,8,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,6,43,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901945279443115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510813033605482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320010301503428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25721288013151195,0.11557549215763435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944276358597864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263273489183323,0.0,0.0,0.20476025964326686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30642093634081746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19432814775748453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680305305970896,0.0,0.0,0.2207612685687898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601708771964704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997865336790453,0.21044316062536014,0.0,0.2653957280971165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13328519410327327,0.0,0.43332888702424655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DisCountryNeedsAUpdo,2019/08/10,"Worried about being a good partner to my SO as their parent is dying I'm not sure how to write this post so I apologize in advance if it seems out of place here/also for the vague language, as I am trying to keep out identifying details.

I was diagnosed bipolar ii 4 years ago during uni. I moved back home from the city I went to school in last year after a suicide attempt, and have been more stable since. However, since moving back I do not have a therapist or a pdoc and have been off meds bc it took me about 8 months to find a job that offered insurance. Even now with insurance, the copays are a bit too high for me to afford regular treatment, and I am in the process of lining up providers. I've experienced periodic depression and hypomania in the past year, but nothing that rendered me ""nonfunctional"".

Right as I moved, I met a wonderful person and we fell in love & have been together since - the relationship is long distance and we live 4 hours apart. 

They told me when we began dating that their parent was dying of a terminal disease. I had just learned that my parent had been diagnosed with a serious chronic condition also, and we commiserated as we were primary caregivers.

However, their parent had taken a turn for the worse recently and has been told that their parent has only several weeks to live. I understand they need to be with their parent during this time, and am trying my best to be supportive. However, I am concerned about being needy towards somebody who may be grieving the loss of a parent soon, and perceiving their grief as abandonment (abandonment is very triggering for me, am not sure if this is part of my Dx). It is harder because we are long distance. I want to be present but am also concerned about behaving irrationally in reaction to my partner's symptoms of grief and emotional exhaustion.

Has anyone in this sub experienced this kind of tragedy in their LDR before? Besides the obvious go to therapy/get back on meds advice, what advice can you give about being a supportive and nurturing partner while also making sure my needs are being met? Or how do I go about meeting my own needs in the absence of my partner while also being present for them?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you!",8.273278759155536,7.76453093364929,8.444463593278757,68.68488582507541,61.938388625592424,11.748556656613527,38.139164153382175,11.115808304768276,4.383763981042653,1802,80,307,43,22,592,215,422,0.126,0.78,0.095,-0.9232,12,0,0,0,0,1,42.0,6,2,10,4,23,21,0,0,22,0,47,8,0,4,4,57,73,34,6,7,10,7,0,0,4,2,7,0,1,5,15,23,0,3,6,0,0,9,3,9,0,0,19,2,45,12,56,42,5,56,0,7,0,1,42,19,0,7,27,229,60,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20574863714634736,0.062213778405471674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806301329063674,0.0,0.07604420886034705,0.0,0.04772744774562765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04907420346475709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16190122353095554,0.0,0.042783444189361634,0.0,0.05972131589370011,0.0,0.07365365612944134,0.0,0.0766226237292787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0604492763435044,0.1424703295560101,0.1456795817202465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07894742287132818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046355793382086334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414679837711636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03666818259378004,0.06732677664150136,0.0797742371933147,0.05886691194586328,0.0,0.07737797974744028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07415312668074546,0.07040015797471816,0.0,0.06911698815397596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0696466751989382,0.0623826607463017,0.0,0.07308571487291472,0.0,0.057209232679559074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394731058698027,0.12422105734972334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06334369536254457,0.0,0.046848287476002365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559169463309762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05602010651888422,0.2237830843343382,0.0,0.15612138179847818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734332945168743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05337800629688854,0.0,0.0,0.5455162814144052,0.07600230687136869,0.06699845863446999,0.0,0.061281860284517674,0.07332722077530289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721676013864518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06929811828364336,0.07535122570069959,0.0,0.05993665335441396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07102983742425083,0.0,0.06389277196108126,0.0,0.07928781173493264,0.0,0.17417050201478468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07676977765829075,0.15928767941840535,0.1984424398913429,0.07294792827942974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461589077357624,0.0,0.08148889860586157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04092478709367072,0.0,0.0,0.1341274174212478,0.07797687738952655,0.09530050032537506,0.07633991185072315,0.0,0.07306389828561198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057909054451082125,0.041396273113545864,0.0,0.0562972782210949,0.0,0.0,0.06506116349804915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611142822269837,0.0,0.07127514088588971,0.07152337364961568,0.04985661743361817,0.0,0.0,0.1355883604471083
bipolarreddit,ohsovogue,2019/02/27,"Doctor is forcing me to come off Depakote because I am a 'woman of childbearing age'. She knows I have an IUD and do not want kids but insists despite my protests. I feel totally enraged and dehumanised. I have recently moved back to the UK (specifically London) after having attended university in the US. This is important because the two countries have different rules regarding prescription medications. It was in the US that I received my bipolar diagnosis and started treatment. When I first moved back my GP was happy to renew all my prescriptions from the US, so I do currently have enough Depakote to last me a few months, but he also referred me to a new psychiatrist. I met with her for the first time yesterday and she said that in the UK, they do not prescribe Depakote to women of childbearing age because it can cause birth defects and she would not be able to keep me on as a patient if I were to continue to take it. I'm on a lot of medications for a multitude of health conditions and it took months of painful trial and error to find a drug for bipolar that didn't give me unbearable side effects and also played nice with my other medications. Finally finding Depakote was the best thing that happened to me. I really don't want to go through the pain of finding a new drug all over again. Especially as I've recently been through some trauma (coming out of an emotionally abusive relationship), and am worried how the instability of coming off and on medications might impact me.   


What makes me the most angry about all of this, is that this would not be an issue if I were a man. I do not want kids and of this I have been certain since I was a child. I have an IUD in place, the most effective form of birth control, and moreover since breaking up with my ex I have only dated women (I'm bisexual) so I don't foresee an unplanned pregnancy occurring in the near future. My psychiatrist knows all of this but apparently at 25 I am too young to know what I want or have agency over my own body and my mental health is less important than the wants of some hypothetical future baby-wanting husband. I feel truly disgusted, like I've been reduced to a walking womb. I desperately wanted to scream at her but I need to hold out at least for one more appointment because I'm almost out of Ritalin (also have ADHD) and she's the only doctor I can get in to see and prescribe it before I run out.  


She was deliberately vague about what the 'rules' are surrounding this and if another psychiatrist would be allowed to prescribe it to me or not. My pharmacist certainly had no issues giving it to me after I said I had an IUD. Has anyone else been through this and know what the rules are? Anyone on here a woman in the UK who has successfully been prescribed Depakote? If anyone has a London (ideally zone 1/2) based psych that does will you message me their name (private sector doc is fine)? I'm really at a loss of what to do but I feel like she's not the right psychiatrist for me long term if she's so rigid about these antiquated, sexist standards. ",7.292836375212225,6.959677037351444,7.936145479626488,70.94790242996606,63.85568760611206,11.097644312393891,36.06329584040747,10.618573550423957,3.8400801782682494,2441,104,443,55,32,816,266,589,0.10800000000000001,0.812,0.08,-0.9387,4,0,2,0,0,0,47.0,3,1,2,9,16,21,3,1,39,0,55,17,2,7,7,94,90,39,0,16,19,2,3,2,0,5,15,3,0,8,29,27,0,4,13,1,0,11,11,10,0,4,19,7,64,11,81,63,19,72,0,1,1,1,36,29,0,14,33,340,93,5,0.07487914189187342,0.0887195388139765,0.0,0.0,0.08999017733146918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749806443350747,0.0,0.0,0.17964246815352708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851730910628298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15707171111269685,0.07672252967582358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11515487620252088,0.0,0.18258251957687308,0.0,0.06371663464058773,0.0,0.07858103973958401,0.0,0.0,0.08317384634767322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769215051318795,0.0,0.19350525146252892,0.0,0.0,0.08398332473440635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823276606406032,0.0,0.15328394925449662,0.06552724167121111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17367206408076974,0.0,0.0625519147690335,0.08422895617139321,0.0,0.07737017003063164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11358343202102306,0.05349367392911438,0.0,0.08202643987900711,0.2053145374174176,0.12738431968240035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03912126111589415,0.1436617919280484,0.04255554192765373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621537788281999,0.07971023891588504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591860526490576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563087398466034,0.0,0.06655602180224454,0.0,0.0,0.16460647250015062,0.061036494627814436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316433287363512,0.0,0.0,0.0662656842651281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.063659568733017,0.0,0.0,0.04998240865889138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3017314310831901,0.07546056326487845,0.07943493649460509,0.0,0.0,0.11953563333881875,0.1591693553063966,0.0,0.055521934922662365,0.0,0.14463748368127616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05074004443335718,0.1138979231842616,0.1593533726899921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823276606406032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593899137188708,0.0,0.14786823826247647,0.08039217565529899,0.0,0.06394637804297955,0.14245442218025722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596689814526411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12388159990531893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05299984203189625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05629979587850077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049746374653978284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04366262979925944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319348180280935,0.0,0.0,0.07314604126349891,0.0,0.2702111642110661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649939476369801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07604340331124076,0.0,0.1595759820373537,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kokopuuffs,2019/02/27,"I Am a Colorful Portrait of Bipolar, ADHD, Anxiety, Trichotillomania, Insomnia, and Binge Eating and I Need Advice I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar a month ago. At the age of 13, I was diagnosed with ADHD, Trichotillomania, anxiety, insomnia and a binge eating disorder. I didn't seek medication until I was 18 as my family refused me any meds. In which I was placed on Adderall and Xanax. 

After 3 years, my body began to digest it differently causing constant need to have my meds adjusted until he suggested Vyvanse. Xanax never needed to be adjusted nor did I experience addictive side effects. My doctor would take me off of Xanax to see if I experienced and adverse effects. 

With Vyvanse I was able to focus, avoid binge eating all together without any issues maintaining a normal diet. My mood swings were gone, I was even able to sleep normally as once the meds wore off, I was tired and ready for bed by 9:30am

Now with my new diagnosis of Bipolar, which came apparent when mania appeared out of nowhere once I stopped taking Vyvanse when waiting for new insurance due to moving out of state, (the meds are expensive as hell at 200 bucks) 

My doctor now has me on Lamictal(100mg) for depression Seroquel(50mg) for my mania and Insomnia, and Hydroxyzine(50mg) for my anxiety. My mania and depression are gone, although these meds do nothing for my anxiety. I am still dealing with the mood swings I often experienced with adhd. I am quickly irritable or angry over the smallest things. No attention to anything..(like I stopped writing this post 3 times lmao) no motivation, and I am back to binge eating. 

I have asked my doctor to allow me back on my Vyvanse in which he has told me no until my mood stabilizes. It has and then he has told me my mania may happen with Vyvanse even tho he stated this med carries a small risk due to the way it metabolizes. I have never experienced mania during Vyvanse and I am so worried about my binge eating symptoms in which I have gained 60 pounds since last October, and my lack of attention and along with my impulse issues. 

I see my psychiatrist again today and I am wondering if I should insist that I am placed back on my adhd meds as a trial run? I have tried most non-stimulants such as Concerta which just led to me being even more exhausted than I normally am atm. 

Any advise would be appreciated <3
Thank you in advance 

",7.039863945578227,7.733754256235829,7.797687074829934,68.24850340136054,64.26077097505669,11.068480725623582,35.6077097505669,10.903163001774269,4.2288131519274375,1901,85,313,50,27,636,213,441,0.12300000000000001,0.835,0.042,-0.9859,2,1,0,0,0,0,53.0,0,1,0,5,19,11,1,2,12,0,37,28,2,6,3,66,57,33,0,12,5,0,0,0,0,4,20,0,1,0,13,27,7,5,8,0,3,8,8,7,0,0,17,6,56,1,62,33,4,64,1,2,3,0,13,19,1,8,33,228,69,5,0.13128473564209556,0.0,0.0,0.07155987010234285,0.3155574795022973,0.06414496211851245,0.05818799843952242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13391718327305707,0.0,0.2008649268481592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06136675284437738,0.0,0.0,0.15142478697849782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729138726366443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507738146095834,0.0,0.06743279377462318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093607973615508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767439887680167,0.11307535043512927,0.13325124315475198,0.0,0.06858230310719372,0.07523184051096587,0.20156323491038494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3358426495801184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13006849457366018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06421083151182372,0.061881782360554714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058047329076903686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13702715516520586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05350729094427874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5103971084565101,0.06612777965235822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05239511173004125,0.06976744860370432,0.0,0.14601895196365322,0.10125488157441104,0.12679561577010456,0.0,0.0,0.19294674981083249,0.0629856223087456,0.0,0.0,0.1398139587885741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13716460621438745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286724314614606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06481391906902476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10461693681472684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054300044991082944,0.0,0.06568977395404339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05242207973559202,0.1097599175381142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06822755417980743,0.09870978261591278,0.0,0.0,0.060434672959366935,0.0,0.0,0.043609872392975285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03827659255839157,0.07544624542789638,0.06222128933374544,0.12544819098976845,0.0,0.04456685887230183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052103856175626066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06327690012613177,0.0711863477859864,0.0,0.06666301087863415,0.0,0.09326090945706313,0.0,0.0,0.04227153270718701
bipolarreddit,Jill121212,2019/10/25,I think I may be bipolar I often go through different states of emotions. I’ll be sad for a while then feel really happy and confident. When I’m feeling down I get very mad at everyone around me and can’t control how mad I get. I used to go on sex sprees a lot when I was single. I’d do hookups a lot. I’m also in the mood for sex. I often go on shopping sprees as well. I have spent around a thousand a month on various items.,0.3774349881796688,2.0709530319148968,2.9195035460992886,92.73388888888887,82.51063829787235,6.305437352245864,23.21040189125296,7.3871296695380915,0.8429068557919615,331,12,78,5,9,115,62,94,0.113,0.763,0.124,-0.0076,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,9,6,2,0,6,0,7,3,0,3,0,15,19,9,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,3,1,2,3,1,3,1,1,2,2,10,2,14,14,5,17,0,1,0,2,0,8,0,5,5,54,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741925188746735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38781628814343855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443063774839705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22757807860196974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24502091607548526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20813866679952492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22027513125975487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22760645916445985,0.0,0.37138052070781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23187602752697026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3703696818038375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738637857789816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13954262656101618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13957181810074207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18812864294813605,0.0,0.1797263172706095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19584852433034514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Reddicini,2019/10/25,"Just got to sleep. I think I was awake the whole time. Can’t stop thinking. Fuck man. Fuck man. Sometimes it’s harder than you expect. I haven’t slept in a few days. I’m tired. I don’t feel well. I feel so disconnected from everything. It’s a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality. What’s crazy is that I also have confidence. I’m like a functional BPD individual. I can’t explain it. Fuck man I’m in pain over this. My stomach actually hurts and it is so tense. It’s just a low. I know I’ll get out of it but I can’t sleep dammit. It’s these stupid summersaults of the mind. Everything plays over and over. I’m so irritable. I’m so tired. 

Why can’t I be better? You know? Why is it there? I can’t even relax. Man this is hard sometimes. My meds don’t work. I don’t even want to leave the house. I’m so scared that people can see into me and my mind and see how fuckin crazy this is. I’m so confused. I’m lost as a person. I can’t focus to succeed. I can’t become a great person. I want to be something. I don’t want to just be another person I want to be something SOMETHING. I feel like I’m supposed to do something with my life but I can’t fucking figure it the hell out. I can’t fucking focus for 10 minutes and I’m losing my fucking mind. I’m so tired. I want to sleep. I can’t sleep. I keep rolling around and my anxiety feels like every part of my all my muscles are twitching. 

It sucks. I don’t do drugs. I don’t abuse any substances at all. I don’t want to. I don’t believe in self harm. I don’t believe in hurting other people. I don’t feel like I’m a bad person. But I don’t get why this is in me. I don’t understand this torture of the mind that does this to me. I don’t understand why it’s there and I fight it every day. I feel so disconnected from the world. I don’t feel like it’s real. I don’t feel like you’re real. My reality is in this damn house. Fuck. I wish I were better. I wish I could fucking think. I wish I could sleep. Idk what I did wrong. 

Idk what to do. Idk where to go. It doesn’t matter. It’s just in me. It’ll never leave. I have to disguise it. I have to live with it. It needs to be suppressed. It’s always gonna be there. Keeping me awake. Fucking with my head. I can’t focus. I can’t succeed. My mind is like a hurricane or something. It won’t stop. I just need it to for ten minutes so I can fucking sleep. I don’t even know who the fuck I am. No one does. Everyone just sees me differently but who the fuck am I? I’m not like you. You’re not like me. You’ll never even know me. 

It doesn’t matter. I’ll always have this. I just need to sleep. Just for a minute. So I can wake up and stay that way for a while.",-2.108210389890917,-0.3102909543147181,0.8782649314180802,99.96411734528569,102.36717428087988,3.800849623789466,15.085880404651327,5.697471306920549,-0.8823362278143789,2030,52,510,19,94,702,189,591,0.22399999999999998,0.644,0.132,-0.996,1,0,6,0,2,0,90.0,0,4,0,7,30,47,19,2,18,0,66,32,11,1,4,85,134,28,0,15,15,0,9,9,0,4,8,0,0,11,42,16,0,5,19,2,0,1,37,30,1,2,6,12,77,17,48,116,5,30,1,5,3,13,19,19,16,2,17,305,119,3,0.0,0.0557613603160447,0.04592620582639972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03763585988191347,0.07831953111331783,0.0,0.0,0.032004110130167567,0.04934912898163054,0.0360026795088097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041895597970517576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03929521714074175,0.0,0.051976827709073095,0.0,0.10604663043960244,0.0,0.08324590385844317,0.0,0.0,0.059273564374747324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515114476327961,0.0,0.0,0.06070283119293311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04917029005488556,0.0,0.0,0.08236941224426934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05457755231541736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433733515176247,0.0,0.07930436288052327,0.044970230353641984,0.08459347097411304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19036969048083685,0.1681072775211746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5221022141881749,0.04917642193058347,0.0,0.026746700203750636,0.0,0.03764017612581996,0.0518865663776002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042158751093505135,0.0,0.048299696929951084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10860759993966916,0.10076274755344773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836626150796183,0.0,0.0,0.10345726483857727,0.0,0.0,0.09966477286412437,0.0,0.0,0.033241631698229565,0.2069312185325735,0.0,0.04155704490533129,0.0,0.0,0.05265089327245416,0.0513742722142604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05227582195606851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375985173908336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046887301282556,0.07259499420287988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031890764288495466,0.0,0.050077812345118856,0.0,0.0,0.05096409538221972,0.0,0.0652544159892689,0.20546577474456715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713484415984002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04711776715495418,0.0,0.1125081448444574,0.0,0.049096445755834585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3296753775880365,0.0,0.0,0.1811550378188781,0.09309202097353546,0.0,0.0,0.050162357317471394,0.0,0.07869270551200404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046723860654582,0.0,0.0,0.027442519033913485,0.16227424290972653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798743313217728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665520717678586,0.037356017588520515,0.0,0.0,0.042314834571509696,0.0,0.16986632488507702,0.05254359445741225,0.1623586383546259,0.0,0.0,0.034262056538077915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05145544978735767,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,taiiigastyle,2019/10/25,"Recent Diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder and Prescription, So I finally decided to take the step to better my mental health. For years I have felt the decrease in creativity, clear thoughts and clear decision making (among other common symptoms) and I now am facing one issue (self-manufactured or not, idk). I am curious about the dosage and prescription I was given by my doctor.  

I was given Equetro (100mg), Seroquel XR, and finally Trazodone (50mg). I know everyone responds to medication differently, but I have not filled the prescription yet out of fear I will be permanently damaging myself or causing some kind of irreparable harm. I cannot tell if I am being reasonable or unreasonable, I am just sharing because I feel like it's the right thing to do?

It's like-- I hate feeling like this and maybe this will ""fix"" me, but is this worth it? I just need some help here because I am afraid.",7.189573170731705,7.88639881097561,7.714536585365857,68.96339024390247,63.9390243902439,11.438048780487804,36.52195121951219,11.20814326018867,4.443970243902438,711,33,120,20,10,235,107,164,0.126,0.725,0.149,-0.1787,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,1,7,11,1,2,5,0,16,6,1,3,2,32,27,13,0,2,10,0,3,3,0,2,5,0,0,0,8,7,0,0,8,0,1,2,3,5,0,1,6,3,20,6,13,17,2,13,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,6,10,85,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20000106278230573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450847936136103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16851977738989596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713924902939444,0.18801019957608855,0.16790738143725084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15675237548526935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18459664203045326,0.16589253028392556,0.2343880818984637,0.1575092753628766,0.3594073559740343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619608347127983,0.0,0.1743725510181003,0.0,0.0,0.10995614968313618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17122073988206388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17082800281448796,0.090155041997368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404328360633309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10950155442442493,0.0,0.16480561751611242,0.0,0.0,0.16525844596545894,0.16531914321373806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12163755892948075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11116138429692547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16866595609562735,0.16197500654924954,0.0,0.0,0.14009384468254407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17113509180607234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050594523291296,0.12334169816718082,0.0,0.14338287888693307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898445068475933,0.0,0.0,0.1302336951152886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10563983609449183
bipolarreddit,Kramerade,2019/10/25,"Recently started Abilify I’m glad reddit has a community where I can share with people who are like me. I just wanted to share my experience on abilify. I recently started abilify for bipolar depression after ages on being on antidepressants, and I finally don’t want to kill myself daily. I’m still having episodes however they’re more manageable and less frequent. I’ve already noticed a difference in my day to day life and my doctor said it’s a slow burn so it can only get better. I’m at a point right now where I don’t feel like engaging in self destructive activities, I’m more active at school, and I finally feel like there’s a chance I can be better in the future, whether it be on abilify or some other sort of antipsychotics.",4.1258857808857785,6.181461629370631,6.0561013986014025,72.86825466200469,72.56643356643356,10.08135198135198,30.797785547785548,10.317481424215053,3.782012121212121,595,27,103,19,12,206,90,143,0.084,0.7170000000000001,0.19899999999999998,0.8999,1,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,0,2,7,12,2,0,6,0,11,3,0,0,0,14,23,7,1,2,3,0,2,3,0,0,3,1,0,1,5,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,3,12,9,16,19,4,28,0,1,0,0,5,13,0,3,18,67,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819480894316966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29164417426692896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21266664494426266,0.0,0.1420100512122768,0.0,0.0,0.17226347455975205,0.0,0.16876065503806026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612833112838018,0.0,0.0,0.1667355647917066,0.235579197863208,0.0,0.3612337962779942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614247850401881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824141976326325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645892204379316,0.2416546703271048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18771584767698268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539791816126364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430634653701825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15586395970084765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255962658825801,0.0,0.0,0.14080577514254106,0.1568376970787328,0.0,0.0,0.1668663623514403,0.0,0.0,0.17200476802137796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334044262747007,0.0,0.13167259175864907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944998259845584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,clock_project,2019/10/25,"Anyone else just end up blaming themselves after a fight? I just had a bad fight with my husband... We went backpacking this weekend and we had a particularly stressful moment trying to figure something out and he said, in the heat of the moment, ""You're a really crappy teammate."" This CRUSHED ME and put me in a horrible funk the rest of the weekend. Now, what he said was genuinely his fault and after he cooled off and realized what he said, he apologized profusely. But by that time, it was way, way too late. I was too far gone, down into a ""I'm a piece of shit"" spiral that has lasted through the weekend and beyond. He also has this habit of saying things in a really condescending tone which he did a lot this weekend too, because he thinks he knows so much more than me about camping even though I grew up learning about the outdoors through my dad (who has been backpacking and camping for more than 50 years). Anyway, we ended up getting into a fight tonight about how he says things condescendingly and how it affected me and he argued that I spent the whole rest of the weekend saying how everything was my fault, which I did. He seemed to use that as an excuse that I was confirming that he did nothing wrong when in reality, it is my severe current depressive state that makes me feel this way. I don't actually think it was all my fault, but emotionally, I felt it was. Then tonight, I just ended everything by saying I got us into this fight and, yeah again it's all my fault. I ruined our night, I ruined our weekend. Anyone have these times where it's just natural to blame yourself, even if you started the fight thinking you were justified in fighting?",6.9023576388888905,6.807671409375002,6.941458333333332,76.95993055555556,64.59375,9.861111111111112,33.09027777777778,9.444778638647367,2.889756944444444,1321,49,247,22,18,423,165,320,0.175,0.7829999999999999,0.042,-0.9896,1,0,1,0,7,0,39.0,6,2,0,0,24,19,8,1,20,2,20,1,1,6,2,44,39,22,0,1,7,2,2,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,28,18,0,0,10,6,1,4,1,18,0,0,22,10,32,1,37,17,10,52,0,3,0,0,41,17,1,3,27,181,60,1,0.0,0.0,0.11302071689542292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926188390329522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619639239842142,0.11866823640231453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670238444245764,0.07060098802668295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09975304036907373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675026932236533,0.13027857299674972,0.30773854338982,0.0,0.0,0.15299211531688042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20817776174034766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05856057153576163,0.0,0.1112025137195399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060509619300528714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926294609637612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06365001217547926,0.09440633936688993,0.13064665727544875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846349936059974,0.0,0.0,0.07730876851626366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851388449534097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10868643932416047,0.0,0.11112956626988403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11642810652423068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14839071334617718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3305055591741425,0.3684094111424924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105435476588805,0.0,0.13084028069792006,0.11888451950811404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916160991351846,0.0,0.0,0.08197589169831912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13266801940413853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15388738021386242,0.2226326337845146,0.11378964637915658,0.0,0.1350676860332458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07863216262614191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393136299017164,0.1000287303454025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27579050863716376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736354943275006,0.0,0.1293055807023682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12662774375758826,0.0,0.07458237170835481
bipolarreddit,sleeping__forever,2019/10/25,"Advice? Is this bipolar? So I'm starting to become very ""flexible"" on how im feeling. I havent talked to my doctor yet because I've recently just noticed it.

I feel like tomorrow when I read this I wont recognize this because right now I feel like a completely different person. Literally. I don't know if maybe I have a personality disorder.

I have health anxiety cause i get dizzy a lot. I sometimes feel like i get so dizzy that I'm about to go blank or ljke I'm being pushed out of my body. I've have multiple tests done to rule out serious medical conditions. Bloodword, EEG, head MRI, 2 day holter monitor, heart ultrasound. All good.

So basically when I get this certain type of dizziness, it scares me. It throws me into an extremely depressive state. I honest to God feel like I could kill myself in those moments. Sometimes it stays for a few days. Sometimes it's only moments throughout the day. 

Right now, I feel very OK. I dont feel like I'm me (because I feel like the real me is always sad) 

I dont know. Just weird. Anyone have any suggestions, thoughts???",1.8074285714285736,4.365195861904763,3.668214285714289,84.34803571428574,83.23809523809524,7.30952380952381,26.369047619047624,8.344100000000001,2.1934761904761912,841,37,162,20,24,282,123,210,0.095,0.7440000000000001,0.161,0.9127,1,0,0,0,0,1,34.0,0,0,0,0,13,16,1,1,7,1,14,8,3,2,2,25,34,8,1,2,4,0,8,6,0,1,5,0,0,2,11,3,0,0,11,1,0,3,5,6,0,0,2,8,25,10,14,29,3,25,0,2,0,0,4,7,0,3,19,87,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336130998477456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07949755320921545,0.0,0.0,0.0649709826353634,0.0,0.07308840819756238,0.0,0.0,0.06680431013504415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17472225359647706,0.10551724627844797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10612422925502826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981466627277816,0.0,0.0,0.10017265309097467,0.0,0.0,0.07628151043075347,0.0,0.0,0.18484762935038693,0.0,0.08228910342254588,0.0,0.0,0.09981974341228228,0.10949797070099647,0.09779000061992077,0.0,0.097771352877633,0.22394608250241574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3864661696333562,0.4095259626698177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974828743837876,0.0,0.05429800695671004,0.08013504376383769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805236757922432,0.1015553439413842,0.0,0.1132162424935417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320039916221953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570167848397158,0.0,0.1050133893739073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800582914988661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122532458411331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598351961131586,0.0,0.0,0.09624724890042316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087737710935119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07266304158372205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16684498620703708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09556659939359737,0.10874628401228546,0.0,0.0,0.09433495928100234,0.0,0.0,0.1631825479152369,0.0,0.0,0.09565295267360073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834767184697281,0.0,0.06762423085211314,0.10183372176157623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679203157978771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584867929596108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15766224044596006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0